#i’ll get it to it ok when i can afford it which won’t be any time soon if i keep buying vinyls………

[aboutoldfriends]

me ordering yet another vinyl when i don’t currently own a record player

[calinaannehart]

The Parts We Play

Chapter 3

The entire drive home after shift Eddie can’t stop looking in his rearview mirror at Buck’s truck. It’s enormous, bigger than Eddie’s, and the latest model. A Ford F-150 Raptor, with blacked-out windows and custom matt paintwork, and which probably cost three times Eddie’s yearly salary.

Every time he looks back at it he feels another jolt in the pit of his stomach. There’s an A-list celebrity following him. An A-list celebrity who got paid, according to Chim, over $3 million for his last movie is following him back to his house. To meet his son. An A-list celebrity who—

Fuck.

An A-list celebrity who is going to see Eddie’s tiny little two-bedroom house, his poor excuse for gardening, his kitchen sink full of dishes, and his fucking boxers that are probably still hanging on the clothes horse because the fucking dryer has broken for the sixth time and Eddie can’t afford to replace it until his next paycheck.

He contemplates calling Carla, asking her to stash the offending articles of clothing in his room, but remembers his phone is in his duffle bag on the back seat. He also realizes how ridiculous he’s being, it’s only underwear. Everyone wears underwear, even Buck. Unless they decide to go commando, that is. Does Buck go commando?

Fuck.

The turning to Eddie’s street springs up on him and he takes the corner way too fast, yanking the wheel around sharply to avoid mounting the curb, and glancing back in his rearview once more in time to catch Buck breaking to make the turn safely. He indicates as he approaches the driveway, rolling down his window and pointing to the curb out front to indicate that’s where Buck should pull up, and hopes he can get inside the house to deal with the laundry before Buck makes it out of his truck.

He has no such luck, however, the second Eddie has closed the driver’s side door Buck is by his side, surprisingly full of energy for someone who has just completed their first night shift in a fire station and managed roughly only twenty minutes sleep in the back of the engine on the way back from a call.

“I thought Rodriguez was a wanna-be rally driver,” Buck grins, pointing back to the corner of Eddie’s street. “But with the way you took that turn, you could give him a run for his money.”

“Just a little tired,” Eddie lies, rubbing at the back of his neck while eyeing Buck’s truck and contemplating whether it’ll be safe parked out on the street. Maybe he should have gotten Buck to park on the driveway instead, Eddie’s truck is worth less, but then it’s a safe neighborhood with a very low crime rate which is rare in a city like LA.

“You sure you wanna do this now? I can shoot off, let you catch up on some sleep—” Buck thumbs back over his shoulder at his truck, turning slightly as though he’s about to make a start toward it.

“No!” Eddie blurts quickly, embarrassing himself with how desperate he must be coming across. “I mean, I won’t be sleeping until later anyway. Carla, Christopher’s home health aid has another client today so it would have just been me and him anyway.”

“Oh, ok,” Buck nods, squinting at Eddie. “If you’re sure I’m not gonna be intruding?”

“Not at all,” Eddie glances at his watch. “We’ve probably got half an hour before Chris is up, that’s time for at least three coffees.”

Buck practically skips up the path next to Eddie. “Three? Jesus, I’d be bouncing off the walls after the second.” Eddie doesn’t add that Buck doesn’t need any caffeine to be bouncing, the man is pretty much the human equivalent of a space hopper. Eddie opens up the front door, leading Buck through, and is met instantly by the offending presence of the clothes horse, his boxers hanging pride of place on the top wrung.

“I’ll just���um,” Eddie starts grabbing at the items, bundling them in his arms and hiding them from view, only moving to head to his bedroom when he thinks he has them all. But a polite cough and a tap on his shoulder stops Eddie in his tracks and he turns to find Buck holding a pair of boxers that had evaded him. Eddie’s whole face flushes which is completely and utterly ridiculous and just makes him feel like an even bigger idiot, but then again, Evan fucking Buckley is holding his boxers out to him.

“I pegged you as more of a briefs guy,” Buck smirks, but it’s not an unkind smirk, on the contrary, it’s more teasing and there’s a spark in Buck’s eye that can only be described as flirtatious. Eddie snatches the boxers from Buck’s hand, stuffing them into the pile in his arms.

“S-sometimes,” Eddie stutters, backing away when he realizes how close Buck is standing to him. “Boxers don’t sit well under the uniform so I tend to wear briefs at work—” Eddie slams his mouth shut, utterly perplexed as to what on earth possessed him to share that titbit of information with a Hollywood movie star.

Read on AO3

Please support me by reblogging so I can reach a bigger audience!

[iwaasfairy]

INTRODUCING

I’m trying something a little bit new here, called a Fast Pass! For a while I’ve wanted to do something for people who can’t afford a full commission - but still want to support me!

Because I’ve been so busy with school and work it’s very difficult to find the time to write drabbles on top of writing fics. And it’s really hard to pick which asks to write first when I get a lot of great and interesting asks. With a Fast Pass you basically skip the line.

How? You just pick two emojis to add to your drabble ask and if I ok your ask I’ll write it! You add the same emojis to your Kofi payment, so you can send your ask on anon if you want! I’d like you to add two emojis so that no one accidentally picks the same one and causes confusion.

Check the rules of this blog/commissions before you send your ask. If it’s something on my ‘won’t write’ list, I won’t write it.

It costs 7 usd/euro, if you’d like to support me that’d be very much appreciated. You pay through Kofi, and as soon as I get it I’ll write your drabble. I won’t be doing refunds for these though, because the whole anon deal makes that too difficult.

The difference with a commission is basically that with the Fast Passes there won’t be any discussion about the idea, you can’t suggest all the kinks you want me to use or avoid etc. I’ll also write 500-800 words for them, as I see fit. So it doesn’t give you as much of a decision as a commission, but if you’re familiar with my blog you should have an idea of the type of things I write.

I’ll be taking a max. of 10 Fast Passes to see if this is a system that works well for you guys ♡♡(ु*´З`)ू

Genuinely thank you so much to anyone who even thinks of supporting me, I appreciate it so much more than you know

[inksandpensblog]

Please take as much time and breaks as you need! It's ok if you don't participate as much when participation is made to bring enjoyment! Please focus on what you want or need to do!

I hope things get better :]!!

Thank you.

To be honest, I think I’ve been in this state for a few months at least; the only thing that’s changed recently is the one big catastrophe that has forced me to reprioritize everything I do.

Also I’m still learning to be okay with the fact that I just don’t have the time or energy to deeply invest attention in my interests the way that I used to.

I want to read comics and fics and analysis, and respond to them, and write my own, and catch up on the series (I’m legitimately behind for the first time I can ever think of), and catch up with the friends of mine who’ve created art of all types for this fandom, but…so often now, it seems that even when I do have the time, I can’t drum up the energy it would take to really responsively involve myself in the stories, either as a creator or as an audience.

(That is something I’m hoping better time management can fix, so I can reserve energy for a venture that I deliberately set aside time for instead of leaving it to the chance of “when I have time” and then not having the energy to spare once “time” actually opens up.)

And they are all things that I do want to do, I love this series and the people I’ve met through it. I’ve made friends that I want to keep for life, here, and there are so many people with intriguing ideas and fascinating things to say. But…

…the thing I enjoy has been overwhelming to me for quite some time now, and I’m only now admitting that to myself because losing my car and my proofreading job has forced me to shift my attention away from it.

I look at this series and its fandom that I love and just see a mountain of stories and ideas and observations and art that I know I’m gonna have All The Thoughts about, which I’m gonna feel compelled to share, either in my own way or in response to someone else’s, because otherwise I won’t be able to think about anything else.

A mountain which I feel I need to catch up on, in order to keep up with everyone else.

And right now…I just can’t afford to do that.

I need to relearn that it’s okay to miss things. That not being first in line or even on-time for everything doesn’t mean I love this series any less, or make me any less of a member within the communities that surround it.

I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon. I still have projects that I intend to finish, no matter how long it takes to actually develop them to a point where they’re shareable outside my group of brainstorming buddies. I still have friends that I’ll maintain regular contact with, even if we don’t talk about AvA as much for the time being.

But I haven’t been able to absorb anything new for a while now, and I think that means it’s time for me to take a step back for a bit. I shouldn’t feel dread every time a new video airs or a new comic or fic chapter is posted because I can’t handle the thought that there’s more work I need to do to keep up with it all. It shouldn’t be work.

Again, I’m not leaving. I’ll still be around, and I’m open to interacting with anyone who has questions for me or wants my thoughts on something regarding the series or my fanworks. I just won’t be the one prompting those interactions, for now; because for the foreseeable future, I won’t be investing my attention in this series or its fandom. I can’t be the one to start those conversations anymore, and I can’t respond to things that aren’t put directly in front of me with the intent that I, specifically, should see them. I don’t have the time or the energy, and having the will is just making it harder.

Sorry for the wall of text, ehe. Thank you for understanding.

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

My Demon: Theories and Analysis for Eps 1-6

Hi Readers!

Let me start this post by saying what I originally wrote was just deleted after I hit the "save draft" button on Tumblr. I'm so pissed because I had spent hours working on this post!! For those who have followed my blog for a very long time, you know I usually provide a very in-depth analysis of dramas. 

