#i’ll probably start editing when i get home from class

[tvrningout-a]

a lil note about muses on here!! i’m going to reduce the amount of muses on my roster, removing characters i rarely use. this may include muses that we write together, but please don’t worry!! i’ll still write these muses with my partners who currently have dynamics with them; they will just no longer be available to the general public and will not be listed on my roster.

i’ll be honest and let y’all know that my focus has drifted away from kny a great deal, and that will be reflected when i edit my roster. most kny muses will be moved to the tertiary list, removed, or reworked for another fandom. i apologize bc i know this will be disappointing for some of you, but i need to make some changes so this blog feels neater and more accurately reflects where my interest lies. i don’t think this comes as a surprise tbh? but still i know it’s not what some people want to hear.

all that said, i do understand if you want to break mutuals — no hard feelings whatsoever!! but i hope we can figure out new dynamics and continue having fun smushing our dorks together if you stick around 💜

[justkindalivin]

Roommate trouble

summary: Your roommate Jesse and his girlfriend Dina fuck..a lot. loudly. When you finally get fed up after being woken up by their nightly “activities”, you go to Dina’s dorm for some peace and quiet only to run into her roommate, Ellie. 

warnings: Smut (18+ PLZ), Language, modern!au, college!au, making out, thigh riding, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), dom!ellie, teasing, sub!reader, not edited well (I can’t think of anything else but lmk if you find something I forgot!)  

wc: 2.7k 

an: HEY YALL!! It's been a hot minute, sorry about that! The shotgun series is still ongoing but this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. I tried to activate my asks or whatever but I’m still kinda new to how tumblr works haha. I wanna meet people in the TLOU community and make friends so come say hi!! Anyhoo I hope you guys enjoy, have a great day I love you ♡ - Lottie

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You loved Jesse, you really did. Starting from move-in day, you guys did everything together, knew everything about each other, and he quickly became your absolute best friend. When he first introduced you to Dina, a girl he met during orientation, you were so happy he found someone as sweet and open as she was. She always greeted you with a hug and smile, even going as far as inviting you to hang out with her and Jesse on whatever date they had planned. Eventually, you and Dina also got very close, going on your own little “friend dates” as she called them where you would go to dinner or just watch a movie. You always joked that if she ever got tired of Jesse all she had to do was say the word and you would sweep her off her feet. As much as you loved them though, there was one thing about them that you couldn’t stand. They fucked like rabbits. Literally 24/7. You actually didn’t even know it was medically possible for two people to get it on this much. You come home from a class and boom- they’re in your dorm going at it. Trying to take a nap in your room? Think again, here comes Jesse and Dina tearing off each other's clothes. You tried to be cool about it at first because you didn’t want to seem bitchy, but you were quickly reaching your limit. And tonight was the night you lost it 

-------

You had a long fucking day, filled with back-to-back classes that seemed to last an eternity and mountains of homework that took you hours in the library to complete. Practically as soon as you got to your dorm and your head hit the pillow you passed out, which is probably why you didn't hear Jesse and Dina come home. What you did hear, however, was a weird grating creaking noise that roused you from sleep. Blinking the blurriness from your eyes, you start to come to your surroundings. The creaking started to get louder and as you become more and more awake, you begin to notice soft moans and grunts coming from the direction of the creaking... - NO. FUCKING. WAY. 

“You little fuck gremlins, you’re unbelievable!!!” You exclaim, hucking your pillow in their general direction. The sound of a startled grunt and scrambling from Jesse’s bed fills your ears as they try to cover themselves up, and finally, you turn your bedside lamp on to glare at them. Both of them sit on his bed, messily wrapped in blankets with a light pink dusting on their cheeks, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. At least Dina looks apologetic, Jesse just looks annoyed you interrupted them. 

“I’m so sorry, I-” Dina starts apologizing, but you hold up your hand to stop her. 

“Jesse, you're like a brother to me and I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now. Like, just give me a heads up when you two are gonna fuck and I’ll leave, this is traumatizing.” Jesse slightly rolls his eyes but nods, and you can tell he does actually feel bad that they woke you. “and Dina, just give me a chance I’d treat you so right, just say the word. You’ve done nothing wrong ever, and I love you.” 

Jesse shakes his head, throwing his hands up indignantly “Why do I get scolded like a toddler and Dina gets hit on?!? Where’s the justice?”. You shut him up with a glare, then focus back on Dina.

“Dina, where is your dorm and would your roommate mind me staying there? Y’all can finish what you started but I’m getting tf up outta here.” After getting the building name and room number, you quickly pack a small go bag with essentials, wrap a blanket over your shoulders, and begin to trudge across campus to Dina’s building. About halfway there you think about how crazy you’re going to look to her roommate, a girl you’ve never met before but Dina had mentioned in passing a few times. The only thing you knew about her was that her name was Ellie and she was an astronomy major. Fuck, what were you even going to say when you got there?? Hey! Our roommates were having a fuck fest in my room, mind if we have a sleepover? You spent the rest of the walk overthinking and trying to come up with something to say when you saw her until eventually, you found yourself on their floor. Wandering down the hallway, you finally stumble on a light wooden door that was decorated with colorful bits of paper cut into the shape of mushrooms that held both Dina and Ellie’s names. Keeping in mind the mini script you made of what to say when you were walking over, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to knock on the door.

After a moment of silence, clattering and distant swearing come from the other side of the door before it swings open. Your mouth goes dry, all the words you had rehearsed flying out the window as you take in Ellie for the first time. Her short auburn hair falls messily around her freckled face and as she lifts her hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, you catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her forearm. Wearing just a white cotton tank top and black boxers, it was clear that she had been sleeping peacefully before your rude awakening. As you continue to check her out, you’re startled when her voice cuts through the quiet of the hallway.

“Dude, I was sleeping. The fuck do you want?” Ellie’s voice is still thick with sleep as her gaze falls on you. Oh shit, she must think you’re so creepy, just some rando waking her up in the middle of the night and then staring at her. You hastily blurt out your name trying to seem like less of a weirdo in front of Dina’s smoking-hot roommate

“Dina and Jesse woke me up with their... sex stuff? And they go at it all the time and I was kinda fed up so I asked Dina if I could sleep in her bed for tonight and she said yes so... now I'm here and-” Your awkward rambling was cut short by Ellie bursting out laughing, doubling over to clutch her stomach.

“No way dude that's fucking heinous! You poor thing get in here.” With that, Ellie grabs your arm and pulls you into the room, her hand finding the small of your back as she guides you in. “Welcome to our humble abode, that's Dina’s side so you can just dump your shit over there, and that's her bed.” She says, gesturing to the left side of the room. Shoving your backpack to the ground, you make your way to Dina’s bed, observing the room as you go. Ellie’s side is filled with drawings and posters, as well as a guitar that leans up against her bed rail. Pictures also litter the walls, some of her and Dina, some of her other friends, and a few of her with an older man you assume is her dad. Suddenly feeling the night catch up to you, a huge yawn leaves your lips and you crawl into Dina’s bed, letting your eyes fall closed.

“It's nice to finally meet you, Dina talks about you all the time. She didn’t tell me you were pretty though”. Your eyes fly open and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at the compliment. 

“Dina talks about you too. It's weird we’ve never met before, Dina always said I would like you” You reply, rolling over to face her to see that she was already looking at you. 

“Listen any time those two are annoying you, come over here. You’re always welcome” she tells you, a wide smile stretching across her face

“Thanks, Ellie”

“No problem pretty girl”

-------

“Ellie they’re doing it again!! They were literally eye fucking all over the room so I made my escape before my vision got assaulted. Again.” You yell, bursting into Ellie's room without so much as a knock. On that first night you stayed in Dina’s dorm, the two of you talked for hours, only stopping once daylight began to leak through the curtains on the windows. She talked about her adopted dad, Joel, what she wanted to do with her life, and her love of dinosaurs. With each word, you found yourself more and more enamored with her. You’d never met anyone like Ellie and from that day on you guys were close friends. Well... you don’t know if friends is the way to describe it. Ellie was almost always touching you, from wrapping an arm around your waist when you were walking together to pulling you down onto her lab when there was not enough room on the couch. At parties, she’d keep close to you, warding off creepy men with a snarl and her arm around your shoulders. You’d both shared countless kisses, some light and playful, others deep and passionate. There was something unspoken between the two of you, you saw it in the way she looked at you, the way she was protective over you like no one else in your life has ever been. You’d never labeled what you and Ellie had, too scared that if you talked about it, she’d get so weirded out by you reading too much into it that she would leave. 

“I keep telling you babe, set boundaries with them. As much as I love having your gorgeous face here, you gotta tell them when you need the room.”

That was the other thing, the nicknames she gave you. You don’t think Ellie has called you by your name once since the night you met. It's always pretty girl, gorgeous, or your personal favorite, babe. Wandering over to where Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, tuning her guitar, you flop face down next to her. Hearing her place the guitar down with a dramatic sigh, you feel Ellie’s body moving toward where you lay on the bed. Rough hands grasp your waist, rolling you until you’re laying on your back. Ellie kneels over you, one hand stroking the skin of your waist while the other glides up the side of your body to brush your hair out of your eyes. 

“I’ll beat the shit out of Jesse, will that help?” She offers, only half joking, earning a small giggle from you as she smiles. 

“My hero” You joke, hand rising to cup the side of her face and squeeze the flesh there. “You don’t have to, I just have to stop being a pussy and tell them. Maybe we can make a schedule or something, I don't know.”

“Oo a fucking schedule, how romantic. I’m sure they’ll love that” She teases and you shove her away from you playfully. Before you can fully shove her away, she grips your arm, using the momentum to pull you onto her lap. Her back leans against the wall and she picks you up slightly by your hips so that she can slide her thigh between your legs. 

“Shut up I’m trying okay?” You giggle raising your hand to push her once again. This time though, she catches it and laces your fingers together. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath from being WWE slammed into a cuddle session and you could have sworn you catch Ellie’s eyes flutter between your own and your chest. Did you wear a low-cut tank top and booty shorts on purpose?... maybe. Was it working? Hell yes. 

When Ellie finally looks up from your chest, you raise an eyebrow mockingly at her and her face immediately flushes a dark red. You laugh as she averts her gaze and clears her throat, leaning down to rest your head in the crook of her neck. Her hands migrate to rub your back, moving the fabric of your shirt to rub soothing circles on your soft skin. From her neck you try to sneak a look at her face, only to find that her eyes are already locked on you. With a small smile, you once again bring your hand up to cup her face, this time just caressing the skin there instead of pinching. Ellie removes her hands from your back and uses them to grab the hair at the base of your neck, bringing your head up to face her. After only a brief look from your eyes to your lips, Ellie surges forward and meets your lips in a searing kiss. 

She bites down on your lower lip playfully, taking advantage of the small gasp you let out to explore your mouth. Without realizing it, you begin to grind on Ellie’s thigh, desperate for friction. You only register you’re doing it when Ellie brings her hand down to grope your ass, forcing you further down on her thigh and quickening your pace. You break the kiss with a soft moan, getting lost in the pleasure until suddenly you find yourself on your back. Ellie slots her body fully over yours, eyeing you up and down with flush cheeks.

“Fuck, babe you’re so fucking beautiful.” She says, tracing her hand along the waistband of your shorts, toying with the fabric. 

“Please Ellie” You whimper, practically writhing under her despite the fact that she's barely done anything yet 

“Please what pretty girl? Use your words.” 

“Touch me, Ellie, please! I-I need you!” You cry out and with a smug smirk, she slides her fingers under your waistband and between your folds

“It's okay baby shh, I got you. Fuck you’re so wet, is all this for me, gorgeous?” All you can do is nod pitifully as her fingers sink into you, a harsh moan tearing from your lips. Her fingers slide easily in and out, your slick walls clenching around her as her face moves to suck marks onto your neck. The pleasure is too much, clenching your eyes shut all you can focus on is the rough pounding of her fingers within you. 

“Fuck, Ellie.. feels so good f-fuck” You incoherently babble as she curls her fingers, hitting your sweet spot and making your vision go dark. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave, your whole body clenching and shaking around Ellie’s fingers as she praises you. 

“That's it pretty, you did so good for me. You’re so fucking hot, babe.” Ellie removes her fingers and immediately puts them in her mouth, sucking off your slick with a contented moan. “Fucking delicious, will you let me taste more baby? Please?”. Not finding yourself able to speak yet, all you can do is nod and Ellie wastes no time. Clambering off the bed, Ellie grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge, kneeling before you now bare core. Throwing your legs over her shoulders, Ellie dives in, attaching her lips to your swollen clit with a harsh suck. You loudly cry out, hands flying to the back of her head as her tongue begins to rapidly lick and suck all over. You feel your orgasm approaching more quickly than before and you unconsciously begin to grind down on Ellie's face to chase your release. However, your trance is interrupted by a loud shriek

“OH MY GOD! What the fuck guys, what are you doing?!?!” Dina yells from the now open door, shielding her eyes with her hand. You scramble to cover yourself with Ellie's comforter as the woman herself lets out an annoyed groan.

“Is this what it feels like!?! Jesus, it's like walking in on your parents. I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later!” Dina rushes out and slams the door behind her, leaving you and Ellie alone once again. After a moment of silence, Ellie starts to laugh

“Well, at least she knows what it's like now. I doubt they’ll be causing you problems again.” She says between her giggles, grabbing a pair of her boxers to dress you in. You shake off your embarrassment and begin to laugh as well, taking Ellie's hand and tugging her into bed with you. As Ellie wraps you in her arms, you can’t help but think you might have to thank Jesse and Dina for being such sex maniacs.

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an: I love you guys so much, thank you for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my previous posts. Let me know if you guys can access my asks, I wanna get to know yall!! this is my first time writing smut, yall can probably tell LMAO but all feedback is appreciated  ☺︎ 

[cloudsmateria]

college roommate - leon kennedy x reader

nerdy!reader x leon kennedy

synopsis: you and leon have just started university, finding yourself in the same university visit, he comes and visits your dorm as he's been struggling in his classes. you kick it off, and you invite each other into your different, interesting lives.

words: like 4500

disclaimer: this isn't proof-read and i actually do need to proofread it and i will when i finish it, this also isn't finished. so if u don't wanna read it now and wanna come back to it when it's pristine and complete be my guest, the edit of this will be very edited like literally whole chunks of texts will be different, i just wanted to post something

content warning: kissing, bit of angst, slight smut/almost smut, sexual themes

A loud knock rings through your door, if it had come even a second later you wouldn’t have heard it at all as you were on a one-way path to passing out on top of your notes. 

“Come in.” You mumble, picking your head up off of the desk and watching as a dirt-blonde hunk of a boy you don’t recognise comes through. Maybe it’s one of the frat boys trying to get to know all the girls in his dorm house. 

“Hey. Can I ask a favour?”

“Who are you?”

"I'm Leon, I saw you in my engineering lecture the other day and you looked like you understood what was going on. Then I found out you were in my university building. So here, I am. Help. Please. I’m going to fail and we’re only 3 weeks in." His desperation makes you laugh, something you were shocked you could do in this dazed state after a mind-boggling 8 hours of completing work.

"Oh Leon, I'd love to but I think if I even think about that engineering class for another second right now I might actually drop down and die."

"It can wait, you busy right now? Other than you know, spilling drool all over your papers?”

“Yeah, I was just about to go spill some on my pillow too, I'm exhausted." You say, not entirely joking, and begin to gather your things.

“I get it.”

“We have another engineering lecture tomorrow anyway so you can just catch me then."

"You sure, though? I mean I'm already here." He shrugs and picks up a book from her bookshelf. "How do you read any of these? There are no pictures." You laugh again. 

"You're asking me how I read physics books when you take engineering… Are you sure you picked the right course? You know, you can read it if you want, and would probably benefit from it. If you can even read."

"No thanks, I'll just get you to teach it to me tomrrow. I’ll see you in a bit, Einstein.” 

"You should watch what you call me if you want me to tutor you, that’s usually not free."

"Oh, but the thing is I don't think you're actually going to make me pay for anything. You're too nice for that."

"That's a very bold statement to make to a stranger."

"You'll come round eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Can I just ask you another question? I'm not going to stop annoying you until you answer it the way I want you to."

"Go on." You sigh.

"Have you eaten today? Cause I haven't and I'm hungry."

"Leon-"

"Please."

"Okay, okay, God, you're persistent. Gonna give me a headache." You groan and sit up.

"It’s worth it, you'll need me to keep you sane later in the year."

"Oh really? You think we’re gonna stay friends that long?"

"I know you've got your nerdy brain, but I've been told I have a great personality." You can't tell if he's implying something with that disgustingly stupid joke or if he really is just an idiot. To be fair, he's funny and managed to pull you out your the room you had been hibernating in for the past few days to get ahead of work. You suppose there are worse people you could be forced to talk to.

"Whatever. Just get out of here." You push him towards the door.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You roll your eyes and lock the door, getting dressed into something that wasn't your pyjamas.

…

Now here you were, eating outside with this boy from your lectures when you had just wanted to be at home sleeping. Although it was nicer than you thought it would be, he had insisted on buying you an energy drink to keep your eyes open as you were eating in some random burger shop.

"How come you're struggling?" 

"Been going to too many parties, I've got different priorities."

"..."

"What?" He says defensively.

"Don't make me slap you. You can't be stupid because you got into this university, you're wasting your potential."

"I am not!"

"You're struggling! We're only 3 weeks in! I mean, come on, Leon."

"I don't understand what your problem is, maybe you need to live a little."

"That is rich coming from you. You're going to peak in college and fuck up the rest of your life if you ruin your chance now. And I live fine right now, I go out often enough and put the rest of my time toward my course, like a responsible human being."

"So you're boring?"

"So you're an idiot and can't plan for the future?"

"No, I'm not." He smirks. "And also, I never said I couldn't plan for the future, just that it isn't the only thing I want to focus on."

"Okay, fine, that's it. This is your problem, I'm not tutoring you."

"Got under your skin?" He smiles.

"I'm serious. You're smart if you got into this school, but you're wasting your talent partying and sleeping around."

“You’ve only known me for 20 minutes and you’ve managed to start an argument.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time. If you want me to help with assignments you need to make an effort, and if you want to be my friend, you’re also going to need to make an effort because I’m not going to care about someone who can’t even care about themselves.”

"I care about myself. Why else would I come to you for help on this?"

"Because you can't do it yourself and your friends are too stupid to ask them for help."

"No... Well... Okay fine, yeah that sounds pretty accurate. But in all honesty, I do care about my grade, that's why I'm coming to you. Now you know my intentions, I beg talk about something else, this entire conversation is reminding me of my mom."

"Like what?"

"Like, there's a party next Saturday, and I think you should come with me. You’re pretty entertaining."

"Oh, Leon. You're so clueless, it's pitiful."

"You have to go to the party, it will be fun."

"I have been to parties, I've gone to 2 since the start of the semester. But we have assignments to work on this week."

"One more little party isn't going to kill you. It'll be good, and then we can do the work."

"That's a very backward mindset." 

"You'll thank me, trust me."

"You say the reason you’re struggling is because you’re going to many parties, and immediately proceed to invite me to a party." You shake your head and laugh. “You are something else.”

“So are you coming?”

“I’ll think about it.”

… 

You and Leon had been going to the lectures together ever since, having lunch at points when he wasn’t hoarded by his friends and even managing a few study sessions into his schedule. You came 5 minutes early for the engineering lecture the next day. Flipping through the textbook notes to top up on your pre-reading beforehand, you had right at the back as Leon begged you to over text the previous night to sit there rather than the front so he’d feel comfortable sitting next to you. It doesn't take long for people to start filtering in, and eventually, that blonde-headed boy pops up next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder immediately. 

"Didn't get enough sleep last night." He mutters.

"Up studying?"

"You know me so well." 

“I'm not even going to ask what you were doing." You sigh, fully believing he had either gone clubbing or to another party last night.

"I promise you, I was studying. And you can ask me all the questions you want, I'll try my best to answer. I did go a little off track and I'm not doing well at it but your inspirational speech convinced me to try a bit."

"Really?" You ask excitedly, looking down at him. "Leon, that's great!" You feel his cheeks crease into a smile against your shoulder at your enthusiasm.

"You're more excited about it than I am, that's cute." He chuckles. "Keep talking, my head hurts, your voice helps."

"The lecture starts soon."

"Don't care." 

"I’m not going to talk over the lecturer." You say, flicking his forehead.

"It's just a lot, okay? I'm trying my best, but I might have reached my full capacity last night." He sits up and sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Welcome to university."

"Yeah, whatever. Can we go back to your room after?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Of course." 

The professor finally steps into the lecture hall, and everyone quiets down, preparing for the lesson.

Halfway through, Leon couldn't help but pass out on you again. Your body went rigid, trying to make sure his head wouldn't fall off your shoulder. You pick the paper off of his desk, dragging it toward you as you start to write notes on your own and his paper so he won't miss out on anything.

He's surprisingly cute when he's not cracking annoying jokes and snapping back with snarky remarks. He was even making you lose track of the lecture a bit.

After class, you wake him up and walk him back to your dorm with him, chatting and catching him up on what he missed briefly. When you think about it, you're surprised you only met him yesterday. He feels like someone you've known since secondary school, or maybe he just treats everyone this way. Either way, you wouldn't complain about spending time with him.

"So, we're alone. What do we do?"

"Study?" You say, throwing him a pencil and paper. "Don't ask me stupid questions like that again."

"Come on, we just got out of an hour lecture, we basically already studied."

"A lecture that you slept for half of-"

"And that you caught me up on after."

"We need to make up the time. Now come on, let's work."

"But-"

"Now, Leon."

"Ugh."

…

The next hour wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be, you could still get your work done while simultaneously teaching Leon that content he missed out on. His demeanour quickly became enthusiastic when he saw how proud you were when you understood a concept, and you were genuinely impressed, he caught onto things quickly. After an hour, you both took a break sitting on your bed, him replying to some messages on his phone.

"Hey." You say, poking his arm to draw his attention.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making the effort to try, even if it is just a little bit."

"You're definitely making more effort than me." He smiles, leaning his head on your shoulder again.

"If you want to sleep you should just go home, you must be exhausted."

"I'm not leaving you in this depressing room, I'm keeping you company."

"I’m not keeping you from anything? Your phone was blowing up a second ago I assume you have somewhere to be."

"They can wait, I want to stay around for a bit longer. I like the change for once."

"Change?"

"It's quiet, I can think for once. You’re different from the people I’m around smart and stubborn,”

“So you’re aware of the poor choice of people you hang around, you had me fooled for a while.”

“Wait I’m not done, and even after all of that, I can tell that you're a little shy which is adorable. Oh, and my favourite part is how easy you are to annoy."

"I am not."

"You're blushing right now, I can feel your cheek getting hot. Adorable."

"Don’t you even close your mouth?"

"You know I can't, come on, it's not like you mind."

"Oh my god."

"Admit it, I'm fun to be around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell me what you think of me."

"What?"

"Tell me, come on. Please, I'm dying for validation."

"Well. You're nice, and I've never seen you without a smile on your face, it's refreshing.”

“A little more… I know you got it in you.”

“You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be,. And I honestly can't tell if I'm special or if you treat everyone else this way because you make me feel way more important than I really would be for someone like you."

"You're special, trust me. And that's a stupid question to ask. Do you want a list of the people I've met? The people I’ve made friends with?"

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the real people I've managed to keep around and one of those is my dog. Don't worry about that, because I know you’re gonna be on that list too. I know you think that I have so many friends and I'm surrounded by people all the time, but they're all fake. They're just fun for parties and clubbing when you have nothing else to do."

"But-"

"It's true." He looks at you, his expression becoming serious for the first time since you've met him. "And I've got to tell you, you're different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, you're interesting. You're not fake, and you're actually doing something with your life."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, I think you’ve just surrounded yourself with one particular type of person, and now you’re shocked when you meet someone who’s not an idiot."

"Come on, I've seen the work you've done in these past 24 hours. You were working for at least 25 of them.” 

"You know how to flatter me."

"That's another reason why you should hang out with me more."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm not afraid to admit how much I like you, Einstein. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?"

"I can't even think about what I should say to that." You say, laughing and burying your head in your hands. "God, you're a mess."

“I suppose, yeah. You’re changing that though.” He lifts your chin up to face him, smiling at your red cheeks. “See? So cute.”

"Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Because you react this way." He grins.

"I hate you."

"Let me ask you something again. Are you going to go to the party on Saturday?"

"I don’t think so."

“Since I’ve got the chance, I think I can change your mind.” He smiles and pulls your face a little closer, close enough for him to feel your shallow breaths against his lips.

"I-" You can't find any words, you're stunned. He's gorgeous, and you can't deny that, but the idea of kissing him feels wrong, you can't do it. Not right now. The thought of getting with someone you're starting to have feelings for is setting off alarm bells, the alarm bells imprinted by your bad experiences from secondary school of guys playing with your emotions. No matter how much your heart is screaming you want to, your mind is screaming no. 

"You're gonna go with me right?" He whispers.

"Okay." You say hoarsely, your legs desperately pressed together.

"Good girl." He smiles, getting up and putting his shoes on. "I'll see you on Saturday." He says, before leaving.

"I'm screwed." You mutter.

… 

Saturday finally rolled around. You weren't even sure how much time you spent with Leon the day before, but you knew you wanted more.  This was starting to become a concern for you. You remember last year, when you were hurt so bad you pledged to never fall for someone again. You can't do this, not with him. You know Leon is exactly that kind of guy, he’s charming, an athlete, with too many friends for his own good, someone who has no reason to be associated with you unless he wanted something, and was patient when it came to getting it. 

And yet, here you were, wearing a simple little black dress and the heels Leon said would match. You pray that the feelings are cut off here, hopefully he sees you as just a friend and just likes to tease. But a little part of you has a sliver of hope that maybe this is real.

Leon came to pick you up from your room, as he was only a floor away. When you opened the door you were met with Leon dressed in a black bottom down with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up which definitely made you feel some kind of way.

"Leon, hi." You say, overly aware of the fabric hugging your skin, you rarely wore tight clothes. 

"Wow." His eyes were stuck to everything that wasn't your face.

"Hey! My eyes are on my face, not my chest."

"I know."

"Leon!"

"Just admiring the view." You ended up crossing your arms to try and hide a bit of your figure.

"Can you stop looking?"

"You look great, don't worry." He says.

"Whatever."

"No, I'm serious. I mean it, you look amazing. Just relax and have fun, okay?"  He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close. "You look hot. And it's only going to get better. Just try to have a good time, I'll be by your side the whole time.”

"I've been to a party before, you don't need to baby me."

"I know it’s just this one is a big one. They always end in a mess. I've had a couple of close calls with the police."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I'm worried about what I might end up doing with you, she thinks.

"Just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable and we can go." He smiles and leads you out of the dorm building and into the street.

"How far is it?"

"Only a few minutes away." He says, leading you along the sidewalk.

The walk wasn't too far, it was about 20 minutes of you both drinking from a wine bottle for some pre-game. Time seemed to fly by as you came to the house. Whoever was hosting this party, probably one of Leon's friends no doubt, was rich. The house was huge and the whole thing was vibrating with the music that blasted through it.

"We're here."

"I think it’s going to collapse.."

"Wait until you see inside." He grabs your hand and drags you in, the house packed. You didn't recognise anyone and felt a little intimidated as Leon led you through the crowd of people, pushing them aside. You couldn't believe there were this many students in the town.

