#i’m excited for whatever they have planned regardless tho bc i trust them now

[starbuck]

Ya know, now that they’ve gotten Mutual Confirmation of Feelings via The Big Kiss out of the way, I kinda DO hope that they go the maxanor route with Stede and Ed and have their relationship be antagonistic throughout much of s2 (but also in the sense that they’re still learning more about each other and gaining a deeper understanding) until the end where they’re forced to become reluctant allies to confront some larger threat (probably the navy, furious that Blackbeard went back to piracy, thereby nullifying their victory in 1x09).

And then the first half of s3 is dedicated to Stede and Ed rekindling their friendship and healing some of those old wounds and midway through s3, at some time when all hope seems lost (maybe they’re in a holding cell together waiting to be hanged or something?), we get a “Where would we have gone?”-esque scene and it’s heartwrenching.

But THEN, because this show isn’t a tragedy like Black Sails, they actually DO get a second chance to Escape The Narrative, and ultimately get the happy ending that Max and Eleanor couldn’t have. I just think that would be Neat.

[codenamesailordarillium]

I just stumbled across your tumblr & saw the thing where you said you don’t mind random asks, so I hope this ones ok: I got into DW over the past year & am now hardcore RiverDoctor. Unfortunately it seems like I’ve arrived to the party about 10 years late. Which means I stumbled across the section of the fandom that hates on THoRS bc 12 wasn’t “River’s Doctor” & 11 didn’t get to take her to Darillium for the first time today... Would you have any thoughts on that whole thing?

Wow…well, first I wanna say it’s always great to have new people on board. I know it might seem like you’ve gotten into it too late in the game, but trust me, new people in our corner in the fandom are always welcome (as with any fandom, of course). Feel free to send asks gushing about it to people, I’m sure fellow shippers would be happy to welcome you with open arms. ^_^

As for the rest well…this is gonna get long and probably have the potential to piss certain ppl off bc I have Opinions™, so gonna put the rest of this under a cut.

Hoo boy…yeah, 11/River *ONLY* shippers. See, the thing was, initially, back in late 2013/early 2014, when we were fresh off of Matt’s regeneration ep and all, I could sympathize to a certain degree with ppl who were sad about him leaving and were reluctant to see River/Alex with 12/Peter because it wouldn’t be the same or whatever. I didn’t agree personally (tho initially I was p bummed about Matt leaving, Peter started winning me over real quick not long after he was announced), but I understood that people have a certain attachment to characters and specific dynamics shippy or otherwise. 

But to me, River was always the priority when regarding my interest in DW, and I wanted to see more of her in the show again, regardless of which Doctor it was with. I didn’t like how abruptly Moffat decided to end her story, just because the majority of the big reveals unfolded with Matt as the Doctor and suddenly because he and Karen and Arthur weren’t gonna be on the show anymore it meant Alex had to go as well. That didn’t really seem fair to River as a character, ‘cause it felt like we’d only been shown the bare bones of her story, her background/origin, her getting married to the Doctor, and then her dying. It didn’t feel right for her to just…not be there all of a sudden. Certain episodes (and lbr character dynamics) during series 8 and 9 would have probably benefited from her presence (off the top of my head I’d say Time Heist, how the hell did this show have a heist episode with no River using her time-traveling archaeologist sleuthing skills, like dafuq).

So…pre-THoRS, the Doctor/River fandom after Peter took over the role was a bit of a mixed bag. There were the people who only wanted River with 11 and just angsting in general because there wasn’t gonna be any more of that, but there also was a significant bunch of us who were DEEP into wanting River & 12 to happen. People were still in the fandom, writing fic, drawing fanart, what have you, probably at a slower rate than they had previously, but there was still stuff being put out there, simply because we wanted to entertain what that hot Capalston Sex Storm chemistry might look like. So when news of THoRS suddenly hit us in the face like…

…needless to say, a good number of us were suddenly stoked, new life had been breathed into the fandom and there was pretty much constant excited yelling for like the three and a half-ish months after it was announced. Once the episode finally came out and Darillium got switched from that big dreadful moment where River’s story turned tragic (well, even more tragic than it already was) to literally the most warm and fuzzy soft 24 years of domestic marital bliss for River, there were diverging opinions.

Post-TNotD the fandom had come up with all these headcanons about 11 having lost River directly after losing the Ponds, which was why he was up on that cloud for a century and the generally accepted consensus was that Darillium had to have happened with 11. Admittedly, it doesn’t really paint 11 in the best light after the fact that he seemed to have tried dying on Trenzalore without ever having taken River to Darillium like he’d promised. But, looking back, a lot of 11 & River’s relationship as it was depicted in series 5 & 6 was fraught with emotional hurt on River’s end, so for me personally (and some others), it didn’t really seem entirely out of character for 11 once we really started thinking about it. 

Really, it’s more complicated because of the nature of TV and how with a show like DW it’s really impossible to plan out these big story beats ahead of time with different Doctors. Moffat initially tried getting David to stay an extra season after RTD left, and had David said yes, that means a good chunk of River’s story would have unfolded with 10. It kinda just ends up being a case of who’s currently part of the cast and how can we mold this particular part of the story around them. By the time Steven decided on the way in which he wanted to show Darillium unfold, Matt was already gone, so it had to happen with Peter.

(And I mean, if you wanted to put a positive spin on it, you could see it as 11′s big blustery last-ditch attempt at trying to prevent River dying in the Library from happening.)

I was admittedly a vocal cuntface about how much I DIDN’T want THoRS to end on Darillium before “24 years”. I hated the idea of 12 finally seeing and being with his wife only for it to end all unnecessarily angsty again. Moffat managed to completely upend and rewrite my expectations in that regard, fortunately. 

For a lot of us, it was about River being shown to finally have some no-strings-tied happiness with a Doctor who knew her. I think a lot of people wanted that to be with older!11, but narrative-wise, I think regardless of whether it’s older!11 or 12, the point is the Doctor being at a point where he can be the husband who River needs. One whose memories don’t need to wiped after the fact like all the classic Doctors, War, 9, or pre-Library 10. Aside from the whole HELL YEAH SPACE WIVES angle, I think that’s also what fuels a lot of the desire for River to be with 13 as well, a Doctor who knows and loves her regardless of what face their wearing.

For some ppl in this fandom tho, that didn’t suffice because it didn’t happen with Matt & Alex. And I mean, if that’s how someone feels, that’s their prerogative, but I don’t see any reason to rain on everyone else’s parade when it literally brought new life and excitement and joy and FUN into our fandom after what felt like quite a long dry spell without any River content. 

And I mean, not to get mopey and sad about it (trigger warning for some potentially upsetting stuff), but the news about River being back on DW in September of 2015 couldn’t have come at a better time fore me personally, bc that was literally a time in my life where I had sudden and overwhelming/dangerous mental health issues, to the point where daily I contemplated suicide and knowing that River was finally gonna meet the Scottish version of her husband was quite literally the thing that kept me alive, because I fucking HAD to see it. So, I do tend to bristle when I come across opinions that trash that particular episode, because it means a HELL of a lot to me. 

The only thing I can say about dealing with people who stew in negativity is to just try to avoid them. I don’t follow anyone who professes THoRS-negative opinions and in some very rare cases I’ve blocked certain people. In addition to this, bc Tumblr’s blocking system is balls, I use the xkit blacklist extension and literally put people’s urls into it so I don’t have to see their stuff when others unknowingly put it on my dash. (Tho be aware that if ppl change their urls you might need to go in and change it to their current one, but it’s not that hard to do.) Because at the end of the day, you just want to be able to enjoy the ship. You are the one curating your own fandom experience, and once you know what you want to avoid (or who), you gotta just take the necessary precautions.

