#i wrote this while looking sadly at my own cup of tea which i had let go cold

[wonijinjin]

seventeen members with a sick s/o

author’s note: wrote this because everyone seems to catch the flu going around (including myself), hope this gives you all a bit of comfort:)

synopsis: what the title says

word count: 2.2k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairings: seventeen members x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of illness, throwing up, headaches, sneezing, fevers, coughing, fainting, food, a few curse words

cheol and you had been cuddling on the couch when he noticed how warm you were in his hold and how fatigued you looked. “my love is everything alright? you feel too warm.” you didn’t have the energy in you to reply properly so you whined in response, him not needing it after he felt your cheeks. “you are burning up, let’s get you to bed, love.” he said while wrapping you in a blanket and carrying you in a princess hold back to the bedroom.

- overall he would be very attentive when it comes to your wellbeing, quickly noticing how your energy levels have changed (mans has 12 kids, he can detect these things from miles away, parental instincts)

- you are his top priority; he would be running around to get you medication and everything else you need

- bonus points for babying you and sweet talking because he knows how sensitive you get when not feeling good

hannie had always been a light sleeper, so it wasn’t a surprise when he woke up to you coughing during the night. “angel, are you okay?” he would ask, worried if you chocked on your own saliva in your dreams or if you were sick, which was the case sadly. “do you want me to stay up with you till you fall asleep? you can take cough drops in the morning.” he would offer while soothing you, and you would gladly accept.

- he is known to be playful, but he immediately becomes serious if he sees you feeling unwell

- would want to cuddle with you all day, it gives him an excuse to be lazy and rest aswell (which he needs btw, being so handsome is tiring)

- bonus points for singing a sweet melody to help you fall asleep, his giggles are so cute they would cure you in a heartbeat

joshua got a text from you saying that you were sent home because you fainted at work, so he called you in a rush. “darling what happened? did you not take care of yourself? i need to look after you more since you cannot do it yourself.” after you explained the situation to him he would be joking around a bit to lighten the mood if he knew you were alright. “wait for me, i’m on my way home with your favourite tea.” he said before hanging up, your heart warm due to knowing he was on his way.

- he would be sooo gentle, kind of being afraid of disturbing you in any way since he knew how tired you were

- you can expect all the kisses, smooches in the world from him (he says this will cure your illness faster, but in reality he just wants to kiss you continouosly)

- bonus points for getting you a new plushie since he couldn’t leave his baby without an emotional support toy if he needed to run to the store

jun knew you were sick the moment he saw you drinking a warm cup of tea; you weren’t the biggest fan of it, you preferred coffee. “dear what hurts? is it your throat?” he asked immediately, already on his way to the kitchen to make you some ginger shots which are well known to be full of vitamins. you followed him, mumbling about how you felt achy all over to which he kissed you on the forehead. “don’t worry dear, i will take care of you!”

- he is quite calm on the outside but he is freaking out on the inside for sure, being afraid of messing up something and making you feel worse

- he pulls up the chinese remedies he knows and hopes for the best, honestly a bit lost about what to do, thinks your immune system just needs enough time to recover

- bonus points for not being afraid to kiss you because you really crave physical affection and need him to cuddle with you

hoshi didn’t realise you were feeling under the weather until you actually sneezed on him, hard. “oh my god baby tiger are you okay? are you dying???” he would be shouting in a worried tone, making your ear ring so much you had to shush him to be quiet. he goes out to buy you tissues and nasal spray to help with the congestion and on the way back he would buy snacks which you would appreciate a lot.

- very scared tiger, doesn’t know how to help properly other than suggesting taking vitamins

- calls his mom for help on making soup and cooks a delicious nutritious meal for you thanks to her which he will brag about for years saying how well he took care of you

- bonus points for following your orders very well, he does everything you ask him to

wonwoo knew something was up with you when you were more clingy than usual; climbing into his lap and resting your head on his shoulder while he was gaming, heat radiating off of you. “are you tired sweetheart? you feel a bit clammy, are you coming down with something?” he would ask in a deep concerned tone to which you just nodded into his shoulder. “why don’t we get you under those warm sheets while i make you a tea, hm?” he would scoop you up gently, bringing you to the comfort of your bedsheets.

- one of the best caretakers in seventeen, he is not too suffocating but will be by your side in a heartbeat if you need anything

- would not let you do any chores; his top priority would be keeping you in bed to sleep off the virus you managed to catch

- bonus points for reading to you at night when you can’t fall asleep due to the symptoms and keeping you on his chest to calm you down

while being in his studio you decided to take a nap on the couch which was a warning sign to woozi, because you never took naps during the day, only when feeling unwell or upset. when you woke up his face welcomed you. “let me take you home, you are clearly in no condition to nap on a couch.” he would insist, picking you up and motioning you towards the door. “i will take a break aswell, on the way home we will buy you some medicine, okay?” he would assure you that you are in the best hands, letting sleep overtake you in the car.

- he is not the type to be overbearing and extremely worried, although he knows how you tend to overwork yourself, so he will make sure you don’t overdo things, but won’t forbid anything

- however, when you are asleep and he sees you in pain his heart aches so he would be quietly whispering to whoever is up in the clouds to make you feel better soon, because he can’t bare seeing you be so weak and fragile

- bonus points for tucking you in when you fall asleep and frequently checking up on you while he works

minghao found out you are sick through your friend whom he accidentally bumps into on his way home. “y/n you didn’t you tell me you were sick? stay put i will be there in a few minutes.” he would rush to your apartment, a sad smile taking place on his face when he saw you wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by tissues on the couch. “ahw, you really got that bug, didn’t you? i know just the right ways to fasten your recovery.”

- he is very calm when he handles the situation, quickly assessing the damage done to your immune system and brainstorming ideas to solve it

- his tea-lover self will surely make you some which will taste really bitter as it is probably some chinese remedy, but you will drink it anyway, because he insists

- bonus points for cleaning up your apartment and making you dinner to have something in you while taking your meds

mingyu woke up in the middle of the night to the shuffling of the bedsheets and you telling him you just threw up. “my poor baby. you must feel horrible. let’s get you into a nice bubble bath, yeah? then while you relax a bit i will bring you a few crackers and start making a delicious soup.” he would say while wrapping you into his arms; no matter how late it was he wanted to help.

- he is basically a chef so you would have all the food you crave, or if you don’t have an appetite he would try to get something really light into your system

- he may be more whiny than you since he is very worried, but he will gladly shut up about it and talk to you about random stuff so it takes your mind off of the sickness

- bonus points for cuddling you every minute, the man is so clingy you could not escape his hold even if you wanted to

when you were watching a movie a coughing fit took over you and dk started patting your back without hesitation. “sunshine, are you sick? wait, let me get you a glass of water, okay? stay here, your new nurse and fantastic boyfriend will take care of you!” he went to the kitchen for the drink, returning with a blanket from your bedroom, draping over your half asleep, trembling form.

- this baby would be so worried he would literally start crying if he saw you get worse despite taking care of you, and would think his efforts were not enough (which is of course a lie, he is doing more than expected)

- would cancel all his practices and any meeting he has so he could take care of you, monitoring your temperature and consulting with you doctor via emails

- bonus points for making you laugh even when you feel like absolute shit with his funny and silly faces and bad jokes

when you woke up in the morning seungkwan was already all over you, asking so many questions all at once you hardly understood any of them. “did you take your vitamins last night as i told you? are you feeling better? did you take your temperature yesterday? we should take it now actually.” he would say while getting you breakfast in bed along with the thermometer.

- he would be handling you like a child and would be caring for you like a mother hen, he is just worried about you to be honest

- best at having all the medicine and vitamins you need, not just in literal meaning, but in food too; he would have so many nutritious fruits and bone broth soup for you to eat, he knows it helps restore your energy

- bonus points for letting you do whatever you want after recovering since he feels guilty about you gettng sick (even though he had nothing to do with it)

vernon stepped into the bedroom and was greeted by darkness and your form laying on the bed, curled up, shivering. “you okay there, babe?” he moved closer to you, moving the covers above you, tucking you in nicely. “do you need me to get you some tea?” he asked, brows knitted together. “you know what, i will get you some anyway.” not even waiting for your reply he disappeared into the kitchen.

- kinda malewife material, he cares about you so much and knows how bad being sick can be so he babies you (which is very rare for him to do tbh)

- a silent lover and his actions talk more than he actualy does during the period of your illness, probably does things like asking mingyu to make you some soup (boy cannot cook to save his life)

- bonus points for making you a relaxing playlist while he makes you a warm bath to loosen your muscles and clear your sinuses because he read that steam can help a lot with congestion and overall stiffness

even though he is the youngest in seventeen dino worries about you a lot, and he wants to check up on you every minute while you are unwell. “hi darling, did you take your medicine for the fever? did you sleep well? no? don’t worry i am heading home in a few minutes, my sweetheart needs me.” he would rush home to you if he sensed you missed him and would be taking care of you for weeks if needed, puffing up your pillows and buying you the most expensive tissues so it won’t hurt your nose.

- so soft when he feels needed, he would spoon feed you the porridge he makes and pat your head in bed until you fall asleep

- he just loves babying his lover, since he has received the baby treatment from his hyungs he would be pretty good at knowing ways to make you feel better quickly; like putting a cool cloth on your head

- bonus points for buying you a whole new closet of warmer clothes since he insists you keep warm after you caught a nasty cold in fall, he does not care about the price if it is about his precious baby

[darkietrashcan]

Recommending my favourite BKDK canon compliant fics

Remember to read the tags! I'm only gonna dump some fics here and tell you WHY you should read them. Plus, a few of my recs have MANGA SPOILERS. But don't worry cause I literally wrote which ones have them. So if you're an anime only avoid them and check the ones safe for you.

THE WAY YOU USED TO DO by edema_ruh / 660k https://archiveofourown.org/works/16392173

Safe for anime onlies!

As I previously said in another post, this is the BKDK HOLY BIBLE. It's canon compliant as their relationship starts during the early stages of the manga (post kacchan vs deku 2, I guess). You see their relationship develop from enemies to rivals to friends to lovers and it's amazing. Their characterization is so well done that you feel like you're reading Horikoshi's writing. In fact, it even predicted a lot of scenes that happened during the manga. Imagine being such a talented author to understand two characters so well that you'll even write scenes that will happen at some point in the source material. It's simply incredible!! It's a must-read for every bkdk fan. The best Slow-Burn ever.

2. the floor ain't so bad (when you're looking up) by thispieceofmind 14k words

Safe for anime onlies.

Read this one a while ago, but I remember them sparring a lot and their relationship evolved flawlessly. If you like bkdk sparring and expressing their feelings into actions this one's for you. (bkdk's love language is sparring, prove me wrong.)

3. Do not disturb by surveycorpsjean (MANGA SPOILERS!! Read after watching S6) / 10k

Set post chapter 322 (Bakugo's apology & Deku's retrieval). A fic that explores bkdk's relationship after Deku returns to U.A. Lotta hurt/comfort. Katsuki takes care of a very sensible and depressed and hurt Deku and it's so. soooo. well done. Feelings realization. Very cute!! This fic was what I desperately needed after reading Bakugo's apology.

4. Sing one we know by froggenbie (MANGA SPOILERS!! Has spoilers for eventual S7, so it is not safe for anime onlies) /33k

This. Fic. I think it's my top 2, below The Way You Used to Do. It's PERFECT. The best canon-compliant fic that's up to date with the manga. (Post the second war!) You'll see bkdk's relationship evolve in different domestic scenes, involving the class 1-A at some points. It's slow burn-ish since it's only 33k words. But the way the author wrote their relationship evolving felt so canon... One thing that I LOVE in bkdk is to see fics that explore their relationship, that evolve them from rivals to friends and then, to lovers. My cup of tea. It was an amazing read and the comfort I felt once I finished it... Not as in hurt/comfort but, it filled a desire I had to read well-written bkdk.

5. NSFW - Procrastination by capncapnk / 4.4k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095300

Safe for anime onlies.

This is canon compliant because this is the way *I* feel that bkdk would look like as friends-with-benefits- who will eventually become sth else. Good smut. Good characterization. Well written. Chefs kiss.

This is all I've got to offer you, sadly. If you've got any more recs, I'll be pleased to read them, as long as they are canon compliant and not AU's.

[fincalinde]

qi rong! i kid, i kid. how about jc.

I will ignore your cruel taunting and focus on my viniferous darling.

a song that reminds me of them

I don't think I have a personal anthem for him, but En Fortapt Bror (A Prodigal Brother) by Rotvelt would probably go on the playlist if I made one, just for this bit alone:

Kan ikke ta det tilbake Kan ikke få du gjort Jeg vil ikke ha tilgivelse Det vil ikke vaske det bort

Can't take it back Can't get you done I don't want forgiveness It won't wash it away

what they smell like

If we're getting poetic, like lotus fragrance and ozone.

an otp

No one in the cast is right for JC but I do think he wants and deserves a suitable wife so I like the idea of reading something where he's in a relationship. His problem is that he needs just, so much therapy before he can make an effective life partner for anyone. He features in this postcanon AU I wrote and that's a reasonable depiction of how I think things could shake out for him after many years have passed if he's worked on himself. Basically, I know his extracanonical list of qualities he requires in a wife is meant to be humorous, but I tried to incorporate them into an OC while also making her a match for him.

I dabbled in reading Sangcheng because I am a slave to @starwife and like, in theory, many many many many many years postcanon who knows what might happen? And mightn't that be interesting? Sadly I have come to the conclusion that it's too much of a stretch and isn't my cup of tea. Pls forgive

a notp

I was racking my brain to think of a JC pairing I kneejerk hate beyond the general 'well, he isn't really compatible with any of the characters we meet' stance and then I realised I had forgotten Xicheng exists. Pause for audience laughter.

What can I even add here? It's based on nothing and it's not even like there's the intelligence of a thoughtful resistant read behind it. The laziest possible pair the spares approach taken by people whose reading comprehension is so poor they think JGY is an irredeemable cackling villain and WWX is a noble woobie. Thankfully it's easy for me to avoid and therefore ironically ends up irritating me less than bad Xiyao in practice.

favorite platonic/familial relationships

I love his relationship with his mother. She's just horrendous to him and I don't think he ever has any concrete evidence she loves him until their final moments together, but what I find most interesting and realistic is that he seems to understand her. He can see why she is who she is, which doesn't in any way mitigate the damage she does but is an important part of their dynamic because it's an element of why he defends her and it contributes to how he internalises her criticisms.

My favourite JC and YZY moment is this:

Jiang Cheng was stuck between his father and his mother. After a moment of hesitation, he moved to his mother’s side. Holding his shoulders, Madam Yu pushed him forward for Jiang FengMian to see, “Sect Leader Jiang, it seems that some things I have to say. Look carefully—this, is your own son, the future head of Lotus Pier. Even if you frown upon him just because I was the one who bore him, his surname is still Jiang! … I don’t believe for one second that you haven’t heard of how the outside people gossips, that Sect Leader Jiang has still not moved on from a certain Sanren though so many years have passed, regarding the son of his old friend as a son of his own; they’re speculating if Wei Ying is your…”

YZY emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abuses her son. She is failing him as a mother and as a mentor. But she is not failing him as badly as JFM is failing him, and everything she says here is completely correct. And when JC and WWX talk about it afterwards, JC is also correct. WWX and LWJ kill the Xuanwu of Slaughter and no one cares or gives JC credit for his less glamorous contributions. His own father prefers WWX and doesn't even like him, and that is appalling.

WWX means well by trying to gloss over it, but it's an open secret and pretending it's not true is harmful. YZY is also going about it all wrong, but she's the only person who calls JFM out directly for failing his son. Pot, kettle, but there's a reason why when JC is stuck between his parents he ends up going over to his mother's side.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with

I'm going to go radical here and say I don't personally enjoy or want to read any postcanon Twin Heroes reconciliation. The novel is pretty final about how things end up for them, and it's my belief that they are both far better off not being in each other's lives any more. It's sad because they were close as brothers and love each other so deeply, but ultimately it's for the best. They both appear to be in agreement about this.

the position they sleep in

Probably looks all super cool and handsome when he sleeps, but unfortunately not quite as super cool and handsome as WWX.

a crossover au i’d love to see them in

Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Can you imagine.

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn

We all know I'm MDZS first in almost everything, but I'm not a huge fan of JC's hair in the official art. Besides, it cracks me up that JC is far and away the most stylish member of the cast in CQL, and yet there's no indication that it's actually an interest of his. CQL NHS wearing his same basic bitch grey and white yet again while CQL JC swaggers past in his shoulder pads owning the entire world—amazing. How could I pick a favourite? I do like his official photo look though, because the gold looks great with the purple.

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Can we get #29 from the Yandere Prompt List for Cash Wheeler? Those headcanons you wrote about him a bit ago got me feeling a certain way 😳

Soulmates (yandere!Cash Wheeler x mom!reader

Prompt: “Darling, don’t you see? We were made for each other. We’re soulmates,”

Summary: you’re in to deep to pull away now.

warnings: Yandere!Cash Wheeler, mental manipulation

taglist: @fiskers7136 @peachmango-kombucha @kcloveswrestling @bellalutionn @xkennyxomegax @tummyyellin @legit9thlunaticwarrior @auburnwrites @melissahausen @thesusbunny @writtingrose

“Cash is Here!”

You glanced up from where you were cooking, shocked at your daughter’s words. She practically launched herself from where she was staring out the window to run to the door.

“Emma, wait a second!” You tried, setting the knife down to try and stop her from opening the door. Sadly, you were a few seconds to late and the door was thrown open.

“Cash!” She jumped at the man, and he quickly picked her up and tossed her in the air as she giggled.

“Hey princess.”

Your lips were pressed together tightly, watching the two interact. Over the past year, Cash had gotten extremely close to the two of you. When you first met you made it clear you didn’t want a relationship, and at first he seemed to respect that. But as time went on he spent more and more time with you, and your daughter had become attached. That was the only reason you hadn’t cut him out of your life.

“I didn’t realize you were coming over,” you chuckled, hoping to hide your discomfort.

“You invited me, don’t you remember?” You shifted slightly, thinking of his words. You were sure you hadn’t invited him over. “I can leave if you want.”

“No!” Your daughter wrapped her arms around his neck, refusing to let go. Cash looked back at you, making a face that said ‘are you going to break her heart?’

“Don’t worry about it! I hope you like ravioli!” You forced a smile and moved so he could carry Emma into the house.

You avoided Cash for a while, cooking while he played with Emma, but when the food was done there wasn’t any excuse. The table was set, and Emma was sat between the two of them. You were quiet, and Emma was babbling to Cash.

“You stole one of my ravioli!” He accused, grabbing a piece off her plate with his own fork and popping it into his mouth.

“Daddy!”

Your head snapped up, staring directly at the two of them. What had she just called him? Cash didn’t seem to respond to the name, just continuing to talk to your daughter. Hearing that told you everything it needed to. You had to get Cash to take a step back.

———————

You sipped on your tea while waiting for Cash to come back from your daughters room, she had asked him to tuck her in. You knew you had to have a conversation with him.

“She was asleep before I left the room,” he chuckled, walking into the kitchen. When he caught sight of you, his face fell. You wouldn’t look at him, just how you couldn’t almost the entire night. “Hey, is everything ok?”

You finally glanced up, seeing him leaning against the doorway. “I think you need to stop seeing Emma.”

He didn’t move, showing no indication that he heard what you said. You almost wondered if he was going to ignore what you had said.

“What?”

“You’ve…gotten far to close to us over the past year. You’re at every thing for Emma, and inviting yourself over all the time. I’ve tried to put up with it, but after what happened tonight…I can’t ignore it.” You explained. He finally frowned, almost glaring at you.

“So…you want me to stop supporting Emma because she called me daddy tonight?”

“It’s what that name means. She sees you as a dad, but she has a dad. My ex is very involved, and how do I explain that she’s calling someone I’m not dating daddy.”

You had set your cup down, far to nervous to hold it.

“You really should buy better food for her.”

“…what?” You weren’t expecting that as a response.

“You buy shit food, not nearly enough nutrients, but I guess makes sense since you have a shit job. Which is laughable that you don’t seem to take a single day off, even if it’s for Emma.”

“The hell is wrong with you!” You were fighting back tears, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of you crying.

“Her clothes could fit better, she needs an actual yard to play in, you could find her a better school…”

“Stop!” You yelled, marching up to him. A few tears had escaped, and it seemed to open the flood gates.

“Accept it y/n. Without me, you were a shit mom to that little girl.” The moment those words were spoken, you broke down. You were sobbing, wrapping your arms around yourself. You worried every day about how good of a parent you were, but hearing him say that? It was just to much.

He reached out to pull you to his chest, shushing you lightly. “But it’s ok,” he whispered as you sobbed into his chest. “I’m hear to help you, sweetheart. You just have to let me.” He helped you to the living room, sitting in the couch and pulling you into his lap.

“I’ll stay here and help you, because I love you,” he promised. “Emma has excepted that she loves me, and now you need to.” You couldn’t help but grip his shirt, trying to ground yourself. Maybe he was right. Emma loved him so much, and he had given so much to help you. Maybe you were the one I’m the wrong.

“Ok.”

[atleast400relativelysmallworms]

how i think the umbrella academy takes their tea

luther- he doesn’t actually like tea he just wants chocolate milk but doesn’t want to look weird so when he’s offered it asked for really weak tea

deigo- to prove he’s better than luther has it very strong (not black) and openly mocks anyone who puts sugar in their tea though will put excessive amounts in his own when he thinks no one is watching

alison- a good, strong cup of tea, i’m thinking maybe one sugar, two when she’s feeling sad, probably uses oat milk

klaus- no one ever taught klaus how to make tea so he just puts hot water from the tap into a mug and adds the milk before he puts the tea bag in. he would definitly microwave it if it got cold

i refuse to provide a photo for that

five- two options here, either completely black or milky and full of sugar. of course drinks black coffee more but when offered or in the afternoon when it’s too late for coffee

ben- like alison a good cup of tea though ben doen't take his with sugar, gotta look after them beautiful teefs. also he just uses normal cow’s milk. i’m thinking somewhere in this region

vanya - only ever herbal or friut teas, she has a cupboard in her appartment somewhere with at least 10 different types of tea at any one time, everytime she goes somewhere she makes a point of buying a new and interesting type of tea

[marvelsdc22]

Welcome To Wonderland

Intro: Hello, lovelies!! I hope you guys are having a good day/night!! This idea came up while I was listening to this song and wouldn’t go away till I wrote it!! Hope you guys enjoy!!

Note: Hades!reader x Persephone!Natasha. For the past three years, you and Natasha had not been on the best of terms, what else would you expect when you force someone to stay somewhere they don’t want to be? After a certain encounter, will Natasha see you in a new light?

Word Count: 1943

Being the god(dess) of the Underworld, you saw a lot of people enter, people who cry about ending up here, thinking that there was only one part to it, not the vast world that it really was, you saw people who killed others, people who lived calm and quiet lives, people who saved others, and it was up to you to decide where they all went, it was a stressful job really, but you had no choice in the matter.

Just like Natasha had no choice but to stay down here with you until spring time, she despised you, no matter how much you tried to make her comfortable and happy down here, this will be her third year being down here with you and she never went a day without reminding you how much she hated it here “Can spring come any faster?” She asked as she walked into your study, you sitting in your lounge chair and reading a book, you looking over and watching as she took a seat at your desk.

“I can’t make time go faster, Natasha” you said with a sigh, marking your book before closing it and sitting up, swinging your legs over the side and leaning forward against your legs, your white button-ups sleeves rolled up over your elbows, your blue vest holding your tie securely against your chest, your black pants clean and wrinkle free with a belt securing them over your hips, you black shoes shined to the point you could see your reflection in them, your hair falling from the ponytail you had it in, some only being kept back by your horns while the rest fell into your face.

Natasha glared at you and opened her mouth to say something when Steve walked in, him being in charge of the front gate “Y/N, we need you up front” he said, looking at you and you raised an eyebrow as you stood up, brushing the imaginary dust off your pants “I’ll be there shortly” you told him, watching as he nodded before heading out then looking at Natasha, who stood from her chair, brushing down her long red dress, you catching a glimpse of the red heels she was wearing and her red hair up in an elegant bun “You’re coming with?” You asked, a little shocked since she had never come up to the gate with you before “It’s better than being stuck here” she said sharply, heading out of the room and you sighed before you followed her.

The walk to the gate was tense and quiet, you glanced at Natasha who was walking beside you, her not even sparing a glance at you which hurt, sure you kind of forced her into this and you honestly felt bad for it, but you had fallen for her, despite her anger and you just wanted to make her feel welcome and happy, but it seemed all you got was anger and resentment from her “What’s the situation?” You asked, looking at Clint who helped Steve up front, patting Cerberus as you walked up and looking over where Clint was pointing.

Looking at what he was pointing to broke your heart “How old?” You asked, knowing the child couldn’t be older than six or seven “Five years old… Cancer” Clint said solemnly, looking at the child then you and you nodded, glancing at Natasha who looked sadly at the child before she looked at you, wondering what you would do “I’ll talk to him” you said, giving Clint a smile before squeezing Natasha’s arm which she allowed before going over to the small boy.

Welcome to Wonderland, we've got it all

Potions and pastries that make you grow tall

Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk

You kneeled down in front of the child and offer him a smile “Hey there” you said, watching as he looked at you, fear and confusion obvious in his expression as he clutched the small teddy bear in his arms, tears streaming down his face “My name’s Y/N, what’s yours?” You asked softly, feeling Natasha’s eyes on you as you listened to the boy “Jason… Where am I?” He asked softly, looking at you with wide, tearful eyes “Well Jason… You’re in wonderland” you said, knowing it was a lie but you couldn’t exactly tell a kid that they were in the Underworld.

The two of you talked for a moment, you asking him what all he enjoyed doing and what his bears name was when you realized he was staring at something over your shoulder, you turning and seeing his eyes set on Cerberus, which made you smile just a little bit more “Would you like to meet him? I promise he’s nice” you said, offering your arms out to the boy and waiting for him to get a secure grip around your neck before you stood up, holding him securely to you as you headed over to Cerberus.

Welcome to Wonderland, look where you're at

Maddest of hatters, the Cheshire Cat

Magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks

Dancing through a dream underneath the stars

Laughing 'til the morning comes

Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart

Oh, Wonderland I love

Once you got up to Cerberus, you watched as Jason reached up and all three heads bent down, wanting his attention “Easy, one at a time!” You laughed, watching as Jason grinned and squealed as the three heads fought for his attention, licking his hand as they traded off and you smiling as he had his fill of dog love “Shall I give you a tour?” You asked, looking at him and watching as he pouted “You can see Cerberus whenever you’d like” you promised, making a mental note to let Tony, who was in charge of Elysium, know that the young boy could go see Cerberus with Thor as his guide, knowing Thor would take good care of him.

“Come on, I think you’ll like this next place” you promised, turning and heading into the gate, Natasha watching as you passed her, smiling slightly at you since she had never seen this side of you, you had always been rude and mean or uncaring, but this side of you? This side of you she loved and she wanted to see this side of you more, following you closely as you headed for Elysium, stopping every so often to point out some big part of the world.

Stopping at the River of Styx, you gave Wanda a small wave, her being in charge of getting places where they needed to go on a boat “This lovely lady will be taking us to our final stop” you said, setting the boy down and laughing as he gripped your horns, letting him do so for a moment before you kneeled down in front of him “Would you like your own set?” You asked him, giving him a smile and laughing when he nodded his head enthusiastically before you pointed at his head, muttering something under your breath before a small pair of horns appeared on his head “There you go, now let's get on, shall we?” You asked, helping him first before you offered your hand to Natasha, her taking it as you helped her up into the boat with a small wink.

Welcome to Wonderland, I'll be your guide

Holding your hand under sapphire skies

Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk

Once you got to Elysium, you hopped out of the boat first before helping everyone else off, taking Jason’s hand as you led him up to the gates “And this is our last stop” you told him, watching as he stared at the place in awe before he felt you stop, causing him to turn around and look at you with a small pout “Hey, I’ll be back” you promised him, kneeling down in front of him “Tony here will take good care of you here” you said, gesturing to Tony who gave the kid a small smile and a wave.

“Promise you’ll come see me?” Jason asked and you smiled, reaching out and patting his head gently “Of course” you said, giving him a smile and then laughing some when he rushed forward and crushed you in a hug “I’ll see you soon, Jason” you promised, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a small squeeze before you released him, watching as he went over to Tony, who took his hand and led him through the gate, turning and looking at Natasha “We should head back” you said, walking with her back to the boat.

