#i’m happy i had my fandoms this year otherwise it was pretty meh

[jokaarija]

end of the year rant

[mertronus]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @bavalon18 !!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

20!!!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Okay mind-blown for two reasons: 1, I just discovered the statistics bar on AO3 to answer this question and 2, HOLY COW!!! 297,034 word count!!! I had no idea...

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Technically 3, but really it's all Harry Potter with 2 "crossovers" which are really RomioneComs: 50 First Dates (complete) and Juno (WIP)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mine

Magical Canon divergent AU - My current super long WIP, is a canon divergent that begins in 3rd year and tackles the question, what happens when Ron and Hermione come together much earlier?

Just One Drink

Muggle AU - Ron and Hermione have a chance meeting at a hotel, and the promise of just one drink together leads to so much more.

The Pureblood Knight

Magical 6th year (canon divergent?) AU - Ron saves Hermione from a law that threatens to ruin her life. The 1st fic I wrote that was inspired by TMBlue's "With Me". You know you love a good marriage law fic.

Just Think What If...

6th year AU Collection - a collection of one-shots that basically come down to "how many ways can I get Ron and Hermione together in 6th year?" and a bit of "how many ways can I stick it to 6th year Lavender?"

Secret Mission

Magical AU - Ron returns from an extended 18 month secret mission, with a secret of his own. My first posted fic!

And yes, they are all Romione

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

On AO3 yes yes yes!! FFN is a bit funky to me, but I do see all of your comments over there!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I'm only just really climbing aboard the angst train, though I guess The Pureblood Knight is a bit angsty...But, while not finished, I'd have to say that Brown Eyes & Spice, one of my new WIPs is definitely my angstiest yet.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think I'll have to go with Just One Drink. That's just a whole load of fluff and smuff and sweet sweet feel good happiness.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Are we counting ROMioneCOMs (Romione RomComs) as crossovers? Cause those are the only crossovers I've dabbled in lol. And none super crazy, but 50 First Dates was definitely fun, and I'm enjoying one of my current WIPs Cleats (Juno). I also have a few more planned...I guess the craziest will be....shhhh I'll wait on that.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Meh, just a bit of Hermione hate and there was a smidge of Ron hate. No hate on my actual writing. But I'm not at all opposed to the delete button. Rainbows and sunshine people!!!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

YES!!! And what kind? uh...smuff (smutt & fluff) mostly I guess? No kinks or anything along those lines. Not yet anyway.... I may have a kink for Ron's growl though....

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

People steal fics??? Nope. Can't say that I have.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that would be pretty cool if anyone wants to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet but open to it!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Romione of course!!! My cinnamon puffs! (Romionarry, my cinnamon rolls, has surprisingly become a close second.)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I definitely have plans to finish all my current (3) WIPS, even and especially Mine (though I have no idea when and how that will end!) But I have so many ideas I've half-started that I have no idea if I'll ever get to, including one centered around Neville and one of my very first Romione ideas that I already wrote 2 chapters for!

What are your writing strengths?

Visualizing scenes and writing dialogue in the character's voice I'd say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing out the amazing scene that I visualized while I was driving or showering or otherwise unable to write at the moment! By the time I get to write it down, I done forgot it all *cry face*

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I would if I could!!!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter - team Romione

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

The Pureblood Knight. But then I sat on it, scared, and wrote Secret Mission, which I posted first. Then I posted TPK.

Tagging @cheesyficwriter @accio-broom

[iamnotawomanimagod]

The 100 for the indepth ask thing!

Thank you, my friend!! Always happy to hear from you 🥰

Top 5 favourite characters:

1. Octavia

2. Murphy

3. Emori

4. Echo

5. Jasper

Other characters you like:

I will always have a lot of love in my heart for Monty, Raven, Lincoln, and Lexa. 

Least favourite characters:

Clarke, Bellamy, Kane, and Abby.  

OTPs: 

Linctavia and Memori 

NoTPs: 

Bellarke, Kabby, a handful of others that are more “meh” than outright “no.” 

Favourite friendships:

Jasper and Monty; Raven and Emori; Monty and Bellamy; Octavia, Jasper, and Monty; Indra and Octavia; Clarke and Roan; Raven and Echo. 

Favourite family: 

Spacekru! Forever! Although the Diyoza-Blakes give them a run for their money.

Favourite episodes: 

I’m a sucker for good standalones, even when the rest of the season sucks, or the episodes don’t make much thematic sense in context of the season/show. Fair warning. That being said: 

1x05, 1x08, 2x08, 2x12, 3x04, 4x07, 4x08, 4x10, 4x13*, 5x02, 5x11, and uhhh that’s when the show ended right**??

*For someone who hates s4, I sure do like a lot of individual episodes from it.

**There were storylines and moments I liked in s6 and s7, but no one episode stands out for me in either season.

Favourite season/book/movie:

Probably s2 or s5.

Favourite quotes:

Pretty much all the Trigedasleng lol.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.”

“Gomon gon oson.”

“Jus drein, jus daun.”

What a fun and silly conlang. 

Best musical moment:

I really love this moment, where Raven takes The Chip, and “Thousand Eyes” by Of Mouse and Men plays. Lindsey does such an incredible job portraying Raven’s sorrow, pain, and desperation. It’s so chilling when the music picks up and gets louder, and Raven slowly realizes that her pain is gone, and she looks up and sees ALIE for the first time. We as an audience realize how dangerous Raven will be, on ALIE’s side, but all Raven feels is wonder and relief. I think the song really captures that feeling so well, and the lyrics reflect Raven’s motivation: “I lie awake, and watch it all/it feels like a thousand eyes.” She’s under so much pressure, mostly internal, but also external, to help her friends and make sure people she cares about survives. I love this song and I’ll always associate it with this moment.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest:

 “You are wonkru, or you are the enemy of wonkru. Choose.”

Roan versus Lexa

Royal Memori Saving Everyone

When it really disappointed you:

Season 6. With the exceptions of Memori and my affection for Josephine, the season was a total flop for me. Season 7 just continued the downward spiral at an even faster rate. A few bright spots, but overall, just garbage. 

Saddest moment:

Woof. There’s several.

1. Lexa’s death, obvi

2. Jasper’s death

3. Lincoln’s death

4. Monty and Harper’s farewell videos

5. Emori’s death (only so low on the list because she came back) 

Most well done character death:

I got a lot of satisfaction out of Cage Wallace’s death. Lincoln deserved that vengeance.

In terms of emotional impact, I do think Jasper and Lexa’s death scenes were very well-done.

I know it’s messed up and I’m probably wrong, but god if I don’t love seeing Pike get run through with that sword.

Favourite guest star:

Alycia Debnam Carey put this show on the fucking map, and no one can truly argue otherwise. Without her, I doubt this show would’ve gone on for as long as it did. The show was carried by appearances and mentions of her right up until the very end. She even got the last word. Tell me of a more iconic guest star?? 

Favourite cast member:

I definitely really like Richard Harmon and Luisa d’Oliveria. I think they have the greatest chances of having truly successful careers out of everyone. 

Character you wish was still alive:

Jasper. :( 

One thing you hope really happens:

Well, it’s over. So nothing is going to happen again. I like the idea of some other pocket of humanity that decided not to transcend stumbling upon the Beachkru several years post-canon. And the aliens conveniently forget to actually make that sterile thing real. Humanity lives in, cultures continue to develop and grow, and there are lots of new generations to come! AKA the thing I wanted all along and really hoped they’d do, but they just kept destroying every society they met!!

Most shocking twist:

Finn’s death was really, truly so shocking to me. For one, Lexa’s death so greatly overshadowed it in fandom (at the time) that I managed to see it completely unspoiled. I also wasn’t into the BTS stuff at the time, so I didn’t know about any drama. It took me fully by surprise - I never expected the show to really kill another lead like that. 

When did you start watching/reading?:

It took me several tries to start this show. Getting through those first four episodes was a tough ask for me. By the time I finished what was available, s3 was over. So I technically joined fandom during the hiatus between s3 and s4.  

Best animal/creature:

God the animals in this show were silly. I liked those weird panther things.

Favourite location:

The dropship, Memori’s palace, Becca’s lab. 

Trope you wish they would stop using:

Listen. I loved the callbacks at first. I fucking ate them up. But at some point, this show became so self-referential that new plotlines ceased to exist. It became almost comical. How many times did these characters need to learn these lessons??

One thing this show/book/film does better than others:

The early camaraderie of The Hundred, and the way they worked sort of against the Establishment/Adults, was a lot of fun. Other shows have done it, but I think The 100 does it very well.

Funniest moments:

Unintentionally or intentionally, lmao?? Idk, there were a lot of quippy moments. Most of what Murphy said was hilarious.

Couple you would like to see:

I always wanted them to give Niytavia a shot, but they were cowards. 

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast:

I’m not super attached to any actors or actresses that would fit on this show. 

Favourite outfit:

Blodreina’s red cape, Emori’s royal Naming Day ‘fit, Murphy’s sleek black formal looks, Clarke’s soda can tab jacket, Raven’s red bomber jacket.

Favourite item:

When Clarke picks up a piece of Lexa’s throne and uses it as a walking stick when she’s alone post Praimfaya 2.0

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?:

Nah.

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?:

I mean, I feel like Spacekru is the most obvious choice.

Most boring plotline:

When they spent several episodes rescuing Clarke from Josephine. Most of s4. The back half of s3. Most of s7.

Most laughably bad moment:

When Bellamy brought Clarke back to life by repeatedly punching her in the chest, and inside of her mind, Clarke threw an axe at Josephine’s face and Josie exploded into a bunch of shards of light.

When Clarke shot Bellamy over Madi’s sketchbook and left the sketchbook behind.

When Clarke and Bellamy took turns tying each other up and putting the people most important to one another in horrible situations and it was treated like a cute little bump in their timeless friendship. 

Best flashback/flashfoward if any:

I really love the Spacewalker reveal.

Most layered character:

Murphy came so far, and had so much development. I think Richard did a great job giving him a lot of depth and dimension. 

Most one dimensional character:

Clarke’s entire personality and arc didn’t change at all after the s2 finale. She was a loose cannon hell-bent on saving the people she loved, no matter what the cost. The most interesting things that happened to her were almost dying and actually dying, and the main reason for that is because it gave other characters and storylines more time to shine.

Scariest moment:

That fucking creepy cage creature on Nakara that attacked Raven’s face. Seeing it through the helmet was so terrifying. Another one is that scene in s2 when Lincoln is a reaper, and Octavia and Bellamy are trying to lure him into a trap in an old parking garage.

Grossest moment:

This show was remarkably gory for its network and time slot. I can think of several. I’d rather not dwell on them. 

Best looking male:

Lincoln is a babe.

Best looking female:

Gotta hand this one to Lexa

Who you’re crushing on (if any):

I mean, most of them. Half of why I watched was pure thirst. Emori, Murphy, Lexa, and Octavia all come to mind. Diyoza, too.

Favourite cast moment:

Idk I’m always partial to blooper reels.

Favourite transportation:

HELIOS. The most beautiful badass horse in the world. 

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise):

I mean, most of the overhead shots are really pretty, but it’s also the same five locations in Vancouver, and that really starts to show at some point.

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:

I genuinely think we don’t have time for this. I have way too many to count. 

Best promo:

Nothing really comes to mind.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book:

I was convinced to stick it out and see it through by 1x05. I truly thought it was something special by 2x08. I’ve gone up and down about it ever since.

Thanks again, Meghan!

Send Me a Fandom and I’ll Answer Some In-Depth Questions!

[fanfic-inator795]

So... Now that We Bare Bears is officially over, here’s a hot take for you:

Season One was the best season and the show just kinda plateaued/got blander after that point.