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode 1: “Why is my tribe all these musty men and Ruthie?” -Ali

-I'm writing this pre-cast reveal and I'm scared shitless. Dear future Jess, Don't puke before tribals because of anxiety. Don't let the m*n tell you what to do. Don't get in your head and trust your gut. Sincerely, Pre-Cast Reveal Jess.

- Now where do I begin.... It's day 2? I believe.... in this game and I've already spiralled and showed the signs of a future crackhead. In all seriousness though, I've calmed down and the initial shock of cast reveal has worn off. I was a bit shook seeing some of the people in this cast playing. I've literally hosted a large chunk of these people so I REALLY HOPE NONE OF THAT COMES TO BITE ME IN THE ASS (I don't think it will). I hope people realize I wasn't really paying close attention to their games when hosting.. and if I was... I have the memory of a pebble. I'm sure none of that will have an impact on anyone besides maybe Ali. BUT ALI IF YOU ARE READING THIS.. DAY 2 JESS REALLY WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU! Now lets talk about my tribe: - We got Rachael/Zach who are super close or at least have some sort of connection through his sister. - We got Birch/Keegan regardless of whatever they are pushing about doubts with each other I can see them cleaning that slat in the name of numbers. - Me and Gavin because I'm the only one he knows in this game. - Possibly me/Timmy if he wants to work with me. - Possibly me/Chips hoping he remembers I did show how blindly loyal I was to him the last game we were in.... - Bodhi might be in with people like Zach (who he was hosting) and Rachael. - John honestly... I have no idea about. He's such a wild card for me. My overall thought process and game plan right now is... BLUID THOSE RELATIONSHIPS! I think I proved with my challenge performance I am an asset to this tribe but I want to show people I can be an asset to them. I can see us swapping at 16 so I'm going to be around this tribe for a bit so I need people to want me around. So far I'm getting along with Keegan he seems like a cool cat. I'm also aware he's probably a cool cat in everyone's eyes but for right now.. I really like him! Birch is definitely a social beast. From what I remembered they were an extremely social player in the season I hosted them but they are very transparent with their information which does scare me. For the time being though, I'll attempt to work my magic with them and build that trust so the information spills to me.. Rachael is a queen. I really want to work with her because I do see similarities between our playing style which is something I always gravitate towards in games. I'm naive and I do know she has other people higher up on that trust-ladder based off of initial relationships but I do hope to somehow climb that. Although I do know she will be a power play in this game, I know I'm going to need other power players around me to ensure there is a target ahead of me. She also brings connections which typically brings in information. So rather than be a crackhead and go for her (which is what cast reveal night Jess thought about) I'm going to try and work with her. Zach.. honestly, I don't know how much I have in common with a teenage boy so that might be a road block between us. He is one of those key-relationships I hope to build off of through Rachael. I will also die if Rachael/Zach aren't that close and I'm just rambling shit right now. Gavin is one of my FIRST ORG friends and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM PLAYING THIS GAME. I don't think anyone right now knows we are close but I'm not afraid to cut him if it means I go further in this game. I'm not really sure about my tribes chances for this first immunity challenge. Everyone aside for a few people on this tribe seem like they have their shit together in this challenge. I know the "movie trivia" crew snapped hard and my back hurts from carrying my tribe but.... our chances of winning rely on Timmy (who is on vacation), Gavin who is probably working or something, and Bodhi who is hosting currently. So to say I'm confident.... would be a giant ass lie. I'm excited for the idol search to open up SO BAD.

-Cast is revealed and game starts in a half hour. I’m feeling excited. I hope I do better in this season than the game I did last, 17th. Ughhhhhh, grosss

- I’m having fun doing the quotes, it’s interesting. I feel like I’m getting along well with everyone. I’m trying to talk to them all and interact. If I’m amusing they won’t get rid of me. Right? Right? Somebody tell me I’m right

-Okay tea time!  I'm really excited. I had to add A LOT of people I have never talked to before and I always like doing that because I LOOOOVE playing with people that don't know how I play and also getting to know clean people and starting with a clean slate! The only people I had added on my tribe are Jay and Ali and I LIKE that!   I'm excited to talk to people, scope everyone out a little and see what I need to do.  This game and the theming is SO CUTE and I can't wait to see what all happens next!

- https://youtu.be/MY-s5k1n7sI

why is my tribe all these musty men and ruthie what did i do to deserve this.

https://youtu.be/LPxSC_ZjZIc

https://youtu.be/ojw9T8GsbaA

-That 36 person cast twist not being real...big disappointment, I was hoping for a huge mess where someone cries. But 20 people, good size. My tribe seems like good people so this should be exciting.

- So we lost the first immunity challenge. Seems like it’s unanimous for John to go. Works for me as he is who I wanted out when I woke up this morning since we hadn’t spoken. He keeps saying he wants someone who was weak in the challenge out and didn’t tell me a name but told Rachel, Bodhi. Funny thing is, John did worse in his challenge than anyone in the quotes group so therefore his own logic can be used against him.

-AHHHHHHHHHHH MY PEOPLE ARE HERE I DON"T KNOW WHO I WANNA WORK WITH. There is king ali, my bae Austin, bestie jay, and really old time friend Collin in this one tribe. I'm not even counting people on the other tribe. I'm gonna lose so hard. I'm crying tho

-When I was meeting my tribe for the first time I was thinking that we have a very good group here. I'm glad to see Bodhi again cuz I haven't seen him since Trinity: P&P a few months ago. I think that with the additions of Birch and Keegan to our tribe I think we're gonna win some challenges. So I'm hoping for the best and not the worst for this team.

- So we're all waiting for the results of the 1st challenge, and I'm feeling a little nervous that my tribe may lose, but I'm hoping that we do win because I want this season to start off on a good note for my tribe. I'm just hoping that we pull this off and not blow this.

-the way i was offered a final 2 within minutes of joining the tribe chat. hopefully this ages well and you get to see me and bodhi succeed :)

- John is too damn messy and has got to go. PERIODT.

https://youtu.be/L1-ZBhnUQ7U

-I love my Tribe!! I'm super excited to play with Keegan and Timmy again! I'm trying to get closer with everyone else since I haven't played with them before. I'm also kinda nervous for the challenge. I have a weird taste in music so we will see how this goes. I really hope I'm not first boot. I haven't had good placements in my last couple of games, so I'm hoping for better this time! This cast is iconic.

-So my mom got my drunk before the challenge and then tried guilting me into not doing the challenge. we flopped anyway. we are currently pulling ahead in the Movie challenge but it's still early so idk. I really hope we can get the next 2 challenges. I don't wanna be first boot.  

- Ahoy matey! me got cursed t' only talk like a pirate in thar tribe chats n' me alliance chat. So me’m doing dis confession like a pirate. So anyway. me’m in a alliance Wit' Keegan n' Jess. As far as me know our jolly crew only verily talked t' each other. So dis works out. Our jolly crew also lost which SUCKS. me verily hope me’m nay first boot. me might sail after John. All me conversations wit' him be painful. So that’s fun. me like all hands so dis will hard. But let’s see what happens! Birch signing off.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Iq3ANGs8M&feature=youtu.be

- Here’s the Tea Link: https://youtu.be/X3J2e4ffmiY

- https://youtu.be/Q80k6g4QUIk

Kinda bummed the movie challenge didn’t go so well hope we don’t have to go to tribal this early

