#i’m not mad at ppl posting spoilers!! i mad that some ppl aren’t even spoilering them

[leakedtank]

i really hope ppl will keep putting spoilers for part 2 stuff until october 😭 yk THE ACTUAL RELEASE DATE ⁉️⁉️

PEACOCK WHEN I CATCH YOU, WHEN I CATCH YOU PEACOCK.

[ameliatheamazing]

I watched the a:tla live action and because I used to be the Posting My Thoughts On Avatar blog, I'm gonna share the lil reviews I wrote after watching each episode. spoilers ahead!

1- aang:

ok so far it’s actually really good! The actors are amazing, especially aang and zuko, but like everyone actually. They are kids. And that’s like the most important thing. (i just hope they’re still kids by the end of the series lol). The visuals are BEAUTIFUL, the lighting and color grading is really good, the effects are great, the costumes are amazing- it’s all really faithful to the show. And it’s so exciting too bc i know it so i’m like so hyped every time something new that i recognize comes along. So overall i’m enjoying it. The main thing is it’s pretty tonally different, like bc it’s a limited series they’re focusing more on the war aspect of it all and cut a lot of the filler. Which makes sense i guess but like.. I do hope they let these kids be kids! Like please let aang goof off and show katara and sokka that it’s ok to take a break and have fun as well. I feel like that’s a really important aspect of his character so we shouldn’t cut all the filler. Please. We’ll see. (i had this exact problem with the pjo series too.. feel like i’m getting deja vu)

2- warriors:

Episode 2! Was really good! They took out sokka’s sexism which ppl were mad about but i honestly really liked what they did instead, how he connected to suki through them both being leaders of their villages. He still underestimated her and she still taught him to fight (he just wasn’t wearing makeup. tragic) and i LOVED every scene they had together! I was like kicking my feet it was so cute. Kyoshi came in and was so OP. I think it’s weird that they started going to the north because of some omen and not because aang needs to learn waterbending?? Like what’s the reason for that. so many of the decisions made here just seem to be trying to move the story along as fast as possible. But there are still good character moments and it’s enjoyable.

I love zuko. I already did so i am biased but his actor is amazing he really has that anger but also like, a clear softness beneath that. (my only problem is his scar isn’t quite as nasty as the animated version. Like from far away you can’t even really see it, i feel like it should be bigger.) I’m still not sure about iroh’s actor he’s pretty different from the animated version and i just feel like no one can live up to the original, but his character is similar to the one we know and love. azula and ozai made an appearance which is wayy sooner than in the og lol. but both of their actors seem great i’m excited to see more of them.

3- omashu:

ok we knocked out a few major s1 episodes, with jet and the mechanist from the northern air temple being featured. neither of them were from omashu originally but combining them here actually worked out ok. i loved danny pudi as the mechanist obviously. they weren’t living in the air temple though which took out a pretty big struggle for aang, where he had to come to terms with other people living on the air nomads’ land. but they can’t include every detail and like i said, having them in omashu worked just fine. idk how i feel about the jet plot, it seemed pretty similar to the original episode it just had less focus so it was like weirdly paced i felt like. most important thing was we saw cabbage guy!! even in live action his cabbages aren’t safe

4- into the dark:

why did they have bumi like, literally try to kill aang? in the show they revealed he was bumi at the very end and he was like haha it’s me your friend! i was testing your strength or whatever. here, they had him be mad at aang for not being there during the war! like oh my god?? in the original series, not everything was about the war. you even forgot it was happening at times. here, they don’t let you forget.

so glad they included secret tunnel. also oma and shu were lesbians we love to see it. but it was so strange that the badger moles like… responded to love? what?? that’s not a thing. in the original cave of two lovers episode i remember katara thought love would be the answer at first, but then was proven wrong and the crystals actually just guided them because it was dark. but in this one, she was right and sokka looked like an idiot for not believing her?? ok. i am kinda glad they took out the kataang stuff, i don’t think we need it this early on.

i liked zuko and iroh’s plot, especially the addition that the guy who captured iroh had a personal trauma from iroh’s ba sing se attack. this show has so much depth and nuance rather than just having good guys and bad guys and this was a great way of showing that.

5- spirited away:

idk what to think of this one. it was kind of an all over the place infodump. they clearly used this one as a way to put in a lot of stuff they weren’t gonna cover otherwise, like sokka’s trial thing. it didn't flow together very well. but i still enjoyed it i guess. we met a bunch of spirits that normally don’t show up until later like koh, wan shi tong, and the fox that i’m pretty sure was yue. interesting choices. ok and why the fuck did they have june flirt with iroh?? bc in the og series he makes comments towards her that are a bit gross. and instead of taking that out altogether, they reversed it?? what the fuck? that’s not better. i think my favorite part of this episode was gyatso telling aang it wasn’t his fault. he needed to hear that.

i’m starting to get pretty annoyed that aang hasn’t learned waterbending AT ALL? by this point he had been practicing with katara quite a bit! like we are way behind on the mastering elements thing when that was literally their top priority in the main series.

6-masks:

that was actually amazing. pretty spot on 1 to 1 of the blue spirit episode, at least the second half. except at the end aang and zuko talked a lot more, they’re really pushing zuko towards that redemption more than in the original. zuko’s backstory also had a lot added to it which i really liked. ozai’s characterization is so interesting, he has a little more depth (we’re just seeing more of him rly) but he ofc is still the worst human being ever in the world. but the actor who plays him is so good and we're really seeing why he makes the decisions he does. the agni kai was more drawn out which made it even worse, and we saw the actual moment of zuko’s banishment which was also extremely painful to watch! :D when he was crying in his bed ugh i couldn’t take it. and i love the detail that the soldiers he wanted to save were assigned to be his crew, which led them to respect him more once they heard his story. i loved that.

they really dumbed down commander zhao in this, i watched the original episode again and he was so much more threatening. idk why they gave that asswipe more comedic relief than aang. let aang be silly!! i’m also craving more appa in this show.

7- the north:

this was pretty much just an expanded version of the waterbending master episode. (although aang is STILL not learning waterbending?) the katara vs pakku fight was amazing and really accurate to the original scene, which was one of my favorite fight scenes so i’m glad for that. although they took out the whole thing with pakku noticing katara’s necklace but that’s fine tbh. but yeah she had her girl power moment! slay. yue is amazing and her and sokka’s interactions are so great! although i wish sokka and suki hadn’t actually kissed in episode 2, bc i feel like it took away from the importance of his and yue’s relationship! like she was his first kiss in the series and now she’s not. she’s not even necessarily his “first girlfriend.” so yeah weird choices all around. i also found it interesting that she dumped hahn and was not even betrothed to him. and he was way less of an asshole so it's not even clear why she did that. i guess trying to give her more agency? but like it doesn't make sense.

8- legends:

this one was good, again pretty accurate to the season 1 finale. the fight scenes were really drawn out to the point where it felt like they were just padding time lol, but aang’s avatar state fish suit thing looked really cool. i don’t remember if aang’s conflict here was in the original but i don’t think it was? where he’s like “i have to bear the burden of being the avatar alone” i remember him struggling with that in season 3 but not s1. idk how i feel about that. I love that katara got her moment and got to not only fight but be a leader! also momo like, sacrificed himself to save someone but it fell pretty flat bc if you're just watching this new series, you would barely care about momo. he's like not in this at all. zuko was the highlight once again. i just love him. i think that's all i have to say? again, pretty much the same story as the original.

TLDR i didnt hate this series, most of my problems with it just came from the fact that it's a live action remake and i hate those as a concept. as a fan of og avatar it was really enjoyable! I didn't like the shift in tone very much but I knew it was coming. (i'm probably gonna rewatch the og series as a palette cleanser lol). The cast and overall visuals were great and the story, although condensed, was fairly accurate. I'm excited to see how they do s2 but i'm not like super invested and my hopes are still not that high.

[nose-bl]

heartstopper (comic) spoilers

i’ve seen many people talking about how great it is that heartstopper (tv) focuses on romantic attraction, that there is no sex scenes, no sexual content or mentions of sex, etc. and i do love that the show is family friendly and that there aren’t any sex scenes and that they take things slowly, it’s definitely something i appreacite a lot

however, i need people to remember that in the comic (which is much much far ahead in the story) nick and charlie do talk about sex, they’re starting to talk about it, prepare themselves, etc. i know there’s not going to be any explicit scenes in the comic (alice said so themself) and obviously not in the show either, but i do hope ppl respect that storyline when it comes to the show later on. it’s not going to be graphic at all, it’s all just talk and implied things, but i just know many people will be angry at the fact that sex is an important part of the story

i completely understand sex-repulsed people and asexual people who might not like it when sex is an important part of a story, i completely understand that and i’m not saying you have to enjoy or even watch that part of the story. this post isn’t directed at ace and sex-repulsed folk, and any person is obviously free to skip any parts they’re uncomfortable with

i just don’t want people saying that the story is ruined and bad as soon they start talking about sex, i don’t want people to say that it is completely unnecesary to mention sex and to add it to the story, i don’t want to see people saying that it’s gross that nick and charlie are “doing something mature”, saying “they’re too innocent for that”. some people already are mad about the fact that in nick and charlie, the novel, the two have sex.........they’re a couple, why do people find it weird??

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[hamsterrivals]

ok, so.

I made a youtube video, of me narrating Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I was wondering for awhile if it would be ok to upload a video that’s just directly an anime episode of Ashita no Joe.

I thought partly, maybe it would be ok, since that anime came out like before 1970 or something so maybe it’s free domain,

but nah. It is blocked. I can’t find the video at all.

but, that isn’t going to stop me..

I will do the impossible, (even though I am depressed, about someone I know. irl)

and narrate Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I made a whole video of me narrating it with my voice. but it’s blocked aaaa. I refuse to let it go, though.

giga..drill...breakeriswhat I’d say but I am too depressed about someone I know irl.