Season One had some of my favorite (and what I’d argue to be the best) episodes of the series. Episodes that even years later I still remember like Burrito, Jean Jacket, Food Truck, Occupy Bears, Charlie and the Snake, and the first two Baby Bears episodes (which were not only still a fresh concept at that point, but were also two of the best Baby Bear episodes).

This season had pretty decent jokes, but it also had some of the best emotional moments as well as the best character and character relationship moments between the three brothers. When I think of We Bare Bears, my mind always jumps to moments from s1. It was charming and grounded while still being entertaining and sweet, and there’s a clear season why it didn’t take me very long to get into this show.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of eps after s1 that I like. Episodes like Chicken and Waffles, Panda’s Art and Bubble are peak Panlie content, Baby Bear episodes like The Island are still enjoyable, we still get those emotional hits like with Captain Craboo (the only ep, imo, to rival Burrito in terms of emotional gut punches), Hurricane Hal and Googs. Also, eps like Grizz Helps, Go Fish, The Perfect Tree and ESPECIALLY I Am Ice Bear are just plain enjoyable. 

But seasons 2, 3 and 4 also had more overall issues than s1 that kinda brought them down. Season 2 relied a lot more on vignette episodes that had each bear doing their own thing, as well as more episodes where they fought. Now, episodes like this do serve a purpose in developing each of their characters as individuals, but the main reason why I watched the show was because of the GROUP dynamic, so I’d always be a little disappointed when they’d separate for an episode, even if it made for an interesting set up or good jokes.

As for s3 and 4, as others have mentioned before, they rely wayyyyyyyyyy too much on the Baby Bears episodes. Other than seeing their origins, most of the BB eps followed the same formula, and there’s only so much cute you can do before it just gets dull :/

The humor and a lot of the stories also started to feel pretty flat by seasons 3 and 4. I remember during a week of premieres watching all the episodes, and only Go Fish and Googs got big reactions out of me. Granted, WBB was never a super hilarious show like Wander Over Yonder, nor was it the type of show to have big emotional moments every episode. But after such a strong first season, a lot of the time - especially during the last two seasons - I was just sitting there waiting for the next Burrito or the next Jean Jacket.

Granted, this all may be a personal bias from me since I haven’t rewatched any episodes in a while and I’ve even missed some episodes of s3 and 4. But that’s the thing: I didn’t feel bothered to watch them unless I heard from the fandom that they had some truly amazing moment (or Panlie fuel) in them because I had sat through so many meh episodes previously and I didn’t want to waste anymore time.

So yeah, while I agree that the WBB movie was a pretty disappointing ending to the series overall, given that the Icy Nights arc and the Grizznom and Panlie arcs are now without endings, I’m not sad that the show has ended since the writing was pretty much on the wall. Yeah, with a 5th season we could’ve gotten a couple more amazing episodes... but we also probably would’ve gotten half a dozen middle of the road vignette episodes and another half dozen Baby Bears episodes (which, why are they making those their own spinoff? Whyyyyyyyyyy)

In that sense, I guess it’s better to end with an alright grand adventure with a happy ending then on an otherwise meh episode like the Monsta X one. Still, looking back on the show as a whole, I wish it could have grown more. Now to be clear, I DON’T wish that it suddenly became a grand epic like SU or Adventure Time, because I love the show for it’s slice of life feel. 

I just wish we could have gotten more of the eps like I named above - eps that either did something really interesting with the characters, had some really powerful moments, or were just really funny or really enjoyable and fun. But instead, it felt like 80% of the time we were getting super safe and familiar plots with jokes that made you sorta smile more than they made you laugh and character development that moved at a snail’s pace. Any one of these flaws on it’s own would have been fine and easy enough to deal with, but all three at once? It just made for a pretty boring show after a while...

So yeah, while I’m still sorta sad to see the Bears go, I firmly believe the show peaked early and has been on cruise control for quite a while now - and in terms of being a fun, chill slice of life while still growing their characters and stories, Craig of the Creek has overshadowed WBBs for quiiiiiite a while now, so go watch that show if you need your chill and charming slice of life fix.

[paintedrecs]

For the fandom talk meme thingy: C (not trying to start drama I swear), I, K, R, and X. =D

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Hmmm, there are a few ways of answering this. One is by listing all my NOTPs, which would be excessively long and ultimately boring because it essentially boils down to “anyone else with either member of my OTP.” I monoship my primary pairings, so I’m pretty strict on what I do and do not like. 

(With the way fandom is now, I should clarify that NOTP means that I personally do not like a ship and I therefore go out of my way to avoid it - by muting terms, carefully filtering tags and search results, curating my own space, etc. It doesn’t mean I think the ship is badwrong or that anyone else should stop shipping it. It just means I do not ever want to see it.)

This feels a little less specific on that front, though, maybe more just: people like this and I’m meh about it?

So Allydia comes to mind. I don’t hate it, and if the Sterek’s good enough I’ll still read a fic with them as a background pairing, but I don’t ever like it as a romantic ship. While I ship Lydia with lots of different characters, including Cora, I’ve always seen Allison as straight, so I suppose that’s part of it? And I love Lydia & Allison as bffs - I see them as entirely platonic, like Scott & Stiles, so introducing romance just doesn’t work for me.

Another one is Sheriff Stilinski/Peter Hale. I...I don’t understand it. Unlike the last answer, this background pairing will prevent me from reading a Sterek-central fic.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

This turned into a complicated and kind of roundabout answer, so I’m putting the rest of the questions under a long-post cut!

I stopped frequenting tumblr for two main reasons:

that whole weird purge thing that made me think everyone was leaving, so I just gave up, which might’ve been premature cause it seems like folks are still going strong on here

the emergence of antis, specifically within the Voltron fandom (although they’re everywhere at this point)

There’s a saying in fandom now: 

“Why is the younger fandom generation like this?!??” “Tumblr raised them.”

For me, for years, tumblr was a really wonderful space where I had a lot of great conversations and read very thoughtful threads that helped me to learn some important things about myself, other people, and a world much wider than my own.

But I was an adult when I joined this site, and it really does seem like there’s a whole new crop of kids who have no actual context for ideas like social justice, the need for canonical representation in our media, and a lot of other things that eventually got folded into a big ball of disconnected rhetoric that they now fling as hard as they can at the heads of fandom creators who are committing the ultimate sin of creating content for ships they don’t like.

It’s late, and I don’t feel like getting into a whole Essay Rant about all that.

So on an entirely personal level, I quit running appreciatejack (my Check Please/zimbits/Jack Zimmermann blog) because someone sent me really vile hate for daring to ship Shiro/Keith from Voltron (two unrelated adults in a cartoon). It’s why I turned my ask boxes/anon/chats off on most of my blogs, and then eventually just...got tired of running them.

When I started up appreciatederek, I got a couple asks from people who wanted to know if it was going to be multiship or just Sterek, and when I said it was Sterek, they presumably went off to find other things they were into, because I never heard from them again. Y’know, the reasonable reaction. And then the rest of it was wonderful: finding content for it, and getting responses from people who enjoyed that content.

I thought appreciateshiro would be similar, but it was all so messy from the very start. The Sheith tag was FULL of hate. I was initially checking it every day, trying to find artists and writers and gif-makers to reblog and encourage and support, like I’d done in Sterek fandom, but instead I’d spend literal hours blocking people who came into that tag just to talk about how much they hated the ship.

Every day, I’d look for content for my OTP, and every day I’d come away from it angry and sad and frustrated. I never seemed to run out of people to block. And they never, ever seemed to run out of hate.

It was exhausting. It made me reluctant to go on tumblr at all. And eventually I just...sorta stopped.

So the answer to this question is more, I guess, “fandom made me stop liking tumblr, and in the process I stopped liking most fandoms.”

I’m sure you can kinda tell from the fandoms I’m currently the most invested in.

I love Sterek, and I will always love Sterek. Part of that’s the ship itself, of course, and part is because I had an incredible fandom experience with it. People within this fandom are still really great - always so welcoming and super excited about new content, even so many years on.

Otherwise, my current fandoms are kiiiiinda tiny:

Xanatowen (Gargoyles), which currently consists of exactly 2 people and 12 fics (3 of which are mine).

Trevorcard (Castlevania), which only has ~200 fics on AO3.

Taibani (Tiger & Bunny), which is an oldish fandom with only ~600 fics on AO3.

Remember, I came from a fandom that has SIXTY THOUSAND fics.

So while I feel very lonely and very sad about the low content levels in these fandoms, they’ve also given me the space to let go of some of my fandom hurt & anger and remember what it’s like to just...peacefully love something. I really miss just loving things and talking about loving those things and searching for other people who also love those things without running into....thousands upon thousands of people who HATE that you love that thing.

(Until I wrote all that out just now, I actually hadn’t realized how much this had still been hanging over me, or why I was so hesitant to come back to “reclaim” a space I’d once been super active and happy in. Essay over! Next questions.)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Answered here!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Answered here! 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Found family. This is probably a big part of why Sterek was my first real fandom, because the idea of Pack makes it incredibly natural to build out relationships beyond just the central romantic pairing. 

It doesn’t have to be a werewolf thing, though. I’m honestly not hugely fond of the whole puppy piles concept - I’m less interested in “biological urges make characters literally physically all snuggle up together in bed” than I am in the actual build of the friendships, and the concept of choosing people who will become the family you’ve been missing for whatever reason.

Maybe it’s reconnecting with biological family, or maybe it’s discovering that your friends have been filling that space for you all along, without you even fully realizing it. (The concept of “home” is another big one for me. Home is where your heart is etc etc.)

And hey! Now I can pull back in another question from earlier: about “pairings” that I might not have initially considered. As I suspected, I do have more! Mostly platonic.

For instance: Derek and Sheriff Stilinski becoming bffs. I thiiiink I can probably tie my ABSOLUTE LOVE of this concept back to HalfFizzbin’s can't be hateful, gotta be grateful. And then Cupboard Love really has to be the source of ALL my alive!Hales feels, which also includes folding Stiles into their family.

Fic is largely responsible for building out Derek’s relationship with Boyd, Erica, Isaac, his sisters...making them into an actual pack and friends and family in the way the show never bothered. And frankly while I don’t like canon!Scott at all at this point, I love his friendship with Stiles in fics, and I absolutely believe Stiles and Lydia would be amazing friends once he got past his crush on her. I’d point to another fic here, owlpostagain’s will to follow through, as the ultimate source for major Team Human feels.

So yeah. I’m always going to be drawn to stories about family, in whatever form that takes, particularly if it’s one that’s a little bit off the normal white-picket-fence path.

In Tiger & Bunny, it’s Barnaby joining the Kaburagi family, and learning how to be a dad and a friend to his new husband’s daughter.

In Gargoyles, I’m completely obsessed with the (canonical!) idea of a family that consists of a man, his wife, their son, and the chaotically loyal fae babysitter/tutor/third parent. It is not a stretch to tweak this the tiiiiiiniest bit to turn it into a nontraditional family structure of a man, his wife, his son, and his fae boyfriend. Honestly.

In Castlevania, the fic that made me sob my eyes out at one point does something the show would absolutely never. It gives Alucard the time to rebuild his physical home while befriending the people in the little town that crops up around it. It’s about Trevor and Alucard falling in love, but it’s also about them making a place for themselves in a world where that kind of comfort and stability and friendship is so badly needed.

I think we all kinda need that in our world right now. So I love being able to find it in fic, for the characters who’ve grown to mean something to me.

[mittensmorgul]

I would like to get my fics seen more, increase visibility; should I have a blog just for my fics? I don't really have one that i maintain regularly, nor do I really have the desire, and if i made one for fics, it would just be to get higher traffic from the tumblr crowd over to Ao3. So i'm wondering if it's worth the trouble. I don't write just to get views/kudos/comments, but i have to admit it is a little disheartening to put a ton of effort into something and get little response.

