#i’m mostly joking i don’t think what carol did was cool

[chekovs-merkin]

giving aos kirk a kid is cute and poignant. giving tos kirk a kid makes me want to call cps

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets/Pirate Month: Muppet Treasure Island Review!: The Darkest and Most Tim Curry Muppet Film of All (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all ye swabs and welcome back to pirate month, my look at a bunch of pirate media as we sail out of summer, as well as Monthly Muppets, my monthly look at muppet media as comissoined by my good friend emma. 

Today’s film is one I did see as a kid but hardly remember as did my co-pilot for this one @jess-the-vampire. I dont’ remember hating it but I do remember drifting off, findng parts boring and only remembered cabin fever and part of Kermit and Piggy’s duet. Little Me was just ambvalient to it unlike say Problem Child , Heavyweights or  Little Rascals which conversely i’d watch on loop at my grandmas. Classics one and all that i’m bound to cover someday (Or sooner if you want to comission it, wink wink)

So it took me until the tender, innocent age of 30 to not only watch it again.. but to truly enjoy it. Dosen’t mean kids can’t, i’ve heard plenty of people loved and grew up with this one, i’ts just the weird ass path i’ve taken in life I suppose. On rewatch.. this film was excellent if not at all what I expected. I mean it is in ways; i’ts an adaptation of a classic british novel , done because Christmas Carol was a huge hit so the Muppet Crew wanted to keep going down this road, and as far as I could tell production went well. While Tim Curry wasn’t the first choice in mind, they also had the equally great casting of David Bowie and the baffling casting of Mic Jagger (who is a great musician but just dosen’t have Curry or Bowie’s Charisma), in mind, otherwise productoin went well and while the film didn’t do great in the box office, thus leading to muppets from space, the first film covered for this feature, it as should be clear did great on home video. 

What caught me off guard.. was the tone. See I forgot just how seriously Christmas Carol took things, essentially being an almost straight adaptation of the book but iwth some muppety jokes and the various muppet cast members dotted about and playing apporirate parts. Still fully muppety but far more serious than the usual madcap antics. Treasure Island takes that and runs with it, but while Christmas Carol’s darkness comes from the fairly dark subject matter, a bitter greedy old man, the things that he lost becoming this way and the horrible things to come for him and those around him should he stay th ecourse, this is an adventure story and being an adventure story written before censors stepped in for children.. it’s one shockingly paved in blood and something that the movie mostly stays very close to. The OPENING SCENE is a dead serious and wicked cool musical number, and as has been standard since Labyrinth i’ll get to those later on their own, about pirates, dead men telling no tales.. and that ends in Captain Flint MURDERING most of his crew to keep the treasure secret. We don’t see it but most muppet productions don’t open with cold blooded murder for pure greed, nor are most bits of mupet violence played dead seriously like this

And this isn’t a tonal clash: While there are PLENTY of jokes, and all time great ones for the muppets as a whole the story and it’s stakes are mostly played dead serious. And you’d THINK this wouldn’t work.. while the muppets can have truly good truly deep stories, see the 2011 movie, usualy their more in the line with personal drama when drama does crop up. The muppets usually don’t do big sweeping adventure stories. Yet.. it works pefectly. The jokes are spaced out well from the dramatic scenes and the action set pieces, so the transition isn’t jarring. For instance at one point Tim Curry’s Long John Silver valiantly holds back his traiterous crew to save Jim, our human lead more on him in a sec, we get some space to progress the plot more with Jim, and then we cut back to an all time great gag as his crew literally hand him a black spot (a black spot, aka the black death, was seen as a polite vacation certain doom. Full credit to jess for just casually knowing that) The film can be as madcap as a muppet film needs to be, with it’s all time best bit being the roll call

I saw this on tumblr years ago and it’s lived in my head with ME paying it rent for the pleasure of staying ever since.  One of the best muppet bits period and one of my personal faviorites. I mean you have this, yet it dosen’t detract from the story. 

Getting into the story so we have context, and because it makes it easier to get into some bits, the story follows Jim  Hawkins, a young lad played by the equally young at the time Kevin Bishop. He is incredibly good in the part despite his age, being a bit shouty (as child actors tend to be) but still earnest, heartwarming and when needed steadfast in his convictions. And i’m proud to say Bishop had a career after this, mostly tv but he IS the current voice of 2D of the Gorillaz, and that will never not be the highlight of anyones resume. 

Jim is an orphan, a slight change from the original where his parents both lived and his dad only died shortly into the story, but one that makes sense: it streamlines things and makes his close friendship with Gonzo and Rizzo, who are apparnetly also children? It’s Vauge, and both were SUPPOSED to be in jim’s part entirely, but the execs figured the two just didn’t fit for the emotoinal core of the story.. and were right. The two are amazing characters but they just don’t WORK as a wide eyed 12 year old boy. Granted that leave sme scratching my head why they didn’t just use robin, the actual child in the muppet troupe, but Bishop was great, so it worked out. 

Jim toils at an inn for a selfish boss who can always tell what anyone says “how does she do that”, listenting to the stories of Billy Bones played by Billy Connoly, who has pride at being the only person killed in a muppets film to die on screen. The landlady, Mrs. Bluvridge is played of course by british icon Jennefer Saunders. Always a delight to have her pop up in something. While most of the pub thinks bones is full of rum soaked barnacles, turns out he was righ tin the tale he tales, of being one of the only ones to know where Captain Flint’s treasure is via a map he stole. Naturally he gets beset by other pirates, and Jim and co barely escape thanks to Jennifer Saunders FIGHTING THE PIRATES OFF. God I love this job. 

They convince the son of a lord, played by Fozzy, and his assitants played by bunsen and beaker who naturally had a gunpowder mishap shortly before meeting our heroes, to fund a trip. Unfortunately the rich dimwit son trusts the tiny man in his finger to hire the crew

So while the captain is the utterly stalwart, kind and resonable Smolett, played by Kermit the frog here, and his first mate the stick in the mud who wants to commit attrocities in Smolett’s name only for Kermit to say

Or somethign like that, the rest of the boat is a wretched hive of scum and villiany, and to no ones shock are both the ones behind the attack on bones and the former crew of the traitorious captain, all lead by the MVP for the film, the man with the sexiest non-keith david voice in the world, the sexiest man to ever put on panty hose, and that’s a long list, and one of the coolest guys to ever live, Tim Curry, playing Captain John Silver. 

Curry is the best part of the film, and yes i’m aware it’s a film filled with the muppets at the top of their game. He’s the rare actor who upstages the fucking muppets, and he does so with gusto, playing the roll of Long John Silver to the hilt, and doing so better than I’ll wager anyone ever has. I could be wrong as i’ve barely seen any adaptations of treasure island, but I doubt I am. 

He plays Silver as smooth, charming, able to easily bond with young Jim and quickly taking the kid on as a surrogate son, genuine in his love for the boy and care for him. That said he’s also cunning, ruthless and when he goes full ham he goes FULL HAM, with a wonderful song we’ll get to later to show that off. He’s at the same time threatning and charming as all hell because i’ts tim curry, it’s what he was born for. He’s clever, ruthless, and cool, yet also can be funny as seen with  the black spot scene and his musical number, without ever breaking character. He plays off the muppets without missing a beat and the film would not be as good without him as it’s core. And that’s INCREDIBLY rare to say for a muppet movie, but it’s the truth; Tim Curry takes the film seriously when he needs to and has fun the whole time, and this is to this day one of his faviorite rolls and makes me even sadder he’s retired. He’s a swashbuckling badass bar none and the gold standard for pirates for me now on... well okay much like the gold standard for sexy voices it’s a tie but in fairness.. his competttion is VERY steep

So yeah Curry rocks as silver and rolls easily, with him and Kermit playing move for move. Kermit is also amazing in this, being a tough but fair captain, only taking jim’s map when it’s clear the danger of someone stealing it is too great and almost, ALMOST beating silver: after Jim overhears he’s behind the mutiny, Kermit plans to MOTHERFUCKING MAROON THEM FOR A YEAR. It only dose’nt work because silver, being tim curry, is one step ahead and takes jim. 

And Silvers relationship with Jim is another key part of the film, as the two geninely bond and the only thing you can trust about silver.. is that he cares for the boy. His attempt to make jim join them dosen’t seem born out of ego or neceisity, he could simply just toruture the boy into it or have his crewmates back on the ship bring someone as a hostage.. but he dosen’t. He wants Jim to join him because he wants his son back, gladly defends the boy and kills poor dead tom at gunpoint when that fails, and the final confrintation between the two is truly heartbreaking. We’ll get to that. Curry and Bishop play off each other wonderfully. 

For now though, our heroes thankfully sent a landing party of Steed, Gonzo and Rizo. Unforutnatley they run into the weakest part of this some wild pigs

Not you pal, but it IS nice to see you again. 

No it’s another stock “savage natives’ sterotype , who have made piggy, aka Benjamina, a CHOICE for a name instead of just calling her benni since she’s adapted from a male character. I am so fucking tired of running into this crap in my reviews. Like i’ts not just general racisim. I’ve seen plenty of that too. but this kind of stupid shit was in everything and i’m glad i’ts gone because this was irritating and Piggy really adds nothing to the film. She has a romance plot with Kermit.. and that’s about it. Their number as they hang off a cliff together is also a crime for the ears. 

So with that we cue the music for a second. And the music here is mostly really good.. but what isn’t grinds the movie to a halt. So let’s talk about them

The opening number, Shiver Me Timbers, is an omnious, forboding and perfectly mood setting piece, and easily the films second best number, with only one we’ll get to topping it. It woudlnt’ be out of place in any work with pirates and should be mandatory for pirate works but alas, not the world we live in. 

Something Better is a VERY boring, very typical “I WANT A BETTER LIFE BY GOSH BY GOLLY” number. It’s nowhere near the best in it’s genre and just wasted 2 minutes of my life instead of really adding anything. Could’ve been cut without any real issue. 

Sailing for Adventure on the other hand captures the spirit of adventure the other song was going for MUCH better as the crew of the hispanola sings their hearts out about the voyage and it is awesome. Flawless, no notes. 

Cabin Fever is the most fun song and a wacky number where all the muppets aboard not part of the plot bar fozzy and the ambigoiusly gay duo have a party have a ball. A true bit of fun. 

Professional Pirate is my faviorite. It’s also tim Curry’s main song and as should be clear anytime tim curry sings it’s fucking trancendant. Though we already knew that LONG before this movie

It should be also mandatory tim Curry sings this in every work he’ sin, but sadly not the world we live in once more. 

Love Led Us Here Blows. It’s a power ballad between kermit and piggy, and we’ve not only got better love ballads from both, but this one goes on for an enternity. The only entertainmetns is the weird cuts to the pirates findign the gold and partying, the best being the shot I used as the main one for the review: Tim Curry grinning ear to ear while making it rain. As bad as that song is, it gave us that and i’ll give it that. 

The final song is Love Power by Son of Bob Marley. It’s a generic Reggae Song and is only MARGINALLY better than Love Led Us Here. It dosen’t fit the film at all, feels horribly out of place and feels like the most “Stuido Mandate” thing i’ve seen since the Iluminati section of Multiverse of Madness

The climax to the film before that though is great as we get a full on action scene that works with the muppets.. and Sam, who was sent away on a dinghy but I forgot, who is THE ONLY verison of mr. arrow to surivive suprisingly enough, boogtey boogetys the pirates into fear and allows our heros to save the day. we also get kermit swordfighting tim curry and doing backflips

It’s the scene after that’s the real climax, as Silver attempts to sneak away with a few treasure chests.. only for Jim to confront him. It’s utterly heartbreaking, with Jim wondering why Silver did all this, and Silver admitting he can’t turn back, it’s too late for him.. but that his love for the boy, for his son.. was never in question. Both are clearly heartbroken.. but both have taken a path the other can’t follow; Jim has found a family who values his honesty and inegrity and Silver can’t be a part of it. The best he could do is stay and be executed.. so go he must as the two tensely stand off, Jim with a whistle, Silver with a pistol.. and Silver backs down, unable to hurt his son. Turly effecting stuff, especailly Kermit who was there.. and who says Jim did the right thing. Our heroes take off for wherever adventure takes them, Silver ends up with his boat sinking (an original additon though him somehow escaing is part of the story. Weird), and we’re out

As you can probably tell this film is awesome it’s only problems being love lift us up and the piggy subplot that feels tacked on just to get her into the movie. Seriously cutting that could help the film’s pacing amazingly and get rid of some good old 90′s racisim. Everyone wins. But otherwise.. this film is a masterwork, it’s rightfully loved and I recommend checking it out. As for where it ranks with the muppet films i’ve covered so far, well thanks to letterboxed instead of typing you, I can just SHOW ya

It sits at a comfy #3 as while having a weaker plot, I felt most wanted was slightly stronger, though both are pretty close in quality. 

Next Month: It’s time to hit the big apple as the muppets take manhattan! Will I like it better this time than I did first seeing it years ago?

But find out next month and thanks for reading. 

[lovelyirony]

Moony-Eyed

@bironfam i hope this is okay! 

Tony didn’t think that their new astronaut was going to be anything special. 

Well. 

That’s a lie. 

You kind of have to be special if you’re going to be an astronaut for NASA. You have to keep your cool, have good eyesight, and be okay with the possibility of dying. Maybe. Maybe you have to be cool with that. 

Tony is rather good at his job. From revolutionizing how space suits are made to making the functions of the ship easier to manage, Tony is NASA’s secret weapon, the handyman of all handymen. 

He’s usually squirreled away in his workshop, at his apartment that he honestly needs to clean far more than he does, or arguing with Potts about why he needs eight different coffee mugs. 

They know him as a guy who doesn’t exactly give a rat’s ass about the chain of command, or dress code. 

“You can’t fire me,” he had told Happy, after he had tried once again to stop Tony from entering areas containing sensitive information in sweatpants and a sweatshirt that proclaimed him the “MIT class of 1992.” 

Tony is good at his job, nearly too good. He likes it that way. 

But back to the astronaut. 

Danvers had taken leave to take care of her family, and honestly? Space usually isn’t a lifetime event for astronauts. You see too much of it, you need time away. A lot of time away. 

Pepper is giddy. She loved Carol, but Carol was happily married with a baby girl, and this one? This one wasn’t. 

Not that Pepper was looking for anyone. No, she and her partner Nat had standing date nights every Saturday evening, and she loved them too much to even think about anything else. 

But Tony? Tony needed someone. He never really dated anybody, at least not anybody that he genuinely liked. 

Stark was a powerful name, and it got tossed around a little bit, but Tony mostly kept to himself and only responded to it when he was at a party or Happy was mad at him for forgetting his ID badge yet again. 

James Rhodes was a nicely built man with a strong, confident aura, and single. 

(Pepper had checked.) 

She thought that he and Tony would get along quite well, if anything. 

James is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He’d rather just get to work on what he needs to do. Getting into the air is one of the best feelings, and the sooner he can experience it, the sooner he’ll be fine. 

He always pushed the limits, and space is just the last limit he gets to push. He’s excited. He’s always wanted to work for NASA, be on their roster of astronauts. He wants little kids who identify with him to know that they can do it too. 

So he’s ready to work with the best and brightest of their era. 

“Where the fuck are my nachos?!” 

His head whips around to a man who is wearing an ill-fitting cardigan (that is most likely not his), old jeans that have what look to be equations written on one thigh, and glasses that are most definitely broken sitting at an angle. 

“Your nachos were too close to the computers,” one woman says without looking up. “Stop bringing nachos here or I’m going to fucking kill you.” 

“You can’t kill me,” the man retorts. 

“Tony,” comes another voice. James turns and sees who must be Pepper Potts. “Go to your office. Now. Change your pants, you wrote on them again.” 

“I did?” 

He looks down and swears. 

“Son of a bitch!” He then looks at Jim. “Wait, who are you? Are you the new astronaut?” 

“Uh, yes? I’m James.” 

He sticks out his hand. 

Who seems to be Tony stares at his hand. 

“Your name is seriously James?” 

“Do you think I’m bad at jokes?” he asks, eyebrows raised. 

Tony grins. 

“No, I think you’re gonna be a riot. But I’m not calling you James.” 

“Jim, then.” 

“No,” Tony says. “You’re not an old man, you’re still attractive.” 

His eyebrows raise. 

Tony’s face pales. 

“I’m going to. Go. I have math on my pants.” 

Pepper snorts, readjusting her grip on her clipboard. 

“Welcome to NASA, Colonel Rhodes. I can promise you that we don’t usually yell about our lunch location or write on articles of clothing.” 

- 

Surprisingly, James doesn’t see Tony for two weeks. Apparently, he’s been working outside with a couple of the interns to calculate some stuff, rework some of the older ships for experience, and stay out of the way of Pepper, who says that he’s attempting to murder her via headaches to deal with. 

He seems interesting, however. There are sticky notes and papers all over the offices and breakrooms reminding people of what Tony had for breakfast/lunch/dinner, or where the extra coffee supplies are. 

“You provide for him?” he asks Pepper one time. 

“He gets too much into his own head sometimes,” Pepper says. “He focuses too much on a program or an improvement and forgets that he works around other people. You wouldn’t believe how many times we had miniature science experiments based off of lunches that he would leave in the fridge.” 

Rhodes nods. “Well. I’ll look forward to working with him.” 

- 

Tony has been working outside of the office for two reasons: 

1.) To legitimately help the interns. (Ned and Peter are making improvements!) 

2.) James Rhodes is the hottest guy on earth. Maybe in the universe. For real. Seriously. 

He hates Pepper for this. Didn’t even tell Tony what the new astronaut looked like, and then shows up with a god of a man. Rude and unfair. 

And he had to be the dumbass with the equation on his pants. 

He didn’t even have spare pants! He had to stay in his office for the whole day because the equation was actually really important and he needed it. 

“Why didn’t you just transfer it over on paper?” Bruce asks over the phone. Bruce is his friend who works in a technically classified, off-the-books, not-exactly-government-issued building. He’s cool. He also points out the obvious. 

“I’m the biggest idiot on the planet,” Tony groans. “There was just a new guy at work, and he threw me off balance, so-” 

“What’s he look like?” 

“Why, you not crushing on that hot Nordic space dude?” 

“No, still am. But I still remember when Barton came to work for you guys and you didn’t know that his name wasn’t George until about six months into him working there.” 

“In my defense, he works mostly with physical therapy and prep for no gravity,” Tony says. “I work with math and shit.” 

“Still,” Bruce says. “You wouldn’t have pointed him out if you didn’t think he was cute. What’s he like?” 

“I...don’t exactly know.” 

“Oh my god, you’ve been avoiding him?” 

“Oh what, like you didn’t jump out of a window when Thor almost saw you in a tank top?” 

“I have a farmer’s tan! Totally different circumstance!” 

“Is it?” 

“I hate you.” 

“Get to dating Thor and then we’ll talk again. Have fun re-revolutionizing green energy, Dr. Banner.” 

“Look to the stars, Tony.” 

- 

James has to get fitted for his suit. 

He faces Tony, who looks quite different from when he first saw him. His hair is somewhat less messy, he has one of those geeky NASA-logo shirts that they sell at Target, and is wearing khaki pants with about a million different pockets. 

(Something in his mind is whispering that he definitely shouldn’t find him attractive. But he will anyways.) 

