#i wrote this in a way where you can either choose that it was sakura's doing or she had just as little an idea as to what happened lol

[oc-lootcrate]

@hana-akari​ LIKED for a starter !!

It wasn’t often that the Iwa-nin was stunned into silence, Kyoko always having some kind of sharp retort ready and waiting right on the tip of her tongue, however, considering the circumstances, the most she could feasibly muster was hushed nonsense at the scene she’d been greeted with on her journey to Konohagakure. The sight of an area that one could only imagine what truly took place, a large crater left in the earth right in the center of what was now a clearing, the nearby trees to said dent having cracked and toppled over leaving a huge mess behind.

❝What in the world?❞ This was the most coherent thing that Kyoko was able to get out, hand reaching up to hold onto one of the straps on her backpack while the other pushed stray hairs away from her face. ❝Who... what in the world... did this?❞

She wouldn’t be surprised if it had been a someone rather than a something, but there was another part of her that wondered what type of person exactly could do this much damage. Kyoko herself was just your run-of-the-mill shinobi, not one of those people known for their godlike abilities or insane jutsu, not to mention she herself had never come across someone who is like that, she she would be lying if she said she knew what happened.

Kyoko finally seemed to come to her senses as she frantically took a look around her, trying to see if there was anyone around; if whoever or whatever was still around the area, there wasn’t exactly much stopping them from coming and killing her off. Taking her quick look around, the only sign of life she saw was that of someone in the distance with pink hair that reminded Kyoko of cherry blossoms, said person steadily getting closer to her rather than further away. Kyoko would either get the answers that she seeks, or she’d have a fight she was too slow to avoid.

[sneezemonster15]

I am new to Naruto fandom. Even newer to SNS fandom. I observed the shipping wars, and frankly, participated in it a couple of times. Just to see what it's all about. And I have come to one conclusion.

It's bonkers how far one will go to convince oneself about one's shipping whether it makes sense or not. At the end of the day, it becomes not really about the content itself, but one's comprehension and understanding of content. Which helps me understand why SS, NH, or NS stans exist. Their projection (which it certainly is) almost seems delusional and definitely inconsistent with the content itself.

When I first started watching Naruto, I wasn't aware of Naruto fandom. I am a cinephile and I am used to analysing content involuntarily while I am watching it. I wasn't expecting much from Naruto, I definitely underestimated it and wasn't expecting any emotional impact given it was shonen and I am very hard to please (yes, I am a film elitist). But as I kept watching it, I had to grudgingly change my opinion. By the time I reached Shippuden, I could tell that I was almost fevered with excitement and looking forward to more emotional impact.

I didn't watch it with any romantic lens, I was mostly interested in the fighting sequences initially. Hell, that's all I was expecting from a shonen show about ninjas. But at the end of vote 1, I was like, hmmm. What?? This was so emotionally wracking. Are they really just rivals, or friends? Now, I am a fully fledged cinephile and have watched a lot (a. Lot.) of LGBTQ films, given my interest in shows about emotional and sexual repression. And throughout my first watch of the first part, I kept picking up on the subtle sns moments without actively thinking about them. I was really into the story and wanted to see what will happen next. But at the end of vote 1, I had to stop and think, wait what, are they in love with each other? They are definitely not just friends. Or rivals. The language of their interaction in vote 1 is so fraught with underlying currents of repressed emotions that it just made the cinephile in me ask, what am I watching exactly? Like isn't it shonen (I am also relatively new to anime/manga) where gay relationships are a strict nono? Like why does it have all the tropes of repressed homosexuality in men, just like all the films I had seen. The way Naruto and Sasuke constantly gravitate to each other, their interactions at times feel like a borderline attempt at just staying close to each other, their violent, strong feelings and devotion for each other (land of waves arc) and then denial of those feelings (after the land of waves arc), their contant physical fights for no apparent reason, Sasuke goading Naruto for no apparent reason especially when Sasuke is not the type to talk without reason which had been made abundantly clear. Sometimes, it literally felt like he was flirting with Naruto (during the chuunin exams) while rejecting Sakura. Sasuke constantly appears to be caring and attentive towards Naruto while treating Sakura like trash. This was even acknowledged by Naruto who asks Sasuke to be nicer to Sakura. But Sasuke doesn't even think about it. He instead flirts (?) with Naruto. It made me think, why did the writer choose to do that? Why make it clear that in hierarchy, Sasuke keeps Naruto much higher than Sakura, so early in the show (when there hasn't been so much development either, we were mostly shown how they keep fighting and arguing with each other)? If they are supposed to just be comrades or friends, why pinpoint this? Why use this trope at all if it's about friendship, especially in a show that can't include a gay relationship.

And this kept happening consistently. The writer made the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto to be major turning points in the plot. Vote 1 fight made it clear to me that there was something more going on, but I didn't want to be presumptuous, so I kept it on the side and kept watching.

After watching Shippuden, I was convinced that none of it, was accidental. The writer painstakingly wrote a gay love story and was even obvious about it in a very clever way. Like he fucking got away with writing a gay love story in shonen. I know Naruto is basically a kids' show meant for entertainment purposes, but it touched so many important, dark and adult themes. I knew that it would be difficult for the writer to actually give a proper conclusion to these themes because they really aren't that black and white or even appropriate for children. So I wasn't surprised that he couldn't actually show peace being achieved after the war arc or slavery abolished in Hyuuga clan.

But one thing I was sure of. He wanted to show a gay love story, maybe out of a twisted sense of humor, I don't know. But that's what he did. He could not have made it clearer. He flagrantly used all the related tropes, visuals, sound, dialogues, hell the story. The fucking story...

He was so shrewd about it too. He made it so that people can take away whatever they wanted to take away from it as long as there was some plausible deniability about things that weren't made clear in the show itself. That fucking minx! But he knew that anyone who watches shit carefully, will be able to see what he actually did. He knew that at least some of us will be able to connect the dots. He went out of his way to make sure we connect the dots. There is no other way to explain why Sasuke repeatedly kept asking Naruto why he cared for him so much. There's no other way to explain why he concluded everything with the dialogue where Naruto explains that he hurts when Sasuke does. There's no other way to explain why that affected Sasuke to such an extent. Kishimoto went out of his way, like seriously, to tell the audience that they are Not just 'friends'. He basically used this friend thing with so much saturation and intent in such a twisted way that he made it into something else entirely. In that sense, the concept of 'friend' changed its meaning. Like you can try, but you can't change my mind about it.

Whether I approve it or not, but my takeaway from content depends mostly on the content itself. I do believe that more often than not, the simplest explanation is the right one. And this applies to the phenomenon of Naruto as well. Of course, as a viewer, I can't ignore that my suspension of belief relies on my own understanding of the external world and how I perceive visual language. But that is something that happens anyway, in tandem with consuming the content, while I was pretty much consistently objective about it.

I believe I have a pretty good understanding of how cinematic language works, and I know every creative or narrative choice has a reason and meaning behind it. Absolutely None of it is random. Cinematic language may not be universal in terms of styles, but all the styles definitely have a common ground. And any creator worth his salt knows it, he knows how his content will be perceived and what it is exactly that he wants to show or say. Do not delude yourself that it was accidental or on a whim.

I know for a fact that Kishomoto wanted to show a gay love story. I know for a fact that he wanted to show that Sasuke has feelings for Naruto and he knows it. He also wanted to show that Sasuke not only had feelings for Naruto but also knew that he couldn't show them openly. He wanted to show that Naruto has feelings for Sasuke as well but is confused and naive, like he is about so many other things. He wanted to show us that Sasuke is not into Sakura, that he doesn't even respect her. Any enthusiast of visual/cinematic language and narrative can tell all the above things without going into headcanon or deluded explanations (like SS, NH stans), with just on the basis of content they consumed.

At the end of the day, I don't ship SNS because it's in my head. I was forced to see and believe SNS by the creator. Not forced literally but forced to notice and acknowledge the emphasis and meaning of the twisted/manipulative ways of the creator.

Kishimoto, hats off to you, you sly bastard. You succeeded in trolling people endlessly, you had a lot of fun pitting people against each other, didn't you? Hahahahaha. Well, I call your bluff/or non bluff in this case since you obviously knew what you were doing.

[zenonaa]

'The smart thing would have been for Touko to retire to her room. Anyone could wear the mask of a handsome man, even a monster. Instead, she found herself following him, spurred on by her own curiosity, not only about what he offered to tell her but why he wanted to tell her something potentially so important. As she walked, she felt extra conscious of the holster of scissors hugging her thigh. Throughout her life, she had met many monsters that wore fake faces, but with Byakuya, she felt sure he didn’t wield a mask hiding his true self.

It was a gut instinct. No. Not gut. Her heart told her this.'

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya Characters: Fukawa Touko, Togami Byakuya Additional Tags: Togafuka Week, talent swap Summary: Talent Swap AU! Togami and Fukawa bump into each other and discuss what motive Monobear would need to provide to push them to murder. Also there may or may not be smooching.

Comments: A (late) Day 5 for TogaFuka Week - Swap! Takes place in the universe from this fic I wrote in 2016. When I was a more optimistic Livi, I wanted to write a multichapter fic for this talent swap.

💗 Please like, share and comment if you enjoyed it! 💗

***

Ten students remained.

As Touko Fukawa sat at her desk, twirling a pen between her fingers, she passed over their corpses. She stepped over Yasuhiro and Kiyotaka. Skipped around Hifumi and Chihiro. Hopped across Sakura and Celes. Of course, she wasn’t really maneuvering around them. Her dorm obtained no bodies. In reality, they were tucked away wherever Monobear dragged them to once it had finished with them. What had been described was figurative, as could be found in a passage from a literary novel.

Not that Touko was a published author. The title of Super High School Level Writer belonged to her classmate, Byakuya Togami. Touko Fukawa was the Super High School Level Heir, not that her title was anything to scoff at. Already she had earned billions of yen, and she had survived more attempts on her life than anyone else here. Except perhaps Sakura, the Super High School Level Soldier. But she was dead so she didn’t count.

Other than Sakura, Kyouko was also likely to have fought off death, and Touko wondered whether the Fighter had participated in any deadly battles. Whether she had inflicted such pain onto others. Whether she had ever murdered an opponent before arriving at this school.

Touko had. Killed people.

Not in the way her alter had, puncturing the veins and lungs of corrupt businessmen, of perverts, of half-siblings, always with scissors, always with a signature written in the victim’s blood nearby. No, Touko didn’t need to do that. With victims working for other corporations, she struck them bankrupt. In her conglomerate, she confiscated jobs, leaving victims to drown in their desperation as they tried to stay afloat. She exposed fraud, blackmail attempts, human trafficking, and with nowhere for her victims’ darkness to hide, they withered in the light.

Memories dug into her skin like termites. Tasting bile, she looked up from her desk. The walls of her room lurched toward Touko before reeling back into place. If she stayed here any longer, the room would close its jaws and crush her to pieces. She stood up, her chair shunting backward with a grunt, and marched to the door.

Ahead of her lay a silent corridor. Most of the others were probably sleeping by this time. Touko stayed on guard as she wrapped her arms around herself and started plodding along with no particular destination in mind. The cafeteria would be shut, so she couldn’t acquire a cup of tea to try to soothe her jittering nerves from there. While she had glimpsed a box of teabags in the storage room a few days ago while searching for some towels, she still had no way to heat them up.

Then she remembered she had also spotted some chocolate in there, and chocolate was supposed to be able to help calm a person down. That was better than nothing.

Touko quickened her pace, moving with more purpose now. Maybe she was being reckless. Six of them had been slain and another motive dangled over their heads. Someone would surely attempt murder for what Monobear had on offer. Not her, but someone else would. All Touko had to do was ensure she wasn’t the victim.

By the time she entered the storage room, she hadn’t seen Monobear nor any other students. The idea of returning to her room, where the only sounds would be her own thoughts, made her stomach roll, so she decided to eat her chocolate in the library. Reading about another’s life ought to distract her from her own. Grabbing two bars, she left, and she soon arrived at the library. She managed a few paces forward before she heard rustling, turning her blood to ice, freezing her, rendering her immobile.

Moments later, Byakuya Togami emerged from behind a bookcase. His presence in the library wasn’t shocking in and of itself. He was the Super High School Level Writer and an avid reader. Touko just hadn’t expected him to be here so late. Though she had seen him here during the evenings, she usually stayed in her room after the nighttime announcement so never saw him in here after that. She would have thought he would have kept to his room at this hour, especially when one took into account the latest motive to murder.

“Which one are you?” he asked her. When she entered, she hadn’t made much noise - at least, she thought she hadn’t, but Byakuya seemed to have homed in on her as soon as she came in. “The abhorrent admirer, or the creepy loner girl?”

“I’m Touko Fukawa,” she replied.

“The latter then.”

She stayed where she was, and he stayed where he was.

“Have you come to murder me?” he asked. “Or is this just a regular stalker with a crush behaviour?”

Touko squeaked and shook her head. Her cheeks burned. “I... I came here to read, that’s all.”

“You’re rather jittery. Does my presence unsettle you? Do you believe that I intend to murder you?”

A gasp cracked in her throat. He sighed and pushed up his glasses.

“Compose yourself. I will not harm you right now. I intend to be the last man standing. The survivor who confronts and defeats the monster at the end.” Byakuya’s brow furrowed, his face darkening. “I refuse to yield to the pressure that Monobear tries to inflict on us.”

“... is that it?” Touko asked, her voice a pinprick. “You don’t plan on murdering anyone because two students will be allowed to leave? It ruins your envisioned ending?”

That was the motive. For the next murder, if the perpentrator was not voted out in their victim’s trial, they were allowed to choose another student to graduate with them.

“Not quite. I couldn’t care less if another escaped with me.” The bitter twist of his lips morphed into a smirk. “It’s simply too early for this to end. The plot has barely reached the halfway point.”

Even with such a wicked expression, he was still handsome. Touko’s heart raced watching him. By now, the chocolate bars in her hands had crumbled from the pressure of her fists. Not that it mattered, because her insides were writhing too much for her to keep any food down. She shifted her weight between feet.

“You don’t have to believe me,” he told her. He cocked his head to one side, his gaze as sharp as a knife. “I do wonder about you, though.”

“Even if I wanted to kill anyone, I couldn’t,” she said. “Everyone knows about my alter, so I would be the first person to be heavily scrutinised and suspected.”

His stare embedded deeper.

“Still. I must be on my guard. Your alter may wish to seek revenge on me for revealing her identity,” said Byakuya.

Touko hunched her shoulders. She should have hated Byakuya for announcing her secret in the last trial, even if the alternative was being framed by Hifumi and dying. After all, when a person shoved another out of a window on the top floor of a blazing building, the fall still left bruises.

And yet the sight of him still filled her chest with butterflies.

“My alter wants to survive as much as any of us,” said Touko.

“None of the motives so far seem to have impelled either of us to murder,” remarked Byakuya. “Not money... not the paranoia of another owning one of our secrets... not being forced to sleep in the same room, in the same clothes, and abide by the same rigid routine everyday.”

He trailed off. She didn’t offer a word to the silence, waiting to see what he was getting at, if anything.

“Tell me, what would drive you to murder?” he asked her.

“I told you - ���

“ - that you’re always going to be a suspect because of Genocider Syo,” he interrupted with a flap of his hand. “You already said. But is there nothing that Monobear can do to force your hand?”

Touko edged back a step, eyeing him. She found it hard to tell if the fluttering inside of her was still attraction, or fear. “What are you? The m-mastermind?”

He smirked. “That would be a twist, but no. Curiosity.”

“There is nothing that Monobear could offer me,” she said firmly, even if her legs were trembling. To counteract that, she clenched her legs together and further mutilated the chocolate bars in her tightening fists. “What about you? What would push you to murder?”

The glimmer in his eyes disappeared as he glanced away. “This isn’t the best location to discuss this. Monobear may be listening in.” He returned his gaze to her. “How about we continue this conversation elsewhere? The locker room by the baths will provide sufficient privacy.”

She was still processing his offer when he strode toward her. She stiffened. Didn’t breathe. He paused next to her.

“You may stay here, or hurry back to your room if you desire,” he said. “Should you wish to indulge me in more conversation, however, you know where I will be. I shall be there for the next hour, with an answer to your question.”

Touko stood motionlessly as she listened to Byakuya’s receding footsteps. The smart thing would have been for Touko to retire to her room. Anyone could wear the mask of a handsome man, even a monster. Instead, she found herself following him, spurred on by her own curiosity, not only about what he offered to tell her but why he wanted to tell her something potentially so important. As she walked, she felt extra conscious of the holster of scissors hugging her thigh. Throughout her life, she had met many monsters that wore fake faces, but with Byakuya, she felt sure he didn’t wield a mask hiding his true self.

It was a gut instinct. No. Not gut. Her heart told her this.

They arrived at the locker room together, slipping past the noren curtain.

“So what about you?” asked Touko once both were well inside. She had thrown away the chocolates on the way there and could now fidget her hands together. “What could convince you to deviate from your plot outline?”

He was already standing near Touko, but he took a step toward her, approaching like the swell of an oncoming wave.

“Perhaps,” he said, dragging up his glasses, then hers, “a love interest.”

Her breath caught in her throat. Byakuya dipped his head, drawing closer and closer. Touko could have pushed him away. Kicked him between the legs. But she didn’t. She didn’t want to. As their lips pressed together, and his hands rested against her upper arms, her heels creaked away from the ground and her hands latched onto his waist.

Byakuya withdrew first. Touko wobbled for a moment, feeling light-headed. Even though he had initiated the kiss, she still expected him to grimace and swipe the back of his hand across his mouth. He scraped his teeth lightly against his lips, wetting them. Tasting. Then he made eye contact again.

“Hm? Are you suffering from post-kiss catatonia?” he asked. She stirred, the fog in her head not yet fully cleared.

“I’m s-surprised.”

