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despiteherself · 4 years ago

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what ur favourite ahkj side character says about you:

pancho: you’re a furry

willie: your doctor is giving u free handout of adderall bc ur broke ass couldn’t afford it otherwise

ted: as a child you wanted to be a cowboy when you grew up before you realised you’re scared of horses

horst: you secretly like taylor swift

hector: httyd2 was your least favourite movie of all time and you want people to stop asking you about it

dorothy: you subscribe to men’s magazines and pretend they belong to your boyfriend/husband/male dog

xixi: you know all the lyrics to the pina colada song

dr. s: you are also a furry. are they called scalies if it’s a snake? is that’s what’s going on?

rob mctod: you have an embarrassing crush on your best friend & they WILL definitely think differently about you if you told them

timo: a jock literally gave you a swirly in high school

mary Ann: you have girlboss gaslight gatekeep in modern calligraphy on your living room wall

butterfish: you don’t even bother to crack the window when you’re smoking weed in your work’s bathroom and literally everyone knows what you’re doing in there for like half an hour Jesus Christ man, you’re lucky the manager thinks you’re cute

tammy: you bully children at the playground because you have no life outside of babysitting your nephew and you call it “character building” when the police are called for the fifth time this week

todd: your parents & your kindergarten teacher got you professional mental help because you always painted only in black but it was literally just because that was the only colour left at the end of the day when you remembered that you actually wanted to paint

karl: you get upset that your ninety five year old grandfather doesn’t know what anime is

chauncey: you make vague posts on twitter about how rude it is to reply “kill it with fire” to any non conventional pet because you’re too scared to call people out directly

bruce: you’re trying to get your friends into investing in bitcoin

Trent and whatever the other dolphin is called: ok but seriously no one’s fave is the dolphins

king shark: you need scocophobia tagged

tentacle: you think your posts of rupi kapur poetry and like screencaps from pride and prejudice are high art

hans: you haven’t heard of deodorant

crimson: you have deep worries about the state of the earth, and how everything feels like it’s going to shit but you’re so overwhelmed by the state of all you just sort of do nothing and then like order doordash for the fourth time this week because your vegan boyfriend has cooked tempeh and seaweed for dinner again.

pam: you think anyone agreeing with someone else online and they follow each other is like, a secret cult

king joey: your favourite movie is wallace and gromit

karen: you are married to your childhood sweetheart, have three kids and a nursing degree

masakura: you think phoebe from friends is underrated and won’t stop telling people that

sage moondancer: you think you’re special because butterflies are your favourite animal and give unsolicited commentary about how you think they scream whilst in their pupa and present it like a real scientific fact

koto: idk some trump voter joke. #mmga

the crocodile ambassador: once you found a monogrammed handkerchief whilst op-shopping and you’re convinced it’s got your initials on it but really there’s a clothes moth hole and a weird stitch that doesn’t fit in and you throw a tantrum whenever one of your friends point this out

princess amy: you want your pet japanese spitz to be instafamous and you bully all your friends into liking and sharing all the photos you post

andy fairfax: you tell everyone you meet a different back story because the Heath Ledger joker is your icon and you will get into a fistfight with anyone who liked Joaquin Phoenix’ portrayal better

fred the giant scorpion: no one will watch movies with you because they hate having to explain that not every movie is a documentary

zora: you have a subscription beauty box addition and you won’t admit you need help

uncle king julien: you’re a simp for henry winkler and u know what? i respect that

grandma rose: you see a buff woman and you stan

butterfly queen: you unironically post “just because I’m beautiful doesn’t mean I’m not fierce” posts whilst you’re getting a manipedi and think that’s peak femininsm

prince barty: you think James Bond is a real man

princess julienne: you get mad when people think you “had” a superwholock teaboo phase. you’re still in it, it’s just called a dark academica now >:(

julien the terrible: as a child your friends dared you to eat a millipede and you did it but then they all called you millipede-breath and laughed about it and told everyone, and so you planned a years long revenge plan that you’re still slowly finalising to this day

becca: you have like ten brothers and you have to beat them at literally everything. you punch harder, spit farther, yell louder.

abner: you’re trying out a new clothing style and are disappointed that no ones noticed you look different

magic steve: you get mad when people can’t pick out the 42 ingredients you out into a soup you overpowered with garlic

brodney: you’re that sibling that’s like at least 10 years younger than your siblings so you know you were definitely a mistake and No! Of course it doesn’t affect you in any way! How dare anyone suggests that!

stanislove: you’re obsessed with the space race and goddamn i am SO damn sick of hearing about it

any of the pirates: you’re like 13

maggie the unwashed: you are literally 13 and you think fart jokes is peak humour

pineapple: you are allergic to strawberries and if you hear “oh, like pepper potts?” one more time you will commit murder and that just can’t happen because if you’re arrested then they’ll finally catch you for tax fraud

shrimp cocktail: your meat is huge

watermelon hawking: in your spare time you ponder the inner workings of the universe because you think it makes you seem very smart but the truth is no one literally has any idea what you’re thinking about so it’s not actually doing anything to impress anyone? if you’re gonna be like that why not at least ask fake deep questions to make sure everyone knows you think you’re big brained and you’re sure your name will be in history books.

wickman wilderbeast: once you beat an old lady at arm wrestling and you won’t let anyone forget

#not counting the four core & every single version of mort #also they have to have a name & king Joey is my limit of the rats ok #if I forget anyone rip there’s too many characters #I definitely have forgotten characters but ok #I’m tired it’s late #ahkj #shitpost #pot post

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snarkybluechristian · 4 years ago

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Hazbin Hotel: Yandere Alastor x Vaggie Chapter 34

After a long day of making dull preparations, the night of the auction finally came.

Alastor and Vaggie stood at the bottom of the stone staircase that led to his front door to greet the guests, the overlords and kingpins and important people of Hell that he invited to his auction, while Rosie was inside tending to Angel’s last minute needs and welcoming the incoming guests.

Vaggie stood there against her will, arm-in-arm with Alastor.

Cars and vehicles from every era stopped at Alastor's front porch. The variety was impressive as were the guests inside. Over 100 kingpins and a small number of Ovelords from throughout history began arriving, demons of every size and every nationality.

Meanwhile, the deer familiars and shadow creatures attended the guests and kept watch for anyone who was unwelcome.

None of that impressed Vaggie. She stared through the kingpins and overlords as they walked by, wondering how she could help Angel.

Alastor did most of the greeting while Vaggie stood in silence. He was too occupied with his guests to notice.

Vaggie didn't begin paying attention until a flash of light struck her eyes. And then another.

“Oh, my God! It’s Alastor’s bride! I would have never believed it if I didn’t see it myself. Come on, pretty darlin’! Give us a pose!” said a hyper and cheerful voice.

Vaggie blocked her eyesight from the flashes, and as her vision adjusted, she saw a slim female demon with grey-brown skin in pigtails and an old-fashioned dress that made her look like a giant doll. After another moment, Vaggie recognized this demoness as the overlord Velvet with the TV-headed Vox standing right beside her.

Despite knowing their reputations, Vaggie simply glared at them both.

Velvet ignored the glare and snapped another photo.

“Oh, I love that angry expression on your face,” Velvet cheered as she snapped more photos. “Come on. Give me that glare! Show me all your hatred now! Now, let’s have a selfie!”

Velvet put her arm around Vaggie and held up her phone to take a selfie, but before she could snap the photo, Vaggie slapped the phone out of her hands causing it to fall towards the stone steps. A large hand caught the phone and handed it back to Velvet.

Vaggie looked up to see Vox, the television demon. Alastor looked upon the scene and let go of Vaggie.

“To her, Vaggie,” Alastor said.

“Hey!” Velvet protested. “What was that for?!”

Vaggie shot Velvet a nasty glare and snarled, “I don’t want to be photographed anymore. Leave me alone!”

“Excuse me!” Velvet replied with an arrogant and bemused smile as she approached the angry moth demon. “Honey, just who do you think you are? Just because you’re attached to an overlord doesn’t mean you don’t owe us any respect. So, I suggest you drop the attitude before…”

“Velvet,” Alastor interrupted calmly as he took Vaggie’s arm in his. “If my future wife doesn’t want to be photographed, my future wife will not be photographed. You will not disrespect her, or I will be asking you to leave the auction.”

Velvet relented and turned away to pout next to Vox.

“Alastor,” Vox said.

“Vox,” Alastor replied. “How nice to see you.”

Vox scoffed and retorted, “Now, that’s a first.”

“You should know how love changes a man, Vox,” Alastor replied hugging Vaggie closer while she growled unnoticed.

“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d decide to marry, especially not to this pretty little doll. She’s far too pretty and spirited for you,” Vox said, reaching his hand out to Vaggie. “Come on, sweetheart. Take my hand.”

Vaggie looked at his hand, looked at his face, and said, “Fuck off.”

Alastor burst out in laughter and held Vaggie tighter, “Oh, Vaggie! That’s why I love you.”

Even Velvet chuckled in the background. Vox simply stood up straight and stewed with his wounded pride.

“You two are perfect for each other,” Vox replied passive aggressively.

“Speaking of which, where is Valentino this evening?” Alastor said, letting Vaggie go to wipe tears from his eyes. “I take it that he did not ride here with you.”

“If you must know, he had some business to take care of, so we rode in separate limos,” Vox said, before a sadistic smirk appeared across his face. “But I should warn you. Valentino ain’t happy. Infringing on an overlord’s contract and stealing the soul of a contractee are ballsy moves even for you, especially considering that contractee was Valentino’s number one moneymaker.”

“You say that like I should be concerned,” Alastor replied with a chuckle.

“ALASTOR!” a loud voice echoed across the courtyard.

Everyone at the top of the stairs looked over to see Valentino storming out of his limo. Every fist was clenched, his teeth were grating, and his eyes were settled into a fiery glare.

Alastor pushed Vaggie behind him just before Valentino grabbed the collar of Alastor’s coat and screamed, “I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO FIND ANGEL’S SOUL MISSING! I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO STOLE IT, YOU DEER-FACED MOTHERFUCKER!”

Alastor smirked, tilted his head to the side, and said, “Now, Valentino, you’re the one who lost the auction. Being a sore loser is not going to help anything.”

A laugh track played around them as Valentino dropped Alastor to the ground in front of him.

“You underhanded son-of-a-bitch!” Valentino retorted. “First, you kidnap Angel and break almost all his bones! Then, you refuse to hand him over to me or even let me buy him back because ‘I wouldn’t make him miserable enough’ whatever the fuck that means!’ Then, just to add insult to injury, you steal his soul and nullify our contract?! You’re fucking stupid if you think I’m gonna let you get away with this!”

Without batting an eye, Alastor chuckled maliciously and said, “You don’t have a choice, my good man. You neither have anything I want or anything with which you can threaten me into changing my mind…”

“But that’s where you’re wrong,” Valentino interrupted. “I know about the deal you have made with the princess regarding her precious hotel. It would be all to easy to destroy. Believe you me. So, either you give Angel back or me and my boys will be forced to destroy the Happy Hotel…”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” Vaggie cried angrily. “If you even look at Charlie, I’ll tear you to fucking shreds!”

“What she said,” Alastor added.

Valentino looked over at Vaggie in surprise at first and then with an amused smile on his face.

“So, you’re Alastor’s new squeeze?” Valentino replied, allowing his angry demeanor to relax. “Congratulations.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Vaggie replied, narrowing her eyes and balling her fists, causing Alastor to cackle out loud.

“Charming,” Valentino replied sarcastically before turning back to Alastor who had regained his composure. “This is no laughing matter, Alastor. Angel is my number one star!”

“You mean number one sex slave?” Vaggie retorted angrily.

Valentino scoffed, leaned down to Vaggie’s eye level, and said, “What you call a slave, I call a star. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me at your hotel…”

“I heard enough,” Vaggie interrupted. “Angel told me everything about you and what you did to him.”

Valentino scoffed again and replied, “Oh, really? What did he tell you about me?”

SLAP!

Vaggie slapped Valentino across his face, knocking off his glasses and causing Vox and Velvet to gasp in shock.

“That you groomed him, abused him, and turned him into your own personal boy toy!” Vaggie snarled. “You’re a monster!”

Instead of lashing back, Valentino picked up his glasses, put them back on, stood up straight, stared down at Vaggie with a condescending smile on his face, and replied, “That’s what Angel is. Isn’t he? He made the contract with me. If he isn’t happy, Angel has no one to blame but himself.”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKING…Hey!” Vaggie screeched as she attempted to strike Valentino again only for Alastor to pull her back next to his side.

“Now, now, Vaggie, that’s enough,” Alastor said holding his bride against his chest. “You need to watch your temper.”

Vaggie squirmed out of his grip and retorted, “You can fuck right off!”

