#i’m just soooooooo sick of it rn

[moonsappho]

okay. to be so completely honest. taylor swift shut the fuck up challenge

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

@catchuuu @staryukis @dollsuguru @mossmurdock @elusivemoon

RAHHHH procrastinating time

Mashup of curse/angel/deity!Gojo

[moonchildstyles]

but do you ever think about harry's hands? and how it would feel to have one hand on your throat and the other hiking your leg up so he can watch himself pump in and out of you and you're just so fucking wet everything is so messy and the noise of him just pounding into you is so...deliciously dirty and the bed is this close to breaking 🤏 and he's going so hard he's panting but never ever ever slowing down bc he has to get you to cry he needs to see you cum so hard tears are welling in your eyes and all he can make out is moans of daddy and please and more? idk chicken, maybe it's just me 🤔

I actually think too often ab his hands I’m SOOOOOOOO rn🥸 and him WATCHING himself fuck you im so sick and so are YOU for bringing it up!!!!!! You are just so insane I just keep thinking ab him just looking ant watching and like his hairs all sweaty and he’s just…so into it no one talk to me

[moon-ursidae]

it’s time for session #2!

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BOTH OF THE LAST OF US GAMES UNDER THE CUT!!!!

these notes are so scattered if you read them without context and i am SO SORRY lmao. i’m typing them so fast trying to keep up with my brain that’s going 700 mph and the game. ANYWAY, we’re getting a very late start tonight bc i was helping my friend learn guitar for a few hours haha

total play time: about 2 hrs and 40 min (there’s not much story progression here just exploring seattle!)

okay so we last left off with ellie and dina in the woods on horseback post joel’s house. i have not gotten farther than the woods bc i was super ultra mega tired. so let us continue!

okay sooooo this section is called the gate cool cool cool

this is fucking gorgeouuusssssss

omg dina listing off all the people that joel crossed

i’m sure there’s more before that bro

oh my god the LIGHTINGGGGG in the woods so so good

we’re so close to seattle i’m scared

so much happens here man

map acquired��

CARD BABYYYYYY

jesus christ i L O V E the aesthetic of nature reclaiming land and man made structures. it’s sooooooo pretty

oh shit QZ!

i’m looking through ur journal ellie hope you don’t mind haha

dina seems to be sick? well. i know why but ellie doesn’t yet so shhhhhh

it’s so sad to me that every drawing of joel so far that ellie’s done, she hasn’t been able to draw his eyes. that was the last thing she saw of him while he was alive. like she wants to get them just right but everytime she draws it that means she has to look him in the eye again. and maybe she’s feeling too guilty to do that rn. ugh idk i know neil always does shit like that but maybe i’m reading too much into it haha. ANYWAY that is one of the most heartbreaking parts about her journal dude. UUUUGGHHHHH 😭

“i really love her.” 😭😭😭😭 ELLIE TELL HER PLEASE

we just got a letter, wonder who it’s from🕺🏻

kieran?? kieran duffy??????

haha wrong game

also lemme just say, i fucking love dina

she’s so sweet and empathetic, but will cut the fuck out of a bitch when needed

I HAVE TO PARKOUR?? UP HIGH?? IN THE LAST OF US?? OVER A GATE??

this is some nathan drake shit bro where’s nolan north

FUUUUUCK I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA FALL BRO OH MY GOD

hoooooollllyyyyyy fuuuuuuck this is a big city jesus christ

LMAO her wobble before she fell down to the platform below

this game is so gorgeous. holy fuckin shit i’m gonna say that a lot huh?