“That is what is known as a test kiss.”

Touko squinted. “Test kiss?”

“It’s a trope that means... I am testing to see if you would partner with me in murdering one of our classmates.”

Her head jerked back. “W-What?”

He held out his hand toward her.

“Would you commit murder with me, Touko Fukawa?” he asked like a marriage proposal. Touko’s eyes flickered.

“I...”

She didn’t finish her sentence. His fingers curled into his hand before retreating, coming to rest on his hip.

“It doesn’t matter. As I told you, I have no intention of murdering yet. This was really a test to see if you could be recruited for murder. Though as you have said, due to your alter, you are by default a prime suspect.”

A test. There was always some kind of catch. Touko nodded, gazing down at her feet. She should have hated him.

“That’s all,” he said. “You are dismissed.”

The room hummed.

“Goodbye, Fukawa,” he said. “Go to your room now.”

Touko turned away and trudged out. With her back to him, she didn’t see him bring his hand to his lips, not to wipe his mouth, but as if he could still feel the kiss lingering.

She should have hated him.

And yet... she was smiling as bright as a butterfly.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Know Better | Sasuke Uchiha

✦ pairing — Sasuke Uchiha x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 7.7k

✦ Fake Dating & Modern AU

✦ request — I saw you write for Sasuke. I wanted to know if you can write something where he isn’t happy dating Sakura so he breaks up with her and recruits ps reader to fake date so Sakura doesn’t bother him anymore and reader wants to get rid of Shikamaru so she says yes and they fall in love while faking? something smutty at the end maybe? You can make it modern if you want

✦ warnings — light jealousy, mentions of food and alcohol, drama, nsfw, smut, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), fluff.

✦ a/n — is it too obvious that it was raining when I wrote this?

════════════════════════

A sudden thunder startled you, prompting you to look at the clock. It was almost time for you to leave the coffee shop. Hoping you could get home before the rainstorm hit, you hurried up.

You had to swallow a groan when you heard the front door open. You hated that damn bell. Lifting your head to take the order, you were greeted by a huff.

“I thought you would be on your way out already,” Sasuke stated blandly.

“My shift is over in ten minutes.” You made a pause, waiting for him to speak. When he only stared back, you asked, “Are you going to order?”

He shook his head. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

Not having a single clue as to why he would wait for you, and honestly not caring too much about it, you went on with the clean-up.

Sasuke and you were as close friends as two busy people could be. You didn’t share many classes, and he spent most of his free time with Sakura. Your free time was different than his, working and studying at the same left you with a small window of opportunities to enjoy yourself.

There was also the fact that busy or not, you avoided parties like the plague.

Sasuke was still outside when you were finally done, waiting for you with his arms crossed.

Upon seeing you, he made a gesture with his head for you to walk with him. Looking up at the sky, you shrugged, you wouldn’t make it home dry either way.

“So...” you trailed off, uncomfortable by his silence. You were used to it, yet there was something off-putting in his pace.

He halted his steps, taking his keys out. Unlocking the car, Sasuke opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

You wouldn’t say no to keeping yourself from getting soaked by the coming rain. Sliding your backpack off your shoulders, you got into the car, fitting the bag between your knees.

“Dinner?”

Putting the seatbelt on, you tilted your head to read his expression. You found a neutral one, which you should have expected. “Uh... sure.”

Humming, he ignited the engine.

Gripping the handle, you breathed in and out a couple of times, thinking he would be a reckless driver.

Sasuke wasn’t a careful driver by any means, he just wasn’t as extreme as one would imagine. Still, you were relieved when it was over.

He chose the table farther away from the other people at the diner, side-eyeing you to make sure. So unlike him.

“Is there a particular reason why we’re hanging out on a Friday night?”

He rested his back against the back of the chair. “Can’t I hang out with a friend because I’m nice?”

“... no?”

“I need your help,” he admitted through his teeth.

You took a sip of your beverage. “What’s up?”

“I need you to be my girlfriend.” Seeing your weirded out expression, Sasuke clarified, “Fake girlfriend.”

“People don’t need partners, and you have a girlfriend already.”

“Not since a couple of weeks ago.”

For someone who had just broken up with their high school sweetheart, he was way too calm.

He added, “I told her I liked you.”

“Why the hell would you say that?”

He shrugged. “It was the first thing that came to mind, but she keeps saying we can make it work.”

Now Sakura’s attitude towards you was starting to make sense. You had never been friends, but you considered her an acquaintance — she often visited Hinata, and the past weeks hadn’t been the exception.

However, she had stopped greeting you and when you passed the living room on your way to your bedroom she would glare at you. It was hard to blame her when her now ex-boyfriend had been such an asshole.

“Well, tell her I rejected you or something.”

“I’m sure Shikamaru would love to hear that.”

You tensed at Shikamaru’s mention.

Everyone said you should’ve been flattered, and you were at first. He was sweet and attentive, so interested in you that he had told you to take as much time as you needed. In your head, falling for him wouldn’t be too hard if you got to know him.

But he misread your intentions, and after the first date, he got overbearing.

Hinata found it extremely romantic, and Ino bluntly told you to be realistic because finding a guy as nice as him would be hard later on.

What bothered you the most was the tone in which your friends spoke as if this was your only chance to find someone who would like you. Their intentions might have been pure, but the implications behind their comments hurt.

Clearing your throat, you licked your bottom lip. “For how long?”

“Until they get the hint.”

Entering a relationship out of nowhere sounder more like a slap on the face than a hint. Sasuke had never been subtle, though.

The rain had intensified by the time you came out of the restaurant.

Sasuke drove more carefully this time, frustrated to no end due to the traffic but more carefully.

The moment he parked, he stopped you from getting out of the car, holding your forearm. “Invite me in.”

“Why?”

“It’s raining and you don’t want me to get in an accident.”

“Who said that?”

He glared at you. Glaring back, you waited for a good explanation which he didn’t seem to have. He was just being petty, nothing new.

Defeated, you let out a sigh. “Hurry up, then.”

He bolted out of the car, grimacing as the water fell onto him. You walked past him, greeting the security guard of the building as you brushed water off your eyes.

Sasuke was beside you in seconds to eventually follow you into the elevator.

“Give me that.” He took your backpack off your grasp before you could swing it over your shoulder.

Protesting would have been a waste of time. You were tired.

Struggling to take your keys out of your jean pocket, inwardly chastising yourself for still giving those tiny things use, you found yourself hoping he wouldn’t mock you.

He didn’t. He stood still, silently, only shifting when the doors opened and one of your neighbors entered the elevator.

Finally, after two more stops, you arrived at your floor. You didn’t mind how tall the building was, nor the fact that Hinata had chosen the second to highest floor — the only thing you found bothersome were the constant stops at the elevator; the stairs were a nightmare too, and your shoes were wet.

Sliding the key in, you felt his hand on your back, encouraging you to open the door. He must have known Sakura was there. It was kind of fucked up, honestly.

“You had me worr—“ Hinata cut herself off, blinking rapidly to hide her shock.

Trying your hardest to avoid looking at Sakura, you focused on Hinata’s worried face. “Sorry, I should’ve told you I would be late.”

He greeted Hinata and Sakura with a nod, sliding the hand on your back up to your shoulder only to place his free one on your other shoulder too, hoping you would get the hint.

You felt his touch get lighter as you made your way toward your bedroom until you let him get in first and he got his hands off you.

Sasuke put your backpack down, resting it against the foot of the bed. You closed the door, watching him curiously look around.

He had never been there. You hadn’t started living with Hinata until a couple of months ago when she told you she was looking for a roommate.

Sasuke had visited your family’s home dozens of times, mostly in middle school and the first year of high school, back when he was more abrasive. Your mom often said he found refugee in your room because you never forced him to speak.

But your mom had been wrong many times. Unconsciously, you shook your head. You were only upsetting your own self thinking about times that would never come back. She had left years ago.

The voices in the living room mingled with the sounds of the rain, you caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Your name was mentioned once, but you didn’t get the context. Not that you needed it.

Your opinions of Sakura weren’t strong, you didn’t dislike her at all but that wasn’t saying much when you didn’t really know her. From what you had heard, which varied depending on who was talking, she wasn’t so bad.

She probably hated you now so caring would be stressing yourself over things you couldn’t fix.

“Why didn’t you choose someone else? Many people would happily do it.”

“They would be annoying.”

Wow. That was almost a compliment.

To be fair, he seemed to attract overbearing people who didn’t get no for an answer.

And now you would also have to put up with those people. Or maybe not, he was way more popular around campus than you were and this wasn’t high school anymore.

He yawned, squeezing his eyes shut to then immediately open them and blink rapidly.

“You can lay down if you’re tired,” you assured him.

“I don’t like cuddling.”

“I didn’t ask you to cuddle me nor intended to cuddle you.”

“Ah.” He rubbed the back of his head, avoiding to look at your face. “The rain is slowing down either way.”

It sounded like it was. Urging him to go before the rain got worse would surely be rude, then again, he didn’t seem to take offense over most things.

You didn’t have to tell him. He pushed himself up, staring at you. You only stared back, assuming he would say something.

He dropped his hand onto the doorknob, twisting it and pulling the door open. You followed him toward the front door, somewhat confused.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said lowly, still audible to Hinata and Sakura.

You nodded. “Be safe, yeah?”

Humming, he got closer to you. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

Breathily, aware of his body heat as it felt like it was burning your skin, you told him, “Please.”

Sasuke placed his lips on yours, giving you a short kiss — so short you weren’t able to kiss his soft lips back.

He left without saying goodbye to Hinata and Sakura. The gesture, or lack thereof, made you more uncomfortable than it should have.

Sakura’s eyes, full of hurt and resentment, weren’t what made you feel bad — Hinata’s disappointed face did.

════════════════════════

Going out to the movies with friends was better as a mere concept than in practice. Hinata said it would be fun, that they had waited for you to be free to finally see that movie.

You weren’t close to most of the group, they were all nice in their own way, you supposed, but the truth was you had never clicked with anyone but Hinata and Ino.

Hinata came to a halt in front of Naruto and Shikamaru, arm linked with yours as she smiled at her boyfriend and friend. You greeted them too, trying to take your arm off Hinata’s grasp.

“We can have a double date now,” Naruto said teasingly.

“We wouldn’t want Shikamaru to feel like a third wheel.”

As usual, after one of your remarks, Naruto pouted at you while Shikamaru let out a loud sigh. You almost felt bad because this time the quip was true.

An arm wrapped around your upper back, tugging you to the other side. Hinata finally let your arm go.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sasuke apologized, lips brushing your temple as he explained to you that Itachi had made him lose time.

As he left a kiss on your temple, you angled your head to take a look at him. The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a millisecond.

Naruto, being Naruto, couldn’t stop himself from loudly asking, “Am I missing something?”

“It’s pretty obvious,” Sasuke deadpanned, “so no, you are not.”

You didn’t look at any of your companions. Hinata hadn’t said anything to you the night before after Sakura left, and while you were getting ready she avoided the topic purposefully.

Feeling smaller than you were, you leaned onto Sasuke before thinking what you were doing. His arm draped over your shoulder as he slid his forearm up to the back of your neck, bringing you slightly closer.

Silence lingered between the group.

“Should we buy the tickets and wait for the others there?” Hinata tried to ease the tension.

Her attempts were in vain. Naruto failed to hide his shock when Sasuke said the two of you would buy the snacks. And no one would ever think he was at fault when the last time Sasuke had been openly attentive had been when he took Kiba to the hospital after breaking his nose with a football.

With Sasuke at your left and Shikamaru at your right, you found yourself wishing the film was over already. It hadn’t even started yet.

“Oh.”

You didn’t have to turn to the side to know the one who had shrieked was Sakura who was accompanied by Ino. One of them stepped on your foot, prompting Sakura to feign an apologetic tone when you let a sound close to a whine escape as she sat down sandwiched between Shikamaru and Ino.

Sasuke placed his hand on your knee. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You held the straw between your fingers, leaning to take a sip, drinking slowly.

He didn’t take his eyes off you until the movie started, not even to eat. Part of you assumed he was looking at Shikamaru or Sakura and not at you.

You felt him inch his hand up to your thigh. With his free hand, he removed the popcorn from his lap and placed it on the floor.

He moved the drink you were sharing to the cup holder to his left. Taking the hint, you lifted the armrest separating you.

Withdrawing his hand to swing his arm over you as you barely rested your head on him, he gazed down at you. Taking your attention back to the screen, hoping you hadn’t missed anything important, you allowed him to push your head onto his chest.

He smelled good, fresh and clean with something new there. He must’ve had been wearing a different cologne.

If you knew something about Sasuke was that he liked consistency. He wasn’t one for experimenting once he liked something — his haircut hadn’t changed since he was thirteen, his clothing style —which seemed to be inspired by his brother’s— had been the same since the beginning of high school, and he had only dated one person even though thousands swarmed around him.

“I’m bored,” he whispered.

Shifting to speak closer to his ear, you whispered back, “You picked this movie.”

He ignored your comment. “Kiss me.”

Holding his face with your right hand, you lifted your head off his warm coat. Sasuke allowed you to take your time, frowning under the flashing lights from the screen when you started to analyze his face.

Blinking rapidly, letting out a shaky breath, you closed the gap between your mouths. He reciprocated instantly, curling his arm around you so you wouldn’t move.

It was slow, calculated on his behalf which annoyed you. It was a kiss, for show or not, it was just a kiss and he still had to make sure it was perfect.

And it was. His lips shouldn’t have been that soft, and he had no business being such a good kisser. Sasuke’s hand, light on your plush waist, sent shivers down your spine due to its coldness.

You deepened the kiss, sliding your hand to the back of his head.

Fuck. Why were you so willing to make out with him?

════════════════════════

School was a nightmare on Monday, people stared at you without blinking and double-checked whether you had really arrived with Sasuke or not.

Overwhelmed by questions that followed you to every class and even to work, you also had to put up with Sakura’s glare and Shikamaru’s hurt semblance.

Your assumptions had naively been that things would simmer down yet you had never felt regret quite like this.

Nothing would have mattered if Ino hadn’t taken things so badly. She wasn’t speaking to you, that was how mad she was. Your best friend didn’t have the decency to explain why your ‘relationship’ with Sasuke bothered her so much that she felt the need to stop talking to you for three weeks straight.

Hinata had been about to tell you something a particular Saturday, but she seemed to think it was useless and after asking you to be careful, she left the apartment with Naruto.

Your cellphone dinged. Cringing at the sound, you silenced it and then unlocked the device to read the text.

Are you busy? I’m bored.

Sasuke was always bored, you would’ve guessed it without him stating the obvious.

I’m watching TV.

That’s a no, then. Get out of your pajama, I’ll be there in 20.

How the hell did he know you were wearing pajamas?

What should I wear, dad?

Kinky. Casual clothes. But wear comfortable shoes, I don’t want to hear you complain.

Heat crawled up your face, prompting you to exhale at a slow pace. Dropping the cellphone onto the couch, you walked toward your room.

To your surprise, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and a coat. Instead, he sported a plain t-shirt and a bomber jacket.

It wasn’t that the outfit didn’t suit him, it did, but you needed a few minutes to get used to the style. He glared at you when he caught you staring which made you deviate your eyes to the car.

Nodding, he opened the door for you. Relieved that he hadn’t snapped at you for checking him out, you entered the car in silence.

“Do you watch a lot of TV?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He reformulated, “Are you a television buff?”

“Eh. I don’t have enough time to watch much.”

His only answer was a hum.

Bowling. He took you bowling. The thing he knew you were so bad at that every time your friends suggested the activity you found an excuse to skip.

He looked so smug, draping his arm around your shoulders as a teasing boyfriend would to their partner.

You let out an annoyed sigh, not shying away from letting him know he had achieved the amusement he had been seeking.

“I’ll teach you,” he assured lowly.

You picked the shoes you were given, trying not to make a face. Thanking the clerk, who wasn’t at fault for the horrendous style of the shoes nor for how petty Sasuke got to be, you walked toward the bench.

He sat down beside you, undoing his sneakers.

“Why did you make me wear comfortable shoes when I would have to put on these ugly things anyway?”

“I forgot.”

Inserting both your names on the computer, he nodded upward so you would pick a ball.

You looked for his approval, fitting your fingers in a red ball and lifting it as you stared at him.

“Is that comfortable for you?”

“Yeah.”

He got closer to you, settling his hand on your upper arm. “You need to relax your muscles, otherwise you’ll hurt yourself.”

Nodding, you wetted your lips. Why did they feel so dry? “Now what?”

“Try to score more points than me.”

Asshole.

At least you had a good time.

════════════════════════

There you were, smiling at people as you gave them their orders and offering to take over when your coworker was struggling with the espresso machine.

Sasuke had pushed the thought of his assignment to the side, too busy watching you rearrange cups. It was soothing to see, an activity so mundane yet so important to your job.

“Stop staring at her,” Naruto chastised. “It’s creepy.”

“I can stare as much as I want.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the blond mumbled, motioning with his head at Shikamaru who had twisted his body to give you all his attention.

Sasuke glowered at his best friend, then at Shikamaru. He stared at you again, watching you disappear behind the door that led to the back. Annoyed, he threw his books into the backpack and closed his laptop.

Both men in front of him curiously stared. Ah, so now they wanted to pay attention, huh.

Standing up, he swung the backpack onto his left shoulder. As if on cue, you stepped out of the kitchen, apron-less and struggling to zip your jacket. When you finally achieved it, your eyes found his.

Approaching him, pursing your lips, you fixed the uneven string of his hoodie with both hands. A twinge of red appeared on his cheeks, yet he didn’t push you away.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Hinata took it with her.”

Sasuke hummed, staring past your shoulder. “We should get going.”

Nodding, you motioned for him to lead the way. He grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the shop before you could say goodbye to Naruto and Shikamaru.

He walked mindlessly, passing the spot where his car was parked. His fingers squeezed yours, trapping them in between.

