#i wrote this in like 2 hours idk if its bad

[bedforddanes75]

smh back related Filth here...

this isnt good enough for me to post on ao3 have it here instead. 18+ and stuff. ok anyway dont tell me if this sucks just leave and dont ever speak again

back fic? george doesnt wanna think and matty likes georges back. no im not projecting what do you mean. warning (technically) Unfinished and bad and idk man just read and again if u dislike (and i find out about it) then DIE im comign to get you. listne to pink floyd and chiiiillll the fuck out IM SO STRESSED i hate posting so much i cant stop speaking im trying to soften the blow (no blowjobs happen) but like i dont know Girl someone get me a gun I REALLY WANT A GUN oh my god OKok ko koko kok ok kok ok ok ok ok juts GO there its'heere

He gets George laid on his front, face pressed right into the pillows and chest fighting to expand under his weight. George keeps making these quiet, almost pathetic noises, whimper-esque, and delicate, and Matty can tell he’s fighting not to grind into the mattress.

“You can make yourself feel good, darling. Go on.”

George responds immediately with the shaky movement of his hips, and a relieved moan, goosebumps rising.

There’s nothing between them now, George already stretched out and far gone, his only thoughts being of Matty and Matty and Matty and Matty. Who is Matty to deny him that pleasure? He’s in awe at how someone can be so beautiful, staring at George’s back like it’s the sun, and it might as well be, because he’s radiating heat like a fire, so desperate to be touched and to feel good that the only outlet is there. George moves his hips slowly at first, and he’s so overwhelmed he thinks he might come just from that, the friction from the sheets more than enough for him.

But he wants Matty.

Matty runs a cold finger down the length of his spine, reverent and appreciative, and George shivers, the motion pulling another quiet noise from him. It’s silent, bar their breathing, and the rustling of sheets, but Matty’s heart is beating so fast that he doesn’t even notice. George isn’t trying to speak, not trying to beg for anything, because he knows if he tries, all that’ll come out is something garbled and stupid, but he doesn’t care, because Matty isn’t making him do any of that today, he just touches and pleases and makes him feel like he’s in heaven.

It isn’t long before Matty’s leaning down over him, letting himself press against George from behind, and whispering things down his neck.

“You want me to make you come? Want me to fuck you, darling?” And George might just cry. He does want it, but he just cannot form the words. Matty doesn’t make him, but when he doesn’t make any move to get off and start properly touching George, George knows that he won’t do anything until he does. He usually forces George to speak when they do it like this, makes him blush and whine and George lets him and loves it, but this time, he’s letting George do things in his own time, pressure all gone, (except in his groin.)

He’s got his hands on George’s waist, now leaning back just to admire him, and George can’t wait any longer. He tries to speak, just the word please, but it doesn’t come out right, and he’s just so desperate that he can’t think to correct himself.

“Just let me look at you a bit, you’re so gorgeous.” Matty doesn’t sound like he’s aware of the fact he exists anymore, so wrapped up in how beautiful George is that time and space no longer accept him as a being, he is simply a conscience left to its own devices, floating around and latching onto this angelic figure beneath where he should be. “Pretty,” he breathes, “So pretty,” again. He’s still drawing lines on George with his nails, like he’s tracing the muscles and all the marks made over the years.

George tries to keep his breathing steady, content with where he is but simultaneously needing more like he needs air, like it’s his only source of life, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t mind, really, he’s just happy to be touched, because every contact with Matty feels better than anything he’s ever taken, and he can’t imagine feeling any better than this. There’s static in his head, only just about covering the words he needs to make Matty do anything, and he wishes it wasn’t there, but he loves it so, so much.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Matty whispers eventually, after years and seconds and days and hours and George can’t reply. He wants it more than anything, but he’s so focussed on trying to figure out how to express that, that he can’t do it. A nod is all he can muster up, but he knows that Matty won’t let him just do that, he needs words, proper, full words. Then, there it is, “I need you to tell me, sweet. Words.”

He’s moved further down George’s body by now, and George didn’t even realise it was happening, but he’s pressing kisses to the dimples at the base of George’s spine, so he can’t complain. Not one bit.

Then, he moves drastically lower, kisses the very top of the line between his legs, just where the fat of his [ass] starts to rise, where his thighs turn from muscle to something soft, and he just leaves his face there for a while. He’s got his chin pressed into the middle of George’s thighs, and his hands still all over his back. That makes him speak.

“Please,” he manages, and Matty seems shocked at it.

“‘Please’ what? Need you to use words.”

George can’t, and he almost feels like crying, so desperate it’s making him shake, but he tries again.

All he can do is say, “You,” like a prayer, again, again, and Matty breathes something shaky in return. But he still doesn’t make any effort to move, just strokes the back of one of George’s arms. “Please, Matty.” It feels like they’re the only words he knows, now, really.

“Just need you to tell me what you want. I’ll do it, just tell me.”

Matty was always careful not to push boundaries and to be extra nice when George got like this, he wouldn’t push anyway, but he treats George like an ornament when he’s like this. George loves it. He likes being told he’s beautiful and being allowed to not think and just feel and feel and feel. It’s nice. It’s the best.

“You. Matty. Please.” Maybe they are the only words he knows, and he doesn’t care – they’re the only words that are important.

If Matty couldn’t understand it from that, he doesn’t know what he could’ve, but, that’s a useless thought, because he’s nodding against George, whispering “Okay.”

“Tell me if you want me to do anything else. Anything you want, sweet. Do anything. Squeeze my hand if you want me to stop.”

George nods.

He has to wait a while, Matty making sure he won't hurt George if he goes too fast, slicking himself up, but then Matty pushes into him gently, gripping George’s hand tightly to keep himself under control, and all of a sudden, it’s all worth it. He’s glad Matty doesn’t have a clear view of his face, then, because he’s bright red, sweating, and he just knows he looks an absolute state. But none of that matters at the moment, because Matty is inside him, and still, and he feels so good, so good, so, so, so, so, so good.

If he thought he couldn’t speak before, that was nothing. He can’t even see, completely taken by the feeling of Matty inside him and touching his back and touching his hair and touching him and touching. Matty is the embodiment of pleasure.

“Feels so good, darling,” Matty breathes, and he must’ve leant down, because George can feel his breath on the back of his neck. He blushes at the praise.

He can’t breathe properly with the pillows covering his face, but he doesn’t have the energy to move, and even the littlest of movements make him completely lose coherency, because Matty’s pressed right up against that spot, and he can’t take it.

Matty thrusts after a while, holding George’s hand and making sure he’s okay every few seconds, but when he does, George sees stars. He’s clearly holding back, because he keeps twitching inside George, and George only wishes he could speak more so he could tell Matty to do what he needs, to take as much as he wants, but, alas, he can’t, and he just settles on letting Matty do what he’s doing now.

The feel of Matty inside him is something he‘ll never get used to, it’s all consuming, feels like he’s turning into a star and becoming something otherworldly and living and dying all at the same time. He can’t word how amazing it is, like knowing he’s safe and letting Matty do whatever he needs, because he knows it’ll be good, and he trusts him.

He, eventually, does start to move properly, but only after multiple weak noises from George, desperate and pleading for anything. Matty grabs his hips, suddenly energised and no longer having the patience to be as gentle as he was, and George loves it. He’ll take whatever Matty gives with an open mouth and a chest left wide open, ribs all snapped to get inside, and this is like a knife made of solid pleasure, because there’s that tiny bit of pain, but it’s covered up by the heat that rushes all down his limbs, right down to his fingers, every single time Matty hits that spot inside him, and then everything is all okay.

Soon enough, Matty’s got his nails in the soft, weak skin of the space just below George’s v-line, digging into the flesh and wanting to claw him apart simply because it’s the only possible way to express how intense everything he’s feeling is. George lets the pain bloom and he whimpers into the bed.

“You okay?” Matty asks, and he nods, enthusiastic and truthful and just wanting more.

That’s all he needs, and he seems to lose some amount of his self control, because he starts fucking into George harder, one hand going back to his waist to keep steady, and the other going to his hair. He doesn’t pull just yet, but George wouldn’t complain if he did, taken by the pleasure. Matty’s nails are pressing slightly, and he welcomes the sting.

The sweet, soft, gentle Matty is almost fully gone now, and he’s changed back into something like what he usually is in just a few minutes, and it’s making George sick with want. He’s tightening his grip on George’s hair more and more by the minute, and by now, it’s starting to sting.

George doesn’t think anything’s going to change after that, just thinks Matty’s going to make him come like this, and he has no reason to think anything else. That is, until Matty yanks George’s head towards himself by the hair, and George can’t help the moan he lets out. It’s loud and undignified, but Matty likes it all the same, apparently, because he holds tighter, and keeps his head there for a second. George thinks he might come just from that, the feel of Matty in his hair, tugging.

Heat ripples from his scalp, and it’s not helped by Matty starting to speak. “Fucking back, so beautiful. Perfect. It’s so pretty, fuck.” He keeps speaking until he finally unthreads his fingers from George’s hair, but George can still feel the ghost of his palm. He fixes his grip properly onto his hips and waist instead.

He’s definitely digging his nails into that pale flesh, and it wouldn’t shock George if, when he moves, there’s skin left beneath them. He’s being gentler than normal, which George is grateful for, because he knows that if Matty did anything that was any more intense than pulling his hair, he’d be coming within a minute of him sinking inside.

He can feel heat building in his stomach, and, all of a sudden, he’s overly aware of the sheets rubbing against himself, hard against them, and he whimpers, eyes squeezing. Matty’s starting to stroke his hair, and ramble.

“You feel so fucking good, Jesus Christ. Fuck, George.” He’s digging his thumb into a space near one of the dimples on George’s back now, almost like he wants it to bruise so he’s got proof of it, like the proof isn’t George’s very existence.

George gets closer a lot sooner than he’d like to, but he just can’t help it, because Matty is telling him how good he feels and how well he’s doing over and over again, and there’s so much happening, like the feel of Matty hitting just where he needs every time and the feel of himself against fabric and the image of what he must look like in his head. It’s all too much. Almost.

He doesn’t realise he’s crying until Matty slows down, taps him, asks if he’s okay, and he just nods, nods like it’s keeping him alive, manages to turn his head enough to the side to say “Please, please, Matty, please,” and then his eyes roll back.

He’s so close, whining and whimpering nonsense and trying to form words to warn Matty, failing, but not caring, because he’s blinded by how good it feels, and Matty isn’t letting up, in fact, he’s fucking him harder, pulling George’s hips into his own with every thrust, determined to make him come.

It doesn’t take long before he’s right on the edge, just needing a tiny bit more, and then Matty fists a hand into his hair once more, and he’s gone. The combination of Matty fucking him so good, with the sharp pain on his scalp, is better than anything he could’ve imagined, and he cries out as he comes, over and over, moaning into the pillows and clenching his fists, begging with completely incoherent noises. Matty keeps moving for a bit, and George doesn’t have the mind to protest, nor does he want to, he’d rather lie in the afterglow and be only half aware of how overstimulated he’s becoming.

He doesn’t really notice when Matty comes, and he doesn’t notice virtually anything else for a while after, either, just lets himself be moved around as Matty tries his best to clean him, trying to manoeuvre him into some position easier to clean from, and not doing very well, because…well, the size of George.

sorry ending Shit possibly all shit but whatever i wrote most of it. enjoy life

[7ouls]

daisuke x fem reader where they’re both super awkward and swansea is tired of them being oblivious to the way they feel for eachother that he makes both of his interns work on a project together

omg i totally loved writing this even tho i hcent written in a while so it might look weird? im really sorry its been a long time… (and its pretty short sorry abt that) also swansea is probably a bit ooc (i think u say it like that? idk) cause i have really bad memory so sorry abt that too…

this is set before the crash

No matter how many times the two interns tried to communicate it would always end up being awkward since everyone but them knew about their obvious crush on each other.