Valentino snickered at the scene and flashed another condescending smirk as he playfully twiddled his fingers in front of Vaggie’s face and said, “Ooh, you’ve got yourself a fiery little lady there, Alastor.”

Vaggie attempted to bite down on Valentino’s fingers, but Alastor held his hand over her mouth and pulled her back again.

“Vaggie, dear, I must ask you to calm yourself,” Alastor said, using both arms to hold back his angry and snarling bride.

“Or what?!” Vaggie snarled.

“Well…” said Alastor as he turned Vaggie around, held his hands on top of Vaggie’s bare shoulders, and flashed a devilish smile. “I will order Angel’s family to give him extra therapy.”

Valentino’s expression changed from bemusement to intrigued as he said, “Angel’s family. Is that who you sold him to?”

Vaggie growled angry at both the sons-of-bitches standing in front of her.

Just then, to make matters worse, Henroin and Arackniss climbed out of their limo and walked up the stairs.

Vaggie directed her angry glare away from the two overlords and over to the two spider demons approaching them.

“Good evening, Alastor,” Arackniss said, having reached the top of the stairs first.

Alastor smiled and greeted him back, “Good evening, Spider Family. Are you two ready to pick up your item?”

Henroin reached the top of the stairs and replied, “Not quite yet. We can take Anthony home after the auction. Arackniss and I wanted to stick around to enjoy food and see what other items you were bidding on. Is that alright?”

“Of course,” Alastor said grandly gesturing to the door behind him. “Come on in and make yourselves at home.”

“Wait,” Valentino interrupted. “You’re Angel’s Family?”

“Yeah,” Arackniss replied, looking apathetically into the eyes of the much taller overlord. “What’s it to ya?”

Vaggie began trembling in anger only for her fiancé to hold her back against his waist once more.

Valentino’s demeanor instantly changed as an opportunistic smile flashed across his face.

“Don Henroin…” Valentino said.

“Yes?” Henroin replied.

“You know who I am. Don’t you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, I was wondering if there was any way you could be persuaded to give me your son. As an overlord, I am well-connected, so I promise I could make it worth your while…”

“No,” Henroin interrupted.

Valentino paused, looking absolutely stunned.

Arackniss shrugged and said, “I’m going inside. Dad and I will let you know when we’re ready to see my little brother.”

“Wait, he’s your little brother?” Valentino replied.

Arackniss rolled his eyes, tipped his hat to Alastor and Vaggie, and said, “Good evening, doll,” to Vaggie as he passed by them, Vox, and Velvet and entered the manor.

Valentino immediately turned back to Henroin and said, “Sir, your son is quite the performer. He’s my number one star in fact. Wouldn’t it be more profitable to the both of us if you shared your son with me? I’d be willing to split half the profits I earn from his work with you. What do you say?”

Valentino reached out a hand only for Henroin to scoff and say, “We’re not keeping him gay…”

“Why not?” Valentino asked in surprise. “It’s so good for business.”

“I don’t care about your business,” Valentino replied walking past Henroin and his two friends. “We’re turning my son into a full-functioning member of the family. We ain’t letting him stay as he is. After his doctor gives him his treatment, my son’s going to be normal whether he likes it or not.”

Valentino followed Henroin into the manor followed by Vox and Velvet and shouted after him, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”

Vaggie growled angrily wondering how she was going to help Angel, but her expression changed as she noticed another spider. This one was a woman, completely pink with a heart on her bosom, striped on her limbs, poofy hair, and a black dress over her body.

Alastor cocked his head in confusion and asked, “And who might you be, young lady? You look awfully familiar. Did you come here with anyone?”

“The name’s Molly,” the spider demoness replied. “My Dad and my brother just walked in ahead of me.”

“Oh!” Alastor exclaimed. “You’re part of the Spider family! That certainly explains the resemblance! I didn’t realize Angel had a sister…”

“I’m his twin,” Molly interrupted determinedly taking another step towards Alastor. “Where is my brother?”

Vaggie looked at her attentively without saying a word.

“Why, he’s with the other items,” Alastor replied. “But don’t worry, my dear. You’ll get to see him.”

Molly blinked her large eyes, puffed out her lips, and asked sadly, “Is there any way I might see him now, Mr. Alastor, sir?”

Completely unphased, Alastor replied, “Later, my dear.”

“Your brother’s in trouble!” Vaggie managed to get out before Alastor pulled her more closely to his side and gave her a reprimanding glance.

“I know,” Molly replied quietly. “You must be Vaggie…”

“Indeed, she is,” Alastor interrupted, taking Vaggie’s arm and practically dragging her to the front door. “Now, come along, my lovely ladies. All the guests have arrived and it is time to begin the dinner!”

Vaggie and Molly shared one more nervous glance before Molly nervously followed Vaggie and Alastor inside.

#hazbin hotel fanfic

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masaru2042 · 6 years ago

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King of the Monsters is the Best Season of Game of Thrones Ever!

When I came out of the theater, I hadn't had warm and fuzzies about a movie in...I can't tell you how long. And this movie gave me warm and fuzzies. And this is despite the nay-sayers and the idiot critics who are slamming this movie. Just a little FYI here, Godzilla beat out Aladdin for the #1 spot. Godzilla pimp-slapped the Mouse into second place opening weekend. And I approve of this.

But despite all the critics REEEEING over Godzilla and calling it garbage, I'm gonna tell you this movie is awesome and is worth your money. And if you have a $5 dollar Tuesday like me because you have a Cinemark Cinema in your town...and you're worried about shelling out too much money for something you think you might not like...go see it on Tuesday, pay the 5 bucks, and then see why I said it's worth every cent. And then go back and see it again full price if you want to.

So like any review I've done, usually I review a movie that I found bad and wanna shit all over it. It is my thing, after all. I mean see what all I've said about Godzilla Final Wars and everyone got pissy at me for hating on Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and why I said I like GMK so much better...

And of course me shitting on Minya every time I mention Godzilla, because I hate that shit stain...I'm gonna actually give a positive review.

I mean the last movie review I did was Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and...well...

It’s safe to say I really hated that movie.

But this one, I didn’t.

Just remember, this movie is worth every cent of your money. You did it! You did it, Hollywood! You finally made a REAL GODZILLA MOVIE! COMPLETE WITH THE ACTUAL GODZILLA THEME SONG! And the Blue Oyster's Go, Go, Godzilla at the end. And yes, there's even Mothra's theme song. And I was singing it during the movie. To anyone out there who said it couldn't be done...Cough-Steven Spielberg-Cough...we did it! America has finally made a real Godzilla movie! You also made the first Godzilla movie that actually gave a proper jump scare...and Godzilla was the one who did it, and I actually jumped! 10/10! You made me jump at a jump scare and I don't usually jump at jump scares. And yes, there was one, and it's at the beginning but...it's good. First Godzilla movie to have a genuine jump scare that actually made me jump. Thank you, movie! So, how does it start out. Well, it starts out in 2014 and we're following a family called the Russel Family. No sign of the Brody family, but that's probably because they finally got eaten by sharks because...JAWS, damn it! And also the Brody family was dull, save for Brian Cranston, and why the fuck didn't G2014 keep Brian Cranston in there? Anyway, we have Mark Russel, Emma Russel, and their daughter Madison Russel...who is played by the actress from Stranger Things...Millie Bobby Brown. I'm gonna refer to her as Eleven from here on out because that's who I know her the most as. And yes, next month, Stranger Things is coming back to Netflix, and I'm gonna be watching that. There's also Eleven's little brother, but he only appears in photographs because he ended up getting squashed by Godzilla's foot in San Francisco...so...I'm not gonna bother to learn his name. Interesting to note, the actor who plays Mark...played Bruce Baxter from King Kong 2005. But I barely recognize him...so, he doesn't get a quirky name. We do have Ken Watanabe returning as Ishiro Serizawa. Who I suspect is actually the sun of Daisuke Serizawa...though Daisuke is a completely different kind of person in the MonsterVerse than what he was in the original Gojira.

Okay, so, we cut to about 5 years later, so 2019 and we meet up with Eleven and her mom and El is contacting her dad who is not with them. He's studying wolves. And they have a little email convo, Dad's worried about his wife, El is worried about Dad, and so on. And I like how they build things up here because we don't realize that Eleven and her mom are in China studying Mothra's egg. Until we hear Mothra's call, and yes it is very recognizable. I suspect that there weren't veteran Godzilla fans like myself in the theater with me, so, pretty much every fan moment in this movie was something I would recognize but would mostly fall flat on most viewers. The monster calls and the music. Except for King Ghidorah's call...they were trying to do his call but...to be honest, it sounded like a bad mix of Heisei Ghidorah and the version they used in Final Wars. With a little Showa in there. The most perfect Ghidorah call was done in GMK. It made him sound powerful, big, and kept the iconic call. However, King Ghidorah's design looks rather interesting. It's more of an updated version of Heisei Ghidorah than any of the other Ghidorahs. Even more interesting is that the three heads all have their own separate personalities. How can I explain them? This fan art done by Michael J Larson just might help.

I present to you, Moe, Larry, and Curly. Legendary turned King Ghidorah into the Three Stooges. And here's the funny bit, Moe is the middle head, while Curly is the one on the right, and Larry is the one on the left. And just like in Three Stooges fashion, Moe hates Curly a lot. He even bops Curly a few times to pretty much make a point on just who these thee heads represent.

Rodan's call didn't sound much like Rodan's call either, but, I'm not a big Rodan fan, so I forgave it.

So, Eleven and Mom here goes down into a cave where Mothra's egg is so they can witness Mothra being born. And of course call the giant moth-like creature...Mothra. Because yeah. We need to state that. Complete with Mothra's theme!

Well Mom's got a gadget that seems to be able to create a signal that makes the monster docile, and lo and behold it works! And then Tywin Lannister shows up!

This is Charles Dance's character Alan Jonah...you know, like the whale...however, I'm gonna stick with Tywin Lannister. Because that's who he is! Well, Tywin kidnaps mom and Eleven. Tywin actually is trying to be a little nice to Eleven, even making a silly face at her. Which I thought was cute. Until she flipped Tywin off...because yes, Eleven can do that to Tywin! She's probably the only person who can flip Tywin Lannister the bird! Anyone else would have been beheaded.

Apparently Tywin now runs an eco-terrorist group who are a bunch of nihilists. And they wanna release King Ghidorah for the purpose of ending the suffering that man has caused the planet. So...Anime Godzilla Xaliens? Really, Tywin? The Dragon has three heads, but apparently you merely wanted to end the Targaryan dynasty just to set up the new Ghidorah dynasty. Well, to tell you the truth, King Ghidorah would make a better ruler than Bran the Broken, so he has my vote on that. Honestly, this whole movie is like the best Game of Thrones climax ever! With a little Stranger Things mixed in for good measure.

And King Ghidorah...or rather Ghidorah as they call him in the movie...is actually located in Antarctica. Because of course he is. How did he get there? We don't know. He is a space monster just like he usually is, and he also wants to fuck over everything on planet Earth, like usual. But this time...it's him doing it, and not someone controlling him...or rather...that device they call Orca sends out a call at first controls him, but the he's like "Naw, man, I'm my own boss." And really fucks over Tywin's plans. Because King Ghidorah at least listened to Olena Tyrell's suggestion of "Be a Dragon." And he pretty much shows how much he is a dragon, rather than what Danaerys did until the very last minute. Yes, I won't stop the Game of Thrones comparisons, shut up! So, apparently, Ghidorah has the Queen of Thorns on his side and she's been talking into his ear more than Mamma Russel's Orca's machine has. And to show Olena how much of a dragon he is, King Ghidorah eats a few humans as he is freed.

No, I'm serious, King Ghidorah eats people! Olena would be proud.

He also doesn't listen to Tywin Lannister. And neither did Aerys, but that's only because Aerys didn't want Cercei to marry Rhaegar. So, Tywin pretty much gave that dragon a middle finger and decided to get with another three headed dragon...a literal three headed dragon, and they're gonna fuck up the planet, yo! Until Olena Tyrell started talking to King Ghidorah about playing the Game of Thrones, and now King Ghidorah uses his magic monster call to literally "Call the Banners!" I'm fucking serious! There is a reason why the Game of Thrones references will not stop! King Ghidorah pulls a Rob Stark and turns to Maester Lewin.

King Ghidorah: "Maester Lewin..."

Lewin: "Yes, your Grace."

King Ghidorah: "Call the banners."

Lewin: "All of them?"

King Ghidorah: "All of them."

And the ravens fly!

