#i wrote this in like 2 hours idk if its bad

[bedforddanes75]

smh back related Filth here...

this isnt good enough for me to post on ao3 have it here instead. 18+ and stuff. ok anyway dont tell me if this sucks just leave and dont ever speak again

back fic? george doesnt wanna think and matty likes georges back. no im not projecting what do you mean. warning (technically) Unfinished and bad and idk man just read and again if u dislike (and i find out about it) then DIE im comign to get you. listne to pink floyd and chiiiillll the fuck out IM SO STRESSED i hate posting so much i cant stop speaking im trying to soften the blow (no blowjobs happen) but like i dont know Girl someone get me a gun I REALLY WANT A GUN oh my god OKok ko koko kok ok kok ok ok ok ok juts GO there its'heere

He gets George laid on his front, face pressed right into the pillows and chest fighting to expand under his weight. George keeps making these quiet, almost pathetic noises, whimper-esque, and delicate, and Matty can tell he’s fighting not to grind into the mattress.

“You can make yourself feel good, darling. Go on.”

George responds immediately with the shaky movement of his hips, and a relieved moan, goosebumps rising.

There’s nothing between them now, George already stretched out and far gone, his only thoughts being of Matty and Matty and Matty and Matty. Who is Matty to deny him that pleasure? He’s in awe at how someone can be so beautiful, staring at George’s back like it’s the sun, and it might as well be, because he’s radiating heat like a fire, so desperate to be touched and to feel good that the only outlet is there. George moves his hips slowly at first, and he’s so overwhelmed he thinks he might come just from that, the friction from the sheets more than enough for him.

But he wants Matty.

Matty runs a cold finger down the length of his spine, reverent and appreciative, and George shivers, the motion pulling another quiet noise from him. It’s silent, bar their breathing, and the rustling of sheets, but Matty’s heart is beating so fast that he doesn’t even notice. George isn’t trying to speak, not trying to beg for anything, because he knows if he tries, all that’ll come out is something garbled and stupid, but he doesn’t care, because Matty isn’t making him do any of that today, he just touches and pleases and makes him feel like he’s in heaven.

It isn’t long before Matty’s leaning down over him, letting himself press against George from behind, and whispering things down his neck.

“You want me to make you come? Want me to fuck you, darling?” And George might just cry. He does want it, but he just cannot form the words. Matty doesn’t make him, but when he doesn’t make any move to get off and start properly touching George, George knows that he won’t do anything until he does. He usually forces George to speak when they do it like this, makes him blush and whine and George lets him and loves it, but this time, he’s letting George do things in his own time, pressure all gone, (except in his groin.)

He’s got his hands on George’s waist, now leaning back just to admire him, and George can’t wait any longer. He tries to speak, just the word please, but it doesn’t come out right, and he’s just so desperate that he can’t think to correct himself.

“Just let me look at you a bit, you’re so gorgeous.” Matty doesn’t sound like he’s aware of the fact he exists anymore, so wrapped up in how beautiful George is that time and space no longer accept him as a being, he is simply a conscience left to its own devices, floating around and latching onto this angelic figure beneath where he should be. “Pretty,” he breathes, “So pretty,” again. He’s still drawing lines on George with his nails, like he’s tracing the muscles and all the marks made over the years.

George tries to keep his breathing steady, content with where he is but simultaneously needing more like he needs air, like it’s his only source of life, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t mind, really, he’s just happy to be touched, because every contact with Matty feels better than anything he’s ever taken, and he can’t imagine feeling any better than this. There’s static in his head, only just about covering the words he needs to make Matty do anything, and he wishes it wasn’t there, but he loves it so, so much.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Matty whispers eventually, after years and seconds and days and hours and George can’t reply. He wants it more than anything, but he’s so focussed on trying to figure out how to express that, that he can’t do it. A nod is all he can muster up, but he knows that Matty won’t let him just do that, he needs words, proper, full words. Then, there it is, “I need you to tell me, sweet. Words.”

He’s moved further down George’s body by now, and George didn’t even realise it was happening, but he’s pressing kisses to the dimples at the base of George’s spine, so he can’t complain. Not one bit.

Then, he moves drastically lower, kisses the very top of the line between his legs, just where the fat of his [ass] starts to rise, where his thighs turn from muscle to something soft, and he just leaves his face there for a while. He’s got his chin pressed into the middle of George’s thighs, and his hands still all over his back. That makes him speak.

“Please,” he manages, and Matty seems shocked at it.

“‘Please’ what? Need you to use words.”

George can’t, and he almost feels like crying, so desperate it’s making him shake, but he tries again.

All he can do is say, “You,” like a prayer, again, again, and Matty breathes something shaky in return. But he still doesn’t make any effort to move, just strokes the back of one of George’s arms. “Please, Matty.” It feels like they’re the only words he knows, now, really.

“Just need you to tell me what you want. I’ll do it, just tell me.”

Matty was always careful not to push boundaries and to be extra nice when George got like this, he wouldn’t push anyway, but he treats George like an ornament when he’s like this. George loves it. He likes being told he’s beautiful and being allowed to not think and just feel and feel and feel. It’s nice. It’s the best.

“You. Matty. Please.” Maybe they are the only words he knows, and he doesn’t care – they’re the only words that are important.

If Matty couldn’t understand it from that, he doesn’t know what he could’ve, but, that’s a useless thought, because he’s nodding against George, whispering “Okay.”

“Tell me if you want me to do anything else. Anything you want, sweet. Do anything. Squeeze my hand if you want me to stop.”

George nods.

He has to wait a while, Matty making sure he won't hurt George if he goes too fast, slicking himself up, but then Matty pushes into him gently, gripping George’s hand tightly to keep himself under control, and all of a sudden, it’s all worth it. He’s glad Matty doesn’t have a clear view of his face, then, because he’s bright red, sweating, and he just knows he looks an absolute state. But none of that matters at the moment, because Matty is inside him, and still, and he feels so good, so good, so, so, so, so, so good.

If he thought he couldn’t speak before, that was nothing. He can’t even see, completely taken by the feeling of Matty inside him and touching his back and touching his hair and touching him and touching. Matty is the embodiment of pleasure.

“Feels so good, darling,” Matty breathes, and he must’ve leant down, because George can feel his breath on the back of his neck. He blushes at the praise.

He can’t breathe properly with the pillows covering his face, but he doesn’t have the energy to move, and even the littlest of movements make him completely lose coherency, because Matty’s pressed right up against that spot, and he can’t take it.

Matty thrusts after a while, holding George’s hand and making sure he’s okay every few seconds, but when he does, George sees stars. He’s clearly holding back, because he keeps twitching inside George, and George only wishes he could speak more so he could tell Matty to do what he needs, to take as much as he wants, but, alas, he can’t, and he just settles on letting Matty do what he’s doing now.

The feel of Matty inside him is something he‘ll never get used to, it’s all consuming, feels like he’s turning into a star and becoming something otherworldly and living and dying all at the same time. He can’t word how amazing it is, like knowing he’s safe and letting Matty do whatever he needs, because he knows it’ll be good, and he trusts him.

He, eventually, does start to move properly, but only after multiple weak noises from George, desperate and pleading for anything. Matty grabs his hips, suddenly energised and no longer having the patience to be as gentle as he was, and George loves it. He’ll take whatever Matty gives with an open mouth and a chest left wide open, ribs all snapped to get inside, and this is like a knife made of solid pleasure, because there’s that tiny bit of pain, but it’s covered up by the heat that rushes all down his limbs, right down to his fingers, every single time Matty hits that spot inside him, and then everything is all okay.

Soon enough, Matty’s got his nails in the soft, weak skin of the space just below George’s v-line, digging into the flesh and wanting to claw him apart simply because it’s the only possible way to express how intense everything he’s feeling is. George lets the pain bloom and he whimpers into the bed.

“You okay?” Matty asks, and he nods, enthusiastic and truthful and just wanting more.

That’s all he needs, and he seems to lose some amount of his self control, because he starts fucking into George harder, one hand going back to his waist to keep steady, and the other going to his hair. He doesn’t pull just yet, but George wouldn’t complain if he did, taken by the pleasure. Matty’s nails are pressing slightly, and he welcomes the sting.

The sweet, soft, gentle Matty is almost fully gone now, and he’s changed back into something like what he usually is in just a few minutes, and it’s making George sick with want. He’s tightening his grip on George’s hair more and more by the minute, and by now, it’s starting to sting.

George doesn’t think anything’s going to change after that, just thinks Matty’s going to make him come like this, and he has no reason to think anything else. That is, until Matty yanks George’s head towards himself by the hair, and George can’t help the moan he lets out. It’s loud and undignified, but Matty likes it all the same, apparently, because he holds tighter, and keeps his head there for a second. George thinks he might come just from that, the feel of Matty in his hair, tugging.

Heat ripples from his scalp, and it’s not helped by Matty starting to speak. “Fucking back, so beautiful. Perfect. It’s so pretty, fuck.” He keeps speaking until he finally unthreads his fingers from George’s hair, but George can still feel the ghost of his palm. He fixes his grip properly onto his hips and waist instead.

He’s definitely digging his nails into that pale flesh, and it wouldn’t shock George if, when he moves, there’s skin left beneath them. He’s being gentler than normal, which George is grateful for, because he knows that if Matty did anything that was any more intense than pulling his hair, he’d be coming within a minute of him sinking inside.

He can feel heat building in his stomach, and, all of a sudden, he’s overly aware of the sheets rubbing against himself, hard against them, and he whimpers, eyes squeezing. Matty’s starting to stroke his hair, and ramble.

“You feel so fucking good, Jesus Christ. Fuck, George.” He’s digging his thumb into a space near one of the dimples on George’s back now, almost like he wants it to bruise so he’s got proof of it, like the proof isn’t George’s very existence.

George gets closer a lot sooner than he’d like to, but he just can’t help it, because Matty is telling him how good he feels and how well he’s doing over and over again, and there’s so much happening, like the feel of Matty hitting just where he needs every time and the feel of himself against fabric and the image of what he must look like in his head. It’s all too much. Almost.

He doesn’t realise he’s crying until Matty slows down, taps him, asks if he’s okay, and he just nods, nods like it’s keeping him alive, manages to turn his head enough to the side to say “Please, please, Matty, please,” and then his eyes roll back.

He’s so close, whining and whimpering nonsense and trying to form words to warn Matty, failing, but not caring, because he’s blinded by how good it feels, and Matty isn’t letting up, in fact, he’s fucking him harder, pulling George’s hips into his own with every thrust, determined to make him come.

It doesn’t take long before he’s right on the edge, just needing a tiny bit more, and then Matty fists a hand into his hair once more, and he’s gone. The combination of Matty fucking him so good, with the sharp pain on his scalp, is better than anything he could’ve imagined, and he cries out as he comes, over and over, moaning into the pillows and clenching his fists, begging with completely incoherent noises. Matty keeps moving for a bit, and George doesn’t have the mind to protest, nor does he want to, he’d rather lie in the afterglow and be only half aware of how overstimulated he’s becoming.

He doesn’t really notice when Matty comes, and he doesn’t notice virtually anything else for a while after, either, just lets himself be moved around as Matty tries his best to clean him, trying to manoeuvre him into some position easier to clean from, and not doing very well, because…well, the size of George.

sorry ending Shit possibly all shit but whatever i wrote most of it. enjoy life

[siriuslylantsov]

mistletoe

pairing: spencer reid x reader

description: in which you and spencer decorate your apartment for christmas.

tags: fluff, roommate!spencer, gn!reader, idiots in love, pinning, decorating!, spencer lifts reader up super quick, reader teases spencer bcs its fun, a little singing.

a/n: woahhh first christmas fic. MY BAD i listened to our love by curtis harding when i wrote majority of this so it just became what it did (not rlly sure what that is). you'd think a reader fond of christmas would only be playing christmas songs (esp when decorating), but she doesn't even?? idk guys. also i gave a hack making a header for this one, might continue making them. anyway lmk what you think, happy reading :))

wc: 1.7k

“tacky, tacky, tacky...” you drone, fingers skimming over the themed trinkets and signs on the shelves. you’re christmas decor shopping with spencer. it's almost the end of november, which you personally think is too late (being a strict ‘christmas starts on november 1st’ believer), but you had no choice in the matter, wanting to wait for spencer's schedule to free up so you could go together. 

“oh cute!” you chirp, picking up a porcelain snoopy with a santa hat on. you show it to spencer, who trails behind you with a sparsely filled cart. “beside the-”

“tv,” he finishes for you, nodding in agreement. you place it in the cart and continue walking down the aisle.