Welcome to Wonderland, where should we go

There's a tea party along down the road

Make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song

Dancing through a dream underneath the stars

Laughing 'til the morning comes

Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart

Oh, Wonderland I love

Once you guys got back to your palace, you headed for your study, hearing Natasha’s heels clicking on the floor behind you and turning to look at her after you got into the study “Did you need something?” You asked, looking at her and slipping your hands into your pockets, watching as she tried to form words “How often does that happen?” She finally asked, watching as you sighed and looked down at your feet “More often than I like” you said, looking back at her “Usually it’s not by this… Too many times has it been worse circumstances” you said, leaving that to her imagination since some were too terrible to talk about.

You watched as she shifted from foot to foot, waiting for her to say something and when she didn’t, you scoffed “Was there anything else you needed or-” you said, getting cut off when she rushed forward and kissed you, your hands staying in your pockets for a moment before you pulled them out, placing one hand on her waist while the other cupped the side of her face, green meeting Y/E/C when she pulled back to look at you “What you did-” “Was my job” you said, trying to just cover up the fact that she saw your soft side “No, it was more than that and you know it” she said, resting her hands on your biceps as she stared at you.

Nothing around here is quite as it seems

Not sure if anything's real or a dream

And the only thing sure from the start

Is the song that's inside of your heart

Don't let it leave

If this was a dream, then at least I've got

Memories for when morning comes

Now that I must leave with a heavy heart

Oh, Wonderland I love

A few hours later, the two of you rested under a thin sheet, the windows open even though there was nothing but heat out there, you both didn’t care, Natasha resting her head on your chest while you had one arm wrapped around her “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me” you said softly, your free arm covering your eyes and feeling her shift in your grip before you felt her tugging your arm gently away from your face, looking at you straight in the eye “No, you’re stuck with me” she said, looking at you and you couldn’t help but laugh before you gently grabbed her chin and kissed her “We’re stuck with each other then” you said between kisses, rolling her over onto her back, the two of you taking all the time you need to, you did have until next spring.

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[thestyleswritings]

Fix You

"We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

 "Well? I'd love to hear what I said that you're still thinking about months later and talkin’ to your therapist about, baby." The hand that lay stationery on her thigh squeezed a bit, encouraging her to talk to him.

 "You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

Or - The one where you have depression and Harry leads you in the right direction, and then some

(6.1K)

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Mention of Mental Health Issues, VERY brief mentions of suicide, Language, Possible Breeding Kink(??), Smut (at the end)

Masterlist

I wrote this in one night,,, shout out to mania.This isn’t even what I was working on. I don’t know if this is something that many people will want to read but it definitely brought a smile to my face to write. Do I need therapy? Probably. Will I ignore that and continue to escape my own mind through fiction? Absolutely. Reblog/Like if you enjoy!

  Harry knew she'd been struggling for a long time. It wasn't like her depressive periods lasted very long when they happened, maybe around a week or so, but when they hit, they hit her hard. He'd asked her when they first started dating, years ago, why she never invited him over and why she always went to his place, and at first she didn't want to tell him. It was embarrassing to her that she sometimes got into these periods where she didn't even want to lift her head from the pillow, let alone tidy up her flat.

  Harry eventually went over to her place once she felt comfortable enough to let him. She knew he wasn't going to judge her, and she knew all he wanted was to help her feel better. He stayed at her flat for hours the first time he came over, helping to fold the laundry she had done days before, dusting the bookshelf, clearing out the refrigerator. He'd joked they were a perfect match since he loved to clean up while listening to music they both loved; it relaxed his mind. His love language was acts of service anyway, which he constantly had to remind her of. He didn't mind doing anything and everything in his power in order to alleviate his lover's stress. She had sworn to Harry she'd try her best to keep the place in tiptop shape, but he didn't actually expect her to.

  He'd lost more than one friend to severe depression and he knew it was nothing to take lightly. Unfortunately, he also knew the signs to look for in suicidal people all too well. He could tell she had become moodier and spent a good bit of her day in bed either sleeping or just staring off into the void. She texted him that she was at home more and more, opting out of seeing her close friends for drinks or dinner. He hadn't seen her, either. It was all beginning to worry him deeply. He knew she'd have bad days, he'd signed up for that, but this was bigger than just a rough day. It had been going on for nearly two weeks and he knew he couldn't wait to address it any longer. He wanted to approach her tenderly. He was fearful that if he misspoke, she would shut down.

  That's how he ended up at her door one evening, unannounced. He brought along two sunflowers, one significantly taller than the other. He'd seen them at the florist's downstairs and they made him smile to himself. They were her favourite flower, and the posture of them reminded him of both of them. He hoped they would make her smile, too.

  He didn't bother ringing the bell, fishing out the spare key she had made up for him from his jeans pocket. When he stepped through the threshold, his heart sunk. There were empty cups on the coffee table, and he knew that meant she wasn't eating. If she were, there would've at least been a bowl or two. In that regard, her untidiness was helpful. He could assess the situation before even having to talk about it. 

  He sighed deeply as he gently places the sunflowers down on the kitchen island, walking over to clear the short table in front of the loveseat. He could practically feel the pain she was in and he hated.  He hated the fact that she had to be stuck with the short end of the stick. He walks the cups over to the sink, running the water over them for a moment before grabbing the sponge on the ledge of the sink to scrub them clean.

  As he washed the cups, he thought of what he could say to her that would actually prove to be helpful. It wasn't easy to always have the right words when the person hearing them didn't care if they lived or died. He knew if he told her outright how upset he was seeing her this way, it would only serve to make her feel worse that she couldn't help it. He didn't want to force or therapy on her, but he really wasn't left with many options. He wouldn't lose someone else to this. He couldn't live with himself, nor without her.

  He shuts off the tap and dries his hands on the cute yellow kitchen towel that was always draped on the cabinet next to the sink. With the flowers in hand, he cracks open her bedroom door. There are a few small piles of clothing around, t-shirts and sweatpants carelessly discarded based on the look of how everything was inside out.

  The sight of her breaks his heart. She was curled up tight beneath her fuzzy blanket that he knew she only pulled out when she was missing him and his snuggles, facing the wall while her arm hung limply over the stuffed dragon he'd gotten her ages ago. He could tell she hadn't gotten up all day, that much was evident. All the lights in the apartment had been off when he'd arrived and there was a stillness to the air. She hadn't even answered his messages sent hours earlier. He thought the worst for a moment, frozen in place with wide eyes trained on her unmoving body before hearing a soft snore coming from her, easing his breathing exponentially.

  He sits on the edge of her bed, placing the flowers with a shaky hand in a cup of water that had been sitting on her bedside table. He brings his hand up to the dip of her waist, gently rubbing up and down the length of her torso to soothe her awake.

   "Wake up, bug. S'me. Brought ya a little present." He coos at her once he heard her intake a large breath, reaching up to tuck her thick hair behind her ear. He could tell she hadn't washed it in a few days and made a mental note to encourage her to shower with him. She stirred under his touch, like she could tell it was him even when she was deep in slumber.

  "Harry?" She calls out quietly into the dark, feeling the warmth of his palm against her cheek. Had she been more awake and alert, she might've even been sheepish at her disheveled appearance. She already knew he saw all the empty cups on her table that had once been full of tea and coffee. She felt ashamed.

  "Yeah baby, it's me. Can you turn around and let me see that pretty face?" He croons, removing the hand that had been stroking her hair.

  She sighs deeply before turning over in her full sized bed, eyes focusing on the plush faux-down blanket beneath her. His hand slowly approaches her face again, this time grabbing hold of her chin softly to have her look at him. He smiles sadly at her. She knew that look. It's the same way her mother would look at her when she came into her room as a teenager. Pity, almost. It made her feel weak. 

  "Hello, my angel. Have you been in bed all day, lovie?" He dotes on her, running his thumb across her cheekbone. He knew the answer, he just wanted her to acknowledge it.

  "Mhm. What time is it?" Her voice is hoarse, as if she'd been crying the night before. The sound of it deflated Harry's heart in his chest.

  "S' a quarter til six, lovie. What time did you fall asleep?" He asks, leaving his hand on her face to cradle her soft cheek.

  "Dunno. Seven, eight? This morning sometime." She replies, sighing at her own erroneous sleeping schedule. Harry presses his lips together silently, taking in her words.

  "Alright. Well, I'm here now, so up you get." He requests softly. Softly enough where she doesn't find it demanding. He stands from her bed, holding a hand out to her.

  "Did I hear you say you brought me something?" She asks as she sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. He chuckles at her, knowing that a huge part of her mental illness caused her to crave buying material possessions, only for them to mean nothing to her the very next day. It was something she was truly trying to work on.

  "Yes baby, I did. S' on the bedside table." He informs her, waiting for her to turn and see them before he walks closer to her. She caresses the vibrant petals of the yellow flower, biting her lower lip between her teeth.

  "I... I love them, Harry. Thank you." He can hear the tightness in her throat and he worries that he should've just not gotten them at all for a moment before he sees the genuine smile across her lips.

  "I saw them and thought of you. Well, us, really. Don't they look like us?" He beams at her, and she sort of thinks she can see what he means. He looks like a sunflower when he smiles. He brings light and beauty into her life. Maybe that's why she found herself wanting to cry. Because she felt like she wasn't worthy of the human sunflower standing in her room.

  "Yeah. They do look like us." She offers a smile, smaller this time now that she's thought about it. She wraps her arms around his middle, allowing the overwhelming feeling of warmth and comfort to consume her for a moment before pulling away.

  "I should probably go clean off the coffee table, huh?" She says humorlessly, walking the way of the door before his voice stops her.

  "I did it for you, baby. Why don't you come with me to have a nice warm shower? I want to talk to you about some things while we're in there anyway."  Panic strikes her still; what did he want to talk about? Was he finally fed up? Did he find someone else, someone who could take care of themselves properly? Was that why he was being especially sweet on her? She felt like she could throw up. She didn't know how to do this without him anymore, and that alone scared her. It wasn't to say she didn't adore him for all that he does for her, she just wished he didn't feel like he had to. She wished she could get her mind well enough to care to do even the simplest tasks.

  She nods her head and thanks him quietly for straightening up before walking into her bathroom and stripping down to nothing. She reaches into the shower to turn on the water and waits for it to get warm, as well as Harry. She didn't like the sound of wanting to talk, even if he hadn't necessarily said it in a menacing way. When he joins her, he follows her lead by taking everything he wore off. He didn't want to look at her body for too long and become distracted like he often did when he saw her, especially when he really saw her. She had soft features and her body was always so pliant in his hands. Though, he couldn't allow his mind to wander right now.

  He gets in first, testing the water and making sure it was around the temperature they both liked before reaching for her hand and pulling her in gently. She expected him to keep some distance, so when he wrapped his arms around her from behind as they stood under the steady stream of water, she was a bit taken back. Was he being overly affectionate as a way to say goodbye? He places a few kisses to her shoulder before peeling himself away and grabbing her peach shampoo off the built-in shelf. She leans her head back to make sure her hair is all wet before allowing him to lather her hair with the sweet smelling soap for her. She always loved how he massaged her scalp with it.

  "So, I know you might think I wanted to talk about something bad, but I promise it's nothing bad. I just want you to know that before you start making scenarios up in your mind." He speaks softly, matching the pressure of his fingertips in her hair. He sees her shoulders sag and he feels awful. She'd already started thinking of potential issues he may have wanted to talk about. He carries on by rinsing the shampoo out and repeating, creating a much foamier lather the second time around. He rinses it out for her by guiding her beneath the waterfall, following up with the peach conditioner.

  "What do you want to talk about?" She whispers, enjoying the feeling of Harry's hands moving lower with her wash rag, scrubbing her limbs delicately as to not harm her skin.

  "Well... you. You know how much I love you, yeah? Can't fuckin' live without you, you know? Hurts me when we're apart for too long, or when we have to sleep alone. I, um... I just want you to be happy," he sighs. He prattled on a bit; his thoughts were jumbled and he didn't know how else to tell her this.

 "I want to be able to know you're okay when I'm not with you, even if I want to be with you always. I know you're going through a rough spot right now, and I want you to have help. More help than just me," he's as gentle as he can be, and she appreciates it. It doesn't mean she wants to cry any less, of course, but she knows he has the purest intentions.  

  He wants her to thrive, not just survive. He knew he could only do so much for her before she had to start doing things for herself. He loved to baby her and take care of her, but not when he had to. He wanted to help her shower sometimes and feed her because he wanted to, not because she wouldn't do it herself if he didn't.

 "Are you saying you want me to find a therapist?" She asks softly. She's not opposed to the idea, she just never found the strength to actually care enough about her own mental well-being to make an appointment. 

  "Are you okay with that? Would you be open to it if I helped you find someone to talk to? And maybe try medication? I know it's a lot at first, but it helps so many people. Just can't keep seeing you so sad. Hurts my soul, since we share the same one." He turns her around now to look at her property while they spoke. He could see the furrow in her brow, like someone was pinching them together with their fingers. 

 He saw the tears welling up in her eyes and his heart nearly explodes at the pout forming on her face. This isn't what he wanted to happen. He didn't want to make her cry. Her chin trembles as she tries her hardest to look anywhere but at his face.

  "Oh, baby," he coos, wrapping her up in his arms once more, "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry, m'love," he kisses the top of her head, peppering them all around wherever he could reach. "M' just worried, baby. When I came in earlier it looked like you- I just, I can't imagine what I would do if-" he's slightly panicked now, she can feel his heart picking up it's pace. She didn't know that was something he worried about with her and it made her whole body ache.

  "You didn't. It wasn't that. I would really appreciate if you could help me find someone to help me further. I'm crying because I'm hurting you when I don't deserve you in the first place," she sniffles, pressing her face further into the slippery skin of his neck. "You deserve someone who's whole, someone who you don’t have to worry about."

  "Hey," he pulls back from her, holding both her shoulders so he can look her in the eyes, "I love you. So much that I'd die without you at this point. Just told you that. Please don't put thoughts and words into my mouth. I mean everything I say to you, don't let your brain fool you into thinking it's not true. When I tell you I love you, please know I mean that with everything I have and everything I am. I'm not whole without you. I worry because I love you so much that it would kill me to lose you," His voice is soft yet firm all at once, conviction filling his tone.

  "Promise?" She asks weakly, knowing what he's telling her is the truth. Her brain tended to sabotage her.

  "I promise." He kisses her lips, backing her underneath the water once more to rinse her off before reaching behind her to shut off the water. He steps out before her, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around her short body.

 "I'm going to make something for us to eat, angel. Come sit with me at the counter so I don't get lonely?" He asks once they're both dressed. He wore her sweatpants and t-shirt while she wore his Christmas themed pyjama pants with his Spice World hoodie.

 "You want me to?" She can't help but wonder why he wants her to be around him so much. She knew he loved her and they'd been dating for almost four years, but she found herself to be a buzzkill. She just exuded sadness, she thought. Harry scoffs at her playfully, rolling his eyes. He knew she couldn't help but doubt herself, but he still found it absurd. Of course he'd want to be around her all of the time. She was so accepting and loving, even if she didn't think so. She was good.

"Obviously, angel. Always want you within two feet of me. As a matter of fact, I wish you were pocket-sized so I could bring you everywhere with me until you got sick of seeing my big dumb head." He smirks at her, making her genuinely laugh. She hadn't done that in a while.

 "You're such a dramatic nutter." She laughs, pushing him away from her so she could walk into the kitchen to find a stool to occupy.

 "Me!? Were you not the one that cried because you couldn't stop thinking about The Hunger Games?" He comes in behind her, smacking her ass playfully in retaliation of her push before quickly walking at least an arms distance away from her.

"That's literally not fair? Finnick deserved so much better than that. You cried when we watched it together too, fucker!" She explains even more dramatically than he had been in the first place, as if he hadn't been there too. He chuckles as he opens her refrigerator, kissing his teeth when he finds nothing defrosted to cook. All she really had was oat milk, a bottle of homemade cold brew and a few cups of yoghurt.

"Fair enough. I'm going to take this chicken down so we can make it tomorrow, but since there's nothing else, do you wanna do Japanese?" Kicking the door closed as he walks closer to her with two water bottles in hand.

"You know I can never say no to Japanese. I'll order it," she offers, but he's already shaking his head with his phone in hand.

"It's on me. We're eating food you bought tomorrow, s'only fair. I wanna know what else you could never say no to? Like maybe... moving in with me?" He says without looking up as he places the order, already having her favourite meal saved on his phone, along with his own.

 At first, she doesn't react. She doesn't move a single muscle, not even her eyes. He doesn't take her stunned silence personally, waiting for her to process what he'd just offered. He can practically see the cogs turning when he looked at her.

"You want me... to live with you... in your big beautiful mansion of a house..." She says slowly, turning her gaze to his own. He exhales a laugh at the flabbergasted expression on her face.

"Yes, baby. Told you I'd bring you everywhere with me, and we've been together almost 4 years, known each other 6. I don't know about you but I'm ready to wake up to your face every day." He smirks once more, reaching out to tucker her hair behind her ear like he always did. He just wanted to see more of her pretty face.

"You- I... Harry. You know what? Yeah. I will." She had began to refuse before catching herself. This was a normal next step in a long term relationship. She wouldn't sabotage this. She was a better version of herself when she was with him, and they made each other happy. 

"Yeah? You will? I'm so happy baby, thank you. I'm tired of waking up alone and missing you every day. It's dumb." He tackles her in a hug, attacking her with a million kisses. He doesn't bother holding back the few happy tears he sheds, he doesn't care and he knows she doesn't either.

—

  He had proposed to her the day she moved in, after she unpacked her last bedroom item and found a place for it. It was the silly green dragon, who now lived between two puffy pillows on their shared bed. He'd had the ring burning a hole in his dresser for over a year and he couldn't stand it anymore once he saw how at home she'd made herself. That, and he wanted to make love to her while she wore the sparkling diamond.

Something about the visual prompted him to drop to his knee behind her instantly.

  It had been a year since she moved into Harry's “big beautiful mansion of a house”, and they were happier than ever. She was seeing a therapist that she enjoyed, someone whom she felt comfortable with. She had also begun taking medication. The first few prescriptions weren't right, but Harry encouraged her to keep trying different things and held her hand along the way. She finally found the one that matched her chemistry, and it worked a treat. She could focus on things better, and she had the energy to do so many things that she would even go on the occasional run with Harry. It was amazing for him to see her in such high spirits. It was like the her that only he could see was finally free, brightening up the world around her. More importantly, she could finally see herself that way, too.

A few months after she said yes, he had said something to her that she couldn't shake.

"Wanna make babies with you."

  He'd said it to her in passing, staring at her with hearts in his eyes as she sat on the grass in the garden. The sun was hitting her skin so beautifully and she just looked so radiant. He couldn't help it. It had just slipped out.

  She brushed it off at the time, but now it was all she could think about. She had even told her therapist about it. While the older woman seemed excited for her, she still asked if that was something she'd want. If she'd even thought about it.

  And truthfully, she had thought about it before. A lot. She's thought about Harry rubbing her tummy, kissing it and singing. She's thought about them falling asleep together when the baby is finally born. She's thought about how much of a daddy's girl they'd have, if it turned out to be a girl. She's thought about how if he babies her this much, she would love to see how much he'd baby their real baby. She's thought about how much she and Harry would love their shared creation. She’s thought about how much more love it could bring into their lives.

  She'd arrived home from a session one day after work to find Harry peacefully reading on the couch in the soft yellow light of their living room. She took a moment to admire him from this perspective before making her presence known. Jingling her keys a bit harder than usual, making his head turn in time to watch as she hangs them up before shedding her coat and walking over to the back of the couch.

 "Hello, my love." She coos, rubbing her flat palms against his chest. She kisses the side of his face a few times and he grabs hold of her hands, clutching her closer and enjoying her warmth.

 "Hi, lover. How was today? Work was alright?" He lets her hands go with a kiss so he can dog-ear's his page before shutting his book, giving her his undivided attention. She rounds the couch and decides to sit on his lap, looping her arms around his neck. His hands automatically shift to hold her waist.

"Work was the same. People are obnoxious and rude. What can I do? Session went well too. Talked about something I've been thinking about a lot." She looks down at him, tracing her finger subconsciously against the silver chain he never took off. She can't help but smile at how pretty her lover is, making him reflect the same expression.

 "Want me to go down there and give them a talking to? You know I'd do it." He glares playfully, furrowing his brows and puffing his chest. She laughs softly at his silly demeanour. It's one of the things she loves the most about him.

 "Shut up. Annoying," She laughs, hiding her face in his neck. He laughs with her, dropping a hand to one of her thighs to smack it lightly for her comment, ultimately choosing to leaving it resting there.

"That's you. Anyway, what did you talk about? Is there something bothering you?" He asks, ignoring the way her brow raises at him for calling her the annoying one. They had such a lighthearted relationship. It filled them both with joy.

 "We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

 "Well? I'd love to hear what I said that you're still thinking about months later and talkin’ to your therapist about, baby." The hand that lay stationery on her thigh squeezed a bit, encouraging her to talk to him.

 "You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

 "You've been thinking about it this whole time and didn't say anything?" He questions softly, looking up at her with loving eyes. She nods her head, looking off to the side to gather her thoughts.

"Yeah. I... I really want that, Harry. I already promised to love you forever when I said yes, and you make me so much better. I can't imagine how amazing you'll be as a father. I, um, I also stopped taking my birth control a few days ago." She spoke with confidence. She knew this was what she wanted, and she could tell he did too. There was something in the way she spoke about it that made him stand with her in his arms.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to put a baby in you?" He speaks boldly, almost matter of fact. He wasn't asking, he was confirming. She says nothing, choosing instead to nod furiously.

 He beams at her, bringing her all the way to their bedroom before sitting her delicately on the bed. She rolled her eyes at that; it's not like she was already pregnant. He catches the look and reaches to her shoulder to shove her on the bed with an eye roll of his own.

"Better?" He mocks, grinning from ear to ear at her shocked expression. He takes his shirt, that was actually her shirt, off along with his joggers before clambering on top of her.

"You're such a knobhead." She laughs, taking off her own shirt. She didn't feel like waiting.

"A knobhead that you want to come in you. A knobhead that you want to father your children!" He exclaims jokingly. She can't help the grin on her face, pulling his chin until their lips met. Her grin evaporates when she feels him practically rip her skirt off, alongside her flimsy thong. She gasps at the feeling of his fingers on her, rubbing over her slit ever so gently. Feeling how wet she was for him.

"Were you thinking about this on your way home? You're fucking drenched." His voice had lost all sense of humour, acquiring a certain gravel to it that only served to make her wetter. She only nods, kissing his lips in a pleading sort of way.

"You want my baby this bad, huh? Want me to make you a mummy? Want to make me a daddy? S' that it, angel?" She couldn't take it anymore. The sound of his voice was driving her insane and she had checked if she was ovulating this morning and found out she was. It was like her body was demanding for him.

  "Yes! Yes, lover. Please? Want it so bad," Harry felt his heart warm at the tone of her voice. He knew they called each other lover in bed when they were feeling too romantic, too lost to the moment. In a good way. She was truly desperate to try for a little person with him. Quickly, he rolls them over so she's sat atop him once more. He kisses her immediately, bringing his hand down to dip his fingers into her now sopping wet hole.

  She choked on a gasp as she felt him slide two in, curling them at the joint to apply pressure exactly where he knew she needed it. He took advantage of her head falling back, attacking her neck with tender love bites and kisses. His other hand roamed around her stomach and back for a bit before reaching for her chest, tweaking her nipple between two slender fingers. Her jaw dropped when she felt his thumb land on her clit, circling hard and fast.

  "God, Harry! Fuck," she could hardly breathe at the efforts her lover was putting in. "Yes! Yes," her praise was quiet, but it fuelled him regardless.

  He was always an attentive lover, but something about his actions were nearly feral. Like he couldn't get enough, no matter how much she gave him. He would always want more of her. More sound, more taste, more feeling. He wanted her to always evade and overwhelm his senses. He moans at her noises, along with the feeling of her clenching around his fingers.

  "C'mon, lover. Come so I can put our baby in ya," he breathes against her neck, licking any patches of skin he can reach. Her eyes roll back at his words, crying out for both him and God.

"Tha's it, lover. Good girl," he whispers huskily, slowing the movement of his fingers and moving the other hand to hold her body even more tightly against his. When he can feel her body shuddering, he pulls his fingers from her and sticks them in his mouth, sucking them clean in a filthy way.

  "Please put our baby in me," she requests in a small voice with a smile, tears streaking down her cheeks. She was so overwhelmed by him and by the prospect of what they were doing that she started crying happy tears. His smile is worth everything to her in that moment, pulling his face up for a kiss.

  "Yeah, lover. I'll do that," his voice is tender, like his touch. He kisses her as he lays her body beneath him again, stopping for a moment to take in her form. Her body was so gentle and relaxed after he'd made her feel good, and he couldn't help but kiss her tummy. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her hair was starting to frizz, but she'd never looked better.

  This wasn't by any means the first time they'd had sex without a condom but it was, however, the first time they'd done it without her taking birth control.

The rational part of their minds knew it wouldn't physically feel any better, but they couldn't help the buzz around them at the thought.

   He kisses her neck lightly as he grasps himself, tugging a few times to make sure he was nice and hard for her. He knew he was already rock solid, but he wanted to be extra sure. This was important. When he pushes into her, his eyes roll to the back of his head. She grits her teeth at the feeling of being so full of her lover, digging her nails into his side.

  He pushes the rest of the way in, taking a pause there for a moment. He could tell he was pressed against her in a delicious way from the look on her face. His hips started to create a rhythm they could both enjoy; deep and hard, slow and passionate. They were making love, after all.

  "G'na be the best mum, fuck, I know it," he pants into her ear, leaning his body further into hers. She whines into his hair, lifting her hips off the bed to get closer to him, even if it wasn't possible.

  "You're- oh my god, fuck! You're gonna be the best dad, you already take, oh shit, take such good care of me. Such a good lover,” she can tell her voice sounds fucked out, but hell if she gave a fuck. He squeezes her hand in response, kissing her neck again. He felt himself get hotter at her words. The way their bodies collided could be heard in the thick air around them, filling their ears with beautiful music.

She could hear it in the way he moaned in her ear that he was so close. She was, too, just at the thought of him filling her up with possibly more than just nut. They could get a baby out of this. Her eyes roll back as she practically howled in pleasure.

“Please come, please I wanna feel it,” she begged as she lost her mind, repeating her chant.

“Oh my fuck, yeah, baby. Finish for me first, lover. Good fucking girl,” he praises her, kissing along her collarbones as he fucked her through her orgasm. He was so close he could practically taste it, but he had to say something first.

“I love you, angel. I’m gonna love you forever.” His words are broken up between moans in her ear, making her cry out with him. She was so sensitive that when he let go and shot into her, she came again.

  He could barely move once he was spent, dropping his weight to his elbows and laying on top of her chest, which was moving rapidly along with his own.

  He kisses the skin beneath him as she plays with his hair, both too dazed to say anything.

She’s the first to break their silence when she tells him she loves him too.

“‘M bloody glad you love me too, or else it would be pretty awkward for us to have a baby together.” He mutters sarcastically, not even having the energy to lift his head. It was like she sucked out his soul and he needed 2 to 5 business days to get back to being functional. She’d have to call Jeff and let him know the bad news.

“You’re a dork. But, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to do this with. You helped me through the worst days and showed me what I could be. I owe you everything.” She cards her fingers through his hair, speaking softly.

“I resent that, firstly. But I’m proud I get to be this person for you. You’re everything to me, so you don’t owe me a thing. I’m just happy that you’re getting help for yourself. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I’m proud of you. Extremely fucking proud.” He had turned his head to where his chin was poking at her tummy so he could look at her face.

“I’m happy I took your advice. Outsourcing help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. It shows that you can pull yourself up and realise you have a problem, you know?” She tries to explain it, but he knows. He’d been telling her all along. He even went to therapy.

“Yeah, baby. I’m happy you’re here with me.” He says, and she knows he meant here, alive, not just here with him at that moment. She holds onto him a little bit tighter.

“I’ll always be here. I need you too much to go anywhere”

~

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[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter 17: I Love You)

← Chapter Sixteen 

Warning: NSFW CONTEND AHEAD. MINORS DNI!

For my protection. That was his reason. The government had started following the Scouts extensively after the mission to reclaim Wall Maria. Soon after, they were only following Levi around, trying to find any way to purge him out of the government. He didn’t want me to get caught up in his mess, and he knew I would fight for him if I did, so he thought the only way was to leave me. He thought the only way was to hurt me so I wouldn’t come back because that’s how it used to work for him. Break their hearts and they’ll leave you alone. He also showed me a letter Jonas had written him a few weeks after their return. That coupled with the journal he read over and over was the tipping point for him. It would be better if I wasn’t around him, but he knew that the only way to make it possible for both of us was to build a barrier that we didn’t dare cross. 

