#i’m almost 21 i feel so embarrassed sobbing in public

[pandamugger]

I hate the word autistic meltdown, it makes me feel like i’m describing a toddler but it’s the only way i know how to describe my experience and behavior :/

[lillupon]

AEV Deleted scene(s) immediately following the events of chapter 21 + commentary

I fiddled with the idea of giving AEV minwon a long talk followed by a smutty ending, but I ultimately decided to scrap it. Their relationship is too complex to neatly tie up all the loose ends within a chapter, or even two. Attempting to do so would just needlessly drag out the fic; it’s really material for a sequel. Mingyu and Wonwoo have been apart for many years. During their separation, they’ve grown and changed as individuals, and they will need time to re-learn each other. There are many insecurities regarding age and experience to address, and they will have to reconcile who they were with who they have become. There’s a lot they need to unpack before they get back together and I don’t want to write that lmao (ah… the real reason appears… it’s too much work and I’m tired ;w; writing longfic is hard). Anyway, I think the end of chapter 21 was an appropriate place to close.

In the bonus below, they fall quickly in to bed together because I was being self-indulgent. But I’m not really sure if it makes sense for them to pick up right where they left off and bang in the car. At the same time, they’ve never been able to keep their hands off each other, so… I dunno! If you like the idea of them fucking, you can accept it as canon. If you like the idea of them taking their time, talking things through, that works too.

I will leave it up to your imagination <:

What happens next...

They kiss! Right there, in public, where anyone could walk by and see them. Because it doesn't matter now—they're both adults. Mingyu is no longer his student, hasn’t been for five years.

The kiss starts chaste at first: two people who have been separated for years, unsure of how they will fit together. Their mouths meet, Wonwoo's lower lip slotting between Mingyu's. For a brief moment, they part. And then they're kissing again, and each time, their kisses grow longer and deeper. Mingyu cups Wonwoo's neck in his palms, hands sliding back to tangle into short locks. A firm yet gentle grip tilts Wonwoo's head. Wonwoo moans, and it flips the switch on everything. 

Mingyu's tongue delves into his mouth. His body awakens under Mingyu's touch, fire surging in his veins and arousal roiling between his legs. They're in public, but Wonwoo can't help himself: the first dribble of slick leaks free. He can tell the exact moment Mingyu catches scent of it. A growl rips through Mingyu's chest; Wonwoo can feel the vibrations of it. 

They don't even make it as far as his apartment. Mingyu slides into the backseat of his car, Wonwoo slipping in after him. It's reminiscent of all those years they had sex in a Walmart parking lot. Except this time, Wonwoo is the one who initiates. He's the one who presses Mingyu against the angle of the seat and door. He makes himself at home between Mingyu's legs and kisses him with all the hunger and passion that he has tamped down for years. 

Meanwhile, he's fumbling with Mingyu's belt. The heel of his palm bumps against Mingyu's straining erection. Finally, he works the belt free. Pops open the button. Yanks down the zipper. He jams his hand down the front of Mingyu's pants, both of them breaking the kiss to moan. The burning hot and solid heft of Mingyu's cock feels so good in his hands. It's even better in his mouth. 

Wonwoo wastes no time closing his lips around the head of Mingyu's cock, moaning as the salty taste of precum bursts across his palate. He kisses and licks and slurps, drinking up the ambrosial liquid bubbling up at the slit. And then he swallows as much of Mingyu's cock as he can down his throat. Above him, Mingyu groans, hands flying to Wonwoo's hair and hips jerking. There's a thunk as his head falls back against the window. What Wonwoo can't fit into his mouth, he curls his fingers around. Sheathing his teeth, Wonwoo begins to bob his head up and down. Every time he rises, he swirls his tongue around the head of Mingyu's cock. 

Mingyu is barely restrained energy beneath him: his stomach is taut as a drum. The muscles of his thighs flex and release and shake with tension. Mingyu plays with the short hairs at the nape of Wonwoo's neck, low murmurs of praise punctuated by groans when Wonwoo sucks and licks him just right. 

Wonwoo is high with the knowledge that he is bringing his alpha this much pleasure. His head is blissfully empty of everything except for the sound of Mingyu's moans and the stretch of his mouth around Mingyu's cock. 

"Fuck, I'm close," Mingyu grits out. Wonwoo responds by stuffing Mingyu's cock down his throat. Mingyu's hand on his hair tightens, keeping him in place. Tears spring to Wonwoo's eyes. Mingyu's shaft goes rigid on his tongue and then begins to pulse hot and thick spurts of come down his throat. 

Wonwoo, moaning, swallows and swallows. There's so much of it. It spills out the corners of his mouth. Under his hands, Mingyu's hips spasm, and all of it is so hot that Wonwoo can't help himself. Without a single touch to his cock or hole, he begins to come, making a mess of his briefs. Wonwoo pulls off Mingyu's cock with a wet pop, cleans it up with laps of his tongue. Doesn't let a drop of come go to waste. 

Mingyu groans. “God, how are you this fucking per—" He cuts himself off and hauls Wonwoo up by the collar and kisses him, hard. 

They make it back to Wonwoo's apartment, the edge of their hunger slaked just enough to make the commute. Mingyu can't keep his hands off him. Kissing and mouthing at Wonwoo's neck and jawline and generally being very distracting, as Wonwoo fumbles for his keys. He's not in heat, but it sure as hell feels like it. At this point, his hole is so ready to be filled that it hurts. Slick drips down his inner thighs. Wonwoo wants to cry, he's so frustrated by his stupid door. Mingyu's making the task even harder by setting a proprietary on his ass, finger slipping between his asscheeks to rub at his clothed hole. Mingyu's grinding softly on him; Wonwoo can feel the hard ridge of Mingyu's erection on his hip.

Mingyu lays him down on bed and undresses him. Tugs down his trousers and finds out that Wonwoo has soiled his pants. "When did this happen, hm?" 

Wonwoo, embarrassed, throws a forearm across his eyes. “While I was sucking you," he mumbles. 

It isn’t long before Mingyu is pumping three fingers in and out of Wonwoo's ass. His other hand plays carelessly with Wonwoo's cock.

Mingyu still knows exactly how to touch him, how to make him squirm. His hips swivel of their own accord, bearing down on the fingers inside him. 

Wonwoo is lying on his stomach, a pillow beneath his hips, when Mingyu slides into him. Wonwoo reaches behind him to grab Mingyu’s ass, forcing him closer, urging him to go deeper. 

"So good," Wonwoo moans, voice thick with pleasure. He needs to know: "Is it good for you too?" The words are stuttered, punched out of him with each thrust.

Mingyu drapes himself over Wonwoo's back, planting a forearm by his head so he doesn't completely smother Wonwoo beneath his weight, but Wonwoo wants to be smothered. Mingyu drops a kiss on his shoulder. "Yeah," Mingyu breathes. "S'good for me too. You feel so good."

Their first fuck is hard and fast and exactly what Wonwoo needs. Mingyu ends up hauling Wonwoo up onto his hands and knees to better pound him. He digs his fingers into Wonwoo’s waist, pulling Wonwoo onto his cock every time he plunges inside.

It isn’t until their next round that they slow down. Mingyu lies atop him like a heavy blanket, his groans and ragged breathing hot against Wonwoo’s ear. He fucks Wonwoo with slow and deep rolls of the hips. Under him, Wonwoo has fallen apart into a moaning mess. 

His whole world narrows down to the place where they are connected. He swears he can feel it, the pounding of Mingyu’s heart against his back, the way his own heart beats in resonance. He can’t believe how good it feels to have Mingyu inside him, around him. It’s overwhelming. Wonwoo’s eyes go hot with tears. He buries his face into the sheets below. The next moan that leaves him almost sounds like a sob. 

Mingyu stops moving. Nuzzles against the nape of Wonwoo’s neck. “Hey, are you okay?”

Wonwoo nods. Doesn’t trust his voice. 

“Wonwoo?” Mingyu tries again. 

Wonwoo exhales shakily. “I’m okay. It’s just a lot. But in a good way.”

Mingyu hums an unconvinced noise.

“It’s good, I promise. Oh, god—please don’t stop…” 

Afterwards, they lie curled on their sides, pressed chest-to-back. Mingyu’s knot is lodged inside him. 

“I swear,” Mingyu says, nuzzling his neck, “I just wanted to talk to you, but you are irresistible.”

Everyone can smell it on Wonwoo when he goes to work the next day: an alpha's claim. No one mentions it because as teachers, they are nothing if not tactful. But Wonwoo catches the subtle flaring of their nostrils as they detect a new scent on him. Some of the nosier teachers even watch him as he limps down the hallways, wrecked by Mingyu's knot. 

They get their honeymoon. Mingyu fucks him over every available surface in his apartment: in the shower, over kitchen counters, up against a wall, over the back of a couch. Mingyu even holds Wonwoo suspended in the air as he fucks him, Wonwoo's legs wrapped around his waist. The position has Mingyu's cock reaching deep, and the display of alpha strength has an orgasm shaking out of Wonwoo within minutes. 

But as amazing as the sex is, what Wonwoo loves the most is the aftermath: Mingyu holding him and kissing him softly. Wiping him down with a washcloth and then carrying him to the bathroom. Mingyu prepares for them a post-sex meal. Even feeds him.

They spend a lazy Sunday afternoon together. Wonwoo's belly is pleasantly full from the lunch Mingyu had made: soy-glazed pork belly and stir-fried vegetables on rice. 

They're lounging on the couch, Wonwoo curled up against the arm of the sofa with a book in hand. Mingyu has fallen into a food coma and is using Wonwoo's lap as a pillow. Mingyu isn't even doing anything—blissfully asleep—and he is still distracting. Wonwoo has read the same sentence in his novel twenty times. 

With a sigh, he tucks a bookmark between the pages and lightly tosses the book onto the coffee table. He gazes at Mingyu, eyes following the straight slope of Mingyu's nose down to his lips. The years have been kind to Mingyu, turning him from a boyishly charming kid to a devastatingly handsome man. He is truly the alpha of Wonwoo's dreams, and Wonwoo thinks, with a thrill of excitement-fear-anticipation, that he might be able to fall in love with Mingyu, if he hasn't already.

[thirsty-x1]

Crush On U | Han Seungwoo

Request:

crush on u is one of my favorite songs !!!! like..... it’s just so good. do you think you could write a smutty / angst sort of thing with seungwoo inspired by it??? i sorta get secret idol relationship from it but that’s just me !! it’s upto you ofc but i’d love to read that ⭐️🥺

↬ Pairing: Seungwoo x fem!reader

↬ Genre: Smut, slight Angst, Fluff, it has all of it

↬ Warnings: explicit language, oral sex, unprotected sex.

↬ Word Count: 2.7k

↬ A/N: please, I beg of you, listen to Crush On U before reading this story. This song was literally written and produced by Seungwoo in 2017 and he dedicated it to Alices. If you read the lyrics, you will notice he is a little teasing shit. I love him.

