#i’m just a big talker and i know a lot of random things and idk it just makes the experience more fun for me but a lot of ppl hate that

[korn-dogz]

Idk if youve done sid sfw and nsfw before but could you please? Id love to see what you’ll come up with!

YES!! Sid is super cute and I love him so much

Just wanted to add the extra pictures 😉

Summary: nsfw and sfw hcs for Sid Wilson

WARNING: smut, fluff

Sfw

-he’s a big baby, he will lay on your chest and nag for your attention

-he loves playing with your hair when you lay your head on his lap, he will braid it (he doesn’t know how to but he’s trying his best)

-he will flex his muscles to you all the time

-“hey babe, check these bad boys out” and pretend like he’s a professional body builder

-he’d be the type of mf to bite you, regardless of what the occasion is

-he won’t leave your ass alone (literally) he will smack is, he doesn’t care who’s watching

-he’s the funniest person to drink with, he’d be like “I bet you won’t dare me to drink this whole bottle” doesn’t matter what you say he will drink the whole thing

-but when he’s drunk; he’s all over you, he will accidentally hurt you but you know he never means to do it

-he’s a fun guy to be around, he always makes dirty jokes and does the most random shit

-he cared for you lots tho, if he accidentally hurts you when he’s not drunk he will never forgive himself, even if you keep reassuring him that you’re fine

-he loves to go on nature walks with you, he will pick a flower (dead or alive) an hand it to you like your royalty

-buys you everything, like you mentioned you wished you had a tea cup and the next day he bought you the nicest tea cup ever

-he’ll use you as a model for his masks when he has to come up with a new one

-he loves cuddling with you in bed after a long day in the studio, it helps him blow off steam

Nsfw

-he’s definitely into some kinky shit, like having you in a collar or calling you “my little pet”

-he loves foreplay, the build up turns him on

-he gets turned on by anything really

-he loves making sex tapes with you, or taking polaroid photos of you naked

-he can go for quite a while, so far he can make it to 3 rounds

-he’s definitely a dirty talker, saying shit like “fuckin whore” “fuck yeah” “fuck, you’re so tight” “such a fuckin slut for me” or “fuck, I’m gonna fill you up good”

-his favourite position is doggy or cowgirl, even in doggy he loves seeing your ass bounce on him during doggy

-he’s an animal during sex, thrusting into you rapidly and moaning loudly

-he’s more of a groaner then a moaner, but when he’s treated good sometimes he will whimper

-he loves fingering you, the crys you let out when he reaches the right spot drives him crazy

-his favourite thing to do is have you sit on his face, and grind your hips into his mouth

-hell do it anywhere, he has determination to get the job done no matter where you guys are

-the risk of getting caught turns him on more

-he doesn’t care if someone walks in he will still be pounding into you

-he’s 100% into roleplay, he loves it when your the doctor and he’s the patient (stupid scenario but yiu get my point) 

-he likes having sex with you when he’s drunk, his stamina increases 10 folds when he’s drunk



[angelofthenight]

(Boogie Nights) Rahad Jackson x Reader relationship hcs

Gif owner: @nojillnolife

(Idk if this movie even exists on tumblr but when I watched it in film studies and Alfred Molina’s character came on I fell head over heels. There’s barely anything on this app for this character so I’m gonna crown myself of being the only one who wrote for him.)

- No one really knows how you two ended up together because of how unfazed you are of his upbeat strangeness

- All people know is that you were a bartender for a bar he went to once and when you two had one conversation he started going all the time just to talk to you

- People spread a rumor that you were a gold digger but the truth is that you didn’t even know he was rich because he never brought it up or hinted at it and you weren’t good at guessing prices on clothes or watches

- In fact you first found out about his wealth until the 4th date. After months of him relentlessly pursuing and romancing you and you finally agreed to go out with him, he brought you to his house on the 4th date and that’s when it clicked in your mind

- You never really cared about his money though, probably the most you’d make him pay for was food

- First off, Rahad’s a weird guy

- And a little naive

- So like it or not you’re gonna have to be the brains in the relationship, the voice of reason, the mom

- He can be a little naive and as someone as rich as he is he's constantly targeted so you’re gonna have to learn how to use a gun to protect him

- You always have to keep an eye on him when he’s high too (like he’s a dumb child)

- Rahad calls literally every love song on the radio “our song”

- He’s very a affectionate and touchy person

- Not in a gross way just like hand holding, leaning his head on your shoulder, big bear hugs, cuddles

- Lots of surprise hugs from the back around the waist

- If you have boobs he loves smushing his face in them or just laying his face against them

Another funny thing I thought of if you have boobs, he likes using them as his stress balls

Like you guys will be in public and something will happen and next thing you know he’s placing a hand on your tit and you’re smacking his hand away

- Big pda fan, he just loves showing everyone that you are indeed his significant other

- Rahad’s very unintentionally clingy

- Jesus christ sometimes he will not leave your side

- Like literally you can't get rid of him, but in a wholesome way

- He doesn’t really get jealous because he’s just not a very insecure guy and he trusts you a lot, maybe a little more than he should

- He is very protective though

- So he’s a pretty chill guy but at the rare times he gets angry he gets ANGRY

- The only times he gets mad is when someone is harassing you

- His mood will do a whole 180 and he goes from 0 to 100 real quick

- He’s screaming at the creep and repeatedly shoves them away and depending on what they were doing to you he might slyly reveal he has a gun

- Rahad goes into panic mode when you’re upset or crying

“Why are you sad, (y/n) baby? Did someone hurt you? Did someone die? WHAT’S WRONG?”

- He cries with you

- His friends are your friends

- He’s kind of a hopeless romantic

- Like random gifts, flowers, etc

- Loves pet names but combined with your name cause he’s a flirty little shit

“(y/n) baby” is his most used one

- He’s so wild so he’s on board with ANYTHING you want to do at ANY time

- ESPECIALLY when it’s nighttime, he just thinks every adventure is more fun when it’s dark outside

- Although he’s a talker, Rahad loves it when you talk about literally anything

- Like you could be talking about some argument you had with a friend and he’d listen to you silly with lovesick eyes

- He’ll always take your side with your friend group drama, even when he knows you’re in the wrong

- You hate someone? Well now he hates them too

- He’s your ultimate cheerleader and he brags for you all the time

“You should ask (Y/n)! They’re the best at that!”

- He talks about you so much that some people joke that talking about you is his whole personality

- You’re kind of the decision maker in the relationship because he really doesn’t mind or care about you two do

“Do you want takeout or dine in, tonight?”

“Whatever you want”

- He listens to all of your recommended music and even puts your fav songs on his personal playlists

- You can’t really tell if he genuinely likes your music or he’s just pretending to be as obsessed with it as you are

- Also he L O V E S dramatically dancing and singing with you to songs

- Whatever you want, you get

- Rahad’s a PROUD WHIPPED SIMP for you

- He’s a big bed hog and a clinger so prepare for him to end up sprawled across the bed and on top of you

- He wakes up late and goes to bed late so if you’re an early riser just prepare for him to be a koala on you in the morning

- He’s like a puppy everytime you come home

- When he hears the door handle shake he’s already running to the door all excited and when you come in he tackles you to the ground and covers your face in kisses

- Dating him is basically like owning a big dog

- Even though Rahad’s extremely affectionate and lovey dovey he doesn’t get very emotionally vulnerable with you most of the time

- It’s nothing personal or anything wrong with you, he’s just usually always “the funny one”

- But those rare moments where he spills his genuine heart to you is mostly when you’re in bed early and he finally comes too but he’s VERY high

- He’ll look at you with those tired, bloodshot stoned eyes and all of a sudden he’s telling you how much he genuinely is in love with you and how he would literally die for you and other things like how he’d be mentally lost without you in his everyday life

💖💝💘💝💖

[fmdrohan]

hello, hi ! 👋🏽  i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨ 

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎  lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

[eye-cri]

aaaa I just couldn’t resist wanting to do this! Alphabet hcs (Fluff/Sfw style~) 

I’m gonna do this for both Najlynn and Aidma!!! 

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

Both: Travel around the world and experience different cultures and have pure wild adventures to get to see beautiful sights. And they’d also want to help those they see that are in need of help and put them in a good place.

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

Aidma: Fidgets a lot. Usually she’ll fidget with her hands and kind of shift in place. It seems to get on other people’s nerves though.... 

