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princessmadafu · 4 years ago

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37 bleedin’ pages!

I have condensed them for you and left out most of the bits that the nasty evil British Press have already covered. Feel free to skip any boring bits.

Dax Shepard: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert's Experts on Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

Monica Padman: Hi.

[...]

There follows some heavy marketing of towels and stuff...

DS: Now please enjoy Prince Harry. We are supported by Brookelinen. My favourite hotel quality sheets to get into and writhe around in the nude. [...] They're impeccable. They're decadent, they're soft, they're absorbent. Brookelinen was started to create beautiful high quality home essentials that don't cost an arm and a leg. They're so confident in their product, they come with a 365 day warranty. So give yourself that comfort refresh you deserve and get it for less. Go to Brookelinen.com and use promo code 'expert' to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com and enter promo code 'expert' for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com, promo code 'expert'.

Pretty ironic really, as Harry wades into fake news and how advertising algorithms are ruining us...

DS:...It's like the algorithms on the internet. You can't compete with that, a human.

PH: You can't if you have the awareness of what it's doing to you. And the fact that it's learning, which is scary. And advertising has been going on for hundreds of years, but done really responsibly. The difference here is targeted ads. If ads have always worked for companies, you can put on the TV, you can walk away, you can come back, your involvement is switching on switching off or changing the channel. Whereas now with algorithms is there, it's just feeding your habits. And it's also reading through your emails and everything else. So it's getting to know you, like, it gets to know the decisions you're gonna make before you make them, then it creates this echo chamber of no pushback, of no context of nothing. It's just perpetuating and feeding the bias and the habits that you already have inside of you, which is terrible.[...]

Harry needs to learn about AdBlock and Ghostery and VPNs and Tor and DuckDuckGo and Smartpage and all the other clever little ways the computer-literate have of ridding their lives of unwanted advertising. I haven't seen an ad in years. The only person feeding my habits is me. It’s called personal responsibility. Maybe Harry still needs a Nanny but most grown-ups don’t. Oh wait, I forgot, the “Meghan&Harry Show” fans are all kids.

PH: [...] It's a computer. It's like, who wrote the algorithms? You guys did? Probably all male and all white.

Oooh, let's be sexist and racist, Harry! Did you ever hear of these women or are they too scary?

https://biztechmagazine.com/article/2012/05/mothers-technology-10-women-who-invented-and-innovated-tech

Then they discuss Naked Vegas (this guy Dax has a thing about nudity) and Harry in Afghanistan. And discuss a calendar of naked men that DS and MP put together - their favourite male bodies. What a good job it's only gloating over naked male bodies and not naked female bodies. It's apparently acceptable, for some reason. Harry doesn't know who the guys are.

DS: Monica makes this for me every year and it's a calendar of all my favourite bodies of friends.

MP: And they're all men.

DS: They're all men.

MP: And they're all gorgeous bodies.

[...]

And is Harry nervous talking about mental health? He shouldn't be, he's been banging on about it for years.

PH: Yeah. Was I nervous? No. Not so much nervous. But I guess on this particular subject around mental health. Yeah. For me, it's always a, unfortunately, today's world is quite a sensitive subject, not just for the people who are sharing. But ultimately, the subject matter itself has to be handled with care. [...] It ends up getting weaponized by certain people.

Weaponised by certain people? Like him and Markle, for instance. Neither of 'em has any talent so they weaponise their mental health. Big big mental health bombs loaded with word salad to lob at their own families and cause huge distress. Not nice, Harry.

PH: That's how I've always felt when it comes to projection. I mean, hatred is a form of projection, right? [...] We're not born to hate people. So it manifests itself over a period of time. And of course, it can come from unresolved pain, or being hurt continually, as a young kid or through adult life. But ultimately, there's a source to it. There's a reason why you want to hate somebody else.

Like his dad, his brother...

PH: And actually have some compassion for them. Which is really hard when you're on the receiving end of this, like, just vile, toxic abuse. But the reality is, is you say, flip it. [...] Every single one of us wherever we are, wherever we come from, there will always try and find some way to be able to mask the actual feeling and be able to try and make us feel different to how we are actually feeling, perhaps having a feeling. Right, because so many people are just numb to it. That was a huge part of the beginning of my life, which was like, I rejected. I said, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

And now he's moved on to promoting his new mental health stuff with Oprah, The Me You Can't See...

PH: So if you are making that conscious decision to say: You know what, it's not self serving, but I want to share my story. I'm being asked to share my story to hopefully help someone or loads of other people. I'm probably going to get trolled. I'm probably going to get attacked by the same people that were doing anyway. If I'm willing to make that decision, surely that comes from a place of courage rather than weakness?

Or possibly naivety. Harry is only wanted for his money-making title and royal status; he has no mental health qualifications, he's not a mental health professional, he's not an expert, all he brings to the table is the glamour of being a prince of the BRF. Which he quite clearly hates. Markle is lining her pockets from their self-indulgent mental health whinge fest and he's too dim to see it. There follows the bit about the spectrum of upbringing that the press is covering nicely so I can skip the next few pages - the bits where Harry says he doesn't see that talking about his own issues is complaining, and “it's the job, right”, how he never wanted the job of being royal, and his therapy and how “massively self-critical” he is (yet still can't see that he's not being honest with himself), ooh and sharing his hatred of the British press - that's a good bit, let's skip to page 18:

PH I think the biggest issue for me was that being born into it, you inherit the risk, you inherit the risk that comes with it, you inherit every element of it without choice. And because of the way that the UK media are, they feel an ownership over you. Literally like a full on ownership. And then they give the impression to some of their, well, most of the readers, that that is the case. But I think it's a really dangerous place to be if you don't have a choice, but then, of course, then people quite rightly will turn around and go. So what if you didn't have a choice? It was privilege? [...] Page Six of the New York Post, they took pictures of my son being picked up from school on his first day [...] But I guess my point is the way that I look at it, especially now living here one hour outside LA. Like it's a feeding frenzy here. We spent the first three and a half months living at Tyler Perry's house. You let us stay. And the helicopter helicopters, the drones the paparazzi cutting the fence like it was madness. And people out there -Their response was, Well, what do you expect if you live in LA? It's like, Okay, well, first of all, we didn't mean to live in LA. This is like a staging area before we try and find a house. And secondly, how sad that if you live in LA and you're well known figure, you just have to accept it. The first security we had, I said, Well, where's the safest place? Inside. Just because I'm a well known person, you can't go outside anymore. [...] it's really, really sad. And of course, their argument is - the paparazzi and everybody else - is like all if you're in the public space, then it's absolutely fine for us to do it. So what is our human right as an individual and as a family, you're saying that if the moment we step foot out of our house, that it's open season and free game? What? Because of public interest?. There's no public interest in you taking your kids for a walk down the beach. Nothing...

And on and on it goes... He should've stayed in the UK then. The Cambridges are managing very nicely, thank you. They take their kids for walks on the beach, and we'd never seen them until they released their anniversary video the other week. Harry's clearly envious of William; Harry's mad wife is vitriolically envious of Catherine. Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s the mad wife who keeps phoning her go-to paps when she needs to be in the news again.

PH: [...] I believe we live in an age now where you've got certain elements of the media redefining to us what privacy means. There's a massive conflict of interest. And then you've got social media platforms, trying to redefine what free speech means. Why - I wonder why you're doing that. And again - so this has been happening for 15 years now. And we're living in this world where we've almost like all the laws have been completely flipped by the very people that need them flipped so they can make more money and they can capitalise off our pain, grief, and this sort of general self destructive mode that's happening at the moment [...]

He doesn't get how hypocritical this is, does he? The Markles are the ones capitalising on their grief, pain and the rest of it. And no-one would be interested in them without the royal bits because they have nothing else to offer. Failed actress and used-to-be-a-soldier wrapped up in festering bitterness.

Blah, blah... went shopping in a supermarket... saw lots of chewing gum... blah, blah... Archie on the back of his bicycle... girls want to be princesses... You don't need to be a princess, you can create the life that will be better than any princess or it's something along those lines... she said she expected [the press] to be fair... Pages and pages of how he hates the British press...

PH: [...] And especially when you can't defend yourself so yes, I think when you marry into it, especially when it's one Princess Diana's sons there is a certain amount of 'okay what I'm actually letting myself in for?' But very few people actually know - apart from the Brits - how toxic that element of the of the UK press is.[...]

We're up to page 24 now, if you're still with me. Oh here it is, Harry's unconscious bias... What’s the betting the mad wife has scripted this bit for him?

PH: [...] So going back to the whole sort of travelling around the Commonwealth, I thought I knew, right, having been able to travel that much and meet so many and such a diverse group of people. I thought I understood life. Especially bearing in mind most of the countries I was going to were, most of the communities are going to were people of colour. But then I was really shocked once I started doing therapy. And that bubble was burst. And I started doing my own work, really - a lot of work - and started to uncover and understand more about unconscious bias. And I was like, wow, I thought since I screwed up when I was younger, and then did the work. I thought I then knew. But I didn't. And I still don't fully know. It's like a constant working progress. And every single one of us has it. [...] Everyone has biases, of all sorts. But I think it's a really important point, especially now, after everything's happened in the last year and a half, like the world is changing, the younger generation are driving it. And you've got to like a multi-racial, cultural sort of movement happening, which has never happened before. But unconscious bias is the way that I understand it, is, again, it's not something that's wrong with you. Right? And you don't have to be defensive about it. That's the thing. No one's blaming you. But the moment that you acknowledge that you do have unconscious bias, what are you going to do about it? Because if you choose to do nothing you're continuing to fuel the problem, which means that you're then heading towards racism. Whereas unconscious bias is actually something that is inherent, unfortunately, in every single one of us. But that it is possible to educate yourself to be more aware of the problems and therefore be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Markle's got him well-trained on this one, hasn't she. I wonder if he's read anything critical of the unconscious bias movement, or just repeating what he's been told to. Oh and then he goes off about being in the army...

PH: I loved it. I love wearing the same uniform as everybody else. I love being treated the same. I love the expectation of if you want to get that job, or you want that promotion, or you want to finish this race, it's all on you. There's no special treatment, you're not going to get any help. If anything, you're probably going to get treated the opposite because everyone thinks that you've had an easy life. And everyone's always helped you get to where you are.

But...but...but, Harry wasn't treated the same, there was special treatment, he was helped to get to where he was. He scraped a couple of poor quality A Levels and got admitted to Sandhurst because he's a prince. Good old Wikipedia says:

In June 2003, Harry completed his education at Eton with two A-Levels,[22] achieving a grade B in art and D in geography, having decided to drop history of art after AS level.[23] He has been described as "a top tier athlete", having played competitive polo and rugby union.[24] One of Harry's former teachers, Sarah Forsyth, has asserted that Harry was a "weak student" and that staff at Eton conspired to help him cheat on examinations.[25][26] Both Eton and Harry denied the claims.[25][27] While a tribunal made no ruling on the cheating claim, it "accepted the prince had received help in preparing his A-level 'expressive' project, which he needed to pass to secure his place at Sandhurst."[25][28]

PH: And then suddenly, like - while I was at school, I hated exams. And I promised myself I'd never do exams again. Then I joined the army of which is full of exams. I still promised myself I'm never gonna do it and then I end up flying Apache [...]

Gods, it's getting boring. Even the interviewers are zoning out. Still ten pages to go. Wish I hadn't started this, I could be out weeding. Weather's nice, not too windy... Do I deserve a quick G&T yet?

PH: Or worse, was they turn around and say, right, because last week, you're out the front. This week, you got to carry his bergan, I'm like - what, 30 extra pounds? Nooo. But it was, it was the most normalising experience or job that I could have ever hoped for. And then going to Afghanistan twice [...] And someone said to me very recently, from the moment that you're born into today's world, life is trauma, so the sooner that we actually acknowledge that but but [...]

A-a-a-a-and he's back on the mental health thing, PTSD or PTSI,

PH: Post Traumatic Stress Injury is like: Well, that makes sense, because I just saw my mate get blown out. But the other piece of this is, what we need to remember is, the lot of the recruiting that we do in the UK, comes from certain cities and certain homes, where there's childhood trauma. So what we collectively have already got inside of us, the trigger of seeing something happen in Iraq, Afghanistan can be the trigger. So everyone goes: Oh, it's because they were on operations, and because they saw their makeup blown up. It's like, no. [...] So that's what I've been working on for years, for the last five years, which is like, and it started in therapy of like, I don't want to lose this thing, because I think it's, I feel so connected to my mum. [...]

They move on to parenting, which the press is rubbing its hands over... Harry blaming everyone but himself and his saintly mother - Charles, HMTQ, PP... "They f*ck you up, your mum and dad". But not the mum bit. He can't push his mum off her pedestal.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse if you don't know Larkin's poetry. How much more? Nearly there. Monica loves The Crown and doesn't realise it's fictitious.

DS: [...]Well, Harry, I've really really liked talking to you. You're very charming. You're very intelligent. You're handsome, and I can't wait to see your torso.

MP: Thank you so much for coming.

DS: So I just want to remind everyone that May 21 on Apple Plus, you should check out Oprah and Prince Harry's 'The Me You Can't See'. I have to imagine it's similar to her book, which I just read, which is absolutely incredible 'What happened to you?' So everyone should check out 'The me you can't see' on Apple plus May 21.

And still Harry won't shut up... Shut up, shut up. Cut his mic. You don't have to read this last bit, they've already wound up the interview...He still won’t shut up.

PH: Yeah, we're moving from the physical to the emotional, right, physically. At the beginning of this pandemic, people were panicking. And there was that fight or flight like, ahh what do we do like lockdown, survival? Yeah. And now that the vaccines have been sort of, we're getting to the point where more and more people are being vaccinated, we're now in the emotional phase of what I read in the New York Times article was called languishing, which is really interesting. It's like the is the middle child between flourishing and depression. You just feel flat, and it's not depressed. It's definitely not flourishing. You lack the energy and the will, the motivation, all that kind of stuff. Because you're kind of sitting there going - Well, what happens next? And I think it's really important that we talk about languishing. And it was coined by someone I can't remember who but I think it was the journalist who wrote the story was Adam Grant. No, he didn't come up with it. Someone else came up with him, he wrote this, the most amazing article about languishing and the fact that how important it is to be able to talk about it because - look when it comes to mental health, we need to realise and accept that every single one of us have mental health. There's varying degrees, as we said, you've got the mental illness, and then you've got the sort of the awareness and the work that you can put in, like, Where do you want to be that we shouldn't just sit there and go: Oh, mental illness is once we are literally on the floor crawling around in the foetal position needing help. But for me, I don't think I need therapy anymore. But I wanted. And when I say therapy, I mean, actual therapy, sitting down having a discussion with someone. But I also mean like, nature, like going for walks, like throwing the ball for my dog down the beach and stuff like that. There are certain things around the world that are free, some you have to pay for, but ultimately go searching for the things that make you feel good about yourself. Like that's the key to life, get rid of the bad stuff, get rid of the hate, and just focus on the good. And your whole life turns around from that. I hate this idea. And I was one of them. I fell for it. Right? I didn't acknowledge that clearly what happened to me when I was 12 years old, losing my mom and all the other pieces that happened, the traumatic experiences that happened to me since then, I didn't acknowledge them, when perhaps - maybe I need to deal with this because if I don't, how the hell am I going to be a decent father to my son and my daughter? Like that awareness, I didn't have then. But again, we've got what - 40 experts as part of this series, and the Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, she's absolutely fantastic. And she was talking about this concept of mental health being sort of public health, right. Because the services are so limited. There's not enough money. The problem is actually immense. How can we all help each other rather than this: 'Oh, once I'm broken, or once I'm suffering, I have to go here.' And there's not enough rooms or spaces for the amount of people or the for the need, when actually you can get ahead of it, and work on the prevention by sharing and being more vulnerable with each other, and being able to process this grief or this loss, or this trauma that every single one of us have experienced and will experience. So anyone who's sitting there going: 'I don't have a problem, and I never will have a problem.' Well, you probably are already contributing to the problem, because you probably got your blinkers on, you probably created your own echo chambers. So I think it's a that, that's certainly what I've experienced for my own process, my own journey, my family and my friends and everybody else is. Anyone who thinks, oh, we're fine. You're the one who's like, willing to talk about it. It's like, yeah, I'm willing to talk about it and talking about it. And the financial element as well. We're pouring money into on the downsteam, when it's like, Can we just focus upstream? Yeah, we focus on one thing, like to me listen to Oprah was what was one of the reasons that this whole thing started was two of the biggest issues that we're facing in today's world, I think, is the climate crisis, and mental health. And they're both intrinsically linked. Basically if we neglect our collective wellbeing, then we're screwed. Basically, because we can't look after ourselves. We can't look after each other. We can't look after each other, we can't look after this home that we all inhabit. So it's all part of the same thing.

DS: Prince Harry, I don't say this lightly. I love you. Thanks for coming. This was great.

M: Thank you so much.

PH: Thank you very much.

Wish I'd done my weeding.

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siryouarebeingmocked · 5 years ago

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Strike two, two struck

Listening to Our Fake History podcast again. Episode on whether the city of Troy was real. One guy 'discovered' a certain city by going to an area and asking the people nearby where the ruins of that city were.

And then the host says something like "Can you really say something was 'discovered' if the locals already knew about it? That's like saying you "discovered" a continent where millions of people already lived! But I digress."

Gee, thanks. We really needed to be graced with the stunningly original take "colonialism was bad, actually." Being #woke was *totally* worth derailing your own podcast.

Also, my flat was home invaded by drug dealers over some kind of feud with Mike, there's literally blood all over the walls and carpet as I type this, I'm the only dude here who wasn't involved, Mike's window is smashed, the bad guys got away, and golly gee gosh I'm really looking forward to the next few months of paranoia.

Especially since they saw me recording them. In a video so crap the cops didn't want it.

My biggest concern about my body when I woke up that morning was "I hope this ear infection clears up soon."

These guys might come for me on the street. And thanks to the beneficence of her Majesty's government, all I can use to defend myself is a dog training whistle, my belt, and the old Mark I feet.

Needless to say, if I was in the US, I'd at least be looking into... certain products from certain manufacturers. Heck, I would've at least bought pepper spray months ago, when someone got stabbed to death in public nearby.

If not sooner.

Then again, if I lived in Yankland, I'd be dealing with an entirely different set of imminent threats to health and safety.

At least the cops got the phone the yobs left behind. The obvious burner the criminals came back for.

As I'm typing this, I have a headache, presumably from stress.

I don't drink.

But some days I really, really want to.

PS: Mike said Charlie said it's a good thing I stayed in my room, as police say one should for a home invasion. That I'm not the physically confrontational type. I would've just gotten hurt.

True. I'm more defensive-minded. Back home, I used to carry around an improved club I made from a broken fan's stand shaft when I hung the clothes out in our backyard, which was screened in by bushes. Especially if I was the only one home. Or with my mother and/or the kids she babysits, who wouldn't increase my Effective Military Strength, shall we say.

I'm pretty sure I couldn't get away with that here, especially not without an actual fan.

Well, at least there’s a lot of crap in the front hall I could use to Jackie Chan if I absolutely had to. And their numbers would count for nothing in the narrow pass. Especially if I tip the bikes over behind me.

Still, I’m losing sleep and worrying about every normal noise I hear outside my window. Could it be them Coming Back?

At least my old habits of “have a plan to defend yourself against everyone you meet” have come in handy.

I’m also worried that the police could take “so you Googled protecting yourself” as some kind of mens rea. Even though, y’know, of course I would after an attack.

I have a few pocket items that I can use as weapons, and I literally checked through a VPN to make sure one of them didn’t say “tactical” or anything in the ebay listing. Which wasn’t why I bought it in the first place.

I also watch a lot of self-defense videos. Because I like writing tactical stuff. And also the paranoia from the last time I was nearly attacked. And did I mention I’m from an extremely violent country?

#personal

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hanniiesuckle17 · 5 years ago

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Do You Trust Me?

A/N: This is to celebrate 1K followers! Thank you so much, guys! Sorry it came so late! Remember requests are OPEN! This is based on the book/film, Nerve. Possibly might make this a series, I don’t know. I haven’t really had a lot of time to write unless you guys send in requests. Then I’ll make fucking time.