He stops at the kitchen, handing you a drink. You hadn't gone to a party this big before, and that was voluntary, this was just too much. You drink it in one to hopefully get you drunk enough to gain a bit of confidence and hand it back to Leon for it to get refilled.

"I didn't know there were this many people here."

"There's usually a lot." He smiles, handing her another drink. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night. You take a shot before starting to sip on the more tame drink Leon had gotten. 

"What do you want to do first?"

"Let’s go find some of my friends.He says, taking your hand and dragging you through the sea of people, most likely dancing, grinding, or drinking.

He pulls you into the living room, finding his friends from one of the lectures and joining in on their conversation. You're introduced and you talk with them, they're all quite funny and sweet. You were happy to have found a fun little group.

The rest of the night is spent with them, the five of you getting progressively drunker and drunker and talking about more and more stupid shit before someone suggests the group should go and dance, you immediately go and hide behind Leon. 

"Dancing is definitely not my thing." You whisper.

"You have to come."

"No way."

"Please." He says, looking into your eyes.

"Why?"

"I want you to."

"Leon."

"If you hate it, I'll make it up to you. Please." He whispers, and you sigh, giving in. "I know you'll enjoy it." He smiles and leads her by the hand into the living room where everyone is.

"Everyone's too drunk to be paying any attention anyway." He says, and the group joins in on the dance. 

After a few more drinks the alcohol started to hit.

"Isn't so bad, is it?" He says after the first few minutes, watching you find your rhythm.

"No, it's fun."

"See, told you."

"Don't let it go to your head, I'm just drunk."

He smiles, spinning you so your back is pressed against his, the two of you continue to dance. He leans down and kisses your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and grinding into you.

"Leon-"

"It's hard to control myself with you, almost kissed you that time I convinced you to come to this party, could tell you weren’t sure though."

"Because I thought we were just friends."

"That never lasts long, does it? Did you really think it was going to stay that way forever?" He says, running his hand down your thigh.

"We're drunk." You mumble, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. God, you wanted it. You were trying with everything you had to rationalise with yourself. He knew what he was doing.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're irresistible. And that's not the alcohol talking. I've been wanting to do this for a while."

 He smirks, spinning her back around to face him and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Let's go upstairs,"

"Leon-"

"Shh." He puts a finger over her lips and leads her away, finding the stairs and walking up. “Stop doubting yourself. One thing about you is that you always say no, or doubt yourself, let’s change that for once.”

He takes you to the first room he finds, happening to be a bathroom, opening the door and stepping in, kicking it closed and locking it. He sets you down and starts to kiss you, the alcohol making it a lot more forceful than usual. You kiss back, letting him guide you and set the pace, his hands sliding over her body. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." He mutters, his lips trailing down to your neck. You feel the pressure of his hands pushing you backwards. Your back hits the counter, he lifts you up and settles himself between your thighs.

"Leon-"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure? About me?"

"Yes." He smiles, lifting his head. "Now stop doubting yourself, will you? You're too perfect for that." If you were sober, your mind would've had red lights blaring, trying to protect you, but the alcohol flattened out all thoughts. A hint of doubt crossed your mind instinctually. But his touch is so good, and he's making you feel things that you haven't in a long time.

"I-"

"Come on, tell me how much you want me."

"I really like you, Leon. It's just...I have this feeling that I'll get hurt."

"What are you so afraid of? What can I do to change your mind?" He whispers. "I'll do anything for you." He says, pulling your head down to kiss him. The sweet nothings bring back some bad memories, it's starting to feel a bit like deja vu.

"I've been hurt before, Leon."

"What's his name? I'll kick his ass."

"It was in high school, but it happened too many times."

"You have to stop thinking, just focus on me, okay?"

"Leon."

"Come on." He sighs, pressing a finger to your lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I don't want to lose something because someone in your past ruined everything for you, okay?"

"I don't know."

He sighs. "Do you wanna head home ?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Come on, I'll take you back."

"I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"No, I'm not letting you leave thinking you ruined it. I'm sure a million more parties are happening this week if you feel so bad."

"I'm a mess, Leon. Why do you even like me? I'm not worth it."

"Of course you are." He says, cupping your cheek."You're the only person I can stand to be around for hours while sober. And you can't argue with that."

"Okay."

"I'll get us out of here and you can crash in my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come on, we're leaving." 

...

The taxi ride home was short and sweet,  but still awkward. You were scared he'd be mad at you for ending the night so abruptly, but when you got into the room he made sure to put his arm around you, whispering reassurement into your ear, stroking your hair.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"I don't blame you for wanting to wait."

"It's just, the last time-"

"I'm not him, you can trust me. I've been trying to prove that to you."

"I think... Maybe I can learn to trust you."

"You will, eventually." He says, holding his arms open, gesturing for her to cuddle with him.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

You cuddle him for a bit, the silence being cut by the sound of the two of you breathing. Leon leans down to kiss capture your lips softly, it feels a lot easier to kiss him back, pressing your body against him.

"I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you." He whispers between kisses. "You're perfect." He runs his fingers through your hair.

"I don't know about that."

"I don't know why you doubt yourself either. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

[lonelywhalien22]

ten seconds to midnight

pairing: jungkook x gn reader

rating/genre: second chance, fluff + sprinkle of angst or angst + sprinkle of fluff idk lol

summary: it's new year’s eve and you see your ex jungkook again for the first time since you broke up with him.

warnings: time and location are abstract af in this fic so don’t try to piece together distances or a timeline from anything in this; I wrote it in a more poetic fashion – it’s just a *vibe* if you will lol

word count: 4.6k

song(s) to listen to while reading: tis the damn season by taylor swift, ruin by shawn mendes, new year’s day by taylor swift

note: cleaned this up to share while I edit my next longfic – this is something sweet with a sprinkle of midnight angst. if you happen to enjoy this fic you’ll probably like what I have coming next so stay tuned. happy new year’s everyone and i’ll see you all next year <3

Two years.

It had been two years since you and Jungkook had seen each other for the first time in that art history class – had studied together, hung out together, and eventually dated.

Six months.

It had been six months since you'd left suddenly. Unexpectedly.

Six months since those words were flung like daggers between the two of you, as if you’d been in a competition to see who could hurt the other more – who could prove they were less attached than the other was. Pretending as if all of those late nights, whispered confessions, soothing touches, and sweet kisses had meant nothing.

As if in some sort of war, the two of you had thrown, burned, abandoned, and trashed every last remnant of your relationship, overcompensating to try and prove that none of the feelings were real, that the vulnerability was all a lie, and that you'd actually been keeping your shields up all along.

It's the reason you moved further away than you'd originally planned after you graduated - why you’d signed on to the extra work at your job, the extra responsibilities…you’d even gotten a new phone number, claiming you wanted a completely fresh start.

It's the reason why your brief visit home during the holidays this year just wasn’t the same. Why Jungkook didn’t stop by with the rest of his family to drop off gifts or send cards. Why you no longer saw him at the store he always used to frequent at a specific time, the two of you in charge of picking up whatever your respective families had forgotten for Christmas dinner.

It seemed like you and Jungkook had finally succeeded in creating an irreparable chasm between the two of you.

So instead, you spent your short visit home for the holidays nervously traversing the town that still held memories of him. You pushed your cart through the local grocery store in a near state of paranoia, drove around town with the windows up, let others in the house open the door when you got the usual holiday greetings from family and friends.

You didn't miss him, you told yourself.

Even as you chose to go to his mom's favorite grocery store, or mindlessly drove by some of your old spots from when you two had been together - eagerly looked out the window of your old childhood bedroom whenever you heard the doorbell ring.

You didn't miss him.

Now it was New Year’s Eve, and you currently found yourself outside on a fire escape in the chilly night air, high above a city you were still getting to know, at a party you didn't want to be at, terrified to go back inside.

How exactly had that happened?

Let’s take a few steps back.

The New Year’s Eve party was one put together by some old friends from college you’d reconnected with in the area.

None of them felt particularly close, but after spending last New Year’s Eve alone in your tiny studio apartment guzzling down an entire bottle of champagne and falling asleep before the ball had even dropped, you figured you’d try getting out and doing something in the city you were trying to call home for once.

As you walked into the crowded party space, you immediately scouted out the food and beverages area - your trusty diversion ever since you’d been to your first party as an underclassman in college, terribly shy and fearful of large crowds. You could still remember the moment you’d spotted Jungkook from afar for the very first time in a cramped living room all those years ago - laughing with his friends in a corner, his eyes on you for the tiniest of milliseconds before he went back to sipping whatever was in his red solo cup. It was his hands you’d noticed first, the handful of tiny tattoos scattered across his knuckles. You’d been so surprised when he’d said hello to you in a class one semester later, even more so when he’d smiled easily as he admitted to remembering you, the mural of tattoos on his right hand having spread, two new ones on his index finger and another near his wrist.

Back in the present, you grabbed a few cookies and some water, slowly sipping on your beverage of choice as you resolved yourself to silently watching the party from a distance. You were here – that was progress enough wasn’t it?

"Y/n?" you heard someone shout your name eagerly.

You were surprised since you didn't think you knew anyone at this party all that well, but the friendliness of the voice made you perk up.

Turning your head in the direction of the voice, you recognized the owner as an old friend from back home.

"Changkyun?" you exclaimed, shocked.

You hadn’t seen him in forever. He was so tall and almost athletic in his build now, that you almost didn’t recognize him.

"Hey! Wow, long time no see!" he smiled and immediately pulled you in for a hug. It nearly squeezed the surprise right out of you.

You two began a conversation and caught up, laughing over old memories and how much you’d each changed since last seeing the other before he interjected quickly.

"Now that I think about it, pretty sure I saw someone else you know around here..." he pondered out loud, scanning the crowd before he spotted who he was looking for.

"Oh yeah, Jungkook is here. Hey JK!"  you heard Changkyun quickly shout across the crowd towards the center of the room.

Before you could even fully register the name of your ex you glanced over to where your friend was calling, instantly spotting the back of a familiar head of hair, though it was longer than you remembered, the ends curling slightly from the length.

“J-Jungkook..." you repeated quietly, eyes widening as your brain registered what was happening.

"You good?" Changkyun asked, noticing the change in your expression. "Oh shit, wait - you two were together at some point weren’t you? Did I -"

The rest of his words evaporated into nothing but muffled noise as you watched the head of your ex swivel around, searching for the source of the voice that had called his name. He was still as mesmerizing as ever - those big brown eyes and soft lips. His hair fell into his eyes as he turned, and it made your view of him both painfully nostalgic and exhilarating all at once.

He was gorgeous. Just like you remembered.

You stood frozen, eyes wide in admiration, until Jungkook’s gaze singled in on you and broke you out of your trance. Quickly his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they lifted up softly upon recognizing you. You watched as he mouthed your name, as if he was asking himself whether or not it was really you. But it was all muddled within seconds as you realized your vision was beginning to blur. Your throat dried up and your head began to pound, and finally you realized you were about to cry.

For some inexplicable reason, you were upset.

"Damnit," you muttered to yourself, looking down, a tear slipping down your cheek against your will.

"Y/n, are you ok?" you heard Changkyun ask beside you, but you only shook your head quickly.

"I…I gotta go," you barely managed to choke out before turning away and pushing through the crowd as fast as you could. You quickly reached the front door and tumbled out, searching for the elevator before instead opting to take the stairs rather than risk standing around for any longer.

After wandering around aimlessly for a couple floors you came upon a shaky fire escape entrance and yanked open the doors, cool air slapping your face like a tide in a storm. It brought goosebumps to your skin - the chill of the night breeze, the cool steel grates that scraped against your thighs as you sat down, the hard brick of the wall against your back, but still - you found yourself grateful for the getaway.

You shimmied to the side so you couldn’t be seen from the glass door entrance and tried to make yourself comfortable in the space that remained, your legs slipping into a makeshift crisscross position. It was ridiculously cramped, and probably not at all safe, but at least it was quiet. The isolation gave you a chance to work through some of your thoughts without interruptions from annoyingly drunk partygoers.

"Why did I come here," you whispered to yourself, frustrated.

You knew how much you hated parties, and yet you'd gone anyways, only to find yourself in the very situation you’d been fearing since the holidays had come upon you – trapped with him just steps away and nowhere to run or hide.

You were terrified to face all the damage you’d left behind in your breakup with Jungkook - the stuffed closet full of baggage and hastily thrown together lies that you knew would all come tumbling down if you ever saw him again.

If you were being honest, you'd been running from this very scenario ever since you’d broken up with him. Because somehow, after all this time, he still wouldn't leave your head - his smile, the sound of his laugh, the way he could be incredibly cute but could also make you completely flustered at the flip of a switch.

The way he’d felt like a best friend, a confidante, and a lover all at the same time. How he’d made you feel so loved in a way only he could.

You had searched for that same feeling in others, from the occasional coworker to the random blind date, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get yourself to fall out of love with him. And deep down, you think you always knew it. You'd be lying if you said there wasn't some part of you that saw a piece of him in everything you did and everywhere you went. You just couldn't lie to yourself anymore – not after seeing how you'd reacted from just seconds of seeing him in person again.

You took a few deep breaths, staring out at the lights and bustle of the city as your finger trailed longingly up and down one of the steel bars that separated you from the open air. Funny how the rest of the world just continued to go on, even when it felt like your little corner of it was being shaken to no end like a snow globe in a child’s hands.

But watching all the cars and pedestrians below carrying on with their lives – it also helped you put your worries into perspective - helped you keep calm.

Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by the cracking open of the fire escape door.

Please don't be a couple, please don’t be a couple, you thought to yourself. The last thing you needed were some handsy lovebirds interrupting your ruminations and reminding you of your own failures in the relationship department.

"Y/n?" you heard someone whisper softly. "Y/n, you out there?"

You’d recognize that voice anywhere - warm and soothing when it was singing along to a song on the radio, smooth and sweet like caramel when it was directed towards you, and immediately your body tensed.

The voice continued to call your name again and again, and you could hear his footsteps shuffling around closer and closer to you in the dark. Folding into yourself and squeezing your eyes shut, you prayed he didn’t notice you, or maybe he’d think you were some stranger - turn around and leave you out here all alone like you thought you wanted.

The footsteps continued until you heard the door open one last time, someone mumbling something too far away for you to hear before banging it shut again. You figured he didn't see you, deciding to look elsewhere, and your shoulders relaxed again.

"Didn't think I’d see you here," you suddenly heard loud and clear.

"Fuck," you shouted, too spooked to really think about it before your reflexes kicked in and you jumped, quickly turning towards the voice. "I thought I was alone out h-"

As soon as you looked up you saw that it was your ex. He stood feet away, one hand still lingering on the fire escape entrance.

"Jungkook."

You mumbled his name, aggravated as he raised a brow at your rare curse.

Quickly, you angled yourself back towards the view of the skyline, shaking your head profusely as you attempted to make him go away.

"I don't wanna see you."

"Believe me, this wasn't really how I pictured spending my night either," he retorted, and you couldn’t even lie - the words felt like a cold knife straight to your heart.

He took just one tiny step forward, hand falling from the rusted metal handle of the door.

"I couldn't just let you go off crying though."

"I wasn't crying," you spat out. It was your roughest voice yet, but Jungkook didn’t even flinch.

"You're still shit at lying," he said with a smirk instead. "We may not be together anymore, but I can still recognize the face you make when you're about to cry."

You wished he’d elaborate so you could practice never making that face again, but he just stood still, glancing back through the window. It both annoyed the heck out of you and made your heart flutter, knowing he could still read you like that.

He took another few steps towards you. Like a giant, his stature towered over you as he continued to stand, his feet careful not to step on your fingers.

"Anyways, you left this," he suddenly said, a chunk of metal entering your view. It was your phone.

How that happened, you had no idea. You must have placed it on a nearby table as you ate, distracted by you conversation with Changkyun. You grabbed it swiftly, careful not to touch his hand in any way, but you still couldn’t help but notice the decorative ink that now danced all over his fingers, the way his skin reddened in the cold.

Did he notice you still used the phone case he’d bought you for your birthday?

"Thanks," you told him curtly instead, avoiding his gaze.

You kept quiet, expecting him to finally go away now that he’d returned your phone but instead the silence lingered, Jungkook’s feet shuffling awkwardly.

“Come back inside Y/n,” he said, tone gentle, the edges of his jawline softening.

“Why?”

Jungkook looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Changkyun’s worried about you,” he mumbled eventually. “…and besides, it’s dangerous - sitting out here all alone like that.”

“I’ll be fine. No need to worry about me.”

You could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at you in silent incredulity, a cloudy huff leaving his lips in the night air before you felt him sit right down beside you. His denim-clad knee scraped yours just faintly as he settled into a comfortable position. Together the two of you took up nearly all the space on the tiny ledge.

"You want a drink?" Jungkook offered coolly, a cup of red liquid seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

It was tempting, but you hesitated. After all, you weren’t looking to get inebriated while on a shaky fire escape with your ex nearby to bear witness to some sort of embarrassing, drunken confession of longing. You generally preferred to stay sober anyways.

"It's just cranberry juice,” he told you, as if he could read your mind. “They have a bunch of it to mix with the cocktails."

Fuck.

Not only did he remember how much you hated alcohol, but also that cranberry juice was your favorite?

"You're the only person I've ever met who drinks that stuff," he used to always joke.

Back in the present, you took the cup from his hands, finally looking at him to search his face briefly, but his expression gave nothing away. You took a sip to busy yourself.

A blanket of silence fell between you. It wasn’t awkward or even necessarily tense, but it didn't feel like it was truly quiet either. Instead, it was more like there were a bunch of unsaid words bouncing around between the two of you, trying but failing to break out.

"What're you thinking about?" Jungkook asked innocently, looking down at one of his hands before focusing back on the view of the city skyline.

"Nothing," you shook your head tersely, only to hear the tiniest of hums escape his lips out of disbelief.

"So you're outside all alone, staring at the sky in the freezing cold and nothing's wrong? You sure about that?"

You closed your eyes, more and more memories rushing back to you – like the times Jungkook used to find you alone out on the campus green, just sitting with the palm of your hand pressed against your cheek, pouting as you stared at some point in the clouds. Or how he used to poke you on the nose whenever you laid your head in his lap and stared into space, that same pensive look on your face. His words were always the same every single time.

"What're you thinking about?"

It was beginning to drive you crazy the more you thought about it – how, even after all this time apart, he was still able to pick up on little things like that.

And it made you feel even crazier when you thought about the fact that you still remembered those little things about him too.

Trying to keep yourself from becoming any more affected by his words, you tried a slightly more aggressive approach.

"Well maybe I would be fine if I was actually alone."

But he only turned to face you at that remark, another deep sigh escaping his lips.

"Y/n/n.." he used your nickname this time, and he sounded regretful, like your words had actually stung. "Look, I just wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'm am ok," you said back harshly.

Another bout of silence fell between you at that – this one like a cascade of bricks instead of a gentle blanket.

"Why are you acting like I'm the one who did you wrong?" Jungkook piped up, exasperation inching into his voice.

"Last time I checked, I told you I wanted to be left alone."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about,” he said, undeterred by your attempt to change the subject.

You didn’t respond immediately, not ready to talk about your breakup out in the open.

You weren’t sure you'd ever be ready.

"I told you I wanted to experience other places…" you started after a minute or so, quieter than expected. "You know I never wanted to stay so close to home."

"And I get that, but one week?" Jungkook asked incredulously. "How could you only tell me a week before you left? I thought I meant more to you than that."

You huffed out loud in frustration, unsure how to respond.

It was true - you did tell Jungkook about your big move only seven days before you left. You did it out of fear.

Because you were scared.

You and Jungkook had gotten so close after only two years, and you’d never felt that way about a person before - you’d never felt in love.

It scared you - especially when you thought that maybe you were just getting too attached, too quickly.

If there was one thing you hated, it was dependency. Needing someone else felt like an indefensible weakness, and you were afraid that being with him, needing him, would only hold you back.

All you’d wanted was some space to cool off and clear your head - evaluate how you felt from a distance in solitude, like you always did when you felt overwhelmed by your emotions. When you finally did tell Jungkook about the move, you were hoping you two would just dial things down a little - keep in touch remotely while you took some time to think about your life post-graduation.

But instead, the whole thing had turned into one big shouting match.

Hurtful words had been thrown like weapons on both sides, and by the time the dust had settled, you were driving hundreds of miles away.

You’d ignored his calls, deleted his texts, and even refused to listen to appeals from your mother, who still kept in touch with his family. Distancing yourself away from him had only made your worst fears become a reality, and in turn made it even easier to run away from it all rather than confront your fears head on.

Avoidance was the only way you knew how to approach things that were hard - uncomfortable.

And maybe that's why you were sitting here on this damn fire escape in the first place.

"I just wanted some space," you defended yourself.

"But so suddenly? Was there something I did wrong?" he asked you dejectedly.

You turned to look Jungkook in his eyes, and behind his seemingly calm face you could see real pain. You really had hurt him, and in that moment you wished you could tell him the truth – that he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd done everything right, but you just hadn't known how to deal with the intensity of your feelings.

"Did you really have to change your number? Pretend like I didn't even exist?" Jungkook spoke up again.

"That's not fair," you shook your head. "You really hurt me with your words when I finally did tell you."

"Because you broke my heart," he exclaimed, getting visibly upset. "You told me you never loved me - that all of those memories, all those moments we shared...” he looked down for a moment. “You said none of it mattered. That I’d ‘taken it the wrong way.’"

"I didn't mean any of that," you blurted out loud.

"That's what I told myself," Jungkook started, "but what was I supposed to think when you completely cut me out of your life?"

You sniffled silently, unable to come up with any more excuses.

Simply put, you’d both really hurt each other.

As you focused back on all the lights down below, legs beginning to cramp, you felt a curtain of warmth envelop your shoulders.

Jungkook had draped his denim jacket across your body. You couldn’t help but fixate on how the fabric was soft and worn, and it smelled just like him - that same combo of body wash and cologne that you still couldn’t erase from your memory.

"Are you two dating?" you heard him ask quietly.

"What?" you asked, confused before putting two and two together. "Me and Changkyun? No…"

The question took you aback. What did it matter to him anyways?

"I came alone and ran into him unexpectedly," you explained further. "Why are you here?"

"An old classmate invited me," he told you casually, contemplating his next words for a moment before continuing. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that maybe I'd see you though..."

You felt your heartbeat quicken at the casual admission, but you didn’t have much time to think about what it meant as he smoothly moved on.

"What about you? I thought you hated parties."

You sighed, hesitant to be so honest but feeling a strange sense of courage regardless.

"Well normally I do, but last New Year’s just...wasn’t all that great," you started.

"How so?"

You took a deep breath before continuing, counting off the reasons on your fingers. "Well, I was alone. And it sucked. I didn't even make it to midnight before I just fell asleep. So I decided this year I'd try going out instead."

"And how's it going?" Jungkook asked, the tiniest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Tonight, I mean.”

Was he flirting with you right now?

"Not sure yet…" you played along, "but I'm still awake so that's a plus."

Again you sat quietly for a few minutes, neither of you making a move, not a single word shared between the two of you. This time the silence was comforting. You became hyper aware of his knee brushing against your own, and your insides felt so warm that suddenly the cold air didn’t faze you at all.

Maybe, just maybe…

Your quiet stalemate was interrupted when the fire escape door slammed open and the sound of drunken giggles grew louder and louder, a shaggy head of hair sticking itself outside to ogle at the two of you.

"Oh, shoot, looks like this one's taken babe," the random guy shouted in a slurred voice.

"Well hurry up and find somewhere else, I can't wait any loooonger," some poor girl whined, just as tipsy.

They disappeared as quickly as they came, the door shutting with a bang, and you and Jungkook couldn't help but burst out into laughter.

"Was their plan to screw each other on the balcony?" you heard him utter your exact thoughts aloud. Not so innocent memories crept into your mind for a split second before you squashed them.

He's still your ex, you reminded yourself.

"Not sure,” you said instead with a chuckle, “but it certainly looks like we’ve reached that point in the evening where I typically remove myself from the situation."

You pulled your phone out to check the time. "It's midnight,” you realized.

You two had been out there together for over half an hour.

"Guess that means it's time to go, huh?" you heard him ask.

"Yeah…"

Neither of you moved to get up though.

You weren’t expecting to still be with Jungkook at this point, and suddenly you were unsure of what to do. How did one say goodbye to an ex?

How did you say goodbye when you didn't want to?

"Y/n?" Jungkook said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked at him with bated breath, urging him to continue as fireworks began to go off in the distance.

"Um…" he stalled, clearly trying to find the right thing to say next.

Hating the silence, you improvised, taking off his jacket to give back. The warmth that previously enveloped you disappeared immediately, and it left you feeling strangely empty.

"Here, let me give you back your jacket before I forget."

"Oh…yeah, thanks," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

As he leaned over to grab it, you quickly kissed his cheek before backing away and looking down, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Sorry if that was weird," you started, "but I just…wanted to apologize. For everything I put you through back then."

To your surprise, Jungkook shifted a little closer to you, lips pulled into a soft smile as he shook his head. "You don't deserve all the blame. We both said things we shouldn't have, and I'm sorry too."

Butterflies burst free in your belly, and the fireworks that lit up the sky seemed to form a faint outline around Jungkook’s head as he stared at you, eyes boring into your own, keeping you frozen in place.

His hand slipped into yours lightly, and you looked at them for a split second, fingers intertwined in warmth as he spoke. Slowly but surely, you felt yourself drawn towards him in a familiar lure, like a moth to a flame.

Like a wanderer finding their way back home.

"Any chance we could just pretend like it's ten seconds to midnight again?" you asked shyly, and he instantly cracked the biggest smile you’d seen from him all night.

Jungkook said nothing, instead leaning in to kiss you gently.

[thesamoanqueen]

All Dat

Raiting: 18+

Warnings: Smut; errors like always

A/N: I’ll be out for a couple days since is MITB week, but I always do my duty.

She had worked most of the day, watching over and over hours of material, old edits, reading tons of interviews with all the same questions that would probably have been discarded as soon as they arrived. Working away from the creative team without being able to have immediate comparisons was complicated, but she had found a way to make it work anyway, to be efficient and always beyond expectations. She was willing to make more than a few sacrifices to keep herself independent and still be as present as possible in their relationship, especially if she was repaid with a good glass of wine and a dip in the pool with Roman. Well, frankly Roman was all she needed, but that was a whole other story and he kept spoiling her like it was his life's mission so… she could take advantage of the whole package.

-Mmh… this one doesn't get out of here – he greeted her, swimming up to her, to put himself between her legs and wrap his arms around her hips like a vice.

She liked to always look neat, look in her best shape and yes, even show off a bit. It made her feel good about herself, was a boost to her energy, a pamper to her mood and Roman hadn't skimped on compliments since they'd met. Not a single day.

She knew he said it to give her attention and that he appreciated it, but she also knew that new bikini wasn't going to show up for any beach trips or vacations really. Her big boy was possessive and jealous if someone crossed the line and the stuff she was wearing was a bit too an clear invitation to look more and more. She had bought it online, from an exclusive collection in which it looked different from what she was wearing and it bothered her a little, because making images and shots work was her job. The top was fine, it showed what it was supposed to, covered what it needed, but the bottom… either her hips had stretched out more than they should without asking permission or it was the bikini’s fault. It barely covered her under there and Roman or not, she liked to show off with class, she wasn't that kind of woman.

- I don't even know why I bough it – she admitted with a snort, feeling him kiss her stomach, stroking her back and sides with full hands, while she fixed it for the umpteenth time, the water of the pool rising between them and then ending up beyond the edge due to their movements.