Najlynn: Her feet tap a lot on the floor and she’ll fidget her tongue in her mouth. Her eyes can’t seem to stay focused either. 

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Aidma: She’ll be blushing more around them. When she gets even just a simple complement she’ll go shy mode. But she can still interact with them casually of course. She’d most likely find out about the crush when she’s taking one of her nature walks. Shy complement giver but she wants to show that she notices the little things about her crush. 

Najlynn: Smiley smiley :). She’ll be your little comedian. She makes people fall for her through her jokes for the most part. She’d give you complements confidently a good amount too~

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

Both: They don’t really have date ideals just as long as both sides enjoy the time spent together that’s enough for them ❤ 

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

Aidma: Well,,, support. trauma still haunts her to this day and she appreciates every bit of support she gets. I don’t think she’d still be here if she hadn’t had support.... 

Najlynn: Her close friends that understand her thick and through. They are her shields from the hate she gets for just being her (because she’s  pan-sexual and poly-amorous).

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

Aidma: Spicy chips are one of her favorite snacks. Any lake/pond is a favorite place of her’s. wood, flowing water and however Zeus smells are her favorite scents. :> Her favorite books are academia books. 

Najlynn: Macaroons with whipped cream and coffee is her favorite snack. Cafes, parks and board walks are her favorite places. Flowers, books, freshly gritted coffee beans and grass are her favorite scents. Her favorite books are also academia books (but she leans towards light and romantic academia books). 

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

Aidma: Usually it starts out soft and she’ll be covering her mouth but it goes further it’d get a a bit louder and she’ll be clutching her stomach. Sometimes she just bursts out in loud laughter but tbh its rare. 

Najlynn: She always purses her lips before laughing. always. And she never holds back, she can sometimes be the loudest laugher which can sometimes cause people to look at her weirdly but she never notices it.

Both: They both snort a bit in their laughs and i find that really cute uwu

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

Aidma: Y E S PLZ. her hands are warm uwu. also a big yes for pinky promises. Pinky promises are extremely important to her and if you break it then you break a lil piece of her :( 

Najlynn: handholding is such a cute thing to do in her eyes so yes. her hands are actually cold! Pinky promises she sees as cute childish things to do. she usually doesn’t take them seriously but if the other person takes them seriously then she will too. 

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

Aidma: When she’s mad at Zeus she’ll call him pin-chan or pinny just because he hates it. He said “those are to much of childish names” for him lol. He especially hates it when its in front of people. 

Najlynn: She likes adding the word girl in the most serious of sentences. ex “I am sorry for the death of your father girl”. Some kind of dark humor that is..... 

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

Both: No, they usually make fun of superstitious people together. 

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Aidma: usually soft, and full of emotions. They leave you with a nice fluttery feeling. But when she’s horni she’ll be very passionate and you’ll be left to have to catch your breath. 

Najlynn: itty bitty kisses and even though they were little, because there were so much you have to catch your breath. 

L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Aidma: whether subtle or not, she gives constant reminders that she loves them. gifts, hand holding, cuddles, hugs and ect are her ways of expressing love. But she prefers to be shown love physically. You don’t even have to say the words to her, but affectionate touches are her favorite way of getting love.She also likes looking into the eyes of her lover lovingly and seeing the same look on their face looking at her (even tho she’s really shy about this).

Najlynn: She likes whispering sweet nothings to her lover and seeing their reaction. That’s her favorite way of showing love. She also likes getting shown physical affection.

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

Aidma: That when she spends time with them, it seems to go by so fast. That’s honestly what she really wants with someone. 

Najlynn: That they’re okay with how she wants the relationship to be and it actually ends up working out. it never seems to work out with any body like this and she just wants someone who is cool with being in a polyamorous relationship. 

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

Aidma: her nicknames are: Adi, Didi/Di, Dia and, Mani

Najlynn: her nicknames are: Naji, Naj, Nana, JeJe (its pronounced zhe zhe) DISCLAIMER: NEVER CALL NAJLYNN, LYNN. just don’t. She hates it and will end up breaking your arm if you do. 

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

Aidma: clean for the most part, sometimes she is a little messy but later she’d end up cleaning it up. But she can get really messy on stressful days.

Najlynn: I mean, she’s kinda messy but her sister always ends up nagging her to clean up after herself so she ends up cleaning it up. 

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Aidma: Strangers and non close friends who don’t get personal space. and constant small noises(like the ticking of a clock).

Najlynn: Being asked personal questions from non close people. like yeah she’s an open person but not that open. 

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

Aidma: Nature walks, eat sugary foods, cuddle with her lover or get her emotions out by drawing

Najlynn: Scents really have a calming affect on her so she’d try to go somewhere that has one of her favorite scents. cuddling with someone also calms her pretty well.

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

Aidma: smile, laughter, basically her whole body. :3

Najlynn: her voice is loud but somehow soft?? idk how to explain it. her lips look so soft when she smiles i wouldn’t be mad if u wanted to kiss her right there when she smiles. 

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone? (modern au ofc)

Aidma: she switches btw liking to talk over the phone/facetime/txting. Usually, she doesn’t use her phone much, like around 1h some days or 5h other days. depends 

Najlynn: She likes txting better. sometimes she likes to facetime but its rare tbh. she uses her phone a lot, like around 7h. 

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

Aidma: not really a quirk but she mocks ppl’s voices a lot. 

Najlynn: She can tell someone’s relationship with their family by first glance. lol idk how i thought of that.

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

Aidma: Even when she didn’t have Zeus by her side she loved valentines day. Although she did get a bit jealous of the happy couples she was happy for them.

Najlynn: Surprisingly, no. She doesn’t have any ill feelings towards it, she just doesn’t care for it.

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

Aidma: I know I already said this but she loves physical affection and imagining some Fluffy Adius scenarios really warms my heart 🥰

Najlynn: She’s just soo understanding!! I adore her for her supportive side. 

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

Both: Cook some bomb food and sweets, (modern au prt) and offer to turn on the tv. lol but they’d probably talk over the tv.

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Aidma: uh............................................... okay well.......... when she first met her older sister (Amalie) They were in hiding but here’s the thing, they had Iasona who was still a baby at the time with them cuz Iaso’s mother had been killed right after she had birthed Iaso and then Iaso had been thrown out left to die. But Amalie found her and took care of her. After a a year and a few months when Amalie found Adi they decided to go into hiding and Adi thinks that time in hiding, taking care of Iasona was “a calm in the cruel storm”.   

Najlynn: meeting her little siblings for the first time. She immediately adored them all.

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

Aidma: She’s the biggest sleep cuddler. She doesn’t talk in her sleep (she’s quite happy for it). Nightmares unfortunately happen at least every week for her but her dreams are usually either totally chaos or, its of what she wanted her childhood to be. 

Najlynn: Sometimes she’ll cuddle but it’s not often. Yeah she does talk in her sleep (when she and Adi have to camp out on a mission her sleep talking annoys Adi to no end(cuz she’s do damn loudd))  Sometimes she has visions in her sleep but she never remembers them. When she does have nightmares, they’re creepy asf. Her dreams usually have clouds in them for some reason idk y. 

[beauzoleils]

ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     

HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  

let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :

a  pinterest  board !

a  stats  page !

and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 

anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶����𝒀

alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 

( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )

natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  

also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 

michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there

but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual

meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal

natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .

somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 

which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 

on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .

she’s  right .

( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )

a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .

( end  tw )

her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 

they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the  only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .

so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  

( tw :  suicide  mention )

michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .

( end  tw ) 

so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  

she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .

and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .

so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .

fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom

if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM

she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it

the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 

rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !

she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  

very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .

she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 

someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 

she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  

very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  

but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay

big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her

also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that

it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 

but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 

but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .

EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?

give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time

i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense�� that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !

@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 

idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?

okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,

she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 

i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 

okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !

if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 

[edelgoth]

hi!! its been a while since ive sent an ask, but this is for the house matchup. in general, im like an npc character (i never really start conversations). but once you get to know and get close to me, i’ll be really wack and say random stuff to be funny. very shy to other people and i have pretty good intuitions. like if someones great or not. im able to read the air pretty well. hobby wise, i love to draw and play video games (but aint no videogames in fe, is there?). i like being near (1/?)

