#i’m just so happy you guys enjoyed it

[myokk]

before it felt like a sin, ch. 3

ch.1, ch.2

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 2300

summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.

And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.

She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.

a/n: this is how I wish the duel could have gone in the game...😇🙏

I also want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the game’s plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I don’t remember), and I don’t see Eloise as the game’s MC either.

Eloise was being woken up altogether too soon for her tastes. Something soft was hit her face, and she sat up groggily, pushing it away. She blinked as she looked around, not recognizing her surroundings. It was disorienting not knowing where she was, although, as she rubbed her eyes, it was slowly starting to come back to her…Something happened yesterday, she thought. I…

“Come on, sleepyhead!” exclaimed Imelda, throwing more clothes on top of Eloise. “The house elves left these last night at the foot of your bed while we were sleeping. If you don’t hurry up, there won’t be any more food left for breakfast. And, you know that the first day of classes is the most important…”

As she continued rambling on, Eloise got up and started putting on her school robes. A dark grey tartan skirt with dark green and silver stripes, a cream button-up with puffy sleeves that she tucked into the skirt, a black ribbon to tie around her neck, and her Slytherin robes on top. She didn’t know how to feel about the day that was ahead of her; she felt a strange mixture of elation and apprehension.

“…you’re taking too long. I’ll wait for you in the common room,” Imelda concluded, giving Eloise one last look before striding out of their dormitory. All of the other girls had already gotten ready and left for the morning, which wasn’t really a surprise to Eloise. As soon as her head hit the pillow the second time, she had fallen into a deep sleep and hadn’t heard the bustle of the girls preparing themselves for the day.

She finished lacing up her boots, and after one last glance in the mirror to make sure nothing was out of place, headed out to find Imelda.

When Eloise walked into the atrium, she was struck by how different it felt in the morning. It was truly as beautiful now as it had been eerily peaceful the night before. Once again, light piano music playing in the background - Eloise smiled to herself, recognizing the Gymnopédies by Satie. Her piano lessons had been the only bearable classes at the muggle school, and she had excelled at the instrument, often practicing during her free time.

The piano music blended in with the murmurs of students standing or sitting in small groups around various tables filled with breakfast foods and scrolls of parchment. The greens and blues coming through the windows felt refreshing, and the whole room was glimmering under the reflections of the water playing across various surfaces. She could see plants swaying under the water, with schools of fish weaving between them. It felt…magical.

Eloise’s eyes were drawn to Ominis and she started walking to him, standing by the same window where they had been sitting earlier. Instead of being in shadow, however, he was now illuminated by the rays of sun shining through the water. He was smirking to himself as he listened to the two first-years next to him. As she got closer to them, Eloise heard them speculating about the possibility that they would get to see a mermaid.

“Oh! I think I just saw one!” one shouted at his friend, pointing out the window. “Oh, wait…it was just algae.”

Eloise walked up to Ominis, smiling despite herself. 

“Is this your idea of a good time?” she asked him, while he was simultaneously asking her how she had slept. They both paused as soon as they heard the other start talking, and then both started speaking at the same time after an awkward pause.

“Oh…I’m sorry. I…I slept well,” Eloise said, blushing. “And you?”

“As well as I ever do,” he replied. She noticed that the dark circles under his eyes were still very prominent, although they didn’t look eerie in the morning light. He indicated the first-years with a jerk of his head, changing the topic. “I doubt mermaids find us that interesting. I rather think they purposefully avoid our common room so as to not be treated like creatures in an aquarium.”

Eloise laughed at that and tilted her head playfully. “And just where did those two even get the idea that they might see a mermaid?”

“That, my dear, is a mystery. I surely have never seen one before,” Ominis said, standing up straight and taking his wand out. “I have been hearing a lot of chatter about you this morning, you know. It seems like reality has been mixed with fantasy in the tales of your journey here, and nobody knows the full truth.”

“Except for you,” Eloise pointed out, stepping into place next to him as they walked through the common room. She spotted Imelda, supervising some students playing chess and instructing them on the moves they should be doing. Imelda looked up and saw Eloise, and interrupted her own advice mid sentence.

