#i’ll never forgive people for making them almost | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherriegyuu · 11 months ago

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midnight rain | lsm

pairing: seokmin x f!reader genre: angst, smut, a little bit of fluff word count: 17k summary: after seven years away, you finally return home. meeting seokmin again wasn't in your plans, but life wasn't willing to let you have it your way. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, oral, swearing, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this) a/n: this is part of 1k event, it was requested the dearest @ressonancee. but also, it's part of svt ans songs from midnights. i just wrote two in one and something that was supposed to be short became this monster. i hope i wrote seokmin in a way you'll like it. prompt: “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can make me feel like you do." Seokmin ➝ Midnight Rain He was sunshine, I was midnight rain ↳ it was the oldest story in the world, the bright boy fell for the grumpy girl.

Letter #1

Seokmin,

You know, I've always been very proud of not being a very attached person. I've always been proud that I can put myself first and second, because I know I need to do it, because I know that no one else will do it for me. So, when I came here and dropped everything I had, I thought it would be a lot easier than it actually is.

When I turn around in bed at night, after days of trying to get used to the time zone and weeks to the weather and the people here — which are both bad and for completely different reasons, nothing is like in the movies — I always hope to find you there by my side and being able to snuggle up to you like I always did. I wake up in the morning and make enough coffee for two people and take two mugs out of the cupboard, and only then do I realize I'm alone here. I don't need two mugs and I made too much coffee. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I find myself typing your number, which I have memorized despite the fact that no one remembers phone numbers, because phones exist for a reason.

You have no idea how much I miss you and what I would do to be able to hear your voice again. I would do anything, I swear I could. But I know I no longer have that right. I know that what I did is unforgivable and although I want your forgiveness, I hope you never forget what I did to you.

You were still good to me on the last day. You took me to the airport, you said goodbye to me, you hugged me tight like you know I like it and you did your best not to shed a tear in front of me.

Every now and then I catch myself thinking that I messed up. I could have done my master's where we graduated, I didn't need to move to the other side of the world and leave the life I knew behind. But at the same time, I accept it. Coming here was my dream, it was always what I dreamed of even when you were by my side as well. And maybe that's why I never told you about the application, about being approved. Maybe I waited until the end, until the very last second to tell you because I knew you were the only one capable of changing my mind.

When I was by your side, I started to dream of a different life, a life that had you at all times and in all aspects. But, as you may have already noticed, I chose my first dream.

I know I won't regret it. I can't afford to regret it. You’ll become who you always wanted to be and I’ll be there to give you a standing ovation. Not there, next to you, but from afar.

“That was Sunday Morning, by Hong Joshua. Ah, whenever I hear this song I remember my college days. I've said this here a few times, and I think I sound like a broken record by this point, but Joshua and I went to the same college and he was always singing this song in the hallways. Any small gathering between friends he would pull out the guitar and sing. So I'm sorry, but you're going to have to listen to this song at least once a week for the next year. Or until he releases the next one.”

Seokmin looked at the monitor to his right as a pre-recorded commercial for the next show started. The comments were going up too quickly, which made reading them an almost impossible mission.

On the other side of the glass, Chan made a sign indicating that the commercial was over. Seokmin looked at his friend as he lowered one finger after another and finally pointed at him. Chan placed a sheet of paper, which was always used, against the glass, which said “last, chat”. Indicating that he still had one more question to answer.

“We have time for one more question” Seokmin said, opening the internal chat he used with the other radio employees and read the question that Chan had sent “I ended a relationship of almost four years a few months ago, but I still can't understand what happened. I haven't even returned his things yet. How do I get in touch saying I want to return it?”

Seokmin swallowed. He knew that Chan hadn't done it on purpose, that he had no way of knowing everything that had happened between him and you, but he hated how much the question resonated in his head. It was a feeling he shared and for him it had been a little worse because you lived together during your last year of college. So when he entered the house and saw all the furniture, the decorations, your clothes still in the closet, it was like entering a time machine. In that 30 square meter space, for a few minutes, you still hadn't left.

He took a deep breath, away from the microphone so the sound wouldn't be picked, and leaned forward.

“It's a difficult question, really. If it's been a few months and he still hasn't picked his things up, it's because he doesn't need them, so I don't think you should bother contacting him. Hmmm”

He bit his lip and rested his elbows on the table, thinking if he should continue talking or if it would be better to stop there. Seokmin always thought it was better not to let personal feelings show on the radio, but he had moments when he couldn't follow his own rules.

“I can tell you from experience that sometimes silence is better. Because if you know the truth, it could hurt you even more. When I was in a similar situation, after a while I simply discarded the person's belongings. At first, it will be difficult, because you’ll see that shirt you gave as a gift, that letter you wrote and remember what it meant, the moment you gave those things to him. But little by little you will achieve it. Don't feel obligated to just move on when you're not ready. People will always tell you that it's about time, that it's been so many weeks or months. You’re the one who knows about your feelings.”

Chan knocked on the glass again, almost desperate because Seokmin's answer had been too long. It wasn't the first time he had gotten lost in what he was saying and maybe had been talking in circles. It always happened that he remembered you when he answered a question.

And in that specific question he was being a hypocrite because he knew that if he opened his closet, deep inside it, he would find at least two boxes full of your things hidden. He rarely went near those boxes, he liked to pretend they didn't exist and most days he managed to achieve that thought. But there were other days…

“So we come to the end of another Cupid's Corner with Minnie. See you again next week. Cupid’s Corner with Minnie: Unveiling Love’s Melody, One Relationship at a Time!”

Seokmin removed his headphones, stood up, and waved at the cameras he knew were pointed at him. He grabbed his phone and the bottle of water he always carried with him. The red light above the door finally went out and Seokmin left the studio.

Immediately, Chan appeared beside him. He had just gone blond, and it strangely suited him.

He knew the youngest was desperate, not that he was doing a good job of hiding it. The disheveled hair, pointing in all directions, also helped a lot.

“You’re going to have a heart attack if you continue like this” Seokmin said laughing.

Chan was the newest employee, handpicked by Seokmin a few months before. Seokmin needed someone to help him organize the broadcasts after his previous assistant quit because she had gotten a job in the field she had studied. Seokmin even talked to her and offered a higher salary that would come out of his own pocket, but nothing seemed to help. Not that he blamed her, in her place he would have done the same thing. But in the position he was in, changes made him uncomfortable so he did what he could to make sure everything stayed the same.

Maybe it was trauma.

“It’s because they yell at me, not you.”

One of the reasons Seokmin chose Chan as his new assistant was his sincerity. In the middle of the interview he “I think there are things in your program that need to change” and started listing things that he thought were dated or ideas that had been used too much and therefore didn't have the same effect on listeners. The others had found him presumptuous as if he wanted to know more than those who worked at the radio. Seokmin disagreed and that's how Chan got the job.

“They yell at you because you’re the new guy, no one yelled at Jiah”

Chan made a sound in the back of his throat, like a scoff.

“That's because everyone was afraid of her” Seokmin rolled his eyes and reached for the folder Chan was carrying “Oh, right. Tomorrow is your lecture for the communication classes, but they said it is possible that students from other courses will also be there, because it’llll be in the auditorium”

Seokmin nodded, reading the guidelines Chan had made. He needed to admit that he was organized and had absolute control over everything he did. He was sure that if he asked about Wonwoo's program, Chan would know how to answer as if he worked directly with him.

“You know how it is, I have fans” Chan pretended to vomit “If you go tomorrow, we’ll go out to dinner later, I’ll pay”

"Deal"

Seokmin always found it strange to be called to give lectures at the college where he studied. He wasn't a teacher and he didn't think he had done enough to be someone who could give advice to someone. In fact, Seokmin was sure he hadn't done anything big. His life, to put it very simply, was flat. At least, almost all of his life.

Seokmin has always been the type of guy who makes plans and follows through on those plans. When he was sixteen he got it into his head that he wanted to work in radio. It wasn't without reasons, of course. He joined the school radio and despite doing very little, because the school director had to know everything that would be done, even the nouns he would use in the sentence, he fell in love with the idea. That's why he decided he should study journalism in college, that way even if his radio career didn't work out, he would still have a profession.

But his dream was to work on a radio, to have his own program. So that's what he did.

He entered college as planned, sunk into student debt, and graduated exactly as he had planned. In his last semester, he got an internship at the biggest radio station in the country. He was on cloud nine. It was as if he had received the green light in life and everything was on the right track.

At least that's what he thought. At least that was what he had forced himself to believe. The internship became a permanent position and one day he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. That's why he never felt prepared to give anyone advice. Despite having decided on the career he wanted to pursue, he knew that he also needed to count on a little luck and help. The only words he could offer were “you work hard, study, make contacts, and throw the rest into luck’s hands”. It wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear when he was a student looking forward to the future, so he certainly wouldn't say it to anyone.

However, Chan convinced him that it would be a good idea to give the talk.

“You’re going to tell me how you got here, that’s all. An unknown face who quickly went on air to cover someone for one of the most beloved radio broadcasters in the country. I'm sure if you say that shit fell on your head, they'll like it” Chan had said laughing.

Overall the lecture went very well. Better than expected. He answered the questions as honestly as possible and used his best smile to get rid of the more awkward questions.

Despite the good day, he knew he didn't want to repeat the dose anytime soon.

“They want to know if you would be willing to do one of these a semester” Chan whispered because he knew the answer Seokmin would give, so it was better for the students not to hear.

“No” was all Seokmin said “But I’ll still buy you dinner”

Chan punched the air in celebration, catching the eyes of those around him, but he seemed to care very little.

"I just…"

What Seokmin was about to say, an announcement that he needed to go to the bathroom, died in his throat as he looked straight ahead.

Letter #2

Seokmin,

I thought I would be able to adapt faster here. It was very hard in the beginning with transport, getting around in general was very difficult. So I chose a weekend and went walking around the neighborhood where I live. I don't know how long I'll stay here, but I thought I should check it out. Besides, I can wake up in the middle of the night and decide that I want to eat something that I don't have at home, so it's good to know if there are any stores or markets that open in the middle of the night (in this neighborhood there aren't any, maybe that's why I won’t stay here).

I discovered that going out there, although productive, wasn't such a good idea. Nothing wrong happened, I didn't get hit on or someone was rude to me. Quite the contrary, most people pretended they weren't even seeing me. The problem was that everything made me think about you.

I walked by the store that sold a lot of random old things and decided to go in. You know I love filling the house with trinkets. I didn't find anything there that I liked, but I saw that they were selling camera films. For a moment I forgot everything that had happened and all I could think was, I think Seokmin is running out of film, I need to buy more because he will only realize when he doesn't have any left.

I bought it and brought it to the apartment. I opened the door and called your name. It was only later, when I noticed where I was, that it wasn't our apartment, that I realized what I had done.

Even without meaning to, even when I try not to, I find myself looking for you. Everywhere. I go to a restaurant and think about what you would like to eat, I see a dog on the street and I imagine you bending down to pet it. It's not on purpose, I just can't help it. I try, but it's in vain.

I wonder if it will pass. Will this feeling that I succeeded in my career but ruined my personal life disappear or will I feel like this forever — or at least for a good few years?

yn.

It was as if all the air had been ripped from your lungs and there was no way in the world to get you to breathe.

Somehow, some way, Seokmin was standing in front of you, in the middle of the college hallway.

For a moment it was as if you had been transported back in time, to when you were still 22 years old. In another moment you would have simply run up to him and thrown yourself into his arms as if you hadn't spent the whole night clinging to him, as if you hadn't seen each other before classes, as if you hadn't shared the smallest space in the world on the subway for 20 minutes. And your body seemed to remember all of this, like some kind of muscle memory, because you felt like you were being projected forward. Towards him.

You thought Seokmin would talk to you, you were sure he would. But you saw the way his gaze changed, the way it went from complete surprise to a hard look, completely different from anything you had ever seen from him.

In your memory, Seokmin was always brilliant and was always willing to welcome everyone with open arms, even when he felt more shy. You didn’t understand, that look he gave you was completely different from what you imagined could happen.

When you made the decision to return, you knew that there was a possibility of meeting Seokmin, no matter how small it was. You didn't know if he was still friends with the same people, if he still kept in touch with them. You certainly hadn't kept in touch with anyone - except for the two times you talked to Joshua. The possibility existed, but being realistic you knew it was as big as winning the lottery.

Of all the places you thought you could find Seokmin, college was the last one and maybe that was even why you accepted the job. When you were taking the last tests, the ones that would say whether you would graduate at the end of the semester or not, Seokmin was categorical in saying that he would never set foot inside college again. So you thought it was a place he would never go, but there he was. And in your first week, when you needed everything to go well. Not to show that you were ready and that you could do the job, but to reassure yourself that you had made the right choice in accepting the job.

You didn't have time to decide whether to talk to him or not. Seokmin made the decision for both of you. He continued walking as if you weren't there, talking to the boy next to him, laughing. The only indication that he knew who you were was silent once and one that only you could distinguish.

He turned around and left as if nothing had happened.

Was it possible that only you had felt that way? That just your heart had decided it didn't know how to beat, as if a storm was raging inside your body?

You didn't have time to analyze what had just happened. You just forced yourself to take a deep breath and also keep walking as if those brief seconds weren't enough to make your entire world turn completely upside down.

Seokmin dragged his feet into the room, tripping over the rug at the foot of the bed. A curse came out of his mouth, followed by a burp. When he invited Chan to dinner he had no intention of ending the night drunk, being carried home like someone who had just had his first drink.

It had been years since he had gotten that bad and it was comical that the previous occasion was also connected to you.

The memory of leaving you at the airport, on a flight in the middle of the night, was still vivid in Seokmin's mind. Worse than that memory, was the one of you telling him that you had gotten a place in a master's degree on the other side of the world, 18 hours before leaving the country.

“I need to tell you something” you said as he pulled his coat over his head and patted his pockets, making sure he had grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. He needed to leave as quickly as possible, he was already late.

Seokmin had plans to ask you to marry him. He had rented a house where you could spend the weekend, where it would be possible to see the stars. He had prepared himself, but he needed to leave right that second so he would have enough time to go to the house, get everything ready and come back to get you. The owner of the house would help him, since Seokmin decided that he wouldn't tell any of his friends because they might just ruin the surprise.

“I'm already late” he said, quickly looking at his watch. "Did something happen?"

He asked, noticing your already somewhat desperate look. He knew that whatever had happened couldn't be good.

To be honest, he had noticed that something was wrong a few weeks before, and for a while, he decided it would be better not to get into it too much. He knew you well enough to know that you would offer the information when you felt ready to do so. But thinking back on everything, he wished he had asked before, he wished he hadn't given you space, he wished he had forced you to talk to him sooner.

“I passed my master’s degree abroad”

Seokmin’s first reaction was to be happy for you. He knew how much you wanted that, that it was your dream. So he did what any boyfriend would do, he hugged you and congratulated you, told you that you had tried so hard and that they would be idiots not to accept you. The feeling was true and his smile was genuine. He was happy for you.

Knowing what he knew, every now and then Seokmin wondered if he would have done anything differently if he knew what the next words would be out of your mouth. He could have made a fuss, he could have begged you to stay, he could have offered to go with you. But at the time he didn't do any of that.

“I’m leaving today, I need to be at the airport at 11 pm”

Seokmin's ears rang deafeningly. It was as if he had been punched and needed to brace himself against something. The sofa was the closest piece of furniture.

He thought he heard it wrong, he wished he was dreaming, but all he had to do was look at you. It was true. It was as if a puzzle was being completed in Seokmin's mind. The way you had suddenly become distant, how every time he entered the room you hurried to change or close whatever you were looking at on the computer. He didn't even know you signed up. He imagined that you must have done some kind of test, some interview and he didn't even know anything about it.

He had no idea.

Had he been a bad boyfriend, someone who was so focused on making the long-awaited proposal that he had ignored everything else? Or had you hidden it so well that he hadn't noticed?

"What? You’re leaving today?"

It was like the world was spinning too fast and he was trying to keep up with what was happening. It was like being on a roller coaster that kept on falling. He remembered well how the little box with the ring he had carefully chosen weighed in his pocket.

“I didn’t even know you had applied for a position” he whispered, almost just to himself “You didn’t tell me”

And it was at that exact moment, when he looked at you, that Seokmin realized that your relationship was over. You avoided looking at him, your hands were buried deep in the pockets of your coat, which was his. He saw your eyes fill with tears, you swallow hard, and remain silent.

It was unlike you, to stay quiet when you had too many things going through your head. He desperately wanted you to talk to him, to tell him what had been going through your head. He just wanted to understand. Did you believe he would somehow stop you from going? If there was one thing he knew about you, it was the fact that you always put your education first. It wasn't a secret and you didn't want it to be. He just didn't expect things to happen that way.

Seokmin sat in front of the closet, on the floor, and with difficulty opened the doors. Deep in the back, behind several shoe boxes, were two old boxes that he hadn't moved in years. Part of him wished the things inside the boxes were ruined, that they had mold and anything else that could ruin its content. But he had been careful, kept everything in order, taken all necessary precautions, and cleaned the closet periodically.

He ignored the first box and pulled the smaller one towards him, placing it on his bent legs. Seokmin wasn't one to revisit those memories, he liked to keep them as far away from him as possible, but on nights like those, it was impossible.

Seokmin knew what he would find and was sure how he would feel, but he still took the lid off the box, but he didn't dare take out any of the items inside it.

He knew he had reached his lowest point when he was holding on to memories he had of you and not focusing on what was actually happening in his life.

Letter #3

Seokmin,

I talked to Joshua today. Talk is a bit too strong of a word. We exchanged a few words on Instagram. He posted a photo and I liked it, he sent me a DM asking if I was ok and how things were going. I lied, of course. He said everything was fine and he was happy. He didn't talk about you and I didn't ask.

It was very hard to contain myself. I want to know how you are. The more selfish part of my brain wants you to be just as bad as I feel. You know that little demon that sits on our shoulder? He assures me you're even worse. And I hate to think that's the case, but at the same time, I'm sure you're not okay. I know you, we dated for four years, we lived together for almost two years

You were always the more emotional one of the two of us. You were never afraid to show your feelings, not for me or anyone else. You always loved so openly, without any fear. I admit that at first, it scared me a little.

I was an 18-year-old girl who came from a family that had no idea how to show affection, so I was always more reserved in that aspect. And there you were with your beautiful, bright smile, with open arms, affectionate with anyone who came along. I thought you were a crazy person who didn't have the slightest notion of the world. It took a while for me to realize that your world was brighter than mine in ways I couldn't understand.

You were always so untethered, free, showing yourself to anyone who had eyes. When I was closed and more reclusive, you were open and expansive. When I was very shy or reserved, you were more charming and brighter than usual. Not even my worst mood, which seemed endless at times, was a problem for you.

One day you just showed up and decided that you would stay by my side, no matter what. Believe me when I say, I tried to push you away. But with each passing day you were further under my skin.

A kiss at a random party turned into a date at every party, parties became meetings at the college library, which led to coffee dates. One day you decided at the end of each date you had to take me back to the dorms and you kissed me for a long time on the side of the building where no one could see — or at least I made myself believe no one did. Then that alone wasn't enough and you were always with your fingers intertwined with mine, or your arm around my waist. And kisses were no longer reserved for empty streets, of course not. You kissed me anywhere, anytime, no matter who was watching.

You were sneaky, Seokmin.

When I realized it, I was in love with you. Your arms were my refuge. You were my safe space. My home.

yn.

You hated that Seokmin’s reaction, or lack thereof, had gotten to you so much. It was like being punched, and then one more, soon the punch became a beating and to finish with a flourish, it was as if a truck had run over you.

You had plans to go out at the weekend, though alone. Everything was so different, the places you knew no longer existed and friends from the past no longer spoke to you. You would have to rediscover the city without anyone's help. Despite your plans, you couldn't bring yourself to leave the house.

When you decided to return, you knew there would be no way to escape Seokmin. He had become successful not only in his career as a broadcaster but also as a celebrity of sorts. You never imagined you would see his face in magazines or on billboards selling fried chicken. You didn't expect that when you turned on the TV you would see his face in different programs.

In fact, you knew all of that was happening, but somehow you managed to convince yourself that you wouldn't have to see any of it. You managed to make yourself believe that you would not be haunted by his images and voice.

When you were away, you always listened to his programs, more than once each one, but it was almost like a relationship between fan and celebrity. You could separate very well what was him and what was you. But being there, in the same country, in the same city, it was much more difficult to make that separation.

Because once you were back, Seokmin was no longer just the radio host with a show about relationships. Far from it. Seokmin was your college sweetheart, the guy whose heart you broke but who, even after seven years, was still in love with.

That was the reality. you were still in love with him. There was no relationship in the world, no man in the world, that would have made you forget about Seokmin. Sometimes it worked, sometimes you managed to forget about him for a few months and that feeling of loss, of emptiness, that had settled deep inside your heart became smaller and smaller. And then it would come back full on as if it had never left.

Maybe that was your curse, your punishment for leaving behind someone you could have spent the rest of your life with. And somehow you knew you would have been happy. Or at least a different kind of happiness.

After spending the weekend holed up inside your apartment, after convincing yourself that you needed to prepare for teaching classes and unpacking the move, she decided that on Tuesday night she would explore the city.

Exploring wasn't the right word. You had discovered that one of your favorite restaurants still existed, it had just changed location. And, despite being on the other side of the city and being completely aware that you would have to pay a fortune for a taxi or risk taking the subway alone almost at closing time, you decided to go anyway.

You needed to feel like one thing hadn't changed, or at least still be recognizable.

You heard your name being called a few minutes after sitting down. You raised your head, recognizing the voice, but couldn't tell who it belonged to. Directly in front of you was a woman, with short hair, in her fifties.

“It’s really you!”

You stood up and a second later you were being hugged. Maybe you had gone there for that reason, knowing that there would be someone there who would recognize you. Or at least you hoped there was. And when you were welcomed with open arms by her owner, Niah, you wanted to cry for the first time in a long time.

“Hi” was all you could offer, your voice weak.

You quickly turned your face away, trying to be discreet as you wiped away your tears. The last thing you wanted was to cry in front of someone else. Tears were reserved for dark moments in the silence of your apartment, they weren't meant to be seen by people you didn't even know in a crowded restaurant.

“Look how beautiful you look. You haven't been around for so long. Seokmin told us that you had gone abroad to study, but I thought you would come back sooner.”

You just managed to smile, even though it was embarrassing. It was strange to hear his name coming out of someone else's mouth so easily. For years, his name was just an echo in your own mind, almost as if it were a fantasy of yours.

There were days when you managed to convince yourself of this, that Seokmin was nothing more than a dream.

“Are you just visiting or are you back to stay?”

“I'm staying” you said after a second, when you managed to find your voice again “I got a job here, I have nowhere to run”

Niah laughed and hugged you once again, tighter this time.

"Great, that makes me happy. We always miss you” Niah smiled and ran her fingers down your cheeks, brushing away some tears that were stubborn to fall “What do you want to eat? Today it's on the house. Consider it a welcome gift.”

You took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in your throat and the remaining tears.

"What do you recommend?"

The amazing thing about meeting Niah again was that she still acted exactly the same way. She didn't see you as someone who had simply packed a suitcase of clothes and left the country overnight. To Niah you were still that same person from 7 years ago who ate whatever she put in front of. You and Seokmin were always guinea pigs for all the new recipes.

The food was still wonderful, if anything it had just gotten better.

You had a fork halfway to your mouth when you heard the door open, the sound of the bell indicating the entry of a new customer. You almost instinctively turned to look. You choked on your own saliva when your eyes met Seokmin's.

It was as if you were back in the hallway that day. Your heart simply stopped, and the world fell into suspension. For a moment, it was as if you had been transported to the past. You were almost certain that if you looked at the table you would see books open next to the cutlery; you knew that if you looked at Seokmin for another second or two his face would break into the most beautiful smile, he would wave and call your name.

But your illusion shattered into small pieces as his neutral expression contorted into a frown. With the same foot he entered he turned to leave.

“Seokmin!” you called him, getting up from your chair.

Part of you thought he was going to continue out the door, but he stopped. Half of his body was outside the restaurant, the other inside.

“Hurry up and close that door!” Niah said leaving the kitchen “You’re letting out all the heat”

Even with Niah's voice calling him, Seokmin remained standing at the door. You sat back down, but without taking your eyes off him. He didn't know what he expected of him, but he felt an indescribable relief when Niah pulled him by the sleeve of his coat and forced him to sit in front of you.

“The restaurant is packed, so you will have to share a table” she said as she turned her back.

Seokmin shook his head, clearly against sitting there, staying in the restaurant, but he still took off his coat and hung it on the chair before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

It was clear he was working out, his shoulders had gotten broader and his arms bigger since you last saw each other. You almost laughed at the pose, remembering all the times you had seen him in a similar situation. But this wasn't the time to laugh when everything else was screaming that he was uncomfortable with the situation, that he didn't want to be there.

It didn't take a genius to know that Seokmin wanted nothing to do with you. His reaction to seeing you in the hallway the week before and the way he was looking at you in that moment were enough answers.

You felt like the walls were closing in around you and there wasn't enough air in the room.

What were you thinking when you called his name? What were you thinking when you silently watched Niah pull him inside? Why were you still sitting there?

A waiter who worked with Niah passed by your table and you called him discreetly, not wanting to attract the attention of the restaurant owner.

“Can you wrap everything to go, please?” you turned to Seokmin “You can have the table. I was already leaving”

It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

Seokmin laughed lowly, scornfully, his sideways smile making the hair on your arms stand on end. In general, Seokmin has always been the type of guy who didn’t lose his cool easily, who would always rather let things go than have any kind of confrontation. But when he really got stressed out or nervous, it took a while for him to calm down again.