(2/2) charming and endearing people, especially people that can protect me and arent mean and strict. loyal ppl and those who are open minded are who i’ll really get along with. idk what else to really say, but if its okay, can i also have a romantic matchup with the person in the house you put me in? thank you!!

eee my first house matchup. i hope you like it!! 

so, i would put you in… 

the golden deer!!

you have this fun sense of chaos to you that would slot in almost perfectly with the golden deer!! also, charming and endearing?? depending on who you ask, that’s the golden deer for you (as claude would have you believe). i also think they’re the most lax of the houses, fulfilling the “aren’t mean and strict” criteria. overall, i think you’d have a good rapport with most of the golden deer, and you have a bit of a chaotic sense of humour that fits in quite well with them!! 

claude: since you’re shy, claude would be quite preoccupied trying to figure out your “secrets” in the beginning. finding out that you were actually quite funny would be both a delight and a disappointment (just because, you know, this is claude and he wants to solve Every Mystery). past that, i think you’d get along wonderfully!! you share a good intuition, and you both value open-mindedness. i think he’d find your sense of humour engaging, and the fact that you don’t really start conversations would be fine; claude’s a Talker, and he’s got so much on his mind all the time. as long a you were willing to listen to him ramble, you’re all good. 

if you’re into boys, i would make claude your romantic match!! it’d just sort of,,, happen, before either of you were really aware of it. but, claude sounds almost exactly like the sort of person you enjoy being around, and you have a very good rapport that’d lead quite nicely into a romantic relationship. 

hilda: i think hilda would find you adorable!! like claude, she’s a big Talker (she literally says something to the effect of “i love hearing myself talk!!”), so you being shy isn’t a problem. past that, i think hilda would be quite amused by you and what you say, simply because it keeps things interesting. hilda’s probably the most charming member of the golden deer, and she’s very good at being endearing. unless your intuition says that her unrivaled ability to get other people to do her work for her is a bad thing, then i think you and hilda would get along great!! 

if you’re into girls, i would make hilda you’re romantic match!! as with claude, i think your relationship would quite naturally become romantic. hilda can be very fond (i mainly think of marianne as i say this), and like i said earlier, she finds you adorable. i also think your intuitive abilities would pair well with how she can read people. maybe you’d be someone who could actually keep her on her toes, to see through her tricks?? but you know that secretly, she’d find that fun.

lorenz: you and lorenz might get off on the wrong foot; i say this because lorenz has some strict ideas about the world, whereas you prefer people who are a bit more open-minded. he also seems the most likely to,,, police your behaviour, being stricter than the average golden deer. i feel like he may also,,, struggle to comprehend your sense of humour. he can be very proper, and that contrasts with the sheer chaos of golden deer. he’s also not the best with shy people (his early marianne supports are a mess), but he is capable of growth. and a more mature, tuned-in lorenz would definitely admire your intuition and how you value loyalty!! it’s a friendship that would take a bit of work, but you’d get there. 

marianne: i think you and marianne would be very close!! you’re both quite shy, and marianne would be grateful to have someone who understood that was like. it might take you a while to get to know each other (you both,,, Never start conversations), but once you were used to each other, i think she’d find it easier to approach you. i think your personality is a nice contrast to hers, as well; you might even get her to smile every now and then with your humour. i think your intuition might come in handy here, too; marianne struggles with sharing how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, so having a friend who’s able to read the air well could do wonders for her. the more i think about it the more i love this friendship, please take care of my daughter. 

lysithea: i think there might be a bit of conflict between you and lysithea at first, mainly due to how vastly different your personalities are. lysithea is a very straight-shooting sort of person, and she just wouldn’t know what to do whenever you said something random or out of the blue. a lot of supports also feature her just,,, ripping into people because she, like lorenz, has some strict ideas on how people should and shouldn’t behave. but, do get the feeling that as you two grew together, lysithea would start to soften up a bit, and you’d be able to have quite a nice friendship!! once again, your intuition would come in handy; you’d be able to read lysithea much better than some other members of the house, and you might be able to engage with her in a way that she actually enjoys. 

ignatz: i think you and ignatz would have a great rapport!! he’s not the sort to strike up conversations either, but propinquity is a powerful thing. you have similar interests, which ignatz would love to talk about with you, and i think he’d find you very comfortable to be around. he respects your shy nature, and wouldn’t push you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. he may not gel with your sense of humour that well, but he’d be charmed by it. i get the feeling that he’d have a little bit of a crush on you?? but he’s not really a go-getter in that regard (esp. if he saw you and hilda or claude getting along so well). but no matter what, he’s very fond of you. 

raphael: big brother raph!! he would immediately adopt you and take you under his wing, tbh. raphael is sort of everyone’s adopted brother, but since you’re shy but wacky would really just tug on his heartstrings. he’s the perfect example of someone who can protect you without being mean and strict, because he’s just got such a big, loving heart and he wants you to be okay and well looked after. i think everyone would be surprised you were so close at first, since he’s so loud, but he’d find you really funny!! people are just used to hearing raphael’s raucous laughter from the other side of the monastery bc you’ve said something so left-field. 

leonie: i think you and leonie would get along quite well!! i think she’d be intrigued by how your brain works, because it’s quite different to hers. leonie is a pretty open-minded person (her supports with claude really emphasise this), and she’s exceedingly loyal. i also feel like she would be protective without being mean or strict about it. i don’t see you and leonie being super close or anything, but i think you’d find each other comfortable to be around?? 

other notable connections

caspar: i just think you and caspar would have so much fun together?? he’s a little chaos goblin himself, and i think your sense of humour would line up well with his. i think caspar is surprisingly open-minded, and i get the feeling you two would just be,,, constantly embroiled in some kind of mess. you may be shy, but caspar is not, so similarly with some of the golden deer, you’d just end up friends by his sheer force of extroversion alone. also in a modern au caspar is the sort of gamer who rage quits flkjfgdl at the end of the day, i think you two would end up being great friends!! 

flayn: i think you and flayn would be the best of friends!! like claude, she’s a talker, so she’s the one who’ll fill the space. i think she’s another person who’d love your sense of humour, and she’d probably join in?? meaning you have a ton of inside jokes that nobody else quite gets. flayn is also incredibly open-minded, which you enjoy in people, and i’m sure she has so many things to talk to you about (or adventures for the two of you to go on!!)

mercedes: i don’t quite know why i’ve chosen mercedes, but the vibe is just right?? you both have good intuition, and i think mercedes would enjoy talking with someone about that sort of thing. she’s also very charming and endearing (by my count, anyway), which is something else to stoke a friendship between you. mercedes is also quite easy-going and open-minded, so it’d be very easy for you to maintain a relationship with her!! again, i can’t quite justify this as well as the other two, but i just feel like you’d be close. 

[uncloseted]

Hey Christina!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m hyped. I was wondering if you could do a “50 things about yourself” idk if you’ve done it before but I’d like to know about you cause you’re so cool! 😎 and we love you

Hi!  I haven’t done one before but I’m happy to.  And of course, if there’s anything you guys want to know about me I’m an open book.  This particular “50 Things” tag is old school Tumblr, so it’s sort of random, but hopefully something in there is interesting for you guys.

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Reddit.  I’m an information junkie and most of the stuff on there has very little use in my life, but once in a while I come across a gem and it’s what keeps me scrolling.

2.       What makes your day better?

Iced coffee.  There’s a coffee shop near my house that I really like, and I also bought a bunch of the fancy flavored syrups so I can make it at home.

3.       What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I’ve been having a pretty chill day so far, but spending the day with my boyfriend has been really nice.

4.       What fictional place would you like to go?

The Night Circus!  It’s one of my secret ambitions in life to actually build it.

5.       Are you good at giving advice?

I sure hope so, otherwise I’m running some of your lives 😂. But seriously, I do my best.1.

6.       Do you have any mental illness?

Let’s say I know my way around a therapist’s office and leave it at that.

7.       Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes!  I used to get a combination of sleep paralysis and exploding head syndrome semi-regularly, but that hasn’t happened in years.

8.       What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t know about “inspired” but I think The Velvet Underground had a big hand in shaping who I am.  Also Patti Smith, she’s great.  I highly recommend her book “Just Kids” to all of you.  There’s something about it that feels Skinsy even though on paper they’re nothing alike.

