#i’m also not a big fan of Fyodor but i don’t really hate him. just kinda like ‘ugh this guy again ���’

[calmlb]

(hope you don't mind three at once! :3)

🍦, 🏜️ and ☁️

ofc i don’t mind!!! 🥰🫶🏻

🍦 i answered this one here! (i don’t rly have any other characters that i hate)

🏜️ my favorite type of comment to receive are the long ones that detail which lines or sections someone liked or what stuck out to them 🥺 i also like the ones that share their interpretation of the story, bc sometimes it’s different than my intention when writing it (tho not wrong per se) so it’s super interesting to see how ppl interpret things differently!! 🥹

☁️ (i'm assuming this is for my ao3 username) i chose my username when i was in the miraculous ladybug fandom. CALM are the initials of the 2 main characters & their alter egos, & then the show's acronym is MLB. therefore: calmlb was born :’)

writers ask game

[cyanoscarlet]

2020 writing review

Thanks for the tag, @gladiowrites​! (I know it’s not a tag, but this is fun to do lol)

I.. honestly wrote a lot this 2020. No kidding. Quarantine productivity was real, but so is residency languishing by the wayside while everyone was busy surviving and adjusting. I highly doubt 2021 will be the same, but I’ll always cherish 2020 just because of the writing and nothing else.

This is gonna be long.

FIRST CREATION + MOST RECENT CREATION OF 2020

8:15 am  - Final Fantasy XV. Lunafreya. February 2020. - First piece ever written for the year. - Intended to be a Luna-centric AU, in which the Nox Fleurets were deposed and she’s now a regular teacher. Never managed to write anything beyond that, though, because residency. (Back then, I didn’t know it was gonna be the beginning of the end, so I had hopes. Oh well.)

irresistible!, or the summer ramblings of nene yashiro and everything that followed - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun. Nene, Hanako. March 2020. - First one published on AO3 for 2020 (yes, there’s a distinction). - If you think the title sounds familiar, you’re right.

versus

first yuletide - Final Fantasy XV. Nyx. December 2020. - Written for the FFXV Secret Santa event on Twitter. - Before y’all object and say what unwinding is, that’s an old fic uploaded late.

ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CREATIONS FROM 2020

Do I seriously have to choose? Omg.

take heart - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Gods/Humans AU. - Discovered so much about myself writing this. Also (hopefully) I managed to get into Dazai’s headspace correctly. He’s an extremely difficult character to write, so finishing this brought so much gratification.

you don’t raise heroes, you raise sons - Final Fantasy VIII. Laguna, Squall. Post-canon. - Probably my most heartfelt work of the year- scratch that, ever. Also happy with how I just let myself go writing this and didn’t need to think twice.

A CREATION YOU’RE REALLY PROUD OF

oneiric moments (or, five nights with you) - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. - Written for the SKK Fic Exchange for Summer 2020. - Five interconnected fics. 18,985 words. - Might not be a big deal for others, but this was taxing because I don’t usually write long, multichaptered stuff. I got carried away, though. It ain’t as well-polished as my more recent stuff, but I’m proud of myself for pulling this off.

A NEW STYLE YOU TRIED THIS YEAR & A FIC THAT USES IT

I... don’t think I have tried anything of the sort. My repertoire is sorely limited compared to others, I’m afraid. I’d probably have an answer for “explored new themes,” but again, I’ve a limited arsenal, too, in that regard.

A CREATION THAT TOOK YOU FOREVER

all in a day’s work - Bungou Stray Dogs. Atsushi, Akutagawa. Cells at Work AU. - It’s still being written, with a lot of side stories planned but never drafted. - I fell out of love with BSD, recovered from that, then got busy with residency.

YOUR CREATION FROM 2020 THAT RECEIVED THE MOST NOTES KUDOS

Also take heart. While I am proud of it, I guess it hit the right spot for mainstream shippers, too, somewhat? My feelings about mainstream things have changed a lot because of things, but I am still happy.

A CREATION YOU THINK DESERVED MORE NOTES KUDOS

amīcitia - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Chuuya. Final Fantasy XV AU. - Petty indignancy for my self-indulgent baby aside, I’m also proud of how I wrote Dazai in this one, similar to take heart.  the fun they had - Bungou Stray Dogs. Kajii, Port Mafia Ensemble. - ... Guys. Please notice genfics.

A NEW FANDOM YOU JOINED AND A CREATION YOU MADE FOR IT

Everything I wrote for Bungou Stray Dogs. (I kid you not.)

If you want a single answer anyway:

on the flaming mountains - act-age. Chiyoko, Kei. Princess Iron Fan Arc. - arc words: “what shall i do with this ire?” - I wouldn’t really say I “left” the fandom, more like it fizzled out after Matsuki-sensei got arrested.

A CREATION YOU MADE THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART

a cycle of; - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Medico-legal AU. - Written out of much anger and frustration over things. Also because this in itself was frustrating to write.

Also  you don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. Because no matter how much I hate my family at so many points in my life, I know I can’t truly hate them from the bottom of my heart. This fic is a reminder of that.

A SIMPLE CREATION THAT YOU REALLY LOVE

express delivery for love - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai/Chuuya. Real World Quarantine AU. - It’s funny. It’s orthodox. It’s sweet. I don’t think it can get any better than that.

A CREATION THAT WAS INSPIRED BY ANOTHER ONE

rather be - Bungou Stray Dogs. Yosano. Pre-canon. - Inspired by yesterday is another world by @wctercress​ - The whole of primum non nocere, actually, but specifically this one, and the rest followed. - This is also my first BSD fic. Ever.

A FAVORITE CREATION CREATED BY SOMEONE ELSE

... You sure? There’s a lot, and this is just on the surface. (unleashes the proverbial waterfall)

The aforementioned yesterday is another world by @wctercress​

silencer and snow white days by EKmisao - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Chuuya. Dead Apple canon-divergent. - The aftermath of Dead Apple, in which one of two goes wrong. - They’re unrelated, I know. But they’re both sisters! Just trust me on this. - The proper entry for this would be silencer, but I can’t very well mention one without the other, so have both anyway. I read both only this year, after all. Waiting for Godot by @eternal-aegis​ - Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai, Fyodor, Chuuya. Canon-divergent. - Amazing theme, amazing philosophy, amazing writing. It makes you think. It makes you analyze and explore. This writer definitely knows her stuff, and it shows. Catharsis by @gladiowrites​ - Final Fantasy VIII. Rinoa, Gen. Caraway. Post-canon. - The denouement to the Caraway family drama we all deserve. I love how Rinoa is presented in this fic. She’s a normal person who makes mistakes and learns her lessons. So is Fury. Burned bridges don’t always have to stay down, and this fic illustrates that wonderfully.