“Alright space-cowboy, let’s get your measurements,” Tony says. “You feeling okay today?” 

“Right as rain.” 

“Rain is never good, sunshine,” Tony quips. “Now, about your nickname from me...hm. Rhodey.” 

“How’d you figure that out?” 

“Substituted the ‘s’ for a ‘y’, just simple stuff,” he says with a shrug. “You approve?” 

“I...guess.” 

“Good. Now Rhodey, how are you feeling?” 

“Like sunshine and gumdrops,” he responds sarcastically. 

Tony smiles, and damn if it makes his heart thump a bit. 

“Better answer, soldier. Extend those arms, please.” 

Tony smells really nice. Subtle cologne and clean laundry. Rhodey finds that he likes it. 

“How’ve you been doing, Tony?” 

“Like a gentle breeze on a day that’s seventy-two degrees,” Tony answers. “Work’s been good today. Helen made tacos.” 

“I had some of those, they were pretty good.” 

“Mm,” Tony answers. “Legs a bit more apart, thank you.” 

Rhodey shifts his stance a little bit, carefully not watching Tony bend down just a tad to get the bottom of his foot. 

(But oof, that was hard.) 

Tony comes back up again, looking into Rhodey’s eyes. For a moment, for a brief moment, his breath is taken away. 

“I need to wrap my measuring tape around your waist. You okay with that?” 

“More than.” 

“Don’t get saucy,” Tony winks. “No one likes more than one floozy at the office, and that’s what got me this job anyways.” 

Rhodey lets out a laugh, and Tony grins. 

He likes making him laugh. Likes it more than he should. 

- 

They spend more and more time together. Tony always makes adjustments, Rhodey realizes that Tony doesn’t exactly keep track of when he eats, so they have lunch together. 

They like it a lot. 

On good-weather days, they eat outside on a bench. Tony leans against one said, foot brushing Rhodey’s calf, and Rhodey doesn’t really mind because he’ll lean over occasionally and steal whatever Tony’s eating. 

“This is theft, you know.” 

“You eat like a bird, what do you know about food theft?” 

Tony almost always stays later than anyone else except for nights with Rhodey. 

Once a month, they have dinner together. Rhodey’s new to the area and Tony’s almost never social with anyone, so they’ve been working through a list of the three-star-rated restaurants and seeing which ones they like. 

“It’s kind of like a date,” Pepper says, on her monthly hangout with Tony (and also kind of a clean-up party for his house). 

“Not dates,” Tony says. “Just friends. I’m sure he has his eye on someone in or out of the office.” 

“Like you?” 

“His first impression of me was me writing an equation on my pair of jeans, and then I haven’t exactly upgraded my style since,” Tony deadpans. “He’s seen me in neon orange sweatpants, Pep. You don’t exactly come back from that.” 

“Maybe he likes you for who you are!” 

“God that’s such a bullshit answer,” Tony whines. “You sound like a straight-to-video movie that came out in 1997!” 

“That’s too specific.” 

“And? You still get the point!” 

Pepper flings a pillow his way. 

“Where is your wine?” 

“In the same cabinet you always leave it.” 

“Goody.” 

While Pepper sways to bed, Tony thinks about what she said. 

It could be possible. Tony had never exactly asked him about himself in that capacity, but Rhodey never had an odd reaction to a statement that involved talking about a partner of the same-sex or a one-liner about it. 

Maybe? 

...no. 

Guys like Rhodey deserved someone better than someone who forgot to eat lunch four out of the seven days of the week. (And maybe four was being generous.) 

- 

On the flipside, Rhodey was currently telling his woes to Carol, who was laughing at him. 

“You nerd!” she says. “You like Tony, and you’ve done nothing about it? Have you even told him that you also like guys? Cuffed your pants?” 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I just...why would he like someone like me? I’m...boring.” 

“You’re not boring,” Carol says. 

“Yeah you are!” Maria calls from the kitchen. “You’re very boring, Mr. ‘Only-Drinks-Black-Coffee’!” 

Carol giggles. 

“Maybe Maria has a point. Maybe.” 

Rhodey groans, leaning against the couch. 

“I’m so fucked.” 

“On the contrary-” 

“Oh shut up.” 

- 

Pepper is tired of people’s problems. They’re getting closer and closer to launch, and Clint’s out sick and Helen is being weird again, and Jane is off somewhere to a secret government-but-not-government launch to discuss things with two potential boyfriends. (Maybe boyfriends. Maybe.) 

Tony is getting stressed. 

Usually, he’s the only one who’s fine during a launch. He’s still cracking jokes, making fun events, and calming down people who are a bit too nervous. 

But usually, he’s not as close to the astronaut as this. 

He’s been thinking about the accidents they’ve had over the years. He doesn’t want a repeat. He’s been pulling all-nighters, avoiding sleep, and checking in on Rhodey consistently, to the point where Rhodey has to drag him outside and tell him that things will be fine. 

(In Pepper’s professional opinion, they’d be fine if they just did a goodbye kiss or whatever, but okay.) 

Tony’s getting into his own head. 

So is Rhodey. 

He’s going to be gone for a long time. He’s going to miss the holidays. And Tony won’t be able to talk to him everyday. 

“You should tell him,” Pepper murmurs. “I think you both would benefit from it.” 

“I’m not going to play that unfair card,” Rhodey murmurs back. “I either confess my love and go to a dangerous mission knowing that he loves me back and I said it when I can’t return, or he doesn’t and I just played a guilt-trip card.” 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Rhodey shakes his head. 

“I...I can’t do that to him. Wouldn’t be right. After the mission.” 

“After, then,” Pepper says. “When you come home.” 

Rhodey grins. 

- 

The day of launch happens far quicker than anyone wants it to, most of all Tony. 

Pepper actually kicked him out of his office, told him to shower, and wear something nice for once. 

“Make sure he knows he has someone to come home to,” Pepper says. “Wear your turtleneck!” 

“It’s only September,” Tony scowls. “And he’s his own person who’s about to launch himself into space.” 

“He will be fine,” Pepper says. “With your research and work, we’ve cut down overlooked mistakes by about forty percent.” 

“Still not half.” 

“Because we’re NASA,” Pepper sniffs. “Our mistakes matter more, so we make less of them.” 

Tony nods. 

-

He ends up almost being late to the launch because of Pepper’s stupid wardrobe advice. 

He’s wearing his nicest pair of pants, a button-up that’s been at the back of his closet for quite some time, and he’s feeling stupid because he had to play AC/DC in the car so he would actually focus on what was going on. 

Now he’s waiting for Rhodey to exit wearing the space suit that he made and to tell everyone that it was an honor and a privilege to be going to space where things happen and Tony can’t be there to help. 

Life sucks. 

But it goes on, and there’s Rhodey in the brilliantly-designed suit, and Tony’s never been more proud and more sad, but he sucks up his tears and walks up anyways. 

“Hey space-cowboy. Ready to explore the frontier?” 

“As ever,” Rhodey says. “You ready to forget to eat your lunch all over again?” 

Tony smiles. 

“You’ll have to check in with me soon, then,” Tony says. “Cut the mission short?” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Wish I could. But I’ll send you pictures,” he says. “I promise.” 

Tony stops for a moment, smile dropping from his face. 

“Promise me one more thing.” 

“Anything,” Rhodey says. “Anything you want.”  

“Come back safe. Swear to me that you will.” 

Rhodey grins. 

“Safe and sound, honey. Safe and sound.” 

Tony watches him board the ship, wave to the cameras, and wink at him. 

He rolls his eyes, but blows a kiss anyways. 

-

Tony’s a nervous wreck. 

Pepper has decided that Rhodey needs to not go on missions anymore, or at least take Tony with him because he’s annoying. 

“Can you stop crying on the second floor bathroom? It’s getting annoying,” Pepper says. “Clint says he can hear you and feels bad.” 

“Well how are we supposed to know that Rhodey’s okay?!” Tony says. “For all I know, he could be dead!” 

“I really hope you don’t mean that,” comes a voice from behind. 

Tony whips around, seeing Rhodey’s grainy face from the big screen. 

“You bitch!” 

He laughs, and it doesn’t sound real, but he can see him. 

“Hey Tony. You been making sure no one is pissed at you for forgetting your dinner in the fridge?” 

“Well, now I will,” he admits. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” Rhodey smiles. “How’s everything been down there?” 

“Boring,” Tony says. “When are you coming back?” 

“I got about two more months,” Rhodey says. “And then I’ll be back.” 

“Quit hogging all the screen time,” Natasha teases. “You lovebirds can have your moment on earth.” 

Tony blinks. 

“What.” 

But by that time, Natasha and Sam have already been asking a million questions, and Pepper is filling Rhodey in on what he’s missed. 

Tony is still stuck on the whole ‘lovebirds’ thing that Natasha suggested. 

...that couldn’t be possible. And yet if other people saw it that way...

“Tony? Tony?” 

He blinks again, looking back up at the screen. 

Rhodey is smiling at him, that smile that means that he’s happy to see someone. 

“I’ll see you soon, honey.” 

“Right back at you, space-cowboy.” 

The screen goes to black, and Tony smiles a bit. 

“Aw, you nerd,” Clint teases. “So, you gonna ask him out on a date?” 

“Clint, I will cut off your leg,” Tony says cheerily. “I have to go finish some paperwork!” 

Tony’s done all of his paperwork, it’s one of the few times that Pepper’s had it done on time. 

He has to keep doing things to stop thinking about Rhodey. 

-

He writes him letters. He knows that he won’t ever read them, but writing letters helps and sometimes it makes his hands less jittery. 

He’s not ever going to send them. Ever. Letters are cheesy and they feel...personal. 

Pepper tells him that he’s being lame. 

“I’m not being lame!” Tony cries. “I am just. Protecting myself!” 

“You have the reasoning of a Jane Austen love interest,” she says flatly. “I swear if you don’t tell him, then I’ll meddle. And you know how bad I am when I meddle.” 

“You literally have made things so much worse for so many people,” Tony responds. 

“Not worse, per se.” 

“Oh right, how could I forget?” Tony exclaims sarcastically. “You made things the worst.” 

“If we weren’t such good friends, you’d be dead,” Pepper says. 

“Then let’s be worst enemies,” Tony mutters. “You still ready for pizza night?” 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Pepper says. “Meet at your place at seven, right?” 

“Right.” 

-

Here is what Tony does not know: Rhodey’s coming back down earlier than expected, and Pepper knows this. 

So she’s been busying Tony with work while she’s acclimating Rhodey to life on earth again. 

“Has he really missed me?” Rhodey asks for about the twentieth time in about two hours. 

“Yes,” Pepper says. “I hope these aren’t your talking points for your interviews. If people know you’re this much of a love-struck idiot in real life, they won’t take you seriously.” 

“I just missed him!” 

“Oh sure,” she responds, rolling her eyes. “And I’m sure you’ll tell the news reporters that you missed me with as many stars in your eyes as now. You like him, you absolute geek.” 

“Well, maybe a little,” Rhodey mutters. “But you’re sure he’ll like the surprise?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

-

Tony is having, perhaps, the worst day in his life. Maybe in history, if he’s being quite honest. 

His car, for one thing, won’t start for more than is done-away-with concern, so he has to call Pepper and say that he’s going to be late since he has to fix his own car. 

“Will you get coffee on the way here?” Pepper asks. 

“Your usual order?” 

“Yeah, you know the drill.” 

Then the line is long because some stupid person wanted to complain, and Tony was this close to just threatening to buy the entire store to make it stop, and he cried on his way to work because he saw a duck cross the road and it reminded him of how Rhodey crashed his first car avoiding a duck that was crossing the road. 

Yeah. It’s rough. 

Then he parks in the wrong parking spot because some asshole with a stupid rental car took his usual spot, and then he stepped in a puddle. 

He hates today. 

“Pepper!” he declares as he enters the building. “I wore jeans today, I got your coffee, and I’m already done with the day. I swear to god if one more unexpected thing happens, I’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and go work for the Soviets!” 

“The Soviets aren’t a thing, Tones.” 

He knows that voice. 

He fucking knows that voice. He isn’t supposed to be back from that mission for another month. 

Tony doesn’t turn around. 

“I’m hallucinating. Oh my god, I’m hallucinating.” 

Hands wrap around his neck, hugging him. 

“This feel like a hallucination?” 

(Okay so Tony drops the coffee.) 

Rhodey’s smile is blinding, and he’s...he’s here. Right in front of him with those not-supposed-to-be-that-hot polo shirts, those eyes that he could get lost in, and just...

Well. 

He hugs him and he hugs him tightly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back so soon?!” 

“Pepper organized it,” Rhodey says, giddy. “Decided it would be a nice surprise for you.” 

Tony looks over at Pepper, who’s trying to hide a grin behind her hands. 

“Pepper if I wasn’t so over-the-moon right now, your heels would be snapped.” 

She shrugs. 

“Worth it. You requested today off, by the way.” She winks as she turns back to her office. 

“Well, what do you say?” Rhodey asked. “Help me get used to having my feet back on the ground?” 

Tony grins. 

“Dinner sounds like a good start. Gotta get you some good earth food, none of that dehydrated crap.” 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had a decent slice of pizza?” 

Tony grins. 

“I can fix that.” 

[yungidreamer]

Generosity

Summary:  The Christmas holidays come and San joins her and her family for the holiday celebrations. He is made to feel like one of the family while Yunho and Mingi have their own celebrations at home. After the big day, Mingi is invited over to Yunho's so he can get away from his family and the boys plan a naughty show for their girl.

word count: 9.5k

Content warnings: Warm family stuff, mourning the things you wish you had, car sex, anal sex, a little bit of consensual exhibitionism and voyeurism, and a little bit of angst about not always having the love and the family that everyone deserves to have.

“Honey, it’s time to get up!” Her mother’s voice drifted through the door to her sleepy ears. It had taken her so long to fall asleep last night. Really, there wasn’t a good reason for it. She had even gone to bed early. It was Christmas Eve and she was actually looking forward to Christmas. San was staying over, finally agreeing when her father insisted that he come when his dad, again, went out of town over the holiday period.

It had been fun to have him around, not only because he was fun to hang around with in general, but because he was actually really good with her brother. Jacob was in that weird teenage period of his life where everyone in the family was just too uncool and none of them could possibly understand the things he liked and the things they liked, well, he would never give them a chance. But somehow, San could be cool. Jacob liked San. He liked having him there and seemed to think that they were on the same team. Really, it was fucking adorable.

In the couple of days before he came over she and her mother had gone shopping for a few things to put under the tree for him. Her mother had picked out a few items of clothing of the same sort that she had gotten for her own kids, as well as some things for school like a nice pen and a day planner. She had gotten him a tub of that bubbly face mask and a couple of sheet masks for him to use when he was back at school by himself. She also bought him a gift card for a music service and an IOU for a bus ticket to visit them sometime next semester. Her father had gotten him a new leather wallet, saying it was the sort of thing all adult men should really have.

She spent the evening before he arrived making sure that it was all wrapped and properly tagged. The thing from her father she put his name on, the clothes came from Santa as they always did, school supplies from mom, and the facemask, IOU, and gift card were from her. The presents were tucked in alongside all the others to be put out under the tree after everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve.

San arrived on the day before Christmas Eve and was immediately understood where she had gotten her instinct for cozy places. It was very apparent they were a Christmas sort of people. Their house had been warm and welcoming over Thanksgiving, with a nice atmosphere and plenty of food to be had, but the house itself had just looked like, well, a nice house. Between now and then it felt a little like elves had stopped by to make every corner just a little more festive. Christmas knick knacks were put on every shelf and sill and a massive Christmas tree had been put in front of the big picture window at the front of the house, making it visible to anyone who passed by.

It was really the small details that hit him though. If you didn’t look too closely, it looked like one of those pleasant cottagey sorts of homes that were picture perfect in their homey mismatched decor, but when he looked a little closer, it was far more authentic than that description would credit. On the hearth were an assortment of figures, small and made from porcelain, each different from each other. One was a little bassinet on a sled with the words Baby’s First Christmas. When he picked it up he could see her birth year on the back and a small chip on the base on one side. There was another Baby’s First Christmas from a few years later, obviously for Jacob’s first Christmas. A third was Our First Christmas. They were all mementos of important years, important moments in their lives.

The large fake tree they had was covered with a hodgepodge of ornaments that were everything from enamel baubles, to stained glass pieces, to popular characters, to animated scenes that encapsulated holiday moments or stories. As he looked through them he could see that they were all dated and named and had been collected over the course of the last couple of decades. 

It was interesting, he could see the personalities of each of the members come out in their choices. Her mother liked things that were beautiful and artistic. Her ornaments included a sparkling star of stained glass, a large three dimensional heart made of enamel which was decorated with a wreath of holly around its middle, and something that looked like a hollow sugar egg filled with a sparkling winter scene.

Her father seemed to like somewhat simple and straightforward ornaments. His included a globe shaped ball of wood, covered with an inlaid design of the star and the three wise men. Another was a small wreath decorated with small balls of various colors that reflected the lights of the tree when it was set in its branches. Perhaps San’s favorite  of his was the bubble-like iridescent glass ball that had three smaller glass balls set inside of it. It was just eye catching, how it caught the light, when you finally noticed it.

Jacob’s ornaments were mostly reflective of his likes, full of super heroes, book characters, and animals. They were expressive and lively, much like the kid himself. Really, his were probably the easiest to pick out as almost all of them were only incidentally Christmasy: Superman carrying a wreath, a puppy ripping open some presents, Harry Potter on a broom with his wand out. He was clearly following the family tradition, but not because of a special like of the holiday which seemed apparent in the choices made by everyone else.

She seemed to love things that were animated, seasonal, and nostalgically captured moments. There were a number of ornaments with little moving parts like a mouse on the pendulum inside of a little clock or a kitten that rocked as it played with an ornament near a hearth. She also loved little lit scenes like a gingerbread like house that had windows that lit up with bright orangey light from the inside. So many of them were little places and little moments you wanted to step inside and live in their coziness.

He loved it and it was all just so...them. Christmas had always been fun and warm at home but a little more formal, planned, and stilted. They had their traditions and way of doing things, but, he supposed, thinking back at it now, his parents had been in a world of their own and he had happily been along for the ride. It was probably what had made the loss of his mother so hard for his father. They had their world, their way of doing things, their household. It hurt a little to confront but he couldn’t change it. He could, however, do better himself when he found someone and had kids of his own. He wanted to make a place where everyone felt loved and welcome, like her family had done for him.

On Christmas Eve, the whole family, San included, had gathered in the living room to watch their favorite Christmas movie. Their dad put in the DVD of A Muppet Christmas Carol, while her mom got out the large tub of flavored popcorns they always got from the school fundraiser. She recommended the caramel kettle corn to San and he had been right, it was pretty good, as was the cheesy version which her brother was very fond of. They watched the movie, singing along with the songs, and it was apparent that all of them had watched it many, many times and would happily do so in years to come. When the movie was over, they had all gone to bed to let Santa come and so that everyone could get up bright and early to start Christmas.

San had curled up in his bed in the study and fallen asleep quickly in the warm comfort of the house. Jacob was happy to go to his room, but spent a few hours reading before he actually went to sleep. Her parents were quick and efficient in their preparations, laying out all the presents and setting out the stuff that would just make the morning go faster when it came. She, on the other hand, tried to go to sleep, but instead tossed and turned, feeling lonely without the arms of the boys there to hold her as she was going to sleep. She did finally fall asleep after a few hours, but still slept fitfully as she still reached for them even in her sleep.