Given what just happened and time constraints, I will keep this post very short. I may make mini posts next week to further elaborate on some points discussed here, but it just depends on if I have the time.

If you have any questions, please feel free to hit the "ask me anything" button and I will try my best to answer them promptly. I hope "My Demon" fandom won't be as toxic as the "Alchemy of Souls" fandom and misuse the "ask me anything" button to send me death threats or insults. If you don't like what I write, you can simply scroll along. The end. Also, don't plagiarize my shit. This was a huge issue during AOS and I really didn't appreciate it at all. If you want to use my ideas, give me credit for them.

Ok, let’s put on our thinking caps. Time to analyze and theorize!

Demons

In the context of this show, “demons” are individuals who used to be human but are now forced to fulfill human wishes in order to keep on living forever. The terms are simple: humans get their deepest desires fulfilled but will die in 10 years and go to hell. For demons, as long as they sign new contracts and collect souls, they won’t combust and be wiped from existence. It remains unknown how often demons must sign contracts/collect souls before they start to combust. Before demons were loan sharks, they were guardians of humans. 

We start this drama with Jeong Gu Won, who has lived happily for the last 200 yrs as a demon. Gu Won has no recollection of his human life. We don’t know if this aspect of Gu Won is something present in all demons or just him. Gu Won’s perfect little world is turned upside down after he saves Do Do Hee from Rash Dude aka Jeffrey Dahmer. Now, we don’t know why his tattoo was transferred to Do Hee but it’s implied the full moon and water had something to do with it. If you have read other posts of mine, you will know that when there’s a full moon it usually means a transformation and a new start. The whole falling into the water could be viewed as a sort of baptism, symbolizing the end of an old life and the beginning of a new life. I feel like before this show ends, Gu Won and Do Hee will end up in the water under the full moon again to symbolize Gu Won’s full transformation into a human. Like right now he’s like a quasi-demon haha. His transformation into a full human is currently ongoing. I think that as he starts to develop more human emotions/remember his human memories, his powers as a demon will begin to decline. 

Gu Won’s Past Life…A Story of Crime and Punishment

One thing I’ve learned from analyzing many dramas over the years is when a writer shows us a book or mentions a movie, we should look into them if we want a glimpse into what will happen in a drama. Now in Ep 1, you see #2 Wild Dog reading, “Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoevsky which was hilarious because he didn’t strike me as the type to read such a dense piece of literature. Seeing this book took me back to my high school days when we had to read and analyze this book. For those who don’t know, Russian works tend to be very long and are usually about suffering haha.

For the sake of time, I’ll you a very brief overview of what happened in “Crime and Punishment”. The story begins with a law student, Rodion Raskolnikov, who quits school because he can’t afford it anymore. The guy then has a mental breakdown of sorts and decides to kill the elderly owner of the pawnshop and her half-sister. He justifies his actions by rationalizing that by killing the pawnshop owner, he could take the valuables within her pawn shop and use them to fund his education which would eventually earn him a well-paying job. In turn, he would use the money earned to benefit the greater good. 

Raskolnikov saw himself as an Ubermensch (if you don’t know that means, I had briefly talked about it in my DAYS posts). He believed that since he was above everyone else, he was allowed to cross all societal, ethical, and moral lines because his success would help the greatest amount of people. The rest of the novel is about Raskolnikov’s internal struggles with what he did. He goes back and forth between confessing or not confessing to the murders. Eventually, the love interest in the story, Sonia, a devout Christian and source of morality for Raskolnikov, convinces him to turn himself in and confess. Raskolnikov ends up only having to serve a total of 8 years in a labor camp for the murders. While there, he finally realizes the errors of his ways and feels guilt for his past actions. He then was like “Sonia’s love saved me and I feel bad for making her suffer so when I get out, I’m going to repay her with infinite love for all she has done for me”. And bam! That’s where the story ends…with the start of his journey toward redemption haha. 

Gu Won is Raskolnikov in the sense that he thinks he’s better than everyone else and can therefore cross any line he so chooses. Based on a flashback in Ep 6, it seemed Gu Won had this kind of mindset even before he became a demon. So, what crime did Gu Won commit that landed him in Hell in the first place? I wouldn’t label it so much as an actual crime like murder but Gu Won probably got Do Hee’s past self killed. The guilt he felt after her death is probably what led to him become essentially trapped in a mental Hell, much like Madam Ju. Eventually, this guilt prevented him from entering heaven after he died. God/Lady probably took pity on him and offered him salvation in the form of becoming a demon; alternatively, it could be that God/Lady offered him a "sweet" contract where he could work as a demon in exchange for a second chance and a happier life with Do Hee in the future. Regardless of whatever the case may be, the important thing is that Gu Won needs to remember what happened in his past so he can seek forgiveness from Do Hee in the present and start his path toward redemption much like Raskolnikov. The truth sets you free haha. Gu Won is taking a step in the right direction though by protecting Do Hee. He could be like Raskolnikov and choose to give Do Hee infinite love for the rest of his life to make up for the horrible things he did to her in the past haha. Oh, one more thing for this section, the tattoo being on Do Hee’s wrist could symbolize that she was the reason why he became a demon in the first place. 

Murders of Do Hee’s Parents and Madam Ju/Who Is Abraxas

In my original post, this section was long, but as I previously mentioned, the stuff I wrote was deleted. I’m just going to give you the overall gist of it. I still think the person who killed Madam Ju was Ju Seok Hun and that the person who killed Do Hee’s parents was Madam Ju’s little brother/Seok Hun’s father. I don’t think Madam Ju directly killed Do Hee’s parents, but she felt guilty for their deaths because she covered up the incident to protect her little brother. After which, she cut him off and exiled him to Peru to live a hippie life haha. This is completely speculative though. Like we have two choices for who murdered Do Hee’s parents and Madam Ju. Choice #1 is Noh Suk Min and Noh Do Gyeong and Choice #2 Seok Hun’s father and Seok Hun. One argument I made for choice #2 is that if Suk Min and Do Gyeong were the real killers, wouldn’t the actor who played Do Gyeong be a main lead instead of a supporting character? Another argument was that Seok Hun has too many conflicting qualities about him. For example, he is a hippie who works in the corporate world and despite portraying a goody-two-shoes image, he suggests Do Hee should engage in some ethically questionable business practices like letting Mirae Investments buy shares of Mirae F&B to offset the losses. 

It’s also important to remember what Do Hee said about “sweet” things and how they’re always fake (except for Gu Won haha). Seok Hun is faker than acrylic nails. He puts on an act that he cares about her well-being when in reality, he hopes she dies. He must continue with this nice guy act because he doesn’t want her death to lead back to him. Just think about some things for a moment, if Do Hee died, who would the police suspect killed her? Would it be the people who openly voiced their disdain for her or the person whom she had a loving relationship with? It would be the former. The scene with Do Gyeong at the lockers is essentially Seok Hun setting him up to take the fall for Do Hee’s murder. At the end of the day, human greed is what drove Seok Hun to do what he did. Who knows, maybe his greed stems from being subjected to a frugal lifestyle while growing up. 

Crosses, Numerology, and Tarot

Amen, we are nearing the end. Ok, let’s keep going at record speed. So, crosses and Catholicism/Christianity are heavily present in this show. The same goes for numbers and tarot. They’re all connected. Some religious crosses can look like an “X” which looks like the Roman numeral 10. The number 10 is everywhere in this show. For example, the little girl was celebrating her 10th birthday and the Wheel of Fortune is the 10th tarot card in the Rider Waite Tarot Deck. Connecting numerology with tarot, the wheel of fortune represents the end of one journey and the beginning of another…1 + 0 = 1, where 1 symbolizes completion.

The clock in the promotional poster has a hand pointing at 10, which is different than the clocks seen at Gu Won’s place that only go from 0-9. While we are on the subject of 9, “Gu” means nine. Every time Gu Won started a new life, he named himself the next number following his current one. For example, he was Il (1) Won, then I (2) Won, and so forth. Now in his 9th life, he is called Gu Won. Get it? Ok, cool. What comes after 9? 10. After Gu Won completes his transformation into a human, he will be called Sip (10) Won haha. Additionally, did anyone notice the number 91 on the cake Do Hee baked for him? What’s 9+1? 10. 

Pay attention to the numbers in this show people! Always ask yourself what each number means and what it's connected to haha. When God/the Lady said, "I’m betting on all the odd numbers", many were like what does that mean? She’s referring to the numbers on tarot cards (Rider Waite Deck), which represent Gu Won and Do Hee. For example, which cards represent them? For starters, the 15th card aka the devil. 1+5=6 which is the lovers card. Another odd-numbered tarot card that is representative of Do Hee and Gu Won is the 9th card which is “The Hermit” because let’s be real here, they both were hermits before they met each other. The last major arcana tarot card in the deck is #21…THE WORLD aka GUARANTEED SUCCESS. So this is what God/Lady meant when she said she’s betting on all the odd numbers. It’s the writer’s way of telling us we are going to get a happy ending after all the chaos that will occur. 

One more intriguing number is 17. If you sniff around, you’ll notice that 17 is the number of years that have passed since Do Hee’s parents died. 17 is also the number of the coin locker where Jeffrey and Seok Hun exchange stuff. Hilariously, Gu Won’s passcode to his safe is “666”, which is the number of the beast/devil haha. In the newspaper clipping about the Sunwol Foundation, it said the theater was completed on June 7, 1977 and Gu Won’s name during that time was Chil (7) Won haha. The number 7 is seen as lucky in Korean and many Western cultures. 