“Eloise!!” Imelda bellowed as she practically ran across the room. Was this girl ever not purposeful in everything she did? The students around them looked up from what they were doing to watch her, and maybe get the chance to hear a first-hand account of what actually happened to Eloise. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were attacked by a dragon last night?”

“Oh, er…” Eloise couldn’t figure out how to respond to the other girl. Imelda didn’t seem worried or scared about what Eloise had gone through the previous day; rather, she seemed indignant that she hadn’t been told about the attack. Beside them, Ominis was laughing.

“It must have been terribly exciting,” Imelda went on, ignoring any response Eloise may have started giving. “A real dragon and all. I wish I was with you guys, I’ve actually prepared for what I would do in that very situation. I would definitely have diverted its attention away from you on my broomstick, and actually the best strategy would have been to…”

“I doubt you really would have been able to do anything,” Eloise interrupted. “It was terribly frightening, but at the same time the whole thing was over so quickly that I haven’t had time to process it yet.”

“Well, you can tell me about it on the way to breakfast. Maybe once you learn how to ride a broom, we can practice what to do together. You have first-hand experience, after all!” Imelda looped her arm through Eloise’s. She shot a look to Ominis. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m taking her now. We have a long day ahead of us, lots to do you know. The usual. Anyway, Sebastian’s coming over so it’s not like I’m leaving you completely alone.”

Before Eloise could even react, she was being marched up the spiral staircase that led out of the Slytherin common room and they were off to breakfast.

“Duelists, take your mark,” Professor Hecat said to the two students standing on top of the platform in the middle of the room. The duelists in question looked at each other warily, steadying their wands. Eloise was exhilarated. This was the type of class she had been daydreaming about while she sat wasting her time embroidering landscapes.

Professor Hecat hadn’t wasted any time putting the students to work. Although at first, many of them had scoffed at the thought of Leviosa being a useful spell in combat, Eloise listened attentively and focused on the correct wand movements. Maybe it didn’t actually matter, but she was determined to make sure that nobody would think that she didn’t deserve to be there. She had a lot of catching up to do, but between the books Professor Fig had given her and the knowledge she retained from reading from her family’s library as a child, she already knew a lot. She was quite pleased when the feather levitated as soon as she said the incantation, as there were other students who struggled to get theirs to even twitch in an upward direction.

Now, Eloise gripped her wand tightly in her hand, shifting a bit as she stared Sebastian in the eyes. He had said that she would get ‘a proper Hogwarts welcome’ and she was looking forward to it.

If the rumors she had heard before class were true, Sebastian was the best duelist in their year, and quite possibly at Hogwarts. Although she felt a little apprehensive at the thought of facing him, she hoped that he wouldn’t hold back on her just because she was new. Even if she had fought the guardians yesterday in Gringotts, she wanted to prove to herself that she could keep her wits about her in the heat of battle. 

Maybe her stance was a little too stiff, her movements too by the book. But that could only be changed with experience.

Sebastian smirked slightly to himself, no doubt thinking that this would be an easy victory. In the background, Eloise heard Professor Hecat say they could begin, but she was more focused on her opponent’s face. As soon as she saw him raise his wand and begin to open his mouth, she shouted “Protego!” and the shield blocked the spell he attempted to send shooting her way. His eyebrows raised in surprise - apparently he hadn’t been expecting her fast reflexes.

Quick as a whip, she shouted out “Levioso” and Sebastian was in the air. She hit him with a few more curses before he fell to the ground, breathing heavily. He pushed himself up quickly and went back into position. Wand out, now more wary of her capabilities. He blocked her next attack and went in for one of his own, which hit her shoulder. Eloise hissed in pain and immediately shot out a volley of quick jabs in his direction, a few hitting their mark before he put up a shield.

Sebastian was grinning as they circled each other, looking for an opening. The rest of the class surrounded the platform they were on, cheering them on. Both continued to attack and put up shields, without any clear winner in sight. It was obvious that they were very evenly matched.

