#i’m in my destiel feels 😔

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

destiel is just. you weren’t made for me. we weren’t made for each other. we were both made to serve heaven. but because of the love i have for you, i created a better way; i forged a better life. you weren’t made for me, and i wasn’t made for you. but here, in this one life, we chose each other. in an infinite number of universes we’ll never know, we don’t exist in, we didn’t mean this much to each other. but in this one, despite everything, we chose each other anyway.

[insanesonofabitch]

AU where destiel gets confirmed like, 3 seasons before the finale because Cas unknowingly hooks up with a siren, revealing his love for Dean. But then the siren uses that to make him attack Sam and Dean.

Sam’s trying to pull him out of the situation, “Dean! DEAN!!! We need to get out of here!!!! DEAN!!!!!!” But Dean is just standing there, unmoving. Every moment spent, every word exchanged, everything. Everything came raining down, crushing him underneath. Cas is pointing his blade against him and he cannot move a single muscle.

[casismybestfriend]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

thanks for tagging me @trentcrimminallybeautiful ! 💕💕💕

this got long, oops

are you named after anyone? — i don’t think so. i think my parents just liked the name. altho coincidentally my name is the feminine version of one of my dad’s middle names, and of a another relative’s name. and apparently my mom had a close childhood friend with my name as well

when was the last time you cried? — like, maybe a couple hours or however long ago when i saw that one meta destiel despair meme, you know the one. but like properly? i’m not sure

do you have kids? uhh no. seems a bit personal, person who wrote this post template 🤨

do you use sarcasm a lot? — ✨no✨

what's the first thing you notice about people? — their hair, maybe, or like the way they carry themselves, idk

what’s your eye color? — brown 👀

scary movies or happy endings? — i don’t think these two things are comparable, or mutually exclusive. but i always love happy endings!

any special talents? — i think i’m a pretty decent traditional artist (but none of my good art is on my blog so pls don’t go checking lol). i also have quite a good eye for detail and a knack for learning new skills; i feel like a jack of all trades sort of person, which i guess is the opposite of your question…

where were you born? — canada 🇨🇦 *coach beard voice* dual citizenship, babey!

what are your hobbies? — drawing, wasting my time on tumblr, biking around, making bracelets, a little bit of gardening rn, and mildly bird watching

have you got any pets? — not anymore 😔 my beloved doggo passed away about a year ago (he had just turned 15!) and it was very hard for us to go through. he was quite literally my oldest and closest friend. we’ve been considering getting a new dog soon, but we have to be sure that we have at least one person at home at all times to help raise it from a puppy

what sports do you play/have you played? — as a kid i was made to join ballet, softball, baseball, and soccer teams, and i was terribly average at all of them. on my own time i enjoy badminton quite a bit, but our lawn is infested with moles so now it’s too dangerous to be running around on there. and as a kid we would build an ice rink in the backyard and play hockey which was super fun. oh, and i also did marching band for a few years and i’m including it as a sport because fuck you that’s why (not you you. you as in the faceless being that determines what a sport is)

how tall are you? — i think i’m 5'5"/5'6" ish, so about 1.66 meters ?

favorite subject in school? — i’m not even sure anymore. i’ll cheat and say design because that was my main subject at university

dream job? — i would love to be paid to travel the world, see sights, and learn new languages. like, imagine a few months or one year per country, ooohh

tagging: i’m tired, so instead i’m just gonna open this up to anyone who wants to do this, mutual or not, following me or not. consider yourself tagged by me!

[that-barn-in-illinois]

main blog

hi! i’m em (@loosethreadsofyoursoul) and this is my spn sideblog bc i realized my spn hyper fixation was interfering with the whole multi-fandom/interest thing

some things about me:

23, queer, she/they

chronic dean girl 😔

destiel truther

queer!sam truther

would kill for any of the spn women

watched spn after it ended because my best friend asked me to and i shake my fist to the heavens about it daily

relatively new to tumblr so i am still feeling my way around

follows from loosethreadsofyoursoul are me :)

*minors & wincest shippers dni*

[funkylittlebidiot]

Got tagged by my dear friend @just-inside-her and it’s been a while since i got to talk about myself so here we go

