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[yourlocaltreesimp]

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[gracieheartspedro]

For Cryin’ Out Loud

pairing: post-outbreak! joel miller x afab! reader

how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters

word count: 7.9k

description: living with joel is complicated, especially when you can’t sleep due to nightmares. when you find yourself in his bed, you can’t help yourself. but joel sure can. give him a day to mull it over.

warnings: pretty slow burn, kinda forced proximity, kinda angsty, unspecified age gap (don’t like it, don’t read it), joel gives you tons of nicknames (darlin’, kiddo, etc.), discussions of nightmares and possible mental illnesses, some fluff, reader isn’t really described, joel is kinda a gaslighter, he’s also a bit pervy, unprotected p in v (wrap it y’all), oral (f! receiving), dirty talk, joel like worships you!!!!!, joel licks his fingers clean, giving genitalia pronouns, joel’s a big boy. think that’s it. lemme know what I missed!

author’s note: I really enjoyed writing this. the idea is pretty simple but I love domestic jackson!joel. I promise i’ll try to switch it up soon and write something that isn’t jackson!era lol. support your fav fics by reblogging and commenting!! thanks love ya <3

For some reason, you always find yourself standing at the threshold of the front door when you cannot sleep. 

The air was especially brisk tonight. You wrapped yourself in a gray chunky sweater you found in the lost and found in Jackson’s thrift store, hoping to regain some warmth. Your bed may have been comfortable, but it was the place where nightmares usually plagued you. 

It was too late to be awake, and you knew that if you were caught, you would hear it from Joel. He always reprimanded you. Every time he caught you up late, it was like your father woke up and found your hand in the cookie jar. 

The dynamic between you two had changed since arriving in Jackson, and you almost resented him for it. When it was just you, him, and Ellie, you were managing a family unit. Joel was always the protective father, you being the mom or the voice of reason, and Ellie being chaos. 

When Ellie and Joel’s relationship shifted, he took on a fatherly role for you. It bothered you. A lot. 

In a moment of contemplation, you hear footsteps coming down the steps behind you. 

He’s wearing flannel pajama pants and no shirt, his hairy tummy something you did not see often. 

“What are you doing awake?” He questions, his voice groggy with a twinge of annoyance. 

You do not feel like explaining yourself, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get out of this situation without a justification. 

You huff, leaning your back against the door frame so you can get a full look at the broad man. “Can’t sleep. Thought staring into the darkness would help.”

He grunts, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “How’s that workin’ for you, sweetheart?”

You could not close your eyes without the haunting dreams that seemed lively and so real. Every night, you had the same recurring ones. You were being chased, hunted, or murdered. Or all of the above. You would wake in a cold sweat, not wanting to shut your eyelids ever again. 

“Hm,” You say, staring back outside for a brief moment, “‘Was better when you weren’t looking over my shoulder.”

He chuckles, “Get back to bed.”

“I can’t, Joel.”

“You can and will. You’re no good when you’re tired.”

“If I close my eyes, Joel, I will just have the same goddamn nightmares I have every night. And I will end up doing what I’m doing now, which is trying to get some fresh air to forget them.”

“You’re not gonna forget ‘em with some fresh air. You just need to… get over them.”

The breeze picks up as soon as he says it, almost like the world knew the tension would have to be broken with some frigid air. You retort with, “And how do you get over yours?”

"I just accept them," he says, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "I don't have time to dwell on them. There's always more important things to worry about."

"I'm more tired in the morning when I just endure them." You explain, trying not to cry about it. But you are so sick of them. The same thing every night.

“I get it. One day they will subside, I’m sure of it. But for now, you gotta-”

You just want him to shut up. At the same time, your mind is trying to remember the last time you did not have a nightmare. The memory makes your stomach churn. “You remember that one time we were forced to share that sleeping bag? Back in Pittsburgh?”

“Yeah,” His tone was wary, “What about it?”

"That was the first night I didn't have it." You explain, your voice a bit shaking at the insinuation. You don’t want to face the fact that Joel, the man that you have known for going on 10 years, kept your nightmares at bay. The same man who continuously rejected you and told you that he was old enough to be your dad. The same man that told you no, I don’t like you like that. I never will. That Joel. 

“And? Why are you bringing this up now?”

"Because every night I go to my bed and I'm forced to face them alone. When you were there... they didn't even bother holding my mind hostage.”

He took another step closer, closing some of the distance between you two. He towers over you and you can’t help but stare up at him in awe. Joel has always been a complicated part of your life. You consider him your sexual awakening, honestly, but he will never ever know that. Over the years, he’s only gotten more handsome. 

But now, he has a curious expression written all over his face.

"Are you saying you want to share a bed with me?" he asks, his voice gruff and low.

You suck in a deep breath, not wanting to answer. You knew that was stepping over a boundary for Joel. He liked his space. He didn’t like you impeding on that space, especially. Your bedroom was the furthest away from his for a reason.

"I don't know." You manage to say.

Joel's gaze darkened, his expression was completely unreadable. You wish you could read his mind, but you should be grateful you can not. 

Because in Joel’s mind, he’s trying to formulate a way to convince you to stay away from him altogether. The wall he has built over the last decade was intentional. He did not want to hurt you any further. He already knew you had feelings for him, but he was an old man. He did not want to drag you into his mess, all the baggage he carried. He looked after you, he shared a home with you, and that’s it. Strictly platonic. 

He shifted on his feet a little, unable to tear his eyes away from you. You shook like a little leaf.

"You don't know?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble.

You nod, "I don't know if I want that."

You do want that. But you want more, too. You knew you would be playing with fire. You would just be disappointed. 

Joel’s temptations are buried deep but they still fester every now and again. Some days he would catch a glance at you getting dressed in the crack of your door and have to take a cold shower. As soon as he felt those emotions bubble in his chest, he would try to distract himself. Maybe he would take a longer patrol. Maybe he would go to the Tipsy Bison and try to find a woman to take home. That one never really worked. 

“Well, what do you want then? Because standin’ at the door and letting all the cold air in ain’t gonna work for me or you.”

You look down at your picked-over fingernails and contemplate your next sentence. You don't want to be heartbroken in the morning when you wake up and he's there sleeping peacefully next to you and you're not... his.

"I want to sleep with you."

Joel was not expecting such a blunt response from you, but he appreciated you not beating around the bush about it. He gestures for you to step out of the doorway so he can shut the door, which you do. 

He looked down at you, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the exhaustion and uncertainty. 

"You sure?" he asked, his voice a gruff whisper.

You just nod as he locks the front door. You couldn’t believe you were doing this. 

Joel couldn’t believe it either. Maybe it was the tiredness or the instincts he felt to protect you, but he was not mad at the idea of sharing his bed with you. 

You signal for him to go upstairs, “You lead the way.”

-

Joel’s room was always off-limits to you. So when you step into his small little world, you take it all in. 

The artwork around the room was mainly nature landscapes. He had a big dresser right at the room's entrance with picture frames of Sarah, Ellie, and other family members. You were even included in one photo—a picture of you and him on some horses from last year. 

A shirt littered one side of the bed, so you took that as it was probably his side. Unfortunately for you, it was the right side. You felt a pang of guilt realizing you would probably end up restlessly lying in Joel’s bed if you were stuck on the left. 

Before he can pull back the blanket for himself, you stop him. 

“Uh, can I sleep on that side?”

He completely halts in his motions, turning his head towards you with a blank expression. “My side? Why?”

You lick your lips, already regretting this whole thing. 

“Because I have had this superstition since I was a kid that I could only sleep on the right side of the bed."

Joel wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. He can tell you are at war in your head about the question, your expression practically anticipating his rejection. 

"Superstitions, huh?" he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips."You and your weird beliefs."

You watch as he crosses to the other side of the bed and lifts the blanket. Is he actually letting you have his side? Maybe he doesn’t hate you. 

“You could also call it a compulsion, but superstitions seem more fun and less like a mental illness.”

He laughs this time, his deep chuckle making you feel a bit more relaxed about the situation. You did not feel like a burden as much. You walk to the right side and pull back his navy blue sheets and blanket. The spot looks warm and inviting so when you crawl in next to Joel, you start to realize that you’re back in the same situation you were in years ago in that sleeping bag. He was so close and warm and you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and keep you comfortable.

But then another thing came to mind before you could imagine his arms around you. 

You usually sleep on your right side or back, but now you don't know what to do because you didn't know how Joel slept.

"Do you sleep on your side or back?"

Joel studies you as you fidget beside him, your uncertainty causing him to smirk slightly. It was almost endearing, seeing you be completely out of control of your surroundings. He remembers back when you were traveling with him you had an obsessive need to straighten up everything before you fell asleep. You had to roll yourself up in your sleeping bag the same way every night. 

"Usually on my back," he said finally. "But I can sleep on my side, too."

You swallow, trying to picture yourself sleeping. For some reason you felt the urge to have control of the situation, dictating exactly how he has to sleep, too. "Can I... I'll sleep on my side if you can sleep on your back? Is that okay?"

Joel had to suppress a smirk at your request. You knew he was trying to hold back a snarky remark. Instead, he surprises you.

"Sure, you can sleep on your side," he agreed, shifting his body weight onto his back, "’n I'll sleep on my back. No big deal."

You turn to face him, tucking the pillow further under your head. You can tell his eyes are heavy from exhaustion. You know it's time to shut up, to go to sleep, but you feel the need to say something else to him. Sometimes your brain concocts questions and statements and you know you shouldn’t say them, but your mouth betrays you.  

"When was the last time you had a girl in your bed?"

Why the fuck would you ask that? You think to yourself. It fell out of your mouth like drool.

Joel's eyes widened at your blunt question, surprise and a hint of embarrassment coloring his expression. You knew he was probably just expecting you to lay here next to him, maybe roll around a bit, then sleep. But instead, it’s an interrogation.

He took a deep breath, his mind rattling around as he tried to think of a response. He didn't want to admit what his genuine answer was to you, but he too could not help himself.

"Why do you want to know that?" he asks, his voice steely.

You hate that he even responded because now you needed to defend yourself.

"I uh, don't know. I don't know why it matters."

Joel chuckled softly, noting that you probably just had a case of word vomit. You always told him you were infamous for putting your foot in your mouth, especially in awkward situations.

"Curiosity got the better of you, huh?" he asks, rubbing his face with his hands. “You just can’t help yourself, sweetheart.”

He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side to face you, his gaze studying your expression.

You smirk, grateful that he's letting it slide. When he turns onto his side and he's at eye level with you, your face drops a bit. He is ruining the vision in your head. He’s throwing a wrench in your plans.

"You're supposed to be on your back, sir."

Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your comment. He knew he was supposed to be on his back, but the new angle allowed him to see you better in the faint moonlight.

"Don't worry," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "I'll turn back over in a minute. Just... enjoying the view for a bit."

You roll your eyes, lifting your hands from under the covers and lightly hitting his arm. You knew he was just fucking with you now. 

"Okay, for that, I want to know the answer to my stupid question."

Joel let out a low laugh, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. He shook his head, amused by your persistence. You start to think about it and you have never really seen him bring anyone home. Maybe it had been a very long time and he was embarrassed. 

"Alright, alright," he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. "Last time I had a girl in my bed..."

He paused for a moment, his eyes dropping to the covers, his mind racing to find the right words.

"Go on..."

Joel took another deep breath, his voice dropping even lower as he spoke.

"It's been a long time, kiddo," he admitted, his voice pierced with a bit of shame. "Almost ten years, if I'm being honest."

Your eyes widen in surprise. "No way... You've never just... got it on with someone in bed?"

Joel's face flushed with embarrassment at your blunt question, a mix of shock and slight irritation flashing across his eyes.

"Jesus, you really don't hold back, do ya?" he muttered. He shifts a bit, trying to get comfortable in a different way. He hadn't expected the conversation to turn so personal, so quickly and he did not want to face you anymore. He was mortified. 

You mentally slap yourself in the face.

"I'm sorry, I am just tired and delusional. Uh, you don't have to answer that."

Joel could practically feel the humiliation radiating off you and he too felt the exact same way. You knew how to add to an already awkward situation.

"No, no, it's fine," he reassured you, his voice a bit gentler now. "I get it. You're tired, and your filter has taken a backseat."

"Yeah, exactly..."

He shifted on the bed, turning onto his back again, his gaze shifting to the ceiling, avoiding your curious stare.

You could not help but stare at his side profile. A prominent straight nose. His downturned lips are surrounded by some fine lines that show his age. He was a beautiful man now, but you can’t help but imagine him back in his 20s. He had to have been a hit with the ladies back then.

Joel could feel your gaze on him, studying his face. And while you were not scrutinizing him, he felt like a commodity in a museum or something.  He forced himself to keep his gaze on the ceiling, refusing to meet your eyes.

"So… ten years and no sex?”

You could seriously, not help yourself.

"Correct.” He grumbles, still not meeting your stare.

"Damn, Joel." You mutter, adjusting a bit to sit up a little more on your pillow. "I seriously thought you were sleeping around the whole time we have been in Jackson.”

He finally turns your way, a bit of offense on his face. “Why would you think that?”

You shrug, not wanting to insult him. But that’s how you formulated your grudge towards him. It was easy to just chalk everything up to problems with random women you have seen around town. 

“You just give off the energy…”

“What?”

You huff, laying back on the pillow. “I don’t know, Joel! I feel like when I’m around you all the ladies think you’re handsome. They stare.”

“They are staring because you’re always following me around and we aren’t married or… together. They think we are odd.” 

You had never heard such things around Jackson, but it does sort of make sense. Everyone was probably just confused because you two lived together but were not a couple. You can admit it is bizarre, but it just did not feel like an option any other way, in your mind. So Tommy gave you two a bigger house and you set up separate rooms. 

But in actuality, Joel secretly told Tommy that he did not want you too far from him. So when Tommy couldn’t give you any other houses nearby, Joel just told him that you two would be roommates.

“Well fuck ‘em.” You mutter, trying not to sound too offended by the thought of people gossiping about you two.

Joel just nods. You settle by tucking your arm under your pillow. You yawn, the exhaustion now taking over your body. You watch Joel grab a pair of reading glasses from the side table and a book. You decide not to bother him, especially because he probably wanted to just read himself to sleep instead of being interrogated by you any further.

You close your eyes and eventually fall asleep. The deeper you get, Joel notices how your breathing pattern changes. When he’s finally ready to get some shut-eye as well, he watches as your body crawls closer to him. Your arm swings over his stomach and rests on his forearm. He is so shocked he does not move a muscle. 

You adjust some more, not knowing what you are doing. Your leg creeps up and tucks right between his. You snuggle your face right into his chest. The only movement Joel decides to make is slinging his arm over your shoulders to pull you in tighter. 

It’s the first time in years that you two slept soundly, with no interruptions. No nightmares, no sudden intrusions, nothing. Silence and snores fill the room and that’s it.

-

When you wake up, it’s slow and gradual. Your brain hardly computes that you’re laying on top of Joel’s shirtless frame, until your hand runs across his warm tummy. 

You crook your neck up, looking at the handsome man you are spreading across. 

His lips are slightly ajar, letting out hardly-there snores. They are so pretty and pink and you cannot help but touch them with feather-like fingertips. You would feel so guilty waking him up-

His eyes slowly open taking notice of your actions even though you tried not to stir him. Your eyes fly open in shock, but he does not seem very annoyed. He smiles. 

“Mornin’ darlin’,” He says in a deep sleep-laced voice. You smile back at him, loving that he decided to call you the nickname you always got giddy over. You press your fingers into his chest before replying.

“I didn’t have a nightmare.”

His hand comes up from your shoulders and tucks some hair behind your ear as he stares down at you, “That’s good kiddo. I’m glad you slept well.”

The intimacy is almost too much. The way this is how it would be if you woke up to Joel every morning. It sends your brain into overdrive and you force yourself to ruin it a bit.

“Woulda slept even better if you didn’t talk so much in your sleep.”

Joel froze for a moment, his cheeks immediately flushing pink with embarrassment. He sits up a bit more, adjusting to the brighter lighting in his room. He knew he had a problem with talking in his sleep. Ellie used to talk about it all the time. He dreaded hearing what he was saying while curled up next to you.

"Uh... what did I say?" he asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Something about it felt so good to be pressed up against someone, I don't know..." 

You could not help yourself and started to laugh. You knew you were going to get a rise out of him. 

Joel's face flushed an even deeper shade of pink as you started to laugh, clearly amused by your joke. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, his mind racing as he tried to come up with an excuse. He was just dreaming, it was not about you. 

"W-what?" he spluttered out instead of making an excuse. "I didn't... I didn't say anything like that."

You have a shit-eating grin on your face and you press your hands on his chest to prop yourself up. You enjoyed watching him squirm.

Joel's eyes flickered down to your hands on his chest. He sickly thought they felt so right placed there. He imagined what you would look like fully mounting him. 

He tried to keep his expression neutral, but you could see through his stone-cold exterior.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" he grumbled, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Fully fuckin' with you." You giggle, hoping he is not really that mad at you. 

“You’re a brat.”

You move your foot slightly, running it up his leg. It sends shockwaves up his body, having you so close and moving around so seamlessly. 

"No, you said something about how beautiful, alluring, and incredible I am. Said I was the girl of your dreams…"

"Yeah, right," he said, a hint of playful sarcasm in his voice. "You expect me to believe that?"

"So, you don't believe me?"

"No, I don't believe you," he says, his voice stern but playful. "I think you're a dirty little liar, trying to play me for a fool."

"A dirty little liar, huh? Well, it's good to know that you don't think I'm beautiful, alluring, and incredible." You giggle at his acknowledgment, knowing he caught you red-handed.

"Oh, I never said that," he smirked, a hint of teasing in his voice. "You are all of those things, darlin’. But you're also a dirty little liar who likes to play games."

"So you think I'm beautiful?" You crack, the biggest smile painted on your face. You don’t even care that he’s calling you a liar because it does not matter. Joel thinks you are beautiful. 

