#i’m entering into the ovulation part of my cycle if you couldn’t tell | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daisys-gard3n · 3 years ago

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Imagine adopting puppy hybrid jonathon bc "oh hes so sweet " and "hes so un-alpha like" but then the moment you start ovialating he can FUVKIN SMELL IT and it drives him into a rut. You have to call out of work bc he fucks you so many times you cant fucking move your legs. And he feels so bad , but you just prt his head and tell him what a good boy he is.

- @bucci-bitch

You originally adopted him because he looked so sad in that tiny cage they put him and the other puppy hybrids in, and you wanted a good companion. He's normally so well-behaved, like fetching you your newspapers/packages from outside, sitting by you quietly as you watch TV, loves playing ball with you, etc.

The moment you start ovulating, shit hits the fan. Jonathan is bare naked and openly rutting as he whines and howls out the pain he feels from being so aroused. He's humping a pillow with his bright red knot and getting precum all over it, one of your hoodies pressed into his face as he muffles his moans and inhales your scent as he ruts into the pillow. At first, you picked up your 'how to take care of a puppy hybrid guide' to see if there was something you could do for ruts. You read that since puppy hybrids have a better sense of smell than humans, the scent just a human ovulating can overwhelm the of unneutered puppy hybrid. And the only way they can snap out of it is just let the rut's cycle run through, recommending that you find a puppy hybrid of the opposite sex to have them mate and take care of the problem. You tried to call up any of your friends who were willing to let Jonathan use their female puppy hybrid, but they all said no because...Well...Look at him, probably rip them a part.

You enter back into the room where Jonathan is and his head perks up, your scent grabbing his attention as he left the pillow and crawled on his knees towards you. You pet his hair with a sad look on your face, Jonathan is pressing into your touch with want and his knot is very hard and noticeable.

"I'm sorry, Jojo. No one will let me use their female puppies, I can try the shelter and see if they'll let you be with one of them but it's going to take a while-"

"N-No!" Jonathan whimpered, his big puppy eyes really striking at your soul. "I-I don't want them! I-I want Master/Mistress! I-I want you! P-Please play with Jojo, Jojo wants to cum so bad! J-Jojo wants to taste you...You smell so good!" His nose nudges at your crotch as he whines and whimpers, his tail wagging as he's so close to just humping your leg at this point. You couldn't say no to him, especially with how he grabbed at your legs as he whimpered and looked up at you with those large puppy eyes. So you hesitantly said "...Okay?"

Well, now your cunt is being viciously attacked by your sweet puppy, who didn't even wait for you to at least sit down as he rips off your bottoms and latches his mouth onto you. His tongue laps at your clit and he's moaning so loudly against you, the vibrations making the fire in your stomach start to flare up. Jonathan's hands are gripping onto your waist and making you stay in place as he has his way with your pussy until you feel yourself getting so aroused and your clit throbbing at the feeling of his tongue rubbing at it as his tall wags. When you eventually do cum, your hands go into his hair and he's moaning so loud when you pull at his hair. He's still going even after you've came, so you're gonna be overstimulated while puppy gets his taste of you.

He doesn't let you have a break with his cock, either. Recklessly pounding into you from different positions as he whines and blubbers on about how badly he wants to put his puppies inside of you and how you're so tight around his knot. Because he's in a rut, his knot goes down significantly quicker and he's able to go for more rounds quicker. Your hips have bruises from how tightly he holds onto you, your eyes are crossed as you feel the tip of his cock kiss at your sweet spot and form a noticeable bulge in your abdomen. Jonathan can't help but feel so good when he's inside of you, so he ends up cumming so much inside of you that it starts to leak out of your hole despite his cock still plugging you up. He needs to fill you up regardless, he wants you to be so full and make you pregnant with his pups.

"H-Hah! Ahh! Ahhh! Hng, ahhh! M-Master/Mistress! P-Please have my pups! Please please please please-hng! I-I can take care of you, i'll always kiss you a-and love you and and a-and-Aah~! I-I want you so bad! You feel so good! I-I love you so much! I love love love love you so much! Ah, god~! Hngahh~! P-Please have my pups! Please please please~!"

that call into work was very awkward the next day, and you couldn't feel bad when you see Jonathan's ears flop down in sadness because he caused you to be in so much pain...But you ruffle his hair and tell him he's still your good boy. Which then causes him to lick and kiss at your face, eventually his nose nudging at your crotch once more and the cycle continues until he's finally out of his rut.

@whoreiaki-kakyoin @pubby-drabbles pspspsps

#monster au #puppy jonathan #not sfw #pubby

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kpopfanfictrash · 4 years ago

Text

fu-

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jungkook

Word Count: 1,983

Rating: 18+ (sexual imagery)

Summary: An accompanying drabble to Five Dates. This drabble takes place after the events of Five Dates and is Jungkook + accidentally teaching Namjoon’s child a swear word.

[ PART OF MY JUNGKOOK BIRTHDAY DRABBLE GAME ]

Staring at the phone held in his palm, Jungkook contemplated one of the most difficult quandaries of his existence, including that time you asked if he liked your new haircut.

The answer was yes, by the way. The answer was always yes, unless you hinted at no and even then, it was better to be safe than sorry.

Jungkook’s current quandary involved you but was far more serious than any haircut-related inquiry. All you’d sent Jungkook was a singular text. Five words, eighteen letters in total.

