#i wrote a little earlier but didn’t actually play the game at all. i’m in the beginning / set up phase and that’s the hardest for me lol

[birdietrait]

need to write more about cairo…i miss him

[pitchsidestories]

the favourite II Aitana Bonmatí x Reader

masterlist I word count: 2349

a/n: hi everyone, this oneshot is a longer one, so get cozy. <3

The golden hour has just begun in the beautiful city of Barcelona, you were finally done with correcting your student’s paper, so you were able to continue reading the book on the sofa, which was the perfect way to clock off of work in your opinion.

The happy mood slightly shifted when you thought back to the phone call you had with your girlfriend earlier that day. Aitana told you she was injured and that she was coming back home this evening.

You felt guilty, because partly you were happy about the fact that your lover was about to return to you, this year has been a lot for her work wise, and you rarely got time to spend together as a couple, apart from you trying to be there in the stands at every home game or final. It didn’t surprise you that the midfielder’s body was exhausted from all of this.

On the other hand, Aitana loved playing football so much, so it would be hard to not see her doing what she was so passionate about. You realized reading at this point was impossible, there were too many thoughts running through your mind.

“Hola, mi amor.��, you greeted her warmly, as you heard her opening the front door.

“Hola.”, the football player replied in a cheerful tone which tried to hide the disappointment the brunette felt.

Immediately you jumped off the sofa to give her a much-needed hug. “How are you? I know you had to leave national team camp early.”

“It’s nothing too bad, don’t worry.”, Aitana reassured you with a weak smile on her lips.

“But I do worry a little.”, you admitted concerned while running a hand through your girlfriends open hair, something you knew she liked, because it had a soothing effect on her.

You caught her looking at the papers which were still laying on your kitchen table, so you added quickly:” Sorry, I’ll take those to my office.”

“No, it’s fine. Stay, you’re busy.”, the midfielder slowly shook her head.

“I’m actually done with going through them. My students wrote about their role models, and I spotted some familiar names quite a few times.”, you remembered, smiling fondly at the memory.

“Oh really? Like whose names?”, Aitana looked up curiously.

“Like Patri, Alexia, Salma, but you’ve been mentioned the most. Wait-”, you counted them off on your fingers. You proudly showed your girlfriend the texts which were about her.

“I didn’t know your students cared so much about football, specifically women’s football.”, the midfielder muttered amazed, while devouring the handwritten pages.

“I know, the view definitely changed in recent years… Remember when we were at school and no one seemed to care about women’s football?”, you asked, thinking back to the time when you and Aitana met for the first time. You were best friends in school, always stuck together. Until things changed in your teenage years.

Unhappily, your girlfriend put the papers back on the table: “They always said that we can’t play with the boys.”

“Or that we would never be as good as them.“, you added. “Which I was okay with because I always preferred books over balls, but I admired you for not listening to these voices.”

You had loved a good football match when you were younger, but you never had the same burning desire to play that Aitana possessed.

“That’s all I ever wanted to do, kick a ball around.”, Aitana shrugged and even though a lot had changed since your school days, you felt reminded of the younger Aitana. The quiet girl that defiantly fought for her right to play football.

You smiled softly: “I know, and it got you very far.”

“I never knew it would.”, Aitana replied, clearly lost in her own thoughts about her career.

“But it did.” You took a deep breath. The idea that had been floating around your head since you read the papers started to take form on the tip of your tongue. “Could you do me a favour?”

“Sure, which one?”, your girlfriend answered quickly.

“Maybe you could visit my class to talk a bit about your life as a football player? It would mean the world to them. You’re clearly one of their favorites.” You nodded in the direction of the pages piled on the table.

Aitana did not answer. She stared at you speechlessly until she found her voice a second later: “Your students want to see… me?”

She looked so surprised that you had to bite back a laugh. “Yes, they would love that.”

Aitana beamed: “Sure. Of course I’m coming.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You leaned over for a quick kiss: “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s a pleasure.”

“But for now…”

Your girlfriend raised her eyebrows in expectancy: “Yes?”

“Cuddles?”, you asked innocently, ready to wrap your arms around her.

“Please.”, she smiled. You threw yourself against her body, tightly hugging her.

Laughing, Aitana let herself fall backwards against the armrest of the sofa so you could lay on top of her.

She started to run her fingers across your back: “This is nice.”

Your girlfriend paused for a moment, before adding with a smirk on her lips:” But not as comfortable as in our bed.”

“You’re right let’s go to our bedroom.”, you agreed as you helped her getting into a standing position.

“Coming.”, Aitana answered. With a soft sigh the midfielder landed on your double bed.

“This is so much better.”, she declared, eyes closed. The bedding felt pleasantly cool underneath her body while you laid down next to her.  

“Perfect.”, you mumbled. Grinning you continued:” Do you want me to read out to you a little?”

“Sure.”, the football player nodded, there was nothing in the world she found more soothing than listening to your voice.

“Okay.”, you happily obliged to it. After a couple of pages, you realized that your girlfriend was becoming sleepy. Quietly you put your book on the nightstand.

“Sleep well, Tana.”

“Night.”, Aitana whispered before inevitably sleep took it’s hold over her.

In the mornings you were always the first of you two to get up, as you needed to be ready for school. Much to your own surprise you realized that the midfielder was awake too:” Good morning.”

“Morning, amor.”, she replied, before placing a sweet kiss to your mouth.

“You know that you can still stay in bed, right?”, you muttered blushing. After all those years the brunette still had that effect on you.

“I know, but I couldn’t sleep anymore.”, Aitana admitted smiling sheepishly.

“I guess I’ll make two cups of coffees this morning.”, you remarked.

“Please.”, your girlfriend responded. When the dark-haired woman was holding the warm drink in her hand, she thanked you with another kiss.

“You’re welcome.”, you replied, enjoying one of the rare mornings you both had together.

You wished you could enjoy that moment for a little bit longer but looking at the clock on the wall you cursed under your breath:” Oh shit, I need to go!”

“Have fun. I’ll see you later.”, Aitana winked at you.

“Bye.”, you blew her a kiss, before making your way out of your home, ready for another day with your classes which were all dear to your heart.

The day arrived when Aitana was about to meet them for a lesson, you beamed excited at her:” Ready, love?”

“Ready.”, she nodded, your girlfriend was glad to have some distraction from her injury for at least the upcoming two hours. For a second you pressed her hand encouragingly, before leading her into the classroom.

“Good morning, everyone. Today we’ve a very special guest.”, you announced cheerfully.

A young girl with blonde hair called Imma sat in the front row and gasped audibly: “Oh my god, Aitana!“

She stared at the football player with widened eyes.

Your girlfriend smiled politely before introducing herself: “Hi, I’m Aitana Bonmatí. I’m a football player for FC Barcelona.“

“Can we ask her some questions?“, Jordi asked curiously. You knew that the lanky boy had vast interest in all kinds of football, no matter if the players were male or female.

You nodded, watching as his eyes sparkled in excitement: “Sure, that’s why she came.“

“Go ahead.“, Aitana prompted, trying to get the children to ask questions.

Imma raised her hand hesitantly: “From where do you know, Miss y/l/n?“

Your girlfriends gaze subconsciously drifted into your direction. You shared a smile for a split second.

With an eye-roll, Jordi complained: “That’s such a boring question, Imma!“

“I think that’s a very good question. We went to school together years ago.“, Aitana answered the question truthfully.

Jordi snorted: “Was she reading books back then too?“

You had to stop yourself from telling him, once again that reading was not only good for them but also a lot of fun. You tried to encourage your class to read every chance they got.

Before you could say anything, Aitana grinned: “Oh yes. She always loved books.“

“But I can play a bit too.“, you added innocently.

“Yeah. She’s pretty good.“, your girlfriend had to agree.

For once, Jordi was silent, looking from you to Aitana and back. A challenging smile appeared on his face: “We need to see that after class. But how did it feel to win the Ballon d’Or?“

“Amazing. It was a great honour but I couldn’t have done it without my team.“

“And you also won the Champions League!“, a red-haired girl interrupted with a big toothy grin.

“Yes, that was amazing too.“, the football player nodded.

Julias cheeks turned almost as red as her hair from exhilaration: “So cool!“

“I’m lucky to have such a great team around me.“, you heard Aitana say and you almost grimaced at how humble she was in front of your students.

Julia immediately followed with the next question, not allowing your girlfriend a break: “Do you have a favourite teammate? And is it Rolfö?“

Aitana laughed, surprised by the question: “I have a lot of favourite teammates. And Frido is one of them. She’s great, very sweet.“

“Like a team mum?“, Imma piped up.

“A bit, yes.“

“That’s cute.“, Imma commented happily.

“But we have a lot of people who can step up as team mums.“, the midfielder continued.

“Aitana, how’s your injury?”, Jordi changed the subject to a more serious one.

“It’s not too bad. They just wanted to be careful, so it doesn’t get worse.”, the midfielder waved it off in a reassuring way.

“Oh, good.”, he sighed relieved.

 “So now I’m here and can hang out with you guys.”, Aitana clapped enthusiastically her hands.

“Exactly.”, you smiled proudly at her.  

“Sorry, did you want to continue, amor?”, your girlfriend looked at you expectantly.

“No, I just wanted to say that the class is ending soon.”, you shook your head.

“Any more questions?”, the football player turned her attention to your students again.

“Can we play now?”, Jordi asked her innocently.

“Of course. Let’s go and play some football.”, Aitana agreed, her eyes mirroring the excitement of the little boy who was very thrilled to play with a Barcelona player.

On her way out, she couldn’t help but to tease you in front of the children:” Let’s see how good your teacher still is.”

“I’ll show you!”, you laughed.

“Prove it.”, the midfielder gave you a playful challenging look.

One of your students was handing you the football, so you did one of the football tricks you still knew before kicking it into the empty goal, making the boys and girls erupt into a loud cheer.

“See? She didn’t forget anything.”, Aitana said, her voice full of admiration.

“Wow.”, Jordi followed your moves with the football amazed.

“Not, bad, right?”, Aitana questioned him amused.

“Not as good as you are though.”, you whispered into her ear.

“Oh, if you got paid to play football all day, you’d also be good.”, she stated firmly.

“Yes, but I love my job, just look at their eyes.”, you replied, your girlfriend did what you asked her to do. The girls and boys faces lit up while playing football in front of one of their idols.

Afterwards she looked back at you in adoration: “I only must look in your eyes. You were made to work with children. They adore you.”

You weren’t even a big Taylor Swift fan, but your friends and the older students were and there was a line in one of her songs, which you quietly sung to her, before you looped the ball over the midfielder:” You know how to ball, I know Aristotle.”

“Excuse me?! What was that?!”, Aitana’s mouth fell wide open.

“I don’t know how I did it either!”, you confessed.

“That was impressive as hell!”, Jordi told you.

With sparkling eyes, Imma demanded: “Do it again!“

“Yes, do it again.“, Aitana smirked.

“Like this?“, you asked before trying to play the ball over the worlds best female footballer again. This time, you were less lucky and the ball came at the perfect height for Aitana to easily head it back to you.

“Oh no, it didn’t work.“ Julia sounded slightly disappointed.

You shrugged, trying to use the opportunity to teach your students a valuable lesson: “The good thing is, one can always try again.“

Aitana instead winked at them: “Don’t worry, I’ll teach her at home.“

Imma frowned in confusion: “At home? Do you two live together?“

“Are you stupid? She called her amor earlier!“, Jordi groaned.

The smaller girls eyes widened: “She did?“

“Yes!“

Aitana smiled at you, subtly linking your pinkies together: “She’s my best friend but also my girlfriend.“

“Oh.“ Julia made a delighted sound.

Jordi rolled his eyes: “They love each other, it’s so obvious, girls.“

And then he was back to kicking the ball around. Julia and Imma quickly chased after him, trying to get the ball.

You and your girlfriend stood in comfortable silence, still holding hands and watching the children run around you.

In this moment you were hit with the realization that this was exactly all you ever wanted from life.

[aebinspa]

meant to be

PAIRING: karina x y/n reader

SUMMARY: Your life couldn’t have been worse. You aspired to make a living as a photographer, but instead, you found yourself working in a fast-food restaurant alongside a colleague who rarely offered you any good company. Everything changed when the famous model Karina showed up at your workplace. After a few days, she managed to convince the editorial team to hire you as the photographer for her photoshoot. However, your career faced another threat when Karina pressured you to assist her with a strictly confidential operation.

GENRES: angst, lies, loneliness, we will face suffering in this life, but eventually, things will improve, and we will start over again and again, fluff at the end.

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! i'm not cut out for writing long stories. i went crazy countless times while writing this one :)) i added a little bit every day and it made the story more confusing. the next five things I write will be fluff, no more angst for a while + thank you for all the support you have shown for what i wrote. i am extremely grateful and happy that someone was able to appreciate them!

Life didn't end when you lost all your friends because of bad choices, didn't know where to put your hands, or stopped recognizing yourself in what you did and said. Life didn't end when you turned twenty. At least that's what you told yourself every morning to convince yourself to get up, when even what had previously seemed sensible lost all meaning.

In the eyes of your parents and your old friends, you had remained imprinted as a sour girl, difficult to manage but who, beyond some character problems, had always shown herself willing to help. Never to be helped. Perhaps this had a powerful impact. In your daily life, no one asked how you were in the morning. Was it more difficult for others to reach out to you and always receive a refusal or was it more difficult for you now to be alone, without anyone? And yet loneliness had always been so dear to you; a space where you could truly be yourself.

After trying to attend political science university for a few months and failing the first exam, you soon realized that it wasn't for you. The only luck was having met a girl who, between one lesson and another, had introduced you to the world of photography.

In photography, you discover a kind of joy that you could share. Often others would ask you for photos and you, with a big smile, couldn't wait to take one. Of course, everything got complicated when you had to come to terms with reality. There was no longer just photography, you also had to think about earning some money.

That's how you ended up working at a fast food restaurant that was open all day and, with the constant fear of running out of money at any moment, you signed up for all the night shifts. Someone had set you up by telling you that they paid more, but only when your first paycheck arrived did you realize that your dear colleague only wanted to get rid of the difficult shifts.

That night, you and Sunwoo, the beloved colleague who had actually made fun of you a few years earlier, were at the counter of the fast food restaurant busy playing UNO. It was more than rare to see customers at two in the morning.