Ok so anyways, this was gonna be a YouTube video, especially cuz-- [had to delete the explanation] anyways here:

[deleted stuff.....] ...

anyways here:

oh shizzat its 4am I’m fluffin’ tired. so I’m just gonna skim the episode and post screenshots argh my foot is pulsating as I type that as if my entire body is thinking “wow I know you re-watched Ashita no Joe episodes again yesterday but you should watch the whole episode again its godly” I’m sorry ewotjwte its just almost 4am and I had to wake up at 10am yesterday.

the opening plays. and then:

that one guy that is like my dad reads about my stuff

Jebus freakin’ RICE I’m tired. But I need to do something productive today cuz after I woke up at 10am for my social worker I was tired and drained all day from hearing the voices of the people upstairs and the noise in the wall.

my dad I mean Danpai keeps reading the newspaper (like how in -- gah nevermind [deleted cuz I’m paranoid about what [NEVERMIND deleted the explanation]] and

my freakin’ dad I mean Danpai gets mad at Joe just like

I DELETED [can’t say] like 8 years ago cuz of that time when I [=/ Can’t say the details]

GOSH DARN IT this is just like something irl and I can’t even say what it is because I’m too paranoid about people [deleted explanation here]

ok so basically Joe is super successful and doing good things in this world but no one believes him cuz his stupid azz danpai adopted dad figure is a dumb bummie, and then

and then I wanna explain 99 lines but we’re not even 2 minutes into the episode, so I guess I have to skip some parts; I mean it is 4am after all

and then

ok so there’s this snobby lady (at the time ? perhaps she changes at the very very very very end but I won’t give any spoilers about how the very final episode goes itjewiot btw I literally watched this anime starting from the very last episode cuz someone said this series has best ending in anime/manga of all time, and then I started back at early episodes after that, when I first watched this however years ago,)

and then

yes we printed this article cuz .. you’re trustworthy and popular but Joe is just an unpopular guy who helps out orphans and gives his money away to help out orphans

ya know how when I watched the first 11 episode with [won’t say but the guy that begins with Sau and ends with ce that I was friends with for 15 years and he kept making fun of it multiple times in the chat saying “More like a shit a joe.”] well these guys are like wow Joe is a delinquent cuz he is helping out orphans

wow Yabuki Joe used an alt account or some shiz and made a complete lie to try to help society for the better like making a peaceful game and then I mean boxing I mean waterver and then

no one believes ni the main character Joe who is LITERALLY helping out local orphans; and they’re basically like just jealous of him and twisting the truth to make him look bad is what these snobby popular people are doing t hat actually have friends unlike the wondering loner Joe Yabuki,

this very popular snobby lady who actually has friends unlike ab- Yabuki Joe doesn’t care that Joe is actually being helpful and wants to make projects that will bring peace to this world, she will not give him a chance because she cares more about appearances and keeping up her reputation.

....She takes on the full pressure and responsibilty. But can she handle it?

they’re basically like “uhhh do you have [deleted in case it comes off as offensive, since I know some others that make fun of that stuff >=\ which I don’t like either cuz I get made fun of [the deleted thing] too . It shouldn’t even have to be deleted >=\ but I was in a [DELETED] and they made fun of [the deleted thing] so I guess it has to be [deleted] which is so sad for this world ??] and so

the really cool person who *doesn’t reveal spoilers of the end of the series aa* says please leave Train- Yabuki Joe to me !!

i have faith in him he totally will not somehow break this faith that I vaguely have in him and am kinda too shy to publicly admit..

I wonder what Joe is feeling like right now and doing:

s o anyways Joe keeps laughing 99 times in this episode, and, cuz he knows he’s right and just helping out orphans and people that aren’t popular and too afraid to join the b- never mind.

some of his followers don’t respond to his long rants and are like maybe he is going too far and should back down fro mthe very popular snobby lady

Yabuki Joe laughs again

he says What’s the matter with you!? Stop siding with the very popular lady that actually has friends and a good reputation who is a stuck up and like do what is right instead of what . will make people think better of you even if you know in your hear that maybe it might be wrong.

The snobby lady posted on Twit- I mean irl the anime known as Ashita no Joe the they posted a screenshot of me saying “I have family.....” and they mocked him saying “Um.... I have family too....?” as her followers mocked Yabuki Joe on twitter in the 1970s anime or something,

but family isn’t what matters, everyone has family,

what matters is that you all still have a poor reputation because you have no friends which I think is 100% ok but the stuck-up lady who hates Joe for some reason atm just cares about how they’re rich in [deleted snarky remarks] reputation.

stop caring about the dislikes and haters and appreciate the supporters that you do have;;.

yabuki Joe says F THE HATERS THIS IS Just the beginning of [would say but I wanna here but X_X; [deleted the reason why I won’t] because of [deleted] because of [deleted]]

,y gpa; s 1 million followers cuz then they at least know what is right

in this world.

and then joe is like

and then;

then he’s like yea in my heart I know its good to have that many followers cuz I know the true true truth about Yabuki Joe the anime and manga character from Ashita no Joe, he just wants that many followers to program an indie game about- I mean anyways

they say

[OK WHAT THEH ECK I SERIOUSLY DID RECORD A VIDEO OF ME JUST NARRATING THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AND I uploaded it yesterday on a video sharing site but it is blocked cuz of copyrighted content aaa even though this was from before  1970 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I gotta explain in text instead of voice like I already did last night AAAAAAAAAAaa]

they say But what would you do with that much power, that many internet I mean irl followers in 197o in Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series?

and then Yabuki Joe says teh

then he’s like What the gosh darn shiz in yoshville mans,

and then

and they’re like Look Yabuki Joe lives in a Terrible place with Terrible living conditions wher e brick dust keeps falling down and then

and like Joe has no problems like getting kawaii innocent ppl to follow him, but the others are a bit suspicious.. of Joe and his behavior..

Joe is like i’m gonna build a huge online hamster game soon.

and then someone tells Abu in tumblr messages I mean they tell

Someone tells Yabuki Joe as you can see if you flippin’ watch the episode yourself (I don’t blame you. I hope someone will check this series out, though. It’s my favorite anime series, to be honest.) anyways and then someone from his fandom of - anyways someone says

He’s so full of himself.

I guess you suffer from delusions of grandeur?

the bully who is even in the same exact fandom as ab- Yabuki Joe of being an orphan says that, and because they’re so big inside, people blindly listen to them.

the true actual innocent follower that knows trainerab- Yabuki Joe is actually honest and truthful is like, wow shut the fak up brah, and then:

Then the “Are you sure you don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur?” doubtful follower who is keeping an eye on Ab-Yabuki Joe I mean and watching over him to try to keep the orphanage safe falsely then says “This is a clown. See this clown? Abu is hiring th I mean Yabuki Joe had this younger person defend him” Wow and then

one of the only innocent ppl in this show besides Yabuki Joe and a bunch of later characters in this series in later episodes that happen soon, know Joe really is telling the truth and that he really is honest and she’s pizzed awf at that hater troll person trying to Provoke joe and such on [deleted] anime & manga series Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series, and then

then they’re like, uh oh maybe Joe does have some loyal followers who know the real truth and we should hold our distance and see what he does and what he is truly like, first, and then

so, then

so then Yabuki Joe shows them their steam profile and the gam I mean the BY- I mean

Joe is like ok I played retro games my whole life and watched cool cartoons like the Rugrats and I play cool games and twisted trolls like the snobby girl try to make it look like I “change my interests to appease others” but come into my YouTube channel office and c the truth that I really DID play a lot of SNES games and then

I mean Yabuki Joe says this is my office and this is where I live,

I live in a factory that rains brick dust,

and then,

AND THEN I WANNA NARRATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE BUT IT IS FREAKIN’ 4:35am and I gotta get up soon

I mean I flippin’ already narrated this entire episode and commented on it etc. and made a cool video of it but YouTube blocked it AAAAAAAA even tho it was an anime made in

1970 I thought it would be free domain by now and o.k. to upload a video of it to YouTube with audio commentary GOSH AAAaaaa GOSH I WANNA NARRATE THE WHOLE EPISODE

AS I SAID IN THE youtube video that is blocked on YouTube I think it is a requirement cuz like it really pejeroyjoirjyorejijioe

ok have a nice night.

[badluckbee]

the last of us part 2 opinions that no one asked for but i need to get out of my system !!SPOILERS!!

i literally don’t give a shit if the story is for you or not, art is subjective. BUT i think that there are some fundamental misunderstandings about what makes a good game or not?? idk you’re welcome to disagree but people are throwing around a lot of “i didn’t like it, therefore it is bad” ideas & it’s not sitting right with me. there’s gonna be spoilers in this post you’ve been warned.

i loved this game. it challenged me and even though it has its issues, it was still really good it still made me think and feel things so some of these reviews have seriously made me go ??!??!?!?!??

if you didn’t like tlou2 and want to argue with people that did like it about how bad a game it is i’m not going to do that,, you can go play the first game again i’m not stopping you from not liking and not playing this game. this is simply my perception of the game and the most common criticisms i’ve seen.

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if the only reason you don’t like the game is because boohoo they killed my favourite character,, literally as someone who has had the majority of my favourite characters die, they didn’t disrespect joel by killing him & ppl being THIS babyish about it & calling for them to rewrite the whole story is immature and embarrassing as fuck. that’s my biggest problem with the “fanbase” right now, we all knew that joel did a bad thing in saving ellie and we know that he’s done a ton of bad things before that, remember “we’re shitty people, joel, it’s been that way for a long time”?? tess wasn’t wrong, it makes sense that someone someday would come back for him and they did. if that’s what you’re mad about lol get a grip it’s not like we don’t see him throughout the whole game. (also i thought we all knew he was gonna die from the first trailer anyway) (also also did you guys not pick up on it when there was a song where the first line was “if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself” they laid out the whole game for you right there lmao)

things i’ve seen in reviews repeatedly that didn’t sit right:

1) joel and tommy wouldn’t have trusted abby.

joel and tommy have been living in a close knit community for four years with friends and family, there’s already a false sense of security. as far as they know, this is just a group passing through, they had no reason at all to believe that there was any malicious intent after not only saving abby but abby returning the favour and helping them out. they’ve never met them before, up until ‘the moment’ they’re very nice and welcoming, they also needed abby to trust them if they were all going to get out of that mess of infected alive. (ppl also forget that in the first game joel was, although hesitant, still perfectly willing to trust and travel with people, including henry and sam, who were kids just like this group so don’t play the ‘first game’ card)

2) ellie should have killed abby.

you’re seriously trying to tell me that killing abby would magically cure ellie of her ptsd??? if you weren’t blinded by your love of joel you’d know that’s not true lol literally the point is that killing her wouldn’t bring joel back it would only leave lev alone and vulnerable like ellie was and the meaningless violence would continue. literally none of the killing the characters did in this game made them feel remotely better, that’s the point. abby moved on from her pain by finding lev and looking after him, not by killing joel, just like ellie needs to begin to heal, not kill abby. if you wanted that fight to have a choice of whether you could kill abby or not i could POSSIBLY accept that but i would absolutely choose to spare abby every time. that last fight didn’t feel right anyway imo, i wanted to let her go before they even started.