It wasn’t unusual for you to stare at the screen, smiling at the soft expressions your boyfriend made, answering now and then despite knowing that he couldn’t hear you anyway. You had grown used to it at some point: the cancelled dates, the abruptly ended phone calls, and the lack of messages. Sleeping alone wasn’t something that made you uncomfortable anymore, but there were small things that you couldn’t change. Somehow, you always ended up buying more food than necessary, or setting up the table for two, or playing a movie and turning around to make a comment to the unfilled seat beside you, or knocking on the studio door to ask something before realizing that there wasn’t going to be any reply. It saddened you, but there was nothing that Seungwoo could do to avoid it, either.

Touring, fan meetings, promoting, dance practice, vocal training, song writing, exercising… It was his dream and he was making it become a reality. You loved seeing his expression whenever they got recognized, or watching the fan cams and notice how much he really enjoyed being on the stage. Despite all that, your heart clenched whenever you realized that you weren’t by his side to celebrate his birthday, or his achievements, or any kind of holiday. All you could do was to smile whenever he got the opportunity to video call you, telling you about his whole day, and you had to hide your emotions in order to not make him feel guilty. Because you knew that he would end up blaming himself, even if both were aware of the situation.

Another of his videos started playing, this time a compilation of sweet interactions with his fans, and you melted. He was always so good, not just with you but with everyone surrounding him, and that was probably what you loved the most. Humble, kind, considerate… Those were mere words that couldn’t even start to describe how amazing Seungwoo really was. Up to this point, you had managed to control your jealousy and fear, but the insecurity kicked in every now and then, after all you still were human and couldn’t really help it.

A rush of loneliness washed over your body and you stopped the video, the still image of his gentle eyes almost bringing tears to your own. Sighing, you turned off the phone and started to walk towards the bedroom when a notification popped up, the bright screen distracting you for a bit.

Seungwoo ♥:

21:56 Open up, I have something to show you.

You quirked an eyebrow. Did he mean he had sent you a link or something? There weren’t any other messages though. After a few seconds, noticing that you didn’t reply, he sent another text.

Seungwoo ♥:

21:58 I meant the door. Open the door. I’m waiting.

The beating of your heart suddenly shoot up, an incessant ringing in your ears as you tried to process the words quickly. You read the message over and over again, as if to find something that indicated it was off. Were you asleep? The soft knocking on the door caught your attention and you ran towards it, not even thinking anymore as your hands fidgeted with the keys in hand, making it hard to open it, a tall figure completely covered coming into view. You could recognize it immediately: the scent, the bangs that covered his eyes under the black cap, the soft eyes that stared right back at you over the mask covering half of his face, his broad shoulders… Your arms were around him in a second, your face burying in his chest. He stumbled backwards, giggling as he held you closer, the air escaping your lungs in the tightest embrace ever.

“How are you here? I thought…”

“I haven’t seen you in months. You got even prettier, somehow.” You slapped his arm, knowing pretty well that you looked like a mess: hair tied up, wearing your old pajamas, bare faced. “I like you like this, I mean it.”

“Yes, well, I haven’t seen you all natural in a long time.” He laughed and took off the cap and the mask, showing his no-make up face and hair sticking out. “Not fair, even like this you look fucking gorgeous.”

As he laughed, you stepped aside to let him in, observing as he took off his jacket and left it on one of the chairs, sweat stains barely visible through his black shirt. You closed the door and stared at him incredulously, squinting your eyes and crossing your arms, his eyebrows shooting up when he finally realized your inquiring gaze.

“What?”

“Did you run here again?” He froze on the spot, giving himself away. “Last time you caught a cold because of that! Plus, you will get spotted easily, you aren’t really the kind of guy that goes unnoticed…”

While you kept nagging him, Seungwoo smiled and walked towards you, pinching your cheeks and stopping your blabbering before placing a kiss on your lips, shutting you up completely. Your whole face flushed a thousand colors, a mix of embarrassment and slight annoyance stirring up in your stomach as you controlled yourself and boop his nose lightly, although the touch denoted more.

“I couldn’t help it, the car is way too slow and I get anxious. Besides, they will always give me life lessons on the way.” You chuckled at his comment, giving up.

“You said you had something to show me, right? Your sole presence is enough but I’m still curious…” He brightened up at the mention of it and hurriedly grabbed his phone with one hand as the other took yours, pulling you to the sofa and making you sit on his lap.

“It’s a song… I-I made it. I want to show it to the agency and release it for the public.”

“Really? That’s amazing! Is it any of the ones that you showed me?” He shook his hand, biting his lip as he handed you the phone and snuggled his face on your shoulder.

“Just– Listen to it. I want you to be the first one to listen to it.”

Your chest filled with warmth as you pressed play, the beat being quite groovy. The lyrics didn’t take much time to come and they made your heart jump. Half of the song in, you could sense the knot in your throat and your sight getting blurry. The song drifted to the end, replaying and Seungwoo finally stopped hiding, wondering why you hadn’t said anything, eyes going wide when he saw the trails of tears run down your cheeks. He dried them with the sleeve of his shirt, no words coming out while he did it, not sure of what could he even say.

“I really liked it… I loved it so much.” Your voice broke while you were speaking and he took a deep breath, caressing your hair as you finally started sobbing loudly. “I’m sorry, I don’t… I can’t…”

“Shhh, I know. I know.” He cooed at you, softly swaying your body. “I love you, I really do. I know it’s not the best thing, but I swear I was completely sincere.” His words only made you cry even more.

“I love you too.” You started to recover, facing him. “I m-missed you so much…” He couldn’t help but to giggle at the small pout you were making, your swollen face looking way too adorable in his eyes.

He kept hugging you, waiting for you to stop, although he had to admit that he was also holding back his tears. When he noticed you had stopped crying and now were simply laying against his body, completely still, he realized that there was something else.

“You seem to be in deep thought.” You blinked a few times at his remark.

“Ah, yeah, well… You know… The lyrics are wonderful but the beat…” His expression turned serious, ready to take any criticism. “Isn’t it too suggestive?” Evidently, you had taken him by surprise.

“S-Suggestive?”

“Yes, like… The ‘babygirl’, the almost-moans, the feeling… It seems almost erotic.” He was pressing his lips, trying to not laugh at your furrowed brows. “I’m not sure I want everyone to hear you like this.”

Seungwoo chuckled again, running his nose on the side of your neck, sending chills down your spine as his hand started touching your thigh delicately. You could feel his hot breath against your skin, tickling your nape, his mouth close to your ear as his fingers played with your hair, letting it loose.

“Then how about I let you hear me now? In the way that only you can make me sound.”

His whisper was innocent but the connotation behind his words was the most sinful thing ever. You shifted your body to straddle him, leaving his phone aside, the song still playing as you attached his lips to yours. Melting into the kiss, you felt him massaging the inside of your thighs, and he left a soft sigh as you started to grind against him. The temperature between both of your bodies started to raise, the gentle touch turning into a needier one with each kiss, his hands slipping past the band of your pajamas and grasping your ass.

Tired of the teasing, your fingers tangled in his hair, eliciting a whine from him. That was it. Those were the sounds that only you could hear, that he never showed to anyone but you. You smiled and kissed him again, swallowing his tiny whimpers, biting his bottom lip when you felt his hardness against you. Slowing down, you got off him and kneeled, wasting no time in pulling his erect member out and sucking him off. Usually you would have teased him, but all this time abstaining from each other had been enough. You bobbed your head, making sure to lubricate him enough and his hands came to grip your hair, moving the few strands of your hair and as you ran your tongue along the underside of his shaft, you couldn’t help but to notice that small detail.

“Is this what you meant when you said you fell in love seeing my hair tied up?” He was about to explain when you suddenly engulfed his swollen tip, causing him to throw his head back.

“F-Fuck… Maybe I did.” The view before him was way too erotic, and he thanked the heavens for having you.

Maybe you were feasting yourself a little too much because Seungwoo finally tugged on your hair and pulled you up, changing your positions in a swift motion, his hands already discarding of your clothes. However, after all that and unlike you, he took his time: his fingernails grazing over your skin, stimulating you slowly. He started placing soft kisses on your skin in the lightest way possible, the contact was brief but so sweet that you didn’t dare to ask him to hurry up. You felt like groaning in frustration when he moved the fabric of your underwear aside, the pad of his fingers rubbing on your folders, starting by the outer zone and then drifting to your middle, slipping in his middle and ring fingers as he teased your clit with his thumb. It was so loving, so devoted, and so eternal. The sensation started to become too much as he fingered you, his tongue lapping at your juices.

Just like he had done before, you gripped his hair, but even if you tried to stop him, that only seemed to motivate him even more. He became more passionate, his pace picking up as his eyes fixed on your expression, seeing you in complete bliss almost made him cum on the spot. As you started to tighten around him, he pressed up, smirking when he found your spot and you came unexpectedly. He got up, leaving you empty as he indicated you to open your mouth to suck on his fingers, keeping you busy with your own taste as he aligned and thrust into you, your moan muffled. It wasn’t long until his own sounds started to fill the air, sounding like music to your ears, the song playing for the trillion time as he fucked you to the rhythm. The overstimulation traveled through your body, your nails digging into his back through his shirt, and you had to hold back in order to not paint his whole neck with purple and red. As his hips faltered, he hid his face on the crook of your neck, burying himself deep inside of you each time, your second orgasm ripping through you almost at the same time as he started spilling into you, filling you in the most delicious way.

For a few minutes, he didn’t move, enjoying the closeness and the warmth that both of your bodies exchanged. Both of you hissed when he pulled out, and you couldn’t help but to chuckle as he panicked seeing his seed drip out of you, taking off his shirt as a last resource to try and not make a mess. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision, considering that the sight of his exposed chest and abdomen had you biting your lips, making him get startled and laugh at your reaction.

“Like what you see?” A dumbfounded smile spread on his face, complete innocence and dorkiness taking over in contrast to the hot mess he was just before.

“I have always liked what I see.”

Not too long after that, both were laying down, cuddling on the bed. Suddenly, all the lonely nights evaporated into nothing as you inhaled his scent, your hands drawing nothings on his exposed skin. Your fingers traced his tattoos, the line of his muscles, his jaw… All in the most deliberate way, as if you were trying to engrave every detail into your memory for when he went away again. His eyes tried to do the same, watching every expression you made, the sound of your voice, getting goosebumps at your thoughtful touch. His chest fluttered a little.

“You know… I really meant what I said on the song.” You nodded absent-mindedly. He shook his head, grabbing your chin lightly so you would look at him and focus. “I genuinely want to fill the rest of my future with you. I don’t feel like hiding this anymore.”

No sound left your mouth. Those were the exact words you wanted to hear since so long, but right now, there was something off. Even if he said that, you knew that next morning he wasn’t going to be by your side, nor the day after that. You knew that he wouldn’t be with you on the rainy days, or to hold you when you felt lonely. You also knew that it wasn’t easy to come out to the public, and that his career could get damaged from it. Yet you wanted that, you wanted him all to yourself, and you felt selfish for it.