THE SOUND DESIGN??? WHEN GOING DOWN THE LOOKOUT TOWER AT THE GATE OF THE QZ??? WHEN SHE FALLS AND IT ECHOES?? THAT SHIT WAS CRAZYYYY

guys i’m gonna be honest. i’m team brick.

i LOVE being able to break windows this is so fun

oh god i have a horrible memory plz don’t make me memorize these gate codes

side note: i love ellie’s hair here. i’m gonna have to try a lil half up half down situation

i saw someone on twitter point out that it looks a lot like tess’s hair🥺

“well, we believe in you” shimmer and dina? or baby and dina? hmmm things to consider

totally unrelated, but i can’t not hear ashley johnson going “babyyyyyyyyy” with an s.o. since the mighty nein reunion lmao

ellie seeing dina and going “babyyyyyyyy” like yasha LMAO

ANYWAY

fuck i hope i can pull out that page of codes dude

THANK GOD

oh shit another hotel

i’m traumatized after the last on dude you can’t make me go back

H O L Y. S H I T.

THIS IS SO OPEN I’M GONNA SPEND SOOOOOOOO MUCH TIME HERE

FUCK DUDE

this is fucking crazy

there’s so much small shit everywhere oh my fucking G O D

omg joel was definitely reading that space book for ellie she just talked about an early moon mission at this tank

DINA’S JOKE “she’s sounding a bit hoarse” they’re literally made for each other

OH MY GOD I JUST FOUND THE DR. UCKMANN CARD NO FUCKING SHOT

damn is this his way of addressing the crunch work hours at naughty dog?

“once a well respected researcher… questionable experiments in the realm of pushing human limits saw him ostracized from the scientific community… Laurent Foucault of SPARK Laboratories found his work dubious…”

the music is hauntingly beautiful in this area oh my god

OH MY GOD THE SCANNERS THAT DETECT THE VIRUS FROM THE BOSTON QZ IN THE FIRST GAME

i miss the first game LMAO even though i JUST finished that

THERE’S A FUCKING PEARL JAM POSTER IN THE MUSIC SHOP😭

IF I EVER WERE TO LOSE YOU, I’D SURELY LOSE MYSELF😭

i feel like this is supposed to be hank williams which would be fucking sick bc “alone and forsaken” and all that jazz haha

“guitars starting at $49.99” BRO SINCE WHEN I FUCKING WIIISH DUDE😭

as a drummer, i can confirm dina is a fucking natural

“i love you?” A H H H H H

ANUTHA CARD WOOO

Das Wort is my favorite card so far. he just like me fr

WAIT THIS IS THE TAKE ON ME SCENE

i will cry

SHE’S PLAYING FUTURE DAYS😭😭😭😭

BARRE CHORDS??? ellie i could literally never wtf

the chords are all accurate too holy fuck naughty dog

ashley has such a nice voice oh my god

i’m gonna fucking cry bc they put this in the hbo trailer

AAAAHHHHHHH😭😭

this is why i fucking love music dude. it transcends everything and always will. it’s the one thing that connects everyone. and it’s connecting people in this game too and i UGGHHH i love music holy fuck

the way dina looks at her🥹

and also knowing that joel was the one that showed her all of these songs and artists bc ellie wasn’t even alive to hear take on me and future days, and literally everything else. GOOOOODDDDDDDD😭😭

“you should have kissed me then.” “i wanted to.”

god i love dina and ellie they sound like an old married couple already

first dawn of the wolf poster i’ve seen!!! WOOOOO

i’m gonna come back to the nutrition distribution center bc i feel like that shit is gonna be bad news bears

“wasn’t joel all about coffee?” as he should. i’d be all about coffee too if i didn’t have it for years

ANUTHA CAAAARD

i really like the Big Blue card too

THAT FUCKING INFECTED IN THE BATHROOM SCARED THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY OH MY GOD

so many fucking side quests oml what do you mean “barko’s”

oh my god there are so many fucking alleyways to go down

THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO I AM SO BUSY FINDING SECRETS AND STUFFS

BARKO’S LOCATED

it’s too dark in here i don’t like it

“they think we’re sheep! BARE YOUR FANGS.” what in the fuckin trump train “sHeEpLe” is goin on in here

i feel like i’m gonna get fucking jumped by infected again in here

THIGH HOLSTER ACQUIRED

omg plz “we can get a little creature to take care of” AND THEN THEY HAVE A FARM AT THE END😭😭😭