Levi, 

She’s suffering because of you. Every day, I see her smile fade, looking out at the table you used to sit at. She cries at night when she thinks I don’t hear. She cried the other day, drunk on wine, thinking about what she had done wrong to make you act this way towards her. You need to let her go. If you aren’t going to come anymore, make it clear so she doesn’t have sickening hope to keep her going. She won’t keep going. She’s fallen in love with someone like you before, and even then she almost killed herself before she was let go. Let her go now. It’s the safest way. I’ll care for her. I’ll convince her. I’ll make her happy where you couldn’t. Just leave her to me and let her go. 

Jonas 

Yet, even with these excuses, the letter, and the journal, he apologized over and over again. Sometimes on his knees in front of me. Sometimes without words. At night, he would hold me now, having read about how many sleepless I had without him; lonely nights he caused. It seemed that two things had changed as a result of our “hiatus”. One, being Levi recognizing what was love and affection, and how he, indeed, needed it to survive now. He wasn’t afraid anymore, and behind closed doors was bold. He even stopped asking to do something, his timid self leaving and replaced with a more confident lover. Second, after the court hearing, he truly realized that I could take care of myself. Right there and then, facing death with one slip up, I was able to save him as well as the Scouts' reputation. It was this one strong act of loyalty that was enough to tip him over the edge. Levi was now completely mine. This was evident. There was to be no tip-toeing. There was no time to tip-toe anymore. We were to love and love vividly as neither of us had ever before. 

Still, my emotions were left untouched. While he was busy begging for forgiveness, the feelings I had in that year-and-a-half of isolation were pushed back in my mind. I didn’t want to ruin the time we had with what I deemed to be trivial. I didn’t want to remind him once again of the loneliness and desperation he left me with. The self-doubt. The self hated. All of these things. I left it for another day. Another time. And soon enough, it would eat away at me. In the near future, he would do it again. That was my resolve. He would do it again, leaving me alone with only my thoughts and a shirt of his, and these feelings would creep up inside of me.

I decided to wait until that happened. If it happened again, I would tell him what I was feeling. I wouldn’t let his apologizes and touches and kisses silence my wavering feelings of abandonment. I would tell myself that over and over again. I would tell him, yes. I would. I have to… but then his smile, vibrant and whole, would make me forget. Momentarily. His devotion. His touch. Love would come in place of abandonment. 

Sometimes it would scare me. I would wake in the middle of the night in his arms, his eyes staring down at me as he had yet to fall asleep, and I would feel this overwhelming sensation. I’d never felt this before. Not with any other man I’d been with. I thought I knew what love was until Levi and I started again. This was love. This was devotion. Willing to sacrifice ourselves for the other. The court case had made that clear. Still, it was scary to be this for another person. Those nights, I would tear up, remembering the lonely months previous, and he would brush my hair out of my face, holding me to his chest and humming me to sleep. How long until I lose him again? Was this overwhelming feeling in my chest only because I knew he would leave soon? Levi would never be permanently by my side. How can I keep loving someone like him this much without hurting myself? 

Levi was scared too, but for a different reason. He was scared of death. This was the demon that would always chase him. At night, when he found sleep, he would still jerk awake, sometimes sweat covered and tears falling down his cheeks. I would rub his back and sometimes get out of bed with him to talk it over a cup of peppermint tea. There was no hiding what he saw when his eyes were closed anymore. He would see me die. Isabel and Furlan. Erwin. Hange. His cadets. I realized during those nights how broken he truly was. How scared he was to love because of death, just as I was of abandonment. I’d reassure him over and over, rain hitting the windowpane above, but still, he would have this doubt in the back of his mind. Life made this doubt, and nothing was going to move it. I’d just reassure him enough to coax him back into bed and hopefully catch the last bits of sleep. 

Like Erwin had promised, Levi was given the month off. Which quickly turned into two at Levi’s harsh request and a nice letter I wrote to Erwin, attached to a box of freshly made cookies. How did Erwin expect for us to catch up in a month? The first month was for loving. The second was when we would actually talk over things. This was what I had determined. Erwin had sent back the empty box with only one note: Don’t get pregnant. I rolled my eyes at that and threw it into the trash.

“What did he say?” Levi gestured to the paper I’d thrown in the trash and I just shook my head. 

“Nothing important. Just a joke.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me in front of him as he sat down in a wooden chair. His hand let go of mine, moving it to touch my waist lightly. It was night time and the café had been vacant of people for a few hours. It was time to start preparing dough and fruit for the small batch of pastries and bread tomorrow. People were slowly starting to feel the effects of famine. Their stomachs and their wallets. Sadly, the only thing that seemed to keep me going was the reward Erwin had promised. With his money in my pouch, I went about the capital market with Hange, buying supplies I needed. They filled up the cart we had brought with us, but even now, only a month later, they were almost all gone. Reeve’s was suspending orders left and right, and soon they would start firing their workers. I was also getting to a desperate point as well. If people stopped coming into the café, remembering the hours I’d sat in the empty room this past month, I would close down and use the profit money for my own survival.

“What are you thinking about?” I looked down at him again, noticing how the tiny sliver of moonlight through an open crack illuminated his eyes to an almost silver color.

“The future.”

“That’s why I don’t do that,” he quipped back, dropping his hand to lean back in the chair, the front legs lifting up off the floor I’d just cleaned. I frowned and rolled my eyes at him, walking away to check on the rising dough. 

“Yes, we know.” He followed behind, rolling up his sleeves so he could help me. This time, there wasn’t enough dough to divide between the two of us, so he ended up cleaning the two tea cups we were drinking out of. 

“Why think of a future when you’re never guaranteed one?” I slammed the dough on the table, starting to take out my annoyance on it instead of him. 

“Ah, yes, because you’re one to live in the moment, Levi.” He just chuckled and ended up leaning on the sink edge, looking out at the single window that was opened. The moonlight was still reflected in his eyes. 

“You’re from the Underground. You should know why thinking about a future is dangerous.” 

“We aren’t in the Underground anymore, Captain Levi.” He frowned and I moved on to portion the dough.

“Stop saying my name like that,” he groaned out, turning his head to the side and looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He was more accustomed to his nickname now. Just Lev. When I said his full name or title, he knew I was mad or annoyed at him or something. 

“Thinking about the future gives me hope,” I used a knife to cut out four pieces of dough,  “It makes you want to live.” He held up his hands. 

“No one said I didn’t want to live.” I cut the next piece of dough rather harshly, making the knife slam against the cutting board.

“You’re content with dying.” 

“I’ve made peace with the idea, yes.” I grasped a small piece of dough that I’d just cut when hearing those words. Now I was angry. There was no drive in his voice. Made peace with dying? That just wasn’t acceptable. I threw the piece of dough at him and he just stood there, taking my assault. 

“Think about a future and then maybe you won’t be so content with dying, Levi.” He wiped off the leftover flour from his shirt, his expression unchanging. 

“Then what is your future? If you’re so adamant about it.” His voice had a hint of annoyance in it, trying to hold back from yelling at me for ruining his fresh shirt. This made me freeze up a bit. My mind went straight to one thing. One thing I know Levi has personally said wouldn’t happen. One thing I know that Levi could care less about. One thing he didn’t want. Therefore, I shook my head. 

“None of your business.” He turned to face my body, keeping one hand on the counter and the other on his hip. 

“You can’t just lecture me about this and then refuse to tell me.” This is when I realized the weight of his words before. Why would you think of a future when you know it won’t happen? I knew this future wouldn’t happen, and here I was mourning it. Fuck. He got me, and he knew he did. 

“No, I don’t have to tell you. It’s my future.”

“But I’m in it, aren’t I?” I dropped my hands, taking a deep breath in, “That’s why you’re so upset right now.”  I hung my head this time. Not wanting to feel tears welling in the corner of my eyes. I haven’t felt them for a month now, and they were starting to feel unwelcomed. How dare I feel sad at a time like this? I can’t feel sad when time is fleeting. 

“You’re in a lot of people's futures, Levi. Not just mine.” It was low, and he could tell by how my voice trembled that I was about to cry, but he wanted me to face his harsh reality. He wanted me to know the reality of the world. I couldn’t be optimistic about the future. No one in our world could be. I would just be disappointed. At least that’s what I thought. 

“Tell me then. What’s in our future?” I shook my head again, this time turning away from him and using one hand to wipe away the stray tears. 

“Tell me.” I kept my hand hovering over my mouth, hoping that if I started crying loudly, I’d be able to muffle them with it. 

“There are no titans. You and I, we run this cafe. We’re married and there are two little kids running around, knocking over empty chairs while people come in and out, smiling down at them. A boy and girl. The boy has black hair, the girl brown. Both have silver-grey eyes. You yell at the children, telling them to stop playing around. They apologize, looking up at you with your matching eyes, then back at me, waiting for me to soften your annoyance at them; releasing them to run around again as you groan because of my acceptance of their rowdiness… but then you look at the two of them and smile softly before being swept up in an order.” There was silence again, but this time it was dense. I had to put my hand over my mouth, muffling whatever whines were coming out of it. His silence was telling. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want it. I was the only one dreaming of these things at night, falling asleep in his arms. 

A hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing once, before drawing me into him from behind, completely enveloped with his chin resting on top of my head. He still didn’t say anything. He just tried to comfort me while I was mourning something I knew wouldn’t happen. He didn’t have to tell me. I knew. I knew. 

“I’ll try my best to give you what you want, but some of it is unattainable, Eva.” 

“What is?” He felt him swallow hard and his arms tightened around me. He wanted me to know that he was still here, even if the future he wasn’t going to be. He wasn’t going to try to promise me anything he couldn’t keep. 

“I’ll try my best.” That was his way of saying that none of it was going to happen. Sometime during my cries, he turned me around to settle into his chest. At this point, I wasn’t mad at him. I was just sad. Sad because I wouldn’t get to have what I wanted. Not with him. Jonas was right. At some point, I would have to sacrifice if I wanted to be with Levi. Erwin had told me that too. I just didn’t know at that point, almost three years ago, what the sacrifice was going to be. My sanity. My emotional clarity. A husband. Children. I was just going to be the woman who owns a cafe. I even have to sacrifice the public’s knowledge of my own relationship. I’d sacrifice it for someone who wasn’t at my side for most of the year. 

That was the scary part. The one that I’d think of over and over again at night. The scariest part was that deep down inside, I was ready to sacrifice it all for him. I loved him. Yet, he’d never said it back to me. Did Levi feel guilty for not being able to give me what I wanted or was this a struggle I’d have to get through alone? And I’d get through it alone… for him. 

That night, his grasp was a little tighter than before. He was still trying to make up for earlier. He was trying to show me what his feelings were, but he couldn’t say them out loud. That would be the nail in his coffin. That’s what still made me doubt. I’d look him in the eyes and just chant over and over tell me you love me. If he just said those three words, then I think everything would be all right. He’ll try his best. What did that mean? What was his best? At his best, was he still not able to say he loved me? 

The next few days, he would be closer to me when he could. He would hold me tighter when he could. He was trying to tell me that he was here in the present. He wasn’t going to leave right now. He was trying to compensate for the future he was convinced he couldn’t give me. He couldn’t give me kids and he couldn’t make me his wife, but he could try his best. Those words were a sting to my heart every time I heard it. His best would be leaving me at the end of every upcoming month to go out and try to kill titans while trying to not get killed himself. 

The next week, when he showed up from his weekly visit to the Scout HQ, rose balm in hand, everything in the past week seemed to be forgotten. The future, along with the emotions I had yet to tell him about, sat in the back of my mind. He bandaged my hands for me, applying the balm in a meticulous fashion, hoping that this time he would be able to get a big supply of it before he went on his expedition. 

“Erwin had gone to the capital a few days ago and Premier Zachary asked about you,” he informed me as he started with my right hand. I pulled a disgusted face and this made him glow with some semblance of happiness. 

“What did he say?” 

“According to Erwin’s short summary, he wanted to know more about you currently. Where you live, what you do. Things like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sent someone here to find you out.” I could hear the anger rise in his voice as he applied the balm. 

“Is that why you haven’t been coming downstairs recently? In case they see you.” He nodded. 

“It would get both of us in trouble if they started to suspect something. I don’t care at this point, however. Even if they saw us randomly meet each other in the marketplace, they would report it as a relationship. While the people who wanted to persecute me would see it as more evidence, the rat-bearded bastard Zachary is only interested in finding about more about his prey.” I swallowed at the word prey and Levi noticed that he didn’t tone down his wording like normal. Around me, he tried to be more gentle with his words, substituting curses for other things, but other times it slipped out. According to Hange, Levi had quite a vocabulary and he wasn’t afraid to yell at the cadets with it. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just sa-” 

“I know, Lev. I just have to be smart and reject any advances in a way that doesn’t make him upset. He is your highest up boss anyways.” He slipped back into a smile and nodded at my words. 

“So smart,” he mumbled and his praise made my stomach fill with a few butterflies. Levi doesn’t praise anyone. I found that out by being stuck in the Scout HQ for a day. I assisted Hange and snuck around out of sight, but I was still able to observe the way he trained with the cadets. Once when a cadet performed a near perfect maneuver, cutting through three titan dummies at a high-speed pace, all Levi could say to her was “If you were going so fast, why didn’t you get a fourth one?” I guess he only had a little bit of praise in his body and it was all reserved for me. 

“The Garrison members stopped playing cards last week, so I guess we can take that as notice the news of the trial has spread to Trost.” He tucked the very end of the wrap underneath another, taking a piece of medical tape and securing it tight. I told him that since today was my day off, he didn’t need to wrap my hands, but he acted like it was another one of his duties. Everyday before I start work, he would sit me down, sometimes in a sleepy silence, and wrap my hands. Other times, he would pull me upstairs after lunch rush to take the dirty wraps off and replace them, asking about work or some random thing he thought about while doing leftover paperwork in the office upstairs. While Erwin gave him the month off physically, he still had mountains of paperwork that he brought back from his weekly meetings. Times like right now, he would use wrapping my hands as a distraction from the mountain of papers growing. The two weeks leading up to the expedition were going to be the busiest, so much so that he couldn’t go to bed the same time as me and I’d wait up for him, reading a book. Most of the time, though, he would have to wake me up and move from his spot on the bed since I was sprawled over the whole thing. 

“I’ve finally got the paperwork for it, so I’d assume so. I had to literally confirm every scar that you and Hange wrote down, so thanks for that.” He turned back to the desk and I leaned forward to look at the paper, an empty diagram of a body drawn on it. 

“I can help you if you want.” He raised an eyebrow, looking out of the corner of his eye. 

“Is this just another excuse to get me undressed?” I gave him the same type of look. 

“Hypothetically, if it was, would it work?” He gave me one smirk before shedding off his shirt. Even if I’d seen this many, many times in the past two months, it never lost its effect. Levi’s clothes hide years of fighting, ODM usage, and overall hard labor and work. Of course he was going to have every possible muscle defined. His shoulders were my favorite. Broad. Easy to rest my head on.

“Here,” he handed me the paper and a pen freshly dipped in ink, “starts drawing and labeling. Don’t miss one or we’re fucked.” I started with the scar near his collarbone. 

“I don’t know. Prison can’t be that bad. You could beat all of them up and become king.” He rolled his eyes, sitting back on the chair so I could get a full view. 

“I think the last place I want to be is in a military prison. They’ll just lock me up in a single cell for the rest of my life. I’d break out though. Shitty guards.” 

“A fugitive then. I’d hide you.” He smirked and huffed once in laughter. 

“If we mess this paper up, we’re both going to become political fugitives. Where should we escape to?” I turned his head so I could get the side of a small scar under his jawline. 

“A cabin somewhere. Maybe by Utopia District. No one likes to go all the way up there… I hate to ask you this, but do you think they want me to write down all of your scars?” He raised his eyebrow in confusion and I turned the paper to him, pen pointing to the legs. 

“Oh, uh. Just to be safe?” He stood up, looking down at me, and took his pants off in one swift movement, folding them to put on top of the desk. Now, he was just sitting down in a pair of linen shorts. He pushed them up too, pointing out some scars on his inner thighs. 

“How did you get these? I don’t see you wear shorts.” I poked a scar on his inner thigh and he squirmed when I did that. Was there a certain tension building in the room? Yes, but I chose to be naïve to it.

“Knives can cut through fabric. Most of the ones on my legs are from the Underground. Others are from cutting through trees with ODM too fast. I had to get used to branches since there aren’t trees in the Underground.” I nodded, staring intently at the scars of his legs, and I could hear him cough once before turning his head to the side. We stayed in this position before I told him to sit backwards on the chair so I could get the marks on his back, flipping the page. It didn’t get past me how uncomfortable he looked trying to get settled with his front pressed up against the back of the chair. There was something in the way. This made me smirk and I reached out to touch his back, tracing some of the larger scars.

“This one is from a titan?” I remembered clearly one in the center of his back was marked by medical tape from Hange. I traced down it, seeing his fists grab the top of the chair slightly, making sure he knew which one I was talking about. 

“I was saving a cadet and got caught on its front tooth. Had to shove a sword in it’s ugly-ass mouth so it would let me go.” I hummed, acknowledging his story and moving on. Again, his back was as marvelous to look at as his front. Here, one could clearly see the muscles he had from carrying the ODM gear and wielding the dual swords. I remembered back to the first time he’d exposed himself like this when I took the bandages off for him. Back then, I don’t think I was in a state of mind to notice all the scars he had on his back. I was unconsciously tracing them as I drew and labeled on the official paperwork. 

“What’s this one? I don’t know it.” I traced again, a small circle near the edge of his linen undergarment. I felt him shiver under my touch and he looked over his shoulder at me, jaw a little tight. 

“Bullet wound.” It was short and I could hear the strain in his voice. When he turned back to face the wall, I let my smirk come out. If I stopped now, would he be able to turn back around in confidence? With this, I just leaned forward, pressing my cheek into his upper shoulder blade, feeling how warm his skin had become. 

“Finished?” He asked, and I just nodded into his skin. 

“You have so many.” He snorted. 

“I was born fighting. Plus, I have to always save these cadets’ asses on the field. It’s only natural.” He didn’t turn around, just crossing his arms and slightly leaning back into me. I closed my eyes, feeling his touch and warmth again. At night, he always sleeps with a shirt on, so I rarely get to feel him like this. 

“It’s only fair you let me see the scars you have.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him, his head half-turned to look down at me. Something in my stomach stirred when he said that. 

“I don’t have half as many as you. The biggest ones are my hands.” He apparently felt composed enough to turn around, shifting to hide something stirring in his lower half still. 

“Let me rephrase. You made me strip twice, once in front of the entire military brigade of Mitras. It’s only fair.” He gestured his hand forward and it made me snicker. 

“You’ve seen me without a shirt on a few times, Lev.” He opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it again, thinking of a better rebuttal. 

“I haven’t had my hands tracing your back for thirty minutes trying to rile you up.” I rested my head in one hand. So he did notice. 

“What do I get out of this?” He tsk-ed, crossing his arms over his chest again. 

“You always want a reward. Fine, I’ll give you one. Just let me look at your scars first. An equal exchange.” I perked up when he said that, and I could tell he almost laughed at how willingly I took my shirt off, leaving me only in an ivory brassiere and my skirt. Then his hand pointed down as to say ‘that too’. Just like him, I stood up, but I slowly unbuttoned my skirt and let it slide to the floor. Now we were both sitting there, only in our linen undergarments. We’d been here before, really, but only in short, spur-of-the-moment type situations. One moment, my underwear would be off, and then just ask quickly he was putting it back on so as not to expose me so much to himself. He did the same with his linen shorts. This was much more… intense. He took time to sit back, his eyes scanning over every curve of my body. It made me twitch, my foot tapping waiting for him to reach out and touch me like he said he was going to do. 

“You have a considerable amount. I hadn’t noticed before. Turn around.” He made a circle in the air with his finger and I obliged, leaning forward to rest my head on the top of the chair. I heard him move forward too, his breath wafting over my shoulders. This sent shivers down my spine, making me sit up straight. Then, he reached out with one finger, tracing the shallow white lines and indents. With each movement, a jolt was sent down my spine and into my stomach. I had to lower my head to hide my blush and the heavy breathing. He was giving me back what I had done to him. 

“This one?” He traced a medium-sized scar up and down, right below the back of my brasserie. 

“I-I fell out of a tree when I was younger and landed on Jonas’s bicycle.” He hummed and I felt the air that came out of his nose gloss over the right side of my neck. When I turned my head to the right, looking over my shoulder, his face was right there. This made me swallow hard and the butterflies in my stomach started flying around even faster. It was comical how this small touch was making my mind fuzzy. I had seen him bare before. I had touched him. He’d touched me. But nothing like this. 

“And this one?” It was a whisper right in my ear and it made me physically jump. He felt it and I heard a small laugh come from him. The scar he was tracing was in the middle of my back, just like the one he had. His finger was just tracing it up and down, waiting for my answer. 

“The… t-the edge of a… a brick building,” I breathed out, the ending shooting up an octave as his right hand went around my middle, pulling my back right into his chest. His head was resting in the crook of my neck, but he was only looking forward, staring at the same blackboard that I was, filled with possible battle formations and other things he’d written about fieldwork. His other hand, the left, came and squeezed my thigh, slowly tracing again. Up and down. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t feel his newfound arousal pressing into my back. This made me think hard, heart beating fast. While this wasn’t the barest we’ve gotten, this was the most intimate in ways of sexual attraction. Was this going to be the night? 

“All these scars you got before you met me, hm?” He shifted just his eyes to look up at me. I swallowed, not trusting my voice as his hand coasted higher and higher on my thigh.

“E-except my neck.” This time he hummed, and I felt the vibration filter through my back. His hand slowly went from my thigh to my neck, lightly grasping the sides and rubbing that same finger along the thin scar the refugees had given me that day so long ago. The scar itself would be gone in a few years, not being deep in the first place. 

“I wanted to kill them. For some reason. I usually never want to kill humans.” His voice was softer, remembering the same moment I was. 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” His grip on my waist tightened and he pulled me back enough so I was completely resting on him. His skin was still hot to the touch, almost burning. 

“I’ll do anything to protect you, Eva.” I lowered my head, my thoughts instantly going to a week ago. He would do anything but marry and have kids with me. 

“Anything?” I felt him seize up, just a tiny bit, knowing what I was referring to. I had just ruined his nice moment. This is why I’d held back my feelings for a month. Reasons like this. If I had just kept my mouth shut, what would we be doing now? 

“I can’t give you children.” 

“I know.” There was a pause in his heavy breathing. I couldn’t feel it on my neck. I couldn’t feel the in and out of his chest on my back. He was holding something in. He was going to say something that he had to prepare for. 

“But… I’ve thought… over this past week...” He sat up, his head no longer resting in my neck. At this new angle, with me leaning back all the way, he could just simply look down at me. There it was. Disbelief. My eyes widened in disbelief too at the words that exited his mouth. 

“... But I’m not opposed to taking your hand in marriage in the near future.” I sat up right away, looking him right in the eyes. They were as dilated as mine. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, really.” If he had a shirt on, I would have grabbed it to pull him to my lips. This time, I moved forward, my hands flat on his chest pushing him back against the chair. He moaned slightly at my sudden attack on his lips, but these kisses were deep. They weren’t like our various sessions on the couch or deep in the night when we both couldn’t sleep. I wanted to say thank you. Over and over. I wanted to say I love you. Over and over. And he responded, kissing me back with the same passion. 

He pulled me on top of him, my legs hanging off the chair on either side of his. His hands were slowly tracing up my back, leaving what felt like a path of fire with their ascent. I wrapped my arms around his neck, one hand in his hair and the other grabbing at the skin on his back, holding my composure. Usually, at this point, Levi would ask permission for a single thing. The only thing he would do that night. May I take your bra off? May I see you down there? Yet, there was no stopping. His mouth wasn’t pulling back from mine to ask a question, and if anything he was kissing me at a bruising pace. 

When he pulled my hips down on him fully, grinding up into the crevice of my inner thigh, I knew he wasn’t going to stop tonight. I tested it, arching my back into his chest, hoping to connect my core with his own. He whimpered once into my mouth when I did this, and still, he didn’t pull back like he did before. This made my heart burst, and something fueled me to push further. Levi was going to allow it. 

His lips detached from mine, going to my lower jaw, then my neck. With one hand, he moved my head so he had the complete amount of skin to work with. I held him close to me, my eyes fluttering closed as he found that perfect little spot at the base of my neck. 

“Levi,” I moaned, and I felt him smirk into the softness of my skin, not stopping his assault and leaving a small bruise, matching the other ones. Once his hands coasted over my waist, they went back up, stopping at the back of my brasserie, two thumbs slipping under the material to test the waters. I ground down on him again, letting him know that it was okay. His dick twitched up into me, excited by my given consent, and in one swoop he unbuttoned the linen fabric and threw it somewhere across the room. It was going to stay there. 

As soon it was off the heat of my skin contrasted with the cold air of the room, making goosebumps rise all over my skin. I arched my back again, giving Levi a full view of my breasts, which he was obliged to take. He just sat back, like he had when I’d taken my shirt off, and took in my body in front of him. This made my arousal grow, and I knew that at this point he could feel it seeping through the thin fabric of my undergarment onto his. He was just there, staring, not giving me any relief. This time, he wasn’t going to rush through things. One hand went up, his thumb glancing over the peak of my right nipple, making me shiver at the touch. He took that in too. The way my body was so ready to be under his. 

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled, leaning forward to kiss the valley between both of my breasts, “All mine.” His voice was low and had taken on a new filter that I’d never heard before. His voice was making me drip. 

“Lev, please.” He looked up at me, face between both of my breasts, and slowly brought his other hand up to pinch my left nipple. I squirmed at this, my sense going overboard at just how little he was giving me. I tried to get relief by using his own arousal to rub against mine, but he had shifted back, only allowing me relief on his thigh. I would take it at this point. All of this sexual release had been building up the past month and a half. He would touch me so little, making me orgasm with his fingers or his mouth so quickly, and then move on with the rest of his day. He would never allow me to pleasure him either. It was like he was playing with me this whole time and I wanted it to be over. I wanted him to finally have his way with me the way I knew he wanted to. The way in which his eyes still lingered over my post-orgasm figure, wanting so bad to enter me. 

“Please what, Ev?” He whispered, teasing me completely. His elbows tightened around my sides, practically lifting me off his thigh so I couldn’t move anymore. Until I answered him, I was immobile. I bit my bottom lip, looking up at the ceiling as his thumbs just rolled over both of my nipples in tandem. He would make me sit here like this for hours if I didn’t answer.

“Touch me,” I groaned out, but he didn’t move. I tried to squirm again, motioning to him that I wasn’t having this, but he just chucked. 

“I am touching you, brat.” I outwardly groaned when he said that, letting him know just how dissatisfied I was with this current situation. The slow stimulation of my breasts was driving me crazy, and it was almost worse than this whole month-and-a-half of half-filled orgasms and longing touches. 

“Please fuck me.” This made his elbows go slack, but so did his hands, finding their way to my waist again, holding me there. It felt so demeaning having to ask him like this when he knew for so long that that was exactly what I wanted. Yet, he was still laughing, grabbing my chin so I had to look him right in the eye. He kissed the edge of my mouth, then my cheek, then my jaw, teasing over and over by pushing his thigh up into me at his pace. All I could do was sit there and take it. 

“I’m going to make love to you tonight, Evlynn. I’ll fuck you later.” He picked me up, standing from the chair, and carrying me a few feet into the bedroom. Slowly, he laid me down, coming to hover above me. He kissed me once, then twice, then descended to swirl one of my nipples in his mouth, the other being attended to by his hand. This time, I had nothing to grind into to relieve the aching in my core, and all I could do was rub my thighs together for some relief. He noticed this, and opened them, settling himself in between so I couldn’t rub against anything. 

“Any pleasure you feel tonight is going to be because of me,” he asserted, moving to my other breast. I just moaned under him, wrapping one leg around his hips to pull him closer onto me. His lips moved, kissing down my stomach, hovering over some of the scars he assessed earlier. While he was taking his time, moving so slowly, I had to relieve something, so I grabbed my breasts myself. Rolling them in my hands harshly to feel something other than his teasing, featherlight kisses. 

“Hands up!” He bit into my thigh. I blinked, looking down at him as he was directly between my legs. His eyes were blown out and intense, and he had given me that voice. The one he talks to the cadets in. He was ordering me. With wide, doe-eyes, I did what he said, not daring to go against his orders. 

“Good girl,” he mumbled into my thigh, moving his hands under them to give a better vantage point. Again, he started teasing me. The closest he got to my center was kissing the edge of my undergarment. Above him, I was a whimpering mess, trying to move my body so maybe his lips would slip somewhere else, but he moved his hands up to hold me down into the bed. For a third time, I couldn’t move and I had to take everything he wasn’t giving to me. 

