#i’m so crazily sad rn

[ashtxrie]

oh no... am i falling in love? (sunoo)

PAIR. high school!sunoo x gn!reader GENRE. fake dating au, high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff WORD COUNT. 2.2k WARNINGS. none! NOTES. first post kinda nervous!! <//3 i need a sunoo irl he is truly the greenest of green flags

you and sunoo are those friends

you’ve got that type of friendship where something clicked and suddenly you were both attached at the hip for years

because apparently having the same clear muji pencil case with the holy grail 0.5 black muji pen at the beginning of middle school meant best friends ride or die in seventh-grade culture

like, someone who prioritized aesthetics in notetaking as much as you did? even in the confines of this crusty campus? crazy.

but anyway, with you being absolutely intent on making friends, sunoo couldn’t get rid of you if he tried but pls he could never survive without you anyway... who else would he trust enough to exchange his top-tier notes with?

and since then you’ve both been best friends for life! well, ever since the +6 with the introduction of sunoo's other friends [read: the rest of enhypen...]

and at first you were super happy because new friends!

but then they kind of stopped hanging out with you in the middle of sophomore year or so and went off into their own little world

and you were a little sad

ok maybe a lot sad. devastated, even.

but that was okay because that meant you were able to meet new friends and expand your horizons! you even got the chance to focus on yourself and join some new clubs, too!

who even is sunoo anymore lmao you don’t know him

but anyway

it was junior year and you were so tired of your friends bugging you to get a s/o

“[name], why don’t you date someone?”

“you’d really hit it off with so and so, don’t you think?”

“just put yourself out there”

ರ_ರ

ayo... excuse me

so one day you just can’t take it anymore

and maybe you should’ve thought this through but... nope

you don’t pause to think things through

because life is for living in the moment hell yes yolo gang

“umm guys i’m already dating someone!”

needless to say your friends go INSANE

like who tf is [name] gatekeeping from us they’re so fake /j

so like any sane and mentally adept person, you say the first name that comes to mind

“hahaha … sunoo!”

your friends stare at you. flabbergasted, shocked, stunned beyond words.

blink blink

“but … weren’t you guys just friends”

“NO”

you’re panicking but

trust

“we’re in LOVE”

ur friends are really like ok whatever, but go off

and that is how you find yourself dragging yourself over to sunoo's fifth period and placing your hands on sunoo's shoulders

“promise me you won’t freak out”

and ofc sunoo is already freaking out

bc why are you standing in front of the ap lang classroom with this crazily determined face and forcing him to listen to you

and this is how you get into this situation

with sunoo having a literal double take and you doing your best "pls help me out i beg of you" impression

“i can’t DATE you”

what

you give sunoo your best professional face even though inside you’re ???

bc um is it that bad to date you??

you are confused???

you’ve saved sunoo thousands of times in his high school career in both academics and social standing he can afford to pretend to date you ONCE

“WHY NOT”

“BECAUSE”

...

is he being fr rn

obviously you’re not getting anywhere and you turn around to walk away, kind of annoyed

“fine then, i’ll just find someone else to date me.” shrug (dies inside).

as soon as you say that, it’s like you’ve flipped a switch and suddenly sunoo is very concerned and almost a little upset

and when you don’t notice him contemplating something, he runs in front of you and nearly knocks you over

“second thoughts?”

sunoo scowls

although it looks more like a lil pout pushing at his lips and he crosses his arms

lmao who is this and what’s happened to sunoo

you shrug and start to leave for real until sunoo reaches out to tug at your arm

“NO, NO WAIT … I’LL DO IT”

you whirl around immediately and you are needless to say, very relieved!

｡◕‿◕｡

“perfect!”

but apparently sunoo hasn’t recovered from his fall from before

bc he can’t stop rubbing his hand against his neck and his face is all blotchy and pink

kinda cute, but in a best friends way.  like wowie my best friend looks kinda adorable look at that boy go

but ofc sunoo has to ruin the special moment because he offhandedly says, “shouldn’t we have rules or something?”

rules???

RULES???

this is fake dating sunoo wdyfm rules? that's so silly goofy

“huh?”

“like … things not to do? maybe one big rule is not ruining our friendship???”

