#i’m literally just a spicy woman to these people and it’s infuriating

[emsleyanbluejay]

so many of my coworkers give me weird looks for using the women’s restroom when i’m out as a trans man to them, but like. i’m not about to get hate crimed in a fucking [REDACTED] to “prove” my gender to them when i already get dirty looks and visible confusion from cis women when i’m just trying to wash my hands, and the state i live in just made it illegal for me to use any other restroom anyway.

[dollfaceeeeee]

How the Avengers would react if you flinched when they tried to touch you..😭

I have been dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence for a couple years now, and with intense PTSD and panic disorder, this was so calming to think about tbh.

Tony Stark: Oh gods, he would notice, with immense distaste. He would probably hesitate to touch you afterward, but he would be gentle about talking to you about it, and would reassure you over and over that you’re safe, and that nobody will ever hurt you again. He may also ask for addresses and names, just because he’s..well, he’s Tony. He’s got the power to do crazy shit. And if he cares about you, can you imagine what he would do to someone that hurt you? My sweet man.

Steve Rogers: He would be horrified that you would ever think he would hurt you. He would probably tell anyone else in the room to get lost and sit you down and just hold you, telling you that you’re safe with him always, that nobody will ever hurt you again. He wouldn’t push you to talk about it, but if you wanted to, he would listen. He’s not one to reveal his anger as easily as Tony or Buck, but it would break his heart to hear about it, that’s for sure. He would leave the killing to Bucky and Loki tbh, but he might join in too. Maybe.

Bucky Barnes: He might be hurt, physically, that you would think he would hurt you, but he wouldn’t be surprised at the action. He was a scary guy, at one point or another, but he would gently pull you in against him and squeeze you so tight you couldn’t breathe, maybe even sway with you for a while until you felt better. And then, he’d blow up, ask who the fucker is, where they are, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He would be on a death mission with only one thing in mind, and that’s keeping you safe. That’s all he cares about.

Thor: Honestly, he might not catch on at first, because he probably doesn’t see domestic violence as much at home, but after you explain it to him or get emotional, he would want to understand what he did wrong. He doesn’t seem like the type to push you, but he does seem like the type to go in to hold you, maybe run his fingers down your back, and just kinda curl himself around you protectively. He would probably bring you to get food too, and maybe ice cream to cheer you up.

Loki: OKAY so the tough one. On one hand, he may understand why you might flinch around him, but boy would he explode once you told him it wasn’t from him, but from..someone else. Holy shit he would be a time bomb. Who is it? Where are they? Do they have a DEATH WISH? He would slide those daggers out like nothing and call Bucky to assist him. He’s out for fucking blood. He would probably leave Thor to babysit you in the meantime lol.

Bruce Banner: Soft boy would be HORRIFIED. He would get it because the green guy can scare people sometimes, but of him? Oh no. He would bring you somewhere quiet and make you a cup of tea and just kinda talk to you gently about it, rubbing your shoulder when it gets tough. He’d probably also put a movie on afterward and just hold you, just to remind you that you’re safe with him. He’s definitely a snuggler.

Natasha Romanoff: She would be joining Bucky and Loki. Someone HURT YOU? Death, on the spot. Of course she would want to understand what happened and if you’re alright, and she would probably just talk to you one on one if you needed it, but she would give you her full attention. And then afterward, she would be joining those boys on a death mission. Those three, as a group, with Wanda too? And CAROL? I mean, RIP whoever decided to lay a hand on you.

Clint Barton: Oh he would be HARDCORE concerned. What do you mean you’re gonna flinch when he raises his arm? Why? He would bring you in the kitchen and force you to talk to him about whatever the hell that was while he makes you a grilled cheese. I mean, what kinda sick fuck hurts someone like that for no singular reason? He’s such a dad, but he’s got your back, always.

Wanda Maximoff: I’d tell her literally all my deepest secrets. She would never take anything personally, but she would be upset that someone blatantly hurt you. Why would they hurt this small, ordinary human? Absolutely not alright. She would hold you for however long you wanted and then make you some good food for dinner while she made you laugh. When you went to bed, though..like I said, she would be joining the death party. Sorry.