“I want to take you in slowly. I’ve waited so long for this.” Even the breath he let out from that sentence missed my core, giving me no form of relief. I could only grab onto the pillow above me, his pillow, and pray he would give me it soon. I had gotten so accustomed to him just going for it, that now this was torture. He wasn’t giving me his fingers, his mouth; nothing. It had me groaning and whimpering under him louder than ever before. 

“Please, please, please, please.” I got some power and bucked my hips up to his face, which made him smile up at me and run one finger down my slit, feeling the wetness of the cloth covering it. 

“All for me?” I just nodded, my head having been thrown back by that one single touch, “Words.” He lightly slapped my clit, reprimanding me. 

“Ugnh - fuck!” He slowly circled my clit with one finger, waiting for me to answer his question. The way he was commanding me was setting a fire in my stomach and it made me mold to comply. 

“All for you!” I let out in one breath, a loud moan following as it gave my clit a single kiss, the fabric still in between me and his mouth. If he didn’t start soon, this bastard was going to make me cry. My eyes widened then, looking only at the ceiling in realization. He wanted me to beg. He wanted me to use my words. 

“Levi, please take it off.” He looked up at me, only the tip of his tongue circling my clothed clit, motioning to the reason why he hadn’t taken it off yet. My hands were at my sides, clutching the sheets. Slowly, I lifted them up again, crossing them above my head to try and secure them. 

“There we go,” he said, pulling off the only article of clothing left on my body. When he did this, he sat upon the bed, his hands going with him. There he was, looking down at me completely naked before him. His eyes were darkening still as he could see my wetness glisten just for him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he took one finger, always one finger, and dragged it down my slit collecting the juices that were already there, “My beautiful girl,” he pushed his one finger inside of me, “All laid out for me. Finally.” 

He moved his finger in and out, drawing moans from me. They were loud. They were whimpers. He was finally touching me in the way I wanted. Not fast. Not quick. He added a second finger, which made my back lift off the bed slightly and he moved to push me down with one hand. In and out, in and out, just stretching me. Only when he felt satisfied with how much I drenched his fingers did he move his mouth down. He took no time latching onto my clit, giving it kitten licks at first. As soon as he sucked on the bud once, then he allowed his fingers to curve, hitting the one spongy spot he’d studied the location of. My eyes were blown out, stars dancing in my vision. The way he was working his tongue over the most sensitive part of my body and using his fingers to get me up to my high had me spinning. He’d never used them in tandem. No man had ever used them like this either. I was shaking, my nails digging into my forearms, trying to keep them above my head. I didn’t want it to stop. If I dropped my hands he would no doubt stop. I wanted to drop them and shove his head down on me further. 

“Look at me.” I did, right away. Wasting no time and giving him no excuse to punish me again. I looked as his mouth was completely on my core, eating me like a man who had starved. No, he was a starving man, now getting full off of me. His tongue was giving long, harsh licks to my clit, and now his fingers had moved to a faster pace, hitting my g-spot with every thrust. I chanted his name over and over like a poem. Like one of those hymns, the Order of the Walls would sing on the streets. My song. Levi. Levi. Over and over again. He wouldn’t let me fuck myself on his tongue, one arm completely over my hips, and soon, I felt the knot grow in my lower stomach. 

“I-I’m… close!” I shouted out, and his eyes conveyed complete lust, looking up at me writhing for him to give me what I needed. I needed to cum like this. It was nothing I’d felt before. The knot was so tight in my stomach and I was yelling so loud, the neighbors a building over might come and knock tomorrow morning. 

“Please. Please, can I cum? Please!” His mouth came down once more, harder, sucking only on my clit. All it took was one harsh curve of his fingers coupled with a single, long lick, and I was coming undone on his tongue. This wasn’t like before. My hands came down, grabbing the sheets as I was sent into my high at a crushing pace. His fingers were still going in and out, overstimulating me as I shook from head to toe. The only thing on my tongue was his name. Once I started to jerk away from his fingers, tears welling in my eyes motioning to him that I had come down from my orgasm, he pulled them out, sticking them right in his mouth to clean them. 

“So dirty.” 

He moved back up my body quickly, latching his lips onto mine, giving me a taste of myself. His tongue slipped in too, now not at that slow and deep pace we had before in the office. This time, he was the one being tempted by a release. He ground down on me, my wetness covering his shorts again. This time, he was completely hard and when I put my hand down to rub him, to tease him like he did me, I relished in the fact that he didn’t move my arm away. He let out a grunt in my ear as I finally was able to move my hand inside his undergarments and grab onto his dick, hard and long. I felt it all. The veins, the ridges, just how big he was. Slowly, I jerked him up and down, using my thumb to tease his slit. His jaw tensed when I did this too like he had to hold back to urge to ravish me in the way he told me he wasn’t going to do. 

“Can I take them off?” I asked, and he went to kiss me, this time lighter as he looked directly into my eyes. He reached down and took them off himself, my hand still going up and down his length. Now, we were finally both naked in front of each other. Not just one or the other. I was finally touching him. He was finally letting me see all of him. I looked down, noticing the size and the redness he was displaying. I knew then what I wanted to do, but when I went to slide down to try and give him relief with my mouth, an equal exchange, he held me below him, a harsh grip on my hip. 

“I told you. This is about you.” He reached down and took my hand off of him, lacing our fingers together. The cocky captain that was ordering me while between my legs had left, and I saw the vulnerability in his eyes as he lined up with my entrance. I put my other hand on the back of his neck, encouraging him to push forward. 

“Are you sure you want me to?” He asked, a moment of doubt. He’d never made love to anyone before. 

“I want only you, Levi.” I pulled him down to kiss him, another deep and long kiss, and when he pushed into me completely, we both groaned into the kiss. It had been a while since I had sex, and he could tell by the way I winced softly as he pushed back in again. He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, his hand squeezing mine as he slowly started a pace in and out. After two thrusts, he hit the spot inside of me that sent my body reacting up into his. I was no longer in pain, and both of us were wrapped in pleasure. He angled his hips up expertly so he would hit my g-spot with every thrust, and soon his head was buried in my neck, whispering praise. 

“You feel so good. You’re so good. Mine. All mine. So beautiful, taking me like this. Perfect.” I threw my head back again, and he took my other hand which was digging into his back, putting it above my head. He used one hand to hold them up there, and the other to squeeze the sides of my neck, cutting off my air. This sent shockwaves to my core and my head. 

“Oh my, yes! Yes, yes, yes. Levi!” 

“Ugh, so fucking gorgeous with the moonlight on you. Fuck, you were made for me. Look how well you’re taking me. Pussy sent from above. Just for me.” His praises made me pant and cry with every thrust, making my body set on fire once again. The knot was ever-so tighter with him pounding into me, losing whatever slow self-control he had earlier. We were both chasing our highs for our first time together. I looked into his eyes, the moonlight shining into the grey, making them seem so bright. So open. He’s going to marry me. That’s the thought that was running through my head. This man. This handsome, gorgeous man was going to be mine. This man, who was whispering sweet nothings in my ear making me feel like some goddess, was going to be mine. 

“Oh my god, fuck!” He grunted loudly in my ear as his hips snapped harshly into mine. 

“I’m going to… I’m-” He took the hand off my neck, reaching down to circle my clit. 

“Me, too,” he breathed out. So close. So close. 

“Levi!” I called out, as he pinched my clit ever-so-lightly, sending me right into my high. This time, I couldn’t control how my body was moving below him, my second orgasm taking complete control of me. He was still pushing in and out, having to use the hand that was on my clit to hold my hips down. 

“Fuck, Eva. God, I’m going to…” He whined loudly in his ear, the overstimulation hitting me again, and this seemed to be what sent him over. Pulling out quickly, he came on my stomach, head thrown back in pleasure as his hand milked everything out of him. So much came out, painting my stomach in white. I was breathing too hard, trying to recover, to care. He still had his head buried in my neck, and I realized what he was whispering, caught up by the pleasure his orgasm had brought him. 

“I love you so much, fuck. Eva. Love you. So much. So perfect. Evlynn. God. What did you do to me?” This made me breathe harder, eyes watering finally hearing him say those words to me. I didn’t even move when he got up, turning the oil lamp in the bathroom up to go get a towel.

He finally said it. 

His feet padded against the ground, and I sat up on my elbows, looking at him standing in the door, one arm gripping the side frame. His eyes were still ever intense, looking at me down on the bed, towel in hand. My legs were still shaking, and the look he was giving me wasn’t helping. My chest was moving up and down now, but not because of the activity previous. To break the tension, he just smiled, coming over on the bed to wipe me off, folding the towel, his towel, and putting in on the top of the dresser to clean later. He grabbed the blankets, opening them to crawl underneath and pull me with him. I was lying completely on top of him and he had one hand rubbing my back, the other playing with my hair. It had been five minutes and we still hadn’t said a word to each other. 

“I love you,” he whispered into my hair, and I smiled, snuggling into him more. A few tears came to my eyes too, just like when he said he was going to marry me. 

“I love you, too.” He sighed and pulled me up higher so my head was in his neck this time. He pulled the blanket up higher so that I was covered up to my neck. 

“No one’s ever told me that before.” I gripped him tighter, sitting up so that I was looking down into his eyes. There it was again. Disbelief. Fear. I needed to get rid of that. 

“I love you, Levi.” He just nodded, smiling slightly up at me. 

-

“Oh god, fuck!” I yelled into the pillow, his hand pushing my head down into the mattress as he pounded into me from behind. I had to turn my head to the side so I could breathe with the force he was using. I knew I was going to have bruises on my legs from earlier in the night, but now that was going to be mixed with handprints as he found out quickly how nice my ass bounced when he slapped it. 

“Levi!” I called out at one aggressive thrust, hitting the spot I desperately wanted him to hit. He was being mean to me this morning, saying how I was so rude going to leave him in bed alone to go down to work after he’d just made love to me. He also said he promised to fuck me after. So here we were. Now, I was going to be late. At least there weren’t any customers who came in this early anymore. They would be hearing my moans loud and clear through the floorboards.

“That’s not my name, brat.” He took his hand off the bed frame and pulled me up by my hair, my body now flush against his chest. I let out another moan as this position made it so easy for his dick to angle up and give me the high I wanted. Another hash slap to my bottom told me he wanted me to correct myself. 

“Captain!” I yelled out, and this satisfied him, shoving me back down and starting at a relentless pace that made me and the bed move forward. I grabbed at anything to keep me stationary, and my moans were beginning to sound dumb, mixed with the saliva coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t catch my breath as he hit against my cervix with every thrust. 

“C-Captain! I’m c… coming!” He sped up, trying to fuck me through my climax, only to reach his own, pulling out to spread his seed over my bottom. After he was done, signaled by him going to get the towel he had folded up last night, I collapsed down onto the bed, stomach first. My knees were in pain from being in that position for so long, him using his dick to tease me into oblivion and submission.

“My legs…” I groaned to him as he cleaned me off and he just gave one masochistic chuckle, throwing the towel into the dirty clothes bin. 

“Should I sneak down and put a sign on the door that you won’t be open today?” I rolled over, now on my back, looking up at him, still bare, but one hand on his hip. He seemed completely unaffected by what he just did to me, other than being extra sweaty. I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking this sudden cockiness.

“Should I tell Hange you like to be called Captain in bed?” I smirked up at him and his smile dropped. He was now glaring at me, but the blush in his cheeks didn’t slide past me one bit. If I could sit up without hurting my guts, I would poke his cheek. 

“G-Get the fuck up… you brat. How can you have such a bad work ethic? Sleeping in for so long!” He grabbed a fresh pair of linen pants, sliding them on quickly, and walking out of the room to get away from me. 

“I love you!” I called out to him. 

“Thanks!”

Chapter Eighteen →

Chapter Masterlist

[ajerzaaddict]

Let’s make things right between us

Jellal believed that Erza shouldn't be with him for valid reasons, but Erza thought otherwise. And she would fight until she make things right between them.

Rated: M

Words: 5.8k+

FFN

I can’t believe I’ve actually come up with 5.8k+ words for a oneshot. And it has taken me near 6 months to complete this, as I checked that I actually created the doc on 31/3/2021. The lack of canon contents was discouraging me, and there were other things occupying me as well. So usually I wrote a few paragraphs and then would put it aside for weeks. Anyway, I’m so glad that I’ve done it and happy with the outcome. I really hope that you find this rollercoaster of Jerza filled with hurt / comfort / sexy time enjoyable to read.

~~~

"Jellal."

His shoulders stiffened when Jellal heard his name being uttered by the voice he yearned but also feared to hear. Slowly, he turned his head to look at the uninvited visitor.

"Erza." There was a tightness in Jellal's voice. He was slightly irritated, but mostly nervous. "How did you find me here?"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you. I've promised confidentiality to my source." Erza opened the wooden gate and stepped into the backyard.

"Nevermind." Jellal sighed. His location should only be known to his former guild mates. "Then may I ask what brings you to me?"

Erza looked at Jellal with a piercing gaze. "It has taken me hours to come to see you. How about you being a friendly host, inviting me to your cottage for a seat and offering me a cup of tea? Then I can answer whatever questions you have for me."

Jellal stared back at Erza as he considered the options he had, but decided there was none other than complying with Erza's request because she definitely would not take his rejection as an answer. He took a deep breath, then exhaled.

"Please come in." He finally looked away from Erza as he injected his magic force into the magic-driven wheelchair through the body-link to move himself towards the cottage's backdoor.

Erza followed Jellal in silence. Passing through the backdoor, they entered the dining room equipped with an open kitchen.

Erza was surprised to find there was a woman in the room, and her heart suddenly felt heavy. The woman was a blonde like Lucy but had short hair. She was in the middle of clearing the dishes when she sensed their presence and turned to look at them. Erza studied her face and guessed that she was of a similar age to Jellal, not older than thirty.

"Mr. Fernandes." The woman greeted Jellal before fixing her gaze on Erza. "Oh, you have a guest. Would you like me to serve you and this lady anything?"

"Thanks, Iris. There's no such need. I have something private to discuss with my guest, so you can leave earlier today."

Iris nodded her understanding and took off the apron and put it in the kitchen drawer. "Then I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Fernandes."

"See you tomorrow, Iris. Thanks for your hard work today."

"Not a problem." Iris smiled at Jellal before she excused herself.

"Take a seat." Jellal told Erza after Iris left the room.

"Is Iris your domestic helper?" Erza tried to ask casually as she took her seat at one of the two chairs placed by a small round dining table.

"She's not merely a domestic helper. She's my caretaker as well, assisting me in doing things I can't handle on my own in daily life." Jellal answered while moving to the stove cabinet that was clearly specially made lower to suit his height in the wheelchair. "I'm sorry that I only have coffee but not tea. Or would you rather have water?"

"Water will be fine, thanks."

Jellal filled two glasses of water and put them in a tray. He then placed the tray on his lap and directed the wheelchair to the dining table. He settled himself at Erza's opposite before placing the tray on top of the table.

Erza picked up one glass and took a mouthful of water; while Jellal simply watched her and left his glass untouched on the tray, waiting in silence.

"I'm here to fight for my happiness." Erza said as she laid the glass on the table, and looked straight into Jellal's eyes. "And I won't leave until I get what I want."

Jellal balled his hand around the wheelchair's armrest as he willed himself to hold Erza's determined gaze which seemed to penetrate his soul. "You've come to the wrong person, Erza. What you are looking for is not something I can offer you."

Erza snorted. "You sound like you really know what can make me happy, better than I do. But Jellal, you don't really. You need to stop deciding what is the best for me and assuming you can't give me what I need."

"Aren't you assuming, too, Erza?" Jellal questioned, raising his voice in frustration. He knew Erza didn't like being challenged but he was also not afraid of confronting her when needed. "Didn't you sound like you know me better than I know myself when it comes to what I'm capable of giving and what not?"

Erza slammed her hands on the table top, shooting up from her chair. "Then let's speak our minds and make things clear for each other once and for all, and stop making assumptions any further." She paused and swallowed. "I love you, Jellal. I have a crush on you the moment you named me Scarlet and since then I've never stopped loving you."

"Stop it please, Erza." Jellal asked in a distressed tone.

Leaning forward, Erza grabbed Jellal's shirt and pulled him closer.

"I've never stopped wishing for us to be together one day since I met you again before the Grand Magic Games. After Zeref and Achnologia have been defeated, after you've been pardoned by the Queen, I thought my wish would come true finally." Angry and hurtful tears pricked at the corners of Erza's eyes.

Gritting his teeth, Jellal turned his head to the side and closed his eyes as it was too much for him to watch Erza crying sadly because of him once again.

"Yet you avoided me when I tried to reach you after you were pandonned, and chose to isolate yourself, not giving me a chance, not giving yourself a chance, to find the happiness we deserve together. "

Jellal grasped Erza's wrist as he came face to face with her again. "What kind of happiness can you find in taking care of a handicapped man like me for the rest of your life, Erza?" He questioned in a grave tone. "You'll just find I'm nothing but a burden to you eventually."

Erza searched Jellal's eyes. She found herself still being enthralled by their beautiful deep blue color which reminded her of the ocean at night. But it also pained her to see that they were dimmed by sorrow which blocked out the light of hope.

"Why are you having so little trust in me even though I've shown you time after time and crisis after crisis, that I'll never give up on you no matter what happens to you, Jellal?" Teardrops rolling down her face like a chain of pearls. "And how can you still belittle yourself as nothing but a burden? You've protected me from danger and comforted me in ways no other could when I was vulnerable despite your physical disabilities!"

"But I couldn't even have come to your side without someone else's help!" Jellal cried out in pain. "There are many things I can no longer do on my own and I must rely on a caretaker to live my everyday life. And I don't want you to shoulder such a duty for a lifetime!" Jellal lowered his head as he could no longer hold back his tears from falling. "I'm very sorry to disappoint you, Erza. I'm very sorry you've invested your love in the wrong person, that is me. Please don't waste your time on me anymore. You should live freely, not be bound by me."

Jellal wouldn't be surprised if Erza rebuked him, or even slapped him in the face, for being a coward who didn't dare to accept the love of his life because he didn't know how to overcome his insecurity. He wished she would. He deserved to receive her anger. But what descended on him was only a heavy silence which seemed to suffocate him.

"I'm already tired of you forcing your vision of freedom on me. It never ended well."

Erza's voice was nothing more than a whisper, but her words were crystal clear and sharp like her sword, breaking the silence as well as slicing through Jellal's heart. Placing his hand over his left chest as he felt his heart aching, Jellal slowly raised his head, glancing at Erza with anguish-filled eyes.

Erza released Jellal's shirt from her hold. Wiping her cheeks with both hands, she tried to dry them from her tears, before she took a few deep breaths to force down her sobbing.

"You so desperately want me to leave you, don't you? Then this is how you can make it." She kneeled in front of Jellal such that she could look into his eyes on the same level. "You only need to look me in the eyes and tell me that my love for you is one-sided all along, that you've never loved me, and you never will."

Jellal's eyes widened in disbelief. "Erza…"

"Tell me what I've told you, and I'll gather the pieces of my broken heart and disappear from your life forever ."

"Have I not already made my point clear enough for you, Erza? Why can't you just accept the reasons I've given you?" In a shaky voice, Jellal almost cried out his questions.

"I'm waiting, Jellal. If you can't tell me to go from the bottom of your heart, then allow me to stay."

"Just…...leave me alone." Jellal shut his eyes and balled his hand over his chest.

"Look at me Jellal!"

Countless moments in their past flashed across Jellal's mind, like a movie being played fast-backward. He still remembered it like yesterday, the joyful look on Erza's face when he named her Scarlet, and the first taste of falling in love when she thanked him with a timid smile which made his heart skip a beat and jump unusually quick. Their fate had intertwined since then. To deny that he had been in love with Erza since they were young teenagers was like abandoning the most influential element which made up the Jellal Fernandes he was today.

Yet, he believed he was a man who was already too broken to be repaired anyway. It seemed like a fitting fate for him to lose himself more by severing his ties with Erza completely. He told himself that it would also release Erza from his bond, so he should not hesitate to become a cruel man to smash Erza's heart, as well as his own.

Jellal had never felt his eyelids so heavy before when he opened his eyes again to look at Erza, the woman who was like the force of his life. Putting down his hands on the armrests, he held them firmly as he felt his body trembling.

"Your love for me is an unrequited one and I never…"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence.

In a lighting speed, Erza had held Jellal's face between her hands and crashed her mouth over his.

Startled by Erza's sudden advancement, Jellal was immobilized as Erza greedily tasted him. He grabbed her shoulders once the initial shock was over, trying to push her away. But Erza refused to let him go. As they struggled against each other, the wheelchair, being unable to withstand their combined forces, lost its balance. Jellal fell forward and into Erza, landing on top of her as Erza fell backward on the floor.

They were both panting as they took a break from their fight and kiss. Jellal's face was buried in Erza's hair and between her head and shoulder. Her scent was alluring, that it took every ounce of his will for him to not give in to her seduction and stay but to distance himself from her by pushing his upper body up.

He looked into Erza's teary red eyes and sighed. "You've never planned to actually accept my rejection, didn't you?"

"I simply can't lose you." Erza admitted with a bitter smile. "And I shouldn't have challenged you, forcing you to say things which were against your heart and will. For that I apologize."

"And I'm sorry for trying to tell the biggest lie to you. But Erza." His eyes were filled with sadness but also tenderness as Jellal gazed at Erza. "You must understand that love can't be the solution to everything. And you must accept that even if we are in love with each other, being together still may not be the best choice for the both of us."

"Love can't be the solution to everything, but it's what motivates us to find one even when the problem seems unsolvable. It's the force which keeps us moving forward when we feel tired and weak. Love gives us comfort and warmth and courage which helps us to endure suffering when life gets cruel." Holding Jellal's shoulders, Erza rolled them over and got on top of him. "But not everyone is lucky enough to find love in life. There's no other worse choice than rejecting love when we are blessed with it. I really, really, hope that we can treasure the love we found in each other and allow its power to grow on us."

Jellal breathed a sigh and smiled a small knowing smile. "You are ever optimistic, Erza."

"That's why I'm a perfect match for you who is ever pessimistic. We can balance each other out."

Gently, Erza held Jellal's right cheek in her palm.

"Do you love me, Jellal?"

Jellal knew he should not evade the issue again as they were trying to make peace with each other after going through an angst drama.

"Always."

"Do you love me?"

Jellal breathed deeply. "I love you, Erza." He said it with his clearest voice and firmest tone. "I always do, and always will."

"Thank you." Smiling, Erza whispered, then lowered her head and pressed her lips over Jellal's. This time, she kissed him less forcefully but more sensually.

Jellal was hesitant to react, but also unable to reject Erza. Having admitted his love for her was like having his heart stripped of the steel wall he built around it, making it impossible for him to pretend any further that he didn't enjoy her kiss. When Erza traced his lips with the tip of her tongue asking for entrance to his mouth, he finally let go of his last restraint and gave in to his desire.

Running his fingers through Erza's hair at the back of her head, Jellal opened his mouth and wrapped his tongue around her intruding one. He had never known a taste as toxic as Erza Scarlet in his life. He forced their tongues into her mouth as his desire to taste her more thoroughly grew beyond his control. He explored her warm, wet cavern as far as his tongue could reach, as well as stroking her tongue with his.

Erza felt dizzy. Jellal had not only taken away her breath and emptied her mind as he kissed her eagerly and dominantly, but had also ignited an aching need deep in her core and between her thighs. Moaning deep in her throat, she ground her groin against Jellal's.

Jellal snapped out of the spell of the kiss and regained his senses as Erza's action made him realize that he had led them to something he feared to face. His hand slid down Erza's head. Grabbing her shoulder, he pushed her away from him, breaking their kiss finally.

A thread of their mixed saliva stretched between their parted lips as they both panted heavily to draw air in their lungs.

"I can't." Jellal said once his breathing resumed normal.

Disappointment flashed across Erza's face but she managed to keep her negative emotion at bay.

"What do you mean? What are you worried about?" She asked Jellal in a concerned tone.

Jellal covered his eyes with his palm. He had wished that he would never need to reveal his disturbing problem to Erza. He could have kept it in the dark if Erza had accepted his rejection and left. But now, after he had failed to convince her to give up on him and even given her hope in their relationship with his confession of love, he knew he must tell her the truth. She needed to know it.

"My injury has not only rendered my legs useless." Jellal paused, tasting an unusual bitterness on his tongue. Or the taste was only from his imagination, reflecting his unwillingness to admit his incompetence to Erza. He swallowed hard before continuing. "I'm…...suffering from a certain degree of…...sexual dysfunction, too."

Silence engulfed them once again. After a moment, Erza held Jellal's hand over his eyes and tried to pull it away from his face. To her relief, Jellal had not put up much resistance; although he had chosen to look sideways instead of at her after she uncovered his face. She didn't blame his act of avoidance. She tried to make him at ease, caressing his forehead with her fingertips. Then she ran her fingers along his eyebrows and traced the shape of his facial tattoo, before she palmed his face, stroking his cheekbone with her thumb.

Jellal casted a glance at Erza. He didn't look as stressed as a moment ago, and heaved a quiet sigh. "You have every right to change your mind and leave me, Erza. And I won’t blame you."

Erza smiled a little, shaking her head. "I didn't come here looking for you unprepared, Jellal."

She straightened her back and moved to Jellal's side. Kneeling on one knee, she picked Jellal off the floor in bridal style.

Out of instinct, Jellal wrapped his arms around Erza's neck to steady himself, and his face turned slightly pink out of embarrassment.

"Erza? What are you doing?" He asked in a voice laced with anxiety.

"I don't suppose the hard floor is a comfortable place for you to lie on." Erza answered matter-of-factly as she walked out of the dining room.

On the other side of the door was the living room which was furnished with a two-seat couch, a coffee table, two bookshelves and a fireplace. Erza glanced around, then moved towards the two closed doors on her left-hand side.

"Is your bedroom behind one of these doors?"

"The one…...on the right." Jellal answered hesitantly as he was still unsure about the purpose behind Erza's action.

"Could you help open the door for us to go in?"

"What are you planning, Erza?"

"I just want you to loosen up while we try to sort things out between us."

Jellal sighed, not being completely convinced by Erza's answer. He did what she asked anyway.

Erza closed the door with her feet after entering Jellal's bedroom. She tenderly laid Jellal down in his bed ensuring that she would not hurt him, before she joined him in the bed. She lay back down beside him and rolled onto her side. She then rested her forehead against his strong upper arm while she held his hand in one of hers and put her other arm around his chest.

"When I decided that I would do anything to bring you back to me, I borrowed books trying to find out what kind of health issues and inconveniences would be faced by people who suffered the similar injuries as yours in their daily lives, and to learn some caretaking skills. Things were much more difficult to understand than I originally expected, though." Erza laughed dryly as she admitted her incompetence.

Jellal said nothing, but Erza knew he was listening intently, feeling his chest expand and contract under her arm as he breathed in and out deeply.

"Luckily Wendy was nearby and always helpful when I asked her questions; and also Porlyurisca, despite her resentment towards human contact, has given me some professional advice on things Wendy couldn't answer. She's always a little bit more lenient to me than to other people when I need her help."

Erza lifted her face to look at Jellal as her hand slid up his chest and found his face. Their eyes met when Jellal turned his face towards her.

"What you have just confessed on the floor of the dining room…...was one of the things I've prepared to face once we become a couple. It's not a big deal. There are many ways which allow us to satisfy each other." She looked away for a moment and lowered her voice. "It's also possible for us to make our own babies with the help of some tools if it's what we want. But no matter what." She turned her gaze back on Jellal. "I won't give you up because of this issue, or any other challenges."

Jellal cradled Erza's cheek in his palm; and tears appeared at the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Erza asked gently. "What's it about this time?"

"I haven't expected that behind your resolution in being with me, you've made such a big effort to understand my circumstances, and to prepare yourself for living with me. I assumed you came to find me without knowing all the troubles I'm facing or you may face to be with me, and said something terrible to you. I'm truly sorry."

"I didn't blame you. Like what I've said earlier, I knew that love can't be the solution to everything. So I tried to find out what challenges await me to become a part of your life, and to prepare myself to face them. Jellal, I'm truly ready."

"I trust you are. I'm just...worried that the responsibility of looking after me will tire you out in the long run because things could be more difficult in real life than they look on paper. Iris is already the third caretaker I hire. The previous two quit in less than three months because they felt the workload was too heavy."

Erza chuckled. "You don't compare me with ordinary people. Have you forgotten which guild I come from? I've helped look after a guild filled with some of the most difficult people to handle on the continent for years, yet I'm still good and don't find it a problem. But we would probably need a part-time helper so that someone can assist you when I'm away for long. Anyway, listen, Jellal." Erza put on a serious look. "I truly hope that you are finally convinced that we can be together, and understand that it will bring me infinite joy instead of making me miserable, with everything I've said and done."

Jellal took Erza's hand and placed it over his loudly-beating heart.

"I'm a handicapped man with a broken heart. I feel…...very inferior to you, the best woman and also person I've ever known, and ashamed to offer myself to you. But…...I'm all yours as long as you want me."

"You are my treasure and all I want." Tipping her head upward, Erza closed the distance between her lips and Jellal's. It delighted her that Jellal responded immediately, kissing her back. Their lips moved against each other in an unhurried yet fervent manner as they tried to enjoy the moment but also couldn't get enough of each other. Only when their lungs screamed for air that they finally pulled away from each other.

Erza slid one leg over Jellal's thighs and got on top of him as soon as her breathing had returned to normal, and used her equip magic to change into nothing but her underwear: a set of bra and panties made of thin white lace embroidered with flower patterns which barely covered her nipples and private area.

Jellal widened his eyes and opened his mouth slightly. He was not only unprepared for Erza's bold action, but he was also in awe seeing the divine beauty of her almost naked form. He took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart before he was finally able to take his eyes off Erza's glorious body but to look at her face instead. He found that her face had already turned rose-pink, and her lips were pressed into a thin line. Despite appearing shy and nervous, she chose to look at him instead of avoiding his gaze.

"We have time. We can take things slow." Jellal suggested. He didn't want Erza to force herself to do something she didn't feel comfortable with. And he wasn't sure if he really should develop physical intimacy with Erza in the current moment. Everything between them seemed to progress too fast all of a sudden and out of his grasp.

Erza shook her head.

"Eighteen years have passed since we parted ways in the Tower of Heaven against our will. I think we should make up for the immense time we've lost without further waiting."

Leaning forward, Erza laid her body flat against Jellal's and held his face to kiss him again. Jellal slid one hand to her bare back and weaved the other into her hair as he opened his mouth to welcome her tongue in, choosing to go with the flow and abandoning his hesitation.

Their kiss came to a halt when Erza drew back. She took a deep breath, and then brought her mouth to Jellal's throat. She trailed wet kisses from his Adam's apple to his chin and along his jawline, while her hand went underneath his shirt, roaming over his abdomen and chest. His nipples hardened under her touch and she pinched one lightly between her fingers.

A sigh fell out from Jellal's lips.

"Have I made you feel good?" Lips brushing against his ear, Erza asked Jellal in a whisper. Jellal nodded.

"I want to feel you touching me in the same way." She brushed his other nipple with her fingertips. "Have you ever fantasized holding my breasts in your hands? Caressing them, fondling them, squeezing them? Dreaming of rubbing my nipples between your fingers and of me moaning your name?"

Jellal shut his eyes, and various fantasies he had made about Erza flashed across his mind. He couldn't help but question if all the flirtatious words he had just heard were also from the Erza he imagined. Yet, he could clearly feel his body temperature rising, and his heartbeat quickening. He felt aroused; something he could only experience occasionally since he was injured. He opened his eyes to look at the real Erza. Raising a hand, he cupped the side of her left breast and squeezed.

Erza gave a little yelp and lifted up her head; her eyes found Jellal's. Jellal wasn't sure if the emotion he saw in Erza's eyes was surprise or excitement, or both. But he had no doubt that the color of her face had turned red like her hair.

"Should I stop?" He asked.

"You should continue." Erza pushed herself up with both hands and got on her knees, hovering above Jellal with her hair falling down like a red curtain at both sides of his head.

Jellal held Erza's cheek with his unoccupied hand as he looked at her fondly like he had found the brightest star in the sky. Being trapped in the scarlet world of Erza with her alone, isolated from the outside world, Jellal seemed to finally be able to honestly admit to himself that no matter how undeserved he felt of Erza, his desire to be with her would never die. If it was a sin for him to accept Erza into his life, he would willingly bear such sin instead of pushing her away.

"I love you, Erza." Smiling, Jellal ran his hand down to Erza's neck, over her collarbone and the side of her right breast, before cupping her breast from its underside.

"And I love you too, Jellal."

Sighs fell from Erza's lips as Jellal began working on her breasts and nipples over the thin fabric of her bra.

"Ah. Yes. Keep on." Erza encouraged Jellal, trying to arouse him more. "Make me wetter."

She freed one hand to unzip Jellal's pants. She then pulled his underwear down and reached for his manhood. She had seen naked men many times but touching a man's cock was a first time for her. Feeling both curious and nervous, she palmed Jellal's member.

"You feel smooth." She wrapped her fingers around him and began stroking, in the way she learnt from books. Gradually, he swelled and stiffened slightly in her hand. "How about I massage you between my legs instead?"

"Oh god. Erza." Jellal felt pleasure rising from deep in his stomach as Erza pumped him quicker and seduced him with words.

Erza leaned back as she lowered her bottom onto Jellal's thighs and pulled her breasts away from his hold. Jellal pushed his upper body up from the mattress with his elbows and forearms to have a better look at Erza. His heart skipped a few beats as he watched Erza gilding her lace-covered core along his length.

Erza moaned lowly in pleasure, feeling the aching need of her damp, throbbing folds being soothed by the physical contact with Jellal's flesh. She flattened one palm on Jellal's abdomen for support as she rubbed herself harder against his partly erect cock, and alternately rolled her nipples between her fingers to stimulate herself further.

Jellal fisted the bed sheet and panted, feeling his inside burning with lust which he had not experienced as strongly for a long time, as he watched Erza pleasuring herself with his body. Her arousal had already soaked through her tiny panties and rubbed over his cock. Her nipples stood hard and popped against her bra after receiving all the ministration from his and her hands and her breasts were bouncing as she moved her hips back and forth. Her moans falling out from her parted red lips were mixed with the sound of his name. He could feel excitement tingling over every nerve endings of his upper body. It was like Erza had awakened his lost senses with the combined forces of intimate touches, erotic view of her body and the lewd sound she made. He growled deep inside his throat and his head fell back with his eyes shutting closed and his teeth biting his lower lip, when a strong wave of rapture washed over him.

Erza smiled in relief when she realized that Jellal had reached his peak. She slowed down her movement to a stop despite having not reached her own climax. When Jellal laid his back flat on the mattress again, she lifted herself off him and moved forward to take his face between her palms. She then dipped her head to kiss him on the lips.

"I'm so glad you enjoyed the things I did with you."

"You are marvelous." Jellal smiled and ran his fingers through Erza's hair. "But things between us aren't over yet. I want to make you feel satisfied, too. Would you turn around with your back facing me?"

It warmed Erza's heart that Jellal not only cared about her, but also showed willingness in taking the lead in their newly established relationship. She nodded and did what he asked, turning her body around and straddling his waist.

Jellal palmed one side of Erza buttocks and pushed lightly, making her lean forward a little to leave a gap between their bodies. Erza steadied herself by grabbing Jellal's thighs. Jellal then slid his free hand through Erza's inner thighs and pressed two fingers against her slit through the damp panties. Erza sucked in a deep breath. Jellal started stroking her with his fingers sliding up and down along the lace barely covering her opening, drawing sighs out from her mouth. He soon felt his fingers being coated in Erza's juice, and slid them beneath her panties. Her lip-shaped folds against his fingers were slick and soft and warm, being more ready to welcomed his fingers in.

"Let me know if I hurt you."

"Okay." Erza breathed out the word.

Jellal slipped his fingers partially into Erza's folds first, giving her some time to adapt. When Erza gave him no sign of stop, he then inserted his fingers fully into her core. Erza uttered a cry; her inner walls spasmed as they were stretched by Jellal's intruded fingers more than she had ever done to herself with her own.

Jellal pulled his fingers out a little and thrust them back into Erza's tight core, and repeated the action. He spread and twisted his fingers every time he buried them deep inside of her, to explore and excite her sensitive spots. Erza moaned and mewled helplessly and her body trembled, and it didn't take long for her to start riding Jellal's fingers.

Jellal felt like he had been turned on again watching a lust-filled Erza fucking his fingers zealously. He could perfectly picture it was actually his cock but not his fingers which was filling Erza up and being hugged by her inner walls. His body was burning up, and his heartbeat was drumming against his chest echoing Erza's moans.

"Oh dear. More, Jellal. More." Erza gasped and her nails dug into Jellal's thighs as she tightened her hold on him.

Complying with her demand, Jellal added a third finger in thrusting Erza, and slid his hand on her buttock over her thigh to reach for the bundle of nerves at the top of her opening. He easily located it beneath the panties as it had already stuck out from her folds waiting to be touched. He pinched it between his fingertips, massaging it. The additional effort he made soon pushed Erza over the edge into ecstasy. She screamed his name and squeezed his hand between her thighs as she came on his fingers; her juice overflowed and left a trail along his palm to his wrist.

Jellal breathed deeply to slow down his erratically beating heart before he slid his fingers out Erza's core. Erza panted for air on top of him until she regained her breath, then she slid off him and lay down at his side.

Jellal turned his head to look at Erza and she, sensing his gaze, turned to look at him as well.

"I love you." They said at the same time, and both laughed softly at their perfect timing.

Jellal held Erza by her shoulder as he looked at her with a tender loving gaze. "You are the biggest miracle to ever happen in my life, Erza. I promise I'll cherish you as much as I can, and do my best to improve my physical conditions with whatever therapy or medicine which are considered useful."

Erza nodded her head with contentment; her eyes welled up with happy tears. "And I'll always walk by your side to support you, to love you. The road ahead of us may not be easy to walk, but we can do it."

"As long as there is love, am I right?"

"Absolutely." A heartfelt and satisfied smile spread across Erza's face. She then yawned as she finally felt consumed by the tiredness accumulated from all the things she had done in the day: taking hours of travel to find Jellal, confronting him first, persuading him next and finally having sex with him. She snuggled against Jellal's chest, closing her eyes. "But now, I simply want to take a nap with you, and also take a shower afterwards. Then we shall see what we should do next."

"Sure." Jellal kissed Erza on the forehead, before closing his eyes as well. "Rest as much as you need."

Having never felt as peaceful and as fulfilled in their hearts, they quickly fell into a sweet slumber.

