#i’ll never turn one down
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okay now i can’t stop thinking about soccer dad!aaron. and specifically this
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SO MANY THOUGHTS#and none pure#hehe ps my inbox is always looking for soccer dad!aaron requests#i’ll never turn one down#aaron hotchner#criminal minds
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lord have mercy I FINISHED IT YAYYY🎉🎉🎉
Some fanart of @blackkatdraws’s Narrator, Black!! I’ve been wanting to draw him for a while and got smacked with some sudden motivation this weekend, so here we are! :] His color palette and design are so nice, I had a blast with this
#RAHHHHH ITS FINALLY DONE LETS GOOOOOO#he's one of The Narrators of All Time in my book#literally iconic we love him<3#I really wanted to push myself with the lighting and I’m so happy with how it turned out :]]#ibis nearly crashed on me three times BUT WE KEEP GOING#NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT‼️⁉️#also the entire time I was drawing him I had Le Monde - From Talk to Me playing#and now I don’t think I’ll be able to hear it again without thinking of him#tsp#tspud#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp narrator#tspud narrator#narrator tsp#narrator tspud#lava’s doodles
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I love that post about the difference between George and Nico’s approaches about beating Lewis because it is so George-is-a-child-of-brocedes-divorce coded. He really saw one of his divorced dads still weirdly obsessed with ‘winning’ the divorce while his other dad has totally moved on and decided he didn’t want that for himself and I love that for him
Anon, I think you might have deeply misunderstood my blog— when I said George calls Lewis daddy, this is not the relationship I was picturing.
I was picturing them fucking, to be clear.
But judging by how George acts around Nico nowadays, I think the better analogy is “I have seen the knock on effect of how you hurt my partner, your ex, and I want to be as far from that as physically possible”
#asks#anonymous#*puts a 0 back on the days since someone called George Lewis’ child in my asks board’#look I get if that’s not your intention but considering just how much I talk about them fucking#you can get how jarring it is yes?#*taps sign* WE DO LEWIS/GEORGE HERE#it’s one thing to fuck a fan boy we will not be fucking sons here#but I’ll never turn down the chance to flip of Nico so thanks for that
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“The real game will begin momentarily… Stay tuned :)”
Costas Mandylor as The Warden in Death Count(2022)
#gifset#robo gifs#< that’s a new one! never thought i’d be posting gifs on here but i couldn’t find any of this character#so i made my own :]#the warden#death count#there’s no way there’s an actual tag for this movie so i’ll tag the actor i guess ??#costas mandylor#this movie was. strange and not very good but i REALLY enjoyed this character#he’s such a freak i loved how sadistic and yet kind of childish he was like the way he’d smile giddily as he tortured people#as for the movie as a whole it felt very very confused about what point it was even trying to make#liked the concept of a killer game show host having an audience control the fates of the contestants#but the plot itself kind of bogged it down and it was too heavy handed about social media being bad while not making an actual point about i#didn’t mean to turn this into a film review oops
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Here’s a sketch of George I thought was pretty (also bonus Maria staring cause she’s not immune to this idiots non existent charms)
#ignore the text pls that’s just some dialogue I thought of#i Wanna turn their story into a comic one day so any dialogue that pops into my head I’ll write it down#you have no idea how much fluff and angst I imagine for them#i imagine so much fluff and angst for them that they have their own playlist#I’m not normal about my own ocs#pls join me in shipping them cause ugh I love them sm!!!!!#emily’s ocs#my ocs#ocs#80s band ocs#george#maria#george sallow#maria lovelace#yes they do have last names (never mentioned them cause none of my other ocs have last names yet)#figured I should do that now so it’s easier to find stuff for them
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Getting off my ass and downloading my favorite fics to put on a jump drive I bought with a fuck tonne more storage than the two I already had from when I was in school and, wow, this is actually so much easier than the rest of the stuff I’ve been downloading for various reasons (articles on stuff I want to have around but worry might be impacted by this new presidency). You just pick pdf (or whatever you like) and bam! It’s right there in your downloads ready to be stashed away, no annoying nitpicking where I have to delete stuff I don’t need in the document or huge blank spaces, it’s just ready! Like, listen. I love “print friendly and pdf” Firefox extension, but I always have to end up deleting some stuff that is just taking up space. It does its job! It’s just not going to be neat and tidy when the website doesn’t intend for you to do this. Archive of our own does that whole thing of making a pdf themselves! This is going to go so much faster than the other stuff I’ve been downloading as pdfs
Anyway, I love you as well Smithsonian magazine website for not only being free, but also just having that extension on all your articles! That’s actually how I found it in the first place. Before that I was copy pasting every paragraph into a pages document and it was way more tedious.
