#i’d love custom ones but i can’t imagine how much they’d cost considering the standard ones are 80 dollars. they’re just being rude to me

[groupwest]

evil pharmacy ladies won’t let me order my compression stockings over the phone even though i know exactly what size and mmHg i need… if you need to measure me so bad why didn’t you do that yesterday when i was There!!!

[how-masterful]

Despite It All

Dhawan!master x reader

Summary: When your new collar isn't all that you’d hoped for, you go to the Master for some much needed assistance. You soon find hes more than willing to help, and learn for yourself just how much your happiness means to the time lord.

Notes: A fic for the ever so fabulous @plethora-of-imagines​ , who’s been the most patient person I've met for waiting for this one to come out! i hope you enjoy and it lives up to what you’d thought! 

Warnings: Mentions of collars and BDSM practices.

The collar hurt. Alot.

It rubbed harshly against your throat, tough leather digging into the sides of your neck and almost drawing blood when you swallowed. The thick metal buckle rubbed abrasively against the back of your neck, leaving a deep indent in your skin. In short, it was an utter pain to wear. And you felt slightly responsible.

You'd chosen it while you were on a distant planet, after dragging the Master into a secluded sex shop and begging for a souvenir collar to commemorate his latest victory. It was thick and sturdy, embroidered with purple threads and hefty enough to provide a new thrill to a scene. It was expensive too, and you'd batted your eyelashes and promised a session to him when you got back to the TARDIS as soon as he looked at the price.

However, you were also very, very spoilt- and the collar, having lived up to Master's standards, was instantly yours.

So, after all that begging, the fact it was absolute hell to wear made you feel insanely guilty. But you'd faced this situation before.

Collars were trial and error, when not custom made by the Master. They could be too loose or too thin, resulting in real dangers emerging during play. They could simply not live up to the standards you'd held it to when you bought it- of course you made everything look beautiful to him, but on the shelf and on the neck were two very different things. And other times, Master just didn't like them. And that would kill any hope for adding it to your collection.

However, when they'd hurt, it became a much more serious issue. Especially if you refused to tell him. Past situations had resulted in several offending collars being flung in a rage into a supernova, countless tears from you as the ointment he'd provide stung your wounds, and the full brunt of his disappointed eyes causing you to absolutely crumble under the weight. So this time, you decided to be honest. But the notion still petrified you.

"Master?"

You'd found him in the kitchen, placing two teabags into your favourite mugs and filling up the kettle. He'd turned in surprise at your voice, eyes softening as you padded over to his side.

"Now there she is, Masters good girl- looking beautiful in her new collar"

You smiled weakly, a bite of embarrassment nipping at your bottom lip. You gently snaked your hand up to his bicep, encircling his bicep and letting your head fall to his shoulder. The Master raised an eyebrow, abandoning the tea on the side.

"Are you alright, love? I just called you my good girl and complimented, all you in one sentence- and yet you're still able to stand on your own. Something must be wrong in the world of Y/N."

You sighed, smiling weakly into his shirt. Of course he knew you this well by now, he'd had years of practice to get your behaviour down to a T. He slowly cupped your chin, guiding your eyes to meet his. His expression was laced with confusion and concern, eyes scanning over you for any sign of distress.

"Well?"

This was something you could show him better, rather than tell him- you'd decided that on your way to find him. You simply allowed your hand to fall to his own, entangling your fingers in his own before guiding him wordlessly towards the playroom. The Master's eyes widened, before his expression settled into something content.

"Ah! Desperate for a session, are we doll?"

You shook your head and squeezed his hand, carefully opening the door. The lights snapped on with a gentle hum as you guided him to sit beside you on the end of the bed, the very confused Master taking your other hand into his own and brushing his thumbs over your knuckles. You took a breath, before allowing yourself to meet his eager browns. God, this was going to be harder than you thought.

"So... Um... You know how much I appreciate everything you do for me, right?"