MISC

The cross necklace Gu Won wears probably belonged to Do Hee’s past self or was given to Gu Won by Do Hee…..OH I just made another connection…..In “Crime and Punishment”, Sonia gave Raskolnikov a cross necklace. Also, in Crime and Punishment, Sonia was a prostitute and Do Hee was essentially one during the Joseon dynasty…. Kisaeng and prostitutes are basically the same thing haha. It’s also interesting that both Gu Won and Do Hee wear two necklaces, one silver and one gold. I wonder if there’s any meaning behind that.

In the newspaper clipping about Sunwol Foundation, the term 'Sun/Seon' is written in hanja and translates to 'to return/come back.' This element was part of Gu Won's original name, Yi Sun/Seon. Additionally, 'wol' means moon. Therefore, I interpreted 'Sunwol' to mean 'Sun and Moon' or 'Moon That Returns.' In a broader sense, Sunwol can be likened to the Taj Mahal—a building or monument constructed in memory of a beloved. One could also view Sunwol as a place that narrates the love story of the Sun (Gu Won) and the Moon (Do Hee) or as a place built with the hope that Gu Won’s beloved moon would return one day.

Ok, folks, that concludes this very brief TA post. WOOHOO! Sorry if there were any grammatical mistakes or typos, and if this post seemed a bit disorganized. I really have to get to bed and didn't have time to edit this haha. See you all next week maybe!

[cyncerity]

HEY EVERYONE IM MAKING A NEW AU I HAVE THOUSANDS OF WORDS TYPED ALREADY SO IM GONNA SPLIT IT UP

have fun with this with absolutely no context, i’ll explain it once i post all the parts but you’re all free to guess until then!! I’ve been having a lot of fun with this au and i wanna talk about it hsksksjshj

anyway, here’s part 1!

tw: vore

“We have to cut our losses here. We don’t have enough to fund this any longer, and there’s no one we can reach out to for more money. We can’t risk this getting out.”

“Fine, I- I know, it’s just…this is a breakthrough. We can’t afford to give up now.”

“We won’t. We just need some time to get back on our feet is all. Besides, he knows what to do now…” the scientists turned their heads to the one way mirror they stood behind. A little boy, barely a teenager, sat behind it on his bed, his eyes glassy and unblinking, turned a glossy pearlescent white. Their project, practically their life’s work. Well, the container for it, anyway.

***

Wilbur heard the three scientists come into the room, and somehow registered one of them motion vaguely with their hand despite his eyes being effectively turned off, which meant they wanted him back in their world. Ugh. Still, he cut off his thoughts with his other half practically (given that it’d been almost a decade since they’d been separated), eyes beginning to function again and the scientists approaching him as they saw his eyes shift back to the colors they were supposed to be.

“Wilbur, what we’re going to tell you is very, very important, so you have to listen carefully. It’s your life at stake if this goes wrong. And his.” The one in blue said, gesturing to Wilbur’s torso. Well, that was certainly a way to get his attention. Wilbur didn’t say a word, though; the green one didn’t like it when he ‘sassed them,’ so he instead scooted back and placed both arms protectively around himself and his…what did they call him once, ‘cargo’? He was sure he heard Green call him a ‘parasite’ once, which was rude. Still, they must have noticed his panic, cause the orange one responded immediately. “It’ll all be ok, things will just have to change for a minute. You’re…youre not going to be able to stay here for a while.” “What?!” Wilbur said, unable to restrain himself. The green one went to speak up but was silenced by Blue, who just whispered something about him being ‘scared’ and how this was ‘probably a lot to handle.’ Yeah, no shit it was!

“I get this is a huge change, I do, but it’s necessary for now. We don’t have the necessary resources to keep taking care of you here. We need to find a way to keep you safe and healthy, both of you. You’ll be staying somewhere secure while we find somewhere more reclusive to hide you. We don’t want anyone finding out anything and putting the two of you in danger.” Orange said, sitting next to Wilbur and rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. Right. Right, he had a purpose. And if part of his purpose was to survive without his caretakers for a short while, he could do it. If it meant safety for his stowaway, he could do it.

“You doin ok, bud?” Orange asked, and Wilbur nodded slightly. Orange was his favorite of the main three. He was always nice, and even gave him extra treats and toys when he was behaving! “When do you think you can be ready to leave, Wil?” Green asked, crouching to be at level with where he sat. “Whenever you need me to be, sir.” Green smiled and ruffled his hair. Wil always tried to be extra good for Green. It’s not like he didn’t like him, it’s just that Green was more likely to yell at him if he messed up. “Good kid. We’ll leave tomorrow morning and introduce you to who you’ll be staying with. Try to get some rest.” He said, smiling before leaving and leading the other two out with him.

He pressed into his core, feeling cold scales slither against his insides. He pressed in harder a few times and they pressed back, signaling that they’d heard everything. Wilbur pat down a few times and released the pressure, lying back onto his bed carefully to not jostle the weight inside of him.

This was going to be interesting.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Oven repair still isn’t going well. I just can’t seem to get those two damn screws out. Excuse me I ramble/vent/moan/bore about things. (I am waiting a few minutes for some WD-40 to soak into rust, and the farmer sprayed the fields, AGAIN, an hour ago so I can’t go outside. I could do something useful, even with these grungy hands , or I could….)

I’ve had to stop working on the computer and the rest the tech issues. Which had already stopped my working in plumbing. Which had stoped me working on the roof. Which had stopped me working on the kitchen floor and wall at Mom’s house. Which had stopped me from working on the floors at my house. Which had stopped me working on….

Yeah.

So why the stove gets top priority?

Because, damn it, I like to have bread! I have toast every morning. Toast with cheese and fruit. That’s almost every breakfast. I count on having bread! **

And there is the mac and cheese I was going to fix to eat on for a week. And that sweet potato I was going to use last night. And the crust for the grape juice pie I was going to make in a couple weeks to use up juice (cluttering up the fridge) that I made from those fox grapes. And the bagels I’ve been craving**** I was going to make once I used up the bread. And roasting some of the peanuts from the field when they get harvested. And pumpkins and their seeds at Halloween. And turkey at the holidays. And cookies! And…

Okay, I also just like baking. I’m good at baking. Baking is so easy. And yummy.

I dunno. I can survive without an oven and a stove with a burner that goes full volcanic on low, but do I want to?

I have had my life’s pleasures whittled away from me. Like, at first it was just no trips or going out to eat. Fine. But then it was no going to the movies. No going to bookstores. Dropping all my comics and magazines. No buying books, or DVDs, or even little treats. No buying shrimp when the ground chicken is cheaper. No new clothes when I still have my parents’. No getting an internet provider good enough to watch videos all the time. No new sculpey or paints!!!

No family goes without saying.

And it isn’t just normal decay, with poverty (and the neglect that can lead to) speeding things up. Worse, thieves and vandals have repeatedly shown up lately to wreck my, already held together with duct tape, world.

Ok, yes, I have a few things left I get to enjoy. I’ve still got the pool (I almost refilled it after repairing the storm damage, but damn it’s cold) and the woods (when I get time, and the swamp is going dry again…gotta write about that sometime). And there are the animals, of course (but caring for them is soooo expensive). I appreciate my luck to have any of that.

But it all feel so precarious.

Any of them can be taken from me so fast. One tree can take out the pool, and sooner or later one will. Or maybe I will get so I physically can’t clean it any more first. The person that owns a quarter share of the farm and woods can still cause me to lose my woods. As it is, the people that own the next property seem to have it in for the swamp. The pets will all die eventually (old age I hope!) , and I should want no more strays show up. I’ve reached the “Oh no!!! Not another one!” stage every time a new one shows up.

As it is, I never go anywhere. I never do anything fun. I can’t buy things. I have no social life or any way to get one. Everything is broken or breaking around me.

My cooking may not be fancy, and I’m not a fan of the actual process of cooking, but having something yummy to look forward to eating at the end of the day has been something I counted on. During a day working on repairing, cleaning, or cutting brush, knowing I have leftover pizza in the fridge or that I can always make myself oven fries as a treat or that I’ll have brownies for dessert makes it easier to keep shoving through pain.

Ah well, it’s out of my hands. The problem will either be something I can afford to fix or it won’t. I’ll just have to adapt if it turns out to be “won’t”.

But first I have to get those damn screws out!

(Wanders off to go get a hack saw, chisel, hammer, drill, crowbar, and dynamite….’cause those suckers are coming out!!)

** I have no taste for store bought anymore. Mom went from occasionally making bread to making all our bread (when Pop developed stomach issues) thirty years ago. Then when Mom injured her arm*** in the shop, maybe fifteen years ago, I took over. After all those years of home made, when I’ve had folks give me store bought I realized I kinda hate it. So it isn’t just the cost of buying bread from a store (when every penny counts) but I don’t actually like it.

***Long story. Dislocated shoulder. Screw up by hospital folks. Mom with a completely paralyzed arm for six full months. Docs could do nothing but wait and see if it came back, and luckily it did.

**** If you think I hate store bought bread, the bagels are worse. I never liked bagels until I tasted properly made ones at a shop near my brother’s. It was a revelation. Too bad the shop is over 100miles away! There are NO bagels but grocery store plastic bag ones in my damn county. So it’s homemade or nothin’.