STUN BOMB ACQUIRED

i have already spent 2 hours in this fucking QZ holy shit

i just wanna explore rn i don’t wanna progress story atm

i am secret hunting

ANUTHA CARD BABYYY WEST GATE 2

it doesn’t even look like i’ve done that much😭

i also have a bad feeling about this bank

oh fuck this shit. it goes underground

they are ALWAYS underground bro

dina this is not cool, this is scary

i don’t fucking trust this shit

HOW DID I FUCKING KNOW

infected or whateva🙄

SHOTGUN ACQUIRED

FUCK this bank dude i’m GONE

dina said she’d get a farmhouse with the money😭😭

okay i think i’m gonna stop here bc it is literally 5am and i am sleepy haha. no story! but got some goodies and secrets out of the way! i will continue maybe tomorrow? not sure bc i am quite busy but we’ll see!

having a really good time so far and i love watching ellie and dina’s dynamic! still lots of buildings and secrets to loot! i’m excited >:)

[releaseyourmind]

.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[cherry-holland]

Sooooo, I haven’t updated in a while, but figured I’d end that now with a life update!!!

Soooooooo, on top of being busy at work, somehow ya girl got herself sick, and now I’m currently going out of my mind at home, even tho my quarantine began technically yesterday 😅😅 hence my makeup’d face 😂😂

I’ll still kind of be on here from time to time, but I’ve undergone a lot of life change recently, even before this, so I’m not much into posting as much as I used to to be honest. Because I am in quarantine rn I might be rolling out a few one shots, but a lot of my previous ideas are no longer going to be active, nor will I write smut anymore. Sorry for those who follow me for that content, it’s just not really much of my jam nowadays 🥺🤷🏽‍♀️

Anywho, PLEASE stay safe out there, and WEAR A MASK!!!! If others around you aren’t being preventative, PLEASE be preventative yourself!!!! Don’t end up like me 😅😅

[smiley-yuta]

stargazing w/ taeyong

☼ requested — yes

a CONCEPT i am here for

sooooo,,, side note.. i’m sorry i’ve been inactive for like the last month schools been a bitch and i’ve been on thanksgiving break for the past week and i’ve legit just had no motivation to write so i hope yall enjoy this and have a great time reading it :)))

plus i’m sick rn so i kinda wanna die????

okay first

how yall got here in the first place

soooooooo,,,,, there’s this astronomy class that both of yall are taking

you bc you really super super duper love the stars and the different ways they work and how they came to be

taeyong bc it was something he had to take for the credits; he loves science but of COURSE the only science course left is the one branch of science he simply cant wrap his mind around

its not that he hates it but its that he hates it

so here yall are

you being the professors star student, someone he absolutely adores and considers one of his brighest students

taeyong,,,,, not so much

in fact hes barely maintaining a c in the class and is on the brink of having three mental breakdowns all at once

he goes to the professor after class:

“plead elleaspelspdlel i need to bring my grade up i cant have a c in this class”

obviously, the professor gets to thinkin

brightest student in my entire career of teaching + desperate student willing to do anythinf to raise his grade = a++++

a match made in heaven

he calls the both of you into his office after the next class, explains the situtation to yall and wants to make sure you’re both on board

he leaves u two alone to chat about different plans to meet up and what yall will talk about and look over at each one

eventually

yall get super close and are super good friends

you offer him moral support before every test you guys take and start becoming the bestest duo after his grades start to rise

finally, the final comes around and after both of you take it and he ends up passing w flying colors !!!! he starts to plan a little celebration between the two of you

hes so grateful you came around and started to tutor him and be someone he considers a long time friend not to mention the little romantic feelings that began to spark in

he started buying little things and planning to bake different treats for you to try

after about a good two weeks of planning and no help from his roommate jaehyun besides a bunch of encouragement about how hes finally gonna smash after those late nights of studying

the guy calls u up and tells you to meet him at around 10 at this specific park

you’re like “hell yeah bby i’ll see u then”

