#i wrote this when i was hyperfixating over the movie and only found it now because i'm writing another long thing in drafts

[davidwontstopwritingsongs]

so in cantonese it's called 奇異女俠玩救宇宙. lets break that DOWN

the tweet i saw about it translated it as "wacky woman fucks around and saves the world". is that an accurate translation? well… yes and no.

let's start with 奇異. you'll also notice it in films like doctor strange (奇異博士). a rough translation would be wacky/weird, yes. or strange if you will. but it also has connotations to magic, the supernatural, interesting things, things outside the realm of reality. something singular, unique. and that fits with the film so well.

女俠 next. 女 means woman. not very much to say here. 俠 if you google it would mean something like brave, hero, etc. not a huuuuge amount to analyse in this part apart from the fact that 俠 is used in the title of every single superhero movie (spiderman is 蜘蛛侠, iron man is 鐵甲奇俠, so on and so forth) so i guess a cantonese person seeing this movie title would assume it was somewhat superhero-y. ("to be fair, it does have quite good action scenes" - my friend who had to have this post infodumped to them at 2am before i decided to post it on tumblr)

NOW THE NEXT BIT. THE BIT THAT INSPIRED THIS UNHINGED 2AM DEEP DIVE. 玩救. THIS IS WHERE THE FUCKS AROUND AND SAVES THE WORLD BIT COMES FROM. 玩 means to play. 救 means to save. so she's playing around and saving something. cool.

but wait, because this is actually an EXTREMELY CLEVER PUN. you see, 救 is pronounced "gou" in cantonese. you want to know another word that is pronounced "gou"? and not just after you fuck around with tones, but actually in the exact same pronounciation? 夠. now what is the significance of that you may ask?

玩救 itself is not a word/phrase. 玩夠, however, is. same pronounciation so it fits into the wordplay. 玩夠 means literally to have "played enough/finished playing". basically you're done, you're moving on. but that is the centre of evelyn's struggle! she doesn't think she's done anything with her life, she constantly rues the fact that she could have done so much more and she didn't! evelyn HASN'T 玩夠 life yet. she wants to do it all, to live all those lifetimes. and it is through living all those lifetimes and finding enlightment that she 玩夠, and thus is also able to 救 the universe.

and then 宇宙 is universe. like the whole universe. there's only one universe in this translation. i'm not quite sure how you would articulate multiple universes in cantonese.

anyway the person who made this title translation was IMMENSELY clever

[squichymochi]

It’s been a few years since I wrote something and English isn’t my first language. Also first time I am writing/posting something on tumblr 😅

Anyway Hazbin is my new hyperfixation, so I’ve written something 👉🏻👈🏻

Warning: Mentions of death and murder as well as sex toys, but nothing too out of the ordinary for this show.

Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 1.070

Idea from: @this-hazbin-quoted

"What in the heavens is that?" Your voice carried a mix of curiosity and concern as you stepped into the hotel's living room, your eyes instantly drawn to the shiny, noisy object that had captivated everyone's attention.

Charlie, Vaggie, Sir Pentious, and Angel Dust were scattered around a brand new, fancy-looking television. The device looked out of place amid the hotel's usual furnishings. *Your husband will be more than just pissed when he sees this,* you thought, a wry smile tugging at your lips. *Understatement of the century*.

"We got it because Sir Pentious wanted to show us something new called Netflix," Charlie explained, her eyes twinkling. Her excitement was infectious, but you remained skeptical. "And what better than a movie evening huddled up together as a bonding activity," she added, her arms dancing through the air to emphasize her point.

"Mhhh," you hummed noncommittally, drifting towards the bar where Husk had already prepared your favorite drink - a dark, smoky whiskey that promised a momentary escape from the madness of Hell. You let yourself fall onto one of the bar stools, the leather creaking under your weight. "I don’t know if this is such a good idea," you mumbled, the warm liquid burning a path down your throat, leaving a trail of bitterness.

"I tried talking them out of it, but they’ve been glued to this nonsense for hours," Husk grumbled, his tail swishing in visible irritation. He poured another drink, his movements more mechanical than thoughtful.

Raising an eyebrow, you turned to observe the group. Angel Dust was lounging on the sofa, his posture relaxed. "Well, first we were watching a documentary about sextoys," he began, only to be cut off by Vaggie's death promising glare. "But since everyone's acting prudish, we switched to something else," he finished, rolling his eyes dramatically.

The group was mesmerised by the screen, their expressions a mix of fascination and horror. Husk slid another drink towards you, his own bottle now halfway to empty. "When Alastor gets back, I'm not going to be a part of this circus," he growled, taking a long swig.

Your attention was snapped back to the TV by a dark, ominous voice. "Until this day, nobody knows what happened to the man. All that was found were his glasses and one of his shoes, floating in the river."

A sense of familiarity washed over you, and you slid off the stool, drawn to the group huddled around the TV.

The story was unnervingly familiar, like a half-remembered dream. Squinting, you joined them on the sofa. "Want some?" Angel offered, extending a bowl of popcorn towards you as you took a seat next to him. You grabbed a handful, tossing them into your mouth. But as the storyteller uttered the victim's name, the popcorn lodged in your throat, triggering a fit of coughing.

"Hey there, toots, usually you choke on something that is a bit more substantial," Angel said with a snort, patting your back. "You alright, Y/N? We can switch to something else if this is too much," Charlie offered, her fingers hovering over the remote, concern written all over her face.

"No, no, it's fine!" you sputtered, your cheeks flushing with a mix of embarrassment and surprise. If only they knew why that name shocked you.

Time drifted by as you all settled into watching "True Crimes Unsolved." The room was dimly lit, casting eerie shadows that danced along with the flickering images on the screen. You found yourself huddled under a blanket with Angel Dust, both of you gradually growing more tired by the hour, your eyes heavy with sleep.

Suddenly, a jarring static noise pierced the quiet, sending shivers down your spine. You looked up, startled, to see your husband, Alastor, perched at the edge of the sofa. His smile was strained, a forced mask over his growing irritation.

"May someone enlighten me as to why we have this grotesque picture device here?" His voice, was filled with static, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

"Darling," you started, hoping to diffuse the tension, but Charlie, ever the optimist, was already bounding over with her usual infectious enthusiasm and of course undying charm. You could see Alastor's eye twitch slightly, a sign of his growing annoyance.

Alastor's mood shifted suddenly, his attention captured by the story on the screen. "Oh, I remember this one. He tasted rather delightful," he said with a giggle that was as unsettling as it was genuine. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, every eye turning to Alastor, who was now fixated on the TV.

"Didn't he, darling?" Alastor squeezed in between you and Angel, wrapping an arm around you. Your face flushed a bright shade of red, and you desperately avoided everyone's gaze. "Ha, they never found him. I told you, darling, burying his bones beneath a protected area was a brilliant idea!”

Before he could continue, you jumped to your feet. "Alright, that's enough for today. Time for bed," you declared, your voice trembling nervously. Alastor's grin widened, the mockery clear in his eyes.

As the room cleared, Angel Dust leaned in, his grin mischievous. "Never took you for the type, toots. But hey, we're all sinners down here," he teased, patting your head with a genuine and friendly smile.

Finally alone, you collapsed onto the sofa beside Alastor. "You didn't have to tell them," you pouted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and annoyance.

Alastor leaned in close, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Darling, you're my wife. They already have to know," he chuckled, his hand gently caressing your cheek.

Time passed, and Alastor wrapped an arm around you, his gaze softening as he looked down at you. "Do you want to see how many more of them are people we've dealt with together?" he asked, a hint of fondness in his voice.

You snuggled closer, resigning yourself to watching a few more episodes. But Alastor's final comment about the television lingered in the air. "This device will be gone tomorrow. I'm not fond of it," he said, the static in his voice sending yet again a thrill through you.

You buried your face in his button up shirt. "Not every new technology is a threat," you murmured. His only response was a haunting stare. Sighing, you kissed the corner of his mouth. "Fine, podcasts it is, then," you said with a chuckle.

Thanks for reading my little drabble ☺️

[darkpoisonouslove]

1, 2, 7, 8, 24, 25, 27 for fic writing asks :) Hope you’re feeling better!

Thanks!

1.the last sentence you wrote

Well, I posted the last fic I worked on so here's the last sentence(s) from my Fallen Love Chapter 3 doc:

Her head spun from just the couple inches her heels added to her height. She’d bet on practicality for years but combat boots would only take her back to the battlefield. They simply didn’t make sense without the threat of war hanging over her head.

(I was going to play by the rules but the angst doesn't really hit with just the last sentence so...)

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Oh, my god, I've got nothing for this. I have been sick for over a week. Before that I was barely working on that Erendor x Samara fic I wanted to finish. Tbh my head has been way more into House of the Dragon (heaven knows why when the writers are hacks) than any of my own stuff. Like, I am hyperfixating in the most annoying way where I'm not coming up with fic, I'm not really analyzing the text that much, I'm just rotating the same thought in my head like it's a microwave that doesn't work and I'm hoping the heat generated by the rotating motion itself will be enough to cook my fucking thought.

But yeah, if we're talking about actual writing, then I'd have to go with Griffin since Fallen Love is all from her PoV (and so are all of my other recent Griffin x Valtor ideas, which are all I have). She's, uh... She's having a bad time and I don't know how to make it better. The good news is that I don't have to yet but at some point she's going to have to figure out what to do with her life now that she's not at war every day and I. Don't. Know what I'll do then. For now she's having Realizations TM but those are def spoilers.

7. your preferred writing fonts

I don't have any. Unless the one that's already set isn't an abomination, I just don't care. I'm using Libre Office and my default is Liberation Serif so I'm just using that.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

I suppose that fics that already have sequels planned don't count? I have several for which I'd write an AU but a sequel? Let's see.

Yeah, nope, I'll have to pick something from those that I've already thought of continuing.

Originally, Imitation Play was supposed to have a sequel but I decided that I don't have a clear enough idea for it so I've left it alone. I already have enough other stuff to work on but if I had to write a sequel to something I've already finished, I'd look at that one and try to figure out how to continue it.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Usually watch movies. Way more rarely read a book or fanfic. But if I'm looking to spark thoughts, then listen to a playlist or even make a moodboard (which I haven't really done recently). Recently I found out that spending time and having fun with your family can really charge you like nothing else. Huh, who would've thunk?

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

There's watching movies and reading books. DIY. Drawing. Playing various games (sudoku, mahjong, jenga, crossword puzzles, chess occasionally). A couple more that I'd feel like a fraud if I list because it's really been years since I've done them.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

It's what would fall under outlining. When I'm making sense of the story and adding ideas, tying plot points together and just weaving it all into one. I like seeing how it comes together into a coherent story and since it's not super serious at that point, I don't have to stress out that much. I'm just throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. And then arranging the stuff that sticks into a coherent, beautiful pattern. I like that!

send me fic writer asks

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Get to Know the Unknowable!!