-Hello hello! I am SO happy to be back in atomic Survivor! I feel like things are off to a really nice start and I'm hoping that will continue. For now I'll do a little assessment of my tribe before we find out results for the first challenge. Ali - I've seen him around in the community a lot for years, im pretty sure I was around when he played his first game. But I don't remember if I've ever had the chance to actually play WITH him. He's such a nice guy I've loved talking with him so far Austin - Lmao the funny thing is I actually talked to him for the first time ever like a week ago. A real lucky break that he and I were both part of this casting twist. We immediately started talking and agreed to look out for each other. Cindi - this is my first time meeting her ever! She seems really rad and we've just been talking about life and tattoos and shit lmao. I can definitely see myself working with her in the future. Collin - y'all I LOVE Collin. I just played with him in Mesopotamia, and even though he voted me out I never had any bitterness towards him cause he's just that nice. He's definitely been the person I've talked to the most so far. We have a lot in common and I really want to trust him. But I am still a bit wary bc of Mesopotamia. Czern - I don't really have a read on him yet. Haven't spoken to him too much. Dan - Same as Czern but I haven't spoken to Dan at all Vi - Vi is such a ray of sunshine, I've loved her ever since I met her in Tashirojima. In fact my biggest mistake in that game IMO was voting her out. I'm 100% working with her this time. Ruthie - It's been so long since I've talked to Ruthie and I'm so glad that this game gives me the chance to reconnect with her. An absolute legend and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't talked strategy with her yet but that'll come soon lol Timmy - Yo he DESTROYED that music challenge and I'm super grateful for that. I've talked to him a little bit and he's pretty nice but I don't really have any further opinions on him lol

- Reallllly glad we didn't have to go to tribal tonight. I've been really busy today so it would've been a really rough time. But instead I got to enjoy my day, but of course I socialized with my tribe. I feel really close with Collin, Ali, and Ruthie. Granted those are relationships that started outside of this game, but they're relationships nonetheless. I really vibe with Austin too, even though I talk to him a little less, we're bonded through that opening twist. And the best thing is Austin mentioned vibing with all those people + Vi (who's great as well, I just haven't talked any strategy with her yet) so I smell an alliance starting sometime soon. I just feel really well about the start of this game and im hoping it can last.

-First confessional of the season! I debated making a video but then I realized that's a lore more work and harder for me to have actual organized thoughts. Going back to the start of the game: I know RACHAEL, BIRCH, CHIPS, JAY, VI, CINDI, DAN and RUTHIE. The only person I don't know anything about is CZERN. So I've got a pretty stacked cast of people I can potentially work with moving forward. But I currently have three goals for this season: 1. Make the merge or swap so I can play with VI. Even if we don't work together, I'd love to play with her! She rules! 2. Make sure JAY gets voted out before myself. As a fellow winner, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. 3. Make sure DAN gets voted out before myself. He's a sneaky snake and I won't ever trust him after Nova Scotia. First off, I'm in an awesome alliance with BIRCH and JESS. It's only three people so it's not a clear majority but it's a good start. We formed this literally 10 minutes after the challenge had ended. Speaking of the challenge, it was a fun challenge but we did lose. However, JESS, RACHAEL, CHIPS and myself were the only ones who won our portion of the challenge, so I've been subtly hinting that I wouldn't feel right if any of us were voted out. GAVIN told me that TIMMY and BODHI didn't contribute much of anything to their part of the challenge, so that's a possible decision when it comes to this tribal. However, JOHN has been very difficult to have a conversation with and I've been told that him and BODHI won't vote for each other. So right now it's just working with JESS and BIRCH to determine what the best option is moving forward. I'm thinking I can get RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN on board with whatever we decide. Tune in later for some more thoughts.

-I wanna say it’s be super eventful but not really. Just a few small things: CHIPS has been telling everyone everything. He told JOHN he was the vote. He told JESS about the GAVIN thing. He needs to learn to keep things to himself if he doesn’t want to be gone next. JOHN tried throwing ZACH under the bus for not being good in challenges. I had a call with BODHI and apparently ZACH is a comp beast. So that’s not happening. If everything is as planned JOHN should be the unanimous vote. I might throw a stray vote on CHIPS just in case of an idol play but I’m undecided.

So this round I got super close with Austin and Collin, and close with cindi, and okay close with everyone else. I killed it in the music challenge because I  did not feel confident I wouldn’t go home if we lost. I need to tighten my bonds and hopefully make a solid group before the next round. I have no real targets atm but Ruthie and I have yet to speak so that’s awkward. I kinda wish I was on the other tribe because I feel like I’d vibe with them better. I had to make sure I was the first to go into the treehouse because I wanted to be open and transparent about what happens in there and make sure that nobody else got to go in and change what actually happens. I’m very excited for the next few rounds tho!

https://youtu.be/e_oVLgNr4ro

Okay so first round is going pretty good so far . I cant believe they put me on a tribe with vi which is amazing bc ride or die right there. I know ali vi collins and jay are def ppl I wanna work with in this game . I mean my whole tribe is great . Dan I know is a wild card and he seems like he wants to work together but I'm not sure if I can fully trust him since he did vote me out last seasons with telling me a damn thing . Cindi was almost in my duplicity season I'm on production for so I know her a bit as well. I know she would probs go with Rachael at a swap or merge which is dangerous .THANK GOD we won the first immunity and I dont have two sorry about a vote bc if I'm honest it would be HARD to decide on a name . Let's see what happens tho I'm ready to play and ready to win

Honestly it seems pretty slow starting. Just working on getting to know the tribe at this point. I really like Collin and Ali but beyond that I'm not getting like amazing vibes from the others. I'm not getting bad vibes either though, just neutral positive vibes if that makes sense

okay, so i have been focusing on getting to know my tribe-mates the past few days because in this game, connections are your lifeline. but, i also didn't want to come off too strong and be perceived as "too social" from the get-go *cough* keegan the snake *cough*. so, i laid back, talked to people (some more than others), and tried to focus on winning immunity. unfortunately, when immunity slipped through our fingers, i quickly got to work socializing and making sure i wasn't the one to be blamed for our loss in our challenge. i felt that i contributed a lot and tried to start discussions and debate about our quotes, and felt as though i didn't get much back from my team. so, i made sure that people knew my group wasn't very communicative and had they communicated more, we could have totally won. i didn't push for a name to begin the round, but i did make sure to let people know who i hadn't talked to in hopes of getting one of their names on the chopping block this round. i made sure to reach out to everyone (even those who didn't reach out to me or seem invested in the game, nor our conversations) because i don't want someone to spread my name as a result. then, it seemed to narrow down to john and timmy. also, it was obviously leaning towards john leaving this round. however, it was not until about a few hours before day change that john had FINALLY heard that his name was going around due to the fact that it was TRULY IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO HIM. funnily enough, this information came directly from chips--someone who i haven't talked to much. thankfully for me, john decided to tell almost everyone exactly what chips had said and no one was pleased to hear that. so, i worked my magic and made sure people were upset that chips tried to throw us all under the bus--because i need to make sure there is a target for next round that isn't me... DUH! later, i asked john what he wanted to do, and he sat there completely clueless. i was completely dumbfounded at his reluctance to say a name when his ass was CLEARLY on the line. eventually, i worked a name out of him, and he said bodhi (who was the only one who wanted to keep him earlier today)... so i obviously went right to bodhi and made sure he knew so i could build some trust with him going forward in this game since talking to john literally made me lose brain cells by the minute, i wanted to make sure he was the one leaving tonight. so, i am hoping everything goes according to plan at tribal tonight, but as long as i don't leave, i am golden with whatever. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl

So basically I'm not in town right now... and IbhopenI can trust people not to vote me until I get back and am less busy. I really bombed the challenge by getting 0 points for my tribe but we won that part... because the other people carried. Good stuff. Anyway we are voting John because he doesn't communicate well and has kind of mansplained the potential different vote? If its true then woohoo I got another round. Also! I got am advantage from idol hunt and thats nifty. 

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Click HERE to watch both out PREGAME and ROUND ONE cast assessments!

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 12: “Phase One: Get the Grandma’s Boys Back Together” - Jones

I have thoughts.