3 ships: I’m going to spice things up by not counting ships i’ve previously mentioned on this blog; Destiel (😔), Germangie (German and Angie from Violetta which i’ve been rewatching in Spanish. it’s good okay and she’s LITERALLY his nanny how i could i not.), and I’m currently rewatching Stranger Things in preparation for s4 so i’ve got to say Beyler (Will/Mike)

First ship: if we go back REAL far to before i even knew what shipping was it’s got to be Bloom and Sky from Winx Club. Or hell, for the Dutchies in our midst; Nienke and Fabian from Het Huis Anubis 👁✋🏻

Last Song: Happier Than Ever - Edit by Billy Eilish (And i don’t talk SHIT about you on the internet never told anyone anything bad because that shit’s LITERALLY embarrasing)

Last film: ... ... ... it’s been a while so i genuinely can’t be sure but as far as i remember it was Paranormal Activity 3 (I enjoy the plot)

Currently eating: nothing, but we’re about to eat Spaghetti Bolognaise (made by my dad so Extra good)

Currently craving: food is the farthest thing from my mind right now

Tagging: @salty-ironstrange-shipper because ♥️🖤, and (diving into my notes for this one but don’t feel pressured etc) @strange-in-motion @ursamajor17, @theragingpan @genius-stark,

[wulfnerd]

2021 Fic Year In Review

@raisesomehale Tagged me, o/

Total Number Of Completed Works:

348 This is just drabbles and ficlets tho =P

Total Word Count:

45020

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year less, or about what you’d expected?

Yes! Way more. 🤣 The last time I wrote fic it was on livejournal. Don't remember what in September inspired my to write, but it has been fun so far.

Fandoms I’ve Written In:

Teen Wolf (Sterek 🤯)

Supernatural (Destiel)

Most Popular Story Of The Year?

On AO3

Courting Gifts, sterek, g, 100w ◌ Talia just wants to read her book in peace, is that too much to ask?

On Tumblr

boy look at you looking at me, sterek, g, 100w, A day at the beach

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?

This is hard to answer for me. It's a Schrödinger's fic situation in my head. After I write something, it's out of my head; but the second I see it again, I remember all the back-story and details. So favourite? Not yet.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?

Continue the challenges, finish more of my non-drabbles. If I can get better at writing, participate in an event.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?

Does choosing to write at all count?

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion:

None so far. I like the drabbles, and the fandom seems to like them too. I didn't like the sterek ficlet, and no one else did either. We are in sync so far.

Most Fun Story To Write:

I have a fic, that isn't even on my WIP game list (that list feels old already), that randomly wanted to be written and fun to write. =P Canon AU Witch!Stiles (rhymes and potions style) w/Timetravel shenanigans (with Derek), tho who knows what I may cut. It is rough. lol

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

There must be something, I'm sure, but I don't know. Sorry. Maybe once/if I finish a few more longer fics it will be more obvious.

Biggest Disappointment:

I write so slow most of the time. 😔 Also, focusing on one thing. The bunny jumps from story to story. Which only works well for drabbles. I want to finish something to see if I can, or if it's rubbish and I need to stick with drabbles and ficlets.

Biggest Surprise:

No lie - that people enjoyed them. I wrote random ideas I had, not knowing if people would appreciate or acknowledge them. That people do is amazing.

My Favorite Part Of The Fandom This Year:

Everyone is so supportive and welcoming, these days. All the conversations I see are positive (with one trollish exception 🤪). On the stories - I see all the comments (both direct and in tags) and likes and it feels grand. I rarely reply tho since my only reaction in the moment is !!!!!! 😲😭 ಥ‿ಥ

Thanks for the tag. I am not tagging anyone (who has done this already? did I miss it?!) but I encourage anyone who follows and writes to do it too. 😘

[lateral-org]

Tagged by @vicarious-rebel​

Pick 10 ships without reading the questions.

1. Klance (Keith Kogane and Lance Mclain) Voltron: Legendary Defender

2. Viktuuri (Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri) Yuuri On Ice

3. Catra/Glimmer (idk their shipname) She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

4. Nygmobblepot (Ed Nygma and Oswald Cobblepot) Gotham

5. Ineffable Husbands (Crowley and Aziraphale) Good Omens

6. Entrapdak (Hordak and Entrapta) She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

7. Troy and Abed (In the Morning) Community

8. Glinda and Elphaba, Wicked

9. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel) Supernatural

10. Quirrelmort (Prof. Quirrel and Voldemort) A Very Potter Musical

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Ah yikes. I think it was the scene where Entrapta broke into Hordak’s lab without asking and didn’t really react when he got upset? Somewhere around there.