Nobody cares enough to help them realise that, except their boss Swansea.

That shortly explains how the three of them are now repeating the bases of engineering.

“So is that clear?” The older man looked at the young adults as they nodded.

“Great, i don’t have to repeat myself for once. Now to see how much you’ve understood try to fix this.”

He said taking an old radio that sat behind him and handed them the needed tools. He then proceeded to leave but not before giving a smirk to his interns that blushed as a reaction.

Daisuke was the first to speak up. “I didn’t actually understand all of it.”

Y/n giggled at the boy and he soon joined too. “Don’t worry… I barely managed to take some notes. Swansea isn’t really the best teacher…”

“But we don’t really have much of a choice”

“Right, so here. You can read some of my notes and umm… i guess start working.” She said handing him her notebook. He started quietly reading all of it as the girl got slowly closer and closer to read with him.

After a while Daisuke stopped and thanked her, then realised how close she’s gotten to him. Y/n panicking apologised as she didn’t notice the close distance between them.

He quickly straightened himself. “No need to apologise! We’re supposed to work together so that eventually would’ve happened, not that i mind anyways…” He muttered the last part.

Y/n raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t question it. “We should get the work started now.” She said as he nodded happily.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It has been around two hours when the two finally ended their work and were now chatting.

“Sooo… would you be free after dinner tonight?” Daisuke asked nervously, Y/n blushed at the question then smiled. “I mean… there’s not much else to do so yes. Why do you ask?”

The boy grinned and answered. “Well, i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. Would you like to play on my gameboy with me? We can take turns! And then we can eat all the sweets that i have and stay up all night!” He exclaimed out of breath.

Y/n was surprised to hear the boy so excited and soon replied. “Sure, we can do that. We’ll just have to make sure to be quiet or else we’ll wake the captain up.” Daisuke happily nodded as he watched the girl get up and wave at him.

When she left he let put a puff of air he didn’t know he was holding. “Holy moly. She’s like super cool!”

i took the gameboy idea from a daisuke fanfic on here but i dont remember the tag. sorry this is kinda short as i said i have to get used to weiting it’s been like 2 years since i last did it. maybe i’ll write about that sleepover soemtime!! (i swear this looked longer whem i wrote it on my diary)

[etherealising]

chapter one | a berzatto family christmas

masterlist | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmen berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!michael berzatto x fem!reader : platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: you reunite with carmy years later at the berzatto family christmas party.

warnings: language (cursing), blasphemy, angst (maybe?), spoilers kinda (if you haven't seen season 2 don't read), the berzatto family, not dialogue heavy, very subtle hints to mikey being suicidal, probably ooc!characters, idk what else but if you find something let me know please! not beta’d and minimal editing so sorry for any mistakes. i also wrote this overstimulated on caffeine so if it doesn’t make sense or it’s repetitive then we know why : )

semantics: no use of Y/N: reader goes by the nickname Baby it has a backstory and its literally so simple, if this bothers you idk what to tell you, sorry : (

wc: 4.7k

You were standing on the sidewalk, nerves filling your body as you hyped yourself up to take the few steps left to the porch and ring the doorbell. You shouldn’t have been so nervous, you knew that but your mind was spinning with the myriad of scenarios both good and bad; that could play out once you stepped foot past the threshold. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much that you were nervous to enter the house itself, it was the fact that you’d be face to face with your childhood best friend for the first time in you didn’t even know how long. Maybe childhood best friend was a stretch you had only been introduced into each other's lives due to circumstance, and because of that forced proximity, you both took comfort in having someone stable around.

The two of you weren’t friends because you had chosen each other, or because you had met in kindergarten and shared toys in the sandbox because the other kids were stingy. No, you met because as a single mom, your mother needed all the shifts she could get even if that meant working the graveyard shift at the hospital, and only seeing you a handful of hours throughout the day because most times she was too dead on her feet to be conscious for more than a few hours. And when she could no longer pay the babysitter her next best option was the eccentric woman across the street who had children close in age with you.

Enter Donna Berzatto, a woman who came to feel like a second mom to you. It's not that she replaced your mom, no one could ever replace her, but she was the only real mother figure you knew for a time in your life. Who took you in as her own when your mother needed a new babysitter, and not just you but integrated your mom into the family as well, when she was spared the time off from nursing. Donna Berzatto who never sent you home empty-handed, and always made enough food for you and your mom to last throughout the week, just so your mother wouldn’t have to worry about fitting grocery shopping into her already hectic schedule. Donna Berzatto who, even when you were old enough to no longer need a babysitter, would send Carmy across the street to fetch you for family dinner, or even just invite you over because she thought you needed company.

Now that you were thinking about it, it seemed like you were more friends with his mom than you ever were with Carmen Berzatto. But then that would be a lie wouldn’t it?

You and Carmen Berzatto were friends due to circumstance, maybe even best friends. You weren’t just friends at his house, but you were school friends, you were everywhere friends. He really was your only true friend, of course, you had school friends, but that’s just what they were. You saw them Monday through Friday for a mandatory education, never an hour before school started or a minute after the final bell. Which didn’t necessarily bother you, but sometimes you longed for a weekend invitation to hang out, not that it ever came. And it wasn’t like you were shunned or unpopular in school, you were just average, you didn’t see a point in making friends with people you weren’t actually interested in befriending.

That’s what made Carmy so different, yes maybe you were only introduced due to circumstances but that didn’t stop the two of you from latching onto each other for dear life. Your mom always wondered how you two even established the friendship you did, with both of you being shy and never feeling the need to go out of your way to make friends. Include the fact that you had been neighbors practically your whole lives and never once taken an interest in each other aside from shy waves and curious childlike staring when either of you would be outside.

Your relationship with Carmen progressed as any childlike relationship would, you befriended each other, had your incessant petty arguments and fights, nothing ever serious enough to actually cause damage just childish antics. And it continued to progress through middle school and high school, the two of you were each other’s person, you just understood each other, the two of you let the other understand you, and wanted to be understood by each other.

You could also recall what you explain as a minute change in your friendship. As Senior year approached and you and Carmy continued to grow into yourselves, you developed a slight crush on the boy you had grown up with. It obviously wasn’t as small as you thought it was if you were standing in front of his childhood home giving yourself a pep talk just to ring the damn doorbell though was it?

The unsolicited card and wrapped present weighed heavy in your tote bag, as your breath was made visible by the chilly Chicago weather.

It was Christmas and for all intents and purposes you had been planning on mailing the present to Carmen’s New York address, but after visiting The Beef on your way back into town Mikey and Richie had let it slip that indeed the infamous Berzatto sibling would be gracing everyone with his presence this holiday season.

It was moments like these you wished you had picked up on the Berzatto family’s horrible smoking habit, thankfully your mom had taught you just how vital having functioning lungs was.

Your head shot up as the sound of loud rambunctious voices drew your attention to the front door opening and closing revealing a face you were all too familiar with and actually relieved to see. The oldest Berzatto brother stood on the porch, hands on his hips as he gave you a goofy smile. You could feel your lips stretching into a smile of your own, the infectious aura that Michael Berzatto exuded doing wonders to calm your racing mind.

“I know you didn’t come all this way just to stand outside staring at my family home like a fucking weirdo Baby.” Mikey’s smile grew in size as he teased you.

You rolled your eyes at the childhood nickname you wish hadn’t stuck as Mikey opened his arms to wrap you in one of his signature hugs. The two of you stood on the porch embracing each other for what felt like hours, you needed this hug as much as he needed it, you knew it and Mikey did too. That was the thing about you and Mikey although not blood-related it was as if your souls knew each other in a past life. Of the Berzatto siblings, Mikey was the last sibling you developed a relationship with. Growing up he was always just Carmy’s older brother but as you grew up surrounded by him, he became your surrogate older brother as well. And when Carmy dashed off to pursue his culinary dreams in New York, you and Mikey grew even closer.

You stepped back from the embrace, your eyes finding Mikey’s as he looked at you with a knowing glint in his eyes. “You not standing out here cause of a certain Chef in that house are ya?” Mikey asked, smirking down at you.

You chuckled “The only reason I come around anymore is for Mama Donna.” You joked doing a poor job to convince Mikey.

He nodded, tossing his head back with a laugh, “You were always a shit liar Baby. Carmy’s an idiot, don't let him ruin your Christmas.”

You let out a sigh head resting against Mikey’s chest as you tried to let his words soothe you even more, “He’s not ruining it, you just know things have been kind of stilted between us, and I don’t know this whole situation just feels awkward.”

You raised your head to look at Mikey again, “It’s awkward right? Am I making things awkward? I don’t wanna ruin Christmas Mikey, I know how your mom is and I know how Carmy is, I don’t wanna ambush him.”

The worry in your voice was evident as Mikey stood there listening to your ranting. His hand reached out as he used his thumb to massage away the frown between your eyebrows. “Calm down Baby, you know Ma is expecting you, and she wouldn’t take it well if you missed Christmas. She looks forward to seeing you every year, you give her a piece of Carmy when he can’t be fucking asked to come home and visit.” His hand moved down to cup the side of your neck rubbing soothing circles where his thumb rested, “Do it for Ma okay? Let Carmy be fucking wonder boy Carmy a’ight.”

You laughed nodding your head as best as you could with Mikey’s hand holding it, he smiled giving you one last hug before dropping his hand to grab your wrist and tug you into the house. You stopped him by placing a hand on his arm that was connected to yours.

“Hold on Mikey, I got you something.” You moved to start rummaging through your tote bag stalling because you were too nervous for his reaction to the present.

“Awe you didn’t have to get me nothing.” You turned back to him with the present in your hands as he held his own hands over his heart mockingly. You knew Mikey didn’t do well when it came to sentimental things and the best you would get out of him was a joke as opposed to anything else.

You laughed holding the rectangular wrapped present out to him, “I wanted to Mikey, don’t think of this as a gift, think of it uhh…as a show of appreciation yeah?” You nodded feeling your face heat up as you dropped your head so he couldn’t see how unsure you were about the gift.

He smiled, finding your shyness endearing before tearing into the neatly wrapped paper and revealing a frame, his hands engulfing it from end to end. He smiled looking at it before you saw confusion etch across his face, “This is great Baby, yeah but uh what the fuck am I looking at?”

You shove his shoulder before laughing at him and grabbing the frame out of his hands but holding it in front of your chest so he could still see its contents, “It's a trademark certification you dumbass, can’t you fucking read Mikey.” You joked to try and underestimate how big of a gift this was.

Mikey’s brows furrowed before he snatched the frame out of your hands to get a better look at the certificate sitting behind the glass, eyes snapping back up to your face with a look you couldn’t read. You shuffled your feet feeling like you overstepped a boundary you didn’t even know was between you and Mikey, “Don’t worry though I-I, put it in your name, it’s not like I trademarked it for myself or anything. I just know how much this means to you and I, I know shit has been tough lately and I’m sorry if you feel like I stepped on your toes but…Mikey, you deserve good things too okay?” You hadn’t meant to go on a rant, but you could feel the apprehension leaving you as you became passionate in every word you spoke.

“You deserve to be fucking happy Mikey, and I, I want you to know I fucking believe in you and I’m always in your corner. If it's-” You were cut off by Mikey clearing his throat, causing your eyes to snap back up to his, all the emotions he didn’t know how to translate into words swirling in his brown eyes, a small smile resting on his lips.

“Mikey-,” Before you could get another word out you were once again trapped in his comforting embrace, this hug conveying something completely different from the earlier one you shared. Mikey’s head tucked into your neck as you felt his uneasy breathing through your hands clutched around him. Mikey wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, and feeling a tear of his smear against your cheek as he raised his head from your neck and settled his bearded cheek against yours, you weren’t sure if you had done the right thing by giving him the gift or not.