You had seen that storm in his eyes very few times in the years you spent together. The last one was when he went to the airport to say goodbye to you. That day the storm was just confusion and pain, you knew you had done that to him. But he sat there in the restaurant, in front of you, in silence while the people around him chatted animatedly, completely oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

"What it was?" you rolled your eyes.

“Ah, nothing” he said, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture “It’s just like you to do that”

You narrowed your eyes at the same time you felt your cheeks get hot.

"Do what?"

"Runaway"

Letter #4

Seokmin,

It took me almost a year to convince myself that it was okay for me to look at social media. I convinced myself that every woman does this, that every now and then we look at our ex-boyfriend's Instagram, just to find out if his new girlfriend is ugly. I've told you this several times, but every female experience is universal.

I wish you were one of those low profile people, who post a picture every 6 months and it's a cut mango on a pretty plate. I wish you hadn't posted so many pictures. But more than anything, I wish I hadn't spent hours and hours looking at the photos. I wish I hadn't been analyzing every photo of you, I wish I hadn't thought “that's a new mole” and wondered which others had appeared since the last time we saw each other.

I had memorized every mole of yours. On your face, on your arms, on your back. On the worst days, when I missed you in a way that almost made me give up everything and go home, I kept remembering each one of them. I tried to remember the sound of your laugh, your voice, how you stroked my hair until I fell asleep when it wasn't a good day.

I keep wondering if one day this feeling will just go away.

It's been a year since I left. I went out with other guys, and I almost dated one of them, but you're always there in the back of my mind, almost comically because even against my will I can't help but compare them to you. I can't help but think that only you know how I like my coffee, how only you know that if I'm in my worst mood, there's no joke in the world that can make me laugh.

I know it's not fair to them. I gave you the chance to get to know me, I allowed you to get closer. I wanted you to come closer to me. Now I wonder if you're doing this for someone other than me.

I like to imagine that you also compare other women to me, that even now that you're dating I stay there, in the back of your mind, making fun of you.

Unfortunately, she's not ugly, but your smile was brighter when I was next to you.

yn.

To say that Seokmin had spent the rest of the week in an envious mood was an understatement. He was stressed and everyone around him soon noticed the change. He really tried not to let his personal life get in the way of his work. It was something he never struggled with. Work was work, what happened when the lights went out and he left the radio should never cross paths with each other. That week, however, it was impossible.

Meeting you at the restaurant caught him off guard. That day in the college hallway had been difficult, but he managed to just keep walking as if nothing had happened. He liked to pretend like he hadn't gone out with Chan right after and drank like there was no tomorrow, like he hadn't opened the boxes he had kept for years and cried while looking at the photos of the two of you together.

He had gone to the restaurant that day because he needed some form of comfort and didn't want to call any of his friends because he knew he would end up telling them everything that happened and would receive advice and words he would rather not hear. The restaurant was the best idea he had. Or maybe the worst possible one.

Maybe he had done it consciously, because he wanted to see you one more time, and wanted to make sure he hadn't imagined you. It wouldn't have been the first time.

In the first few months after you left, Seokmin got into the habit of visiting places he went with you, or places you liked to go alone. It was probably a form of torture, but he liked to imagine it was a way to forget and overcome the breakup. On several of those days, he believed he saw you. He realistically knew it wasn't you, he clearly remembered seeing you get on the plane and waited until it took off to leave the airport.

The worst thing that could have happened to him was you calling for him. Seokmin couldn't help but wonder if he had always reacted that way to you, if your presence was always so great that before he even saw you he knew you were nearby. That day, as soon as he opened the door, before he even saw you sitting there with your eyes wide open, he knew. He knew you were there.

The last thing he expected from you was you saying his name, as if asking him to sit with you, that Niah, knowing how the relationship had ended, would have made him sit in front of you.

Seokmin noticed your discomfort, the way your spine had become a little straighter, the way your eyes were hard and cautious at the same time. Your reaction made him angry. What right did you have to behave that way, as if you were hurt when all the decisions regarding a relationship both of you were in had been made by you?

You were the one who signed up for a master's degree abroad. It was you who never told him about your decision. It was you who kept everything secret, making him believe that the two of you were on the same page and that despite your different goals, you would be able to pursue them together.

Turns out he was wrong, those dreams were just his and didn't include him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chan asked for the thousandth time.

For the first time in a long time, Seokmin was having a hard time hiding how he really felt. That polished, carefully carved mask had fallen. It was a completely atypical day and everyone was able to notice his sudden change in mood. Even Chan, who normally did a great job of ignoring all the problems around him and focusing solely on his work, seemed to be walking on eggshells around him.

“It’s really obvious, isn’t it?” Seokmin asked in a low voice and Chan just nodded "And if I pretend it's because of the new segment, will anyone believe it?"

Again, Chan nodded. Since he had started the program, 3 years before, Seokmin would receive calls and speak directly to listeners. Although there were always interactions, those were always done through live chat and email when he received questions or stories from people who were not listening to the program when it was airing.

Seokmin wasn't nervous about the idea, he was actually excited. Chan knew this and knew that whatever the problem was, it was still the same as the day of the lecture. He didn't want to ask, and he didn't want to seem invasive, but he still wanted to make sure Seokmin was okay — or at least, well enough to do the program.

“I think everyone is already thinking that” was a lie and even Seokmin knew it, but he was grateful.

“You may already know this, but today we will start a new segment. We'll call it the heart to heart helpline, at least until we find a better name at least” Seokmin's voice and laugh resonated through the taxi “We'll take your calls and some of you will be able to talk to me and ask your questions live, instead of by chat. Each person will have a maximum of 2 minutes and we will answer 6 calls today”

You had left the house completely willing to avoid anything related to Seokmin. Realistically, you knew you couldn't do anything about the billboards and his face at bus stops, but you could very well avoid his radio show. And for a few weeks you had managed to do just that.

That day at the restaurant had almost been a cathartic moment. Somehow, it was as if something had clicked and fallen into place. The Seokmin you left behind no longer existed. It had been a naive thought to think so. You didn't expect that he would still be exactly the same person, of course not. Seven years had passed and Seokmin, like you, was approaching his thirties. Obviously, many things had changed, but you still expected to see traces of that 22-year-old boy you had known and loved.

You didn't spend more than five minutes with him at that table. And it was much more than enough. He had accused you of running away, of continuing to do this for years. Of course, that could be his view on everything, but it was never your intention. The only problem was that you hadn't been able to tell him those things. You had been so lost and so completely helpless in front of him that you had forgotten that you knew how to speak and form sentences.

You had spent years of your life writing letters to him, letters that he would never read, but that was beside the point. You wrote letters as a way to appease the emptiness you felt in your heart. You never, not for a second, thought you were running away. You never wanted to run away, but Seokmin seemed to believe you did.

In a sudden burst of anger, you took your phone out of your bag and dialed the number Seokmin spoke on the radio. You didn't expect your call to go through. In fact, you didn't even know what you expected.

“Please wait a minute, we will connect your call” a non-robotic voice said as you paid for the taxi.

Seokmin was still chatting animatedly with a listener who didn't have a real question, but who “just wanted to say that I really liked your show and that I’m a fan.” It was impossible not to roll your eyes. If she, and everyone else, knew how much of a complete asshole he could be just because he had the opportunity, they would never want to see his face again.

Or maybe they would team up against you in favor of the immaculate Seokmin. God knew how easily a man could turn public opinion in his favor with a beautiful smile. And God was also a witness that Seokmin's smile was simply wonderful, one that took your breath away, one that made you smile along because it was contagious.

“Welcome to the heart to heart helpline” Seokmin’s voice sounded in your ear “What’s your question?”

You didn't really think that your call would get through to Seokmin, you didn't think the signal would be good enough inside the elevator, but none of that seemed to be a problem.

“Hello, can you hear me?” he asked.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You knew you were going really crazy, but you decided to throw caution out the window and be the crazy person everyone used to believe you were.

“Yes, I’m here” you could have sworn, that even over the phone, you felt Seokmin tense up “It’s a question about an old relationship, we broke up years ago, if that’s okay”

You struggled with your keys, trying to unlock the door as quickly as possible. You needed to get to your computer or tablet, whichever was closer. It was almost a physical necessity to see Seokmin's reaction to your voice, your question.

You always knew how to tell if he was truly calm or if he was masking what he was feeling. You wanted to know if you still had any other sort of effect on him. Whatever it was, it was better than angry disdain.

“Old relationships should stay in the past, don’t you think?” he finally said.

You nodded as you ran into your room. You knew you would find the tablet under your pillow — you were sure that if your mother saw it she would say that your brain would explode due to the radiation from the device. With a few taps, you opened the stream of Seokmin's program.

“I think so. But the problem is that we keep seeing each other. I don’t think it’s something either of us want, but it seems inevitable.”

You turned the sound off, you just wanted to focus on his reactions. Seokmin swallowed hard, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes fixed on the microphone in front of him. To anyone, it just seemed like he was concentrating on the call, on what the person on the other end of the line had to say, but you knew very well that it was to hide his reactions.

"Your question?"

“Well, he called me selfish and said I ran away when we broke up, but that's not exactly what happened. I wanted to talk to him, but I don’t think he wants to listen to me.”

Seokmin took a deep breath and seemed to think about what to say next, his eyes no longer on the microphone, but on the ceiling.

“And why does he think that about you? You probably gave him reasons, don't you think? I don’t think anyone would think that about someone without anything having happened.”

“I always dreamed of studying abroad, so when the opportunity came, I went. I…"

“Did you tell him you were going?” Seokmin clenched his fists on the desk, his fingers gripped the pen in his hand tightly until his knuckles were white. “Did you give him a chance to say something or did you just walk away?”

You were speechless, eyes focused only on Seokmin. The way his hair perfectly framed his face, his sculpted thin nose. He was still exactly like he was seven years ago, just somehow different. He was the same, but he also wasn't.

You hadn't given him the chance to say anything, you had just walked away, but because you believed it was the best thing to do. You would have stayed if he had asked, I would have aborted all of your plans for him,

“Long distance relationships don’t work” you said finally, your voice lower “especially when there’s an ocean separating people”

“I'm going to guess and say that you were together for a while because I don't think anyone would care that much about a quick relationship” his voice became more sober, completely in control of his emotions, the opposite of what you felt, like you were enclosed every second that passed “I agree with you, long-distance relationships don’t work. Different cities are already complicated, I can't imagine what it would be like to be with someone who lives in another country. You didn't give many details, but I believe he had reasons to feel that way, just as you had your reasons for leaving without warning. I think the best thing for both of you is to let it fall into oblivion. It makes no sense for either of you to dwell on these feelings. Maybe your desire to talk exists because you think you've left things open with him, but he may think that what's in the past shouldn't be remembered. Maybe you're just a bad relationship he wants to forget.”

Letter #5

Seokmin

I found out by chance that you now have your own radio show. One day it was an empty slot in the schedule and the next it was your voice. To my joy and delight, it was one of those programs that also had video streaming. I say joy and delight in a very ironic way.

But I'm not lying when I say I'm happy for you. You always said it was your dream and in a way, here we are, achieving our dreams. It would have been better if we could have lived through this together, I think. Maybe if that were the case I wouldn't have this empty feeling inside my chest.

But I discovered a long time ago that I can't keep crying over spilled milk. I left and you moved on with your life. They were conscious choices, I knew what I was doing. I knew that making this choice would have hurt both of us, but I also knew that we could overcome it. It's just taking longer than expected. I honestly thought that by this point, so many years later, we would have been able to live as if the past were just that, the past.

But it's not like that for me or for you.

I may be completely crazy, but your show is about love advice and how to deal with heartbreak. Sometimes, when I hear you talk, I'm sure you've already dealt with all your feelings, after all, you've had other girlfriends. But there are other moments, when you answer a question or when you read one of the pre-written texts when I'm sure that what you said applies directly to what we both had.

I'm going crazy, aren't I?

It's been four years since I left. I already finished my master's degree and started my PhD, exactly as planned. I have a date tonight with a guy who seems genuinely nice, but here I am, writing yet another letter that will never be sent to the guy I was in love with.

What am I still doing?

Seokmin had always believed that for a relationship to truly end there must be no trace of it anywhere. When he told his listeners that they should get rid of items, it was not a lie. He was just terrible at following his own advice. The old story of do as I say, not as I do.

Finally, he decided it was time to take his own advice. With a little pain and resentment added to the mix, of course. At this point, he wondered if he could already be considered a masochist or if he still had a few boxes to tick to get the title.

Getting your address had been easier than expected. All he had to do was ask Niah, who offered the information without any resistance.

“Being thirty didn't make either of you any smarter,” she said as she leaned across the table and wrote the address on the napkin.

“Almost thirty” he felt the need to correct her, but decided he would ignore the hidden message in her words.

Seokmin never stopped going to Niah's restaurant. It was there that he had cried his sorrows over the cheapest drinks possible, he didn't have the money to pay for the good ones, while Joshua tried to console him. He had never seen Niah so stressed and angry. She hadn't said anything, but you could clearly hear the sound of her cutting the vegetables more aggressively than necessary.

Little by little she became calmer about the situation and started talking about you with the same affection as before. Seokmin always thought she had somehow kept in touch with you, or at least found a way to get your number or a way to contact you. At first, he had been angry, but somehow he believed he didn't have that right. It was only after a year that Seokmin decided to ask and the answer he received was “if I still had contact with her, I would have already screamed at her about disappearing without telling anyone”.

Asking Niah for your address was the only option he had. He refused to go to college, where you worked. He didn't know what would happen, whether you would be friendly with each other or the conversation would end in a shouting match just because. Because after years of no contact and considering the way things ended, it was pretty obvious that resentment could resurface — at least Seokmin had resentment up to his neck and knew that not releasing them all at once required almost inhuman self-control.

He looked at the building one more time before getting out of the car. It was one of those without a doorman. Seokmin knew that if he rang and asked to be let in, the probability of being sent to hell was very high. So he pulled up his cap down and covered as much of his face as he could while he balanced the boxes on his arms.

He stood there like a madman for almost twenty minutes until someone finally left the building. Seokmin felt like he was committing a crime when he slipped through the door before it closed. Even though the feeling was strange he made himself believe it was the only option he had and he really didn't have any bad intentions. He just wanted to return your things and, hopefully, arrange that if you ever met again, you’d simply pretend you don't know each other, instead of talking nonsense to each other.

Seokmin took a deep breath once before knocking on the door. He heard footsteps and a second later the door opened.

When you imagined what your Wednesday night would be like, the only option that crossed your mind was to order a pizza and watch a movie — the random option of Netflix seemed like your best friend and the only possible option because you weren't even able to choose what to watch by yourself.

Not even in your wildest daydreams could you have imagined that Seokmin would show up at your door with two boxes in his hand.

You were partially tempted to close the door on his face, but you knew that doing so would only make the whole situation worse. If Seokmin, who clearly didn't have any good feelings about you, was standing there at your door it was because he had something to say. Or more precisely to hand it over to you, considering the boxes in his arms.

Silently you stepped aside so he had enough room to enter. You wanted to slap yourself for the complete war zone that your living room was in. You were still unpacking the moving boxes, not that you had taken much with you. It was too expensive to send things from one country to another, especially furniture. You had only focused on your clothes and books and a few things you wanted to keep, and that alone was more than you were willing to spend. In addition to the boxes, you had all the things you still had to buy, but you still didn't have the mind to do it.

You had so much going through your head that cleaning the apartment was just another task you wanted to avoid. But it was one that could be left for later. In the few minutes that Seokmin spent there, you wished you had tidied it up, that he hadn't seen how that room represented your life at that moment: a complete mess.

"What are you doing here?" you finally asked when you managed to get your vocal cords to work properly.

Seokmin didn't seem to care about the mess but paid attention to everything else around him.

He placed the boxes on the counter and took off his cap, pressing the brims with his fingertips looking for what to say next. He had rehearsed an almost poetic speech in the car, something about being adults and how your relationship had ended a long time ago, so neither of you should have any regrets left. But the moment you opened the door and looked at him it was as if all the words had simply evaporated from his mind, as if he had never learned to speak in the first place.

It had always been that way with you. Sometimes when he looked at you, even when you were still together, he got lost. He was like a man adrift who had finally found solid land. It was as if he heard a click and the world started to move once again.

One of his favorite things, when you were dating and living together, was being able to come home after an exhausting day and see you sitting on the sofa in the living room, your computer on your lap, while you studied, occasionally shouting profanities at the computer. On those days, Seokmin would simply push the computer away and lay his head on your lap.

“Just five minutes” he used to say with his eyes closed.

You’d laugh, fingers immediately running through his hair, as if it was the most natural movement in the world.

“Who do you want me to insult today? You know my vocabulary is very colorful.”

How many times had he slept in that position, without meaning to, and you had to drag him to bed because “it's comfortable for you, but my legs are numb and you have to take a shower, you won't sleep dirty next to me, sir”.

It was impossible not to wonder where it all went wrong.

“I came to return your things” he pointed at the boxes.

You suppressed the urge to bend down and rummage through the boxes. You wanted to know what he had kept, what he considered important enough to keep for so many years. You knew he no longer lived in the apartment you shared. When you were looking for apartments you saw that that one was up for rent. It was necessary to restrain yourself from choosing it. It wasn't a good apartment, at least not at the time — the photos on the website said the property had undergone renovations two years earlier and had no tenants since. It wasn't big, it barely fit one person, but it was what your extremely limited budget could afford at the time. Somehow you and Seokmin turned that small space into a home full of life. Of love.

In the places where you lived, you bought all kinds of trinkets to fill the space, furniture you didn't need and never used, hoping to imitate, for even a second, the feeling you had in that little 35 square meter apartment.

You never quite managed to do that.

“Thank you” you said sincerely “I thought all my things had gone in the trash”

You laughed and Seokmin squeezed the back of his head and pointed at the boxes.

“I sold what I could, I didn't want to put it in storage because I really thought we would never see each other again. The money is in an envelope”

“Why did you keep all this?” the words came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself “You should have thrown it away or, since you sold it, you should have spent the money”

Seokmin had asked himself that question several times before, sober or not, and he never had an answer. After a while, he simply stopped questioning and accepted it as something he had to do, to have some kind of sanity. It didn’t. Knowing that those boxes were inside his wardrobe, having to go through them the two times he moved, only brought back memories that he would like to forget.

Ever since you had seen each other again for the first time, memories that Seokmin had struggled to bury came to the surface as if they had just happened. He started to dream about you, dreams that range from memories to things that never actually happened, he started to wonder if it would be okay to talk with someone. His brain always screamed NO, so he was stuck just dreaming.

“I don’t have a good enough reason. It is what it is, I guess,” he said.

The last time Seokmin felt so embarrassed around you was right when you met and even then it only lasted a few minutes. The 18 year old Seokmin was much braver than the 29 year old man in front of him.

That boy, without any guilt or remorse, would have asked every question that could cross his mind. You’d say “your mind is beautiful, it even echoes sometimes”. Seokmin wanted to still have some of that boy's strength. Maybe that was the only way to know what he wanted. He wouldn't ask and he knew you wouldn't offer the information to him without being pressured.

“I think in the end, we both got what we wanted.”

You realized you said the wrong thing when you looked at Seokmin’s hands. A second before he was clutching his cap until his knuckles turned white, the next his long fingers were still. You didn't want to see the expression on his face. You knew what you’d find. You messed up, but couldn’t take back what you said.

“You got what you wanted” Seokmin corrected you, his voice firm, his tone hard.

“You always wanted to have a radio show”

“No, I wanted you. I could adapt to everything else if it meant I would have you.”

You shook your head. You knew it wasn't true. Hell, even Seokmin knew it wasn’t true. The first time you talked, Seokmin mentioned how much he wanted to be a radio host and have his own show, of any kind. I don't have a preference, I know I can give anything my own colors. You felt envious of his certainty, of the way he knew he could do it.

“The show has always been your dream” you tried again, despite knowing it was in vain to argue with him.

“My dream was to have a life by your side. You never, not once, told me that you signed up to study abroad, you never even mentioned it. When it was time to go you just got on a plane and disappeared. You never even gave me the chance to follow you. I could have been a journalist anywhere in the world”

Seokmin hated the direction of that conversation, hated being so exposed in front of you after so many years. In the past, it wasn't a problem. Before he wanted to be exposed in front of you, he wanted to share everything he was, every aspect of himself with you. No more. The problem was that he couldn't just stop. A gate was opened and there was no way to close it.

“So, what? Would we both be living based on our dreams? Because this is a dream, and you know it very well.”

You clung to the top rail of the chair, your head lolling forward in an almost futile attempt to stop him from seeing the tears forming in your eyes. You knew you couldn't hold them.

You weren't the type of person who cried often, you did what you could to avoid it, but when the tears came it was impossible to simply stop them from falling.

“Yeah, maybe I was really dreaming, because I believed that you loved me in the same proportion, but it’s quite obvious that you didn’t”

Seven years of pent-up frustration couldn't just disappear, he should have known. He should have imagined that going there would be a problem, that being in the same space as you without any kind of interference was a mistake. But he was still there and there was no way to escape. It was better to end everything quickly than to keep those feelings for another seven years in the hopes of one day being able to say something.

Seokmin watched as you went to one of the boxes in the corner of the room and opened it forcefully, tearing the cardboard, and causing some of the contents to slide across the floor. He felt his body freeze as a roll of film stopped at his feet.

“So explain to me, why do I buy a roll of film every time I pass by a store?” you put both hands inside the box and took out several rolls of film, of different brands and models. “Explain to me, why have I followed your career all this time and never missed a damn show in the last 3 years? Why would I wake up in the middle of the night to watch the broadcast and then listen to the show again while going to work because I just wanted to hear your voice?”

You walked to another box, but you opened this one a little more carefully as if wanting to protect the contents.

“Why did I spend 7 years writing letters that would never be read to a guy I never loved?”

You threw several envelopes at Seokmin’s chest. Your face and body shook out of anger or another feeling he couldn't quite tell.

Seokmin bent down to pick up one of the envelopes from the floor. His name was written in your careful handwriting. He didn't need to look at all the other ones to know that they were also addressed to him. He didn't know how many letters were scattered on the floor, or if there were any left in the box. The only thing he was sure of was that he had no idea how to proceed.

“If that doesn’t say I loved you, if that doesn’t say I still love you, I don’t know what the fuck does.”

Seokmin saw the first tear run down your face and fell silent. He knew he should turn his back, he knew he should walk away, just like you did seven years before. Instead, he took four steps in your direction, his eyes never left your heaving chest and the tears that ran freely over your cheeks.

At that moment he knew that he only had two options: he could turn around and leave, he gave you back your things that alone made his plan a success; or he could kiss you like he had been wanting to since the moment he saw you again.

To hell with his plan.

Seokmin held your face in his hands and pulled you to him, crashing his lips on yours. It was an all too new feeling but also familiar, almost like coming to a remodeled home. It was him and it was you, if only it was just that simple.

You sighed into him, your arms wrapping around his slim waist while your hand balled a fist full of his shirt. There were so many moments where you wished you could be right in that spot, again in his arms. Dreams and daydreams, wishful thinking, whatever you could call it. Thoughts of Seokmin had always been a constant in your mind. It was impossible not to compare other people you went out with to him.

Your longest relationship had been one of almost a full year. Although the beginning had been good and easy, with you somehow managing to avoid any and all Seokmin related dreams and thoughts, it turned sour the second he crossed your mind.

“Seokmin, I…”

He shook his head and pressed his forehead to yours, eyes so intense that it was difficult to keep looking at him.

“Let’s not overthink it, okay?” was all he said.

You held his face for a couple, searching for something in his features, anything at all, that could indicate that the moment wasn’t for that. But all you saw in him was the same emotions you felt, the same need and desire.

You pulled Seokmin to you again, this time hungrier, your chest pressed to his. Your mind was loud telling you all the reasons why you shouldn’t be doing that, why having him so close to you was truly the most dangerous situation you could possibly put yourself in. But all of those voices, all of those words and thoughts were silenced the moment he kissed you again.

His lips were hungry, demanding all of you. And it was so easy to just give in to him, to his hands roaming on your body, down your back until he reached your ass. He gave it a light squeeze and ran his hand back up again, this time under your shirt. You moaned softly at the contact of his skin on yours, as he kissed your neck, bitting on the exact same spot he found years before.

He smiled over your skin.

“At least this hasn’t changed”

It was all too much but not nearly enough. Just having him that close to you was dizzying enough but him touching you and enjoying the fact that you were just as weak for him at twenty nine made you never want to let go of him again.

“Where’s your room?”

You took Seokmin by the hand, guiding him through the narrow corridor.

Your room was barely a room to begin with. You had no furniture except for the mattress lying on the floor, your clothes were either on the suitcase or on the chair on the side.

“This is unlike you” Seokmin said, his chest pressed to your back while he nibbled on the skin of your neck.

“I… hm… I” you sturred a little when he bit into a particularly sensitive spot, making him chuckle “I’m waiting on delivery”

Seokmin turned you around in his arms while lightly pushing you down on the mattress. His eyes never left yours as he ran his hand under your shirt, moving the fabric up until your chest was exposed.

It had been so long since you had been with anyone, it was almost like a reflex to want to pull your shirt back down. Since him, it had been hard to just let yourself be exposed to someone like that. You had become awfully aware of your body and things you never cared for or paid attention to before suddenly became worries. You didn't like that insecure version of yourself but when Seokmin cupped your breast in his hand his touch was almost solemn.

