#i’m emotionally volatile rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rexxdjarin · 2 years ago

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ZWEI JEJDJDJWJXJEJW I WOKE UP TO THIS LONG COMMENT AND I HAD THE WORST LAST 2 DAYS AND THIS REALLY JUST HEALED ME🥺🥰😩💚

(Normally I’d put this under a readmore but that shit is not working rn so SCROLL AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE CAPTAINS LOG SPOILERS)

Boba and Rex are……very, very different men. Boba is emotionally volatile, unpredictable and buries down his every last feeling because he doesn’t have anyone he trusts enough to be vulnerable with. And who could blame him? Given his circumstances I’d probably become a hardened person to protect myself too.

Rex is incredibly brave, selfless, and heroic. He gives every last piece of himself to his duty, his Jedi, his friends and his brothers. He has been through so much trauma that he truly cannot afford to keep his emotions bottled up. He needs the people around him to know he cares while he still has the time to tell them.

They aren’t exact character foils but they are two men with very different responses to trauma.

Order 66 for reader (Mari) is confusing and scary and traumatic and all she can think about is Rex. And his men. And his Jedi. She cares about him so deeply that her own safety..her own life goes out the window in pursuit of making sure he is ok. That’s more than most civilians would ever do for anyone, much less a clone.

And SOFT DOM REX😩🤤😮‍💨🥰😍😍😍😍 he’d just be so good at it. The tension release for him would be so necessary. Granted, he’s a little more on edge than normal bc of what’s going on. He’s typically more encroaching and soft than these first few chapters. But it’s still hot nonetheless.

I’m SO glad you’re reading and I’m excited for you to get to know a character you don’t often read and his bond with Mari 💙 thank you bby

Captain's Log: Chapter 3

Respite

Series Summary: The galaxy is in turmoil. The Republic has fallen, giving rise to the sinister reign of the totalitarian Empire, led by the insidious Emperor Palpatine. The millions of valiant clone troopers of the former Grand Army of the Republic are now blindly sworn, against their will, to protect a regime they once sought to destroy. After being saved from a terrible fate by his former-Jedi ally and close friend, Ahsoka Tano, seasoned veteran CT-7567 Clone Captain Rex remains loyal to the pillars of Democracy, freedom and truth that shaped the former Galactic Republic. We follow him now struggling to deal with the personal aftereffects of survival and finding his place in the galaxy alongside the only person he has left. You. The love of his life.

[previous] [next] part of Captain's Log series post on ao3

Pairing: Captain Rex x Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns used) Word Count: 7.8k Series Rating: Explicit (18+ only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT) Chapter Summary: Cleaning Rex up takes a lot longer than you planned. But this was a long time coming, nearly a month and 3 agonizing days, and you're certainly not complaining. He needs a little love right now a lot more than you know... Chapter Warnings: Explicit sexual content, smut, oral giving and receiving (f and m), shower, sex (p in v), fingering, language, softdom!Rex, just a little rough hell who could blame him right now, tending to wounds, mentions of blood, mentions of death, discussions of loss, references to major character deaths, a little love and comfort.

The next few hours were positively agonizing. For both me and Rex. He had stripped down completely, his now wrecked clone issued skins balled up on the floor beside the soiled bandages. Though the sight of his body made me drool with attraction, the severity of some of his injuries meant I couldn’t risk acting on the feeling right this second. Which was proving hard to hold back after I successfully convinced him to take a warm shower to disinfect his wounds a bit. The ship was a garbage heap, but the refresher was shockingly well kept, and I wondered if this ship was owned by some species that didn’t need to bathe at all. Maybe some kind of droid.

I sat on the counter, the steam from the scalding shower fogging up the glass and preventing me from staring at the lewd sight of him dripping wet mere feet from me. I huffed in annoyance, earning a quiet chuckle from Rex that echoed inside the cramped space.

“I wouldn’t hate it if ya joined, cyare.” He offered, his husky voice dropping an octave and revealing just how much he wanted me too.

“I can’t, love.” I swallowed thickly, the arousal sharply hitting my lower stomach. “Not until you’re better.”

“Oh please…it’s not that bad…” He argued, trying his very best to convince me and coming dangerously close to succeeding.

“We haven’t even used the bacta yet, Rex. That first bit is going to sting. You’ve got kriffing blaster burns.” I folded my arms, at this point trying harder to hold myself back than I was scolding him. He would eventually need my help in there, I did have to apply bacta wash and then patches to spots he couldn’t reach.

He hummed slowly, nursing a bit of soap over the still oozing wound to his shoulder. “Come on…you gotta help me anyways.” He said, echoing my exact thoughts. He swore loudly, pulling a few now blood-stained fingertips away from the wound.

I sighed, knowing he was right and too smart to argue against. I stripped off my clothes, folding them neatly beside the towels I laid out for him. Lucky I remembered to grab them from home. Well, what used to be home. I shook the nostalgia of my beautiful apartment bathroom away and opened the shower door.

He stood under the stream of water, pouting the longer he was forced to actually deal with his injuries for once. Little clear droplets dotted his tanned skin, finally clean of the grime and rubble from the crash. His long, dark eyelashes stuck together; the shimmering droplets caught atop them drawing my gaze to the way the deep amber of his eyes reflected in the fluorescent light of the fresher. Dark brows, contrasting his uniquely blonde hair, pinched together as he grimaced, hissing through gritted teeth at the way the soap penetrated his open wound.

I blinked stupidly before him, still stunned into silence like it was the first time I was seeing him in all his bare glory. The water began soaking my hair, dripping long trails of menacingly hot water down my torso. “Hi.” I breathed out, holding back the urge to pounce on him the way I was used to. Instead, I placed very hesitant palms on his solid pecs, the one part of him that wasn’t overly affected by the battle. I was all at once immensely thankful to that plastoid armor for protecting him.

His strong forearms wrapped around my sides, his hands gripping at the small of my back. “Hi there. See something you like?” He smiled, really truly smiled, for the first time since I arrived. Despite all he’d been through and all the pain, I was so grateful he could still find it in him to light up like this. He was so strong, a rugged and immovable force, but with me he was so incredibly delicate, just innately knowing how to be gentle and soft with the things he found beautiful.

“Yes finally.” I retorted. I slid my palm up his chest and ghosted my fingers along the edges of the wound on his shoulder. “Does it still hurt?” I whispered, glancing up at him fondly. The pace of my breathing quickened, my lower lip quivering nervously as I empathized with the pain he was enduring. Physically and mentally.

His jaw dropped, releasing a deep sigh. Nimble fingers reached up to my face, guiding a few dampened strands out of my eyes and resting his palm on the side of my head. “Now that I’m looking at this pretty face again…not so much anymore…” He drifted off, letting his eyes explore the changing expressions on my face. I knew he was going to try to get me to give in and let him take me however he wanted. I didn’t want to fight him on it, not after the hell he was put through. I was just about to relent and give him permission to delight in whatever parts of me he wanted when he suddenly pulled my lower back toward his hips with his forearm. He curled his rippling biceps into a tight hug around me, standing tall enough over me to rest his chin on the top of my head. His broad hand tucked my head onto the plane of his chest, right above the thumping rhythm of his heart.

I listened to him settling into our position, slowly rocking us back and forth under the gentle lull of the water. I curled my fingers tightly against him, instinctually trying to grab onto plastoid armor he wasn’t wearing. It was all going to be different now. Nothing would be easy. We were on the run for the foreseeable future, maybe forever. This wasn’t happening the way we both dreamed it up. But I couldn’t help smiling a little. We were still in this together. Rex would be fighting an entirely different battle now and I was actually a part of that. Instead of waiting in an apartment alone hoping he makes it home to me, we were in this together. Home was wherever we went now. And there was so much more comfort in this dingy beat-up ship than there ever was in the empty space he was always assigned but rarely ever in at my old luxurious Coruscanti apartment.

“Rex?” I posited, not so much a question, but just a way to get his attention.

“Mmm?” He replied, the roughness of his knuckles rolling over the skin of my waist.

“We’re never parting again. Ever.” I paused, pulling away to meet his eyes with a seriousness and intensity I hoped he’d pick up on.

“Never. Not even for a second.” He kissed my forehead and stretched his shoulder. “But I think I’d like you to cover this up now. It fucking stings, baby.” He grunted uncomfortably. I nodded, reaching up to angle the shower head and let the water run over it.

“Looks pretty clean now. The rest of your wounds will heal. But this one’s gonna take time. Can’t strain yourself too much using it for a while. Definitely going to mess up your impeccable shot.” I joked, bumping him playfully with my hip.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a good shot with both arms. I don’t wield dual pistols just because. I am considered elite, remember?” He rolled his eyes, running a finger along my jaw and tapping the tip of my nose.

I smiled wickedly, the arousal starting to pool up in my lower tummy again. “That’s true. You are very good with both hands.” I bit my lower lip and ran a fingertip down the front of his torso, tracing the letters of my name on each ab muscle.

“Exactly.” He agreed, lifting an eyebrow at me, reading the darkening of my pupils well enough to know where my mind was going. “Fix me up and I’ll show you. Though I don’t think I have to remind you.” He all but threatened, stepping closer to me, and running his open palm over the swell of my ass.

My breath hitched in my throat as he pressed impossibly further into me. Both of our soaked bodies slipped against each other perfectly, the lack of friction adding to our frustrations. I tipped my chin up and opened my mouth to speak only to be shut up immediately by his lips closing around mine. He kissed slower than usual, like he was really trying to savor and enjoy every last second of me. The fresh stubble he hadn’t had time to remove grazed across my skin, creating a deliciously rough sensation I wasn’t used to from someone so deliberately clean-cut.

I giggled, “it’s kinda nice…when you don’t shave.” I mumbled between gasping breaths, the feather light weight of his kisses still siphoning the air from my lungs. He smirked against my lips, pulling away from me and running fingertips along my jawline. He curled his index finger underneath my chin and lifted with his thumb so my face met his eye level.

“That’s good to hear. It’s gonna have to stay this way for a while. I figure it’ll be easier to hide if I don’t look as much like me.” He explained, rolling his eyes in annoyance at the sudden necessity to blend in. Which was hard for him as a very prominent, recognizable, and starkly blonde Republic war hero. His brothers alone would know him instantly. It was smart of him to come up with a plan already.

I grinned devilishly imagining how good the burn of his facial hair might feel down there. “Well then I think I need to get a little more familiar with it.” I lifted myself up on my toes, craning to crash my lips into his again. He settled his good arm against the shower wall, bracing himself to lean down into me. He corralled me between his powerful and delightfully bare thighs, guiding his hardening length dangerously close to where he knew it belonged.

I gently nibbled his lower lip, pleading with him silently to speed this up. We hadn’t been together like this in too long and the aching need was threatening to overtake me if he didn’t do something about it quickly. “You need me so bad huh cyare...” he whispered, pulling back from our kiss to lick slowly up my neck. The very tip of his tongue flicked against my overheated skin, cooling me from the burn of the shower still running down us both.

“Yes.” I mewled helplessly, as his hands softly caressed my collar bones and down the curves of my chest. The pad of his thumb brushed over my nipple, immediately reacting to his touch and sending a shiver along my spine. He marveled at the sight of me trembling in anticipation before him. It had been a while.

As much as Rex was known to be a man of civility and unparalleled restraint, after the events of the last few days, I knew he’d be desperate and touch starved for me and me alone. There was nothing that fueled him, that kept him battling even if he was inches from the brink of death, more than loving me did. Of that I was sure. He made it known as much as he could, whenever he could. Now that he’d survived the worst day of his life, there was nothing else he wanted more than this. I was all that was left of what he held dear. He was standing before me ready to bare his all to the only emotion he knew was safe to feel anymore.

“I need you too.” He uttered, in the softest, raspiest whisper he could. His palm flattened atop my breast and gripped onto it firmly, kneading it in his hand. He rested his forehead on mine, using his still very sore shoulder to guide his hand to the side of my neck. ��Let me show you how much.” He kissed just below my ear, my weak spot, before traveling down my torso. Open mouthed, amorous kisses swiped along my body as he lowered himself to his haunches before me. His calloused palms slid sensually down the wet skin of my sides, hungrily admiring every curve under his masterful hands that knew me so well. Warm, twinkling amber eyes shot up from beneath his brows furrowed with concentration as his hands slid between my thighs.

I instinctively spread my legs further apart, his hand tenderly gripping the flesh there that no one ever saw but him. I sighed out, the noise getting lost in the sound of water sprinkling from the shower head. He grunted in response, the lewd sight of me falling apart 2 inches from his face making him all the more eager. Nails dug into my thigh and his mouth followed, nibbling gentle little love bites across the skin. I tipped my head back onto the shower wall, the cheap glass rattling and echoing inside the cramped refresher. “Oh Rex…please. Touch me. Please baby.” I whimpered.