[sakurachan7734]

Happy little family

Chapter 1: the start of a family

August 14 

( before everyone says “ that’s not how biology works” I am aware that two girls can’t have a baby without a donor, but this is a fictional story it’s not meant to be accurate)

Sally(26)pov

9 months later and hours of pain I finally had my boys Kim(27) had to go to the store for baby blankets for the boys I have already picked names for them the on with Kim’s hair color and mouse ears and tail is named tobor and the one with my hair color and has a lizard tail name is named talus then aunt Linda came in the room

Linda:* sits down* aww the boys are adorable

Sally:* hugs tobor and talus*I know I’m so happy they are here

Linda: me too let’s get them cleaned up

Sally: ok i need some rest

Linda takes tobor and talus to clean them up and runs into Kim

Kim: hello miss Linda is everything ok?

Linda: yes but Sally had some difficulties with birth so she needed a emergency c-section

Kim: is she ok?!

Linda: yes she is

Kim: good can I see her?

Linda: yes

Kim:* walks into the room with flowers* hi sweetheart

Sally: hi Kim

Kim:* places the flowers down* how are you feeling? You’re aunt said that you needed a emergency c-section

Sally: yes I did I am fine now

Kim: good did you choose names yet?

Sally. Yes tobor and talus

Kim: aww those names are adorable and are we going to raise them in the Judaism religion?

Sally: yes if they don’t want to be a part of it anymore we won’t force it on them

Kim: ok and what should we do that we have kids and aren’t married?

Sally: wait and see if we are still together if the boys are four or five years old then we will talk about marriage 

Kim: ok hopefully the boys will be happy and healthy….

Sally’s: what’s wrong dear?

Kim: oh I am scared that I will become like my mother or she will just randomly show up and try to walk into my life

Sally:* holds Kim’s hand* hay don’t worry I am sure neither of those will happen

Kim: ok please let me know if the first thing ever starts to happen

Sally: I know I will I am sure we will be good mothers

Linda walks into the room and hands tobor and talus to Sally and Kim says “ congratulations you too” and walks out

Kim: I know they’re not identical twins, but which one is which?

Sally: the one your holding is talus and the one I’m holding is tobor

Kim: ok they are so cute

Sally: yea they are I am so happy that they are finally here

Two days later sally is released from the hospital

Kim: should we start getting toys now?

Sally: yes and sorry for wanting to wait until the boys were born to actually tell anybody or get anything for them

Kim: no no don’t apologize. Understand why you didn’t want us to deal with selling or finding store for everything if you had a mi$carriage or you or when the babies died during birth 

Sally: yea now that my aunt had met them we should plan a visit from your dad after the wedding?

Kim: about that are the boys going to call your aunt grandma or great aunt? Because biologically she’s the great aunt, but your parents are dead

Sally: we will let them call her grandma man will probably tell them the truth when they’re older

Kim: ok and I just remembered Marceline and dreamers wedding is September 20th and it’s a child free because we plan on drinking a bunch of wine should we skip out or ask them to make an obsession because they’re going to be only 7 weeks old at that time?

Sally: well, we are going dress shopping next week so I’ll talk to dreamer about it then 

Kim: ok

The next week dreamer and Sally go dress shopping

Sally: are you sure I can pick any dress no matter the price? 

Dreamer:(25) Sally i’m royalty I can afford anything plus Marceline is making my dress anyway I’m just here to look for shoes and a veil

Sally: alright and I have something very important to ask you

Dreamer: ask away

Sally: so you’re wedding invitation said no kids and me and Kim had twins a week ago and by the time of wedding they will be about seven weeks old do you want me to skip the wedding or will this be an exception? I promise to keep them quiet and entertained if they start crying me or Kim will bring them out.

Dreamer: first of all congratulations on the babies! and I would say no, but you just mentioned that your kiss about seven weeks old and that’s definitely a time babies are gonna need their parents so yes you can bring your kids but keep your promise to keep them quiet as much as possible

Sally: thank you so much

September 20th Marceline is getting ready for her wedding 

Marceline: awwww you’re boys are adorable what are their names?

Kim: thanks their names are tobor and talus and we may leave early if they get to fussy I know we already let you know this once but we think we will let you know again since Sally is a bridesmaid.

Marceline: that’s understandable and it’s OK. I understand being new parents is really stressful.

Kim: thanks for understanding

A few hours later the dancing started

Dreamer: aww your boys are adorable!

Sally: I know! I’m surprised they are very fussy

Dreamer: probably because they both are at the age where they want to sleep a lot

Sally: that makes sense

Talus:* starts crying*

Sally: oh sorry he’s probably hungry Kim watch Tobor for a minute 

Kim: yes dear* grabs tobor*

Sally leaves the room

Tobor:* walks up and looks at dreamer*

Dreamer: awww hi tobor

Tobor:* laughs a little bit*

Kim: aww he likes you

Dreamer:* smiles at tobor* he’s so cute

Kim: I know

Sally walks back into the room

Dreamer: hi Sally!

Sally: me and Kim are gonna go it’s getting close to the boys bed time

Marceline: ok thank you for coming we will make sure to send pictures

Kim and Sally go back to their apartment and put the boys in Their crib

Kim: they believed well today I’m impressed

Sally: yea me to probably because all they want to do is sleep

Kim: i’m surprised dreamer accepted us bring our kids

Sally: well the invitations did say that there will be some exceptions for bringing kids to a wedding like if they can’t find a babysitter on this case where they are a few weeks old

Kim: yea * kisses Sally on the cheek* well this is the start of our happy little family

End of chapter







[apotodiplodocus]

SECURITY

CHAPTER 3

The drive home is both incredibly short and way too long. His mind is mostly blank, the feeling of your lips barely tracing a kiss against his cheek, the smell of your perfume, the sound of your hair swishing with your haste all of it drives him crazy. This random woman he just met today, helped, and got food with wants to go on a date and has surprised him at every turn, how on earth is he planning to pull this off? Is he planning on pulling this off? For the past 8 years, he has been raising his sister by himself, working under an awful man, the only man that would help him his whole life centred around keeping her safe and fed. Does he have time to even think about doing something for himself? How was Ume going to feel? He’d have to talk to her, he was the only parental figure she’d known, being too young to have any meaningful memories of their mother when she died, it was important to get her thoughts on the idea of him dating. It would have been fine if Ume were older and less reliant on him. As much of a burden it had been on him to look after his young sister, his only wish was that he could afford a better life than the cheap apartment and quick meals, the most expensive thing they had was Ume’s school fees, Gyutaro had fought extremely hard to get her into a good school, which was made harder by the fact he was only 18 when he became her guardian. He would put Ume’s life and needs before his own if the situation demanded it which was why he couldn’t just start dating the first woman to show interest in him. He scowled at this thought but relented.

When he reached home, he started pulling the Chinese food out of one of the bags when he noticed something buzzing on the other side and realises you somehow left your phone in the bag. Ume comes barrelling out at the sound of his bike so before he can sort out the phone, he is almost tackled.

“Where were you!? I waited for so long, did you get in trouble at work again?” She screeches “What’s that sound? Oh my God, what’s that smell?!” Immediately forgetting about her brother she examines the bag with the food in it.

“I didn’t know we could afford a takeaway! I would’ve wanted something else!” She whines. Gyutaro rolls his eyes but has an affectionate smile on his face.

“Whatever, we can’t afford it, but it was free so you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it.” He teases.

“Who would give you free food?” She asks, not really caring about an answer, too caught up in the duck dish she was holding.

“I’ll tell you in a bit, take the food in I’ve got to go return something to someone.” She shrugs.

“Whatever, get back soon I won’t wait for you if you don’t have your keys, I’ll go to sleep and leave you out here all night!” She sticks her tongue out, a smile on her face before trotting back inside. Gyutaro chuckles and puts his helmet back on. He turns the phone’s alarm off and in the process sees an older woman and young boy on your lock screen.

‘Hmm. That must be the family that Kamojo- Whatever his name was threatened.’ He thought to himself. He slips it into his pocket and makes his way back, just about remembering the route. When he arrives something doesn’t seem right, everywhere is eerily quiet, the only sounds coming from the nearby road. He puts his riding gear away taking the phone with him. He realises he doesn’t know which apartment is yours and is quietly relieved to see your last name on a buzzer. He presses it and figures out which window it is from the apartment number. He steps back to look and none of the lights are on. He buzzes again but there is no response, and the lights stay off. He is instantly on guard, that isn’t normal. He buzzes your neighbour, and they respond sleepily.

“What? Who is it?”

“I’m here to drop something off for your neighbour it’s really important.”

“How do you know her?” The neighbour asks suspiciously.

“We work together, she left her phone in my bike bag.” He holds your phone up to the camera so they can see.

“Ok, fine, tell her to keep it down though for me, you’d think she was trying to re-arrange her furniture in there.” He lets him in and Gyutaro shoots up the stairs. Why would you be rearranging furniture in the dark? He knows something is wrong and slowly approaches the number that was next to your name outside and sees it’s been left slightly ajar, and he can hear what your neighbour means. He quietly pushes the door open and sees two men in the main room one of them is trying to break into a door at the back of the apartment and the other is tipping stuff over. He slams the door open the rest of the way.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” He yells. The neighbour comes out and tells him to keep it down, Gyutaro just shuts him up and tells him to call the police, the neighbour sees past him and at the overturned furniture in your room, the situation dawning on him. The men have swivelled by now and are approaching him.