“Even if I feel the same way, I think it’s better like this. At least for now. I’m happy to just be with you, and to see people love you like I do. You deserve this and I don’t want it to be taken away from you, what if you end up–”

“I won’t regret it.” He cut you off abruptly, sitting down in the bed and stared into your eyes. “I have more than just a crush on you. It’s so much more. Maybe it won’t last a life time, maybe it will, I can’t know that, but I do know that I want to live with you each day from now on.”

“Me too.” There was no use in fighting against him. You believed his words, but you couldn’t do that to him anyway. “The song… The song is enough for me. Each time I listen to it, I’ll remember you and your promises. Let’s make it our own, personal secret.”

“Fine.” He chuckled, surrendering to you. “I will make my huge crush on you public through the song.”

You were thankful that he took it in a good way, your body snuggling against you to enjoy what was left of the night in his tight embrace. Both stayed asleep, not thinking about what was going to happen the next day and just seizing the short moments you shared, making them undying.

I am: soft. I love his song so much so I really hope I made it some justice with this story ㅠㅅㅠ Please, go stream it because he deserves it so fucking much.

~Nani

unedited

[shawn-mendes-post]

Memories

A/N: Part 4. So sorry this may seem crappy. I have been busy, but I will write the next one soon. This is unedited, just warning you. Darker theme in this chapter.

Welcome back!  Shawn Mendes, 21, and (Y/N), 20, have been friends for a while. How did they maintain their friendship? 

Where to begin? We must start at the beginning that we could find. Little is known how it all started. 

There is a picture of the two dressed up for Halloween. Shawn,5, was dressed up as Prince Eric while (Y/N), 4, dressed up as Princess Ariel. I must say they are too cute together. 

On the Late Show with Jimmy Fallon, (Y/n), was a guest and was apart of True Confessions. She was playing with Pete Davidson and John Mulaney. She confessed she 'married' Shawn Mendes.  You read right; however, (ship name) is not legally married. There was a pretend wedding where they exchanged ring pops to complete the bind. We still have hope for the two to get legally married later on in life. 

Hopefully, we can get a hold of the video. 

Shawn Mendes told interviews about how the two would always spend Christmas with each other and have their traditions. He would not go into detail because he wanted to keep their traditions private. We can respect that because it seems special to them. 

Their friendship is strong, but it was not always like that. 

Their relationship took a toll when (Y/N)  started to get intimate with a guy. We could see how Shawn did not like the guy. It could have inspired the song, Treat You Better. Could there have been feeling for each other?  The song did come out around the time the romantic relationship was formed. The music video does show an abuse relationship between the female, played by (Y/N) herself, and the boyfriend.  Shawn did not confirm or deny the allegations when fans asked. 

Not much is known about what happened that improved their friendship or convince (Y/N) to drop everything and go on tour with him.  She would join him on his tour and pictures are shown how cozy the two were. 

It would begin the rumors of the two being more than friends. However, this year Shawn became romantically involved with Camila Cabello, cutting all other rumors. The long-time best friends stopped hanging out with each other. Shawn has become invested in his new relationship with Camila that he barely mentions ( Y/N). She, on the other hand, has such kind words when talking about him and understands he has other matters to attend to. 

Overall, what happened to these two? Will they ever become more than friends? Will they become friends again? Can we expect a collab for a new song? 

XOXO 

Dawnn S.

________________________________________

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, not understanding why the media cares about her relationship with Shawn. 

She remembers all the articles about Shawn and Camila kissing or making out in the open. Yes, it aggravated her, but she tried to make her happy for him. She hated the idea of being jealous. She never got to kiss Shawn in public where everyone could see.  

She remembers the awkwardness in the beginning when they would kiss each other that certain Christmas. 

Then she did something stupid and told him to forget it. She was scared their friendship would be ruined, and the fact her parents were against them being together. He would go on tour for months but kept in contact with her. 

She would later start a relationship with Tristan, not knowing it would be a horrible idea.  Bad memories filled her mind, making her wince at the bad times with him.

It was a new year, and that meant putting the past behind her. Memories of what happened Christmas break kept playing in her head as she makes her way to class. 

"Hey," she yelled, being bumped by someone. She turns, and her eyes meet the beautiful ocean eyes she ever saw. 

He smirks, " sorry," he mumbled, running a hand through his thick curls. 

A faint blush appeared on her cheeks, looking away from him as her heart beats fast. " Just watch it next time," she said, walking off, flipping her hair. She could feel his eyes digging a hole in her.  

A warm sensation grew in the pit of her belly, confusing her because she only felt like this with Shawn. 

It was not the last time she saw the mysterious boy. He would be in her classes sitting right in the back, not paying attention to the lecture. 

She had no idea why she never paid attention to him. Maybe because Shawn was with her all the time, but now he isn't. She sighs, biting her lower lip, daydreaming about the boy. 

Ring. Ring.

The bell startles her as she makes her way to the next class. However, she is stopped by the boy she was daydreaming about. 

" Want to go out?" He asked, straightforward. 

" W-what?" She asked, not believing what he asked. He smirked, knowing he caught her off guard. 

" I forgot to introduce myself. Tristan Kaspbrak. " 

" (Y/N)." 

" I saw you were staring at me during class, which must have been difficult since I sit in the back."  

( Y/N) eyes widen, blushing madly at the embarrassment he caught her. 

" I wa-wasnt. I was l-looking out the window," she said, crossing her arms. 

He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head at how cute she looked. 

" Fine, one date. Pick me up at 8. Don't be late," she mumbled walking away. 

" You never gave me your address," he yelled as she walks away. 

" Figure it out, Tristan."

***

She stood in front of the mirror, running her hands down her dress. She hoped he would find the place alright since she did not say where she lived.

She was wearing a sheer mesh and stripes keyhole front bodycon dress that showed off her curves. She waited for him to come, but he didn't.

It was 9 pm and nothing.

Another hour went by, and nothing. 

Sighing, she texted, Eddie, her friend, told her to come to a party. Deciding to go, after being stood up, she drives there.

Entering the house, music blasting, cheering her up a bit. She scanned the room, looking for Eddie, but she saw Tristan dancing with another girl. (Y/N) could not believe her eyes. He was supposed to pick her up, but here he is with another chick. She couldn't explain why it hurt her. She hardly knew him except for his name. 

________________________________________

Another Memory

The two enter his room after the date they were on. Tristan wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She could feel his body heat, the smell of alcohol on his breath. 

 He leans down trying to kiss her, but she shakes her head.

" No, you are drunk. Maybe later," she told him, pushing him away. He wouldn't stop his harassment.

The final push made him snap. Tristan was yelling at her, she was angry at herself. " Why would you do that?" 

She glanced at the floor, hugging herself, hoping he would not hit her. " I don't know." 

He grabs her angrily before throwing her on the bed. Her eyes widened in fear, her heart beating like a hummingbird. He glared at her before storming out, demanding her to stay there. 

________________________________________

Memory

He was giving her a ride home, but again he was drinking. He speeds up, not having a care in the world.

 " Tristan, slow down," she begged, not liking how fast he was going. 

" What did you say?" He asked, glaring at her, daring her to talk back at him. 

She stays silent, knowing not to say anything. Her lips open as she screams when he almost hits a pole.

He flings his hand, slapping her in the face. " Shut up. I can drive," he grumbled, stopping at her place.

She nods, knowing to listen to him. She was tired of his treatment. She wanted it over. She hated that she let him push her around. She leans to kiss his cheek, wincing at the pain before entering her home.

 Tears fall her face, wanting the world to end. She couldn't take the treatment anymore. Walking towards her room, she dials Shawn's number, hoping he answers. 

" Hello?" A groggy voice said. " Sh-Shawn?" She asked, holding back more tears for falling. 

" (Y/N), what's wrong?" He asked, getting up immediately, knowing something was wrong. 

" N-nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry to wake you," she said, tentatively.

 "It's okay. I had to wake up soon anyway. How are you?" 

She starts sobbing, scaring Shawn as he starts to frantically pack. " I'm so tired, Shawn. I can't deal with life anymore," she mumbled, walking towards her closet. 

" Shh, I'm here for you." He didn't like the sound of that. He was making his way to the airport, telling Andrew there was an emergency he had to take care of.

" I know you are, Shawn. I wish I went with you. I wouldn't be feeling this down. I just wanted to say, I love you, Shawn. Goodbye." 

" No! (Y/N) sta-" she hung up, knowing this would be better for her. She writes a note for Shawn before heading to the bathroom. Fear filled her veins as she comes to terms with what she has to do. 

She starts the water, grabbing a razor blade before starting to undress. She settled in the bathtub, closing her eyes, thinking about her life. 

________________________________________

Her phone rings, bring her out of her thoughts.  Her heart was breaking remembering the low time in her life. She wipes away the tears, she didn't even know were falling. 

She answers the phone, sniffling," hello?" 

" Hello, I am a part of the Late Late Show with James Corden. We contact your agent about you making a guest appearance. He said to talk to you." 

" Yes, I can do that. When would it be?" 

" More in December. We wanted to talk early because of how busy you are." 

She chuckled, knowing what they are talking about. " That is true. Just keep me posted, then I can make sure I am free that day. 

She sighs, deciding it was time for her to go out. She had a few hours before she had to go meet up with her Costar.  

It was a cool day in September, people were getting ready for the holidays coming up. She made a mental note to pick up some candy before going home.

***

Tom Holland was waiting for (Y/N) to come to the studio. They were filming their last scene together in the movie. 

" Hi," he said, seeing the actress/ singer, and become memorised by her beauty. 

" Nice to meet you," she said, offering her hand. He slips his own, feeling how soft her hand is. 

The two make their way to the studio, talking amongst themselves. Tom would glance at her from time to time throughout the recording because if how amazing she is. 

After the recording, Tom didn't want to go home. He wanted to spend more time with her, but she had disappeared. 

  Shawn was on tour, having the time of his life. He always felt alive singing in front of his fans because this was his passion. There was some sadness when he knew (Y/N) was not there supporting him. 

He almost dialed her number countless times, but he always stopped himself. Her words ringing in his head that made him stop. 

His family missed her too because they would always ask him what happened. He just said she needed space, and she will come back when she is ready. 

Fans were noticing as well. Some were asking personal questions about his friendship with (Y/N). He tried to change the subject since it was a painful topic.  

He didn't care what the media was writing because they didn't know the whole story. They didn't know the happy memories the two shared. The painful memories too that would scare anyone else. So yeah, he didn't care what they wrote. He knows he will always be there for her and vice versa. 

" Shawn, you are on in 10 minutes." 

Shawn looks up, noticing he was in the dressing room, getting ready for his performance. Nodding, he made his way to the stage, smiling brightly as if he was not sad. 