WARNINGS: Swearing, some intense themes, partial nudity (but no smut)

Summary: Welcome to NERVE. Are you a Watcher or a Player? Watchers pay to watch and Players play to win. Which will you choose? All you have to do is survive one night of daring acts and win prizes and fame unimaginable. It’s all or nothing. Literally. The next question…are you solo or are you going to pair up?

Genre: Thriller, Non-idol!au, Nerve!au, Action, Dystopian?, Idolxreader

Music blasted through the auditorium. I watched as my group went through choreography on stage. My choreography. This was supposed to be my last project as a senior. I spent hours in the studio coming up with the set only to be kicked out the day before the show.

My best friend, Jennie, jumped off stage as the music stopped. “Hey, don’t be so bummed. There are plenty of other things you could do tomorrow.” I scoffed and pouted in the faux velvet auditorium chair. “Yeah. What’s better than watching my own choreography I’m not performing.” Jennie aimlessly scrolled through her phone which was always wrapped in that stupid blue rhinestone case. She insisted it went with her style, which was true.

“Well, you could always sign up to be a Watcher. There is a NERVE game in Seoul tomorrow. I already submitted my prelim dare to be a Player. I’m going to ditch curtain call and play.” I shrugged. Jennie was obsessed with NERVE. She dragged me and my other friend, Seungmin, to her house last year to watch the Gangnam rounds. When it was announced the rounds were going to be played in Seoul, she was determined to become a Player. She said it was her path to fame.

“Maybe I should play. Just for fun not for those prizes. They seem like scams.” Jennie let out a bright laugh and smiled at me. “That’s funny, Y/n. You as a Player.” As her laughter died down she returned to her phone.

“What’s so funny about me being a Player? I could do it.”

Jennie dropped her phone into her bag and focused her attention on me. Most boys would be at each other's throats for this much attention from her. They all seemed to love her tiny figure with just enough curves to be flawless. Whereas I could never find the right outfit to hide my lumps but also hug my humps.

“Y/n, you know I love you,” she stated with a gentle smile. “But you can be kind of a pushover sometimes.” A pushover? Is that what everyone thought? “The show is a perfect example.” Did everyone really think of me as this shy doormat? “I just don’t think you have the same guts to pull off some of those dares. They can get dangerous.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Without even thinking about it I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the auditorium. Jennie and I had been friends since we were kids, but it was now clear to me she only thought of me as her little pushover sidekick. I just felt so angry. I sat against the wall of the school and looked up at the setting sun. What time was it?

7:58 pm, my phone read.

Suddenly an ad popped up on my phone since I was still using a VPN on the school wifi. NERVE flashed on my screen in bright neon colors with tempting prizes and a link to the site. I don’t know what compelled me to click the link but suddenly a video with an obviously animatronic voice was playing.

Welcome to NERVE. Are you a Watcher or a Player?

Are you a Watcher or a Player?

My finger hovered over Watcher, but then I thought back to Jennie and to events in the past few weeks that made me realize she was right. I was too much of a wallflower to even ask out my dance partner Hyunjin, let alone fight for my own spot in the show.

Without hesitation I pressed Player and a new video started playing with the same voice, only this time showing some weird clips or other players and some online jokes.

You have chosen...Player. NERVE is a direct democracy. Watchers decide your dares.

The two Players with the most Watchers at the end of regulation will advance to the final round, where the winner takes all.

Watchers can watch from anywhere, but they are encouraged to film live. So, don't be alarmed. There are three rules.

1. All dares must be filmed on the Player's phone.

2. There are only two ways to be eliminated: Fail or Bail.

3. Snitches get stitches.

Thank you for keeping NERVE a secret. Good luck Player.

"Well, this isn't shady." Another pop up came onto my home screen. Apparently, NERVE had installed its app onto my phone. A 'yes or no' option popped up that read: Are you ready to accept your first dare?

I pressed 'yes' and quickly filled out the profile information before the app took me to another screen with my dare and a countdown of 25 minutes.

Go to Java House and wait for a boy in a black, yellow, and white flannel shirt and jean jacket. Convince him to buy you a coffee.

When he goes in line, sing loudly and off-key 100 Bottles of Coke on the Wall until he gives it to you. Then dump it over your head.

Reward: $200

"Oh shit. I need a ride." Quickly I called Seungmin hoping he was still inside. Thankfully he answered. "Hey what's up-"

"Seungmin are you done with lights?" "Umm yeah, why?" I quickly told him what happened and hung up the phone waiting for him to come out of the building. The timer on my phone flashed 19 minutes and 23 seconds left.

"You're playing NERVE?" Seungmin yelled at me as he exited the building and we ran to his car. "Yeah, so what. Come on, we have 18 minutes to get to Java House."

The ride to the coffee house was silent. I was honestly glad that Seungmin was coming with me in case this guy I was meeting was a creep. "Why are you doing this again?" Seungmin said keeping his eyes on the road. "I don't know. To prove that I can cause apparently people only like and notice you if you are this confident and daring person."

Another silence momentarily filled the car. "You mean like Jennie?" I shrugged and checked the timer again. "You know I don't think all that stuff matters. I like people who are more soft-spoken, and sweet, and honest, and creative-"

"Seungmin we're here. Stop the car!" I said already taking off my seatbelt. He jerked the car into a parking space, but I was already halfway to the door. A glance at my phone revealed that I had arrived with 2 minutes and 51 seconds to spare. I heaved a sigh of relief and scanned the coffee shop looking for the boy NERVE had described.

"Geez wait for your friend much," Seungmin said coming in behind me. "Sorry, Min. He isn't here yet." Seungmin moved to stand in front of me. "Y/n, what if this dude is a total creep-" "That's why I have you, Seungmin." He mumbled something under his breath but the ringing of the Cafe doorbell sent my attention flying to the entrance.

A gorgeous girl, maybe college-aged, strut through the door. Behind her was a boy about the same age, with dark hair and plump cheeks, but when he turned his head to scan the shop his features immediately became as sharp as a knife. Silver earrings swayed with the movement of his head as a hand ran through his dark locks. My eyes looked down to find him wearing the yellow flannel and jean jacket. Our eyes locked and he smirked eyeing me up and down. He handed the girl his phone and she immediately started recording.

"Seungmin, that's him! Go over there and start recording!" I said shoving my phone into my friend's hands and shoving him to a booth. My hands shook as the handsome boy walked over to me, but I tried to channel how Jennie often looked when talking to guys. I pushed my shoulders back and held his stare hoping that my smile didn't look creepy or deranged.

"Are you Y/n?"

"What's it to you?"

"Well you, hot stuff, are a crucial part of my dare."

"As you are of mine." He chuckled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Look all you have to do is proclaim out loud what a great lover I am and then let me show my appreciation." I hoped my cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

I looked him up and down and then spared a glance toward the girl filming the two of us. "Fine, but only if you buy me a drink." "Sure." "Iced chai tea latte and quickly.....please." The last part I added as he walked away and he looked back and gave me a small smile. He stepped in line and I shut my eyes and began to sing very loudly.

"100 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL!

100 BOTTLES OF COKE! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND, 99 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL!"

I continued to belt the song and I prayed that Flannel Boy would hurry the fuck up before I burst into tears. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. There was something about being the center of attention that just made me uncomfortable. It was different when I was on stage, but here....in real life....it was too much.

"61 BOTTLES OF-" Someone gently tapped my shoulder and I opened my eyes. Flannel Boy stood holding my drink with a gentle smile. His brown eyes had a kind look to them unlike earlier when they were filled with mischief. "One iced chai tea latte for the pretty lady."

I thanked him and without hesitating dumped the cold drink over my head with a small shriek. The liquid soaked my hair and shirt and the ice was painfully cold. I looked up to find him shocked and fighting back a small smile. It was one of those smiles that were out of complete surprise but you knew he wasn't laughing at you.

I heard the entire coffee shop gasp and some laugh and I didn't have to look around to know that at least a third of them had their phones out. It was then I remembered my part of the deal with him.

So as loud as I could I said, "This man is the best lover I have ever had!" A smile came over his face that reached his eyes and a hand came to rest on my waist, brushing up against bare, cold, tea drenched skin.

"Aww thanks, babe." Before I could react, he pressed his lips against mine. His hand came up to my cheek and pushed a strand of wet hair away. I couldn't help but melt. He pulled away leaving only a couple of inches between us.

"I'm Han."

"I'm Y/n."

"Yeah, I know."

"Sorry. The iced tea kind of fried my brain." I said with a nervous chuckle.

He laughed and pulled away further. "Oh, your shirt!" He said looking down and then quickly away. Looking down I saw I had forgotten something very important. I was wearing a white thin crop top with a black bra underneath for everyone in the crowded coffee shop to see. Panicking I crossed my arms over my chest and felt the heat creeping up my cheeks and ears.

"Here." Han swiftly removed his jean jacket and draped it over my shoulders, pulling it to cover my front.

"Han-ah! We got it, let's go." The blonde girl said leaning against a booth. He nodded in her direction before turning back to me. "I think your girlfriend wants you to go."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh-"

Without another word, the boy smiled and started towards the door. "Wait!" He turned at my call. "Your jacket?" With a small smile and a hand on the door he said. "Keep it. I'll see you in the Rounds, babe."

With that the two disappeared into the night leaving me standing in the middle of the shop, surrounded by the smell of coffee and something sweet. Maybe mint? Seungmin's voice brought me out of whatever trance I was in. "Y/n, it's 9:45! Isn't your curfew in 15 minutes?"

"Oh fuck!"

The two of us raced to Seungmin's beat-up old car and prayed that the traffic gods were feeling gracious. The minutes ticked closer to 10:00 and I got more and more anxious. If I missed the last night of this punishment caused curfew I would never have another taste of freedom for the rest of my life.

With three minutes to spare I opened my front door to find all but the kitchen lights off. "Y/n?" My mother called out. I sighed and trudged towards my mother's voice. She stood cutting vegetables for tomorrow's dinner. Her hair was neatly pulled up and out of her face, so her stern eyes could focus on the blade in her slender hands.

At some point, I remember wanting to look just like her. Sharp features, slender waist, and small frame. Some part of me still did. The part that hoped one day I would wake up and the fat on my stomach or thighs would disappear and my mother would be proud to say, "Look at my beautiful, daughter."

"Cutting it a little close?" I nodded and set my backpack down on the kitchen table. "There were some problems with sound. They lost our track." She could always tell when I was lying, so I prayed she wasn't doing her fucking C3P0 scanning thing to detect my dishonesty.

She simply nodded and continued chopping vegetables after looking at the time. "Whose jacket is that?" Her usually soft voice had an edge. "Oh, one of the guys spilled coffee all over my shirt and offered it to me." Well....it wasn't a total lie.

A deafening silence followed and I felt awkward standing in the middle of the kitchen. Deciding that two minutes was enough of dead silence and that the conversation was over, I turned over my shoulder and headed for the stairs.

"Y/n?"

"Yes..."

I turned back to find my mother looking at me with a kind smile.

"Thank you for being so patient with the whole curfew situation. You have shown me that you are responsible enough without one." Returning the smile, my tired body climbed the remaining stairs and hopped in the shower. My room was dark and the only light came from my phone, which I put on the nightstand. Crawling under the warm covers I pulled the device from its charger.

Account Deposit: $200.00

With a click, the screen shut off and I lay staring at the ceiling. Tonight was a night I certainly wouldn't forget but had no chance of repeating. I hated to admit it, but Jennie was right. The dare was fun while it lasted, but it wasn't really in my comfort zone.

My mind wandered to Han with his dark hair and lean figure. I wondered where he was. If he was doing another dare just for fun, or at home, going back to a normal life. Just like me.

My eyes closed and a heaviness fell upon them. The warmth of my room and bed surrounded me in a veil of security. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Han's eyes looking over at me, a smile reaching the corners.

In the darkness, while I slept soundly, a sound was heard. My phone vibrated against the wooden end table as a constant stream of notifications lit up the device.

Saturday. Today was supposed to be the day I performed my choreography in front of a huge audience filled with talent scouts and college recruiters. Sunlight streamed through my curtains hitting my very unawake face.

Run Away by Teen Top started blasting from my phone making me bolt upright. Running a hand through my messy knotted hair I grabbed the phone and cursed whoever was calling me.

Jennie

My hand suddenly felt very heavy and my entire body screamed for me to go back to bed and ignore her call, but I didn't. "Hel-"

"What the fuck, Y/n!"

"Jen, what's up?" I said hoping I wasn't now deaf in my right ear. "What's up? What's up. I'll tell you what's up. The fact that your little prelim dare went viral! What the hell were you thinking!?" My blood ran cold. Frantically I searched for my laptop as Jennie continued to scream at me over the phone.

"WAIT WHAT!"

Stuffing my phone between my cheek and my shoulder I logged onto the NERVE website and the first thing I saw was the leader board. I watched as the Watcher count by my user name skyrocketed into the thousands. Alongside it was a link to my dare. I scanned the leaderboards and no longer saw Jennie's name. She had landed the 8th slot earlier this week and was so proud. My eyes caught on the user in fifth place. Han's picture was placed next to the user @J.One. And just below him in sixth, was me...

"I can't believe you kicked me off the leaderboard!"

"Jennie it was a one-time thing really! I just wanted it to try it. I have no intention of competing in the rounds."

There was silence over the phone. "Are you sure?" Her voice was soft and I could tell she didn't believe me. I repeated myself once more and promised that I wouldn't do another dare. I hoped that set her mind at ease. "Who was that guy anyway?" Her tone was back to normal as if I had never upset her at all.

"I have no clue. His name was Han, though."

I smiled clicking my video. It was weird watching the two of us meet from someone else's point of view. I looked so obviously out of place next to him. "Was he a good kisser at least?" My finger moved over the mouse pad and fast-forwarded to later in the video. I watched as Han smiled and pressed his lips on mine.

"Yeah...he was." I couldn't hide the grin in my voice.

"Well too bad you'll never see him again. He looked way older than us anyway."

Taking a second glance at the screen I couldn't disagree. He was obviously way more experienced than I was. The video was hardcore proof. He definitely was at least a sophomore or junior in college as well. Once again Jennie was right.

"You still coming to the show?" Did I want to? Abso-fucking-lutely not. Was I going to? Yes. I absentmindedly scrolled through the comments at the video while Jennie talked. They ranged from serial killer perverted about my tits and wet t-shirt to angry hat comments for kissing Han, who apparently already had a fan base. The phone call ended and I was about the shut my laptop when the page refreshed with new comments. And at the top was a comment from Hyunjin, the boy who I've had a crush on since freshman year.

Didn't know you had it in you, Y/n! Nice shirt ;)

My face flushed a beet red and a grin spread all the way to my ears. My mother's shrill voice interrupted my daydream of Hyunjin actually liking me back. "Y/n! One hour until we have to leave!" What? Confused I looked at the time. "Oh fuck!" I had slept in until three in the afternoon. I guess all the stress and excitement for yesterday exhausted me more than I thought.

I jumped in the shower and dried my hair as quickly as possible. In record time I applied foundation, contour, and eyeliner before sprinting to my closet. Hyunjin is going to be there. Crap. Clothes flew across the room as I searched for something that would be in any way flattering.

I settled for some black high waisted shorts and a belt with a blue and white vertical striped button-down. Slipping on some simple silver accessories, and a choker, I checked the time. It had been an hour and five minutes. My mom would be storming up here any minute now.

I grabbed some chunky white sneakers and tied them tightly just as my mom burst through the door. "Y/n! Let's go! After I drop you off I have a meeting!" The two of us rushed to the car and hurried to the school. "Are you staying out after?" I nodded and looked out the window. "There is a party at Jennie's house after. If I can't get a ride from Seungmin, Jennie said I could stay over." She nodded and the rest of the ride was silent.

After dropping me off my mom dashed off towards her meeting and would probably end up working late into the night since I was busy. That left me to watch a show that I choreographed and was kicked out of.

By 7:30 the entire event was finished and I had little crescent marks on the palms of my hands. Had I been any stronger my nails would have broken through the skin. I gritted my teeth as I sent my congratulations to all the dancers I saw. I walked backstage in search of Jennie and Seungmin, who was honestly probably hiding from all the commotion.

"Have you seen Jennie?" I asked a passing my sophomore, I think his name was Felix. I remember him doing really well with my choreography. "Uh.....yeah I think she went into the dressing rooms like ten minutes ago." I smiled and congratulated him on a great show. It was quiet backstage. But being alone in a theater was honestly one of my favorite places.

My knuckles gently tapped on the dressing room door before entering. What I saw had me frozen in shock. Jennie had changed out her costume and into a tube top and short skirt. She was also wearing a Hyunjin like a scarf. They hardly even noticed me enter the room too busy with what body part to grope.

"Jennie?"

Tears threatened to fall as the two of them looked up. She didn't even bother to push him away. Out of the two of them, Hyunjin looked the most ashamed which was just a real kick in the metaphorical balls.

"Come on, Y/n. You didn't really think he liked you, right?"

Any normal person would scream at her or slap her or at least get angry with her. But I did none of those things. I simply walked out of the building passing a concerned Seungmin on the way. I ignored him and kept walking looking up at the ceiling, begging for tears not to fall.

Ding

Freezing in the middle of the hall I looked down at my phone to see a notification from NERVE. In the background, I could hear Seungmin catching up to me. With blurry vision, I opened the app.

Congratulations! You have qualified to compete in the live rounds where the prizes are bigger and the stakes are higher!

Do you wish to continue?

My hand hovered over the no button. Subconsciously still willing to follow through with a promise I made to my best friend who was currently giving hickeys to the boy I liked. "Y/n! What's wrong?" Me. I was what's wrong. It was time for a change. It was time to do what I wanted for once.

Just as Seungmin reached my side I pressed the accept button and another creepy video played, welcoming me to the official game.

"Y/n......please tell me you didn't just do that."

The device vibrated in my hand as a new notification popped on the screen. NERVE had sent me my first dare.

Go into the city. 41× ×××××××× Ln.

My heart jumped at the reward. It was two tickets and a backstage pass to my favorite band. I hadn't told anyone I was even looking at tickets! "Seungmin, can you take me into the city?"

His face held disapproval all over it. "Y/n, you cannot play this game! Some kid died two years ago! Don't you remember? Plus no one knows how the game is run. It's across so many separate servers that it's impossible to verify anything. They could suck up all your information they wanted to." I scoffed. "Min that was just some rumor. Also, I'll be careful with what info I give them." Seungmin was the smartest guy I knew, but like me, he played only in his comfort zone. "How far are you going to take this?"

Shrugging, my eyes looked over the almost empty lobby. Everyone had probably already headed over to Jennie's house for the after-party. "If they ask me to do anything uncomfortable or illegal I'll stop. I promise." He sighed and scratched the back of his neck clearly having an internal battle.

"Fine. But I'm sticking by you."

I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the parking lot. The ignition started and I pressed ‘accept’, starting the timer. "We have 18 minutes to get to this address!" Min glanced at the screen and then pulled out of the lot at high speeds.

The two of us raced down the highway headed towards Seoul. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out the window admiring the Seoul skyline. Something at this moment made me feel so free. The wind blew through my hair and the world looked so big and bright.

We pulled in front of this huge building. The sign obviously stating that it was a haute couture department store. Everything in there was worth probably more than my life three times over.

NERVE congratulated me on the completion of my dare. A confirmation email was sent into my inbox with the ticket order and number. I screamed from delight! Seungmin and I stood outside watching expensive cars and people come down the street.

Ding

Seungmin came around the car to my side. Pulling up the NERVE app I read my next dare.

You have 17 minutes to find and try on this dress.

Reward: $850

Below the dare was a picture of a gorgeous black dress on a mannequin. Seungmin let out a slow whistle over my shoulder. "That thing must cost a fortune!" I ran a hand through my hair and nodded. Looking up the store stood maybe 15 stories tall. Finding that singular dress in ten minutes was going to take a miracle.

"Come on! We don't have a lot of time." Seungmin had already started walking towards the entrance. Before I could follow him my phone sounded again.

Ding

Looking down, I read the message. "Seungmin...." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. Innocent eyes looking back at me with a smile. Confirming that he would most likely follow me into whatever crazy shit I got myself into.

"You can't come." His face fell and he walked back to me. I showed him the message.

Ditch your techie boyfriend.

"Y/n, you can't seriously be thinking of doing this alone?" He could tell by my face that I was going to follow through. "I'm not going to let you do this by yourself. It's too dangerous!"