“I’m pleasantly surprised,” he said as they were catching their breath between attacks. “I haven’t had a fight this good in a long time.”

Eloise just grinned in response, before shooting off another spell in his direction. It was expertly blocked with a flick of Sebastian’s wrist; in response he volleyed off a jinx towards her.

Eloise crumpled to the ground, yelping as she grabbed her ankle. Sebastian was immediately at her side, crouching down and looking at her with concern.

“Eloise? Are you okay?” He looked down at her ankle and then abruptly looked up and back at her face, a faint pink redness dusting his cheeks. He may have been dueling her, but it was distinctly different to be so close to her like this.

In response, Eloise grinned mischievously and quickly levitated him off the ground, getting to her feet at the same time. With a few quick curses sent his way, soon Sebastian was lying sprawled on the ground outside of the little arena Professor Hecat had erected.

“Not fair,” Sebastian exclaimed, rushing to his feet. He looked at Professor Hecat, who was looking between the two with a pleased smile.

Eloise smirked at him, only responding with, “Slytherin.”

Sebastian laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, making his brown curls even unrulier than they had become in their duel. He held his hand out to her and she shook it formally. “Good duel. You can definitely hold your own and I won’t underestimate you again.”

Professor Hecat clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class. “I hope you all paid attention to these two. Ten points to Slytherin for an excellent demonstration of what we learned today. On Wednesday, we will continue with practical application of the techniques learned during this class. I expect to see flawless wand work and concentration. I demand excellence from my students as I know you are all capable of achieving it. Class dismissed.”

As Eloise was gathering up her things, Sebastian sidled up to her. “Really, that was quite impressive. You seemed stiff at first, but it would seem you have fought before. You definitely give as good as you get.”

Eloise blushed and tucked some strands of hair that had come undone behind her ear. “Well, really, I had only read about the techniques before. Haven’t really had much time to put all of that theory to use yet.” She smiled shyly ad Sebastian, who was looking at her with his jaw open. “You fight really well, too. I had to use all of my focus. It’s kind of exhausting, actually.”

“But exhilarating, right?” Sebastian asked eagerly. The two of them started to head out of the classroom together, dwindling behind the rest of the students. Entirely absorbed by their conversation. “Everything else goes out of focus and the only thing in the world is you and your opponent.”

“Yes! Exactly that,” exclaimed Eloise. “I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

“Well,” Sebastian said slowly, dragging the word out as he thought. “You know, there might be a way. To continue. I normally would never do this, but…you know…”

“Know what?” Eloise prompted as Sebastian trailed off.

“You’re a really good duelist. Intuitive. There’s a certain exclusive club of sorts, one that may or may not be unsanctioned, where you can continue to hone your dueling abilities.”

“Exclusive and unsanctioned?” Eloise asked with a smirk. “You can count me in.”

“Excellent,” Sebastian replied, smiling broadly. “Sometimes, to make the most out of your experience at Hogwarts, you need to bend certain rules. They’re more like guidelines, anyway.”

“Merlin, Sebastian,” said Imelda, walking up to them and crossing her arms. “Don’t let yourself fall into any of his schemes. That boy is in detention practically every other day.”

“Or maybe,” Eloise said, “he’s just not good enough at avoiding getting caught. I, on the other hand… Come on, Imelda. Let’s go to lunch.”

She laughed as they walked away, leaving behind a dumbstruck Sebastian. He shook his head in disbelief and headed off to his next class.

next chapter

[rebornrosess]

A WORLD OF NOISE: THE ZABAJABA JUNGLE

ZABA by Glass Animals is 10 YEARS OLD TODAY.

A poem/stream of consciousness I wrote about ZABA on a rainy September night in 2022, one month after seeing Glass Animals live. ZABA was the album by which I found Glass Animals in 2018, and its abstract yet visceral nature continues to fascinate me. The more I listened, the more I felt I could understand the imagery drawn across its 11 tracks.