3) ellie should have ended up with dina.

this game is shouting at your face that your actions have consequences!! no other ending made sense, if ellie killed abby and went back to find dina & jj still at the farm waiting for her there would be no lesson learned and no character growth!!

3) you shouldn’t have played as abby.

this is a grey one to me, i absolutely think you should play as abby but i think that the order was a little off, no one would be rooting for her over ellie after she killed a favourite character but if you have an open mind abby’s section of the game is really really fun and has some of the best moments in the game. i have some thoughts about what i personally think would have been super cool and i’m going to put it at the end of this post on the off chance that someone reads it but i totally get why they did it the way they did and it worked very well from abby’s day 2 onwards!!

4) it’s too violent?????

tell me what i’m missing here??? nd was as transparent as possible that this is a violent game centred around revenge and hatred that would feature brutal violence, smart ai and devastating cutscenes. yet there are people complaining that the game is too violent WHILE describing how bad they want to fuck up abby???? i understand not enjoying the violence, i wasn’t too bothered bc i’m pretty desensitised & i use way more stealth anyway but there were moments when it didn’t feel right & that’s okay?? that’s what they warned us about???

5) it’s just pushing an agenda, it’s too sjw.

people exist that are not male, white, straight and cis. stop crying about it.

i know no one will read this but i had a thought about a way to order the story to connect more with abby & needed to put it somewhere:

ok imagine for a minute if they had marketed it as a spinoff not a new game with new characters & no ellie or joel. you start as abby from her first day in seattle, forget everything before that for now!! imagine playing from there through to day 3 as normal, there are some very vague references to her dad dying and to her finally finding the killer but nothing that’s a giveaway for who her dad was or what happened in jackson. then we get to day 3 and that sniper scene (which was fuckin spectacular btw) and we see that it’s tommy there and it’s like ??!??!?!?!!??!? but we have to let it go for now to move the story on until we get to the theatre and we see eLLIE ?!???!??!?!!?!!?!!!!? and that’s where it cuts off and we go back and play as ellie and we see what abby did

i’m not a writer and i know that there would be problems with doing it that way but wouldn’t it be such a plot twist if we had been playing as abby from the start and connected with her and her friends more before finding out that ellie and tommy are even in the game never mind on their way to kill us??? i get why they didn’t do that though lol no one would have played it.

anyway this post isn’t attacking people for not liking the game or thinking that there are issues, this post is specifically about the people that claim that it’s objectively a bad game because they personally don’t like it.

here are some fuckin good awe-worthy moments that people are conveniently forgetting about:

- this is personal but tommy is one of, if not my favourite character, at least to me he’s one of the most interesting so seeing jeffrey pierce get more screentime was a big win for me!!

- jesse, yara and lev are DELIGHTFUL i love them v v much

- the museum i cried so much it’s so cute

- the acting!!?!?!?? especially ashley, the scene where ellie forced the truth out of joel is my favourite scene in either game acting-wise it BROKE me

- i said it before but the sniper scene was incredible

- the rat king!!! i'm a wimp it was so scary but man that reveal was fantastic

- abby’s fear of heights,, HELLO that scene on the bridges!!! i’m not scared of heights but it really got me

- the hotel!! how does nd manage to make hotels so scary

- the switch between playable characters was a plot twist and a half!!!! i gasped it was so unexpected i loved it!!!

- actually showing that the characters aren’t invincible and struggle with what they’ve been through,, showing ellie’s ptsd was so important!!!!

- ok idk why but the scene in the first game with david in the restaurant makes me so nervous every time,, i start shaking and sometimes i cry when i finish it bc that’s the definition of horror to me i HATE it it’s too scary. so when i got to that parallel with ellie and abby at the theatre and ellie was ‘the david’ of that encounter i had to sit and think about it for a long time, that scene shook me and i love nd for doing that!!

there’s probably more but this is already the longest post i’ve ever made & i’m tired (i’m not the best at getting my points across as well so if there’s anything that’s worded weirdly that’s on me)

[silver-wield]

I absolutely can't get enough of you analysis and I was wondering if you could do one of cloud and tifa after the plate fell and after barret hugged tifa? when sephiroth visits cloud again. like how'd that have been from tifa's perspective too?

Sorry this took a while to get to, Nonny. I would've had it done yesterday, but instead I wasted my time banging my head against a brick wall. Lesson learned lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Recap time!

The sky has fallen and our brave failures have escaped by the skin of their teeth! Cloud watches over Tifa until she wakes up, then follows her until they locate Barret.

AH MY HEART! Cloud's so adorably concerned for Tifa. (also far too goddamn pretty! Someone shove mud in his face or something I can't stand it!)

Who knows how long he's been waiting for her to wake up. There's a couple of times it looks like he wants to reach for her – there's a definite twitch in her direction with his left hand – and then as she goes to get up, he takes her hand to her help her. Someone remind me, how often does Cloud offer Tifa his hand? A lot? Yeah, that's what I thought.

It's a very demoralised journey through the rubble to find Barret.

Well, I was aiming for a screen showing him punching the wall, but this is better. His rage and grief burst out. He's punching the wall with his actual hand and not shooting at it with the gun. This is because he wants to feel physical pain to dull the stronger emotional pain. Those were his friends. He should've stopped it. You can hear him sob Marlene's name once that rage is spent. He thinks they're all dead, including his innocent little girl. It's a powerful moment for his character.

Here's a hint of a grief stricken Cloud too. He cared about the trio. He wanted to save them. Nobody had to offer payment for his services. He tried to be the hero and failed. He doesn't know how to handle these emotions or how to comfort anyone either.

Tifa blaming herself is typical for her character. She puts a lot on her shoulders and keeps her feelings locked up tight. She sees the situation from the pov that if they hadn't blown up the reactors then Shinra wouldn't have dropped the plate. Barret sees it as, if Shinra weren't destroying the planet then they wouldn't need to blow up reactors. It's a pointless back and forth, round and round with no true winner. They have different povs, morals and principles and that's why Tifa just agrees with him in the end. Why argue on top of everything else that's just happened?

Tifa is very much the peacemaker, who doesn't want people to get into unnecessary fights. She'd rather back down than fight if there's a possibility of another choice. She says this in chapter 3 with her “I know we have to make a difference, but not like this.” And to the Shinra manager she says “I don't want anyone to die”

She's a goddamn sweetheart who can pack a punch, but doesn't need to rely on her fists first.

This is why later on with Elmyra, she stops Cloud from arguing to go get Aerith. It's not that she doesn't care. It's that she doesn't see the point in forcing your opinion on someone. By giving Elmyra time to think through their side of things she's letting the situation settle and everyone can approach it calmly and rationally. Which is exactly what happens. Elmyra had time to think and agreed with them. Because of Tifa. Because she’s the mature one.

The real!Cloud hand twitch lol we know what this means and I think I've already mentioned is plenty of times in other analyses.

Barret and Tifa's body language here is very placid, not romantic in any sense of the word. Her body is turned to the side and he has one arm around her shoulder. He's not got his head tilted down towards her and hers isn't tilted up at him either. Her arms are by her sides. This is minimum contact and barely qualifies as a hug. It's perfunctory comfort between friends. What it does is motivate Cloud – who harbours romantic feelings – towards the urge to comfort Tifa in the same way. He wants her to rely and find solace with him. Because his feelings are driven by romantic urges the way he comforts her is different.

And we're on our way to Aerith's house, where Cloud suspects Marlene is. Barret's highly emotional – shocker – and begs Cloud for hope, then admits it doesn't matter what he says he'd get mad. Cloud accepts this with a bland face, what else is there to say? He can't admit he might be wrong, but he can't say with all certainty that he's right.

He asks Tifa about the Ancients and then we get a visit from Sephiroth.

So after we see a future flashback of OG Sephiroth talking about the Ancients like before, Cloud gives us a blurry 1st person view and pan up of Sephiroth. Now, this one is a vision that only he sees, but that really doesn't matter to him. He sees that creepy ex-boyfriend stalker smile and freaks tf out. You can hear him whimper.

So, we don't get much of the scene from Tifa's pov. She's noticed Cloud freeze, probably heard that whimper. She's definitely concerned – you can see her frown just before we move back to Cloud – but she's unsure what to do about it. She's not a doctor after all. She has no idea if the right thing to do is insist on talking to Cloud about it, or pretend it didn't happen. She has to take his lead, which is to forget about it.

“Through suffering you will grow strong. Isn't that what you want?”

Cloud's a sweaty mess of fear at this minute, but you can still see this question on his face and his answer that no he doesn't want to suffer. The part of him that's real!Cloud definitely doesn't want to suffer, but it's too scared to do anything.

I find the possibility of this being a different aspect of Cloud's personality interesting. It's a vision, after all. So while we have real!Cloud in chapter 8 trying to encourage himself and repair the broken parts, we have this Sephiroth aspect that wants Cloud to remain broken and afraid. It's a good metaphor for how Cloud tackles his mental illness, and of the 4 different Sephiroths, the hallucination is the one that speaks the most and talks about Cloud as a person. It's the one that tells him to run away in chapter 2. It's the one that calls him a failure. It's the one that murders Tifa.

It's a manifestation of his mental illness. Not totally because there's more happening than just that, but of the 4 Sephiroths we see, this one is the one that causes Cloud to freeze the most. This one is the one he's terrified of more than the rest. The one that's not actually there.

I had to choose between this and Cloud looking terrified, but this one has Tifa edging into the frame with a concerned look on her face. Cloud's lost in his own head, probably overthinking everything Sephiroth just said to him. He dismisses Tifa again – remember, he doesn't want her to have a bad opinion of him, so he's pretending to be ok as usual. A lot of his reluctance to confide in her is his fear of her being disappointed in him. A lot of Tifa’s reluctance comes down to the aforementioned need to avoid confrontation. She doesn’t want to fight. If Cloud refuses to talk, she’ll respect that. She’s not pushy.

Conclusion.