“You aren’t supposed to be here, leave.” One of them states.

“Oh, and you are? I bet you work for that Kamoji guy, don’t you?” Gyutaro grins menacingly. They don’t correct him but look at each other.

“You the one that dislocated his arm?” The other questions through a snarl.

“Yeah, and I’d do more if ‘e was here, fortunately for ‘im it’s just you two sad sacks.” Gyutaro growls back grin not even twitching. He isn’t scared of these idiots, one of them couldn’t get through a door that thin and the other strained to flip the couch, Gyutaro has beaten tougher guys than them for fewer reasons.

They approach him and as he gets ready to swing, you peek through a tiny gap in the door, and he sees a black eye. Furious he immediately dodges an attack from the both of them, lunging to the side and pivoting behind the other. When the henchman he isn’t behind turns to swing again Gyutaro’s fist is already flying into his jaw, making a loud cracking noise. The henchman drops to his knees in pain but is still conscious. The other man has now whirled around and managed to backhand Gyutaro’s face, not that he cares or really feels it, spitting blood from his bust lip in the man’s eye and uppercutting him, his head flies back before being pushed back by a punch to his solar plexus. Gyutaro spots the other has now stumbled to his fight and is swinging wildly and Gyutaro wants to laugh.

‘Amateurs’ he thinks to himself, dodging easily and smacking the back of the man’s head pushing him down onto his awaiting knee, letting him fall to the side. He pants for a second, coming down from the adrenaline rush, both men on the floor unconscious. He wipes his mouth and turns to you.

“You got any duct tape or rope?” You jump when he acknowledges you again. You nod resolutely and scurry to your kitchen chucking him some duct tape from a drawer. After a moment both men are hog-tied with the tape on your living room floor as you wait for the police to arrive. He starts to grip the couch as if to turn it the right way up when you put your hand on his shoulder.

“Your lip is still bleeding, let me help.” You smile softly at him. He didn’t think someone could look at him so softly but nods and lets you guide him to your kitchen. He takes a seat at the small table then and you grab a first aid kit.

“I’m actually a first aider so rest easy I know what I’m doing!” You say sitting down and lifting a sleeve of your pyjama shirt and playfully flexing your bicep. When he doesn’t do anything, you deflate a bit. “Just, uh… Pretend that didn’t happen.” He does let out a tiny laugh at that and you smile again glad to bring up the mood a bit. You reach up to his cheek to get a better look tilting his head.

“Just a small cut, it’s not even bleeding that much.” He looks at you, and it’s almost sinful when he licks the blood dripping from his lip. Your breath hitches in surprise, but he makes no reaction.

“A-anyway,” You clear your throat. “I’ll just disinfect it and give you something cold to put on it. He just nods in response, eyes switching between lingering on your black eye or the two goons on the floor. After you’re both settled, Gyutaro finally remembers what he came back to do.

“Oh, right. You forgot this in my bag.” He passes the phone over.

“Ah! Thank you, I was looking for this when they came in.” You say when you realise your house had just been broken into and you had been in real danger. Your heart starts to pound, the shock of the situation finally wearing off. “Oh.” Was all you could say reaching up touching the black eye and hissing a little when tears run into the cut residing there. Gyutaro doesn’t know what to do, when Ume cries, they’re usually fake to get what she wants or if they are real, he just hugs her, but he can’t do that here. He’s left watching you rattle with sobs at the realisation of everything that had happened in just one day. You didn’t even know what those men wanted they just forced themselves into your house and one of them punched you when you yelled for them to leave. Gyutaro was just opening and closing his mouth, not sure what to say. You think about what could have happened if Gyutaro hadn’t been there at the office, if he hadn’t given you a ride home, if you hadn’t left your phone and if he hadn’t been kind enough to come straight back to give it to you. Would you be dead? Kidnapped? You don’t try to stop yourself from leaping up to give him a hug.

You wrap your arms around his torso and plant your head on his shoulder sobbing into the work shirt he hadn’t had a chance to change out of yet. Gyutaro didn’t know what to do, it would be easy to hug you back, but he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with that yet. You had still only just met.

“Thank you Gyutaro, thank you so, so much. I hate that you’ve had to do so much for me in one day but thank you, God. You’re my hero.” You wail. Gyutaro’s heart does pick up speed much to his chagrin, especially since he knows you’ll be able to feel it from your position, but lightly encircles your waist, a barely there tough.

“It’s fine, need you alive for that date on Saturday anyway.” He grumbles trying to make a joke, and it works. You laugh, tearful giggling after a forceful exhale.

“Yeah, I’d be so pissed to miss that.” You affirm and Gyutaro still can’t wrap his around the fact you really want a date. You let him go, apologising for how sudden it was and your waist feels a bit cold, but you shrug it off.

“Since I’ve got you here, shall we talk about our date a bit? Maybe plan something? I could do with the distraction” You ask eyes shining, wiping away tears gently.

“If you want.” He tries to be non-committal about it, especially since he hasn’t had the chance to talk to Ume about it yet but is too intrigued by what you would want to do to refuse.

“Hmm. Well, I did suggest we could go watch a film but I’m not sure if there’s anything actually interesting in cinemas right now. Ooh! I know, to thank you for everything how about I make you a meal? I’ll clean this place up during the week and on Saturday you can come round, I’ll cook something nice, and we can chill, watch a film on TV and get to know each other!” You gasp out. Gyutaro would prefer that over being outside all day, but it also feels so intimate. He’s only in your house now because it was a dangerous situation, coming over for a date was so, so cosy and it almost intimidated him to be alone with you at your home. But he also hasn’t had a proper home-cooked meal in, well, ever actually now he thinks about it. He mulls it over before hesitantly agreeing.

“OK. I have some time after work tomorrow if you want me to come back and turn the furniture over for you if you want?” He asks quietly. Almost hoping you say yes.

“No-no! I couldn’t ask you to do that for me after everything today. I’ll be fine, I don’t think anything was actually damaged.” You reply throwing your hands up, you’d feel guilty if he did help you with that, plus you wanted to show him you were a capable person, not just someone who always needed help. He just nods going back to watching the men on the floor with so much indignation, as if he were the one they had wanted all along, not you. At this point, Gyutaro figures he does like you enough to feel like this was a personal attack on him, which he thought would be an impossible thought so early. He just assumes it’s because he’s already defended you twice, and your gratitude was a nice feeling that stroked his ego. And God, when you called him your hero, he had so many conflicting feelings, he felt like he could float to space he never thought someone would call him that and on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel like you would change your mind so quickly when you learned of what he did in the past to get so good at fighting. There is a comfortable silence as you both try to sift through your feelings. You know for sure you want the date to go well, especially excited after all this which feels like such a bad way to react to the trauma of your home being invaded, but with Gyutaro there you didn’t have to be scared of those men anymore, and after their defeat who would go to your apartment again? One of them had to have a broken jaw for sure, you heard the crunch and the other probably had a concussion, it wasn’t an awful beat down, but probably enough to make their boss think again, especially since now you could turn them in and report it. At that, there is a knock on the still-open door and a man with flame-like hair walks in.

“Oh my! What happened here!” He exclaims. “I am Officer Rengoku Kyojuro, are you OK madam? Mr Shabana?” He recognises Gyutaro, who has turned away in annoyance at the sight of the man.

“Yes, I’m OK, thanks to Gyutaro. These men broke into my apartment and attacked me.” One of them groans in pain as he begins to wake up.

“I see, would you both be willing to make a statement?” He says still loudly. You both nod and explain everything that had happened that day.

“I see! Despicable! I shall take them to the station for questioning. Here is my number for enquiries, please see a doctor for your eye, Madam. It was nice to see you again, Mr Shabana.” He exclaims before grabbing the two men by an arm each and hauling them up, without so much as a struggle which leaves you gobsmacked.

“Did you see that? He picked them both up like they were nothing.”

“Yeah? So what…” Gyutaro says, almost jealous of your gushing over Rengoku.

“Thank you again, Gyutaro. You don’t know how thankful I really am.” You want to give him another kiss on the cheek, but he looks a bit jumpy from everything that’s happened, so you decide against it.

“Yeah, um, you’re welcome. I need to get back to my sister.” He says excusing himself to leave, giving you back your bag of peas that he’d had cradled to his face, which hadn’t been necessary, but you’d give him a look when he’d taken it away before.

“Oh, of course! Say hello to her for me, she has a fantastic brother.” You smile. He gets flustered and just nods, trying not to sprint out of your house. You wave him off from your window, left in your wrecked apartment.

Sighing you resolve to tidy it up after work the next day and just head straight for the shower.

Meanwhile, Gyutaro makes it home once more, locking his bike and shoving his way through the front door. It’s been about an hour so he knows his food will be cold, Ume is sitting on the couch the remnants of her meal on the old coffee table in front of her.

“Come on, at least tidy up after yourself.” He groans.

“Hey, I only finished like 20 mins ago! I haven’t even gotten up yet- What the hell happened to your face?!” She yells. Seeing his cut lip.

“Long story I’ll tell you once I’ve had a shower, at least throw away the boxes by the time I’m out. And for fucks sake do your homework.” He says, taking his shoes off and heading straight for the bathroom.

