#i’ll go kms now
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thinking about lil alhaitham planning his grandmothers funeral all alone is the quickest way to get me depressed that literally destroyed me i teared up for a good five mins the first time i read it 🥲
#i am convinced now more than ever#he insists he doesn’t care what ppl think of him#bc he was lonely and he didn’t have his grandmother to reassure him it’s good that he’s different#like sure he thrives off being left alone to his own devices#but c’mon he definitely feels some type of way deep down when ppl are like oh that jackass weirdo alhiatham who’s sickeningly smart#his grandma was so proud of his lil brain im so sad#i’ll go kms now#bye
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I CAVED
BAM have a Cyn/Solver/Tessa’s skin ig??? Idk what to call this freak lmfao but I love it
(Murder drones spoilers and also gore-ish character design lol)
I drew this in under an hour I think I got possessed (kinda rushed but I really wanted to draw this creature)
#UGH ROBOT HANDS kms#Uhhhh#murder drones cyn#Md cynessa#I think I saw people tagging this critter as that#God I love them but also STAY AWAY FROM ME#And stay away from Uzi and N while you’re at it lmfao#Murder drones fanart#yippee!!!#I’m sorry I’m sorry I just had to draw them I’ll go back to rainworld now lol#Also I know I drew the dress wrong just ignore i tried my best lol 😭#Murder drones cynessa#or was it cyntessa idk
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100 pulls
100
ONE HUNDRED PULLS.
ONE HUNDRED PULLS. (100)
DORM VIL.
NO PLAYFUL LAND ACE. ONLY DORM VIL.
#i’m dropping out of collage i’m doing it now#bye#i give up#143 pulls no ace#twst#twisted wonderland#playful land#playful land ace#ace trappola#vil shoenheit#gacha thoughts#kms#UEAAAASHH YEOUCH!!!!!!!!#i’ll do it i’ll do the fucking 200 pulls they’re going to be so fucking scared of me.
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hangman promo in the countdown: “there are no consequences in this life unless you make them happen….who is going to make me pay for the things that i do? NO ONE!”
also interconnected by the video package team, hangman in virginia after winning the title: “i am still just a man with a job and a boss to answer to”
hey guys what the fuck 😭😭 who the fuck is going to make hangman feel the consequences of his actions? who is his boss? who does he answer to? what the fuck does this mean? 😭😭
#this build has been so fucking confusing lmfao and now THIS i wanna kms#i still have no idea what the FUCK is going on 😭😭#i literally DO NOT KNOW what choice for hangman’s ***boss*** i would dislike the LEAST#i think the idea of ANYONE telling hangman what to do pisses me off beyond all reason 😭😭#and YET……i did want him to SIDE with mox…..but i don’t see hangman enjoying anybody telling him what to do#he’s so chaotic so skittish so roguish……don’t tell him what to do i’ll cry
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*should be writing*
*isnt writing*
#now it’s like I can only write under very specific circumstances#mainly it must be after my responsibilities are done in the free hours of afternoon#before dinner when I have no other plans for the night#like I have multiple hours to kill at this rest stop#but I’m also waiting specifically for my friend to text me for when I should leave#and I do not want to receive that in the middle of writing bc if I’m in a groove I’ll kms#I did write another 1k words the other day tho#so it’s coming along#the taper is coming tho#far too quickly but it is and then I’ll have more free time#and also the recovery after the race#I’m ngl I JUST WANNA BE FINISHED WITH THIS SHIT it haunts me#why is writing such a haunting hobby#if it were my only hobby I’d be going so hard#but it’s not so I struggle#it’s probably bc I kno nothing will get done in the coming days#bc I plan on running at least 36 miles Saturday night#if all goes well#and it better fucking go well for both me and Evan’s sake
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ask me and i’ll tell you how it feels to have all the paragraphs of a chapter planned but somehow none of them written
#actually don’t need to ask i’ll tell you right away#it feels like hell that’s how it feels#why does my brain work like that this is so frustrating#how many brackets can i use before i need to go back and actually replace them with real words#i feel like perishing. but dw i’ll finish this in time and only then i’ll kms#[insert disclaimer about knowing that suicide jokes are no funny]#<- funny that this is what my secret santa fic looks like right now 💀
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guess who got txt tickets 🔥
#paid 22 bucks for a membership for early access#like damn right i’m getting them#😭 even my mom was like girl spend a little extra i don’t want u to squint to see them#😋 not gonna doxx myself till the day of but lmk if ur going#🥺 can’t wait to meet my bf soobin !! (he doesn’t know we’re together)#now i have a reason to not kms 🌚#i’ll just be like ‘🧘 ur seeing txt in a few months’ whenever i get the urge#<< wrote all that last week and drafted it to manifest#i got good seats omg 😭🙏 i don’t have to squint#kai thinks
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blah blah blah
_(:3」∠)_
#tw#depression#suicidal ideation#self harm#im going to kms by 40 if i haven’t figured out my life#6 years doesn’t feel like a lot of time but also feels like a lot of time#where im at right now? i don’t imagine i’ll make it to 40#but im still trying