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

You stayed silent. He was clearly in a bad mood, and you weren’t going to coddle him into talking about it. He would never do it either way.

The walk was nice, the silence he had forced you into added to the enjoyment. The city was busy, always, no matter the time, and you could hear bits and pieces of conversations and songs as you passed different businesses.

He huffed. “Why do you even work at a coffee shop?”

“It’s temporary. After the internship, I haven’t found the right fit in terms of schedule...”

He hummed, encouraging you to complete your comment.

You added the real reason why you had settled, “The coffee shop gave me the perfect excuse to move out of my dad’s house.”

“I didn’t like living at my parent’s house anymore either. My brother tried to convince me to move in with him, but it defeated the purpose.”

“Itachi is cool, though.”

He narrowed his eyes. “He is cool? My brother?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Everybody thinks so. I’m pretty sure we all have had a crush on him at some point.”

“Hn.”

He didn’t say another word. Turning around, he dragged you all the way back.

He didn’t answer when he dropped you off at your building and you told him to be safe either. Not even with a nod or one of his grunts.

Wondering if you had done something wrong, if perhaps talking about his brother like that had been too much, you let out a chuckle.

You were reading too much into his attitude, why would he get upset over hearing a fact?

Now, Sasuke himself was handsome, you could admit that. But admitting that was like saying flowers were pretty, or that puppies were cute — it was so obvious, so agreed upon that the repetitiveness of the admission would have been pointless; a tad bit annoying.

Checking your phone, eager to see his “I’m home” text, you entered the kitchen.

“You know he doesn’t like you, right?”

Grabbing a couple of grapes, you asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Sasuke doesn’t like PDA, and he isn’t normally chatty. He’s using you to spite Sakura.”

You felt something heavy on your chest. Swallowing your spit, you popped a grape into your mouth and chewed it slowly.

She continued, taking your stance as a cue to speak, “When he was with Sakura—“

You snapped, almost choking on the fruit you had just swallowed, “I am not Sakura, so I don’t care.”

“Ino told me you would say that...”

“Oh, so she can talk about me but she can’t talk to me?” you rasped, immediately coughing up after.

“She needs time. This is weird, and we’re both...” she sighed, searching for the right word, “worried. You turned down a guy who sees you as a goddess for someone known to be emotionally unavailable.”

“I don’t want to be seen as a goddess. I am not one, I have no desire to be held to a standard I can’t possibly match.”

Hinata looked skeptical, as if you had ever shown any desire to be perceived as a mystical being.

You started gesturing with your hands, hoping she would understand what you were coming from, “I want to be seen like a person who can’t always react in the best way possible and is insecure at times... I want to know the other person won’t run away because I’m not the cookie-cutter woman they imagined.”

”Sasuke is not the one who can give you that either.”

You frowned.

“Sakura tried—“

You rolled your eyes, feeling an approaching headache. “Do you know how many times he has compared me to her? Zero!”

Hinata dropped her eyes to the floor, shaking her head. “You’re falling for him.”

“I am not!”

“Why are you getting so defensive? You are dating him.”

“Because you’re insinuating I’m being blinded by him!”

“Of course not. You’re just ignoring what you can clearly see.”

You weren’t ignoring anything.

No, really, you weren’t.

He was using you with your consent. You were more than fine with it.

Your stomach churned.

Shit.

════════════════════════

You found Hinata’s commitment endearing. She had asked you a few weeks ago if you would be okay with her throwing Naruto a birthday party at the apartment.

When you said yes, you didn’t imagine she would be so bossy. She had you all working on different things while she and Sakura baked and decorated the cake.

Your duty was making sure everything was as she had planned. Her drawings were amazingly detailed, and you were getting more nervous as you compared the real thing with the paper.

“I think we need more...” Shikamaru made a dramatic gesture with both hands.

“Color?” you offered.

“Exactly!”

It looked more than fine to you in terms of color. It was just a birthday party for a young adult, not a thematic party for a child. What the balloons needed was to stay on the wall.

Shikamaru leaned against said wall. A balloon fell in front of him.“Remember when you did the decoration for the Christmas party in eighth grade?”

“Oh, the paper trees?”

He nodded with a smile appearing on his face. “We could make some paper shapes and glue them to the wall.”

Sensing he was too close, you stepped backward. “I don’t know if we have enough—“ you stopped yourself when your back collided against someone behind you.

Recognizing the hands that were holding your waist, you turned around. Sasuke raised both eyebrows, as though he was expecting something.

“What are you doing here? Where is Naruto?”

“Itachi wanted to take him shopping and finally teach him how to dress.”

“His style isn’t that bad.”

He tugged you closer, humming. “If you say so.”

“Why don’t you help us to stick the balloons on the wall?”

Sasuke analyzed the wall behind you, frowning. God, it must’ve looked ugly. He dragged his hands up, fingers brushing your arm as he snatched the piece of paper off your hand.

“Bring those tapes you bought for bullet journaling in high school.”

You whined. He didn’t have to remind you of that phase. You never did bullet journaling, by the way, the tapes were too cute for you to waste them.

Sighing, you shook him off you. “Fine.”

Hinata shot you a surprised look when you passed the kitchen, carrying the box where you stored the stationary you never used.

Sat on the floor, you wasted your precious time crafting a balloon arch. Sasuke would hand you the balloons and hold them for you to tape while Shikamaru made sure the arch stayed against the wall.

The accumulated weight made it all easier, and it would surely stay there as decoration until the balloons naturally deflated. That made you feel a little less shitty for how much balloons ruined the environment.

Naruto’s reaction made it all worth it. The change of style wouldn’t last, you were sure, but he looked happy.

You caught Itachi staring at you. Sliding your arm off Sasuke’s, you approached the older Uchiha.

“Long time no see.” His smile didn’t fill his dark eyes as he greeted you.

You tried to chuckle. “Two years? Three?”

“Something like that.” He brought his cup to his lips. You waited for what he wanted to say. He let it out, “I’m worried about my brother.” It sounded like a confession.

Taking a sip of your own cup, you took the bait, “Can I ask why?”

“I would be alarmed if his girlfriend didn’t ask why.”

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“How many times did you see him this week?”

“Every day at campus.”

“And after?” Your silence was the answer he had anticipated. “You don’t have to tell me if you’ve been fighting, but you need to fix things.”

“W—what? No! We are fine.”

He didn’t believe you. “He never got this upset when he fought with Sakura.”

“Why does everyone insist on comparing me to her?!”

“Because he dumped her for you.”

You hated hearing that. It wasn’t true, and if it had been it would’ve been fucked up so you would’ve stayed away. At least you wanted to believe that. “I didn’t force him.”

Itachi rested his hand on your shoulder, brotherly encouraging you, “Go talk to him. You’ll do everybody a favor.”

Instead of looking for Sasuke, you decided to entrench yourself in your bedroom. Everyone was having fun, you didn’t want to sour the mood with whatever it was you were feeling.

You bumped into Ino on your way to your room. She ignored you while you followed her with your eyes. She was handed a drink by Sakura.

Shaking your head, you continued your path. Were the hostilities worth it? Your best friend seemed to have forgotten you existed, Sakura hated you, Shikamaru hadn’t given up... and the worst part of it all, Hinata was right.

Closing the door behind you, letting out a long sigh, you failed to see you weren’t alone.

Sasuke took his earphones off, sitting up on your bed where he had been laying on his back.

You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Why are you here?”

“You left me alone to go with Itachi.”

“You should talk to him,” you told him, hoping it would convince him to leave the room. “He’s worried about you.”

“Your crush Itachi?”

“Your brother Itachi.”

Sasuke grunted.

You left the bed in order to snatch the zippered hoodie on your desk chair. To your luck, the autumn air would get too chilly while you were trying to unwind.

He grabbed you by the wrist, startling you.

“What the fuck is your problem, Sasuke?”

“What’s yours? Since when do you get so worked up by me not saying anything?”

“Since when do you ignore the person you are supposedly dating for an entire week?”

Dropping your wrist, he shrugged, only staring at you to see your reaction.

“This was a mistake.”

Picking your keys, you dropped them into your pocket. You took your cellphone so you could let know Hinata you were fine and walked to the door.

“So that’s it?” He asked harshly. “You’re going to leave me in your room, take a walk, come back, kiss Shikamaru and pretend this didn’t mean anything?”

“Yeah,” you admitted. He had picked up on it quicker than it took you to plan it. “He’s nice and hasn’t given up.”

You counted his steps. One, two — he messed with his hair. Three, four — he looked taller as he approached you. Five, six — his chest heaved up and down. Seven, eight — he fixed his eyes on yours. Nine, ten — why were you counting?

“Is he?”

You nodded, holding his gaze.

“Do you want to know what’s going to happen?” He didn’t wait for you to answer. “You will do all of that, regret it when he becomes unbearable again, and wish I was there so you could use me some more.”

“I am the one who used you?!” The fucking nerve of this guy. “It was your idea.”

“Well, I stopped doing it a week after!” He exploded.

No, no, no. You shook your head, trying to find a way to put more distance between you and him.

“You don’t know what you want. You just haven’t spent enough time with other people. AND we wouldn’t even work that well together! I like showing affection and you don’t, a—and I talk too much for my own good...”

“Haven’t I shown you enough affection already?”

“It’s different. That was fake.” You explained it to him, “I mean doing things because you want, because showing the other person that you care feels good. Sometimes it’s handholding but others is not doing it because you can tell that person is—“

He cupped your face to shut you up, bumping his nose with yours. Slanting his head, he gave you the chance to push him away, to tell him no. That didn’t happen, you couldn’t do it, you didn’t want to do it.

He kissed you, and you kissed him back. Your hands traveled up his arms, stopping at his shoulders. Sasuke hummed into the kiss, sliding his hand to the back of your head while the other stayed on your cheek.

You parted from him, barely allowing some space to exist between you two as you analyzed his expression.

“I was angry,” he confessed under his breath. “Itachi is nicer than me, more of your type.”

“You misunderstood what I said.”

He nodded. “I was mad already, but then you spoke about my brother like that and...” clenching his jaw, he turned his head to the side. Sasuke stared at the wall, willing it to show him the appropriate words to say. “Being with you feels right and I don’t want to lose that. I wish I had seen it sooner.”

You giggled out of nervousness — this was more nerve-wracking than being seen as a goddess. This was real, you hadn’t done much to achieve it. And he was correct, it felt right.

Breathing in and out at a slow rhythm, you found yourself toying with the seam of his t-shirt. “I shouldn’t like you this much.”

“I personally believe you should.”

You did it anyway. It couldn’t be that bad if there was no fiber of your being that didn’t scream in some level of awe every time you were around him. Or every time you thought of him. Or when you heard his name being uttered.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him into another kiss.

Sasuke moved his hands to your hips, gripping them tightly as he angled his face to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid past his lips and pried yours open, caressing your tongue once you gave him access.

Movement behind you interrupted the heated kiss. The door was pushed open. You craned your neck, arms still around Sasuke as your eyes fell on Hinata.

“We’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Naruto.”

Sasuke sighed shakily, withdrawing his hands from your body.

Hinata didn’t leave your room until you showed signs of intending to follow her to the dining room. Sasuke trailed behind you, hurrying to grab your hand.

Everyone was staring at you instead of focusing on Naruto. You avoided looking at anyone but the celebrated, wanting the song to be over already.

Ino stared blankly for a moment, eyes moving to your shoulder. And it dawned on you — it had never been about your happiness or comfort.

She liked Sasuke too.

════════════════════════

He watched you fidget in the middle of his kitchen as you used to in middle school, back when you weren’t able to string a sentence in front of a stranger without stuttering.

He grew worried as your fidgeting turned into pacing.

“Why are you so tense?”

You shrugged dismissively. “Things out of my control.”

Controlling the way other people felt wasn’t something you ever wanted. It sounded like the worst superpower in the world. You just wished Ino would’ve told you the truth.

Losing friends over a guy was not how you thought your love life would go when you accepted helping him. It didn’t cross your mind when you realized you had fallen for him — perhaps because his reciprocity hadn’t been something you foresaw either.

“You can stay with me tonight if you want,” he offered like he knew exactly what the problem was.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” you joked.

“Very much.”

You almost smiled. Your gut told you to hug him, kiss every millimeter of his gorgeous face, and just forget about everything else. Your brain found the idea stupid.

”Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you really hate affection?” God, what an annoying question to make. “ I— I don’t want to be repetitive with the topic, but I would feel awful if I was forcing you to display anything.”

“You’re not forcing me.”

Sasuke beckoned you closer, resting his forehead on yours when you complied. You forgot the words you were meaning to say, willing to get lost in his eyes and never come back.

You cradled his face, leaning forward. Brushing your lips against his, you decided that worrying and feeling bad would only keep you from experiencing this. And so you kissed him more firmly, stomach flipping when he chuckled on your mouth.

He broke the kiss for a fleeting moment, just to mumble, “I’ll show you real affection.”

His lips returned to yours, kissing you aggressively. He left you breathless, gasping for more of his mouth instead of air. His hands roamed your body as he kissed you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, feeling him push you backward. Your back hit the counter and he used the fact as leverage to grind against you.

Dragging his mouth down your throat, he put the soft kisses he had been meaning to litter all over your neck for weeks to the side and instead sucked on your tender skin.

The actions granted him a whimper on your behalf. His hips bucked up, prompting you to trail your hands down his torso. He refused to disconnect your fronts, grinding on you some more.

Sasuke toyed with the edge of your t-shirt, barely inching it up as he did so. His fingers brushed your soft stomach. “Take it off.”

Gripping the hem of your t-shirt, you slid off as quickly as you could, awkwardly holding it in your hand. Sasuke pried it off your hand, throwing the fabric to the side.

He took his shirt off too, letting it fall on top of yours. His hands were back on you instantly, running up your torso as he fit his knee between your legs.

You unabashedly groped his shoulders and back, attaching your mouth to his collarbone. Sasuke grunted, bringing his hands down to undo your jeans.

He cupped your pussy, fingers pushing your panties flush against your labia. He felt the material dampen just as you ground on his hand.

“Be patient.”

You whined. “Don’t tease me then.”

Pushing your jeans and panties down to your knees, he collected your wetness, spreading it up and down. “You think that’s teasing?”

“I don’t care. Do something.”

His thumb brushed your clit. He drew light circles on it, eyes fixed on your needy ones. He smiled, satisfied with the effect he was having on you.

Slowly, he slid a finger in your pussy, pressing his thumb on your clit. He caressed your walls, taking his time to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you.

The addition of a second digit came with harsher movements. The curling of his fingers inside you consequentially led him to rub your clit.

“Do you like that?”

You hung your head forward, gripping his shoulders as you hummed. Not able to help it, you arched your back, lifting your hips. His name erupted from your lips, tone needy as you asked him not to stop the scissoring movement.

“Use your words, baby, tell me how good I’m making you feel.”

Your walls momentarily squeezed his fingers. “So good.”

He kissed your jaw, then dragged his mouth against your skin, peppering kisses down your neck.

“Turn around.”

“Bu—“

“It’s been a while, I’m not going to last long.”

You bent over the counter with your ass up, waiting for him. A thrill ran down your spine when you heard him zip down his pants.

He rubbed the tip of his cock over your slit, making you whimper. You lightly shook your ass, encouraging him to get inside you already.

Giving you a playfully spank, Sasuke dipped into your pussy. His breath hitched, the warmth enveloping him was better than he had imagined. You could feel every inch filling you, his veins throbbing against your walls.

As impatient as you were, you craned your neck. “Give me a moment,” you said shakily, “it’s been a while for me too.”

His fingers trailed up and down your sides, silently assuring you that you could take as much time as you needed.

You didn’t need much time, your lust for him, combined with his soft touch, and how good he felt seated inside you, were more than enough for you to relax.

“You can move.”

He started slow, resting his hands on your waist as he pulled out only to enter you again. He did it a couple of times until he was sure you weren’t experiencing discomfort.

The pace was too slow in your opinion, a waste of time. You didn’t care how long he would last, at that point you just wanted him to make you come.

“I’ll do whatever you want,“ you promised urgently, “just go fast.”

His hands moved up. While his right one groped your chest, trying to free your tits from the bra, his left arm wrapped tightly around your middle.

Thrusting up into you, he managed to sneak his hand into your bra. Pinching your nipple, he relished in the sounds you were making, in how tightly you were squeezing him.

It made him quicken up his pace. The arm around you loosened for a moment so he could trail his hand down. Finding your clit again, he started rubbing it, this time with quick circular movements.

You gripped the counter, crying out. You wanted to thrash and scream all at once, in part because you were sure he would’ve liked it but mostly because your legs were already tingling.

He didn’t miss a single time. Not only was he hitting your g-spot repeatedly, but Sasuke had also put the inhibitions aside and with his breath on your cheek, he was moaning in your ear, moving his palm to your other breast, kneading it. You shifted on your feet, wishing you could do anything else than hold onto the counter.

His thrusts were getting sloppy, fingers rubbing your clit fervently.

You let out a string of courses through whines, brain getting fuzzy as he nuzzled against your neck.

Pulsing around him, your curses became incoherent sounds that mingled with his groans and hums.

Sasuke rasped in your ear, “Come all over me.”

You didn’t trust your words, not when his own went straight to your lower stomach. There was nothing you longed for more than pleasing him. He had demanded it, and you complied quicker than your pride would ever allow you to admit.

He blurted your name, spilling inside you after a few finishing snaps from his hips.

Guiding you to a standing position, pushing your belly against the edge of the counter as his sweaty chest heaved against your back, Sasuke attempted to catch his breath.

Fascinated by the fact that you were using a blow dryer to dry your panties, Sasuke leaned against the bathroom’s doorway.

“Do you need help?”

“No.”

“Are you mad at me?”

You turned the panties inside out, just making sure you were drying them properly. “Why would I be mad? It wasn’t on purpose.”