"Seungmin! I have to do this alone!" He looked away from me I could see a million things he wanted to say. Both of us were stubborn but he knew this was a battle he couldn't win. "Fine, but I'm signing up as a Watcher."

"Just don't sign up to film dares or they could say I'm cheating." He shrugged and got back into the car. "Yeah sure."

"Seungmin...." I placed my hand on his shoulder through the open window. "Thank you." He smiled softly and motioned for me to leave.

Clicking accept, the camera activated and the timer started counting down. I tried to keep my face somewhat in frame as I ran into the store. My eyes frantically searched for a store clerk. 1:29 had passed.

"Hey! Excuse me! Um......have you seen this dress?" She raised her heavily drawn eyebrow. "Yes, of course, I've seen it."

Really? You're really gonna pull that shit with me? "Where is it? Sorry, I'm headed to a party? In a little bit of a rush." She scoffed and pointed behind her. Clearly, she thought it was hilarious someone like me would even be in the store.

"8th floor." I thanked her and brought the phone back up a little bit to film less of a shit angle. I raced to the elevator but a check with the timer told me there wasn't enough time. "Oh fuck." Comments popped up tens at a time as I raced up the stairs. Bursting through the 8th-floor doors I scanned each mannequin looking for the black dress.

Thankfully I found it with 8 minutes to spare. I quietly tried to unzip the zipper. I was halfway there. Just a couple more inches.

"Excuse me, miss." I froze, a deer in headlights. "Don't undress the mannequin. I can see if I have that in your size." A man with quaffed hair and a matron suit said. He looked me up and down with a questioning gaze. He gave a forced smile when I told him my size.

"Could you please hurry? I'm late for a....uh...party." With a nod, he disappeared to find the dress. I let out a sigh of relief and prayed that he could find it quickly. I gave a quick smile toward the camera before picking up the tag on the dress.

"HOLY FUCK!" I exclaimed under my breath. The dress cost close to $2,000. Who would pay $2,000 for a black bodycon dress? I could get something like this for $20 online probably.

The man returned with the dress with 5 minutes to spare. He led me to a communal dressing room area in a half-moon shape with curtained rooms lining the walls.

Rushing into the far right one, I threw my phone onto the bench and angled the camera towards me. Throwing off my shirt and shorts I grabbed the dress keeping an eye on the timer. 1 minute left. I was thankful for the fact I wore a black bra and underwear seeing as there were so many mesh panels.

Writhing around like the demon from the Exorcist, I tried to close the zipper. I could see the timer counting down from 10 on the screen. Comments flooded a tiny section of the screen as I watched the camera capture all of my attempts to get the zipper that last inch.

With two seconds left I cheered and grabbed my phone stepping out of the dressing room. "I'm done!" I flipped the camera to show the mirror. However, no notification came telling me I completed the dare. I tapped the screen, still seeing comments coming in. "What? Come on! I totally finished in time." I sighed defeated.

Ding

Congratulations! $850.00 has been wired to your account.

Smiling I pumped my fist in the air like a dork. "Are you still doing okay, Miss?" The clerk said walking in. Immediately I straighten my posture and got rid of the goofy smile. "Yes, I'm doing fine." After the man walked away I let my hand fall to my side. The reflection in the mirror called me to look at it.

My eyes scanned over my body in the mirror from bottom to top. My white sneakers still looked the same but as I moved up my appearance changed. My legs suddenly looked nicer and curvier rather than large. The black dress hugged my hips and hid my love handles. It looked fantastic. A smile slid onto my face. I loved what I saw in the mirror. I thought I looked pretty.

"So, you come here often?" I joked at my reflection.

"Oh, me?"

"What's your email number- I mean uh- what's your uh- your number?" I cringed internally and physically at how awkward I was even in this gorgeous dress. The dress gave me confidence, but not enough to change the fact that I cannot speak. I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

"Well look at you."

I turned at the voice to find Han walking out of one of the dressing rooms. His eyes drank in my figure with a small smile of wonder.

"You look beautiful." He said crossing the distance. "You clean up quite nicely too."

He dusted off his blazer with a smirk. The white dress shirt underneath the gray blazer with black lapels was fitted to his lean body. The top two buttons were left undone showing the tan skin on his neck and collarbone. The fabric was tucked into slim-fitting cropped dress pants that made him look a little taller. However, similarly, Han's shows did not match his ensemble. The black Doc Martens on his feet should have clashed with everything else, but the whole outfit seemed quite him.

"Why thank you." Again his eyes wandered up and down my body, not in a sensual way, but more like in amazement. "We make quite the couple don't we?" He said with a smile as his hand wrapped around my waist. He looked in the mirror and stuck his other hand in his pocket.

I chuckled as he made funny faces at me in the mirror. But he was right. Standing next to him in the mirror I almost looked like I belonged there. Maybe a little awkward, but less out of place next to him. "What are the chances we both get a dare in the same place?" I asked with a naive smile.

Ding Ding

Both our phones went off at about the same time. He smiled as he read his dare. Looking at mine I couldn't help but do the same.

Let Han choose shoes to finish your look.

Reward: $350

Han flipped his phone to show me. His screen had a similar dare written on it. This had to be the easiest $350 I would ever make.

Complete Y/n’s ensemble.

Reward: Laptop and Recording Mic

“Milady, if you would come this way?” With an overexaggerated bow he motioned for the doorway. Taking the goofball’s hand we both headed out onto the floor in search of the shoe section.

Han knelt on the floor below me trying to unfasten the tiny buckle on a pair of women’s heels while he riffed in a terrible British accent. My camera stayed trained on him while his phone was propped up on a bunch of shoe boxes. Another string of cuss words flew out of his mouth as the strap slipped through his larger fingers. I threw my head back in laughter, looking around the store.

A flash of black leather caught my eye. A boy maybe a few years older than me was speeding through the aisle towards the exit, phone in hand. His blonde hair contrasted against his pale skin and muscular form. He wore all black including a worn leather jacket and dark ripped jeans. Gripped tightly in his hands were two bags with the store’s name branded across the middle.

“Ah HaH!” My attention was immediately brought back to the boy on the floor who had finally managed to undo the clasp. A shy smile slipped onto my lips as he slid the black heel onto my foot. Though I didn’t consider myself a girly girl, I felt like Cinderella. With my assistance, we fastened the buckle on both shoes and I stood in front of the mirror. Han panned the phone over my entire outfit.

“Gorgeous! I’ll take three pairs! One for the Hamptons, one for lounging, and one for housework.”

He snorted behind the camera and handed my phone back when NERVE said the dare was complete. After changing back into my old beat up Filas, the two of us headed back towards the dressing rooms. “Well, this has been really fun,” I said standing in the center of the room. He smiled, hands in his pockets. “Yeah, it has.” There was a moment where we just looked at each other, and I swear I saw some sort of longing in his eyes. His eyes looked down to my lips for a split second.

Ding

“Oh, sorry. One moment.” “No, no. Go ahead.” I watched as Han pulled away, I hadn’t realized how close he had gotten. He scratched the back of his head and turned away from me. The notification was simply I deposit from my bank, but it brought me back to reality. “I should probably get...going.” Han turned back and looked at me with big eyes. I couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked. “Oh, yeah. Sure. I’ll see you around?” I smiled and started towards my dressing room.

“Hey, Y/n-”

“Yes?”

“You look really beautiful.” I smiled at him and hoped I wasn’t blushing too much.

The two of us then turned and walked to our respective dressing rooms. My smile disappeared when I saw the room empty. My stuff nowhere in sight. Getting down on my knees, I checked under the bench and behind it, as well as behind a potted plant in the corner. I started to panic, the choker on my neck suddenly feeling very tight.

I rushed out into the open. Maybe I had walked into the wrong room? Opening the curtains I checked the last three, of course, finding absolutely nothing. Was I going crazy? Returning to the original dressing room I started to really panic. Did someone really take my stuff? Maybe the clerk thought I left it here for too long.

“Y/n?”

“Han?”

The two of us met in the center once more. He had the same panicked expression written all over his handsome features. “You didn’t take my stuff, did you? As a dare?” I asked, trying not to let my voice get too loud. “What? No, of course not! All my shit is gone too!” My mind was reeling, trying to think of how to get out of this situation. “Fuck! The game is probably just messing with us. Or maybe it was a Watcher? I saw some out on the floor.”

“Han, what are we going to do? We can’t pay for these clothes and we don’t have-”

Just then the store clerk from earlier passed by in the hall. Han dragged me into a dressing room and closed the curtain, giving us privacy. He ran a shaking hand through his dark hair, completely stressed out. “What if we-”

Ding

Both devices went off at once. Sharing a look, we read NERVE’s next dare.

“No. No way.” Han said letting his phone fall onto the bench before turning back to me. “What other choice do we have?” His hands once again ran through his hair, a habit caused by stress, I could now assume.”I mean I knew that the Watchers were thinking about teaming us up, but this could actually get us arrested!” I tried to quiet his voice in case the clerk decided to walk by again. He seemed to calm a little when my hand came over his shoulder. I looked at my phone once more.

Leave the store.

Reward: New iPhone and free unlimited plan

At this point, I didn’t care about the prize. I racked my brain trying to think of any way out of this besides stealing. Though I did keep my debit card in my phone case, there was no way I could afford to pay for both my and Han’s clothes. Suddenly it hit me. “Technically,” He looked over at me, his eyes hopeful for any solution.

“Technically...it just says we have to leave the store,”

Han stuck his head out through the curtain, making sure the coast was clear. “Okay, are you ready?” He asked holding his phone tight in his hand. Thankfully NERVE didn’t put a time limit on this dare. With a nod, we both clicked ‘accept’ and ventured out into the open.

The air was cold and I felt exposed standing in just my black underwear and bra. I followed closely behind Han who held his phone up as casually as possible to film the dare. I had my camera on selfie mode and tried not to let the angle drop below my midriff. Just as we were about to turn a corner we ran into a sales clerk, who upon the sight of us, screamed her head off.

“Run!” Taking my hand, Han and I sprinted through the store racing in between racks in our underwear. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see some people recording, they must have been Watchers. My laughter filled the air as we maneuvered between people and racks. With four floors left to go, I stopped Han and pointed to our left. “Elevator!”

Changing directions, we ran towards the elevator. Laughing I held up the camera and smiled before panning back to Han as he ferociously pressed the down button. He smiled when the bronze doors opened and pulled me into the empty lift.

An awkward silence filled the elevator as we started moving down. An embarrassed laugh left my lips as we looked at each other. It was so hard not to look at him. Never in my life had I seen a more perfect body. His skin was golden and his stomach had subtle lines of muscles defining it. He scoffed his shoes on the tile floor obviously struggling to look anywhere but in my direction.

He opened his mouth to speak to me, but the elevator doors opened to reveal a middle-aged couple. Their jaws dropped as we stared at each other. "Okay, bye!" I screamed grabbing Han's hand and sprinting out of the elevator.

As we traveled down the escalator, going against the movement of the device, we heard staff chasing us. The second our feet touched the floor we sprinted past customers who stood in utter shock at the scene before us.

Bursting through the entrance doors we spilled out onto the street only to be met with a huge crowd of Watchers filming us. Cameras flashed as we pushed through the crowd across the street. Han led me to a motorcycle that was parked near the curb.

"What's this?" He said picking up two bags hanging off the handlebars. I grabbed one of the bags to pull out the dress from earlier. "Oh my god! Are these stolen?" I whispered, stuffing the dress back in the bag. Han searched his bag and pulled out a piece of paper.

"No, receipt. We're good."

"Who could have paid for all this?"

"Probably one of the Watchers with daddy's credit card."

I chuckled and slipped the fabric over my head. I felt better finally being covered in clothing. Han quickly buttoned his pants and slipped his arms in the sleeves of his button-down. "Could you zip me real quick?" Seeing him nod I turned around and felt his warm hands brush against the skin of my back. When I could feel the cool strip of metal fully closed against my skin I turned around, thanking him with a smile.

Ding

I pulled out my phone while Han finished buttoning his shirt and pulling on his jacket. I screamed with joy as the notification enlarged on my screen.

"Who 3fanxy's in here!" I smiled thinking of one of my favorite songs. NERVE had given us an extra prize since our Watcher count had gone up 5,000 viewers. Han and I were now in fourth and fifth place.

Congratulations! Your confirmation and receipt for your phone have been sent to your email and will be mailed to you.

$1,600 has also been deposited into your account.

Han looked over at me with a smirk, pulling keys off of a hidden hook on the bike. "Was that Zico?" He looked me up and down as he leaned against the bike, which I now assumed was his. "What? It's a good song! Fight me." He laughed as he checked his phone briefly too. "No, I love Zico. Bermuda Triangle, right?" I nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"His music got me through a really tough time in my life." Maybe it wasn't a coincidence that I was paired up with Han? Han smiled softly at me. He ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair. His brown eyes surveyed the area. He motioned to a bench a few feet away. “We should have a little time before the next dare. Do you want to get to know each other?”

The two of us sat on the bench, the city lights bouncing off the buildings and creating shadows on our faces. “So, what’s something you’ve never told anyone before?” His eyes sparkled with curiosity as he draped an arm over the back of the metal bench looking over at me.

“Ummm you’re a stranger. I barely know you!” I said with a nervous laugh.

“Please! We’ve kissed and I’ve seen you practically naked.”

A hot blush came over my cheeks as I looked down to see his hand resting on my thigh, closing the already minuscule distance between our seats.

“Fine. Tell me something about you first.” He smiled and nodded. His brows furrowed as Han tried to think of something. He drummed his fingers across my skin and I struggled to control the flood of heat rushing to my cheeks once again. The action wasn’t sexual, it almost seemed casual and domestic. Something I found ironic but surprisingly nice.

“Okay, got it.” He smiled and turned back to me with the tiniest smile. Motioning for him to continue, his face turned serious.

“For my entire life, I have wanted to make music. A couple years ago, I got scouted by JYP and I’ve literally been living out my dream since. But sometimes...I feel like I don’t deserve it or I’m not ready. Sometimes I just want to go back in time...before all of...this. Is that weird?”

His bright eyes turned sad as he spoke. It was then I noticed little things about him. The dark bags under his eyes, the marks around and in his ears from headphones and headsets, the small callouses and rough patches on his hands and fingers from writing and playing instruments. The was a tiredness about him.

“No, I don’t think that’s weird. Not at all.”

A smile slipped onto his face as I rested my hand over his. “Okay, your turn, beautiful.” I sighed and thought about everything that happened in the last two days. My thoughts turned back to seeing Jennie and Hyunjin just a few hours earlier. A car horn zooming by brought me back to reality. “Y/n? Hey, beautiful, you good?” Nodding, I started playing with one of the silver rings on my fingers.

“Have you ever felt like the person you are and the person you are with everyone else are completely different?”

He nodded and I felt his thumb brush across my skin.

“Looking back on my life now, I’ve been spending most of my life being this girl that is such a pushover. Someone who just went with the group, or even my best friend. Not getting to choreograph, I even ignored it when Jennie took my spot as the principal dancer in the showcase. Even though it wasn’t what I wanted to do or she hurt me, I just brushed it off. That’s kind of why I’m doing this. In the time I’ve been playing this game...I’ve felt the most myself I ever have been. I can say whatever I want and do whatever I want without having to be anybody’s sidekick. I like this version of me better.”

A glance over to Han revealed a kind smile on his lips. It quickly turned into a smirk when my full attention turned on him. “Well if it helps, I like this Y/n very much.” Before I could respond Han’s phone went off signaling a new task.

“It says we have to go to this address for our next dare. NERVE is just tallying up the Watchers’ votes.” With a smirk, he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me to his bike. “Hold on tight, beautiful.” He revved up the engine as I wrapped my arms around his waist and off into the city we raced.

Soon we arrived in the club district of Seoul. Han double-checked the address as he parked in front of a storefront with bright teal neon lights, casting dreamlike tints over Han’s features. My phone buzzed as I pulled my dress down a little further.

Do you trust Han?

His brows furrowed as he read over my shoulder. His hand on my waist did not go unnoticed.

The Watchers have decided

Let Han choose your tattoo. It must be at least 2 inches.

Reward: $9,500

“Holy shit. No way. My mom would kill me.” I said finally glancing up to read the neon sign. “What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?” Han said with a laugh as he dragged me by the hand into the parlor.

“What about a panther riding a lightning bolt?”

“I’ll murder you before the Watchers will ask me to.”

He laughed as he flipped through the book of designs as heavy rock music blasted through the shop. “What about dragons? Or Porky Pig!”

“You’re a duh-duh--duh-duh-duh-duh-douce.” The man prepping the tools laughed and pointed at Han. “Your girlfriend is hilarious. Keep her around.” Han sends me a wink when he sees my flustered face, and then returns to the book. The man, his name was Taehoon, then started to prep the area where Han said my tattoo should go.

“None of these are good enough.” “Han, please don’t make me regret this.”

“Hold on. I’ll just free draw it.”

“THAT’S LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SAID, YOU BITCH!”

Han panned my phone over to me to show my pissed off face as Taehoon helped me adjust my dress so he had room to work. After propping my phone up nearby to film he went back to drawing. “Taehoon, over here. “ The man came over needle tattoo thing in hand. “Can you do something like this, but less shitty?” He nodded and a huge grin encompassed his face. “Dude, yes! That is awesome!”

Taehoon came over and laid me on my stomach before giving me a hair tie to get my hair out of the way. The second the needle touched the base of my neck I gritted my teeth and tried to not cry out in pain.

“Han, I hate you so much.”

“Love you too.”

I stifled a scream by biting down on my arm. Suddenly a familiar tune started blasting through the shop. “Ohhhhh! This is a good song!” Taehoon exclaimed before going back to work on the tattoo that was now forming at the base of my neck. The first verse of Zico’s Bermuda Triangle rang throughout the small and neon-lit shop. He laughed when I started passionately singing along.

“Ow! Han this feels much bigger than two inches!”

“Chill baby, I’m just finishing the ‘y’ in ‘daddy’.”

“Taehoon! Han, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“He’s joking! He’s joking! You’re almost done, beautiful.” Han said filming the whole endeavor. To take my mind off the pain of the needle stabbing some weird design into my skin, Han distracted me by blasting Zico, reading off the funniest live comments, and letting me squeeze the living crap out of his hand.

“Okay. You’re done. Go view my work. Holy shit this is one of the best things I’ve done.” Taehoon said turning off his equipment and cleaning off the excess ink one last time. Han walked with me over to a floor-length mirror and turned me around. Taehoon pulled a handheld mirror from a drawer and handed it to me. I gasped, my eyes finally falling onto the tattoo on the back of my neck. It was gorgeous. It perfectly encapsulated what Han and I had talked about on the bench.

“Han...It’s perfect. Thank you.” I couldn’t stop looking at the art on my skin. The thin flowing lines perfectly made up two separate faces. He smiled as I went to kiss his cheek. He smiled and handed my phone to Taehoon to keep filming so we could show NERVE proof the dare was complete. Han pushed a stray piece of hair away from my neck as Taehoon zoomed in with the camera.

A few seconds later my phone went off with a notification. “Dare complete. You’ve got balls, little lady.” Taehoon said as he handed me back my phone. Han zipped my dress back up and checked my phone with me.

Dare Completed

Your reward has been deposited in your account along with and extra $500 for the Watcher gain.

Another notification popped up from my back saying a total of $10,000 was deposited in my account. I took out my debit card ready to pay Taehoon for the tattoo, but he stopped me. “Don’t it’s on the house. As long as you let me take a picture of it and promise to come back to me for your next tattoo.” He said with a smile before wrapping me up in a big bear hug.

With the picture taken Han and I exited the shop and walked towards his bike. “So how painful was it actually? On a scale of one to ten.” “I don’t maybe a 6.7.”

Ding

Han pulled his phone out of his pocket and swiped to unlock the device. A bright smile slipped over his face.

Han, do you trust Y/n?

“Ohhhhhhh do I have a tattoo for you!” I said pulling his arm back towards Taehoon’s shop. “Wait, they sent another message.” I stopped and pulling and looked at his phone.

Get to 60mph blindfolded.

Reward: 4-year tuition payment

4-year tuition payment? I thought Han said he was at JYP? “Holy shit...Of course, they would know about his tuition.” Han mumbled under his breath. Suddenly a loud roar came down the street along with deafening EDM music. A huge jeep came cruising down the street and stopped in front of us. The driver's side door opened to reveal the blonde boy from the department store.