#emma posts#I feel like an old woman who figured out how to use her email#more and more every day#I am not bad at computers while also being bad at computers#I’m getting sidetracked here though#I really just keep developing tricks to solve my computer problems but then there’s an easy solution that I just don’t know about#like that Firefox extension#am I good or bad with computers? I think a secret third thing#I’ll think I’m bad with them and then I’ll see someone who is just straight up terrible with them and I’m like#‘well. im not great. but im also not that’#I won’t ever be able to download every fic I want to read#I’m sorting through my bookmarks to take what I think I should grab. but I have so much in the ‘want to read’ thing#I don’t know if my jump drive could pull that and all my non fanfiction off#I really haven’t purchased a jump drive in awhile though#I saw the storage on one of the first to come up and was like ‘holy shit!’#girlie has not purchased one since 2015 okay#I really hope I just end up doing this and then it turns out I didn’t need to#but if I didn’t do it and it turns out I needed it…#no. wouldn’t want that#I need sleep. I just started laughing at the thought of having illicit Wikipedia articles on a jump drive like some heinous shit#but it’s literally just an article about the history behind Yule or something#forbidden out of Africa Wikipedia article PDF#I don’t know what kind of stuff falls under the stuff in that project 2025#they have brains that work in ways I don’t understand#you know some of them would be like ‘you have to take down your article about ice age humans because creationism real I guess’#‘how dare you have information on the history of religion?!’ scandalous#and I know I can never afford to buy books on every single one of those things#but science magazines and Wikipedia articles? sure#I’m getting really sidetracked but this is making me feel like I can do something#it’s giving me some sense of control and distraction and if I don’t have those things to channel this energy I’ll just get worse
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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its kind of crazy how much easier it is to relax and talk to people when i have something covering my eyes
#Ummm… homestuck anyone?!#im not about to wear sunglasses 24/7…….. YET#i cpuld be the cool and sexy mysterious person. whose eyes have never been seen before. ill woo man and woman alike with my aloofness#and when they confess to me with bouqets i’ll turn them down because im ALREADY TAKEN!#and theyll all weep with dismay and throw themselves off a bridge or something nonsensical like that#im not doing that though. i went through a phase like that with beanies and it was horrible#the first time my mom made me go out without one on i felt so extremely naked#and i wanted to DIE! i never wanna rely on something that heavily in order to feel comfortable in my own skin
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What’s she listening to?
