#i’m 90% sure it was because i posted a lot of TUA shit-

[gwendyworm]

i was mass deleting photos and then i found this

I SWEAR ITS THE ORIGINAL I JUST DELETED THAT SIDE BLOG LIKE 2 YEARS AGO SOBBBB

[pepperf]

For the director's commentary thing, slight curveball: Just the entirety of "Everything Is Peaches But The Cream". It's not even 500 words and I always really enjoy it when I read it back but I'm also like "What went down here?" There is of course a danger that you don't know either XD

Either way, thanks for any insight!

Oh lord, now you're asking…! Okay, first reaction is that I have absolutely no clue what's going on and I basically stole the premise for this from one of my favourite songs, 'Handcuffed To A Fence In Mississippi' by Jim White:

I'm handcuffed to a fence in Mississippi. My girlfriend blows a boozy good-bye kiss. I see flying squirrels and nightmares of stigmata. Then awakening to find my Trans-Am gone. Still, I'm feeling pretty good about the future. Yeah, everything is peaches but the cream. I'm handcuffed to a fence in Mississippi, where things is always better than they seem. Things is always better than they seem.

It goes on, but basically this guy is in a shitty situation, there's a mysterious bloodstain and sirens in the distance…but it's still kind of cheery and optimistic. He's letting go of the idea that you have to be having fun or be happy all the time. Sometimes things are dark, and that's okay too.

And that kind of fitted my image of Diego and Lila's relationship: they argue a lot, and they do some objectively bad stuff to one another, and their lives are kind of awful, a lot of the time—but that doesn't mean they have to be sad about it, or let it get them down, if that's simply not how they feel. They can enjoy the challenge of it, they can trust in themselves to find a way out of it, they can even love each other when they're still doing bad stuff. Just that kind of cheerful view of, like, 'oops, looks like I'm about to be framed for murder…better do something about that.'

I did have some scattered thoughts in my head about what had happened. This is a post-s2 scenario where Lila has been doing some appearing and disappearing from Diego's life, because she's not yet reached a point where she feels safe or comfortable committing to him or to a fixed point in time. But she's drawn back to him, she's crazy in love with him—she's just not settled in herself yet. And he's kind of accepting of that.

Diego shook off the last of the dizziness as he watched the red taillights bouncing off down the uneven road. He could hear an excited whoop drift back to him, over the roar of the engine.

Dammit. He’d really liked that car, too.

I am a simple soul, I like cars and hot people. I liked Diego's scrappy old car in s1, it pinged the part of my brain that wants a Ford Mustang (and it's green, like Steve McQueen's—I'm not sure, but I'm thinking they deliberately did that, bc the shape is about right, too…I wouldn't be surprised if Diego was a fan of the movie Bullitt). Also, I figure that Lila has either drugged him or knocked him on the head. I am cool with that. Diego is cool with that. It's a minor inconvenience in his life. :D

He tugged experimentally at the handcuffs that shackled him to the chain-link fence. They were pink and fluffy on the outside, and absolutely professional underneath.

Lila has waylaid him to a seedy motel with the prospect of hot sex, obv. She has some reason of her own to want to be there, possibly an assignment from the Commission, or some personal loose end she wants to tie up. She just wanted some company, and to make Diego's life more exciting.

Still, they wouldn’t be an obstacle - if he had anything to pick the lock. But all he could see were rocks and scrubby twigs, and Lila’d taken all his remaining knives, along with his wallet, keys, and boots. He poked at the ground with his bare toes, failing to unearth anything useful, like a soda can tab or a fully-equipped lockpicking kit.

Remember back in the day when every corner of every street was liberally littered with soda can ring pulls? I feel like the TUA universe also still has those, as well as no internet. I don't know why. It's the 90s-ness of it, I guess.

Also, Lila is more thorough than almost anyone who's restrained Diego before. He's finding her a challenge—but maybe not in a bad way. He strikes me as a guy who doesn't like to rest on his current skillset, and is always seeking ways to push himself further. So he's simultaneously annoyed, impressed, challenged, and kinda turned on.