Y/N: the line is super dark [8:34 PM]

Re-reading the text, Jungkook felt utter despair. To anyone else, it might seem nonsensical, but you’d been trying to conceive for nearly three months and a dark line meant you were ovulating. This would be their third attempt at getting you pregnant; a feat certainly not helped by your irregular cycle. Ovulation tests at least gave a window of when you were fertile.

You’d tested yourself this morning and the line had been fairly light but that had apparently changed over the course of the day. Jungkook chewed on his lower lip, staring at his phone and unsure what to do. Based on what you’d written in your baby planner, he needed to drive home right now and fuck you.

Except, of course, he was currently baby-sitting for Namjoon.

Dejectedly, Jungkook plopped down on the couch. Namjoon’s daughter was around eighteen months now and had been asleep for nearly thirty minutes, but Namjoon and his wife wouldn’t be home for hours.

Shoving a hand through his hair, Jungkook let the strands fall where they may to glumly text you back.

Jungkook: I’m babysitting for Namjoon tonight, remember? ☹️ [8:36 PM]

Y/N: shit [8:36 PM]

Y/N: what time will you be home? I need to get up early tomorrow for that book drive ☹️☹️ [8:37 PM]

Jungkook: Namjoon said around 11 :/ his mom gave them tickets to an opera or something and they promised to make an appearance [8:37 PM]

Y/N: 11?? That’s soooo late [8:38 PM]

Y/N: you could’ve cum inside me twice by then [8:38 PM]

Jungkook: fuck, Y/N…. [8:39 PM]

His heart raced, leaning back on the sofa. Nothing in the world made him so hard so fast as the image of your cunt, stuffed to the brim until his cum dripped down the sides. Jungkook had been treated to the image often over the past few months and didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it.

The whole ‘baby planner’ thing had thrown a kink in romance, but Jungkook tried hard to ensure you lived in the moment. You were a planner at heart and tended to get caught up in how long it was taking, why you hadn’t conceived yet – Jungkook assured you these things took time. You may as well enjoy all the sex before you had an actual child to take care of.

A slightly dreamy smile crossed Jungkook’s face at the thought. He couldn’t wait to be a dad. It was part of the reason he baby-sat for Namjoon as often as he did. Namjoon was the first of their friend group to have a kid and, as exhausted as he seemed, Jungkook had never seen his friend so happy.

It was clear from the way he looked at his daughter and wife that Namjoon was entirely smitten. Jungkook wanted that with you – he wanted a family, another player on their team.

Forcing himself to stand from the couch, Jungkook began to tidy Namjoon’s place. The more distracted he was, the less he’d think about you spread out on the bed, cum dripping from the sides of your used pussy.

Jungkook paused in his cleanup, emerald throw-pillow in hand to squeeze shut his eyes. Fuck. Shaking his head, he opened his eyes as his phone dinged again.

Y/N: couldn’t someone else come and finish babysitting? :) [8:41 PM]

Y/N: jimin, maybe? [8:41 PM]

Y/N: or Seokjin? [8:41 PM]

Jungkook hesitated, but already knew the answers to your questions. Jimin was out of town and Seokjin had posted a story on Instagram about date night. Picking up a blanket and stacking toy, Jungkook exited the room to enter Namjoon’s apartment.

Apartment was a loose term; Namjoon and his wife had the entire floor of the building. Jungkook paused outside the nursery, listening to hear if anything was amiss. The door was open partway, allowing for light to spill in from the hall. Jungkook poked his head in to see their daughter snuggled under her blankets.

Smiling softly, Jungkook stepped in and placed the blanket on top of the rocker. He set the stacking toy in the toy chest and saw you’d texted again. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Jungkook shielded the screen with one hand to open the message.

His heart lodged in his throat when he saw you’d sent a photo of you sprawled on the bed, black lingerie on. A low, frustrated whine left his throat.

“Fuck,” Jungkook said sadly.

“Fuck?” garbled a tiny voice in the darkness.

Jungkook froze.

Eyes wide, he turned to see Namjoon’s daughter standing, tiny hands clutching the bars of her crib. She had just been asleep – when had she managed to do that?! As Jungkook began to panic and hope she hadn’t really heard, she let out a bright laugh and bounced.

“Fuck,” she said, clear as day. “Fuck!”

Jungkook slowly closed his eyes. He was toast. Namjoon’s daughter could barely articulate what she wanted for dinner, but now had the capacity to absorb swear words with ease.

“No,” he groaned, opening his eyes. Rushing forward, he dropped to his knees at her crib. “No, baby, no. We don’t like that word, right? It’s a bad word. You’re not bad! You’re good! You’re a super-sweet angel, who –”

“Fuck!”

Jungkook slowly hung his head. “We’re doomed,” he muttered.

Down the hall to the front of the apartment, Jungkook heard the elevator ding. Double shit – like he’d told you, Namjoon and his wife weren’t supposed to be home for hours.

“Jungkook?” Namjoon’s voice called from far away. “Where are you?”

Starting to panic, Jungkook lifted his head. “Okay,” he whispered, giving the toddler a pleading stare. “This is just between you and me, right? Right?”

All he got in return was a round-eyed look and happy coo, so Jungkook had to hope that meant yes in baby-speak. Jungkook heard footsteps in the hall.

“Jungkook?” Namjoon poked his head into the nursery, squinting at the darkness to find Jungkook on the floor. “What’re you doing?”

