#i’m not leaving this apartment complex until i leave the city i was so lucky to find this place but

[leadmeastraylittlefairy]

i would love for my apartment to tell me how much my rent increase is gonna be

[writersblog20]

A leap of faith

Henry Cavill x reader

Credits to gif maker

Summary: When one cold December morning you took a leap of faith and decided to see the part of the city that you’ve never been before and soon you come to realize how many leaps of faith you needed to take. ( a close-up to two people falling in love)

Warnings: mention of anxiety and hints to a bad mental health, reader drinks alcohol, mention of smut

Words: 4K

Love is a leap of faith

It was getting cold again and that time of the year started to get closer and closer. The city was already carefully decorated with the lights, the trees, the stores, everything screamed Christmas. Even though you just moved to a different country and didn’t know anyone yet, you’ve had the privilege to get to know yourself on a very deep level. Maybe it was the solidarity and peace you’ve discovered that you didn’t feel so alone.

Back in your home country, you’ve felt alone and depressed even though you had friends all around you but now you could see at that there was a lot of drama in your life. You had to get out and had a very deep gut feeling that you needed to leave this place and you were now certain, that you felt all of that for a reason. Even though Christmas was a month and a half away, you didn’t feel lonely. You felt okay and at peace. Maybe even the happiest than you’ve ever been.

You would lie to yourself if peace and solidarity wasn’t all you wanted in life. You were finally okay with yourself and the moment you left your country, that was where your self-love journey started. You still had a long road ahead but you already made it so far.

Today you had peaceful day but woke up very early. You looked at your clock and it was 5 am. You sighed a bit but decided to just get out. If you wanted to, you could take a nap later. You got some comfy yet warm clothes so you could get out. You made some coffee, put your headphones on and listened to some music.

You walked to your window to look down at the city. It was obviously still dark outside but you saw the city still light up. You drank your coffee while staring out of your apartment. You were very lucky with this place. You had enough space. You had a bedroom, a livingroom and a beautiful kitchen. The ceiling was high and it was just absolutely perfect already before you even made it your own little place.

You were a bit in thought and felt slightly anxious for no apparent reason so you decided to have a morning stroll after your coffee. You grabbed your coat, mittens and beanie before walking down.

You stepped out of the building complex and was greeted by snow. You smiled and felt so complete, it was all you ever dreamed off. You got some hot Christmas drink at your local coffeeshop and You made your way through the park and didn’t really come across a lot of people since it was so early. Until there came a dog running over to you. You recognized the dog from somewhere. Like you’ve seen the dog before but couldn’t really place it in your head. You looked around but there was nobody around and the dog just sat there with you. “Are you a friendly dog buddy?” The dog wagged it’s tail and you smiled slightly. You carefully petted the dog and once you noticed that it was okay, you tried searching for a collar and a tag until you heard someone shout “Kal?” You looked at the dog, who was still chilling next to you until the owner came into view.

It was Henry Cavill and you started to slightly panic. You looked around you in disbelieve but tried to gather yourself since he came closer. Kal ran to Henry, who already saw you. “I’m so sorry, he get exited some times.” Henry told you as he walked up to you. “Oh it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I like dogs so it’s just fine.” You told him with a slight giggle. You wanted to punch yourself at how cringy you felt.

Henry smiled with a bit of relief. “Thank you.” there was a silence before Henry spoke up again, seemingly out of a trance. “I’m Henry by the way and this is Kal.” He reached out his hand for you to shake. You shook his hand “Hi, I’m Y/N” you both smiled. “Are you new here?” he asked you all of a sudden and it took you a bit by surprise. “I just… come here often and haven’t seen you around. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.” He quickly said and scratched his head from embarrassment.

You chuckled “I actually am new here. Just moved here a couple of weeks ago and I’ve never taken a walk this way before.” This time Henry looked surprised. “Oh where did you move from?” He asked you interested. You told him your home country and started chatting about it. “So you haven’t seen everything yet?” he asked you after a while laughing when you confessed that you haven’t seen a lot. You chuckled and shook your head. “Nope.”

“And your friends didn’t offer to take you this way?” you chuckled and shook your head “No, not really.” You haven’t really made friends yet but you choose to keep that for yourself yet. Henry seemed deep in thought while he looked at you. “Eh well, I have to go to work but I’m off around 5. If you’re interested, I know a couple of very good restaurants and the best places around town. I’d love to show you around.” Henry awaited your reaction while you tried to process it. “You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He added. “No, I’d actually would like that.” You told him, making him smile.

“Can I have your number?” he asked you with a smile and you gave him your phone. He put his number in it and called himself before giving the phone back to you. “I’ll text you. It was lovely to meet you Y/N, and I’ll see you tonight then.” You smiled. “It was nice meeting you too, see you tonight Henry.” You told him and you both smiled at each other before walking away.

You saw that you’ve chatted half an hour with each other. You never really went to go out with someone that you just met half an hour ago but the hell with that. You were changing and so were your habits. Besides, you were curious about this side of town. You went into town and sat down at another local coffee shop. You got some breakfast and read your book. You finished the book and decided to get a new one and a new cute outfit for tonight.

You went into a store and immediately found something nice and cute. You walked into another store for some self-care products and got into a old bookstore. You were wandering around and took your time before buying two books. You were happy with your purchases. You saw a little market and quickly bought a wine for yourself and made your way home. You checked your phone and saw a text from Henry “I’ll pick you up around 6, does that work for you?” you smiled and texted back “Absolutely, can’t wait!.”

You smiled and couldn’t believe it that you were going on a date with Henry Cavill. Was it a date? You questioned yourself and that was when doubt kicked in. You shrugged it off for now. You’ll notice when the time comes around. You laid down on the couch, your new book in hand and some candles lit. You put an alarm on so if you would fall asleep or lose track of time, you were sure to know.

At one point you got cold and decided to continue reading in the bathtub. You felt your muscles relax and got warm again. Your alarm went off, telling you that you should get ready. You put some different music on and put your new outfit on and applied some make-up. You texted Henry your address and did some finishing touches, applying some perfume until your doorbell rang. You took a deep breath, collected yourself and opened the door.

“Hey.” You smiled as you saw Henry with some flowers and wine. “Hey, I brought you flowers and some wine.” You smiled and stepped aside. “Thank you so much, come in.” You let Henry in and got the flowers and wine from him. “I didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked so I got some wine as well but then I figured, I don’t even know if you drink or like wine.” He was rambling and you chuckled. “It’s perfect, thank you very much.” He smiled.

“I like your apartment.” He told you honestly as he looked around him. “Thank you, been working on making it a cozy home.” You told him as you put the flowers in some water. “You’ve been doing a great job as far as I can see.” You chuckled. “Do you want something to drink or do you want to go?” You asked him a bit uncomfortable, not knowing how to behave for a moment. “I’d love to but I made a reservation. I hope you don’t mind?” he asked you and you felt a bit relieved to get out of your house. “That’s fine. Where are we going?” you asked him as you got your coat. “Oh let me help.” He told you and got your coat. You felt a bit flustered but let him do his thing. He helped you with your coat and you got your bag and keys.

You both walked out of your apartment complex and down the stairs. Henry offered his arm to you and you gratefully took it. You gave him a shy smile. He had a slight grin on his face, knowing how to treat a woman right.

You chatted a bit on your walk to the restaurant until you stood in front of it. It was a nice cozy little restaurant. Even though it was small, it still had very much style. Henry held the door open for you and you thanked him with a smile and a nod. Henry took your coat off and you felt flustered. Henry let the waitress now that he had reservations and she walked you both to the table. You could see the waitress trying to flirt with Henry but he ignored it. You didn’t knew if he ignored it on purpose or didn’t see it.

Henry held the chair for you and you sat down while he slightly adjusted the chair. God it was so hot how he treated you and you loved every single moment of it. Henry sat across from you and you decided on a red wine, which Henry got too.

Henry started asking some deeper stuff about you and why you left, which you answered honestly. When you fell into some deeper conversation you could feel the energy shift in the room. Henry only had attention for you and was listening intently. It felt like a very intimate moment. You asked him some deeper questions and continued to connect with him until the food arrived.

“Can I ask you something?” Henry asked you and you nodded. “Yeah of course” he smiled “I ehm Did you already know who I was when we met?” you knew what he was hinting at but noticed he was a little apprehensive about asking you. You gave him a warm smile. “Yes I did. I know you’re an actor, a great one at that if I might add. But I like the real you even more.” you told him honestly yet boldly, hinting that you liked him. He got a big smile and you could swear you saw him blush. “Thank you” you saw that he was a bit at lost for words but really meant the thank you, he gave you.

“I can’t believe I haven’t asked you yet but what do you do for work?” he asked you a bit surprised that he hadn’t asked you sooner. You smiled “I’m a multi media designer and writer actually. Right now, I have my own business and work for a big festival in my country. I’ll go back around festival season so I can work there. It’s doable from anywhere over the world but when the festival comes closer, it’s more practical for me to be there on sight.” Henry nodded and was very interested in what you told him.

“What about writing?” he asked you intrigued “Well, I write stories, a lot of them actually and it started out as a hobby and now it’s partially my job. I already wrote a book.” Henry looked even more intrigued. “Is it something I could now? What’s it called?” you chuckled and gave him the title of your book and you saw his eyes went big and he looked in utter surprise at you. “No way! Are you serious? That’s my favorite book!” You chuckled and saw him shift on his seat to get closer to you. “Thank you.” this time it was your time to be at lost for words.

“I’m actually in contact with Netflix about it… they might want to make it in a series. We have a meeting tomorrow.” He looked even more surprised. “No way, that would be amazing!” he chuckled and you smiled, nodding. “That would seriously be a hit at the box-office” he told you seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m just a big fan of your work.”  You chuckled “Thank you very much and it’s quite the irony isn’t it?” you chuckled as to earlier before when he asked you if you knew him already. Henry chuckled as well “Yeah, it sure is.”

Henry asked you a bit more about the festival and he could see the sparks in your eyes when you told him about it. You told him all the amazing things that happened, leaving out the not so fun parts out and saved them for later. Henry just smiled at how passionate you were about it until you realized how much and long you were talking about it. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking a while about it haven’t I?” You told him a bit embarrassed and he quickly shook his hand and softly placed his hand on top of yours. “Don’t worry about it! I love hearing you talk about it so passionately, I can only admire that.” You felt very flustered at his words and felt the heat spreading across your cheeks as you looked down.

You both finished dinner and when the check came in, Henry quickly took it. “I don’t mind splitting…” you told him but he shook his head. “No absolutely not, I asked you out and I want to.” He told you and you were assured that it was okay. You thanked him and he helped you get up out of your seat and with your coat again and obviously the door.

You both stood outside. “Ready to see this part of town?” he asked you with a smile and you nodded. He held out his arm for you again and you obviously took it. It was a little slippery from all the fallen snow and you held Henry’s arm a bit tighter. He showed you all of the gorgeous places around that part of town. You came across a cozy bar and you both looked at each other. “Want to get warmed up?” Henry asked you with a smile which you returned “Yeah definitely.” You chuckled out.

Henry held out the door for you and once again got your coat, helping you sit down. You ordered your favorite drink and Henry a Guinness. You chatted through the music and both got a little buzzed. Laughing at each other’s stories. You started to feel butterflies for the man in front of you. But not only that, it felt like you’ve met a real friend as well. There was a small band that started playing some live music.

It all just felt so incredibly right and at home as you looked around. You had great company, there was nice music, the bar was cozy and warm with Christmas decorations all over it, the drinks were nice, life felt good again. Like there was a reason that you’ve been through that formation. “Hey, you okay?” Henry asked when you were drifting away in thoughts. You looked at him and gave him a warm genuine smile “Yes, very much so.” He smiled a little flustered himself which you did too. It felt like you were in love high school kids again around each other. Even though it was so soon, you both hit if off great, perfectly even.

After a while you both decided to continue your journey again. Once outside you held his arm by yourself this time, catching his attention. “Oh, I’m sorry I thought.” You quickly got your hand away. Henry smiled adoringly at you. “No, it’s okay.” He told you reassuring and held out his arm again. You hid your smile in your scarf. “I found this perfect spot a couple of days ago. I don’t know how I haven’t found it sooner.” He told you as he led you to the place.

It was a small park with a little pond going through it. “If you stand just in the middle of the bridge, you can see the whole town” he told you and you both got on the wooden bridge. You were in awe of the sight laid out in front of you. “It’s gorgeous” You told him as you both stared at the lit up city.

“I’m pretty sure there are more spots like these around. Just haven’t found it yet. Maybe you would like to explore them together some time…?” he asked you carefully as if it was a heavy load on his chest. You turned around and couldn’t hide the smile “Together?” he got a bit nervous. “Only if you’d like.” He reassured you. “I’d love that.” You told him and he smiled, relief over his face. You both looked at each other and looked away with smiles on both of your faces. Yeah, definitely acting like high school kids. Henry lowered his arm slightly, bringing your arm with him and his hand went over the back of your hand until he intertwined your fingers together.

You both smiled again and felt flustered as your heart was taking leaps and the butterflies multiplied. “I really like your energy and company.” You smiled in your scarf again. “I really like yours too.” You told him and you could feel his thumb softly going over the back of your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked you softly scared to push the moment away. “Yeah, very much.”

It became silent again, making you feel a bit nervous as if this was the first time you fell in love with someone. The feeling of how right things felt and as if you’ve known him your entire life took over you. Like this was exactly where you needed to be. For once feeling that you were finally right where you should be and there for on the right path. You looked down at your hands which Henry noticed and did too. You looked at him and was unable to look away. The way the light of the moon glowed over his face, the freckle in his eye, the way that one curl fell to the front, the way he smiled and looked adoringly at you, they way his eyes held kindness than nothing more got you pulled into a pool of safety and comfort and it was at that moment, you were in deep.

Someone said that falling in love was literally taking a leap of faith. Falling in love was like surrendering to the other person and saying: “You can do anything to me” and hope for the best. The faith in someone not to take advantage. In a way that is completely mad because it takes a big risk and a leap of faith but no sensible human would let control out of their hands. Yet, love is able to do everything. For the first time in your life you weren’t afraid of falling in love anymore. You wanted to take this leap of faith and surrender to the strong feeling called love.

His hand cupped your cheek softly and you saw him looking at your features, taking in everything. Your hand found his coat and your fingers played with the texture of his coat. Automatically you pulled him slowly closer, his breath visible in the cold air just like yours until you felt warm air against your lips and you closed your eyes, getting ready to completely surrender.

You closed the gap between you two. His lips, warm and soft against yours, both sighting in the kiss, his hand slowly going to the back of your head, your fingers tugging into his coat as you pulled him closer. Henry deepened the kiss and you felt his tongue softly against yours. The kiss was so passionate and sensual, it was like something you’ve never experienced before, slowly taking both of your sweet time. It was addicting, you wanted more but fought against that feeling. You noticed that he was doing the same as the kiss slowed down and his lips separated from yours.

His forehead still resting against yours as you tried to catch your breath visibly in the cold air. “So… about that second date.” Henry broke the silence as you both started to laugh. “Yeah I’d like that.” Henry placed his lips against yours for a quick kiss, both smiling and grinning like idiots.

~ A year later ~

“Y/N! Over here!” there were flashes everywhere, blinding you slightly. Henry walked up to you with a big smile and placed his arm around you. You were on the red carpet for the tv series from your book. The day after your first date with Henry you had that meeting and let’s just say that it went amazing. You and Henry celebrated that night with sushi at your place and sharing the wine that he bought you.

More dates followed and the feeling grew stronger every day until one heated evening where you both couldn’t take it anymore. You both took that leap of faith and surrendered to each other. As if you both placed your sword down, accepting the faith. You fell in love before, yeah sure but this was different. You couldn’t explain it, it was a feeling like everything is how it should be.

You supported Henry with his new projects and accompanied him to shows and red carpets and he supported you with the making of your new series, the new book you were writing and stood next to you with the festival. That might’ve been his favorite memory. Now not only could he hear it, he could see it, feel it, experience it. He saw you in a new light, making him fall even deeper in love. The passion and love radiating from you with that festival… it radiated off of you and lifted up everyone who came across you. It was almost magical..

And now, he accompanied you on the red carpet. He loved that you got the recognition that you deserved. He wanted the world to see you shine. He knew you were something else in every good way possible and you were finally able to shine your light upon the world and show what you were capable of. Henry gladly stood besides you. in all the good and all the bad. It was faith after all.

taglist: @thereisa8ella @chrisevansdaughter @sarahrogersevans

[chuuyascumsock]

Calling Him Pretty/Complimenting Him

Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya Drabbles

Dazai Osamu

You had just gotten ready to leave for work on a snowy, winter morning, Dazai waiting for you outside of your apartment complex. He wore his usual work clothes with the exception of a scarf you made him wrapped around his bandaged neck.

As you walked alongside Dazai, flurries of snowflakes began to fall, adding to the dusting of the already white blanket on the ground. You stuck your tongue out to catch a few to which Dazai chuckled at.

Looking over to him, your eyes softened at how he laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling to a close. Unlike the common facade he put upon himself, he seemed genuinely amused by your antics and just yourself in general.

“You have a beautiful smile, Osamu,” You mindlessly spoke, adoration lacing your tone.

His laugh was cut abruptly by a choke and sputtering of “what”s and “huh”. His face which had been pink with cold had warmed into a deep blush, “Belladonna… I—“

You reached over to cup his cheeks in your hands before pulling him into a quick kiss, “I’m so lucky to have you.” You finished off before continuing to walk to work, leaving Dazai as a flustered, incoherent, mumbling mess behind you.

Nakahara Chuuya

The two of you had been sitting at the pier on a late summer’s evening after having just left a restaurant. Your legs swayed back and forth off the front of the walk as Chuuya sat with one leg dangling and the other bunched into his chest, his hands supporting his weight as he leaned back.

Sitting in silence with the occasional quiet car horn honking in the distance, you glanced over from the corner of your eyes, catching a glimpse of the city lights flickering behind Chuuya. His face wore a relaxed expression, the minuscule of a small smile gracing his lips.

Your head turned subtly until you faced him completely, admiring the way stray strands of hair caressed the apples of his cheeks and his neck.

Feeling your stare, Chuuya looked over to you, a look of confusion falling over his face, “What are you—“

“You’re so pretty, did you know that?” Your lips curl into a soft grin.

Stuttering over his cut off words, Chuuya stared at you, a light blush settling over his face.

“I love everything about you,” You added thoughtlessly, your lips widening into a close-eyed smile. Though hearing the lack of response made you open your eyes into a gentle look, “Chuuya, are you—!!” You squeaked as a hand wrapped around the nape of your neck and pulled you into a kiss.

With the faint taste of wine on your lips, you flushed when he pulled away, “God, I love you.”

—

I got the idea from Dazai canonically not being able to process/take compliments (mostly from that one scene in BSD Wan with Atsushi showing his appreciation for Dazai). And yeah, maybe I did just subtly hint about what season and time of day vibes these men give me, what about it 🫵🤨?

[storiesoflilies]

cherry cola, cigarette kisses

pairing: guitarist!toji fushiguro x singer!reader

warnings: slight age gap (reader is 25, toji is 30), mentions of drugs and alcohol, smoking, swearing.

a/n: a little drabble for the ‘jujutsu journal’ collab by @ayyy-pee. dividers by @/benkeibear.

people came to see the band live really just to catch a glimpse of the two of them in person.

of her, with her cream linen summer dresses, lips painted red like the cans of cherry cola she drank on stage between sets, dainty gold rings adorning her fingers, silk red ribbons tied in pretty big bows on her wrists, and matching platform heels. her with a voice so cool and suave, like ice, that it made all the boys go crazy for her.

and of him, toji fushiguro. with his cigarette smoke voice, all husk and fire, and veiny hands that held his guitar with practiced finesse. with his guitar solos that made you want to throw your head back in ecstasy, and his rolled-up sleeves to expose his corded forearms, driving the girls wild with desire.

people came to see them play and see the way they moved together.

when she sang, toji would close his eyes and tilt his head back, lost in the ecstasy that was the privilege of listening to her art. plucking the strings of his electric guitar along to play a tune to support her voice, like a flowing stream carrying along a floating feather. he let the vibrations of the bass through the speakers and reverberate into his bones, feeling the thrum of the crowd with their phone lights flashing and swaying, and inhaling the scent of sweat and dreams in the air.

god, his girlfriend was so fucking cool, and they all didn’t even know the half of it.

they didn’t know how pretty she looked when she danced naked in the dark in front of their penthouse views of the city lights below. with red wine swirling in her glass amidst a smokey haze, he’d exhale a big fume of his joint, and think to himself that he was so goddamn lucky to have picked up that crumpled, wet ‘guitarist wanted’ flyer all those years ago.

of course, the world didn’t know just how lucky toji was just yet.

she’d sing such pretty words, especially about the world thinking you were too young to understand the things you felt. words about everyone telling you that you couldn’t possibly grasp the way things were supposed to work, when in fact, you actually did – perhaps better than everyone else did. toji had been one of those things for her before. their bandmates had been adamantly against the older man pursuing her when they first met four years ago. she was their sweet little cherry, and they didn’t want the ash of him and his cigarettes falling on and ruining her delicate skin.