“‘Course I do.”

You push yourself up onto your butt, sitting crisscross next to him. He secretly wishes you were still curled up on top of him. 

“You always this nice in the morning?” You ponder, your fingertips starting to toy with the hair on his stomach. He tries not to pay mind to it, letting you have full access to touch him. 

But it’s driving him insane. The way you look freshly woken up, completely enamored with the idea of him calling you beautiful. You have some puffiness under your eyes and your lips are more swollen than usual.

“I am always nice to you.”

You let out a scoff, “No, you’re not.”

He notices the shift in your tone and starts to get defensive, “Now you’re just lyin’.” 

Joel always loved to gaslight you in these situations. You knew better than to let him get away with it, especially now. “No there was that one time you told me you did not like me and that you would never like me. How you are old enough to be my dad-”

“Because I am!”

And there’s the wall. The only constant in you two’s relationship. He was so good at throwing it up when feelings were being expressed. When vulnerability was presented, Joel could not help but reject it. 

“And the world’s fuckin’ ended, Joel! Big deal!” You almost yell, moving your hands from him. 

Why does he already miss your hands?

He huffs, crossing his arms over his soft chest. “We have had this conversation for the last 10 years.’M not sure why we keep rehashing it.”

“And every time you turn me down it’s another fuckin’ stab in the heart.”

“You know why we can’t,” He practically growls. You can not stand to even look at him anymore with your bitterness and irritation taking over. 

“Whatever, Joel.” 

As soon as you say it, you’re already leaving his room and heading to your own. When you slam the door, you hope you have made your point. You want to scream and punch a hole in the wall, but instead you just furiously stomp around the room and grab your clothes. You had patrol at noon, so you needed to get to the mess hall before breakfast was over. You try not to cry as you strip down and get dressed.

Joel sits in bed, reeling. He hates that it has become a conversation every six months. He hated that rejecting you always sent you into a spiral of hating him for extended periods. It’s not that he did not want you, it was simply just not in the cards. He was too old to be in love. He was too old to play house with you. He just could not submit to the idea of leading you on, especially because you had so much more life to live. 

He finally works up the courage to get out of bed and put on some clothes. He opts for putting on his typical jeans and thick flannel. It was getting colder and he knew by the end of the winter, you would end up with half his flannels anyway, so he had to enjoy them while he had them. 

You storm downstairs, going to the back door for your boots when you spot him in the kitchen. 

“You got pat-”

“Yes.” You respond quickly, shoving your foot into your shoes. He stands behind you with a mug full of tea, watching your every move. 

“Who are you-”

“Jesse.”

He was asking his usual questions, which you were not in the mood to answer. 

“Hey, can you-”

You snap your head back at him, giving him the glare you gave him as a warning usually. By now, he takes it as a hint and backs off. But not this time. 

“Can I what?”

He rolls his eyes, “Can you fuckin’ not be a brat about this?”

You wish your glare came with knives. If that were the case, Joel Miller would be dead on his kitchen floor. 

You are so thrown off by the question that you just watch him get angrier when you do not respond. 

“Are you serious, right now?” You press, keeping your voice from cracking. 

He brings the mug up to his mouth, taking an obnoxious sip. When he pulls the mug away, you notice how steaming it is. “You always pull this shit-”

“No, you do! You do this shit to me every fuckin’ time, Joel. You sweet talk me, make me feel comfortable, have me lapping everything up in the palm of your hands, and then you snatch it away. Then have the audacity to get mad at me!”

You are yelling now and it is throwing him off. Joel knows better than to interrupt you like you do to him. You were the kind of person who would calm down if you felt heard. 

The way he knew you down to your core made this all so painful. Because if he was not so stubborn and true to his convictions, he would have fucked you the moment you touched his lips this morning. 

“I ain’t tryin’ to make this harder than-” “Too fuckin’ late.”

You think back to the moment last night when you knew you were going to hurt your own feelings by sleeping with him. You knew better, yet here you are, still blaming him for your stupidity.

He stands there, still holding his mug, staring you down like a wounded doe who got pierced with an arrow. He feels guilty like he misled you. Before he can say anything, you are lacing up your boots and leaving out the front door without another word. 

-

All day long, Joel wanders around the house trying to get rid of the pit in his stomach. Nothing works. A shower. Reading a book. Cutting wood. As soon as he tried to use laundry as a distraction, he reached into his hamper and found one of your t-shirts. He held it close and smelled it, trying to wrap his head around how he got here. 

You spend all day, silently fuming on horseback with Jesse. When he tries to get you to open up, you ice him out and tell him to focus on the trail in front of him. 

You get back by sundown, the sun setting making it a lot chiller than you expected. You decide to take the long way home, wanting to avoid being home for as long as possible. You were not ready to face Joel, let alone share a space with him. But unfortunately, during your patrol, you fell into some mud and needed a shower. The more time it spent on your clothes and body, the grosser you felt. 

You open the front door, announcing that you are home. It was a habit you and Joel developed after you both pulled guns on each other during late-night arrivals. 

You hear Joel mumble something from the living room, but you do not stop to listen and continue on your way upstairs to the bathroom. 

You strip down as soon as the door is closed, tossing your muddy clothing into a hamper in the corner. You would get them washed and hung as soon as you shower off. 

You hear Joel’s footsteps creaking around the upstairs hallway as you scrub your body with homemade soap and warm water. 

When you start to dry yourself off, you hear Joel grunting something in the hallway. You wrap yourself in a towel and peek your head out the door. He’s on his hands and knees wiping something off the hardwood. “What’s goin’ on?”

He looks up at you, your body only covered in a bleach-stained blue towel. It makes his head spin. He can’t even be mad that you tracked in mud. 

He swallows, gripping the cloth he’s using tighter. “You got mud everywhere.”

You step out, not even really thinking about the fact that you are not properly dressed in front of Joel. You were still mad at him, anyway. Who cares what he thinks?

“Sorry, I could’ve cleaned it up.”

He returns to wiping the wood, “It’s fine, I got it, kiddo.”

You accept his response and move on to your room, but the draft you leave behind drifts to Joel’s nostrils. Your soap smells like lavender and it always sends his mind racing when you are fresh from a shower. He clears his throat, trying to get through the emotions filling his chest. 

But it’s been like this all day. You’re all around him even when you’re not physically here. How can he get away from you? Why is he trying to run in the first place?

He’s on his knees in your hallway, cleaning up your mess, sniffing the air you leave behind because he’s fucking in love with you and he cannot help himself anymore. 

Joel starts to think about how peaceful he felt having you next to him last night and how he would love to feel that way every night. For once he’s not thinking about what everyone else would think. For once he’s thinking selfishly and caving into every desire he has ever pondered about you. How would you feel under him? How would your lips feel pressed against his pulse point? 

His body was on fire, thinking about you. 

You are fiddling with some clothes in your dresser after you flick on the overhead light. You do not hear him come into your room behind you. 

You are so wrapped up in your own thoughts that when he clears his throat to announce he’s in your room, you scream. Loud. 

“For cryin’ out loud, woman!” 

You grip your towel tighter when you turn and see him standing at your mercy. 

“Joel, what the fuck?” You yell, gesturing to the fact that you are practically naked. He does not care, of course, and his ears are ringing from your piercing scream. He gathers himself as you shift back, trying to create some distance from him.

He is trying not to gawk at the fact that your grip on the towel against your chest is only pushing up your cleavage. He’s biting back everything. “Can we talk?”

“Talk about what? The fact you crept into my room when I was trying to change? Are we past boundaries now?” 

You are pissed, trying not to rattle off another million things to discuss with him. He’s only really talking about one thing. 

He scoffs at your last statement. “Boundaries were already out the window when you crawled into bed with me last night.”

Silence fills the room as you completely stop breathing. The anger you originally felt dissipates. 

“Joel-“

“I ain’t doin’ this back and forth anymore,” He starts shifting in his spot, unsure if he really should be doing this. “I can’t live how I've been livin’. Somethin’s gotta give.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. 

“You are the one who won’t give, Joel.”

As soon as you say it, he practically drags himself over to you. Completely destitute. You have never seen him look so desperate before. You can tell that he’s been at war with himself ever since you left this morning. His eyes never lied.

His hand creeps up your bare arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

But then you remember his words from this morning. You start feeling like this is just a moment of weakness for him and that he will regret it later. You had to stop it before it was too late. You did not want to deal with the consequences. 

“Joel, you said we can’t-”

“Fuck what I said,” He cuts you off, “Do you want this?”

You stare into those brown eyes, searching for a sign of hesitance. You cannot believe Joel is being this vulnerable with you. 

But, you do want him. God, you have wanted him so badly for so long. You have searched for him in every man you have ever been with since knowing him. 

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. He takes note of your parted lips, every word failing you at that moment.

“Darlin’-”

“Yes,” You finally manage. “Yes, I do want this.”

It’s all he needs. He closes the gap between you two by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his space. His lips crash onto yours, not wasting another breath of air waiting to indulge in his sickest fantasies. 

You are all Joel ever dreamed about. He knew that once he caved and physically gave in, his world would be shot and everything would revolve around you. For years it had been a teetering object on a cliff, one nudge would have him falling. He always managed. But now, he was falling head first. 

His lips move so perfectly with your own. Your hand released your towel and found the tufts of his curls at the base of his head. You did not care that the article pooled around your feet, leaving you completely bare in front of Joel. You have wanted this all along. To be uncovered, to be stripped down to the rawest form. He broke the kiss briefly just to scan your naked body, his forehead pressed against your own. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

Your heart stutters as his hand traces your stomach down to your hips, all the way down to your ass. He stops there, grabbing a handful. 

“I need you,” You choke out before pressing your lips to his over and over again. “Right now.”

He mumbles “jump” into your mouth and you do so, his hands working quickly to hike you up onto his waist. He carries you to your bed, wasting no time dropping you onto your back. 

He cannot get enough of your soft, swollen lips. Every time he pulls away slightly, he dives in again even more aggressively than the last time. 

You are so hypnotized by the way he feels on top of you. In the light, he seems so much broader than he was last night. He’s still fully clothed, to your dismay. You start to tug at his shirt, motioning him to remove the articles that are in your way. 

He throws off his shirt before he stands up at the edge of the bed and pushes down his jeans. 

“Joel… I-“

He just shuts you up with another passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth like he’s trying to melt into your mouth. Your hands trail up his back, gripping onto his shoulders, holding him down so he is pressing against your nude body. 

“God, I have wanted this for so long,” He sputters, trying not to sound too desperate. “Been wanting this.”

That’s when his hand reaches down between your thighs and gathers the wetness your slit has to offer. His fingers dance across it, starting from the top all the way to your spongy entrance. 

“Please, Joel.”

He loves the lust-laced tone you speak with when you say his name. It almost makes him cum there and then. 

You watch as he makes his way down your body, peppering kisses from your shoulder to your hip. When he parts your legs, you feel quite exposed. The adrenaline of being so spread for him manifests into a moan. 

“You are divine, baby.”

The use of that adjective is so-not-Joel that it makes you giggle. He notes your reaction and decides to sink down into you. When his mouth gets close to your core, it’s no longer a laughing matter. 

He uses his fingers again, using them to spread open your pussy lips. He cannot keep his eyes away from how dripping you are. “This all for me?”

“Y-yes, Joel.”

“God, I was a fuckin’ fool for so long. Could’ve had her earlier and I never fuckin’ caved. Such an idiot.”

Him giving your cunt pronouns was enough to have you throwing your head back and shuttering. His touch was magnetic like he knew exactly what buttons to push as he rubbed his fingers and palm over your core. 

“Yeah, you’ve been missin’ out. Every night…” You swallow before looking down at the man that is enamored with your pussy, “E-every night I would lay in this bed, fuckin’ myself just thinkin’ about you.”

He growls at the statement, before teasingly kissing your clit. “Every night, hm, kiddo?”

“God, yes.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as he leans forward more and dives in. His nose is pressed firmly against the top of your pussy, nudging forward every time his tongue enters your hole. When that motion became consistent, you began to note the rumblings in the pit of your stomach. A familiar build-up that you managed to get when you were playing with yourself. 

His fingers move in tandem with his lips and tongue. While his middle and pointer finger slide in and out of you, his lips wrap around your clit. It’s overwhelming and all-consuming. 

You do not know where to center yourself, so your hands grip the bed sheets you were completely soaking as Joel pulls the first orgasm out of you. 

“That’s it, baby, she’s cryin’ for me, hm?”

You hardly make a noise, the orgasm is so earth-shattering that you just writhe on the mattress. 

“Oh my god…” You groan, finally able to catch your breath. When Joel removes his fingers from you, you watch as he slowly brings them up to his lips.

When he inserts them in his mouth, you gawk at him, unsure how to react. He watches your expression and chuckles darkly.

“Mm, never seen a man enjoy the taste of ya?”

You shake your head. “Never expected to hear those words leave your mouth, either.”

“Wait ‘til you hear what else I got to say.”

He stands up beside the bed, grabs your hips, and brings them to the edge. He is tossing you around with ease, bringing your lower body flush with his. He yanks down his briefs, revealing himself to you. You instantly take notice of how well-endowed he is. You never thought you would ever be close to his cock, let alone have it lining up at your entrance. 

“Joel…“ You stop him with your small voice, but still welcoming him in with your legs opened wide, “I don’t know if it will fit.”

He grins, “It will, baby. Just relax for me, okay?”

You watch him slide his member along your center, the feeling so blissfully overstimulating. You whine a bit, raising your hips to his. 

But Joel continues his torture, enjoying the way you’re squirming under him. The way your eyebrows are knitted together, your eyes shut as you grind up into him. It’s the prettiest sight. 

“Ready?”

Your eyes fly open as you watch him ease his way into your core, the sound of squelching filling the room. You don’t think you have ever been this wet for someone. 

“Oh my fuckin’ god, Joel…”

He smiles as he inches in, “Squeezin’ my cock so good, darlin’.”

When he’s fully sheathed inside, he tests the waters by drawing out slowly. You roll your hips in a circle, trying to feel out every inch of him. He fits, but you know once he starts to move faster, the stretch will become overwhelming. 

He’s trying to focus and not blow his load immediately. You look so beautiful below him, your tits slowly shifting back and forth every time he draws back and forth. He reaches out, wanting to feel the flesh between his fingers. God, he craved every inch of you, he realizes. 

You open your legs as far as you can, letting him hit you at a different angle. The movement allows him to slip in a bit more seamlessly, so when he speeds up his thrusts, you don’t feel like you will completely split in half. 

He brings your leg up to hips, and feeling your soft delicate skin against him makes him lose all sense. His hips snap faster the more you moan out for him. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, girl. I can’t believe I was missin’ out on this cunt,” He babbles, “Need this cunt every day from now on. Gonna have you all to myself every night.”

You are too fucked out of your mind to read into those implications.

“‘M all yours, Joel.”

He smiles, slowing down a bit. “Keep talkin’ like that and ‘ll finish a lot sooner than you.”

You sit up a bit, your eyes flickering over his entire body. He notices you checking out his nude frame, which makes him feel a bit more bold. He leans down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. You love the way his tongue slips into your mouth so effortlessly. When he opens his mouth, his facial hair tickles your nose a bit which makes you smile. When his hips pick back up to a quicker pace, it sends you gasping into his mouth.

“Please, Joel,” You whine, that familiar build starts up but this time it’s like a freight train. Moving so quickly down every nerve ending in your body. “I’m gonna cum.”

“‘M with you, darlin’. Soak this dick. I’m right behind ya.”

His dirty talk causes the crash. Your body practically lifts off the mattress. You cry out so loud you are sure a neighbor could hear you. You try to gain your bearings, but you are panting like you just ran a mile. 

Joel fucks you through it, but the restriction your pussy is putting on his cock sends him over the edge. His hips stutter into yours, his seed emptying into your spent hole. He just keeps repeating your name as his thrusts slow down.

He has never had such a visceral orgasm in his life. His knees are weak and can hardly keep up his weight. He practically falls on top of you, which does not offend you at all. His warm sweaty body on top of you is almost reassuring. 

“You okay, kiddo?” He finally mutters as his hot breath fans the nape of your neck. You just nod, bringing your hand up to his salt and pepper hair. You tug lightly, smiling to yourself. 

“I’m more than okay.”

He finally sits up, his cock spilling out of you as he adjusts his position. Your hole drips a mixture of cum onto your newly clean sheets, but you could care less. It’s just another thing to hand wash tonight.

Joel stumbles to the middle of the room, picking up your bath towel. He uses it to wipe himself up before coming over to you. Your legs are still slightly apart so he decides to clean you up a bit. He’s gentle, knowing that you are probably still sensitive.

Once he finishes up, he crawls next to you as you continue to recover. Your bones felt like jello so standing up to adjust yourself was not an option.

So instead of facing him, you stare up at your ceiling fan as his eyes lock onto every detail of your profile. It brings him back to one night you two shared under the stars a couple of years ago. It was his turn to keep watch so you curled up in your sleeping bag by the fire. He admired you from across the flames, the orange hues lit up every angle of your face. It was at that moment that Joel realized that he could not picture his life without you. You had weaseled your way into every facet of his life and he used to resent the impact you had on him. You were younger, more patient but still stubborn like him. You made him laugh, like genuinely laugh, for the first time since the infection. While you may have been a bit impulsive with your emotions, he envied the way you could say exactly what you were thinking. 

Joel did not want to love you, but it was impossible not to. 

You finally look over at him, noticing the softness in his gaze.

“Are you okay?” You pose, scrunching your nose. 