Jungkook hastily pushed himself to his feet. “Nothing!” He beamed widely at Namjoon. “I just thought I heard her moving, so I came in to check and –”

“Fuck!”

Jungkook stopped in his tracks at the word happily chirped behind him. Namjoon’s eyes widened in horror, his gaze darting to his daughter who stood in her crib. Jungkook, also wide-eyed, stayed where he was.

Slowly, Namjoon returned to Jungkook. “Was that…” He sounded strangled. “What did my daughter just say?”

“Uh…” Jungkook gave him a weak smile. “Funk?”

“Fuck!”

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry,” he groaned.

“Did you…” Namjoon inhaled. “My daughter can barely speak in full sentences and now one of those sentences is going to include that?”

Before Jungkook could respond, Namjoon’s wife appeared behind him in the hall. She wore a flowy, floor-length dress and crystalline earrings. When she saw Jungkook, she waved.

“Hi, JK!” Her smile widened. “Thanks so much for baby-sitting. Sorry we’re home early – the opera was such a bore. I convinced Namjoon to leave as soon as his mom saw us. I missed my angel,” she sighed, entering the room to cross to the crib.

Jungkook reached out to stop her, but before he could –

“Fuck!”

Namjoon’s wife halted, blinking in surprise at the crib. Then, against all reason, she started to laugh. Both shoulders shook, her right hand coming up to cover her mouth and hold in her mirth.

Both Jungkook and Namjoon stared.

“Oh my gosh,” his wife laughed, bending over the crib. “Is that what you learned tonight, hm, pretty girl?”

Jungkook watched in total astonishment as Namjoon’s wife tucked her daughter in, smoothing her hair to brush a kiss to her forehead. When she straightened and turned, she seemed mostly amused.

Finding Jungkook, she arched a brow. “Your handiwork, I presume?”

“I’m so sorry.” Jungkook kept his voice to a whisper, not wanting to wake their daughter again. “It was an accident, I swear.”

Again, Namjoon’s wife grinned. “It’s fine,” she said, waving them into the hall. “Let me guess – Joon freaked, huh?” Her husband adopted a guilty expression. “She’s a toddler, she’ll forget this by next week. And if she doesn’t, then she’ll have something for show and tell when she starts preschool, huh?”

She laughed at their shocked expressions, reminded Namjoon to pay Jungkook for baby-sitting and then left to wash up.

Namjoon stood alone in the hall with Jungkook, who frowned. “Were you supposed to be paying me this entire time?” he asked, turning to Namjoon.

“I’ll get you a pizza or something,” Namjoon said stiffly.

Despite his wife’s words, he still looked somewhat pained and Jungkook’s shoulders dropped.

“I really am sorry,” he said again. “I know your wife said everything was fine, but I am. It was an accident – I didn’t think she was awake!”

Namjoon shook his head slowly, starting to smile.

“Ah, it’s fine,” he said with a laugh. As he walked them towards the front door, he glanced curiously at Jungkook. “What happened, though? Stub your toe on one of her toys?”

“Does that happen often?”

“More times than I can count.”

Jungkook laughed. “Nothing like that. I was just texting Y/N.”

Namjoon’s brows shot upwards. “Is something wrong?”

“No, um…” Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, the opposite.”

They came to a stop at the elevator and Namjoon turned to face him. He had an amused look on his face as he pressed a button. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. We’re, uh…” Jungkook glanced over his shoulder. “We’re trying.”

Namjoon’s expression became almost comical. “You are? Shit, JK, that’s amazing!” Reaching out, he pulled Jungkook into a tight hug. When he finally let go, Namjoon grinned. “Damn, I can’t wait for there to be another dad in the group.”

“I mean, we’re only trying,” Jungkook hastened. “Y/N isn’t pregnant yet. She’s actually ovulating right now, which is why I was swearing. She wanted me to come home and – you probably don’t want to know all this,” he said, cutting himself off at the look on Namjoon’s face.

A look Jungkook read completely wrong, as it turned out.

“What are you waiting for?” Namjoon blurted as the elevator arrived. He practically shoved Jungkook inside. “Ovulation is no joke, man! Get the fuck home and put a baby in Y/N!”

From somewhere in the apartment, Namjoon’s wife called, “Language, Joon!”

Namjoon turned in surprise. “Really?” he called back. “I thought we could say that word now. You know, since the cat’s out of the bag? Anyways,” he said, returning to Jungkook. “Get out of here!”

Shaking his head, Jungkook stepped onto the elevator. “Okay. Weird, but thanks! And sorry again!”

As he waited for the elevator doors to close, Jungkook heard Namjoon leave and pulled out his phone to text you back.

Jungkook: coming home now xx [8:55 PM]

Jungkook: Namjoon and his wife hated the opera, left early [8:55 PM]

Jungkook: think there’s still time for twice tonight? [8:55 PM]

You answered almost immediately.

Y/N: I’ve always liked a man with ambition ;) love you. Hurry home xx [8:56 PM]

kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

#jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook writing #bts writing #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #bts fluff #bts drabble

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heyheshi · 5 years ago

Text

“We might be pregnant.”

3.4k words

written and uploaded: July 11, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...?

💎 - a hint of smut...?

Please like and reblog! Also please don’t post my writings anywhere!