The two of you stood in silence as you allowed Mikey his moment, not wanting to make him feel insecure about you being present while he was being emotional. When he finally pulled away you could see the leftover sheen in his eyes. He tucked the framed certificate under his arm as both his hands reached up to grab your face in both of his hands, eyes finding yours, a whispered “thank you, baby,” leaving his lips as he placed a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed the frame again and wrapped you in another hug.

His head rested atop yours as your face rested against his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. You lied, you thought the last hug was different, but no it was this hug that was different, while the second hug you shared in the span of 20 minutes was a hug of love and gratitude. This hug felt heavier, like there were things Mikey wanted to tell you but couldn’t, things he only felt he could convey through a hug, things you weren’t sure if you wanted to question or not.

It had been almost 20 minutes since Michael had escaped the house to do whatever the fuck it was he was doing outside. Carmy didn’t know and in all honesty he didn’t actually give a shit either, too busy helping Donna out in the kitchen to try to give any thoughts to whatever had grabbed Mikey’s attention.

He was focused in the corner of the kitchen making Tiff Sprite to help alleviate her nausea symptoms. Anyone else would have done their best to block out the rambunctious noises going on throughout the house, not Carmy though, the chaos fueled him, it grounded him. If the house was quiet it would have been too much for him, to be alone with his own thoughts ping-ponging around in his head, waiting for a chance to drown him. So if he had to listen to his mom list a plethora of things he needed to make sure happened for Christmas dinner to go off without a hitch while he was making Sprite from scratch, he welcomed it.

He finished his concoction just in time for Richie to walk through the kitchen, the older man trying to figure out how the fuck it was even possible to make Sprite from scratch. Gratefully taking the glass Carmy had offered to him, marveling at the carbonated drink in his hand.

Carmy nodded in his direction, “Yo Cousin, where the fuck is Mikey. He just fucking disappeared.” Carmy’s head swiveled around the kitchen double checking whether his brother was there or not, coming up empty in his search. Richie glanced up before settling his eyes back on the drink in his hand still doing the mental math to wrap his head around what the fuck Carmy just made.

Richie jutted his head in the direction of the front door, “Outside talking to Baby.” His eyes finally focused on Carmy’s in time to see the frown grace the younger man’s face, his eyebrows pinching together in agitation, annoyed that his brother was on a phone call rather than inside. Though that’s what Carmy told himself subconsciously he knew he was just annoyed at the fact that Mikey was even talking to you at all. Carmy didn’t think he was possessive but as you and Mikey grew closer through the years, he couldn’t help but feel miffed about the ever growing friendship between the two of you. You and your friendship with Carmy was the first thing in his life that he felt like was actually his and his alone.

It’s funny really for Carmy to think he has any sort of claim over you, or like the two of you were even really friends anymore. When he left Chicago to pursue his culinary dreams, he left you behind to, essentially ghosting the one real friend he did have. It’s not like he meant to, you two just went your separate ways after graduation, and he wasn’t even sure if there even was an “Us” when it came to the two of you anymore. If that was the case the only person he had to blame was himself, it was no fault of yours that your friendship had hit a plateau, Carmy hadn’t responded to a text of yours in years, and the fact that you still texted him to this day caused a slight pain in his chest as he stood in the middle of his mother’s kitchen, frown still etched into his features.

“He’s outside on the phone with Baby?” Carmy questioned the ache in his chest doing nothing to alleviate his irritation. It was Richie’s turn to frown reciprocating the same confused look Camry wore.

“What - No dickhead, he’s talking to Baby, like she’s right in fucking front of him and shit.” Richie swatted the side of Carmy’s head like a child. “Your moms invites her to every holiday, Cousin, and she comes every time.” Richie knew the last bit wasn’t necessary but felt Carmy rightfully deserved it, all anyone wanted from the youngest Berzatto was a visit.

“Dudes been out there for fucking ever though, those to idiots just standing outside like a bunch of fucking jackoffs.” Richie left the kitchen not waiting for Carmy to follow him before heading to the front door. He stopped moving the curtain on one of the side windows to spot two of the people he considered family. He let out a low whistle nudging Carmy’s shoulder who had finally joined his side nodding his head to the window.

“Get a load of these fucking losers hugging on the porch like they’re in some fucking Hallmark movie or some shit.” Richie laughed pointing at you and Mikey through the window. Carmy leaned closer to get a peak at what Richie was going on about.

Carmy hated to admit it, but Richie was right, the too of you looked like the happy couple who just saved a small town’s Christmas or whatever the fuck Hallmark movies were about. Mikey had finally separated himself from you long enough for Carmy to take in your features. He’d be lying if he said the years apart made him forget what you looked like. You were still the same girl he left in Chicago all those years ago except the wand of maturity had touched you, and in his opinion he thought you looked more beautiful than you had in high school.

Carmy was never one to pay too much attention to a woman’s features, and not because he didn’t care, it's just that he didn’t think it mattered. But as he drank in your form he learned in that exact moment why a woman might want people to notice the small things. Like the haircut you were sporting that Carmy felt shaped your face well, not that he knew shit about stuff like that, but he could appreciate art when he saw it. The outfit you picked out doing wonders to compliment your tall form and accentuate your legs. Carmy could look at you all day, scratch that he wanted to look at you all day.

He was torn from his reverie as Richie narrated the scene happening in front of them, “Aw look at these fuckers lookin all in love an shit.” He joked watching as Mikey slung his arm around you and led you towards the door, what looked to be a frame held in his other hand. The two of you walked side by side, your arm wrapped around his torso, hugging him into your side, Mikey’s head leaning slightly down to whisper something in your ear a small smile gracing your face as Mikey pressed his lips onto your temple lingering there for what Carmen swore was forever.

The tightness in his chest intensified tenfold as the realization of just how close you and Mikey had become sank into him. He didn’t know how to feel, his brain not even allowing any emotions to process, saving himself from any conclusions he might come to from a split second interaction.

Carmy left, he chose his path, he knew this, and he had no regrets he would pursue his dream every time the opportunity was presented. He just wished that, maybe if he held onto you as tightly as you still held onto him, it would’ve been him greeting you on the sidewalk on Christmas Day, being the sole object of your attention holding you close to his longing body. He knew overall the decisions he made regarding you were wrong, while he ignored your daily text and calls enough times for you to just resort to monthly check ins asking him about his endeavors and congratulations as you heard about his achievements in the culinary industry, he knew deep down that Mikey answered every text and call you sent his way, made it his mission to connect with you anytime you were back in Chicago.

Carmy couldn’t admit it to himself but deep down he knew his family saw spending time with you as a way to stay connected to him. You were the closest thing any of them still had to Carmy, and even though he had essentially cut you off from his life, his family loved you too much to allow Carmy’s shortcomings to affect their relationship with you.

He was broken from the recesses of his mind as Richie threw the door open stepping over the threshold raising his hands in the air to welcome you and Mikey into the house. The glass of Sprite still clutched in his left hand, a broad smile spread across his face as you left Mikey’s hold to greet Richie eyes not having spotted Carmy who was hidden behind Richie’s small frame.

Carmy’s first up close look at you in years were your hands wrapped around Richie’s torso as he pulled you into a hug, rocking the two of you back and forth, Richie let you go quickly turning his body back into the house “A’ight fuckers you can all stop pretending you care so much about Carmy and his little rat in the chef hat bullshit. We got the real deal here now, Baby's gracing us with her journalist presence.”

Carmy’s brows furrowed at Richie’s dig only slightly offended about being compared to a fictional character named after pasta, too caught up in allowing the sound of your laugh to grace his ears for the first time in what felt like forever. Mikey had finally caught up to you standing behind you with a hand placed on your shoulder, Carmy watched as his brother’s hand glided up and down your arm before giving your bicep a slight squeeze and nodding his head in Carmy’s direction.

If Carmy was being honest it was becoming increasingly difficult to quiet his mind that was eagerly trying to piece everything together. From yours and Mikey's prolonged moment on the porch, to the kiss he placed on your temple, add in Richie’s jokes and the almost constant physical contact between you and Mikey and Carmy was sure he figured shit out.

You looked to where Mikey motioned his head finally noticing Carmy’s figure standing there while Richie ran off towards the stairs after his impromptu introduction. Looking at Carmy was like being in a Time Machine, nothing had drastically changed, he looked more exhausted than what you remembered. But overall he was the same Carmy you parted ways with all those years ago.

A small smile graced your lips as you took him in, he was still your Carmy appearance wise, and right now for you that was all that mattered. You lifted your hand in a small wave gaining his attention, your smile growing wider as your eyes locked with his.

The clearing of a throat broke you from your thoughts, Mikey’s hand giving your shoulder a squeeze as he walked you two into the house before shutting the door behind him. As he finished he stood in front of you so that Carmy was partially covered from view by each brother in your line of vision though your focus was taken up by the eldest. He gave you a reassuring smile before gently knocking his fist against your chin and presumably turning to leave you and Carmy alone.

As Mikey walked past Carmy he gave him his signature grin and a wink before patting his shoulder as left to check on Donna in the kitchen and mingle with the other guests.

Carmy’s face was still set in the same frown it had been in when he first asked Richie where Mikey ran off to. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves before taking a step to close the gap between you, your hand reached out to gently squeeze Carmy’s arm though stopping in midair as you watched him subtly flinch. Your smile faltered, your hand finding its rightful place at your side. You looked up to see the apology in Carmy’s eyes, you did your best to brush the moment off, maybe you came on too strong, maybe it wasn’t fair that you were still pushing for a friendship when Carmy had given you all the reasons to stop trying, maybe the Carmy in front of you was a different Carmy to the one you used to know. Maybe the life where it was you and Carmy had finally taken its last breath and you were just too clingy and desperate to realize.

You cleared your throat trying to alleviate the lump forming from the thoughts that were racing through your brain. The small placating smile on your face there to stop you from having a full breakdown in the Berzatto’s foyer. “Its good to see you Carmen, I hope New York is treating you well.” You lips wrapped around the generic greeting forcing yourself not to say anything you might regret.

Carmy nodded his head rapidly accepting your lackluster words, his lips parting and closing all in the same breath. The man obviously had nothing to say to you, and maybe you just had to accept that. You stayed a moment longer cursing yourself for doing so as the air between you two filled with palpable tension.

“Baby, is that you? My goodness you look fucking gorgeous.” Half of Donna’s body had popped out of the kitchen finally gaining a spare moment to greet you. Her words mumbled through the cigarette between her lips, a ladle held in her right hand while the left was occupied by tongs. Her apron covered in all sorts of sauces and whatever the hell else your brain couldn’t even begin to discern.

You laughed half in amusement and half in relief, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there as Carmy burned holes in your body. You waved at Donna quickly, beginning to head towards her to join her in the kitchen. It wasn’t your first choice as an escape from Carmen but you’d rather try and help Donna finish preparing Christmas dinner than be around Carmy for another minute.

Donna waved the tongs in Carmy’s direction, “Jesus fucking Christ Carmen, take the girls bag and coat. Don’t just fuckin stand there.” She huffed eyes glaring the longer Carmen stayed glued to the spot. You handed him your tote as soon as his arm shot out and began hastily shimmying out of your jacket. You gave him a soft smile before laying the jacket on his awaiting arm.

You began to leave the foyer as Donna motioned for you to follow her, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to walk into. A sudden thought occurred causing you to gently grip Carmy’s bicep as you were walking past him, “I uh, I actually bought you a Christmas present. So um, find me later yeah?” You smiled tilting your head slightly in questioning.