Taglist

@cosmicmndes

@disneyland02

@irespostthingsiwanttoseelater

@i-love-you-green

@the-diabolic

@champagnesugamama

[gemvictorfromtheponyverse]

Visits to the past chapter 21: Harry Sullivan

Summmary: The thirteenth Doctor travels around in time and meet up with old companions. In this chapter (nr.21) she meets up with Harry Sullivan.

If you dislike Harry, follow the AO3 link and there will be a fanfic with another 18 companions for you to read about instead!

AO3 link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11537943/chapters/31754157

Tagged: @lesbiantwelve @lesbianchesterton @sciencefictionrenegade @7th-impossible-thing @spoonietimelordy @unitsoldier @unwillingadventurer

FANFIC ITSELF:

Harry Sullivan

“Excuse me, could I sit down here? All the other tables were full.” The Doctor smiled at the man who was sitting across from her, who smiled back politely.

“Of course you can, Miss.” The man’s eyes scanned the rest of the café, clearly taking notice of the several empty tables around them, but saying nothing. He was too polite to, The Doctor mused, just as her Harry oughta. Because sitting there in front of her was, in fact, her Harry.

Doctor Harry Sullivan, the inventor of the invisible vaccines, which no public person would know existed for another five decades. By the time it all came spilling out, they’d honor him and praise him.  By the year two thousand one hundred and fifty four, he’d be a prominent figure in human history. Children would read of him, and mourn him when they found out about his unfortunate end.

The words ‘unfortunate end’ passing through her head makes The Doctor want to cry. Her throat closes up and she struggles to breath as she does all she possibly can not to breakdown sobbing in front of her former companion.

“Miss, are you alright?” The Doctor feels a warm hand landing on top of her own,the sensation bringing her out of her thoughts. She swallows heavily, trying to blink away the few tears despite all having escaped as she looked up at Harry's face.

His eyes were compassionate, the small frown on his lip betraying his worry. Such a sweet man he was, worrying about a random stranger who'd suddenly sat down next to him at a restaurant. Of course, she wasn’t a complete stranger, but he didn’t know that. Not yet.

She smiled mischievously. “I am fine, thank you. However, would it seem terribly rude of me if I admitted that I didn’t seat myself here because the restaurant was full, but rather because I’d like not to be alone for once?” She lifted an eyebrow in question, and prayed he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

To her surprise, Harry laughed. It sounded almost like barking, and she associated it more with an excited puppy or young dog than a grown man. Nonetheless, it warmed her heart, making her think of how rare this moment was. Harry wasn’t a great laughter, and his ever-profesional core oftentimes keeping him from laughing much, it seemed, so to hear him bark at what he believed a stranger was impossibly rare.

The Doctor could not recall ever having heard him laugh like that in all the time he’d spent with ��his’ Doctor. Sarah Jane would laugh, certainly, but never Harry. He’d just smile and maybe respond with a witty comment, but not much more. The Doctor always  figured he hadn’t liked her and their travels very much, and was more there for Sarah Jane than anything else. But then again, who wasn’t? Who wasn’t there simply for the sweet, loving presence of Sarah Jane Smith?

“I’d say, Miss, you certainly got a good sense of humour. Of course I noticed the empty tables, but I figured there is no harm in some good company. “ Harry smiled, retracting his hand from hers, seemingly considering something as he absentmindedly chewed on his lip. “Say,have I met you before?  I get this notion that i’ve seen that face of yours before, but I can not place it!” Harry sigh, seemingly frustrated with his inability to place her, and The Doctor wondered if he could hear both her hearts skipping a beat each as he spoke.

She hadn’t meant to meet Harry again. Never. Not in any way, shape or form. Of all her companions, past and present, she just couldn’t handle the thought of Harry. She couldn’t handle the idea of seeing him again.

But then, she spotted him sitting there in the cafe, and she had felt been scared, but determined. She’d seen the date and year on the news paper earlier, and knew how little time he had left. If the Doctor ever wanted to face Harry, it had to be there and then.

She had a few hours at most, if it hadn’t  happened already. If he hadn’t gotten the call, calling him away on an undercover mission from which he’d never return.

Getting along with him is so much easier than she ever thought it would be, and when he asks if he knows her, she’s not sure if she should tell the truth.

Finally, she sigh, and smile. “Yes. You do know me. I tied you up with a skipping rope and hang you upside down in a closet. Somehow I don’t think you found it as funny as I did!” She explains, laughing as she go along. The Doctor didn’t know why she’d done it, but she’d been in the midst of post-regeneration madness, and at the time had seemed like a terrific idea. At least, that way he’d stopped being in her way. “Do you know who I am?” She leaned forward on her elbows, looking at Harry expectantly.

“No, I am afraid not.” He says kindly, smiling as always but clearly trying hard not to be condescending. “That description only matches one person I’ve ever known, and while he may be a man of many faces, he certainly is not you.”

The Doctor doesn’t even have it in her to be surprised. Of course Harry wouldn’t believe it was really her. Always so old-fashioned and practical, how would he understand that the gender boundaries was something that didn't actually exist? He wouldn't. He’d laugh her off and be done with it.

She wanted to leave. The Doctor wanted to stand up and walk out the door, never coming back. She wanted to run back to the TARDIS, cursing and screaming for days on end as she reminded herself why she promised to never come back for Harry Sullivan. Not ever, not in any of her lives. No.

And yet, she somehow didn’t. Tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to swallow, trying to decide what to do, but finally she decided to give him a chance. One chance to understand her. “It really is me, Harry. The Doctor. I’m...I’m a woman. But still The Doctor.” She’s terrified. She never got along well with Harry, not as well as with others, and if he stood up and walked out on her, she wouldn’t be surprised. “Came back for my imbecile, eventually.”

“Eventually was the word, Doctor.” Harry smiled, and The Doctor sighed. He believed her. The good navy Doctor thought she was The Doctor after all. “You know, I oughta punch you for what you did to Sarah, but somehow I don’t think she’d appreciate it.”

“She’d probably smack you back.” the Doctor agreed. She looked over at Harry, suddenly, violently Realising how much older he’d gotten. Grey hairs had started to spread through his sideburns and when he smiled small, almost invisible crows feet appeared. Still her Harry, but older. As old as he was ever going to be. The realization was sudden and overwhelming tears suddenly threatening in her eyes again. “Sarah Jane loves you, you know.” She offers him a watery smile, and she wonders if he’d ever believe her. She hopes so.

“Oh, come on now Doctor. We both know there was only ever one love for Sarah Jane, and that was…” Harry and The Doctor look each other in the eyes, tense as they waited for the end of the sentence, but then...they speak, both of them, at the same time and the same thing.

“You” They both say, matching it exactly. Realising they’d said the same thing, they blink, swallow and try to understand what happened.

“Now Doctor I really don’t think…” Harry is blushing, horribly embarrassed as he tried to process what happened and what The Doctor had said.

“No.” The Doctor wasn’t failing this time. This time, Harry was going to understand. She was going to keep repeating the same message until the moment that he was convinced. “Sarah Jane loved you. She always thought she loved me, but when she came back to Earth she came back to her senses. I promise you that she loves you!”

Hearing his words, Harry smile, but it's lopsided and his eyes are glassy and red rimmed. The Doctor has never seen Harry cry, and she doesn’t know what she will do if he does. “Guess we will never know, will we, Doctor? Sarah is stubborn old girl. I don’t...I don’t think she’ll ever say I love you to anyone. At least not to me, at any rate...even if it was true.” Tears glitter on his cheeks, and The Doctor realize the ever so strong Harry Sullivan has actually begun to cry. Breaking down at thought of the only woman he ever loved not reciprocating his feelings.

“I’m sorry” The Doctor says, reaching out to grab onto Harry’s hands and squeezing them. “That you will never know how much Sarah Jane truly loves you. That you will not believe me when I tell you this. Harry, Sarah Jane will never have the time and courage to say it to your face, but she loves you.” She is acutely aware that she is talking too much, saying too many things, but looking at the timelines she knows there is only so many things that she can change, only so much that can come from a few choice words on love.

Harry looked shocked, almost appalled, and The Doctor could tell he wanted to answer her, but lacked the words. Just as he gathered enough words to try, a waitress came running up to the table, asking for him and telling him that there was a call for him at the bar.

Giving The Doctor a single, weary look, Harry disappears inside. Following at the heels of the waitress, The Doctor soon watched his curly brown hair disappear among the crowds inside the restaurant.

He is, however, only gone for a few minutes before he comes running back to the table and The Doctor.

His face looks that of a ghost, his skin pale and eyes looking horrified when he turns to The Doctor. And as he turns to her, he lifts a finger and pointing accusingly. “You knew! You knew they were going to call!” He’s so angry that his hole body is shaking and he shouts far too loudly, but as the real gentleman he was, he still somehow manages to calmly sit down opposite The Doctor once more.

The Doctor looked away, not wanting to meet Harry’s accusing stare as he sat down. “I am from the future. Your future. I know more things than you’ll learn in a lifetime, and that’s limiting it to all that is in your future yet.” she glances over at him, and she sees that there’s an exhausted sort of sadness on his face, rather than anger.

“You know I am going to die.” He says frankly, and The Doctor flinch. Harry didn’t do sugar coating, not even concerning his own death. “You know I’m not coming back from the assignment UNIT just told me they want me to go on.”

“Harry you know I can’t…” She tries to dodge the question, but he grab on to her arm and force her to face him.

“No! You don’t that. I will die, and you will tell me that it is so.” His eyes are shining with rage, and The Doctor has never seen Harry acting the way he is now. It terrifies her, and she tries to pull back, but can not escape. “Tell me what happens to Sarah Jane when I am gone, Doctor” His voice trembles, and the rage is gone as soon as it came, tears appearing in its stead.

The Doctor sigh. A deep, abysmal sigh that empties her lungs completely. Then, she smiles. It’s bitter and her eyes are so dead that no one can believe that real happiness was behind it. “She cries. For days, she cries. Weeks even. And then she is lonely. So very, very lonely” She thinks of her, of Sarah Jane Smith’s face when she met her again in her tenth incarnation. The abandon and the hurt had been more than she would ever have expected. “But in the end, she gets back on her feet. She, adopt two children, and start a family.”

“Children” Tears a flowing freely down Harry’s cheeks, but it’s impossible to tell if it’s happiness or hurt as he laughed. “Sarah Jane thinks children are rubbery. Her words, not mine.”

“And yet she get two. A boy, Luke, and a girl, Sky.” The Doctor continues, smiling. Her hands creep across the table and she take Harry’s hands in her own. “I’m sorry I can’t change what happens to you. I’m sorry I can’t lift away all that grief…” The word catches in her throat, and suddenly The Doctor is struggling to breath. “You are brilliant, Harry.” Her voice cracks and her words are slurred by tears and emotions, but The Doctor need to say it, because Harry deserved it.