The bathroom became silent as you turned the dryer off. Sliding the panties on, you stared at him with eyebrows raised.

Sasuke scoffed, looking away. Clearing his throat, he announced, “The kitchen is clean already.”

Turning the light off, you walked past him into his bedroom. He placed his hands on your waist, sitting down on his bed as you stood between his legs.

“Are you staying?”

“Yeah. Hinata texted me, she wants the apartment all for her and Naruto.”

His brow furrowed. “But... would you stay if she hadn’t said anything?”

Moving a strand of hair off his face, you assured him, “Yes.”

Sasuke hummed, sliding his hands to your back in order to wrap his arms around you. Holding onto his shoulders, you blew air on his face to keep that stupid hair from covering his eyes.

Amused, he shook his head vigorously to mess his hair. You pouted. He snorted, tugging on your hips to bring you onto the bed on top of him.

Resting your weight on your arm, laying on your side, you reached out to fix his hair. Sasuke pushed your hand away, shifting to face you.

“You need to trim that hair.”

He grunted. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing really, but it doesn’t let me admire your eyes.”

A red tint appeared on his face. You kissed his flushed cheek, smiling against his skin.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” he whispered.

“I’ve already admitted I like you, the least I can do is enjoy making you blush.”

Sasuke repositioned himself on the mattress, closer to you as his new position on his side naturally allowed him to. He gave you a kiss out of nowhere.

You laid on your back to give your arm a break, draping your other arm over his frame to trail your fingers down his spine.

He dropped his head onto your chest, sighing softly, while his arm circled your waist.

“I thought you didn’t like cuddling,” you commented, worried that he would get uncomfortable.

“I might’ve lied,” he mumbled, nuzzling on your t-shirt.

[sakis-sweets]

You write fanfiction, right?

Honestly, smacking random ships were always fun to me.

It's like, "They literally have no interaction......but they COULD."

So, could I get a Uekiya x Geiju? (i imagine Geiju wants to draw flowers and plants overall more often....and ends up drawing a lot of Uekiya instead :P)

okay, before we get to the fanfiction, a couple of things

first: i'm not officially taking requests right now. i'm taking this one because the idea is interesting and specific so i don't have to do a lot of work and this fandom is starved for content right now. i wrote this on a plane to visit my dad.

second: "You write fanfiction, right? Do this thing, peasant girl." don't do that to content creators. that's rude. i don't know if that's the attitude you intended, but that's the way it came off. don't feel obligated to slip into my inbox and apologize or anything just don't do it again, and let this serve as a message to anyone else thinking about approaching people with requests in this manner.

anyway, with that out of the way, here's the fanfic

Uekiya’s mornings had become quite busy. One of her club members, Sakura, failed to return home after school a few days ago. She had always had a poor constitution, so it was normal for her to miss class, but not even her parents knew where she had gone. They filed a report with the police and declared her missing, but there weren’t any leads so far. Uekiya, terrified as she was, could do nothing but smile and take on watering the plants at both the gardening club and the school’s second floor. Those plants had previously been Sakura’s responsibility, but Uekiya had to accept that they still needed care, even if Sakura wasn’t currently around to give it.

She managed to finish watering everything a few minutes before class. At the very least, she could be grateful for the workout she earned by running around with a watering can; she was gasping for breath when Geiju approached her. He did so almost wordlessly, offering only a “hey,” as a greeting.

“Oh, Tsuburaya-kun! I’m sorry, I’m probably blocking the stairs, aren’t I?” The flowers she’d just watered were the ones closest to the art club. “Let me get out of your way so you can go to class…”

“No. Teach me,” Geiju said in a monotonous voice.

“Huh?”

He lifted a single finger. “To draw. Draw that,” he continued. Uekiya followed his finger and saw that he was pointing to the flowers.

“Oh! Do you need help painting flowers? Well, I don’t know much about painting, but… how about this - come down to the gardening club after school and I can help you if you have any questions, okay?”

“Okay.” Geiju inclined his head and moved past her to the stairwell. Most people would be put off by his blunt speech, but Uekiya could only imagine what went on inside the head of the school’s art genius; it was probably too important to leave room for small talk and social niceties. Either way, she was more than happy to lend a helping hand wherever possible. Uekiya watched him leave for a moment before remembering herself and rushing off to put her watering can away and go to her own class.

Geiju finally showed up after six, when club activities had finished for the day. Of course he wouldn’t have been able to observe the gardening club; he had his own club to run. But that meant that Uekiya and Geiju would be alone for a while. He had shown up with a sketchbook and charcoal pencils rather than any paints.

“Do you need help carrying an easel down the stairs?” Uekiya offered.

Geiju shook his head. “Just studying. Not painting.”

“Oh, so you’re just sketching for now, and you’ll learn how to paint it later. Is that right?”

Geiju nodded. “Club assignment. Flower study.”

Uekiya clapped her hands together. “I see, that sounds like a lot of fun! There’s so many types of flowers to choose from, even here! Akademi has one of the loveliest gardens I’ve ever seen.” Geiju stared blankly at her while she talked, causing her to blush under his merciless stare. “O-Oh my, I’m sorry for rambling! I’m just going to do a sweep of the grounds and see if any of the plants need pruning. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Geiju nodded again and approached a patch of carnations. He knelt down in front of them and began to stare intently, closely studying every detail of the plant. Uekiya had to stifle a laugh; it was strange to see his bottomless gaze directed towards a harmless flower. “Why start with a carnation?” she asked. “Most people learn to draw roses first, right?”

“Already can,” Geiju answered. “Not this.”

“So you already know how to draw roses?”

“Not hard. Just patterns.”

Uekiya gasped. “That may be so, but every rose is different! They all bloom in different ways! Let me show you, the roses are right over here…” She realized Geiju was staring at her with an exasperated look on his face. “Ah, sorry… I’m being a nuisance, aren’t I? Well, just… carry on.” Geiju returned to staring at the carnation. Somewhat tense, Uekiya tried to distract herself from his presence by tending to the flowers.

Some of the buds needed to be pruned, so she clipped away at them. She understood that the smaller buds would suffocate the larger ones, but it didn’t make her any less sad to see them hit the dirt. She flinched at the sudden thought of a sickly Sakura falling to the ground like all the buds that couldn’t be saved. Tears welled up in her eyes, causing her to briskly wipe them away. She hadn’t let herself cry so far and she wasn’t about to start.

“You’re crying,” Geiju suddenly said. Uekiya quickly turned to face him, ashamed that she had been caught.

“Sorry,” she said with a smile. “I didn’t mean for you to see that. I’m alright, I promise.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah…” Uekiya’s smile faltered as she looked at the ground. She had claimed to be alright, but he had seen through it, so she might as well fess up. “One of my friends, Sakura… She's missing. We don’t know if she’s okay or not.”

“Oh.” Geiju paused for a moment. “I saw.”

Uekiya gasped. “You saw what happened to her?”

Geiju shrank a bit. “No. The poster.”

“Oh…” He was referring to the missing person poster that had been posted at Akademi. Sakura’s poster had joined the ranks of a few faces that had disappeared without a trace; from the school’s most popular girls to the gaming club members, it seemed no one was safe. “Of course, that’s what you meant. Sorry for presuming… I’ll leave you to your drawing.”

“I can’t.”

Uekiya tilted her head in confusion. “You can’t? What’s wrong?”

Geiju stood and approached her, holding out his sketchbook. He looked irritated as he spoke. “Couldn’t draw. Only you.”

Uekiya’s eyes widened at his sketchbook, the most recent page of which had been filled with her likeness. He had even drawn her crying profile. In each and every picture, she looked as stunning as a fragile daisy “Why did you do all this?” she asked quietly.

“Had to. Couldn’t stop,” was Geiju’s only excuse. He suddenly ripped the page from the book and held it out to her. “Keep it. Don’t cry.”

Uekiya automatically took the page, too stunned to think about her actions. Geiju turned to leave, and Uekiya realized how empty the garden would feel without his presence. Just as he was about to walk through the entrance of the club, she called out to him. “Tsuburaya-kun!” He stopped in his tracks. “Um… if you’d like to… will you come here again…?”

He turned back towards her. His face was blank, but his ears had turned red and he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Okay, Engeika-san.”

Uekiya smiled in relief and waved goodbye. Geiju departed without another word, leaving her alone with her thoughts. And his sketches.

She hugged them close to her chest. “I’m sorry, Sakura,” she said quietly. “I’m so worried about you, but looking at this drawing, I can’t possibly be sad.”

Geiju had been unexpectedly kind, in a way that even he hadn’t noticed. He reminded her of a desert flower, only blooming where no one was around to see it.

Uekiya wanted to watch him bloom to the fullest. Perhaps her newfound feelings would bloom with him.

[spield]

journey to i - kakasaku

Author’s Notes: This has been in my google docs for so long, I’ve forgotten all about it. I low-key panicked when I couldn’t find it my files hahaha. But here it is. Not much romance, but more of... hmm, you tell me what you think it is in your comments! ;) 

Disclaimer: As I’ve said before, sometimes I just write to get things out THEN edit it after. This is the case for this one. Will probably edit this soon though! 

In the end, when Sasuke asks, Sakura says no. 

She takes his lone hand, kisses his palm and whispers why she can’t. 

Sasuke doesn’t understand but he sees the longing in her green eyes, and ah, that he understands. So he pokes her forehead, just above her seal, and hopes they meet on the road and promises a cup of tea. 

She doesn’t linger to watch him leave. Instead, the moment he turns his back, she turns hers too. One feet in front of the other, she walks through the paths of her village, through the market and takes a few turns and goes inside the Hokage tower. 

In less than an hour, Sakura files her indefinite leave with a promise to assist, help and support members of the Shinobi Alliance on her way but with no promise when she’ll come back.

Kakashi is outside when she steps out, no signs of his hat and coat but with his trademark slouch present. He must’ve jumped through the window, Sakura thinks amusedly. Somehow, even through everything, under the fading light, he still looks untouchable. Perhaps, especially now. “You going somewhere?” 

“You just approved my papers.” Sakura smiles, waving the scroll in front of him. “You know where I’m going.” 

Kakashi’s dark eyes - eyes, how odd - are unreadable as he says, “No. No, I don’t.” 

There’s much left to say, but years of cowardice and hiding are not easy habits to break. So Sakura heads home, and is gone before the sunrise. 

At the end of it all, Sakura goes on a journey to retrace her own family’s history. Beyond Konoha, beyond the Land of Fire and beyond the world of the shinobi. 

Because before Sakura was the Fifth’s Apprentice, before she was The Scorpion Killer and way before she was the leftovers of an old genin team, Sakura was a Haruno. 

And all Haruno go back to the sea. 

She left Konoha with just one bag filled with colorful clothes that she never got to wear. Clothes that her mother and father gifted her year after year, holiday after holiday, even when she couldn’t wear them. Not in the village of leaves, not when they smell of the sea even if they’ve never touched it. 

So, Haruno Sakura goes home. 

This is what Sakura tells the Godaime, the Rokudaime and anyone who asks. 

(This is what she tells herself, however, in the end, it’s still heartbreak that leads her away from Konoha. When she meets Sasuke for tea, she hopes they could talk about how Konoha broke their hearts in the way it never did to Naruto.)

All questions are quelled by a calling, by the vast distance, beyond the greens of different trees and blues of different seas tug at her heartstrings, whispering, “Darling, our darling, let us hold you.” 

Sakura circumnavigates the world and through her journey, she meets a monk, a lover and a heathen.

Suna is not known for their religious beliefs. From what she’d gathered throughout her years of friendship with Kankuro, they were pretty lenient to whatever gods their shinobi choose to worship. 

“Maybe, you know, except for another Rabbit Goddess,” Kankuro backtracked, fingers uncoordinated and stiff from fighting, trying to balance a sake cup. It was the first time they’ve seen each other after the war, on the tails still of victory and defeat. High off it. “Yup, maybe not another Rabbit Goddess, maybe not Jashin either - everything else, fair game.”

“Faith is an interesting reprieve from the terrors of life.” Gaara said, righting his brother up with his sand. His teal eyes are fond and warm, and new. His gourd is nowhere to be seen and he looks so young for a man who led their army.  “We let people have their gods.” 

Suna is not known for their religious beliefs, or rather, they’re known for not being known for it but still, it’s where Sakura meets the monk. 

Suna welcomes her with open arms because the sands may be forever shifting, but it never forgets. It remembers her as that 15 year old prodigy who saved their Kazekage’s brother, that 19, 20 and 21 year old who performed miracles in the battlefield with eyes fierce and elbows deep in people’s guts. Suna loves her for what she represents - grit, dirt and kindness honed by the cruelty of the world. 

(Abandoned. That’s what Suna and Sakura had in common.)

Sometimes, Sakura wishes she could see what they see too. 

Now, she’s 23 years old. Two years after the war and she’s still so tired. 

In Suna, she’s given free reign of the hospital. Overseeing their developments in prosthesis, their puppet corps turned into experts of the field. She supposes Sasori would be rolling in his grave at the thought of how his notes revolutionized the entire field of artificial limbs - if he had a grave that is. 

(Sasori was a brilliant man. Mad, yes, but brilliant - and aren’t the brilliant ones always are?)

When Sakura lessens her healing and caseload citing more hands-on training for the Suna medics, Gaara doesn’t ask. She’s still brilliant with her lectures and demonstration and nobody dares to question the greatest healer of the nations. 

It is on the first day of her sixth month when she sees the monk. There’s some sort of blessing ceremony to be done to the new ward of the hospital. The Kazekage’s invited the religious leaders of Suna to bless the place. 

Several came, all with different garments and different rituals. One came with water from a blessed oasis, all barefooted and with hair reaching up to the backs of their knees. They spoke a language she’s never heard, words running over like water over rocks in a bubbling stream. Another came in traditional Suna garments, and sprinkled sand over the white tiles of the new ward - under the setting sun, it looked like fairy dust and gold. 

Many came and went, but one remained still at the outskirts of the crowd, quiet and familiar.

“It’s the first time he’s gone out in public since Chiyo-baa-sama’s death,” Kankuro shrugged when Sakura asked. “He’s kind of particular and all that.” 

It isn’t until the sun dips down the horizon that the monk steps forward. At this point there aren’t anyone left but Gaara and Sakura but nevertheless, they receive no acknowledgement from the stooping man. 

He’s quiet, as he bleeds his chakra to the floor and down every grain of sand in the ward. It always amazes Sakura how chakra lives in non-combatants - a proof that it exists beyond duty. And proof that it can, perhaps, one day exist only for beauty. 

“Do you think he takes confessions?” Sakura whispers. Gaara’s lips quirk upwards, knowing that she knows the difference between a priest and a monk and yet indulges her. “Perhaps. If he does, let me know.”  They’ve all got sins to unload, Sakura muses. And yet, despite being weighed down by all the choices she’s made and been forced to make, it’s not what spills from her mouth when she finds the monk a week after. 

Or rather, he finds her. Coughing, old and sitting on her table. 

There’s something about him, lungs barely holding on and yet still at peace, old age running lines on his face that had her saying, confessing - “I believe I am lost.” 

The monk pauses, eyes torn away from the window and gravitating towards her face. Sakura doesn’t expect a response, after all, he hasn’t said a word to anyone for years. But, he shakes his naked head and offers her a smile, “Nothing is ever really lost.”

That night, she receives a missive from Konoha, like she’s been receiving for the past eleven months but this time, there are two of them. One is a response to the report she wrote about the progress of her study in prosthetics and the other, the other smelling of home and written in a piece of old weathered paper. It almost makes her smile.  Mr. Ukki misses you. 

Sakura doesn’t stay long after that. She fears that if she stays so near to home, its voice will overpower her roots’, and the sea has been waiting for her since she was born. 

She bids Suna goodbye after a year of staying within its walls. She hugs Kankuro tightly, hold Temari’s hand and kisses Gaara’s cheek. 

The Kazekage blushes underneath his hat and Kankuro jibes, “Well, if this is what farewell feels like, then you should say goodbye more often.” 

For months, Sakura moves from town to town, village to village. Occasionally receiving scrolls from Konoha, asking her to lend assistance to a new ally or an old enemy.

It’s funny, how a great military power apologizes for its sins. Never acknowledging it, never calling it reparations, preferring the term “aid” when it only ever is leverage. 

How odd. 

How hypocritical. 

(Sometimes, Sakura wonders if Uchiha Itachi was truly a loyal ninja of Konoha or if he was yet just another blinded soldier searching for idealism in a corrupted system. Was he a victim, truly? A hero? A martyr? To what end? For whom?) 

In her bones, Sakura feels time slipping faster and faster, and despite these emerging thoughts, she wonders if spring has begun in Konoha. 

She claims her free tea from Sasuke at a small town on the border of Iwakagure and Takigakure, almost half a year after she left Suna - two years into her journey. 

“You need a haircut, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura greets and watches in satisfaction as the hobo-looking man looks up to her as she sits in front of him. His hair has grown longer, covering part of his face, finally succumbing to gravity and bidding the duck-butt style goodbye. 

“Sakura.”

There’s something in the way Sasuke speaks her name. When they were kids, it’s always with dismissal and when they went on, it’s with a tone of chained fondness. During the war, it’s with disdain turned acknowledgement. 

When they were in Konoha, Sakura could swear that she could hear pride in Sasuke’s voice, hidden behind the syllables of her name. 

Here, he calls her with surprise melting into relief. Perhaps, being alone has taken a toll to her wayward teammate. 

(Here’s the difference between the two: Sasuke is looking and running from something, Sakura knows where she’s going. Whether or not she’s running or looking too is irrelevant.) (Kind of.)

“Hey, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura smiles and waves a waitress down, “Fancy a cup of tea with me?” 

Sasuke nods, his lips tugging upward. His dark eyes linger on the spider silk strands of her hair against the orange setting sun.  Her hair’s grown longer, almost as long as when they were genin. 