- Cause you're gorgeous and you take care of me - Roman smiled amused, slipping his fingers between the aquamarine laces wrapped around her curves.

- You? Since when my bikini is yo business?

- Since everything under these tiny strips is ma business and you’re always good with me – he announced incredibly seriously, leaving another trail of kisses on her belly, to then go down a little more, dedicating himself to her thighs.

Unable to hold back her smile, Y/N started playing with his hair, quiting the attempt to put the bikini in its place to caress him, while he showed her all the attentions as always. She felt his beard brush along her skin, his full lips petting her inner thigh before biting down lightly, hands holding her firmly in place. From the top of the poolside, she watched him move slowly and inexorably in the water, the muscles of his shoulders shiny, the reflection of the lights along the edge of the pool, highlighting his dark tattoo.

- You've been home for an hour… less? – she reflected amused, already knowing how it would end up and she cocked her head when Roman undid the first knot on her hips, still kissing her.

His big hands pulled her towards him, securing her legs on his shoulders, licking a few drops off her caramel skin.

- Im thirsty - he said hoarsely, Y/N holding him by the strands on his head, feeling him go down to the thin strip of cloth that barely covered her.

- Ain't takin you a drink… - yet another mark printed between her legs, a kiss on her abused skin, fingers pulling another lace.

The already ridiculous fabric of her bikini fell off either side of her, bonding to her bare body only at her neck, but Roman left it in place just long enough to bring her eyes back to him.

- Mama taugh me how to do things, I can get myself a drink - he assured with a more deadly expression and Y/N really wanted to laugh, but he stole her breath by placing a sloppy kiss on her mouth and then slipped fully back in the water.

Y/N followed him with her eyes, delighted as always, affectionately scratching the back of his neck as he claimed his place between her legs. She brushed a strand from his face, feeling the heat building in her chest even before it got between her legs, refraining from jumping on him and kissing him for the rest of the evening, night, even her whole life, when Roman planted his eyes on her as he began his work. He pounced on her unhurriedly, spreading her folds with two fingers to give a first lick along her opening. Y/N moaned in excitement at his touch, snuggling her leg a little on his shoulder, seeing him smile cocky as he gave her yet another kiss on the soft thigh before diving into her core. His tongue was a fat pro, and each time he traced her moist contours to sink deep inside her opening, Y/N pulled him a little closer, one hand planted firmly on his head.

- Hn… like this – she encouraged him, fingers tightening in his dark hair, loosening the bun.

- It's been a long…-his mouth sucking first one fold-… day…-then the other-… I missed you – inexorable.

- … I missed you t-ah!

His beard itched against her sensitive skin, pool’s water slowly mixing with her moods each time he spread his mouth wide to eat her, dripping from his face. Y/N felt his breath against her button and belly twisting as he slowly fucked her with his tongue, the liquid heat building inexorably in his eyes and in her core. She rotated her hips instinctively trying to raise it, holding him in place with her hand, because patience under those circumstances really wasn't for her, but Roman locked her down with a gaze. Y/N saw his brow furrow and soon his white teeth slowly pinch at her knot of nerves, causing her to fall in a spasm to rest her back on the stone floor of the pool. She closed her eyes, feeling his big body come forward, pull her forward and soon found herself gasping at the slowly darkening sky. She felt his long fingers, joining the amazing work of his mouth, stroking her, rubbing against her smooth skin, spreading her folds, one hand feeling her stomach, holding her still more successfully than she had ever had with him.

For an unspecified time, Roman kept slowly to prepare her, warming her without haste and Y/N panting towards nowhere, feet now crossed behind his neck to have him close. Under her hands, her breasts naked and wet, rising chasing the increasingly hot breath, fingers that every now and then ended up on the grass beyond the poolside strip. Y/N had the feel that Roman was recharging her, licking away all the excess thoughts of her mind, stripping her of them as easily as he had stripped her of that obscene tiny bikini.

- Turn around and rise that pretty ass – she heard him order almost from afar, but when Y/N reopened her eyes and raised her head, he was already on his knees on the bench inside the pool.

His legs were half immersed, his swimsuit low to leave his hardness ready and shiny for the water. The pool’s lights gave him a dangerous look and Y/N couldn't take her eyes off him until he helped her back up, pinching her side to encourage her to do as he said. He kissed her nose, out of pure affection and she let out a languid smile, sliding her stomach onto the pool’s floor, feeling the rough ground against her nipples, moaning because of it and Ro’s hands. She felt his thighs rub against her ass, the weight of his hard cock past the curve of her buttocks, fingers dragging over her messy opening.

- Don't hold back - she asked in a cry, rocking her body against him once, before he slipped inside her effortlessly, filling her to the bottom.

- Lemme do my things - he said hoarsely, giving a long thrust that left her gasping and immediately another.

Y/N found herself resting her cheek on the ground, staring without really seeing the grass in the garden, the lights twinkling along the walkways, near the deck chairs, flickering as if she was drunk. Roman fucked her slowly and good, his movements were overpowering and for each thrust, Y/N felt his dick slamming against the bottom of her walls, in that sweet weak point that he always seemed to find in any circumstance and position. Her heat kept to build slowly, from the bottom of her belly, from his fingers holding up her hips, from the drops of water that dripped down his chest between their bodies, from the water splashing everywhere. His slow movement made her rub against the floor, her nipples harden and her moans breaking as they reached her throat. Her walls reached out to take him in until she felt completely exposed, holding on to his shaft as he mercilessly opened her, holding him as if they were afraid of him running away from her. Thrust after thrust, powerful, massive, the slimy sound of water and bodies colliding.

- Such a good girl… making Daddy hap-py – Roman growled low and Y/N nodded instinctively, quickly, feeling his hard cock throbbing inside her and the pace increasing.

- Y-yes-please yes

Roman was capable of accelerating almost unnaturally and she never resisted when it happened, begging hopelessly, slamming her hips into him for a better grip, for more even as her folds began to throb nonstop. She felt his strong arm pull her over him, pass under her stomach, to force her back against his broad chest and then come back to rest on her hip, his other hand holding her throat, kissing her shoulder.

-R-Roo ahn – the control he had over her body was almost toxic, but Y/N liked it.

She liked listening to his quicken breathing, his growls of pleasure growing dangerous, lower, synchronized with the throb of her spongy walls contracting, squeezing his full length. She adored his mouth biting her neck, her ear, fingers holding her throat without ever squeezing. She rubbed excitedly on him, fragile against his huge body, gasping as he guided them both to their climax, closer and lower, switching between the raw and slow pace to drive her crazy.

- I-im clo-se

- I know… ssh, fuck

Another kiss, more sloppy, but equally full of love, before bending her again, forcing her to put hands on the floor. Y/N let her head hang down, hair covering her face, as she gathered up what little clarity remained and then lifted it, gasping as she felt Roman give a couple more thrusts, long and confused, his hardness banging between the her walls pleading for a release. She moved back, trying to stay in place as possible and with the umpteenth hit on her sweet spot, she collapsed arching again with a strangled cry and almost immediately feeling Roman empty inside her from the spasms of her core. Gasping and rocking to the full curve of her orgasm, Y/N let him do with her as he pleased, pounding her again and again, until his cock had nothing more to give and he let go too, pulling her onto the bench inside the pool with him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face under his head, still feeling him inside her, hands still gripping her hips. They stayed like this for a couple on minutes, silence cradling them.

- Maybe I could keep that bikini – she murmured at some point, hearing his low laugh, hands caressing her lazily.

- Keep what you want babygirl… all dat stuff won’t stay in place anyway

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @angelreigns444 @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @iovereigns @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @ichdrachenfrau @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @wrestlezaynia @reignsx @reigns-central-blog @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @thedonsfactory @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @namjoonspinkytoenail @tribalchiefdaily @2baddies2furious @vebner37 @raeluvshammett @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @thewarlordsworld @jeonmahi1864 @jxtina-86 @harmshake @harlem11680 @joanoai @southerngirl41 @blkbutterfly816

[cyberrfangs]

“Velvet Ring” — . . . Big Thief ♬

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

IN WHICH…

You’ve always had feelings for Nick. But, has he ever felt the same way you feel for him?

WARNINGS: male!reader, angst, use of Y/n

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

“BEN, he loved her like he loved no one”

“THE way she laughed and held a smoking gun”

“THE way she always said, ‘What’s done is done’”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

My feelings towards Nick were always there. When we were kids, I would always get nervous whenever we hid together in hide in seek. Or whenever we would partner up together in class.

It took until Nick had come out that I finally came face to face with my feelings. And they only grew stronger once the realization settled in.

I had always been there for the triplets, helping start their YouTube career, moving with them to L.A., and things like that.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

I sat in the Sturniolo’s living room occupied on my phone before a text chimed from the top of my phone. From Nick.

Nick❤️

— “Hey, just finished filming today’s video! Coming back now.”

I always volunteered to watch over their house whenever they filmed. Well, why wouldn’t I? I would get a free opportunity to see Nick and snag a few of the snacks in their pantry. A win on both ends.

You

— “Alright! I’ll see you all soon, drive home safe.”

I typed, setting down my phone with a light sigh as I got up. Freshening up the kitchen and living room, fixing whatever I had messed with throughout the few hours.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

The sound of the front door unlocking before creaking open caught my attention, and my head turned to look in the direction of the noise. An instant smile spread across my lips as my eyes fell onto the triplets. Getting up to greet them.

“Hey, guys! How’d recording go?” I asked, my hands falling into my hoodie pocket while I walked over to them. Their grins are always a telltale sign of a good time.

“Pretty good, I’ve got to get to editing pretty soon, though.” Nick spoke, slipping his shoes off before walking up to me. “Thanks for watching the house, again. Can never be too safe, right?” He laughed breathily, nudging my shoulder with his hand.

A chuckle slipped from me at his comment, my cheeks turning a soft shade of pink at the contact of his hand. “Yeah, no problem. I’m always open to doing this.” I nodded my head slightly, my eyes instinctively tracing his addicting features.

The silence between us lingered for a moment, the sound of Matt and Chris talking merely background noise as I found myself getting lost in the depths of his blue eyes.

“Well, you should probably head home, now. It's late,” his voice broke the silence, cracking me from my trance.

“Oh, yeah. I'll head out now.” I nodded sheepishly, feeling foolish of letting myself get lost in my thoughts again. Finding it harder to contain my thoughts around Nick. “Goodnight Nick, tell Matt and Chris I said goodnight as well.” I dismissed myself, slipping on my shoes before I walked out of the front door.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

It was a late Saturday afternoon, finding myself hanging out with the triplets as the four of us sat in a restaurant. Sharing laughs and casual conversation with one another.

The lack of Nick's laugh soon fell upon my ears, my eyes dropping to him. The sight of him looking down at his phone, a giddy smile on his lips as he seemed uninterested in what me and the other two guys were discussing. My curiosity piquing.

“Hey, whatcha doing?” I asked him, trying to glance over at his screen as I had sat directly next to him. Catching a glimpse of a string of text messages before he turned his phone away.

“It's nothing, I'm just… talking to someone right now,” he said with a sheepish grin, his cheeks flushed as he spoke of the other person.

My heart dropped, my grin dissipating along with it.

“But, you can't tell Matt or Chris. Promise?” he said hurriedly, though in a hushed tone. His hand reached out to sit on my forearm, the blush on his cheeks slowly falling as he looked at me.

“Yeah— yeah, your secrets are safe with me.” I cleared my throat, offering him a forced grin. Not wishing for him to know just how much that simple statement affected me.

The sounds of our waiter grew nearer, the plate of steaming food being set in front of me. Though my appetite was long gone.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

I met him, I had finally met the guy Nick had been raving about for the past two months.

He was handsome, fit, and had a nice fashion sense. He made Nick happy, that was all that mattered. Right?

Envy and jealousy bubbled within me as I found myself unable to tear my eyes from them, sitting across the room from me at some party the triplets were invited to, me being their plus one. Chuckles and bright smiles being passed to each other.

I never made Nick smile or blush the way he does.

Is it me?

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

My world felt like it was crumbling around me. And I couldn't do anything about it.

I hadn't come out of my house in days. No, not after Nick and he had gotten together.

I'm supposed to be happy for him, really. But all I've found myself doing was wishing that instead of him. It was me.

That I was the one who held Nick. That I was the one who would kiss him, comfort him, love him, and be loved back.

Messages from the brothers and other friends stacked up in my phone, not finding the energy to care as I slept away my worries.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

And now, as I sat at his wedding. Watching as the vows were exchanged, I could only let my tears fall. A weak smile masked the thoughts that ran through my mind.

“If only I had won him over”

“That could've been me.”

“Is it me?”

“I love you, why cant you love me back?”

“Why not me?”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

NOTE:

I’M sorry💔

I’M thinking of making this into a series. But, a few things will be changed. CONSIDER THIS A TEASER (??)

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

[winchesterwild78]

The Hunter pt 4

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader (together), Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Bobby Singer x Reader (Uncle/Niece)

Warnings: Mention of Death, Angst, Cheating, death

A/N: I’ve been working on getting some stories out and it’s driving me crazy. I’m turning this one into a series, probably short(ish), not 100% yet. This story came to me after starting Supernatural again. We all know how Dean feels about relationships, but let’s just pretend he finally gave in. 😀 

*time jumps in this chapter, this story is coming to an end soon.*

This is my own work, please do not take it or copy it without my permission. It’s based on characters from Supernatural, but doesn’t follow the timeline completely. I wrote it fast and edited it fast. Please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 1 year*

Dean had been promoted to assistant manager of the garage, and you were almost finished with your degree. You loved working with kids, so you were getting your teaching degree. Dean has been so supportive and helped you study. You were stressed, working full time, trying to be a good girlfriend, and taking night classes. 

You were sitting at the kitchen table studying late one afternoon. Having planned a dinner to celebrate you passing a test, you went to the grocery store, and planned to have it ready for Dean when he came home. While the chicken was marinating, you pulled out your homework and started working. 

At some point you had fallen asleep, completely exhausted from the long hours you’d been putting in with work and you going to school. You were sleeping so deeply you didn’t hear the door when Dean came home. “I’m home, sweetheart.” When he didn’t hear you answer he went looking for you and found you asleep on your pile of work, drooling. 

It was the cutest thing he’d seen in a while. He took out his phone and snapped a picture. Dean walked over to you and softly shook you away, “Baby, I’m home. Wake up.” You sat up, wiping the drool from your face. Dean smiled, “rough day?” You stretched and yawned, “No, just busy. I’m so sorry Dean, I had dinner marinating and I must have fallen asleep.” 

Dean pulled you into his arms, “It’s okay sweetheart, just cover it and let’s go out to dinner, or I’ll order something and go get it.” You started to cry, overcome with emotions and exhaustion, “Dean I had planned an amazing dinner to celebrate me passing that test we studied for.” Dean kissed your lips and wiped away your tears, “Hey, come on. Let’s go out and celebrate. If you want, you can cook it tomorrow night.” 

You agreed and grabbed your coat. Dean drove the two of you to your favorite diner. You both ordered a cheeseburger, french fries, and chocolate pie for dessert. Over dinner the two of you talked about work, life, and your future. A woman walked in the restaurant pushing a stroller, and holding the hand of her toddler. She looked overwhelmed and exhausted, trying to keep the baby from crying and the toddler from running away. She sat down in the booth behind you and Dean. 

She placed the toddler in the booth first, and grabbed the crying baby out of the stroller. Your back was to her and Dean was looking behind you chuckling and making faces. You turned and saw the toddler popping their head over the booth and making faces at Dean. Before the mother could stop him, he crawled under the table and came over to you. Climbing in the booth with you he hung on you. The mother was out of the booth apologizing, but you and Dean told her it was okay. 

She ordered food for her and the toddler, while she fed the baby. Her son, who you learned was named Matthew, took a liking to you and Dean. “Looks like you’ve got some competition, Dean.” You laughed playfully. “Looks like it, hey Matthew, that’s my girl.” Matthew looked at Dean and shook his head “no”. When their food arrived, you helped him back over to the booth. You sat with the mom and learned her husband had just died unexpectedly, and she was so overwhelmed with taking care of the children alone. 

Your heart ached for her. When you asked her how her husband died, you weren’t prepared for what she told you. “The police say it was an animal attack, but I don’t think it was. He was acting strange the night he died. He was in his study working, then all of a sudden he said he had to leave to find “her”. I have no idea who he was talking about. The autopsy revealed he had a high level of oxytocin in his system. They never could explain that. When I got his clothes back, there was lipstick on them.”

You took her hand and offered her an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. Do you know who the lipstick belonged to?” “No, Eric was loyal and we were so in love. The police think he was having an affair, but I know Eric, that wasn’t him at all.” 

You helped her feed Matthew so she could eat too. You gave her your number and told her if she ever needed a break or help to give you a call. She thanked you and once she finished eating she took over with Matthew.

You returned to Dean who was smiling at you. “What? What’s so funny?” “Nothing, I just love watching you take care of people. You’re amazing, you know that.” You grabbed his hand, “Thank you, so are you. I think we have a hunting problem, though.” Dean’s eyes went wide, “What makes you say that sweetheart?”

“Well Amber’s husband died unexpectedly recently. The police think it was an animal attack, but she isn’t convinced.” You continued telling Dean what Amber told you, “Dean, I think we are dealing with a Siren.” “Really? I guess that would explain the odd behavior and the high level of oxytocin.”

“Should we call Bobby or Jody in on this?” You asked, looking at Dean. “Not yet, let’s do some research first.” You shook your head in agreement. The two of you talked more about the potential case and finished eating. As Amber left, she stopped by your table and thanked you again for your help. You nodded and looked down at her sleeping baby and smiled. She was so beautiful and peaceful looking. Dean noticed how you looked at the baby. 

He knew you wanted children, and to get married. He just wasn’t sure if it’s what he wanted yet. Dean loved you and would do anything for you.You noticed he was staring so you offered him a soft smile. “Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Winchester?” 

“Nothing, just thinking about our future and if it includes children.” His words cut you, “If” you asked. “Yeah, I love being with you, but I see how much of a struggle it was for Amber to juggle Matthew and the baby. I just don’t know if we could do that.” “She’s alone, Dean. We would have each other. We could do it together.” 

Dean shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. I mean it’s something we can talk about later.” You nodded, but your heart dropped. The future you envisioned with Dean included you two being married, working at your jobs you loved, and at least 2 kids. Now it would seem he didn’t want the same thing.

The drive home was quiet. You stared out the window replaying Dean’s words over and over again. Dean knew something was wrong, but was afraid to ask what was wrong. He figured it was about children, but he didn’t want to argue. 

When you two got home you walked to your bedroom, grabbed your pajamas and headed for the shower. You locked the bathroom door. You’ve never done that, but you needed space. You needed to think. Dean heard the shower and smirked, walking to the door he called, “You need any..” His words cut off when he tried to open the door and it was locked. 

He heard you inside crying softly. “Sweetheart, please let me in. We can talk this over.” He knocked on the door. “Dean, please just go. I need to think.” You called from the shower, stifling sobs. He knocked again trying to get you to open the door. “Dean, I said go away!” 

Dean let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed his jacket and keys, he slammed the door and left. You heard the door and collapsed to the bathtub floor, sobbing. You loved Dean, but you knew you wanted children. You wanted his children, but now you don’t think that’s possible. So you have a choice to make, stay with the man you love, and not have children, or leave and have children with someone else eventually.

Dean got in the car and drove to a local bar. Since the two of you had been together he hadn’t stepped foot in a bar unless you were with him. Tonight, however, he was alone. When he walked into the smoky bar he looked around. He spotted couples, and single people throughout the bar. Dean made his way to the bar and took a seat. 

He ordered a whiskey and was slowly sipping it. Dean pulled out his phone and saw your picture and sighed. He was about to send you a text, when he heard a voice beside him. “Hello there, handsome. How are you tonight?” Dean turned his head and came face to face with a gorgeous blonde. She had a killer smile, a big chest, that she was showing off, and the perfect body. “I’m doing better now.” Dean smiled at her. She touched his arm and leaned closer to him.

“So what are you looking for tonight?” “I don’t know, what did you have in mind?” Dean asked. 

His mind was racing, why was he going after this woman? She leaned in and kissed him. Dean kissed her back, deeply. She could taste the whiskey on his breath, and he could taste her mixed drink. 

“Let’s go some place where we can be alone,” she whispered in his ear. Dean threw money on the bar to take care of his tab and took her hand. Their hands were all over each other and their lips were too. He leaned her against the car and started kissing down her neck and running his hands up her shirt. 

Dean felt more alive than he had in months. He wanted more from her, and she wanted more from him. They got in the car and he started to drive towards the house.

It was a quarter past 2 in the morning when you finally started to fall asleep. You knew Dean must have gone out drinking, so you closed and locked the bedroom door. You were hurt and pissed he would leave for hours. You know you told him to leave, but you didn’t think he would have been gone for so long. By the time you went to bed you had a headache from the crying, and your heart was broken. You made Dean leave, and he did. You thought he would have fought harder for you, for your relationship, but he just left. 

Not long after you started to drift off to sleep you heard Dean come back home. He didn’t try to open the bedroom door. Instead you heard him going into the guestroom and then closed the door. You rolled over, determined to get some sleep, when you heard giggling. 

You sat up, listening again, because you thought you were mistaken. You heard the giggle and Dean laugh. Tears pricked your eyes and your heart broke. Dean brought home a girl from the bar. How could he?! You grabbed your robe and walked toward the guest room. You opened the door and the sight before you broke you. Dean was almost naked, kissing this beautiful, thin woman who was very much naked. “Dean!” Dean didn’t answer you or stop kissing her. 

She looked over her shoulder at you and smirked. “Dean! What the fuck are you doing?!” He still didn’t answer you, it was like he was under a spell. Then it hit you, Amber’s husband. You looked over at the mirror attached to the dresser and saw the Siren. You grabbed the bat you kept by the door and hit her in the head, knocking her off Dean. 

He stood up and tried to defend her from you. You hit her again. Dean grabbed the bat from you and pushed you into the wall. He lifted the bat above you, the Siren standing near him and urging him to kill you. “Kill her baby, kill her for me. She’s trying to take me away from you.” Dean swung the bat and almost hit you, but you ducked in time. “Dean, stop, please. It’s me, Y/N. Please, baby, stop!” You begged Dean as he lunged at you. 

You ran into the living room and grabbed the bronze dagger Bobby had given you. When Dean lunged at you again, you sliced at him, coating the dagger in his blood. The Siren was right beside Dean, urging him to kill you. You lunged at her with the dagger, piercing her flesh. She screamed in pain and dropped to the ground, dead. 

You collapsed crying and begging Dean to snap out of it. Once she took her last breath, Dean came out of her spell. He looked at her and looked at you. He walked over to you and as he grabbed you, you yelped and pulled away. 

“Shh, Y/N, it’s me. What happened?” You looked at Dean and saw his green eyes full of love and confusion. You knew he was back. You fell into his arms and sobbed. After you calmed down, you told him what happened and. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I was careless and I shouldn’t have left.” 

You helped patch him up and the two of you burned the siren’s body. When it was time to finally go to sleep, you crawled back into your bed. Waiting for Dean to come, but he never did. Walking into the living room, you found Dean stretched out on the couch. “Dean, are you coming to bed?” You asked softly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, sweetheart.” Dean said, looking down. “Oh, okay, yeah I understand. Um, good night, Dean. I love you.” “Good night sweetheart, we will talk tomorrow.” You stood beside the couch for a minute, waiting for him to say “I love you”, but he didn’t. Your heart sank.

You slowly walked back to the bedroom, crawled in the bed and cried into your pillow. Dean heard you crying and wanted to comfort you, but he couldn’t forgive himself for hitting you, or putting your life in danger. He loved you and if he was being honest, he wanted to have children with you. After tonight, he didn’t think that was possible. You could have been killed because of his stupid actions. He refused to risk your life, or the lives of his children. 

He laid on the couch and listened to you cry for hours. His heart broke with every tear that fell and every muffled sob he heard. The urge to go to you and wrap you in his arms grew. He pushed himself off the couch, and made his way to the bedroom. He wasn’t sure if you would let him in, but the ache in his chest, the need to comfort you was too strong. 

Dean saw you laying on the bed, your back to the door and curled in a ball. His heart broke all over again and a tear slipped out. He crawled in the bed and laid behind you. Without warning you turned and buried your face in his chest. Dean wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.

He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head and felt you relax in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I love you so much and I do want to have children with you. I’m just scared.” You lifted your head and looked at him. Your face was tear stained, your eyes red and puffy from crying. Dean still thought you looked so beautiful. “I’m scared too, Dean. I don’t know how to be a wife or a mother, but I know we will figure it out together. I’m scared of dying early and leaving you and our children. Isn’t that what life is about though, being scared to do things, but finding the courage to do it anyway?”

“You’re right sweetheart. I just don’t want to screw up being a husband or father. You and our future children deserve so much more than that.” You looked at Dean, cupped his face, “Dean Winchester, you are one of the kindest, loving, protective men I know. You are going to be an amazing husband and even better father. Look at Sammy. You raised him and he turned out great. You don’t know how to fail. Sure you might mess up, you’re human, but I know you and I know you will do whatever you can to make it right. I love you and I want to marry you and have your children. I trust you with my life, and I would trust you with our children.”

Dean took a shaking breath and he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your lips, “I love you so much. I would love nothing more than to marry you and have children with you. I know I said earlier I wasn’t sure if I wanted children, but I do. I see a future with you and our children. Living this apple pie life, and occasionally hunting. Our children will live a normal life, Y/N.”

The two of you talked and made a promise to always talk things out, no matter how long it took. You promised not to shut him out, and he promised not to leave and head to the bar. After a few hours of talking, the two of you drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. 

*Time Jump 6 months* 

You were standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom looking at the outfit you’d picked out for work. Nothing you put on seemed to fit right and you were already nervous. You had finished your degree and were starting at a new job, teaching 1st grade. 

Dean walked in your shared bedroom and wrapped his arms around you. He saw how nervous you were, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” He kissed your cheek. You leaned into his embrace, “Thank you baby. I don’t feel beautiful.” 

Dean spun you around and pulled you to him, “Y/N, you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You’re going to be amazing with those kids, and you’re going to be even more amazing with ours.” He placed his hands on your growing belly. You had already started to show, 5 months pregnant with Dean’s little girl. He kissed your lips, “Come on sweetheart, let’s get you something to eat and to work. We don’t want you to be late.” 

You nodded, took one last look in the mirror and cradled your belly. You could feel her little kicks, which got stronger when she heard Dean’s voice. You smiled and left the room. Dean had prepared a delicious breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and orange juice. 

Sitting at the kitchen table you started to eat and noticed Dean staring at you. You smiled at him, “What?” “Nothing, I’m just in love with you. I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even more beautiful.” You felt the heat rise in your cheeks. The two of you talked and ate breakfast. When breakfast was done it was time to head to work.

Dean kissed you goodbye and told you to have an amazing day. You loaded your car and kissed Dean goodbye. “I love you Mr. Winchester.” “I love you too, Mrs. Winchester.” You smiled on his lips. As you climbed in the car and grabbed the steering wheel the sun caught the diamond on your finger. 

After the siren, your and Dean’s bond grew stronger. He proposed, you found out you were pregnant about a month later, and the two of you got married. Everything happened so fast, but you were happy, both of you were happy. Dean had been with you every step of the way with the pregnancy, and when he found out you were having a girl, he was even more excited. 

