#i wrote this at midnight so sorry if its all over the place i want to sleep

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

It's ✨ speculation time ✨

See, if Sano grandpa hadn't been there, Shinichiro and Mikey would've ended up in an institution and could've been separated

Perhaps Mikey never thought about it - he had no reason to - but what about Shinichiro? When Emma comes to their home and she talks about her big brother and he goes to see Izana and-

Izana has no family left, and that could've been Shinichiro (it's not a fair comparison - especially not when Shinichiro can come see his mom whenever he wants)

Shinichiro sees himself in Mikey, at least a bit, and knows Mikey will be greater than him - hence he wants to be there to help Mikey no do great mistakes like he maybe did back then during Black Dragon. And once again I'd like to mention Shinichiro only left Black Dragon for Mikey and would have stayed if not for him + would have gone far deeper into illegality - this boy became a delinquent to cope with his father's death and change of lifestyle.

So what if he saw himself in Izana as well?

He went to see Izana with perhaps little to no information on him - we don't even know how he figured out where Izana was. Did he know right off the bat Izana wasn't his (or Emma's) biological brother? The answer to these questions do not matter here, sorry for that.

Did he think Izana thought of Emma the same way he thought of Mikey? He perhaps went to see him after Emma opened up to them and talked about Izana - did he go see Izana for Emma? To make her happy? After all, that's what he says in her chapter-backstory: 'I want to make her smile' and even if Mikey did succeed to make her open up at the end, Shinichiro himself needed to do something to get closer to her.

But then. Izana's main thing is that he (feels) is alone. We don't know how Shinichiro dealt with his father's death+his mother's extended hospitalization+his lifestyle going from 'typical citizen life' to 'living with grandfather, having to raise siblings as a teen, being a delinquent' but it's clear he relied on Mikey('s well-being) a lot. Mikey is the only thing he has left from his previous normal life (aside from Takeomi) and without him he'd have felt way lonelier.

So what did he never make Izana and Emma talk again?

Well first, I won't give you the canonical answer, I don't have it, second — to learn to know someone, you have to share a point in common you can talk about, right?

If Shinichiro thought Shinichiro&Mikey's relationship = Izana&Emma's relationship, what else could he have talked about? He knows Mikey better than Emma, and Izana knows Emma but not Mikey. If Shinichiro wanted to share things about Mikey so that Izana get to know him a bit (even without meeting him) and if he wanted that by doing that Izana will talk about Emma... well that completely backfired we know that, but I don't think that implausible. Shinichiro's not perfect, he messes up – he's human like any other character.

After Izana's 'stop talking about Manjiro, my head hurts because of him', Shinichiro stepped back from talking about Mikey (supposedly). He tries at some point to tell Mikey about Izana ('what would you think if you had another big brother?') but without talking clearly about Izana – he's still not sure about how to do it

He doesn't know if he can talk about Izana with Emma either. She progressively stopped talking about him and the last time she saw him she was 3. Does she remember him? If yes, how much? Not much, right? Emma was the same age Mikey was when their father died, Mikey doesn't remember their father, sure Emma would want to see Izana again, just like Mikey would like to see their father again but at the end of the day they know how to live without them, don't they, because they do not have much memories about them whereas Shinichiro remembers his dad and Izana remembers Emma and and— and next thing Shinichiro knows, Izana pushed someone to suicide and ended up in Juvie.

Shinichiro is Black Dragon's leader and founder, he knows a lot of people and a lot of them did messed up things, because they could, because they had to, because they had no other choice, because they didn't know better... But it's his younger brother here

And it gets even worse after Izana gets out and Shinichiro tells him Black Dragon is first and foremost for Mikey. Izana becomes Black Dragon's leader and twists Black Dragon's essence and image. But Shinichiro doesn't do much to stop it – he doesn't really know how to connect to Izana, and he certainly doesn't know how to make Izana (who doesn't react when Shinichiro tries to talk to him about Emma) connect to Emma and Mikey (especially not with the current situation and the past few years)

But there's something deeper than this

Because that's it, what Izana made of the 8th generation is what could have been the 1st.

Izana acts just like Shinichiro could've acted if he didn't have Mikey (and it becomes even worse after Izana figures out he isn't related by blood to any of them). Discovering delinquency, going in it, getting beat up, trying to find connections, trying to find a way to make the anger and pain stop — without his father, Shinichiro gets into delinquency (he can still withdraw), without Mikey, Shinichiro falls even deeper (he cannot return from it).

And somewhere, Shinichiro doesn't want Izana (whom he failed, and failed again) and Mikey (who only sees Shinichiro as perfectly imperfect) to meet – first of all, because Izana will lose it, and second of all, because you can't convince me Shinichiro would be okay with Mikey finding out about any of his mistakes

Still, Shinichiro loves his brothers and his dream is to take care of S.S Motors the three of them together. If Izana wants a family related by blood, then he'll go find Izana's mother to the Philippines (did he succeed? Most likely not. But he got the two Babus – one for Mikey's upcoming birthday and the other for Izana once he'd have find a way to make up for last time, maybe)

His dreams are cut short as he finds death and karma and one question lingers in my mind —

Where the heck is Izana in the original timeline.

It was ��speculation time✨

[togenabi]

with flowers under the stars

inumaki toge x fem!reader (royalty au)

♡—Toge does his best to impress you, even when others might not want him to.

previous♡— [PART 1]

word count♡— 4.1k words (oml)

genre♡— fluff, romance, royalty au

aged up characters♡— 18+

content notes♡— potential lovers to actual lovers, mutual pining, courtship, dating, everyone is a prince or princes, older brother!gojo satoru, no use of y/n, romance, very fluff, mentions of engagement and marriage, toge uses sign language, some characters may be ooc >< pls forgive me

author's note♡— after rising from the grave (I'm so sorry this took so long! buT! I'm graduating! AAA) I finally finished the sequel to my first toge fic. thank you so much to those who have appreciated my previous work! now that I'm back, I hope you enjoy this as well! (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)♡

Exchanging letters with prince Toge occurred frequently before you finally met again. He talked about many things, but they all ended the same way: mentioning how lovely you are and how he wishes time could run faster so he could meet you.

Toge's kingdom was a week on ship and a day by train away, so visiting was saved for important duties or events. ‘Maybe I should ask your brother to appoint me an official position in the council so I can stay in the palace.’ He wrote to you once. You reply that he doesn't deserve it, since he wouldn't be working with the empire or its people in mind.

He writes back that he fell for you a little more, and you trace that line an infinite number of times before tucking the letter away.

When the day of the banquet finally arrives, Satoru notices that you appear a bit more lavish than you usually care to look during events.

“Why! My dearest sister! How stunning you look! And for my birthday, no less! I love that color on you, your taste has improved so much!” He suddenly gasps dramatically and loudly—so loud, that the maid helping you with your earrings flinches.

“Are those... the earrings I got you last year? But I've never seen you wear them! I would give you a hug if it wouldn't ruin your clothes!”

You ignore him the entire time he fusses over you. He looks nice today, you admit. His hair is styled down which gives him a softer aura, and his white suit with gold details looks pristine. A midnight blue cape drapes over his shoulders and flows down his back. It would be difficult for anyone else to pull it off, but you don't tell him that. Goodness knows he would never let you hear the end of it.

You sigh as you watch him through the vanity mirror, but he only becomes even more giddy at your silence.

“Hey, give me that.” Satoru says to the attendant holding your brush. “Leave us.” He says as he stands behind you to brush your hair. You stare at him in disbelief.

Satoru knows you love when he brushes your hair. Even if you never outright told him, it was obvious that you enjoyed it when he cared for you. But because you were embarrassed to ask him as you got older, he hasn't done it since you were children.

He's silent and focuses on brushing your hair gently. The moment feels strangely emotional, and your resolve to ignore him cracks a bit.

“So...” Satoru meets your eyes in the mirror, then winks. “You and Toge, huh?”

You tsk, letting your resolve fully break. “I should've known you would notice.”

He laughs and places a hand on your shoulder. “Well, he wrote saying his father wanted to trade silk from their territory, and that he would like to stay at the palace to handle the negotiations.”

“...Add that to the letters you're receiving everyday, and it wasn't too hard to piece things together.”

You groan and cover your face in embarrassment. You and Toge weren't exactly a secret, but you didn't want your brother to know until it got more serious.

“So what now?” You dread having to ask. “Are you going to tell me to call it off?”

“Nope.” Satoru says, smiling. “Besides, if you're anything like your dear old brother—which, you are! Don't deny it!—I'll end up driving you into his arms if I try to keep you away.”

His eyes suddenly turn serious as he considers his next words. “He's a good kid... Good enough for you, though? We'll have to see.” He places the brush on the dresser, and takes your hand to help you on your feet.

“But what's important is to know yourself and decide for yourself. Don't let anyone else make that choice for you.” He looks sincere as he places your hand on his arm. “Shall we?”

“Satoru...” You call him, touched. He grins and kisses your forehead.

“And of course, if you end up marrying him, that saves me and the ministers the work of looking for your match!” You slap his shoulder, but he only laughs harder as he escorts you out.

The ballroom was sparkling when you arrived. There were already plenty of guests partaking in the revelries as the event had begun half an hour before. Satoru had insisted on the importance of being fashionably late. Normally, you wouldn't have let him actually be late, but you caved only for today.

“Entering, their Royal Highnesses, The Imperial Crown Prince and The Imperial Princess.”

As you descended the stairs with Satoru, the people bowed and you took that as an opportunity to look for a head of white hair, a mask or a high collar covering half the face.

“You're being too obvious.” Satoru whispered. “He'll show up, don't worry.”

He led you to the center of the hall. You were so caught up on looking for Toge that you had nearly forgotten you were to share Satoru's first dance; as he still wasn't engaged. The both of you took your positions gracefully as the music started to flow through the air.

“I'll spin you a few times.” He was grinning. “Try to spot him.”

And yet, the song ended without you seeing Toge anywhere. After giving a hasty bow to your brother, you went on with your search once again.

Your eyes caught princess Nobara the same moment she did yours. You were about to go greet her when her eyes trailed off to something behind you. When her gaze returns to yours, she's smirking and it makes you turn to look at what she saw.

Toge takes your breath away as he walks up to you. He wasn't wearing a mask, or a high collar like he had been during the previous ball. His suit was pitch black and every bit as elegant as him. Your eyes were immediately drawn to his lips and you blushed when he caught you staring. All you wanted to do was to dance with him so that you had an excuse to be close.

It seemed that he picked up on that, as he bowed and offered you his hand.

“It's good to see you again.” You greet him. He kisses the back of your hand with a smile before sweeping you away to dance.

Suddenly nervous, your words get stuck in your throat as the beginnings of a soft waltz reach your ears. “I... tried looking for you when I arrived.”

Toge leads the dance as effortlessly as he did the first time. It almost amazes you how natural it feels to move and sway with him. He seems pleased to know that you were paying him as much attention as he gave you.

Not wanting to simply dance, you took to asking him questions. “Did your journey here go smoothly?” Toge nods.

“When did you arrive?”

‘Today.’ He mouths.

“Ah. I'll have to take you sightseeing then.” You grin up at him. “Would tomorrow be alright?” You get your answer in the form of Toge grinning back, and before you could prepare yourself, he twirls you around and catches you in an embrace as the song finishes with a flourish. A number of people around you started to clap, and you couldn't help but blush in his arms.

After settling at the less crowded side of the ballroom, Toge explains, ‘I also tried to find you. I arrived as early as I could, and yet you and your brother were late.’ He looks at you almost as if to scold you, but you see mischief in his eyes. ‘I thought that you might be by the window where we met... So I went to check.’

“Oh, I see.” You respond, a bit embarrassed. “I should have warned you about my brother's flair for dramatics. He tends to do that when he's the star of the event.”

‘Do you have any remaining commitments here at the ball?’

That makes you think for a moment. “No, Satoru's the one the people want to bother today. Why?”

Toge gives you a look that makes you want to agree to almost anything he asks. ‘Will you allow me to whisk you away?’

And so you were both running, hand-in-hand and laughing, on your way to that secluded hall with the stained glass window. It shouldn't have been possible, but it felt more magical than before to be with him here again.

Toge slows his steps when you both reach the window. You realize that despite coming to cherish this place, you never sought it out when he wasn't around. Something tells you that would have only made you miss him more.

Looking at you with a serious expression, he begins to sign, ‘I know I have been very upfront about myself caring about you... But I want to ask this properly, because you deserve nothing less than the best.’

‘I would like—if it is alright with you, to formally court you.’

The smile on your face glows before you can help it, and you throw your arms around him.

“I would very much like that as well, my dear prince.” You lean to kiss his cheek.

Toge looks dazed and happy as if drunk on something you had given him. Maybe he was.

The moonlight shining through the glass paints him in a kaleidoscope of colors. Before, the only colors on him were the purple hues in his eyes. And now he stood before you, bright and shining.

‘You look beautiful.’

He took the words right out of your mouth.

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Satoru came to find you the day after the banquet. Naturally, he entered your office without knocking, and unceremoniously dropped a heavy document in front of the one you were already working on.

“What's this?”

“Toge's proposal...”

The floor seemed to sink, your heart and your breath gone along with it. “What?”

“—for the trade negotiations.”

It took everything in your power to not throw the block of papers at him. “You're unbelievable.”

Satoru only hummed. “So is your boyfriend. I can't believe he's making me work right after my birthday! He should be kissing up to me, not giving me paperwork!”

“Last time I checked, he's courting me. Not you.” Nevertheless, you take a few moments to sift through the document. It was very detailed and efficient. You note that the length of the proposal was due to the many alternative plans Toge had prepared. This would certainly help the negotiations go smoothly. Satoru and the ministers merely had to look at the options.

Looking back to your brother, you couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. What was he complaining about, when all he had to do was select the best plan and tweak where it was necessary?

“We're to begin the negotiations in two days. I think his plans have potential—” You couldn't help but snort at that, from what you'd seen, Toge was already excellent. (You were not biased. Not at all.) “But, I don't think the older ministers will be kind to someone who acts like a know-it-all.”

“Toge doesn't—”

“A-ah,” Satoru waves a finger at you, as if you were a child being told what you did wrong. You scowl at him but he ignores it. “This will be a test for him, to see if he's able to win against those old goons.”

“You mean yourself, then?” His expression drops at that, and you don't bother to hide how satisfied that made you feel.

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As the weeks flew by, Toge ended up being a lot more busy than you both anticipated. Despite officially dating, lunches together turned to having tea during breaks; then that turned to catching him in the hallway for a few moments before he had to go.

You didn't understand why his workload only seemed to grow, no matter how much effort he put in. Once, when you caught him just before he entered his chambers, you had asked him if anything was going wrong with the negotiations.

Toge looked exhausted, and yet he gave you a smile that made your heart melt. ‘No, the talks are going well, I suppose I'm just having trouble adjusting to the empire's work culture.’

You must have looked unconvinced, because Toge suddenly leaned in and rested his forehead against yours. Mischievously, he stared into your eyes until you were too flustered to be worried anymore. He laughed when you had to push him away.

That night, he bid you farewell with a kiss to your cheek.

‘Good night, darling.’

The next time you had Toge to yourself for an entire day, it was due to a holiday celebration. Everyone was too occupied with the festivities to work. You were supposed to be at another banquet Satoru had hosted, but you were determined to monopolize Toge's time today.

So you showed up at his door at the earliest respectable hour of the morning, dressed for warm weather and a picnic basket in your hand.

“Will you allow me to whisk you away?” You asked when he answered the door.

You took him on a tour of the parts of the palace he hasn't seen yet. Your office, the private library, and even some of the secret passage ways. His eyes lit up with curiosity when you showed him one behind a portrait.

You had lunch in the gardens, under a tree that offers wonderful shade. A soft blanket laid across the grass, with a spread of the empire's specialty dishes arranged all over it.

“This one,” You show Toge a cookie with flowers piped on top. “Has been my favorite since I was a child. It has just the perfect amount of sweetness, and goes beautifully with tea.”

You move to hand Toge the cookie, but he doesn't take it. Confused, you're about to ask him if anything was wrong when he leans forward and opens his mouth expectantly.

Wordlessly, you raise the cookie to his lips. The moment feels oddly intimate as he takes a bite without removing his gaze from yours.

Toge hums and moves his hands to sign, ‘It's indeed delicious.’ He leans to you and opens his mouth again.

You push the half-eaten cookie into his hands and turn away to hide your blush. “If you're able to tell me what you think about it, you can eat it yourself.”

He breathes out a laugh. Smirking at you while he chews the remaining cookie.

It was so peaceful, just sitting there with him. And it seemed as though you weren't the only one who wanted to sit with Toge. A tiny white butterfly fluttered about before landing on his knee. He looked so enchanted by it. Staring close, but being careful that he didn't move his knee or disturbed it.

The butterfly flying away made you want to explore too. Getting yourself up, you look over your shoulder and gesture for him to follow. He offers you his arm once he catches up, and you rest your hand on it. Birds chirp and leaves rustle in the wind as you walk towards the shimmering lake at the edge of the gardens.

Bracing yourself on Toge's arm, you kick your shoes off. You set them aside to dip your toes into the water. “It's so refreshing!”

Toge feels his chest grow as warm as the sunlight kisses your cheeks. He gets down on one knee to untie his shoes when he's abruptly hit by a splash of water. Flabbergasted, he looks up at you, blinking away the water droplets in his lashes.

Of course, Toge isn't one to back down from a challenge. The result is the both of you shivering and drenched by the time the sun has set. Your maids fuss all over you when you get back to the palace, and the other staff almost faint at the puddles that trail after you and Toge.

It was useless to insist that you could walk alone and that you both should get cleaned up at the soonest. Toge didn't leave your side until you entered your chambers, your gazes only being broken by the door once it closed.

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You got the most dreadful fever after that day with Toge. Satoru, wanting you to rest properly, made you swear not to lift a finger for work related reasons until you got better. Which, you followed without complaint. You took a break for a few days.

Toge did his best to see you, but he only got busier. His eyes looked more and more tired, dark circles under them when you caught him in the library one morning. He stayed there to work overnight. You were barely able to convince him to rest.

On another night, one of your maids caught him trying to sneak in your room, screaming and kicking him out. You could have sworn half the palace had woken up to that, and you couldn't help but hide under your sheets due to the embarrassment.

What irritates you most, however, was that the first thing you heard when you get back is, “Oh. Finally decided to return to your duties, eh?” from a delegate who spent most of his time gossiping, and whose biggest contribution to the empire was refilling the inkwells in the conference room...

The conference room has five inkwells.

Those ministers and court members were proving more and more to be nuisances. You gave them an earful when they had assumed you were slacking off when you were sick.

Not to mention, you suspected that they have been making Toge do more work than he needs to. Even if he never complains, you don't fail to notice how some courtiers turn their noses up at him just because his kingdom was distant and smaller compared to the scale of the empire.

The thought of Toge being belittled makes you pause during work, frowning at a chart of kitchen expenses as if it's done something offensive.

Dropping your pen, you head out of your office with brisk steps. You had to speak to Satoru.