“UNO!” Sunwoo shouted at the top of his lungs. “Fuck you, asshole! I’m tired and you dare win my favorite card game!” you threw the remaining cards of the deck off the counter. Sunwoo huffed and, with an agile leap, got off the counter and went to retrieve the poor cards that were now lying on the floor that was far too clean for the hygiene standards of the place where you worked. “It’s the only card game you know how to play, Y/n”

It was cold outside. A cold that froze the bones. Your winter uniforms didn’t warm you enough and the heating had suddenly stopped working the day before. Sunwoo didn't let it show, but he hated working more than you did. He had a dream more ambitious than yours and unfortunately, every door was closed in his face. The fast food place where he worked with you was the daily confirmation that failure was a constant in his life. And you were experiencing the same situation first-hand.

Sometimes photography gave you work, but you couldn't eat from it. Small jobs are undoubtedly formative, but not appealing to the taste of those big companies that looked at your disastrous portfolio.

While Sunwoo began to sweep the clean floor, you, lost in your thoughts, froze, feelinglessly staring at the street you looked at every night. Suddenly, you saw a black limousine approaching, and, scared that someone important might be there, you shook Sunwoo’s arm and pointed to the car. His eyes widened as well.

But to your surprise, the first person to step out of the car was a man in a tuxedo who then proceeded to open the back door facing the fast-food restaurant. A girl of medium height came out, wearing a black dress that hugged her body in all the right places. When she was closer to the door, you immediately noticed, illuminated by the decadent lights of the place where you were, that she had heavy makeup on her face that beautifully framed her eyes.

The young raven-haired girl sat on the stool in front of the counter. Sunwoo was still speechless. He could only mutter a shy, unprofessional “Ah, hi,” to which the girl responded with a sweet smile. Her gaze shifted to you and you flinched.

“Can I order?” she reached out to grab the menu Sunwoo had sat on earlier. “I guess so.” “The menu with the fattest, greasiest, biggest sandwich you have, please.” Sunwoo snatched the menu out of her hands and shouted “Right away!”, disappearing into the kitchen and leaving you in front of the girl. Outside, you noticed her date glaring at you.

“Not many customers come by, do they?” “We don’t usually see anyone. That’s why your visit surprised us a lot” The girl laughed in a strangely loud way. Strange, I thought she was more composed. “God, please. We will be more or less the same age, don't be so formal,” she wiped her hands on her dress laughing, and then looked at you ready to shake your hand “I'm Karina. It’s a stage name. I model full-time."

You shook hands with her, apologizing for how cold and greasy it might feel. “Well, I… I work here.” The girl smiled at you. “And do you like working here?” “What?”

Sunwoo came with Karina’s order and placed it before her, avoiding her gaze. When he crossed yours, you noticed that the boy had red cheeks. I whispered something to you but you didn’t understand.

It’s been too long since someone asked you what it was like to live a life you no longer wanted. Your mouth dried up and you were unable to answer. Karina shrugged and began eating the sandwich undisturbed.

With her mouth still full from the bite she had just taken, the model opened up to speak. It was evident she was nothing like the stereotype of a typical model; her authenticity was refreshing. Feeling overwhelmed, you moved two stools away from the client, seeking a bit of distance as you listened, intrigued by her unique charm.

"You took those, didn’t you?" Karina found it difficult to eat that part, but she couldn’t help but examine the few decorations in the fast-food restaurant. "Ah, those pictures," you turned your entire body to look at them. "Yes, I took all of them. They’re from our customers who left a special tip." "Special tip?" Karina asked, intrigued. "Yes, for a change of $4, you receive a Polaroid and agree to have it displayed on this wall. It’s not worth much, though, because I’m required to take two pictures for the price of one."

"They are all very pretty. I know some people." "There are a lot of people passing by. Sometimes they tell you their story, take a picture, and then leave, never to return. It’s almost as if-" "Romantic, yes" Karina finished the sentence for you, to your great surprise.

The silence that was created afterward was strangely comfortable. For someone like you who was always uncomfortable when she met strangers, the situation was quite strange. Karina, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease as she was happily humming and chewing at the same time. When the crow finished eating, she got up from her stool, stretched her arms, and put ten euros on the counter.

"Please don't make me change." "Pardon?" "I would like one of those photos. I'm looking forward to experiencing this too." What enthusiasm!

You took the Polaroid and waited for the young woman to pose before taking the picture. Karina made a big heart with her arms and gave you a wink. She is truly a model… "Are you done?" "Done!"

Karina approached you, then stood behind you and waited for the Polaroid to be ready. When she was ready, the girl screamed full of joy. You smiled unconsciously. "I love it, thank you!" she leaned it delicately on the counter and then turned quickly towards you, continuing to talk. "Let’s take the other one! Let’s do it together. Where is that boy? Boy! Boy! Ehiii!" Sunwoo ran out of the kitchen alarmed. "What- what happened?" "Nothing, Sunwoo" You put your hand on your forehead. "Can you take a picture of us? So we can hang it there." Sunwoo looked for your eyes but you avoided him, unable to explain. At which the boy approached the polaroid and urged you to pose. Karina chose the same place where all the other clients had been, saying she would keep the theme, and invited you to place yourself next to her.

Karina was a little taller than you, maybe a few centimeters, but in your eyes there seemed to be a huge difference. You stood closer to her to form the heart and pretended a smile of convenience to allow Sunwoo to take this photo. The proximity to the model sent a bizarre sensation creeping along your spine. Intrigued, you paused to take a closer look at her. In that moment, when no one else was watching, the radiant smile she had worn so confidently faded entirely from her face. Her eyes, once sparkling with warmth, now seemed overshadowed by a deep, unsettling darkness that only amplified her presence. Without warning, the model turned her gaze toward you, her lips curving into a wide grin that revealed a perfect set of thirty-two gleaming teeth. A chill swept over you, wrapping around your body like an icy blanket, leaving you momentarily breathless and disoriented. What the fuck?

"You did such a great job, girls. It's rare for Y/n!" You woke up from the nightmare of falling and responded to Sunwoo with a raised middle finger. "Oh, she's got quite an attitude. I need to leave," Karina said, finally letting go of you after holding you tightly. That girl was beginning to stir strange feelings in you. "The photo turned out just fine. Let me sign it and put the date on it. Come on!" Sunwoo timidly passed the Polaroid to the girl and watched her do everything she said.

With your arms folded you waited for her comfortable finish. Karina approached the corkboard and put your Polaroid on it. He smiled at her and turned, heading for the exit.

"Y/n!" Hearing your name pronounced by the model, you turned to her with an interrogative look. "Tell me" "See you!" and ran off into the limo, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume and a cheap Polaroid.

That night passed faster than expected and Sunwoo told you - with attached photos - how this fantastic Karina was one of the most popular models in recent years. Besides being beautiful, she was about to debut in the cinema world. The moon was full and the cold was more bitter than usual. An uncomfortable feeling was in your chest, but you let it pass.

While you were going to work the next day, you took some pictures at the illuminated windows of that night. One of the projects you had since moving to that city was to create a collection of photos showing nightlife, although it was difficult to call it "life", of the traders, workers, or people just going out for fun. But you didn’t have enough prestige and money.

When you arrived at work, you greeted Sunwoo coldly, who returned. You worked hard until three in the morning because, as you well know, on Saturday mornings there were waves of guys full of life coming back from bars where they had only drunk, or from discos in the area. You found it a good opportunity to take some pictures for your photo project.

In no time at all it was six o'clock. The sun was beginning to rise and the first rays of sunshine came through the large windows of the structure. You and Sunwoo were getting ready for the end of the shift, but the boy seemed particularly agitated so you told him to leave before you. You would have waited for the other girl to give her the keys and start the shift after. Sunwoo thanked you and ran away. You knew how much he cared about his passion.

The sound of the door creaking open cut through the stillness of the room, jolting you from your thoughts. You glanced at the clock on the wall, your brow furrowing as you noted it was already twenty minutes past the time your colleague was supposed to arrive. Just as you were about to call out, "You’re lat—" your words caught in your throat. Standing in the doorway was not your expected colleague, but the enigmatic man who had accompanied Karina the night before. He stood there, an air of mystery surrounding him, his presence both intriguing and unsettling as he caught your eye.

"How can I help you?" you asked, even though you were pressed for time and the only one in the room. "I was looking for you. It was lucky that I found you right away," the other person replied. You tightened your grip on the broom you had been pretending to sweep with just moments before. "For what purpose?" you inquired.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp white card, sliding it across the table to you. You glanced down to see a neatly printed address alongside the name: Vogue, Karina’s Photoshoot. Confusion washed over you as you looked back up at him. "What does this mean?" you asked. He shifted uneasily, avoiding your gaze. "Miss Karina has requested that you oversee her new photoshoot," he explained, his tone heavy with discomfort. "The previous photographer was let go… rather abruptly. I expect you to be at the studio in two days."

Your hands shook as you faced a big opportunity. You nodded slowly, your mouth half open, unsure what to say. The man smiled and walked away, leaving you stunned. The broom fell from your hands and clattered to the floor. Your knees felt weak, and your mind went blank for a moment. You couldn’t think. You wondered how powerful Karina was and what she wanted from you.

The next day you showed up in the hall of the huge palace, waiting fearlessly for someone to come and call you. You had spent the night before reading and browsing photography books or looking at random palettes that could help you match any clothing you found on Karina.

A tall woman approached you slowly, her expression grim as she pointed to a location on the map she had just tossed at you. What a kindness… You quickly walked toward the meeting place and, upon finding the door, opened it carefully. Inside, a crew of about twenty people turned their curious gazes toward you, along with Karina and her manager.

You slowly approached your collaborators and thanked them timidly for their attention. "We will do everything that needs to be done and we will accomplish it together. All we should do is unite everyone’s ideas and give life to some of the most beautiful photos ever made" Karina, sitting in a velvet chair, put her hand in front of her and laughed candidly.

It didn’t take five hours to create everything that needed to be created. The ideas came from everyone like a river in full flow. Fill a room with artists who are also competitive people and you will get the exact personification of an erupting volcano. You were the Vesuvius and the fashion industry was your Pompeii. The next day you swore to finish the project so that you could go on with the production of the photos.

Karina, who should have been bored at least by having spent the day waiting for others to do their jobs, approached you with a remarkable delicacy and touched your shoulder. "Can you come over there?" Karina pointed to a closet nearby; it was her dressing room. "Uhm, sure" There was no reason to say no. You looked over your shoulder before entering the dressing room with the girl with the brown hair. It was the first time you saw her in a suit and all you could think about was how well she wore anything. It must be nice.

Karina invited you to sit in the two-seater chair with her. Hesitantly, you approached and sat face to face with the girl who flashed a smile revealing thirty-two teeth. "I brought you here because—" You interrupted her before she could finish. "Let’s say you fired the photographer from Vogue so I could come here." "An insignificant detail," she replied.

In Karina's eyes, you saw the same darkness you had observed a few days earlier. It made you hesitant to speak, fearing the words wouldn't come out right. "You must help me," she said. "Why should I?" you asked. Karina rose from her chair and stood in the middle of the room, her expression unreadable as she continued to gaze at you.

"You must. And if you don’t, I’ll take the only real opportunity you’ve got in your miserable life off your hands." "What’s the excuse?" the conversation seemed too much for you, so you immediately put yourself on defense. "You are a beautiful girl, you are good at what you do. I like your photos, I am sincere" "But?"

The frigid air enveloped the room, wrapping around you like an unwelcome shroud, making each breath feel laborious and strained. With every second that passed, a chilling sensation crept through your body, as if the very warmth within you was being siphoned away, leaving you increasingly vulnerable to the oppressive cold.

“You must photograph the emerging actress and model Yuna at a moment that could cause a scandal and ruin her career forever.” “This is fucking crazy,” you jumped up and approached Karina, who didn’t move an inch “I’m leaving, I don’t intend to keep this job and do whatever bullshit you came up with. I knew you were crazy, I understood it immediately"

Karina rolled her eyes, grabbed your arm, and pushed you into the seat. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m capable of destroying your present life and your future life. Be careful what you do. Listen to me and calm down” Karina’s hands were extremely cold but your gaze was even more icy.

“Speak then, cheap model” “It will all be anonymous. Become her friend and her photographer. You have one week. The clock runs out before the day you have to send the completed photoshoot to the Vogue editorial office” “It’s called blackmail” “It’s called seizing opportunities. You won’t get them again”

You looked away for a moment before getting up from your chair and moving back to the center of the room. You walked back and forth, occasionally glancing at Karina.

“They’ll kill me anyway when they realize it’s me” “Don’t worry,” Karina stood up to get closer to you, “We’ll use an external computer and no one will ever know” “A person will be involved, I don’t think I’m capable of it” “She won’t die” Karina had an amused grin on her face.

You thought back to Sunwoo and how he loved what he did like no one else. However, the most selfish part of you had surfaced. You wanted to pursue a career in photography, and you were unconcerned about the people who would be affected by your ambition. You would have done anything to make your dream a reality.

“I’m in” You held out your hand to Karina, surprised by your sudden change of heart. When Karina squeezed your hand you noticed it was as cold as yours. And that perhaps you were more similar than you could have imagined.

You never imagined that the next day you would find yourself taking pictures of the woman who had asked you to ruin the life of another model without remorse. You had discovered that all your collaborators considered Karina a sweet, kind, and always available girl, while in your eyes, every time you looked at her, you felt like you were looking at a monster.

Once the photoshoot was over and, therefore, the work you had to do for Vogue, you walked into the Karaoke where Karina had asked you to meet. The room was insolently small - maybe the girl liked everything smaller - and the nauseating smell made you immediately understand what kind of dump it was.

“Don’t you like it here?” asked Karina, who was cross-legged and munching on some chips, which she offered you and you refused. “It’s pretty disgusting” “It’s okay. We won’t be here long”

Karina took her Gianni Chiarini bag and pulled out three photos. One was of Yuna, the other of a girl you couldn’t identify, and in the last photo, there was you.

“What does that mean?” “Yuna is having an affair with this girl.” Karina touched the face print of the girl whose name you didn’t know with her painted nail and then continued. “In case you didn’t understand, your photo is there because I wanted to let you know that I had you followed a week before I showed up at your place of work by a trusted friend of mine.” “What?” you were visibly shocked. “Don’t worry, honey. I will only use the information I have on you if you don’t cooperate.” A disturbing smile made you doubt her sincerity.

“Why are you so mad at this girl?” “Because she can’t keep what’s hers.” “What does that mean translated…?” Karina huffed and put the photos back in her bag. “We grew up in this industry together. We achieved success together. And then she cheated on me.”