Suddenly, he lifted my leg off the floor, letting it dangle atop his uninjured and gloriously broad shoulder. “Shhh easy. I’ve got you mesh’la.” He whispered, “always such an impatient little thing.” With two nimble fingers, he spread my folds and his lips surrounded my clit. All the pressure and fear from the last few days melted away. He licked just as slowly as he kissed earlier, the pressure of his tongue against my throbbing bundle of nerves sending me into a frenzy. I was quickly losing control, my slippery hands unable to grip any part of him or the wall behind me.

“Mmmm f-feels…so…good. Can you blame me for being impatient for this?” I whispered between the controlled heaving of my lungs, my chest now rising and falling as he leisurely lapped at me. The twisted knots of fear and arousal were untangling with every twirl of his tongue. He hummed in response, changing direction and dipping in for a taste of the wet heat he’d been creating since the second he undressed in front of me.

The fresh stubble along his chin prickled against my increasingly sensitive folds, the only delicious friction I could get while being this drenched in the shower. I bucked my hips softly into his mouth, pleading for him to increase speed, pressure, moan. Anything. The pleasure was only rising, not being quelled at all by the soft, languid movements of his mouth.

“Tastes so good. Could do this forever. Want to do this forever.” He rambled, tipping his chin forward to finally drag a long, flat stripe up my folds. I let a long, drawn-out moan escape, reverberating off the metallic walls of this trash heap of a ship. My entrance spasmed as he dipped his tongue inside it, lapping up the juices that were leaking down my thighs. Flutters tickled inside the pit of my stomach carrying me higher toward my climax. I reached a needy hand out toward him, motioning for him to let me hold onto some part of him and still being mindful of his hurt shoulder.

His hand met mine almost instantly, lacing his broad fingers between my noticeably smaller ones. He smiled against my sensitive skin, the stubble on his cheek scratching me feeling oddly pleasurable. My thighs were trembling from both holding up my bodyweight for so long and from losing control of my senses as he passionately consumed his fill of me. “Rex I’m- I’m close.” I moaned, squeezing his hand tightly to signal him.

“I know. Spend enough time down here…I can always tell.” He chuckled, the soft licking now replaced by all-encompassing deep dives inside with his tongue. His big, desperately lust filled brown eyes flicked up, “cum baby. I want to see how pretty you look when I lick you all up.”

Heat roiled in my lower stomach like hot lava on Mustafar, drenching his open mouth below. “Fuck. Y-yes Captain.” I whimpered, his title falling from my lips like this making his eyes roll back in his head slightly. He picked up the pace, thrusting the pressure back onto my sensitive clit. Suddenly, the empty space inside me that his tongue once occupied was being prodded open by two wide fingers. I squealed, pushing my hips down onto them slightly and earning a garbled groan from him.

“Fuck…good girl being so tight for me. You take my fingers so well.” He whispered, burying his fingers inside me to the knuckle and pressing up on a spot that made me see stars. He pulled them out slowly, watching the hole spasm at the loss before twisting his wrist and pushing back in again. “Maker I can’t wait to fuck you…” He ran his tongue harshly against my clit once, twice, three times and I was gone. My walls were locking down, my mind clearing itself of all the stress and fear and pain of the last few days. It was like hurtling through hyperspace, the dazzling and dizzying feeling of bliss only comparable to the sight of the blinding out-of-focus star trails that whizzed by me on my way here. On my way to him.

My mouth dropped open as the feeling washed over me. I arched my back forward and moaned his name over and over again as he kept lazily brushing over my now overstimulated center. The pool of heat burning inside me finally boiled over, spilling out of me as my climax shuddered through me. He buried his face in it, lapping up every drop like it was the only thing he needed to survive. The bridge of his nose brushed up against my clit, prolonging the delightfully agonizing reaction. My eyes, hooded with exhausted arousal, connecting with his and exchanging comforting and loving glances as he reveled in the enjoyment he brought me.

“Stars I-I missed you.” I breathlessly declared, giggling happily in the intoxicating aftermath of what we’d done. He gently eased my angled thigh off his shoulder and onto the floor again, steadying me on legs that were creaking from fatigue. He eased himself up, gripping my hips and ensuring I wouldn’t collapse in front of him. His body pressed into mine, his lower torso brushing his very ready cock against my thigh. A gentle thumb rested on my chin, slowly prying open my bottom lip. He crashed into me desperately, the slowest passionate kiss enveloping my mouth and making fresh surges of arousal build in my tummy again. I could taste myself all over him, mixing in with his own unwavering desire that overtook me the longer he kissed me.

He broke the kiss and rested his palm on the small of my back. “You’ll never have to miss me again. I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, his gruff tone conveying a determined promise to me, but with flickers of sadness. Part of him was just happy to be alive to see me again. But that didn’t erase all the other parts of who he was. He was a soldier without a purpose now and a captain without men to lead. He had me, finally had me, in a way no one could ever take away. Yet, he felt a hole in his soul the size of thousands of men. Each tear in the fabric of his reality was in the shape of a different brother he lost. Some old, like Fives, Tup, and Hardcase…but most new, like Vaughn, Kix, and Jesse. He was going to carry the weight of their loss, his love for his brothers in his heart, in the space next to his love for me, until the day he died. Every second he spent loving me, he put a little bit aside for them. If they couldn’t live, he would live for them. If they weren’t here to experience how much he loved them, truly loved them, he’d love their memories, each and every one of them. His promise to never leave me behind again was as much a promise to me as it was to all of them.

I tipped my forehead to his, staring into the guilt brimming his eyes. Even though he was happy, he was still sad. Profoundly and a little hopelessly sad. “I know. We never leave each other. Love never dies, Rex.” I uttered, the seriousness of my tone immediately conveying that I knew we were talking about more than just us.

“Those who love us never really leave us. General Kenobi used to say that…” He drifted off, thinking about what could’ve happened to him for probably the first time since this all happened. I reached forward and turned the shower off finally, pawing at his chest to follow me as I opened the door into the fresher. I shivered, the cold air of this moon filtering through the ventilation shafts turning my overheated skin to ice instantly. I scrambled to find my towel, wrapping myself in it and hearing a disgruntled sigh from Rex, unhappy he couldn’t stare at my naked frame anymore.

I reached for his towel, handing it to him and kissing his cheek softly. “He’s right.” I replied, slipping my hand in his and helping him dry off. He was still obnoxiously hard and I couldn’t tear my mind away from his aching need no matter how much I needed to talk him through this.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head as if to jostle the rambling thoughts out of his way. He winced, the sudden movements reminding him that his shoulder wound still needed tending to. He reached forward to grab the bacta patch from the counter, but I got to it first. “Let me do it. I’m going to take care of you now, ok?” I commanded, his eyebrows raising at my unusually dominant tone.

“Isn’t that usually my job?” He retorted suggestively, trying to slip his hand into the towel precariously perched on my chest just so.

“Yes, Sir. But you really need me this time.” I giggled, unwrapping the patch from its protective covering and placing it on his oozing wound. He hissed both from the contact of the healing patch doing its job and because I rolled my hips forward into his hard length.

“Mmmff…d-don’t do that…or I’m gonna take that control b-back…real quick.” He jerked slightly, his hips rolling forward for more as I slid him between my thighs slowly.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Nothing I can’t handle…” I shrugged playfully, rolling my entire body forward and letting the towel slip off in a heap below us.

He chuckled, both hands sliding down the curve of my backside and resting on my ass. He motioned for me to jump and I obeyed, leaping into his arms and feeling his wide hands splaying out to catch my thighs in his grasp. “Hmmm now that this bacta is doing its thing…I can do a lot more…give you something you can’t handle alright…” He growled, burying a teasing kiss into the crook of my neck.

“Well, we better have somewhere more comfortable to go…I am not about to let you fuck me in this cramped fresher.” I laughed, tossing my head back to give him more access to the open skin. He took it, licking hungrily up the side of my neck and sucking a massive purple bruise right underneath my jaw.

“I think you’d let me fuck you anywhere, you nasty little thing.” He teased, his right palm squeezing my ass tightly. He kicked open the fresher door behind us, the somehow even colder air prickling my exposed skin. I hissed, arching my back in shock and pushing my chest impossibly deeper into his.

“C-cold.” I whimpered, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and cuddling into him tightly. He was always so beautifully warm somehow, as if the rippling muscles underneath could generate enough heat to warm the whole ship. I curled into his neck, peppering light and sweet little kisses along the taut veins here that I usually never had access to. He was so much easier to reach without those damn turtleneck shirts they were made to wear. He hummed in delight, maneuvering my body around so he could hold my bottom half with one arm and curl the other around my back in a cozy hug.

The only part of me that wasn’t freezing was the undeniable heat stirring between my legs, where his throbbing length was now protectively sheathing itself. It felt so good to have him like this. Skin on skin. Not even doing anything yet, just raw and exposed to each other without having to worry about any interruptions at all. It was totally unfamiliar territory for us, but definitely not unwelcome.

He was almost purring at my touch, affectionately gripping me close to him, undoubtedly running the very same thoughts in his mind. This was our normal now. No one was going to call him away, no one even knew he was alive. As guilty as it made him feel, he was desperately learning not to care. To be a little selfish for once in his life.

After a few moments of soaking each other in, he stammered “there’s living quarters just underneath the cockpit. Haven’t had much of a chance to check it out yet.” I lifted my head, turning toward the direction of the room and motioned in acceptance.

“Let’s go break it in then.” I smirked, slowly rotating my hips around where his center was firmly resting against mine.

“Y-yeah. Don’t have to convince me.” He gulped, breaking into a run almost and slamming his palm into the doors control panel. The doors whooshed open behind us, random junk clattering in a heap as it lost contact with the door it was propped up against.

The room was fine, two bunks right over the other were in the center of the room. Walls on either side had rows upon rows of shelving filled with droid parts, tools and other lightly used spice paraphernalia. Posters of various bounty hunters and pretty, popular underworld women of all species covered any flat space on the metal walls. I even spotted some weapons tucked in a cabinet next to the bed. Whoever owned this ship was definitely no diplomat and probably not someone the republic would have considered savory.

I turned back around, his eyes roving over my body still clinging to him instead of at the junky, abandoned room we were to call home now. “This ship was definitely owned by pirates or something.” I casually declared, blinking innocently as if I’d completely forgotten about him stroking his needy cock through the slick he’d already coaxed out of me once.

In an instant he was crossing the room, not so silent footsteps echoing off the metal floor, as our intertwined bodies approached the lower bunk. He set me down gently on my back, sliding his palms from where they were holding my thighs to around the curved joints of my hips. He gripped tightly, eyes glued to my legs lazily spread open in front of him.

“Stars I wanna fill you up so bad. Look at you…so ready and willing. All mine. You’re so good, cyar’ika.” He rambled, his rough palm slipping against my thigh and pushing it down against the mattress, angling me just to his liking.

I slipped my bottom lip between my teeth, instinctually biting down on it to keep my moans quiet. Force of habit. Nobody was around to hear us. I scooted myself closer to where he stood beside the bed, thighs against the edge and weeping cock stiffly hovering just above the sensitive bundle of nerves he’d already spent plenty of time on today.

I eased myself up to a sitting position, both my arms holding me upright and inching my face close enough to allow him to kiss me again. His pupils dilated, dark centers of his amber eyes ominously threatening me with unbridled desire. I met his menacing gaze with an innocently sweet smile, countering his intensity with a calculated shyness I knew he loved. He could see past the demure, starry-eyed, loving little thing I was presenting as for him. “I’m always ready for you, Captain.” I whimpered softly, running a gentle hand up his chest. He stood unwavering, though the increasing heaving of his broad chest gave away how much this actually was affecting him.

Suddenly, I dropped the act, clawing my nails into his good shoulder and letting the indisputable urge for him flood through me. My own eyes darkened to match his and a sultry snarl emitted from my lips, “Come and take me. I’m all yours.”

He growled deeply in response, pushing my knees down to the mattress and stretching me wide open for him. Without missing a beat, he plowed deep into me, his cock instantly piercing me at the deepest part of my insides. I choked out a loud moan, an almost back-breaking pressure making me arch up off the mattress and into his chest now hovering above me.

I was suffocating around him, an impossible tightness gripping him like a vice. He could do nothing but swear profusely as he stood motionless, gathering himself and letting me adjust to him. As if I ever could. He’d never, ever felt this mind-numbingly large and good inside me and he hadn’t even moved yet. “fuuuuck.” He hissed out, his fingertips in a bruising grip on my hipbones. “you’ve never felt so f-fucking good” His raspy, deep voice broke, muttering strangled mando’a words as my walls spasmed around him.