Culmination by @gladiowrites​ - Final Fantasy VIII. Squall, Rinoa. Post-canon. - We can’t all have happy endings. This fic also illustrates that very well. While I, a Squinoa fan, personally ascribe to the happy ending Squall and Rinoa must have had after the events of FF8, this fic is so compelling and grounded and reflective and I totally buy this. 

Here Without You by @muselover1901​ - Akagami no Shirayuki-hime. Zen/Shirayuki. Real world quarantine AU. - One of the sweetest stories I’ve ever read this year. I can definitely relate to a lot of things in this fic. I’ve been rereading all of Muse’s ANS stuff whenever I feel down, and they all hit the spot.

Savor The Moment by @joeys-piano​ - Bungou Stray Dogs. Oda. Pre-canon. - Yes, yes, YES. One of the best stories I’ve ever read this year, ever. (And I mean stories, not fanfics.) Great character study about a man named Oda and a day in his life and a page (or three) out of his book of relationships. The love poured into this is simply overflowing and precious. I’ve been following Joey since this fic was being written, and I’m so proud of him.

False Equivalences by @slowquotesquill - Dai Gyakuten Saiban. Asougi, Ryuunosuke. Fullmetal Alchemist AU. - This fic also! Oh, My Heart. The cynicism of a state alchemist and the optimism of a foreign doctor. It perfectly hits the spot for everything FMA, and we all know that SQQ’s Asouryuu fics are always to die for. It’s the ultimate combo.

The whole Promptober Leo/Will/Despair series by @eternal-aegis - Kekkai Sensen. Various themes, many of which are dark/mature. - I’ve said this with Waiting for Godot, and I’ll say it again: Aegis knows her stuff. This is her exploring further in that direction, and you can feel the improvement with every fic in the series. I really love how adventurous these stories are, and how much depth you can go with every one. Her characterization is layered and exquisite, and the underlying lore is well-thought-out. - tl;dr: B3 Goddess.

Predestined by Galkimasera - Final Fantasy VIII. Rinoa, Squall. Reverse/Fateswap AU. - A very well-written reverse AU! The circumstances of Squall and Rinoa in this ‘verse fit so well and are so well thought out. I love this AU so much, you don’t even know. It also fills my nostalgic shipper’s heart with much joy at seeing quality content in this Year of our Lord 2020.

For auld lang syne, my dear by @by-nina - Fullmetal Alchemist. Roy, Riza. Canon-compliant + post-canon. - Holiday feels, snapshots through time, and all over showing Roy and Riza’s budding relationship over the years. And it does remind me of a lot of the SKK fics I’ve written (thematic-wise). This was such a treat to read and to follow. All her FMA fics are. She does Royai so much justice. Am not yet finished reading smoke without fire, but I’ll get to that, too!

SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE CONTENT CREATORS FROM THIS YEAR

Everyone in the answer above. There’s honestly a whole boatload of more, but this is getting too long already lololol

(might edit this when I feel like it, tho!)

[cherryyharryy]

I’ll Be Okay

WC:1k

Warnings: Smut

The interpretations of Dreams, Sigmund Freud. Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch, Henry Miller. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck.

It looks like the books are moving. The bed is creaking, an awful, rusted squeaking sound that I’ll remember for years. Sweat is building up in the same places as when I wake in the middle of the night in August. But I can’t get up to stumble across the room to turn the fan on. It looks like the books are moving, but it’s just me.

When I look down I can hardly see my body; he’s covering up so much. I wonder if my sweat bothers him. I guess not, because then he might get off.

Moby Dick, Herman Melville. The Order of Time, Carlo Revelli. A Journal of the Plague Year, Daniel Defoe.

It’s like the books are shaking now. And he’s grunting now. When he stops and pulls out, I realize how dehydrated I am, because it takes too long for relief to register in my brain. And then once it does, it’s too late. I’m flipped over like a doll.

It’s almost two AM. I watch the second hand for an entire revolution. What time was it when I got here? How did I get here?

He said, “I’ve been watching you all night.”

I said, “I just got here.”

I remember the drink he gave me. I poured it out. I pretended to take a sip and then poured it out. And you might think I was being too nice to a guy who thought complimenting my eyes was enough, but it was done out of habit. He couldn’t even see my eyes.

The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade, Peter Weiss. The Hound of the Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle. The Holy Bible.

He’s good at what he does. He’s patient. He starts with sweet names. Then it’s a hand on your knee. And you think, it’s just my knee, I’m okay. Then a hand on your back, rubbing your neck, thumb on your cheek. I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.

He brought up his apartment like it was a new idea. Like people didn’t visit other people and he’s the first one to think of it. He tugged me off my stool, and I forgot how to say no.

The wallpaper is torn by the door. It’s some God awful print from the 70’s. I smell alcohol. His mouth is by my ear. No, I don’t like that you bastard. I’m okay. I’ll be okay.

And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks, Jack Kerouac and William S. Burroughs. History of the Rain, Niall Williams. Eleven Poems, Seamus Heaney

The lights are off and there’s a lava lamp on his desk. All my clothes are on the floor. His are still on. My arms are weak, and I fall onto his bed. My face is pushed into the sheets. Not even the pillow. I don’t even get a pillow.

More sweat, accumulating on my skin, like swarms of mosquitoes landing and sticking to me. More and more. I can’t breathe. It hurts. I hate him. I want to die.

He studies English. He wants to travel. He went to Japan three years ago and he’s never been the same. He’s thinking about going vegan. It’s amazing how many facts a man will tell you about themselves when they can’t take their eyes off your breasts. And apparently, I feel so fuckin’ good. I wouldn’t know

I like to read too. Why did I tell him that? Why did I offer anything up? Checkmate. He had me. I opened the door for him. He plowed through before I could step out of the way. You should come over and see my collection. I think you’ll like it.

