#i’m also working on getting my lil diary blog up and running so we can hang out over there too soon <3333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mer-se]

(Part 1) Hey! I love your photos and blog so much that I’m anonymously embarrassing myself here. Thing is do you have any tips when starting out? Having my work be seen etc. I don’t have a big platform. When did you start your photography work? Hey I know that I’m on anon so that is a contraction but my page and work is far from ready but I’ll messge you off anon when it is..

I appreciate that so much thank you. I’m not sure I started taking pictures in like early middle school days, maybe even earlier. My dad took a lot of film photos when he was younger and did all that dark room stuff, he has boxes of pictures and I think it’s cute that I can see similar styles in his photos and mine. I think it’s always just been in me. I was the friend taking pictures of everyone at every after/school event (I have some veryyyyy old photo albums it’s cool to look back on because I’m like damn I was the same person back then haha) I had (and broke) several digital cameras as a kid/preteen) but I didn’t get my first dslr until I think 2007?

I had my first film camera gifted to me during this time, too. Which is a whole other love. I immediately started advertising myself on Craigslist (idk how I’m alive) and did a few jewelry/portrait/wedding/engagements shoots as a teen and that was pretty cool and huge for my age and experience level looking back. I’m like damn, I did pretty well for myself as a dumb 17/18 yr old. I’m trying to work my way back into that now actually, slowly this time though. Bless all those people who gave me a shot and believed in lil ol me then. Lots of cool memories from that time period but it’s wild to me that I did that.

Anyway. I’m not sure on tips aside from ones that are personal to me because I don’t know what kind of photography you’re into? One of mine is like don’t take ten pictures of the same thing because it’ll make you have a mental breakdown when all of them are good but subtly different and you can’t pick one - but that’s me - I also have ocd and that helps nothing. When starting out that’s probably a good idea though to learn angles and lighting. Take pictures of everything. Learn your own personal style, everyone’s is different even if it’s similar, we all see different things. Learn your camera, learn about lighting and how to edit eventually. If you want to shoot people there’s a huge social aspect so you can work on that. There’s things I don’t even know after 100 years because the technical side doesn’t rly do it for me, I just run on intuition and vibes. We’re all always learning still. Its ok! I don’t have a large platform either especially on here, half my followers are deactivated - it’s dying out on here and I also won’t be on here eventually all together. But if you’re talking about notes/likes I’d suggest tagging your pictures! I find it kinda embarrassing but it’s necessary if that’s what you’re after.

That’s something I actually struggle with because I don’t worry about that stuff much, especially on here. I’ve never cared about that sort of validation, tumblr and instagram even facebook have always been just a photo diary to me - everything’s a diary haha. Even if it seems I overshare I’m really actually not? I’m super private and things make me uncomfortable. (I don’t share my writing either..) Notes are never why I post or even take photos it’s all very personal to me, there’s a deep private love there for me that I can’t put into words but! It’s ok to care and when you want to switch over to working with the public and getting back/into freelance photography (which I do, and maybe you will too someday) advertising is absolutely important, it’s hard for someone like me that finds it extremely cringe to self promote/overly tag everything because that’s never been my vibe or why I do it but I’m slowly working on it because I have to - it’s sort of a large mental obstacle for me. But don’t worry about that right now. Don’t get caught up on things like that honestly, it doesn’t mean anything. If people see and appreciate your pictures that’s lovely but there’s tons of reasons why you may not get notes that mean nothing to the quality of your pics. I see posts circulate with 10000 notes of a blurry eyeball and see an incredible picture of something with 5 notes. On tumblr notes mean nothing, don’t let it influence anything. You’re just starting out and your work is for you right now, and in my opinion it always should be in a way. Give it time. I post way more on my Instagram than here and my account is private, like I said I’m working on that aspect myself still haha. I am working on a different account though and slowly a website! So yes keep at it, and yes tag away, can even pin your posts even if it feels embarrassing - not everyone sees it that way, promise.

Don’t stress just do your thing. Find other photographers on here. But I wouldn’t really worry about tumblr too much, there’s other and better sites to get your work seen.

[inkykeiji]

i miss u :((

i miss you too sweetpea!!! i’m sorry!! :( i’m trying my best to be as active and present here as possible while also writing & doing irl stuff!! :c come talk to me tho!!! about anything!! <33

[youknowmymethods]

Content Creator Interview #2

In this week’s interview, fandom friends @lilsherlockian1975 and @mrsmcrieff talk about whether they found Sherlock hot or not at first sight, how publicly sharing their work changed their writing, and the hardest thing about writing smutfic (pun fully intended).

And for those who don’t know, today is Lillian’s Birthday, so m’dear, Many Happy Returns!!!!

Hey, so Lilsherlockian1975 and myself, MrsMCrieff, have decided to interview each other for Aine’s challenge. We’re going to try to answer each other’s questions but there is always the danger of us going massively off piste. Our conversations in the past have been eclectic and very wide-ranging not to mention M rated.

 Anyway, I thought we could start by saying how we came into the fandom and more than that writing in the fandom. Lil, do you want to start?

Lil: All right, my sister on another continent, here’s how it went: As I’ve explained about finding The Full House on Pinterest, let’s explore what came before that moment, then just after... I was working third shift at a hotel (I had to as Mr Lil and I didn’t really have any childcare options at the time, so we just worked opposite shifts). The hotel was in a very small town - we were never busy, some nights we sold maybe 2 rooms - I usually spent my time watching Netflix. After making my way through Doctor Who, Star Trek Next Gen, Voyager then (God help me) DS9, Farscape and Firefly, I’d finally run out of anything to watch. You’d be surprised how quickly you can burn through a series binge watching for 8 hours at a time (and getting paid for it!).

 Then… then I found Sherlock. Well, that changed things… a bit.

 “Good Lord, who is the Cumberstud chap and why won’t he have all the sex with me!?” was my first thought, my second was, “Maybe I have a chance with the dishy DI?” and third? “Oh… what fresh hell is this ‘Mycroft’? Yummy!” Then finally, “Ahh, did the casting director somehow read my diary? Creepy but… all right.” To my defense, it was late and I usually worked on very little sleep. Also, I’m a kinky bitch.

 I’d never been involved in a ‘fandom proper’, I suppose. That’s not to say that I wasn’t a fangirl. I am and always have been. I was hugely into the Kevin Smith movies, going as far as visiting the Quick Stop and RST Video in Lenardo, NJ, respectively, as well as The Secret Stash, in Red Bank. I was a comic book geek in my youth, Marvel mostly, but some DC as well.