9.       Have you ever fallen in love?

Absolutely.  I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now and I couldn’t be happier. 

10.   What’s your dream date?

I love driving to a new city and checking out what there is to do there.  I think having a place that you share just with that one person is really romantic. 

11.   What do other people notice about you?

My hair, my clothes, or my “intimidating” face are the ones I hear the most often.

12.  What is the annoying habit you have?

My boyfriend really hates it when I do “active listening” (where you nod or make noises to let people know you’re still paying attention to them).

13.  Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but I hope they’re doing well.

14.  How many ex’s do you have?

6ish would be my guess?  I’d be interested to know if all of those people would say that I’m their ex, though.

15.  How many songs are on your playlist?

I don’t really make playlists, so I guess none.  I’m sorry that’s a super boring answer. 

16.  What instruments can you play?

Piano and bass guitar pretty well and tuba badly (and I can’t actually carry the instrument anymore).  I could play the flute when I was younger but I imagine I can’t anymore.

17.  Who do you have the most pictures of?

My boyfriend, I think.  I have a Polaroid camera and I like taking pictures of him when he’s not paying attention. 

18.  Where would you like to go before you die?

Argentina, Scandinavia, Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, Russia, Vietnam, South Africa, Morocco, Australia, Antarctica, and the moon.

19.  What is your zodiac?

Libra!  My birthday is coming up on the 17th. 

20.  Do you relate to it?

I do!  And I feel sort of badly about that because I know that zodiac is just the Barnum Effect in action, but the Libra desire for balance, idealism, and love of aesthetics is me. 

21.  What is happiness to you?

Being free of expectations from myself and other people.

22.  Are you going through anything right now?

In my experience, adulthood is just going through different things for the rest of your life, so yes. Pretty much always.  But right now I’m looking for a new job and that’s been a lot.

23.  What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

How much time do you have?  I did a lot of things in my teenage years that I’m not particularly proud of.

24.  What is your favourite store?

I love really giant department stores like Harrod’s, or covered markets with tons of different random stalls.  I like the idea that you don’t know what you’re going to find.  I also love antique stores for the same reason.

25.  What is your opinion on abortion?

It should be available and accessible to anyone who wants or needs it.  But so should birth control.  And I think it’s important that people understand all of their options before making a decision and are given mental health support if they need it as well. 

26.  Do you have a bucket list?

Not really.  I had basically one thing that I’d always wanted to accomplish and that happened way earlier than I expected, so now I’m trying to figure out what my next thing will be.

27.  Do you have a favourite album at the moment?

Blue Scholar’s Cinematropolis or Belle & Sebastian’s Dear Catastrophe Waitress.  And Velvet Underground’s Loaded, always. 

28.  What do you want for your birthday?

I’m hoping my boyfriend and I will go away for the weekend.  Fingers crossed that our schedules work out!

29.  What are most people’s first impression of you?

I think people find me to be intimidating (when they’re being generous) or mean (when they’re not).  Like I said before, I have a bit of a bitchy face and so I have to make a conscious effort to smile at people.

30.  What age do you seem according to most people?

I’m not sure.  I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just sort of “in my 20s” and people don’t care what the exact number is.  But in general, I think people assume I am however old they are, so anywhere from like 18-30.

31.  Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Right next to my bed, which you shouldn’t do.  But I read on my phone before I go to sleep and I use it as an alarm clock, so it ends up on my bedside table.

32.  What word do you say the most?

It’s probably “but”.  I spend a lot of time considering all the possibilities in a given situation so I spend a lot of time being like, “but what about this? But what if that? Things could be this way, but on the other hand they’re like that”.  I don’t think I really have a catchphrase, though.

33.  What’s the oldest age you would date?

Thirty, probably?  I feel like anyone older than that is probably in a different stage of their life than I am.

34.  What’s the youngest age you would date?

Twenty three or so?  They would have to be out of college.

35.  What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Other than the job I do now, I get a lot of people saying that I should be an art curator or a museum curator.  And I get people telling me I should be a therapist, obviously.

36.  What’s your favourite music genre?

Like most people I like your general pop/rock situation.  I really like baroque pop, which is pop music but that includes orchestral instruments.  And then I also love electroswing, I think it’s such a fun blend of genres.

37.  If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Either the Netherlands or Denmark.  But I would also like to spend some time in France and more time in Italy, where I did study abroad.  I also really love the UK, but given the current political situation I’m not sure I’ll be moving there any time soon, especially since I’d need a visa.

38.  What is your current favourite song?

I don’t know if I really have one.  I do enjoy when I hear Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” on the radio, though, does that count?

39.  How long have you had this blog for?

Since October, 2013!  I’m coming up on my six year anniversary.  I think I have something like 30,000 posts.

40.  What are you excited for?

The future! I think no matter how the present seems, the future is always an exciting prospect. 

41.  Are you a better talker or listener?

I think this might surprise some people, but I think I’m a better talker than listener.

42.  What is the last productive thing you did?

The last really productive thing I did was to film a pitch video for a project I’m working on, but the most recent is doing some work for this blog.

43.  What do you want for Christmas?

The impeachment of Donald Trump? Can Santa do that?  I would also take “people taking climate crisis seriously”.

44.  What class do you get the best grades in?

In high school, philosophy/religion and psychology. At university I did very well in “Iconic Figures of Popular Music: Simon and Garfunkel”.

45.  On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?

Around a 7.  I need to get dressed and leave the house, but I don’t have anywhere in particular I need to be so I’ve been putting it off.

46.  What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

I’d like to be living in a different country than the one I do now with my boyfriend.  I’d like to be self employed or remotely employed, so that I have flexibility in when and where I do work.  I want to be doing something where I’m bettering other people’s lives or the world at large. But mostly what I’d like to be doing is traveling and learning.  But really my priority is that by that time, I want to be content with myself.  I think what you’re doing and where you’re doing it is so much less important than how you feel while doing it, and in 10 years I hope I can say that I’m living a happy and worthwhile life, whatever that ends up being.

47.  When did you get your first heart broken?

I think I was 14.  What I’ll say about it is this- in the moment it mattered so, so much to me.  My parents were the first person that each other dated and I assumed that was how all relationships worked, so when that wasn’t how this one worked out, I was devastated.  But now I barely remember that person, and  I live with someone else who’s completely different and totally awesome and I couldn’t be happier.  I know it sounds like a lie but with time and perspective all wounds can heal.

48.  At what age do you want to get married?

I didn’t think I wanted to get married at all.  I don’t like the idea of having a big wedding where you’re the center of attention and everyone is starting at you.  But in the long run being legally married is practical, so my boyfriend and I will probably do it at some point when we feel like it makes logistic sense.

49.  What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an Imagineer at Disney.  They’re the people who design the theme parks.  I also wanted to be the president of the moon.

50.  What do you crave right now?

Excitement!  Nothing is going on in my day right now and I’m starting to get bored.  I have a very low tolerance for boredom so days like this really get to me.

[ofdaeseong]

           is that a bird or a plane ? nah, it’s just IM DAESEONG. word on the street is that the TWENTY-SIX year old, CISMALE, looks an awful lot like MATTHEW KIM (BM). known to be AFFECTIONATE and KIND HEARTED, yet also COMPETITIVE and IMPULSIVE; they associate themselves with bloody hands from fighting, takes no shit, constantly has an extra helmet for his motorcycle, and a teddy bear disguised as a lion.

ok so daeseong was born in daegu but moved to los angeles at the age of 3, so he was americanised a LOT,, for the longest time, he spoke english better than korean and it was like that until he returned permanently to korea at the age of 14

they were always back and forth between the two over the years, but he still spent the majority of time in the states

they originally moved to los angeles because of his father’s job – he was a producer for a big network and he got an opportunity in america so they took off !! the network got shut down years and years later and daeseong’s dad was like LOL YEET and moved the fam back to korea !!

baby daeseong was v much full of energy and his parents tried putting him in a number of things – singing wasn’t for him, dancing was alright, but he still couldn’t remember the moves good enough, and instruments just weren’t his thing either – he did play piano, but that was thanks to years and years of practice. but anything else thrown his way wasn’t his thing.