The Hobbit, J.R.R Tolkien. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov.

A very boring city sits outside the window; I have a view now. I’ve been placed ever so delicately on the edge of his bed. The squeaking is worse now. And the headboard bangs against the wall. It’s an old, chipped gold railing type. I’ve hit my head three times so far. I said shit each time and he said nothing.

It’s so dark out I can pretend I’m anywhere. Just a skyline of buildings. New York, London, Paris. I’ll be okay. Paris. I’m in Paris. If I squint, the water tower can be the Eiffel Tower. The power plant...the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I’m in Italy now. Maybe—

“I’m so close.”

Nevermind.

The sounds he makes when he’s finally finishing, are, without exaggeration, revolting. And then as he’s zipping his jeans he’s humming. Rocket Man. I’ll have to remember to delete it off my playlist. I’m surprised—dumbfounded—when he tosses the condom in the trash. I hate that I can’t remember him ever putting it on.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens. Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business, Neil Postman and Andrew Postman.

I pick up my clothes piece by piece. They burn when I slide them on.

Television: Seeing by Wire or Wireless, Alfred Dinsdale. Watership Down, Richard Adams. The Midnight Watch: A Novel of the Titanic and the Californian, David Dyer.

“You weren’t lying,” I say, scanning the bookshelf now that they’ve stopped moving.

“‘Course not.”

The Stories of Anton Chekhov, Anton Chekhov. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce.

He moves past me, the bathroom door shutting a moment after. I step back to see the top shelves.

The Odyssey, Homer. The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky. The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri.

I said yes. To everything. I can’t really blame him for hating myself. I reach up and slip Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad, off and fan the pages under my nose. The bathroom door starts opening, and I shove the book into the waistband of my pants.

“You wanna stay? Smoke a little?”

“No, I’m just gonna go.”

The Sound and the Fury, by William Faulkner. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee. The Trial, Frank Kafka.

He says something else, but I’m already passing by his couch. “Thanks for the book,” I whisper. “I’ll add it to my own collection.” You should come see it sometime.

[dirtydiabolikloversconfessions]

Bungou Stray Dogs

1. The first character I first fell in love with: Dazai 2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: CHUUYA OH GOD 3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t: idk is Fyodor popular? let’s just say I’m not a big Fyodor fan lol...I also don’t really like Ango that much 4. The character I love that everyone else hates: ...uhhh idk if Higuchi is hated but I really like her 5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Akutagawa...sort of...I still like him but not as much as I used to anymore 6. The character I would totally smooch: CHUUUYAAA 7. The character I’d want to be like: Yosano is a badass queen...but tbh I really want Chuuyas gravity manipulation ability jhdfdgf 8. The character I’d slap: Fitzgerald...damn those rich people 9. A pairing that I love S O U K O K U 10. A pairing that I despise none

[blackjacketmuses]

frost blue, burnt umber, tea orange, vermillion, coral, bougainvillaea, currant, crimson, mallow, cadmium yellow, anise, new leaf, sanguine, cool grey for you newest muses~

frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?

Dazai: Dazai hates cold weather. Hates it! He’s too skinny for this he hates being cold, catch him burying himself in six blankets or draping himself dramatically across a space heater. He’s not a fan of sweaty weather, either, but summer is less awful.

Poe: Edgar prefers the snowy season and winter most of all, mostly because it’s the season for blankets and warm drinks and snuggling up in your room to write. And really, ‘strangers stuck in a building during a snowstorm’ is a classic mystery trope and one of his favorites.

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

Dazai: Ahahahaha. Okay, no, he’s actually fairly stable? In a, uh, very specific sort of way. He’s functional, by some description, and not A Mess, but...he’s stable in that we can expect him to keep his cool and not have a meltdown? But he’s definitely not...he’s mentally stable, I’d say, yes, but not emotionally stable. He’s just very good at pretending otherwise.

Poe: Ha, not really? He’s far better now than he was at the bottom of his epic downward spiral, but he’s definitely not the most stable man. Too much anxiety and depression and cripplingly low self-esteem and shyness. 

tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?

Dazai: Suicide. I mean, besides that, uh. He actually has a fascination with reading about gods and monsters and folk legends? Part of that is absolutely because of Chuuya and Arahabaki, but part of it is a desire to both find something so out of the normal that it might actually kill him, or find an explanation for why he is how he is.

Poe: Cryptography! Word puzzles and ciphers and codes are so neat, and he loves making them and solving them. He’s considering making some to give to Ranpo to try out for a change of pace from mystery solving, but he’s not sure if the other man would be interested...

vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward?

Dazai: Well, Dazai doesn’t think in terms of courage/cowardice? He has a very utilitarian “if it needs done, it needs done” view of things; no matter what it is, if it’s necessary to do, he’ll do it. More generally, I’m not sure he even can feel genuine fear? He can be concerned or worried or shocked, but real fear is a little beyond him.

Poe: Oh, he absolutely thinks of himself as a coward! He refuses to fight and would much rather just avoid any confrontation altogether, and hates raised voices and loud noises and crowds. (He does however have an extremely high tolerance for spooky/scary things and occult creepiness, he loves that shit, so there is that.)

coral: what is your muse's romantic and sexual orientations?

Dazai: Bisexual biromantic. However, he’s also...I wouldn’t say he’s demisexual or demiromantic, but though he’s absolutely flirtatious on occasion (of late, it’s just a new thing he’s playing around with trying) and has had sex before, it’s not something that he really puts much thought into. Feelings are hard enough to parse without putting romance into it, and he sees sex as more of a way to feel things and as a release more than anything intrinsically tied to romance. He is capable of it, though, it’s just. Complicated to say the least. 

Poe: Edgar is absolutely deeply, deeply asexual, and he’s not very sure about romantic orientation? He has had crushes on a few girls before, but he’s very much also crushing hard on Ranpo. So I’d really put him as biromantic, but still somewhat closeted.

bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?

Dazai: Ha. He can be vague about things when he wants to be, and he is a lot of the time --- he treats a lot of things as only need-to-know basis, especially his plans --- but when the chips are down he can be pretty brutally blunt.

Poe: He hates being straightforward, it makes him anxious that people will be mad at him, so he’s gotten really good at beating around the bush and talking around things. He is a mystery writer after all.

currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?

