#i wrote this post for people who didnt see my vision i guess

[maddyshome]

i can explain what i meant by saying the moonscorched form is the delusion of identity. its the lie we think we are turned into reality. rher's speciality.

let me just present my case with all of the fear & hunger termina characters:

levi - his form is the easiest to explain. his past as a child soldier and the background he has with the army made him believe that he is just a weapon. that he is just a number. his life and death are meaningless since he is an object. i have no doubts this was a mindset instilled by his superiors and his military background. levi lives with the illusion he does not matter. the lie that he tells to himself is that he is nothing but a weapon, easily discarded, just another solider sent to his death.

daan - the doctor does not have a moonscorched form. his so called moonscorched form is NOT a form specific to daan as a character. that is the pocketcat. this is the result of daan being born with a blank soul. think of daan like a pov character. the protagonist of the persona games. so why was he a suitable host for pocketcat? most likely because daan was a blank canvas (soul) for pocketcat. the pocketcat is a virus that corrupted the computer and this specific computer called daan has no antivirus. i think the blank soul is the closest soul to the truth since it has no identity that can be corrupted by rher's powers. you can say the delusion could not reach him since he has no perception of himself. daan focuses his life and individuality for others. like his dead wife or the baron.

karin - she is a valkyrie. the valkyrie is a female creature that guides the souls of dead soldiers to valhalla (paradise in the norse myths). but lets not forget, karin is also a journalist in search for the truth. she lives with the illusion she is a harbinger of truth that is burdened by the millions of people harmed by the war that she cannot help. they are dragging her down. the dead soldiers are a burden on her wings. karin has the illusion that she is a savior for these people.

marina - very easy. we get hints at the beginning of her story. marina was not born as a woman, but as a man. if her father knew since back then that she is a he and not a she then marina would become her father's shadow. marina lives with the illusions she is not a real woman and she is burned by her father's duty. she lives with the illusion she owes her father her life as his successor.

olivia - her sister is the machine god. olivia's moonscorched form is a machine-like creature. shes lives with the delusion that she is a failed or lesser version of her sister (she was envious of her sister we get this from her intro). olivia's entire body and ability for movement depends on her wheelchair so her wheelchair became a part of her turning her into a cyborg.

caligura - he was always extremely ugly. its very likely he was bullied as a child. and not just as a child. we see his monstrous side because caligura gave up on humanity. he turned to hatred since he was hated by others. caligura strikes me as a very insecure and hateful individual. his moonscorched form is disgusting because he lives with the illusion he is disgusting no matter what he does or how he acts. he is just a ballsack. no woman wants him. he looks atrocious. no man could ever respect him.

henryk - he wants to be respected. just like caligura, but the difference is that henryk wants to be loved not feared. the gentleman is the new mayor. he has a high position, has a butler, people are FORCED to respect him. henryk lives with the illusion he is someone important, people owe him respect. women should be flattered they were noticed by him. henryk lives with the illusion he has a right to a woman's body because he is the alpha man that pretends to be the nice guy. it's why he kidnaps marina.

marcoh - easy. he looks like a brute type of guy. most people think he is not very smart because he is really quiet and standoffish. his moonscorched form is his own lie. a beast like creature with no human head. he lives with the illusion he is not very bright just like some people say. just another brute.

o'saa - the opposite of marcoh. o'saa lives with the illusion he is smarter than everyone else. he is arrogant and treats people like they are dumb animals. he is a brain like creature that looks down on the other fools who simply try to live. (what's incredibly ironic about o'saa is that his own mindset is influenced by his association with nas'hrah)

THE WEIRDOS

samarie - i have explained it in depth in my last post, but samarie has illusions of grandeur. she thinks people do not see her greatness. she wants to be noticed by marina as someone special, shining like the sun. so her illusion is not accepting her reality and blaming others for not letting her shine.

tanaka - kind of a similar case as samarie. except he lives with the illusion he is just too weak and not a "true" man (maybe what his father wants him to be) that embodies masculine traits (confident, ambitious, strength of will etc)

last text:

so maybe some of you wonder..

why do some characters's "lies" are based on their insecurities and others (like samarie and henryk) are not based on insecurities?

its because we, as people, most of the time think the worst of ourselves. we concentrate on these insecurities and we give them power because we think it is a TRUTH about our identity. sometimes we think its a truth that no one else can see except us.

samarie's and henryk's forms are, at their core, still based on their own insecurities. samarie hides from reality and lives in her lala world where she is radiating. and henryk does the same damn thing. but subconsciously they know their version of reality is a little off so that's how it turns into a insecurity.