14 DEC 2023 Lest I ever forget this momentous day

Hey so I found a list of weird unambiguous questions so we're doing a get-to-know-the-blogger thing for shits and giggles, which I guess I'll link in my masterlist or something.

Gonna include some blog-driven questions first and then just delve straight into what-the-actual-fuck territory.

Here we goooooooooooo

Fandoms?

One Piece Live Action is the only one I'm actively writing right now, largely for my own sanity. Fandoms I also write for include One Piece anime/manga (of course, though I'm painfully behind), Death Note, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Seven Deadly Sins anime, Durarara!, Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross, and maybe some others I might remember and add later or something. Feel free to make a random ask request for literally anything listed, there's a chance I might end up responding to it. But OPLA is my hyperfixation at the moment, with a little spice added here and there from manga. I make my own canon, don't like it then sail on.

Genres?

Oh fuck me up, I will write any genre. My original work is primarily horror, sometimes with a touch or fantasy or science fiction, almost always with a splash of crime. Fanfiction often revolves around romance, but if you want something niche, DEAR GODS TELL ME I WANT TO PARTAKE especially if it's horror please ask me to write horror

Reply time to ask requests?

My life is very chaotic right now, and thus therefore also is my reply time. Do not get disheartened if I write a few headcanons and/or a one-shot or two before I get to your request. Writing is very much a coping mechanism for me, so I write what I feel. That does NOT mean I'm not interested in your request, it just means that I want to make sure I'm in the right mindset to do it justice because I love you people and the fact that you like the shit I'm shoveling makes me so unreasonably happy.

Are you really an ageless unknowable horror?

Yes. We get into fandoms, too. Eternity gets fucking boring okay don't judge. Especially when your bff has been napping for LITERAL CENTURIES WOULD YOU WAKE UP ALREADY YOU TENTACLED DIPSHIT I'M STARTING TO RELATE TO THESE MORTALS AND IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE

What is the most ridiculous nightmare you have ever had?

Actually I wrote a whole ass horror story about it, which I might share here someday. So there was this epidemic of huge windstorms one night that knocked out the power in a handful of small towns around the world. Then the next day there were these weird little black rocks, oval shaped, about an two inches long and one inch wide. Smooth like river rocks with a white line running through them, just scattered around the towns here and there. Not super noticeable, not tons of them, but just enough that they looked out of place. If one came in contact with your skin, e.g. you picked one up or kicked one up into your shoe, you'd get this weird little pinprick of pain just behind your left shoulder. Three nights later, at precisely 2:43 in the morning (nonidea why, but it was 2:43, Inwill never forget that), you hear footsteps. Quick footsteps, small footsteps, coming toward wherever you happen to be, and then you're asleep. Then you wake up the next missing a limb or an organ, no signs of any injury or surgery or anything, just like it was never there to begin with (and obviously if itbwas a major organ then you never woke up again at all). There was a lot more detail, the dream was like living in some weird sci-fi horror movie, and it was so vivid that when I woke up from it I literally sat up and jerked away all my covers to make sure I still had all my limbs.

Tell us an embarrassing story.

Seventh grade. Close to the end of the school year. Was reading a book (I think it was The Shining), had one of my ankles crossed over my other knee, didn't realize I was somehow pinching a nerve. Had to stand up at end of class period, and one of my legs had gone completely numb. I stood, took one step, went down like a sack of bricks. The group of boys who used to bully me were all in the class and spent at least a month mocking the spectacle. Still think about that sometimes.

Explain an inside joke you have with a friend or family member.

Any time hubs and I go out together for any reason, one of us inevitably does Rick Sanchez voice "And awwwAAAAAyyy we gooo" before we leave the driveway. No idea how this started. No idea when it will end. I have a feeling we'll still be doing this into our 80s with no idea why.

Tell me your life story in exactly one sentence.

"Oh no, not again."

What is the strangest coincidence that ever happened to you?

Went to the beach when I was seventeen. Was sitting out on the boardwalk playing guitar by myself because toxic family members were doing nothing but argue and fight in our hotel room, I literally just walked out and no one noticed for hours. Was super peaceful. Got into a conversation with two strangers who had just met each other as well and were hanging out, two kind elderly men. As we were talking, I found out that one of them was from my very small hometown in New York and had moved to the beach recently; and the other was from the very small town I lived in at that present time in South Carolina, and had recently moved to the beach. Both of them had moved there at around the same time. I still think about that a lot.

What is your favorite random fact?

Pineapple eats you while you eat it.

What is your useless talent?

I can bend the top joint of all of my fingers without bending the second joint, a la Sith Force Lightning. Arguably it makes me better at music, but I've never had to bend my fingers like that playing guitar, so I disagree.

What is the strangest food combination you enjoy?

I literally have no idea. I'm a tremendous foodie and "strange" is relative when you're willing to eat literally anything put in front of you at least one time just to experience it.

What would you name your heavy metal band?

Plastic Peanutbutter

If you could choose one superpower, what would it be?

Invisibility, so people would like just leave me alone seriously I'm antisocial as shit just give me peace and quiet (not internet people, you guys are cool af)

What is your strangest irrational fear?

Gamma Ray Bursts. Do yourself a favor amd don't Google it. I spent literally two years of middle school fucking petrified of that shit. It still gets under my skin if I think about it too long now.

Describe your most eccentric family member.

It me! 😁 or maybe my niece, but she's basically my personality twin so either way.

Have you ever met a celebrity? Which celebrity would you like to meet?

Nope. But I really would love to have coffee with Stephen King and just talk about life. His On Writing memoir changed everything I thought about writing, taught me that imposter syndrome was a thing, and that even the most talented and successful artists have it. Really I just want to thank him.

What is the craziest thing you ever did on a dare?

Got a tattoo. It's a skeleton key, on the outer side of my right thigh. I have another, but I got that one on a dare. Basically just because why not, and I literally forget it's there sometimes and sort of jump when I notice it.

What is the grossest thing you would do for $100?

Probably eat something super weird. Will literally try anything once, food-wise. In fact I'll usually try it twice, just to be sure.

What songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

Don't ask me that, we'll be here all goddamned year. A few right off hand though are "Doesn't Remind Me" by Audioslave, "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore" by Elton John, "What it's Like" by Everlast, "Gone Away" by The Offspring, and "Vienna" by Billy Joel. I'm also unreasonably hyperfixated on The Fratellis right now because I suddenly remembered they existed a few months ago after more than ten years not hearing them at all and now I know almost their entire discography by heart. They're my feel-good band right now and pretty much all I'm listening to. Yes, there definitely is something wrong with me.

What actor would you choose to play you in your biopic?

Samuel L. Jackson. My life requires hefty use of the word "motherfucker." He might need a wig or two but I think he can handle it.

What is your go-to karaoke song?

I've never karaoked, but probably something from Chris Cornell, Ella Fitzgerald, Jewel, or Fleetwood Mac. Or "American Pie" by Don McLean.

If you were a superhero, who would be your archnemesis?

Probably myself rofl kinda don't like me very much

Create and describe an undercover alias.

Fancy black bowler hat, and a pair of those joke glasses with an attached giant nose and mustache. But like, be completely and totally serious about it, to the point that people are afraid to question you.

What is your most random impulse buy?

Death Note manga, complete box set. I was seventeen. I had money. Many years later and I do not regret it at all and it sits very close to my bedside.

What did you do as a teenager that makes you cringe now?

Let bullying bother me.

What would your warning label say?

"CONTENTS HIGHLY UNSTABLE, DO NOT TOUCH MIGHT TAKE OVER THE KNOWN UNIVERSE ON CONTACT or possibly cry hard to tell"

What is your guilty pleasure?

I don't think I have one. If it brings you happiness, don't waste your time being guilty about it. Just enjoy it and kick anyone who makes fun of you for it directly in the shin-bone. Actually don't do that just ignore them I'm not into violence.

What emoji do you use most often?

Combination of 🙄😒 to signify eyerolling.

Does your family practice any unusual practices?

Does emotional unavailability count asking for a friend

A genie grants you the ability to have infinite amounts of one item. What is it?

Guitar strings. Please. Dear sweet fuck PLEASE

What is your favorite joke?

A big moron and a little moron sit on a bridge. Which one falls off?

The big moron. Because the other one was a little more on.

Aaaaaahahaha

What is the best Halloween costume you ever wore?

Pirate. Always. I have so many clothes tucked in my closet and jewelry hidden away that are strictly there for the sole purpose of putting together an impromptu pirate costume it's honestly kind of sad honestly

What is the most awkward situation you ever found yourself in?

My very very religious mother-in-law noticing that I have a tattoo on my forearm...after SEVEN YEARS. Awkward af, but it was also hilarious.

What is the most ridiculous thing you believed as a child?

My older brother once told me when I was very young that vehicles move by rolling over and over end to end so fast that you don't know it's happening, and crashes happen when they hit a rock or a crack in the road the wrong way. I spent TWO YEARS secretly terrified of getting in a car before finally asking my mom about it and she just sort of sighed and said "oh god please stop listening to your brother"

What is the most outrageous lie you told a child?

I don't know Santa or something? I've got a ton of nieces and nephews. I try not to lie to kids, apart from letting them think magic exists for as long as possible, because everyone deserves to believe that.

What is the dumbest way you injured yourself?

Broke my pinky toe, because my dog got under my foot and I didn't want to step on her paw by accident so I jerked the wrong way

How do you waste time most often?

Probably napping. But given I have trouble sleeping at night that's sorta necessary or something I guess.

[catgirl-yeji]

this shapeshifting vessel is a lie

hi and welcome to my corner of the internet. this blog is still under construction until I can add my about page ( did you know that you have to personally ask support to be allowed to use a page code with javascript in it? :)) well, you do now ) so beware of the construction tape!

I'm Autumn or Faon, I use they/them pronouns and I was born '95. ticked about all the boxes on the queer registration form and I'm currently in a queerplatonic poly relationship. central european & white. future linguistics & politics student, and plant parent. I really adore vampires and I write original and fan fiction, as well as poetry. I speak german and english, and I'm studying french, korean, japanese and finnish. lover of bats, snakes, horsies, deer and cats, as well as sharks. 🦈 I sometimes draw cat ears or fangs onto idols and actors ( see: my icon ), if you'd like me to make you an icon, drop me a DM.

my hyperfixations and interests change over time — yes, it was a phase, mom! name a constant state of being, mom! — and I change my username every two or so years. currently I'm really into the quantum leap spin-off, the motherland: fort salem show, and I'm watching a couple of k-dramas and such at the side. I play baldur's gate 3, stardew valley and control, but also 2064: read only memories.