Dazai: Waste of life. He’s very pragmatic and efficient and straightforward with all he does, and even if his plans are left mysterious and a little convoluted at times they’re all plotted to get the result as quickly and simply as he can manage; he hates any sort of thing where people die or are hurt for no reason, like how Mori basically threw Oda away, or Mori releasing Q without caring about collateral damage. Can you tell he isn’t a big fan of Mori? He didn’t like him before, but despite him being genuinely devoted to the mafia, his habit of making moves that don’t seem to care about getting people killed who don’t have to get killed has really not helped. 

Poe: Bad writing!! Purposefully bad writing!!! Writing that shows you give zero fucks about the actual characters and plot of your work, just the end goal of whatever you’re writing!! Writers selling out and going paint-by-numbers with their plots because they care more about the money than the work itself!! He’s very passionate about this!!!

crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most?

Dazai: Passion is difficult. I wouldn’t say that he’s passionate about the things he cares about most, even suicide, but he’s devoted. Passion implies a level of emotion that he’s not really capable of experiencing quite as much as most people, but he’s devoted to the things he cares about, so that’s in a way the same thing.

Poe: Super passionate. Mysteries and writing (and to a lesser extent the occult and cryptography) are basically the only things that get him excited and able to actually talk and gesture and get really happy and passionate and vibrant, that really let him come out of his anxious shell and be the huge dramatic dork that he is.

mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds?

Dazai: Wine, stupid fancy hats, cats, curry, bourbon and jazz music, schedules, the sound of a chainsaw, butterflies, straw hats, piles of candy, stuffed rabbits or stuffed tigers, a default cellphone ring, black coats, ochazuke.

Poe: Candy, newsboy caps, the smell of grapes and the ocean mixed together, snowglobes and tea, the scratch of a pen on paper, green eyes.

cadmium yellow: what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?

Dazai: Don’t talk to him about the mafia, don’t talk to him about Lupin, don’t talk to him about Ango or Odasaku, don’t ask him about his history with Akutagawa or Mori, don’t ask him about why he’s so obsessed with suicide (and expect a straight answer). In fact, he tends to avoid talking about anything from before he joined the ADA as much as he possibly can. He’s started a new life, as far as he’s concerned, and wants the ADA to know as little about who he was then as possible. Not necessarily that he cares if they think less of him, it’s just...he wants to do what he promised Odasaku. He doesn’t want to bring the person he used to be back into this.

Poe: He doesn’t talk about his parents much, and he sure as hell avoids talking about the six years between his defeat at Ranpo’s hands and his arrival in Japan with the Guild. He can give basics to others if necessary, but he doesn’t want to relive that time.

anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don't deserve it?

Dazai: What’s self care? His sleep patterns are pretty irregular if he sleeps at all, and he either eats normally or forgets to eat for days at a time, it varies wildly at best. Self care for Dazai is, in all honesty, trying to kill himself. Yes, you can be worried, this is definitely unhealthy.

Poe: Self care is blanket burritos, hot cider or mulled wine, and a good book. He has enough bad days that sometimes this is literally all he can do, and though he’s trying not to drink as much anymore, it still happens.

new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any

Dazai: He can’t think of anything, and even if he could, it’s not like it’s going to change anything. What’s the point in it? He knows the person he was wouldn’t listen.

Poe: Please don’t give up. If you keep working hard, you’ll see him again and he’ll acknowledge you.

sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?

Dazai: He’s pretty realistic, almost pragmatically so. People are idiots, prone to thinking emotionally, evil people exist and win more than they lose, and life is full of bullshit and things you can’t stop or change even if they suck. But somehow, people still live. People still live, and that’s...probably enough for them. As for personally, it’s....a lot more complicated. 

Poe: He’s pretty pessimistic as a general rule, poor thing.

cool grey: if your muse could ensure one thing for certain in their future to come, what would it be?

Dazai: (manga spoilers) If he could ensure one thing in the future, it would be that the ADA gets their reputation back after they defeat Fyodor and can go back to their usual lives without being hated or chased down or accused of things they’d never do/have never done. He doesn’t care so much about himself, but he wants the rest of the ADA to get their lives back.

Poe: One thing for certain? That none of the people he cares about die or are lost to him. What’s going on right now is scary, and he’s afraid for the people involved in it. (That, or that he gets to keep Ranpo’s respect.)

[mandelene]

Thank you to @feyna-v for tagging me! 

Rules: tag 10 followers you want to know better

Name: Nice try. I’m not ready to tell the whole internet yet. 

Gender: Female

Star sign: Aries

Height: 5′10 ft (1.778 m) Yup, I’m tall. I blame my Slavic dad. 

Sexuality: Heterosexual

What images do you have as your desktop/phone wallpaper: For my desktop, I have the standard mountains at night picture that’s already programmed into my MacBook. For my phone, I have a pic of a street in London and some double-decker buses as my lock screen. My phone’s home screen is a pic of a bunch of red roses. 

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: All of my male teachers/professors have been old enough or almost old enough to be my father, so no. 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years: I want to be writing, hopefully professionally, in either non-fiction (as a journalist) or fiction (as a novelist). If not, working for an NGO or doing something where I could be active in a community would be the next best thing. I also wouldn’t mind teaching if I had the opportunity -- I’d probably teach some kind of writing or political science class. I want to get married at some point and have kids (but that seems ages away, and I need to find my other half first, haha). I’d like to live outside of NYC, though preferably still in a city (just a smaller one). 

Anywhere else right now, where would you be: Traveling some part of the world. I want to go to as many places as possible before I become an actual adult with a family to take care of and lots of responsibilities. 

What was your coolest Halloween costume: I had a pretty awesome pirate costume one year in middle school (though it was a historically inaccurate costume because there weren’t many female pirates back in those days, haha). I had a big Pirates of the Carribean phase at about the age of 12 and wanted to be Keira Knightley’s character from the movies. 

What was your favourite 90’s show: I’ll ignore that there was a “u” in favorite, but I just want everyone to know I’ve been triggered. I was just a tiny thing in the 90s, but according to my mom, my favorite kids TV shows were Rugrats, Powerpuff Girls, Pokemon, Dragon Tales, Blue’s Clues, and Arthur (which has the best theme song ever -- ♪ HEY, WHAT A WONDERFUL KIND OF DAY! ♪ ). Wasn’t a big fan of Teletubbies, Barney, or Caillou, but I watched them anyway. I also watched a lot of the shows that my older sister watched like All That and The Amanda Show, but again, I was really young, so I didn’t appreciate it that much because I didn’t always understand everything.  I think my absolute favorite show though was either Dragon Tales or Arthur.