“Do I have to die, Doctor? Is there really nothing that can be done to avoid it?” Harry asks her, tears no longer swelling over and his voice strong and certain.

The Doctor doesn't answer, can’t find any words to answer with, and Harry singh, shaking his head.

“Sometimes, people must die. Horrible things must happen, for happiness to come further down the line. To be a sacrifice of Universe will never make you anything less than fantastic.” Finally finding words to speak, The Doctor grab on to Harry, pulling him close a kissing him on the forehead. When she was done, she let go, and ran.

She moved as fast as her feet would carry her, not bothering to suppress her tears of bpth hatred and joy as she disappeared out of Harry’s life.

The meeting has not gone the way she expected to. Simultaneously, it had gotten both better and worse than she expected. She had met him, and he had been fine with her.

But then her desperation had grown, and suddenly, she had told him that he was going to die. That he and Sarah Jane had so extremely little time together.

It had been a heavy, emotional conversation. She felt empty and exhausted from it all, but she was happy that she had gotten this one last chance to talk to the man that meant so much to her, and tell him just that.

Harry Sullivan may never get what he truly deserved, but The Doctor would be damned if she didn’t try.

If you like it, reblog and help a fanfic writer!

[yourfantasydays]

Heyyy , if you still take requests Can you do a one with mats hummels like something is about age gap ? But not in smuty way ? Like just cute and all ? Love your blog btw 💕💛

Hey Anon! Here it is! I am deeply sorry if there were some grammatical errors and the like //sobs But I hope you’d still like it♡ 

The Age Gap

Pairing: Mats Hummels x You

Genre: Fluff!

Word Count: 1.2k!

Summary: You were scared of going out on a public date with Mats because of the people who might say something awful about you. 

It was a Friday night and you were spending time with yourboyfriend for almost two months now, Mats. You were both lying on your bed,cuddling while watching a movie. You’ve been watching every genre of a movie thatinterests you for the whole time and it was always good time especially whenyou’re with him, wrapping your arms around each other. You both promised thatthis will be last movie for the night before you get rest.

Focusing your attention on every scene, he combed hisfingers along the fringes of your hair and holding your hand, smelling yourhair and resting his head on yours alternately while your head leaned on hischest. But with each time passes, you felt like falling asleep in his armsbecause of his warm touches on you.

“Babe.” He called your name softly.

“Hmm…” The only thing you could mutter since you werealready too sleepy.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“I’ll be busy for the whole day for our thesis,” youreplied. “Why?” Just a month from now and you were gonna graduate from college,you’ll be free from school and lead yourself to a new life as an real adult.

“I want to take you out on a date tomorrow.

“Date? Out?” Your sleepiness subsided, your eyes flickeredopen wide bringing all your full attention to him.

“Yeah, you know,” he stammered. “Like a public date. I wantus to have dinner in a restaurant that was just opened few weeks ago. Peoplesay the food there was amazing and that we should definitely try the steakthere.”

You hesitated. Mats Hummels was a football star, he waspopular, and he’s known anywhere. He had paparazzis, cameras and the wholemedia around him once he gets out. And this was, like, the bad idea of havinghim as your boyfriend when you were too young for him. You were 21, turning 22and Mats was 29.

You thought it was fine going out publicly with him if youwere only 2-3 years younger than him, but you weren’t. You were 21 years oldwho already fell too deeply with the charming Mats. You fell for the way hecares for you and you were totally convinced that he really liked you and soyou said yes.

And with that age gap you had between each other, you kindafelt like it was wrong, but somehow it felt right. You’ve never gone out to areal public date because you never wanted to be seen. More like, you neverwanted him to be seen with a girl like you. Because you knew how the societyworks today, people became quicker to judge and discriminate if something doesn’tseem right.

But you could really say that they were right!

But you still wanted to oppose them and say that they wouldnever understand, and that it’s you who owns your life. Because you neverwanted to leave Mats. You really fell in love with him.

“Mats, I don’t know,” You said quietly, pushing yourself upfrom his arms as you turned to look at him, meeting his brown eyes that neverfail to amuse you. “Can we just go to somewhere quieter? With just only the twoof us? Like a picnic dinner at your rooftop, we haven’t tried that before. Thestars would be a great sight, for sure.”

“I would love that, babe,” Mats grabbed your hand and kissedit gently. “But we’ve been hiding from everyone since our first date and Iwould really want to take you out. I want to show everyone the woman who’s beenall my mind lately.”

“Babe…” You called, your voice sounded like a whine.

“Babe, what are you so scared of? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“No! Of course not! It’s not you, Mats. It’s me.” You’vepointed out, looking down at the way he held your hand. It felt nice and firm,getting you warmer and secure as the night goes colder.

“What are you talking about? Tell me what’s bothering you,Y/N that you don’t want to go out on a real date with me. ” Mats pushed himselfup, sitting up to get to near you clearly. He cupped your cheek, tilting yourhead up to look at him.

“I think you already know, Mats.” You never told him aboutit and you just felt like he does because of the way you’ve been neglecting hispublic date offer for weeks! You knew he was just being patient and consideratefor you.

“And it hurts me a little bit,” He really did know. “I knewit was the age difference between us that was holding you back. But you know, Idon’t care. I don’t care that you’re almost a decade younger than me. I likedyou because I liked you, Y/N. Hell, I love you because you are you. I didn’tknow your age when I first saw you and I instantly fell for you. But eventhough I had known, I would still fall for you over again because of what I seein you the first thing. I love you and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”

You shut your eyes tight, looking down even farther, feelingsorry for him. His hand putted your forehead against his chest as he kissedyour forehead. You felt your heart getting heavier every second. He was toogood for you.

“I’m just scared of what the people might say about me.” Youwhispered.

“Babe, people will always have something to say,” hecontinued, slightly pushing your head up to look at him in the eye. “You dogood or bad, people would always say something, that’s how society is. You cannever change that. The only thing that matters is how you handle it. Do youalways have to care about what they say? You don’t. I never did once care aboutpeople who bring me down before. Well, look at me now. It’s between you and menow. Let’s not give a damn about anyone who goes against us. It’s not ourproblem, it’s theirs.”

You took his words carefully, trying to digest everythinguntil it started to make sense.

You slowly nodded, finally beginning to understand. “Okay,”you said, taking a risk. You knew you were still scared inside butnevertheless, you want to do it scared. He was right. It doesn’t matter now ifpeople would judge you. What matters now is your relationship. You wanted thisto continue, to last.

Mats smiled satisfyingly, his eyes glowed in the middle ofdark. He cupped your jaw and kissed your lips lovingly before he rested hisforehead against yours.

“I’m gonna ask you again,” He started saying, and you can’t helpbut chuckle adorably as your noses touched. “Y/N, will you go out with me on adate tomorrow? And the next day? The next week? The next month? The next years?

You laughed. “Yes, Mats. I will go out with you on a datetomorrow, and the next day, and the next week, and the next month, and the nextyears.”

“Sounds so good to my ears.” He said as he closed his eyes andclaimed your mouth again against his.

[writer-of-worlds]

good ol' #dammitdrusus for the ask, please!

#dammitpikes1:their voice: Thanks to you, I could hear his voice gruff (forgot the VA you referred to for him LOL)2:their smile: Due to his stoic mask, he almost never smiles. But if he does, it's a big deal, because while he tends to be dour, seeing his smile would bring hope that broken people can make it. X33:their greatest achievement: Defeating Chaos and saving the world. Besides that... Not sure XD4:their insecurities: That he wasn't strong enough, and that he wouldn't be able to protect the ones he care about.5:their shortcomings: When his friends or loved ones are in danger, he ends up in a destructive rage to rescue them. And by destructive I mean TEAR DOWN A FUCKING FOREST AND KILL EVERYONE WHO GOT IN HIS WAY. Plus, he tends to be distant due to fear that if he's close to someone, they'll die as well.6:how they deal with grief: Dude he went through enough. His stoic mask would break, and he would scream, punch or destroy something, and start sobbing uncontrollably and inconsolably.7:how they like to dress: For training or missions, he wore his purple karate gi. Casually, he wore a blue tunic and pants. Both times he keeps his red headband on since it was a gift from Than.8:what they like to eat: Even though he's buff, he actually eats a lot of fruits and vegetables. He is also a big fan of vegetable stew, which stemmed from his mother's cooking.9:their theme: Numb by Linkin Park10:their fashion sense: See 7.11:their family life: He'd be a strict dad; making sure that his kiddos are doing what they need to do and punishing them accordingly when they do something bad. But despite that, he's a loving and fair papa and makes sure that his boys are safe.12:their romantic life: From best friends to lover's with Keme. I see Drusus making sure that Keme was safe and protect him if needed, while Keme is a shoulder to cry on as he makes sure that Drusus was happy.13:their embarrassing memory from years ago: "Oh dear gods... Did I say that to Keme.. IN PUBLIC?! I'm so terrible ugh..."14:how they react to burning their tongue on food: He'd scramble to take the food out of his mouth, all the while cussing XD15:how they react to a brainfreeze: He'd just hold his head and throw away whatever ice cream he had left unless he would make it worse XD16:their dreams: As a kid, he wanted to be a merchant. But after he was married, he hoped that he'll die happy with no regrets.17:their ambitions: To be strong both emotionally and physically.18:how they sleep: He's a rough sleeper, so he would end up kicking the blanket off his body. One of his legs would end up hanging on the side of the bed and his hand would be on his chest.19:their reaction to betrayal: He'd be in a state of shock and hurt, and he'd feel depressed for days, wondering why it had happened.20:their reaction to a mystery love letter: He'd blush and his face would be red. And he knew who the writer is XD21:how they react to pain: He just grits his teeth and keeps going, even though he was missing an arm. If he's going down, he might as well go down fighting!22:what they're like on two hours of sleep: Grumpy as hell, and would end up falling on his face and sleep right there.23:how they act when they're sick: He doesn't complain about it, though he hates staying in bed for a few days.24:what motivates them: He's determined to make sure that Keme and his loved ones wouldn't suffer the same fates like his parents, Than, and Aric, and that strives him to train.25:why you enjoy them: While he and Keme helped me with the whole ex friend thing, I see him as a reminder that keeping that stoic mask isn't good for you--it's okay to cry.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #83

“i’m not afraid of the dark, i’m afraid of what’s in the dark.”