“she’s too young,” they’d all said. “too dumb to know what you are, fushiguro.”

toji had let their words get to him, the indignant and prideful fire within razing everything to the ground, and disappeared into his studio apartment with only his bong for company. he’d been there for a long time, refusing to answer any of her or the band’s calls, until she showed up knocking at his door in the middle of the night. her makeup was smeared and her vanilla scented perfume still lingered, while he was lost halfway in a dream of minefields, complex labyrinths, and booby traps.

“don’t leave me too,” she’d begged, a tumbling mess of tears, and practically collapsed as she gripped his arms for all she was worth. “not you, please.”

he melted into her right there and then.

toji shushed her softly, holding her close as they lay there in a tangled heap on the floor. he watched as his tears landed on her hair, feeling his high crashing down. “but i’m no good for you, babygirl.”

“nobody is good for each other, toji. love is fucking awful and tears your heart apart, but i still want to do it with you.”

and that was that.

but nobody else knew about them.

they’d been a secret for two years now, and toji had decided that this was it – she was it. his best girl, no other woman would ever compare to her. but she was so nervous, always so good, about what their bandmates and the fans would think. she didn’t want to break anybody’s heart, but toji didn’t care about that anymore.

they belonged to each other, and fuck, the whole world needed to know it. and if they didn’t like it? well, they could go and choke on it.

she swayed back and forth, staring at toji with heart eyes, and and teasingly stuck her tongue out to the side. that was his cue, and the fans knew it too, for him to take control of the music with his fingers and let himself and his guitar run wild. of course, it was to put on a good show, but he knew it was really because she loved his guitar solos more than anyone else did.

“i want you to play guitar for me all the time,” she said one time, teeth stained gray from the wine, twirling in lazy circles as toji strummed his acoustic guitar. “especially when i die, so i can hear the sound of heaven before i go.”

toji abruptly stopped playing and frowned, “don’t even talk about something like that. i’m supposed to go before you anyways, y’know i’m the old one.

“shut up, i can’t live without you.”

he stared at her as he played, never taking his eyes off how she danced and swayed. he watched as she went over to their drummer and pressed a kiss to their cheek. a hot flare of jealousy coursed through his blood, and toji picked up the pace, forcing their drummer to focus and step it up a notch to keep up with him. sweat dripped from his forehead, his dark hair sticking to it in stringy strands, and he licked his lips, tasting salt.

“yeah,” toji thought. “it’s do or die now.”

she took a swig of cherry cola, lipstick stains on the rim, as toji coaxed his solo into an earth-shattering crescendo, sending the crowd into a frenzy of whoops and cheers. still, he never took his eyes off her, following her every movement as he stopped the music suddenly in a dramatic conclusion.

the crowd clapped for the end of the song, and toji lit a cigarette to settle his buzzing nerves, his chest heaving with exertion. she floated over to him, smiling softly, red lipstick slightly faded from the cola, licking her lips as she tilted her head at him. he knew she could read him like a book; she knew something was wrong.

“what is it?” she whispered, being careful not to face the crowd directly.

“let’s do it, babygirl,” toji rasped, taking another long drag from his cigarette.

her eyebrows shot up, and she gaped. “now, toji? right now?”

“yeah, c’mon. let’s drive ‘em all crazy,” he chuckled, blowing his smoke away from her face.

“you mean it, toji?” she frowned, her pretty little heart so goddamn nervous about everyone else’s feelings but her own.

toji flicked his cigarette, adjusted his guitar to his side, and smiled. “let’s not think anymore, let’s just do.”

with that, he pulled her in by the waist and planted a kiss right onto her plush lips. bitter cigarette and sweet cherry flavors mixed intoxicatingly as their mouths danced together, eliciting shocked gasps followed by an almost deathly silence.

and then, it exploded.

the camera flashes went astronomically wild, accompanied cheering that bordered on plain screaming and raving, as a thousand hearts broke and millions swooned. she relaxed into him, putting her hands onto his broad, sweaty chest, flushed from the heat of the moment and the thrill of performing. they pulled apart, his lips swollen and hers tingly, and it was just the two of them amidst the eyes of thousands. she giggled, a nervous bark at the revelation of how their lives were going to change now, and toji beamed.

“you’re trouble, toji fushiguro,” she breathed out, chin on his chest as she gazed up at him in adoration.

toji chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead and mumbled, “i’m your trouble.”

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[heliads]

Crows

Everyone has a symbol on their palm that somehow relates to your soulmate. You have a crow, which led to you joining the Dregs in Ketterdam. Every Dreg has a soulmate symbol that in no way relates to you- except Kaz Brekker, as no one has seen his palm at all.

masterlist

You stare at the crow inked into your palm. It stares back at you.

You hesitate for a second longer, then snap your hand shut, letting the unblinking eyes of the black bird disappear back behind your fingers. This is the price of a soulmate, of wandering too far from your home and never finding the one person you were meant to belong to. This is the price of being a canal rat, a Grisha, of being anybody still foolish enough to believe in a soulmate in the midst of all this darkness.

Soulmates may technically be real, but people only believe in them as much as they do Inej’s Saints, or anybody else’s long-held dreams. Between the wars and Shadow Folds springing up across the world, it’s getting pretty hard for anyone to find their soulmate at all. It’s supposed to be simple- one mark on each person’s palm to designate their soulmate, a mark that will disappear at the first touch of their hand on yours. Sometimes, you wonder what mark would be on your soulmate’s skin: a flame or sparking coal, maybe, for your branch of the Small Science, or a skull, for all the death that seems to shadow your path.

The crow has been on your palm for as long as you can remember, as long as anyone has ever had a soulmate. It was there when you were born, but judging by your trend in luck, it’ll probably be there until the day you die. Soulmates aren’t for girls like you, girls who flee their homes to trade a life amongst the Grisha for a death in the gray-streaked streets of Ketterdam.

You were born an Inferni, that much is true. You witnessed the Ravkan civil war, and you were there to flee it for safer tides. You weren’t sure what cruel twist of fate landed you in Ketterdam, one of the worst places for a Grisha, but you were at least able to keep your identity a secret. You’d seen what happened to the luckless Grisha trapped inside neverending indentures, and you know what tortures would await you if word of your firestarting habit got out. So, you never spoke a word, and pretended you were just another otkazat’sya traveler in need of safe harbors.

You hadn’t been wandering the canals long before your path turned into the Barrel. It wasn’t an intentional choice, just an eventual fate that you would end up in the worst part of the twisting sidestreets. There was no escaping the Barrel, not unless you were a wealthy mercher or some other lucky sap who the Saints blessed with the ability to avoid getting dragged down into the muck like everyone else. You learned the names and locations of all the gangs like everyone else: Black Tips, Dime Lions, and most notably, the Dregs.

Your breath had caught in your chest when you heard of them. They frequented the Crow Club, some were called the crows themselves, their leader had a crow on his cane. Everything seemed to point in a glaringly obvious arrow towards your soulmate mark: a crow for a crow. Where else could you have ended up?

You knew better now. You had met Kaz Brekker, the boy with the crow cane, and you knew that any chance of finding a soulmate among his crew was near impossible. You had been walking home after dark one night when you found yourself set upon by a duo of thugs. Not Dregs, possibly Dime Lions with a bone to pick, angry that the Dregs had such control over the pigeons of Fifth Harbor. They had been expecting an easy mark, somebody they could thunk over the head with a pair of brass knuckles and walk away without a scratch. They weren’t expecting you to beat them into the dust in a matter of seconds.

No matter your status or location, you were still a Grisha, and you’d been trained by Botkin long enough to be able to defend yourself. When the goons were finally laid at your feet, unconscious, you had allowed yourself a moment to smile. It was easy to feel low, a gutter rat in the canals of Ketterdam, but being able to use your fists again almost reminded you of the training halls at the Little Palace.

Enjoying this one brief memory, though, was a slip that you shouldn’t have made. When you looked up, you weren’t alone- a boy stood before you, gloved hands clasped over a crow’s head cane. You didn’t particularly know who he was, or make the connection between him and the Dregs, and moved to get out of the alleyway before he decided to make the same mistake as the thugs. He had slid his cane in front of you, fast as lightning, stopping you in your place. “I think we should speak about your future in Ketterdam.”

You were annoyed at this sudden interruption. “I think you should leave me alone.” You had retorted, using your hand to move his cane back in front of him. You had also been irritated, both by the fight and this boy’s brashness, and slipped your hand into his pocket for just a second to retrieve a newly shined pocketwatch. No one could have possibly seen it, this tiny movement, and the boy certainly didn’t, as he let you pass without another word.

You were still grumbling when you got back to the ramshackle building you called an apartment complex, and your landlady had raised an eyebrow when she saw you. “What, have you finally realized that it was a fool’s errand to come here?” She asked, and you shook your head. “No, just bothered by some guy with a crow’s head cane. Weird prop to carry around.” The woman had blanched, face suddenly seeming to age a decade in a second.

She had bustled over to you, voice low as if terrified that the boy might be able to hear her. “That’s Kaz Brekker, you fool. He runs the Dregs. Saints, he might even run this city.” She had hurried away from you then, forcing herself back to her work. Even then, you had known she was wrong. There was nothing the Saints could know about Kaz Brekker, nothing they could even hope to involve themselves in.

You had shaken the experience away, climbing up the stairs to your apartment. When you pushed open the door, however, you saw that you were not alone. The boy from earlier was back, this time leaning against the far wall. He gestured for you to close the door, which you did, albeit hesitantly. You had no idea how he got in- you had changed the locks when you first arrived at the apartment all those weeks ago, barred the windows, made it impossible for anyone except you to make their way inside. Yet here he stood, with knowledge of both where you lived and how to get there before you. It was impossible. Well, impossible for anyone except Kaz. The Barrel was his home, after all, and you doubt Dirtyhands had ever bothered to knock.

His fingers tapped the crow’s head of his cane. “I don’t think we quite finished our conversation. You could do more than just wash dishes, you know. The Dregs could always use a new member. That, and I’d like you to return what you stole from me. I’m impressed, actually. No one is that good at pickpocketing except me, and no one would try something that daring except for, well, me. I think you’d fit in nicely with my gang.”

You had folded your arms across your chest. “And I’m meant to believe that my pickpocketing was impressive enough to warrant a visit from Dirtyhands himself?” Kaz had shrugged, the movement stiff in the darkness. “You can believe whatever you want. I just want to see if you’ll take a good offer when you see one.” After a while, you had accepted, and Kaz had left, but not before whispering something in your ear. “If you steal from me again, I will cut off both of your hands. I don’t tolerate theft, not from me.”

You had heard enough threats to know that he meant good on this one. As it turned out, however, Kaz would not have to fear theft from you again. You found a home amongst the Dregs, a home you weren’t likely to give up due to the thrill of pickpocketing Kaz Brekker. You had a room at the Slat, a place at the table, a voice in the masses. It was something you weren’t willing to trade away.

Even amongst the many crows of Kaz Brekker’s gang, however, you still couldn’t let the issue of your soulmate go. You can remember one night, late into the night’s bells when you, Inej, Jesper, Matthias, and Nina had all made the journey up to Kaz’s office, slumped against chairs and floorboards and chatting the night away. Kaz was sitting at his desk, apparently doing paperwork, but you did notice that he kept coincidentally chiming into conversations even when he said he wasn’t paying attention.

At some point, Nina steered the conversation to soulmates. She held up her now blank palm, proclaiming that at some point it had held a wolf’s head. She had been terrified, she said, terrified that she would have a drüskelle or some other weirdo for a soulmate. Matthias had acted affronted at that, but if he was feeling particularly charitable he might relent and tell the gathered Crows about how he’d had a heart on his hand, and how frustrated he’d been when it had disappeared the second he’d locked Nina away on that slaver’s ship.

Nina had turned to Kaz then, intent on poking the bear and having some sort of fun that night. “So, Brekker, what’s your soulmate mark? Or do you not do that sort of zealot human thing we call soulmates?” Kaz had raised his eyebrows, looking distinctly bored. Of everyone in the room, you’re pretty sure that only you and Inej would be able to tell that he was holding back a smile.

“I’m not entirely a monster, Zenik. I do have a soulmate.” Nina had leaned forward, intent on clarification. “Then what’s the mark? We can’t just take a gander at your palm, remember? They’re hidden by your gloves.” Kaz had let his papers fall back to the desk with a thunk, turning to her with an expression laced with both exasperation and studied disinterest. “It’s a fire. A small flame. Happy?”

Nina had looked fascinated. “Beatific. I wonder what that means. An Inferni, maybe?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Kaz. “Maybe it’s supposed to show that they’re devilishly attractive. Really hot, get it?” Kaz had made a sound that was either a dry cough or his best attempt at a laugh. “Hilarious, Nina. I see why you’re a Heartrender- you could make a person want to die based on your jokes alone.”

Nina had acted affronted, making sure everybody knew that her jokes were hilarious, thank you very much, but you couldn’t help but think about the repercussions of this. What if Nina’s first guess was right, and Kaz’s soulmate was an Inferni, like you? If your tattoo was of a crow, and Kaz’s was of flames, then surely it was too much to just be a coincidence. You’d never know, anyway, because soulmate marks only disappeared on flesh to flesh contact. Kaz always wore gloves, so you’d never find out the truth. Besides, you remind yourself, the chances of this were superbly unlikely. A crow could mean anything, so could a flame. You need to stop getting your hopes up.

Despite the possibilities and impossibilities, you’ve still been running with the canal rats long enough to know that you can’t dwell forever on what might have been. You’re a Dreg now and you need to focus on that instead. When Kaz announces an upcoming settlement with the Razorgulls, yet another one of the gangs that roam the streets of Ketterdam, you’re eager for a chance at something entertaining after a long while of nothing. Kaz will meet with the leader to negotiate their way through a claim on the various pigeons coming and going from the harbors, and that will be that.

However, this is the Barrel. Negotiations are rarely easy. This is why, when Jesper arrives as Kaz’s second, he’s shunted aside to a separate room to stay out the duration of the meeting. Kaz and the leader of the Razorgulls are on the opposite side of the street in an empty courtyard, far away from any help should they need it. Kaz was prepared for this, as always, and set up a plan. Inej will shadow Jesper, making sure that he’ll have a way out if he needs it, and you’ll be shadowing Kaz himself. You’re not sure why Kaz chose you instead of his faithful Wraith, only that he rarely makes decisions based on nothing and you would do best to follow his judgement. The times he’s let you down are few and far between.

You and Inej split up, staying amongst the rooftops to avoid detection. She follows Jesper and the Razorgulls’ second into a crowded tavern, and you head towards the abandoned courtyard. Ahead of you, Kaz’s cane taps against the crooked cobblestones as he wends through desiccated hedges and marble statues severely lashed by time. The Razorgulls’ leader is waiting for him there, but you can’t follow now. Instead, you stick to the edges, climbing stairs and making your way into the empty buildings that watch over the courtyard like silent sentries.

You’re not sure what trouble you’ll be walking into, only that it will exist in some crooked form. There’s no logical reason the Razorgulls would want the seconds in another building unless they were planning something, and no reason Kaz would agree to this at all if he wasn’t sure you could have his back when he needed it. As you creep along the buildings, keeping a careful eye on the proceedings through the few broken windows, you notice that the two gang leaders have begun to speak. You can’t quite hear what they’re saying, only a few whispers here and there.

You’re just rounding a corner, ready to make your way into a neighbouring building, when the lights flash off, landing you in darkness. Instantly, you panic. Lighting is scarce here, only the moonbeams and a couple of oil lamps, but there’s no reason they should have shut down this quickly. You hear footsteps on the stairs, along with two pairs of voices: Razorgulls, discussing how important it is to stick to the shadows so Brekker can’t see them.

Your heartbeat thuds in the dark as you realize they haven’t spotted you yet. In fact, they have no idea you’re there at all. When Kaz was giving directions for the negotiations, he specifically told you to make sure that you weren’t seen, even if rival gang members showed up. If you want to go along with his plan and make sure he lives to see the end of this shoddy deal, you’ll have to stay in hiding.

This, however, is easier said than done. If the lights were on, you would be able to see the wooden beams of the floor and tell which ones would creak and which wouldn’t, which large shapes of furniture to avoid and which holes in the floorboards you should step over. A chill washes over you as you realize what you’ll have to do. You move your fingers together, quick as scraping flint against steel, and a small flame materializes at the pad of your index finger. It’s small, barely visible to anyone except you, but it’s enough to help you get out of the room before the Razorgulls notice you.

Even as the thrill of using your Grisha power after so long sends a charge of energy through your veins, you can’t help but feel uneasy. The only reason you’ve been able to survive in the Barrel and avoid unwholesome indentures is because you never used your power, not once. Even if it was necessary, this still feels bad.

You’ve found a new hiding place in the corner of the room and move to extinguish your flame now that it’s no longer useful. However, it’s been too long since you last used your powers as an Inferni, and your concentration wavers. The flame grows brighter and you start to panic, eventually clamping down your mind and forcing the fire to disappear.

The disappearance comes too late. The Razorgulls have seen some light in the shadow that wasn’t supposed to be there and are now edging your way, careful not to let you out of their sight. You have no choice but to take them down, standing over their unconscious bodies and feeling a wave of nerves crest over you. Kaz specifically said not to mess with the gangs, but you had no choice. You can only hope that this won’t ruin his plan too much.

Quietly, you step through the room and unlock a window, letting the panes move open in the wind. Now, you can hear the voices echoing up from the courtyard, and your heart sinks as you realize that things aren’t going well. The leader of the Razorgulls has revealed his ace in the hole, that he’s got guns trained on Kaz right now. Kaz just laughs, the sound as cold as rocks scraping against a ship’s hull, ready to damn a hundred men to the depths of the ocean.

“Do you, though? Who are the men you sent up- Dirk Struik and Niels ter Avest? Your coffers may be deep, but mine are more extensive. Gentlemen, take down this man, if you please.” Your stomach twists as you realize Kaz was counting on the men you just knocked out. Without them, he’s alone with a man pointing a gun at his skull. There’s no way around this- you’re going to have to break your most cherished rule again.

You thrust your palms out in front of you, letting tendrils of flame arc out of your hands and cascade onto the leader of the Razorgulls. He twists in agony, burns appearing on his skin. He only suffers for a moment or two, however, until he becomes unconscious due to the pain. Kaz’s head jerks up, staring at you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Kaz Brekker truly surprised, but he most certainly was not expecting this.

You don’t think there’s anything you can do except try to explain yourself. You jump down from the open window, letting your heels land lightly on the stones of the courtyard. Kaz seems frozen in place for a second, then moves forward until you’re standing only a few feet apart. Your breath comes wild in your chest. Kaz speaks after the longest of moments. “Where were the guards?”

You hold up your hands uselessly. “They saw me. I had to take them out.” Kaz’s eyes dart to your palms, faster than a sharpshooter pulling the trigger. He takes in the smoke still curling around your fingers, then the crow mark in the middle of your hand. When he speaks again, his voice has lost its icy edge. He just sounds like a boy again, young and confused.