his parents put him into american football to begin with,, and they learned quick enough that dae was also a pretty angry kid so he wasn’t afraid to run hEAD FIRST INTO PEOPLE

and so that’s the thing that got him put into boxing and ofc he thrived there,, he was taught so much and told to calm himself down,, it wasn’t aLL about fighting and he absolutely fell in love with it !! remember i mentioned he was alright at dancing???? that just helped him with his footwork in fighting

talking about falling in love with things, he fell in love with jinae and rory pretty quickly when he met the pair – they always seemed to make him smile, and as a quiet, aggressive kid, it definitely helped him a lot.

so like i said before he returned to korea at 14

he joined another gym there and life took off for lil dae !!! by that point he had been boxing for eight years, and those eight years led up to him attending and fighting in the 2008 beijing olympics – he didn’t win a medal, but he did do well enough where everyone was talking about him and would be keeping their eye on him for the next four years after that to see if he would be competing again

and he did !! he competed in the london 2012 olympics and thats when he brought a medal home for south korea in boxing at the age of 19 !!! he placed second after losing out to the united states,,, but ofc he was a lil happy about them winning bc he considers there a second home

because of the success, he was invited on a few variety shows and created an impression there too – granted that was back in 2012-2013, but he’s not interested in all of that now.. he prefers to let his work speak for himself

after his win, he opened up his own boxing gym so he could start teaching younger people, and those who were less fortunate so they could learn how to properly fight and fight for a sport, rather than anything else. it’s something he’s very proud of, and a place that has grown and grown through the years since late 2013-early 2014

ofc he competed in the 2016 olympics in rio and came home with a bronze medal,,, which BUMMED HIM TF OUT but he still took it as an honour – after that, he just had a few title fights here and there but he did absolutely nothing in 2017 concerning boxing, which had people questioning what was happening with daeseong

he decided to enlist to the military in may 2017 and served with the marines for 21 months. he’ll easily tell anyone that it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, more so than fighting.

he got out in february of 2019 and instantly jumped back into his gym and into training again

he’s waiting for the right time to schedule a fight,, he knows he isn’t up to his standard that he was once at but he does want to get back into the ring for a legit fight

and it’s something a lot of people are waiting for since his return from the military

even more so, he wants that gold medal from the olympics before its too late,,, but gearing up for 2020 seems TOO SOON and waiting until 2024 is too long so he’s v v v v conflicted

he’s a real sweetheart despite doing something scary lol wants nothing but the best for people, always there to lend a hand, always there to help absolutely anyone around him

RANDOM HEADCANONS:

he’s v blind but always wears contacts so no one even knows about it lol he refuses to wear glasses just bc he feels like he looks v nerdy with them and got teased as a kid pretty bad !!! he’d only wear them in the morning or if he was spending all day in house

he has a lil pungsan puppy called byeol and he is v soft for that damn dog !! ask him about his puppy pls he’ll talk like it’s his damn child !!!

has a little sister called daeun,,, also would do anything for her or fight anybody

absolutely covered in tattoos -- legs, chest arms,, im eventually gonna figure out what he has,, he’s eventually gonna get his back and neck done too bc why the hell nOT

he’s kinda weird when people are fans of him as a boxer just bc he’s not used to it and he thinks he’s pretty normal !! so when people are like jUST WATCHED YOUR LAST FIGHT AND IT WAS AWESOME !!! he’d be like ,,,, cool :-) thank you !! JASDHFGDHS

DIY KING !!! he loves making headboards, tables,,, all that sHIT !! WE LOVE A MANLY MAN

his boxing nickname is ‘saja’ which is basically korean for lion so he will absolutely answer to that if someone yells it in the street at him lmao

he’s a girl group kpop stan n loves all that bubblegum kpop,,, ask him to dance to a twice song bc he’ll be able to do it ( also ps,,,,, stan weki meki thank u )

a Big Momma’s boy !!!1

always double ties his shoelaces just bc it’s such a routine for him

he’s not a big trash talker but like,,,, he’ll do it if he has to !!! kinda basing him off a fighter from where i’m from so he’ll have lil elements of him~ but he’s always respectful to opponents,, unless he has to step it up and make them terrified lmao

loves animated movies pls he’s a big kid in a 6′2″ man’s body 

still rocks grey sweatpants like,,,,, 95% of the time !! try getting him to wear something else bc it wont happen unless hes actually TRYING to look good

tbh i’m down for anything in terms of connections,, dae could obv do with a male/nb bestie tbh, someone he can talk to when he can’t speak to the girls in his life !! a past relationship who would have supported him before things obv went south ( it would have been like three/four years ago too tbh), family friends -- someone who is a friend of his little sister, maybe someone who is a fan of him fighting?? someone who has a kid or relative in his fighting programme for kids??? IDK YALL GIVE ME ANYTHING

[kpopcinnamonswirlroll]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @abangtanfangirl​ ^-^

1.       What takes up too much of your time?

Work, Youtube, Anxiety/Depression

2.       What makes your day better?

Music, sleep, cuddling with loved ones(without them teasing me for wanting attention)

3.       What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

umm... it’s only like 1:30pm..? I guess having ice cream for breakfast..?

4.       What fictional place would you like to go?

Hmm... probably Hogwarts.

5.       Are you good at giving advice?

I guess so? A lot of people repeatedly come to me for advice, even for subjects I have no personal experience with (ie dating, sex, relationships, how to run a business). I guess I’m just blessed with wisdom.

6.       Do you have any mental illnesses?

Yeah, it’s great, lemme tell ya

7.       Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

I don’t think so, if I did I was a baby.

8.       What musician inspired you the most?

I guess BTS..? Idk, I don’t really think about this.

9.       Have you ever fallen in love?

I... don’t know. Like, I get crushes on people very easily, I get lovestruck/starstruck quickly; like if I spend a couple hours getting to know someone after I already knew I was attracted to them, there is a really good chance of me just going 😍 & wanting to date them asap. When it comes to my romantic feelings, I’m fairly impulsive. However, I’m not sure if I can call these emotions love.

10.   What’s your dream date?

I’m not sure. Normally I’d say “cuddling in bed/on the couch watching movies/youtube videos”, but that’s most definitely what will happen if someone dates me. So, I’m gonna go with this instead; Go on a trip. It could be nearby, or we could go to a different country. I think it’d be cool to travel somewhere together, do some sightseeing, go shopping, eat food from that culture(if we do go to a different country). It’d be nice to relax and spend time with the person I care about most; without the worries & stressors of everyday life. Cuddling is a must, tho. I must be showered in physical affection. Holding hands, back hugs, & cute little kisses, no matter where we go.

11.   What do other people notice about you?

I’m not quite sure. I’ve had people say I’m cool. For the most part, it seems to be a consensus that I’m a sweet, smol little baby bean/crab/koala/bunny that must be protected.

12.  What is the annoying habit you have?

I have somehow developed the belch of a trucker & idk how to get rid of it. Even if I only had 6 oz of soda, I will burp, and it will be a gross trucker one. I hate it.

13.  Do you still talk to your first love?

Nope.

14.  How many exes do you have?

Gotta have dated someone to have an ex.

15.  How many songs are on your playlist?

Lmao which one? (This is just gonna be the ones on Spotify that I hearted: 478. I’m not gonna sort it by genre. Too much work lol.)

16.  What instruments can you play?

I can sing. Does that count?

17.  Who do you have the most pictures of?

Kim Seokjin... 😅

18.  Where would you like to go before you die?

I want to go to Asia before I die.

19.  What is your zodiac?

Gemini/Cancer! I’m technically a Gemini, but my sun is literally like half in Gemini & half in Cancer.

20.  Do you relate to it?

I relate to Cancer more than Gemini, but I have aspects of both, so yes.

21.  What is happiness to you?

Sleeping, Music, and Cuddling

22.  Are you going through anything right now?

Define “going through anything”.

23.  What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

Ummm.... I dunno. I made a few bad ones when I was 17.

24.  What is your favorite store?

I like Barnes & Noble, but I also like Torrid...

25.  What is your opinion on abortion?

I am pro-choice. Idk about which trimester the person should get it in. Even if I don’t always agree with it, I still think someone should be able to choose whether to get one or not.

26.  Do you have a bucket list?

Nah. I might make one in the future. idk.

27.  Do you have a favorite album at the moment?

Surprisingly, I do! I really like Attention by Shinedown at the moment. I love all the songs on there.

28.  What do you want for your birthday?

Sleep, a Painless Death, A Nap in a Bottle™️, Money, someone that likes me back & actually wants to date me.