I was very active in the shadowhunters and the dragon age fandom as well an 00q shipper. I will reblog every single gif of spirit - stallion of the cimarron, it's my childhood movie;; also, Jin Oshiro from STRAY (2019) deserved better, thank you for your attention.

you may know me as leafmiilk, taehdenveri, fliederfuchs or thetevinterelf — and most recently @catboy-jaebeom ! 🌺

tumblr veteran and survivor of the mishapocalypse. I've been renting this space ( occupying, maybe, rather? skjsdlkgs it's not like I pay rent ) since 2012, and trust me when I say: this website is a hellsite, but it's our hellsite, so, I'll stay until the last person switches off the lights, probably. >< a lot of other social media networks just never grew on me quite like tumblr.

I have two sideblogs worth noting: @splittergheist, my writing blog where I post short stories and poems irregularly, and my secret and private miscecanis / omegaverse blog ( a lot more interested in the world-building, concept and lifestyle than the smut, but no hate! ) that I may give out if you ask nicely and privately. also, if you're interested in some tumblr rp, you can message me as well, I have an OC blog for that. 🐰

that said, I tag my posts extensively, so if you need me to tag something, you can shoot me an ask and I'll try to tag specific things for you! please be nice in my inbox or I'll simply delete your ask and block you. 💛 oftentimes I'll message you privately when you send me an ask that doesn't seem like it should be answered publicly ( unless you've sent it on anon ofc ) and while I do answer tag games, I'm too anxious to tag ppl myself unless we're like super close, sorry ><

I track #faon.tagged. if you make ( especially kpop ) content you think I'd like ( itzy, got7, nct & wayv but especially ten, xiaojun and yuta, red velvet, shinee, svt but especially joshua, mingyu and dk, skz but especially hyujin and felix, but also others! ) you can use this tag, I'm always happy to reblog pretty gifs and support you guys, you're the backbone of our and any community.

relevant kpop stuff can be found under the cut, as well as some 'reviews' my lovely mutuals wrote for me ( if you like to leave a review, hit me up in my DMs! ) thank u, ily 💚🌼

and thank you everyone else for reading this, may your days be bright, I think we could all use that at the moment;; I'd super love new ppl to talk to ( pls have your age or an approximate in your bio! while I'm fine with talking to minors, I'd like to know beforehand if I do ), so message me!!

kpop stuff

ult group: got7

other groups I like: nct 127, itzy, wayv, shinee, red velvet, seventeen, oneus, ...

soloists I adore: xia / kim junsu, taemin, ...

biases: lim jaebeom & choi youngjae; nakamoto yuta & xiaojun; kang seulgi; hwang yeji & lee chaeryeong; joshua hong & lee seokmin; choi minho & lee taemin; kim leedo & lee seoho; park seonghwa & jeong yunho; kanemoto yoshi; ...

wreckers: mark tuan & kim yugyeom; ten lee; kim mingyu & lee woozi; kang yeosang & song mingi; shin ryujin; ...

for as long as xitter still exists, I can be found under jaebueomgi.

blog reviews

@meant-to-be-a-hero wrote on november 22nd:

Shall I compare Autumn's blog to a summer's day? I shall not, because I am not a hack. Equal parts language jokes, kpop boys (and girls, but I don't look at those) and #bitter millennial blogging, there's something for everyone here at Autumn's blog. They are also one of the few people who still write funky things in the tags, a true dying breed on Tumblr. I feel like I'm reviewing a restaurant or something. Either way, click follow, thank me later, because you will. It's a good blog, Bront.

— ★★★★★(★★) [ 7 out of 5 ]

@klutenpetter wrote on november 22nd:

It seems I have misplaced the URL of the blog in question that I was supposed to review.

— ★★★★★ [ 5 out of 5 ]

[tvrningout-a]

Rules, tag 10 followers  you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: i stole it from the lovely @viciousbite! Tagging: @vonerde @fanaticist @ofpersistence @resolutepath @staggerbackwards @sozokami @sociieties @killedarlings @manneatcr @lunarscaled, @hedevil-ism/@malxshrine, and anyone who hasn't done it!

Name: bel ( can you guess where i got my alias :) )

Star Sign: virgo with cancer rising and scorpio moon and man does it show

Height: 4'9'' /  145 cm  

Middle name?: since i like y'all, i'll tell you uvu it's marie ( pronounced muh-ree )!

Put your itunes/spotify/youtube on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

piece of intent by kenichiro suehiro

like crazy by jimin

truth by ramin djawadi

wonderwall by j2 and miranda dianne

a new way ( acoustic ) by morgxn

baby good night by b1a4

Ever had a poem or song written about you: funnily enough, yes! in fifth grade, my crush wrote a poem about me called " blue eyes, " which was very sweet and also how i found out everyone thought i had blue eyes instead of green asdfg  

When was the last time you played air guitar: i did the other day bc i was messing around while getting too hyped over some songs :' ))

Who is your celebrity crush?: i have a lot of people i admire, but p.ark j.imin ( and b.t.s as a whole ) is about the only one who is on my mind regularly uvu

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: i love the sound of thunderstorms and actually listen to them to go to sleep! i hate the sound of dogs barking or people chewing, but specifically when i'm tired bc i get overstimulated? irritated? very very fast. typically most sounds don't really upset me, though.

Do you believe in ghosts?: unfortunately asdf my sister keeps joking she's got a friendly spirit hanging around her and i believe it tbh 

How about aliens: i don't necessarily believe they're lil green guys, but i do believe there's gotta be life somewhere else. space is too vast for there not to be!

Do you drive?: i'm working on that, but not at the moment.

if so have you ever crashed: nope!

What was the last book you read?: i caught up on j.jk the other day, but i really should pick up something else. i just haven't had much motivation tbh. if we're talking novels, though, i read the time machine for class.

Do you like the smell of gasoline: ...maybe 

What was the last movie you saw?: i watched umma with my mom the other day, and it was pretty good! it's a supernatural horror movie. 

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: i twisted my ankle pretty bad a few years ago. i had to stay off my feet, and if i moved, i had to use crutches. how'd i hurt myself?? took one step onto a trampoline asdfg

Do you have any obsessions right now?: i've had r.esident e.vil 4 on the brain bc of the remake, and i have been thinking about j.jk quite a bit, too. demon slayer is a long-standing hyperfixation ofc :' ) i've also!! been thinking about yubari and other supernatural/fantasy oc's a lot.

[fangirlies]

Hi, bestie!! I'm here :^)

Shit, sorry!! I didn't think this whole ask thing through... for some reason I thought it'd be better to not flood with asks and united them😥 my bad!

But I'm so happy that you're doing good with the move and that you're finding your peace at a new place! That's all you can ask for. Starting a nee chapter is always so hard, but also so rewarding, I wish this place to bring you comfort, exciting experience and good memories to cherish in the future💜 Hope decorating and brining out the character goes smoothly! Live your best life, bestie!!

And thank you for spending time and answering my silly thoughts in such details. I hope I don't bother you with them, please don't feel pressured that you need to write them all! I love and adore everything that you write (btw, I'm also that recent jealous xavi anon), it is so beautifully done and idk, like a comfort blanket around me, you just have that writing style! Also, your mind is sexy😏 But I know you said that you're a bit in a slump right now and I hope I don't bother or pressure you with these prompts, I want you to be comfortable.

I like talking to you! You're so funny and nice💜 damn, I don't know what to tell about myself... this new year I made a lot of resolutions, but all I'm fulfilling is a part of watching more movies💀 because watching movies/shows is rather hard for me, especially alone. I get distracted and bored easily, so I need some kind of connection to the thing I want to watch to finish it (i have so many shows that I abandonedj. And me hyperfixating on one thing for a long period of time really doesn't help me to get engrossed in something new. I don't why it's like that and how to explain it properly😂 but, yeah, at least I'm doing this, bit I wish I rather read more books... do you have movie or books recommendations? What type of movies and books do you like?

I don't know how to distinct myself, except saying that I'm Elliot anon😂 maybe you could give me a nickname, however being Elliot anon is also nice!

My sweet anon! I’ve missed you (I’m clingy)

It’s completely fine! I wasn’t going to write something for it at first because you described it so well but I pictured it perfectly in my head and decided to roll with it. And then I wanted to answer your question so I separated it bc again, I’m a freak who wanted to give you a detailed answer.

You’re SO right about new chapters being challenging but rewarding. Many people can’t say they love change and I’m not one of them. I love to change things every so often, it gives me something to look forward to. Thank you for your kindhearted wishes! 🫶🏻

Please never feel like you bother me with your thoughts. It’s always fun to write short little blurbs that I can’t make into a whole fic. I love simple and innocent moments like the last one I wrote out. Thank you for enjoying anything I put out there! It truly means so much to me, you have no idea. Trust me, being on tumblr and talking to you guys makes me smile! Each and every one of you hold a special place in my heart.

I thought I was the only one who couldn’t sit through a whole movie!! This felt comforting lol. And the part about needing a connection to a movie/show, I used to not continue watching things if there wasn’t a cute guy to obsess over 🫣 reading books isn’t for everyone just like watching movies isn’t for us lol! Maybe you just haven’t found one you’re extremely into! Not all resolutions can be fulfilled but luckily we’re only in March! Who knows what other one you can scratch off your list! I’m rooting for uuu<3 Unfortunately I have no movie recs but for books- I’m a poetry lover!! When I get my bookshelf I’ll share my collection with you guys but for now Reyna Biddy has changed my life! She seriously puts emotions into perfect words. So if you’d like to search her up on ig just to get a feel for some of her work her @ is reynabiddy!

I love your Elliot anon nick name but if you’d like to pick an emoji and sign off on all your anon asks, you’re more than welcome to! I only have 🍓 taken. The rest is yours to choose from my sweet anon!

[hexonthepeach]

Hello! It's me again, the one from the last ask who ran out of positive adjectives to describe your masterpieces.

I have since then devoured and thoroughly enjoyed your notes on the ncta, and I'm so excited about all of that wonderful worldbuilding!

I also found your introduction, and I didn't know you're autistic! I am, too. I am also very shy, and in my case that has severely limited my life experience.

That made me kind of self-conscious about my writing — thoughts like "if I can't read people well, how can I write them?" or "would this thought process even make sense to anyone else?"

Would you say absorbing those things from movies and written work is enough? Additionally, how can I have my hyperfixations work for my writing not against it?