It was probably the worst timing in the world when you felt tears burn on the back of your eyes. You pulled his face to yours again, trying to hide your tears from him once again.

Suddenly, his touch was tender when he pushed a few strands of hair away from your face, his fingers careful.

Seokmin moved down on your body. When you saw his fingers on the waistband of shorts you lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him move the fabric down quicker.

He kissed your hips and inner thigh. You moaned in anticipation, your hand taking a fist full of his soft hair. When his lips finally found your clit it was like fireworks erupted behind your closed eyelids.

Seokmin was impossibly hard in his pants, embarrassingly so like he was a teenager having his first time.

He never thought that he would have you in his arms again and yet there you were in front of him, no reservations. Just for him. And for a moment it was like his brain was in short circuit, the small electric waves running all over his body, down to his toes.

He licked a path from your cunt to your clit. He went down on you almost in desperation, his nose brushing on your clit every now and then.

"Seokmin..." his name was barely a whisper in your lips, but it was also a chant.

Your orgasm hits you quickly, leaving you short of air and with shaky legs. You were spiraling in the most enticing way possible. It didn't stop Seokmin though as he kept sucking you frantically.

You tugged on his hair, pulling him up and to you again.

I love you, the words almost fell out of your lips. It would have been so easy to just say them, to be open about your feelings just this once.

Deep down you knew that that moment would be a one time kind of thing. It was just the kind of moment people sometimes needed to just completely let go of everything. Or in this case, nothing. It was to let go of seven years of complete nothingness and silence.

You opened the button of his jeans and pushed it down, his boxers following along. You wrapped your hand around his cock, pumping him a couple of times. Realization suddenly came over you. You never expected Seokmin to show up to your place, much less that it would lead to that moment, and there wasn't anyone else in your life, so you weren't ready for it.

"I don't have a condom" you said breathlessly.

Seokmin looked lost for a second, his brain going to his wallet, questioning whether or not he had one in him.

"I can pull out," he said "if that's okay"

All you did was nod and Seokmin aligned himself with your hole. He pushed in slowly, savoring each moment when your pussy pulled him in until there was no space between the two of you.

Seokmin kissed you again to give himself time to adjust to you squeezing him. You held his face close to yours, in your eyes a mix of emotions he didn't want to understand. Not in that moment at least.

"I don't want anyone else," you said looking into his eyes, your thumb running over his bottom lip "No one else can make me feel the way you do"

To hell with care and self-preservation. You let go of those the moment you opened the door for him, the moment you let him into your home, the moment you didn't push him away when he kissed you.

Seokmin fucks you slowly, his pace torturous as you beg and beg for more. He intertwined his fingers with yours and held one of your hands above your head while the other one held your hips in place.

"Seokmin... harder"

And it's like a switch has gone off inside his brain. His once slow pace becomes shallow. The sound of your breaths and his skin slapping against yours were the only ones heard, echoing through the empty room.

Your orgasm sneaks up on you, catching you so off guard you scream because it's too much.

You pushed Seokmin away and watched in ecstasy as he wrapped his hand around his cock, his hand working fast as your name left his lips when his release fell on the sheet by your side.

Seokmin dropped his body over yours again, his forehead on your shoulder. You closed your eyes and ran your hand over his hair.

"I love you" you allowed yourself to say, even if it meant nothing to him.

Letter #6

Seokmin,

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm coming home. Or the closest thing I still have to a home. Needless to say, my mother is happy with the news. She's been tormenting me for years, asking me to come back, but since I set foot here I decided I wasn't going back.

I wanted to, but I wouldn't go back.

Every time I thought about going back, the first thing that came into my head was the last image I had of you. Your teary eyes wishing me a safe flight, saying I love you and hope you accomplish everything you want. I regretted it the moment I gave my things away and handed my passport into the hand of the airline girl. I should have come back, I should have given up, but I couldn't. That old story of putting myself first and second, you know how it goes. In this case, my entire top 10 was just different versions of me.

I think I actually felt scared because as time went by, little by little without me realizing it right away, you became a very big part of my life. A part that could change everything. I felt like I depended on you too much. It wasn't fair to you or me.

We were only 22, Seokmin. When we were so young, we thought that life was conquered and today I know that is not the case. Far from it. At 22 I had a degree and worked part-time at a cafe to pay the bills, just like you.

You might think I'm selfish, I'm sure you do based on the things you say on your show. I was selfish and on some level, I don't regret it. I did what I always planned to do, what I always wanted to do. And now I'm coming home.

Part of me wants to run and find you, explain why I made the decisions I did, why I never told you. But I know you won't want to listen to me. I wouldn't want to listen to me either. Why would I listen to someone who left just like that? It really wouldn't make sense.

But another part, this one a little more rational, says that I shouldn't throw salt into the wound after so many years have gone by. I have the scar here, hidden enough for no one to see, but prominent enough for me to remember what I did every single day.

I think that's what I'm going to do. I think that's what I have to do. It wouldn't be fair to just show up in front of you and say “hi, I'm back” after seven years.

You have become a big “what if” for me. What if I had stayed? Would we have stayed together or would our relationship have ended years ago? What if I had told you what I was doing while I was doing it? Would you have asked me to stay? What if I had given the possibility of a long-distance relationship? Would we have worked out or would you start to resent me for leaving and end up hurting each other anyway?

The most absurd thing is that I still like you, I'm still in love with you. I've always heard that distance makes love end or something like that. I haven't seen you in seven years, I don't know what's going on in your life — you're really good at hiding everything being a celebrity now — so it doesn't make any sense that my feelings haven't changed even after all this time. This guy I see online might not be the Seokmin I fell in love with, just like I'm not the same person you remember.

Every time I hear your voice I still feel butterflies in my stomach. I sleep and dream about you. When I wake up I think about you and I wonder if you think about me too. It is not normal. It's not healthy. Life went on and I think it is our obligation to move forward together. We are not a museum to only feed on the past.

Let's continue as we are now, what do you think? We will once again be in the same country, in the same city, but I think it's best for both of us to pretend that nothing will change. It's a huge city, what are the chances of us meeting?

Before you even opened your eyes, you already knew what you would find. Or who you wouldn't find. You knew the space next to you on the mattress would be empty. You had noticed the exact moment Seokmin had gotten up, but you forced yourself to believe that he had just gone to the bathroom. You had kept your eyes closed and had somehow gone back to sleep.

You had been naive to think that the night had changed something, that the way everything seemed like it would be fine was an indication that things had finally gotten back on track. If any, the train simply ended up derailing.

When Seokmin kissed you it was magical, no matter how cliché and teenage it may sound. It was as if the world had fallen into place again, as if you had finally returned home after being away for so long. You couldn't help but wonder if that was why you'd taken the job, in the foolish, unconscious hope that there might be a chance, however slight, of being with him again.

You forced yourself to sit up and pulled the sheet up to cover your naked body. The shirt and shorts you wore the night before were next to you on the floor, but you refused to wear those clothes, opting to rummage through the boxes in the corner of the room looking for clean ones.

You didn't want to go to the living room, didn't want to be mocked by the two boxes that Seokmin had left on the counter, but you couldn't help it. It was as if your feet had a life of their own. When you realized it, you were already sitting on the living room floor with the two boxes in front of you.

You momentarily decided to ignore the smaller black box and pulled the large one closer. The first thing you saw was the envelope Seokmin mentioned the night before. Money, especially the one in the envelope, wasn't something you were going to worry about. You didn't care about it, you didn't lie when you told him that he should have spent it. That money would remain untouched.

There were also a few books you read and made annotations on, two stuffed animals, and all the picture frames you had left behind.

One of the things you regretted the most was not taking with you when you left were photos of you and Seokmin. You had only taken one, which was folded inside your wallet. It was already so old and worn out that it had almost turned to dust, but you would never get it out. It was you and Seokmin at Niah's old restaurant, he was smiling at the camera while you looked at him. It was your favorite picture.

At the bottom of the box was the camera you had given Seokmin as a birthday present a few months before you left. You had saved whatever money you could for months to buy him the camera he wanted, one that he always talked about and whenever you passed by a store you stood outside looking at it, almost as if it would magically appear in his hands.

You understood his reasons for leaving the camera there — or, at least, the reasons you could imagine—but you wished he had kept using it. Not because it was a gift from you, but because it was something he wanted. His smile was so big when you gave it to him, the tip of his nose slightly pointed down because of it.

Carefully you put everything back inside and put it aside.

The smaller box, for some reason, was scary. It was light and black, and you could hear its contents moving as you held it in your hands. You took one last deep breath and removed the lid.

Inside were photos you had never seen before. Photos of you alone, Seokmin wasn't in any of them. In none of them were you posing or smiling directly at the camera.

Most of them had been taken from a distance, without you noticing. In some you were inside the cafe where you worked, smiling at customers and serving tables, in others you were simply walking down the street, looking through window shops and pointing at something. Seokmin had taken countless photos of you without you even realizing it.

It was strange to see yourself through his eyes, even if it was a version of you that no longer existed. A much younger and more optimistic version. Did I smile that much? you couldn't help but ask. You never saw yourself as particularly optimistic or constantly smiling. You were happy, that's undeniable, but you didn't know that's how people saw you.

There were so many photos, from completely different moments, both from the beginning of your relationship with Seokmin, and from all the phases you went through together.

Behind the pictures were the post-its that you left around the apartment, reminding Seokmin of somewhere you had together or simply saying that you loved him. So many had a simple “I love you” written on them, others said “have a good day today!”.

You had no idea he had kept them. You always thought that once read, they were discarded, but there they were, intact as if you had just written them.

The very first one you had ever written, when you had just started dating, was also there. At the time, unlike Seokmin who never had a hard time expressing how he felt, it was almost impossible for you to be openly honest. So you wrote it on a post-it and stuck it inside one of his notebooks. He had shown up at the dorm a few hours after you left the library.

“Say it again, but this time looking at me”

You frowned, pretending you didn't understand.

“Your nose is beautiful”

You laughed when Seokmin wrapped his arms around you, squeezing a little, trapping your arms close to your body. His face was very close to yours.

“What you wrote in the note” he said softly, his cheek pressed against yours “Say it again, please”

The truth was that you had loved Seokmin, in a way you didn't believe was possible and maybe that was why you spent the last seven years writing letters to him.

Seokmin never left your mind, not truly. There was always a desire, even if veiled, to return home, to find out how he was, to just say “I know I messed up, I’m sorry”.

It was that desire that made your entire body go cold as you took one last item out of the box. A smaller box that fit in the palm of your hand. You knew what it was before you even opened it and opening it was the worst choice at that moment. Your heart, which was already broken, somehow managed to break even more, into a billion, shiny, new pieces.

Seokmin would have proposed if you hadn't left.

When the first sob echoed through the living room, you didn't try to hold it back, you just accepted the feeling of being absolutely lost and heartbroken.

The weather outside the building seemed to mimic the way you had felt in the last few weeks, torrential rain that had no end in sight. You watched the news hoping for an improvement, hoping that the rain would stop for at least a few hours, but it seemed like a distant dream.

All your students were already gone and there was nothing left for you to do. The handed in assignments were graded and the tests were ready to be applied the following week. You had never hated yourself so much for simply doing your job. You wanted to be, at least for that day, like other teachers who left corrections until the last possible second and left students desperate for their grades.

The hallway was in complete silence, a clear sign that everyone had left already. And you had already waited hours for the rain to stop, until the sky was completely dark, and if anything the rain had only gotten worse.

You sighed and picked up your bag from the chair. You wouldn't risk taking any books, papers, or documents home, the possibility of everything getting ruined was too big. Besides, you needed a rest, at that point it was well deserved.

Ever since you had opened the boxes Seokmin left behind, you had immersed yourself in work in every way possible. You had accepted all of the dean's requests and even offered to teach extra classes whenever there was a missing professor.

And even so, even though you had more work than you wanted, you still found time to look at all of his social media. You still listened to all his programs, even listened to the old ones before going to sleep.

It was almost like a form of elaborate torture done solely and exclusively with you in mind. And worst of all, it was self-inflicted. It was as if your brain liked it, begged for it.

The box with the engagement ring was next to your pseudo bed. It was the last thing you saw before going to sleep and the first thing you saw when you woke up. Instead of spending hours on your phone, you sat there, staring at the small box.

You hadn't dared to open it again. You had never felt so lost as you did that day, looking at that ring.

You wouldn't be a hypocrite to say that you had never imagined your life if you had married Seokmin, but before it was nothing more than a daydream. The ring made that dream an attainable reality. It had been in your hands and you just walked away.

A curse left your lips when you noticed that the umbrella you had used that morning was missing from the umbrella holder next to the door.

“Great, that’s exactly what I needed” you muttered, slamming the door shut behind you.

You were tired, exhausted to tell the truth. All you wanted was to get home, take a shower, and watch some relationship reality show, to escape the tragedy that was your own love life.

You closed your eyes and sighed as you reached the entrance. The next bus stop or subway station was at least a 15 minute walk away. That was a problem that existed when you went to school there, everything was far away. One would think that they would do something to improve that, but one would be wrong.

You thought about taking shelter in the nearest coffee shop, but you knew it was almost closing time. You wouldn't be the person who forces employees to stay late, not when you had worked at that exact coffee shop years ago.

Even with your heavy coat covering most of your body, the rain was cold on your back and it was hard to see anything ahead, even if it was just a few steps away. Even the sound of cars was muffled by the rain.

“yn?” a car was on your left, and it was moving at the same speed as you. The face of whoever was behind the wheel was blurred by the rain, but you would have recognized that voice anywhere in the world.

“Let me give you a ride”

You shook your head. The last thing you should do was get in the car with him. It was too dangerous, you were sure that if you looked at him for more than a second you’d start crying. Just by hearing his voice your eyes were burning and a lump was forming in your throat.

“It’s fine, the bus stop is right there”

“There was an accident back there, the bus won’t be here anytime soon”

You grumbled. Of course, there was an accident, of course, there wouldn't be a bus and with your luck, the subway would probably be closed too.

"If your car went through the accident, a taxi will too”

You quickened your pace, not because of the rain, but because you wanted to get away from him. You needed to get away from him.

“Jesus, yn, just get in the car. You’re going to get sick”

You pretended you didn't hear what he said and kept walking, face down – trying to escape both the rain and him. The first tear fell from your eyes. For the first time in days, you were grateful for the rain, because you could pretend it was just water and not a visual representation of your broken heart on your cheeks.

Seokmin stopped the car right there, in the middle of the street. He didn't care if someone was standing behind him honking like crazy — something that was bound to happen.

When he left your apartment that day he felt like he was 22 again, but this time he was the one leaving.

Hearing that you loved him was everything he had wanted, but the timing was strangely right and wrong, both at the same time.

Both of you screamed, shouted, and said what you wanted to say — or at least part of what you wanted to say. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, at the same time a new one was placed on it.

After you fell asleep in his arms, the only thing Seokmin could think about were the letters scattered across the living room floor. There were so many. He couldn't believe you had spent all those years writing letters to him.

He needed to read them all. He would have done it in the living room, but he didn't know what awaited him, so he collected them all from the floor and a few more that had been left in the box and left.

He read the first one in the car, he couldn't wait until he got home.

Seokmin cried right there, the same way he cried when you left. Inconsolable. His heart broke and healed in equal measure with every word of yours he read.

Seokmin always believed that you left like that, without a single word, because you didn't like him that much, because you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Not that he thought the entire relationship had been a lie, but he thought that somehow the love had ended. It happened to everyone, the probability of it happening to him was also high.

The truth could not be different. There wasn't a letter in which you didn't say you loved him, not always in those words, but he knew you well enough to know that was what you said.

After reading all the letters, Seokmin called Joshua. He cried on the phone with his friend and then once again when he showed up at his place with bad beer and takeout food. “Since we’re going to talk about our college days, I think we should do the same thing we did back then” was all he said.

Seokmin was on his way to you when he saw you walking without an umbrella. He wanted to talk to you, to know if even after so long you still wanted to try with him one more time. It was better to try than to always wonder what could have been.

“I read your letters!” he shouted louder than the rain.

His words were enough to make you stop walking, but you still didn't turn to face him. It was too hard to breathe. Your chest rose and fell irregularly each time you tried to pull the air in.

You knew Seokmin had taken the letters. Part of you knew he would read them, but the last thing you expected was for him to want to talk about them.

“I know” you said when he approached “I saw they were gone, and you were the only person who came by”

“Do you know why I accepted to host a love advice show? Besides it being something I've always wanted, of course” he didn't give you time to answer “Because a part of me wanted you to listen, to know that I was okay, even if it was a lie. I thought that if I talked about it on a show that had used the nickname you gave me, you’d regret it. I thought that I should make you regret it because it was the only way I could still think about you without looking like a fool after so long. I thought you didn’t care, that you had left because you didn’t like me anymore, so making you regret your decision was the only option I had”

You shook your head. It wasn't true, not by a long shot.

“I'm sorry” you said softly “I should have told you what I was doing, that I had applied for the and got in. I thought it was my only option. It was so stupid. I was so stupid”

Seokmin laughed a little, fingers running under your eyes. A second later he pressed his lips over yours.

“I know, I read your letters”

Seokmin,

It's been a good few years since I wrote you a letter. After a while, I didn't think I needed it anymore because I started saying everything I wanted, everything I felt, looking at you. Of course, this new arrangement has its demerits, as the paper and pen don't look at me like a lost puppy. But paper and pen don't kiss me either, so it has its bonus.

I thought when I came home four years ago, I would never see you again. I thought you would just be the guy who has a radio show that I would listen to every now and then. I didn't expect to see you my first week back and again and, well, again.

As you probably know, I've never been a big fan of rainy days. I always preferred sunny days because those were the days I woke up ready to face the world. I felt better overall. But also because they reminded me of you. You know, when the sun appears after gray days? For me, you were always like that. Grand and brilliant.

But after that day, I started to like rainy days too because they started to be full of the two of us. Rain was no longer synonymous of an unproductive day, but rather of the memory of our fresh start.

You know this, we've talked about it a few times, but I spent a few months waiting for it to sink in. Sort of expecting that one day I would wake up and it would all be a dream. It was hard for both of us, I know. It was seven years of hurt and resentment and we had to navigate this uncertain sea without a map. Nobody teaches you how to do this, believe me, I looked. I found countless books on how to start dating, how to save a relationship, and how to get over a relationship. The problem is that none of them teach you how to rekindle a relationship after seven years apart, but during those seven years one of the parties wrote letters and the other had a program just to mourn the sorrows of the relationship.

I've read several, so you can trust what I say on this.

It really wasn't easy, but I think we came out better, stronger, in some way.

I love you and I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of our lives. Our forever begins today, in a little while. So stop crying, put ice on your eyes to help the swelling go down, and go to the aisle because I miss you already.

I love you.

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avidfics · 11 months ago

Text

Bully Sevika x reader

summary: In high school you had the biggest crush Sevika and in return she bullied you for years. Now in college you just wanted your distance but Sevika won't let you leave

warnings: nsfw, toxic sevika, slight humiliation, fingering, and some cuddles :)

Your palms kept sweating. For the fifth time this night you wiped them on your tiny jean skirt as you mustered the courage to step into the sorority house that was already in full swing of a party. The music bass was felt all the way to the front lawn where you anxiously stood in place, observing party goers completely at ease - if not a bit drunk - enjoying themselves. Opposed to you who felt totally out of place and uncomfortable. Your shoes scuttle against the sidewalk as you begin to turn away to leave when your name is sung over the chaos of the night.

A warm, friendly hand grabs yours, turning you back to the house. Your first and only college friend's face is beaming at you with hazy eyes and smiling in a carefree way that can only be achieved with cheap liquor. “If you leave I’ll never forgive you.” she joked, dragging you away from your beloved sidewalk and into the house, immersed in the crowd of sticky bodies.

You both maneuver to the kitchen. Your friend hands you an unopened can of beer. “That’s going to taste like warm pee but drink it anyway. I know you get nervous around new people because of your high school days but you’re no longer there. You deserve to have a freaking good time”

You smile and repeat those words, “I deserve to have a good time.” Yet, as the warm liquid hits your lips the words seem to float away, as if they didn’t carry any weight. Even though you were a grown college student, in your heart you were still that lame, timid high schooler under the thumb of your always present bully. The girl’s name sent a shiver through your body.

Sevika.

The fact that you were once infatuated with her was now almost humorous. Once upon a time, you were just a doe-eyed junior high student spying on the infamous 8th grader as she played basketball with the boys. Unlike your demure nature, she was crass, rough, and walked with a heavy gait that didn’t question her right to be wherever she existed. She spotted you, peaking through the bleaches, and snickered. Two fingers flagged you over and you trotted over to her as if pulled by a powerful invisible string. For the next hour she ignored the boys, as her undivided attention was spent teaching you how to dribble. “How long you been spying on me? You like me or somethan.” her mocking voice cut through the boys laughter and made your face flame at the attention even as you mumbled your feeble denial.

“You hear that guys?” she yelled. “Little mouse has a crush on me.” At the time, you remember how warm your heart felt as you gave her an impish smile. Too idiotic to realize she was making fun of you. And that would be the nicest she’d ever be to you.

Once you entered high school, something switched. Any tender affection you had offered to Sevika, she took and crumbled within her fist. The whole neighborhood understood that you were nothing more than sevika’s toy. Every day brought on an onslaught of bullying as she’d call you names, made you carry her books and sports equipment behind her like a lackey, publicly humiliated you, and isolated anyone who dared to befriend you.

Hundred of miles separated you from Sevika, and yet, her shadow followed you. Taking another swing of the warm beer, you decide to not let clouds of her abuse ruin your present life. “Let’s have some fun!” No other encouragement was needed as your friend took your hand and immersed you into the moving bodies swaying to the music. Hands grip your waist from behind, and a quick glance revealed a pretty girl with a nice smile. A buzzing bud of interest lights your lower belly and you commence sensually swaying your hips in her grasp. A small thought in the back of your head teases that her touch is lacking in comparison to Sevika’s.

Your friend turns around and shout, “Lets head downstairs. I hear that’s where all the hot upperclassman hang out.” The new girl behind you chuckles. “I suppose that’s true. My friends are down there.” Her hand drags you away from the dancing bodies. “I’ll introduce you guys.” A delighted squeal leaves your friend as she follows.

Truthfully you had no interest in meeting hot upperclassmen. A pair of mocking dark eyes flash in your mind. You took another swing of your beer. Needing the fuzzy feeling to intensify your mellow feelings of attraction for the sweet girl in front of you.

The basement was dim and thick with the smell of weed. Here you could see the girl more clearly. She was attractive, but all your bleary eyes pointed out was how she lacked the qualities of a certain bully.

“Like something you see?” her words coaxed you closer to her warm body. “Maybe.” you laughed and took a step closer, in hopes to finally reclaim your sanity, you gently planted two hands on her cheeks and pressed a slow kiss to her lips. Yet as you closed your eyes, you couldn’t help imagining you were kissing the girl that drove you crazy from miles away…. In fact, if you listened closely, you could’ve sworn the raspy voice was present in the same room.

“Mouse?”

The world came to a halt. The foreign lips continued to press against yours, not realizing your body was frozen in place. The boisterous laughter that demands attention from everyone in the room confirms your greatest fear. The girl keeps her hands planted on your waist as she turns with the rest of the room to a dark corner of the room where a group of upperclassmen lounged against a torn mattress. And in the middle, taking up much room with her corded arms propped up against the couch and jean-clad legs spread indecently wide, sat Sevika. Eyes trained on you with a salacious smile on her lips as if she just spotted her favorite prey.

And despite yourself, you felt like prey under the fierce stare of Sevika. Her reputation must’ve already made its way on campus because tension held the entire room in nervous anticipation.

“My little mouse is at a party?” Her mocking voice carries across the room. “I wanted to surprise you but had no idea my timid girl would be at a party.” Her words dangle in the air. Her eyes flicker to the girl next to you whose hands now felt like a hot brand against your waist. A familiar hardened look flashes across her hooded eyes. “Looks like my little mouse has grown up.”

“Erin.” The name is like a whip across the room. The girl you were just kissing jumps, startled by the sudden attention. A nervous gulp is audible as she receives the full force of Sevika’s attention. “Seems you’ve welcomed my girl to campus.” Your lips burn at the reminder. “Don’t stop on my account. Shit, keep going. I’ll even allow you to sit on the bench for the rest of the basketball season so you and my girl have plenty of time to get acquainted.”

The mystery girl snatches her hands off your waist and stuffs them in her pocket. “Sorry” is mouthed from her lips as she backpedals and runs up the stairs out of the basement.

Embarrassment engulfs your entire being as you’re left standing alone.

“Was it something I said?” People all around you laugh along to Sevika’s joke. “Luckily, I’m a lot nicer than our benchwarmer. Come here.” Two fingers beacon you over just like how this all started years ago.

All that work you’ve done to repair your confidence and self-respect shrink with every minute you spend in Sevika’s all consuming presence. Because no matter how much you hated her, every molecule in your body craved her affection with a fierceness that was frankly frightening.

She had bullied you, humiliated you, and made your high school years a living hell and yet when she left for college you missed her for every day she was gone.

Your knees trembled as you stepped forward to where she sat. A hand from behind grabs your elbow, halting your steps. Your friend’s worried eyes plead with you. “Don’t go. She’s no longer in control.” It’s your turn to apologize as you give her a weak smile. “She’s always been in control. I’m fine so just go. I’ll see you in class.” You peek at Sevika and see her jaw clenched. If your friend didn’t leave soon she would start her year off on Sevika’s shit list.