“You never told me you were an Inferni.” You sigh. “It was a secret I needed to keep. You know what happens in the Barrel, the indentures and the tortures. If I used my powers, I would have died a long time ago.” Kaz jerks his head in a harsh nod. “I don’t blame you for surviving. We have all committed worse crimes to live” Your voice gains a confidence it didn’t have before. “Then what do you blame me for? You’re upset, anyone could tell that. If it’s not with me keeping my Grisha abilities a secret, then what is it?”

Kaz hesitates, as if pulling himself back from a yawning chasm. “Me.” You stare at him, at the indecision wracking his brow, then at the way he’s pulling at the glove at his palm. His hands almost seem to shake, like he’s still not sure that he’s doing the right thing. He pulls the glove off, inch by inch, seeming to dread every second that his hands aren’t covered by the black leather. At last, you see it- the mark on his palm, the flame sparking into being right there on his hand.

He reaches out tentatively. “I need to know.” He manages, and at last you understand. You move your own hand slowly, stopping when it’s only a few inches away from his. Kaz squares his shoulders, as if preparing to jump from another broken building, then closes the distance and lets his hand rest lightly on yours. As you watch, your soulmate tattoos shimmer for a second and then vanish, erasing from your skin as if they’d never been there at all.

Kaz lets his gaze linger on the empty skin of your palm, and then he seems to come back into himself, snatching his hand away like he’s flinching from a blow. You can see it in his eyes that he regrets this, that he can’t keep his hand there, but you understand. You can understand quite a lot from him.

Kaz’s voice is like the grating of metal. “I’m not somebody you want as a soulmate. It won’t be easy. It won’t be good.” You laugh quietly in the night. “If I wanted something easy, I would have never come to Ketterdam.” Kaz nods at this, something almost like relief in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.” You manage. Something almost like a smile flits across Kaz’s face. “Good. We have much to discuss.”

[inagetawaycarxo]

Caught Out | Connor Rhodes FT Jay Halstead

Requested By Anon [I got a request, it is Connor x Reader x Jay. Reader is a pediatric trauma surgeon and very talented. She and Jay are dating when she finds Jay cheating on her with Hailey. The reader decides to leave Chicago and go to the city Connor is in. A few months later Jay shows up at Connor's door begging for the reader to take him back until he finds out she and Connor are dating and is happier with him.]

Pairings: Jay Halstead x Reader, Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton, Connor Rhodes x Reader

Featuring: Y/n, Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton, Connor Rhodes.

Summary: Y/n finds Jay cheating on her with Hailey and leaves Chicago to go see Connor

Warnings: angst, cheating, nudity, sex [kind of], betrayal, crying, jealousy, mentions of explicit sexual content, errors I missed.

w/c: 1513

Your eyes were heavy with sleep. All you wanted to do was go home and sleep. Especially you wanted to cuddle with Jay. But no, the universe had other plans for you.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you parked your car. Putting the handbrake up. Then turned the car off. You grabbed your work bag from the front seat. Slinging it across your shoulder. You took the keys out of the ignition, as you opened the door. Getting out of the car. Shutting the door and locking the car. You quickly rushed into the apartment complex. Rushing to the apartment you shared with Jay, all the while taking the apartment keys out of the bag.

Once you reached the door. You put the keys into the keyhole. Unlocking the lock.

Your hand grabbing the doorknob. Turning the doorknob. Opening the door, and walking in. you closed the door behind you. Your eyebrows furrow as you heard moaning and squeaking of the mattress coming from the bedroom. Dread filled your body as you slowly walked to the bedroom. Breathing hitching. You peaked at the half-open door. Your hands cupping your mouth. Muffling the gasp. Your heart felt like it was shattering into millions of pieces. As you looked away. Yet the image of Jay on top of Hailey, thrusting into her was burned into your mind.

You turned around. Rushing to the front door. Your gasp must have startled them because you heard the rustling of sheets, a few curse words slipping out of Jay’s mouth. It made you rush to the door faster.

Jay rushed to put his boxers on. Hailey quickly put her clothes on. Guilt washing over them.

“Y/n,” He shouted. As he exited the bedroom door. Hailey trailing after him. He saw you stop at the door. Hand hovering above the doorknob.

You turned around to face him with a look of heartbreak. Tears falling from your eyes like a waterfall. Lip quivering. Jay felt his heart clench. Guilt washing over him like a ton of bricks.

He was about to say something, but he heard footsteps behind him. Your gaze turned to Hailey, looking more crestfallen. You turned around quickly. Grabbing the doorknob and twisting it open. Opening the door and exiting the apartment as well as his life. Tears fell from his eyes, but he only had himself blame….

Tears blurred your vision as you drove out of Chicago. All you had on you was your work bag. Lucky had it had your wallet and phone in it.

You quickly wiped the tears away with the back of your hand. Hearing your phone vibrate constantly. You ignored it. Focusing on the road. Heartache engulfing you. You turned the radio on low hoping it would soothe your heartache, but it didn’t.

It seemed the universe didn’t want you to forget what you just saw. A sad song about cheating played on the radio. It made you burst into tears, as you drove. Doing your best to subside them. The only person who knew you well enough was Connor. So, that’s where you were going. Maybe if you would have picked him and left Chicago with him, instead of turning him down then none of this would have occurred and you wouldn’t have been heartbroken.

Self-doubt started to crawl inside of you. You should have seen the signs. The stolen glances, late nights at work, or what he claimed as work. How your works always put a strain on the relationship. But then anger sets in. he was the one that cheated on you. He was the one that wrecked the relationship. He used to accuse you of cheating on him with Connor before Connor left Chicago, but he was the one that was being unfaithful, he was the hypocrite.

It would have hurt less if it were a random girl, but no it was Hailey. His ex-girlfriend and his partner. You had a feeling this would happen. You just hoped it never did…

It was early morning when you reached Connor’s place. Parking your ear in his driveway. You put the car in park, putting the handbrake up. Turning the car off, taking keys out of the ignition. Then grabbed your bag. Opening the door. Slowly getting out of the car. Shutting the door then locking the car. Walking sheepishly to his door. Heart hammering against your ribcage. Hopefully, you aren’t intruding.

Connor must have heard a commotion outside and came to investigate. The door swinging open as you reached the top step.

Connor looked slightly shocked to see you outside of his door. His shock turned into a concerned look as he took in your appearance.

“Y/n, what happened?” He asked. As he rushed over to you. His hands cupping the side of your face. His touch made you melt. More tears fell from your eyes. Lips trembling.

“He cheated on me with Hailey,” You gasped out. Anger rises inside of Connor. Has Jay lost his mind? He thought to himself.

You fell into Connor. Connor wrapped his arms around you. As you bury your head into his chest. Crying till there were no tears left.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Connor spoke softly as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

Connor led you inside of his place. Sitting down with you on the couch. Hugging you close to his chest. Eventually, you told him what you saw. Connor’s jaw ticked as you told him. You eventually fell asleep on Connor’s lap. Not that Connor minded it. Connor starred at you as you slept on his lap. His fingers combing through your hair ever so softly. He loved you, and he was going to prove it to you now that you were no longer with Jay…

TWO MONTHS LATER

You felt two arms wrap around your waist from behind you. Connor pressed himself into your back. While you poured coffee.

“You look so sexy in my shirt,” Connor spoke into your ear. He pressed a soft kiss against the shell of your ear. His beard trickling your earlobe making you giggly.

“Mm... just in your shirt?” You teased. Quirking one eyebrow.

“You look sexy all the time, even sexier when you are naked, underneath me,” He spoke. Voice deepening with lust.

Connor spun you around to face him. You smiled as you saw his eyes darken with lust. Taking your lower lip in between your bottom lip.

“We have work soon,” You spoke. Arching an eyebrow as a warning.

“Then let’s make it a quickie,” He growled out. Before he could kiss you, the doorbell rang, as well as a knock interrupting Connor and you.

Connor let out a frustrated huff. As you made your way to the door.

“If it’s the next-door neighbor, tell then I’m out of sugar,” He spoke. You let out a laugh. Grabbing the doorknob and twisting it open.

You felt your heart leap into your throat. Your eyes were wide as you looked at the person in shock. The person happened to be Jay.

“Jay…” You brokenly gasped out.

“Y/n, I finally found you,” Jay gasped out. He looked like he hadn’t slept in months. Your heart was beating so fast you could barely hear your thoughts. Breathing quickening.

“W…what are you doing here?” You gasped out.

“I want you back, I’m sorry for cheating on you with Hailey,” Jay started to say. Taking a deep breath. When he said Hailey’s name your mind immediately flashed back to the night you saw him cheating on you with her. The words cheating and Hailey stung. It was like he was pouring salt on a wound.

“These past few months have been hell, I’ve been torturing myself these last few months, Hailey isn’t the one I want, it’s you,” Jay confessed. While you stared at him in shock.

You were about to say something when you felt Connor wrap a protective arm around you. Pulling you close to him. Jay looked slightly uncomfortable, confused, and jealous. Jealous of the fact you melted right into Connors touch. Like you felt safe.

Connor glared at Jay. His jaw clenching. He would have punched Jay, for what he put you through, but restrained himself.

“You have a lot of nerve coming here, in fact, you can keep torturing yourself because she doesn’t want you back,” Connor snapped. Speaking for you. You felt your heart flutter. Glad Connor spoke up for you. Because you couldn’t form the words to speak.

She can speak for herself,” Jay growled. Glaring at Connor.

“I am speaking for the both of us, and as her boyfriend, who loves her more than you ever did or could, LEAVE,” Connor growled out. Slamming the door shut, but not before Jay saw Connor give you a soft kiss on the cheek. Your face lighting up with happiness. Jay felt his heart shatter into pieces. He lost you for good. His insecurities and jealousy of Connor and your friendship pushing you towards Connor. Jay felt heartache flood through him, he only had himself to blame…

[nanasparadise]

Hiya! Can i have either (aged up) Narancia or Abbacchio [you choose!] and with prompt [28, 25, 24, 19, and/or16*] Thx so much luv <3 {*if you wanna really impress us all... us them all ;3}

Hiya love! Sorry for the wait, I’m still quite busy with school, but that should be over soon (hopefully). Please enjoy! <3

“Shadow” Yan! Abbacchio x gender-neutral reader

16. I will protect you from everything.

25. You shouldn’t have tested my limits.

28. You have no idea how much I have been holding myself back for you.

Summary: Abbacchio has been following around for a while. After a rather unfortunate incident, he finally gets closer to you.

TW: toxic relationship, homicide, slight gore, stalking, mentions of retching, angst, intoxication, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life.

Word count: 4467

Beta-read by the lovely @dear-yandere

Abbacchio loved watching you from afar. The smile painted across your face gave him purpose, a meaning, in his quite miserable life. Even if it was directed towards your date.

The Italian mobster tried to tell himself he didn’t mind. The intimate chatter as the two of you leaned over the table, the staring into each other’s eyes, his hand brushing over your forearm, his lips dangerously close to yours- Abbacchio suddenly averted his gaze from the window he had been watching you. No, he did care. As much as he wanted to see you happy, he couldn’t help but feel jealousy rising up inside of him, infesting his mind like a parasite. “You have no right to be jealous, Leone,” he reprimanded himself, “they don’t even know your name.” This thought alone put the white-haired man into a state of sulking, making him wish he had a bottle of wine with him to dwell on and drink away the pain.

In the end, Abbacchio could only blame himself. After all, he chose to not approach you, seeing himself unworthy of your presence and affection. Besides, who could truly love him after what he’d done? What he still had been doing? Accepting briberies, being unable to protect his police partner, becoming the very thing he’d sworn he would save the city from, it all took a toll on the young man and his self-esteem. He couldn’t drag you down in his world of crime and bitterness, not wanting to tarnish the very happiness you radiated and he cherished so much.

But seeing you all flustered and bashful because of someone who wasn’t him made Abbacchio reconsider his initial avoidance. The mafioso couldn’t handle the scene unfolding in front of him anymore, resentment boiling inside him. Would it really satisfy him remaining your unknown shadow? On the other hand, could he be so selfish and worm his way into your life, risking your safety and maybe even your happiness? Yes, he loved to observe you from afar, but he would so much more prefer for you to see him, recognise him, touch him. Just like you did with your date. With all these bitter feelings still clinging onto him, Abbacchio turned around to leave this area of the city. But not before stopping by a store to buy a bottle or two of red wine…

Meanwhile, you were blissfully unaware of your shadow’s internal struggle. Instead, you enjoyed the mild evening breeze of Naples hitting gently your face as the sun was slowly setting, giggling like a love-struck teenager with your date while you exited the restaurant. The rendezvous you had spent with the man by your side had passed so fast, his funny stories and dashing charm having made you lose track of the time. The two of you chuckled some more at one of his jokes as you eventually bid farewell. Though before you truly could depart, you took heart and pressed a sweet goodbye kiss onto your date’s mouth. Pleasantly surprised by your action, he leaned into your touch. When you both eventually let go of each other, he offered you a sincere and dazzling smile. “Let’s do this again, alright?”

Despite his better judgment, Abbacchio couldn’t bring himself to walk immediately home after having bought the booze. Instead, he had finished three quarters of the first wine bottle while strolling through Naples. He could feel the slight fuzziness of his intoxication manifesting in his body and mind. Sluggishly, the Italian continued his walk, his steps weighing just as heavy as the thoughts occupying his head. After a while, without noticing, he had stopped in front of your flat. “Are you home by now, Y/N?”, he wondered quietly. He couldn’t see any lights turned on in your apartment (of course he knew where to locate your exact housing after having… observed you for a while), meaning you already slept or you hadn’t returned yet. You couldn’t have possibly gone back to this guy’s place, could you? Bile rose up his oesophagus and his face turned into a dark scowl as Abbacchio dwelled on that thought. His grip around the wine bottle tightened, threatening to break it into pieces. Though before that could happen, the mobster guided the bottle to his lips and let the tart crimson liquid travel down his throat in an attempt to drown his dark musing. How could he let this happen? How could you have already gone this far with that man? Why hadn’t he just reached out to you? If you were to end up with that guy, he wouldn’t be able to look at you again, not without thinking of himself as a failure. Abbacchio harshly squinted his eyes while downing the remaining wine, trying to chase his thoughts away. Maybe, if he was lucky enough, his hangover would be so big the next morning, he would have forgotten about this whole situation.

From a few metres distance, you carefully watched the tall man in front of your apartment complex clinging to his bottle. “Great,” you mumbled exasperatedly, “I definitely needed a drunkard now.” Not only did he seem to be intoxicated, but also potentially dangerous, as you could make out all the muscles under his tight and partially revealing outfit. “Deep breaths, Y/N,” you reminded yourself, attempting to stay calm, “you’re just going to pass him and then rush straight to your flat.” As you tried to make your plan reality, you felt the stare of the stranger glued onto your form. Nervously, you swallowed the gulp of saliva building in your mouth. You nearly reached the front door of the complex as you heard a voice utter your name. No one was around you, except for that man, so it must had been him. But how would he know your name? Deciding that your anxious mind just made that up, you fumbled for your keys. But again, you heard the same voice repeating your name. With a flabbergasted expression, you turned around to meet the stranger’s face. His sharp features were highlighted beautifully under the neon lights of the street you must admit, and his long white hair with a lavender hue almost appeared to glow. Only the bloodshot golden eyes indicated his current pitiful condition.

“Excuse me Sir, do we know each other?”, you eventually asked tentatively. Multiple emotions crossed over his face in a matter of seconds, as if he wasn’t sure he could reply to such a simple question. Little did you know about how hard it actually was for him.

“No,” the stranger managed to spit out an answer, “but we will soon enough.” Incredulous, you tightly knitted your eyebrows together.

“What do you mean?,” you countered, “And how do you- HEY!” Before you managed to say more, the man turned around to leave you on your own. Deciding it was best not following him, you just let him vanish into the darkness of a near alley. “What a creep,” you whispered to yourself, “I just hope he won’t come back.” At last, you entered the complex and made your way to your home, leaving this weird encounter a concern you had to face tomorrow.

Abbacchio couldn’t believe seeing you walk past him as he finally pulled the bottle away from his mouth, previously closed eyes now wide open and fixated on you. Having been so convinced that you were by now in your date’s bed, he didn’t trust his slightly drunk mind to not play tricks on him. But undoubtedly, it was you who tensely rushed to the front door of the building. It pained the gangster to see you stressed out because of his presence, but what else should you think about him? He was just a complete stranger to you and drunk on top of that, a potential threat. A sudden realisation dawned then on Abbacchio. If you weren’t with that guy now, it meant he still had a chance with you, right? He could still become a part of your life and make you forget about that pest’s existence, no? Then, you surely wouldn’t perceive him as a stranger. Maybe as an acquaintance, maybe as a friend, maybe – hopefully – even as a lover. The excitement of a possible future with you made the Italian instinctively whisper out your name, enjoying how it rolled off his tongue. Though he wasn’t the only one who had heard the sound of his voice as you stopped in your tracks for a moment and then proceeded to nervously look for your keys. Offended by your ignorance the man repeated your name, this time louder and with more force. Would you still ignore him? Was he doomed to be your quiet observer, a mere shadow? Not if he could change it. “There’s still a chance.” Finally, you were looking at him, a surprised expression scampering over your face as you truly saw him for the first time. With your lips slightly parted, you stared at his form, interest and wary dancing in your eyes. Did you think he looked attractive? Abbacchio internally smiled at that thought, his heartbeat increasing ever so slightly, hoping it to be true. When you eventually talked to him and asked, if you two knew each other, the Italian felt as if his brain completely stopped working. Of course you knew each other! Well, maybe not you, but he for sure knew you better than anyone else. Though he couldn’t exactly tell you this… “No,” the mobster opted to say instead, “but we will soon enough.” Abbacchio failed to realise that this too sounded creepy... Despite your questions, he promptly made his way into the narrow dark streets of Naples until he disappeared from your view.

And while wandering through these gloomy alleys, Abbacchio noticed the tears gently rolling down his cheeks. Why was he crying? After all, the two of you had finally met. “But under which conditions?”, he lamented. He was so eager to contact you again, to really connect with you. Would you give him that chance? Or would you only remember him as a drunk brute? His tears grew bigger as he continued pondering. “You have no idea how much I have been holding myself back for you, Y/N,” he whispered, voice cracking due to his intense emotions, “I’ve always contended myself with seeing you happy, but I can’t do it anymore. I just want to feel your warmth, want to know that I do deserve you, that I’m not scum…”

Eventually, Abbacchio managed to arrive home, feeling drained out of any energy to continue crying. Instead, he made his way to his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes, and closed his eyes until sweet darkness surrounded him, welcoming the young man into a numbing sleep.

•

The next couple days, Abbacchio distanced himself from you. He knew better to pester you after your first encounter, so despite his obsessive need to see you, he left you alone for about two weeks. In the meantime, he made a plan as to how he could approach you again.

You went on with your life. Keeping up with work, entertaining yourself with your hobbies and above all, seeing your date more regularly with whom things worked out more than great. All things considered, you were truly happy, enjoying most moments in your life. The long-haired stranger with the wine bottles had been long forgotten, only an obscure memory in the back of your mind. Call it ignorance or naiveté, but you really wanted to believe he was just some confused drunkard who would leave you alone after having slept off his intoxication.

That was why it hit you double hard when you saw him this Saturday morning in front of your favourite bakery.

Undoubtedly, it was him. He wore the same attire and kept his hair in the same style. Only did he appear to be sober now, his golden eyes radiating in the soft Neapolitan sunlight. No trace of drunkenness was clouding his features this time. “Thank God”, you thought.

Upon noticing your form, Abbacchio slowly approached you. He’d been waiting for half an hour now, hoping you’d get your favourite pastries like you did most weekends, so that he could catch you. An uncharacteristic nervousness spread inside his stomach. He had seen you countless times, but never had he experienced such an intense uneasiness. There you were again, just a couple of steps away from him and yet completely out of his reach, as the wary expression on your face revealed. But the Italian would change your attitude, he was sure of it.

“It seems you remember me from last time”, Abbacchio eventually said, hoping to not come across as shady. He carefully scanned you: the way your eyebrows furrowed together in disbelief, your lips pressed into a thin line, your body slightly leaned away from him. Under different circumstances, he would have deemed your cautious behaviour as adorable, even praised it. But not when it involved him.

“Yes, I remember,” you replied, still wary about the stranger, “and I don’t know if that’s a good thing.” The man was now close to you, too close for your liking. You could see all the details in his face, such as the dark long eyelashes contrasting his light hair and the tint of purple in his irises. Hastily, you moved back a few steps from him.