1 I still feel bad for telling Tom to fuck off but also,,,,, I don’t ???

2 I hate that I’m the one who has to apologize to *****these men***** when they were the ones who apparently threw me under the bus in the first place

3 I miss Julia

Ok I don’t feel like doing the number thing anymore that shits dumb.

Um if Mitch is gonna let an alliance slide through the cracks again he’s not playing hard like he said, he’s just playing dumb and out of fear. Benj is probs gonna do whatever Mitch says tho so maybe it’d be better sooner or later to get one of them out before we split up the Jason/Tom/Ali trio

Speaking OF,, Julia went out saying that that trio is the biggest threat to win, but that’s only true about like,,, only Ali SKSKKDKF to me it’s kinda clear that Jason and Tom are Ali’s goats and they’re gonna be the easiest to beat for him in a F3/2 situation. Ali is by far the biggest threat to win and probably has been since Alex got voted out. Bc who doesn’t love Ali yk??? It’s gonna be hard to get him out but I feel like at least my 100% people (Caeleb and Mo as of this vote) would be down to vote him if he was the biggest threat.

Um also ??? These guys REALLY think Alex left with the durmitor idol???? Which is SO shocking because I cannot keep a secret for my life and I’m so easy to read. But um that’s a plus for me tho so woohoo? I’m not gonna tell anyone else ab it tho Bc,,,, obviously. This cast is messy as fuck I don’t want anyone else that I DONT trust to know about it. So I’m happy that my little inner durmitor triangle are the only ones that know.

I think this is mostly me rambling at this point so i’m gonna sign off I think.

okay so I really did a crap job of confessing last round, so I have a lot of catch-up to do.

so first off, i think i already confessed about this, but i have TWO IDOLS NOW jklasdfaf, the budva idol and the merge sapphire idol. like assuming i play them right, i can fast track myself to F6 already, which is SO EXCITING.

also... last vote was such a mess. so after the last vote, where i was left out-ish, in that Jones/Caeleb/Benj told me what was happening, but don't know that each other told me. Me and Julia (who was truly left out) talked, and I was genuinely hoping to group up with her. Benj suggested a F4 of me/him/Tom/Julia last round, and I was SO DOWN. Like I've genuinely wanted to work with Julia all season, I should have told her about the Alex vote, but I've been with her this whole time, so its frustrating what happened next.

So... I'm on call and Mo/Mitch tell me to vote Julia, and I agree, knowing I'm lying because I'm in a chat with Jason/Julia/Tom where we are trying to vote off Mo or Jones. But then Mo being shady, and I literally told Julia this to, tells Julia that everyone is voting her out, and Jones says Tom is who threw Julia's name out.

Julia. Goes. Nuclear. She goes on call, outs the alliance, says we are all shady and tries to blow up our games. I'm REALLY frustrated that she did that, because Mo/Mitch were literally voting her and we were stopping it, but she let them mist her. Also... I didn't want to vote Tom or Julia, they are both outsiders, as am I, and we needed each other. Tom/Julia were both not apart of the Jules vote, we just had a fight amongst the outsiders which... dumb.

Once Julia did that, I was sure Tom was gone, I was totally sure. But Tom managed to flip Mitch, which good for him. But I don't know how he did that, getting Mitch to vote with me, when Mitch has been paranoid about me above everyone else. But now... Mitch will likely be suspicious of me, Jones/Mo will know for sure that I'm targeting them, and I'm no closer to breaking up that group.

So now I'm confident I'll need to use the idol to fracture that group. A scenario I could see happening and working, is next round maybe Mitch/Jones/Mo/Benj and maybe Caeleb vote me, Tom/Jason vote Jones/Mo and I vote the other, which means my sapphire idol can both save myself and break up that group. I'll have to stay tuned on that one though.

This reward challenge flash game is very annoying, so I'm probably not gonna win. Considering how much I popped off for the last immunity, if I win two in a row, it might cause me problems. Hopefully the immunity challenge is do-able, because if I win that, I'm guaranteed a spot in FINAL SEVEN YAY.

I haven't done one of these in a while, but ideal bootlist moving forwards:

Jones > Mitch > Jason > Caeleb > Mo > F3: Me/Tom/Benj or F2: Me/Benj

And if I am voted out eighth, the order in which I would vote for people at FTC:

Mitch > Jason > Caeleb > Benj > Jones > Tom > Mo

also just wanna stay like... how much i stan jones? like we literally have not voted together pretty much at all across merge... but we stan?

she is just so much fun, like our game relationship... is fragile at best, but on a personal level I am and will remain a Jones WARRIOR.

Omg I no longer have the most votes cast for me cuz now Tom does. Even though 2 of Tom's votes are HIMSELF the bafoon.

I was not surprised to see Julia go last tribal. I of course did not vote for her, but her craziness kinda sealed her deal. Plus theres the curse within the curse of where someone who gets cursed initially also goes home (Alex, Jules, Julia). Lmao. But seriously, I voted Tom and he got really sad because we had a good thing going, but at the time no one was willing to be cemented on Julia, but Mo and Jones were cemented on Tom. So I went with the "confidence" and voted what I knew was more certain. However, Ali and Benj and Mitch all voted Julia. Ali and Benj are my closest allies so they let me know before tribal, but Mitch is a flip always been so. The two of them (Ali and Benj) are playing very well which makes me nervous. I either have to take control back in this game or start voting them off, even if that makes me a little cut throat. My other option is to let them vote off Mo next time (Benj's idea) and then have them drag me along and lose in FTC. Instead I think I'm going to get Mo, Jones, and Me to vote Mitch next round (taken he doesn't have immunity), with maybe Ali and maybe Tom but I think 4 might be enough. Then next round I work with Benj and Jason and Ali and Tom to vote out Mo. That puts me back in a strong position (I THINK BUT TRULY IM NERVOUS WITH ANY VOTE AND ALL VOTES IM JUST PRETENDING TO KNOW WHAT IM SAYING). I just hope Tom doesn't have it out for me after last time. That could make things hard, and I'll have to navigate trying to get Benj to wait to vote Mo and telling Jason, Benj, and Mitch a wrong vote.

I’m genuinely feeling confident in my score of 10 guesses, I don’t know what’s considered a good score but for me this is stunnin

Oh Jones, Caeleb and Benj tied for a score of 8? That’s cool... Happy for them... In all seriousness though I think Ali might of screwed himself over by doing the challenge drunk because this may very well be our lucky chance to get out a comp beast.

So... I didn't win immunity, which is a shame, but also probably good news, since if I won three challenges in a row, people would likely try and vote me at every opportunity.

I feel like I'm going to need to play one of my idols this round, which... is unfortunate, but also like kinda exciting? I think the ideal situation is that I play the sapphire idol, maybe in a way that since Tom/Jason have exposed votes, if Caeleb/Benj/Mitch/Jones/Mo vote me, and Tom/Jason vote one of Jones or Mo, I vote the other and send them home with one vote.

However, I'm not 100% sure I'll be getting votes, just since Caeleb and I are super close, so I don't see him super wanting to vote for me. I feel like if the plan was to vote Ali, Mitch would tell Benj, who would tell me, or Caeleb might not be down. Regardless, I'm very much expecting to have to pull out an idol tonight!

If I get my way tonight, I want Jones and Mo split up. As people, we love them both, but as players right now, they are too connected and have too much sway. If I got my way, I would want Jones out, since I think she is the glue between the Caeleb/Mo/Mitch, so would defo be worth getting out.