He gives you a toothless smile, his eyes crinkling a bit. “I just can’t wait to sleep next to you for the rest of my life.”

tags of people I love and who may wanna read (no pressure I just love u) (some of u did ask tho) : @ashleyfilm @hockeyhughes @pedrospookie @guiltyasdave @amanitacowboy @myownwholewildworld

[the-thing-withfeathers]

SAVE A HORSE…

a/n: this is part 1 to a two or three part series!! this is probably the first time i’ve written anything in a LONG ASS TIME. but i hope y’all enjoy it, i’ll be writing more of cowgirl!mads soon. i was gonna do it all in one go but i realise this shit is CHUNKY AS HELL 😫 so please be patient with me while i get part 2 out! i promise y’all it’ll get steamier, i just gotta set the scene!

update: read part 2 here!

pairing: cowgirl!madison beer x f!reader

tws: parental arguments, eventual smut, mention of horse shit— literally.

summary: you’re a little bit of a delinquent and your parents have had enough. they send you to your grandparents farm where you’re put to the test and humbled to the bone. however, they have an incredibly hot farmhand that just might make it all worth it.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

“we didn’t raise you to be like this.”

“well, who else did?!”

sitting at the back of your parents’ truck, it was almost reminiscent of the back of the police car. you were on your way to a different kind of prison anyways. your parents were talking over the faint noise of the radio while you sat in silence.

you were on your way to your grandparents’ farm. it was hard to believe that your bull-wrangling nan & pop were so different from your corporate parents, you begin to wonder how your mom was raised on that land.

as the truck came to a stop, your parents turned around to face you.

“hey kiddo, it’s only temporary. you know we’re only doing this cause we love you…”

“whatever.” you said, blowing a raspberry at them while you took your earphones out and tucked them into your bag’s side pocket.

your parents turned back to face each other, sheepish smiles starting to form on their faces. they began to question if they were doing the right thing, but as far as you were concerned, there wasn’t any going back from here.

you saw an older couple start to walk towards the driveway, massive smiles on their faces like they didn’t have a care in the world. your dad stepped out of the driver’s seat to shake your grandfather’s hand while your mom gave your grandmother a hug. you watched them talk for a while before your dad opened your door up.

“dad… please… i’ll do anything…” you whispered as the smell of fresh manure hit your nostrils.

“this is anything.” he muttered before turning to the back of the truck and grabbing two luggages out.

you sighed in defeat and hopped out of the truck, lugging your backpack along with you. your grandparents looked at you with pity, they know what happened but it seems like they’re the first people not to hold it against you. your grandmother slowly approached, opening her arms as you walked towards her and gave her a stiff hug.

“i’m sorry sweetie, i know you would probably prefer to stay home. but we’ll try and do right by you as much as we can, alright?” she whispered softly into your ear. it took everything in you not to break down right then and there. after all, you haven’t seen your grandparents in a while, who were you to start crying out of nowhere?

your grandfather stood behind your grandmother with a sad smile. you two used to be so close when you were a kid. in his old age, he never failed to chase you around while you were still a bundle of energy. you know he tried not to show it but you couldn’t help but see disappointment behind those eyes.

“welp, that’s the last of it.” your dad walked back down the driveway, you hadn’t even realised that your parents walked your luggage all the way to the house already.

“you’re not staying for dinner?” your grandfather asked.

“nah, not a long drive ahead of us.” your mom said, standing next to her dad to give him a hug.

your parents & grandparents exchanged goodbyes before your parents walked up to you.

“six months, that’s all it is. then we’ll be right back.” your mom reassured you. she tried to hug you but you stepped back. she huffed. “you’ll be grateful, y’know?” she said, her tone a bit more harsh. she turned sharply and walked her way back to the car.

your dad just gave you a wave, noticing that interaction you had. he thought it would be better to just keep his distance. all you did was nod at him.

they drove off into the sunset, leaving you behind. in the middle of nowhere.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

your grandparents had dinner set up on the table before you even got there. it smelled amazing, you’ll give them that. you were starved from the drive, choosing to hang back from the pit stop.

they both sat down, inviting you to join them. the first few minutes of dinner were silent, to be fair though, you were kind of wolfing down the chili that grandma had cooked. you put some on your plate then it was gone in the blink of an eye.

your grandfather cleared his throat.

“you know, despite everything. we’re glad to have you here. it’s been a really long time since you’ve come to visit the farm. we’ve always come to the city but… this might be a blessing in disguise.” he said through the spoonful of chili in his mouth. you almost laughed at the sight of him, cracking a smile instead.

“it looks like how i remember it, pop.” you shrugged, glancing around the dining room.

“we try to keep it that way, baby.” your grandma chimed in. “this place is full of memories. memories are meant to be remembered!” she said with a jump in her tone.

“i’m going to disappoint you both. you know i’m not made for farm work.” you sneered a little bit, thinking of the 6am wake-up—

“5am wake upright not your thing?” fuck.

thinking of the 5am wake up— was not sitting well with you.

“no. not at all.” you shook your head, pushing your plate backwards. “i don’t even see animals on a daily basis, the most we get in the city are pigeons. i don’t even have the right clothes!”

“we took care of that!” your grandma excitedly said. “you’ve got enough clothes to last you a week then you’ll have to wash them. we tried to keep it as stylish as possible.”

you know she was just trying to make you feel better. there was no way you were going to be able to pull off the expected flannel get-up.

silence fell over the table as your grandparents finished their food as well. you stood up from the table, ready to head to your bedroom.

“oh— well— now hang on sweetie—“ your grandmother interjected. “you have to excuse yourself… and even then, someone’s gotta help with the washing up.”

you frozen in place and sighed dejectedly. you start clumsily piling the plates together and heading for the sink. you had no idea what you were doing, lazily scrubbing the plates.

when you were done, you made your way up to your bedroom where the open closet was full of new clothes. you knew you would have to work double time to pull them off. your thoughts were interrupted by footsteps.

“you can sleep in tomorrow but you’ll be expected to join us in checking on everything. it’ll be general upkeep. you’ll also meet our best farmhand, she’ll mainly be the one showing you the ropes around here.” your grandmother stood at the doorway. you simply nodded at her and rubbed your eyes.

“night, dear.” she said, stepping back and walking back down the hallway.

“night…” you mumbled, too soft for her to hear.

you changed yourself into a matching pajama set, you stuck out like a damn sore thumb. you’d have to figure out something else to wear to bed if you wanted to avoid all the teasing.

safe to say, as your eyes fell shut almost immediately, tomorrow was going to be hard.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

as much as you would’ve liked to sleep in until the double digits, your grandparents failed to tell you that they trained a rooster.

you yawned as you started to stir, covering your ears to drown out the endless crowing of this damned rooster. you shut your eyes as tight as you could but nothing seemed to work. you opened your phone to see that first and foremost, there were barely any bars around but enough to get decent signal. secondly, it was 5am— they really meant it when they said 5am wake-up call. you slowly sat up in bed, glancing over at your suitcases then glancing over at your closet. you had a choice to make.

after about eight wardrobe changes, you made your way downstairs in a red & black flannel tucked into some high rise blue jeans. your grandparents were already at the table eating some breakfast.

“well this is a surprise. i take it you’ve met sunny.” your grandfather snorted.

“sunny?” you asked.

“the rooster.” he laughed softly. “he’s a bit relentless. sorry darl, i know you wanted to sleep in. but hey, you’ll be regulating your sleep schedule in no time—“ your grandfather was cut off by the backdoor swinging open.

oh. my. god.

when your grandparents said farmhand, you were expecting a bucktoothed scrawny cowboy from buttfuck nowhere. this woman was gorgeous.

dark brunette with highlights. piercing brown eyes that you couldn’t stop looking away from. an open blue flannel tied up where a low cut gray tanktop could be seen. high rise jeans that were just ever so slightly lighter than yours. a beige cowgirl hat sitting perfectly on her head.

“good mornin’ sir, ma’am.” and a fucking southern drawl to die for.

“madison! this is our granddaughter.” your grandfather said from the table. “why don’t you join us for breakfast and get to know each other a little bit better.”

you stood there stunned, you have no idea if you drooled a little bit.

“sure thing, sir. you know i love the food in this household.” she took her hat off, resting it on one of the hooks by the door. “thank you, ma’am.” she said as your grandmother served her a plate. she sat down on the side with two empty chairs, prompting you to sit down next to her.

you slowly lowered yourself into the chair, still looking over at her.

“what? did you expect a man?” madison felt your eyes on her.

“maybe.” you choked out, slowly serving yourself a plate. “not that i’m complaining. i’m actually kind of glad that you aren’t a man.” you shrug.

“oh honey—“ honey?! “i’m so much better.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

the next hour was absolutely dreadful. your grandparents tasked madison with showing you around the farm. you thought they’d come along until they were loading up your grandfather’s truck, saying how they had to go to the shops. you also thought you knew the farm well enough in your memories, you were completely wrong.

madison took you around the farm in her truck. from the unfenced area that your grandfather and her had yet to finish from the massive pile of stinking manure where they wanted to start a garden, it was hard to keep your eyes off her. the hat on her head, her hand on the stickshift that should be between—

“my favorite place! the barn.” she stopped the truck, parking it just in front of an incredibly large big red barn. has that always been there? “your grandparents expanded it since you were a kid.”

“you talk like you’re so much older than me. you look my age.”

“well, that’s for me to know and you to find out.” she hopped out of the truck, waiting for you to follow.

the truck being so high up made you need to jump. you heard her chuckle softly witnessing the sight. “shut up. i’ll get the hang of it.”

“i’m sure you will.” she said, pulling open the door. immediately, you heard stomping. horses.

“caring for the animals will be the most tasking thing here. i know it sounds more appealing than shovelling dirt but dirt doesn’t have hooves!” she said, walking towards a beautiful brown stallion. “i’ve made it my personal goal to make sure that you and this fella get at least past acquaintances.” she put her boot on one of the hinges on the low door keeping his stable closed, swinging herself over and sitting down on the door. “this is stanley.”

“stanley? i was expecting a different name.” you snickered.

“hey, your grandpa named him. you’ll have to ask him about the name.” she pet stanley’s head gently, he let out noises that you weren’t sure were affectionate or grumpy.

you took a step forward, reaching your hand out to the stallion. he immediately snorted and took several steps back, shaking his head while madison pulled on his reigns to calm him.

“woaaah, buddy.” she said, patting his head. “he doesn’t warm up to people very often.” she said with a laugh before turning to face you. your face was dropped like you’d just been kicked in the gut. in your head, you were asking yourself if your energy was so bad that not a single animal would like you.

“they have so many animals.” you whispered, breaking your gaze away from stanley & madison, trying to fill the silence. you were slightly intimidated by the noises in the barn. oinks, bleeting, more that you couldn’t identify. you were sure they had even more animals than that too. you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to calm the anxiety.

madison looked over at you, dismounting the door she was sitting on. she came closer to you.

“it’ll be okay. you’ll get the hang of it.” she reassured you with a smile. “when your grandparents told me about you and yours, i thought you’d be more… snappy— angry about this. coming from the city, i mean.”

“i’m not. i’m not angry. i’m just gonna let my grandparents down—“ you scoffed suddenly. “i don’t know why i’m telling you this anyway.” you walked off, shutting yourself off and looking around at all the other stables.

“there’s the snappy!” madison called after you, following shortly after.

you kept walking as the sound of her boots followed.

“hey, you’ll be alright. it took me a while to get on stanley’s good side too.” she said, trying to reassure you again.

“uh huh.” you said, “but you aren’t me.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

when your grandparents returned home, you and madison were just getting back from your trip. madison immediately hopped out of the truck before it even stopped to help your grandparents. you stayed back until she signalled for you to help too— were you really that out of touch?

you walked towards your grandfather, taking the bags from him. “here, let me.” you said and he shot you a surprised smile, watching you walk into the house.

when all the bags were moved in, the sun was just about to set.

“would you like dinner, madison?” your grandmother asked. you eyed the brunette as you helped put away the groceries, your grandfather showing you where everything went.

“no, thank you, ma’am. i better be getting back home. my family will be waiting for me.” she said, walking towards the front door.

“well, thanks for all your hard work today. we appreciate you being part of the welcome party.” your grandma joked. “we’ll see you again tomorrow.” she said, handing madison a handful of cash. she nodded and tipped her hat at you.

“was nice to meet you, snappy.” she said, smirking at you. you felt your breath hitch in your throat from the newly acquired nickname. you only waved in response.

maybe the farm wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[vqnrouged]

𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝐜��𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 : the canaries (mithrun, pattadol, fleki, lycion)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : the canaries with a reader that’s scared of thunder

𝐚/𝐧 : if you understand the reference in the title, i love you. but anyways, it’s a crime that there’s barely any content for the canaries so i wrote some hcs/short scenarios for some of them! sorry if this seems occ, it’s my first time writing for them. anyways, hope y’all enjoy <3

↳ 𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐔𝐍

• | with pre-ending mithrun, you will have to be the brave one and come to him instead. he won’t exactly reassure the grip you have on his arm, but he will still sit with you til the thunder stops.

• | however, with post-ending mithrun you will receive a comforting embrace. since he now has the desire to pursue his wants, he will try his best to calm you down… in his own way. he isn’t always the best at figuring out what exactly you’re feeling at times despite how observant he can be, so figuring out a way to comfort you proves to be difficult. so the only way he knows how to show you how much he cares is through physical touch…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

as your body began to cower deeper and deeper into the bed, mithrun finally made his move to calm you down. from his spot at his desk, he pushed the chair back under the table and strolled right over to the bed. he was careful with lifting the covers of the bed up as to not startle you, then slid quietly underneath the covers next to you.

apparently, you didn’t even notice him slipping under the covers until you felt his head lay softly on your stomach. your hands still kept their places over your eyes, but with the new feeling on your body, you let out a surprised gasp. “huh, mithrun?”

at this point, he began to close his eye at the comfort you radiated. the feeling wasn’t making him become sleepy, but rather relaxed because of your warmth. “you’re afraid, right?”

with a raised brow and eyes filled with confusion, you peaked between your fingers to look at mithrun. “yes?”

his eye remained closed as he became more comfortable in the bed, snuggling deeper into your side like a cat begging for more attention. “then let’s stay like this til the storm is over.”

a fond smile appeared on your face at the elf’s sweet actions, having not seen them that often. though, you were beginning to see more and more of this side of him. it was nice.

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐋

• | pattadol is fast to provide you comfort when you’re afraid, with her quick thinking she always comes up with multiple ideas that she could use to help you calm down. but this isn’t without her own panic as well, her worry that she won’t be able to help you makes her more scared than you are yourself. brewing a fresh pot of tea, covering your ears to drown the sound out, or even having you wrapped up in a blanket burrito are all lengths she would go to so you can feel safe. but despite all of these futile ideas, there’s one idea that she has left…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

pattadol’s attempts to calm your hurried breathing were proving to be fruitless, the fear you were feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon. she could only watch as you stood next to her, shaking uncontrollably while her mind couldn’t make a move to help you. just that thought alone was enough to make her afraid for you, then something finally came to mind.

with a wobbly smile, pattadol turned to look you directly in the eye. she placed a hand on your shoulder to grab your attention then began to slowly guide you to the couch. “here, [name], get comfortable while i grab a bigger blanket. i’ll be back in just a second. i promise.”

after a short while, pattadol came running back in the living room and to your side, blanket in hand. the feeling of worry began to dissipate once she sat down next to you, threw the blanket overtop the both of your bodies, and pulled you close. she made sure that your head was laid right on top of her chest while her other hand was placed on top of your ear, so this way instead of thunder, it was only her heart beat that you could hear.

what made it even better was that pattadol was cozy and warm, the feeling made you want to fall right into a nice nap. however, the elf holding you was still worried about your well-being. with her brows furrowed, she looked down at you and spoke softly. “are you feeling better? does this help?”

you could only mutter a small “yes” before your breathing became steady and your body became totally limp against pattadol.

with that, the elf smiled at her victory. she had gotten you to calm down and finally take a much needed rest. panic like that can’t be good for the body, she thought. but at least she had been able to help you. “good. the storm should subside soon, so until then please rest.”

↳ 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐊𝐈

• | fleki doesn’t usually pay much attention to the storms that occur so thunder and lightening don’t frighten her that much, but once she see’s how afraid you get she takes them a bit more seriously. she’s not the best at distracting you but she tries her best, she even offered you some of her “shrooms” one time because she ran out of ideas…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

you looked down at your girlfriends hands, a grimace of disgust overtaking your once fearful frown. reaching one hand out from your blanket cocoon, you gently pushed her hand away. “fleks, i don’t want drugs.”

fleki’s lips turned down into a pout. a part of her was frustrated with you for denying all of her ideas, but the other was plain frustrated with herself. she wish she had better ideas to actually help you rather than being a goof instead, so much for being a decent girlfriend.

with a sigh, she got up from her place on the floor and dramatically stretched her arms up above her head. as she was doing so, she turned to look at you. “well if you don’t want that… c’mon, sweets. let’s play a game to take your mind off things.”, then she walked over to your game shelf to look over your options.

her nonchalant attitude is what made you nervous, that was the way fleki always was but then again she was always unpredictable. so with a hesitant move, you began to crawl out of your blanket to see what exactly she was grabbing. “what kind of game, fleks?”

with a quick spin, she flashed you a deck of cards. “go fish!”, she exclaimed triumphantly.

you raised a brow at her enthusiasm, your nervousness leaving you completely along with it. why was she so excited about go fish? you don’t exactly know. but regardless, you took your place at the table across from where your girlfriend would be sitting. along with you came your blanket for warmth, which you wrapped tightly around you as fleki sat across from you.

with a quick shuffle of the cards, fleki began dealing the cards to the both of you. the game started out slow, but the two of you quickly became competitive and shit talked each other for laughs as the game went on. you were beginning to be distracted from the storm, which was exactly what fleki was aiming for.

in the end, it was she who won the game as well. what you hadn’t known the entire game until she revealed it to you, was that she had hidden a card to ensure her victory. all’s fair in love and war, she said. and oh was this definitely war. “aw crud, you seriously had a five? hiding a card under you is cheating, y’know?”

she let out a loud laugh at your comment, smiling smugly at you. “hah! you’re beginning to sound like pattadol now!”

you couldn’t help but shutter out a laugh at the comparison to the canary, “hey!”

seeing now that you were truly having fun, fleki’s spirits were being lifted again. the victorious grin she bore turned into a softer one, glad that she had achieved something good for you. “let’s go again! we’ll see if you can win this time!”