Oh gosh, hi. :D

I long ago abandoned my writing sideblog, @mittenwraith, which I only made because I was dumb enough to choose a different pseud when I signed up for AO3, and I figured people would be confused if they found me talking on the tumbls about my fic but with a different name... I realized I’m of the “we blog all our nonsense in one place” types of people. Either that or I’m just too disorganized to maintain two blogs, and most people who are here for fic are already following my main blog anyway. It seemed like a lot of work for little result.

I have no idea how, but I seem to get a lot more traffic on my fic on AO3 than I do on tumblr. I might get 100 notes on a fic on tumblr, but thousands of hits and hundreds of kudos on AO3, so I have no idea how that works. I’ve also been here writing and posting fic for nearly five years now, and had time to build up a decent subscriber list, so a lot of those people generating hits and kudos likely clicked through from the AO3 email, too, and never went through my tumblr at all.

I wish I knew of some sure-fire way to increase traffic on my fic. I don’t typically write tumblr one-shots, and I always post multi-chapter fic all at once rather than dragging it out WIP style (which generates an artificially inflated hit count anyway, and I’m not here for artificially inflated anything... if my works are gonna have hits, I want them organically... :’D)

And yeah, I absolutely do write because I want to read my stories myself, whether or not anyone else cares to read them. I love it, but it just hit kinda harsh doing that top ten tumblr posts thing and even with my (relatively, compared to like... gif makers and artists, and even the popular one-shot writers) paltry original post notes totals, none of my fic even came close to being among them. I get most people probably follow me for SPN meta, because following me for my original fic would be an exercise in tolerance considering I only post new fic on average about once a month. Hopefully the people who DO read and appreciate my fic are happy with what I post, though. In the end, that’s what matters most to me. Are we all having a good time? Yes? Then I feel really awkward complaining that I average something like 300 kudos on a fic. Because to 300 people, that fic was important to them in some way.

As for tumblr notes... I’ve been at this (writing fic) for almost five years now, and I haven’t discovered the magical secret to getting notes, so I think it’s probably about 90% luck, honestly. To everyone who has liked and reblogged my fic posts, I LOVE Y’ALL THE BESTEST. :’D

I used to think I would be happy to “artificially inflate” my notes total by posting chapter by chapter, but I realized I just... don’t care about notes bad enough to bother doing that. I figured if it was something I was truly fussed about, it would be worth it to me, but meh...

I’ve also noticed a large migration of fic writers to twitter, and considered publicizing the fact that I do have a fandom twitter account that I pretty much never, ever use... and just tweeting my fic there. My regular twitter is not for fandom stuff. I’ll occasionally reply to fandom twitter with it, but most of the people who follow me there aren’t in the fandom, so I avoid crossposting from tumblr, or posting my fic there. That’s probably another avenue to getting your work seen, though.

There’s also using the tags-- destiel tags, of course, and some of the fandom community tags if you’re part of something like the @profoundnet or the @writersofdestiel. Reblogging other writers’ works also leads to those writers reblogging your works. Participating in challenges that reblog your works to a wider audience can help, too, on top of having your works as part of those collections on AO3. It’s like having your fic shelved in the bestseller section, you know? The hope is that people who otherwise would never have found your stories will see them through those collections. And on tumblr, there’s also reblogging your own fic, several times over the first few days after posting, but also randomly throughout the year. For example, I reblog all my holiday fic around the holidays every year, and even four year old fic will see a nice little resurgence of interest. Outside of that, I think it’s just a matter of luck regarding which fic will take off.

I mean, with the series ending in just a few months, I expect there to still be a happy little community of fandom creators that will hang around, but we’ve already lost a ton of creative types to the tumblr nippocalypse, to regular fandom turnover, etc. Like original Star Trek, there will probably always be SPN fandom online, even if we’re not as active as we’ve been in the past. I figure if I’m going to continue creating for this fandom, it’s something I’ll have to set expectations to, you know? Because I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me forever :’D

[alleiradayne]

My Favorite (SPN) Things

This is a collection of my favorite SPN moments/things/thoughts for @atc74​‘s giveaway.

Favorite SPN Con Moments

I have several Con memories that I will never forget.

MinnCon 2016 - @fuckyou-mavhenan​ and I got the con bug that year and decided to go to Minneapolis since it’s a half-hour drive from my house. That con changed my love for the show in a way I never thought possible. We had a photo op with Misha and Mark Sheppard, it was glorious.

It was also the year of “A Bowfinned Fish Named Salmon Dean”, with Jared and Jensen trying to imitate what a bowfinned fish might look like.

I took a ton of pictures at that con, but that was before I learned I could rent a better lens so they’re not the best pictures. It was also before I learned how to use Lightroom. And we were pretty far from the stage. But it was an amazing first con.

MinnCon 2017 - @fuckyou-mavhenan​ returned in August of 2017 and we planned the weekend down to the fifteen minute window with our Silver weekend passes. Except we never planned on any photo ops. In fact, we rolled up to the ticket table to check ops Friday morning and when we saw the very last J2 op, we bought it on the spot.

I learned just how sweaty Jared is that day. After the picture was taken, I said out loud, “Wow you really are sweaty,” because my arm was damp from having hugged him. He apologized for being “gross” and I said, “oh honey, it is so not gross” and he thought that was hilarious, then proceeded to smother me in a hug. I died. It was also glorious.

Pictures from that con were meh. Again, forgot to rent a better lens and still wasn’t using Lightroom, although our seats were nominally better.

MinnCon 2018 - Insanity. Like, just dumb. First, they moved the con to November, which was fucking stupid because @fuckyou-mavhenan​ couldn’t come up. Then I find out it’s the last time they’re going to be in Minneapolis so I freaked out and bought tickets near the end of February. Gold weekend and a Jared photo op.

Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. And when I did the math, I realized I’d be just shy of 37 weeks pregnant. A couple months before the con I decided to book a hotel room in downtown Minneapolis instead of driving back and forth all weekend (because pregnant). And about two weeks prior to the con, VIP and M&G auctions went up so I bid on both and won both (VIP and a Jared M&G).

And then the weekend came. I was huge. I was uncomfortable, exhausted, and rocking some serious sinus bullshit (because pregnant). But all that ceased to matter for a number of reasons. First, VIP was a-fucking-mazing. Second, I met @atc74​. For realsies. In person. And we kicked it together during the SNS. And Rob kissed us. :3

Then there was CUPCAKEPOCALYPSE

I will never forget that. Mainly because I’m still mad my pregnant ass did not get to eat one of those cupcakes.

I guess he made up for it here:

I cannot put into words how wonderful of an experience his photo op was. Every time I saw Jared on Sunday, from the start of his M&G, to the photo op, to his VIP M&G, and at last during his autograph, he either congratulated me on the baby or touched my belly and asked me about her. At least twice he told me I looked stunning and it reminded him of when Gen was pregnant with Tom. I don’t know how I kept my shit together.

And the pictures I took! I rented a damn nice lens and learned how to use Lightroom! I was so happy with how they turned out.

VegasCon 2019 - I went to Vegas for a bachelorette party. I had no intention of going to the con. It just... happened. The bachelorette group kind of wanted to do their own things on Sunday afternoon because we all paid a lot of money to go out there and the bride-to-be was super cool about it. So when I had nothing to do, I caught a cab to the Rio and figured I’d just browse the vendor room. My VIP liaison from Minneapolis was also there and so I met up with her to chat a bit, which was rad.

And then I ended up with a wristband. I won’t say how, but I did. It took me about half an hour to realize that, with a wristband, I’d be able to go buy a photo op or autograph. I was immediately pissed because Jared’s op had just wrapped and I so very much wanted to talk to him again, but all of his ops (solo or otherwise) were sold out. So at least I didn’t miss out on that.

But I did end up with a Rob & Rich op! I told them that the last time I’d seen them was in Minneapolis back in November in VIP and I was about to say “when I was pregnant”, but Rob said, “YES. YOU WERE PREGNANT. How’s the baby?!”

Ya’ll, I died. Rob is amazing.

I have more favorite con moments. But these are the ones that stuck out.

Favorite SPN Tumblr Moments

I have to admit, I’m a terrible member of the fanfic community on Tumblr. I hardly ever read fic. So, the only thing I’ll mention about fanfic is how grateful I am for the people that have taken the time to read, reblog, and comment on my work. I cannot thank you all enough (and ya’ll know who you are).

One of the slightly embarrassing things about the SPN fandom on Tumblr is how much you asshats have outed me and my thirst for Jared. I’ve been live blogging this season (and a bit of last season) and whenever I comment about how much I love Sam/Jared doing pretty much anything ya’ll gotta reblog THAT post. Thanks for that.

But the most amazing thing I cannot put into words is how awesome it was to meet people from this fandom now. @atc74, @sis-tafics, @saxxxology, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @from-trista-with-love, @samsexualdeancurious, and @emptywithout, it was wonderful meeting you all. (I hope I didn’t miss anyone!)

Favorite SPN Show Moments/Characters/Things

So it’s no secret that Sam is my favorite character from the show. But there really isn’t a character I didn’t enjoy. Even the villains are epic on this show. And most of them were so wonderfully grey that I could never hate them for long.

I don’t think I can pick a singular favorite moment from the show. There are too many awesome pop culture references, too many awesome guest spots, and so many excellent story lines/plots.

I’m a sucker for lore, so I love things like Sam wielding Mjolnir and werewolves and djinn. I dig tulpas (”it’s notta tulpa”) and enochian brass knuckles and angel blades and Ruby’s knife.

I’m also a huge fan of cinematography, so we when we get those beautiful shots of these beautiful actors’ faces just popping out of the darkness (very much like a Caravaggio panting) I drool a little.

But if there is only one thing that really fueled my love for this show, it’s the damn gag reels. I thought I liked Sam before, but seeing how absolutely dumb Jared is on set intentionally fucking up takes made me love him even more. And I have an absolute favorite gag reel moment. Two, specifically, both from this season:

“Trusting a fart after 40.”

I fucking died.

Also:

@aborddelimpala, thank you for that gifset. I cried laughing so hard at this shit.

So that’s it. That’s all of my weird contributions to this incredibly unique fandom. I love you all and I love everything this show has given us. I can’t imagine my life without it.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #213

"there's a voice in my head, says i'm better off dead, but if i sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song, i'll be all right."

Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? No. Ice cream? No. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? Well, two heat lamps for Kaiju and Venus. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Yikes, it's been a long time... Can you name 2 books of the Bible? Uhhh Luke and Revelations? Do people usually think your brother is handsome? I don't know, I haven't lived with him since I was a kid, and he doesn't live in my state. So we don't know the same people. Have you ever crawled thru a vent? Not to my memory. Are there toothpicks in your kitchen? They're in the bathroom. How many living grandparents do you have? One. Do you eat more than 3 meals a day? No; I don't even always have three. Do you know how old your house is? I believe it was made in the '70s. Do you think you have great potential for success? Meh. Have you applied any lipstick, chapstick, gloss, etc to your lips today? No. Would you rather have tan or pale skin color? Pale. Sometimes I hate it, but I like it more overall. Especially when you're a goth at heart know what I'm sayin'. Last time you entered a high school? Probably my sister's graduation. Last time you rode a bike? It's been years, dude. Probably not since high school. Do you drink your water from the tap? You couldn't pay me to. Our water is technically clean, we've had it tested, but dead serious, the hot water smells like rotten eggs. I'm pretty sure Mom said it's something about the salt content in the pipes. But nevertheless, mind over matter would nooot work. Is there any kind of design on your socks? I'm not wearing socks. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, I'm not a fan. Do you use dryer sheets? Yes. Do you like Subway? Yeah. What was your worst mistake in your life? Letting a guy become god, the entire universe, and more to me. Is this year the best year of your life? Oh, hunny- Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? I don't think so. Did you sleep well last night? I never do. I always wake up at least once. What’s the last song you heard? "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon is on repeat. What is your favorite line from a TV show? I don't have a clue. Any current family issues? No. Who is the last friend you spent time with outside of school? Summer and I talked for a while at my niece's b-day party a few days back. What do you think of your mother? Your father? Your siblings (if there are any)? I love them. There's one sister I don't know so can't really say anything on her, then I do have another sister who, if I can assume via Facebook interactions, can't be too fond of me. But I could be mistaken with my habit of said assuming... Who/What is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life? Who: Jason. What: my mental health. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? How isolated I am and void of purpose I feel. What is one band that you find yourself going back to again and again? You mean like, stop liking but then get back into? None, I think. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Idk. Can you see your purse right now? Yes. Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? No. Have you ever eaten cat food? I don't think so, though I wouldn't be surprised as a kid. How many pets do you have? Six. Do you actually like them? All but my sister's dog. I can't stand him. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? My girlfriend. Do you wear skirts a lot? I never do. I hate my legs. Do you basically live in jeans? I have zero jeans. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not really; if I'm not in pjs, I'm usually in dance or yoga pants. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Zero. Do you like hoodies? Yeah. Big ones or the form fitting kind? Bigger ones. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think I did. Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I go back and forth, lol. But no, I have regrets. Do you love your computer? It's got a few issues, but yeah. Do friends or family come first? Family of the heart, anyway. Us sharing blood doesn't mean shit to me, honestly. What’s your lucky number? I don't believe in "lucky" numbers. Who were the last 5 people you spoke to? I'll include via technology because otherwise I have no clue. Mom, Sara, Emma, and two women interested in adopting Kaiju. Do you have the same password for everything? No. Do you get shy around the person you like? Sometimes. What color is your phone? Dark navy. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pencils. Do you like peanut butter? Yes. If you could live forever, would you? Hell no. Do you talk in your sleep? A lot. What was the last thing you regretted? Probably depression binge-eating something. Are you any good at cutting hair? Never tried. Do you like your yearbook picture this year? N/A What was the last YouTube video to make you laugh? Ummm there was something last night, but idr what. Do you like tomatoes? No. Do you have a pool? I wish. How would you describe your style? Too poor and lazy to be a goth so dresses in whatever is at the top of my drawer tbh lmao. Do you still talk to any of your exes? One. Have you ever been arrested? No. What was the last thing you watched on TV? I don't watch TV by my own volition anymore and there's not even a TV in my room, so... I really don't know. Do you have a tan? Even the Irish are ashamed of me. What was your most embarrassing moment? Who knows. I'm so easily humiliated and affected by it that I can remember times I've been even remotely embarrassed as far back as pre-k. Do you fall for people fast? No. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Are you quick to judge? Depends. Not generally. When was the last time you crawled through a window? I have zero clue. Are you scared of spiders? Most, yes. What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Have a full-blown panic attack despite that being physically impossible. Do you plan on moving within the next year? It'd be nice, but I estimate it'll be around two more years. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Hm. A few, since the parking area behind the house is decently-sized. Are you taller than your mom? No. Are you a cuddler? Yes. Sleep on your back or stomach? My stomach/upper torso kinda to the side. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? I don't remember. Though I know I was mad recently. How long has it been since you had sex? Almost four years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a car wreck. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been maaaany months. What facial cleanser do you use? Biore. Do you use a blowdryer? No. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? Dogs and cats lmao. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Still rather be a woman. Favorite underwear brand? Idk. Last thing you bought at the mall? A book. Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. What if an ex asked to be back in your life? Aaron: We've never had issues, we just drifted apart. It'd be weird for him to ask that, but I mean, sure? Juan: I don't know. Probably not. Jason: I REALLY don't know. We could probably be friends at a distance. Tyler: No, I think. Girt: He's still in my life. If you’re on a laptop, how much charge does it have right now? It's charging and only tells me the minutes until it's at full charge. Last gift you received? I don't know. Lesson you recently learned? I absolutely cannot work in a busy environment. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What is a field of study that is of your interest? Zoology. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Thinking too hard on what the appropriate amount of eye contact is. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah. What time of day do you feel mostly at peace? Morning. How has the weather been treating you lately? It's way too fucking hot and humid. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? We've had numerous cats be hit by cars. It was always sad, but I mean, I got through it. Especially as I was just a kid and didn't quite fathom how serious death was, nor did any cats I was SUPER attached to die that way. What can you go a day without doing? Going outside. What can’t you go a day without doing? Using some form of technology. Talking to Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? No one. I'm usually alone. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? A caring heart. Have you ever eaten a zucchini? A fried one that was sliced into chips. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Dark art or fandom-related stuff. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Oreos omggggg. What fruit is too sweet to you? None, I think? How much money did your last vacation cost? I don't even remember my last vacation. Have you ever taken a physics class? Yeah. What are your thoughts on celebrity idolization and ‘fangirling/fanboying?’ Oh boy, I can't talk shit here for obvious reasons lmao. What is the messiest area in your home? I'm not sure... I haven't been in my sister's old room in forever, and I can't remember if it's empty or not. If it is empty - hell, even if it isn't -, the answer's probably the laundry room. Who was the last person you called? My mom. What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror is my favorite game genre period. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Well, Mom had mixed feelings about Juan, but so did I. She didn't not like him, though. Do you take public transportation to work? N/A. Public transport doesn't even come here. What extracurricular activities did you do when you were growing up? Soccer for one season (I hated it), softball, basketball, briefly cheerleading, and dance. Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Idk. I don't think so. Do you like chicken korma? I have no clue what that is. What was the last type of tea you drank? I never drink tea; I hate it. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? Yes. Where is the most interesting place you could go that’s within day-trip distance from your house? Stealing previous answer: Washington D.C. Do you ever rearrange your furniture? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? Lol I'm still financially dependent on them. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I am an extremely fast eater. I'm not messy or anything, I just, eat how I feel is normal? Just chew until you've done so enough to swallow. What room(s) of your house did you last vacuum? Mine. How old were you when you had your first relationship? My first "real" relationship started at 15. I had a middle school bf for just like... a month or so, but that was all puppy-dog love. Why did your last relationship end? I verified that I didn't like him romantically, and I also found I was just too guarded. In our four months of dating, I got no closer to him than I was from the start. I wasn't ready to date a guy again. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? No idea. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Do you live in a high cost-of-living area? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? I fucking hate my body and I'm sure anyone else would too. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I don't like Monster. Do you follow your head or your heart? Both, I guess. It depends. How do you act under pressure? Did somebody say PANIC?!?!?!?! Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? No. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? No. It'd probably depress me. Have you ever ran from the police? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeah, back as a kid... Are you double jointed? No. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? My first stuffed meerkat I named after Zaphod from MM. Or my moose Brownie. Do you have any trophies? Somewhere. Do you work out? No. What grade are you in? I’m not in school. Do you like screamo music? No. Let me hear words, please. If I learn the lyrics, I can /sometimes/ enjoy the song, though. What does your wallet look like? It's rectangular with a Harley Quinn design. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is weed a drug? *Technically*, by definition, yes Who’s the first person you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on? Mom or Sara. Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, that's fucking stupid. If you got pregnant right now, would you keep the baby? If I was, God forbid, raped, I don't think I could. If I had unprotected sex willingly, I truly think pregnancy would traumatize me, but I'd probably go through with it and put it up for adoption. I'd want to take responsibility for my actions. Does your family have a secret? No. Are you prejudice against any groups of people? No. If someone gave you a houseplant, would you keep it? Yeah, to be nice. That fella wouldn't live long, though. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car. Are there any exercises that you do regularly? I'm trying to get in the habit of planking every day since it works out your whole body. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? HELL YES!!!! If you had a son right now, what would you name him? Probably Damien. Who names their son after a Markiplier character? Me. But real talk, I like the name. Do you own a desktop or a laptop? A laptop. Have you kissed more than three guys this year? I haven't kissed any guys. Who’s with you? Mom's on the couch outside my door. Can you use chopsticks? I highly doubt it, especially because I have tremors. When did you last go to an amusement park? Oh, wow. I actually think this was shortly before Jason and I broke up. So 2015. Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Don't you fucking dare joke about rape, retardation, suicide, or self-harm. What would you do if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both females. We can't. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? I don't have any of my exes' numbers, so I'd answer it and say "hello?". Are any of your texts in your inbox locked? A couple from Sara. If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard, could you still type? Yes; I don't look at the keyboard when I type. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Twice now. Do you currently have a scar? I have a lot. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a petrol station. What do you buy? I mean, it depends on what I'm up for. Usually Reese's or something sour. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? Probably a dolphin. What do you order most off the internet? Clothes. Describe the last time you were injured? So I have this awful habit of tearing my fingernails when they get long, and I peeled it way too short. Rock concert or symphony? Y'all know I'm picking rock. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone? Mark and Chica, and my home screen is Sara and me. Most recent movie you’ve watched at the cinema? Detective Pikachu. Name an actor/actress you’ve had the hots for? Jason Momoa. My straight side is certainly still there, friends. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Have you ever done ballet? No. Do you listen to classical music? No. Do you watch Spongebob? I don't watch TV period. Do people consider you intelligent? Those in my life seem stuck on high school me, when I was really smart. I don't think I am anymore. What curse word do you use the most? "Fuck," oops. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Well yeah, I'm probably gonna BE that person one day, lmao. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? It's impossible to mispronounce my name... The only thing that sometimes happens is my name is misspelled.

[tinkdw]

hi I don’t know if it’s just me, but does it feel like d/c’s relationship has been kind of stagnant for the past few seasons...? i just don’t sense much development but it could all be in my head. maybe it’s bc cas can’t be in every episode so it feels like he has a very set role

The TL;DR version is: WE, the audience, know they love each other romantically. THEY are written as thinking they can’t have each other (he doesn’t love me that way / I’m only needed not wanted / everything I touch turns bad / I’ve done nothing but screw up his life / I’m poison). 

Cue audience frustration

Why?

Dean/Cas as romantic since mid season 11 has been growing at an alarmingly massive rate but it has grown as a love story core to the plot, not as a bunch of wink wink nudge nudge moments as it had been many times previously.

It’s not a JOKE anymore it’s CORE TO THE PLOT.

So yeah, we haven’t had so many moments like Thelma and Louise or lip licking  or boner scenes but we’ve had Cas literally tell Dean he’s in love with him then telling the rest of the family that he loves them, surrounded by a bunch of peripheral characters prior to this in s12 doing their own rendition of singular v plural (like Magda’s mom “she did this to me, she did this to us” etc) then finally in season 13 this came back again with Jack’s reminder of this moment in the finale just as Dean is with Cas and saying yes to Michael to save the others and the world just as Cas originally helped him avoid. Of all the ironies amiright.

Because in between this we had the Empty literally telling Cas he knows who he loves and that there’s nothing for him there and Dean running around for 3 years yelling “what about CAS?!” at every opportunity.