Just realised that if I play the sapphire idol, it gets rehidden which I do not want, so I might just have to play the budva idol if I'm getting votes tonight, which is frustrating but I'll have to deal with it sighhhh.

ding dong the witch is dead (ur welcome johnny)

confessing this because my brain is SO BIG, and I clocked this on call. Caeleb is the boyfriend of Matt who just won Kuwait. MY MIND IS SO POWERFUL

I've been meaning to write this all day but Tom fell asleep on call and I've been distracted the whole time. SO here we are

I'm also typing this out with Google whatever the f*** is Google voice??? So it might sound a bit robotic just bare with me here LOL.

but literally yesterday while I was doing the trash at work I was brainstorming probably one of my favorite moves I've ever and probably will ever accomplish ever?? I'm very excited about it, because it seems like it's going underway,,, like it might work?? and knowing my luck this shouldn't be happening but here we go,,

So phase one: get the Grandma's boys back together. So like,,, me Caeleb and Mo. we basically already trust each other with our entire hearts anyway and besides the Alex but we've stuck together on everything? So we might as well get the band back together you know what I mean? also they're probably the three people I trust the most and the three people that I really want to go to the end with for sure so that's how I'm feeling about that. Check that off the list.

Phase 2: get Mitch and Benj to possibly spill who the other side is voting for and or get them to vote for Tom or Jason. because quite frankly Benj and Mitch are a very obvious power duo and have floated through the middle the entire time and they've been together the entire game so it feels kind of obvious that they're working together. Plus benj told Mitch the plan about voting out Caeleb premerge, so it just feels like it's been a thing forever. call go to be honest thinking about it now, I feel is though we're going to figure out who Jason and Tom are voting for anyway because they do have to vote in advance? So as long as Benj and Mitch vote for who we tell them for, then phase 2 will be a success.

Phase 3: grandma's boys vote,,,,, ALI!!!!! sorry to say, Ali is by far the biggest threat in the game and probably has been for a long time? Not only is he amazing in challenges , but he has like one the best social games ?? Ever???? So no one would Want to vote out Ali, but it's like,,, the best move I think to do now . Esp bc he doesn't have immunity.

And then,,,,, optional step 4: play my idol. That way,,, we can guarantee that a tie scenario doesn't happen,, and then in the split Ali would theoretically go w 3, but if an idol is played either way on them, one of those two will go. SO YA HOPEFULLY THIS PLAN ACTUHLY WORKS HAHAHAHAHA

Update!!! So like I think im in an ok spot. I was the sole vote to send home Julia because I found her unpredictable and she voted me the round previously so.... This vote should be between tom and one of jones/mo/caeleb because they are an obvious trio and im pretty sure one of them has an idol. If there is an idol played and it is flushed, the trio of mo/caeleb/jones is broken up. If it isnt flushed, we intend to do a 3-3-2 with Benj Ali Tom Jason and I splitting between two of them. Id prefer if Jones stays because I feel like I have the best connection with her out of the three, but I also fear that they have gotten closer and closer ever since we have merged. We will find out what happens shortly because as of now, there is still no definitive plan

[survivor-islands-of-adventure]

EPISODE 11

So I really pushed for it and it happened, Madison is officially gone and that’s one less person I gotta suck up to. But now mark is pissed at me. WHY WOULD WE VOTE KAREN OFF. She does not have a strong game, she’s floundering, she’s a prefect goat to take to the end. But whatever! Be as mad as you want. I was trying to help us both. But you just wanna be a big MAN BABY because I’m not letting you run this game. Remember how I said I wanted to run this and take no prisoners- well it’s now in full fuckin swing. I’ll do anything to get to the end. Even if that means cutting off mark, my number one ally. I’m actually super upset because I feel like he won’t be my friend anymore and wow I need to stop rambling whatever goodnight goodbye Goodluck 

I did a confessional before i got a strike lmaoooo I won immunity bitches time for revenge in Madison’s name. I’d love to just take out Tracey’s boring ass this round but there’s bigger threats in the game and unfortunately she’s not a threat to anyone or anything ever so let’s hope we can actually flush stoners idol this round and take out dan or drew 

I didn't win immunity but i beat Drew the legend's score so im really happy about that. Tonight's plan is to tell people we're voting dan but actually vote drew, so I'm hoping it's seamless and not a fucking trainwreck like it has been. We're also trying to get Chris to use his idol. Lastly, im not sure i trust charlie atm. Mark wants her in on the Drew vote but im nervous that she might spill. 

mark brought up a good point, but pat could potentially play the sapphire idol this round or the next for a big move, and with the way the game is going, one of these two tribals is probably the time to play it to try and swing some momentum back in his favor while also making a big move to add to his resume. just ideas™ in my head

Another fucking mess vote. Will I vote Drew? Maybe. Will I vote Chelsea? Maybe. Am I getting blindsided? Maybe. Idk it just feels weird. I feel like people are talking a lot but not a lot at the same time. Like we’re all beating around the bush. Let’s hop to it ladies. I’ll proabbly turn on Drew this week, I hope that doesn’t effect anything with Stoner in this game or the other game I’m in with him.

I'm writing another log because I'm so nervous for tonight once again. Idk why but I'm skeptical about Pippa being included in our voting information because I think she is secretly spying for Chris. The other night I told Pippa that I might vote Chris and not even a minute later, he messages me saying "I heard I'm getting votes against me." Coincidence? Idk. I want to be able to network and work with people but I don't know who to trust. Pat and Mark are pretty cool, but even Sammy I'm a little bit worried about. On the same night with the Pippa situation, I got a message from Chris telling me that Sammy asked him if he would vote me. So, now I'm not sure if Chris was just baiting me to start a fight, or if Sammy might also be working with Chris. Fuck. 

This round is a mess but honestly, I’m like so here for it. I’m lowkey hoping Pat hits the bricks bc I told Drew he’s getting all the votes. I can’t wait to get voted out hahahahahaha. That would be so fucking funny. Everyone thinks Chris has the idol, but Drew does :~)

so this round has been very boring. Everyone is being predictable and sticking with their comfort.  However I really want to switch things up and stop giving Tracey stoner and Chris so much power. Tracey just keeps coming to me to get information and it's low-key annoying cause like obvs I know she is working w Chris and Drew.  Like she could be making power moves but she has not worked w me once and keeps like not going w anything I tell her. lmao whatever.

I feel like I have my little baby hands in every honey pot in this game. I’m the swing vote but I’m also deciding who it swings on. I’m letting Mark and drew think they’re picking who the vote is, but I’m whispering in their ears ehehhehe. Hopefully drew goes home tonight and stoner uses his idol

So uhhhhh last tribal was iconic skdndkndkdnd it actually worked and I'm still here ??????? Anyway nothing new has really happened so yeah :/ but um the others are flushing chris' idol and me drew and Chris are voting for Sammy. Also I need to keep an eye on dan because he still seems like a flip flopped skcjfkfnfj

CONFESSIONAL: This week is supposed to go smoothly. My alliance of sammy chelsea and mark is going well. I trust them a lot. With my alliance members getting voted out its easier for them to want to vote for me in the end. I miss madison but we have to keep moving forward to eliiminate drew, chris and tracey. i CANNOT STAND THEM. especially tracey. if she takes me out i will actually cry. No matter what happens atlast i have majority. and it seeeeeeems like people are noticing me and I realllllyyyy like that. Like if they keep going for chelsea and mark Its going to be amazing. This is literally how I won my BB game so I think this is a good way to get myself into the same position

OKAY SO SOMEHOW the concept of voting out madison actually worked?? Charlotte's interest in playing both sides was so incredible and useful in the last minute. Rip Ricky btw, i hope by the time this comes out, things are better for him. So the challenge was firedragon, which means i lost right the fuck away. So once again, a brilliant idol play was necessary. I'm bitter af that it couldn't be Chelsea ...but sammy probably was the better call. But now i'm stuck, F8, no idol, very little hope. It's nearing the end of the road but honestly making it this far is a triumph in itself.