“Whatever.” She tries to sound like she doesn’t care but she can’t help but feel a bit concerned. He can hear her grumbling about her homework as he undresses.

After his shower, he comes out to Ume finishing her homework, she doesn’t look up at him until he’s hovering to read it.

“Half of it’s wrong.” He states, an eyebrow raised.

“What?!” She grasps the paper holding it up. “Oh, come on!”

“Come here.” He sits and starts going over the parts she gets wrong, and they eventually finish it together. He sees she has cleaned up her mess and is appreciative, he likes to keep a clean house probably from the early days he was looking after Ume. Child protective services would visit every week to make sure Ume wasn’t living in squalor. It had been a long time since they stopped coming but he was always paranoid. He sighs as he sits back on the couch, thinking he’s procrastinated enough.

“If I told you I had a date on Saturday, what would you say?”

“Ha, that’s funny.” She says, not taking her eyes off the TV until a moment later when he hasn’t said anything in response, only quirking an eyebrow at her again.

“No way… No way! How? Who? What?!”

“Thanks.” He scoffs.

“No, that’s not what I meant, you’ve never been on a date, I’ve never even seen you look at a woman for longer than a second. Are they a man? I wouldn’t have a problem if it was.” She chortles, teasing him.

“No, they aren’t a man! She’s a woman from work.” He responds incredulously.

“Wait, day work or night work?” She looks a bit concerned; she doesn’t want him dating someone from his nightshifts, she finds them creepy and horrible.

“Day. Helped her with a guy that was gettin’ handsy and she insisted on food and a date.”

“So she paid for the takeout?”

“Yeah, anyway she left her phone in my bike bag and when I took it back to her someone had broken into her house.”

“Fuuuck, that’s rough.” Gyutaro scolds her with a look for language. “Hey, you say it all the time what’s the big deal?” She huffs and crosses her arms.

“Whatever, the plan is I go round at 1 so I won’t be home for a while on Saturday, are you OK with all this?” She looks confused.

“Yeah? It’s not my business what you do, brother. I couldn’t care less as long as she isn’t a bitch. Plus that means I get the house to myself.”

“No parties.”

“Oh come on!”

“Seriously Ume, this is important. I don’t know how I want this to go yet. If it goes well, we might be apart more often, or she might come around sometimes. A lot would change, and I’ve always been focused on you.” Ume understands his concern but after him basically being a helicopter parent she’s ready for a bit more time apart, she’s a young woman now after all. She dearly loves her brother and wants him to be happy.

“Brother, I really am OK with it, plus I know if I want you back home, you’ll be back immediately anyway. I’m not a child, I don’t need you around all the time.” Gyutaro hums, looking at her from the corner of his eye. “Oh! If this girl actually likes you, maybe you can stop being so whingy about your self-esteem all the time.” She rolls her eyes.

“Hey!” He barks. She only laughs and nudges his arm.

“I’m gonna go do my nightly routine and go to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah, go use your hella expensive shit.” He waves her off, hearing her scoff echo as she entered the bathroom. He flops his head on the back of his couch, letting out a sigh of exhaustion knowing he has work again soon. He’s gonna get shit for having an injury in that crowd but he also knows he can beat most of them anyway.

He sighs again slapping his hands on his knees and standing to go get changed for his next shift. He puts on his simple black clothes, fixes his hair back up and puts on his boots. His boss calls him, demanding he gets there early to sort something out, and since he’d been expecting it, he’s already waiting for it, an hour early for work. He’d been working for Muzan since his mother died, a full eight years, and he was planning to leave as soon as he could, not liking the direction things were going, but knowing Muzan was dangerous. He had been working hard to not give Muzan a reason to hold a grudge when he eventually asked to leave, it would be difficult, but he was determined, getting away from Muzan would be better for Ume’s future, he didn’t like the way she was entranced by the much older man. Working as a bouncer for an exclusive club run by Muzan which had a thriving drug ring in it meant he had to be insanely careful about his identity, if his identity was compromised, he would be set to lose everything.

His shift ends after an especially brutal fight broke out, while he enjoyed it, he decided that the next shift would be his last, the man had almost ripped his mask off and he wasn’t willing to take the risk anymore, not since he was setting himself up to lose something else. He could survive on the day job at the office for a while, they’d even offered him a full-time position after his handling of the situation that day, he’d told them he wanted to think about it, but he had a set plan now.

He just had to get out from Muzan’s thumb.

[witch-without-gender]

Sorry I have so many thoughts right now and I just had another one that I want to talk about so I’m going to.

Also tw I’m going to talk about some personal issues and it ties into capitalism and ableism

Also tw some discussion of s*icide

I understand the sentiment behind saying “hey, it’s ok to not be successful by age 25. You have so much time to live your life and do what you want!” And that’s a lovely sentiment and all but it doesn’t apply to me. I’m going to be 26 next year which means I’m going to lose my dad’s insurance. It’s not the best insurance in the world, but it does mean that instead of paying thousands out of pocket every time I have a medically necessary anything, I’m instead paying like, a grand max. Which is still a lot, but hey at least I’m not paying the 10000 it would cost me otherwise. I also currently have a job that I like quite a bit, but it pays just a bit above minimum wage, can’t give me full time or any upward mobility, and has zero benefits. Getting a job that pays well and has benefits just doesn’t seems to be anywhere in the cards for me anytime soon either. So when I inevitably turn the dreaded age of 26, I am going to be in a predicament. The absolute worst case scenario that is also a real possibility, is me being unable to afford my very necessary antidepressants and relapsing and, well you can guess from there.

I understand that the point of the sentiment of “you don’t have to be successful right away, plenty of people aren’t successful until they’re in their 40s, 50s, and up” is to help people understand that not being successful right out of college is no failing on their part, but maybe just to me, it feels like people are telling me it’s ok to not have job security and insurance and that I’ll get those things eventually in life. That’s not going to work out for me if I die because I’m unable to pay for medically necessary medications, treatments, etc, then I won’t even get the chance to be successful because our capitalist system doesn’t care if you’re struggling due to health issues and/or disabilities. If you’re unwell, better pay up or continue to suffer. And if you can’t? Well survival of the fittest.

I know the intent behind the sentiment is good, I just personally don’t like it and need to vent my thoughts and frustrations about it. Also not looking for advice, I have options for what I can do in the future, there just is an unlikely, but still very real possibility of me losing my SSRIs and becoming suicidal again and I’m just so pissed off about it

[the1975attheirverybest]

The band is super independent and I think that’s why platinum tickets are so upsetting. Artists can choose to opt out of platinum, but not all have the control to make that decision due to their labels. The 1975 DO have the ability to opt out and it’s jarring that they didn’t it (also, it doesn’t keep tickets off of Stub Hub, I’m already seeing listings on there for double/triple face value), especially when Matty has spoke about accessibility and affordability.

I do wonder if their touring company has any say? It’s a huge arena tour and it’s expensive to put on a production like this. In reality it is a tiny amount of tickets like Jamie said, but it alienates a lot of fans who can’t afford that.

EXACTLY!!!! THANK YOU!!! Especially when the bands ethos is explicitly and implicitly anti-exploitative. And, im sorry, I did the research before forming an opinion on this and platinum IS exploitative. It literally is the same tickets. A lawyer who specializes in entertainment law has also confirmed that there is no real basis for these tickets costing extra. And the 1975 have not made this a practice. I expect it from Harry Styles (as much as I love him) and Taylor Swift etc. but the 1975??? After all the “maybe it’s all about the money cuz I tell you what? They don’t give a fuck about you and me. They don’t. Give a fuck. About you bitches.” And “just remember that any semblance of joy you’re experiencing right now is mediated under capitalism.” And all that shit Matty has said about the artists that have been “good to him” and “loyal to him.” And how if they suddenly did a “cash grab” he would say “but what about my relationship with you as a fan.” And he knows that he doesn’t own us forever because “I’ll find another favorite band in 5 minutes, mate.”

(Which is unfair to himself cuz like there’s not a favorite band that is going to replace the 1975, but point taken).

So why can’t we feel justified in our surprise at their choice. I think Matty (.never the whole band or DH) generally gets too much flak online and sometimes he doesn’t even deserve it. Especially in recent months. BUT with this one issue, fans are in the right here. Which is not to say I’m holding it against them. Just disappointed. And, as I said yesterday, it’s fine. People fuck up. But it’s about how the respond to their fuck ups. Like they had an opportunity to say “sorry guys. We tried our best. We hear you but it wasn’t logistically feasible.” OR “sorry guys. We know we messed up. Let us fix it” and opt out of platinum before the sale went on. But instead what did we get? “Chill out it’s no big deal.” Not to you cuz you get paid either way! But I have literally been saving for this since November 2022. So stfu.

Ok sorry clearly I won’t let this go for some reason.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

I am curious to know a little more about your WIP titled "all I want is you".

hiii! Thank you for asking! <3333333 This one has been languishing for a while, but I've finally started working on it again. It's a modern AU, following on from the daft Christmas movie AU story It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like..., in which Bard is a delivery driver struggling to make ends meet and keep his kids fed, and Thranduil is Lord Greenwood, rattling around on his own in his stately home while his kids are off at boarding school. The kids well and truly engineer them getting together, and then in All I Want, Covid strikes and Thranduil invites Bard and the kids to stay at Greenwood Hall for lockdown. Everything's moving a bit too fast, and Bard in particular has a lot of worries about their comparative situations, but this is me we're talking about, it all works out OK in the end.