For a short moment, he’s filled with dread, struggling to remember what young Sakura looked like. He’s starting to forget, perhaps, and it is both a blessing and a punishment. 

The shadows shift and stretch under the guidance of the setting sun, and they exchange stories of the road until the moon nudges the sun to rest. 

It’s funny how easy they fall into bed together, right after tea. 

Sakura’s childhood dreams featured more of a courtship, a promise and a marriage. Teenage Sakura’s fantasy featured more heated kisses, a fight and a leveling of a forest in rage turned lust. 

But this, this is so much better. 

Sasuke touches her with surprising gentleness and want, after they trip their way to his accommodations. There’s a softness in the firm kisses of his mouth, a tremble playing at the edge of his fingertips. It’s not a battle, or a dance but rather an introduction. A hello followed by oh... gods, yes, there -- 

Sasuke makes it good, despite only having one arm, it must be an Uchiha thing to be so good at everything, Sakura thinks as she lay beside her former team mate. 

In a different life, perhaps, she would’ve married Sasuke, she thinks as she watches his lashes flutter as he sleeps. Perhaps, she would’ve give him a child, a girl with his eyes and her hair. A pink-haired Uchiha. But this is not that lifetime. 

Instead, Sakura meets Sasuke again - or perhaps for the very first time - as a lover. Washed anew by his journey, Sakura gets to know her former teammate as a man who can reel out moans and gasps from her, who can, after they decided to travel together for a while, and will start a fire to keep her warm and will tease her about her love affair when he reads Kakashi’s letter over her shoulder.  “Was he the reason why you didn’t come with me?” Sasuke asks. They’re in the Land of Snow, farther from where Sakura really aims to go, but she’s got time to spare and Sasuke might actually be killed by the Raikage if he’s found shuffling around near their country without an escort.  Sakura glances at the words written on the wrinkled parchment (Naruto’s taking classes with Shikamaru. Lots of reading for him to do. He tried using Kage Bunshin to study and knocked himself out. Time is of the essence, he said, and I agree.) and pinches that flicker of hope budding in her chest. 

She shrugs at Sasuke’s question, “I think... I think I wouldn’t have gone with you even without him in the picture.”  Something sad flickers in Sasuke’s eyes before it’s gone, “And yet, here we are.”

“Here we are.” 

In the frigid cold of the snow, Sasuke moves against Sakura as an apology and a goodbye. It’s more than comrades sharing warmth but less than lovers making love. At the back of Sakura’s mind, she wonders if Kakashi knows - if he’s angry or if, like always, he understands.  (She misses him, even when they’ve never had each other like this. But the intimacy of sex is trumped by the intimacy in battle, in handling each other with precious care, scars and blood be damned. It is an intimacy borne of desperation, fostered by respect, watered with fondness -- and killed out of love. She misses him, but time is of the essence.) 

Sasuke and Sakura split up at the outskirts of the Land of Stone at the start of her third year of travelling. He went East, she went West and that was that. A few days in, Sakura enters Asakura.  Asakura is the city of heathens - prostitutions, gambling, and underground dealing. It’s the city of sin, which means, it’s also the land of base instincts and humanity stripped to its bare bones. 

It seems like a city just right up her shishou’s alley. Sakura only had to follow the sounds of bellowing, of bodies of men flying out of tavern, and murmurs about a (beautiful but) crazy bitch burning through her own money to find Tsunade. 

News of another jinchuuriki kage reaches her ears too, but she brushes it away.  It’s been three years since she last saw her shishou and in the dim lights of the tavern, she’s glad to see her as youthful as ever, and tries to erase the image of her wan, old, and dying. 

It is only after Tsunade wins that Sakura approaches with a bottle of sake on hand. 

Glancing down at the large money of pot she just won, Tsunade’s heart pounds hard looking at the girl she broke and trained and broke again until she remade herself - her daughter in all but name - and chokes, joking, “Are you dying?”

When her girl smiles, all calm and accepting, and raises a bottle of the most expensive sake Tsunade ever tasted, something inside the old Senju crumbles.

“Aren’t we all?”

“Oh Sakura, what have you done?”

Tsunade’s hands are shaking, the fading glow of her uselessness mocking her in the darkness of Sakura’s rented room. 

“Everything, shishou. I’ve done everything. I’ve read every book, prayed to every god--”

“God? What good is a god?”  

Initially, Tsunade refuses to let her go. Forces Sakura to stay put with the same glint in her eyes when she taught the kid how to dodge, but it seemed the Slug Princess taught her too well. 

Because after the barbs, sarcasm and nights of getting way too drunk off the pots of money Tsunade continues to win, Sakura says goodbye. 

And Tsunade, not as bitter as she would’ve been, lets her go, and curses the gods for not taking her instead - because hasn’t she witnessed to many deaths already? 

It’s at the fourth year of her journey does Sakura finally lays her eyes on the blue of seas at the border of the old Whirlpool lands. The calling is silent now that she’s come. 

She sheds her old life -  her headband, her gloves and her boots and brings out the vibrantly colored fabrics from her parents. It’s silk against her pinkened skin, and the sand is warm against her feet. 

It feels like a hug and a song of - “Darling, our darling, let us hold you.”

Kakashi writes to her and Sakura doesn’t answer with a letter of her own. 

Instead, she sends Kakashi eel that she herself smoked, a small vial of pink sand and a kiss on a card.

That night, she dances under the moonlight like a flickering moth around the pyre she built. 

The oceans sings for her and she is home. 

After that, there’s no more letters from Konoha. 

In the middle of the fourth year of her journey and the year mark of her semi-permanent residence by the seas at the border of the old Whirlpool lands, Ino visits her. Ino, with her platinum blond hair arrives, still beautiful even with sweat dripping off her.

It takes three days of sunbathing, flower weaving and rebuilding of an old friendship before Ino asks her to come home.

“Haven’t you been away for far too long?” Ino asks, quiet and grown. The days of high-pitch screams and name-calling seems so far away from this little shack by the sea, in this little life her best friend built for herself. 

They’ve spoken of their friends - Naruto’s marriage, Shikamaru’s courtship fo Temari, Ino’s love with Sai and they laughed like bells but Ino didn’t find an ounce of longing in her friend’s eyes, and she already knew she has lost. 

Sakura looks to the shore, there’s a storm coming and hums, “Perhaps.” 

The last letter she receives from Konoha is not a letter at all.

It’s a missive, an invitation - for the Rokudaime’s retirement and the Nanadaime’s ascension.

“God? What good is a god?” 

Who knows? For believers, gods are good for much but--

Because Sakura is not a reincarnation of a god, when she touched Kaguya with her fist glowing green and blue, Sakura touched something not human.

And it touched her back. 

A year into the peace, it rooted deep inside her bones, a poison of the gods against humans brave and stupid enough to lay hands on them. 

It doesn’t take long for Sakura to understand her predicament. She was rotting inside out. Her chakra is poisoning her organs, taking bits off her little by little and so she left Konoha. In leaving, she left what was blossoming between her and Kakashi too in hopes that perhaps she could spare him from this pain.  

But also, she left for this: the sea, the calling and the sand under her feet, and the presence drawing near. 

On the last day of her journey, five years after she left, with her life force draining and yet stretching still - holding on, waiting, the Rokudaime, Kakashi, the man of a thousand jutsu, her lover, her love - arrives on the shores of this little island west of Whirlpool. 

He is older, of course he is. But still, Sakura runs towards him and he, mask pulled down, feet bare and eyes warm - finally free-, takes the last step and meets her halfway. (There’s still much left to say, but they’ve had years of dealing with cowardice and hiding that they’re laughingly easy habits to break.) 

[dimigex]

Author Questionnaire

Thanks for the tag @cinlat This took forever so I'm not going to tag anyone else but please do it if you want, I'd love to know more about so many of the people I follow! And if you do it after seeing it here, tag me!

1. Name: Dimigex

2. Fandoms: Mostly Naruto and Overwatch. I've dabbled in Fullmetal and there are some others I think I could, but there's never enough hours

3. Where You Post: here on tumblr and A03 and Fanfiction.net

4. Most Popular One Shot: Hints (1331 kudos) which is a Kakashi/Iruka slow burn one shot in which Genma plays matchmaker. Honestly, I have no idea why it's so popular.

5. Most Popular Multi-chapter: Altered Reality (381 kudos lol) which is a Kakashi/Rin fix it fic that I honestly never meant to write lol

6. Actual Worst Part of Writing: Making it perfect through editing. I have always said that I am a terrible writer and a great editor but it is so time consuming. I want to get to the fun stuff and get bogged down fixing the plot and setting things up that I lose interest.

7. Favorite Story You Wrote: This is actually a really hard one for me. It's a toss-up between Falling Cherry Blossoms and I'll be the Moon. Falling Cherry Blossoms is an exploration of grief and what it would take to break Kakashi. and I'll be the Moon really delves into the complexity of love and relationships.

8. Story You Were Nervous To Post: Honestly, I'm nervous to post every story. No matter what someone says, writing is putting a piece of yourself out there for someone to take a look at. I was pretty nervous posting my first KakaYama smut which was in Surprised Disguise, where Kakashi surprises Tenzo as Sukea and gets way more than he bargained for. Distraction also made me nervous. It's a KakaSaku mututal pining where they enjoy themselves since they can't have each other.

9. How You Choose Your Titles: Luck of the draw? Most of my titles come from song lyrics that inspired the story in the first place. Sometimes they're spot on descriptors of what's in the story, but it's normally song lyrics because I'm not terribly creative. By the time I get to the title, i've used up all my creative prowess elsewhere.

10. Complete Works: Are you serious right now? There are so many if we count one shots. I started doing them all, then got bored about one page in and decided to hit the highlights after a point. These are the most recent one shots or notable ones.

- Collateral Damage (Overwatch, In which Ana has has had too many friendly fire incidents)

- Silent Pleasures (Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka have some not safe for work fun at work)

- Forever and Always (Naruto, Kakasaku one shot where he's badly injured on a mission)

- Aftermath (Overwatch, Jack has some regrets about how he left things with Gabe)

- Imposter (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo in which Kakashi is jealous of Tenzo's stuffie that looks like him)

- Relapse (Naruto, Kakashi/Sakura in which she slept with Sasuke while she and Kakashi might have had something between them)

- Worlds Collide (Naruto, Kakayama in which Tenzo is captured by Obito and turned against Konoha and Kakashi. Kakashi will save him no mater the price)

-I'll be the Moon (Naruto, Kakashi/Sakura in which she's married to Sasuke but it having an affair with Kakashi. It's a complex look at love, life, and relationships)

- Find Me in the Dark (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo in which Tenzo gets captured and tortured by Orochimaru)

- Lightning and Starlight (Naruto, in which Kakashi wasn't fast enough to stop Sakura from putting a chidori through Sakura's chest)

- Surprised Disguise (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo, in which flirting as Sukea has unexpected results)

- Flood (Naruto, in which Kakashi pulls a prank on Genma by telling him that Sakura is pregnant)

- Falling Cherry Blossoms (Naruto, Kakashi centric, where he loses nearly everyone and falls apart)

- Muddy Water (Naruto, Genma/Sakura, the crack fic that built a ship? When I wrote thie, there were almost no other stories with this pairing. Sakura takes a mission she's not prepared for and Genma saves her in more ways than one

11. Incomplete Works:

- Drabbles, Requests, and Things I Should Have Left Alone (this is my catch all file for all the random things, multiple fandom)

-Heart in a Silver Cage (Naruto, Genma/OC, enemies to lovers slow burn mission fic)

- Healing Hands (Naruto, Tenzo/Sakura glacial burn that deals with ptsd and mental health)

- Losing Control (Naruto, Genma/Sakura or maybe Kakashi/Sakura, in which Sakura is pregnant with Genma's child)

- Tongue in Cheek (Naruto/SWtoR crossover in which Genma and @cinlat s OC Fynta get into all kinds of trouble, probably in both worlds)

- Altered Reality (Naruto, Kakashi/Rin fix it fic in which she lived, they got married, and she's pregnant with their child but she can't remember it)

- Run to You (Naruto, Tsunade/Jiraiya falling in love, falling apart, and trying to reconcile together, spanning their whole relationship with vignettes)

- Save Yourself: Shadows and Regrets (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo falling in love in Anbu with a healthy dose of Genma humor thrown in)

12. Do you outline: Rarely, we die like men here. Honestly, once I outline it all, I lose interest. That said, both AR (Altered Reality) and Caged (Heart in a Silver Cage) have outlines. HH (Healing Hands) is roughly written and needs all the editing and shaping.

13. Coming Soon: Heaing Hands is the big coming soon because it's written, but I'm working on several Overwatch fics. My favorite is (You Held the Gun that) Fired First which is a massive reaper76 that includes Vincent, falling in love, falling into bed, and falling apart.

14. Best writing trait: Personally, I think I write emotions well. Angst is my favorite tbh @birkastan2018 once called me their angst dealer and it literally made my year lol

15. Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Gabriel's background story in Overwatch. I have all the ideas and none of the writing lol

16. Spicy Tangential Opinion: Honestly, I don't get triggered by too much either way. To each their own and if I dont' agree I can move on without blasting someone over something.

[oneyanderegirl]

To the stars, the Moon pleaded, " Stay."

Genre: One-shot, Angst Rating: T/M Sasuhina Month 2020  Theme: Day 1 (To the stars, the Moon pleaded, " Stay.")

A/N: It’s been a while since I wrote, but it feels good. I’m slowly chipping away at my other works as well, so hopefully I’ll be able to post them soon! I feel so rusty, so hopefully I’ll improve as the month goes on. Anyways, rated M at the mention of blood.

" Don't go."

He never believed in a God.

To him, the existence of God had died when he was seven. His brother had murdered his clan in cold blood on that single night and had killed his parents in front of him. That fateful night was when he knew that God didn't exist. For if there was such a thing as a God, why didn't he come save his family?

And although he would find out the reason many years later, it was already too late. The path that was carved for him that led to many years of suffering had already scarred the core of his soul in such a way that he could never recover again.

He was broken.

" S...sorry, Sasuke-kun, I don't think I can keep our promise anymore," She whispered.

Sasuke grabbed her hands with his own shaky ones. He gently stroked her hair before looking at her with a soft glance. He had always loved her long, dark hair. It was always soft and flowed with the wind making her look beautiful.

Yet now, it reminded him more of an abyss waiting to swallow her whole.

" Don't give up. You promised not to go." He whispered back.

She could hear the trembling in his voice. Sasuke was a man of few emotions. He had always kept a cool composure. It wasn't that he was emotionless, rather it was what he was forced to do in order to protect himself as a shinobi. She knew this. She knew that he wasn't the type to lose his composure like this.

Which was why it hurt her.

" Sorry," She said again.

" Hinata, please." He pleaded.

The trembling of his voice hurt her. She could feel the drips of tears touch her face. Whether they were her own or his, she couldn't tell.

It wasn't as if she wanted to leave. In fact, she wanted to stay. If Hinata had the choice, she would choose to remain by his side forever. If she had the choice, she would rather spend the nights entangled in his arms without a care in the world. But she didn't have a choice.

Rather, her body wouldn't let her.

When Hinata tried to speak again, she felt her throat cough something up. She could taste the metallic red fill her mouth as it spilled out to the sides of her lips.

Blood.

She was choking on her own blood.

" Don't say anymore. They'll be here soon,"

Sasuke held her body closer to him. He held her carefully, but firmly as if she was going to disappear at any moment if he didn't. His body only trembled more as he kept her close.

He didn't even notice the number of corpses around him. He didn't care either. He had killed them after all. He hadn't even realized because all he saw at that moment was Hinata's dying body. Sasuke knew it was they who did this, so he only returned the favor. But it didn't matter how many people he killed nor did it matter that he had left no survivors in case they tried to hurt her more.

She was already dying when he found her.

How many years had it been since he had felt this pain, this helplessness again? All the years of training and yet he couldn’t even protect the person he cared about. For what was the reason for all those years of training then? Didn’t he promise himself to not suffer anymore? Didn’t he say he wouldn’t go through that pain again?

So why was Hinata dying in front of him now?

He felt a gentle touch cup his face.

“ It’s...okay. It’s alright to let me go you know?”  She smiled.

Sasuke could feel her fingers run through the dark strands of his hair. It felt gentle and warm as her fingertips touched the side of his face. He closed his eyes letting her words sink in.

It only hurt him more.

“ Please..” He whispered.

“ Do...Do you remember that time when we were looking at the stars and I said you reminded me of the moon? Do you remember what you said after that?”

He could sense her breathing get heavier and heavier as she struggled to talk. He tried to beg her to stop, but couldn’t form the words to speak. He was afraid that speaking now would only break him.

“ You said...that if I reminded you of the moon...then you remind me...of the stars,”

Sasuke didn’t want to hear it anymore. He didn’t want to listen anymore. Each word cut him like a knife.

But he had to, he had to for her.

“ Well now… even though we may not be able to...see the stars together again next summer… at least-”

He could hear running footsteps approaching. He knew it was the medics.

“ Hinata, they’re almost here, stay awake a bit longer.”

Please.

“...I can...become a star now and…”

Her breathing became more shallow.

“ I can…”

He could hear the struggle in her voice.

“...Watch over you…”

He could feel her body become colder and weaker by the minute.

“...Forever.”  

Hinata finally closed her eyes.

The medics began calling out to them as he could hear their footsteps become louder as they ran closer.  

But it was too late.

By the time the medics had arrived, she had already closed her eyes. He wasn’t sure what happened next. It felt like a blur. One minute she was in his arms, the next she was in the hands of the medics. He didn’t move from his spot. He couldn’t move at all. He could only stare at the ground blankly as they took her away. He could only stare at his blood stained hands of what held the body of the woman he cared about only a few minutes prior.

It was over.

She was gone.

Everything was gone.