he is on his a game

i’m talking getting ready as soon as he hangs up on you

showering, shaving, getting dressed, hating what he’s wearing, changing, etc

just a long list of events leading up to you arriving at the entrance where theres a trail of little cutout cardboard glow in the dark stars and planets leading you through the park to where tae is standin, waitin for u

ur in AWE

there he is

standing in a button up and jeans and a crooked tie with messy hair like he rushed to complete everything and you basically meLTED when you saw the little picnic he set up

you are about to cry when he comes up to you and hugs you and tells you to sit down and eat all you want and ur legit about to punch youreslef bc hes so fuckitn cute

he puts his arm gently around your body to rest his hand on your shoulder and push your head against his shoulder and yOURE LEGIT BLUSHING SO MUCH MY G O D

he whispers a bunch of stuff about how amazing you are and how much he appreciates everythinf youve done for him

,,,,and how much youve made him appreciate the stars and the beauty of them

but youve also helped him notice you and how beautiful of a person you are

so yall are laying down

his head in your lap while your fingers are playing w his messy hair

you guys are just staring at the sky

he challenges you to a game of finding different constellations and the loser has to buy dinner for the winner

he loses and is all pouty about it

trying to playfully give you the silent treatment to “teach you a lesson”

you play along and soon hes begging you to speak to him saying he was just kidding around

“come on you know i was just joking right hahahha please talk to me i’m lonely”

lots of snuggling

and by lots i mean

l o t s

idk when but you can bet that by the end of the night he’ll somehow find a way to compare your eyes to the stars

doesnt matter how he does it but he Will do it you can bet on it

he’d never want the night to end and would say how much he’d wish he could stay w u :(

of course yall would have to go home

so he’d offer to drive u back to ur apartment and yall would mess around during the drive back

youd arrive to ur place,,,, both of yall bein shy and shit

and then hed reach for his back pocket and pull out a lil flippy jewelry holder and open it for u and its a fUCKING NECKLACE OF A STAR THIS FUCKING DUUUUUUUDE MY G O D

hed spin u around and put it on u

LIKE THAT GODDAMN SCENE IN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BETWEEN TROY AND GABRIELLA FUCK

AND HE HAS A MATCHIN ONE THATS A PLANET

YOUD GIVE HIM SO MANY HUGS LIKE OH MY GOSH U CANT BELIEVE UR WITH THIS BABE

soon hed be like,,, “uhhh gtg bye bye lol”

his ass would peck your cheek and run the fuck away

though im sure hed drop something or trip and end up having to stay longer and further bury himself in his embarrassment