Who was your last kiss: My cat (Macchiato). Kissed him on the head this morning. Have you ever been stood up: Yes, and at senior prom nonetheless. (My date showed up with another girl). We were supposed to go as friends, but he avoided me the whole night. I found out later that he was with some other girl when the pics started popping up on Facebook. He was the president of student government, so everyone knew him, which meant everyone was talking about it the next day. I still had a great time at prom though because my two amazing friends (whom I’m still very close with), danced with me and made sure I had fun. My parents were furious and my dad threatened to confront him (because that’s what dads do), but I told him it wasn’t worth it. In the end, it was actually my teacher that confronted the guy. He somehow found out about what happened (because gossip spreads like wildfire in high school). The boy was in one of his other classes, so he pulled him aside, lectured him, and made him apologize to me (apology not accepted though, lol). Then, my teacher told me how he got stood up at prom, too, and made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. It was really sweet of him. I’m still Facebook friends with that teacher now, haha. No one was allowed to mess with me when he was around because I was his top student. :D He also told off a girl who was always bullying me. Thanks, Mr. S. :) 

Have you ever been to Las Vegas: Nope. 

Favourite pair of shoes: My black and orange Nike sneakers. They’re super comfortable. 

Favourite fruit: Red apples

Favourite books: Anything written by George Orwell (Animal Farm, 1984, and Down and Out in Paris and London). My favorite book of all time, however, is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I also love Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. 

Stupidest thing you have ever done: Some of you probably already know this, but I fell down the stairs in my apartment building when I was 19, hahaha. It was winter and the stairs were slippery because they were wet with melting ice and snow. And when I say “fell down the stairs,” I mean I slid on my butt down an entire staircase (15 steps). I was home alone because my parents were out grocery shopping at Costco, and I intended to go out to get some dinner because they weren’t going to be back for a while, and well, that obviously didn’t work out so great. I got some x-rays at my mom’s hospital and, fortunately, found out didn’t break any bones -- just had a lot of bruises and a wounded pride. 

I haven’t done anything stupid in terms of purposefully doing something reckless or being under the influence. I’m pretty boring and a goodie-two-shoes. I’m also very guarded, so I don’t let myself get put in those types of situations. Most of the dumb things I’ve done have been the result of my clumsiness or my inability to take care of myself. For example, I hid the fact that I wasn’t taking my asthma meds when I was 13 from my parents. Advair was making me lose my voice, and I felt humiliated in school because I always sounded like I had a sore throat, so I just stopped taking it. I started needing my rescue inhaler at least twice a day (which I also hid from my parents). Plus, I really hated my pulmonologist, so I didn’t want to do anything he told me to do because he was honestly a complete dick and had no idea how to talk to kids. Long story short, the next time I got a cold, my lungs couldn’t handle it. I developed pneumonia, ended up in the ICU for a week, and very nearly died. Definitely not smart. Fortunately, I had a great team of doctors treating me, and I’ll be indebted to them for the rest of my life. I learned my lesson and take my health much more seriously now (and I have a way better pulmonologist who is brilliant and I like a lot more. He’s actually one of the doctors who took care of me during that time, and I’ve been going to him ever since. That’s why it’s incredibly important to find a healthcare team that’s right for you).  I tag anyone reading this who wants to do it because I don’t want to keep bugging my followers, haha. If you guys end up doing it, let me know! :) 

[amorremanet]

Oh boy, you're one of my all-time favorite content creators so I wanna ask a lot of questions. I'm particularly curious about 1-4, 17, and 19, but I understand that that is a significant amount of questions, so don't feel obligated to answer them all if you don't want to - just do whichever ones you please! 🌸

asks for fanfic writers

number 2 is done over here, but!

1. things that inspire you

……Uh. That’s a good question. tbh, it’s hard for me to pin down a specific set of things because… Sure, quotes or pictures usually help a lot, and so does music, but inspiration comes out of pretty much everywhere, for me, and at any time. Which can be super-frustrating when it happens, like. While I’m driving, or when I can’t get to my phone or a notebook to jot the idea down, but… Sighs. This is life, sadly

3. name three favorite writers — idk if this is supposed to be fan-authors or not but i’m really bad at picking fave fan-authors, so I’m going with not

1. Federico García Lorca — don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here, crying a lot, because García Lorca was such a beautiful soul who wrote such beautiful poems and plays, and THIS!! BADASS!!!! OH MY GOD. He was killed for being a gay man who gave General Franco the middle finger and didn’t just lie down for fascism but fought to try and keep his country from being taken over by said fascists. I love this man, don’t even go there.

2. Fyodor Dostoevsky — it was a really close call between him and Mikhail Bulgakov, because I’m limiting myself to one prolific Russian even though I love them both. But Dostoevsky won out because I’ve loved him longer, and I’ve read more of his stuff than I have Bulgakov’s (which is really saying a lot because Dostoevsky often makes GRRM look positively succinct by comparison) (though in fairness, that’s a bit on his brain; Dostoevsky lived with a form of temporal lobe epilepsy that resulted in hypergraphia and he lived in an age when novels were originally published as serials and you got paid by the word, so much like Darles Chickens, he went on and on and added subplots left right and center because Dostoevsky had to get paid), and The Brothers Karamazov is one of my favorite novels ever.

It’s also secretly hilarious, like. Yes, it’s a door-stopper that has a lot of heavy shit going on, too, with familial dysfunction and murder and all kinds of theology — but don’t try to read this book while you’re drinking something because you will probably choke on it at some point.