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“Overworking Toge? Why, dear sister, I can't believe you're accusing me of such a thing!” Satoru puts a hand to his heart as if he was wounded by your words.

“Maybe not.” You're not going to let him weasel out of this one. “But you let the other ministers and court members walk all over him! Is Toge supposed to just sit there and take it? He's a prince, damn it!”

“Listen,” Satoru leans forward, his elbows on his desk as he uses his hands while explaining. “The ministers are just a bit frazzled, that's all. They think he forced you to skip the holiday banquet, and that he got you sick. He's good at his work, sure. But in their eyes? He just looks like a bad influence on you.”

You scoff.

“Now,” Satoru interrupts before you can say anything, “They were going to try and match you with prince Megumi—”

“Megumi's already engaged.”

“I know, I know. And that's why they're planning on pitching you with prince Yuji or princess Nobara.”

“I'm already with Toge.” You say sternly. “And what happened to not letting others make my decisions for me?”

“As far as those old goons are concerned, Toge is only the third best for you. ‘For the greatness of the empire’ and all that.” It doesn't escape you that he dodged your question. “They're going to try to push you apart until you break up or get hitched.” He leans back, crossing his arms on his chest. “Whichever comes first.”

“Why don't you stop them?” Frustrated, you run your hands through your hair. “Tell them I really like him and that they should leave him alone!”

“Sweetheart,” Satoru's tone becomes deeper, and you hate how it instantly makes you shut up. “The thing is, if Toge isn't capable of handling this, or if he backs out of your relationship because of it, he's not worth your time.”

You stare at him, unlinking. The thought of Toge leaving you had never occurred to you before, and Satoru could tell.

“I told you I would test him.” He shrugged. “It seems I'm testing you too.”

Rushing back to your office, you grab a piece of parchment and your pen from your desk. Not bothering to sit down as you write: Meet me at the gardens, by the tree. Midnight.

You fold it and hastily stuff it into an envelope. Delicately melting wax, you stamp your seal onto it before calling for your most trusted maid.

Handing her the letter, you instruct her, “Deliver this to prince Toge and prince Toge only. If anyone hinders you or attempts to read it, report back to me immediately. Go.”

She bows, and exits the room.

That night, Toge arrived before you. You note that he has a penchant for being early as he reaches to squeeze your hand. He looks you over to check if you're alright, and despite seeing nothing of concern, he asks anyway, ‘Are you okay?’

“We need to talk.” You nervously purse your lips. “The courtiers, the ministers... My brother. They've been making your work difficult.”

He sighs. ‘You found out.’

“You didn't tell me!” You rest a hand on his cheek, absentmindedly grazing your thumb over the marks near his mouth. “Do you understand what they're trying to do?”

‘Testing me.’

“Yes.” A lump forms in your throat. “Satoru said it's until you give up on me, or if you... propose.”

Heart racing, your hands can't stop fiddling with things. His face. His hair. The fastenings of his suit. “I'm just so worried. I care a great deal about you, and I just wanted to ask if you're enduring this because you want to.” You bite your lip in thought. “If it's because you're sure about... me.”

You can't look at him. You suddenly feel foolish. You should have given it a night and slept on it to gather your thoughts. You should have—

Toge embraces you. Everything stops.

You take in the view of the gardens over his shoulder. It was dark, and there was barely any light save for the stars twinkling above. You closed your eyes and let yourself be held.

Pulling away, he doesn't seem as fazed as you do, if at all. He turns to you slowly, and after taking a deep breath...

‘Marry me, then.’

You choke on air.

“Wh-what?!” A warmth creeps into your cheeks. “What are you—”

He places his hands on your shoulders and stares into your eyes. He gives you a look and mouths, ‘Breathe.’ And you do.

Once you've calmed down, he begins to explain.

‘We can come forward and make a statement that we've been seeing each other with marriage in mind. Which...’ He pauses, suddenly shy. ‘I have. I've been thinking about swearing everything to you... Intertwining my future with yours.’

‘I know it's only been a few months, so we could have a long engagement if you want. For us to get to know each other more. And if—’ Toge's hands freeze, his movements are slow as if the next words pain him.

‘...If you decide to break off the engagement, I will not force you to stay with me.’

You immediately stop his hands, holding them tightly with your own.

“Toge... I wouldn't even consider this with anyone else,” You feel genuinely happy as you smile at him. “But I'm willing to try. With you. Only you.”

He glows in a way that reminds you of when you first met. His expression is soft as if he's melting, and he smiles at you brightly. You think of how lucky you are that he looks at you this way.

‘This isn't the way I wanted it to happen, but...’

Toge picks a small, white flower from a bush nearby. It faintly reminds you of the butterfly that had flown to him the last time you were here together. His eyes are focused and he frowns in concentration as he fiddles with the stem. Your heart stutters as he makes... a delicate ring.

He kneels.

You say yes.

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A letter from you and Toge arrives on Satoru's desk the next day.

‘Dearest brother,

Please approve this statement that prince Toge and I have been seeing each other, and that we have decided to get engaged. You will find the formal document stamped with our seals attached to this letter.

We expect your approval posthaste, and I will not consider any objections. Please let us know when you will be available to discuss the engagement ceremony.’

“Your highness, what should we do with these documents you had forged?”

“Oh. Hand them over.” Satoru waves a hand to dismiss the attendant after retrieving the files.

He gets up from his desk and walks to the fireplace. “I can't believe he proposed before I could falsely accuse him of treason.” He tsks and throws the documents into the fire.

His eyes find a framed photograph on the fireplace mantel. It was of him and you as children. Satoru was laughing after you ran to him for a hug. His gaze grows sad yet understanding... He won't be the first person you'll turn to anymore when you get married.

Sighing, he considers that he should be thankful you chose someone determined and true like Toge. But then Satoru grins.

“I suppose I can always mess with him as his brother-in-law.”

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© togenabi 2023 | see here to be added to my taglist ♡

[ilys00ga]

𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀.

➞ pair: yoongi x reader.

➞ genre: hurt/comfort (why do I keep making these lmao), established relationships, I'm so bad at tagging sorry.

➞ warnings: angst and fluff cuz we all need that (we really do). reader has anxiety and abandonment issues, yoongi is trying his best for the sake of both of them, just relationship things.

➞ A/N: requested by @parkjennykim, this was very fun to write! thanks for yet another idea <3 I hope u like it. I'm organizing this blog/post (?) while listening to mono, and let me tell yall, it's such a vibe omg. I think you should read this while listening to that album, I love it sm, I can't even begin to explain UGH- if namjoon ever goes on a world tour, he better perform every single song in that album, cuz imma be losing my mind in the crowd, esp during moonchild. my vocal cords are already getting sore. yeah. if u want this to hit that spot, maybe u should do what I said (this is a friendly order, if u will). if not, just enjoy and pls ignore any mistakes, english has been challenging me recently (for the last 10 years lmao)

ps. I am in a dire need of a yoongi in my life. specifically the one I wrote in this one. oh how I love being a lonely fanfic writer <33

★ MASTERLIST.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

God knows how long it had been after it hit midnight when Yoongi stood in the kitchen. His eyes were red and heavy with drowsiness, but he couldn't sleep that night.

How does one sleep through a restless, biting night?

Surely not with a bad headache, or overflowing thoughts, and especially not with guilt chewing on his core.

He gulped, throat begging to be quenched as it held onto a slight, delicious, yet bothersome burning sensation. He opened the fridge and filled a glass with some water, raising it to his lips when loud a cry of his name, followed with a thud and a number of sobs, disturbed the quiet of the night and made him jump, startled.

His limbs froze in their place, glass almost slipping his hand and crashing on the floor when his sleep deprived brain realized that the muffled cries were yours.

Wide awake, he dashed after the sound. Thirst and sleep no longer occupied his mind, all he could think of was holding you in his arms.

He found you on the stairs, trembling as you wailed into your hands.

He hated it so much: seeing you in pain. He wanted nothing more than to shield you from the rainfall of your gloomy sky, from his own rainfall, from the world. How could one be an umbrella and the rain at once?

He blinked, once, twice, then gulped and heaved a deep, tired breath.

One storm doesn’t require another storm to be calmed down, that he knew. One needs to be composed and collected to stand still during a storm, that he knew as well.

With worried eyes, he gently called out your name and walked up to you, “darling, what’s wrong?”

You looked up as soon as you heard his worried voice, some tiny sense of relief washed over you when you saw him right there. A hundred daggers digged so deep into his heart and bones, aching, the moment a broken whimper of his name fell from your lips.

Without a second thought, Yoongi hugged your face to his chest. One of his hands was patting your back and the other affectionately caressed your head.

As he listened to his name that never left your lips, Yoongi held you there on the cold of the stairs with nothing but sweet nothings whispered back to your ears.

Everything he did and said was so gentle and soft, like he was so afraid you'd crack and come to tiny bits and pieces at any given moment. It all made you want to cry even harder, to hold him so tight and never let go.

Soon, when your tears started winding down, pulled away and cradled your face with his hands, palms faintly pressing on your cheeks as if he hoped to share their warmth with you.

Tender eyes met your wet ones and stared as their owner’s voice made its way through the noise of your sniffles and hiccups. He said, “It’s alright. I'm here. Talk to me, hmm?”

You answered his plea with a small nod, before wiping your tear stained skin and hugging him again. He smelt like home. You took a deep breath, greedily feeding your lungs with his lovely scent.

He hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your body closer to his. He pressed light kisses on your temple, patiently waiting for you to talk.

“I had a really scary nightmare. so, so scary- I woke up, didn’t find you there- then…then I remembered the fight we had earlier. I…I thought I lost you- I'm sorry. sorry for the stupid things I said earlier. I love you so much! please don’t leave. please..”

Your voice quivered with fresh tears ready to be spilled again. Yoongi started hushing you as soon as he noticed that you were working yourself up.

Squeezing you in his arms, he whispered “I never left, and I never will.”

“I’m all right, nothing happened to me, see?” he leaned away just enough to allow you to take a quick look at his body, then added, “a stupid fight is not going to make me leave. I love you way too much for that, and I'm sorry for hurting you too.”

He could still read fear and uncertainty all over your face, and he didn't like that. He knew that you trusted him, and he didn't doubt your love for him.

At first, he didn't get it. He didn't understand the insecurities, the anxiety and the nightmares you suffered from especially after the inevitably worst of arguments that happened between you and him. But after longer and deeper talks, with you expressing your feelings and him listening with careful ears, it made much more sense to him.

Sometimes he hated himself for triggering your alarms and making it harder for you, but he knew it was neither his fault nor was it yours.

Growth and pain are two key elements that come arm in arm with love, and fights are an unpreventable part of any kind of relationship. For all that, he always ended up blaming himself for making you question your worth to him when he can't even sleep without you happily cuddling his side.

Softly, lovingly, he started prepping tender kisses over your cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, temples, all over your flushed face.

It worked like watching waving fields of green wheat dancing with the wind, your storm started to slowly die down and your heart felt at ease again. slowly, but definitely.

Smiling ever so affectionately, Yoongi sealed his reassurance with a loving kiss that consumed you whole, and it left the corners of your mouth curving up in a dazzling smile. You nuzzled his chest and sighed.

“I really hate fighting with you.” you mumbled into his clothed chest, drained and light headed from all the crying and nearly-a-panic-attack you went through.

“I know, I'm sorry. I hate it too." he whispered back.

There was a pause of comfortable silence, with both of you breathing each other in, before he wondered aloud: “did you fall down the stairs? are you okay?”

You chuckled breathily at his question, recalling the hysteria he had to deal with just a few minutes ago. But Yoongi was there, right beside you. your arms were tightly wrapped around his torso, right by your side.

He had some kind of exceptionally irrepressible magic in those fierce eyes and that gummy smile of his, you inarguably couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“I'm alright. Was too busy crying, I didn’t even feel a thing to be honest.” you said, and he giggled.

“I love when you’re clumsy like that, but please be more careful, muffin. Can’t have you hurting yourself because of me even more." Even with your face buried into the crook of his neck, you could feel and hear the heavy pout in that comment.

Huffing, you leaned away with furrowed brows and a strict gaze. Yoongi gulped. Hesitation took over him, yet he knew that honesty is the only thing that must be present to drive this conversation to an end.

Honestly brings clarity, he found himself reminding himself of that very often.

"as long as we take care of each other, it's okay. I love you." you affirmed, and perhaps Yoongi almost teared up because of the way you looked at him right then and there. He wouldn't utter a word to spoil that information out loud, though.

The shy grin and the flushed cheeks you were met with were worth risking the entire world and its eight billion residents. You couldn't help but smile and pull him into another hug.

"This is great and all, but my butt is numbed. I think there's no blood flowing down there anymore," he said, his heart swooning when you giggled at his humorous change of topic, so relieved that he was finally able to hear your brightness again.

"Let's go back to rest, darling." He stood up, grabbed your hand and squeezed it in his, then gently pulled your body up and dragged you to your shared bedroom, where everything and everyone else meant little to nothing at all as you laid in each other's arms.

[acehoons]

zb1 as heartbreak tropes . . !

☆! ot8 x gn!reader. heavy angst. not requested.

[ 🎧 ] now playing . . places we won’t walk by bruno major

a/n: been in an angsty mood lately, so i wrote this. lol. yujin’s not included in this because of the relationship trope.

% . . kim jiwoong :: right person, wrong time

jiwoong was your boyfriend of three years

but you had known each other for nearly five years

he courted you for nearly two years, and was probably the happiest man on earth when you agreed to be his s/o three years ago

for the majority of your relationship, everything was smooth

jiwoong treated you better than any other man, and you were his home

but some things don’t last forever

more utc.

as time passed, the two of you got busier

you had to focus on your studies, jiwoong needed to focus on his career

date nights turned into late nights alone at home

celebrations turned into forgotten marks on the calendar

daily “i love you”s turned into silence

the two of you knew the relationship had run its course already

but you were both afraid to face the truth

until one night, when you waited for jiwoong to come home after midnight

practice ended late, so he came home later than usual

so seeing you waiting for him at 2 am, he knew it was time

the two of you say nothing for a while, cherishing what time left you two had

until you decided to break the silence

“we can’t continue on like this, jiwoong.”

a small part of you was hoping he’d disagree with you, that he would argue back and fight, fight for you to remain in his life

but a bigger part of you knew that he couldn’t

“i’m sorry.” was all he said

tears threatened to pour out of your eyes, but you fought them, wanting to end your relationship on a brighter note

enveloping him in a tight hug, you two spend nearly five minutes in each others’ arms

until you pulled away

“i love you.” he said, “i’ll never stop.”

“i know.” was all you replied with “it’ll be okay.”

you leave him one last kiss, and he lets you go, watching you walk out of that door, wishing you’d turn around and run back to him

the tears finally pour out, a sob threatening to escape your throat as you walked out into the porch

all the while, jiwoong watched with his heart shattered inside his chest, as the one thing he considered home left him forever

% . . zhang hao :: falling out of love

the first time zhanghao met you, he immediately fell head over heels

he was so mesmerized by you; your beauty, your personality— everything

he wasted no time in pursuing you. he asked you out on a date, then another, and another

until you both decided to make it official

the beginning of your relationship was akin to bliss

with zhanghao doting on you at every given moment, making sure that you were loved and cared for

he would always go out of his way to provide you with everything

he was nothing short of the perfect boyfriend

until, after a few months, you noticed all of the changes

they were small— at first

back then, zhanghao would always respond to your calls and texts with such speed, never letting you wait for him to respond

but recently, he would reply hours later, and wouldn’t return your calls until a day after

you didn’t make a big deal out of it at first

but it got worse

zhanghao barely reached out to talk to you

he never visited, never asked to see you at school— nothing

the gifts you used to receive from him out of the blue suddenly stopped

the parties and events you used to attend with him turned into just you attending by yourself

you tried to convince yourself that he was just busy, he’s probably occupied with school or work

but by the time the third month of stone silence passed

you had enough

you drove to zhanghao’s place, demanding to see him

having a spare key, you barged inside, only to see him just merely playing games in his room

annoyed, he snaps at you, “what the hell are you doing?!”

before you came in here, you had a whole speech prepared for when you were face to face

but now, standing in front of the man you used to love— the man that used to love you,

you couldn’t remember a thing

“can’t you tell that i’m busy?” zhanghao exclaimed, pointing towards his computer screen

“we’re over.” was the only thing you said

you walked out, running out of his house

you half-hoped that zhanghao would run after you

that he’s stop you from leaving, apologize for everything and that everything would turn back to normal

but. nothing.

no one came

with tears pouring down your face, you ran and left

and never came back

% . . sung hanbin :: unrequited love

hanbin was one of your closest friends

you two grew up together, with your parents being close

ever since you two were kids, you always admired hanbin

you adored him so much, always following him wherever he went

it took you twenty years to realize that you were in love with him

you had never been in love with anyone else, you never even considered it

hanbin was the only guy you were ever interested in, and you feared that he might actually be the only one ever

but who could blame you?

one look at him and anyone would fall

you loved everything about hanbin, his smile, his laugh, the way his eyes shine whenever he talks about anything that he likes

you wanted to confess your feelings to him so bad

but you knew that it wasn’t going to end well for you

in your two decades of friendship, hanbin has never shown any romantic interest for you

he treats you like his little sibling

so you knew that you had no chance

but, one random day, you managed to grow the courage to tell him

you were tired of pining for him in silence, and just wanted to let your feelings out

so you invited him over and told him to meet you in your backyard that night

with the stars twinkling above you both, you hoped for the best

“hanbin.” you began. “i’m in love with you.”

he stared at you for a while, shocked at what he heard

your heart was beating right out of your chest, and you felt like passing out

you prayed with all of your might for hanbin to tell you the words you’ve always wished to hear; “i love you.”

but alas, hanbin doesn’t say it.

“oh [y/n],” he says, voice solemn. “i’m sorry..”

and that was all of the confirmation you needed

tears immediately formed in your ehyes, and you forced to swallow the huge lump in your throat

“it’s okay.” you say. “i gotta.. go..”

you turned around and walked away from your own backyard, tears pouring down your cheeks the moment you turn your back from hanbin

hanbin, left alone in your backyard, hoping that you were okay, and wishing that he could love you the way you did him

but he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried

% . . seok matthew :: just friends

matthew was your bestest friend in the whole world

he knew you like the back of his hand, and you him

the two of you were inseparable

wherever one was, the other would always follow

so it wasn’t a mystery as to how you fell in love with him

matthew was the textbook definition of a perfect gentleman

he always treated you so kindly

walking you home after school, pulling out the chair for you to sit in, opening every door for you

he treated you like a princess

and just like that, you slowly fell for the man you’ve known for nearly ten years

and at first, you never did address or face any of your feelings, far too afraid of its circumstances

you were okay with being just friends with matthew, because you’d rather have that than nothing

but sometimes, you found yourself wishing for more

wishing to be more than just his best friend

you wanted to call him yours, and you longed to be his more than anything else

but no matter how much your heart begged, you could never walk up to him and admit it

so you stood behind, and watched him from the side

always there whenever he needed you

until one day, he ran to you bearing news

“she said yes!” he said

you felt your heart drop down to your feet, “what?”