"Of course" The Master replied, nodding his head as you took another breath.

"And... You also know how much I appreciate everything you get for me, right?"

"Yes... I'm not sure where this is going." He replied again. The Master's eyes narrowed as he pulled his head back, suspicious gaze raking over you once more. You shrunk in on yourself slightly, gulping at his judgemental expression.

"And... I can tell you anything- Even if it's something you may get annoyed at me for?"

The time lords eyes shot back open wide, hand pulling from your linked fingers to hold the side of your cheek. You instantly lent into his touch, desperate for the grounding connection.

"Always- whats this all about, love? Somethings not upsetting you is it?"

"No!" You blurted out, a little too quickly for his taste. The suspicion grew further upon his face, causing your hands to tremble more and more. You shook your head and tried to regain any composure you could grasp hold of.

"No, I mean... Not upsetting, per say but... hurting."

The Master's expression grew soft, the other hand reaching towards your face as you nervously played with your own hands in your lap. He looked troubled, but most definitely not with you, and the guilt once again began to ravage rapidly at your core.

"Somethings hurting you? Is it something I said? Y/N, you know I don’t ever mean you when I insult the human species-"

You laughed. Of course he'd be concerned about that. He was always so protective over you, he never enjoyed considering you as a part of the utterly detestable human crowd. His expression morphed back into a look of confusion, lips pursed to ask another flurry of questions, but you silenced him with a small peck.

"No, you haven't said anything that’s made me feel like anything less than a goddess. Its... The collar. Not the fact I wear one, i'd rather die than not, but this one. This collar. It... Hurts."

It felt as if the weight had been utterly ripped from your shoulders. You let them drop, sighing happily as you relished in the free feeling inside your chest. You met the Master's eyes once more, but the look of concern that plastered itself across his face didn't do much to calm the rest of your nerves.

You felt your heart began to race as you explained why.

"It rubs, for a start. Its far too tight and cuts in more than it doesn't, the buckle digs in when I breathe and it's left my neck stiff as anything."

His expression didn't change, causing the guilt to ramp up its ravenous speed with a vengeance. You quickly rushed to cover your back, heart thundering against your chest as you began to trip on your words.

"Not that I don’t like it, I mean I don't like it 'cause it hurts but I love it cause its pretty and you bought it as a gift and, and I know it cost you so much and I'm so so grateful for it and I don’t want you to think i'm not... i’m sorry I shouldn't have bothered i'll learn to deal with it I-"

You were suddenly silenced by a kiss, the Masters lips connecting with yours like a rolling cloud of calm. The tension melted from your shoulders as you allowed yourself to let go, his hands delicately framing your face as his lips dimmed the chaos bubbling in your gut. Your eyes fluttered shut as you eventually parted, his lips leaving your own looking glossy and plump.

"You will most certainly not have to deal with anything hurting you. Master's so proud of you for coming to tell him- Its his job to ensure his good girl is always cared for and comfortable. And who are you?"

A sudden blush spread itself across your cheeks, your gaze turning bashful as you tried to hide your growing smile.

"I'm Master's good girl."

"Yes you are."

The Master placed a sweet kiss to the top of your forehead, arms encapsulating your shoulders and pulling you close to his chest. You sighed happily, nuzzling into his bare neck and teasing it with kisses.

He grinned, a chill trailing down his spine he gently booped the end of your nose.

"That’s sweet, pet. It really is. But it's your neck we really should be focusing on. You know what to do now, don't you doll? Off you go."

You giggled with anticipation as you pulled yourself from the Master's grip and headed towards the cabinet of drawers. The large, dark cabinet stood at the side of the room, ornate and decorated with engraved Gallifreyan and several handles. This however, wasn't any ordinary set of drawers. This was the home for your collars. And, over the years, you'd accumulated quite the expansive collection.