He suddenly felt tired. Tired of the world taking away everything he loved. Perhaps he wasn’t meant to be happy. Perhaps it was karma for all of the bad deeds he had done in the past. He didn’t know. Not that it mattered now.

Sasuke didn’t feel like living anymore.

“ She still has a pulse!” A voice cried.

He quickly turned to see who had said that. Who had given him a sliver of hope when he so desperately needed it at this moment? He could make out a woman with pink hair yelling at him from a distance.

Sakura.

“ Sasuke, I might still be able to save her. Go with Naruto and the others and wait for me. Wait for me. I promise you with my life that I will do what I can to save her, so please don’t give up right now! Don’t give up. For her sake, don’t give up.”

With that, he could see his teammate and the other medics carry Hinata out on a stretcher away from him, leaving him to himself. He could sense Naruto and the others approaching him but letting him have enough space for himself. They were waiting for him to get up because they knew he needed time to process everything that had transpired.

He clenched his hands together and bowed to the ground. He ignored the blood and dirt that covered his body as he stayed there. He didn’t care who saw him at the moment, He let the tears in his eyes come out as he felt the last of his composure crumble to the ground.

Sasuke never believed in a God.

But Sakura’s words had given him a sliver of hope. A hope that he had thought was long gone, yet it had surfaced from deep within his soul at this very moment. It was small like a flame from a lit up candle, but it was strongly ignited now. For the first time in a long time, Sasuke hoped for a miracle.

So he prayed.

He prayed to a God he didn’t believe in.

He prayed in hopes that if a God did exist that they would grant him his one wish.  

For if he really was the moon, what kind of moon would he be without his star? What kind of moon would he be without the beautiful star that had decided to shine a small light among the vast darkness that he resided in? Where would he be without her?

So Sasuke pleaded with God.

He pleaded for her to stay. He pleaded for her to stay with him. He pleaded for her to be safe. He didn’t know how many times he had pleaded with God, but he didn’t care. He would keep praying and pleading until God had heard his wish.

Because the only thing that mattered was her.

He didn’t know how much time had passed by the time he had left with the others. They had taken him to a tent so that he could rest, but Sasuke couldn’t rest. He was too busying waiting to hear back from the medics. He was too busy thinking about her.

As the sun started to set, Sasuke prayed one last time before finally succumbing to his own exhaustion. He prayed to God one more time, begging for his wish to be granted.

That night he had many dreams. Some were good, some were bad. However, no matter what kind of dream he had, they were always about her. And as he stayed asleep further into the night, he found himself replaying the events that had happened during the day.

Sasuke only hoped that the heavens would grant his wish and let Hinata live.

[snickiebear]

hello hello, nadia, let's get salty shall we :))) starting with no 1 ofc, 3, 4, 5, 13 (choose any character u want), 19, 20, 22, 23, 25 (again whatever ships/characters u want - tho i'm curious ab the "canon" ships o.o), 27 (feel free to choose any fandom u want too) I am DYING to know ur answers omg <33

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?HI ELE!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

SasuSaku and NaruHina. SasuSaku is just.... i dont like it. I don’t like Sasuke in canon and it feels so fucking forced. Same with NaruHina. I don’t read NaruHina unless its like a background relationship. like i could do a whole post about how both relationships are basically the damn fucking thing; badass man and girl who’s crushed/obsessed over the man their entire lives. it is... i dont like it.  

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

yes. yes i have. i dont even remember what fandom or what they said but if i dont like something, i unfollow. i dont want that stuff in my life and i have the choice to get it out so yeahhh (i think it either had to do with sakura/lucy heartfillia or maybe even a percy jackson thing,,,,)

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

SasuSaku. I hate it, really. unless its a total rewrite where Sasuke isn’t an asshole and Sakura isn’t obsessed with him and focuses on her development and then they get together later on and have been friends. i really don’t like it. i also don’t like canon NaruHina, it feels forced in my opinion, so same deal with SasuSaku, unless its an AU and the romance is actually developed, i dont like it. 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

i dont think so.... the only fandoms ive ever really been in are fairy tail, naruto, soul eater, and pjo and all of my fav pairings were usually fandom popular or widely accepted so not yet!

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

-i dont like canon sakura. oops! i watched the OG naruto and i would hold those small moments that i did like her so close to my chest and i was so so disappointed on how kishi handled her character. it just makes me upset but not surprised tbh so now ive made it my mission to write her with all the potential she had 

-sasuke deserves to be angry and go out and do his thing. but also, he should be held accountable for his actions. Yes. the uchiha were treated like shit and murdered for basically no fucking reason but still. he’s OP and just like your basic “lone wolf bitchass”. 

-same with naruto. i love sunshine boys. I DO. but he... doesn’t mature?? he stays naive and ignorant (from what i remember) and he’s so god damn OP. this fic summarizes the way i feel about Sasuke and Naruto. They’re great characters, sure, but im so thankful for critical thinking fic authors who give them depth and realistic lives/characteristics.  

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

-the toxicity towards woman. its pretty prominent in like all animes tbh. it makes my blood boil and like so angry that i try to steer clear from it 

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

LEESAKU. i love that ship with all my heart. i feel like they’d just be so good together. like if sakura got some actual character development and lee too, they’d be so kickass and soft together. 

22. Popular character you hate?

i don’t really HATE a character, but sasuke. he irks me. i would punch him in the face and shove him into a locked room with 10 therapists. 

23. Unpopular character you love?

kishimoto sucks. sure, he wrote one of the greatest anime/mangas around. but i feel like he bit off way more than he could chew. the character development could have been so much better, world building was great tho, and tho some of the arcs were creative as hell,, the writing could have been so much better. if given the chance, i would rewrite it. 

EDIT: IM SO SORRY LMFAO I MISREAD THE QUESTION

i do like Karin, or at least fanon's intpretation of her character. Tbh, i don't like most Canon naruto characteraztions, they bother me and i wanna go in and fix all of them

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

fairy tail: LET NATSU KISS LUCY GOD DAMNIT. 

naruto: i would need to rewrite the whole series; but in short, not have sakura want to go with sasuke. let her be happy by herself. let her want to grow in the village and help with the hospital. 

27. Least shippable character?

sasuke,,, maybe neji. but sasuke. i see him as such a flat character. like, he’s angry and stupid but ambitious. thats,,, thats it. oh! and he likes snakes and has no use for loyal friends??? idk if you can tell but i dont liek him LMAO

[animeyanderelover]

Hi and Hello! Congratulation on getting over 90 followers dear! You are doing great and you deserve all the attention. That aside, I decided to go through the submission route cuz of the character limits as I have a few special ideas that I'd like to propose to you:

1. Love letters/Creepy notes - You could always go the good old classic way of doing things and go with the love letters or more so obsessively creepy notes more so in this case XD

2. A sort of reverse AU - I was thinking as a special is supposed to be a thing you are not usually doing we could maybe go with "Yandere!Reader" and ship them with either canon or yandere version of the characters. It'll allow you to play with diffrent dynamics and would offer something unusual.

3. Music Shuffle - We compile a list of music (songs may have yandere/dark vibes or not) and send a character and a number and you'd write headcanons/drabble/stroy based on any idea/vibes you get of the song you'd got. (You can either keep the playlist hidden so we don't know what song is what number or we can offer a number of shuffles and you'd shuffle the playlist that many times around.) [Also I have a playlist of yandere-vibes songs if you'd like some idea for that.

4.A one word prompt drabbles. We'd send a character's name and one word for example "rose" or "music" and you'd have to write a short story/headcanons around any idea such word inspires.

5. An specific AU the ones that come to forefront of my mind:

a) Soulmate AU - A classic. Headcanons/Drabbles placed in a Soulmate AU I have seen some really nice lists of such AUs if you'd like to look at them. Either we could sent a specific Soulmate type AU or you could choose one.

b) Fantasy AU - We could set the character in a position they are not usually in making some of the characters folklore/magical creatures and the like or switch around what they are. Like Angel!Sebastian or Nymph!Sakura kind of thing.

c) Hanahaki disease AU or the unrequired love disease AU - Hanahaki is a fictional disease that makes flowers grow around people's heart and lungs making them spit out flowers/petals untill the roots of the plant crushes the heart/lungs or suffocates the victim. It's born out of unrequired love and can be cured only by getting one's feelings returned or having it surgically removed loosing all feelings (for the person). It could be a interesting thing to play around within a yandere universe.

d) We could always make it a AU kind of event and send characters and a AU we'd like them in for the event as well.

Alright that's all I have atm but I may or may not send additional ideas at a later date as well.

Love you :)

animeyanderelover: Okay, let’s go through each of this individually.

The first idea sounds definitely very appealing to me and this is definitely something I would like to try.

The second one on the other hand is a bit risky for me since I like to keep it clean. Yandere!Reader and letting the s/o die are points where I’m very unsure if I want to write this.

The third idea seems like fun as well, but the problem here is that I only listen to K-pop, Anime music and Disney songs and I’m not very experienced with anything different so I would need some other songs as well. I think songs with Yandere or dark vibes would fit the best in here and I think if I’ll do this then I’ll do two separate playlists. One for K-pop and one for all the others.

The fourth might be a bit hard since it’s only one word, but as long as the word isn’t something too ridiculous I’m confident that I can do it.

The fifth point is something I already want to do. I even wrote in the rules for the Yandere Prompt List that if someone wishes for a Soulmate AU they just have to mention it in the request. The only point where I’m unsure about is c). I need to think about this point a bit more until I’m sure that I can imagine it well enough.

Thank you for this🥰🥰. It must have taken some time to think about this and write it❤️❤️❤️.

[7team7]

Choosing Fate: Chapter 4

Helping or hurting? // Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

A/N: Happy birthday to the best girl ever, Uchiha Sakura!! I also posted a super short one shot yesterday, so consider that an homage to her as well :D

.

.

After the strangeness of living with a new family wore off a bit, Sakura started growing dreadfully bored. She couldn’t think about her parents and siblings for too long without growing teary eyed. The house was quiet most of the time, even when the entire family was home. Even when she tiptoed, she felt like the floors always creaked beneath her feet and she could never achieve the silent grace of the Uchihas. 

She tried making small talk with Sasuke but it usually ended quickly and in an awkward silence. It seemed that to him, a good life was a productive life, so he often met her efforts with a cutting, “What are you doing?” If she wasn’t keeping busy, it didn’t seem worth his time or understanding.

The jokes and smiles that flowed so freely in her childhood home were nowhere to be found here. She tried to think of different ways to spend time with him that didn’t include eating with his parents. He was a tough nut to crack. If they had to court each other before marriage, they both would’ve done a terrible job, she thought.

When she found him in their room packing up for another trip with his father one morning — this time, hunting — she offered to go with him, as silly as it sounded. She was just desperate. 

But Sasuke didn’t see the point at all and quickly wrote her off, “There’s no need. You would just get in the way. We’re almost ready anyways.”

She bit her lip, “Ah, you’re right. Sorry, I wasn’t sure. Just trying to help. This whole marriage thing is new to me too.” She forced out a laugh. 

“Sakura,” he started awkwardly, “I don’t want this just as much as you don’t.” He had paused in his packing and found her wringing her hands with a hopeful expression, but the light quickly dimmed in her eyes after he finished speaking. 

What were meant to be words of comfort were interpreted as words of cruelty, words that distanced. “I know you don’t want me, Sasuke,” she said, already exasperated. “But you don’t have to always make it seem that way. You can pretend for a second and be nice to me.” 

In a moment of frustration, he spit, “We don’t have to love each other to be married, you know.”

Sakura laughed without humor, “Trust me, I know. You think I want to love someone like you, let alone be married? Like you said, this is as bad as it is for me as it is for you. At least I’m trying to make the best of things.” Everyday, she discovered ways they were different. She didn’t understand him, but she wanted to. He was making it near impossible; they wouldn’t make any progress when she was always being kept at arm’s length. 

She marched out of their room quickly and left him to continue his preparations. She didn’t want to cry, and she knew seeing his face would’ve set her off. An apology rested on the tip of his tongue, but his pride held it back. 

He felt a strange sense of guilt settle in the bottom of his stomach when she still sent him off with a perfectly made bento.

.

It had been two weeks since Sasuke returned from the hunting trip and things were icy between him and Sakura. She was always polite, but she wasn’t extending herself the way she used to. Even if he knew he could find the answer through introspection, he wondered what was wrong with her. The house felt dimmer than ever.

Their little argument faded into the background when new and more important issues needed to be addressed. What Mikoto originally waved off as spring allergies eventually revealed itself to be a nasty flu. “It’s all the pollen in the air, you know,” she insisted even after her first attempt at speaking was cut off by a bout of coughing. Where Sasuke was panicked and uncertain, Sakura was calm and composed — the water to his fire.

Sasuke admired how Sakura never left her bedside and cared for her when he couldn’t. He was surprised, even, that she would dedicate so much time to someone who, while friendly with her, was still a bit of a stranger. It would’ve been more convenient to call a doctor, but Sakura claimed she had it under control. His father, stoic as ever, still proceeded with all their plans. Even Itachi and Izumi were forbidden to visit lest they catch the same flu and spread it around. “She has Sakura,” Fugaku said matter of factly when Sasuke expressed concern over leaving Mikoto alone. They set out on a scheduled trip, taking care to wash up, but trusting Mikoto in Sakura’s hands.

When Sasuke was at home, he still left it to Sakura as she proved to be far more capable than him. Her hearty soups and cups of tea were always heated to the perfect temperature. She washed the bedding often, making sure her mother-in-law was always as comfortable as possible. She carried a heavy bucket of water into the room to keep a damp cloth on Mikoto’s forehead without spilling a drop. She even ordered Sasuke to go to the market and buy a specific herb that was nowhere to be found in their kitchen. 

Upon returning, he found her asleep against the foot of the bed. He felt bad that he had to wake her up, but he had no idea what to do with said herb. He felt, in a word, useless. But Sakura roused easily and thanked him as she blinked the sleep away. He watched as she expertly ground it into a fine powder, adding it to another cup of tea. Sasuke made a note of the process; next time he would let her sleep.

Anyone who displayed so much care for his mother was worthy of praise, he decided. 

He caught her in the backyard enjoying the brilliant sunset and a bit of fresh air after she deemed Mikoto healthy again, a week later. “I wanted to say thank you for taking such good care of her,” he started. “She always wanted a daughter, and I know she was sad when Itachi and Izumi moved out. Both my parents felt that way, really. She was very happy when it was decided that you would move in so soon after.” He didn’t really know why he was telling her all of this — in fact, it was probably the largest amount of words he’d ever said to her — but it felt like he owed her now more than ever. 

Sakura laughed lightly, “Well, I’m glad at least one person was happy I came here.” It really was reassuring, she had felt like an intruder for so long. Honestly, Mikoto was lovely and Sakura would willingly help her anytime. The circumstances of them living together were just a little unfortunate. Sasuke responded very seriously, “It’s not just her who appreciates it.” She, in spite of all her annoying tendencies, was growing on him. When he noticed the pretty blush dusting her cheeks, he quickly changed the subject. He really didn’t want to explore the implications of his words or her reaction.

“How did you even know what to do?” Sasuke asked bluntly. 

Sakura laughed again, and Sasuke still couldn’t help notice the way the fullness of her pink cheeks made her eyes crease at the corners. Such a useless piece of information, yet he couldn’t look away. “I have so many siblings, someone is always sick. We usually couldn’t afford an actual doctor, so it was always up to me to figure things out.” Sasuke nodded and looked out into the yard. None of the grasses or plants were quite the color of her eyes. 

He found himself thinking she’d make an amazing mother. He had been praised for his looks his whole life, and he took after his mother. He knew if their child took after Sakura, they would be beautiful.

He headed back inside when he noticed his heart rate speeding up. He tried convincing himself that maybe he was just getting sick too.

.

After Mikoto made a complete recovery, she set out to visit her friends and family that had been kept away by Sakura’s orders. And once again, without someone or something to attend to, Sakura only felt trapped inside the house. The chores she used to despise growing up were ones she now wished she could pass the time doing. Was her father minding his back in the fields? Were her mother’s joints hurting with the change in the weather? 

Sasuke noticed Sakura staring out the window, looking terribly bored and melancholy on more than one occasion. He finally found the time to stop and talk to her, something he knew he should do more often.

“What are you doing?” He had something to give her, but was she..busy?

“I want my life back,” she stated dully while continuing to look out the window.

He sighed. She didn’t even try to sugarcoat it. Their marriage wasn’t his choice, but he was beginning to feel like some of her misery was directly a result of his neglect. And he didn’t like the way that weighed on him. “I’m not a thief,” he answered simply before placing a thick book on the table next to her, titled A Beginners Guide to Medicine.

He had never seen her eyes so bright.

.

Sasuke took it upon himself to tutor Sakura from that point on. Even if they weren’t yet suited to being husband and wife, they didn’t have to ignore each other’s existence. Tutoring her gave him a goal, it helped orient their relationship. And she was an excellent student: diligent and hungry for knowledge. 

He discovers that there are gaps in her education, from times when she had to devote herself to helping in the fields or raising her siblings. He had always thought of being educated as a binary: either you are or you aren’t. She hardly seemed embarrassed, rather she was more determined to catch up to Sasuke’s level. He admired her impetus and found himself regretting taking his school days for granted. He couldn’t help but think the village would have been a lot more prosperous if someone like Sakura had been allowed to put her mind to solving its problems. 

Sakura grew to admire Sasuke, just a little bit. He was a strict teacher, but a knowledgeable and clear one. She had his full attention for once, and his intensity was impressive.

She privately decides to accept the book and his teachings as a birthday gift.

.

.

A/N: I wanted to draw parallels to Sakura taking care of Sarada, and provide some sneak peeks into how Sakura gets into medicine in this AU. Also anyone catch the New Order reference?? Haha superheated is one of my favorite songs ever, so I just wanted to throw something in when I got the chance. There’s a lot packed into this chapter, hopefully it was ok! Sakura please tell everyone to stay home and flatten the curve :(

[adhd-sakura]

may i.... present to you a concept..... autistic sai?