ʘ‿ʘ

oh

he kinda smart for that

“ok easy then, just don’t fall in love with me”

apparently this is the WRONG thing to say?

sunoo is RED like boy is not pink anymore his cheeks are burning red

“you can’t just say that?”

????

you are confused bc what does that even mean

“why not?”

“that’s like ...  y-you you can’t just say that.”

you are, if possible, even more confused?

“okay and?”

sunoo blinks

pls this boy has the audacity to just shrug

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

u are dumb af sunoo bout to throw hands here

but he won’t bc he loves u <3

so fifteen minutes later you guys decide to make three big rules

sunoo had a whole list of like twenty but you narrowed it down to these:

1. don’t ruin ur friendship

2. no kissing

3. and ur paying for three rounds of mint choco ice cream after this is over

honestly you think this is kinda rude considering sunoo is richer than ur entire life but whatever, at least he’s not leaving you out to the wolves

so when it’s finally time to put this fake dating thing to the test, you tug sunoo over to your side of the table during lunch and make sure to swing his hand

which actually feels kind of nice??

like you’ve never actually thought about this before

but sunoo is comforting

his hand fits right in yours, and he’s so warm

and i mean haha it’s not like this is a new thing, you two hold hands all the time!! but adjkaldjkfl not in a dating way

ur friends are shocked. bamboozled.

like they never thought you’d actually show up with a DATE

and bc they’re all RUDE they grill sunoo

but sunoo is best boy

best bf

and answers all their questions like a pro

that's my man

i mean what???

ur so proud

you let ur head rest against sunoo's shoulder and BITCH

sunoo presses a kiss to ur forehead

YO........................ insane.

why are u so happy? what is this??

it’s just so gentle and soft and you feel your heart getting all mushy and warm

your friends all give a big collective aww because one, they’re annoying af and yes y’all are cute cute and this is cute

but ur going through some existential crisis

and later when you’re walking with sunoo to all your classes, you can’t stop thinking that hey, this fakedating thing isn’t that bad

but whatever it’s just cause u miss spending time with sunoo!

yes, that’s it!

you’re just sad that sunoo always hangs out with his new group and you don’t get to see him as much

so this is nice!

you’re just going through some bff nostalgia rn... it's just gonna take some time for [name].exe to start working again

anyway now bc of this fakedating thing, you and sunoo just spend so much time together

like you guys have always been best friends, but this feels different

sunoo will run over to you when he sees you and wrap his arms around your waist

the first time he did it, he had the cuteness to go “is this okay? are you okay? is this too much?"

and YOUR HEART WENT !!!!!

you might’ve blushed

okay you did

but you convince yourself it’s just because ur touch starved and bitchless

c’mon... get it together

but whenever you call sunoo and wave at him, his face just LIGHTS up

and you’re pretty sure yours does too

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

needless to say, you kinda don’t want this all to end

because somewhere in the middle of all this, your head has gone from calling sunoo your fake boyfriend to your real boyfriend

and you don’t really want to go back to just being friends if you’re honest

wait hold up

uh oh

UH OH CODE RED

INTERPOL INTERPOL.....

did you just admit you liked sunoo?? in a FOR REALS way?

UMMMMM

so like the only way you know how to deal with things, you avoid it!

you start to act really distant

and now whenever sunoo wraps his arms around you, you stiffen up

and sunoo like the angel he is pulls away so quickly bc ?? is his best friend upset? uncomfortable?

did HE make his best friend for life, his 4lifer, uncomfortable? omg this isn’t ok what is happening

everyone can tell something is up

ofc they can, what with you going to the extent of running away whenever you see sunoo and sunoo reacting like the entire light got blown out his life

and bffr sunoo may be innocent but he ISN'T dumb

he knows your schedule he KNOWS you’re ignoring him

and baby is upset

because lately you’ve been starting to feel a lot more to him

and now you’re just gone??

that’s not okay and sunoo isn’t just gonna sit around and be sad

if there’s something he can do he’s gonna do all he can to try to fix it!

he corners you one day and holds up an angry piece of paper

“excuse me but you broke rule number one which is, in case you forgot, don’t RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP”

“oh haha uh sunoo! hi uhh i gotta go 👉👉 ”

sunoo's face falls

and that was it

you just wanna hold his cheeks and tell him things are fine and that you love him

wait WHAT

but sunoo is still staring at you with that wounded look

like you’ve just ripped up his heart and torn it to shreds

bc that’s kinda what you’re doing

omg what’ve you done

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

“sunoo…”

his eyes lock onto yours so fast that you’re afraid he’s got whiplash

your mouth goes dry, and for a few moments it’s hard to talk

but you finally manage to tell him that “i don’t think we should fake date anymore.”

sunoo's face breaks

his eyes go wide, and it looks like he wants to stagger. and he almost does, just a little bit

“is it something i did?”