When morning came and her mother roused her from her bed, she climbed out and headed to the living room to join the rest of her family. She ran into San in the hallway along the way and they walked down the hallway arm in arm to the dining room table. Everyone picked up their portion of sticky buns and a cup of cider or coffee and headed into the living room to eat around the tree. While her mom had warmed up the baked goods in the oven, her father had laid a fire in the fireplace, turned on the tree, and put on some quiet Christmas music to make the mood.

It was the best Christmas morning San could have hoped for. He sat himself beside her, laughing and chatting with her as they ate the little morning snack for breakfast. She looked tired and her hair was still a little bit of a mess, having come out without having done her hair to join the family for the homey holiday morning. He gave her a hug with one arm around her shoulders and mussed her hair affectionately.

“Hey, I’m already looking messed up enough, I don’t need any help with it,” she joked, lightly smacking his hands away.

“You look cute,” San assured her. “I should take a picture for the boys. I bet they would love it.”

“No need,” she laughed. “They get to see this all the time. Tired me, looking like a mess.”

“I doubt they have gotten tired of it or something,” San assured her. “One sec, I’ll be right back.” San got up and made his way back to his room, getting his phone before coming back out. He wanted to get pictures and he wanted to share this Christmas experience with his friends and her lovers. He took a couple of photos of the breakfast buns that were left in the pan in case anyone wanted another before he headed into the living room again. Before she noticed, San snapped a couple of pictures of her on the floor near the tree as she ate and sipped her coffee. She looked cute and small, sitting cross legged on the floor near the tree not far from her parents. Her brother was stretched out on the couch behind their parents.

“Okay everyone,” Her mom sat forward, setting aside her cup of coffee. “Let’s open presents.” She reached under the tree and started sifting through the packages there and pulling something out for everyone, San included, much to his surprise.

“You didn’t think we’d forget about you, did you?” She said, elbowing him playfully as he drew up beside her.

“You didn’t have to, you know,” He said softly, bumping his head into hers gently.

“Merry Christmas, bub,” she told him, pulling him into a real hug. “Just remember, you’re the oldest kid here now.”

“Of course,” San gave a sudden and heartfelt laugh. “I hope you’re ready to have an overprotective brother.”

“Uh-oh, I take it back,” she chuckled as she pulled back.

“Nope, too late,” San shook his head as mischief sparkled in his eyes, that’s what it was, definitely not tears, that was for sure.

“Okay Jacob, you can open first,” her mother said, starting the process that allowed everyone to take turns as they opened presents and thanked the giver for what they had received. The turns went for as many rounds as there were presents left for people to open. The numbers of presents were pretty even all around, with her and Jacob being the last two who had a couple of extra things they went through quickly.

San looked at the little pile of presents in front of him and felt a rush of gratitude and a poignant spike of admiration for the people who had invited him into their closest moments. Nothing there was particularly expensive, except maybe the wallet, but he really couldn’t tell, however, it was the sort of basic necessities or fun things family got for each other to make sure you had what you needed and could have fun now and again too. He hadn’t really had time to get them anything before he came over and it also hadn’t crossed his mind. It probably should have, he told himself with an internal sigh. If he comes again another year, he promised himself, he will definitely get some next time.

With presents opened, it was time for everyone to throw themselves into the project of Christmas dinner. There was a lot to be done, but between mom and dad’s co-delegation of the work to everyone, all the jobs were started that would get dinner on the table by around three in the afternoon. Everyone had a job or two they needed to do and had a place to start. Not everything needed to be done at the same time, but most things could be done ahead, even if they couldn’t be cooked until later.

With everyone working and cheery holiday instrumentals playing on speakers through the house, it was actually fun to take part in and San felt like he could at least be useful. He stood with her at the counter, peeling potatoes then chopping them up to be boiled in a couple of hours.

“How did your mom know what size I wear,” San poked at her as they worked.

“I did your laundry, remember,” she teased. “I know all of your sizes now.”

“Sneaky,” he admitted. “I’ll remember this and treat any interest you have in me and my stuff with the deepest suspicion.” He gave her an over dramatic suspicious look that sent her into a fit of snickers that drew looks from everyone else in the kitchen.

“What’s so funny,” her father asked, coming up behind them and checking on their progress.

“He’s going to be suspicious of me and my detective skills from now on since I remembered his clothing sizes from doing his laundry,” she told him with a note of pride.

“That’s my girl,” he said kissing the top of his daughter’s head. “Too smart of all of our good.”

“I’m guessing she got that from somewhere,” San gave him a suspicious look as her father took the large pot of potatoes.

“Don’t look at me for that,” her father advised. “Her mother is terrifying in how she remembers the strangest things.”

“Only because no one else in this house remembers where they leave anything,” her mother joined the conversation and gave all the other members of her family an expressive glare.

“Hey, I’ve gotten way better at all of that stuff,” she protested her mother’s characterization.

“I’m sure looking after those two boys has contributed to that,” her mother put a hand on her hip.

“I...say nothing,” she settled on as an answer, not  wanting to give her the satisfaction of admitting she might be right. San bit his lip at the scene and wondered if Yunho and Mingi might have objected to the characterization.

“Can I come over tomorrow?” Mingi asked Yunho when he called him late on Christmas night, after everyone in his house had gone to bed.

“I...I think so,” Yunho sat up a little straighter in bed at Mingi’s tight voice. “Is everything okay?”

“I just hate everything here,” he stood near the window in his room wishing that he was back at their home, even if he had to be there alone. “My dad can’t not pick at things and he keeps asking me why I only got B’s in two classes on my midterms. Never mind the three A’s I got.”

“Don’t let it get to you,” Yunho told him, knowing that it was easier said than done. “I’m proud of you, love. You’re so smart and you work hard. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“I love you, too,” Mingi said in a small voice. “I miss you. And I miss her. I miss home.”

“I wish you could just have spent Christmas here with me,” Yunho sighed. “Mom asked about you. She was wondering how both of you are doing. I told her you did so well and that you studied so hard. She was proud of you.”

“I’ll remember to thank her when I see her,” Mingi gave a half laugh. “You’re so lucky to have your mom.”

“I know,” Yunho admitted, casting a glance in the direction of her room where he knew she was sleeping. “My mom has always been good at making sure I knew she loved me even if she isn’t always good at loving herself enough.”

“What did you get for Christmas, anyway?” Mingi asked him, thinking of a happier direction for their conversation.

“Mostly clothes,” Yunho shrugged. “But I also got a new laptop for classes. She was worried that the old one wasn’t working so well and had gotten too slow.”

“Oh I got a new laptop, too,” Mingi responded. “But they also got me a new console, a new phone, and some gift cards for games as well as all the clothes and stuff.”

“Wow, you made bank,” Yunho gave a low whistle.

“Yeah,” Mingi admitted. “I usually get a lot of stuff, but I don’t know… it’s never anything that I really ask for.”

“I wanted to thank you again for the suit,” Yunho told him warmly. “Mom really loves it. I wore it for Christmas dinner even though it was just me and Mom. You would have loved to see her face. I can’t wait to give you what I got you for Christmas.”

“I wish we had had more time with just us,” Mingi admitted. “I wish we had gotten to do our own Christmas before we headed home.”

“Yeah, but it was also really nice having our friends around, even if the reason they ended up over was kind of weird,” Yunho pointed out.

“Yeah,” Ming agreed with a smile. “It was really fun to have all of them over. Did San send you all the pictures he took of their Christmas, too?”

“He did and it looks like he had so much fun,” Yunho giggled. “I’m honestly a little jealous. He got to have so much fun with our girl. I wish it could have been us. At least San shared it with us.”

“Yeah and I am glad he isn’t alone,” Mingi shrugged, having felt closer to being alone than he really wanted to admit.

“I’ll tell mom you are coming over in the morning when I get up,” Yunho told him. “Come by in the afternoon when you can.”

“Okay,” Mingi sighed. “Just call me if she isn’t okay with me coming over or something.”

“She’ll be so glad to see you,” Yunho assured him. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I...I love you,” Mingi cast an eye to his bedroom door, suddenly self conscious. “See you tomorrow.”

“Love you and sleep well,” Yunho told him gently.

“Night.”

“Night.”

The day after Christmas Mingi found himself on Yunho’s doorstep, standing nervously holding the little gift he had gotten for Yunho’s mom. He had actually gotten it when he bought Yunho’s gift himself, running across a holiday kiosk shop with all sorts of little things. He had spotted the small snow globe with the polar bear chorus inside and somehow he had thought of her. Inside was a trio of them, holding sheet music in books, with little red and white scarves wrapped around their necks. It had made him smile and seemed sweet like the little woman who had somehow given birth to the giant that Yunho had grown into.

She answered the door, pulling Mingi inside with a warm hug and happy greetings. Her home was small and a little worn but always warm. She helped him hang up his coat and stow his boots on the mat near the door.

“Oh you look so handsome,” she cooed, keeping him slightly hunched from his hug so she could get a good look at his face.

“Thank you, Ms. Jeong,” Mingi beamed at her.

“Oh honey, you can just call me mom,” she corrected. “I’m so happy to see you. Come and tell me about how you have been doing. How was school? Are you seeing anyone?”

“Mom, I already told you all of that,” Yunho sighed and shook his head at his mother.

“Well maybe you don’t know everything,” she waved her finger at her son. “Maybe I also just want to hear it from him, too.” Mingi happily took a seat with her on the old, worn corduroy couch and answered her questions about how he was and what it was that he had been doing since she had seen him last. She was happy to see him looking healthy, though she wasn’t sure he was eating enough.

“I’m sure that both of you have gotten at least an inch taller and two inches skinner since Thanksgiving,” she shook her head as she looked Mingi up and down. 

“I actually think I’m gaining weight,” Mingi said, his hands going to his stomach he was sure was getting a little pooch to it.

“No,” she dismissed. “You are still such an adorable skinny boy like my Yunho.”

“Mom, we are fine and we are eating plenty,” Yunho hugged her from behind. “In fact, you can see us eat plenty now if we pull out some leftovers.”

“Oh yes,” she nodded, getting up and heading to the kitchen. Christmas in the Jeong household was less extravagant than at the Song household, but the heart and soul that went into her food always was apparent. She took the time to score and baste the ham and always made a gravy with the drippings that came off. Her yams were always sweet and the marshmallows on top were always perfectly toasted. Mingi was pretty sure that her stuffing was his favorite dish. It was always perfectly spiced and fluffy with just the right amount of walnut crunch mixed in.

They piled leftovers on their plates and stuck them in the microwave to reheat everything before they sat around the small round table in the dining room. She kept the warm conversation going as they ate, listening to the boys talk about school, their interests, the food, and anything else. She loved the smile that her son always got when he joked with Mingi. It was when he seemed happiest. Well with him or her or, better yet, the both of them. Her son had always been a little quiet, a little shy and that had made it a little hard for him to make friends over the years. He had found some and lost some and had never been alone, but the way she had seen him flourish with their friendship had made her so happy and proud. He had gotten so confident and so comfortable in his own skin in a way she had only hoped he would be someday. She hoped that it would just last, even if they all went different ways. After all, it was so easy to think that life as it was now, at their age, would always stay the same.

When they were done, the boys volunteered to wash the dishes and let her relax a little, but she took the chance to pull out the little present she had been saving for Mingi. He usually came by over the breaks and, even if he hadn’t, she could have always sent Yunho back with the little thing. That was probably what she would have to do with her gift for her. She didn’t take it personally that their girl didn’t make it every holiday. Her family was much more serious about spending the time together and her family was also much more...pleasant (she said diplomatically even in her head) to be around. She knew what the two boys meant to her and she was always lovely when she did find the time to come by.

When she came back out, the boys were just finishing with the dishes, drying the last two plates before putting them back in the cabinets. She waited for them to be done before she beckoned them both back into the living room. Sitting down in the seat nearest the glow of the lights on the tree, she patted the seat next to her, inviting the boy to sit beside her.

“Oh, one second,” he said when he saw the little gift in her lap. He took big loping steps back to where his coat hung and fished into one of the pockets to pull out his small gift for her. The proud and happy smile on his face as he came back carrying that little package meant more than anything that could be inside it. She loved to see Mingi when he was filled with joy and confidence, especially when she thought of the awkward anxious boy she had first met. He thought he had hid it so well with the way he squared his shoulders, jutted out his chin, and would make boasts. But the boy here, on her couch was brimming with confidence by comparison and she couldn’t have been more proud.

“Here, I got this for you, too,” he handed her the box before accepting her gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she scolded, patting his knee with affection.

“I know, but I thought of you when I saw it,” he shrugged, giving her a shy look as his eyes traveled down to the gift from her in his lap.

“Open it,” she encouraged. Mingi nodded and ripped into the paper eagerly. Inside was a little graphic novel he recognised as the latest volume of one of his favorite series. He hadn’t been keeping up with it since he had gone off to school with as much as he had been focusing on classes.

“I thought you might have gotten it for yourself so there is a gift receipt inside and you can get something else if you have it or if you are tired of this series,” she explained anxiously. “I just remember you used to read these and this one only came out a couple of months ago.”

“I don’t have it yet, and thank you,” he leaned over and pulled her into a hug. “I love it but I hadn’t even realized this was out yet.”

“I’m so glad you like it,” she glowed at him, patting the arms that embraced her. “Merry Christmas, my dear.”

“You should open yours,” Mingi said excitedly, pulling back again.

“Oh, of course,” she looked at the box in her lap. It was heavier than she would have guessed for the size and was actually curious what he had gotten her. She opened the paper carefully, picking at the tape so that she could save the pretty paper that he had put on her gift. Under the paper she found a plain cardboard box which she turned over until she found a side that looked like the top, thanks to the little divot on one side where the top tucked in. Finally she peered inside to find a fist sized glass globe. She slid it out of the box and smiled as she finally got a good look at it.

“Oh Mingi, I love it,” she said softly.

“Look, it also plays music,” Mingi took it from her hands and turned the little key set in the base. He wound it until it couldn’t any more and then turned it right before letting it go. Faint strains of I’ll Be Home for Christmas as little flecks of glitter swirled in the liquid around the little polar bears inside.

“A perfect song,” She grinned up at him. “And you thought of me when you saw it. I am so touched, sweetie.”

“You like it?” He asked, his whole face lighting up with his smile.

“It’s wonderful,” she assured him, giving the globe another swish to stir up the glitter again. “Thank you so much. I’ll treasure it.”

“I’m...I’m so happy you like it,” Mingi said as he watched her wind it one more time, before putting it in a safe place on the entertainment center.

“I’ll see it there,” she decided. “I’ll keep it safe with the other Christmas decorations when I put them away. But I already can’t wait to get it out again next year.”

Be in bed by 11, we have a surprise for you 💞

The message came through to her phone not long before dinner. A little piece of her hated them for sending the message then. Now she had to wait for hours to find out what they had planned for her. Curiosity niggled at her the whole evening, leaving her distracted over dinner and not following the conversation unless someone said her name.

“Everything okay?” San asked quietly, after having to nudge her to bring her attention back to the conversation happening around her.

“Yeah, just distracted,” she gave him an apologetic smile, making him laugh and shake his head. San could guess, especially by the way she kept checking her phone, just who was on her mind. He had sympathy for her but he still couldn’t help finding it funny. He honestly couldn’t help but wonder what her parents would think if they knew the arrangement. They’d probably get over eventually but it would be a battle. Their sense of how things ought to be would be a hurdle to their acceptance.

By 10:30 she was checking her watch and giving exaggerated yawns as she set the stage to go to bed more than an hour before she would have usually, given that it was very much still a holiday and she could still sleep late and while away the day doing whatever relaxing thing she wanted. So far she had read three books she had been meaning to read and watched half a drama with San, who was a master at snappy commentary about the story and characters. They would definitely be able to finish it before they went back and she was having lots of fun with it. San had actually made being at home without the boys way easier than it would have been otherwise.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” she stretched as she stood up and made her announcement to the room casually. “I’ll probably read a little before I actually sleep, but I’m going to go ahead and lie down.”

“Okay honey,” her mother said, looking up from her cross stitching she had in her hands. “See you in the morning.”

“Sleep well,” her father said lightly.

“I think I’ll head to bed, too,” San said, standing up from his seat near her.

“Have a good night,” her mother said to San. He nodded to both of them before following her back towards their rooms.

“Tell the boys I say hi,” San said playfully just before he ducked into the guest room. She flashed him a warning glare mixed with humor as she watched him before she slipped into her own room. Locking her door, just to be safe, she changed into her pajamas and got into bed with her phone and headphones.

I’m in bed, she messaged, biting her lip in anticipation as she sent it. Expecting to wait for a little while, she closed the app and turned on some music to listen to while she tried to stay busy. The video call that interrupted her after only about thirty seconds surprised her, though perhaps it shouldn’t have, after all, she wasn’t the only one who had been looking forward to this for hours.

“Hi babe,” Mingi said, his face taking up half the screen next to Yunho’s, both peering at her from a dark space she couldn’t place.

“Hey loves,” she said quietly, making sure her voice wouldn’t carry outside of her room. “What are you two doing together?”

“I visited Yunho today,” Mingi confessed, casting a grateful look to the other boy. “He invited me over so that I could get out of the house.”

“That was sweet,” She gave them both warm smiles. “But you aren’t still there. Where are you two?”

“In the car,” Yunho chuckled, turning the camera around so she could see they were parked somewhere secluded, surrounded mostly by snow.

“What are you doing out there?” She questioned with a giggle. “Why are you out there in the cold?”

“We wanted to do something...give you a little show,” Mingi replied mischievously, coming close to the camera as he spoke.

“A show?” She repeated, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks at the thought.

“Have you been missing us?” Yunho looked into the camera flirtatiously. 

“Of course,” she sighed, feeling a little tingle rising in her stomach.

“We’ve missed you,” Yunho continued, slipping an arm around Mingi’s shoulders. “Should we give her a little taste of the love we want to show her?”

“Yeah,” Mingi agreed, melting a little into Yunho’s embrace. “I want her to watch.”

“You want her to see me take you?” Yunho asked, changing position to move Mingi to sit between his legs, coaxing him to lean against his chest. Mingi nodded in response, making himself a little smaller as he leaned back.

“Give our lovely Mingi a kiss,” she prompted, her heart speeding up as she did.

Mingi turned his head and looked up to Yunho behind him. The two shared a look for a second before they came together, lips meeting in a soft brush of skin on skin. Yunho reached up a hand to caress Mingi’s cheek, helping him angle his face. Yunho controlled the speed of their kiss, keeping it agonizingly slow and light as their lips moved. His thumb brushed over the corner of Mingi’s mouth, coaxing him to open his mouth slightly. Mingi huffed slightly and opened to allow the kiss to deepen. 

As she watched the two of them she could feel a thrill of excitement move through her, tensing her stomach muscles and moisture starting to build between her legs. They looked so beautiful together. The sharp lines of their jaws and the way their fine features seemed to match and compliment each other. Her eyes focused on the perfect shape of Yunho’s Cupid’s bow lips as they moved in profile. They looked too perfect, too ideally shaped as they touched Mingi’s.

Mingi’s lips were largely hidden between Yunho’s lips and hand but her eyes moved along the line of his jaw and down the line of his long throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed with his nervous swallows as he kissed the boy behind him. There was a sort of softness that came over his angular features as they touched.