Essentially, I believe ZABA can be understood as a Queer reading and apologue of Plato’s allegory of the cave. There are many lines that allude to a (Queer) awakening from perceived societal constraints such as in Walla Walla (“it’s a ruse, all these creatures are a lie” & “i clap my hand and they’re gone into the night”), likely referencing the shadows projected by the puppet showmen in Plato’s allegory. Thus, the anguish expressed in songs predating ZABA’s release such as in Golden Antlers and in Exxus are symptomatic of a speaker trapped in a cave, unable to escape a deeper feeling of unease because they are only seeing the reality projected to them by a cisheteronormative system. It is only when the speaker escapes this metaphorical cave in Flip, the opening track of ZABA, (“I’m gonna shake my fetters / I’m breaking loose”), that they finally enter the confusing, overwhelming, but beautiful and fluid “world of noise” mentioned in Pools (and sonically created in Intruxx). Over the course of ZABA, the speaker wrestles with their preconceived notions of reality (Walla Walla uses a ton of imagery from The Matrix), relationships, gender, and sexuality, while simultaneously feeling betrayed by their family and society (Hazey and Toes).

The B-Side of ZABA dips into existential dread, as the speaker mourns the time they lost to the incomplete reality they had accepted in the cave, and the effects it had on their mental health (Wyrd), climaxing in Cocoa Hooves, as the speaker (or someone else), confronts them(selves) and the changes they have undergone in the ZABAJABA jungle. The speaker must choose if they wish to stay in the confusing yet euphoric jungle, or self-destruct (“set [their] wings on fire”) and return to the cave after flying too close to the sun and after indulging too deeply in their primal instinct. However, just as the freed prisoner in Plato’s allegory, the speaker runs the risk of never being able to live in blissful ignorance again, as their eyes may never re-adjust to the incomplete, crafted reality of the cave.

The last track of the album, JDNT, presents a conclusion as ambiguous as the title Dave refuses to explain. It is possible the speaker is accepting their doomed fate as prophecized to them by the antagonist in Wyrd, or radically accepting their outcast status, enjoying the “life untamed.” And perhaps, in the end, they triumph over their internal turmoil by recognizing it only has power over them if they allow it to, as it cannot “breathe without [them].” And thus, they return to the Earth, unfettered and born anew.

[seagull-scribbles]

♠️♣️ Play your card ♥️♦️

[hellsbellssinclub]

So,

I got the graduate nurse position I wanted.

So down in Australia (in most states I think?) we have a computer match system for Healthcare professionals to apply for public health networks to hopefully get a graduate position when they graduate.

(A graduate nurse position is for first year Registered Nurses, which I will be at the end of the year)

So, I did what everyone else did. I applied. I did the interviews. I made my resume pretty. I got my hair done. I brought nice new clothes. I did my damnest to stand out and be the best possible me I could be.

And I got my first choice. And I accepted the match.

Guys, I am so happy right now. In the next coming weeks I will have a contract and my rotations sorted. I will be starting off the new year as a registered nurse and starting my 30s off with a new job in a new hospital and I am just so

[cartoonchaos]

“gee i wonder why there’s still so much more fanfiction about male characters” “we need more morally complex female characters” “i love relationships that are doomed by the narrative” “more stories need to treat mentally ill characters with compassion and respect” “all his problems could’ve been fixed if he only went to therapy” you fuckers can’t even handle the ending of fionna and cake

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[phoebeprufrock]

Ok so Some Thoughts™️ in random order, under the tag for spoilers

The flash forwards

I find it kinda funny that a lot of people have been clamoring about how Midge is a terrible mother only to now complain about her kids not liking her lol personally I don’t think Midge is a bad mother as much as she’s a mother of her time, but then again… there’s plenty of gen Xers who have the same exact relationship to their mothers, so to me that’s fairly realistic — although realism is not why I watch this show, so it feels very tonally different so far.