2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Some

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?

Yes

4. If 7 were to suddenly break-up today, what would your reaction be?

*Community Spoilers* Probably the same as it was when they broke up in the show :/ 5. Why is 1 so important?

It brought me and one of my closest friends together (even though they swear they aren’t a shipper)

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Well, it was serious to me

7. Out of all of the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Quirrelmort. Tell me I’m wrong.

8. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Nygmob, for sure. They’ve been through so much but still ended up together*. 

9. How many times have you read/watched 8’s fandom?

Soooooooo many times. It was the first musical soundtrack I remember listening to and I used to have it blasting all hours of the day. 

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Probably Klance. I still love looking at fanart and comics of them.

11. How many times, if ever, has 2 broken up?

There was almost that one time, but then they got engaged so...

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

8 100%. Viktor and Yuuri have no marketable skills outside of skating, Glinda and Elphie have magic.

13. Did 5 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

YES! They’re an angel and a demon. They had to keep it on the DL for a whiiiile.

14. Is 4 still together?

In my mind, always. I mean how else are they gonna defeat the Batman?

15. Is 3 canon?

No 😔

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

After a very scientific bracket, I’ve decided Quirrelmort. Just think about it. 

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 10’s ship?

Bellatrix Lestrange, but Voldy enabled her. Also the institution of Azkaban. 

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Catra/Glimmer, honestly. I feel like they would have been great together. 

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 1’s tumblr page?

Not as much as I used to but honestly I should. I love me some Klance art. 

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she´d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Destiel. I mean they basically already got a divorce in canon, soooo

Tagging: @beat-got-sica​, @twyly57​, @larazea​, @bulletsandlilia​, @yanderebeat​

[thetiredstuff]

Watching the panel through live blogs, let me see if I've got the gist of it.. so Misha loved his characters goodbye scene, but also knew that he was supposed to come back in some capacity but can't directly tell us more, just that it wasn't a bury your gays situation.

He loved the emotional climax of Dean's death and how Jared and Jensen acted it out.

He said he didn't know how the episode ended but now is worried the fans will disappear?

But he can't talk about it.

So help me out here, did he ever actually comment directly on the ending? Did he give his opinion on it? Or just comment around it.

(feel free not to post this, I'm just sad and frustrated all over again) 😔

Hi! Okay so I’m gonna be honest: I’ve spent the last 5 days (since the finale) on every social media platform (basically reading through the tears of sadness lol) and I’ve seen the panels and everything and I remember almost nothing of anything hahaha so I’ll try answering this to the best of my abilities. 

Misha loves the fact that he was able to get Cas saying “I love you” in a romantic way. For him, finally being able to actually confirm a gay Cas means a lot to him because he knows how much it means to fans. 

It’s speculation if Misha was supposed to be back as Cas in the finale but story-wise it’s pretty clear he was supposed to be in it. However, he can’t confirm that because he signed NDAs (just like every actor does) that will still be valid for an unspecified time period. 

My speculation: I doubt it was supposed to be a bury your gays' trope because Misha said that they went to Jensen about Cas’ confession and if Jensen didn’t like it, they wouldn't have gone through with it. To me, the only reason why they’d have to ask Jensen about going through with it would be if his character would say something back. I just doubt that they intended to go bury your gays because it is extremely well-known as awful and lazy writing and I doubt bobo would go for it if they couldn’t subvert it and bring Cas back in a way. But alas fucking CW. 

He cried watching Dean die because he saw Cas’ friend die. He praised Jared and Jensen’s acting but nothing about the storyline of that episode, outside of that scene, was mentioned. 

Misha said he hadn’t read the script of the finale and ep 19 (which I’m not too sure about because we know he was in Vancouver probably for the finale so he had to have read at least part of the script for his scenes)

A lot of meta writers/fans have speculated (and I agree) that the actors probably didn’t know that certain scenes would be cut. I mean we know Misha was in Vancouver during covid filming even though the CW tried to scrub all the evidence. Misha has always been afraid of fans disappearing, he’s been pretty vocal about that since the ending of the show was announced. But now he’s seen how hurt fans are. And they have all seen it. It’s too big of a portion not to see it. 