“i hope you’re checking the price tags,” he muses from behind you, scanning over all the items. you shoot him a look paired with an unconvincing “yeah.”

“be serious,” he says, though a little amused.

“i am,” you step closer to him, meeting his somewhat challenging gaze. you try to hold your ground but something about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners as he squints at you makes you want to look away. “fine, i'll look over everything before check out. deal?”

he smiles, victorious. “deal.” he holds out his hand and you give it a firm shake before continuing your perusing.

you spend the next 2 hours like that, complaining about the abundance of generic things and squealing when you do find something nice. in the end, settling on an assortment of baubles, to add on to the ones you already had from last year, a new green blanket, a mulled-wine scented candle (that took you way too long to pick), the snoopy ornament, and 2 matching mugs which you had to sweet talk spencer into buying. you can never have too many mugs. 

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

you light the new candle and set it on the dining table, briefly glancing at the flame. the warmth on your face feels nice but you pull away quickly, knowing that if spencer catches you that close to the candle, he’ll chastise you about the fumes. 

he's digging through the closet for last year's decorations. the tree is already up–7ft something–tucked in the corner of the living room, bare and in dire need of some personality. he finds the box, and you pull out the fairy lights, starting to swirl the wire from the top down, spencer opposite you to help.

music faintly plays from your speaker, so you turn it up, landslide by fleetwood mac.

you circle around the tree with a handful of baubles, a collection of reds and whites, hanging them up where they felt right. spencer nudges you for approval on a few placements and you give him a reassuring smile. the two of you move in sync, on either end. he places a custom ornament of his team somewhere to the front of the tree. when you put up the last of the new ones, you take a step back and give it a good look. happy, spencer hands you the star. he hovers two tentative hands under your arms, over your rib cage, to lift you. there’s a stool near you that would’ve been perfectly fine, but you wiggle in his grasp anyway, telling him he can. despite his lanky frame, he picks you up with ease. you place the gold topper on firmly. when he puts you down you lean back into him, swaying. you hum quietly to the music. he presses his lips into your hair, lingering, before pulling away. you instantly miss his warmth, but you don't dwell on it, why should you?

the click of the kettle sounds from the kitchen, he's probably making tea. you think to tell him to use the new mugs, but he already knows. you're still swaying, head dipping up and down as you move across the room. you look through the box for more things to decorate with when your eyes land on a sprig of artificial leaves held together with a red bow.

“hey, when did we get mistletoe?” you call out, hoping your voice carries to the adjoining room.

“hmm?” he pokes his head through the door, looking at the item in your hand. “oh... penny got it for us last year, didn't put it up though.” he explains before returning to the tea, you put it in your pocket for later. you were well aware of what his teammates thought of you, or rather you and him. over the course of the 2 years you lived with spencer, you’d been taken to their family dinners and get-togethers as his plus one, never a girlfriend or a date, you. they ceased their relentless teasing for your benefit, but you knew spencer got the brunt of it when you weren't around. they mean well, they’re just annoying, he told you after you met them for the first time. 

you saunter over, ready to tease him. you can't help but want to, he's just so easy. plus, you think it's endearing when he's flustered. “you wanna put it up?” you ask with a smirk, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“what! oh- i don't know, no- uhm- well i don't mean no like it would be bad a bad thing- i just mean–” he stammers nervously, eyes wide and slightly panicked, before you cut him off with a laugh. 

“calm down, pretty. i'm just joshin’ ya.”

he lets out a sigh of relief, though it's laced in hidden disappointment. he wouldn't mind if you put it up, wouldn't mind at all. he hands you your mug, navy with little yellow speckles that resembled stars. with his own in hand, he leads you out of the kitchen.

you settle on the couch beside each other. your shoulder lightly bumps against his in steady beats because you're still swaying, as you blow at your drink. worried about you spilling he peels it from you and sets it down on the arm rest to cool on its own. your knee is bouncing now as the next song starts playing, our love. 

“there's a girl in town and words gone around she's just fine,” you sing quietly, head dropping onto his shoulder. “so i don't worry my head cause i know her heart is tied to mine.” you tip back onto the cushions, and you raise a dramatic hand to your chest, over your heart. “the life that we live and the love that i give to her. each day it grows more and more i'm sure, it shows. well,” you shift to face him, leaning closer. 

“our love, is a bubblin' fountain. our love, that flows into a sea. our love, deeper than any ocean. our love, for eternity.”

you quiet as the second verse starts playing, switching to mouthing the lyrics instead. you look at him with a reverie, head tilted in observation, that makes him nervous. “…he holds me down for sure.” in diligent self-sabotage, he combats this by starting to sing along with you, putting his mug down beside yours, effectively ending the moment as you spring in recognition.

your eyebrows furrow in amusement as you follow suit, planting your hands on his shoulders to move his in tow with yours. the angle is awkward, and he looks a little silly as he does it but it's fine. the chorus plays through and you tire, dipping your head back into his shoulder as he returns your mug to you, albeit still quietly mumbling the lyrics. 

you practically chug the tea, having reached an ideal temperature. spencer sits sipping slowly, a serial sipper. you curl into his side in the meantime, arm looped through his. after several minutes, he finishes and you take both mugs to the sink, rinsing them swiftly. 

you slowly but surely continue decorating. two stockings adorned with your initials hang from the key rack in the hallway. handmade paper snowflakes are stuck to the window, snowflakes that had you and spencer hunched over in concentration on the floor a few nights ago, tediously cutting away. you go back and forth on whether the tinsel would go well with the tree, realising all it missed was something sparkly, you wrap it around. spencer nails a simple wreath on the front door, there's a little purple bow on it. snoopy is placed in the midst of the trinkets that sat at your tv table–good choice, you think. you change out the pillowcases on the couch for ones with a red flannel pattern and throw the new blanket across the back. 

the space is perfect, standing in the middle of the room you take a deep breath. waxy candle scented greatness fills your senses, and somehow pine? from the wreath you assume. it's dimly lit, and the low light reflects off the sparkles on the tree gracefully. you wish you had a fireplace during times like this, you take a picture to preserve it anyway. 

you leave to change into your pyjamas, quickly so the cold doesn't linger on your skin. when you return to the living room you find spencer on the couch, a book perched in his lap. you come up to the back, mistletoe that you fished out of your pocket in hand. you crouch behind him, a little to his right, with the leaves dangling over his head. you graze it lightly on his hair and he looks up. his eyes widen slightly in realisation, but he doesn't try to move, he's intently still. with an amused huff, you lean in and kiss his cheek softly. he's still frozen in place, so as to prolong whatever's happening, a flush spreading across his face. you lean back and drop the sprig into the seat beside him. 

“goodnight spencer,” you whisper, suddenly timid. he touches his fingers to the area as you walk away. 

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

a few hours later, he walks into your room, quietly padding across the floor, to your side of the bed. he made the mistake of drinking a cup of coffee a few minutes after you left and now, he can't sleep, naturally. he bends and presses a kiss to your forehead, in some kind of implied reciprocation. you don't feel it, you don't even stir, but for now, that's alright with him.

he’ll put the mistletoe up, maybe in the doorway to the kitchen. and hope to god you both find yourselves under it at the same time.

m.list | comments and reblogs are appreciated :)

[7ouls]

daisuke x fem reader where they’re both super awkward and swansea is tired of them being oblivious to the way they feel for eachother that he makes both of his interns work on a project together

omg i totally loved writing this even tho i hcent written in a while so it might look weird? im really sorry its been a long time… (and its pretty short sorry abt that) also swansea is probably a bit ooc (i think u say it like that? idk) cause i have really bad memory so sorry abt that too…

this is set before the crash

No matter how many times the two interns tried to communicate it would always end up being awkward since everyone but them knew about their obvious crush on each other.

Nobody cares enough to help them realise that, except their boss Swansea.

That shortly explains how the three of them are now repeating the bases of engineering.

“So is that clear?” The older man looked at the young adults as they nodded.

“Great, i don’t have to repeat myself for once. Now to see how much you’ve understood try to fix this.”

He said taking an old radio that sat behind him and handed them the needed tools. He then proceeded to leave but not before giving a smirk to his interns that blushed as a reaction.

Daisuke was the first to speak up. “I didn’t actually understand all of it.”

Y/n giggled at the boy and he soon joined too. “Don’t worry… I barely managed to take some notes. Swansea isn’t really the best teacher…”

“But we don’t really have much of a choice”

“Right, so here. You can read some of my notes and umm… i guess start working.” She said handing him her notebook. He started quietly reading all of it as the girl got slowly closer and closer to read with him.

After a while Daisuke stopped and thanked her, then realised how close she’s gotten to him. Y/n panicking apologised as she didn’t notice the close distance between them.

He quickly straightened himself. “No need to apologise! We’re supposed to work together so that eventually would’ve happened, not that i mind anyways…” He muttered the last part.

Y/n raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t question it. “We should get the work started now.” She said as he nodded happily.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It has been around two hours when the two finally ended their work and were now chatting.

“Sooo… would you be free after dinner tonight?” Daisuke asked nervously, Y/n blushed at the question then smiled. “I mean… there’s not much else to do so yes. Why do you ask?”

The boy grinned and answered. “Well, i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. Would you like to play on my gameboy with me? We can take turns! And then we can eat all the sweets that i have and stay up all night!” He exclaimed out of breath.

Y/n was surprised to hear the boy so excited and soon replied. “Sure, we can do that. We’ll just have to make sure to be quiet or else we’ll wake the captain up.” Daisuke happily nodded as he watched the girl get up and wave at him.

When she left he let put a puff of air he didn’t know he was holding. “Holy moly. She’s like super cool!”

i took the gameboy idea from a daisuke fanfic on here but i dont remember the tag. sorry this is kinda short as i said i have to get used to weiting it’s been like 2 years since i last did it. maybe i’ll write about that sleepover soemtime!! (i swear this looked longer whem i wrote it on my diary)

[etherealising]

chapter one | a berzatto family christmas

masterlist | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmen berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!michael berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: you reunite with carmy years later at the berzatto family christmas party.

warnings: language (cursing), blasphemy, angst (maybe?), spoilers kinda (if you haven't seen season 2 don't read), the berzatto family, not dialogue heavy, very subtle hints to mikey being suicidal, probably ooc!characters, idk what else but if you find something let me know please! not beta’d and minimal editing so sorry for any mistakes. i also wrote this overstimulated on caffeine so if it doesn’t make sense or it’s repetitive then we know why : )

semantics: no use of Y/N: reader goes by the nickname Baby it has a backstory and its literally so simple, if this bothers you idk what to tell you, sorry : (

wc: 4.7k

You were standing on the sidewalk, nerves filling your body as you hyped yourself up to take the few steps left to the porch and ring the doorbell. You shouldn’t have been so nervous, you knew that but your mind was spinning with the myriad of scenarios both good and bad; that could play out once you stepped foot past the threshold. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much that you were nervous to enter the house itself, it was the fact that you’d be face to face with your childhood best friend for the first time in you didn’t even know how long. Maybe childhood best friend was a stretch you had only been introduced into each other's lives due to circumstance, and because of that forced proximity, you both took comfort in having someone stable around.

The two of you weren’t friends because you had chosen each other, or because you had met in kindergarten and shared toys in the sandbox because the other kids were stingy. No, you met because as a single mom, your mother needed all the shifts she could get even if that meant working the graveyard shift at the hospital, and only seeing you a handful of hours throughout the day because most times she was too dead on her feet to be conscious for more than a few hours. And when she could no longer pay the babysitter her next best option was the eccentric woman across the street who had children close in age with you.

Enter Donna Berzatto, a woman who came to feel like a second mom to you. It's not that she replaced your mom, no one could ever replace her, but she was the only real mother figure you knew for a time in your life. Who took you in as her own when your mother needed a new babysitter, and not just you but integrated your mom into the family as well, when she was spared the time off from nursing. Donna Berzatto who never sent you home empty-handed, and always made enough food for you and your mom to last throughout the week, just so your mother wouldn’t have to worry about fitting grocery shopping into her already hectic schedule. Donna Berzatto who, even when you were old enough to no longer need a babysitter, would send Carmy across the street to fetch you for family dinner, or even just invite you over because she thought you needed company.

Now that you were thinking about it, it seemed like you were more friends with his mom than you ever were with Carmen Berzatto. But then that would be a lie wouldn’t it?