“I think I owe you an explanation,” the man uttered upon perceiving your reaction, “and an apology as well.”

“I agree”, you answered, trying to not sound too brazen.

Abbacchio sighed deeply, gathering his thoughts. “Quite obviously, I was drunk and landed by your apartment complex by accident.” Well, that wasn’t too much of a lie. “I’ve seen you several times here in this bakery grabbing your pastries, that’s why I know you. During some conversations you had with the baker, I heard your name as well. I’ve never had the courage to approach you. I hope you can forgive my inappropriate behaviour.” The nervousness inside his guts only intensified. Would you believe his explanation? Or would you see right through the lie?

For a couple of moments, you just stood there, eyebrows still knitted together, and pondered on his words. “I don’t remember ever seeing you in the bakery”, you muttered, trying to think of an occasion where you saw the stranger before that incident. Abbacchio slightly gulped at hearing your answer.

“I tend to stick in the shadows,” he replied, wanting to save his cover-up, “I’m not that social, you see.” Oh God, would you really buy that? Did he now ruin his only chance with you?

“Hm,” you hummed absent-mindedly, still mulling over his dubious explanation. Would a guy like him not stick out like a sore thumb in the small bakery? Or had you never properly checked out your surroundings? As strange as his reasoning sounded, it was the only one you had. “To be honest with you, I don’t know if I should completely believe you”, you said. Before he could interject, you continued. “But I’m inclined to give you another chance. Under the conditions that you don’t behave creepily anymore and don’t show up randomly and drunk at my place.”

Abbacchio’s eyes widened at your words. You truly gave him another chance! This was finally his opportunity to be with you, proving his worthiness. “Of course”, he quickly answered, nodding slightly along his words.

“But, I just want to make clear that I’m currently seeing someone, just in case you expected more from me.” Those words coming from you did sour his mood a little and dropped him from his high. Of course you were still dating that guy, why wouldn’t you? But maybe, he could turn the tables, now that you gave him permission, even encouraged him, to enter in your life. So the mafioso swallowed his feelings of bitterness and tried to keep up with the politeness.

“I think I should introduce myself properly to you. My name is Leone Abbacchio and it’s nice to formally meet you.”

“Well, since we’re already here at the bakery, why don’t we have breakfast together?”

•

To your surprise, you became quite close with Abbacchio. The two of you had met numerous times and by now, you felt at ease around him. Under his harsh appearance and demeanour was actually a very caring and understanding man, who was always there for you. Though he kept some secrets from you, he never failed to let you confide in him, a steady presence during rough times. Your friends and date – who was now your partner – didn’t trust the Italian as much as you did. Every time you mentioned him in a conversation, they never ceased to point out his cryptic attitude and your weird encounter. Some of them even suggested he might be part of the mafia, but you always brushed these accusations off with a laugh. Just because he had one bad night the time you met and was a bit gloomy didn’t imply he was a mafioso! Plus, he had told you he used to be a police officer, surely he wouldn’t have turned into a criminal then, right? You couldn’t imagine him hurting, much less killing, someone when he acted so tender around you. Constantly checking up on you through calls when you couldn’t meet, buying your favourite food when you felt down, making sure you felt comfortable.

So the pain you felt when you had found out your loved ones were right about Abbacchio was intolerable.

It was a normal day, like most times. After work, you met with Abbacchio to catch up with him before going on a dinner date with your significant other. The pair consisting of you currently sat on a terrace of a bistro, sipping on a drink. You stared with interest at the people passing the narrow streets of Naples, a mosaic of faces and feelings. From your peripheral vision, you noticed Abbacchio gaze at you, an unusual soft expression marking his stoic face. Despite having repeated multiple times that you were happy with your current relationship, it seemed that the Italian’s promise to not pursue you didn’t always align with his true feelings. Uncomfortable, you cleared your throat before looking back at the man seated in front of you. Immediately, Abbacchio schooled his expression into one of impassivity again.

“So, you have anything planned this evening?”, Abbacchio inquired seemingly nonchalant.

“Actually yes,” you replied, your lips turning into a smile at the thought of seeing your partner, “we’re gonna go out for dinner. I can’t wait to meet him again, you know how his work kept him busy all week.”

“Oh yeah, must be great to hear him talking shit about me again”, your friend barked back, sarcasm dripping from his voice. You rolled your eyes at his snarky comment.

“I’d really appreciate if you two could behave like adults for once and leave this childish distrust behind. And no, he actually intends on telling me ‘big news’ and not bad-mouthing you.”

Abbacchio perked up his ears at your words? ‘Big news’? What was that bastard planning? “He can shove those news up his ass”, he thought gloomily. The young man had finally gained your full trust, he couldn’t let that guy ruin it. Even though you might not admit to yourself, Abbacchio knew you felt the same affection he harboured for you. He saw it in the way you radiated this warmth he had longed for so long when you two were together. Finally, he knew he had worth and a purpose aside his work at Passione, and it was to be with you. So, why would he let that little boyfriend of yours destroy that with his stupid news? He wasn’t going to propose to you, was he? Not that early in the relationship, right?

“What do you think he plans on telling you?”, the Italian asked you, genuine worry now coating his voice, though you remained oblivious to his concerns. You brooded for a moment over his question.

“Well,” you replied eventually, “I think he’s got a promotion at work and might suggest to me to move in with him soon. But I’m not sure though, that’s only a speculation.”

“And would you do that? Move in with him, I mean,” Abbacchio pressed on, nervousness spreading through his body.

“I think so? I guess it would be nice to live with him”, you answered truthfully. You looked away from your friend’s intense gaze, instead opting to stare at the people surrounding you again.

When you glanced back at Abbacchio, you didn’t expect his face to be adorned with such darkness. He was practically scowling at you, his usually shining golden eyes now oddly sombre. You gasped slightly at his reaction, his trusting atmosphere now completely gone.

But how couldn’t he react like that? Your confession felt like a hard slap in his face, more painful than any attack he had witnessed. You couldn’t move in with that man. He knew it would mean the end of all his plans. Once you’d live with him, you two would see each other less and less (especially since your lovely partner seemed to despise Abbacchio as much as he despised him) and eventually you’d break contact. The mafioso had been your quiet observer before and he couldn’t go back to that role, that was sure. So he needed to craft another plan, one where your significant other wasn’t an obstacle anymore…

“Leone?”, you hesitantly tried to break Abbacchio’s eerie silence. As if awoken from a state of trance, he snapped back into reality. The sight offered in front of him truly broke his heart: your eyes were wide, your lips slightly parted, short breaths escaping them. You were scared and he was the cause of it. Just like during your first encounter. Abruptly, Abbacchio stood up from his chair.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he murmured softly, “I just need to go now.” Throwing some money on the table and already distancing himself from you, he turned around one more time at your surprised form and managed to say while smiling through gritted teeth: “I hope you’re going to be happy living with him.” Of course he didn’t mean any single word.

•

You were patiently waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up. Meanwhile, Abbacchio’s behaviour from the afternoon still haunted you. Did you do something to anger him? No, you just told him your honest opinion. But still, he had been so enraged, as if you had done him wrong. Maybe he did feel even more towards you than had initially assumed and unintentionally hurt his feelings. But still, that wouldn’t justify him abandoning you like that since you had never lead him on. Sighing, you took a look at your watch again. Your partner still hadn’t arrived, even though he should have been there thirty minutes ago. Deciding that your patience had been sufficiently tested, you gave him a call. After the sixth ringing, he still hadn’t picked up. Slowly, anxiety made itself visible in your body as your phone began trembling in your hand. Your boyfriend was a punctual person, he wouldn’t show up this late without a good reason. And not notifying you? That also seemed very atypical for him. Suddenly, pictures of him being involved in a horrible motorbike accident flashed in front of your eyes, spurring your fear of an ominous evil taking hold of him. That was it. You were going to his place right now.

After twenty minutes, which had been dragged into painful length for you, you had finally arrived at your partner’s flat. Wanting to be polite, you first rang the bell. “Are you there?”, you called anxiously, “It’s me, Y/N!” When no one opened the door or answered you, you hastily fumbled for the spare key he gave you in case of an emergency. Practically yanking the door open, you rapidly entered the apartment. Though the unexpected sight in front of you made you quickly want to run away.

There he was, your boyfriend, laying on the floor, all covered in blood that had dripped from the big cut on the throat. The slightly brown discolouration of the liquid indicated that he had been dead for a while. Your hand found its way to your mouth, trying to repress your retching caused by smell of the decomposition process. Tears pricked in your eyes as you realised your partner was truly dead, murdered even. “Who could do such a horrible thing?”, you mumbled in shock.

As if the killer had heard you, he walked from your significant other’s door to the living room. Familiar long white hair and golden eyes appeared close to your form. Your eyes widened impossibly further as you immediately recognised the murderer. The suppressed sobs finally escaped your mouth, not being able to handle this nightmarish scene.

“I wondered how long it would take you to arrive”, Abbacchio said with his usual nonchalance.

“Why?”, you managed to croak in between your hiccups, “Why would you do that to him? To me?”

“You shouldn’t have tested my limits, Y/N”, he replied as he moved closer to you. You retreated more and more, scared of what he would do to you, until your back hit a wall. Trepidation overtook your senses as he now towered in front of you, your breath coming out shallow and your whole body trembling like a leaf. “I’ve tried to hold back, tried to let you see on your own that you should be with me instead. But the minute you told me you would move in with him if given the chance, I didn’t wanna take a risk anymore.” Suddenly, tears rolled from his eyes as well. With a mixture of disgust and despair, you kept staring at him, too scared to actually react. “You’re all I have left. You’re the only reason worth living for. I couldn’t let him take you away from me, I’m sorry.” A pair of arms encircled your middle, pulling you in an inescapable embrace, as Abbacchio continued crying into your shoulder, a train of endless ‘I’m sorry’s' following along. The hug, which you once had considered as reassuring and comforting, petrified you now, your skin seemingly burning from his touch. “I’m really sorry,” the man repeated for the millionth time, “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’ll build a nice life for us, I’ll protect you from everything, just please don’t leave me.”

You continued standing there while looking at the rotting corpse of your partner. “You’ll protect me from everything, huh?”, you whispered so quietly, you doubted Abbacchio actually heard you under his sobs. “But who will protect me from you?”

[rcdfield]

❝  i don’t have nightmares when you’re there.  ❞ Carmen and Chris!

Staying The Night Prompts

pairing: chris redfield x carmen lopez fandom: resident evil word count: 2.5k

As much as Carmen wished for the night to continue and turn into the morning without them noticing, the constant gaze to her digital watch over the door to her kitchen was impossible to resist. The movie playing in front of her was already forgotten.

It was September 30th and as every year during that time, her mind would no longer rest, running the memories in her mind like a movie in the theater, tormenting her with the ghost of her sister… of her colleagues. Innocent civilians paying for the hubris of a corporation that had seen the city as their big test field. And the nightmare repeated until it would end with herself joining the dead and awakening to be one thing: A monster.

Thunder and lightning took no break, ripping the sky apart and growling so loud, she thought it might shred her apartment into pieces next.

“You alright?”

She almost didn’t hear his voice over the loud thunder, as even the late night movie was hard to understand and she had turned the volume so loud, she feared her neighbors might follow the plot better than she did.

Avoiding locking her eyes with his, she stared at the tv, legs pressed against her chest and arms wrapped around them. Breathing hurt, but the lack of air in her lungs helped her not to think about it. To concentrate on whatever movie was running in front of her. A comedy, from the looks of it.

“Carmen?” Chris’ voice breached through her, laying over her skin like a warm blanket, but with the next lightning and the following thunder, it was ripped away from her again, leaving only the cold grip of fear behind.

Only as Chris stepped into her view did she dare to look at him. He had already put on his black jacket which was still damp from the rain as he had arrived at her apartment for their little drink. It was a tradition for them. If one of them were in town on the 30th, they would meet in their apartment and drink. They barely talked about that fateful night and she knew that Chris was the last one to ask, as Jill and Claire had told him exactly what had happened — and how much luck he had had back then.

But she knew Chris. He saw this turn of events anything but lucky, and always regretted it that he hadn’t stayed in Raccoon a little longer. That perhaps he might have helped a few more people. Chris Redfield and his savior complex, as she liked to say it.

Yet, tonight was different. It was already very cold, as if fall was catching up earlier this year and no one except them were in D.C..

Jill and Carlos were on a mission in Southern Chile, Leon was somewhere in Spain, Claire had begun working for TerraSave and tried finding more victims of Umbrella’s crimes and did her best to help them. So, it was just the two of them, but somehow the old feeling of loneliness and dread crept up in her body like the cold turning her blood into ice with every second that passed until it would succeed as soon as Chris would leave her apartment.

“I’m alright,” she answered a bit too fast, having already seen another question about her wellbeing leaving his lips. Chris raised his eyebrow and the car keys in his hands slipped right back into his jacket.

“See you tomorrow?” He asked and Carmen wished she could answer with yes.

“I took the day off,” she whispered back, voice barely audible, but she knew Chris understood her. He didn’t take his eyes off of her for a second and this time she met his gaze head on. It was as if he expected her to break into tears any moment… like a fragile little vase of glass that has to be handled carefully or she’d shatter.

But whatever her gesture had given him for signals, it was far from what she wanted, as she only saw in the corner of her eyes a soft nod, before he walked around the sofa and his hand fell onto her shoulder.

It was surreal how warm his touch was, reaching through her jumper and spreading all over her skin.

“See you on Monday then.”

It was painful not to stand up and give him a hug, as she always did when they said goodbye. Sometimes it was the only thing bringing her through some long nights, sometimes even weeks, before she’d see him again one morning with two cups of coffee waiting in her lab.

Carmen cursed herself for longing after his warmth as soon as he stepped towards her door. She was old enough to survive a damn night with thunder and lightning. It wasn’t different from any other night with a storm and yet, the pouring rain outside threatened to drown her as soon as he’d step over the threshold… and let her demons consume her. Ask him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Chris?”

She didn’t turn her head, only listening to his stalling heavy footsteps. She felt his eyes against the back of her head.

“Do you… do you need to be up early?”

Coward. She let her legs slip through her grip and the cold of her wooden floor ran right into her feet.

“I have a briefing around eight,” he answered and his voice got clearer and louder together with his steps.

“You don’t have to say yes, but—” Carmen sighed with a mute grunt. “Can you stay with me… for the night?”

Silence spread through her apartment with only the rhythm of the rain and the chaotic crashing of the storm rioting outside, but even a clear no from his side would have been better than whatever this silence was.

“I get if you want to go home and sleep in your own bed, but mine is pretty big and—” The hard contrast of the heat running into her head to the coldness in the rest of her body made her dizzy and Carmen expected for her brain to explode. “I just… I don’t have nightmares when you’re there.”

Even though she couldn’t see his face, her back still turned towards him and too much of a coward (too much of a broken little girl) to watch him shake his head, decline with a polite excuse and leave, Carmen quietly took a deep breath, but the following shallow breaths were impossible to quieten. They came quicker in a row and she already feared for Chris to witness another one of her attacks. It was just one of those nights. The ones which showed her clearly that no matter how much time would pass, they’d come for her and torture her, enjoying every little drop of her cold sweat when she’d wake up screaming.

Minutes passed (at least it felt as such) and Carmen feared he had left without a word, that she might have scared him away with her burdening request, but as she was about to turn her head to the door, Chris sat down beside her, free of his jacket and only sitting there in a dark blue shirt, as if he’d never intend to leave in the first place.

“You might regret that.” Carmen would have probably overthought his warning a hundred times before he could have explained it further, but the smile hiding in the corner of his lips was enough to keep any thought of hers at bay. “I was told I’m a blanket hogger.”

The laughter broke out of her without warning, echoing through her apartment, as if not one nightmarish memory had already burned into her mind and as she joined with a chuckle, every little fear inside her perished from existence. Untouchable for the moment, invincible.

“You can have your own,” Carmen answered between giggles and wiping off a tear from her cheek before going off to find another blanket somewhere in her wardrobe.

Chris turned off the tv, casting the rest of the apartment in darkness, before light led him into her bedroom. A room he had only seen twice and somehow felt forbidden to enter. It wasn’t big, as the bed took up much of the space, but the warm, orange colors reminded him of her former dorm room, as the same wall of picture decorated the left side. Most of the pictures were new. Many portrayed Claire and Carmen on their little vacation they had taken a few months ago through Europe. The right kind of adventure, as his sister had told him. Others showed Jill and Carmen in summer dresses from this year at Barry’s house or Carlos and her, doing silly faces and holding up carrots. The writing on the polaroid frame made him chuckle again: ‘Te quiero, hermanita. Stop annoying me into eating my vegetables.��

But one picture, right in the middle of her wall, caught his attention. It wasn’t a polaroid, but one of the bigger pictures pinned and Chris questioned if it might not actually be him on it, but someone who happened to look like him. It wasn’t a good picture, as it was a bit blurry and the bright sun at the horizon didn’t help with the quality, as the people were almost silhouettes, but he would recognise that wide smile anywhere. They didn’t look into the camera, both of their eyes hidden by sunglasses, but even behind the tinted glasses she was almost out beaming the sun itself, as he seemed to smile wide about something she had said.

Yet, he didn’t remember ever having taken this picture.

“It’s the only one I have of us.”

His eyes jumped to her, not having noticed that he had taken it from the wall, staring at it as if it was a riddle to solve. He looked at the backside. Vancouver, April 1999. The spring he has been visiting her in Canada… The same year they had survived another outbreak in another damn lab of Umbrella.

“I can’t remember someone taking a picture of us.”

“Moira took it. She was so eager to try out her new camera, but had no idea how to use it,” Carmen smiled. She still remembered little Moira grabbing after her new birthday present and shooting a picture of anything that got under the lenses. It had been only a question of time until she’d find a chance to take one of them, and even though Moira had been disappointed with how some pictures looked, she’d never forget the big smile on the little girl’s face, when she had told Moira how much she loved that picture of herself and Chris — only for Barry’s oldest to give it to her as a present.

Chris placed the picture back into its place on the wall, before looking at the thick blanket in Carmen’s arms, but she kept her eyes on the picture with nostalgia written in her eyes, but ultimately locking her eyes with him as he relieved her off the blanket.

“You had interesting hair back then.”

Chris’ head turned back to the picture and let out an exhausted scoff, as he understood what she meant. Back then his hair had been a bit longer and stood wild from his head in what his sister had called the ‘bad boy charm’. Nothing he had thought much about back then, but something inside him stirred awake as Carmen chuckled about his reaction. It drowned out any other sound from outside. Chris thought the rain had stopped for a second and the storm had passed as well, but when he turned to her bed and the window close to it, it seemed to have gotten worse, but he didn’t care.

The little sound of delight was just so innocent and addictive at the same time, he mentally called himself out to keep in check. “Another word and the other blanket will be mine, too.”

She kept her mouth shut, but the wide smile spoke enough unsaid words, which caused him to roll his eyes. This wouldn’t be the end of her teasing about his old hair style. But as soon as they had taken their turns in the bathroom, the storm had lightened with only a heavy rain remaining, but another storm was approaching Carmen’s stomach. In all her luck not to end up alone this night and imprisoned by her own mind in nightmares, she had forgotten that Chris had no change of clothes — which meant him without a shirt and in dark boxers only.

Nothing she hadn’t seen before after a nice day at the beach, but somehow in the soft orange light of her nightstand lamp in her bedroom, it reached her heart with illicit thoughts.

Chris didn’t look at her, when he joined her in bed, his eyes closed as soon as he lay down with one hand on his chest and arm behind his head, as if he was only about to take a little nap. Her bed was slowly encapsulated by his scent, a fresh citrus tone with something wooden in there and Carmen caught herself wishing for her pillow to hold on to it forever. It made her forget about the next day, about what had happened all those years ago, even if it was just for the moment.

Carmen turned off her light and the shadows of moving branches of the trees outside casted by the cold streetlamp light danced on her wall. She closed her eyes, not waiting for the shadows to play a trick on her, slowly turning into walking corpses in the dark corner of her apartment or waiting for a moan of the dead, as one sneaked into her home.