yall would just be the cutest kids i cant 

i cant think of anything else so tis the end of this thingy

have a great day guys <333

[mmakehappy]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? i’ll try to do this chronologically again: so at the beginning of january one of my best friends left to study abroad in rome which was sad and i missed her a lot. i saw rory scovel do stand up. i took an animation class which was fun for the first few weeks until i failed it lmao. actually my classes from jan to march did not go so well tbh but whatever i made it through. my sister came to visit me the weekend before st paddys day which was super fun and then we saw panic which was soooooooo fuckin rad i love them still wow! i went home for spring break and visited a local winery w my dad which was a lot of fun and then a week later uhhh me and @carrot-gallery became gfs!!! and my whole frickin life changed bc i love her so much wow!! but then a week after that i turned 22 and spent my birthday alone! which i tried to pretend didnt make me sad but by the end of the day i was very sad about it and thats when my sweet gf called me to sing happy birthday and i sobbed on my couch and ill never forget that!!! so okay then spring quarter classes started and i was a part of depaul’s visiting artist series which was super cool... i met a lot of new awesome people (both at depaul and the industry ppl that were our guests!) and made some great friends in that class! i was a house manager and camera op which was super fun. i went to a screening of my fave professor’s short film which was also rad. i saw a ghost story at the chicago critics film festival, which was amazing. i saw idiocracy in 35mm and then mike judge did a q&a! the very next day i was house manager for depaul’s student film festival at the music box! i saw chris gethard do a live recording of beautiful/anonymous and then also do some standup, that was awesome. i saw day wave live!!! amazing! i spent an entire dystopian day dealing with megabus. that was hell! i sat at an outdoor amphitheater and even tho i couldnt really see him i got to listen to seu jorge sing david bowie covers and life was magical for a few hours. my sisters came up to visit me and we saw aladdin the musical and had our minds blown, it was soooo fun! i went to the chicago pride parade for the very first time but i went by myself and at one point i was sitting on the curb just crying! not a high point but still memorable. i won a ticket to an advanced screening of the big sick where kumail & emily were there to do a q&a after the movie.... had a fuckin blast OBVIOUSLY and then saw the movie 9 other times in various theatres. i also made it into a commercial FOR the movie i just loved it that much lmao! i moved into a new (and my current) apartment! lorde released melodrama and fucking murdered me in my own home. otherwise i had a pretty uneventful but anxiety filled summer bc of financial aid stuff so that really sucked. i saw good time w taylor and the safdie brothers were there to do a q&a and they were such interesting guys i could listen to them talk for hours honestly. my mom and sisters came up to visit me and we took our mom to her very first cubs game which was sooo so much fun and they won that day too!! it was awesome and we had a great time :) watched the eclipse (or tried to anyway!!) fall quarter classes started and i honestly kicked ass at them, i got on the deans list (i almost typed honor roll lmao i mean its basically the same) i hung out with ari again which was cool!! we went to the aquarium! me and taylor saw beach fossils which was honestly the most buckwild concert ive ever been to i think, it was good shit. i got jobs at AMC (which i have since quit lmao) and starbucks and left my job at the paint place which was bittersweet! me and taylor saw mbmbam live!!! so fun!! and we watched trolls that night and goofed on it so hard!! i went home for thanksgiving and found out my big sister is gonna have a baby this year!! :D i saw mike birbiglia do stand up! which was soooo incredible of course (except i felt bad bc my mom was supposed to come w me but she couldnt go! so i brought taylor lol) UMMMMM MY DAM GIRLFRIEND CAME TO CHICAGO TO VISIT ME AND STAYED FOR A WHOLE DANG WEEK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I MISS HAVING HER RIGHT NEXT TO ME EVERY SINGLE GOSH DANG DAY <3 ;_____; and that was my year!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? last year i said id like to read at least one book each month and watch at least 100 movies - i did neither! im keeping the movie resolution though bc cmon 100 movies should be EASY for a film major wtf am i doing!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no but it will happen in 2018! 

4. Did anyone close to you die? not a person but we had to put down my sweet doggo, flash :(

5. What countries did you visit? still none :/

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? More confidence that I actually deserve to be in college and that I can do this shit and I’m awesome <– that was my answer from last year and the year before but yeah. same. also money.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ummm march 25 when me and gf became gfs and also dec 17 when she came to visit :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? putting myself out there by doing VAS/Premiere, getting on the deans list for the first time since freshman year and then also getting a new job

9. What was your biggest failure? this summer i didnt do shit besides wallow and cry and it sucked!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope

11. What was the best thing you bought? every movie ticket and the bras i bought for natalie ;-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? natalie’s because she’s amazing and works so hard!!!! and she can always cheer me up and im so in love w her

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? mine bc i could never just get my shit together and do my homework when i was supposed to :) < thats from last year but lmfao same!

14. Where did most of your money go? RENT, movie/event tix, food, in that order

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? THE BIG SICK, the new season of sv, p much all of the events that i listed in the first question lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? umm honestly probably any song from melodrama

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier, b. probably thinner? or maybe the same idk, and c. definitely DEFINITELY poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? read and write and watch movies and write and read about movies

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spending money and also being bitter about everything for no reason <– last year and the year before that AGAIN and also same!