You and Carmen Berzatto were friends due to circumstance, maybe even best friends. You weren’t just friends at his house, but you were school friends, you were everywhere friends. He really was your only true friend, of course, you had school friends, but that’s just what they were. You saw them Monday through Friday for a mandatory education, never an hour before school started or a minute after the final bell. Which didn’t necessarily bother you, but sometimes you longed for a weekend invitation to hang out, not that it ever came. And it wasn’t like you were shunned or unpopular in school, you were just average, you didn’t see a point in making friends with people you weren’t actually interested in befriending.

That’s what made Carmy so different, yes maybe you were only introduced due to circumstances but that didn’t stop the two of you from latching onto each other for dear life. Your mom always wondered how you two even established the friendship you did, with both of you being shy and never feeling the need to go out of your way to make friends. Include the fact that you had been neighbors practically your whole lives and never once taken an interest in each other aside from shy waves and curious childlike staring when either of you would be outside.

Your relationship with Carmen progressed as any childlike relationship would, you befriended each other, had your incessant petty arguments and fights, nothing ever serious enough to actually cause damage just childish antics. And it continued to progress through middle school and high school, the two of you were each other’s person, you just understood each other, the two of you let the other understand you, and wanted to be understood by each other.

You could also recall what you explain as a minute change in your friendship. As Senior year approached and you and Carmy continued to grow into yourselves, you developed a slight crush on the boy you had grown up with. It obviously wasn’t as small as you thought it was if you were standing in front of his childhood home giving yourself a pep talk just to ring the damn doorbell though was it?

The unsolicited card and wrapped present weighed heavy in your tote bag, as your breath was made visible by the chilly Chicago weather.

It was Christmas and for all intents and purposes you had been planning on mailing the present to Carmen’s New York address, but after visiting The Beef on your way back into town Mikey and Richie had let it slip that indeed the infamous Berzatto sibling would be gracing everyone with his presence this holiday season.

It was moments like these you wished you had picked up on the Berzatto family’s horrible smoking habit, thankfully your mom had taught you just how vital having functioning lungs was.

Your head shot up as the sound of loud rambunctious voices drew your attention to the front door opening and closing revealing a face you were all too familiar with and actually relieved to see. The oldest Berzatto brother stood on the porch, hands on his hips as he gave you a goofy smile. You could feel your lips stretching into a smile of your own, the infectious aura that Michael Berzatto exuded doing wonders to calm your racing mind.

“I know you didn’t come all this way just to stand outside staring at my family home like a fucking weirdo Baby.” Mikey’s smile grew in size as he teased you.

You rolled your eyes at the childhood nickname you wish hadn’t stuck as Mikey opened his arms to wrap you in one of his signature hugs. The two of you stood on the porch embracing each other for what felt like hours, you needed this hug as much as he needed it, you knew it and Mikey did too. That was the thing about you and Mikey although not blood-related it was as if your souls knew each other in a past life. Of the Berzatto siblings, Mikey was the last sibling you developed a relationship with. Growing up he was always just Carmy’s older brother but as you grew up surrounded by him, he became your surrogate older brother as well. And when Carmy dashed off to pursue his culinary dreams in New York, you and Mikey grew even closer.

You stepped back from the embrace, your eyes finding Mikey’s as he looked at you with a knowing glint in his eyes. “You not standing out here cause of a certain Chef in that house are ya?” Mikey asked, smirking down at you.

You chuckled “The only reason I come around anymore is for Mama Donna.” You joked doing a poor job to convince Mikey.

He nodded, tossing his head back with a laugh, “You were always a shit liar Baby. Carmy’s an idiot, don't let him ruin your Christmas.”

You let out a sigh head resting against Mikey’s chest as you tried to let his words soothe you even more, “He’s not ruining it, you just know things have been kind of stilted between us, and I don’t know this whole situation just feels awkward.”

You raised your head to look at Mikey again, “It’s awkward right? Am I making things awkward? I don’t wanna ruin Christmas Mikey, I know how your mom is and I know how Carmy is, I don’t wanna ambush him.”

The worry in your voice was evident as Mikey stood there listening to your ranting. His hand reached out as he used his thumb to massage away the frown between your eyebrows. “Calm down Baby, you know Ma is expecting you, and she wouldn’t take it well if you missed Christmas. She looks forward to seeing you every year, you give her a piece of Carmy when he can’t be fucking asked to come home and visit.” His hand moved down to cup the side of your neck rubbing soothing circles where his thumb rested, “Do it for Ma okay? Let Carmy be fucking wonder boy Carmy a’ight.”

You laughed nodding your head as best as you could with Mikey’s hand holding it, he smiled giving you one last hug before dropping his hand to grab your wrist and tug you into the house. You stopped him by placing a hand on his arm that was connected to yours.

“Hold on Mikey, I got you something.” You moved to start rummaging through your tote bag stalling because you were too nervous for his reaction to the present.

“Awe you didn’t have to get me nothing.” You turned back to him with the present in your hands as he held his own hands over his heart mockingly. You knew Mikey didn’t do well when it came to sentimental things and the best you would get out of him was a joke as opposed to anything else.

You laughed holding the rectangular wrapped present out to him, “I wanted to Mikey, don’t think of this as a gift, think of it uhh…as a show of appreciation yeah?” You nodded feeling your face heat up as you dropped your head so he couldn’t see how unsure you were about the gift.

He smiled, finding your shyness endearing before tearing into the neatly wrapped paper and revealing a frame, his hands engulfing it from end to end. He smiled looking at it before you saw confusion etch across his face, “This is great Baby, yeah but uh what the fuck am I looking at?”

You shove his shoulder before laughing at him and grabbing the frame out of his hands but holding it in front of your chest so he could still see its contents, “It's a trademark certification you dumbass, can’t you fucking read Mikey.” You joked to try and underestimate how big of a gift this was.

Mikey’s brows furrowed before he snatched the frame out of your hands to get a better look at the certificate sitting behind the glass, eyes snapping back up to your face with a look you couldn’t read. You shuffled your feet feeling like you overstepped a boundary you didn’t even know was between you and Mikey, “Don’t worry though I-I, put it in your name, it’s not like I trademarked it for myself or anything. I just know how much this means to you and I, I know shit has been tough lately and I’m sorry if you feel like I stepped on your toes but…Mikey, you deserve good things too okay?” You hadn’t meant to go on a rant, but you could feel the apprehension leaving you as you became passionate in every word you spoke.

“You deserve to be fucking happy Mikey, and I, I want you to know I fucking believe in you and I’m always in your corner. If it's-” You were cut off by Mikey clearing his throat, causing your eyes to snap back up to his, all the emotions he didn’t know how to translate into words swirling in his brown eyes, a small smile resting on his lips.

“Mikey-,” Before you could get another word out you were once again trapped in his comforting embrace, this hug conveying something completely different from the earlier one you shared. Mikey’s head tucked into your neck as you felt his uneasy breathing through your hands clutched around him. Mikey wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, and feeling a tear of his smear against your cheek as he raised his head from your neck and settled his bearded cheek against yours, you weren’t sure if you had done the right thing by giving him the gift or not.

The two of you stood in silence as you allowed Mikey his moment, not wanting to make him feel insecure about you being present while he was being emotional. When he finally pulled away you could see the leftover sheen in his eyes. He tucked the framed certificate under his arm as both his hands reached up to grab your face in both of his hands, eyes finding yours, a whispered “thank you, baby,” leaving his lips as he placed a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed the frame again and wrapped you in another hug.

His head rested atop yours as your face rested against his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. You lied, you thought the last hug was different, but no it was this hug that was different, while the second hug you shared in the span of 20 minutes was a hug of love and gratitude. This hug felt heavier, like there were things Mikey wanted to tell you but couldn’t, things he only felt he could convey through a hug, things you weren’t sure if you wanted to question or not.

It had been almost 20 minutes since Michael had escaped the house to do whatever the fuck it was he was doing outside. Carmy didn’t know and in all honesty he didn’t actually give a shit either, too busy helping Donna out in the kitchen to try to give any thoughts to whatever had grabbed Mikey’s attention.

He was focused in the corner of the kitchen making Tiff Sprite to help alleviate her nausea symptoms. Anyone else would have done their best to block out the rambunctious noises going on throughout the house, not Carmy though, the chaos fueled him, it grounded him. If the house was quiet it would have been too much for him, to be alone with his own thoughts ping-ponging around in his head, waiting for a chance to drown him. So if he had to listen to his mom list a plethora of things he needed to make sure happened for Christmas dinner to go off without a hitch while he was making Sprite from scratch, he welcomed it.

He finished his concoction just in time for Richie to walk through the kitchen, the older man trying to figure out how the fuck it was even possible to make Sprite from scratch. Gratefully taking the glass Carmy had offered to him, marveling at the carbonated drink in his hand.

Carmy nodded in his direction, “Yo Cousin, where the fuck is Mikey. He just fucking disappeared.” Carmy’s head swiveled around the kitchen double checking whether his brother was there or not, coming up empty in his search. Richie glanced up before settling his eyes back on the drink in his hand still doing the mental math to wrap his head around what the fuck Carmy just made.

Richie jutted his head in the direction of the front door, “Outside talking to Baby.” His eyes finally focused on Carmy’s in time to see the frown grace the younger man’s face, his eyebrows pinching together in agitation, annoyed that his brother was on a phone call rather than inside. Though that’s what Carmy told himself subconsciously he knew he was just annoyed at the fact that Mikey was even talking to you at all. Carmy didn’t think he was possessive but as you and Mikey grew closer through the years, he couldn’t help but feel miffed about the ever growing friendship between the two of you. You and your friendship with Carmy was the first thing in his life that he felt like was actually his and his alone.

It’s funny really for Carmy to think he has any sort of claim over you, or like the two of you were even really friends anymore. When he left Chicago to pursue his culinary dreams, he left you behind to, essentially ghosting the one real friend he did have. It’s not like he meant to, you two just went your separate ways after graduation, and he wasn’t even sure if there even was an “Us” when it came to the two of you anymore. If that was the case the only person he had to blame was himself, it was no fault of yours that your friendship had hit a plateau, Carmy hadn’t responded to a text of yours in years, and the fact that you still texted him to this day caused a slight pain in his chest as he stood in the middle of his mother’s kitchen, frown still etched into his features.

“He’s outside on the phone with Baby?” Carmy questioned the ache in his chest doing nothing to alleviate his irritation. It was Richie’s turn to frown reciprocating the same confused look Camry wore.

“What - No dickhead, he’s talking to Baby, like she’s right in fucking front of him and shit.” Richie swatted the side of Carmy’s head like a child. “Your moms invites her to every holiday, Cousin, and she comes every time.” Richie knew the last bit wasn’t necessary but felt Carmy rightfully deserved it, all anyone wanted from the youngest Berzatto was a visit.

“Dudes been out there for fucking ever though, those to idiots just standing outside like a bunch of fucking jackoffs.” Richie left the kitchen not waiting for Carmy to follow him before heading to the front door. He stopped moving the curtain on one of the side windows to spot two of the people he considered family. He let out a low whistle nudging Carmy’s shoulder who had finally joined his side nodding his head to the window.

“Get a load of these fucking losers hugging on the porch like they’re in some fucking Hallmark movie or some shit.” Richie laughed pointing at you and Mikey through the window. Carmy leaned closer to get a peak at what Richie was going on about.

Carmy hated to admit it, but Richie was right, the too of you looked like the happy couple who just saved a small town’s Christmas or whatever the fuck Hallmark movies were about. Mikey had finally separated himself from you long enough for Carmy to take in your features. He’d be lying if he said the years apart made him forget what you looked like. You were still the same girl he left in Chicago all those years ago except the wand of maturity had touched you, and in his opinion he thought you looked more beautiful than you had in high school.

Carmy was never one to pay too much attention to a woman’s features, and not because he didn’t care, it's just that he didn’t think it mattered. But as he drank in your form he learned in that exact moment why a woman might want people to notice the small things. Like the haircut you were sporting that Carmy felt shaped your face well, not that he knew shit about stuff like that, but he could appreciate art when he saw it. The outfit you picked out doing wonders to compliment your tall form and accentuate your legs. Carmy could look at you all day, scratch that he wanted to look at you all day.

He was torn from his reverie as Richie narrated the scene happening in front of them, “Aw look at these fuckers lookin all in love an shit.” He joked watching as Mikey slung his arm around you and led you towards the door, what looked to be a frame held in his other hand. The two of you walked side by side, your arm wrapped around his torso, hugging him into your side, Mikey’s head leaning slightly down to whisper something in your ear a small smile gracing your face as Mikey pressed his lips onto your temple lingering there for what Carmen swore was forever.