“i asked rei out on a date and she said yes! [y/n], this could be it!”

he was smiling and laughing, and you knew he was feeling ecstatic with the way his eyes crinkled everytime he laughed

your heart shattered. you always dreaded this day, but nothing could have prepared you for the actual time matthew found someone else

“that’s great.” you replied, a bitter taste leaving your tongue as you spoke. “i’m happy for you.”

oblivious to your heartbreak, matthew hugs you tight

“thanks [y/n]! i know you always have my back.”

you laughed bitterly, feeling a lump in your throat.

“i do.” you replied. “i’m always here for you.”

% . . kim taerae :: long distance

taerae was your highschool sweetheart

the two of you got into a relationship when you were only sixteen

when you were both merely in highschool

you were so young yet so in love

it baffled you to think that you would’ve already met the one you wanna spent your entire life with at such a young age

but what wasn’t to love about taerae? he was kind, caring and sweet

he prioritized you over everything else, and he was never selfish

he always made sure that he was taking your feelings into consideration in every decision he made

but time came, when you were both in college,

taerae was offered to be part of the special exchange program in your university

as one of the smartest students in campus, taerae was offered to be sent to america to continue his program

he wanted to decline at first, in fear of leaving his family, his friends and his life

and of course, he was afraid of leaving you behind

but you told him not to worry, that you’d be okay

and besides, it wasn’t like the two of you would stop talking, right?

the opportunity was too good to pass on, so taerae accepted the offer

he would spend the next four years and america, and you, back in korea, waiting for his return

the two of you tried to make it work

texting and calling everyday, updating each other over the littlest things

but with the different timezones, the busy schedules, and with all of the other things in your life that you had to handle

suddenly, taerae could no longer prioritize you

and you didn’t want to be selfish, either

but waiting for your phone to ring at night only for you to wake up in the morning with not even a message was starting to hurt

you tried to talk to him about it, but there was nothing he could do

his studies had to be first. then his family second. he couldn’t leave his friends in the US either

so where did that leave you?

so on a cold winter night in korea, you called him, with tears in your eyes as he met you with a sullen expression

“this isn’t working out anymore, tae.” you said

“[y/n], baby we can work this out—“ he tried to fight it, but you both knew that there was nothing left to fight for anymore

“no, we can’t.” by then, you were crying, all of the accumulated frustration finally bursting from you.

“three more years, [y/n]. can’t you wait for three more years?” taerae asked

and it might’ve been selfish, but you couldn’t, not anymore

“i’m tired, tae.” you said

taerae said nothing, then, understanding that there was nothing he could do or say that would change your mind

“i’m sorry.” there were so much more he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words

“i’m sorry, too.” with a heavy heart, you ended the call, throwing your phone away as you cried

if only things were easier for you both, maybe you could’ve tried again.

% . . shen quanrui :: better off alone

ricky was one of the most attractive men you’ve ever set your eyes on

you met him in a party, amidst all of the random, unappealing men trying to hit on you

ricky was one of the only ones who kept their distance

who merely looked at you, but said nothing

for some reason, you were attracted to him almost immediately, so you went up to him for a conversation

almost immediately, you two clicked

you had a lot in common, and shared a lot of interests with each other

you spent the entire night getting to know one another

and the next thing you knew, his number was on your phone

you spent a few weeks going out on dates and talking over the phone

before you both decided to make it official

the first few weeks were fine

ricky introduced you to his friends, and you introduced him to yours

he took you out on multiple dates, bought you countless gifts and made sure that he treated you right

you felt the sparks of what could’ve been a long-term relationship

but things wouldn’t last forever

soon enough, you started to have disagreements with ricky

those disagreements turned into arguments, and those arguments turned into full blown fights

you couldn’t go out on dates without the two of you fighting over something

and even if you spent time with each other’s company, you would spend most of it in silence

because if any of you talked, you both knew you’d just end up arguing

you weren’t sure when it started to change, but you knew that your relationship wasn’t the same anymore

and you also knew that it was better to end it sooner than later

on a sullen morning, you came up to ricky’s apartment to talk

“what do you want?” ricky said, voice empty of any love or care.

“we need to break up.” you said, wanting to get your point across directly

albeit you knew ricky’s love had changed, you weren’t expecting him to react so coldly with your words

“sure.” was the only thing he said.

“is that all you have to say?” you asked, already feeling upset

“what? you wanna hear something else from me?” he mocked

the sliver of affection you felt for ricky finally slipped away, and was now replaced by bitterness

“i hate you.” you said, turning around and walking away

even though you walked out of his apartment curdling with rage, deep down, you could feel sadness, too

sadness over the good times you’ve spent with ricky

mere memories now, that it’s all over

but maybe, it was better for the both of you this way

% . . kim gyuvin :: there’s someone else

you’ve had a crush on gyuvin for years now

ever since you knew him in middle school, you’ve always idolized him

what was not to like? not only was gyuvin incredibly attractive,

he was one of the kindest boys you’ve ever known in your life

he genuinely cared about people, and was never one to be rude or disrespectful towards everyone

you weren’t close to him, but he’s known you since middle school, too

although he treated you like a friend, part of you wants more

you’ve always wanted to confess, to just tell him what you feel

mostly because you just wanted to get it over with

but a part of you couldn’t help but to have hope

that maybe, just maybe, gyuvin felt the same way for you, too

so, in high school, you tried to let him know

you did it in stages; first, you got closer to him, befriended him in the halls when he saw you during the first day of classes

you anonymously wrote him letters, sliding them inside his locker

you bought him gifts, and sent him flowers during special occassions

and even asked your other friends to hand him snacks and treats during soccer practice

all throughout the year, you carried out your plan, only to confess at the last day of the first school year

so when time came, you send him an anonymous letter, asking him to meet you at the rooftop

and when he came, you were already there, waiting

his shock at seeing you wasn’t the only thing he felt that day, because once he was there, your nervousness kicked in

“gyuvin, i have something to tell you.” you began, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“i’ve always wanted to say this and i feel like now might be—“

“i’m sorry, [y/n] but let me stop you there.” he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder

“y-yeah?” you replied with a hopeful heart

“i really appreciate all this, and i’m glad that it was you who was sending me all those stuff, but,” he said, “i have a girlfriend.”

your heart broke at his words, and you felt so empty you couldn’t even hear the rest of his words.

“—so i’m really, really sorry.” he frowned, an apologetic look plastered on his face. “are you ok?”

“y-yeah!” you cleared your throat, trying to swallow the lump that had formed there a second ago. “it’s okay! no worries.”

“you sure?” he asked, and you wanted to cuss him out for being so caring like this

because maybe then, you wouldn’t have fallen for him this hard

“mhm.” you let out a dry laugh. “i-i gotta go. sorry for wasting your time.”

“[y/n], wait—“ before he could stop you, you were already walking away and out of the rooftop

you hoped he wouldn’t follow, because it would have been even more embarrassing for him to witness you sob and cry while you ran away

you wanted to yell at him so bad for making you hurt like this

but then again, it wasn’t his fault

you were the dumb one who fell in love with someone who was never gonna be yours

what else could have he done?

% . . park gunwook :: first loves never last

you and gunwook knew each other when you were both toddlers

you met him in kindergarten, back when you didn’t even know what love was and could barely spell out your own name

he was a little mean to you, at first

as a child, he would often tease you and push you around

and you’d often be found crying, running to your mom and dad whining gun’ook pushed me!!

gunwook couldn’t help it, for some unknown reason, he just loved to play with you so much

but as you two grew older, gunwook realized it was because he liked you a little too much to be considered platonic

so when you were in middle school, gunwook took a leap of faith and decided to confess to you

you were both only fourteen, but you knew that you had feelings for him as well

you accepted his confession, and in return admitted to him that you felt the same way

he was ecstatic, absolutely in the clouds when you told him

the two of you decided not to do anything about for now, since you were both so young

you figured you’d label your relationship in the future, maybe after high school

so you two continued on— focusing on your individual lives together

you were still the best of friends, and gunwook continued to treat you the same

he continued to tease you a lot, and even pulled a few pranks on you here and there

you didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop, because you knew that that was the way he expressed his love

but gunwook would always make sure that you were alright

he’d pick you up after your classes, take you to a hole-in-the-wall ramen shop and buy you all of the food you wanted to eat

he’d take you to school events, gushing about how pretty you were in a dress and how lucky he was to be your date

you couldn’t have been more happy

things remained the same for years

until your final year of high school came

you and gunwook were still close but because you’ve both been busy with your final year, you haven’t had the time to hang out or see each other

you were busy studying for college entrance exams, while gunwook spent most of his time at school

he barely got to see you, and you weren’t replying much to his texts either so he just let you be

he respected your time and didn’t want to bother you. he knew how important your studies were, so he let you be

but things got worse soon after

during the times he’d invite you out, you’d always decline and say you were busy studying

while in your short breaks, you tried to ask him over, only for him to decline and say he’s hanging out with his friends

soon enough, the two of you stopped inviting the other out

until you eventually stopped talking all together

the day of your exams were nearing, and you were more busy than ever

but you wanted to talk to gunwook one last time

so when he said yes, and came right over to your house, you were delighted

“[y/n].” he greeted you. “how have you been?”

“alright, i guess.” you responded. “stressed. my exams are soon.”

“i remember.” he said. “you’ve been awful busy.”

“i know.” you sighed. “i’m really sorry—“

“i understand.” gunwook says. “i get it, yeah. it’s really important to you.”

you frowned. it was only then did it sink in how much you’ve neglected gunwook. he’d waited for you for months, and here you were.

“but,” gunwook continued. “i wanna be important to you too.”

the guilty kept creeping in. “you are important to me.”

“doesn’t seem like it, anymore.” he sighed.

you didn’t know what to say next, so you both sat there in silence.

you tried to think of something that would convince gunwook to forgive you, but you knew that everything was your fault.

if only you could’ve given him more attention, then maybe—

“—maybe it’s better this way.” gunwook says. “i don’t think we’re good for each other anymore, anyway.”

“what are you saying?” you asked.

“i’m saying it’s not the same anymore, [y/n].” he says “maybe we aren’t meant for each other.”

you felt your heart shatter at his words.

“i’m sorry, [y/n].” he stood up and began to leave. “i hope you pass your exams.”

and with that, he left

you remain there, sitting and feeling empty, as if when gunwook left, he took your heart with you

deep down, you knew he did

you just wished you would’ve taken his with you, too.

acehoons © 2023

[gwen1nnnnn]

midnight swim🌙 beomgyu x reader

description : Smut

Tw : Nipple play , riding , cussing , alcohol , kissing

YES I AM USING MY PFP FOR THIS LMAOOO SORRY IF MY SPELLING IS BAD BTW

11:58

It was late at night ab 12am and beomgyu and I wanted to go for a late night swim in our pool, I wore my black bikini and he wore his black swimming trunks with a black shirt , we got ready and went outside to are pool, gyu come in its not that cold I say, okay okay im coming in he says, the pool is so prefect rn gyu its not cold and its so relaxing I say, yeah yeah he says swimming towards me, he grabs me and puts me over his shoulder, heyyyy put me downnnn, then he throws me across to the deepend laughing , I lift my head up from the water pissed off , BEOMGYUUUU why would u do that I say swimming back to him , because is was silly he says grabbing on to my waist and pulling me closer to him, then he whispers in my ear

"lets go inside for a sec and get something to drink" okay sure i say swimming to the stair steps as he follows behind me ,we walk in getting the floors wet , then beomgyu walks to the kitchen and opens the cabinet grabbing a bottle of alcohol and gets two shot glasses , I just stand there a little shoocked, what are u staring at let's go he says , okay I say as we walk back outside with the goods, he places the alcohol and cups by the pool as we get back inside the water , he pours it into both glasses handing me one , we drink one , then two , then somehow three I told him we should stop and we did then we were swimming around together giggling and being silly , then he grabbed me by the waist once again but this time leaving a sloppy kiss on my lips , the pushes me to the edge of the pool and it just happened we started making out, his hands all over me going up and down my waist , I could feel his warm tongue in my mouth, he picks me up , my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms wrapped around his neck he steps out the pool carrying me back inside ,leading to the bedroom he throws me on the bed and sits beside me tapping his lap so I sit on it , I do as he wants he continued kissing me the kiss got more deep , I pulled away gasping for air his hands slip to my back removing the top of my bikini and tossing it to the floor, he starts kissing and bitting my neck whismpering little things in between as he plays around with my nipples and sneezing my boobs , he stops and gets up leaving me sitting on the bed as he takes off his shirt and shorts he sits back down and says "ride me" I was shoocked for a second but got up and took off my bottoms and sat on top of him as he puts his dick inside of me , I wrapp my arms around his neck as his hands on my waist guides me , then he starts whismpering "your doing so good for me y/n" "just like that move slow" "your so tight and warm for me"

"fuck ur doing so good" "your so beautiful" "you look do good on top of me" there it was I felt my high coming and so did he , "please gyu my legs are so sore just finish for me I said " and he did he layed me on my back and started pounding into me barring his face into my neck whismpering praises into my ear as I wrapp my legs around his waist , i could feel it I was so close and so was he , gyu please fill me up I said , he started slowing down as I felt warm liquid fill up inside of me afterwords we got cleaned took a bath and ordered some pizza

I HOPE YALL LIKED IT I WROTE THIS HALF ASLEEP LMAOOO

[buckyarchives]

we’re not really strangers | S. Stan [1.]

summary: a broken and washed up writer keeps showing up in Sebastian life as he struggles with his own loneliness. two people in two different world, but the tug is so intense it begins to eat Sebastian raw. he has to learn to love full heartedly and you need to learn to trust again after you got cheated out of your entire life.

word count : 4.9k

warnings: topics of depression, brief mentions of sewerslide, body dysmorphia

author note: i’ve never wrote an rpf and i used to dislike them but i just read a really good one and i watched doll eyes so that started this. i’m basing sebastian’s character based off of psychoanalysis him over that past 4 years (i can’t help it i’m sorry) and the couple of times i’ve met him. but i hope he’s not this depressed irl. take a place a before fresh and it’s mostly his pov. will probably be like 3-5 chapters. also wrote this in like 2 hours please be kind

masterlist | read on AO3

Sebastian stan likes blondes, he likes coffee after noon, working out, his mom, space and all its possibilities. He likes European countries yet he won't leave New York no matter how hard he thinks about it. He loves his family and friends. He likes when people tell him good job and are nice to him; even if it’s only because he's Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes he wonders if he really likes that last one or if he hates it, it depends on the day.

He will spend his days reading and talking with actors or directors, getting flowers for his girlfriend of the season. He doesn't read reviews about his movies. He’ll talk to his mom on the phone as often as he can, he works out almost every morning but he hates running. He stands in front of a mirror before going to bed, alone and vulnerable, picking apart everything he sees and wonders if everyone else sees it too. Probably.

But not tonight.

No, tonight he feels good - better. Recently casted for a new movie, a movie with a script and a director he feels confident about, which is always the best feeling. Last year was good for him, but this year needs to be better. Sebastian is tired and needs to get away from commercial movies and Marvel, but Bucky Barnes will always haunt over his shoulders like the way Carter Baizen did for so long.

And tonight is only the beginning. They haven't started filming yet, not close. Daisy is in the middle of filming and it's still early, too much workshopping and bonding as a team before that. Sebastian likes to know who he's working with, the director and their work ethic and past projects. The co-stars and their humor and if they can cry on command or not.

Mimi is a nice director. She's new and has fresh ideas - ha, that's a pun. She makes Sebastian laugh and not feel like a character even off-screen. Sebastian likes her curly hair.

She laughs and the air is cool, Sebastian can see her breath. “It was a nice day, I'm really looking forward to working with you.”

Sebastian is lonely and this feel like a nice way to segway to ‘i have to leave, goodnight.’

“Me too, and the script is just - wow.” Sebastian exaggerates his words to match his feelings, “it's deep.”

He wants to hold onto the conversation forever and drag it out until it's so awkward he has to grit his teeth. Sebastian doesn't want to go home now - but it's late, past midnight - and despite the rumors, New York does have to sleep sometimes. His stomach grumbles and he suddenly has the appetite of a teengers first hangover.

Mimi nods and thanks him and they continue to walk. Sebastian speaks up, “is it weird to say iI'mhungry and not tired.” he looks down at his watch again, it's almost 2 am.

And Mimi understands, she smiles. “Not weird, I agree. It might be the excitement for this project but – what are you hungry for?”

“Coffee, breakfast food,” Sebastian replies honestly.

The director smiles, Sebastian hopes there are no paparazzi - this looks like a date - no, it doesn’t but the press latch onto any woman he's seen with as a date.

“I know a perfect place, and it is empty,” she says. Sebastian is suspicious - it's late, he repeats in his head.

“This late?” his eyebrows quirked up.

“I know the owner,” she affirms. Sebastian nodded and they continued walking.

Mimi talks about the movie more, how she's close friends with the writer and coincidentally, she met her through the owner of the said cafe they'd soon find a safe haven in. Sebastian nods along to her words and listens, he hates the sound of his own voice sometimes. Listening is nice.

They reach a cafe-deli type. The sign says it is closed and no one is inside but the lights are on. Mimi had a grin on her face as she knocks on the door. Sebastian watched as you came from the back and unlocked the door, Mimi smiles and greets you excitedly but your face remains monotone - almost cold. Mimi takes no offense, this must be how you always are.

You don't take immediate notice of Sebastian, which is nice for once. Mimi talks about how starved she is and desperately needs an egg sandwich from you, Sebastian agrees in his head. You hold your head high and strong like you know better, but not in a snobby way. Sebastian can tell when someone is snobby pretty soon on, people like that end up surrounding him more often than not, unfortunately.

Sebastian's eyes are an icy blue that reminds you of the winter lakes back in the midwest. That’s the first thing you notice, Mimi acts like this is her home as she plops down at the bar. You still don't say anything. Sebastian wonders if you're a writer too, or maybe an actor. He doesn’t recognize you. Sebastian sits next to mimi, he feels weirdly comfortable despite how cold and empty the cafe is.

The sound of an espresso machine starts before Mimi can even order sometimes, she must go a lot and then a coffee is in front of her in no time. You finally turn to him, you're wearing lipgloss, and he notices way too quickly.

“Would you like a coffee, Sebastian?” you ask him plainly. He didn't tell you his name, neither did Mimi. You must know him then, it wouldn't be surprising but weirdly it did.

“Yeah, anything you have. And eggs - sunny side up if you can.” you don’t reply, nodding and your mouth is thin-lipped. Not a smile nor a frown. You leave in the back, Sebastian doesn’t realize his eyebrows were furrowed until Mimi says something.

“Don't worry, she's always like that. I promise she's not miserable or mean.” mimi says, gesturing to the cold demeanor that you carry. Sebastian wonders if Mimi has to explain this to everyone, or if you hate the Captain America movies and mimi just want to make it less awkward.

It's a comfortable silence for a while, aside from the city whispering from behind the glass windows and the sound of your cooking. Sebastian catches glimpses of your face and he can't help but think you're beautiful in a stone-cold, greek statue, model type way. He can imagine seeing your face in a famous painting from the renaissance time.