You were stunned. “All this just because he didn't hold your hand throughout the journey of your life? Are you crazy-” “She cheated on me countless times. She told my parents that I’m a lesbian, they haven’t spoken to me since that day. And to top it all off, she stopped me from working for a year, taking away the most important collaboration of my life”

You almost felt sorry, but you didn’t say anything. Her eyes radiated something else. Maybe she too was human and was simply tired.

“Become her new fuck buddy. Treat her well and then you can be sure that you’ll end up finding her making out with someone else. Take as many pictures as you can and you’ll be free forever” “I don’t- Who told you I like women?” “My dear friend” “God, fuck Karina” “Um, maybe this collaboration will lead to something good?”

You looked up in shock and found a rather smiling Karina. “Do you start talking about sex when you're done talking about revenge? You’re crazy.” “I can’t help it if revenge turns me on like crazy.” Karina slowly ran her tongue over her upper lip, while you looked at her with wide eyes.

“Are you really… My god, you do this to everyone?” “Everyone who? You’re probably the last woman in three years that I’ve found truly attractive!” You rested your face on the fist you’d created with your right hand.

“Do you feel lonely?” Karina looked at you intently and nodded, gently moving her head. “Me too. That’s why I’ll help you. I see reflected in your eyes the same sadness that I feel." That's what it was.

“Y/n” “Tell me” “Do a good job” “I’ll try”

Karina finished all the chips that were left on the table, while you looked at her intently and prayed that the day you would meet Yuna would never come.

Unexpectedly, you received a call the next day: a very familiar voice invited you to participate in a graphic project that involved twenty different photographers who would take pictures of Yuna during a typical month of hers at the beach. Fans are certainly crazy to buy this, but it's all for the career, right?

Your first encounter with Yuna was ordinary. Where normal means you were struck by how tall and beautiful she was, even though Karina had gotten you used to it well. Yuna walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “Y/n, right? I saw some photos of your portfolio and I loved them. The way you capture what's around is extremely sincere. Thank you for accepting. I am eternally grateful”

Yuna was warm. You noticed it immediately. Her body temperature had nothing to do with Karina's. Yuna's smile, moreover, really showed a sincere kindness. The photos you took were delicate, beautiful, and… real. But you remembered what Karina had told you and quickly came to your senses.

You spent two days taking photographs for one of the most beloved women in the world - that's what the charts said - and on the last evening, Yuna and her manager dragged all twenty of you to a pub.

Yuna, clearly drunk, stood up on a chair and started screaming. “Thank you! You were amazing! This project will come out amazing. Now let’s get our glasses up, we have to celebrate!” As everyone downed a few glasses of beer, you noticed a familiar face looking sweetly at Yuna. It was her girlfriend. You asked the boy next to you to switch seats and, perhaps nodding his head, he permitted you.

"Hi, I'm Y/n" "Ah, nice to meet you, I'm Haseul! Yuna showed me your photos. They're beautiful, congratulations" How cute, I almost feel sorry for using her like that. "I see you're looking at Yuna with sweet eyes… Is there something underneath?" the little laugh you let out right after should have helped break the tension, but it only made it grow even more. Haseul wiped the sweat on her pants and then spoke to you.

"I love her more than anyone else in the world" Ah. "It must be nice to love someone" You ran a hand uncomfortably behind your neck. "It's nice to have someone by your side. We're almost always together. I only have her. After what Yuna went through last year, she's become even stronger" A strong curiosity grew in you.

"What happened to her?" "Her ex-girlfriend cheated on her, Yuna found out and told her parents to shoot her an arrow that would cause her the same pain" "That's not possible" "Plus Yuna lost a very important job with Saint Laurent. She spent sleepless nights because of Karin-" Haseul quickly covered her face with her hands.

"Karina. Are you sure it was her fault?" "Ask anyone you want. She lied to everyone and messed up half the plans of people here just to go out and cheat on her girlfriend. Everyone hates her. She's just a pretty face in this industry"

Your head started to spin, maybe from drinking too much alcohol. “I’m going to get some fresh air!” “Shall I accompany you?” “It doesn’t matter, thanks.”

Outside, on the side of an empty road, you threw up next to a dumpster. Karina had been lying to you. She was evil, she was crazy, and a total dickhead. Everyone knew it but you. Because you had been a normal person until the week before. You had seen the surface, never what was underneath.

You understood that Karina would treat you like Yuna. You understood that the only solution would be to refuse, but your career was at stake.

Yuna came out and walked over to you. “I’m sorry you found out. I know everything. Karina isn’t the only one who can spy on people without being accused.” “Do you know everything?” “From the stupid meeting at the fast food restaurant to the job opportunities she offered you. Her dear friend, aka her manager, is Shin Yuna here’s dearest friend.”

You looked into her eyes. “I’ll have to… No, hurt you. I don’t want to.” I wanted to, but now I don’t want to anymore. “It doesn’t matter. Do it.” “How could I?” Haseul came closer to the two of you. “You can’t hurt us. When you find someone in life who loves you, life has a whole different meaning.”

The cold suddenly hit you. And, strangely, you thought for a second that those two were crazy. “Yuna would lose her job,” you continued “But I will never lose the people I love. And anyway,” Yuna put her arm around Haseul’s waist, “I won’t be in this industry for long.”

Haseul looked you in the eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry.”

As you made your way home, your eyes caught the massive posters of Karina that adorned the streets yet, beneath your admiration, a swirl of conflicting emotions surged inside you; you couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she was not only a bit unpredictable but also a master of deception. Despite all that, you felt an undeniable urge to kiss her.

The karaoke seemed more rotten than usual. Karina didn’t seem to belong there at all. The last day, the decisive one, had now arrived. You sat down, like the last time, in front of the raven-haired girl.

“Hi, Y/n. I see you well. How are you?” “Better than you can imagine” “My ears only want to hear good news”

You took her usual bag of chips from her hands and started munching on them. “What do you think of your modeling job?” “I hate it” Karina, to your surprise, answered without even thinking for a second. “Why?” “There is no sincerity in what I do. But it is the only job that puts me in contact with hundreds of people a week. It makes me feel less alone”

You put the chips on the table and took out the incriminating photos. “Yuna and Haneul, as you asked me and here I have,” you took out the USB stick, “the murder weapon!” Karina looked at you with wide eyes. “Did you… Do it?” “Your charm won me over, unfortunately, I have to admit it” Even though You were ironic, Karina's cheeks turned pink.

Karina pulled out a computer without making eye contact with you. Then she ordered you to open it. In front of your eyes was a fairly famous site where you were supposed to upload incriminating photos of Yuna and Haseul.

“Y/n. I have to tell you something" As you wrote the description of the photos you would publish immediately after, you signaled Karina to continue.

“Maybe it's because I haven't felt someone's affection for a long time, maybe it's because I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore without crying but…” “After Karina, after” “You said…” “Let me talk”

Seeing Karina so vulnerable and with teary eyes made you feel guilty, but what you wanted to do you would have done without complaining. Karina, however, seemed ready to let go of everything, to take a decisive step.

“Karina, kiss me” “Why should I do that? Are you crazy?” “Last time you seemed intent on doing much more!” you raised your voice. “If I kiss you it’s only because I want to show you how I feel!”

You both were incredibly close. The intensity of the conversation had drawn you from the karaoke sofas, and now you stood face to face, the air feeling thick between you. Karina was the first to make a move. She reached behind your neck, gripped your hair tightly, and swallowed hard. You didn't want to initiate the kiss; you wanted her to take the lead. And that’s exactly what she did. Karina leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, but the kiss was tentative, almost shy. She clearly wanted you to respond, but you held back. The kiss ended before it truly began.

“Why?” she asked, embarrassed. You, in response, checked your phone and went back to finishing the article on the computer. You connected your phone to the computer and transferred the photos.

“What about the USB stick?” “I’ll give it to you as soon as I’m finished”

Five minutes passed before you closed the computer. The die was cast. And so is your life and Karina's. There was no turning back, in any way.

“Y/n?” “Done” “Good…” Karina grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. You did the same.

“Why did you lie to me?” “What are you talking about, Y/n? “Tell me the truth. Haseul and Yuna told me everything. I also spoke to other colleagues. All the same version. You’re a liar, Karina.”

Karina looked back at you with a blank stare. “And what are you?” “That’s not the point.” Karina slammed her fist on the table. “From everything they told you, did you only understand that I’m a liar?” “How can I trust you, Karina?”

Karina hugged the blanket and started biting her nails. "You know when I'm lying. You can feel it. You know when I’m not natural. I understood immediately when we met that there was a different connection between us." “Do you say that to everyone?” “You’re not funny, Y/n!” Karina screamed and threw the bag of chips in your direction, making a mess in the room.

“It’s not funny to make fun of people. You used me.” “I didn’t!” “So what did you do, Karina? How would you call what you did?” “I tried to keep you as close as possible… I don’t have anyone. Yuna wanted to leave me and I had sex with someone else the next day! Our relationship was over.” “People can’t love you if you pretend to be someone else.” “Everyone abandoned me. They abandoned me when I pretended to be the sweet and kind Karina and when I was the real Karina!”

Karina seemed to have reached a point of no return, but you could do nothing but pity her. Now you just had to tell her your truth.

“Karina, listen to me. Yuna got what she got because she moved on and recognized that love can be found anywhere. Her career is worth a thousand times more than a career like yours that was built on pain. Just forget about this life. Start over again." “The only one I have is my manager. I have no ambitions, I have no love. I just wanted someone to feel the way I do.” “We all fight for something, Karina! I fight for photography and you’ve been fighting against yourself for too long!”

Karina seemed to be furious. “You don’t understand. I’ve been alone all my life! The only one who’s close to me is my manag-” “No, he’s Yuna’s informant. When he handed me the ticket for Vogue, I immediately understood that he was not on your side, Karina”

“Karina” “I hate you. Will you stop throwing the truth in my face? I know, damn, I know I’m alone. I've never gotten along well with anyone. But with you, I had a good time. Time never seemed to end. You’ll abandon me too. You all do the same when I show you how I am”

You turned the computer towards her. “Karina, I posted the photos. Look at them. First, breathe and then rationalize” Karina did as you said, too vulnerable to go against you.

When she saw the article with the photo of you she couldn’t say a word. She just asked you, in a weak voice, why you did it. “We can start over, Karina. They already had everything. In their eyes, I saw what was missing in ours. Rise from the ashes Karina or die forever, it would make more sense than continuing to pretend to live in someone else’s body”

You got up from the room, knowing that the news with the photo of you and Karina kissing would do more harm to her than to you. You shut the door behind you. You turned around. Outside you waited for Karina, hoping she would come out so you could comfort her. But that didn’t happen.

The news caused a scandal. The billboards with Karina disappeared, her role as the lead actress in that new movie was deleted and for more than a month, all anyone talked about was that photo. No one recognized your face; next to Karina, you looked quite bad. Yuna called you and guaranteed that your name and work would remain in the photo book. The Vogue photos were never published. You stuck them up, with Sunwoo’s help, in the fast food restaurant.

Sometimes someone stopped to observe them and Sunwoo took care of answering their questions. Very naturally, he said that Karina loved coming to this fast food restaurant - before it disappeared - and that you were her favorite.

Six months had gone by, yet the ache in your chest refused to fade, a constant reminder of the unresolved feelings haunting you. Each night, you lay alone in bed, tears soaking your pillow, knowing that no one would come to comfort you—and that no one would offer her the same kindness. In those haunting hours, you grappled with memories and regrets, feeling the weight of your sorrow pressing down on you like a heavy shroud.

“What a beautiful day! Life has never been so beautiful!” “Sunwoo, it’s just your first role in a stupid TV series” “A stupid TV series that you’ll watch!”

You and Sunwoo had become great workmates again. This time, you were the one who requested more hours, and Sunwoo, despite having found a second job, had decided to work alongside you in each of them.

Sometimes you look at the street illuminated by the street lamps. You hadn't been able to move on. After Yuna’s photobook came out, your name appeared on many other projects. You had started working with many more idols. But there was no one like her.

“Still thinking about it?” “My mind is occupied with her, Sunwoo” “You couldn’t contact her?” “No one has her number and no one has been close to her. At least I know she’s not dead” “Yeah…”

It was four in the morning on a random Thursday when a black car pulled up on the road and parked in front of the fast food restaurant. Sunwoo let out a scream and hid behind the counter. “Is that the police? What have you done, Y/n?” “Stop it, you idiot, and get the emergency number ready. You never know”

But a woman with blonde hair, no makeup, and wearing a sweatshirt that looked very expensive, stepped out of the car. At first, you and Sunwoo couldn’t figure out who she was, you could only guess that she was extremely attractive from the way she walked.

When the first light from the fast food restaurant hit her face, Karina revealed herself to you with a shy smile. “Sunwoo…” she waved at the boy. “And well… Y/n… How are you doing?”

Sunwoo let out another scream. This time you did the same. Then you started to cry, unable to control your emotions. Karina threw herself at you and hugged you with teary eyes. After you both calmed down, Sunwoo fried you two large portions of fries and left the place for a moment, pretending to have received a call.

“Y/n. I look at you…” “Terribly, terribly” “Yes, well. You’ve lost weight” You squeezed her hands tightly. Warm tears fell onto Karina's white hands.

“Sorry” “Stop it, it’s okay. Look at me” Karina took your face in her hands and forced you to look at her. Then she continued to speak. “It had to be this way. I was reborn from the ashes, okay? But I want you to do the same. Let’s help each other. We’ve been alone for too long and…”

Karina stopped to look at the road, her eyes shining. “I missed you. The real you is so annoying, sexy, and cute at the same time. I'm happy to hear you're well."

Karina then looked back at you and looked at the palms of your hands. “Come with me. I'm full of money. Let's run away from here, let's go where no one knows us" "Karina" "It doesn't matter if you tell me now. You destroyed my previous life though! I expect you to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together"

She made you laugh and you thanked fate for having met her. You gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. Karina looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you just kissing me back?” “Karina, there’s a time for everything” “You know, Y/n, I have a few things I need to tell you about myself. Did you know that I especially love dark chocolate and hate milk chocolate?”

“Karina,” you stood up from the stool and locked your eyes with his. "Tell me, Y/n" “We have all the time to learn to love each other” “And we have all the time to learn to live”

Sunwoo burst into the fast food restaurant, his eyes glistening with tears of joy. He couldn’t contain his excitement as he shared the incredible news: he had secured a role in a film directed by a renowned filmmaker. The moment was electric, filled with laughter and heartfelt congratulations as you both celebrated his achievement. Before leaving this familiar place, you and Karina decided to capture the memory with a photo at the very spot where your journey had begun. As the camera clicked, you were acutely aware that this moment marked a turning point. You stood there, smiling and cherishing the memory, knowing deep down that you were ready to embrace the future and leave the past behind, resolutely moving forward without looking back.