The tightness in his chest intensified tenfold as the realization of just how close you and Mikey had become sank into him. He didn’t know how to feel, his brain not even allowing any emotions to process, saving himself from any conclusions he might come to from a split second interaction.

Carmy left, he chose his path, he knew this, and he had no regrets he would pursue his dream every time the opportunity was presented. He just wished that, maybe if he held onto you as tightly as you still held onto him, it would’ve been him greeting you on the sidewalk on Christmas Day, being the sole object of your attention holding you close to his longing body. He knew overall the decisions he made regarding you were wrong, while he ignored your daily text and calls enough times for you to just resort to monthly check ins asking him about his endeavors and congratulations as you heard about his achievements in the culinary industry, he knew deep down that Mikey answered every text and call you sent his way, made it his mission to connect with you anytime you were back in Chicago.

Carmy couldn’t admit it to himself but deep down he knew his family saw spending time with you as a way to stay connected to him. You were the closest thing any of them still had to Carmy, and even though he had essentially cut you off from his life, his family loved you too much to allow Carmy’s shortcomings to affect their relationship with you.

He was broken from the recesses of his mind as Richie threw the door open stepping over the threshold raising his hands in the air to welcome you and Mikey into the house. The glass of Sprite still clutched in his left hand, a broad smile spread across his face as you left Mikey’s hold to greet Richie eyes not having spotted Carmy who was hidden behind Richie’s small frame.

Carmy’s first up close look at you in years were your hands wrapped around Richie’s torso as he pulled you into a hug, rocking the two of you back and forth, Richie let you go quickly turning his body back into the house “A’ight fuckers you can all stop pretending you care so much about Carmy and his little rat in the chef hat bullshit. We got the real deal here now, Baby's gracing us with her journalist presence.”

Carmy’s brows furrowed at Richie’s dig only slightly offended about being compared to a fictional character named after pasta, too caught up in allowing the sound of your laugh to grace his ears for the first time in what felt like forever. Mikey had finally caught up to you standing behind you with a hand placed on your shoulder, Carmy watched as his brother’s hand glided up and down your arm before giving your bicep a slight squeeze and nodding his head in Carmy’s direction.

If Carmy was being honest it was becoming increasingly difficult to quiet his mind that was eagerly trying to piece everything together. From yours and Mikey's prolonged moment on the porch, to the kiss he placed on your temple, add in Richie’s jokes and the almost constant physical contact between you and Mikey and Carmy was sure he figured shit out.

You looked to where Mikey motioned his head finally noticing Carmy’s figure standing there while Richie ran off towards the stairs after his impromptu introduction. Looking at Carmy was like being in a Time Machine, nothing had drastically changed, he looked more exhausted than what you remembered. But overall he was the same Carmy you parted ways with all those years ago.

A small smile graced your lips as you took him in, he was still your Carmy appearance wise, and right now for you that was all that mattered. You lifted your hand in a small wave gaining his attention, your smile growing wider as your eyes locked with his.

The clearing of a throat broke you from your thoughts, Mikey’s hand giving your shoulder a squeeze as he walked you two into the house before shutting the door behind him. As he finished he stood in front of you so that Carmy was partially covered from view by each brother in your line of vision though your focus was taken up by the eldest. He gave you a reassuring smile before gently knocking his fist against your chin and presumably turning to leave you and Carmy alone.

As Mikey walked past Carmy he gave him his signature grin and a wink before patting his shoulder as left to check on Donna in the kitchen and mingle with the other guests.

Carmy’s face was still set in the same frown it had been in when he first asked Richie where Mikey ran off to. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves before taking a step to close the gap between you, your hand reached out to gently squeeze Carmy’s arm though stopping in midair as you watched him subtly flinch. Your smile faltered, your hand finding its rightful place at your side. You looked up to see the apology in Carmy’s eyes, you did your best to brush the moment off, maybe you came on too strong, maybe it wasn’t fair that you were still pushing for a friendship when Carmy had given you all the reasons to stop trying, maybe the Carmy in front of you was a different Carmy to the one you used to know. Maybe the life where it was you and Carmy had finally taken its last breath and you were just too clingy and desperate to realize.

You cleared your throat trying to alleviate the lump forming from the thoughts that were racing through your brain. The small placating smile on your face there to stop you from having a full breakdown in the Berzatto’s foyer. “Its good to see you Carmen, I hope New York is treating you well.” You lips wrapped around the generic greeting forcing yourself not to say anything you might regret.

Carmy nodded his head rapidly accepting your lackluster words, his lips parting and closing all in the same breath. The man obviously had nothing to say to you, and maybe you just had to accept that. You stayed a moment longer cursing yourself for doing so as the air between you two filled with palpable tension.

“Baby, is that you? My goodness you look fucking gorgeous.” Half of Donna’s body had popped out of the kitchen finally gaining a spare moment to greet you. Her words mumbled through the cigarette between her lips, a ladle held in her right hand while the left was occupied by tongs. Her apron covered in all sorts of sauces and whatever the hell else your brain couldn’t even begin to discern.

You laughed half in amusement and half in relief, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there as Carmy burned holes in your body. You waved at Donna quickly, beginning to head towards her to join her in the kitchen. It wasn’t your first choice as an escape from Carmen but you’d rather try and help Donna finish preparing Christmas dinner than be around Carmy for another minute.

Donna waved the tongs in Carmy’s direction, “Jesus fucking Christ Carmen, take the girls bag and coat. Don’t just fuckin stand there.” She huffed eyes glaring the longer Carmen stayed glued to the spot. You handed him your tote as soon as his arm shot out and began hastily shimmying out of your jacket. You gave him a soft smile before laying the jacket on his awaiting arm.

You began to leave the foyer as Donna motioned for you to follow her, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to walk into. A sudden thought occurred causing you to gently grip Carmy’s bicep as you were walking past him, “I uh, I actually bought you a Christmas present. So um, find me later yeah?” You smiled tilting your head slightly in questioning.

Carmen Berzatto graced you with a small smile, nodding back in agreement as you sent him one final nod and turned to enter the kitchen. The first positive emotion he granted you since you walked back into his life 30 minutes ago.

next chapter ↣

a/n: this is my first fic that i’m publishing and i genuinely have no clue what the fuck any of this is, : ) but nonetheless hope you all enjoy! or don’t i’m just a stranger on the internet. constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated though. please like, comment, reblog if this behemoth tickles your fancy!

also i write for fun/hobby and i'm such an inconsistent bitch so don't get your hopes too high, but this will potentially be a series idk yet though lol.

[stump-not-found]

A03 wrapped 2024

tagged by @tempusedax-rerum >:DDDDD

1.) Biggest surprise while writing this year?

how much people responded to bill cipher saying daddy . how people have interpreted ford's relationship to mabel in theseus' guide; i've really tried to write him as really caring for her so seeing that interpreted as him disliking her is so interesting haha

most of all tho i'm just surprised and very grateful that theseus has received any attention, it's been so so wonderful reading everyone's thoughts and seeing them engage with the fic . it really makes the entire process so gratifying, and i hope folks continue to enjoy where the story goes next :D

2.) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

i've got my erotic billford rom com Can of Snakes that's over 20k right now . it has banger titles such as "sad handjob" and "penicular sounding", so someday i'll be posting that . i think they can make it work

i also just started Weirdmageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo: Lost In New York, an AU where ford gets stan to help him finish the portal after kicking fidd's to the curb . stan and bill become besties, ford hates it, and bill isn't allowed to destroy new york until he tries a slice of 'za .

this is not accounting for the mountain of comic WIP's i have but that shit aint goin on ao3

3.) Favourite character to write this year?

ford for sure . you give me a character who's autistic in a way that isn't cute and it just means the world to me . i get to give him evil autism . the autism where we acknowledge growing up autistic is traumatizing and makes you not a nice person all the time . fuck i love him . i get to dump so much of my own shit on him its so funnnnnnn yay lalalala

there was a whole paragraph i wrote that was just describing the perfect eye angle to maintain when walking through a farmers market to avoid social scenario's, which i had to remove because it was just me rambling about my own social survival strategies . farmers markets are dangerous places

i also love writing him in the context of bill . what a fucking mess they are i hope they never get better . but together <3

4.) The character that gave you the most trouble this year?

honestly stanley pines . i feel like i soften him too much, and lean in to his more positive traits than his more negative ones . it's hard because i feel like folks don't talk about the fact he was homeless for like 10 years & also had a breaking bad style adventure in columbia

the other problem is that he IS a big softy so idk . but he should be bitchier god damn it . he should be talking about his cataracts

6.) Did you receive any gifts this year?

I DID YOU INSANE PEOPLE thank you all it make a me smile:

@stemmmm @ancharan @kronehaze @sillyhyperfixator @ezrathean0n

7.) Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i feel like all my writing is collaborative!! i spend hours talking fic stuff with my wife & brother and my stuff is all the better for it . would love to do more of that w/ other folks i love it talking and thinking and playing is so fun

8.) What do you listen to while writing?

i don't like listening to music when i write lol ...... i sit in the cold silence and type in a frantic spiral .

i listen to a lotta different things while i think of things to write tho . atm all i want in the world is to make a theseus animation to this song it's very hammercore :

9.) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oogh that's hard to choose . i'm just gonna share a bunch that make me laugh

from theseus' guide step six:

Dipper, clearly, doesn’t get it, and Ford acknowledges he is too young to understand a professional working relationship.

also from step six:

“Oh, sure, I can move on,” Stan grins, “To the other items on my list. A, the shack’s toilets all suck, and the seats keep raisin’ automatically. B, your handwriting sucks. C–”

from theseus' guide step three:

“You think you’re coming back anytime soon?” “No, 8-Ball, I don’t think I’m ‘ coming back ’ anytime soon.” Ford snides, though 8-Ball either doesn’t register that, or doesn’t care; hard to tell with the guy, “I’m sure you’re aware, but your boss wants to kill my family. And destroy my universe. ” 8-Ball sniffs. “Cool. Mind if I eat your leftovers then? Teeth keeps eyeing them.” Ford frowns, “You couldn’t have just brought them with you?” “Nah, man, I want to eat them.”

lots of lines from step eight but we ain't there yet

uuuuhhghhg who to send this chain mail along to uuuhgghgh

@beccadrawsstuff if u wannaaaa . anyone else feel free to pick this up as well i'm bad at this lol

[songmingisthighs]

Lonely Breeze

group : ateez

pairing : poly!yungi × reader

genre : angst, hurt/comfort

wc : 3.1 k

tw : angst, poly relationship, heavy stuff maybe; relationship issues, psychological issues, mentions of blood (injury), mentions of anxiety, ngl I'm just rambling at this point so if this is not your thing, pls skip lol.

a/n : this is why i don't listen to anything produced by mingi. I'm textbook kubler-ross every single time and idk how to feel about it. and yea i wrote this in 2 hours

buy me coffee ?

It had been three days since you ran away.

Can it be counted as running away? You're a full-grown adult with intact mental faculties and 'running away' sounds rather juvenile.

Life had gotten too hard and you were overwhelmed. Despite having wonderful boyfriends like Yunho and Mingi, this time you truly didn't know what to do but you knew that you had to get out of there before you completely exploded.

To be honest, Yunho and Mingi were one of the reasons you had to run away.

It was nothing against them per se but you felt bad for having to always rely on them all the time.

The three of you met on the cusp of adulthood, at a dance academy workshop. The three of you didn't mean to join that joint workshop because each of you was from different area branches of the academy but you all just clicked. From then, you and they planned your lives together even down to which university you three will attend. But it wasn't until nearing the senior year that you three decided to pursue a romantic relationship. You still remembered it like it was yesterday. How you, Mingi, and Yunho join your other friends on a countryside trip to celebrate the end of the 6th semester only to find out that the cabin was at maxed capacity so you three had to rent a small, dusty place on your own. Little did you know, you, Yunho and Mingi had each planned separately to come clean about your feelings. You were the first to confess after having a particularly tiring clean-up session (just so you won't inhale the dust that had accumulated in the cabin), accidentally telling them how you could see the three of you in your 30s cleaning the apartment you will share together. You remembered the dread that washed down on you when Mingi asked what you meant. Like the reliable pillar he is, Yunho was the one who helped you calm yourself down and told you that he could see the same thing, how he felt the same way about you and Mingi. Then Mingi confessed his own feelings and from then on, you three were even more inseparable than you had ever been before.