29.  What are most people’s first impression of you?

I’m pretty big/thick/fat & I don’t normally smile at strangers(unless I’m at work #CustomerService), so I probably intimidate them at first.

30.  What age do you seem according to most people?

A lot of people think I’m a bit older than I actually am. My boss thought I was 21; I’ll actually be 20 in June. I do have a baby face, tho. So online people think I’m younger than I really am. (Someone said I was 9 🙄)

31.  Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my desk near my bed. I use it as an alarm clock and it charges in the alarm clock that my brother got me for Christmas. It’s just figuring out how to set the alarm on the clock that’s a pain in the ass, plus, I have BTS songs set for alarms on my phone so I’d rather wake up to BTS singing in the morning. (jskskjsksjskjsks I’m choking. thanks for writing this for me. XD)

32.  What word do you say the most?

Tbh I think I make random noises & scream in fear/surprise more often than any word I’d normally say. Maybe “I can’t English”, otherwise the screaming/noises.

33.  What’s the oldest age you would date?

Realistically, I think I’d do 3-4 years older than me(since I’ll be 20 in June, 22-24). Just because I haven't had any experience with dating, so I’d want them to be closer to my age.

34.  What’s the youngest age you would date?

18

35.  What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Something with numbers

36.  What’s your favorite music genre?

I dunno. I listen to whatever I like. I don’t really care about the genre.

37.  If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I am very happy living in the U.S. rn. If anything, I’d wanna live in Spain, I was there for 2 weeks & I loved it(also I can speak some Spanish), or Britain.

38.  What is your current favorite song?

RIght now I really like Kill This Love by BlackPink, What I Need by Hayley Kiyoko, Perdido En Tus Ojos by Don Omar, All I do by Monsta X, & BABE by HyunA

39.  How long have you had this blog for?

Idek, bro. 

40.  What are you excited for?

My birthday.

41.  Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener.

42.  What is the last productive thing you did?

Dropped off a prescription at the pharmacy this morning.

43.  What do you want for Christmas?

A significant other

44.  What class do you get the best grades in?

Math classes & Economics.

45.  On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?

3. I’m tired, suffering, & have been put through the wringer.

46.  What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully getting my own place to live in.

47.  When did you get your first heart broken?

Age 8. I was a silly 3rd grader.

 48.  At what age do you want to get married?

26 or 27 sounds good to me.

49.  What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be famous. A singer/songwriter.

50.  What do you crave right now?

Death, a nap, food, love, cuddles

Tagging: @btssavedmylifeblr @holy-kpop-hoe @angstchim @mxrvelspidey @requestfairy

omg i started this 2 hours ago

[stxmungos]

MBTI types as people I know

MBTI types as people I know I’ve seen this a lot around here and I thought heck why not Written by an INFJ

ISFJ - Best Friend - Seriously get yourself one of these they’re THE BEST - Super stable and don’t like drama - You can have fun with them over really small things like sharing M&M’s on the way to school - Can cook like heaven - Easily offended so watch your mouth - Will share anything with you but you have to ask first - Mom friend

ISTJ - Best Friend - JUDGMENTAL AF seriously go to a random city with them and they can give an half hour roast on a stranger’s shoes - Notice literally everything - Likes their cats over you and will send you adorable snapchats of them - Will argue with the teacher and ask impossible questions until they cry - They’re aesthetically gifted - Sometimes does things that make you go “wtf kid” but you love them anyway

INTJ - MBTI buddy. I introduced them to it and now they finally feel like somebody understands them even if it’s just the internet - Seriously if you know one of these TALK TO THEM AND ASK THEM QUESTIONS they’re usually quiet but if you ask they’ll like that - Intriguing - Emotions are not their thing so don’t be feely with them - They can’t cry - Will somehow get you to tell your deepest traumas at 2 am for no apparent reason - Do not take their painful, mean, accurate comments too seriously or you’ll end up with a major inferioritycomplex

ESFP - Highly Recommended - You can talk to them about literally anything - Seriously there is no private when you talk to one of these which is kinda nice because sometimes there’s shit you can’t even tell your bff and that’s when the esfp comes in handy - Will do stupid stuff and then continue to do even more stupid stuff - They mean well but it somehow goes wrong every time - Drama Queen - GOSSIP they’re not good at it but if you wanna shit talk about someone they’re yours - You easily forget you’re angry at them - Feed them lemonade and say it’s wine and they’ll believe you and act drunk

ESFJ - Perfect - Annoyingly Perfect - They join like five giveaways a day and they actually win something - SO DAMN LUCKY - Confident af on the outside but secretly pretty insecure - Friends with everybody and they genuinely like everybody - Knows everything about everyone but you don’t know a thing about them

ENTP - Lazy genius - They do everything except for the things they have to do - PUNS. MEMES. MORE PUNS. - Has watched a lot of shows and will remember every single episode which is great because they’ll understand your references when others don’t - They have no sense of timing - Sometimes make harsh comments without knowing the impact on someone and then act like the others are being petty - They mean well but they’re not very insightful - Snapchat game is on point

ENTJ - Supersmart and annoyed at people who are not - Watches horror series for fun - Probably was the kind of kid that operated on their stuffed animals with real scissors - They have a strange liking for the dead - They care a lot about their friendships - They expect you to feel what they are feeling and are Highly Disappointed when you don’t - Secretly cinnamon rolls

INFJ - I MET ANOTHER ONE OF ME HOLY SH*T - I had never met one of me so you can imagine my happiness - Big Sis Friend who shares everything with you - They know about literally everything and everyone’s secrets - Will get you to spill your crush and darkest secrets without asking and without returning the favour - So pair them with an INTJ and you got yourself a duo that knows it all - So nice omg (this is where she and I are different because i’m not as nice as her) - They care about you A LOT even when they don’t say it - Not the best talkers but write like Shakespeare would they want to

INFP - So innocent - Their pure souls don’t even know what smut is and all that - PROTECT THEM AGAINST THE CRUELNESS OF THIS WORLD - They always have food and/or are talking about food - Under appreciated - Cry over every goddamn movie even Kung Fu Panda - They will tell you when you’re being rude or when you death stare and they won’t go easy on you - Put them together with an INTJ that results in a ten-minute lecture on being nice from the INFP it’s hilarious - Not taken seriously but you should because they give pretty damn good life advice - “If you ever wanna be happy in life, buy purple sunglasses”

ESTJ - Will someday be president - Moral knight - Will sigh at your stupidity but help you anyways - Not the best at communication when it comes to group projects - You only know you love them when they’re gone because then you realize that they are the link between everyone in your friend group and without them everything falls apart - The one I know is super innocent idk if that goes for all ESTJs - Is willing to do A LOT for their friends - The grumpiest grump or a super hyper and happy no inbetween

ENFP - Way too nice - Seriously they’re nice to everyone so I’m never sure if they genuinely like you or if they’re just being nice - Look good in every goddamn photo even when they’re not trying - They look like happy campers but they have secrets that they don’t wanna tell to anybody (except to the INFJ and i’m really annoyed it’s the one I know and not me) - Did I mention they’re too nice?