who’s your favorite author?   i don't particularly have one. how do you make your coffee?   i don't.  i hate coffee. what’s the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing?   panicking at a time when i shouldn't have been.  panic attacks in general are just humiliating. do you remember what you dreamt about last night?   YA'LL i had a nightmare that my family and i were in this fucked-up mix of re7 and "the evil within" oh god it was awful how do you feel about wearing leggings in public?   totally fine with it so long you wear your damn size. do you vape?   no do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?   i only enjoy two of their songs and have heard like three.  one of these songs happens to be my favorite song ever tho, so i guess that means something. do you have any male names picked out for future children? female names?   for boys, i really like severin, vincent, victor, and luther.  my daughter, if i ever have one, is 100% going to be alessandra quinn and no i am not compromising lol. have you ever been proposed to?   nope. how much irish do you have in you?   close to 50% ever looked into your family heritage?   no, but someone in my family has and made a huge family tree some years back.  found out we're distantly related to queen victoria and william clark do you think you have ever been in love? if so, with whom?   i don't just think i have been, i know i was with jason. do you like road trips?   as long as i have my ipod, yes. do you tend to waste a lot of money?   i don't get money to begin with, so. do you like someone?   i mean yeah. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?   i have. do you like olive garden?   it's probs my favorite restaurant do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry?   yeah. what’s your favorite kind of alcohol?   i haven't drunk much, really, so i don't have much to pick from, but the best one i've ever had was this watermelon margarita thing. ever been in a near death situation? explain:   well, i got in a wreck once, but it was minor; nevertheless, the cops told my mom if she hadn't made one crucial move, we probably would've been flipped over dead.  i also overdosed once, so does that count? what is your biggest weakness?   probably just my insecurity in general. scene kids, opinions?   personally, i find the trend aesthetically pleasing.  i enjoy the style very much.  i'd actually die for scene hair.  but do you, man. how far out of your age bracket would you date?   i probably wouldn't go younger than 21 and no older than 28. have you ever had an std?   nope. is the area you live in more liberal or conservative?   conservative do you keep anything from a past relationship? (gifts, letters, etc)   i've kept literally everything jason's ever given me, and no, i won't get rid of it unless i see practical reason to.  no current partner will change my mind on that; he made me happy once, get over it. are you tan?   i'm pale as fuck what would you do if you were pregnant now?   accept it?  but that's legitimately impossible right now. do you know anyone who’s bipolar?   my half-sister is, my dad probably is, and i either have bipolarity ii or borderline personality disorder. what do you dip your chicken nuggets in?   sometimes honey mustard, sometimes ketchup. is the person you like older or younger than you?
   he's a bit older what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you?   nothing?  i'm 21, it's not like they have any say in that matter. are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?  yes.  i really want my lip redone, snake eyes on my tongue, then my nose redone, then more holes in my ears again.  as for tattoos, yes, i have many in mind.  i was supposed to get one for my birthday too, soooo... that still hasn't happened. when was the last time someone held your hand?   few days back. if you could have any pet right now, what would it be?   the ball python morph i was supposed to fucking get for christmas.  i have the goddamn money for her, just my mom's being lazy per usual with just buying it already (it was put in her account).  i'm honestly starting to get paranoid she's just used the money by now. do you still pinky promise?   damn right son do you like to be called baby?   no, because i'm not one, i'm a woman who went through hell itself to get to where i am.  don't belittle me. how do you know you love someone, personally?   lol this makes me think of that van halen song that really describes it perfectly: "how do i know when it's love?  i can't tell you, but it lasts forever."  it's hard to explain, you just... know it.  you just have this feeling that doesn't go away, almost no matter what.  you have this unconditional fondness towards someone that few, if any, things can change. would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf?   if i'd already made plans, no, but if my boyfriend really needed me for crucial reasons, yes, because he comes first. how many true best friends are present in your life?  i don't have a best friend, so. do you currently have a significant other?   yeah. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?  i only "hate" one person, and no, i wouldn't. think of your current or last bf/gf. do you/did you love them?  no, i don't love him yet.  we haven't even been together a month. has anybody ever dated you only for your looks?   lol no way, i don't have "looks" has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?   my ex was criticized by three people, yeah.  and it always pissed me off.  like is it your business, at all?  i'm the one who loves him regardless of how the fuck he looks.  i personally and sincerely was and still am attracted to him anyway, so none of your fucking business. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   "i can't handle your depression anymore," he said.  after three and a half years of having accepted it.  lmao. have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?   mhm. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   with my ex, yeah.  not with my current boyfriend. has anybody said they loved you, but you didn’t love them back?   yeah.  tyler does that now.  first of all i'm just like "um no you don't" because it's been what, two weeks?  i'm not going to say i love you when i know i don't yet. would you ever act as a couple with someone who didn't want to make it 'official'?   NO AND I KNOW TOO FUCKING MANY PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE STOP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FUCKING PLAYED how many contacts do you have on your phone?  i legitimately only have 14 lol do you have a voicemail?
   no. have you ever taken a pregnancy test?   no. are you jewish?   no. does your ex still think about you?  most likely not. how many songs are on your mp3/ipod?  over 1,000 what’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?   "logan" w/ tyler biggest pet peeve?  being talked to when i am quite obviously listening to music and have no interest in talking.  bit bitchy to say, but just.  don't. do you like the beach?   not that much, to be honest. what smell reminds you most of summer?   the smell of barbeque do you still talk to the last person you made out with?   no, i don't. what do you usually order on a pizza?   jalapenos what would you order if you went to mcdonald’s right now?   mcdouble, medium fry, medium coke. are you obsessed with anything?   i have four things i'd consider legitimate obsessions: rhett&link/gmm, markiplier, meerkats, and silent hill. do you eat your pizza crust?   dude always, it's only the best part. what is the worst pain that you’ve experienced?   physical?  having a pilonidal cyst emptied.  i was seriously screaming and sobbing bloody murder because i was not drugged enough.  they gave me morphine and like five numbing shots all throughout and i was still 100% feeling what was going on jesus christ i will never do that again. who is the most attractive actor?   hm.  probably chris hemsworth. be honest, do you like people in general?   no. do you have a brother?  i have a half-brother do you prefer pepsi or coke?   coke, pepsi's gross. do you ever go hunting/fishing?   fishing, yeah, never hunting.  i couldn't. do you have any tattoos?  i have three. what are the middle names of everyone in your family?  mom and nicole: marie.  ashley: nicole.  dad: john. are you an organ donor?  mhm. would you steal under any circumstance, be it for survival or greed?  i honestly wouldn't be able to unless we were talking an apocalyptic situation where stores and such were abandoned, but products remained there.  but i guess that'd more accurately be called scavenging. what person, living or deceased, would you most like to converse with?  mark fischbach.  he's too inspirational for his own good. have you ever been profoundly affected by a teacher?   coach collie and mr. proctor, yes<3 have you, or do you commit substance abuse?  nope. what was the scariest moment of your life?   the moment after i overdosed and realized what i was doing. what’s your relationship with your sibling/s like?  we barely have one. are you ready for kids now?   definitely not. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it was pierced for years, then the fucking hole closed when i was in the hospital. >~> was your birthday good this year?  lmao no.  i was in a mental hospital.  take your guess. have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating?   no, because if you want that kind of attention from me, you better be dating me first. if your ex said they hated you, you respond with? why?   ha ha ha honestly the first thing i thought of was, "well your dick sure didn't" because facts are facts. have you ever passed out/fainted?  i have. would you rather drown or burn alive?   ... um. do you like to mow the yard?   i don't do it period. who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?   jason. what color is your father’s car?   shit.  i'm not entirely sure.  i think black...? how many pets do you have?   two. do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?   broccoli.  asparagus is gross. skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?   i like 2%.  we drink skim, but it's not my preference. was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   on the lips?  absolutely. now what are you listening to?   a gmm video. how many stories does your house have?   just one. do you get along better with shy/quiet people or confident/outgoing people?   confident/outgoing, if i had to pick just one.  i'm shy/quiet, and i guess opposites attract. outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.   mark fishbach, link neal, rhett mclaughlin <3 if someone jokes about sex or sexual things does that make you feel uncomfortable?   sometimes in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?   english when you were a kid, where did you think babies came from?   i thought they came from the mother's stomach, but i didn't know how they got out. what color are the eyes of the person you love or the person you’re currently interested in?   they're brown. was your last facebook friend request from a male or female?   male. think of the last person that betrayed you. if they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?   yes.  but that doesn't mean i'd welcome them back into my life. have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer?   yeah.  3 1/2 years. what ended it, or are you still involved?   he did.  according to him, he couldn't handle my depression anymore and i gave up on life.  i'm finally getting to the point where i almost don't care anymore.  he became a callous, insensitive prick. where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum?   that's fucking gross.  i throw it in the trash like a normal fucking human. what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss?   silent hill.  it's one of my passions that, very surprisingly, i am totally unashamed of and loving talking about it. what is your least favorite topic to discuss?   politics because i don't understand most of it. do you like oatmeal?   i'm picky about it.  i hate it with water, and if you use milk, it absolutely cannot have too much in it or it's disgusting. how many times have your comments been top comments on youtube?   very, very rarely.  i like never comment on youtube unless it's on a friend's video. have you ever tried to make a movie?   no, but i actually wanted to be a movie director once upon a time. do you like the moon or sun more?   moon. do you like turkey or ham more?   ham. have you ever slapped someone’s butt?   i don't think so, but i guess there's a small possibility i have to jason just to fuck with him?  oh wait, yes i have, i did it once playfully to chelsea and she moaned loudly lol. do you think dimples are ugly?   no, i think they're cute. do you like zebras?   yeah, sure.  they're very cute and so unique. who was the last person you talked to on skype/video chat?   we didn't use video, but sam.  brother from another mother. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the last person you kissed?   i just found jason attractive in general, but i guess his face in general.  he has a somewhat stern, but oddly attractive expression as his baseline. would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well?   yeah. what’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had with a significant other? you don’t have to go into detail, just talk briefly about it.   him leaving. do you have any traits that you obviously inherited from your parents?   i pace like my dad. what’s your favorite thing from olive garden?   spicy shrimp fritas have you ever thought of killing yourself?   i didn't just think of it, i attempted because i'm fucking dumb. what’s your grandma’s name?   maternal, cecelia.  i actually don't remember my paternal's. where did your last ex ask you out?   well, we were actually texting at the time.  both of us were at home. do you know any german words?   lots, yeah. what is the cutest animal?   meerkats!  especially the pups! have you ever held a starfish?   no, but that'd be cool. what is something that reminds you of your ex?   many, many things.  but i think more than anything, the song "easy to love you" by theory of a deadman has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?   no. which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?   chocolate bc i am honestly a fatass. do any of your followers on tumblr have your phone number?   on my main blog, one.  not on this one. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?   well, i love and like two different people.  i love jason, and i just find his face to be attractive in general.  i like tyler, and he has a cute smile. have you ever had mono?   no.  older sister has, though. do you prefer just water, or do you like to put in crystal light, ect?   neither, really.  i don't like water, and artificial sweeteners give me a headache. were you ever addicted to sims?  ever addicted, no.  but i really enjoyed the animal-oriented sims once. ever been to prom?   twice. what kind of music do you like?   mostly heavy metal. have you been to any concerts? if so, which ones?   alice cooper, yeah. what level do you play on guitar hero?   i do a mix of hard and expert now.  i used to get no lower than like 94% on expert when i played it a lot. what did you want to be when you grew up?   first an archaeologist, then a vet, a movie director, a game designer... do you have a pool?   no. is your last name unique?   no. do you know anyone colorblind, or slightly colorblind?   jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors. do you like pink?   yeah.  it's like my second favorite color. do you prefer rainbows or stars?   rainbows. would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?   aquarium what is your favorite planet in our solar system?   saturn! what element do you feel most connected to?   water describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another?   white ballroom gown with a sweetheart top and a cathedral veil.  will never be able to afford it, though. what medication do you dislike the most?   the ones that dissolve on your tongue. what skill do people often compliment you on?   artistic skills. if you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?   mark fischbach, and about positivity. what is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?   *shrugs*  if i really think about it, i think there are people that understand every aspect about me. what do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night?   light candles, play the gameboys. what’s your favorite coke product?   coke do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators?   me, a little bit. do you like country music?   nope. ever seen a jellyfish?   in aquariums, yes. do you think you were raised well?   yes, generally.  we should've been given more chores, but w/e. do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE?   yes. how do you handle stress?   i panic. do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?   HA HA HA YEAH RIGHT kids then marriage or marriage than kids?   hey, 90% of people, fucking get married first. do you think best friends can be replaced?   "replaced," no.  they can change, yeah, but not replaced. your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?   if it was jason, i'd greet him; tyler, i'd honestly just tell him to take a hint and leave me alone. your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at?   both, obviously? why do some guys lie about not being virgins?   because of the pressure and stereotypes put upon them. would you ever stay with a cheater?   NOPE do you like wine?   i've never tried it, but knowing that it's bitter, i hiiighly doubt i'd like it. have you ever been pregnant?   no. are there too many teens getting pregnant?   one teen is too many. do you like obama?   i don't know much about him as a president, but i do know he's pretty funny. where was your first kiss?   on jason's bed. have you ever gone to a grocery store late at night? what did you get?   i'm guessing you mean really late at night?  yeah.  a few months back when i had my cyst, mom and i drove to walmart at like 4 am because i was in so much pain; i couldn't sleep. what’s the best name you can come up with for a snake?   i like crowley. ;v; do you think fish are cute?   some, sure.