“Did you like that, too?” Yunho asked after he pulled back from the kiss, still continuing to hold Mingi against him.

“Yes,” she said softly, sinking further into the bed, eyes locked on the screen.

“What do you want to see?” Mingi asked, looking up at the camera through his lashes.

“Can you undress each other?” She decided after a brief pause. “I want to see you both.”

“Should I start with unwrapping our beautiful boy, here?” Yunho teased, running his fingers over Mingi’s still clothed chest.

“Yes please,” she agreed eagerly. “He’s so beautiful.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Yunho looked at the other boy, admiring the blush that spread over his cheeks and the tips of his ears at the compliments. Yunho’s hands reached around to the front of Mingi’s body. They found the fastenings on the front of his hoodie, working them open, making sure she could see his fingers as they did.

They watched her eyes glued to the screen of her phone. She was rapt in her attention. Yunho could feel the heat in her eyes as she watched them and he loved that feeling. He liked the control of focusing her attention with his movements. The expressions that flowed across her face as she followed his gestures gave him a burst of confidence.

Mingi could feel the touch of her gaze through the screen of the phone they had attached to the back of the front seat. When they had come up with the idea while they had a moment alone at Yunho’s place, Mingi had liked the idea of letting her see them, teasing her, while they did something since they hadn’t been able to invite her. Often he was on the other side. He so often got too impatient to tease either of them. It wasn’t really his fault, by the time he got them alone, he often felt like he had been waiting for them all day. By that point he just wanted them. He wanted to touch them, he wanted to taste them, to have them in his arms.

Yunho slipped the hoodie off Mingi’s shoulders taking his time and making a show of it. Underneath Mingi wore a black shirt with a wide neckline that showed off his collarbones and upper chest. After he threw the hoodie to the side, Yunho’s fingers went to the skin exposed there. His fingertips danced over the line of his collarbone and slid his shirt down off one shoulder. It was an irresistibly beautiful stretch of skin to them both. Yunho leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. He licked, kissed and nibbled a line from the tip of his shoulder and up his neck.

“Our Mingi is so handsome,” she sighed, looking at them through the screen as she turned onto her side.

“He’s beautiful,” Yunho observed. He nuzzled the skin below Mingi’s ear and left the ghost of a kiss.

“I want to see more of him,” she whispered to them. “Please.”

“Should I help him take off his shirt?” Yunho offered, his hands traveling down the front of Mingi’s chest and stomach.

“If it's not too cold,” she said after a moment’s thought.

“The car is nice and warm,” Yunho smiled. Of course she thought of that, of course that would cross her mind. His hands went to the hem of Mingi’s shirt and lifted it off over his head, baring the expanse of his white chest. Mingi shivered at the warmth in her gaze as her eyes took in the sight.

“You look so pretty, baby,” she cooed to him on the other side of the screen. “I wish I could show you how pretty you are to me.”

“Isn’t he so pretty to look at?” Yunho put his hands on Mingi’s ribs and let them trail down to his waist.

“What about you?” she pushed playfully, letting out a suppressed chuckle. “I want to see you, too.”

“You want to see me?” Yunho teased, ducking slightly further behind Mingi’s body. “Even when you have this to look at?” Yunho ran his hands down Mingi’s arms, making him shiver at the sensation.

“He’ll look even better in your arms,” she pointed out with a grin.

“Ahhh, I see,” Yunho nodded and pressed his lips together to try and stop the grin from spreading across his face. Mingi half turned in his seat to look back at the other boy. His eyes were bright and playful chocolate pools set in his glowing face. His blond hair had grown so that the fringe reached past his eyebrows now, allowing him to give them flirtatious glances through the curtain of his hair. Mingi brushed the hair out of his eyes and leaned over to kiss his temple on one side. He put one hand on Yunho’s shoulder, covered by the white knit cardigan he was wearing. His hand caressed down his arm as he moved his kisses down along his cheek until he was kissing the dip of the corner of his lips.

“Can I help you take it off?” Mingi offered, pressing his forehead against the side of his face. Yunho nodded. Mingi’s fingers went to the large wooden buttons and started to undo them. Yunho lifted his hands to hold Mingi’s as they slipped the buttons through the buttonholes. With all the buttons undone, Mingi parted the sides like he was drawing back curtains. Yunho shrugged off the cardigan and tossed it into the seat beside them. Mingi leaned down and licked one of Yunho’s exposed nipples, tasting it like it was a dollop of fallen dessert. Yunho sucked in a breath at the sensation.

“How does he taste, Mingi, my love?” She asked in a harsh whisper.

“As delicious as always,” Mingi gave her a wide grin. “Should...should I mark him so he remembers this?”

“Yes, over his heart,” she agreed, enjoying the idea. Mingi sunk down, finding a somewhat awkward position that brought his mouth more comfortably down to Yunho’s nipple level. He brushed his pillowy lips over the one nearest to him, giving it a soft suck and lick as it hardened under his touch. Moving closer to the center of his chest, just to the left, he pressed his lips against him, feeling the beat of his heart under them. Yunho brought his hand up to run his fingers through Mingi’s hair, caressing his scalp as he looked down at him.

Mingi closed his eyes and let his lips part, latching onto the skin under them. He breathed in the smell of Yunho’s skin, salty and musky. He sucked it enough to draw it into his mouth, allowing him nip lightly with his teeth. Yunho let out a light moan and his fingers tightened in Mingi’s hair, pulling it lightly.

She saw the look of pleasure bubble up on Yunho’s face, like a spring escaping through the fissure in a rock. It slipped out and spread across his body like a trickle. Mingi’s head moved as he sucked and worried Yunho’s skin until he was satisfied, letting it go with a pop and giving it a parting kiss.

“Let me see,” she asked, hiding the lower half of her face behind her hand. She could feel that a hot flush had developed on her face as she had watched them. Mingi sat up and leaned out of the way to let her see what he had done. He ran his fingers over it lightly, admiring the reddish mark he knew would mellow into purple soon enough.

“Now you’ll remember this,” Mingi said with satisfaction.

“As if I would forget any moment I have with you, with both of you,” Yunho scolded before he pulled Mingi into a hungry kiss. He let himself dive into the sensation and the taste of him, let the intoxication of passion fill him. She watched them silently, not wanting to break the haze of desire that was surrounding them. She loved seeing when they let go, when they lost the rest of the world in their love. She held her breath and watched as their mouths played and clashed. They were beautiful when they were with each other.

“Can I?” Yunho broke the kiss and brought his hands down to the waistband of Mingi’s jeans. Mingi nodded and leaned back a little to allow him to fumble at the button and zipper on his pants. Yunho unfastened them and slipped his fingers inside the waistband on his hips. He touched his skin there, enjoying the simple intrusion of touching the skin beneath. Mingi rocked forward, silently asking him to pull them down further, to take the next step.

“Impatient,” Yunho teased, unable to hide his smile as he spoke to Mingi.

“I’ve missed you,” Mingi whined. “When I...just by myself, it isn’t the same.”

“I know,” Yunho was sympathetic and couldn’t have agreed more. Taking pity on him, Yunho helped him to pull off his pants and underwear after they both cast a quick look around to make sure their spot had not been intruded upon by anyone. The snow cover of the city made it easier to spot anyone that might have made their way there against the bright backdrop of the snow. Assured they were still alone, they both stripped the last of their clothes off.

“Love, I know you can’t be here, can’t be with us but,” Yunho leaned close to the phone that connected them with her. “Will you touch yourself for us?” She nodded and set the phone down to strip herself naked as well. When she was finished she lay down on top of the covers and let the camera pan down her naked body.

“You look pretty,” Mingi complemented, looking intently at the screen. “Are you wet already?” She nodded, switching the phone to one hand and letting the other slip between her legs and gather a little on her fingertips. She brought them back up, letting them see the evidence of her wetness before she brought them to her lips and sucked them clean.

“Good,” Yunho palmed himself, slightly below the view of the camera, but the movement was clear. Mingi let his hand tease along the inside of his own leg, working closer to his erection but not yet touching it. Yunho dug into the little bag he had brought with him from home and pulled out the little tube of lube he had snuck out with him. He turned in his seat to lean against the car door and stretched his legs out over the back seat. Mingi straddled his thighs and looked down at Yunho’s deep brown eyes which looked up at him with such love.

Mingi leaned over putting his hands on the door beside Yunho’s shoulders, bringing his lips to the other boys. Their erections pressed together and Yunho wrapped them both with one of his large hands. He played with them both as they fell into a deep kiss. Mingi rutted into his hand as he used his own to hold Yunho’s face, angling it just right to fit with his.

“Here, come a little forward,” Yunho coaxed Mingi’s hips until he was straddling higher, near his waist. His hands caressed along his lower back and the curve of his butt. “Is it okay if I start getting you ready for me?”

“Please,” Mingi nodded, arching his back a little to make it easier for him to reach. Yunho put a little lube on his fingers. He slipped his fingers between his cheeks to the small, puckered hole and began making slow circles. Mingi slowly relaxed under his touch, letting out a breathy sigh at the feel of his fingers.

“Does it feel good?” Yunho asked in the quiet of the car.

“Yeah,” Mingi let out a huffing whine. “Faster, I want you in me.”

“Patience, love,” Yunho soothed. “I want it to feel good.”

“It does, it always does,” Mingi insisted.

“Kiss me,” Yunho suggested. “Show our girl how much you want it.” Mingi leaned forward and brought his lips to Yunho’s, licking and nibbling at them eagerly. He moved in time with the sweep of Yunho’s fingers, mirroring them in his eagerness. Yunho slowly worked in one finger and then two, slowly opening him. Mingi protested against his lips when he removed his fingers.

“Shhhh, you’re finally getting your wish,” Yunho chuckled at his pout. He reached for the lube again and spread it on himself, wiping a little of the excess on Mingi before cleaning his hands on the little towel he had thought ahead to bring as well. He positioned himself at Mingi’s entrance and let the other boy sink down his length as fast as he felt comfortable.

When Mingi had taken him completely, they both turned their attention to the screen to look at their girl. Her room was dim but they could still see her face looking at them in the dim light. She noticed their eyes on her and she flashed them a smile and blew them a kiss.

“You’ve been quiet, love, are you okay?” Yunho asked.

“I just heard someone in the hall so I have to be careful,” she whispered. “I think everyone is finally going to bed.”

Mingi let out a moan and felt himself flutter around Yunho inside him. He wanted to move but he wanted to be sure she was with them, that she was there and enjoying this as much they were. He rocked slightly and managed to ask. “Are you still with us?”

“I’m here,” she assured him. “I want to see you. Please.”

“Can you ride me?” Yunho asked, running his palms up Mingi’s strong thighs. Mingi nodded, moving slowly at first, the friction giving him slow waves of pleasure as he did. Yunho let him set a steady pace before bringing one of his hands to Mingi’s hard length where it jutted between them. He matched the movements of his hand to Mingi’s rhythm. Mingi let himself go and started moving faster, hunching forward to avoid hitting his head as he moved.

“So good,” Yunho praised, caressing Mingi’s waist as he stroked him. “You feel so good around me.”

“Fuck,” Mingi panted as he looked down at the other boy. “I’m not gonna last like this.”

“I want you to come on me,” Yunho encouraged, his breathing tense. “Make a mess for me.”

“Keep going,” Mingi entreated, closing his eyes and letting himself focus on the pleasure Yunho’s body was giving him. He let all of the stress of being home, the stress of missing them, the stress of having to stand alone against a relentless barrage of criticism and dismissal melt away. He let the love Yunho gave with his body fill him. He heard Yunho’s breaths growing harsher and more ragged as her faint, suppressed moans traveled through the phone to him. He opened his eyes to see the face that matched those sounds, his eyes going to the small screen hanging off the back of the front seat. Her face was soft and pink as she watched, her lips parted as she panted quietly.

“Are you close, too?” He asked her.

“Yeah,” She whispered back. “But I want to see you cum...and I want to see Yunho fill you. I want to hear you both.”

“Come for her, love,” Yunho urged, his fingers digging into Mingi’s hips as he felt his own pleasure building. “Just let go.” He sped up the movement of his hand and watched Mingi’s face take on a slack look he so often slipped into just before he reached his orgasm. Mingi’s rhythm faltered slightly as sensations bubbled up inside him. Everything felt good. His skin tingled and he could feel the coolness of the air clinging to him as a fine sheen of sweat started to to cover him.

“I’m gonna cum,” he panted, grounding himself down on Yunho and let him continue to work his hand on him in the last few seconds before his orgasm washed over him. Yunho’s hand continued to stroke him as thick ropes of cum spurted out across Yunho’s chest. Mingi panted and his cock twitched, letting the pleasure subsume him like a wave.

“You look so pretty like that,” Yunho praised him as he finally let go of his spent length, his hands moving to hold his hips now. “Lean forward just a little, love.” Mingi nodded, leaning on his hands where he rested them on either side of Yunho’s head. A weakness suffused his limbs, but he held himself as Yunho thrust up into him, chasing his own pleasure now. Mingi’s eyes returned to the screen at the sound of her panting as it joined Yunho’s in the quiet of the car. Her gaze was hooded and her eyes hazy as she watched them.

“Is our girl close, too?” Yunho asked, not taking his eyes from where his body moved in and out of Mingi.

“Yes,” Mingi replied breathlessly. “She’s so pretty like that.”

“Our girl is beautiful when she cums,” Yunho panted. “And it’s for us; only for us.” He heard as she gave a faint strangled noise then lapsed into just heavy breathing. Yunho tore his gaze away from Mingi and looked at her. Only her face was on the screen, focusing on the blissful expression she wore, eyes closed and her jaw clenched.

Yunho pulled Mingi down on him harshly as his own orgasm hit him suddenly. He had been so focused on them, on making sure this lasted enough to be good for both of them, that he had pushed his pleasure to the side. When it finally burst over it, it was like the breaking of a dam as a single crack finally caused it to fail. Blinding white filled his vision and a tingling rippled out over his skin with an almost painful intensity.

Mingi watched as Yunho came beneath him. He looked almost surprised as it overtook him and he squeezed his eyes shut. If he hadn’t known any better, Mingi might have thought he was in pain as the other boy released himself in his body. Yunho’s hands gripped his hips almost painfully and Mingi was sure he would have bruises from it. He didn’t mind, in fact he would be glad to see them over the coming days when he had no choice but to be alone with his parents. When he saw them or felt them, they would remind him of this, of the people who loved him for himself; of their shared generosity of everything that made them who they were.

When they had all taken a moment to recover, they said their good nights and hung up, leaving Mingi and Yunho in the car to clean up. They were careful to leave no traces on the car or themselves and Yunho hid the tube and towel under the seat before redressing. Mingi pulled his own clothes on, focusing on that to avoid thinking about how soon he would be alone again.

“We’ll hang out again before the holiday is over,” Yunho promised, caressing Mingi’s cheek when he saw the sad look he couldn’t keep from his face.

“Of course,” Mingi looked at him and forced himself to smile.

“No, I mean it,” Yunho took Mingi by the chin and made him look him in the eyes. “I won’t leave you alone there very long. And even when I’m not there, when we aren’t there, we’re here,” he put his other hand over Mingi’s heart. “And we aren’t that far. If you need me, just call. I’ll always pick up and if I need to come get you, I will always come.”

“I love you,” Mingi held the wrist of the hand on his chest. “Knowing that you love me too, makes it survivable.”

“New Year’s isn’t really important to my mom, not like Christmas is anyways,” Yunho began. “Maybe we can spend it with San and our girl at her parents.”

“Lucky San getting to spend the whole holiday there,” Mingi sighed.

“Yeah,” Yunho gave him a laugh and a smile. “I can’t really envy him too much, but then again, I still have my mom at least and I am sure he would happily trade being there for having his family again.”

“Yeah,” Mingi agreed, San might be lucky to have been accepted into the arms of her loving family, but no generosity of spirit on the part of her family could erase the sadness of the rejection of his father after the loss of his mother. Yunho pulled Mingi into a hug, warm and reassuring, just holding him.

“Ready to go home?” Yunho asked him after a moment.

“I’m ready,” Mingi nodded and pulled back. They both got out and moved to the front seat, letting silence settle on them as they pulled out of their secluded refuge to return to the real world. It won’t have to be for very long, Yunho promised himself, hoping that Mingi could feel the promise he couldn’t bring himself to voice.

Masterlist

[veryvincible]

In extension to Tonys mental health. Do we ever see Tony address his mental illness or seek out professional help? I remember Carol going to her therapist but what about Tony?

We do! It’s one of my favorite things about him.

Since you mentioned her-- Tony and Carol’s recovery and healing are actually pretty tied to each other. Tony started dealing with his problem first (which led to him being able to recognize Carol’s problem when she was too compromised to acknowledge it and also him sponsoring her in AA), and they’ve been huge supports for each other through it all. We’ve gotten some really nice scenes of them bonding through this, and it’s actually pretty long-standing. Even when it’s not handled the best, it’s still acknowledged, and that level of consistency in relationships is nice.

We mostly see Tony dealing with his alcoholism as, again, it’s one of his more explicitly stated mental illnesses and it’s narratively held in a higher regard than any specific struggle with mental health is-- ”specific” here referring to a diagnosis separate from “ah, yes, he’s struggling”, since he’s a character with obvious mental health issues but not in same sense as a character with issues specifically related to OCD, ADHD, schizophrenia, anxiety, etc. When he struggles, we see references to alcohol. Even when he doesn’t drink, we see references to alcohol. There’s obviously more going on there, but... basically, Marvel has chosen to handle his treatment by continuing with that trend of using his alcoholism to show his journey through recovery in general. 

I think it’s a pretty solid move, given that a more realistic and specific set of diagnoses, professionals, and treatment methods could potentially be more likely to get lost in translation between writers and runs. I don’t think it’s not doable, but I don’t think it’s necessarily more or less doable than focusing on the alcoholism like Marvel ultimately did. They chose what they were going for, and I think it’s pretty cool, especially since we see a lot of characters struggling with mental health issues, but we only have a handful of characters in 616 that have both struggled with alcoholism and sought treatment for it. It’s a nice bit of explicit and consistent representation for people who need it.

Anyway, that’s just to explain why we don’t see a lot of references to psychiatric help outside of rehabilitation for the alcoholism (I’m pretty sure he mentions having a therapist a few times, but I don’t know how to find evidence of that, and also those might have been jokes, so I’m not going to say that with confidence).

So, back to Tony and Carol, since most of the explicit treatment we see Tony getting is followed by Carol getting that same treatment.

In Iron Man Vol. 3 #26, Carol finally admits to Tony that he was right in saying she had a drinking problem (which happened a little earlier), and she’s like, “Sorry for trying to beat your ass when I was drunk! How do I make it up to you!” and he’s like, “Well, you could get help,” and so she does:

They both do. Together. Carol joins the same meetings that Tony’s presumably been attending for a good while, and their journeys become intertwined. I really do enjoy how we get to see a lot of Tony’s recovery through him helping others. It feels very on brand for him.

This next bit is from Invincible Iron Man Vol. 3 #14, which is related to CWII and has references to Tony’s conflict with Carol. He’s considerate of her addiction and worried about her even after everything (and, honestly, this whole issue makes it clear how much they care about and love each other, so I’d recommend it if you’re interested in that even if CWII was a bit, uh, lacking in some of its leaps of logic).