↳ 𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

• | he notices pretty quickly that you’re scared of the booming noises outside due to the way your eyes widened with fear at the first rumble. he doesn’t want to leave you alone while your trembling like this, but he will leave you for a moment to make sure the curtains of your windows are closed so you can’t see the lightening either. once he returns, he’s making sure you stay close to him so you feel safer. just like pattadol, he will cover your ears to help drown out the noise as well. and if that idea doesn’t work, he’ll change into his beast form so you can pet him…

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

“are you sure this is okay?”, you whispered. your boyfriend had taken his place between your legs, resting his head comfortably on your chest so you could easily reach his fluffy fur. his arms also had wrapped themselves around your waist, acting as a blanket. with the way his body was now, there was no way you were getting up. at least, not for awhile.

lycion didn’t have any complaints about that fact, he loves to cuddle you. though, he never did so with you in his beast form before. it never really crossed his mind before, but the sight of you afraid made him have to think outside of the box. now what he was worried about was making sure you remained calm. “‘course, why wouldn’t it be?”

you looked to the side. it wasn’t that this form that bothered you, no, he was beautiful. but the thought that he may have felt like he had to didn’t sit right with you. “i don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

he waved a hand at you, dismissing the thought. then he nuzzled his head deeper into your chest, signaling you that he wanted you to pet him. so with a gentle hand, you began running your fingers through his hair along with giving him a few head scratches. “please, pet me all you’d like. and maybe tell me about your day out with that half-elf girl, marcille, was it? i’d like to hear more about all the fun you had.”

so you began rambling on about your outing with marcille, not missing a single detail. how you had a run in with rin from kabru’s party, going to a new restaurant the both of you wanted to try, and all the shops you got to go to. hearing how your day went, he was almost jealous that he didn’t get to be there with you because of his duties.

as you finished your story, you began to focus on the man in your arms and how cute he was. his eyes were closed just at your touch, if he was a cat, he would definitely be purring. it was so domestic and sweet, your body was beginning to feel tired from the warmth surrounding you. “you’re pretty soft, lycion.”

he laughed a bit at your statement, “why thank you, love.”

then the room went silent, but not without the sounds of the storm still outside. lycion could hear that your heartbeat had slowed down, then he glanced up to get a look at your face. and lo and behold, you were fast asleep with your hand still resting on his head. his eyes widened at the sight, surprised that you fell asleep so quickly, “they fell right asleep, huh?”

but he relaxed against you as he was before, loving the affection he was getting. “gotta say, this ain’t bad.”

“sweet dreams, [name].”

@𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 - please do not translate or copy my works.

𝐚/𝐧 : if you’d like a pt. 2 with laio’s party, lemme know!

[toournextadventure]

our little secret pt.v

Summary: Letters to you.

Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: swearing, mention of possible suicide (slight mention, nothing happens), mental instability, mental spiraling, religious talk (Southern Christianity) Pairing: Lorraine Day x Reader (Masterlist) A/N: this is like a little filler, just having fun trying out something different. Don't worry, there's still a giant chapter left! Also? When Lorraine signs the letters to you, she puts a little heart over the i <3

June 15th

I thought you said you’d always be waiting. But I come home to hear from your momma that you’re on a vacation with Roy? Why didn’t you tell me before I left? I would have given you a proper goodbye.

It’s probably a good idea, though. Roy could definitely use the break and I’m sure you can too. I know the past few weeks have been… rough. I’m sorry. I didn't know it was going to happen. But we can talk more about things when you get back. For now, make sure you have some fun, okay?

Your momma said y’all went out West. If you could write me back and let me know where, maybe I can meet up with you. We can have a proper vacation for once. Do y’all have any real plans, or are you just traveling? I’m sure either one will do the job. You always did want to get out of town for a bit.

Our shoot went well. Max and Bobby-Lynne asked about you the whole time. It doesn't sit right with me when they're constantly checking up on you. Maybe I'm just jealous. It's probably nothing compared to how you feel. At least they mean well, I suppose. They send you their love. Maxine sent… a little more than love, but I’m not telling you about that.

By the time you get this letter, it shouldn’t be too long before you’re back home. I’ll be here waiting for you, okay? Don’t forget to send me some postcards. And if you find anything cute, don't forget to buy it for me! I'll pay you back, I promise.

I'll see you soon.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

June 29th

Having too much fun?

We all thought you'd both be home by now. The 4th is next week, you know. We never miss the 4th. Daddy said he would cook out this year. He's making your favourite and Beau and Huck got the good fireworks. We can take the truck out and watch the show, just you and me. RJ will be out so we can be free for a bit. That’ll be nice, right? A nice little break. So you better not miss it.

Speaking of, Beau isn’t too happy that you’re not home yet. He’s been doing a lot of pacing and mumbling a bunch of nonsense. I think he’s being a bit dramatic. He’s not happy that you left without letting him know. Said he could have told you a few places to go to be safe. I think he just misses you. We all do.

We haven’t been out to a shoot for a while. I’m glad. It hasn’t been the same since RJ proposed. Nothing has, really. Things just don’t feel the same. There’s guilt in everything I do now, I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t feel comfortable with anything, even daily chores. Did you ever feel that guilt? The one that sits deep in your belly?

On a brighter note, Jimmy and Liz are back in town. They seem to be doing good. And no, they’re not pregnant, thank God. It’s a modern miracle. They had hoped to see you before the summer is over. Of course they will though, it’s not even July yet, the summer is still young. Besides, I know no vacation is more fun than hanging out with us, right? Even Roy would agree, I know it.

Momma is calling me to dinner now, so I’ll wrap it up. I’ll see you on the 4th, okay?

Yours, Lorraine

—---

July 23rd

Hey darlin, I think it’s about time you came home. You’ve more than missed the 4th, and Lorraine ain’t too happy. It’s the first time you’ve missed a holiday, you know? It ain’t like you. I know this ain’t the happiest place for you right now, but your family is here. We’re all here.

Where’d you go anyhow? You and Roy are homebodies, y’all don’t know anybody out West. If you really wanted a vacation, you could’ve waited for us to get home. We would’ve taken you. I’m sure Lorraine would’ve been happy to go too. We could’ve had a double vacation, you know? Like we always talked about?

Huck and I won our competition the other day. Wish you had been there to cheer us on. We wiped the floor with everybody. Best team ropers in the South, just you wait. You’d best come home for the next one. I’d hate to get too popular for you to notice us, you know?

I’ll keep Lorraine calm and happy, but I really need you to get home, darlin. It’s a bit past time to be concerned. At the very least, send us a letter back. I can handle you being gone for so long if I know where you are. I know this isn’t a happy place, but we’re still worried about you. We can make it a better place again, I promise.

Just send me something back, okay? I’d appreciate it.

Love you, Beau

—---

August 12th

Hon, I really think you need to come home. Lorraine and Beau are losing their minds. No one has heard from you or Roy since you left, and your parents don’t seem worried at all. Your momma seems the slightest bit concerned, but your daddy isn’t. Everyone is just acting weird, so you need to come home.

Jim and Liz left for seminary again last week. They were mighty upset they didn’t get to see you before they left. It’s been about since Christmas since y’all were together, right? They miss you both. Y’all are family. Maybe try to write him while y’all are gone, I’ll write his address at the bottom in case you don’t remember.

If I have to listen to Beau and Lorraine ask where you are one more time, I’m going to lose my mind. You know neither one of them knows how to be patient or think logically. They have a single bad thought and run with it. I need you here to help me calm them down, because you’re fine, just taking a break from everything.

No one blames you for taking a break. After everything… it’s the least you deserve. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Lorraine asked the other night if this is her fault. I told her it wasn’t. We all know that girl loves you to the moon and back. And we all know you love her back. Things can be worked out, but you’ve got to come back home first, okay?

After all this, you had better be having the time of your life, darling. I’m going to assume as much since you’re not answering anybody. Hey, if you can’t write back, can you at least give us a number to try and call you at? Beau said he’d pay any long-distance charges, he just wants to make sure you’re okay.

He’s playing the part of a dutiful boyfriend, you know. Everyone thinks it’s romantic. I know he’s just worried about you, but it’s weird to hear everyone giving him their sympathies. Is this how you feel when everyone talks to Lorraine about RJ? Like you’re in second place in a race you hadn’t wanted to compete in? Because if so, then I think I understand you a bit. It’s… not a nice feeling.

Ah, I won’t get sentimental. We can talk more when you get home. I think I understand you a little better. That’s kinda sad, isn’t it? Took you leaving for me to get a better grip on your feelings? Well, just come home soon so we can talk. As I’ve made clear, Beau and Lorraine miss you. But I miss you too, darling. Enjoy your trip, but please come home soon safe and sound.

With love, Huck

—---

October 9th

This ain’t funny anymore, you know. It ain’t funny, and you need to get home now. You can quit ignoring all our letters, we get it. You’re hurt, you’re upset, you wanna teach us a lesson or somethin. We get it, we understand, just come home.

Lorraine is losing her gotdamn mind, and quite frankly I am too. No one’s heard a peep from you or Roy. You didn’t even like the West, you had always said it was too different. Never liked how they did their food either. So why would you even go out that way anyway?

You’re probably out drinking those fancy beers they try to peddle up there. They’re not as good as ours and you know it. Or you’re out doing those stupid hikes that you never cared for, getting more blisters on your heels because you don’t even like walks. There’s nothing good out there and you need to come back.

You should’ve left us a note before you left. That ain’t like you, you know. You always let us know where you’re going. You couldn’t even go to church camp back in the day without leaving a personalised letter for each of us. But now you just up and leave in the middle of the night? No warning? That ain’t right and you know it.

People keep asking me where you are and I don’t have any more answers. I can only say “she’s on vacation” so many times before people realise it’s a lie. And it is, isn’t it? It’s a lie. You’re not on some damn vacation. If you ran off, just let me know. I’ll leave you alone as long as I know you’re safe.

Did we make you that miserable? Was being around us so awful that you had to leave? You could’ve told us first. We could’ve come up with a plan, something that wouldn’t hurt you so bad. I don’t know what we could’ve done, but we could’ve tried something. Anything at all.

I need you to answer my letters, honey. I really need you to let me know you’re safe.

Please be safe.

Love you, Beau

—---

December 17th

You missed Halloween. And Thanksgiving. Are you going to miss Christmas too? And New Year's Eve? Am I going to have to jump into the new year without you? Please let me know if I am, because I need to be prepared. I’ve spent holiday after holiday waiting for you to come back, for you to spend it with me again. I get my hopes up every single time just for you to not be there.

RJ keeps asking me what’s wrong, and I’m honest with him. I miss you. I miss you so badly my chest aches. But he doesn’t understand. He thinks I just miss my best friend. And I do, you’ve always been my best friend. But you’re so much more than that, and I can’t explain it to him until you get back because I need someone to hold on to while you’re gone. When are you coming back?

Are you waiting for an apology? Because I’ll give you one, I’ll give you as many as you want. I’m sorry about RJ. I’m sorry about the proposal and that I didn’t say no. I’m sorry about Mr. Dylan, he never should’ve touched you. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye properly. I’m sorry I avoided you after the proposal, I was just scared and didn’t know what to do.

I’ll say sorry for anything you want or need. Just please answer me. Please come home. I don’t want anything else for Christmas, I don’t want any other miracle, I just want you. Please come home.

I miss you.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

January 24th

We searched Roy’s room and found all his guns gone.

I’m done asking, darling, you need to call us or send us a letter. Now. Now, I don’t believe Roy would do anything to you, but your daddy is on a kick about how unstable he was. How he’s still sick from the devil and all that nonsense he would always preach. I know he wouldn’t touch a hair on your head, but I really need you to answer me.

Lorraine has been losing her patience with RJ. She yelled at him the other day just because he tried to hold her hand. Told him not to touch her. It was quite the show. And it’s going to get her in trouble. She needs you, you know? You’re not the only one who has to hide.

I’m sorry, but I went through your room. It’s been long enough, your momma practically gave me the go ahead. You didn’t take any of your letters from Lorraine. Did you mean to leave them? I hope you didn’t. I hope it was an accident, and you didn’t mean to leave us behind.

Beau has a letter for you too, but he’s not done with it. I don’t know how to help him. He’s got himself convinced he should’ve done more. I don’t know what he should have done. I don’t know what he could have done differently. Did you want him to propose? The three of us could’ve moved off somewhere, you know. We could’ve made it work if it’s what you wanted.

Everyone wants you home. They need you to come home. No one is complete without you, it’s like a big part of town is missing. Stevie from the bar finally pulled me aside and asked about you last weekend. I couldn’t even give him an answer. He said he’d pray for you. Said he’d keep a shot of the good stuff saved for when you get back.

Fuck it. I miss you too. You’re one of my very best friends, hon. You’re the one who’s been with me through everything. Hell, you introduced me to Beau. You’re the only one I can truly talk to about things. I need you home too, okay? You’re part of my home, so I need you to come back.

I need you to write back.

With love, Huck

—---

January 30th

You’re an absolute bastard. You know that? You’re a fuckin bastard. A vacation? Give me a fuckin break, you didn’t go on no gotdamn vacation. Where’d you go, huh? Somewhere we’d never find you? Did Roy convince you to leave? He probably did, the prick. Ain’t no way you would’ve left on your own, you’re not stupid.

What the hell were you thinkin? Just up and leavin like it ain’t nobody’s business. Well it’s my business. It’s my fucking business and you should’ve told me. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend. I don’t care that we’re pretendin, I still fuckin care about you and you just fuckin left? Did I mean that little to you?

We had a pretty great thing goin, you didn’t have to leave and ruin it. I don’t care that it was a lie, we were happy. I still had Huck, and you still had Lorraine, and we were happy. You didn’t have to pack your bags and leave like a thief in the night to, what, prove a point? Well I get it now, you weren’t as happy as I thought. You could’ve told me instead of doin all of this.

You’d better answer the gotdamn letter this time. I ain’t playin around anymore. You better answer the letter and get your ass home. And if Roy is readin this, then you better get her home. You’d better have kept your gotdamn hands and your guns away, and you better get her home. Now.

Beau

—---

February 15th

Hey, momma said I should try to send you something. She said you might answer me since I’m your baby brother. Are you and Roy okay? I don’t care what Pap says, I know y’all aren’t dumb, y’all didn’t go do something stupid. Roy probably just grabbed his guns to keep you safe. He’s not crazy.

Gramma came down with something nasty. The doctors think it’s pneumonia, but we’re still waiting for tests to come back. You both should probably get back just in case it’s bad. She misses you. She prays for you both twice a day. It’s really sweet, she just wants you both safe.

Seminary has been alright. Boring. You would’ve liked it more. Heck, you would’ve been better at it. No one knows the bible quite like you, I don’t care what Pap says. If any one of us should’ve gone off to study, it should’ve been you. Maybe once he sees how bad at it I am, he’ll change his mind. Think so? Probably not.

I’m waiting to propose to Liz until you both get back. I’ve got it all planned out and everything, even bought a ring. You’d like it, I think. But I can’t get married without my big siblings, right? Don’t worry, I can be patient. Y’all just get home safe and sound, you hear?

We love you. The both of you. We’ll see you soon.

Jimmy

—---

February 18th

Your Gramma passed away today. The funeral is in two weeks. That should be more than enough time for you to get back.

We’ll see you soon, love.

With love, Huck

—---

March 4th

Your Gramma’s funeral was today. You weren’t there. Why weren’t you there? You meant the world to her. She meant the world to you. You were the one she wanted to see, and you weren’t even there to see her buried.

She would have wanted you to be here.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

April 4th

A police report came in that they found two bodies in the river a few hours away from here. The bodies are decomposed too much to make identifications. I swear to god, hon, it better not be you. I know things were hard. For the both of you. But you didn’t have to go and do that.

It better not be you.

With love, Huck

—---

May 26th

Your daddy practically declared you both dead at church this morning. I guess after almost a year, he’s tired of worrying about it. He was never a patient man. I don’t think anyone really believed him, but who’s going to argue with their preacher? No one in this town, that’s for sure. Momma and daddy said you’re probably fine, just got sick of your daddy. No one would blame you if that were the case.

After church, Mr. Dylan told your daddy you and Roy had tried to kill him the night you left. If that were true, I don’t know why he didn’t bring it up when everyone was asking where you were. Don’t know why he saved it for now, but he did. Said you had both tried to kill him in the church.

He told your daddy you were a queer. Said you were a queer and you were going to infect the town with your sin. Huck hit him. Square on the jaw, knocked him out cold. I had thought it would be Beau. I hope he gave Mr. Dylan a concussion.

Did he really find out? Because I didn’t tell anybody, I swear. We always kept things a secret. At least I think we did. No one was ever around that didn’t already know. I know none of my crew told, they wouldn’t dare. I promise I didn’t tell anyone.

Momma asked me this evening if you really were queer. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what her reaction would be. She has always loved you, I didn’t want her to think any less of you because of what Mr. Dylan said. Daddy said we shouldn’t talk about it while you’re not here. Said it wasn’t right to talk behind your back. I don’t want them to hate you.

I won’t ever let them hate you.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

June 1st

I hate you. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hate you. I hate you, and I hate Roy, and I hate this fuckin town and everyone in it.

You were supposed to be here, gotdammit. You were supposed to be here, and we were all supposed to grow old together. What the fuck were you thinkin? Don’t you know how much you’ve hurt me? Don’t you understand? We might not have been in love, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love you. I loved you, and you went and broke my heart like this?

We were all supposed to be together, you know. No matter what, remember? I thought you were my Huckleberry. Well what are you now, huh? A coward. You’re a fuckin coward. What, times get hard so you leave? You just pack your shit and leave with your crazy fuckin brother?