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yttd fans follow me rn
#🎥 ✮⋆˙now playing#sorry inno I’ll get to your thing soon it’s just I’m actually almost done with watching the play through#I’m going to kms this game#I don’t think I’ve ever loved a game and character so much besides rn#yttd
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Been having to wake up early to go feed my neighbors cats & now I’m plagued with morning Asterios angst thoughts
#ashy rambles#cause what if elpenor found out he had a crush on someone & went to tease him about it#only to find out it was HIM#& he just laughs & says that’s cute & flattering#but he just doesn’t see him that way#like thanks guess i’ll go kms now#asterios#epic oc#epic original character#elpenor#epic#epic the musical#epic musical
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so. stressed out. can i please finish this thesis
#and everyone pray i can get my italian theory grade next week#preferably sooner than later#please please please universe let us finish this project this week#please i can have my defense in september it’ll make me kms#WHO DOES GROUP PROJECTS IN THE LAST SEMESTER#we’ve had a lot of time but everyone was busy so ofc were doing this now#which wouldn’t be a big deal but i need the grade as soon as possible#esp bc idk how long it’ll take for the administration to make me go through the system#and then i’ll have 2 weeks before the defense#but the last possible defense date is july 19th#so i have to send my thesis in by july 5th#and i want to do it sooner oh god#and the project is fucking interviews again#please please i need for the interview to be this weekend#we can finish the report that same/next day and send it in#and then i’ll have to pray we’ll get the grade fast enough#📓
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FUCK OCS MAN I THEYRE BARELY DEVELOPED PAST VAGUE SHAPES AND IDEAS AND THEYRE ALREADY DRIVING ME INSANE
#get OUTBOF MY HEAD#two ocs in love and obsessed with each other#partly because they only have each other now. and also because they just think the other rocks#plus one of them had to go without the other (partly) so they’re also like please don’t leave me again I’ll kms#tfw I had my lover’s soul in a box and I had to build every inch of their body#to get them back again
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my driving instructor forgot to text me saying she can’t do today so i woke up early for nothing
#meows#guess i’ll go back to bed NOPE gotta go to work now hahaha kms#she was apologetic but i mean. I MEAN
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im :) having :) a :) bad :) time :)
#suicide tw#the urge to kms do be rearing its head rn#basically… my one (1) friend at school is dealing with family shit and will basically be unavailable for the rest of the semester#then she graduates#(and I still have a semester after that which is a whole other can of worms but)#and it just sucks all the way around#bc she’s in pain and I can’t fix it#but also… now the rest of the semester looks rly bleak for me#which is such a selfish thought and I hate myself for throwing the little pity party that I’m throwing#but like. the semester before she and I became friends I literally hung out with no one. the entire time#and I thought I wasn’t going to have to deal with that until the fall#but now. all of her time outside of class is going to be for her family. which it should!#and I’ll be fucking alone again#and I don’t know if I can do it goddamn#like god. it’s just so unfair. it’s so unfair!!!#and who knows how the semester will actually go blah blah blah I don’t CARE#i just. I’m so fucking tired#i don’t want to live like this#every time I make a close friend I lose them. every. single. time.#i don’t know what to do#I’m just. stewing in all this#personal
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#i’m not going to name names obvi#and i’ll delete this later#but i just say a chirlie say they’re scared to say they don’t like carlos because of carlos stans…#now listen… both sides of the fandom can be HORRENDOUS sometimes#but like…#you have to open your eyes a little bit come on!!!!! 😭#i have never got more death threats than i did when i was a charles stan#and it wasn’t from carlos stans#it was coming from inside the house 😭😭 literally charles fans telling me to kms because i defended carlos and suddenly i’m a fake fan#😭😭😭 i would get so many death threats FROM CHARLES STANS not from carlos stans 😭 i just deleted my account and made this one 😭😭#‘obviously carlos stans wouldn’t do that if you’re defending him’ oh but there were definitely times i gave in and believed those weird#conspiracy theories they make up and not a single carlos fan said anything 😭 i have 1 weird comment from one and they just decided to block#like a civilised person 😭😭#that just really shocked me i’m sorry i’ll delete this later on#i won’t tag this#have some self awareness maybe? look inwards.
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My mom so crazy for that (everything)!!!
#2nd year of uni still feel like shit whenever I think about my mom#like I’m so glad she’s divorced now like my dad is also kinda trash but he didn’t deserve to have her like . going off endlessly#but I’m stuck w her💀 but at least it’s better than being stuck w my dad#I think I’ll try to kms for reals not for funsies if I am stuck w my dad
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