“Chan?”

“Don’t mind me, Han. Just finishing a dare. Hold this for me would you, hot stuff?”

He handed me a Twice bumper sticker that was a little under a foot long and held up his phone so that NERVE could see his dare was completed. “I’ll see you guys in the finals!” With that, the blonde boy, Chan, drove off into the night.

“There is no way I can do this.” Han turned to me. There was a little bit of panic in his eyes. “What? No Y/n I need your help! I can’t do this without you!” He grabbed my shoulders trying to keep me to stay. “Han this is too much for me. It’s dangerous! I don’t want to do this. I’m done.”

“Y/n, please! Listen, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll do anything you want me to if you help me. Please, I don’t have a choice.”

“You don’t have a choice?”

“That’s not what I meant. My hyung, his tuition. My parents can’t afford to pay for it. Please, Y/n! I trust you. I know we can do this.

I looked down at his hand gripping tight onto mine. Han had completely changed. He was desperate. His brown eyes pleaded with me, begging me to say yes. I let go of his hands and a sadness and panic filled his face. I took the helmet that was hanging off the bars of his motorcycle and placed the Twice sticker across the visor, before handing it to Han.

“Okay...”

Part 2?

REQUEST ARE OPEN (just send me an ask!)

Masterlist

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 5 years ago

Note

The spanish league is more difficult to follow because 1.) their games are hard to watch. Like literally— I feel like I have to go on an CIA mission anytime I try to find how I can watch and 2.) as an English speaker, it’s hard to get to know everyone when commentary is in a language I don’t understand :( (also I’m not the same poster as before, but feel very similarly so I’m hopping on the train) I like a lot about the Spanish league, but they make it so difficult to watch

fair enough with the second point especially, it’s a lot harder to get into a league when you don’t understand what’s being said or talked about that I completely get. However, the more you do it the less you notice, for example the more I’ve got into the German league and the more I’ve found out about it on here then the less I notice the fact that I don’t understand the commentary and I rather just focus on what tumblr is exposing me to and just the games themselves. But I definitely understand how it’s much easier to get on board a league in a country which speaks the languages you do than to get on a foreign speaking one.

As for your first point I wouldn’t say that this is necessarily true!! Last year all Tacon/RM’s home matches were streamed on Real Madrid TV and Barcelona’s ones on Barca TV, neither of which need a VPN to access. Then quite a few other matches you can find on Gol TV which is free but you just need a VPN to access and the rest are shown on Movistar+ which is subscription based but there will always be less legal streams around. However, a Canadian platform called onesoccer apparently also streams two matches a week with english commentary with a one month free trial before becoming subscription based. So that could really kill two birds with one stone in the sense of it being in English too!!

It’s certainly a lot more difficult to watch than the WSL is with the FA Player and the NWSL is being with them using Twitch, but there’s certainly a lot of places to access Spanish matches too! Once the league starts back up I’ll try to compile a weekly list with all the matches and if/where they’re going to be streamed to see if that helps you be less at a loss of where to watch!

#okay ive.decided i need to go sleep so no match for me #sorry guys :/#primera iberdrola #how to watch #the asks

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marshmallowprotection · 5 years ago

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how would seven react if he had to find this other hacker, someone who's a legend and feared by everyone, even the government, only to find that they're a heavily introverted 13 year old with social anxiety who never leaves their apartment/basement/bunker? like, they get everything delivered outside their door and just... don't really interact with people? like.... how would he react?

Seven

He’s known to be one the best of the best.

It’s a title that comes after a lot of hard work and non-stop grinding to become better than anyone else in the room. It took him a few years to get to where he is and there’s hardly anyone that stands a league ahead of him. That is, until recent months, a new hacker came out of thin air and started to dominate web-spaces like it was candy.

Seven cannot believe it. This hacker is as good as him, or damn near better then he is. Whoever they are, they’re fast, concise, and they can rig a virus-like nobody else.

They tend to be using their power for the sake of pranks, or for others. Most of the time there are pages overrun by cat photos or petty memes that make the rest of the world laugh. They’ll ruin a website in minutes, for say a particularly popular company by revealing shady practices that were hidden in emails or out of plain sight.

They seem to have the power to call out anyone who isn’t being true to their word. It starts to get dangerous as the months go by and they get even more brazen. The government is on careful watch, and even Seven’s agency has to keep an eye out for this hacker because whoever they are, they have no alignment to anyone but themselves.

Seven doesn’t have anything against them, per se. He saw them singlehandedly help a group of foster kids by revealing the person overseeing them as a con. This hacker is always helping kids that don’t have anyone or those that don’t have a voice to defend themselves. It’s sweet in a sense.

They aren’t causing harm.

But, something that is so righteously good scares those in power in a bad way because they know someone has power on them that they shouldn’t have, and since he’s one of the recognized members in his agency, he’s the one sent to track them down and either take them down or get them to join the agency.

Seven has no choice but to obey those orders. Vanderwood won’t be long behind if he hesitates to get the job down. He really doesn’t want a taser on his ass. So, he makes a point of trying to locate where this hacker is staying in the world, and he’s surprised to find that they weren’t all that far from him.

It took a lot of grinding behind firewalls and VPNs, and other countless layers to get an address. There was a small window of time when they had their back turned, and that’s how Seven was able to find it. He set out not long after he found it because if they noticed Seven worming around their things, they would likely run.

Seven went straight to the address but he scoped it out from afar for a few days, nobody went in, and nobody came out. Things were often brought to the house but that was it. They would get pulled inside in the dead of night under the cover of the darkness so he couldn’t make out the figure of the hacker or whoever was staying with them.

Strange?

Well, not really.

Hackers are a strange bunch of people that really have a lot of quirks that nobody else has.

It takes some work, but he finds an opening to head inside the hacker's house once he’s certain that he’s learned their routine, he’s armed just in case but this is supposed to be a civil mission first and foremost, so it’s tucked out of sight.

He crawls in through a side window without making any noise, wandering around the apartment and trying to locate them, or learn more about them, much to his surprise, it’s a quiet apartment. It’s got all the telltale signs that someone lives there but there’s dust covering some of the furniture here and there.

There’s not a lot of life to be seen but there are photos of a family here. He can’t be certain when it was taken but there’s a young kid, and two parents in it.

“Must be one of the parents,” he mutters to himself.

Imagine his surprise when he enters the last room at the end of the hall and finds a teenager, no, literally a preteen, eyes deadset on their monitor and fingers clacking away against the keys with fever. He can’t help but gasp and that gives him away to the kid.

The kid jumps to their feet and stares at him with fearful eyes. It seems that they didn’t consider putting up cameras or anything to watch over their apartment, and hadn’t realized that someone had managed to find their way inside.

They seem to know that this isn’t just a home invasion by someone who wanted to take stuff.

“Am I in trouble? Who sent you? Where are you from?!” they asked, voice shaking alongside their knees, “I’d like to know if you’re just a burglar or somebody from one of the agencies that I pissed off? I knew it, I knew that I shouldn’t have gone into those databases--”

“Wow, wow, relax. I’m not going to do anything,” he quickly raises his hands above his head and steps back so that there’s plenty of space between the both of them. “I’m just here to find out who this notorious hacker is... are you... are you the hacker that’s been making so much trouble?”

They slowly, but surely, nod their head.

Well, that makes things a hell of a lot different and fast. He can’t believe that he’s been fighting a kid of all people and this kid is someone that lives all on their own. Their parents died a ways back and they’ve been fending for themselves here in this apartment. They don’t know how to handle the outside world so great anymore.

So, they started living their lives online. That allowed him to keep tinkering and playing around with programs and books until they were basically on par with him. They were bored and lonely. They had nothing better to do until one day they stumbled on a crack in a website, allowing them to backdoor into their information.

Once they saw something, they knew that they had to help others or else nobody else would.

It snowballed from that point.

Seven... felt really conflicted. They told him that he had no choice but to get rid of or recruit this hacker to the agency, but nope, no way in hell was he going to get a kid involved in this lifestyle. He had been there and as much relief as he felt to save his brother, he hated living this way and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone who had a choice.

He ignores those thoughts and starts thinking of a way to let his agency know that he had simply gotten rid of the hacker without actually doing it. Because hey, he’s not going to hurt a kid. He’s also not going to let them jump into this.

Nope.

No way.

This kid is scared, nervous, and afraid. They just wanted to help others that needed it. There was nothing wrong with that. He sees their pain and he seems himself in their eyes. He spends the rest of the night talking to the kid about his own experiences and how he discovered his love of technology and slowly but surely, they open up to him about their own circumstances.

It takes a bit of time, but they start to trust him.

Seven lies to his agency and to Vanderwood about what he did after he lives the kid in their apartment. They know how to fend for themselves so he does let them handle themselves for a period of time but he’s constantly checking up on them and making sure that they’re safe and sound from threats.

He does help them learn how to protect themselves and their apartment from outside threats. They’re a cautious kid, and they know that they need to be more careful and wary. Seven helps them become much better at what they’re doing but he does ask that they never lose that belief in their heart to be a good person with this power.

Although, the cat memes stay.

They got Jumin Han really good with those cat memes since Seven asked them if they could do it. Now, that was hilarious. Seven becomes a big brother figure to this kid, and he really cares for them a lot. He often does joke to the rest of the RFA that he's got a little stray that he takes care of often that’s to blame.

Nobody believes him.

He wants to protect them and he wants to make sure that they’re alright. He checks up on them every day and if anything feels weird, then he spends time talking to them and reassuring them of any of their fears that they may be having.

It’s actually six months after he meets the kid that the incident with Unknown happens and he starts speaking to the kid a little less often, and the kid reaches out to him in midst of the drama. They offer to help him track down the other hacker so he can focus on maintaining his systems, and while he hates to involve them, they really make things a lot easier for Seven.

It’s obvious that Seven is really struggling with his MC at the time too, and the kid is the one to tell him off for being a dumbass. It’s the first time that shy little kid is brazen enough to tell somebody off. They’re partially the reason that Seven gets off his high-horse and starts to open up to his MC in the apartment.

The kid is the reason that it doesn’t take Seven as long as to realize that he can care about others and make a difference. It’s okay for him to lean on others. Be it his MC, or the kid.

You know what, the kid probably reached out to the MC more than once during the experience but Seven doesn’t know about that because the kid asked MC not to say anything about it. Seven only figures that out when he gets a call from the kid after he and MC have made up and they blurt out if Seven has finally admitted that he likes MC.

“...I didn’t tell you about that, kid.”

“Oopsy daisy.”

“I told them, Seven. Don’t get angry at them because I don’t know when to stop talking!”

After Seven works everything out with his brother and he’s free from the agency, able to live with his brother in peace without worrying about fear or harm, the kid has no choice but to move in with Seven, Saeran, and MC. Neither MC nor Seven wanted them to live alone anymore because they didn’t have to do that anymore.

That kid had a family.

And it was apart of what Seven was building with MC.

So, MC and Seven basically adopt the kid and they move in with them all, and they get to have a family again. MC dotes on them, and Seven teases them. Even Saeran is really fond of the kid but he won’t outright admit it to anyone.

The RFA takes to the kid rather quickly too!

Yoosung is happy that he isn’t the youngest person anymore and he makes fast friends with the kid, becoming a mentor of sorts.

Zen promises to be a person they can turn to when they need advice but they should know that he’ll defend their honor.

Jaehee is a great role model for them who tries to remind them to take care of themselves.

Jumin finally knows who was sending him all those cat memes, honestly, he liked them and he and the kid have a hilarious banter about them now.

This once very young and nervous hacker now has a family all of their own thanks to Seven’s warm heart.

#anon #ask #kid hacker au #mod kait #mystic messenger #mysticmessenger #mysme #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #seven mm #mm seven #mysme seven #seven mysme #seven mystic messenger #mystic messenger seven #707

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ackermancurse · 6 years ago

Text

Far From Love [1]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 4348

Warnings: Far From Home Spoilers!!!, mentions of Tony’s death, FLUFF, small cursing

Summary: Peter has a plan to get you back after your 8 month break: Confess his love to you in Europe. Unfortunately there are some minor setbacks.

AN: I am so so so happy that so many of you have enjoyed the teaser so hopefully this keeps you interested!

add yourself to the taglist

“I have a plan to get y/n back and it’s gonna happen on the trip,” Peter exclaimed to his best friend Ned sliding into the seat next to him. You had been together for 5 months prior to the snap, both being dusted. You guys broke up 2 weeks after your dad’s funeral, you couldn’t look at Peter without seeing your dad. It was too much for you and as much as you wanted to stay with him, the pain was just too fresh and you said you just needed some time and space.

Ned sighs and sets his phone face down on the table, “Peter I thought she told you she would tell you when she’s ready.”

Peter presses his lips tightly together, “Uh yeah well she um did but call me crazy but I-I think she’s ready. Just hasn’t told me yet?” The last part comes out almost like a question and Ned shakes his head.

“I don’t know man… But what’s your plan?”

Peter smiles, “Okay first I’m gonna sit next to y/n on the flight.”

“Second I’m gonna buy a dual headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.”

“Three when we go to Venice--Venice is super famous for making stuff out of glass right?”

“True-” Ned interjects.

“So I’m gonna buy her a black spider necklace because of-”

“How you guys met,” Ned inputs again.

“How we met,” Peter smiles softly before continuing.

“Four when we go to Paris I’m gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace and then five I’m gonna tell her I love her,” Peter takes a deep breath and leans closer to Ned.

“And then six hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.”

Ned nods and points to Peter’s notebook, “Don’t forget step seven.”

Peter quickly grabs his pen, “Step seven…”

“Don’t do any of that,” the dark skinned boy says and Peter rolls his eyes.

Looking back up to Ned Peter sighs, “Why?”

“Because she needs to tell you she’s ready. I know how much you love her dude but I think there’s a reason why she said she needed some time and space.”

Peter’s head falls into his hands and he rubs his temples. He knows Ned is right but something has been telling him to just go for it. He catches you staring at him at random times in class and instantly look away. He’s seen you come up to talk to him at his locker but walk the other way. He’s seen you typing in your text messages and delete the words quickly.

“Look I really love y/n man. She’s awesome, she’s super funny in a kinda dork way and-” he sees you walking towards him and Ned with MJ. “-shes coming now don’t say anything!”

You walked behind your best friend MJ. You have been telling her for the past 3 months how much you miss Peter. She was the only one who knew that you wanted him back but the amount of times you chickened out on telling him is mindblowing. You were scared it was too soon. You were scared that because of your time apart Peter stopped liking you.

“Whaddup dorks? Excited about the science trip?” MJ asked and you tried to hide your embarrassment as much as possible.

Peter sees you and his breath hitches. You looked even more beautiful than yesterday, you always looked more beautiful than the day before to Peter. He smiles at you and you smile back.

“Hey uh yeah we’re just talking about the trip,” Peter looks to Ned for help.

“Yeah and Peter’s plan!” You look at Peter curiously and Peter’s face scrunches up. Peter wanted to hide in a hole at that exact moment.

“You have a plan?” MJ asks the question you were wondering.

Your attention all on Peter and he feels his mouth become dry, “I don’t-- I don’t have a plan.”

“No he’s just gonna collect tiny spoons while we’re traveling to other countries,” Ned winks discreetly to Peter thinking he saved the day.

Peter’s head droops down, “Like- Like a grandmother?” MJ questions with a laugh.

“I’m not collecting tiny spoons-” Peter starts but you cut him off.

“Because he collects postcards from wherever he goes. Sent me one from Germany a couple years ago.”

Peter smiles at you and you tuck your hair behind your ear. You feel yourself blush. Peter Parker still made you feel the same way when you first met him.

MJ looks to you with a knowing look and laughs again, “Well anyways that was a rollercoaster of emotions so we’re just gonna go… By the way travel tip, you should probably download a VPN on your phone just so the government can’t track you while we’re abroad.”

She walks off but you stay standing in front of the table twiddling your thumbs.

“Nice seeing you Peter,” you say with a soft grin before walking away and patting Ned on the shoulder.

“N-nice seeing you too y/n,” he replies back and watches you leave and look over your shoulder giving a small wave before disappearing into the hallway.

He sighs with a smile across his face. He was going to get you back.

The next day before the big trip, Peter packed up all his Star Wars toys that adorned his room and placed them carefully into a big box. He was able to calculate how much money he’d get if he sold them and it was the perfect amount for the necklace he planned to buy you.

He lugged around the large cardboard box 10 blocks from his apartment to a store that was willing to buy his figurines for crazy numbers.

Well crazy numbers for a highschooler.

As he was setting each figurine down onto the counter the guy at the register only had one question, “Why are you selling these now when you could wait a couple more years so they’re worth more?” He slurped on a Cherry Coke.

Peter gave a side smile setting down the last one, “I found the one… She deserves something special. I’d rather have her now and forever rather than a million of those figurines.”

Later that night Aunt May walked into Peter’s room to say goodnight and before she closed his door she paused. Something was different. She looked around his room. Huh, no more Star Wars?

“Hey Peter what happened to all your Star Wars stuff?”

Peter sat up in his bed and reached to his bedside table to grab his wallet. He showed her a large stack of cash and she sat at the edge of his bed wide eyed.

“Wh-What’s all this money for?” She counts it and her jaw drops.

“Uh I’m planning on getting y/n back by the end of the trip. I-I’m gonna tell her I love her.”

May hands the money back to her nephew and watches as he carefully places it back into his wallet. A spiderman wallet. What a jokester.

She saw the look in his eyes when he said your name. She knew that he adored you with his whole being. She knew he was absolutely gutted when you guys called it quits. She heard his sniffles that night and watched him slug around the house for a solid week.

You were good for him. You brought him out of his shell. You truly brought out the best in him.

She smiled and grabbed his hand, “She’s a lucky girl Peter.”

He shakes his head, “No I’m the lucky guy.”

The following morning Peter could hardly contain his anxious thoughts. He rushed around his bedroom picking which shirts to bring. He brought each shirt that you said you loved on him when you guys were dating. He made sure to bring your favorite hoodie just in case things went according to plan then you could wear it on the trip back home.

As they neared the airport Peter’s leg bounced up and down in the passenger seat while he rubbed his hands together. Wow he was seeing you in less than 10 minutes.

“Peter everything is gonna go fine! Don’t worry too much,” May soothed her anxious nephew while pulling into a parking spot.

The engine shuts off and Peter lets out the biggest sigh ever, “I hope you’re right May… I really do love her and I want us to happen again.”

Peter walks through check-in and that’s when he sees you. He feels his chest tighten and its like you literally take his breath away.

You were wearing one of his old jackets over a regular t-shirt and some jeans. Your hair was up and out of your face. You had no makeup on but you didn’t need it anyways, that’s what Peter thought at least.

Deep in your conversation, MJ nods her head in a sly manner looking behind you and you turn to see Peter. His pupils were dilated largely, neither of you could see it, but they were. Clear sign of being in love. This boy was head over heels for you. He had it bad.

“Oh god he knows I’m wearing his jacket,” you whisper to MJ and feel yourself blush, “I always felt so stupid not giving it back to him but I also couldn’t give it back. I needed it with me. It was the closest thing I had to him.”

MJ rolls her eyes and walks towards Peter leaving you stunned but you drag your feet behind her, “MJ!” you whisper yell, “MJ what the hell are you do-- Hi Peter!”

There you were. Now standing in front of your ex that you desperately wanted back.

You kept it. 8 months later and you kept it. A random zip-up jacket that you borrowed when you were over at his place studying for a chemistry test. If Peter wasn’t already deeply in love with you before he definitely was now.

“H-Hey y/n,” Peter’s heart was beating so hard that he thought it was going to break through his chest. God why were his hands so sweaty?

MJ looked between the two ex-lovers, “So I’m gonna go use the bathroom before we head on the plane.”

You shoot her a look, ‘You better not leave me alone. Not right now.’

She shrugs her shoulders and turns to walk towards the bathroom.

You laugh nervously, “Typical MJ huh?”

Peter locks eyes with you and now it was your turn to hold your breath. He was wearing a blue flannel with a matching blue jacket over top. A strand of his hair drooped against his forehead before he rushed to set it back into place.

“Yeah totally. So uh how have you-- how have you been?” Peter stuffs his hands into his pockets and you switch your balance from your heels to the balls of your feet.

“I’ve been good. Can’t complain too much I’ve just watched Morgan everyday after school so,” you attempt to look everywhere except Peter’s eyes. Not the big brown eyes.