OMG GUYS SO SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT ABELLA. GIRL forgive me.

abella - her form looks like a man creature wearing a skirt, not a woman. she lives with the illusion her job, her character and tastes (wears masculine clothing, she is a mechanic, not a feminine woman) turns her into a man. she could be insecure in her own femininity. just like tanaka is insecure because he doesnt think he is "real" man, abella doesnt think she is a "real" woman. i think her case is special since its very likely she was attacked by a parasite like the woodsman (and daan) and this could not be her moonscorched form.

[quotidian-oblivion]

Fic Origin Story

Once again! Didnt get tagged but saw the game and wanted todo it. Also, im in pain and lying in a weird position on the ground cuzbi cant sleep and periods suck so if you see any typos, throw them in the incenerator thing, no you didnt.

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

DC. First fic i wrote is roaming around on tumblr here somewhere and first fic i read is... idk it was something with deaged tim and big brother jason. I didnt like fanfiction at the time and thought it wasnt "real fiction", now look at me.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

FIRST STORY?

Do you mean fanfic orrrrrrrr. Cuz if you go by the very first story i wrote, i would have ben 5 and i wrote about two men, one who was boastful and sefish and the other wasnt and then Allah (God) took away all of the rude man's wealth so when he woke up, everything was gone. I eas prexious back then. But first fanfic was Dick narrating a fairy tale which had all his family in it. It was called 'Cassandra and the Junk Food Industry'. A plah on 'Charlie and the Chovolate Factry'.

What's a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Not much. Cuz younger-me was pretty stubborn abt writing. I still am. No one can talk me out of it. And people have tried. But ig i'd praise her on her writing and ideas. She needed praise more than advice cuz she got plenty of that "advice".

What's an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

Back in the ye old days when my username was 'Mary', i didnt write much fic except on wattpad (shudder). So i got nice comments from that and made a niche supportive writing community which was super cool.

But ig i'mma give my credit to @birdybat for a lot of it cuz she's a cool friend and stuck by me and i her.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

Lemme go hunting on my google docs for one of my wattpad fics for this one.

"First stop, fake future predictions by Madame West!" Peter exclaimed as they got off the subway and made their way to a slightly empty and grimy alley.  "West?" Wally asked, confused. "As in Iris West?" 

Guess what the plot is.

Here's the mostrecent fic i've posted (The Boy In The Cell):

The smell of burning flesh filled his nose and electric blue crackles appeared in his vision along with the angry neon green waves of the Pit. He yanked at his hair and finally let out a scream.

No pressure tags: @sardonic-sprite @wakkoroni @tristicorde @cygnusdoesthings + anyone else

[stillness-in-green]

Looks like you were spot on about AFOs intentions when it came to shigaraki in your mermaid fic. I actually didnt seen anyone predict that one other than you. Do how does it feel to be right?

Holy belated-answers, Batman!  

So, before I get into this, I do want to clarify something--I assume that by “predict that one” you mean the idea that AFO wants to transfer his consciousness into Shigaraki?  To possess him?  I’m going to talk a fair amount about why I actually DON’T think that’s the case, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m unloading that on you personally.  I have a lot of thoughts on it because the possession theory is--from what I’ve seen--actually so common that a number of people take it as a given!  I have Opinions on that, as I do with so many things.

Okay, so: in the mermaid fic, I wrote AFO intending to possess Shigaraki as a nod towards where I used to think the canon was going, but no longer did at the time of writing.  When I posted AFO’s debut chapter to AO3, I said this in an author’s note: 

“He will become the next me,” is the line that turned my feelings on Shigaraki from, “Ugh, why would you waste such a great design on such a trite light novel nihilist?” to, “GO, HAND-MAN, GO GO GO!” I assumed All for One, with his thrashed-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life body, was setting Shigaraki up for some kind of body-thief plotline, and obviously, the bratty, petulant Shigaraki was no match for the experienced, meticulous manipulator that was his Sensei. Immediately, my root-for-the-narrative-underdog instincts kicked in.

That’s not the way the story ended up going, of course, but the thought has remained with me, an important milestone in my relationship with Shigaraki as a character, so when I saw the opportunity to use the line more literally in this AU, I grabbed it with both hands and didn’t look back.