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 3

_________

The last three weeks have been absolutely divine! Harry managed to convince you about closing your clinic earlier than usual, he said and you quote, "the babies are gonna be safe with their parents, lovie", so that's what you did, you closed your clinic early for the Christmas Season and told your patients that you're just a call away.

You managed to snag a couple of Christmas Gifts for your husband and for both of your families. You were never a fan of late shopping but after the fight you and H had, you've been nothing but inseparable. Always tied on each other's hips and always wanting to feel one another's presence.

Both of your families drove at your house during the 23rd, wanting to spend Christmas Eve together. All you can hear are the joyous laughter and love for one another and you can tell that Harry is savoring every moment for when he leaves for his tour.

You both agreed on visiting him often and staying with him for a month before you go back to your job for another month then visit him again. It will be a tiring process especially for you but it was the best you both can come up with. It was a compromise the two of you can work with and it will be all worth it in the end.

Harry talked about his excitement about his upcoming tour with your families. Everyone spent time with one another but you can tell that Harry enjoyed it the most. Your families stayed for a week, leaving on the 30th.

He's been spending time with the kids the most. With your sister having a newborn and Gem being pregnant for the 3rd time, he caught a glimpse of what it's like being a father. You would often catch him staring at you while holding the kids and it made you smile. You can't wait for the time when Harry is holding your own child but you've talked about not trying until after his tour.

It wasn't Harry's fault though. You never really thought about having an irregular menstrual cycle and was never really bothered by it before the marriage but now it was all that's in your mind. H taught you to love yourself and your body though. He was so understanding of everything which makes your heart burst every single time.

You've been eating more than usual and you always feel bloated. You told Harry that one-night whistle your families were there but he only told you that you still looked beautiful. You have never been a stress drinker though you still drink on occasions, you are more the stress eater type of person.

You've been very stressed about hosting your families for Christmas and hosting the upcoming New Year Party, and the fact that you might not fit in the dress you bought for that event adds to the fire. Harry understood and tried to help you with everything he can to lessen your stress. He once joked about opening your clinic to stress you more so you'll cook more food for him to munch into.

---

It was 30 minutes before midnight. Your friends were scattered around your house, talking and laughing and drinking and catching up with one another while you, however, tried being the best host as much as you can.

On occasions like this, you'd like to at least have a drink on your system but you couldn't risk messing something up, you are a strong believer of the saying, "what you do on the 1st day of the year, will be what you're doing for the rest of the year", so if you are crying on new year then you'll be crying for the year but if you're laughing during the new year, then your year would be filled with happiness, plus you managed to fit in your dress! God forbid you staining it and having to deal with staining your clothes for the whole year.

You haven't seen Harry since Zayn arrived, you figured that the lads have been catching up and the thought made you smile, but right now you really need his help. You're running out of cupcakes, and you don't know what to do!

Someone snaked their hands from your behind and you're startled by it until you smelled the perfume you know by heart and saw the familiar tattoos on the person's arms. You couldn't help but lean back to relax a bit and laced your fingers with your husband.

"What got you so stressed bunny? I can see your frown from the living room. Know I hate seeing you frown baby.", Harry said into your ears that sent chills down your spine. There was no loud music but you're sure that the voices in your house would beat the sound if there was one.

"We're running out of cupcakes! I think it was me, it's all I've been consuming since our guests arrived!", you sighed after you said that but your husband only laughed and turned you to him.

He smiled widely at you. "You're really cute baby.", then bopped your nose with his. "I got us covered angel, there are spare cupcakes in our room."

"H! Why are there cupcakes in our room?!", you couldn't help but laugh at it though.

"Because the tables were full and I don't know where to put it and our guests were arriving so I just put it on the first place that comes into my mind!", H tried to reason you but you were already laughing at him. He pouted at you but couldn't help but laugh along at the situation, he loves hearing your laugh!

"Okay okay baby H, let's get the cupcakes here, yeah?"

"Did you just called me Baby H? Hmm?", he playfully asked you, "We both know that you're not calling me that when we're alone.", he whispered to your ear hotly and you felt your stomach drop. "Why don't we try that theory of yours baby girl? Let's find out if we're really going to have sex every single day if we do it on new year.", he sounds so hot and you're so flustered, and that's when he laughed.

"Gotcha baby! Payback for laughing at me!", the crinkles on the side of his eyes appeared while cackling, he's even patting his knees while doing so courtesy on how much he found the situation funny and you can't help but admire him and laugh along instead of being annoyed with him.

"Oi oi what you laughing about love birds?!", Louis smiled at the both of you while entering the kitchen.

"Nothing Lou, H is just being dramatic.", you said as Louis rounded the table to inspect the food and his eyes landed on the single cupcake at the plate.

Harry noticed, "Mate were just about to get more cupcakes, you can have it."

"Thanks man. And great party you two!", and with that, Lou sauntered out of the kitchen with the cupcake in his hand.

"Guess we really do have to get the cupcakes down now, huh?", you playfully asked your husband as he intertwined your fingers and pulled you upstairs to get the other boxes of cupcakes.

After the party, you really did test the theory of yours. You made love for the first time of the year, before he leaves for his tour tomorrow night.

---

Harry has been away for the past few weeks. You never really paid attention to the changes of your body, but your abdomen seems to have a bit bump to it but you're not even on your period. You really don't want to get your hopes up that you're ovulating for the month, your husband is not there anyways.