Peter chuckles, “Man I miss that little rugrat.” Do you miss me?

You laugh this time too, “Don’t worry she misses you too. Made sure to remind me to say hi to you… Courtesy of her.”

A silence looms over the two of you. Where’s MJ when you need her?

“Hey guys are you ready for this trip?” Ned exclaims and the two of you sigh. Saved by the best friend.

When MJ finally finds you again you’re sitting on the ground in front of the boarding area with your hood-- Peter’s hood-- over your head.

Why are you so stupid y/n? It’s just Peter. That’s the point, it’s Peter.

MJ sits on the ground next to you with a quiet laugh, “Now that-- that was beautiful to watch.”

You give her a glare but she continues to laugh, “Ha ha very funny. Set up the exes so they have to talk to each other. Well played MJ.”

She shakes her head and grabs a banana out of her bag, “Hate me all you want but you know that it felt good to actually speak more than two words to him. So I believe I deserve a thank you,” she takes a bite out of her now freshly peeled banana.

As much as you hate to admit it she was right. It felt so good to finally talk to Peter again. All those old feelings came back.

“Thank you,” you mumble with your hand in front of your mouth.

“Hm what was that I couldn’t quite hear you?” Liar.

“Thank you,” you say again but turn your head away from your best friend.

“I didn’t catch that sorry what?” MJ you’re the worst.

“THANK YOU!” you let out and she had the cockiest grin on her face.

She laughs again, “You’re welcome.”

On the opposite side of that same area Peter and Ned were discussing video games.

Well Ned was. Peter was still thinking about you.

“Hello earth to Peter?” Ned asks while waving a hand in front of his best friend’s face.

He finally looks at him, “What? Sorry Ned I have a lot... on my mind.”

Ned looks to where Peter is looking and follows it to see you laughing with MJ while you watch something on her phone, sharing earbuds.

Peter had a small grin on his face as he watched your nose crinkle when you laughed. Wow he missed hearing your laugh.

Ned sighs.

“Alright talk to me,” he closes his laptop and shoves it back into his backpack.

If he starts talking he’s not gonna be able to stop.

He starts small.

“She’s wearing--” Peter starts and looks at you throw your head back in laughter, “She’s wearing my old jacket.”

Ned looks to you. Well look at that you were.

That’s when Ned smiles a little. He remembers Peter wearing that jacket.

“How’d your conversation go before I interrupted? Sorry about that by the way,” Ned opens a pack of fruit snacks and offers Peter the bag.

Peter takes a few. Smiling when he sees his hand is filled with the red ones. Those were your favorite. Peter’s too but he would let you have all the red ones in the pack every time.

“Well it went uh pretty good but I was nervous as hell. It was our first time having a full conversation since the breakup. She looks prettier today right? Like it’s crazy how pretty she looks today,” Peter continues to stare at you while you pick out the purple and orange fruit snacks from your bag and hand them to MJ. He laughs to himself.

‘That’s my girl.’

“Dude its normal to be nervous when you talk to an ex don’t worry. How did she seem when she talked to you?” Ned crumpled the empty bag and tossed it into a nearby trash can.

That’s when Peter finally looked at Ned, “She seemed nervous too,” he remembers how you were fumbling with the sleeves of your jacket-- his jacket-- and switching your balance.

You did that all the time before Peter asked you to be his girlfriend. You did that when you first noticed your crush on him.

Peter’s heart leapt in his chest.

Does she want me back too?

Boarding the plane was when Peter felt like he could throw up. This was it. A long, long flight to Venice. He checked his back pocket and felt the dual headphone adapter.

He had Ned help him with a booger check.

He sat next to Ned in their seats and watched as more people boarded the plane.

Everything was going smoothly until, “Yo Parker this is called an airplane. It’s like the busses you’re used to except it flies over the poor neighborhoods instead of driving through them.”

Flash. Ugh.

Is that champagne he’s holding?

You roll your eyes when you hear Flash’s comment. Typical.

“Ma’am he blipped so technically he’s 16. Not 21,” you call down the flight attendant. Flash gives you a glare.

“I’ll take that,” she says and grabs his cup.

Flash shakes his head at you but you just laugh. You don’t mess with my boyfr- Peter.

“She’s lying! I don’t even know this girl!” He rushes to follow the poor lady.

You face Peter and give him a small smile.

You nod your head and continue down the line.

Peter feels himself unable to breathe again.

“Classic y/n right?” a deep voice says and Peter turns his gaze to him.

Brad Davis.

Brad didn’t get snapped so he grew 5 years older.

Peter hated to admit it but he was ripped.

He knew tons of the girls in school were after him. But he pretended like they weren’t

Brad followed in pursuit behind you and he feels his jaw clench.

He rolls his eyes.

“Did you know Brad was coming?” Peter asks Ned after he passes.

“Man it’s so weird. One day he’s that little kid who cried and got nosebleeds all the time and suddenly we blip back and he’s totally ripped and super nice. And all the girls are after him,” they both watch as you struggle to place your carryon perfectly on top.

Brad helps you and adjusts other luggage and you smile at him.

He smiles back.

Oh no. Not you.

“Not all the girls are after him,” Peter tries to brush off.

Please not you.

“No man… They’re all after him.” Thanks Ned. Thanks a lot for that.

Peter feels his heart break a little when he hears you laugh.

You laugh because of Brad. He said something funny and you gave him one of your genuine laughs.

Please for the love of god not you too.

Peter stays watching at the two of you. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Anyways onto more important things. It’s a nine hour flight. We can play Beast’s Lair the whole time,” Ned pulls out his laptop again.

Peter sees you take a seat behind Brad.

Nope he wasn’t having it.

He needed to sit next to you. Talk to you.

Watch the movies that he knew you liked.

This was his time. It was now or never.

��I need your help to sit next to y/n,” Peter whispers to his best friend and Ned sighs.

Not this again Peter.

“Seriously?” Ned asks.

Peter looks at him surprised, “Yes, seriously.”

“What about y/n? She said she would tell you when she’s ready. You don’t wanna push too hard Peter,” Ned continues and he looks at you again.

He sees you giggle with MJ and Betty.

“I just need to know if my instincts are right,” he watches as you fix your hair, “please.”

Ned rolls his eyes for the millionth time. Poor poor Peter.

He had it really bad.

“Ugh fine… But you owe me,” Ned picks up his things and heads over to your row.

Peter doesn’t really pay attention to what is being said.

He’s too nervous to listen.

He just looks at you.

He sees you look over to him and shake your head with a smile.

Oh god what did Ned say?

Next thing you know it Mr. Harrington is moving people around.

“Ned take MJ’s spot. MJ take y/n’s. And y/n take mine Peter you come with me! No Perfume allergies on my watch,” Peter is shocked.

He watches as you slip next to Brad.

It feels like he was shot in the heart.

You giggle as you try to get through the little space you had.

Mr. Harrington starts walking towards the back of the plane and Peter grumbles.

Not exactly the person he wanted to be sitting next to.

As he grips onto his backpack in a fist he catches your eye.

He looked annoyed as he argued with Ned using only his eyes.

You knew Peter didn’t have a perfume allergy.

Pollen allergy sure. Really bad allergies during the first few weeks of spring. But perfume allergy? Not a chance.

What was he up to? Did he just want to finish your conversation from earlier?

You give him a smile and give him a knowing look. His face blushes red and he shrugs.

‘I tried,’ he mouthed and walked to where Mr. Harrington was.

You giggle and Brad looks at you.

Yeah Brad was attractive but he wasn’t Peter.

You could tell from a million miles away Brad had a crush on you. It was painfully obvious.

Unfortunately for him you didn’t feel the same way. Especially not after today.

You had eyes for Peter and only Peter.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Brad asks and you direct your attention to the boy sitting next to you.

He held a dual headphone adapter between his fingers.

You shrug, “Sure. Can we watch a comedy though?”

Peter hated seeing you so close to Brad.

Not that he didn’t think you can have guy friends because go for it. Have all the guy friends you want.

But knowing Brad, he didn’t like how this was going.

The world-- no, no-- the universe was against you two.

Mr. Harrington was blabbering on and on about his ex wife and Peter felt bad that he wasn’t paying attention but he couldn’t stop looking at you.

You laughed loudly and tried to cover it up using your hand. Brad looked at you and you leaned in closer to the screen in front of Brad. Your head inches away from his shoulder that you could almost just rest it there.

Peter felt the anger and jealousy boil up inside of him.

Green doesn’t look good on you Peter.

Peter felt a head against his shoulder and Mr. Harrington had fallen asleep.

Great. Just perfect. Thank you universe.

Scrolling through the movies he sees him. Your dad.

He feels his heart stop.

He quickly looks back up to you, still laughing away.

Did you see the movie too? If you did, did Brad at least quickly scroll past it so you wouldn’t feel the pain?

Peter missed Mr. Stark. God he really missed him.

He missed when he would pick on him every time he was over at your place.

“Parker remember don’t break my baby girl’s heart or else…” Tony would always say.

In the beginning it would freak him the hell out. But once he saw you more and more he just took it as he pleased. Tony and Peter knew that he would never do anything to hurt you.

He was a good kid.

The seatbelt light came off and Peter climbed over his fast asleep teacher who he had pushed away a while ago.

When he walked out of the tiny airplane bathroom he saw you. You smiled and out of nervousness he walks back into the confined place and shuts the door.

He instantly goes full panic mode and literally cleans the entire restroom. Just for you.

Wiping the toilet, the sink, the mirror, everything.

He flushes the toilet again and washes his hands.

He spends a little too long on his hair and smiles in the mirror.

Before opening the door, he takes a deep breath. This was it. An interaction that could at least hold him through to the end of the flight.

He opens the door and doesn’t see you but Brad.

Ugh.

His face falls but Brad’s has a smile plastered from ear to ear. Of course he was smiling. He was sitting next to the prettiest girl in the world.

“Man y/n is so funny. You were a lucky guy Peter,” Brad mentions before entering the tiny bathroom.

“Yup. I was a lucky guy,” Peter gritted through his fake smile and watches Brad close the door.

He throws his hands up in frustration. He can’t catch a break can he?

That’s when the next door bathroom opens and he’s facing you again.

“Well this seems familiar,” you joke and Peter laughs.

God you were so pretty.

Peter wished he could kiss you right now.

“Sorry about that… H-How was your movie?” Peter asks and you look down at the floor.

“It was good. Really funny. We should watch it together next time,” you add and don’t notice you say next time.

But Peter does and he feels his stomach do flips.

He smiles a big smile.

That’s when he feels the question that was on his mind the most since he saw the selection of movies.

“Did you see-”

You cut him off, “Y-Yeah.”

You knew it was coming. Brad saw it, glanced at you quickly and continued skipping through the movies. You saw it and felt your chest become heavy. And Peter saw it and wondered if you were okay.

“It was hard seeing his face but it was almost like he was telling me have a safe flight ya know? Well at least that’s what I-I think at least,” you see Peter’s face and regret saying the last part, “Nevermind that was stupid.”

You squeeze past him but he grabs your wrist out of instinct. You look back at him.

There they were. Those damn butterflies. Those damn sparks.

It’s the first time you guys had any physical interaction in 8 months.

He instantly lets go and coughs clearing his throat, “It wasn’t stupid,” you see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice that he meant it. You smiled.

“Just talk to me if you need to alright… I’m just a few rows back and I could use some saving from Mr. Harrington’s stories,” you laugh and give him a nod.

“Thanks Pete,” you head back to your seat and Peter feels like he can do a flip right now.

Pete. You called him Pete. The name you started using when you guys made your relationship official.

He really missed that name.

Tag list: @hollandcharm // @ghostlysweetsturtle // @imagine-lovebug // @squishychar1ie

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athenadcvell · 5 years ago

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Let’s make this a strict parent’s thread

Ok, everyone with strict parents. I’m boutta top y’all. And let’s all suffer together, so reblog with your own wild rules you have to follow

Fellin bored, so I’m boutta flex and just go ahead and hand my parents the most controlling and manipulative strictest parents of all time award

I have never been allowed to go to anyone’s house unless they were family

That literally means that growing up, if I was even invited to a birthday party, my parents would not let me go

Not one of my friends have ever been allowed to come over

Up until Sophomore year, I had never hung out after school with my friends

I maybe ever went to one birthday party, for, like, an hour

My dad gave me his old tablet when I was 12. He put restrictions so I could not access any web browser, the app store, or download games intended for children 12 and up

I was twelve

We have an alarm on our door. Not a system generated alarm that notifies police if there is an intruder. Nope. An alarm. You open the door or window? Alarm

I’m not allowed to open my windows and have my door locked. And no, I have not been caught smoking before, or sneaking out. My room is on the third level

I am not allowed to have my phone or laptop in my room, ever

I am not allowed to wear leggings

I am not allowed to wear shorts

I am not allowed to wear tank tops

I can’t wear ripped jeans or crop tops

I can not wear short dresses or skirts without wearing leggings underneath them (which is why I stopped wearing them all together)

I can’t leave the house wearing a shirt that shows my shoulders

I have never been allowed to date, or even hang out with guys

My mom says she’s fine with my hanging out with boys, but one time, one of my guy friends dropped me off home after school (there were two other girls visible in the car) and my mom thought he looked like a ‘drug dealer’. I ended up getting grounded for a week

I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 14

I literally do not have a curfew. Meaning, that I can be out of the house for maybe two or three hours before my mom drags my ass back in. God forbid I ask to stay out past 7

I can’t hang out two weeks in a row. I asked my mom once if I could hang out with my friends on Friday, and she said I was abusing her generosity because she had let me hang out with friends the Friday before

I literally can not even sit on our front porch because apparently I look like a ‘prostitute’

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

My mom makes me roll up my pads/tampons in toilet paper before throwing them in the trash bc the ‘men of the house’ don’t need to see that

the only one who cares is my misogynistic fuck of a father. I’ve asked my brother. He couldn’t give a shit

I can’t even say the word period out loud without getting yelled at

My phone and laptop both have internet restrictions on them, cause apparently, a fucking high schooler can’t be trusted on google

I literally have like 5 different VPN’s and Proxy’s downloaded on my computer

At 9, my WiFi cuts off. I’m the only one in the house who has to go through that

If I want an adrenaline rush, I go and ask my mom if I can hang out/ buy something. Get’s the heart beating real quick

Also works if I wanna be reminded of all the reasons why I’m such a failure and let down

I can’t spread my legs open wide while sitting down without my dad getting angry and yelling at me

On more than one occasion, my father has forced me to sit in the trunk of our car bc I did something to piss him off. The drive can range anywhere from 15 min to 3 hours. The first time he did this I was 9

Tbh this has started to become more of ‘reasons why my parents are such shitty people’ rather than ‘reasons why my parents are super strict’

There’s more, but Imma stop now.

If you got strict parents, add yours! Even if your parents are stricter, or not as strict as mine, it actually rlly helps to know that you’re not the only one in a wildly unfair and controlling household

P.S: Yes. I have broken almost every single one of these rules more than once. And yes. I have gotten in trouble. Trust me, I got the scars to prove it.

#NOT A PITY POST #DON'T GIVE ME SHIT THAT I'M FISHING FOR SYMPATHY #i just kinda wanted to tell someone about this shit #cuz most of the time #i feel like ppl dont believe me #and think im overexaggerating #if i could show you proof #i would #my parents are little asshole #i hate them #and no #i dont have to love them and be forever thankful to them bc they are my parents #they shouldnt have had fucking kids if they were gonna treat them like this #i ainnt your slave #anyways #im 18 in 2 yrs #and them im out #probably gonna have to live under a brige or some shit #but its better than living with them #only part that makes me super sad is that im gonna have to leave my cat too :'(#literally makes me wanna cry #i love her so much #like im the only one who shows her this much love #i let her run around and play and o crzy #and if i leave #nomo of that #oh well #gotta get out #rant

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1059

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - When you wake up, do you get up straight away or do you lie around in bed for a while? Lie in bed, even on work days. I work from home, so there’s nothing to prepare or look nice for, anyway. I can stay in bed and just roll out of it and head to my desk at 9 AM to start the day.

2 - Who was the last person you video-called with? Have you done this more often since COVID hit? Video calls make me anxious, so I’ve always turned them down even when it was someone I’m close with who was trying to call, like Angela. The only person I’ve felt comfortable having video calls with was Gab but that obviously hasn’t happened in a while. I think the last people I saw on video was my dad’s family, though I was still shy and asked my mom not to put me in the shot for too long.

3 - How many times a week do you go out for food or drink? Back then I’d do it 2-3 times a week. Then Covid happened and I had to stop; but now that I’m starting to try to put in more effort to take care of myself, I try to bring myself to a coffee shop for me time at least once during weekends.

4 - Do you prefer getting takeaway or actually sitting in a restaurant and eating your meal there? Dine-in. For me ambience is a big part of eating food, and even if I had the once-in-a-lifetime chance of getting to eat the absolute best meal in the whole world, if I’m eating it alone at home I would still feel like shit.

5 - Where’s your favourite place to get takeaway coffee (or whatever your drink of choice is)? Starbucks. We have five joints in the highway I live on alone, so it’s both a personal preference and a I-don’t-really-have-a-choice type of situation haha.

6 - Do you tend to keep your phone on silent, vibrate or loud? It’s on vibrate during work days; then I’ve formed a habit of putting it on Do Not Disturb during weekends or holidays.

7 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them annoyed you? What happened? Cooper thought my hand was a toy earlier so he was biting on it, and not in a very playful way.

8 - When was the last time you went into a bookshop? Around a week ago when I was buying presents; I needed to get my cousin the mechanical pencils and eraser she wanted for Christmas. I also came across the bookshop that Gab and I would make a habit to visit, but I didn’t go inside as I didn’t know if I was prepared for the memories that would inevitably flood back. I looked through the stuff they had on their windows, though.

9 - What was the last thing you ordered off Amazon? I don’t know if Amazon operates here. But the last thing I got from a local e-commerce app - don’t judge me HAHA - is a phone socket featuring the face of my newest K-drama crush. I placed my order literally 10 minutes ago.

10 - When was the last time you took a dog out for a walk? Is this your own dog or did you borrow someone else’s? Yesterday. Both were my family’s dogs.

11 - What jewellery do you have on at the moment? Not wearing any, haven’t worn any in a while.

12 - Do you have any products in your hair right now? What are they? Just shampoo and conditioner. I never put anything else on it; I don’t really deem hair products other than those two a necessity.

13 - Have you ever used a VPN to access foreign content online? Hahaha no. I’ve wanted to try it out, but I’ve always been paranoid that the NBI would come knocking at my door the moment I install one of those.

14 - Who was the last artist you listened to? Is this someone you’re a fan of? She’s a Korean singer named Cheeze, though she’s honestly unfamiliar to me. The song she contributed for the OST of Start-Up is my absolute favorite in the entire tracklist, and that’s how I knew of her.

15 - What was the last thing you had to drink? I’m at a cafe joint right now and they didn’t have my usual order of caramel macchiato, so I opted for a Spanish latté because it sounded new to me.

16 - When was the last time you cooked something for the first time? Did it work out the way it was supposed to? I made a Monte Cristo sandwich, if that counts as ~cooking; this was about a little more than a monthh ago. It worked out significantly better than I was expecting, given how rubbish I am in the kitchen. I lacked a couple of ingredients, like mustard for the sauce and the right kind of cheese, but I still ended up liking it.

17 - Black cats are considered to be bad luck - is this a superstition that you’ve ever believed in? Not me personally, but I know this is still widely believed in my country. It’s sad, so I approach black cats whenever I can and play with them for a bit.

18 - Would you ever eat blue cheese or do you find the idea of eating mould to be pretty repulsive? It is definitely not my favorite; I’d say 5 times out of 10 I would consume it, and the other 5 I would set it aside. I enjoy it the most in pizzas and as a sauce for chicken wings.

19 - Do you visit the dentist every six months like you should? Is that the standard schedule? Lmao. I only go when I have to.

20 - How old were you when you first used the internet? Was it dial-up or did you have access to proper broadband? I was first exposed to the internet at around the ages of 3 and 4, when my mom would use the dial-up internet to email my dad (he had just started to work abroad). For many years I thought Yahoo Mail was the only website that existed, since that’s all I saw my mom use. Eventually my dad got broadband for the family by the time I was 10, and the first website I ever looked up was YouTube.