Tifa and Barret have known each other for 5 years, give or take, but Barret doesn't even know the story of Nibelheim because Tifa keeps emotional things to herself. The way she's struggling to contain herself is mistaken by him as anger. It's not anger. It's self-blame. And because Cloud understands Tifa better than Barret – despite them having been apart for years – his real self has the urge to comfort her. He doesn't know how because he lacks social skills and emotional maturity, but after seeing Barret's example he understands this is the way he wants to support her.

I just added my suspicions about this version of Sephiroth to another post, so to sum that up, I think most of what he says is induced by Cloud's own feelings of failure and fear. The times Sephiroth shows up can be attributed to the connection Cloud has through Jenova, but the content of Sephiroth's speech comes across more like it's Cloud's inner self dragging him down. Sephiroth is the darkness within Cloud – the representation of his mental illness that won't ever become a memory, that's something he has to fight against every day. The fractured parts of Cloud's psyche aren't strong enough on their own, which is why the one in chapter 8 was chased away. It's only once they're reunited because of Tifa that Cloud becomes stronger overall to fight against his inner demons.

[satchaccuss]

SWJFO sure FEELS short at least.

This, like much of everything else I spew, is a rant. Sry.

Oh and there will be spoilers ahead for the game, so: sry.

Finished Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order yesterday (2019-12-01) and am now in the regular post-playthrough depression that always hits when finishing a game with no replay-value. Ooooh! Yeah I know some are gonna be mad at that, but it’s MY truth! The fact that the game doesn’t even have a new game or new game plus mode really drags. I bought it 2019-11-18, but because I was busy it wasn’t fully downloaded until 2019-11-22 and then I didn’t start playing until the next day and let’s say I then played maybe 3 hrs per day, let’s say everyday...then the game is around the 25 hrs mark, however: did I feel like it was time well spent? No. Did I feel satisfied with the ending? No.

Did I want to keep playing? For no reason? F*ck No! I mean I already got every secret and collectible before the final mission, so there is literally no reason to keep playing! This is the reason why dark souls has new game and new game plus modes, there is nothing to explore and do if you have already done it all! But if you get to play the game again, while keeping all outfits and weapons: you get some damn fine looking shots of your character looking awesome during boring-ass scenes you’ve already seen before! Honestly, the story was kind of meh in the end and the outfits were too few and the ponchos didn’t make any sense and the fact you don’t get to customize the colour of “you know what” until basically the end of the game just sucked all in all! Why wouldn’t you implement a “new game” mode in a game like this?! (I’m pretty sure the first one is just called “new game” and then the one after that is called “new game plus”, I think that was how dark souls did it at least, I can’t speak for the other games in the series tho it could have changed).

Seeing Cal wearing the outfit I chose and using the lightsaber I customized throughout the entire games cutscenes would be a much needed alleviation of a moderately boring story honestly... (But why can’t I change Cere’s saber piece on the other side?! I had to pick her piece for the other side too to make it look cohesive, and I didn’t like that, I didn’t want that, but it looks dumb otherwise!)

Yeah yeah, it isn’t as short as a usual indie-title, but it isn’t a Fallout game for sure, I mean I am still playing Fallout 4 every now and then because of all the shit you can do and all the different perks that can change your playstyle too... and because you can customize your character to look how you want and say kind of what you want and have it kind of matter and... *sigh*. 

Why is this Star Wars game so good but so bad at the same time?

I liked that you could change the buttons... I didn’t like that you couldn’t re-bind all things to new buttons. I mean having the shoulder button be block/parry only works in dark souls where the shield actually felt like it was there and oh it’s hard to explain, but it didn’t work for me in this game, so I re-bound it to the B-button and made dodge the Y-button. However, I didn’t know that the game f*cked itself and took away the “drop ledge”-button as well when I changed B. Luckily I, through my massive brain’s incredible problem-solving skills, managed to figure out I could manually re-bind the drop-button to my dodge-button (Y). I did google it first tho and got no useful information: instead I got a f*ck-ton of same-y sounding whining about pc-keybindings, which, for a console-user like myself: is f*cking useless! Apparently not a single other soul had had my issue! In the end, like I said, I figured it out, but still: The fact that the game didn’t warn me that I had consequently un-bound another command as well when changing the dodge-button was really shitty. Oh well. ...the game making X and B (because of my changed buttons no doubt, but still), the way to do double saber attacks was f*cking hilariously dumb tho and the fact that I couldn’t change that attack to other buttons really irked me let me tell you! I had to release the camera and steer sticks both during the fight that the game wants you to do it to push both X and B at the same time to perform the stupid attack! I literally could never do it again after because it was a hassle to let go of the left stick to awkwardly hold the controller somehow and push X and B down at the same time, my word! A useless attack since I could never do it smoothly. Not really the games fault, but still. Anyway...

...why was Cal a ginger?! You can’t have a ginger wear a red or pink outfit! It clashes! Couldn’t they at least have made his hair more of a brow-ish shade to ensure it would go with most colour-schemes. Ginger doesn’t go with red or orange because it is red-ish or orange! Then again: colour-wise most of the ponchos didn’t work with the under-outfits either so, gah! Who designed the cosmetics in this game!? It never quite looked right to me. 

...why was Anakin in it? I fail to imagine Anakin letting the empire murder children for no reason, yeah yeah: he murdered the kids in the temple that one time, but... he came back to his senses to rescue his son in the end tho right, so... Yeah ok, maybe not, but... I just don’t understand how torturing the kids make them inquisitors either, wouldn’t they just kill themselves right when they had the chance instead of actually doing the empires bidding after all they’d been through because of it? If Trilla was so angry at Cere for letting her get captured at all by giving up her potential location, why did she join and why did she stay? She could’ve killed her at practically any point, but didn’t and then she ended up dying in the end while kind of maybe kind of “forgiving” Cere anyway... I am confused as to how murdering force-users and kidnapping them and torturing them is even a viable plan at all, but then again I ain’t evil so... Sure sure, less potential jedi and all, but if one can turn to “the dark side” at any point then you can get off of it too at any point can’t ya? and if the kid was tortured to join you and stay, wouldn’t they be more likely to just f*ck off your “dark side”-shenanigans the moment you are out of earshot? Yeah, they make it sound hard, but I have no idea how this shit is supposed to work in the first place so what the heck do I know! Why is the “dark side” a thing in the first place? I thought the force was an all powerful omnipresent-kind-of-thing that moves through everyone and everything, why/how does it have a “dark side” if it is everywhere at all times? Technically, wouldn’t the ppl NOT force-sensitive and the ppl NOT using the force be the ones on the “dark side” of the force? They are the ones that don’t affiliate with it and can’t “feel” it after all... Technically the ppl on the “dark side” aren’t actually on a “side” of anything, they are just happening to use the force for evil. I can perhaps understand why the idiots in charge want something to blame, like our religious ppl inventing the devil, but the ppl that actually feel the force would know that there’s no such thing as a “dark side” of the force, right? And yet everyone, even Luke in that second new movie was all like “Oh my gawd Ray, you went immediately to the dark side, whine whine whine!” But the whole thing with you Luke was that you embraced balance, right? I mean you were all: green lightsaber but all black outfit and was so badass when ya rescued Han! It wasn’t Anakin that brought balance to the force like the prophecy Obi had had said: it was his son that managed it, right? Or was that retconned? ...anyway.

I feel like swjfo was so short and for the amount I paid for it, it sure as shit doesn’t feel worth it in the end. I mean, I was so shocked when I started up the game and was gonna load my save and saw that we were 54% or something through the game and the main story had barely picked up any pace!

This definitely felt more like a prequel to another, better, more story-rich and exploratory game. 

I hope that they are making the next installment where we as Cal explore balancing the force and get to use force-lightning! (I was so disappointed you never got to learn that in this game, it would have been cool... if the game was longer and there was more to do and more things to fight and such!) The fact that Merrin joined so late in the story was dumb, but a hope that they will make the next installment where we together with her and the other crew get a bigger cooler ship and get to explore the world to get rid of the empire together and learn about the force and such too together and maybe romance her or something too I guess, but a male option for the rest of us that don’t want to see that straight shit would be nice too of course. But if their story progresses nicely and their chemistry grows naturally, I wouldn’t necessarily mind in the end if they go steady with each other. 

Seriously tho, a warning from the game that there would be no more perks to be unlocked when I’d unlocked all of them would’ve been nice! At least an option to sink the extra points you could still get into health or force-meter or lightsaber attack strength, (kind of like in Asscreed Ori where ya could add points into increased arrow-damage or melee-damage of a small percentage indefinitely almost. I was literally expecting that to be the case with this game but nope!). Anyway, the second game should focus on us and the crew expanding our operation of defeating the empire by: gathering allies and tools and experience too I suppose and it should also focus on Cal beginning to research mastering all aspects of the force, maybe together with Merrin. Merrin herself should learn about the world and also learn it really wasn’t the jedi that were the cause of her loss and pain and grow as a person and grow closer to the og crew too. Not sure how to end that game tho.

The third and last installment should be one where we actually get to eradicate the empire and actually rebuild the world and potentially the order too. One where we get to actually find balance and get to use a red lightsaber and use force-lightning too without being evil! (That might be more of an end-game goal for the second game tho: Cal masters some of the many aspects of the force and gets to use force-lightning, but not enough to satisfy us maybe, so there’ll be a reason to play the third one or something lol). So: use a red lighsaber and more cool force powers including force-lightning and “master the force”, all the while also working to finish eradicate the empire. Maybe some world-building choices where we decide if or how the new jedi order should be and we become a council member and do council business and such. It could end with the entire world open too us, with little quests of minor significance but it’s something to do scattered around the planets and places on the planets, we get to “build bridges” with the ppl were are to protect as part of the new jedi order and heck, let me decide what should happen and then you just make the game for me yeah Respawn?

...anyway, final thoughts:

I am done with the game and have no reason to keep playing it. This makes me kind of sad, but in the end: the story was unsatisfyingly short and uninteresting and the ending left much to be desired. But! There is very minimal hope (knowing EA) that there will be more to come. Let us hope.

End of rant.

[melmothblog]

Ask Responses: Race and Racism in ballet. Part II.

I’m posting my response as a Part II to the post about the use of yellowface in ballet that went up yesterday.

Melmoth, can you imagine what would happen to ballets in Russia that has always been a staple and classic like La Bayadere if Russia experienced this wave of ridiculous Leftist movement screaming cultural appropriation like the West is experiencing? Of course, I am not saying we shouldn't respect cultures but as an Asian woman, I am completely fine with other people dressing up as Mulan for Halloween and such. I'm curious about your opinion and ty for your time!