Carmen Berzatto graced you with a small smile, nodding back in agreement as you sent him one final nod and turned to enter the kitchen. The first positive emotion he granted you since you walked back into his life 30 minutes ago.

next chapter ↣

a/n: this is my first fic that i’m publishing and i genuinely have no clue what the fuck any of this is, : ) but nonetheless hope you all enjoy! or don’t i’m just a stranger on the internet. constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated though. please like, comment, reblog if this behemoth tickles your fancy!

also i write for fun/hobby and i'm such an inconsistent bitch so don't get your hopes too high, but this will potentially be a series idk yet though lol.

[stump-not-found]

A03 wrapped 2024

tagged by @tempusedax-rerum >:DDDDD

1.) Biggest surprise while writing this year?

how much people responded to bill cipher saying daddy . how people have interpreted ford's relationship to mabel in theseus' guide; i've really tried to write him as really caring for her so seeing that interpreted as him disliking her is so interesting haha

most of all tho i'm just surprised and very grateful that theseus has received any attention, it's been so so wonderful reading everyone's thoughts and seeing them engage with the fic . it really makes the entire process so gratifying, and i hope folks continue to enjoy where the story goes next :D

2.) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

i've got my erotic billford rom com Can of Snakes that's over 20k right now . it has banger titles such as "sad handjob" and "penicular sounding", so someday i'll be posting that . i think they can make it work

i also just started Weirdmageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo: Lost In New York, an AU where ford gets stan to help him finish the portal after kicking fidd's to the curb . stan and bill become besties, ford hates it, and bill isn't allowed to destroy new york until he tries a slice of 'za .

this is not accounting for the mountain of comic WIP's i have but that shit aint goin on ao3

3.) Favourite character to write this year?

ford for sure . you give me a character who's autistic in a way that isn't cute and it just means the world to me . i get to give him evil autism . the autism where we acknowledge growing up autistic is traumatizing and makes you not a nice person all the time . fuck i love him . i get to dump so much of my own shit on him its so funnnnnnn yay lalalala

there was a whole paragraph i wrote that was just describing the perfect eye angle to maintain when walking through a farmers market to avoid social scenario's, which i had to remove because it was just me rambling about my own social survival strategies . farmers markets are dangerous places

i also love writing him in the context of bill . what a fucking mess they are i hope they never get better . but together <3

4.) The character that gave you the most trouble this year?

honestly stanley pines . i feel like i soften him too much, and lean in to his more positive traits than his more negative ones . it's hard because i feel like folks don't talk about the fact he was homeless for like 10 years & also had a breaking bad style adventure in columbia

the other problem is that he IS a big softy so idk . but he should be bitchier god damn it . he should be talking about his cataracts

6.) Did you receive any gifts this year?

I DID YOU INSANE PEOPLE thank you all it make a me smile:

@stemmmm @ancharan @kronehaze @sillyhyperfixator @ezrathean0n

7.) Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i feel like all my writing is collaborative!! i spend hours talking fic stuff with my wife & brother and my stuff is all the better for it . would love to do more of that w/ other folks i love it talking and thinking and playing is so fun

8.) What do you listen to while writing?

i don't like listening to music when i write lol ...... i sit in the cold silence and type in a frantic spiral .

i listen to a lotta different things while i think of things to write tho . atm all i want in the world is to make a theseus animation to this song it's very hammercore :

9.) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oogh that's hard to choose . i'm just gonna share a bunch that make me laugh

from theseus' guide step six:

Dipper, clearly, doesn’t get it, and Ford acknowledges he is too young to understand a professional working relationship.

also from step six:

“Oh, sure, I can move on,” Stan grins, “To the other items on my list. A, the shack’s toilets all suck, and the seats keep raisin’ automatically. B, your handwriting sucks. C–”

from theseus' guide step three:

“You think you’re coming back anytime soon?” “No, 8-Ball, I don’t think I’m ‘ coming back ’ anytime soon.” Ford snides, though 8-Ball either doesn’t register that, or doesn’t care; hard to tell with the guy, “I’m sure you’re aware, but your boss wants to kill my family. And destroy my universe. ” 8-Ball sniffs. “Cool. Mind if I eat your leftovers then? Teeth keeps eyeing them.” Ford frowns, “You couldn’t have just brought them with you?” “Nah, man, I want to eat them.”

lots of lines from step eight but we ain't there yet

uuuuhhghhg who to send this chain mail along to uuuhgghgh

@beccadrawsstuff if u wannaaaa . anyone else feel free to pick this up as well i'm bad at this lol

[songmingisthighs]

Lonely Breeze

group : ateez

pairing : poly!yungi × reader

genre : angst, hurt/comfort

wc : 3.1 k

tw : angst, poly relationship, heavy stuff maybe; relationship issues, psychological issues, mentions of blood (injury), mentions of anxiety, ngl I'm just rambling at this point so if this is not your thing, pls skip lol.

a/n : this is why i don't listen to anything produced by mingi. I'm textbook kubler-ross every single time and idk how to feel about it. and yea i wrote this in 2 hours

buy me coffee ?

It had been three days since you ran away.

Can it be counted as running away? You're a full-grown adult with intact mental faculties and 'running away' sounds rather juvenile.

Life had gotten too hard and you were overwhelmed. Despite having wonderful boyfriends like Yunho and Mingi, this time you truly didn't know what to do but you knew that you had to get out of there before you completely exploded.

To be honest, Yunho and Mingi were one of the reasons you had to run away.

It was nothing against them per se but you felt bad for having to always rely on them all the time.

The three of you met on the cusp of adulthood, at a dance academy workshop. The three of you didn't mean to join that joint workshop because each of you was from different area branches of the academy but you all just clicked. From then, you and they planned your lives together even down to which university you three will attend. But it wasn't until nearing the senior year that you three decided to pursue a romantic relationship. You still remembered it like it was yesterday. How you, Mingi, and Yunho join your other friends on a countryside trip to celebrate the end of the 6th semester only to find out that the cabin was at maxed capacity so you three had to rent a small, dusty place on your own. Little did you know, you, Yunho and Mingi had each planned separately to come clean about your feelings. You were the first to confess after having a particularly tiring clean-up session (just so you won't inhale the dust that had accumulated in the cabin), accidentally telling them how you could see the three of you in your 30s cleaning the apartment you will share together. You remembered the dread that washed down on you when Mingi asked what you meant. Like the reliable pillar he is, Yunho was the one who helped you calm yourself down and told you that he could see the same thing, how he felt the same way about you and Mingi. Then Mingi confessed his own feelings and from then on, you three were even more inseparable than you had ever been before.

While it surprised people that the three of you decided to commit to a relationship that was far from orthodox, no one was really fazed. Everyone who knew the three of you had at least assumed you three were sleeping together which was why no one approached either one of you romantically all through university.

Some called it fate, some called it dedication.

You believed in the former more than the latter.

But recently?

You feared that you had trapped them.

Maybe it was a quarter-life crisis but you suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of your life. It wasn't like things were falling apart. On the contrary, the pieces of your life were finally falling into place; you were starting to really shine at work, and you were finally able to start saving whilst resolving some of your financial issues. Your relationship with your boyfriends was even at its peak, there was more love than the three of you ever needed and you three were beyond happy.

Then one day, one day a week ago, things crashed down on you.

You didn't know what it was, you didn't know what caused it, but you suddenly couldn't breathe. You remembered holding onto the bathroom sink while your body trembled, tears streaming down your face like a busted faucet and you couldn't move. The cool bathroom suddenly felt suffocating and the sound of your boyfriends laughing just on the other side of the door felt deafening. It took you a long while to break free from that state and you only managed to do so because Mingi had knocked on the bathroom door asking for you to let him in because he needed to use the bathroom. That night, you found yourself unable to sleep and even finding their presence too much for you to handle even after switching position with Mingi so you could be at the edge. You had slipped away and cried yourself to sleep on the couch, sobbing silently until fatigue took over.

That whole week you were distant until three days ago when you came home from work to see a note on the table from Yunho who let you know that they were out for a bit to get something special for you.

One second you were pouring yourself a glass of water to calm your trembling hands and the next, you were in a train with a duffle bag heading to the countryside, cradling your hand that had a gash and fresh dried blood.

When you arrived at the dark and lonely cabin, you finally broke down, wailing into the emptiness as you hugged yourself in the middle of the room.

Neither of them was aware of what happened.

Or so you thought.

The first person who noticed how distant you became was Yunho. He had sensed that something was wrong since that day in the bathroom. He could never forget the look on your face as you stepped out. Your usually lively eyes were empty and you didn't even react when Mingi pressed a kiss on your forehead. At first, he thought that you might have had a bad day and that you were just not in the mood but as the days passed, you seemed more silent and distant. Yunho wanted to ask what was wrong but he didn't want to make it seem like he was prying so he tried to let you know that he was there for you in different ways; soft touches, words of affirmation, little presents in the form of your favourite drink or plans of going on a trip. He wanted you to have all the space you needed.

Mingi on the other hand immediately jumped into worrying about you. Suddenly he kept texting about your whereabouts and your feelings. He had even asked if he should pick you up early from work and even showed that he was already in front of your building. Mingi knew what it felt like to be all alone stuck in a headspace and it had taken him so long and finally relent, letting you and Yunho pull him out and believing you two that you were there for him. So he wanted to repay all that especially since you were the one who gently washed his tear-stained face and slowly fed him until he regained his own strength. He remembered the pit and he didn't like the idea of you being there.

So when they were met with an empty apartment the day you left, they went into panic mode. The sight of a couple droplets of blood near the broken glass and your work bag thrown carelessly on the couch was enough to send them into a frenzy and sadly, they even turned on each other.

Yunho wanted to calm himself and Mingi down first because neither of them even knew what happened and where you had gone to while Mingi, pointing that out, stated that they both needed to catch you before you could even go far. Then they fought over the fact that they were fighting when they should be looking for you and it ended with Mingi leaving the apartment when Yunho ran into your shared room, trying to charge his phone to see if you had contacted either of them.

Essentially, the three of you were alone at that moment in time. Nothing made sense and none of you had any ways of getting an answer.

You were alone in the cabin, crying your eyes out about... Nothing. You felt stupid for feeling bad over your life that was going rather well and you felt bad for leaving your boyfriends without an explanation. It was simple, you could've simply grabbed the phone and texted either one of them to let them know... Something. You could tell them that you needed time alone. But do you really? You could tell them that you were sorry. But were you really? You could tell them that you were overwhelmed and that they were not making your situation any better by being so supportive. But were they really? You felt like you were not worthy to even send them a text because who the fuck were you to be acting like that and then asking for understanding?

Mingi was running around aimlessly with worry sitting deep in the pit of his stomach. He had gone to several of your friends' places, friends you trusted who wouldn't blab about your disappearance. He hated being in a state of not knowing because he felt helpless. He hated being helpless. Mingi was not a helpless person so he didn't want to be associated with the feeling. First things first, he had to find you. But where could you be? Why had he never taken the time to ask you places you wanted to go to, thinking that you had gone alone because he was too busy with himself. Seeds of doubt planted by the negativity of the situation started sprouting its ugliness. Was your leaving his fault? Was he too self-involved to not have taken the time to dedicate his attention to you once in a while? Was he taking too much of Yunho and your attention? His head hurts.

Yunho, in defeat, slumped against the bed you three shared. Your pillar, your rock finally broke down and with each sob, his mind found it even harder to make sense of things. All the decision in his life was made on a strong foundation, Yunho was a sure man, and he didn't regret the choices he made and the path he took. But was he too sure of himself this time? Out of the three of you, Yunho was always the tie-breaker because he makes his decisions carefully and with logic. He never found any reason to resent that part of him until you left. Did he miss something? Were there signs that you had needed a different kind of treatment? Had he gotten too overconfident this time? Had his so-called level-headedness cost him something important?