SAMMY IS VOTED OUT

I’m shook. This is my third individual immunity win. My target is definitely growing but I still feel like I’m playing a reasonable game. I would love for Pat to use his Sapphire idol this week bc I would be safe regardless, but honestly Drew is the easy vote. The only thing that sucks is that he knows Pat has the Sapphire idol and if I flip, he could easily tell Pat or others about me telling him. I could do some damage control this week and tell Pat that Drew asked me if Pat had won the power and I said idk. And act like drew knew where everyone competed and it’s wideled down to Pat possibly having it. That’s a little risky but if it comes out that Drew told Pat I told him about the idol, it could save me and I can easily back pedal and say that Drew has a lucky guess. But at the same time, why would Drew lie if he was going out the door hnnnnn. It’s best if Pat doesn’t feel safe this week/thinks it’s gonna go to rocks. I think I could push a tie narrative by throwing Charlotte under the bus, but we’ll see. Regardless I’m going to the f7 and hopefully I have a solid group of 4 and maybe an idol of my own up my sleeve. 

Okay I literally forgot that prevotes are due tonight; not being in an alliance chat this round made things weird, but iIve been working with Pat, Dan, Mark, and Charlotte to find the idol this entire time. I'm gonna be voting Chris, Tracey, or Drew, but I guess I should be talking to people about that and not idol clues lmfao.

Trying to fucking explain to Pat how his own Sapphire idol works is like trying to explain not being racist to my Uncle Bill. It’s just not....happening. 

So!!!!!! Another tribal another person gone whew it sucka that it had to be sammy bc I actually wanted to work with him a bit but I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in the game. We had touchy subjects this round and I got most annoying which I'm sure I got bc I snapped in the tribe chat that one time JSJDJDJDJ and who doesn't deserve to still be here which is like ????? I get it!!! Y'all wanted me out for so long but you can't your way bc I'm smarter but w/e!!!! They can stay hatin ! I think I got most likely to get to the end and win or lose idk but I like my odds tbh rkdjdofnfk so this round will prob end being split 4-4 which is exciting bc it means we'll prob be going to rocks !!!! I'm nervous about being rocked out but hey at least it'll be exciting lol. I'm hoping after this round or next round to get dan out tho, he's playing a superb game and it'd be a great move to take him out t b h

Eek I really hope drew finally goes home! Glad I won funniest tbh! Haha! I’ll make a longer confessional later! I’ll prob be sent home tonight oh whale

I LOST THE CHALLENGE I DON'T HAVE AN IDOL This should spell death for me. It really should. it probably still will. But I have three people willing to vote with me, two willing to pull a rock for me. So far, at least. A lot of shit changes when the revote is upon us. There's also Pat's sapphire idol to think about. I'm honestly not expecting to make it through this round but if I do, there are only four rounds left to go. Four rounds, it's not that much. We're trying to vote Pat because making me and Pat both safe was the best way to keep Dan on board with the plan. That and the fact that he won immunity and wouldn't pull a rock. Also I got biggest threat and needs to go next. These whores really know how to flatter a bitch.

IM FINALLY VOTING TRACEY OUT.. too bad shes not actually going home bc Pat has the reward from the dark week. He started getting nervous with his name apparently going around this vote and only charlotte or dan would need to flip to cause rocks/send pat home. So Pat is safe with his idol but it cancels votes for the top 2 vote getters. So we had to maneuver the votes so Tracey is actually the second vote getter and Drew is the 3rd so Drew goes home. Me Dan Pat and Chelsea searched every name in survivor history on the blog for the clues to the idol, and then searched those numbers. We dont have it yet but should soon. Touchy subjects was interesting. Apparently i really am perceived to be running this game, not sure how that happened. But hopefully if i get to the end after "running the game"  since merge thatll make up the lack of social game i have compared to some of the people left in the game.

[whambamthankyoubram]

ALL OF THEM IM A NOSEY BITCH

YOU ALWAYS DO THIS

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? MORE CEREAL THAN MILK OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT SATAN

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No bc my cheeks are cold as hell and I need warmth

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I fold the corners or put little mailings/postcards in them, whatever I have laying around!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea, nothing; coffee, milk only!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes :( There’s a gap in my teeth and I hate it. I wish my teeth were perfect.

6: do you keep plants? Nope.

7: do you name your plants? Can’t name the plants you don’t keep, my dude

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Uhhhh...no?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? YES all the time.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? 

12: what's your favorite planet? Pluto bc it is still a planet okay

13: what's something that made you smile today? My boyfriend’s Snapchats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Messy af

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “In space, the skin on your feet peels off.” EW SPACE WTF

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? MMMMMM any pasta tbh I’m Italian I will eat anything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I love my hair color the way it is now!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. My ex never let me forget the time I was passed out on his couch, and I woke up intermittently before falling back asleep. He was watching Rush Hour. I asked him, (HALF ASLEEP MIND YOU), Oh, is this the movie with Chris Rock and Bruce Lee? (I’m awful).

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I write my thoughts and crazy paranoia in there boyyyyyeeeee

20: what's your favorite eye color? BROWN

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Uhhhhh it’s a longchamp bc I’m a white girl

22: are you a morning person? Not really

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Not sure

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? I’ve never broken into anything omg

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My Uggs, because I’m a white girl

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Mint

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? My BFF giggles sometimes when she talks and idk it’s cute

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Fuck yes, have you ever seen a spider? In your shower? Without your glasses on? 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS! When I get socks for Christmas I get so excited. I can fall asleep with socks on, but at some point in the night, they’re coming off my feet lol.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I ate pizza while I was drunk #wowimsocool

33: what's your fave pastry? Cinnamon buns, does that count?

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Winnie the Motherfuckin Pooh. No :( He fell in the mud and I had to throw him out bc the washer couldn’t fix him

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Fuck yeah I do!

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Noooo clue tbh

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean, but it’s always a mess

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when the President sniffs into the microphone while he’s delivering some sort of address, blow ur nose next time or stop doing coke

39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? Nose ring, no special meaning I just really like it

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? An Abundance of Katherines bc I fucking love the shit out of John Green

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Not really tbh

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Probably my bf

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? The other night, at the beach! So pretty :)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I couldn’t think of any, next question

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Aerosol cheese

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Bugs, yes, ew

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Don’t remember!! I bought the first Glee soundtrack when it came out LOL

50: what's an odd thing you collect? Socks?

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate “All Night” by Chance the Rapper w my bf

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Salt bae for sure

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Beetlejuice was the only one, I watched a little of Pulp Fiction - they were both ok

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My friend :( she’s ok now but I saw her the other night and she was upset

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Not sure 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Laughter and the way people get excited over things

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It made me feel like I’ve been having too much sugar tonight tbh

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I’M THE WINE MOM!!!! I am the wine QUEEN ok that’s all I ever drink. My bff is the vodka aunt, but she lives miles apart from me so we rarely drink together nowadays 

59: what's your favorite myth? Dude? I don’t have one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot. 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? I got a really ugly hat once, and I gave a really ugly hat once, at the same Christmas exchange party 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Hell no I’m a living mess

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yes, my bff 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Mad lilies! They’re my fav flower

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Depressed and tired tbh

68: what's winter like where you live? Cold but not too cold bc you know global warming

69: what are your favorite board games? Scrabble!!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yes lol

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? ANY KIND! Right now I’m really feeling ginger turmeric from Trader Joe’s, though, soooo good

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? YES.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Uhhh not going to bed early enough lol

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. This person is a HUGE JARLEY FAN and super adorbs!!! Hates Mon-El and LOVES TO RANT ABOUT IT AND I LOVE THIS PERSON REGARDLESS 

75: tell us about your pets! So I have a dog, he’s almost 12 years old which is really depressing bc he’s probably going to pass on soon :( I’m obsessed with him and love him so much!!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Yeah, taking my bra off why am I still wearing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade? PINK, always

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hate club, get them the fuck away from me

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? One of my old boyfriends learned how to knit for me which I thought was very sweet

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Aqua! Because I like it?