I couldn’t say anything, my thoughts consumed by the all-encompassing feeling of him jammed in me to the hilt. My mouth dropped open in a silent scream, eyes rolling back in my head as he dragged himself painfully slowly out of my hold on him, only to recoil back inside with absolutely brutal strength. “Rex…” a soft moan of his name all I managed to whimper out as he started rocking into me in a downright ruthless rhythm.

“Maker, so- so fucking wet and tight from before. You like when I take care of you like that? You like it when I let you cum like that?” He grunted, reaching a hand up to curl into my hair and pulling, giving him better access to my neck. I nodded in response, reaching a hand up to touch his face only to have him grab it and pin it to the bed beside me. He scolded me with a gentle tsk, “speak up. I want to hear you this time.”

“Yes Captain, I do. I always do.” I croaked finally finding it within me to make words again. I gave in, allowing him to take my other hand, both my wrists now locked above my head under his grip.

“Good girl. That’s my good girl.” He muttered, placing a gentle kiss to my lips as a reward before speeding up again. His hipbones met mine faster and faster each time, the lewd noise of his sweat slick thighs meeting mine sending another rush of heat into my core. He chuckled, enjoying my body’s visceral reaction to his praises. “Now- unnffff- you’re gonna let me fuck you into this bed like the good girl you always are.” He commanded, his rolling hips sending the tip of his cock careening into a perfectly sensitive spot at the top of my insides.

“Y-yes. Maker- Rex! Please baby. Need you to.” I begged, rocking myself back into him to allow him to reach that spot a few more times. He let go of my hands, cupping his palms underneath the hollows of my knees and lifting my legs upwards. His strong biceps flexing as he pushed my legs down to the mattress, bending me in half. The new position allowing him to push impossibly further into the back of my wet and flushed heat. He moaned loudly, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes briefly as he relished in the new sensation. He was laser focused, dark eyes piercing into my soul with powerful determination. He was chasing the intoxicating feeling of drowning himself inside me, the blissful high that quite literally cleared his mind and fucked the pain, any pain, away.

A strangled, low-pitched groan left him as I jolted around him, my body dangerously close to its breaking point. “D-don’t you dare. C-cum yet.” He barked through gritted teeth. I knew he wanted us to do that together, it’s what he loved most. But at the pace he was going I couldn’t hold on much longer.

“Rex I-I can’t…I’m unnnf-“ I whined, feeling myself beginning to flutter around him. His eyes went wild at my defiance and he slipped out of me just as quickly as he’d shoved inside. He grabbed my arms and pulled me up to my knees before him.

He gripped my lower jaw with his hand and forced me to look up at him, “Since you can’t be a good girl and behave yourself, do what I ask…I’m gonna fuck your pretty little mouth instead.” He teased, leaning down to place a sloppy open-mouthed kiss to my swollen lips. “And if you touch yourself before I say I’m gonna make you wait even longer to cum again, my pretty girl.” Two blunt fingers pried open my lower lip, running them across my tongue.

I did already cum once. It was only fair. But I was as needy and impatient as he was. It had been too long. I closed my lips around his fingers and sucked off of them with a wet pop. “I thought I was always first.” I replied, echoing his favorite little phrase back to him before enveloping his wet fingers in my mouth again.

He laughed wickedly, burying his fingers in my hair and forcing me downward toward where he really wanted my attention. “That’s supposed to be my line, cyar’ika. I break that rule when I feel like it.” He scolded, his other hand bringing his pounding cock to my lips. The dark swollen head was slick with a mixture of him and I, slippery enough for me to take down my throat with no effort. My eyes shot up at him, glaring down at me threateningly, commanding me to do as he asked.

He was aching, the long vein pulsing from base to tip, the flow of blood making his cock jump excitedly. I eased forward and suckled the tip gently, the pressure from my hollowing cheeks pulling delightfully at the taut muscle. I moaned around him softly, enjoying the wet mess I’d already made all over him.

He moaned deeply, closing his eyes briefly to revel in the sensation of my mouth on him, something he always wished for and always thought about whenever he was away. I slurped down on him suddenly, sliding the entire drenched thing right down my throat. He tightened his grip on the back of my head and hissed, his other hand stroking my neck and gently reminding me to look up at him. Always look at him. His most favorite view was my pretty face with my mouth full of him. I swallowed around him, the muscles contracting pulling him deeper into the hollow of my throat.

“Good girl. Oh- maker that’s so good.” He whispered, slowly beginning to roll his hips in and out of my mouth like this. “Stay just like this. Want to fuck your beautiful face just like this.” He muttered, the hardened edge to him faltering a little at the blissful feeling of me around him again. I hummed my confirmation earning another delighted sigh from him. The pounding veins pulsed against my lips, my tongue swirling around the shaft as he picked up the pace. His hands tangled into my hair, gripping to hold me in place as he thrusted into the wet heat of my mouth and bottomed out in my throat.

The coarse hair at the base of his cock tickled my nose, my eyelashes fluttering against the skin as his tip slid harshly into my gag reflex. I whimpered, my mouth choking closed around him. He let out a loud, garbled moan and pulled back, strands of saliva mixed with my own juices leaving a trail behind it. “Missed you, Rex. Missed how you taste so much.” I whispered. I ran a delicate hand up his thigh, the muscle contracting with restraint as he held back the release he so desperately needed.

He released his intense grip tangled in my hair and slid his palms down to my shoulders, steadying himself. I leaned forward and flicked him with the tip of my tongue, collecting the beads of pre-cum dripping from the slit. He looked down at me worshiping his still needy cock and his lips twisted into a loving smirk. “Miss you always. Look at you. So pretty when you’re cockdumb for me. My pretty filthy girl. Fucking love making you like this.”

I giggled in delight, wrapping my hand around his cock and gently stroking him. “Love doing this for you, Captain.” I smiled, taking him in my mouth again slowly without breaking eye contact.

“That’s right. That’s my girl.” He praised, brushing my hair back for me and gathering it in his hands. I bobbed my head down, sucking against him hard and releasing with an obscene pop. The longer I did this, the less time he’d last. And I was tired of waiting.

With a devious wink, I licked down his shaft, twisting over the head with my palm, before dipping lower to suck one of his balls into my mouth. His entire body shivered, a high-pitched moan echoing around the room. “Oh - osik - mesh’la…” Before I could do the same to the other one, his hands were gripping my shoulders and shoving me back onto the mattress.

I spread my legs apart, obscenely inviting him back inside. “Rex…need you. Fill me up. Please. Need to feel you everywhere.” I begged. In a flash, he leaned his body over me, maneuvering his hips between my open thighs. He rested his forehead on mine and stared into my soul as he shoved his slippery cock past my quivering opening again.

His breath was hot in my face, his mouth dropped open in delight as he watched my face contort at the feeling of being filled by him. I closed my eyes tightly as his throbbing cock somehow stretched me more than he ever has. Both his hands settled against my cheeks and he kissed me deeply and desperately. “Mesh’la. Look at me. - Fuck - look at me. Right at me.” He practically begged, returning to a powerfully slow but brutal rhythm with his hips. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and braced my open palm onto the back of his neck.

My eyes flicked open to meet his gaze and I let out a sharp cry, the burning coil in my lower belly returning with a vengeance that only he could tackle. His eyes were brimming with tears, pupils dilated with unbridled lust. His honey brown irises reflecting nothing but powerful love dazed devotion to me. My breath hitched in my throat, a strong and deep-rooted passion spread across where my chest met his.

In that moment, it had hit him. He almost died. He almost lost this. He never thought he’d live to see me again. He was exposing everything he feared, all the pain he felt, to me. Fucking me like it was his last night alive because for him, it almost was. He loved me. Truly, deeply, selflessly, loved me. He couldn’t say it in so many words right this second, but he wanted me to feel it. To know how intensely he loved me.

His galaxy shattering dedication to me was his sole respite to the only life of endless war that he had ever known. And after all this time, all the battles, endless sleepless nights missing this and wishing this was his life instead of what he was given, burying deep inside him the only truly selfish thing he had ever allowed himself to want, right here was where he found his footing. Right here in my arms is where his previous mission ended and his ultimate one began.

The feeling blooming between us was so intense that it sparked a renewed urgency in both of us. My walls contracted tightly, almost to the point of discomfort. The powerful thrusts of his cock into the collapsing space made me feel his every last vein and twitch inside me. I didn’t have enough air filling my lungs to even allow sounds to come out. I clung to him, resting a hand against his jaw and mindlessly open mouth kissing his lips while he lost himself within me.

His hand shifted down between our bodies, fingers twisting perfectly trained circles along my sensitive clit. Tingling spread throughout all my limbs outward from my center. Finally finding my voice, I screamed desperately, my eyes never leaving their connection with Rex’s. Hot tears were suddenly streaming down my own cheeks as he dragged himself out of me. My pussy was wrapped so tightly around him it didn’t seem to want to release him even an inch. “Cum with me, Rex. Please. Please. I love you.” I moaned desperately between needy kisses and harsh uncontrolled gasps for breath.

Finally, his eyes screwed shut, propelling himself so deep inside me it felt like I was splitting at the seams. I spasmed around him, my body convulsing forward further into his chest. He came instantly, his cock pulsating violently as he pumped load after load inside me. The warmth of his seed surged through me, unraveling the blindingly intense pressure burning in my core. His eyes fluttered, but remained open, determined to watch me take all of him, every last bit of him.

I arched into him, gyrating my hips in perfect timing with his and riding out my high. He whispered praises and delightful words of encouragement into our kisses, pulling every ounce of pleasure out of me with every turn of his fingers on my clit. The pleasure overtook me and with his final thrust into me I collapsed, grasping onto his strong frame for dear life.

I called his name as loud as I could without looking away from his perfect face. I couldn’t look away from him. Every breath was our breath, every sound we made was together, every desperate touch was to meld our bodies into one. The broken shattered pieces of his soul knew no other way to heal but to spill themselves into me. Into the sanctuary of love I had always been to him.

He called my name twice as loud as I had his, breaking our gaze to rest his tired head against my cheek. He was spent in every sense of the word. “I love you, mesh’la. I love you. Always. I couldn’t die without letting you know one more time.” He panted, muttering a thousand more breathless I love you’s against my skin. “You…you’re the only thing that makes me glad I didn’t die.” He collapsed on top of me, resting the entirety of his exhausted upper torso on mine.

I shuddered, the dark weight of those words not being taken lightly by me. I cupped the back of his neck, gently running my fingertips against the scars on his skin. He felt guilty. I know he did. He was so happy right in this moment, but after surviving what he did he truly didn’t think he deserved it. I let my tears fall down my cheeks and pulled him into me. I couldn’t come up with words to soothe the level of broken he felt right now. “Rex...”

“I-I want to tell you what happened. I…need you to understand what we’re facing now. So you can be prepared but I’m- I’m- so tired…” he was slowly beginning to trail off into faded whispers.

“Not now, my love. You need to rest. We’ll talk when you wake up. I’ll stay right here. Won’t leave you, won’t wake you up. Just take all the time you need.” I whispered, cooing softly in his ear as I caressed the area around his newest scar on his scalp.

“Gotta…give you…next contact’s coordinates. Cut’s… on Saleucami…nav’s…got it programmed. Get us going.” He whispered, rolling over off me into the now ruined mattress below. I peeled myself up and coaxed my wobbling legs to the edge of the bunk.

Saleucami, huh? I’d only ever really heard the story. And never the whole thing. But if Rex had someone he trusted there, then that’s where we’d go. I set my feet on the floor and stepped forward, faltering slightly as my entire body screamed in the aftermath of what we’d done. Rex softly chuckled, still finding time to be satisfied with his handiwork as he nuzzled his face into a pillow. I kept going, crossing the living quarters to open the door and heading up the ladder to the cockpit.

I scrolled through the navicomputer until I found the position of the planet Rex had programmed. Neutral system, pretty remote and nothing of any note on it besides farming. Who was there anyways? Can’t imagine Rex had many friends outside the GAR and especially none who were farmers. I tapped a few buttons and the ship lifted off the moon’s surface. Its signature was cloaked and constantly scrambling which was good because whoever we were going to see probably didn’t know we were coming.

I slipped back out of the cockpit and down the ladder to our room. I could already hear him snoring gently. I stepped inside and closed the doors, flicking off the light and letting the hum of our hyperdrive engines cut the silence. He sprawled himself out on the bunk, which was much bigger than any bed he was used to and had left a wide space for me to crawl in beside him. I lifted the sheet and cuddled into his open arms, nuzzling into the warmth of his naked body. For the first time since I’d found him here, he seemed normal and relaxed. I laid beside him, watching over him as he slept, far too worried about him to get any sleep myself.

I’d never seen him cry. Never. Today, I watched him shatter. He tried so hard to keep pulling himself together. It was in his very nature to always push on, keep going, mourn later. He couldn’t keep a lid on that anymore. Maybe it was the lack of chip making him feel emotions like any nat-born would, maybe it was just the unbearable weight of the universe finally knocking him over, maybe it was him finally being brave enough to admit the war had broken him.