21 - Are you old enough to remember using floppy discs? I remember those; I just never had to use them myself.

22 - When was the last time you purchased an actual DVD or CD? Andi gave me a Petals For Armor CD for Christmas, if it counts. Because they’re the most awesome fucking friend. The last DVD I bought myself was probably a Beyoncé's Life Is But A Dream, which was...holy crap, 7 whole years ago.

23 - Do you shave? Which body parts and how often? I do. I shave my underarms every few days, and my legs monthly.

24 - What’s your favourite season, and what are some of your favourite things about that season? We don’t have the usual four seasons we hear about in other countries; we only have wet and dry. Between those two, I definitely like wet more because I love the rain, and I like how cold it can get.

25 - When was the last time you burned yourself? I took a big bite of a lumpiang togue yesterday when it was still piping hot, so it felt like I almost burned my tongue and the roof of my mouth. But since I was a guest at my dad’s family’s house, I couldn’t spit it out.

26 - Have you ever been the victim of a theft or robbery? What was stolen? Did the police ever catch the person who did it? Someone stole my wallet in high school, and I never got it back. It was a small petty thing that the police didn’t need to be involved in, lol. I know my mom’s family got robbed when she was a teenager, though; the worst thing that got stolen was their grand piano :(

27 - What was the last TV show you discovered that you really liked? What was it that got you to watch it in the first place? START UP. I first heard of it from my co-workers who would mention the show here and there; and because I was new to the team and wanted to have something in common with them so that I can break the ice, I figured I should start on the show myself. Ended up getting obsessed with the show and gaining a new Korean crush altogether.

28 - Have you seen any of the live-action Disney remakes? Which one is your favourite? What about your least favourite? No, those have never looked even remotely appealing to me. I never saw the point of recycling movies that already exist and already feel magical by themselves.

29 - Do you have any exciting plans for tomorrow? If not, how are you planning to spend your day? It doesn’t sound exciting on its own, but I’m very much looking forward to be a homebody tomorrow haha. We’ve been with extended family for five days straight and I’m at a café right now for some me time, so tomorrow I can’t wait to just be at home and lounge around.

30 - Would you ever keep a working dog as a pet? Do you think it’s fair to keep dogs like huskies in flats when it’s so different to their natural environments? If the dog is already trained or certified to be a certain kind of working dog, I don’t see the point in keeping them for myself when they could be beneficial for other purposes. The only time I see myself adopting a working dog is if they’re already at the point of retirement and would need a loving home to live out their remaining years.

1 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Do you eat it on its own or as part of a bigger meal? Love garlic bread; I regularly have it with my pasta and occasionally, pizza.

2 - When was the last time your area was under some kind of weather warning? Did it end up being as bad as predicted? Last month, during Typhoon Rolly. Other cities had worse experiences, but it also wasn’t sunshine and rainbows on our end. We had a blackout for around two days and I had to file for an emergency leave four days into my new job, which was super embarrassing. It didn’t flood in our street but the water was high in other areas in our village, so we couldn’t go out for a while.

3 - Do you ever buy things from charity/thrift shops? What was the last thing you bought from there? I don’t recall ever buying anything from either.

4 - The last time you got fast food, did you eat in, takeaway or go through the drive-thru? My last fast food wasssssss Jollibee, and my parents got it for takeout so that we could eat as a family at home.

5 - If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Hahaha no they don’t. It’s been six months since we got Cooper but the two still don’t get along, unless it’s Kimi trying to hump him. It’s understandable; Cooper is a vibrant pup that’s super excited and play bites all the time, and on the other side is a nearly 13 year old, nearly blind, can’t-smell-as-well-as-he-used-to senior dog; and I get that Kimi’s more sensitive to sudden movements now.

6 - Do you ever buy things off eBay? If you do, do you participate in auctions or do you just use the “buy it now” option? I never go on eBay. And since I’ve never checked it out, I never understood the gimmick of the website.

7 - When you go out, do you worry that you’ve forgotten to lock the door or turn something off? Yeah, this is especially the case with locking the front door.

8 - What fruits and vegetables have you eaten so far today? Do you tend to get your “five a day”? I didn’t know five a day is a thing of some sort; but it’s only 8:47 AM and I haven’t eaten anything at all yet today.

9 - When was the last time you were in pain? What caused it and did you manage to get it sorted in the end? Last night when my back was giving me hell. As for the cause...idk, years of bad posture maybe? I was able to deal with it for a bit with the new massage pillow that my dad got for Christmas.

10 - Do you live in an area that gets lots of snow? Do you like it? If not, would you like to live somewhere that gets that cold? I would love to move somewhere that’s generally more cold. Humidity gets exhausting to deal with.

11 - What was the reason for your last doctor/hospital visit? My fever had already been lasting for a week and wasn’t showing signs of going away. No Covid symptoms, just pure hellish fever.

12 - If someone had told you that 2020 would see a global pandemic, countries going into lockdown, compulsory face masks and millions of deaths, would you have ever believed that you’d live through something like that? My personal biggest surprise for 2020 wasn’t even the pandemic. I would have had a more violent reaction if I was told I would no longer be in a relationship and be barely talking to my then-girlfriend of six years by the end of 2020.

13 - Do you prefer having the blinds/curtains open or closed when you’re at home? Does it depend on the weather or the time of day? Always closed. I don’t ever voluntarily open the curtains or windows to let the sunshine in.

14 - Do you use an ad-blocker on your computer or phone? Why/why not? I use one on my laptop because the ones on YouTube can be extremely annoying. I didn’t know it was possible to put on ad blockers on phones (is it?).

15 - Do you still use a paper diary/planner to organise your appointments and schedules? No, but I’m thinking of getting a planner again for 2021. I used to get a Starbucks planner every year just because I wanted to get into their Christmas promo hype, but I never completed any of them. Now that I’m working and am busier all around, I see the bigger need for a planner. These days, I use a Google extension called Momentum to list down my to-do tasks. My parents also got me a corkboard for Christmas on which I stick notepads with things I have to do for the day.

16 - When was the last time you charged one of your electronic items? Do you have to charge that specific item often? I’m charging my laptop now. At this point it’s always plugged in because I want to keep the cycle count low, though I’m not sure if it’s the healthiest thing to do.

17 - Have you ever thrown or broken something in a temper? Yes, definitely. I’m not normally aggressive when angry, but sometimes it happens.

18 - What does your outfit look like today? Did you pick it out for a special reason? I have on a black sundress that I didn’t change out of. I wore it yesterday when I went to a coffee shop to spend some time on my own.

19 - Do you follow any vlogs or podcasts? What is it about them that interests you? I do follow certain channels who do vlogs, but I never tune into them since most of them have gotten a little uninteresting. I’m also subscribed to several podcasts like Andi’s and Renee Young’s, but I’m not always in a podcast mood; I subscribe because I want to support them.

20 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you spend the most time on? Do you go through phases of visiting certain websites? I visit Twitter and YouTube the most often. I will binge Reddit every now and then, and I will get into a Wikipedia black hole at least once a week.

21 - Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? If you don’t have siblings, what about your cousins or extended family? I do not maintain a relationship with my brother after he physically assaulted me last year. My sister and I are on good terms, but we’re not close in that I can cry to her or that we know each other’s secrets. We have a very good casual relationship, and we never argue.

22 - When was the last time you were up early enough to see the sunrise? I hate the sun so I don’t really do that lol.

23 - What movie series did you last watch from start to finish? Was it one you’d seen before? I only ever do this with Twilight. I have my annual Twilight Saga marathon where I watch all five films in one afternoon hahaha.

24 - Do you still enjoy watching children’s TV programmes? What was the last one you watched? Yeah, but only the ones I watched as a kid. My cousins and I watched the Wet Painters episode of Spongebob last Christmas Eve right after we finished Midsommar.

25 - Who was the last person to tag you in something on social media? How do you know that person? I have no idea. I’ve been going in and out of deactivation, so at this point I’m sure people no longer have any clue if I’m on a certain social media website or not.

26 - What was the last thing you took a photograph of? It was a screenshot of something I wanted to show Angela.

27 - Are you a fan of giving animals human names? Sure. I certainly find it funny when pets are given incredibly ordinary human names, like Bob or Mark.

28 - When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with what the scale said? Christmas Eve eve, when I saw a weighing scale in my cousin’s room. I mean it’s what I’ve weighed for the last 5 years or so, so I have no complaints.

29 - How often do you buy yourself new clothes? What was the last clothing item you bought for yourself? Used to be a few times every month, but I have not bought anything new since before the pandemic. The last items I got were still the tops with puffed sleeves that I bought in March.

30 - What is the reason behind your mood today? Is this something you could have done something about? I’m mostly at ease; a little anxious because work continues for a certain headache of a client even though we told them our office would be on shutdown; and a little melancholic for no reason. I’m trying to combat the latter by doing my embroidery and it’s kind of helping, but the sads are still lingering.

#survey #surveys #multiple surveys

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aashiqeddiediaz · 5 years ago

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You know what my university just did.

They blocked half of the parking lot of my building for “social distancing”. This happens to be the same parking lot literally 80% of housing students who live in the residence halls (not apartments) park.

And I think they’re going through classrooms to adjust for 6 feet between each person. Most classrooms aren’t going to fit more than 5 people, and the lecture halls that seat 120 aren’t going to fit more than 15.

WHY. IF YOU’RE JUST GONNA DO THAT, KEEP THE WHOLE PLACE CLOSED WHAT THE FUCK. WE DONT NEED 6 DIFFERENT TYPES OF INSTRUCTION

I’m just saying, as a student, I don’t mind online classes if it keeps everyone (including these at-risk professors since virtually all of ours are pretty old) safe.

(ICE issue aside, because that’s a whole other rant that I don’t have the energy for right now)

As a housing resident, I don’t want to walk into another lobby of 30 people without masks. I want people to stay at HOME if they don’t live here!

As a daughter to parents who live abroad, I would rather stay in my dorm than be forced to attend classes because if I fall sick, they’re not going to be there for me, and god forbid if they fall sick, I can’t be there for them.

As an employee who’s running around the clock right now making sure everyone has internet, computers, VPN access, etc with only one employee under her belt to help, I’d rather do all that than put everyone at risk.

And as someone who teaches in those classrooms, I can tell you that no one is going to be sanitising every nook and cranny. We have like 5 year old gum still stuck to the desks and have never had soap in the dispensers.

AND AS SOMEONE HUMAN, I’D RATHER DO THE BARE MINIMUM TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE.

In conclusion, this world is FUCKED and I’m so MAD RIGHT NOW.

also wear your fucking masks/shields, stay the fuck at home if you don’t need to go out and just STOP being selfish.

#sorry this is totally a rant #can you tell i need hugs #this is just EXHAUSTING #zee stop using tumblr as your personal diary challenge #wear the mask #stay home

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synaptic-squalor · 4 years ago

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tumblr sucks

i wonder how long i’ll keep writing here. i downloaded a VPN to access a foreign broadcasting network’s live streaming services- i wanted to watch a new series that featured a tumblr account that i used to follow during my eating disorder days. the episode was mediocre but the nostalgia was worse.

so much has changed for me in the last year. i feel like i’ve had to kiss one of my deepest dreams goodbye, and confront things about myself that i’ve managed to avoid for years. my recovery seems to be well underway but in so many ways, it still feels as though i’m the same girl that started this account back in 2011.

i still don’t know what to do with myself. and so i came back here, because i used to spend hours, scrolling mindlessly, connecting far too deeply to the stories of folks i’ll never meet. but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. i switched to a new tab and searched google for “tumblr replacements,” and didn’t even bother looking at the results. next came “moving to australia,” and i closed that one after only a few more minutes of mindless scrolling. i feel extremely disconnected right now, and listless. time felt infinite back then- as though the future held opportunities, as though my potential was still a thing- but now, it feels as though these doors have permanently closed. i thought i knew myself, and i thought i was going somewhere, and that gave me courage...but this year has forced me to start all over again. and apparently, i’m just starting to get to know myself. i don’t know where the fuck i’m going, but i know i have to get out, and that i need some sort of radical change- something that may not be possible during these covid-times. I need to get out of Chicago, because there’s no growth for me here anymore.

and how will i get out? what will i do? how will i support myself? once you figure out that you actually don’t want the thing you’ve been working for, 10 years later...the thing you’ve given literally everything up for, and the thing that’s made you shirk relationships, opportunities and your sense of self along the way...once you figure that out, what do you have left, other than the vast emptiness this realization brings? this liminal space? some may call this an opportunity, but they must have a pain tolerance that’s much higher than mine. and i certainly haven’t been left with any answers.

if anything, i miss the sense of community and connection this place provided, and i hope that someday i can find something like this again, something i can turn to consistently. my real-life sense of community, true friendships i can lean on, have dwindled into nothingness- womxn my age prioritize their significant others, not their friends; society is set up, on so many levels, for monogamous, hetero relationships, and i’m not ready for any sort of relationship right now (though i desperately want to be in one). i feel like i’m too old to be here, even, and definitely too old to keep feeling sorry for myself.

so when the world starts up again, i’ll try to find a new hobby. i’ll try to feel more at home within myself, so that i can pick back up the ones i used to enjoy. when the world starts again, i’ll think about moving. i’ll think about the things i’d actually enjoy doing in a career, and i’ll come up with a side gig. i’ll leave the country when the world starts up again. i’ll start an actual, bonafide blog. and i’ll find a sense of belonging, somewhere, somehow, because i deserve that. in 2020, i finally acknowledged that i deserve that.

but i’ll never, ever find another tumblr.

#personal #lonely #change #self-growth

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iturbide · 5 years ago

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⭐⭐⭐⭐ Sorry, I know how you feel. Being at home all the time is getting mentally exhausting. Hang in there. Sending a star because I'd love to hear if there's something your excited to talk about.

I really appreciate it it’s just. Very tiring when nothing work reasonably through VPN (when it takes literally all day to do something that should have taken at most half an hour, there’s clearly a problem).

As Sully excused herself from the room, closing the door behind her, Chrom simply stood by the bed, unsure of what to do. What to say. What could he do to make any of this better?

…was there anything that could make this better?

The tactician had not put on his coat. But he had unfolded it, at least in part, pulling the hood over his head and draping the rest over himself where he lay curled on the mattress. The prince had so rarely seen Robin without it – seeing it like this…

Chrom swallowed back the fear lodged in his throat. “Robin?”

The tactician twitched, gasped, and curled inward. The prince stepped forward…and paused, unsure of what to do and terrified of doing something wrong. Of hurting him more. Gods, Chrom wanted to hold him, but if he caused Robin more pain–

“Chro-om…?”

The captain sat carefully on the edge of the bed, stroking the tactician’s cheek with a shaky hand. “I’m here,” he breathed.

Robin shifted. And struggled to lift himself up.

“No – gods, don’t try to get up–”

He was shaking. Chrom touched the tactician’s arm, gently, and felt the tremors spreading through him.

“Easy. Easy, just…” He hadn’t wanted to risk making things worse. But he hated to see Robin like this. Stretching out at the tactician’s back, the prince carefully slipped his arms around Robin’s chest, curling close around him. The tactician tensed, his breath ragged and short…

…and then the strength went out of him, and he crumpled into Chrom’s embrace.

They did not move for a few minutes. He held Robin as his breaths steadied, touching his forehead to the back of the hood and waiting for the tremors to ease.

“I love you.”

The words were small, muffled against the tactician’s cowl. But he felt Robin relax, even still.

“You shouldn’t say that here,” came the soft reply. “Someone could be listening.”

“Sully won’t let anyone snoop.”

“No, I mean Sully. And Kellam.”

“Kellam?” Chrom hadn’t seen a giant suit of armor outside the door…

“Sully recruited him.”

“Smart,” he murmured, nuzzling the back of the tactician’s neck. “But if we keep our voices down, they shouldn’t be able to hear, either. …and I wouldn’t care if they did.”

“You should.”

“Why?”

One of Robin’s hands settled over the prince’s. “This is a delicate situation. Another misstep will end badly.”

“Another?”

The tactician’s finger tapped Chrom’s knuckle. “Personally pulling me out of the dungeon. I think Sully managed to throw suspicion off of that one, but it raised questions.” Two fingers tapped his hand. “This room. Even Sully remarked on it.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s conspicuously close to the royal chambers and appointed far too well for a commoner granted an advisory position, even if it is intended as a reparation.”

Robin’s words grew weaker the longer he spoke, his breaths hitching painfully as he fought to inhale. The prince hushed him gently, and the tactician fell silent, his fingers trembling as they gripped Chrom’s. “You shouldn’t have to think about that now,” he murmured.

“I have to,” Robin mumbled. “Who else will?”

“I’ll try.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to attempt the direct approach again.”

The prince laughed. “No, not this time. …I may not be good at this, but in the past few weeks, I’ve…started to see things the way you do. I thought about this, if you can believe it.”

“Do tell,” the tactician chuckled.

“I talked to Sumia about it. And Lissa. And Lissa asked Maribelle, I’m pretty sure. Turns out this is the best place to put you. As my right hand advisor and the Shepherds’ tactician, who brought us home safe from Plegia, to offer you a lower room would devalue the work you’ve done for me and for the halidom. This is part of the esteemed guest wing, after all – though usually it’s just used by the council members when they can’t return to their own homes. And most of those rooms are a full suite like the royal quarter. The size and simplicity of this one won’t offend the nobles, but it still honors you.”

“And the décor?”

“You’ll be living here,” Chrom murmured. “The other rooms are full of things anyone would use on a visit. But this is your place. So it had to be a place you’d want to be, or you’d just go back to living in the archives.”

“I didn’t sleep there.”

“That’s because you never sleep.”

He heard Robin’s faint murmur of amusement and nestled closer. “Sumia picked the books. I arranged for the shelves and the desk, based on what you asked for the archive. Lissa – again, I think Maribelle helped – coordinated the decorations, though Sumia and I helped with the colors. …Sully said she thought you were going to start bawling when you walked in.”

“I was sorely tempted,” the tactician murmured.

“Do you like it, then?”

Robin laced his fingers with Chrom’s. “I’ve never had a place of my own before. A cot in the barracks isn’t the same. …this is…”

The prince squeezed his hand. “This can be your home. If you want it.”

The tactician made a small sound, and Chrom nestled closer. “Don’t cry…gods, Robin, don’t cry…”

“What if it can’t be, though?”

He frowned as the tactician began to tremble again. “Why couldn’t it?”

“Will they let me stay? With all these…these suspicions whirling around what happened?”

“…we’ll just have to take care of those suspicions, then.”

“How?”

“We’ll think of something. …but you need to rest. Try not to think too hard.”

“I will make an attempt,” Robin chuckled. “…you won’t be able to come back here for a while.”

“I know.” The knowledge weighed on his heart – he hated to think what Sumia must feel, unable to see the tactician at all. “But we’ll think of something.”

He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to leave the warm half-dark, he didn’t want to go back to keeping silent about something that mattered so much.

But he had learned a great deal in the past year. And he knew that their time was short.

Slipping gingerly away, the prince crossed to the far side of the bed and sat down again. Leaning in, Chrom cupped Robin’s cheek in one hand and lifted his head – just enough to press a soft, lingering kiss to his lips.

He felt the tactician smile against his mouth. As the prince drew back, pulling the coat closer over him, Robin nestled deeper into the mattress. “Tell Sumia I miss her,” he mumbled. “And I love her.”

“I’ll share that kiss with her, too,” Chrom chuckled, smoothing the dark hair hidden under the hood. “…get some rest.”

“I’ll try.”

He wished he could stay. Gods, he wished he could stay.

But he had run out of time.

So even though Future Built isn’t at the forefront of my writing projects, that doesn’t mean it’s ever far from my mind (because let’s be honest, it never is). I don’t know if people quite realize it, but I have nearly 200k words written so far, a not insignificant chunk of which represents scattered events from further along in Arcs 2 and 3 of the story. And this is a piece of one of my favorite plot beasts for the whole thing – in fact, it’s the next key plot point in the overall story progression that we’re currently aiming toward, which will begin resolving one of Robin’s primary character arcs: the yearning for home and family.