Meanwhile, Daddy Russel got wind of his wife and daughter being kidnapped, as well as Orca being used to summon King Ghidorah and well, he seems to have a big beef with the monsters in general. Apparently, he has a bone to pick with Godzilla for the death of his son. And he wants to Inigo Montoya Godzilla's ass. The problem is, he's about the size of Godzilla's talon, so I don't think that duel is gonna work very well. However, it's here where we get to the jump scare that works and why I loved it. You see, in this scene, we're in an underwater Monarch base where they discuss what they want to do with Godzilla. Russel is on the "let's kill the bastard" boat along with the American military, and Serizawa is more on the boat of...we becoming Godzilla's adopted children in which he protects from other threats out there. Or rather...his pets. Which of course doesn't go very well over with the Americans. Because...

youtube

You honestly think we're gonna be Godzilla's little pet humans, Serizawa? HELL NO!

But I chock that up to poor translation since English isn't Serizawa's first language. And maybe that came out wrong. Anyhoo...yeah, Godzilla's pets. No. I like you, big guy, but I ain't gonna be your cat.

So, while we're in this underwater base, Godzilla decides to show up! And they start pointing their guns at him...which kinda pisses him off. While Russel here hates Godzilla, even he knows it's not wise to go and pick a fight with him without a plan, so he even tells the guys to stand down, which they do. And then we have a moment where Godzilla slowly inches close to the glass and Russel and the King of the Monsters have some kind of moment. And to tell you the truth, it's a better moment than what we had with Brody and Godzilla. Well, Godzilla at first slinks back into the darkness...and everything seems fine. And this is where the jump scare happens. They don't draw it out to where you expect a jump scare to happen, like...most jump scares do. That's how you know it's a bad jump scare, they draw it out for so long that you know it's gonna jump out and get you. You're just waiting for it to happen. Here? Nope, the moment you think everything is okay, Godzilla jump scares you by just suddenly swimming by the glass.

And that's it.

And I did not expect it at all!

That's how you jump scare people! Again, this shows why Godzilla is King of the Jump Scares! There is no lingering shot, there is no "he's still there, he's still there, he's still there...he's still there..." It just comes right out of nowhere like a jump scare does. And I did jump. So again, good work, movie.

And I will say I like Russel as well. Yeah, he's in the "I hate Godzilla and I wanna see him dead" boat, but it's not taken to ridiculous extremes like you'd think it would be. He's smart, he knows when to fold them if he has to, which in Godzilla movies...is a good thing. You see, Godzilla movies tend to have characters like Russel be so over the top moronic in their hatred...you just wanna skip right over them and get to the monster fight. Russel is not one of these characters. His wife on the other hand...is an idiot, and I might as well address her.

She's flawed, and I'm glad we have for once a flawed female character in a world of female protagonists have to be perfect awesome people so that the feminazis can relate to them.

Apparently, the SJWs didn't really affect this movie much, and I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I had one guy tell me how he hated that Ghidorah wasn't called King and that he wasn't really a he...but an it. But I had to remind him that pretty much that's all the monsters. Including Godzilla. And Ghidorah's first movie was Ghidorah the Three-headed Monster in which this movie is a bit of a remake of. But not quite. In fact, I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a remake of that movie. Right down to Eleven being maybe a person possessed by some supernatural being who wanted to warn everyone about King Ghidorah's coming. She wasn't at all. I half expected Tywin to be some guy trying to assassinate her and he wasn't. And I thought Rodan would team up with Mothra and Godzilla against King Ghidorah after Mothra smacked their asses around and talked about friendship and the heart of the cards and shit, but he didn't and neither did Mothra. Mothra was on Godzilla's side, but not Rodan. Rodan was on King Ghidorah's side! He was one of the banners Ghidorah had Maester Lewin send a raven to. And another one of those ravens went to Nevada of all places and to...and I'm shocked to say this...Kumonga! Yes, our giant spider from the 60's Showa era has returned in the American reboot! And much like his Final Wars counterpart, he decided to be in the American Southwest. Maybe he liked Cowboys or something. We also had a giant mammoth creature rising out of Wyoming. And another MUTO. Why, Legendary? Why another MUTO? I guess we needed to reuse an asset or something. Well, it wouldn't be a Godzilla movie if we didn't. So...you're checking off the marks here, Legendary. We even have stock footage in the form of clips! They are checking off all the Showa marks!

So, while King Ghidorah is flying around in a hurricane he created (totally awesome) and telling Lewin to call his Banners, we suddenly find out that Mamma Russel was actually the mastermind behind this whole "the Dragon has Three Heads" thing. Yeah, Tywin Lannister wasn't the guy in charge, it was Ma Russel. And she managed to convince Eleven that this is for the well being of mankind. You see, she wants the monsters to basically cull the humans and our evil technology, and return the world to a more peaceful time where we were subsistence farmers worshiping giant monsters as gods? Because that was a more peaceful time?

And this is why she's an idiot. And her ideas is batshit crazy! The world has never been more at peace now than any other era. I'm not kidding about that. Yeah, we're polluting the planet, and we need to cut back our carbon footprint, but to be honest here...the planet was much warmer during the time of the Dinosaurs than it is currently NOW. And while I've touted about the lessons of the P-T Extinction Event, aka the Great Dying, in which a flood basalt in Siberia started an out of control greenhouse that resulted in nearly 90% of all life on the planet dying, including the life in the oceans, and set our planet in a biological to be resetted in a way...and that was caused by just the temperature rising on top of all the nasty gasses put into the atmosphere by said flood basalt...I don't think that just going back to subsistence farming is gonna solve the problem, lady. In fact, it's stated even if we just stop all the polluting now, the damage has already been done. There is no stopping it. And NO! Suddenly causing the entire planet to just become more radioactive is not gonna solve your problem either. She honestly believed that radiation is some miracle grow fertilizer. When, no it isn't. And Carl Sagan can tell you why! Did you not listen to Threads? Did you not watch that movie, lady? I feel like I need to sit you and Final Wars Godzilla down and you both watch that movie together to see why just pumping a bunch of radiation into the atmosphere is not gonna help things. Final Wars Godzilla needs to learn that we understand the message of nuclear war. Threads has told us that. And you, you moronic bitch, need to learn the lesson of radiation will make farming HARDER!

And apparently for a scientist, she's never heard of the Red Forest of Chernobyl.

If you want to know what it looks like to an entire ecosystem when it's been bombarded by radiation...just radiation alone...

See those red trees? That is caused by massive amounts of radiation being released upon a forest.

Again, I prove why I know more about radiation than anyone who makes a Godzilla movie. But this time, I will forgive it because this lady is actually stupid and everyone else is far more intelligent in regards to dealing with radiation. Seriously, how did this woman get a doctorate in which she ended up working for an organization built to study monsters from a time when the Earth was "more radioactive" as it's was stated in this universe's past? And unless you wanna die from cancer or bleeding out your ass, you need to sit your ass down and shut the fuck up. But thank god this woman is basically the villain and a stupid one at that. Even Tywin Lannister got tired of her shit. And Eleven just figured out her mother is a loon.

Basically, Tywin Lannister makes more sense than crazy lady, because well, he at least just wants to release the monsters and wipe out humanity as a whole. In which the radiation will certainly do that. So, he's pretty much on the bar on the consequences of what will actually happen more than the idiot bitch. He just wants to make it happen because he's seen enough evidence of what humans are like, and he's tired of it. Which I can respect. Not the whole genocide thing, but the whole...I'm not doing this to "save humanity from itself thing" like crazy moron had pretty much talked herself into...to the point of stupidity and forgetting what radiation actually will do to humans and the ecosystem. Sure, maybe the ecosystem was actually more hardy against radiation in this universe than in our own...but still...that doesn't resolve the issue that TODAY'S plants and animals are not hardy against it! Well our Monarch heroes show up to where Rodan was popping out of that volcano like in the trailer, and we finally get to the first fight. Monarch leads Rodan to the storm and King Ghidorah, hoping to just have the two fight...but they don't. Because Rodan is on Ghidorah's side. So, it's up to Godzilla to take this false king down. And he does! He literally pulls a Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and decapitates Ghidorah's head!

Well...the United States has a plan to finally put all three monsters down and it's....

The Oxygen Destroyer

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Okay, this is where I'm gonna have to gripe. Because this thing is the single most stupid idea ever! But at least it does have a pay off in the stinger at the end when everyone basically states that the Gulf of Mexico is now devoid of fish. However, the existence of this weapon in this movie is uncalled for. But I suppose it's meant to set up the scene where Serizawa decides to sacrifice himself to bring Godzilla back onto the field. And to be honest, it's not needed. King Ghidorah could just be enough to knock Godzilla out for a few rounds while he goes on his little mayhem run and Serizawa can still sacrifice his life to revive Godzilla from that horrid beating. You don't need this thing in this movie, guys! You don't! You put it in there because you had that little teaser a few years back showing the Oxygen Destroyer in an old Monarch location and people were speculating it. So, you had to give us something.

And people wonder why my Game of Thrones references are happening in this review...because...this is Clegane Bowl, people. This is Clegane Bowl and how stupid Dumb and Dumber made it. It comes out of nowhere because the fans were expecting it, and you didn't even bother to set it in the Dragon pits and fill it to the brim with chickens. We are disappointed with you!

However, I did get a laugh out of it. Military guy: "We have this weapon we've been developing. It's called the Oxygen Destroyer! We're gonna use it on these monsters."

Thanks, America, you just killed all the fish in the Gulf. You morons!

And it didn't work on King Ghidorah because he's an alien. Tell Kiryuu Knight that! He managed to stick his Oxygen Destroyer into King Ghidorah and it worked like magic.

However, I will say that you're not the only ones who did something stupid with the Oxygen Destroyer, Legendary. Kiryuu did to in Halo 3 Different. He had the thing with him, took it to High Charity, and then forgot that he had it. Yeah, I'm capable of my idiot moments in writing as well. But I noticed that no reader really noticed the Oxygen Destroyer was even mentioned in that story...so, can't complain.

Well the Oxygen Destroyer also didn't really kill Godzilla, however it did wound him enough that he retreated to the bowels of the Earth to recover. Basically Hollow Earth theory. Or rather, not really. They call it Hollow Earth Theory, but it really isn't. I know Hollow Earth Theory because I love poking fun at morons who claim stupid shit. Hollow Earth Theory looks like this.

See that? That's a sun instead of a molten core. This is the theory touted by racists like Hitler and Lewis Farakhan. The thing the MonsterVerse came up with is more like...the crust is made out of Swiss cheese. Rather than the Earth being hollow. Basically, the Earth is Tennessee. Tennessee's crust is made out of Swiss cheese, and now these guys applied that to the entire planet. But no, the Earth isn't really hollow in the MonsterVerse, not the way the actual Hollow Earth Theory states. And that has been my biggest problem with the nomenclature they use for this theory in this universe. but I guess Swiss cheese Earth didn't really catch on as good as Hollow Earth. So Godzilla falls through one of these Swiss cheese holes and King Ghidorah regrows his head. Holy shit! However, I noticed, to regrow his head, he had to be sitting on a volcano with his storm raging over him. So...he's drawing power from somewhere to regrow that head, which is why he probably can't regrow his entire body from a single severed head in the totally not gonna make Mecha-King Ghidorah with Tywin Lannister as the pilot stinger. And he's calling his banners.

So this is where we have our Serizawa sacrifice scene. They go into one of the Swiss cheese holes after Mothra in her full glory appears and starts raining down her prettiness on top of the water to guide them to where Godzilla is...complete with her theme of course...and the guys find out some very ancient ruins of a civilization long gone. These ruins appear to be a hodgepodge of Egyptian, Mesoamerican, Mesopotamian, Eutruscan, Celtic creation. Why are they down there, why haven't we seen these things before, and is this the Lost City of Atlantis...I'm banking it's Atlantis. And the Atlantians worshiped Godzilla...before they all moved to Georgia and built the greatest airport mankind has ever seen.

It's all connected, I tell you!

LAX has nothing on Atlanta!

And the closer to where Godzilla is sleeping, the more radioactive it becomes. They decide to deliver a nuke to him to wake him up because nukes feed Godzilla. But the battle with Rodan and King Ghidorah damaged the sub's launching bay and they have to deliver it manually. So Serizawa draws the short straw, gives Papa Russel his notes on Godzilla, and decides to go in and give Godzilla the pick me up he needs. But not before Serizawa boops the Goji snoot. Which is cute. And going back to think on it. At least Serizawa gave Godzilla much deserved pats. Because he's a good boi, damn it! Unlike Jon who...only gave Ghost pats at the last second!

Why you so mean, Jon?!

It seems Godzilla is very much aware of our existence. As he's shown even in the 2014 film to notice those tiny ants under his feet. He is very much aware of the humans, and even after he awakens...to the sound of this...

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Since when did we import Akira Ifukube into this thing?

Okay, are you trying to show how awesome you are to us G-fans, movie, because we get it! We get it! You are awesome. Thank you for that.

Alright, so Goji theme going on and Godzilla starts heading to where King Ghidorah is.

Meanwhile, Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions along with crazy bitch and Eleven are in Boston of all places. While King Ghidorah is making a mess out of Washington DC.