While it surprised people that the three of you decided to commit to a relationship that was far from orthodox, no one was really fazed. Everyone who knew the three of you had at least assumed you three were sleeping together which was why no one approached either one of you romantically all through university.

Some called it fate, some called it dedication.

You believed in the former more than the latter.

But recently?

You feared that you had trapped them.

Maybe it was a quarter-life crisis but you suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of your life. It wasn't like things were falling apart. On the contrary, the pieces of your life were finally falling into place; you were starting to really shine at work, and you were finally able to start saving whilst resolving some of your financial issues. Your relationship with your boyfriends was even at its peak, there was more love than the three of you ever needed and you three were beyond happy.

Then one day, one day a week ago, things crashed down on you.

You didn't know what it was, you didn't know what caused it, but you suddenly couldn't breathe. You remembered holding onto the bathroom sink while your body trembled, tears streaming down your face like a busted faucet and you couldn't move. The cool bathroom suddenly felt suffocating and the sound of your boyfriends laughing just on the other side of the door felt deafening. It took you a long while to break free from that state and you only managed to do so because Mingi had knocked on the bathroom door asking for you to let him in because he needed to use the bathroom. That night, you found yourself unable to sleep and even finding their presence too much for you to handle even after switching position with Mingi so you could be at the edge. You had slipped away and cried yourself to sleep on the couch, sobbing silently until fatigue took over.

That whole week you were distant until three days ago when you came home from work to see a note on the table from Yunho who let you know that they were out for a bit to get something special for you.

One second you were pouring yourself a glass of water to calm your trembling hands and the next, you were in a train with a duffle bag heading to the countryside, cradling your hand that had a gash and fresh dried blood.

When you arrived at the dark and lonely cabin, you finally broke down, wailing into the emptiness as you hugged yourself in the middle of the room.

Neither of them was aware of what happened.

Or so you thought.

The first person who noticed how distant you became was Yunho. He had sensed that something was wrong since that day in the bathroom. He could never forget the look on your face as you stepped out. Your usually lively eyes were empty and you didn't even react when Mingi pressed a kiss on your forehead. At first, he thought that you might have had a bad day and that you were just not in the mood but as the days passed, you seemed more silent and distant. Yunho wanted to ask what was wrong but he didn't want to make it seem like he was prying so he tried to let you know that he was there for you in different ways; soft touches, words of affirmation, little presents in the form of your favourite drink or plans of going on a trip. He wanted you to have all the space you needed.

Mingi on the other hand immediately jumped into worrying about you. Suddenly he kept texting about your whereabouts and your feelings. He had even asked if he should pick you up early from work and even showed that he was already in front of your building. Mingi knew what it felt like to be all alone stuck in a headspace and it had taken him so long and finally relent, letting you and Yunho pull him out and believing you two that you were there for him. So he wanted to repay all that especially since you were the one who gently washed his tear-stained face and slowly fed him until he regained his own strength. He remembered the pit and he didn't like the idea of you being there.

So when they were met with an empty apartment the day you left, they went into panic mode. The sight of a couple droplets of blood near the broken glass and your work bag thrown carelessly on the couch was enough to send them into a frenzy and sadly, they even turned on each other.

Yunho wanted to calm himself and Mingi down first because neither of them even knew what happened and where you had gone to while Mingi, pointing that out, stated that they both needed to catch you before you could even go far. Then they fought over the fact that they were fighting when they should be looking for you and it ended with Mingi leaving the apartment when Yunho ran into your shared room, trying to charge his phone to see if you had contacted either of them.

Essentially, the three of you were alone at that moment in time. Nothing made sense and none of you had any ways of getting an answer.

You were alone in the cabin, crying your eyes out about... Nothing. You felt stupid for feeling bad over your life that was going rather well and you felt bad for leaving your boyfriends without an explanation. It was simple, you could've simply grabbed the phone and texted either one of them to let them know... Something. You could tell them that you needed time alone. But do you really? You could tell them that you were sorry. But were you really? You could tell them that you were overwhelmed and that they were not making your situation any better by being so supportive. But were they really? You felt like you were not worthy to even send them a text because who the fuck were you to be acting like that and then asking for understanding?

Mingi was running around aimlessly with worry sitting deep in the pit of his stomach. He had gone to several of your friends' places, friends you trusted who wouldn't blab about your disappearance. He hated being in a state of not knowing because he felt helpless. He hated being helpless. Mingi was not a helpless person so he didn't want to be associated with the feeling. First things first, he had to find you. But where could you be? Why had he never taken the time to ask you places you wanted to go to, thinking that you had gone alone because he was too busy with himself. Seeds of doubt planted by the negativity of the situation started sprouting its ugliness. Was your leaving his fault? Was he too self-involved to not have taken the time to dedicate his attention to you once in a while? Was he taking too much of Yunho and your attention? His head hurts.

Yunho, in defeat, slumped against the bed you three shared. Your pillar, your rock finally broke down and with each sob, his mind found it even harder to make sense of things. All the decision in his life was made on a strong foundation, Yunho was a sure man, and he didn't regret the choices he made and the path he took. But was he too sure of himself this time? Out of the three of you, Yunho was always the tie-breaker because he makes his decisions carefully and with logic. He never found any reason to resent that part of him until you left. Did he miss something? Were there signs that you had needed a different kind of treatment? Had he gotten too overconfident this time? Had his so-called level-headedness cost him something important?

Whatever it was you hoped could happen or appear by running away alone never came. Each hour you spent trying to make sense of things or finding a way to calm yourself only made it clear that you were all alone.

Dark thoughts started plaguing your brain, skewing your happy memories into something that was far from reality. The memories you had of banding together into a trio with Yunho and Mingi turned into fear that maybe you had inserted yourself into their friendship. After all, they found themselves together first before you bumped into Yunho and told him how you were alone, effectively guilt-tripping him. The thought of how they have always had your back turned into anxiety that maybe you had leaned on them too much. You relied on them more than you should and now you were a burden to them. The things you told them, should you have told them? Especially the dark ones, the ones that stemmed from your bad mental state. Were you manipulating them without realizing it? Were your promises of the future even really promises? How could you be sure that it wasn't you pressuring your expectations to them?

It had been three days. Were you still alone because they thought you were better off alone? That they too, needed time away from you? Maybe you never needed your own space, maybe it was your subconscious telling you that you needed to give them space from you.

Loud bangs broke the train of thought and the more you came back to reality, the more you recognized the voices.

"Mingi?" you inhaled sharply, seeing the face of one of your lovers on the window as he banged the wall.

Thinking that you were hallucinating, you turned your head away and stood up. There was no way he could be there.

More bangs were heard and when you turned around again, you saw both Mingi who was now with Yunho staring at you from the window.

"(y/n), open up!" Yunho called out.

Normally, you would register his voice as is but your brain, in its unstable state, thought that he was demanding you to let him in. Mingi too, though he was only standing there looking at you, sending knocks on the window as he wanted to hold you once again, your brain took that as him glaring at you and being in fury.

Anxiety shot up and your head shook violently. "N-no..." you whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you took a step back only to trip on a carpet and fall.

The sight of you on the floor caused Mingi and Yunho to abandon all reasons and logic and all they wanted to do was to help you. They started banging and trying to pry the door open, needing to get inside to be there for you but all it did was send you into a deeper spiral without them realizing. Your body curled into a ball while they were yelling for you to open the door. The more you heard them, the worse you felt and before you knew it, you were yelling for them to leave you be, leave you alone, you didn't deserve them.

It wasn't until you started yelling at how you should have never burdened yourself on them that they stopped banging on the door. Their eyes welled with tears hearing the things, untrue things, you hurled at yourself. It hurt them to hear you think so low of yourself like that. You were everything to them, you were something so precious and special and to think that you believe they would be better without you, it was like a serrated knife had been plunged into their hearts multiple times.

"That's not true (y/n), please..." Mingi rested his forehead on the door as his eyes closed slowly, letting tears wet his cheeks, "Please let me in, I... We... (y/n), please," he whimpered.

Looking around, Yunho remembered that the owner of the cabin had told him about a spare key a long time ago. Thinking that it was worth a shot, Yunho was glad to see that there was still a key hidden under the cushion of the porch lounger.

You were too busy bawling to realize that Yunho had opened the door successfully which was a good thing because had you realized, you would have done something stupid like run out into the field in the cold January breeze.

Mingi tried to rush inside only for Yunho to stop him, holding onto his arm as he watched you cry with a broken heart.

"Yunho, wha-"

Wordlessly, Yunho pulled Mingi down to sit in the doorway while maintaining his gaze on you.

Though confused, Mingi followed along, sitting down and looking between Yunho and you.

"We should go in there. She needs us," Mingi said, voice cracking as he shook Yunho slightly, trying to convince him to go inside. He knew he could definitely go inside himself, but for some reason, he felt like he shouldn't.

For once, Yunho didn't give any explanation and just shook his head one more time. Soon, however, his hand took one of Mingi's and they sat there with you with hands linked, waiting for you to... Well, they weren't sure what they were waiting for but they were sure they would understand soon.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You must have passed out from crying because you remembered feeling cold and alone but the moment you came to again, you realized that this time, you were... Warm.

Sitting up, you noticed that the skies outside were dark and when you turned your body around, you saw Yunho and Mingi attending to the fireplace. The cabin was dark save for the illumination provided by the warm fire.

It took a bit of time for your eyes to adjust but when your eyes really focused, you noticed that Mingi was holding onto your favourite blanket that you forgot to bring. How did they even got inside?

For a moment, you only watched them do their thing, comfortably sitting in silence as if enjoying conversation done by the soft crackles of the fireplace.

Mingi felt something on the back of his neck and when he turned his body slightly, he saw that you were staring at him with puffy eyes. His instinct told him to run to you and envelop you in a hug and tell you how worried he was and how much he regretted things that he thought he did. But his better judgement stopped him from making a move forward. Instead, he cracked a gentle smile and ducked his head down, carefully opening your folded blanket as a silent invitation.

Your body moved automatically towards him and before you knew it, you were suddenly sat in between Mingi and Yunho.

While Mingi draped you with your blanket, Yunho made final adjustments on the firewood before he sat down close to you and even moved so that you and he were shoulder-to-shoulder.

You were sure that they were going to ask what happened, what was wrong with you, why you ran away. But minutes passed and all there was was... Silence. You were sure that when you saw them again you'd be anxious because you had to explain yourself but all you felt was a sense of calm. It was rather ridiculous but you could feel the anxiety melting off of your body.

"I'm tired," finally you opened up even though your voice cracked due to how hoarse your throat felt. "I'm so tired," you exhaled as you closed your eyes, your bottom lip trembling once again.

This time, Yunho moved to sidle even closer to you so he could guide your head gently to rest on his chest. "You... Can you find it in your heart... To rest in mine?" Yunho spoke up finally, voice cracking as well. Mingi then moved closer until he was able to wrap his hands around your waist whilst leaning his head on Yunho's strong shoulder, effectively caging you securely between them. "You can rest in our hearts, love," he added, ducking to press a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

Nothing else needed to be said because nothing else should. The three of you had been through so much together in your youth that it felt like you were all alone. But, with the stars as your witness and the fire as your companion, you realized something that was always true. Even lonely, you were always together and your inadequacies made you whole. While pain exists and will always find its way back to remind you of your faults, it allows you to remember who and what you are, but most importantly, what you now have from that.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[mommahughes19-23]

long distance - J.S

@swayman.mrs : my #1 reason to get on a last min flight @ 4 am

tagged : @jswayman1

location : swaytown

jdebrusk : finally youre back

jake30ottinger : too bad we crushed them , sorry u had to see that 🥶😬

jakub_lauko : we get it ur a WAG welcome to the club girlyy

hampuslindholm27 : oooooooooooooo are you here to stay ??

↪ swayman.mrs : no , sadly I am leaving again , dont fret ill be back my good sir

tfreddy42 : how do you consider jeans "comfortable" flight attire at 4 am?!?!

↪ swayman.mrs : bc unlike u I prefer to look presentable at any hour

↪ tfreddy42 : idk about that mrs covers face in every pic ever

↪ swayman.mrs : I WILL GET J ON YOU SO FAST

↪ jswayman1 : uhm lets be nice in the comments kids

matt.grzelcyk : those are my 2 best friends ever omgomgomg

lullmark : uncle and auntie sway gracing us

africkk : the wife section is so much more entertaining with your stories Maddie !

