#i’m not crying bc i’m depressed and misreble and feel like any steps i try to make to better myself don’t work or are in vain
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professionaljester · 11 months ago
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i’m just hormonal bc i’m on my period my life isn’t slowly getting worse and worse it’s just my period
#abc shut it#vent#i’m not crying bc i’m depressed and misreble and feel like any steps i try to make to better myself don’t work or are in vain#like i’m trying so hard but i feel so cut off and isolated#my very existsnce feels pointless#like look all i know i do is complain but i really am trying#i try not do but it’s fucking pointless bc im so socially stunted and all i get is pity instead of genuine help#i get told to help myself and try harder when i can only do that for so long when i have no community supporting me#my own mother talks to one of my highschool friends than she does me#i wanna make more art froends in the community but i can’t seem to relate to any of them#and connections don’t get made more than just chit chat at conventions#i get told to talk in the artist alley fiscord i’m in but i feel like i don’t belong and don’t click there#and the server overwhelms me bc i’ve never been in a server that big and complex and no one wants to hold my hand through it#just use it and talk#where??? what channels???? what the fuck is any of this what are these folders and what topics of conversation belov where#i’m never invited to servers and the one two i’ve been in i got kicked from for bs reasons and the other died#like how am i suppose to use discord when i can’t carry a conversation and i’m expected to contadntly reach out if i wanna feel like i exist#outside my own fucking mind#like i’m genuinely going fucking crazy and i wanna go to therapy#but that’s kinda sad bc all i do is vent on her or talk to a therapist bc i have no one to fucking turn too#like a therapist will tell me everythig everyone has already told me as if i don’t already know that shit#like lmao lol i do infact have a time limit believe it or not#i could get medicated for depression and anxiety then what?#i’m just a medicated loner austin freak who can’t make friends#i try and try and try to figure out how to be likeable and keep people in my life but i just don’t know what’s fucking wrong with me#like i just dunno how to cope anymore the only reason i haven’t relapsed back into self harm is bc i am a 25 years old#that’s so childish i cannot be doing that anymore lol what am i a stupid fucking baby#but god i am really struggling to find reasons to keep living#and i feel so dumb complaining when ppl have worse lives than me
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