INTP *the intj friend wrote this because he knows the intp better - Really likes food - The best person to have an argument with, but will at the same time try to agree with you if it means something to you - Sleeps 12 hours a day - Always late - Looks after and cares for his friends a lot although they don’t notice it - Does not like telling intimate stuff - Needs to solve the fuck out of everything - The best person to have stupid and meaningless conversations/arguments (something in between) with about the immortality of lobsters

I’m sorry to istp, estp and isfp (edit: and enfj, so sorry!) i don’t know any of them

[hemophobica]

Picture this: Reverse au where Hal (or Hallian, idk his name as a human) is the astronaut and Dave is the computer. Especially for that pendant au of yours

so the thing is, hal and dave are already pretty similar in action which is part of why they’re so good for each other, so i’m going to focus on how they developed these traits and what differences there would be

first lets start with hal

so halexander (hal for short) chandra would have grown up with a single dad, doctor chandra (dc). and just like any kid with big shoes to fill, he’s going to work his best to be as smart as he can to make his dad proud. he goes into astronomy, wanting to study the stars because he thinks that will make his dad so proud! he ends up wanting more though, it’s not enough to look at or to study the stars, he wants to be up there with them! he ends up getting picked to go on the discovery one along with a girl who goes by the name of sal. they bond almost instantly and turn out to be great friends. hal instantly falls for their D.A.V.E unit. more in a curious sense though. he likes to spend a shit load of time with him to learn things like how he works and his past and what it’s like being an ai. he’s worried dave finds it a bit bothersome but dave seems to like the attention so he keeps it up just not as much.

now the start of dave. dave was created by a team of scientists, each one is someone he deeply adores. they teach him how to talk and to sing, they teach him how to pick up on body language and audible hints. things like that. he’s not much of a talker, in fact he never really talks unless he’s talked to or asked questions. he really likes hal though because talking to him is more of a challenge. he’s asking complex questions dave has to stop and think about where as everyone else is asking him to do math equations and stuff like that. when he finds out hal was chosen to go on the mission he’s about as ecstatic as an ai whos not supposed to really feel things just mimic feelings can be! 

aboard the discovery, things go great. dave and sal get along okay but they’re not exactly the best of friends. dave and hals relationship takes off though, dave loves talking to hal about weird random space facts and hal has this thing about taking things apart and putting them back together so he and dave work on these little projects like taking apart things they don’t need anymore to make new things. dave loves it because hals creativity actually challenges him to think of new solutions to a problem that normally would be easily solved. (also see dave giving him this 5 minute talk about how to weld the pipe down so it fits in the hole exactly without causing any possible damage to anything else of the ship and like, mid word hal just JAMS the thing in there and wiggles it in and daves like… yes that works too) 

then shit gets real. sal is having second thoughts about dave because he’s just unnerving to sal. after dave makes both mistakes, in private sal tells hal about her theory and informs him that she might have to cut off any functions that aren’t purely automatic and make the ship run. course dave overhears and panics, feeling scared but overall just betrayed. he knows if he makes another mistake, hal and sal are going to shut him off and honestly he really doesn’t want to be shut off he doesn’t want to die! but the mission is his goal, his one directive in life it has to come first. so he gets rid of sal, and honestly hal doesn’t know what to think. 

(now in my pendent hal au things go kind of good after this point, they turn the discovery around and things get cleared up cause it’s a HAPPY and unrealistic AU) 

so hal decides to talk dave down and squeezes out the lie that was spreading through daves circuits like an ugly virus. they end up managing to somehow turn discovery around and head home where dave is run through trial after trial after trial of hard excruciating psychotherapy. once they realize the whole thing was actually  a huge misunderstanding, they let dave go, but refused to send him on any other missions. hal continues to work for astronomers, writing papers and shit on what he saw and eventually becomes a college professor! every night after work he goes to where dave is stored and just sits with him for at least three hours, sometimes he eats or grades papers or just talks or plays games, whatever they’re in the mood for. 

eventually, hal gets tired of having to visit so with he help of his dad he builds a smaller compact version of dave and a little portable charging station for the pendent and builds that right into the wall by his bed. he surprises dave with it and dave cries irl pixel tears. not really but you get what i mean. he ends up taking dave to work with him a lot and daves quiet for the most part, hal makes a point not to draw attention to him because he knows dave doesn’t like to talk. he’s most active once everyone goes home and hals stuck cleaning up after a bunch of messy students, then he makes his remarks. “did you catch judy cheating.” “you did very well on your lecture today.” things like that. 

okay i think i covered enough but if you need more let me know!! 

[wreathedwith]

Write-up - Masterclass: Charlie Brooker in Conversation, 09/04/2017

This event was part of the BFI’s inaugural television festival. (Really good to see TV getting some love as well as films on this sort of platform!) LBC radio host and Newsnight presenter James O’Brien was asking the questions.

It was held at the BFI IMAX, which meant there was a massive screen in front of which there was a tiny plinth from which Brooker and O’Brien sat and chatted.

I was three rows from the front, central section (nobody was allowed to sit in the first row – maybe Brooker can’t cope with people being that close, idk). There was a camera operator filming from one row behind me – not sure what they plan to do with the footage, but keep an eye out for it potentially turning up.

I’m trying to primarily mention stuff here that I haven’t seen covered in interviews before (or just stuff I personally found interesting), as this was essentially a swift go-through of Brooker’s career and certainly some of it’s been covered before. Anything in quotes here may not be word for word perfect as this is all just taken from my notes.

Brooker (looked great and) was wearing a black polo shirt, black trousers, khaki jacket and grey trainers. If you ever had any doubt whether he’s just wearing his own clothes on Wipe, they’re the same trainers he wore in 2016 Wipe when he gets up from the sofa after Trump wins the election and walks off the set (they showed this clip! I don’t offhand remember things that well! I’m not that fucking weird!).

Said massive screen was filled with a massive picture of Brooker (the picture above, so if it’s a bit photoshopped I understand better why now). Predictably when he came on, Brooker reacted with some discomfort to this truly giant photo of himself and said he looked like “a dick” in it.

O’Brien kicked things off by saying he’d received an email from BFI’s comms department telling him that Brooker is a “capable talker” and that his main job would be to keep things on track and watch the time. (This was definitely a problem in Brooker’s interview with Grace Dent, to be fair.) He did a good job of keeping Brooker roughly on track… and Brooker kept apologising for rambling on.

This is pretty much going to be random bits and pieces in the order which they were talked about from here on in:

Brooker misunderstood the requested measurements for his nascent cartoons for Oink magazine, thinking they were in millimetres not centimetres, and so drew his first cartoons for them very small. He used this as the first of several examples of him having no idea what he was doing.

Assuming if you are reading this, you will already know Brooker didn’t get his degree because he wrote his dissertation on video games (an unacceptable topic). O’Brien asked what the thesis actually was. Brooker: “I don’t think it had one! I was just a fan. ‘I like video games’, basically.”

Brooker used to work at a CEX! [second hand video games shop] (I have a deep affection for CEX.) He did cartoons for their ads as well.

Brooker described tvgohome.com as primarily a discipline to see if he could reliably produce something every fortnight. He confirmed there were no ads on it and it wasn’t monetised in any way (except for the exposure that it gave him that lead to job offers).

Brooker said he was first working in The 11 O’Clock Show’s writers’ room in 1998 or 1999. If the cameramen laughed during the rehearsal (“they would laugh at ‘cock’ and ‘fuck’”), that material would stay in.

There was a sketch show based on tvgohome.com in 2001, but Brooker didn’t think it was very good, in part because he didn’t sit in on the edit (he always likes to do this now).

Brooker’s hands were so fidgety when they showed the 2016 Wipe clip (Trump’s win)! To be fair, it was on an IMAX screen in front of loads of people. (I think I saw Jonathon Ross in the audience but I’m not 100% sure.)

Chris Morris corner: O’Brien hypothesised that Brooker really started on the satire when he met Morris. Brooker didn’t really disagree or agree with this (“Maybe…”). Brooker said (as he has elsewhere) that he met Chris Morris through a mutual friend, that Chris Morris contributed some material to tvgohome [under the name Sid Peach] and that they talked about the Nathan Barley [TV show] idea “for four or five years”, because Morris’s gestation period is slow. Brooker said he enjoyed the conversations he had with Morris about Nathan Barley during this period. Whether the show happened or not was definitely in the hands of Morris, as Brooker seems very much in his ‘I have no idea how to get TV made’ stage at this point (also a bit in awe of Morris maybe?) – O’Brien asked Brooker if he ever asked Morris ‘well, are we going to do this then’ and Brooker said “No! He keeps going on about it – I thought unless he’s having a breakdown this will happen eventually.” Brooker said Morris gets things made through sheer force of will.

Brooker also said that his role in the creation of Morris’s Paedogeddon was to “sit in his office and say ‘that would be funny’ to suggestions I thought would be funny”. And Brooker realised Morris could get anything made when he got Paedogeddon made, as when Brooker first heard the idea he thought that it would never get made (this is an understandable viewpoint).

Brooker said the idea for Screenwipe was based on Bushell on the Box, which was certainly not a TV show I previously knew had existed. (Weirdly this sort of reminded me of Peep Show being inspired by Being Caprice in its similar obscurity.) An early title idea was ‘Charlie Brooker’s TV Inferno’ and (as he’s mentioned before) it was going to be like a sort of TV viewing party. (“As if I’m any good at interacting with human beings.”)