But he is making a mess out of the place and according to the scientists, he's also trying to reformat the planet to suit his needs. In Boston, Eleven decides to steal the Orca and head into Red Sox Stadium. She hooks it up to the massive broadcaster speakers to signal to King Ghidorah to come to Boston. And it works. Unfortunately. Godzilla also gets that signal and he heads for it too. Papa Russel then gets the idea of rather than letting the Gods duke it out in the Red Sox stadium, it's probably time for the humans to show Godzilla that they are on his team. And so...by the power of Akira Ifukue...Godzilla and Monarch charge into battle. And no, not kidding about that either. They charge in with Godzilla's theme song playing in the background. And yes, Godzilla knows they are on his team. You can tell. You can seriously tell. Godzilla is surrounded by military planes and he's like "These guys are with me!"

I'm literally getting Godzilla vs. Hedorah vibes from this because Godzilla and the military actually did team up to defeat Hedorah. And not only that, but Godzilla acknowledged humans several times in that movie. And yes, this movie is actually dedicated to Banno, who was the director of Godzilla vs. Hedorah. So, I approve. And so would he. And it's explained in the movie why Godzilla recognizes the humans as his allies. The Orca's signal is not only mixed with the call of an alpha "titan" as the kaiju are called in the movie, but also the voice of humans. Because we're the alpha predators of this planet! So, Godzilla, obviously hearing not only that sound, but also seeing human dominance all over the place has pretty much recognized humanity as a partner species. And apparently he also recognizes Mothra as a fellow partner species that helps him keep the order, so he now has "imprinted" that status onto humans as well. We're not his pets, Serizawa, we're his partner. I knew the Serizawa's English was off on that. But it reaches the coexistence he is trying to achieve. Mothra also joins the fight, but a bit later when Rodan starts fucking Godzilla's shit over. Meanwhile, Godzilla is building up for a finishing move on Ghidorah...and because of that, there's a timer. Papa Russel wants to go in and save Eleven before that timer runs out. And I'm suspecting Godzilla knows this because he's actually holding back a bit. It's severely hinted that Godzilla knows this. At least to me it is. Like Russel shot Godzilla a message or something.

Russel: "Can you keep that thing busy, Godzilla? I gotta save my daughter!"

Godzilla: "Sure, but not for long. I'll give you 10 minutes, tops! But after that, I gotta unleash this nuclear pulse, or else I might blow myself up if I don't."

Russel: "Ten minutes! Got it!"

Again, not that I mind, but Eleven has Arya Stark plot armor, so...she'll be fine. However, the plot armor is a staple of Godzilla. So, not that gripey about it either. Honestly, when dealing with Godzilla, no character, not even the main ones, should have plot armor. Unless they are so far away from the fight it wouldn't matter.

That rule goes for you as well, Toho! Especially with that whole 24 week long half life thing you had in Shin-Godzilla! Plot armor was the only thing keeping those boring characters alive, because it sure wasn't their hazmat suits. Those things looked like they were made out of tissue paper. Which wouldn't help in dealing with rads that high. Even my mother would know that!

So, if 24 week long half life could get a pass on not killing characters in that shit of a movie, this much better one can get a pass on Eleven not dying.

Meanwhile, crazy bitch Russel finally decides to do something of actual merit and go after her daughter. And Tywin lets her. Because that's not his problem. Just as long as she doesn't take his men with her...he doesn't give a shit.

He really doesn't give a shit.

So that's it for Tywin, we don't see him again until the Stinger, but I've revealed that already. So crazy bitch goes after her daughter, Papa goes after his daughter, and they end up finding the Orca all smashed up. And Godzilla is not doing very well in the fight. He is obviously holding that nuclear pulse in. And yes, it is a nuclear pulse. He's like: "Russel, hurry up! I can't hold this fart in!"

Mothra punctures Rodan in the chest with her stinger. And honestly, she's GMK Mothra. Which is cool. However, she does end up dying during this fight in the attempt to help Godzilla get back on his feet. But like always, she is basically a phoenix and will rise from the ashes through another egg. King Ghidorah is kicking Godzilla's ass all over the place. And when the Russels finally reunite and fix the damned Orca, they turned it on and lead King Ghidorah away from Godzilla long enough for Godzilla to unleash his secret weapon that I spoiled. The nuclear pulse! And it is glorious! He goes red like Burning Godzilla from Godzilla vs. Destroyah, but...it's so much cooler. This red burning look isn't because he's gonna die, it's him charging up his new weapon. And that nuclear pulse is...basically like an atomic blast! Right down to the shearing of flesh from bones! Unfortunately, crazy bitch basically dies in the fire, leaving Russel and Eleven to watch from a distance as Godzilla incinerates King Ghidorah.

And for good measure to make sure Ghidorah doesn't come back...GODZILLA EATS KING GHIDORAH! That has never happened in any Godzilla movie. EVER. Clap! This Godzilla is just the most brutal of any Godzilla. I think GMK Goji might have to bow to this king since he EATS his foes!

And Godzilla stands over a demolished Boston, roars in triumphant. And as the other kaiju show up, he pretty much pulls a Robert Baratheon.

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As if the Game of Thrones references couldn't stop there. So, Godzilla reveals himself to be King Robert Baratheon, which works out because Tywin Lannister is wanting to take him down. So, I'll describe the stinger at the end of the movie. We show Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions walking into a bunker and the guy is explaining that after the Oxygen Destroyer, the fishing in the Gulf is shit now. Because yeah. It would be. It's the Oxygen Destroyer. Well, as he walks into a large room, we see King Ghidorah's only remaining head with flies buzzing around it. And it looks exactly like the scene from Godzilla vs. Mecahgodzilla 1993 when General Aso and a team of scientists come into a room with Mecha-King Ghidorah's head in it...saying "We have it now, a robot to kill Godzilla."

And this is why I think Tywin Lannister is gonna build himself Mecha-King Ghidorah...and take over Westeros.

So all in all, I really look forward to Game of Thrones season 10. It really is shaping up to probably the best season we're ever gonna get. And Season 9 of Game of Thrones ended with a huge bang. I was really satisfied with what they did. Tywin's back! And he's backing the real Dragon...with the Three Heads. I don't think Maester Aemon thought the dragon having three heads meant King Ghidorah, but as George RR Martin stated...prophesies do end up biting your prick off.

So, what do you all think Season 10 of Game of Thrones is gonna be like?

All joking aside, I loved this movie. I really did.

And continuing the Game of Thrones comparisons, the night fight shots in this film...10 times better than The Long Night of Season 8 of Game of Thrones. Why? BECAUSE YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE FIGHT! But if I have one true gripe to say about it...aside from the Oxygen Destroyer...it's that this movie happened BEFORE Godzilla vs. Kong.

No, I'm serious on this. This movie sounds like it should have been done after Godzilla vs. Kong. And I did kinda hated that King Ghidorah had to die in this movie, rather than return as an actual threat again later.

But who knows....we do have that head left over, so anything can happen.

#Godzilla King of the Monsters #legendary pictures #Godzilla #Game of Thrones #GoT Season 8 #Tywin Lannister #Charles Dance #stranger things #Eleven #King Ghidorah #Rodan #Mothra #Ghidorah #kaiju #American kaiju #Titan #spoiler review #movie review

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hazbintrashbin · 5 years ago

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The Tale of a Moth and a Spider

Once upon a time, there was a young lady.

Said young lady sits on the window pane. In her hands she holds some sort of craft, and is finishing up the last touches with a couple more frantic sews. She pricks her finger and hisses, shoving her wounded finger into her mouth for a second —just a quick second!— only to go right back to sewing.

She was but a passing scalleywag, however, due to unforeseen events, ended up requested to go to a ball.

Finally, she finished her craft! She went over to the nightstand and looked into the mirror. Glaring at her one golden eye, she grimaces. “There is no way in the nine circles of hell I will allow myself to go through with this.” She took up her eyepatch from a coatrack, and slipped it over her other eye. This eye was no good, and not quite a sight to see… it was better this way.

This young lady was a pirate, and the most fearsome of them all.

She pulled her hat from beneath the bed and fastened it onto her belt, throwing a rather large coat over herself. She grabbed her small pouch and heaved her bag onto her back. She was ready to go.

At said ball, Princess Charlie had made a decree: the one she’d marry was none other than Vaggie, who happened to be —

“...Me.” Vaggie takes a moment to facepalm, groaning in frustration. Why did she have to choose her, of all people? Why not Lord Alastor? Or Lord-Sir Pentious? Or Duchess Nifty, or Lady Bomb? Hell, even Lord Husk would be a better fit! But not her, not Captain Vaggie —no way! Vaggie may be an airborne entity by nature, but she belongs on the water, gliding the winds into the World That Comes Tomorrow; she wants to keep traveling to smell the spice from every nook and cranny of the world, to seize ships from every yellowbelly daring to cross her, to rough house with every sorry squadron atop the floorboards and to sleep facing the stars, all while her ship, the Sea Moth, rocks gently: as if it were a giant cradle. Yes, that is where Vaggie belongs. Not standing beside some cheesy, smiling two-faced, tomato-cheeked—

“—snout-nose-having, bow tie NO collar-wearing, ghostface, pretty-pretty-Princess in constant distress, same ponytail having, no-good shit dripping, class-lacking, dumb look-on-her-face —ugh!”

So, ‘tis be her plan: once the time is right,

Vaggie peeks out the window. All clear; she grabs her makeshift rope and throws it over the edge. She watched it with mild interest as it unfolds all the way down into darkness, where she’d fall into water. From there, she’d have to carefully swim through the moat.

The little moth would fly into the night!

Down and down Vaggie flew as she clutched onto the joined fabrics for dear life. Quickly, she fell right into the water, spinning herself in a way as to make as little noise as possible.

Princess Charlie would be heartbroken, for her spark had flown like a kite,

Vaggie swam and quickly pulled herself up onto land, and dashed into the dark woods looming over the castle. They were menacing and silent. However, this phased her none: she just wanted to rid herself of this problem and return to her life. After all, she had never expressed to Charlie any desire to be with her —the two hadn’t even dated! No, no, no —more like Princess Charlie took a liking to Vaggie, and figured she’d have everything go her way at the drop of a hat, all because she’s the princess. As if! Vaggie doesn’t abide by such authority. Charlie and her family may be royalty, but they are not a fearsome force to her. Why, she’s seen much worse on her seafaring endeavors!

But Vaggie knew — “Fit like a puzzle” —Them? Not quite.

While running, Vaggie suddenly froze when she heard a snap. She glanced around. All she saw was darkness. It was chilly, and she could still taste a slightly metallic nippyness. Hairs stood up on her body.

But of course, as she stood in the woods so still,

Crack.

Vaggie clutched her spear, which had majestically appeared by command. She glanced around, turning on her heels to look this way and that way. She still saw nothing. She contemplated calling out to this… beast… but decided against it. Let it show itself on its own accord.

A monster has come to give her the chills.

Crick!

Vaggie twirls to the left, and gasps. She backs up immediately, gawking at the large beast towering over her. She watched as it completely revealed itself to her.

Multiple limbs and tall as a Blue Holly,

Vaggie blinked in stupor. The… “monster” held up their four sets of hands in a defensive manner. “Aye, hold your tits, toots.” Vaggie couldn’t help grimacing at this fool. “Ugh, do not call me “toots”.” She said. The fellow demon huffed, and said, “Well, fuck else do I call yah?” Vaggie rolled her eye, lowering her guard some. “Just call me Captain, Fool. And who the hell would you be?” She asked. The man laughed a little. “The one and only, baby; Angel Dust, in the fur!” He puffed his chest out a little, readjusting and re-popping his collar. It was then that Vaggie noticed his particularly tight leather jacket, and the contrasting vividly pink fluff poking out of it. She scoffed, and laughed a little.

Ah, it would seem that this “monster” was simply a folly!

“No, no, I’ve never heard of a so-called Angel Dust.” She said. Her smirk grew wider as he becomes dumbfounded. He cleared his throat and scratched his head. “Bah, whatever. What’s a little bug like you doing in the woods anyway? Yah just askin’ to get squished, huh?” He asked, changing the subject. Vaggie blew a raspberry, dropping her guard to a bare minimum. At this point, she was no longer dealing with a terrifying beast --now, she was only dealing with a funny idiot in the woods.