I'm not quite sure how this one is going to finish although I think it's nearly there (well, I know what I need to get them to, and it's the same thing that Empty Vessel finished with XD ) but it's just having the mental wherewithal to get on and actually finish the bloody thing.

I posted the conversation that Bard has with Dáin when he quits the delivery job a little while ago here, but here's a little bit of the conversation he has with the family when he gets home:

“What did Dáin say when you told him to stuff his job?” Bain wanted to know, and Bard laughed.

“I was a lot more polite than that, I’ll have you know,” he said. “And I can’t repeat exactly what he said, but the short version is that he’s had enough new drivers start in the last few weeks that he didn’t need me to work my shift, so he sent me home, and he’ll get everything sorted out with HR so I get paid for the last shifts I did. And then I came home. Dwalin sends his regards, by the way, and we’ll meet up for a pint when everything’s open again.”

“Awesome,” said Bain; the kids had met Dwalin a couple of times as he shopped at the same supermarket as Bard and his family had. “I like Dwalin.”

“So do I,” said Bard. “He’s one of the ones I’ll miss. I won’t miss the job though, or the hours, or all the driving. Or the van.”

“What will you do with it?” Sigrid wanted to know, and Bard shrugged.

“Sell it, I suppose. I’ll be needing something more practical, especially with three extra people to fit in.”

“Brilliant,” said Legolas, “we can go car hunting. When everything’s open again. You can get some nice SUVs these days, big enough to fit all of us in.”

“Perhaps I should think about getting one of those as well,” said Thranduil. “We certainly won’t all fit in the Jag.”

Legolas already had his phone out. “There are lots of seven-seaters these days,” he said, “and they’re nice, too, they’re not the people-carrier sort of thing any more. Lots of the new Land Rovers, for a start.”

“They haven’t the character of the old ones,” said Thranduil, “but I suppose they’re probably a lot less temperamental.”

“They’re a lot more comfortable too,” said Legolas, pulling up an image and turning his phone round so that Bard, Thranduil and Tilda could see it; Bard sucked in a breath at the sight of leather seats and shiny paintwork, knowing there was no way he would be able to afford something like that, even if he sold the van. But then, this was another thing he was going to have to get used to for a while, he thought, and Thranduil was always going to have more money than he did, no matter how successful he might be at finding a job or a freelancing opportunity or two. He was just going to have to get used to it.

Thank you for asking! <3333333 if anyone else would like to ask me about any of my WIPs, the list is here.

[hyperiongremlin]

Chapter six- modern au

This chapter required a lot of research, both in terms of medical stuff and legal proceedings. It’s pretty long and might be a bit of a slog but theres a good bit of exposition about Rhys and the relationship that he has with Jack and Tim. There are some big TWs for this chapter which include:  transphobic langauge (by Katagawa), internalized transphobia, descriptions of FTM anatomy (no bottom surgery), vomitting (brief), needles (brief mentions), stiches, blood, medical settings mentions of pregnancy and medication noncompliance. This chapter is over 9000 words long as well. I can’t really post much of it on tumblr so I’ll leave some choice exerpts.

Rhys followed Dr. Clarke down the sterile white hallway, which somehow distinguished itself from all the other white hallways of the modern home. He was certain he would accidentally break Tim and Jack’s hands from how hard he gripped them. Guilt, shame and disgust pooled in his stomach, melting together into a leaden alloy weighing him down. It wasn’t fair to ask this of Jack and Tim, to waste their time, to endanger their child. All because he couldn’t just get it together and stand up to Katagawa. Angel and Violet could have DIED, and what did he do? He sat there and took it. Were he a better man, a better father, maybe things would have been different. Tears welled in his eyes once more and he choked back a sob. His legs shook and then gave way as he sunk to the floor sobbing. Jack and Tim immediately kneeled next to him, each carefully maneuvering their hands so Rhys could still squeeze them.

“‘Why? Why are you helping me? I almost got them killed, and… and when he came… came after me I fucking hid. An-and I let him do that to me, [...]”

...

“Rhysie? Kitten? We’re here because we want to be, because we care about you, and I don’t want to start lecturing you about every- never mind. Cupcake, I know it’s gotta be hard right now. Everything’s crumbling and it feels like you’re flying blind, and that’s fucking terrifying, I won’t tell you it gets better instantly because I’m not a liar. But please Rhys, know that you’re loved, appreciated and really friggin’ important to us,” Jack said, his voice was strained as if he himself were fighting with a sea of emotions. Rhys looked up at Tim, who was nearly breaking his hand. Tim’s pale pink lips trembled slightly, eyes squeezed shut.

“Rhys, we just want you to be ok, you’re such a wonderful person and you don’t deserve any of this… this bullshit! And if we can make it even just a little bit better for you, we’re gonna do that,” Tim choked out. Jack rubbed the redhead’s arm comfortingly.

The trio stayed on the white linoleum floor for a few minutes. Then the pain started. Rhys shrieked.

“Wh-why is it only hurting now?” he cried.

...

“You wanna hear all my theories on that Handsome Jack guy?” Rhys asked. Tim quirked a brow and Jack snorted.

“Uh yes I absolutely need to hear these, but first let me ask you something,” Jack said.

“Yeah?” Rhys said.

“If you were offered a position at Hyperion, say senior president of marketing, would you take it?” Jack asked. Rhys had to laugh at the absurdity of the question, but if they were playing in hypotheticals, why not entertain Jack? “Yeah I would, in a heart beat! I could actually afford Vi’s meds and my own, and I’ve heard you get a lot more creative freedom at Hyperion, I mean their ads are always so memorable!” Rhys said, clearly excited. Jack smiled and nodded.

“Alright let’s hear your theories about the CEO guy,” Jack said.

“Ok ok so Vaughn came up with this one, but he thinks Handsome Jack or his partner might be trans, which like, wow said partner would probably have the nicest top surgery scars ever, if they’re removing their breasts I mean, not like my stupid zipper tits,” Rhys said and then froze, tears welling in his eyes.

“What's wrong? Hey, hey its ok,” Tim murmured, stroking Rhys’ arm.

“He, he called them zipper tits, I transitioned a year after we had Violet and right before I left him, maybe a year, I got my top surgery. And every time I got undressed he’d call them that,” Rhys sobbed. A second hand rubbed his back, Rhys assumed, based on where Tim was, that the second hand was Jack’s.

[relationshipease]

Top 3 Sneaky Strategy to win back your ex..

So… you want to get your ex boyfriend back?

One of the easiest ways you can win your ex boyfriend back is by simply using your cell phone and tapping a bunch of buttons.Sound absurd? Well, it isn’t… I’ve coached thousands of women around the world to effectively “Text Their Exes Back”… even if they initially thought that it was impossible to ever rekindle any sort of romance with their ex boyfriend.And today, I’m about to give you some tips on how you can force your boyfriend to come running back to you (and no, he’ll definitely have absolutely no choice in the matter).Ready?This is the first text you can send to get started (but don’t send these text messages yet. At the end of the article, I’ll tell you exactly when to send these texts, because when you send these messages is just as important as what you send).

Strategy #1 — The “I’m Ok” Text Message:“Hey _____, I just want to let you know that I’m 100% cool with the breakup and I thought that it was a good idea. Hope we can still be friends. Talk soon.”This text message is great because it conveys all the right messages. For one, you’re letting him know that you were 100% okay with the breakup (you need to make him think this right now). By saying this, you’re pretty much saying to him that you don’t really need him… and this will subconsciously drive him insane. By posing as “just a friend” right now, you start planting my patented ‘Seduction Seeds’ that will eventually cause him to start thinking about you in a sexual way again… and win him back for good. More on this in a bit.

Strategy #2 — The “No Communication” Text.“You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.”This one is a little advanced and you need to know exactly when to send this text… but again, you’re communicating to him that you don’t really need to talk to him. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need him to play any role in your life anymore. By doing this, you’ll send the messsage that you do want to “move on”… and you’ll begin tricking him into thinking that he actually lost you!

Strategy #3 — The “Jealousy” Text.“I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!”By saying this, you’re telling him that you’re actually dating other people right now… which will in turn make him jealous. This is a good thing. By saying this, you’re sub-communicating to him that you’re actually wanted by other guys. Remember, men are attracted to women that are wanted by other guys, so by saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss, mister!”Remember, you can’t just simply send these texts to him and expect good results… you need to have a plan of attack, and send these messages right when he’s most likely to take them seriously… only then will he begin to feel attraction for you and induce a “fear of loss” within him.In the free presentation below, I’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex boyfriend want you again. No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — I’ll be able to give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.But you better hurry up because this video won’t be online forever… demand has been overwhelming and there’s no way I’ll be able to afford hosting it online for much longer.So hurry up and check out the video below.