The faint sound of your friend’s retreating footsteps multiples the shame weighing against your head. Even worse was the eyes tracking your humiliating defeat as you hang your head down. Finally your shoes touch the toe of her leather boots. Those two damn fingers catch your eye as they tap her thick thigh.

There was zero hesitance as you complied like a dutiful toy and stepped in between her legs and quietly propped yourself slightly on her thigh.

A sharp scoff is your only warning as you’re hoisted easily in her arms and placed snugly in the warmth of her embrace. Your breath hitches at the close contact, taking the chance to finally look up at her face. You don’t expect to see the fierce way she watches you. Her eyes stayed on you as she asked the room, “Looks like little mouse enjoys her new seat, huh?” A choir of jeers rang out in agreement. Her lips caress the shell of your ear and in a quieter voice asks, “Isn’t that right? You’ve been missing your place on my lap, huh?” When you don’t immediately respond a heavy hand lands on your thigh. Heat captures the spot where her heavy hand clamps the flesh of your bare thigh. A tiny whimper escapes your lips and is muffled into her shoulder. An ache that was left empty for years was abruptly filled with that one little touch.

And from the heated look Sevika had, she might’ve felt the same way “Everyone out!” she commanded. There were a few murmurs but everyone obeyed and stumbled out of the room. Ever impatient, Sevika hoisted you up, even as people were still leaving, till you faced forward in her lap, legs parted to rest on either sides of her hips. The new position should’ve given you power yet as she lounged below you, as comfortable as ever, there was no doubt who held the power in this situation. “Let’s have a look at you.” Her blatant scan of your body was disrespectful yet your nibbles pebbled as her gaze lingered. “Did you miss me, doll?” The question was said casually but the earnest yearning was obviously visible in her expression.

“Did I miss you tormenting me for years? The humiliation?” The alcohol must’ve been making you braver tonight because you scoff and crossed your arms underneath your exposed cleavage. “No, Sevika, I hate you for every day we were together. I hate looking at your face, being in your presence, and your touch. I was finally erasing you from my memory with Erin before you interrupted.”

Her metal hand yanks the hair at your nape before you can continue your rant. Any fake pretense of playfulness is erased and the demanding girl that commanded you in high school made her grand appearance. Her back is rod straight as she presses against you.

Trapped, you try to wrestle out of her hold to no avail. “You're a shit liar little mouse.” She growls into your ear. “But don’t worry, I know how to get my girl to tell the truth.” You’re confused for only a moment before clarity arrives with the cold touch of her fingers trailing up and down your exposed tummy. You jump at the foreign contact. There’s no rush in the way she traces designs in your skin. But her touch wasn’t meek, as it returned to your thigh and traveled up. You were keenly aware how close your clothed pussy was to being exposed in the dim light of the basement because your spread position over Sevika’s legs caused the jean skirt to slide up your smooth upper thighs.

A ragged gasp leaves your mouth as said skirt is yanked over your hips with jerky movements to bunch around your waist. “W-what are you doing?” Desperate, you try to turn your still captured head to look back at the basement stairs. Yet, your indecent exposure is not a concern for your brute. Instead she chuckled. “Helping you to be honest little mouse. You said, ‘I hate your touch”?” she questions in a mean mocking tone. “This touch, doll?” A reluctant moan is pulled out of your mouth as Sevika suddenly cups your pussy.

Even through your soaked cotton panties there’s no hiding the pulsing of your clit. It quivered in need to the point of pain. Loud, deep laughter rocks Sevika’s chest. “Lie all you want little mouse but your pussy is sobbing for me.”

It was true. How could you possibly deny it as the heel of her damn hand found your clit and rocked against it with deep presses that left your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “There you go, doll. Take what you need.” she coos as she watches your hips mindlessly ground into her palm. “This the same touch you hate? The same hand your slutty pussy is soaking?”

Your mind was blurry but a kernel of defiance still lingered. “M-mhm I h-hate you. Hate seeing your face. Just leave me alone.” Truthfully if she left you now you’d likely spontaneously combust in frustration.

And because she sucked, your crescendo stuttered to an abrupt halt at the absence of her hand. “No no no no no.”

“Shh doll.” You yelp at the quick snatch of your panties that Sevika tears with only one hand. “Here you go.”

The immediate heavenly relief of a finger against your bud is so intense you fold over into her shoulder. “Shiiiiit.” you goan as she works you so expertly white flashes across your eyes. “Be mad at me all you want but don’t you dare think you could have this with anyone else. It’s me and you. Always has been - always will be.” She gives zero warning before two thick fingers slid into your slick channel. In the empty basement, the lecherous sound of your cum smacking as Sevika relentlessly thrust into your cunt overstimulated your senses. Any lingering rebellion was fucked out of you as you were held in place by her metal hand at your nape. Taking only what she desired to give you. “Sevie, sevie, sevie please I’m sorry.” sobs raked your body as you turned into the girl you thought you left behind. Pleased, her thrust became faster and harder and took a new frantic spread. “There, isn’t that better than being a little bitch.” Her breath was erratic and a frenzy lustful glare glazed over her eyes. “Say it. Say it and I’ll give you what you want.” You didn’t need clarity on her demand. Because it had been burning under your skin since you last saw her two years ago. “I missed you, Sevie.”

Her grunt of approval is a blessing to your ears and you scream her name as the thumb from her metal hand gently circles your clit and she pounds into your quivering hole. You cum so hard and long you slump against Sevika, completely depleted and blissed out. To your utter surprise, Sevika gathers your crumpled body in her arms and gives a tight squeeze as if content. Her head nuzzles your neck, kissing up the column. “I’ve missed you too little mouse.”

#sevika x reader #arcane x reader #arcane sevika #sevika #sevika x y/n #sevika smut #sevika x female reader

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atzloverr · 4 months ago

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Bite me - vampire bf!Seonghwa x reader

warnings! includes cutting skin and biting, blood, starvation, vampire themes, mentions of mature content, fluff and angst

part 2

Seonghwa had promised both you and himself to never drink from you. As much as his underlying desires begged him to, he wanted to prove that he wasn’t the monster everyone thought he was.

“You can do it if you want to,” you mumbled once, seeing your boyfriend tense up at the subject. He whined slightly. “No way… I can’t do that do you,” he sighed.

You knew his words were genuine, but you could also tell that he wanted to, deep down.

Seonghwa admitted to his old lifestyle, before you, drinking from almost anyone, being a ruthless monster with no self control. For years, he had been hooking up with people, draining them dry and leaving them an empty husk.

That was, until he met you. You made him want to change and become a better man.

He still looked back fondly at your early dating days, back when you didn’t know his secret. You were so cute, being worried about him when he got a small cut, wondering why he was so cold all the time.

He was so scared that you would be afraid of him after you found out, but you could tell that his intentions were pure, especially when he made that promise.

“I’ll never drink from you. Never. If I ever do such a thing, I don’t want you to forgive me.”

As of right now, you practically begged him to break that promise once and for all.

“Seonghwa, my love,” you whispered, gently caressing his pale skin that was now paler than usual. “You’re starving, it kills me to see you like this.”

It pained Seonghwa so much to hear the grief in your voice, so he wasn’t shocked when a tear silently fell down his cheek.

He hadn’t fed for weeks.

Every moment he spent with you, he hated his nature more. He didn’t want to hurt people anymore. He couldn’t. When he drank the blood of others, he couldn’t help but think of your beautiful, pure smile, and how mortified you would look if you saw him like this.

You were aware of what he did, and you never objected when he was going out to feed. You had to try your best to understand him, and his nature. What he was doing now was what made you feel sick. Starving himself in the name of “good”.

“Look at me,” you commanded, still holding his tender face in your hands, slowly stroking your thumbs over his cold and wet cheeks as he weeped. “Please, drink from me.”

“You know I can’t do that,” he answered sternly, voice not wavering despite the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Then go out and feed, you have to,” you begged, searching for a look of approval in his eyes. “Please…”

This wasn’t the first time you held this type of conversation. The past week, he had only looked weaker and weaker for every day that passed, a dark shadow forming under his beautiful eyes.

Seonghwa’s lips found yours, perhaps in an attempt to comfort you, or perhaps to comfort himself. A deep sound of desperation escaped him as his hands started roaming your body.

This again.

Trying to satisfy his natural needs by having sex with you, as if that would be enough to save him. He broke the kiss and analyzed your face slowly. You wore a deep frown, unsatisfied by his tactics.

“I’ll be fine,” he smiled. You hated that. He could alway make up some shit about vampires being ‘stronger than humans’ to try and avoid your accusations. “You’re torturing yourself,” you deadpanned, looking him dead in the eye. His gaze softened and he let out an airy, weak laugh.

“I love you.”

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

Tonight was a big night for Seonghwa.

After a long time of not meeting them, he was going to visit his family. You weren’t surprised when Seonghwa told you that you couldn’t come with him. You weren’t sure if you even wanted to meet his family, after what your boyfriend had told you.

They hated those like you.

Humans.

Therefore, you found yourself waiting idly for Seonghwa to come back, lying on your side on the couch, watching the clock tick agonizingly slow. It was 4 am, and you never expected him to be gone for as long as he had been.

As you almost found yourself dozing off at the endless wait, the door was suddenly opened quite harshly.

You shot up from your spot as you saw your boyfriend almost stumble into your apartment. He had gotten even weaker, still refusing to drink blood.

You rushed to his side, seeing as he could barely stand. “Oh my god,” you breathed out.

He had barely any energy left. He almost collapsed in your arms, still wearing his coat and shoes. You slowly sat him down on the couch, taking off his outerwear for him and them immediately rushing to his side once again.

With his head hung low he mumbled out some words only you could understand right now.

“Love,” he called out. His small voice brought tears to your eyes. “Yes?” you sounded out, voice coming out in barely a whisper. He didn’t say anything more, instead he just took your hands in his.

Your breath hitched at the touch. You lifted your other hand to raise his head. Your eyes widened at the sight of him.

His eyes were dull and distant as they stared into the void, and his cheeks looked particularly sunken in.

You couldn’t bear to see him like this anymore.

You rose to your feet, slowly walking to the kitchen. You knew exactly what you had to do.

You scrambled through the cabinets to grab the biggest knife you could find. At this point, you didn’t care if Seonghwa knew what you were going to do. In his current state, there was no way he could stop you.

You walked over to the couch again, plopping down next to his slouching form.

“Look at me, Seonghwa.”

You could see him twitch at the use of his name. You never called him by his name if you weren’t serious.

His gaze slowly met yours, and then traveled to the large kitchen knife in your right hand.

You didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated in panic, as he was about to protest, but he was too slow.

You cut into your left wrist, wincing at the pain before making him face his biggest fear.

You shoved your wrist to his mouth, and pushed his head even closer even as he tried to struggle. You didn’t care about the voice inside of you telling you to stop, you knew that this was the right thing to do.

After fighting it for a few seconds, Seonghwa finally felt your taste on his tongue. He suddenly froze.

He blinked, and finally gave in.

His eyes rolled back in his skull as a deep sound escaped his lips. He took a hold of your wrist and held it closer to him, growling and moaning as he hungrily lapped up your red blood.

You watched him closely as his eyes turned a deep shade of crimson and you could feel his sharp fangs against your skin.

What Seonghwa didn’t know, was that you had done your research on vampires. You knew that there was nothing quite like biting the neck. That was the best source of blood.

You braced yourself and took a deep breath.

Seonghwa gasped when you harshly pulled his head away from your bleeding wrist. He let out all kinds of feral sounds and looked almost angry at the loss of contact.

You tilted your head slightly, and pulled him in.

“Do it,” you ordered, trying your best to not let your voice waver. “Bite me.”

Without any time going to waste, you felt a sharp pain in your neck. You couldn’t help but shriek in pain at the piercing sensation. Seonghwa desperately sucked on your neck, seemingly snaking his hands around your waist. Whimpers and whines were heard from the both of you, mainly from him, as he finally let himself do what he had been aching to do ever since he met you.

Seonghwa tried to stop himself, even as his fangs were deep in your neck. There was still that part of him that had promised you, promised himself. For the first time in a long time, he had let his primal instincts take over.

He hated it.

But the taste of you, oh, the taste of your sweet blood, it felt like drugs running through his veins, making him more and more addicted for every second he spent with your blood on his tongue.

You felt yourself starting to become lightheaded, and as much as you wanted to feed him, you also knew your boyfriend. You knew how he would punish himself for this if you got hurt. You knew how he would tell you to leave him, that he broke his promise, so you had to stop him.

“Seonghwa,” you urged. You tapped his shoulder, hoping he would back away from you before you lost consciousness, but it was like he wasn’t there. He was in his own zone, and he couldn’t stop. You tapped his shoulder harder and faster, calling out his name again and again, but with no reaction.

Seonghwa could hear every word you said. He could feel every time you tapped his shoulder. He noticed the way you writhed underneath him, trying to squirm away from him. He noticed when you slowly grew more limp in his arms. It was torture.

He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t. All those weeks of starving, they made him a desperate monster. The one thing he had promised you not to be.

After what felt like an agonizing eternity for him, he finally snapped out of it and ripped his mouth away from you. He felt his eyes immediately water.

There you were, unconscious and bloody, and it was all his fault. He could hear your heartbeat still being there, but he noticed your faint breathing.

You could still see Seonghwa’s figure hovering over you, until you finally succumbed to the sweet sleep awaiting you.

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

You woke up to the sound of a voice. It was singing. You knew this voice. It was one that you loved listening to.

Your eyes fluttered opened slowly, to reveal the sight of your beloved boyfriend, humming a tune as he held your hand tightly in his. His head snapped up at an incredible speed at the sound of your changed breathing.

Without uttering a single word, he immediately wrapped his arms around you. He was shivering slightly, and you could hear him mumble into your shoulder. You were wrapped in cozy blankets, and as you spotted the bandage on your left wrist, it all came back to you.

“I’m sorry, my love,” Seonghwa said as he let go of you. You looked at his face with satisfaction. He already looked healthier. You tried to open your mouth to tell him something, but a finger to your lips shut you up.

“Please, I just need to say these things,” he started. “Never do that again,” he spat. He sounded angry, but you knew that he actually wasn’t angry with you, just at the situation.

“And also,” he continued, sighing deeply. “Thank you.”

Your eyes widened in shock.

Out of all the things he could’ve said, you never expected that to come out of his mouth.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you saved my life, and I just can’t punish you for such a thing.”

You felt your lips forming a small smile. Seonghwa crouched down and gave you a deep kiss. He pulled away involuntarily, and said the last things he wanted to have said.

“I love you.”

You took his hand and squeezed it.

“I love you too,” you confessed, smiling at his unusually warm touch against you.

“And..?” you started, making your boyfriend’s eyebrow raise in confusion. “Did you like my blood or what!?” you smiled.

Seonghwa couldn’t help but burst out in a hearty laughter at your sudden comment, and you joined him shortly after.

You found yourself more at peace than you had ever felt for the past few weeks, finally seeing that beautiful smile coat your true love’s face again. Oh, how you had missed that wonderful sight.

part 2

Y’all idek why I wrote this I was bored I guess💀 Hope you enjoyed and please leave requests if you have any! (part 2????)

my masterlist

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fic #seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #ateez imagines #park seonghwa #seonghwa ateez #vampire ateez #vampire x reader #park seonghwa x reader #vampire boyfriend

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thewritingrowlet · 5 months ago

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The Outing Trip pt. 4, ft. tripleS Dahyun

tags: throatfuck, creampie, first time anal, daddy kink, rough

length: 13k+

author's note: @octoberautumnbox wrote a Dahyun fic recently, and it motivated me to do the same. In this finale of The Outing Trip, Dahyun takes all the spotlight, just like I promised some time ago—hope you like this one <3

“Girls, wake up, please”, you poke their exposed cheeks, “we have to leave soon”. Xinyu and Nakyoung open their eyes at nearly the same time. “Good morning”, Xinyu softly says, “what time is it?”. You quickly glance at the clock, “uh, just over 5 am”. Xinyu taps Nakyoung’s arm then points at you, “take care of him, Naky-yah”. Nakyoung, in her half-awake state, nods and gets off the bed. Your jaw drops in shock when you see Nakyoung get on her knees in front of you, “yo, what are you doing?”. “Xinyu said you like morning blowjob“, Nakyoung lets out a yawn, “give me your cock, please”. You put a palm on Nakyoung’s forehead when she leans forward, “no, I don’t consent. Besides, I already gave you my cock a few hours ago—let’s just wake up regularly, okay?”.

You lift Nakyoung up and place her back in bed with Xinyu, who immediately scoots over and hugs her. “If you two don’t get ready in time, I’m leaving you here”, you leave for the bathroom after delivering a kind warning to the sleepy cuties. As you’re standing under the shower, your brain wants to recap today’s events. First and foremost, Xinyu found out about your little affair with Dahyun and slapped you for it. You were so damn lucky that Xinyu was willing to forgive you. “Fuck, I almost lost everything”, you sigh, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes, Jung Jisung”. The second thing was arguably bigger than the first, as Nakyoung let you get in her ass; something that Xinyu has never done before, “I wonder what Xinyu thought about that”. Lastly, the latest turn of your relationship: you have Nakyoung, who has now reached the peak of her third wheel duties and become your side chick.

When you get out of the bathroom, you’re met with the sight of Xinyu on top of Nakyoung, kissing her passionately. “Girls, please”, you roll your eyes, “we’ll have plenty of time for this at home”. Xinyu gets off Nakyoung and pecks you on the lips, “I love you so much, oppa”. “I love you more, Xinyu-yah”, you reply to her. You then walk towards Nakyoung and peck her forehead, “I love you as well, Nakyoung-ah”. “Love is in the air—how cool is that?”, Xinyu exclaims. You push Xinyu towards the bathroom, “take a shower and be quick about it, ‘kay?”.

You sit on the bed next to Nakyoung, who’s smiling rather sexily for some reason, “I feel like we have things to talk about”. “If it’s not about sex, I don’t want to hear it”, Nakyoung deflects. You wanted to talk about this whole love triangle thing, but it’s not exactly related to sex, so you decide to keep it for later.

“Babe, look”, you nudge Xinyu’s arm and point at the sight in front of you, “that’s quite the welcoming party, no?”. Xinyu squints as she tries to make out who those people are, “that’s… Yooyeon-unnie and Jungwoo-oppa—who is that girl holding his hand?”. “I feel like I’ve seen her before, but I don’t know who that is”, you say. Xinyu lets out a laugh, “what are they even doing, oppa?”. You lean to whisper in her ear, “I’m more concerned about Nakyoung-ie. How will she react to seeing Jungwoo and this girl holding hands?”. Xinyu’s grin disappears as the realization hits, “oh, yeah, you’re right—I’ll keep an eye on her, oppa”.

The bus rolls into a stop, and the co-driver opens the doors for you and the others to get off. You understand that these people are desperate to get home, so you let them get off first while you and your girlfriends stay behind. As you wait for your turn with Xinyu, you see Chaeyeon walking in front of Dahyun, the latter covering her head with the hood of her sweater. “Oppa, unnie, we’ll be leaving first”, Chaeyeon waves with a smile, “see you guys soon!”. You and Xinyu smile at them and wave back. “We’ll see you soon, Chaeyeon-ah”, you choose to not say Dahyun’s name, considering that Xinyu’s wounds are still very fresh—it doesn’t feel right to ignore her, though.

You look behind you and see that everyone has gotten off, which means that it’s now your turn. “Let’s go, baby”, you take Xinyu’s hand and pull her onto her feet, and at the same time, you gesture to Nakyoung to follow you. “Let’s not say anything about our situation, okay?”, you whisper to Nakyoung and Xinyu.

Everyone waves at you as soon as you step outside. You give each person present a high five, including Jungwoo’s new girl. “Jisung-ah, this is Suyeon. Babe, this is my president, Jung Jisung”, he introduces you to her. “Ah, they’re dating”, you quickly glance at Nakyoung and see that she has her resting face on. “You look familiar—we’ve met before, haven’t we?”, you say to her. Suyeon confirms your suspicion and says that you interviewed her when she tried to join the council. “Can I ask how you are nowadays? Jungwoo told me about your misfortunes”. Suyeon and Jungwoo look at each other lovingly, so you estimate that everything is going well for them. “No one will hurt her ever again”, Jungwoo says with a beaming smile.

You invite your friends to get congee for breakfast, but only Yooyeon agrees to go—Jungwoo says that he’s promised Suyeon that they’ll visit Suyeon’s parents today. “Safe travels!”, you part with them and lead the three girls to your car. “I hope this thing didn’t die”, you press the ignition button while pressing down on the clutch pedal with a foot, “come on, Jennie; I need you right now”. As if hearing your pleas, your car roars to life after a few seconds. “Ah, very good, Jennie”, you praise your car, “c’mon, girls; aren’t you hungry?”

“Hello, welcome to Congee Club. A table for 4, I assume?”, a staff greets you as you enter the congee place. “Yes, please”, you follow the staff to your table, “do you have anything else other than congee, by any chance?”. The staff hands you a menu sheet, and you see that they also offer a different type of noodles; “we can put the same toppings on the noodles”, the staff adds. You look at your friends and collect their orders: Yooyeon wants congee with shredded braised chicken, Nakyoung wants congee and quail eggs, and finally, Xinyu wants the same thing you’re getting, which is noodles with extra boiled chicken on the side. The shop gives out complimentary hot tea, so you don’t need to worry about the drinks. “Alright, they’ll be out soon”, the staff takes the menu sheet with her and leaves your table.

“They’re dating, aren’t they”, Nakyoung says, seemingly unhappy about Jungwoo and Suyeon, “fuck!”. Nakyoung’s curse was loud enough for other patrons to hear, thus turning their heads to look at you. You offer those you can see a smile to defuse the situation, and at the same time, you pinch Nakyoung’s thigh. “Keep it down, Naky-yah—goodness me”, you scold her. “But Jungwoo-oppa should’ve been mine, oppa”, Nakyoung complains, “now I won’t have a chance to be with him”. You want to say “well, you have me”, but you decide against it and say something else. “First of all, it was you who decided to dip”, you put up your fingers as you narrate your thoughts, “secondly, there are plenty of fish in the sea; you’ll find someone else”. Your words aren’t exactly the most comforting, but you’d like to think that they’re what Nakyoung needs to hear right now. “Fuck you, oppa—respectfully”, she says to you with a pout.

Seeing that you and Nakyoung are done talking, Yooyeon takes her turn to speak with you. “How was the trip, Jisung-ah? Did you manage to, y’know, talk to her?”, Yooyeon makes quotation marks with her fingers. “I mean, yeah, but it wasn’t exactly fruitful”, you summarize, “basically Xinyu found out about me and Dahyun-ie and slapped me for it”. Her eyes widen as she looks at you and Xinyu, “but you didn’t break up, did you?”. You shake your head, “no, Xinyu was kind enough to forgive me. I also promised her to never do such thing again”. Xinyu moves her hands closer to yours, indirectly asking you to hold them, so you do just that. “I love you, baby, and I’m sorry for everything”, you say to Xinyu, earning a warm smile from her and Yooyeon. “I don’t know who I’d side with if you broke up, honestly—it’s not even my relationship haha”, Yooyeon chuckles, amused with herself.

“Oh, hey, it’s here”, you point at the staff, who is carrying a tray full of food in her hands. “Thank you very much!”, you take the bowls from her hands to help distribute food to your friends. Xinyu gestures to Nakyoung to swap seats with her so that she can sit next to you, and you help them by moving their bowls accordingly. Xinyu wraps an arm around yours and leans against your shoulder, “feed me, oppa”. “Sure, baby”. You move her congee closer to you and sprinkle some pepper into it, just the way she likes it. “Choo-choo”, you guide a spoonful of congee towards her mouth, and she welcomes you in with a smile. “Everything is better when you’re with me, oppa”, she says, letting out a happy hum after. All the while you’re taking care of Xinyu, Yooyeon is looking at you, but she quickly looks away when you make eye contact with her.

“Hah, finally—home sweet home”, you punch in your passcode and enter your apartment with Xinyu. She puts down her duffel bag at the doorway and runs towards the bedroom, leaving the door open for you. “You alright, baby?”, you lean against the door frame and observe your girlfriend, “do you need anything?”. “I need—“, a big yawn cuts her off, “I need you right here, oppa”.

Right before you get in bed, Xinyu stops you and asks you to help her undress. “Are we having sex?”, you ask to make sure. “No—well, not yet at least”, she throws her clothes onto the floor, “I just want to feel your skin on mine”. Since her intentions have been made clear, you take off your clothes. You don’t just toss them away, though—you fold them tidily, and you do the same for Xinyu’s. “Ah, sorry about that”, Xinyu grins sheepishly as she watches you fold her clothes.

You quickly look at the clock, “ah, 10 am; plenty of time to chill”. Xinyu opens her arms, “come here, daddy”. You get on the bed while letting out a sigh, “you can’t just call me that—now I have a boner, thanks to you”. She covers her mouth to hide her giggles, “do you want help with that?”. You pinch her exposed nipple, earning a yelp and a slap on the wrist from her. “I want you tonight, Xinyu-yah; I’ll empty my tank for you”, you say to her. “Just tonight?”, Xinyu puts on a dramatic pout, “what about tomorrow? Are you bored of me?”. You pull her into your arms and tangle your legs with hers. “How can I get bored of you, baby? I love you so much and you always love me back”. Xinyu lets out a squeal, “I can’t with you, oppa”.