I'm so sorry for rambling, I hope you have a nice day! 🌷🤍

first and foremost thank you so much you really are such a good soul to come in with all of the adjectives i really feel like crying right now at how kind and real that is when I feel so undeserving of them.

thank you thank you thank you over and over again (and also sorry if i include both asks in one i want to make sure i answer you well and don't miss anything) but also apologies for not being able to make this brief

not to be narcissistic but i'm really grateful you read my lore and notes. it's one of the few things that i go back to ground myself knowing that i don't always have the energy to write but getting it out there has been meaningful. i wrote my fic over 8 months so i had a lot of time to think about things and edit and go back to ideas but the gist is i'm not a super good writer with a lot of references, i just let things carry me when i'm lucky enough to find them and pick and edit when i can.

not sure if you are familiar with the baader-meinhof phenomenon but there were a lot of weird moments writing out that first draft where i was wondering if the universe might be smiling on my absolutely weird delusional self-insert fantasy. knowing people have enjoyed reading it has been helpful, so again thank you so much

i'm going to answer your questions as honestly as i can as someone who realized they were autistic after i turned 30-something and am still struggling with my own internal questions about what that means, as well as how i approach the rest of my life. like i knew when i was a kid but they didn't really have the language for it then for afab persons, they just put you in special classes and testing and thought it was funny you could memorize full books you read. for a long time i desperately wanted to be "normal" and there might still be a space in my heart that does regardless of how angry it makes me to think it's necessary

so, that said, i was able to have a lot of life experiences. pretending to be normal, and sometimes not. but it felt like, and still feels like, they were at a great cost.

one of the pivotal experiences for me back in 201x when i reached my burnout mode as an afab adult was learning from other f-presenting asd persons about how socialization constructs our experiences. we learn how to wear masks and we learn how to read people and we learn how to say things separate from our own, personal sense of self. i really thought that was the way the world worked for a long time and was maybe lucky enough or maybe cursed enough to be called out on it multiple times as an adult. it made me more cognizant of the fact that when other people are present, my only desire is to disappear

this kind of mentality is also pretty common from people who have been through abuse and trauma (which unfortunately i have also been through) but when you're a self-actualized adult as a child/teen because your brain is working more than people expect it to, it's normal to feel lost. and it does get worse when you try to be "normal".

im luckily older so i don't feel compelled to fit in and have made friends with a lot of other neurodivergent individuals. but what ive also found though is what is "normal" doesn't really exist and questioning it is really more of a gift than anything. it's why a lot of autistic individuals don't feel bound by concretization of gender or sexuality or societal constructs in general, or feel bound to them from some ethical or moral framework that doesn't actually exist. so when i think about the correct way to apply what ive observed i dont always feel bound to it, i guess?

that's how i write, and how i will imagine people is sort of existing outside of those boxes

i think i may have already answered your question in terms of "how can my hyperfixations work for my writing not against it?" but just to belabor the point a little more

fiction exists as a liminal space where we can experience things without being personally affected by them. and if you have difficulty, like i do, reacting to anything as it happens when you do find the courage to participate, oftentimes you will find yourself in a place where a performance makes the most sense.

ive always really enjoyed theater and media for that reason as well as transformative writing because it does have a level of self-actualization. i honestly think imitation is the highest form of flattery as well so that’s why i pull a lot of other work in but on an introspective level i think it makes sense why i hyperfixated on kpop for the last few years because it's the unreality that makes it special. 

when you know what it takes to be something you are not, you understand that there is a person underneath--acting or writing or performing--that you cannot and do not need to involve, and you are free to take the skin off of it or a surface level reading and make it your own. but it’s also something to relate to and even if i don’t always have the words to describe how i feel i think those emotions are still there and can be invoked by studying the way others present them

and not to be too forward with my advice but the best i've received in the past for writing is to be authentic to yourself without fear of judgment. because even if you believe you don't have an audience, there are always people out there who will have a similar experience. don't be afraid to idealize situations you have not been in and walk yourself through with a hand held internally through it. no one is going to give you a quiz or a test at the end, they'll just be grateful you helped them through it, too if you share it with them

i legitimately am rambling now but it's so nice to meet you and i hope i gave you a little bit of courage to continue creating, as you do me

bless, and thank you

[gettothedancing]

Back from the real world!

And I got some venting to do!

SO. I didn’t have Internet except at work (where I’m not supposed to be on it when not on break, a rule I broke a lot and feel only slightly bad about) for about 3 weeks. And this happened about the same time as the death of Kazuki Takahashi. Who created my favorite manga, and the first anime/show I loved as a child that wasn’t something my parents picked out for me.

I know my blog is a heady mix of politics and fanart and real art and a bunch of things now. But when I started out, and I was afraid to post anything political, I was following mostly Yu-Gi-Oh! fanblogs. (And Communismkills. Love her.) I’ve posted a lot less about YGO over time. This is partly because of the Obsession Cycle (see below) and partly because I am influenced by the content that people I like post. Hence why I got more political from following CK, more artistic from following art blogs, etc.

The Obsession Cycle is a cycle of hyperfixations on certain stories that I love more than any others. Although new stories are often added to the cycle, making it longer or shorter, it always includes Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Gravity Falls, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hey Arnold!, Disney in some form, and Ghibli in some form. The cycle is complete either when I drop all hyperfixations for a period of time, or when I return to the fixation I started with in the most recent iteration. My sister, explaining this concept to her husband, pointed out that I used to cycle through this entirely within 8 months. Then, adding new media in and having more to do in college and law school, the cycle widened dramatically to 3 years. Right now, she estimates that my cycle is about 2 years long. The implication of course is that there has been a regression.

I would agree with that. To be completely honest, I was about to reread the manga when I heard Takahashi had died, and that news hit me very hard. While I am not interested in large swathes of the franchise that Yu-Gi-Oh! spawned, and therefore do not see Takahashi as an ideal, I have always respected and admired his work. It is also easy to sympathize with him losing some creative control over time due to the insane popularity of Duel Monsters, but he found a way to end his story satisfactorily (twice, if we include the Dark Side of Dimensions movie) despite one game taking massive precedence.

So without Internet, having just moved into a new apartment, with a lot of frustration at work, and feeling very isolated and upset, I restarted my cycle and started shoving Yu-Gi-Oh! into my brain as fast and as hard as possible. I have been very very annoying to talk to lately, even to myself. My sister has been delicately asking me “when I’m going to be done” with this phase for at least a week. I don’t really see an end in sight, and I can never predict when the feverish fascination will fade.

Honestly, this is a period of mourning. Even though the story concluded long ago, Yu-Gi-Oh! has always had a special place in my heart. It helped me make friends (through playing the card game w/boys at school) and learn new ways to express myself artistically. (Yes, I wrote fic, no, you can’t read it.) It was something I enjoyed that no one else in my family liked.

It was also my safe place. I was nine when I got into the show. You know what else happened when I was nine? I started puberty ahead of everyone else in my class and I was subsequently molested. I took real comfort and strength from how characters stood up for themselves and made themselves comfortable in their own bodies (or others’ bodies, as the case may be). I liked that they could make stupid mistakes but still have their friends’ support.

I only ever got to see the first two seasons because for some reason the TV station would never air anything past the first half of the Battle City finals. I also owned the first volume of the manga, which is extremely different from the dub I knew and hinted at a wealth of interpretation and content that was beyond my reach. Then my card-playing friend moved away and my mom died. Real life stuff like that got in the way of my exploring the story further until I was in high school and found the abridged series.

I never let myself finish the manga before, because I didn’t have all the volumes. Now I’m waiting on the last one to come in the mail. Because I always expect the cycle to come back again, I try never to fully exhaust any of these media properties. If it appears I will run out of the finite content for any of them, I try to start distracting myself with lesser media, chores, anything else to draw it out. I have to assume other people do this but I’ve never met anyone IRL who does (that would admit it anyway).

Despite all of this, I’m still an adult with a job. I’m trying to manage and balance my hyperfixation with all the other things I need to do. Like if I can’t have any free time, I’ll play instrumental music from the show as I work. I guess I expected to outgrow the Obsession Cycle without having to expend noticeable effort in doing so. Like my dad has told me many times, “it’s a phase.” Sometimes you don’t return to things you used to like, sure. But I resent them applying that label to Yu-Gi-Oh!. It’s really not a phase. It was a part of my childhood (then rapidly vanishing) that helped me learn the person I wanted to be as an adult. It still inspires me so much.

And aside from all that, I think having that break from regular Internet time helped me refine what I want out of that time now that I have it back. I enjoyed how much reading and organizing I was able to get done. I felt less distracted, even as I chafed at my difficulties in listening to music or communicating with friends. I may post less for awhile, maybe permanently. I don’t think I’ll ever really leave Tumblr or the Internet. And I didn’t enjoy being forcibly without it. But I feel like my relationship with the Internet will be healthier going forward.

[blackhillverse]

THE REASON WHY I DON'T POST ABOUT BLACK WIDOW, EVEN THOUGH I'VE WATCHED IT 3 TIMES ALREADY (SPOILER FREE)

this is going to be very personal, possible trigger warnings for mentions of self-harm, mental illness, severe depression, and extreme grief.

don't get me wrong, i love this movie to the point where i could watch it every day. and i did do that until i overstimulated myself to the point where i hit the ground very very hard.

as a slavic person, this movie means a lot to me. i won't be going into details but small things like their hairstyles very enough for me to tear up for one simple reason: my aunt used to braid my hair this way when i was younger and i always hated it, saying i looked awful and didn't fit into western standards.

as a natasha fan for 11 years, this movie means everything to me. seeing a hero, that you've looked up to for the most part of your life, having her own standalone movie was pretty exciting.

i've watched black widow three times. for the first time in imax, for the second time in my bed, and for the third in a regular cinema. i did all that in two days and that's where the problem lies.

i'm diagnosed with bipolar, finding the emotional middle ground in my life has always been troublesome. i also get overstimulated pretty easily to the point where i have to remove myself from the environment or i will have a panic attack. when the black widow promo began, i avoided any content because i felt bad looking at it. when the movie finally was about to release, i let myself to be more involved on social media with it.

as i've mentioned already, i've watched it three times. however, on my last film show, i barely laughed and didn't cry at all which i found strange. but when i got home, that's when the whole production started. my brain started to lose the difference between what's real and what's fictional to the point where i believed that natasha actually died in our world. it kind of reminded me of how i felt after watching endgame, where it took me a whole year to get through the grief. as all the fans, i didn't and still don't want to let natasha go, being too attached to her character in all universes. to be honest, i've been hyperfixating on her for years.

the black widow movie broke me so much, i’ve been mourning natasha all over again. it got to the point where i could not acknowledge that it was only a movie and because of that cried relentlessly, or even despairingly.

it still happens. it’s sick and tiring because i can’t look at any black widow content because of that. it makes me physically nauseous. i feel nothing but bereavement and i can’t function properly.

i wish i could consume the media as most of my twitter mutuals or irl friends. it must feel so nice to just get flooded with all the content right now and actually enjoy it, rather than feel anxious and nauseous, like the world would suddenly end if you even gave a glance at the content. i wish i could participate in the hype but it just makes me physically hurt.

sometimes i try to pull myself together and try to tweet so i don’t miss out and so people can't think i don’t care. it physically hurts me.

sometimes i wish my life looked different, so i wouldn't have to go through all that pain of losing a piece of myself. maybe if my dad didn't introduce me to the mcu when it launched, i would have never got so attached to natasha to the point where she just became an integral part of me.