You knew he was going to make an amazing girl dad. 

Driving to work, you knew no matter what you and Dean had each other, your little girl had both of you. As you drove your phone went off with a text message.

Dean: Have a good day. I love my girls.

You smiled and rubbed your belly, “Baby girl, you are so loved and so wanted. You already have your daddy wrapped around your little finger.” You felt her kick and you smiled. “I love you so much, sweet girl.” 

Part 5

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[phenomenalgirl9]

Suddenly: Han Jisung x Reader

Summary: Y/n can't really stand Jisung, what will she do when she had to work with him for a Semester's project?

A/n: This was self indulgent and insipred from true events of ya girls' life.

W/c: 1.4k(-ish)

Genre: Slight Enimies to Lovers, fluff.

Warning: none (i think)

Rating: U

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“The list is up, check the line up and come 1 hour early for practice” Mrs Jung informed you before she left the class. 

“Okay!” You said enthusiastically.

And of course you forgot to check the line up and reached 5 mins late to the theatre, your assistant director and best friend Nayeon waiting for you. “You're here! We've been waiting!” She said.

“We?” You asked as you don't see anybody else in the theater except…. Minji. “Wait, Minji is here?!”

“Uh- you didn't check the list?” Nayeon asked and you shook your head in terror. “Oh Jisung is the Music Director for your play this term” she said. 

“WHAT?! NOT AGAIN!!” You threw a whine “I need him changed! I can’t work with him!!” as Mrs Jung appeared from behind one of the stage wings. 

“I thought I had written that the set-ups are final” She said with a glare and you grumbled inwardly as the person in question appeared. “UHHHH!!” you said and stood up and Jisung walked to you with a smile. 

“Hey Y/n!” He said brightly, “hi, Jisung” you said, trying to hide your annoyance to the best of your ability. 

“Jisung-ah you’re finally here!” Minji said, clinging to his arm as he smiled and said a joke to her that you didn’t care to register. 

Yes, Han Jisung and his overly friendly attitude annoyed you. His assistant Music direct-slash-your friend MInji is shamelessly down for him and that irritates you alot too. What irritates you more is that Jisung apparently enjoys that but he told Minji he doesn't feel that way towards him. That made him a dick, and you didn’t really appreciate that. But if you want your play to go smoothly and pass the term you will have to cooperate with him. You did work with him once in the past and that was how he acts all friendly with you but that was before you knew Minji and found the true colors of Han Jisung. 

“Let's get started” Mrs Jung said and you all started discussing your script, the music the vibe and the overall aesthetics with the props teams. The number of backgrounds needed and arrangement was discussed. Jisung putting his inputs here and there, well, if it came to these things Jisung was extremely skilled so you were kinda feeling glad that Mrs Jung chose him. 

In 3 days rehearsals started, “Jisung pick up the beat from this que not after” you said in a huff.

“Just wait and check this out” he said and got the scene to re-do picking up the beat 3 seconds after the queue. You sighed, it did seem better than what you had originally written “We could go with this” you said and got back to your position near the stage ignoring the shit-eating-grin on his face. 

----------------------------------------------------

“Did you eat?” You heard Jisungs voice as you typed away in your laptop, Mrs Jung had given you some inputs and you had to edit the script to accommodate those before you could move further, you just shook your head. 

“Here” you saw a sandwich held in front of you. “I don’t have time for this, Jisung” You grumbled. “Just open your mouth” he said “I noticed you were late in the morning today so you probably didn;t even have breakfast” he said and as if on queue your stomach grumbled and he chuckled. You just took a bite and got back to typing, Jisung scrolling away on his phone and occasionally feeding you the sandwich.

----------------------------------------------------

“Jisung-ah? How long will it take for you?” you heard Minji’s voice, followed by Jisung’s “I’ll need some more time, you can leave early”

“Okay!” she said and left.

“You’re not going home?” you asked Jisung and he shook his head. “I need to finish this melody or the practice will be hindered tomorrow” he said. You sat beside him, “Let me see what you have so far” you said and he played the melody on the piano.

By the time you were done it was good past 8pm. 

“I’ll walk you home,” he said. “What? No need, I can go by myself. It’s not that late” you tried to dissuade him. “It’s non-negotiable! Lead the way” he said. And a smile played on your lips, why is he so different in front of you? Is it all an act? However your mind was shut down when he called your name and the two of you started talking. 

----------------------------------------------------

The closer you got to Han Jisung the more you noticed that the Han Jisung you were seeing was completely different from what Minji has ever told you. This Han Jisung is attentive to what people say, he actually cares when one of the actors or crew seem overworked and helps them. Ordered coffee for everyone when practice ran too late. Often forced you to take breaks, pulled you out of a heated situation before you got angry. This Han Jisung was someone you never expected. It's as if the more you try to push him away, the more he reels you in. 

----------------------------------------------------

“That was great!” Mrs Jung said as she completed overseeing the last practice session. “Tomorrow god really great but rest up well before that” she completed and gathered her things to walk away. 

As she left, Nayeon walked to the back stage and helped one of the prop dudes to bring in 2 boxes. “Time for our pre-stage tradition” she cheered. Yes, it's the University’s drama clubs tradition to drink on the night of the last rehearsal. Then rest the whole morning next day and get ready in the afternoon for the show. 

“Ah. I hope this time we get chosen for the competition” you whined and rested your head on Nayeon’s shoulder. “Right! That would be so lit! Right Jisung?” Minji squealed. 

It was barely two hours and the rest of the crew were down. 

“Only 2 cans left. Wanna finish them?” You looked up to see Jisung handing you one of the last cans in the box. You stood up and walked up to the audience aisles and up to the balcony and sat on the rails. “Come” you said and patted the place beside you for the boy who obediently followed you. 

“Can I ask you something?” He asked and you nodded your head.

“How did you find yourself in dramatics and stage?” he asked. 

“Um… My aunt was an actress, I used to visit her shows all the time with my mom. While people like to be close to the stage to see better, I loved getting balcony seats so I could see the whole stage and what's going on” you said, maybe even overshared cause you were quite tipsy. “How about you?” You asked.

“I just love music, I've basically grown up with music. And then during teenage years started writing songs as a hobby and then finally decided to pursue it. Remember when we first worked together during 2nd semester. I was actually about to work with a group from the Dance department but I read your script from the student forum and was so moved I found out the dude who wanted to participate and got him to exchange our projects” he said and giggled. 

You giggled too, “I didn't know that was the reason why he changed” you said. 

“I think we should get off the rails” he said and got down and extended a hand for you. You took it and got down and almost tripped if it wasn't for Jisung who held onto your waist immediately to stabilize you. 

“I'm tired” you said and hugged him back as he held onto your waist. “Me too” he said and hugged you back, you felt his breath on your neck and your breath hitched. You turned your head to look at him and his face got so close to yours. Your lips barely touching, he didn't move away and somehow you didn't want to. So you pulled him in and connected your lips to his. He pushed you up against the rail and deepened the kiss. He kissed craddled your face in his palms and kissed you like you've never been before. Your hand roaming all over his torso and your lips moved in sync with his. His hands slipping down your neck and taking refuge on your waist as he pulled you closer. His hands are about to creep into your top. When he stopped and drew a breath and kissed your forehead. 

----------------------------------------------------

You woke up in your bed and looked around in shock to see you back in your empty room. 

“Fuck! I kissed Jisung!” You suddenly remembered. 

----------------------------------------------------

Masterlist

Networks: @k-vanity @caratlibrary @sandsofire

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance: The Outtakes - Rekindled

Word count: 12.8k

Pairings: Sam x OC

Warnings: Alcohol, Smoking, Cursing, Mentions of Sickness, Death, Heartbreak, Abandonment, Dramatic Themes, Angst, Fluff, Smut Including: Kissing, Making Out, Touching, Fingering, Digital Penetration, Praise, Unprotected Sex.

A/N: Hey! Welcome to Vigilance: The Outtakes! Not everything can make the cut, right? These outtakes will be snippets of things that we cut from the original story during the editing process, but are still important to the overall storyline and may even provide a bit of background information on previously mentioned plots, characters and themes. These outtakes will not be posted on a schedule, but will be released as we see fit. Keep your eyes peeled you won't want to miss these!

SAM POV

AUGUST 2017

“We did it boys…” Danny said, flopping down into the chair in the makeshift greenroom. 

“Finally a fucking week off…what’s it been? Two months?” Jake says, popping the lid off of his beer. 

“Yeah, two months.” you reply, sitting down on the worn leather couch. You were still sweating from your set, your heart still racing and the adrenaline still coursing through your system. The last show of your two month long run across the East. Tonight you’d leave Atlanta and head home for a much needed break.

Luckily tonight the set was just a handful of songs, and you knew them like the back of your hand, in fact, you could probably play them in your sleep. 

“Then what?” Danny asks. 

“Then we start back again, hit the West. Be gone until we come home for Christmas I guess.” Josh replies.

Shit. A week off? That’s it?

Seconds later a man walks through the door and nods, “Good show boys, gotta clear this room for the next act. Make sure one of you sees the bartender for your payout.” he says, and just as quickly he is gone. 

“Damn, really getting the royal treatment.” Josh says. 

“I’ll start loading up, Danny, you want to help me?” Jake asks.

“Yeah, Sam, you got clean up?” he asks.

“Sure.” you agree.

As they all file out of the small room you begin collecting up trash, empty cans and bottles into a grocery bag you found on the table. You had spent all of about two hours in here. How you had amassed such a large amount of garbage was a mystery. 

Once you had all of the trash collected you set it on a table and began moving the chairs and furniture around, repositioning everything how you found it when you got there. You made your way over to your bass, locking it securely into its case, and setting it by the door for Jake and Danny. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you looked up from your duties as you pulled it from your pocket. 

Y/N

10:38pm: Yeah! Classes are going so good! I made some new friends! Miss you! Where are you guys even at?

Of course. You’d asked her that four days ago. Four. 

You shook your head and shoved it back into your pocket snatching the bag of trash off the table to take to the dumpster.

It was hot outside, and the air was so humid you felt like you were practically swimming. If you weren’t already sweating, you were now. The streets were busy with people walking from bar to bar down the bustling strip. 

You walked around to the back of the bar, spotting the dumpster in the alleyway, near where Jake and Danny were loading the van.

As you stepped up to it you noticed, there were actually two dumpsters, one trash, and one recycling. You smiled to yourself and began sorting the trash from the bag in your hand, tossing the cans into the blue dumpster.

As you were about to walk off, a side door opened, and a girl in a pair of black denim overalls stepped out, hauling a black trash can behind her. Her face was covered by a mess of brown curls tied up into a messy bun. You watched her struggle to pull the obviously heavy can towards the dumpster, as she fought with the yellow rubber gloves on her hands. 

“Here, let me help you.” you offered, watching her head snap in your direction. 

She looked up at you, her eyes as big as the moon overhead. “Oh. Oh, sorry. No. It’s okay. I’ve got it. Just full of liquid I think.” she said, dragging it towards you.

“It’s really no big deal…” you offered again, stepping towards her. 

“Just help me drag it over?” she asks. 

You nod, and grab the handle, pulling it to the dumpster with ease. 

“Thanks. How embarrassing.” she said, a blush creeping over her face. A small dimple formed in her cheeks as she tried to stifle the smile on her lips.

“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m sure that thing is full of half drank beers and glass bottles.” you said, trying to cheer her up. 

“You were playing, a little while ago…” she said, starting to throw bottles into the dumpster.

“Yeah, I was. Did you catch our set?” you asked nervously.

“Yeah, I mean sort of, I was collecting trash but I heard you guys, caught the end for sure.” she answered, a small flutter gliding through your chest. 

“What did you think? Did you… enjoy it?” you asked, completely unsure if you wanted to hear her answer.

Even in the dark light of the alleyway you could see how pretty she was. A tingle in your chest caught you by surprise. You hadn’t felt it in years. 

“Yeah! You guys were alright.” she admits.

“Oh. Yeah, well, this is our last stop for a bit. We are a little burnt out, kinda ready for a break.” you say, trying to seem like it didn’t hurt you just a little. 

A smirk crossed her lips, “I’m Elle. Well, Eleanor, but my friends call me Elle.”

“Are we friends?” you ask playfully.

“I think we could be.” she smiles, hauling the heavy bag out of the can. “This is typically the part where you tell me your name.”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry, I’m Sam.” you laugh.

“Well Sam, what’s your band called?” she asks. 

Oh god, don’t ask…

You swallow nervously, “Greta Van Fleet?” you answer.

“Is that a question?” she asks.

“No. You’re right. Greta Van Fleet is the name of our band.” You answer confidently.

“Okay Sam of Greta Van Fleet, where do you guys live?” she asks.

“Michigan. Frankenmuth, Michigan.” You say, pointing to your palm. “What about you? You live here?”

“No. I actually live almost two hours from here. I’m just here for the night.” she says.

“Working in a bar?” you ask.

“Well, kind of. The bar owner gives out tickets for shows here if you volunteer to clean up after a show night. Blitzen Trapper will be here next month and I really want to go, so I figured tonight would be just as good as any.” she says.

Wow, a girl with taste.

You smile at her, watching her throw the black trash bag into the dumpster, shaking off her yellow gloves. She removes them and holds them in her fist as she turns back to you. 

“I’m really glad I picked tonight.” she smiles. 

“I’m glad you did too.” you agreed. 

“So, Sam from Greta Van Fle–”

“Sammy! Let’s go!” Jake calls out in the distance. 

Shit.

“You have to go…” she says nodding her head, grabbing the handle to the trash can.

“Yeah, we have…a long drive ahead of us.” You admit.

“A long drive, huh?” she smiles.

“Yeah, maybe I could text you?” you ask, feeling your heart pound out of your chest.

“Are you asking for my number, Sammy?” she says, mocking Jake’s words.

“Yeah, I think I need it.” you reply, probably putting your feelings out there a bit too much.

She smiles and reaches out her hand, as you pull your phone from your pocket. You hand it to her, and watch her type away, her eyes sparkling in the light of your phone. 

“There. I sent myself a message so I’d have yours too.” she says, handing your phone back to you. 

You glance down and a smile sneaks out seeing her name across your screen. Eleanor, with a small white heart.

 “Perfect. I need to go before they leave me here. And yes, they definitely would leave me if you’re wondering.” you laugh.

“Okay, well you better go…I hope I hear from you, Sam of Greta Van Fleet.” she smiles.

“You will, Eleanor of… two hours away from here.” you laugh. 

You put your phone in your pocket and start to walk away, heart racing as your mind tumbles though a thousand different scenarios.

“Sam, wait!” she calls. 

You turn on your heels, looking over your shoulder at your brothers, starting the van. 

“You… you sounded really good. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you all night.” she admits, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

“Really?” you ask, the thought falling from your lips before you could catch it.

She nods, “This is going to sound crazy, I know we just met by a dumpster and I probably reek, but I just…I feel like I want to kiss you.” she says.

“Me?” you ask, completely shocked.

“Yeah…” she smiles, her dimple showing again.

“For the record, Elle, even covered in trash juice, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long time. And I want to kiss you too.” you reply.

You grabbed her hand and pulled her towards you, letting your hand glide up to her chin, as the two of you drifted towards each other, before pressing your lips together. Your hand cupped her face as you felt her soft lips against yours, sending a shock through your body. Her hand rested on your stomach as you kissed her back, slow and soft, if only just this once. 

You pulled away from her, eyes completely blown out with lust, as you removed your hand from her smiling face. 

“I’ll see you Sam…” she said, shoving her gloves into her back pocket, lugging the trash can through the door behind her. 

You stood there as the door shut, mind spinning from the kiss you could still feel on your lips. Who was this woman? What had she done to you?

“Two seconds asshole!” Jake yelled from the driver's seat.

You ran over to the van, sliding in next to Daniel in the back, still thinking of her. You pulled your phone from your pocket and immediately went to her message. 

You

11:13pm: Sam

Should you message her again, or should you wait to hear from her? You wiped your sweaty hands on your jeans, bouncing your leg up and down as you tried to weigh your options. 

“What’s got you all worked up?” Danny asks, scrolling through his phone.

You let out a sigh, “Nothing I just…I just met the coolest girl.”

“A girl?” he asks, looking over to you.

“Yeah, throwing trash in the dumpster.” you smile.

“Romantic…” he smirks.

“It kind of was…” you admit.

“Whatever, might as well forget her. You’ll never see her again.” he laughs.

No. You knew you would. But you couldn’t say that. That sounds crazy. Right?

After a few more minutes of nervously switching between apps on your phone you opened your thread with her, and began to type.

You

11:34pm: Too soon?

Eleanor🤍

11:39pm: What took you so long?

—

From that point on the two of you were practically inseparable, well, not physically. You would spend most of your time talking to her. Texting, calling, anything you could. The more you got to know her the more you realized how similar the two of you were. She told you about her hometown, a place similar to your home. She told you about her family, just her and her dad. She told you about her hopes and dreams and you told her yours. She encouraged you and believed in you, eventually admitting she watched your entire set that night, barely able to drag her eyes away from you. 

Elle was the beacon of light you didn’t know you were looking for. Finding you at a time in life where you felt stagnant. As the tour continued through the fall the two of you grew closer, eventually deciding to see each other again as soon as possible. That time would come around Christmas, when you’d convinced her to come to Frankenmuth. She met your family and your friends, all who welcomed her with open arms. How could they not? 

To say the two of you were nervous would be an understatement, but the moment you saw each other it was like everything clicked into place. All the hours spent talking to each other, learning everything there was to know about each other, all had a meaning. A purpose. 

When summer rolled around she decided to stay for the season, taking a job at a local boutique and crashing with you. You spent your days busy working, and your nights wrapped up in each other. Your life felt like it was finally falling into place. You couldn’t imagine a day without her in it, and frankly you didn’t want to. 

A year later, when the time came to move to Nashville, she decided to move with you, packing up her life in Georgia and moving to what she referred to as ‘the big city’. She had her conditions though, opting for her own apartment a few blocks from your house. Though the two of you spent practically every night together, she felt happy having her own space, and who were you to take that away from her?

You remember that summer, the first time you told her you loved her, sitting in your backyard, watching the fireflies buzz around in the bushes. She watched them in awe, talking about her childhood and chasing them near the lake. You still aren't sure if it was the heat or the alcohol, but the words tumbled from your lips and you made no effort to stop them. You did love her. You think you may have even loved her that first night you kissed her. Through the years it became more and more clear to you that you couldn’t live without her, and maybe you weren’t supposed to. It hadn’t been an easy road but it was one she wanted to travel with you.

—

SEPTEMBER 2020

“Alright guys, let’s take a break. I gotta piss and I need a drink.” Danny said, standing up from his kit.

You slung the strap over your head, setting your bass into the stand before bounding up the stairs after Daniel. It had been a long week practicing nonstop. Tucking yourselves away in the foothills of the mountains, where the fog rolled in around 7pm. You spent days strategizing, writing, even arguing, but making magic nonetheless. 

After a morning spent in the sun shooting visuals for the single release, you promised to lock yourselves inside the basement for the rest of the night, hammering out a few final details for one of the tracks. 

There were pro’s and con’s to not being able to tour. But as of recently, you’d only been seeing the con’s. At least that’s how it felt. You weren’t able to travel at all, and mentally you felt it was taking a bit of a toll on you. You liked to fill your days traveling city to city, and country to country. Truth be told it's all you’d ever really known. So when you were parked in Nashville indefinitely, it brought all of your lives to a screeching halt. 

You sipped a seltzer on the stiff leather couch, placed peculiarly in the living room of the cabin, watching as Josh and Jake argued over the difference between a Hazy IPA and a Juicy IPA, stating ‘not all hazy’s are juicy, and not all juicy’s are hazy’. Regardless they both did the job of numbing your mind to the persistent bickering of your twin brothers.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, causing your eyebrows to raise, seeing as how you hadn’t had proper cell phone reception in nearly two full days. You pulled it from your pocket, and swallowed nervously as you read the name on the screen.

Eleanor🤍

10:25pm: Hey, just wanted to let you know that Dad passed away the day before yesterday. He went peacefully. I held his hand all the way through...hospice was here to make it a little less painful. His funeral is this Friday. 

Eleanor🤍

10:27pm: Sam, I’m not coming back to Nashville. I need some time. I’ve gotta get my feet back on the ground and figure things out. I hope you understand. Thank you for everything you did for me, and for my dad. I know he appreciated you all the way up until the end. Please, don’t respond to this, just know that you were one of the greatest parts of my life. 

You stared at the phone in your hand while the guys continued to talk in the kitchen.  You settled forward with your elbows on your knees as the news hit you. 

You sat there, completely dumbfounded and unable to form a thought. He died two days ago? Why hadn’t she said anything? 

She was completely alone, she was there with him when it happened. She has nobody to lean on. No one to cry to. What does she mean she’s not coming back to you? Is she leaving you? Is it over?

You knew you hadn’t seen Elle in a few weeks; she decided with her dad being so sick, it was best to stay away from each other for a while so as not to bring any unforeseen illness around him. She left you with a kiss and a see you soon, and you believed her. You understood. You agreed. You agreed with the unspoken condition that she would be back. But now?

You dropped your phone to the floor beside you, letting your head fall into your hands.  

“Sam?” Danny said, walking over to your side. Jake and Josh followed closely behind, as they all stood around you. 

“What Sammy boy, you okay?” Jake asked. 

You kicked your phone to his feet, eyes barely catching his movement as he bent down to retrieve it.

“What? What does it say?” Danny urges.

“Fuck.” he says, blowing out a breath, “Elle’s dad died two days ago. She’s not coming back.”

—

LATE JUNE 2021

You never thought you’d find yourself in this position. After Elle left you were a little unsure if you could ever even feel like that for another person again. It took you months to pull yourself out of the depression you were in. Spending night after night wondering where she was, and what she was doing. How she was doing. Texts went unanswered, phone calls straight to voicemail. It was the worst you had felt in your life, and you didn’t know how to snap out of it. 

Throwing yourself into the production aspect of the new album, you nitpicked and critiqued every last detail until you felt it was perfect. Essentially it was. You and Josh would spend nearly every night listening to the album start to finish, picking out things to tweak the following day. Eventually both of you ran out of fixes. Those nights spent with Josh were the most helpful. Letting him talk to you in a way that only he could. Explaining things in the way only he can. Slowly you came around, meeting Daniel for dinner, or Jake for drinks. Going for  a walk through the park with Josh. Every day started to get easier and easier until you woke up one morning and the hurt you were harboring was so small, you couldn’t feel it anymore.

A few weeks later you walked into a bar to meet the guys, and left with the last person you’d ever expected. A person who held a piece of your heart you weren’t sure you’d ever see again. Suddenly though, you took hold of a piece of hers, and you would be damned if you were ever going to let it go. 

Things had changed. She had changed. But she was also the same girl you remember, sitting next to you on your living room floor, pencil behind her ear as she drug her pink highlighter through a history textbook. The girl who slow danced with you at prom to a song that has lived in your head ever since and for the first time in a long time Elle was not a thought in your mind. 

—

You

1:37pm: Hey there sunshine! Question…

Y/N

1:41pm: Hey babe! Yes? 

You

1:41pm: We made plans to go home for the fourth, would you like to go? 

Y/N

1:45pm: Actually, I am already going back! Told my parents a few weeks ago I would be home.

You

1:47pm: Well perfect! We’ll be going to the lake, you’re invited obviously. I’ll let you know what time.

Y/N

1:50pm: You sure that’s okay? 

You

1:51pm: Positive. Get some rest tonight, I’ll see you when we get there.

Y/N

1:52pm: Safe travels!

—

“Moooooom! We’re hoooome!” Josh called through the house as you followed behind, lugging bags and boxes of fireworks. 

“My babies!” she cried as she came bounding towards the door, taking you both in her embrace. 

“I’m so happy you’re all going to be here! How long are you staying?” She asked, taking the bags from your hands. 

“Just a few days, Ma. We’re actually busy touring rockstars, did you forget?” you said, finally able to pull your sunglasses to the top of your head and close the door behind you.

It always felt so good stepping through the front door of your home, no matter how many times you’d done it. The familiar sound of the echoes of your voices bouncing off the walls, the smell of the home itself, and the instant feeling of comfort enveloping you, no matter how long it had been. 

You and Josh had spent most of the evening stocking up for the lake the next day, visiting two or three stores to get plenty of beer and snacks for the long day on the water. 

“Should we get mortars or bottle rockets?” you ask, standing back and looking at all of the choices on the shelves. 

“Uh, fuckin’ both? Whoa, look at this!” Josh replied, picking up a giant box filled with a mixture of a bunch of different fireworks. He was like a kid in a candy store, filling up the basket with tons of boxes while you followed along through the aisles. 

“Think this is enough beer? What is Danny even drinking these days?” Josh asked as you continued perusing. 

“I don’t think he gives a shit as long as it gets him drunk.” You replied as you picked up two cases of seltzers, and some white claw for Y/N. 

Speaking of…

You pulled your phone from your pocket to text Y/N, but instead found a text from a contact that you hadn’t seen in ages. 

Elle? 

Her contact in your phone still had a heart next to it. You couldn’t ever bring yourself to take it off. As you blinked a few times to make sure you were reading right, your heart dropped. It’s been almost a year since she’s contacted you. Since the day of her last text, she hasn’t even so much as sent you an ‘I’m ok’ message. No updates on her social media, nothing. Silence. After you spent weeks messaging her and calling her, you finally got the picture and gave up. So to see her name now on your screen, came as a bit of a shock. Your finger slowly and nervously opened the message. 

Eleanor🤍

5:17pm: Hey Sam, it’s Elle. Not sure if you had my number still saved or not.

Strange. 

You looked up from your phone to find Josh still trying to pick out his alcohol for the weekend. You were blindsided. You didn’t know what to say. Should you text her back at all? You were kind of upset with her for not giving you a good reason for ending things that you spent years building with her. 

You knew she was going through an extremely rough time, but the two of you were serious, you thought at least. You wanted to be there for her, help her through the good and the bad, but she left without even a word. She abandoned a relationship that you thought was growing, right at the time that was going to make or break everything. 

You slid the message closed, and opened your texts with Y/N. 

You

5:21pm: We made it. Stocking up on stuff for tomorrow. Let me know when you get to your parents! 

You

5:22pm: PS…don’t know where we’re going to be able to sneak off to this weekend, but I’m sure we could find somewhere ;) 

Y/N

5:24pm: I’m not far, maybe an hour or so. And I’m sure we’ll be able to find somewhere. You’re telling me you don’t have any old spots you used to take your girlfriends? 

You smiled, thinking back in time. You did have a few spots, but they were kind of, less than comfortable. But Y/N didn’t seem to really care about that kind of thing. You stowed away a few ideas in the back of your head, and urged Josh to hurry it up. 

You

5:36pm: Hmm, I’ve got a few places in mind. See you soon!

The entire ride home, you wracked your brain searching for something to say back to Elle. Should you answer at all? Of course you should. You didn’t want to be rude. She wouldn’t be reaching out for no reason. 

You and Josh unloaded the car, sticking all the alcohol into the fridge for the next day, and packing up snacks in coolers. You knew Josh would want to be out the door first thing in the morning, and packing tonight would let you sleep a tiny bit longer in the morning.

Finally you got the gumption to just do it. You felt anxious for some reason, to even bring up her name on your phone. She held such a special place in your heart for so long, it made your stomach do flips when you thought about texting her back. Y/N would be here early in the morning, so just saying hey to Elle shouldn’t hurt, right?