Whatever it was that he needed to explain to me had me worried sick. And rightfully so. Because after finally falling asleep beside him, he woke me up. Screaming.

Notes: I hope this tears you apart and makes you cry like it did me, I fell apart for him so many times while writing this. He's grieving heavily, but he missed her and he loves her and wants her to know it. Even if he's an emotional wreck (and doesn't want to admit that to her) he won't let that affect the way he treats her. This is that I-almost-died s*x lololol.

#comment reblog #thank you for reading bby💚#wip captain’s log #wip captains log #captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #captain rex fanfiction #captain rex fanfic

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gibberishquestion · 3 years ago

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you know what i irrationally dislike? when something is in italics and a word within it should be italicized so it’s written in normal print. i know there’s nothing else that can be done but it disrupts the flow and fills me with rage. i’m not playing pretend with you that’s not italicized

#i’m emotionally volatile rn #sawyer speaking #ok to rb #almost everything i post is ok to rb unless i say otherwise but i like clarifying <3

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watchwithbee · 4 years ago

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the fosters, s1e11

tw: brief mentions of (fictional) past r*pe and s*xual a*sault, foster siblings having romantic/sexual relationships, poor mental health, father figure fighting an alcohol problem, somewhat shitty commentary but that’s everything I post lmao

1k words

(started about 10 minutes in)

HELL YEAH JUDE

PREACH

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF BBY BOY

ALSO HEY BRANDON YOU PIECE OF SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

I’M STILL PISSED AT HIM

Ju: you’re no better than liam >:(

Me: FUCK HIM UP BABY BOY

B: I love callie

[egregious puking noises]

Look ship whatever you want

Just acknowledge when things are problematic

Ship brallie to your heart’s content as long as you don’t condone in*est IRL

I’m not here to police ppl, I’m just giving opinions no one asked for cause that’s the entire purpose of this blog

Oh no jude

Poor boy

I literally hate brandon sm he needs to get his shit together

[aggressive vibing to the theme song]

[weeping] you’re surrounded by love and you’re wanted

I used to think the theme was cheesy

Now i literally love it sm

The RUBBER DUCKY

THE HAND HOLDING

Ugh ads

I really think people are overlooking jude’s feelings rn

Omfg stef’s mom (her name is sharon, bee)

I love her

I love jude and sharon’s dynamic it’s

Chef’s kiss

Immaculate

Sh: I’m not gonna break up with him cause I love his bed

“Subtext, by calvin klein ;)”

Oh right this is the bed that fucks up their marriage

Ju: I’m a taco :D

Me: [I can’t find it but the clip from b99 where boyle says I’m gonna need a minute

It cuts to a black screen that says one minute later than cuts back to charles tear and snot stained face after clearly crying a lot

Boyle: sorry for the sobbing and the wailing and the weird snorting noise I made at the end

But yeah that’s me rn]

Oh god not more jesus lexi drama

I wish mariana and jesus got along better

Also jake t austin jesus walked so noah centineo jesus could run

I love that typed out it looks like I mean jesus the religious figure

Oh shit

Lexi needs to stop gatekeeping and mariana needs to stop taking the division of time as a personal offense

I mean she and jesus are both taurus so I’m not surprised they’re clashing

Oh god callie why did you run away w wyatt

I hate wyatt

I hate the aliens dialogue

W: the government is making it seem fake oOoOoH

Literally hate it

Callie “he’s better off without me” addams foster is getting on my last fuckin nerve

Like the insensitivity?????

The not actually caring about the people around you under the guise of caring about them??????

The only difference between martyrdom and soupyslide is press coverage

The whole Wyatt And Callie On The Run thing is getting old and it’s been happening for like 10 minutes

Self sacrifice isn’t cute sis

WYATT WHAT THE FUCK

He claims to care about her and yet

Deletes the fucking voicemail from her mom??????????

What???????

Christ stef is fucking crying

Sh: my love…

STEF AND HER MOM BOTH CALL PPL MY LOVE

SO FUCKING CUTE

Now wyatt is playing the good guy???F???

Okay hold up

Look

Callie and brandon are both at fault for kissing each other at stef and lena’s wedding

which was SO cute btw

the wedding not the gross kiss

I will say that callie, who was literally r*ped by L*am, was incredibly emotionally volatile then bc everything with him had been stirred up and she just found out he wouldn’t go to jail

No one would be surprised if she did something impulsive and self destructive bc of the trauma, especially something related to having an inappropriate relationship with a foster brother

Brandon knew about all of this and he wasn’t having flashbacks or a bunch of trauma about anything

He should have stopped her or at least pushed her away

And he didn’t

I’m not saying Callie isn’t at fault too, what I am saying is that brandon had more responsibility in that situation and didn’t do what a decent person would do

WYATT AND BRANDON ARE BOTH BAD FOR CALLIE

SHE DOESN’T NEED A RELATIONSHIP RN SHE NEEDS A LOVING SUPPORTIVE FAMILY

Callie is so clearly sprialing rn

At least Wyatt is actually trying to help her

No one can handle a stressful situation in this show

I can’t describe how much I hate the pseudo end of the fucking world energy they’re going for

At least wyatt had the decency to not immediately try to share a bed w her

I like how flustered he gets cuddling her

That’s cute at least

I don’t like that callie didn’t consider that sharing a bed would make him nervous or uncomfy

OH SHIT THERE THEY ARE

MOMS HAVE ENTERED THE CHAT

And now callie, feeling trapped again, is going to run away yet again

And do something impulsive

Yet again

Jfc

Look I have trauma and a strong fight or flight response too, but I dont hurt the people I love

Hitching a ride with a trucker??????????? She’s going to put herself in a very avoidable irreversibly bad situation

I love mike getting to be a good dad figure

It’s rare with the whole alcoholic plot

I really hate that too btw

He has a comforting presence

Let him be a good dad

Mariana you can want to be vegan but pls don’t be a toxic vegan

Let people make their own choices

I love frazzled mike trying to be a good dad

I wish mariana would be a little bit more of a problem solver

If she doesn’t want any animal products or peanut butter offer to make your own lunch maybe??????

I hate how fast Jesus and Mariana forgave brandon after the whole “We ToOk YoU iN wHeN NoOnE eLsE wAnTeD yOu!!! sTeF iS mY mOm!!!!” bullshit

“Mom’s car won’t start” lmao

What the actual fuck callie

If she’s this at risk for such self destructive behavior she needs way more help

HOT GIRL WITH PINK MULLET

MARRY ME

Oh god not the begging for a job scene

I hate this part

I’m a little over half way done with the episode so I’ll cut it here, part 2 will be up shortly

#the fosters #anti brallie #netflix #show review #idk what else to tag this #s1e11 #the fosters s1e11 #watch with bee

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ellie-sande · 5 years ago

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Euphoria- a dumb bitch’s HOT TAKE

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m gonna do an analysis of the characters I think are the most interesting (read as fuck McKay, he boring as SHIIIITT), so this shit is gonna be looooong. Y’all better brace yourselves UwUUUU 🥺😝😩😈

The episode: I didn’t really feel a strong emotion towards it??? Like, it was definitely the sloppiest episode by far in terms of the way that everything was edited and the timeline of events. It was visually stimulating and literal poetic cinema, as always, but that’s nothing new with Euphoria. I think a lot of the jumps between characters and scenes were completely unnecessary and honestly kind of agitating?? Instead of leaving us with new unanswered questions, we have the same ones we’ve had the whole season? In my opinion, it would’ve been more effective for them to have fully closed some plot points or at least bring them to a point where I’m still interested (I’m looking at you, Nate and Jules plot). But like, overall it's still a pretty decent episode. I think the ending was messy because we don’t know how much of it was just a music video and how much was legit part of the storyline which is a BIG DEAL. It just came after one of the best in the season, which made it feel significantly weaker. but tHat’S jUsT my oPINION 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Jules:

I think Jules is the biggest wildcard of the season, and we know so little about her, so it’s kind of difficult to understand what her intention is. I think that’s absolutely intentional by the writers because they want the audience in Rue’s head, y’know??? That’s my way of warning y’all that this shit is LONG 🤷🏾‍♀️

When Jules came clean about everything, she was doing what she thought was best for the relationship, which is open communication. She could tell that her not telling Rue about Nate was ruining the relationship (she said so in ep. 7). There was never malicious intent in her telling Rue about her hookup and Nate. She was just doing what she thought was right, and tbh??? IM PROUD OF THAT DUMBASS. One of her biggest issues is definitely effective and open communication and this is definitely a step in the right direction, y’know??

THAT BEING SAID, when I first watched the episode, I thought that her and Anna still flirting or whatevah and being iN loVE was out of character and went against the arc that I was expecting from Jules. BUUUUUT, I thought about it and here’s my take: I think that Jules just wants to be free from the external pressures in east highland, y’know? This whole entire season, her character did not get a fucking BREAK so I totally understand. There’s so much responsibility and pressure for her to be perfect or act a certain way, and for her, running away was the easiest way for her to disassociate herself from that responsibility. No 17 yr old should feel like the weight of the world and the safety of the people that she loves are on her shoulders. My bby @lameparty made an amazing point in our chat about how all of her actions (being more “free” and open about her issues with rue) are futile attempts at replicating the liberation and nonchalant-ness she felt while she was away. It’s her way of desperately (and unhealthily) bringing home that atmosphere.

i’ve seen a lot of people assume that jules is fully aware of her power over rue and takes advantage of it, uses her, and leaves her before she needs her next fix of attention, but i totally don’t agree??? i think that for the most part, jules has been emotionally supportive of rue and has been there for her when she needed her. i mean she did that LITERALLY EVERY EPISODE EXCEPT FOR 6+7 (for good reason. the bitch was going through the mOST). she never wanted or intended for rue to form a dependency on her, she just wanted her best friend to be sober and thrive because her mom was an addict and that ruined her adolescence (for obvious reasons). so when the people around her kept pressuring her with the weight of rue’s sobriety, she freaked out a bit (and for good reason. no one should be anyone’s sole reason to do literally ANYTHING). she knew that regardless of the severity of her actions, rue’s relapse was inevitable if the relationship continued on like that (i mean, in ep. 5, the bitch said WHEN you hate me, not if because she knows that in rue’s current mental state, a relapse, miscommunication, or a wrong step on jules’s side is inevitable). PLUS, jules is an extremely volatile person. her first instinct is to physically and emotionally escape whenever the going gets tough, so i think she knew that this probably couldn’t work.

Moreover, the bitch is embracing her queerness and as much as I don’t really looooveeee how she’s doing it, it makes sense with her character. I think she uses sex as an escape and a form of validation, so of course this is how she’s going to explore her sexuality. She just wants to be free and have fun and be adventurous atm and the whole Nate thing + being in her first relationship is not IT for her rn and that’s totally fair. That being said, I think her arc is gonna be about her accepting that freedom isn’t just sex and drugs??? It’s way more than that and comes in different (and way healthier) ways, but that’s what growing is. It’s learning from mistakes and figuring out what you like, so I can’t really be mad at her.

BUUUUUTTTT, my bitch said/did some things that i can’t stand by. she said that she loved rue at the train station, knowing that rue is weak for her and would probably give in and come with her on this wild adventure. that is FUCKING PROBLEMATIC. and prior to that, the bitch said that she THOUGHT THAT RUE WOULD THRIVE IN THE ENVIRONMENT THAT SHE WAS IN. WHAT??? as much as i believe that she had good intentions and she really just wanted to explore the world with her girl, that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still manipulative at worst, inconsiderate at best, and problematic considering the dynamic that the two of them have. i get that she genuinely wants rue to meet her new friends and anna, but all in all, it’s so reckless for her to even consider it. she’s aware that rue is a recovering addict and she was willing to put her in a toxic environment where she would be surrounded by drugs and alcohol, making a relapse literally SO EASY. and on top of that, jules knows that she’s probably going to hook up with anna and considering that rue is so in love with jules, that would’ve hurt her soooo much, enough for her to probably want to numb the pain, y’know??? but all in all, that’s what growing up is. it’s two steps forward and one step back, y’know? even though jules is starting to see the beauty in honest communication and queerness, she did try to manipulate rue, even if that wasn’t necessarily her intention.

I think that Anna replaces Jules’s older, non-committal man to pine over. She never really fixed her problem of trying to find validation from the wrong people, it’s just expressing itself in a different form. It’s obvious that Anna is significantly older than her (peep the message that Anna sent about being shocked that Jules is in high school) and I think that just like a lot of people her age, she feels special or validated when she’s liked by someone older and more experienced. The relationship is obviously supposed to be a type of foil to her previous relationship with cis white men. Add the fact that there are facets of Anna’s personality that remind Jules of Rue, the gal that Jules is falling for, which makes them the perfect person for Jules to pine over because the relationship is something that she’s used to (texting, non-committal, toxic).