 After reading The Full House, I desperately needed MORE Sherlock and luckily enough, there was more to be found.

 At first I was just reading, then I wrote and posted a couple of (horrible) fics and met this fellow writer named MrsMCrieff (I might have had a little ‘writing crush’ on you, Mrs!). We chatted on FF.net and struck up a friendship.

 So, for me, writing came before fandom. Mrs was doing some betaing for me, but I didn’t ask for help often; I hated bothering her all the time for the multitude of stories I was turning out. At some point around here, I got an elusive invite to AO3 from sherlockian87, bless her soul, because I kept trying to join and couldn’t get a blessed invitation. Also around this time, I had written a prompt and got a PM from MizJoely asking if she could fix some of my mistakes (she was very sweet about it, even though I totally flipped - half fangirling, half losing my shit because ‘Crap, I screwed up so bad, here was The MizJoely asking if she could edit out my mistakes!’) but she wasn’t being critical at all, of course, just helpful as I soon found out. Shortly after, now having formed a friendship with MIz, she suggested that I start a Tumblr blog. And that’s how it all started.

Yes, sorry… I, um, tend to be a tad loquacious. Writing out my answers doesn’t help one little bit.

 Okay, Mrs, right back atcha!

 Mrs: OK, shall I try to be more concise? I’ll probably fail as I’m terrible as writing short fics they always seem to end up spread over multiple chapters.

 I’m another one who had always been a fangirl, Doctor Who, Buffy, Twilight, vampire Diaries (yeah, I love my vampires) but I’d also been a Sherlock Holmes fan. I’d read all the books in my teens, watched the Basil Rathbone and Jeremy Brett adaptations and even stayed at the Sherlock Holmes hotel on Baker St so when a new series was advertised it was an easy sale.

 I was late to the cumberobsession though. I have to admit watching the first two series as they came out and I remember thinking I like them but it’s a shame Sherlock isn’t that hot. I know, I know, I’m embarrassed even as I write that.

 It all changed after watching season 3 and I blame the Sherlolly kiss 100%. I watched the series, DELETED the records!! And then realised I was spending a lot of time thinking about Sherlock and Benedict...that turned into looking him up online and from there it was a short step to reading Sherlolly fics on fanfic (I was already reading fics for other shipping obsessions). Anyway, it didn’t take long before Sherlolly took over all my other ships and Benedict was my number one hottie.

 As for writing, I hadn’t written anything fiction based since school and school was a long time ago...almost thirty years. But one day I was looking for a specific fic, I wanted to read about Sherlock and Molly having to share body heat and I just couldn’t find anything that satisfied me. I’m not sure why but in that moment I decided to write it myself and in half an hour I’d written Frozen...my first ever fic. It took another couple of hours to pluck up the courage to post it and I clearly remember feeling a bit sick and my hand shaking as I pressed the final button to post.

 Thankfully, I almost immediately started to receive positive reviews and feedback and it wasn’t long before I started to write more...the rest as they say is history. Lil got in touch soon after and it was fun chatting to another writer just starting out. We soon found we were not dissimilar in age and both had two sons and the friendship started there.

 We’ve been through quite a lot over the last few years Lil and written some fab stories. Wouldn’t you agree?

 (I should let on that we are now faffing about trying to find the original list of questions...we are trying to be professional).

 Ok Lil, so I’ve looked at Aine’s questions and they look really hard. Any preferences on which ones you want to answer :).

 Lil: I think a great follow up to that first one is this: How did posting your first story change your process of writing? So I’m shooting it back to you, Mrs, and you can send me that one or select a new one for me. Tag, you’re it!

 Mrs: I can tell you quite simply how it changed my process of writing...given that it was my first piece of writing in 30 years I was starting from scratch when it came to any process. One thing that I started with that’s held true for me ever since is that my stories are fully mapped out and written before I even start posting the first chapter. I will edit and make refinements but the bones of the story are there.

 I know lots of people post a chapter and then write the next chapter but that would put me under too much pressure. The downside is that if someone gives me a prompt they could be waiting months before they see it posted. The upside is if I’ve started posting a fic you will get the end of it as it’s already been written.

 There have only been two exceptions to this method: Sherlock Holmes, Vampire which I worked on over a year or so posting four chapters every so often as I wrote them...it was stressful. And the other is Never Have I Ever which was/is more of a collection of one shots woven together into a fic.

 How about you Lil? How did it change for you?

 Lil: So, I’d been writing little stories and whatnot for years and years but, having no idea that there was such a thing as ff.net or AO3, I had no place to put them. Writing was always a very, very distant dream of mine. I have loads of notebooks filled with stories, story ideas and my own personal ramblings (unfortunately, my Tumblr followers now have to read the ‘ramblings business’). I stopped for many years after my roommate/best friend since childhood found some of my writing in college that I’d carefully hidden under my bed. I came home to find her in my room, sat on the floor, on the phone with our Art History professor (whom she was sleeping with), as she read him my story and laughed hysterically at its awfulness.

 I was devastated and vowed never to write again.

 But that changed, of course. Those first maybe ten stories were just me letting my mind go and getting out what I wanted to say (aided by liberal amounts of wine). Since then, however, my ‘process’ has changed drastically. I don’t always write an outline (never for one shots, which I write often) but I generally do for long fics. If not, it’s easy for me to get lost and miss critical points. My writing has become more about ‘layering’ for lack of a better word.

 I found after those first few posted fics, that in going back and re-reading them I wanted to make changes. I didn’t re-edit them (because I’m lazy), but it made me realize that my writing required more time and proofing before posting; that first draft is just the start for me - a thin layer of primer paint on a canvas, if you will. I then read over it and add more details and more and more until I get the desired effect. Again, much like oil painting, I have to build things up, layer by layer. This works for me; I have no idea if it’s a proper method of writing. So, posting my first fic(s) helped me learn that I shouldn’t be so trigger happy about posting if the story wasn’t ready.

 Okay, Mrs, this one is geared specifically towards you. I don’t think anyone would argue with me about your supernatural ability to write ‘case fics’, so let me ask: Which do you prefer writing, case fics or fluffy smut-filled romps? And why?

 Mrs: Oh God, ask me something easy why don’t you. Both, I like writing both. I love the depth of a case fic, the idea, the research, plotting it out and working out the characters and detail but it’s so time consuming and I often write a bit, leave it, come back to it etc. etc. so a detailed case fic can take six months.

 Fluff on the other hand is less satisfying but quicker (my minds already in the gutter with an analogy).