And (I’m speculating) I’m pretty sure they’re devastated as well. The devastation and sadness that’s been going around are so hurtful and bone-deep that it is the kind of hurt that would make fans disappear from the fandom. Misha knows that and so he was always afraid of the fans disappearing. This shitty finale that made absolutely no sense and that left so many people heartbreaking and angry probably makes/made him even more worried about fans disappearing. 

But yeah he can’t talk about the OG ending, he can’t talk about having filmed in Vancouver, he can’t talk about Destiel because they went ahead and basically shot that dead (again fuck the CW), he’s even being vague about who came up with the idea for the bloody handprint, he can’t mention the fundraiser The Castiel Project for the Trevor Project that’s been started by fans to donate money to and that almost raised 50.000 dollars. 

He can’t talk about any of it because all of that would imply that the ending was shit or was cut severely, or they stomped out the queerness etc. As long as he has an NDA he won’t say anything cuz he can’t and even afterwards.

(again this is me speculating) Misha has always been treated poorly by some factions of SPN/the network. For a guy who saved their rating in season 7 and who managed to get the show to 15 seasons (together with J2), he’s always been shunned aside by some. He is a pretty selfless and grateful guy so I doubt he’d go right out and say something. Maybe but I think he’s also aware of how much it would hurt the fans to know what they did to his character and destiel (we kinda know through speculation but we don’t KNOW)

Jensen is probably the one who’d open his mouth more, surprisingly. He’s extremely diplomatic in how he carries himself in this industry which is gonna get him far but his lack of posts since the finale speaks volumes. It’s a silent protest. He’s also got the NDAs. 

but (I’m speculating again) Dean is something Jensen takes extremely serious. I’m pretty sure he saw bi!dean (with ep 18) and understood that it made sense for dean as a character (which is why i think Misha said that comment about Jensen not liking it would mean it wouldn’t happen). 

Jensen already had trouble with the ending all the way in the beginning (probably dean dying). He then likely supported Destiel or at least the implication of it (ep 18). Only to then find out that all queerness was erased (which I’m guessing he saw that queernes as serving the story), Misha who played Cas a fan favorite was also erased, and Dean died (he cares a tremendous amount about dean and doing right by him). And all of that has been getting some severe reactions of people being extremely hurt. 

(Again I’m speculating) but J2 have been praised by Pedowitz for ages, and I think that all of that really soured Jensen’s view of people involved with the network that previously had his back. Jensen has been the most vocal already with his dissatisfaction with the finale/the way things were handled. Just look at his social media likes and the absence of both Jensen and Misha in the Thank You videos. 

He’s being vocal by being silent. 

Both Jensen and Misha and their characters fell victim to the CW trying their damnest to stomp out the queer. And wow did they do a brilliantly awful job at it. 

Jared you’re not gonna get anything for years because he has Walker which is on the CW so he has to keep those people happy. 

I just wrote a mini-essay again lol hahaha 

I’m sorry you’re sad and frustrated. I feel it too. Today was the first day I didn’t wake up and start crying immediately, so it does get better it’s just gonna sting for a really long time. Just know you’re not alone in your feelings. 

This ending sucked and it sucked because it didn’t make any sense. It came completely out of the left field and it was a complete injustice to the characters, the actors, and the fans. We all deserved better. 

Also: I’m not in the know so this is mostly me speculating. I hope I made that clear with all the brackets. 

[fanfictiongreenirises]

my condolences to YOU honestly, and hugs back! this was a slap to the fans and i don't think he confession gifsets will make up for it. i myself am just a bystander going 'i dont know what i expected' at this GoT worthy ending

<3<3<3 

honestly yea like. on one hand yes canon destiel from cas, and from jensen we know that dean thought that cas could never feel romantic love because he’s an angel, and i’m just clinging onto that and trying my best to not think about everything that came after cas’ confession 

on the other hand wow they really did serve us queerbaiting for this season in particular 🙃 and from an overall show perspective??? FOR A CONCLUSION TO A SHOW RUNNING FOR 15 YEARS AND BUILT AROUND HOPE?? i have no idea what the fuck they just handed to us (WHO WANTED THIS???) and the ‘idk what i expected’ response is pretty much it 😔

us rn:

in conclusion fanfic writers and collective amnesia are our answers now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