“Babe, I’m sorry for bringing this up right now”, you start cautiously, “I want to make it right with Dahyun-ie and salvage whatever relationship I have with her”. “And how do you want to do that, oppa?”. “That’s a good question, actually”, you scratch your forehead in confusion, “any ideas?”. “Maybe you can spend a day with her, oppa”, she suggests, “tell her I’m away or something like that. I’ll stay at home while you, uh, conduct your business”. You ask her if it’s okay to spend next weekend with Dahyun, to which she says yes—one condition, though; “if you’re having sex with her, you must wear protection; you can only have raw sex with me”. You agree with her terms and thank her for letting you talk about this. “You don’t have to thank me, oppa. I’m just trying to help”, she says, pecking your chest after. You start feeling emotional, but you hold your tears in for now, “I’m so thankful for you, baby. I’m so sorry for cheating on you”.

Well, here it is, Saturday morning on the following weekend. Dahyun has managed to avoid you the whole week, but today, you hope that you’ll be able to catch her. It is still pretty early, and Xinyu is still sleeping—wouldn’t want to leave without saying bye to Xinyu, would you?

You look around the apartment to find something to do to kill some time, and your brain suggests cleaning the apartment. “Well, let’s clean this place, shall we?”. First, you plan out the route: you want to start by mopping the floor and vacuuming the sofa, then wipe the kitchen counter and dining table with wet cloth, and finally, you’ll end the, erm, shift by cleaning the bathroom. “That is a sound plan”, you say to yourself.

Before you start mopping the floor, you grab the vacuum cleaner and use it to pick up fallen hair and the like so that it doesn’t get dragged around by the wet mop. You run the long nozzle of the vacuum cleaner under the sofa and TV shelf, since it’s most likely where dust ends up. Once that’s done, you dump the vacuum cleaner into the bin to be thrown out later.

You then make your way towards the laundry area where you keep the mop and bucket and take them to the bathroom. After filling the bucket with water mixed with some mopping solution, you’re now ready to mop the floor. You start from the window of the living room and snake your way through, reaching under the sofa and TV shelf to make sure that you don’t miss a spot.

When you go back to the bathroom to rinse the mop and change the water, you hear a thumping sound coming from the living room, so you check it out; you see Xinyu squirming around on the floor in front of the bedroom while rubbing her butt, seemingly in discomfort. “Did you slip, baby?”, you lift her and place her on the sofa, “sorry about that, baby”. “Aaaaah, oppaaaaa”, Xinyu whines, “I didn’t know it was weeeet”. You laugh at her, “just stay here, okay? I’ll get back to you after I’m done”.

Now that Xinyu’s comfortably lying on the sofa, you resume your work and mop the bedroom floor. “Might as well make the bed while I’m here”. You pull the sheets around until they’re straight and tidy up the pillows and blanket before running your mop around the bedroom floor. “What the fuck—is this cum?”, you bend forward and take a closer look at the persistent stain in front of the bed. You run your mop aggressively over the stain, but you can still see the outline of it. “Ah, fuck it; I’ve got bigger fish to fry”.

“Oppa”, Xinyu calls out to you when she sees you coming out from the bedroom, “can I help with anything?”. You carefully tippy-toe towards her and join her on the sofa. “Just sit still and look pretty, please”, you peck her cheek, “are you okay? Does your butt still hurt?”. Xinyu shakes her head, “no, it was more embarrassing than painful”. “Yeah, well, you should’ve paid more attention”, you tease her, earning a pinch on the cheeks from her.

“Babe, can you clean the kitchen, please? I’m going to clean the bathroom”, you ask for her help. Xinyu taps her chin, “and what do I get for helping you, oppa?”. You replicate her gesture and tap your chin, “hmm, what do you want?”. “I want your cum”, she says with a smile, “ah, actually, you’re going to be fucking Dahyun-ie a lot so I guess you should save your load for her”. You don’t know how to react to that, so you opt to stay silent, just to be safe. “Alright, fine. I’ll help you”, she jumps off the sofa, “you owe me pizza and pasta, oppa”. That, you know how to react to. “Alright, cool. Let’s meet here again after we’re both done”.

You’ve breezed through your task, and you assume Xinyu has too. “Babe?”, you call out to her from the bathroom, “you want to shower, or no?”. “One second!”, you hear a reply from her. You hear her rapid steps, and soon, she appears at the door of the bathroom. “Shower! Shower!”, she exclaims as she starts undressing. “You thought I wanted to shower together?”, you say to her in a flat voice, teasing her. “You didn’t? Oh, sorry”, Xinyu turns around and makes to leave the bathroom. You reach for her wrist and stop her, “I was just kidding, baby; of course I wanted to shower with you”. “That’s what I thought”, she comes in for a quick kiss, “I’d like to have a load, oppa”. She did say that you should save it for Dahyun, but you don’t have the heart to decline her claim to your first load—she is your girlfriend, not Dahyun. “Of course, baby”.

“I hope one day we have a bathtub, oppa”, she says, seemingly out of nowhere, “I’d love to have sex in a tub”. “I mean, we can move to an apartment that has one”, you shrug, “do you want to?”. Xinyu didn’t expect such an answer, as she was only yapping mindlessly. “M-maybe next semester, oppa”.

You ask her to sit on the toilet and kneel in front of her, just like you usually do. “Okay, then”, you start, “you said you want my first load? How do you want it?”. “Fuck me and cum inside; just like how we do it best”. You exchange smiles with Xinyu before getting down to business. She grabs your chin and invites you for a warm kiss, to which you respond warmly by, well, kissing her.

“I wish I knew other ways to show my love other than saying I love you”, Xinyu pouts, feeling stumped. “You don’t need to worry about that, baby; I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it”, you assure her. You’re flustered when you see her shed a tear. “Y’know, my ex used to make me feel like I was always lacking, and now, you always make me feel like I’m the best girl there is—God, if only you know how grateful I am for you, oppa”, she adds as more tears escape her eyes. “I don’t think we can have sex in this mood—why did she bring up her ex, though?”, you think, and you’re most likely correct. Xinyu needs comfort more than she does cum—no big deal, though; it’s not like it’s the first time you’ve been blue-balled (if you even can call it that). “Babe, I’ll help you shower and then we can cuddle, okay? Let’s keep the sex for next time”.

Xinyu plants her head on your chest, her favorite resting spot. “What time are you leaving, by the way?”, she asks. “I think I’ll have better chances to see her if I go to her restaurant”, you eye the clock on the wall, “I’ll probably leave in 2 hours”. Xinyu only lets out a hum, thus making you curious about her feelings. “How do I say this, oppa”, she sighs, “I don’t feel as hurt any more about the fact that you cheated on me”. “Really?”, you’re surprised to hear that, so you ask her to elaborate. “I mean, my ex also cheated on me, so I understand why someone would do such thing—never expected that you’d be like him, though”, she chuckles at the end.

You’re somewhat offended to hear Xinyu clump you up with her ex, but you literally did the same thing he did. “Like I said, the plan is to see Dahyun-ie and part ways with her, like, properly”, you remind her, “will you let me do that?”. “Sure”, says Xinyu, “just make sure you make the right impressions. I don’t want Dahyun-ie to think that I hate her, because I don’t”.

You were briefed by Xinyu before you left; she told you to get a bar of her favorite chocolate and a bag of Doritos to give to Dahyun as a little present. She also told you to give Dahyun this letter that she has written when you leave on Sunday. You didn’t expect Xinyu to take this sort of stance, but she probably only wants to help make sure everything ends well and everyone gets to be happy.

Xinyu’s words of “make sure you make the right impressions” keep repeating in your head as you’re walking towards Dahyun’s restaurant. You can’t believe your luck; Dahyun is attending the cashier. “Hello, welcome to—“, she’s surprised to see you, “o-oh, he-hello, oppa”. “Hi”, you show her a calm smile, “how are you, Dahyun-ah?”. Dahyun declines you the opportunity to have a conversation, shaking her head and re-focusing on the POS tablet in front of her. “What can I get you today?”, she asks, not looking at you. “One double smash burger and fries, and one iced lychee tea, please”. “Sure, please wait”.

Waiting is what you’re doing right now. You have no one else to talk to because your friends aren’t here with you—that guy with the headphones sitting at the other table probably wouldn’t appreciate you disturbing his lunch. “I probably should text Xinyu”, you think, so you pull out your phone and string together a message for her. Xinyu is probably asleep right now; it says that she was last online around 30 minutes ago, which is right after you left the apartment. The image of your sleeping girlfriend makes you feel sleepy yourself, and this restaurant table looks very comfortable to sleep on right now. You cover your mouth as you yawn; “surely Dahyun-ie will wake me up, right?”.

You don’t know how long you’ve been sleeping on the table, but it for sure still doesn’t feel enough. In your sleep, you can feel someone running their hand softly on the back of your head—not sure why your brain wants you to open your eyes, though. “Hm?”, you mumble as you open your eyes, “oh, hi”. “Hi, oppa”, Dahyun greets you in the gentlest voice you’ve ever heard from her, “tired?”. Well, yes, you are tired; “I spent the whole morning cleaning the apartment, Dahyun-ah”. She points at the tray full of food in front of you, “well, I have just the thing for you, oppa”.

Dahyun starts walking away from your table when she sees that you’re fully awake, but you stop her in her tracks by grabbing her wrist. “Please, sit with me”, you gesture to the empty seat next to you, “I want to talk”. She hesitates at first, but she eventually takes a seat next to you. “Oppa”, she says, her voice tiny, “I’m sorry”. “No, no, no—I’m sorry”, you slowly reach for her hands, “I’m the one who fucked up”. Dahyun stays silent momentarily before replying to you. “Do you like me, though, oppa? Do you think that I’m attractive?”, she asks. “I mean, yeah—have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?”, you think that it’s obvious, “you are attractive”. Dahyun smiles slightly and thanks you for the praise. “Go eat, oppa; nothing else is worse than cold fries—I won’t leave”, she says. You put a fry in your mouth and start chewing. “This isn’t regular fries, is it? What is this taste?”, you wonder. Dahyun tells you that she asked the cook to add a seasoning mix that she has come up with. You then take a fry and bring it towards her mouth, “have a bite, sweetie”. She holds your wrist while she takes the fry with her teeth—you’re surprised when she pecks your hand after; “thank you, oppa”. You take a moment to smile at her before turning your attention back to your food—it’s all about making the right impressions today.

Aside from the occasional hums of enjoyment, you’re quiet when eating. “You like it, oppa?”, she asks the obvious. “Of course I do, sweetie”, you state the obvious. You expect her to tell you off for calling her by a pet name, but she doesn’t seem to be mad about it. “I have a feeling that you’re trying to get in my pants, oppa”, she chuckles, “are you?”. The unexpectedness makes you cough a few times. “I mean, I’m simply trying to part ways with you properly. If I need to get in your pants for that, I’ll gladly do so”, you whisper to her. Sometimes you feel like you’re being too honest with people, and today is one of those times.

Dahyun taps your thigh a few times as she stands up from her seat, indicating that she wants you to follow her. She then takes you to the empty office where she kissed you last time. “I imagine Xinyu-unnie won’t like this”, she says as she closes the door behind you. You chuckle in response, “well, this was her idea”.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“What did she say?”

“I told her that I wanted to make it right with you, and she suggested that I spend this weekend with you; we can do whatever we want.”

“Cool—very cool.”

Dahyun plants her hands on your chest as she gets on her toes to kiss you. “That’s your teaser, oppa”, she says, “let’s go back; you still need to finish your food”. You stop Dahyun from turning around by holding her wrist again—there’s something about you and holding girls by their wrists. “Not so fast, cutie”. You lift her up by her thighs and come in for a deep kiss. “I’m sorry for hurting you”, you say softly, “I should’ve realized earlier that I could never cater to two hearts at the same time”. Dahyun shows you a gentle smile, “Trust me, I’m not hurt, oppa. I was more concerned about you and the unnie than myself”.

The selflessness is touching, you must admit, but it doesn’t change the fact that you cheated on Xinyu with Dahyun. “Why did you avoid me last week, then?”, you ask. “You literally go everywhere with your girlfriend, oppa; I didn’t want to risk getting slapped or yelled at in public”, she defends herself. You tell her that she doesn’t need to worry since Xinyu would never do such thing. “No, no, no”, she wiggles a finger in front of your face, “she slapped me at the resort when she found out about us”. Xinyu never told you about it, presumably because she’s embarrassed with herself for being violent. “I’ll ask her about it”. Dahyun wiggles her finger again, “no, there’s no need for that; as far as I’m concerned, I deserved it”.

Dahyun taps your forearms to signal you that she wants to be let down, so you gently lower her to her feet. “Eat your food, oppa”, she says, “you don’t want to make me throw it out, do you?”. No, you don’t. Wasting food is not a good thing—wait, hold on, let’s tease her a bit. “That burger isn’t the only thing I’m eating today, cutie”. “Oh my God, oppa, what the fuck are you saying”, she fans her red cheeks with her hands, “come on, let’s go back”. That’s as good of a reaction as you can get from someone who isn’t your girlfriend. Not only that, but you also did no buildup prior to the dirty talk—guess Dahyun is more perverted than you know.

“Hey, dude, don’t you have a girlfriend already?”. The guy from the other table surprises you as soon as you leave the office room with Dahyun. “Excuse me?”, you ask, unsure of his intentions—just in case he tries anything stupid, you move Dahyun until she’s hidden behind you. “You. Have. A. Girlfriend”, he repeats, emphasizing each word, “why are you still trying to get into my Dahyun-ie’s pants?”. You quickly look over your shoulder and see that Dahyun is shaking her head—even if you’re clueless as to who he is and what his relationship is with her, you can tell that she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“Alright, let’s—yo, yo, relax, man!“. You’re not sure why the guy thinks that it’s a good idea to reach for Dahyun, but you’re certainly not a fan of it. “Move!”, the guy yells at you, “she’s mine, not yours!”. “Not with that attitude, bro”, you plant your hands on his chest as you try to maintain some distance between Dahyun and this guy—what is his name, anyway. The guy finally realizes that his arms (that are built like shoestring fries) can’t compete with yours, so he gives up trying to push you and retreats. “Fuck you!”, he spits at the floor in front of you and leaves the restaurant, not forgetting to grab his belongings on his way out.

You grab some napkins from the register area and use them to wipe his spit off the floor, ignoring the nastiness of it. “Thank you, oppa”, Dahyun kneels in front of you and helps you wipe the floor, “that guy has been trying so hard to get close to me this past week”.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“What’s his name?”

“Park Jaewon.”

“Is he from the university?”

Dahyun nods, “I heard that he used to have a crush on Xinyu-unnie, but obviously you got to her first”

“Not to be mean, but I don’t think Xinyu would’ve fallen for him”, you sigh, “how did you know him?”

“Well, he slipped a note with his name and phone number written on it between some cash a few days ago.”

You stand up and look at his table, which he left dirty, “I’ll help you clean that up”. Dahyun grabs your wrist to stop you (the same way you did hers), “no, just go back to your table, please. I’ll take care of this”. You try insisting, but she insists harder, so you do as she asks and go back to your table to finish your food. It doesn’t feel right to just sit back and watch someone clean things up, though.

Dahyun joins you at your table after putting away the empty plate and cup, and you can see that her mood is worse than it was prior to the incident. “You alright, sweetie?”, you try to gauge her mood, “can I do something for you?”. She leans against your shoulder and lets out a sigh, “I really want to be in your arms right now, oppa—you said we can do anything we want, right?”. “Yeah, we can”, you take a sip of your tea, “you don’t live with your parents, do you?”. Dahyun shakes her head, “no, but we need to wait until my mom comes before we go—she should be here soon”.

You and Dahyun wait for Mrs. Seo by exchanging stories from your pasts. She tells you about this guy who fell for her after hearing her sing and how he recommended her to audition to become an idol. “He was so confident that I’d make it, even if I wasn’t the least bit confident about my skills”, she says, enjoying reminiscing about the memory, “I hope he’s doing well, wherever he is now”. You ask if she dated him, and she said yes; they were each other’s first time. “That’s touching”, you smile, “can I ask why you two broke up?”. “I was a fool, oppa”, Dahyun’s smile gradually disappears, “I told him that I was bored of our relationship, even though he had been very kind and loving to me”.

You never dated anyone before Xinyu, and you wonder if boredom is a real threat to relationships. You can only hope that she will never get tired of you, because you’re certainly not ready to see her leave you out of boredom. “Why are you quiet, oppa?”, Dahyun asks, saving you from drowning in your own thoughts. “Sorry, cutie—I was just thinking about Xinyu”. “Tell me something about the both of you, oppa”, Dahyun requests, curious about your life.

“Xinyu is… my everything”, you give her the most honest answer possible, “I know I cheated on her and that’s fucked up, but I really mean it”. Dahyun asks you to continue, so you continue. “I’m not going to deny how attractive she is, but for me, she’s way more than looks and curves; she has been the best girlfriend that I could ever ask for”. She nods at you, seemingly in approval of your impressions of your girlfriend.

“Do you see a future with her, oppa?”

“Yes”, you barely hesitate, “yes, I do.”

“What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Do you see a future with me? Do you think I have a chance to be with you, oppa?”

You try your hardest to crank the gears in your brain to answer her question, and you think that you have one—well, here goes nothing:

“I mean, there’s always a chance for someone to be with someone.”

You’re not sure if the answer is satisfactory (or if it makes sense), but Dahyun nods anyway, so it probably is. “Here’s my advice, oppa: sometimes you need to not be so open to opportunities or possibilities—did you not learn anything from our little adventure?”. That is a great line, and you did not expect her to say something like that. You scratch your temple in cluelessness, “I don’t know what to say, Dahyun-ah”. Heh, not even the narrator knows what to say—that was quite the advice, Seo Dahyun.

Shortly after, salvation comes to your aid in the shape of Mrs. Seo, who is seemingly in a good mood. Her gaze lands at you and Dahyun, so you stand up and promptly bow in respect. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Seo. Have you been well?”, you ask. “Ah, hi, Jisung-ah”, she waves at you, “I’ve been superb—thanks for asking!”. Dahyun taps your thigh, signaling to you that the two of you can now leave the restaurant. “Mrs. Seo, I’d like to go out with Dahyun-ie tonight. Is that okay?”, you ask, trying to be polite. “Dahyun-ie is old enough to make her own decisions, so you should ask her first—if she’s okay with it, then so am I”, she replies.

You quickly look at Dahyun, and she looks right back at you. “Right”, you clear your throat, “we’ll be leaving then. Have a good day, madam”. Dahyun is smart enough to not hold your hand when you’re still inside the restaurant and wait until you’re out of her mom’s sight. “You’re funny, oppa”, she comments, “is that how you ask for permission to go out with a girl?”. “I mean, I was just trying to be polite”, you defend yourself, “come on, cookie; I think we have somewhere to be”.

Dahyun says that she needs to make a quick stop at a convenient store first, so you drive towards the closest one, which is about 5 minutes away from the restaurant. “Wait here”, she says as she gets out of the car. Dahyun’s short stature disappears behind the store’s shelves, so you can’t tell what she’s getting. You’re reminded, however, that you’re supposed to give some things to her, courtesy of Xinyu. You reach towards the floor of the middle row, and you can feel that the plastic bag is there, “oh, nice, I didn’t forget to bring it”.

Dahyun doesn’t take too long to return, as she opens the front passenger door after a few minutes. “Alright, we can go to our apartment, oppa”, she says. “Our?”, you make sure you didn’t mishear. “Oh, sorry—I meant my apartment”, she corrects herself, letting out a chuckle at the end, “I’ll show you the way”.

Dahyun sang during the whole ride, thus making the trip feel very short, and now you find yourself sitting in the parking lot of her building. “I believe you’d like to come up with me”, she says. Well, yes, you would; you didn’t come here just to drive away again right after. You offer her your hand, and she holds it without thinking twice. “I have a feeling that today will be the last time I get to spend time with you like this”, she says, her tone that of… sadness? “Cutie, you’re the one who told me to not be so open to all possibilities”, you try to reason with her. “I know”, she sounds defeated right now, “come on, let’s get to my apartment now”.

You find yourself standing in front of her unit after a short walk, and Dahyun uses her other hand to unlock her door for the two of you. “Welcome, oppa”. You enter her apartment and take a look around, “so clean, Dahyun-ah”. “It’s not hard to keep it clean when you don’t have too many things to begin with”, she moves to stand in front of you, “so, what do you want to do now?”.

“Allow me to do this one last time, sweetie”. You bend down slightly and give her a fleeting kiss. “Wait”, she gasps, “please, one more time”. She gets on her tippy toes while her arms wrap around your nape, “please, one more time, oppa”. She’s asking very nicely, so you reward her with a kiss that’s deeper than last time. “I wish you were mine, oppa”, she says, her eyes glassy from unreleased tears, “I love you, Jung Jisung”. You wonder if you should say it back, considering the circumstances and all that. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”, Dahyun protests, “you had no problem saying it back at the resort”. “Sorry”, you inhale deeply as you prepare, “I love you too, Seo Dahyun”. You see that the dams in her eyes have broken, thus releasing tears onto her cheeks. “Thank you, oppa”, she says, “I’m thankful for you, even if you were never really mine”.

Dahyun lets go of you and walks towards her bedroom. “Have a seat, oppa. I’ll be right back”. You sit down on the sofa and lean back as you start re-considering if this peace-making thing is a good idea or not. “Fuck, what if this doesn’t work?”, you palm your forehead, feeling stressed and concerned, “God, help me, please”.

She comes out of her bedroom after a short while, and you see that she has changed into a tight-fit shirt and a short skirt that barely covers half her thighs. She moves to kneel in front of you and plants her hands on your thighs. “What are you doing, cutie?”, you ask, trying to not have a boner. “Seducing you”, she licks her upper lip sexily, “I want to get in your pants, the same way you want to get in mine, you cheater”. “That’s very sudden”, you blink your eyes rapidly in confusion, “why the, uh, office look, then?”. “Don’t think that I never notice how you drool every time Xinyu-unnie wears a shirt”. “Fuck, she knows it—Xinyu is crazy hot in a shirt, too”, you think to yourself.

Your silence confirms that Dahyun is right, hence the giggles. She teases you further by unbuttoning the first few buttons of her shirt, thus exposing more of her chest. “Who’s hotter, oppa: me or your girlfriend?”, she leans forward just enough for you to be able to see her cleavage. You can come up with an answer by comparing each other’s assets, but at the same time, you feel like that’s a waste of time—it’s not like Dahyun will tell Xinyu your answer, is it—so to answer her question: “you’re so fucking hot, Dahyun-ah; I like your proportions”. You don’t care if that sounds weird or stupid; you’re here to do whatever you can to make her happy, so that you’ll feel less guilty about all of this.

Dahyun keeps the smile on her face as she maintains eye contact with you. “Oppa, thank you for liking me”, her voice changes from seductive to cute, “let me do something for you, oppa—let me make you happy”. She digs for your belt and unbuckles it before zipping your jeans down, eager to reach your cock. You notice that she’s struggling to pull your jeans down, so you help her by pulling them down together with your boxers.

“Oppa, you’re bigger than my ex, now that I think about it—you’re long even if you’re not hard”, Dahyun chuckles as she strokes your cock to peak hardness. You’re not sure if you want to be compared to someone by penis size, but it fuels your ego, nonetheless. “Who’s better at sex: me or him?”, you give her a taste of her own medicine. “He liked vanilla more than anything else, so in terms of variety, you’re better than him”, she reminisces. She gives you a peck on the underside of your cock, “my fucking God, I love worshipping big cocks”.

She wants to take you in her mouth, but before she has the chance to do so, you halt her and lift her chin, making her look at you. “Yes, oppa?”, she shows you a very beautiful smile—one that you hope was yours. “Wait, no, I already have Xinyu—not this shit again”. You take a deep breath to gather yourself, “this is very likely our last time doing this, baby; let’s make it a memorable one”. Dahyun leans against your hand, which you notice can fit perfectly in a handful, “you’re such a good boyfriend, oppa—you’re even going out of your way to make it up to me”. You caress her cheek gently, enjoying the softness. “I want to make everyone happy, Dahyun-ah, and I don’t care if it’s stupid or a waste of time”, you say to her. “Maybe not everyone, oppa; you just need a handful of people in your life”, she smiles, “I hope you don’t disappear from my life, because I don’t want to give up on us just yet”.

You realize that you’re back in square one again; Dahyun wants you and hopes to be with you, but you can’t hurt Xinyu for the second time. “One thing at a time, Jung Jisung—one thing at a time. Just look at the girl in front of you and don’t worry about anything else”, says the voice in your head. “Alright, baby”, you give Dahyun a quick peck on the forehead, “do what you want to me”.

After being shown the green light, Dahyun parts her lips and puts your tip in her mouth, and you can’t help but to throw your head back. “That’s so good”, you chirp, “fuck, baby, you’re great at this”. You hear some lewd sound coming from her but pay no mind to it; she’s probably trying to get used to your girth stretching her jaws. With a grunt that’s barely audible, she starts going down on your shaft, slowly but determinedly. You encourage her by placing your hand on the back of her head and petting her gently. You let out a moan after a particular move from her; “fuck, that’s good, baby”.

You know that she’s capable of taking your whole length, so the fact that she’s only taking half of it isn’t exactly satisfactory for you—you are naughty like that. With your palm already sitting on the back of her head, you hold it firmly and pull her towards you, forcing your cock deeper into her mouth, and possibly, her throat. The lewd sounds she’s making right now are music to your ears, making you more eager to reach her throat. “I know you can do it, baby”, you grit your teeth and thrust forward, “oh, fuck—come on, baby”.