The kids

I LOVE that Esther has so much of her mother’s mannerisms but all of Abe and Noah’s professional/academic inclinations - and conversely, how Ethan has Noah’s calm personality but completely different inclinations (I wonder if it comes from Joel’s side of the family and his closeness to his paternal grandparents? The Weissmans are not as devout as the Maisels — or maybe Ethan spent a lot of time with Noah and Astrid?)

I don’t know whether we had a spoiler for it and I forgot about it or whether it was in a fic and I also forgot about it, but it made sense somehow to see Ethan in Israel studying to become a rabbi; I can’t explain it but I watched and thought, “ah, of course”. I liked it.

It’s really sad to see them this kind of relationship with Midge honestly, I hope the flash forwards do advance the future plot as well and we get some kind of resolution between them.

What We Got Right

@alixinwwonderland !!!! I positively SQUEALED out loud when I saw the scene about the clothes auction, you absolute genius called a focus on Midge’s clothes MONTHS ago and it filled me with so much joy to see it onscreen. It brought up very fond memories of your fic, it was amazing 🥹

Also I absolutely loved how similar the show’s storyline about Midge getting hypothermia reminded me of @wonderlandleighleigh ‘s Midge getting injured in Fashionable People. It serves a purpose as a reckoning moment for Midge to reassess her life and take in Lenny’s words, and I very much liked it both in the fic and in the show.

I also personally felt vindicated in seeing Rose getting Susie/her goons to help her with the matchmakers mafia, it was hilarious and I am absolutely loving how enmeshed Susie is getting with the Weissmans (also her knowing about Zelda’s boyfriend was just absolutely chef’s kiss).

Also, I think we all pretty much saw it coming that Mei wouldn’t keep the baby and she would go on to become a doctor - idc if they meant for the storyline to go there or if it’s just because of Stephanie Hsu being ridiculously booked, but I am so happy they wrote it in and she’s happy and becoming a doctor (more on this later).

Oh yeah and I almost forgot, Gordon Ford is a dick and we’ve been saying it. Nice

Midge And Susie

This is……. Painful.

I almost cried when Midge apologized to Susie, and also later when she talked to Alfie about how great Susie is. For them to reconnect and make peace is the main thing I wanted out of this season, and their dynamic in the present is so nice and it’s amazing to see, I had missed seeing them being friends and I am so heartwarmed to see it happening.

But…………….. I honestly don’t even WANT to acknowledge the flash forward and that they are not friends, let alone client and manager, anymore. It’s just too painful, the story has been about Midge and Susie as much as it’s been about Midge and comedy, and I’m really, really sad. Again, I just hope the future timeline continues on and we get a resolution between them as well.

Midge

Midge in the present: amazing beautiful I am giving her a hug and cheering for her

Midge in the future: I am holding my judgment until I find out exactly what is going on. I don’t think they would butcher her character like that without a valid reason, I am hoping it all will make sense in a sort of poetic justice way. (Although I will say that her outfits are still bomb, good for her)

The Families

If there is one thing I will never get tired of, it’s Moishe and Shirley’s antics. The thanksgiving meal was a delight (Abe, I love you) and the two of them at the Button Club were everything I didn’t know I needed. And their reconciliation was so sweet to see.

Speaking of sweet… I just about melted when Abe and Rose went out to dinner and she opened up to him (also they were wearing matching outfits and I just. CANT TAKE IT 😭). I really hope nothing happens to them as a couple because they are just too precious.

Also NOAH AND ASTRID my beloved 💕💕💕💕 I was so happy to see them again and if they’re in every upcoming episode they will not be onscreen enough.

Midge and Lenny

Yeah I kept this for last because I just cannot handle the absolute hurt of that scene. I am in shambles still.

Just - the absolute vulnerability between them, the soft fucking way they spoke to each other, the mutual acknowledgement… it was heartbreaking to see them go their separate ways (temporarily, I hope), and yet there was just SO MUCH LOVE between them, so much tenderness despite it all. And Midge’s callback to him being a man with a lease was so good because there was no flirting anymore, just fondness and so much emotion. That “what is grief if not love persevering” quote was made for that moment, their scene together was just so beautiful and sad at the same time. I needed it to last at least twenty minutes longer.