↪ jswayman1 : uhm... what stories???

jswayman1 : my #1 reason to cry mid game - thanks for surprising me baby girl! 💖💖💖

amandacorvenius : so nice to finally meet you , considering youre alllllllll Jeremy talks about!

moaullmark : finally the kids can stop asking when youre going to be in town! come visit us !!!!!!!! @swayman.mrs 😜😜😜❤️❤️

emmageekie : beautiful girl!!💝

ezzybow : 💖💖💖💖

miavoyatzis : still so happy to have met you! hope we see more of you!

spoonzz79 : 😘

morgangeekie : 🤯

A.N :

this probably sucks bc I only wrote this as a some what request. I typically dont have any positive feelings for the bruins unless it is Jeremy Swayman & Linus Ullmark sorry. I am not familiar with any bruins players so idk if this is how interactions would be but I hope its kinda ok .

I like this idea so I might use it for other players too

xoxoxoxoxoxo, M

tags : @quinnylouhughesx43 @noahkahansorangejuice @skylershines

[daycourtofficial]

I finished! Here's a quick recap from the beginning to the most recent chapter!

Chapter 1: 

Y/N has a great ass and an incredible rack (in Mor’s words)

Y/N moves in with Cas 

 Mor and Cas have an established hook up relationship

Rhys brought pizza and referred to Y/N as “great rack” due to Mor’s description of people

Cas(big peen) has a mysterious third nipple

Immediate interest in Azriel (can you blame her, look at him)

Chapter 2:

”idgaf Azzy is down baddy in this series it’s been 12 hours in and he is gone baby” straight from A/N

Y/N has a group chat w/ Feyre and Mor tilted Hi, Barbie

Batboys are Adnois’ who live next to each other

Cas may have let Y/N move in to get appreciation sex from Mor

Y/N deserves an award for unknowingly being a wingwoman for Car

Az drives the moving truck back since Y/N almost got into 3 accidents (same girl same)

Cas is a loud roommate, sings hella loud in the morning (its Cas what do we expect)(snores like a chainsaw)

Cas is crap at karaoke 

Az a flirt, has Y/N’s license, asks her to smile so that he can say “There’s those dimples”

Az has a motorcycle, works on it on the regular

Az does see the messages of the barbie groupchat asking how hot he is in comparison to Chris Evans and Aragorn from LOTR after they drop the truck off and are on the way back to the apartment in Y/N’s car

Chapter 3:

Cas is a personal trainer, wrote his schedule on the fridge so that Y/N knows when he’d be gone

Dad calls, that ish went to voicemail

Feyre’s at work can’t hangout

Mor has an internship

Plans for axe throwing the next day (pin a photo of Y/N’s dad to the target)

Done unpacking, Clean apartment (and Cas’ sheets), and Grocery run for favorite meal (pasta)

Accidentally spills wine on self due to loud ad, proceeds to cook in her underwar

The day sucked, no more hiding though

Super Trouper by ABBA starts playing as the door opens, Y/N doesnt hear it until Rhys pauses her music as shes in the kitchen in her underwear

Rhys, Az, and Y/N just stare at each in silence until the pasta timer goes off (Az 100% staring hard)

Y/n goes to find pants while the boys drain her pasta

Rhys jokes that Cas is lucky if he gets to come home to the little show Y/N put on

Y/N invites the boys to dinner and hang out since she doesn’t wanna be alone

”Two hot dates for the evening” -Rhys

All watch Forest Gump (Y/N never saw the movie and didn't even make it halfway through the movie)

Az glares at Cas when he comes home cause Y/N is knocked out on his lap (Az gives bomb af head messages)

Cas: *eyebrow wiggle*

Az: *scowl*

Chapter 4:

Cas’ knee flares up if he does too much (his room is also messy AF and he keeps pads)

Pain meds are not with him, so they have to be with Az

Rhys and Cas had a pissing contest on who had the bigger tv and drunkenly bought tvs

Az is jacked

Az looking at our social media page (for Cassian’s safety)

Chapter 5:

Axe throwing with Feyre and the Bat Boys

Feyre and Rhys exchanging deets

Cas catches on that Y/N has the hots for Az (she plays it off that its Rhys…girl idk who you think you’re fooling)

Mor calls and is pouting cause we didn’t invite her out

The crew has dinner with Mor to make it up to her (and that she’s paying)

Cas: “the world is ending, who’re you sleeping with to save it?” Y/N: “Feyre cause shes a gentle lover”

Az has cold hands (okay Edward)

Az: Computer Science Major; Rhys: Double Major with business and engineering; Y/N: Biology Major

Az likes coding+Y/N hates coding=study buddies

Az trying to find any chance to schedule hang outs with Y/N

Az and Y/N exchange numbers

Chapter 6

Cas got a tramp stamp (blue candy heart that says babygirl) when he was blackout drunk the night of the axe throwing (only Y/N was there; she immediately tells Rhys and Az the next morning after she sobers up)

Y/N might low key be a bit jealous of Nesta being close with Az

Chapter 7

Mor set Y/N up on a date (off screen) was bad

Kept thinking about Az and Nesta’s “date”

Literally asked Az about his date with Nesta 

Elevator gets stuck, mini panic attack, but Az calmed her down

Az tells Y/N to stop being a people pleaser and stand up for herself (but in a nicer way)

Gets lunch with Az (who was picking lunch up for Cas)

First motorcycle ride

Chapter 8

Sandwich lunch date with Az 

 Azriel asks Y/N if she would go riding with him again and she said yes

Rhy’s dad is kinda in the picture (pays their rent, gave Rhys a credit and debit card, signed off on the bike for Az, gives Rhys extra money for going to family functions)

Dropped off Cas’ lunch (he was adamant that no one forgot about karaoke night)

No one else dressed up for themed karaoke except for Y/N and Cas (no one told Y/N)

Uber is not big enough for everyone, Y/N ends up sitting on Az’s lap, legs across Rhy’s lap and feet in Cas’ hands

Az and Y/N communicate through the notes app on the ride to Rita’s

Az holding Y/N in place (Y/N blushing cause girl I get it me too)

Mor ends up telling Feyre, Rhys, and Az that they have to dress up next time since none of them told Y/N that she didn’t need too

The girls end up on stage singing with Cas

Chapter 9

Az was EYEING Y/N last night and had a GRIP on her on the way home (homegirl was fucked)

Cas comes in and eats in the bathroom while Y/N is in the shower since he doesnt like eating alone

Cas ends up taking Y/Ns phone and goes to read the text Az sent her (and if he’s lucky, see some classy nudes) and send him a message (and delete said message)

Girls Night plus Cas

Feyre and Mor bombard Y/N with questions as to what is going on with her and Az

Cas was a spy and texted Rhy updates throughout the night

Chapter 10

Az is laying on the couch in Y/N and Cas’ apartment with a blanket and his tiny bat

Az told Y/N about his injuries on his hands

Both share an earbud and listen to My Love Mine All Mine but Mitski

THEY FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH TOGETHER

Cas catches them asleep on the couch

Chapter 11 

Y/N has a wet dream about Az…while sleeping on top of him

Class starts in 20 minutes and homegirl almost falls face-first into Az’s crotch

She kisses him on the forehead on her way out to class

Y/N tweezes Cas’ eyebrows

Mor not understanding that Y/N and Az slept together not slept together

Mor sets Y/N up on another date, she tries to say no but says yes since Mor said if it was bad then she won’t set her up every again

Chapter 12 

Mor helps Y/N get ready for her date

Y/N’s dad calls again

Mor drives Y/N to the date site

Its Mini golf (homegirl is wearing a mini black dress)

Y/N looks for her date in the blue shirt and finds Az (no surprise) in a blue shirt playing skee ball *queue spider man meme*

Both are checking each other out shamelessly

Az teaches her how to hit a golf ball 

Az borrowed Cas’ truck 

They makeout in Cas’ truck

End up getting ready to finish the date at Y/N apartment with pizza and movies (she ain’t that kinda gorl) (We all say Thank You Morrigan)

Chapter 13

Cas goes grocery shopping at Az and Rhys’ apartment

Fell asleep watching the Jurassic Park movies (nothing happened)

Y/N gives Az a sticker of a goose with a knife

They study together at a coffee shop so that they are free for the lakehouse trip 

They both decide to hide whatever they have from everyone on the lakehouse trip

Chapter 14.1

Rhys is a speed demon (driving 30 miles over the limit)

Cas and Mor drove separate from the group (probably to fuck)

Feyres bag may have been defiled by Mor and Cas 

Az and Y/n resort to texting each other (straight teasing each other at this point)

Az’s hand is on her thigh

They make it to the lakehouse, no sign of Cas on his GPS

Y/N learns more and Rhys’ and Az’s background

Rhys is having Y/N’s baby

Met up with Cas and Mor at Mama’s

Waitress takes a liking to Azriel which Cas teases him about

Y/N teases Az about the whole experience through text on the drive to the lakehouse, Az is flustered and read in the face

Y/N asks (texts) Az if he wants a girlfriend and he says he has someone in mind

You are an angel, a godsend. I’m gonna give you a little forehead smooch

[puckpocketed]

tag game! pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people (if you can)

thank u for the boop @maxkeplers <3 i WILL be flexing my listening range and overdoing the assignment (song blurbs!!!). additionally, all songs link to youtube + collected playlist at the end if anyone would like to listen to them all in one place :3

P - Perfect Blue by Macross 82-99. I used to stream my art years ago and one of my viewers linked some Macross, and I’ve never looked back. this is one of my faves from their discography. I hope that guy is doing okay!!

U - Uh Huh by TrippyThaKid. hehehe weed song . i confess this one’s on my ranked valorant hype playlist for when i need to Lock In <- duelist main (derogatory). the music video by itself is such a wonderful experience but also his flow is bizarrely sick and compelling to me <3

C - Cold Turkey by The Happy Fits. Everyone moved on from 2010s british alt rock but i’m still there and so are THF. theyre still releasing this type of stuff in the year of our lord!! there’s whimsy to them… they have a whistle only section in this song… u will have to pry this music from my cold dead fins…!!!!!!

K - Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer. i love rom coms so bad, and every time i listen to this song i am filled with the sweetest nostalgia <3 if you haven’t seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. please. it’s a batshit film about two deeply damaged people trying to play relationship chicken whilst torturing each other in an effort to get the other person to leave them. they simply do NOT make films like this anymore !!!

P - Pressure by Abhi The Nomad. he’s an Indian hip hop artist, he raps and sings and has this habit of slotting these gorgeous little electric guitar solos into his songs. there’s a pop twist to his music, and he collabs far and wide. this song is slow and buttery smooth and such a pleasure to listen to.

O - Oh Yeah! by Green Day. they’re still making music and it still fucking slaps and i will nevaaa move past my based punk KINGS.

C - Chocolate by Day6. alright so has anyone ever run into that problem of finding a song from an artist/band and it vibes with you hard and brings you joy and you go to check out their other music and it turns out the song you liked was some experimental B-side track and none of their other stuff is like that. well. this was me with this song except this song was a thing they wrote for the OST of a kdrama. i wish i was joking. </3

K - Karma Bonfire by Diablo Swing Orchestra. ill be real. this is theatre kid music. but its somehow not attached to a musical. it’s also got jazz and swing elements. yeah idk either.

E - Escape by Asta. just one of my faves. nothing smart to say i just love this.

T - The Dreamer by The Vaccines. this is not the first song from this album i’ve recommended. this is my album of the year. it’s about remembering a relationship, the end of it, the never-end of it. my favourite lyrics in this song are from the chorus, “I know the night has got two faces, there’s one that runs and one that chases, but if I caught you in between, then I would wait for you in dreams.”

E - Eternal Groove by Android52. what it says on the tin. i could listen to this on loop for hours. i have done so!

D - Dark Matter by Steve Vai. to round out our instrumental theme… Can we have him on a Hades 2 music dlc. pleek. steve vai i love uou <3 he writes music i would blast if i was condemned to running solo tank on a raid you know what i mean??

Here’s the whole thing on youtube in a handy playlist as promised! it’s not very coherent in terms of genre or vibes at all so caveat emptor BIGLY

tagging: @oensible <- if u find a way to include weezer i would simply perish from laughter. @em-ptynet @sevennone @brocksfaber @chownkie @mkaugust @larsnicklas @wheelsnipecelebrini as always no pressure to play!! and if you see this and would like to join in, consider yourself tagged 🫵💯🔥🔥🔥

[sandwichfordinner]

First glance (Ithaqua oneshot) (platonic mostly)

The reason I did teen reader it’s because people told me that I should write only platonic for him but idk I feel like I wanna write romantic too but I am about to get cancelled 😍🔥🔥 I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and I was too lazy to edit it so I hope you enjoy it 😭

Also at the end can be a little romantic or just platonically idk

art by pipll15 on twitter

Outside was snowing so badly during this night. It hasn’t stopped for the past 4 hours but you didn’t mind it because you were inside the manor.