Pietro Maximoff: PIEEEEEETRO. He would be so confused, and unsure of what to do, but he would probably blatantly ask you if you wanted the person to die like it’s a normal question, like “hey what’s for dinner?” Yeah, like that. He would make a big blanket fort with snacks and soft blankets and hold you until you fell asleep, and wouldn’t sleep a wink, keeping watch over you the entire night. He’s ✨soft✨.

Vision: He would try so hard to understand what the fuck is going on, but his mind would have a hard time processing why the fuck some idiot would ever hurt you. Why? For what purpose? Even after explaining it, he would probably just be infuriated, no matter what you say. How could they do this to you? Those assholes. He would probably offer a hug, or something to eat to make you feel better, but he would be plotting their demise. Guaranteed.

Carol Danvers: She would start a full out war, given the circumstances. How dare some scummy human being hurt you? She would show them, and make it the worst day of their lives. No matter how much you tried to calm her down, she would be out for blood. No way this woman would NOT be are you KIDDING? She’s too spicy for that.

Sam Wilson: He would also be another one I would tell literally anything to. He would be incredulous that you would ever think he would hurt you, but man would he pay attention when you told him. All that man would do is pull you into his arms, hug you as tightly as he can, and tell you everything is alright now, he would never let them hurt you again, and that he loves you. Sammy just seems like a guy that would tell you he loves you during something traumatic like that.

Doctor Stephen Strange: Another one that wouldn’t quite know how to react. He would probably be confused, at first, and then deeply concerned for you once he caught on, and would probably ask to speak to you about it whenever you were ready. He would probably mention that you can come by later to his room to talk about it when everyone else is asleep so it’s a calmer atmosphere, and would probably rub your shoulder as he passes you, but that’s it. And that’s enough.

Peter Parker: My devastated little bean. He would be WILDLY apologetic, thinking he did something wrong, and just saying he’s sorry over and over and wondering what he did wrong and how to fix it, but then when you explain, he wouldn’t be so..apologetic. Peter would probably order a pizza and pull you onto the couch with him and let you choose a movie, and just let you curl in against him. He would probably fall asleep with you, too, while Tony has to pay for the damn pizza.

T’Challa: Um..tbh I feel like he would be furious, in a plainly way to put it. That guy has venom in his eyes every time he’s on screen, and this wouldn’t make him feel any better. Of course he would move to comfort you first, but that man is a whole king. You think he wouldn’t do something about it? Say goodbye to whoever hurt you. He would take them off the map.

Scott Lang: He would probably joke about it at first and think you’re just messing around, but he would be absolutely devastated when you get upset over it. He would be HORRIFIED that he upset you, and would probably try desperately to talk to you about it, or try to make you feel better. He would probably end up getting knocked out by Sam or Bucky, but he would welcome it after that lol.

Valkyrie: She would not probably comment on it until you guys were alone, because she might think it’s a private matter for you and she would respect your boundaries, but if you got seriously upset on the spot she would probably pull you into a hug and yell for everyone to get the fuck out. She wouldn’t make you talk about it, but she would know when you needed to be alone, so she would make sure you got the time you needed. If you needed her afterward, she would be there.

Groot: I AM GROOT. That is all.

Rocket: A lot like Antman and Thor, he would probably joke about it or think you weren’t being serious at first, but after you were, man he would be upset for you. He would probably comfort you by telling you jokes to get you to laugh, or something, but in his mind he would probably be plotting the end of a pitiful human being far away.

Gamora: She wouldn’t let that shit go, no sir. She wouldn’t pester you, but man she would want to know what the hell that was about, and what stupid, God forsaken bastard decided that you were a punching bag. Not on her watch. Be prepared to tell her, because she won’t let anything like that go. I don’t make the rules.

Peter Quill: Idk if he really knows how to be serious at..serious times..maybe? Anyway, he would make sure to never move that sharply around you again, and wouldn’t say anything about it unless you wanted to talk to him about it. He might ask the others what was going on with you, but he’s not the type to show that he cares about a lot of shit. Sorry, Quill.

James Rhodes: He is such a dad lol. He would be taken back by the action, don’t get me wrong, but he also wouldn’t be one to let it go. Who is it? What happened? He might not be aggressive about it like the others, but he would want to know that they are long gone now, and he would remind you that you’re safe.