//TW SELFHARM

the whole situation has been so rough on me, i feel like selfharming, just so i can channel the pain to something different. i literally wish i could rip the pain off my body but i physically can't do that because it's all in my head. you want to distance yourself from it but you can't run away from the pain, it will follow you and wherever you go and it will always make sure you remember about it.

i know that eventually, it will go away. i actually gave myself a day-off and it helped me feel more comfortable when going online. i still have to talk through it with my therapist though.

i feel like most of the stuff i wrote doesn't make sense or is about the same thing, just worded differently. to be honest, i don't even know why i'm writing all this. maybe to reassure everyone around me, i'm not a fake fan or something,

[missjorgenbjorgen]

Oh how I wish Iduna was the independent “Disney Princess” I had growing up-also I think I found someone who inspired her a bit?

Ah. Here comes my first of many Iduna Analyses. Now. Where do I start with this one? I grew up in a tried-and-true Disney household. We had EVERY Disney movie on tape and I would watch them ALL. THE. TIME. (and my love for films only grew as I too grew). Now, we have your classic Disney Princesses who, of course, are kind of the worst? Now I watched the Disney Princess classics such as The Little Mermaid and Cinderella. But Ariel was my favorite. But four year old (or twenty-one year old) me never related to her. I just loved her hair, kind of. But she is such a piece of SHIT. I said it. Cute movie. Beautiful songs. But still. lol. my intro is done. anyways. 

One of Idunas many qualities I noticed was her independence. I LOVED that Iduna being independent and self-reliant in the book (of course she relies on Agnarr, but not in an unhealthy way duh). Like, how happy she was to make her own money, and to get her own place! and how much she enjoyed inventing her windmills (which are visible in F2!) AND. how she does not like being told what to do, even by Agnarr. I love that she didn’t listen lol. i love this quality about her.  I love how finally the world is getting some independent disney girls. finally. More on Idunas independence- we all know Arendelle is roughly based in Norway (mentioned in Olaf’s Frozen Adventure). During the main portion of Dangerous Secrets, when Iduna was 16 and Agnarr was 18-the year was 1837 (that is when The Little Mermaid was published by Hans Christen Andersen-who also wrote The Snow Queen). Now, in Norway, during the 1800′s, Women’s Suffrage went a long way. (listen I know Arendelle is a royal kingdom but I am just gonna assume they also follow some Norwegian rules). In 1863, all unmarried women were considered independent UNTIL they were married (even if she didn’t marry the Prince of Arendelle I highly doubt Iduna would listen to this lol). Around the 1840′s, the first Norwegian feminist author Camilla Collett challenged Norwegian women’s positions in Norway, arguing against the belief that girls’s only task in life is marriage, and was a big advocate for women’s rights. So there were many women in Norway who challenged their cultural ideas about women. It’s funny because Camilla actually fell in love with her fathers and brothers enemy, BUT he did not return his feelings so they never got together and she married someone else- but that beginning part sounds a LOT like Iduna’s story. wait. was Iduna inspired by her- wait wait wait. I’ll be back once I finish reading about Camilla.

OKAY IM BACK and I am pretty convinced Iduna had to be inspired by Camilla. After Camilla’s husband and family died, she wrote her most famous work, Amtmandens døttre. She discussed here and disagreed highly with women’s treatment in Norway, their marriage ideaologies about women staying home and being housewives. I love that Iduna challenged the young-disney-unworking-unhealthiliy dependent girl idea. Iduna was educated, an inventor, cared so much for her neighbors, AND INDEPENDENT-all at 16. Literally if Iduna was a real person she would have been Camilla I AM CONVINCED. Maybe SOME qualities from her were used to create Iduna. I could be wrong but I am seeing similarities! 

 So I am seeing some historical accuracy here (omg now I am thinking about analyzing more historical accuracy about DS and Frozen, hello ADHD hyperfixation-speaking of hyperfixation, I thought this AgDuna fixation would last a week after I saw f2, but here we are. my ADHD fixations only last a week) It’s nice to know that if the Frozen world was real, Iduna would be just as independent and just as herself as she could, and doing what she loves with the love of her life. 

I am very new to Norwegian history (I hope the sources I’m reading are correct) and wow.  Ooof I apologize for the over-analysis! I just love small accuracies like this. What is the point of this post? Not sure. But it’s nice to see a little bits of accuracy! 

This is Camilla Collett, Norway’s first Feminist Author! same eyes as Iduna!

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash​

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 3: The Girl Who Wouldn’t Let Go

Sehun’s POV

In pre-debut days, before we were even grouped together, Junmyeon was determined that trainees should bond, so he wrote these little schedules of nearby events and sent them out in group messages. Owing to his busy university schedule, Junmyeon rarely went anywhere with us himself. He was absent that night in the drive-in too.

Although I was sixteen, I wasn’t especially eager to drive, so I didn’t mind when Minseok claimed the driver’s seat. Because I respected Luhan too much to complain when he bounced into the passenger seat, I quietly squeezed into the backseat where— as the youngest— I was sandwiched between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

Objectively, it was unfair that I was forced into the smallest seat because of my age. I get that Kyungsoo was older, and that was why I didn’t demand to trade seats. Still, I think that it only would have been right for him to take the middle seat because he was the shortest. I wasn’t really one to argue against rules, traditions, and societal roles, though, so I just folded my hands in my lap and decided that if ever I were the oldest person in the room, I wouldn’t get a big head. I wouldn’t abuse my power. I would be fair.

My members like to joke that I’m disobedient and border on disrespectful, but that’s not true. To tell you the truth, spending my Friday night in the drive-in with Chanyeol talking loudly in my ear wasn’t my idea of a good time, so my presence alone testified to my respect for Junmyeon before he was even the leader.

I wasn’t trying to be rude or disrespectful when I pushed Chanyeol out of the car as soon as Minseok parked. My legs were just aching from being cramped in the back seat, so I was eager to stretch and climb into the bed of the truck, where I could massage the knots that formed in my muscles. My eyes instinctively rolled at Chanyeol’s dramatized howls of pain as he tripped over gravel; he shouldn’t have taken offense.

As I eased my back against the cool metal wall of the truck, stretching my legs before me, Minseok smiled. His smile was always timid in those days. His voice was so quiet that my ears had to strain to make out his words. “Sehun, do you want something from the concession stand?”

Groaning at the thought of standing, I asked, “Are you going to pay for me?”

Having recovered from his trip, Chanyeol laughed as he sat next to me. “What a cheapskate!”

I didn’t think anything about what I said until I heard Kyungsoo’s faint snort of a laugh while he pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose. Look— I firmly believe that seniors should pay for all expenses, and I still abide by that rule whenever I’m a senior— but I didn’t really know Minseok well enough to expect anything from him. All we had in common was that we knew Junmyeon.

Tugging my wallet out of my pocket, I prepared to hand it over with the explanation that I was too tired to walk with him after the full week of training, but Minseok wouldn’t accept my money. “Of course I’ll pay for you!” He was almost too nice. Sometimes, I don’t trust people like that, or I worry that someone will take advantage of them, but I was never worried about Minseok. “Just tell me what you want.”

I fit my wallet back into my pocket and shrugged. “I’m not picky.” Chanyeol laughed again— roaring right in my ear— and I cut my eyes at him. We were always friends, I guess, but we were very different people, and that’s why he was always on my nerves. “Just get me something sweet, please.”

Minseok nodded and, after listening to requests from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, he took off with Luhan toward the concession stand.

Although too many hours had passed since the sunset for it to be bright enough to read, Kyungsoo held a book up to his face. He always liked to look smart, even when nobody was paying attention to him. Dropping the book to glance at me over the pages, he remarked, “You don’t seem like you would have a sweet tooth.

I blinked at him, never really caring much for people who speak in metaphors. A part of me wanted to tell him to speak plainly, but he probably wouldn’t have humored me anyway, so I bit my tongue. Besides, it didn’t matter what he meant.

Kyungsoo blinked back at me. It was obvious that he was sizing me up. That didn’t bother me so much; I just didn’t know what he thought he could discover about my character from my vague snack preferences. It’s foolish for people to attach meanings to insignificant things, but that’s something people do best.

I probably wouldn’t have responded to Kyungsoo even if Chanyeol hadn’t interrupted my thoughts to ask, “So, what movie are they playing?”

It wasn’t such a bad question. Because I only went to please Junmyeon, I didn’t know any specifics. Noticing that Chanyeol and I were looking to him, Kyungsoo answered, “Beauty and the Beast,” with a smile. He liked getting to share his knowledge.

“Like, the Disney movie?” I asked. 

Kyungsoo nodded sagely, and Chanyeol lowered his head, whining, “I didn’t realize we were here to watch a little girl movie!” He was a little too obsessed with being macho those days. If you ask me, a hyperfixation on manliness is pretty lame.

Kyungsoo glared at Chanyeol. “Animation is not exclusively for children.”

“Dude.” Chanyeol returned his glare— sharpened it. “It’s a princess movie! It’s marketed to little girls!”

“Don’t you think you’re being narrow-minded?” Kyungsoo phrased his criticism as a question, maybe, because Chanyeol was technically his senior. “Beauty and the Beast explores significant themes about sacrifice, superficiality, the nature of love—”

Regretting that I hadn’t pushed through my fatigue to walk with Minseok and Luhan, I tore my eyes away from Kyungsoo and tried to will myself deaf to his monologue as I tinkered with our portable speaker. Upon finding the station broadcasting the audio accompanying the images projected on the towering screen at the front to the lot, I frowned at an obvious problem.

I interrupted the debate to announce, “This is in English.” Even when I squinted, trying to distinguish the finer details on the screen, there were no captions to be found. When nobody responded, I added, “I don’t understand English.” 

Chanyeol nudged my ribs and joked, “Does anybody?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “Just appreciate the art of animation, Sehun.” 

I huffed at Kyungsoo’s pretentious attitude, “How am I supposed to appreciate something I don’t understand?”

“Well—” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knit together, and I knew that he was considering my words too deeply again— “you’ve seen the movie before, right?”

Before I could respond flatly that (obviously) I had, Minseok returned, carrying armfuls of snacks that he dropped in the center of the truck bed along with the bright announcement, “Look who I found!”

I don’t know who I expected to find when I glanced over at him, but judging from the drop of my jaw, I hadn’t expected to find Lei clinging onto Luhan’s arm. I hadn’t expected to see her beaming up at him as if he hung the moon. 

When Luhan gestured for her to climb into the truck before him, she gasped, “Where did Heechul go? One second, he was standing next to me, and the next—” Her head turned from side to side as if she couldn’t imagine how she wound up at our truck. 