Maybe you caught him staring, or maybe it was just the cold demeanor again but he swore you glared at him.

“Cooks out - so it might not be as good as usual,” you say and place the food in front of them. Mimi grins and begins to eat. Sebastian pulls out his billfold to pay, he doesn't know you and feels a twang of guilt at the thought of keeping you up past closing time. He wants to pay extra.

You notice him before he can pull out any money, “it's on the house.”

Sebastian thinks of that as a sign that you don't hate him, and you're just monotone.

“Y/N helped Lauryn write the movie, specifically your character too.” Mimimumbled through cheese and bacon.

That’s the first time he's heard your name, Sebastian repeats it in his head so as to not forget.

You scoff and Sebastian thinks for a moment you're mad, you're not. “Helped? I practically gave her the entire idea. And I swear, Mimi if you don't use La jardin for the dance scene, I'll riot in front of your house.”

“You get so defensive every time, but whenever we ask to add you as co writers you say no.” Mimi snarks, shaking her head and smiling. “Mysterious, mysterious girl.”

“Can't say I imagined Sebastian Stan as Steve though, I was thinking more of Chris Pine.” you joke, Mimi knows you're joking but your flat tone makes Sebastian second guess if you are actually upset about it or not. “was he busy?”

Mimi laughs, good - a joke.

“Not even a second choice?” Sebastian smiles sheepishly, he hopes you were joking.

Sebastian thinks you're going to smile, and your lip twitches. You hum and it sounds as smooth as the coffee tastes, like honey. “Maybe third.”

Your eyes warm in his direction, the feeling in his chest is foreign.

“You’re a better critic than you are a casting director.” Mimi jokes again. Sebastian wonders how long you've been friends.

“a critic?” Sebastian perks up, critics are his worst enemy in life. No matter how much he can ignore them, one well-written article can make or break an entire year for him.

“Not actually, I just watch a lot of movies and have strong opinions.” your eyes land back on him.

“Harsh. Harsh opinions.” Mimi makes a point, and you roll your eyes and almost smile again. Almost. Sebastian wants to see you smile, what a weird thought for a stranger he’s only known for 20 minutes. You do make good eggs, but how do you fuck up eggs?

“Anything you recognize me from?'' Sebastian slaps on a cheeky smile, and maybe it's arrogant to think he knows the answer to that. But he is Sebastian Stan and you watch a lot of movies. You open your mouth to speak but Mimi interrupts again, not in an annoying way.

“Don't bruise his ego,” she warns.

How harsh could you be? Sebastian starts to regret asking about himself.

“Anyways, how could I not? I vividly remember seeing the covenant play in the hospital when my baby sister was born; a weird choice for hospital cinema.”

Sebastian's glad you don't mention Marvel or gossip girl, the covenant isn't any much better either though.

“That is very weird. Any critics?” Sebastian doesn't even know why he asked tt, he's going to regret it.

Mimi whispers an ‘oh boy’ under her breath and Sebastian feels like he needs to buckle down and brace himself. Even worse as your eyes scan him, judging him.

“I'm not here was your worst movie and you need to fire your agents or whoever told you that was a good idea.”

Oh?

“I thought it was a good script.”

You look at him as if he had three heads. Mimi looks scared.

“I can see the vision but the story tries too hard to be deep and pretentious - it settles on just being a cry fest and it doesn't even do that well. The main character is just a shitty person with a shitty life and the writing fails to make me feel bad for him, no matter how good you or J.K Simmons's acting was”

Sebastian hangs onto the small compliment hidden in there by his fingernails. You're not done yet.

“I, Tonya was really good. Marvel is… Marvel, same thing for gossip girl. The rest of your characters have been the same angry or toxic men trope over and over again, no offense, you need more range.”

That hurt a lot less than Sebastian expected. He feels speechless, mimi is still eating and is silent. Sebastian isn't hungry anymore and your cold eyes are stripping him down naked. He still thinks you're beautiful.

“Do you like anything I've been in?” why does he keep asking questions he knows he won't like?

You think for a moment, look him dead in the eye, and smile. And even if it's meant to be snarky or sarcastic, Sebastian thinks it's beautiful and warm. Warmer than the coffee in his hands. It reaches your eyes and crinkles at the end and he knows it's genuine, it utterly stuns him and he almost thinks he missed your response.

“Once upon a time.”

Sebastian can’t help but smile at that, “give me one complaint so you don't send me home with a broken heart.” he bargains, half joking with small doubt it won't be back handed.

“I have controversial opinions on superhero movies and the people that play them, but you portray Bucky Barnes really well.'' You say quietly like you're scared of being nice, Sebastian takes it and he doesn't notice he's grinning with a light in his eyes. You don't either, mimi does - she is already texting Lauryn about it.

“I don't like to comment on people's acting abilities because I'm not an actor, but I can tell when someone is good or bad.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes at you. “You sure do comment on people's writing and directing though, you're a writer?”

Your eyes are cold again and your back straightens, even Mimi tenses and Sebastian wonders if he said something wrong. He gets no reply from you, and Sebastian sees a mask fall from your face - one he didn't notice you were wearing until now.

“No, I'm not.” your voice is monotone again. When did it have feelings? Sebastian doesn't remember when you started to sound humane and passionate, he said something wrong.

Mimi rushes the rest of her food in her mouth and reads the room as you retreat behind to the kitchen again, so quickly and quietly Sebastian almost doesn't notice.

“It's now late-late, I'm heading home.” Mimi sighs, heavily implying he needs to leave too. Sebastian agrees.

He glances back at you once more when Mimi yells goodbye, you don't look at Sebastian.

\

Sebastian prepares for the movie, he doesn’t think about you or the cafe for two weeks. He goes on a date and he doesn’t call her back.

his house is suffocating, it’s too big for him and he knows it. women and friends stay over but it feels empty. He needs air - paparazzi - he groans. suck it up, Sebastian. put on a coat and find a place to eat, he chooses a blue sweatshirt and sunglasses.

Every time he goes out he thinks maybe no one will recognize him. He's always wrong. He should know better.

aimlessly he walks. Sebastian knows the streets of New York like the back of his hand. He feels lost despite the fact he’s walked down this street many times, so much changed anyways.

Jones' place.

he remembers the place from a few weeks ago, remembers you and your cold face. Sebastian remembers you smiling and him feeling giddy about it, but now he can’t imagine it in his head. Sebastian had said something wrong, he remembers that. He wishes he got your number.

you knew him and you didn’t dance around him like a celebrity - when did the person get erased and celebrity scribbled in its place? you were normal and not on vogue or GQ and you talked to him like he wasn’t either.

in a daze, he walks in and sits down. it’s open this time, and a group of teenagers sits at a booth in the corner. an elderly man sits alone at a table, Sebastian wonders if he’s married, and if she passed and that’s where they used to sit together. maybe you’d know.

but he doesn’t see you at first. tapping his finger on the bar - you appear and you don’t look at him, don’t notice him. walking straight past him and giving a chocolate croissant to the elderly man, maybe you did see him and are just insanely good at covering it up, you don’t smile at the man but your features lighten.

you turn back around and your eyes hit Sebastian dead center like you knew he was there because Sebastian was right.

“same as last time?” you ask, of course you’d remember his order. it was simple and that was your job.

Sebastian nods, “no egg, just coffee.”

“It's not on the house this time!” you yell as you disappear into the back.

Sebastian smiles for some reason.

\

Daisy Edgar-Jones' accent makes Sebastian feel weirdly at home despite the fact he’s not from England and has never found any sense of comfort there.

Sebastian bites the inside of his cheek as he listens to Mimi speak about the movie, he dozed off, to be honest. the writers and producer speak over each other in the zoom call. Daisy is still in England and they start filming in two weeks. Sebastian is excited - the type of excitement that you mix with anxiety because it also makes you want to throw up.

Your name is mentioned briefly and Sebastian is paying attention now. Lauryn dances around the fact you practically wrote the whole script - why don’t you take credit? Lauryn is an extroverted woman who smiles a lot and tries to make everyone as comfortable as possible, the same with Mimi.

It makes no sense. Why are you so distant and monotone?

Sebastian opens Instagram for the first time in a week. He realized recently most social media was bullshit, he was turning 40 this year, and there are more important things to focus on.

search history.

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n writer

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n

(imsebastianstan) sundance film fest

(imsebastianstan) daisyedgarjones

(imsebastianstan) mjonf

/

Sebastian has been acting since a kid, he took a break between then and his first real job but he's been surrounded by film and cameras most of his life. Being in front of a camera should come naturally to him. Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis thing but he feels like he wants to throw up.

Coming back from some stupid junket, he doesn't remember when the feeling of needing to hurl settled in his stomach but even hours after, it hasn't left. Sebastian wonders how many people know that he paces in his room before filming, he'll anxiously bite on his nails and look in the mirror and wonder if he should have skipped that meal earlier.

Home feels foreign now. He misses his mom and he can't seem to find time to go see her. His stomach feels empty - it is empty. He's only had a salad today.

Sebastian wants to flee, where it's private and warm. His steps carried him through the city, maybe he should call that girl back? He doesn't want to be lonely tonight.

Suddenly, he feels the presence of cameras snapping pictures of his panic attacks across the street. It's like a sixth sense now, he hates it. Sometimes when his day will blur and depression hits, he'll see the photos of himself later not recognize the person on his phone. Or he'll just hate what he sees.

He doesn’t want to have to do that routine again tomorrow morning.

Then he remembers you, remembers the street he's on. and then before he can realize his breath is already suffocating him and your cafe is in front of him. It's closed but the lights are on - why is he here? Why is he knocking on the door?

Your face is concerned when you open it, Sebastian's chest feels heavy, can you tell? You must have, you must be familiar with the look of despair, panic, and the intense feelings of doom, because you let him in with no word.

Sebastian's staring again as you make him the same coffees he's ordered twice now. You're nice but guarded, Sebastian wonders if you'll ever let it down. Because he is now. Your hair is tied up and your full face is in view, no muscles move and you look just as monotone and bored as before. You look like statues, beautiful statues. Like your cheekbones and exposed collarbone were sculpted with stone or clay. Your lips are plump, you're not smiling - not frowning. You remind him of the Mona Lisa.

Embarrassment washed over him when he jolted like a paranoid creep as you set his coffee down. Sebastian mumbled a sorry under his breath and you don't say anything still, why haven't you said anything?

A laptop and cup of tea are set in front of the seat next to him, a google doc is open and he sees a script. He’ll feel guilty about it later but his neck cranes to see what is written. Sebastian barely reads a line before the laptop closes with a slam, you're looking at him with a glare, and he flinches again.

“You're nosy.” you say, making your way to sitting next to him now, sipping on the tea and staring off into space.

“Thought you said you weren't a writer?” Sebastian feels like he's going into tricky territory, scratch that - he knows he is.

Mumbled through your lips, “I'm not.”

You sound haunted, Sebastian wants to know why.

Maybe he is nosy.

Sebastian needs to keep talking or else his anxiety will eat him raw, he’ll choke on his thoughts and die in the middle of your cafe. Then he'd feel really bad. At least he doesn't feel lonely, a ghost of a person sits next to him yet he feels more comfortable than in a room full of people. How odd.

“You're not going to ask why I knocked on your door at 11 pm? Or do you just let any stranger in at night?” he tries to joke, but it comes out half-hearted like most things.

“You looked like you were going to die, I'm not going to be responsible for Sebastian stan's death,” you say, scrolling through your phone. Twitter. “I'm sure some 16 year old would dox me or something.”

Sebastian laughs, slowly picking up on your dry humor, but he knows you're unfortunately right.

“How'd you meet Lauryn?” Sebastian asks, clawing at your guarded walls as he also tries to calm himself down. He doesn't even remember why he was panicking earlier.

“A film festival in Greece, 2009 - I think,” you answer honestly, sipping your coffee again. Sebastian notices the rings on your fingers.

Sebastian wants to ask how you got into films - he feels like that's the wrong thing to say again. He doesn't want you to drive him out again, hoping to get your number before he leaves.

The iPhone in his pocket dings, it's Ellie, his date from a few days ago. She's asking if he wants to come over with a winky face, that her bed feels cold and Sebastian wants to throw up again.

“Girlfriend?” you ask, side-eyeing his phone.

“No, I don't have time for that right now.” part lie, not his girlfriend but somehow he always finds time to date. Sometimes he hates himself for it because he always loves half heartedly. He never liked commitment anyways. “You?”

“No,” you say plainly. Changing the subject at an uncharacteristic rate, “why have you so shaken up at such a time?”

Sebastian wonders if he should lie and make up some stereotypical actor excuse, or just say he doesn't know. Avoid the topic that he’s spent the past 3 weeks with new people every day but he still feels lonely. That he wants to crumble in front of any camera. That he's tired of picking himself apart.

But you sit there so mysteriously and Sebastian wants to know you too. Maybe if he gets vulnerable you'd feel okay doing the same, he tries to avoid the thought of expecting that from you, because he shouldn't. This will be an olive branch.

“I feel lonely.” he starts. “I don’t want to be home right now, so I went for a walk, and then the paps -“

he cuts himself off before he turns into word vomit. you're sitting next to him, not looking at his face. Sebastian wants you to look at him.

“you live in the city?”

“Rockland county.”

you hum, “far way to go for a walk.”

“I know.”

a moment of silence, Sebastian wants to cry for some reason. “Are you going to that girl's house?”

Sebastian's eyebrows furrow for a second, you're referring to the text. you were just as nosy as him it seems. and maybe he could go to her house, either it would destroy him or he’d feel a little better. she’d probably ask him about the new movie, flirt, and have sex, she’d talk to him like a character and he’d go home. He doesn't want to go home.

“no.” Sebastian almost whispers, “I'm not sure where I'm going.”

he was so lost, it’s pathetic.

you look at him for once you don’t look frozen. Sebastian wants to know what’s going on behind your eyes. you’re thinking, that’s obvious enough. eyes scanning him up and down he feels vulnerable. it’s unfair how much he doesn't know about you.

“I have a spare room if you're desperate.” you offer. an olive branch. Sebastian feels like choking.

He also feels guilty, because he doesn't know you and you’ve already made him coffee for free when you didn’t need to. “no, you don’t have-“

“You feel so small and tiny in a big house like that, it’s like living with a ghost when you are lonely, right? it feels taunting, even." You speak honestly, speaking from experience, you’ve been where Sebastian has. He still feels like crying but now he understands, the loneliness slowly drains from his body without realizing it.

“okay.” he whispers, almost scared to accept.

this is you being vulnerable, he soon realizes as you tell him you’ll finish closing up - living only across the alleyway in the back. you're being vulnerable by sharing a space, we’re he’ll see you raw and open.

and he saw it. old coffee mugs and everywhere the matching stains in the wood. a sweatshirt is thrown over your couch. a record playing with 80s goth music. bright orange bottles of pills. Banksy prints are nailed on the wall. books on screenwriting stacked on the coffee table. a cut-off and discarded hospital bracelet on the counter.

Sebastian asks about the vinyl, but he doesn’t bring up the empty Xanax bottles or the bracelet. you're glad.

The apartment is small and he feels warm. it’s foreign and strange - but it’s the most comfortable he’s felt in at least a week. you show him the extra bedroom, the beds made and it's mostly empty. a side table with a lamb and a wall full of shelves. books and movie scripts fill it, he sees an oscar award hidden and dusty behind a copy of pride and prejudice.

the front room is filled with warm lights, it’s settled the fog in his brain and he feels better You're sitting on a green couch that you found on the Facebook market place and he thinks you’re beautiful. Sebastian sits next to you and understanding is shared between you two, what it is? he’s not sure. but he feels safe and understood and he doesn’t want to leave.

Sebastian is not tired and neither are you, your leaning intoSebastian'sn touch and he doesn’t question why.

“thank you.” is all he can think to say.

“don’t, not yet.” you sound tortured and Sebastian can’t stop the word from leaving his mouth. he just has to know.

“what broke you?”

too much. everything. nothing at all. a man. my talent and my desire to be my loved, you think. a shaky exhale leaves your mouth and Sebastian thinks he carry your sorrows if you’d just smile at him again.

“I don’t know.” you settle on and Sebastian understands.

Sebastian's hand grazed above your arm, you don’t flinch out of his touch. your warm and soft and he melts. he wants to ask you why you have an Oscar, if it’s yours and why you were at the hospital 2 days ago and why you're chasing him with a stone-cold face

the extra bedroom goes unused and his limbs are warm and feel perfect against yours. the warm lights lull him to sleep, your breath is steady and Sebastian realized you smile in your sleep and he hopes it’s because he’s caressed your back as you dazed off. Sebastian wraps a blanket around the two of you.

now don’t get anything incorrect. Sebastian stan doesn’t believe in love at first sight, sometimes he wonders if he even believes in love at all because sometimes it feels impossible to love. his mother and father taught him commitments are lies and his partners convinced him of that. he loves his friends - he thinks - but they always come and go. they never knew him anyways.

but as the sun hits his face and he feels the blanket around him on your couch. Faye Webster is spinning on the record playing softly and you’re swaying your hips in the kitchen. you don’t realize he’s awake and your mask falls down. your cooking something and humming along, a thin-lipped smile on your face.

Sebastian doesn’t know you but at this moment he does. he feels normal and like he’s known you his entire life. it’s scary and he feels oncoming doom but he lets himself be and watches.

you seemed more alive this morning as you gave him toast. he didn’t ask for it but it was the best toast he has had in a while. Sebastian asks if you slept on the couch all night, you smiled and he almost dropped dead. no reply but that was enough. he danced with you in the kitchen, it was weird and domestic and Sebastian is looking at you like he’s in love.

but he’s not. and neither are you. The fog settles and you say goodbye and open the shop. Sebastian goes home and he never got your number.

and he has to leave tomorrow for Canada and go back to his life.

Sebastian doesn’t talk to you for another week.

[whenthep8wn]

deserve.

Daisy jones x fem!reader

Warnings: cursing, a little internal homophobia, SOPILERS FOR EP 9, NICKY SLANDER, use of Y/N

A/N: OKAY YEAH I FINALLY WROTE A FIC AND ITS SUPER LONG!! okay bc it's my first fiction be nice also I love daisy jones and the six AND I JUST GOT THE BOOK! Request stuff!!!