“As if,” She said, “nothing’s gonna happen to me. I’d love to see anyone try! I do the squashing here, and the conquering.” Angel raises his eyebrows. “Conquering? You some sort of Lord or something, er… or, Lordess or Duchess or whatever?” Vaggie laughed. It was somewhat high-pitched and soft, and hilariously interrupted by the occasional little snort. Angel smiles at her dearly, unbeknownst to the young pirate. She cups her slightly burning cheek after having laughed so genuinely, and shook her head. “That’s stupid. Stupid, but hilarious, to be honest. But, no, I’m not a princess or anything like that.” Vaggie shrugs, leaning against a tree. She makes a face at the man, unaware of how sultry it looks. Or, at least to him it does, but that’s beside the point! “What about you, chump?” She asks. Angel snorts. “Chump? Doll, if I were you, I’d be careful who I’m talkin’ to!” Vaggie looks at him incredulously. “Oh?” She hums. “Oh, yeah, baby. I be royalty!” Angel is clearly oozing with pride, and Vaggie nonetheless rolls her eye at him. Doing this makes her glance at the moon in the split second, and then also to the neighboring planet where the angels dwell. The angels of heaven, that is. Regardless, Vaggie knows she can’t hang around any longer: she’s gonna have to go really soon. She looks back to the strange man before her, and she smiles a little. He’s slowing her down, that’s true… Still, this man is entertaining. In more ways than one, to boot.

“Royalty how?” She asks. Angel grins even wider, and bows. “Lord Dust to you, dame!” He stands, and Vaggie is genuinely surprised. “You’re a Lord? Like, seriously?” Seeing his smug expression never falter in the slightest, she figured it must be true, and gawked. “That’s… something!” Deciding to be a rascal, Vaggie pushes forward. “Hell, seems like everyone’s becoming some sort of Lord or Duke these days! When the hell am I going to get my own estate and stuff?” Angel huffs. “Whenever you marry royalty, I guess.” A moment of silence passes. Suddenly, the air is tense and stiff, and all that sense of comfort that was there before goes out the window.

“So, why are you in the woods? Like, really?” Angel asks again. Vaggie frowns. “It’s a long story…” she sighs. “I was supposed to get married, but it wasn’t exactly a choice I was able to make. More like, the princess just so happened to like me a lot, and took it upon herself to decide for me that I would marry her. Tomorrow! And so…” Vaggie took in a breath and let it all out in one long blow. “And so I decided to run. Run back to my ship, and back to my life!” Angel listened closely, and watches Vaggie kick a nearby pebble. “Ugh, and I bet she was taking that kind of advice from that stupid, son-of-a-tramp Lord Alastor!” Angel tensed up, and noticing this Vaggie frowned even further. “What’s wrong, hun?” She asks. She sounds truly concerned, and Angel was admittedly consoled by this. “Ah, yeah, so about that Alastor fellow? Well, I was supposed to marry him myself, but, ah…” Angel clicks his tongue. “Clearly, that ain’t work out as well as I thought it would. He only accepted my proposal because he and everyone else knew I’d boost his own merit. If we ever got around to joining our estates, he’d have the largest, and would control even more turf than he does now.” He admits. Angel then says, “So, as I think about it, I kinda ran, too. I didn’t want to become his fool, is all.” Angel looks off into the sky, staring at the dimension of Heaven with a distant look. Vaggie began to think. She wondered…

In the heart of the night, two bugs have met,

“Say, where are you going after this?” Vaggie asks. Angel is surprised at the sudden question.

A Moth and a Spider, running from lives of regret;

Angel smirks. “I dunno, probably to rob a bank or some shit, crash at that pussycat’s casino. Why?” Ah, he must be referring to Lord Husk. Vaggie chuckles, and offers a hand.

Then, the little ol’ moth proposed a bet:

“Come with me.”

Angel blushes at her request. “What… Huh?” He stutters. Angel’s smirk had melted from his face, and somehow appeared on Vaggie, who repeated, “Come with me. You said you were gonna rob a bank, right? Why waste your time with that, when you could sail the seas with me? I do things like that all the time —and more!” For a moment, Angel seems reluctant. “Ah, I dunno, I’ve still got an estate to man, and all my employees are stupid, so I can’t trust them for shit. Plus, who’s gonna make sure they do their job and not rob me blind anyway?” He wasn’t so sure about just up and leaving. But the little grey skinned beauty held her ground. “Maybe they will. But come with me, and you’ll have not an estate, but multiple, with workers of all kinds who’ll never think twice about what they do for you! You’ll have ships and towns, even cities dedicated to you! Angel Dust will be the name that makes those ol’ yellowbellys quiver in their panties!” Angel grins at the thought. That does sound inviting. “All that and even greater, you could have!” Vaggie says. She smiled warmly. “We could have it.”

“The Spider and Moth will rule the seas,”

Angel squeezes Vaggie’s hand softly. He brings it to his lips to kiss.

To this, of course, the Spider agrees.

Together they run until they reach the deck’s end,

For a long time they plan to never come again.

When the Princess and Lord will awake to dawn,

The Spider and Moth will be very long gone.

——————————————————————————

I’m sorry this really wasn’t supposed to be this long but when you’re a writer at heart, four paragraphs become four pages so WHELP—

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that-mothman-gay-blog · 6 years ago

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Sleepover with Mothman

If you guys wanna find my ao3, just search up HappilyNervousCollection!

Indrid was never the most clear when he asked things of Duck. Usually his calls were informing Duck of impending disasters or mishaps, giving him very little time- waiting until the future had a high likelihood. So when the seer called up the lodge, Duck tensed just slightly upon hearing the voice.

”Hello Duck Newton!” The lilted voice chimed over the phone, Duck sporting a small smile at the familiarity. “I do hope I’m not imposing, but I’m going to have to stay at your apartment for a few days.”

Duck opened his mouth for questions, Indrid humming on the other end of the line. “Why? Well, there’s a large snow storm coming up, one that would cause a power outage in the trailer park, and the lack of heat would send me into a sort of coma. And as I’m sure you can understand, that isn’t good.” He informed. “Similarly, I cannot stay at Amnesty Lodge either, as I would immediately become a suspect of Mr. Stern.”

Indrid’s fascination with Duck had been at least slightly clear since the first time he’d called Duck- making a specific request for the man he’d hardly knew. And Duck figured that’s why his brain was questioning why Indrid would like to stay with him of all people- Sure, he couldn’t stay with Aubrey because of her co-residency with Agent Stern, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t bunk with Ned and Billy for a few days.

Now, that didn’t mean Duck was complaining. He actually didn’t mind the company at all- especially if it was Indrid.

No, he was simply confused.

”Well, uh, of course Indrid. When should I come and pick you up?” Duck replied, gaining a curious look from Agent Stern, who happened to be sitting in the lobby. Duck tried to act inconspicuous, but his ability to act was just as good as his ability to lie- meaning that he was fucking awful at it.

“Why, whenever you are able to, of course! Although, Duck, you should stick to the back roads.” Indrid chimed, Duck quirking a brow. Indrid replied just as if the two of them were chatting face to face, the pep in his tone dropping just slightly. “There are several less than favorable futures, most of which can be avoided or delayed if you take the back roads.” He explained.

Duck nodded, taking a moment to fish his keys out of his pocket. “Yeah, got it. I’ll be over soon,” Duck replied. “Or, y’know, whenever.”

That earned him a soft laugh from Indrid- a noise that caused Duck’s breath to catch in his throat. He wasn’t quite sure if he had ever heard the mothman laugh before- and if he had, it had probably just been Indrid laughing to himself. But this time, Duck had caused the noise, and it sounded just a little bit different.

”I’ll be seeing you, Duck.”

Click.

At the noise, Duck set the phone down, calming down his breathing for a moment. As he turned to walk out the lodge’s entrance, he paused, Agent Stern approaching him with that same insinuating look on his face.

Ah, shit.

”Hello Mr. Newton,” He started, the friendly tone in his voice countering the curious and suspecting expression he wore. “As I was reviewing some of the anomalies that have taken place here, I couldn’t but hear you mention the name ‘Indrid’. Did I hear that right?”

Duck swallowed, nodding. There was no use in lying if he was absolute shit at it, and lying to a United States Government Official would probably come with some bad repercussions. Agent Stern smiled, Duck getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.

”Duck Newton, did you know that a particular name, ‘Indrid Cold’, is actually the name of a minor cryptid here in West Virginia?” He asked, an eyebrow quirked, that wide smile on his face. Truthfully, Duck hadn’t known that. After all, the big West Virginia cryptid was Mothman, and he was a staple for Point Pleasant tourism. Though, he supposed in a way, ‘Indrid Cold’ was the name of a West Virginia cryptid- though certainly not a minor one.

”No, Mr. Stern, I did not,” Duck replied, his voice unwavering. He was technically telling the truth, so he didn’t have to worry about that coming up later, right?

”And, pray tell, what is this Indrid’s last name?” Agent Stern asked, causing Duck’s eyes to open wide, his brain racking for any sort of answer.

”Well, uh, Agent Stern, his name- his last name,” Fuck. He couldn’t think of anything. “Is...New...ton. Newton-!” Duck was proud of himself for a solid point one seconds, and then he realized his mistake.

”You two share a last name?” Agent Stern asked, definitely a little more suspecting. Duck smiled sheepishly, nodding. “Are you brothers? Cousins?”

”Uh, Married, actually.”

Duck realized his error not a half a second later, his face going rather pink, his eyes widening in surprise with himself. Agent Stern seemingly had a similar reaction, his eyes widening and his smile faltering just slightly. Duck coughed into the crevice of his elbow, taking a moment to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were gay,” Agent Stern apologized, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m thankful you told me though- I can assure you, I have no problem with it either. It simply... it simply caught me off guard.”

“‘S fine, I just- I don’t usually tell people about that sorta thing,” Duck replied, trying to ignore the part of his brain yelling at him to hit himself and curse. “I should probably get going. See ya later, Mr. Stern,”

Duck was quick to scurry over to his car after that, jamming the keys into the ignition and driving away- making sure to follow the back roads as Indrid had instructed.

By the time he had made it to the trailer park, a decent amount of snow had fallen on the ground. The storm had really picked up, flurries caking the town of Kepler. The usual red glow was missing from Indrid’s trailer, and the moment Duck opened his car door, Indrid stepped out.

Surprisingly, the man wasn’t wearing any winter wear, still sporting his usual tank top and jeans. Although, upon facing the bite of the cold, he seemed to regret that. He quickly rushed out from the Winnebago, tugging along a cooler that he shoved into the backseat of the car.

“Need any help?” Duck asked, overcoming the small amount of shock that had hit him. “You must be fucking freezing- here, get in the car, I’ll grab your stuff-“

”N-No, it’s perfectly alright,” Indrid replied, although he was already opening the passenger seat to the car. He supposed that made sense though, considering Duck was already approaching the camper.

As Duck entered the Winnebago, the camper was uncharacteristically cold. Not only that, but as Duck looked around for the rest of Indrid’s luggage, he noted that the camper was far more organized than it usually was. The garbage bin inside was filled to the brim with mostly empty egg nog containers, a few crumpled up drawings precariously piled on top. Duck didn’t bother looking- that felt just a little too personal. But he did make sure to pick up Indrid’s sketch pad.

He found a beat up old backpack in the cramped bedroom, laying neatly on the bed. Duck picked it up, slipping it over his shoulder as he walked back out of the Winnebago and back over to the car.

Indrid was shaking like a leaf from where he sat in the seat, making sure the heat was blowing directly at him. He seemed incredibly sleepy by the time Duck had returned, the man handing over the backpack and the sketch pad.

The sight of Indrid was both concerning and undoubtedly adorable, the man leaning against the door, his eyes half lidded behind his glasses- which were partially down the bridge of his nose. Duck couldn’t help but stare at Indrid’s eyes, noting the almost pearlescent shade of blue. It was striking, interesting, and just after Duck got a good glance he realized he had been staring into Indrid’s eyes.

His face heated up slightly, Duck ignoring that for now as he pushed up Indrid’s glasses, the man turning his head slightly to look at him curiously. He hoped the tinting to the glasses masked the coloration of his face, Duck sporting a sheepish smile. “Well, I can’t have you transformin’ into a giant moth in my car- that would probably be a little conspicuous,” He explained, Indrid nodding dazedly.

Duck hummed, switching the tracks on the CD player, grinning at the eighties rock that played. He did his best not sing along, heading back to his apartment via the backroads. Indrid had warmed up a bit, his voice quiet as he murmured to himself- seemingly making a small chittering noise two seconds before each pothole.

Duck pulled into the apartment complex, parking the car close to the building’s entrance. He parked, moving so that he could get Indrid out of the car, the mothman staying just a little bit longer to soak up some more heat. With a deep breath, Indrid left the vehicle, still making that same chittering noise as Duck quickly guided him up the two sets of stairs to his home.

It sounded almost like a mouse squeak, or a fast, high pitched song Duck didn’t quite know the words to. Indrid’s chittering quieted down as they reached the third floor, his grip on the sketch pad growing tight for just a moment, before returning to it’s lax state. From there, Duck unlocked the door, letting Indrid inside.