[revelboo]

revel i really love how everything you wrote is connected to eachother in some way its actually so satisfying to read from the very first post and read from there! feels like seeing the bigger picture!

I try to connect the IDW fics or TFP fics to each other when possible, because it makes it more fun for me. This one is a bit earlier than intended, but the reblog tags for the last Jazz bit were killing me 😭

Over It Now Pt 9

IDW Jazz x Reader

• Tracking your passage through the house, his optics follow as lights come on, go out until you reach your bedroom and then the house is dark and silent, leaving him with his thoughts. With his oldest and truest companion, self loathing. Your anger spreading like poison through him as he walks to sit under that ancient pin oak in your yard near your window, head tipped back to look at the hints of stars through the leaves and trying to remember before the war. Back when his smile hadn’t been just a convenient mask to hide behind, he’d been a musician. A singer. He’d been happy then, but it’s been a long time since he was that bot. Sometimes it feels like the memory of a ghost, a life that couldn’t possibly be his. Optics shuttering behind his visor, he tries to picture the street, busy with Cybertronians going about their day. The weight of an instrument in his hands, servos dancing over chords.

• Furious with Jazz and yourself, you lay there in the dark and stare at the ceiling. Wondering why you let him get under your skin when you know the likely outcome. If everything is a game to him, then getting close or allowing him close is only going to hurt you in the end. You know that. So why does that crooked little smile keep slipping into your head? You’re angriest because of how you’d felt when he’d held you like that, safe, precious, like you mattered and it hadn’t been real. Because you’re dumb enough to play right into his little game. At first, the sound is so low you almost miss it. Something aside from the hum of the ceiling fan. Singing, the sound so achingly lonely even as the words mean nothing to you. Sliding out of bed, you limp to the window and peek out through the blinds, spotting the glow of Jazz’s visor beneath the tree, his biolights faintly limning his frame. He’s making that bittersweet sound and even if you don’t understand the language, it’s so full of yearning that it hurts.

• It’s not the sort of songs he’d sang on the streets of Iacon or Praxus, something new. Pouring all the poison in him out into the quiet night, all the things he can’t say out loud. The hurt, the loneliness, and the need for someone to see him, to see past the shiny, smiling veneer and realize that no, he’s not okay. Hasn’t been for a long time. The song sinks its claws into him, a stream of longing and grief, every word a new chain pulling him down with their weight. Because no one really sees him. They never have. Their needs forging him into this so he can do what needs to be done. No matter the cost. A good little spy smiling instead of screaming. The touch of a little hand on his ped breaks him from the song, voice faltering. And you’re right there, head down. Crying as you lean on your crutches, crying for him because he can’t and no one else will.

• You can’t stop crying, because that song is a living thing twisting inside you, all sweetness and barbed wire. This is something real, not a lie and it hurts more than a song should. Then he’s leaning forward, a servo tipping your chin up and then sliding over your cheek. “Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to wake you,” he says voice low, big hand outstretched like he wants to pick you up, pull you into him again. But hesitating. And you grab onto his servos, letting your crutches fall as he catches you, lifts you to cradle against him, big hands tucking your little frame against the warm mesh of his neck. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to do this anymore.” Pressing your face against him, you’re not sure what he means by that. Maybe not lying. Maybe being real. But maybe you can help him figure it out.

Previous

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[wayfayrr]

hey uh. if requests r open. would it b possible to request a follow up to that self-aware-twi fic. if not thats ok i just wanted u to know i havent stopped thinking about it since i read it. altered my brain chemistry, touch-starved twilight princess link my beloved, etc etc. ur writing is top-tier <3<3<3

I think the best part about this ask is - I've had this written since early January. I actually wrote part two as a birthday gift for a good friend of mine @glowyskull <33

So this is more just me finally posting it sfbgdfbgdb. it's also funny to think that the twilight fic is my most popular fic now considering how the self aware au really started as just a really guiltily self indulgent fic - something fun to write that I didn't think could get as big as it did on my blog. and I'm glad that you liked it so much <333 whimpery touch starved twilight princess link is just so AUGH love him so

[masterlist]

“Oh you’re finally wakin up then darlin’.”

“...hmm?”

“C’mon darlin’, you can’t have forgotten what happened earlier already? Can you? Your fever - cold isn’t that bad so you can't have…”

Who’s rambling… and why does it sound so familiar?  Wait does that mean - is everything that happened earlier all real then, did link really crawl out of my tv just because he was lonely. Because I left him there, left him all on his own to rot in his own solitude. 

“Link? You - that - everything was real then? All of it?”

“All of it darlin’, from how I got out to how I’m never gonna leave ya.”

“Huh..? I could’ve sworn that you didn’t even mention anything like that…”

“Mhm, well you’re ill and still a little out of it darlin’ so you probably just forgot, you did agree though.” 

It does sound like something that I would agree to, I mean I’m the reason that he’s sentient. It would be cruel of me to throw him to the other wolves, he isn’t from here but besides even that, he isn’t from here. He doesn’t know how this world works, it would be worse than sending a dog to a shelter. It would be his death sentence for certain, and after all that I put him through for a simple pause in playing. The way he’s petting my hair like this though, it’s enough to simply just wash the rest of my worries away, if I could I would spend the rest of my life right here easily.  

“About your illness though, do you have any red potion anywhere?” 

“No, no things like that don’t exist here link and the painkillers I have aren’t worth moving for.” 

“If you’re sure… I’ll go and get them for you the second you change your mind.”    

“You don’t even know where I keep them.” 

His hand paused at that, causing me to let out an involuntary whine. I couldn’t even think to stop it with how it slipped out instantly, which he seemed fond of. Cuddling me closer to his chest and resting his head on top of mine, with what felt like a giant smile on his face. 

“I can look for them, It’s not like I won’t need to learn where everything is now that I’m living with ya… besides I’ve already put you through so much stress when you’re not well.”

“You didn’t mean to link, how could you have known I was sick?”

“...I don’t know - I just - it shouldn’t have been hard to know with how you looked when you opened the game. I’m sorry love I just wasn’t even thinking I just wanted to be out, but I should’ve been more considerate to you.”

With how silent he is in the game you could never have guessed how much he likes to ramble, it’s the second or third time it’s happened since he crawled out of the glas- the glass. Are his bandages holding up, he seems fine but he’s not from here, any infection could be deadly. He wouldn’t even see it coming with how much he’s fawning over my comfort right now. 

“Link?” “Yes, darlin’?”

Oh wow, he - well he’s whipped already. Is it real love or has all that time trapped alone twisted him into this. I’d look into getting him therapy but… if he mentioned the truth then it would be a matter of seconds until he’d be diagnosed with something inaccurate. No one. No one at all would ever believe that a video game character actually broke out of their game - especially not someone like Link falling for an exhausted student like me.

“Are you feeling alright? You have so many cuts and wounds right now.”

“It’s nothing that’s worse than anything else I’ve ever had. They do feel more real though.”

“...real?”

“They feel like real wounds, not something that could be healed away in seconds and they’re just tiny scrapes.”He sounds so giddy as he’s talking about being hurt - it’s unnerving when he starts holding me even tighter when he’s saying it. I don’t think I’m ever going to be getting away from him ever again… if I wanted to. Why shouldn’t I take a chance at having a relationship though. He cares about me - he really does even if it’s unhinged - it would be so nice to come home to him, to be able to spoil him and be spoilt by him. Even being held like this feels so unreal, so impossible that I shouldn’t be here with him. So much so that I want to stay here and fall back asleep without any argument. Didn’t he even say he wanted to be my lover? Why look over a gift too closely?

[pixiesfz]

p3 of this ….more jill next chapter I promise

lyrics more than words j.r x reader

plot: you get back into song writting after the incident

warning: mentions of sa and assault, it ends with us themed

She apologized.

She apologized a thousand times.

And for some stupid fucking reason you forgave her.

Why?

It could’ve been because you didn’t have many friends, she promised it was a one-time thing and it wouldn’t happen again.

You had no parents to go to.

It was a Thursday night, Ellie was opening the red wine to celebrate your eight-month anniversary but you didn’t find yourself excited. You sat on the ground of the living room, no matter how much it numbed your bottom half you hadn’t sat on the couch since the ‘incident’.

Ellie walked in with the wine and a charcuterie board you had made earlier and sat down on the couch behind you.  

“How was work?” You asked and Ellie played with your hair “The usual, clients lying and me having to cover up for them” She shrugged and you nodded.

“How about you?” Ellie asked and you thought about it.

You hadn’t had the most inspiration to write lately, at least the inspiration to write good songs, songs that weren’t filled with heartache.

“I’ve got a bit of writer's block at the minute,” you told her and she furrowed her brows.

Just listen to your old songs, you said that little things like that help” You nodded your head “Maybe”.

You tried.

Really fucking tried.

But it all leads to crying on your studio’s couch.

Listening to how much you once loved Ellie, trusted her, called her your home.

Now you dreaded going to her home, checked twice before she sat next to her and looked away once you told her you love her.

It wasn’t until you dug through your papers and found your old songs from high school you found the motivation to put your pen to a page.

The thoughts about your childhood, the love that you shared with Jill, the adrenaline that ran through you both when you ran away from your dates at the school dance to go into the only open classroom where you could still hear the music.

But then came the thoughts of sadness. You couldn’t hold her in public, or share kisses in the street. You couldn’t gush to your friends about her, the only person you could talk about Jill with… was Jill.

The whole ordeal was frustrating but when you thought back to it, you never regretted a single thing.

Your words wrote themselves on the page as you hummed a melody, this song was yours, and yours only.

You didn’t let anyone read it.

Not even Olivia who begged and begged, you hid it in your draw in your private office at the studio, it was reserved for no eyes but your own.

Now back into your groove, you watched as Ellie walked into your office with a bouquet.

Shocked you leaned back “Hi El, what are you doing here?” you asked and she shrugged “Just thought I’d say hi, you’ve been working hard and staying after hours” She smiled and you blushed.

It was a sweet gesture, and you hadn’t even noticed that everyone had left and you were the only one left.

“Well, is this for me?” you ask, pointing at the flowers and Ellie smirks “It’s actually for Olivia,” she says before you both laughed

“I just wanted to say I’m proud of you” she told you before handing them out “Let me grab a vase from the kitchen spot” you told her, placing a kiss on her cheek before leaving the office door.

Ellie looked around your office as you left, noticing a small key next to your keyboard, furrowing her brows she picked it up and looked around for a place it could go into.

You had always been trustworthy into the relationship and would always be loyal but ever since the game Ellie saw your eyes twinkle when Jill said hello to you.

She had never seen you look at her that way.

So she took it out on you that same night, she regretted it afterwards. When you forgave her she knew she had to keep you forever. You were hers.

When she finally found the keyhole at your desk she opened the draw to find pieces of paper with lyrics on it, a melody on the back.

‘secret love song’

Ellie annotated your writing as she read, this couln’t have been an old writing piece as your handwriting had changed and your writing was slightly mess, some of the letters connecting which meant you were on a roll, the feelings pouring out of you as you wrote.

Anger started to pour out of her, dropping the flowers onto your floor.

You walked in after and stopped at the door when you noticed what papers she had in her hands.

Fear washed over you.

“Ellie?” you asked, walking slowly to her, placing the vase down at your desk.

“When did you write this?” she asked and you panicked “Years ago” you shrugged and she placed it down “You’re lying”

You stepped back “Ellie-“

“Are you cheating on me?”

You rolled your eyes “no I am not cheating on you, this song is about something that happened years ago” you told her, ripping it from her hands.

It seemed to be enough reassurance for her since her shoulders sagged down “I just get self-conscious you know” she said and you nodded, stepping back from the girl.

You were scared

No.

You were petrified.

Stepping to the desk you grabbed the glass vase, putting it as far away as possible.

You looked from the vase and back to Ellie.

You shouldn’t have to stand with your partner and hide objects from them.

You had to leave.

[leonardalphachurch]

GOOGLE SEARCH: HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT

Lavernius Tucker and Oliver "North" Dakota are two single fathers forced to brave their most difficult challenge as a dad yet: making small talk with other parents. Not many survive this harrowing ordeal, but the bonds forged through this traumatic experience create lifelong friendships. Or, perhaps, even something more...?

A modern single dads Tucker/North AU written for @rvbrarepairweekdos Day 3: AUs. Warnings for discussions of sex/masturbation, but no actual sexual content.

I don't know why I wrote this, either. I don't even ship this. I suppose the wheel compelled me...

Also avaliable to read on Ao3.

***

“Sooo, uh, what do you… do with your time?"

“Oh, I’m a pediatric dentist.”

“No, I know that, I meant, uh,” This sucked. Tucker had zero things in common with these parents at this School for Gifted Children that had scouted Junior earlier this year. Most of them barely gave him the time of day, but this guy, Oliver Dakota, was insistent on staying the entire time his kid was hung out with Junior. After multiple false starts, Tucker shamefully ducked away for a second to look up ‘HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT’ and found, “I meant, what do you do with your free time?”

“Oh,” North smiled warmly at the other man, then looked back to the door to Junior’s room. Left open a crack— he would have preferred it to be open all the way, but Lavernius had insisted the kids be given privacy. He seemed like a genuine and nice man, if a little awkward. North appreciated him and Theta being allowed into his home. Still, he wasn’t that interested in talking; compromising on the door meant he needed to keep a closer ear out for if Theta needed him. “I don’t really have much free time. With a kid and work, it’s like two full time jobs. But it’s all worth it for Theta.”

“Right.” God, this guy was giving Tucker nothing. Every single topic went back to Theta. And Tucker loved his kid, but being a single dad meant so much of his life was already dedicated to him. If he was talking to another adult he at least wanted to talk about something adult for once. “You gotta do something with your time, though. You into sports?”

“Haven’t really kept up with any lately. Theta was on the soccer team when they were younger, but we’ve decided to focus on academics in middle school.”

“Okay… Watched any good TV lately?”

“I mostly just catch snippets of whatever cartoon Theta has on.”

“……..Do you play games?”

“Oh, Theta had me join them in playing a little farm game— what’s it called, star, starting… ‘Starting Farming?’ No, no, it’s definitely ‘star’… ‘Starry Farmy?’”

“Stardew Valley?”

“That’s it! Do you play it? It’s very cute.”

“Yeah, uh, not, really my type of game. What about stuff you do without your kid?”