~~~

You should have already known where I got this idea of Jellal being disabled and using wheelchair if you are in the fandom long enough but if you don’t, see this.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

exile

pairing: carter baizen x reader

warnings: angst & smut (18+)

a/n: this one has been in the working for a while. enjoy.

based off “exile” by taylor swift and “tightrope” from the greatest showman

I think I’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending, you’re not my hometown anymore so what I’m defending now? You were my town now i’m in exile seeing you out. I think I’ve seen this film before ...

The music was softly loud in a manner that one could only describe as annoying for conversation starts. Women dressed in the newest gowns straight of the catwalk and men tied up into various shades of suits. People walked around carrying trays of expensive champagne and every corner of the room seemed to have an ice sculpture everywhere. Everything was splendid and wondrous but Carter was much more interested in the figure leaned against the marbled column. Hair pulled up and held by several golden pins, skin decorated in white ruffled fabric descending up to her knees, matching heels on her feet as a key shaped necklace hanged from her neck.  She was like a vision of time, an hallucination of a memory that was long, long gone. She was gone but near and Carter couldn’t help but feel all his pride slowly slip away from him.

If there was a woman who could say she had held his heart, it was Y/N. She was the daughter of one of his father’s friends, a partner and share owner in most of the law firms around New York, and a French socialite. She carried herself with the elegance and innocence that no Upper East Sider had and Carter had been hopelessly enamoured with her. How could he not? He could still close his eyes and see her, he could the very first time he met her, his mother surrounded by other ladies at tea laughing about new founded gossip but there she was, sat in the chair swirling the platinum spoon on the warm liquid of her tea cup. 

She always found a way to make him laugh, she could always find a way to make him feel like he wasn’t as shallow as he thought he was. Carter loved her the way he could love no other woman but he had to let her go. Her father clearly wasn’t found of having his only child, his precious daughter, dating an ex gambling addict with a bad reputation, and as such he sent her away. She had asked him to help her, she didn’t want to go somewhere alone but he didn’t. At the end of the day he knew he would eventually break her heart. He had tried writing her but every letter he wrote her came back, unopened. He wondered why she was back, out of all places she had decided to go to Columbia. She hated New York, she always hated the fake plastered smiles and the ambitions her parents had for her, she hated the noise and would much enjoy to run away to the Hamptons during Autumn and Winter. Carter still remembers driving down to the Hamptons near twilight to find her laying on top of an old blanket. It was tattooed on his brain, the serene look on her face as she pulled onto the worn out sleeves of a sweatshirt she had purposely bought oversized. Sadly, alongside with that memory was the memory of him driving away from her home, leaving before she could even notice. 

       - Carter. - he turned around at the mention of his name, an old lady stood in front of him whom he could swore was Y/N’s grandmother. Or, at least, the one she enjoyed to speak about. - I didn’t know you were in town. 

       - Sister’s getting married.

       - My congratulations to Caroline. - she smiled. - Oh, have you met my granddaughter? She should be here somewhere here. 

Carter was going to refuse meeting a granddaughter he already knew a bit too well, at least better than her father would’ve liked, but the woman had a death like grip on his tailor velvet black suit and was already walking him Y/N’s way. His throat ran dry and he felt his body fill with static like feelings as she turned around at her grandmother’s request. There, at the sight of her face beautifully and delicately preserved in time with little to no signs of time pulling on the skin, he felt like he was the old type of man, ready to drop everything at the belief that someone was made just for him. She stared at him as if she had seen a ghost, a dead being which had never left her but that she was only noticing now. 

Second, third, and hundredth chances, balancin' on breaking branches. Those eyes add insult to injury. I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending. I'm not your problem anymore so who am I offending now? You were my crown now I'm in exile seein' you out. I think I've seen this film before so I'm leavin' out the side door

The parties were always the same no matter how much time had passed. The glittering chandeliers and fake smiles for seeing someone whom they hadn’t seen in ages and could barely remember the name. Lily van der Woodsen had been the one to host the party, insisting to Y/N’s mother she should attend as a way to get to know some of Columbia’s students but there was no one that Y/N didn’t already know. She had gone to Constance for a few years until her father decided she was clearly going through a dark path. A dark path named Carter Baizen.

Last she’d heard of him he was doing some humanitarian documentary work but others perceived him as more of a intense gambler rather than the portrait of humanitarian. Other than that, she’d never seen him since she was 17 going on 18 on his car listening to his favourite bands and discussing running away. After her father sent her to Connecticut for boarding school for her companies with the eldest Baizen child, she didn’t hear from him ever again. 

As she sipped on her second glass of champagne, she heard her grandmother’s voice booming which made her turn around to see the last person she’d ever expect to see. Once again, she was merely a young girl waited on the steps of her apartment, constantly checking the watch for a man that never came. Things were never clear but looking at him, looking into those eyes only added salt to a wound which had never healed and was instead covered through layers and layers of “You’ll be alright”.

      - This is my Y/N. She’s gonna be a human rights lawyer, we’re so proud of her. - her grandmother poured out love and pride in her voice, something Carter definitely didn’t use to hear from her own mother. - Y/N, this is Carter Baizen. He’s Caroline’s brother, you two went together to Constance. Do you remember?

     - We’ve met before. - there was a sort of icy softness to her voice, no longer the honeyed, happy sound she used to speak in whenever they would walk down the Upper East. No, this was cold, almost as if she had surrounded herself by walls yet soft as if she was still able to show the cracks in her armour. Heaviness settled in him, looking at her, looking at the one he would dub as the one who got away. She didn’t get away, he went away. 

    - I should go check on the other guests. - her grandmother excused herself leaving the ex almost lovers staring at each other through mirrors of past distorted memories. 

    - I didn’t know you were at Columbia. - he grabbed one of the passing glasses of champagne, not entirely sure of what to say. He never knew what to say near her but this time, this time he knew nothing he could say would made up for what he did. 

    - Brown isn’t what I had in mind so I transferred after I finished my first year. Dad thought Columbia would be a good fit. - she stood too far from him, further than he’d like. She used to always be so close, so close he could smell her vanilla and honey perfume, so close he could feel the fabric of her clothing against his hands. Close enough to consider kissing her but that was no longer the case, she was far and her heart was locked. - What about you Carter? Last I heard you were in Machu Picchu. 

   - My uncle got me an chief financial officer job at his company in London. Been spending some time with Serena but I’m mostly here for Carolines’ wedding.

   - Serena? She was at the same boarding school as me. Didn’t know you two were close. 

   - I guess you could say we are close. On and off.

Her curious facade fell as the corner of her lips almost falling into a frown. She didn’t know what to feel if anger or sadness but as a tray passed by, she set down her half full glass on the silver tray before mumbling “excuse me”. She moved through the crowds of people with her hand in front of her eyes, strangled cry in her throat.

   - Y/N, wait. - he followed her, he followed her like he should’ve done years ago. He chase her up the stairs of the van der Woodsen residence, knowing it like the palm of his hand, however she was still faster than him and rushed over to the small balcony on their guest bedroom, stomach hitting the metal railings which adorned the small outside place. - Y/N!

So step right out, there is no amount of cryin' I can do for you. All this time, we always walked a very thin line. You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out), you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs). All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind). I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) ...

    - I really don’t want to speak to you. - she let the tears flow down her face in silence, regretting how her mind seemed to show her images of the times when things were clearer. Times when they would just be kids joking around in central park or times when she would purposely let her hand wander, hoping he would grab it but he never did. The times she would look him into the eyes for longer than usual, hoping he would try to kiss her, but he never did. 

    - C’mon, dove. - he walking up to her but she moved away.

   - Don’t call me that. - she punctuated every single word as if he had offended her. 

   - Why are you upset? 

   - Why am I upset? - she lifted her head, streaks of black mascara rushing down her face. She’d been here before, she’d been disappointed before and she didn’t like it so why was she here again? Why didn’t she just ignore him and went back into the carefully constructed world she had built for herself. - You always told me you were afraid of commitments, that you didn’t want to be shackled down to anyone and I understood it. I understood it and stood by you and waited, waited for things to change and you ... you just weren’t worth it. You wasted my time only to get on a relationship with Serena out of all people. You just weren’t worth it. 

It stung, it stung worse than anything he’d ever felt before. He wasn’t worth it, he just wasn’t worth it and he knew it. What he didn’t know and was still processing as if he was living some twisted dream was her words. She waited, he knew she had waited for him but he didn’t know what else she had waited for. Suddenly all those fall nights in the beach where she would fall asleep on his shoulder, trying to pull her out of revision sessions after she started crying due to stress, her pretending to let him win whenever they played poker. She had waited and she was right he wasn’t worth it. 

   - Why Serena? - she questioned, heart heavy with emotions too ugly for her to even let unfold. 

   - I don’t know. 

   - Do you wanna know how long I waited for you on those stairs? - he wanted to say no, he didn’t want to remember it, he didn’t want to think of it. - I waited for 5 hours, I waited as long as I could until my parents shoved me on that train because of you. You didn’t write or ...

   - I wrote you everyday. - he still had those letters, stacked on top of his wardrobe in England wrapped in the red string she used to wear around her hair like a headband and had left in his drawer during a particular cold day. He thought he should’ve burn them years and years ago, let it go but something stopped him. The mere thought of her just touching the letters stopped him from discarding them, from burning the only thing which was still hers. - You sent back each and every letter. 

   - I never got any letter from you. - she wanted to scream at him for using his lines, his tricks on her. - Stop lying to me.

   - I wrote to you everyday for two years. - he grabbed her arm, impeding her from leaving this time. As if this simple act could make up the biggest mistake of his life. - I wrote to you every day and when I stopped having any words I wrote down all your favourite love letters. After two years, I thought ... I thought you probably had someone and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. 

   - You wrote to me? - she softened, almost as if she couldn’t believe his words. Her mother definitely would’ve told her not to believe him, “the Baizen’s have a way with words, no wonder they have a publicity and ad agency” and her father would send her straight to Brown if he even dared to dream his precious and only daughter was back with the man he had sent her away from. Her inhibitions fell like a castle of cards and blew away as she stared at the man whom she had loved since she was fifteen and had last seen at seventeen years old. She should know better, she was three years older, no longer innocently in love with the older boy from St. Judes. She should know better, she should know better but she didn’t and looking into his eyes and then his lips she decided to do something she shouldn’t.

Placing on herself on her tippy toes, she held his shoulders and leaned her lips against his. Carter immediately grabbed her, afraid she would slip away or that she was some fragment of his drunk imagination but no, she was here. As he held her close to his body, lips moving in such a synch it could be describe as symphony like, he could feel her, he could feel her warmth, the ruffles of her dress against his fingers. No, she was here. She was here. 

The two of them stumbled backwards into the guest bedroom, too heated in their minds to care about the fact the door was unlocked. His hands came up to the straps which held her dress to her body, ripping it off her and leaving her in a probably too expensive white lacy lingerie with a tiny jewel in the middle of her chest. He was too worried to feel her, to kiss her to even look at her racy form, ever so beautifully revealing. Her finger danced over his jacket, pushing it off him. He helped her discard of the jacket, throwing it somewhere in the room and thus interrupting the kiss. She laid against the expensive Egyptian cotton sheets, and that’s when he first took a good look at her. The lingerie looked tailor made, almost glued like a second skin, enhancing her bossom which he only wanted to lay his face on. His lips were partially open, hair broken open from its confines and sprawled all over the white sheets. Fuck, she was a vision.

He climbed atop her, eyes fully darkened with lust as he stood over her before leaning to kiss her again, hand pushing on the back her knee and caressing the skin of her thigh. His other hand came to her back, releasing the strap which held the garment in place. He was just a simple pull away from seeing it, from seeing her in what he only dreamed off in drunk nights. He didn’t want to pull it away just yet, he wanted to look at her and look he did. There was so many things he wanted to do to her but right now he just wanted to bask in her intimacy but she was not interested in that, trembling hands coming to unbutton his white shirt, pushing it down his arms. His once soft skin was now defined, no longer the 18 year old he was but someone whom she would thought to be out a men’s health magazine. Her hands moved through his chest, feeling the ridges and scars of time that had laid there before they lowered to the zipper of his trousers.

    - No, dove. - he grabbed her hands in his, putting them above her head and holding them there. - No, let me take care of you. 

He started to kiss her neck, starting at right at the end of her ear down to her collarbones and up to the start of her breast where skin meet the lace of her lingerie. Slowly, he pushed the garment off her, mouth lowering to take her nipple in between his lips. The girl let out a soft moan, hand tangling in his polished hair as changed attentions to her other breast sucking hard enough to leave marks. She wanted his marks. She wanted to bare them, to do the wrong thing. He moved from her chest down to her navel, making her moan at the lack of teasing until he got too close to her mound. He looked up to her, devilish spark in his eyes.

    - Tell me, dove. How well did they fuck you in boarding school?

   - I will if you tell me how well you fucked Serena.

   - Oh, dove ... are you jealous? - his eyes flickered with a sense of wild pride he couldn’t explain. Her moved up, licking his lips before kissing her jaw. - Don’t be jealous, my little dove. I thought of you every time I fucked her.

His fingers moved inside of her all her making her hold onto his neck, pushing him onto the space between her neck and shoulder. He smiled, biting onto the plump skin while he pressed his fingers deeper into her heat. His fingers moved in and out of her, slowly, teasingly, pushing sweet yet pornographic sounds from her as he hit that perfect spot. His thumb rubbed abstract-like figures on her hardening clit, putting her in a hypnotising-like state which made her reply to each and every move he had.

     - Fuck ... coming here to the Upper East in that little cocktail of yours. You’re all grown up aren’t you, dove? Fuck, I missed you. - he pressed his thumb harder on her climb, kissing from the spot he had just bitten to her shoulder, only to bite it too. That sure would leave a mark her daddy would love to see, oh he surely would love to. - Are you close, dove? 

     - Carter ... - she moaned in want, feeling that familiar knot only she could cause herself starting to tighten. 

     - You’re so fucking stunning. - he rose his head from her shoulder, crashing his lips against hers and his fingers keep moving in and out at a now faster pace. She breathed in and out, letting out sounds which only incentivised him to keep going, small smile on his lips as he keep kissing her, teeth grazing at her bottom lip. She could feel the knot tighten until it suddenly released, having her moan against his lips as the sound turned into pure static energy. - Aren’t you a stunner? Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, dove. 

She could barely move her head, still recovering from her orgasm as he left her lips to pull down her zipper. Looking up as well as she could, she watched him remove his formal trousers along with his underwear revealing his sizeable member. Mindlessly, she bite her lip, smirking through her daze as he pumped himself a couple of times, pre-cum gathering at the red tip of his member. 

    - You’re not a good girl at all, are you dove? - he questioned in a teasing manner before returning to top her, grabbing her hands once more and holding them tight above her head. He ran the tip of his member up and down her slit, collecting the wetness from her former orgasm. - Come on, dove. Tell me, tell me you’re mine. 

    - I ... I’m y...yours. - she spoke through the breathlessness that he seemed to naturally caused in her not expecting the harsh thrusting to begin as soon as those words exited her mouth. He held her hands thightly, thrusting into her in and out with little to no gentleness. He couldn’t do gentle and she didn’t want him to do so, relishing as he seemed to hit her g-spot which sent her eyes rolling to the back of her head. - Carter, I’m yours.

   - I fucking know, dove. I know. - he said through his teeth, growling at the way her pussy milked him in such a way he needed more self control than ever. He continued with no relent, free hand coming to rub her nub which made her lose whatever inhibitions she had left. She was putty in his hands, moaning mindlessly without a care in the world. 

   - I’m gonna cum. - she cried out, turning her head to the side as he leaned to kiss her neck, noticing how hard it was becoming to ignore how she was milking him. Few more thrusts and she came crashing from the high she had been in since the start, moaning his name out loud as he growled before collapsing to her side, not wanting to hurt her. She let out a shaky breathe, feeling him cum drip out of her and onto the sheets. This surely was no house guest etiquette but she really wasn’t in the mood to care.

He turned his head to look at her, sweat dripping from her forehead and gluing the hairs close to it to her skin as her chest went up and down trying to calm down her heart rate. She was surely a sight. He carefully threw an arm over her, pushing her flush with his body before kissing the top of her head. 

    - I’m so sorry. - he blurted out, not sure what to say, how to apologise for things that were long gone. - I’m so sorry.

    - Just stay this time. - she kissed the palm of his hand. - Just stay. 

   - I will, dove. I promise.

[lelitachay]

Frozen fanfiction: Søsken

Summary: An accident in the North mountain forces Elsa to spend several weeks in her brother’s apartment under Anna’s care. And during this time, Anna begins to notice there are peculiar things about Elsa’s life she wished she could understand. Everything starts to make sense after a family reunion.

Modern AU. Kristanna - Frohana - Kristoff & Elsa BrOTP. Chapters 1 to 10 - Here   Chapters 11 to 20 - Here Chapter 21 - What to do Chapter 22 - What’s there to lose? Chapter 23 - Seek the truth Chapter 24 - An abrupt end Chapter 25 - A fresh start

-

A promising future

Anna turned her head around and tried to peek into the living room. She wanted to see her mother's face but the door frame was annoyingly blocking her view. Her mother had asked to be left alone while she read Elsa's letter. And for that reason, she and her father had to go into the kitchen to wait for her. To Anna's dismay, her mother was taking way longer than she imagined to finish reading the letter, putting her patience to the test.

She leant against the back of the chair, hoping to rock it just enough to see her mother for a second. At least, enough to try and guess if the content of the letter was either good or bad by her mother's expressions. She was finally able to see the armchair and her mother's hand holding the letter, when the voice of her father startled her. "Stop spying on your mother," said Agdar, almost making her fall.

"I wasn't- I'm not…" She tried in vain to explain, but Agdar's amused expression let her see he didn't believe a word of it. Sighing in defeat, she confessed, "I'm just curious."

"I am too," he admitted as he walked towards the kitchen table. "But as you said, that letter belongs to Idunn. We should let her read it in peace."

"She could read faster." Anna knew she sounded like the impatient child she had once been, but she couldn't help it. Ever since she found out she had an older sister; she had hoped for her family to be reunited again. At least, for just one night. Long enough for her parents and sister to talk things through. She simply couldn't wait anymore. She needed to know if Elsa was willing to make her dream come true.

Agdar laughed and sat down in the opposite chair. Once he was properly seated, he handed her one of the two tea cups he had brought with him. “Here.” 

“Thank you,” answered Anna with a small smile. The way her father returned the smile made her feel guilty for the things she had said to him only an hour earlier. It was true she had been mad at her father’s reprimands for not being present at dinner, but it didn’t justify her behaviour. The last thing she wanted was to be on bad terms with him, even if part of her still believed he could have done things differently in the past.

Agdar cleared his throat, calling Anna's attention for a second time. “I didn't choose the company over your sister," said Agdar, as if he had read her mind. He took a sip from his tea and continued, “You may not believe me, but I swear I didn't.”