“You make yourself comfortable. There’s uh- there’s an electric blanket in the closet if you need it, and a regular one on the back of the couch,” Duck informed, pointing from the closet to the couch. On top of the second blanket sat his cat- a black, fuzzy little kitten. He smiled, filing away the mental image of Indrid buried underneath a bunch of blankets, cuddling his cat. “That’s Kiara. Don’t worry, she’s a sweetheart,”

Indrid nodded, setting down his backpack and taking his sketch pad with him. He hesitantly let the kitten smell him, scooping up the creature and moving for the blanket. Duck smiled, turning around. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go grab the cooler,” Duck informed, Indrid nodding.

Duck was back not ten minutes later, the cooler having given him a little bit of trouble as he lugged it up the stairs. He opened the door again, pulling the cooler towards the kitchen.

“Mr. Stern is going to be here soon, Duck,” Indrid commented, Duck turning his head to look back at the seer. He was burried underneath the electric blanket, the second one draped on top of it. Kiara had perched herself on Indrid’s shoulder, huddled against his neck. “If you’d like, your husband can answer the door so that you don’t have to lie.”. The second part caused Duck’s face to go slightly red, an expletive leaving him.

“Shit- Indrid, how in the deep hell did you-?”

”I know many things, both in the future and after they’ve happened,” Indrid replied, fixing his glasses. He reached into his pocket, making sure Duck could see him slip a silver ring onto his finger. He sounded amused, sending Duck a sly look. “Mr. Stern may be a little hard to convince though.”

Before Duck could fully stammer out a reply, Indrid stood up, one of his hands holding the electric blanket close to him, the other holding on to Kiara. He walked over to the door, an extension cord following Indrid as he stepped over to the door, waiting for that tell tale knock. He waited a moment, then opening the door, wincing at the cold.

”Hello- Oh, hello,” Agent Stern greeted, his expression faltering for just a moment at the sight of Indrid, Duck’s face going a little more red from where he stood in his kitchen. He busied himself, transferring egg nog from the cooler to the fridge. He could practically hear the smile Indrid wore as he spoke.

”Oh, why hello there.” He answered, his voice sounding somewhat curious- confused. Despite that, the smile on his face didn’t leave- perhaps being a little off putting. “I don’t believe we’ve met before.”

”I’m looking for-“

”Duck, yes.” Indrid stated, cutting off the agent. Stern nodded, quirking an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t be the first. Believe it or not, Duck is quite popular here in Kepler.”

”Pardon my rudeness, but who exactly are you?” Stern asked, sounding, well, stern.

“Indrid. Indrid Newton, sir,”

“Ah, I see.”

Duck closed up the fridge, not exactly sure where to put the cooler. Unfortunately, the noise had attracted Agent Stern’s attention, the man looking over Indrid’s head. The ranger froze up, Stern’s smile widening as he spotted Duck in the apartment.

“Hello there Mr. Newton!”

”...Hello?” Indrid answered, unable to keep his grin from widening, chuckling to himself. Duck couldn’t help but chuckle, rolling his eyes as he walked up behind Indrid, standing just behind him.

“You’ve been sitting on that one for the passed minute and a half, haven’t you?” He replied, Indrid smiling and nodding.

”Oh, absolutely.”

Indrid leaned over, pecking Duck’s cheek, Duck’s face going a bit red. Indrid laughed, Duck pulling his hat down so that the brim covered his face. Duck wasn’t sure what to make of that- he enjoyed it immensely, but surely it was just to get Stern away and off their backs, right?

For some reason, Duck’s stomach sunk at the thought.

Indrid seemed to sense this, one of his hands wrapping around Duck’s waist, squeezing. “I’m sorry sir, but may we talk later? Duck and I were going to have dinner soon,” Indrid requested, Stern nodding in approval.

“Of course, I’m so sorry for the disruption.” Stern apologized, smiling sheepishly at the two. Indrid waved as Stern walked away, closing the door, his hand lingering on Duck’s waist. The seer turned, setting Kiara down on the floor, pulling Duck into a hug. It left Duck a little choked up, his heartbeat ringing in his ears.

“Indrid, I uh- fuck, Indrid, was-“

”Yes.” Indrid answered, cutting him off. He leaned closer, Duck able to see his hued reflection in Indrid’s glasses. “You’re quite interesting, Duck. You change my futures at the end of each minute, you’re more heroic than you give yourself credit for. You are kinder than I can ever predict, you are smart- Duck Newton, you are simply fascinating.”

Duck wasn’t sure how to react, Indrid laughing softly as he leaned forwards, pecking Duck’s nose. Duck was flustered, and he reckoned he was probably the color of Indrid’s glasses. He was warm, and jittery, and he couldn’t make any words leave his mouth. Indrid took notice of this, his smile calming just a bit, that sly twist staying where it was.

“I suppose this is my way of asking you out, as interesting as it may be.”

Duck tripped over his words, making an effort to reply to Indrid coherently, failing horribly. Eventually he just trailed his hands around Indrid’s waist, hesitantly holding him close, as if the faintest touch would break him. He slowly leaned forwards, Indrid letting him take his time as he kissed him. He could taste vanilla on his lips, probably from the eggnog; Indrid’s lips curled into a tight smile against Duck’s.

Ever since their first face to face interaction, Duck had felt some sort of attraction to him. He’d shoved aside those feelings for the time being- after all, they did have a few disasters to deal with, and romantic actions weren’t exactly top priority. But something about seeing Indrid dragged along the snow as if he was some type of animal- seeing the man injured and helpless- Duck couldn’t stand it. He’d acted on his emotions and freed him, making sure he was okay- making sure he got out of danger.

After the hunt, Duck had spent a while considering his emotions, still a little unsure about it. He would call up Indrid to make sure the man was doing alright, to make sure he was healing properly. It was embarrassing to admit, but it brought him back to his college years, almost. Especially now, with this kiss, almost as if it was the dramatic conclusion to some stupid romcom.

Duck pulled away, slightly dazed as he stared down at Indrid, the cryptid taking a moment to look back up at him. Duck gained a swell of pride- he never thought of himself to be particularly good at anything, but the kiss must’ve been at least decent if he’d gotten Indrid to blush like that.

”Were you able to predict that?”

#Indruck #Indrid Cold #Duck Newton #TAZ Amnesty #the adventure zone amnesty

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meowci-beaucoup · 6 years ago

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Crazy Rich Marinette (?)

My new fic idea inspired by 15 hours on the plane!!

- In which Marinette and Adrien "switch tropes" and follow a storyline inspired by Crazy Rich Asians. The Crazy Rich Asian AU (tm) you may call it.

- The setting is Paris and then switches to China (probably Beijing because Mandarin Chinese).

- Adrien studied Comparative Cognition and is a visiting lecturer at a local university. Still trying to get tenure. He ironically teaches "Canine Cognition."

- Marinette is cryptic about what she does for a living, but Adrien never probed. Marinette likes to freeload off of Adrien, so he wonders if he's better off than her... but her clothes suggest otherwise at times.

- Gabriel is a freelance designer and is actually very attached to his son (is still Hawk Moth though, just with a hint of Don't Bother My Wonderful Son and Rise Proletariat). He loves Marinette. Absolutely adores her fashion sense. Doesn't realize she is his archnemesis.

- Flashbacks to Gabriel akumatizing randos to be like "Hello ○○○. My name is Hawk Moth. I will grant you powers in return for my son's Happiness... Oh..... And also the Miraculouses."

- Adrien's mother has been in a coma for a long time, but Gabriel can't pull the plug. He pays the hospital bills. When Marinette's family probes on Adrien, he confesses this story, and it brings to question their relationship. "Is this son without a mother fit for my daughter??"

- Marinette's family is actually very very rich. A giant Bread Conglomerate that has resulted in her family banking some serious bucks and having lots of real estate. You know Chinese bakeries?? Egg tarts and sausage bread? Yeah that's all her family's. Get rekt by Fortune and Fame.

- Sabine is straight savage and takes the place of Eleanor Young (Nick's mother) in the movie. She comes from old money and she married into old money. Very much disapproves of Adrien being with Marinette. Has a bit of an inferiority complex herself that she projects onto Adrien.

- Marinette's dad is unfortunately only ominously mentioned. He's too Powerful to even be put into words.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir interactions. Before dating, while dating, while in China, and finally. A Big Reveal that sends Marinette and Adrien both spiraling #AsPerUsual

- The first few chapters: Marinette and Adrien slowly falling in love with each other. "I can't tell him I'm scary rich" tension. Otherwise, they're happy. They're healthy. So much cute fluff!!! Ladybug and Chat Noir interactions.

- Next few chapters: Okay so Alya and Nino are getting married. Their location is China. Because of course it is. And Adrien is Nino's Best Man. Marinette is like "Wow this is the perfect time for me to introduce you to my family!!" ---> And in doing so, foreshadows that it is not in fact the perfect time to meet her family.

- Ladybug: "Wait why are you in Beijing?"

Chat: "Oh.. you know.. Family trip! Here for a wedding I guess, what about you m'lady?"

Ladybug: "...Oops! Looks like my earrings are blinking!! You know what thAt meANS!!"

- Adrien and Nino were college roommates. Turns out Nino is pretty rich. Everyone's rich? Adrien's like "wtf why/how are all of you rich?" They're total bros though. Nino and Alya's family will be attending their wedding but ..

- Marinette's family will also be attending the wedding as well because it's gonna be Big and Alya's Marinette's friend so of course? They're going to go?

- Adrien meets Marinette's family and very weakly and unimpressively tries to speak in Mandarin to them. He messes up the tones and they think he said something about a horse (吗) instead of about his mother (妈妈).

- Will this white boy be able to "prove himself" to a rich, pretentious, and very traditional Chinese family?? Stay Tuned. (Joy Luck Club Vibes)

- Will Marinette be able to successfully eventually propose to Adrien after this and get her mother's approval?? Stay Tuned.

- Marinette: Welcome to China. Say hello to all of my terrible family members.

Give me more headcanons!! I might include them!!

#adrien agreste #chat noir #ooc #miraculous ladybug #headcanons #marinette dupain cheng #fic ideas #ideas #crazy rich asians #au

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littlelovelymemes · 7 years ago

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✰ — — * PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS

‘ i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and i broke everything. ’ ‘ i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems. ’ ‘ there’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk. ’ ‘ don’t be such a baby. i cooked you some bacon for a trail snack. ’ ‘ i really only listen to german death reggae and halloween sound effects records from the 1950s. ’ ‘ whenever she asks me for the latin names of any of our plants, i just give her the names of rappers. ’ ‘ i once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. ’ ‘ i didn’t actually sell my last car, i just forgot where i parked it. ’ ‘ i don’t know who al gore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask. ’ ‘ when they say 2% milk, i don’t know what they other 98% is. ’ ‘ i’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so i’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown. ’ �� upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me. ’ ‘ since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not want a salad. ’ ‘ you’re like an angel with no wings. ’ ‘ oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’ ’ ‘ you’re right, i know. i have to be a grown up... but it’s so hard! ’ ‘ i was reading an encyclopedia and i tripped or ‘fell over’ and hit my head. or ‘brain helmet.’ ’ ‘ oh my god, your boobs are dead. ’ ‘ i have a medical condition, alright! it’s called caring too much and it’s incurable! ’ ‘ he put all my records into this rectangle! the songs just play one right after the other! this is an excellent rectangle! ’ ‘ if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair. ’ ‘ guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love. ’ ‘ jogging is the worst. i mean, i know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost? ’ ‘ i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life. ’ ‘ i know this and i love you. ’ ‘ that’s too much responsibility. i gotta find a way out of this. ’ ‘ you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful. ’ ‘ i was kind of getting sick of listening to them talk about their relationship, but then i remembered that alcohol existed. ’ ‘ i got stung once and i’m immune. go ahead and sting me, bees! it does nothing! ’ ‘ i’m not afraid of cops! i have no reason to be. i never break any laws, ever... because i’m deathly afraid of cops. ’ ‘ i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired. ’ ‘ there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well. ’ ‘ i can’t go because i don’t want to. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna stay angry, i find that relaxes me! ’ ‘ i don’t want to seem overdramatic, but i don’t really care what happens here. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna leave early and go home. ’ ‘ if any of you need anything at all, too bad. ’ ‘ you have never been neutral on anything in your life. you have an opinion on pockets. ’ ‘ dance up on me! ’ ‘ i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move. ’ ‘ one time my refrigerator stopped working. i didn’t know what to do. i just moved. ’ ‘ you’re stupid and you’re drunk and you’re stupid. ’ ‘ you don’t even know one thing. i didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and i didn’t even do it once. ’ ‘ i’m like an elephant, okay? if i walk into a room, it’s like, ‘oh he’s in there.’ ’ ‘ bababooey. ’ ‘ mac and cheese pizza?! you’re making that?! ’ ‘ i was dying earlier today. and then i died. now i’m dead. ’ ‘ the only thing i will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother! ’ ‘ i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life. ’ ‘ i have been kind of tense lately. just thinking about the new star wars sequel. ’ ‘ it does look sad. kind of. sorry for stepping on you, floor. ’ ‘ if you rearrange the letters of peru, you can spell europe. ’ ‘ you’re as guilty as you are sexy. ’ ‘ this maze is like a maze. ’ ‘ sometimes when i blow my nose, i get a boner. i don’t know why. it just happens. ’ ‘ so i feel like you were mad at me yesterday and i don’t know why so i made a list of everything i did and i’m gonna try not to do any of them again. ’ ‘ no, i’m not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks! ’ ‘ i don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are... actually, it’s going to bug me if i don’t. ’ ‘ with all due respect, you’re a major dick. ’ ‘ the calzones... betrayed me? ’ ‘ who hasn’t had gay thoughts? ’ ‘ do you think a depressed person could make this? no! ’ ‘ i like your energy. what do you say you and i ride go-karts later? ’ ‘ three words: treat. yo. self. ’ ‘ treat yo self. it’s the best day of the year! ’ ‘ i’ll tell you what. here’s the deal. if you get fired, i’ll quit, and we’ll leave together. i’m serious! move to a new city, change our names... burn our fingertips off with acid... swap faces... if we have to. ’ ‘ monsters don’t have souls? uh, have you seen monsters inc? ’ ‘ i make my money the old fashioned way: i got run over by a lexus. ’ ‘ i took this thing called ‘zapvigil’ which apparently is what israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake so... right now it looks like i’m talking to a giant crab. stay away from me crab! ’ ‘ well, you suck at being polite, sir. ’ ‘ at one point, for no reason, i just took off my shoes and held them in my hand. ’ ‘ three, two, one, and my shift’s over... what the fuck is your problem?! ’ ‘ math is worthless in real life. i mean, there’s an app for calculating tips. that’s all you need. ’ ‘ your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely. ’ ‘ just because i can’t go out with him, someone else can? wow. ’ ‘ oh, this is bad. i should not have done this. ’ ‘ she’s the worst person i’ve ever met. i want to travel the world with her. ’ ‘ no, no, no, no. i’m not lonely. i have me. ’ ‘ i love watching russian traffic accidents on youtube while i play children’s music at the wrong rpm. ’ ‘ god, i am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that. ’ ‘ you beautiful, rule-breaking moth. ’ ‘ you beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby. ’ ‘ you beautiful tropical fish. ’ ‘ hope no one minds if i livetweet this bitch! ’ ‘ i just want to hear the doctor say that he had a fart attack. is that too much to ask? ’ ‘ the only things i like are dogs and sleeping late. ’ ‘ it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t. ’ ‘ i don’t want anything. i just want to hang out with you. ’ ‘ you’ve killed my spirit. my spirit’s blood is on your hands. ’ ‘ i hate people. ’ ‘ you can see the stars, which i hate. they’re creepy. ’ ‘ i will kill you slowly with a giant syringe. ’ ‘ what? i love garbage. ’ ‘ i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying. ’ ‘ i want to be burned at the stake. ’ ‘ i’m going to murder you a thousand times. ’ ‘ people who buy things are suckers. ’ ‘ this is 100% certified for realskis. ’ ‘ well, if there’s anyone who can bring my parents together, it’s no one. no one can ever bring them together. ’ ‘ getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do because every day you come home and you’re just like, ‘what? it’s you! i love you! you’re my sexy roommate. we love each other.’ ’ ‘ i am 100% certain that i am 0% sure of what i’m going to do. ’ ‘ my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours. ’ ‘ maybe we should find the person who stole your positive attitude. ’ ‘ scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. i believe i am that human being. ’ ‘ messy is fun, okay? my whole life is a giant mess and i love it. ’ ‘ friendship is better because friends help you move. they drive you to the airport. boyfriends just... love you and marry you. ’ ‘ i hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears. ’ ‘ everything hurts and i’m dying. ’ ‘ i need you to text me every 30 seconds saying everything’s gonna be okay. ’ ‘ let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: my bad. ’ ‘ there are no consequences to my actions anymore. i’m like a white, male u.s. senator. ’ ‘ hey, are you busy? and writing star trek fan fiction does not count. ’ ‘ what do we...? like, what do we do? like, what do we do? um, how- how do we- how...? how... how... how? what do we do?! ’ ‘ oh, also, i have a little secret... i’m drunk. ’ ‘ i do say the cutest stuff. ’ ‘ i don’t want to cause a panic... news flash: we’re screwed! ’ ‘ velvet slippies, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. i’m a cashmere-velvet candy cane. ’ ‘ you shut your mouth! you have all the strengths! ’ ‘ never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing. ’ ‘ i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. ’ ‘ i guess i kind of hate most things, but i never really seem to hate you. ’ ‘ time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. let’s go! ’ ‘ i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well. ’ ‘ ovaries before brovaries. ’ ‘ sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot. ’ ‘ i have never taken the high road, but i tell people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road. ’ ‘ just remember, every time you look up at the moon, i, too, will be looking at a moon. not the same moon, obviously. that’s impossible. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross. ’ ‘ i love games that turn people against each other. ’ ‘ i don’t care about that prize, but i’m gonna win because i want his happiness to go away. ’ ‘ that is the coolest sentence i have ever heard somebody talk. ’ ‘ i wanted to make fun of stupid people while i get drunk. my two true passions. ’ ‘ i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself. ’ ‘ if i could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, i would. ’

#ask meme #rp ask meme #sentence starters #indie rp #inbox meme #rp meme #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starter meme #starters #rp #askbox meme #rp ask box meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme

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iamvegorott · 7 years ago

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A New Virus Chapter 1

Hello my little bell peppers and welcome to the highly requested sequel to A Small Glitch! I hope all of you enjoy the sequel as much as you enjoyed the first story!

Summary: Annalise is no longer the little girl Anti and Dark found tied to their door. Reaching the end of her junior year in high school, Annalise is being told that she needs to start thinking about her future. Everyone's saying college while she wants to work at Glitchers, not knowing the full meaning of that job. Dark and Anti believes that to be their only problem, but when everything begins to start draining without their control, they fear that either someone's back, or there's a new virus to deal with.

Happy Birthday!

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.” Dark sang as he entered the dining room, a large chocolate cake was balancing on his hands, four bright orange candles circled the center with their wickers lit.

“Happy birthday dear Annalise.” Anti joined Dark with his singing, a very happy and energetic Annalise sitting at the head of the table. “Happy birthday to you.” Dark placed the cake down in front of Annalise.

“What I do?” Annalise asked as she stared at the cake with wide, eager, eyes.

“You blow out and make a wish,” Anti answered.

“Wish? I get wish?” Annalise put her hands to her mouth in shock.

“And you can’t tell anyone or else it won’t come true,” Dark said, smiling when Annalise scrunched her face in determination.

“Got it.” Annalise nodded her lead before straightening up, chewing her lip for a moment as she thought before letting out a harsh puff of air and blew out the candles.

“Got it one take.” Anti chuckled.

“Father...”

“Wanna tell papa what you wished for.” Dark asked in a soft tone.

“You say no tell!” Annalise huffed, wagging a finger in Dark’s face.

“I was testing you, princess. Have to make sure you don’t tell anyone your secrets.”

“Father.”

“No tell anyone.” Annalise promised.

“I’m ready for some cake.” Anti chuckled.

“Father!”

Dark snapped out of his happy daze when his office door was thrown open. The laptop continued playing the video as Annalise entered the room, hands on her now developed hips and backpack slung over her shoulder.

“I’m going to be late!” Annalise cried as she grabbed Dark’s arm and started tugging on it. “What are you watching?�� She asked when she saw the video.

“Nothing.” Dark quickly paused the recording and stood up.

“I remember making that wish.” Annalise said with a light chuckle.

“That was thirteen years ago, how do you remember that specific wish?” Dark asked as his body changed to match what the fathers of Annalise’s classmates would look like.

“I make the same one every year.” Annalise stated.

“Really? What is it then?” Dark brushed his now salt-and-peppered hair back.

“One: not telling. Two: please keep your hair as dark brown, the gray parts are too old for you.” Annalise ruffled Dark’s hair.

“I think it makes me look mature.” Dark huffed as he changed his hair color.

“It makes you look like a sugar daddy and I will not have my friends try to get some from you.” Annalise adjusted Dark’s hair until she was satisfied.

“I’m a married man. To another man.” Dark straightened his tie before slightly bowing and gesturing towards the door. “After you.”

“Why, thank you.” Annalise said in a low-pitched voice and did a small curtsey before walking out of the office. “When’s dad supposed to get back?” She asked while they headed for the front door.

“He should be back by the time you’re home from school.” Dark answered.

“Bye, Cranky.” Annalise said to the black cat sitting on the kitchen floor. The cat looked up, blinked their one green eye and meowed before going back to his licking.

“Now, if you get a text to ride the bus go-”

“Lock all the doors, gather the hidden guns and knives, stay in the office with Cranky and wait until you get home.” Annalise listed off the steps with her finger as they left the house and went into the car.

“Did you remember-”

“Yes, father, I remember all of it.” Annalise groaned, struggling to get her seatbelt to agree with her.

“Did you remember to look under your seat?” Dark asked with a grin.

“No way!” Annalise squealed and reached under her seat, pulling out a small box. “It’s so pretty!” Annalise gasped when she pulled out a thick gold bracelet, a diamond in the shape of a butterfly was in the center of the band. “Thank you!” Annalise hugged Dark before slipping on the piece of jewelry.

“Happy birthday, princess.” Dark said with a smile.

“Tiana is gonna think that this is so cool!” She continued squealing as she put on her seatbelt.

“Make sure not to lose that, it’s one of a kind.” Dark started as he began driving.

“This thing is too cool to lose!” Annalise said as he admired the bracelet.

So…” Annalise’s shoulders slumped, she knew what that tone of voice meant. “I saw that you had thrown away all of the college pamphlets that have been sent to you.”

“Father.” Annalise groaned.

“You’re nearing the end of your junior year, you need to be thinking about what college you’re going to.” Dark said. “You can go to whichever college you want. We can easily afford it and your grades are nearly perfect and you’re going to score highly on the ACT’s and the SAT’s later this year. You could go to Harvard or Princeton or Yale or anywhere.”

“I don’t want to go to college.” Annalise muttered under her breath. She crossed her arms and curled up when she saw Dark stiffen a little, knowing she was in for a lecture.

“Why don’t you want to go to college? Do you know the thousands of people your age who would love to know that they could go to college worry free? To pursue any field they want without fear? No student loans, no debt, just college?” Dark was waving his other as he spoke.

“You didn’t go to college.” Annalise protested.

“I’m a demon, Annalise. I’m not like the others.”

“And I’m a virus like dad. I’m not like the others, too.”

“Your dad is a virus that was formed inside of a grown man's body. You were born, you are being raised and I have not been raising you so you can waste such a golden opportunity.” Dark waited for several teenagers to walk past the car.

“I don’t want to waste four years to get a degree that I don’t want.” Annalise said.

“What do you want to do then? I can’t think of anything that a college degree isn’t either required or at least help.” Dark pulled up to the high school.

“I want to work with dad.” Annalise answered.

“I…” Dark felt his voice get caught in his throat.

“I’m great with computers, I’m a natural and I’m sure dad won’t require a college degree to hire me.” Annalise started to get out of the car. Dark sighed as Annalise walked around the car.

“I love you.” Dark called. Annalise stopped, did a shuffle like she was trying to hold herself back, but lost and she rushed over to the driver side of the car.

“Love you, too.” Annalise said after giving Dark a peck on the cheek. “Shit!” Annalise cursed when a bell went off.

“Lang-”

“Bye!” Annalise waved as she ran off. Dark watched Annalise run up to a girl her age and the two laughed as they both ran into the building. Tatiana, or Tiana, for short, was a very nice girl that Annalise befriended when they were both seven years old. Dark could still remember after school had ended that Annalise was holding Tiana’s hand and walked her over to him and Anti. Tiana was a little confused at first when Annalise referred to them as ‘papa’ and ‘daddy’ but she just shrugged and greeted ‘Mr. Papa’ and ‘Mr. Daddy’ with a big wave and a squeaky voice. The two had spent many weekends over at each other’s houses, it took hours of convincing from Anti and a few...favors, to get Dark to agree into letting Annalise go to Tiana’s house. There, of course, was a phone call to Tiana’s parents, but after the first time, Dark never questioned it again. His little girl was happy and that’s what mattered.

“Hey, buddy! What you doing!?” A voice shouted and was followed by a honk. Dark blinked a few times, getting pulled out of his memories and he drove away. He had other things to do besides getting angry at a rude man. Dark took out his phone and held one of the keys to speed dial someone. He put the phone on speaker and placed it inside of a phone holder.