As stupid and irresponsible as it was, I could have forgiven her for losing Heechul in her starry-eyed pursuit of Luhan. After all, she was just a kid. But I couldn’t forgive Heechul for losing her. Who knows what could have happened if Minseok and Luhan hadn’t been there to lead her through the dark? All I knew was that after that night, I wouldn’t be able to look at Heechul without confronting the urge to roll my eyes at his carelessness. 

While Chanyeol, who never liked Lei for whatever stupid reason, stiffened at my side, Kyungsoo dropped his book to wave at her. “Hey, Lei!” 

My eyebrows twitched. How did Kyungsoo know her? Glancing from Kyungsoo’s joyful wave to Chanyeol’s scowl to Minseok’s small grin to Luhan’s dimpled smile, I realized that Lei wasn’t a stranger to anybody. Except for Chanyeol, she had managed to charm everyone into being her friend despite the age difference. 

It would have been weird to be jealous or possessive of a kid’s attention— even Lei’s— but there was something weird about recognizing that I wasn’t the only trainee she knew well enough to greet outside of the agency. It shouldn’t have been such an epiphany. I knew I wasn’t the center of the universe or anything. I knew that before we ever met, she was well acquainted with real idols. She was loved by real idols. 

She just always had this way of looking at me that made me feel— I don’t know. I don’t like talking about this kind of thing. I guess that moment was humbling. I guess Lei continued to humble me when she settled into the space next to me only to excitedly chatter to Luhan in rapid-fire Mandarin. Despite my basic understanding of the language, I couldn’t quite keep up with what they said between giggles. 

I guess I had always known that Lei wouldn’t cling to her crush on me forever. I guess I knew that I had been hoping for that day to come quickly, but now that I thought it had arrived, I felt weird. It wasn’t that I wanted her to like me or anything. I guess the issue was that if she had outgrown me, time really was passing, and it had done so without my permission. Nobody is ever that comfortable with time. 

When Lei and Luhan fell silent just long enough to glance at me before laughing again, it was obvious that they were talking about me. The tips of my ears probably burned. 

“Yeah,” I understood Luhan as he nodded at Lei, “he is pretty handsome.”

Oh. So that’s still what she thought of me. Weirdly, I was relieved. Some things would probably never change. Maybe Lei would always think I was handsome. Maybe no matter how many times I told her not to flirt, she would do what she wanted. Maybe people should learn to find comfort in constants. 

Probably because she seemed so happy, chewing through a chocolate bar as she talked to Luhan, probably because I was kind of (just a little) flattered, I swallowed the fading urge to lecture her. I instead listened to Chanyeol growl, “Look, Minseok, I don’t care where you found her. I just know that she can’t stay here.”

Although Chanyeol hadn’t said her name, Lei was sensitive to his criticism. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she said in a small voice, “I should probably go. My mom is probably worried about me.”

Kyungsoo was only trying to be helpful when he offered, “We’ll help you find your parents.” He wasn’t trying to knock all the air out of Lei’s chest. 

She ceased her efforts to climb down the side of the truck, collapsed at my side, and wheezed. I had seen Lei upset before, but never in my life had I seen somebody look so wounded by mere words— words that weren’t even harsh. Blinking at her, I understood: Lei didn’t have parents.

We never talked about her family. I would never know how to approach that topic— and I didn’t know yet that her mom was the idol who never debuted. I could just tell from her labored breathing that she didn’t have a father. That’s why she followed her mom everywhere. That’s why she sat alone at that table by the vending machine every day. That’s why she claimed Super Junior as her family, and that’s why they protected her: they were filling a void. 

Had I believed that an embrace could mend that kind of deep wound, I would have wasted no time in slinging an arm around her shoulders to brace her against everyone’s stares. I didn’t believe that, though, even if I wanted to, so I just laid my arm over the edge of the car, cutting my eyes at Chanyeol (because he was on my nerves, and we were only in this situation because he couldn’t be nice to Lei for five seconds) and Kyungsoo (because, despite his good intentions, he prodded at Lei’s wound and made it impossible for me to ever overlook the scar again). 

I said, “I don’t think we should rush to return Lei to whoever abandoned her at the concession stand.” I think I was angry. My hands were balled into fists, and my jaw was so tense that my words were almost unintelligible. I’m not sure, though; I’m not that experienced with anger. 

Even before her breathing hitched at the word ‘abandoned,’ I should have known that I said the wrong thing. I wasn’t trying to make matters worse. I didn’t know what to say. I could only grimace at my mistake after the fact— after I couldn’t snatch the words back out of the air. 

Luhan playfully tugged on one of Lei’s twin braids and, after earning the faintest grin, he said, “I think we should keep Lei! At least until the movie ends.”

Well. If you put me at that awkward stage— no, even me on my best night— next to Luhan, I guess it’s clear who any kid (or maybe any girl at any age) would prefer. We weren’t even in competition, and I felt like Luhan was winning. How stupid. 

Nodding enthusiastically, Minseok agreed with Luhan, Chanyeol groaned, and Kyungsoo insisted (despite the fact that the entire drive-in was a dead zone) that we should call Lei’s parents, but Lei didn’t respond to any of them. She didn’t even seem to hear them. She only looked at me with big eyes. 

Did she want me to tell her what to do? I guess that was something I did often enough without being asked, but— for the first time in a while— I didn’t know what to say. 

Unsure of what to do with the authority she always entrusted to me, I cast my eyes toward the screen and fidgeted with the speaker. “Hey, Lei.” I didn’t glance at her, but I could still feel her eyes watching me. I know she wasn’t looking for fault. I know that she was just admiring me the way only a kid can. Still, I squirmed. “Can you translate this movie for me?”

Once I looked at her, and she understood that I was encouraging her to stay— resolving within myself to help her find her mom and Heechul once the street lights turned on at the end of the movie— she smiled. Her gap was now replaced by the metallic glint of braces. I guess I was just glad that she could breathe again. 

Lei had just started to nod her head when a shriek broke through the quiet night. “Why don’t you shut the hell up? If you’re so invested in how this fairytale ends, I’ll tell you— the girl falls in love with the beast! He falls in love with her! And it’s beautiful! Now, get out of my way! I’m looking for my kid!”

In the moments before I realized that the shriek belonged to her mom, while the guys and I spun our heads in search of the conflict, I clutched Lei’s arm and pulled her behind me so I could shield her. In the event of a real emergency, I don’t know how effective my body would have been as a shield, but I wasn’t really thinking too deeply. At some moments in life, you act purely on instinct. That was one of those moments. My instinct was to protect Lei from the screaming woman. 

In hindsight, even now that I know that there was no real threat to our safety, I am proud of my instincts. 

Heechul’s voice preceded him. “Kimberly, you have to calm down.”

Recognizing Heechul’s voice, I figured that Kimberly must have been Lei’s mom’s name. My forehead wrinkled as I tried to fit the name with her face. It was weird, I guess, because I had never heard it before, just like I had never heard her yell. 

“Calm down?” She laughed one of those hollow laughs. The scary kind. “You leave my child all alone at the concession stand, and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?”

Heechul must have been stupid to argue with a panicked mother. “I told you, she wasn’t alone! She was with two handsome young men—” Minseok and Luhan, I assumed— “and from how she lit up while talking to them, I assumed that they were friends!”

“So you just left her there?”

“I didn’t mean to!” I don’t know how Lei’s mom resisted the urge to punch Heechul’s face that must have coursed through both of us with comparable intensity. “Besides,” he added, “Lei is, like, a black belt in taekwondo, so if she was in trouble—”

“She is a little girl!” Lei’s mom screamed to drill the rather obvious reminder into Heechul’s thick skull. Some kind of desperation ripped through her voice and caused Lei to tense under my grip. 

Something about the frown I found on Lei’s face when I glanced back at her and the fear in her mom’s voice spurred me to action. “Come on, Lei.” I ushered her out of the bed of the truck, offering both of my hands so she wouldn’t trip. “Let’s go find your mom.”

Her small, cold hands trembled in mine, and as I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, it dawned on me: she was afraid of the dark. She tripped once or twice because her eyes were fixed up on the sky, probably searching for the moon and stars. 

Once we found her mom and Heechul after a few minutes that felt like eternities because of the silence and her palpable fear, I thought they would never stop thanking me for being, as Heechul said, a knight in shining armor. 

“You’re welcome,” was the only thing to say. I guess I meant it because something like pride spread through my chest and pulled my lips into a smile even though it was dark and nobody could see it. 

When I released her hand, Lei mumbled, “Well, I guess you’re leaving now, right?” Although I couldn’t quite make out the features on her face, I imagined from her tone that she must have been pouting. Without even waiting for my reply, she said, “Goodnight, Sehun. Thank you for helping me find Mom and Heechul.”

Mostly because I wanted Lei to be happy— and I realized that somehow, just by being around, I made her happy— I raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you talking about? I told you— I need a translator, and nobody back in that truck knows English. Where you go, I go.”

Hearing my excuse for tagging along, neither her mom nor Heechul objected. Breathing another sigh of relief because Lei was safe and sound, they led us back to their car. As Heechul finally started to apologize for losing Lei in the first place, nobody noticed that Lei was bold enough to reach for my hand again with the whispered excuse, “I don’t want to get lost again, Sehun.”

I gave her a stern stare— the one I tried to reserve for the lectures about acting appropriately around boys— and I know she must have felt it. I know she must have been able to see it even in the darkness when she looked up at me, but she wouldn’t let me go. 

I guess because I started it by holding her hand first, I guess because I didn’t want her to get lost again either, I guess because I wanted to be some comfort even if I couldn’t cure her fear of the dark, I guess because I didn’t want to risk driving the smile from her face, I just let her do what she wanted that one time. 

That one time would become two times and then three and then a hundred and then a thousand and then a million until I didn’t know how to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t want to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t know what to do when she wasn’t bold anymore, until I didn’t quite know what to feel when she didn’t look at me first anymore. When I walked with her through the night that was too dark to find any stars or even the moon, I swear I never imagined that she would grow into somebody that I love in the heart-fluttering, gut-wrenching, world-changing kind of way. 

Then, Lei was just a kid who deserved a protector, and I was just one of many who tried to overfill the place of a father who never should have left her. 

As I walked with her, deciding what I would say to Chanyeol when he would inevitably curse me for ditching him (again) for Lei, I told myself that I wouldn’t have been able to find my way back to the truck anyway. And it wasn’t a lie, I swore as Lei’s translation of the movie— complete with unique voices for each character— captivated everyone in her mother’s car. 