[butchboromir]

one of my thought exercises that i’ve been thinking over for the past 3 days is like how could i feasibly end up going to see the 2023 felsenfest tour. like. ok. so it takes place oct 2023. i have a little less than a year to save. i will be in college. but that doesn’t matter my professors will live if i skip 3-5 days to go see my favorite band ever. SO. also this got really long so i’m putting it under a readmore everyone say thanks

the cheapest flights to germany that i’ve seen are like $400 roundtrip, realistically it would be more in $800 dollar range (because a lot of the budget airlines charge for stuff like baggage etc). but for the sake of this i’m going to say $1500 just to be generous (paranoid). 

i’m gonna need a hotel, for let’s say like 3 nights (get there, concert next day, recovery day + tourist stuff). i would go with like. an ok hotel. like a holiday inn express. and that’s around $125 a night, times 3 so now we’re at $375 for hotels. 

i’ll go with food and drink budget of like $50 bucks a day (so $150 for 3 days) to be generous and because i like food. and i’ll be legally drink there so that will be fun (will get hammered immediately after the concert. perhaps i will make friends in line or whatevs and we can go to a bar or something). 

now transport is a little bit trickier. i’m gonna be optimistic and do public transport mostly? i googled and apparently it’s pretty affordable but i will still be cautious and set aside like for $60-70 bucks just in case. and then rideshare to and from airport is like expensive as fuck at least for the us side so  that’s like ~$100 give or take each time for the US side (total $200) BUT apparently there is some public transport for various airports on the germany side so that gets to go in the public transport fund. so $200 getting to and from the airport.

 AND last but not least concert tix and merch fund. the concert tix are actually pretty cheap they’re like $30-50 bucks and then $100 for merch because i can’t order any in the us (won’t ship) so i have to take advantage of it. SO THIS TOTALS TO

$1500 - round trip flight tickets

$375 - hotels

$150 - food

$270 - all transport

$150 - tickets and merch

so TOTAL is $2345. WHICH. hypothetically. i could save up when i go back to work (and if i am working 12 hrs a week part time while in school and then during the summer more probs). BUUUUUUUT like realistically that’s a lot of money that like i really should be using so i don’t go into as much debt from college

also as an addendum IF i chose two concert dates directly next to eachother (like stuttgart+munich, which are on the 20th+21st) i COULD add like an extra day and then take a bus/train to the next concert. so add on an extra day of food, hotel, train or bus fare ($30ish?), and one more concert ticket then my total would be around $2700

[blueroan-equestrian]

Dallas Winston

What if…. Smut ahead

I laid on the floor of my boyfriend’s friends bathroom floor after the hundredth time puking. Buck, my boyfriend’s friend, stood in the door way and chuckled, “Looks like someone’s pregnant.”

I propped myself up on my elbows, “God I hope not, we’ve only done it once and it was my first time.”

Buck laughed again, “I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you toots, but uh you might want to have a talk with Dallas, he’s not exactly daddy material let alone boyfriend material.”

I groaned knowing he was probably right. After all when we first started dating, the first thing he told me was that he wasn’t the faithful type. But since we have started dating he really hasn’t been sleeping around that I have heard of at least. He flirts a little but not like he used to. It was odd but it was what convinced me to finally sleep with him. But if Buck was right, what was I going to do? There was no way wild boy Dallas would stay if he found out I was pregnant. I was just a good time to him with a bit of a chase. How could I have let this happen? Tears streamed down my face not noticing that Dallas had come back from the gas station with his smokes. “Doll, what’s with the tears?” He questions with a laugh. I teared up more which freaked him out. “Doll? What’s wrong? Are you sick? Damn, I knew that stew was bad. I’m sorry baby.”

I shook my head, “No I’ve been sick in the morning for a while and I think Buck might be right.”

Before I could continue he jumped in, “Right about what?”

“I think that I might be pregnant!”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Man… you can’t be serious. You only let me touch you that one time. You can’t be pregnant…man… can you?”

I looked at him tearfully, “I think I am, I’m sick but not, things smell different and taste different. I don’t know… I might be.”

He bobbed his head and body awkwardly thinking, “when was your last period?”

I shrugged, “I’m not sure… maybe a week or so before we did it.”

“So you should be getting it any day now?… ok no need to panic um… I will just run back to the gas station and pick up a test… I’m sure it’s just a stomach bug.” He whispered before kissing my head and walked off.

When he got back he read the box as he shifted uncomfortably, “Ok, pee in this cup and then we’ll use this dropper thing to put it on the test thing.” We did the rest in silence until it the little plus popped up. “Positive… is that good?”

Emotionally drained I sighed, “Depends on how you feel about me being pregnant.”

He ran his hands through his hair again cursing, “Fuck man… I don’t know how to be a dad. I’d make such a lousy dad… I don’t know anything about babies.”

I chuckled nervously, “What are you trying to tell me Dallas? You going to stay?”

He looks at me and then joined me on the floor, “I’m not going to be a dead beat dad like my old man… but I doubt I’ll be much better… I mean look at me… I’m just a delinquent. Who wants a dad like me? Darrel would make a good one but not me… but I won’t abandon it either.”

I nodded thinking about what to say next. “So… parenting classes?”

“Parenting classes? Sounds like something a Socs made up… man…could we even afford that?”

I bit my lip, I hadn’t told him I came from a well off family, but he never asked. I was never one for fancy clothes or snobby friends. My parents know I have a boyfriend from the other side of town and they don’t like it but they haven’t met him. What would they say about this? Would they kick me out if I wanted him to be around? Or would they try to force him to marry me, thus effectively getting him to run? All these thoughts I hadn’t realized I went from crying to sobbing, until Dallas pulled me into his lap and uncharacteristically started cooing “Babe … it’s okay I will get the money… don’t worry it’s okay I’ll clean my act up.”

It took me a minute to get myself together to explain myself, “I should have had this talk with you earlier because now we have even more to get through… while my parents reaction to this could change things I’m from the west side…”

“But you are always working that job at your college campus. Why would you need to work if you got money for school already?”

“To have my own money… which isn’t really that much as it doesn’t exactly pay well and if I get cut off, I’m going to have to drop out of school and then what?”

“Man… I don’t know but that’s my baby in there and I intend on not being some dead beat dad everyone seems to think that I am going to be.” He states standing us both up. “I want to meet your parents and we can tell them together.”

I give him a wtf look before asking, “What’s going on? Have I dreamed of you getting your shit together but I never thought you would ever even suggest trying to get it together.”

Dallas scoffed, “Then why date me? To tell your rich friends your dating a poor bad boy?”

“No! You said it your self your too wild to be faithful.” I spat getting annoyed myself.

He began to fidget, “Yeah… I was that guy… until I saw you. And…In the beginning I did try to sleep around but… I don’t know it was different and I lost interest in just fucking any girl... It’s new to me too man…are you really going to make me say it?”

“Yes because I don’t know what your trying to say.”

“I… I don’t know man…I have feelings for you.”

He’s still jittery and I roll my eyes but know for him that’s the closest thing to I love you. I reluctantly relent and come in for a hug. “I love you too.”

“Pshh” he tried to play it cool as he gave me an one armed hug, “Yeah I don’t know what you’re talking about man…” he gave me a squeeze but couldn’t get himself to look at me. But I kissed up at his jaw earning a smile and then some playful kisses. “Alright, alright, we need to make a plan. Isn’t that what you are always babbling on about?”

“What kind of plan?” I asked trying to see how serious he was about this.

“Like how we will keep you in school, where we will live, how we will take care of the baby if you’re in school and I actually get a job.”

“If I’m lucky I won’t get cut off and my parents will still pay for school but if I do, student loans. Living…” I was unsure about living as there were so many variables to consider.

Buck stuck his head into the bathroom door, “you can keep your room I won’t kick y’all out. Besides babies are chick magnets. Just letting you stay with a baby will get me tail. So two in one, you can know that you’re housing is secure and I might be able to get tail for it.”

Dallas and Buck play rough housed before Dallas trotted back, “So housing solved, child care… maybe your mom? Or uh… maybe Two-bit? He’s a drunk but he wouldn’t…” my glare got him to reevaluate his line of thought, “Okay, okay not Two-bit… but then if you’re parents aren’t willing to help… what then? Do you know anyone who would watch a kid for little to no money? Two-bit might be all we have.”

I heave a sigh, “You’re right but he’s a last resort.”

Dally agreed and after a moment of silence, I began to rub up against him. Specially my hips against his pelvis. Dally smirks, “Now sweetheart, do you really think we should be doing that if we are going to be going to see your parents?”

I nipped at his lips, “What if we do it in the shower.”

“The shower, hmmm? Well who would I be if I denied my princess what she wants?” Dally wiggled his eyebrows and pulled me in.

We locked the bathroom door and began to strip one another. He got the water ready and pulled me into the shower with him. His hands skimmed down my body as his lips graced my lips. His fingers found my clit and he began to rub circles on my nub. I pulled at his hair with one hand as the other drifted down to ghost over his semi. “Is this for me?” I hummed.

“Stop being such a tease.” He whispered as he nipped at my collar bone.

I took him firmly in my hand and began to stroke him. He groaned and withdrew his hand and swatted away mine. He pressed me up against the cold tiled wall and wrapped my legs around his waist. “You ready for me?” I nodded and he plunged himself deep inside my core. Dally groaned and threw his head back as he began to thrust himself into me. I had my arms wrapped tightly around him and my own head buried in the crevice of his neck.

He kept a steady pace until he began to meet his high which triggered my own. We cleaned our selves up and simply went to bed rather than face reality in this moment. “I’m going to be a daddy… and baby I’m never going to leave you.”