 Woohoo I kept is fairly short for once. So, here’s one that’s good for you. I’m endlessly envious of how easily you make friends and how you know so many people in the fandom whereas I’m the introverted hermit. Which other authors are you friends with, and how have they help you become a better writer?

 Lil: Goodness! You make me sound like a social butterfly (Mr Lil calls me that all the time!). I like people, plain and simple. Other than you, I am close to MizJoely and Darnedchild, that’s no secret, so I’ll talk about them first (you included, because you’ve made me a better writer, I’m sure of it - have actual proof!)

 I cannot count the ways Miz has helped me improve my writing. She figuratively took me by the ear and said “okay, you don’t suck but do you even know what a comma is used for?” No, not those actual words, she was much kinder about it, but I got the hidden meaning and I needed it, trust me. She also challenges me and is not afraid to be honest with me when I’ve written something that isn’t good or perhaps doesn’t fit. I know I’ve improved since she started betaing for me, like a 1000%. And Child… When I volunteered to beta for the Big Bang Challenge, I had no idea what I was getting into, but man… she’d written and enormous fic. Good, amazing really, but it was longer than anything I’d ever worked on before. It scared the shit out of me but I really think it was exactly what I needed. Betaing someone else’s work can really make you see your own mistakes from a new perspective. I feel like I jumped ahead after working on the BBC with Child. As for you, MrsMCrieff, just the other day I had The Best compliment… someone actually thought I was British! Yes, that happened. I can only attribute that little feat to you, my friend. You’ve taught me when to add a ‘u’, when not to zed and about many different terms like pavement, taps, hob, loo, trousers (we really don’t say that here!). Not to mention the fact that most European men aren’t circumcised. Who knew?! It’s pretty common in the US.

 But that’s just a few. I cannot count the number of fandom friends who have helped me and all the ways that they’ve done so. That doesn’t mean I won’t try…

 There’s likingthistoomuch who always listens to my ideas and encouraged me to post my first Harry Potter fic. OhAine has been a true friend from the very beginning, always insightful and supportive. Mellovesall who is just too sweet for words and always helps with edits, no matter what’s going on in her life. Kendrapendragon who let me bounce ideas for my Mirror Has Two Faces AU off of her for like a whole day! the-sapphiresky who has helped me with this historical AU that may or may not ever see the light of day. Allthebellsinvenice who answered about a dozen questions (over two years!) for Dig Down Deep when I’d panic about some D/s situation I’d written myself into. o0katiekins0o who backs me up when I’m in the middle of a sensitive subject. I can always depend on her to help me when I’m afraid I’m crossing a line. Broomclosetkink, Lord help me! She’s pinch hit for me when I’ve written a fic for Miz or if I just need a good laugh. She’s the best. Sweets… it’s very hard to talk about sweet-sweet-escape. I still cannot even bring myself read her stories or the ones I wrote for her without breaking down, but no one was more supportive or kind to me than Sweets. I miss her so much.

 Then there’s all the love and support I received from everyone during The Fic That Shall Not Be Named debacle. That’s when I knew how much this fandom (well, this ship, really) had my back! I will never forget how much love and support I received. Bless you all!

 I’m forgetting people and I hate that. But I really do love all my fandom friends as if I see them and hang out with them every day. I mean that.

 Okay, Mrs, here’s one for you (I’m going back to the list for this one because I like it and I think it’s interesting): What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters of the opposite sex?

 Mrs: See, see I said you knew loads of people!

 As for your question that’s easy to answer...knowing what it feels like when they get aroused and orgasm. I’m more than happy being female but it would be kind of interesting just to be a guy for one day. It would improve my writing no end.

 On a wider note when it comes to writing characters I don’t think any of us made it easy on ourselves when we decided to try to write being a high functioning sociopathic genius. I think I can speak for most of us when I say he’s not the easiest person to try to write authentically. I just wish I had half his knowledge then I wouldn’t feel like such an idiot when I’m writing him.

 I gave my youngest son the option of any number between 1 and 40. He chose 7 so does writing energise or exhaust you?

 Lil: It absolutely energises me! I do get frustrated trying to find time to write, but actually writing does amazing things for my mental and physical self. I find that I’m much more productive around the house when I’m in the middle of a writing jag. I’ll sit and write for a while, then get up and pound out some chores (usually more quickly as to get back to my computer). Somehow, this works for me. Frankly, it’s probably got to do with my ADHD. I’m the kind of person who needs to do multiple things at once. I’m the same at work; I cannot just stand behind the registrar for 8 hours. I practically beg my managers for extra work, which they’re happy to give me.

 I have an original question for you, love: How does a bad review affect you?

 Mrs: I’ll be honest I don’t react well to a bad review but it does depend on whether I think it’s valid or not. You probably know each and every time I’ve had one because I will probably have sent you a screen shot and asked your opinion. Thankfully they have been few and far between, occasionally they have made me think...especially if I’m being accused of using a tired old trope and I’ve made the effort to up my game in future fics but often they are just being nasty for the sake of it.

 Writing is such a personal thing though, we give a piece of ourselves in each and every fic so it’s hard to not take criticism very personally.

 Same question to you Lil.

 Lil: Oh, I’m a giant baby about a bad review and have been known to take it very personally. At first I brood… like really hard, thinking on the entire thing much longer than necessary. I suppose it depends on the nature and tone, for the most part though. If it’s attacking and spiteful, I’ll attack right back but if it’s coming from a ‘goodish’ place, I do try to look at my writing a bit more objectively (I don’t always succeed). Anonymous bad reviews get to me the most. The fact that I cannot reply drives me up the wall!

 Okay, we’re wrapping this up (else we could go on forever!) Thanks so much and a big thanks to Aine for organizing this as well!

 Mrs & Lil

Next Week:

Posting on Friday 01 March it’s @ohaine ‘s turn (eek!) to interview @ashockinglackofsatin

[phipitology]

Journal log - Week 3

Early on when I was a freshman, I used to not have much keen on marketing. It’s not that it is not interesting. Rather, I used to think that my personality does not have what it takes to be a good marketer. While I know ‘good’ is an overarching term, but I used to have this mindset that a marketer should be compelling, persuasive, risk-taking- all-in-all an extrovert in a nutshell. However, the more I immerse myself in marketing studies, the more I learn that it is so much more than that. In fact, I feel that my low self-esteem, constant self-doubt and insecurities won’t do me any favor in any kind of social setting, let alone in a professional business that sooner or later we will all get to dwell into. This week, we learn about personal branding that gives me new perspective and embracing ourselves as a unique individual.