The air here wasn’t that warm but it was still nice, at least it wasn’t freezing like outside.

You were walking down the hall after you had dinner with the others, well your teammates from the ‘game’ so called you played with them. It’s not pleasing and not even fun at all.. Wonder how haven’t you died yet.

But now you didn’t want to have those gloomy thoughts in your head, so you continued walking. Honestly.. you didn’t want to go to your room. It was boring, but what can you even do after dinner at this weird looking place. Especially when it’s snowing A LOT. The only answer that you hate: Nothing.

Doing the same thing over and over is so stupid-

You stopped walking as you felt like your eyes saw something down in the garden. You tried to look more clearly through the big window.

It was.. a figure?? Wait isn’t this the new hunter that they announced??

The figure looked up and saw you.. (Eye contact…) You quickly hid under the window , holding your breath for no reason at all. Sweat started to form on your face. They looked, terrifying. Those blue glowing eyes staring back at you. It sent shivers down your spine when you remembered their look.

.

.

.

‘Waiting 2 more minutes’ you thought, I mean come on you were startled and couldn’t move .

❄️

❄️

You slowly got up from your old position and carefully took a peek to see if they were still there.

No? Where did they go?! OH NO THEY ARE PROBABLY GOING TO KILL ME. You stumbled and started walking faster, going back to the dining room.

Some people have left. Last time you were there which was like 10 minutes ago there was almost everyone. But now there are 7, which you still didn’t mind,, as long as someone is here you’re okay.

,,Oh hey Y/N! Do you need something?? Are you still hungry?’’ Luca smiled at you as he ate the last spoon of food, chucking it in his mouth.

,,Awslo whhats witwht the face-??’’

,,Luca don’t talk with your mouth full of food, you may choke..’’

Luca ignored Emily’s comment and continued eating, still looking at you waiting for an answer. That made you nervous, you weren’t really open here to the adults around you because some of them are mean for no reason, weird and creepy..

,,Come on kiddo, you look so worried, what’s the matter?’’ He gulped the food. He looked like he was in hurry..

,, Its uh,, I thought I saw something and I got scared and now I am here because i wanna eat a fruit.’’ You quickly said as you were shaking a little bit. Luca raised an eyebrow and stared at you confused but quickly shrugged it off.

,,Whatever you say.’’

You quickly took an apple from the table and left the room once again. Munching the fruit you thought about going to the library.

Your pov

The library that hunters and survivors shared…….

FUCK!! Wait what if they don’t know about the library?? Yeah! They probably don’t. I usually don’t read the books especially in this library, because there is just a bunch of old boring information. But still I wouldn’t mind reading one there.

As I opened the big library doors, I stopped walking. Yum the smell of old books filling the air 🤞

Looking around for something to read I stopped on the travel books. Not gonna lie I found these type of books interesting, exploring and learning facts about the world around you, too bad I can’t even see it here.

Focusing on the shelf of books I finally found the one to my liking.

‘A guide book to the 1915 Panama–California Exposition’.. Eh I guess that should do it. I tip toed to get the book since it was a little bit high, I successfully got it and made my way to the big sofas.

No one’s pov

Looking through the pages while walking there you looked up so you know where you’re going and… You suddenly made an eye contact with a black sclerae and dull blue pupils that were staring at your soul at the moment.

,,AH! You were that person or thing that I saw not so long ago! Uh,, please don’t kill me I would do anything I promi-‘’ a sigh was heard behind their mask making you more nervous that even made your words stuck in your throat. It was a guy.

He positioned himself in a more comfortable position, closing his eyes and relaxing his body. He looked like he didn’t want to talk at the moment.

,,I uh.. sorry for my scream I just got scared and uh.. yeah I will go sorry for disturbing you.’’ Your shaky voice could be the only thing heard in the library.

You started walking quickly to the exit but you stopped when he spoke..

,,Wait…’’ stopping your tracks you looked behind you.

,,I… do not mind you staying..’’ his thick British accent was heard behind his mask.

You didn’t really know what to do now. He sounded shy but looked like he needed company. So.. why not then.. even if he scared the absolute shit out of you two times now. I guess he is trying to be kind.

,,Really??’’ You earned only a nod in response.

,,Alright then..’’ Sitting to the next sofa you opened your book to read from it a little. You positioned yourself and started flipping the pages.

,,Where are you coming from?’’ You broke the awkward silence while you were still scanning the old pages.

,,I… uh.. . . . I don’t want to talk about it right now..’’

You stopped reading and looked up and saw him fidgeting with his hands. He’s nervous.

,,Ah.. I am sorry for asking.. well then what is your name..?’’

,,Ithaqua..’’

,,Oh that’s a nice name, never heard of it but its pretty nice’’

,,Thank you’’

,,What about you..?’’

,,Oh my name is Y/N’’

,,You have a pretty name..’’

,,Thank you :)’’ This can’t get any awkward.

. . .

Oh not the social type.. not like I am really too…

He still looked really nervous, you don’t really know what to do.

,,Hey.. are you nervous? Is something bothering you? You can sleep here if you want I can bring you some blankets and-‘’

,,No I am fine..’’

,,Oh well then.. okay. Are you still sure? I could even make you something to drink like hot cocoa.’’

Now he stopped what he was doing and thought for a little.

,,Yes please, can I?’’

,,Of course. I will be back soon you just wait here.’’

‘He seems nice’

❄️❄️❄️

Getting back with two hot cocoas in your hands you handed him the drink and he took the cup with his cold hands. He quickly muttered a ‘thank you’. He removed a little his mask and drank from it. Only his mouth could be seen nothing else. A satisfied sigh left his lips after he drank the hot sweet liquid, and thanked you again but this time you could hear him clear.

You smiled in response and sat on the sofa once again as you drank your hot drink.

. . . .

,,This is the third time saying that but.. I have to thank you again.. but this time for the nice welcome.. I appreciate it..’’ You could see his little smile under the mask that was covering almost his whole face.

,,Hey it’s no problem, If you need someone to talk to you can always chat with me ’’

His pale cheeks reddened a bit which he quickly pulled his mask to cover his face now. Behind it he smiled, which you indeed did a great job getting rid of his anxiety.

,,Can we see each other more often here.?’’

[gretchensinister]

Babylon 5 rewatch, S1 E4: Infection

Oh 2 years of functionality (how fast did they build these Babylon stations? Were they all being build simultaneously?)

This guy talking to Franklin has the vibe of being in a completely different genre than everyone else

Oooh look at the very aesthetic beakers in the background in MedLab

Vorlon living ships mentioned!!!! (cat chattering sound)

Okay aside from the guy getting electrocuted, I'm now thinking about how the main hospital(?) is also being used as a research lab. I guess it makes sense, with Babylon 5's function it wouldn't have a separate research lab

Babylon 5 does have a big enough population to have a university, though, that would be cool

Very much a TV thing that 15 hours seems like a long time to find nothing when examining an alien artifact. There's very human artifacts that people have studied for years without coming to any definitive conclusions

...and none of those artifacts will merge with your body to make you into an alien cyborg weapon

Such a HUGELY alarming statement "I think it tried to assimilate Nelson" like that's a thing that happens

Yes, plot and peril--but I'm thinking now, was Garibaldi's "eh, fuck it" moment with the possible aphrodisiac/floor wax at the beginning supposed to be seen as a parallel with the ill-advised messing around/merging with the alien artifacts? It would be if *I* wrote it

I'm always down for the idea of purity turning out to be extremely bad

I have to like meditate away my issues with getting coherent information from a 1000 year old alien artifact that uses a dead alien language.

Nelson speaks English, so Tular is able to use Nelson's understanding for this conversation--IDK I'm desperately spitballing here.

This has a very Kirk-talking-the-enemy-to-death vibe. Also it's like I definitely get the point of the plot but I'm getting endlessly stuck on the translation issues. I've seen Arrival in the past 30 years I can't help it.

Nelson fucking LIVED through that?

Reminds me of Corporation Rim plots in the Murderbot Diaries world

Worth dying for/Worth living for theme spotted! This Will Continue

Do you ever just wish so fervently that a piece of science fiction had become irrelevant because human society had actually sorted its shit out...

[peachywritesstuff]

Imma say my thoughts/opinions on the situation and then imma bounce off of tumblr for a hot minute.

First thing I would like to say is that I am staying NEUTRAL. GRAY.SWITZERLAND. IN.THE.MIDDLE. and my thoughts will explain WHY I am remaing neutral. I am not someone who is faking just so I can secretly defend Percy.THAT IS NOT THE CASE!!!

#1. The slur

It's pretty obvious that he said it's clear as a blue sky. I frankly don't know the c-word or know what it means but I have learned that is somthing revolving around Canada and how it's very normalized to say which is sad.

#2. The r- /sa allegations

I am going to try my best to be sensitive as possible with my words with this part.This is where I am very lost. 1. I saw someone say (dont remember who) that dates don't matter when they come to victims coming out with sa or r- but they do. Especially if its a celebrity. This isn't just regular twitter drama this is something very serious that has a lot of 'evidence' (I will explain why I put that in air quotes) And at this rate authorites have(or will) already gotten involved and if this goes into to court they will ask for dates this occurred and if they can't be properly backed up that lead to something else like defamation. No amount of times I re-read all the tweets with all the pictures and text messages will make me feel any less lost. Yes everything is there and it makes Percy look like a very bad person but at the same time....it's all so blended together?? Idk how to explain it. Some of the text messages that i have seen is to fumbled and mushed together like I'm lost with all the ages this happened and apparently Canada has the 5 year law relating to minors???

#3. The nudes

Some of them honestly look like he took them when he himself was a minor which kinda sucks for everybody else who had been spreading his nudes (actual nudes) everywhere on Twitter. Still doesn't make it ok for him to send them to minors ( allegedly)it ALSO doesnt make it ok to release his all over the internet. Because that looks bad for the people spreading them becuase 1. Someone from Percy's team is watching. Do yall not think they are ignoring this? With so much out already I highly doubt they are. They will find people spreading his nudes around just because no words have been spoken to us doesn't mean nothing is happening. And if I wanna butt in this part the ones with him on the toilet and bed honestly look like some teenage boy doing something stupid. However we don't know the context behind those nudes just one where he took a shit at his new apartment (which that one really looks like he was being really stupid but who uses the bathroom naked?????)

#4. Him staying silent is guilt.

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. He isn't saying anything until he has a lawyer and his team can make up a proper statement. That situation is out of his hands now he no longer has control over his social media.

#5. The 'Evidence'

I will explain why i put evidence in quotations. Half of the evidence is coming from anonymous,and faceless accounts which will be useless in court becuase they cannot verify if they already have them printed out they cannot know who wrote those allegations. If they find the person who wrote those allegations this is a chance they dont want to testify and if those people are real or not. Being a faceless account in a situation like this is kind of iffy but I can get why you don't want people to know you said that stuff. The evidence keeps changing every hour and one minute is this but then actually it's this or wait it's that.

I am trying to think from the pov of the victims and I would honestly be terrified of thousands of people coming at me asking all types of questions but everything is all over the place. The right thing for the victims to do is to step away from social media, sit down and organize everything and make sure everything they have can fall back on something. What is on Twitter is just..... evidence thrown up together.

#6.the vicims

I have been looking on Twitter and learned the victims are acting....odd? Not all of them. One of them made a tiktok about how they canceled a Netflix star in 9 days into 2023 and another one commented "yeah we did that". Idk about yall but that's weird. Sounds like their flexing??? You don't flex about a rapist. Especially with what they did to you.

Next, one of them threaten another person saying she will find where she live and for her saftey she better leave her alone. But then she tweets how she was going to (legally) do it but they messages she sent to the girl was coming off very threatening. She wasn't threatening to kill idk why people are thinking that but she was threatening the girl and she was obviously going to do something. She claims the person was spaming her but the person supposedly spaming her said she was just saying Percy was innocent. Idk if she said that in one text or multiple. I get how she was angry I really do but the way she pharsed it only made herself look more bad.

Third, the same girl(victim) from the pervious paragraph has tweeted in the past about Wednesday and has talked about it not about Percy,but about Wednesday and her mothers relationship. What confuses me is that he has (allegedly) r-/sa this girl but she proceeds to watch the show he has a decent amount of scenes in? Then, according to one of the tweets,20h before the allegations rose she was tweeting about how she gets told she looks like a lot like Wednesday. Idk could be a coincidence, could not be. WE DO NOT KNOW.