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. “Comets.”

82: are/were you good in school? Not really

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ohhhh I know this, I love Californication’s album art so much

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have seven!!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Wat

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? The Lion King, BITCH

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not really

89: are you close to your parents? Yes

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. NEW YORRRRRK. Concrete jungle where dreams are destroyed you’ll never get anywhere go back to long island

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Somewhere over the summer, not sure where yet tho

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? In the middle

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Top knots bc I’m lazy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The Weeknd LOL

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Date night, then I’m not sure!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Ohhh I procrastinate so much

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Not sure about the Myer-Briggs type, but I’m a scorpio + Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Yes! I think in November. It was chilly, but a lot of fun

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

One Headlight - The Wallflowers (listening now)

Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Love Drought - Beyonce

Under the Bridge - RHCP

Strip My Mind - RHCP

Literally anything by RHCP

Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips (I cry literally every time I listen to it)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither, because I am choosing to live in the MOMENT :) 

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 15: “i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win” - Scott

So the reward challenge has been revealed. A little bit nervous tbh. However I do have a plan, I’d probably call Danielle. Because I feel she would have the best read on how the jury is feeling. She has sat there for the longest time. So her views are most likely the views of most people. So having her knowledge of the jury will be useful. First I have to win this challenge which I think I’m capable of winning, so fingers crossed I can win this.

THE CAT IS FINALLY OUT OF THE BAG HOLYYY LMAAAOOAO

i finally got to play it.. it didnt do anything. but. it secured me f4 just incase anything did happen!! LAMJFNFHBG. ugh. i love it tho... everyone takes me to the end i think which makes me lowkey queef LMAOAOAOOA :):)

hope yall r proud of meeeee :flushed:

I MADE FINAL 4. I’m so shocked and happy with myself. I broke my personal placement record and it’s so exciting. Unfortunately though I get to move past a milestone at the expense of losing a close ally. I got past eighth but Jones got eliminated. I get past my record but then Tobi gets idoled out. I’m so depressed but it just makes me want to win for them. I’m hearing that it’s a final 2 but it isn’t confirmed. So now I’m thinking who do I want to be sitting in a final 2 with. None of them honestly, they’ve all played great games. But I especially don’t want to sit next to Ryan. He’s done so well in this game and he made a succesful idol play. It would look like if a genius hacker were to sit next to an enthusiastic toddler.

It sucks cus nobody’s said anything since the vote and I really wanna talk to someone because bitch I’m in the top 4 let’s celebrate. I see Tobi online and its like fuCK I CANT CELEBRATE WITH HIM EITHER CUS HES GONE NOW.

its so hard telling eveeryone that im winning

we have a reward challenge on day 36 so i think that means we have a final 3 yayyyy whew. and the reward is the power call w one juror for 10 mins... which makes me kinda anxious ngl so i'm not even sure if i want to win this... but the challenge is Casanova and that is like one the flash games i'm really good at if i need to be so hmmm I'm wondering if i should beast it or not. i think winning it and having the courage to talk to one of them could be a big boost to my game so like... i'm thinking maybe i should just nut up and go for it hm

So I won reward fuck yeah.

This will give me the chance too see how the jury is thinking at the moment.

But with this immunity I am fuckin scared. Cards being stacked into tower formation. Honestly fuck that. I’ve been practicing and am getting there but I need to do this to make sure I have a chance of winning.

it feels so weird bc theres so little to say in confessionals now LOL!

uhm. just hopin for mo not to win ig. :)

So just had a call win Dani. Apparently I have close to 0% chance at winning. Which tbh I’m surprised about. Mo has the best chance? Idk like I want to believe her but it sounds fishy. I just need to feel out and go with Dani it trust my gut.

Rhys won his third immunity which is intimidating but then again he was only participating against me. Reminder I was trying to set up a card house with a tremor, due to my meds my hands shake. BUT I refused to give up and I’m still proud of myself because I know I did the best that I could.

I think this might be the round I’m eliminated. I hope not but apparently Rhys used his Jury call on Dani and Dani said he had the lowest chance of winning and I had the highest chance. Which first of all, REALLY???? ME???? Like thank you but, what? Second of all I need to play very passive right now in hopes that Rhys will stick with his original plan of voting Scott. Tomorrow it’s going to be me or Scott.

i feel bad for abstaining in the final 4 immunity but hnnng i really cant fux with these live challenges so rip. i feel like there's a good chance the jury looks down on my game bc this is like the 3rd challenge i've sat out of hnnng. but i'm glad Rhys won instead of Mo woo for that. it's seeming like it's gonna be a final 2 after all so womp. according to Mo, Rhys says he's voting for either him or Scott so ig I'm sitting in a good spot... although is it bad i was hoping to get another vote to rack up more than 11 overall? lol whatever so yay. i don't have high hopes of winning this game but regardless i'm happy i was able to survive all this time especially w my bae scott <3

Ok so I have a lot of hope right now. I’ll share the messages I sent Rhys because they’ll explain why I’m hopeful. “I just got some info This vote is either going to end in a fire making challenge between Scott and I or with me going home Cus Ryan just said him and Scott have had a tight Final 2 since the beginning so he can’t vote Scott (If you don’t believe me I’m sure he’ll tell you himself if you ask) So I respect your decision of voting for me if you do but I’d be insanely grateful if I was given the opportunity of a fire making challenge I see it like this. If I get to stay, then it’s us two vs Ryan or Scott because I think both Ryan and Scott have played insanely good games So we would have a higher chance of winning immunity But if it’s Scott, Ryan and you in the final three then it’s 1/3 odds. Where as if I stayed it would be 2/3 and if I somehow miraculously won individual immunity I’d take you to the end. It would be the smartest decision for me after hearing what Dani said But then if you win you can take Ryan with you to the end and I’ll end up 3rd Since Ryan and Scott have their final 2 thing” and Rhys agreed to it so tomorrow is going to be a firemaking challenge between me and Scott.

rhys is actually driving me fucking crazy lol... like. its right to vote me out yes. but his reasoning is so FUCKING DUMB. HE GENIUNELY HAS CONVINCED HIMSELF THAT THE JUROR HE CHOSE TO TALK TO LIED TO HIM. LIKE. RLY BITCH? im not getting 4th off of the back of ur fucking goaty ass losing to mo @ ftc ew lmao..

actually ya im not done like rhys is geniunely losing against anyone left for good reason hes been a goat this entire game and thats the entire fucking tea LAMJFBHFG.

i just dont want mo to win... imagine someone who voted wrong like 7/9 times in merge winning. fucking ew. if i leave ryan better win ftc bc hes the only good winner left if i leave like fr. i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win.. LAMNFNFG just ew ew ew ew ew ew..

im not going down tho america... ill pull every trick out of the bag if i have to. if i gotta lie to get a 2-1-1 vote i will. i aint bothered. id rather get 3rd knowing i was gunna win than fucking 4th. i aint knife!!

So like i Won immunity again which is insane. 3rd immunity.

I’ve been thinking about my call with Dani. I realised that if she telling the truth I have no chance. So might as well assume she is lying and have a chance. So I’m being optimistic.

So taking Scott out is my best choice right now. He may have bad jury management but he had played the best game. So I’m voting with Mo against Scott. Realistically Scott is probably going to win. But that gives me a possible vote on the jury.

I told scott that I’m Voting him as there isn’t any point in lying but he is working to stay. But like he needs to go. I can’t fuck up and have him win immunity. So yeah my game could be a shit show it could be nothing I don’t know. Wish me luck I guess.

I’m like legit so sad rn. I know I’ve had literally no chance at winning this game. So I’ve been optimistic trying to take the best road. Which in my mind is voting Scott out. I told him because he like legit my best friend I’ve made in this game and In a lot of games recently.