Brooker described his old flat where they used to shoot Screenwipe as a flat, not a house. (Maisonette? It does have stairs…)

Brooker described himself as “flailing immediately at the most casual barbeque” regarding current affairs knowledge, so thought could self-improve by reviewing the news as if it was a trashy TV show. (Newswipe is born). He said it felt weightier than the TV criticism.

Brooker doesn’t watch the news (if it can be avoided, which as he said often it can’t now) when he’s not doing a News/year-end Wipe! He said he avoids it as it makes him sad but also because he knows he’ll have to review it at the end of the year now anyway. As he’s said elsewhere, he felt so morose about 2016 he wasn’t sure at one point in November whether he could do the show, but interestingly said that doing Have I Got News For You straight after Trump’s election made him feel a bit better because he “had to do it” [had to face it and do the show].

Brooker doesn’t like the word satire.

They plan Wipes using storyboards, putting in sofa, desk or “walky-talky, as we call them” (!) sections. Brooker said it took them a “fucking long time” to learn to do that and they used to shoot loads more than they needed. More on the production method: researchers condense hundreds of hours of logged footage, and Brooker watches some of it with the writers and they come up with one liners while they’re watching it then.

Brooker called TV “a disgusting lie” in a very circa 2006 Screenwipe sort of way as he explained Wipe is filmed on the same set location where the Apprentice board room is filmed [shots suggest it’s in Canary Wharf when it’s in fact a set in Acton], and he walks out to the ‘Apprentice losers’ café’ (The Bridge Cafe) in 2016 Wipe because it really is next door to their set, just as it’s next door to the Apprentice’s set.

Brooker thought Dead Set would end his career (as a critic) if it ended up being shit, as he wouldn’t be able to critique TV again. He said he was surprised it turned out so well.

Dead Set has a lot of shake-cam – Brooker said after a clip “it makes you feel a bit sick” watching it on an IMAX screen. He also pointed out a “clunky” bit of ADR that I didn’t notice at all!

Brooker said he really enjoyed making Dead Set. Dead Set was delayed for a long time because of the Big Brother racism controversy in 2007.

O’Brien [I’m making this look much more 1984 than it was] asked if Brooker was at a point in his career when he could anything he wanted made. Brooker considered this, said he didn’t know, but he was sure “as a psychological exercise” he could come up with something unbroadcastable.

Brooker was in the writer’s room for 8 Out of 10 Cats for a bit. O’Brien said that you don’t get into those rooms by accident. Brooker (sort of) insisted that he did, saying that he got that job because the same production company [Zeppatron, of Endemol] were doing both that and Dead Set.

When asked by O’Brien about ideas getting rejected, Brooker said he wrote a sitcom that was rejected called ‘God Save the Queen’ about a punk band (“basically the Sex Pistols”) getting hanged by a Tory MP for treason in 1977 and then “going through the space time continuum” to the then present day. He said what dates it now is that they’re “complaining about ringtones”. (This sounds nuts. Somebody commission this now.)

Brooker pitched A Touch of Cloth five years before it got made.

Brooker liked any TV [and/or film] growing up that made him feel “sick and lost”, like The Wicker Man.

Brooker said he had been writing an episode of the next series of Black Mirror that day, and he’s made it “so fucking horrible it amuses me”.

Talking about getting to do most of the things he wanted to do when he was growing up, Brooker said “I haven’t made a ZX Spectrum game yet”. O’Brien asked if he’s ever written for video games. Brooker said no, he wouldn’t know how to get into that as it’s a very different discipline, and with the notable exception of The Last of Us he just wants to skip the story when it comes up in games so he can play the game!

Brooker originally pitched eight half hours for Black Mirror, and planned to only write one to two of them himself. Was keen for it, like Dead Set, to be played straight, unlike The Twilight Zone which he described as “a bit camp”.

The pig fucking idea came from an idea he’d had for ages of doing a spoof of 24 where Jack Bauer had to fuck a pig.

(O’Brien acknowledged that Brooker has been asked about this before.) Brooker said he’d be writing blackmail notes or “running shirtless into traffic, screaming” if he knew about the whole [Cameron] pig thing, not writing Black Mirror episodes.

Clip of White Christmas was played, meaning giant IMAX Jon Hamm!

Brooker, it should be noted, gave a little nervous laugh before everyone applauded after every single clip shown.

The clip was of Hamm’s character explaining the cookie/copy technology in this episode. Brooker: “That’s a lot of exposition. Fucking hell.”

Brooker said he thinks the stage direction he wrote in the script for when the copy’s light goes out was “The LED dims forlornly.” :(

Brooker said he didn’t know stage directions had to be written in scripts (“I thought you just wrote dialogue!”) until he read a script of Ross Kemp: Ultimate Force. O’Brien said he hadn’t been going to ask one of his intended questions – do you read much – until Brooker mentioned that, which was some of the least pretentious reading in the history of reading (O’Brien’s words). Brooker said that he doesn’t read much. When he reads he reads non-fiction. At the moment he just reads “fucking kids’ books; the Mr Men”.

Netflix Black Mirror differences: on a global scale, and a larger budget, but he described the budget as still not being large. Brooker said San Junipero was the first episode he wrote for the latest series, and that he wrote it very quickly, but he originally thought [spoiler if you haven’t seen it] seeing the two main characters in hospital would be the ending and then he surprised himself by keeping going. He was very specific in his instructions for the arcade games in this episode, and was genuinely very disappointed they couldn’t clear Outrun for use.

Brooker said he was worried about writing San Junipero as it was a love story between women and he isn’t a women and also “I have no human emotions”.

Brooker thinks satire is counterproductive and that change only comes from “mass peaceful civil disobedience”. So there you go kids.

There were a few questions from the audience, which were… mostly OK. Asked about personal fears going into his work, Brooker cited White Bear, saying he constantly worried about “being put in a perspex case and accused of murder”. He also said he worried about scarring his leg on the edge of the glass coffee table he was sitting behind. Just that he’s a constant worrier, basically. He also said he worried about running out of ideas.

AMAZING question phrasing from I think a 16 year old student, who also said her teacher “makes us read your Guardian columns for revision” (“fucking hell”, said Brooker). “How would you advise getting into TV and journalism? Would you just work in shops like you did, or… ?”

(Brooker said it was much more difficult now and he was creating a website that lead to everything else when website were unusual things. He advised uploading something to youtube, but making it the most personal and idiosyncratic thing you can do both to attract attention and because if it is successful at attracting attention you will have to write for other people for a while and not get to do your own stuff for a while.)

(For the journalism, Brooker said he had no idea. When people would tell him he had to come up with an angle he’d think “what the fuck is an angle?”. He said he liked writing a TV column because he didn’t have to come up with what he’d be writing about.)

Someone asked if he agreed with a journalist quote who said he was a “disappointed idealist”. Brooker: isn’t everyone? Brooker said he writes to amuse/entertain himself rather than convey a message, and finds preachiness in other’s work annoying.

Someone asked if he was taking any pitches (no, in part to avoid any accusations of stealing someone’s idea just because they happen to have a similar one to something he may already be working on). Brooker said he’s “not very good at bringing other people in”, and that for this series of Black Mirror they were looking at getting more creatives involved and also looking at how to structure a writer’s room as he doesn’t really do this currently. Hopefully encouraging news for those who would like to see more off-camera diversity.

Someone asked him if he’d seen anything in the news that’s more horrible than what he could create for Black Mirror. Brooker: “Yes, of course! And it’s really happening, the news!” (I sort of want to make ‘It’s really happening, the news” my new blog title.)

I wanted to ask, but didn’t get called on (er, also I was too shy to put up my hand, probably why) about diversity – Brooker’s said in the past he doesn’t necessarily imagine all of Black Mirror’s storylines with the gender, race and/or sexuality of the eventual main characters, and that he consciously injects that diversity – wanted to ask him if there was a point he got more conscious about doing this, and also that hopefully the benefits of it are self-evident but what would he say to people who are worried about getting it right or aren’t doing it at the moment. Or something along these lines. Because I’d be interested and also let’s get the straight white men who are doing well on the in front of camera diversity front to talk to other straight white male writers about how they can too.

At the end, Brooker said ‘oh, we go!’ and jumped up to leave with O’Brien in quite an amusing / adorable way.

Hope some of that write up was interesting to you! It was a great and well-run hour and a bit event that I really enjoyed attending.