“You think loud,” Chris ripped her out of her horror, making her flinch, but the final smile was inevitable on her lips.

“Sorry, I just— it was raining that day. When I was at the RPD. I somehow expect one of those zombies crashing through the windows any second.”

“They’d have to jump real high to reach your window.”

Carmen’s giggle broke through without warning, imagining the zombies jumping in front of her window like an overexcited puppy and as she opened her eyes to look at Chris, they met his.

He had this laid-back smile, so free of worry that it was strange to remember his usually serious expression at work, where everyone only knew him as ‘Agent Redfield’.

“Thank you, Chris. For staying.” Her words were merely a whisper, but he heard them, nodding at her while his smile didn’t falter a bit.

Her heart had already decided before her head could have a say in it, as he spread out his arm and offered her his side. She didn’t even dare to look him in the eye as she snuggled close to him and thus ruined any other pillow for her.

Chris was tall and bulky, but her head lying on his chest and listening to his heartbeat was like a personal-written lullaby to her, as his perfume was filling her other senses and turning off any kind of dark memory.

She had already drifted off to sleep as Chris put a gentle kiss on the top of her hair and slipped into Morpheus’ arms, as well.

[cherryyharryy]

i have an idea for a request (it’s totally ok if you don’t want to do it) like an angst-> fluff where one of harry’s songs accidentally gets leaked bc of y/n like she has something on a flash drive and the song is on another and they get mixed up and obviously he’s really mad at y/n and they have a fight he’s super snappy with her but something happens to her like she gets into a really big accidental or something and he forgives her bc he cares about her more tha the leaked song

WC: 2.7k

***

Damage control wasn’t even an option. 

Y/n sat there, staring at Harry’s laptop, numb to everything except the blaring desire to go back in time just two minutes. Two minutes is all she would need to undo possibly the biggest screwup of her life.

And the worst part is that this mistake ultimately doesn’t affect her. At least not in comparison to how it will affect Harry. And his band. And his team. Basically everyone involved with his career. 

Her mind is equally begging for her to shut down and come up with a plan—an excuse—something, Is there anyway this wasn’t my fault?  

She checks the time, her heart sinking to her stomach when she realizes Harry and his team will be back any minute. Any minute and she’s done for.

They’ve only been together for five months, officially. She’s still new to most everyone. She’s that girl Harry’s dating.

“I told you he played in that movie.” Jeff’s voice echoes outside the studio. Y/n closes the laptop and prays for strength. 

“I have him confused with someone else.” Harry bustles through the door, a small crowd of people filing in behind him, back to the spots they left an hour ago. “Hey darling,” he greets, “finish your paper?”

Y/n’s frozen, morbidly wishing he had found out about his song leaking on his own so she wouldn’t have to tell him. “Uh, almost.”

He kisses the top of her head and hands her a cup of frozen yogurt. “Your favorite.” 

“Thanks.” She sets it on the table she’s sat at while Harry pulls up a chair beside her. “Aren’t you guys still working?”

He waves in the direction of his band, “Mitch’s gotta fix his guitar.” He snickers, and slides his laptop out from under y/n’s hands. “Had a bit of an accident in the car.” 

Y/n’s head tingles with what must be nerve damage, her place in this world, her place in this room, decreasing in value as Harry opens his computer.

“It’s gonna melt.” He nods to her yogurt.

“I’m not hungry.”

He furrows his brow. “You alright?”

“Mhm.” She looks around the room, everyone busy getting back to work, light chatter passing among them. “Uh, actually, I uh, I have to tell you something.” Y/n tries to swallow the lump in her throat with no luck.

“Okay…” He shuts the laptop and gives her his full attention.

“Okay, um—”

“What the fuck!?” The room freezes as everyone turns toward Jeff. “Harry someone’s got a hold of your song!” 

Harry scrambles to his manager, complete shock on his face as they both stare down at Jeff’s phone. “Fuck.” They start to play a video, the sound of a girl screaming, with Harry’s unconsented voice playing in the background, fills the room. “How the hell did this happen?” He’s gritting through his teeth, neck red, veins bulging in his hands as he rips the phone out of Jeff’s hand. “HOW? Someone answer me!”

Y/N considers keeping quiet. Playing innocent. What good will it do to confess anyway? It’s not like it’ll undo what she’s done.

Sarah chimes in from across the room, “It looks like it happened half an hour ago. That’s when this video I’m looking at was posted.”

Y/n’s staring down at her lap, holding her head up with her fingers pressed into her temples when Harry slings himself back into the chair next to her.

“All that work, all that fucking work,” he nearly growls, “for some cunt to spread my unfinished song around for a buck.”

Y/n peers up to the room, a completely different picture compared to five minutes ago. Now there’s talk of lawyers and pressing charges while everyone shuffles around. Jeff slams the door as he steps out with his phone to his ear, and y/n knows she can’t claim denial, it’ll only make things worse.

“Uh, Harry?”

“What is it?” He doesn’t look at her, eyes glaring at his phone while another video plays of a group of people reacting to his song. “Glad they fucking like it.”

“Harry?”

“What, y/n?”

She shrinks under his gaze, mouth dry as she forces her confession out. “I uh, this is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m so, so sorry. And I’ll do anything—I know I can’t fix it—but...”

Harry’s tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrowing in on her as a morbid silence forms a little bubble around them. “Go on,” he whispers with grit, “finish what you were gonna say.”

She stutters, desperately trying to figure him out. “I’m just sorry. It was an accident.”

“An accident? How did you even manage to do this?”

“I—”

“Do you have any idea what this accident means, y/n?”

She reluctantly shakes her head no.

“How the fuck did you do this?”

“I—I don’t know...I was taking a break from my paper, and, I don’t know Harry.” She’s in tears now, warm and salty as they spill down her cheeks. Her mouth wobbles around another apology, but no sounds make it out.

“Fix it.”

“What?”

He stands up, yanking his laptop off the table, pausing to glare at her one last time. “I said, to fix it.” With that he storms across the room, slinging the door open just as Jeff reenters.

“Harry, your attorney—”

“Forget it.” He turns around and points his phone towards y/n silently sobbing in the corner. “She’s gonna handle it.” He takes one step out into the hall and stops, spinning on his heels to face the studio. “Don’t speak to me until you do.”

Mitch’s guitar that was fixed and propped against the wall, crashes to the floor when Harry slams the door. 

Chatter passes around the room one more time, only now everyone seems to be in agreeance—that girl never should have been allowed in the studio, and maybe, Harry should break up with her.

***

Early morning rain fell outside Harry’s apartment. It was still dark, street lamps burning through the fog in the city below. His home fills with coffee as he pours his fifth cup; the prior four never offering more than a few sips before he had abandoned them somewhere, the counter, mantle, bookshelf, because he can’t talk without his hands.

Y/n sits on his couch. It’s velvet and pink and too big for one person. She hated it the first time he invited her over. If he breaks up with her, she’s going to tell him how ugly it is.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do.” She’s exhausted. She hadn’t hesitated to drive over when he finally responded to one of her hundreds of texts in the week since the mishap. But now she regrets it. They’ve been going in circles with the same argument for the past four hours. She’s convinced he invited her over just to be mean. She sighs, rubbing her temples. “I said I was sorry. You know that I’m sorry. And you know that I never, ever in a million years, would have done something like this on purpose.”

“I’m allowed to be angry with you. I have every right to be.”

“Do you, though?” She straightens up on his ugly couch and looks at him leaning against the doorframe that leads into the kitchen. “Aren’t you a little tired of hating me? God Harry, everyone else in the whole world has moved on except you.”

“It’s not everyone else’s song, is it? It’s not everyone else’s months and months of hard work. It’s not everyone else’s unfinished art? Nobody else is having to deal with a girlfriend that is so careless, so thoughtless, that she actually managed to leak my song!”

“Stop raising your voice at me!”

“You had no business snooping around my computer anyway! I told you you could work on your fucking paper, not to go prying around my personal shit!”

“You know what,” she scoffs, shooting up off the couch, “this argument is so pointless. You didn’t want me here so we could talk. You just wanted to torture me because you’re mad that people don’t love your stupid song.”

“What the fuck did you say?”

She brushes his shoulder as she passes by him, and a drip of his coffee spills onto his hand. He curses, and follows her into the kitchen where he lays his final cup down on the island.

“You’re being a baby because people aren’t fawning over you like they usually do.” She shrugs and slings her bag over her shoulder. “It’s not your best song, Harry.”

The veins in his neck strain against his flaming skin. His cheeks are sucked in, and if he bites down on the skin any harder he’ll puncture his face. “Get the fuck out.”

“I was already leaving, dumb ass.” She strides by him once more, practically feeling the heat steaming off his body. When she gets to the front door, she pauses with her hand on the knob. “Your couch is hideous, by the way. Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have to buy shitty looking stuff.”

When she slams the door behind her, the apartment shakes, and cold coffee spills from each cup.

***

It’s nearing five a.m. when y/n backs out of the complex. Her wipers race across the windshield, but do nothing against the downpour wreaking havoc in the city. She does her best to stay on what she assumes is her side of the road, swerving to the right each time headlights blind her.

“Shit.” Nothing is open, and she can’t even see where it would be safe to pull over to let the rain pass. But her home isn’t that far, and traffic isn’t too bad. 

She comes to a stop at a red light, only to realize she missed a left turn she should’ve made a minute ago. “Damn it. Fucking hell.”

As soon as the light turns green, she spins the wheel to make a U-turn, and if it hadn’t been for the rain, and her own clouded mind, and Harry’s voice echoing in her ears, she might have seen the truck who didn’t even try to avoid her.

***

It’s the headache from hell that wakes her up. And it’s the sterile smell of hospital that jogs her memory. And it’s a nurse not much older than y/n that says something about you’re lucky to be alive. 

She’s poked and prodded and asked a thousand questions before her IV is adjusted and a pill to ease one of the many pains scratching her body is handed to her in a small plastic cup. A police officer repeats half of this process, and somewhere in the mess of her reality, she learns that the other driver was sending a text to his wife when he plowed into her car. He’s at home and she’s here. Lucky to be alive.

She made calls to her mom and friends, and even managed to type out a decent email to her professors for her upcoming absence in class.

When she automatically pulled up Harry’s name on her phone, the last text he sent, the one inviting her over so he could make her more miserable than she already was, sat there in all its taunting glory.

What is she even supposed to say? Hey, I know you hate my existence right now, but I’m lying here in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around my head. It’d be cool if you stopped by.

It’s not long before the sun pops up and reminds y/n of just how early it is. The clouds part, and it’s like it had never even rained, like it had never even been dark for hours, and if she closes her eyes, y/n can pretend that the past week hadn’t even happened.

***

 “How are you feeling today?” The nurse checks y/n’s IV, humming after her question.

“Just sore. Ready to get out of here.”

“We’ve started the paperwork, so shouldn’t be too long. Who’s coming to get you?”

Y/n blinks, feeling stupid she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She doesn’t even have a car anymore. The nurse looks over the computer monitor, waiting for a response.

“Uh, my friend.”

“Awesome. Dr. Kirby has to come check on you one last time before you leave. I’ll go see if he can stop by now, if you want to let your friend know.”

As soon as the nurse is out the door, y/n scrambles to turn her phone back on, and once it is, her lock screen is filled with missed calls and unanswered texts.

She’ll respond later; gives her something to do in the car to occupy her in front of Harry. 

She can’t call him. Harry’s not a monster, although the past week doesn’t exactly prove her case, but she knows he wouldn’t refuse to come get her. If anything, he’ll be annoyed she didn’t tell him about the accident sooner. But she’s too emotional to deal with hearing his voice.

She types out a text recounting her last 24 hours, along with the name of the hospital. He immediately reads it, and a moment later he’s trying to call.

To: Harry

I’m too tired to talk rn

She lies. And it works.

From: Harry

I’ll be there as fast as i can

***

“Baby?”

Y/n cracks her eyes open, irritated she never quite fell asleep. Confused as to why Harry’s calling her baby. Angry that she cares. And the next words out of his mouth are ones she’d been predicting.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve dropped everything. You’ve been here all alone, shit. Are you okay? What hurts?”

He’s hovering over her, fidgeting, unsure if he can touch her.

“I’m fine now. Just sore. And tired.”

“Fuck I can’t believe this, I—”

“The doctor already said I can go. I’m not allowed to walk out on my own, so, you need to let the nurse know you’re here. She’ll take me down in a wheelchair.”

“Baby I’m so sorry-”

“No, Harry. You would still be busy hating my guts right now—”

“Hate you? I don’t hate you?”

“Well you did a great job this week making me feel otherwise.”

Harry sighs, gripping the bed frame and dropping his chin to his chest. When he looks back up he has tears brimming his eyes. “I’m sorry,” his voice cracks. “I know I’ve been an ass this week. I—you were right. I took out my anger from no one lovin’ the song on you.”

“Well it’s not no one. A lot of people did. And it’s unfinished anyway. You wouldn’t enjoy a meal if it was only cooked halfway.”

He nods, but y/n knows he’s only accepting her words because of the situation.

“You mean so much more to me than a leaked song. I’m sorry I treated you like shit. And that I—I made you think I hated you. You have every right to hate me.”

“You annoy the hell out of me, but I don’t hate you.”

His lips twitch, but a few tears slide down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She takes his hand off the rail and smoothes her thumb across his knuckles. “You can make it up to me by getting me out of here.”

“I can do that.” He kisses the top of her head and hits the remote to call for the nurse.

“You can really kiss me, y’know. I’m not gonna break.”

He’s hesitant, but slowly lowers his head to press his lips to hers. He’s timid, and his lips are still damp from tears, but it’s more relieving than either of them would ever admit.

The nurse ends their moment when she pops in the room, pushing a wheelchair in front of her. “Hi, you must be y/n’s friend.”

“Friend?” He peers down at y/n, suggestion lacing the word. “Care to explain?”

“Not really, I’m so tired.”

“Mhm.” He clicks his tongue, supporting her arm as she swings her legs off the bed. Once she’s standing and steady, he tucks her hair behind her ear and bends down so his mouth can graze her lobe. “Since we’re just friends, I guess you’ll have to sleep on my ugly couch.”

[hongnanglen-arina]

Forget me not | Hong Joshua

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Joshua x fem reader

Warnings: sick!reader, dementia

Words: 3k

A/N: Hey there! So here it is, my first angsty fic on here. I’m currently going through this myself but writing it down helped me cope with it a bit. Of course having to deal with this syndrome/disease is anything but romantic or nice but i tried to make it less bad if you know what i mean... anyways, i really hope you don’t have to deal with this in rl. Please be healthy!! Love you ♡

Tagged: @love-dreams​ @seokcalibur​ 

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

The first time Joshua knew that something was off was at your birthday party 5 years ago. When you talked too fast, often times you mixed up the names especially the similar ones. You nearly forgot the cake in the oven. Luckily your cousin noticed it. During the party, he thought you were just too excited or too stressed because you wanted it to be perfect. You’ve always been like this.

But when you were alone in the kitchen after everyone had left, you asked him about the special occasion of the party. You couldn’t remember it was your birthday.

He had laughed and thought it was a joke. But it wasn’t. 

The questions increased, more and more random reactions happened until he couldn’t leave you alone anymore. 

Once he was at a market with you. It was a lovely saturday afternoon. You two enjoyed those short getaways a lot. You would randomly choose a place up to 3 hours away from your home and would drive there, spent the day or even the whole weekend there and would go back happily as if you had a little vacation. That day you had decided to split up so he could secretly get the little bouquet of roses for you before joining you at the grocery store to help with the bags. The bouquet was placed securely on the backseat of your car when he stepped into the grocery store, looking for you. The store wasn’t too big so he was sure that it wouldn’t take long to find you. No sign of you at the fruit corner, the pastries, alcohol nor the snacks corner. He just couldn’t find you. He even asked the workers to call your name through the speakers because he started to get worried. 5 minutes passed. 10. 15. Still no sign. He didn’t want to bother the busy workers a second time so he made his way back to your rented apartment for the weekend. Maybe you wanted to start preparing dinner because you’ve been always like this. You never wanted to get help if it wasn’t really necessary. This was one of the reasons you two would get into an argument but those never lasted for long. 

When Joshua got into the car and drove down the street in the direction of your apartment, he saw you sitting at the bus stop, crying. He immediately stopped the car and ran to you, he thought his heart had stopped beating the second he saw in what kind of state you were.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He tried his best to speak in a calming tone but it was very difficult. Joshua didn’t know what was wrong. What happened. What he missed out on. He was mad at himself that he left you alone, no matter what the reason for your tears was.

Your eyes lightened up a bit when you recognized him beside you on the bench, looking down at his hands which were holding yours, thumbs rubbing soothingly over your cold skin.

“I’m such a bad mother! I forgot to prepare dinner for our kids! I have to go back and cook. They must be hungry and waiting!”

It wasn’t what Joshua was expecting to hear. 

Especially because your two children were already living in other cities for work and university. He didn’t understand right away. Again, he thought you made a joke but when his eyes met your glossy ones and he tried to find the right words.

“Love, they aren’t with us anymore. You don’t have to prepare dinner for them.”

This was the wrong choice of words. You started to cry uncontrollably, worse than before. Because you thought they had passed away.

Later on he learned that he had to “play along”. That this would resolve almost every situation with people who were suffering with this syndrome.

The other time you just wanted to throw away the trash. It was just right outside the apartment complex so he thought it would be okay. The big bins were just beside the entrance, in a separate place only residents could enter since the gatekeeper was always around. You didn’t have to go that far, it was still the same building. But what was a task for 10 minutes maximum under normal circumstances became a horrible memory for Joshua and probably you too. 

Because you got lost somewhere between leaving and closing the apartment door and the moment Joshua found you. In the hospital.

Until now, he didn’t know what exactly happened on that day. But you got hit by a car when you crossed the street at a red light he was told. Even after asking the gatekeeper, he couldn’t help you because after seeing you, he got a call and didn’t pay attention where you were going after exchanging greetings.

Joshua’s fingers slightly touched your knee, the scars from the accident still evident. He was mad at himself. He thought moving to this place would help you recover and made you happier. In some aspects it did. Living on the 23rd floor with a breathtaking view over the Hangang river and all the nice lights once it got dark outside was something you two had always dreamt of. Being able to take a walk at the park next to the building and having some slice of nature around was exactly what you two wanted in this huge city. Always joked about growing old and admiring the view together. 

He never thought it would become like this.

He didn’t know why God had chosen you.

He used to believe that everything happened for a reason. That you would only get good things if you do good.

He was raised to believe in God. 

But after everything, it was difficult.

He even caught himself hating God for making you suffer like this.

He just couldn’t help it.

“It’s cold.” Your words pulled Joshua back to reality and he quickly got up to get your favorite blanket. The fuzzy fabric that you fell in love with when you were at an amusement park together a month before you got married. You always took great care to everything and everyone around you so it was no surprise to him that the blanket still looked exactly like it did when he won it for you. Although it hasn’t gotten the same care anymore after you weren’t able to do chores by yourself again. Joshua asked you what your secret was in maintaining it but as much as he tried, he just wasn’t as talented as you. 

He wrapped you in your blanket and made sure that you felt warm and cozy before walking over to the open kitchen area to prepare tea. Your favorite organic herbal infusion. 

While he was waiting for the water to boil, is eyes traveled to the side and to the wall which was decorated by different photos. Every single one holding a deep meaning.

A selfie taken on a ferries wheel. The moment he confessed his feelings for you. He planned everything to the smallest detail and wanted it to be romantic. Throughout the evening you asked him several times why he was carrying a bigger backpack. The reason was a bouquet of red roses. That day he wasn’t fully himself because he was too nervous but it still worked out. He succeeded. Joshua smiled at the memory.

Beside that was a photo from your wedding. The beautiful dress that you wore was something he had never seen. He was speechless and had to swallow down the tears. He couldn’t believe that he was the lucky guy marrying this ethereal woman in front of him. In this photo your eyes were a little puffy and nose slightly red because you couldn’t help but to cry through half of the ceremony. He could still hear your whines when his best friend asked for a photo. The smile remained on Joshua’s lips while remembering the moment.

Then photos of your children. The first born, then your second 3 years later. Time really passed by too fast because now they weren’t living with you anymore. In fact, your first born would become a father himself in a couple of months. 