Dahyun taps your butt rapidly, indicating that she needs a break, so you retreat from her throat and lean back on the sofa again. “Fuck, oppa”, she coughs a few times, “oh, God, I love it”. “I’m sorry for not asking earlier, baby, so I’ll ask now: do you want it rough?”, you ask in a gentle voice. “Isn’t that obvious already?”, she looks at you with signs of lust drunkenness on her face, “you can be as rough as you want, daddy”.

Well, there it is, the daddy kink that you know and love—there’s something about that word used in a sexual context that arouses you beyond help. You help Dahyun stand up and carry her to her bedroom. “No man has ever been to this bedroom, oppa”, she giggles, “even if I’m not a virgin, I can still have my firsts with you”. “That’s cute, baby”, you comment.

You stop in front of her bed and gently lower her. “For future reference, baby, there are two things that I like seeing girls wear: a sleeveless top, and a shirt”, you say. “I figured, since unnie wears those two things a lot—oh, it’s called a blouse, by the way”, she giggles, “come on, fuck my face again”. You figure that she was the naughty one in her past relationship, because no previously innocent girl would say such thing to her man; “heh, no wonder she was bored of her ex”, you think. While you’re busy thinking, Dahyun has put herself in a position where her head hangs off the edge while the rest of her body is lying flat in bed. “Should be easier to fuck my throat in this position, oppa”, she says, “please, in here”.

“Just so we’re clear, I won’t stop for anything”, you warn her with your cock in hand and ready to go. “I don’t—ghlk”, the sound Dahyun makes when your cock interrupts her speech fuels the fire of lust in your head. “Touch yourself—if you don’t cum with me, I’m taking your ass”. You don’t exactly intend to take her ass, but the threat itself is usually enough to make a girl do as you say—look, Dahyun is touching herself over her panties. “Aren’t you a good girl”, you praise her, “I’ll start now”.

You hold her plump tits and use them as handles while you move your hips back and forth. “Oh, fuck”, you groan; the way her lips wrap perfectly around your cock makes for a really good stimulation for you. You see the way her throat bulges when your cock is fully lodged in there—not even Xinyu has done this with you. “Keep comparing her to your girlfriend, that’ll do you good”, the voice in your head says. You put a palm on her neck and squeeze gently every time it bulges, earning all kinds of sounds from Dahyun. “You’re really good, baby—hah, fuck”, you praise her with heavy breaths.

You’re almost ashamed that you’re already so close to your orgasm, but this is just too good. You let go of her breasts and fix your hands on the bed instead, getting ready to fuck her throat harder and faster. “Be good, baby; I’m so close”. She’s been very good for the last few minutes, but it doesn’t hurt to remind her. You lean forward just a little bit and start fucking her properly, not caring about her well-being. You’re too busy abusing her throat that you don’t notice that Dahyun is no longer touching herself even though her hand is still placed over her pussy. With a grunt and a curse, you blow a load deep in her throat, possibly sending it straight to her stomach. You close your eyes and savor the high of your orgasm while your cock is still lodged in Dahyun’s airway. That is, until you feel weak taps on your thighs, as Dahyun is desperate for air. “You want to breathe, baby?”, you tease, and you see her nod slightly, “one sec, okay?”. You retreat slowly from her throat, and you see that her makeup is now ruined, and her face has spit and tears all over it. “You look beautiful”, you chuckle, “good job, baby”.

She gathers the last bit of her strength and reaches her arms out to you. You’re not sure what she exactly wants, but you take her hand anyway and help her move into a better position. “You… you used me”, she says, her voice feeble, “you fucking used me, and I fucking loved it, daddy”. “You’re so fucking naughty, Dahyun-ah—no wonder your vanilla-loving ex bored you”, you shake your head, amused by her craziness. “I wish he was as naughty as you are, daddy—fuck, I can’t breathe”, she rolls around as she tries to get as much air as possible.

While she’s busy trying to get herself together, you decide to see if she did cum with you as you commanded. You hike up her skirt and see that it’s not too drenched, just some leaky wetness decorating it.

“You didn’t cum, did you?”

“I-I didn’t”

“Have you always been this disobedient?”

“No.”

“Then why didn’t you cum?”

“Because I want you in my ass, daddy.”

Fuck: that’s one more girl who offers you her ass. Again, once again, Xinyu has never done this with you. You pull her into a sitting position in front of you and hold her shoulders. “How sure are you?”, you ask. “One. Million. Fucking. Percent”, she smirks, “I know the unnie is too scared to take you in the ass, so do it to me, daddy”.

“Fine—do you have lube?”

“In the wardrobe, in the bag from the convenience store”

Aha, so that’s why she wanted to make a stop at one earlier.

“You didn’t expect it, did you, daddy?”

You walk towards her wardrobe and see the bag sitting on a rack, next to some panties and bras. You fish the lube out of the bag and right before you close the wardrobe, your eyes land on some ties that are sitting on a lower rack. “Should be able to have fun with this”, you grab one and close the wardrobe behind you.

“Hands”, you say, and Dahyun crosses her hands behind her back. You tie her wrists together firmly and tell her to lie down on the bed while you slather lube on your cock. “This is my first time, daddy”, she reveals, and you almost drop the bottle due to the shock. “Are you sure you want to give it to me?”, you look at Dahyun, who now has her ass in the air. “Think of it as my commitment to never give up on chasing you, no matter how long it’ll take”. You’re not entirely sure why she’s so hell-bent on being with you, and a part of you thinks that she wants to be with someone who’s comparable to her ex, who she has described as someone who is kind and loving, just like you are.

“Fine”. You continue coating your cock with lube so that you won’t hurt her too much. You then move behind her and untie her hands. “Oppa? You okay?”, she asks, unsure of your intentions. “It’s not right to do it like this on your first time, baby”, you put on a gentle smile, “on your back, please; I want to see you”.

Dahyun rolls onto her back and spreads her arms and legs, hoping that you’ll fill the space with your body. “You’re so kind, daddy”, she pecks you on the lips once, “I swear to God, unnie is so lucky to have you”. You want to say that you’re the lucky one, but you don’t feel like talking about your and Xinyu’s relationship with Dahyun, especially when you’re about to fuck her ass. Dahyun airs her annoyance for not getting an answer, but you ignore her, opting to start unbuttoning her blouse instead. “O-oh”, her cheeks start turning red, “y-yes, you can do that, I guess”.

“Take a look at yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see”, you command her. The mirror is right in front of the bed, so Dahyun doesn’t need to get off the bed to look at it. She eyes herself from top to bottom and lets out a wow; “I can see why you like seeing girls in a blouse, daddy—fuck, I look so hot like this”. You chuckle, “told ‘ya”.

You pull her backwards gently by her shoulder until she’s lying flat on the bed again. “One last time: are you sure you want to get fucked in the ass?”, you make sure she hasn’t changed her mind. “Take me, daddy”, she guides your hands towards her skirt, indirectly giving you the green light, “even if you can’t be mine, you’ll be the only person to be in my ass”. “Sweetheart, you deserve to be with someone who loves you and you only—I’m not the perfect guy that you think I am; trust me”, you start pulling her skirt down by the waistband, “that being said, let’s make this a memorable one, hey?”.

Your hands coincidentally land on her thighs, and only now do you notice how soft they are. She starts moaning when you run your hands back and forth on her thighs. “You like my thighs, daddy?”. “They’re so soft, baby”, you pinch them lightly, “they feel perfect in my hands”. “I don’t know—oh, fuck, what are you doing, daddy”, Dahyun’s words are cut off when you touch her pussy over the wet panties, “am I not so perfect for you, daddy? Oh, fuck, I’m so wet”.

You ask if you can pull down her panties, and she gives you permission with a nod. “You’re really wet, aren’t you, baby?”, you tease her by putting a finger on her nub and pressing down on it, “you’re wet for your senior’s boyfriend”. “Oh, oh, God—y-you’re supposed to be mine, not hers!”, Dahyun screams when she feels more stimulation on her nub, “oh, please, just fuck me already”.

You move to sit in between her legs and aim your cock at… which entrance? “She wanted me to take her ass, but fuck, her pussy is so tempting right now”, you try to quickly come to a decision, “ah, fuck it; pussy first, ass later”. You guide your cock towards her pussy and go deep right away, earning a long and loud moan from Dahyun. “Oh, fuck, daddy”, her breathing is irregular thanks to your cock that’s stretching her, “w-why not my ass? FUCK!”. She lets out a scream when she feels you hitting her deepest spots. “Your pussy is too good to miss out on, baby”, you say, and you wonder if that was too vulgar a sentence—perhaps misogynistic, even.

You fall forwards onto her body without letting up your pace, eager to bust again. “Let’s go, baby”, your breathing is becoming irregular too, “hah, fuck, you’re so good—how are you so good”. Dahyun doesn’t need to answer that—it’s not like she can, anyway; she’s too busy moaning and screaming. “Oppa, I—”, she interrupts herself with a scream when your cock hits a particular spot, “fuck, please let me cum with you”.

You know how you can help her achieve that: by putting her in a mating press—your favorite position to fuck Xinyu in. She appears to know what to do, as shown by how she’s holding her legs back to give you all the space you need. “Yes, daddy, yes”, she approves of your actions, “please, I’m so close, daddy”. You don’t know how close you are, but that’s of little importance right now; you’re trying to send Dahyun flying across the finish line. “Cum for me, baby—be a good girl for me”, you say with troubled breaths.

It's as if your words had control over her body; she announces that she’s about to explode shortly after you told her to cum and be a good girl. Unlike at the resort, she can scream to her heart’s content now (fuck the neighbors, by the way). You retreat from her warmth while her orgasm takes her to the 7th floor of the sky. You lie next to her and pet her head gently, throwing praises at her as you do.

“Wait here, okay? I have some stuff for you”. You get off the bed and get dressed; you want to give Xinyu’s parcel to Dahyun now, just in case you forget tomorrow. When you walk out of her unit, you see one of her neighbors—a female, a bit older than you probably—standing in front of her door, as if waiting for you. “Ah, you must be Dahyun-ie’s new boyfriend”, she says, “please keep it down, okay? It’s been a long week, and I want to rest”. “I’m sorry, miss; we’ll keep it in mind”, you smile and bow in respect before continuing your way to your car—a part of your brain wonders if the lady heard Dahyun say “daddy”, and the probability of it makes your cheeks turn red.

You quickly fetch the parcel and some water bottles and make your way back to Dahyun’s unit. You saw her unlock the door, so you know what her passcode is. “0, 8, 0, 1, 0, 3”, you mumble as you press each number, and the lock unlatches right after, “right, cool”. You put the bag on the sofa before checking up on her—you also make the time to check your phone, in case Xinyu texted or something, and apparently there’s none. “I wonder what’s going on in your head, sweetie”, you say to yourself, letting out a sigh after, “right, need to tend to Dahyun-ie”.

You open the bedroom door and find her asleep, still naked and sweaty. You walk back to the sofa and grab some water for her. “Sweetie”, you poke her tummy to wake her up, “I have some water for you”. “I’m tired, oppa”, she says in a weak voice. You help her sit and guide the bottle to her mouth, and she parts her lips slightly to let water into her mouth. “Why are you not naked, oppa? Are we done? Do you not want to cum?”, she fires a barrage of questions at you.

“You’re tired, though.”

“No, I’m not”

“Oh, please, you were literally sleeping.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was just waiting for you to come back from God-knows-where.”

You realize you can’t defeat her when she’s this insistent; “okay, fine—how do you want me now?”

“I should be asking that question—how do you want me, oppa?”

You flip her over and drag her by the legs until she’s bent over the edge of the bed. “Do you mind if I do it in this position?". “Not at all”, she says, “fuck me again, oppa”. As you’re getting undressed, you’re reminded of your little meeting with her neighbor. “Sweetie, the lady next door heard us—she told us to keep it down”, you forward the message to Dahyun. “Lady next door? Haseul-unnie?”, she laughs, “as if she doesn’t get loud every time her fiancé is banging her in the ass”. You’re perplexed, “how do you know she was taking him in the ass?”. “How can I not?”, she says, “she keeps screaming you’re in my ass every single time they have anal”.

Well, shit, now you’re not sure if your boner is from imagining Miss Haseul taking her fiancé in the ass or if it’s from Dahyun bending over in front of you, but since you can’t fuck Miss Haseul, you’ll use it to fuck Dahyun instead. You clear your throat and shake your head to get your focus back. You then hold your cock in one hand and hold Dahyun’s waist in the other. “Are we ready?”, you ask, and she hums in response.

Dahyun jolts at the first contact; “gently, please; I’m sensitive”. You nod—even though she can’t really see you—and slowly ease your way into her pussy until you’re fully enveloped by her, earning soft moans from her at the end. “So big, so big”, she mindlessly chants, “how are you so big, oppa?”. “Dad’s genes”, you grit your teeth thanks to how tight Dahyun feels post-orgasm, “fuck, I can’t take this anymore”.

With the way she’s gripping you, you just want to keep pounding away until you bust—speaking of busting, you haven’t asked where she wants your cum, so you take the chance to do so now. “I’m fertile”, is the answer you get, and as amazing as it is to cum inside, cumming inside a fertile girl doesn’t sound like the best idea right now, so you take a mental note to pull out when it’s time to bust.

You close your eyes and slap her butt a few times before slamming into her with all your might. “Fuck, I’m close”, you announce. You’re shocked when you hear Dahyun scream from the top of her lungs, so you open your eyes and make out of the situation: she’s putting her index finger in her ass while your hips are crashing into her butt cheeks. “Here, I’ll help”, you coat your index finger with your spit and shove it into her rear, stretching it further. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”, she can only scream out profanities as you’re stimulating her in two holes at once, and you must admit, this is very naughty and arousing at the same time.

You want to increase the chance of having Dahyun cum with you, so you snake your other hand around her thighs and start rubbing her nub recklessly while still fucking her ass with your finger—fingers, rather; you’re forcing your middle finger into her rear. “Fuck, that hurts so good—please, more”, she says, her voice weak from exhaustion—perhaps overstimulation, too. You’re given the idea to spread your two fingers, the same way you’d spread them when fingering a girl’s pussy. “IT HURTS, OPPA! IT HURTS!”, she reacts the exact way you hoped. “If you can’t—oh, fuck—if you can’t take this, you can’t take my penis”, you say while your fingers are still making scissoring motions in her ass.

You almost failed to notice that you’re about to cum because you were so busy playing with Dahyun’s asshole—luckily for you, however, your brain manages to remind you in time. You retreat from her pussy and her ass while yelling out a profanity, and true enough, you start spurting cum all over her butt cheeks, some of them dripping down her thighs. While all of this is happening, she’s squirting like a fountain and her legs are shaking. With the last bit of your energy, you help her get comfortable and join her in bed after for a quick cuddle.

“We’re done, baby”, you say after getting yourself together, “we can rest now”. You can feel how fast Dahyun’s heart is beating and how sweaty she is on your skin, and you’d like to think that this is a sign of a job well done. “I-I’m tired”, she weakly says, “you used me like I was a cheap slut”. Truthfully, that doesn’t sound like a good thing, but she says that it is—she was trying to imply how rough you were. “Y-you haven’t fucked my ass y-yet”, she unnecessarily reminds you. “With—hah, fuck—with the way you reacted to my fingers, I’m not putting my penis in there”, you deflect, “let’s just rest for now, please”.

Bzzt bzzt

In your sleep, you hear your phone, that’s sitting on the bedside table, vibrating, so you grab it. The way your phone lights up in the dark bedroom makes you squint, but you manage to see that it’s Xinyu—she’s calling you in the middle of the night, presumably because she can’t sleep. You carefully move Dahyun off your body and sneak out of the bedroom to pick up the call.

“Hello, this is Jung Jisung.”

“Hello, this is Zhou Xinyu.”

“Are you okay, baby?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I can’t sleep, oppa. It feels weird to not have you in bed with me.”

“I’m sorry, baby”

“I’m starting to regret suggesting you this idea, actually—when are you coming home, oppa?”

You move your phone from your ear so that you can see the time: 01:10, it says.

“Probably in a few hours, babe”

“Ugh, fine”, Xinyu airs her annoyance, “I won’t sleep until you’re here.”

“No, please don’t do that”, you air your disapproval, “please try to sleep, baby—look, I’ll come home before 9.”

“Don’t worry about me, oppa. I’ll just turn on my laptop and study or something—you should go back to Dahyun-ie.”

You’re starting to feel really bad, but your sleepover at Dahyun’s place isn’t quite done yet. “Is that Xinyu-unnie?”, Dahyun’s voice startles you. “Oh my God, fuck”, you sigh, “yes, this is Xinyu—babe, Dahyun-ie is here”. Xinyu asks you to put her on speaker, so you do so.

“Unnie, hello”

“Hi, Dahyun-ah. How are you?”

“I’m tired, unnie”

“Did oppa fuck you too hard?”

Dahyun looks at you as she tries to come up with an answer.

“K-kind of.”

You hear Xinyu laugh over the phone, probably amused with you and Dahyun.

“Well, I’m glad, because otherwise all of this is a waste. Anyway, I’ll go now—I’ll find something to do.”

“You should try going to sleep, baby”, you say to Xinyu, hoping that she’ll listen to you.

“No you, no sleep”, Xinyu says, “Dahyun-ah, ask oppa about a peace package—I have some stuff for you. Goodbye, you two.”

Xinyu hangs up the phone right after, leaving you with Dahyun in the dim living room, in the middle of the night. “What peace package, oppa?”, she asks. You point at the plastic bag on the other side of the sofa and tell her to open it. “What is—oh my God, chocolate? Chips? These are my favorites, oppa”, she digs through the bag and sees the small, folded piece of paper sitting in the bottom, “what is this?”. She unfolds the paper and starts reading its content out loud.

“Dear Seo Dahyun

This is Zhou Xinyu, the girlfriend of Jung Jisung.

First, I want to make it clear that I don’t hate you. I understand why you fell in love with my boyfriend, and while I can’t let you steal him from me, I’m letting him see you one last time so that the two of you can “break up” properly.

Now, I’m sure you understand why I don’t want to lose my boyfriend; the things that made you fall in love with him are the same ones that make me keen on keeping him mine.

Lastly, I’d like to apologize for slapping you at the resort. I was just so angry to hear that the two of you had been fooling around behind me. Once again, I do not hate you. I’ve forgiven you the same way I’ve forgiven my boyfriend.

With love,

Xinyu”

Dahyun folds the paper into its previous shape and puts it back in the bag. “How kind”, she says, “yeah, thanks, unnie—thank you as well, oppa”. She takes your hand and pulls, signaling to you to stand up, so you do so, and she wraps her arms around your body. “I love you so much, oppa”, she softly says, “can we go back to bed? We still have time until you need to go home”.

You climb onto the bed, and Dahyun climbs onto your body. “Oppa”, she taps your chest lightly, “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow—I mean, today”. You were about to ask, “what work”, but you’re promptly reminded that her parents run a restaurant, and just like them, she can’t really take a break. “Okay, so?”. “Please fuck me again so that I can tell my parents that I’m tired, because I will be”. She moves to sit on your lap and starts stroking you to get you hard. “Please, oppa. One more round”, she sounds very desperate, “this will be our last, I promise”. You sigh, “okay, fine; one more time”.

Dahyun lifts her butt off your lap and guides your cock into her pussy, moaning softly as she does. “Your girlfriend is so lucky, oppa; she gets to get fucked by this big cock of yours all the time—oh, fuck, yes”, she says. “We always say that—oh, fuck”, you’re cut off when she rolls her hips, the same way Xinyu usually does it, “we’re lucky to be with each other—oh, fuck, you’re so good at this”. “S-stop thinking about her, oppa”, she protests, and you want to remind her that she was the one who brought it up, but that’ll probably kill the mood, so you zip it and just enjoy the moment.

As she’s bouncing up and down on your cock, you notice how her tits are also bouncing, as if teasing you. You move your hands from her waist and put it on her tits, playing with them to your heart’s content. Dahyun approves of this, placing her hands over yours, “you like them, oppa? You like how perfect they are for you?”. You really want to put them in your mouth, so you move to sit and bend forward until your mouth can reach them. “Oh, yes, daddy”, the daddy kink makes a return when you start sucking on her tits, “just stay with me and don’t come back to your girlfriend at this point”. You think that it’s just heat-of-the-moment thing, so you let it pass; you don’t want to keep bringing up the same thing repeatedly.

“Oh, fuck”, Dahyun stops abruptly after a few minutes, the exhaustion apparent on her face, “I’m tired, daddy; fuck me, please”. Fucking her from below is exhausting, and you know you’ll run out of energy before she can cum, so you ask her to get off and bend over the edge of the bed like earlier.

Once she’s comfortable with her position, you stand behind her and take a good look at her curves—fuck, that butt looks very plump and tasty. You gather your might and spank her hard, earning a scream of pain and surprise. “Oh, that hurts, daddy”, she whines, rubbing the spot you slapped to cope with the pain. Seeing that she’s distracted, you take other hand and slap the other butt cheek, thus earning another scream. “Fuck, that hurts, daddy—please, it hurts”, she whines again.

You commit yourself to not think too much this time, since it’ll be the last time you’re doing this. Dahyun has proved to be able to take minimal intrusion in the rear, so you slather spit on your index and middle finger and slowly ease them into her ass. “Fuck! Fuck!”, she lets out screams due to the stimulation. You use your free hand to press down on the back of her head, “quiet, you—remember what your neighbor said”. “Y-yes, daddy”, her voice is muffled, but it’s still loud enough for you to hear.

“Fuck, where is the lube?”, you look around the dark bedroom for the white bottle, “ah, shit, it’s behind me”. “One second, baby”, you move into a position that allows you to reach it, barely able to grab it. The sound of the cap snapping open doesn’t seem to reach her ears, as she’s still letting out moans and grunts from the ass play. You slather lube recklessly all over your cock and throw the bottle onto the bed after. Dahyun lets out a sigh of relief when you remove your fingers from her rear—if only she knew what’s coming next. With your lubed-up cock in hand, you spread her butt and guide your cock towards her rear. She lets out a surprised gasp when she feels the tip of your cock on her entrance, “are you going to fuck my ass, daddy? Are you going to pop my last cherry?”. Without saying a word, you move your hips forward and force your way into her ass, and Dahyun can’t do anything else aside from pressing her face into the bed. The tightness makes you grit your teeth, “you’ve never put anything in here, have you? Fuck, you’re so tight, baby”.

You lean forward and plant your hands in the bed, eager to fuck Dahyun’s ass into the morning. “Remember: don’t be too loud”, you remind her. “Y-yes, daddy—OH, FUCK!”. Well, there she goes, screaming from the top of her lungs when your cock is fully in her ass—so much for “keeping it down”. You slowly move your cock back and forth in her ass until you think that she’s gotten used to it, because even if you’re impatient, you don’t want to hurt her more than this.

“Nghh, nghh”, is all the sound that she makes as your cock hits the deepest points of her ass with every pump. “You’re doing great, baby”, you praise her, “fuck, you’re doing so fucking great”. “I’m yours, I’m yours”, she chants softly, “fuck my ass, daddy; make it hurt”. You retreat as far back as you can without pulling out and slam roughly into her ass in one go, earning another scream of pain. “Oh, please, make it hurt, daddy”, she eggs you on. “Bet”.

You straighten your back again because you figure that you’ll be able to thrust harder like this. You match the rhythm of your spanks with your thrusts, making sure that she’s well-stimulated. “Daddy, daddy”, she asks for your attention, “you’re stretching my ass, daddy”. Well, yes, you can see that, but it’s fine; sometimes—if not most of the time—stating the obvious during sex is good.

Taking someone in the ass from behind (especially during your first time) proves to be difficult, and Dahyun is learning that first-hand. She can’t control how hard and deep you’re fucking her, as she’s just stuck lying in bed as you’re stretching her ass with your shaft. “Fuck, it hurts—it hurts so fucking bad”, the thought runs in her head endlessly as you pump her ass (seemingly) endlessly, “c’mon, Seo Dahyun, you can do this—make him happy”. When there is will, there is way; Dahyun, to your surprise, starts fucking herself on your cock, matching the timing with your thrusts.

“FUUUUCK! OH, OH, FUCK! IT HURTS! DADDY, PLEASE!”, she’s no longer holding in her screams, and you’re starting to feel concerned. You pull your cock out of her ass and move to soothe her, feeling apologetic. “I’m sorry, baby—fuck, I’m so sorry”, you softly run a palm up and down her back, “we can stop right here, baby”. You help her get on the bed, and she instantly squirms around while palming her asshole, seemingly in so much pain.

This is the problem with having little experience, because you’re now clueless as to how you can help her cope with the pain. “Daddy, it hurts”, tears start flowing out of her eyes and onto her cheeks, “it hurts so much, daddy”. “Fuck, I’m so sorry for that, baby”, you pull her in for a hug, feeling very regretful—sure, it was her idea and all that, but considering that: (a) a penis doesn’t belong in someone’s ass, (b) it was her first time, and (c) you were doing it rough, the burden of guilt is equally heavy—if not heavier—on you. “Did-did you like that, though? Y’know, taking my cherry?”, she still has the energy to think about your pleasure—how touching. Truthfully, you’re not sure what to say to that, but she probably wants to hear you say yes, so you say yes; “I did, baby; you’re so fucking amazing”. “I-I’m glad—oh, fuck, my ass is on fire”, she replies, still rubbing her ass with her palm.

“Huh? What time is it?”

The sun is up, its light filling the bedroom where you and Dahyun are in. You look to your left and see that she’s still sleeping peacefully, and you’re reminded of the situation before you fell asleep with her. You spread her butt cheeks gently and check on her asshole. “Doesn’t seem to be wounded or anything—fuck, I hope she’s fine”, you think to yourself as you inspect the result of your, uh, work.