3. Adrienne Kennedy (I have admittedly only read one of her plays and I haven’t had the opportunity to see any of her work performed live, but Funnyhouse Of A Negro is legit one of the best works of 20th century American literature. It’s a one-act play, I’m not saying that this is a link to a PDF of it but I’m not not-saying that either if u know what I mean, and it will completely blow your mind — like, it’s so out there, doing stuff that nobody else is doing in the same way, and it’s fucking beautiful)

Honorable Mentions: Anne Rice (because no matter what issues I have with her, and we could be here all night, even if I cut out the, “and here is why Anne Rice is Wrong™ about fanfiction” tirade, because I have a LOT of issues with her? I am still trash garbage for self-indulgent gay Catholic vampires, especially when they helped get me through a lot of really bad downswings by being trashy and self-indulgent, the end)

Neil Gaiman (because no matter what issues I have with him — and there are plenty of them, some personal and some ideological — Good Omens, American Gods, and his run on Sandman are some of my favorite stories ever, they’ve helped get me through some shit much like Anne Rice and JKR have done, and I’ll probably never be over That One Quote from The Kindly Ones about, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it?”)

and Leonard Cohen (I would talk about him more, I feel bad for not doing it but I’m still not ready to deal with his death, even though it’s been a couple months, just? His poetry is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever read, and to be fair, Beautiful Losers isn’t a novel that I’d recommend to everybody but I love it)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

1. Augusten Burroughs, Oscar Wilde, and JK Rowling get listed together because they’re in the same post and I’m gonna cheat

2. Kurt Vonnegut — like, I love his stories themselves, of course. The first thing of his that I read was his short story, “Harrison Bergeron”; we read it in seventh grade English and it was so completely unlike literally anything I’d ever seen. The things that were closest to it were Roald Dahl (they had a similar off-kilter sense of humor, though Dahl and Vonnegut are different in how they go about being off-kilter), Fahrenheit 451 (we read it in sixth grade English and it just hit me like a big yellow school bus)

and Animal Farm (which we also read in seventh grade English, and it was on a similar wavelength with “Harrison Bergeron,” as being stuff written by political leftists who weren’t afraid of criticizing the behavior and beliefs of other leftists, but ultimately, Vonnegut and Orwell are two very different kinds of satirists and, for me, Vonnegut always prioritizes the human element of the satire over the ideological element that’s so central to Orwell’s everything ever. Like, neither of them is completely without any grounding in the other’s Big Deal thing, but they still have their preferences, and Orwell’s more about the ideas, to me)

—but “Harrison Bergeron” was still so far out there from anything else I’d ever read before it, and everything else I’ve ever read from Vonnegut continued rocking my world by just going off in his own weird little Kurt Vonnegut direction where he was gonna do his thing and you were just along for the ride. It was so much fun, and completely engaging even if I didn’t always feel like I got it, and I love this about him.

That said, though? The biggest impact that Vonnegut’s had on me is that he showed me that you can write satire without losing all of your compassion or your respect for the human element, which is so fucking important to me, because so many people conflate, “satire” with, “being an asshole”

—like, so many people take, “satire” as carte blanche to be a dickbag to people because they think they’re in the right about whatever’s on their mind, even if they’re trying to satirize people who are in positions of power like Jane Austen allegedly did

(granted, I don’t buy that version of the story with her, but in fairness, that’s because based on what I’ve read of her work, I think Jane Austen was a bitter, self-righteous snob who had no friends and that her so-called, “satire” was really just her being all, “Ugh, these loser preps are so jealous of me but I can’t help it that I’m better than they are” and having literary temper tantrums over the fact that no one wanted to spend more than a few minutes with her because she was a complete asshole who looked down her nose at fucking EVERYBODY)

(I mean, I already stanned for all of the Brontës before I learned that Charlotte had an EPIC hate-on for Jane Austen, but I started stanning for her harder when I first learned the story about how she refused to take on some collaborative project with Jane Austen that someone suggested she do, because based on reading some of Austen’s work, she felt that Austen didn’t have a single ounce of human compassion in her entire withered soul and thought that Jane Austen had more in common with the people who abused Charlotte, her sisters, and their brother Branwell, than with Charlotte herself — but that being said)

Anyway, my point is that Vonnegut is a satirist with a soul, and that’s what I want to be, too. More fabulous and gayer than he was, but still.

3. Terry Pratchett — on a personal note about why I love him, no other writer can make me smile as reliably as the late Sir Terry. Like, if it’s true that Gaiman did most of the heavy-lifting with the plot for Good Omens while Sir Terry did most of the joke-writing, then…… I’m okay with that, really? And it makes sense? Like, Good Omens was the first thing that I ever read by either of them, and its voice has much more in common with Sir Terry’s usual writing than with Neil’s

—but regardless of which of them did what more than whom, Good Omens had a huge effect on my developing sense of humor when I found it at an airport bookstore in middle school, and it was my first real, serious introduction to the idea that you could write a story with all kinds of angels and demons and magic and weird supernatural hijinks that didn’t have to be relegated to the Children’s Lit shelf like HP and Narnia (though Narnia was at least taken seriously when I was a kid, and HP was only taken seriously insofar as people could call it a literally Satanic corrupting influence blah blah whatever bogus arguments they pulled out of their asses), or unrelentingly Serious About All The Things Ever (like Narnia and LOTR)

or such nauseating Christian propaganda that it makes you want to stab CS Lewis’s corpse with a rusty fucking spork (like…… well. Narnia. Which is hilarious because Good Omens literally incorporates elements from the Book of Revelation, and a smattering of stuff from everywhere else in the Bible, while Narnia has a White Witch and a talking Jesus lion and a satyr, and yet, the one whose main characters are an angel, his demonic boyfriend, and the Antichrist is NOT the Christian propaganda here)

Moreover, Sir Terry is such a good example of a writer who grew in quality and also realized when he’d done Less Than Cool things that didn’t actually live up to his philosophical ideals, so he constantly tried to do better with his work. I respect the shit out of that, and I want to be like that as a writer, too.

Also:

That’s the shirt that he wore to conventions: “Tolkien’s Dead. / JK Rowling said no. / Philip Pullman couldn’t make it. / Hi, I’m Terry Pratchett.”

Great shirt, or GREATEST shirt.