You brought up her text from earlier, figuring you let it marinate long enough. You plopped down in a chair at the kitchen island, your thumbs flitting over the keyboard as you thought of what to say. 

You

6:48pm: Hey, Elle. Of course I still have your number. How are you?

There, that was easy. Light and simple. You huffed a cleansing breath. The seconds ticked by as you waited for her text bubble to pop up, your heart racing. 

A smile crossed your face at the sight of the tiny gray bubble.There it is. 

Eleanor🤍

6:50pm: I’m okay, just keeping myself busy. How have you been? 

The conversation went on candidly and platonically, just catching up with one another as you brought her up to date on your life, and she with her own. She told you that she was working two jobs, one at a daycare facility, and the other waiting tables at a restaurant in the evenings. She explained how she made great money at both places, and was happy spending most of her days with young children, teaching them and playing with them. 

You

7:18pm: Have you kept up with the band?

Eleanor🤍

7:20pm: Of course I have, you guys seem to really be making it big! Do you have any plans for anything new coming up?

You grinned, she has no idea. 

You

7:21pm: Actually, yeah, we do. It’s in the works now, it’s probably our best work yet, honestly. 

Eleanor🤍

7:23pm: Well, I’m very excited to hear it :)

Your conversation with Elle went on for hours, the two of you talking so easily, just like old times. You asked about her dad, and how everything had gone after he passed. You didn’t want to be too forward, but you also didn’t want to be rude and not ask. She let you know that he’d left her the house and a few other things, which wasn’t much, but he left her comfortable; she really didn’t need to work. 

Eleanor🤍

9:15pm: Any plans for the Fourth?

You

9:16pm: Yeah! We’re actually back home in Michigan right now, gonna head to the lake tomorrow to spend the day drinking way too much and getting sunburned. You?

Eleanor🤍

9:18pm: That sounds like a great time. I’ll be working, but our boss promised to close up before dark so we could all watch fireworks together. I’ll probably just hang out with some friends. 

The question crossed your mind, but slipped away as soon as it came. Should you ask? Is it too forward? You took a swig of the beer you’d allowed to get warm from sitting between your knees. Ah, fuck it. 

You

9:20pm: Sounds fun. No one special in your life to watch fireworks with?

Vague. Basic. 

Eleanor🤍

9:21pm: No, no one special right now.

Your stomach flipped. Why did that make you anxious? You felt a tiny bit of giddiness sneak up. 

Eleanor🤍

9:22pm: What about you? 

Shit. How do you answer this…

You

9:24pm: Nothing serious, no.

That will have to do. You didn’t lie…

You’d retreated to the couch, sprawling out and drifting in and out of sleep as Josh flipped through channels of old movies and spaghetti westerns. About that time you heard the front door open, and Jake’s familiar quiet tone ring out through the house. 

"You made it, huh?" Josh asked, standing up from the chair.

“By the grace of God…” he joked. He walked a little further inside the house, you knew it had been some time since he’d been here. He probably felt strange. 

“This place looks...”

"The exact same? I know, it's weird isn't it?” You said, finishing his sentence. 

"Yeah.” He said, dropping his bag. "Is Mom awake?"

“I think so, I think she's in the basement. Dad is finishing a gig." Josh answers.

You watched as he rounded the corner and descended the stairs, followed by your mom’s hearty half-yell at seeing Jake coming down to greet her. You glanced to Josh, and the two of you shared a wide smile and a chuckle, her voice music to your ears. 

With your brother finally home safe, you let your eyes drift closed, feeling peaceful in your true home, knowing Y/N would be here early in the morning to surprise the family. And that an old flame had decided to reach out once more and say hello.

——

You must’ve gone up to bed at some point during the night, not having much memory due to how tired you were from traveling. You also must’ve fallen asleep with your phone on your pillow, as it’s incessant buzzing woke you from your slumber. You cocked your head and peeped one eye open, seeing four texts from Y/N. You slid your finger across the notification and blinked rapidly to clear your vision. 

Y/N

8:27am: Wakey wakey! I’m heading over in 10.

Y/N

8:32am: Helloooo…Sam..I thought you set an alarm

Y/N

8:39am: Do you want a coffee? I’m stopping

Y/N

8:51am: Fine, no coffee for you. I’m almost there. 

You smiled at her discourse, feeling excited that you got to see her today. You hit the call button, waiting to hear her voice. 

“Good morning starshine! The earth says hello!” She burst out, her voice light and chipper. 

You laughed, the sound of her voice making your heart skip a beat. 

“Okay Willy Wonka, did you get me a coffee or not?” You asked, rolling over onto your back to stretch. 

“No, you didn’t text me back and tell me what you wanted. Sorry.” she said. 

“Geez, how rude. I haven’t seen you in days and I’m not even on your mind?” You relayed. 

“You’re always on my mind, babe. I’m in your driveway, jackass. Come get your coffee.” she quipped. 

You smiled as you hopped up from the bed, unplugged your phone and pulled on some sweatpants. You bounded down the steps to find your dad and Josh in the kitchen. You walked over to the front door, twisted the lock and stepped out onto the front porch. 

She was waltzing down the walkway, drawstring bag hanging from her shoulder, and two coffees in her hands. 

“See, I knew you were thinking of me!” You teased, earning a severe eye roll from her as she shoved it into your hand. 

“I hope you burn your tongue.” she says, cutting her eyes at you.

“Sheesh, already feisty this morning, I like it.” You said in your flirtiest tone as she entered the front door, your hand already attached to her backside before anyone could see. 

You joined your family in the kitchen as your dad made breakfast, talking and laughing and catching up on life. It was so great being at home again, and having her here, it was like you were teenagers again. 

Suddenly you heard the stairs creak, the last person to arise from his slumber. This isn’t gonna be good. You took a short breath as you prepared yourself for his wrath. 

Some light normal conversation. So far so good…But you could feel the tension building in the room as you made eye contact with Josh. His eyes widened, feeling it too. It wasn’t long before you felt the sleeve of your t-shirt being pulled, yanking you to your feet and pulling you to the next room. 

“What the fuck? What is she doing here?” Jake snapped.

“Well, I don't know if you know, but… her parents live ten minutes away. She was born here!” You answered in your most sarcastic tone. 

“Sam…” 

“Jeeze lighten up. She told her parents she would come back for the Fourth a few weeks ago. I invited her to come to the lake with us.” You answered. 

“You invited her to the lake?!” He said, trying not to yell at you. “Sam…”

“What? It will be fine…” you reassured him. 

“So you knew she was going to be here all along?” He asked.

“Mmm, more or less.” You answered. 

“And you just thought…you shouldn’t mention that to me?” he asked.

“Mmm, more or less.” You shrugged him off, no longer trying to entertain his aggravation. 

“You are on my fuckin’ list.” He said. What’s new?

You made your way back to the kitchen, quickly finishing your plate of food. 

“You ready to have some fun today?” You asked her. 

“Sure am! How ‘bout you?” She answered. 

“Hell yeah I am.” You suddenly felt the urge, being close to her again always lit a fire inside you that was extremely hard to extinguish. You leaned in close, bringing your mouth directly to her ear. 

“I’m ready to see your beautiful body soaking wet in a bikini all day. It’ll be hard to not rip it off of you right there on the beach…”

—

Everyone piled into the car one by one, ready to head to the lake. You’d asked Y/N to braid your hair like hers, so you could match. In all honesty, you just wanted her to touch you. It may be innocent, but you didn’t care. It was something. 

“You ready?” She asked, flitting her eyelashes at you. 

“Always ready for you, sweet thing.” The words slipped from your mouth before you could bite them back, knowing that they probably hit Jake in the gut. 

She took all your hair in her hands and began rubbing your scalp, brushing her nails in and lightly and dragging them in tiny circles. Shit. She knew what this did to you, teasing little thing. She pulled your hair backwards into a tight fist, and lightly jerked it back toward her. You hissed through your teeth at the slight pain. 

God damn. What is she trying to do? 

She began lightly massaging again as you felt your whole body envelop in excited tingles. 

“You’d better watch. Your. Fucking. Self.” you murmured quietly, just loud enough for her to hear.  

Your heart was racing; she knew exactly what to do to get you worked up, even if it was as simple as touching your hair. She finished up the braids, tying off the ends as you turned back to her. 

You took her chin in between your fingers, bringing her face close to yours. “God I wish we were alone in this backseat right now…” you said, and you brought her toward you for a sweet and sensual kiss. You couldn’t help yourself. Would it piss Jake off? Probably. But he’ll get over it. 

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You brought it out to find a message from Elle. You both had fallen asleep mid-conversation last night, so she was following up with an answer to your last question. 

‘Do you think we’ll ever get to see each other again?’ you’d asked her, with the tiniest bit of liquid courage and delirium from being half asleep. Your stomach dropped, seeing that she’d actually responded. 

Eleanor🤍

10:46am: I don’t know, but I really hope so :)

Your heart fell to the floor. Could this be going somewhere again? You had a lot to think about, but you truly missed Elle. There wasn’t a day that passed since the last time you’d seen her that you didn’t think about her. Her gorgeous smile, her wit, her independence…all of it felt like it was ripped away from you when she left. Right as you were falling the hardest for her. A book left unfinished. 

But, what Elle didn’t know, and what Y/N didn’t know, Jake, Daniel, Josh, or anyone but yourself…was that something had begun brewing in your psyche. Your conscience was being pulled again, reminiscent of a fierce and uncharted time in your past. Your entire mind, body, and soul were being beckoned a different direction, straight toward the girl sitting beside you in the backseat. 

But here was Elle. You hadn’t even been talking for a whole day, but you already found yourself being swept up by her charm again. So, you threw yours on, too. She wouldn’t be texting you this much for no good reason, right? What’s the harm… you and Y/N had an agreement, and you were sticking to it, though you found yourself falling for her again, you had to stick to the plan. So you lied. You could never tell her the truth. 

No feelings involved, only keeping each other physically happy for now. Best friends having fun. 

Way too much fun… 

You

10:51am: You really want to see me again?

Eleanor🤍

10:52am: Of course I do. I’ve got a lot of explaining to do…apologies to offer.

There went your stomach turning in on itself again. The giddiness of nerves from finally hearing what you’ve wanted to hear for almost a year. 

You

10:54am: Well. I’d really love to give you the chance to do just that. ;)

—-

The day went on, the heat becoming unbearable as the sun got higher in the sky. You all spent the majority of the day in the water, downing drinks and swimming until your bodies were prunes. The perfect summer day. 

Each time you’d go to grab a drink, you’d check your phone. And each time, you had a text from Elle, every one sweeter than the last. 

When it reached afternoon, Y/N had gone up to sit on the beach and read a book. You snuck peeks of her from underneath your dark sunglasses, sat comfortably on a blanket still dripping with the remnants of the water. Hair a mess, cheeks pink, completely unbothered. You felt yourself staring, biting the insides of your cheeks as you fought hard to conceal what the murky water was hiding in your shorts. After a while, you noticed your can was empty, so you went to take a second to join her. 

“Hey gorgeous. The view of you from the water is absolutely phenomenal. I really didn’t want to leave the water...” you flirted as you laid down beside her. 

“Hmm… what made it phenomenal?” She asked, lowering her sunglasses. 

“I dunno, these ties sit perfectly on your hips…” you said quietly as you tugged at them. “And this top accentuates your curves perfectly…it hardly covers anything at all. You’re barely leaving anything at all to my imagination, baby…” you trailed your fingertips all over her body, ending directly over her core. 

“I’d really love to pull this to the side…do you think they’d notice if we disappeared for a minute?” You felt yourself hardening again in your trunks, turning yourself on just by speaking to her, watching her get worked up from your words. 

“Mmm yes, they’d definitely notice.” She whispered, licking her teeth. 

“Ha…you’re right. It’s too bad…I bet this bathing suit isn’t the only thing that’s wet right now, hmm?” you asked, your lips ghosting her ear. God you wanted her, bad. Right now. But you had to push the thought away. There was still a whole day of fun to be had. 

She glanced to the woods, the car, then back to your brothers still bobbing in the lake. She sighed a heavy sigh, showing that she wanted to sneak off just as badly as you did. Chalk it up as a loss. You pulled a fresh seltzer from the cooler, offering one to her as well. You laughed to yourselves, both feeling the unending pull toward one another, and unable to act upon it. 

You retreated back to the vehicle to check your phone again and have a smoke, you needed to physically separate yourself from her before you went crazy. Plus, you noticed Y/N and Jake had begun to make eyes at one another while you were swimming. Maybe you should give them their space? 

—

As the day was coming to an end, you’d started to feel the alcohol take up shop in your body, a headache creeping its way in. Probably from too much sun, too. You’d had a blast with your brothers and Y/N, only getting a little bit careless with the fireworks. You’d talked to Elle sporadically throughout the busy day, sending cute and flirty texts every single chance you got. You were truly enjoying talking to her again. 

You’d decided to go back home early with Danny to set up a special movie night for everyone, and, honestly, to let Jake and Y/N have a little alone time. You knew they had some things to discuss, and you could tell it was eating at them both leaving things unsaid. Though it hurt you, you knew it had to happen. As much as you wanted her, she could never be yours. 

—

You’d just sat down on the couch when Y/N tumbled in the front door and across the room, immediately positioning herself close to you and draping her freezing cold legs across your lap.

“Fuckin kiss me, Y/N.” You demanded of her to be quick before your brothers made it inside. She grabbed your face, attaching her lips to yours in a quick and heated kiss as your hands dug into her sides. Her tongue buried itself in your mouth, and you let out the tiniest of moans at the contact. You needed to find that spot to sneak off to, and quickly. She detached herself, lust written all over her face. 

Just then, Jake and Josh came in, Jake making his way to the fridge for a beer. You leaned in close to whisper in Y/N’s ear. 

“I need to get you naked as soon as fuckin’ possible, you wanna go shower?” You asked her quietly. She giggled and nodded her head, the alcohol still lingering in her body. 

“I’m gonna go shower, and then we can start?” Jake asked as he popped his beer open. 

“Sounds good, I think we are gonna do the same.” You answered, earning a stern look from Jake. Oops. 

Y/N stood up from the couch. “I’m going to go get my stuff from the car. Be right back.”

Just then your phone buzzed. Another text from Elle. 

Eleanor🤍

11:27pm: Hope you had a great 4th! 

She’d attached a photo of herself posing with exploding fireworks behind her, her face gorgeous and sunkissed and her eyes shut from the bright flash. She had on a giant dark green hoodie that reached way down to her mid thighs. An old hoodie. Your hoodie. 

Your face flushed seeing that she had still kept your favorite high school jacket after all this time, and she looked absolutely gorgeous in it, still. She’d changed a bit, her hair was a little longer, and she seemed to be glowing. You stared at the photo until your screen went dark, taking in every little detail of her.  

“You ready, Sammy?” Y/N’s voice broke you from your gaze. 

“Yep, let’s go.” You responded as you followed her up the stairs, sending one last text before closing the bathroom door. 

You

11:29: Still look perfect in my clothes :)

—-

After some of the hottest quickie bathroom sex you’d ever had, you left Y/N to shower alone, and joined everyone back downstairs in the basement for the movie. 

“Not showering?” Jake asked. 

“Nah, I will later.” You replied as you typed away on your phone, continuing to text Elle. 

“What movie, Sammy? “ he asked as he sat down in his favorite spot on the other end of the couch. 

“The best 4th of July movie there is! The Sandlot!” You replied, not bringing your eyes away from the screen in your hand. You and Elle had started flirting just a bit harder. 

A few minutes later, Y/N came down the stairs, clad in a pair of your sweatpants and one of your old t-shirts. Oh, and Jake’s flannel? But hot damn, she looked sexy. Two women wearing your clothes tonight?!

You grinned to yourself at the thought as she came and sat beside you on the couch, cuddling into your side under a blanket. Her touch was still so electrifying to you, and you suppressed those pesky feelings as much as you could. Just sex. Just sex. 

After a while you stretched out, moving Y/N down the couch toward Jake a bit. You laced your fingers with hers, leaving a hand free to continue texting on the phone buzzing on your lap. 

Eleanor🤍

12:27am: I see you cut your hair!

You

12:29am: I did, do you like it?

Eleanor🤍

12:31am: I do, it’s very fitting :) What are you doing now?

You

12:34am: Sitting on the couch in the basement watching a movie with everyone. Our fourth of July tradition.

Eleanor🤍

12:36am: Oh, the couch, huh? I remember that couch…

Your face flushed in the dark. A memory flooded your mind, right when things had gotten hot and heavy with you and Elle, you’d made it back to Michigan to visit home for a couple of days. After too many drinks and a bowl a piece, you and Elle found yourselves wrapped up in a blanket, still half clothed and her straddling your lap as she rode you. 

“We’ve got to be really quiet, we can’t make any noise.” she said. 

“It’s 4:00am baby, no one is awake…”

You’d unzipped your zipper just enough, freeing yourself from the confines of your shorts to give her some leeway. She’d left her sundress on, and you’d pulled her panties to the side, the both of you covering each others’ mouths and stifling any noise either if you would make as she quietly brought both of you into a bliss you’d been chasing ever since. 

You shook your head quickly to chase the memory away as Jake and Y/N both spoke out loud, “You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” at the same time as the movie did. The two of them laughed together…you watched as she laid her head back on the couch to look at him as they giggled, and it made your heart ache. He looked at her with the same amount of love in his eyes as you did. 

After a while, you noticed Jake had fallen asleep, and Y/N wasn’t far behind. 

Maybe this is a good time to go outside and talk to Elle. 

“I’m gonna go smoke, you wanna?” You whispered to Y/N. 

“Nah, I’m okay, thanks.” You squeezed her hand as you got up from the couch, and dashed up the stairs. 

You

1:12am: You still awake? 

Eleanor🤍

1:13am: I am

You took a deep breath. 

You

1:15am: Would you care if I called you?

Eleanor🤍

1:16am: Wouldn’t care in the least :)

The late night air felt nice on your face as you stepped outside onto the porch, lighting up a joint and pacing the floor. You hadn’t heard her voice in so long…

“Fuck it. Just do it Sam.” You said to yourself. You clicked the phone symbol by her contact, heart racing as you let it ring out. 

“Hey there, stranger.” She answered after a couple rings, voice as sweet as honey, her southern drawl still sending your gut straight into neverland. 

You talked to Elle for almost an hour, catching up even more so on the conversations you’d already had. It felt new, but familiar all the same. The banter was just like it always was, and hearing her laugh again made your stomach fill with butterflies. You weren’t sure if the smile left your face the entire conversation. 

After a while, you noticed her yawns becoming more frequent, and so were yours. You agreed that you’d talk tomorrow, and with a sweet goodnight, you hung up the phone. 

You quietly tiptoed down the steps, trying hard to not wake anyone. The scene you found on the couch hurt your heart and filled it at the same time, Jake and Y/N cuddled together, her head resting gently on his shoulder with his arms holding her close as they slept. 

You couldn’t help the smile that crept its way to your face. You know exactly how good that position feels. You grabbed your camera from the table and you snapped a sweet picture of them laying together, wondering if they would ever find themselves there together again. 

—

The next morning you woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking, always your favorite part about home. You thought back to last night, and your conversation with Elle. You heart swelled at the thought of her. Talking to her, seeing her, touching her. 

Shit. You forgot you’d left Y/N on the couch last night. You wondered if she woke up pissed. You threw on some shorts and climbed down the stairs, greeting your family as you glanced around the room. No Y/N. You walked over to the front door and her car was gone. She had left without even saying goodbye. 

—

You’d made it back home to Nashville, feeling strange that Y/N had left without even a word. You decided maybe she needed some space, seeing as how she probably woke up cuddling Jake that morning, and found herself in a strange predicament. You told yourself you reach out, soon. You knew she liked to disappear sometimes. 

Things with Elle had only gotten better; you’d begun every day with a goodmorning text, and your conversations had only become more intense. You were truly enjoying talking with her, so you decided you’d call her at least once a day, just to hear her voice.

When tour started you found yourself wishing Elle was there. Sure you had Y/N, your best friend and lover around but it was different. You knew Y/N wasn’t yours to keep. As you and Elle began to talk more frequently you found yourself pulling away from Y/N a bit, but when photos were exchanged backstage in Nashville, you found yourself being drawn to her once again and spending the night wrapped up in each other like usual. It felt so different with her. So intimate. Was it because you were denying your real feelings for her? Did she feel it too?

You felt like your heart was being pulled in two different directions. Elle and Y/N, the two most important women in your life were now silently competing for your affection. However, it was not lost on you that Y/N was also gravitating towards Jake, whether she noticed it or not. The thing about all of it though, was that you knew Jake. You knew Jake better than he thought you did. You could see that it was killing him to watch you with Y/N, especially after what happened back home. 

You could sense a shift between the two of them. Something was there. Something was growing, and maybe, by removing yourself from the situation slowly, you would make room for that thing to reach its full potential. Even if it killed you.  

—

LATE AUGUST 2021

BRIDGEPORT, CT

Eleanor🤍

7:16pm: Just landed.

You

7:18am: We are finishing up at dinner. If you go to the front desk at the hotel, I left a key for you in your name.

Eleanor🤍

7:16pm: Thanks babe

Your heart was pounding as the minutes ticked closer and closer to finally seeing her again. You just had to make it through this dinner. Y/N was sufficiently drunk, finally letting loose after her altercation with Josh in the lobby this afternoon. You felt terrible, you were so caught up coordinating with Elle that you weren’t there to defend her. Luckily, Jake saved the day. 

You watched as Y/N flirted with Jake, and you found yourself smiling finally seeing his smile, after a few weeks of sadness. You thought you’d feel jealous, watching him grab her hand and whisper in her ear, but you didn’t. The only thing on your mind was the curly haired brunette waiting for you in your hotel room. 

You swallowed nervously as Danny made the first motion to leave. You quickly stood and joined him as the rest of the table arose from their seats. Y/N was a little wobbly on her feet, but again, Jake stepped in and helped her find her footing. 

Your heart was racing as you made the walk back to the hotel, chatting with Y/N as she stumbled along beside you. After a few minutes you noticed she was gone, looking over your shoulder to see her walking next to Jake as he smiled. It felt good to see the two of them where you knew they were always destined to be. 

As you stepped into the hotel you knew that in less than five minutes you would be face to face, reunited with the girl that broke your heart. The girl who was here now, all this time later, to ask for another chance, and you would be an absolute fool to not give it to her.

Offering to take Y/N to her room, you were immediately shut down by Jake. You could have called that from a mile away. You sent him a knowing look and stepped out on your floor. You ran your sweaty hands over your pants and ran your fingers through your hair. You took a deep breath and tried to center yourself, as you tapped the key card to the door. 

You pushed the door open, your hands shaking so badly you shoved them in your pockets to try and conceal them. As you stepped into the room, you saw her, sitting cross legged on the bed, flipping through the TV channels. 

“Elle…” you breathed.

“Hi Sammy...”

You felt like all the air had been ripped away from your lungs, the sight of her here again feeling like a dream. She was just the same as the last time you saw her, except she had more of a glow to her, her hair was longer and her body was healthy. The last time you saw her she was in the midst of true grief, working like a maniac to take care of her dad and keep a job at the same time. But here she was now, blossomed and flourishing, and she seemed to only have eyes for you. 

In true Elle fashion, she quickly leapt up from the bed, and floated through the air to stand right in front of you, eyes zipping back and forth as she searched your face; clearly she didn’t believe you were real, either. You stood frozen in place, unable to get over the fact that she was physically here, making your head spin and hands shake. Sammy, the nerves…it’s okay. 

“Well are you gonna hug me like you know me? Or ya just gonna stand there like a bump on a log?” She said through the prettiest smile you were sure you’d ever seen. You felt a rush of pure adoration swell in your stomach, the sound of her voice even more like sweet honey than on the phone. God, you’d forgotten. 

You bent at the knees, taking your hands from your pockets and wrapping them low around her waist, lifting her into the air in a tight embrace while you spun her around the hotel room. Her laugh, like coming home to your favorite place on earth. The way her body felt, the way her hair tickled the backs of your arms as you twirled her... all of it hitting your senses one by one, and making you weaker by the second. 

Finally you put her down, letting her rebalance as you found her face again. For some reason, you felt your emotions tugging at you. 

“Are you really here? Or is this a fever dream?” You asked her as the two of you slowly made your way over to sit on the edge of the bed. 

She laughed hard. “I’m really here, Sammy.” Her hand found your cheek, her thumb brushing under your eye as she tenderly walked you through your realization. 

“How are you?” She finally asked, bringing her legs to sit comfortably on the bed, and muting the TV. “How have you been? I know we talk everyday but…” her face blushed red. 

The conversation flowed just like it always had, just like as you texted, just like it did on the phone. Except this time you could see the expressions on her face when she moved her mouth that certain way, her lower lip pulling down slightly to the left when she was explaining something. The freckles across her nose, her squeak laugh when you’d gently pick on her. Still full of enthusiasm, still as smart and quick-witted as ever. And you were drowning in her eyes. 

Your favorite, though, was how good of a listener she was. She knew how to respond and empathize, and she didn’t even know she was doing it. You laid there and talked for hours, laughing and arguing and loving every single minute of it. Elle was like an enigmatic force, a warm presence that was unfaltering, picking up right where you left off. She felt like the first sip of cinnamon whiskey, shocking and surprising with a slow burn that you couldn’t help but get addicted to. 

“…I guess I’m just really sorry I left you without an explanation, Sam.”

“We don’t have to talk about this now, it’s okay…” you interrupted. 

“No, we do. I’ve wanted to apologize to you for almost a year, but I wanted to do it in person. You deserve to hear that straight from me.” She went on. You nodded, reluctantly. 

“I was in an extremely weird and bad place back then, with my dad and everything. I was a shell of a person and not myself. I don’t even remember half of that time, you know? It’s like a blacked out blur…I thought I needed to separate myself from you to not bring you down, and the band, but…” you took her hand, locking your fingers with hers. It had been months…you could tell, something as simple as that brought her a little bit of peace. You were both lying on your stomachs across the bed, shoulder to shoulder as you talked. 

“I know now that you were trying to hold me up above water, doing what you do best…keeping everyone happy, Sam. You always have. And I turned you away. The brightest light I’ve ever had in my life, I shut you off. And I’m sorry. I’ll never be able to take that back. You didn’t deserve that. I should’ve reached out again.” You could tell tears were prickling her eyes as she spoke. 

“S’okay, Elle…” you whispered, leaning your head on her shoulder. 

“No, it wasn’t okay. We were…getting pretty serious. I think.” 

Yeah, you were very serious.  

“And I just…stopped it all. For no good reason except my own selfishness. And I’m so, so sorry, Sammy. I really am. I regret leaving the only man I’ve ever felt like this for.”

Your stomach plummeted. Still? Felt like this?

You knew the expression on your face turned to pure happiness at her words. 

“You…you still…?” Was all you could manage through broken breaths. 

“Of course I still love you, you idiot. I never stopped.” She said, punching you in the shoulder. You melted. Wow…she still…

“Do you think I would’ve kept up conversation with you for weeks and come all the way out here if I didn’t?” She asked, her last word hanging on a high note. 

That’s true…

“Elle, you are…” You couldn’t stop yourself, she was pulling you in. You brought your lips dangerously close to hers, letting just the tips of your noses touch as you let your lips brush hers. The electricity buzzing between you, her eyelashes fluttering across your cheeks. The warmth was immediately there, filling the space between you with a heat that you’d forgotten about. 