Guilt washed over Anna once again, and she thought it was best if she learnt once and for all to think before she talked. "Dad, I didn't mean to-”

“Let me finish,” he asked. “I'm aware my decisions have hurt your sister and our family in many ways. But please, don't ever think Elsa was second best." His eyes were focused on the cup he was holding, but Anna knew he was thinking about the past. "I was so happy when your mother told me she was pregnant. I'm sure I cried when I held Elsa in my arms for the first time. Same with you," he clarified. "The two of you put my world upside down by just existing."

"We did?" Her father was a loving man, though he seldom expressed it orally.

"Of course. You mean the world to me." He looked her in the eye and smiled. "It broke my heart to leave Elsa behind. Truth is, we had run out of ideas. We couldn't take care of her, Anna. And to be honest… I–" Agdar sighed, stopping himself mid-sentence.

Something told Anna he was having second thoughts about talking about his past once again. And even if Anna was trying hard to remain calm, her father's overprotection usually drove her mad. "Not sharing things is what put us in this situation to begin with. What happened?"

"I didn't trust my father."

"What?" The sadness in her father's voice surprised her. She wasn't sure what he was going to say, but that certainly was not it.

"My father was a strange man. Full of anger and resentment," he said. "All he cared about was power."

"Power?"

"Money and social recognition, mostly. Sadly, everything he considered an obstacle to his ambition was something that should be taken care of — gotten rid of." The way he wrung his hands showed Anna he was nervous about sharing the truth. He even seemed ashamed of his father's actions. "I feared Elsa would become an obstacle in his eyes. You should have seen the way he looked at me when I told him she existed…"

"Did you tell him about–?"

"Her powers?" he interrupted. "No. I wanted to see how he reacted to the news that she existed first…” He took a sip of his tea and said, “not to tell him was the right call. To this day, I don't know what he would have done to Elsa if he had known."

Father and daughter stayed silent for a while, not knowing what to say. Anna could see a mixture of relief and guilt in her father's eyes. It was clear he had wanted to tell her about Runeard for a long time. "I never thought grandfather was like that."

"I respected him, but I guess it was a respect born out of fear." He looked at the mug in his hands once again, avoiding Anna's gaze. "I never truly loved him. Not the way I love you, your sister and your mother."

The way he included Elsa in the list didn't go unnoticed by Anna, who smiled at the fact her parents were, little by little, trying to make Elsa part of the family once again. "I can't imagine myself in your situation. I love you and mum so much."

"I guess we receive the love we give."

In a subtle way, Agdar said what she had been wondering since the conversation started. Runeard had never shown him love. At least not in the way a good loving father should.

"You know, Anna," Agdar said, calling her attention once again. "When Elsa was born, I promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistakes my father did. I said I wouldn't raise my child to fear me. I wanted her to love me and respect me. I also promised to do everything in my power to give her a good future…”

Anna could only imagine how much Agdar regretted ever leaving Elsa behind. She could hear the guilt in his voice as he spoke.

“I failed Elsa terribly, and there isn't a day I don't beat myself over it. I made a similar promise the day you were born. This time, I swore I wouldn't leave you alone. I also promised to let you follow your own path.” He grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. “Sometimes I feel I'm failing you too. I'm sorry if I let my workaholic nature get in the way. I'm sorry if I'm too overbearing about the business too.”

Anna held his hand a little tighter in return and offered him a smile. “I don't think you've ever failed me, dad. You've always been there for me. And you were the first person to tell me I should follow a career in education if that's what I wanted.” She took a deep breath and hoped her father wouldn’t ask too many questions about the previous night. “Last night was my fault, something unfair happened to Marshall and I thought he could use my help. That’s the reason I was late and I’m sorry. I did say I'd be here, I should've kept my promise…” 

“What exactly happened last night?”

“Well, you see… It's a long story.” She had no idea how to explain she had tried to stop Marshall from smashing Hans face, only for her to end up knocking him out. “Marshall’s a private person and-”

“It's fine,” Agdar interrupted, giving her the easy way out. “You don't need to tell me. I trust you made the right choice.”

“That I did.” She looked at her foundation covered knuckles and smiled to herself.

“Tell me… Should I be concerned?”

“Concerned?”

“You mentioned this Marshall fellow is Elsa's friend and I-”

She gaped already knowing where her father was going. “No. No. I won't let you do this,” she said, pointing an accusatory finger in her father’s direction. “You almost freaked Kristoff out when we started dating. I won't let freak Marshall out.”

“So, they are together.”  

“No, they are not. Though, I'm rooting for Marshall.”

“He looked like he had been involved in a fight recently,” he said, serious about the situation. 

She rolled her eyes, annoyed by her father’s overprotection. “Leave the man alone, dad.”

“Elsa's been through a lot in her life. I won't let a hooligan get anywhere near her.” 

For a moment, Anna wondered if had said anything that could make her father think Marshall a hooligan, but the memories of the day he met Kristoff came to mind. “Marshall’s not a hooligan. The same way Kristoff was not one either- Are you listening to yourself right now?”

“Does Kristoff approve of him? Kristoff's a sensible man in that regard.”

“Leave the man alone.”

Resting his chin on one of his fists, he asked, “What's his last name, again?”

“Dad, I'm serious.” For a moment Anna thought her father had finally lost it, when she noticed a playful smirk drew on his face. “You were being annoying on purpose, weren’t you?”

Agdar’s and Anna’s playful smiles were short-lived however. Idunn entered the kitchen with red, puffy eyes which were hard for them to ignore.

“Idunn?”

“Mum? What's wrong?” 

They both asked, almost instantly; and soon after they shared a worried look.

“Everything’s okay,” she assured them. “I'm a little overwhelmed, that’s all.”

“So…” said Anna once her mother took a seat between them both. “Did she say anything? Will she give you guys a second chance?”

“She doesn't say.”

Agdar’s disappointment was obvious when he asked, “what did she write about?”

“I wrote about our past in my letters, and I asked her to share hers with me…” Idunn explained.

“And, did she…?”

She shook her head. “Not the past you're thinking about. She doesn't mention anything about Romsdal or the time she spent inside the clinic. She wrote about Kristoff and the Bjorgmans, instead.”

Anna smiled at that, at least she was certain Elsa hadn’t had a hard time writing the letter. She understood perfectly well why her sister had avoided more serious topics.

“She talks about the day she met Kristoff and everything they did together - how they became friends,” Idunn continued. “She then jumps to the day she was officially adopted by the Bjorgmans.”

“She doesn't mention Weselton at all?” asked Agdar, clearly as interested as Anna in the content of the letter.

“I think she avoided it on purpose,” she said. “Maybe Gerda's right, maybe she's pretending it didn't happen.”

That last comment called Anna’s attention, but she didn’t say anything. After all, she knew her parents had met the Bjorgmans a couple of times. It wasn’t a surprise they had shared their worries with her parents. 

“Do you think so?” Agdar said, being unable to hide the concern from his voice.

Looking at the different pages of the letter in her hand, Idunn explained, “she avoids talking about it. She jumps from one topic to the other… It's as if she picked certain parts of her childhood and mixed them together in a way she doesn't mention Romsdal nor the clinic at all.”

“It hurts too much,” Anna said, surprising even herself. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the words had slipped from her mouth faster than she could stop them. 

“What?” her parents asked, looking at her.

Anna had mentioned Elsa’s mental breakdown, but she hadn’t talked to them about her past. Elsa had opened up in a moment of weakness and stress, and Anna thought it was wrong to share what she had said to her. But now that she had her parents’ attention, she couldn’t pretend she didn’t know some parts of it. “It hurts too much,” she chose to say. “If I were Elsa, I wouldn't like talking about it either.” 

“You know about her past?” The answer to the question was quite obvious, but Agdar asked it anyway. 

“The night she found Kai's petition, she seemed terrified of facing Weselton again. I saw her so distressed, I had to ask about it. I was lucky she told me…” Anna sighed as she tried to find the right words to explain it. Finding none, she said, “It's- it's bad.”

Idunn and Agdar shared a painful look. “Gerda and Kai told us about it,” said Idunn. “They didn't know all the details, but… Well, they met her right after she was found. Her health condition gave them a clear idea of what she went through.”

Anna grimaced, not once she had stopped to think about the aftermath of everything her sister went through. The way Elsa had explained Gerda and Kai had rescued her had made it seem everything was okay after it. But now, Anna could only wonder how much time it had taken Elsa to recover from her time in Weselton’s hands. Shaking her head, she uselessly tried to erase the idea of Elsa in a hospital bed.

“What did she tell you?” Agdar asked her.

“It's not my place to tell you really – not that she told me everything about it either. But I think she should be the one to talk about it with you. At her own time. I guess only Elsa can say what really happened.” Anna wasn’t trying to be mysterious, she hadn’t liked when Kristoff did the same to her; but she truly believed it was best for Elsa to be the one to share her past with their parents, if she ever wanted to.

Idunn’s sigh drew Anna’s attention back at her. “She must have been so scared. So lonely,” her mother said. And not for the first time, Anna wondered how much the guilt of leaving Elsa behind was going to affect her mother. 

“What else did she tell you?” asked Agdar once again. This time, he was pointing at the letter in Idunn’s hands. “In her letter, I mean.”

"Mainly stories about her days with Kristoff. She also told me about a book, which was her favourite. She couldn't read at the time so she doesn't know its name. She said she was hoping I may have an idea." A smile appeared on Idunn's face and Anna felt more at ease knowing Elsa had really tried to establish some sort of relationship with their mother.

"The one she transcribed?" asked Anna, already knowing the answer. Elsa must have truly loved that book.

"That's the one!" Idunn exclaimed, happily. "I wish I could see her transcription. Does she still have it?"

"She never said." Anna thought it was funny how she had never thought of asking Elsa about it. Maybe the drawings could help them realise which book she was talking about.

"You could ask Helga," offered Agdar. "The owner of the bookshop two blocks from here. She can always help you, even with the briefest description of a story."

"You should definitely ask her, mum." Anna was certain her mother would do everything she could to find the book.

Idunn nodded with a smile and looked at the different pages again until she found the part where Elsa described the book. She put it aside as a reminder.

"She didn't say anything else?"

It was clear her father wanted to find out as much as possible about Elsa, and that fact made Anna truly happy. Her parents hadn't lied about loving and wanting to get to know Elsa once again. She hoped Elsa could see that side of them and actually realise how much they cared.

"She talked about Gerda and Kai too," answered Idunn, unaware of Anna's excitement. "She enjoyed getting to know them and becoming part of their family, even if at the beginning she felt like an intruder in their house. She talks a lot about them, actually. It's clear she loves them."

"She once said to me they're her heroes," said Anna.

"It's good to know she found a good family after everything she went through," Agdar said honestly.

Idunn nodded with a smile. Looking at the letter once again, she tried to order the pages before offering it to Anna. "Would you like to read some of her stories? There's one about Kristoff's old truck that you'd like."

"Are you serious?! Kristoff always avoids talking about his old truck! Give me that."

Idunn handed her the letter, and even though she was excited about Elsa's stories, she couldn't hide her disappointment when she first looked at the content of the letter. "Oh, Elsa…"

"What? What is it?" asked Idunn, worried she had missed something important.

"This handwriting is terrible even for her standards. I guess she must have written it in a hurry." Anna gave the rest of the pages a quick look and sighed tiredly. "This is messy as hell."

"Let me see that," said Agdar, curious to finally see Elsa's disastrous handwriting.  "Oh… No wonder you took more than an hour to read this."

"She apologises about her handwriting at the end," Idunn was quick to say, trying to justify Elsa's work. "She says she's trying to learn and improve. The two of you should be more understanding. Especially you, Anna."

"Oh, please, she always avoids practicing her handwriting all the time. She's just being lazy," laughed Anna. She knew perfectly well Elsa hadn't tried to improve one bit in the last few months. If Anna was honest, she was starting to believe her sister's handwriting was beyond saving.

---

Idunn smiled at Anna's eagerness to read Elsa's letter. She was happy her youngest daughter had not only found someone like Kristoff to share her life with, but also had found her long lost sister. Even if things with Elsa didn't work out and she never forgave them, at least Idunn could rest assured her girls could enjoy each other's company.

Once Anna became absorbed in the stories Elsa had to tell, Idunn turned to her husband. Agdar looked happy and peaceful, and she felt bad for ruining his good mood, but she needed to share what Elsa had also explained in the letter; even if it hurt him.

"She was there, Agdar," she said all of a sudden, calling his attention. It was best to let him know.

"What?"

"The day we visited the orphanage here in Trolheim. She was there." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "They lied to us so we wouldn't find her."

Agdar looked at her for a minute, not uttering a word. Idunn was beginning to think he hadn't really understood her when he asked, "are you sure?" 

She confirmed the bad news with a nod of her head. "She says it herself."

"Do you mean this?" Anna said, surprising both of them. Before Idunn could pay a look at the letter, Anna began reading… 

"When I was eight I was living in Trolheim's orphanage. I can't be sure, but I guess I was there when you and Agdar went looking for me. I re-read your letters. I wrote down the dates you mentioned. I counted the years… It all adds up. I wish the nurses would have said something. I was so lonely at the time. I would have given anything to meet you. No-one knew I existed; and those who did, didn't care about me.

I'm thankful Kristoff found me around that time though. For some reason I cannot understand, Kristoff did care and he stayed by my side until the day he was adopted… "

A bang startled mother and daughter, who turned to look at Agdar who had hit the table with his fist.

"They fucking lied!" He yelled. "Right in our faces. We were desperately looking for our missing daughter and they lied. They forced us to stop looking. I can't believe this!"

Idunn tried to grab his hand to calm him down, but he stood up before she had the chance.

He walked a few steps away from the table and began pacing as he covered his face with his hands. "How could I've been so stupid – so gullible! Weselton and those 'caregivers' need to rot in hell."

"Calm down, Agdar."

"No. They will rot in hell. I'll make sure of it!" he yelled once again, not paying attention to his wife.

"We won't get involved, Agdar. And that's final." She knew he wasn't going to take the news lightly, for that reason she had tried to tell him the good things Elsa had shared with her.

He stopped pacing to look at her with a painful expression. "Idunn, she was there. Elsa was a few walls away from us! Don't tell me you're okay with this!"

Trying hard to remain calm, Idunn took a deep breath that she hoped could help Agdar calm down too. "Of course I'm not okay with this, Agdar. But I won't go against Elsa's wishes. Too many people have already done that…"

He opened his mouth to argue, but he closed it. It was clear he agreed with her in that regard, but still his anger was palpable. "I just wish for them to pay," he said in a low voice.

Idunn could only agree with him, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she looked at Anna and reassured her they were not going to do anything stupid.

---

Kristoff sighed as he climbed the stairs to his apartment after a long day. The last thing he had wanted to do that day was to work, but to his dismay his boss had called him soon after he had picked his truck in the early morning. He had apologised to a sleepy Elsa, and he had left in a hurry.

What he had hoped to be a short working day, had stretched and became an even-longer-than-usual day. He was exhausted; and what was worse, he hadn't been able to spend the previous night nor that morning with his sister. But at least, his boss had rewarded him with an off-day the following day.

As he opened the door, he wondered why Sven wasn't barking or jumping all over him, but he soon realised why. Against all odds, his sister had decided to stay in the city.

"Elsa?" he said, calling her attention. "What are you doing?"

Elsa looked around herself and then at Sven, who was by her side, before finally asking, "Setting the table?"

"I mean here!" said Kristoff with a smile. 

"Did you have plans? I can leave if your friends are coming." 

"You don't need to go anywhere," said Kristoff patiently, though he already wanted to smack her in the head. "And you know I wouldn't kick you out if my drunkard friends were coming. I didn't expect you to be here, that's all. I thought you had gone back to the mountain."

"I decided to stay and visit mum and dad. I wanted to have dinner with them but they had plans," she answered with a shrug. "So, I thought it was a good opportunity to have dinner together."

"Mum told you no? That's hard to believe." It wasn't a secret his mother had soft spot for Elsa after all.

"They had the anual dinner at the police station," Elsa explained while she arranged the dishes.

He left his jacket on the couch and walked to the kitchen ready to ask his sister what she had ordered, when he realised the stove was on and a tempting smell was coming from the pot. "Did you- did you cook dinner?"

"I tried. I hope it tastes as good as it smells."

Elsa seemed proud of her achievement, that was clear. The fact her food didn't smell like a burning building was in itself a miracle. "You cooked dinner."

"Don't start," she warned.

He looked inside the pot and was surprised to see a mouth-watering stew. In all their years together as brother and sister, Elsa had never been able to cook something that could be considered tempting, and Kristoff was not going to miss the opportunity to make fun of her. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" 

Elsa pushed him to the side so she could have access to the food. "Stop goofing around and hand me those bowls."

"What did you cook?" Stew was the obvious answer, but it didn't look or smell like Gerda's typical.

"Hunter's stew."

"Where did you learn to cook that?"

"Just a recipe I found…"

Kristoff could hear the hesitation in his sister's voice. She wasn't being completely honest, but he had no idea why. "You aren't trying to poison me, are you?"

"Shut up and eat your food," said Elsa as she pushed the hot bowl against his chest.

"Alright, alright!" He laughed and sat down in his usual place. He took a cautious first bite. It didn't matter how much he loved his sister, he could never be careful enough while trying food she had made herself. This time, however, the food was the complete opposite of what he was expecting. It wasn't the best dish he had ever tried, it wasn't even in the top twenty. But the fact it tasted good and it wasn't burnt was in itself a great achievement. "Unbelievable."

"What?" asked Elsa, worried she had messed up once again.

"This is edible."

"You're an arse."

Kristoff laughed loudly, making fun of her was too easy at times. "It's a compliment."

"Sure, tell Anna she doesn't look hideous one day. I'm sure she'll love the compliment." She sat down and took a bite herself. A small smile drew on her face, for the first time in forever her food wasn't a total waste.

"I'm messing with you," said Kristoff with a smile of his own when he noticed how pleased his sister was with the dish she had made. "Thank you. I know you hate cooking, it means a lot you took the time to cook something for me. A warm meal was all I needed."

"I wanted to thank you for last night."

He looked at her with a curious expression. “Thank me?”

She played with her food as she tried to find the right words. “I know you hate fights and getting involved in them. You helped Marshmallow last night in spite of that.”

He tried not to read too much into Elsa’s gratitude. He was sure if Anna were there with them, she’d be making several conjectures about Elsa and Marshall’s relationship; but he was not going to. If his sister ever felt something for the mountaineer, he was sure he’d be the first person to find out. “I guess what Hans did to him was unfair,” said Kristoff . “Anna getting involved herself had a lot to do too.”

“He feels awful for dragging you and Anna into it. He said he'll try to repay you.”

“Tell him I appreciate the feeling, but all I want is for him to be more level-headed next time. I won't tolerate him yelling at you for his problems ever again.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about Marshall if he were honest. It was true he didn’t like him at the beginning, but with time Kristoff had realised the big guy didn’t have ulterior motives and he seemed to honestly care about Elsa. But the previous night, his concerns had returned. It was clear Marshall wasn’t himself when he got angry. “Tell me, Elsa, do you trust the guy?”

Elsa stopped eating and raised an eyebrow. “Of course I do.”

“Aren't you afraid of him?” Noticing the worry in his sister’s face he clarified, “I'm not saying he's a bad guy, it's just- he's even stronger than he seems. The guy's unstoppable. And he clearly can’t control his anger.”

“He once told me he has problems controlling his anger,” Elsa admitted. “He asked me to try and keep him grounded anyway I could if he ever lost his temper around me. I didn't think much of it at the time.”

Elsa’s explanation did nothing to calm his nerves. How could she stay so calm around a man like him. “You’re not doing a good job convincing me I shouldn’t be concerned, sister.”

Contrary to what he expected, a small smile appeared on his sister’s face. “Last night I understood what you and Gerda have been trying to explain to me all these years. I can't blame myself – or Marshall in this case – for things we can't control. Marshall has anger management problems, but he tries hard to be a better person. I see guilt written on his face whenever he realises he has lost control…”

Kristoff gaped at his sister and all of a sudden understood her reasons. It didn’t take a genius to see why Elsa could relate so much with him.

“I see no reason not to trust him,” she concluded with a shrug. “You trusted me from the start, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… I did.” He felt like an idiot for not giving his sister more credit. After all, she was his shitty people detector, it was ridiculous not to trust her in this situation too. “Anna mentioned something similar last night. She said not helping Marshall would be like not helping you. Needless to say, it changed my mind about helping him immediately.” Maybe Anna hadn’t meant for him to share that information with Elsa, but it was the truth.

“No matter the reason, you helped him and that means a lot to me. Thank you.”

Brother and sister finished their food, but stayed at the table talking for a while. It had been a long time since they had had the chance to spend some time together, so they took the opportunity to talk about each other’s life, about Sven, and the family; just the way they used to do when they were still living together.

It didn’t take long for them to start talking about work. Kristoff told her about his relationship with his boss and how he was sure he’d get a promotion in the near future. It wasn’t a sure deal, but he was certain he was the best guy for the job. Elsa, on her part, told him about her plans for the season, and how her leg was practically at its full capacity once again.

“Are you still thinking about Marshall becoming your business partner?” asked Kristoff when he noticed Elsa didn’t seem so worried about the way she was going to organise her business.

“About that…” she said with a nervous smile. “We talked about it last night.”

“What?”

“He said yes in a heartbeat.”

“Didn't you say you were going to think about it a bit more?”

“We work well together. I think we can help each other out,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Are you sure concealing your powers won’t become a problem in the long run?” 

“It'll be fine.” Elsa gave him a knowing look. It was obvious she could see he was more worried than it was necessary. “I promise.”

Raising his hands in the air, he said, “If you think it’s a good idea, then I trust you. Just take care of yourself. I know it's physically challenging to keep your powers under control sometimes.”

He felt like a nuisance with his overprotectiveness, but all he wanted was the best for his family; but Elsa’s grin told him she wasn’t annoyed at all. They had come a long way together since they met and they both understood the other’s concerns.

“I truly think this arrangement is for the best. I know for a fact I can't keep working on my own, and Marshmallow will take a lot of responsibilities off my shoulders. Especially the business part. He knows more than me about this.”

He was surprised to see Elsa so eager for what was to come. For the first time, he saw her completely relaxed about what was to come and how her powers could affect her plans. Who was he to ruin her happiness with his concerns? “Then, I'm glad you found a way to keep working on your own. I'd hate to see you working for someone like Hans.”

She scoffed at the mere idea. “I wouldn’t work for him, not even for all the chocolate in the world after what he did to Marshmallow.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

---

After an emotionally taxing day, Agdar entered his bedroom ready to call it a night. He wanted to forget for a moment the injustices of life and rest before he needed to face another week. Ever since Elsa had shown up in their life, he had tried to bury himself in work, hoping to find some distraction from the guilt that was eating him alive. But that unhealthy solution had only worked for a short time; lately, he found himself getting more and more distracted at work, and every new week was a challenge.

He was certain this new week was going to be even more difficult than the previous one. This time he was angry about the fact people in Trolheim’s orphanage had lied to his face. And what was worse, he could only blame himself for it. He had trusted Weselton, he had abandoned his daughter and, what was worse, he was the one who had bought their lies. Whenever he thought about how utterly stupid he had been, he wanted to punch himself in the face. Sadly, he needed to keep a formal appearance for his company, if not, he was sure he would have already done it.

He closed his bedroom door silently, thinking his wife was already asleep. But to his surprise, she was still up, sitting on his desk. “You're already writing a new letter, aren't you?” he asked, already knowing the answer. The thrill of receiving Elsa’s letter had given his wife renewed energy, and she had been talking about it all day.

“Yes! I'm so excited. I never imagined she would answer.”

She didn’t need to say it for him to notice. Anna and Idunn were two sides of the same coin, especially when they were excited. 

“And you were right about Helga! It took her some time, but she was able to find the book Elsa was talking about,” she said, as she handed him a brown paper bag.

“Really?” he asked. He knew Helga was really good at identifying books and stories, the old woman had read more stories than she could tell, but he never thought she was going to find it so soon. “That was fast.”

He took the book from inside the bag and paid a good look at it. For a moment he pondered about the different ways perceived the world based on their experiences. To him, children's books were nothing but that. Children’s books. It was clear that for Elsa, however, a children’s book could mean so much more. He smiled sadly, as he guessed that for her it was going to be like meeting an old friend. Pain and guilt washed over him once again at that realisation.

“She spent over an hour looking at the old children's books in her deposit,” Idunn continued, unaware of her husband’s sadness. “I'll send the book with this letter, see? I'm sure she'll like the surprise.”

He smiled at her and handed her the book. It was nice to see one of them was looking at the glass half full. “It's the happiest I've seen you in a very long time,” he commented.

“Why do you say it as if it were a bad thing?” she asked, turning around in her chair to look at him.

“No reason.” He hadn’t meant to sound pessimistic.

“Agdar…”

Finding no good reason to lie to his wife, he said, “I don't want you or Anna to get hurt. Elsa's got her reasons to be weary of us.” It pained him to know it was true. “And we can't force her to meet us if she doesn't want to. I'd hate the idea of seeing the two of you disappointed if things don't end up the way you're hoping.”

Idunn stayed silent for a minute, giving Agdar enough time to beat himself internally several times for giving her a reason to worry. 

“Then let's try to prove Elsa she can trust us. She might surprise us,” she said enthusiastically, not letting his worries affect her.

He leaned down and kissed her temple. Her strength had always helped him in the bad times, and this time in particular was no exception. “Weren't you the one who said we should give Elsa some time?” he asked, honestly curious.

“I won't pressure her to meet us. I only want to talk to her. Let her know who we are… and get to know her better…” She turned to him and asked, “is that a bad thing?”

“No, of course not.” It was the perfect thing to do in his opinion, as long as they didn’t overwhelm Elsa. “What are you writing about?”

Idunn picked the letter she had been writing and paid a look. “I told her about Helga and how we found the book. Now I'm recommending some books to her. In her letter, she said she spent hours on end reading stories as a teenager.”

“I thought she was just learning how to read and write…”

“She learnt when she was fifteen years old, Agdar.” He chuckled at the tiredness in her tone of voice. She was talking to him the way she used to when Anna was a kid and he forgot every single detail about her dance classes. “Anna says she only struggles with more difficult academic words or concepts.” 

Idunn then looked at him and asked, “Is there anything you'd like to ask her?”

“Me? Are you sure?” For some reason he couldn’t explain, he was certain Elsa wouldn’t like to hear from him.

“Of course. Why don’t you ask her if she likes hockey?”

“What kind of question is that?” he laughed.

“She’s a ski instructor,” Idunn said as if it was the most obvious reason in the world. “I’m sure she enjoys all kinds of sports. Besides, Anna never paid attention to the game. Weren’t you the one who always complained she wouldn’t accompany you to the arena?”

“Yes, but-”

“Just talk to her, Agdar,” she said, noticing her husband’s hesitation. “Let her know you care. Sometimes, a simple question means more than you think.”

“I guess I could write to her…” If he was honest with himself, there were so many things he wanted to learn about her. Her hobbies, favourite kind of music, about her business… Everything. He wanted to learn everything about her. He wanted to made up for all those years they weren’t there for her too.

As if she had read his mind, Idunn said, “you’ll feel better if you do, trust me. Just, don’t pressure her.”

“I won’t,” he reassured her.

“I know you won’t.” She stood up from the chair and kissed him on the top of his head. “I’m going to bed.”

---

After cleaning the dishes, Kristoff and Elsa lay on the couch with Sven and continued talking about everything and nothing. It was as if they were back to their younger years without a worry in the world; whenever Kai and Gerda had to leave town, they’d stay up late into the night just spending time together. Playing cards or simply listening to music.

The memory made Elsa realise the opportunity was perfect for her to learn how to play truco. More importantly, to learn how to beat Anna.

“Do you know how to play Truco?” she asked her brother all of a sudden.

“The card game Anna loves so much?” he asked. “Sure.”

“Can you teach me how to play?”

“I thought you already knew how to play.” 

“I know the rules,” she clarified. “But I can't beat Anna. No matter how hard I try.”

Kristoff laughed wholeheartedly, clearly aware of her competitiveness. “I can't believe you're putting more effort into this than improving your handwriting.”

Elsa scoffed, faking annoyance. “Why is everyone so obsessed with my handwriting?”

“It's illegible.”

“Will you teach me how to play or not?” she asked, wanting to avoid talking about the fact she hadn’t tried to improve her handwriting in months.

“Go fetch the deck, it's inside my desk’s drawer,” answered Kristoff, as he pointed to the door of his room. “I'll teach you how to read Anna's expressions. She's easy to read once you know what to expect from her.”

“Thank you!” Elsa jumped from her seat and went into the room not wanting to waste any second. She was going to surprise Anna next time they played.