Honorable Mentions: Sylvia Plath (because I was a completely cliché white theatre kid goth chick in high school and Sylvia Plath gave me hope that I, too, could write angry, angsty stuff that didn’t have to be all HOOM BAM MACHO like Jack Kerouac and have an audience)

August Strindberg (completely rocked my shit when we read The Ghost Sonata in the Theatre History and Histrionics class I took in my first year of undergrad, because, like Vonnegut, it was totally out-there and so unlike anything else that I’d ever read before. He’s just such a little weirdo and I love it)

John Waters (honorable mention because he’s not an author in the traditional sense exactly, but he’s a content creator and he does write the screenplays for his movies, and he’s gay and weird and a proud freak who’s all about that camp trash #aesthetic and about being gay and weird and freaky, and damn everyone who wants to make you fit in with their arbitrary standards when you’re not hurting anybody, and that’s all Very Important to me, on a personal level and on an Artistic Integrity Feels level)

and Jeffrey Eugenides (I don’t love him quite as much as I used to, back in high school — a lot of the cooling on him started when I learned that he’s straight, when I’d spent most of my adolescence thinking he had to be LGBTIQ, but that then led to an appreciation of some of the other glaring Issues in his books

like how he sort of plays at calling out southeast Michigan’s history of racism and especially of antiblackness in Middlesex, but ultimately ends up replicating it more than he actually calls it out, not to mention how the whole book is really Not Good about it deals with intersex conditions and how it represents intersex people, and it’s really heteronormative in a few ways that are now incredibly frustrating for me because I see them in clearer ways than I did in high school

—but I can’t deny two things: 1. Middlesex and The Virgin Suicides had huge effects on the process of me finding my own voice as a writer, and they both kept me alive in high school, more than once; and 2. Jeff was an inspiration because he’s from the Metro Detroit area, too, and I was totally sure for so long that nobody from ‘round here could really Make It as an author or accomplish anything for ourselves as writers.

Like, I wholeheartedly believed that I was probably doomed because I wasn’t from Somewhere Cool, like JKR, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, or [insert any of the authors I ever had heart-eyes for entirely because They Were From New York!!! That Means They Are A Serious Writer!!!!] — but then along came Jeffrey Eugenides.

I discovered him completely by accident, because the Sofia Coppola movie version of TVS was on TV, and then I found out it was a book and had to read it… and then I found out that he was actually from the Metro Detroit area, and it was just? Whatever issues I have with him or his work, finding out that he was from ‘round here too was A Big Deal to me because !!!!! it meant that I wasn’t totally doomed to never have a future as an actual facts writer because I’m from Michigan instead of from Somewhere Cool)

17. favorite AU to write

ohhhhh man, hard question, because I like most of them.

Well, I mean. I like “correcting canon,” to borrow a term from @addictsitter — but tbh, I get so married to some of those ideas that I easily forget, until I’m called upon to explain it to someone else, that: Scott McCall isn’t canonically autistic and bisexual; Barty Crouch Jr.’s mother is not called, “Demeter” by anyone but me (but much like Braeden’s last name being Tandy because…… Meaghan’s last name flowed really nicely with Braeden’s, and Chris’s boyfriend being named Thierry Kensinger because I googled, “most popular baby names switzerland 1985” and, “most common surnames switzerland” and put together a name that I liked for him, I intend to just treat, “Demeter Lysistrata Gamp Crouch” as if it’s actual canon until everyone agrees with me); and all of my feels about [pick a character]’s gender identity, sexuality, neurodivergence, etc.…… are not necessarily shared by other people until I share them, oops

I like taking the, “non-magical/supernatural/ridiculously traumatic in ways that exceed average human capacity” AU setup for all of my fantasy, sci-fi, horror, Gothic, super-powered, or otherwise speculative fandoms…… and then finding ways to translate the supernatural parts into non-supernatural terms. Like, way back in the SPN fandom, my go-to was that Castiel isn’t so out-of-touch with people because he’s an angel; it’s because he’s autistic.

In Teen Wolf land: well, the Hales are generally not all dead, for one thing, because they’re not werewolves so the Argents had no reason to kill them, and Peter deciding to stalk and abuse Scott and Lydia has no magical components to it, he’s just a fucking creeper who preys on and probably assaults teenagers, possibly while he’s dating their mothers (since he’s canonically hit on both Melissa and Natalie, and went out with Melissa that one time in s1).

Then, Jackson’s kanima plot from s2 can be translated into non-magic terms as, for an example, Matt murdering the swim team on his own and dragging Jackson into it after Jackson witnesses one of the murders (I usually move Tucker the Mechanic to earlier and have Jackson be the accidental witness to his murder instead of Stiles), and instead of there being magical mind control murder lizard hijinks, Matt abuses and manipulates Jackson non-magically, Jackson falls harder into his fledgling drinking problem that came up a couple times back in s1 but was never mentioned again, and it’s Bad before Matt eventually gets caught and sent to prison. Even helping send him to prison with a promise of immunity in exchange for his testimony, Jackson doesn’t tell the whole story — not even to Danny — because there’s a lot of it that he’s trying to block out, or that he isn’t really ready or able to fully understand himself.

Or like in the Marvel theatre kids AU that I play around in sometimes, uh. Frankly, trying to make Thor and Loki into humans is kind of an enormous dumpster fire (a dumpster fire that I’ve enjoyed working on, personally, but still: dumpster fire) — also, for the link: cw for death, murder, kidnapping, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, (mostly inexplicit) references to torture and ethnically-motivated hate crimes, discussion of war crimes (more inexplicit than not but still), and hardcore douchebag!Odin (as in, he is the one perpetuating most of these war crimes, that is what I mean when I say, “douchebag Odin”)

But, uh. The characters who are not Norse gods are easier to put into non-spandexed terms — like, Bucky’s “winter soldier” plot involves emotional and psychiatric abuse; Sam hasn’t been in the military yet because he is in high school but his wing-man Riley died in a freak accident at Jr. ROTC summer camp; Pietro and Wanda are Erik’s cousins instead of his kids because otherwise I couldn’t have all three of them, and anyway, he’s ridiculously overprotective of them and will probably hurt you if you touch them; Nick Fury is the much beleaguered director of the theatre club, who is trying to (more or less) single-handedly save the entire fine arts department;

and Wade Wilson isn’t on drugs, he’s just like that naturally (“like that” here having the meaning of any number of possible ridiculous things but right now, let’s go with, “following Logan Howlett: Professor of Art™ around the mall on Saturday, narrating the entire thing like an episode of Crocodile Hunter, and dragging Peter Parker with him because Peter actually answered his phone when Wade called him at Too Early On A Saturday O’Clock and he has no idea why they’re doing this, but okay”)

And I was going to be sad because it’s 3:15 AM now and I didn’t feel like I had the energy left to talk about one completely ridiculous Star Wars AU in detail — but I remembered that I actually had a post about it a while back!