“I am…what, Sammy?” She whispered, her breath hot on your lips. You could taste her already, so you moved your tongue to sit on your lower lip, savoring every single second that you could. 

You brought your forehead to hers, letting it balance there while you caught your breath. 

“Perfect.” You breathed, the word falling from your mouth as you let your lips connect with hers, so simply and so sweetly. Just like you always remembered. Just one tiny kiss to reintroduce yourselves; she’d only been back for half a day. But it felt right, and real, and she truly was perfect, she always was. 

When you separated, you left your forehead connected to hers, as you let that lustful and heavy excited feeling settle in the pit of your stomach, taking up shop and re-rooting itself where it belonged. 

It was then you knew that she was back for a reason, and you’d be damned if you let her slip away again. 

——

That night, you slept platonically in the king-sized bed, sharing room service and a few beers while you reminisced, her getting sleepy and cozy while you twisted your fingers through her hair. You didn’t want to move too fast, though you could tell the heat was rising in her face, too. The way she looked at you…you recognized it. Nearly three years of her being your everything…of course you were still able to pick up on all her cues. You held back in acting on them, though, as difficult as it was, you wanted to still be a gentleman. 

And getting to know her again? Like re-reading your favorite novel…remembering the details that stuck out to you while reciting the sentences you’d memorized. Re-learning and recalling her mannerisms, laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe, and sharing so many tender moments you felt like putty in her hands. God, you couldn’t believe she was back. 

——

The second night of Bridgeport, and you finally had someone in the audience that you could play to. You had to admit, you were a little nervous. Anxious for her to see you play again, but excited all the same. You had a few more nerves in your system tonight, so you shook them away with an extra seltzer. 

The show was going well, until suddenly your bass cut out. Fuck. You glanced to Jake quickly, signaling him to distract. He did, thankfully, as you rushed to the keys to play the bassline there. When your tech returned, all was fixed and well, but you were humiliated. For some reason whenever something like that happened, you couldn’t help but get upset. It was the producer in you, you assumed. And Elle saw. Your first show playing with her watching again, and that just had to happen. Of fucking course. 

You finished out the show, hastily making it back stage to change quickly and get back to your hotel room. It had put you in a sour mood. You all loaded up in the van, and you shot a quick text to Elle saying you’d meet her back at the room shortly. 

“You guys wanna grab a drink at the bar when we get back?” Daniel asked. 

“No, I think I’m going to bed.” You answered curtly. 

You felt Jake’s eyes shoot you a look of confusion. You shrugged. 

“I could do one, then I think I’m gonna hit the sack myself. It’s been a long fucking day.” He answered. 

“One. We leave early in the morning.” Josh said. 

Daniel sighed. “Alright. It’s settled.”

——

When you finally made it back to the room, you felt strange at the still-lingering feeling of embarrassment from the mess up during the show. You set your bag down on the couch, peering around the corner for the sweet girl waiting for you. 

“Sammy! Oh my god!” She yelped, pouncing into your arms as you caught her, her legs immediately wrapped around your waist. “You were so amazing! Better than ever, holy shit!” She was going on and on, her arms wrapped around your neck as you found a smile creeping up, almost completely dissolving your yucky feeling. 

You turned, still holding her, and sat on the bed so she was now on your lap. Hello there. “I can’t believe how good you all sound, and the crowd? It was so good, Sam.” She went on, truly still on her high after seeing a good show. 

“Thank you, thank you.” You laughed shyly. “You’re too kind…even if the very first show you saw, my bass fucked up.” You let your head fall to her shoulder. 

“What? Oh yeah, you saved the day when you ran to your keys. Excellent job of thinking on your toes, babe.” She said, brushing it off. 

Babe. 

Ah, fuck. 

“Do you want to take a shower with me?” You asked before you could even stop yourself, an exhilarated feeling enveloping you. 

She sat back on your lap, arms still linked at your neck. 

She smiled hard. “Yeah, yes. I do…let’s go.” 

Be a gentleman, Sam…

——

You laid down in bed that night with Elle a bit closer than the night before, still facing each other and talking closely after your shower. Bodies hot and naked, finally feeling comfortable enough to be that way in front of each other again. 

“I’m really glad you’re here, Elle. I’m so happy you came, really.” You said as she traced your features with her fingertip. 

“Me too, Sammy. The timing was finally right…” she said. 

“Yeah, finally…” suddenly your mind shot back to Y/N for a split second. You knew that things with her and Jake had been rocky lately, but you’d also been kind of giving her the cold shoulder. You felt awful for ignoring her, but, if she only knew why…

You drifted off with Elle in your arms, completely enjoying the feeling of her on you again, fully and totally. She turned over, letting you wrap your arms around her from behind. Your perfect girl, sweet and mellow, and all yours. 

——

You woke up in the middle of the night, unsure of what startled you awake except for that late-night overwhelming draw to the woman cuddled into your body, still unclothed and gorgeous. Fuck, Elle. Gentleman is about to fly out the window, girl. 

It started slowly, you taking your fingertips and brushing them lightly up and down her side as you kissed the back of her neck gently. You moved to her ear, lightly nibbling at the shell of it as you blew cool air. She began to stir a little bit, waking up at the feeling of your touch on her. 

You felt her press her ass back into you, letting you know that she was aware of your intentions. And lord, were you ever intending. You let your hand keep tickling her, moving to her front, her stomach, her thighs…you felt her shudder against you and chill bumps rise on her skin. 

Then she turned, bringing herself to face you in the pale light of the room, arm draped across your neck. Her hand found your hair, wrapping it up in her hand as she met your eyes, sleepy yet blown out with want for you, and you for her. Both of your chests were heaving as your hands began exploring, new territory that had lied so many years claimed by you, now ready to be retaken. 

You could take it anymore, you snapped your head forward, connecting your lips in a heated kiss that she returned, finally allowing yourselves to taste each other after all this time. She is so sweet. Still, so delicious…

Next you felt her drag her nails lightly down your chest, your stomach…both of you fighting for dominance as you kissed, hard and sloppy and messy, completely falling into each other now. Her hand was dangerously close to you, you could feel yourself pulsing and growing more excited, yearning for her to touch you. 

You took the opportunity to grab her ass, making her hum into your mouth as she pulled her leg higher over your hip, giving you access to move a little more closely to her heat. Damn, this is moving quickly... Keep it together, Sam. Remember what she likes…

You let your hand crawl from her ass to between her legs, holding back just a little bit, though her body language signified she wanted nothing more. 

“Mmm?” You hummed. 

“Mmhmm..” she responded. 

With pleasure, Eleanor.

You let your fingers slip between her, feeling her wetness for the first time again. She was squirming now, as you wasted no time in going straight for her sweet spots, the memories of them coming back full circle. Her hand wrapped in your hair harder as she kissed you, her leg traveling higher as she began to fall into her pleasure-ridden high. Her sounds were filling your ears, spurring you on to keep going, keep touching, keep feeling…

As if your heart wasn’t pounding enough already, you felt her hand snake between you, fully gripping you firmly in her grasp. You broke from her kiss for the first time. 

“God, Elle…” you laughed, tilting your head back as she began lightly pumping up and down on you, her mouth connecting to your neck as she did so. Your mind was already in a frenzy, and you hadn’t even fully felt her yet. 

You continued like this for a while, going slowly but moving so fast at the same time. Her kiss was full of steam and wild passion, meeting you for eye contact every few seconds. Shit, you’d forgotten she liked to do that. 

Focus focus focus. 

“Sam,” she finally breathed. “I…I want you. Please…”

Fucking finally. 

“Mmm, yeah? You do?” You answered, also falling into your persona of your natural love-making state. 

She nodded harshly. “Yes. Yeah, come on…” she rolled to her back and motioned with her hands for you to climb on top of her. So, you did. 

The two of you were already sweaty from just fooling around; it was evident that she wanted this just as much as you did. Heart still pounding in your ears, you pushed her legs apart with your knee as you hovered above her, looking directly into her eyes as you lined yourself up. You took yourself in your hand, dipping it low between her folds to pick up her wetness before you took the plunge, sending her back into an arch already. 

She was driving you insane already…just the feeling of her…

Her fingertips were already digging into your back, pulling you closer as she spread her legs a bit wider, letting your hips gain a bit more space. 

“Please, Sam…” she mumbled into your ear. Finally, you lost all control as you slowly entered her, letting yourself go as slowly as possible. Her breath hitched, and yours did too as you filled her, centimeter by centimeter until you couldn’t go any further. It was like your whole body had suddenly caught fire, no more breath in your lungs, no more thoughts in your head. Just her…and you inside her.

“God dammit baby, you feel so fucking…” she could hardly finish her words, but you felt the same. You withdrew a little, pulling out slowly just like you had before. You continued this for a few strokes, letting yourselves get reacquainted with feeling each other again. You picked up the pace a little, setting yourself up to hopefully last long enough to make it count. But god, she felt like heaven on earth…

She brought her legs up higher, her knees beside your shoulders as you went deeper, her head falling backwards into the pillow as you fucked her faster now…her hand reached back, grabbing onto the edge of the mattress to hold herself in place. Her other hand raked up and down your back, grabbed your pecs and pulled your hair back tightly. 

“…feel so good baby…just like I remembered…so sweet and good for me…” you murmured out, your voice barely able to be recognized. You could feel her tensing around you as she lifted up on her elbows, bringing her face closer to yours. She started rolling her hips up as you did, meeting your thrusts exactly on time. Fuck, keep doing that. 

“…so pretty Sammy, you’re doing so good, I’m so…” her mouth fell slack as her head fell back, revealing her throat to you. Your mouth connected to it, your tongue wanting to devour her right here on the bed. In a quick decision moment, you sat up on your knees, pulling her hips closer to you as you hooked her legs around you. You brought your hands behind her back, bringing her up to sit on your lap, straddling you as she sat. You never once disconnected, still buried deep inside her. 

Here, you were face to face, mouth to mouth, and at an impossibly intense angle so that she could roll her hips just how she liked. The intimacy was mind blowing, her hands entangled in your hair, the view of her flawless body…all of it. You were completely blissed out. She’s so perfect…

Together, the two of you reached your peaks, grabbing and holding on to each other as you spun out of control, you jutted your hips up into her as far as you could, kissing her deeply as she screamed into your mouth. “Fuckkkk baby…” 

As you both began to come down, you laughed at yourselves and what you’d just done, feeling comfortable again in her atmosphere, and also feeling as connected with her as ever. 

“I waited almost a whole year to do that again, Elle. You don’t understand how badly…” she cut you off with a kiss, lying you down next to her back on the bed, bringing the covers up to surround yourselves again. 

“Shhh, I know. Me too, babe. I’m so sorry I didn’t come back sooner.” She reassured you. 

“Elle, I’m sorry, I didn’t ask you if you wanted me to wear a…ya know.” You blurted out. 

She laughed. “It’s okay, I’m safe. And I’m also on birth control, so. No worries.”

No, no worries at all. Not a single worry you could think of. 

“Okay, me too.” You said. “Well, I’m safe, not on birth control. I don’t think.” You teased.

She burst out in her deep belly laugh, rolling back over to kiss your cheek. “You’re an idiot, Sam.”

You smiled hard. “I know.” You rolled to your side to face her, too, taking her face in your hands. 

“Elle?”

“Yes…?”

You locked into her eyes, smiling softly as you planted a soft kiss directly to her still swollen and pink lips. You pulled back slowly, confidence surging through your body. 

“I never stopped loving you, either.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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[anylady-fics]

Friends | Bang Chan x F Reader

Summary:

[...]

People always say never to slide through someone else's photos, but I was just trying to find the best one among the many we took. Then I saw something I shouldn't have. It wasn't intentional—I wasn’t looking for anything—but there it was.

[...]

Or... she found her best friend's nude pic and freaked out about it.

*** this work is for adult audiences. Minors DNI ***

Warnings: couch sex, creampie, oral sex, vaginal sex, rough sex, fingering

6,792K words - cross posted on ao3

Ⴡ Masterlist

Christopher and I have been friends since high school, and we're always together in college too, even though we study different things. We've had so many experiences together, a lot of hangovers, and a ton of stories to tell. But despite what people might think, nothing romantic ever happened between us.

I get why people might think otherwise, since we're always together, hugging or just having some kind of physical contact. Chris is the kind of friend who really takes care of his close friends. He carried me on his back when I was sick and needed to go to the hospital, when my shoes destroyed my feet, or anytime I needed help, no matter the reason. That's just who he is. Explaining this to my ex-boyfriends was always tricky, and Chris had to deal with some jealousy issues in his relationships too.

We're so alike in everything, even in our mischief, and we know secrets about each other that will probably go to the grave with us. We're that close, just best friends, partners in crime.

Our Friday routine after class was to hit the same bar, sit at the same table, and play games with others until they kicked us out because they couldn't stand losing anymore. Sometimes we had a few drinks, but since we started working out together, it was pretty rare. Chris turned me into a gym rat, acting like my personal trainer, which sucked but was pretty effective, I must admit.

Sometimes our weekend parties led to dates, but separately. He'd hook up with a girl, and I'd find a guy, and we'd talk about it the next morning. Occasionally, only one of us would get lucky, and the other would go home alone, but that was rare.

Life was good, no problems between us for years, until one damn day at the bar. We decided to take a picture together since it had been a while since we posted anything, and all our friends were there, which was uncommon. We used his phone, and I was editing the photo like I had done a thousand times.

People always say never to slide through someone else's photos, but I was just trying to find the best one among the many we took. Then I saw something I shouldn't have. It wasn't intentional—I wasn’t looking for anything—but there it was.

First, an explicit nude showed up, taken from below. I'd recognize that hand and those painted nails anywhere. And despite his abs... oh my god! I panicked and slid again, finding even more explicit dick pics. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. There were even pics of him in just his black boxers.

I tried to slide back to the original photos, but I was shaking, and my face must have shown how freaked out I was. He was coming closer, so I quickly blocked the screen. I was sure he saw his own photo on the screen before I turned the phone face down on the table, pretending nothing happened with my best poker face.

“What happened?” He grabbed the phone, sitting right next to me.

“Nothing! Send me the pics later, okay? I’ll edit them.”

“Hm…” He unlocked the phone, and the pic was still there. Being shameless as he was, he really didn't care. “I think you saw them… well, that’s what happens when you slide through someone else's photos!”

He just played dumb and laughed really loud while my cheeks burned. I was haunted by how shameless he was. I always thought I was as bold as him, but I would've totally freaked out if the same thing happened to me—if he had seen me naked through some photos that weren't meant for him.

“Why the hell do you keep that on your phone? What if someone steals it?” I tried to sound normal, but my voice was shaky. Something clicked in my head the moment I saw those pictures.

I wasn’t blind. Christopher had always been really hot, but I just didn’t look at him like that. Even knowing he had a pretty active sex life, I never asked about it and didn’t want to know any details. Well, now I have seen plenty of details in those photos…

Fuck, I was so nervous.

“Aren’t you overreacting? You can’t even tell it’s my d—”

“I could tell.”

“How?”

“I think we should forget about it. Will you give me a ride home? I have to go, there's that thing tomorrow.”

“Wow, you're really like this just because of the photos? Good thing you didn’t see the video, then…” He laughed again, and I was just paralyzed, feeling really slow to process everything since I saw those photos on my best friend's phone.

“What do you mean? Oh, forget it, I don’t want to know. Please, can we go?”

“You know what kind of video…”

“Just shut up, Chris.”

We stood up and said goodbye to all our friends. For a few moments, I could forget what happened, but that didn’t last. Chris’s place was on the way to mine, so I used to get a ride with him every day coming back from college. On our way, I was totally quiet, just hoping I could wake up the next day and not care at all about what I saw. If I didn't, it could be a big problem. I was already really disturbed thinking about the video he mentioned—it could be him jerking off. Just thinking about it made my body feel really weird, which felt wrong.

“We’re here. Are you sleeping?”

I didn’t notice we were in front of my house for a few seconds. I was looking outside, avoiding him the whole way and not even commenting on the awful music he played to annoy me.

“Oh, my bad. Yeah, I’m so sleepy…” I tried to fake a laugh but failed.

Chris was looking at me, already suspecting something, but he didn’t say anything, thank God for that. I said goodbye, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek like always, and jumped out of the car as fast as I could. Once I was in my room, alone with my thoughts, I finally stopped pretending everything was okay and started really thinking about what happened.

I saw photos of my best friend’s dick—a lot of them. It was… nice? So thick, with all those veins… Fuck. I could congratulate him for it. That’s why he was so cool about someone seeing his genitals unintentionally. He knew exactly what he could cause with that kind of picture and wasn’t worried if somebody saw it. His high self-esteem was kinda explained in a few seconds. But, problem: I liked what I saw. Oh, I liked it a lot… I liked it so much that I wished I could taste it. But how could I do that? God, it was Chris! I shouldn’t even be thinking of him this way, but I got home with soaked panties from seeing the photos and just imagining there was a video, too. It might not even exist; he could have said it just to mess with my head.

Oh, what a regret for even touching that phone.

When I lay down to sleep, I just hoped the impure thoughts about my best friend would leave me alone. But I can’t even describe how disappointed I was when I woke up, and the first thing I thought of was his dick pic, one in particular that gave me so many details…

Urgh, I was hating myself. How could I be like this? I’ve received so many dick pics before, even bigger ones, but none affected me like that.

As a result, I spent the whole day keeping myself busy and barely talking to him. In fact, we didn’t text at all. We usually talked all day, even if it was just sending memes to each other, but the last message was from him saying he got home, and I didn’t even reply.

I felt really bad and thought about sending him something just to pretend everything was okay, so he wouldn’t know something was wrong, but his message popped up on my phone first.

Chris Bang: Sup! We have that party today, wanna go?

Me: Idk, kinda tired…

Chris Bang: k, let me know in 1h. If u want, we can just watch a movie or something.

Usually, I would just say yes to the movie, and we’d be great. But just thinking about being in the same place with him, in the dark… oh. I really needed professional help. I felt even worse because I was pushing him away because of my craziness, so I decided to do anything that could help clear my head.

I exercised a lot. It was okay. After being totally exhausted, I felt better. I took a deep breath and replied to him, saying yes to the movie night. He texted that we could meet at his place and asked me to bring something to eat that wouldn’t mess up our diet.

I took a long shower, and when I opened my closet to pick my clothes, I saw two of his shirts there. I used them to sleep sometimes. My mind went to the wrong place pretty fast, but I managed to get it back on track equally fast. Thank God, I was coming back to my normal self.

I picked an oversized look with huge pants, a shirt, and my favorite sneakers. I just checked my hair before I left.

The way to his house was short and familiar; it barely took 5 minutes to get there. I brought just popcorn and sparkling water, feeling sad for us.

As soon as Chris opened the door, I looked at his face and felt all weird, avoiding eye contact and remembering those fucking pictures all over again. I took a deep breath after he hugged me to say hello, and for my bad luck, it felt totally different than it did two days before.

“Wow, you’re really taking it seriously…” he pointed to our snack. “You have more results than me already!”

“Oh, please! You have abs! I’m still flabby…”

“No, no… don’t say that. I’m there with you and didn’t see anything flabby.”

He used his natural flirting tone, but it hit me so differently that it was hurtful. I was used to it; he always did that. So why the hell was my face burning just from thinking that he was looking at me, at my body? Yeah, watching a movie was going to be hard.

I was really embarrassed about myself, my thoughts, and my behavior. It wasn’t right that Chris just messed with my head like that out of the blue; it could really mess up our friendship.

The problem was… I was too easy to read, like an open book. He knew pretty fast when something was wrong, and he always waited for me to say it before he had to ask. I was already getting nervous because I sucked at lying to him, and I knew that as soon as the movie ended, he would be asking questions.

During the movie, we were really close on the couch, which was pretty normal for us. We always did that, but I was freaking out inside, wondering how weird it would be if I just… decided to sit a little farther from him. Yeah, that would be a bad idea. I just took a deep breath and tried to forget about the photos and all the crap I was thinking, focusing on the movie and staying quiet.

As the movie played, I kept my eyes glued to the screen, trying to ignore the way his arm brushed against mine or how his laugh made my heart skip a beat. I needed to get a grip, fast. 

It was a horror movie, and I really wanted to watch it, but... well. Chris was really into it. He had this habit of putting a cushion on his lap during movies, and this time he had chosen a fluffy one. The way his hands slid over it, repeatedly... it really got into my head. Oh my god. For fuck’s sake, he didn't stop caressing it, and I always had a thing for hands, and his were particularly sexy... especially with his black-painted nails and rings.

Oh my god, it was so embarrassing. I felt like a desperate whore, but just for him.

“You’re snorting…” He came even closer to me. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m not snorting!”

“Yes, you are. You’ve taken so many deep breaths that you’re scaring me more than this movie. Wanna stop watching?”

I was curled up on the couch, holding my knees and hiding most of my face.

“It’s nothing, let’s keep watching!”

“You know you can’t lie to me, right? Let's finish the movie, but then you’ll tell me what happened.”

Oh, sure! How could I say it? 'Hi, Chris! So… I saw those dick pics of yours, and now I’m interested'? 

My head was spinning, and nothing useful was coming to mind. I thought about so many ways to make him forget about this, but it wasn’t going to work. Buuut… a small part of me, I mean, really small… tiny, wanted him to know what I was thinking. Maybe if I just spit it out, we’d laugh ourselves to death and then it would all be over. He’d probably mock me about it, telling me how sensitive I am for being all weird over a nude.

Maybe… just maybe, that was the solution, and I was really inclined to do it. Just tell him I was feeling weird about seeing those photos.

The movie ended, and I started to panic when he turned off the TV and faced me.

“Now tell me, what is it?”

“It’s nothing, Chan. Relax, it will pass soon.”

“You’re making me worry. Did something happen at home? With your family?” He touched my arm, and I felt so guilty seeing his worried expression. He could be really sweet sometimes.

“It 's not that. Actually, it’s something stupid, just let it go.”

“Did some guy act like a jerk to you? That one from the bar? I knew it… do you want me to help with that?”

“Oh, God… Chris, just let this go. Please? It 's not that.”

“You know you’re not going home without telling me what happened, right? Besides, the fact that you still haven’t told me is making me really concerned.”

“It 's nothing. And it’s too dark here…”

“Hmmm, are you scared after that movie?” He pointed the remote at his lights and set them to keep changing colors. “Now talk.”

“Actually… no, I can’t tell you that. You’re gonna mock me.”

“It depends, maybe I will. For fuck’s sake, woman, just say it.”

“Okay, ahm… oh god. Okay. I got a bit weird because… ahn, I can't, Chris. I’m going home now.”

I stretched my legs, put my feet on the ground, and almost got up from the couch, but he held me and made me sit down again. This time, he was even closer, and I could smell his wonderful scent, making my situation much worse.

“Really, what happened?”

“The photos that I saw yesterday…” I didn’t even finish the sentence, but it wasn’t necessary.

He tilted his head like a dog trying to understand its owner and then burst out laughing, but he didn’t let me go, just held me firmly, probably already knowing I’d run off at the first chance.

“You’re like this just because you saw the photos? I can’t believe it!”

“Oh, wow! How funny.” I was serious, and tried to hide my face again, but he pulled me closer and stared at me, waiting for me to say more. It wasn’t fair that I was so affected while he just kept laughing. “It wasn’t just the pictures, but what they did to me after.”

“Hm, tell me more.”

“I couldn't stop thinking about it since yesterday, I thought it was obvious.”

“So… you've been thinking about my dick since yesterday?”

I started to laugh, but it was a nervous laugh, totally shocked by how shameless he could be. I knew he’d mock me like that, but I didn’t expect to be even more turned on by it. Hearing him say that... fuck.

“Yeah, exactly. And you mentioned a video. What video, Chris? Why the hell did you have to leave that on your phone? Everything was fine before that.”

“Let me see if I got this right…” His voice lowered, and I shrunk even more on the couch, holding my knees again. “You’re all weird because you’re… horny?”

“Basically, yeah. But I can’t. I can’t see you like that.”

“For fuck’s sake, do you know how many times I’ve felt attracted to you like that? Imagine if I got all weird about it.”

“Excuse me? What do you mean?”

I was in complete disbelief. He was naturally a flirt, always hitting on me and every girl around him, but I never thought it was serious. Never.

“Yeah, it’s normal for me. Of course, it’d be harder if I’d seen you naked - and I’m not saying I don’t want that - but, I don’t know… you don’t have to feel like this.”

“Oh my god, you’re really a naughty one, aren’t you? Why did you never say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want you getting all weird about it. I know I’m fine with it.”

“Well, it’s different. You’re used to it.”

We sat in awkward silence for a few moments, and then I noticed how his expression had changed. The way he was looking at me, biting his lower lip and trying to read me… and that damn smile.

“So… you wanna see it? The video, I mean.” He took his phone and unlocked it in front of me. I was speechless, just staring at that damn phone in his pretty hands.

I blinked a few times, thinking about it. It wasn’t unpredictable… I kinda knew he’d want to show me the video if he thought I wanted to see it. And I had made it really clear how much I was thinking about it. Of course he’d offer.

“I’m just kidding! Unless you really want to…”

Oh god, the way he smiled and bit his tongue was killing me. I wanted to throw a shoe at his face, but at the same time, I was tempted to take the phone and watch the damn video. I had the brilliant idea of being as shameless as him, just pushing to see how far he’d take it.

“You’re really okay with it? No shame? Then show me.”

“I have no reason to be ashamed. You did see the photos… and liked them.” He opened his gallery, and the pictures were still there. He made his point by sliding through each one and commenting on which he liked most. Coincidentally, it was my favorite too.

“Here, it’s the next one. Make yourself comfortable.”

He handed me the phone, and I realized I was shaking when I took it. I thought I could keep a cool expression and pretend that everything was normal, like seeing my best friend touching himself was no big deal, but well… I failed. I knew I was screwed the moment the video started to play, and it had audio.

Hearing Chris moaning while pleasuring himself was so hot it made me clench, and my brain just shut down. I hadn’t even considered this until yesterday; it was so unfair. I kept watching the video, enjoying it more than I wanted to, and apparently, it was made when he was close to cumming because it was short… just a few seconds. I watched him cum on his abs before the video stopped. My body was really tense when I handed back his phone, struggling to think of anything to say that wouldn’t embarrass me even more.

“That was it. No big deal.”

“Do you have premature ejaculation? This video is 15 seconds long.”

Maybe provoking him like that wasn’t a clever thing to do because I was really affected by the video. But I tried, even with a dry mouth, weak legs, and being totally soaked through my panties.

“I’m not! I recorded it when I was close.”

“Sounds like something a premature guy would say…” I liked seeing his tone get serious, his ego clearly hurt by my question.

“If you keep saying that, I’ll understand that you want me to prove you wrong…”

That escalated quickly. From the moment he decided to show me that video, I knew there was no way back. Our little fun could continue, but it was leading us somewhere kinda dangerous yet inevitable since I spoke the truth. For a moment, I really thought he’d just make some jokes and forget about it, but the tension between us would get unbearable. That would happen anyway, so…

“You can try.”

“You’re testing me? Because you know I’m fine with that.”

“No, I was just thinking… I got all shaken up for nothing. It’s not that much, right? I mean, you did take the pic from below to make it look bigger…”

I tried to keep provoking him since it was really affecting his huge ego, but I didn’t imagine it would go that far. His reaction...

Chris took one of my hands and made me touch his hard cock through his shorts to feel him, all of him. My reaction wasn't planned—I just squeezed and grabbed really hard the moment I felt him, hard as a rock below my fingers. Then I pulled my hand back, feeling a bit weird about it.