Joshua looked over to you, the smile changing to a painful expression. He wasn’t sure if you would understand who it is when your son would come over with his baby. 

Once the tea was ready, he put everything on a small tray with some fruits and walked back to you.

You were still at your favorite spot. At the table in the dining room which was right in front of a huge window, allowing you to have a beautiful view on the Hangang river and the Paldang bridge. Joshua would catch you smile from time to time, sometimes even getting an answer from you why you were smiling. When there wasn't a smile on your lips, your eyes would be watery as if you had remembered something sad. Every time he would ask you and often times he would be surprised what the cause was. The fact he would randomly learn new things about your past even after knowing you for over 40 years now was surprising to him. But the doctor once told him that those things could also be dreams or wishes that you would mix up with reality. Sadly it was common.

He helped you with the tea, blew over it and held the cup while you took a sip. Every time you would thank him but without saying his name. It was painful but he tried to hold his smile.

“They look like the flowers we have in our garden. They are so beautiful. My mother loves them. Me too.”

Joshua turned around to a painting on the wall. A painting of small flowers, little blue petals with white and yellow centers. Forget-me-nots. 

You painted it after getting the diagnosis. At that time, it wasn’t this severe. You were still able to do everything by yourself although you stopped from time to time because you weren’t able to remember what you wanted or why you were doing something. But the both of you were scared of the future.

It wouldn’t just go away after some time like a flu. There was nothing you could do, no antidote. Just medication which would temporarily improve the symptoms, distracting you from the real process. You knew that one day it would become so bad that you may hurt him.

The reason you painted the flowers was because you wanted to break up with him. You wanted a divorce. Not because you stopped loving him, it was because you loved him. You hated to ask for help. You hated to bother people, especially him. People who meant the world to you. You wanted him to live his life without you as a burden because dementia meant you would need help until the very end.

You wanted to give him the painting as a gift, like a symbol of your time together. That you were thankful for everything and hoped he would keep all the good memories in his heart. You didn’t want him to hate you and you really hoped he would understand. If not now, then later. The divorce would give him the freedom he deserved. He shouldn’t see you miserably and take care of you when you can’t recognize him anymore.

That was the biggest fight you two had. 

Joshua was more than hurt of the decision you had made alone. But he wasn’t the only one in pain and he saw it in the way you were shaking as you tried to explain everything. He knew that something was wrong with you some weeks prior to your fight where the bomb dropped. You didn’t eat normally, you denied his ideas for a night out, you didn’t smile as much as you used to. You just avoided his love and wanted to be alone more and more.

In the end he convinced you to stay. Joshua told you that he swore to care for you until his last breath. To be there for you in good but also in bad times. He would be understanding if the syndrome would mess with your brain or body again. It was his purpose to be there for you. He loved you. Just as much as you needed him, he needed you as well. Even if that meant to be in the situation he was in right now.

"You really sing so beautifully. You should become a singer!"

That's what you would say every day after he played the guitar or sang his favorite song for you. And his reply would be the same as well, every day.

"Believe me or not but I was a famous singer once.”

And you would always giggle and think that he made a joke. But it wasn’t.

Joshua was 2 years older than you but then again, healthy. Unlike you who was suffering from dementia. 

He knew you didn't do it on purpose but it always hurt him so much, he had no word to describe the pain. Knowing you weren't able to remember all the happy moments you two went through made his heart ache. No matter how often he told you about your adventures, your experiences and life lessons, you would forget about it right after. But he still did it again and again. At least he had a lot to tell you about and somehow it was a way of not forgetting it himself. Some kind of therapy for himself. But often times he struggled because he couldn't remember it clearly and it was always a lonely feeling as you couldn't help or correct him.

Joshua checked the secure on the wheels of your wheelchair, making sure it wouldn’t move. He slowly got up to his feet to turn on the heater on the other side of the room. It was getting cold inside and the tea was gone already.

When he first heard about dementia, he thought it was losing memory only. But as he educated himself more and more, he learned that it could also mean the loss of mobility and the loss of speech. 

Luckily the latter hasn’t happened yet and he prayed it would stay that way. 

That was one of the reasons he believed in God again.

He felt selfish but he had nowhere to go. No place to let everything out.

When he prayed to God again, he felt bad and pathetic at first but it gave him the strength he needed.

He prayed that you wouldn’t be in too much pain.

He mentioned his gratitude for still being with you.

He was thankful for the chance to be a good husband to you.

Absentmindedly, his fingers found his cross necklace. You weren’t in a good state and of course everything could be better without dementia but being there for each other must be the life lesson here. Even without a marriage, being with the person you love and supporting each other was one of the most important things in life. He didn’t know how it would be, if the tables were switched between the two of you. Maybe that was why Joshua understood your idea of the divorce although he decided against it. If he would have to choose again, his decision would be the same. 

He didn’t want a life without you.

After turning on the heater, he joined you again.

He was watching you smile with tears in your eyes.

He asked you what was wrong but you didn't react, instead your gaze was fixated on something outside the window. He wanted to help. He wanted to turn back time but he couldn't. His wish was impossible to become true. 

Joshua reached forward, grabbing two clementines from the tray he had brought earlier and started peeling them for you. You two used to do it for the other when everything was still okay. Before the drastic change had started. Now you've never done it for him again but it would never stop him from doing it for you.

Carefully taking your hand and placing the peeled fruits in it, you made a surprised noise, giving him a soft smile.

"How do you know I like them? Say, what's your name?"

He tried to smile back. The same question he would hear every day.

Leaning forward, he gently rubbed your arm through the blanket. "My name is Joshua." ...and I'm your husband, he added in his thoughts.

You pulled out your arm from under the blanket and carefully touched his hair, letting the fingertips graze his cheeks until he grabbed your hand and kept your hand like this, leaning in your palm and closing his eyes for a second before placing your hand back down in your lap. You still wore his bracelet. The one he made for you with pastel colored beads. 

Every day you would ask where you got it from but Joshua made sure to tell you about it every time he heard this question. At least you two would always have topics to talk about, he always told himself.

“You are so kind to me.” 

Your soft voice made him look up to you and then he saw it in your eyes. He saw that deep down you haven't completely forgotten about him and that was all he needed. That was what kept him going, day after day. You were and will always be the love of his life after all.

And that would never change. Never.

[daggerandrose]

Happy 28th! I’m making this the night before and crossing my fingers that Louis drops something today (a single, a doc, or even a selfie would be a blessing and I would lose my shit). In any case that he doesn’t... have some fics to read!

As always, please leave a kudos/comment on these as I know they fuel writers. Enjoy!

Love, Ever After, 20.7k, by @jacaranda-bloom

One would assume that the charismatic omega in charge of the local matchmaking service would have found a mate and settled down ages ago. His clients, in fact, are always a bit surprised when they come to learn that Louis is still single. But Louis doesn’t mind, not really. His standards are just high; he is happy holding out for his alpha, his soulmate, and chooses to not waste his time with anyone else, despite what his friends might think.

That is, until his best mate from uni drags him out of bed far too early on a Saturday morning after a night of drinking to go to a farmers market, of all places. It’s there that he proceeds to make an utter fool of himself in front of the hottest alpha he has ever laid eyes on. There’s truly no coming back from that, is there?

OR The one where omega Louis makes love matches, alpha Harry makes cheese, and meddling friends might finally make their dreams of finding their soulmate come true.

Like air to the fire I need you to breathe, 4.6k, by CuckooTrooke

"Your nest is very beautiful" Louis says in awe, feeling his chest bubble with love as he watches Harry preen at the compliment.

"You like it?" Harry asks shyly, picking up a lonely sock from the center of his nest and replaces it on the side of his nest. He looks at it thoughtfully until shaking his head at himself, picking up the sock again. Louis watches him at this important task, how the placement of the smallest things in his nest is so important.

"Of course I like it. It's very pretty" Louis praises. Louis was going to do this right. He was going to praise every little effort Harry had made and will still make with his nest, tell him how cozy and well put together it is. And practical, on top of everything. Despite of being situated in Louis’ closet. But it had so many blankets, duvets and pillows that Louis will happily make Harry fall apart in that nest when he goes into heat.

Well. He’ll try.

The thing is, Louis is sort of terrified.

OR

Harry is in preheat and Louis is nervous about his upcoming heat, fearing that he might not be able to fulfill his mate's needs. Lucky for him, Harry knows hot to push the right buttons to get him relaxed.

But If This Ends, 107k, by @absoloutenonsense

Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.

Counterculture, 6k, by @sadaveniren

It all culminated to this: Harry in the middle of a crowded basement, music blasting from the live show on the far side, shirtless amongst alphas and omegas who all weren’t covering their scents. He took a deep breath of the heavy air and he felt alive.

across city skyline (and straight through my heart), 76.4k, by @halosboat

Louis Tomlinson meets Hollywood Heartthrob, Harry Styles when he walks into Louis' little bakery one day.

Immediately, Louis is charmed by him and Louis thinks Harry might feel the same way, given the fact that Harry has visited the bakery everyday since he'd come to town.

Until one day, Harry walks in with a boyfriend under his arm and a smile on his face.

The one where Louis owns a small bakery that's well known in his town and Harry Styles is an actor who comes to town to film a new movie. Louis is endeared by him, but that doesn’t seem to matter since Harry Styles is already taken.

When The Wolf Comes Out (like a bullet in the dark), 9.8k, by @londonfoginacup

"So Dad was a..." Harry rolls the word around on his tongue, trying it out. "A werewolf?"

"In a sense, you could say that," Anne says. "It's certainly a more correct term than that vampire myth." She looks to Nick. "Grimshaw. Would you please explain exactly what the Madness entails?"

Nick nods. Harry has never been on the receiving end of his business face before, and finds he's more than a little intimidated. “Right, well the first thing you need to know is that, except with freak mutations, the madness only actively infects one individual at a time. Since your grandfather’s death, your father has been dealing with it. Now that he’s gone, it’s presumably moved to you.”

Too Young To Know, 35.4k, by @2tiedships2

Louis blinked awake and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. This was the second morning in a row he had woken up after dreaming about Harry.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Eric asked as he held Louis tighter in his arms. Louis liked being the little spoon, except for when he’d rather be holding someone else. Which were the past two days.

Or the one where Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

This Ain’t Red Wine, 9k, by LetTheMusicMoveYou

It’s not until he gets a whiff of the contents of his glass that Louis realizes his grave mistake.

That’s not red wine.

It’s blood.

It’s probably not the most rational, but his first thought is what people are going to think when they discover his body. On the list of stupidest ways for a human to die, accidentally turning up to a Vampire party has to be pretty high up there.

(Or the one where Human Louis accidentally finds himself at a Vampire only party which actually turns out to maybe not be the worst thing).

don’t want no other shade of blue, 43.2k, by @louisisworthit

“I know you’re putting on an act,” says Harry after a moment, and Louis scowls when he realises the prince is actually amused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Louis.

“All I’ve heard over the past couple of years are rumours of Prince Louis’ kindness, and generosity, and oh, he’s so handsome I can barely pour his tea without shaking!” says Harry, putting on a silly, high-pitched voice for the last bit. Louis’ scowl deepens. “I would already know if you were just another selfish, bratty omega prince. You can’t fool me, darling, but I admire your efforts.”

“As you said,” Louis grits out, “those are only rumours. I assure you, I’m a terrible person.”

no good unless it’s real, 17k, by @fackinglouis

“Here,” Harry says, pulling a strap off his shoulder so he can dig his phone out of his bag. “We can get each other’s numbers.” Louis shakes his head. “I have the practice’s number already,” he tells him. “And my number is definitely on file somewhere.”

Harry pauses, smile quirking a bit as he stares at Louis. The sun is still in his eyes, though, with his sunglasses pushed up onto his head still, so Louis credits his funny face to that.

“I’m trying to give you my number, Louis,” Harry explains around a breathy laugh.

“Oh,” Louis blinks, processing that. He scratches his temple, moves a piece of longer fringe back behind his ear, and then nods. “Okay.”

Or: Louis is a very busy farmer who’s just trying to make it to his next nap and Harry’s the new hot vet that’s determined to infiltrate every area of his life.

shameless self-promo: take my hand, wreck my plans, 38.1k by me!

Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.

“Mr. H,” he whispers.

The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”

“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”

“Dance?”

Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”

Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

[midnightsnyx]

Matthew Tkachuk -Consequences Outtakes: The Proposal

a/n: i thought i would do a few “outtakes” from Consequences and this is the first one i thought about!! i have a few other planned so let me know if you guys want me to post them 🥰 i listened to Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani’s songs Nobody But You and Happy Anywhere while writing this so go listen while reading it ❤ 

also thank you to @notanotherhockeyblog95 for pre-reading this for me <3

Consequences Masterpost

Outtake: The Proposal

Matt was planning something.

You knew this because after being with him for four years, you knew him inside and out. So you knew he was acting strange. Strange enough that Henry noticed the way his father was acting.

“What’s Dada doing?” Henry asks, watching his father literally tip toe to the coat rack and slowly put on his jacket as if doing it slowly makes him invisible.

“Being a fool.” You replied, rolling your eyes as you watched him quietly leave the house. You turn your attention back to the toddler sitting in front of you who is looking more and more like his father every day. Hair curly and out of control and eyes the same color blue, he looks exactly like the mini Matthew you were expecting.

“What’s a fool?” Henry asks.

“It’s a silly person.” You tell him, tickling his sides and laughing when he squeals and jumps on you wrapping his arms around your neck and snuggling into you. You treasure these small moments you have with Henry because with the new baby due any day now, your little family of three will become four. 

And you can’t wait.

. . . 

“Can I take you out tonight?” Matt asks while you’re eating dinner a few days later. 

“Date night isn’t until Thursday.” You remind him, because there’s no way you can get a sitter on such short notice. 

“Noah said he would watch Henry.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him in disbelief. “I’m not trusting Hanifin to babysit our child. Do you not remember what happened last time?”

He winces and you know he’s thinking back to the walls covered in permanent marker and the flood in the bathroom. 

“Becca said she would come over too.” 

The short notice and secrecy is strange and it bothers you a little but you shrug and agree.

“Sure.” 

His face lights up and he nods, shovelling the rest of his food in his mouth as if he was raised by wolves. 

Chantal would be very disappointed.

After you finish dinner, Matt rushes you to get ready, telling you that he will clean up the dishes and start getting Henry ready for bedtime. 

When Becca and Noah show up, Matt leads you out to his car and opens the door for you like the true gentleman he’s turned into. You find things that make you fall in love with him even more every single day. 

“Can you tell me where we’re going, or is it a surprise again?” You ask, smiling when he grins.

“When have I ever not surprised you when it comes to date night?”

“Fair point.” You say, looking out the window and trying to figure out where he might be taking you. It’s about twenty minutes when you arrive at the destination and it takes a minute before you realize where you are.

“This is the building that the Flames organization uses for charity events.” You say and look at the building which has all lights turned off and looks completely deserted. 

“It’s also where I met you.” He says, and you turn to look at him. He has a soft smile on his face and you tilt your head in question but he just shakes his head. “We’re not staying.” 

He pulls out of the parking lot and starts to drive farther into the city until you reach an apartment complex. It takes you a moment before you realize it’s his old apartment building.

“Planning on moving back here?” You joke and he laughs but shakes his head. 

“This is where you told me I was going to be a father.” He says quietly and you hum. 

“I was terrified when I was on my way to go tell you.” You say, looking back at the building. “I seriously considered turning around and going back home about ten times.” 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He jokes but there’s sincerity in his voice too. You turn to look at him again and he’s staring at the building too. When he realizes you’re looking at him again, he grins and starts driving again.

You’ve decided by now to not question what his plans are. You know he won’t tell you so you just enjoy the quiet time because it’s not something you have with him often, not with a little toddler running around. 

The next place he brings you is to the clinic you went to when you were pregnant with Henry. You’ve switched since, choosing to go somewhere closer to where the new house is. 

He’s quiet for a moment after he parks and you think back to the good and bad memories of this place. From hearing Henry’s tint fast heartbeat for the first time to the appointment that Matt missed.

“I thought I lost you here.” He says after a couple of minutes. “I knew I messed up and I was convinced you were done with me.”

“You made a mistake.” You say quietly. “We all do. But you made up for it which is what matters.” 

A small smile crosses his face. “I thank my lucky stars every day that you forgave me.” 

You’re not sure what to say so you lean towards him the best you can and press your lips to his cheek.

“How could I not?”

He just smiles and kisses you before pulling out of the parking lot and down the street to a McDonald’s. 

“We went here after our first ultrasound.” He says even though you already know. “I just remember sitting there thinking how beautiful you were.” 

“Sap.” You mutter but you can’t stop the blush that warms your cheeks. “I’m starting to think this is a trip down memory lane. Where to next?” 

He grins and about fifteen minutes later, you find yourself sitting in the parking lot of the hospital where you gave birth to Henry. 

“This is where we became a family.” He says softly and your eyes start to water. “It’s where I realized I was in love with you.” 

Matt’s told you he loves you more times than you can count but each time you hear it, it makes your heart race and butterflies go crazy in your stomach. It’s a feeling you hope you never lose.

“One more stop.” He murmurs. 

You recognize where you are going now, he’s taking you home. While going for the drive with him was nice, you’ll admit that you’re a little disappointed he didn’t have more planned. Henry will be asleep by the time you get home so you’ll have some alone time at least. 

When you get home, Becca and Noah are quick to leave which leaves you a little confused because they would typically stick around a little longer. You miss the look they both give Matt because you suddenly notice that the backyard is lit up. The steps you take towards the back door and outside are tiny as you realize what’s happening.

There are lights strung along the white fence lighting up the backyard and flower petals are sprinkled on the grass. You know that Becca and Noah must have set this up while you were gone which explains why Matt brought you for a drive.

“Y/N.” 

You slowly turn around when you hear Matt say your name softly and your eyes instantly fill with tears when you see him kneeling on one knee, grinning like he’s gotten away with the world's biggest surprise and really, he has. 

A simple looking box holding the most beautiful engagement ring is sitting in his hand. 

He clears his throat as you walk towards him and you can see how nervous he is but his smile never wavers. 

“I know we didn’t really do things traditionally but I don’t care because no matter how it happened, it led me to you. It led me to this moment right now. I love you and Henry more than anything in this world and I would love nothing more than to be able to call you my wife.” He takes one of your hands in his and squeezes it gently. “So will you marry me?” 

You know you’ll cry if you try to speak so you just nod, letting him take the ring out of the box and slip it on to your finger where it will stay for the rest of your life. 

[itspufflehuff]

Adventureland- Steve Rogers Imagine

Summary: You and Steve are the only single people left in the Avengers Tower. Instead of sitting around your rooms all day Steve takes you around Brooklyn as a tour guide to his old spots from the 1940′s.

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

Word Count: 2,573

~~~~

Valentines Day at the Avengers tower was a very quiet day, at least for you and Steve. Everyone had their own dates and plans for the day. Tony, of course, is vacationing somewhere romantic with Pepper. Clint was spending the day with his wife and family. Thor was out trying to woo Jane. And most surprising of all, Natasha and Bruce were having a lovely dinner together.

It was just you and Steve left in the tower to fight boredom and loneliness on this miserable holiday.

You were in your room laying on your bed with your head hanging over the side when you saw an upside-down Steve standing in front of you with his arms crossed, "What are you doing?" He chuckled.

"Absolutely nothing and it's killing me!" You let out dramatically.

Steve laughed and sat on the floor in front of you, "Can I do nothing with you?"

"Yes! Please!"

For a good thirty minutes, you and Steve sat on the floor of your bedroom playing hand games. You started with patty cake, then rock paper scissors, thumb war, you tried to teach him slide for a while but he wasn't getting it so you moved on to hot hands, oh man was that a bad idea. It was fine at first when you were the one trying to smack his hand but the second he went to hit yours he forgot about how strong he was and hit you a little too hard, "OW! I don't like this game anymore." You whined pulling your hands away from him.

Instantly feeling bad he held your hands and softly rubbed them with his thumb, "I'm so sorry Y/N!"

The both of you sat there for a while not even noticing your hands were still in his. "Why don't we go out and do something? Instead of staying here being bored out of our minds?" Steve suggested.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, explore the city?"

You thought for a second before you perked up with an idea, "Why don't you take me around Brooklyn and show me the places you used to go to? Most of it is still there."

He smiled, "I like that idea. Let's go." He stood up first finally letting your hands go, but not for long as he held one hand out to help you up from the floor. "I'm just going to put my shoes on then grab my bag so we can go." You said as he made his way out of your room.

When you were ready to go you met him by the front door. He had two helmets in his hand along with his keys, "Ready to go?" You looked at him smiling as you nodded your head, "Ready."