WIP, prolly gonna line and color this in later but I like how this looks so far c:
#Tonari of Jananda#Tonari#WIP#my art#wont tag the rest of the fandom cuz it’s technically incomplete I suppose#I’m like. enamored with how she’s turning out tho this outfit is so cute on her#it’s an outfit @squire_gob made on Twitter#I dunno if they made a tumblr but I’ll @ them or include a link to the original once I get the color down I think#I love her I love how she can’t sit normally even with a skirt on she’s just like me for real#Tonari’s never beating the Bisexual allegations and 90% of it is cuz she sits like that#I wanna see her sitting backwards on a chair next has anyone done that yet? I feel like it has but I can’t find it yet#like I saw it in last week’s chapter but I think I hallucinated it#considering just making that content myself rn#I’m just holding off for a bit on drawing her new design till my friends catch up cuz I want them to experience what I did#when she walked on screen in that outfit dude I lost my marbles#I love one (1) Babygirl so much and it’s weird cuz I don’t want her or kin her. it’s a secret third thing#it’s just secret even to me (it’s love. I love her. her character rules. probably doesn’t need to be more complicated than that)#alright nova ramble over. I’ll have this WIP done once I’m through with my first MizuHanna YuriLympics entry#byeeeee 👋
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how bad is it to say you hate your mother lmao
#x#she has turned into the most inconsiderate selfish person#and I think I mourned who she used to be but now everything she does she makes me angry#she just takes and takes and takes#I never wanted to say this here but she basically took my first car#and she uses shit without a backup plan - it was never for hers to keep#but she just thinks that solves her problem#I worked so hard for it too among many other things#and this move also has just shown how fucking selfish and ungrateful she is#my parents are divorced by my dad still helped move her shit and clean#she had her brother come down to help and she wasn’t even prepared bc nothing was packed even though I told her to start weeks ago#I’m so angry and upset and now they’re telling me they’re back tracking on taking one of the cats so now I’ll have both#and I can’t talk to anyone about it bc no one gets it!!!!!!#this is just one of a few problems tbh there is so much more but I’m done I’m at my wits end with her
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Just talked to some Jehovah’s Witnesses about the occupation of Palestine on my porch
#one thing about me I can’t turn away religious missionaries#it feels so rude idk . I don’t fw what they’re doing but also they were already indoctrinated and get doors slammed in their faces all day#so I like to be kind to them and hear what they have to say just like human to human#even tho I know I’ll never agree enough to buy into what they’re selling#they were nice tho they showed me a corny video about God’s Kingdom and just talked to me a lil bit#and gave me a pamphlet that I’m prolly not gonna read#they just got out of church I think?#bc there was like a parade of Jehovah’s Witnesses in nice clothes walking down my street#idk where their church is I didn’t know we had much of that demographic in my neighborhood akdjskfkakcmskfm#most of the people I’ve met here are puerto rican catholics lol
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No Lamp
I have lived in this house for 3 years, but tonight Ao3 is down so I set down my phone, and reached for one of my books… only to realize that I don’t have a bedside lamp.
#no lamp#ao3 is down#alas my hubris#why did it never occur to me that I didn’t have one#I could leave the overhead light on#but then I’ll have to get up to turn it off when I’m done#I could use my phone flashlight#but that will involve awkward juggling.#it’s not that I never read books#just not usually before bed#this is a new problem#I’ve never needed a lamp
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No Skip Albums: Tag Game
I was tagged by: @larriescompass
(Thank you for tagging me! Although I post on my blog I don’t really interact with people so it was nice of you to tag me <3)
Rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums
LIVE: Louis Tomlinson
AM: Arctic Monkeys
Take Me Home: One Direction
Harry’s House: Harry Styles
I’m gonna tag @m1dnight-m3mories @ificouldfly369 @mimiluvsoned @dpsenthusiast and @downtowncats so participate if you feel like it! <33
#honestly i’m a sl!t for each and every louis-song but rn the live album is the one really hitting the spot#i also love every 1D album as well as every AM and HS album#thx for tagging me so i could participate!#i’ll never turn down an opportunity to share my fav things
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for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain
#and don’t even TALK about snow angels around me i’ll cry blood and vomit tears#that fic gave me SO many trust issues i hve TO THIS DAY#and i KNOW ive ranted about this before but IT GENUINELY TRAUMATISED ME#but i was at one of the lowest points of my life and decided fuck it. i’m gonna read a long fic. i’m usually a max 25k person but i was like#nah let’s get invested in this one. good ol erisol human au. what could go wrong#oh dear reader it turns out that there was something that could go wrong#because at tht time i was an avid ff net user and there are no warnings there#especially not for major character death.#so i’m so invested in this fic#got a few chapters left. and then i start a chapter i swear ive read before in a one shot#and i’m over the MOON bc i know how this ends. they get engaged! so i’m SO fkn happy#and then. all alone in the snow of their front yard. eridans heart gives out. and he’s gone.#as a very traumatised teen who was dependant on happy endings to make me feel like life was worth living#i have never felt heartbreak and betrayal like that. only other thing that ever made me feel that much was my really messy breakup w da loml#i didnt sleep for a week. i was constantly sobbing and breaking down at school#reading about sollux going through their minecraft world and i just#yeah.#haven’t been able to make pancakes since too. used to be the thing i was best at#since then pancakes minecraft and snow angels are forever tainted#absolutely INCREDIBLE fic but i do Not do MCD or sad endings#and i was like being horrifically abused going thru hormonal conversion therapy to ‘fix’ my nonexistent sex drive#whilst dealing with r/pe accusations simultaneously . as a fkn 16 year old baby trans gay ace#so i was going thru it and when i tell you my ENTIRE mental state was depending on the dopamine i got from fan fictions w endings that#gave me hope my story wasn’t gonna end there. for them to struggle for so long to find true happiness within eachother#to them being torn apart by the cruel hand of death#bro i was inconsolable for so long . i still am and im almost 26 LMFAO#know it seems so silly to be so worked up over this but i can’t articulate how much my undiagnosed autistic bpd cptsd ridden self depended#on these fics to emotionally regulate#OBV THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST THE AUTHOR OR THE FIC I WAS JUST YOUNG AND TRAUMATISED AND COPING UNHEALTHILY#but i will never be able to play minecraft happily ever again
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You ever read a fic that makes you so angry you feel the need to rewrite it and fix it… anyways you guys might be seeing that soon
#haven’t started writing it yet#YET#but that’s because I’m making dinner so I’m a bit preoccupied#BUT I HAVE IDEAS#and I think it’ll be good#also it’ll be on Ao3#I’ll just put a link here#and if you’re wondering what fic I could have possibly read since ao3 is still down#wonder no more#it was on ffn#yes that desperate#it’s actually a fic I’ve been looking for for years but was never able to find#turns out it’s because I found it on one of my brief once in a blue moon trips over to ffn#supernatural#fanfiction#FanFiction.Net#ao3 is still down helpppp
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Tbh fellas my identity has reached a point of true “idgaf” (it has been like this for months actually. Lolz.) Thinking abt it gives me brainrot. Pronouns? Idc call me whatever. Gender? I am not a man that’s all I got. Sexuality? Idk. I don’t wanna date people tho!!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna find myself!!!!!!!!!!!! I am Aaliyah sammydem0n64 and I am autistic and that’s it‼️‼️‼️‼️
#could have a serious thing abt this but. ew#been on my mind for a while now and it’s 2 am so I get to have introspective rambles#labels r hard. sexuality and gender is a spectrum. I’ve never cared abt pronouns but they/she is easier#maybe there’s a fear that if I’m cis or something people won’t like me for having queer characters#maybe my peers won’t respect me anymore bc boooooooooo to non queer people yucky yucky#but also I don’t think. I’m cishet I don’t think so#but also I just don’t know and idk if I’ll ever know bc I guess I don’t know how!!!!!!#I’ve had 1 romantic relationship and even then we mutually broke up bc we realized we were just best friends#and got platonic relationships mixed up with romantic#and I haven’t wanted a relationship since lol#am I aro? idk. I find people attractive. I just don’t wanna date people rn and maybe that’ll change#am I a woman? idk. I like having boobs. I call myself a woman. but am I one? fuck if I know#like I said I’m just not a man. I’m not a man solely#I don’t identify as one and won’t bc I’m not that. but that’s the only solid#but idk if I’m non-binary. I’ve identified as that for so long that perhaps there’s a fear that I’ll be looked down on for ‘detransitioning’#i don’t know what I am. I’m just me. I go by any pronouns and I like a wide range of fictional characters over several genders#unlabeled for the win I guess but also being ‘unlabeled’ has inherented turned into a label. so#I’M JUST AALIYAH SAMMYDEM0N64‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#I don’t think this is a vent I’m being silly with it + plus it’s introspection with mentioned fear. I’m just rambling#lol anyways 😋😋😋😋
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