“Hey, handsome.” Anti answered with a chuckle.

“Did you get it?” Dark asked as he took a turn.

“I did not travel all the way to New Jersey to not get it. I’ve gone through all the batteries I’ve packed and I’m going to pick up some more before coming back to the house, see you in twenty. Love you.”

“Love you, too-could you not!?” Dark snapped at the person who cut him off and forced him to slam on the brakes. “Seriously! I don’t give a fuck that I can’t die, that doesn’t give you a reason to be an asshole!”

“Save that anger for the bedroom, honey.” Anti’s smirk could be heard through the phone.

“Then you better hurry up, the others will be at the house later and I don’t want to be interrupted.” Dark chuckled.

“I’ll see you at home, Darky.”

“I’ll see you.”

x~x~x

Annalise was giving Dark a look of suspicion as she got out of the car. He was happy, too happy. He was overly excited about something. For most people Dark seemed like he was fine, he seemed calm and collected, but Annalise was able to tell with the occasional twitch of the lip, the messing with his hair a little too much and the light movements of his fingertips, something was up.

“Allow me to get the door for you.” Dark said, holding the door for Annalise.

“Did someone-”

“Surprise!”

“Holy shit!” Annalise cursed when all of the egos jumped out towards her.

“Language.” Dark sighed as Annalise ran into the group and got lost in a giant hug.

“Happy B-day, girl.” A girl Annalise’s age said and gave Annalise a personal hug.

“How did you beat me, Tiana?” Annalise asked.

“Wilford got me after school on his motorbike.” Tian answered, gesturing with a thumb towards the pink haired man.

“You got to ride the motorbike!?” Annalise gasped. “When can I-”

“No.” Dark stated.

“But-”

“Tiana’s mother gave us permission but you do not have mine.”

“Father.” Annalise whined.

“Would anybody like some cheese with that whine?” Bing asked as he held a cheese platter towards Annalise. Annalise laughed at the joke and took a cube.

“I’m glad you could make it.” Annalise said with a shy smile at Bing.

“Like hell, I’m missing the party of the year!” Bing did a spin on his heels, earning another laugh from Annalise.

“Look out, bitches! I got cake!” Anti called out as he entered the room, a large tray balancing on his arms.

“Dad!” Annalise cheered.

“Happy birthday, princess.” Anti chuckled as he lowered the tray onto the dining table that had been moved to the living room. “Check it out!” Anti removed the cover and showed off a cake designed in the shape of a butterfly. The wings were orange with cubes making their shape, a sheer gloss covering it to make them look holographic.

“That’s so cool!” Annalise and Tiana said together.

“Let’s eat!” Anti picked up a knife from the table and started slicing the cake, handing Annalise the first slice before passing out a piece to everyone.

“I totally mastered this new trick on my skateboard and you gotta let me show you.” Bing said from his spot on the floor while looking up at Annalise and Tiana, who were sitting on a couch.

“We have to make sure father’s not looking.” Annalise said in a lowered tone.

“Your dad would be all for it.” Tiana said. “But Mr. Papa.” She held out the word to show her lack of faith.

“I’m still not sure how they made this gloss.” Marvin said as he examined the piece of cake on his fork.

“Sugar?” Chase raised a brow and licked the frosting.

“Hey, you two.” Anti plopped himself between the two and laid his arms across their shoulders. “Have you hooked up yet? I want my ten bucks from Dark.”

“I’m married, Anti.” Chase protested.

“Are you?” Anti raised a brow.

“Technically and besides, me and Marvin are just good friends, right, Marvin?”

“Yep. Just friends. Only friends.” Marvin shoved a large bite of cake into his mouth. Chase was oblivious to the gesture since his attention was drawn away by Wilford as he and Jackieboy started dancing offbeat to the music. Anti caught what Marvin did and patted the magician’s shoulder.

“Don’t give up.” Anti whispered before getting up. Marvin swallowed thickly and stared at his cake.

“I don’t…” Marvin let out a soft whine instead of finishing his statement.

“I think Annalise is having fun.” Dark said with a small smile when Anti joined him.

“Good. It’s her birthday, she should be.” Anti wrapped his arm around Dark’s waist.

“Haven’t you had enough for today?” Dark chuckled.

“I could never have enough of you.” Anti put his other hand on Dark’s chest and gave him a kiss.

“Gross!” Annalise yelled, getting a laugh from the others and making Dark and Anti part.

“Get a room!” Tiana added.

“Don’t give them any ideas.” Google said

“Too late!” Anti quickly leaped on Dark’s back and pointed. “To the bedroom!” Dark simply stood there and made a face. “To the bedroom!” Anti tried again. “You’re no fun.” He said after another pause of nothing.

“You weren’t saying that earlier.” Dark said with a wink.

“No! Don’t say things like that!” Annalise flailed a little.

“Oh, no. The birthday girl is upset.” Anti hopped down and ‘ran’ to Annalise. “Does she need to tickle-monster?”

“Don’t you dare.” Annalise held up a finger. “Traitor!” She squealed at Tiana when she took her plate away and Anti started tickling her.

“Back-up, I need back-up!” Anti laughed as he struggled to contain Annalise.

“Here comes Dark-osaurus!” Dark rushed over and joined Anti.

“No!” Annalise giggled as she was tickled mercilessly by her dads. “Help!”

“Uncle Stache is here!” Wilford grabbed Dark from behind and pretended to try to pull him away.

“And here we can see the strange ritual that is of these demons, Jim.” Reporter Jim said into the camera as all of the other egos joined in the big, chaotic, mess.

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101 @kaner-va @fandom-trash1214 @sophs0ph @pixelenchanter @snickerz171 @fuck-im-emo @coffee-in-sweaters

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clownsgobeepbeep · 7 years ago

Note

Puppy love X3

I hope this counts as puppy love X3 And also that you like it

@grotesquegabby Lennie takes part in this~

Cuckoo grew quite bored one day, not knowing what is is they could do. They would have called Calliope and gone to visit her or at least met up with her at one of their favorite locations, though they discarded that idea when remembering that they would be having a date later that night at their apartment. Maybe it was best to call Cosmos to have a Doctor Who marathon? No, they had gone to the movies the day before and he was most likely spending time with his mother which he hated having interrupted. Who else could they hang out with that was not busy...oh! So here they were standing near the D'Vitt backyard, with Lennie and Maggie.

"How is this a roadtrip?"

"Well, reality is that this in fact is not a roadtrip. instead, it is a timeline trip!"Cuckoo replied, instantly making them all jump into a new timeline but...

"Cuckoo?"

"Yes Lennie?"

"We're in the same dimension."

"That is where you are incorrect my friend! Just give it some time, and I shall show you what I have been meaning to demonstrate." they replied as they looked at their watch, Lennie and Maggie then turning to the front when they heard a door open and close. They sat Aster and Lydia walk out, though they wore formal attire as they waved to somebody, then getting into their car and driving away.

"We're still waiting."

"Aaand, now!"Cuckoo said as they started walking, the other two following behind. "Now, I must warn that what you will see may come as surprising. Not everybody in the home is the same of course, there are major differences and I would advise that you all remain hidden and quiet."

"You make it sound like we're going into some sort of danger zone."Maggie said, then taking out her spare key to unlock the D'Vitt door, though it didn't work. "Wait...is this the wrong key?"

"Negative, during this time period, the D'Vitts have a different lock for certain reasons. Now, allow me." Cuckoo said, taking out a key which easily unlocked the door. They all went inside, noticing there wasn't much of a difference except that there was a rocking horse in the shape of a seahorse along with drawings made by a child all over the table and living room.

"Are we...in the pas-"

"Jelly!"They all kept quiet as they heard a voice, it sounded somewhat familiar yet somewhat different. "Jelly! Honey! Where are you little doll?"

Maggie turned to look at Cuckoo, her eyes widening as Lennie immediately guessed who it was.

"Oh my god, I really wish we had Vespers here. Why didn't you bring him!?"she exclaimed, Cuckoo gently covering her mouth apologetically before they leaned in to whisper.

"He was too busy with a few errands and I did not want to bother."they replied, then snapping their head up in a panic once footsteps were heard. They placed each hand on Lennie and Maggie's heads before they felt a strange sensation, right before the person yelling walked in: Cosmos.

They all looked at him, his hair and height were shorter and he looked quite thin, despite the large clown costume he wore. He walked around, never noticing the three who were hidden under Cuckoo's powers, then crouching down to pick up the drawings that were on the floor.

"This baby...such a lazy baby."he chuckled out, then standing up with the papers in his hands. "Jelly! Oh wait...shoot...what if she went dimension jumping again? Oh no, oh no, oh no!"

They saw that Cosmos ran off, dropping all the papers which scattered around, and he swung the front door open before running out of the house in a panic. Cuckoo then removed their hands, chuckling as Maggie let out a snort.

"Should we help him?"she asked, Cuckoo shaking their head as Lennie curiously went to go look at the dropped papers, seeing fish and jellyfish, one of the drawings being a shark with an arrow pointing to 'Brucey'.

"That would not be the best, for his sister is in no danger at all. She is merely playing...I have forgotten where."Cuckoo said with a shrug, then cracking their knuckles. "If you wish, you may go and look through the house. Nobody is at home and I believe you both would enjoy seeing their rooms, all the differences there is! Meanwhile, I shall look for something if you do not mind."

And just like that, Cuckoo walked away to what was most likely the house's garage, and Maggie grinned before turning to Lennie.

"I'm gonna go check out Cosmos' room so I have blackmail material when we're back!Besides, Vespers would love to hear about this!"she exclaimed, then running off as Lennie gently set down the drawings on the living room's couch. He didn't mean to be nosy but...he was a bit curious to see how different Jelly's room looked, considering how she was younger during this time period, so, he sighed and walked through the house as he normally would when visiting Jelly.

He saw that the halls had no pictures like he was used to seeing, but instead more drawings and portraits of the parents, Cosmos, grandparents, everybody but Jelly which heightened his curiosity. Eventually he reached her room which was closed, and on the door was a paper jellyfish along with stickers of all sorts of sea creatures.

Lennie reached up and opened the door, being met up with not the blue he was used to, but instead pink and white. He saw a smaller bed that was not a giant clam shell shape but instead a rectangular shaped one that was hidden by a jellyfish net, and all her plush toys but one were neatly on it. Everything was different and it felt so strange.

He walked towards where he knew would be Ula's future bed spot, instead seeing a small library of books and journals that were all empty. He explored a bit more, not getting too deep into the room before he decided it was time to go look for Maggie or Cuckoo, so he turned to face the doorway but stopped.

"Oh my god..."he whispered as his eyes stared directly into big green ones, each one with a bubble in them as their owner looked up at him. Short wavy hair attached to a round little, white head with only a red nose and cheek swirls. It all then lead to the pink nightgown they wore, the sleeves hanging loosely as the person's right hand held onto what he recognized as the secret toy "Eddy the Teddie".

Lennie cleared his throat, scratching behind his head as he stared at who could have been easily mistaken for Ula which was a little off now that the thought about it, but instead...it was Jelly. She blinked at him, then clutching onto her octo-bear while she hid her face in it, obviously shy in that moment.

"Hey um...kid...uh, shit what do I do..."Lennie said, whispering the last part as he clearly had no idea what to do and from what he remembered, this little girl practically spoke nothing at all, just like Ula. He looked at her, then seeing that she slowly and cautiously walked over to him, her eyes scanning him as the plush was carefully lowered down and held in one hand again. She reached up, then poking his nose gently as she gave a small smile with pink cheeks.

"Cute."

"W-what?" Lennie was...he didn't really know what he was, but it was somewhat funny seeing the younger version of his girlfriend...call him cute and if anything...she looked almost like she did after she introduced herself to him. Her older version of course.

"You. Cute."she said, then patting his hair."Sharky. Fishy."

Lennie let out a chuckle, seeing how she was so entertained with his hair before she stopped and turned her head after having heard a door swing open and slam close.

"Jelly! Jelly, my sweet, sweet baby sister, are you here!?"

Jelly turned back but jumped back when she saw that the man from before was gone. She blinked in confusion, holding her octo-bear before her brother came into her room and hurriedly picked her up.

"Jelly! Don't you ever do that to me again! You had Moo-Moo worried sick! Where were you? What were you-" Cosmos said, never stopping the questions as the little girl was too busy thinking of what just happened. Whoever that was, he was cute. She really hoped to see him some other day.

"So, what did you find out?" Maggie said with a grin on her expression, Cuckoo and Lennie walking alongside her as they decided to go and check out more about the little town they lived in.

"Uh...not much, you?" he responded, then hearing Maggie giggle as she showed him her phone.

"Cosmos has a mothman action figure, and he married a Moth Man! Coincidence!?"

"I think not."

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