You instantly fell into position: hair tied out of the way behind your head, neck exposed and chin up high, form kneeling on the floor with your hands poised on your knees. This was the position he enjoyed you in when dealing with your collars- you took it when he adjusted it, decorated you with it, or decided to change it out for one of your other many designs.

You had quite the plethora of sizes and colours- thin silver bands for subtlety, thick red posture collars for a scene, and a whole other rainbow of designs that could fit any mood you desired. Or, more often than not, what Master desired you wear.

The Master threw his coat from his shoulders, allowing it to fall onto the bed as he began to roll up the sleeves of his shirt. The sight almost made you drool, his exposed forearms a positively dreamy sight to you. Every single part of had the the power to make you ridiculously desperate for him- he jokingly called it his superpower when you'd almost fainted at the reveal of his soft stomach one evening.

"Excited, are we love? I can't tell what makes you happier: that collar being replaced for something much more suitable, or the sight of me slightly undressed."

You cheekily avoided his gaze as he advanced towards the unit of drawers, pulling at one of the handles and peeking inside at its contents.

"Now then, what shall we go for? We want comfort, something to keep that poor neck of yours from feeling so sore."

He mulled over the designs, fingers dancing in the air as he picked and chose between them. You awaited his decision eagerly, this was always on of your favourite parts of the process: Knowing what Master had in store for you. He always did like a surprise.

"I know... Lets go with you. I've noticed this ones been sneaking up the ranks of your favourites, lately- You can't say Master's not attentive with you, darling."

Ever so gently the collar was removed from the drawer, buckle jingling as he played with the strip of leather. It was a dark purple, padded with golden velvet and ornately decorated with swirling circular Gallifreyan, the intricate shapes all spelling out the word "Master". You nodded excitedly, smile creeping up your cheeks as he showed you the item in his hands.

"What do we say, love?"

"Thank you, Master."

"Good girl."

With a satisfied huff the Master shut the drawer, before adjusting himself to kneel on one knee before you. He allowed two fingers to slip under your chin, lifting your gaze to meet his own as he placed the collar in your lap.

"You know how this works, pet: That ones got to come off for this one to go on. You wont go long without one, Master promises. Are you ready?"

The nod you gave couldn't have been more eager.

"Yes, Master."

You kept your chin raised as the masters hands tenderly reached to the back of your neck, fingers carefully unbuckling the silver clasp and ever so slowly pulling the collar from your neck. You gasped loudly, out of a culmination of both shock and fear, the sudden cold air hitting your neck combining with the relief placed on your skin.

Being without your collar was a nightmarish thought- you'd grown highly attached to the idea of wearing one, displaying the fact you were taken and claimed by the Master for the world to see. It was a symbol of him committing himself to you. Essentially like a wedding ring. But this was much more personal, and the moments during a change in which your neck fell bare never failed to stand your hair on end.

The Master paused, fingers poised on the ends of the collar, keeping the front of the material pressed against the skin of your neck. You gulped, allowing your thoughts to gather, before giving him a slow nod. That was enough for him to continue pulling the material from your neck, and soon the collar was laying in his hands.

You knew for a fact when this was over, the dreaded thing would be flung at full force into the nearest supernova. He had a habit of flirting things that displeased him into the vast emptiness of space. It was his favourite method of waste disposal- or at least, what the Master classed as waste. You were more than sure there were more than a few TCE victims floating out there, somewhere- you'd seen him throw them out one by one yourself.

Before you could even react to the sensation of an absent collar the Masters lips were on you, murmuring praise and pressing kisses into every part of your neck. You sighed against his touch, the typical fear of sitting collarless masked with the glorious attention.

"Good girl" he murmured, placing a tender peck to a reddening area of skin, causing you to involuntarily shiver.

"Such a good girl for telling Master... Following his rules and making him so very happy..."

You bit your lip and held back a moan of delight, eyes fluttering shut as you felt the wave of pleasure wash over you once more. His breath was warm against the tender skin, soft lips pressing over each and every mark. You gasped even louder as the master slowly began creating a mark of his own, teeth nipping at the clear skin on the side of your neck. Your teeth grit together and you groaned at the sensation, the old collar slipping forgotten from his hands as they reached for the new item.