It couldn’t be clearer that Dean’s mourning for Cas was different to Sam’s. That Dean’s grief is what caused Jack to reach through the veil and wake Cas up. Insert gif of “gay love pierces the veil and saves the day”. Cos I mean JEEZ. Plus this reminds us again of how Amara had to reach through Cas’ heart to get to Dean at the end of season 11 even though they were apparently “bound” but ahem no, she had to work through Cas to get to Dean because Dean’s chosen bond with Cas was way stronger than the forced bond with her. She couldn’t contact him until he was thinking about Cas and she hovered her hand over his heart to feel the link then she was able to speak to him. TWICE. Like… this is all canon and it doesn’t really come across as platonic you know? All this heart symbolism and it being clear that something here is deep and meaningful, meanwhile Dean is going through his personal arc of accepting who he really is and a huge amount of that is stuff like ahem, riding Larry, and a whole bunch of stuff over 13 years leading us to see him as bisexual and at the same time he happens to have deep and meaningful and different feelings towards one dude in particular who tells him he loves him then Dean goes and makes him a mixtape and is so friggin awkward like a teenager with a crush who at the same time is not sure what he can and can’t have, is going through a whole personal arc of self worth and acceptance where he’s flitting between letting himself have what he wants but then also holding back so he gives him the friggin mixtape but is also like “buddy” “pal” cough um, I mean, uh, here have this tape I made you and let me look after you here’s a beer though you don’t need one, do you need a back rub? I mean, uhh.… ok this is all a massive coincidence right? Pfffft.

Meanwhile it couldn’t be clearer that Cas thinks Dean is not in love with him, that he feels rejected romantically and this is the basis for all of their interactions in season 13. Dean being all “oh I was grieving and nearly died myself until you came back but then I immediately went “welcome home pal” and suppressed the CRAP out of all those feelings and then went on to tell you you were brought back cos we needed you back which is such horse shit everyone was screaming at their tv “NO THE ONLY PERSON WHO NEEDED HIM BACK WAS YOU DEAN AND YOU DONT NEED HIM, YOU WANT HIM! IT’S NOT THE SAME!”. The only reason Jack at that point needed Cas back was because Dean was being such a dick to him because of what he did to Cas. Like… ain’t no sub to that text. Again that’s all canon.

We then had Sam’s “we need you, I need you” to Gabriel which was clearly NOT ROMANTIC but emphasised both the fact that Cas thinks Dean’s “I need you” was not romantic and therefore feels rejected AND the plural/singular thing.

We have Tombstone where Dean’s been a mess for 5 episodes then Cas comes back and he’s BEAMING. But to Cas nothing has changed, he doesn’t know Dean was a mess, to him Dean’s just being Dean but we the audience see the huge change. This then builds all season up to Dean’s BS “we needed you back” no chickflick moments totally suppressing the truth comment to Cas so Cas has no idea of what really happened and how it all hinges on Dean’s feelings for him.

We have the Donatello thing where the reason Cas goes full on triggered and ends up doing what he does is because he hurt Dean. When he hurt Sam it was like oh bad times but whatever lets just tie him up and ask him questions.

Hurting Dean though?

x 

Like… sure of course it’s all still subtext and if they really wanted to they could chicken out because noone has said “I love you” in a direct and open manner to the other without the other thinking it’s not really what they mean or rejecting the crap out of it because they don’t think they’re worthy and causing them to feel rejected but it would make no real narrative sense at this point other than as massive queerbaiting and storybaiting because they’ve built them now so far in the context of the plot as intrinsic to each other and to the plot itself as romantic now.

Like, what is the point of all this if not to lead here you know? You just wouldn’t bother making it romantic in the first place. You just wouldn’t bother building the plural v singular and need v want and perceived rejection over the course of 2.5 YEARS if not to go somewhere with it all when it all points to the same conclusion?

I think a big problem rn in the narrative and fandom is that both of them feels the other has in the past or is currently romantically rejecting them. Their feelings are stalled and suppressed which makes us watching it feel it is stalled / suppressed even though it’s built into the narrative more than ever.

WE, the audience, know they love each other romantically. 

THEY think they can’t have each other so act accordingly awkward around each other instead of flirty / like they think it could happen so it comes across on screen like they’re not interested in each other even though at every opportunity around it we are being continuously told they are.

Cue audience frustration.

^ That’s the point we are at now ^ 

THEY think the other isn’t in love with them in return and that there’s nothing for them there (Cas) or that they don’t deserve that love (Dean) or a mix of the two plus a whole bunch of “he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants we’re better off as friends anyway and everyone I touch / love ends up dead and if we ever did get to a point where our lives weren’t this apocalyptical mess and he still felt the same way maybe then when we’re on the beach sipping beers in matching Hawaiian shirts then I could entertain the thought of us together and offer to put lotion on his back and go from there but at this point it would just end badly and I don’t think I could lose him again after getting together it would just hurt even more and I can’t do that to either of us”.

Remember in season 9 when Cas was human and they were at a point of literally flirting so much Sam was like WTF

But then Cas had to become an Angel again to do his duty, to help Heaven, save Sam etc and Dean was like dude what why did you do that are you ok with that and Cas didn’t answer at all except to say he had to do it. Like, they literally built in that episode what would happen if they were actually allowed to do what they wanted for once, which was whatever the hell was coming after all this flirtation ^, it was a massive exposition of what Cas wanted instead of what he thought he needed to do to be useful. It was “hey look this is what Cas wants but he is stopping himself from having it but remember this and bear with until he gets to the point he can allow himself to have it”.

Which is again exactly what Dean’s Hawaiian shirt speech was in 13x23!

=>These are exposition of what they want right before forcing them to reject it in order to be useful to save others. Exposing their desires to make it even more heartbreaking when they reject it out of their selfless desire to help others. 

BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HEROES DO.

You can’t really build a hero without first showing what they want so it is even stronger when they suppress that in order to help others. I mean, you could but it would be pretty hollow, showing what they want and then not allowing them to have it until their happy ending is kind of how you build the tragic hero story, otherwise it’s kinda like meh what’s the alternative? Give the audience the alternative, what they want, then take it away from them due to their selfless desire to help others, that’s what makes a real hero story. Then give them their happy ending and the audience will have wanted it for so long for them they’ll love you for it.

Like - SPN fandom is mostly a bunch of people yelling “why can’t they just be happy?! Give Sam a dog! Let him have friends! Let Dean cook and have his Dean cave! Let Cas feel loved!” That’s because it’s been so well built this way to make us want this for them and them not having it for years. 

Make the audience want something then hold it back - lesson 101 of building their engagement with the story.

TL;DR since mid season 11 they’ve given us so much Dean/Cas as romantic that the GA have started noticing, it’s a serious topic in interviews eg Dean and Sam’s reactions to Cas’ death and more and more people are seeing it as romantic (even the anti Destiel people are foaming at the mouth and yelling at TPTB because they can’t deny it in the text of the show anymore), whilst also building it that the characters themselves think it’s NOT romantic or that they just can’t have it and I think that’s where this perception that it isn’t comes from - the characters own perception that they can’t have it.

But the narrative is showing us it bloody well is romantic AF but the characters are suppressing it, so buckle up for when they realise they might be able to actually have it.

[matan4il]