You used to hate getting your periods when you were still a teen up until your early to mid-twenties, dread for it actually, but now, all you wanted was for your period to greet you even in the most inconvenient times!

You're eating more, but you don't have any weird cravings since you eat almost everything - you're not a picky eater so it was so easy for Harry to take you out on dates and not worry about you not going to like the restaurants he picks at the start of your relationship - so you pass that as your stress. Stress on your job and missing your husband.

But then you started feeling nauseated all the time. It wasn't every morning after you wake up, it's actually in the afternoon. You thought that maybe it was your eyes again. You refuse to wear glasses and contacts even though you're mostly looking at the computer screen so you didn't bother much about it until one day at the grocery store.

"You're glowing, Doc! Early stages of pregnancy don't really look great on everyone but you pull it off!", Mrs. Green, the mother of your patient, said as you bumped into her while running some errands.

You blushed at the thought, "no, I- I'm actually not um pregnant.", you stuttered.

"Oh I'm sorry, I just thought..."

"It's alright, probably just the weather outside!", you talked to her for a couple more minutes before she has to go but during your conversation, you couldn't help but think about it.

Can you really be pregnant?

And with that question lingering on your mind, you went to the pharmacy of the story and bought more pregnancy tests than necessary.

You graduated with a Ph.D.! How come you never thought about this! Yet again, you and H never really talked much about pregnancy either so it wasn't the first thing that came to your mind.

Never in your life you'd have thought that you'll be drinking this much liters of water in a span of an hour. Numerous pregnancy tests wrappers on the small bin on your bathroom along with more than 10 pregnancy tests on your bathroom counter but never once you had peaked on any of it. You just couldn't do it.

You left the bathroom an hour ago and you're sure that every single pregnancy test results are done now.

You're so excited but scared at the same time. You know that Harry would be really ecstatic if he's here but he's just starting his tour, you don't know how he'll react but at the same time, if you're really pregnant then it wouldn't take long for him to accept it.

But you're more scared that those tests may come all negative. You got your hopes really high now and you're really wishing that you're carrying Harry's child. If the tests are negative then Harry wouldn't need to know that this ever happened, but you sure as hell would be really down and disappointed.

You decided to go to the bathroom to finally face your fears. You stood outside of the bathroom door and counted the pregnancy tests on the counter. 15. You don't know what to expect but you pray to God to give you strength no matter what the results say.

You slowly walked inside and looked at the first test. Negative, and boy did it disappointed you more than getting an 88 on your test when you were still in college.

The next pregnancy test came out positive. You froze, one negative and one positive equals negative, so you need more proof.

The third one came positive yet again. You still didn't believe it and look at the next test.

Positive. 3 positive and one negative. You're slowly starting to smile.

The next was another positive. You feel like you couldn't breathe so you look at the next one.

Negative. And there it goes again. All your hopes and dreams crushed. 4 positives and 2 negatives.

The next came out as positive, negative, positive, positive, positive, positive, positive, positive, and the last one was again, positive.

With each look at the pregnancy test, you couldn't help but cry. 3 negative tests and 12 positive tests. This is it, you're really pregnant. After years of trying.

You cried of happy tears and for the first time in your life, you put your hands on your tummy with so much care and look at it with so much adoration. "Are you really there, baby?", you continued to sniffle. "Gosh, I love you so much already. Daddy will be so happy. We get to see him in the next few days!", with that you wiped your tears and looked at the mirror to admire your body.

You took your first body picture as pregnant in front of your huge mirror in your walk-in closet and went to pack for your one month visit to your husband.

---

The plane landed a couple of minutes ago and you're on your way to Harry's hotel to drop off your things and go to the arena where he's performing. During the ride it made you think that about how you're not really sure if you're pregnant. You need to get an ultrasound to make sure but you also remembered that Harry would have loved to attend the first time you went to the doctors so you didn't think much about it.

You arrived at the arena after dropping and changing your clothes at the hotel. Harry was having a soundcheck so when he took a break and went backstage to change his shirt, he was so surprised to see you there. He thought you wouldn't be coming until two days before his birthday.

He ran up to you and almost crushed you. You being really cautious, put your arms to shield your tummy before he reaches you. H didn't notice what you did since he missed you so much and just wanted to hold you. When you felt like its safe to remove your arms, you hugged him back and swayed the both of you side to side. His head was in the crook of your neck and is pressing multiple kisses to your skin.

"Missed you so much. Though you're not gonna be here until the day after tomorrow.", he mumbled on your neck still hugging you tight.

"Jeff helped me with everything. Missed you so much more handsome.", then you kissed for the first time after being away for the last 3 weeks.

---

It was his birthday. You brought him presents and celebrated really early with him before you both have to leave for his soundcheck. You never would have thought that you're going give him another gift. You were going to wait until Valentine's day to tell him that you might be pregnant but things don't always happen as you please.

Harry saw a pregnancy test laying around his dressing room earlier, it was positive. He thought it might be Sarah's since she and Mitch have been planning on starting a family after this tour, much like you and him, so he didn't dig further to it, as a respect to his friends' privacy.

You weren't acting weird, only when you threw up after lunch, he thought your stomach wasn't used to the food so he let it slide and just made sure you were okay, in which you replied to as "just probably ate a lot". Then it was time for a few shots and a cake before he went to the stage. He's dressed and ready to go, 20 minutes before his last call. Everybody was having a shot and greeting your husband but you stuck to your water and 2 big pieces of cake.