Whatever it was you hoped could happen or appear by running away alone never came. Each hour you spent trying to make sense of things or finding a way to calm yourself only made it clear that you were all alone.

Dark thoughts started plaguing your brain, skewing your happy memories into something that was far from reality. The memories you had of banding together into a trio with Yunho and Mingi turned into fear that maybe you had inserted yourself into their friendship. After all, they found themselves together first before you bumped into Yunho and told him how you were alone, effectively guilt-tripping him. The thought of how they have always had your back turned into anxiety that maybe you had leaned on them too much. You relied on them more than you should and now you were a burden to them. The things you told them, should you have told them? Especially the dark ones, the ones that stemmed from your bad mental state. Were you manipulating them without realizing it? Were your promises of the future even really promises? How could you be sure that it wasn't you pressuring your expectations to them?

It had been three days. Were you still alone because they thought you were better off alone? That they too, needed time away from you? Maybe you never needed your own space, maybe it was your subconscious telling you that you needed to give them space from you.

Loud bangs broke the train of thought and the more you came back to reality, the more you recognized the voices.

"Mingi?" you inhaled sharply, seeing the face of one of your lovers on the window as he banged the wall.

Thinking that you were hallucinating, you turned your head away and stood up. There was no way he could be there.

More bangs were heard and when you turned around again, you saw both Mingi who was now with Yunho staring at you from the window.

"(y/n), open up!" Yunho called out.

Normally, you would register his voice as is but your brain, in its unstable state, thought that he was demanding you to let him in. Mingi too, though he was only standing there looking at you, sending knocks on the window as he wanted to hold you once again, your brain took that as him glaring at you and being in fury.

Anxiety shot up and your head shook violently. "N-no..." you whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you took a step back only to trip on a carpet and fall.

The sight of you on the floor caused Mingi and Yunho to abandon all reasons and logic and all they wanted to do was to help you. They started banging and trying to pry the door open, needing to get inside to be there for you but all it did was send you into a deeper spiral without them realizing. Your body curled into a ball while they were yelling for you to open the door. The more you heard them, the worse you felt and before you knew it, you were yelling for them to leave you be, leave you alone, you didn't deserve them.

It wasn't until you started yelling at how you should have never burdened yourself on them that they stopped banging on the door. Their eyes welled with tears hearing the things, untrue things, you hurled at yourself. It hurt them to hear you think so low of yourself like that. You were everything to them, you were something so precious and special and to think that you believe they would be better without you, it was like a serrated knife had been plunged into their hearts multiple times.

"That's not true (y/n), please..." Mingi rested his forehead on the door as his eyes closed slowly, letting tears wet his cheeks, "Please let me in, I... We... (y/n), please," he whimpered.

Looking around, Yunho remembered that the owner of the cabin had told him about a spare key a long time ago. Thinking that it was worth a shot, Yunho was glad to see that there was still a key hidden under the cushion of the porch lounger.

You were too busy bawling to realize that Yunho had opened the door successfully which was a good thing because had you realized, you would have done something stupid like run out into the field in the cold January breeze.

Mingi tried to rush inside only for Yunho to stop him, holding onto his arm as he watched you cry with a broken heart.

"Yunho, wha-"

Wordlessly, Yunho pulled Mingi down to sit in the doorway while maintaining his gaze on you.

Though confused, Mingi followed along, sitting down and looking between Yunho and you.

"We should go in there. She needs us," Mingi said, voice cracking as he shook Yunho slightly, trying to convince him to go inside. He knew he could definitely go inside himself, but for some reason, he felt like he shouldn't.

For once, Yunho didn't give any explanation and just shook his head one more time. Soon, however, his hand took one of Mingi's and they sat there with you with hands linked, waiting for you to... Well, they weren't sure what they were waiting for but they were sure they would understand soon.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You must have passed out from crying because you remembered feeling cold and alone but the moment you came to again, you realized that this time, you were... Warm.

Sitting up, you noticed that the skies outside were dark and when you turned your body around, you saw Yunho and Mingi attending to the fireplace. The cabin was dark save for the illumination provided by the warm fire.

It took a bit of time for your eyes to adjust but when your eyes really focused, you noticed that Mingi was holding onto your favourite blanket that you forgot to bring. How did they even got inside?

For a moment, you only watched them do their thing, comfortably sitting in silence as if enjoying conversation done by the soft crackles of the fireplace.

Mingi felt something on the back of his neck and when he turned his body slightly, he saw that you were staring at him with puffy eyes. His instinct told him to run to you and envelop you in a hug and tell you how worried he was and how much he regretted things that he thought he did. But his better judgement stopped him from making a move forward. Instead, he cracked a gentle smile and ducked his head down, carefully opening your folded blanket as a silent invitation.

Your body moved automatically towards him and before you knew it, you were suddenly sat in between Mingi and Yunho.

While Mingi draped you with your blanket, Yunho made final adjustments on the firewood before he sat down close to you and even moved so that you and he were shoulder-to-shoulder.

You were sure that they were going to ask what happened, what was wrong with you, why you ran away. But minutes passed and all there was was... Silence. You were sure that when you saw them again you'd be anxious because you had to explain yourself but all you felt was a sense of calm. It was rather ridiculous but you could feel the anxiety melting off of your body.

"I'm tired," finally you opened up even though your voice cracked due to how hoarse your throat felt. "I'm so tired," you exhaled as you closed your eyes, your bottom lip trembling once again.

This time, Yunho moved to sidle even closer to you so he could guide your head gently to rest on his chest. "You... Can you find it in your heart... To rest in mine?" Yunho spoke up finally, voice cracking as well. Mingi then moved closer until he was able to wrap his hands around your waist whilst leaning his head on Yunho's strong shoulder, effectively caging you securely between them. "You can rest in our hearts, love," he added, ducking to press a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

Nothing else needed to be said because nothing else should. The three of you had been through so much together in your youth that it felt like you were all alone. But, with the stars as your witness and the fire as your companion, you realized something that was always true. Even lonely, you were always together and your inadequacies made you whole. While pain exists and will always find its way back to remind you of your faults, it allows you to remember who and what you are, but most importantly, what you now have from that.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread

[4everhersss]

[will think of a title 🤍]

hii welcome to my first fic! i wrote this impulsively, so don’t mind my writing!

men and potentially minors dni. wlw. (idk yet😭)!sevika x fem!reader. kinda mystery. potential cowgirl theme? reader and (bad) husband moves from the city to the countryside. they are on the run. sevika not mentioned yet. wc: 498

prologue

sitting in the passenger seat of your car, or rather- your husband's car, you wake up, realizing it was already night.

the stars shined brighter in the countryside. it was one of the first things you noticed coming here. a drastic change to what you were used to- light pollution clouding over what was supposed to sparkle in the city sky, but the skyline made up for it.

“are we almost there honey?” you manage to muster out in your half-asleep state.

“mhm.”

he was still kind of distant after that fight you had with him this morning. you noticed it even in your tiredness. you glance at the clock. 2:07 am.

hours earlier

you remember shouting.

“i don’t even want this! you think i like having to pack up my whole life, leaving everything behind and-“

“will you just hurry it up?!”

the memory made your head ache more than your heart did. you had gotten used to it.

you and your husband were on the run. well actually, he was on the run, but being his wife, he made you come along. he was in such a hurry- didn’t even spare you a chance of calling your mom. before you left, you sent a quick text letting her know what happened.

“On the run?!?!”

“(Your name)”

“(YOUR FULL NAME (before you got your husband’s last name because she refuses on calling you that))”

“He’s always getting you into trouble I just knew he was up to no good from the start”

“At least tell me where you’re going”

you scroll through the missed calls and texts from your mom. sighing, you put your phone down and look out the window. you notice a horse in the field, you can barely make it out in the night, but you’re pretty sure it’s white with a unique dark spot around its eye. you don’t know why, but it makes you smile. maybe it’s the fact that it’s cute, or maybe it’s because it’s standing out there, with all the freedom in the world. you sigh, then mentally scold yourself for envying a horse. one moment you’re in your high rise apartment and the next-

oh, you’re already here.

you gaze at the house that stands before you. you don’t know which, but it’s one of your husband’s relatives’ properties. it’s a nice home at least.

your attention shifts to your phone, 2:22 am.

you weren’t much of a believer in angel numbers, but you looked it up anyway. you needed a sign, any sign of hope.

alignment. you are in the right place at the right time. bullshit. you frustratedly put ur phone away, helping your husband move stuff into your new shared home. that night, you could barely sleep. you felt like even you didn’t know who the man sleeping next to you was anymore, because as a matter of fact, you didn’t know why he was on the run either.

[mommahughes19-23]

long distance - J.S

@swayman.mrs : my #1 reason to get on a last min flight @ 4 am

tagged : @jswayman1

location : swaytown

jdebrusk : finally youre back

jake30ottinger : too bad we crushed them , sorry u had to see that 🥶😬

jakub_lauko : we get it ur a WAG welcome to the club girlyy

hampuslindholm27 : oooooooooooooo are you here to stay ??

↪ swayman.mrs : no , sadly I am leaving again , dont fret ill be back my good sir

tfreddy42 : how do you consider jeans "comfortable" flight attire at 4 am?!?!

↪ swayman.mrs : bc unlike u I prefer to look presentable at any hour

↪ tfreddy42 : idk about that mrs covers face in every pic ever

↪ swayman.mrs : I WILL GET J ON YOU SO FAST

↪ jswayman1 : uhm lets be nice in the comments kids

matt.grzelcyk : those are my 2 best friends ever omgomgomg

lullmark : uncle and auntie sway gracing us

africkk : the wife section is so much more entertaining with your stories Maddie !

↪ jswayman1 : uhm... what stories???

jswayman1 : my #1 reason to cry mid game - thanks for surprising me baby girl! 💖💖💖

amandacorvenius : so nice to finally meet you , considering youre alllllllll Jeremy talks about!

moaullmark : finally the kids can stop asking when youre going to be in town! come visit us !!!!!!!! @swayman.mrs 😜😜😜❤️❤️

emmageekie : beautiful girl!!💝

ezzybow : 💖💖💖💖

miavoyatzis : still so happy to have met you! hope we see more of you!

spoonzz79 : 😘

morgangeekie : 🤯

A.N :

this probably sucks bc I only wrote this as a some what request. I typically dont have any positive feelings for the bruins unless it is Jeremy Swayman & Linus Ullmark sorry. I am not familiar with any bruins players so idk if this is how interactions would be but I hope its kinda ok .

I like this idea so I might use it for other players too

xoxoxoxoxoxo, M

tags : @quinnylouhughesx43 @noahkahansorangejuice @skylershines

[daycourtofficial]

I finished! Here's a quick recap from the beginning to the most recent chapter!