Nebula: Ah shit, what did she do wrong now? That’s it. Haha.

Baron Zemo: Who the fuck was it? Who the FUCK hurt you? Oh no, Zemo would be out for blood. He wouldn’t need a team, or partners in the quest, nah, he would be going alone and would scare that bastard in their beds in the night. DING DONG, it’s the boogeyman, I’m here to end you for your bullshit choices.

Hope van Dyne: This badass Queen would not back down from asking you about what was wrong. Did someone in the compound hurt you? Did she have to kill them? But when you tell her, she would be horrified for you, and offer to hurt the person that hurt you. An eye for an eye, right? Up to you.

Drax: Do they need to die? He would do it for you. No charge.

Mantis: She would read you like an open book the second you flinched, so don’t try to deny it, or say that it was just a reflex. She would probably have a detox night and make nachos with you and throw on some comedy movie she heard about from Rocket. She wouldn’t let you hurt on your own. She would be there.

Wong: UGH what a GUY. He would probably make you some soup because it’s the ultimate comfort food and talk about it together. He wouldn’t get agitated, or force you to open up too much, but he would offer his company and his attention as long as you wanted it.

Okoye: She would probably be with T’Challa tbh. Sorry. She would be out for some tucking vengeance.

Shuri: She would be the one to bring you along with her somewhere private, wrap you in a blanket, and hold your hand as she urged you to tell her what the hell that was. She would be one of the best at comforting, and afterward she would show you around her collection of inventions to make you forget about that stupid, repulsive human being.

Pepper Potts: Someone..HURT YOU? Oh no. She would go right to Tony with it and demand that the two of them do something to avenge you. There is absolutely no way that she would let that slide. She would also make you your favorite food, some warm cookies, and get a bath going for you to help soothe you.

Korg: Dude is made of rocks. ROCKS. You expect him to understand what the fuck is going on? He would probably get a video game going to let you release some anger and ask Thor for help in the meantime.

[thisislizheather]

January Jewels

Forgive the lateness of this post! Here are the highlights from January.

Still using the Origins GinZing Eye Cream and I think it’s working, so I’ll keep at it. It doesn’t leave those red circles under my eyes (that other eye creams have done to me) when I’m using it either, which is a huge plus.

I can’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned how good this ArtNaturals shampoo & conditioner is for hair growth. I’ve been using it for a few months and it obviously takes a bit to start working, but it definitely does. I’ve also tried their Himalayan salt scrub, which is also pretty great.

Again, I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it, but I’ve been in love with this perfect tinted moisturizer from AmorePacific for about a year now. I know that it’s too expensive, but I really try to make it last at least a year to make it worth it.

Nobody told me how good orzo is! I may have told Nathan it’s a kind of rice so that we can continue to eat it regularly?

I watched about three or four episodes of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo since every person on the planet did as well, and I think I’m good and don’t need to watch more. Although I did see this one Buzzfeed post about actually helpful insights from her whole deal.

Did you know that if you have an iPhone, you can literally shake it to undo typing? Layla just taught me that, so great.

I tried the burger at Beebe’s and it was good! Especially if you’re in the mood for something quick & tasty.

Read & loved Busy Philipp’s new book.

Sampled some of the donuts at Dough and… oh man. Too doughy! I know, don’t kill me. And there were barely any poppy seeds on a supposed “lemon poppy seed donut.” Go home!

I’ve been using Kiehl’s Buttermask For Lips for a few weeks and even though it’s pretty decent, I think the Laneige Lip Mask is a slightly better product in terms of how soft it makes your lips in the morning.

Finally ate at Emily in the West Village. Didn’t realize they took over the old Blue Ribbon location, it’s such a beautifully small spot. The food was fantastic, it’s still unclear to me what exactly a Detroit-style pizza is, but it’s lovely and weird and so good. The burger was great too, just definitely not worth $27, that’s insanity for meat on a bun, I’m sorry.

Oh! I tried this awful salmon recipe off of Half Baked Harvest, which usually has amazing recipes. I kind of like that that woman isn’t perfect now.