“Ah,” That was kind of a strange question. Most conversations North had with other parents were all about their kids— mostly trying to constantly one up the other’s accomplishments. To ask about things that he did without Theta? Why did he even care about that? “Well, I read alone?"

“Awesome! What are you reading?” Tucker didn’t give a shit about books, but he would grasp onto literally anything this dude was offering.

“Mostly child psychology books. Though lately it’s been a lot YA novels. I try to read things Theta is interested before they do so we can have discussions about them. And to make sure there’s nothing too inappropriate for their age.”

Tucker was stunned. This guy could not be serious. Was everything about his kid? “Don’t you do things with your friends?”

“Ahh,” North’s smile got a little tighter. “We had to move away from my hometown a few years ago; the schools there weren’t great for Theta, and then they got accepted here…”

“You haven’t had friends for years?”

“I have friends.” North was taken aback. What kind of person asked something like that so bluntly?

“But you don’t spend time with them.”

“I… see them often enough. When I visit home. For the holidays.” North didn’t know why he felt so defensive over this.

“Do you…” Tucker hesitated, not wanting to overstep with a guy he barely knew but also fucking floored at what this dude’s life seemed to be, “do anything for yourself that isn’t about your kid?”

North balked. “Of course I do! And, the- this question is flawed. Taking care of Theta is something I do for myself.”

“You can’t just only live for your kid, dude. There’s shit you gotta do without them.”

North twitched a little at the swear word. “There’s nothing I want to do that I would need to exclude Theta from.”

“What about sex?”

“SHHHHH!!” North panickedly looked over at the door, “Lower your voice if you’re talking about that!” He half yelled, half whispered.

“Dude. Does your kid not know about sex yet??” Tucker asked, not lowering his voice even slightly.

“Of course Theta knows what sex is!” North said, still whispering. “Teaching age appropriate sex education is incredibly important to a child’s understanding of their own body and safety. Theta knows exactly what leading child psychologists recommended an 11 year old knowing.”

“Okay.” Jesus Christ. This dude needed help bad.

North frowned. He could feel the judgement coming from Lavernius. Other parents always thought they could butt into situations that didn’t concern them. “I do not need your input on how I take care of my child.”

“I don’t care about how you take care of your kid, man, I care about how you take care of your you.”

“What?” North had no idea what he meant by that.

“Have you had sex a single time since Theta was born?”

“What?!” Seriously, how could he just ask something like that?

“You know what, not even sex. When was the last time you jerked off? Please tell me you’ve had an orgasm in the past decade.”

“This- this is a highly inappropriate conversation to be having with our kids in the other room” North had no idea how they ended up here, but he desperately wanted to move on.

“Not even once?”

“I don’t want Theta to overhear this conversation.”

“They’re playing a game, they’re not gonna hear, trust me. Kids don’t listen to their parents talking even when you want them to, they don’t give a shit what adults say to each other.”

“Theta listens to me.”

“Uh huh.” They needed to move away from the topic of their kids. Tucker needed to help this man. “Listen to me, man. I need you to do something for me.”

“What?”

Tucker grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. Or at least, he tried to. God, this man was way too fucking tall. And actually looking into his eyes— Jesus, they were piercing. Tucker didn’t think this kind of blond hair blue-eyed motherfucker actually existed. Terrifying.

“Tonight, when you go home, once you do whatever weird nighttime ritual you do to put Theta to bed,” Oliver started to make a noise in disagreement but Tucker pushed past it, “I need you to go to your room. I need you to be alone. I need you to get comfortable. And I need you to jack off.”

North had no fucking idea how to respond to that.

“Trust me. I have a friend, his girlfriend died, right? And for like a year afterwards he was so fucking miserable. Until one day I was like, ‘You NEED to blow off some steam, if you know what I mean. Bow chicka bow wow.’ Next day he was like a new man.”

“I don’t. know.“ North thought there were probably some other reasons his friend may have been miserable, there.

“I know, you’ve been out of the game, you don’t know how to find good porn. I got you, I’ll send you some.”

“I wasn’t—“

“I got you.” Tucker was already pulling out his phone, thinking of some good beginner porn he could send Oli’s way. “What are you into? You seem kinda vanilla but sometimes vanilla looking chicks are into the weirdest shit, y’know?”

“That’s— I don’t— this isn’t— I’m. Gay.” That wasn’t really something North tended to share with other parents, but they were so far outside of the kinds of conversations he tended to have anyway, any normal ways to respond had completely left his brain.

“You’re—” Tucker looked him up and down. Huh. Maybe he should’ve been able to guess that. “Uh. That’s fine. I have gay shit I can send you.”

“You have gay shit.” Right. Okay. North was pretty sure he just swore for the first time in years. What the fuck was happening?

“Yeah, y’know, I’m… uh, it doesn’t matter what I am. But I can get whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Okay. North’s brain was starting to catch up to where they were. Was Lavernius… flirting with him? Was this what flirting was now? He was so lost.

He should probably set a boundary.

“I… do not want you to send me porn.”

“Okay,” Tucker said, putting his phone back in his pocket. “You got it handled yourself?”

“Yes, I,” North let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, “I can handle myself.”

“Good. ‘Cause the shit you were saying before was sad, man. I know we barely know each other but, c’mon, single dads gotta have each others backs, right?”

“Yeah, um. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Tucker smiled at him.

North liked his smile.

(continued in reblogs)

[yangkitties]

Cookies and Crazy ✩ l.fl

pairing: lee felix x gn!reader [established relationship] || word count: 0.9k genre: fluff || warnings: proof read but its been a while since i wrote this so it might be a shitty read sorry, mentions of food (this whole fic involves baking), you're gonna end up craving cookies so be warned synopsis: baking with your boyfriend on a free day seems fun... until he gets a little mischievous. note: yawl school has been INSANEEEE... and considering my jay fic flopped so hard i had to take a lil break :( but we're back in business baby 💪 plz feel free to send thoughts and asks mwah have fun reading :]

You were currently sitting on the desk beside Felix’s gaming set up, spinning on a swivel chair as you watched him play games with an expression of pure focus. His eyebrows furrowed slightly together, making the slit he had gotten recently disappear. Today, his freckles were on full display, making him look much more beautiful. Looking at him could have entertained you forever, but he was so close to you, just out of reach, you couldn’t help but want him all to yourself.

After a few more minutes, his face of concentration changed to a face of frustration. You knew this face, it meant he was loosing. He dejectedly tapped away, hoping he could save himself. Soon enough he lost, a cute pout adorning his lips. Before he could start another game though, you interjected. 

“Lix.” You bumped your chair to his, only to get a small ‘hm?’ out of him. ‘Lixxiiiieeee.’ This time you poked his arm. Still just a nod. ‘LEE FELIX YONGBOK!’ You yelled, pinching his arm. 

‘Ow, ow, ow, baby what is it?’ He questioned, pausing it before the game could start. ‘I’m bored.’ You pouted knowing he wouldn’t tell you off if you used your charm. 'N/N. Baby. Darling. Love of my life. What the fuck can I do about that?' He deadpanned, swivelling into gaming position again. Before he could start the game though, you plopped yourself on his lap, shaking your head. Felix finally realised how bored you were and gave you a ‘go ahead’ gesture, so you grabbed his mic and giggled out, ‘Sorry boys, Felix has to go now, see ya later!’ Before you completely quit the call you could here the boys whining but you couldn’t care less. 

‘Now, what do you want to do baby?’ Felix questioned, all his attention finally on you. His hand snuck under your hoodie (his to be accurate), softly massaging your hips. ‘I… actually don’t know…’ you huffed out, resting your head on his chest. ‘You’re bored but you don’t know what you want to do but still interrupted my gaming?’ He picked your face up, squishing your cheeks with his tiny hands. You tried to say yes but only a semblance of the sound left your lips. Felix giggled, shaking his head before completely embracing you.

After a couple of seconds, a loud growl erupted from your stomach ‘Uh…’ you frowned looking down at your belly. ‘You hungry love?’ You nodded, not knowing what else to do.

Felix straightened up suddenly, accidentally tipping you back and hitting your back against the desk. ‘Oh shi- sorry sorry. I just had a great idea!!!’ He exclaimed as he rubbed your back, hoping he didn’t hurt you too badly. ‘Well it better be worth the spinal damage you caused-’ You rolled your eyes and stood up, stretching to make sure everything was okay- ‘And what is this amazing idea Mr. Lee?’ 

‘We could bake cookies together!!’ Felix jumped up excitedly beside you, his trademark sunshine smile lighting up his entire face. ‘Bok. That’s the best idea you have ever had!’ you said laughing as you slung an arm around him and dragged him to the kitchen. 

Soon, you had soft jazzy music filling the kitchen and ingredients spread across the counter as the both of you started to make  cookies. 

As Felix set up the oven, you continue to mixed the cookie dough he had started to prepare earlier. You mixed the ingredients as fast as you could, hunger growing each second. 

Soon enough, a giggly voice bubbles up beside you, ‘No no N/n, you’re doing it all wrong!!’ Felix tsked, gently wrapping himself around you. Taking control of your arms, Felix starts to guide you. 

Goosebumps start to erupt all over you, quickly joined by a light pink dust and the feeling of warmth across your cheek. None of these developments go unnoticed to Felix, who decides to react with a deep chuckle. Low and smooth, his laughter lifts right into your ears, sending electrifying shivers down your body as your head flicks back to his shoulder. 

‘Anything wrong bub?’ Felix questions innocently, purposefully leaning over so now his face nearly directly in front of you. You huff, eliciting a deep rumbling laugh out of him as he goes back to directing you. 

Quickly you slip out of his embrace, grabbing a hand full of flour nearby and flicking it at him as revenge for getting you riled up. 

Now, there’s flour all over Felix’s apron, and an expression of shock on his face. Before you could react, Felix already has his hands full of flour and on your face, rubbing them all over. Within seconds, your face is covered in flour and the aghast expression on his face has been replaced by a cocky grin. 

‘Oh two can play this game,’ you say and grab his face, promptly kissing him all over his face and successfully transferring some of the flour from your face to his. Felix struggles to escape, sputtering as he frees himself from your grasp. 

You look each other up and down, bursting into laughter. Felix gently bumps his shoulder to yours, allowing you to rest your head on his. ‘We better finish this up.’ Felix points out, sighing. 

In silent harmony, you start to clean the flour and he starts to finish of the cookies. 

In no time you both have a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies resting on your lap as the both of you cuddle and laugh, still trying to pick out bits of flour from each other’s faces. 

©️ yangkitties 2023 do not copy, plagiarise, or repost

[bivwifeybunny]

I here by request Foolish fluff that can allude to smut!

Maybe reader has a headache and Foolish ends stream early to comfort her and she starts feeling better and then things lead into the bedroom..

(Also may I have permission to write the smut part? Like you put out the fluff and then I give the part 2 that’s smut 👀)

My Special Girl

Pairing(s): Foolish x reader

Warning(s): Cursing, alluded smut (actual smut in the part 2 hehehe 🤭), mostly just fluff tho

A/N: RAHHH I'm finally posting a fic after.... uhhh idk but a LONG time. haha... yeah sorry about that. but HEY it's a foolish fic and that's something new. shrimpy here convinced me to start writing for him (it wasn't hard since i cant say no to shrimpy lmao) but yeah, this is a little collab I did with her. so as said in the ask, she wrote part 2 with the actual smut. I loved writing this and working with her honestly. she helped with a couple questions I had and was really patient with me (i took 11 days to finish this lol rip) so would def do again. also my first collab? im so excited for y'all to read this. anyways this is getting long, enjoy and the link for part two is at the end.

You already felt it coming on. The tension building behind your eyes and the strain forming at your temples. But you’d be cruel to deny him when he looked at you with that cute pout. So you walked off, popped an ibuprofen and came back, sitting next to him as you watched him play some Minecraft.

However, the ibuprofen was definitely not enough. Thanks to his bright ass lights, the less than cozy screaming and yelling, and the eye strain from staring at the monitors, your headache began to worsen.

“I thought Minecraft was supposed to be a relaxing game.” You groaned, eyes squinted as you struggled to keep up with the pvp he was doing.

“Maybe it could be, if Richarlyson wasn’t being such a little bITCH!” Foolish screamed, resulting in another wince from you. His fingers darted around, clicking away as he chased after the little pixelated egg.

And then came the barking.

The back and forth, screaming, barking, with the added touch of his way too bright lights and the blue light from the monitors made you groan again. You leaned your head down, your hand covering your eyes, trying to find some relief. He was so excited to show you his progress on the titan, and you promised you’d at least stay long enough to see it, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could take this.

Luckily though, most of the screaming and barking stopped when Richas made a strategic retreat and teleported away. So you were able to look back at the monitor when he called your name.

“Okay, finally. Alright, alright, look.” Foolish grinned as he warped over to his titan build and began to glide over to it. “Now, I’m obviously not completely done but I’m so close, and I only really have- No, no, nO, NO!” He whined as a creeper dropped down next to him and exploded, ruining a part of the hand.

And unfortunately for you, that note struck the wrong cord and the pounding in your head grew past your limit. “Foolish, I’m gonna go lay down, okay?” You whispered, not only because of the throbbing in your head but also so his chat wouldn’t hear. You hurried off screen, heading back into his bedroom and crawling into bed after ensuring all the lights were off. You tossed the blankets over your head and buried your face into the cool pillow, hoping it’d ease the pain.

Meanwhile, as soon as you left, the doozers were all spamming things like “what happened to ___?”, “i dont think they were feeling well”, “they had their head down earlier”, “are they okay?” and so on.

Foolish, however, didn’t even glance at chat as he hurried off of Minecraft. “I think I’m gonna call it a day, guys. Sorry this was a shorter stream than usual.” He apologized for his 3 hour stream before quickly ending.

As soon as he was sure he ended, he rushed over to his room. He frowned at the dark room and the faint outline of your body curled up under the blankets. “Baby?” He called out quietly, climbing onto the bed next to you. He leaned over, propped up on his elbow and gently drew back the blankets. “What’s wrong?”

“Head hurts.” You muttered, eyes still shut tightly, jaw clenched.

“Aw, I’m sorry, honey.” He whispered softly, turning you to face him before rubbing his thumbs over your eyebrows, a silent instruction to relax from your tense position. “Should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have asked you to come on stream if I’d known you weren’t feeling good. Did you take anything to help it?”

“Just ibuprofen but’s not working.” You answered, leaning into his touch with a soft sigh, making him smile.