I dont mean to offend anyone with my question but I know I will end up doing so. You have always seem well articulate in your answer while remaining fairly unbiased so I was thinking it would be interesting to hear what you think! I just can't imagine no more La Bayadere bc the dancers aren't Indian or the Chinese Dance taken out of the Nutcracker bc it offends ppl which obviously wasn't the intention of the whole thing. So thanks! :)

I have covered this topic before, though this is the first time I am writing about it from the “Western” point of view. In the past, I have tried to explain (and, to some degree, excuse) the relaxed attitude Russians have towards blackface. Now, I’ll explain why this attitude should be challenged.

Personally, it’s very easy for me to imagine what would happen to “La Bayadere”, “The Nutcracker” and similar ballets if the racially insensitive elements of these productions were altered: nothing. Nothing would happen to them. None of these ballets would be affected in any significant way and would continue to exist and delight audiences for many years to come. 

The updates made to NYCB’s “The Nutcracker” (addresses in Part I) are a testament to how simple alterations can contribute to a production, rather than detract from it. And it’s not like there’s no precedent for this sort of thing in Russia: the early interpretations of Spanish dance in various Soviet productions weren’t exactly accurate, and corrections were later made to the choreography to fix the errors. These updates weren’t an issue then and they shouldn’t be now. People who advocate for these changes don’t want to destroy entire ballets or even to erase characters from them; they want to replace caricature with character. 

Tsiskaridze, whether he realises this or not, may have opened the door for future changes when he dropped the blackface variation from “The Fairy Doll”. He was criticised for making the updates, yet the production remains in both the Mariinsky’s and VBAs repertoires and is very successful. 

It would take a very long time for me to explain why blackface and yellowface are degrading, demeaning and disrespectful to a great number of people. This is where your own will and desire for self-education should come in. And an open mind. 

I would use these articles as a starting point: 

The New York Times: Toning Down Asian Stereotypes to Make ‘The Nutcracker’ Fit the Times

Yellowface.org statement: Why are Changes Needed

And then, if at all possible, get your hands on a copy of Reni Eddo-Lodge’s “Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race”. I’ve always though of myself as a fairly *enlightened* individual, but this book challenged me big time.

And then, keep going. And if you take anything away from my response, let it be one word: empathy. 

Your question is pretty common and normal, but what bothers me about it is the way it is worded. The issues of cultural appropriation and racial representation in ballet - as well as theatre, film and TV - aren’t a matter of political correctness gone mad. These are valid problems that need to be, at the very least, discussed. 

Sadly, from what I have seen, this is a very popular sentiment in Russia right now: women’s rights, gender equality, feminism, #MeToo, LGBTQI+ rights, racial equality, disability rights, transgender rights and various other social and human justice movements are all written off as “ridiculous Leftist movements sweeping the West”. There is a strong feeling that if Russia gives in to these, something dreadful would happen ...like entire ballets from Russia’s classical heritage would cease to exist. 

Spoiler alert: They won’t.

Note: I didn’t address halloween costumes in this post partly because they are a whole other subject, but mostly because there is a world of difference between an insensitive costume worn to a party and a large-scale, world-famous ballet production seen by tens of thousands people from around the world a year. 

d i s c l a i m e r 

[herotheshiro]

ooooooh my god... finally got around to checking out the manhwa hotel phryne  (i had seen the cover graphic around w the guy in vines w the other guy behind him and i was like what kind of weird kinky shit is this and then i learned abt the actual plot...) and WOAH... this manhwa is gonna be one hell of a fucking ride. the author is not pulling their punches.

the IG post that finally brought this manhwa to my attention already showed that the long-term plot was gonna be the guy having to pick the real love interest out of the dopplegangers so i knew what was gonna happen but the first few ch were real interesting bc you kind of get a sense that both of them are kind of sketch ... there’s that scene of doyoon being like ‘this guy is dangerous’ abt hyunjin and then also you literally find out nothing more abt hyunjin’s personality other than the few scenes you have from doyoon’s POV so there’s that but then doyoon also doesn’t seem like a completely nice guy even before they get to hotel phryne (and that’s where the darker parts of his personality pop up a lil more so)... and then the whole hotel phryne thing is pretty fucked up but like not the same kind of fucked up as the weird influx of stalker manhwas these days. like... warehouse is fucked up in a bad way and i couldn’t bring myself to continue after the end of s1 but this manhwa is fucked up as in even though i wince at scenes (like omg (spoiler) the scene when the rose guy FUCKING outs the scissors cast jin was hiding??? i forgot what was going on in that scene but was rose guy trying to push cast jin into doing something ?? regardless i honestly almost yelled) i’m like eager to see what’s coming next.

i’m super hype to learn more abt hyunjin through this game bc you know this is how the author is going to reveal his personality/backstory esp w rose guy just fucking around w him... but tbh (spoiler) i don’t 100% believe the cast guy is the real hyunjin even though the story is pushing us to believe that. i feel like it’s the rose guy gaslighting a fake but then writing-wise it wouldn’t really make sense to focus a lot on a fake who theoretically won’t even make it out of the hotel ... but then again based on how this story is going i wouldn’t put it past the author to red herring us until the end. (although v clever way to differentiate him at least by breaking his arm) also looking forward to the revelation of what is rose guy and hotel phryne’s deal ... bc that scene after doyoon booked the room was super interesting and w rose guy being like ‘let’s play a game’ while also being like ‘go and kill the other fakes man’... hmMMM

i’m kind of mad that the raws aren’t that far ahead of the translations so now i gotta fucking wait fr to see developments ... honestly cannot wait for next tuesday bc i really want to see the full thing rose guy said to cast jin (bc obviously from the raws it wasn’t just ‘you’re a fake’) but also i have so much work to do in the future so at the same time i don’t want tuesday to come lol. also can’t wait to see how the other hyunjins get developed lol, i think they might be pulling a selfcest w red and orange hair which is lol but ya know how it is. ppl said that one of the most recent raws updates made ppl dislike it on toonkor but y’all need to get your heads out of your asses bc clearly this manhwa is gonna have some more messed up/things you won’t like happen so just suck it up and appreciate writing (unless it was bad writing. then i can’t wait to be disappointed but it just look like a plot twist was introduced)

[weirdness-on-the-roof]

Shitty episode 49 notes

so this time its mostly dialogue. I’m not a fast typer so i definitely missed stuff and my spelling is atrocious, but I did use the break and until the live stream ended to fill in the gaps I could. This is pre and post break notes. Obvious major spoilers, lots of weird details i wrote down that matt said b/c we never know when something is gonna be important or come back/ be relevant.

Also I love Beau with all my heart.

Have fun ya nerds :) 

Episode 49 Notes:

Chair has replaced uktatoa for echoes

Matts wording in the summary are so careful

Short brown hair, green and black robes necklace with circular gems lots of rings, middle aged/ young for an elf

Nott knows a place--- river bank spot

They were noted by the locals

Pretty river with shaded trees

Beau checks to see if followed 21 perception, people aren’t keeping watch but the righteous brand are gathering at the southern fields where the operatives were coming from

“What the fuck”-Jester

thanks Laura for voicing not only Jester but the entire fan base

Nott doesn’t want to leave “you can leave but i need to stay” ouch that hurt

Nott doesn’t expect them to stay

“We are a target”- Cad

“Your son????” -Jester “is it your son or are you even a goblin??”

Nott “[we don’t need to pretend we don’t keep secrets]”

Nott feels chained and not able to move forward, is ok with being open and honest so ‘we can move ahead’

Rephrase from episode one broke my heart

Nott: “Well hi, my name is Nott the brave and I’m a little goblin girl. But, once upon a time i was Veth, a young halfling woman and before that, a halfling child who grew, um, up being told that she was pretty and not brave and not coordinated and not smart and just not..

Jester line

Nott: Yea, I was. And then, ya know, time went by and i got older, i was made fun of quite a bit. I had this um, Ppl thought i was strange, b/c i collected things, i collected lots of things, they were outstanding. They were wax seals,and pieces of colored paper, and some buttons and fabric,

Beau line

Nott: All kinds

Beau line

Nott: Well they didn't think so, i had brothers and people in town who would just ridicule me

Jester: that was here

Nott: Yes, and one day i um  i was playing a game with the other boys and they dared one of their friends to give me a kiss, and the boy was very nice and he actually seemed to like it and he and i became friendly and eventually did what people do and got married and he didn't mind my strangeness and i helped him get his apothecary up and running and he was a brilliant chemist and could make acids and potions and oils and bleaches for fabric for all sorts of things and he helped me. Eventually we had a baby named luke and he was a bright boy, very smart, he learned to talk very early and walk very early. Such a smart boy and that's who you saw back there is my son.

Jester: so was he right, did you die?

Nott: I think so, I think so, uh. We had a rough winter in felderwind, there were not a lot of crops and i think some of the animals had died that winter. This river i brought you to this sort of, it's a beautiful place i used to come here with yeza and it's an important place i used to come here with yeza… the goblins would come from over there, they would raid from over there [points]... They came into town and raided more and more, they took us. They took me and my husband and my child, they held us in one of their camps. I don’t know if it was days or weeks or months. Luke, he wasn’t doing well….. We ran, we ran in the dead of night, they were fast, i've been chased a lot… i told them to run… the goblins followed me and when they found me i fought, i had a vial of acid and i threw it in the face of the one trying to catch us, they took me back to the camp. I think he died from his wounds…[I think he was a type of leader] i think he had a wife. This goblin told the woman ‘make her suffer’ and they did. They brought me to this river and they drowned me in it. I can still feel the water in my lungs and in my ears and in my nose. And then nothing. Until i woke up and saw the hands.. The skin and i looked in a puddle and i could see what they made me. They made me into everything i thought i was. Not pretty, not good, just not. I'll be honest, i've started forgetting what it was like to be halfling. Just everyday just more and more goblin…. I'm sorry i didn’t tell u and im sorry i lied and i'm sorry caleb i didnt tell u. You would have understood and you could have helped me, i dunno. I feel like you're almost there like you're almost strong enough…. Anyways that's how i got to you, and that's why i got to you and why i can't be in this town. Well i only recently started signing the letters. I don't know what he would think of me. {Missed a lot here}

{nott was in the goblin clan kinda as a slave} I would clean out the messes and clean after the meals. The one [goblin] who tortured, i would help him, maybe six months. So maybe a year, no more than a year, a year and a half? I don't know exactly.