What were we to you? Were we just a means to an end? Nothing more than a toy for you to play with? Cause you were never that to me. You were never anything less than my best friend, the only girl I ever loved. And you just fuckin left me. Was I not good enough for you?

If that’s how you feel, then good fuckin riddance. Stay away. We don’t want you back in this town anyway. Go stay with your new fuckin friends that won’t ever fuckin know you or care about you the way we do. No one is ever gonna understand you like we do.

Don’t even bother comin back.

Beau

—---

June 2nd

Please come back. I can’t do this without you.

Beau

—---

June 4th

I broke off the engagement today. It’s all just too much. I can’t even stand looking at him anymore. Every time he looks at me makes my skin crawl. I can’t even stand being in the same room with him anymore. Each time he touches me makes me feel like a piece of my soul dies.

Did I do this to you? Did I push you to leave? If I did, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. If I had been smarter, I would’ve suggested dating Huck instead. Then none of this ever would have happened. The four of us would’ve been together and no one would have ever known. We could’ve been happy.

Were you that unhappy? I never wanted you to hurt. All I ever wanted was you. Every time I had to fake a smile with RJ, or play nice, I always thought about you. I didn’t care about him, he was just a good distraction so no one would know about us. It was stupid. I never should’ve been afraid of how I felt.

I need you to come home. I need you to come home and tell me everything will be okay. Nothing feels the same without you. Foods don’t taste good, the sun isn’t as bright, nothing is fun. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed anymore. I would rather rot away than go another day without you.

I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything. I’ll take everything back, I’ll tell the whole world that I love you. I’ll hold your hand at the store. I’ll sit in your lap at the bar, and pull you to dance with me. I’ll do whatever you want, whenever you want. I just want you back. I need you back.

I love you. You’re my home. I need you here with me.

Please come back to me.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

July 1st

You took my heart with you, you know. No one else is ever going to have it. Please keep it safe.

Yours, Lorraine

—---

The bonfire was hot against Lorraine’s skin. Far too hot. Combined with the sweltering summer heat, it was painful. She didn’t care. Painful at least felt like something. It felt like something real, something she could focus on. Almost as real as the pile of letters in her hands, all stamped with the same thing on the front in red.

Return to sender.

“I’m sorry,” Max said softly. Her hand was surprisingly cool against Lorraine’s upper arm.

On the other side of the fire, off in the distance, she could hear Beau yelling. Drunken, incoherent rambling that no one could really understand. Huck had given up on trying to console him. After all, how could he console him about something that they couldn’t fix? What would be the point?

Another beer bottle shattered against the hard ground.

You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to be there waiting for Lorraine when she got back from filming. Then you were both going to talk, and you were going to come up with a plan to get out of the engagement, and then everyone was going to be happy. Maybe you could’ve gone out East for real, like the four of you had always talked about.

The letters in her hand felt like lead.

“Do you want us to give you a minute?” Bobby-Lynne asked. She squeezed Lorraine’s shoulders. It was comforting. Grounding.

“No,” Lorraine said softly. “It wouldn’t matter anyway.”

The letters were the last connection she had to you. Your daddy had quickly emptied out yours and Roy’s rooms, labeling you both as sinners and traitors. She had been lucky enough to grab your hat before he had thrown everything out. It sat comfortably on her head right at that moment.

Her last remnants of you.

No tears came as she held the letters over the fire. The flames licked the skin of her damaged fingers. She knew, logically, it should have hurt. It didn’t. Maybe, if she kept her hand there long enough, you would appear and pull her back. You would scold her for doing something dangerous, and then you could both go to bed.

That’s all she wanted. She just wanted to go to bed.

Her fingers pried themselves away from the letters, and she watched them fall onto the bonfire. One by one they caught a spark, turning a dark brown and curling around the edges before igniting. She could see the different handwriting on each page. Beau, Huck, Jimmy. Her own. All filling the pages with their thoughts, their concerns, their feelings. Things they would never dare tell each other.

She watched the fire until the very last letter burned. Your name faded away into the orange flame. You faded away into nothing, and when your name was no longer legible, Lorraine felt her own heart go with it. There was a space shaped exactly like you within her chest. No one would ever fill it, and she didn’t want them to.

You were her heart and soul. Her home.

She would never find anyone else for as long as she lived. And then, she would find you in death.

She would find you in every lifetime. No matter how long it took.

[pinkanpretty]

Baby i promise

A/n: Heyy y’all so this my first time actually writing a story like this hopefully you guys enjoy I’ll try writing about a different person soon maybe an Evan Peter character. 💋💋

You couldn’t take it anymore—all the secrets, the obvious lies, and the sneaking around. It drove you crazy, especially since Dave had only been your boyfriend for about a month now, and it was ridiculous. But that’s the way you felt, well, before tonight. You couldn’t have had a worse day a D- on your math test, your dad working an overnight shift again, and now some lunatic dressed as Kick-Ass in your house when all you wanted to do was lay down and listen to some music.

“Get the fuck out!” you yelled as you scurried to get your dad’s gun.

“Baby, it’s me, hold on a second!” he spoke as fast as he could while pulling off his mask.

“Dave? Oh my god, are you insane? What if my dad was home? Better yet, what if he fucking saw you?”

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry. Just look, just listen,” he pleaded.

“I need to sit down, Dave.”

“Then go sit, baby, just please,” he said, dropping to his knees. “Look, I’m really, really sorry. I couldn’t find the courage to tell you, and I know I’m a coward and lied, but please forgive me.”

“Dave, I don’t know if I can. You’re getting hurt,” you said, on the verge of breaking down.

“I’ll stop, I swear I’ll stop if you forgive me,” he begged.

“Dave, I—how long has this been going on?”

“Two months…” he replied sheepishly.

“Two—two fucking months you’ve been putting your life on the line?! You have to promise to stop.”

Dave stayed silent, like you were speaking another damn language.

“Promise!” you yelled.

“I promise, baby, I promise.”

[junabuggy]

Hi! I love your writing! Would you be up for writing a fic where reader has super bad separation anxiety from Al, but he has to go somewhere without them and either Angel Dust or Husk is in charge of taking care of them/keeping them calm while he’s gone? Thanks a bunch!!! ❤️

Separation anxiety! GN! Reader x Alastor/husker?

A/n: Of course !! Honestly this has been super fun and I’m more than grateful for all the people who seem to enjoy my silly little fanfictions/headcanons, many thanks everybody ♥️♥️

Also, if you couldn’t tell from a lot of my writing, I’ve taken quite a liking to Alastor… So I get it, I love him too y’all ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Warnings: Mentions of separation anxiety, Mentions of alcohol, Alastor being Alastor so light mentions of blood and cannibalism (doesn’t actually happen)

Fluff✔️ Comfort✔️ Angst❌ Smut❌

Hope yall don’t mind a few headcanons first about this :33

📻𖤐 it’s hard to tell how Alastor would realistically react to someone being attached to him in that way..

📻𖤐 Like do I think it would bother him? No, he wouldn’t mind you tagging along wherever he went as long as you didn’t bother him too much or get in the way of things but there are just times where he requires or wants to be alone. Which is where Husker would come in lol

📻𖤐 He probably wouldn’t leave you with Angel, even if Husk wasn’t available for whatever reason he’d just get Charlie to look after you while he was away.

📻𖤐 I feel like he cares/loves in an odd way.. like he wants to tear you apart and lick up all your delicious, sweet blood but in an affectionate way??? If that makes sense?? Remember that pomegranate cannibalism metaphor that went around on TikTok for a bit there? Think that.

📻𖤐 of course, he wouldn’t do that, he wants to keep you around.

Okok I’m done yapping about silly radio man lol, onto the fic

Unfortunately, today was one of those days you couldn’t tag along with where Alastor went, he was attending an overlord meeting and obviously you not being an overlord it meant that you couldn’t go with him despite all of your protests and begging.

Before his departure, he sat you down at the bar with Husker and gave you a little pat on the head, telling you that he’d be back shortly and walking out of the hotel doors.

The grumpy cat demon poured himself a drink as he stared at you, this wasn’t exactly the first time Alastor had left him on “babysitting” duty with you and he didn’t exactly mind it. You were quite sweet for somebody who landed themselves in a place like hell.

“Where’s he off to this time?” Husker asked before taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage he held in his hand, attempting to make some form of conversation with you.

“Oh.. just some kind of silly overlord meeting…” You mumbled out a short reply whilst looking a bit glum. He simply nodded in response, setting his glass down on the bar countertop to mix you up a little something as well.

Husk didn’t understand your attachment to the Radio Demon to be completely frank with you. He and a lot of others viewed Alastor as something to fear, respect, and try to avoid contact with the best they could… so seeing someone who enjoyed his company was a foreign idea to him. But he wouldn’t judge you for it. It wasn’t exactly his business anyways and at least he seemed to treat you decently.

“Don’t stress it kid, he’ll be back soon. He keeps his promises I’ll give him that much.” Husk attempted to reassure you, giving a slight smile as he slid a drink down to you.

You smiled back weakly and nodded, taking a deep breath as you grabbed the drink he had slid over to you. You took a sip and it tasted like a screwdriver, not too bad of a drink and it would probably take your mind off of things a little bit if you had a few of them. Which was probably the goal Husker was trying to reach.. he couldn’t imagine separation anxiety to be very fun.

Later into the night once you got a few drinks in you, you started to forget all about why you were upset and/or stressed out in the first place. Chatting with Husk about random stuff and occasionally mentioning and talking about a person or two.

Husk wished there were more nights like this, more time spent with you… and who knows? Maybe you’ll be visiting the bar more often for him after tonight if he was lucky. He was pretty good at playing his cards right, after all.

(Sorry this was kinda short !! I wasn’t sure what else to write. Lmk if you guys maybe want a part two with Alastor coming back from his little meeting, I might do that :3)

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞

ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲

[paradiseismine]

are you planing on doing a part two for ‘hands off’? cause holly cow, i didn’t know I needed a mike x munson!reader until that, god bless you anon that made the request xx

Hands Off, part 2 - Mike Wheeler x reader

Pairing: Mike Wheeler (Stranger Things) x Munson!f!reader

Warnings: underage drinking, risky sex, lying to a loved one. (also kinda fluffy brother-sister dynamic, ‘cause I love Eddie as much as anybody else)

Summary: Mike attends Eddie’s birthday party at your place and ends up having a lot more fun than he had initially planned.

Love note from Nina: y’all’s response to Hands Off was so exciting that I simply had to write a part 2. Thank you so much, I love getting comments. My people ask and they shall receive 🫰🏻

Also: I know Eddie canonically lives in a trailer, but just humor me, right?

Your secret affair with Michael Wheeler was going strong and smoothly for a good two weeks or so - hooking up at his basement, sneaking up into his room, sending little notes to his school locker through a trusty acquaintance.

Mike was feeling over the moon lately - not only you were the hottest girl he’d ever seen, but also so nice to talk to, so smart, so sweet to him. He walked up to his locker on a Friday morning and, as he opened it, two little pieces of paper fell on the floor. He already knew what to expect, and quickly picked them up to read them.

One of the notes was a party invitation - Eddie’s birthday was this weekend, after all. The other one was yours, and his heart thumped as his eyes quickly scanned through your neat handwriting.

“You better come to Ed’s party, loverboy - I’ll find a way for us to sneak into my room and have a lot more fun than anybody else there. I don’t want you getting your hands off of me for longer than a minute”. He bit his lip, suppressing a smile, as he put both notes in one of his notebooks and walked back to class.

The day flew by, and soon, it was Saturday evening, and he had just rung the doorbell to the Munson’s house. Mike was well dressed and even wearing cologne - something Eddie didn’t let slide as he opened the front door.

“Wheeler, my paladin” he threw an arm around Mike’s shoulder. “All dressed up and smelling like a million bucks… Tryna get lucky with some girl?”

“One could only hope” he chuckled in response, trying to keep his cool. “Is the gang here already?”

“Nah, you’re early” Eddie shrugged. There were other people there, mostly his cousins and other older friends. “But make yourself at home, I’ll get you a drink”

Mike entered the house, quickly greeting the people sitting on the couch before heading to the kitchen. There, his eyes sparkled as he saw you - but he couldn’t say anything.

“There” Eddie said, as he entered the kitchen, “y/n is gonna fix you up with some good ol’ liquid courage, won’t you, kiddo?”

“Sure thing, birthday boy” you smiled at your big brother before locking eyes with Mike, “What’s your poison, Wheeler?”

“A-anything goes, I guess” Mike stuttered, trying to come off as nonchalant and failing. Eddie had left the kitchen to answer the front door again, and that sure made both of you drop your shoulders and relax.

“Why didn’t you call me back?” Mike whispered as you poured him a Cuba Libre.

“This house was packed from dawn to dusk today, lover boy” you shook your head, lips barely moving. It was risky to even talk like that with Eddie around. “But I’ll keep my promise, or you can fancy me a good spank to my ass to put me in my place” you winked, handing him the drink and leaving the kitchen to mingle with your cousins as if nothing had happened.

Not long after that, the rest of the gang showed up, and soon, the house was full of people and the music was blasting. Lights were slightly dimmed, creating the perfect atmosphere for a good make out - Mike had already seen Lucas grabbing Max to sit her on the kitchen counter whilst they kissed, and that was enough to make him crave you even more.

Ugh, where were you?

He was leaning against a wall with another drink in his lips when you passed by, alone, one of your hands seemingly balled up in a fist. You looked angry, and slowed down your pace, not fully stopping in front of him, but almost doing so.

You furtively shoved something in his right back pocket, walking towards the stairs as you gave him a dirty glance. Mike, still with his back mostly against the wall, discreetly reached for whatever it was that you had given him, not even pulling it out of his pocket to see it, only to suppress a gasp and get a painful erection: it was a tiny, lacey piece of fabric. You had just left your panties in his pocket.

The low cut top and red vinyl skirt you were wearing made his mouth water as soon as he saw you, but now, with nothing underneath the skirt, he felt hypnotized with lust. How could you be so naughty?

He waited a minute or so, until nobody could notice him, and quickly walked up the stairs to meet you in your bedroom.

“Finally, now I can get you all to myself” he said, arms around your waist as you let him in and locked the door. “You have no idea how much I need you”

Mike pressed you up against the door and kissed you, delighted, moaning onto your mouth as his hands grabbed your waist hungrily. You felt a shiver of pleasure down your spine, your hands pulling the hair of his nape gently, your hips bucking against his, desperate for any sort of contact.

You could barely breathe as he towered over you, right hand creeping up your thigh as you two made out. That vinyl skirt was surely driving him crazy, but as hot as you looked in it, he was desperate to see it hit the floor.

“Touch me, Mikey, I need you so much” you moaned in his ear, nibbling softly on his earlobe, giving him goosebumps. “I need to cum for you so bad, love”

Mike had had a drink or two that evening, but if truth had to be told, he was drunk on you. Drunk on your kiss, on your smell, on your body. His hand forced your legs further apart and two of his fingers found their way into your dripping cunt in a mere second.

You stifled a louder moan by biting his neck, your hands now under his t-shirt, scratching his back. His fingers thrusted into you a few times before circling your clit in a feather light motion, getting your knees to buckle.

“Right there, baby, yes” you moaned as he supported your faltering body.

“Right here, baby girl, yeah?” he whispered to your ear. Those risky moments really made him loosen up, it was always so good to hear him talk like that. “Are you gonna cum for me like the slutty little princess you are?”

He kept touching your clit in a perfect rhythm, biting his own swollen lips as the vision of you coming undone struck him. Your mouth opened and your eyes rolled, your vision growing white for a minute, as your body shook in pleasure. Mike thought he would never get used to seeing you cum for him - it was the perfect sight.

“Y/N, ARE YOU UP THERE???” Eddie yelled from down the stairs. “I REALLY NEED TO…” he finished the phrase, but you were too startled to hear it.

“Come again?!” you yelled, trying not to pay attention to Mike’s hand still up your skirt.

“You want to cum again, love? It’s my pleasure to help” he chuckled, fingers curling inside you in the perfect angle to get you to squirt in a couple more minutes. How did he get so good at that?

“No playing games, lover boy” you grabbed his face harshly, nearly slapping him. “We’ll continue this later. Now, if you want to save your skin, make sure you only leave my room after I get Eddie and everyone else out of the way, ok?”

Mike nodded, eyes widening and body squirming in panic as he heard knocking on the door. “Under the bed” you mouthed at him, quite startled yourself, as he complied immediately.

“Just a minute, Eds” you yelled, turning to the mirror and fixing yourself - quickly brushing your hair back in place with your fingers and cleaning the red lipstick smudges off your face.

You took a deep breath to recompose yourself, and as if nothing had happened, you opened the door.

“There you are” Eddie said, seeming a bit annoyed. “We’re about to sing happy birthday, why were you here all this time? I couldn’t find my lighter to light the candles, I was hoping to borrow yours”

“Oh” you shook your head. “It was nothing, just ran out of social battery, I guess.” You turned around to reach for your silver glittery lighter on your desk. “But my lighter is right here. Should we get downstairs then?”

“You’ve been so weird lately, munchkin” Eddie said, rubbing your cold arm, a worried expression on his face. “Is anyone bothering you?”

“W-what?” fuck, you stuttered. Now he wouldn’t be 100% convinced of that answer. Better think of an actual excuse. “No, totally not.” you fidgeted, trying to clear your mind. “I’m just really worried about school too, you know, the tests have been much harder this semester…”

“Don’t let that ruin your night, please” he punched your arm softly, big-brother style. “You work way too hard on your grades for that fancy school, you need to have some fun too. Now, let’s go light that ugly cake on fire”

“Hey! I made that cake” you slapped him, laughing, as he put his arm around your shoulder and guided you downstairs.

Mike waited for your voices to wane before discreetly walking downstairs. The happy birthday song started almost immediately, and after it was over and everyone was eating your cake (aesthetically dubious, yes, but pretty good taste-wise), Eddie spotted him.