If anything, growing up with social media doesn’t stop me from having a love-and-hate relationship with it. In my adolescence I used to think that it was better for me to ‘live off the grid’ (of course, in a social media sense). I remembered how dreadful it was (- though sometime still is) to scroll Instagram, because it’s reminding me of how I have been missing out in life and it slowly draining my thoughts with comparison.

My idealistic plan after graduating high school was having a fresh start in uni and somehow manage to socialize with zero social media presence. I mean why not? I probably can name one or two people that is popular in real life that basically have no social updates in Facebook or Instagram. Okay, I might not be able to name my friends but Daniel Radcliff? Emma Stone? They are very popular without any kind of social media trace.

But now I’m realizing, they may not have a social media presence, but they already have a bigger presence in an even bigger media platform- so much that it probably makes them far off better without Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

But then who am I compares to them? I realized that maybe I can strive (a little) without social media, but I can’t really escape it, like Mr. Jeremy Lee said: make the media works for you instead.

Self-awareness is indeed a life-time journey and I can say for myself that adolescence is the phase that shape our personality (read: I didn’t change much since highschool).

I remember how my friends used to identify me as someone with ‘weird’ taste. By weird, they meant I’m having an ‘old-cemetery-like’ taste because I used to listen to The Cure in my old iPod touch (back then that my iPod was already considered ‘ancient’ and I’m still using it till now). It felt like I am a weird misfit character that falls somewhere in the middle of emo girl and low-tech grandma. Later in college where I can pick my own everyday outfit, I become more confident to wear unique clothes with daring colors. At times my girlfriends would pick up stuffs while we are at the mall and said “this is so YOU”, and somehow it makes me happy that my friend actually understands my taste. These labels seem to stuck with me until today.

Even though it is not ‘wise’ to create a personal branding basing on other people’s opinion, but somehow, I’m rolling with it. I see it in this way: I can acknowledge who I am and what I am through my friends because they are kindly enough to be a mirror so I can look and understand myself better.

With this blog (phipitology) I wanted to make a new brand of myself that values being grounded, raising climate change awareness, efforts on composting, recycling, minimalism, and everything in between. The blog is my personal diary to keep track on my efforts and I also run its Instagram account serving as an album. I know the title might sound silly, but it is a mix of my nickname phipitomus (again this nickname was given from my friend in elementary and I’m still sticking with it) and ecology = phipitology. Furthermore, I still want to appear quirky with the popping color blocks in the header, but keeping things ‘natural’ with green and yellow as the main colors.

At first, I was dreaming that maybe someday I can be an ‘influencer’ for the values that I held in and raising awareness in the community. However, I am aware that I have not given the dedication and consistency that it needed, and now I’m not sure whether I’m still going towards the goal.

But as time goes, I’m also aware that I should have just doing this for fun, even though this year is far away from being fun. What is important for me now is I’m still doing the effort that I want: baby steps towards eco-friendly living. After all, brand is constantly developing and evolves.

Who knows maybe in a couple of years I’ll have more time and energy to pull the effort to expand phipitology as my personal branding.

Me as a quirky lil girl:

[reitziluz]

get to know me meme!

..... a mutual did this and said people feeling up for it should do it so....

i’m not tagging anyone but feel free to do these

1. What is your full name? Rene

2. What is your nickname? Rellu, Rensku

3. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo

4. What is your favorite book series? uhhh ASOIAF maybe

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? i like the idea of residual energy... and ofc there’s other lifeforms floating in the endless space

6. Who is your favorite author? ME MYSELF i’m honestly not sure, there’s no-one whose all works like to the same degree 

7. What is your favorite radio station? ... rock/heavy metal station

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? mmm choco? or like this salsa/cheese combo. also cola.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? excellent, gorgeous, fucking perfect

10. What is your current favorite song? this one

11. What is your favorite word?  i don’t... have one. maybe しまう?

12. What was the last song you listened to? this one

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?  in the flesh, mushishi

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?  i don’t like movies that much? ... one piece movies

15. Do you play video games? yes occasionally

16. What is your biggest fear? death, heights

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion?  insight/confidence combo?

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? arrogance... small-mindedness, as in not being able to throw myself as deep into stuff as i feel like i should....

19. Do you like cats or dogs better?  cats

20. What is your favorite season? winter or late fall

21. Are you in a relationship? mmmm when aren’t you in relationships?? but yea i’m in several relationships as this question seems to be angling for...

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? structure and relatively low pressure

23. Who is your best friend? poronen and also revy my dearie. there’s a couple more conventional/old past besties too that i still hold close to my heart.

24. What is your eye color? dark-ish gray-green-blue

25. What is your hair color? dirty blonde, dyed red

26. Who is someone you love? my friends my family my datemates... myself...

27. Who is someone you trust? i trust p much everyone until proven wrong

28. Who is someone you think about often? bisexualwinry and poronen again lmao, also... uhhh whichever characters i’m obsessed most recently

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? next installations of friends’ fics, my own fic chapter lmao, a homewarming party of an ex i’m friends with...

30. What is your biggest obsession? currently a couple vocaloid producers and mp100. long term.... ffvii and vampires.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? pokemon and moomins

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? fuck your idea of there being an opposite!! i don’t have an opposite!! i can tell my dearest friends anything, regardless of gender or lack of it!!!!

33. Are you superstitious? not really, tho i like some of the practices

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? no

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? front~

36. What is your favorite hobby? writing, drawing, weightlifting

37. What was the last book you read? i’m not sure but i’m going to say villon’s testament

38. What was the last movie you watched? uhhhh maybe ghost in the shell? the first one.

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? tiny bit of guitar

40. What is your favorite animal? cats

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i can’t really say, i like following my friends (you know who you are i’ve msg you all basically)

42. What superpower do you wish you had? i always answer these the same way: absolute shapeshifting. 

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? in my own room around midnight OR with good friends anywhere

44. What makes you smile? anything exciting, really

45. What sports do you play, if any? uhhhh i did medieval swordfighting for a while but nowadays i dream of getting back to lifting and running

46. What is your favorite drink? water, coke, all coffee drinks, wine

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? probs within a week, we communicate between flatmates with these lil post-it notes

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes holy shit so bad

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? when people are allergic to fun/are contrarians

50. Have you ever been to a concert? yuppp a couple times

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? yes

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an author, but before that a paleontologist, and before that a circus princess

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? eugh idk almost none of them??? somewhere where it’s p idyllic

54. What is something you worry about? planet dying, economy crashing, getting back to my own two feet after this horrible mental crash i’ve been going through all spring...

55. Are you scared of the dark? a lil bit, puts me on edge

56. Do you like to sing? hell yea!!

57. Have you ever skipped school? so many times

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? my parent’s house, this one street in kyoto...