Now he hates me and has been really aggressive with trying to get me to stay.  Like I’ve told him my reasoning and he just still thinks I’m being stupid. Like yeah I just hate this. Can’t wait for tribal for him to attack me more.

Rhys gettin a lil brave this round after being asleep the whole merge omg. Whatever he heard from Danielle has seriously gone to his head and he's now considering going to the end with Mo ???? i have to laugh... i dont think him tying the vote and making me or Scott firemake is a terrible idea at all, but honey pls dont make me have to vote Mo to win this game flkadsas. It will be such a travesty if Scott and I go out 4th and 3rd god i dont even wanna think about that

god I really didn't expect this jury reward thing to have an actual impact on things??? ugh lol. Rhys a mess PERIODTTTTTT

After a 2-2 vote resulting in a firemaking challenge, Mo loses and gets 4th place.

[haeroniel-doliet]

i need more money to buy little art

honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 

anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 

anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 

lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours. 

[survivor-islands-of-adventure]

EPISODE 9

As frustrating as the blind vote was, Timmy went home, thankfully. There wasn’t a lot of drama or anything, but I still want to touch base with everyone regardless.

Mark made a group chat comprised of all of the original Villains kinda out of nowhere. Named it "OG Villys", which is dangerously close to copyright infringement with the thing I have with Chris and Drew. They're targeting Tracey, which I'm not crazy about. She's really proven herself these last couple of days to me, and I'd rather see a villain go than a civilian.

I knew that "OG Villys" chat was sus. According to Drew, Ricky went rouge and told him that the plan isn't to vote out a Hero, it's to vote out a Civilian. Tracey is just an easy target, and after her, it'll be a domino effect. Not gonna lie, I feel a little betrayed, but at least I've got an excuse to work with the Heroes.

We love tea and our allies winning the special powers! Pat just told me he won the blind reward comp! So exciting. I do consider Pat a very close ally in this game. He has a Sapphire Idol and this is definitely something we can utilize down the road. I knew it would be some cracked ass idol knowing Monty specifically haha. I was worried someone like Sammy or Mark would have it but knowing where it is, is certainly helpful. I feel like I’m in a decent spot in this game, it’s just going to be tricky not being caught on both sides. I have my OG heroes on one side, and my civilian boys on the other side. Realistically Mark or Tracey going doesn’t really negatively impact my game in any shape or form. I think Mark going is big because it’s the first real big move of the game. It could open things up between Sammy and I and other OG villains that didn’t get swapped. It’s also a positive for Tracey to go because I literally have no allegiance to her. She hasn’t told me the truth about my name being thrown around (even tho it was fake) and she honestly just isn’t online as much as she should be to chat. I really don’t know which way I’m voting tonight, but it will likely be what’s best for my game personally without making any waves??? What that is??? Who knows.

Why does Ricky hate me so much like he comes for me in every game we play together, I just don't know what I did to him to make him hate me so much. 

A.T. told me that Mark should go home because we should vote a villain out, but i dont 100% agree with it. Now apparently votes are going for Madison which I 200% don't agree with because apparently Ricky wants her out. Idk who to vote for at this point but it sure as hell isn't for Madison. I might need to vote Mark but I'll still be upset if he leaves. Who else is gonna call me Mami?

So apparently AT is a rat? And so is stoner? And mark could be going home? Like what the hell is happening. I really need Madison or AT to go home and it ain’t fair I don’t get my way all the time ugh! I am perfect! 

Positives I won immunity I'm at least tying my worst placement, hopefully beating it I had a really good hiding spot Negatives: An ally is leaving tonight I have no traction in this game Getting out of double digits is gonna be nearly impossible I spent an entire day of my life defending a fucking hiding spot I'm sad like all the time Why am i here

This week has been fucking crazy. Dan is the only one that know that I TOLD MARK THATVHE WAS BEING TARGETED. And my final goal was to save Madison and mark and I think that me and dan and Chelsea actually pulled it off. I am SO BERVOUS for this vote. This has been one of the most hectic survivor days I have ever had ever. 

Whewwwwww so I survived blind week and timbo is goooooone! He was mad on his way out talking about big moves and stuff gfhgjgjbjh so immunity happened and drew got it which leaves me in a panic bc I feel like vulnerable and obvs my name was brought up but now everything is getting messy and I might be fine after all????? So initially I wanted to go for one of the heroes but then AT came to me and was like we should vote mark instead and I'm like wow he's really goin after his own ppl,?!?! So like Chelsea got wind of this plan and told mark about it which makes me wonder if they are close or if Chelsea wants the villains to self destruct ???? Either way it could keep me safe so idc!!!!!! So like Madison's name has also been brought up but I think with the two boys targeting each other she may be safe too, which sucks bc fuck the heroes but oh well. Anyway in conclusion this tribal is gonna be messy and idk what will happen cyrhdjfgg like my biggest fear rn is that the heroes are tricking both sides of the villains in order for us to split and then they have majority and vote for like me or smth idk if that's even viable at this point but I'm worrying anyway dhdjdjndjd I think my best bet may be with voting for mark but we'll see how it goes 

This week has been fucking crazy. Dan is the only one that know that I TOLD MARK THATVHE WAS BEING TARGETED. And my final goal was to save Madison and mark and I think that me and dan and Chelsea actually pulled it off. I am SO BERVOUS for this vote. This has been one of the most hectic survivor days I have ever had ever. 

okay so i has the hiding spot first bc i saw the rule where if you had it for an hour then like u win. So i was like okay y’all like I’m about to pop off and win this thing. Then the rule got changed  and I was like oop and pmed drew telling him to take it and he could have it LMAO. I didn’t tell anyone that tho bc I don’t want people to think I’m working w him. I wanna trust drew so badly but i know how smart he is and how he can snap crackle and pop my neck in a sec. so i ended up sleeping really good bc i didn’t care about the challenge bc i don’t think I’m in any real danger. In order to win this game tho i need to make some power moves. I really want to separate myself from mark even tho we have f2 but like i wanna be f2 with Dan or like Tracey or something. Or Charlotte/pippa. I just know that mark has a target on his back and i could potentially get one on mine by association. I have barely talked to any of the heroes so i gotta up my social game. Also AT has annoyed me a lot and I have my little alliance the suggestion of voting him out and they legit just turned it down. UMM NO YALL, I’ve been through this before and I’m not going through another alliance where what i day doesn’t matter. By the end of the night I’ll get what i want. That put up a red flag for me bc it shows that the alliance isn’t really like showing thought about my plan and that madison should go home tonight. I low key didn’t care much for madison and the start bc like we don’t talk but i want to work with her and like pat more. Umm i think that’s all that has happened but I’ve heard several names(Madison/Mark/Dan/AT/Tracey) as long as it ain’t me I’m good HOLLA.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol andrew? ANDREW? fucking andrew tried to get me out. my goodness what a terrific joke that was. The second he brought my name up every hero came to me and told me. the best part is im not close with any of them other than pat lol. then he tried to be cute on call and i shut that down too. imagine how embarrasing that mustve been. so confident on call for absolutely nothing. the only thing that might come back at me on that vote was when i told madison that stoner targetted her last round LOL he def didnt do that but im a fucking villain for a reason so yolo. anyways the foursome of me sammy charlotte and ricky is like well known now but im p sure pat and chelsea want me to stick around and work with me. eventually well have to cut ricky so that way me and sammy dont look so suspicious. im gonna try and fade into the background for a couple rounds but that wont happen. if it were up to me the next three votes would be dan drew and then stoner. dan and drew are just such challenge beasts and it breaks up the alliance of chelsea pat dan and madison and stoner is just a flake and does whatever he wants which is scary.  ok im bored of typing bye