20. How did you spend Christmas? working at AMC which i hated every second of :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2016? yes with my amazing girlfriend @carrot-gallery

22. What was your favorite TV program? silicon valley, AMERICAN VANDAL, the good place, great british bake off

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nah just politicians who like. actively want me to die lol

24. What was the best book you read? bitch,

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? mitski like why the fuck did i sleep on her..... tbh thats about it bc i still listen to the same music i did 10 years ago

26. What did you want and get? I wanted a steadier/better paying job and i have it!

27. What did you want and not get? idk i wanted to be financially stable on my own and i still dont have that

28. What was your favorite film of this year? ugh i hate this question! ok in no order: THE BIG SICK, GOOD TIME, A GHOST STORY, GET OUT, THE FLORIDA PROJECT

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? uhhh having my sweet girlfriend by my side each and every day 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? sometimes chic, always sweaty

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? kumail nanjiani duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, taika waititi, and martin starr always and probably more but i legit cant think of anyone rn lol

33. What political issue stirred you the most? yikes all of it. all of the issues (this was from last year but same lmao)

34. Who did you miss? i miss my dogs and my family and my girlfriend 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You can set goals for yourself and talk about it all you want but it’s nothing until you actually start working towards it and doing something about it. <– answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that, still true!! imma keep that. also idk just like, there are good days and super bad days and ive survived all of them so its just a reminder to myself that ill be okay.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. These days will all seem better in time Waiting on that hindsight

[thenamesafiq98]

#Repostby @haneesyahanee(@gbox.app) ... I’m soooooo sooooo soooooooo mad rn😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOPPPP SUPPORTING THIS! Kalau pegi holiday tu perlu ke naik gajah!!!! Tak kesian ke kat diaorg 😭 Diaorg kena dera tau to do all of this TAK PERCAYA GOOGLE!! There is only one way to stop this. STOP SUPPORTING THIS ACTIVITY! Jujur hanee ckp I never ride on any animal like gajah or pony that is for attraction. You know what’s sick?? When they try to defend their self n become aggressive people will shoot them till they die😭😭😭 They just wanna live freely plsssssssssssssssssssssss😭 Pls help me spread this so that people will stop animal cruelty! Pls help me save all of my Dumbo😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #stopanimalcruelty #savedumbo (at Politeknik Port Dickson) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwR0lyxgW5S/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8fpectx9qeyo

[loonalesbian666]

Ask 11 Tag 11

Thanks for tagging me @kim-jongins-lips-could-end-wars (ugh truly a timeless url) 01. favorite type of weather? I used to say fall but I have a poor immune system and I’m sick all the time so probably spring! 02. what are you craving right now? dEATH PROBABLY but um idk I rlly could go for some pancit and lumpia rn :’( 03. dream url? Um I always wanted my real name but this way my locals can’t find my tumblr lmao 04. what superpower would you have? I think about this a lot and I would want to be able to fluently read, write, understand, and speak every language every created. I love language like every language is so different yet similar and beautiful I’m crying 05. imagine yourself somewhere else. where are you? In my apartment with my roommate/closest friend chilling and I have a successful clothing line and everything is good :’) 06. organized or messy? I’m a very organized person and I’m suuuuper specific about how I clean/organize my life and my belongings. 07. what do you do when you’re in a bad mood? Sleep or stress eat and watch anime or dramas 08. would you rather live in the city of your dreams but never make any friends, or live somewhere mediocre but have a solid friend group? Um I’ve never really been one to be picky about my environment I typically just work with what I have. I would have left my city ages ago if I could but I feel like my friends really make it a great place soooooooo the second one 09. favorite color pairing? Ugh black and white is timeless tbhhhhh but I’m in the process of making this cool purple and red long sleeve :’) but also yellow and pink. I’m indecisive. 10. biggest pet peeve? Oooo probably when people talk over me. I tend to be pretty loud when I talk lit of habit but I’m always talked over and it really pisses me tf off 11. if you were on a game show and could only make one call to a friend, who would you call? Um Michael knows like fucking everything so probably him?? But if it were a more specific question like a street knowledge question susana. I hate tagging too many people so I’ll tag a few! @12-golden-trees @stargenerator @raviolitheif

[musicals--enthusiast]