She opened the drawer and had to rummage through his things to find it. When she finally did, she was nonplussed to see the velvet box which was behind the deck of cards. 

“Is this…?” she murmured to herself and picked it up to examine it. Inside the black box there was a golden ring with the most beautiful orange stone Elsa had ever seen.

Not being able to stop her curiosity, she walked out the room and surprised her brother with the question, “Kristoff… Are you planning to propose to Anna?” As she showed him the box she had found.

“What?!” Kristoff stood from the couch and walked towards Elsa, taking the box from her hands. “Where did you get this?”

Her brother’s anger called her attention. “It was inside the drawer.”

“And you thought it was okay to open the box?” he said in anger.

“It was open,” Elsa said, excusing herself. “You can't blame me when you leave an engagement ring lying around.” She saw him sigh and sat down once again. “Are you going to propose?”

“I was…” he said after a minute in silence. “A couple of months ago.”

“You were?” That didn’t sound okay. At first Elsa was hurt Kristoff hadn’t shared his intentions with her, but now she was truly curious and a little concerned. “What made you change your mind? I thought things were okay between you two…” 

“Things are fine. Don't worry.”

“Why did you change your mind then?”

“It doesn't matter,” he answered in a low voice.

Elsa knew something wasn’t right. Kristoff wouldn’t buy an engagement ring only to change his mind. Something had happened, and it worried her. “It does matter.” 

“I don't want to talk about it, Els.”

The nickname he rarely used let her see he was actually begging her not to ask too many questions. “Fine…” she agreed, letting him off the hook. But still, she had to ask her original question. “Why didn't you tell me? I would have loved helping you pick the ring. Though you clearly didn’t need my help, it’s beautiful.”

Kristoff smiled. “It was months ago. You couldn't move or leave the house at the time.”

Thinking about his answer, Elsa realised the only time she was unable to move was the first month after the accident. “You've had the ring since January? I can't believe you haven't said anything in over–” She stopped herself mid sentence when she realised the reason Kristoff didn’t want to talk about the ring. “You changed your mind after you found out Anna is my sister, didn't you?”

“As I said, it doesn't matter.” He closed the velvet box and put it inside his pocket.

Elsa opened her mouth in astonishment . “I can't believe this… You threw away your plans because of what happened? Why would you do that?”

“Why would I?” he exclaimed. “Are you listening to yourself? The world came crashing down on you and Anna, Elsa. I couldn't ask her to marry me when I couldn't look Agdar in the face anymore.” He was surprised his sister didn’t see the obvious reason. “I couldn't ask for the man's blessing when all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.”

“But Anna and you love each other.” That was all that mattered. Elsa walked to the couch and sat by his side. “You don't need to put your life on hold for me or Agdar… You don't need to punch him in the face either.,” she murmured as an afterthought.

“I know but–” A tired sigh stopped him. “You mean a lot to me. All I want is to see you happy.”

“And I want to see you happy.” Elsa couldn’t understand why he was being so dense. “I know for a fact Anna makes you happy. Don't be an idiot and ask her to marry you.”

“If I do, I’ll need to give the Arendelles a second chance,” he said, looking her in the eye.

“So?”

“So?” he repeated. “Don’t you mind?”

“Of course not, Kristoff. They are Anna's parents,” said Elsa with a small laugh. “It’s as if you stopped talking to them just because of me.” His sheepish smile told Elsa all she needed to know. “You haven't talked to them all this time, have you?”

“No.”

“For goodness sake, Kristoff!” Her brother’s loyalty was truly unbelievable. “I knew you were on my side on this, but I never thought you stopped talking to them altogether!” Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose, exasperated. “Please, stop making things harder for you and Anna. Go talk to them.”

“Are you sure?” 

Her heart warmed at Kristoff’s hesitation. She wasn’t sure what she had done to have someone like him in her life. “They care about you, Kristoff. I noticed it the night we had dinner together. You're part of their family.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked, surprising her.

“About what?”

“About your birth parents…” He scratched the back of his head, unsure if it was okay for him to ask. “Will you give them a second chance? I know you gave Anna a letter addressed to them.”

“Oh… I- I don’t know” she hesitated. “Idunn sent me some letters which let me see things in a different light. I'm still not sure what to do, but I guess answering back was a start.” She took a deep breath, “If I have to be honest, I only read them because I knew it would make Anna happy.”

A grin appeared on his face as he gave Elsa a side hug, “You're a great sister, did you know that?”

Elsa wasn’t sure if he was talking about him or Anna, or both. But she answered anyway. “Anna’s the reason I didn't burn those letters. I'm glad I didn't, though. I guess I needed to hear their side of things…”

---

Guess who’s back, people?! That’s right, my inspiration!

I am so, so sorry for the delay. When I uploaded the previous chapter in February I knew I was going to take some time off. I didn’t have many things written at the time, and I was about to start working on an entrepreneurship I want to start officially in a few months. The thing is, to be able to meet my own personal deadlines I have to work whenever I have free time from my regular job, which as you may guess isn’t a lot. So, all things combined, resulted in this delay.

I want to assure you I am not planning on abandoning this story. Every night, before I go to bed, I try to write one or two lines. I always end up changing some things, and correcting others. But rest assured that I always devote some time to Søsken (I even have some things written for an after story, which also took a lot of time from my hands.)

I also want to let you know that I read each and every comment and I love them. I treasure them a lot! I will try to answer all of you in the following days.

BTW, that entrepreneurship I was telling you about has some things to do with Frozen and Fandoms in general. I’m working on my own art toys collection, so if any of you are interested in seeing my main hobby, just send me a message.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Please leave a review saying what you loved / hated about the chapter. I was definitely rusty this time and I wouldn’t be surprised if you find several mistakes, but I didn’t want to delay this any longer.

Stay safe, everyone! Tagging time: @swimmingnewsie @melody-fox @kristoffxannafanatic @kristannafictionals @neptrabbit @skneez @ellacarter13 @wondering-in-life @who-i-am-8 @fanfictionrecommendations-com @815-allisnotlost @khartxo @joannevixxon @betweenthedreams @burbobah @rileysfs @earlvessalius @blood-jewel @disneydreamer8901 @the-sky-is-awake @disneyfan103 @the-magic-one-is-you @anamaria8garcia @welovefrozenfanfiction @bigfrozenfan-archive @bigfrozenfan @frozen-snips  @deisymendoza  @zackhaikal123 @cornstarch @roostercrowedatmidnight @showurselfelsa @fuzzyelsalikeiduna @when-dawn-arrives @drafteedragon @snowycrocus @tare8chan @localarendellian@wabitham @roostercrowedatmidnight  @just-your-local-history-nerd@dontrunintofirexoxo @daphmckinnon @poketin @bruni-is-love @luna-and-mars @anotherpersondrawing @lovelucywilde @shimmeringsunsets @aries1708 @wabitham @agentphilindaisy @anotherpersondrawing @spkfrozen  Let me know if the tags work!

[snapefiction]

Someone who appreciates me Pt. 1 - Snapefiction

A/N: Hey! Thank you to everyone who supports my writing. I just recently reached 200 Followers after not even full two Months of starting this Blog and I couldn't be happier that you enjoy my writing. In hopes that you'll like this one too! x

(I tried to use gender neutral Pronouns and Descriptions at first but sadly lost the track of it so it slipped back to a fem!Reader. I'm sorry, I am trying to learn and do better next time.)

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️

Pairing: Severus Snape x Y/N, Severus Snape x fem!Reader

Setting: 3-4 Years after the Battle of Hogwarts

Warnings: Mentions of Insults

Word count: 2871

Y/N - Your Name, Y/L/N - Your Last Name, Y/W/A - Your wished Age, Y/B/M -Your Birthday Month

Someone who appreciates me - Pt. 1

,,Dear Professor, As you may know Minerva can be very consistent of certain things. One of these Certain Things seem to be the fact that we both are (if all my given Informations are correct) not currently in a relationship. I do not want to pressure you to read my letter or even answer it but i´d be very thankful if you’d at least let Minerva know about what your intentions are. Since a long time now- to be exact 7 Months and 3 days - she started to play my personal Matchmaker and I’m very sorry that you seem to be chosen by this fate that she gave us as well. So by Merlins Sake I’m going with her wish in hope Minerva may be Satisfied by it.

My Name is Y/N Y/L/N. I´ m currently working for the Ministry but will be switching to the St. -Mungos Hospital soon to continue to work as a Healer. I am Y/W/A years old and will be turning Y/W/A on Y/B/M. I live near the Diagon Alley. I despite the idea of introducing myself to someone else like I just did. It feels like I am exposing myself.

In my free time -which has gotten very rare over the years - I enjoy reading, drinking tea and going on walks. It’s not very much, actually it’s nothing, but it makes me happy. I’m a simple Woman.

Since this is the most awkward Thing I have done in a while i will end this letter down here. In hopes that you’re well and have a great day.

Yours sincerely Y/N YL/N”

Sighing he turned the Letter to look at the sealing. It must’ve sent directly from their workplace as they even used the official seal from the ministry itself for this use. He had to admit that he was lonely. Very indeed but Minerva was taking it too far by now. She tried to set him up a few times yet but he never really went with it. But now that she persuaded another Person to send him a letter directly to his workplace he was fed up. Pity grew in his stomach as he imagined what Minerva must’ve said about him to the other Person. She was always exaggerating about him, his past life and everything from the present. She  mothered and did everything to fuss over him since he was a Student at Hogwarts himself and yes, he had to admit it, he liked it sometimes. Enjoying their annual Tea each Sunday it was alright having her as a Friend. Especially after the Dark Lord passed and he finally got rid of the pressure of hiding. But her well trained skill to brew a perfect tea won’t make up that she tried to play a constant matchmaker for him. 

A deep Sigh left his throat as he sorted his Thoughts. Whatever he’d try to say would lead to a discussion about why she wants him to meet that Person so dearly. It was always a repeating scheme. Getting up from the wooden Chair which could need a replacement he took the letter in his one hand before heading to her chambers.

The Parchment burned in his Hands. Deciding on how he’d like to drop the bomb that he’d prefer to stay alone he kept walking faster. To be honest, he would never admit that towards Minerva nor anyone else and not even himself, he loved the idea of founding a family. He always imagined it as a great Joy since his own family was rather a decent disaster. But he knew what the Newspaper wrote about him after he survived, he knew what rumours go around at the Ministry, he knew how People still degraded him and how everyone secretly was checking twice if he wasn’t secretly still a death eater. He knew, felt and saw it everyday. So it just wasn’t meant to be for him to become the man he dreamt about in private. Maybe i should go back to Cokeworth, get a dog and dedicate my life to the science.

Before he could continue his daydream of vanishing from his current world he reached the door leading to Minerva´s private rooms. Knocking he already knew she was there because the heat from inside and the smell of tea already reached his nose.

After a few seconds he heard her mumbling and finally opening the shrieking door.

,,Severus, my dear. What is it?“ A warm smile formed on her face. He just tried to keep his cold face as he hoped it’d get him further in the argument that he tried to start to prove his point. Silently holding up the Parchment he pointed the wax seal directly towards her.

,,Is it from Y/N?" Her eyes shined brightly and she was already asking him inside as her hands took the letter and she moved her tall figure aside to let him in.

,,Of course it is." He mumbled while making his way over to his usual seat. Watching her reaction as she read the Letter he wished to vanish. It was simply embarrassing.

,,Oh, she can't be serious. I told her to tell you something about herself."

,,She did!" He pleaded.

,,No she didn't! She just talked about me. Oh! The two of you match perfectly. You both are very self conscious about what you are and what you deserve or in general on how to communicate." She went to the kitchen to get kettle.

,,You're just mad that we don't want to play along with your plans." Mumbling Severus knew that she heard every whisper.

,,No you're just mad that I told her about you." Rolling his eyes he watched her setting down the kettle and filling him a cup of tea.

,,I don't need a Relationship." Stating his Fact he hoped it could bury the Topic finally.

,,I know. But it wouldn't harm you as well." Taking a sip from the still brewing water tea mixture he wondered how she wasn't burning herself.

,,Can you just stop setting those things up?" Now it was her who rolled their eyes. ,,Only if you give it one first and one last try. Y/N is very kind."

,,Kindness isn't everything. Her Letter wasn't very tempting."

,,Merlin, if you start judging people over their Kindness I'll lose my mind. You aren't very charming yourself, you twit."

,,You call me a Twit?"

,,You're clearly a Twit."

,,Stinky Witch." Shrugging her shoulder she hid her smile behind her cup of tea before downing it almost completely. ,,One date and I'll stop for good."

,,Do you promise?"

,,I solemnly swear. If this won't work out then you might be a helpless case." Ignoring her spur he gave in. Again.

,,Fine." And so it came that he drank his tea and they chatted about something else. Their Friendship had their own charm. But before Severus could leave to go back to his own Rooms Minerva put the Parchment in his Hands and told him with a warm smile to write back.

It didn't work out like he planned. Actually it was the opposite. He wanted to burn the Letter and forget that it had happened but if it was the only way to get rid of any unwanted dates, matches etc. he would actually give it a chance. Unbelievable. He'd really write Y/N back.

Since it was almost midnight he decided that it was time to continue his paperwork. He couldn't fall asleep until three A.M. anyways if he was able to fall asleep in general. After answering a lot of Letters, correcting some Works and finally writing down what he had to get from his next visit at Diagonal Alley he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to his new acquaintance living there. Wasn't she repelled by his ruined reputation?

Rereading her Letter he was wondering what a type of person she was. How did she look like? What made Minerva think that they'd be a great Match? In his Mind he was starting to puzzle a picture of someone he'd expect to write to. Of what he'd expect someone nice to be and act like. To his surprise it wasn't anything close to Lily. Not at all. It was almost the completely opposite. Bewildered he laid down his feather. He almost hasn't noticed how he started to mindlessly write all the attributes down that he was hoping to find in Y/N.

Nice but not foolish. Intelligence. A dry sense of humor. Challenging. Special. Complementary. Appreciative. Pretty Eyes. A soothing voice. Someone who appreciates work. Someone who appreciates me?

Eyeing the Clock he noticed that it was already past 4 am. Again he was completely loosing his track of time. Packed by the idea of finding something of those attributes in her he grabbed a paper and his feather.

His enthusiasm quickly faded. What was he supposed to say? What did she knew about him? His wide eyes and his raised eyebrows scaled down a bit. This grew to be more complicated than he anticipated.

,,Y/N, I'm sorry that Minerva grew this Mania about you as well. I have known her for a long time by now and can confirm to you that despite all her promises she won't stop setting things up. It seems like it became one of her dearest ways of passing time.

Not knowing of what she has told you about my person I will just start formally.

My Name is Severus Snape. Currently I am still preoccupied as the head of house of Slytherin at Hogwarts. And due to latest events I won't return to teaching soon or anytime again. Most of my time I look out to keep myself busy with science studies, working and reading.

To be completely honest, I promised Minerva to write back as she promised me in return to stop setting any acquaintance with me. Also I feel uncomfortable introducing myself as well. I prefer Meetings.

Yours faithfully Severus Snape"

After his eyes read the letter multiple times he finally got himself to seal it. Watching the wax cool down he noticed how much he hoped that she could at least fulfil on of the attributes he was looking for. Hope? Don't make a fool out of yourself. She will probably loose her interest soon.

But she didn't. He sent his Letter around 4:50 am and already at 8am after he slept 2 full hours she sent her response. Not truly believing his eyes that Y/N was answering and not someone who would want to mess with him he quickly opened it. This Time the Seal was a different one. One that contained her Initials.

,,Dear Severus, Taking it from your response I anticipate that we are on first name base now? If that's so completely fine with that.

Reading your Letter I had to laugh. Minerva is simply one of a Kind and somehow I feel very reliefed that you're as uncomfortable as I am.

Maybe that's a great opportunity to admit that I already know a lot about you. Minerva is very chatty and as you probably already are aware of your Name is very well known and greatly appreciated. And by that I don't mean that that's the Reason why I decided to write you but I mean that I'm impressed by you. I actually chose to follow Minerva's will to contact you because she introduced you as a very kind, intelligent and somewhat funny Man. And despite the fact that I am happy by being alone I can't deny that the idea of meeting someone like you was interesting me. Someone who Minerva introduced as a great Friend. This may sound cheesy but you deserved to get known to my intentions.

You mentioned that you prefer Meetings. What about a Meeting at the Three Broomsticks? I bet you know a lot funny stories about Minerva which I'm not aware of yet. Name a Time and Day and I'll be there. And if it makes you more comfortable- you can decide if it's as friends or if you want to call it a date. As I already said I'm mainly interested in getting known to you.

I hope you'll have a successful Morning and i'm expecting your Owl.

Yours sincerely Y/N YL/N"

That wasn't like anything he expected. She wasn't disgusted by everything he did? She wanted to meet him? He thought that she'd politely decline and he'd get rid of all the fuss but she actually sounded nice. Should he give in?

Some time has passed since he received her letter. To be exact four days and nights. Severus told himself that he had gotten busy in hopes this could ease his guilty Feelings. But Minervas Questions wouldn’t stop and he had to make the decision he was shoving back for too long. He just wanted to end that Matchmaking Service and now it had gotten him to the point where he was too nervous to answer a simple letter after the Person openly admitted their interest in him.

Hoping for someone to take the Decision which now laid heavy on his shoulders he wandered around the corridors. His duties for the day have been already done by now and he was just looking for a task to get his mind of the Woman’s Name. He was too nervous to answer, way to nervous. It was nice to get known to someone, yes. But it was too early for him. He hasn’t recovered yet and still felt hurt from his past. Who could blame him? No one. Right? Slowly he started to feel better. Like it was a great opportunity to back off and make this another awkward Memory he had in one of his many brain cells. He won’t answer her. That’s it.

Feeling some Weight flowing off his shoulders he reached his Chambers. He should at least answer Harry. Since he had graduated two and a half years ago he still checked up on him. It simply was his promised duty to do so. Thinking of Questions to ask Harry about his new Life as a Auror and about his Girlfriends Ginny Weaslys as a Professional Quidditch Player he grabbed some Parchment and took his Feather. Dipping it into the small ink Pot he had to notice it was empty. Annoyed he took the List he had put in his drawer in his hands. Diagon Alley, was written on it. Tea, Ink, a new Book and some Parchment.

,,Dunderhead.“ He called himself as he again rolled his eyes. He had forgot to get his supplies. That one Task had slipped off his mind. Annoyed and grumpy as always he gritted his teeth while grabbing his Coat and using his Cabin to reach named Diagon Alley. Slighty coughing he scrunched his nose. As Years have passed he grew to hate using Floo Power. 

Diagon Alley was shining. Lights from every Window invited Passengers into their Shops. But Severus wasn’t the Man to just go shopping and buying random Things. He was organised. So Organised that a simple Woman who showed slight interest in him could get him off his tracks. Ironic. He worked Years as a spy and now a simple Letter did this to him.

His Feet lead his set route to the Shop where he got the Parchment and some ink and afterwards to the Teashop. The last station was the Book Shop. It was the only stage where he was spending an unknown amount of time each time he got there. Words always had a big impact on him. Of course Actions were important too but it are words who seduce him easily.

That’s why he was carrying his now heavy bag through the huge aisles of Books trying to find a new object of Desire. He was very fond of almost every Herbalism, Potion and Healing Book so it had to be something new. His Position as Head of house was boring him. He needed something to do. So he decided to focus his energy on Books and as already mentioned Science.

Opening a smaragd green book he followed some lines about Muggles. Even though he never found himself very intertwined in this Topic he gave it a chance. The fact of how well written and even advanced it was was interesting him. Putting it in his little Basket he continued to decipher the Book Titles. Death Omens: What to Do When You Know the Worst is Coming. Taking it in his Hands he way eyeing it closely.

,,I hope you aren’t expecting anything bad, Professor Snape. That's a dangerous Book.“ Caught he quickly looked to his side. A young Woman was smiling nervously at him. Confused he tried to remember her. Was she a Student? A former Death eater? Merlin, no. She was too young to be a death eater.

,,Y/N.“ Her cheeks blushed now and she lowered her glance shortly. ,,Y/N Y/L/N. I thought it might be not very polite if I wouldn’t even say hello since we somehow know each other.“ Getting lost in her eyes he quickly forgot his Plan on to stop thinking about her and not writing her back.  

to be continued. last update 30.jan.21

Taglist: @deepperplexity  , @monstreviolet , @wow-life-love4 , @lizlil , @once-upon-an-imagine , @darkthought15 , @elizabeth-baelish , @looseheartedlady , @ithinkweallsing , @simpforsnape

Let me know if you want to be added to my Taglist. :)

[chaotic-tired-bastard]

Coffee for Two

Coffee Shop AU for Nori and Bofur!!!

It was a rainy day. Bofur usually liked rainy days, they always made him feel like sitting down and carving something with a hot cup of coffee or cider by his side. But he couldn’t do that, not today. Because today, he was working. Well, not really. There hadn’t been anyone in the café for at least an hour.

He was utterly and completely bored out of his mind. When he offered to fill in for his brother, Bombur, at his café, he thought it would have been a breeze. Bofur got along with people well, it was one of his many natural traits that made him all the more likeable. But being in an empty coffee shop for an hour isn’t the most entertaining thing ever. Especially when you’re the only staff there.

Had he not been working; he would have pulled out his phone and been playing on it for at least thirty minutes by now. But he didn’t, because his phone was in his (temporary) locker, along with his rings and gloves. He was thankful that he had been allowed to keep his hat, at least.

He was contemplating heading into the back to get his phone when he heard the rev of an engine. He looked from where he had just finished restocking the cream to see someone ride into the parking lot on a motorcycle. He frowned, thinking, Poor soul. Even I’d not like to be caught outside in this weather.

He watched the owner stumble to the door and mentally prepared himself. Usually, soaking wet people aren’t the politest, even on the best of days. But, regardless, he had to stop himself from sucking in a deep breath at the sight of the man.

His hair was soaking, but still held up in its braid; a single one running down the middle of his head. His wet hair must have been originally an orange-brownish colour, but at the time it looked more to be a soggy brown. He had a small, but well-groomed beard. He was dressed in figure-hugging black jeans, a grey t-shirt, a loose leather jacket, and black combat boots. He was a sight, and definitely not a bad one.

His sharp, amber eyes scanned the room and came to a rest on Bofur. He gave him a quick once-over before approaching the counter. “Are ya still open?” He asked Bofur, his Scottish lilt making Bofur repress a shudder.

“Aye, we are. Can I get ya anything?” Bofur replied.

The man gazed at the board hung up behind Bofur, studying what there was to have. Finally, he said, “I’ll have an Iced Latte, preferable with a shot of whiskey if you have any,” he said, starting to fish around in his pocket for his wallet.

“Aye, I can do that. What’s the name for the order?” Bofur asked, praying that he wouldn’t trip over his words like he usually did with attractive men.

The man pulled out his wallet and stared at Bofur. “Uhh... Nori,” He cautiously said.

“Alright, Nori, I’ll have this out in a jiffy,” Bofur said, smiling.

Nori handed Bofur ten dollars and he got to work. Nori went to a small table and pulled out his phone. Bofur would have liked to stare at him, but he had a coffee to make.

It didn’t take too long to make Nori’s order. On a normal day, it would have been around ten minutes. Today, however, it only took five. When Bofur finished, he poured it into a cup and wrote on it, ‘Nori’, trying to keep his usually scratchy handwriting neat.

He decided that, seeing that three were no other vehicles in the parking lot and that there weren’t any that were going to appear soon, he should make himself a drink. And he did just that. He filled his cup with hot water and put a teabag into it. He usually didn’t go for tea, but this type was the only exception. He capped their cups and walked over, a cup in each hand.

Nori looked up as he approached, suspicion flashing in his eyes as he caught sight of the extra cup. “I only ordered one,” Nori cautiously said as Bofur sat in the chair across from him.

“Ya did. This one here’s mine,” Bofur said, setting Nori’s cup in front of him and taking a sip of his own.

“Oh,” Nori said, taking a sip of his coffee.

His eyes went wide. “Wow. How is this so good? Are ya a wizard or somethin’?” Nori asked, looking at his coffee in shock.

Bofur laughed. “Ah, no, I’m not a wizard. I just have lots of experience with this sort of thing. And I used good whiskey, not the cheap trash kind,” He chuckled, bringing his tea to his lips and sipping.

“Aww, I happen to like the cheap trash kind,” Nori teased, smirking.

“Well then, my friend, I think that’s a you problem,” Bofur teased right back, smiling warmly.

Nori frowned. “I just met ya. And I have no idea what yer name is,” he said, peering over his cup.

“Well, I can’t have that! I’m Bofur, Bofur Broadbeam. And I never got yer full name?” Bofur said, reaching out his hand for Nori to shake.

Nori shook it and replied, “I’m Nori Rison. It’s nice to meet ya, Bofur,” his eyes glimmering with something unknown.

Bofur decided that he wanted to figure it out.

꧁☕꧂︎

Bofur didn't expect to ever see Nori again. But he kept seeing him everywhere. He noticed that Nori frequented a favourite pub of his, as well as the same grocery store and same library. How had he not noticed him till now?

The first few times, he didn't say anything. He didn't want to look like a creep, especially not to one of the most handsome men he had ever met.

The second time, though, Nori saw him. They chatted for a while about something until Nori got a notification on his phone. He read it and frowned. They then bid each other goodbye.

Each interaction left Bofur's head spinning. He didn't mind it, though. Neither did Nori, he assumed, because he would sometimes seek Bofur out while at places they normally met at. Bofur had seen him peeking in Aisles at the grocery store and looking for him at the bar. Bofur wasn't guilty of this as well, definitely not. Okay, fine, sometimes he did.

But what was the harm in it? Nori was handsome and funny and smart... but that didn’t mean that Bofur couldn’t be friends with him. And maybe, if he got lucky and scored a date with him, that wouldn’t be all that bad.

꧁☕꧂︎

It had only been a month since Nori had met Bofur, and he was already in love. He was in love with his twinkling eyes, his intoxicating, even his stupid hat. That had scared him at first; it had taken an entire week for him to be able to face Bofur with this in mind. Since then, Nori had started his subtle advances; buying Bofur beers, giving him a new whittling knife, finding him that type of tea he liked, and so much more.

But Bofur hadn’t responded in any way that proved that he was interested! So here Nori was, sitting at a corner table at a bar and calling his brothers for help, something he never thought he would do. He sat for a few rings before he heard Dori pick up the phone. “Nori? Did you get in trouble with the police again?” Dori sighed; Nori could almost hear him facepalming.

“No, Dori, I didn’t. Is Ori there?” He asked.

“Mhm. I’ll put you on speaker.”

“Hi Nori!” Ori called, making Nori huff in amusement.

“Hey. So, it might seem...unusual... but I need yer help,” Nori said.

He could hear Ori fall off of whatever he was sitting on, probably the couch. “Nori, what on earth would you ever need our help with?” Ori cried, probably from the floor.

“SHH, you’ll tell the whole world! And I need advice,” Nori hissed.

“What do you need advice on?” Dori asked, keeping his voice at a comfortable volume.

Nori flushed red. “I need relationship advice. You both have had relationships; you have to have some wisdom to pass on!” He sighed, putting a hand on his red cheek.

He could hear Dori repressing a snicker. “Okay, so here’s what you’re going to do...”

꧁☕꧂︎

Bofur sat at the pub booth, twiddling his fingers as he waited for Nori. His gift lay in his lap, cleverly covered by his jacket. He hadn’t been too worried when Nori called, asking to meet up, and he wasn’t worried now. Actually, thrilled would be a better word.

Nori seemingly appeared from nowhere and sat down across from him. Bofur smiled brightly and Nori returned it, although a bit more shyly. "So... I'm guessing yer wondering why I wanted to meet..." Nori said, looking at his hands.

Bofur hummed in agreement. Nori took a deep breath and said, "Well, I'm in love."

Bofur felt his heart stop. How... how? How could he be so unlucky to fall for someone who had already fallen for someone else? "Aye?" He said and forced a smile, trying to be supportive.

"Yeah," Nori said, not meeting his eyes and smiling shyly.

"Who is it? Do I know them or did you fall fer a random person on the street?" Bofur asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"Kinda? A bit of both, actually."

"Ah. How long have you known them?"

"I've known him for a few months, but he's just amazing."

"Is he good to you?"

"The best. Just being around him makes me smile."

"Well, I guess this is of no use then," Bofur laughed sadly.

Nori cocked his head, a sudden look of doubt in his eyes. "What isn't of use?" He asked.

Bofur waved the box with his present inside. "Thought you were interested... guess I was wrong," he sighed.

He went to stand up, but Nori grabbed his wrist, making him stop. "What makes you think I'm not interested, Bofur? I've been describing you," he desperately said, blushing furiously.