Had the best hot chocolate of the season so far at Boro Hotel.

My friend Dave Merheje has a stand-up special on Netflix that is crazy good and he’s the best and you have to watch it.

So I’m all caught up on This Is Us and man. It’s a lot. When William told Randall, “Take me to meet your father” and he starts talking to Jack at the tree? I haven’t cried that much at a scene since Tom Hanks lost Wilson. Good christ. I think one of the best parts about this show is that it covers all the years of a life of someone and I feel like no show has tried to do that, it’s so crazy good at times.

Tell me you’ve seen the Futurama episode Jurassic Bark about Fry’s dog. I wept.

I’ve been hearing about Xi’an Famous Foods forever, so I made it over there and ate the spicy lamb cumin noodles, which was huge and really good, definitely enough for two people. It was super spicy and the lamb was incredible.

Finally tried Smith & Cult nail polishes and they last a pretty decent amount of time. In love with the colours Stockholm Syndrome & Doe My Dear.

Also in love with Cara Cara oranges. Find them. Eat them. Love them.

There’s this wicked new pizza place in my neighborhood, Massa’s, which definitely has a hint of what is so good about Patsy’s in the city.

Obviously I watched both Fyre Festival documentaries because none of us are individuals in this age and while the Hulu one was good for showing the terrible-ness of the financial specifics, and the Netflix one was good for showing the bigger picture of what a scumbag he is and the specifics of people who were screwed over - BOTH really were the same fucking movie. Dick guy. Dick advertising company. Dicks all ‘round.

I’ve been watching this 100 Baby Sims Challenge (a new one comes out each week roughly) and they’re so addictive to watch. I don’t even feel the urge to play, it’s weirdly enjoyable just to watch.

Watched the Ted Bundy tapes and after seeing the whole “series” on Netflix, I’m officially on board with the death penalty. I used to be against it more or less, but definitely on board with it now. Another thing? I can’t watch these types of series anymore. Not because they’re too horrific to think about or because they’re such awful crimes (they are, both of those things), but it’s infuriating to watch these pieces that treat these vile human beings with such dignity, who are thoughtfully studied and analyzed while each victim simply has a name, a photo and how she was brutally murdered… and that’s it. It’s demoralizing to everyone who suffered as a result of those crimes and disgusting that these despicable men are treated as celebrities with any kind of rights. It’s sick.

Tried Cadbury’s Royal Dark Chocolate and I swear it doesn’t even taste like dark chocolate, it’s so good. It’s like what all other dark chocolate WISHES it tasted like.

Went to Tavern On The Green in Central Park for the first time! This place will forever remind me of Ghostbusters, it’s amazing that it’s even still around. The service was great, the light inside the place is so bright and lovely, the food was fairly average, but I am glad I went.

Finally ate at The Dutch (somewhere I’ve wanted to try for years) and it was perfect. Look, I have a soft spot for steak tartare and their wagyu one was phenomenal. Even the jalapeño cornbread with whipped butter that comes before the food was amazing. Although bad cornbread is hard to find. The kale Caesar wasn’t anything to write home about, but that’s okay. The service was stellar and the hostess even said, “Goodbye Ms. Heather!” on my way out, which I loved. I will definitely be back here.

I made two new recipes from Chrissy Teigen’s second cookbook: the salted maple granola and the cheesy spicy breakfast hash. Both were crazy good! Some notes: ignore the microwave instruction on the hash. And lessen the granola ingredient amounts unless you want to be eating this granola for a year (it also tastes amazing unbaked).

I returned to Augustine inside The Beekman for Restaurant Week for lunch and even though it was day 1 of having the flu, the food (that I ended up taking home) was delicious. A decent steak tartare and a roast chicken that would put all others to shame.

I was in Starbucks on my laptop recently and since I forgot my headphones, I had to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack that they had on for at least an hour. Aaaaannnndddd I feel like you know where I’m going with this. Hamilton sounds like it fucking suuuuhuuuucks. I promise I’m not just hating for the sake of hating something successful. It actually sucked hard. I can’t imagine sitting through the actual performance, good god the patience you’d have to have.

Read The War of Art upon Nathan’s insistence.

So excited for the Big Mouth Valentine’s special next week.