Short version: It’s seriously Keeping Up With The Skywalkers, just. Not rich and famous or anything. Also, no one is dead. Except Palpatine, probably. Anakin is a late-in-life closet bisexual who is doing his best to ignore this la la la, Padmé figured out that she was a lesbian after being with him for a while and is now married to Ahsoka — his ex-foster sister — instead, Obi-Wan was their friend in college and he and Anakin had A Thing before someone (Anakin) fell in with a really shitty homophobic pastor-local politician-crime lord who manipulated him (Palpatine) and a messy as fuck break-up ensued and Anakin has been trying to jump in Denial River ever since

(not that Obi-Wan can judge: he became Luke’s mentor when Luke was in college, knows that “Skywalker” isn’t a very common name and that Anakin and Padmé named their son, “Luke,” and he still totally glossed over how he, uh. Knew Anakin a few times over by calling him by his weirdo religious-political-mafia nickname, Darth Vader, in all the stories he told Luke, lol um, whoops?)

Luke is a soft gay activist but Leia is a hard bi activist who’s better at activist work that is more easily understood as activisty while Luke is better at stuff like community building and housing LGBTIQ kids who need places to stay in his spare rooms, Han is married to Leia but probably also kinda married to Lando in Canada (they were drunk, it’s complicated, but Lando is accepted as Basically Family by pretty much everyone. Anakin calls him, “the son-in-law I should have had” when he’s in a pissy mood with Han, which happens often), Chewie is Han’s incredibly hirsute old friend who has no sense of volume control (no one knows why his nickname is, “Chewbacca,” but Han insists that the story doesn’t make sense if you weren’t there), and the Falcon is an old van that’s constantly held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and luck

KyBen is constantly getting in trouble for being a bullying little shit to Poe and Finn on the playground (which is coming out of a lot of things, like, “Ben hates them for being more popular than he is,” and, “Ben hates them for being better at school than he is,” and, “Ben hates Finn specifically because wtf no, how dare you be so charming and make Poe Dameron smile like he likes you, this isn’t fair, Ben was like SO CLOSE to figuring out how to make Poe like him [not really], he’s going to go listen to a metal cover of, ‘You Belong With Me’ in his room and throw things, fuck everybody, he hates this town and this school and his family UGH IT’S NOT A PHASE DAD”)

Poe and Finn really just want that annoying Ben kid to leave them alone already like what is his deal, Hux and Phasma don’t like KyBen either (they just got stuck with him on hall monitor rotations and have to keep him from breaking people’s faces or else it will reflect badly on them), and Rey is a plucky, somewhat abrasive new girl who warms up really quickly if you’re genuinely nice to her and one time beat up Phasma to get her off of Finn because Finn was nice to her so Rey decided that they should be friends. Rey just moved to town with her adoptive dad

Obi-Wan is her adoptive dad

Anakin has the face-crack of the century

and Luke doesn’t want to detract from how hard this is for you, Dad, but is SUPER NOT IMPRESSED WITH EITHER OF YOU for totally failing to mention that you knew each other like???? WHAT. Fuck this, he’s gonna go to Tosche Station and then go have dinner at Mom’s with her and Aunt Ahsoka, this is bullshit

(Luke storms out of his own house, leaving Anakin and one of the kids who’s staying in one of the spare rooms standing in the kitchen super-awkwardly)

(update: it is 3:36 AM now, and I’m still doing better than expected, given how far off the point I’ve wandered here)

19. favorite fandom to write

Uh. Good question.

Cop-out answer that has a basis in fact: right now, my favorite fandom to write technically doesn’t entirely exist yet because I’m still making it up and the fandom won’t be A Thing until the novel’s actually done and people can read it. (And it’s not guaranteed to be A Thing but I’d really like it if I ever got to have a fandom based around something I wrote with my OCs. Like, even all of #The Discourse™, while probably incredibly frustrating on several levels, would be so flattering and I’d be beside myself because ksdfgkfgherb????!!!?! people??? liked??? this thing i wrote???!!!?!!?! enough to make a fandom?????!!!!!!!?!!!! *as yet hypothetical pterodactyl screech!!!!*)

Attempt at an actual answer: Right now, I’m sort of between fandoms a bit. HP is always my good go-to, because there’s always something to do there and even if Sailor Moon was technically here first, HP was my first fandom where I was really actively involved, in more ways than just going, “Huh, what does, ‘mpreg’ mean?” and clicking on that one NC-17 Aragorn/Legolas fic that abruptly shoved tiny eleven-year-old Kassie into the deep end of what goes on in fandom.

(Though in all due fairness, the first fanfic I ever posted online was some crack-ass HP/Sailor Moon crossover with a totally overpowered and inexplicably American Mary Sue self-insert OC. I was coming up on twelve, probably lying on my profile on that site and saying I was 13, and bless the person who took the time to leave a review going, “Hey, I know you’re young and this is a first effort on your part, but you show a lot of imagination here and that’s worth nurturing. BUT you’re not going to get much of anywhere if you don’t work on it and here are a few sources where you can start looking for help at developing characters better. I mean this to help you, so please don’t stop writing or having fun with it. But you can learn to do better, too.”

And then I asked for a copy of Nancy Kress’s book, Dynamic Characters, for my birthday, my parents found it at Borders, and the rest was history.)

(nb: this should definitely be read as me reccing that book. It’s not a perfect guide by any means, but it’s still one of my go-to’s for help with writing and inspiration for character development, and it’s a very solid, reliable resource. Like, I love it so much that I taped and glued my first copy back together about three times because it wore out from how much I read it and how I carried it almost everywhere, and then made buying a new copy a priority when I couldn’t put the old one back together anymore. but anyway.)

So, yeah. HP is my good go-to, and idk, I kind of want to try writing more than headcanons in the YOI fandom, buuuuut I’m not entirely sure where to start with that just yet — or where I want to start, aside from, “No matter what the actual main subject is, it will probably involve Chris doing IDEK what, something ridiculous probably” — and……

Well, the cop-out answer has a basis in fact? My original novel’s been getting most of my writing time and attention lately, so there’s that?