Oh my god you abso-fucking-lutely may!! I love Sai so much and he’s like…autistic king. Cannonically. I’ve actually talked about this before with @comradesai​ a while ago, lol. To quote myself; 

‘The inability to comprehend superfluous social skills/norms? The special interest in art, that he maintained even through ROOT Hell? trying to be nice but being awkward? Not being able to really vibe with Naruto and Sakura’s struggles chasing after Sasuke- especially the scene where he blames Sakura b/c he’s *trying* but he still can’t *Really* understand whats going on with Sasuke? I can go on. I love him. I love him So Much.’

And I will go on! Because I love sai so much and I wrote that months ago!

-he dresses the way he does because he has weird sensory issues. Like thats it. In a feral overstimulated rage he tore off one of his sleeves and kept it that way because the irregular air patterns blowing on his skin were something he could focus on to calm down

-when he first meets team seven, he legitimently is never rude on purpose and just has *that* poor social skills. Like he actually is trying he’s just really bad at it.

-however after a year or so he’s grown enough that he comprehends that he’s rude sometimes, but he can’t quite tell when all the time and it’s exhausting to keep track of and also he’s grown enough to have a sense of humor and lowkey finds it really funny lik 70% of the time because him being autistic (he is) does not stop him from being an absolute bitch (he IS).

-the other 30% of the time he’s frustrated because things are still hard to understand but he’s trying. This is aided by the fact that he’s on team 7, a team which banned sarcasm of all types on pain of fire at age 12 and have now EXTRA BANNED sarcasm of all types on pain of rabid god level teenagers b/c they FEEL Sai (ala my sarcasm team 7 post from way back when). 

-speaking of; he studies Sakura’s ‘sarcasm comprehension’ flashcards/curriculum religiously, and it’s the only reason he can keep up with Ino (who is his therapist and best bitch-friend). Sakura is glad that her hard work is appreciated for once, because her other boys either ignored, forgot, or disregarded it.

-his empathy is like. Almost nonexistant. It’s a combination of trauma and autism, but he literally can not comprehend most emotions enough to give appropriate responses. The most he can usually do is sit guard over someone while they freak out/break down to keep them safe and offer an ear to their problems while he calls Ino, who actually knows what the fuck she’s doing.

-He can’t eat dango because it’s sticky and he hates sticky food. One time he got a cold so Sakura gave him honey tea to soothe his throat and he threw it in her face.

-On the other hand, he samefoods Tofu. Until he met team seven, literally the only thing he would eat was Tofu and food/chakra/blood pills. Like that was it he grew up in hell he got to choose the same food

-His dedication to routine is one of the reasons that it’s so hard for him to break his root conditioning. 

-Ya know his whole ‘super fake smile’ motif thing? It’s cause he doesn’t know how to do ‘correct’ facial expressions

-he is super nit-picky about hand writing. He refuses to read anything, /anything/, that Naruto or Sakura write ever. Like they hand him a piece of paper and he looks them in the eyes and tells them that he can’t read and then goes back to studying ettiquite books.

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Alt. Timeline: Todoroki ver. [Part 1]

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

Star tears in which Todoroki falls for Momo first.

shortly after the exam with Aizawa he doesn’t know what he’s feeling but just admires her strength and quick thinking

and him hanging out with Deku and Iida at lunch means Todo hears all the nice and good things Momo does when she and Iida to discuss class prez stuff

which intensifies this ??admiration?? and respect more

and he just?? Holds onto those feelings unable to figure out what they are until idk maybe holidays where 1A and 1B throw that holiday hotpot party

and Momos really cute lookin’ in that Santa hat she made with the festive turtleneck

and so that feeling inside Todo grows into something more??? bc "oh shit she cute".... and Todo’s blushing while looking at her from afar. Probably.

so Todo talks to Fuyumi abt it and Fuyumi’s like: “I think you like her Shouto”

and he writes to his mom abt it and Rei's like: “she sounds like a lovely girl Shouto”

and he texts Natsuo abt it and Natsu's like: “aw little bro has a crush”

but all the while this is happening, Momo's gotten closer with Iida over class prez stuff and hero stuff and everyone in 1A (read: mina and hagakure) think iimomo might be a thing???

ofc Momo denies it and making excuses politely like "no no ofc not we're being responsible class prez and vice prez" but she’s kinda stuttery while doing so, so no one buys it

and no ones brave enough to ask Iida except Ochako but he gives some straight laced answer like "i admire her work ethic and respect her as a hero and vice prez" but he also has some tint of blush across his cheeks

so idk fast forward to graduation where Todo's been holding onto these feelings for Momo since first year and iimomo is still very very likely

so its all cherry blossom petals flying around and congratulatory celebrations

and when Todo sees Momo amongst the sakura trees smiling like he's never seen before (bc they're finally officially heroes!!) he thinks she’s beautiful

but just as he's about to approach her, Iida approaches her and Todo can see she's blushing and he knows its really not good to eavesdrop on one of his best friends and the girl he likes

But... he's curious.

or so he lies to himself.

Ofc what he hears isnt what he ever wants to,,,,

cuz Iida just confessed to her.

and she feels the same.

and a star tear slips from Todo's eye as he walks away.

he stops mid step as he touches his cheek bc he didnt even realize he was crying

but what are these tears??? What’s happening?? He's never had these before bc even though Todo is an emotional crier, he doesn’t cry that often.. only when he is completely overwhelmed with emotion

so he has this dumbfounded expression staring at his fingers as these star tears are twinkling out of his eyes catching sunlight and sakura petals

until he hears "Youre a fucking idiot" from a few steps away

Bakugou. 

(Baku really likes eavesdropping ok its not the first time lol)

Baku: theyre called star tears.

Todo: You know what these are?

Baku: it happens when you like someone and that person doesnt like you back, idiot.

Todo: ... oh.

Baku: get that shit sorted or you'll go blind

(And for those who are curious, yes maaaayyybe Bakugou has a case of the stars in this timeline too, that’s how he knows. To whom? I'll let you decide bc honestly, I just want todobaku brotp bonding over unrequited love)

so now Todo thinks he might be fucked. One of his best friends confessed to the girl he likes too and she likes him back and now Todo has this disease that might make him go blind and might get in the way of heroing (which they've all secured post graduation positions by now) and what can he do about it?

nothing, says the doctor he sees. The disease is not curable and the only way to stop it is to have your feelings returned else you'll go colour blind and then completely blind, so he's told.

ya he's really fucked.

maybe its a good thing then, that he doesnt cry often. It makes it easier to ice over these feelings, freeze them in time with the memories of U.A.; of his last congratulations to her and her smile at the end of the ceremony an hour after he overheard that confession

maybe its another good thing that right after graduation, everyone went off to their own positions as side kicks with agencies across japan, focusing on heroing

but its 3 months after graduation that Iida tells Deku and Todoroki that he is seeing Momo when they meet up every Friday to catch up

its 6 months after graduation that its publicly announced in Hero Magazine that Ingenium and Creati are dating

its 9 months after graduation that he sees Iida and Momo attending the Hero Association's rising stars gala as a couple and are seated at the same table as them

(Bakugou is scowling at him across the table.)

Todo tries. He really does. To be happy for them.

but he's angry at himself that he can't be happy for them. That it saddens him to see Momo glowing under the ballroom lights but its not himself to make her shine like that, its Iida. That he sees she is the one to make Iida genuinely happy in the way his eyes light up when he smiles at her.

and all three times Todo goes home, lies down alone in his room, an arm slung across his forehead as the star tears leak from his eyes.

he starts to lose seeing colour at 12 months.

after 24 months he needs glasses for colour correction (and ironically gets a sponsorship with the brand. The fashion magazines print headlines for weeks "Hot-Cold Hero Shouto Fall Fashion! See page 7 spread for his newest spotted specks and turtle necks")

at 36 months Iida breaks the news. Iida's gonna propose to Yaoyorozu and wants him, Deku, and his brother to be his groomsmen

she said yes.

and a part of Todo washes away with the star tears flooding him room and twinkling against the tatami.

he tries to stay out of the wedding planning as much as possible. He'll go to the tuxedo fittings as requested and still keep up hearing the updates when seeing Iida and Deku for their weekly get together on Friday nights. 

But for anything involving Momo's presence, there will always be a "sorry i have a mission that week", "sorry im visiting my mom", "sorry Endeavor needs to see me about the agency"

... all excuses Bakugou knows, but the others pay no mind. They are rising heroes near the top of the billboard by now

month 48. Wedding day.

she's stunning. Gorgeous. A near goddess walking down the aisle on her big day.

but she's not walking down for him. No its for iida.

there was the ceremony, the cheers, the congratulations, the reception. Fairy lights around the dance floor and along the walls, champagne glittering after the sound of a cork

Todoroki stands off to against the wall as the night dies down, a glass in hand, watching the newly weds grace the dance floor.

someone slides up beside him, he feels the presence. Bakugou.

"She's beautiful isnt she?"

"Yeah."

. . .

a star tear falls from Todoroki's eyes, twinkle hidden among the fairy lights and champagne glitter.

she's beautiful, but maybe its a good thing I can't see

somebody said: what if she knows everything that had happened and the reason why he couldn't continue his career is bc of her?

me: ok you’re asking for it

Momo, 3 months pregnant with iimomo baby, announces with Iida the news to their friends

the soon to be parents want to choose godparents for the baby so Iida gets to choose the baby’s godmother and Momo gets to choose the godfather

and ofc along with the announcement Momo asks Todoroki to be the kid’s godfather

he can’t say no to her.

the same week later Todo and Momo's agencies are requested to deal with this one villain case while Ingenium's agency deals with another in another town (later turns out the cases were connected)

small talk, civil, very professional between Momo and Todo when they’re in the debriefing

at this point Todo's pretty much completely blind and uses some special contact lenses from Hatsume to help "see"

but the contact lenses can only do so much as to detect light movement and shadows and it reallllllllly doesnt work well when he's using his fire 

so Todo already had tossed around the idea of running away to the mountains like Roy did in the FMA 2003 ending, "mysteriously" retiring bc really his vision cannot keep up

until this last mission with Momo

and really its been nearly a decade now since they last worked together side by side (not since U.A. he thinks).. so just let the blind man be selfish one last time

and so smth smth missiom happens, Todo and Momo fighting side by side

but Momo senses there’s something off with Todo's movements? His reflexes are slower.. it doesnt seem like he's prediciting the opponents moves like he used to.. he's more so reacting and retaliating than attacking..

she chalks it up to that they havent fought side by side in a long time and his style must’ve changed and really, she doesnt know him anymore... not like she used to

smth smth 3 months pregnant Momo gets hurt, knocked unconscious for a bit

Todo saves her

and when she comes to, while Todo's holding her, star tears fall onto her cheek from Todo's eyes. 

She's shocked. Reaches up to gently graze a finger tip at his left cheek.

"Todoroki-san, these are?"

and again its like Todo didnt realize he was crying. He jerks away from her hand and brushes her off with "its nothing”. Changes the subject with "are you ok?"

Momo: yes.. i think so

Todo: and the baby?

Momo, sitting up: we're ok I think

Todo, moving away: good

the mission concludes and they meet up with Ingenium’s group to wrap up the two ends. Todo slips away before Iida and Momo and approach him

theres no activity from Todoroki for the next month

neither Iida, Deku or anyone else in 1A know where he went except the Hero Association's vague comment on "Hot Cold Hero Shouto has taken a sudden indefinite hiatus"

(Only Todo’s family knows and Endeavor asked the Association to say "hiatus" instead of "retirement" bc Enji wants to believe in his son making a comeback. He didnt stop Shouto from taking off)

and ofc Momo upon hearing this is so confused??? Her last mission with him was the last time she saw him and he was crying. Why was he crying? Strange star tears twinkling and landing on her cheeks? What even is that phenomenon?

its too many questions and ofc Momo's gonna investigate. For the sake of her friend.

so she digs up all the texts she can find on star tears. Internet search all the possibilities. Consults the doctors at the hospital. Even asks Tenya if Todoroki has been acting strangely during their weekly catch ups.

but Tenya tells her Todoroki hasnt been the the meet ups since after their wedding

so she asks anyone in their pro hero circle of associates she can think of. Tsukiyomi, Burnin', heros from his agency, anyone she can think of that has worked with Todoroki before and could comment on his behaviour

no body knows. No body noticed anything different either. Sure there were some off days but the Hot Cold Hero Shouto was always on his game being one of the top 3 heroes on the billboard charts

she searches and searches, splitting time interviewing colleagues and researching the possible star tears phenomenon

until eventually her search takes her to...

Bakugou.

Of course.

Momo, pleading: please Bakugou, you know something about him dont you?

Bakugou, who at this point had been very careful trying not to get cornered knowing her investigation: save it pony tail, you’re about to have a baby. Go have people harass you about that brat in your oven instead of harassing other people

Momo, nearly begging: please. You and I both know he's strong and a good hero that would not suddenly retire. Whatever he is doing, he might need help.. please tell me Bakugou.

... theres something about pregnant women that you cant say no to.

Bakugou, relenting: tch. The half ass is somewhere in Yokohama

and thats all she needs nearly running waddling (as fast as a pregnant woman could) out the door

Bakugou, calling out after her, still reluctant: when find that half ass, i suggest you throw him a gift. Literally. Throw it at him. He deserves it.

she finds him along the port, watching the sunset in Yokohama (its really not that hard to find someone with heterochromia and two tone hair in a city, especially if youre a hero that knows what methods heroes will use to go incognito)

and for some inkling of a feeling, Momo takes Bakugou's advice. She has a carton of strawberry milk in hand.

Momo, a few feet away from him: Todoroki-san, it's been a while.

Todo, turning his head in her direction: Yaoyorozu...?

Momo, sadly smiling: the sunset is beautiful here isnt it?

Todo, brows furrowing: .. sure. Yaoyorozu what are you doing here--

Momo, interrupting him: --i brought some snacks. Strawberry milk, you liked this while we were in school right? Catch.

she tosses it at him.

he tries to reach out.

But he'es completely off. And misses

Momo, sad: Todoroki-san. You're blind, arent you?

Todo, guilty: ah.

Momo, tearing up: will you please tell me?

he still can say no to her and confesses his story

and when he's finished telling the tale of star tears, the stars above are twinkling too

she's crying and choking and sobbing through tears and its intensified by baby Iida with pregnancy hormones

But the last thing she manages to croak out at the very least is still wholly her

She apologizes

“Im so sorry Todoroki- san. I cant love you that way.”

“I know.”

END NOTES:

red is the last color Todoroki wanted to lose because it reminds him of Momo

during missions, as long as he could see her, “that’s ok” he thought. she is the only one he sees in color. that is okay with him

to him, Momo is his shining star. And there’s something tragically poetic of him losing his sight to the stars if its for his shining star Momo

He leaves the last stars in a tiny little jar like those paper stars as a gift for her with just the words on a note "goodbye Momo" the day after she finds him in Yokohama

Momo has the jar of stars forever on her bedside and looks at them with this melancholy expression. Baby Iida grows up and asks mom: "what is that jar of stars?" 

Momo responds: "a gift from someone that was blinded by love"

Bakugou in this timeline had a case of star tears too but I'd like to think he got his feelings requited so he never went blind to contrast Todo

So thats why Baku is (begrudgingly) sympathetic to Todo cuz he thinks: “that could’ve been me”

The ending shot of a blind Todoroki in a dark room, all alone, eyes closed, thinking back to Momo's shining smile from UA surrounded by star light with a sad smile on his face and it fades to black

> archives masterpost

[behindheremeraldeyes]

title: Pulse . summary: He knows she wakes up every night to see if he’s alive. He can feel her touch and her fears, and even if he knows there isn’t much he can do, he will still offer her all the comfort he can give her right now. ffnet // Ao3

. a/n: FINALLY! Ahh! It’s been so long since I last wrote something!! College this semester killed me, and when my computer broke, I just wanted to cry (I’ve lost a bunch of fics there, you guys… I’m still trying to recover my HD, though). Well, but now everything will go back to normal. This one is a small one that I wrote a couple of months ago, and I personally love this one. I like to write about this kind of things, and even if I feel a bad about the characters, I think it’s important for these kind of things to be explored. I like to explore them, at least. I’m gonna shut my mouth now and leave you guys to it! Hope you enjoy it, and please, tell me what you think! It’s good to be back! . . . It’s been two weeks since she first started touching him at night.

Emotionless, meticulous and precise, their skin brush against one another every night after the clock strikes 3 am. It’s a new, peculiar habit of his wife that has been repeating itself every dawn for the past 14 days, and even if at first he didn’t really care about it, things eventually started to lose control. It’s not a simple, accidental touch caused by her body shifting at night, and it’s not something meaningless, for he can clearly feel the way she relaxes after doing so.

There’s something odd going on with her, and the fact that she won’t tell him a thing only makes him even more worried. Sakura is a stubborn woman, and after everything they’ve gone through, Sasuke knows better than to simply ignore her silent secrets.

The whole thing starts with the weight of her body shifting under the mattress, and the sound of the covers sliding through her body. Her breathing also changes, growing heavier, and an almost imperceptible, warm breeze tickles his lips, indicating that her face is now turned to his. Moments after that— after she’s kept herself quiet for a little too long— he feels her soft palm sliding across his arm, stopping as she reaches the heels of his hand.

It feels warm and soothing. It feels nice for him, but he knows that there’s nothing nice about the way his wife is acting.

Her two fingers, then, press against his wrist, and he soon feels his pulse against her digitals. It feels as if she’s checking his heartbeats, just to make sure he’s still alive and sleeping safely, and it’s only after she confirms it that she can allow herself to go back to sleep.