Chapter 1: 

Y/N has a great ass and an incredible rack (in Mor’s words)

Y/N moves in with Cas 

 Mor and Cas have an established hook up relationship

Rhys brought pizza and referred to Y/N as “great rack” due to Mor’s description of people

Cas(big peen) has a mysterious third nipple

Immediate interest in Azriel (can you blame her, look at him)

Chapter 2:

”idgaf Azzy is down baddy in this series it’s been 12 hours in and he is gone baby” straight from A/N

Y/N has a group chat w/ Feyre and Mor tilted Hi, Barbie

Batboys are Adnois’ who live next to each other

Cas may have let Y/N move in to get appreciation sex from Mor

Y/N deserves an award for unknowingly being a wingwoman for Car

Az drives the moving truck back since Y/N almost got into 3 accidents (same girl same)

Cas is a loud roommate, sings hella loud in the morning (its Cas what do we expect)(snores like a chainsaw)

Cas is crap at karaoke 

Az a flirt, has Y/N’s license, asks her to smile so that he can say “There’s those dimples”

Az has a motorcycle, works on it on the regular

Az does see the messages of the barbie groupchat asking how hot he is in comparison to Chris Evans and Aragorn from LOTR after they drop the truck off and are on the way back to the apartment in Y/N’s car

Chapter 3:

Cas is a personal trainer, wrote his schedule on the fridge so that Y/N knows when he’d be gone

Dad calls, that ish went to voicemail

Feyre’s at work can’t hangout

Mor has an internship

Plans for axe throwing the next day (pin a photo of Y/N’s dad to the target)

Done unpacking, Clean apartment (and Cas’ sheets), and Grocery run for favorite meal (pasta)

Accidentally spills wine on self due to loud ad, proceeds to cook in her underwar

The day sucked, no more hiding though

Super Trouper by ABBA starts playing as the door opens, Y/N doesnt hear it until Rhys pauses her music as shes in the kitchen in her underwear

Rhys, Az, and Y/N just stare at each in silence until the pasta timer goes off (Az 100% staring hard)

Y/n goes to find pants while the boys drain her pasta

Rhys jokes that Cas is lucky if he gets to come home to the little show Y/N put on

Y/N invites the boys to dinner and hang out since she doesn’t wanna be alone

”Two hot dates for the evening” -Rhys

All watch Forest Gump (Y/N never saw the movie and didn't even make it halfway through the movie)

Az glares at Cas when he comes home cause Y/N is knocked out on his lap (Az gives bomb af head messages)

Cas: *eyebrow wiggle*

Az: *scowl*

Chapter 4:

Cas’ knee flares up if he does too much (his room is also messy AF and he keeps pads)

Pain meds are not with him, so they have to be with Az

Rhys and Cas had a pissing contest on who had the bigger tv and drunkenly bought tvs

Az is jacked

Az looking at our social media page (for Cassian’s safety)

Chapter 5:

Axe throwing with Feyre and the Bat Boys

Feyre and Rhys exchanging deets

Cas catches on that Y/N has the hots for Az (she plays it off that its Rhys…girl idk who you think you’re fooling)

Mor calls and is pouting cause we didn’t invite her out

The crew has dinner with Mor to make it up to her (and that she’s paying)

Cas: “the world is ending, who’re you sleeping with to save it?” Y/N: “Feyre cause shes a gentle lover”

Az has cold hands (okay Edward)

Az: Computer Science Major; Rhys: Double Major with business and engineering; Y/N: Biology Major

Az likes coding+Y/N hates coding=study buddies

Az trying to find any chance to schedule hang outs with Y/N

Az and Y/N exchange numbers

Chapter 6

Cas got a tramp stamp (blue candy heart that says babygirl) when he was blackout drunk the night of the axe throwing (only Y/N was there; she immediately tells Rhys and Az the next morning after she sobers up)

Y/N might low key be a bit jealous of Nesta being close with Az

Chapter 7

Mor set Y/N up on a date (off screen) was bad

Kept thinking about Az and Nesta’s “date”

Literally asked Az about his date with Nesta 

Elevator gets stuck, mini panic attack, but Az calmed her down

Az tells Y/N to stop being a people pleaser and stand up for herself (but in a nicer way)

Gets lunch with Az (who was picking lunch up for Cas)

First motorcycle ride

Chapter 8

Sandwich lunch date with Az 

 Azriel asks Y/N if she would go riding with him again and she said yes

Rhy’s dad is kinda in the picture (pays their rent, gave Rhys a credit and debit card, signed off on the bike for Az, gives Rhys extra money for going to family functions)

Dropped off Cas’ lunch (he was adamant that no one forgot about karaoke night)

No one else dressed up for themed karaoke except for Y/N and Cas (no one told Y/N)

Uber is not big enough for everyone, Y/N ends up sitting on Az’s lap, legs across Rhy’s lap and feet in Cas’ hands

Az and Y/N communicate through the notes app on the ride to Rita’s

Az holding Y/N in place (Y/N blushing cause girl I get it me too)

Mor ends up telling Feyre, Rhys, and Az that they have to dress up next time since none of them told Y/N that she didn’t need too

The girls end up on stage singing with Cas

Chapter 9

Az was EYEING Y/N last night and had a GRIP on her on the way home (homegirl was fucked)

Cas comes in and eats in the bathroom while Y/N is in the shower since he doesnt like eating alone

Cas ends up taking Y/Ns phone and goes to read the text Az sent her (and if he’s lucky, see some classy nudes) and send him a message (and delete said message)

Girls Night plus Cas

Feyre and Mor bombard Y/N with questions as to what is going on with her and Az

Cas was a spy and texted Rhy updates throughout the night

Chapter 10

Az is laying on the couch in Y/N and Cas’ apartment with a blanket and his tiny bat

Az told Y/N about his injuries on his hands

Both share an earbud and listen to My Love Mine All Mine but Mitski

THEY FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH TOGETHER

Cas catches them asleep on the couch

Chapter 11 

Y/N has a wet dream about Az…while sleeping on top of him

Class starts in 20 minutes and homegirl almost falls face-first into Az’s crotch

She kisses him on the forehead on her way out to class

Y/N tweezes Cas’ eyebrows

Mor not understanding that Y/N and Az slept together not slept together

Mor sets Y/N up on another date, she tries to say no but says yes since Mor said if it was bad then she won’t set her up every again

Chapter 12 

Mor helps Y/N get ready for her date

Y/N’s dad calls again

Mor drives Y/N to the date site

Its Mini golf (homegirl is wearing a mini black dress)

Y/N looks for her date in the blue shirt and finds Az (no surprise) in a blue shirt playing skee ball *queue spider man meme*

Both are checking each other out shamelessly

Az teaches her how to hit a golf ball 

Az borrowed Cas’ truck 

They makeout in Cas’ truck

End up getting ready to finish the date at Y/N apartment with pizza and movies (she ain’t that kinda gorl) (We all say Thank You Morrigan)

Chapter 13

Cas goes grocery shopping at Az and Rhys’ apartment

Fell asleep watching the Jurassic Park movies (nothing happened)

Y/N gives Az a sticker of a goose with a knife

They study together at a coffee shop so that they are free for the lakehouse trip 

They both decide to hide whatever they have from everyone on the lakehouse trip

Chapter 14.1

Rhys is a speed demon (driving 30 miles over the limit)

Cas and Mor drove separate from the group (probably to fuck)

Feyres bag may have been defiled by Mor and Cas 

Az and Y/n resort to texting each other (straight teasing each other at this point)

Az’s hand is on her thigh

They make it to the lakehouse, no sign of Cas on his GPS

Y/N learns more and Rhys’ and Az’s background

Rhys is having Y/N’s baby

Met up with Cas and Mor at Mama’s

Waitress takes a liking to Azriel which Cas teases him about

Y/N teases Az about the whole experience through text on the drive to the lakehouse, Az is flustered and read in the face

Y/N asks (texts) Az if he wants a girlfriend and he says he has someone in mind

You are an angel, a godsend. I’m gonna give you a little forehead smooch

[puckpocketed]

tag game! pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people (if you can)

thank u for the boop @maxkeplers <3 i WILL be flexing my listening range and overdoing the assignment (song blurbs!!!). additionally, all songs link to youtube + collected playlist at the end if anyone would like to listen to them all in one place :3

P - Perfect Blue by Macross 82-99. I used to stream my art years ago and one of my viewers linked some Macross, and I’ve never looked back. this is one of my faves from their discography. I hope that guy is doing okay!!

U - Uh Huh by TrippyThaKid. hehehe weed song . i confess this one’s on my ranked valorant hype playlist for when i need to Lock In <- duelist main (derogatory). the music video by itself is such a wonderful experience but also his flow is bizarrely sick and compelling to me <3

C - Cold Turkey by The Happy Fits. Everyone moved on from 2010s british alt rock but i’m still there and so are THF. theyre still releasing this type of stuff in the year of our lord!! there’s whimsy to them… they have a whistle only section in this song… u will have to pry this music from my cold dead fins…!!!!!!

K - Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer. i love rom coms so bad, and every time i listen to this song i am filled with the sweetest nostalgia <3 if you haven’t seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. please. it’s a batshit film about two deeply damaged people trying to play relationship chicken whilst torturing each other in an effort to get the other person to leave them. they simply do NOT make films like this anymore !!!

P - Pressure by Abhi The Nomad. he’s an Indian hip hop artist, he raps and sings and has this habit of slotting these gorgeous little electric guitar solos into his songs. there’s a pop twist to his music, and he collabs far and wide. this song is slow and buttery smooth and such a pleasure to listen to.

O - Oh Yeah! by Green Day. they’re still making music and it still fucking slaps and i will nevaaa move past my based punk KINGS.

C - Chocolate by Day6. alright so has anyone ever run into that problem of finding a song from an artist/band and it vibes with you hard and brings you joy and you go to check out their other music and it turns out the song you liked was some experimental B-side track and none of their other stuff is like that. well. this was me with this song except this song was a thing they wrote for the OST of a kdrama. i wish i was joking. </3

K - Karma Bonfire by Diablo Swing Orchestra. ill be real. this is theatre kid music. but its somehow not attached to a musical. it’s also got jazz and swing elements. yeah idk either.

E - Escape by Asta. just one of my faves. nothing smart to say i just love this.

T - The Dreamer by The Vaccines. this is not the first song from this album i’ve recommended. this is my album of the year. it’s about remembering a relationship, the end of it, the never-end of it. my favourite lyrics in this song are from the chorus, “I know the night has got two faces, there’s one that runs and one that chases, but if I caught you in between, then I would wait for you in dreams.”

E - Eternal Groove by Android52. what it says on the tin. i could listen to this on loop for hours. i have done so!

D - Dark Matter by Steve Vai. to round out our instrumental theme… Can we have him on a Hades 2 music dlc. pleek. steve vai i love uou <3 he writes music i would blast if i was condemned to running solo tank on a raid you know what i mean??

Here’s the whole thing on youtube in a handy playlist as promised! it’s not very coherent in terms of genre or vibes at all so caveat emptor BIGLY

tagging: @oensible <- if u find a way to include weezer i would simply perish from laughter. @em-ptynet @sevennone @brocksfaber @chownkie @mkaugust @larsnicklas @wheelsnipecelebrini as always no pressure to play!! and if you see this and would like to join in, consider yourself tagged 🫵💯🔥🔥🔥

[gretchensinister]

Babylon 5 rewatch, S1 E4: Infection

Oh 2 years of functionality (how fast did they build these Babylon stations? Were they all being build simultaneously?)

This guy talking to Franklin has the vibe of being in a completely different genre than everyone else

Oooh look at the very aesthetic beakers in the background in MedLab

Vorlon living ships mentioned!!!! (cat chattering sound)

Okay aside from the guy getting electrocuted, I'm now thinking about how the main hospital(?) is also being used as a research lab. I guess it makes sense, with Babylon 5's function it wouldn't have a separate research lab

Babylon 5 does have a big enough population to have a university, though, that would be cool

Very much a TV thing that 15 hours seems like a long time to find nothing when examining an alien artifact. There's very human artifacts that people have studied for years without coming to any definitive conclusions

...and none of those artifacts will merge with your body to make you into an alien cyborg weapon

Such a HUGELY alarming statement "I think it tried to assimilate Nelson" like that's a thing that happens

Yes, plot and peril--but I'm thinking now, was Garibaldi's "eh, fuck it" moment with the possible aphrodisiac/floor wax at the beginning supposed to be seen as a parallel with the ill-advised messing around/merging with the alien artifacts? It would be if *I* wrote it

I'm always down for the idea of purity turning out to be extremely bad

I have to like meditate away my issues with getting coherent information from a 1000 year old alien artifact that uses a dead alien language.