In summary, I think she loves the idea of Anna (independent, older, experienced, free spirited, and fun) but loves rue regardless of the fact that she doesn’t/can’t provide those things for her. I think that jules also associates Anna with adventure and discovery and as the young ambitious bitch that she is, it obviously is an attractive idea for her y’know??? for her, i think rue is the stability, monogamy and commitment that she might not be ready for yet, even tho she loves rue and wants a future with her. Her relationship with Rue is hard work and maybe a bit heartbreaking, but overall, the connection is stronger and the passion and commitment that she’ll give and receive will make the relationship way more fulfilling than whatever half-assed thing she’ll have with Anna. Next season, she’ll probably come back either heartbroken, unfulfilled or still in love with Rue, but the question is should rue take her back or nah y’know?? She’ll definitely be pining for Rue when she gets back and rue may not be available or willing anymore. We’ll seeeeeeeee.

Rue:

My bitch is in PAIIINNN and I hate it. I think that her saying no to leaving with Jules even if a big part of her wanted to run away with her is amazing progress for her. She finally chose her family and herself first, not Jules, which will break her dependence on Jules. Like, I’m SOOOOO proud of her and she’s come so far as a character. I’m not sure as to where the music video starts and the season ends, but I have two theories. Either she: never actually snorted that line of coke and we’ll see her progress next season OR she overdosed and came back to life. The fact that the song ended so abruptly means that the season will probably start right where it left off. Unless told otherwise tho, the show ends with her crying and remembering her family and all the shit she’s put them through because that’s a waaayyy more interesting arc (EDIT: JACOB SAID THAT RUE’S DEFINITELY ALIVE!!! I KEEP WINNING FR!!! MY! MIND!) She’s no longer a selfish addict with no reason to live. She’s seeing that the people around her, even without Jules there, support her and have been by her side through the most and maybe that’s good enough atm.

Lexi:

against popular opinion, i don’t necessarily think that the big reveal of her sexuality is that she’s a lesbian. to ME, it seems like they’re setting up that she’s ace and probs bi or homo-romantic??? the average sexual person knows who they want to fuck or kiss, and the fact that she has to ask for advice from her sister I think is foreshadowing that she doesn’t know. Not because she’s shy or because she’s a lesbian, but because she truly just doesn’t want to fuck anyone. and if that’s the case i’m SO EXCITED TF??? i’ve never seen that type of character arc on mainstream media and it’s sooo necessary to show that story in a positive light. i think that the show is waaayyy too intentional and clever to not give proper hints at her liking rue. If they were setting up her and rue, they should’ve done more to portray the pining on Lexi’s side. they’ve set up more of a longing for friendship and comfort than anything else and tbh???? that’s wayyy more interesting and relatable for me??? but that’s my opinion 🤷🏾‍♀️

That being said, i could see her and rue together next season bc the foreshadowing is sooo vague that they can do whatever the fuck they want next season. maude and zendaya need to work on their chemistry then bc iTS NOT CLICKING. i definitely think that rue is going to use her tho, which isn’t fair to lexi. additionally, lexi is a bit too soft to stand her ground with rue, and if rue goes down the relapse route next season, their dynamic is going to be the same toxic dynamic they had up until episode 5. She’s an amazing person that deserves better than being an easy out or second best.

i think that because she was raised in her sister’s shadow with a shit ton less attention and love from literally everyone in her family, she has low self-image, so it would make sense that she wants the intimacy that comes from a relationship. maybe her addiction is just being there for others bc no one was there for her when she needed them??? @lameparty spilt the truth tea bc they said that “she exists for other people right now and she exists in the safe + limiting shadow of her sister,” and i think that rue represents a sort of freedom from that because rue is only hers and rue can’t see her as second best to her sister. as a fellow semi-abandoned child turned mom-friend, this makes total sense to me bc she wants to make sure that everyone around her never feels as neglected as she did her whole life.

Rue and Jules:

honestly, i’m tired of people blaming rue’s relapse on jules not being there. she literally has had MI since she was a kid. this shit ain’t new. and even if it was new, the fact that so many of the viewers were angry at jules for not being there during rue’s manic/depressive episode angers me for three reasons. a) JULES WAS DEPRESSED. she legit didn’t leave her bed for the whole week, to the point that her father was worried. b) just like jules, rue probably only told her that she was feeling under the weather and that she missed her. how is she supposed to magically put together that rue is going through a depressive/manic episode??? c) no person should be your sole reason to be happy. y’all want a CODEPENDENCY not a relationship, and like i totally understand wanting to protect rue. she’s the main character and we’re always in her head, but from episode three, it was pretty obvious that her definition of love is really skewed. she said that you know that you love someone when you can’t live without them, which is generally reaaaallly unhealthy.

these two are such an interesting dynamic, and tbh, i think they’re actually really good for each other (not rn, obviously). i think this is a case of right person, wrong time. they’re obviously soul mates/star crossed lovers, but the problem is that neither of them is mature enough to be in a serious relationship. rue is a recovering addict with a dependency issue and jules is an overly eager, ambitious person that’s never been in a loving relationship. one of the biggest issues in their relationship is the fact that these two have different wants and needs from the relationship. rue fell for jules almost immediately, has wanted to be with her ever since, and wants stability, comfort, and monogamy. on the other hand, jules wants adventure, excitement, and exploration. jules obviously pictures spending her life with rue, but the problem is that in the moment, she can’t be with rue without hurting her because she’s still exploring her queerness, which means that she’ll have one foot out the door until she’s gotten her fill.

because of that, i’m really proud of BOTH OF THEM for standing their ground and choosing themselves instead of each other. i have no doubt that both of them had a part of themselves that regretted leaving the other person, but at the end of the day, it was what was necessary.

even though rue was the person that suggested running away, she became hesitant because she finally thought about her FAMILY. y’all, that’s AMAZING character development because, at the beginning of the season, rue literally walked over every person that was in her life in order to get her fix. she stole from her mom, got lexi to pee for her, yelled at fez when he didn’t give her drugs, etc. up until episode 5 or so, rue was an extremely selfish character with one exception: jules. from the moment she met jules, her only goal was to make her as happy as jules makes her just by being there, and because of that, she has sacrificed her comfort in some situations. this is the exact opposite of her previous issue where instead not caring about anyone including herself, she only cares about one person an exceeding amount. both of these are problematic. more importantly, this allows her to finally break her dependency on jules. rue fell for jules and stayed sober for her because it felt like she was her flashlight in the dark cave that is her life, and now, she has to find that jules isn’t the only light. her family, lexi, fez, the rest of the girls are all there AND my hope is that she finds that she can be her own light and do this for herself. as much as her decision hurts both the audience and rue, this shows that she’s not just a stagnant character and that she’s learning and evolving into an amazing person. i’m proud of jules because she didn’t stay behind out of guilt or worry. that would’ve perpetuated rue’s dependency and overall, probably made jules resent rue.

i think that jules was being honest when she said that she was in love with rue, i really do. there was an earnest and almost shy look in her eyes, which was so cute??? but it’s honestly more than that. jules looks for rue no matter where she is. for her, rue is her home and something that she finds comfort in. it was obvious in episode 4 and 7. in episode 4, jules runs to rue because she finds comfort in her. whenever she’s in rue’s arms, she feels a warmth that i don’t think she’s ever felt with anyone else and when she finds that tyler isn’t real, her first thought is that rue has been there for her through thick and thin and is her safe place. it’s obvious why she gravitates towards anna. she sees rue in her, which immediately makes her feel at ease. add the fake deep convo, their sex appeal and the drugs, and you have a hella messy situation. and then there’s the fucking romeo and juliet passage that jules recites to rue that basically says that she’s in love with rue, but thinks everything is happening too fast and will come crashing down. she knows that given that they had more time/weren’t so eager to get together, the relationship would be beautiful and flourish, but they aren’t giving each other the space to grow, which was eventually the end of their relationship (at least for now).

Kat:

I’m proud of her. She did the damn thing. NEXT

Nate:

I think that Nate and McKay are not all that different. His breakdown this ep is more or less for the same reasons as McKay’s breakdown after those guys assaulted him in front of his girl which is that he felt emasculated by his dad overpowering him. In episode two, he did the same flexing thing after his workout. I think it’s his way of feeling powerful and masculine. All this just shows that he needs fucking therapy, but he’s not just some sociopath y’know? His character is deeper than that and can feel pain and anguish. I’m honestly so happy that they included that because it both shows the abuse in his relationship with his dad which obviously carries into his relationships with women and grounds him as a character. that being said, nate is an asshole and there’s no better ship on this show than nate + electric chair 🥺😝😩(but, i’ll settle for prison or whatevahhhhh)

all in all, I think that this show has two amazing themes in it which are: teens are waayyy more resilient than people think and addiction comes in different forms and each of them is problematic and selfish. i think that the show is amazing at getting people to empathize with rue, but i feel like people need to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of these characters are HUMAN and make a lot of shitty mistakes. no character should be cancelled just because they make a mistake, especially when the characters are supposed to be literal hormonal teenagers????? every character on this show is deserving of the audience's understanding (except McKay. FUCK HIM)

#euphoria #rue x jules #jules x rue #lexi howard #nate jacobs #im spiraling can y'all tell??? akldjfl;asdfkadslkjf;asdkjf;#jules protection squad where y'all AT????

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ambitchiovs · 5 years ago

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lenny back at it again… i warned y’all about the intros dump. anyway, off to this bitch:

&&. isn’t that [ DEBORAH ANN WOLL ] walking around the hamptons? oh no, nevermind it’s just [ ADELAIDE MONTSERRAT ]. y'know, the [ 19 ] year old [ CIS FEMALE ] known to be quite [ CHARISMATIC and DETERMINED ] but also [ CUNNING and RUTHLESS ]. currently, the police has them as [ A PERSON OF INTEREST ] in the case of samantha wheeler, because they [ WERE PART OF SAMANTHA’S FRIEND GROUND ]. but they go on about their life as [ A STUDENT ]. i wonder what secrets they’re keeping? [ lenny/23/gmt+3/she/her ]

TW: eating disorders, addiction, mental disorders, possible suicidal thoughts/mentions

DON’T YOU EVER TAME YOUR DEMONS, ALWAYS KEEP THEM ON A LEASH.

In the eyes of Adelaide Montserrat, there was never a girl to be found. If you dare to pry, you will not find what strangers see when they pass her by the crowd. You will look into a bottomless void that threatens to swallow you whole and it will look back at you with smiling teeth. Little Addie, once a girl with pink tutu’s and ballerina shoes, was never one to be meddled with - she would captivate all her teachers and classmates with rosy cheeks and a clever tongue beyond her years, but there was nothing warm or kind about the little girl whose parents held so close she nearly choked to death.

History goes, her father — her biological father, anyhow, was a very powerful politician before he dropped dead. Nobody really knows what happened that night - all everybody seems to know is that all her loved ones seem to fall like dominoes. Her father died when she was 16, during a robbery. The men were never caught, but little Adelaide was left bawling into her mother’s lap. Surprising as it may be, she was actually the product of a one night stand and poor lack of judgement, or so her mother likes to tell her - but Catherine Montserrat was no fool, and she took him for all he had - and as it turns out… That was a lot.

That doesn’t come cheap, for Adelaide, anyways. Being a part of a new family meant she now had a new player to share her inheritance with - and damned if she didn’t do everything she could to throw them off the board. In the eyes of her parents, she could do no wrong - she was pure and pristine and everything they hoped their little girl would be. You’d assume being the younger sibling meant competing for attention - but she never competed. She never even considered it a competition. She won, plain and simple. Her half brother, that man who called himself her “father” now were but pebbles in her shoes, nuisances she had to navigate through to continue on with her luxurious lifestyle. They didn’t understood her, didn’t particularly wanted to, and it was easier to smear on some foundation and bake it with powder than let explain why her skin was cracking. It was easier to strap on those old ballerina shoes and put on a show until her toes were bleeding, than to try and show them what was behind the curtains. And all jewelry in the world, all praise, all money and countless designer bags she accumulated every year could never fill up that gaping hole, that detachment she felt towards the outside world and inability to connect with things and people - even those supposedly closest to her.

You see, Adelaide didn’t lose, because she tailored the game to her whims and batted her heavy set of lashes to make it seem fair. And if she did lose - the game be damned; she’d destroy it and any evidence of her failure with the wrath of a woman scorned. She didn’t want to be a little sister, or a daughter, or something for men to gawk at. She wanted to be something else. Anything other than this vile thing dripping with self-loathing , cloaked in a veil of perfectionism. Something that wasn’t rammed into this golden mold before she even took her very first breath.