It definitely wasn’t intended to be a prediction!  In fact, I have almost eight thousand words of essay sitting on my hard drive right now about why I don’t think it was AFO’s intention to possess Shigaraki--or at least why I think it’s worth giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Current manga events being what they are, you can see why the essay’s on hold!  I like enough of what’s in there that I will get around to reworking it to a postable state one of these days, but for a preview, there are just too many things that All For One says and does and thinks that make no sense to me if he’s been planning to take over Shigaraki from the beginning.

As far as current events go, it seems likely that he would have known from his own experience that there was at least a chance that giving Shigaraki his quirk would result in Shigaraki having a Sensei vestige, but what in that experience would have suggested that said vestige would have any ability whatsoever to control Shigaraki?  AFO only ever had nightmares about the people whose quirks he took; nowhere does he imply that he ever had to fight with those visions for possession of his own body.

AFO is an egomaniac, sure, but to assume that he can possess Shigaraki just in the form of a vestige?  It’s surely no guarantee--and even if he thought there was a reasonable chance because his will was just that strong, how would that help the real All For One?  I think, at the core, the trouble I have with the vestige possession theory is this:

A) If AFO is the type of person who is too much of an egomaniac to leave the future to a successor whom he hand-raised to be a Symbol of Terror and cause maximum suffering to his personal enemies and the world at large, then surely he’s too much of an egomaniac to cede control to a phantom version of himself that leaves the real him up Shit Creek?

B)  But if AFO is content to cede his future to a duplicate of himself, then why shouldn’t he be content to do the same for Tomura?  

Sure, there’s something to be said for him only recognizing a version of himself as worthy, but I think there’s as much chance that he’d be cautious of another version of himself as welcoming of it, as compared to a successor he would always have some influence over.  I suppose there’s also the idea that Real-AFO has a psychic link with Shigaraki now (as people have been supposing about AFO and Deku since the Joint Training Arc or earlier, and it would explain all the grinning to himself he’s doing in prison and why we keep cutting away to it), but again, theorizing that he could have predicted any of this from the outset is giving him credit for insight that crosses the border into the precognitive.  He’s canny and experienced, but he’s not Sir Nighteye.  And even if he was, that would still leave us for no explanation about e.g. his comment about Best Jeanist’s quirk being ill-suited to Tomura’s personality or all the inner thinking he does about Tomura growing and becoming independent.

Personally, I’d like to see Tomura stalk into Tartarus in the eventual jailbreak arc, explain the situation, and be like, “Sensei, what the fuck?” only to have AFO respond with, “Haha, oh dear, that does sound troublesome!  I didn’t expect my vestige would be so strong!  Leave it to me, I guess.  Oh, don’t worry, Tomura; I have full faith that you’ll be able to overcome it, as you always have everything else.”

Because while I can see AFO trying to take control of Shigaraki if serendipity presents him a chance, I just can’t make that translate to AFO having been planning this all along.  I will, hopefully when the dust settles some on this arc, have rather a lot more to say about the topic.

In the meantime, though, I leave readers with this question: does the vestige reveal mean All For One has had an inner Ujiko cheerleader in his brain for nigh on seventy years??  They really are the world’s best worst married couple.

(P.S.: His intentions towards Shigaraki aside, I did semi-predict the matter of All for One being dogged by the spirits of those he’s stolen from, both in the form of him crying in his sleep in voices not his own in the mermaid fic and in private-chat theorizing about canon with @codenamesazanka about how, if AFO and OFA both have vestiges, why shouldn’t the same be true of any dislocated quirk?  Being right about that feels pretty awesome!)

[philosophicalparadox]

Fanfic masterpost

I can’t add links to Tumblr anymore, but I can still direct your attentions, can’t I? 

For those of you who care (because DAMN my follower count has shot up recently; Thank you!) You can find me on Fanfiction . net under the name Kaze no Akatsuki. I do not post my fanfics on Wattpad (nor anything else for that matter) anymore because frankly, I don’t like the community. I am ALL for constructive critisism, will beg for it even, but even I only have so much patience for people who never have anything nice to say. I also, sadly, don’t post on AO3 though there’s not really a reason for that, I just have never visited the site, so I don’t know what to gauge of it yet. 

That said, here are the titles and summaries of some of my fanfictions if you ever want to check them out. I can’t post them directly here, due to Tumblr rules about word count, (my chapters are always no less than 4k words) as well as the fact that I don’t remotely trust their algorithm not to flag me. But I can redirect!