[5hfanfiction]

Co-Captains

a/n: i planned this as a mini-series, but i got stuck on how to continue it… so here’s a one-shot to whoever’s reading ✌😎

A/N!!: p.s. this was written before C left so… yeah. just keep that in mind 😳😳

…  

Unknown1: Sup gurl. Are you busy?

Unknown2: Hey! 😊 Just got off work. Why?

Unknown1: I need your help. Can I call?

Unknown2: Sure.

- Incoming call - Unknown -

- Call ended -

Unknown1: Oh yeah! I forgot

Unknown1: I need a nickname to save your number under. In case, notifications pop up of my screen and they were reading.

Unknown2: Hmmmm….

Unknown2: How about lieutenant? Since you’re the captain

Unknown1: HAHA 😂

Unknown1: I like that

Unknown1: But it’s still little suspicious though

Unknown2: 😂😂 shame

Unknown2: How about Chester? If anyone asks, I’m some guy you met somewhere

Unknown1: GIRL YOU SO SMART

Chester: I named you Captain 😛

Captain: Gurl… Btw you ain’t my lieutenant

Captain: You my co-captain

Chester: Awww ❤

…

Camila follows the familiar route to the recording studio, mentally pumping herself up for recording to overshadow the fatigue in her body. Not that she’s complaining that her life is too busy, or too hectic, she’s just a a normal person that get’s tired from time to time. Her thoughts focus on the feeling of singing a new song, discovering a new sound, hitting high notes, and most of all, hanging out with the girls. 

Sometime after their debut, for some reason, management started treating her differently. Making her go to events alone, or to interviews with Austin (now, Shawn) instead of the girls, planning “candid” moments for the paparazzi to capture, and the tabloids to follow. Sometimes, she’s tempted to say no, or argue with their decisions, because her frustrations about it build. But she’s still relatively new to the industry, and she’s still pretty damn young. So for now, the most logical alternative was to follow the lead of publicists and managers that know better from experience. 

Every now and then, she likes to talk to Ally about it, because she has the magical power to make any situation a positive one. Their little big sister explains to her that management only singles her out because she’s the most interesting one to the public. The younger one argues that they’re all interesting, but she clarifies that the public doesn’t understand them like they do. The members have spent invaluable time together, but all the public sees are red carpet interviews, and radio show appearances, where media executive pick and choose who they want to focus on. 

Only they know about Ally’s duffel bag of wigs, that she puts on and breaks out in indistinguishable accents. Only they’ve witnessed socks falling out of Normani’s bra when they were dressing up for an X Factor performance, and watched the girl die of embarrassment as they cry-sobbed their freshly made up faces away; they never saw that make up artist after that day again. Only they know about how Lauren becomes deaf to the world when she read a book, and the videos of them taking turns screaming and dancing around her to get her attention. They know about how Dinah once got a nose bleed and spread it over herself, recreating her own crime scene on the tour bus, just to be “scolded” by a traumatised worry-filled Ally who made her promise never to prank them again.

And she kept her promise.

For exactly 6 days, 21 hours, and 3 minutes. 

Camila could never truly understand how the other girls were any less interesting, but they share a laugh, reminiscing precious blackmail-worthy moments. She truly does have some sort of magical power.

She pushes through the door, as she replies to a fan’s tweet, laughing at her lame ass pun. Camila knows they’re lame, but they’re still pretty damn funny. People might not laugh outwardly, but they’re laughing on the inside (she’s sure). The room is quiet and still, so she heads to the couch on the far end of the studio. That is, until her back leg hooks on to something, causing her to fall.

“Shit- Camz! I’m so sorry,” immediately follows, concern clear in their voice

She feels hands on her arms, then a soft tug to help her on her feet. Camila looks ups to find a pair of green eyes look her up and down, assessing her for any injury, dark brows against pale skin, furrowed with worry.

“Lo! You lost your tan!” she exclaims, pointing at her face, missing it by just an inch.

Worry leaves her gaze, and is replaced by a bright spark. She hears a laugh, and she follows suit.

A hand playfully pushes her pointing hand away, and she says, “You just face planted, almost hitting the table corner, and the first thing you worry about… is my tan?”

Camila laughs when she realises her short attention span.

“It’s clearly the more urgent matter.”

The continue small talk for a while, before falling into a comfortable silence. Camila realises that they have been waiting for at least 15 minutes now. Someone else should have come in; Normani, Ally, Dinah, a writer, a producer, at least someone should have at least popped in to check that they were there. It was a recording day after all.

When she’s caught up with the lattest on twitter, tumblr, and instagram, her thumb presses on the lock button on the side of the phone, and she’s met with her reflection on the black screen. She looks up.“Where’s everyone?” she asks, more to herself than to Lauren.

She gets a shrug, Lauren still engrossed on whatever was on her phone. By the mainly scrolling motion of her thumb on the screen, Camila guesses the girl is on tumblr.

She continues to look to the older girl, realising they haven’t been talking for a while. Camren. Oh, Camren. A seed (they have honestly admitted, they played a part in planting) that grew too fast, too quick. It was funny at first, but it grew to be tiring. Not that she minded being paired with Lauren, heck, the girl felt honoured. But when simply holding her friends hand, or even simply looking her way, leads to hundreds of questions and accusations on twitter, and an increasing number of warnings from publicists and management, they were made to be conscious of every move they make. Having to flinch when their fingers merely graze, or having to look away every time they made eye contact, it was like walking on thin ice every time they were outside together. It takes a toll on friendship, and things start to get awkward, even when they’re alone together. 

Things became awkward. Even get leaning against each other on the couch brings thoughts of Lauren as more than a friend. Is it because of all the things she’s seen on tumblr and twitter? She doesn’t know. But they decided it’s best for them to spend time apart, actively minimising interactions between just the two of them. It felt good for a while, being able to breathe around each other, not having to be so cautious. But eventually, they grew apart, it was inevitable.

Though recently, she’s been noticing that there’s been an increasing incidence of them being left alone, just the two of them. It could just be that she’s only been conscious of those moments these past few days. But now, they’re alone, and Camila remembers how much she misses Lauren. They used to be so close.

“What are you looking at?”

“Huh?”

She reads the older girls expression: wide eyes, tight-lipped, flushed cheeks, phone clutched close to her chest. It may have been a while since they’ve had a sleepover, but Camila recognises that deer-in-the-headlight look Lauren was wearing. She’s seen it a few times before, it’s a pretty distinct look. 

“Are you reading fanfiction?” she asks slowly, watching the other girl’s face closely.

She sees Lauren lock her phone, and put it on the table, as if the blank lock screen somehow proved that she wasn’t reading fanfiction. “No.”

She leans over, slowly reaching for the phone in question, waiting for Lauren to protectively snatch back her phone. The green-eyed girl doesn’t. Instead, Lauren raises an eyebrow, challenging her. Camila takes the phone, taking a few steps away as a precaution; all the while, Lauren stays put. Camila puts her thumb on the home button, hoping her thumbprint was still registered on Lauren’s phone. Before the phone could tell her the answer, Lauren did. Her eyes go wide in realisation, immediately lunging towards the phone in Camila’s hand. The black screen turns white, and the words load onto the page.

“AHA!” she shouts triumphantly, wearing a victor’s smile. Camila runs to the corner of the room, Lauren at her tail. She couldn’t read clearly, but she scans as much as she can. “WOOOWWW” she teases. She didn’t even have to look at the other girl to know how red her face was.

“He strokes my cheek,” she read out loud dramatically. Lauren has caught her, they fall on the couch. Camila ended on her back, with Lauren just sitting on her legs to trap her there, but she does her best to turn her body away from Lauren to keep the phone out of her reach. 

She continues, making it a point to be even louder, “‘Harry’, I whisper, willing three more words to fall out of my mouth.” Camila laughs between words; from the cheesy words, or from Lauren’s brightly reddened face, or from both, whichever. Lauren finally successfully gets her phone back, but Camila can remember the words that follow. Now her hands are free, she extends out her arms for dramatic effect, “But before I could, he kisses me. He kisses me-” she looks at her friend, eyes pleading for her to stop. 

And so.. she says the last word as dramatically as she could, “-HAARRDDDD!" 

She finally lets out all the laughter she held in. Lauren buries her face in Camila’s shoulder, willing her blush to go away, and stopping her own laughter. She fails, and releases out a chuckle, making the younger girl laugh harder. She mumbles "I hate you"s as she bangs her forehead into Camila’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and entered Normani, Dinah, and finally, Ally.

They look up find three perplexed faces staring at them.

”… well, you guys are early…“

"We’re early? Weren’t we supposed to meet hear at-” Lauren starts until she felt Camila wiggling from under her, finally freeing herself by rolling out from under her onto the floor. She lands with an, “Umph.”

“GUESS WHAT LAUREN WAS READING?”

“Oh my god! SHUT UP!”