“Well, here. Why don't we try a bit of this?” Foolish mumbled, pulling you on top of him. “Where does it hurt?” He asked, to which you muttered, “My temples ‘nd behind my eyes,” snuggling into his warmth. He nodded, moving his hands to your head and beginning to massage your temples gently, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You sighed in relief, relaxing your stiff position even more as he rubbed away all the tension, humming in a soothing, soft tone. You stayed like that for a while, letting Foolish work his magic while you cuddled him close.

After a little while he kissed your head again and moved his hands away, hugging you instead. “Feel any better?”

“Mhm.”

“Good.” He smiled softly. “And I hope you know I’m going to absolutely clowned on by chat tomorrow and it’s all your fault.” He teased with a playful smirk.

“I say it’s worth it. They already get to spend way too much time with you as is. It’s about time I stole you away from them for a little while.” You laughed, lifting your head to look up at him before smirking. “But if you really want me to make it up to you, I have an idea in mind I’m sure you’d like.”

“Oh ho ho ho.” Foolish giggled excitedly, meeting you halfway when you leaned up to kiss him. “Don’t mind if I do…” He smirked into the kiss, flipping you over. “But since my baby was hurting, why don’t you let me take care of you?”

Part 2 :D by @mentallyillcrustacean

Taglist: @jordyncandy @foxilia @lacunaanonymoused @remiwastaken

Foolish taglist: none yet :)

[sylvesterelle]

Ode to Kate Laswell and her hot wife

I, a person who knows fuck-all about video games, have found myself totally enamored with several COD characters snowballing from one (1) compelling Tiktok edit. I then hallucinated an entire novel-length fic on a 12-hour drive to Colorado, which is new for me, and am now writing that fic for NaNoWriMo, which is also not a thing I’ve ever done before.

Naturally, in the middle of it I got distracted and wrote an entire teary 1.4k backstory chapter for Kate Laswell and her hot wife. They are very, very important to me.

Enjoy.

TW: Homophobic language, physical assault, WASP parents

“Are you sure she’ll be alright? I don’t know if I like the idea of her all alone up there with four strange men.”

Kate snorted, leaning down to press a kiss on her wife’s crown. They were curled together on their bed in their small, whitewashed cottage outside of Brighton. Close enough to London to get her anywhere she needed to be and far enough away that this space could just be theirs.

Well, theirs and Goose’s—their Bernese Mountain dog, dumb as a stick and the embodiment of everything good in Kate’s life. Even after the worst missions, she could come here and feel whole again, watching him play in the surf or dig potatoes in the garden, Bea crowing with approval as dirt caught all along his nose and paws.

Kate tugged Bea a little closer, reveling in her warmth. “You know she’s more than capable of protecting herself if she needed to. How many poisonous seedlings did you give her, again?”

“They have legitimate medicinal uses,” Bea grumbled, but dissolved into laughter when Kate pressed kisses wildly over her face. “Okay, okay! Mercy.”

Kate pulled back, tucking her wife securely under her chin. Breathed in the scent of lavender and other herbs that always carried in her hair and perfumed the house.

“I promise I would never put her in danger,” Kate said now, more seriously.  “And you know John nearly as well as I do now.”

Bea sighed, burrowing her face deeper into Kate’s neck, muffling her acknowledgement. “I know. It’s the others I’m worried about. Unknown quantities.”

“Known to me, love, I promise. It’s past time you met the rest of the lot—especially now they’re ‘officially’ considered KIA. Even if we sort this whole mess out, I can’t see a future in which they go right back to work for the SAS, no harm no foul.” She passed a hand over her lover’s hair, soothing. “They’re good boys, Bumblebee. You’ll like ‘em. Bit rough around the edges, but so was she when we found her.”

“You and your strays.”

“I was your stray once, remember?” Kate smiled at the memory.

Bea had found her wandering around Brighton Pride nearly two decades earlier, sheepish and awed, in England on temporary assignment. Just happened to be there in August, when hundreds of thousands flocked to the “queer capital” of the UK. Took one look at the reserved American and rapidly adopted her, welcoming into her home and her community and her bed.  

Kate had always known who she was. Knew when she played soccer in high school (“football,” she could hear Price’s phantom correction) and nursed an embarrassingly enormous crush on Hannah Wells, both center backs that were devastating when they took the field together.

Knew when she had her first kiss on her college dorm bed in Ithaca, just a shy press of lips over open poli-sci textbooks and highlighters, the call of the wood-thrushes pouring in through an open window.

Knew it when she tried to come out to her patrician mother and was told you can have your little indulgences, but keep it out of the spotlight. Wouldn’t want to risk your father’s reelection campaign, now would we?

The good senator was such a distant figure in Kate’s life—rarely home, cloistered in his study when he was—that she hadn’t bothered to try to tell him. Didn’t tell anyone for years after that, actually.

Not until a superior officer found her hiding a bloodied eye and lip and a few cracked ribs while returning to the Farm—the CIA training base in Williamsburg.

A group of rowdy men outside the bar hadn’t taken kindly to her attempts to brush them off. Had taken it worse when her temper flared (“What, you one of those fucking dykes or somethin’?” “So, what if I am, asshole?”).

She’d gotten in more than a few solid hits, but four-against-one were never good odds.

The officer who found her was on temporary assignment, an expert in clandestine intelligence assigned to teach recruits how to cultivate international assets. An intimidating man—tall and severe, face giving nothing away. He had ordered her to tell him what happened, didn’t let her wiggle away with half-truths.

Didn’t know what she expected when she finished—these were firmly the days of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

But the man simply nodded, finished cleaning up her wounds, then bundled her off to his small family off-base. Ignored Kate’s protests when he introduced her to his wife and young daughter as a guest who would be staying with them while she recovered and ambled away pleasantly any time she brought it up afterwards, looking for all the world like he didn’t hear her.

The six weeks it took for her ribs to heal were some of the happiest in Kate’s life. The man who had inspired terror among the new recruits became someone else entirely at home—boundless energy, easy to laughter, a smile that creased his eyes and caused a dimple to furrow one cheek when he danced his wife around the kitchen, crooning in her ear.

She was Russian, to Kate’s complete surprise, though well-practiced in disappearing her accent outside of those walls. She was a total firecracker with a wicked sense of humor and Kate maybe, possibly developed a huge hero-worship crush on her, enamored as much with her wide, freckled face and gap-toothed smile as she did the eleven languages she spoke.

Never learned the details at the time, but Kate knew she was much more than the stay-at-home mother she pretended to be—only years after her death found out the true breadth of what she and her husband were working on. But the love in that little family was no cover, and the little girl was at the center of it all.

Kate had never wanted children of her own, never even considered it, but she grew undeniably fond of the little troublemaker over those weeks. The kid was a cornucopial life-affirmer, running full-tilt at the world while the rest of them chased after her.

Her mom joked that she had been born laughing instead of crying, and her father insisted it was true. He would know; she had her mother’s eyes and penchant for freckles, but her smile and her laugh were all her dad’s. Her talent for “adventuring” herself out of the house to be found up trees and inside goat pens and once even wandering around on base after hiding in the car trunk, well. That was probably a bit of both of them.

God, Kate missed them. Missed her. Hadn’t seen her nearly enough lately, nowhere enough to make up for all those years she lost, gone so thoroughly to ground that not even Kate could find her. And even after, she hadn’t often seen her happy—not in the way she always imagined that scraped-knee little adventurer should be.

The way she would be again, if Kate had anything to say about it.

“I know you’re worried love, but I think this will be good for her—for all of them. She’s been alone too long and needs more in her life than just her father’s old friends, his old projects. They need a place where they can remember how to be more than soldiers. Remind themselves what they’re actually fighting for.”

Kate buried her nose in her wife’s silky strands, inhaling deeply once more for strength.

“I almost lost them all, Bea. I knew John was running himself and his team ragged, that they’d forgotten they weren’t just bodies to be thrown at a problem. I should have put a stop to it long before—.”

Well, long before she had to spend 72 hours scrambling to put together a covert rescue. Not knowing who to trust, forcing herself not to wonder every second if they were alive or dead, bodies crushed beneath a mountain.

“I know my love, I know,” Bea soothed, running a hand against her wife’s back, gentling her. “But they’re safe now, you saved them. You saved them.” She hummed into Kate’s throat, biting a little when her wife squirmed at the ticklish sensation.  “You know, I find I’m rather attracted by your silly, audacious, dare-I-say optimistic plan.  Now stop sniffing my hair and come and kiss me,” she ordered.

Kate was only too happy to comply.

[empresstheresa-guide]

Theresa and Steve, a love story for the ages.. part 3 B

Recap: Theresa has been dating Jack for a few months. She doesn’t actually care about him and has no long term plans. But one day, she walks into Jack’s room and finds he has a hometown girlfriend he never mentioned to Theresa. Humiliated, Theresa goes into her room to wait for Jack. She puts on an extremely short sexy dress to taunt him.

Steve walks in instead and they share a passionate kiss, despite never interacting before. Theresa then tells Jack’s girlfriend Ginny that they weren’t compatible anyway, and she feels bad for Ginny who is only a waitress. 

BUT all of this was scrapped. Norman wrote three completely new versions, so let’s look at those. 

VERSION 3

This version begins with Theresa donning the ”little black nothing dress” again, so I won’t rehash it. Check part 3 A. 

”It was now nearly nine o’clock and I was near tears.  There was nobody around here who cared for me. There wasn’t one person I could walk up to and call ‘friend’ to their face.”

The more I quote from the book, the more it stands out that Norman often uses the same word twice in one sentence. It doesn’t really matter what time it was, you can just say the evening was wearing on and you were near tears. (Norman also loves exact numbers with distance, time, age etc.) I think the quotation marks around ”friend” are unnecessary, since ”friend” is not a nickname or euphemism, but that’s a minor point. 

Steve enters the room again.

”He walked up close to my desk and said, “Ginny is Jack’s hometown girlfriend.  They’ve been seeing each other for years.  She was supposed to show up next week but she came early.”

      So.  It was going to be all over anyway. 

      “Did you know about her?”

      “No. None of us did.”

Norman actually considered the fact that a Good Catholic Boy wouldn’t just let Jack have two girlfriends, kudos for that. But how does Steve know Ginny was supposed to come next week then? Norman has also changed the punctuation. I think the lonely ”so.” sounds off, but I like it better than the exclamation point. 

This is the last you’ll hear of Jack and Ginny in this version. No more compassion for the lowly waitress.

”Have a seat.”  I indicated the bed.  He sat down on the edge of it.  We looked at each other.  I must have looked pretty sad after a miserable evening.  I sensed that he was aware of how lonely I’d been, but somehow I didn’t mind his knowing.”

I guess this makes sense, she doesn’t mind being vulnerable in front of him. But the way it’s phrased isn’t great. He’s not some psychic for realizing she’s sad. It would be expected in this situation. 

”Anything going on in the dorm?”  I suggested.

       “There’s an all night card game.”

What about all the homecoming week activities mentioned earlier? 

  ”     I heard about the boys playing cards all night.  You would think something exciting was going on, but all they did was throw cards around.  There was no intelligent conversation possible when all you did was look at your cards.  Why did they do it?”

My theory is that Norman walked in on a card game, and everyone fell silent because no one likes him, and they just wanted him to leave. So now he thinks that playing poker is just people silently staring at the cards. 

”  He glanced at my legs.  My hemline was practically up to my hips when I sat down.  Nothing excited boys more than a shirt skirt.  Bikinis didn’t do as much. ”

Who needs a bikini if your dress is THAT short? 10 inches above the knee is basically a bikini when you sit down.  

”  “You’re quiet, Steve.  Something on your mind?”

      “Yeah. I’m trying not to think about what I might see.”

       “I’m wearing a thong.  You won’t see anything but my hip.”

       “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.”

Oh Norman. Do we really have to talk about Theresa’s underwear? Isn’t she sexualized enough already? I just don’t understand this dialogue, either. If she’s wearing a thong and a 10-inches-above-the-knee dress, then Steve would pretty much see everything. And the dialogue is inorganic too, who would ever say that about her hip? 

I can just imagine Norman sitting alone in his sad little room, staring at his Windows ME computer screen, trying to come up with romantic dialogue for 17-year-olds. I feel kind of bad for him, but as I always remind myself, he’s a complete douchebag who treats everyone like trash. 

  “You’ll get used to me soon, Steve.  We have to get over this awkward moment.”

More unnatural dialogue. Nothing makes a moment more awkward than stating that it’s awkward. They never talked to each other in private before, so it’s bound to be awkward. 

So Jack doesn’t come to Theresa’s room, nor do they go downstairs to deal with the situation. Theresa and Jack are just over and she’s ready to move on with Steve. Good Catholic Girl(tm).

”The feelings of an eighteen year old boy in this close encounter weren’t hard to guess.  I felt safe. There was no way he was going to try to take advantage of me like some boy who would keep trying to get something that wasn’t his right.”

Steve has a giant boner. But if she’s supposed to be with Jack, is it his right to even be there? 

”Anyway, I could throw him out the window.”

I do kinda like this sentence. I wish there was more HAL and her superpowers in this chapter, because it seems unlikely that she would just ignore that whole part of her life. How about if she suddenly did something with her super strength? Or if Steve/Jack noticed she gives off heat? 

Next, Theresa decides to show Steve a TV series about Queen Victoria. More on that later.

VERSION 4

This version is identical to version 3, except the whole ”a nice hip it is I’m sure” thing is left out, and instead Theresa notes:

”I stood up and reached for a deck of DVDs high on my bookcase. Steve must have had a great view of my backside.” 

This is at least better than that awful dialogue, but Norman manages to sexualize Theresa again. Why doesn’t she just change clothes, if the dress was only a way to get back at Jack? Clearly Norman wants Theresa to be as sexy as possible, and it’s gross.

VERSION 5

And now for the worst, most stinking heap of them all. Prepare to hear Theresa’s and her Dad’s thoughts on a film from the 1950’s. 

”I waited a few minutes. There was no knock on the door.  I sat on the bed and turned on the television.”

And here, the action screeches to a halt (ha, I almost wrote HALT) while Theresa watches TV. 

”They were showing the early part of “The Caine Mutiny”.  I’d seen it before.”

If a 17-year-old girl turned on the TV and a 1950’s movie was on, she would instantly change the channel. It could work if this was a hobby of hers, like she's an old timey movie buff who prefers old stuff to new teen movies. But that's not how it comes across here. Norman wants us to know what he thinks of the movie, so it’s included, even if it makes no sense whatsoever. 

Unless there's some deeper connection between "The Caine Mutiny" and this story that I'm missing here. If you can think of something, I'd love to hear it.