Cad can sober up Nott and Nott lets him via lesser restoration b/c alcohol is a toxin

First time we’ve seen sober nott in a while

They’re in the valley [la joke?]

The Goldfield Tavern and Lodge

Beau to Caleb: You puked all over that apothecary so something is definitely not right

Liam is so good

They headed south towards the woods for the chat

Fjord very pointedly asks if nott is ok leaving his son. He asks twice.

Caleb won’t talk in town

Edith is staying for now and nott gave her 200 gold.

No one in town knows that Veth is alive

‘I forgot what he looked like. He forgot what i looked like.”-Nott about Luke’ we need to know the ones we love.”

Beau: Nott you drowned, and you just spent three months underwater, that's incredible. I don't know if you realized that. Its incredible.

Fjord thinks Edith and Luke should leave town. Jester offers to send them to her mum. Possibly going just more west without crossing the border.

Letter to Bryce to get them somewhere safe and closer to border in case of speedy exit of the empire.

Nott  admimatly wants to find Yeza

Jester via sending: “Hello, its jester. Two people incoming, a woman and child, take care of them please. Were sending money with them, it is important. Please help.”

Byrce, not really surprised: “Um alright. Ill do my best. Please don't send too many more.”

Liam trying to stay in character and not laughing at jokes during Bryce chat

Most of the righteous brand have gathered and are heading north east, leaving felderwind. People are trying to pick up and move on

Chat in wagon in back, hidden, Cad. 60 yd radius of warning if someone is gonna pass them

Beau to jester b/c they’re telling the truth now: “I didn’t sleep with dyren. She wasn’t my roommate. She was my teacher.” and she taught beau “how to kick as and take names bitch”

Jester trying to be helpful and fjord trying to be supportive

Caleb: “Your name is Veth?” “it was.”My name was Bren Aldrich Emendroot. Was. and um… I uh, i uh

Look at Laura

Jester: “Did you die too?”

Nott: “twinnies?”

Caleb: “I have been using you all.”

Jester, confused: How?

Caleb:I am from Rexingtrum. I attended Soltrace Academy. I was plucked by one of the cerborous assembly and was being trained to do the things that i fear were being done to [Yeza]. A lot a big plans for me that didn’t plan out- I went a little crazy and ran away, ran away. I have been on the run for long time. I was tired of starving. And I met you. I was a little less hungry for a while. I have been afraid for a long time, two of the people in that town are from the cerberus assembly. I don't think [the assembly members would recognise him] I walked passed that portrait many times. One of them is the head of the cerberus assembly. There's good teachers, it's everything they describe it to be. After going there for several months, one of the assembly  who also would teach on occasion, started interviewing me. Calling me in and asking me questions. He sorta put me in an advanced class, me and a few others. I don't want you all to be seen with me by one of them, they will use you to get to me. You met the man who trained me. His name is Trent Ikathon.

Jester: thats why you make that face all the time

Caleb: I’m not a very good person.

Jester: “I dont think out actions don’t define us all them time. Good people do bad things sometimes bad people do good things. I think you’re a good person”

Beau: “do you care about us? You’ve told us several times you’re not a very good person.”

Caleb: im worried about your husband.  I know the things that man can do.[unravels arm wrappings to show a series of small cuts going up the entirety of the right arm] He used to put crystals in… he he experimented on the three of us.

NottL what would they do? The crystals

He uhh was trying to strength us. The first time i ever saw that word was in your libraries, no explanation.

Beau: The dunamous?

Caleb: No, the first time i’ve ever seen that word was in your libraries. Haphazardly scrolled into that word. No, no everything was for the empire. We were being trained to serve the empire above all. He was mad himself, he was mad. He believed that the unwashed masses relied on their base instinct and the highest calling was to rise above the muck and control the cattlel. We were, are at war. Many of us, felt that way, feel that way.

Nott: Do you still that way?

Caleb: I don’t believe in anything, now.

Fjord: This Trent, does he know these two we saw?

Caleb: Oh yes, yes, yes. And I don’t want one more thing on my head to have you guys. Probably too late anyways.

Fjord: How powerful are these two anyways? Our normal tricks, would they fall short?

The Cerberus assembly are the most powerful mages in the empire…over 200 yrs ago a # of mages went to war in the streets of Restrum and um, it was bloody and awful and eventually came to a truce … proposed to the king at the time that they serve as an advising body to the throne.

Jester: Would they see if we were disguised? Or would they have to look for us.

Caleb: I don’t know for sure but there is a reason i didn't use something like that back there.

Fjord: So, we need to give the a very wide birth.

Nott: [why would they take yeza]

Caleb: I don’t know. It is something to do with the thing. But i don’t know why him.

[Jester reading the burned notes and meaningless stuff mostly they won’t kill Yeza]

Caleb: Was he gifted in his work? What is written about here but it does not seem like anything i ever learned about that.

[?]: It says there that they are looking for a way to achieve their ends w/o the object.  I don’t know what they need.

Beau: trent ikathon was looking at yasha....

Calev: I hope he is alive i really do but they will make his life a living hell. And the empire. They are as close to as powerful if not as powerful as the king. I used a lot of names. Caleb is just what i told you. I don’t know. Caleb, let's stick with caleb for now. Um i honestly don’t know if we can, if we are up to this. Unless they are on land, this is the might of the empire. Vestduragna is the arch mage of antiquities.. She's a historian, she has uncovered mysteries of the past. She's a history buff, she's awful probably. He is the head of the military, so if they are both here i would say he is here over seeing the military and she is overseeing what is in that bag.

Fjord makes a valid point about this might not being the only one. [dodecha]

Beacons is plural

Fjord is being cautious for once

[Caleb looks like he wants to cry about the ‘liking us’ comment]

Caleb: I uhh, ohhh jester, i'm glad you see good in me.

Beau: “Its too late now b/c we like you and are invested in your happiness and [stuff]”

Caleb: ok

Beau: dont run. You can say you don't believe in us, that's fine. Believe in us just a little bit, ok?

Caleb: I will consider it heavily.

Beau: I’m sorry for not hearing you yesterday… i heard that you were doubting me and us and our friendship

Caleb:‘i dont doubt any of you

Fjord ‘I swallow shit and make it appear in my weapons i'm down to throw down. You don't have to minimize my stuff’

Those elves two were founders of the Cerberus Assembly

Stabby stab

Fjord: You seduce one i'll seduce the other. I have a way with elves [nervous/embarassed laughter]

Its like you two have been reading tumblr - tal

Caduceus is a wild mom?- confused Beau

Shit shit shit that stuff was out of the bag and scry-able for so long

Samone is the innkeeper

‘Ruckus is a word’

War with the dominion ???

Travis being charismatic and info snatchy is such a difference from grog

‘Felderwind is not known for its excitement’ with jazz hands from matt

“I need something complicated to focus myself… preferably some sort of flower or living plant. The notion is that i'm looking for something that is a testament to the wildmother.”

Jester: “Honey!”

Cad: I’m not entirely sure what honey is made of

Beau: essence of flower and bee puke

Demi leric (female human) does not charge but accepts donation, general physician

Cricks left w/in an hour “a swift nightmare”. “Dark elf folk” “second one on the left that's burned down”

Demi leric’s house is across the street from a burned building, door partially open. Simple establishment, herb smells, chemical smells, ⅘ cots with 2 recovering crownsguard chillin. Human woman, late 20s/ early 30s, bright smile & eyes, business in the eyes,

Beau used real name    

“Taking statements”

A few strange complaints about 1/ 2 months back. Wave of nausea. All lived in a cluster, near the doctor’s office near a burned building

Attack around midnight

Detective beau?

Semi conscious guard, has burns, beau slaps a wound, ‘sup, names beau with the cobalt soul, what's your name?’ “Jeff” “good to meet you Jeff” jeff got Luke out of the flames “cricks got him and ran… life four of them.. I saw the fire they pushed me into when i tried to stop them… it was crazy, they came in quick.. I guess [they were targeting places].. Last place they lit was the apothecary…

TAL WANTS TO FIND THE CHAIR MAKER

Jester: What is the possibility that your mean people can change memories?

Caleb: Pretty good…

Tunnels--> North East side where the fields begin. Crownsguard near three sinkhole like entrances.

They didn’t dig them, something dug it for them. Something with big teeth dug it for them and they came out. This creature was 10 feet wide mouth. They collapse the tunnels when they left. They dug in the third one tunnel a bit. Each tunnel is 200-300 feet apart. The tunnel that was dug out was in the middle. Tunnel at a steep angle w/ rope hanging down. This tunnel kept gong 50ft before evening out at a steady downward incline. Looks organically carved tunnel rather than arcane. Definitely burrowed. Nothing on detect magic or undead.

‘Anything is possible in this world of magic and mystery’

Cad base chant to see if he can get vibration via thaumaturgy. Can very vaguely hear a gap at some point w/ very little detail.

Break

Gank

Rexintrum is the largest city in the empire

Worms

Fjord makes a valid point about the slowy thing being a great battle tactic

Fjord has limits on what he will poke/big red button comment

“The dragon poke sucked”

“Im here b/c i was out of options and i went looking for them.” - Cad

my detail oriented self is loving getting actual info from Cad

The magic that held the forest in place is fading away. Not the only site like cads but there hasn’t been communication

Cad family, bigggggggg, built the temple, they all left to look for answers, none came back, doesn’t know what direction they went in, didn’t ask wildmother about them and doesn’t really wanna know “have faith and not second guess”, Corin talked about trying to find some of the other temples. CORIN? ---> sister?

Jester “this is some serious shit… the empire is really fucked up. And everyone went through some horrible stuff

Nott: i promise if you stay with us you’ll also go through some horrible stuff

Jester:[too late already have].. I want nice again one day

Cad: I just want home back, I wanna know that its safe again

Nott: I want to be me again yes. Yes and i hope someday it can happen.

{what does Nott want to be called?}

“Or Vott”-Jester in response to Fjord prompting Nott v. Veth

Beau: Nott and Caleb it is. The mighty nein made of seven people. Works great.

Caleb “not the name not the group. I’m not it” {Not sure if i got the last part spot on the stream cut out before I rewatched/checked this}

“Their names are Chair, together they are chair.”