I didn’t really have to add that bit of the second page, there, but if showing an awareness of his recovery and mental health is what you desire, then the simple statement of “I’m fine, I haven’t had a drink, but I do have triggers and I need to be cautious” is pretty indicative of where he’s at. It’s heartbreaking to see a guy in pain, but a nice touch to add for people who use Tony as a way to navigate their own healing and recovery.

Adding a little bit of their AA interaction under the cut since it’s not Tony-specific, but it is really, really nice, and I think it’s worth a read.

But that’s basically it there. He does seek treatment, and while his earlier days were filled with the painful cycle of crash -> seek treatment -> crash -> seek treatment, he’s reached the point where treatment is preventative. He knows himself well, and his recovery is... raw, and cathartic to read.

Hope this answered your question!

Ah, look at them. <3

[lucky-fox]

Funnel Web - Part 15

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The next day at lunch she was sitting alone. Again. Classes had been too boring for her to aptly focus her attention on, and she was ignoring Adrien. As much as she could. Early on in class she let her hair hang loose to use it as a way to hide her face because she knew that a stray comment would make it to her mind and she’d react, and she wanted to avoid that as much as possible.

She kept her head down and tried to focus on her notes, even though she really wanted to laugh at some of his comments. One of them almost got Nathaniel in trouble when he laughed too loud. Adrien said it was his fault and was given lunch detention. A small mercy because she knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid him then.

Rose and Juleka came up to her, though, just after she had finished eating.

“Hey.” Marinette greeted them. They stood there, switching between looking between her and the ground. “What’s up?”

“We, uh.” Juleka started.

“We’re starting to not like Lila so much.” Rose explained. “After you ran out of practice yesterday she started making you the punchline to a lot of her jokes. She was being just, really mean.” Her face was somewhere between ashamed and concerned.

“We don’t like it when people are like that to our friends.” Juleka mumbled.

“Okay.” Marinette said. “So why are you telling me?”

“We’re starting to think that she has been lying about almost everything. We knew she was telling lies in the beginning but they weren’t really hurting anyone and they were kind of too far off to be true. We thought that she was just trying to make friends but looking back at it, we shouldn’t have let her do that. That just made it okay for her to say whatever she wants now. And that the lies are hurting you. We should have noticed sooner. We’re really sorry.” Rose explained.

“Okay. Is that it?” Marinette didn’t put too much hope in their hesitance,

“We don’t want to try to out her to the others because...” Juleka trailed off and sort of gestured to Marinette.

They were scared, Marinette thought to herself. They saw what Lila had done to her, and how their classmates reacted, and they were scared. She couldn’t blame them. If she saw what happened to her happen to someone before her, she wouldn’t have wanted to say anything either. 

“Lila’s power is only as much as you give her.” Marinette said, offering them a seat. “I didn’t know that she would be there and I let her see just how much she’s affected me. And sometimes, simple actions send messages louder, and clearer, than any words can.” They sat there together, quietly, as Juleka and Rose processed what she was saying, and what they were doing by sitting with her.

“So,” Rose changed subjects, trying to lighten the mood. “What did Adrien say that was so funny?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m kind of mad at him right now and I was ignoring him earlier so you’d have to ask Nathaniel.” All three of them started laughing a little at that.

Marinette appreciated them telling her about the lies and explaining their stance in everything. She understood the benefit of the doubt approach. It hurt that it took for them to witness what Lila was doing firsthand before they said anything, but they told her.

In the class after lunch they had to work in groups of four, but before Marinette called Rose and Juleka over with her and Adrien, Adrien apologized.

“I shouldn’t have let you walk in there without telling you.” He said.

“No, you shouldn’t have. It hurt when I found out that you knew and didn’t tell me, but now...” Marinette sighed.

“Are we okay?” He asked. 

“Mostly.” Marinette nodded before she called Juleka and Rose over. 

They weren’t loud. Necessarily. But they were asked if they were getting their work done more than once. They were cracking jokes and sharing answers. Marinette was enjoying herself and not worrying about who was where and doing what and why. It was a nice feeling, and one that she could get so much more comfortable with it.

She didn’t quite catch the looks Lila was shooting her way.

Taglist is still open and under the cut ^-^

Taglist: @clumsy-owl-4178 @lil-1254s-blog @ladybug-182 @syddles-the-squiddles @corabeth11 @little-lady-bird @fandom-trapped-03 @starpony999 @anapatty26 @gwennex @heaven428 @blackkatvixen @mcheang @melicmusicmagic @elmokingkong @arsaem @lilkymilky @loysydark @theanxiouscupcake @finallyaniguana @its-salty-bug @your-cool-queer-older-sister @shamefullove @whatsupwithjinx @niftyshiftyminty @emilytopaz @chrismarium @trippingovermyfeet @the-navistar-carol @aestheticnpoetic @rianoel @lavenderjunes @nach0ava @uwuteamleader @lusicing

[ohblackdiamond]

“little t&a” playlist

what i like to do, as much as possible, when i’m able, is to try to suffuse a story in its particular era. the further out from any decade, the more easy it is to lose the nuances of the time period and start being incredibly reductive. i don’t really like that-- plus, it’s fun to try to get as much of the “vibe” right as possible. i like trying to do that through songs. the late seventies were a lot more than punk rock and disco, i promise.

when i wrote “little t&a,” i had a pretty lengthy list of songs i’d listen to over and over in an effort to inspire myself. some of them ended up played in the story itself; others, not so much.

songs played in the story: “blinded by the light,” manfred mann --i picked this one because i thought it was a little amusing that manfred mann, much like KISS, had about a decade between his stints in the u.s. billboard top ten (though manfred mann had two #1s, while KISS... didn’t). it’s also an easy one to mess up the lyrics to.

”i honestly love you,” olivia newton-john --paul sings one line of this in the car with gene. he’s singing it as a joke, but olivia was seen as a very angelic/pure/overly good girl singer at this point in time (pre-grease and obviously very pre-”physical”), and it’s a little foreshadowing for later when carol mentions being at the record store to buy one of her albums.

a ramones setlist --i did a fair amount of research for the cbgb and studio 54 portions of the story, and the ramones’ borderline residency at cbgb was really cool to me. “tonight’s the night,” rod stewart --this one is obvious. the song’s about a girl giving up her virginity to rod. it’s just paul trying to make those overtures to gene, though he gets embarrassed about it and tries to deny it. “country girl,” crosby, stills, nash, and young --“country girl, i think you’re pretty/got to make you understand/have no lovers in the city/let me be your country man” is pretty obvious (gene’s growing feelings for paul), but the song itself is very wistful and maudlin. the “too late to keep the change/too late to pay/no time to stay the same” part is a reference to both of their uncertainties at this point about the curse. “got to give it up,” marvin gaye (not mentioned by title, but this is the song playing in studio 54 during the dance scene) --again, this is mostly just a sex reference

songs and albums mentioned in the story: *“witch doctor,” alvin and the chipmunks 

*“the purple people eater,” sheb wooley

*a night on the town, rod stewart *deja vu, crosby, stills, nash, and young --this is not a good album to dance to at all. why paul tries to anyway is mainly because the album is pretty indicative of the music he was listening to when he and gene first became friends (yes, yes, beatles superiority in both their opinions, yes, but have you heard any of wicked lester’s stuff? they were just as influenced by folk rock). it’s nostalgic for both of them.

*flowing rivers, andy gibb --not mentioned by name, but barry gibb mentions his little brother andy’s solo album in his conversation with gene and paul, saying it’s a guaranteed hit-- the lead single off this album, “i just wanna be your everything,” hit #1 on the u.s. billboard charts later that year, 1977. this is several months prior to saturday night fever soundtrack’s release, which absolutely sent the bee gees’ popularity into the stratosphere and, rather unfairly, linked them inextricably to disco.

*dressed to kill, KISS *alive, KISS *have you never been mellow, olivia newton-john --the album carol intended to buy at the record store. more indicative of the kind of girl carol was, or at least, the music she was into prior to meeting paul.

*“when you wish upon a star,” pinocchio --gene’s love for this song (he put it on his solo album) and this movie has been stated repeatedly and i think it’s so sweet. paul takes the whole pinocchio thing in a way i don’t think gene intended (”work hard, get your wish” and assuming gene’s wish is that he’d stay a girl); it’s kind of sad how he initially envisions that as the ideal.

*more of the monkees, the monkees --paul plays this alone in the basement. it’s mostly meant as a contrast to gene’s being upfront and honest about the things he enjoys, whereas paul feels like he has to put on constantly.

songs i listened to: “little t&a,” the rolling stones (the title of the story) “the spider and the fly,” the rolling stones (most of the chapter titles) “let me!” paul revere and the raiders “give in,” leif garrett “twelve-thirty,” the mamas and the papas (later chapters, but mainly chapter 25 as paul waits on gene’s return) “dark star,” crosby, stills, and nash (smut scenes, primarily) “i’ll wait,” van halen “back into my arms again,” ace frehley (last chapter title)

[heartofether]

Bonus Episode #4 - Irene's Inauguration TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[INTRO MUSIC PLAYS FOR SOME TIME BEFORE FADING OUT.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE BREAK ROOM, MIDDAY, AROUND LUNCH.]

[IRENE IS SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE, WHILE ADEN IS LEANING OVER HER SHOULDER. THERE ARE VARIOUS OFFICE AMBIANCE NOISES HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

I don’t think I need your help setting it up, you know. I’m pretty sure I can figure out how to use an app.

ADEN

Sorry, sorry, I’m just—excited, you know? It feels like you’re about to take a big step, and I get to be the one to watch it happen.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] As if this is a major life milestone.

ADEN

Hey, I think it is! In a way. You know? It’s not common for someone your age to not be active on social media—

IRENE

Hey.

ADEN

Not that that’s a bad thing! You’re like, joining the masses though. It’s like an inauguration.

IRENE

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

ADEN

And, I’d also like to witness the outcome of my months of pestering you.

IRENE

Hey! I kept saying I was going to—

ADEN

So have you come up with a username yet?

IRENE

Um, not really? I’m guessing just irenegray is taken.

ADEN

Mmmm, probably. If it helps at all, I added a word to my username that I thought sounded nice. Kind of like, something cool and aesthetic, you know?

IRENE

See, that’s part of the problem. You actively have an aesthetic you’re trying to maintain. I’m just kind of, you know. [SHE VAGUELY MOTIONS.]

ADEN

Hey, I think that’s great that you're authentically yourself and you don’t adhere to any restrictive subcultures.

IRENE

If you wanna call it that… honestly though I just hadn’t thought about it. I mean, you know I’m mostly doing this for you, right?

ADEN

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just pick a word you like and pair it with your name to see if it sounds nice! Maybe, like, an adjective?

IRENE

Hm. [SHE THINKS FOR A MOMENT, THEN] I kind of like the idea of it being something forest-themed.

ADEN

That would be cute! What if you did, like, the name of a tree? [BEAT] Ooh! You could do something like cedarirene, as in red cedars, you like those, right?

IRENE

[THINKING] I kind of like that, they’re pretty… [beat]

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKE] Or you could do, like, irenefir, as in Douglas-fir? Those are pretty common in this part of the states.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES, THEN, HUMS IN THOUGHT.] Yeah, I’m not sure I’m going for the Christmas tree route today.

ADEN

Hey, if you end up deciding you don’t like it, you can always change it later.

IRENE

That’s a good point. [BEAT] But I think cedarirene is good.

ADEN

I like it, too.

[A PAUSE AS SHE TYPES.]

ADEN

Then just add your email and password—don’t worry, I’ll look away for this part… [KEEPS TRAILING ON AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT WHILE IRENE TYPES] Even though I’m fairly certain it’s the same login info you use for everything… which you should really work on by the way, you know that really isn’t the most secure—

[MORE PHONE TYPING.]

IRENE

Got it.

ADEN

Then you’re done!

[A BEAT.]

IRENE

What do I do now?

ADEN

Now, you get to customize your profile. You know, add your name, your bio, a profile picture—oh, actually hold on, give me your phone real quick.

IRENE

Why?

ADEN

I want you to follow me! Here, just let me search for my username.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Sure. Go wild.

[ADEN IS HEARD TYPING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ADEN

…and done. Oh, actually, while I’m here, I should have you follow Carol and Julia. [HE STARTS TYPING THEIR USERNAMES IN.]

IRENE

[IN SHOCK] Carol has Instagram?

ADEN

Uh, yeah.[beat] You seriously don’t understand just how behind you are, do you?

IRENE

[SHE GAPES IN FAUX-OFFENSE] You act like I’m withering away into a pile of dust just for not using social media.

ADEN

[GIGGLING] I’m kidding, Irene! I know lots of reasons why someone may want to go off the grid. I mean, social media can be kind of, er…

IRENE

A cruel and unjust place full of corporate marketing and unattainable standards?

ADEN

Yeah. Also, it can be kind of addicting for some people. So just, I mean I doubt you’ll have that problem since you don’t really seem to care, but just—be careful.

IRENE

Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll even use it that much.

ADEN

You better at least open the app every now and then. I want to send you stuff.

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] I’ll keep notifications on for you, bud… If nothing else.

ADEN

Right, so, back to your profile. I’ll let you do whatever you want for this part. Oh, you should put your pronouns in your bio, though.

IRENE

Got it. [A PAUSE, THEN] Uh, what else should I put?

ADEN

Anything you want, really. Some people like to put their age, their job, sexuality, a fun fact about themselves.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really want to share my entire personal life with the internet.

ADEN

Then don’t. Just put some totally random fun fact.

IRENE

Hm. Okay.

[A PAUSE AS IRENE TYPES.]

ADEN

Is that… did you actually drink three cups of coffee in less than one hour before?

IRENE

It was finals season.

ADEN

[CONCERNED] I can only drink one cup, and that still makes me shaky. Were you okay?

IRENE

Gonna be totally honest, I don’t remember a damn thing from those twenty-four hours.

[THERE’S A BRIEF PAUSE BEFORE THEY BOTH LAUGH FOR A FEW SECONDS.]

ADEN

[THROUGH FADING LAUGHTER] Okay, okay. Now you just need to set a profile pic.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really take selfies ever.

ADEN

It doesn’t have to be a photo of your face. Do you have any pets?

IRENE

Not unless my dead betta fish from three years ago counts.

ADEN

Hm, okay. Some people just make it a color they like, or if you just have a nice photo in your camera roll you want to use, you could do that. Some people use characters they like, art pieces, pictures of buildings, yada, yada, yada. Just pick something.

IRENE

Where do you get all of your info about Instagram accounts, anyways?

ADEN

Oh, it was actually my minor in college. “Aesthetically Pleasing Profiles 101.”

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

ADEN

I’m joking, of course. It’s just…I don’t know, the internet was kind of a safe space for me for a while? When I first moved to Daughtler, I didn’t have many friends, and my constant state of anxiety was far from helpful. Online, I could be myself and find people with similar interests way easier than I could around town, without ever having to worry about my weird real-life mannerisms that might drive people away.

IRENE

[SINCERE] That makes a lot of sense. It’s good to have support like that. I, uh, probably could have used something like that in college, honestly. I just got kind of used to isolating myself after a while, I guess. [A BEAT.] Though, if it helps at all, I think you’re pretty cool offline, too.

ADEN

Thanks, Irene. [A BEAT.] So, about your profile pic.

IRENE

Do you think Carol would mind if I made it a picture of Mothman?

ADEN

I— [HE GIGGLES.] You know what? I think she’d think it’s cute. Do it.

[IRENE GIGGLES. SHE SETS THE PROFILE PIC.]

ADEN

Welcome to the digital world, Irene Gray.

IRENE

Please, I’m not a grandpa. I know how the internet works.

ADEN

I know, I know. I’m excited to see what you post, though.

IRENE

[THINKING] I honestly hadn’t given it much thought. I guess we’ll find out… if I remember to.

ADEN

Don’t think about it too hard, alright? Just be your authentic self.

IRENE

I’ll certainly try my best.

[PHONE BEEP.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: "Love is a leash that goes both ways."

Becca De La Rosa in Mabel, Episode 36, 2019.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[harringrovetrashrat]

#41 and #11 but they are playing straight in front of the other guests (?)

I… don’t know what happened here, but this got away from me.  I was originally gonna do something cute and tongue in cheek and Billy and Steve getting it on in a closet and then pretending they didn’t just suck face, and then the angst came a knocking and took over.  And this all just kinda happened.

I hope you enjoy, anon!  (And no worries, I still plan to write the other one ;) )

TW for homophobic language (the f slur)

#41 SPIN THE BOTTLE and #11 “YOU CALL THAT A KISS?”

Steve was on the couch, watching the party around him as he nursed his drink.  It was almost spring break now, and he had started to go back to parties.  Mostly because Billy still loved parties and since Steve and Billy were friends, Steve went.  Wasn’t harassed by Tommy with Billy there.  Well, not as much.  He was still sour over the fact that Steve had dumped him and Carol, been easy pickings, and then suddenly usurped Tommy’s role as Billy’s right hand man.  And he made sure Steve knew it.

But free booze and drugs were free booze and drugs, and Steve was still stressed from last fall.  Stressed about school.  Stressed about Billy.

He and Billy had been fooling around for a few months now.  It had started around Christmas when they both found themselves at the Quarry.  They’d been on better terms since the tunnels, forming a sort of friendship, and then that night, after drinking whiskey to keep warm, Billy had kissed him.  Steve hadn’t known until it happened how much he had been wanting it to happen.  Hadn’t realized that that was what those feelings were.  Had kissed back ferociously and sloppily, until they had parted, panting and red lipped.  Since then, they’d continued, unable to keep their hands off each other for too long.

It was hard though, of course.  School was easier with them being friends now, but even so, Billy had never been overly affectionate with anyone, and it would have been noticeable if he’d been different with Steve.  So they were careful.  And the ways it could go wrong, especially for Billy, made Steve worry.

He was lost in thought when there was some shouting from the den.  Steve stood, pushing through the slightly smaller crowd, to find a circle of teens with a bottle in the middle.  He snorted, rolling his eyes a little.  He thought this game had stopped being cool, but there was no limit to what drunks found entertaining.  Steve spotted Billy, being forced into the circle by Krissy, and it made him prickle with jealousy.  He sat between Tammy and Lucy, not about to idly watch Billy kiss girls.  They met eyes across the circle and Billy raised a brow.  Steve just shrugged, but Billy knew him too well, and he got that smug smirk he always got when Steve made it apparent how clingy he was.  Billy was into it, luckily enough.

“I’ll start!” Carol called, spinning the empty beer bottle.  It landed on some dude from the football team, and Tommy frowned when they kissed.  The game continued, boring and kind of annoying, until Tammy landed on Nicole and all the guys cheered, chanting for them to kiss.  The girls played it up, using obvious tongue and moaning obnoxiously.  Steve thought he would have been into it, probably would have been before Nancy and everything, but they were so obnoxious, it made his insides squirm in a bad way.  Billy just looked bored.

After that, the game carried on simply enough until Steve, who had gotten a simple peck from Stacey, spun the bottle, and it landed on Billy.  The room quieted, many sets of eyes darting between the two.  They met eyes across the circle, Billy’s smirk growing, and Steve turned bright red.

“Come on!” Tammy called.  “We did it!”