[ninvic-rbs]

Uhh okay so I know I haven’t really been active in the grillster community for a while (I do not control the hyperfixation) but looking through some old stuff I found something I wrote that I never posted, and in honor of grillstertember I thought I’d share it, better late than never :)

I didn’t see anything on @aeris-blue‘s prompt list (sorry for the tag ^^’) that fit this so I’m just posting it now and. That’s it. Godspeed yall ✌️

Grillby bolted upright the moment he woke up, soul beating faster than he ever remembered it doing. But, given the circumstances, maybe he shouldn't rely on his memory just now.

He was so used to weird dreams that, when he first regained consciousness, he thought that's what it was. An odd dream. But it didn't take him long to realize that it wasn't. To feel the presence that had been missing for so long, without him even noticing. And when that thought hit him, the wave of emotions that crashed in his mind was so intense it almost made him choke.

Gaster was back. His Gaster was back.

Grillby had so many questions; he almost couldn't function. Where had he been? Why had he left? How long had he been gone? Why was he back? Where was he? Would he remember everyone? Would he remember him? Would he remember them?

Quicker than he thought he could manage so early, he got up and changed clothes. He attempted to put on his shoes at the same time he went down the stairs of his little apartment, and that almost ended up with him falling face first on the floor.

Without stopping to have breakfast and with his tie still hanging loose, he left the house and took off running down the street, headed for the skeleton household.

When he arrived, he slammed the door opened unceremoniously. He knew he would apologize later, but right now the feeling of urgency was much bigger than a crack on the wall.

The brothers were sitting down at the table, looking worried, like they were discussing something. Well, like they had been discussing something. Right now they were both looking at Grillby with a shock that quickly turned into confusion, which then also faded into understanding. It was kind of creepy how coordinated they were.

After a few seconds of silence, Papyrus spoke up.

"DID... DID YOU REMEMBER HIM TOO?"

The elemental nodded, breathing heavily. The brothers glanced at each other uneasily before looking up again. Grillby wondered if he was missing something or if they were just worried about their older brother.

"Do you know where he is? Have you seen him?" he anxiously asked.

"NO, WE HAVEN'T, BUT... SOME TEENAGERS IN WATERFALL TOLD US THEY SAW HIM LAST NIGHT. SIT DOWN IF YOU'D LIKE, WE'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE KNOW" he said offering the elemental the third chair around the table, which he politely declined. He was sure if he sat down now he would set the furniture on fire.

And so Papyrus, because Sans didn't open his mouth once, narrated to him how a group of teens that were up way past their bed time had seen a figure that after a second they could recognize as the previous Royal Scientist stumble a couple of steps out of a corridor that wasn't supposed to be there, only to immediately take off running towards Hotland. The first people to be notified had been Sans and Papyrus, who woke up suddenly remembering their lost brother. They had checked the labs, but he hadn't gone there; so they could only guess he was in the castle.

"WE DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S THERE. NOR DO WE KNOW HOW... BEING GONE FOR SO LONG COULD HAVE AFFECTED HIM. WE HAVE DECIDED TO WAIT FOR HIM HERE. HE WILL HAVE TO COME AROUND, EVENTUALLY" he looked over at Grillby, who at some point during the explanation had started pacing around the room.

"Okay" he said after a pause. "...could you let me know when he shows up? Please."

"OF COURSE."

"Thank you" he knew the wait was gonna be unbearable, but there wasn't much he could do about it. "Well, I'm... I'm gonna open up the bar, I guess. I'll see you two later. thank you again for telling me."

He left after the pair waved their goodbyes. After walking the short distance to his bar, he sighed, creating a thick cloud of steam.

It was going to be a long day.

He took out his keys and opened the door, stepping inside. As he glanced around, he thought, like every morning, that his bar looked a lot different without all the light and the people in it. And he was the only person that had ever seen it like that.

...no. No he wasn't. Not anymore.

He remembered how, years ago, Gaster had helped him close down the establishment after a long day. He would even sometimes walk him to work in the morning, whenever he stayed the night in Snowdin.

The elemental sighed again. He hadn't been able to realize just how much he missed those nights. Grillby would wait for him while he got out of work and to his house, and then they would watch a movie or just talk about whatever came to mind. He would normally leave after a couple hours, since he would have to get up early the next morning. But... sometimes he would be able to actually stay the night.

The elemental shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

He got to work opening up; turning the lights on and putting the chairs back on the ground.

He was getting the dishes ready for the day and warming up the ovens when he heard a muffled scream. He froze for a second, before dropping everything and bolting for the door. That voice had sounded like Papyrus' and every bit of his being was telling him that he had to go outside.

His excitement and anxiety growing with each step, he finally crossed the door. It took him a moment to locate the skeleton, but when he did he stopped running abruptly.

There he was. There he is.

That was all the elemental could think as he watched the scene that was unfolding in front of him.

The skeleton brothers had left the house seemingly in a rush, but where only a few meters away from it, hugging... hugging Gaster. They were hugging Gaster, his Gaster, he was there, he was right there.

Grillby choked on a sob. He didn't know what to do with himself as he watched. His memory of the skeleton had been so distant that the sigh of him now almost made his knees weak. He had even forgotten how short he was when compared to the other.

At some point, Grillby couldn't tell exactly when, Gaster looked up from his brothers and his gaze found its way up to the elemental's, who, in spite of himself laughed, molten tears running down his face. He couldn't bring himself to do anything besides hold their eye contact as the skeleton started running towards him. He wanted nothing more than to close the distance, but he was sure if he tried to walk his legs wouldn't support him.

And he probably had been right, seeing how, when Gaster finally tackled him they both fell to the ground. They rolled around a couple of times before they stopped, the elemental lying on the floor and Gaster settled on top of him. When the skeleton noticed, thought, he pushed them again so that he was the one lying down. Despite the huge storm of emotions coursing through him, Grillby gave him a questioning look. The skeleton chuckled.

"Oh, you know. I don't want you to hurt your back, with the snow and all that."

Grillby laughed again. He didn't think he'd ever cared less about the snow.

[angrycowboy]

A couple weeks ago, I decided that for my birthday, I was going to attempt to put together some of my favorite things this fandom has created. I say *some* because this is an incomplete list. There are so many wonderful and talented creators in this fandom that this list would go on forever otherwise. If I have I ever reblogged something of yours, flailed in the tags, reached out to via DM or sent you a message, talked on discord or even Twitter, know that I love and adore not only the things you’ve created, but you yourself as part of this fandom.

And now, without further ado…

FIC

memento by @nielrian

I was obsessed with the idea of coming up with the backstory to the photo we see Michael look at in 1x02. When was it taken? Does Alex have a copy? Did Alex bring his with him to the other side of the world? How often do you think Michael looked at his own copy? And Nicki took a little prompt of mine, and wrote an achingly gorgeous piece about one photograph, and it’s significance to Malex in less than 700 words.

a little something to make me sweeter by @partsofthesamecosmicbeing

Camluca + D.E.B.S. is like a recipe for the perfect fic. I freaking love the movie, and when I saw this fic pop up on tumblr one day? I couldn’t even contain my excitement (seriously, the tags on my reblog were just me flailing wildly because it felt like Ly had reached into my brain and written something I wanted to read before I even knew it myself). Casting Alex as Scud and including Malex in the mix just made me love this fic even more.

And the Sun Rose Red by @michaels-blackhat

A Miluca Kissing Kate Barlow AU? SIGN. ME. UP. I adore Christi, and I adore her writing. One day she was like, “miluca kissing kate barlow au?” and the only appropriate answer to that is HECK YES. Michael/Maria is also a dynamic that just works for this AU, given their canon relationship, and Michael’s penchant for fixing things and Maria’s desire to have someone just be there for her. *runs off to re-read fic*

something broken in this town by @irolltwenties

Okay so, Meagn is one of my favorite people in this fandom. We kinda ramble at each other, and one day this happened where she started talking about the parents. About the relationship Jesse, Jim, and Mimi had as kids, as teenagers, as young adults. How they got sucked into aliens and government conspiracies. How they became the people we see and hear about in S1. If you’ve ever had the privilege of talking with Meagn, you know how amazing her mind is, how she takes these characters and the mere scraps we’ve been given in canon with some of them, and creates entire lives for them, and it’s beautiful.

open up my eager eyes by @haloud

It took me a while to get into Mylex, but apparently it was just because I hadn’t read Hal’s series yet. I’m usually terrible about multi-shipping, but once I find a writer that nails the characters down, I could probably read anything they write. And Hal writes all three of them perfectly. (I mean, Hal is just a phenomenal writer in general, but I digress.)

META

Michael’s bisexuality by @chasingshhadows

There’s been a lot said in the fandom about Michael’s bisexuality and how it’s been portrayed. While the show was airing, I was having trouble finding people who felt the same way I did about how it was being shown - that it wasn’t problematic, but that it was good and accurate. Not to mention that it made me feel seen. I tried writing out what I was feeling but nothing sounded right - until Chasing wrote this piece. It was everything I’d been trying to find the words to express, and it remains one of my absolutely favorite pieces of her writing.

Semiotics of Roswell by @hannah-writes

Hannah did this amazing thing where she took the camera work of RNM and analyzed the shit out of it. And in some moments of doubt, where I was still worried about Malex because of the direction the show had been taking, Hannah’s semiotics (or better known as “Why Malex is Endgame”) pointed out how the camerawork for Malex and Echo is very similar, not to mention deliberate as fuck.

Maria Can’t Catch a Break by @ober-affen-geil

I adore Maria Deluca. She has gotten such a bad rap in the fandom because of the “love triangle” business. But fandom in general has done her dirty in that without removing the shipper goggles it is very hard to see that the show has established Maria as a character in her own right, just as much as it has with Kyle and Alex. And that’s why I love Riley’s meta about everything that Maria is dealing with, what she’s going through, and what it’s been like for her to be the one left behind 10 years ago.

GIFSETS/EDITS

i would know him in death, at the end of the world by @vlamito

I don’t even remember now who told me I had to read The Song of Achilles - it was pre-RNM hyperfixation, but I absolutely loved it (I definitely cried while reading it). And then I saw this gifset, oh mah gawd. Mich just has this ability to find quotes from other media and fit them seemlessly into Malex. And the moments she chooses for her gifsets are utter perfection. I think everyone has probably seen this now, but it’s a gifset I just keep going back to over and over again.

Are you okay? by @maxortecho

So I adore Echo. There is something about their softness, the way they look at each other, the way they act around each other that is just beautiful. Mo made this set, and pointed out in the tags that Liz pushes her arms underneath Max like she’s going to hug him, and it broke me. Like, I thought that scene in the finale was heartbreaking enough, but pointing that out? It hurts and I loved it.

Leading Ladies Appreciation by @lsobelevans

Lucie does some amazing things with color that truly make her edits stand out, and stick out in your mind. And it’s one of the things I love about her gif sets especially - it makes them uniquely hers, her own signature if you will. And this edit is no different - the splashes of color, the texture used for the background, the highlighting of the leading ladies is stunning work. 