“Wheeler boy, I didn’t see you all night” Eddie laughed, pulling him aside and handing him a piece of cake, which he took with a shy smile. “But that red lipstick on your face is pretty telling of your whereabouts… Got lucky with some girl, didn’t you? Who was it?”

“You know, I-I don’t kiss and tell” he laughed nervously as you cut more slices of the cake for the rest of the guests across the room.

“It’s better not to, you’re right” Eddie tapped his shoulders. “Uncle Wayne always says that those who keep quiet as they eat get to have both lunch and dinner” the boys laughed, and Eddie soon left to chat with other guests.

The night was far from over, and so was your lover boy’s lust. Now that the guests would start leaving, you had to come up with a plan to get him to spend the night.

-

Love note from Nina: part 3 coming soon, lovelies, I promise 🎀

[searenbound]

I was writing something else but this thought popped up in my head and won’t leave me alone so here’s a short piece, maybe I’ll revisit it later if y’all enjoyed it.

Warnings: hybrid au, cheating/cucking, reader is unremorseful about it, afab reader with she/her pronouns, ends in a mmf threesome

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader (+ cuck boyfriend who I didn’t name but was totally thinking of Midoriya)

She thinks you’re supposed to feel ashamed. “I love you” means something, it’s like a promise to some. A promise you’ll stay faithful and committed. So she doesn’t think it should be so easy for her to go behind her boyfriend’s back in his own bed like this.

But fuck, did it feel good.

Maybe it makes her a bitch, but she really doesn’t care. He shouldn’t have gotten the large dog hybrid with consulting her and he should have done a better job of checking his temperament and attitude before bringing him home.

It’s really not her fault if Katsuki is a domineering type who made his desires known the minute they were alone together.

And he’s always out of town for business, leaving his poor girlfriend and her needy little pussy all alone with a big strong man who wanted her.

What was she supposed to do? Not let him fuck her until she was leaking cum?

Maybe she should be more mindful of the time though. Her boyfriend was meant to be home soon, they didn’t have time to fuck before he arrived. So she should have said no when Katsu started grabbing at her in that needy manner.

Should have told him they didn’t have time, but she didn’t.

She should have been ashamed to be caught by the man standing numbly in the doorway. Watching with a slack jaw as his hybrid fucked his girlfriend.

He should be furious, but he found himself curiously aroused by how well she took such rough treatment.

The blond’s hand holding her down by the back of her neck while the other snaked its way under her to play with her clit. He’s growling at her to take his knot and with that dazed and eager smile she has it’s certainly not the first time she’s felt buried in her cunt.

He swallows trying to find the words he wants to say.

‘How could you’?

‘How long’?

‘What the hell’?

“A-are you going to cum? Is he going to make you cum?” isn’t what he expected to come out, but he can’t seem to find it in him to wonder about why as he watches her squirm and squeal out a whiny yes as Katsuki finally pushed his knot in.

He should be devastated, but he finds it hard to be when his girlfriend happily takes him into her mouth and lets him watch round two

[naturesapphic]

Hey I was wondering if u could write a Olivia benson x reader where Olivia rescues reader from something and then reader becomes super clingy to her like so clingy that she can’t do her job properly. Your writing is amazing 😍

Rescued

Olivia Benson x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of kidnapping

“She’s in here but the perp has her at gunpoint. What do we do next?” One of the officers reported and Olivia sucked her breath in. She needed to get her girlfriend out of there and fast. Liv went inside and talked to the perp, convincing him to let you go so they could talk alone. As soon as you left the building you were surrounded by officers and paramedics.

They took you to the hospital to examine you but you were worried about your girlfriend. You prayed to God that she was safe and that they arrested your kidnapper. You didn’t have to worry long because liv came running into your room with a grin on her face. “Oh my gosh you’re okay.” She breathed out as she ran to your side and hugged you tight, placing kisses all over your face.

You let out a tired smile and hugged her back. “I’m okay. Are you okay? Did y’all arrest him?” You asked and she nodded. “Of course we did sweetheart. I’m gonna make sure he goes away for a long time I promise.” She reassured you and you nodded, pulling her in for another hug.

~ a month later ~

It’s been a month and things are slowly getting easier. Well, besides clinging to Olivia’s side 24/7. Ever since being kidnapped you didn’t want to leave her side ever. If she had work, you would be by her desk doing work or if she had to leave to question some people you would constantly text her or you would hang out with Fin.

Being this clingy with her was starting to affect her work but she could never tell you that. Not after what you’ve been through, she just couldn’t but one day she had to. It was one morning where they were on a very important case at work and you had to stay home. You didn’t take it very well and had a panic attack.

Olivia called cragen right quick and told him that she would be in a little late and will explain later. He understood and they said goodbye as she comforted you. “Babygirl you know I hate doing this but you have to stay. We are working on some very confidential stuff right now and you can’t be with me.” She explained and you whimpered, crying into her chest. She sighs and pulls you closer to her, rubbing your back and whispering sweet reassurances in your ear.

After a few minutes, you had calmed down which relieved her. “How about this. I will try and text/call you whenever I can and if you miss me you can have this picture of us so you can look at me. I can even send you some videos of myself talking to you. How’s that baby?” She said and you slowly nodded. “I guess…im just gonna miss you so much…” you pouted and she chuckled.

“I’m gonna miss you more baby. Later im gonna have an officer check in on you okay?” She said and you nodded. “Thanks baby. I’ll see you later.” You said as she got up and went to get her stuff to leave. “Bye baby. I love you.” She said as she walks to the door. You wave goodbye and tell her that you loved her more. This would be hard but you knew with liv’s love and support, you can get through anything.

A/n: thank you @idonothingalldays-blog for the request and for your kind words! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves. I love y’all :)

[katnissmellarkkk]

tis I with a prompt: I request the first time post war Katniss lets Peeta into her bed again 🥺

-

AN : wrote this the night you sent the prompt but I absolutely hated it until now. I finally got around to cleaning this up a bit and now I think it’s cute? Lemme know, all of y’all, if you like it! And my writing muscles are rusty so send me a prompt if you like, to try and work me out please! Can’t make any promises about what’ll trigger my brain but I can sure try! Anywaysss hope y’all enjoy this lil post-mockingjay-pre-epilogue drabble here!

-

I watch with dread as Peeta scrubs away the last bit of sauce still dried to his plate.

“You really don’t have to do that,” I murmur halfheartedly from where I lean against the counter, watching him.

“It’s rude to not wash your own plate after dinner,” he says, his tone somewhat coy. He’s teasing me, I realize. He’s maybe even flirting with me but I can’t be sure and even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to make of it.

“I never wash mine after eating at your house,” I mumble, mostly to myself. I know he doesn’t care about cleaning off my plate for me. I know that he knows that I don’t mind washing his plate either.

But I don’t push the point and neither does he. Because we’re both stalling the inevitable.

It’s past ten at night and it’s time for Peeta to go home now. This time comes every day and we should be more prepared for it by this point, but every single night when the sun has long since left the sky and you can barely make out five feet in front of you without a flashlight, Peeta walks out the front door and my chest aches, as he disappears out into the night.

Ask him to stay, a tiny voice that sounds weirdly like both Haymitch and my mother — at the same exact time — pressures me.

But my tongue won’t cooperate and I can’t make the words form on my lips and I feel my stomach flip as I stutter out an awkward goodbye instead.

“Goodnight, Katniss,” Peeta says evenly, his face smooth and peaceful and totally level as he reaches out and squeezes my hand before moving to grab his coat.

He’s walking towards the door and I feel the familiar dread — the dread that’s been my constant companion for longer than I care to remember — rise up in my stomach and for a split second I want to reach out and grasp his elbow. For a split second I want to grab onto him and stop him from leaving.

And for a moment I plan to ask him to stay, to come upstairs with me, to get into his pajamas and brush his teeth by my side at the sink, to crawl beneath the sheets and hold me until we hear birds begin to chirp with the morning light. In that moment I plan to ask him to do exactly what we used to do on the train, exactly what we used to do every single night, back before everything between us completely shattered beyond recognition.

My hand drops midair before I can make the contact with his arm but it catches his attention just the same.

“What’s wrong?” He inquires, his face becoming concerned.

“Nothing,” I brush off tightly. Instead of saying what I’m thinking, instead of saying what I want, I just force a smile and lightly graze his hand. “Get home safe.”

At that, he shoots me a bemused look. “I live three houses from you. Somehow I think I’ll be fine.”

I nod and chuckle as he leaves, as he disappears into the night, making the shortest of journeys home, unwittingly leaving me to dwell in regret for all the things I wish I’d just come out and said.

As soon as the door shuts between us regret the size of an elephant lands on my chest.

And I know, without a doubt, this is going to be one bad night for me.

-

The funny thing about my nightmares is they never lose their edge. Not with time, not with practice, not with comparison. I’ve seen Cato get eaten by the mutts hundreds of times. I’ve watched Clove stab me with her knives and Brutus chase me through the jungle and Enobaria break my neck with one hand, more than I could possibly count.

I’ve witnessed my sister detonate, as if I’m still standing right there, in the city circle of the Capitol. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times since that day. I’ve witnessed it more often than I’ve managed to actually sleep since that day.

And it never gets easier. It never becomes routine. I’m never ever prepared for it.

Instead I’m left paralyzed as the same dreams plague me over and over and over again.

Other things do change though. I used to thrash around, kicking and screaming as the dreams tortured me for minutes on end. I used to wake up, sweat covered and coiled up in my bedding, trapped in a physical sense that only manages to make my dreams even more intense somehow.

But over time something shifted and somehow, between the bomb that killed my sister and taking down Coin and the trial I scarcely remember, the thrashing stopped and the walking began.

For months now, I’ve woken to find myself in strange rooms, in small crawl spaces I didn’t know existed, inside cupboards and beneath beds no one’s ever used in guest rooms I barely recognize.

But I’ve never found myself outside before. Never, in all the time I’ve dealt with these dreams, have I ever once ended up in my front lawn.

Never, in my wildest imagination, did I picture myself waking from my nightmare, facedown in some dirt, ripping grass from the ground as I let out a rabid scream.

“Katniss,” I hear a voice softly murmur, like speaking to an injured fawn, terrified of scaring them away. “Katniss, it’s okay.”

And my lips cry for the voice before my brain fully recognizes it. “Peeta?”

“It’s just me,” he says, and I feel his hands grasp the tops of my arms, gently pulling me upright. “It’s only me.”

I pry my swollen eyes open and take in Peeta’s kind, worried face, mere inches away from mine.

“You’re here?” I croak, still groggy and confused. “What’s going on?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he explains, thumbing away my tears as more come pouring out. “But it’s over now. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” His hand cups my cheek softly, holding the weight of my head.

I nod plaintively, my body still completely exhausted despite the fact I was just asleep. “I’m okay,” I try to say but all that comes out is a guttural raspy sound and I watch as his face softens even more.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” he whispers, offering me his hand.

I take it without question, but find that I’m not upright for long. The moment I’m standing, my bare feet touching the dewy grass, Peeta bends down and scoops me up in his arms.

I don’t question it though. Maybe secretly I wanted him to do that. I definitely didn’t want to wait around to see if Haymitch came outside, asking why I was screaming at this hour of the day.

Peeta carries me into the house as if I weigh as much as Buttercup, kicking the door shut behind him and walking over to the couch. He sits down with me on his lap and drops his arms, as if to let me decide the next move. I could either crawl away from him, put some distance between us, or I could remain where I am.

To me, the choice barely takes any consideration.

I curl up closer to him, the images from the dream still too fresh to handle alone. I press my face into his neck and fold myself into him and hope he reciprocates in kind.

It doesn’t take more than a second for him to respond. As soon as I initiate it, he’s there, pulling me tighter, cradling me against him, rocking me back and forth like I’m something precious to behold.

“It’s okay,” he repeats again and again and again, as if we entered a time warp and we’re back on the train, back in the Capitol in our little apartment, sharing a bed, guarding against nightmares we stupidly thought would be the height of our troubles. “I have you, Katniss. I won’t let anything hurt you now.”

I cry into the collar of his shirt, drained and shaking and still half-crazed, feeling slightly better only when his fingers begins to smooth my hair away from my face.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers gently, his hand moving from my hair to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing circles there to alleviate my trembling.

Time begins to pass. My tears dwindle to nothing. I feel the shaking come to an end. Every last ounce of energy I have left seeps from my body. My eyes grow heavy.

And pretty soon, I feel myself lifted once again, into strong, protective arms, cradling me like a baby as they carry me up the stairs and down to the end of the hall.

I’m tucked into bed gently, with the utmost care. The covers are brought up to my chin, my hair is brushed off my forehead and his fingers lightly dance upon my cheek. But it’s not enough. I still crave more.

“Don’t leave me,” I whisper, and my voice still isn’t mine, it’s someone else, someone who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. For who she wants to lay beside her in the darkness.

“Okay,” he murmurs and it sounds like a promise but as he sits down on the side of my bed and takes my hand in his, planting a soft kiss upon the back of it, I know he doesn’t understand what I’m truly asking.

“No, Peeta, that’s not what I meant,” I say, shaking my head, before pushing the covers back. “Can you get in? Can you stay with me?”

I don’t really grasp my word choice and all the underlying meanings until it’s already slipped out and too late to take back again.

But I only have a moment to be filled with regret. Because that’s how long it takes Peeta to slide in beside me.

And as I curl into him, wrapping my leg around his waist, burrowing my face in the curve of his neck, basking in the feeling of utter safety and happiness that I have never, ever found in another pair of arms, he whispers the only thing that could erase my chagrin.

“Always.”

[bookuce]

Change My Mind

SUMMARY: Josh and Alina are great friends most days. Other days, they want to tear each other apart. Some days, they’re in love with each other, but neither of them will admit it. 

*DISCLAIMER: This is a multi-part series. I do not own any of the characters in the writing except for the OC. The book uses actual names of wrestlers. Josh is Jey, Jon is Jimmy, Trinity is Naomi, and Alina is Alina. The book is not realistic and does not take place during real events, but some actual events (matches, storylines) could pop up in the story eventually. I DO NOT GIVE ANYONE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REPOST MY WRITINGS ANYWHERE. THAAAAAANKS. *

PAIRING: Jey Uso x Black OC

TROPE: Friends to Lovers

WARNINGS: Language

WORD COUNT: 2,574

PART SIX

PART SEVEN

(1/2)

TWO WEEKS LATER

Wedding days were always hectic. When Cassie got married, it seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. It rained on the day of her wedding, and it was outdoors. Lucky for them, they were able to find another venue nearby to get married. Though it wasn’t the dream wedding she had planned, it was unique to them—making the day even more special. Today’s wedding was sunny, not a cloud in the sky. The only issue now was that the hairstylist who was supposed to do Tasha’s hair today had to cancel—sick kid, she says. 

Finding a credible, available hairstylist in the metropolitan of Atlanta on short notice would be challenging, but lucky for Alina, Cassie was in charge of that. Alina was in charge of making sure everything stayed on schedule. With a clipboard tucked beneath her arm, she and Josh walked towards the Gentlemen’s Hall, where Michael and his groomsmen were. “I’ll come get you when I’m through talking to the decorators.” She says as they cross the yard to a small white house on the side of the winery.

“You do not have to worry about me,” Josh starts. “I’m a big boy; I can handle myself.” He promises. They stop on the porch steps, Alina now turning to him.

“I know,” She says, glancing towards the door. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.” Josh knew none of the men outside of Michael; he and Michael had only spoken a handful of times. 

“I’ll be fine.” He assures her. They exchanged stares for a moment before Alina slowly began to nod. 

“Okay,” She breathes, moving up the steps. Josh was close behind, his hand reaching out to open the door for her. Blaring music poured out of the house, with loud laughter following behind. She walks in, instantly greeted by the smell of cigars mixed with expensive cologne. She fans her hand in front of her face, looking at the Eight men peering up at Alina with grand smiles on their faces. A chorus of whistles would come in for the woman, but she ignored them. She was too distracted by the fact that the air was too damn thick in this room. “Damn, can y’all breathe in here?” She asks, making a face of disgust. 

Josh stood close behind her, his eyes scanning the room. For someone who interacts with strangers on a daily, he couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. He wouldn’t admit this to his girl; she hoped he’d make friends with these men. For her, he would try. After all, they’ll have to get used to him being around for a long time. He wasn’t going anywhere. “It’s to keep the ladies out.” Samuel, Michael’s brother, says, making the men laugh.

“You’re doing a great job then.” She mutters. “Y’all need to make sure yall have this smoking shit wrapped up soon though. Tasha will throw a fit if she smells anything but cologne on y’all.” She says, pointing at the glass of liquor in Michael’s hand. He glances down at the glass, a slight grin on his face.

“I can’t calm my nerves?” He asks.

“With one drink.” She tells him. “You can get fucked up after the wedding. I don’t care what happens after, as long as my best friend is happy.” She tells him, earning a few groans from the men.

“Can always count on you to keep us in check.” A man says, his eyes finding Alina’s. There was a flirty grin on his lips while he spoke, his eyes trailing down her body. Josh notices the look, his brows furrowing slightly. She would peer over to that man, an unreadable expression on her face. She’d take in a breath, reaching behind her to grab Josh’s hand.

“This is Josh. I’m leaving him with y’all.” She points her index finger at the men, allowing it to go around the room. “Play nice.” She says before turning to her man. “Be nice.” She whispers to him. Before he could say anything, she leaned in to peck his lips. “Love you.” She says.

“I love you too.” He replies. With a wave, she spares the room one last glance before exiting the house. Josh watched as Alina left before turning his attention back to the men in the room. They were all quiet, staring at him. “What’s up?” He greets them with an upward nod of his head. Michael steps forward, his hand open for a dap up. Josh would close the gap, their hands coming together for the greeting and hug. 

“Make yourself comfortable, man,” Michael says, pulling back to look at him. “You want anything to drink? We got a cigar left.” He says. Josh shakes his head at the cigar offer. He didn’t care much for cigars. 