Sinking down into a crouch, he gazed up at the night sky, looming magnificently over the ugly motel. There was a good view of the stars out here in deepest Mississippi, and if he’d ever followed that line of studies, back at the Academy, maybe he’d be able to name a few constellations.

I get the impression from what little we see in s1 that the kids were able to choose, like…study modules, like how Vanya chose to learn the violin. It's the one freedom they seem to have had (well, obviously some of it was still prescriptive, like their combat training and so on). I imagine Luther went for the astronomy parts, flight, that sort of thing, judging by his room décor. Diego…maybe went for additional combat training? And in his limited free time, just read whatever he got his hands on? I'm not sure.

It was peaceful now that all the shouting and violence was over. He could hear the sounds of wildlife, insects and shit. There was a gentle breeze. It might even be nice, if he wasn’t handcuffed to a fucking fence.

The recurring motif. The chorus, if you will. :) I think all the shouting and violence happened outside of his view, he maybe caught the start of it before he ended up unconscious through whatever means. She probably drugged him, or he'd be talking about a headache about now.

He noticed three things at the same time: the distant wail of approaching police sirens, his boots tucked neatly under a nearby bush, and the massive bloodstain on the floor outside the room they’d rented.

Lila left him the boots. (Probably someone else called the cops, after all the shouting and violence.) She's playing 'nice' and giving him what she considers an advantage. She's expecting him to get out of the handcuffs, and escape the police, but it's just a little more pleasant not to have to do that barefoot. Also, she left him fully clothed! She was basically going totally easy on him, in her mind, because she's sweet on him.

It was shaped like an arrow, and it pointed helpfully - from the point of view of a rural police department looking for a person of color to blame - straight at him.

A tribute to the Umbrella Academy title sequence for Lila, and a coincidence in-universe. She's not murdered someone in a way that purposefully ends in a bloodstained arrow. Probably. Also the person totally deserved murdering, idk why, but they did.

Diego sighed, and rose smoothly to his feet.

Time to play Which Will Break First: Cuffs, Fence, or Wrist?

See, he's had a nice rest, and now he's ready to play! This is a relatively low-stakes operation, whatever is happening, it's something that he'll get out of, at some inconvenience to himself, and get back home, and then later on she'll show up again and he can grump at her for leaving him handcuffed to a fucking fence, what the hell, Lila?! to his heart's content.

(ETA: Also...he’s handcuffed to a fence. It’s probably wooden, or if not, rusty. Of course that is going to break first. He just needs to twist or kick right.)

I think that's all I've got! Aside from the fact that, weirdly enough, today I am wearing a T-shirt that says 'Just Peachy', which I mainly like bc it reminds me of that song…

[unibrowzz]

My Personal Eurovision Winners (and then some) Part VII: 2010-2020

And now we reach the final part of this 7 part series. Thank you all for actually sticking with this, because I know some people read it and that makes me a happy kitty :’)

Now, the 2010s were a weird decade for me, since this is the only decade I actually watched live. I started watching Eurovision in 2010 (though I have some vague memories of 2006), started taking notes on the contest in 2012, and started getting into the fandom around... 2014-ish. And confession: I haven’t rewatched any 10s contest since.

The 10s winners are a mixed bunch. I’d put them in the same ballpark as the 00s, only this time I really dislike the ones I dislike. Like they’d probably be bottom tier, would refuse to listen to songs. But I’m procrastinating.

2010- Spain- Daniel Diges- “Algo pequenito”

Honestly I think I only remembered this song because it had a ballet dancer in it. I didn’t even notice they got stage jumped. But then again, he fits right at home with all the other chaos on stage. 

2011- Denmark- A Friend in London- “New Tomorrow”

I remember being absolutely convinced this song would win on the night because I was led to believe that only Scandinavian countries win Eurovision these days because they pay their neighbours to vote for them or whatever shit the UK media spews out and being very disappointed when it didn’t. I learnt not to trust the UK propaganda machine after that. ... Or so I thought. ANYWAYS... I just really like this song, I found it very appealing as a 14 year old going into the contest completely blind and I find it appealing as a 24 year old now. It’s a corny late 00s/early 10s pop-rock anthem, sure but... Come on, are we really expecting anything else?