How could he leave her like that? Not even just leave her. Period. But leave her in the fucking shower! Epecially When she was like that. What kinda of evil person would you have to be to leave someone there like that when you were basically the whole reason why that happened in the first place, and then you leave! "THAT GOD DAMN ITALIAN ASSHOLE!" That was the first thing that came out of my mouth when daisy told me what happened the night before the band and I, came barging out of are rooms after we all heard daisy screaming profanities at Nicky for leaving her there in the shower. "Y/N, please." The beautiful flower named girl said shushing me down from drawning any more attention to are seat in the crowded tour bus of daisy and the six. "Sorry," I said looking down quietly. "Come on Y/N, you're my closest, longest friend. You're the only one who truly knows me, and that's why you're the only person who knows the full story." "Well, I'm honored." I said with slight sarcasm making the fire head girl in front of me smile. "Anyway, I always got bad energy from Nicky, even when you invited me to the wedding. But, I didn't want to say anything because you were so happy." I said earning a strange look from daisy that turned to a small delighted smile. "I mean daisy, Those men didn't deserve you at all, Jesus-" "Wait Y/N what other men?" "All of them. Nicky, Billy, the guy who stole your beautiful Sublime, whatever song that he turned into a hit that should've been you're hit daisy!" "Y/N-" "You deserve so much better daisy." I said staring directly into her soul so maybe should would understand what I'm trying to say. That beautiful fiery girl scooched closer to me to look further into my soul. "Then who do I deserve Y/N?" Daisy said with that mischievous smirk she usually has on her face. I didn't need to say anything or so I thought. I thought we were on the same page but I guess I was wrong. I kissed her. Because I thought it was the right thing to do, because i thought it would change our relationship, because I thought it would change who I was, and where we were. But it didn't. I was still a woman. A lesbian. In the 70s. And she was still a woman. A straight woman. In the 70s. But, she didn't move. She didn't connect are lips like the puzzle piece that I thought desperately needed to be together. So I pulled away. I got up. "Y/N-" "Daisy, I'm sorry I shouldn't have. I-i- i didn't know what I was thinking, I know you don't feel the same, I'm so stupid!" "Y/N-" "-and- and look where we are I don't know what i thinking!" "Y/N!" "WHAT! NO! I mean no! I'm sorry I need to go." I stayed up all night. I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't allow me. My mind would only focus on her. My mind Could only focus on her. Around midnight I heard a very rushed knock on my hotel door. I was scared to open the door, but I was too tired and delusional to care less, so I just wanted to get this over with and tell who ever it was to fuck off so maybe I could get some sleep. When I opened a fiery red headed girl jumped on me and wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms slung around my neck before I could even get a word in. "Daisy-?" I said questioning why she was knowing full well she didn't love me how I wanted her too. "Daisy, what are you doing here?" I asked again. "Shhhh-" she whispered putting her finger to my lips. "I'm here for you." She said while jumping down from my body. "Wha-" "It's you. I deserve you. You deserve me." She send stepping closer to me almost filling the space between are body's. "I want you." She said sincerely. "Okay, but daisy, the way you acted on the bus, and all the men! I never thought you would feel the same way." "I know, I'm sorry. But you just freaked me out I never thought you would feel that way and in front of the band I just... froze." She said while looking down. "But know that I know it makes a lot of sense." She giggled. "Hmm, I guess I was wrong then." "Yes you were very wrong. You deserve me."

[rustys-lodge]

Summary : Elvis takes you in for a day...or two...Sue lin kind of thing...

Pairings : Platonic Elvis x reader.

Warnings : none i guess ????

A/N : repeat after me ▪︎▪︎ Rusty we forgive you for the quality of this gif because its a movie from 1960 and it's alright ▪︎▪︎ thank you. Anyways, don't know what this is, to be honest, i just wanted to write something Elvis before my spark for him goes away. Also let's all forget the fact that i wrote smut about him too lol.

------

Sitting against the cracked wall outside the fair, your eyes traveled across the empty street around you...You weren't so young...You shouldn't be feeling scared..But...But your daddy warned you about the men outside the farm, their behaviour and their....what's the word ? Lust ?

A whimper snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked down at the little creature tilting it's head at you. "At least you're here." You gurgled, your hand landing on the dog's head.

"What are you doin out here all on ya' own, little girl ?"

Your heart skipped a beat.

You lifted your head up and bat your eyes at the man towering over you, scoffing. He didn't look so...lustful. But you had to be careful anyways-

" i ain't a little girl." You roared. " And i ain't alone." Your eyes darted down to the whining dog beside you.

The suited up man let out a little giggle..."Well, i'm sorry, sweetheart. I just don't think this is the right place for you." He paused for a second, hesitating. "Are you...waitin' on somebody ?."

A sigh escaped your throat. You were...indeed,waiting for somebody. Your uncle, to be more precise. He said he'll come pick you up at 8....it's almost midnight.

"I am." The words came out louder than you wanted them to be. "My uncle."

"What kind of uncle leaves a little thing like you outside at such a late hour."

You growled. A little thing like me...?

"It ain't none o' ya business, mister. Now i'd like to be left alone, if you mind." You waved him off. But he didn't budge.

"Ain't you a little bratty ?" He commented, causing triumph to travel down your whole body. "How can a little girl like you be so bratty ?"

The man didn't seem too bothered by your behaviour. "It don't seem like it's workin..." you huffed, earning yourself a second chuckle from him.

"Well am i gonna have to break my legs and sit down beside you or do you wanna go to a diner and wait for your uncle there ?"

It really wasn't working at all. And...Your uncle didn't seem like he was coming, either.

Your eyes traveled around the man's features. His slicked back hair, his freshly shaved face, the suit hugging his chest. He didn't seem like the dangerous kind. And frankly, you weren't feeling so safe with your new pet friend either.

Maybe it's best to have him around ?

But your momma taught you better than this.

"Well..."

Your momma did teach you better than this....But she didn't teach you what to do in such cases. You need help...

"The sidewalk's pretty dirty..." A small chuckle shyly left your lips and the man thereupon brought his arm out, offering you his hand.

"Then come with me. We'll go to a coffee shop around town. Just to make sure nothin' bad happens to ya."

You hesitated for a second, before smacking your hand into the man's.

"Can i at least get your name, little girl ?"Your new friend bent down, meeting your eyes. "Mine's Elvis. Elvis presley"

You smiled. "Mine's Y/N. And i ain't a little girl."

-----

PART 2

Sorry to whoever read the first version, at last i decided Elvis would be better. I wanna write a part 2 and 3 and 4 ❤️ i love the combo so much. If yall got any requests, go for it !!🖤🖤🖤⚘️⚘️⚘️

[strawberryicebreakers]

HELLO i hope this ask finds u well :]

so not to be annoying or anything but out of curiosity (and immense unending passion for the topic and also your fanfic) is there a chance the uhf fic will finish? not like, right now or in a month, but just in general :)) sorry ive read the draft like 10 times by now and yknow lol :)) have a lovely day from the weird al fans of tumblr!!

hello!!! your ask finds me in one of my labs, hunkered down between classes.

it's completely alright to ask! there's always a chance I'll go back to any of my drafts [including anything I've posted to ao3 and unfortunately abandoned over the years], but I'm still working on my longer ted lasso fic [which is now at 123k! very weird to know I wrote that much] and I'm a bit worried that trying to revisit an older draft might knock me out of my groove before I finish it.

that being said! I still do incredibly appreciate all the love you + others have given the draft so far; it's so sweet to see people so passionate about something I'm playing around with [and I think of the one comic that was drawn nearly every day]. there's a scene or two that're further down the plot of the story than I wrote in the draft [ergo, doesn't take place right where the draft stops] but I'd still love to share it as a thank-you. as always, it's very unedited, very rough, but hopefully something to y'all will enjoy. :) have a nice day as well!

Sinatra wasn’t the worst to listen to, but when it seemed as though all the radio stations in Oklahoma could loop through were the man’s Christmas albums, Robert could understand why some people would have a grudge against the guy. It’d been an hour and a half of Sinatra, Sinatra, and even more Sinatra, slowly driving a wedge into whatever Christmas spirit he still had at the ripe-old age of twenty-five. 

Teri’s parents lived all the way in the suburbs of Oklahoma City, a far cry away from his and George’s apartment in Tulsa. Usually, the traffic would make him wish for a day where faster-than-light travel was the norm, but at two in the morning on Christmas Day, I-44 had been all but deserted.

Even with the lights strung ‘round each house, little reindeer pulling plastic sleighs that gleamed back under his headlights, Robert had to turn his brights on to see the house numbers. His car slowed to a crawl, creeping through the picture of perfect suburbia. 

Each house was perfect in its own right; a blanket of snow on each lawn, a wreath on each door, a brand new car or two in each driveway. He’d bet his life savings that all (save one or two) of the houses had perfect families, too. A husband and his wife, their two kids, an overexcited dog or a temperamental cat. 

It used to nauseate him, seeing places like this, knowing this would be his life. That he’d be the father waking up on Christmas to a wife wrapped around him, that he’d have to -, do things with her that he didn’t want to think about doing. 

He shuddered, chilled despite his heater working overtime and then some. Usually, his car was on the colder side ‘cause Robert ran hot, but George was more delicate than he was. He hadn’t grown up in Oklahoma, wasn’t used to how cold the winters got. If George had it his way, they’d live in a damn blast furnace from the second the temperature began to drop. 

He parked, an inch from the curb of the nicest house he’d ever seen, staring at a mailbox that someone’d painted “The Cambells” on in curly, vintage font. 

With a pre-emptive cringe, he honked his horn, quick as he could. It was what he’d told George he’d do when he got here, letting him know he was good to run out. 

Robert stared at the door, waiting to see the familiar head of curls he’d grown fond of. He didn’t know what to expect, not after getting a frantic phone call at half-past midnight, begging for him to pick him up. 

There was a joke somewhere in there, that George got lucky that Robert’s a night owl, but before he could hoot down the phone, he’d realized George was serious. It wasn’t some midnight worry, not a kid asking his mom to pick him up ‘cause he can’t sleep without a certain blanket. 

George knew how far the drive was, how miserable it’d be to drive in the middle of the night. He knew how bad it’d be for him and Teri if he disappeared without goodbye.

And yet, he called.

Robert didn’t think there’d ever be a time in his life where he wouldn’t answer.

[thequeenofthewinter]

Midnight

Hello Tumblrverse! I’m coming at you with something very special today for my friend @blossom-adventures as this week is her birthday! I hope you enjoy this little piece I wrote up for you and that you have the loveliest of lovely weeks, Blossom. ❤️

“Would you meet me at the top of the Palace’s parapets at midnight?”

The question has echoed in Jaina’s ears all afternoon, distracting her from being able to get anything else done. Try as she might, her thoughts seem to always drift back to Ulfric’s words in her ears. What could he want with her and at midnight no less?

She sighs heavily as she walks the streets of Windhelm’s infamous Snow Quarter, various friends and citizens alike calling out to greet the familiar figure of the Dragonborn. While being in the city has been an adjustment for her, the people there—and Ulfric—have certainly made her feel at home.

“Would you meet me—”

She blows a piece of hair out of her face in frustration with herself. 

Surely, she hasn’t done anything wrong or broken any of the city’s rules, and it isn’t as if she hasn’t seen or interacted with the Jarl before. What on Nirn makes this so different? And why can’t she get him out of her head? 

Jaina bites her lip as an image of his face drifts into view.

Oh.

Her face turns a mixture between red and maroon all the way up to the tips of her ears. While she has been trying to deny that she feels some sort of attraction to the Jarl, her body tells no lies. She had been hoping that the situation would just resolve itself on its own, and she could go on ignoring this little infatuation, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

If only she could save him and herself from her own emotions—and the secret she is hiding.

Jaina shakes her head. There is no use dwelling on it now, especially since she has already told Ulfric of her troubles, and he hasn’t treated her any differently because of it. Perhaps, that’s it. She feels some sort of affection for him or some type of companionship with him because he has been one of the few who she has trusted enough outside of Jorrvaskr to know exactly what she is.

Either way, there is no use thinking on it any further. All she can do now is wander the snowy streets as she waits for the appointed time.

It comes sooner than she thought it would.

Minutes turn to hours, and the sun sinks into the horizon, but Masser and Secunda are nowhere to be found. They have chosen to hide their faces from the world, shrouding the sky in inky blackness.

When Jaina arrives to the Palace’s roof, there is no one there. The only thing she sees is a worn blanket thrown across the floor. She glances around carefully once more to search for Ulfric and then sits down on the blanket, leaning her back against the cool stone of the walls.

Where could he be? She was certain he had said midnight.

Her fingers pick at the beds of her fingernails as she looks for something to distract herself from her nervousness. Eventually, she turns her face to the sky.

There she sees an ocean of stars unlike any she has ever seen before. It takes her breath away.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it.” A voice whispers in her ear, and goosebumps erupt over her skin. 

She knows that voice, and as she turns her head just a fraction, she finds herself centimeters away from Ulfric’s face. How did he get so close to her without her noticing?

“Good evening, Jaina.” He smiles at her slightly, and her heart bursts into a thousand butterflies. “I’m sorry I am late, especially since I was the one who asked you here, but I was trying to see if there was a better place to watch the stars.”

“No, no. That’s quite alright. I was more than content here.” She stops herself, and then realizes she has stuck her foot in her mouth. The fluttering in her body and pulse pounding in her ears makes it nearly impossible for her to focus. “Not that I am incontent to have you here now or that—”

“Relax, Jaina. I know exactly what you mean.” A small chuckle escapes from his lips. “Windhelm has some of the best conditions in all of Tamriel for stargazing.”

Is this why he asked her here?

Jaina is suddenly grateful for the cover of darkness. For if he could see her face now, it would be clear to him that she is blushing furiously.

“I—I didn’t know you liked to watch the stars too, Jarl Ulfric.”

“I did quite a bit of that when I was a soldier in the Great War.” He answers her without prompting. “I heard that you like to do so as well. I may have asked around.” He clears his throat and suddenly points up. “That is the constellation of the Lady. It was one of the first I learned to recognize many years ago.”

For a while, neither of them say anything else; however, Jaina notices that as the night stretches on, Ulfric’s hand steadily gets closer to hers until it brushes against her own fingers. It is the barest whisper of a touch, but it is a touch nonetheless. And despite the fact that it is not exactly inappropriate in nature, her skin against his own calloused hands sets her alight, causing her to shiver.

“Are you cold, Jaina?” Ulfric leans over to whisper in her ear. “Perhaps we should turn in for the night. It is late.” 

She looks at him, mouth opened, yet no sound coming out. If only she could force the words out. However, Ulfric shakes his head at her.

“I had a very nice evening.” Boldly, he tucks a piece of hair behind her slightly-pointed ears. “I would very much like to do this again with you.”

Their eyes lock for a moment, and although Ulfric has stated that they should retire for the night, she doesn’t move. She is too entranced by the shifting emotions in the Jarl’s stormy blue eyes. It is as if he warring with himself and holding himself back from something, but then slowly, she sees him move closer to her—feels the stubble of his beard brush against her skin—and then finally, his lips press against her cheek.

“Happy birthday, Jaina.”

[bisexualbumblebee-writes]

Alone- Hannigram x OC

Hannibal Lecter x Celine Lennox x Will Graham

Description: Celine is left alone by her boyfriends for the fourth night in a row, and she begins to have her doubts about their relationship.

Word Count: 2k

Things had been going so well that day. That morning Hannibal, Will and Celine made plans for the evening to have dinner and spend time with each other since the men had been busy the past few days. Celine could not be more excited. She cleaned the entire downstairs area and baked a carrot cake, making sure to add extra icing because she knew Will loved it. After that she took a long shower then got dressed in her prettiest dinner dress and waited for her boyfriends to return home. At 7:45, it took all she had to not worry. People lose track of time sometimes, there was nothing wrong with that. Her hopes diminished when she got a text from Will at 8:05.

Will: Hey, sorry we may not be home tonight. We just got a break in the case and Jack wants us on the scene. Love you ♡

Tears blurred her vision the more she re-read the text. This was the fourth night that they either weren’t going to be home or they were home by the time she had already gone to bed. She didn’t want to make him feel bad, so she responded as usual.

Alright, good luck my darling. I love you too

Her head lowered just a bit after she sent the text and she set the phone down on the dining room table. It felt like all her work had been for nothing, and to be honest, it was. She should have known though, Jack had called them in earlier than usual. It didn’t make her feel any better though. Feeling dejected, she blew out the candles that she previously lit then just ate some leftovers from the night before. After cleaning up the kitchen, she headed upstairs and began changing into her pajamas. She refused to look at herself until all her makeup was off, knowing that her tears had streaked her makeup. She went to bed much earlier than usual, just wanting the night to be over with.

Hannibal and Will walked through the door at exactly midnight. The latter held a large bouquet, having made Hannibal stop at a store near their house so he could get one. Both of them felt bad about having to work so late, and they wanted to make it up to her. Their shoulders slumped when they noticed all the lights were already off. Hannibal walked into the kitchen, immediately noticing the cake on display. After surveying it for a moment, he realized that there was a note in front of it, and he picked it up. Will walked over and read the note from over his boyfriend’s shoulder.

For all your hard work this past month, enjoy

- Celine ♡

The men frowned as Hannibal set the note back down. Will’s shoulders slumped as he set the flowers on the counter and he sighed.

“That looks like paper from her diary,” he mentioned softly. They had learned very early into their relationship that Celine only ever wrote in her diary when she was truly upset. It was the only way that she could get her feelings out without resorting to physical violence.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Hannibal sighed softly, lowering his head a bit. “Let’s go see if she’s awake.” Will nodded then followed him upstairs to the master bedroom. Both men sighed internally when they saw Celine curled up in bed, fast asleep. The lamp was still on, as usual. She usually kept it on so the boys could have light while they got ready for bed. Neither of them could help but grin at her, they always thought she looked so cute when she slept. Will was the first to notice that her diary was laying on the nightstand beside her rather than in its usual place of her wardrobe, confirming his theory. He shared a look with Hannibal before they made their way over to the bed.

The diary was laying open and face down on the nightstand with her favorite pen beside it. She had been writing in it before she fell asleep. Will hesitantly reached for it, looking at his boyfriend for confirmation. Hannibal glanced at their girlfriend thoughtfully, taking note that there were tear streaks running down her cheeks. She’d been crying.

Though Celine was usually an open book with them, she had a hard time answering when something involving them was bothering her. She wouldn’t give them an answer if they asked her what was wrong, so he finally nodded. Once Hannibal nodded in approval, Will took the diary then went in the hallway to read it aloud. The first entry on the page was dated on Tuesday, four days ago.

Hannibal and Will have to work late tonight, so I guess I have the house to myself. Normally I like to be alone, but now that I’m living here, it feels cold and daunting. It feels like I don’t belong. Such a big house with one small person in it.

The next entry was from Wednesday, three days ago.

I got a call from Hannibal that he was helping Will solve a case so they’d be home late again. Looks like another night in the empty house for me.

Next one was from yesterday.

I get that Will and Hannibal have to work late sometimes, but three nights in a row? It almost feels like they’re making excuses so they don’t have to see me, but I know they’re not. They’re both good people (ignoring the murder, cannibalism and unstable mentality haha) and if they were to grow bored of me, they’d either break up with me or kill me. Right?

The last one was from today. Just a few hours ago by the look of the freshly dried ink.

Maybe they really don’t like me anymore. Will texted me saying that they were working late again, I’m just tired at this point. I haven’t felt this alone since before I met Hannibal and Will. I hate this feeling, and I hate that I’m feeling it right now. I wish that I was smart in their senses, maybe I’d actually get a chance to spend time with them. I just want to go to sleep and get the night over with. Maybe things will be different tomorrow.

Will nearly dropped the diary once he finished reading it. A pang of guilt hit them at the same time and they couldn’t help but glance at the girl, who was still peacefully asleep and blissfully unaware of their stares.

“I didn’t know it had gotten that bad,” Hannibal muttered, sounding regretful.