It’s a strange habit that, at first, he mistook as a one-night thing that would eventually disappear within the passing days. At first, it appeared to be something simple, but eventually, Sasuke realized that his wife was doing all that because she actually is afraid. She’s afraid of her past like she has been a couple of times before, and since he knows her like the back of his hand, he doesn’t need his eyes to identify her silent, anxiety attacks kicking in once again.

Perks of being a ninja, he thinks. A ninja— as he knows— who has been faking smiles and dressing in thorns every day for past couple of years simply for coming back alive from the hell where many of her comrades didn’t return.

Sakura will never forgive herself for that. Even if everyone tells her that she can’t save the entire world, as the medic ninja she is, she can’t simply accept that. She never will, and there’s nothing he or anyone can do about it.

It’s her trauma. Her regrets and her failures.

And even if he doesn’t like to see his wife fighting her own demons alone, as her husband and as a ninja himself, he knows that there isn’t much he can do to help. He doesn’t understand why she does that, and to be honest, he doesn’t really need to understand something she possibly doesn’t understand either. These things, Sasuke knows, don't always have a logical explanation behind them. They simply exist, haunting and cursing those who have gone through hell and back, and will forever have to live with the constant fear of being trapped in that traumatic reality.

Sakura is being haunted by her own demons now and she’s the only one who holds the power to seal them in the depths of her heart.

He can’t fight them for her. He can’t win her battles and he can’t save her this time.

But he can be there for her, just like she’s always been there for him.

And so, tonight, when her warm breath finally brushes his cheeks, the male Uchiha finally does what he has been craving to do for a long time now. His eyes snap open, blending in with the darkness of the room, and in a quick move, he’s already holding her wrist, preventing it from touching him. No words escape his lips, as he simply looks at her, taking in every information offered by her body as he's silently asking her to let him help.

He looks at her in search of the answers she needs to go back to sleep.

And right now, the only answer he finds is that Uchiha Sakura is afraid.

“ Sakura. What are you doing?"

As he holds her wrist, he can feel the way she’s trembling under his touch, and her curled up body doesn’t go unnoticed by his observant eyes. Her lips are slightly parted in a surprised expression, and her eyes— oh, those beautiful, fearless emerald eyes— are widened in pure horror, with tears threatening to fall from their sides. Thanks to the dim light that enters their room from the streets, her orbs look darker than they normally are, and there’s no hopeful light or shining confidence coming from them right now.

His wife is horrified, but as the seconds go by and she shifts her gaze away from his, Sasuke also notices that, apart from all the fears ruining her perfect image right now, Sakura is also ashamed.

Ashamed of looking like a little girl afraid of the dark, and ashamed of harboring something so ridiculous and illogical as her husband lying dead on the cold, dirty ground of the battlefield. She bites her lower lip until a metallic taste lingers over her tongue, and immediately after she frees herself from his grip, she turns away from him in an attempt to hide herself from her own, condemning thoughts. Her arms are wrapped around herself now, and even if her entire body seems to be falling apart, she manages to find strength to mutter some words.

“ It’s nothing… It was just a nightmare.”

“ It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“ Don’t worry about it, okay? Sorry to wake you up, Sasuke-kun. Go back to sleep.”

“ Oi, don’t you—“

“ Go back to sleep, Sasuke-kun!… Please.”

He listens to the way she’s heavily breathing through her mouth, and he can see the way her nails are digging into the skin of her arms. The pinkette is losing it, and he knows that he has to do something before she hurts herself even more. Even if she doesn’t want his help and even if he doesn’t really think it will solve her problems, Sasuke knows he has to try, at least.

He can’t just watch as she silently destroys herself.

He can’t simply watch his wife suffering and go back to sleep as if nothing is happening in front of him.

No. He won’t leave her alone. He won’t go back to sleep.

After making up his mind, the male Uchiha simply allows himself to do what he judges to be the right thing. In a soft, protective move, Sasuke encircles her waist with his arm, pulling her closer against his chest and making sure to keep her there no matter how hard she tries to free herself. This is not something he’s used to and it’s certainly not something he does frequently, but right now he believes it will be the best thing he can do to help the the woman he loves.

“ W-What are you doing?! Stop it, Sasuke!”

Just like when he was little— when the world was still innocent and his life wasn’t still fucked up by revenge— and wanted someone to comfort him when the nights were too long; Sasuke wraps her in his arms, as if to assure her that, no matter what, he’s here.

He’s here and will always be, and no matter what’s going on in her mind right now, and no matter how she’s trying to push him away, he won’t let anything hurt her.

Not even her own thoughts. Not even herself.

“ I’m alive.” He whispers against the shell of her ear, his hot breath tickling her nape, and immediately, he feels her body stiffening under his touch. Sakura stops struggling, choosing, instead, to remain silent and wait for him to finish his speech. She needs to hear his words more than ever now. She needs to hear his voice, and as she grips his hand tightly, her husband knows exactly what to say. “ You’ve saved me, Sakura. There’s no blood anymore. Thanks to you, we’re alive.”

He doesn’t say things like ‘things will be better’ or ‘ you’ve done all you could’ because he knows this won’t help her. In fact, these are the kind of promises his wife doesn’t need right now for she knows things won’t get better— they never truly do— and she knows she could’ve done more. She should have given up her life for the others, for fuck’s sake. Sakura acknowledges her mistakes and right now, she doesn’t need to be reminded of them.

Right now, she needs to feel safe. And the truth is the only thing he can offer her.

After what felt like an eternity of uncertainty, he finally feels her body relaxing and a warm, salty drop falls on his arm. She shifts so her face is now buried in his chest, and it’s only when she lets out a deep, suffocated sigh that he finally relaxes with her. He feels her hot breath against him now and his hand on her back follows the calm rhythm of her ribcage going up and down. Her lavender scent invades his nostrils, and he adjusts his chin over her head so he can hold her closer.

This is it, he knows. This is the best thing he can do for her.

He can be with her and take care of her while she takes care of the things that are out of his reach. Right now, he needs to provide her support while she fights her own battles, and more than ever, he will have to believe in her strength.

More than anyone, Sasuke knows his wife is a strong woman, and one day— because it won’t be today and probably not tomorrow either— she won’t need his silence, his pulse or his arms, and she will get over her trauma.

One day she, will be able to sleep again.

And when that day comes, he will be there.

fin.

[shadowdianne]

Ok people. Time has come. Let’s be ominous and extra on main

So the order for me posting all my WIPS at once will probably be.... the order in where I finish doing all the editing. I’m currently in my last prompts. I’ll still answer the ones I recieve by the end of the week if there is anyone feeling like sending me some.

Aside from that ...

A few months ago I posted a really rambling text about me leaving the SQ fandom writer wise after the SuperNova was over. In the way it’s over once we all put the fics where they will, later on, be revealed. The full explanation of why I’m doing this is even more rambly than the one I gave and is full of nuances that I’ve talked about a little bit with a few of you.

However, I want to say something about it either way. Because words are the way I communicate the most with. And that’s something that I guess is obvious about myself in a myriad of different ways; not only with my fics.

As I’ve said a few times before, SwanQueen was not my first fandom. If I need to pin it to the moment when I actively began to search for fandom-related things, of how I first stumbled into fics and what that entailed…

Going really back in time my first fandom experience was with Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura. Yup, that. I was really into anime back in the day and, don’t ask me how, I stumbled into a website that no longer exists that had these pages upon pages on something people called “fics”.

It was around the same time I was building my own sexual identity so you can imagine the mess; I devoured those fics. Most of them were not even good. Most of them had some questionable themes thrown around. Most of them had language on them that I needed a few years until I realized that was hurtful. But some others taught me what “angst” meant, what “hurt/comfort” was, why “fluff” was about or why “smut” at my tender age of 12/13 was something I wasn’t entirely grasping.

Again, I devoured those fics, I searched for more, I found livejournal and ffnet. By the time I started fully diving into fanfiction livejournal was slightly abandoned so at the end I focused entirely on ffnet and from there… Pretty Cure (another anime) Strawberry Panic and the even more dubious Kannazuki no Miko followed. I found some amazing writers I still follow today and whose stuff I will forever adore on MaiHime/MaiOtome and, eventually, Kim Possible. I still didn’t write though. Probably because my English at the time wasn’t the best, my writing voice in Spanish was barely a murmur and while I had always been the “weird kid who likes to write poetry and if you ask her nicely she will write you a story on the spot” I had never truly considered… writing and posting on the internet.

Funny thing is that this kind of things are like that and those who are content creators will probably understand that: You NEED to create. So, eventually, slightly older, and full on the whole Twilight era, I wrote a very… cringey fic. And then another. And another. And another.

At first I didn’t know shit about editing. My actual first review told me I was horrible at writing, that I was a mess, that I should stop. But my second review told me: “Hey, if you do this and that on the editing process it will help you and this will be more readable.” And I followed that comment. I eventually became friends with that second reviewer but, as life tends to be, I lost contact with her years ago. I still hope she is doing ok though.

Eventually, I started working, if working is something that one can say about writing a chapter in 20 minutes and throw it every Wednesday while your mother is at work, not monitoring what you are doing and you have the internet for yourself back when the internet went through the phone, in a multichaptered story. It is in Spanish, it is awful, characterization is horrible… but it also made me meet the person that became a very important person. And still will be for that younger version of me. 

From twilight and the occasional writing on the HP fandom with the Hermione/Ginny pairing [Yeah, I wonder what younger me would think of my current main pairing on that fandom] I “graduated” to Glee. Lots and lots of Glee.

And then I stopped. Completely. Not a peep from me. Not a word, not a line. For over a year.

I was a fan and a shipper, however, of this little show called Once Upon a Time. I started watching in the pilot, in a very shoddy link a friend sent me over gmail. I fell in love with the characters but while I loved them I couldn’t… or wouldn’t really, put myself into writing. At the time my English was slightly better but my confidence levels were even lower than currently are. And the ones who have talked to me can safely say how horrible I am at taking compliments.

Yet, I had a very meaningful conversation, one I don’t know if she remembers still, in where I was told: Writing is you. If you want to write… like you did when we first met, why don’t you do it? I tried with a wip that is still there, buried beneath other stories now, that I never fully took off. And then I said fuck it and wrote several others, badly written, even worse characterized, but ones that helped me say… why not.

Disney World Family Business (in case there’s even someone here who read that mess) comes from there. Interview with the (Evil) Queen does too. Dancing Ring (who I’ve seen people roasting me over it and it’s fine because it was awful) was too. Texts on the cloud was there too, Coffee Black News… Eventually, I wrote a fic I’ve erased since then called The Holiday. Over 2k per chapter every day. I did it under a month.

It was… interesting. It was exhilarating. It was magical in many ways. And I had my favorite writers of course. Those who I followed religiously. Who I absolutely admired. And who I, to this day, still admire. And I even get to call them friends now which my younger self would probably be having a meltdown about now xD

I had opened my tumblr account way before that but I had never truly used it. I didn’t know how. Eventually, though, I dusted it off. I put some cringey theme there and I posted, after being sent a couple of random prompts here and there over ffnet pm’s the first “prompts anyone?” post I ever did.

It’s funny because now I’m a tease but the first time I asked for prompts I did it asking for words that I promised I’d make a smut ficlet out of them.

Words of Desire was born. Is, to this day, the one I feel cheekier about. Even if the writing is awful xd I even got my ffnet account in the line of “am I going to get deleted?” after I posted a story called “Lips”

Why I’m writing all of this you guys probably don’t care about? Because that post led to another. And another. And another.

Point is. I felt drunk on the sudden realization I could still tell stories. And so I kept doing it. At some point I opened my a03 account. Don’t remember exactly when in this story but I was crossposting some of my stuff at some point bother in ffnet and a03 so… who knows really. And then I kept asking for prompts. Or I got them asked. And so I did.

And I met other writers, and other content creators. And I loved it. I absolutely loved watching OUAT and then shit on the show and then create fix it fics at 3am on a Sunday. And I learnt about the narrative process outside class. How fanfiction truly is its own genre. I started developing my own ideas. I started looking at books, at people, at places around me with a critical eye I later on developed further to be able to specialize myself in literature. Because, at the end, that’s what I minored in.

I had roleplayed, I had written conjoined narratives. But fic writing at the scale SwanQueen was during the OUAT was still airing was something else. It still is in a way, but different now. And I think those who were around during the fucking show that basically did us a lot of bad in many ways was a different approach that currently is.

During those years not everything was good of course. I hit several walls, I didn’t have the ability to create the stories I wanted. It is not the reason why I’m leaving, I’ve spoken about the reasons -plural- with some of you. So I won’t bother you all more than I’m already doing.

 I still love these ladies. I still don’t know how I will open a doc and not write their names. Maybe I relapse from time to time, who knows. Yet, the constant feeling of not being enough, of not being good enough, has devoured pretty much all my creative juices.

I was talking a few months ago with a writer I absolutely adore and I can’t tell her this enough and we were talking about writer’s block. And she said something that is devastatingly true. “You don’t have a creative block now. You’ve had it for a long time now.”

And I didn’t even hesitate when I answered “Yes. I know.”

How do you have a block when you keep posting? Well. By choosing safer options, options you know you will do on autopilot, without emotion even if you know you should be feeling it. And while writing is part of who I am and a huge part of my own emotional stability the fact that I simply cried when I saw the numbers and the stats while being bombarded with anons that I deleted most of them the second I got them… well. It’s far too much I guess.

I love SwanQueen. And to those of you who I’ve created a friendship over the years with I’m not leaving tumblr and I’m not walking out on you. I’m remaining here. You guys are going to need to do more than this to get rid of me Xd

But I do need that. Otherwise I will keep picking safer options, options that I know will take me shorter and shorter time for me to write. And that’s not quality. And not what I want to write. Because while I love writing about them the pressure and the fear and the rejection and the many other little details have outweighed the good. 

Regina is a stubborn woman. No matter what fic you guys are reading or writing. I’m a little bit like her in that department Xd

I’ve finished my wips and I gave myself a few months after that first post so I could create closure and, you know, give you all the best I could do. I felt more relaxed at having a date set. I still feel dread at losing my ability to write now that, probably, the number of prompts will be smaller. But I hope I will still get news from you all. And don’t be mistaken. Me not writing doesn’t mean me not reading. I’ll be actually able to read more so expect lots and lots of fic recs on my side and comments on those fics. So hey, everyone wins.

To those anons, those gatekeepers.

I hope you all wake up one day and realize you are alone in the pit you’ve created for yourselves.

To fellow content creators: There’s always this game I play, on trying to find those headcanons that are truly yours, the ones that repeat themselves on every fic. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a headcanon per se. It can be a word, a special mannerism. I treasure those. I often link you to those in my mind when I’m thinking about you all. Thanks for creating. And thanks for being you.

To everyone really: It has been a few amazing years. Thank you all.

VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN

-Dianne out.

[stardust--and--magic]

Author Interview

Thanks for tagging, @therealstartraveller776 ! ❤

Just fair warning that I only have one story that I'm actively working on. The rest of the fics mentioned are OLD AF.

Name: JustEedee. Formerly Rikayu / Rikayu-chan. Stardust & Magic is just for Tumblr, but I will post links to my updates here. Most people either just call me Rika, E, E.D (Eedee), or Eddy.

Fandoms: HAHA. A lot. But the ones that I've written for are Inuyasha (Sesshoumaru & Kagome), Naruto (Neji & Sakura), and most recently, Marvel (Loki & Jane).

Where You Post: Currently both AO3 and FF. AO3 only has Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane) on posted on it. FF has Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane) and all my *criiiinge* old fics on it. I'll probably end up taking down some of my old fics simply because I don't plan on continuing them and cause some of them are SO bad (my oldest I wrote when I was 15).

Most Popular One-Shot: Tender (Inuyasha - SessKag)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Royal Treatment (Inuyasha - SessKag). Second most popular and probably the only one out of my old fics that I would prefer people read would definitely be Heartbeats (Inuyasha - SessKag).

Favorite Story You Wrote: Back when I was writing regularly-ish, my favorite to write was Heartbeats (Inuyasha - SessKag). Currently, I greatly enjoy writing Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Honestly? It would be Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane). I hadn't written in YEARS. And I was never confident in my writing to begin with. Marvel is also such a large universe that it was incredibly intimidating when I first entertained the thought of writing it.

How You Choose Your Titles: I have the hardest time choosing titles. Most of the time, the titles just randomly pop into my head after about 2 months of being frustrated about it or I look up words related to the theme of my story for like half a year.

Complete: 6 completed works that are all one-shot. I've never managed to complete a multi-chapter story before.

Incomplete: 6 incomplete works, only 2 of which I plan on finishing - Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane) and Heartbeats (Inuyasha - SessKag). I may consider finishing To The Heart (Naruto - NejiSaku), but that's completely up in the air.

Do You Outline: Both?? It's truthfully a mix of both. I have a complete outline for Heartbeats, but it's been sitting there for years because I had lost the drive to write. I'll pick it back up one day. For Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane), I don't have an outline exactly. Basically, it's more or a collection of notes describing what I plan on writing, random ideas, some completed scenes, and pieces of dialogue.

Coming Soon / Not Yet Started: I have a Star Wars (Rey & Ben Solo/Kylo Ren) Modern AU that I'm semi-working on, but it's in the brainstorming/outline stage at the moment, and I don't foresee posting anything until later this year.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not at the moment, only because it's hard for me to juggle artwork and writing at the same time. Writing also doesn't come very naturally to me and is why sometimes I can take a very long time to post. I used to accept prompts though! Heartbeats (Inuyasha - SessKag) and To The Heart (Naruto - NejiSaku) both started with and have chapters based on prompts.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Catalyst (Marvel - Lokane) is my baby right now. Even though I'm still in the process of writing the next chapter, I'm generally always adding more content elsewhere in the stort(because sometimes I don't write in a linear way at all).

Tagging: Please feel free to do this if you want to! 🙂