“I’m here to bring the awkward”- Tal

“What it Yeza’s destination pushing a few days forward?”- Cad w/ Divination to the Wildmother “Gordranas” via wind whispers

Yasha has heard the name, its far further north and the tribe avoided it b/c a lot of the beast folk lived that way ie others who wandered the wastes ‘men who are like bull warrior/bugbears/ other goblinoids’ some work with the crin.

The Luxum- something Caleb read about it having a negative effect on Gordraonas

Gordronas is important to the history of age of arcanum. When the gods walked the earth, both the prime deities and the betrayer gods there were areas of influence considered theirs. A # of those areas belonging to the betrayer gods happened to be in wildmount and Gordranas was the name of the center of their ‘tenuous union’ [betrayer gods] in the final years of the Clamity the b. Gods would go there to plot evil shit.

 What remains of gordonas is where the crin has established their dynasty. People in Yasha’s tribe said it was perpetual night.

Cad on how to travel 1000 miles through a war zone“We’ve got a cart, I’m completely serious.”

One of the garrisons has been lost to the Cryn. {Ash something or rather?}

Yeza- short, even for a halfling, bushy brown hair, long sideburns, big nose, not a great chin, narrow shoulders, not a looker,

IS (not referring to Yeza in the past tense ie Nott being corrected by Jester/Fjord?Beau)

They were married five years

THEY SHOULD KNOW VETH’S ACTUAL BIRTHDAY

To Jester’s message to Yeza: No response then a very faint “Hello?  I don’t know, its very dark, I have to be quiet. Thank you”

Nott being wingwoman Jester and Fjord

Jester is the best customer service person ever

Jordan and Jamenson are escorting Luke and Edith, Jeff almost kept Beau’s staff

Beau’s bo still has a bow

“I’m here to buy some pockets” “Money belts!” and the tourist necklace thingies

Secret tunnels

Fjord and Beau tag teaming it and fucking with that one guy’s pride with a few good checks

Caleb paying for a group expense

Polymorph into a honey badger (who doesn’t care)

LEVEL EIGHT

‘This won’t be a problem when I’m a president’- Sam

“Be an elk and kill all these fucking soldiers” -Travis or Fjord?

Dire honey badger? Yessssssss. Bony 6 foot honey badger, 5-6 inch claws

‘I’m gonna bless the honey badger’- Cad <3

Travis gonna kill Gil

The other side of the collapse was like 150 feet down further from where the empire stopped digging

Tunnel wides, drops off like a cliff 30-40 foot til another drop off 10ish feet later and a river that is cutting it’s way through. Crystle (quartz) stalactites from a 15’ tall ceiling

Same system as Zadash? Connecting aquifers?

“Do not send the cleric into the pit of unknown.”- Tal

Yeza and Veth never got a honeymoon and they wanted to go to Taledorie [Whitestone is great in the spring].

666

They’re going caving I guess

If Beau changes(ed) her name them all the Empire based people would have lots of names. (Bren-> Caleb ; Veth-> Nott ; Lucian-> Molly)

Also Beau and Bren are the names parents would name their kids if they wanted to have a matching letter for all their kids but the kids hate being a matched set.

Jester having the crisis of ‘I was lonely but y’all had some shit’ was really heartbreaking to watch. I hope she doesn’t stop that progression of showing more and more genuine emotion both positively and negatively.

[cfdarkknight]

waddup WADDUPPP, the king is live™, the king is here ©, long live the king. hey guys !! it’s your local trash bin homie, sessho! ( short for sesshomaru ) inuyasha, anyone? naw? naw, it’s cool, it’s cool. i’m back, yes back, to the motherland no, my wakandaland handsome man T’CHALLA!!! i’ve loved t’challa since cw, and i’ve bee trying to find a place to fit my muse for him, it’s been so up and down, but i’m really excited because i think i found the perfect place for him. here !!! and i’m SO excited to rp with all of you!! this looks like this place is gonna be sm fun !!!! okay okay, i’ll stop blabbering on and give you the goods. pls forgive me for being so late?? jus think, t’challa was fashionably late to the party~

seriously, have you seen his wardrobe?? excluding dem shoes WAT R THOSE ???

( CHADWICK BOSEMAN, HE/HIM, CISMALE — T'CHALLA has been sighted within chronopolis. sometimes known as BLACK PANTHER, the 38 year old is known to be HONORABLE but can be DOUBTFUL if they stay here any longer. ( SESSHO, 26, CST, SHE/HER )

i’m following cw ( civil war ) && and black panther the movie, as far as wat he’s based on. i’m NOT going to go into too much detail about bp jus in case, ya haven’t seen it.

 if you haven’t ( wat r u doin with your life, go see it ) i swear, it’ll bless your year, if not your soul™

because of this i will tag gif sets and stuffz, from the movies with these tw: black panther spoilers, spoilers tw, bp spoilers trigger. all three of them most likely so DON’T tell me i didn’t warn you! make sure to put those on your blacklist tags! thank you!

tbh i don’t quite know where t’challa stands with the avengers, because he’s there for the upcoming infinity war, but at the same time he IS the black panther. protector of wakanda and king. his utmost importance are his people. it’s his duty as king. but he’s more than willing to work with the avengers for the greater good. aka beatin thanos’ ass.

so, in general, his relationship with most avengers is about where it left off in cw ( exceptions are our boy scout, shooky soldier, and our scarlet betrayer. )

t’challa’s on better terms with dat beautiful boy scout, since he took in shooky soldier

he tried to kill phuck me shooky soldier, but it’s aiight now

and drop dead gorgeous scarlet betrayer, you just hurt his feelings, but he understood what you did later, so he aint mad gurl, he ain’t mad

he never met thor and banner so yall free from his shade

he still doesn’t care about clint™

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( change his mind clint )

his favorite ppl are shuri && ramonda of coarse, okoye, nakia, zuri rip, and w’kabi ( despite everything that happened WATCH BP ).

he feels like he has a strained relationship with his father now,  t'chaka, even tho the man ded now. because of something VERY IMPORTANT THAT DEALS WITH N'JADAKA !!! it’s complicated because he hates what he did to n’jadaka, but this is the same man that raised him. that he put all of his trust into. that taught him how to be a man, and raised him to be king. he fought the avengers, he fought cap, and almost KILLED bucky for him. t’challa had immense love and respect for him...and he just broke his heart.

so now, as king, he’s dealing with a couple of things. his doubt as an appropriate king. sometimes he doesn’t feel like he can lead his people right, that he doesn’t know what he’s doing in dire situations ( bp ), he has that false confidence but he’s just struggling thorough it. to find his place. like any young king. and it’s not like his father will tell him how exactly to lead. his ded relationship with n’jadaka. he doesn’t want what to happened to n’jadaka to happen ever again. in his own way, he’s trying to make up for what happened to his cousin. and he’s especially doing it through coming out of isolation, revealing to the world wakanda’s resources ( slowly but surely ) so they can help the world, instead of helping themselves. it was good at a time, but the world’s changing and problems are growing. more than ever, now is time to step into the spotlight. 

it’s too bad this didn’t happen until he lost his cousin </3

WHICH IS WHY N’JADAKA REALLY ISN’T A VILLAIN ( AGAIN BP )

sure he had different ‘ methods ’, he had every right to be angry, but he was just trYING TO HELP HIS PPL TOO

AFTER WHAT FCKIN T’CHAKA DID

I WILL PROTECT N’JADAKA LIKE CAP PROTECTS BUCKY FUCK MAN

and t’challa * secretly* wishes he could’ve gotten to know his cousin, because he didn’t even know he fuckin existed, *cries*

under different terms. but now, he wishes he could’ve gotten to know him ( this is still assuming he thinks he ded )

me && and tchalla @ n’jadaka: i luv u 

to go along with the isolationist ideology, that wakanda has stuck with for so long, t’challa only really knows the avengers ( *inserts names here* there’s alot of them ) AGAIN EXCEPT thor and bruce because they weren’t there for the fight, and his ppl over there in wakanda, which includes m’baku, and dez dudes everett ross, and ulysses klaue. i’m going to stick with this for immediate connections. all others will be new connections! aka he won’t know who you are.

yeah he’s got the black panther suit too *winkedy wink wink*

ship with chemistry, PLEASE! t’challa’s got a LOT going on.

other than his little crush on nakia, wat a player ;)

am i posting this before blackout day is over?? i hope so!! because it’s important! i love seeing my brothers and sistas posting black appreciation of all kind ( because yes i’m also black )

which is honestly why this blog, and this character, and all of the bp characters, and the bp MOVIE is so important to me.

i haven’t played t’challa in awhile, so pls be nice???

i’m probs not gonna make a startercall because it can be kind of overwhelming for me if i get alot??? ( long story ) but if you wanna make a starter for me, that’s cool ( after plotting ). i’ll try to respond to things and make a starter that everyone can reply to, cool?

YOU DON’T EVER HAVE TO MATCH MY LENGTH of replies. i tend to write alot, and it’s the only way i tend to get things across sometimes, but dw. if you’re comfortable writing less, you do that. i adapt.

some of these icons i’ve made myself, some of them aren’t mine *shrugs* i’m impatiently waiting for someone to make gif hunts from the movie of t’challa or icons or something because i’m not great at photoshop. gifs i can use to make into icons. in the meantime, i’m using gif icons/possibly even just icons.

COME AND PLOT WITH ME BBS <3

one more thing: WAKANDA  FOREVER!