Nelson speaks English, so Tular is able to use Nelson's understanding for this conversation--IDK I'm desperately spitballing here.

This has a very Kirk-talking-the-enemy-to-death vibe. Also it's like I definitely get the point of the plot but I'm getting endlessly stuck on the translation issues. I've seen Arrival in the past 30 years I can't help it.

Nelson fucking LIVED through that?

Reminds me of Corporation Rim plots in the Murderbot Diaries world

Worth dying for/Worth living for theme spotted! This Will Continue

Do you ever just wish so fervently that a piece of science fiction had become irrelevant because human society had actually sorted its shit out...

[nereidprinc3ss]

I'm literally going insane I had a whole conversation with another spencer account on twitter about dybmn it was such a good experience

and part 7 was out for 8 HOURS I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT IR COMING OUT I FOUND OUT FROM A FUCKING TWEET ABOUT THIS GYAL GOING ON A DATE AT THE SAME TIME DYBMN CAMEOUT OH MY GODDDDDD like you don't understand how good of timing you released this at

1. freshly shaved just out of the shower cause im going fully blonde tomorrow

2. tucked comfortably in my sheets

3. Its gently raining outside

4. I go on twitter and find out my favorite writer released PART 7

Dude I'm not even joking when I say I screamed like I've been talking to my sister about this series for a week now and part 7 being edged and she was like why are you screaming did it come out yet

IR DIDNT DISAPPOINT AT ALL EITHER OMGGG YOU WRITE SPENCER SO BEAUTIFULLY AND SO TRUE TO HIS CHARACTER HES SO GENTLE AND SOFT AND PERFECT AND KIND AND I LOOVVEEE HIM! Like wtf do u mean he bit my shoulder to ground himself after he came that's literally the cutest thing fucking ever what the fucking hell oh my fucking god i fucking love him I think we need to put spencer Reid in my bed right now I think we need to tuck him into my sheets and lock the door what the hell

I'm going to shut up now because if I continue ill be babbling about each individual thing I love about how you write him and what he says like when he says angel girl JJFJDJSOSKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKK LORD HAVE MERCYYYYYYYY its 1:32 i have a hair appointment tomorrow i can't be screaming like this

In other words I love you so so much please never die I love ur works your so cool to me and U r literally my favorite writer ever. Thank you so much for blessing us with the dybmn series & i will never stop thinking about it i literally have dreams about it everytime i read/reread a part of the series that's partly why im so excited to sleep right now lolololo ily thank u for listening to me ramble with no shame

im so jealous that you have dybmn dreams😭😭😭😭😭 idk if i’ve EVER had a spencer reid dream but i did dream once that rossi made me a sandwich LMFAO anyway….

me and u have like the same favorite parts cause when EYE wrote the angel girl part i was literally biting my fist and screaming i need that so bad

and babe if i figure out a way to get spencer reid in my bed i will quickly send him to yours as well!!!!! i would tuck him in so good i would make him sleepy time tea 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏 NEED THAT

thank you so much for reading and sending me this ily and i hope your hair turned out well beautiful!!! mwah

[graceofgondor]

So. I need to know people better even if it’s just mutuals on Tumblr.

And I saw you wanted asks, so :)

1. What’s your favourite song(s)?

2. What’s your favourite film (apart from dps)?

3. You have a three hour car trip, and you can choose only one artist to listen to, who?

4. If you travel, what’s the best country you’ve been to?

5. What’s your favourite colour?

6. What’s your favourite album?

7. Who’s your favourite person in the world?

8. Do you prefer cats or dogs?

9. Who’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen?

10. Who’s your favourite fictional character?

hiii!! hope you are well. tysm for the ask <333

1. What’s your favourite song(s)?

omgggg this is so hard. i'll just name off a few as of late. the man who can't be moved - the script, jealous - nick jonas, silver springs - fleetwood mac, lover you should've come over - jeff buckley, fake plastic trees - radiohead, no. 1 party anthem - arctic monkeys, back to december - taylor swift, enchanted - taylor swift, out of the woods - taylor swift, the black dog - taylor swift.... you get it

2. What’s your favourite film (apart from dps)?

ahhh another tough question. i love the lord of the rings trilogy specifically two towers is my favorite <33 (the extended editions too ofc). i also love newsies (1992) unfortunately not a fan of the broadway but definitely an og film girl at heart. some others are the sound of music, true grit (2010), ford v ferrari, and stardust :))

3. You have a three hour car trip, and you can choose only one artist to listen to, who?

TAYLOR SWIFTTTT. ik its basic but idc loll.

4. If you travel, what’s the best country you’ve been to?

i want to travel so bad!! i've always wanted to go to europe and new zealand </3. the only place i've been besides the u.s. is canada haha which was lovely but not exactly super different.

5. What’s your favourite colour?

i love earth tones!! probably sage green is my favorite but i've been really into browns lately too.

6. What’s your favourite album?

again it's so hard to pick just one but one that always comes to mind is cleopatra by the lumineers. i also am really starting to love the tortured poets department by taylor swift (even though i've also loved all of her other albums ofc). andddd probably rumors by fleetwood mac is another one.

7. Who’s your favourite person in the world?

probably my irl best friend!! (who co-wrote my lady ginny btw chat)

8. Do you prefer cats or dogs?

cats cats cats. i like dogs but as i've gotten older i've discovered i vibe with cats more.

9. Who’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen?

HAH i'm inclined to say a multitude of celebrities but i think that's kind of superficial to say. i can't name one specific person honestly, beauty is not only subjective but ever evolving and complex beyond just appearances, so even if i chose one person now that could change by tomorrow.

10. Who’s your favourite fictional character?

gahhh idk. there's so many!! like songs and movies there's so many i like and the favorite changes all the time. i love legolas, faramir, and eowyn from lord of the rings, mattie ross from true grit, arthur morgan from rdr2, andddd maybe harry and hermione from harry potter?? and OF COURSE my dps faves: charlie, ginny, meeks, and pitts.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary436

12/3-4/24

tuesday - wednesday

writing this as my gf prepares for work.

another short one today. i did some more drawing which was nice, i think i basically just need the hands to be done, and then it'll be over... then i can go onto another attempt at getting better at all this, which is exciting for me.

i watched 2 movies today, one was occult, which was by koji shiraishi, who directed noroi as well. i wanted to see some j-horror stuff because i've been so into siren lately. here's a couple shots of funny things i saw in it:

i like how this was filmed at the time when there was a big ad for ugly betty up in shibuya. i've seen that before on some images i found on flickr which feels really funny, to see that and be like, oh wow, it's from then!!

equally entertaining is that psp monster hunter ad.

there were some shots that were actually really nice, the whole ending bit is also insane, maybe i could have grabbed those but these are funny to me in i guess a very narrow way.

i quite liked the film itself, it's not so scary really, but at a certain point you get a sinking feeling, and it feels so sudden, a couple times you feel very bad, you see people broken up over things, the film generally feels focused on a particular kind of poverty in japan and what happens to the people who live on the outside of the norm out there, who are headed towards homelessness and are unstable, it's a movie that wishes for kindness for people like that, as well as taking the cult-terrorist fears of the general public and using this man to examine that/prod at why people end up there. like noroi though, the text isn't so interesting as is its uncanny atmosphere, the way the world is rendered through the camera and all the 'supernatural' sightings of leeches flying through the sky. i really like that stuff, i like how cheap and strange it looks, it makes it more carnivalesque which ultimately extends / articulates the film's goals a little better, a miserable laugh at the end of poverty, a mania of a certain kind and a curiosity driven to standing on the side of grave injury, getting swept up in a strange brotherhood with a strange man.

that's one thing i thought about, eno, when he and shiraishi drop the formalities, and they bond in that way, and around when that happens eno becoming extremely agitated towards the only woman at the dinner table with them, and how she dies at the end. i keep thinking about that, and what i wrote about yesterday a bit, more that it's interesting that the film makes a point of this man being oddly misogynistic and pathetic, like he wants her but doesn't know how to be charming or nice even so he goes to attack her. excluded from being normal himself, he attacks her for being 'weird' and quiet, this makes me think of nekojiru's work, where she'd go to lengths to express how outsiders aren't somehow some kind of cure or solely good force in relation to the broader scope of society, rather they absorb all the same neuroses and use them maybe moreso to protect themselves, to never be in the wrong despite generally being seen as such (all of those judgments though, take place in a subconscious way).

anyhow, i quite liked that film.

the other film i watched i didn't like so much, videophobia, i picked it because it also seemed j-horror-y and it sorta was, it was also a movie that i picked because it seemed intensely related to what i was writing about last night here, it's about a woman who discovers revenge porn of herself on xvideos and then, as time goes on, loses it bit by bit and gets plastic surgery to become a new person so she doesn't have to live with the fear of being found out. it's an effort to meditate on how we have this massive industry and, i don't know if this is true, but in the film a woman says that global usage of 'that site' which one she means idk (i would imagine this is the figure of the one big one (if it's a real figure at all)), sits at around something like 5 million hours yearly or something? maybe a jump up to billion? i don't know. but something obscene like that. that was the best part of the film, when the woman says that to her, just this kind of cosmic terror at a figure that great, that it measures to an impossible amount of years, that it feels hopeless in the face of that basically. but idk, the rest of the film is just kind of flat. i dunno. i can't get as excited about the rest of it as i can about that little bit lodged in it. the film at points doesn't come off as leering or creepy or whatever, it just feels odd in how it handles her suffering. i don't know, i just don't know. and the music felt so wrong at points. but it felt interesting too, to see that idea meditated on, this woman really was sacrificed to this managed desire.

but now it's almost 7 am, i am super duper tired,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[emeritus-fuckers]

hello i was wondering if i could participate in the match up event?

I am afab and nb, I use any pronouns :) I'm cool with being any gender or being with any gender neither matters much to me

I lov the ghouls and their silly little shenanigans :)

I'm pretty feminine looking, I'm 5'1 and I'm built like a comic book male superhero like broad chest and shoulders but a straight line from the ribs down like a upside down dorito w legs

I'm asian so my eyes and hair are dark, my hair's like a shoulder-length wolf cut ish thing... idk I just hack at it. sometimes I wear glasses, but sometimes I just feel like being blind. When I get dressed I pretend like im dressing up in a fun little costume so my day is more whimsical and silly my go-to is like sailor uranus prince-type girl crush but a wizard or a wizard who is going on an epic expedition to recover lost artifacts but no matter the outfit the key is that I look like I'm secretly a merlin-style cartoonishly evil wizard. So i guess maybe like goth grunge academia something something pinterest buzzword Oh and I have major rbf, and it makes ppl scared of me

I'm an introverted person and I tend to be very logical but. I think different from a lot of ppl apparently. I've been described, to paraphrase, as "sort of ominous and mysterious but actually funny", "uncanny and unsettling in a good way", and "awkward and weird but its endearing" which just sound like insults. I like to live in my head and make silly stories and things to play with. Like every tumblr user I've got fucked up mental health and bad parents so I am kind of like one of those freaky ass chihuahuas that is always scared and shakes and bites people and has digestive issues. I tend to be hard to read or sort of deadpan so I like fucking w people since they can't tell if I'm joking bc i love mischeif and japes. I want to be a silly not-quite-supervillain like Dr doofinshmirtz or like a trickster archetype sort yk

I was a pretty intense synchronized swimmer for like 9 years I competed at like opens and nationals and all that when I was in school but my university doesn't have :( I'm on the rowing team now but I would rather do synchro esp since being my main thing was being flexible and it has no advantages in rowing lmaooo I've been a huge vocaloid fan since elementary school so I've been around in that community for a while (I am so well-adjusted). I like to make vocal synth covers and draw, especially when I'm able to work with producers to provide art for their vids it's so cool hehehehhe I mostly listen to vocaloid music but I like a lot of metal stuff as well that's how I found out abt gonst. I also like 2 play video gamez, I'm so fucking bad at them but I think it's rly funny so I just spend hours giggling and watching myself get mauled over and over.