~~~~

You held onto him in the back of his motorcycle as he drove you over to Brooklyn. The first stop he made was in front of an old apartment building. Steve parked his motorcycle and begin taking his helmet off as you hopped off.

"Where are we?" You asked.

"Y/N, welcome to the birthplace of Steve Rogers." He said looking at the building with his hands on his hips.

"Birthplace? You mean the place you grew up in?"

"Oh no, I mean birthplace," He looked at you amused, "my mom didn't realize she was in labor until it was too late. She gave birth in front of her bedroom door."

"Wow you're mom must've been really tough to not know she was in labor."

"Yeah, she really was."

"I guess you got it from her Mr. I could do this all day." You mimicked his catchphrase causing him to laugh.

He walked you around his old neighborhood showing you his school, favorite dinners (or at least where they used to be), and the theater he would go to most often alone but on the rare occasion with Bucky on a double date.

"I forget you weren't always like this, a stud women chased after all the time." You joked.

"Well, I wasn't the best looking back then. Bucky- Well he was always the one getting women. He tried to help set me up with some but in the end, they were never interested."

"Well, they missed out on an amazing man." You looked up at him as the both of you stood in front of the abandoned theater.

His head hung down as he chuckled, "You mean the stud I am now?"

You smiled, "No. You don't need to be a stud to be an amazing man. Any woman would have been lucky to have you then or now. They were just too focused on looks to see that."

He wasn't quite sure what to say. You were such an amazing girl and no doubt attractive. He had always been so focused on Peggy that he didn't realize there was a girl for him in this time.

You both looked into each other's eyes smiling. For a quick second, he looked down at your lips then back up to your eyes. He didn't think you would notice but you did. Clearing your throat you looked back at the theater, "So Mr. Rogers if you were in the 40s right now where would you take a lady out on Valentine's day?"

"Well back then they used to have a fair on Valentine's day. They'd have rides, food stands, a fortune teller, and a photo booth. I went once on a double date with Bucky but my date left me halfway through, it was not fun." He let out a small laugh at the end.

"Let's do it." You said making your way back to the apartment complex where he left his motorcycle.

"What?" He caught up to you quickly.

"Let's give you the Valentine's Day fair you deserved."

"How?"

"There's a small amusement park not too far from here. They have rides and no doubt food stands. I'm sure they'll have a photo booth set up somewhere."

~~~~

"Welcome to Adventureland. Today tickets are half off for couples." The man at the booth greeted you both with a smile.

You grabbed Steve's hand happily, "Well it's a good thing we're a couple right Stevie?"

"Of course, darling." He said in an unconvincing tone wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

The man eyed you two for a second. Whether or not he

believed you, you weren't sure. He said nothing and gave you the price for the tickets. Before you can even reach for your wallet Steve grabbed his and paid the man. He handed you each a wristband that would give you access to the park.

Excited, you grabbed Steve's hand and ran into the park. He followed behind you laughing.

Gosh she's so darn adorable.

The amusement park wasn't as busy as you expected it to be. Most of the guests here were teenagers. Then there was you and a one hundred year old man in a 20/30 year olds body. You didn't care that you two were the oldest people there. You promised Steve you'd give him the Valentine's Day he deserved and you were sticking by your promise.

"So what shall we do first? Carousel, bumper cars, the spiney wanna be teacups- oh! Or the tunnel of love?" You said wiggling your eyebrows.

In that moment both of your stomachs growled.

"How about the restaurants?" Steve laughed.

"That might be a good start." You laughed along.

Neither of you even realized it but you were still holding onto his hand. As you walked to the nearest food place you're hands swung together in a child like way. When you walked into the restaurant there was a small line of people waiting to order. As the both of you stood in line you looked up at the menu together, still hand in hand. It wasn't until it was time to pay you both realized you'd been holding hands this whole time. You were going to reach for your wallet as Steve went for his when you tugged onto each other's hand. Quickly you let go and while your mind lingered on the feel of his hand in yours he took his wallet out first paying for both your meals. He thanked the cashier and took the receipt with the number of your order on it before leading you to an empty table.

"You paid for the tickets, I should've paid for the food." You frowned.

"Well you should've gotten to your wallet faster." He laughed at you and winked.

"That's not fair! I was... distracted."

"On what? My devilishly good looks?" He pretended to flip his hair causing you to laugh.

"Yes let's go with that."

You both ate in silence as you had both not rated since that morning and it was mid-afternoon. It was safe to say you were starving. As you and Steve got to your last bites you asked, "what should we do when we go back out?"

He leaned back into his chair thinking, "well we should start somewhere slow. We did just eat I don't want anyone getting sick out there."

"Right. Right. So... tunnel of love?" You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip of your drink.

He dropped his head laughing then nodded, "yes tunnel of love."

"Yes!!" You had only two bites of your food left so you quickly shoved it in your mouth then threw both your and Steve's trash away. He was barley understanding what was happening when you grabbed his wrist and pulled him along with you towards the door.

You were in line for the tunnel of love within 40 seconds of leaving the diner. Steve couldn't help but laugh, "Why are you so excited for this ride?"

"Umm hello!? Its Valentine's Day. This is THE Tunnel of Love. We would be missing out on a great opportunity if we didn't get on this ride today." You said as a matter of fact.

~~~~

When you exited the ride you both couldn't stop laughing, "That was the lamest ride I've ever been on." You were able to manage saying.

Steve nodded in agreement unable to say anything. You both finally calmed down taking some deep breaths. "Come on let's walk around and see what else we can do here." Steve nodded his head toward the other side of the park you had not explored yet. He put his arm around your shoulder as you two made your way to the other attractions.

"Come right up and test your strength!" You heard coming from the right of Steve. Peeking your head around him you gasped, "Oh my gosh, Steve you have to try that!"

"What? Why?"

"These games are also rigged so that strong men will never make it to the top. But you're not just strong your super human strong! You'll for sure beat the game."

Steve just shrugged her shoulders, "You convinced me." He let go of your shoulders dropping his arm to his side's then walked over to the man at the booth, "I'd like to take a crack at this game." Steve casually said.

The man looked a bit nervous, obviously knowing who Steve was and just how strong he could be. "Are you sure about that sir? There may be some other games you might find more fun than this boring old thing."

Steve just smiled at him overconfident, "This one looks just fine. How much to play?"

"Only $3 my good sir."

Without even looking down at his money he handed the man three dollar bills, then took the mallet getting ready to strike. Almost as if it were nothing Steve hit the button causing the bell to hit all the way to the top. A ding indicated Steve was 'Stronger than Captain America' or at least that's what the board said, but what does it know? It's just a board after all.

You watched him in amusement as he picked the biggest prize they had on display, a narwal stuffed animal the size of Steve's head.

He proudly walked back over to you, "Here you keep it."

"Thank you. What should we name it?" You asked as you both continued walking throughout the park.

This time Steve stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, "Umm how about Twinkle. It looks like it has stars here on its tail." You turned the animal over proving him right. "Ok Twinkle it is."

As time went on and the food in your stomach settled you both moved onto better rides. The one you were both excited about was the bumper cars. You buckled twinkle up in the seat next to yours as you chased Steve around trying to crash into his car. Somehow in that tiny room you lost him and crashed into some teenagers. Then you felt something crash into your side. Sitting in the cart next to yours was Steve laughing mischievously. You were ready to chase after him when the ride ended.

You two started getting tired when the sun began to set. Instead of leading you to the parking lot Steve rushed you both over to the Ferris wheel insisting it would be the last ride of the night. When you were both strapped in you set Twinkle down between you both. Steve rest his arm around you as your compartment rose into the air. The higher up you went the colder it got. It didn't bother Steve but he could tell it bothered you. He felt your shivering grow the closer you got to the top. He pulled you in closer to him and rubbed your arm with his hand. When you reached the top your breath hitched at how beautiful the view was. You could see the lights of the amusement park being lit up as the sky turned into colors of oranges, pinks, and purples. By the time you reached the bottom the sun had completely set and the park was illuminated with street lights.

Steve hopped off first holding his hand out to help you. When you stepped down Steve didn't let your hand go, instead he interlocked your fingers together.

On your way back you spotted a small photo booth tucked away in one of the parks corners. Excited you started to tug in Steve's had with a wide smile, "Let's go this way!" You didn’t wait for his response when you turned directions toward the photo booth. He almost tripped over his own feet at the sudden change. Then without saying a word you pulled him into the booth with you. Taking advantage of his confusion you took your money out to pay for the photos. “Smile!” You said excitedly as the first of three pictures were taken. The photo booth was a bit old and didn’t have a screen to show you what the photos looked like right after they were taken.

You and Steve exited the booth excited to see your pictures. The first one you were smiling as Steve looked at you confused. The second photo he had his arm around your shoulder but his hands were making bunny ears as you both smiled. In the last photo you kissed Steve’s cheek. Sadly only one copy was printed, “You keep it. I’m sure we’ll take more in the future.” You said walking away.

He stood there and smiled to himself looking at the picture, “there definitely will be.”

[bitchassbucky]

.eps (cut)

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning/s: dark!bucky x dark!reader, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, blood mention, gore and dismemberment, murder, toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, sedation/drugging/use of sedative, stockholm syndrome-ish, one very special character reveal

A/N: this version of the epilogue is the 'clean cut' - there's a good chunk of it missing but it's not particularly important to the story. if you want to read the EXPLICIT version, there should be another one uploaded at the same time. (sorry, this is scheduled so i don't have the link yet lol)

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

Safeness, comfortability, warmth are all but a false sense of reality.

When a prey takes down its walls, the predator moves in. Camouflaged in familiar colors, in words that you’re used to hearing, in praises, in lies. Most predators use the mask of the night to move in darkness—unyielding and calculated. Come morning, there will be only one left alive, tainted with victory and bloodshed.

You and Bucky have been engaging in a dance for two—a battle of who’s willing to take the leap of faith and unleash hell upon the other.

Stifled smiles and pursed lips.

The air is filled with unsaid irritants, little things that ticked away like bombs.

There was no time for pleading, no time for mercy, no rest for the wicked.

Did you still love each other?

How far are you willing to go to keep up with his… complacency?

Bucky’s mundane life already taking a toll on you. The endless nightmares of him feeling you. The swirling vision of Bucky being with you every waking—and sleeping—moment: it grates your soul to shreds.

“We’ll be together forever, right?”

“Yes, darling.”

“What about the day after forever?”

“That too, honey.”

Where was the man you loved so deeply? The man that broke his morals just to be with you?

Was he under this hull of a Yes Man? A poor little thing that says ‘yes’ to everything like a puppy.

The man you held so dearly now slipping away, chipping his humanity, shedding the once-human.

“Would you marry me tomorrow if I asked you?”

“Of course, baby, why wouldn’t I?”

“Would you kill for me?”

“I’m meant to do the same for you.”

It’s irritating how Bucky gave up too quickly. Too fast, moving too fast. The gazelle let the lion tear its neck as it lay there, unmoving, letting the blood seep into its hide.

When you first met Bucky, it was your own fairytale unfolding before your eyes. Kismet, reality, forgiveness from above. He was soft and shy, passionate, lively.

Far from what you expected from a man his age—you blame Steve for forcing you into his narrative before. That all men are out to get you. They will hurt you. They will use you and leave you for good. But Bucky? Bucky came in like a knight. He saved you from the carcass of your past. He saved you from the sins that you prayed and knelt for.

Bucky taught you how to love.

Bucky taught you how to live for yourself.

Bucky taught you that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

“It was an unspoken little thing, wasn’t it?”

“What thing, baby?”

“Our love.”

“Yes, honey, it was.”

He worships you.

He worships you like a fucking God and you hate it.

Suffocating, too suffocating. You dove straight for the water and now you’re drowning.

Do you still love each other? The question hangs in the air, heavy with its weight, light as a feather.

It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.

You stand there with a syringe half-filled with a horse sedative. It’s a concern how easy it is to waltz into a pet store and pick up a general anesthetic. You make a mental note to look at it later.

Bucky’s body slumps forward, his forehead meeting the edge of the table with a dull thud. If the overdose doesn’t kill him, the weeping crack in his head will.

Holy fuck, humans bleed a lot. And fast. Good thing you already have that clear tarp taped down. Even with the hush money stuffed down your throat, it would take a good nick to regrout the kitchen.

“What is that for, honey?”

“I’m painting the cabinets.”

“Okay, darling.”

So you let him bleed, surprised that the liquid is redder than what you thought it would be. A soft gurgling noise came from Bucky, the last of air escaping his dead body. You stood there, syringe in hand, as you thought how to dispose of a six-foot-tall man without arousing suspicion.

Not that he’ll be missed anyway: the local news and the internet already branded him as a psycho and you as a victim. You were both victims in this fairytale. They reported his case as “skipped the town like the sicko he is.” So, no—no one’s going to look for him.

The sun was high up in the sky and there was a dead body in your kitchen.

A butcher and a surgeon walk into a bar for a drink. “What do you do for a living?” Said the butcher, “I save lives! What about you?” The doctor answers. “I save animals from dying slowly. We’re basically the same. You’re just very clean.” You see, the butcher comes into the bar covered in blood, reeking of death. The surgeon, on the other hand, wears his white coat with pride even though he’s surrounded by death every passing second.

Today was the day you learned that you have the tools of a butcher and the precision of a surgeon. Unlike before.

You carefully take Bucky’s fingers off of his left hand, leaving a skin flap on the edge of the last knuckle for you to stitch close later. Four promises. Four goddamn promises and he broke all of them.

It was his fault that he’s dead. He made you do this.

Placing the body into the trunk of a rental, you begin your journey to the end of your fairytale. Off to the woods, where you buried your first love. In a town where not everyone who dies leaves.

The drive to and from the place was tiring, to say the least. The internet connection of the diners was spotty at best. Locals were overly friendly with the city folks who came passing through their towns. The roads reek of roadkill and manure from the farm animals that were left to roam for fresh grass.

At least you get to come home in a spotless apartment, alone once again.

But not lonely.

Your space is yours again. No trace of anyone anywhere. Immaculately yours.

—

Humans are social creatures.

No one can truly be alone, especially in today’s world where we’re connected to everyone—whether we liked it or not.

Leaving your wretched job behind was an easy feat to do. No one can say no to the victim of such a vile crime. That’s all they saw you: a helpless little thing. So off you went; saying half-assed goodbyes and sending emails of courage and hope and fucking resilience.

Your resignation meant that the company’s free of any dirt from you, Bucky’s disappearance quickly becoming a joke and a rumor blending in one.

They let you leave: in your bank account a fat check ensuring that you’d shut up about the scandal for months until you can’t feed yourself no more. So you packed your bags and jet off without looking back. You never liked that apartment anyway.

Nevertheless, you found yourself looking into another dead-end job in one of the towns you stopped over before. It’s a charming place like time froze in their plaza while the rest of the world went on. You found a small studio apartment in a street tuckered away from the main avenue, you settled there as days became nights and nights turned into days.

You woke up one morning craving a healthy serving of coffee and pancakes, luckily the town’s local diner wasn’t far from your new home.

The coffee was too hot, the pancakes were amazing, fluffy, and just right. You’re sitting in a sunny booth, the warmth doing its wonders.

“Hi, can I get today’s paper, please?” Your voice is sweet as you call your server, giving her a quick smile.

A pair of Raybans adorn your face, unconsciously hiding behind its darkened glasses. The waitress gives you a thick stack of newspapers, refilling your cup with black coffee.

Upon opening the paper, you ignore the town’s headlines and go straight for the job postings. The door jingled open as patrons come in and go, waving to familiar faces.

Job Vacancy Announcements

Secretary to the Town Sheriff

You skimmed over the rest of the details, only noting the address of the office. The job looks quite lucrative for someone who would only take messages and organize files for the sheriff.

Looking over the job posting again, you read over the words walk-ins only. That shouldn’t be hard enough.

The diner looked deserted save from the man sitting behind your booth. Leaning over and tapping his shoulder, you put on a polite smile, “Hi, sorry, do you know how to get to the sheriff’s office from here?”

“Hello, darling.” The man croons in an accent, he looks over to you, “join me in my booth, will ‘ya?”

You’re in no position to reject his proposal, you’re the one who needed an answer.

Taking your coffee cup, you slide into his booth, “hi.”

“Just the face I wanted to see.” Clean-shaven, a hint of mint and smoke, and something woody; a worn leather jacket and white button-up shirt hugging his soft frame. “Some folks over on the apartment complex were talkin’ about a city girl wanting to rent a studio all by herself. That happen to be you?”

You look over to him, trying to understand how that small of news spread like a wildfire, “yeah. I moved in a week ago.”

He leans over, smiling sweetly as he unabashedly lets his eyes roam your features, “What’s a city girl like you doin’ in a place like this? I hope we ain’t too boring for you, gal.”

Chatty—he’s way too chatty.

“Just wanted a change of pace, really. Away from the bustle of the city.” You rustle the paper, clearing your throat to get back on the matter on hand, “so the sheriff’s office? Is it too far from here?”

“What business are ‘ya bringing into the office?”

“A job, actually. Says here that they’re looking for a secretary.” You might as well tell him everything, he seems too chatty to be dismissed over and over again.

“Well, darlin’, today’s your lucky day. No need to drive down the old road.” He reaches down to his seat, pulling up a brown hat, “Hi, I’m Sheriff Bodecker. Now, to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

You bite back a giggle, you’ve always wanted to be involved with the law.

[plainbrunettelbl]

ABO (A) Kirishima Eijiro x (O) Reader Pharmacy Run (Zombie AU)

Word count: 1781

Warnings: Gore. Mentions blood. 

Title: ABO (A) Kirishima Eijiro x (O) Reader Pharmacy Run (Zombie AU)

Summary: You got on a pharmacy run and things turn south. 

(Gif not mine credit to owner) 

🦈-It had been three months since things went to hell.

🦈-You had been one of the lucky Omegas that took suppressants to block their heats and scent. You had just filled your prescription that week so you had a whole three months covered.

🦈-You had hidden in an abandoned gas station. It was one meant for truckers so you had access to running showers which you were reluctant to enjoy because the water pounded heavily against the tiles.

🦈-You only settled there because they had metal shutters that would come down. It was secure and you felt safe there. As safe as one could get in a zombie apocalypse.

🦈-You stayed low and didn’t draw any attention to yourself. The gas station was located on a high way leading out of the city so you didn’t hear many survivors passing through.

🦈-The yells and screams you did hear kept you awake at night. You knew being an Omega was dangerous in regular society but now that Omegas were few and far between Alphas had lost any sense of control.

🦈-You would rather die being torn apart by zombies than have a feral Alpha catch you.

🦈-You only had one week of suppressants left before you ran out. You knew both the dead and alive would come for you if you didn’t find more soon. That was why you were on the roof of an old supermarket.

🦈-You wanted to scope out the place before you went in.

🦈-You stayed up there for a while and didn’t hear the telltale signs of the dead occupying it. You didn’t hear the knocking over of cans or the crunch of glass they unsteadily walked on.

🦈-The sun was still up high so you thought it was time to finally enter the decrepit supermarket. You would like to get back to your home before the sun started dipping. You would have liked to go through the back since pharmacies were always located in the back but the door was chained up.

🦈-So you looked down the empty street for both the dead and living before sneaking in the entrance. You noticed the shelves were almost bare. A few cans of still lingered but you didn’t dwell on them.

🦈-You were here for the only thing you really needed to survive. A full belly was nice but you would rather have you scent masked then snag a few cans. You walked through the aisles jumping at every creak of the building.

🦈-You arrived at the pharmacy, it was just as trashed as the rest of the building. Paper bags that were once white now soiled in dirt and blood scattered the floor. You were careful to avoid them, not wanting to make any unnecessary sounds.

🦈-The drawers had straightforward labels. Antibiotics, allergy medicine, fever medication, and so on. You paused when you came across suppressants. You shakily opened it, hoping with all your heart that it wasn’t empty.