Bofur blushed a bright red. He gulped, "Really?"

"Really. So, what I guess I'm saying is, Bofur will you date me?" Nori asked, grinning nervously.

Bofur was silent for a moment, processing what Nori said in a stunned silence. Finally, he grinned. "Of course, ya dolt," he said, grinning.

Nori let out a sigh of relief and grinned, wholly and purely happy. Bofur slid into the seat Nori was sitting in, snuggling up to him and letting out a happy sigh. "I believe you had something for me?" Nori asked, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Here you go," Bofur said, handing Nori the box.

Nori shook it playfully, shooting Bofur a grin, to which he giggled. Nori then opened it and gasped.

He lifted out a beautiful dagger, his eyes wide in surprise. The hand carved handle was a oak, some runic patterns carved around and on the hilt. The bale was sheathed, but Nori could tell it was sharp "Oh, Bofur, it's beautiful," Nori breathed, studying the blade with awe.

"Well, I thought I might make you somethin that reminded me of ya," Bofur hummed, his head on Nori's shoulder.

"You big old sap," Nori chuckled, pressing a kiss to Bofur's forehead.

"Oi, I think ya missed," Bofur said, pointing to his lips with a smile.

"My bad," Nori purred and pressed a kiss to Bofur's lips.

Bofur grinned into the kiss, content with the feel of his lips against Nori's. He sat up a bit, trying to get a better angle. Nori gently pushed him back down and hugged him, breaking the kiss to grin. "Wanna get a beer?"

"After you, my love."

[bokutosbubblebutt]

Drama Queen

- Satoru Gojo

This is based on a headcanon I wrote

Click here to read it

•—————•

While you checked some reports, which you had to give to the principal, you were walking trough the halls of the Jujutsu Academy Tokyo. You were not really a teacher, more like a therapist for the students because the principal wanted someone who they can talk to besides their official teachers. It’s not like you couldn’t teach how to be a jujutsu sorcerer but after you graduated, you wanted to become a therapist instead.

„Good Morning, Y/N Sensei!“ Yuji greeted you with an annoyed tone in his voice. Confused you looked at the three students, who were supposed to have a class right now. „It’s 8:47 am, I mean we all know that Saturo can be late sometimes but that’s a bit too much!“

„We know, we already asked in the office if he gonna show up but they said, we just have to wait a bit longer.“ Nobora explained and rolled her eyes.

„Oh, okay I understand! I will look after him, maybe he has overslept or something.“ The three thanked you and sat down again to wait. You went back to the dorm rooms to search your coworker.

You knew Satoru for several years now. Back when you went to the academy he was a class above you and you two trained a lot together. And in the last few years you managed to stay in touch and sometimes went out to eat together.

His and your friends always spread rumors that you two were dating or had something like friends with benefits but none of them were true. Yeah, Satoru was nice, funny and had charm, the fact that he was attractive was obvious and he knew that but at the end you were just pretty close friends.

Slightly you knocked on his door and waited a few seconds but there was no answer. Again you knocked a bit louder this time but again no answer. Carefully you opened the door, since it’s literally never looked, and you walked into a dimmed room. The air was hot in here and it slightly smelled in it. You walked over to his big bed and found a sleeping Satoru in it. Just his white hair was visible and the rest was covered with his blanket. You always wondered how the blanket could fit over his body, since this man is a human giraffe.

Has he really overslept?

Annoyed you squated down and slightly touched his shoulder to wake him up but he didn’t move. He snored a bit and his breath sounded heavy. „Hey, dumbass!“ you said. „You have classes to teach.“

„I can’t.“ he whisperd and still didn’t moved. „I‘m dying.“ After that he coughed dramatically.

„Seriously? Don’t be such a drama queen!“ you frowned and stood up again. Annoyed you put your arms on the side of your hips and looked down to him. Slowly he turned around because he was facing the wall before. Again he coughed a few times and looked up to you with tired eyes.

„I‘m sick, I‘m gonna die.“ he whimpered and looked almost sad. You just breathed out and grabbed the bridge of your nose. Again he coughed and after that he sneezed two times.

„Okay, just let me check if you have a fever.“ You squated down and your cold hands met his warm forehead. He really had a fever and now you felt kinda bad for him. But then you remembered that he’s a grown man and he could have just simply took a few pain killers and then move on with his day.

„You didn’t even called you sick at the office, your students are waiting since 8 am.“ you explained and let your cold fingers trace over his red cheeks.

„I couldn’t get up and my phone is on my desk.“ he giggled a bit embarrassed and closed his eyes again. „Fucking idiot.“

Quickly you pulled your phone out of your pocket and called him sick for the day. After that you stood up and opened a window that at least a bit fresh air can get into his room. You were about to open the door but suddenly he raised his voice. „Wait, what are you doing? You really wanna let me die?“

„Satoru, I need to take care of your class! They are waiting.“ - „You really wanna let me die alone, hu? Suffer in my own pain? Okay, I understand.“ he answered overdramatized and coughed loudly. „And who will take care of your Class, idiot?“

„I don’t know, ask Kento or tell them they have free today. I just don’t wanna be alone.“ the last sentence he whispered softly and turned around to face the wall. You almost felt bad for him. „Ahh, okay, just let me call him.“ You didn’t believe yourself that you really said yes to this dumbass.

„Uh, Kento, you have to do me a favor, please!“ you asked in your nicest tone possible. „Satoru is sick and someone needs to do his classes today.... I know, I know I could do them but someone is a little bitch and doesn’t want to be alone...“ Suddenly satoru threw a shoe at you but missed. „If you can throw that fucking shoe then you are not that sick!“ you frowned and he just coughed dramatically. „Pleeease? Itadori misses you by the way!... Really? You are the best! Thank you!“

„You should be glad that he really said yes, idiot.“ - „Thank you!“ he mumbled into his pillow and turned around that he could lay on his stomach. „And what do you want me to do now?“ you asked and closed the window again. After that you took of your shoes and threw your jacket over his chair.

„I don’t know, just be with me, please.“ he said softly and turned his head to face you. „Okay, first of all i will make you a cup of tea and bring you some pills against the fever. I‘ll be right back.“

Your dorm room was only two minutes away from him and you went there only wearing socks and a tank top. Gladly you bought a little kitchen once so you could make a cup of tea and grabbed some pills. After five minutes you went back only to see a half naked Satoru sitting on his bed. It looks like he only slept in underwear which made you swallow hard.

He was skinny but had a slight sixpack and his biceps was also toned. You already saw him like this a few times but it’s always a bit overwhelming how attractive he is. „I, I made you black tea.“ you stuttered and sat down next to him on his bed.

„Stop staring!“ he smirked and grabbed the tea out of your hand. „I‘m not staring, dumbass!“ Sadly your cheeks slightly turned to a pinkish tone and you turn your face away. „Just take this pill, it will help against your fever.“ - „Thank you! I was sweating the whole night and then I took my shirt off.“ he explained and then took the pill. After that he placed the cup next to the nightstand next to his bed. He had to bend over you and took the chance to place his hand on your thigh.

He slowly slid down so that he can lay again. With puppy eyes he looked at you and you just put your cold fingers around his face to cool it down. Since he still has his hand on your thigh he pulled your leg closer to use it as a pillow. „You are an Idiot!“ you giggled and traced your thumb over his sharp jawline. „I know!“ he just answered and closed his eyes.

For a while you two were just resting there in silence. You, playing with his hair and letting your knuckles slide over his shoulders back to his cheekbones and he, just resting there, sometimes coughing and pulling your thigh closer to him.

„Y/N?“ he suddenly broke the silence. „Wanna watch a movie?“ You slightly nodded and he started to move. Carefully he bended over you and grabbed the remote. He turned the tv on and searched some movie on Netflix.

„If I‘m gonna get sick, I’ll kill you!“ you giggled and also slid down to have a more comfortable position. This time he placed his arm behind your shoulders and pulled you close. Your head was resting on his bare chest now and he played with your hair. „Don’t worry I will take care of you.“ he chuckled and looked down at you. „Hell nah! I wanna die alone.“

„Yeah, yeah I love you too!“

Masterlist

[writingformymentalhealth]

Chapter 5

The Black Brothers

Josephine Fawley or as her brother liked to call her the tomboy Princess had a striking romance with Hogwarts very own Pureblood rebel Sirius Black.

Sadly her parents deemed his Brother the so called Slytherin Prince as a better fit and arranged a marriage with the younger Black.

Tw: Arranged marriage, possible smut, swear words, lots of fluff, angst, mentions of abuse and depression,

Part 1

Wattpad link

Masterlist

The Newts went by in the blink of an eye and before any of them knew they were back at the platform 9 3/4.

“I will miss you so bad,” Isa said and Joey’s insides felt warm. Isa wasn’t one for sentimentalities usually and having her openly talk about missing her made her happier than she would ever admit.

“I’ll miss you too, Isa.” She said, pulling the girl in a quick hug.

“Hey Isa, don’t steal away my girl,” Sirius’ voice said from behind, earning him a playful shove from Joey.

Isa waved a last time before going to look for her parents, leaving the couple to bid their goodbyes.

“Farewell Princess.”

“We’ll see each other at the next boring pureblood ball.”

“I’ll still miss you like crazy.” His hand cupped her cheek, making a blush creep up on her. How could he make her feel this way, even after all these years?

And then kissed her. He kissed her like it was the last kiss they ever shared.

After pulling back, both teens were slightly panting.

“I’ll miss you too, Black”

“Write to me, love.”

“Every day.”

And with a last playful wink the boy disappeared between the people, going to find his parents - or hiding from them.

Just seconds later, Quentin appeared next to the girl.

“Let’s go, mum and dad will be waiting.” He said, nudging her.

It only took the twins minutes to find their parents chatting with the Malfoys, and even though Quentin’s expression remained rather neutral, Joey could practically feel her brother’s blood boil at the sight of Lucius.

Their Mother was the first one to see the twins hugging them both and mumbling something about having missed them. Their father just nodded at the scene, bidding his goodbyes to the Malfoys.

“We have something to tell you when we come home.” Cordelia whispered to her children before grabbing Joey’s hand.

Joey and Quentin exchanged a look.

With a plop the family landed back at the Fawley residence and Joey inhaled the familiar scent of Lavender and Moth balls that always seemed to linger in the old house and didn’t pay much attention to her mother asking for a teatime with the family to discuss ‘important matters’. At least until Quentin took her hand, and she felt just how clammy and sweaty his hand was.

“It will be alright Quen.”

He shook his head. And Joey prayed they weren’t going to tell her that his depression got worse.

With a weird feeling in her stomach, she made her way to the sitting corner in which the Fawley family always drunk their tea, carefully pulling Quentin behind, who seemed almost frozen into place.

Their parents sat opposite to them, both seeming suspiciously smiley.

“What’s up?” Joey asked, not able to take the tension anymore.

Her mother inhaled sharply before letting her catlike green eyes meet her daughters. “We arranged a marriage for you, Josephine.”

“You what?” The siblings asked simultaneously.

“We arranged for you to marry a respectable pure blood gentleman.” Her father explained, not looking his children in the eyes.

“Absolutely not.”

Her mother pursed her lips. “I fear you don’t have a choice, Darling.”

“You were always against that bullshit,” her brother spat, his voice being louder than ever.

“Things change, circumstances change.” Their father said, just earning a scoff from his son.

“It is the best for all of us.”

“Not for me.”

Her mother looked at her sadly, “You don’t have a choice.”

“Oh hell, yes I do.” Joey screamed, standing up, running into her room, still faintly hearing her brother argue with her parents.

In her room she pulled out her trunk, chaotically throwing clothes, pictures and other prized possessions in it. She didn’t know where she was going to go, but she knew she needed to go. Hot tears streamed down her face, she always thought her parents were different, sure most pure blood families had some weird beliefs about keeping their blood pure therefore arranged marriage looked like the best thing to do, but her parents always seemed to accept that their children would go their own way.

A faint knock on the door alerted the girl of her mother’s presence.

“Can I come in?”

“In your words, I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“We made a deal with the family years ago,” her mother sighed suddenly looking decades older, “we promised them you would marry their son in exchange for safety from the dark Lord.”

“What has Voldemort to do with all this?” her Mother flinched by the mention of his name.

“The family is very close to him. They inform him about blood traitors, eventual followers and all that.”

“So I don’t have a choice?”

“Not if you want your loved ones to live.” Her Mother said simply giving her daughter a reassuring squeeze before going out of the room leaving Joey at a complete loss.

After the initial shock, there was only one thing on her mind: Sirius.

She fidgeted with the silver ring on her left hand, knowing that she always wanted to marry him, spend her life with the boy she loved above everything else, and now she would have to face a relationship like Narcissa had with Lucius.

The lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger, and she barely noticed the tears streaming down her face mercilessly.

Perhaps the worst heartbreak isn’t getting broken up with, perhaps the worst heartbreak is knowing you have to break up with someone who you still love with every fiber of your body.

-

Two days had gone by, but Joey didn’t even seem to notice. Everything went on in a blur and no words from Isabella, who she wrote to immediately nor her brother, could pull her out of her misery.

“You know you need to break up with him, don’t you?” Her brother just asked, while soothingly drawing circles on her back.

“Isabella said I should break his heart really bad to make it easier for him,” Joey scoffed, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

“That’s a terrible idea, even for Isabella.”

“You just say that because you hate her. She said, I should just tell him I am in love with someone else.”

“Josephine, don’t do it, please. People will know about the arranged marriage just like they know about Lucius and Narcissa.”

“I could still love him though.”

“Sirius isn’t stupid - not that stupid at least.”

“If I tell him the truth he would try to fight the bloke in some deathly duel or something,” she laughed humorlessly, “he’d do anything for me.”

“You don’t need to tell him a reason to break up with him.”

“Don’t you think I owe him one?”

Her brother stayed silent, engulfing her in a hug, while her tears left a wet patch on his shirt. Quentin knew better than to argue with his sister. She already made up her mind.

-

Joey had asked Sirius to meet her at the park bench he once gave her the promise ring at. Her face was stoic, almost unreadable. She knew she couldn’t show weakness in front of him. She couldn’t make him question her decision. She needed to be confident and cold.

She already saw him from afar, his long hair hanging in his eyes while he comfortably sat in the grass even though a perfectly intact bench was right next to him.

As soon as the boy saw her his eyes lit up and he stood up to hug her, but she took a step back making his eyebrows snap together in confusion.

“We need to talk.” She said instead of a greeting slowly making her way to the bench.

“What’s wrong, love?”

She forced herself to look into his concerned eyes that were so full of love for her and she knew Isabella was right. She would have to break him so he could let her go.

“I am breaking up with you.”

Sirius’ eyes widened in disbelief, his hands fidgeting with each other like they always did when he got overwhelmed, and Joey had to resist the urge to hold them.

“Why? Joey we can fix this I-“

“I made my decision.”

He swallowed hard, and she saw tears starting to pool in his eyes.

“Why?” He asked again, his voice cracking.

“I found somebody else.” She said simply, not daring to look into the stormy grey eyes she was still very much in love with, “and I am in love with him.”

“I love you.” Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper and it took everything in Joey not to say it back.

“I should go.” She said, not waiting for an answer before standing up and taking fast steps towards the point she knew she could Apparate away in safety. A small part of her hoped he would run after her, tell her he saw through her act, tell her he knew how to get out of it but he didn’t so she let the tears that she was holding in since the moment she saw him sitting next to the bench fall but to her surprise she didn’t feel the hurt anymore. Instead, her heart felt cold, as if it was made of ice or as if someone had just burst through her rib cage and taken it out, leaving only an empty space.

Sirius Black felt like he was having a heart attack, and for a short second he thought about admitting himself into St mangos hospital but he came to the conclusion that maybe having a heart attack right now wouldn’t be too bad because the one person he trusted and treasured over anyone else made his worst fears come true. He knew he was always jealous, but that was just because he knew deep inside that a guy like him could never keep a girl like her. That a girl like Josephine didn’t settle for family disappointments with lots of baggage, but he still tried and for a brief moment he thought he could be happy. Now he knew that some people just aren’t meant to be happy.

For the first time since the couple started dating, Sirius lit up a cigarette, inhaling the deathly smoke deeply, hoping that it would kill the sadness in him.

Sirius Black’s world became dull that day.

Unbeknownst to both they had the same essential question running through their head, ‘who is this other guy’ but while Sirius would have to wait some time till his question got answered, Joey had the option to confront her parents.

Of course she could have done this earlier, but she had to admit she was scared of the answer. She knew most pureblood families and couldn’t say she particularly liked them. Additionally a family that was close to the Dark Lord was bound to be involved in the dark arts and at least to some extent evil.

She shuddered at that thought; she heard all the stories about arranged marriages - the regular rape, the abuse and the fear and she wasn’t keen on joining that club. So when she saw her Mother that day ready to confront her - she couldn’t.

She couldn’t bring herself to ask.

Actually, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything besides lay in bed and sleep, she didn’t even have it in her to cry anymore. Even after her Mother informed her she was going to meet her future husband for dinner, she didn’t have it in herself to react.

In the end it was her brother who brought back the girl’s spirits on the day of the dinner.

“Oh no, you are not meeting your future husband looking like that.”

“Why? He has to marry me, anyway.” Joey said, rolling over.

“Go shower. Now. You smell, and if you don’t shower, I will conjure a bucket of ice water and shower you myself.” He said while rummaging through her closet.

Joey frowned, not being used to her brother being so authoritarian, but she did as he said, too tired to argue with him.

Even though she would never admit it, the shower did make her feel better, and the dress her brother chose made her feel like a real life princess.

“You have to do your clown paint on your own, I have no idea what that stuff is.” He said gesturing to her makeup and for the first time in eleven days Joey chuckled.

She was just doing her eye makeup as her mother came in, a sad smile decorating her face. “You never asked who.”

“Does it matter?” Joey asked, applying mascara.

“It’s Regulus Black.”

Joey almost poked her eye out as she heard that. Her heart hammered desperately against her chest.

“Why not Sirius?” Quentin asked the question Joey wanted to ask so desperately. “Isn’t he the oldest?”

Her mother made a sound with her mouth, “We discussed this matter but Sirius and his family have a complicated relationship, they want regulus to make the proud.”

And Joey felt like her heart broke all over again. She was so close to getting what she wanted, yet destiny had ripped it away from her again. If this was a story, the Author had to be downright cruel to put her through this.

-

At the Black Mansion Sirius - for the first time in his life felt completely and utterly broken. Hot tears ran down his face, and he couldn’t contain the sobs coming out of his mouth.

He almost didn’t notice his Mother coming in hitting him with the stupid Black family ring she was so proud of turning it outward so it would leave deep cuts on his cheeks.

“Crying is something for muggles and weaklings. Not for Blacks.” She screeched, but he didn’t care, he never cared for anything his parents wanted or said, he only cared for her and his friends and maybe Regulus even though his loyalty to their parents could be infuriating sometimes.

“We have guests this evening. If you aren’t on your best behavior, I will crucio you right in front of them.” His mother sneered, and Sirius knew from experience that she meant what she said.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” His Mother grabbed her wand and Sirius bit his lip till it started bleeding.

“Yes, ma’am.” he grumbled quietly, just hoping that she would disappear soon so he could be sad in peace.

Walburga strutted out of the room, locking the door behind her, making Sirius sigh.

He looked around his room trying to ground himself, the red gryffindor flags, the muggle band posters from bands he didn’t know just to spite his mother, the pictures of the Marauders and of course the pictures of Joey that he didn’t yet have the heart to take down, her smile illuminating the whole room even through a picture. Tears filled his eyes again, yet he didn’t dare to cry. Instead, he got out his wand, muttering some spells to heal the wounds.

A few hours later Sirius was well aware of how horrible he looked, skin pale, deep rings under the eyes and his usually shiny hair hanging matted over his eyes, this look being further enhanced while standing next to his brother who looked more and more like Sirius every day, sharing his aristocratic features. But other than Sirius;, Regulus looked amazing, his tie in place, his hair combed and his shoes cleaned.

Sirius saw the disgusted face his mother gave him before gushing about Regulus and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished at his disheveled appearance that hopefully would disgust any weird poor blood family her mother invited for today.

“Adrian, Cordelia! How nice to see you.” Walburga greeted, making Sirius’ blood run cold at the mention of Joey’s parents’ names; and really just behind the two middle-aged wizards and next to Quentin, the girl of his dreams, stood. Her usually wavy hair was curled and neatly pinned up, leaving just a few strands to frame her beautiful face.

Sirius stood there frozen as the other people greeted each other. Joey stiffly shook his hand. Her eyes looking cold and disinterested, just like the first time Sirius saw her at the pureblood ball.

Joey, on the other hand, felt immensely grateful for her brother standing beside her, as she didn’t know where she should look. She was scared to look in Regulus eyes seeing the familiar cold and steely gaze of her future husband and even though she wanted to, she knew looking in Sirius’ eyes would just open up a Pandora’s box of feelings.

The dinner went over like a blur, Walburga asking lots of questions that were being answered politely, mostly by Cordelia.

As dessert came - crème brûlée, finally the point of the entire dinner was made clear.

“Josephine, Regulus, as you both know we arranged a marriage between you two, binding two of the most pureblood families together by law.” Orion said, his voice cold and calculated just like Regulus’ voice was. Sirius started coughing uncontrollably, choking on the water he just tried to drink, earning himself dirty looks from the pureblood parents, Orion especially looking at Sirius like Walburga looked at discounter clothes. “Don’t mind my son, he doesn’t take news like a gentleman, another reason why we chose regulus over him.”

Joey looked up from her plate - the first time this evening and her mask broke for a short second and Sirius saw how deeply horrified she looked before she went back to smiling politely with the same cold disinterested eyes every pureblood kid learned to have at a young age.

“We expect you to be a pleasant couple till you marry, no drama or other nonsense.” Orion continued.

“Josephine, darling, I suspect your parents already informed you about the risks of acting out?” Walburga asked, and Joey’s stomach turned at her sickly sweet voice. Her eyes automatically found Sirius’ for comfort, but his eyes were clouded with shock and something Joey could only interpret as realization.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Very well, how about you two go up to Regulus’ room to get to know each other better, while we discuss the details of the engagement party?”

Regulus nodded wordlessly, taking his future fiancée’s hand leading her up the stairs so familiar of the noble house of black, into his room.

It was the first time that Joey saw a room except the ball room and Sirius’ room and she was impressed at how unimpressive the room looked. The walls were empty except a Slytherin flag over his bed; the room was almost hauntingly neat, and she didn’t see even one personal item.

“I apologize for all of this.” Regulus said, looking at the stoic girl in front of him.

“No need to apologize.” She whispered, her voice sounding hoarse as she took in the room, looking anywhere but into the boys’ eyes.

“I’m sure no girl wants to have that kind of proposal.”

She chuckled at the absurdity of his words, sitting down on his bed, surprised at the softness of the mattress, yet shuddering at the thought of her having to have sex with him on that mattress - or anywhere, for that matter.

“We are practically engaged and you don’t even know my favorite color.” She said, looking into his eyes for the first time this evening.

There was a deep breath, and then Regulus sat beside her.

“Josephine-“

“Why are you marrying me?”

He looked shocked at the question and Joey wished she could take the words back, knowing that she crossed a line and being basically the property of Regulus now, she should maybe at least try to keep the comments to herself.

“Josephine, it’s what our parents want from us.”

“Nobody calls me Josephine, except my parents.” Joey whispered, her voice restrained from the fear pulsing through her body.

“I know, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to call you that.”

Joey looked into his steely eyes, and they looked surprisingly soft and understanding. And a small glimmer of hope tugged at her heartstrings.

“Why do you care what I want? Am I now not your property?” The words came out harder than she intended, and Regulus flinched slightly.

“I’m not a monster.”

Joey stayed silent.

She was glad, as Walburga called them downstairs, looking at them as if she just won the lottery.

“Splendid news, we will hold the engagement party in one week.”, Joey forced a smile but by the falling face of Walburga she could already tell that it came out more like a grimace, “and the even better news is that you will spend all summer with us so you and Regulus can bond and have some appearances as a couple before you marry.”

Joey’s stomach turned. Spending all summer with the guy they forced her to marry, her ex boyfriend who still gave her butterflies and their psychopathic parents sounded like a nightmare.

“We will have a guest room ready.” Orion added coldly, and from the corner of her eye she saw Sirius exhaling in something that looked like relief.

“Oh no, we aren’t in the eighties anymore. She can sleep in Regulus room, they can practice for their wedding night.” Walburga grinned wolfishly, and Joey felt so sick she was sure she would throw up all over the carpet.

Masterlist

Part 6

Let me know if you want to be on the taglist for this story :)

[whore4batfam]

Tagged by @thelittleredheadedmusician! Thank you, I didn’t want to work and this is a perfect distraction~

How many works do you have on Ao3?

34, I believe

What's your total Ao3 word count?

106,218

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Batman, Star Wars, Greek mythology

What are your top five fics by kudos?

she’s like a shine on your shoes (or hearing the blues)

trix yoghurt story

Forever Today, Never Tomorrow

Lost Stars

18 (Beginnings and Endings)

(besides the first one, these are all very old)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sometimes! I get busy often, but sometimes it’s nice to respond to comments. Especially if they point something out in the story that made them feel something, or have a question. I’m anonymous on all my work, so I don’t think people expect me to respond as much. And, well, the idea is to cultivate an experience just with the story and not necessarily with me, so it’s a half and half sort of dynamic.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Mmm…I think maybe Son of Gotham, but I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s angsty. Ashes Ashes (We All Fall Down) also isn’t necessarily angsty, though there is character death. The Price of Velvet Walls might be what fits the “angsty” type, because there isn’t really any resolution, so we’ll go with that one.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I don’t, sadly!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A long time ago, when I was 13 or so. We called them “flames” back then 😂 I feel like it was just an excuse for miserable people to feel a bit powerful, but nowadays I haven’t had much hate. I have had folks be upset with the direction the story goes, which can be understandable because you get so invested. I have had people talk about their frustration with how the characters are behaving while acknowledging that it’s in character and being kind to me as the author, but I don’t mind that a bit! I’ve also had folks accuse me of stealing (because I’m anonymous) and very angry with me, which is actually nice to see how vehemently they protected someone else’s/my own work. I’ve explained that the writing I post actually belongs to me before and I probably will again lol

The only time I ever got angry was when someone made an incest joke, and I was quite upset at that. Stuff like that isn’t funny, so I deleted the comment and made it a point to say that I wouldn’t accept anything of that nature.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do not. I struggle with romance, but the older I get the more I understand it. Like real romance, not what people think as romance. Plus, smut is centered around voyeurism and often degradation as a method, and that’s not my cup of tea.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but I do see my headcanons and drabbles in stories all the time 😂 I don’t think they know that it’s mine, or even where it came from. It’s sort of cool to see my ideas become a part of a “culture” so I don’t mind.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Once, they asked to translate Son of Gotham and then disappeared off tumblr forever so I don’t know where the translation is 😅😂

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fandom fic, but I write with my friends alllllll the time

What's your all time favorite ship?

Uh…hmmm. Recently I’ve been into Jane Austen couples, the sort of elegance while maintaining a realistic relationship. I also love Anne/Gilbert, Han/Leia…I always blank with this question.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

All of them 😂😂 

What are your writing strengths?

People have said that they like my dialogue (how “messy” it is), and how every character isn’t demonized or made to be perfect. Everyone struggles in their own way, and Simone Weil said something once about how we rarely give people understanding or truly look at them without pity or frustration. To look and understand is one of the rarest forms of human links, and thus love, I suppose. That might be the quote, I’m working off the top of my head so it’s probably not quite right!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Motivation. I’m busy and get tired easily, and I flit from project to project like a butterfly. I think one thing I struggled with in the past has been my writing not living up to my original idea. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to work with refining and accepting that it is good as it is, aka this came from me and it still has value. I think often too things are more organic when writing, and intuitively you know where the story ought to go beyond what you thought was best. I also “overdo” things the first time around, and I rarely have patience to edit before I post 😂

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t have any strong opinions on it, though I think it’s nice to try to get it right! I’m American so I am monolingual, and would likely need to do a lot of research/gain help from a native speaker. Basically, just be respectful with any language you use.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

American Girl. I was eleven 🥺

What's your favourite fic you've ever written?

Oof, tough question. Tbh I love a lot of the stuff I’ve written with my friends (fanfic of their worlds). I like the utter ridiculousness of the trix yoghurt fics, I like the silliness of birds all sing, I like the artistic direction of Son of Gotham, I like the feelings dark side of the morning has. Ultimately I really like she’s like a shine on your shoes, because it’s given me an opportunity to explore a lot more dynamics that I haven’t really paid attention to in canon, and discover more truths amongst characters that are accurate to real world experiences and people too. So that would be my answer!

I tag @hollyhock13 and whomever else would like to do it!