“Yeah!” Nicole agreed.  “Do it!  Do it!” The boys in the room looked decidedly uncomfortable, but they were playing it by ear.  If Billy didn’t care, they wouldn’t care.  At least outwardly.  Billy cracked his neck and leered at Steve.

“Well, well King Steve,” he said, tongue flicking across his top teeth as his eyes glinted dangerously.  Steve tried to subtly adjust himself.  “We gonna give the ladies what they ask for?  Or are you chicken?” Steve rolled his eyes, but smirked before he leaned across the circle and pecked Billy on the lips.  There was a tittering from the crowd and Tammy yelled,

“You seriously call that a kiss?” Steve locked eyes with Billy again, a fire churning low in his gut.  It wasn’t that he didn’t wanna kiss Billy; of fucking course he did.  He just wasn’t sure he wanted to do it right here right now.  Especially when Billy was looking at him like that.

Billy gave him a quirk of the brow, one Steve had come to recognize as Do you trust me?  And Steve did.  So he let Billy yank him in, smile wide and devious, before shoving his tongue into Steve’s mouth.  He bit back a moan, doing his best to make it look like he was only pretending to enjoy threading his fingers in Billy’s hair.  The noise around them stuttered to a stop, silence sweeping in until they pulled apart, panting and red lipped.  There was a beat before Steve gave a small quirk of the lips, and held out his hand.

“Not bad, Hargrove,” he said, letting the cockiness King Steve had worn as his crown out just a bit.  Billy’s eyes flashed and he licked his lips obscenely.

“Next time tug on my hair a little harder,” he replied with a wink.  The room erupted into noise.  The girls were staring, eyes wide, smiles big, obviously pleased with the show they got.  The boys were trying to act like they didn’t care, but were obviously not expecting either of them to have gone through with it.  But no one wanted to look lame in front of Mr. California.

Billy settled back and rested his hand on Krissy’s knee.  It helped Steve’s chub go down, but it also made his stomach twist.  It’s what needed to happen.  Rationally, he knew that.  But fuck.  Fuck he wanted to fucking shove his tongue down Billy’s throat without anyone making a fuss.  Without fucking fear.  Without having to make it a fucking joke.

“I mean, it’s a little gay though, dude,” Steve heard Mark say.  “Like, kissing another guy?”

“Get your panties untwisted,” Billy grumbled around the cigarette he was lighting.  “Shit only means shit if you want it to.  You really think each hooker is into the guy she’s fucking?  Nah man.” He exhaled the smoke into Mark’s face, making him cough.  “They go where the money is.”

“Yeah but you didn’t get paid to do that,” Tommy said, sneering just a little.  He’d never been the most open minded, and even Billy’s status couldn’t keep him from opening his fat mouth.

“Lemme give you some education, amigo,” Billy said, voice sharp, eyes even sharper.  “Chicks dig confidence.  They dig you showing off how comfortable you are with yourself, yeah?” He leaned forward, the cherry of his cigarette getting dangerously close to Tommy’s face.  “You get paid in pussy for shit like that, Hagan.” His eyes glinted and Tommy flinched back, just the slightest.  The rest of the guys seemed to mull this over, not wanting to argue with someone who was known to violently burst.  Especially when drunk.

“It’s still gross,” Tommy mumbled, not meeting Billy’s eye.  Billy rolled his eyes and pulled back, exhaling the smoke as he pinched the cigarette between his thumb and middle finger.

“Hagan, I have seen you eat out of the trash,” he droned, smirking more when Tommy went red and the girls around laughed at him.  “And you didn’t get paid.”

“Whatever,” Tommy grumbled, anger pouring off of him.  Krissy seemed to get tired of the conversation.

“Billy,” she cooed into his ear, hand rubbing up his thigh.  Steve clenched his fists and tried to will that angry little green monster away.  Those were his thighs too feel up, his chest to admire, and his lips to kiss.  “The game’s a bust.  Maybe we should just say that your spin landed on me?” Steve stood up abruptly and headed for the kitchen.  The sounds of the group in the next room were quieter and he took some calming breaths.  He grabbed an open bottle of tequila and poured himself a shot, tossing it back easily.

“Got what you wanted, huh?” Tommy’s voice cut through the quiet in the kitchen like a knife.  Steve turned, frowning.  He hadn’t even noticed Tommy had followed him.

“What?” Steve replied, because he was jealous, tired, and needed a fucking drink if he had to watch Krissy Simpson suck face with his boyfriend all night.  Well, kind of boyfriend.  They hadn’t really made it a thing, not out loud, but Steve could think about it however he wanted.  And boy, did he want Billy to be his boyfriend.  It was a vaguely sobering thought.

“I see the way you look at him,” Tommy sneered, voice low.  It made Steve’s hands clammy but he rolled his eyes.

“Are you fucking kidding me man?” Steve asked.  “Look at him like what?  Like he’s an obnoxious tool that happens to be my friend?”

“You look at him like you looked at Wheeler.” It was like Steve had been drenched in ice water.  He couldn’t help the way his breath stuttered and his eyes widened.  Tommy grabbed a beer from the ice tub, eyes never leaving Steve.  “So,” he repeated, words slow, calculated, and cruel, “Did you,” he popped the tab, “Get what,” he moved closer to Steve, who found he couldn’t breathe, “You wanted?”

“Fuck off, Tommy,” Steve bit out, trying to ignore the wiggling in his stomach.  The nerves that threatened to burst.  Tommy slammed the beer on the counter and shoved Steve up against the fridge, magnets clattering to the ground as Steve let out a whoosh of air.

“I’m not stupid,” he hissed.  “You look at him all the fucking time.  Bet you were just praying that the bottle would land on him.  Fucking disgusting.” Steve turned red in embarrassment and anger, shoving Tommy back, despite the fact that his nerves were making him feel like throwing up.

“I said fuck off,” he repeated through gritted teeth.  “You’d don’t know shit.”  Tommy shoved him in retaliation and Steve cursed when the corner of the counter jabbed into his back.

“I’ve known you since we were kids,” Tommy said, an old hurt laced in his voice.  “I know plenty.  Like how you were the one who said we should practice kissing, you were the one who always wanted to fucking holds hands, you were the one who–”

“Shut up!” Steve yelled, shoving Tommy back again.  This gathered some attention from the other room, finally, and people crept in the doorway, ready to watch a fight.  “You think you know me, but you don’t know fucking anything,” he spat out.  He was shaking, angry and scared, and his hands curled into fists at his sides.  Tommy didn’t bother acknowledging the crowd, but his mean grin meant he knew they were there.

“Does he know?” He asked, taking a step forward.  “Is that how you climbed back up the ladder?  King Steve, down on his knees, just fucking begging to su–” Steve punched Tommy in the jaw, fury boiling over, heated by fear.  The crowd ‘ooh’d.  Tommy stumbled back, but recovered quickly enough and tackled Steve to the floor.  They grappled, cheers from the group egging them on.

Tommy got the upper hand, as he usually did, and punched Steve so hard his head spun.  He spit some blood on the floor next to him and bucked, trying to dislodge the other boy.  Tommy just sneered and reared back to punch him again when he was being hauled off.  Billy pulled him by his collar, making him choke ever so slightly.  His eyes were dark and furious, teeth bared and glinting as he pushed Tommy against the counter until he hissed.

“You’re really pushing your limits tonight, Hagan,” he said, voice low and dangerous.  The room buzzed with energy, tense and excited.  Tommy bristled, but didn’t shove Billy, though he was clearly itching to.  Billy leaned closer and tilted his head.  “Well?  You gonna tell me why you were beating up on Harrington?”

“‘Cause he’s a fucking–”

“Just leave it, Billy,” Steve said, finally getting up.  The alcohol and fight had made his legs wobbly.  Billy turned to look at him, earring glinting in the light as it swung.  “It’s nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Tommy’s being a fucking douche, what’s new.” Billy snorted and Tommy surged forward again, pressed back into the counter with a hiss by Billy’s arm.  “Fuck this,” he said, giving Tommy the finger.  “I’m fucking leaving, alright?” He was so goddamn tired of this evening.

“It’s ‘cause I’m right, isn’t it,” Tommy sneered.  Steve just shook his head and pushed through the crowd, ignoring the way everyone stared at him.

“Right about what?” He heard Billy ask.  And Steve froze a little, because Tommy running his mouth to Steve was one thing, but running it to Billy?  It wasn’t like Billy didn’t know, obviously, but he didn’t want to have to hear this.  Have to hear Billy tearing him down because kissing for a joke was one thing, but someone actually being gay?  That wasn’t going to fly, even if Billy tried to play it off.  Steve looked back and wished he hadn’t because Tommy looked fucking gleeful.  Like Steve had given him a fucking present.

“That Steve wants to suck your dick,” he said conversationally.  The room quieted and Steve heard the feet of the people next to him shuffling away.  Felt the panic creeping up on him.  Felt like he was definitely going to throw up.  Billy took a step back from Tommy, not expecting that to come out of his mouth.  Steve just shook his head and let out a shaky laugh.

“You’re delusional, Hagan.  No need to project your feelings onto me.” He was glad his voice didn’t waver.  Tommy snarled and jerked forward to go at Steve again, but Carol’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Fuck you,” he seethed, arms trembling from holding himself back.  “You disgusting fucking faggot.” Steve didn’t let his reaction show, just stared Tommy down, wishing he hadn’t come to this stupid fucking party.  Billy was just staring, eyes wide, like he didn’t know how to proceed.  How to say anything to Tommy that didn’t incriminate them both.  And Steve– Steve suddenly didn’t care.  They had just over 2 months of school left and it wasn’t like Steve cared about any of these people.  They’d dropped him the minute he wasn’t in and had only accepted him back because Billy willed it.

“And what if I am,” he said, surprised at how even his voice was.  He could hear the ripple through the crowd, could see the way Billy tensed up.  “What if I am a fucking faggot?” He walked towards Tommy, who seemed surprised at Steve’s sudden turn.  “At least I’m not a fucking piece of shit like you.  At least I don’t suck dick and kiss ass for power in a fucking high school.” Tommy went red, baring his teeth.  Steve sneered.  “At least I’m not a fucking coward.” Tommy swung again, but this time Steve was ready.  Knew it was coming.  So he used Tommy’s weight to pull on his arm and flip him over onto the ground.  He slammed into the cupboards under the counter and some cups of unfinished punch tipped over and dripped down on him.  Steve turned and high tailed it without stopping to look at Billy.  Wasn’t sure he could.  People parted like the red sea for him, eyes wide.

When he finally got to his car, Steve’s hands were shaking.  He fumbled with his keys, panic starting to set in.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he hissed, throwing his keys to the ground.  He pressed the meat of his palms to his eyes until he saw stars, trying to will away the tears threatening to leak out.  What a fucking shit show.  He took a few shaky breaths before crouching, turning to lean his back against his car.  “I’m such a fucking idiot…” After a few calming breaths Steve grabbed his keys from the asphalt, got in his car, and drove away.  He wished Billy had followed him out.  He wished a lot of things.

Steve didn’t bother to take off his shoes when he got home, heading straight for his father’s study.  His whiskey was off limits, but Steve didn’t give a shit anymore.  Wanted to fucking blackout and forget the night ever happened.  Forget the cold shoulder he’d certainly be getting come Monday morning.  He didn’t bother with a glass, just drank straight out of the decanter as he went to the living room, collapsing onto the couch.  The whiskey burned in the right way and Steve reveled in the feeling as he wallowed.

“Good going, Stevie,” he mumbled to himself.  “Ruin the one good thing you had going for ya.” He took another gulp of whiskey, already starting to feel more pleasantly warm again.  “Just, just had to prove a point… Just had to get one over Tommy.” He blinked through the tears that had started to fall.  “Had to prove a point.” He curled in on himself, whimpering.  “You fucking dumbass.” The decanter slipped from his fingers and thudded to the floor, the whiskey dribbling out.  Steve didn’t move to pick it up or clean it.  Just sat there, curled in on himself, until he fell asleep.

He woke up to something banging on the glass doors of the living room.  Everything was blurry with sleep and he groaned as he sat up.  It was still dark out, so it couldn’t have been long.  He rubbed at his eyes and turned to look, jumping when he saw the shadowy figure.

“Harrington!” Steve tensed up at Billy’s voice.  Found he wanted to get up but couldn’t move.  “Harrington for fuck’s sake, lemme in!” Steve got up and stumbled to the back door, fumbling with the lock.  Billy ripped it open the moment he could and he surged forward.  Steve flailed and moved backwards, running into the coffee table and falling on his ass with a thud.  He looked up at Billy, eyes wide with panic, and felt his lungs starting to get tight.  Billy looked down at him, his face unreadable.  Or Steve was just really, really fucking drunk.  Probably both.  Neither of them spoke, the only sound in the room Steve’s quick breathing.

“W-What do you want, Hargrove,” Steve said, unable to take the waiting.  Figured he’d prompt the fight that was bound to happen, since they’d talked a lot about secrecy and how Neil couldn’t know.  Billy’s jaw twitched.

“What the fuck was that?” Steve swallowed and looked away.

“I know,” Steve whispered.  “He was just– He fucking– Fuck!” Steve buried his face in his hands again.  “Tommy just gets under my fucking skin and he figured it out anyway and I just– I’m so tired of hanging out with people who pretend to give a shit only when it benefits them.  I’m tired of pretending like I care about any of this, this bullshit.  I just–” He deflated a little, hands still covering his face.  “I’m sorry,” he whimpered.  “I’m sorry.” Steve jerked when he felt a hand on his shoulder, pushing himself back along the coffee table.  He hyperventilated, panic seizing him, and when he looked at Billy, he seemed shocked.

“I–” Billy stammered, thrown.  “I’m not gonna hurt you.” Steve swallowed with difficulty and let Billy touch his shoulder again.  The blonde’s brow furrowed and he crouched so he was eye level with Steve.  “What did he even say to you?”

“Why?” Steve asked.  “Why does it matter? ��We can’t– I mean– Why are you here?” Billy licked his lips and looked down nervously.  He bit his lip, weighing his options as Steve watched him, wary.

“It’s– I’m–” He let out a harsh breath through his nose.  “I was worried,” he mumbled.  Steve blinked.

“What.” Billy blushed and grit his teeth, still looking away.

“I was worried.  Because you were fucking drunk and still drove home.” He licked his lips again and looked at Steve.

“So… You’re not here to fight me?” Billy let out a strangled sound and ducked his head.

“Oh my god,” he muttered under his breath.  “No, I’m not here to fight you.”

“But aren’t you mad?  I mean, I fucked everything up.” Billy watched, face carefully blank.  “And honestly I– I can’t do this.” Billy’s face crumpled and he stood.

“Oh.” Steve could see his hands clenching and unclenching.  “I guess I’ll just leave then.” He moved for the door and Steve’s still very drunk brain worked in overdrive to figure out what the fuck was happening.

“Wait, Billy–” He stood and the room started to spin, making him trip himself up and he fell to the floor with a hard thump.  He groaned and wished that he could wake up from whatever fucking nightmare the world had cursed him with.  Calloused hands gripped his arms and hauled him up, Billy’s frowning face suddenly right in front of his.  Steve couldn’t help himself.  He kissed him.  When Billy pulled back Steve winced.  “Sorry, I know you don’t want me to–”

“What?” Billy furrowed his brow.  “What do you mean I don’t want you to?”

“‘Cause I outed myself.  So you don’t wanna see me anymore.  ‘Cause your dad’s a dillhole.” Billy’s mouth opened slightly and he blinked away his confusion before ducking his head again.

“Oh my god, I’m a fucking idiot, of course you–” He sighed and looked up, shaking his head as he hauled Steve to his feet.  “Come on, pretty boy,” he grunted as he heaved all of Steve’s weight up and onto the couch.  Steve let him, turning his head to press a kiss to Billy’s hand when he pulled away.  He made a face.

“Sorry, I just–”

“Stop apologizing.” Steve snapped his mouth shut and looked away.  Then Billy was turning his head back, making him look him in the eye.  Steve felt his heart speed up.  Billy’s gaze was intense and searching.  “What did Hagan say to you?”

“He just– He just implied some shit about me sucking your dick that’s it.” Steve licked his lips.

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m just not telling you everything.”

“That’s lying by omission, baby,” Billy replied with a fond smirk.  Steve let out a heartfelt sigh, unable to stop himself.

“I love it when you call me pet names,” he mumbled into Billy’s palm.  He could feel that his face was flushed, but whether it was because of what he admitted or the alcohol, he wasn’t sure.  When he looked at Billy from under his lashes, his ears were pink and there was a flush spreading down his neck.

“Yeah?” He whispered.  Steve nodded and looked away again.

“Tommy–  Tommy knows a lot about me,” he said, voice soft.  “Fuck, he was my first kiss, not that he’d ever admit it.” Steve could feel the way Billy tensed and he smiled a little to himself.  “So he knows when I’m in love.  Knows what it looks like.” There was a sharp intake of breath from Billy, but Steve couldn’t look.  He couldn’t.  “He said that I look at you like I looked at Nancy.  That’s how he knew.” Billy was quiet except for some ragged breathing, but he hadn’t pulled away.  Steve turned to look and, oh.  Billy was staring at him, eyes dragging slowly over his face.  Face flushed and mouth slightly open as his thumb made small circles on Steve’s cheek.

“You look at me like you looked at Wheeler?” His voice was hushed, full of wonder.  Steve’s breath hitched and his eyes darted to Billy’s lips.  He nodded dumbly.

“I can’t do this,” he said, speaking quickly so Billy wouldn’t run, “Because if you hated me, if you didn’t want this as much as I do, I– I couldn’t– I can’t pretend like I don’t love you.” Billy kissed him then, soft and sweet and nothing like the kisses they usually shared.  He pulled back enough so he could speak.

“We’re gonna figure this out, okay?  But it’s not gonna be easy– If my dad–”

“I’ve got a bat with nails in it and I’m friends with the police chief,” Steve said, bratty and so full of emotion he wasn’t sure what to do with it all.  “I’d like to see him try.” Billy smiled against his lips.

“And Hagan?”

“Tommy’s never scared me.” He paused.  “Carol scares me though.”

“Yeah, she was out for your balls after you left,” Billy chuckled.  His face dropped a little and he pulled back.  “I couldn’t– I didn’t know what to say after–”

“Honestly,” Steve mumbled into Billy’s palm, which still hadn’t left his face, “I don’t give a shit.  And I’m too drunk to care about it right now.” Billy’s smiling lips pressed against his again.  “Also, I don’t think I can get upstairs,” he mumbled.

“Lucky for us you’re a rich bitch who has a huge couch.” Steve snorted but his eyes were closing.

“Get up here and fucking cuddle me, you dickhead.” He fell asleep to the sound of Billy’s laughter.

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Between the Ink and Papers Ch. 1

Summary: Steve and Peggy have been divorced for a year and Sarah is still starting to find her groove in it. However, it becomes a lot easier when she and Typhanie realize it might be time for her dad to start dating again.

Pairings: tattooartist!dad!Steve x Reader, Typhanie x Sarah, Peggy x Logan, Bucky x Natasha

Word Count: 1731

Warnings: Cussing!

Between Ink and Paper Masterlist -- Masterlist to Other Works

Next Chapter

-.-.-.-

Fuck divorce!