Final conclusions and other thoughts

Yeah, this season so far has a very different tone from the previous - I think we got a hint of how sad the writers could go with Moishe’s medical emergency last season, and I think we can expect more of that intensity going forward. I appreciate the shit to a more dry, cutting type of humor and more serious topics from a writing perspective, and I think they’re doing it well, but I’m not sure how much I’m enjoying it in the context of the show and of what I wanted to see. I didn’t think they would go the abortion route with Mei’s baby, and I especially didn’t think they would write it off so quickly; it makes me worry about what else they will write off quickly.

Also, I need Imogene. Why do we have no Imogene. A disgrace I tell you.

These were my thoughts for now but there will most likely be more coming, and I cannot wait for the next episode

[deansmom]

If you've been following me for any amount of time you know that l'm not really that into celebrities relationships. Like if they're public about it and it's especially cute l'm only human y know, I'll be like "Wow that's so cute I love that for them"

But l'm on the verge of tears from *karma is the guy or the chiefs coming straight home to me" 😭😭😭😭 and the way that man BLUSHED?!?! Her dad looking at him and going "that's you big guy"?!?! 😭😭😭😭😭

Y'all, truly, to have been a fan of Taylor's for so long, to have seen most of her relationships play out in public - seeing a current partner being so publicly and loudly proud of her, letting her be the star she is, is just??? So???? Nice? Like he seems so secure and comfortable with himself and his own career and he has no problem being like “hey man, I’m just following her. She’s the star here” is so nice. The way they both support each other and loudly cheer each other on is so sweet and exactly what a partnership should look like. If anyone deserves a partner who is supportive and proud of her and to be with her, but doesn’t need her to be successful, it’s Taylor. She deserves a nice boy who will be good to her.

And I think she found one 🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[hanzajesthanza]

“regis’ soul wasn’t present with the rest of the hanza’s ghosts at the end of lady of the lake, so that means he survived!”

or it could mean that regis never had a soul in the first place to be with the rest of the hanza’s in the afterlife

😐

[starbuck]

sometimes i forget that there are people who listen to the mountain goats for the “quality” “music” and don’t consider anything anything older than ahwt to even be listenable…

[topflights]

i’ve got another 20 mins left in 2022 so i’ll get sappy rq. i’ve really, truly, genuinely enjoyed being on here w y’all this year. i joined wrestling tumblr near the end of 2021, so i’ve had this blog a little over a year now, and i’m really grateful i made it and joined you guys on here. thank you for looking at my silly little posts, thank you for thirsting abt wrestlers w me, thank you for sticking around and being generally welcoming to a new face around here. it’s been a really fun year enjoying wrestling with you guys, and i’m excited to do it more in 2023 💕💕

[seagull-scribbles]

Some requests of the Mutant variety⚠️

Also, with this post we have hit a milestone :)

[whumpy-wyrms]

hey guys

[tbcanary]

the thing. about outlaws. is that it has some really really nice moments and the team dynamic is lovely, and i have a lot of positive feelings about that. but the other thing about outlaws is that it’s a character assassination and the plots are so bad that i do want to set things on fire.

[bug-decal-kissing]

you are the best blog on tumblr i check this page so often for updates on fics even ones im subscribed to-

discovered so many good fics from you i wouldn't have read because i always put in very specific tags when i search

Heyo!

This made me so happy thank you so much 🥹/pos I’m glad you and other people are able to branch out and find more stuff, because there is so much incredible content on Ao3!! One of the main reasons I made this blog was so that people would be able to see works that appeal to them without exactly fitting into pool of interest; I’m so happy I’ve been able to do that :]

This blog is the equivalent of me peeling my oranges and sharing them with everyone we get to feast on delicious content together; peace and love on planet earth/silly

[positivelyapunovexponent-good]

The Fibonacci sequence cropped up sneakily on my first Algebra homework >:)

Love it when I find the lil guy lurking, it’s like spotting a minor trickster god out in the wild