“Neither of us did,” Will shook his head. “We haven’t been home or awake long enough to see that she was upset.”

“Well, we can always make it up to her,” his boyfriend pointed out. Will glanced at him, brows furrowed with curiosity.

“How?” Hannibal grinned his adorable, mischievous grin.

“I have a few ideas.”

Celine woke up the next morning to an empty bed. She wasn’t surprised, but she was still disappointed after the night before. That is, until a smell hit her nose. It was a savory smell, one that made her mouth water. She stood slowly then grabbed her silk robe and put it on as she walked to the door. Just as she opened it though, she was surprised to see Will standing there looking as if he was ready to walk in.

“Oh, you're awake,” he said, pleasantly surprised.

“You’re home,” she shot back in the same tone. Will chuckled softly then wrapped his arms around her. Celine leaned into his embrace as a small smile slipped onto her face. She didn’t have the heart to ever stay mad at either of them for long.

“I am. I was just coming to wake you up for breakfast, Hannibal made that Lithuanian breakfast that you love so much.” Celine was confused at his words. They only had that breakfast when they were celebrating something for her.

“What’s the occasion?” She questioned as her boyfriend led her down the long staircase.

“There is none,” the man responded simply as they entered the dining room. Hannibal was already sitting at the head of the table with an assortment of Lithuanian breakfast foods set out for the three of them. When they got closer, he stood and pulled out her chair for her. Celine stared between them suspiciously as she took a seat, but thanked him nonetheless.

“Breakfast is served,” the older man informed them. They filled their plates and began eating. As they did so, WIll and Hannibal actively engaged her in conversation, and the words ‘murder’ and ‘case’ weren’t mentioned once. Finally, in the middle of eating, Celin set her fork down and looked at them.

“Boys, what is going on?” She questioned, trying not to become frustrated at the lack of context for the sudden pampering. Her hands went to her lap as she watched them exchange a look, seemingly having a wordless conversation. Eventually Hannibal sighed and rested his clasped hands on the table.

“We read your diary last night,” he finally admitted, which took her by surprise. Usually they never invaded her privacy like this. Granted, she usually had nothing to hide, but this time she did. Maybe that’s what made her upset.

“Why would you do that?” She questioned. “You didn’t even ask me first.”

“We know,” Will sighed, looking ashamed. “But we were worried when we saw it on the nightstand, so we wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“And apparently it wasn’t,” Hannibal continued, turning his attention back to the girl. “Though, it became evident when we read it. You’ve been feeling neglected by us. Before you say anything, we know that solving cases is important, but you always come first. Always. We were so busy trying to solve the case that we seemed to have forgotten that. We want to make it up to you and let you know how much you truly mean to us.” Celine’s gaze softened at their explanation and she looked down, though she didn’t say anything.

“Celine,” he continued, reaching over to take her hand. “You are not a burden to me, to either of us. You are our lover and we need to treat you as such. This isn’t an acceptable apology, but we would like to start earning your forgiveness.”

“There’s nothing to earn, Hann,” she responded without hesitation, looking at him once more. “I know that work can fog your mind. It happens to everyone”

“It shouldn’t fog it enough that we practically forget you’re there,” Will shot back. “Most people know their limits, and we’ve finally learned ours. Now, we want to at least attempt to compensate for it. Please, just let us make this up to you.” Celine sighed yet again, and after a moment of consideration, she nodded.

“Fine, but only for today,” she responded. “I don’t want this to be a prolonged thing when I’ve already forgiven you two. She left no room for objection, but Hannibal didn’t seem to mind it though because he grinned.

“Well thank goodness, because I had an entire day planned out for the three of us. It would be a waste to have to cancel it all,” he half joked. Both men were happy when that got a laugh out of her.

“I guess that I should go get dressed then, huh?” She questioned, looking between them.

“I guess so,” Will responded with a nod, a small smile gracing his face.

“After breakfast,” Hannibal added. She nodded and picked up her fork once more. They finished the delicious meal relatively quickly and Celine stood, placing a quick kiss on both of their cheeks before running upstairs giddily with the guys watching her amusedly.

“This was a good idea,” Will stated matter-of-factly. Hannibal nodded, not taking his eyes off the stairs that his lover had just gone up.

“I agree.”

[its-reddie123]

Gods cross

Chapter 3 (last chapter)

AN- this is based heavily on the film 'the miseducation of Cameron post' and wrote this ages ago before seeing the whole film, it is a bit heavy but doesnt actually go super into anything, figured i may as well upload the rest even though its been years lol, see chapter 2 here:

Content warnings: lots of potential triggers such as homophobic language and actions and references to self harm and suicide and torture and institutional abuse

The next day at breakfast, Richie just sat down together with his food when suddenly what appeared to be some red headed boy ran up to Richie hugging him tightly but after smelling the familiar smell of strawberries and cigarettes Richie realised Beverly was in his arms.

“Bev oh my god, are you alright, what did they do to you?” Richie said still holding her tightly his saw Eddie was watching Bev with a worried look in his eyes

“I can’t... n..not now, sorry” she said in shaky breathes and Richie could feel her hands shaking on his body.

“How’s Stan? Did you see him?” Richie ask pulling away to look at the broken expression on her face

“He’s still in there, I think...I think they found more scars on his arms, I never saw him but I heard his screams” that broke her down again.

“They got Eddie” he whispered not knowing she would react, he almost hoped she hadn’t heard at all, but she did

“I know”

“You know?”

“Yeah I saw him being dragged in and I know you two were becoming a thing I’m not blind for Christ’s sake” she said chuckling

“He told me he was sorry for leaving you alone” Richie said getting up she followed as they made their way down a corridor.

“I know he told me” bev said smiling at Richie

“He did when?”

“Before my fight with Greta, he told me he was still keeping his head down though, apparently not” she said raising her eyebrows

“Sports shed?” Richie asked

“Sports shed” Beverly agreed smiling

The rest of the evening was filled with Richie filling in Beverly on all the gossip about him and Eddie while the two laughed and made their way through a whole pack Marlboros. Their own kind of normal.

*

They had gone back up to their dorms before lights out so they wouldn’t be caught. It was getting on for midnight and Richie was about half asleep when a he felt someone shake his arm lightly. He looked up to see Stan he wasn’t crying but his eyes were very red

“When did you get back?” Richie whispered putting on his glasses

“Just now the matron let me in” Stan said fiddling with his hands Richie sat up a little while Stan sat on the side of his bed his hands in his lap

“You okay? can I do anything?” Richie asked worried, he knew how unstable Stan could be normally

“I don’t trust myself to not... to not...you know, can I sleep in your bed tonight is that weird?” Stan whispered getting quieter and quieter as he did

“ no it’s fine I understand you don’t wanna be alone right?”

“Yeah I know your with Eddie and everything so I wouldn’t have to touch you anything if you don’t want...”

“Shut up Staniel get in here” Richie whispered grinning to himself, Stan followed as instructed and as he lay down Richie gently placed one arm around him holding him tight to his chest he then felt the tension in Stan’s body eventually ebb away as he fell asleep in Richie’s arms.

“We need to talk” it had been two more weeks no Eddie, Richie had tried to find a way to save him but he was locked up behind about three steel doors and several guards. Rich was currently sat opposite a councillor after being dragged there without reason

“About what?” Richie looked up at the skinny woman with sunken eyes

“I don’t think your actually improving, Richard” she said straightening out a stack of papers

“What?” He wasnt expecting that “I am!”

“Over the three months you have spent with us I have picked up on under hand comments, sitting with... the wrong people and frankly it appears you are just telling us what we want to hear”

“That’s not true I am better, much better I’m not attracted to the same gender anymore I promise”

“Unfortunately I just don’t believe that Richard, it appears my judgement of non- invasive treatment was wrongly prescribed, you will placed in the intensive treatment centre indefinitely”

“Fucking bullshit” Richie whispered under his breath.

The woman stood up “please follow me, unco-operation will be met with force”

Richie stood in that moment he blocked out his thoughts his feelings all to the back of his head and just became a robot following the woman down stairs and corridors until they were at least three floors under ground. He knew in the end it would lead him to Eddie so he blocked his urges to run the other way because he needed to save him.

He walked past some rows of cells mostly boys were in them curled in corners some sobbing, Rich turned his left and right as they went desperately searching for Eddie

“Richie!?” From the left Richie saw the smaller boy run across gripping the bars on the small window of his door that contained him.

“It’s going to be okay I promise!” Richie shouted back as he was forcefully pushed into his own cell diagonally across from Eddie.

“What’s it gunna take to get out of here?” Richie asked a woman who passed through some food that evening, she gave him a glare and walked away

“Shit” he slumped sliding down the wall

*

*CLICK* Eddies door opened swinging open on the hinges making him wake from a uncomfortable sleep with a start.

“What’s going on?” He said rubbing the sleep from his eyes

“Your scheduled for a shower” a small skinny woman said pocketing a bundle of keys

“Right” Eddie said slipping out of his old rattling bed

He had made a point of easily complying with everything that was asked of him down here so as to gain the trust of those running the stuff down here so they had never been that handsy or forceful with him.

They began to walk down the corridor Eddie in front of the woman

“Sorry about this” Eddie said gritting his teeth and whacking his elbow right back into the woman’s face, she stumbled back falling against the wall clutching a bleeding nose.

“HELP!” The woman shouted, he quickly grabbed the keys from her pocket and sprinted to Richie’s cell.

“Richie...Richie get up we’re going!” Eddie shouted to a still sleeping Richie while he fumbled with the keys

“Huh, what? Eddie what’s going on?” Richie jumped up to the bars watching as Eddie successfully unlocked the doors swinging it open. Richie lent down to peck Eddie on the lips,

“Not now we gotta run” Eddie said his cheeks blushing pink

“Hey what’s going on here?”a man said about ten feet away “get back in your cells this instant you worthless...” he was cut short as Richie fist punched right into his face, the guy who was actually quite beefy in character turned pulling a much stronger punch on Richie knocking him down and then

he began kicking him “HEY LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!” Eddie screeched whacking him round the face with an old bucket

“Right now we gotta go” Eddie said helping up a battered Richie

“Okay cherry pie” he said wiping a trickle of blood from below his mouth “wait what about everyone else? Hey who wants out?!” Richie shouted it was met with silence

“They don’t want to be who they are Rich, come on let’s go” Eddie said pulling on his sleeve

“Okay you know a way where we won’t be seen?”

“Yeah follow me” he dodged round a corner up stairs then more stairs gripping tightly onto Richie’s hand. luckily it was early and no one else was up in the main building, they ran through some doors, the crisp cold morning air hitting them as the ran on further round more corners

They finally made it to the sports shed with a loud slam they opened the door

“WHAT THE F... Richie? Eddie?” Stan jumped flying to the corner of the small shed

“Richie what happened to your hand? Are you guys okay?” Beverly asked with a worried look

“What do you think, we just fucking broke out the conversion therapy dungeon” Richie said now slumping down against the door frame, his breathing was growing faster even though they had stopped running and he pulled his knees up to his chest and dropped his head as a panic attack began to wash over him

“Richie? Hey hey” Eddie dropped down beside him putting an arm round his back

“It’s gunna be okay we are gunna get out of here”

“What’s the plan?” Asked Stan, now settling back to a sitting position

“Get the hell out of here, finally” Eddie said

“You guys in?” Eddie asked flashing a quick glance to Richie

“Yes” said Stan looking down to his hands

“Yeah it’s about time” Beverly said jumping up and grabbing several things from her secret hiding place and some bolt cutter from behind an old bundle of hockey sticks.

“Right now?” Asked Stan eyes worried

“Yeah we won’t get caught it’s dead out rthere” Richie reassured his breathing calming slightly

“Where are we going to go?”

“We’ll figure that out later” Eddie said as they headed back toward the metal chain fence to which Beverly began picking away at.

*

“You hit him with a bucket” Richie chuckled “where did you get a bucket?!”

“I don’t know it was just there” Eddie shrugged, smiling up at Richie and taking his hand in his interlocking their fingers.

“Hey guys come see this!!!” Beverly shouted down from up a hill. They had been walking through the forest for several hours, and despite everyones feet were beginning to ache and blister no one said a word but they all needed a rest.

“What is it?” Rich asked as they approached

“A diner, I say we go, I need to call someone they could help us” Stan said in a hushed voice

“Let’s do it” Eddie agreed

*

“Hello welcome to Daisy’s diner my names Ben, What can I get you guys?” The young waiter asked. Three looked at each other and all collectively emptied their pockets realising their lack of money, though they managed to collect a small pile of coins on the slightly sticky table top.

“What can we get for one dollar fifty cent Haystack?” Richie said looking up through his creoles glasses

Ben wrinkled his eyebrows and smiled at the nick name

“Um I guess a small fries, but I will chuck in some free chocolate shakes you guys look like you’ve had a rough day”

“We have, thank you” Beverly said smiling up at the sandy haired boy

“No problem, I will get all that right to you guys” Ben said smiling back at Beverly before heading back to the counter.

“I like him he’s cute!” Beverly said staring after him

“Go get him bev” Eddie said using a napkin to dab some blood of Richie knuckles

“Give me time” Beverly said still starring in his direction

“He’s been out there a while, you think he’s okay?” Richie asked to no one in particular, looking outside to Stan who stood squidged into a telephone box.

“Yeah he will be fine I’m just glad he’s out of there, I’m glad we all are” Beverly said smiling at the two boys opposite her, that sort of sad but happy smile.

“If you don’t mind me asking how comes you guys look like a bunch of pilgrims” Ben said coming back with their order

“Well benny boy” Richie said Beverly shuffled uncomfortably in her booth “we just escaped from a homophobic and frankly over enthusiastic conversion Christian camp, if you would believe me”

“Wait they still do those?” Ben said shock covering his cheerful face

“Yeah” Bev said touching her head

“Shit, hey can I sit I’m on break now” Ben said looking at his watch

“Sure” Eddie said and Richie nodded while Beverly moved up to the end of bench

“So who put you in there in the first place?” Ben asked eyeing the three

“Our parents” Said Eddie as his sipped a chocolate milkshake, with Richie’s arms was slung round the back of the seat holding onto Eddies shoulder while Richie used his other hand to eat some fries.

“Jesus I didn’t even realise there was one near by, what are you going to do now?” Ben looked over to Beverly who smiled at him

“Well Stan’s calling someone but I think from what he said they live very far away so we might need somewhere to stay tonight, do you know anywhere” as she turned around to point out the window she realised he had disappeared from the phone box. “Shit, Stans gone, guys he’s gone”

“Bev, he’s right there” Eddie said putting a hand on her forearm

“Oh shit sorry” she said

“No worries” Ben said giving her a smile

“What’s up Stan the man?” Richie said moving a seat round for stand

“Shut u..up Richie” his face was red stained with tears but smiling

“Everything alright Stan?” Eddie asked

“Yeah I’m good I’m actually really happy these are just happy tears, I was calling this guy bill, he’s gunna come pick us up luckily he’s got the minivan and is in the area should be here in an hour tops”

“Awesome Ben here was about to tell of us somewhere we may be able to stay?” Beverly said raising her eyebrows at the boy

“Yeah I do have somewhere actually, this friend of mine has got a farm not far from here if I call him he shouldn’t mind you sleeping a couple nights in the barn”

“Sounds good to me”

Couple hours later-

*beep beep* “he’s here!”

“What? Err bout time” said richie as he woke up from sleeping with his head on their diner table, they had only the clothes on their backs and no coats so Ben had got them a blanket from out back for Eddie and Richie and his coat for Beverly and Stan.

“Thank you so much Ben” Beverly said returning the coat

“No it’s okay keep it for now I’m coming along after my shift has finished anyways, I will pick it up from you then”

“Okay thanks” bev smiled

Stan ran outside tears streaming down his face as he embraced his friend who got out the minivan,

“You okay Ed’s?” Richie said as he stood watching as Eddie looked through the window at Stan and the other boy

“Yeah” he interlocked his fingers with Richie’s and walked with him and Beverly outside

[1001albumsrated]

#19: Ella Fitzgerald w/ arrangements by Nelson Riddle - Ella Fitzgerald Sings the George & Ira Gershwin Song Book (1958)

Genre(s): Jazz Vocals, Pop, Showtunes

There are a couple elephants in the room here, so let's just lay them out.

1: Ella Fitzgerald is one of the greatest vocalists of all time, no questions asked.

2: The Gershwin brothers are responsible for damn near every classic showtune of the era, many of which became pop and jazz standards, but they sure are the showtune-iest showtunes (they really wrote the book on composing for Broadway).

3: Nelson Riddle is the king of schmaltz, again, no questions asked.

4: A 3.5 hour box set of songs from different musicals is not a fucking album. I'm sorry, but it just isn't.

Those facts leave me conflicted. But let's add some opinions:

1: I hate musicals, any by extension showtunes. Take away my queer license, I don't care. Not a musicals guy, never have been, never will be, no not Hamilton or Rocky Horror or Repo or any other "offbeat" musical. I just don't like 'em. I enjoy a good play, just don't start singing in the middle of it and we're gucci.

2: Nelson Riddle is one of my least favorite arrangers, and this project has made me listen to more of his work in a short period of time than I've ever wanted to. If I hear another sentimental string crescendo I'm going to shit.

3: I love Ella Fitzgerald. Just a spectacular vocalist. Like I've said before, I don't listen to a lot of vocal jazz. But if I have to I'm always happy to hear her.

This all puts me in a strange place. I actually left the "yes/no" cell on my nerdy 1001 Albums spreadsheet blank for about a week while I percolated on this one. The influence of the Gershwins is undeniable, and I think Ella sings what I'd consider to be the definitive versions of these songs (at least while staying true to their original forms; there are plenty of jazzier instrumental versions of the standards here that I'd much rather hear). As previously stated, not a fan of the Riddler, but I think his style is authentic to the spirit of the original compositions so I can't be too mad at the choice to work with him.

On the other hand, what an absolute slog of a listen. I had to break this up over two sessions, both for logistical reasons and because 3.5 hours of this is just too fucking much. I don't feel like this qualifies as an album, not just because of length, but on account of the content. Don't get me wrong, there are some incredibly long albums I love (for example: the atmospheric black metal epic Shards of Silver Fade by Midnight Odyssey clocks in at almost 2.5 hours, and Matmos' 99 artist collaborative experimental electronic epic The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form clocks in right under 3 hours, or even Anthony Braxton's mind-obliterating 4 hour free jazz epic Quartet (New Haven) 2014), but I think the difference is that those are intended to be single, coherent experiences. This is, to me, more of a traditional box set compilation than an album. Even though these are new recordings recorded at the same sessions, I don't feel like I'm supposed to be listening all the way through. I was feeling positive but also like I'd had enough after 1 disc, and the next 3 really did me in. This, to me, is diedard material, much in the same vein as the various Miles Davis complete sessions box sets. I wouldn't tell someone "oh, my favorite Miles record is The Complete Jack Johnson Sessions", it's just asinine. I love it, but it's still not an album.