“I’ll take a glass, Uce.” He says, moving to sit in an open seat next to the man who eyed his woman. Josh and the guy briefly exchange glances before he returns his attention to Michael. The groom turned to the mini-bar behind him, pouring Josh a small glass of bourbon from the decanter on the counter. When he finishes pouring his glass, he turns to pass him the drink. Josh takes it, saying a small thank you to him. 

“No problem. Let me introduce you to everyone.” Michael says, lifting his hand. He points to a guy seated in a red recliner seat. “This is my little brother, Sam,” He moves on to the next. “My fraternity brothers, Calvin, Malcolm, Shawn, Kenny, Nate, and Theo.” He finishes, ending with the man sitting next to him. There was something off about Theo—Josh could tell, but he wasn’t sure what it was just yet. 

Josh nods once at everyone, giving them a slight smile. “Ay, nice to meet y’all.” He says. 

“So you and Lina, huh?” Shawn asks.

“Yeah, she’s a great woman,” Josh confesses. “I’m lucky to have her.” He adds. The eight men in the room looked after Lina, always ready to protect her. She was like a sister to most of them.

“How long have y’all been together?” Theo asks suddenly. Instead of looking at the man who asked him such a question, Josh glances down at the glass in his hand.

“A few weeks,” Josh answers. “We’ve been friends for two years, though.” Theo hums at the answer. Michael and Sam would exchange glances at the interaction, the brothers sharing some unspoken agreement. “How do you know her?” Josh asks. 

“Ex-fiance.” Josh becomes incredibly still at the answer. “Dated all through college, engaged for two.” Theo finishes. In the two years Alina and Josh have known each other, she had never mentioned that she was engaged. Josh swirled the brown liquid in his glass before bringing it to his lips for a sip. Michael and Sam both knew this conversation was going to happen eventually. It didn’t cross Alina’s mind that it would happen today. Josh was for sure going to bring it up to her later.

The brown liquid warmed Josh’s chest, causing him to clear his throat slightly and clench his jaw. He sniffles before turning to look at Theo. “I didn’t know she was engaged.” He says. Theo and Josh watched each other in silence for a bit.

“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.” He says.

“Must’ve not been important,” Josh replies, his gaze becoming cold. Theo continued to stare at Josh, a faint grin on his face. The room became silent while everyone watched the two men tied to Alina McLemore stare each other down. The grin on Theo’s face made Josh’s blood pressure rise. He could feel his body warming by the second, his ears getting hot. 

Kenny’s eyes flickered between everyone before he leaned forward on the sofa he sat on. “So, Josh, what do I gotta do to get a few tickets to Smackdown?” He says, pulling Josh’s attention from the man next to him. Theo stands to his feet, walking to the kitchen. Josh’s eyes would flicker in his direction before moving back to Kenny.

“Nothing, what show you looking at?” He asks, giving him a grin. 

“Y’all got a show coming to Savannah later on.” Kenny answers.

Josh answers with a shrug of his shoulders and shakes his head. “It’s done. Just text Lina when the time gets close, and we’ll make everything else happen.” He instructs him. Theo walks back into the room, sitting down next to Josh again. 

“So you’re a…wrestler?” Theo asks, chiming into the conversation.

“Yeah, I fight,” Josh says, looking back at him. It was a subtle warning to the man next to him. Theo peers over, a smile coming to his face again. Warning received.

“And you and Lina work together?” He continues. “Wouldn’t that complicate things?” He asks, insinuating the relationship was due to fail. Theo was on a mission to piss Josh off to the point of no return, it seems. These are typical ex-boyfriend fiancé shenanigans. Josh and Theo would begin another stare-down before Josh looks away from him. Slowly, he put down his drink. He didn’t need that anymore. 

“You want to elaborate, Uce?” He asks, turning his entire body to face Theo. Samuel and Michael looked at each other once more before the youngest brother stood. He glances at his phone before glancing over at Josh.

“I think the DJ just got here. Josh, you want to come with me to grab him?” He asks.

Without breaking eye contact with Theo, Josh stands to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll go.” He says, finally looking away from the man. He looks over to Sam before heading out the door. Sam points at Theo.

“You’re an asshole, I hope you know that.” He says before following the man who just left. Fresh air hit Josh like a ton of bricks, making him close his eyes and gather himself. He wasn’t going to get out of character today. He will be on his best behavior, but that Theo character? Ooh, he ought to kick his ass. Alina had some explaining to do. “Ay, let’s go,” Sam says, appearing beside the man. They’d stepped off the porch together and headed towards the pavilion where the reception was taking place. “I’m sorry about that, man. Theo’s a jackass.” He says.

“It’s all good,” Josh says, his eyes fixated on the ground. “I’m sure he was just looking out for Alina—trying to see if I’m a good guy.” That’s what he planned to tell himself. Theo wasn’t grilling Josh because he was jealous and wanted his ex-fiance back. No, he just cares about her a lot. It’s not because he still loves her—he just cares about her like he does. Yeah, that’s it. Delusion is the solution. 

What he doesn’t see is the expression of concern on Sam’s face at his words. If he would have noticed, there was no telling what he’d do. Sam looks down at the ground briefly before looking off at the vineyard. “It’s not my place to speak on that,” He says finally. “But to my knowledge, Lina ain’t paid that man any mind in years. She just tolerates him because he’s in the friend group.” He explains. Lina is notorious for putting distance between herself and others when she doesn’t want to talk. Josh knew it firsthand. There had been plenty of times she had ducked and dodged him when she was upset. 

“I get it,” He sighs. He had nothing to worry about, really, but still. Four years is a lot of history to have with someone—especially when you almost married them. “I’ll have to ask Lina about it later,” Josh says.

“Ask me what?” Sam and Josh stop walking, their eyes meeting the woman standing on the steps. Alina had just stepped out of the side doors of the winery when she spotted Josh and Sam walking towards the pavilion. They hadn’t noticed her yet, but she spoke up when she heard her name. 

“About your ex-fiancé.” Josh says immediately. Sam looked away from her, his hand going to his neck. 

“I’ll get up with you, bruh,” Sam says, tapping Josh on the arm. He rushes off towards the pavilion, not wanting to be in earshot of that conversation. Alina glances down at the ground. She tucks her bottom lip in between her teeth before taking a deep breath.

“Josh—.”

“You set me up.” He says, pointing at her.  “You knew damn well that man was in the wedding party, and you ain’t say a damn thing.” He says, louder than he should have. Some of Tasha’s relatives had walked by, their eyes now on the couple. Alina glances around them before reaching to grab his hand. “Nah, man.” He pulls his hand back from her grasp, causing her eyes to widen.

“Can we not do this here?” She says through clenched teeth. She snatches his hand up, now pulling him inside the winery. They’d march through the halls of the old building, her eyes darting from left to right for an open room. When she finds a room, she pulls him into it, closing the door behind them. 

Josh leans against the desk, his arms clasped tight in his lap. “I should’ve known something was up with his ass the moment he looked you up and down.” He says, shaking his head. “If I would have knocked his ass through the wall,” He gestures to himself. “I would have been in the wrong.” Alina rolls her eyes at his words, moving to stand in front of him. She grabs his hands, unclasping them to fill with her own. He allowed her this.

 “Me and Theo haven’t been together in over ten years.” She explains. “We don’t see each other, we don’t talk to each other. He doesn’t know me anymore, Josh.” It was true. Who she was at twenty-two was not who she was now. She has grown and lived an entire life since then. 

“Shit, I didn’t know strangers look at each other like that.” A mix of jealousy and insecurity was getting the best of him. Even if it’s been ten years, there’s still something there. He saw it with his own eyes. Delusion has reared its ugly head to work against him.

Alina drops his hands, taking a step back. “Alright,” She chuckles. “You can go home.” She says, moving towards the door. “And I don’t mean my house; cross that state line.” She wasn’t about to argue with someone who wasn’t trying to listen to her. 

“Lina—.”

She spins around. “Don’t Lina me! You just accused me of having feelings for someone who cheated on me. That man got a woman pregnant behind my back and defiled my trust! He broke his promise, Joshua! I don’t give a damn about that man! I love you!” And there it was, the truth he wouldn’t allow her to speak. “That man—hurt me!” She says, her voice breaking. There was a lump forming in her throat, a sign that sobs were soon to come. “And you’re hurting me right now. I–I don’t have time for this right now. I don’t—.” She was not about to ruin her makeup over him. 

“Lina, I—.” He starts once again. Before he could finish, she had already run out the door, leaving him alone in this office. “Shit.” He hisses, running his hands over his face. 

He fucked up.

(2/2)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Welcome to the Chaos! There are two parts to this chapter! So be on the lookout for the next half of it soon! I would like to attach what Theo looks like!

His name is Lance Gross for those who don't know him! Fiiiiine actor. Anywho, if you need an idea of what Alina's bridesmaid dress looks like, it's a spaghetti strap brown satin dress ruched on her left hip. I don't have a picture bc I imagined this lmao sorry

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. LETS CHAT

JOSH WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOO!!!

🏷️ list: @thesamoanqueen @whatdoeseverybodywant @headoftheetable @mzv11 @southerngirl41 @yana3sworld @wanderingreigns @wrestlingprincess80 @siriuslycee @vebner37 @astridxxxxxx @alichesmi @tshepisho @scarlettnoir01 @brokenglassslippers @reignsboy19 @sayyestoheav3nn @cyberdejos2 @empressdede @sisinever @truefant4sy @paigereeder @tbmotw @fearlesschimera @venusesworld @usoholic @sageispunk @bebesobrielo @jstarr86 @vibessonvibes @issahyland 

[maximumsass]

Green Eyes of Envy Pt. 6

Author’s Note: Hello my lovely readers!! For all the newbies that come across this Heyyyy!! I have been MIA for a long minute with this series but I got inspired again and boom I wrote for this first time in literally months! I have part 7 almost finished so be on the look out for that!But I’m back to feed your Melissa Schemmenti fanfic needs! And I hope y’all like it!! I feel pretty damn good about it and writing this made my little author heart very happy! Sending y’all all da love and hugs!

Warning: SMUTT, obviously a lot of fluffff!! And an argument which breaks my heart but couples fight gotta keep it real!

Synopsis: Thanksgiving is upon you and Mel and sadly you have made plans to go home for the holiday. Of course both you and Mel are upset about this. Emotions are running high, and someone lashes out! Will you and Melissa be able to makeup before you have to catch your flight home? And if y’all do makeup, will it include bedroom activities? Keep reading my lovely readers to find out!

Word Count: 2.5K+

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

——————————

It’s the week of Thanksgiving and you are going back to Michigan to see your family. This had been planned since August so before you and Jessica Rabbit got together. You didn’t know who was more sad about not being together for your first holiday as a couple.

You were taking a personal day on Wednesday to fly out early and be with your family as much as possible for the short trip home. Of course that meant the redhead couldn’t take you to the airport and see you off because it was the last day of school before break and this made her even more upset. You actually had your first fight about it.

“I’ll take a personal day too and then I can take you to the airport.” Mel said over dinner.

You stopped eating and put down your utensils. “Honey, you know the district is having a sub shortage. And think of your kids, they all will want to say bye to you on the last day.” You say hoping that logic will have her drop the topic.

“But I need to take you to the airport and do the sappy cry fest goodbye before you go through security.” She says looking at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“Mel, I don’t need you to do anything for me. Would it be nice if you could yes, but it’s not a good option so it’s fine I’m a big girl and I can get an Uber.” You say to her and as soon as it’s out of your mouth you wish you could take it back.

She looks at you with disbelief. “Why is it so bad to need me (Y/N)? Do you know how terrifying it is for me to admit to myself let alone to you that I need you. I could’ve easily denied that I need you but I’d be lying to myself just like you’re lying to yourself!” She exclaims and then the tears start flowing down her cheeks.

And then you realize that you’re the asshole in this situation.

You get up and walk towards her slowly to gage where she’s at. Fuck it, you need to hold her and apologize and do whatever it takes to make sure she’s okay.

“Baby I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I promise. My mouth and my defense mechanisms got the best of me. If I’m being honest I’m more upset about not being together over break than I’m letting on and I’m just trying to be fine about the whole thing. I know shoving difficult shit down always leads to hurting myself or someone I love. I think I was just trying to protect you from seeing how upset I actually am because I knew it’d make you feel more upset. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that and I sincerely apologize. In the future I’ll just tell you how I’m really feeling so it doesn’t build up.” You say looking at her, you holding her hand, your thumb stroking the top of her hand. You stand up and grab a couple tissues and hand them to her.

She wipes her eyes and then gently pulls you onto her lap.

“I forgive you angel, I know you’d never intentionally hurt me. You never have to hide from me. I want to see every part of you. Especially when you’re really upset because I know I won’t be able to fix it most times but I know with certainty that I will love you through it and sit by your side and listen and hold you through it. You just gotta let me in so I can do that. I promise I’m not going anywhere, you’re forever stuck with me. You just have to trust me.” The redhead says softly.

You feel a couple tears slide down your cheeks. You wipe them away and then lean your forehead against hers. “Thank you for forgiving me. I just want to tell you that I do need you. I’m not saying it just to say it I really truly mean it. I need all of you and like you said, it’s really scary admitting that. There’s this part of me that if I say I need you that somehow you’ll end up thinking that I’m incapable, which I know sounds ridiculous. But when one of the top assumptions about me is that I am incapable to do most things because of my disabilities, it’s something that’s always in the back of my mind.” You explain as you play with her hair.

“Oh honey. I didn’t even think about that. That makes so much sense. I know I keep saying this to you but I’ll say it again you (Y/N) (Y/L/N) are my superwoman, you’re the most stubborn, independent, get shit done woman I know, and I know that you can do and get anything you want to…well maybe not cooking.” She chuckles and kisses your head. “But when you let me take care of you, when you let yourself need me it makes me feel so special because you’re so selective about who you let in. Whenever you’re having those thoughts you just need to tell me. And then I’ll remind you how amazing I think you are, how I know you can do whatever it is that I’m doing for you and that it’s okay to let your amazing woman take care of you and need me in that moment. Besides I will always be the needier one out of the two of us, cause you’re just irresistible.” She says smiling at you.

You lean in and give her a long slow desire filled kiss. When you break away she has a big smirk on her face. “We’ve had a lot of sex but we still haven’t had makeup sex yet. Do you think you are up for checking that off our firsts list tonight?” She purs into your ear.

You mirror her smirk. “I think I’m up for our first makeup session.”

“But this is a rare occasion kind of thing miss. Fighting is not who we are. We just need to remember to talk to each other about the hard shit. You’re my safe place and I’m yours, whatever we’re facing we do it together.” She says and you nod in agreement.

Before you know what’s happening she’s takes you in her arms and she stands up and carries you to the bedroom. She lays you on the bed and then she starts undressing you, when she’s done with you she starts undressing herself but slowly to tease you, it’s working and just spikes your desire for her.

You prop yourself up on your arms so you can get a better look at the strip tease she’s doing for you. She finishes by taking off her black lace panties that she knows drive you wild. And then before you know what’s happening she’s on top of you and is kissing you with such desire. Her tongue licks your lips for permission to enter and of course you let her tongue slide into your mouth and dance with your tongue, and you moan into the kiss.

She breaks away for air, and looks down at you like you are the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She then goes to your neck and starts kissing, sucking and nibbling, you both know that she’s marking her territory.

Melissa knows and loves how independent you are but she also has this possessive side where you are hers and everyone needs to know it, hence her marking you everywhere possible. And you’re not gonna lie, you think this side of her is so hot! You love that she wants everyone to know that you belong to her.

She works her way down to your boobs, and then she’s licking your nipple and sucking it and you let a stifled moan fall from your lips. She takes your chin in her hand and gets you to look at her.

“I want to hear that gorgeous moan of yours, nice and loud.” She instructs seductively.

She then goes to the other boob and works wonders with that gorgeous mouth of hers. “Fuck Mel!” You moan as your hands grip the sheets.

“There’s my good girl sounding so gorgeous for me.” She says praising you.

She then proceeds to kiss all the way down your stomach and your legs and then she gently licks all the way up and down your folds. Your moans fill the room.

“You’re already so wet for me princess, such a good girl wanting me to fuck you so badly.” She says as she looks at you between your legs.

She then slides her tongue inside you and your hips immediately start grinding against her mouth and your hands go to her hair. She starts rubbing circles on your clit and you feel the heat starting to rise as an orgasm begins to form.

“Oh my god Mel, yes I’m almost there!” You exclaim.

And then she pulls away and gets off the bed.

“What the actual fuck??!!” You whine looking to see what she’s doing. She goes into her closet, rummages around in there and then comes back out wearing the strap.

And you feel a whole different type of desire building inside your pussy.

She gets back on the bed and climbs on top of you. She hovers over your face and then leans down to kiss you softly.

“I’m sorry I left ya high and dry, I just thought that makeup sex needed to involve me strapping you.” She says in a soft but confident tone. All you can do is nod.

She starts rubbing the strap on your pussy as well as taking your juices and putting it on the strap so it’ll enter you with ease. She looks at you for permission to enter and you nod.

She knows that you need her to be gentle and go slowly as she starts. She pushes slowly inside of you and you gasp because having her fill you feels so god damn good. She starts pumping in and out slowly at first as she moves so that you’re face to face again,she takes your hands and places them above your head and then intertwines her fingers with yours as she leans down and kisses you deeply and you both can’t help but moan.

“You’re being such a good girl and taking me so well. You look so beautiful with me filling you.” She whispers to you.

“I’m so close Mel! Fuck!” You yell out.

“Me too baby.” She pants as she thrusts in and out of you. She can tell from your face that you’re about to cum. She thrusts in you a few more times and then says “Cum for me, my beautiful girl.” And you cum all over the strap and she cums seconds later. And then collapses on top of you as you both come down from your orgasms.

“You my dear are truly my sex goddess.” You say as you smile at her laying on your chest.