Addie’s behavior as well as their parents favoritism only blurred the lines between love and hate between the half-siblings, complicating her understanding of relationships even further. And it certainly didn’t help that her new brother was just as stubborn and competitive as she was. The children were picture perfect, carrying on the legacy of their parents on their backs as if it weighed no more than a feather - while whatever had been good or soft in them began to rot.

But just who is Adelaide Montserrat? The reincarnation of the Virgin Mary to most. The girl with perfect hair, perfect hair and a perfect family. In truth, Adelaide could be seen only as a terror taken human form to those who opposed her, and a perfect, exemplary girl for those who keep a safe distance. What she is, what she truly is, is a game of smoking mirrors - a fragmented girl, scattered into so many pieces to cater to the whims of crowds, that now, when she looks into a mirror, the image that looks back is something recognizable; distorted.

Fueled by her own securities and desire to obtain perfection, paired with the crowd of rich kids that were offered to her as friends growing up, it didn’t take for things to escalate; by the age of only fourteen, poisoning their blood with alcohol, snorting up enough cocaine so she had to carry around wipes and kicking each other in the stomach while crouching over the toilet became somehow ordinary. Encouraged, even. All that deep-rooted self-hatred had to spill someway, somehow. She grew to resent how boys were granted more freedom, more room to misbehave and make mistake. She resented girls for being themselves, for not wanting to scream every second of every day. And she resented Samantha for how genuinely she could smile - for how easily everything came to her, and for how she was everything she could never be; while she was lying in a grave she dug herself - shackled to the image of perfection she’d crafted, held to the highest of regards, expected to never falter nor stutter. It was hard to define the relationship between her - one moment Addie was sweet, the next she was cruel. And as to that unfortunate Halloween night, she claims they parted ways before she could see anything.

All the harder she tries to cling to this illusion of control, the deeper she dives into that well. Parents often say kids will “grow out of it”; their fits of rage, their apathy towards other children, their unwillingness to share, their manipulative, spoiled ways of obtaining what they want- but Addie never did. Somewhere inside there’s still that little girl who’d rather break her toys in half than to share it with other kids. Who’d bump into other little girls at school, and tell the nurse they tripped. Who’d rather set her arm back in place herself than say “you were right”. The little girl who’ll sit in an empty throne all alone, built with the bones of the people she once claimed to love.

PERSONALITY-WISE:

Adelaide is emotionally unstable and has a very competitive, volatile, manipulative personality; she doesn’t forgive, and she sure as hell doesn’t forget, and she can lash out in incredibly ruthless ways due to her extreme lack of empathy for hers. Her addictions and unwillingness to ever speak to anyone in depth about herself only worsen the state of her BPD. Despite all this, on the surface, she can seem like just like any other pristine, privileged girl. It’s not usual for people to find her charming - she does exude that sort of magnetic aura that’s very easy to fall for, because people tend to see what they want to see - and therefore, it’s easy for her to adjust her personality to the expectations of whomever she’s trying to captivate. In a way, her entire personality has merged with her addiction: being friends with her feels a lot like moment of high in exchange for an eternity of sorrow.

She can be a loyal friend, to some extent, although she’ll never put anyone above herself. She’s also very insecure and prone to fits of rage (in private) whenever she doesn’t get what she wants (think broken mirrors and glasses), as her self-image is heavily dependent on what she can achieve and how others perceive her. Deep down, this all stems from jealousy - she so desperately wishes she could connect with other people and things the way everyone around her does, but in the end she can’t, and she’s left feeling like an outside looking in. If she’s miserable, why shouldn’t everyone around her be too?

HIT ME UP TO PLOT U COWARDS !!

for reals, though - i know this was unnecessarily long, but oh well. you can be ex friends with her? don’t know why they’re not friends anymore - but i’m willing to bet it’s addie’s fault.

maybe some sort of competitor? academic or otherwise.

maybe there’s some poor ex out there who knows what a headcase she actually is? but probably can’t say much bc they fear for her life lmao.

she wouldn’t openly date anybody who could reflect poorly on her reputation, so secret hookups??? give me someone who’s getting sick of being used pls. ( she’s a closeted bisexual. society isn’t very welcome to the idea rn ) so girl crushes yes pls let girls have crushes on her. let her manipulate them bc she knows. i need.

also gimme someone who deals drugs to her tbh, bc this needs to be kept SUPER lowkey, but it’d also be hilarious bc she wouldn’t have to fake her personality around them & it’s like bitch what the fuck this girl is dr jekyll and mr hyde.

i’d love love to see a fake relationship - but i don’t mean the ‘secretly have feelings for each other’ - i mean the… secretly despise each other but they’re image-obsessed people and like being seen as the golden couple.

oH and pls someone give me a… dare i say sisterly connection? mostly, a girl who idolizes her or puts her on a pedestal, that she might or might not have a soft spot for ( which in addie’s handbook just means she’ll be that much crueler whenever she feels like it tbh ) & see it as some sort of protegee.

idk i’m open to anything, these are just suggestions thrown at the wall here. the point is… plot w me u cowards. and yes, my muse does bite.

#hamptcns:intro

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tacetxluna-blog · 5 years ago

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I am still quite sick so I am emotionally volatile rn

but my mom (an artist who used to make a living selling her work etc.,) counseled me not to refund anything which makes me extremely uncomfortable, as if I’m stealing it.

And it made me start crying when she pointed out that I’ve been working on the design even if I haven’t actually drawn it. Because she’s right I’ve been borderline obsessing over this piece for the last seven months, trying to establish angles and color thresholds and how it’s going to curve around the arm...

and I’ve g o t to start standing up for myself.

#Reality Break | OOC #i'm l i t e r a l l y sick and tired rn #and I hate upsetting anyone on my own behalf #even if they've hurt me otherwise

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sheloveshervoid · 5 years ago

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My friend asked what I was doing to keep occupied and productive.... 😅 I sent this

Fuck I had something typed but william scared the fuck out of me so I somehow deleted it and can't remember it...

Ugh...

Something about everyone at work knows I'm crazy and pretty unstable by now. I just keep myself in enough control to not have lost any moral high ground so the only person I'm having any issues with... Is the Mormon bitch that like straight up triggers me sometimes... But she pisses off everyone else because the way she's triggering me is by way crossing socially acceptable conduct at work about talking about her "beliefs" and more specifically talking down about things she doesn't believe in....

(We're basically half a step away from an involving hr point here)

And yesterday was really emotional for me because dustin triggered me fucking hard in the morning and I went to work fucking wrecked. I don't even remember specifics RN and don't want to.

I warned my boss ahead of time and took it slow and only cried a few times..... And made it pretty successfully overall through the day....

Got home and gave alex a paper with my "income" so he can get child support adjusted cause [insert rant about him being a dick and how much I'm.about to rip him a new one if I ever have time to focus long enough to type it and sort my thoughts into something coherent and valid] his new job pays more and I'm sick of having to nag his fucking ass about paying me every single time (He's not once just paid me of his own volition I have so far begged and asked nicely and bitched about and then demanded, in that order)

Ahem... But it got better cause that was only 3 seconds and then I was snuggled with william. Also dustin was here and we smoked and watched a super good netflix series tou have to fucking watch omg

Also I'm on a tool kick,(omgerd the new album is so good) and trying to get into witchy shit as a side/spiritual track for my emotional control work I'm also doing through mental work and microdosing and music manipulations and practicing mindfulness and I've been doing some meditation practice before bed some nights too...

Not enough hours in the day for how much I wanna do... Plus I gotta meal place. And grocery show and donate and work its just... Slow progress on any of my side projects of self... I also want more time for art and camping and nature but like... Ugh....

Mostly I just burn my time relaxing after work before my 9pm bedtime smoking and chilling with dustin for 2 1/2 hours a night on my work days so that I don't totally snap... cause I need that too.... Except that's like... Idk getting incredibly volatile for me emotionally...its not 100% his fault but he also doesn't always listen to me or change all of how he acts either... So its a hard black and white situation that I can't balance so sometimes that becomes overwhelming too....

I need to do better though for william and hes getting too much of the short end of my stick and that's not okay either and that guilt kills me.... But I'm trying not to let all this crush me either...

Haha you asked a loaded question apparently.

#personal #oversharing

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avant-sad · 6 years ago

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kind of a weird thing to say but I’m gonna shout into the void at 4 am anyway

I occasionally still think about the person I was when I was 18-19 and like, my first adult college relationship. if you’ve been following this blog for a long time you know that that ended bad and neither of us particularly care for each other anymore, right?

but occasionally I really really wish that I could apologize to the person in question and I’m having one of those moments rn. like, I was a fucking demon at that age and I didn’t realize it.

like, seriously. I looked down on just about everything for shit as inconsequential as the music they liked. I acted like I believed I was an authority on any subject (I probably did). I was just getting into left wing politics/feminism but didn’t understand them at all but insisted on running my mouth anyway. on top of all that I was emotionally volatile and, more often than not, selfish. I routinely overshared and behaved histrionically on the web.

so. not the easiest person in the world to be in a relationship with, right? I had somehow convinced myself that I was the real victim of the whole thing but holy fuck dude, like, you could not have been more unlikeable if you tried. it would have driven anybody out of their minds.

and like yeah I was literally a teenager at the time, still feeling out the world and settling on an identity. it was still uncool. a lot of people were more or less plagued by my presence and what a fucking gigantic asshole the whole time I lived in SF, many of them are no longer friends with me — and no wonder — but no one got it worse than my ex from the time and I’m probably gonna die feeling bad about that.

this isn’t me deciding five years on that I want some kind of relationship with an ex from forever ago or anything like that. I’m just kind of talking but at any rate I do wish I could apologize

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residentevil7 · 7 years ago

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i’m extremely emotionally volatile rn fuck with me

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unlettered-heathen · 4 years ago

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I don’t think Marisha has forgotten or is deliberately ignoring Beaujes. Beau was content just pining because she was too scared of changing things with Jester. And I think she was battling her feeling for Yasha after Yasha leaving her (I’m sure thats how she felt in her heart of hearts about it, anyway) but now all of a sudden Yasha’s there and being emotionally available and dammit if Beau isn’t starting to feel loved.

But she’s still backing Jester 100% and trying to protect her feelings and I honestly think after TravelerCon is all done, there’ll be some soul searching as she tries to reconcile her quietly simmering love of Jester with her volatile feelings for Yasha.

At least, I hope so. The lack of BeauJes has been hitting me too and I totally get how it feels like queer baiting rn.

So, in the wake of BeauJesters seeming passing, I’m going to take a moment to be more than a little self-indulgent and explain why I love these characters and their unique dynamic so goddamn much, as well as why I’m so disheartened by the way the show seems to be taking them. Warning: essay ahead lol. This is just a rambly rant that I’m writing because it’s cathartic to vent a little bit of frustration, and I love these characters so much. (and I love the entire cast, every goddamn one, and every other character in the show too. This is about love, not hate).

So, for a few brief and wonderful episodes in this campaign, I actually believed that I was being told a love story about falling in love with your best friend, and figuring out your sexuality, while also unlearning all of the untrue lessons that the world taught you about love while you were growing up, and in so doing, finding value in yourself. Which, for me personally, is just super relatable. Like, that ticks every damn box I have lol, which partly explains why I love BeauJester so much, and I know a lot of B/J shippers feel the same. I’ve shipped B/J from super early on, but I never in a million years really believed it would happen, for a lot of reasons. Mostly homophobia, biphobia and heteronormativity. But I enjoyed their dynamic nonetheless, even though I thought (and was often TOLD by other shippers) that it didn’t stand a chance in hell of happening.

So you can imagine how VALIDATING it was when Marisha, both in character and out of game, confirmed that Beau had very significant romantic feelings for Jester. All of the crumbs we’d collected over the course of the campaign were finally coming together and all of the gaslighters who told us we were delusional suddenly had to acknowledge that there was something there. And once it had been acknowledged, it was OBVIOUS. Omg it was so obvious and I loved every second of it. It was so undeniable for the next few episodes, and in hindsight, that there was something building there between them, there was potential. There was definitely a connection between these two characters. And for a few weeks, it was great.

Then Liam - out of character - mentions that Caleb is in love with Jester. And it is immediately, fandom wide, treated with more respect than Marisha and Beau.

I know a lot of people get very very angry when this is brought up, but it is just the ugly, unfortunate reality that a lot of people in this fandom treat Jester like a manic pixie dream girl. Even the people who do not consciously believe her to be that (and I don’t think there are many that genuinely believe it), are perfectly fine /treating her/ like one, as long as it serves one of the straight men that they love so much, usually Caleb. And this is where the heteronormativity comes in. Because even though it was an out-of-game confession with no bearing on canon, Calebs feelings immediately took precedence over Beaus in terms of the fandom narrative.