Harry thought you were just hungry since you emptied your stomach earlier so he let it slide again but when you refused a drink, he couldn't help but pulled you to the side and ask.

"What's up with you baby? You sick my love?", he looks so concerned and you found it really cute so you pecked his lips. Hormones.

"I'm not, just really hungry.", you smiled at him. You're good with lying and you get away most of the time with it but not with your husband. No matter how good you are with it, he knows you better than anyone else.

"You refused my drink babes, it's my birthday", he pouted, "it's an occasion my love."

"I know H, I'm sorry, I couldn't drink, I really don't want to.", you tried to reason him but he wasn't having it.

"Don't lie, baby, I know you. Please tell me what's wrong pretty girl.", he took your hands and kissed your knuckles.

"There's nothing wrong with me, I promise. Go on, enjoy you-"

"Harry, 5 minutes!", Jeff yelled signaling Harry to get ready.

"Y/N just tell me. I'm worried, please baby. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. You're acting really strange and yo-"

"Pregnant.", you whispered.

"Come again?"

"We might be pregnant.", you said in a whisper while slowly meeting your husband's eyes.

"You're what?!", he's jumping on the balls of his feet now.

"Yeah, I might be pregnant.", you looked down, feeling disappointed. This isn't the reaction you were hoping to receive and it made your eyes water.

"How sure are you?", Harry asked in a strained voice. "12 positive tests and 3 negatives...", you said not meeting his eyes even though you can tell that he's looking at your figure.

Then Harry forced you to look at him, cradling your face with his hands. His eyes were so wide and green, blown pupils and you can see the tears starting to form in his waterline. "Are you really?", his voice breaks in the middle. You only nod your head.

With that, he kissed you, passionately. He didn't care that Jeff was yelling at him to go to the stage and that his fellow bandmates are stalling different tunes just for him. He kissed you like his life depend on it until he pulled back and dropped to his knees and lifted up your shirt.

"Can you hear me my love?", he whispered to your small tummy and you couldn't help but tangle your right hand with his hair, not caring if you messed it up, while your other hand is clamping your mouth. You're crying so much. "I love you bubs, daddy loves you so much.", Harry met your eyes and smiled at you.

"Both of you wait for me here, okay?", he stands up slowly while bringing your shirt down. "Eat as much as you please and I'll have some guards near you and give you a seat in here, mkay?", he looks so happy.

"Okay H. But we're not totally sure yet. I only told you, wasn't planning on it until the 14th s-"

"Then we'll go to the doctors first thing in the morning okay? Gotta take care of you more now, the both of you", you smiled at his concern.

"If that's what you want then. But for now, go and please the world.", you slowly pushed him off you.

He kissed you one more time before jogging backwards to the stage while yelling "I love you."

That night he performed with all of his energy and everyone can notice the change in his demeanor. To some, it's probably because it's his birthday but to both of you, there's a different reason behind it.

During the middle of his concert, you saw him whispered to his bandmates and everyone nodded.

“I'm going to sing another song I wrote a couple years ago. This is not on the setlist but tonight I'm making an exception since this is probably one of the best nights of my life.", the crowds cheered for him, "please if you have your phones, open your torches and bring it up in the air. I'm singing without a mic so please be quiet.", the crowds cheered grew louder then he winked at you from the side stage.

"This is Sweet Creature."

And with that, you know that whatever the future holds for the two of you, you'll be facing it together with your small family. You'll be now taking care of your own baby aside from your patients in a mere 33 weeks!

But maybe not "small family” after all, when you find out that you'll be having twins. And you'll have to compromise again about visiting him on tour with the babies on the way but there's nothing in the world you'd want to trade it with.

_____

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mdmemargot · 5 years ago

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The Beginning

So I’ve finally decided to start blogging about my pregnancy and journey to motherhood. Never mind that I am 37 weeks pregnant and we are going to meet Miss Margot in just a few short weeks. I figured better late than never, and I want our story to be told because it was not an easy journey.

How it all started...

I have known that I wanted to be a mom since I was 23 years old. I always talked about it, dreamt about it, and planned for it. Unfortunately... my body was not cooperating. In my first marriage, we began trying when I was 26. That journey ended in frustration, lots of unanswered questions, and ultimately a divorce.

The doctors did not know why I couldn’t get pregnant. I seemed perfectly healthy, aside from the endometriosis. In December 2011, I underwent laparoscopic surgery to remove the damage from the endometriosis in my uterus and fallopian tubes. The surgery was successful, but despite that - we were unable to conceive.

After my divorce in 2013, I put having kids on the back burner. From 2013-2016 I kind of went through a “wild” phase. I dated a lot, I partied a lot, and I drank a lot. I feel like I was definitely reckless at that point in my life. I’m thankful that nothing “bad” happened to me while I was out being crazy. Because I got married so young, I felt like I needed to experience a lot. I traveled, spent time with friends, and enjoyed myself a lot. I was very selfish and I knew it.

In 2016, I got into another serious relationship. It moved fast... too fast... but I wanted so desperately to be a part of a family, I just went along with it. He had a son, and I loved the idea of being a stepmother. Even though there were warning signs from the very beginning, I put those aside to try and be a part of a family. Inevitably, things fell apart and we ended our relationship (and engagement in March 2017).