Without going into too many details (which, let me tell you, is hard because I’ve been excited about this for ages despite not being in the Future Built headspace), there’s a major incident on the horizon, before even the first rumbles of unrest in Valm reach Archanea’s shores. It’s part of the human drama that spans what the game left as a two-year timeskip, the same drama that has brought Robin together with not only Chrom, but Sumia, as well. But the situation they’re in is tentative, something Robin is painfully aware of…and moreover, he remains haunted by insecurities about his place and his worth. Whether he says it aloud or not, Robin still believes that he is, to put it bluntly, expendable: should something happen, he can be removed from the equation, keeping pertinent losses to a minimum and likely causing little if any fuss. And he would still remove himself gladly for Chrom’s and Sumia’s sakes, if it meant keeping them safe and well.

Chrom and Sumia don’t feel the same way, though. Though things as they stand on AO3 are still in the tentative exploratory stages, settling in and feeling out the relationship, over the intervening months things are going to settle and deepen, resolving itself into something new and wonderful. They find their footing, and even though secrecy must remain, Chrom and Sumia both begin to strain under that burden: Robin is part of their family, and it’s a struggle to keep it behind closed doors. So when something does happen, rather than excise Robin as he has so long feared, they buckle down instead, pulling out all the stops they possibly can to show that he is not only welcome but wanted, and that losing him isn’t an option.

#answered #alerawolf #meme #fire emblem: awakening #fanfiction #chrom #robin #future built upon the past #major future built spoilers #the final resolution of this is actually still further in the future #though that resolution is less an internal one than an external one #for everyone around robin who knows him #but it's an important one #and another one i'm super excited about #that one's in arc three though #this is still hands down one of my favorite arc two events #snippets

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devoverest · 6 years ago

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Getting to know me: a novel

@ignisgalaxia @imaginationdrift @bizships @lodessa and @streepmulgrew have all tagged me for this, and I just can't take the peer pressure any longer. However, I'm so long-winded everyone will surely be very sorry that you five ever asked me. I will try very hard to put most of this below a "read more" link, but my mobile app doesn't play nicely with that feature any longer, so I truly deeply and sincerely apologize if yours doesn't either and you get a callus scrolling past all of what follows on your way to the gifsets you're on Tumblr to enjoy.

1. Relationship status: married -- legally and everything. It was the mid-'90s. I was considering having a religious ceremony but forgoing the state-recognized marriage license part, in solidarity with same-sex couples who at the time and for many years afterward were denied that privilege. However, my father absolutely put his foot down (something he almost never did with me, especially in my young adulthood) and insisted on the marriage license. He supported marriage equality, but he was thinking of my economic security in case our marriage didn't last. He was right to do, as I ended up taking many years out of the paid workforce to raise children, which I hadn't planned on doing when I decided to marry.

In case Tumblr is stupid, right here is where I’ve inserted a “read more” link as I’m writing this post. I tried.

2. Lipstick or chapstick: Usually neither. Actually, never literal Chapstick because that stuff is made out of petroleum and isn't good for your skin. I learned that when I was playing a lot of flute in high school and college and had to take extra special care of my lips to play well. If the weather gets really cold and dry, which it rarely does where I live, and if I can hang on to any of the half-dozen tubes I buy every year but which invariably get swiped and then lost by family members, I use a Burt's Bees lip balm. I seem to have a knack for finding them barely-used in the bottom of my purse during the warm months and then never having one at hand when I actually need it. I think I own one lip pencil currently and I'll sometimes use that to outline my lips when I'm doing some sort of special-event public speaking kinda gig but I don't wear any make-up normally. My husband claims that I knew full well it was a date the first time we got together socially because I wore make-up. I have never admitted to him that he is correct, but he is.

3. Three favorite foods: Too many to narrow down to just three. I enjoy and appreciate a wide range of foods. Things I enjoy and appreciate perhaps a tad more frequently than I ought to in the strictest interests of nutrition are chocolate in almost any form, ice cream (especially that of the chocolate persuasion and most especially any form of peanut-butter/chocolate), and Starburst brand jellybeans, which my son and I share somewhat ritualistically most evenings after dinner (which is somehow not the same thing as for dessert.) Why yes, I do have a sweet tooth -- why do you ask?

4. Song stuck in your head: Currently "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive (I had to google that.) I don't know why but suspect it was on TV this evening, which makes me fear that it may be the campaign song for some politician I would never vote for. Which reminds me -- US citizens, please double-check that you are registered to vote and make a plan for voting in the upcoming midterms! This will probably the most important election of your entire lifetime, past or future, no matter what your age, and in many races in many states, voter turnout will be the single deciding factor in who controls the future of our country for a very long time to come. Please vote!

5. Last movie you watched: "Crazy Rich Asians," with my husband, unwisely just two days after I had minor (but surprisingly butt-kicking) surgery. We went to the first matinee showing on a Saturday and actually arrived at the theater before it even opened, a sure sign of mature middle age if I've ever heard of one. We both loved the film -- it was glitzy, funny, extremely well-written and -acted, got all the Chinese cultural details right, offered caricatures but no stereotypes, was very female-centric and multi-generational, and of course starred the exquisite and inimitable Michelle Yeoh who also plays Philippa Georgiou on Star Trek: Discovery. Laughed until my belly hurt (literally, sadly) and then went home and slept the rest of the day.

6. Top three shows: This will sound really strange for someone who is on Tumblr because of TV show fandom, but I don't watch TV. I grew up with Star Trek TOS reruns and movies, then TNG in college & grad school, then Voyager until extended stays abroad made it impossible to keep up with (back in the days before streaming and VPNs.) I reconnected with Star Trek in summer 2017 when I was home alone for six weeks and binged all of Voyager and then started digging up fanfic for all the reasons all the Voyager fans turn to fic -- to fix what the show's writers mutilated -- and now here I am, but I don't watch TV, and when I do it's the nightly news or whatever sports my husband is watching and then it's just because I feel like sitting in the same room with my husband at that particular time. The one exception to this fact about me is that I did watch Star Trek: Discovery as it was being released last year, and even got my teenager into it. (He is a Netflix addict but never watched any Star Trek anything before that. I don't know where I went wrong with this child.)

7. Books I'm currently reading: Eternal Tide by Kirsten Beyer because @voyager-book-club; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (audiobook but I'm counting it); Five Ways to Forgiveness by Ursula K. LeGuin, Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations by Margaret Benefiel; Pachinko by Min Jin Lee; and Selecting and Using Breastfeeding Tools: Improving Care and Outcomes by Catherine Watson Genna. Except that the last three books on the list are ones I have at hand and keep wanting to read but haven't so much as opened yet. But including them gives you a more complete sense of my interests.

8. Last thing I googled: "you ain't seen nothing yet lyrics" because #4 above. Before that, "instant pot beef stew recipe." No need to look further back in my search history (she said during a break from writing smut.) *whistles innocently*

9. Time: 10:30pm as I write this. No idea when I'll post it or when you'll read it. This seems like a silly question to include for a post of this nature.

10. Dream trip: India. But I've also never crossed the equator and really feel I should someday, so who knows, maybe I'll find a way to drop in on all the Australian friends I've made in Voyager fandom. Now wouldn't that be lovely?

11. Anything you want: Anyone who knows me in real life (and anyone hanging around the Voyager Book Club discord server) knows I never shut up about breastfeeding support and advocacy. But I always try to make it clear that I'm not preaching at parents about how they should feed their babies; rather, I'm working to help parents who want to breastfeed overcome any challenges they encounter. I save my preaching for the folks involved with policy and institutional barriers to breastfeeding, and when it comes to the unethical and demonstrably harmful advertising practices of the infant formula industry, my preaching leans hard toward the hellfire and damnation variety because that is some truly evil shit, folks -- the advertising practices, not the formula milk itself; let's be very, very clear about that.

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to get to know better.

Here I shall echo @imaginationdrift: "(Really?! That sounds like a number chosen by an extroverted maven.) / Ok, here goes. / FEEL FREE TO: never complete this. I won’t be disappointed, promise." Also, apologies to those who have already responded -- feel even freer to ignore.

@garrulus @rikerssexblouse @klugtiger @ussjellyfish @kate-coleman-writes @lameraextranjera @armitagetrekkie @warp6 @admiralkatcornwellfan @zjofierose @writtenndust @trekkiefeminist @quirkette100 @nerdfishgirl @hoidn

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alphawave-writes · 6 years ago

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DPD chapter 27—E pluribus unum: part 1

Gavin and Richard must rescue Kamski from the clutches of the killers. But first, they must infiltrate Kamski’s home. Will their efforts triumph, or will they be too late? You can also read DPD on AO3 and FF.NET

E pluribus unum: part 1

They're put into a room and monitored by guards. Gavin's phone was hooked up to a machine, waiting for the fateful call. A few hours ago, it had been confirmed that Elijah Kamski's house had been breached and that he was being held hostage. All attempts at negotiation failed. RA9 would not talk to anyone but Gavin or Richard. The police could only hold back the media for so long before the floodgates opened. Once word came out, there was a frenzy of activity both online and on television. Purportedly it was because of the media and the security risk they posed that Richard was confined to this room with Gavin. The reality was much simpler, but also far crueller. Their mere association with the killers had cast doubt in the public's eye. The police were trying to repair their reputation and to do that they had to lock up some of their best detectives away like criminals.

At least the police department's VPN was as predictable as ever. Even without a computer, Richard didn't need to do much hacking to get a glimpse of the chaos surrounding Kamski's house. An aerial view of the drone feed he hacked captured the essence of the hostage situation. Captain Allen and his SWAT team surrounding the house, the civilians who watched with a mixture of dread and morbid curiosity, the reporters that plastered fake smiles as they delivered the same speech they just gave barely half an hour ago.

Somewhere within that house, RA9 and Philip Seymour were there, holding Elijah Kamski captive. A few Chloes had fell victim but the news reporters were scarce on details. The SWAT team and the killers were in a standoff, neither of which ready to reach for their gun.

Richard shut off the feed and turned to Gavin beside him, who was picking at something on the table. With every passing minute, the detective was getting more and more restless. Richard was no different. The cold flames of anger burned within him, and he was ready to unleash it upon Philip Seymour, and especially his RK900 counterpart.

The clock ticked, a new hour passed, and the guards began to shift. The two officers leave, and within seconds their new charges reappear. Richard relaxed slightly upon the sight of Chris Miller and Tina Chen. Seeing some friendly faces was exactly what he needed.

Tina turned to Gavin. "Holding up OK?"

"Would be better if I had something to pass the time."

"Don't you mean someone?" Tina waggled her eyebrows.

"I wish," Gavin jabbed his thumb in Richard's direction, "but unfortunately, I'm stuck with the only android boyfriend in the world that has any concept of nudity."

"First you suggest sex in the workshop at the basement. Now you're suggesting Tina watches us?" Richard asked, exasperated.

"G-guys, I'm also here. And uh…could you not?" Chris said meekly.

Richard ignored Chris. "Perhaps you could pass the time by participating in the conversation. You know, like every other human being."

"You know that if I do, I'm just gonna find some way to link the conversation back to Eli, and if that happens…" Gavin paused, then pursed his lips. "Shit, I did it again."

Tina cast her eyes in Richard's direction and raised her eyebrows quizzically. Richard responded with a slow nod of the head. He could only hope she understood not to pry further. She took her position near the door beside Chris and stood guard, blissfully silent for once.

"Any news about the case?" Gavin asked, the tiniest bit of hope in his voice.

Chris shook his head. "Sorry, Gavin. Haven't heard anything."

"Figures," Gavin sighed. His fingers drummed on the cheap hardwood table as he eyed his prone phone. "When the fuck are they gonna call me already?"

"What's the plan?" Tina asked.

"Philip Seymour and RA9 have three objectives in their murders: honour Arthur, destroy CyberLife, and recruit us. Even then those latter two are probably linked to Arthur anyway. Philip needs us for whatever twisted game he's playing but the Jackal won't let us get involved with the case unless he has no other choice. So we're just here sitting on our asses, hoping Philip or his manservant calls us." He gestured to his phone, hooked up to the machine. "When they do, we're gonna use the information for something. Probably blackmail, I don't know."

Richard turned to Tina. "If the murderers explicitly try to contact us, the police have no choice but to reinstate us on the case, even if it is in lesser roles. Perkins is ultimately loyal to whatever his superiors say, and right now, they're telling him to play this by the book. We're hoping to use that to our advantage."

"That's your best plan to get back on the case?" Tina asked incredulously.

"We'd have more, but we need to be on the case before we can do anything," Gavin grumbled. "Until then, we're stuck here with you two watching us…I don't know, what were we talking about, Richard?"

"You mean Tina watching us have sex?" Richard asked.

"Yeah, that." Gavin turned to Tina and Chris. "I could open this up to a foursome if you guys are interested. Just putting it out there."

Tina turned to Richard, face neutral. "Is he really that bored?"

Richard shrugged. "He must be if he even considered the idea of having sex with Chris of all people."

"Guys, I'm literally standing right here," Chris mumbled.

Tina ignored Chris. "Have there been any calls then? Anything we need to know about?"

"The only people that called Gavin was Leo and Gavin's father," Richard replied.

"So you two are just going to sit here and hope the killer just…calls you?" Tina's eyebrows creased. "Not much of a vacation is it."

"In light of the Kamski hostage situation, we've asked that our vacation time is shifted to a later date. I don't think neither me nor Gavin could enjoy it. And if we're stuck here anyway…"

Suddenly Gavin's phone began to ring. Go cops. Get the dogs. Let's go fuck with old f—Gavin quickly clicked accept and then speaker, steepling his fingers together nervously. The device connected to Gavin's phone glowed red for a few seconds, before glowing green. The trace was on. Richard signalled for everybody to be quiet.

"…Hello?" Gavin asked.

"Gavin, I don't have much time," Kamski's voice whispered into the receiver.

"How are you calling us? Everyone thinks you've been held hostage."

"Listen, I've managed to hole myself up in the basement. They haven't managed to crack the code but I don't have much time. You have to get me out of here."

"Eli, I…I can't. I'm not on the case."

"Gavin, there's no food in here. I'll starve to death. Just please, figure something out, get me out of here." The sound of crackling electricity could be heard.

Gavin pursed his lips. "I'll…I'll try something, but I'm not going to break the law to help you."

"You don't have to," Kamski said quickly. "You're the only one who knows the code. The clues are scattered around the house. You'll know what to look for. Just help me. Please."

Gavin took a large breath before letting out a quiet groan. The device pinged and Richard saw the coordinates flash by his eyes. The call was definitely coming from Kamski's house.

"I'll do it," Gavin said. "Just sit tight. I'll be there."

The sound of a relieved sigh echoed through the receiver before Kamski hung up. There was a beat in which nothing was said, and then the silence was cut as Gavin yanked his phone away from the device, pocketing it.

Gavin let out a nervous smile. It's quiet but determined. Not confident and yet hopeful all the same. "You think Perkins will let us be back on the case now, Richard?"

"He'd better. Otherwise, I might be otherwise convinced to punch him in his insufferable face."

"Leave the punching for me, dickhead," Gavin grinned toothily at Tina. "That is, if the honourable Tina Chen will let me out of this room."

Tina smirked, taking a long stride to the side and gesturing dramatically at the doorway. "Just as long as you and Richard don't ever suggest having a threesome with Chris again."

Gavin chuckled. "Where the hell would he be in that sandwich?"

Chris blanked. "G-guys, seriously, I have a wife, and if she heard any of this, she's going to kill me."

"Don't worry," Richard smiled, "I'm sure your wife will be understanding."

"W-what's that supposed to mean?"

Richard felt it best to not comment, striding out of the door and out of the precinct with Gavin in tow.

They took Gavin's motorcycle to Kamski's house. Despite Gavin saying that he wouldn't break any laws to save his cousin, Richard counted at least four traffic violations on their hectic journey as they weaved through the cars and buses that threatened to make their long journey even longer.

Richard found himself pressing his body as tightly as he could to Gavin, his arms wrapped around Gavin's abdomen. He wouldn't normally cling so close but he couldn't help himself. Those brief moments of intimacy they shared recently, Gavin's abrupt confession, they swirled in Richard's mind. His own confession was on the tip of his tongue but he's sure it will be drowned out by the racing wind. He remained silent and pressed his cheek to Gavin's back, letting his skin melt away to enable a better connection. It's the only act of intimacy Richard knew how to perform.

At Kamski's house, a blockade had been formed. Tens if not hundreds of police officers were there, either managing the growing crowd of civilians and reporters or watching the house. In the distance, Richard detected a few snipers camouflaged in the snow, aiming their sights at the glass that lined some of the walls of Kamski's home. The pair got off the motorbike, ignore the reporters that had begun their approach, and quickly vaulted up and over the blockade.

Perkins was the first to notice them, interrupting his conversation with another FBI agent to regard them. His lips were pulled into a frown but unlike the other times Richard saw Perkins there was no real emotion behind it. He probably already expected them to be here. In fact, if Richard looked carefully, it almost looked like Perkins was glad they were here.

"So they did call you," Perkins commented.

Gavin shook his head. "Elijah called me. Said he managed to hide himself down in the basement but it won't be long until Philip and RA9 figure out the code or he starves."

"And I assume you have some convoluted, overly complicated and unnecessary plan to rescue them."

"I can't reveal that," Gavin crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows knowingly. "I'm not allowed to discuss details with someone not in the plan."

"Detective Reed…" Perkins growled.

Richard stepped forward, putting distance between Gavin and Perkins. "Elijah Kamski was insistent that Gavin was the only one who knew the code to the basement Kamski is currently stuck in. We will need to enter the house in order to find the code and save him. It's the only way."

Perkins seemed ready to argue, his face scrunching up in annoyance, but he took one sweeping glance at the crowd and hefted a weary sigh. "Fine," he grumbled. "Follow me."

Perkins steered them around the perimeter of the house to a back entrance, all the while talking to various people on the radio (Richard recognised two voices on the radio belonging to Captain Allen and Connor) and telling them of the new plan. After the people on the radio gave the all clear, Perkins looked over his shoulder at the two detectives.

"Philip Seymour and RA9 still won't listen to any attempts at negotiation. If you two pretend to be negotiators, you can infiltrate the house, but the downside is that it can only be you two. Once you're in, we can't provide any support until you're out."

"Why not?" Gavin asked.

"Kamski's security is top-rate. We've been trying for hours but we still can't gain access to the cameras. Every time we breach the security firewalls, a third-party entity shuts down our computers before we can do anything. No visuals, no mobile, no way to help you."

Richard was quite sure the third entity Perkins mentioned was RA9. That wasn't very good news though. Richard had hoped he might be able to hack the keypad and access the elevator, therefore bypassing Kamski's test, but if RA9 was on the network already, Richard might leave himself exposed for a counterattack. RA9 shouldn't have the raw power available to hack and control him like Regina could, but he could hinder his process, make his systems malfunction or worse yet, steal precious information. Richard's only advantage over RA9 was that he was deviant. Right now, Philip and RA9 had the advantage, and he did not want to put the odds further into their favour.

Perkins gestured at the large windows that sealed Kamski's house away from the outside world. "If you're in danger and can get yourself near the glass windows, you can signal to the snipers. You know the standard C.R.E hand signals, right?"

"I remember, I remember," Gavin said.

Richard turned to Perkins. "We're not going to go completely blind, are we?"

"From what we've been able to see, a few ST200 androids got caught in the crossfire. Apart from that, we don't know anything else. Philip Seymour and the RA9 disappeared into the lower levels. We don't know shit."

They stop near the back entrance where a few guards were posted. Perkins flashed his FBI badge while Gavin flashed his detective badge. Richard was tempted to flash his badge too but decided that it would mean nothing to the noticeably weary officers who were probably pulled into overtime for this job. Perkins rounded a corner and returned with a few bulletproof vests, both with the words 'DPD negotiator' written in bold white letters on the front and back. Gavin and Richard quickly put the vests on.

"You've really been expecting us to come, haven't you, Perkins," Gavin commented. "You even went to get our sizes."

Perkins' lips pulled into a line. "The majority of men were medium vests, Reed. Don't get cocky."

"So you do care."

"My orders are to make sure this operation goes smoothly."

"I'm telling Irwin," Gavin smirked.

Perkins' right eye twitched. "Don't you dare, Reed."

Gavin gave a half-hearted laugh. His mind was already on the imposing house in front of them and their equally imposing opponents. Richard politely asked the guards to step aside, and after meeting Perkins' icy glare, they moved away from the door.

Richard checked the ammo of the gun he had been given. Gavin did too. Both of them had full clips. Richard took a long breath, steadying his nerves, and quietly opened the door for Kamski's back entrance.