Note: I will NOT be posting the names/summaries of works that have been discontinued, are on hiatus, or are under revision. The only ones to appear here are completed or in-progress works. 

In the BLUE EXORCIST fandom: 

1. Captivity, an aimless kind of fanfic that just blows where the wind is taking it. I normally have some idea in mind, but this one is just sort of writing itself, if that makes sense. It focuses on Lucifer, Homare, and Beelzebub so far.

Summary:  An intelligence gathering experience forces Lucifer out of his comfort zone, in more ways than one. The threat of unholy war hangs in the air, but that isn't going to stop him from indulging in more...mortal, curiosities. A fic examining the relationship between Lucifer and his siblings, as well as, pressingly, his lieutenant. LuciferXHomare...mostly.

2. Unbecoming: A longer fic, in progress, which is my first ever attempt at dipping into the horror genre. And it is horror. I’m talking gore, lore, and more. If ever you wanted to get a good look at my (dark) interpretation of Mephisto’s demon side, this is the fic for you. Cannibalism included. 

Summary:  What happens when you put a big mind in a small box? A tiger in a cage with lambs? A demon in a room full of exwires? Lucifer wants to find out. Boredom is a demons constant companion, but even Mephisto can only take so much. How long before the demon loses it? A game of wills, wits, and psychological pressure has begun. In the game of chess, only one king can win. Checkmate. 

In the BLACK BUTLER fandom: 

1. Almost Human: The only oneshot I have ever wrote, and also the only T-rated fic I have, though I debated on that rating for a while. An introspective look, I guess, at Ciel (our Ciel) being haunted, literally, by his past. 

Summary:  When Ciel is plagued by visions of the late Vincent Phantomhive, he gets the feeling that his phantasmal father wants to tell him something. Unbeknownst to him, that 'thing' just so happens to have the potential to unravel the complex relationship he has with his demon butler - as well as reveal the darkest sides of himself.

In the HELLSING ULTIMATE fandom: 

1. Telepathic Heart: is THE longest fanfiction I have ever written, and it is complete (for now) with a sequel in the works. Note that it is AluSeras, though AluTegra is mentioned.

Summary:  Breathing some fresh life into an overused plot. Integra is mortal; there's nothing Alucard can do about it. (Not without risking the sanctity of the relationship he has with her anyway) And Mortals die. But sometimes, their ghosts just won't leave- and maybe turn up in some unexpected places. Mostly AluSeras, slight Alu-tegra, and Angst, because Alucard's a widow many times over.

And now, for the fics belonging to fandoms that are not a part of my blog, just in case you are interested in them:

In the SERAPH OF THE END Fandom:

1. Clip My Wings: I don’t actually know about the fate of this one, but I hope to continue with it. 

Summary:  Two friends, torn apart by time, space and species, now take refuge together with the outliers of the Moon Demon Company. It would seem all is saved, but Mika is not human, and he knows it - even if everyone else tries to forget. In the wake of their time spent together, will Yuu and the crew adopt a new attitude towards vampires? And what are the consequences of this? Anime-verse.

In the YU YU HAKUSHO fandom (which I highly recommend to my Blue Exorcist followers; if you know it, you will doubtlessly recognize the hints that are in Captivity): 

1. Words as Weapons: I haven’t updated this fic in so long, though it is still going. I merely have to get around to finishing the next chapter, which is easier said than done. Gosh I wish I didn’t always pick the most complicated character dynamics sometimes. 

Summary:  In which an unprecedented side effect of Yusuke's transformation threatens to either change his world entirely or leave it in a state of total devastation- though as long as Kurama and Hiei are there to pick up the pieces, each is equally as likely to happen. A slightly dark take on Yusuke's demon transformation, with a dash of Yaoi to add some contrast. YusukexKuramaxHiei.

I apologize now if this seems in any way promotional -- it’s not, I swear it! I just wanted my followers to know what to look for and where to find them. (pfft, like you can’t just see my profile, though I don’t think that’s an option open to guests. Hence why I’m putting it here!)

Look around, or don’t, up to you! And THANK YOU to every one who has reblogged, liked  or followed me of late. I appreciate it. ;p

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

How did you get into writing fanfiction? Did you write before you started writing fanfiction? And how/when did you become an exo fan? Ayeeee sorry for so many questions! :P Just curious and love your work!

Ooooo this feels like an interview! Ill put a read more link because it will be long.