At this point, I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to be a mom. I was pushing 35, single, and had no answers as to why I hadn’t been able to get pregnant in my mid-20s. I wasn’t necessarily upset about it anymore... I had just kind of settled on it. I figured that maybe I would adopt when I got a little older (with or without a man).

Enter Jamie...

I met Jamie in April 2017 when a friend invited me to go to trivia at a bar in Downtown Sanford. We all had such a good time that it became a weekly occurrence. I remember looking forward to Wednesday nights, when I could sit back, have a beer, laugh with friends, and use some of the pointless pop-culture knowledge that I have.

After a few weeks, I really started to notice Jamie. He was funny and weird. He knew a lot of obscure knowledge, songs, and movies. I liked talking to him and I thought he was so handsome. I laughed so hard when I heard that his ringtone was Take on Me by Aha. He was weird and interesting like me. I didn’t think too much of it though - I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was scared to be interested in anyone else.

Then, suddenly it was Late May and I was working in my classroom one afternoon. A mutual friend (and another trivia buddy) sent me a text to tell me that Jamie had a crush on me. I don’t think I have ever smiled that hard in my life. He then went on to tell me that he thought we would get along (”going to farmer’s markets and shit like that”) and asked if he could give Jamie my number. I said yes.

That evening, I got a text from Jamie and we started talking. As they say... the rest is history. We clicked immediately and as they say... the rest is history. We spent that summer getting to know each other, traveling, and falling in love.

The decision...

Sometime in late-summer/fall of 2018 - we started talking about having a family. Jamie knew he wanted kids and so did I. Just talking about it brought up all those old feelings, frustrations, and questions I had about my odds of becoming a mother.

We decided that we would start trying. Or at least try and get some answers as to why I couldn’t conceive before. Then we would move forward with possible treatments... depending on what they were. I found a wonderful fertility doctor and we went in for our consultation.

The doctor explained that the first step was to get a full blood work-up to figure out what was going on with me hormonally. I would also have to come in a few times during my cycle to get ultrasounds and see what was going on with my ovulation.

The journey begins...

My first few appointments were full of preliminary stuff - blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. After a few weeks, I got the results of my full blood work-up: Low odds of conceiving naturally due to low AMH levels. Not great egg quality. Jamie got his results - super healthy. That was good news, because at least we knew that we would only have to target my issues.

We sat down with the doctor and he told us that there are four options:

1) Oral fertility medications

2) Oral fertility medications + injectables

3) IUI (Intrauterine insemination)

4) IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization)

Doc said that he didn’t recommend just oral fertility meds, because I’d tried those back in the day and they didn’t work. I had gone through about six cycles of Clomid, in increasing doses. He recommended jumping straight to oral fertility medications and injectables along with frequent monitoring during my cycle to see if it was working.

Jamie and I sat down and discussed and decided to wait until after the holidays and December 2018 before starting to try. On top of all this - it was going to cost $2000 for three monitored cycles (lots of ultrasounds and blood work included). The medications were going to be extra. Oh yeah, and neither of our insurance companies covered ANY of it.

Let’s do this!

In January 2019, we decided to start officially trying. We ordered the medications (they ship them right to your door) and prepared to start. I started taking the oral medications during the first week of January, during days 3-7 of my cycle. Those meds were cheap - only about $7 at Costco.

Enter... the injectables. I had a huge amount of anxiety about using them. First, I’ve never given myself a shot. Second, they were $500 (for the daily injections) and $150 more for the “trigger shot.” We said, what the heck... paid for the meds and the three cycles and decided to give it our best shot.

I started giving myself injections after work on day 7, 9, and 11. The first day I was terrified. Would it hurt? Yeah, probably... but I have a pretty good pain tolerance. The good thing was that the shot was pre-measured and in a little Epi Pen type thing, so you really couldn’t mess it up.

I went in for an ultrasound on Day 10 and VIOLA - the meds were working! I had three nice big juicy follicles ready for ovulation. They measured the sizes and all three were great. I was ecstatic!

I had to return a couple of days later to see if they were still developing and THEY WERE! Now it was time for the trigger shot. The nurse in the office was great... she helped me measure it and administer it to myself. It hurt a little more than the other shots, but it wasn’t bad.

So we were all ready to make a baby.

How to make a Margot:

7.5 mg of Femara (for 5 days)

112.5 mg of Gonal-F (for three days)

One Pregnyl Trigger Shot

And...

Late-January came and after that horrendous two-week wait, I could start testing. I took about three tests and... nothing. All negatives. Then one morning at work, I went to the bathroom and there it was... a light pink streak of blood. I called Jamie and told him it hadn’t worked. We decided to take a month off and resume in March. All this was very mentally draining.

But wait...

My period only lasted about 48 hours and it was very, very light. No cramps, nothing... and then it disappeared. On a whim, one Sunday after church, I decided to stop by the store and pick up a couple of pregnancy tests just to be sure.

BAM!

On February 17, I found out that I was going to be a mama. I peed on that stick and it LIT UP instantly with a positive. I screamed in the bathroom and immediately took a second test and saw the same result. I freaked out... couldn’t sit still... was in tears.

I called Jamie (he was working that afternoon) and told him he was going to be a dad. His response, “Really?” In the next few days, I went to my fertility doctor and had it confirmed with a blood test. IT WAS OFFICIAL!