The words stared at her, silently taunting, and reminding her that she can curse at it all she wants. Divorce is still a thing. Divorce will always be a part of her life. Shutting the journal, Sarah shoved it in her backpack. She didn’t know what else to add to the pages. So, that would have to be enough. The rule was that she had to write. She was never told how much.

And those two words summarized it perfectly.

“Sarah?”

She jumped out of her skin, knocking over her tea as her stepdad stepped into the kitchen. Logan. “Yeah?” She grabbed the paper towels as he reached for a dishrag.

“Sorry.” He grimaced as he handed her the mug. “Put that in the sink, would ya?” Sarah didn’t argue. She washed it out as he finished cleaning up the mess. The running water was a much needed distraction from the awkward silence in the room. Logan had been married to her mom for about a month and the two still didn’t really know how to act around each other.

Actually, that was a lie. Sarah knew very well. Logan just wasn’t getting the message.

“You’re taking the subway today, right?”

“Yeah.” Sarah grabbed her mom’s wallet off the counter, snagging a couple bills for lunch. “See you next week.” The words were short like most of their conversations. Before he had a chance to say anything, Sarah was shouting a bye to her mother, out the door with her backpack in hand.

Logan huffed, tossing the paper towels into the trash as Peggy came downstairs. She was putting in her second earring, looking around. “Did Sarah leave already?”

“What do you expect? It’s his week.”

Peggy noticed the defeated slump in his shoulders. Logan was trying. He really was. And he cared about Sarah. It was that fact that made Peggy fall for him so hard. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she placed a small kiss on the back of his shoulder. “She’s stubborn, love. Gets that from both her parents, I’m afraid.”

Logan smiled softly, gently squeezing the hands interlaced on his abdomen. “I know. She spoke to me today. Six words this time.”

Peggy’s frustrated groan was followed by a pained laugh. “I promise. Just give it time.”

-.-.-

I know I’ve got a tendency To exaggerate what I’m seeing And I know that it’s unfair on me To make a memory Out of a feeling

“Earth to Sarah, please.”

She blinked, finally acknowledging the hand waving in her face. Sarah yanked an earbud out of her ear as Typhanie took the empty seat across from her. “Sorry.”

“Nah, I know when you get in one of those hate-the-world, emo girl moods,” Typhanie teased. She reached across the table and snagged a couple fries before Sarah could swat her hand away.

“Get your own.”

“Nope.” Typhanie smirked as she took a bite. “So much more fun to steal and see you get all frustrated.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her burger. “You suck.”

“Actually no. That’s why I don’t date boys.”

Sarah coughed, choking on her food as Typhanie grinned from ear to ear. “Not – Not cool,” she wheezed out, grabbing her water and taking a much needed sip.

“My bad, but I had to kill the sourpuss face. It was getting kinda boring to look at.” Sarah scoffed, pushing the plate towards Typhanie and letting her finish it off. “Seriously, what’s going on?” She grabbed the burger, taking a bite. “Normally a joke like that makes you laugh.”

“Just ready to be back at my dad’s.”

Typhanie’s nose scrunched. She recalled the wedding and how uncomfortable Sarah had been when Peggy had asked her to be her maid of honor. Sarah hadn’t exactly warmed up to Logan yet and there she was, playing such an important role. “That where we’re going after school?”

“Yup. I have a meeting with Ms. Y/L/N after school, but then we’re helping Uncle Buck with the shop.”

“My favorite after school activity.”

“Should I be jealous of the crush you have on my aunt?”

Typhanie giggled. Before she could provide some witty retort, the bell rang. Lunch was over. “Guess you’ll never know.” She threw the food away as Sarah grabbed their bags. The looming building was enough to make Sarah wish school would end already.

But she always wished that. Taking Typhanie’s hand in hers, she pouted and asked, “How much longer till we graduate?”

“570. Then we have college…”

Sarah groaned. “I’ll never survive.”

“Probably not.” Typhanie smirked and took that second earbud, handing it to Sarah. She knew the blonde so well. Immediately, the earbud was back in place – music drowning out the irritation that came from squeaking sneakers and gossiping teenagers.

So I keep sayin’ I hate everybody But maybe I – maybe I don’t

-.-.-.-

“Fuck divorce, huh?”

Y/N looked up from the two words on the page. She was smiling at Sarah, reminding her that there was no judgement here. Being the high school counselor, she was used to talking to students about anything they needed. And Sarah was always one of her favorite people to talk to. She was open with her opinions and Y/N found her so high spirited and passionate.

She just needed to focus. She needed someone to guide her.

“So I’m guessing this means there’s been no headway with the stepdad.”

Sarah shrugged. “He’s trying too much. It’s…weird. I already have a dad and I didn’t ask my mom to bring some stranger into my life.”

“I thought last time we talked you agreed that your mom deserved to be happy.”

“She does!” Sarah huffed, biting the corner of her lip as she looked away. She always liked Y/N’s office. It was calm and relaxing. Notes were everywhere – mostly so Y/N didn’t forget anything – and there was a number of plants that Sarah could focus on when she needed to find the right words. The right emotions. “I – I don’t want him in my life. I don’t need a stepdad. I want to be with my dad. He’s great! And he takes care of me!”

“So does your mother.”

“But it’s different.”

Y/N sighed. She understood. Nothing about divorce was ever easy. Especially when you were the kid in the middle. She remembered a year ago, when everything was first happening. Sarah had fully believed that they would stop fighting and fix things. It was classic. So when Logan came in, she retaliated. Hard. And no headway was being made in that aspect of Sarah’s life.

“You spend the next week with your dad, right?”

“Think you could talk to him about what you’re feeling? You’ve always talked about this honest and open relationship you two have. Getting his input might help you gain some perspective.”

Sarah grumbled, a low whine coming from somewhere in her throat. It made Y/N laugh. “Do I have to?”

“You agreed that as long as we continued these sessions, you would do the homework I gave. This is it.”

“Alright, Doc. Communication with the old man. Sounds…fun.”

Y/N closed the journal, holding it out to Sarah. However, before she could grab it, Y/N added, “Maybe also try writing more than two words, hm? I get that there are days when that motivation just isn’t there, but I need you to try.”

Sarah glanced at the book before meeting Y/N’s gaze. “Okay, then can I ask what you expect?”

“Two sentences at least.”

Sarah didn’t say anything, snatching the book out of her hand and shoving it in her backpack. “Alright. Two sentences.”

Sarah got up and moved to the door, pausing when Y/N called her name. She looked over her shoulder, confused as to what else Y/N could possibly have to say. “I consider three words a sentence. So really, if you think about it, that’s no more than six. And if someone is smart enough to sum up their feelings in six words, they’re smart enough to figure out having a stepparent.”

“God, you’re corny.”

Sarah left, closing the door behind her as Y/N rose to her feet. Finding her planner on her desk, she scratched out Sarah’s name before digging her phone out of her purse. Tonight was ladies night. That meant a quick trip home to change clothes then she could meet up with the girls.

No sooner had the thought left Y/N’s mind than her phone started buzzing. She glanced at the screen, grinning when she saw Carol’s face staring back at her. “Sorry, you’ve reached Y/N’s voicemail,” she answered.

“Nice try. You don’t know how to set that up.”

Y/N chuckled. “Look, I just wrapped up on my last student. Let me get out of the suit and I’m happy to join you guys.”

“Well, there’s been a chance of plans. It’s not dinner and a movie.”

Y/N frowned, slipping her bag over her shoulder and locking up. “Okay. What’s the new plan?”

“Drinks at Sanctum Sanctorum and then Wanda and Val wanted to cash in that promise of getting tattoos.”

Y/N winced. She had wanted a tattoo for so long, but the idea of a needle piercing her skin was enough to make her want to pass out then and there. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“Not if we have anything to say about it. Look, they did all the research and the place looks awesome. It’s not creepy or dark or anything like that. It’s even got a cute name.”

Carol was trying so hard to sell it and Y/N had to give her credit. She was succeeding. Big time. “Jeez, you could sell ice to an Eskimo.” Shifting her phone to her other shoulder, she asked, “What’s the name of the place?”

“It’s so cute! Y/N, there’s no way you can think this place is intimidating. I swear!”

“Carol, just tell me!”

“Howlies Ink.”

Wow. That really was cute. Was Carol sure she got the name right?

“Before you ask, yes, that is the name. Double checked after Wanda told me.”

Y/N snorted. “Alright. Sanctum Sanctorum and Howlies Ink. I’m in.”

She could already hear the squealing on the other end of the phone. It sounded like Carol was declaring she was in. There was no backing out now. This was going to be a hell of a night.

-.-.-.-.-

Tag List:

@fullofmultitudesfullofshit

@abundanceofcarolines

@patzammit​

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

Okay, so I woke up at 7:45 this morning, so I was not coherent enough to do my normal WandaVision livewatch for today's episode, BUUUT I will speak my mind now!!

Spoilers under the cut (duh):

The title of the episode itself was huge foreshadowing - "On A Very Special Episode" is what sitcoms back then referred to when they were doing episodes that dealt with heavy topics, thus the "very special" part

It's not only a nice tribute to the old sitcoms of the day, it's - again - blatantly foreshadowing what's gonna happen in the ending

But now, onto the episode:

So I had to rewatch the beginning, but now I definitely noticed how Wanda's voice was more down when she said the "previously on" bit. Extremely clever.

Vision is becoming more and more awaaaare

I know people still make out Agnes to be the big villain of it all, but she's either a really fucking good actor, or she's not entirely acting.

This entire episode was mostly me feeling bad for Vision :'(

That entire opening was so adorable, and I think that opening song's my most favorite one of the series

Though please don't make me see Baby Vision ever again, please and thank you

Wonder how Elizabeth felt -

Love the nice transitions between scenes of "WandaVision" and the world outside of Westview

I don't even notice the screen ratios, it's so smooth!

Darcy finally has her coffee :D

The trio of Monica, Darcy and Jimmy is not something I predicted, but now I love it

There was a quick clip of crying Wanda - doesn't look like foreshadowing though, cause there was a nice house in the background, a modern one - a flashback maybe?

They FINALLY confirm her powers and age!! I mean, it still causes major continuity issues with her MCU story, but hooray for something!!

Hayward is definitely suspicious (wow, how shocking -_-), but at least the trio are noticing it

I had my suspicions there was beef between Monica and Carol, but I didn't want them to be true

Homophobia

I saw this one blog who's a fan of Monica/Wanda, and same (I'm a dumb sapphic bitch, what did you expect)

So back to Vision

All the men reading the email was creepy

"Norm" saying it's just a joke was creepy

Him snapped out of it and yelling about "her" being in her mind was mega creepy

Also the actor did a fantastic job, just snapping between personalities like that

THAT LAGOS COMMERCIAL HONEY IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT

It really did make me smile seeing the trio still sticking up for Wanda, understanding how she's processing her grief and knowing she never had the proper therapy she needed

Fucking Wanda strutting out all badass, flinging back the broken drone

Also what the fuck was Hayward planning to do with Vision, cause fuck him

I don't like animal deaths or children deaths in general, so that did kinda get me

But I was mostly more confused by the twins - they seem to know more than what they should

Even Wanda said "what?" - she's at least not in control of them

Agnes still looking terrified, wondering if she'll do anything to her since she found Sparky

God, it was just so cool seeing the end credits while the scene was still going on - reminded me of Too Many Cooks in a way

Vision confirming for us that he has no memory of his life outside of Westview is so heartbreaking, Paul Bettany's really getting to show his chops now, turning this side robot character into a fleshed-out (no pun intended) personality

Also can Markiplier sue Marvel for taking his idea? (Go watch Wilford Motherlovin Warfstache if you don't understand - also go watch Markiplier if you haven't)

So I think we all, including me, joked about the mindfuckery of Evan Peters playing Pietro, but I don't think any of us thought it would actually come true

I'm pretty sure my brain was a mixture of the "potato flying through the ceiling" vine, the "YOU BETTER STAHP!" vine and the "BITCH WHAT THE FUCK" clip all at once

I really thought they were going for a "oh, this is the same Pietro, just similar in a different way, haha", but Darcy said they "recasted" him

Wanda was confused and a little freaked out the whole time

I know people are disappointed it's not Aaron-Taylor Johnson (I honestly didn't care if he played Pietro in this or not, sorry), but considering all of this, I believe this is intentional and will absolutely play a bigger role

Will he be revealed as Peter Maximoff? I don't think so (also I don't want him to be - way too confusing and we should leave the Fox X-Men to rest)

Is Wanda completely in control of Westview? I still don't think so, probably being manipulated by an outside force like Mephisto or maybe even Agnes (also it's such a red herring, everyone trying to insist she's the main villain)

Will the ending of WandaVision almost definitely tear my heart out? Absolutely (cause we know shit's gonna get fucked)

[funnyreclaimed]

Don’t know who wrote this...

Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa crapped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took Ten. Whole. Years. to rip up a speech, but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on social media became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18, or 19 ever could.

In March, stuff hit the fan👿. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust 💥, but then Italy 🇮🇹 shut its whole country down 🚷, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a 😱pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency 🆘was declared in US 🇺🇸 , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu 💁🏻‍♀️, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? 💡 I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks👨🏻, get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can 🙏🏼 appreciate teachers 👩‍🏫 for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen🤦🏻‍♀️ ), close down all of salons so you can’t get your 💇‍♂️ hair or your nails done💅 , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The 📉 DOW took a crap 💩 on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤔 (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year , 👍🏼Carol totally killed her husband⚰️ ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In 🌧 April, Bernie finally busted✌🏼 himself out of the presidential race 🏃 , but then NYC 🗽became the set of The Walking Dead 💀 and we learned that no one has face masks 😷, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our 🦁outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on 📦 box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like , 😱 NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released 🎥 videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s and no social distancing or masks but the police stayed calm and nobody got hurt or even arrested. 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and police violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃, people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other, but mostly wore their masks, unlike the AR-15 protesters. There were no AR-15s at these protests, mostly signs, violins, and some conveniently supplied pallets of bricks, however, the police did not stay calm and everyone got sprayed, tazed, sticked, gassed, or arrested.

Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggled to focus on more than one important thing. The nation's leaders seemed to focus on themselves🤷‍♀️.

A dead whale 🐋 was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest 🌳 after monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, science and common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a ✝️God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution). then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on social media is arguing 🤼‍♀️ that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Trump 👱🏻‍♂️decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court 🏛 to shut down ❌Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic 💁🏻‍♀️ , but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here comes July…. at this point we are over it , or maybe not as USAs cases of Corona-not-the-beer seriously spiked to a new level, while other countries managed to get the virus completely outside of their borders in time for high tea and told the US to stay in our own country. What’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point.

[captainmymarvel]

she’d never do that to me. / COLLEGE AU

pairing: nat x fem!reader

warnings: smut! (18+), light d/s, strap, light mommy kink, bisexual female reader w/ male hook up described. 

word count: 2k

it was three weeks ago since you downloaded tinder - something that you managed to avoid your first three years of college. the decision came about when you and your three roommates, wanda, natasha and carol, were each a bottle of wine deep into your weekly ‘thursdays are for the roommates’ nights. all three of them protested, knowing that deep down, you weren’t the tinder type. it was no secret how kinky you were, and by far had a sex drive that couldn’t quit - but nobody could see you as a one night stand - mostly because everyone (especially carol) knew you had a scattering of consistent friends with benefits and never just a one off hookup with a stranger. you liked being with someone you trusted, and you liked the feeling of being known and knowing you mattered to someone- even if it was just a friend. 

your roommates, were pretty much right. three weeks of swiping mindlessly, avoiding all of the ‘heys’ and ‘u up?’ messages from girls and guys alike. there was one guy, however, that you had been talking with since the first night. he wasn’t vulgar like the other guys, and he seemed really interested in you. he was funny. he listened and for the time being, your mind switched from the state of craving a hookup to maybe seeing a relationship with him. it was scary, but you knew you just had to trust your gut and jump in. so that’s what you did, in your tipsy haze of the nightly thursday roommate night, laying in your bed at 3am - you got a ‘you wanna come over and watch a movie? you pick!’ text from him? you jumped at the idea. 

he lived in the frat house next to your dorm, so the walk was almost instant. he met you at the door, and lead you into their chapter room. you’d only been to this frat house for some parties, so it was wild to see the busy house so empty - - in a room you were never allowed in.  it was only 30 minutes into the movie when your tongues were down each others throat, you were straddling his lap, and ten minutes later - you were sucking his dick, right there on the chapter room’s couch. that lasted a full hour and a half. anytime he’d get close, he’d grab you by your shoulders and make out with you. or, he’d rip your shirt and bra off and attach his lips to your breast in the most uncomfortable, unsexy suction cup motion - then tell you that “you can go back down whenever you’d like.” which, you did, because you just wanted to get this over with to have some fun of your own. 

all your demands went unanswered, “please, just... fucking spank me.” you demanded from your position, as he left what was best described as a tap to your clothed ass. try again. “harder!” you plead, this time it was only slightly harder, but really didn’t do anything for you. frustrated, and tired, feeling like your jaw was going to combust, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. you had to make this somewhat better until you got ANYTHING in return. you began to imagine natasha - - why natasha? you had never fucked her before, nor have you ever really thought about it, but in this moment, the idea of this member, being nat’s strap -- filled your lace thong with more arousal than any other point of the night. you were so lost in your fantasy that you didn’t even knew he was coming until it was too late. god, you hated when guys finished in your mouth - - spitting the fluid to the floor. you got up from your position, beginning to remove your skin tight leggings from your body - - desperate at this point to reach some sort of pleasure. . . but he rose to his feet too and pulled up his pants. 

“god, y/n. you really tapped me out. lets go snuggle?” he spoke, as you stood there, naked from the waist up, mouth ajar at his words. 

“you’re done?”

“yeah, dude. i’m wiped. c’mon, lets go to bed.”

“but- - i didn’t even? are you fucking kidding me?”

“oh, you wanted to ...?”

“yes, i wanted to? what did you think?” you spoke, rightfully pissed off. as you started fumbling to get your bra and shirt on. you were so worked up, you had left your shirt behind and just threw on your sweatshirt. 

“let me at least walk you home?” he spoke through a yawn. 

“nah, it’s cool. you’re wiped, right?” you left without another word, slamming the frat house door shut and walking home with all your sexual frustrations taking over your body. you couldn’t get home to relieve yourself fast enough, not even worrying about waking wanda, carol and nat as you got home and slammed the apartment style dorm’s door, and then your own. 

it didn’t take long until you were laying in bed, with your hand down your pants, not even taking the time to remove your clothes - attacking your already desperate clit. you just needed to feel something in the moment, mind wandering back to natasha: knowing the redhead would never do to you what the tinder frat guy did. you needed more, throwing your pants across the room, you continued to work under your lace thong - reaching for your bullet that you kept in your bedside table, pressing it full blast against your clit while slipping your fingers in and out of yourself - dreaming deep of how much you craved for that to be nat giving you that pleasure. 

your dreams had manifested themselves, as you were snapped from your drowning feeling of desire as a familiar redhead’s voice rang out to the break the white-noised silence of your muffled moans and the vibration of your toy, “loverboy let you down, huh, baby?” her voice soft, leaving you on the bed, frozen in your actions - you just let out a small, almost frail ‘mhmm..’ she tsked, shaking her head. “i’d tell you i told you so, but something here tells me, you don’t want to hear it.” green eyes zone into you, as you just stay there like a deer in the headlights, “so instead of doing that, i can show you just how right i was. how does that sound?” you nodded frantically, the vibe working your sensitive bundle of nerves was already getting you pathetically close. 

your lack of words made natasha raise a brow, and cross her arms over her chest, “i guess not, then. since you seem to be having enough fun on your own,” she turned and went to leave the room. 

