#i wrote this v quickly so it’s not rlly edited so im sorry if it’s wonky pls !!

[kuroosdarling]

heartache by the number

kuroo x reader

a/n: ANGST/NO COMFORT. big sad emotions here. the title is from a song that goes well with this fic! remember, kuroo loves you and would never do this to you <3

also not tagging anyone on the fic bc i didn’t know if y’all wanna be included on the angst. <33

part 2

“why not me?” you plead, not caring how pathetic you sound. you felt each tendon of your heart snapping as you desperately searched his eyes for an ounce of hope. you were only met with guilt. not only was he shredding you heart, he was stealing your breath, your very lifeline. the air was suffocating and all you could do was stand there and suffer.

“im sorry.” he said tightly. like he couldn’t offer up any more emotion. no, that was all reserved for her now. “it was always her.”

there it was. the killing blow. the basis of the arguments you had been having with each other for the past few months. you finally got your answer. you were right all along. he loved her.

it hadn’t always felt like this. it was only when kuroo had gotten a new coworker is when things started to change. he had been so excited, especially because she used to go to the same high school as him. he had explained how they lost touch after he graduated.

when he talked about her, you saw his eyes begin to shine more and more. she was stealing his heart right before your very eyes. you didn’t want to believe it, so you didn’t. you just pretended she was some far off myth that you’d never have to interact with.

wrong again. he started inviting her to the hang outs with you and your mutual friends. she was beautiful, of course. she got along well with everyone. when he would laugh, his attention was on her. when she smiled, he would gaze over at her and look at her with a softness that used to be reserved only for you.

eventually, you couldn’t hide in your denial anymore. that’s when the arguments started and everything had gotten worse.

kuroo would have more late nights at work, wouldn’t text you as much throughout the day, and he’d never have a good enough excuse as to why.

everything had hit the point today. the last argument. hell, maybe even the last conversation. you look at him, still not believing you were having this conversation with him. you thought back on the way he looked at her, the way he obviously made her feel. the way you didn’t make him feel anything anymore.

“okay.” you said, trying to reel in the sob that was threatening below the surface. you didn’t need any more pity. you weren’t even sure if he felt bad, he had completely turned off his emotions right now. he had always been good at hiding them, and you had always been good at reading him. but now, it’s like the language changed and you’re right back where you started. “let me get my things. i’m going to go stay with bo tonight.”

he nodded. not even another word for you. he looked down at his feet. he couldn’t even look at you now? how the fuck did you get here? the image of her filled your mind again. you let out a defeated sigh and march on to your shared bedroom. you take the essentials as bokuto or someone else can grab the rest of it another day.

you walk back out into the living room. he hadn’t moved. you go to open your mouth to say something but you’re cut off by his phone ringing. instinctually, you look down at the phone laying on the coffee table and see her picture on the screen. of course. you almost laugh to yourself.

you were basically being thrown out of your world while she was more than eager to take your place. probably ready to comfort kuroo once you were gone. you couldn’t waste another moment here. you needed to get out.

you pause at the door for a millisecond, the last bit of hope in you dying out as kuroo doesn’t say anything. you nod to yourself and walk out the door, having no reason to look back.