WHAT

this boy

kim sunoo is really gonna be the death of you

you’re shaking your head back and forth so fast because NO of course not of course this isn’t his fault

sunoo is Not Okay, and he looks so, so concerned for you. “because i swear i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. if i screwed up just tell me and i can fix it, [name], please”

you shake ur head, already starting to panic.  “of course not.  it’s not YOU sunoo. i just can’t fake date you because--”

you clamp your hands over your mouth

“because?” sunoo prompts, his voice careful

you just shake your head, already starting to turn and run back to somewhere, anywhere because this is stupid and you’re scared

terrified, actually

but sunoo just takes your hand and tugs you backward a bit, almost like a scene from a movie

you do that little twirl back and are face to face with the one and only

“do you … do you like me?” sunoo asks

that’s it

it’s out

you’re ready for your entire friendship with sunoo to come crashing down

“do you?” he repeats softly

you try to pull away but sunoo isn’t having it

he’s still holding onto your hand, gently, of course, and his eyes are boring into yours

you’re too scared to look because you’re afraid of what you’ll find

but when you can’t take it anymore and finally tilt your head up you realize something important

because his eyes aren’t full of disgust

in fact, that’s further from the truth

kim sunoo is staring at you with the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen and you’re confused as to how you’ve never seen this sooner

it’s almost like you’re his whole world, and now you can’t fucking breathe

is this real? chat is this fr rn??

your heart’s pounding in your chest so fast and there’s something bursting at your lungs

you nod faintly.  “yes. i like you”

the huge grin that spreads across sunoo's face is everything

he rushes forward to pull you into a gigantic hug, even lifting you up a little as he spins you around and lets out a little happy noise

“i’ve liked you forever, [name], i can’t believe this is real”

what

so u could’ve been dating sunoo before??

“you dork why didn’t you tell me?”

“because you didn’t like me like that!”

BITCH WHAT

“well maybe i was confused” you pipe back

sunoo just laughs, burying his head in your shoulder.  “i’m so happy right now.”

and honestly ?

so are you !!

[somethingnurseywoulddo]

Yeah I’m crying uncontrollably over the death of Alex Trebek, host of famous quiz show “Jeopardy!”. What about it?

[yandere-daze]

❄️send help it has been 120 pulls and sena didn’t come home.

EVEN WORSE KEITO CAME HOME TWICE AT 100th AND 115th PULL RESPECTIVELY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. SO WHAT KEITO. HHHH am i experiencing self aware au except none of my favs are self aware this is so sad HAHAHAHAH

i’ve decided to give up 😭 i’m also at 1K gems rn from my 10K??? i’m in so much pain i hope everyone else’s luck is doing okay…

Nooooo Izumi is bullying people again😭 I know that he´s trying to act like a tsundere to hide how crazily obsessed he is with you but 120 pulls is seriously too much! WE GET IT IZUMI, you tooootally don´t love the player to the point of stalking them if you had the chance! So please get over yourself and come home before Keito starts stealing your place😤

Man, I totally feel your pain of spending a lot of dias and then not getting who you want :/

[slightlymore]

This is random n I hope u don’t mind but How do I stop comparing myself to idols like I literally laugh n have sm fun watching their content then 5 mins later I’m calling myself an ugly bitch it gets so tiring it jus ruins my whole mood for the day 😔😔😔😭😭😭

it's not fair to compare your normal self with the best selves that idols can achieve. what you see on the screen is not a random person in pajamas on their bed, it's a person looking the best they can look. you cannot compare yourself now, maybe with bad hair, no makeup and no flattering clothes to idols on stages.