Chapter 1

TW: uncomfortable topics: sexual assault/abuse/harassment. Abuse. Swearing) Name: Alexandra Hamilton. Gender: F Race: Caribbean

God, how I HATE this. I'm a 'girl.' I'm not a girl, I'm a boy. I'm Alexander, not Alexandra. Well, only according to my.... mom and.... brother. Not to my da- sir. Not to sir. I shudder as I relive the memory: Flashback~ "beautiful~" sir purrs seductively. I was forced into a skin-tight forest green dress. It hugs my curves and shows off.... the scars, as well as hickeys and bruises I 'earned' according to him. Gahhhhhhh, what did I do to deserve this?! After he left, my mother and I got very sick. She... didn't make it.... and then my brother passed in the hurricane that destroyed our town. Sir came back and found me. He'd always go to night clubs and sleep around and take drugs, and well, basically  what they do in 'Lease.' (see what I did) Sad, ik. He then... touched me... and... I can't do this rn. ~Flashback over (after the plane ride. He's in NYC now) I submit my passport to the lady. She has fair skin, dark brown hair, and was wearing a light blue dress. She must've seen my wince as she said my 'name', because she said, "oh no. Sorry love. Come on back here, there is an error in the system. Mari, can you take over for me? We have a code: 626." Another woman, with darker skin, dark curly brown hair, and was wearing a red blouse and skinny jeans walked over. "Sure thing dearest," she kissed the other woman, who I learned is called Eliza. "you two are really cute," I whisper. "thank you! now, let's get you fixed up." She lead me to the back room. "Ok, size?" she asked. "w-what?" What is she planning? "Binder size silly." oohhhhhhh. Good thing I secretly sized myself before I left. "s-small," she smiles. Here you go! Now, go try it on, and here are some more masculine clothes as well." I smile and go to the restroom to try it on. ~He gets back~ "awww, you look so handsome!" she coos. "Heh... thank you ma'am," she waves me off. "Eliza's fine, dear. Now, lets get you to where you need to go." we head out with Maria. This may be a good year after all.

***

"You are a worthless fag! You are a disgrace to the Laurens name. You piece of shit," my father snarls. I feel his hand come in contact with my already bruised back. I bite back a yelp. He would only punish me more. What did I do to deserve this? My abusive boyfriend, now this? If only my mother were still alive. "What in God's name did I do to deserve you?! Get out! Now! You are no longer my son!" he yells at me. I can smell the pungent scent of alcohol mixing with the metallic taste of blood. He tore me to my feet and shoved me out the door. Not very carefully, mind you, I slammed into the door frame. I looked into his cold, gray-hazel, dead looking eyes, once filled with love- now cold- one last time before sprinting to my room. I threw my few belongings into a suit case and hail tail. I turn back one last time before heading to my friends' dorm. ~he arrives~ (be prepared for some Laurette btw though out the book, as well as Maurlens... oops :) ) "Laf! Herc!" I yell through tears as knocking on the door. It's opened and the tall Frenchman appears. "John, mon ami, qu'est-ce que c'est?" he must have noticed the tears, as he wipes them off. "L-laf I-I ca-" tears take over the sentence before I can finish. "come here mon ami," he opens his arms as I collapse into them. He picks me up and leads me inside. Hercules comes back in, and we watch 'The Noise of Song' and cuddle and it feels amazing to be with them.