I personally have never liked the way Liam handles romance in game. He did pretty much the exact same thing in campaign 1 as well, where his sad boy pines after the happy girl from afar until he’s uncontrollably in love with her, and then with no warning he drops it like a bomb. He just happened to drop it out of game this time. The main reason I don’t like this style of romance is because of how (unintentionally) manipulative it is. You see it in bad romcoms all the time. The guy makes a public declaration of love that pressures the girl into reciprocating or looking like the bad guy. But the main reason I don’t like /this particular/ declaration is the timing.

Liam - who has always said he likes things to come out in game - inexplicably decides out of game reveal something as major as Caleb being in love with Jester, right after Marisha IN GAME took steps towards Beau and Jester being together. And it completely changed the narrative. Suddenly it was “top table top table”, and that’s if Beaus feelings ever got mentioned at all. It was not at all helped by the fact that a lot of cast members (sam) still pushed Fjorester HARD, even with Jester telling Nott to stop, which must have sucked for Marisha/Beau. But even as recently as episode 99, Beau was still flirting with Jester, and there were definite hints at Jester maybe having unacknowledged feelings for Beau.

Then the hiatus happened. When we return, Beau is throwing herself at Yasha, and there’s not even a song for Jester on her playlist. And then Travis reveals (also out of game, like Liam) that Fjord has feelings for Jester (in a playlist heavily curated by known fjorester, Dani Carr). And even /that/ is treated with more weight by some fans than Beaus in canon confession. And Yasha is having all of these super convenient dreams where Zuala tells her its ok to move on, and Beau and Jester are barely speaking. And now Beau is calling Yasha her GIRLFRIEND? WHAT??? Did I miss 20 secret episodes that aired during hiatus or something???? Beau and Yasha have still, in 107 episodes, only had ONE meaningful conversation and yet their relationship is being treated as deep and inevitable. Sure, you can read into their other interactions if you want. But as a queer person, I am sick to death of my love needing to be represented as subtext.

And so it has become pretty clear that the cast has decided out of game to go in a different direction. And of course they are well within their right to do that. But I just can’t help feeling incredibly disheartened, and again, more than a little bit gas-lighted. It really does seem as if Beaus’ feelings for Jester have just been scrubbed from canon - as if they never even happened. All, seemingly, to make way for a typical happy-girl-sad-guy relationship with either Fjord or Caleb, and a typical pair-the-spares barely-any-depth relationship between the two out lesbians because its easy.

For the entirety of campaign 2, BeauJester has been treated as one thing - inconvenient. Inconvenient by the fans, who prefer other ships and have treated BeauJesters terribly, and now it seems, inconvenient by the cast, who have seemingly discarded it and scrubbed it from canon.

And one thing that really upsets me is the amount of genuine viciousness and vitriol coming from (some) BeauYasha shippers. I really wish BeauYasha was something I could get on board with, I do. And a lot of people who are sending me hate seem to assume I don’t want them to end up together. But I would be fine with that. But as it stands, they’ve literally only had one real conversation in 107 episodes, and they’re calling each other girlfriend? While literally having not spoken about anything like that? While one of those characters is supposed to have canon romantic feelings for another woman? Imagine that situation with any other characters and it would be comical.

I swear, the queer ladies in this fandom have been done dirty. All of us. Imagine if, in campaign one, Grog and Keyleth, in episode 107, started calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend in the middle of a battle. (I picked those two because they probably had the fewest moments together of any VM pairing). That’s pretty much what happened here, and we’re supposed to like it - be grateful, even - because it’s wlw rep? And I swear, the number of times I’ve been called lesbophobic in the last month is absurd - all because I’m not comfortable with a canon lesbians canon feelings being swept under the rug. All because I want wlw relationships to be allowed to have the same depth and growth as the straight ones. Yes, even if that relationship is B/Y. We should not settle for less. Imagine if they had done this with any other character’s canon feelings for another. People would be angry.

And I know there are going to be a lot of people saying “It’s their game, they can do what they like”.

True. I never said otherwise. But it is also a show. It is a product. They sell merch. It is something that they have taken the time and the steps to make sure that we care about. And this is what that looks like.

I know what happened here isn’t technically queerbaiting, but damn if it doesn’t cut the same.

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boba-t-butch · 7 years ago

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ive let more people i know irl follow me here so i try not to get into too much detail about my family situation. and ive recently realized a big part of that was conditioning from my parents where they trained me not to tell people abt stuff at home but that's probably to protect themselves from looking like the shit parents they are.

so anyway ima just write this out and i guess i'll delete later if i feel too exposed but its irritating to keep vagueposting or holding myself back on my own blog. also if you know me irl idc if u wanna talk to me abt this id be fine with it. but like dont treat me with delicacy or pity cuz i fukn hate that.

so my dad has bipolar disorder and he's been arrested/ hospitalized for it multiple times throughout my life because he doesnt like staying medicated. he was off his meds for a while and became unemployed almost as a direct result. when i went home over winter break, i recognized that he was becoming more emotionally volatile and was nearing a manic episode.

i understand how medication for bipolar disorder can negatively impact a person's quality of life and i recognize that my dad has the autonomy to choose whether or not to be medicated. but i also feel that when he is unmedicated, he cannot fulfill his responsibilities to me (and my 14 year old sister) as a father. and now that i'm an adult, i also have the autonomy to choose the relationships i maintain in my life. so i decided, even while i was home over winter break, to stop speaking to my dad if he was going to be off his medication.

the subsequent semester, i did not keep in contact with my family and managed to find a way to stay at my college campus over the summer so i wouldn't need to go home. my older sister is an ex-military republican redneck married to a white trump supporter, my little sister is p chill but she used to pass on any info of my life she could find to my parents, and my mom is an extremely emotionally manipulative/abusive alien conspiracy theorist bible thumper. so i just kinda don't keep in touch with any of them if i can help it.

this summer, my dad went manic and intentionally smashed his pickup truck into another car that had people in it. he put his car in reverse and smashed into them again twice. he'd gotten into an argument with my sister and wanted to show her what she made him do by not listening to him/ disrespecting him.

he was arrested for criminal mischief, criminal assault, and assault with a deadly weapon. at this point, i reached out to my other family members to express support and concern. this kind of thing has happened before, we all saw it coming, we all know if he doesn't take meds it's just a matter of time before it happens again.

i encouraged my mom to divorce my dad and take a portion of his assets (bc she has no education and no source of income) so that she can take my little sister somewhere safe and raise her in a stable environment. i told my older sister she doesnt owe it to him to do him any favors when he's knowingly disrupted her life so much. she currently has a newborn child at home with health complications to worry about as well, so it's not her responsibility to clean up his mess, even if he is mentally ill.

instead, my sister convinced a judge to drop all of my dads charges, send him home to my mom and sister, and his main consequence is just that he's court-mandated to take his medication for a few years (i have no clue how). my mom says she owes him too much so she's staying with him and even leaves him home alone extensively with my younger sister. he has continued to take everything my older sister and mom do for him for granted, even continuing to accuse them for making him go manic by not understanding him enough.

i have continued to refuse contact with my dad, though i'm trying to be there for my little sister more. my older sister and i are trying to navigate how to have a relationship as well. my mom though... my mom is now trying to use me as an emotional crutch because i express sympathy for her bc i know she's in a tough situation. but i also feel like she's neglecting her duty as a mother by not protecting my sister more and that she shouldn't be coming to me for this support when she's been a terrible mother to me. lately she sought reassurance from me because she was feeling worthless and depressed and i havent responded at all, which makes me feel cruel and guilty. but i also refuse to play that role for her.

there's a lot of other random shit happening in my life rn too but honestly im too tired to deal with any of it. im too tired to try to navigate complex interpersonal relationships that hardly matter when im already trying so hard to figure out my family situation.

#long post #oversharing time #bipolar tw #mania tw #assault tw #personal

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firebirdsdaughter · 7 years ago

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Still watch Chou Super Hero Taisen RAW...

... And, unfortunately, still haven’t become fluent in Japanese.

(spoilers? ish? gonna do a read more since this gonna be super long...)

(AND I DO MEAN LONG)

Still not sure where the real world is.

Okay, it feels kinda like they just remembered the Kyurangers existed.

Come to think of it, whatever happened to the other Kyus? Where are Lucky, Garu, and Hammy? Where’s the Aibous (even though I don’t think they’d become Aibous yet when this came out)? Much as I love Balance and Naga... I’d love to see the others, too.

Wait... Is this Hiiro’s house?

Did Amu follow him? I still don’t get why she’s here... Though I’m glad she’s taking care of the Hiiro-wrangling (because this is before the majority of his development, I think... Though I’m pretty sure it was after he discovered he’d accidentally started caring about Emu).

Okay, why don’t I just admit I don’t remember where either of these shows were when this film came out?

Come to think of it... Did Hiiro see a kid get sucked into a game and nots ay anything? It’d probably be less confusing if I knew what was being said.

Also, Tokusatsu suit actors are all bloody gifts to this world and should be cherished. Their physical and silent acting is positively charming and magnificent.

Oh, god, he did the surgeon hand thing. That means shit’s about to go down. Not sure if he said one of his catchphrases, but the hand thing is the equivalent of the hat turning around for Hiiro.

In other news, Seto is so pretty. Just getting that out of the way. No one wants to hear me gush about it, probably.

On a technical level, I’m super curious how they filmed this scene. I mean, it’s Seto talking to himself, and then fighting himself. You can do camera angles for the conversation, but it’s pretty cool they made it look like he was getting kicked through a wall by his doppelgänger.

Also, I detect an error. Taddle Legacy is higher than Lvl 50. Alternate Hiiro, you lie!

Though, no way around it, I still love Brave’s henshin jingles. All of them.

It was the real Utcchy! Wait, it was? Then why was he in the game thing before? Was Candelira/Torin’s ghost just like ‘whoops, shit’s happening in this game! Utcchy! Handle it!’ and dropped him in?

Oh, whatevs. He’s still a good little muffin.

Announcer does unnecessary but still wonderful ‘A-MA-ZON’ style proclamation for Amazons Amazon. And this after we saw original Amazon. Except he wasn’t actually... Oh, forget it.

Actually, what happened to the rest of the GoRiders? Did I miss it? Since Jin’s very dead, that wasn’t actually them anyway, I guess. Maybe. I DON’T KNOW.

SO MANY AMAZON.

Slightly disappointed by the loss of the scarf. I liked Amazon’s scarf.

Emu shows off his need to say ‘Dai Henshin’ with multiple ‘Dai’s whenever he Henshins these days.

So... The kid is the villain?

HOW DARE HE HURT TWO OF THE WORLD’S MOST PRECIOUS CINNAMON BUNS!

I found the other Zyuohgers! Though... I’m pretty sure their lines are prerecorded. Oh well, nice to know they came.

STOP HURTING NAGA YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE BOY!

Okay, this faux, alternate Amazons gang up on Emu has gone on far enough.

Also, I love Emu, he’s a precious baby, too. Especially in that form. And, of course, why wouldn’t he stop the battle to explain to the Amazons how a game worked! (I think that was what happened? They certainly all paused)

I feel like Hiiro is saying friendship words, but I can’t understand him, so I don’t know.

WHO IS THE RED HAM MAN?

Oh... Hi... Drive-Spectre? WTH? And... Is that Necrom? No, it’s not Necrom. He hasn't got a hood, but... Yeah, I have no clue who y’all are.

YOU MONSTER CHILD HOW DARE YOU MAKE NAGA CRY! BALANCE COME KILL HIM RN!

NOTE: I do not condone killing children in any way. Please do not quote me on my emotional outbursts.

CTTOI... What is Balance doing?

And... The Hiiros are still throwing each other through walls... At least the originals seems to be winning...

Think he’s saying friendship or something cool again, but I don’t know. Actually, knowing Hiiro, it’s probably meant to be cool, but is actually dorky.

Hiiro’s like ‘yup, just killed myself. That was awkward.’

Naga is now saying friendship words! But... clue what they actually are.

Wow, Emu! You beat all three of those fake alternate Riders I couldn’t identify! I’m so proud!

Wait... Why are the other Zyuohger just showing up now? Like, if Yamato saw or Sela heard Amu being taken to a hospital, wouldn't they come running? And if not, shouldn’t they have been looking for her?

Ah, drama on roof tops at night. That’s all I got, folks. No idea what’s being said, though I did hear ‘intern’ in there, so I guess Hiiro’s being Hiiro? Meaning uninformative, aloof, introverted, and incapable of normal social interaction without offending others.

Oh! Wow, he punched Emu, that’s new! I guess fighting an alternate version of yourself to the death makes you a little emotionally volatile?

Alternate thought is that he’s doing it to force even heartless monster boy that made Naga cry to see that people care about what happens to him? ‘Cause I can see Hiiro identifying with that view because he’s a big self-loathing little baby. If that made any sense.

Or maybe he knows something they don’t? He and his doppelgänger were talking and fighting, so the alternate may have said something. Then again, I have no clue what anyone is saying.