“Christopher!”

“You teased me, now you gotta handle it.”

God, I just realized how hot I was feeling. My whole body was responding to him. I felt the heat, my neck and cheeks were burning.

“We shouldn’t…” I was just looking for an extra dose of convincing because I already knew we were going to do it.

“You think so?” He stood up, the thin fabric of his gym shorts hiding nothing, and the way he grabbed his own dick, feeling himself, made me shiver. “I’ll stop when you ask me to.”

First, he stripped off his shirt and threw it on the couch right beside me. I think my jaw just dropped when he lowered his shorts, revealing his waistband. In just a second, he was wearing nothing but his boxers, touching himself, squeezing his clothed dick right in front of me, staring at my face and testing me.

I didn’t notice how hard I was pressing my thighs together, feeling my pussy throb because of the tension and the touches I was denying myself, making a huge effort to stay still while watching him.

“Wanna tell me what you thought about those photos?” He hooked one of his fingers into the waistband of his underwear, lowering it just enough for me to see the trimmed hair on his pelvis.

“Are you really gonna touch yourself in front of me?” I shifted a little on the couch and felt the wetness between my legs, so intense that I could leave a stain where I was sitting. I couldn't believe the situation and how turned on I was because of it.

“I told you that I’ll stop if you ask…” He lowered his underwear a bit more, revealing a part of his length. I wet my lips, feeling my mouth water at the thought of sucking him, imagining his taste, his veins, everything…

When Chris finally stripped off his last piece of clothing, I was speechless. It was even better than the pictures or the video, as I expected. Watching the way his hands worked on his dick, grabbing and stroking slowly while he watched me… it was too much. I was losing my mind.

“So… wanna tell me? What you were thinking, huh?”

“About this… you touching yourself for me to watch.” I couldn't look at his face, even if I wanted to.

“Hm… what else?” He sped up a bit, stroking and pressing his head slightly, making me feel an insane urge to taste him, watching the precum already leaking from his cock. 

“I thought about how it would be to suck your dick… trying to fit everything in my mouth.”

“Oh, I think you can do it. You were just telling me that it’s that big, right? Feel free to try, I’d love to watch you.”

This time I looked up and saw him smiling at me, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. Chris took advantage of my eye contact to bite his lip and stroke his dick a little harder. I lost all control when he looked down and moaned, making my pussy clench around nothing, wishing he was inside me already.

“You can stop, I don’t want you to cum… not like that.” I sat on the edge of the couch and touched his thighs, feeling his muscles under my fingers, noticing every detail that I’d never seen this close.

“And you called me naughty… look at you, wanting my dick and not knowing how to ask for it.”

“Oh, I don’t need to ask… you’re slutty enough to give it to me without asking.”

“Is that a problem?” He kept touching himself, and I watched closely, already shaking with anticipation of touching him, tasting him.

“Of course not.”

I wrapped my hand around his hardness, moving his own out of the way. Gripping his dick at the base, I stroked slowly, running my fingers along his entire length, relishing the feel of his skin and the torment it brought me. When I noticed more precum leaking, I couldn't resist. I took him into my mouth and sucked eagerly, not wanting to miss a drop, sucking hard and stretching my cheeks with him.

"So hungry for my cock, baby…" He ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it behind my ear before holding my head to pull me back a little. I watched the saliva connecting his cock to my lips and smiled, looking up at his face, making it clear that I wanted much more. His taste was already on my tongue, and I became addicted the moment I tasted it.

He held his cock, rubbing it against my lips, and I stuck my tongue out, wanting to make him even wetter for me to suck as soon as he slid back inside.

"You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about you sucking me like that." This time, he pressed more firmly against my tongue, and I closed my lips around his head, savoring his taste once more.

"You're something else…" I managed to say before he pulled my hair, tilting my head to the side while still rubbing his dick against my lips and cheeks.

"So are you…" I felt the weight of his hardness against my face, tapping against my skin occasionally, teasing me as he stroked his cock. The urge to strip off all my clothes overwhelmed me, my legs trembling with anticipation. "That's why we fit so well."

I bet it must have been a real treat for him to watch me smiling at him like I did while he teased me, rubbing his cock against my face. I was really pleased with the outcome because he finally let me suck him again, pushing himself into my mouth and using both hands to guide my movements.

I grabbed onto his thighs, digging my nails into his skin every time he held my head to make me take him all in. I have to admit, I was loving every moment of it. I kept sucking without stopping, making it wet and sloppy, varying the pressure with my lips and mouth, paying attention to his reactions and doing everything to make him moan louder for me.

After a few minutes, my jaw was starting to ache, and as much as I wanted him to come, I was already soaking wet with arousal. I couldn't keep going like that, so I pulled away and used my hands to jerk him off while I caught my breath, my face all wet.

"You still think that I'm premature?" He laughed, passing his thumb over my swollen lips. "Lie down and strip. Let me take care of you now."

"I never really thought that, you know? I just wanted to see you nervous. It worked perfectly..." I leaned back on the sofa and unbuttoned my pants. Chris quickly took care of removing them, pulling them down my legs.

"Look what you've done..." My panties were completely soaked, as if I'd jumped into a pool with them on. They were light blue, so the dark stain was visible even in the dim light of his lamp.

"Did you get this wet by sucking on my dick?" He ran his fingers over my mound and down, feeling the wetness, fascinated by what he found. "Or did you come here already wet, thinking about me?"

"A bit of both..." I spread my legs wider to give him better access, watching as he moved closer to the damp fabric. "But sucking you off did most of the damage. I was really needy for it..."

He pressed his nose against my clit through the fabric, and I felt his tongue slide over everything, making me shiver despite the barrier of my panties.

"You should've told me you were this wet. I could've had my face drenched in that pussy sooner."

"I was too busy watching your show." I pulled off my shirt, left in just the sports bra I'd chosen without planning to get naked in front of anyone.

I thought he’d finally take my panties off and give me some relief, but Chris just stood there watching me undress. Then he came over to the couch, letting his body weight press down on mine, leaning in to kiss me.

Honestly, I never thought something like this would happen. Somehow, kissing him felt even more intimate than sucking his cock. It wasn’t a complaint, far from it. I’d been waiting for the moment to do it, his mouth was really something.

The kiss was amazing, igniting my whole body with a burning desire for him. The way his tongue moved against mine, circling and sucking... I could only imagine how it would feel if he was licking my pussy. My hands were on his back, feeling his muscles, scratching him each time he pushed his hips against mine, making me feel his hardness rubbing against my clit, leaving me breathless.

He laid beside me, and we kept kissing while one of his hands explored me. First, he pushed up my top to grab my tits, my sensitive nipples hardening at his touch. He had big hands, filling them with my chest, squeezing while his thumb circled my nipples. Every touch felt like it was reaching my core.

His hands slid down, caressing my belly and finally slipping into my panties. He teased me at first, rubbing my clit through the fabric and sinking his fingers into my labia, whispering in my mouth how wet I was for him. I spread my legs, and he pushed the panties aside, his fingers now touching my folds, playing with my pussy and then rubbing my clit.

“Gonna tease me forever? Put those fingers inside.”

“So impatient…”

Chris pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes, biting his lower lip as his fingers slipped inside. I closed my eyes and moaned, feeling myself tighten around him and hearing the wet sounds as he started moving. He was really good with his hands, just as I hoped he would be. He was so precise… His thumb massaged my clit the way I needed - I could cum really easily -, while he worked three fingers inside me, moving them nonstop. I was almost coming for him, and I started to grind against his hand. He was just watching me, moaning along with me as my orgasm hit, whispering in my ear how hot and tight I was for him.

I felt his fingers slide out of my wetness, and he brought them to his mouth, tasting me before kissing me again. I could taste myself on his lips as I removed my panties, sucking on his tongue.

Chris knelt down, moving my body like I weighed nothing, positioning me on my back with my legs spread. He supported himself on his elbows and began licking my pussy, his whole face pressed against me. His chin, tongue, lips, nose… every part of him rubbing against my arousal, licking and drinking me like I was the last drink in the world.

I couldn't hold back when he stuck his tongue inside me. I grabbed his hair and ground my hips against his face, searching for the perfect angle to cum again, even though I was still sensitive from my last orgasm.

He moaned with me, the vibrations of his voice against my skin intensifying my pleasure. When I came again, I tried to close my legs, trapping him between them because he refused to stop licking me, even as I squirmed on the couch, whining for him to stop.

I was panting heavily, still thinking I might regret what we were doing. That crazy thought vanished when he sat on the couch next to me, started touching himself again, and looked at me.

"Already tired, baby? I thought you could handle more."

I kneeled on the couch and took off my top, tossing it at him. My legs were still trembling a bit - a lot - , but I crawled over and straddled him, placing a leg on each side of his body, settling on his thighs, and holding onto his shoulders.

“It’s much better when your mouth is busy…” I ground against his cock as he kept stroking himself. I grabbed his dick and positioned it at my entrance, rolling my hips to tease him a bit before sliding him inside me. I moved slowly, feeling how he filled me up with his hardness, burying himself deep inside me while he grabbed my buttcheeks and spread them, making me take him all in.

I felt the way he stretched me, rolling my hips a few times to get used to his size, and I pulled his head to my breasts, wanting him to touch me everywhere he could. He sucked and bit my nipples, squeezing my ass as I kept rolling my hips. He pushed and helped me move faster, so I started to really ride him.

At first, I was moving slowly, just coming up and down to enjoy the feeling of being so full with his cock, feeling how wet I was as he slid in easily. His hands were abusing my tits, squeezing hard as he used his tongue on my nipples.

I kept going until I was almost passing out from exhaustion. It was really late, and we weren’t holding back our sounds, so maybe the neighbors could hear us. My whole body was sweating, and so was he, but his smell was so good... Even being that tired, I was turned on by it. I kept putting my face in the curve of his neck so I could taste him as well.

His hands were all over me, grabbing and squeezing everything he touched. I brushed his hair out of his face so I could kiss him again, while rolling my hips against him, trying to breathe so I could start the fast rhythm again.

“Let me be on top now.”

Chris helped me get up and waited until I was laid on the couch. I gotta say, that was a huge relief for me - I needed some ‘rest’.

He knelt between my legs and adjusted himself so he could rub his cock on my clit, teasing me and smiling at me in a way that drove me insane. I was soaked and sensitive, so I just used my hand to put him inside me again. I couldn't stand to wait any longer. Yeah, he really got me impatient.

He was thrusting slowly, I folded my legs and spread them wide so I could touch my clit, and he watched closely the way my fingers were working on my own pleasure while he fucked me. It was pretty fast for me to start to feel my core getting hotter and hotter as my orgasm approached.

Chris grabbed my thighs and spread me open wider, keeping the rhythm slow but thrusting really hard. He whispered all kinds of dirty things that made my whole body tremble when I came on his cock. My eyes rolled back in pleasure as he kept doing exactly what he was doing until I stopped touching myself. My legs felt heavy and practically powerless, he made me all weak.

“You get even tighter when you come, baby… so fuckin good.”

It took me a few minutes to start breathing normally again, and he was still going slow inside me. I thought maybe he was being sweet about my sensitivity, but I still thought it would be funny to tease him a bit more.

“Feeling sorry for me? Just fuck me hard, Chris.”

His first reaction was to burst out laughing, then he pulled my legs up, put my calves on his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. Just that move made me feel him so much deeper, giving me a preview of what was about to come. When he leaned forward a bit, I had the pleasure of seeing him suck in air through his teeth and close his eyes, twisting his face in pleasure. I could feel how tight I was with the new angle, and I knew I was going to be sore after that.

Chris fucked me so hard that my entire body moved on the couch in each thrust. My breasts bounced in the rhythm of his thrusts, too... and our moans were cut off each time his body slammed into mine. The sound of his thighs slapping against my ass was really loud, and he was so deep that it left me breathless, and felt so fuckin good that I could come again if I wasn’t already dying because of the sensitivity.

He kept up that insane rhythm for several minutes, it was so good... I was just trying to hold onto the couch so I wouldn’t slide around too much, his cock hitting all the right spots deep inside me, places I could never reach on my own.

“Gonna cum…” His voice revealed his exhaustion, and I thought that so hot that I couldn’t even explain. “Where do you want it, huh?”

“Fill me up, Chris...”

“Fuuuuck…”

He grabbed my legs even tighter, and I leaned up a bit, raising my body to watch everything he was doing to me. The look on his face when he came would stay in my mind longer than any photos or anything we did today. His abs contracting, the sweat, everything was so erotic, so hot, so perfect. I was lost and couldn’t take my eyes off him.

He slowed down until stopped thrusting, and I felt his warm liquid inside me, not wanting him to pull out. Chris folded my legs a bit more, bringing my knees close to my chest and making me lie back down as his cock slipped out.

“I never thought I’d see this.” His eyes were fixed between my legs, just like mine had been on his face seconds ago.

“See what?”

“You, all fucked up and dripping my cum like that. I can't believe we did this.”

“Me neither...” I used one hand to touch myself, feeling my sensitive spots and using his fluids to slide my fingers around, really enjoying the sensation. “But I’m glad we did.”

The way he smiled made me want to do it all over again, and if it were possible, I really would.

“I guess I can be promoted to ‘fuck buddy.’”

“Maybe, but we need to talk about it later.”

“Wanna take a shower and sleep here?”

“Do you think that's a good idea? I mean...”

I was genuinely worried about the intimacy. We didn’t have feelings for each other, and that was clear. I was terrified of making things confusing.

“I think it’s a great idea because I can do even better tomorrow morning, in my bed.”

“If you put it that way... then I’ll stay.”

[lillylvjy]

And when the seasons change (will you stand by me)

A/n- hi lovely people! So I’ve been working on this for a while and I hope it’s good to all of you reading it. This has a special place in my heart and I hope it brings comfort to some people. Yes the ending kind of drags but I wanted to put something cute at the end. Also I am not talking about James Marriott in here. It was the first name I thought of!

Warnings// panic attacks, blood, fights, swearing, reader being called names, hurt/comfort, reader getting into a fight, Wilbur and reader getting beat up, reader having doubtful thoughts, bullying and some kissing. Tell me if I missed anything :-)

words: 3.1k (I may have gotten carried away….)

Not edited!!

Enjoy <33

^^ pretty boy

You weren’t one for fights. But when people either talked shit about you or someone you cared for. That’s when shit went down.

You were sitting down in the cafeteria, drawing and listening to your playlist, waiting for Wilbur to be done with band class. He insisted on doing band, even though he hated the director, for his last year of high school. He loved it so much… even if he hated half the people. You supported him with whatever he wanted to do because he’s your best friend, and you love him.

That’s when everything went down hill.

Wilbur wasn’t the most popular kid but people did certainly like him. But some people…. Thought he was too much or too over his head.

As you sat in the corner near the back, a couple of people walked passed you as one of them slaps the back of your head.

You look up and see Catherine. The local school bitch. She’s had it out for you since 8th grade when you dated the guy she liked. I know stupid right?! By the way, worst and only relationship you’ve been in.

You rolled your eyes at her and continued drawing. As you were about to finalize your art, it got snatched out of your hands and ripped into pieces by James. The ex in question.

You sighed, “hello James.” You greeted him, completely ignoring the bitch and her minion behind him. Wasn’t your first rodeo like this.

“Don’t you ignore, you bitch. I came here for something.” Catherine added.

“Oh! And what’s that?” You faked curiosity.

“I came here to tell you that your little boyfriend, needs to stay out of my way or he’s going to get it. Like last time.”

Last time.

You were at home “sick” and skipping school when Wilbur called you crying and hyperventilating, asking you to pick him up. As you got to the school, it was around lunch, so everyone was either outside in the courtyard or inside. You saw Wilbur walk up to the car with his hood up and head down.

“Hey! What’s up? What happen-“ you didn’t get to finish your sentence when he pulled down his hood. His face was all bruised and messed up.

Your face fell and you turned your body to look at him. “Who did that? Wil, you have to tell me.” You voice got shaky as you looked at him.

You didn’t realize you were crying until Wilbur brought a hand, shakily, to your face.

“I’ll tell you when we get home ok? But for now stop crying so you can drive us to get food.” He cracked a smile as you laughed.

“Ok, what do you want?” You said as you started driving out of the parking lot.

“We go to the same place darling.” He said stubbornly.

“Ok! Damn, I’m trying to be nice and ask just in case, asshole.” You scoffed.

“Yeah I know. I’m just teasing.” Wilbur held your hand in his as you drove.

You’d think you guys were dating just by that interaction. Yes you were in love with him. But he definitely didn’t like you. You were just…. you.

Once you both ate and went home, Wilbur told you who did it and showed you all of the other bruises he had.

Stomach.

Face.

Wrist.

Probably from being held down.

Why didn’t you go to school?! Why was I so selfish! If you were there it wouldn’t have been that bad. I could’ve stopped it.

You blamed yourself for it entirely. Wilbur saw you crying again as you helped him clean his cuts. He brought you into his chest as you sobbed and apologized over and over again.

Wilbur knew what you were thinking and was quick to shut those thoughts down. “Love, it’s not your fault at all. It wouldn’t have made a difference either way if you were there. They could’ve hurt you and I’d not want that. Don’t blame yourself please.” Wilbur finished as he kissed your forehead.

You nodded and dragged him into your room. You turned on a movie as he dropped his head on your chest. You played with his hair as your thoughts got louder and louder.

Your fault.

You selfish person! If you were there, he wouldn’t be hurting!

You’re the cause of this.

You never told Wilbur about it.

But that was last year.

And you still blamed yourself.

But you weren’t going to let this pathetic person in front of you get to you. No. You were going to stay calm and let it go.

“No you won’t. You had James and his buddies do it. You won’t do shit.” You said back to her.

“Wanna say that again, whore. I will have you taken care of if I have to as well.” Catherine said as she came closer to my face. “And it won’t be as pretty as the last time.” She finished.

“You’re pathetic.” You said to her as you grabbed your bag and tried to leave.

Before you could leave, you were dragged outside the school and held to the wall by Bridget. And James.

He just watched.

But he looked confused.

“I’m going to put you through the same hell he went through.” Catherine growled out.

You don’t remember what happened next but all you new was that there was blood on both yours and Catherine’s face once you were done. James was holding her back and apologizing profusely to you as Bridget was recording the whole thing.

Why is he apologizing? She should apologize to me for trying to get at me and talking about my Wilbur.

“Stop recording you asshole.” You spit at Bridget while holding your nose and stomach. Bridget did decide to join later on and lunch you in the stomach multiple times to get some good entertainment, which never felt good.

“You crazy bitch. Stay away from me!” Catherine screams as she gets out of James’ grip and runs to the school. Bridget and James looks at you. Bridget with a disgusted look on her face and James looked at you worriedly.

You just smiled with your slightly bloodied teeth and bowed the best you could. “You’re welcome. Now you know not to mess with me or Wilbur again. Ok?” You asked. Bridget scoffed as James nodded. As they both walked away, you leaned over to grab your phone that got thrown on the floor. You opened your camera and saw how you looked.

Blood dripping down your nose uncontrollably. You had a cut on your eyebrow and a slash down your cheek.

Damn rings!

And you had bruises everywhere.

To put it short you looked terrible!

You shakily open your contacts app, click on Wil’s info and called him.

You looked around, trembling. Trying to see if he was even around you.

No stupid! He’s in art right now!

“Hey y/n! I actually meant to call you! Do you maybe want to-“

“Wil?” Your voice was shaky as it cracked.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Wilbur asked in a hurry.

“I- I had too. They were making fun of you and threatening you. They said they were going to do it again.” You cried into the phone.

It.

Wilbur knew the it.

He let out a shaky breathe. “Darling where are you?” Wilbur asked in a hushed voice. You heard rustling around and Wilbur ask if he could go to the nurses office. “Darling?”

“I-I-I’m out the doors from the cafeteria. You know where.” You said, trying to hold in cries and calm yourself down.

Wilbur eventually found you as you leaned against the brick building with you hand cupping your nose.

Why did they bring you there?

What did they going to do to you?!

Wilbur pushed his anger aside and rushed to you. “Jesus, love! Are you ok? What happened?” Wilbur asked all in one breath.

“I-I’m fine. I think. I can’t really see or breathe and I’m scared Wil.” You cried to him as he wrapped his arms around you and leant your head against his head.

“Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. Can you hear my heart beat?” You nodded. “Good. Now I want you to breathe with me, alright?” You nodded again as he started to breathe slowly with you. “Exactly. In. Then out. There you go bubs.” Wilbur rubbed your back as you finally calmed down and wiped your eyes, which you soon regretted.

“Ow! Shit, I keep forgetting my eye is bruised.” You whined.

“Hey. How about this? We get food, go to your place, get you cleaned up and cuddle. You have a comfy bed and netflix so we can just watch romcoms or anything you’d like.” Wilbur offered.

You laughed. “Ok now you’re just stealing my lines from a year ago.” You sassed at him.

“Well I’m sorry! But it’s a good idea and it helped so we’re doing it!” Wilbur exclaimed.

“Ok I’m in!” You agreed.

“Oh you didn’t really have a choice.” Wilbur commented as he held his hands out to you and lifted you up. “We’ve got to clean up that!” Wilbur sassily gestured to your face. You scoffed and slapped his arm as you both made your way to Wilbur’s car.

Once you both got food, yes at the same place, you went to your house and went straight to your bathroom.

“Sit. I’ll get everything.” Wilbur patted the countertop as he started to find the rubbing alcohol and first aid kit. You hopped up onto the counter and took off your bloodied shirt. Before anyone says anything. Wilbur has probably seen much worse and plus he’s seen you in swim suit before. Nothing special about it.

As Wilbur turned around, he looked at your stomach. His face dropped as he continued to analyze it. You were confused at first until you looked down. You face soon relaxed as you finally remembered about the kicking and punching they did to your stomach.

“Wil, I’m fine. I promise. It doesn’t hurt bad as it looks.” You told him in a hushed voice.

“Bullshit, love. You’re worse than I was.”

Wilbur said as he walked over to you and looked at your rib cage more. “They couldn’t broken something.”

“But they didn’t. And plus I put up a good fight! My fist are very strong may I add.” You said as you pathetically punched him in his stomach. He dramatically folded, clutching his stomach as he went down on the floor.

“Good bye everyone. Good bye my sunshine. Until we meet…. Again. Bleh.” Wilbur sat there with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, his body slumped over.

You started clapping while he got up from the floor. “Brilliant. Just astounding.” You said in a dramatic Victorian voice. Wilbur giggled as he got the cloth damp with the alcohol.

“Why thank you my lady.” He said, taking your hand and kissing it gently. “Now sit still, this is gonna hurt. Just squeeze my hand love.” Wilbur said in a gentle voice as you took a deep breathe.

Wilbur cleaned the cut on your forehead and eyebrow as you whimpered and held his hand tightly. “I know love. Just keep squeezing, we’re almost done.” He whispered to you as he moved down to your lip. As he cleaned your face, you admired him. The way his eyes narrowed when he concentrated. The way his eyes filled with guilt when your whimpered at the sting. The way his eyes filled with so much care and adoration as he looked at you.

“Do I look bad ass still?” You asked him in a joking tone.

Wil laughed and nodded. “Oh yeah! Definitely.” You giggled at him as you felt him clean up your nose the best he could.

“Wil don’t even try. I’ll get it later, ok?” You told him as he nodded. Before you realized what was happening you felt a kiss on your nose. You looked at Wilbur dumbfounded as he cleaned up the mess on the counter.

When he finally looked up at you, he narrowed his eyes at you. “What? Is there something on my face?” Wilbur asked. Before he could do anything else, your grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer to you.

As he got closer to you, you cupped his face and brought him down to your lips. Wilbur placed his hands around your waist, gently, as your kissed you back almost immediately. The kiss was slow and calculated. Almost hesitant. Once you brought Wilbur’s face closer to yours, that’s when the kids got hard, yet still slow.

After some time, you both pulled away to catch your breathes. As you did so, you and Wilbur rested your forehead tighter as you laughed.

“That was….”

“Amazing.” Wilbur finished for you, still amazed of the fact that you kissed him. One that he even got to kiss you.

“Wil. It’s you. It’s always been you.“ you tell him as you rub your thumbs over his cheek bones. As you look into his eyes, you can’t help but get lost in them. You loved how he let down his guard he always put up when he was around you. You loved how he made you feel at any given time. You loved everything about him.

You loved him.

“Love…” Wilbur sighed as he saw your eyes start to gloss up with tears.

“No. Don’t say anything please. I know you probably don’t like me that way and I get it, but I need to tell you more. Ever since I saw you in my 3rd grade class, I knew you were going to be someone special to me. Yes, you were an awkward little kid but that’s what made me gravitate towards you. You’re sweet, nice, caring, and so much more Wil. When I saw what they did to you that day, I-“ You took a deep breathe before continuing. “I promised myself I would protect you the best I could. And that was also the day I came to terms with my feelings for you. I love you Wilbur. I love you so very much.” You said as you sniffed and smiled at him.

Wilbur smiled back as he brought his hands up to you cheeks and held you face so gently, it was like he thought you’d break from the slightest bit of pressure. He ran his thumb across your cheek to gather the tears that fell out if your eyes. “Love. I love more than life itself. I know, I know. Cheesy. But it’s true. You are my life. Ever since that 3rd grade class.” You both laughed and he rest his forehead on yours. “I wish I could describe the feeling I have but I can’t. All I can do is show you. If that’s ok with you.” Wilbur finished as he looked at you with a questioning look.

“Yes. Of course it’s ok. Come here, please.” You slightly begged as you pulled him down for another kiss. The kiss was still slow, but it was deep and full of passion and love. As the kiss got deeper and more desperate, Wilbur slightly rubbed on one of your bruises on accident, forgetting they were there in that moment. You pulled away with a wince as Wilbur quickly stepped back away from you.

“I’m so sorry! I totally forget! I won’t do it again, I can stay away from you if yo-“

“Wilbur shut up!” You laughed at him. “I’m fine, babe. I promise. Just caught me off guard.” You smiled up at him as he came back over to you with a smirk.

“Babe? Babe. I like it. Sounds good coming from you.” Wilbur lowly whispered to you.

You blushed and looked down. “Well you better get used to it, babe, because it’s going to occur pretty often.” You bit back a smile as you looked at him.

“Hey! I’m ok with that. As long as I get to call you honey.” Wilbur held your hands.

You giggled at the nickname and shook your head. “No! That sounds like an old married couples nickname. I love it.” You smiled up at him as he leant down and pecked your nose.

“Good because that’s going to occur pretty often, honey!” Once Wilbur said honey, he scooped you up in his arms and brought you to your room. He threw you on the bed and layer on top of you, not putting all of his weight on you.

“Uh! Wil your so heavy, get off!” You whined, pawing at him. He looked up at you with the most offended look he could muster. He rolled off of you and faced his back towards you. You rolled your eyes and got up. You went to your closet and grabbed clothes. “Keep facing that way please! I’m changing.”

As you settled down and got everything where it needed, you jumped on Wilbur and koala hugged him. “Hello my love.” You said in a whisper as you looked at him. He pushed you off of him and went back to facing the same way. “Wait? Are you actually upset? If you are I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too.”

He rolled back over and wrapped his arms around your waist. He pulled you down on top of him so you were lying on him. “No love. I’m not actually mad. I’m just joking. I promise.” He whispered to you as he kissed your forehead.

“Ok good. I don’t like making you upset with me.” You admitted to him as you nuzzled into his neck.