“Good, then I’m doing my job.” She says softly and winks at you.

“I love ya, ya know.” You say as you stroke her head and kiss her temple.

“I know baby, I love you so much.” She says as she reaches up and caresses your face.

“I would say that’s the best makeup sex I’ve ever had.” You say with a big smile.

“I would definitely agree. But like I said, makeup sex is occasional at most. I hate fighting with you.” She says looking up at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“I know baby. Me too. You’re just too adorable to fight with anyway.” You say with a chuckle.

“I’m only adorable with you. Everyone else I instill fear into their souls!” She says and then chuckles.

“You are rather terrifying in most situations i will say.” You say with a smirk.

“You make me feel safe, ya know. That’s why I’m so soft and loving with you cause you hold space for me where I can bring down my walls and be vulnerable and I know you got me and will love and support me regardless of what I’m feeling on any given day. And that’s a big deal for me. Thank you for being that for me, amore mio.” She says softly and then leans to you and gives you a soft love filled kiss.

“You wanna take a shower together tonight? That way you don’t have to worry about taking one tomorrow morning?” She asks as she pulls out of you, gets up and takes the strap off.

“Awww look at you thinking about future me.” You say as you get up and walk to the bathroom. “You know I’ll never say no to a shower with you.” You say as she follows you into the bathroom.

“You know I always think about you and how I can make your life easier.” She says as she wraps her arms around your waist. She looks at the handy work she did to your neck just moments ago and laughs.

“I’m glad you find the hickeys you gave me so amusing.” You say dripping in sarcasm.

“What can I say, you’ve turned me into a horny teenager all over again! And I just can’t help myself, plus your neck is so irresistible. It makes me laugh because I never felt this way let alone acted like this with anyone even as a kid. And now at 50 years old a little 29 year old comes along and brings it out of me.” She explains as she caresses your neck.

“I love that I brought it out of you.” You say with a smirk.

“Me too baby, me too. Okay shower and then bedtime so you wake up refreshed and ready to embark for Michigan.” She says and then takes you by the hand and into the shower.

You shower and then get into bed, you lie there staring up at the ceiling, feeling sad that you have to be away from Mel for five days.

“You better get your cute ass over here and lay your head on my chest. You know how that helps me fall asleep.” She says as she rolls over to face you.

You roll over and maneuver yourself and place your head on her chest and wrap your arm around her. And you listen to her heart beat and her breathing get slower and slower, as you drift off to sleep in the arms of a woman who is your everything.

“Feel the rain on your skin, no one can feel it for you only you can let it in. No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips. Treat yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten!” Blares through your phone into the silent room.

“Fuck my life!” You groan into your pillow as you grab the phone off the nightstand to turn off your alarm. You feel soft kisses being placed on your shoulders and up your neck. It’s Mel’s adorable way of making you feel better in the morning cause she knows you’re not a morning person. And it really does make you feel better.

You turn to face her and are met with her gorgeous green eyes which you could get lost in for eternity and you’d be perfectly content with that.

“Good morning angel.” She says with a big smile as she leans in and kisses you softly. You wrap your arms around her and pull her so that your bodies are intertwined with each other.

“Good morning my gorgeous girl.” You say softly as you give her a sleepy smile.

“I just want to stay like this all day. I can’t believe I won’t see you for five days, it’s gonna be so weird. I’m gonna miss ya so much.” She says and then she lays her head on your chest.

“I know baby, me too. I’m gonna miss you so much. But it’ll go by fast and then I’m all yours to do with whatever you like.” You say with a big smirk.

“Ooo I like the sound of that!” She looks up at you seductively. “We both need to get up and get moving princess.” She says and then steals another kiss and then she rips the sheets off of you both and gets up.

“Fine but only cause you said too.” You chuckle and get up.

Once dressed, Mel goes through a mental checklist with you to make sure you have everything packed.

“You are very cute making sure I have everything.” You say as you put your hands on her waist and pull her in for a hug.

“I need to know you’re taken care of even when I’m not there. Not saying you can’t take care of yourself…” She says but is interrupted by you kissing her.

“I know what you meant baby.” You say to her when you break away as you caress her cheek.

“Good! You’re finally getting it through that stubborn head of yours!” She teases and playfully nudges you.

“Yeah, yeah! I should probably call my Uber.” You say in a more somber tone.

“Because I can’t drive you to the airport, will you at least let me pay for your Uber?” She asks with her big puppy dog eyes.

You knew this was just another way of the redhead wanting to take care of you. “Fine. I’ll let you get my Uber. But you better watch out I could get used to this princess treatment!” You teased her.

“Good! Cause you’re getting it for the rest of our lives together!” She quips back with a big smirk.

Mel gets an Uber for you. A few minutes later she’s notified it’s here. You walk arm in arm outside with Mel of course carrying your luggage. Your Uber pulls up and Mel puts your suitcase in the trunk. You look at her and see her eyes fill with tears. You pull her into you for a tight hug.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And you’ll probably realize how nice it is not to have me around.” You tease her and feel her laugh into your neck. “I’m going to miss you so much. And just know that whenever you think about me, I’m probably thinking about you too. I love you so much, sweetheart.” You say as you stroke her head.

“I’m going to miss you more! I love you so much amore mio. Don’t forget to text me when you get to the airport, when you get through security, when you get on the plane, when you land and when you get to home.” She instructs you as she looks at you lovingly.

“Yes ma’am.” You say with a nod and then you pull her in for a deep passionate kiss. When you break away, she gives you one more quick hug and then opens the car door for you, makes sure you buckle up and then gently shuts the car door.

“You ready to go?” Asks the driver.

“Yep.” You say as you roll down the window and wave to Mel. And you look back at her standing in her driveway watching you leave until you can’t see her anymore.

Onward to Michigan, you think to yourself.

[ynsvnte]

❥ Park Sunghoon - bad ❦

❥ Pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x Gn!reader

❥ Genre: fluff

❥ Warnings: pet names (babe), Sunghoon being a baby 😽

❥ Word Count: 330

❥ Synopsis: Sunghoon is having a bad day not until he reaches you what he calls home and his favorite person. So how can his day now possibly be bad?

Masterlist

Sunghoon walks through the rain, drenched in water, unfortunately for him, he didn’t bring his umbrella. Having forgotten to check the weather and the sudden change of weather. He’s upset, only wanting to lay down in the comfort of his home. It didn't seem like the rain was going to stop anytime soon. He has no choice but to continue walking, only having a 5 minute walk from his house.

5 minutes have passed and Sunghoon already arrived home. Sunghoon unlocks the door, stepping foot inside getting the floor wet by his wet clothes and hair. Sunghoon kicks off his shoes before shouting

“I’M HOME!”

Just then his favorite person in the world Yn walks out of their shared bedroom, rubbing their eyes, before finally opening them to see Sunghoon standing there all soaked.

“Sunghoon, why on earth are you soaked?”

“Umm…I forgot to bring an umbrella..” Sunghoon said while looking at the floor, noticing the water dripping onto the floor. “You better go shower before you get sick,” Yn said. “I know but I’m too lazy too. I had a bad day already” Sunghoon whined clearly not wanting to shower.

“Look, do you wanna get sick?” Yn asked.

“No..” Sunghoon mumbled.

“So go shower. I’ll promise you something after.” Yn offered to the soaked boy.

“Promise?” Sunghoon said like a little kid.

“Promise” Yn said before Sunghoon walks to the bathroom to shower. Yn looked at the floor thinking ‘I really have to clean up after him..’

After Sunghoon finished showering he walks into his bedroom to see Yn on the bed on their phone

“Babe? What are you doing?” He asked.

“Oh nothing just waiting for you” Yn stated turning off the phone, placing it on the nightstand.

“Cuddles?” Yn asked.

“Say less” Sunghoon said before jumping on Yn.

“OWWW! SUNGHOON YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!!” Yn shouted, complaining… “Too bad you’re trapped underneath me and can’t escape!” Sunghoon giggled clearly happy at home with his one and only love…

Author’s note: this my first time writing something so bare with the terrible writing y’all im trying 😭 anyways I hope you enjoyed this. It came up on my mind during class so I kinda rushed it a bit.

© ynsvnte copyright 2023

[lcandothisallday]

Hiiii. I wanted to know if you would write about Jeremy coming out of ACL surgery and confessing his love while he wakes up from anesthesia. I just love the caretaker/lovey aspect!

Jeremy (WMCJ) x f!reader

hmm idk how i feel about this lol

You had only been dating Jeremy for a few months when he told you he had to go into surgery for his ACL. The only issue being he had known for a bit now and only decided to tell you the night before.

“How come you’re only telling me now!” you exclaim in question. “I could’ve tried to book off of work to join you—”

Jeremy sighed. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you until now. You can’t afford skipping a day of work just for me. I’ll be fine,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“I don’t think you know the lengths that I would go for you, J,” you state matter of factly, swiftly moving to straddle his hips, careful of putting your weight anywhere near his knees before you wrap your arms around neck. “I’ll be there when you wake up. I promise. And best believe I’ll be there for every step of your recovery. Okay?” you whisper sweetly against his lips, before you kiss him, not giving him the chance to object.

The next day comes around and to say you were anxious the entire day was an extreme understatement. You couldn’t believe your boyfriend put you in this position—forced to go to work worried for him. By the time it hit 2:00 pm, you knew you had to find any excuse to leave.

“Please Anna—he’s in surgery as we speak,” you plead to your boss. “If I had known earlier I would’ve asked to have the day off sooner.”

“I told you before— that white man is gonna be the death of you,” she tsked. “Y’all only been dating for what? 3 months and he has you missing half of your work weeks. You needa set your priorities straight,” she stated sassily.

At that, you can’t help but sigh. “Anna I’m in love with him…” you admit quietly, the first time you say it out loud. You had contemplated the feeling, thinking it was entirely too soon to know. But in that moment you knew—and if it meant risking your job, you’d allow it. “I don’t want him waking up in that hospital room alone.”

Anna shook her head and let out a dramatic sigh. “Fineeee. You may leave early…but I expect you to pull extra hours when he’s recovered because lord knows you’re gonna baby that man child.”

You can’t help the smile that overtakes your features. “Thank you so much!” you say, feeling relief.

Without hesitation, you speed out. You make it to the hospital in record time, even before Jeremy is out of the surgery. You wait in his room, scrolling through your phone with your leg bouncing anxiously to desperately try to kill time.

Finally, after what felt like forever, your head snaps up when you hear and see the nurses roll him into the room. Despite his relaxed features, seeing him still unconscious made your heart sink. You stand up to your feet quickly and rush to his side, taking his hand in yours.

“Did the surgery go well?” you ask one of the nurses. She nods and smiles. “Yes it did. He should wake up in the next hour—he’ll probably be a bit loopy from the anesthesia and meds.”

You nod in understanding, your hand giving his a light squeeze which the nurse noticed. “He told me about you,” she started, piquing your interest. “Your name’s Y/N right?” You nod again.

“What did he say?” you ask curiously. She chuckled. “Well we noticed that he came in alone and asked if there’d be anyone to help him with recovery…and he mentioned you reluctantly. Said he felt guilty for dragging you in but knows you’re too stubborn to let him do anything alone.”

“Damn right,” you breathed out.

She chuckled again. “He’s lucky to have you…although I feel sorry for you. He seems like a handful. Kept going on about some detox drink,” she teased, causing you to let out a laugh.

“He definitely is at times. Wouldn’t change it for the world.”

The nurse and you exchanged a few more words before she told you that she’d be back when he’s awake to explain recovery.

You watch the nurse leave before you pull a chair closer to sit on. In the meantime, you take the time to admire your sleeping boyfriend. His eyelashes laid against his cheeks and little specks of his freckles littered his nose. He truly was such a handsome man—if only he just dressed a bit better you thought. But as he says, he didn’t choose the hippy life, the hippy life chose him.

About 20 minutes later is when Jeremy started to wake. He groaned and shifted slightly before you saw his eyebrows furrow. You quickly call for the nurse before you’re rushing back to his side, his hand back in yours. Eventually, his eyes blinked open and it took him a moment to focus on you.

“Hey,” you begin softly with a smile. “How you feeling?”

An adorable toothy grin widened on Jeremy’s face. “Hey baby,” he replied back. “I’m feeling good…I think? I don’t know—I’m hella drugged up.”

You giggled at his response. “Yeah—the nurses said you’d be loopy," you explain, as you brushed a strand of his curls away from his face.

He hummed. With a drowsy smile, he looked at you again, his words slightly slurred. "You know, you're like... the most amazing person in the universe," he mumbled, his eyes struggling to focus.

You chuckled softly. "Baby that's just the anesthesia talking," you replied playfully. "But I'll take the compliment."

"Good," he hummed in satisfaction, resting his head back on the pillow comfortably. “You’re also like super hot,” he murmured, causing you to keep giggling.

“I’m lucky to have you,” he continued. “No one has ever cared this much about me…and I love you.”

Your heart melted at his words, your hands moving up to cup his face. Whether he truly meant it or not, you weren’t sure but it didn’t matter because you felt the same.

“Oh J I love you too,” you hum, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “But I fully expect you to say it again when you’re alert and sober,” you giggle.

Jeremy grinned. “Deal…now can you kiss me again? I hear it’s part of the recovery,” he mused cheekily.

[anemptypuddingcup]

Excessively-pierced Sanji!

Art credit to the artist.

Excessively-Pierced Luffy. Excessively-Pierced Zoro.

Saw these beautiful images and needed to write immediately. I DESIRE to draw Sanji like this soon.

Contains: Excessively-pierced Sanji. Piercings everywhere, all over him. Mentions of most piercings including nipple piercings and jacob’s ladder piercings. Sanji still being sweet and soft. Soft sex. I’ll definitely write a full-length fic if y’all ask me to.

Oh my goodness, so many piercings all over him.

He’s still the same French lover boy we all know and love but with longer hair and plenty of piercings to go around. You couldn’t help but to fall in love with him and his beautiful piercings, and he’s got all types of piercings to show off to you.

You didn’t think that he’d be hiding way more underneath all the clothes he wears but boy you were in for a huge treat once you both got more comfortable with each other and eventually started dating.

“S-So many piercings.” You stare at Sanji’s face intently, looking at his adorable piercings along his ears and face. He smiles softly before a soft blush spreads across his face, a small giggle leaving him before he stands up.

“I have more love, would you like to see them?” He asked, his hand holding the bottom of his thin long-sleeved shirt. You nodded profusely, wanting to see all the others hiding around on his body.

He had piercings all over the place

Eyebrow & ear piercings,

tongue & lip piercings,

nipple & tummy piercings.

He has them everywhere.

Hell, he’s even got a single nose & neck piercing.

He’s yet to show his full jacob’s ladder he’s gotten done too. He can’t help but to feel so proud of them, not only do they look so stunning on him but they’re also attached to some of his weak points specifically his nipple and jacob’s ladder piercings.

He may look like a hard dom with the piercings but deep inside the man is still a sweet and respectful little softie. It caught you off guard the first time you hooked up with him, completely throwing you off when you found out his true nature underneath all those piercings.

Sometimes he’s tried to convince you to at least get nipple piercings to match with him but you’d always say no or tell him to wait for another time when it’s best for them.

“Pleaseeee? Can you please get some cute nipple piercings like me sweetie? I promise it’ll look so good on your pretty breasts just like me~” Sanji only begged and pouted while he suckled on your sweet hardened buds, a whine leaving him as he trailed his little tongue piercing along it. You moan out shakily as the slightly cold metal piercing runs along your nipple, your hand trembling softly against his long silky hair.

“N-No S-Sanji~ I-I c-can’t~” You moan out softly, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as as you trembled against his soft lips. He only pouts as stares up at you with a sad little frown, trying his best to convince you to just get them done and match with him.

His jacob’s ladder piercings was most stunning one of them all. The shimmering silver decorated his shaft so prettily that you couldn’t help but stare at his cock at times when it came to sucking him off. His jacob’s ladder was probably the one he was most embarrassed about since he thought he’d gotten it for no reason, until he met you of course.

“I got it only to impress the lovely ladies…some don’t find it very appealing though…” He’d sigh sometimes before completely just dropping the topic.

“It impresses me, not a lot of dudes get that done. I love it Sanji~” You admit wholeheartedly, a sweet smile across your face. It makes him blush every time you’d compliment it.

You’d have to admit that sometimes the piercings actually enhanced the feeling of his cock going inside of you every time. Each and every thrust felt like heaven as the piercings would rub along your velvety walls. It made Sanji less insecure about the decision since it pleased you and made you happy.

“D-Does this feel good love? It doesn’t hurt?” Sanji asks, a bit of nervousness spread across his face along with slight pleasure. You nodded before letting out a soft moan out against his shoulder. “I-It feels wonderful Sanji~ Please keep going~” You moan out, trembling against his lap as you wrap your legs around his hips.

He trails his soft fingers along your spine as he softly thrusted into you, a shaky moan leaving both him and you as he thrusted deep into you with a sudden gasp. You waffle your hand with one of his as you bite your bottom lip, your brows furrowing as he humps up into your cunt.

You let out a sudden gasp as you feel his nipple piercings rub up against your areola and along your nipples, the cold metal only enhancing your pleasure even more. Sanji presses his soft lips to your sweet glossy ones, a soft groan leaving him as he ruts into you a bit faster. You swirl your tongue along his lip piercings and he giggles before letting out a soft little whine.

“You feel so good sweet pea~ You’re so tight around me and my piercings~” He moans out softly into your ear, increasing the speed of his thrusts. You let out a shaky little moan as your grip around his hand grows tighter, your cunt only clenching around him from both his piercings and his thrusts. “I-It feels so good! S-Sanjii!~” You moan out, pressing your lips against his once again before laying your head against his shoulder.

He smiles to you softly before letting out a shaky moan, enjoying the feeling of your warmth enveloping his cock.

I need to write a fucking full-length fic, I just might do it.

Please tell me if y’all want a full-length fic, I’ll gladly write it for you all!