You felt your heart beat flutter excitedly. It was finally time.

With a soft peck to the underside of your jaw the Master pulled away, clasping the purple collar in his hands and raising the item to your neck. You lent forward against the plush gold velvet, eager to feel the material against your skin and the newly blossoming bruise on the side of your neck.

The velvet was soft, sliding against your throat with absolute ease. You felt comfortable in this collar, a far cry from the harsh friction of the other one you had worn. A small jingle from the metal clasp sounded behind your head, causing you to giggle with relief. Finally, comfort and security. You couldn't be more ecstatic.

"Let me know when its tight enough" the Master softly asked, a rare tenderness held within his tone. You knew for a fact he only used that voice with you.

The tighter the collar became around your neck, the more your satisfaction grew. Once it reached a suitable tightness around your throat you let out a happy squeak, the buckle soon being locked into place by the Master's nimble fingers. The sensation around your neck was miles above the previous collar, the comforting padding gentle against the aggravated skin, the golden stitching almost glowing against the purple.

This was a collar Master had commissioned for you as a reward several months ago, and it now sat amongst your most favourite. The Master could see the joy in your eyes and couldn't help but smile, framing your face with his hands once more.

"There, Masters precious human looks good as new. Comfy now, doll?"

"Perfect. Thank you, Master."

"Good girl. C'mere."

At his words, you instantly dove into the masters chest, his arms winding around your shoulders as your nose found comfort in the crook of his neck. The Master's fingers wandered to your tied up hair, soon releasing it to flow free and casting the hair tie to the side. He began to toy with the ends, chuckling at your immediate shiver. You nestled closer against the time lords chest.

"Thank you, Master. For caring about me." You murmured, lips soft against his collar.

He hummed out a comforting sound, arms holding you more firmly in his grip.

"Any time, pet. Come rain or shine, Master will always be there to care for you. Lets say its become a favourite hobby of his to see you satisfied."

You returned a small laugh, pulling away slightly to catch his fond gaze.

"Careful, Master. Keep talking like that and people will start to think you actually like humans."

The Master rolled his eyes, smirking down at your cheeky expression and shaking his head.

"Don’t get any ideas, doll- I don't and I never will. They're boring and primitive and far too important to the Doctor than they reasonably should be. However, there is one... one very unique human that i've taken quite the fancy too. A sweet little thing called Y/N."

The blush that scurried over your cheeks was down right traitorous.

"Why? What makes this Y/N so different from the rest?"

The Master pondered for a moment, drumming his fingers against your shoulders in thought.

"Well... She's pretty. Very, very pretty. A sweetheart at first glance, but laced with a very tempting and exciting dark side. She's funny, resourceful, loving and intelligent- And quite possibly the most cuddle obsessed creature i've ever met in my many, many lives."

You let out a bashful giggle. You didn't think your heart could race any faster in the presence of the time lord holding you, but you could've sworn you felt it skipping beat after amorous beat.

"And is that why you love her?" You asked, tilt your head get a better view of the Masters face.

The time lord shook his head once more with a grin, his hand reaching to cup your cheek, stroking away the flyaway hairs as he pulled your face closer to his own. You sighed contently, his eyes so full of fondness for you. If the Masters face was the last thing you could ever see in your lifetime, you knew deep down you wouldn't have it any other way.

"No, all those are the reasons I like her. Despite the man that I've become, the things I've done and the people I've hurt, she still calls me her Master. Commitment like that is a beautiful rarity. She stays by my side no matter what, but isn't afraid to speak her pretty little mind. You want to know why I love her?"

The Master placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, a small, sweet little peck that said so much, and made the butterflies in your stomach swarm with absolute adoration.

"I love her because despite it all, I get to call her mine."

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