Some Eurovision 2018 thoughts

Because I promised @isabellaofparma I would post these, that’s why. I should note, I wrote most of this before the rehearsals and saved it as draft, so there are only a few added touches before posting. Also, can’t believe it’s almost a year since ESC 2017. @beautifulhusbands, remember when we chatted about last year’s competition? Good times. OK, here are a few thoughts about some of the songs by country... Hungary - thing for me is, I love rock songs at the ESC, so a rock song has to work really hard for me not to like it in this competition. Still, this one feels particularly authentic, so major kudos, it’s my fave rock song this year (sorry, @i-want-messed-up-with-you-4-ever, though the Netherlands’ country rock entry is nice too. @letthebluerain we also have a cute light rock song from Romania, but I have to admit I’m always disappointed when I don’t get a song in Romanian from the country I was born in. But I actually adore that we have more than one rock song this year, I like this diversity). @isabellaofparma, I still love last year’s Hungarian entry more, but that’s because it became one of my fave ESC songs ever, not because this year’s offering isn’t good. FYR Macedonia - I saw some people saying this song is a mess of genres, but I don’t think that’s the issue. You can throw in five different musical genres and as an idea, it could still work well. For me the problem is every time I get into a particular portion and genre and I start enjoying myself, the song switches over. So I’m left unsatisfied by the whole thing. Greece - I like this song. I adore all songs that are in their country’s native language rather than in English, even though I get why so many choose to perform in the latter. So this song gets points for that, has an ethnic sound to it which I also like and generally, it seems like Israelis tend to like the Greek songs. So yeah, one of my faves this year. I think it has a real shot at being the winner. (isn’t @nvrtickleadragon Greek? I like relating songs and countries to people. So go you!) Belarus - this may be weird but the singer reminds me of the guy who played the (more) openly gay teenager on Witness (I miss that show so much). That does things to me. So I like this entry, but it may not be for the right reasons. I think how this will do will greatly depend on how it’s executed on stage. Italy - I have to say, I adore the Italian tendency to send songs in Italian as it’s one of my fave languages. This entry is nice musically, though I think one of the singers is not as good as the other one and the disparity takes away some of my enjoyment. Also, I’m not fond of the tendency to send 'from the headlines’ songs, though relatively to the genre, this one is nice. All in all, my feelings are it could have been better and it could have been worse. At least the hook is catchy. (I believe @robertjacobsugdens is Italian, right? Again, me with the relating stuff to people thing. I do believe you guys will do well this year even if this isn’t my fave entry this year, nor my fave Italian song to the ESC) Also, technically, I wanna rant over the fact that there actually ARE pacifist bombs. For example, there are bombs used specifically to destroy other bombs in a controlled manner that saves lives. So. I don’t know. I don’t like an oversimplified message is what I’m saying, I guess. Kinda makes you wonder why I listen to ESC then, right? ;p France - This is another one ‘from the headlines’, so once more, I’m a bit meh. It’s a nice, lovely tune, I adore that France always sing in French, but the song becomes too familiar too quickly in my opinion. I’m sorry, @iamarobronniffler, I think you guys will get a high score, but I don’t think it will win... I also think it was sort of hurt by being one of the first songs to be released, which means people had loads of time to get used to it... Personal pet peeve is that the singer pronounces ‘Mercy’ not like the English word the name derives from, but like the French word ‘merci’, which is a nice touch, but it starts bothering me towards the end of the song, when the name is repeated (and mispronounced) so much. Denmark - ok, so on first listen? It’s a really strong entry. The drums are epic, the staging is good, the production of the song is tight, the legend behind the song of Vikings who decided not to fight is cool, it is a catchy song, Rasmussen has stage experience so the odds of him faltering on the night are slim, thus this song has SO MUCH going for it. Usually, if you have a song like this and you come from one of the two blocks (the Soviet or the Scndinavian ones) I feel like you have it in the bag. That’s how I felt about Sweden’s Heroes and Denmark’s Only Teardrops and they both won. But I feel like one thing that works against the song is that it has something about it that’s almost too serious and in a year where a lot of things are less so, plus this year is very innovative while this song is classically epic, that may work against it. Also, I feel like years when the Scandinavian countries send more than one strong entry, that end up splitting the Nordic vote and negates the block advantage. This year, you have Finland with a strong entry too, plus Sweden being Sweden. Basically, I feel like this could have been the winner in a lot of years, but probably not this one. Portugal - feels like an attempt to send a song in the same genre of their winner last year and I think the odds of the same country winning twice in a row with the same type of song is slim to none. That being said, I think this year’s offering is lovely and way better in this genre than last year’s Portuguese song. Sorry, I still don’t think that guy should have won. Sweden - hmmm, this will do well, first of all because it’s Sweden (really, @stulot, it’s ridiculous what an empire you are in this sense) and because it has a nice, young Michael Jackson vibe. But I really don’t think it’s gonna win. It doesn’t stand out enough in my opinion. Plus, the Danish and Finnish contenders are stronger IMO, so my guess is a lot of Scandinavians votes are gonna go there rather than to Sweden. It’s a good song, it’s just not enough of a competition when even within Scandinavia, it’s only the third strongest song. Ireland - the song is sooooo sweet, it’s almost too much so. It gets a bit better once you realize it’s actually about a relationship that has ended, it gives the idea behind it a bit of a twist than if it were just a declaration of sickeningly sweet love, but the real gem for this entry is the clip. It’s openly showcasing a same-sex couple and I am SO happy about that! Despite its gay reputation, ESC is actually more heteronormative than you’d expect, so that clip made me really happy. I want it to do better than it might have otherwise for that alone. I'm glad they’re bringing it to the stage in Lisbon too. I’m annoyed (though not surprised) that Russia said it would cut this song out. Thing is, Russia is allowed to do that in the semi-final, but not in the final, so for that reason if nothing else, I want Ireland in the final. (person from fandom that this made me think of, @dannymiller-irish-fan. Promise I’m done with the tagging now... I think) Cyprus - this is a very typical ESC song, it’s fun and tightly produced so it will do well, but I’m not happy about the lack of originality, plus the pushing of the ‘sex sells’ angle is not something that I subscribe to. Bulgaria - this song feels very current, easily a pop hit you could hear on the radio rather than on the ESC stage. I enjoy it, I think a lot depends on the live performance, how the staging will go, how will their voices blend live, but I think it can be the winner. Estonia - it’s weird, I think her voice is stunning beyond measure, the song is perfect opera pop, I enjoy it whenever I hear it and yet it’s not a song I can see myself listening to outside of the competition. Maybe because it’s not exactly one you can sing along to. All the same, another possible winner IMO. Finland - So this is the strongest Scandinavian contender in my book (so @youslicetheginger, I think you guys have a shot). The song is classic ESC, it’s also well produced and performed, which is really important, so that takes a bit away from the fact that it’s not that original. However, you gotta add in two more advantages, both originating in Saara Aalto being the one performing it (beyond the fact that SHE CAN FUCKING BELT). One is that she was on singing reality shows in both Finland AND the UK before the contest, which probably makes her the most established artist of the whole lot before the competition. That matters because while the Scandinavian vote is split up this year, she can make up for it through fans of hers from outside Finland and Scandinavia. The other is her being open about her engagement to a woman. This, together with the possible LGBTQ reading of her song, I think can also get her a lot of votes. So basically, out of the Nordic countries, I believe she’s gonna place highest. And I’m definitely a fan. Iceland - the most interesting things about this clip and its video: the church you can see in the clip, the streets Ari (the singer) walks down in it, are ones I’ve seen and walked too, which was pretty cool to me. Ari means Eagle in the Scandinavian language, which is a cool coincidence with the fact that in Hebrew, the same name means lion. ‘But Alice, these interesting tidbits have nothing to do with the song!?’ you say? Exactly. Sorry, Ari, you look like a lovely guy, you damn well can sing, but this is the biggest bore fest this year. You deserved a better song. Norway - This is the definition of “don’t know when to call it quits”. What’s worst to me is Alexander tried to make it better by saying kids keep asking him how to write a song and this was his reply to them. Either he’s lying and just trying to get the audience to go all ‘awwww’ over his very banal song, an inferior version of the song he had won with in the past... or he’s honest, in which case, STOP LYING TO THE KIDS, Alexander. That is NOT how you write a song. Ukraine - I think this is such a cool, different song performed by a cool, different artist, it’s upbeat, it’s not preachy, it’s unique, it’s catchy, I love it. I don’t think it will win, but it’s another one of my faves. Spain - this love song made me think of @imre-gr, of course. It is sweet and lovely. It was the first song I heard that made me smile, so how could I not think of you? But then, I have to admit that it is very much the typical ESC love duet and while it’s a very good version of it, in a year full of unique and different songs, I don’t think it stands a chance to win. Sorry. :( Israel - honestly, my first reaction when the song was first released was, ‘ok, so we will not win this year either’. I still think it’s too divisive to win (I know the bookkeepers disagree, but I think they mainly rely on how many views the song clips get on YouTube and that is NOT a measure for which one will win the ESC), I think the song’s too original, too creative and TOO out there, not enough people get why the chicken bits were included, too many people started arguing about whether this is a feminist song or an anti-male one, but I was happy to see it was less divisive than I anticipated and that a lot of people have responded so positively to the song, to its message of self-empowerment and to Netta. I can’t think of anything better than so many people seeing a woman who is clearly nothing like the thin ideal of beauty in our society singing “I’m a beautiful creature”, getting that she means it and agreeing with her. Netta in simply who she is conveys a real message and spirit of change for the better. The song itself tries to tackle a serious issue but without being preachy or heavy about it, make it fun for people when they sing about feminism and embracing yourself and your strength as you are. I feel like this attempt sometimes means the lyrics aren’t clear enough (as the song is inspired by the #metoo movement, ‘stupid boy’ doesn’t feel like a harsh enough term for the sexual harassment the song refers to, plus it can too easily be used to make it seem like the song is anti-male, because people take it as if ‘stupid boy’ is referring to all men rather than to jerks who take advantage of women), but I still appreciate what it tries to do. And at the end of the day, I think Netta is fabulous, I think she got her message across, I think her song became popular way beyond the bounds of the competition, so in my eyes, even if she won’t win the contest, she’s a true winner and wonder woman. I’m proud of you and thank you for representing in such an amazing way a huge part of the beauty of my country on its 70th anniversary. <3

[princess-kidatheart17]

Why, hello there! I've looking through your blog and I simply love it! As it seems, you really love this girl, Karmi (i'm new in the fandom, forgive me ;u;) and you ship her with Hiro. I have mixed feelings about them, part of me is like: SHIP, SHIP, SHIP! and the other one is like: F R I E N D S H I P. Could you pretty please tell me some cons and pros about the ship and the friendship? I really need to clear my mind or have a consistent idea...

First, SORRY IF IT TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER. I’m in vacations and I usually prefer to answer asks with a computer, because Tumblr app can be… meh sometimes.

I’m really glad you like my blog! :) And welcome to the fandom!

For the moment, it’s not like Karmiro is my BIG ASS OTP, because we’ve seen only one episode with their interactions. I’m just opened to them becoming an official couple over the course of the series. But I have a feeling I’m gonna ship it a lot lmao.

So, under your request, I did a list of pros and cons about Karmi and Hiro’s relationship (no matter ship or friendship)  :)

*Note that it’s only based from one episode, and these points can change as the series go by (since we don’t know much about Karmi)*

KARMIRO PROS:

Karmi is Hiro’s age. Both never seemed to have a friend their own age before (Karmi simply never had friends, and Hiro only has people older than him, a robot and formely his big brother) and having eachother as friends would be benefict for the both of them.

According to Baymax, Karmi doesn’t have a social network for support like Hiro does. By how she only has her viruses for friends and she considers Hiro’s kindness towards her for a crush solely, she might’ve been hurt in the past and has trust issues towards other people and an anti-social behavior. So having Hiro show her kindess and make her trust him would be good for her.

Hiro is still going through his grief process over the loss of Tadashi. Having Karmi support him through it would be a pretty sweet move from her and it would show her true colors.

Both are child geniuses with similar, but also different experiences, and it’s interesting to see.

A tsundere and a sinnamon roll together, it would just be too cute.

KARMIRO CONS:

Obviously, Karmi is rude to Hiro for no good reason (for the moment) It could be due to prior bad experiences, but Hiro doesn’t seem to want to be her rival and really wants to be friends with her, so I’ll be disappointed if Karmi doesn’t mellow around him/keep being despicable to him despite Hiro’s honest friendship proposal.

Karmi seems a bit obsessive over Hiro’s superhero persona, and while it could change, I hope it’s not the ‘‘crazy fangirl’’ stereotype all over again

If Karmi ends up befriending/dating Hiro, I hope she has at least has interractions with the rest of the gang; otherwise she’d be dependant of her friendship and affection with Hiro similarly like he was to Tadashi. What I mean is, since Hiro was probably the first person in years to treat her with respect and kindness like a decent human being, then Karmi would only open herself to Hiro and no one else, and it’s not healthy. We knew what happened to Hiro when something awful happened his only source of happiness, so the same could happen to Karmi if she’s too dependant on Hiro and doesn’t open herself to more people.

That’s all I could think of. 

Feel free to add more in comments or reblogs :)

[p-redux]

I’m baaaaaaack!

I left the Outlander fandom last year to focus on helping my mom take care of my dad. After a long battle with cancer, my dad passed this March. I’ve been in a fog since then and realized I needed some fun in my life and a distraction. Now that my dad is gone, I decided to return to Twitter and Tumblr, but not in the same capacity as before. More about that in a bit. I created this Tumblr and my new Twitter, @p_redux, at the end of April, but then the proverbial sh*t hit the fan–dom, with more and more reveals about Sam and Mackenzie, so I said “Not today, Satan, not today,” and decided to wait. Then I realized some sh*t is always going to be hitting the Outlander fan, so I figured now is as good a time as any to come back. 

I know some of you will be happy to see me **waves**, others not so much **there, there poor bunnies** and others will be cackling with “I told you she’d be back!” **here’s your prize** I’m here for those of you who will be happy to see me. I’m here to have FUN with old friends and new friends. I proved I was telling the truth about knowing Sam and Cait weren’t really a couple literally years ago. Been there, done that. If at this point you still think Sam and Cait are a couple, nothing I say will make you believe otherwise. And frankly, I don’t care anymore. The truth is out there now, I’m no longer the sole person fighting for it like I was in the beginning–it’s not necessary for me to be in the forefront. In my absence, plenty of others have taken up the torch and fight lies on a daily basis. I don’t need to. That’s not why I’m back.

So what WILL I Tumble & Tweet about? Whatever piques my fancy. One day it may be Outlander show stuff, another day it may be how hot Sam, Tobias, Rik, Graham, etc are (and no this doesn’t mean I treat men like objects. I like the whole man, all of him, but sometimes parts of him captivate me for a spell), another day it may be what a goddess Cait is, another day it may be how cute Tait and Samzie are. I don’t ship them, but I do support them. I will also talk about other entertainment interests such as Dancing With The Stars, The Bachelor/Bachelorette and most of the Real Housewives shows. Basically, I want to forget about real life and just have fun online with cool people, that’s pretty much it. 

Will I still do call outs? Probably not. Much. If anything, I’ll most likely piggyback on someone else’s post or if I’m feeling extra energetic I may occasionally point out nonsense in the fandom, but I’m pretty apathetic about the whole thing. Plus, I’m tired, and still grieving, so we’ll see. 

Will I fight with people? NO. Like I said: tired, apathetic, mourning, meh. 

Will I post source info? Not regularly. Only if something major happens and I’m privy to it. If not, again, meh, I’m over it. 

So, extreme shippers, ex-friends, fandom mean girls, don’t get your panties in a bunch that I’m back. I’m not here for you. Pretend you don’t see me. I “suggest you ignore,” and all that jazz. I’m here for people who were nice to me and with whom I had fun. Life is precious and short and I want to spend it being happy and enjoying myself.

PS. There will be frivolity, irreverence, frequent cussing, d*ck talk, and assorted other discussions that may not be everyone’s cup of tea. You are free to follow or not. Love it or leave it. Now, let’s have FUN!

[allitalksfandom]

Okay. So I tried to save the Arvis ask for @swordsoprano as a draft, but Tumblr sucks so I’m starting over. (Ooor...resume it half a month later and spend a good chunk of it talking about fanfic AUs and being silly. #JustAlliThings) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my opinion and if you feel differently about anything I say here, it’s okay!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

It can be both, right?