*** (I' running out of ideas for this chapter... sorry) The continuing beep of the machine push aside every sense of hope. My father, dead. My mother, sick. I have to fend for myself. I've always had to fend for myself. In a blur, I leave. tears clouding my vision I go to my boyfriend's place. "J-james?" I knock. "J-J-James?" I knock again and hear a muffled "Oh shit," from inside. I use my key to see a sloppily dressed James. He looks flustered and he rubs the back of his neck. "yes love?" "My dad is dead," I start to cry and he envelopes me in his arms. "Let's call your brother," I nod. He calls my brother. In 5 minuets flat, my brother runs in with his friend trailing behind holding another young man. Dammmnnnn, he's cute. "Mon petite frere? What is the matter?!" "Da-" I break again. Damnit! Why am I soo weak?! "non non non non," Laf hugs me. Hercules joins in. The young man that was placed on the couch, awoke. He looked around. "Laf? Herc?" I feel them blush. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... hehehe... "oui mon amour?" Mon amour huh? oo. Laf looks to me with wide eyes. Oof. "where are we?" Hercules goes and retrieves him. "My brother's boyfriend's place," Was the answer. "Oh," he studies my face. "we should all just stay and watch movies and cuddle and drown in ice cream together," I nod in agreement. So, that's exactly what we do. it will be ok.

*** All pov It will be alright ***

Soooooooo, first chapter coming in with A BANG!!!!!!!!!!! Don't expect them all to be so long. Welp. I hope you enjoy it. Please point out any erros and such, and I'll correct it! Revior mon amis!

WC- 965

[deeeelightfuldee]

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) ummm, my parents were married 37 years before their divorce was finalized. My dad’s parents were married 64 years before being killed by a drunk driver. I want to say that my great grandparents were married longer, but I don’t know that without asking.

Do you have any Eastern European ancestry? northwestern. Though maybe there is more variety if I did one of those DNA things, but eh. 

Where is your car parked right now? somewhere in chicago. I’d imagine my driveway.

When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? I traveled alone a few weeks ago. I’m learning to be totally independent. I don’t need someone else to complete my joy.

Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? At other people’s homes, yes. At my house not always. It depends where I am. Gram has to wear shoes in the house for her bones, mom has to wear them for her diabetes. So because they do, I tend to. Just to protect my feet from whatever is being tracked in.

What's your favorite movie series? lol i seldom like series movies. I suppose the borne series or the bond series.

How are you feeling today? exhausted. I spent like 5 hours driving to and from the airport and getting groceries. then the rest of the day was spent caring for 2 sick people and 2 babies and a slew of animals and the house. I’m wiped.

Look to the right - what's the first thing you see? ^^ What does that thing remind you of? one of those big husband pillows. it reminds me of the one i have at home

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? my family dyed my hair white blonde against my will.

What is something that's considered a luxury, but you wouldn't want to live without? ummm, air conditioning

Do you want to move anytime soon? i love where i live.

Did you have coffee this morning? no. i dont drink coffee

How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? It was great.

What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? oh goodness. many years have been interesting but for different reasons.

What was the first social media site you ever used? facebook

Do you have any exes you really regret dating? i have some id be OK with erasing but its not like a major regret

What brand of laundry detergent do you use? persil. smells soooooooo gooooooood.

Are you prone to mood swings? no. 

Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? lolol i pretended i could hear someone i definitely couldnt.

Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? uhhhhhhhh. im not entirely sure on that. everyone has such different styles.

What was the last thing you bought, other than food? i keep filling my sisters gas tank but im so broke.

Do you smoke? Or vape? Nope. I want my lungs healthy as long as possible

What are you dreading right now? this moving on from kile thing sucks. id love to not have to repeat that story

What brought about the end of the worst relationship you've been in? He raped me.

Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? my sisters

Do you have any step- or half-siblings? no.

Have you ever been catcalled? Yes.

How old were you when you started scheduling your own doctors appointments? When I became old enough to do so, i stopped doing it lol

Have you ever driven across an international border? No, i have not

When was the last time you spoke to a neighbor? a week ago

Is your best friend male or female? was male. now my best friend is female.

When was the last time you washed your bed sheets? right before i left for vacation

What do people always seem to think is weird about you? that i was homeschooled that i consider myself introverted

Ever notice how high schools in movies/tv shows are portrayed way differently than in real life? i dunno what is or is not realistic. I didnt attend HS outside of my house and Ive yet to see HS homeschooled version portrayed

Do you ever braid your hair? Sometimes. im not very good at it on my own head so i dont do it often. plus i hate that my face is mega chubby 

What food sounds the most appetizing right now? I have no appetite rn so nothing.