Good to know Hiiro is still super parkour surgeon!

It was really whacky when he broke that out all of a sudden. It was like, whoa, okay! Hiiro just ran up a wall! Out of suit!

Also, I think Hiiro just made a Vulcan call--lives of the many.

Mr RED HAM is upset and taking it out on Utcchy. Someone please kill him. I don’t even know who he is or what he’s doing here, but he’s hurting my children so shoot him!

Holy fuck, are those... Are pincers coming out of his eyes? WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?

No, seriously, what happened to the other Kyurangers?

Nice line up, kids. Good to know we can all put our differences aside to form a Sentai line when necessary.

IT WASN’T THE REAL UTCCHY?

What happened to the Kyurangers, AGAIN? (Oh! There’s Balance!) But this is more like a Zyuohger/Ex-Aid crossover...

Welcome to Taisen, pause the music while everyone takes a brief glance at each other’s Henshins!

Poor Parad. I almost for got he was here. Taiga too, honestly. Sorry guys!

We have Kurous, but no ToQgers...

FURY!

Hey, there’s the rest of the GoRiders! I’d watch a whole series with those five, they’re a good mix.

SUDDENLY JARK MATTER.

Another reason Toku suit actors aren’t paid enough; those falling in shots.

RIP everyone.

OH, THERE THEY ARE! What, could they not get the actors for more than the opening?

I’m assuming that’s what happened w/ Kiriya, since I know for a fact Hayato is working on other things as well.

GIANT SUPER SPRINGY EX-AID MAX ROBOT HEAD THING!

Finally some other folks!

Did ToQ Ichigo just hit his hand w/ his sword?

Glad too see you again, Marv! Even if it is just a fake alternate version and you have no lines. Same goes for you, Decade. And Diend, from earlier.

MISAO! Baby, I wish you coulda been in more of this!

Brave, WTF is that Gashat? That’s... I don’t even... Take it off. NOW.

Ex-Aid baseball?

God, the fireball and his eye on it!

RIP Red large ham man whose name I’m not sure we ever learned.

Where’d the rest of the Zyuoghers go all of a sudden?

Dramatic lineup!

So... How do Hiiro and this kid know each other, exactly?

They seem to have a sort of ‘we’re isolated geniuses who have trouble interacting with others and believe no one cares about us/we don’t deserve to be cared for’ bond going...

Now, we all talk to an evil demon child through a game screen!

I can see why a small, very intelligent, super introverted and social-awayness lacking child would look up to Hiiro enough to have him as a sort of ‘guardian entity’ being a game/world he made... Then again, I am none of those things.

Oh! Lucky’s back! And... Hiiro is confused by him.

I feel like we’ve mentioned Saki, like, twice in this film and I’m not sure why.

Now they’re still alive? WTH? I find it real interesting that the people the kid choose to put into this game thing were Utcchy and Hiiro. Those two are pretty different, if you ask me. And how does he even know Utcchy?

Aw, Naga awkward smile is back!

Awwwwwwww, it’s a socially awkward trio shot! (meaning Hiiro, Naga, and little evil demon boy)

Hiiro just looked at Lucky like ‘why are you touching me?'

Actually, now that I think about it, if I go w/ my theory that the boy did this/started this because he was a lonely, socially inept genius kid, I can see why he’d go with Utcchy. God knows that man is socially inept. Still don’t get how they knew each other. If anyone actually read to the end of this, have an imaginary cookie!

#Kamen Rider Ex-Aid #Uchuu Sentai Kyuranger #Chou Super Hero Taisen #Naga must be protected at all costs #Poppy too #REALLY LONG POST #RAW #DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO READ ALL OF THIS #SUPER LONG POST

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lou-bonfightme · 7 years ago

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Toulouse Henri Bonfamille - Character Sheet

if you get sleep or if you get none / the cock's gonna call in the morning, baby / check the cupboard for your daddy's gun / red sun rises like an early warning / the lord's gonna come for your first born son / his hair's on fire and his heart is burning / so go to the river where the water runs / wash him deep where the tides are turning...

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — May 10, 1995 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — 3, the Achiever Temperament — Choleric Hogwarts House — Slytherdor Moral Alignment — True Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Adelaide Bonfamille (nee LaBlanc) (Portia de Rossi FC) Father — Hector Bonfamille (Tony Goldwyn) Mother’s Occupation — socialite Father’s Occupation — politician Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — oldest child Brothers — Berlioz Bonfamille (Matt Hitt FC, 20, Birthday: June 20, 1997) Sisters — Marie Bonfamille (Olivia Holt FC, 17, Birthday: April 22, 2000) Other Close Family — Maternal Aunt: Duchess LaBlanc Best Friend — Hades Other Friends — Sophie, Daisy Enemies — Roger, Perdita, literally so many people tbh Pets — A cat that is not his. Also his plants. Home Life During Childhood — emotionally manipulative/abusive; argumentative with father; parental disagreements; was put in charge of younger siblings Town or City Name(s) — Paris, France Details of Town(s) or City(s) — loved the river and parks, only place he had refuge What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — rather plain, big windows, bright, painted a cream color, not a lot of toys but an easel and paints in one corner, a large desk with art supplies. Any Sports or Clubs — nope, he focused solely on his art. Favorite Toy or Game — didn’t really play a lot of games, but he liked building legos with his siblings, or reading to them. Schooling — did excellently in school Favorite Subject — science (especially biology), though he has a fondness for literature as well. Popular or Loner — loner, but girls liked him alot; he had the broody bad boy thing going on, which annoyed him immensely. Important Experiences or Events — moving to Swynlake Health Problems — undiagnosed manic depressive; some minor PTSD and agoraphobia Culture — french, and proud of it. Religion and beliefs — raised catholic, attending church mainly to keep up appearances, he finds parts of religion very beautiful, but also calls bullshit on most of it; he’s too logical and scientific to really find any sort of comfort in it; respects those who are religious though; has a predisposed inclination to dislike muslims based on rhetoric and a lack of proper understanding about the religion.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Freddy Carter Complexion — pale and freckly! Hair Colour — Russet Eye Colour — Green Height — 6′0 Build — slight and tall Tattoos — none and never will Piercings — none Common Hairstyle — perfectly styled 90% of the time, if you catch him without his hair styled he really likes you. Clothing Style — the Most fashionable, very flamboyant, lots of colour Mannerisms — tucks his hands behind his back when he’s nervous or being respectful, if he’s embarrassed his ears turn red Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — not since he’s become a werewolf, but he never really got sick Physical Ailments — none Neurological Conditions — bipolar II Allergies — none Grooming Habits — grooms better than some of my girls lmao. takes very good care of himself--when he’s not in a depressive state, then he has more trouble, but if he’s going out he’ll still go through the motions. Sleeping Habits — terrible sleeper. has really bad insomnia. is up late a lot, sleeps in late a lot. wakes up a lot throughout the night. tosses and turns. has trouble falling asleep. Eating Habits — super picky eater. when depressive/manic sometimes doesn’t eat that much Exercise Habits — lmao what exercise Emotional Stability — off his meds? like a 2/10, on his meds he’s closer to a 6/10 probably. Body Temperature — normal Sociability — very charming, knows what to say to get people to like him. that doesn’t always mean he says those things lol Addictions — none really? Drug Use — smokes pot, doesn’t do other drugs thank god that’d be so bad Alcohol Use — drinks more than he should

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — what habits are not bad habits? Thinking he is right about everything, pointing out people’s flaws, getting in fights, generally believing he knows better than everyone else, not feeling out his emotions, withdrawing when things get tough, not speaking to anyone about things that suck in his life, taking on all challenges alone, i could go on... Good Habits — he’s a good brother, he takes care of his siblings, he takes care of himself, for the most part; he’s an excellent studier; he’s very loyal once you win his loyalty Best Characteristic — his unfaltering loyalty Worst Characteristic — his lack of ability to properly communicate his emotions Worst Memory — all the times he had to hide in the closet, or his father sent him to bed with no dinner and kept him there for hours Best Memory — his siblings being born Proud of — his siblings, his art (sometimes) Embarrassed by — not much, honestly. When people catch him having a proper emotion Driving Style — doesn’t drive but he’d be a total soccer mom Strong Points — his loyalty. It’s unwavering and uncompromising Temperament — volatile Attitude — melancholic. Weakness — not being emotionally vulnerable. Seriously, it would solve so many of his issues Fears — not being good enough, being unlovable, worried that he will always be horribly bitter Phobias — pfft nothING (jk he’s lowkey afraid of storms) Secrets — lmao so many where to start? Mostly that he actually does crave affection Regrets — lol everything; probably the biggest is being so hard on ber during their teen years Feels Vulnerable When — he’s having emotion Pet Peeves — god where do i start? People who dont say what’s on their mind Motivation — protecting his siblings is his main motivation Short Term Goals and Hopes — he doens’t really have any im realizing this rn Long Term Goals and Hopes — also does not have many here Sexuality — grey asexual, biromantic (he could be either rly) Exercise Routine — pfft exercise is for the weak Day or Night Person — night owl Introvert or Extrovert — introverted extrovert lou really does thrive in a crowd but needs a lot of recharge time after Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist highkey

Likes and Styles:

Music — Classics. Classical. Stuff with not a lot of lyrics. Though, he’s also fond of the Opera. He really likes Faust and Don Giovanni. Also, he secretly likes a couple of musicals--Les Miserables and Cats are probably his favourites, though he very rarely indulges in them. Books — Candide by Voltaire is his favourite novel, he’s read it several times. He is a fan of the gothic period, he enjoys books like The Phantom of the Opera. Is not a huge Victor Hugo fan because he finds him a bit wordy, but he does like Hunchback of Notre Dame. He prefers concise language in his novels, but also likes beautiful imagery. He’s an avid reader. Magazines — He reads National Geographic and TBH probably gets a copy of Vogue, as well as a few museum magazines, just to keep up with the art scene. Foods — Lou is not a very big sweets person, he prefers richer foods. His favorite is frozen grapes--red or green, that doesn’t really matter. He’s almost always snacking on grapes. Drinks — Lou loves champagne. He also is an avid drinker of water. Animals — Lou loves birds, they’re his favorite. He’s also a fan of reptiles. And he has a particular interest in dinosaurs. Sports — Lol. Social Issues — Lou takes a bit of a middle road on these issues. There are things that he is rather passionate about--such as LGBTQIA rights (this is a recent development), but he also has some rather...unethical opinions about things like immigration that he usually keeps to himself because he knows that they are contentious subject. Favorite Saying — “Chacun voit midi à sa porte” Translation: Everyone sees noon on his doorstep. Basically, everyone views the world the way that they view it. Color — Ah, he cannot choose--but he does gravitate to warmer, earth colors in his paintings, oranges and reds and browns. Clothing — Lou is extremely fashionable and he always is dressed impeccably. He loves color and very rarely wears dull ones. Jewelry — Not a huge fan of jewlery, I’m sure he has a nice watch though, that his father gave him. Games — Chess. Puzzles. Things that challenge the mind. Websites — Eh, he’s got a tumblr blog, and he’s #instafamous so. TV Shows — Lou doesn’t watch television enough to have favorite shows but he detests reality shows and probably watches them with his brother to make fun of people. Movies — Lou doesn’t watch movies often, but he loves good cinematography. Also, documentaries. Especially nature and historical ones. (Also loves Legally Blonde on the lowkey.) Greatest Want — To be needed. Greatest Need — To learn to embrace his emotions.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — lives at his mother’s home in Swynlake Household furnishings — very modern, aligned with the latest Parisian fashion. Favorite Possession — his art studio, does that count?? Most Cherished Possession — the drawer of arts and crafts that lou kept from his siblings when they were little. Neighborhood — the woods, very posh Town or City Name — Swynlake Details of Town or City — small magic friendly Married Before — to Anita Dearly, long story. Significant Other Before — none. Children — none. Relationship with Family — close with his siblings, though closer with Marie than Berlioz, a bit of a momma’s boy, and has a cordial relationship with his father, is very close with his life-long nanny, Nounou. Car — none. Career — will probably be an artist; should be a surgeon. Dream Career — surgeon he just doesn’t know it yet Dream Life — a successful magical animal treatment center, where he can also practice his art on the side; very little chance of having a family but deep down would love a wife/husband and children, maybe he’ll adopt. (he does not know any of this.) Love Life — a hot mess; tries not to develop feelings for people. Talents or Skills — painting, obviously Intelligence Level — he’s very intelligent and observant Finances — wealthy af

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — he’s been a student. Past Lovers — many; mostly one night stands, very few repeats Biggest Mistakes — being so hard on ber in secondary; marrying anita. Biggest Achievements — uhmmmmm his art has hung in several galleries

#character sheet #about #this was p much finished and since #everyone is POSting them #viola

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