“You could never make me upset with you love. Well….. unless you steal my food, that’s a good possibility!” He joked as you laughed at him. He rubbed your back as you melted into his touch.

“I love you, honey.” Wilbur said.

“I love you too, babe.” You pecked his lips.

“Ok so, tangled or princess and the frog?” He asked you grabbing the remote

“Tangled! Is that even a question- actually don’t answer that! That is a good question.” You admitted.

“Why not watch both?!” Wilbur suggested.

“Best idea fucking ever! This is one of the many reasons why I love you.”

“That and my very handsome looks.”

“Yeah. Sure. Think that all you want.”

“Oh shut it! You like my looks!” Wilbur yelled at you, throwing a pillow at you.

You laughed and nodded. “Now that’s true!”

You settled into Wilbur’s side as the movie intro began playing.

He knows he’s on my mind. And I’m definitely on his.

Taglist: @deadphantomsociety @aimi-chann @art3m1s-adelia @jadeissues @z0vamp (if I missed anyone or you want to be added please feel free to tell/ ask me and you’ll be added <3)

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

“You really look like shit,” Rey tells him as she plops into the booth across from him, moving linens and silverware aside to lean on the table. “You’ve worked every hour we’ve been open for the last five days. Please, go home. I don’t care about the overtime, I care about the fact that the bags under your eyes are scaring customers.” Hux shakes his head, not even looking up from the page in his thermodynamics text book he’s highlighting. “I’m two hundred dollars away from my tuition and the payment is due at midnight,” Hux tells her. ”If I don’t work this shift, I won’t graduate on time. So unless you have a pile of money hidden in this restaurant, you’ll have to drag me out kicking and screaming.” He doesn’t look up, but assumes Rey is drowning in the silence. ��You look bad enough I’d almost pull it from my own wallet. Couldn’t you get an extension?” “The bursar waits for no man, woman, or stressed server,” Hux tells her drily, choosing not to share that he’s already at the end of his extension. With enough tears, the bursar will, in fact, wait for a man. He’d filled out three different forms and practically signed his firstborn child away for the extra seven days he had to get his shit together, all while trying to prepare for midterms. “If I have you some concealer, would you wear it?” she tries, and after a moments consideration and a sigh, he nods. “You’ll have to apply it, but if it gets you to leave me alone for the next hour until my shift starts, you can make me over after I clock in.” And then, thankfully, Rey leaves him be, lets him crawl back into the depths of his research and try to forget how little he’s got for groceries after his tuition is paid, and after that, his rent looms in the distance. If Hux weren’t working at a restaurant, he would surely have starved by now. As it was, French fries and strawberries weren’t the ideal diet for a grown man, but he makes due with what he’s got available for free. In theory, his shift starts in sixty minutes. If they stay slow after that, he may be able to keep studying during service and get his presentation finished what he gets home. Hopefully, he’ll be able to roll into bed at three in the morning and wake up at seven, giving him four precious hours of sleep before his eight AM class. Turning the page, Hux is so lost in the scratching of notes that the presence now sitting across the table form him is no more than an afterthought. Perhaps Rey, trying to make him over off company time, or another server who decided that desperation and sleep-deprivation provided excellent ambiance for rolling silverware. It’s not Hux’s favorite, but he truly doesn’t have the time to do anything about it. A plate slides across the table, just hitting the top of his text book, and Hux reaches blindly, grabbing a piece from it. Normally, it’s Phasma, trying to get a plant into his body via carrot medallions or blueberries. This time, it’s puff pastry wrapped around some sort of cheese, herb, and bacon mix. It’s more effort than she normally puts in to feeding him, so Hux takes the time to look up and thank her, only to find that Phasma is not sitting there, neatly cut finger nails tapping against the table. Instead, Solo is staring at him, a mix between blank and bored. “You don’t eat enough,” he says. “Low blood sugar leads to fainting, which is an incredible workplace hazard.”

---

fuck this is so funny to me but also now I want to make brie and herb roll ups this sounds good as hell

i don’t think bacon would actually suit the flavors though I’ll probably swap that out when I edit but for now it stays until I test it out. gonna have to buy my ass some parsley

[rvnwtch]

@craftygamerkm1714 tagged me in a tag game thing!!! Here’s some answers!!

1 Are you named after anyone?

Oh this is a REALLY good question. I don’t think so. I think my parents just picked out a name they liked the sound of. (Which I’m glad for. I don’t need to carry on someone else’s legacy.)

2 When was the last time you cried?

Last night because I was listening to this woman tell a beautiful story and it-it just GOT me okay? (which is impressive, I don’t think I’ve cried from a story since Addie LaRue was early released for book of the month) also whenever I read Song of Achilles I cried for the last 16 pages.)

3 Do you have kids?

No. And I don’t know if I ever will. Part of me wants to be a mom so bad but also… I don’t think I have the patience and I think that’s very grown up of me to realize and not sad at all!

4 Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Every word out of my mouth

5 What’s the first thing you notice about people? 

If they look upset or not. I’m not judging anyone, I’m just shy and debating how to interact with people.

6 What’s your eye color?

Eye color is the color of someone’s irises! They come in a variety of colors ranging from light to dark. Hell maybe some people have no eye color at all. (Remember that sarcasm question?) That would be very badass of them.

7 Scary movies or happy endings? 

I was gonna make up like a super high stakes “I would rather do x,y,z than watch a scary movie!!” But then I decided that was untrue and I don’t want to jinx myself. (The intrusive thoughts started getting me on this one LMAO). Happy endings, when done right, are very nice.

8 Special talents? 

I pick up on things really fast (as long as I’m not anxious or being pressured! Or bored.) I’m just a quick learner so long as I’m interested. 

9 Where were you born?

In a hospital. Probably in an operating room of some sort.

10 What are your hobbies?

I’ve been trying to figure this one out lately. Outside of ESO and reading I don’t do much. I do Like tarot cards, there are some really fun editions out there. And I can’t say any of these things to people I’ve just met! I need more things to do.

11 Do you have any pets?

On Elder Scrolls I have so many pets that my little sibling heard me talking about getting the free Gallen Wisp or whatever it’s called and shouted “I don’t think you need any more pets.” Which is blatantly untrue. I will not rest until I’ve collected every pet in that damn game. My favorite is the wicker fright banekin (but don’t tell the other pets I said that!)

12 What sports do you/have you played?

I was gonna make another joke and say something like “exercise is for the weak!” But that is like the opposite of true so I’ll answer this one. When I was in preschool I “played” soccer. But the coach was mean and I was like four, so I refused to go to the practice sessions or play in the games. I wanted to do volleyball in high school, but I didn’t want people to look at me (being a high schooler and all!) so I didn’t do that either. And I don’t really regret either of those decisions.

13 How tall are you? 

Taller than the tallest mountain peak. I’m so tall that I wear clouds as hats. My goal in life is to always be admired for my pure and authentic height. (Tall for a woman but I will not be sharing anything too identifying on my social media account where I write about video game vampires, Hahaha!)

14 Favorite subject in school?

I’m sure this will come as a surprise, but anything that involved writing! It took less effort than math, and science class has always been hard for me. History was fine, but it had gotten repetitive by high school. I was almost always excited for Language Arts/Reading class. Or any time we got to use class time in the library.

15 Dream job? 

Something that’s partially remote. I wouldn’t mind working from home two or three days out of the week and going in only once or twice. I need something that gets me out of the house, but I’m a major homebody with anxiety so… I need to spend time in my room to recuperate. Also important would be something where people won’t yell at me. 

I’m tagging @simping-master-69 and

@i-simp-for-fennorian !!!

[stillswearing]

7:30 AM - Errand day. I’m at Starbucks, RBC. Luckily it opens at 6AM; I was concerned I would have nowhere to kill time for about 2 hours before my bank opens at 9am.

Yeah, bank errands. In a bid to be more fiscally responsible, I am putting my eggs in separate baskets, as they say. I’m opening another time deposit account so I won’t touch a bulk of my money for a few years. This comes at the heels of my opening an investment account. I don’t know, man. I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m doing this “saving money” thing correctly. But it’s brought me to this point where I woke up at 5:30 am, so I can go to the bank at 9am.

I’m also scheduling a doctor’s appointment - for around lunch 10-11am. See, I was told more than a month ago during my office APE that I didn’t need to pee in a cup. And then last week the company nurse told me I needed to. So here I am, booking a slot at a mall clinic that honors my insurance. I’m lucky that the clinic is in Shangri-La… I think. Honestly, it remains to be seen. I’ll see when I get there.

Did I mention I woke up at 5am?

I can’t believe I’m at a Starbucks with an Iced Grande White Sweet Cream Cold Brew, typing away on a Mac, like some a living effigy to consumerism. Burn me. I can see myself from a third person perspective, and I can’t help but judge that girl in the corner, in a tank top and Nikes, with her headband and tinted lips. As office folks in their smart casuals get their mediocre morning in the nearest available shop. Basically, I’m bringing influencer-core in this corporate Starbucks. Very cute of me. Speaking of smart casual - I do love the middle-class juxtaposition of a smart pair of slacks against a commuter’s backpack.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh right. All this to say, that as I sit here typing, in an attempt to look busy in this restaurant since I can’t use my phone and computer without wi-fi (and I refuse to pay more on my phone bill unless I really have to), what I want to actually do is write out yet another one of my insane late-night breakthroughs as I talk to myself to exhaustion. I already started writing about this on my Tumblr - but that was more of an aimless post than an actual meditation on something deep that had happened.

(Some lady who looks like Ma’am Clem just walked in the shop. Our eyes met. I don’t think it’s her but my stomach dropped for 0.5 seconds. Quick, keep your eyes on the screen and continue typing. I can overhear her talking to the patron sitting across me. He had been talking to himself out loud; it had taken me a moment to realize this man was memorizing lines.)

Anyway, back on topic. Here I go.

My therapist (great start) told me in our last session that she attributes my black-white thinking to religious trauma. (It’s probably a mix of trauma and general autism but I’m good with seeing it as a trauma response for now.) And I just want to break down how this type of thinking has both served me and hurt me. I think it pays not to totally vilify this tendency I have - my first instinct was to “fix it,” but I realize it would be better at this stage to “contextualize it” instead.

Pros - Having black-white thinking has enabled me to have clear standards and boundaries with people. I have expectations of how I want myself and those close to me ought to conduct themselves, and when they fail to do that, I know that need to either communicate some changes or slowly let it go. It’s pretty clear cut to me.

Edit: 2:45pm - im home now. And I just want to add that I developed this “tool” as a result of losing religion as my center, my sense of value and identity. So having this black-white thinking was kinda like a barometer of goodness and excellence outside of religion, and more informed by intellect, community, and empathy.

(Oh shit Robyn just came on the Starbucks radio. Happy pride.)

However, black-white thinking isn’t beneficial to me when I start feeling incredibly shitty about myself when I do not meet the high standards I’ve set for myself. More importantly, I feel shitty when other people don’t meet these standards as I translate this as them not valuing/loving me. Wild, I know. And these high standards for myself and other people come from me having The Responsible Role since I was a literal child. It has been my identity since forever - I don’t remember at time where I was not conscious that my actions and decisions impact other people in my life. (I remember it being a breakthrough at an early age that I do not have to be responsible or feel guilty for men’s misogynistic behavior around me. That’s on them, not me.) And since my “love language” is ultimately taking care of someone to the utmost standard that I can, I do not feel taken care of when they fail to do the same for me - even if they are trying their best. My unhealthy thinking is, “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t make THIS mistake… because I wouldn’t.”

For example,

AA, JV, My job

It’s a lot.

So yeah, there. My non-black-white thinking about black-white thinking. It’s pretty, dare I say, therapeutic to get that all out. I’m back to meeting with Josie once a month. So I hope it all works out.

And I special shoutout to my friends who HAVE met these nearly impossible standards of mine. They are truly out of this world.

I would end this way more neatly if I wanted to - I still have 15 mins before I go to the bank - but frankly I am an impatient person and this exercise has bored me.

I’ll work on my writing habits some more next time. I know I always say that but I do want to hone and refine (aka “FIND”) my own voice again, beyond all the formal pseudo-writing I do for my job over the past 5 years.

Anyway, ciao.

It’s Taylor Swift on the radio now. Ew. Time to go.

[Edit: 9 July]

I have more insights after talking with A out loud about the things I have learned so far in therapy.

I think I was also hating myself because I operated under the thinking that my thoughts and feelings should match up with my actions (very Christian of me, I know.) So when I was responding with grace, empathy, and kindness to the shitty situations that Alie and my job put me in, I still felt like I was still falling short of my own standards since I don't actually FEEL any grace or empathy or kindness towards them - I hate them.

I saw that as me being fake. But now I know that me externalizing the "correct" and "good" responses regardless of how I actually felt was me having Principles. That was me saying, "I want to conduct myself in a manner of dignity regardless of the pain that others cause me. Yes I still feel the fury and disappointment, but I will choose, not ignore them, but to temporarily set it aside so I can respond in a way that will ultimately give me peace in the long run. I do good things not for the benefit of the people who hurt me (they do not factor at all). I do these actions, regardless of how I feel at the moment, for myself so I can respect myself and not regret my actions.

Therapist told me I think in black and white due to evangelical trauma. (I left around 10 years ago.) This practice isn't limited to judging people's morality and actions. It extends to how I label things, ideas, feelings, phenomena, etc. under categories or concepts, so I can easily navigate the world.

I find that fascinating. See the upside of seeing patterns easily, of being able to draw conclusions and come up with categories, is that I have clear and "good" standards for myself and others and the world. I can spot social red flags miles away and I can dodge emotional bullets like the matrix.

And if I'm gonna be kind, I'm gonna be the KINDEST PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET. If I need to be responsible, I will be the most RESPONSIBLE AND HELPFUL HUMAN ever. If I can't meet your needs, I will at least BE THE BEST PERSON AT COMMUNICATING THAT. And I expect the same level of care to be returned to me. This is how I understand love - people being the best they can be to be "good" to the people they care for. Anything not that? Well.

The downside of thinking like this is that I feel constantly devalued and uncared for when people don't meet my black-and-white standards. If you fail, then you've fallen short, you're in the black - not white. And for some reason, my brain will interpret that as "You don't care about me. If you did, you wouldn't have done this mistake. I don't think I should be here anymore."

WHICH IS!!! APPARENTLY!!! NOT THE WAY!!! NORMAL HUMANS WORK!!! SINCE PEOPLE ARE MULTIFACETED!!!

This thinking leads me to a weird lone-wolf lifestyle that I don't like. I don't see myself as an independent girlboss bitch with no deep social connections. And now i gotta learn how to expand my concept of "care" and "value" if I want to actually FEEL connected to others. Isn't that wild.

[dresshistorynerd]

Victorian Dress For Every Occasion - 1890s Edition

The Victorian period was much about appearances and very specific etiquette, especially when it came to clothing. They had dressing etiquette for literally every activity during the day and people changed their outfit many times a day, especially in upper class circles. It honestly gets very convoluted so I decided to look into it more deeply. Not understanding the dress etiquette of the times creates a lot of weird costumes in period drama for example, where a dress might have elements of real extent garments, but they are combined in ways that would make no sense to Victorians.

To limit this post and my research I’m looking into 1890s. I also think it gives better idea about the differences between the outfits if they are all from the same decade. I’ll also limit myself to upper class and women’s clothing. I think it would be interesting to look at men’s dress etiquette and etiquette of the lower classes, but alas it has to be another post.

The broad strokes are that from the turn of the 19th century to WW1 during the day you would wear long sleeves and little to no cleavage and in the evening you could show more skin, except when dining. The specifics shifted from time and place.

Nightgown

Nightgown, as you might guess, was worn for sleeping. They started as basically shifts, the very basic under dress worn next to skin, but during the Victorian Era they became increasingly elaborate and when 1890s was reached they were profoundly extra. You would never show yourself in your nightgown alone. For them it was probably pretty much the same as wearing only your underwear. Even in your bedroom or dressing room you would cover it up, which leads us to...

Dressing Gown

Dressing gown was exactly what was used to cover nightgown. In some sources I’ve seen this called wrapper. But basically it was a glorified bathrobe. It was not used outside your own private chambers, but inside them while you got ready for the day. It was usually long and loose comfortable robe, often tied by waist with a cord. During summer they were light and in winter they might have been woolen or from quilted fabric for warmth. They were heavily inspired from especially Japanese kimono as Orientalism was very in in Europe during 19th century. Under it a ribbon corset or morning corset could be used, but that was not necessary. Ribbon corset was made entirely of thick ribbons and ended under the bust, with only couple of bones to keep it in shape, and morning corset doesn’t have cording and instead is just wrapped around the torso. They were made for comfort and bust support and didn’t shape heavily or reduce waist.

Wrapper

Wrapper or morning dress was used during the morning in the comfort of home. The terminology around this type of clothing is murky and they had a lot of overlap with tea gown and dressing gown. Some primary sources described wrapper as something you can wear on top of a dress to keep the dress clean and others as plainer and looser version of the day dress. Most extent garments, I found from 1890s, were the latter type. The former sounds something that could be used as a dressing gown too, which would explain, why the dressing gown was called wrapper in some sources. What I have gathered, is that earlier in Victorian era wrapper meant something similar to dressing gown, but maybe more presentable or dress-like, worn over a morning dress of just the undergarments. I think by the 1890s the whole outfit worn in morning had begun to be referred as wrapper, since I had a hard time finding morning dresses dated to 1890s. Regardless of the terminology, in 1890s wrapper was used in home outside personal chambers. It was acceptable to receive early visitors in it, but it was very informal and mostly reserved for very close people. It was plain and practical, but when it comes to rich people it became increasingly elaborate during Victorian era. It’s a theme here. It was often loose, but it could be more or less structured (often less). Under it you would usually wear all the typical undergarment layers (combinations or shift with drawers, corset, corset cover and petticoat), though morning or ribbon corset could be worn instead of the normal one.

Tea gown

Tea gowns started as house dress, basically an open presentable wrapper worn over a fancier petticoat or morning dress, but by the 1890s it became somewhat of a statement piece. At first it was seen as tacky to be too dressed up in your own home, even when receiving guests, but I think we have established that 1890s Victorians were very, very extra. Tea gowns were worn for receiving house guests during the day and in the late Victorian era, as tea gowns had become so extravagant, they were also used in the evening for receiving casual gatherings of close friends or family. Similar to wrappers, they were looser than clothing worn outside, but could be structured or lack any structuring at all. Except they were made from more expensive materials and had much more detailing. They also often had drains and a real or fake open robe-like thing, which I assume was a nod to house dresses. All the undergarments were worn under it, but morning or ribbon corset could be used under it, if very close friends were visiting. Very loose tea gowns (like the pink one on the right) show well the roots of the tea gown which are in the Victorian counter culture fashion movement, Aesthetic movement, which rejected the rigid Victorian silhouette.

Day dress

Day dress or afternoon dress was formal and elaborate, as it was used outside of home and meant to be seen. Unlike the gowns reserved for home usage, it was generally made from two pieces, bodice and skirt. But of course, you would always wear matching pieces. It had long sleeves and high neckline. As the name reveals, it was worn during daytime. It could be worn for visiting and then, especially when visiting close friends or relatives, it could have slightly shorter sleeves or lower neckline, but not as low as with evening wear. It was also worn for promenading outside. When used for carriage rides train was acceptable, when for walks, shorter one was seen as preferable, but as we know Victorians were extra and sometimes still wore a train. Since weddings were (and are) held during the day, a day dress was used for that too. The finest day dress was used of course and after queen Victoria’s wedding white became the most popular color. People who weren’t rich, might have still opted out from it, as pure white dress was very expensive.

Walking dress

Walking dress was, you guessed, used for walking. Victorians were really into city walks and would use a walking dress for looking around in cities. It was a type of day dress but much more practical and less elaborate. It was usually made from sturdier materials and the skirt was short enough to reveal shoes. It often had a skirt, blouse and a coat, sometimes a waistcoat too. Because of it’s practicality, it was often used for travelling too.

Dinner dress

Dinner dress was used in evening, but unlike other evening dresses, more skin coverage was appropriate. Sleeves could be as short as elbow length and neckline could be more open than with day dress. As the name suggests, it was used for dining and dinner parties.

Evening dress

Evening dress was the fanciest of them all and the most official. It had short sleeves or only straps (in the middle of the decade huge sleeves very very fashionable) and low and wide neckline. It was used in fancy evening occasions when presenting yourself for the high society. Balls were of course the main events of high society, there every one would put on the best they had, there was no holding back. For opera people also dressed to be seen and would dress up, but for theater a little toned down look was more appropriate.

It was very common to have bodices for different occasions (day/evening/dinner) made for the same skirt, so same material and style, but different sleeve lengths and necklines. Clothing were very expensive and the skirt had the biggest amount of fabric making it the most expensive part, so it was very economical to use the same skirt for different occasions.

[spyoikawa]

still on that saiki k brainrot so hear me out-

metori, saiki, teruhashi, aren and hairo with an s/o who really loves to bake/cook-

no thoughts just Reader learning how to make coffee jelly for saiki (like maybe they make him a tower of coffee jelly for an anniversary or his birthday-). no thoughts just Reader cooking something for metori who pretends to not want to eat it cause it’s ‘peasant food’ but ends up really enjoying their cooking. no thoughts just cooking/baking date with teruhashi. no thoughts just teaching aren how to cook/bake and having a food trade with him, bringing him lunch/a snack to school. and no thoughts just hairo hyping Reader up while they cook/bake and making stuff for him to bring to class rep meetings-

thank you! <3

the excitement I got got I saw teruhasi- i don't see a lot of writing for her and I get happy when I get to do less than common things! Thanks!

I'm running low on creative juices, so please I hope you don't mind if I use the exact scenarios you suggested 💀

Note: some of the things I wrote felt really rude so please don't mind the tone tags in parentheses, also i have not edited this yet

Saiki, Teruhasi, Hairo, Aren, and Saiko with an S/O who can cook/bake

♡romantic♡

Saiki Kusuo (italics = saiki telepathy)

Although it was undeniably tasty, your boyfriend's obsession with coffee jelly was not only getting out of hand but also quite expensive-

I mean he spent 3,000 yen for one serving-

But yanno what it's ok, coffee jelly is easy to make, and this gives you an excuse to hang out (not that you need one)

"Ok Ku, i had an idea"

I like it, just make sure you teach me how to do it too

"Rude. I wasn't finished"

You did in your head

As endearing as it could be sometimes, Saiki's mind-reading could be a pain occasionally

You wound me.

"Good. (/j)"

After a long debate over recipes and serving sizes, there it was, in all its glory, your first batches of coffee jelly

it was heaven

You did end up sharing the recipe with him, but it still became a little tradition to make the coffee jelly together

It just tastes better that way :)

Kokomi Teruhashi

In the midst of your TV and cuddles date, Kokomi huffed and turned off the TV

But of course it was rude to just turn off the TV, so she offered to play a board game instead

You did play with her, but your curiosity was begging as to why she wanted to change the activity

"Hey Kokomi, this game is fun, don't worry... but why'd you turn off the TV so suddenly?"

"Oh, it was nothing! I just thought you would like this game, and I wanted you to enjoy yourself more!"

Now, that's the answer the most perfect girl in the world would give

But Kokomi is still human, there's gotta be something wrong

You spent a while thinking to yourself about what you were watching, you two agreed on a documentary, then after the documentary, the channel played a cooking show with a guest baker/cook Makoto Teruhashi- oh.

So that was it

At the end of the round, you stood up and offered your hand to pull up Kokomi with you.

"Hey, wanna make a bet?"

She looked up with a bit of curiosity.

"I bet you, I can make your favorite dish, far better than Makoto can"

She smiled a bit, "sure!"

Her favorite food was simple, so you taught her to cook it and added in some other things just for fun (and so she can't recreate it without your secret ingredients)

Now you guys have cooking dates often and always find ways to spice up foods (and beat Makoto at whatever he was doing on tv)

Hairo Kineshi

my thoughts and prayers go to you

we all saw what happened when he tried to make crepes

but in his mind, it was a learning opportunity

You guys were taking an after-school stroll, the weather was really nice, it would be a shame if you two just went home and did nothing. Walks like these tend to get sentimental and nostalgic, so your conversation subconsciously started to drift towards school life.

"And do you remember that time we had to get kuboyasu, kaido, and nendo to play on a baseball team? Oh my god thank god it didn't go too poorly, that one player really pulled through at the end..." you laughed out

"Haha I do remember that, I can't believe we got them to play, it really could've gone worse" He smiled as he remembered that day, but then his eyes drifted up to a bakery across the road. "Speaking of poor experiences..."

after he explained to you he and kaido's crepe disaster, you couldn't help but tease fun at him for a bit

but you did agree to teach him more about cooking and baking

he's a bit too passionate about cracking eggs, but hey, at least you can work faster

after many, many burnt crepes and pans, there it was, a fallen appart, incorrectly folded, but still a properly cooked crepe sat there in all its beauty

it kinda looked like this

Although he does learn many different things with you, crepes will be the thing he makes over and over again, even when he has it down to a science, just because it's the first thing you taught him, and he will keep that sweet memory forever (get it. sweet? Cause crepes? Im funny i swear.)

Aren Kuboyasu

He actually knows how to cook pretty well

He's not really sure when he picked up cooking, its kinda just stuck around, but he enjoys it, it makes him seem more goody

and he can treat you :)

I will die on my "aren lives for the most basic/domestic activities hill"

cooking with him is always an experience, he will play music in the background, and pull you aside to dance at random times

also does that really hot thing where he stands behind you, reaches around to hold your hands, and basically has you in a cage while showing you how to do something

it's one of those spontaneous things to do, if there's nothing else to do, might as well make something to eat

firm believer in "if you have to eat to live, you might as well eat delicious foods" so he will always try out new things with you if its healthy and tasty

"bab look at this show" you called out from where you were sitting, there was a cooking show/food documentary on, and it was showing a special food. "it says this chicken has a secret sauce they dip it in"

he walked over to the tv and watched it for a couple seconds, thinking a bit.

"...wanna figure it out?"

"yes. I'll make the chicken if you figure out the sauce?"

"deal."

will you ever know if you got the secret sause? Nope, but you did figure out a chicken recipe that is good as hell

he probably writes down all the recipes you "invented" together for safekeeping and so he can return to it later, but he refuses to show it to anyone

Saiko Metori

as much as I love him, we all saw in that one episode how picky he is while eating, and is probably a bitch to please while cooking/baking

so after a lot of convincing, you got him to sit in the kitchen with you so he can watch you bake for the two of you

in reality, all you have to do is give the dish a fancy rich-sounding name, you just have to be really careful with what you say

like this 💀

you decided to bake for him today, baking is a lot more "by the book" than cooking, so you thought he would take a bit of comfort in knowing it was done in a professional way

"alright tori, so I think I'll make a heavy pastry made with fine cacao and extracts, baked into a rich dessert for a fine sweet palette"

"you're making brownies aren't you"

"🧍‍♂️"

Told you, you have to be as specific as possible

He does eventually get interested in what you're doing though, as he never really sees his personal chef cook, and wants to help you by the end

He really did enjoy it! It quickly became one of his favorite treats

But funny enough, no matter how many bakeries he tried or how many times his chef tried, they never tasted the same

(you put in special spices as your own little mark on the treat)

so he ends up having you over for more cooking dates

Which he really does enjoy btw

as a tsundere he will look all annoyed and probably call you a plebe, but these are his favorite types of dates