59. Where would you like to live? honestly? in the center of the city i’m living in now, or the capital... ... or kyoto or tokyo...

60. Do you have any pets? no, flatmate has cats tho

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl but a fairly balanced one

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? either is good

63. Do you know how to drive? yes

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones!! but i use buds more, more practical.

65. Have you ever had braces? yes.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? metal. like the sorta frilly vampiric neoclassical metal tons of jrock bands do?? but i like a huge variety of genres.

67. Who is your hero? gotta be my own hero

68. Do you read comic books? rarely, if we don’t count manga

69. What makes you the most angry? petty pointless shit

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? on my phone

71. What is your favorite subject in school? languages/literature

72. Do you have any siblings? four of them, two big sisters and two lil brothers

73. What was the last thing you bought? .... some food? uhhh boxers?

74. How tall are you? 168 cm ish

75. Can you cook? yes

76. What are three things that you love? storytelling, good food, good laughs

77. What are three things that you hate? generic bad injustice shit in the world, people who make fun of others for things they like, lmao my current writer’s block towards my main fic ahahaha ;;;

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? seriously fuck these questions? most of my friends are nb

79. What is your sexual orientation? queer and complicated

80. Where do you currently live? Turku

81. Who was the last person you texted? a friend

82. When was the last time you cried? i have no clue, i don’t cry often

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? everyone who subs vocaloid stuff

84. Do you like to take selfies? yessss 

85. What is your favorite app? just my JED fhgadhadh

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? a bit distant (due to physical distance) but warm and friendly and supportive

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? .... this seems strange but uh. no specific preference? throaty languages, french and arabic and russian come to mind...

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? TOKYO ive been to japan twice and lived there for a while but never managed to visit tokyo

89. What is your favorite number? 11

90. Can you juggle? a lil bit?

91. Are you religious? anti-religion more like ahaha

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? both, both is good

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really but then again i do tend to take things as challenges...

94. Are you allergic to anything? this one is a weird one. there’s a chemical that does cause some sorta reaction? it’s in some cardboard boxes and used in treating hemp rope..... 

95. Can you curl your tongue? yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? anytime i can’t wiggle out of it like “oh true yes that’s what i meant i was almost correct the first time” lmao

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? ... forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? it’s okay to half-ass things, it’s better than not doing anything

100. Are you a good liar? i think so

101. What is your Hogwarts House? gryffindor not slytherin shut upppp

102. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? ambivert? sorta more extrovert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? nahh not really

105. Do you believe in second chances? yes

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? if there was no-one nearby who could have obviously dropped it... or who could see... i would pocket any cash and take the wallet itself to lost and found.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yea.

108. Are you ticklish? no

109. Have you ever been on a plane? yes, several times

110. Do you have any piercings? fourteen and planning to get more 

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? not really anyone...

112. Do you have any tattoos? yup a big fat nb koi on my left calf

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? going ahead with transitioning

114. Do you believe in karma? no

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses! really strong ones too lmao

116. Do you want children? no. wouldn’t mind co-parenting someone else’s kids if that sorta person wandered in my life tho.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? well myself of course - no but really ahh vrow has me beat in my category of intelligence.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? i sorta picked on a kid for no reason in elementary school. it was a singular incident and i apologized a year later.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yessss currently doing one

120. What color are most of you clothes? black

121. Do you like adventures? yea to a degree? 

122. Have you ever been on TV? nope

123. How old are you? 24

124. What is your favorite quote? hhhh i don’t have all-time faves but currently just. “Just stay by my side, it doesn’t matter even if it’s a lie.”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? just give me all the food

[malmo777-blog]

About Me

Haven’t done one of these since I was fourteen. It’s time. 

1. What is your full name? Mallory Cook Fraser

2. What is your nickname? Malmo, but I try to get people to call me McFraser. No one does.

3. What is your zodiac sign?   Libra. Fun fact- I’m attracted to Tauruses, always have been, apparently always will be.

4. What is your favorite book series? Obviously Harry Potter is dope as fuck but I read these Stephanie Perkins books and fell in love.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? No aliens, although something is out there that moves, it just isn’t gonna follow our earth definition of “life”. Ghosts- not typically. I believe in energy, and energy can possess things.

6. Who is your favorite author? I love Hemingway, Stephanie Perkins, and Sarah Dessen can be great if you’re in the mood. John Green is running out of steam at this point although he used to be on the list.

7. What is your favorite radio station? I love so many! Either 95.7 or 92.5 (both NH radio)

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Cherry

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Wicked or dooooooope.

10. What is your current favorite song? Today it was Cinderblock Garden. Lately, Undone (the sweater song)

11. What is your favorite word? Fuck. 

12. What was the last song you listened to? Broadside- Coffee Talk

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Skins really is for everybody. Or HIMYM. Although Fairy Tail is my favorite, it’s not for everyone.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Little Mermaid can always perk me up. 

15. Do you play video games? Not much anymore. Used to play super nintendo. Good at racing games.

16. What is your biggest fear? Being financially unstable as an adult.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’m 100000% honest all the time. I say things exactly how I see them and never leave people guessing. I don’t like to play games and waste time.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? On the flipside of that, I can’t keep my mouth shut. If something is bothering me, I wanna talk about it, even if it’s venting to another person. Which sometimes causes unwanted conflict. Not a huge deal, but I’m also super type B and I hate conflict.

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Dogs are too in your face.

20. What is your favorite season? Springtime, spring-a-ling-a-ling time.

21. Are you in a relationship? I’m in lots of relationships, just none are romantic.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? It was so inexpensive to be a kid.

23. Who is your best friend? Not sure if he knows it, but totally my bud Dillon. He is my mind. We don’t even have to talk to understand what’s going on.

24. What is your eye color? Blue

25. What is your hair color? Golden blonde.

26. Who is someone you love? My daddy.

27. Who is someone you trust? My best friend.

28. Who is someone you think about often? Alex Gaskarth

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? End of the semester! Woooo! And I just barely got sick the day after it closed, which is good. I get sick every year around this time, it just usually falls on midterms week, not right after. So I’m happy I missed it.

30. What is your biggest obsession? My book series.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Roccos Modern Life

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Obviously my best friend.

33. Are you superstitious? Only after one of my exes passed away. Since he did, things are freaky sometimes. But never scary. It’s always good energy.

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators. Potatoes. Mold.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? In front.

36. What is your favorite hobby? Writing!

37. What was the last book you read? This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. Finished it two days ago.