I love horror a lot but I'm less a slasher girlie and more of a supernatural psychological tormet girlie esp if its got mythology or religions shit involved. Im majoring in history bc all good history ppl like silly metal and I wrote this instead of my abstract that's due in like an hour bc I have no idea what to do for the topic 🥲🥲

- the fuckin wizard

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is... Zephyr

They like listening to you talk about your major and interests. He's a very good listener.

While they might not be the best swimmer, they enjoy the activity and if you want to show off, they'll absolutely let you and be super proud.

He doesn't mind how unique your style is. He probably wouldn't really try to match clothes with you, but they'd try their best to buy you stuff you'd enjoy.

Since he doesn't really walk much, they picked up drawing and started doing it with you. They're surprisingly good at it for someone who just randomly said "I'm bored, maybe I should start drawing".

Also, horror movie date nights! They're also much more of a psychological horror person, but his favorite is of course the paranormal (he finds it hilarious) so you two take turns picking the movies.

Video game dates included, too. He's got a PS3 and the first three Uncharted games, as well as some others. Their favorite is Uncharted 3.

He'll insist you wear your glasses. He knows the consequences of ignoring his health. It's not fun.

~

Written by Nosferatu with the help of the wonderful and of @ask-zephyr-ghoul (ilysm pookie).

[not-souleaterpost]

ENTP CRONA DUMP

Not going back on my word, just forgot to post a dump of "ENTP Crona" stuff I planed to just post all at once in a year, but after trying to stop doing stuff like that, I just thought I post what I had and be done with it.

, the thing even I don't really find funny, but I think I have to do it to get it out and book end it. A lot of it isn't really funny, some of it may sound a bit edgy or abrasive, but it's just in good fun, still putting it under the "keep reading thing" because of the amount and shittyness of the "content" Enjoy or yeah...sorry

ENTP Crona experiencing a soul rejection, screaming in agony because of not being able to deal with figuring out if "video games are art" or "video games aren't art" is the more contrarian oppinion at the moment

ENTP Crona reading shizophrenia symptoms on google "Wow, he is literally me"

ENTP Crona fleeing into the desert, going down a hole to cry

Ragnarok "Wait, the cow already killed Medusa a year ago, why we doing this bitch shit again?"

ENTP Crona "I posted a deliberately controversial and edgy meme into the group chat again, when they all see it, I wont be able to deal with how angry everyone will be..."

Soul: "You cant just nonstop spam shit on the internet, people will think you don't have a life"

ENTP Crona: "But I kinda don't..."

Soul: "Still writting on every single subject for 10 hours straight must be tiring and exhaustive, take a break"

ENTP Crona: "But I wrote everything in the last 5 minutes

Soul: "Heh, dont like partys either? Guess reading the room can be stressful even for somebody as cool as me sometimes-"

ENTP Crona "No, I can read it just fine, just then choose to say the thing that sets the roof on fire and regret it five seconds later.

ENTP Crona trying to figure out if Maka subscribes to the theory that Holden is a child abuser himself in "The Catcher in the Rye", only if yes, to arguee that not even the creep teacher was one and it is a misreading, and its actually about idk, read it in school so cant even come up with an explantion.

ENTP Crona trying to cheer up a crying Maka, after she got made fun of for liking bad music by Soul

"No, I like Speeding bullet 2 heaven too! Well except the Beavis and Butthead skits, even I am not that contrarian"

ENTP Crona curled up in the corner of the dark dungeon, not able to face the world, cause liking Ringo Star is to mainstream now but changing to hating him is just too painful...

ENTP Crona after everyone gets confronted with their lives just being fiction

"Well actually I prefere the anime ending"

But after mostly everyone agrees

"But, actually the manga works in a certain way afterall-"

ENTP Crona during the anime only scene where Maka and Crona talk about Maka's mom - its the same scene lol, remember those 4th wall breaking snide comments Crona barely managed to not blabber out loud lol

ENTP Crona "Marvel movies were allways bad"

Marie "Oh you aren't dumb and incompetent!"

ENTP Crona "Why did it took me 8 hours to put together the IKEA table?"

Marie "Oh dont be to hard on yourself, screwing in the table legs upside down could happen to anybody!"

Maka confronting Medusa: I'm here to save ENTP Crona and Mary!

Medusa: Nah, they both are still stuck in the maze going in circles

ENTP Crona after a tourist asks for directions in Death City: "I'll be honest, even though I am living here for years now, I myself cant deal finding my home without google maps"

ENTP Crona "I'm the Joker, baby! (Jared Leto version)"

ENTP Crona "-oh so a glorbo, or smol bean, cinamon bun is a charachter like Paulie from the Sopranos!"

ENTP Crona after trying to read "Finnegans Wake" "Damn, thats how high I still have to climb..."

ENTP Crona watching X:RA "Wow, I actually get 90 percent of the wordplay! This show is great!"

MGMT Patty : "Time to pretend..."

*ENTP Crona visualising all the different ways to take out and kill the people around*

Ragnarok "And I thought I was the psychopath! We aren't even eating souls anymore, whats guipi wrong with you?

ENTP "Grocery shopping is boring and I thought about the 3 different storys I'll never write down enough for one hour..."

ENTP Crona "-and that's why the metodology that is used to diagnose diseases by only relying on a checklist of data points that may have many different origin points is flawed

Stein "I am the doctor with 10 years experience, take your antibiotics prescription and get out!"

Stein, litting a cigarete after ENTP Crona goes out after apologising "Damn, the kid may be right, shit..."

ENTP Crona be like "Actually, I think Epstein is still alive"

ENTP Crona "Yeah Myerrs brigs and Horrorscopes are the same... Because they both actually are describing something and aren't completly wrong, if you know you know...

ENTP Crona actually getting a tatoo even though it is a stupid thing to do in general, because thats the only way to remember Maka's birthday. Cause aint nobody remembering more than 4 digits...

ENTP Crona using all experience and time to reflect, to start a dramatic uplifting speech that leads into Maka defeating the Kishin with a punch- Ah wait thats just what happened in the anime again lol

ENTP Crona: "I wore a dress for most of my life, yet that is not as embarassing as riding on an electric scooter"

ENTP Crona "Oh ofcourse I'm to scatterbrained and lazy to actually finish a webcomic, that's why I included an in universe callout by a charachter, so I will stay motivated out of spite and want of being better than those, proving the mean pixels wrong!"

ENTP Crona: -the setting being the aftermath of a nuclear testing site is a brilliant synedoche of our society pre and post world war 2, how the atomic age is nearly unrecognisable, being both so much more advanced that previous incarnations do not even look human in retrospect, while exagerating ourselfs into cartoon versions of ourselfs do to paranoia and stereotypes, shared faster and faster, that we soak up like Sponges, being the perfect worker and consumer in one - in a way thats Rock Bottom, the breakdown of communication, only restored by recognising the humanity of the other, even if they look at us with even more potent disgust than we already do.

Maka: Wait, I thought these iceberg videos were just supposed to list of fun facts and triva about Spongebob

ENTP Crona: What gave you that idea, Maka?

TERF Maka: I STILL hate J K Rowling

EC: "Borat is racist-"

M: "No the joke is that he exposes the prejudices of the common american person-"

EC "against Kazakhstanis"

M: "No no- wait... you are right..."

EC: "If MF Ghost was with the culture, it would have used Phonk instead of Eurobeat"

EC: "Where the fuck is Marioh Judah?"

*EC annoys excalibur into quitting*

EC :"Im like prince, everybody thinks In gay but actually im homophobic-"

EC: "Non-cellular phones actually had their purpose - like if somebody called them, you would either know nobody is home, or the person who answered could either inform you where the one you are calling is if you didnt reach the person or just find them - also the fact it was in the same spot ment nobody lost it and could allways find it when needed and it never ran out of battery, also-"

M: "If you don't like the phonecase I gifted you just say so...

R: "Dude, dont we still use mirrors for comunication"

EC "Think Im constrained by the limitations of canons?"

TRAD Tsubaki "Well they didn't make a sign of the cross in the church, so they kinda deserved being slayn by Ragnarok..."

M "Hey you are looking down, everything ok?

EC "Thanks for caring, but the thing is, to explain it all, all the connections and reasons and evidence would make me just look more weird and whiny, and this all, including the fact that I cant even say why I cant say without being whiny and long winged is part of it...

EC "I used trouble not descending into negative loops of self pity and disgust with myself and the world... But then I just developed a hyperfixation on not-having-hyperfixations"

???? Death: IDK

EC *reading the bible* "It even predicted people obssesing over lolcows with the whole golden calf story, damn...

EC: Rip Kissinger

EC: Slouching? No, I'm just posture-divergent

EC: I do love myself - one has to love even their biggest enemy...

EC in the future:

M: Are you really ready for children?

EC: I accidentally watched a trailer for despicable me 4, and after hearing all the pandering 80s song and repetitive family hinjix humor I just thought "Oh, how cozy would this be to watch with my Kids and Wife!"

So yeah, I CAN deal with it

[firefromthegodspro]

Devlog Week 2: Characters, S. Links, and Troubles

Ahhh, man I love a schedule. IDK what Garfield was on about, Mondays feel great! Always feels nice to come to my blog and update on my GameJam progress! ...What do you mean its Tuesday?

Apologies for the late update! Work called me in, so I wasn't able to finish up the stuff I needed to for today. In exchange, have this nice image.

So, first thing's first: characters! I have the main cast all done, but in the nature of being a tease, I'm only showing off two.

First up: meet Vega! She might be our protagonist of the hour, but she's far from silent. She attends Messier as one of the multiple students from the so-called "Modern World." As you meet the colorful cast of characters alongside her and watch as they open themselves up, you might just find her doing the same...

BTW, Vega is her family name. You'll get to input whatever given name you desire for her.

Next up: Lorelei! A fellow Messier student a year above Vega! Warm, inviting, and friendly! She's an easy-to-talk-to gal from a rather well-off family in the country's capital. But are there depths that she hides deep within?

Nah, prolly just overthinking it.

Next, good news and bad news.

For the bad news first, while I planned to have my spells mostly done by now, I... didn't get to it sadly. It is the next thing I am working on, though. The initial thing that stalled me was the fact I am a very simple simple man and complex maths like "Damage Formulas" makes my brain hurt. Thankfully YouTube exists, so I can educate myself.

Speaking of, I'm educating myself on Damage and Stat balance! It's kinda my big hurdle here, especially in a video game where numbers tend to be bigger than the TTRPGs I play. But if all goes well I should have that squared away soon!

In good news, I have a priority list made! Up until now, I've been approaching development from a shotgun perspective. I've realized this is stupid for a bit, but only now have I kicked my butt into gear and wrote one up. Sadly, it means some stuff I initially wrote down won't make it into the submitted project. Fortunately, I can always continue development later beyond the game jam (if people like it, of course).

Last on the Docket: Social Links.

Or as I'm calling them: Constellations.

Characters you meet (and everyone in the party) will be represented by a "Constellation." As you and Vega get closer to people and solidify your bonds, their Constellation will slowly fill out. No pictures yet, but I will say all the important ones are done.

And that's all! It might seem like I haven't made as much progress as I should have considering the due date is July 9th...

Yeah, that's the end of that thought.

But, hey, I banged out a Term Paper overnight once. As the deadline approaches, my ability to neglect sleep for project work shall rise too. I'm certain I'll be able to get something done for it!

Love and Peace!

-Fire