” Captain Queeg was a paranoid personality who couldn’t take adversity.  It made him a dictator on the ship.  He made his men miserable with his inflexible demands.  Later,  there would be an ultimate crisis,  a monstrous typhoon that threatened to sink the ship.  That’s when the Captain lost it and his chief mate Maryk took over the ship on the grounds that the Captain was nuts.  As a reward for his courageous saving of the ship, Maryk was put on trial for mutiny.”

I'm not familiar with the story, so I don't have a lot to say on that. I will say that by Norman's standards, this isn't too bad. In fact, it's fairly coherent for him. But I'm confused by the verb forms here. We start with "was" and "made", then there "would be" a crisis, that's when the Captain "lost" it. It's a bit of a mess. Also "the captain was nuts" just sounds dumb and doesn't go with the style of the paragraph.

”My dad who’d been in the Navy read the book and said half of it was about a love story between Ensign Keith and a girl who wanted to be a singer.  Eventually her career took off and she left the Ensign.  Dad guessed that this boring love story meant something to the author, but it dragged down the book.  The movie producers wisely dropped the singer’s story and concentrated on the mutiny. It worked because the chief mate’s willingness to sacrifice his career to save the crew was a very effective love story of sorts.”

”Dad guessed”… that phrase alone should have told him this isn’t a good idea. At least have Theresa herself read the book. I just cannot imagine a situation where a teen girl listens to her dad talk about a 1950’s movie/book, and then later recounts his opinion on it. She’s writing this 600 years in the future, too. She wouldn’t even remember what her father said, unless it was very meaningful for her life.

Here’s the thing about her dad: all we learn about him is that he was in the Navy. This was already mentioned in chapter 1. He has one indirect line. ”He said I had to be the captain of my ship, but sometimes the seas would be rough”, which again relates to him being in the Navy. That’s his whole personality. He’s like a cardboard cutout with a navy uniform. Imagine your daughter writing an autobiography and only mentioning your job. I would be crushed if I were her dad. See also her sister Catherine, whose only quality is being less smart than Theresa. If your family is so close knit and loving, you need to express that in some way. Every relative would hope to be in the book, and they’d all be so disappointed they didn’t make the cut, and instead Theresa talks about some boy she doesn’t even care about. Norman, of course, never considered this. 

Back to the story, I’m definitely not surprised Norman thinks love stories are boring… and he says that while trying to write one. You need to read a lot if you want to be a writer. Norman thinks he can just write the best thing ever, without doing any research. It’s like he’s building a house, when he has never seen one in his life. 

”   I noticed something similar in a book called “The Robe” which my grandmother gave me.”

Oh god. Instead of getting on with the story, Norman digs out another musty old book. 

At least here, Norman had some inkling that maybe a teen in 2017 wouldn’t have read a book published in 1942. So fair save with the grandmother, but it’s still unlikely that Theresa would have cared about the book this much. 

” It was written by a Methodist minister who filled it with quotes from the Bible.  It was a spectacular bestselling book in World War II when the world looked like it was falling apart, but it would probably bomb today. ”

How does Theresa know what the world was like post-World War II? 

” In the Hollywood movie starring Richard Burton, all the Bible quotes were dropped, and they concentrated on the conflict between Burton and Caligula.”

I assume Burton is the name of the actor, while Caligula is the name of the character. Norman doesn’t really explain the story, but hey, who hasn’t read ”The Robe”? It’s one of the big ones, right up there with ”Harry Potter”. Every young person loves ”The Robe”. 

Norman gave more of a recap on the story of ”The Caine Mutiny”, but this book is much more obscure, and he doesn’t even bother describing it. 

” But Burton and his girl marched off to martyrdom from a more dramatic Emperor’s throne room scene than was in the book.  Sometimes subtle messages work better than speeches.”

If I was more dramatic, doesn’t that mean it was less subtle? 

”    That’s how I operate.  I could have criticized Jack in front of his friends for dating me without telling about Ginny, but I said nothing.  I let people think it out for themselves. ”

Well, it was pretty obvious to everyone. Norman is trying to force a connection between his story and this review of two very old movies, but it doesn’t work. Theresa not confronting Jack is just bad writing. If she’s so subtle and says nothing, why even include the story in this book? She could have ignored Jack altogether, they dated for like a month and she didn’t care about him at all. Obviously she wants the readers to know how she was wronged by Jack, but that ruins this whole point. She’s furious and nonchalant at the same time. It doesn’t make sense. 

” The movie ended with the Caine sailing back out to sea.  Ensign Keith was the only officer of the original crew left after the devastating trial.  ”

Just when you think it’s over, they pull you back in. 

”  The next movie was one of those horrible made-for-TV -walking-dead movies. I couldn’t stand them and turned off the TV.  The problem with that trash is it didn’t address an individual’s decisions in life.  It was insulting to avoid challenging the viewer’s ideas as if his ideas didn’t matter. ”’

That last sentence just reads like world salad to me. And thanks for that opinion too Norman, what a scintillating chapter about Theresa’s love life. 

Zombie movies - ”The Walking Dead” being only one franchise - are usually about humanity and the collapse of society. What kind person would survive and how would it change them? What would I be willing to do to survive? It’s thought provoking. Maybe Norman has only ever seen one really bad zombie movie. But this is all consistent with his baseline of scorn and belittling other people’s work, while admiring his own. 

Does Norman think ET addresses people’s decisions in life? Of course he does.  

”At least in ‘The Caine Mutiny’ you were challenged to think whether you would have the courage to take over the ship like Maryk. If you were a real thinker, you’d consider why the Navy didn’t look into the circumstances of the monsoon scene before rushing into putting Maryk on trial. Apparently nothing had been said before the trial.”

Oh man, I feel like this will never end. Your character is having a crisis and all she can think of is ”The Caine Mutiny”. If it was at least a teen movie about cheating, it would make some sense. Have her ponder on Team Edward or Team Jacob. (Since some of this was written in the early 2000’s and also I’m old and can’t think of a more recent example, but almost anything would be better.) 

Of course, Norman isn’t ”a real thinker” by any stretch. Those questions could be asked in a high school English class. 

”I stared at my roommate’s wall.  There was nothing to do and I was milking my loneliness.”

You could go downstairs and confront Jack. That’s something to do. Theresa loves to wallow in self-pity, this will be a theme later in the book. 

” People who never went to college believed it was one continuous party. In fact, parties were rare […] College life was mostly studying and killing time with inane activities.  It was a test.  If you could stand this life for four years you could stand anything. A lot of kids went nuts and dropped out.”

She just said a few pages ago that there were lots of activities on campus that weekend. I thought Norman liked Boston College and specifically wanted to advertise it in this book, but here he depicts it as mind-numbingly dull. 

”  After half an hour moping on my bed I moved to my desk and resumed moping. ”

I love this quote. She’s moping, quits for a second, and then resumes moping.

” The truth was I was desperately lonely.  I thought of going downstairs to see what was going on, but after the scene in Jack’s room my loneliness would be too obvious. I still had a little pride.  It was amazing how quiet it could be on the girl’s floor.  That was another thing people got wrong.”

How would Norman know how quiet or loud it is in the girls’ dorm? 

I actually sort of feel for Theresa.. until Steve walks in again.

This part follows the earlier version, where Steve explains the Ginny situation. There is, however, a new addition:

 “You’re quiet, Steve.  Something on your mind?”

      ‘Yeah.  You want me to leave?”

      “If you leave now I’ll have to kill myself.”

      It took a few seconds before Steve got the joke and laughed. The ice was broken and we each had that little smile of people comfortable in their situation.”

That’s a joke?? Suicide is a joke? Wow, Norman. This book is supposed to have a positive message and provide a good role model for readers. So girls, just remember that if things are awkward, you should make jokes about suicide! 

Jack is still technically her boyfriend and nothing has been resolved. How are Theresa and Steve already comfortable together? They haven’t even really talked to each other before. We know they haven’t, because if they had, Norman would have written a long description of it. 

”Next came planning the night’s campaign.”

They sit in her room and watch DVDs. It’s not like she’s running for office. 

”    I stood up and reached for a deck of DVDs high on my bookcase.  The DVDs were of the famous BBC production series ‘Victoria’.”

Apparently, Norman realized the note about her backside wasn’t appropriate. But the ”Caine Mutiny” bit was still worse. 

”Victoria” is actually an ITV show. Norman probably thinks BBC is the only broadcasting company in the UK. The show came out in 2016, so we can assume this happens in ca 2017-18. Were DVDs still a big thing then? Streaming services were already available. Although I guess if you lived in the US, you were unlikely to have British shows in your streaming services. Maybe it makes sense.

”An eighteen year old girl becomes queen of England and the British Empire.  Everybody wants something from her. She survives eight assassination attempts. You wonder how a teenage girl got through it. You wonder if you’d have the nerve to take on what she did.”

Laying the foreshadowing way too thick here. We get it, Theresa has to take responsibility at age 18. She tells Steve what he will think of the show, before they even start watching it. Theresa and Steve often work as a hivemind who has the same ideas of everything.

”Victoria’ was made for the English who already knew the story. It was very complicated with rapid changes from one subplot to another. I had to explain the characters and their motivations.  Steve seemed interested.”

He was probably just thinking of her dress and thong. It’s also oddly random that they start watching DVDs instead of going downstairs and dealing with Jack. It’s almost like he never existed. 

British people on Twitter confirmed that they do not, in fact, already know everything about Victoria, so the show couldn’t be that obscure. I wonder if Norman saw one episode and couldn’t really follow it. 

”We both marveled at the responsibility the girl took on.  She could have withdrawn in her castle and ignored everything going on in the world. She went out to be seen by the people despite assassination attempts and made heavy decisions like sending a band of traitors to Australia instead of letting them being drawn and quartered. ”

That last sentence desperately needs some punctuation. This is one of the most boring chapters, half of it is just recounting old shows and historical events. I preferred the version where Steve passionately kisses Theresa out of nowhere. It was bad but at least there was a story. 

”Her uncle was next in line if she abdicated.  He did maneuvers to bring this about. The girl queen told him, “I have made mistakes and perhaps I will make more, but I’m a better monarch than you could ever be.” I wondered if I could do as well at her age.”

He makes the same point again! And it wasn’t even subtle the first time. Norman clearly sees no difference between Victoria, who was an actual queen and a real person, and his fantasy ”Empress” Theresa, who only exists in his head. She’s not even a real empress, they just call her that for no reason. Well, at least ”Victoria” didn’t come out in the 1950’s, and is slightly more relevant to Theresa’s story. 

THE GRAND FINALE 

We’re near the end now. Forget about the part where Theresa and Steve go downstairs. This time they stay in her room all night. This ending is the same in versions 3-5. 

”We took two breaks during the night to go downstairs and get little snacks out of the food machine. Some people saw us at two a.m. which was sure to start rumors. By daylight we were giggling from fatigue.”

She’s OK with rumors.. more on that in a bit. Imagine watching DVDs all night, with the other person explaining every detail while you’re watching. I would have fallen asleep at some point.

” We went to breakfast. I was still wearing my little black nothing dress which stood out at breakfast.”

Two sentences ending in ”breakfast”. 

Why does Theresa act like this? It’s like she wants people to gossip. 

 ”It was obvious from our demeanors that we’d been up all night. Girls gave us the eye. I didn’t care. Let them think what they wanted.  We hadn’t done anything we couldn’t tell our parents.”

Theresa doesn’t care about her reputation.. but later in the book, she says she kept herself clean, because she knew one day she would be world famous. In a story where government agents spill confidential information to other nations, she doesn’t worry about other students telling the press about this. It would be a scandal. Good Catholic Girl dated two boys at the same time! 

”Nosy girls filled our table and asked what we did all night.

      “Nothing” I said.

      “Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, Theresa!”

Great writing there with so many rrrrrrrrrrrrrr's. It's like a teenager's writing. "OMG I loveeeeeeee this song!" Norman will occasionally use inappropriate numbers of letters or punctuation to make a point. e.g.

”There must have been a lot of panic.  ‘Theresa Hartley’s plane is missing!!!!!’ 

And if you're going to use it, it should be "suuuuuuuuuure", not "surrrrrrrrrrrre". Norman never sounds out his dialogue.

Back to the scene:

      Steve joked, “The video is on YouTube”.

For once, Steve’s joke isn’t that bad. Norman has heard of YouTube, I’ll give him a point for that. He did get upset at KrimsonRogue and said that KR would soon be forgotten, while ET would be known forever. 

But why is Theresa so OK with people gossiping about her? She herself makes nasty comments about ”bad girls” in the book, and puts herself above them. These are mostly in the old versions. 

Chapter 1 (older edition):

”A lot of people said I was the girl who had it all together or my story would have been very different.  Perhaps it was because of what I didn’t do as much as what I did.  I tried to be a good girl. 

I had good parents.  By the time I was ten they convinced me I should get myself through the school years without drug or boy problems.  There are girls like that, you know.  You wouldn’t think so to look at the news.  I find it strange that people are interested in news about troubled girls, but don’t want to associate with them.”

But by this definition, isn’t Theresa a ”troubled girl” now? She’s taunting boys with an extremely short skirt, and spends all night in her room with a boy, even if she doesn’t actually have sex with him. Even sitting right next to him in your sexy thong-dress is something a Good Catholic Girl would not do. What would her parents think of it? Norman’s obsession with sexualizing Theresa, while still presenting her as some kind of pure Madonna figure, just backfires.

Chapter 8 (older edition): 

”In college I heard talk of a girl who had four intimate boy friends who knew about each other and what was going on.”

So they had a consensual poly relationship. I guess in Norman’s head, that’s as bad as cheating on someone. 

”A couple of other girls took a vacation in Barcelona, Spain where young studs waited for American girls at the airport.  The girls had wild orgies where nobody knew them, and when they got back home they could pass themselves off as virgins.  This was not the conversation I wanted to be part of.  I didn’t have steamy sex stories about myself like many of the girls.”

Girl reading ET: ”Mommy, what’s a stud? What’s a wild orgy? What are steamy sex stories?”

I’m amused at the idea of Spanish guys waiting for American girls at the airport. There are plenty of beautiful young girls in Spain. But I digress. The point is that there are ”bad” girls and Theresa clearly looks down on them.. but she ruins her own reputation with no care in the world. It’s not a ”steamy sex story” per se, but if everyone assumes she had sex with Steve, she’s right up there with those ”bad” girls.

This is one big issue with the book: Theresa often does not live according to her stated values. She just does whatever and we’re supposed to support her, and not only that, but admire her. She’s a good girl, despite wearing a 10-inches-above-the-knee dress to arouse boys, and walking around in that dress at breakfast. She seems to be reveling in her own beauty and sexiness, which is not a very likable trait, and makes it harder to relate to her. 