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

I know I’m ace-spectrum, but this (and loving Saias) is why I find Aida #relatable. I have a weakness for redheads stemming from a childhood crush. And he’s tall and wears a cool outfit. 

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

I’m just going with what @markoftheasphodel said.

best quality:

He genuinely loves and cares Azel, even if he fails to express it in a healthy/non-intimidating way. I think I heard that there’s more about their relationship in further Oosawa chapters, so once I am mentally and emotionally prepared to resume the liveblog of legend, we’ll see if she can make me cry a third time about their relationship. No. Really. (A warning: In one of those links I use the term “biologically female” in reference to a trans OC of mine. Now I would use either dfab or afab, but I was unaware of the correct terminology at the time, so this is just a warning!)

His letting Azel’s mom stay once he becomes duke, and the Treasure article talking about how him, Azel, and Azel’s mom were like a family. GAH!

It’s pretty cool that he liberated slaves when he was emperor.

Julia seems genuinely fond of him, and not just when she talks to him in FE4 (I had wondered if she was just saying empty reassurances). Granted, FE Heroes came out twenty IRL years after the fact...

Pictured: “My” Julia talking about her dead family, but it’s going to be okay because she’s my daughter now and no one will ever hurt her again. Except on the highest levels of the Training Tower.

worst quality:

*points to FE4* 

ship them with:

Oookay. So...as is well-known, I had Issues TM with the execution of SigurdxDeirdre in the Oosawa manga. So when I saw how Arvis’ interactions with her were presented...I kind of shipped it. Which makes me feel awful because I hate incest ships! And there’s a bunch of other things about shipping Arvis with Deirdre that are unhealthy! But I realized this ship was kind of born out of reactionary feelings, so now I ship Oosawa!Deirdre with one of my potential boyfriends from Alli FE. She can indulge her knight fetish with Itri the anxiety-ridden scholar knight, there’s no incest, and my self-insert gets to feel pleased that she helped thwart yet another evil cult.

...Back to Arvis. For fic, I’ll write what I need to write. But if it starts out sweet, it’s going to be unhealthy.

And I guess I’m glad he and Aida did the horizontal tango*. (I felt like calling it that.) I love my children.

brotp them with: 

Azel! I also like him with Aida. They have one of those bickering friendships, but they do care about each other he just doesn’t care about their kids that much

I do feel like, although he wasn’t the most emotional man with Julius and Julia, he cared a lot about them, and tried to do his best to show it. needs to stay away from:

Even when they both know that they’re siblings, I feel like his relationship with Deirdre might be tension-filled...

At least in the Cinderella!AU, he cares about her, yeah, but he’s also wondering how she can further his political ambitions. After all, she’s a young woman, and she needs a man to guide her. 

Not a husband, of course, no man is worthy of his sister. But certainly, someone should look out for her. And he’s clearly the best for the job.

The exception would probably be that happy-ending AU I promised @arthoure I’d write one day. There, they share custody of Julius and Julia, who were adopted from the cult that their mom escaped from. The same cult that tried to use them to rebirth their dark god, but hey, it’s 2009, Arvis has pictures of his mom in his home. And she sure looks like this amnesiatic stranger. And the news has a story about a missing young woman. So, yay?

misc. thoughts:

Back when all I knew about FE4 was incest, I was freaked out by it. This was a good thing. Why? Because this was before I entered my post-Phantom phase of fandom, so I would’ve been an Arvis apologist like I was for Lyon in my early teens >_>

I remember reading this article on him and being confused, mainly because I read the other Jugdral articles at the same time. “So, who’s the main character of this game? Why is half of this article backstory? WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?!”

Enter 2012, when I join the Jugdral fandom. Things get...heated.

I’ve talked about the contradictions inherent in his character with Mark and @siegmunds a few times, and I think that’s what draws me to him! For me when I imagine fic in my head, Genealogy of the Stones!Arvis is a more sympathetic character than most of the other incarnations, for example-he’s aware that he’s being manipulated by Manfroy, and he wishes he wasn’t deceiving Deirdre to the same extent (it’s a bit odd in this AU since there’s no sexism preventing her from ruling herself, but her being inexperienced means that Azmur wants her helped out by Arvis one way or another). He also fears that Azel will get caught up in things somehow. Yet when it’s the Battle of Berhella equivalent in my AU, although he’s courteous to the Renais twins and is willing for them to leave without a fight, he’s all venom otherwise. He’s enjoying this rush of power.

Meanwhile, in other AUs he’s a lot more happy to manipulate people, and he likes to think that he’s calling the shots with Manfroy. The beautiful thing is that you can legitimately write him either way!

/tl;dr Arvis is my trash boyfriend

*It’s such a funny expression! The tango is always portrayed as something where the dancers are really in control of their movements, and sex doesn’t seem like something as...graceful. I could see the comparison on physical demand, though? /asexual virgin’s thoughts

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 12x13 “Family Feud”

contains personal chit-chat, a selfie, and a photo of one of our iridescent chickens, because i kept getting distracted (potentially because this episode wasn’t particularly enthralling)

also, flawed time travel logic

05:18pm

i saw a promo on instagram but the sound wasn’t working, so apart from knowing crowley and rowena are in this, and shout a lot, i got no clue what’s going on. but this one’s written by the deadly duo sooooooooooo :/

also a new director named p.j. pesce. hi there, please kindly make the deadly duo’s script less offensive with good directing, thank you

-

05:20

man i hope cas is in this. but in a nice uplifting way not a bullshit frustrating no homo way

/sips tea

-

05:24

i’m so unaffected by these scare tactics

idk if it’s because i’ve watched twelve seasons of this show but i kind of zone out when the violins start shrieking

-

05:36

(people just arrived at the house, social!Elmie emerged for 2 minutes, i cleaned the bathroom, changed the towels, and greeted everyone and NOW I’M BACK AND EVEN MORE EXHAUSTED)

-

05:39

(and then i took two (NOW THREE) phone calls from my dad going like “i’m in the store and they don’t have the pasta that’s the only kind of pasta you eat, but they have this other pasta that has a thing in it you’re allergic to listed in the ingredients, do you want that?”

me: *emphatic NO*

I HATE BEING THE ONLY ONE HOME)

(AND I HAVE TO WASH MY HANDS EVERY TIME I ANSWER THE PHONE SO I’M KIND OF DIZZY FROM GETTING UP NOW)

(I PAINTED A WHOLE ROOM YESTERDAY I JUST WANT TO SIT AND DO NOTHING)

-

05:44

anyway what was i saying

oh yeah, this scene feels weirdly voyeuristic, lady getting ready for bed

“my nightly routine!! you’ll never guess what kills me”

-

05:46

a ghost’s arms pop up out of the mattress and throttle the lady to death

okay firstly, i laughed

secondly, wow that was actually kind of cool

thirdly DUDE ALL FOUR OF YOUR LIMBS WERE IN THE BED, THAT’S MEANT TO PROTECT YOU 

fourthly, i heard something like this happened in the hotel version of american horror story?? i don’t watch it but i heard about something living inside a mattress

fifthly ACCURATE PHOTO FRAME BLOOD SPLATTER 15 points for the mattress ghost

-

05:49

end of a phone call to cas. welp i’m guessing that’s all we’ll hear from him, with no other mentions

/sigh

LET’S IMAGINE THE REST OF THAT CALL WAS “I MISS YOU” AND “TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND I’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK, CAS. BUY MILK”

-

05:54

god after so many seasons fuelled completely by the winchesters’ extended family lying to each other i’m so not in the mood for more of the same

mary, your choices make sense but they sicken me

-

05:55

mary: hey, i love you

BUT DID DEAN SAY IT BACK

-

05:58

oh yeah of course it takes several months before crowley explains to lucifer how he’s back in his old vessel

pfff

-

05:59

crowley: “we found your discarded vessel a few years ago”

but... didn’t lucifer still have the same vessel with glowing red eyes when rowena raised him from the cage last year

-

06:00

“improved it”

and by that you mean gave it a 90s teen haircut and gel and highlights

-

06:02

lucifer is hardcore queercoding himself right now

(or is that just how mark pellegrino talks? i’m not sure pls forgive. it’s cute, and tbh i love it deep down, but it’s potentially problematic in the grand scheme of audiences who associate obvious/outward queerness with badness)

-

06:05

these suncatcher rainbows tho

mmmm purple was a good decision

definitely suits me

hi reflection of plants from outside on my glasses

THIS ROOM IS PLEASANT NOW I’M SO HAPPY

it was a gross green/yellow/beige colour before. i intend to paint every room in the entire house eventually because it’s all that icky colour and i hate it

-

06:13

well after so many distractions, at least i can say this episode isn’t holding my attention very well

-

06:16

if the spooky suddenly-cold ghost thing happened to me i’d just start talking and introducing myself to the ghost

idk if it would work but clearly running away, or staring at things in bewilderment and then screaming does nothing for anyone

-

06:19

you know what, i think i realised why this isn’t holding my attention. i’ve had to repeat the scene where the lady tells sam and dean some information twice, and they’re talking about stuff that seems kind of abstract. i think the script is probably a little more “tell” rather than “show” which doesn’t really work for this particular kind of visual storytelling at all. they’re talking a lot, but showing mostly faces and unknown people rather than objects and actions, and all the new characters have no obvious personality besides their faces and their standard responses to standard questions

-

06:23

giant ship in the background

i know it’s a shipping museum but FANDOM SYMBOLISM

guess this one was for the wincest people

-

06:24

sam: “adhd spirits”

unsure if that was offensive or an accurate descriptor

-

06:25

diner lady: “when are you due?”

kelly: (clearly unhappy) i have no idea

diner lady: well, take it from me. before kids, your life is yours. once they show up, life as you know it is over

WOW THAT’S NOT THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO KELLY’S EXPRESSION OR TONE OF VOICE

oh right, an angel. that makes sense. autistic with a twisted sense of humour.

-

06:29

okay when does dean ever talk to himself (except if he’s talking to his car or to food??)

and NO THE AZTECS’ PRACTICES WERE FUCKED UP. DEAN TAKE A HISTORY LESSON

also .....i know this is a running theme recently, but why the hell is dean so clumsy with valuable artefacts

imagine him fumbling with a gun and dropping bullets???? no!!! maybe a model ship, they’re tricky things to handle and that was symbolic. but WHY A KNIFE

-

06:36

lucifer: “oh my dad”

even after so long and such bad rapey writing from these exact writers, i still love lucifer

his evil is sort of an endearing evil maybe

-

06:38

“get a library card”

and i love rowena

HEY WHAT IF SAM HAS A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY CARDS FROM ALL OVER THE USA 

WHAT IF HE ACTIVELY COLLECTS THEM

IN THE NAME OF RESEARCH

if dean has space to lug around 15 suits and 10 coats and 30 ties and 300 plaid shirts, sam has space for 1500 library cards

-

06:39

ugh god what is with people demanding shit from rowena and making her do things against her will

sam i thought you’d go easy on her since she legit saved dean’s life 2 weeks ago

WHY IS IT ALL SO TOXIC

-

06:44

AAAH MY MOTHER JUST SHOWED ME A VIDEO from this morning in our chicken coop

WE HAVE ~15 BABY CHICKS THEY’RE SO FLUFFY AND CONFUSED 

AAAAH

i’mma go see them very soon, maybe when the sun’s down because i’mma get sunburn otherwise, it’s delightfully sunny right now

-

06:47

why do i feel like this black guy is gonna die

-

06:48

WELP

there we go

/siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

-

06:49

“come with me if you wanna live”

i’m guessing this is ramiel’s sister

obviously she’s gonna die eventually ‘cause she’s a demon and i don’t know how i feel about that ‘cause i kinda like her