#7. Time

It has not been a fully 47 hours since this stuff came out. People are automatically expecting a response from Percy is beyond delusional. I think we all woke up to this so and had a chaotic morning (ik I did) he can not defend himself yet because of his legal team possibly taking over his socials. It will be awhile until we hear something which is why the good half of people are waiting for his side to come out before deciding futher of their place on the situation. I know everybody is waiting impatiently but it's gonna be a while.

#8. Throwing the r word around.

I don't like how everyone is throwing that word around. Calling people who try to remain neutral apologist r- and saying that to basically anyone who wants to think logically. First off nothing has been proved he done anything. Don't be fooled I am equally as disgusted as you are but this is all coming from Twitter. Yes the victims had no where else to go because they went to the police and they did nothing but this is all coming from twitter. No spare videos of anything but him saying the slur,just screenshots and words. We don't even know if the evidence can be used in court guys.

I'm trying to be logical about the whole thing,and I am pointing out stuff that has stook out to me. After this I am keeping my mouth shut and watching from the sidelines.

There is so much more I want to say but it's almost 1am where I am at and I'm tired. If the allegations are true my heart goes out to the victims. If it's not,then even more hell is gonna break loose. Until we can see Percy's side there is nothing else we can do but wait. I am just so sad about this whole thing and wish that everything isn't true but it's really not looking good for him. Only time will tell with this. I hope my way of saying things did not offend any of you and if they did I am truly sorry. I'm taking a risk and leaving my messages opened but please tell me your opinions kindly. I have told mine with minimal to no violence I would like to have the same option when expressing yalls with me.

The last thing I will say is that Twitter is a mess. Idk what to believe anymore. Stuff keeps changing and it gets more confusing. This all just needs to be settled outside of Twitter. I'm sad the victims had to resort to this route but everything is a mess and it's too confusing and I won't believe or side with anyone until an official statement is out. Not something from Twitter.

Hope yall have a good day or night guys :) make sure yall eat well and drank some water. To my followers, idk if I will be back to posting maybe I will maybe I won't ,Xavier Thorpe was quite the reason I started back writing and with him gone all of that motivation is just gone now. I'm sorry to yall becuas I feel like I disappointed yall cuz all fo you were looking forward to my stuff but until futher notice, I will be off of Twitter,and semi off of Tumblr.

Peaches Out ✌🏽❤️

[nereidprinc3ss]

I'm literally going insane I had a whole conversation with another spencer account on twitter about dybmn it was such a good experience

and part 7 was out for 8 HOURS I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT IR COMING OUT I FOUND OUT FROM A FUCKING TWEET ABOUT THIS GYAL GOING ON A DATE AT THE SAME TIME DYBMN CAMEOUT OH MY GODDDDDD like you don't understand how good of timing you released this at

1. freshly shaved just out of the shower cause im going fully blonde tomorrow

2. tucked comfortably in my sheets

3. Its gently raining outside

4. I go on twitter and find out my favorite writer released PART 7

Dude I'm not even joking when I say I screamed like I've been talking to my sister about this series for a week now and part 7 being edged and she was like why are you screaming did it come out yet

IR DIDNT DISAPPOINT AT ALL EITHER OMGGG YOU WRITE SPENCER SO BEAUTIFULLY AND SO TRUE TO HIS CHARACTER HES SO GENTLE AND SOFT AND PERFECT AND KIND AND I LOOVVEEE HIM! Like wtf do u mean he bit my shoulder to ground himself after he came that's literally the cutest thing fucking ever what the fucking hell oh my fucking god i fucking love him I think we need to put spencer Reid in my bed right now I think we need to tuck him into my sheets and lock the door what the hell

I'm going to shut up now because if I continue ill be babbling about each individual thing I love about how you write him and what he says like when he says angel girl JJFJDJSOSKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKK LORD HAVE MERCYYYYYYYY its 1:32 i have a hair appointment tomorrow i can't be screaming like this

In other words I love you so so much please never die I love ur works your so cool to me and U r literally my favorite writer ever. Thank you so much for blessing us with the dybmn series & i will never stop thinking about it i literally have dreams about it everytime i read/reread a part of the series that's partly why im so excited to sleep right now lolololo ily thank u for listening to me ramble with no shame

im so jealous that you have dybmn dreams😭😭😭😭😭 idk if i’ve EVER had a spencer reid dream but i did dream once that rossi made me a sandwich LMFAO anyway….

me and u have like the same favorite parts cause when EYE wrote the angel girl part i was literally biting my fist and screaming i need that so bad

and babe if i figure out a way to get spencer reid in my bed i will quickly send him to yours as well!!!!! i would tuck him in so good i would make him sleepy time tea 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏 NEED THAT

thank you so much for reading and sending me this ily and i hope your hair turned out well beautiful!!! mwah

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary436

12/3-4/24

tuesday - wednesday

writing this as my gf prepares for work.

another short one today. i did some more drawing which was nice, i think i basically just need the hands to be done, and then it'll be over... then i can go onto another attempt at getting better at all this, which is exciting for me.

i watched 2 movies today, one was occult, which was by koji shiraishi, who directed noroi as well. i wanted to see some j-horror stuff because i've been so into siren lately. here's a couple shots of funny things i saw in it:

i like how this was filmed at the time when there was a big ad for ugly betty up in shibuya. i've seen that before on some images i found on flickr which feels really funny, to see that and be like, oh wow, it's from then!!

equally entertaining is that psp monster hunter ad.

there were some shots that were actually really nice, the whole ending bit is also insane, maybe i could have grabbed those but these are funny to me in i guess a very narrow way.

i quite liked the film itself, it's not so scary really, but at a certain point you get a sinking feeling, and it feels so sudden, a couple times you feel very bad, you see people broken up over things, the film generally feels focused on a particular kind of poverty in japan and what happens to the people who live on the outside of the norm out there, who are headed towards homelessness and are unstable, it's a movie that wishes for kindness for people like that, as well as taking the cult-terrorist fears of the general public and using this man to examine that/prod at why people end up there. like noroi though, the text isn't so interesting as is its uncanny atmosphere, the way the world is rendered through the camera and all the 'supernatural' sightings of leeches flying through the sky. i really like that stuff, i like how cheap and strange it looks, it makes it more carnivalesque which ultimately extends / articulates the film's goals a little better, a miserable laugh at the end of poverty, a mania of a certain kind and a curiosity driven to standing on the side of grave injury, getting swept up in a strange brotherhood with a strange man.

that's one thing i thought about, eno, when he and shiraishi drop the formalities, and they bond in that way, and around when that happens eno becoming extremely agitated towards the only woman at the dinner table with them, and how she dies at the end. i keep thinking about that, and what i wrote about yesterday a bit, more that it's interesting that the film makes a point of this man being oddly misogynistic and pathetic, like he wants her but doesn't know how to be charming or nice even so he goes to attack her. excluded from being normal himself, he attacks her for being 'weird' and quiet, this makes me think of nekojiru's work, where she'd go to lengths to express how outsiders aren't somehow some kind of cure or solely good force in relation to the broader scope of society, rather they absorb all the same neuroses and use them maybe moreso to protect themselves, to never be in the wrong despite generally being seen as such (all of those judgments though, take place in a subconscious way).

anyhow, i quite liked that film.

the other film i watched i didn't like so much, videophobia, i picked it because it also seemed j-horror-y and it sorta was, it was also a movie that i picked because it seemed intensely related to what i was writing about last night here, it's about a woman who discovers revenge porn of herself on xvideos and then, as time goes on, loses it bit by bit and gets plastic surgery to become a new person so she doesn't have to live with the fear of being found out. it's an effort to meditate on how we have this massive industry and, i don't know if this is true, but in the film a woman says that global usage of 'that site' which one she means idk (i would imagine this is the figure of the one big one (if it's a real figure at all)), sits at around something like 5 million hours yearly or something? maybe a jump up to billion? i don't know. but something obscene like that. that was the best part of the film, when the woman says that to her, just this kind of cosmic terror at a figure that great, that it measures to an impossible amount of years, that it feels hopeless in the face of that basically. but idk, the rest of the film is just kind of flat. i dunno. i can't get as excited about the rest of it as i can about that little bit lodged in it. the film at points doesn't come off as leering or creepy or whatever, it just feels odd in how it handles her suffering. i don't know, i just don't know. and the music felt so wrong at points. but it felt interesting too, to see that idea meditated on, this woman really was sacrificed to this managed desire.

but now it's almost 7 am, i am super duper tired,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ganjies]

Aahh okayokayy!! My request is a lil odd so bare w meeee-

Please may I request a Tsukasa with Terrible Mental Health/Depressed Tsukasa? Idk if you do angsty stuffs but it’s always Y/n who’s depressed and i’m a sucker for role swaps yk? Ofc if you’re sensitive to MH that’s fine, you dont have to do this! Please don’t stress yourself and have a good day <33

Keep hydrated <33 luv ya 💖💖

ok so i never wrote these kind of stuff but we r here to learn right ? Though i got a super idea for this , but i think it will contain some spoilers here and there

! WARNINGS ! : SPOILERS , angst no fluff , depression , SH !! , changed AU , ALIVE Tsukasa ( past story ) , killing , abuse , bad things , OOC Tsukasa

and i guess , i'll just miss him ...

People were always scared of Tsukasa Yugi , at school , in the streets , even at home his family was terrified , but nobody never said anything. They always looked down at him , got away from him , why couldn't he just disappear !? Everyone was scared of you too , why were you even with a devil like him ... this was a question that passed through everyone's minds , even yours. Somehow you were enchanted by him , nobody knowed him like you did , he told you anything that passed his mind everytime. They always pitied his twin brother Amane , of course you did too , Amane didn't deserved this , but neither did Tsukasa ; he really did loved his dear brother , you swear.

You hated the twins house , when it wasn't quite like a cemetery , there screams of agony , something that nobody wants to hear , something you were used to hear unfortunately.

Tsukasa had again abused his brother , you didn't know if ut was with a knife or with his bare hands , you didn't want to know. Amane bandages were off again , blood-soaked , he had really big dark circles under his eyes , his voice gone ; it was normal for you to take care of him and his brother , to make sure that nothing extreme could happen.

After taking care of him you left him alone in his room and went to Tsukasa , he was in the kitchen , sitying on the ground with hands colored in red , the color of the blood both his and of his brother. Calmly you approached him and sitted on the ground with him , without saying any words , you didn't have to , you can easily read Tsukasa trough his actions mostly. His face had a blank expression on it ; everyone thinks he enjoys hurting his brother but its not like that at all. You took his hands into yours and helped him to get up , getting him to the sink ; you started to wash his hands and arms. Under the blood there were many cuts of different sizes , some seemed new , others were a little bit old " it hurts " Tsukasa complained looking down " i know dear. Did you self harm again Tsukasa ? " you said nicely ... you always asked nicely , but you wanted to cry and scream for him to stop all of this , this wasn't the Tsukasa you fell in love with , you don't know what happened to him , when he had disappeared for 6 month , just to come back randomly like nothing happened , but obviously something had happened " It wasn't me , i told you [ name ] , he .. did this "

You stomped irritaded " who is " he " Tsukasa !? No one gets close to you at school , so its not some bullies , Amane could never do this to you , so why do you persist with " he " , who is " he " !? " oh no , you screamed at him for the first time ; he broke down in tears , smiling , he continued to talk but you couldn't hear anything , you hugged him closely.

That night , after 2 hours of bandaging him up , you were on the porch of their house , ready to go " don't touch the bandages and if something happens call me right away , okay ? " he nodded ; before going on your way you hugged him a last time , he returned it " i love you [ name ] , do you know that ? " he asked " mhm .. ! ". While you were walking , he looked at you like you would be the last beautiful thing he would see ; he was right though , he closed the door and silence fell on the house.

Amane Yugi , Tsukasa Yugi , their mother and father , were found all dead. Tsukasa Yugi was stabbed by his twin , Amane Yugi was found dead at the school , for suicide , their parents were found dead too in their house , people don't know if it was for suicide or other reasons. [ Name ] [ Surname ] was the only person attached to one of the twins , its still unknown if the person in question does know something about the tragic deaths , some sorts of secret , The mystery that surrounds the story of the " Red House ". After 50 years all if this is still unknown by everyone.

I really hope this is good , i had fun writing this !!