Neither of us imagined that it would work on the first cycle. We couldn’t believe how lucky we were.

So that’s how it all began. First trimester... commence!

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neilmillerne · 7 years ago

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{#TransparentTuesday} My period.

Last week was… rough.

It was the last week of my godforsaken menstrual cycle, and I was too busy surviving to think of anything brilliant to write about.

So I’m just going with the flow (ha!) and share the personal story of me and my period today! Yay!

(Please stop reading if this topic makes you uncomfortable. You’ve been warned.)

When I was 11 or 12, I got my first period. I knew all about menstruation from my anatomically correct (and sex-and-body positive) mother, so I was prepared.

I knew it was my uterine lining, which had prepared to make a baby, being shed.

I knew it was normal, natural, healthy, and a symbol of me entering womanhood.

But I also knew it was disgusting and mortifying.

When it happened and I told my mom, she left me a nice little gift of a mirror with a handwritten note on it, welcoming me to womanhood.

While I can look back and recognize how lovely that was, at the time all I felt was embarrassed. I even begged her not to tell my dad, because I couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing I had blood coming out of my vagina.

Because oh god so personal!

I remember when one of my girlfriends in high school called her dad to bring her tampons at work and I was astonished. Like: she knows that he knows what tampons are for, right?? EW!

It went on like that. For years, my periods always had the same feeling of secrecy and mortification.

It wasn’t shame exactly, because I knew periods were normal and fine.

But I couldn’t help feeling yucky and uncomfortable about someone else knowing that my uterine lining was pouring out of my vagina.

It was so horribly private. So unbearably personal.

And worst of all, it felt like irrefutable proof that I was a “woman,” which was unacceptable, because that was the last way I wanted to be seen.

Being a woman meant being fundamentally unsafe.

Being a woman meant every man staring at my boobs, and making comments about my body. It meant boys being super nice to me, but then trying to cop a feel.

Being a woman meant I was supposed to want to get married and have babies, and both of those things made me want to scream and run away.

Being a woman meant I was supposed to be cheerful and polite and “ladylike.” It meant wearing pantyhose and high heels and mascara, and sitting properly in chairs. It meant getting rid of most of the hair on my body, taming the curls on my head, and constantly be called things like “crazy” and “needy” and “emotional.”

So yeah. I harbored a lot of resentment about being female, and that resentment got transferred onto the “proof” of my female-ness: my breasts, my vulva, and (duh) my period.

As such, I spent years dismissing, denying, and hiding my period when it came– including the fact that I refused to buy or use tampons or pads. Instead, I either just stuck a wad of toilet paper into my underwear, or let my underwear get ruined and threw them away.

My period could not have been less of a self-loving or celebrated experience, and when it finally disappeared with my IUD, I was thrilled.

I even managed to hide my femaleness from myself. I’d hear other women talking about their cycles and feel bewildered. They knew things I couldn’t even begin to guess, like when they were ovulating, and how long their period would last, and how to cycle with other women.

Despite being confused, my outsidership to the female conversation also made me feel a bit smug. As though I was straddling some invisible line between genders, and had somehow escaped the burden of being “as female” as everyone else.

To make a long story short, somewhere along the way (thanks in part to the work I do with women) I forgave my body for it’s female-ness, and decided to reconnect to my own female power.

I wanted to know when I was ovulating, and bleed with the full moon, and cycle with my sisters!

I was really excited to do all that and more when I removed my IUD this Spring. I expected to feel amazing, finally hormone-free! I hoped to feel even more at home in my body; I even bought Thinx panties to honor and celebrate my monthly bleed, and prepared to receive the moon’s wisdom.

Instead of wisdom, though, I found a fucking hurricane.

It took months to get my period back at all, and when it finally came back it was like getting hit by a truck:

Mood swings that struck lightning fast between depression and euphoria.

A crushing fatigue that kept me in bed for days.

Memory gaps, mental fog, difficulty focusing (constantly forgetting words, keys, names, where stories were going, or why I entered rooms).

Crying, crying, crying, crying.

Cramps (both the regular physical pain kind, and the kind I call “existential cramps” in which my whole body seems to be doubled over in emotional pain).

Insane hunger, cravings, and a desire to binge eat.

A disconnected and disembodied feeling, as though I’m not welcomed in my own body.

After months of escalating brutal symptoms and really struggling to stay positive about my female power, I recently realized that something is wrong. This isn’t my “natural cycle,” this is a hormone imbalance. (I’m finally working with a doctor to set things right, huzzah!)

Despite this year’s setback, I am still hoping to commune with my cycle someday, to honor my body’s rhythmic wisdom and receive my monthly downloads from the Universe.

In the meantime however, I’m committed to bringing menstruation out of the shame shadows.

I want to live in a world where teenage girls don’t have to hide their tampons to keep the boys from knowing their vaginas are bleeding.

A world in which your dad finding out you got your period isn’t mortifying.

A world in which the vulva and clitoris are widely discussed and understood, the menstrual cycle is celebrated, and femaleness in general is acknowledged and honored.

Until then, I’ll keep writing emails, sharing personal stories, creating courses, coaching clients, and running live workshops.*

Because being female should not be something women have to spend their entire lives healing from.

Jessi

The post {#TransparentTuesday} My period. appeared first on Jessi Kneeland.

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#{TransparentTuesday} My period.

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johnclapperne · 7 years ago