[carverhawke]

hey so i was thinking about getting the me:a and ive been a huge fan of ME games in the past but i heard rly bad things about it?? like a lot of ppl are unhappy w it? and id get the origin access thing but i cant since im on a mac and i was just wondering what you thought abt it & if its worth getting the game now

tbh I love it so far! I definitely think it’s worth it. the gameplay is really fun, the characters are all great so far, and the story is really dragging me in! I’ll admit I’ve stopped myself from going to far in early access, bc I don’t wanna have to worry about missing things from being on a time limit, but I’ve seen videos on what the full trial has to offer and I’ve played a bit of the multiplayer. based on what I’ve seen so far I would definitely 100% recommend the game, especially if you’re a fan of the original trilogy

(I’m gonna talk abt some stuff, no spoilers tho!)

probably the biggest concern you’ve been seeing is facial animations? imo they’re really not bad, they can definitely be kinda weird at times and they eyes/eyebrows don’t always look Quite right but honestly I really like all the little oddities! I already made a post abt how I think it’s really endearing and makes everyone cuter lmao. I’ve also seen a few other animation glitches but they really aren’t that big a deal lmao. tbh animations have never been bioware’s strong point anyway so I’m not entirely sure what people are so mad about. another major complaint I’ve seen is the character creator, which is definitely limited, especially compared to the other games. I wouldn’t say it was dogshit tho lmao, like it was harder for me to create a ryder I liked with it but I just had to experiment a little and I figured it out lmao. I also really like the new tattoo options, and I’m not sure why people are so salty over the hair??? like it MOVES NOW!!!!! there are some really nice options! ppl are complaining there’s no long hair but tbh it’s long enough for this. I’m not entirely sure what they expect, like ass length hair? like this is bioware can u imagine the clipping we’d get with that hair long lmao (I’m sorry this is becoming me like. getting super salty over the fandom but I’m a salty bitch lmao)

I’m on mobile so I can’t stick any of this under a readmore so before this gets too long I’ll talk real quick abt how good it is! the combat is super fun, it definitely feels more fast paced but still like mass effect! I’m still trying to get used to some of the new mechanics tho so I’m pretty bad at it lmao, it probably doesn’t help that I’m experimenting with a new class either!! the characters are all great so far, I was really pleasantly surprised by dad as cora (not that I was expecting them to be bad or anything, they were both a lot warmer than trailers had made them seem, and cora was funny too). Liam I had very high expectations for and he met every single one and more, he was an absolute delight to be around. I didn’t personally meet the tempest crew or other squadmates yet (like I said I don’t wanna go too far yet) but from what Ive seen in videos they all seem fantastic: vetra is cool, peebee seems super fun, gil is ADORABLE (I wanna romance him as Scott now!!), suvi is a sweetheart. Kallo is a huge nerd and apparently loves to talk shit and gossip and I love him so far! I don’t wanna compare him to joker, that kind of feels like doing him a disservice, but I wanna say he’s definitely a worthy successor to him. I’m so excited to spend more time with them, and also to actually see jaal lmao. Voice acting for everyone is phenomenal, especially the Ryder siblings. I’ve played a bit as both of them and they definitely feel like two different, if similar, people. they even had different dialogue options and lines! I really love how they both seem to have their own distinct personalities (not to say you can’t shape them yourself as well, but they feel different from each other when you play as them). The story is really good so far, I’m super interested in all the different threads they’re stringing for us — there are a lot!!! — and I’m so excited to see what’s gonna happen next with the nexus, the golden worlds, companions, all of it! music is really good. it actually felt a lot like dragon age inquisition to me, especially in the cc. the game looks amazing too! like even besides the animations, which as I said I kind of liked lmao, the graphics are really great. environments and space and the sky all look beautiful, and the characters look amazing. armor is sick too — I’m a fuckin mess for cool armor lmao.

ok that’s kind of all I can think of rn and like I said I don’t want this getting too long without a readmore, so I’m gonna leave it at that!! I hope I kind of helped u make up your mind or at least eased some of ur worries about the game? like not to be rude but the bioware fandom has always been kind of a negative Mess so I wouldn’t worry too much about what they have to say lmao. but yeah I love the game so far! It definitely has its little quirks and it isn’t perfect but the problems are honestly negligible in the grand scheme of things, the game is totally worth it and I’m super excited to see how it all plays out!

if u (or anyone else) wants to ask me anything else about this feel free to hmu! I love talking about mass effect lmao

[kaoarika]

AHHHHHHHHH!

Last week I posted this long rambling about Favorite Part, especially as it coincided with both the series concluding AND also with me finding that there is an English fan translation of the series. So... hah... yeah... we are in that “finale” due date period.

It’s a series I want to talk about with other people so much, and while the fan TL is just still in the start/prologue, I don’t think it will be easy for me to shut up until time comes on and the last chapters are translated.

Again, it’s a series I really want to talk about with others, and I feel somewhat sad that I ramble and ramble, and I don’t think ppl will get what I’m saying, until it is widely available for everyone (me included) to get it.

So, uhm...

I will be non-spoiler free from now on in this post (although I’m going to be generalizing a lot of stuff here due to plot’s stuff). I don’t think I am going to reveal everything going on, and these aren’t my final thoughts about the series due to:

a) There’s still a chapter left (published in September 26th, 2019 -Wed 25th in my timezone), so finale-finale? This isn’t, there’s the other half of the finale left.

b) I STILL LACK FULL CONTEXT OF STUFF HAPPENING HERE AND THERE DUE TO LANGUAGE BARRIERS.

c) Most of these are my most raw feelings right now. I might be wrong about stuff, but... ehhh... you know...

I will start saying one thing: the finale does feel rushed. 

Then again, the last... 10 chapters or so feel rushed as well. I am not saying it’s a total bad thing, but I’m certainly to blame the last arc and events around it, especially as they escalated too quickly and, at least for me, they came out from the left field. The nature of this arc (involving a stalker with goons under their wing) was a serious one, and it became dangerous as I never expected the stalker kidnapping someone in this whole mess. Someone that, by the way, seemingly was starting to overcome one of their traumas just before this happened... and I couldn’t believe how foolish they were to FALL into it.

The aftermaths of this event don’t seem to be fully solved (I don’t think only by my POV and lack of context), yet, and it also left lots of questions surrounding the main figure who was stalked here.

And, tbh,  it felt... odd. (It didn’t help finding out in the same chapter that the series was ending). I am certainly wishing there’s a mention about them in the last chapter. But this is mostly my wishful thinking talking, as they became a popular character, and it’s not like I didn’t care for them either... it’s... complicated... they were interesting and there’s lots of stuff here and there about them that don’t have answers, and you just... don’t simply introduce a stalking side-plot  by having it half-solved. Fans simply want to know what happened to them.

That being said, I wouldn’t be 100% surprised if they don’t appear again.

Thinking back, there’s something that stroke me recently as I was talking about this with a friend. What if this romance and drama webtoon was heavily inclined to be about Woojoo and Hanbyeol? Like... What if it was a love story about “healing” and “reconciling” both past and present? As in, “what if we implied we have changed, but actually we haven’t changed that much”? For them both in personal senses... for them both in a relationship.

Btw, I love this ship, and certainly, I may be biased... but then... it started to make sense as I reviewed the series again?

Like, Woojoo was certainly a mess when she is introduced: lack of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem... and she only knew a kind of love where she would be on the sidelines, obssessing over someone whose face was pretty... and opening her arms to the first person who had a pretty face... but everyone and their dog told her that he was an asshole. “You can’t judge a book by its cover”, basically. 

And it was pathetic, and it was pitiful. And the worst thing is? She was aware of it... but couldn’t do something against it because she felt no one else would love her.

But, her insight starts to change when she meets Hanbyeol, a pretty sweet and optimistic guy (at the time, overweight as her), who also has his inner demons.

And they get along in a weird but wholesome way. He also confessed to her that he had a crush on her.

But there’s something that happens at the end of the prologue that these both argue and don’t see each other in a year.

And the thing is? At first, I felt that Hanbyeol was resentful against her over what happened... but he is also surprised that she has been attempting to change her old ways ever since the last time they met. And he truly wanted her to be happy (despite his lingering feelings for her, too) and was deciding to let her go... except things weren’t this way when he finds out that she was involved in a scheme that would hurt her.

They start getting along again aftewards. But... she is still afraid to see his now-slimmed face, because she knows... she knows she doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes she did in the past.

Here is what happens afterwards: they get along, they start going out again, they start to confide in each other again, and they TALK to each other again. They find themselves in a comfort level zone they weren’t in the past. And one simple near glimpse at his face and she finds him handsome... but she stars feeling conflicted about it. Eventually, she starts worrying more and more about him... and you get the idea, and wants to help him the same way he has been doing in the past... ALSO, she finds out more about his inner demons and, that perhaps, she was wrong in misinterpreting his way to cope things when he confessed to her why he liked her at the start.

Sure, many of these thing could be interpreted as platonic, too... but, honestly?

There’s also some kind of “love triangle” introduced, but... at the same time I don’t know if to define it as “love triangle”. SURE, the thing is THERE. but... I suppose it was to “heal”, not exactly “who is she ending up with at the end”.

SO... I MEAN, by now it’s kinda obvious who ended with who, right?

(Reaction pic is relevant, I also prepared myself while reading OreMono vol 8)

I would have been more surprised if those feelings between Hanbyeol and Woojoo weren’t mutual, lol. Especially when I realize that subtlety and “love language” don’t necessarily has to be 100% obvious except for the people involved. And Tarly managed show most of their relationship as potentially romantic with subtlety and growth.

And you could discuss that Hanbyeol was simply being a “nice guy”, and that Woojoo was only being a “good friend”... but, even so, even if they started as friends, and while I would have been okay with a platonic ending between those two... I started to realize “they care for each other in their own ways, go lengths to help/save each other and also comfort them” were a few things that I liked too much of “friends to lovers” stuff when done alright. IT WAS ALL THERE.

I WISH I COULD HAVE LIVEBLOGGED THIS BUT MOST OF MY FEELS WENT FROM “YOOOOOOOO” TO “OH, MY POOR BBY” BECAUSE THE ENDGAME FEELS RIGHT?

ALSO, I liked that them ending together also doesn’t magically fix all their inner demons. They still have their anxieties, their fears, their insecurities... but they have the support of each other. They accept each other for whom they are, because while there’s always a favorite part you like of someone... when you realize it’s only a part of their whole self you also love too much.

But, damn... the way they kissed (because they DID!) was more or less on the same frequency I imagined it, lmao. BUT, YOOOOOOOOO... that was too much too handle for my poor (and “not wanting to be hor*ny on main, but...”) heart.

I cannot express my happiness over this, although the most important thing is that... THERE’S STILL A WEEK LEFT. It’s probably mostly to epilogue stuff and conclusions besides afterwords.

*Praying they don’t get separated, again... I WAITED A YEAR, THEY DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER*

I still echo my selfish feels about hoping Woojoo doesn’t get pressed to lose weight. For how the cliffhanger (?) looks like, I don’t think that would be the case?? But I’m not too sure. Because, hey, one of the reasons I started reading this series is how it portrayed a fat female lead with lots of personal issues, and I like how it opted to not solve them by simply losing weight as THE solution to “accept yourself” . sure, I suppose I wouldn’t be mad if she lose it by own decision or a “culmination” of sorts??? I dunno, perhaps I’ll have mixed feelings at worst.