Lauren found herself lunging at Camila yet again to cover her mouth.

…

Captain: Stage 1 is a success 😎

Captain: Took me a few tries to get them in the same room alone but I got it done CAUSE I’M AWESOME

Chester: They’re talking again?

Captain: They was even wrestling!

Chester: In a good way… right?

Captain: Haha yeah

Chester: When do we initiate stage 2?

Captain: We wait for them to get close again. Then I’ll give you a go signal

Chester: Alright! Can’t wait

Captain: Btw

Captain: Harry’s throwing a party tonight, wanna come?

Chester: Harry Styles?

Captain: No

Captain: Harry Potter

Captain: DUH

Chester: Ha. Ha. 😑😑

Captain: So can you come?

Chester: I’m free, but I don’t think people with my job are invited 😕

Chester: They’ll think I’m snooping HAHA

Captain: You’re coming as my friend

Captain: Come onnn. You know you wanna come 😉

Chester: Hmmm… 

Chester: What should I wear?

Captain: Anything! It’s real chill. Last time he threw a party like this, he was just in pyjamas. He told everyone to just be comfortable

Captain: Here. I’m just in this✌

Chester: Will this do? 😕

Captain: DAMN GIRL. I said CHILL

Captain: BUT NAH you right. I’m going to find something else and we’re gonna look hella cute 😏

…

a/n: … I hope you guys liked it and have a nice <insert appropriate time of day> wherever you are!

-Me

A/N!!: i’m on wattpad @ddimeadozen / tumblr @themachine-me

[dudence-blog]

Dear Dudence for 14 December 2017

It’s a week until Christmas and Hanukkah is in swing.  Hopefully you’ve got your presents ordered, wrapped, or delivered.  If you’re one of the lucky few who don’t need to write to an advice columnist to figure out who you should spend your holidays with I hope it’s a great time for you.  I’ve got the gluehwein warming in the kitchen so on to the letters other people asked someone else!

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and he is loving, caring, and dedicated. He’s in the medical field and enjoys helping his patients. Most of the time, I can see myself marrying him and being happy, but some things he says politically make me nervous, and I’m worried that he’s too uncaring about other people’s situations. He doesn’t have a problem with Roy Moore being a senator because “he hasn’t been convicted.” He seems to judge sexual harassment victims for not coming forward earlier and doesn’t understand why some wouldn’t.

Dear Is He Insensitive, welcome to being in a relationship with someone who roots for another team than you do.  Sometimes this difference is between Yankee and Red Sox fans, sometimes it’s between OU and UT.  In this case it’s between D and R.  Your boyfriend is making excuses for Roy Moore’s behavior in the same way that Mets fans were perfectly cromulent with Jose Reyes’ domestic abuse and Texans fans shake their heads about Brian Cushing’s PED use.  Your boyfriend also has the perfectly human response to the victims of “This isn’t what I would do or what I would expect everyone I know to do if it happened to them.”  It doesn’t make him right or them wrong, it’s just something people do.  It doesn’t mean he is insensitive to the plight of such victims closer to him.  He just chooses to spend his emotional attention on people who are not complete strangers thousands of miles away with whom he will never interact.  I want you to go ahead and ignore Newdie’s advice on this one because, honestly, she is a child who thinks that history began on or about 21 January 2009.  Roy Moore is an awful person; his political actions alone should have been disqualifying for the office of Senator, that he took an interest in young women which was awkward for the time, and downright creepy when viewed through today’s expectations (Unless you’re the President and First Lady of France).  That he lost is, probably, for the benefit of the nation.  But unless you live in Alabama your boyfriend’s view on Moore’s candidacy matters exactly as much to your relationship as to whether he was a Cubs fan who was suddenly less than willing to condemn Ardolis Chapman as an abuser.  Also, let me go ahead and let you know that every single person who seeks that high of an elected office is, at some level, an awful person.  You need to be to have the single-minded megalomania to decide you, and you alone, know what is best for several thousand to hundreds of millions of people, many of whom deeply and sincerely disagree with you.  It’s just a matter of whether their awfulness has been brought to light, or if they’re a member of your team.  You might be too young to remember, but 18 months ago Bill Clinton’s history of assault and harassment was just not that important, and almost 30 years ago no less a feminist than Gloria Steinem believed he was entitled to One Free Grope.  Rand Paul is, apparently, an awful-enough neighbor to justify being assaulted.  Bob Menendez and Alcee Hastings took bribes.  There are, what, 4 Congressmembers who’ve been outed using taxpayer dollars to settle harassment claims?  Only you can decide whether your politically disinterested boyfriend’s lazy defense of a bad candidate is worth you blowing up a relationship with someone who satisfies you in the many other dimensions of a relationship.  I, personally, wouldn’t end a relationship I can see otherwise ending in wedding bells over a disagreement on the players on your political team. 

Is it ever acceptable to make a request about your partner’s appearance? I would never comment on something like weight or unchangeable physical characteristics (nor would I want to—I think my wife is beautiful). But what about easily changeable things? My wife has recently stopped coloring her hair, so now she is all gray.

Dear Dye Job, of course it’s acceptable to make requests about your partner’s appearance.  “Honey, I really like that red blouse you wore last week,” be polite, sensitive, and keep it positive.  As for your specific request let’s talk.  It was something she previously did, but she has stopped doing.  Maybe she didn’t like the hassle, maybe she thought it wasn’t money well-spent, maybe she didn’t think you noticed it enough, maybe she is just deciding to give her hair a break for a bit.  I’d suggest just asking her about it.  Frame the question in a positive and supportive way; if she asks if you have a preference, be honest, but accept it might just not be something she wants to do.  You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

I’m in my late-30s but for some reason am painfully embarrassed by my pre-teen/middle school years. I don’t want any throwback pics or “hey, remember how you used to...” discussion. It’s completely irrational. I was not tormented and had no particularly traumatic incidents. Just your garden-variety awkward. Anyway, I’ve never told anyone this because I realize it’s nuts. If things come up, I just laugh along and change the subject as swiftly as possible. But recently a family member has started posting clips from old family videos on Facebook. I am absolutely mortified at the thought of some of the videos that I know they have of me being made public.

Dear Adolescent Embarrassment, are you me?  It might be small comfort but, honestly, as long as your recorded moments don’t feature you fiving a Nazi salute or shooting the neighbors pets no one fucking cares how embarrassing and awkward you were as a pre-teen because all of us were like that.  The coolest, sexist, most confident person you know has a picture of video of them wearing awful clothes, a then-popular hairstyle, and their voice cracking in that awful way it does.  Ask whoever has those videos to not upload ones of you, and if they do it anyway just ignore it.

I am 36 years old and have been in a relationship with a great guy for almost two years. He is 43. We are talking about marriage and possibly kids if that works out. I have zero issues with our relationship—it’s great. The only concern I have is that prior to dating me, my boyfriend only dated very attractive women under 26 years old. Some of them were even as young as 20 or 22, while he was in his mid-to-late 30s. I guess I am concerned that someday he will want to go back to that.

Dear Reading Too Much, in addition to believing that history began on or about 21 January 2009 NuPru also thinks that romantic partners are incapable of wanting anything different from what they have dated before.  Yes, it is possible he might want to go back to dating college-age women, or the fact he’s dating you and you two are discussing a future together means he’s ready to move on from dating women in their early to mid 20s.  Also, since you’re talking age-ranges here a 34 year old dating a 26 year old is not exactly Mrs. Robinson trying to seduce someone.  Heck, it’s well within Half Your Age +7.  NuPru is reading an exceptional amount of malice into very sparse information.  If you haven’t talked with your boyfriend about your concern that you might be a bit too mature for his chickenhawkish ways may I suggest that you do so.  However, when you do I suggest you throw out all the argle-bargle NuPru mentioned about “power imbalance”, “being fresh out of high school”, etc because the only way to make that conversation end more poorly would be to ask if he’s preparing to run for the Senate in 20 years.  Don’t ask him why he wanted to date youngerer women, ask him what makes his relationship with you more special than the ones that came before.  

I recently got out of a very long-term relationship. I hadn’t expected to enter the dating world so soon, but I met a guy while traveling for work and made an instant connection with him. I only travel to his area a few weeks a year, so I stayed in contact with him and we chat almost every day. Well, I’ve just recently met someone else more local (once again, it caught me by surprise). I know I’m not necessarily ready for a relationship with either, but I’m really starting to like both of them. I’ve always felt I could be polyamorous, as I feel that people have the capability to care for and love multiple people, but should I continue spending time with both of them?

Dear Poly Maybe?, you see that cart in front of you?  You need to dismount your horse, unhitch it from the cart, move your horse in front of the cart, then rehitch it.  You’re newly free from a long-term relationship and now you’ve found multiple people you want to bang.  It is far, far, far more likely that something is going to come along to derail your relationship with either, or both, of them before you need to start explaining how you love them both equally and hope they’re okay with you being banged by the other.  

My father has just collapsed from a cancer none of us knew he had. He is ailing, and my mother is absolutely freaking out. She has always had undiagnosed, untreated mental illnesses. Since his retirement, she has clung to my father. My sister is there trying to manage things while my father is in the hospital. If she leaves the room, my mother freaks out. Last night mom called me, hysterical, saying that she had been “abandoned” (my sister went to the gym). She wandered the neighborhood wailing and sobbing until a neighbor came out to talk to her. Sooner or later, someone may call the police. She has not been to a doctor since I was born (I’m in my 50s). She won’t listen to anyone and wouldn’t let a caseworker into the house to assess the situation. I am estranged from all of them but would like to get her some help.

Dear Mother off the Rails, provide your sister the elderly care information Newdie offered.  

I recently asked out a man and he said yes (yay!). However, it turns out my roommate is also interested in him.

Dear Swiped a Crush, she who hesitates is lost.  Give her the polite heads-up, be prepared for some drama, but go on with your plans.  Real life is not an episode of Friends.

My daughter is 16 years old. Her mother and I have been divorced for most of my daughter’s life. For years, I have had to fight my ex’s attempt to keep my daughter from me and to keep joint, 50-50 custody. However, as a teen my daughter has been rebelling—stealing, failing school, et cetera. I’ve punished her by taking her phone away or not letting her go over to friend’s houses. Instead of backing me up, my ex sides with my daughter—without asking me why I punished her.

Dear Daughter Doesn’t Want, the good news is in a few years she’ll be dating Reading Too Much’s ex-boyfriend.  Wait, that might not be good news.  I would not sacrifice your time with your daughter so easily as Newdie is suggesting.  I get the impression that your relationship with your daughter’s mother is not the most amicable, but if you haven’t had a serious parent-to-parent discussion with her lately over your daughter’s behavior, discipline for her self-destructive actions, and the expectation that you’ll both support one another you need to.  I’d also suggest dealing with your lawyer about what your options actually are.  Your daughter is old enough that her preferences should be given some serious weight, but she’s not so old or mature that she should just be allowed to go off the rails.