I’ll start with the EXO question because that was the catalyst to all of this. I wasn’t an EXO fan until 2015. Prior to that i was a fan of Big Bang though, i watched a ton of korean dramas, like seriously a ton and my vision went bad because of it, but thats another blog post. So after Answer Me 1997/Reply 1997 i became a huge fan of Seo In Guk and followed his work. His singing and his acting and i was super excited about this drama called I Remember You/Hello Monster that he was going to be in.

Well i was already on Tumblr and since i was a BigBang fan, i followed some blogs that reblogged a lot of kpop so i was AWARE of exo, and i even remember seeing that one post about “when d.o. Smiles it happens slowly and his lips tremble at first before he smiles wide” and i was just thinking “man, this fandom…” anyway i knew that kristaolu had just left and things were a bit shaky in the group and that one of them was an actor and was doing some dramas. I didnt pay too much attention until i started watching I Remember You/Hello Monster and this guy is on the screen and he looks just like any other actor yet the fucking VikiComments are going NUTS. Like they are just moving so fast about “OMO he looks so good” and “My babyyyyy” and im just like ‘wtf who is this guy?’ And then i see the word 'exo’ and then 'kyungsoo’ and i think OH this must be the EXO member who is also an actor.

Well….fucking welll….this fucker…fucking do kyungsoo is so amazing in this drama. And he’s only in it in the beginning and in small flashes throughout but he left an impression with his acting long before i ever heard a single EXO song. Long before i heard him singing for real.

Of course i resisted. It was awful. I had my mind full of Big Bang and i didnt have time for anther group and there were SO MANY MEMBERS i think it took me months to be able to tell the difference between Sehun and Luhan and it only really stuck because Luhan left.

So i gave in and went to youtube and i watched Growl and i had already become familiar with Xiumin’s face for some reason, i guess he really just stands out so i was watching him closely beause i recognized him and in my head he was the face of EXO. If i saw Xiumin then i knew that this group of a million people was EXO. So that part in Growl where the camera pans and D.O. Comes in with his part singing….that one single line. That one part was what did it. I paused the video, went back. Watched it again. And then again and again and i felt something realllllly fucking stupid inside my chest and i said “this is the actor…this is that same person. Wtf. Hes got the best voice ive heard in a really long time.” Of course I was this calm. Im always this calm when im dying inside.

Okay so i started following some EXO blogs and watching a whole bunch of videos and by the time i got around to watching all of EXO showtime, i was pretty much falling very hard for this group. They were funny. They were talented as fuck. They were charming and i was a goner. The moment when Kyungsoo left Luhan behind in the haunted house was the kicker. I was in love. Completely and totally and hopelessly in love and there was no going back.

Okay now as far as writing. I wrote a lot in school. I actually REALLY REALLY enjoyed those 10k research papers were you had to cite your sources and be all informative, and i always got good grades on them. But i also read a lot. A lot of books , a lot of fiction and I read a ton of Big Bang fanfiction. I still have my favorites from that time that I Remember very very fondly but I never really came across smut. Hahaha i dont know why but i didnt. Until EXO…because holy shit you guys….this fandom….

Anyway i was aware of fanfiction and i always loved reading and when you find a really good story regardless of it being a book or a fanfiction you kind of just become one with that story and it becomes almost a part of your soul….i was searching for that perfect exo story.

I never wrote creatively prior to Feb 2016 when i started this blog. I knew english well and i understood the general flow of a story but i was under the impression that i wasnt a good creative writer. I dont know why i had this impression but honestly i had never had enough motivation to give it a try.

But i had this idea in my head. This story that i wanted to read but i couldnt quite find anything that fit the bill and so i submitted a request to a fanfiction blog that took requests and got nothing. No response or rejection, nothing, just silence for weeks and weeks and finally i thought “wait, why am i waiting for this…i should just write it” so i sat down and i wrote the first story i ever wrote and called it Buzz and i thought “this is smut, i cant post this to my main blog….i have people there who know me in real life. Hehehe” and so i quickly created a side blog and the first thing that popped into my head was “sobadnoonecanstopher” but it was taken and i added an extra o for kyungsoo and it was available and the rest is fucking history. You guys came and were like “hey this is pretty good? Is this really your first story?” And everyone was nice and sweet and someone was all “can i make a request” and then i wrote “And There She Is” the sehun story and that one really seemed to take off and people were crying (wtf) and i just kept going. And now look at all of you....who ARE you people?!

Sorry this is so long. Bwahaha