Same page/Different book by @bisexualalienblast

Let’s just say that picking ONE gifset of Amanda’s is an impossibility for me, okay? Amanda’s sets are the reason I wanted to learn how to gif - her gifs are beautifully colored, they’re crisp, she always picks the best fonts, they’re smooth, and her ideas are stellar. Anyway, she more recently made this set, which just so perfectly illustrates Malex’s issue IN TWO GIFS. That’s it. Their entire problem in S1, right there. Beautiful.

VIDEO

Juice | Women of Roswell by @isakvaltersnake

Katie is a wizard with the video editing. She’s going to be a force when we’ve got more than one season of footage to play around with. And this video is fun and hot and LOOK AT THE WOMEN. They are smart, they are kind, they are flirty, they have agency, and they’re all hella sexy.

Weird Science | Liz & Michael - Science Bros by @soberqueerinthewild

Hands down, this is one of my favorite videos from the fandom, and definitely one of my favorite things Christina has made (though I basically love everything she does). It’s silly and ridiculous and 100% fun. She found every bit of footage in S1 and matched it to the song perfectly. It’s impossible to watch this video and not smile and laugh - it will instantly brighten your day.

MISC

RNM Texts From Last Night by @audreyblanche

I am slightly biased here, because while Irena came up with the idea, I encouraged her to actually go through with it, promising her that the fandom would enjoy it. So because of that it’s next to impossible for me to pick a favorite out of all the ones she’s done for this series (though the one where we settled on the Camluca ship name, as well as one I specifically requested for Malex come close), and I’m hoping that with the new season (and when she returns from hiatus), she can pick this up again.

[theplaguebeast]

A Long Ramble On My Experience Reading Nothing But Fanfic For Over A Year

So, my entire Adult Journey Through Fandom (as opposed to my Teen Journey Through Fandom, which started around 13 and petered off when I was 19) began because summer 2019, after I moved back in with my grandparents and left the state I’d spent the last ten years in behind (along with almost all my possessions excepting my cats, my wolf pelt, some clothes, and some misc stuff including the entire Lord of The Rings series in paperback) I went to Archive of Our Own (AO3) on my shitty phone that didn’t actually function as a phone because that costs money, and went to the Fallout 4 section (because I have played that game to DEATH AND BACK, modded it to death and back too) and started reading. Because it was literally the first fandom I could think of.

And then, one day, as I was reading Piper/f!SS I thought ‘What’s another Media I Have Consumed’ and for whatever reason, Legend of Korra came to mind which is wild because I watched it when it came out and then NEVER touched it again. I did wind up rewatching it after reading probably around 100 Korrasami fics, but I watched it BECAUSE of the fics.

Then, and I think I hopped onto this because a bunch of writers who wrote Korrasami also wrote them, I fell into Clexa. And I’d watched.... like five seasons of The 100? IDK, whatever it was that season-dumped on Netflix in like 2017. And WHOO BOI did I stick around there for a LONG TIME. We’re talking 90 pages of my AO3 history (20 fics per page yo) of JUST CLEXA.

Thru a similar mechanism I started reading Supercorp, and here is where I come back into my ‘I don’t even GO HERE’ tendency, because you see I still have not seen a single episode of Supergirl but you bet your ass I have read literally about a hundred fics for it.

Then, again, via authors-who-I-liked-writing-for-other-fandoms-than-how-I-found-them I read a hefty pile of SwanQueen (which, RIP y’all OUAT fucked y’all huh?) and that’s a show that I had really honestly TRIED to watch but guys... The only thing going for it really is that it’s the better Live Action Beauty And The Beast and that’s sad on a number of levels.

Then Pitch Perfect caught me up and I HAVE seen the first movie (and jesus if that het romance wasn’t shoehorned in) but also ONLY the first movie but that didn’t stop my consumption of those fics.

At some point I strafed thru the Glee fandom and rediscovered Faberry which I don’t recall ever actively shipping Back In The Day but you BET YOUR ASS I thought they were both SUPER GAY when the first couple seasons were airing, which is also the last time I watch it at ALL.

And from there, AGAIN this has ALL happened because I kept checking out other stuff written by authors I like, I started reading Sansa-shipping Game of Thrones fics. Now here is a Very Important Thing to Know: I started with Sansa/Margaery, and you might have seen earlier my discovery that I fell into reading other Sansa ships via Sansa/Ellaria/Oberyn.

Before that point, even as a teenager, I shipped ZERO heterosexual couples. NONE. NADA.

Also, I had not watched Game of Thrones past season 4. (Some of you may be aware I watched and liveblogged watching the whole series recently. Do not do this thing.) I still spent seven months reading almost exclusively GoT fanfic. I’ve bought the books. I’m in MULTIPLE discord servers for GoT fan shiz. 

And I also fell into checking Other Works By This Author I Like, except now, because I will read a fic featuring Sansa with literally anyone because it’s interesting to me, I started also reading het ships.

And so I wound up reading A Bunch of Zutara, and I had seen Airbender back when it aired and also... at some other point. But I did not rewatch it when it came out on netflix because holy shit Korra retroactively makes me so mad about both series now that I really think about Katara okay guys? Because I’m not okay. I’m mad. Whatever.

Somehow I wound up BACK in the Once Upon A Time fandom, by the way, but this time with Rumbelle (remember when I mentioned Beauty and the Beast earlier? HI) and man it’s interesting to see two sides of a fandom like that lemme tell ya.

And now, to the present, where I’m reading Bethyl fics for The Walking Dead, which I saw like three seasons of and mostly remember as ‘that show with the zombies where I got mad that no one could ever actually catch a fucking break for more than five minutes’ which is, for the record, WHY I stopped watching. And the extra funny thing is that I didn’t really author-hop for that one I just went ‘hey i know vague things about this IP let’s read stuff’ and Bethyl was just... the first ship I clicked on? And now I’m fucking Team Delusional and I DON’T EVEN GO HERE.

I need to REALLY DEEPLY HIGHLIGHT the fact that out of EVERY fandom I have listed, BEFORE I got into them I only finished/kept up with TWO of the shows and the one video game, ONE fandom has made me make myself watch the series it’s based on (and I’ll read the books as soon as they get here I’m not paying for fast shipping y’all), and EVERY OTHER ONE I know of from watching like three seasons on average. 

(This is not including the fandoms where I checked out like five fics, went ‘I’m bored now’ and left. There’s like five of those I think???)

So what I’m saying is that I get a basic understanding of a piece of media and then throw it away and go check out the fan shit because it’s more entertaining to see what everyone’s doing with the toys the media provides. Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice And Fire is a fucking anomaly on every single front, literally every other fandom I have, there is The Ship That Happens (well, OUAT gets two, but they’re not mutually exclusive so WHATEVER) and then pretty much every other ship ranges from ‘whatever’ to ‘fuck off’.

But fucking Sansa Stark, man. 

Anyways I’ve got 350+ pages (that’s over 7,000 fics yo) of AO3 history since June 19 2019 because quarantine changed zero percent of my lifestyle. If I can do math (debatable) that’s 15 fics a day every day, on average for nine-ish fandoms but the vast majority is GoT/ASoIAF.

Tune in fking WHENEVER when I finish the project my brain has decided will happen (THANKS HYPERFIXATIONS) where I’ve got the full data for all of this bullshit so I know how many words of whatever fucking ship I’ve read.

[alecs-potatofarm]

ive been seeing people sharing their stories about how they got into beetlejuice and all that jazz, so i decided to join in.

i was already acquainted with the movie from before i found out about the musical. i don't exactly remember when i first heard of it but it had been on my watch list for a long time.

the last time i heard about the musical was a couple of days before Halloween when my friend told me that they were going to dress up as Lydia and wear some high-heeled boots so that they could intimate me further (i am incredibly short). they told me that it was now a musical and that i should listen to the cast album. much like i did with the movie, i filed that information in my mind and put it on my listening list. to be honest i sort of forgot about it for a while until the weekend before my term one finals week aka the weekend before Thanksgiving.

that weekend a small con about asian culture was organized within my city right next to the anual book fest. i made the last minute decision to go to it along with my brother a friend of mine and a bunch of people that i didn't know. as soon as we got there i suddenly realized that most of the people attending the con were fellow weebs and naturally where there's weebs there's cosplay. and where there's cosplay, there's a cosplay contest. we of course watched the cosplay contest and while all of the contests were great there was a certain stripped demon there that caught my attention. i remember thinking that their cosplay was amazing and they lip sincked the whole being dead thing on stage a song which immediately peaked my interest. (if you happen to have cosplayed beetlejuice on the sunday of Asiafest Bucharest, please dm me! i wanted to come up and talk to you but i was too awkward to do so).

having had my interest peaked, as soon as i got home i ended up spending my evening listening to the cast album while studying for physics. i immediately loved it but obsession didn't fully start until i found the Broadway.com vlogs a couple of days later. after watching every single one of them, i started following a bunch of the cast members this then lead to my hyperfixation fully starting on Thanksgiving day, which mind you is a holiday that im only aware off because of black Friday, when i spent my afternoon with my eyes glued to my phone hoping from one Instagram and tiktok to another just so i could follow the cast along on their parade experience. that was the most i have ever used instagram in my life.

from then on i started slowly falling deeper and deeper down the beetlejuice rabbit hole and i loved every single second of it. i was heartbroken and mad when it was first announced that beetlejuice would close and i decided i would make the most of the time that was left by supporting them as much as i could from overseas.

i listen to the album on a daily basis (i still do). the amount of lunch breaks and free hours i have spent in my school's bathroom, just vibing with my friends while listening to beetlejuice, should be concerning.

i talked about it with people and i told them to go listen to it, to gove it a chance. this lead to me having the exact argument with an annoying classmate over and over again about beetlejuice, musicals and fandoms in general. but thats another story for another day.

i created art and wrote as much fanfic as possible. i never published any of the headcanons or fanfiction but im planning on starting soon.

most importantly i ended joining the fandom and actually interacting with people and hoping onto different projects. ive met so many wonderful people because of it and ive made some really wonderful friends.

ive been a part of this fandom for nearly four months and over these four months i have grown both as a person and as a artist and its all because of this wonderful show.

i will never forget thanksgiving a day in which i was able to feel as though i was a part of something, or all the quarantine livestreams that ive seen. i will never forget the time that i woke up to a twitter notification saying that alex responded to my pineapple pizza question or the time when Kerry like my instagram post. but most of all i will never forget to people that ive met.

so thank you beetlejuice the musical for everything! thank you to all the cast and crew who worked hard to bring us this amazing experience! thank you to the wonderful people of the fandom! i cant express how much all of these things mean to me.

while things may suck right now, do remember that every success begins with sucks and ends with yes! and i truly believe that this joke does hold some truth! this is just the beginning of something great! i can feel it! so stay optimistic and weird y'all cuz this is not the end of the line!!!