2012- Spain- Pastora Soler- “Quedate Conmigo”

Is it me or was 2012 a really terrible year? I barely remember anything from it. Aside from the winner, but I haven’t been given a chance to forget it. Lucky me. It was between Spain and Iceland for 2012 for me though, I ddn’t really want to put either since I put Spain down for 2010 and Iceland for 2013, but hey, unlike with Iceland’s song I haven’t gotten sick of this one yet  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2013- Iceland-  Eythor Ingi- “Ég á Líf”

Do you know how hard it is coming from a family of Only Teardrops stans and preferring a song that’s not only not in English but also stereotypically boring? ... The answer is not at all because I refuse to tell my family which Eurovision songs I actually like. Anyways, stick with the live version of this one, I just prefer the way he sings it. It feels a lot more heartfelt and impassioned than the studio at least.

2014- Portugal- Suzy- “Quero Ser Tua”

So despite 2014 having a lot of things people remember really fondly (ie, winning entry, runner up, stage, etc) the songs were... Well, I can barely remember anything from this year aside from the winner had a beard, the Dutch sent country and Poland sent a whole lot of boobs. And also this. I liked this. I don’t remember it not qualifying though, I must’ve left the room or something. I just remember watching the final and Portugal not being there and being very :(

2015- Serbia- Bojana Stamenov- “Beauty Never Lies”

I remember being absolutely convinced this song would win on the night because I was led to believe that- I.... probably should have learnt my lesson from 2011. But to quote myself from when I was asked to review this song... “But yes, this is either my 2015 winner or runner up depending on how I’m feeling about Heroes. Which is bizarre as all Hell given how A) I don’t usually give a fuck about Balkan entries and B) It’s… really not the kind of song I’d usually gravitate towards. I’m sure you’ve seen enough of this blog to know that “I’m different and that’s a good thing” club songs aren’t exactly my cup of coffee after all. But… yeah, for some reason I just like this song. Probably my favourite Serbian entry behind Molitva if I’m honest.”

2016- France- Amir Haddad- “J’ai cherche”

Man, anyone else remember the disappointment of spending the entire ESC season listening to a song and hyping it up, only for the live performance to suck? That’s this song. Granted the studio still goes hard af, and I still like it but man, this is the song that made me realise just how much a live performance can change a song.

2017- Croatia- Jaques Houdek- “My Friend”

I was going to put Italy for this but fuck it, I wasn’t about to have another double winner because double wins make me mad. Uh, spoilers for 2018 by the way. But this song is just proof that Croatia should be the only country in Eurovision allowed to send opera songs. Namely because they’ve sent like, what, two and they’ve both been amongst my favourite entries of that year. 

2018- Italy- Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro- “Non mi avette fatto niente”

Oh my basic, basic ass fave. How I wish you’d come second. How I wish you’d come first.

2019- Malta- Michaela Pace- “Chameleon”

I ALMOST went with Romania for this, but I wanted to limit myself to one NQ winner and I blew that card on 2014. Not that it matters much because unlike 2014, I found 2019 to be a fairly strong year. Granted there were a few songs that were so shoved in my face I’d rather drink a tall glass of cold vomit than listen to them ever again (see: Soldi), but there were still a lot of songs I would probably say could make it into my top three of that country. This being one of them. Now Malta is a pretty terrible country in Eurovision, in my opinion. Their 70s entries are completely forgettable, their 90s entries are some of the worst Eurovision songs I’ve heard, and the 00s is a mix of both. Thankfully they’ve managed to clean themselves up in recent years; their 2017 and 18 entries both deserved to qualify in my opinion, and their 2019 entry is the best they’ve ever sent. 

2020- Ukraine- Go_A- “Solovey”

So 2020 blew ass in terms of songs, but this song didn’t blow ass at all let’s try and talk about it for a while. Key word being try, because I’m bored and I want to get this posted as soon as possible. Anyways, this song was love at first listen. An immediate download. Had it on loop for like, an hour. I just fell for this song, and I still absolutely love it.

Aaaand that’s a wrap! This wasn’t as fun as I’d hoped it would be, but it’s something I wanted to do for a while :D