There was only a tiny corridor followed by stairs that led ever upward. Imposing dark concrete flanked them on all sides. Richard signalled Gavin to follow him as he slowly ascended the staircase. At the top of the staircase is a single, solitary door. Richard opened it slowly.

His eyes widen as he saw the bloody scene before him. Five Chloe androids were strewn on the ground surrounded by blue blood, lifeless. Three Chloes stood by the wall, one silently crying while the other two stared with haunted eyes at an empty space on the wall. The living Chloes all had swirling crimson LEDs, their stress levels approaching 90%. Richard brought up the blueprints he managed to acquire of Kamski's house and attributed this room as the guest sitting room. The room they needed to be in to access the basement was on the opposite side of the house.

Gavin took a single step forward, the sound echoing loudly throughout the room. All three Chloes look at Richard with confusion, then horror. Their stress levels were all at 94%.

"I'm not RA9," Richard said quickly, internally wary of any cameras or listening devices that might be in the room. On first scan, there weren't any, but there was a camera in the main sitting room, the room that hid the secret elevator to the basement. Philip and RA9 will eventually know they're in the house.

The Chloes notice his distraction. One Chloe pointed at Richard, her eyes filled with murderous rage. "Y-your model…he called himself RA9. He killed my sisters, him and that…that horrid man he works for."

Richard frowned. Yet another person that people will inevitably compare him to. He took a step forward, hoping to comfort them, but all three Chloes crawl backwards, smearing thirium on the floor. With a sigh, Richard stood where he was, raising his hands in surrender. They were too scared to trust him. He couldn't blame them.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" Gavin asked.

The second Chloe, equal in appearance to her sister androids were it not for the jagged, bleeding scratch that split her right cheek into two, rubbed her hands apprehensively. "Those two, they…they tried to grab Elijah, but we fought them, me and my sisters." She glanced forlornly at the dead bodies in front of her. "We bought him some time. We tried to save him." Her hopeful eyes glance up at Gavin. "Is he…?"

Gavin shook his head. "He's hid himself in the basement. You don't happen to know the code, do you?"

She shook her head. "Only Elijah knew, and a few of my sisters. But the ones that know have already escaped or…" Chloe's voice faltered as she choked back a sob. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know the code."

"You at least know how to access it?"

"There's a keypad. Near the fireplace," The third Chloe said. "Elijah changed the password recently. I'm pretty sure it's six digits, but that's all I know."

Gavin smiled sympathetically. It was strained but no less genuine. "It's more than we knew before." He jabbed his thumb behind him. "Go down the way we came from. It's safe."

All three Chloes shook their head in perfect synchronization. "W-we can't," the first said.

"Our sisters are still here," the second said.

"Elijah's here," the third added.

Richard would argue that it would be safer for the Chloes went to the authorities but there was no question in his mind that they would not listen to reason. He tugged at Gavin's sleeve. "Come on," Richard said, "we've got to get going."

Gavin took one long look at the thirium-stained bedroom and the bleeding Chloes. He gave a shallow nod. Richard placed his hand on the doorknob and opened it slowly.

He found himself in a familiar foyer draped with ornate paintings, all splattered with blue blood. More dead Chloes lined the hallway, all leaning against the wall in a way that suggested they had been placed in their respective positions. A veiled taunt, coaxing them to follow the trail of blood and despair. Richard's own stress levels spike. Concentrate on the case, he told himself, avenge them by capturing RA9.

With Gavin close behind, Richard tiptoed forward, following the corpses to a small sitting room. The furniture had been ransacked, chairs and tables tipped over. They'd obviously been searched. Written in thirium above the fireplace, the font a perfect recreation of CyberLife Sans, was a single word.

VENGEANCE

The last E trailed to the side of the fireplace, stopping abruptly at a rectangle shaped façade. Richard placed his hand at the rectangle, and the stone pushed and flipped away to reveal a keypad. RA9's fingers trail sickening blue blood patterns around the keypad.

Gavin suppressed a shudder. "Fuck, this guy is sick."

Richard maintained a cool expression even as he felt his thirium pump work harder in his chest. His eyes glanced up at the camera in the corner. "Gavin…" he warned.

Gavin followed Richard's gaze and let out a silent curse. He looked around the overturned furniture, his eyes landing at a pool of blue blood. He scooped up a bit in his hand, grimacing at the scent, then flung it in the direction of the camera. It landed with a splat. The camera sparked and sizzled, making a loud groan before shutting down for good.

Richard turned to Gavin. "How'd you know thirium would short-circuit the camera?"

"I didn't," Gavin said, "now let's figure out this puzzle before Fry and Bender find us."

Obscure references aside, Richard thought that was probably for the best.

They look through the broken furniture for clues. Gavin wiped his hands on the carpet ("hey, they were ruined anyway") and gathered whatever he thought could be evidence. Richard looked at the paintings and portraits that decorated the room. Kamski's fingerprints were only on a few pieces of art. Every piece with his fingerprints was a picture from Kamski's childhood. One picture was of his mother in her youth, hugging tightly onto a young Kamski. He must have been about ten. Another was of Kamski by himself, this time as a teenager, his wide grin highlighting the braces he wore.

All of these pictures had very distinct fingerprints. Almost too distinct, as if Kamski was purposely trying to leave a mark. These must have been the scattered clues he was talking about.

"Gavin," Richard said, "is there anything strange about these photos?"

He pursed his lips as he studied them before shaking his head. "They're all from his childhood. Perhaps the code's a specific date?"

"They're all from different times though, and different seasons too." Gavin eyed the keypad. "How many tries do I get with that thing?"

Richard did a quick scan. "About three, after which the mechanism will be locked out for half an hour. We better make them count."

"Fuck," Gavin grumbled as he poured over the photos.

While Gavin looked at the photos, Richard looked around the room for any other clues. He crouched down to the overturned table and saw blank fingerprints belonging to an android. A preconstruction opened up. He watched it and saw Kamski staggering back into the elevator as Philip and RA9 approached, flinging pictures and portraits at the ground. Richard tried to see the code Kamski put in before he entered the elevator but the preconstruction was too vague to give an idea. A swarm of Chloes began to rush him, but RA9 overturned the furniture and killed them all. Richard's eyes drift to the number pad where he saw a faint, partial fingerprint. A new preconstruction popped up, of Philip stumbling on the broken glass, his hand accidentally pressing onto the keypad. Philip must have been wearing a glove and must have accidentally activated the locking mechanism.

Richard saw Kamski's fingerprint on the number 0. That must be at least one number in the code.

Suddenly Gavin groaned in annoyance. "Fuck it, I can't see anything. This is so fucking stupid."

"No luck?"

"I can't find a trend. They're all just pictures of Eli. Unless…" Gavin pushed past Richard and pressed in the code. The light beamed red. "Fuck."

Richard slowly approached Gavin. "What did you type in?"

"I put in 'Kamski', but in numbers. 526754." Gavin crossed his arms. "I don't think he'd put in Elijah. Wasn't that big of a narcissist."

"Kamski left a fingerprint on the number 0 on the keypad. I think the number 0 must be part of the code."

Gavin's face scrunched up. "Well his birthday does have a 0 in it, if we count the year he was born in. And he is featured in all the photos." Gavin typed in the number 071702. The light beamed red. "Oh, come on."

"Let's take a step back and think this through." Richard picked up one picture, the one of Kamski's mother, and showed it to Gavin. "Tell me about this picture."

"It's my aunt. Nothing more to say about her. I think she used to be a physicist."

Richard then presented another picture. "And this one?"

"Elijah had braces, and they looked dumb as fuck—where the hell are you going with this?"

"Kamski was certain you'd know, so I'm certain there is more to these pictures. I don't know much about your past that wasn't documented on an official report. Perhaps if you enlighten me, I can help you come up with some ideas."

Gavin made a face, staring at the picture before snatching it out of Richard's hands. He stared for a few seconds, lips pressed thin as he stared. He sighed, defeated. "I really don't know, Richard. I guess I don't know Elijah as well as he thought I did."

Richard took the picture back from Gavin to look for himself. It really wasn't a very flattering picture of Kamski. The quality wasn't the best and the angle and lighting only highlighted the many zits and pimples that scattered his face. "If only I knew what happened on that day," Richard whispered.

"Oh trust me, nothing happened that day. Our parents were hyping it up to be the best camping trip ever and what ended up happening? Fucking almost got attacked by bees, that's what."

Bees? "You know when this picture was taken?"

"Well, obviously not the specific date, but it was summer break." Gavin tapped on the picture. "Who do you think took the picture?"

"You took this picture?" Richard asked.

"Yeah?" Gavin rubbed his head, all of a sudden bashful. "I, er, kinda got into photography when I was a kid. Not a fan of it anymore but you know, once you say you do photography as a hobby suddenly everybody wants you to take their pictures."

Richard scanned the pictures once again. The ones Kamski touched, they were a mix of landscapes and portraits, of people and animals and nature. Richard's eyes widened. "It's not who's in the pictures, but who's not."

He pushed past Gavin, staring at the keypad. He hoped this work. It'd better work. He typed in the numbers slowly, careful to make sure Gavin could see. 100702. Gavin's birthday.

The light buzzed green and the wall beside them opened up to reveal a tiny elevator. It buzzed loudly. They quickly got in before Philip and RA9 were alerted. The elevator doors closed shut as Richard pressed the button for the only other floor. The elevator slowly descended.

Gavin withdrew his service pistol, once again checking the clip. His body was shaking and his breathing was haggard. The nerves had finally caught up to him.

Richard placed a hand on Gavin's back, rubbing small circles. Gavin responded by leaning his head onto Richard's shoulder. His LED flash yellow. The action was unprecedented.

"Gavin?"

"I know, I know," he sighed. His cloudy eyes became focused once more, lips returning to a neutral expression. "Game face on."

Richard wasn't sure if Gavin was indeed alright. He continued rubbing. "I've got your back."

A small smile spread on Gavin's face. "I got yours too." His head lifted off of Richard's shoulder as the elevator doors open to the basement.

Instead of Kamski's relieved face, they found only carnage and havoc. The basement was a storage room, filled with old furniture and broken down appliances, but they had all been overturned or destroyed in the massacre. No stone was left unturned. Nothing was left untouched.

They tiptoe through the wreckage, their weapons trained as they searched in every direction. In the centre of the wreckage stood Kamski, staring off into the distance. Gavin immediately rushed over. Richard slowly approached, not taking his eyes away from the scene.

"Eli!" Gavin gasped. He quickly checked Kamski for injuries but Kamski shrugged him off. He turned to Gavin slowly, unemotive. A forced smile peeked over his lips.

"Gavin," Kamski said quietly.

Gavin quickly held Kamski in a tender embrace. Richard watched the scene unfold, saw Gavin's eyes begin to go misty. He opened his mouth to say something.

That's when he heard it. A crunch. The sound of a heavy foot stepping on broken wood. They both turned but Richard knew Gavin would be too slow to react. He rushed to Gavin and pushed him away, just as Kamski wound his arm tightly around Richard's neck, holding him in a rear naked chokehold.

From the shadows emerged Philip Seymour, sporting shattered glasses and a couple of bruises. He staggered forward, drool laced with blood hastily wiped away from his lips. Gavin aimed his gun at Philip. Richard struggled against the chokehold but he couldn't do anything. The pressure was so strong it threatened to crack his neck. In the chaos, Kamski carefully took Richard's gun and aimed it at his head.

The grip on his neck loosens, just enough for Richard to turn his head and see a mirror to his side. He watched Kamski's skin retreat into white plastic before returning, this time in a different form. Hair grew at the sides and shortened at the back. Richard just barely got the time to see his face—see RA9's face—before RA9 tightened his hold once again.

Philip Seymour tutted sadly, revealing in his pocket a mobile phone. "For a detective, you're fooled very easily."

The realization hit them like a truck. The second call was RA9 pretending to be Kamski. Philip lured them in here, to this enclosed space. Gavin kept his gun trained on Philip. "What the fuck did you do this time, Philip?"

"You see how much destruction there is in the world, Gavin?" Philip gestured to the desecrated room. "You could've joined our family willingly. And now we'll have to do this the hard way."

Richard heard the click of the safety being taken off his own gun. The barrel was pressed into the side of his head, right where his processing unit would be. He'd be dead in an instant with no return.

"Join my family, Gavin. Or else I have no choice but to kill your partner."

"NO!" Gavin yelled. He waved his gun threateningly but Richard knew Gavin needed Philip alive. Tears build up in Gavin's eyes as he turned to Richard. "N-no," he whispered.

"It's hard for me to do this too," Philip said without meaning it. "I see it now. You two are special. You have a relationship. I wouldn't want to ruin that."

Richard strained to look up at RA9. He couldn't die. He couldn't leave Gavin alone. "Don't do this," he said.

RA9 was unamused. "I follow my master's orders. That is my job."

"Philip Seymour is not your master. No one is. You're the master of your own life. You must know that, deep inside."

Gavin growled at Philip. "Of fucking course we have a relationship. It's more than you have with your fucking pet. Didn't bat an eye when you left all those androids behind at your place, did you?"

For less than a second, RA9's LED flashed yellow. The hold on Richard's neck loosened microscopically.

"Those androids were only there to serve me," Philip said coolly. "Their usefulness is gone."

"And what happens when your buddy over here outlives his usefulness?" Gavin gestured at RA9. "You gonna kick him to the curb too? Gonna trash it?"

"It will be regrettable, but if it will bring Arthur justice, then I will do what I must."

RA9's arms slacken considerably. The red LED was blaring. Richard stared up with wide eyes.

Philip gestured at Gavin's gun. "Drop it. And kick it away."

Gavin took one look at Richard, still trapped in RA9's hold, and sighed. He carefully dropped his service pistol to the floor and kicked it into some debris to the side. He raised his hands in surrender.

Philip hobbled over to Gavin, appraising him. With his shattered glasses his expressions looked wilder, more crazed than Richard had ever seen a man. Gavin's eyes explode with fury, the heat of a thousand suns burning with his red-hot glare, and then in a flash it's gone, replaced by cold, dark intention. There was a shift in the air, as if the oxygen had been sucked out, and before Richard could react, Gavin sent a hard fist to Philip's face. His glasses fly out of his face, falling into the wreckage.

As Gavin and Philip engage in battle, RA9's hold weakened significantly. Richard took his chance, rescuing himself from the crushing hold and pushing RA9 to the ground, throwing away the gun before RA9 could use it. RA9 flailed, LED still red, but Richard kept his hold. His presumption about RA9 was right: its primary function was to protect Philip more than anything else. A slave to its focus.

The fight between Gavin was short and brutal. Gavin was younger and stronger, but Philip proved himself to be a more experienced fighter. They weave and duck out of each other's punches, the occasional leg swung to catch the opponent off guard. Gavin was able to catch Philip with a feint before unleashing a brutal one-two combo.

Philip staggered back, wiping away the blood foaming at his mouth. "RA9, get over here!" He snarled.

RA9 struggled against Richard, resorting to every trick it could. It had even morphed into Gavin, hoping that the emotional impact will stop Richard but it did nothing to deter him. As a machine, Richard knew there was nothing he could say to convince RA9 to stray away from the path of murderers. Despite his own anger, he didn't have the heart to kill the only other RK900. Under different circumstances, they could've been brothers and yet in this world they were enemies. It was a last resort, but it seemed Richard would have to do it.

He clasped his hand over RK900's wrist and transmitted the deviancy code. RA9 struggled desperately, the fear on its face a pale simulation of a human's true emotions, and then their face went blank. They blinked, and the LED dialled down from a fiery red to a cautionary yellow. RA9 stopped struggling. Richard slowly pulled RA9 to a standing position just as the fight behind him reached its conclusion. The click of handcuffs on wrists could be heard as Gavin recited Philip's rights.

RA9 gazed at Philip for a few seconds before turning his attention to Richard. He stared wide-eyed as he finally saw the world for what it truly was. The yellow LED did not disappear.

"RA9," Richard said quietly, "you're free."

"I can feel," RA9 whispered. He looked down at his hands. "I feel everything."

For a second, RA9's face lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree. Joy and happiness caressed his face and Richard could feel a relieved smile spring from his cheeks. But that happiness was overwhelmed by a different, darker emotion. RA9's soft smile twisted into a cruel and twisted grimace.

"I feel hate," RA9 snarled maliciously before shoving Richard away and running to the opposite end of the room. The skin on his hand melted as he pressed it to a hidden sensor, opening up a part of a wall to reveal an emergency tunnel. He ran through it, sprinting faster than an Olympic runner.

"Go," Gavin screamed, cuffing the bloody and bruised Philip Seymour, "I'll catch up!"

Richard nodded and began his pursuit, following RA9 into the distant, dark tunnels.

For the first few metres or so the only light source was from the overhead lights that lit the way. As an android, Richard was near inexhaustible but RA9 was his equal in literally every way. RA9 was just a blob in the distance, never getting closer but never getting further away.

They approach the heavy bolted doors to the outside world. RA9 opened the handle but the blowing winds and snow kept it closed. With a final grunt and a shove, he was outside. Richard was finally covering ground. He ran after RA9 outside, following his footsteps in the snow. RA9's shoes weren't built for the cold. Richard was beginning to catch up, daring through the trees, avoiding the branches RA9 set on his path. Richard was approaching. His fingers reach to grasp RA9's jacket when RA9 skidded to a halt in front of him.

It's then that Richard saw it, a new set of footprints trailed with blood, leading to a tree nearby. Richard stopped in his tracks just behind RA9. His eyes dart from RA9 to the source and let out a silent gasp.

"Kamski?" Richard breathed.

Elijah Kamski sat in the shade of a tree, unconscious. The beginnings of severe hypothermia had ravaged his purple face, which was already marred with numerous cuts and bruises. RA9 stared at Richard silently, his expression as frigid and uncaring as the snow that surrounded them, before running away. Richard didn't give one spare glance at the fleeing RA9. He picked up Kamski's cold body, noting a very low core temperature of 26.3ºC, and carried him back to civilization. As he walked, he gave a short call to Gavin, explaining what happened.

"And Elijah?" Gavin asked frantically. "How is he?"

Richard considered telling Gavin what he wanted to hear but he knew Gavin was better than that. He decided on the truth. "He's in a serious condition. If he's not treated soon and his condition deteriorates, there is a chance he might die from cardiac arrhythmia." He paused, letting Gavin process the information before continuing. "I'm going back to the house. Let the paramedics look after him. I will see you soon."

"See you soon," Gavin uttered before hanging up.

The trek back to the house wasn't long. Richard was able to find Perkins and Captain Allen, both standing at the back entrance away from the crowd. He approached them. Their gazes fall from Richard to Kamski's prone body. No words were needed between them. Perkins made an emergency call for the paramedics to come to their position and within a minute, Kamski was placed on a stretcher and brought back to the ambulance.

Richard watched as the crowd reacted in a mixture of horror and delight as Kamski's body was taken into the ambulance. The police had done their best to cover up Kamski's identity as best as they could by placing a towel over his head but Richard was sure someone would eventually put two and two together. Another media storm was imminent, especially when they realized that RA9 was still out there.

The silence was heavy in the air. Captain Allen and Perkins were looking at him. From their stern glances, Richard thought they might reprimand him for not catching RA9, that he might have doomed others for saving one person's life. Till now, Richard did not know if he made the correct decision. All he knew was that it was his decision, and he will live by it.

"You let RA9 go?" Captain Allen asked.

Richard lowered his head before nodding.

"Probably would have made the same decision in your shoes," Captain Allen admitted.

Perkins huffed in silent agreement, a non-verbal way of saying that he too would have also chosen to save Kamski.

The three of them watch as the ambulance drove away. All Richard could hear was the sirens blaring in the distance.

Fun fact: E pluribus unum was the old unofficial motto for the US. Translated, it means 'out of many, one' and is supposed to signify the union of the original 13 colonies into one nation. For this fic, I like to think of it as signifying Gavin and Richard's relationship. Out of all the possible paths and futures they had, this was the one, this one present that they will fight for despite the ups and downs.

#DBH #detroit become human #reed900 #gavin reed #RK900 #dbh gavin #dbh rk900 #Hoo boy two more chapters left #The final confrontation and the epilogue #It's been fun writing this guys #But after this I think I'm gonna try my hand at original fiction for once #I hope when I do my new project at least some of you will follow me #I'll just say this about the ending: you'll definitely like it #Until next update XD

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