I've meandered here, so let's get to the point. Is Ella Fitzgerald Sings the George & Ira Gershwin Song Book an album you MUST hear before you die? I don't think it's an album, and even if you want to say it is, I don't think it stands on its own two legs enough to say anything but No to that question. I love Ella, and I think she has recorded plenty of great albums we could pick here, but I really don't see the need to listen to this unless you're a diehard Ella fan, a diehard theater kid (grown or otherwise), or a diehard jazz fan who wants to hear the best original versions of these classic tunes. I hate to say that, because I tend to take a historic lens to these sorts of things and I don't think you can understate the historical significance of these songs, but this just doesn't make the cut for me. It is, however, where I suspect many listeners' 1001 Albums journeys met their untimely demise. Great album art though, they nailed that.

For the nerds: I listened to this in hi-res on Qobuz. The track order there seems to vary from some of the other lists I've seen. Of note is that it puts the Ella-less instrumental cuts at the end where they belong instead of the beginning (or even better, maybe they could have stayed on the cutting room floor).

Next up: The Genius of Ray Charles by, you guessed it, Ray Charles!

[writingmaidenwarrior]

okay, so mayhaps I missed STS again, and Sunday is maybe...fluff...Sunday? so, tell me about a fluffy moment in your wip!

Well, technically it is already Monday over here since it's past midnight ^^

I see what I can see about the fluffy for your @ashen-crest

*takes a big sip from my red wine*

May I offer you what I wrote for the newest plot bunny about a world where reincarnation exist and learning about your past you is mandatory? This is maybe even a little sexy because the one whose POV this is from is a lil bit emotional and tensed as fuck right now. It will make sense in a minute.

The clerk lead them down a long hallway bathed in more soft purple light. At the end of it was a room that lead to many doors. “Please enter one of the cabins, each and alone. You will find clothes to change into. Once you changed, please wait till one of my colleagues get you for the procedure.” All of them nodded thanks and the clerk left in a hurry. Amren looked over his shoulder to see if he was gone for good before he turned to Màiren with a frown. “Changing clothes? Why do we need to do this?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Did any of you two actually listen to the lecture back then, or were both of you too busy mentally salivating over me?” Amren threw a questioning glance at Keir who just shrugged and put an apologetic smile on. “You can’t blame us. You are a wonderful, smart, warm-hearted…” “… good looking, busty, innocent looking woman who got you two too horny to remember the basics, apparently.” With her hands on her curvaceous hips and the angry blush on her light skin, Keir wanted to shower her with kisses, but this was the wrong moment. Instead, he pulled her into a hug and rested his head on her shoulder. “Charming idiot.” “What happened to lovely?” “Don’t want to encourage you right now.” Her tone was playful but tensed, and he could sense the tension in her whole body through the hug. Keir placed a soft kiss on her temple. “Please, enlighten us. We will listen this time.” “You better do”, she warned but sighed right after. Màiren’s glance went to the doors and back to Amren and Keir. “We have to change into special clothes that have some stuff woven into the fabric that make it easier for the whole process to take place. After this, we get guided into the mist of souls, and yes, it is an actual mist or more a huge waterfall like thing, while we are connected through wires to a machine that overlooks our vital signs and more. How long it will take depends on us and how fast our minds can be cleared, so the state of emptiness is reached, and the mist can do its job. After this, it will take up somewhere between twelve and twenty-four hours till we remember the first things.” Amren’s skeptical glance didn’t get lost on both. “What are you thinking about, honey?” “I am still worrying about all three of us going at the same time, love”, Amren finally admitted what was on his mind. Keir knew there was something since the invitations came in, but Amren never voiced them until now. “It is not common, that is true”, Màiren confirmed thoughtful, “On the other side, it happens a lot recently. Maybe they found a way to make it safer?” “Let’s hope, it is really just this.” With this, Amren reached out for Keir and Màiren and pulled them into a hug in a rare moment of showing his emotions so clearly. Instinctively, Keir wrapped his arm around him and breathed in his scent of lemon balm and white musk. “Remember, my loves, no matter what the mist shows, the love of this life is real. No matter who we were in the past life, it won’t taint our love in this life. I won’t let this happen.” “Neither won’t I, honey”, Keir confirmed, his voice thick with emotions. “You can bet your sorry asses on this”, Màiren snickered. After one more tight hug and some kisses, they parted into the cabins to change for the life ahead of them. A life guided by the life the lived in their previous life and society expected them to continue in someone. Keir snorted as he put his clothes aside over this thought. He never got why his past life should determine his future when he already carved out a path for himself here and now.

Yes, I am slightly drunk right now but I love these idiots already because Amren knows he has some short-comings in the emotional department, Keir is a drama queen and Màiren the single brain cell in many moments and the one who knows how to keep Keir sane

[speenach]

life update: wellbutrin (aka bupropion) will lower your seizure threshold, all right!

🎶 'cause karma is my boyfriend! karma is a god, karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend karma's a relaxing thought ...

What is karma?

according to ideapod.com, "Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning 'action.' It refers to a cycle of cause-and-effect that is an important concept in many Eastern Religions, particularly Hinduism and Buddhism. ... it means that the steps of your life, your spiritual development, and your personality are directly molded by your thoughts and actions. Present you affects future you." i hope i'm not too far off, but this lil article does remind me of the way that i think my friend with the relevant knowledge explained it to me sometime in the past decade. unsurprisingly, the song "Karma" might simplify this a little; but even if it doesn't really, 100% accurately represent what karma is, spiritually, it's my favorite Taylor Swift song of the moment. arguably the best on Midnights.

spider boy, king of thieves weave your little webs of opacity my panties* made your crown. trick me once, trick me twice don't you know that cash ain't the only price? it's coming back, around.

*it's actually "pennies," but -- excuse me? 👑 listen to this song and try to tell me you don't hear "panties." or just try to tell me it doesn't make the better lyric. try to tell me that it doesn't fit Taylor's chest voice. try to ignore the harmonies in, "i keep my side of the street clee-ean. you wouldn't know what i mean." tell me this isn't one of the best songs to cat-walk in the airport to. try to keep it out of my karaoke-ing mouth this summer. i dare you.

speaking of airports and causes and effects and summer -- eek! i was supposed to visit Ireland and the UK this past week (only Northern Ireland is part of the UK, fun fact!?). my boyfriend (my actual one, Ben, not the concept) was taking me overseas for his college roommate's wedding. it was going to be very cute! and maybe even nudged me to think more seriously about marriage -- an institution i've resisted since growing up with its politicization, a thing that could maybe actually be practical if i wasn't so worried about the aesthetics of my own fucking personal life being twisted into talking points for the right. fuck them, fuck JK Rowling, fuck bisexual erasure, fuck transphobia, fuck off.

if this sounds disorganized, it's because it is! it's because i want to convey something about the state that my brain apparently reached for me to have my first seizure on thurs, may 11, DURING A LAYOVER IN VIRGINIA, HOORAY!

sorry, the rest of this post might be upsetting for various reasons. content warning for:

expanding on aforementioned seizure & another the next day

psychosis

medical bills from the ER(s) lol

babbling — this isn't really a warning as much as it is a qualification: since i do have some (small) degree of control over who can find me on instagram, and this is likely too long to go viral organically — if you're reading this, it’s prob because i posted it or sent it to you, or it was shared by someone whom i trust with the decision to share. something happened to me last week, and, if this tumblr blog is going to be what i wanted it to be when i wrote my inaugural post in january, it's the place for me to explain what happened from my perspective. i want the people in my life to know. i also, just, can't imagine calling people up just to be like... "hey i had a medical emergency but i'm okay." idk, i want to have my whole-ass say on it. you gotta read the taylor swift lyrics first.

all right, so, right before we left for the airport, i had a meeting with my dissertation advisor about the chapter i've been struggling with for the whole school year. i was so anxious i hadn't slept the night before, even after staying up all of monday night, too, revising the most recent draft. i also smoke a lot of weed, but it couldn't help me sleep this time. instead -- and i say this with some degree of expertise/professionalism -- i must have had something like a psychotic break. i had sent my advisor about twice as many pages as he was expecting, and i literally could not believe it when he told me that what he'd read so far sounded good. i told him i felt like a delusion of grandeur was coming true. and, after that, there was a moment where i literally thought he was reading my mind or speaking to me in code or something. it was weird. i was weird.

for the rest of my waking hours, until my first seizure, i thought i'd unlocked some secret of the universe. overwhelmed by the body language of hundreds of traveling strangers around us, i seriously thought i could read people's minds, too, or at least Ben's. normal airport stuff happened, our flight kept getting pushed back, waiting was miserable; in addition to convincing myself i was reading Ben's mind, i concluded that the only logical explanation for everything was that the internet must be down, like, universally, and/or everyone's collective consciousness was going through something like Opposite Day. ... again, i was weird. but, at this point, it seemed like i just badly needed some sleep. i also kept randomly singing the chorus to “anti-hero.”

sweet like honey, karma is a cat purring in my lap, 'cause it loves me

our flight got pushed back so late that our airline put us up in a "quality inn" for thursday night. my grand mal happened during the lyft ride there, which royally freaked out our driver and pushed Ben over a mental cliff from "my girlfriend's acting weird" to "my girlfriend might die." after sleeping through a $4000 ER visit that i don't remember, that my family and i have to figure out how to pay $2000 for lol, i passed all the psych tests to be discharged. we had a short connecting flight just for me to have the same delusions and another seizure during our layover in new jersey, right around the time our Ireland flight was finally canceled. don't ask me how much the second ER visit was because i don't know yet! friday night, i slept in a hospital bed in a hallway, before i remember getting some scrubs and an actual room for the rest of the weekend. no pillow, though -- just two sheets. i was pretty confused and upset after the first couple times i woke up there and still couldn't pass the psych checks until sunday. but obviously i eventually did, Ben came to get me, and we finally flew home monday.

it's actually kind of funny. it's okay, my home doctor laughed at me, too, when i saw her on wednesday; i am a clinical vignette. like, classic psych case. girl with depression and anxiety misses too much sleep, smokes too much weed, has seizure risk factors, and seizes. (i also wasn’t eating enough, surprise). among other things, i'm on prozac and wellbutrin but am better about the latter, because i associate the former with heartburn, and i get the impression that i can actually feel when the latter works. doc and i decided to halve my wellbutrin dose, at least until i see my therapist and psychiatrist on tuesday, and i'm on a THC/tolerance break. i'm tired from over/writing this, but that's what happened!

karma is the thunder rattling your ground karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town. sweet like justice, karma is a queen...

[mayhem24-7forever]

Time Is Running Out - Part One

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Mitchell!Reader Oneshot

~ Part Two ~

Maverick’s daughter is hiding a pretty big secret from her dad and her friends, hopefully Jake won’t blow it all...

Author’s Notes: Ok so first of all, I don’t want minors reading any of my fics, even if they are SFW so this one is especially off limits! I deserve a safe place to express myself so please respect my boundaries. Yeah the ‘L word’ joke is from Scott Pilgrim Versus the World but I didn't remember/realize that until after I wrote it and I think it’s cute as fuck so we’ll pretend its a reference or a homage like the joke in The Quarry. My apologies Edgar Wright, apparently we share a brain cell for dialogue writing/joke making. This was originally going to be a Bob fic but I wrote it so out of character for him that it was actually in character for Jake and decided to switch it over. A large portion of this is just me naming banger 80’s songs, making really random references to other projects that the top gun actors have been in and definitely ripping off the rooftop dance scene from Set It Up so I’m sorry. Huge thank yous to @a-reader-and-a-writer​ for originally beta reading this and pointing out that it would be better as a Jake fic than a Bob fic and to @maggiescarborough​ for beta reading as well. Dividers by @jbarneswilson​.

Content Warnings: secret dating, fluff, NSFWish, smutish, really suggestive content, super light fingering/oral/teasing, super light breast and ass fondling, public sex, almost caught, low key forbidden romance-ish, alcohol, kissing/making out/hickeys, that super relatable feel when you’re trying to act normal in front of your best friend but your boyfriend has his head under your skirt, lowkey public sex/exhibitionism, mentions of the military, overprotective fathers/boyfriends/best friends, mentioning murder/robbery/criminals, talk about locking doors/walking someone out to a car as a safety precaution/pepper spray (aka the reality of being a young woman alone at night), adult language/cursing

“Last call! I ain’t waiting here until the sun rises so pack it up!” Y/N Mitchell called from behind the bar to the last group of customers all gathered around the pool table.

It was exceptionally late at night—or very early in the morning depending on your perspective—and the only people left in The Hard Deck were Y/N and the Top Gun team, who were engaged in a very heated game of ‘cutthroat pool’. As Hangman, Rooster, Phoenix, Coyote, and Payback played, Bob and Fanboy sat to the side and talked about a new weapons system they had to learn. Y/N had been left to run the bar on her own as Jimmy had gotten off work early in the afternoon to take his grandchildren to see a movie and her father, Maverick, had taken Penny home around midnight. Overall, the night had gone quite well. But 2 A.M. was the bar’s official closing time so it was time for them to go.

“Well, I’m gonna head out! Got a booty call from a hottie to get to!” Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin announced, standing up and heading towards the door. “Good night and thanks for the beers, Y/N!”

“Have fun with your booty call!” She called after him with a smirk. “Wrap it before you tap it!”

He walked out the door, Y/N and Jake sharing a secret grin with one another at their private joke before he left. They had been dating for almost a month but no one else knew, not even Penny. If her dad found out that she was dating a member of the team, the couple would be in pretty hot water as he was incredibly protective of his only child. So they had decided to keep their blossoming romance a secret from the world. Hence, Hangman’s nightly announcements that he had a different girl to go fuck to throw the team off their trail.

“Good night!” Payback, Coyote, and Fanboy each called out as they headed out the front door and she waved.

“Need me to stay while you close and walk you out to your car?” Rooster asked.

“Did my dad put you up to this?” She asked and he laughed.

“No, but he’d probably appreciate me keeping an eye on you.” he replied and she smiled.

“Alright teacher’s pet, sorry to rob you of making my dad happy but I’m a big girl and I can get myself home just fine.” she replied. “But I really do appreciate it. Thanks Bradley.”

“Alright fine, but if you get murdered by some psycho masked killer or something, I want you to know that your dad will make sure I am held solely responsible for your death.” Bradley joked and she rolled her eyes.

Something like that might have sounded strange or even morbid to anyone else but Y/N had known Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw for her entire life. He was her best friend since they were kids and they’d even lost their virginities to one another as an experiment before Bradley joined the navy, a fact that the team had regretfully learned about during a very, very drunk night of truth or dare. There was nothing romantic between the pair, there never had been, but it didn’t stop Jake from being a little bit jealous of his mustached wingman.

“Go home Bradley before I use my pepper spray on you instead of a crazed murderer.” she responded, shoving him playfully towards the door and shaking her head.

“Alright, good night Y/N.” Rooster said as he left, Bob and Phoenix following with their goodbyes as they exited.

She closed the door behind them before going to the side patio doors leading to the beach and closing them as well, remembering to lock them too. Her next order of business was to turn off the jukebox and plug her phone into the speaker system, selecting her closing and cleaning playlist. It was mostly comprised of 80’s hits that her dad had gotten her into and she loved to listen to them in the empty bar. The opening guitar riff of “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo played out of the bar speakers and she adjusted it to a slightly lower level that she could still hear.

She swayed to the beat and hummed the tune as she updated the bar tab books and counted out the cash register. It took a few songs to finish at the register and to put the cash in the safe in the back office but she was soon onto the next closing task of washing the mugs and glasses in the back kitchen area and taking notes for Jimmy on what needed to be restocked during his opening shift.

She was beginning to mop up a few spots of spilled beer on the floor when “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” by Deniece Williams began playing. She smiled, the song always reminded her of Jake, because he took her to see an anniversary showing of Footloose at a drive-in-theater for their first date. The song never failed to make her happy and she couldn’t stop herself from dancing around the bar, singing into the mop like a microphone as she cleaned up sticky puddles of spilled drinks.

Unbeknownst to her, Jake had come back to the bar and entered through the back kitchen door. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning on the door frame as he watched his girlfriend dance around the room. She sang along loudly to the lyrics and he smiled. Her little cleaning concerts were one of the things he loved most about her and part of the reason why he kept coming back to help her close the bar, even if it was really late and he was tired. Her energy and happiness gave him energy and made him happy.

His only complaint was that she always got so into the music that she wasn’t aware of her surroundings and often forgot to lock the back door, a bad habit that made him nervous. The other part of the reason he would come to help her close, no matter how exhausted he was, was because he worried about her and wanted to make sure she was safe. It wasn’t like Fightertown and San Diego were dens of crime or something, he just had the urge to protect her because he loved her so much, not that she knew. They hadn’t said they loved each other yet, although they both felt that way. As he watched her sing and dance as she cleaned, completely oblivious to him in the doorway, he decided to surprise her and quietly moved towards her.

“Oh maybe he’s no Romeo but he’s my lovin’ one-man show!” She sang into the mop handle, loudly and only slightly off key. “Oh whoa-oa-oa let’s hear it for the b-”

He cut her off as he wrapped his arms around her stomach and pulled her up in his arms, spinning her around with a laugh. She dropped the mop in surprise and screamed for a moment before realizing that she recognized the arms holding her and the laugh in her ear as that of her boyfriend.

“Jake!” she squealed as he put her down and she turned around in his arms to slap his chest angrily. “Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Really? Let me check your pulse.” He replied with a smirk as he put his palm on her breast and squeezed lightly. “It does feel a little fast.”

“Very funny.” she said as she rolled her eyes and tried to stay mad at him but couldn’t, cracking a smile as she pushed his hand away. “Did you come back here just to feel me up while I’m trying to close up?”

“I actually came back to spend some quality time with my girlfriend and protect her but your option is much more fun.” Jake said, reaching to grab her breasts again and she shook her head, laughing as she pushed him away.

“Protect me?” she questioned.

“Someone’s gotta do it since for some reason you refuse to lock the door when you’re here alone!” Jake said matter-of-factly as he moved to wrap his arms around her waist again.

“I forgot, okay!” she replied, setting her hands on his chest as she looked up at him and he raised his eyebrows in doubt.

“I’ve told you to lock the back door a hundred times, what if I was some crazy guy with a gun or something?” Jake asked.

“Oh my God! You sound just like my dad and Bradley!” she exclaimed with a smile.

“Because they’re right.” he replied.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked as she put a hand against his forehead as if to check his temperature. “Hangman and Rooster agreeing on something? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” He shook her hand off his head as she laughed.

“We are capable of getting along occasionally, you know.” he said with a smile before getting a little more serious. “But seriously babe, you have to start remembering to lock the back door. I worry about you, okay?”

She nodded her head and gazed into his earnest green eyes, touched by the affection and worry he held for her.

“I’m sorry babe, I really am trying to remember.” she said, putting a hand on his cheek affectionately.

“It’s alright, I’ll just have to come be your personal bodyguard and help you close every night until you remember.” Jake replied and she laughed.

“You’d get bored.” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I could never get bored of you.” he said and she smiled, pulling him into an appreciative kiss. When they pulled back, he continued. “I am sorry that I interrupted your stage performance, your mop microphone is cute and I love your singing voice. I hope you were thinking of someone special as you sung…” He trailed off with a smug grin.