You get off the bed and grab your phone to see the time; 8:20, it says—only a bit more to go before you can go home to your girlfriend. Your brain wants to get a shower, and you almost forgot that this isn’t your apartment. “Oh, fuck, need to wake her up”. You poke her cheek repeatedly to wake her up, and you see that she’s gradually opening her eyes. “Good morning, baby”, you greet her with a smile and cheek rubs, “do you want to shower?”. She nods slightly, “help me shower, oppa”.

You carry her in your arms and walk towards the bathroom with her—oh, hey, she has a bathtub. You open the toilet and make her sit on it. “Are you okay? Is your butt still in pain?”, you ask while kneeling in front of her, concerned about her well-being. She shakes her head, “I think I’m fine, oppa—fuck, you were going crazy last night”. “Well, it was more like this morning but yes”, you try to make a little joke, “I’m so sorry for that, baby”. She shakes her head again, “no, you don’t have to; I offered you my ass and you took it—the responsibility is mine as much as it is yours”.

You give her a peck before standing up and observing the layout of the bathroom; there’s a shower on the wall above the bathtub. “How do you usually shower, baby?”, you ask. She tells you that she usually just stands up in the bathtub under the shower and lets water run all over her body. “Let’s use the bathtub today, oppa”, she suggests, so you plug the drain and let water the tub for a few minutes.

You kneel in front of her again and show her a smile, “hi, baby.”

“Hi, oppa”, she returns the smile twice as sweetly to you, “you’re having a boner.”

“Yes, I can feel that—just my morning wood; no big deal.”

“What about my first time having anal, oppa? Is that a big deal, or no?”

“Of course, baby; every first time is a big deal.”

“Maybe I’ll start training my ass after this. I want to be able to take guys in the ass.”

“I mean, your body, your choice—but I’d say don’t do it too often; just the thought of you forcing things up your ass makes my heart ache.”

“Says you, who literally fucked my ass”, she chuckles, “but sure, I get your point. You’re such a sweet guy, oppa.”

Dahyun comes in for a kiss, and you welcome her warmly. “Even if I can’t have you for now, oppa, I will always be ready for you to come running to me”, she says with hopefulness in her voice. “I’m not cheating on Xinyu ever again, but yes, I get your point”, you say with a smile, hoping that it sounds rational to her.

Dahyun sees that the tub is decently filled with water, so she tells you to add some body wash into it and mix it around. “Let’s have a bath, oppa”, she says. You lift her and gently place her in the bathtub before joining her in it. “Let me take care of you, oppa”. She moves to sit on your lap and takes you in her pussy for a quick morning sex. “Fuck, it’s way easier to have normal sex”, she says between moans. “It was your idea to have anal sex, baby”, you remind her, “you’re such a crazy girl”. “I know—now quiet, please; I want to ride you”.

Now that the both of you are fully dressed, you’re now ready to say goodbye to her. You ask her to sit on the sofa and get on one knee in front of her. “Baby, listen to me, please”, you hold her hand and call her by a pet name one last time, “thank you for loving me, seriously. I know that we can’t be together for now, but I can feel how sincere your love is. You really deserve to be with someone who loves you unconditionally”. Dahyun accepts your kind words with a precious smile. “Thank you for everything, oppa. If you’re really not meant for me, then I hope that one day I’ll find someone like you”, she says, her eyes glassy. “No, baby; you deserve someone that’s better than me”.

You get on your feet, and Dahyun does the same. She wraps an arm around yours as you make towards her front door. “Can I walk with you to your car, oppa?”, she asks. “You don’t have to, baby—you should just rest”, you stop at the doorway and look at her, “goodbye, Dahyun-ah. It’s been such a pleasure”. “Goodbye, oppa. I’ll see you around”, she replies. You come in for a quick kiss before walking out of her apartment and closing the door behind you.

As soon as you enter your apartment, you see that Xinyu is sleeping at the dinner table. She hears your footsteps and starts opening her eyes slowly. “Welcome home, cheater”, she says weakly, “now I can finally sleep in peace”. You know what she means, and you lift her from her seat and carry her to the bedroom. You gently lower her onto the bed before reaching for the AC remote. She’ll be sleeping through the afternoon, so in case it gets hot, you turn on the AC for her. “Good morning, oppa”, she says, “how was it?”. “I’d like to think that it was successful”, you pull her into your arms, “she’s fine, I’m fine, and you’re fine”. “Did you—”, a yawn cuts her off, “did you cum in her?”. “No, I didn’t”, you say, “she said she was fertile, and I didn’t want to risk getting her pregnant”. “Good thinking”, Xinyu pecks your cheek, “okay, I’ll sleep now—see you in a few hours, oppa”.

#girl group smut #kpop smut #triples smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #male reader #smut #male reader smut

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nurse-floyd · 7 months ago

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Broken Promises - Part 2

Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader

Anon request: I wanted to make a request for an angst by Charles Leclerc, where they have an argument because he has been very distant but he doesn't want to accept it and end up saying hurtful things without knowing how to fix things later.

I took this request and ran with it deciding it would be a good continuation of this fic

Warning: mentions of crash, ICU and hospital stays. Angst with a sweet ending.

The evening spent with Max had been amazing, if you were being honest you dreaded going back to your apartment to the loud noise and people and just wanted to spend it by the ocean with him. He managed to convince you…or maybe it was the birthday cake that was waiting. It was definitely the cake.

He led you back to your apartment and you managed to sneak back in, Arthur and Lorenzo had kept your guests entertained and told them you needed a moment. Turns out the break was exactly what you needed, and of course you were still mad at your brother but it didn’t matter tonight. You smiled as Max brought out your cake and you made a wish before blowing out your candles. The pair of you cut a slice to save to enjoy later when all of your guests had gone for the night.

The next morning you woke up to a text from Charlies and your bad mood started all over again.

Charlie: I hope you enjoyed the night, Arthur and Lorenzo said it was good. I’m so sorry once again.

You didn’t care for his apologies. You were done with him and his promises.

He must have seen that you’d opened his message but didn’t reply because the next thing you knew his caller ID was lighting up your screen.

“What?”

“Is that any way to speak to your brother, sœurette?”

The tone of his voice just irritated you in a way only one of your brothers could. How could he speak to you like that after how he treated you yesterday.

“What do you want, Grand frère?” You almost spat the pet name you use for him.

“I told you I was sorry, y/n. Did you have a good time?”

“No, Charlie. I didn’t. I wanted you there. You promised me. Arthur and Lorenzo were there and Max. The only reason I didn’t cancel was because he convinced me.”

Charles knew there was no point arguing with you further when you were like this and he’d been beating himself up ever since he’d sent that text; but duty called. He had to work and he couldn’t get out of it, especially with how last minute his team had called him in.

He sighed, “will I be seeing you at the race this weekend?”

“Yes. Unlike you, I keep my promises. I’ll be there, but not for you Charlie. I’m going for Max.”

“Y/n wait-”

You didn’t bother listening to what he had to say, “goodbye Charles.” You hung up, cringing at the use of his full name. You never called him Charles.

Max walked into the kitchen where you were sitting at the breakfast bar and kissed you as he passed. “Was that Charles?”

“Yeah, just asking if I was coming to the race this weekend.”

“You need to for-”

“If you say forgive him so help me Verstappen,” you warned slightly playfully but also not wanting or willing to forgive your brother just yet.

He held his hands up in surrender, “just, don’t give him too much of a hard time, he’s probably been beating himself up over it.”

You knew Max was right, but still he’d hurt you. Two days later as you made your way through the paddock holding onto Max’s hand you decided to forgo seeing Charles, he was probably too busy anyway. You both made your way to the Red Bull hospitality tent avoiding Ferrari and Charles at all costs.

Luck, however, wasn’t in your favor. Charles had heard about your arrival and seen it on his socials. He’d seen you in your Red Bull jacket and baseball cap, not a hint of Ferrari red on you. Usually you’d have a piece of merch from both of the drivers in your life, wanting to support the pair of them; but you knew this would piss him off. This was a final act of defiance to show how much you were still angry with him.

You knew you’d gone too far when you saw a red shirt moving through the crowd of blue. Charles was in your face before you had a chance to react, “Why are you doing this?” your brother asked. You’d never seen him look so angry and hurt; maybe now he’d understand how you felt the last three years. “I’m your brother and you’re not even supporting me, how is that going to look to the fans?”

“To the fans? Is that all you care about? Maybe now you know how it feels to have your own sibling not show up for you. Besides, I’m not here to only support you Charlie, Max is my boyfriend and I support him too. He is just as important to me.”

His face fell, “you know what? I’m done. Do whatever you want y/n but just don’t expect me to be okay with it.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you watched him walk away.

The few people who were around for your argument slowly went back to their business leaving you alone. Charles nearly slammed into Max as he left the tent to prepare for the race.

“Charles?” He called but his friend ignored him. He turned back to see you nearly in tears and rushed to your side.

“What happened?” he asked as he put his arm around you to lead you to somewhere more private, where prying ears couldn’t listen in.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just get you ready for the race, yeah?” You wiped your tears and turned your attention to him.

You made your way to the monitors and placed the headset on your ears, standing with the rest of the Red Bull team as the formation lap began. Then it was lights out.

Max pulled away first, closely followed by Lando, Carlos and Charles. They battled for first place as they inched round the first corner. It always made you nervous seeing your brother so close to the other drivers but thankfully they made it through unscathed.

You could tell Charles was driving aggressively, the way he inched closer to the McLaren’s on the corners and pushed his car to the limit as he overtook them. You watched nervously, trying to focus on enjoying the race, Charles knew what he was doing.

Suddenly, a gasp went through the room and time seemed to go in slow motion as Charles' car clipped the back of Lando's, sending it into a horrific flip. Charles’ car somersaulted through the air before it finally crashed down and skidded to a halt, only stopped by the wall.

Your heart was in your throat as you waited for any signs of life. “What’s going on? Is he responding?” You asked as you all watched on in shock.

“We don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You called back, you wanted nothing more than to rip the headset off and run to the Ferrari garage. You heard the red flag being called and the cars were called back to the garage, but your focus was on the screens as you watched the medical car rush to the scene.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but Max had made it back and was at your side. He walked you over to the Ferrari garage where you were met with red rimmed eyes as they tried to get any information from the track medics. Max could tell you were in shock. He kept tight hold of you, his touch a grounding presence as you waited for any news.

One of Charles’ engineers made his way over to you and Max as he noticed you standing there. “The medics are with him now, he’s alive but he’s unconscious. They’re working on getting him out.”

You finally let the tears you’d been holding fall. If it weren’t for Max holding you up you would have fallen to the floor right there. The race was called off, none of the drivers wanting to continue after that.

You were in a state of panic, your breaths coming in short painful gasps. You wanted nothing more than to be with your brother. “I need to go with him. Let me go!” You cried.

Max held you tight against his chest, his own face etched with concern for his friend. “We’ll go to the hospital. I’ll get us there, okay? He’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“You don’t know that,” you looked up at him, tears still streaming freely down your face. Your mind was a whirlwind of guilt and worry. The last words you’d both spoken to each other ran over and over through your head. You couldn’t let this stupid argument be the last thing you both said to each other.

When you got to the hospital, the news wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You wanted nothing more than to go into his hospital room and see him sitting up; to be able to tell him how sorry you were and how you hated fighting with him. The news wasn’t good though. Your brother was in the ICU, unconscious and his condition though stable was critical. You sat in the waiting room, your hand in Max’s as you waited for a nurse to bring you back to see your brother.

Hours felt like days before a doctor and nurse finally approached you and Max. They updated you on his injuries and you were finally allowed to see him. Your heart broke as you saw him through the window hooked up to various tubes, machines and wires.

You hid your face in Max’s chest as your tears fell once more, not being able to look at how broken he looked. You weren’t sure how you even had any tears left to shed.

“I should have been there for him. I shouldn’t have said those things. He wouldn’t have been driving so recklessly -“

Max cut you off, “we all drive like idiots sometimes, it’s the nature of the sport. This wasn’t your fault. He knows how much you love him.”

You nodded, knowing he was right but the guilt was still there.

“Do you want to go in and see him? I can come with you or stay out here?” Max asked.

You nodded and gripped your boyfriend's hand tighter as you both entered his ICU room. All you could do was sit and wait and pray. Pray for Charles to wake up, pray for a chance to make things right.

You sat by his side, never leaving. You barely slept, your eyes fixed on your brother, willing with everything you had for him to wake up. As the days went by the news was getting better, the machine breathing for him was removed and he was showing signs of recovery, but he still hadn’t woken up.

It was late into the third night when you felt his hand tighten around yours. You thought you had imagined it at first but your heart leapt when his fingers twitched around yours once more and his eyes began to flutter open. You jumped to your feet, tears flowing down your face once more but this time out of relief.

“Charlie?” You called hopefully, your voice thick with emotion.

Charles blinked against the harsh bright lights, disoriented but a small smile came across his lips as his gaze landed on yours.

He coughed weakly, his voice raspy from disuse, “y/n?”

“I’m here. I’m right here, Charles,” you reassured, smoothing his hair back.

He looked at her with a small smile playing at his lips despite everything he’d just been through, “you’re wearing a Ferrari hoodie?”

You let out a shaky laugh, tears still streaming down your face, “couldn’t exactly be representing Red Bull at a time like this.”

He laughed, followed by a groan.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. I am so sorry for everything. For my birthday and the fight…”

Charles squeezed your hand weakly, “I’m sorry too. I should have been there, I promised and the fight at the race…I just wanted your support as well. I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt you.”

“None of that matters now. I’m just glad you’re awake. I just need you to be okay.”

Charles nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’ll be okay and I promise I will make it up to you,” he held up his pinky which you linked with yours.

You both stayed like that for a moment, your hand clasped in his. Max stood at the doorway happy to see his friend awake and the pair of you making up.

As the doctors finished their checks and left the room, you sat down beside Charles, holding his hand.

“You scared the shit out of me, you know? Why were you driving like a dumbass?”

Charles let out a small chuckle, “not my finest moment, huh?”

“No, but you’re going to be okay and that’s all that matters. We can figure everything else out later.”

Charles nodded, his grip on your hand growing a bit stronger. “Yeah, we will. Together.”

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Together.”

The road to recovery wasn’t going to be easy for him but you knew he’d be back to racing and annoying you in no time. He was going to be okay and you two would work through your issues when he was better. That’s all that mattered.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #leclerc!reader #max verstappen x leclerc!reader #mine #beth writes #my writing

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reverie-starlight · 5 months ago

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{one moment - m. atsumu}

this was supposed to be a little one off ramble post, but ofc I couldn’t just leave it at that. it needed its own fic.

gn!reader, no physical descriptions, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF!!!!! head over heels, falling in love. I realized that I almost never write fics where the relationship isn’t already years in/established, so this was a nice change of pace. there’s not much dialogue in this one, it’s more descriptive. trying a new format as well.

whenever you thought back to the early stages of falling in love with atsumu, there was always one moment in particular that stood out as the moment you knew you were done for. the moment you realized that however your relationship with atsumu was meant to unfold- for better or for worse- you were absolutely screwed.

the two of you are sitting in the café at the halfway point between where he practices with the jackals and your university campus. the very same café where you happened to nurture your friendship into more for months before he finally asked you out.

you’re on a date, only your third or fourth officially as two people who are dating, and conversation is flowing. it always does with him, you’ve come to realize. he doesn’t let silence linger between topics, but he doesn’t force it away either. any lulls you come across feel… comfortable.

he feels comfortable- you like spending time with him, he’s good company. and he’s never boring, that’s for sure.

“so,” he starts before taking a sip of his coffee. “how were your classes today?”

you shrug your shoulders. “not that entertaining, I’m afraid. I’m sorry, I should’ve known better than to come unprepared,” you joke. “I guess I didn’t learn anything interesting enough today.”

normally when you meet after class, he asks you to teach him one thing you remember covering in your lectures. something he apparently used to do when his brother was enrolled in a business course, you recall.

he points a piece of croissant at you. “I’ll forgive ya this time, sweetheart, but you’re on thin ice.”

a smile creeps up on your lips at his use of the nickname, and he pretends not to notice, letting you pass it off as a reaction to his ‘threat’ instead. “how was practice?”

he beams with pride. “it was great, he speaks with such enthusiasm that it’s hard to focus on his words. you’re more interested in how he lights up talking about his passion than the actual specifics of his improved serves right now.

you hope he looks like that talking about you one day.

“I’m happy to hear it, ‘tsum,” you say sincerely when he’s done with his rambling.

conversation continues for a bit longer before it happens. you don’t even remember what was said leading up to this moment, but you hope you do one day so that you can repeat it and get the same reaction.

it’s just like a scene from a movie- he pauses to take in whatever you’ve just said before throwing his head back and laughing like you’ve never heard him laugh before.

the sunset peeks between the buildings outside and hits him through the café window at the perfect angle. the soft light that bathes him in such warmth, mixed with the sound of his laugh almost makes you believe he’s emitting it himself. his eyes are closed, his shoulders are shaking and he’s just glowing.

you actually need to stop and catch your breath while you watch him because he’s gorgeous. you’ve always known it, it’s a hard quality to miss, but now you feel it, too. the full effects of miya atsumu.

your heart beats out of your chest, your hands shake as you press them to your butterfly-filled stomach-

and then you realize that no matter how this… thing with atsumu progresses…

you’re absolutely screwed.

and just as he stops laughing, the light moves away from his face. you’re still not entirely sure it wasn’t just him glowing, but you’ll leave that investigation for another time.

he looks at you for a moment as he settles down and you do your best to hold his gaze without giving away your admiration.

eventually the sun positions itself in a way that makes you squint, so you busy yourself with sweeping up some of the table’s crumbs into your palm and transferring them to your empty plate.

atsumu’s eyes have yet to leave your face and it’s making you more nervous than you've ever needed to be around him.

the intimidating thought that he might be admiring you in the sun the way you had been doing to him moments ago runs through your mind.

this is the longest moment of silence you’ve ever had with him, and of course it’s still not awkward. it’s just… heavier. like you’ve both come to some sort of realization and don’t know how to approach it.

but of course, in typical atsumu fashion, he jumps headfirst into the deep end. he doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. an admirable quality.

if he weren’t already an established volleyball player, you think he’d make a fine olympic diver.

“do you…” you snap your head up when he starts to say something, but he stops and seems to think something over.

he tries again. “I know we’ve been datin’ for a little bit now…”

your heart flutters in your chest and the nerves you worked so hard to suppress come racing back into your system. despite everything, you nod to encourage him to keep going.

“do ya want to make it official? can we… would ya let me be yer boyfriend?” his voice wavers a bit and you learn that his accent grows a bit thicker when he’s nervous.

you freeze, needing to take in the fact that he’s nervous and seemingly over you.

and then you take in his words, realizing he’s waiting for a response. the ball is in your court.

despite sitting on a throne settled upon a pile of your stacked up fears of this ending poorly, you’d be a fool to mess it up. you’d be crazy to miss out on something wonderful because you’re busy focusing on the probable non-existent negative outcome.

so the only answer you could have possibly given him in that moment leaves your lips, accompanied with a bright smile as the pile is reduced to ashes. “yes, I would love that.”

you did learn something today, something more valuable than you could ever learn in one of your classes- how one moment can change everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m actually lowkey proud of this one!! it’s a bit different, but I think it’s cute :3

hope you enjoyed!!

tagging: @emmyrosee @dira333 @6okuto

#atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #hq x reader #miya atsumu fluff

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screeching-bunny · 2 years ago

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Dark/yandere king x the queen's lady in waiting mc, perhaps with Anne boleyn vibes👑🌹♟️♥️

Saw the witch x priest post and I have to say that the morally grey protagonist is a really refreshing and unique take

Yandere! King pt.2

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

Pt.1

Even though you were never assigned to him Yandere! King couldn’t help but want to be by his side no matter what. You are the in-waiting for the queen, you’ve been with her for all her life and you adored her. She was strong willed and she was extremely intelligent. You’ve been by her side ever since you were young and have a tight bond with her. She was cold but you were happy to serve someone like her. Yandere! King was someone that people couldn’t be offended easily. When in his presence, everyone needed to watch their tongues if they wanted to keep it. He was a ruthless man who only cared about his own needs and goals. Even though he was married it was clear to see that the marriage was clearly political. There was no love between the two of them and they would almost daily cheat on each other. He sometimes even forgot that she existed. It was due to this loveless marriage that he became so interested in you.

Any normal person would be intimidated by this but you honestly didn’t care. If his attention would help you get a pay raise then let him stare at you all you want. In this economy, there was no way you were letting this money bag go. Something that you noticed about this man was that he was overly possessive and seemingly jealous of the things that he considered “his”. If he remotely took interest in something then it was his until he got bored and discards it. No one is dumb enough to stand in his way; he's cunning, backstabbing, and absolutely brutal. Morality means nothing when faced in his way.

Right now, your current situation was… strange. In a dining hall filled with luxurious food. There was a centerpiece in the middle of the table that no one could take their eyes off of.

“You’re majesty, please let me go! I repent, please forgive me for my sins! Please just don’t kill me!” The man screams with streams of tears pouring down his face. It was quite a pathetic sight to behold.

Yandere! King stared coldly at the man nailed down to the dining table. The look on his face could send shivers down anyone’s spine. He was absolutely pissed off right now. Aside from the man in the middle screaming, the room was filled with absolute silence as everyone held their breath. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut it with a knife.

“Your highness please have mercy on my husband! He didn’t mean to! He wasn’t in the right mind! Please forgive him!” The man’s wife begged.

“Listen to him scream like a pig. He touched someone who belonged to me. A sin like that is unforgivable.” Looking your way the king says in a menacing voice. “Tell me where he touched you.” Oh boy, you knew for sure that this was about to get very bloody. Man you really wanted to leave right now. All you could do was hope that he’d increase your salary pay after this for compensation for having to witness this. Like yeah it sucked that someone was going to die right now but there’s no way that you’re quitting. This job paid way too much and you were way too money hungry to quit.

“Tell me where did he touch you? I’ll make sure to gouge out the exact body parts to match.”

“My cheek, my neck, my waist, and my thigh”

Giving you a dismissive look, the king finally allows you to finally leave. On your way out all you could hear were the screams of the man and the sound of ripping flesh. Thank god that was over, it was starting to get annoying. Now you might be wondering where was the queen in all of this? Well, she was with her lover of course! Like I said, the king and queens marriage was only a political one. As long as they didn’t bother each other or get into the other's business, then they did not care about what the other did. It was just truly a loveless marriage.

Making your way towards the queen’s chambers you begin to perform your daily duties. Mindless tasks that bore you to death. The only reason your pay was so good was because of how fond Yandere! King is of you. Any other person in your position would only get a fraction of your wage. You were a bit thankful for this because if he ever deemed you as boring and fired you. You’d still have enough money to live a fairly decent lifestyle. Something that you’ve learned while working for the royal family was that it was always best to stay away from their personal affairs. It gets real ugly once an outsider ever decides to interfere. You honestly wished you knew this before your parents forced you to sign up for this job. Maybe it would have saved you from an annoying king?

Sometimes he’d hand you little trinkets to indulge yourself in. It seemed that he was quite fond of observing you and witnessing your reaction to new devices. With someone like him running the country most people would think that it’d be in ruins. However, he’s definitely smart and knows how to run a country. It’s thanks to him that his kingdom has one of the best economies in the world.

Even though you were primarily assigned to the queen you saw Yandere! King more than her. To you, he was an obnoxious and dangerous figure. One that can easily win wars and conquer any land he so desires. He is a very selfish man that has a habit of being physically and emotionally manipulative. To be honest you can’t say you were any better. Oftentimes you’d use people to your own benefit but he’d definitely take it to the extreme. The amount of people that he used and discarded was insane. Weakness is a word that seems to be out of his dictionary.You could never tell what exactly he was thinking, he was like an enigma. One thing you were certain about was that with the rate of his obsession he’d never leave you alone.

#yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere king #yandere oc #gn reader

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slutt4ellie · 8 months ago

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Hearts Over Hierarchy

PT2 - Love In Bloom

Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader

masterslist

PART 1 // PART 3 // PART 4

Do opposites really attract?

Summery : After Ellie asked you to go to the cabin with her friends, and you full heartedly agreed, you started to realize that maybe a friendship wasn’t the only thing the both of you had..

Warnings -> Alcohol usage / The smut is hereeeee / Fingering / Oral / Scissoring /Miscommunication (they don’t talk abt wtf their relationship is) / Implied jealously! / tiny tiny bit of smau / Obviously NSFW!! / (Lmk if I missed anything else)

WC: 5.3k

(Not proofread!)

DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸

It’s been exactly one week since Ellie invited you to go join her, and her friends in the cabin which is few hours out.

You were a bit nervous. You just blamed it on the fact that you were meeting two new people, and the fact it was just going to be the 4 of you. Alone. In the middle of nowhere.

Ellie kept reminding you they were nice, and you literally have nothing to be nervous about. But your nerves were still constantly running.

You were just on packing the last few items you needed to last your 3 day trip but before your thought process could even continue there was a few knocks.

“Y-yeah hold up!” You say walking over to the door opening it slightly. Once your are met with blue ones, you know who it is.

Emily..

Things with Emily have been so fucking awkward since she decided to give her unwanted opinion about Ellie. And you didn’t even understand why!

She was never mean, at least it was fucking rare. But when it came to Ellie, everything suddenly became so uncomfortable and unwarranted.