“natasha, wait! please!”

she didn’t listen, and you heard the door close behind her. little did you know, she did listen, she was just getting ready, sneaking a strap under her grey sweatpants. she came back to the room only minutes after. “what’d you say?”

“i want you, please, please fuck me? you - - you were right. i just want you to ... to show me.”

“say no more, baby.” she spoke, immediately moving to join you in the bed, moving her hand down to remove the vibrator and lightly smack your hand to have you remove your fingers from inside yourself. she began tracing soft, slow circles on your clit. “tell me, kitten, what happened? give me full details, please.” and so, you did, all of it. even to the point where you explained how you fantasized about her. as you complied, with every word out of your mouth she began giving in more and more to her stroking. adding more and more pressure with each circle she rubbed. she thought as she pulled away, taking your hand in hers, “lets go to the living room.” she spoke, and you obliged - knowing exactly where this was going. 

from there, natasha took full control, skipping over the movie and getting right to the point, pulling you onto her lap, hungrily and soulfully kissing you, as your lips crashed, you desperately grinded against her, catching the feeling of her strap pressing against your thong covered heat. you let out a surprised moan, and nat let out a deep, lustful chuckle, “you ready to take mommy’s cock, babygirl?” 

you nodded, eyes widening as she pulled down her waist band, the large strap flopping its way out. “it’s so much bigger than his was, mommy.” you purred, a devilish smirk lining your features, as you slipped down to get on your knees and you took as much of nat’s cock as you could, bobbing back and forth and making a show of it as your innocent filled eyes stared up at her. she took the opportunity to pull at your ponytail as you worked, and made sure to place hard enough spanks to your ass, ones that left you moaning in pleasure against the strap. 

“that’s my good little kitten. taking all of mommy, hm?” she purred in delight before pulling you back up, just as the frat boy had done, but instead, she removed your soaked through panties, then your sweatshirt, and then your bra - - before gasping in horror at the awful hickeys left on your breast, they made one big one, covering your entire left breast - - “i’m sorry, but -- baby, did you hook up with a leaf blower sized vacuum?” she tried to joke, shaking her head as her lips attached to your right nipple. nipping softly before twirling her tongue around the sensitive bud, while her fingers trailed down to collect your wetness, bringing her fingers to her lips, licking off the juices. “you taste so good, babygirl.” she praised, lining her cock up against your folds, before penetrating slowly, softly fucking up into you as you rode against the slick silicone. her plump lips met yours again with the same hunger, mostly to suppress your moans to not wake carol and wanda - as if they’d care too much, you’ve hooked up with both of them before. 

nat’s lips trailed from your lips, to place proper hickeys down your neck, as your head fell in the crook of her neck moaning into it and your hands roamed under her shirt as your nails clawed at her back. you were pretty close to finishing, but then you changed positions, with nat bending you over the arm of the couch as she absolutely railed you from behind,  one hand pulling on your ponytail as the other placed harsh spanks to your ass, leaving stinging red marks. this drove you wild, and there was no hiding your moans anymore, consider it wanda and carol’s alarm clock. “i’m - - i’m gonna come, mommy!”

“come for me, baby. you deserve it, my good girl.”

and that was all you needed. 

you took a few seconds to recover, chest heaving as you fell face down on the couch, completely blissed out. when you lived out your orgasm, you tugged at the harness, trying to remove it to reciprocate to nat, but she shook her head. 

“no, baby. i’m wiped. lets just go shower, kitten. we’ve got two hours until class.”

you protested a bit, explaining how you didn’t want to be like him, but she explained how she just wanted to make you feel good - and you couldn’t be mad at that. 

so, you took her hand in yours, and slipped off to the suite bathroom. 

you were right. she would never do to you what the tinder frat guy did.

[thebreakfastgenie]

8-12

8.  scene you watch over and over again

Toby finding Josh in In the Shadow of Two Gunmen. I watch it so much. So many times. It makes me scream. I’m always looking for more details. I like to rewatch that whole sequence and the flashbacks from Noel (which is reused footage that was cut from Two Gunmen) to try to piece together exactly what was going on. 

9. plot you pretend didn’t happen

Basically everything Toby did after season 5, but especially the shuttle leak. Just did not happen. I tend to ignore other things, like the Gaza arc, but I don’t pretend they didn’t happen. This one I just Do Not Perceive. 

10. something you wish had happened

This is bordering on an answer to the next question, because there are Implications in Evidence of Things Not Seen, but Josh had a whole thing happen in a room full of members of Congress during Noel, people must have seen something, people must have been talking about it, and I would kill to see that episode. I would settle for a subplot where a Republican says something extremely insensitive and clearly deliberate during a meeting and Sam is ready to throw down and Josh insists it’s fine and they need to finish the meeting. 

11. something that happened offscreen that you wish they had shown

The rest of the cast finding out about the MS. I know it gets repetitive, but they’re all different people and they would all react in their own way and I want to see it so bad. It’s implied the president told Josh and Sam himself but CJ says Leo told her which is... interesting, and frustrating, but I just Would Like To See It. Also Toby doing the “I’ll be here in my office when you’re done” when Josh is told because I want more Josh and Toby content at all times. 

12. headcannon(s)

One of my all time favorites is Josh and Jed making increasingly dark jokes about being shot and everyone getting more uncomfortable each time and just not being able to do anything about it. 

I have this whole elaborate headcanon about Josh and a student council campaign when he was in middle school but we don’t really have room for that here! If anyone actually wants it it can be its own post

Josh is the best man at Charlie and Zoey’s wedding

Margaret, Carol, and Ginger are all lesbians. Maybe Ginger is bi, but she mostly dates women.

CJ was the first person on the campaign Josh told about his sister, Sam might have known from before

Sam worked in local politics in California for a few years before going back to practicing law and then being dragged back into the White House Sorry these are so Josh-centric I can’t remember the ones I have for anyone else right now and I’m waiting for cakes to cool. I’ll add more if I think of them. 

[susanwardmegsunsetbeachfans]

Sunrise, Sunset

A Behind The Scenes Look At Sunset Beach

Soap Opera Weekly Magazine, 1998

There is a friendly feeling that permeates the Sunset Beach set, one that makes you feel at ease the moment you enter the NBC studio in Burbank,Calif.

"Sunset Beach" is one of the happiest sets I've ever worked on," Gordon Thompson (A.J.) concurs. "It's wonderful being back at the same studio with the same show initials, same dressing room, same crew for the most part (Thompson played Santa Barbara's Mason Capwell). The show itself has a wonderfully optimistic quality. So much so I think of it as The Little Engine that Could."

It's about 10 a.m., as the show's publicist, Jonathan Zaleski, guides this SOAP OPERA WEEKLY reporter through the hallways leading to the soundstage. A man in a hurry, Clive Robertson (Ben/ex-Derek Evans), with script in hand, sprints toward us heading to the set. "Hello," he says with a smile. Is he a good twin or a bad twin at the moment? "I'm not sure!" he jokes.

In the directors' team office, Barbara Roche, who shares stage manager duties with Shannon Mason, is hard at work. Roche arrived at the studio at about 6:15 on this particular day. "Shannon and I take turns with the early morning shift," Roche says. "We have to be in prior to the first makeup call. There are dressing rooms to be opened, prep work for that day's scripts, marking cues and checking things."

Around 7:30, the director (today it's Peter Brinckerhoff) "walks the stage" with the stage manager and members of other key departments. Dry blocking (when the specific camera moves for the actors are set) begins at 8.

"The stage managers share the day, relieving each other at certain points," Roche explains. "There are some scenes we can do on our own. That way, we're leapfrogging each other all day. If it's a scene at the disco or the hospital involving a lot of people, then we'll both probably be on the floor."

Tomorrow is a location day at Seal Beach, which doubles for Sunset Beach. "Because this show does so many remotes, we shoot simultaneously here in the studio," Roche adds. "Shannon will be down at the beach with another stage manager, and I'll be here with another person to work with me."

Stopping off in the hair and makeup department, I chat with head makeup artist Gail Katz, who's already been on the job for several hours. "We generally lose our actors between 8 and 9, so we pretty much have to have them ready by 8. Once they start dry blocking, the director has the option of keeping them there on the stage until they're set to tape at 9."

Sherri Saum (Vanessa) was the first customer of the day, which meant applying those hideous Martin's Syndrome lesions over half of her face as well as her arm. "Yeah, you missed 'lumpy-bumpy,' as we affectionately call her," Katz says with a laugh. "We had an early morning call - 6:45 - for Sherri to be camera-ready, including dry blocking. We had to schedule in that extra 45 minutes for the bumps - in additional to her regular makeup and hair - to give us some lead time."

Katz credits Academy Award-winning special effects artist Matthew Mungle with sculpting the actual prosthetics used to create the Martin's Syndrome look for Vanessa and her mother, Lena. "He's a fabulous artist, absolutely brilliant," she raves, "and a delightful man to work with."

Later, Saum tells us how it feels to be in that chair while the "bumps" are being applied to her face. "Usually, I try not to look in the mirror," she says. "But it's getting so commonplace, because I have to deal with it, every single day that I'm here. I try not to concentrate on it, though. I just like the time to go as quickly as possible."

What are the challenges this particular day for hairstylist Kimberly Spiteri? "Being interviewed," she teases. Spiteri's daily duties include "every-thing from cutting to coloring. We take care of all our actors' hair-care services. For us, it works out much better, because that way we can keep track of the continuity of their hair, as opposed to having them go out to a salon and coming back with something that might not be right for what we're working on at the time."

Most of the women spend about 45 minutes in Spiteri's chair. Sam Behrens (Gregory), though, doesn't even bother sitting down. "He actually takes care of his own hair," she notes. "He comes in and we hand him a brush and the products he likes right now - one is Bumble & Bumble Styling Creme, the other is a vanilla-scented hair spray by Cinema Secrets."

While Spiteri combs out the tresses of Cristi Ellen Harris (Emily), the young actress tells us she's a good friend of Richard Biggs (ex-Marcus Hunter, Days of Our Lives), whom she met while he was teaching acting classes. "He always told me that the one thing I needed was to get a soap," she says, "that it was the best training anybody could ever have." Did she call Biggs and tell him she got the job on Sunset? "The same day," she says. "He told me to be honest, be real, just do the work and have fun with it."

"My favorite part of the day is hair and makeup, because I love having my hair and face worked on," Shawn Batten (Sara) shares. "It relaxes me. I could sit there all day long!"

Batten had an 8 a.m. fitting with Sunset's costume designer Chic Gennarelli. "We're doing a change of look for Sara," he explains. "It's her character's transition from Washington to Sunset Beach, so the new emphasis will be on casual outfits."

According to Gennarelli, the show's costumes need to be "very colorful, sexy, featuring a lot of bareness. It's an Aaron Spelling show combined with a place called Sunset Beach, where the sun always shines and it never gets cold. We're doing a lot of beachy stuff now that El Nino's over and the warm weather is here."

Polaroids are taken of the 10 outfits Batten tries on and then presented to supervising producer Lisa Hesser in her second-floor office. "Out of those 10, we picked two because of the color considerations," Gennarelli says. "You have to look at what the other characters are wearing as well as the set decorations. So Lisa made a decision as to which outfits she liked best. Then I accessorize them for today's show and put Shawn into hair and makeup. The other eight outfits will be utilized for future episodes."

In an upstairs office, David Levinson, assistant to the executive producer, tacks an SPW clipping of Kathleen Noone's (Bette) Applause, Applause to the show's bulletin board. In an inner office, John Fritz, who doubles as assistant to associate producer Debbie Bachtell-O'Sullivan and director of Sunset's fan club, finishes up the club's first newsletter (to be issued quarterly).

Back downstairs, we pay a visit to "the clubhouse" - the dressing room of on- and offscreen best buds Timothy Adams and Jason George (Casey and Michael). Their highly publicized wall collage (featuring everything from pictures of themselves to a photo of Raquel Welch) is growing in size, thanks to contributions from viewers - mostly women. "It's very cool," says George. "It's about time we sent out another call to the fans for pictures, because we intend to fill this entire wall."

It's nonstop banter between these two. "We screw around a lot on the set, but our focus is always there when taping begins," George says. "We can be in the middle of a laugh and when the countdown starts, we'll go right into the scene."

Earlier, Adams had been razzing George about his impromptu tap dance to Shuffle Off to Buffalo on the set. "Actually, I prefer when he does the number in his construction boots," Adams quips. "The aesthetics of that are just incomparable."

Out in the hall, John Martin and Carol Potter (Hank and Joan) are winding their way toward the stage. They certainly are youthful-looking parents of grown children. "My dad watches the show, and he called me and asked, 'How did you get two such beautiful daughters?'" Martin explains with a laugh. "I don't know, but I'm also tempted to ad-lib a line to the girls like 'kiss Daddy."

Taping is proceeding at a steady clip under Brinckerhoff's direction. "It looks like we'll wrap at 6:30, which is an ideal time for us," reports stage manager Roche. "We like to have about a 12-hour day in the house."

Just another day at the Beach.

[thelittlesttimelord]

I had so, so many questions for DW Universe question game. Sorry if I trouble you. Number 3, 6, 7, 9, 11, 17, 18, 21, 24, 28, 30, 31, 34, 36, 37, 40, 42, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 51, 53, 56, 61, 64, 68, 70, 72, 75, 77, 78, 79, 81, 84, 88, 91, 92, 94, 95, 96, 100.

Well, here we go!

3. First DW episode you ever saw? 

I can’t actually remember. I know I kept seeing pictures of “Let’s Kill Hitler” on Pinterest and memes from series 6, so I just started watching. I started with Nine, so I’m pretty sure the first one was “Rose”.

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child? 

THE FUCKING SCARECROWS from “Family of Blood/Human Nature”. I fucking hate those things. The mannequins from “Rose” and the Snowmen are a close second though.

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid? 

I didn’t really understand River’s story the first time around. I still don’t really, but it makes a bit more sense thanks to YouTube videos.

9. Who introduced you to DW? 

Like I said, I kept seeing things on Pinterest and started watching because of that.

11. Who is your Doctor? 

ELEVEN. But is anyone really surprised?

17. Best multi-Doctor story? 

50th Anniversary, but only because it’s the only one I’ve seen.

18. Best Doctor monologue? 

Shit. That’s a hard one. It’s a tie between Eleven’s final speech and Twelve’s angry one during the Zygone two-parter.

21. Favourite companion? 

Unlike most people, I really like Clara. I also love Bill. I wish she’d had more than one series.

24. Best TARDIS Team? 

Eleven, River, Amy, and Rory. I love their little space family.

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t? 

Oooo. I don’t know. So I’ll answer it this way, I would’ve liked to see some companions from RTD era meet Eleven.

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now? 

Twelve. I stopped watching Doctor Who when Eleven regenerated, because I didn’t like what I saw in “Deep Breath” clips. When I went back and rewatched, I slowly fell in love with him.

31. Favourite episode ever? 

The Doctor’s Wife. I love seeing Eleven and his TARDIS interact. So many good one liners!

34. Best two-parter? 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead. Mostly because of River and the Doctor’s interactions. It also hits a lot differently now that we know River’s whole story.

36. Episode that will always make you smile? 

Vincent and the Doctor. I struggle with depression and anxiety, so I connect a lot with the story. I also live by the quote about life being a pile of good things and bad things.

37. Episode that will always make you cry? 

It’s a toss up between Doomsday and The Time of the Doctor. Doomsday because of that final scene between Ten and Rose and Time of the Doctor because of Eleven’s regeneration.

40. Favourite Christmas special? 

A Christmas Carol. It’s so bittersweet and I love the song at the end. Although I also kinda like Last Christmas because Twelve is such a mood.

42. Favourite series? 

I really love series 4, because of the shit Donna and Ten get up to. They have the best dynamic out of the Doctor/Companion relationships.

45. Favourite series opening? 

Eleventh Hour. It’s a perfect opener for Eleven. It shows off his personality and how much he will come to care for Amy.

46. Favourite series finale? 

I really like The Pandorica Opens/Big Bang.

47. Best series arc? 

I have to say “Bad Wolf” because none of us saw that coming. It was subtle and it was really clever.

48. Thoughts on series 11/12? 

Looks okay. I haven’t really watched it. I’ve seen clips and Thirteen seems like a sweetheart and Graham is a straight up MOOD.

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen? 

Absolutely none. I’ve seen clips here and there in YouTube videos and I know some storylines, but other than that I know nothing.

51. Favourite monster/villain? 

Probably the Daleks. But only because they’re so stupid sometimes. Like in Victory of the Daleks...HOW THE FUCK IS A DALEK GONNA MAKE TEA?!?!?!

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Weeping Angels.

56. Monster you want to return? 

I’d love to see the Doctor face off with the Midnight entity. Maybe she’d handle it a bit differently...

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures? 

Torchwood. I’ve never seen it, but I feel like I’m too grown up for the Sarah Jane Adventures.

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

I think given the choice, I’d probably rewatch Miracle Day because I know what happens in Children of Earth and it breaks my heart(s).

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish? 

I want to read some of the comics, but they’re hard to find in physical form. I have read some of the novels and I listen to Big Finish. I will take my Doctor Who in whatever form I can get it.

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)? 

Oh yes. Those are my favorite kinds of videos.

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music? 

Either Eleven or Clara’s theme music. Eleven’s theme is so epic, while Clara’s is flighty and whimsical.

75. Favourite Doctor outfit? 

I’m a sucker for Eleven’s classic tweed and red bow-tie, but i also like Twelve’s look in series 9 (the old rocker look).

77. Best show runner? 

I feel like if I answer this, I’ll be shot so I’ll say each show runner has brought something different to the show (whether that be good or bad). They’ve left their mark in a unique way.

78. Best writer? 

Neil Gaiman, hands down. Or maybe Mark Gatiss. I love every one of their episodes.

79. Best opening titles?

Series 5. I hate the voiceover Amy has in series 6.

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor? 

Chicago in the 20′s. I’d wanna meet mobsters like Al Capone.

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with? 

Donna or Martha. I feel like we’d get along pretty well.

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet? 

Anne Boleyn. I admire her so much.

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW? 

Maybe the French Revolution. Don’t know why. I just think it’d be cool.

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW? 

Maybe more about sexuality. We have Jack, who is Pansexual and Bill, who is a lesbian. But they kinda just go “this is this character’s sexuality and that’s that.” I’d like to see them go into it a bit more and maybe have companions with different sexualities. Like maybe an Ace companion. Or have a Transgender companion. I guess just more diversity really.

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to? 

HOW DOES JACK BECOME THE FACE OF BOE. I need to know this before I die.

95.  Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor? 

Tom Hiddleston. Because if he kept his natural hair color, the Doctor would finally be ginger.

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

I’d like to see another American companion (besides Jack), but I’d never really thought about it.

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do? 

Well Gallifrey “stands” now right (disregarding what the Master did in series 12)? I’d like to see the Doctor go back to Gallifrey and maybe find his family. I’d like to see his Timelord wife and maybe his children because they’re not dead now. I really just want the Doctor to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?