“I was actually.” she answered, a sly smile creeping onto her face as she continued. “I was thinking about Bradley. ‘He’s my lovin’ one man show’, you know? I just think he’s so hot-”

He cut her off by surging forwards to give her a jealous and possessive kiss, so hard and passionate it took her by surprise for a moment before she leaned into the kiss. He kissed her like a man possessed for a few moments more and then pulled back, smirking down at her as she tried to catch her breath, confused as to why he stopped.

“You were saying something about pornstache?” he asked smugly.

“Alright fine, I was singing about you.” she said and as he began to celebrate she quickly added “But don’t let it get to your head!”

“I’ll try.” he replied.

“I didn’t think you were going to come back tonight, you’ve done it three times this week.” she said, seizing the quiet moment to let out some of her anxieties. “The team is gonna get suspicious at some point and when they find out, my dad is gonna find out.”

“No one is going to find out.” Jake assured her, stroking her cheek. “I drove  little down the highway before turning around and taking the back streets and I parked behind the dumpster. Besides, the team thinks I’m sleeping around with a different girl every night. If anyone asks me where I was, I just make up a name.”

“Finally, your reputation as a man-whore is paying off.” she laughed and Jake clutched a hand to his chest as if he was offended.

“You think I’m a whore?”  he asked with a fake gasp before laughing.

“A different girl every night? If the shoe fits…” she joked, trailing off.

“Don’t slut shame me for my cover story or I may have to battle the skank allegations by telling everyone where I’m really spending my nights.” Jake shot back and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not slut shaming, there’s nothing wrong with being a little slutty.” she said. “But ‘skank allegations’? You’re so dramatic.”

“But you love it.” Jake replied with that charming smile of his.

“I tolerate it.” she countered with a laugh. “There’s a difference.”

“I’m hurt!” he said sarcastically before turning serious for a moment. “But seriously, your dad and the team aren’t gonna find out until you’re ready to tell them, you don’t have to worry.”

She nodded and gave him a small appreciative smile but he could tell there was still something bothering her. “What is it babe?”

“You really don’t mind keeping us a secret for now? Sneaking around and telling not-so-little white lies to the team?” she asked, before biting her lip nervously.

“I really don’t mind. I think it’s kinda hot actually.” he assured her with a wink and a light slap on her ass.

She laughed but shook her head and put a hand to his cheek, gazing into his eyes seriously.

“Jake, I’m serious!” she said. “I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of us because I’m not, I’m just nervous about telling my dad that I’m dating one of his pilots. He gets so protective and I don't want it to change your relationship with him or with the team. Plus, you and Bradley are finally getting along and I don’t want it all to go to waste when he probably tries to kill you for this. We’ll tell them soon, just not now.”

He cupped his hands on her cheeks and spoke clearly, not breaking his earnest gaze for even a moment. “Babe, I swear to you that I don’t care if no one knows about us or if the whole world does. I don’t care if I have to fight Rooster or deal with your pissed off father, all I want is to make you happy.” She smiled and pulled him into a kiss before pulling back and resting her forehead on his, the tips of their noses barely touching.

“Who knew that beneath all that cocky playboy confidence there’s a really great and sweet guy that I’m really lucky to have?” she said lowly as she looked into his smiling eyes. “You, Jake Seresin, were the most unexpected surprise in my life.”

“A good surprise I hope.” he said, just an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“A really good surprise and I’m so glad for it.” she replied and he pulled back to kiss her on the forehead, holding her close in his arms as he gathered the courage he needed.

“All I ever do is try to live up to the man you deserve. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met…” he paused, taking a deep breath before adding “I know we haven’t used the ‘L word’ yet but I want you to know that I’ll do anything for you.”

“The ‘L word’? Lesbians?” she joked and his heart fluttered at her attempt to make him feel less nervous.

“Yes. Y/N Mitchell, I am deeply and hopelessly in lesbians with you.” he said playfully but she could tell he meant every single word, her heart skipping a beat.

“Then I guess it’s a really good thing that I am also deeply and hopelessly in lesbians with you, Jake Seresin.” she replied, so grateful he felt the same way as her before pulling him into a long kiss that said more than any words ever could. They hadn’t specifically used the word ‘love’ but they both knew what the other meant.  When they pulled back, she smiled as she stepped backwards and out of his arms. “Now, we’d better start cleaning unless we want to be here all night.”

“Yeah, we’d better.” Jake said with a grin, slapping her ass as he walked past her to pick up the mop and finish up the sticky spot she had been working on before he arrived and distracted her.

She began wiping down the bartop as he finished with the mop and put it away before grabbing a rag and wiping down the tables, putting the chairs up on them as he finished each one. She was sweeping when he finished and he took out the trash, returning from the back to see her trying to reach something on a high shelf by the pool table, stretched up on her tip-toes. He smiled and hurried over, easily grabbing the object from the shelf and handing it to her as she thanked him.

“Are these yours?” she asked, holding up a pair of sunglasses someone had left behind.

“Nope.” Jake replied. “I left mine in my car.”

“Damn. I’ll have to put them in the lost and found box, I don’t know who they belong to because everyone wears sunglasses and they all look the same.” she said as she headed over towards to put them in the box under the bar.

She resumed sweeping and he grabbed a broom to join her, although he was more of a hindrance than a help as he kept poking her with the broom, bumping hers with his, and taking dance breaks from sweeping every ten seconds.

“I was born to love her and I will never be free, you’ll always be apart of me!” Jake sang along loudly to “Always Something There To Remind Me” by Naked Eyes as she shook her head with a smile and told him to keep sweeping, ignoring his pantomime concert. He kept singing, increasing his efforts to get her attention as she tried, and failed, to focus on sweeping. Eventually he dropped the broom and started wildly flapping his arms around like he had lost feeling in them and was trying to wake them up. She was amazed he hadn’t fallen over from jumping around so much.

“You’re gonna break a leg or something if you keep doing that, Jake.” she said with a laugh as she paused her cleaning. “You have to fly tomorrow.”

“Don’t need legs to fly, babe.” he said as he shimmied towards her and pushed the broom out of her hand, letting it clatter on to the floor as he continued dancing in front of her.

“You look like a dying bird trying to do a mating dance.” she said as he bobbed his head towards her.

“Is it working? Am I seducing you?” He asked and she put a palm to his forehead and gently pushed him backwards.

“We have work to do.” she replied simply, but he could see she was trying to hide her grin as she leaned over to pick up her broom and continue sweeping. “God, no one would ever believe me if I told them how much of a dork you can be sometimes.”

“Only for you, babe.” he said, his movements slowing as he watched her try to stop herself from smiling as she swept, avoiding looking at him. “I just really love making you laugh.”

He took a break from dancing to catch his breath as the song ended and the next began, the opening notes of Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away” filling the room.

“Oh, I love this song!” Jake exclaimed, holding out a hand to her. “Dance with me?”

“No, at least one of us needs to keep cleaning.” she said as she paused her sweeping to look at him.

“Pleeeease?” he asked with a fake pout with big puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. One dance and then we have to finish up.” she said as she leaned the broom up against a nearby table and took his hand.

He pulled her in against his chest, smiling in victory. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other holding one of her hands as she hooked the other around his neck. They swayed slowly to the beat as he held her close, smiling down at her.

“It’s just like prom.” she joked and he laughed, each chuckle reverberating against her chest.

“I didn’t go to my prom.” Jake said. “I did go to the after parties though.”

“That is so you.” she replied.

“What was your prom like?” he asked.

“Bradley took me.” she answered and Jake quirked an eyebrow up in surprise. “He wasn’t gonna go but my boyfriend broke up with me a week before the dance. I was really upset and I already had my dress and everything, so he came so I wouldn’t be alone. I think my dad asked him to.”

“Did you dance like this with him?” Jake asked, just an edge of apprehensive jealousy in his voice.

“No, I didn’t.” She said with a smile. “His dancing is atrocious, I could only get him out on the dance floor once or twice and I think it was for just like the macarena or something like that.”

“So, I’m not only a better lover than him, but I’m also a better dancer… good to know.” Jake said, smirking.

“You know that Bradley and I are, and always have been, just friends, right?” she asked, looking up at him and trying to make sure he knew she was serious. “I know I can’t keep you from being competitive with him but I want to make sure you know that you have nothing to be jealous about. I’m in love with you, not him.”

“I’m always gonna be a little jealous that he was your first but I know that I’m gonna be your last.” Jake said and she smiled before laying her head on his shoulder, listening to his heartbeat as they swayed in a circle.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and began to whisper along with the lyrics to the song in her ear.

“Take my breath away…” he murmured, in a singsong voice.

“You take my breath away, Jake.” she whispered back and he smiled, before moving her into a spin.

She giggled as he turned her in his arms, wrapping himself around her back and then spinning her away again. They twirled around the room together, her making her laugh every time he spun her out and reeled her back in. As the song ended, he reeled her back one last time, holding her waist to keep her back to his chest.

“I think we’ve done enough cleaning for tonight.” he said lowly, his breath hot on her neck as she craned up and backwards to look at him.

“Oh really?” she asked, her eyebrows raising in amusement.

“Yeah, I do.” he said before dropping his voice into a whisper, lips ghosting the very edge of her ear. “And I’ve always wanted to fuck you on the bar.”

She smiled and pulled out of his arms, making her way around the bar to stand across from him. She leaned over, her elbows on the wood holding her weight as she continued tipping forwards, giving him a perfect view of her cleavage.

“What, this bar?” she asked coyly before she smirked and crooked a finger at him, beckoning for him to join her.

He didn’t waste a second to join her behind the bar, pulling her into a hard and passionate kiss, every movement radiating with need and hunger. His hands on her waist tightened and he moved her backwards until her back hit the edge of the bar. In one swift motion, he lifted her up and onto the bar top and she could feel his grin against her lips as she squeaked in surprise. He slotted himself between her legs and pulled her flush against him, one hand with a firm but gentle grip on the side of her face and the other on the side of her thigh, which was bare as her sundress had ridden up. Her hands were hooked behind his neck, her fingers threading into his hair.

“Couldn’t stop looking at you in this dress all night…” he said between rough and demanding kisses, taking a handful of the fabric in his fist as he pushed it further up to expose her panties beneath it. “I just couldn’t wait to get under it.”

“You really like it?” she asked breathlessly as she pulled backwards for gasps of air. “I got it for Bradley’s birthday party last month but I decided not to wear it because I thought it made me look fat.”

“You look fucking gorgeous. You always look so fucking beautiful.” he said, hands wandering around her body. “And don’t mention Rooster while we’re making out, you’re gonna make me jealous.”

“Oh really? Well then… Bradley Bradshaw.” she said smugly, teasing him as her eyes dared him to punish her. He gave a dramatic sigh.

“Well, I guess I have to fuck you so hard you can’t remember your own name, let alone his. The only name I want to hear out of those pretty little lips tonight is mine.” he said gruffly, kissing her in a hard, claiming kiss before moving his lips down to her neck, hiking her leg up to press himself against her core.

“Oh, fuck…” she said, half a moan as he ground the bulge in his jeans against her pantied pussy as he expertly tongued her favorite spot just under her ear. “Jake, you can’t leave a hickey this time, I don’t think that my dad will buy that I burned myself with a curling iron again this week.”

He raised himself off her just enough that his lips still grazed her skin, his words muffled when he said “Just tell him it was a straightener this time.”

He immediately resumed working his way down her neck, her laugh turning to a moan when he reached her chest. Her fingers shook as she tried to unbutton his shirt, desperate to get at the toned abs beneath it. She was about halfway through when they heard the front door jiggle, just barely audible over the soft music. They froze as the door clicked open, grateful that the part of the bar they were at wasn’t visible from the front door.

“Did you really forget to lock the front door too?” Jake whispered.

“I thought I did!” she replied as quietly as possible.

“Y/N, are you still here?” Rooster’s voice called from out of sight as the door swung open with a creak.

“Oh fuck! Hide!” she whispered frantically, slightly panicking as Jake pulled her off the bar top and ducked down just before Rooster walked into sight.

She quickly grabbed a nearby rag and pretended to wipe down the spot she had just been seated at, Jake’s hot breath against her thigh as he knelt beside her, pressed up against a keg of beer connected to a tap. Rooster was oblivious to her panic as he was scanning the room for something.

“I forgot my sunglasses, have you seen them?” he asked as he looked around the piano.

“You came back here at four in the morning to get your sunglasses?” she asked, flustered and a little annoyed they had been interrupted.

“Yeah, they were my dad’s and you know how I don’t like not knowing where they are.” he replied, continuing to look around the room as he made his way towards the pool table.

“Oh…” she said, trailing off as she thought about how attached Bradley was to his dad’s belongings, especially his Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses. Suddenly, Jake stuck his head under her sundress and she squeaked in surprise when she felt his hot breath on her inner thigh.

“Are you alright?” Rooster asked, looking up from his search to check on her.

“Uhh… yeah, no, I’m fine! Totally fine!” she said, discreetly smacking at Jake’s head under her skirt which did nothing to deter him from sneaking his hands up her legs and gently palming her ass. She could practically feel him smirking against her thigh. “Just something in my throat, you know?”

“More like something in your cunt…” Jake muttered into her panties, so quietly that she could barely hear him, meaning that Bradley couldn’t from across the room but she cleared her throat loudly to cover it anyways.

“Uhh, okay.” Rooster said as he continued his search.

Jake licked a stripe on her panties, his nose nudging her clothed folds and she had to bite down hard on her lip to stop a moan from escaping. She thanked the heavens that Bradley was too preoccupied poking around the pool table to notice her behavior.

“Have you seen them?” he asked as he checked the shelves and the windowsill.

“Seen… seen- seen what?” she asked, struggling to focus and not moan out loud as Jake slipped two fingers under her panties and stroked her dripping folds.

Mercifully, Jake removed his wandering fingers when she smacked his head again and he chuckled really quietly against the skin of her inner thigh before pulling his head out from under her dress. Rooster turned to look at her in concern.

“My sunglasses… Are you okay? You’re acting a little weird.” he said as he raised an eyebrow in concern.

“I’m just really tired Bradley, can’t wait to get home and get some sleep, you know…” she said meeting his eyes and seeing a hint of suspicion in them so she quickly added “I put your sunglasses in the lost and found box, just give me a second.”

She ducked down under the bar to crouch at Jake’s level, glaring at him as he smirked, licking her juices off his fingers.

“Yeah babe, what’s wrong? You’re acting weird.” he whispered smugly.

“I’m gonna kill you.” she whispered as she grabbed the sunglasses from the box and stood back up to address Rooster, holding them out. “Here you go Bradley!”

He smiled and moved to her to grab them, her heart racing as she realized all he had to do was look down to see Jake behind the bar. Mercifully, he didn’t look down, just backed up and slowly headed for the door.

“Thanks!” he said before stopping and turning around, her heart stopping with him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay while you finish up and walk you to your car?”

“No!” she said way too quickly and loudly, immediately switching to a more casual tone and volume. “I mean… no, I have to do some inventory and it’ll take at least an hour, but thanks for offering.”

“Alright.” Rooster replied. “Just make sure you lock the door next time, I could have been anyone.”

“Told you…” Jake muttered from under the bar.

“Did you say something?” Rooster asked.

“Yeah, I just said I’d walk you out.” she covered quickly, lightly and discreetly kicking Jake as she moved from behind the bar and to the front door.

She hugged him and said goodbye as he left, locking the door behind him before turning around with her eyes closed to sigh heavily in relief, her back pressed to the door. When she opened her eyes, Jake was leaning against the wall that blocked the bar from view at the door. He had a shit eating grin on his face, his blonde hair was lightly tousled from when she had been pulling it on it, and his shirt was still only half-buttoned, exposing his tanned and toned chest.

“Leaving the front door unlocked too?” he tutted smugly. “You definitely need me here to protect you.”

She marched towards him and smacked him on the chest angrily.

“Ow.” he said quietly, more out of surprise than actual hurt.

“Jacob Thomas Seresin!” she scolded, angrily wagging a finger at him and pointing it into his chest. “What is wrong with you? Are you absolutely insane?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” he said, putting his hands up in surrender before he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. “I just couldn’t resist.”

She pursed her lips, tying to stay mad at him but couldn’t as he gave her a charming grin. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Do you really want Bradley to find out about us because you can’t stop yourself from poking your nose under my dress in front of him?” she asked, a reluctant smile forming as she tried to keep chewing him out. “He’d probably kill you!”

“Oh, he’d definitely kill me.” Jake replied. “But what a way to go! I would die a happy, happy man.” She couldn’t stop herself from laughing at that.

“You’re ridiculous and you are so unbelievably lucky that I love you and that I thought it was a little hot.” he began to smile in victory but she quickly added “But I’m still mad at you so you’d better take me home and try to make it up to me. We can fuck on the bar some other time.”

“Yes ma’am!” Jake said, grinning widely as he gave her a mock salute and swept her off her feet and into his arms, carrying her towards the back door to get her things and leave.

Hangman strutted onto base the next morning feeling exceptionally good despite having gotten approximately two hours of sleep. He walked towards where the rest of the team, minus Maverick, stood in a circle in the middle of a hanger, discussing something.

“Hangman, you look good.” Rooster said as he approached, a strangely sly grin on his face.

“I am good, Rooster. I’m very good.” he replied with a smile as he reached the group and took off his sunglasses.

“That wouldn’t happen to be because you’re fucking Maverick’s daughter, would it?” Bob asked, so nonchalantly that Jake had to do a double take to fully realize what he’d just said, his grin sliding off his face.

“What?” He asked, gaze flickering around the smirking faces of the group.

“We know you’re fucking Y/N.” Phoenix informed him and his mind was racing as fast as his heart was beating, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say to that.

“I… I uhhh… I told you guys I was with a booty call last night…” was all he could manage to say in defense.

“Your car was only partially blocked by the dumpster.” Rooster said with a smirk before leaning in to whisper in his ear so that only he could hear. “And Jake… I know what she sounds like when she moans, even if she tried her best to hide it.”

“Smile!” Coyote said as he snapped a picture of Jake’s face, pale and frozen like a deer in headlights before examining it and showing it to the group. “Now that’s one for the Christmas card!”

“But don’t worry, man.” Rooster said smugly, clapping Hangman on the back and pulling him shoulder to shoulder. “I’m not gonna kill you or anything.”

“You’re not?” Jake asked, eyebrows raised in surprise and confusion.

“Nope.” Rooster replied before turning around and pointing at a figure storming down the tarmac and towards the hanger. “He is.”

“LIEUTENANT SERESIN!” Maverick roared angrily as he stopped at the bay doors.

“Fuuu-” Hangman muttered.

“GET OVER HERE!” Maverick barked, pointing angrily at the space directly in front of him. “NOW! THAT’S AN ORDER!”

“Go get ‘em tiger!” Rooster said, pushing Hangman towards the furious man with a smirk.

“Don’t worry, I’m getting it on video!” Fanboy called after him as he trudged forwards with a nervous gulp, sweat already forming on his brow.

“We’ll play it at your funeral!” Payback added and the whole group laughed as Hangman walked towards his doom, one step at a time.