🦈-Your eyes sparkled when your eyes gazed at a decent pile of monthly packs. At least a year worth. Your Omega jumped in joy. Although she was upset that pups weren’t on the list anytime soon she enjoyed living just as much.

🦈-You stuffed all of the suppressants in your backpack before throwing in anything else you thought might have been useful.

🦈-You were too focused on the abundance of medicine that you didn’t notice unsteady footsteps creeping your way. It was only when you heard a moan so close nearby did you look up, to zombies had followed you to the back.

🦈-You were quick to hide behind the shelves, they were sniffing the air. You might not have been out much but you noticed a pattern. If you were more than a fifteen feet in away from them they would pick up your Omega scent even with the suppressants.

🦈-Farther away they still showed interest but didn’t pursue you as hard.

🦈-These ones must have been walking by and smelled you straight away. You were glad it was only two of them and not a whole hoard. The cities were known for their big crowds.

🦈-You grabbed an empty medkit and threw it on the other side of the room. They were quick to snap their head in that direction and pursue the noise. You slowly maneuvered around the paper bags again before silently dashing away.

🦈-They much have just came from a fresh kill. The floors were slick with blood from their footsteps. You didn’t notice until your slipped and hit your head on one of the shelves, cans crashed all around you.

🦈-You were a little disoriented, ringing in your ears made you unsteady and the pain in your head made you dizzy. Without your permission, your Omega sent out a chirp.

🦈-Any Alpha within a mile would have heard. You didn’t know if the zombies were sensitive to them too. They certainly were obsessive over your smell. You tried to get back up to run out but you crumpled over right away.

🦈-It was pointless to hold in your whimpers at that point. You got your suppressants but they cost your life. You pictured yourself bleeding out on the dirty floor as you felt the dead pair steadily walking your way for their next meal.

🦈-You felt another presence from the opposite side of the aisle. You thought it was just another zombie ready to sink their teeth into you but a loud growl rumbled through them.

🦈-It wasn’t like the growls you heard from the dead on a regular basis. No, it was a familiar one from the old world. One that said to back off from someone’s mate. You lifted your eyes and caught a blurry red-haired figure.

🦈-He carried a bat with him and hung it over his bulky shoulder. You could make out the faint outlines of nails pounded into it. You didn’t doubt that it was deadly in this strong Alphas hands.

🦈-He ran down the aisle and jumped over your slumped figure. His bat came down on the nearest zombie head. He was quick to bring his bat down on the other, with a heaving chest and blood dripping down his bat he turned your way.

🦈-Your vision had cleared up a bit the feral scowl on his face made you whimper. He was one of them, an Alpha with only one thing on his mind.  In an instant, his face softened and he took a step back. He didn’t drop the bat but he lifted his hands up to show he wasn’t to be feared.

🦈-“Are you okay? Did I get here in time, Omega?” His eyes scanned your body, besides the trickle of blood on your head you seemed fine.

🦈-His Alpha calmed at the thought. He was just going on a food run when he heard a chirp. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him but the hairs on his neck were evidence enough.

🦈-“I’m fine. They didn’t get to me.” You mumbled, holding your backpack strap tighter.  

🦈-“I’m glad.” He breathed, he didn’t let his guard down yet. His hero trained ears picked up on heavy footsteps coming from the entrance no doubt a big group was making their way over.

🦈-“We have to go.” He urged, eyes trying to look over the shelves to see how many to expect. He didn’t like what he was seeing.

🦈-You nodded and tried to stand up, your legs weren't cooperating, you wobbled as you stood. Kirishima didn’t think anything of it as he leaned down and tossed you over his wide shoulder.

🦈-You wanted to protest but knew this wasn’t the right time. You lifted your head to cover your backs. The dead were just entering the aisle. Kirishima wasted no time dashing into the back where you came from.

🦈-He was heading towards the back door.

🦈-“The door is chained shut. There is no way we are getting out that way.” You rushed, looking over at the metal door.

🦈-“Watch me.” He growled, running towards the door at neck-breaking speed.  

🦈-A cry got stuck in your throat, this was gonna hurt.

🦈-Only it didn’t, the Alpha hardened his fist and punched the door straight off, chains went crashing to the ground in a loud clang. Your Omega took this time to purr at the strong Alpha.

🦈-Not the time Omega.

🦈-Kirishima warmed at the sound but he pushed forward. He needed to get you to safety. He spotted a metal fire escape and took the chance. He used his leg power to launch himself up and grab at one of the bars.

🦈-You had already taken to hugging him like a koala and wrapped your legs around his thick waist. Your arms looped around his neck. He climbed up the ladder no problem and got you to the roof safely.

🦈-The building seemed to be an apartment complex so he didn’t want to crawl through the windows and meeting the old tenants. He stood on the roof and waited for you to detach yourself from him.

🦈-You were reluctant to leave his safe embrace but you slowly climbed down from him.

🦈-“Thank you, Alpha.” You sent him a small smile, noticing the way he stood up straighter when you called his title.

🦈-“It’s no problem. I am glad you are safe. I’m Kirishima.” He smiled, showcasing his sharp teeth before offering a rough hand for you to shake.

🦈-Your small one felt even smaller in his huge hand.

🦈-“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Kirishima.” You replied, shuffling on your feet. You didn’t know what to do now. It seems you would be stuck on the roof for a while if the groans below had anything to say about it.

🦈-“Do you like canned chili? I just picked up a load of them.” He tore off his backpack and unzipped it. His Alpha was all too eager to provide for the Omega. He hadn’t seen one in so long and this one was so beautiful and smelled like a summer day by the ocean.

🦈-“I could eat, a near death experience really eats away the calories.” You joked, taking the offered can.

🦈-“I am feeling pretty hungry myself.” He grinned, cracking open his own can before pulling out two plastic spoons.

🦈-So you sat on the roof of an abandoned apartment complex eating spoonfuls of cold chili. The food might have been cold but the atmosphere was warm and comforting. 

🦈-You felt safe with this Alpha and you didn’t think you would be leaving his side anytime soon.

Again with the zombie AU. I hope you liked it. I love this shark boy.❤️🦈

Please reblog my work it really motivates me to write more. Leave a note as well if you want to see more from me.

[petitelepus]

Yo I noticed that you haven’t write about wreck gar so- wreck gar number 23?

THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG, BUT ENJOY SOME HUMANFORMERS WRECK-GAR AND SCHOOL!AU!

You hate it there. The school was a real drag and you couldn't stand being there any longer than you had to but the world was cruel and in hopes of getting a proper job one day you had to have graduated from university with grades that would shine like stars in the night sky.

You hated being in the classroom filled with people who didn't care shit about you and why should they? You hadn't exactly been talking with your classmates since... You started school a year and a half ago. You knew you could have made friends, but you hated school, you hated people and you hated yourself.

Especially when Professor gave back your exam and you saw a big fat C on the front page. You felt your stomach drop and despair clutch your heart. Another C...

You looked over your shoulder, watching after the professor, but he was already at the far end of the class. You swallowed as you put the exam away and waited for the class to end so you could talk with your professor. The class ended half an hour later and you wanted to approach the professor but he was surrounded by your classmates. So you waited and finally, when the other students had left, you approached the older man.

"Uh, professor? About my grade... Do you think I could take the exam again?" You asked bashfully and the man looked at you. "I'm afraid to tell, but all grades are final."

"B- but... I can do better. I just need some time." You swallowed, "Please professor Ratchet, let me take the exam again."

"Is everything alright?" Ratchet asked and you frowned in silence before nodding, "I guess..."

"Look kid, I'm going to ask you..." Professor Ratchet cleared his throat and looked at you seriously, "Is everything alright with you? You aren't being bullied or anything?"

"N- No, sir." You frowned. The old man nodded, "Is everything okay at your home?"

"I live alone." You blurted, but it was true. You used to live in this small town, but when you had gotten into Cybertronian University you had moved onto your own from home. The professor sighed and took his huge calendar and looked through the days. "I can't let you take the exam again, but if you want I can get you some remedial instruction."

"I..." You really didn't want that, but it might have been what you needed. "Can I think about it?"

"Sure thing kid." Professor nodded and looked at the clock that hung over the classroom's door. "Now get going. School is done by today."

You nodded and bid your professor good day before leaving. Only a handful of students were scattered around the university and you were one of them. You went to the front door and were about to leave when thunder suddenly roared and it started to rain like crazy. Typical Autumn rain.

You groaned. You didn't have an umbrella. Just your luck. Well, you would have to suck it up and take off. You pushed your school bag against your chest and ran out into the rain, but you had a plan. There was a 24/7 market just around the corner and they usually sold everything, umbrellas included.

You entered the store and the cashier looked at you as water dripped down your hair and clothing. You didn't dare to say anything but smile awkwardly as you took a shopping basket and went to search for food and an umbrella. Noodles for your poor ass, energy drinks for your night owl life, and a cheap umbrella.

You paid the cashier and left the store quietly before opening your new umbrella and setting on your journey back to your apartment. You tried to dig out your ear puds but you couldn't find them from your bag so they must have been left in your apartment.

"Shit. This day can't get any worse." You cursed by yourself and kept going while listening to thunder wreck havoc above in the clouds. As you thought what a crappy day you had you saw something orange peeking from an alley and you stopped for long enough to see what it was.

"Oh, you guys are adorable! What am I going to call you?"

It was a man with a bright orange jacket and a rucksack big and full enough to last for a long hiking trip. At first, you thought he might be drunk or on some sort of drugs as you listened to him talk by himself so excitedly. You were about to leave when you heard the tiniest meow and you stopped on your tracks. Cat?

Carefully, you patted the man's shoulder and he looked over the said shoulder at you. You blinked. "Uh, is everything okay?"

"Hello! I'm Wreck-Gar!" The man greeted you happily and stepped aside enough for you to see a cardboard box that was just about to crumble into wet mush in the hard rain... but what caught your attention were the 4 little kittens in the box. Your felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest and you awed.

Wreck-Gar smiled, "I found these little guys! Cute, aren't they?"

"Very cute." You nodded and looked at him. "Are they yours?"

"No, I found them!" He turned and took a folded paper from his pocket and gave it to you. "They had this with them!"

You took the paper and read the message. "Free Kittens." You frowned but Wreck-Gar was smiling. "Aren't we lucky! They are free!"

"They're orphans." You said and looked at the man. "They should be taken to shelter. Can you do that?"

"Sure!" He said with a wide smile but you frowned, remembering that all the shelters were probably closed by the time you would make it to one. School had stretched and the sky was turning dark. One of Autumn's many miracles. "They can be taken tomorrow. Do you have a home where to take them?"

"No! I just came to the city!" He said like nothing was wrong. You blinked in and wondered how he could be so happy? He is soaking wet, he has nowhere to go, and now he has four little lives in his arms. You weren't prepared for this. You were getting anxious, you had to get away.

"Ah... Okay." You nodded and turned to leave, "G- good luck!"

"Bye-bye!" The man called after you and you managed to step out of the alley before your feelings took over and assassinated your common sense. Fuck it. You turned around and raised the umbrella over the man's and kittens' heads. Wreck-Gar looked at you over his shoulder and smiled, "Oh, you came back!"

"Yes, uh... Do you have any place to go? Friends or something like that?" You asked, but Wreck-Gar shook his head, still smiling. "Nope! But I have a tent in my backpack! I can sleep in the park!"

He could definitely NOT do that! The cops would take him straight to the station and you didn't have enough money to send him to a motel. Aah, you felt a headache coming. Must have been thunder and this big man's constant happiness. Not only that, but you felt weak from hunger. You rubbed the ridge of your nose with your fingers and looked at him. "Would you like to come and spend the night at my place?"

You didn't believe it was possible, but Wreck-Gar's smile got even bigger and he jumped up on his feet from his crouching position and you were taken aback by how tall he was and you got to experience it as he hugged you tightly against his chest.

"I'm so happy! Me and kittens get to stay with-!" He stopped and frowned in confusion, "What's your name?"

You told him your name and he cheered up again as he repeated your name. You tapped his arm and he seemed to realize that he was hugging you a little too hard. "Oh, my bad!" He said and kneeled back down to grab two kittens and he offered them to you. "Will you help with kitties?"

"Yeah, sure. Hand them over." You nodded and carefully took the black and white kittens into your arms while trying not to drop your umbrella. Wreck-Gar got the last two kittens and you two started walking through the rainy city streets until you got to your building complex.

You inserted the key and opened the door, but just before you stepped inside you turned and looked at Wreck-Gar seriously. "If you try anything stupid then or I'll scream loud enough for neighbors to call the cops."

"Right! I won't try anything stupid!" He said and you had a feeling he was being genuine so you let him in and you took an elevator to your floor. Once there, you used your keys to get inside and flicked the lights on.

"Shit." You cursed when you realized what kind of a mess your apartment was. Empty noodle cups and empty energy drunk cans were scattered everywhere

"Did you have an accident?" Wreck-Gar asked and you blushed in embarrassment, "Wha- No! My apartment is a mess!" You cried out before shame washed over you and you took off your shoes and he copied you. Both of you put the kittens down and the little things immediately started to meow. You smiled and put your bag down. "Let's get you and kittens warm. You can sleep on my couch this night."

Wreck-Gar looked at your couch covered in clean or dirty laundry, you weren't sure anymore yourself either, but he was still smiling. "Got it! I'll sleep on the couch!"

"Just a second." You sighed as you grabbed your clothes and threw them onto your bed that weird enough was the only clean place in the small apartment. But just as you were about to go and search for the extra blanket you felt your headache turning worse. You had to sit down on your bed for a second, but Wreck-Gar seemed to notice you weren't feeling good.

"Are you okay?" He asked and you wanted to nod, but you couldn't. "Just... Tired."

The kittens were meowing and you wanted to help them, but your body seemed to shut down. You could rest your eyes a little bit. You closed your eyes for a moment to stabilize your breathing but you didn't open them... Not until a couple of hours later.

You groaned as you tried to recall what had happened, but your head was hurting too much. It felt like there were razor blades whirling inside your head. You groaned as you heard clanking here and there but suddenly the noises died out and someone pushed a cold glass of water into your hand and a pill to another.

You didn't even think, you just automatically took the pill and chased it down with water. "Thank you..." You muttered weakly before you buried your head between your pillows and fell back into sleep.

You didn't wake up, until the next day. You groaned, but you felt much better. Like, a ton better. You felt like a new person, but you still wanted to sleep... Until you heard meowing and your eyes snapped open as you bolted up. The kittens! Wreck-Gar! You looked around and saw the little black and white kittens chasing each other around the floor.

Wait. Your floor was clean? You looked around and saw that all your energy drink cans and empty noodle cups were gone. Also, what was that scent drifting through the air?

Suddenly your bathroom door opened and Wreck-Gar steps out of the little room, wearing your pink bathrobe and a towel wrapped around his head. The look on him was actually pretty funny and you snorted as you tried not to smile or laugh, but the man noticed and beamed like a sun when his brown eyes landed on you.

"You're awake!" He cheered before suddenly smacking his hands over his mouth and then whispering again, "You're awake...!"

You nodded as you looked around and then at him. "Did you clean here?"

"I wanted to help the nice person who helped Wreck-Gar and kitties!" He said and smiled as he rushed across the room to your small kitchen. You rubbed your eyes as you pushed yourself on your feet, grabbed some clean clothes, and went to take a shower. You let Wreck-Gar know that shower was taken and you got rid of your dirty clothes and took a quick shower.

You put the clothes on and stepped out of the bathroom, rubbing your hair clean dry with your towel and you were about to head to the kitchen but then you saw a bowl of soup on your coffee table in front of your couch.

"I made you soup since you're sick!" Wreck-Gar said happily and you blinked as you took a seat on the couch. "What is it...?"

"It's chicken noodle soup! Eat your soup before it gets cold!”

"How did you get chicken? I had nothing in my fridge." You asked and Wreck-Gar looked extremely proud of himself as he smiled, "I took all your cans to the recycle and got meat with the refunds!"

"What about kittens?" You looked at the four little furballs running around, but they didn't seem hungry. If anything, they had a lot of energy.

"I boiled some chicken for them also and shredded it!" He said and you turned to look at him. Wreck-Gar while you had been sick, this unknown person had cleaned, taken care of you and kittens, and made you all food. And that wasn't the end of it. You watched with eyes wide how the man took off the towel around his head and his long black hair fell over his shoulders.

You could feel a blush rise to your cheeks as you looked at him. You had been too tired and sick last night to take notice but Wreck-Gar was quite handsome. His skin was lightly tanned, he had a clean face with some mustaches that he must have cleaned up in the shower. And damn, he looked good as he tied his long dark hair into a bun.

Wreck-Gar notices you looking and your blush grew darker but he seemed completely clueless. He smiled instead and pointed at the soup, "Please eat! I called a doctor to check you!"

"You have a phone?" You asked and he seemed proud. "I have everything I need in my backpack!"

"Even local doctor's number?" You asked, but now you were just teasing him. You ate the chicken noodle soup he had made and you could feel your strength coming back to you.

A doorbell rang and you were about to let the doctor in with your control panel by the door, but Wreck-Gar was faster. "I'm buzzing you in, father!"

"Wait..." You blinked in shock, "You said you don't have friends or anyone to go to!"

"You didn't ask about family!" He said and you blinked. This man was either the most trusting and kindest man you have ever met or then he was that and dumb. Your apartment's doorbell rang and Wreck-Gar opened it for his father and-!

"Professor Ratchet?" You asked and the old man blinked in shock as his old eyes landed on you. He repeated your name in surprise and you looked at the younger man.

"You know my professor?"

"I sure do! Ratchet is my father!" Wreck-Gar exclaimed and your eyes widened in shock and you snapped your attention to your professor who looked like he was one now having a killer headache. He saw how you looked at him and shook his head. "He remembers wrong, I've told him I'm no father figure!"

"Ratchet and I met while hiking!" Wreck-Gar cheered. Ratchet grumbled under his breath as he walked to you and started to ask you questions about your health and how you were feeling. You told him honestly and he nodded, pleased that you were healthy again. "Must have been stress that got you. You can take a couple of days off from school, I'll let the other teachers know that you needed rest."

"Thank you." You were honestly so overjoyed that you could almost cry. Suddenly you heard a tiny meow and you all turned to look at the kittens that were interested in your professor's jacket. "I didn't know you had cats."

"I actually don't..." You frowned, "I found Wreck-Gar and he had found them in an alley."

"Of course." Ratched looked at the young man and grunted, "Wreck-Gar, you can't keep doing stuff like this!"

"I tried to help the kitties." He said and Ratchet crossed his arms. "I cannot let you stay here any longer and bother my student. Grab the kittens, you're coming to my place. We will discuss what to do with you there."

Wreck-Gar didn't seem to notice how serious the situation was, as he was still smiling. One by one they got the 4 kittens and Ratchet excused himself and his friend... But you couldn't let it be the end.

"Wait!" You called after them and they both stopped and looked at you. You blushed and swallowed your fears, "Professor, if Wreck-Gar doesn't have any other place to live... Could he stay with me?"

"Please, you don't have to feel any responsibility for him. I can take him off your hair." Professor said but you shook your head. "No, he actually took care of me instead of another way around. And I like him."

You smiled as you looked at Wreck-Gar who was beaming, "He isn't like other people I've met."

"I don't know... He needs to be taken out regularly and he needs very much attention and training." Ratchet said and you blinked. Did your professor just describe a dog?

"I think I can handle him." You smiled and Wreck-Gar cheered, "I get to live with such a nice person!"

Professor Ratchet grumbled but finally nodded, "Alright, but when you return to school after two days of rest, take Wreck-Gar with you. I'll get him a job there so he isn't leeching on you. Oh, and what are you going to do with the cats?"

"It's okay." You nodded as you scratched one kitty's chin, "I think we can find a home for them. Just like Wreck-Gar."

And you did. Your cousin happily took the kittens and found them a life-lasting home. Wreck-Gar moved to live on your couch and when you returned to the school, he got a job as a janitor. Not the most glamorous job, but he is good at cleaning and keeping the university in shape. He also made school less bad for you.

And... a couple of months later you and Wreck-Gar kinda started dating, but that was a story for another time.