38. What was the last movie you watched? Road Trip. I love raunchy comedies.

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? Bass clarinet, clarinet, guitar, a lil piano, a lil sax, and vox.

40. What is your favorite animal? Loke ;)

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? Oooo haven’t been on here enough to decide.

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Ability to call spirits and bond with them.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? Lying in bed right before sleep, listening to tunes.

44. What makes you smile? Going to work.

45. What sports do you play, if any? Marching band.

46. What is your favorite drink? There’s this orange mango peach shit from market basket that’s phenomenal. Oh, alcoholic? Ahh, umm, Smirnoff ice?

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Christmas. Cards, you know.

48. Are you afraid of heights? Used to not be but now? Abso-fuckin-lutley.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? Mixed silverware in the dishwasher.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Try 12.

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? I am vegan, but not super duper strict raw vegan or that shit. Just nothing where the ingredients state meat, eggs, or milk.

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? An actress or a pop star.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Fiore

54. What is something you worry about? Money, clearly.

55. Are you scared of the dark? No. I’ve been living in the woods long enough to be used to it.

56. Do you like to sing? FUCK YES

57. Have you ever skipped school? One time I said I was sick so I could stay home and write Harry Potter fan fiction.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Fells Point, Baltimore

59. Where would you like to live? Baltimore

60. Do you have any pets? Not anymore

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Early bird!

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrises. The signal a new chance.

63. Do you know how to drive? Very well actually.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Headphones!

65. Have you ever had braces? Nope.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? Pop punk, 2007-2008 era

67. Who is your hero? My daddy.

68. Do you read comic books? Only Deadpool

69. What makes you the most angry? When TOP fans come into my store aND FUCKING TEAR APART THE T SHIRT WALL AHH GO BACK TO HELL YOU ANGSTY LITTLE SHITS!

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real books. The creak of the pages, the smell. All part of the experience.

71. What is your favorite subject in school? History!

72. Do you have any siblings? Four older ones. Two and two, each gender.

73. What was the last thing you bought? A new air freshener for my car. Wait, no, groceries. Some of that juice I was talking about before.

74. How tall are you? Five foot nuthin’.

75. Can you cook? Apparently I can grill, I’ve been told. I think I make BOMB pasta.

76. What are three things that you love? 1. Blink 182 2. Chipotle 3. My dad

77. What are three things that you hate? 1. Pessimists 2. The word “hate” 3. Unneccessary negativity (kinda like this question)

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? A really good mix. My anime crew is all boys, my music friends are boys, my coworkers AKA besties are all girls, and my school friends are girls.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Straight.

80. Where do you currently live? Washington, NH

81. Who was the last person you texted? My girl Colby

82. When was the last time you cried? About twenty minutes ago, watching Fairy Tail

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? I don’t watch a lot of youtubers but the one I enjoy the most is Shane.

84. Do you like to take selfies? No. But on occassion I will, just so I can do better personal branding.

85. What is your favorite app? I use wattpad more than anything.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? With my mom? Deceptive, negative, she always needs something for nothing. With my dad, amazing. He’s my best friend, sole provider, everything. If he wasn’t my dad he’d still be my bestie because we just get each other.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? My phillipino friend Cam is phillipino, sounds mexican, and my mock accent is indian. Fuckin hilarious.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? San Diego, west coast pop punk capital.

89. What is your favorite number? 7, but 77 in sports.

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? I love all religion and the concept but do not identify with any one.

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Space fucks me up. Ocean for sure.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? No. I may be a Gryffindor for the things I love but I am waaaaay too type b to take unneeded risk.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Nope. But caffine reacts really badly with my body.

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yup

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Nope

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Often

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach. I can go to the forest any time; I’m bored of it.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Just as a flower does not get to choose where it blooms, a child cannot choose their parents. It stuck with me, that my character doesn’t at all need to be attached to them. That I get to be my own person.

100. Are you a good liar? No fuckin way.

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Gryffindor!

102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time, only in the car.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extrovert. Being surrounded by people makes me feel less lonely.

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? I keep an everyday question journal.

105. Do you believe in second chances? Only after apologies. No sorry, no chance.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Depends on the money. Ten bucks? I’ll call that my payment for the hassle of turning it in. Lots? Nah. If I turn it in with that much, they’ll probs be grateful and gimmie some.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Absolutely. Everyone changes all the time. 

108. Are you ticklish? If I say yes you’ll know my weakness. If I say no I’m a liar.

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yup. Like three times? Not sure.

110. Do you have any piercings? Belly button!

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Wooderson

112. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet. A few more months.

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Moving out and quitting Shaws. I followed my dreams all the way to Hot Topic.

114. Do you believe in karma? Not really. Coincidences are funny, but good people hardly ever get good karma, it’s usually only ever bad for bad people. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? No.

116. Do you want children? Four!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My best friend.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Tripping while hiking with my crush. My only recent moment.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Twice!

120. What color are most of you clothes? Maroon or green. Can’t decide.

121. Do you like adventures? Love*

122. Have you ever been on TV? Nope

123. How old are you? Seventeen without a purpose or direction.

124. What is your favorite quote? “I just wanna fuck this burrito!” - Jack Barakat

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Totally depends on the mood.

[vitaevictoria]