and maybe you'll say well, even when they're are in bed they look flawless. first of all they still manage their imagine well. we have never seen them 100 raw lmao. second of all, obviously idols are also naturally good looking than average but it's normal when they're legit hand picked. you're looking at the the best South Korea has to offer rn. but keep in mind that they try a lot too. they're constantly taking care of themselves, working out, doing skincare and going to expensive dermatologists. literally everyone does some type of work on their faces even if it's not as serious as plastic surgery. I'm talking shots for slimmer legs, hair extensions, temporary face lifts, stuff for idk armpits to look better (!!!) like,,,, lmaooo amirite

so, it's definitely nonsense being sad that you don't look like them. tbh if you had to go through all of that you'd also look amazing.

all of this being said, another point worth mentioning is that now you don't have to start crazily following in their steps to look like them because it's extreme and honestly not worth it at all

you look great just like you are now and only because you don't look 100% all the time like they do, it doesn't mean you don't look good

beauty is legit something you can't really grasp or have as you mean it because you'll always feel like you're not enough. there are idols that think they're ugly as fuck and so many are very insecure?????? when in reality they look so good but they don't see it

this all to say that we all think we're ugly and not enough when in reality it's absolutely not true at all and comparing ourselves like this just adds to the general wrong idea that we must look a certain way to be considered beautiful

[melxncholymermxid]

I know I haven't been on here much at all, and I couldn't tell you the last mutual I talked to, but I really need to vent. Anyone who has anything to add/say please dm me, I feel like I have no one atm.

So, Its been over a year since I moved out of my mom's house and drove 12~ hours to live with my nana.

I love my grandmother very much, but that nagging part of my brain keeps telling me that she's eventually gonna hate me like my mom used to.

I've visited my mom 3 times sinced I've moved out. To see how she and my siblings were. They moved to a new house down there, which she also can't afford. From last October until recently, she had been out of work. My step dad was overbearing and abusive and left months ago. I was unaware of how he was until after he was gone, and the damage was already done. My mom is an alcoholic and drug addict. On my latest visit she was drunk the entire extended weekend. Like drinking at 930 in the morning Level. My younger sister (17) is also a drug addict and I worry about her constantly. Her and my mom's relationship is worse than mine and they got into a physical altercation the day I had to leave. I drove my sister to her friends house. Last night she called and asked for help to look for places to live. I have no idea how to help her from states and hours away, and she doesn't even know what she needs help with exactly, but she knows she can't stay with her friend forever.

Neither of my brothers have any stability in their life. They do what they want when they want and my mom really couldn't give two fucks. She got upset that me and my sister forgot to "feed" our brother. He's 12 and the other ones 14, one of them should have been able to cook. I understand that one has autism, but that doesn't mean to baby him because he's the youngest, which means one day he's gonna be all alone. She's upset that he hasn't been making progress, but how can he make progress when you treat him like a baby.

---Aside from family bs---

I've been at the same job for almost a year, it's union, I know the people and I'm comfortable here, but with the covid-19 stuff going on rn, hours have been cut crazily. I'm lucky as hell to still be in a job, but a part of me feels like I'm 21, never been to college so therefore I'm stuck here. I have no goals, no 5 year plan, no dreams.

Socially I have little to nothing. It's hard to work and plan for a future you know is going to be just as sad and lonely. Among work friends who love to roast and jokingly make fun of each other, I'm the sad lonely one, the 21 year old virgin, the person who "likes guys and girl but can't get with either" and I'm so tired of being made fun of.

The two friends I have irl rn are my best friend and her boyfriend, who I'm also good friends with. They also work at my job. They're moving out of state soon and while I know I'm going to miss them like crazy, the part of my brain that just wants to protect me says to stop hanging out with them. and maybe if I find some way to make them hate me, it won't hurt too much when they move. And for the past few months (I have no idea when it started) I realized that I had feelings for her. Then suddenly one day I realized it was also feelings for him. And everytime I hang out with them I feel like a bad friend for not telling them. But I know if I tell them, there's no positive outcome. Either they're uncomfortable or their angry and I know I can't except either so I'm just trying to shut up but I still feel like a bad friend.

So in the end there's no winning. There's just bad outcomes and worse outcomes.

If you read this far thank you, I can't even bring myself to reread this so I hope it's readable.