It’s like she was constantly trying to persuade your opinions on her, just making mini side comments. Small sighs. It was little things but you noticed it.

And Emily must have noticed the tension between the two of you because she nervously spoke.

“H-hey..” She cleared her throat noticing how her voice sounded small and scared. After she clears it her voice finally becomes more full..Either way her eyes aren’t shifting from the floor.

You talked back looking at her hands and how they’re fidgeting. “Hey..”

Emily finally made eye contact with you once again. “Are you mad at me..?”

“W-what no?” It was a white lie. To say Emily’s behaviours weren’t getting annoying was bullshit, you knew it, and she did too.

“I-I just know you’re going away with Ellie and her friends- I just don’t want us to be in bad terms.” Emily says, there’s this look in her eye which is almost unbearable..maybe sympathy, or her just pleading for forgiveness. Regardless it’s a look that you don’t see often.

“Em. We won’t be on bad terms.” You shake your head then look at her. “I promise..”

She bites her lip almost if something is resting on her tongue. You don’t want to push her to say whatever is on her mind, but subconsciously you feel like you should.

But before you can even make decision your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Your hand grabs it and your eyes shortly trail to look down.

Emily looks down at your phone too. “She here?”

You quickly clear your throat and look back up at her, you feel shitty. It almost feels like your ditching Emily but whatever she wanted to say can probably wait.

“Y-yeah she’s here!” You smile watching Emily slowly nod.

“Okay I can help you take down your suitcase.” Emily smiles causing you to shake your head and chuckle. “Em it’s okay, I got it”

“No! No I want to?” She shakes her head grabbing it.

You don’t protest it this time which causes her to smile, and once the two of you are downstairs and outside the door, you see the parked car.

There’s a man with black-ish hair, he’s sat right in the driver seat, there’s a girl beside him. You quickly take in her pretty features, and brunette hair, which is styled in a messy bun.

“That them?” Emily ask looking at you which you reply with a simple nod. “Yeah I believe..!”

Emily just smiles putting down your suitcase stepping over to give you a tight hug.

“I’ll see you in a few days?” Emily pulls back, her blue eyes not tearing away from yours. After she finishes her sentence you smile and nod. “Yep, few days!”

She then moves a loose strand behind your ear. “There’s a party when you get back by the way? Everyone is gonna be there, soooo you’re definitely going” The way Emily said it almost sounded like a command, it had a chuckle leave your lips.

“Why does that sound like your forcing me!” You smile lightly shoving her shoulder. “Cause I am! You’re coming to the party!” Emily says tilting her head.

“Okay whatever! Byeeee!” you say to Emily giving her a wave as you watch her figure go back into the sorority house.

Ellie ending up seeing that whole interaction between you and Emily. Her face was practically screwed to the window, when Emily moved that strand from your face, she almost instantly saw how you were smiling and giggling with her.

It gave Ellie unwanted feelings of jealousy which she couldn’t even understand. She doesn’t like you like that. You guys are just friends..

“So are they dating?” Jesse ask looking back at Ellie.

Ellie obviously wasn’t paying attention so he lightly shoves her shoulder.

“W-what man!” Ellie says annoyed. Pushing his hand off her shoulder.

“Are they dating?” He repeats himself, now that Ellie’s attention is finally off of you..

“T-the f-fuck I don’t know!? I haven’t asked?” Ellie says rubbing her eye not knowing what else to say.

“Who’s the girl?” Dina now chirps in looking back at Ellie.

“I-uh I don’t know?” Ellie feels stupid now realizing how much she doesn’t know about this mystery girl. She thought i’d be weird to ask you about her, and if Ellie’s being honest with herself, she doesn’t even know if she wants the answer?

“And you haven’t asked if she’s dating anyone?” Jesse chuckles looking back at Ellie.

“No because that’s weird! We’re friends man!” Ellie says quickly shaking her head, not even letting the thought breath before she turns it down.

Ellies eyes fall back on you. She sees how your walking towards the car and she hops out of the back seat super fast.

It doesn’t take long before you’re opening the trunk and Ellie’s met outside the car with you. “Hey!” Ellie smiles helping you put the suitcase in the trunk.

You look at her green eyes noticing how they’re trailing all over your face. “Hi!” Ellie slightly clears her throat. Giving you a chance to give her a tight lipped smile and reply with a “Hellooo!”

Ellie smiles and looks at you. Her eyes keep on shifting between yours. “Um I- I downloaded like some movies so we can watch them on the drive? You don’t have to though! Jus-“

You smile and nudge her shoulder lightly “You always think so deep into things, obviously I wanna watch movies” You say before closing the trunk. And thank god you did, because say you didn’t, you would have seen Ellie’s bright red face instantly noticing how flustered that one fucking sentence made her.

You quickly take notice of the two extra people in the car, taking a short deep breath which Ellie immediately notices. “Dina and Jesse are niceee! Just relax” Ellie’s says, now being the one to nudge your shoulder.

You do appreciate her reassuring words and you nod. “I’m super relaxed Williams!” Ellie chuckles shaking her head, putting up her hand’s defensively which earns a chuckle from you. “Right!”

You quickly enter the back seat and the first few minutes are filled with introductions. Dina and Jesse are super nice. Ellie was right. Not that you’d admit that to her though!

They say how Ellie’s mentioned you quite a bit which prompts Ellie’s face to turn beet red out of embarrassment. But this time you did notice it, and you fully teased her about it, you truly thought it was cute funny! Despite Ellie’s denial.

Even though you teased Ellie about it you always found ways to sneak her into the in conversation. And half the time it was accidental!..

Ellie stayed denying the whole subject, saying she barley mentions you, and how Dina and Jesse were being “dramatic!” It caused you to laugh but you dropped it.

Ellie sat in the middle seat which was ironic because she could have had more space by just sitting on the opposite end.

It would have allowed the both of you to at least have on spot away from each other. Even when you brought it up she just shook her head.

She smiled and argued that you wouldn’t be able to see her phone if she sat one seat away from you. Which to give her the benefit, that point was actually fair.

So here you are now shoulder to shoulder watching the original Jurassic Park. Which Ellie practically begged to watch despite your protest. It unfortunately didn’t take long till you finally agreed.

“Dude this shit is so unrealistic!” You say looking up from the screen facing her green eyes. You saying this causes her to instantly shake her head. “No it’s not?! It’s cool!”

“Barley!” You laugh following up. “The fucking dinosaurs don’t look real!”

“It was made in the 90s??!” Ellie argues. But you didn’t want to hear it. The movies visual effects were genuinely painful to watch.

“Okay! Still I could’ve made real looking dinosaurs!” You chuckle, which leads Ellie to smile. “Oh yeah! Totally!” Ellie shakes her head.

Your eyes fall back on the screen having some final chuckles leave your parted lips. When Ellie looks up at the front seat she sees Dina and Jesse giving each a quick “You notice it too?” Kinda look which Ellie clears her throat to finally get them to stop.

She didn’t want you to look up and notice the fact they we’re practically giving each other morse code through blinks. Dina and Jesse were being far from fucking discreet.

Ellie’s eyes look back down at the phone screen her eyes feeling slightly heavy. She yawns, and just like that she was out.

Ellie wakes up to Dina tapping her knee lightly. Her eyes flutter open, and after a few seconds Ellie finally noticed this slight weight and warmth planted on her shoulder.

And before she could even process the waking up feeling she sees your head placed conventionally right on her shoulder. Your hand was also laid flat on top of hers. Ellie felt the heat rise to her cheeks once again and Dina chuckles.

Now Ellie doesn’t waist time and she quickly pulls her hand away. She doesn’t feel like getting teased from Dina any longer and she doesn’t want you to wake up and see the weird fucking position the two of you were in.

“Sleep alright?” Jesse chuckles tilting his head and looking at your sleeping body matched with closed eyes right on Ellie’s shoulder.

“Shut up!” Ellie says in a whispered yelled straight at him before gently shaking you.

Your voice comes out light and quiet, having an inaudible sound which Ellie recognizes as a little “Hmm”

Ellie tried not to panic considering your head was still firmly placed on her shoulder. “W-we’re here” Ellie says gently shaking you again.

Your eyes finally open and when you notice you fell asleep right on Ellie’s shoulder your body shoots up mumbling a few sorry’s.

Ellie shakes her head fast. “N-no you’re good! I-I fell asleep too.”

Her words do offer you some comfort but either way you feel extremely embarrassed about the whole situation. You’re just praying she drops it, and you’ll do the same.

Your head quickly moves to the window getting a view of the cabin that you’re going to be spending the next 3 days at.

“It’s nice right?” Ellie says watching as Dina and Jesse get out walking straight to the trunk. “Yeah really nice.” You smile looking at Ellie.

Ellie gets out of her seat and you take that as a signal to do the exact same.

When Jesses eyes meets Ellie’s he gives her a smirk, he knows something is going on the two of you, at least that’s what Ellie’s assuming. It’s like he’s talking through his eyes or something.

Ellie just shakes her head and grabs your suitcase first disregarding her own.. Once she sees you get out she quickly hands it to you. “I can show your where you’ll sleep in a second?”

You just nod and make your way up the stairs. The cabin was beautiful, when you walked in it had a full open concept and huge windows giving you a full view of the forest..

Since the windows were huge you could see everything. The scenery was beautiful, it also helped since there were a few couches you could sit on. Ellie must have walked in shortly after you because you hear her voice softly talk.

“I can show you the room you’re sleeping in.” Ellie smiles as you turn around in face her. “Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

After Ellie showed you where you’d be sleeping the day quickly faded into night. You, Dina, Jesse, and Ellie we’re all sitting on the couch a few shots coursing through all of you, it had everyone a bit more loose.

The night was filled with laughs. A few drinking games, and everything felt nice. You don’t even know how it happened, or why it was happening, but as the night went on you and Ellie both got closer. Not romantic or anything crazy, like kissing or some shit? Just more along the lines of sitting beside each other in a way most people wouldn’t particularly call “platonic”.

Along the lines of knee to knee, with Ellie’s arm over your shoulder. But then again some friendships have a more physical aspect?..And that’s all you were willing to blame it on as of now.

Just a physical friendship?

You also learned when Ellie got drunk she got bolddd, which was a huge personality switch. At least in your eyes. You obviously thought this because she’s always fiddling with at least two fingers and studying every sentence before she even says it. Not to mention the stuttering would make an appearance in almost every sentence.

And as the night went on, and all 4 of you got more drunk Dina decided to spit out an amazing idea, which was going swimming!

Of course all of you having alcohol in your system so didn’t even hesitate, quickly agreeing. You and Ellie ran to your separate bedrooms and Dina and Jesse ran to their shared room.

It didn’t take long till everyone was in their bathing suits. But your eyes just went straight to Ellie, it led you to basically disregard everyone else in the room.

She had bathing suit shorts on, with a bikini styled top. When your eyes fell on hers and she saw how you observing her, insecurities rushed through her head simply because she couldn’t read what the fuck your eyes meant.

Like she couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or something different? But when she saw your face slowly bring out a tight lipped smile she knew it was fine.

You were smiling at her..

The four of you all rushed outside going down the steps which promptly led to the doc, your hand now intertwined with Ellie’s.

And to be fair It was on instinct! Since you guys were stumbling on your own feet, Ellie momentarily decided it would probably be safer if you held each others hands.

Which was super responsible!

So she quickly reached out her hand to yours.

And you didn’t hesitate to grab it back.

Sure maybe you guys didn’t need to have your fingers literally interviewed with each other! But! It offered more…grip!

“You’re jumping in!” Ellie says laughing while still holding onto your hand.

“No i’m not!” You quickly shake your head looking at straight at her.

“No?” Ellie’s hands find your shoulder and you guys are going straight to the edge of the doc.

“E-Ellie stop!” You quickly yell, your hands trailing straight to her waist in an attempt not to fall.

Ellie just chuckles, because despite your efforts she knows you’re going into the water.

And she was right.

Because as soon as your foot hit the edge of the doc you were a goner, the cold water hit your whole body instantly which covered you head to toe in goosebumps.

You quickly rose above the water and you see Ellie practically on the floor because she’s laughing so hard. “What the fuck!” You yell while laughing, still desperately trying to keep on the annoyed facade. Which was already failing when you saw Ellie smiling and laughing.

“What!” Ellie laughs looking at you. “I was just helping you in!”

You quickly shake your head and splash her. “Yeah fuck you!”

And after that moment it only took a solid 5 seconds before Ellie jumps in now splashing you..

And in no time all 4 of you guys are in the water splashing and swimming around each other.

You quickly swim up to Ellie smiling “Thank you for inviting me.” You clear your throat watching as her green eyes fall on your lips.

“I-uh know this is like your thing with your friends and shit so..-” You nod trying to show your thanks.

“Well you are my friend?” Ellie’s eyes meet yours again. She’s almost refusing to break eye contact. Which you can’t even understand why it makes you nervous. “Y-yeah well, I was talking about like a thing with you, Dina, and Jesse?”

Ellie sorta shrugs and then nods. “K well now you?” You chuckle looking at her “Huh?”

“Now your on the list? Me, Dina, Jesse, and you?” She says it like it’s obvious. Like she can’t even understand why you didn’t automatically get that.

Your gaze goes behind Ellie’s shoulder and your eyes are met with Jesse and Dina making out.

Ellie didn’t understand why your eyes were now off hers and she turns her head to see what your gaze was focused on.

Ellie turns back to you and laughs shaking her head. “Let’s leave??” She’s says asking you first, which you nod.

“Yep!” You smile getting out of the water and saying mini goodbyes to Jesse and Dina before taking her hand once again.

You notice how the feeling of being drunk was still pretty apparent. And you knew you still wanted to be close to Ellie. But you fully blamed that on being drunk. You and Ellie were literally only friends! Nothing else?

“I-I’m gonna have a shower, get the lake water off of me!” Ellie smiles, she doesn’t wanna be the first one to let go of your hands. She has this feeling with you, one that she can’t ignore, even if she wants to.

After Ellie talks you look at your fingers intertwined together giving your head a slight nod, slowly letting go of her hand. “Okay- me too..”

As you walk out of the bathroom, your hair now fresh, your body now clean and feeling a bit more sober then before, you hear faint giggles which you already know is Jesse and Dina.

But before your thoughts can even continue you see Ellie with a towel ruffling it in her wet hair. She’s now in a fresh pair of grey sweatpants and a white tee.

Since she didn’t notice you, you decided to talk first. “Hey..” Ellie stops ruffling her hair in the towel and she smiles at you. You can tell she’s also sobered up slightly because her bold persona is now faded. “H-hey”

“You going to bed?” You ask looking at her before following up. “I think Jesse and Dina are gonna be a bit busy?” You give her a short chuckle. “Gross” Ellie wrinkles her nose with an over exaggerated disgust look.

“I-yeah maybe? Are you going to bed” Ellie ask looking back at you. “No, probably not right now..?” You shake your head looking at her feeling a thump form in your throat, which you get out by clearing your throat.

“Wanna just hang out in my room” Ellie doesn’t even know how the fuck she managed to get that out without stuttering but she did! And that’s all that mattered right now.

“Y-yeah..!” You say looking at her shortly talking again. “But i’m not watching another fucking Jurassic Park movie Ellie!” You say walking into her bedroom, when she doesn’t laugh you turn around.

“I-is that girl, is she your girlfriend.” Ellie says out of nervousness. It was so random, but at this point she felt like she almost needed to know, she needed to know if she was reading into this thing between the two of you.

She knows she has a answer locked in her mind. At least the one she hopes it is, but either way. The way that girl hugged you, moved the loose strand behind your ear. It all felt so fucking real, so romantic.

“What- wait who??” You say obviously not following Ellie’s train of thought.

“The girl with the blue eyes. The one who liked- knocked on the door that night?”

Fuck..was she talking about Emily?

You would have never really associated romantic feelings with Emily. Let alone Emily being your girlfriend? Sure you two were close, but you two were friends. And since you’ve been friends with her so long? You couldn’t really understand why this was was a topic of discussion. You wanted to know why she even thought that.

“E-Emily- What no? Why do you even?-“ But before you can get a word out Ellie talks

“F-fuck I don’t know?? I mean the way she looks at you?” Ellie shakes her head, maybe she was the one reading into it? But Ellie knows what look Emily constantly gives you. It could easily be deciphered as love. Anyone with eyes could probably see that?

Despite your two pair of working eye balls, you couldn’t fucking see it, so you denied.

“Me and Emily were just friends! We’ve been friends for awhile- that’s it.” Now Ellie’s eyes are unreadable. It’s like she’s deciding something. But before you can even think about what that look might mean. “I swe-“

Ellie’s lips were suddenly on yours.

It’s like she’s worried someone might interrupt, like when the two of you almost kissed the first time.

Your hands go on Ellie’s cheek. The kisses are needy and messy. Ellie’s making little noises which are going straight into your mouth.

She moves your back against the door, her hands finding a comfortable spot on your waist. Ellie’s lips plant right on your neck. She’s kissing and sucking which is 100% going to leave marks for the morning.

But right now you don’t even care. It’s just you and her.

Ellie’s hands go to the hem of your shirt and she pulls back from the crook of your neck. “Can I..?” Her voice comes out in a faint whisper having you nod just as quick as she says it.

Ellie also doesn’t hesitate as her hands reach the bottom of your shirt hems and she pulls them up and over your head.

Ellie’s whole mind feels frozen. Because sure she’s had sex, but fuck. This was different.

When it comes to you, she’s scared she’ll fuck it up or something. “C-can I touch you..?” Ellie ask clearing her throat.

You never really had someone ask how Ellie did. When you hooked up with other girls they were so fast. Just wanting to quickly fuck and get it over with.

But with Ellie she actually fucking cared, so you nodded and the two of you move to the bed.

Ellie kisses you neck and her hand moves to the waistband of your shorts. Her hand is going in slow repeatitipve circles on your clothed clit which earns moans from you..

“Baby..Jesse and Dina- they might hear?”

The way baby slipped so easy off Ellie’s tongue just made you more fucking turned on. Her touching you over clothes wasn’t enough right now.

You needed more.

So you took it into your own hands and grabbed Ellie’s hand leading it down.

Ellie understands what you want and she complies smiling. Ellie’s eyes trail yours, she notices how your eyes screwed shut and how the back of your hand was pushing against your mouth to muffle the moans.

You open your eyes and tap Ellie’s waist lightly as she lays on her side. “Y-wearing to much El..” You moan out and look at Ellie.

And you didn’t have to tell her twice because Ellie uses her free hand and takes off her shirt so she’s in a sports bra and sweatpants.

But Ellie doesn’t stop there, she follows up by taking off her sweat pants then bra so now she’s literally just in her boxers.

You can’t help but let out a chuckle. You’ve never seen Ellie like this.

Ellie then smiles looking at you before kissing you again mumbling a short “What..”

You smile and shake your head, pulling back from the kiss. You also decide to move a few loose strands out of her face. “I didn’t say anything..?”

The way Ellie’s chest pushes against yours. How she refuses to break the kiss, swallowing your moans as she plays with your folds. Even though this is so foreign for the both of you.

It feels right.

Ellie’s hand’s travel to your bra quickly taking it off and just like that her lips are wrapped around your nipple licking the sensitive bud.

Your moans are faltered by Ellie’s index finger going straight into your mouth.

Your tongue is going all around Ellie’s finger sucking it and licking it.

Ellie’s starts to kiss down your collarbone, then chest, passing your bellybutton and waist, her fingers moving to the waistline of your pyjama shorts.

You notice how Ellie looks up at you again, subconsciously looking for permission, she doesn’t wanna accidentally step over a line regardless of how far the two of you have already gone..

As you see her greens eyes meet yours, you nod. You feel your shorts sliding down your thighs as Ellie kisses down them. “This okay baby..” She ask again getting extra clarification.

For someone who’s a stuttering mess in normal situations Ellie knows how to keep herself calm, at least that’s what you thought.

Ellie’s mind feels like it’s going thousands of miles per hour right now and she literally can’t stop it. She just has a better poker face.

Her red face is basically talking for how the fuck she feels right now. You two are so different yet you’re the one moaning for her.

You’re the one who’s wet for her.

And Ellie doesn’t wanna fucking mess this up.

The room is filled with muffled moans and pants from both ends, you start to feel as Ellie’s lips latch onto your throbbing clit.

Every noise you make equally turns on Ellie. She’s so concentrated, eyes closed, a sweat band now prominent on her forehead.

“Right there” You moan, your hand grabs a fistful of Ellie’s hair shoving her nose, lips, and tongue deeper inside your pussy.

Ellie slides her index, then middle inside your dripping cunt. Causing a loud moan to come from you mouth.

Now you’re just internally praying Jesse and Dina are heavy sleepers because if they’d head ever fucking moan leaving your body right now.

Ellie’s hands are pulling you in by your outer thighs causing a shit ton more moans to leave your mouth. “F-fuck”

As Ellie’s fingers slip in and out your overboard. It didn’t last long till you felt a huge sense of euphoria course through your veins.

Fuck you came so hard you could have sworn you saw white.

Then as Ellie’s lips came smashing back on to yours and you taste yourself on her lips you moan more.

“Baby shh” Ellie says kissing you again.

But right now all you wanted was Ellie, you wanted to feel her, in the way she felt you. So you pull down her boxers and place her thighs so they straddle yours.

Your clits now lining up which causes a pretty loud moan from Ellie..

Her body falls limp on yours, smashing her lips on you once again, basically refusing to break it kiss. Despite the fact her clit is rubbing on yours, and she can feel her self going overboard she doesn’t pull back once from the kiss. She just keeps chasing it.

You two just swallow each others moans fighting the urge not to cum.

“F-fuck baby..” Ellie moans again. “I’m so close”Ellie says against your lips.

After you hear the words “I’m so close” leave Ellie’s lips you grab her hips rocking them back and forth aggressively.

Louder and more desperate moans fill the room, both of you saying mini praises.

And that was probably the thing that sent her over the edge because in no time after you literally only called her hot, there was a loud moan followed by warm liquid leaking down your cunt.

“F-fuck” Ellie stutters out of breath. All her body weight now on you, kissing your jaw lightly

You’re also out of breath. And you can hardly believe what the fuck happened.

Because sure you just slept with Ellie, came two times, but fuck was she good.

Everything Ellie did, it just felt better then the last. You didn’t want to lose her. It felt like you couldn’t.

The way you woke up felt extremely unexpected. You feel a warm body pressed beside you, legs tangled and a pair of lips rested on your neck.

Fucking Ellie.

Her hair is now out of her normal ponytail which you hardly fucking see considering it’s only tied up. Her face is still red even though her eyes are closed and her breathing pattern is steady and slow. Which means she’s definitely still sleeping.

But when you least except it, her eyes are open and she smiles, the events of last night are dawning on her too. She doesn’t know what last night meant, but she’s happy..

“Hi..” Ellie smiles looking straight at you.

“Hi..” You say moving a loose strand of her hair and giving her a light kiss on her cheek. You also didn’t know what the fuck this was. You liked Ellie but maybe last night was a different idea for her.

More of a friends with benefits situation.

“Last night..I mean it was?” Ellie says looking at you.

“Was fun.” You smile nodding, Ellie was happy you didn’t say it was a mistake? But saying it was fun…that also felt odd? She doesn’t really know what she wanted you to say but that wasn’t really it.

You then sit up grabbing your shirt and shorts which conveniently were on your side of the bed. Ellie’s eyes trail your back and your side profile.

She then takes this as a signal to do the same. After both of you are clothed it finally hits how fucking awkward this whole situation was.

I mean you two were sorta drunk last night? At least that’s what you wanna blame it on, knowing damn well you were sober enough to realize what fuck you were doing.

“I don’t want it to be weird?” Ellie spit out practically reading your thoughts. “Like because of last night I mean”

“N-no me neither?” You instantly shake your head looking straight at Ellie. “I a-also don’t don’t want it to be weird.

Ellie doesn’t know what led her to lean in and kiss you after you finished you sentence but she did.

You also kiss her back, your hands trailing to the back of her neck, having Ellie take it as a sign it won’t be awkward.

“Breakfast?” You say looking at Ellie giving her a smile.

Ellie ties her hair in the fucking signature half up half down ponytail, shortly nodding “Yeah let’s goo”

Ellie grabs your hand taking you downstairs.

Dina’s and Jesses attention immediately shifts looking at your guys intertwined fingers then back at each other.

“We miss something orrr?” Jesse chuckles his eyes going up and down. Watching your intertwined hands then face.

“No!” Ellie shakes her head going to the kitchen island and sitting down neither of you wanting to let go of each other.

“Righttt??” Dina chuckles. “Last night then? You guys have fun?” Jesse says after Dina finishes her sentence.

Ellie shakes her head smiling, then denying anything that Jesse brought up. “Fuckkk off!!” Ellie smiles looking back at you.

Despite the teasing, whatever this was between you and Ellie. You were happy. And that’s all that really mattered.

————————————————————

AN -> OKAY! I know how I said I was gonna do angst this chapter but when I hit 5k words I had to tap out 😭

I didn’t feel like anyone would particularly wanna read an 8k fic so I stopped it early!

Regardless I have so much plans for the next chapter which will 100% contain angst and drama so please stick around! 🙏

I wanna just briefly mention I don’t really like writing smut because I feel like I’m bad at it? So sorry if anything is weird, too fast, or whatever idk?

I hoped you enjoyed reading and expect a new part maybe in a week? (again don’t hold be to that because i’m working on part 3 for Fated Hearts Start With Fire!) WHICH U SHOULD READ! 😘

Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @cyb3rd0nguh @graviewaviee @i-feel-violated @elliesexual @macaroni676

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