Every Book I Read in 2018: Part 1 https://ift.tt/2QsaJ9y

I haven't posted in 3 months but who cares! (I wrote this intro back when I hadn't posted in 3 months, but I've posted twice since working on this post! Horray for improvement!) Maybe I should post about my 4.5 month backpacking trip around Europe where I went to some cool ass countries and met some really bombass people and had a great time. But why talk about any of that on my travel blog when I just tell you about every book I read and give you my unwarranted opinions about them? I'll tell you where I was when I was reading them to keeping things ~spicy~ and ~travel related~. And no there are no affiliate links because I'm too lazy for that and I don't care anymore anyways. Back when my original reading goal was 50 books, I was just going to make this one long post. But since I've been home I've been reading a shitton (to give you a general idea of how much a "shitton" is: I read 20 books in a little over a month of being home) and right now I'm at 61 books and that's just TOO MUCH for anyone to read. So here are the first 35 books I read in 2018, and Part 2 will follow in the coming weeks. Also, be my friend on Goodreads! 1. Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed Read on my mom's couch after my wisdom teeth removal surgery. High on opioids and pissed off at the world because my FACE HURT. This book made me cry so hard and I highlighted so many quotes. I'd like to attribute the crying to the drugs and the mouth pain but honestly, it's probably because I'm a little bitch baby that cries easily at everything. 2. How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley Also read on my mom's couch. Not impressive. Move along. 3. Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray Since I was doing all this reading on my mom's couch I felt like a 9-year-old again and decided to regress into my Star Wars phase. Except now I'm older and more Star Wars exists so there are more stories to read! How fun! They have Star Wars YA now! This was my second Claudia Gray book and it was enjoyable. 4. What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to in my car over winter break. I listened to most of this at the end of 2017 but it is VERY LONG and I only listened to it while in the car (because I'm an old lady that borrows audiobook CDs from the library) so I finished it in 2018. All you need to know is that I cried at many parts while listening to this book, dreaming of what we could have had. 5. Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman Read in my college dorm, winter. I read this because I saw the movie and it rocked my world. I read the book so slowly because every sentence is beautiful and I didn't want it to end because I knew I'd never be able to read this book for the first time ever again. 6. Everything Everything by Nicole Yoon Borrow from my friend Shannon, god bless her. I don't remember much about this book so that tells you all you need to know. 7. Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert Mainly read on my couch in my dorm. SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! The institution of marriage is fascinating and scary. 8. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams Read for my Southern American Literature course. Very gay and southern. Loved it. 9. All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister Read in my bed. Committed put me in a very feministy-nonfiction mood. It dragged at points but had so many good facts you should definitely read it. 10. Where'd You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple Read on the beach in Grenada (the island in the Carribean, not Spain) because I'm fancy sometimes. Very good and very smart, I'd like to read more like this. 11. Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion Started to read in Grenada, finished in Virginia. I liked it but Didion is too smart for me. 12. Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx Read in bed at home after graduation. I cried! Shocker! 13. William Shakespeare: The World as Stage by Bill Bryson [AUDIOBOOK] Mainly listened to while cleaning my room. I learned lots of things but can't remember any of it. 14. Dress Codes for Small Towns by Courtney C. Stevens Read in my room (don't worry soon I will be traveling and my reading locations with be a lot more fun). It's about teens in youth group in a small southern town and there's stuff about sexuality and growing up and Christianity and I LOVED it. 15. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie Read in one day on the porch of my grandparent's river house. It was good and important but should be read in middle school or early high school. 16. Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Also read in one day on the porch of my grandparent's river house. Would be a good gift to a teenager or a new mom (if you know she's into that kind of stuff, of course). 17. The Idiot by Elif Batuman Started reading in Grenada, read more in my dorm room, finished in my room after I moved back home. It took me so long to read because I didn't want it to end! It's one of those books that doesn't have an OBVIOUS point but I loved it. I want more books about smart girls traveling and making mistakes and not really learning from them. 18. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to in my room as I cleaned everything out in preparation for my Europe trip. Didn't enjoy much about this audiobook, but I like how honest she is. And man, she is honest. 19. A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to driving up and down I-95 to go to my in-class portion of my TEFL course. I've decided that I'm never going to walk the whole of the AT (Appalachian Trail) so I might as well listen to the accounts of people that tried. Bill Bryson is easy to listen to and knows how to weave a story, except there was this whole portion where he talked smack about a solo female hiker for no reason. She has more balls than you do, Bill. 20. Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng [AUDIOBOOK] Finally, my books and I are in Europe! Listened to while cleaning the kitchen of the hostel I worked at in Slovakia. For some reason, I thought this would be a fun YA book with a dash of murder, but it's way more serious than that. A good look at race and family dynamics. 21. Carol (Price of Salt) by Patricia Highsmith [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to while cleaning the kitchen and just sitting in my room, taking a break from socializing. It's read by the same narrator as Everything I Never Told You and I liked her voice. A bit slow for an audiobook but the writing is beautiful. 22. Hunger: A Memoir of My Body by Roxane Gay [AUDIOBOOK] Listening while trying to hold my bladder on really bumpy minivan rides in Moldova. Gay narrates this herself and it is very good and important and everyone should read it. 23. The Garden Party and Other Stories by Katherine Mansfield Read in Romania. As far as "classics" go Mansfield is a bit easier to read, although I have to be in a particular mood for her. Which is why it took me so long to read such a slim book! Passed it on to an English guy from Bradford. 24. An Appeal to the World: The Way to Peace in a Time of Division by Dalai Lama XIV Read on a park bench in Varna, Bulgaria. I've never read the Dalai Lama before but man is he quotable. 25.  Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to while walking around Bulgarian towns. This was the perfect book to read since Clinton was the First Lady while the Clinton Administration was involved with eastern Europe and the former Yugoslavia region, which happened to be where I was traveling. 26. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding Bought from a secondhand bookshop in Varna, run by a kind and scatterbrained American lady. I love the Bridget Jones series so much and if I ever get a PhD in Literature I can easily write a whole paper on how genius Bridget Jones is. You may think it's a fun bit of Pride & Prejudice fluff, but think a lil bit harder. 27. Origin by Dan Brown Read in Veliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria. A quick read. Dan Brown is alright. 28. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi Started in Plovdiv, finished by the time I reached Sofia. The fun thing about hostel bookshelves is that all of the books that were big last year trickle their way into circulation. I loved this one so much. I love a well-done generational story. This one really helps you realize how trauma can be passed down from generation to generation. 29. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal [AUDIOBOOK]

Listened to while walking around Plovdiv, Bulgaria. I 100% recommend that you only listen to this as an audiobook. The voice actor does such a great job and this is the first fiction audiobook that I was actually excited to listen to every day.

30. The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel Found on a bus in Scotland, read in London. It was very twisted and not well written but it was a quick read. Could've been great if written by someone else. 31. The Vegetarian by Han Kang Read in Marusici, Croatia. Very literary and probably too smart for me. It was interesting but I couldn't figure out the purpose of it all. 32. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid Picked up in Trebinje, Bosnia, I think. Honestly can't remember where I was when I read this. I can see why lots of people like this book but I really do not like Hamid's writing style. 33. The Wrong Knickers: A Decade of Chaos by Byrony Gordon Read on the bus in Albania. A fun book title for people to see you reading in public! I enjoy women writing about their lives, no matter how privileged and whiny their life can be, but ugh. This one could've been good but ends with a dude saving her at the end. Gag me with a spoon. 34. Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch Read in Tirana, Albania. Really loved this one! Aaronovitch has an interesting voice and there's a lot of actual history in this book. My only problem is that his female characters are really flat and only seen as a pair of tits to the main character. I'll see if this improves in his later books. 35. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli Read in Himare, Albania. I didn't read the book Simon vs. the Homospaien Agenda but I saw the movie Love, Simon and loved it and this was the only book on the hostel shelf in English so I gave it a whirl. It was GREAT! The characters aren't perfect and they make mistakes and it's just a fun YA read! And there you have it! Stay tuned for Part 2 to find out what books I ended by 4.5 month backpacking trip with and see what I've read since I've been home. Have a good day, and go read a book!