-

06:51

right now i’m INTO IT and this always happens at the halftime mark of a deadly duo episode. one of these writers is a good ‘un

-

06:54

rowena is so fucking pretty ughhghthggh <3

-

06:59

gavin: “my fiona’s a ghost?!”

see NOW i’m digging this episode and the storyline and the script and the characters

-

07:00

sun’s gone down, i’mma go see these baby chickens before it gets dark

-

07:20

all the chicks were hiding under their mothers, so no sightings today

but LOOK AT THIS FREAKING IRIDESCENT CHICKEN

-

07:37

thAT TWISTY-CAMERA GHOST MIST 

COOL

-

07:42

i see dean and sam still have the angel feathers

where do these angel feathers come from

where did the MoL get these feathers

HOW DO YOU MAKE WINGS CORPOREAL

WHEN WILL CAS SHOW US HIS WINGS

-

07:43

what i want to know is how they get the blood off all the walls once they’ve done all these spells

-

07:44

dean to sam: “beam him up, scotty”

if sam’s scotty then dean’s kirk and cas is spock

this works a little too well

-

07:45

so

a love story again

why do i feel like this is kind of about dean

(because it’s always about dean)

and he’s the one in focus in this shot

kind of like “look what the dude did for the person he loved!!!” sort of thing

-

07:47

dean: “so the victims at the school are all back to work, it’s like nothing ever happened”

okay but if nothing happened and none of them died, then how can they go BACK to work? and if they’d been at work all along, how would dean know, since that wouldn’t make news stories??? and if dean and sam remember everything, wouldn’t the people at the school remember too? if all of fiona’s actions were erased (including deaths), then dean and sam wouldn’t have been in town to investigate, and gavin wouldn’t have shown up, rendering this entire plotline non-existent

THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

YOUR TIME TRAVEL LOGIC IS FLAWED

-

07:54

YAY MARY COMES CLEAN AND THIS DOESN’T TURN INTO A MASSIVE YOU-LIED-TO-ME ARC

-

07:55

mary: Do Not Give Me The Face

dean: What Face.

mary: You Know The Face

dean: There’s No Face

mary: That’s The Face

yeah sounds about right

cas has that one categorised as “Oh No Dean Thinks I Fucked Up, Time To Do Puppy Eyes”

-

07:58

sam: “broken ribs and burnt feet” and [pause for everyone to say “brain rape” in their heads] “we don’t trust the brits”

-

08:02pm

okay well

mostly that was meh

some of it was okay

the time travel part was all mangled and self-erasing according to its own rules so i don’t know what to say about that

i dunno. it was just.. dull, overall

but that love story though. i’m not sure how or why yet, but it seemed to affect dean

maybe we’re just back to the “dean loves love” thing

i’d give this a 7/10 maybe. i wanna go 6/10 but that seems harsh given it wasn’t as dramatically offensive as usual, it was just a lil wonky. more tying up of loose plot ends, that’s good. bechdel test pass!! two surviving asian ladies, one of whom has a name. cool. several dead women and a black guy though. :/

also, regarding the angels that went poof! when daigon stabbed them. they went poof! like ramiel did when stabbed with his own magic spear. except he was a demon. when angels are stabbed by that it kills them slowly, poisoned like cas was. i’m guessing daigon has her own magic weapons that makes demons go poof! then

bluhbluhlbuhbluh okay that’s all bye

[iris-sistibly]

My thoughts about Kylie Padilla’s pregnancy rumor

Hi guys! Sorry I posted this first, I know you are expecting for my review about last night’s ep, don’t worry, it follow shortly after, I just had to write this to get this sh*t out of my head. 

So over the weekend, fans have gone crazy over DMR and Ms Suzette Doctolero’s post about one of the sang’gres dying in the next set of episodes, at first I thought, “Meh, Amihan and Pirena died in the original series, I’m pretty sure it’s just temporary.” And I have a feeling that it’s going to be Pirena (you know, character redemption and all). Then, came a nasty rumor about Amihan dying in the series due to Kylie’s pregnancy, blah, blah, blah. I was unconvinced, you see, Kylie’s been getting a lot of hate lately because of this whole YbraMihan thing and maybe it’s just the bashers’ ridiculous way of bringing her down. Then I read this blind item from an entertainment site with a questionable credibility about a young actress who got pregnant by her boyfriend, the couple just got back together and the girl is currently a part of a very popular TV show. If you have been following Kylie, or an avid fan of Encantadia, you can already make a guess that this young actress is Kylie Padilla, she just got back with Aljur Abrenica two years after their break-up. Of course I was shocked, but then again, it’s a blind item, and the website is something I am not familiar with. I checked on twitter, and my TL is flooded with all these #HuwagsiAmihan posts and a lot of people were even bashing Aljur and including #NotoAljur on their tweets, I was like, “wtf is going on?” nag offline lang ako saglit to give myself a break from my daily reviews and all and now this?! I checked PEP.ph and they already published an article about this whole pregnancy thing, I checked on Kylie and even Aljur’s Twitter accounts, even Enca’s official FB and twitter pages but they have said nothing about it. But the fans? Yes, they were all furious. There was just so much negativity in the YA fandom that I decided not to open my twitter or even check on any Encantadia-related pages, posts, etc. it was just so stressful and I don’t need stress, and I definitely don’t want negativity of all sorts. I checked on PEP for updates, then this article saying that “It’s confirmed: Kylie is pregnant” or something like that showed up and my jaw literally dropped, but then I always make it a habit to read the entire article first before making any comments or whatever, in the article it says that Kylie is three months pregnant, she and Aljur got back in September last year, blah, blah, blah “according to a reliable source,” and that’s when I started doubting this article. Especially when they said that the actors and the network hasn’t released any statement regarding this matter, and I was like, really PEP? REALLY? How can y’all say that it’s confirmed when neither Kylie nor Aljur said anything about it? But then again, PEP is “much more reliable” than any other websites, and the fact that Kylie has been hinting about leaving the show (based on her tweets) and her character seems to be waving “Avisala meiste” to other characters made me think that this could possibly be true. Otherwise, if the article is a hoax, why would Kylie prolong this issue? She could have just told them immediately that it wasn’t true, but, I am also giving the other side the benefit of the doubt as this could be a smart move to get people’s attention to keep the show at the top. I have to admit, even if the episode last night was truly one of the best, I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy knowing that the rumors could be true and Kylie leaving the show is just…well, a huge twist for the show. You guys know how much I love Amihan, she’s my favorite since 2005. If Kylie leaves the show, it will sure lead to many unanswered questions (like her connection with Lila Sari for example), and I feel like this will greatly affect the show, and worse, they could lose a large percentage of ratings and finally bring the entire show down, (Remember that Kylie is one of the cast members who have a large fan-base). Ybrahim and Alena died in the original trilogy but that was on the near-end chapter, and that was a more “acceptable version of a major character death.” This is definitely unacceptable, truly heartbreaking, and definitely hard to let go. But then again, y’all seriously need to calm down and stop bashing Aljur for goodness sake! IF THIS IS TRUE, then let’s just be happy for them. True, Kylie getting pregnant at the peak of her career is such a “waste,” and “bad timing” but you know, she’s a very good and passionate actress, she’s very talented, and I’m sure there will be a lot of opportunities that will come her way after Encantadia. Let’s try to see things positively, after all #EqualLoveforKyRu right? That means you are all willing to support Kylie and Ruru whether as a love team, or individually. Because that’s what I’m going to do, live up to this hashtag and live happily, after all, there is more to life than Encantadia.

[red-lion-of-voltron]

meme thing! All of them! Cause I'm evil and you brought it up XD

Dude, I am so ready xDD

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

If humming is counted, it was today in the car on the way to work. Actual singing was last weekend.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

I’d want to know long I’d live. Most people find this scary but I honestly don’t.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Battling my mental illness.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Watching the first Pokemon movie.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

No. I’m already anticipating death, whenever it’ll happen. 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Become a therapist/counsellor, go on holiday to Tokyo, ride a jet ski.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

My sister, @suddenlysombra. She’s my salt buddy, is doing a course in Games Design, an animal and nature lover, and totally rocks~

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

No, it was quite a sad one.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I think it was my sister, during the Christmas season because of frustration + dissatisfaction.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

The person who sent me this ask~! Because they’re a wonderful friend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Depends on how our conversation starts off and progresses.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

My sister, a few months back. We salt a lot together about stuff.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’m finding a way around this - I’d tell my sister that I’m leaving this world, hope to see her soon and to post on here and FB about my death so that other people also can be reached.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re meh. 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This quote gives me hope because it speaks to my dissatisfaction with just how imperfect this world is. All the sadness and hatred and bad stuff is not meant to be this way, and I believe in the life after this one where things would actually go perfectly, i.e. Heaven/eternal life. I cannot express how much I cannot wait to go there, and really hope I will. 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

“The Rain Doesn’t End, Till The Mist Takes Me Away” 

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Give most of it away. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I find it difficult to be forgiving. I remember how people treat me and if it’s bad treatment, I replay scenes in my head a fair bit. I don’t quite like being this way but it’s just so hard to not hold any bad actions against the people behind them.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

“Hey you. I’m Future You. Justwriting to say I’m so sorry pretty much everyone leaves. School sucks likenothing else, doesn’t it? I know you have no one you can consider a friend andnot just an acquaintance or peer, but you have plenty of friends in thefictional realm. All the Pokemon you are obsessed with are your friends. So isevery Disney character you’ve watched on a screen, and for that matter everysingle fictional character is your friend. You carry a piece of them insideyou. I’m your friend. And all of us are great company.” 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Punk because I dislike coming across as “soft”

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I’m indifferent towards both, but am perfectly fine with anyone who has them. 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Not a lot, because I feel it isn’t worth the time and effort.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Red is a band that has helped me so much in processing my anger - their sound is raw and powerful yet beautiful, almost like a beauty out of chaos kind of thing. Lots of meaningful lyrics too.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

“How many of you want to work 4 days a week, and have a 3-day weekend, instead of how it’s been for too long?”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

To be honest there’s no concert I’ve been to that I enjoyed - it’s more that I was dragged along or was bored so I went for it. I don’t like the crowding and the noise levels and am happy just listening to the songs on my own. 

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

Lmao, that would be Sebastian Stan, and I’d love him to say he’d love to meet in person sometime for a meal despite his crazy schedule, because he wants to get to know me better.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Yup. It’s not ridiculously organised but isn’t a tangled mess either.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

I work on passion projects or watch a film/episode. There’s the occasional dinner outing or cinema trip. 

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

They shall not get any grandkids from me. I don’t want to give them the satisfaction.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

Just some purple highlights, because it isn’t too drastic a change and would still look amazing.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

My siblings, @fragranceofroses, @vilcade and @ladyginoza xD I’d choose an amazing island spot in Thailand with sun and beaches, where we’d talk about memes and fandom and enjoy good food and each other’s company~!

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. More money so I can help more people without worrying about my own savings too much. 2. For Pokemon to be real, because the world would be far less boring and also happier. 3. For the sequels and additional seasons of my fave shows to exist (I’m eyeing you, Psycho Pass Season 3!!)

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

(Making one up) Going as Greedling from FMA. With one arm partially covered in his ultimate shield. 

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been drunk or high before.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill someone lol.

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Whoa. I’d pick a song and at this point it’d be “Gojintai e Futatabi” from the Kimi No Na Wa soundtrack. 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

I’ve only had crushes and have not been in a relationship. I’m not sure this qualifies…? As for having a crush, it’s thrilling and exciting.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I don’t think I’d rock short hair, so am aiming to keep it long forever. 

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Dark mocha frappucino. I’d trust most people to order it for me.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

That I’m not around my mum for most of each day because of my new job. Thank heavens.