[markyishanthonymartinez]

1/19/17

i don't think i need to intro these (as a type an intro), but i’m gonna start jotting down thoughts, feelings, activities, you name it, that i feel each day. these aren’t essays. think of this as a diary, (or journal for those men less comfortable with their sexuality). leggo.

i woke up with the same nerves i’ve had for weeks.

oh shit wait um probably not going to use names in these, just to be safe. we’ll do high school code for girls to name everyone. will be obvious enough, but just cryptic enough as well.

anyways

i woke up nervous, well rested (actually ridiculously well rested i slept like a baby prince (assuming baby princes get to indulge in being royalty but not actually having governmental duties)) but yeah nervous. i sent some risqué snapchats last night and you just never know how they’ll be received. but tbh i’ll probably send my wife a nude and be nervous she won't like it lmao. so like it’s mainly just the matter of sending or saying or doing risqué that leads to nervousness, but i guess that’s a major part of sex appeal in general. like there’s just something extra hot of doing something you definitely want to do, but would never talk about or tell others about and stuff. i got so far off topic. but yeah just imagine me checking my phone every 5 seconds to see if they had been opened. cause idk, we all like to get favorable reviews lol. funny i say that cause idrk what the reviews were lol. rip me. oh and then my sister came into my room and threw a package on my face and i got so excited cause packages are always so great. it was from american apparel. they got bought out. rip. i bought two pairs of underwear and a baseball tee. except kinda bummed cause i got a white/pink baseball tee and i thought the pink would be a bit more pastel, but it’s pretty bright and idk if i can pull that off, but we’ll see i guess. also, speaking of underwear and risqué photos, would girls enjoy receiving a picture of a guys butt? like i promise i’m not hank hill, if anything my butt is one of my most complimented features. (i’ve learned to appreciate it now, but it used to make me feel so awkward when girls would compliment it). anyways is that something girls are into???? or is that just weird? or like how do you pose? or like do you wear underwear? lmao WHAT HAS THIS BLOG BECOME I’M SO SORRY I’M JUST TOSSING OUT WHATEVER POPS INTO MY HEAD. but yeah idk i feel like there has to be a sense of tastefulness with this kind of stuff and idk if this falls into the tasteful area. this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.

wait also i just realized this blog is making it sound like i just send dick pics to every girl in my snapchat list and i’m some seasoned veteran. 1. that is the most disgusting thing ever and pretty much rape 2. i’m not disgusting or a rapist 3. this is quite literally the second person i’ve ever sent anything risqué to. 

continuing

i get up and ready for the day and eat breakfast and hygiene and normal morning stuff. ya’know. i edit for a bit which is normal for my mornings. i got adventurous and sang for a while. i’ve been singing along to state champs’ “the acoustic things” record quite a bit recently. derek’s vocals are a challenge, but with proper breathing and posture and technique i can just about hang around. and i really like that record. and it’s fun. so yeah, been hella jammin’. i then revamped and updated my résumé cause that’s just something you should do decently often and i hadn’t recently and like internship search is full speed ahead starting asap, but more on that later. mj got home from school, he’s had half days cause finals. wait they don't call them finals. semester exams? yeah. that’s it. but yeah i know why he’s home, but i still make sure to ask him why he’s home so early every day just to be annoying and stuff. he fed my fish (he always does). we all ate lunch together and watched the barcelona vs real sociedad game. barça won 1-0. neymar drew a penalty. it was pretty ugly defending. v typical barça cup-game win. mj and i watched youtube for a while and then we played fifa together. i’m so glad he has an xbox now. i’ve dearly missed playing with him and this lets us have that much more communication and quality time while i’m away, doing something we enjoy. i was kinda trash today lol, oh but i did have a hat trick and a perfect 10 rating in one game, but other than that i was in struggle town. then i got off, it’s always funny saying bye to joey on xbox cause like it’s not actually bye cause he’s right down the hall. 

(hold on telling elmo to shhhhhhh)

back. he isn't shhhhhhh-ing (i had to make sure that had the right amount of h’s). oh but yeah then i hung out listening to music that i should stop being lazy about and review. and then i started grinding on internship applications. i hate applications. i hate the fact that anyone would ever be able to develop an opinion about me without seeing my face and speaking to me in person. despite all my swagginess, i’ve quite literally always felt underestimated my entire life so it sucks even more in these situations. but yeah nevertheless most of them are really just sending them your résumé and crossing your fingers, but having a cute-ass résumé and a dank email will hopefully be my ticket in. i did threeeeee, i think 3? one being pa’s current workplace so hopefully i can get the in. the other one is like looking for an intern to help with the process of them moving their facility so that’s kinda depressing cause like oh yeah come help us move away from reno so you can't work for us anymore. they're moving to georgia like nah sry fam. but i mean i’d take it if it’s all i could get, most certainly. and the final being (gulps) tesla. *shivers* tesla’s like life goals. not just for internships, but like that would hopefully give me some sort of pathway to actually getting hired by them after college and i think you could kill me at that point cause i’d have a fulfilled life. am kidding. but really, that’s pretty much career goals. i don't really expect it, cause idk i’m not that special, but gotta shoot my shot. apjofijelkahg now i’m thinking how perfect my life would be if i could work for tesla. i’ve been heart eyes about that entire company since high school when i first heard about the roadster. uggggh. wow what is wrong with me. quite literally the first thing that pops into my mind after thinking about graduating and career and making money and cool stuff is getting married to a total babe that lets me send her pictures of my butt and having little baby marks running around. is that bad? jk there’s nothing wrong with me. that’s (fingers crossed) v realistic and like idk, life comes at you fast. people generally like having the whole relationship part of it set up around their mid twenties in order to start havin’ lil babies not too long after that. 

oh god i got so off topic and this has taken so long. so pretty much i did internship searching and applying and then decided to take a break, during which i finally convinced myself to start this journal/blog/diary thing. this was an absolute train wreck of a post but it felt really good to just unwind, take a seat and write everything that popped into my mind today. hopefully i’ll keep doing this. 

final thoughts: i’ve recently realized how much i like peter pan. like obviously the movie, but the characters and the storylines and a lot of the vibes are things i can totally relate to, even more so now then when i was a kid. maybe i’ll watch it again tomorrow. what else is a lost boy to do? not grow up, that’s for sure.

always do fun things. and stay beautiful

- mark anthony martinez