And then the conclusion of the story. 

”We suddenly had lots of friends. An attractive couple was invited to everything.”

Was Jack unattractive then? We never did get any description of his looks. At least he didn’t have red hair and glasses, like Jeff Winslow. 

Theresa makes two jabs at Jack later in the book, when she gets rich. It shows how petty and vindictive she is. In case you didn’t know, she’s also very greedy and hogs natural resources to make ludicrous sums of money. 

Chapter 14: 

”Total sales of my gold and silver reached more than a billion dollars a week and was climbing fast. This might taper off after a while, but in less than a year I would be richer than some small countries.  Theresa calling Jack.  How are you doing with Ginny?”

Chapter 16: 

”Corporations were already blabbering about all the things they could do with the metal.  Within a month I was a billionaire.

      I wondered what my old BC boyfriend Jack Koster was thinking of all this!”

Norman either forgot he already said this, or he thinks it’s such a great point, he should mention it twice. It makes Theresa look so bad. She didn’t even care about Jack, it’s her ego that’s bruised, and if she didn’t let this go in 600 years, she never will. Even if she’s happily married with her soulmate and has 420 children. (Yeah) She can’t help but remind Jack of what he lost.. even if their relationship was never meant to last anyway. 

Part 4 will feature Norman’s discussion of their relationship. If you want something romantic, you will be disappointed. It’s mostly reiterating over and over that they’re sooo compatible and that they waited for marriage. 

[survivor-marieta-islands]

Episode 12: "might get idoled out for fun tonight"—Amy

Raffy

So an hour before tribal, Colin and I discovered that Hairie had an idol. So we managed to pull in Zo and Amy to try to send Hairie home with an idol in his pocket. We didn’t wanna tell Jinx because Trinica had told me that Jinx was the one who gave coins to Hairie. And we get that Jinx was too close to Hairie and would rat out the plan. The problem is that Hairie was asked a question about his idol, revealed it, and promised to play it. Also Adeline self-voted which means we never had a chance to vote any other way. Perfect storm of bad things happening. I still voted for Hairie when I really should’ve just voted for Adeline. And now I’m in hot water with Jinx because I think they figured that the old schoolers left them out. And I’m in hot water with Hairie. So now I’m working overtime to fix things. Idk if I can repair my relationship with Jinx because Zo or Colin could easily rat out that it was my plan (which is a half truth since it was Colin’s too). And I gotta re establish a relationship with Hairie. And I upset Trinica a little for not telling them. A whole mess. So now my plan is to just cry my eyes out and vote out Arvin as an easy vote so I can skate by another round. Here’s hoping things go well lol. Trinica, Colin, and I re established our connection and allegedly want to get to F6 with our most loyal allies (Brandi, Zo, and Amy respectively). I don’t know how much I trust that to happen but I do know I need to hide behind Trinica for the time being.

Arvin

I like this immunity challenge since it's so chill, we don't have to do stuff, we just need to answer questions. I didn't win immunity and I know that my name would be written again. I could be voted out tonight but I'm gonna give them a fight.

Trinica

Jay won't give us real touchy subjects so I'm doing my own to channel my rage at being left out of the vote. 😤

Biggest Snake: Raffy/Colin

Biggest Move: Hairie announcing and playing his idol even though he didn't need to.

Biggest Blindside: all the people on Old School claiming they want to work with me then lying about the vote

Biggest Flop: Adeline's self-vote; Colin wasting their extra vote

Most Vengeful: Trinica

Amy

It's the way Brandi told me earlier that hairie bought all that 🤣 whoopsies I forgot. Doomed plan from the start. I wish I had thrown a vote on trinica like I KNEW hairie wasn't going anywhere so it wouldn't work then Adeline really said lmao what if I self voted 🤣 and Colin wasted the extra vote SILLY GOOFY ROUND INDEED

Anyway had I just said "what if no" to the plan i would have been sitting pretty in this game but here we are ahahahahahaha I hope that was entertaining

Also I feel like the ppl I voted with think I wrote the question directly to hairie but it was Brandi but when I was immediately like I bet it was Brandi! I simply forget I think Brandi might actually tell me stuff she doesn't tell other ppl? Idk 🤣 silly silly little me. Anyway gonna sit back and hope the next round is trinica hairie or Arvin 🤠 and not me

Brandi

The way I accidentally forced an idol play I think??????? Holy crap- my mind

Amy

Tbh if trinica doesn't win this whole thing I'll be shocked. Idk how there could be numbers to get them out and everyone reports to them lol. If the season title isn't changed to "trinica said" then it's not a true representation of the season lol

Brandi

I’m feeling panicky realizing like.. we are mid game

Amy

The reason I love text chats is I can just scroll to know trinica either lied Saturday or is lying now lol

Anyway I'm going to stir stuff up bc I'm bored and I want a hairie trinica fight lol also idk when this game ends but I'm traveling to Europe next week?

Turns out what if we just vote everyone out? Maybe then I will know peace 🤣

Brandi

Hairie to Amy: I only asked you and Brandi for coins because I wanted to see if you could be trusted. I already had the coins I needed. I only asked you two!

The 4 individuals he asked for coins, also affectionately known as Hairie's Coin Purse: 👁👄👁

Amy

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Y'all are entertaining me that's for sure thank YOU

Brandi is so FUNNY 🤣 Me: Wait so he didn't just ask us for coins like he was still telling me this morning lol tbh I'm tired of the lies about the coins this is silly no wonder he wants to leave it in the past

Brandi: omg did another person come forward and say he was asking for coins? Me: I mean- Yeah lol jinx said they talked about it w you? Lol Brandi: Trinica talked about it with me! Me: Jinx said you directly asked them about the coins lol

silence 🤣 Like jinx literally had just told me Brandi had asked them directly 🤣 I know I'm so out of the loop in this game that it's FUNNY the game of telephone. Also lol I told Trinica "not another"trinica said" 🤣🤣🤣" and they were like lol I did say that and they confirmed they all knew about the coins collectively so confirmed raffy's plan really was so silly 🤣 but!!! If I can continue to be absolutely clueless I can maybe survive a few rounds because trust me I am 🤡🤡🤡🤣🤣🤣 but we're having FUN and I'm entertained 🤣

Trinica

GODDDDD YOU'RE ALL ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!

The only people not annoying me rn are Jinx and Brandi and Arvin. And Arvin isn't annoying me only because he literally never talks.

Also for all of you reading this later, saying Arvin is my "little pet" is so dehumanizing and rude and icky!!! Don't talk about my sweet prince who never talks to me that way!!!!

Anyway uhhh okay context: Amy is being newly messy, Hairie is always messy (king), and idk who to trust. At this point I would happily vote out Raffy (but can't bc he's immune), Amy, or Colin because all of them lied to me last round and are generally sneaky and messy.

Also, can I just say....everyone keeps throwing "well you lied about the AJ vote" in my face like Y'ALL!!!! Were you openly working with AJ?? NO!! It's not like I targeted someone's known ally the way they targeted Hairie! It's not on the same level at all! ALSO THAT WAS RIGHT AFTER MERGE HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO I COULD TRUST WITH INFO!?!?!? Like you wanted me to successfully idol someone out by telling half the tribe what I was about to do? GOD FORBID A NONBINARY WOMAN HAS ONE (1) SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a different situation than lying to someone you've been working with for several rounds!!

Anyway I'm in my unhinged era

Amy

Me: what if we voted hairie? All: I've only heard Arvin Me: same but 👀 what if 🤠 All: let me know if you hear a second name

💃🏻 Slay

Trinica

I thought I would wake up in a better mood but NOPE!! Still rotten!!!

Today my annoyance is that Amy and Raffy are like "waaah last round you agreed to vote out Arvin next!" I'm sorry, why am I being held to an agreement I made before y'all literally blindsided me last round?? Did I agree to vote out Arvin next? Sure. IF Y'ALL VOTED ADELINE. Did you vote Adeline? NOPE. So in my opinion, the terms of the agreement are null and void. And my lawyer WILL be hearing about this!!!

Brandi

my confessions are usually 1 sentence but it is 9:20 am on the day of tribal and my head is SPINNING.

amy: is playing two sides of the fence and pitting hairie and I against each other... which she doesn't need to do because we are both weary of each other lmao

hairie: sent me 1 million messages while i was sleeping

arvin: haven't heard from him in days

raffy: i feel like he is lying to us and draggin us along. he has not publicly voted with host pet alliance since the beginning

colin: a sweetie but is saying arvin's name is the only one out there?

jinx: feels like they are being bossed around in the game and aren't in control of their own destiny

zo: hasn't talked to me in days and I know they are ride or die for hairie

trinica: idk perf ily also kinda paranoid rn

BRANDI: I AM LOST IN THE HAZE, CONFUSED, and trapped between a rock and a hard place.

Jinx

we plan, G-d (old schoolers being quirky goofy for no reason) laughs

Amy

Hairie I've always wanted to be a part of a fight in the tribe chat you really know how to make a woman feel special 🥹

Hairie

Why is round after round I get some attention that I don't even want, need or be a part of? #obsession

Amy appreciation post:

1. She has a cool job. 2. I've never played with someone that has her communication style. Very interesting. 3. She's my number 1 fan. 4. She loves coins :)

Amy all that silly goofy callouts and arguments are for fun. Hope you don't get offended (one can hope).

Brandi, I lied for you and the fact that you're going to vote for me. Hmm kinda upsetting. I'm done lying for people. This was the second time.

Tonight the votes are all public with my cursed idol so enjoy everyone.

Raffy

I woke up today wanting to target Arvin. Trinica told me that we shouldn't and instead target Hairie because Hairie is sus as hell. I agree cause Hairie is sus as hell. Hairie drops Amy's and Colin's name immediately. I tell Colin immediately. Hairie fights Amy in the tribe chat. I tell my Golden Gworls alliance (me, Colin, Amy, Zo) to target Hairie cause he's coming for the old schoolers. They agree. I talk to Trinica. She has Brandi. Also confirmed with Jinx to vote for Arvin to split the vote. Working on getting Zo to split the vote on to Arvin. Let's hope this goes well. I don't want Hairie to use an idol.

Hairie

The idol would benefit only if the move is to idol out Amy.

So the vote breakdown should be 6 for Hairie, 2 for Amy and 1 for Arvin.

Amy

might get idoled out for fun tonight

[nightfalltales]

let me make you feel better

parings: p4 jotaro kujo x fm reader

cw: SMUT - size kink + foreplay + fingering + penetration + literally just bathtub sex; dom!jotaro + sub!fm reader; explicit; au where everyone survives aka: eyes of heaven

word count: 2.1k+

summary: after a difficult day at work, you arrived home eager to see your loving family. fortunately, it appears that your husband is home while your daughter is out. how will he take care of you?

author’s note: damn i’ve been gone for a long time and will prob be gone again but oh well, wrote y’all a dilf jotaro smut bc we love dilfs and milfs ;)

smut below (18+) !! MINORS DON’T INTERACT !!

oh boy, you had a rough day of work. your co-worker accidentally spilled their drink on your paperwork, the project from the speedwagon foundation postponed today even when you’re prepared to get that over with, you name it. you drove back home with a headache, you couldn’t deal with this shit right now.

all you wanted to do was to rest after a long day, nothing more. of course, your husband and your daughter are welcome to rest alongside with you-- they are what you need to relax. you were content to just be with them and enjoy their company since they both put a smile on your face.

you park on the driveway, make your way to the door into the home that you, your husband, and your daughter shared, unlock and then shut the door to your living room while exhaling heavily from exhaustion. the first thing you see when you enter the house is your 6’5” husband approaching you with a serious expression on his face, indicating he know you’ve had a bad day and didn’t want to talk about it.

your husband immediately embraces you, giving you little time to greet him. you become calmed by his warmth, and you give it to him in return by encircling him in your arms.

“sorry i came home late..” you sighed.

“mm, no need to apologize.” jotaro replied as he rubbed your back.

he releases his grip on you, helps you remove your coat, and set down your bag. “would you like to join me for dinner?”

“you.. waited for me?”

he nods. crap. you were concerned that he become impatient because you felt like you made him wait so long for you. 

“i’m so sorry, dear. i believe i called you earlier that you could have dinner with jolyne and i’ll come home later to eat the leftovers.” you groan a little in irritation as you scratch your head.

jotaro held your hand and replied, "you did," as if to reassure you not to panic. "but i'm not going to let you eat the leftovers alone. i'm eating with you.”

wow. he actually did waited for you. for that long. 

it’s always the small details that jotaro left for you that makes you fall for him more and more. he’s a private, quiet man that everyone knows. they are unaware that he would express his affection for you whenever you both were alone. whether it would be cuddling you, kissing you, hugging you— you name it. he is your husband after all and since you’re his wife, he feels at ease around you.

you grin as you nod your head. "okay, then let's have dinner together."

he leads you into the kitchen, where dinner was already served. as you observed how organized the dinner table was, you grinned. despite the fact that jotaro was a capable cook, the meal he prepared smelled amazing.

suddenly, you realize there wasn’t enough food for your daughter to eat. “wait, jolyne doesn’t have enough food to eat with us.”

“jolyne already ate.” jotaro said as he grabs more utensils out of the drawer.

“wait really? where is she then?”

“she’s at kakyoin’s house for a sleepover. it’s just the two of us in this house.”

you sighed with relief. thank goodness you remember jolyne and kakyoin got along really well once you introduce her to him and he didn’t hide his smile. they would always enjoy playing games together at his house, even though kakyoin would occasionally win and tease jolyne about it. she would stick her tongue at him and demand for another game so she could win. that thought made you chuckle.

“come on and eat. what’re you standing there for?” jotaro grinned as he heard your chuckle.

you quickly return to reality. “oh right.”

you joined your husband in eating the dinner that he had prepared. you could tell he worked hard to make the dinner delectable since the food was delicious. you wonder how jolyne’s face lit up once she had her first bite of the dinner your husband made. she would most likely exclaim, “daddy, this is really good! mommy would enjoy this!”

though the atmosphere was silent, having your husband there to eat dinner with you was sufficient. the silence didn’t bother you at all. as long as you’re with him, that’s all you cared about.

once you two were finished, you were about to pick your dishes to put them in the sink when jotaro intervenes.

“let me clean the dishes.” jotaro offered as he took your dishes to the sink. oh great. you felt bad for him even more. after he has prepared dinner, you shouldn't let him clean the dishes.

“oh no no jotaro, let me-” he turned his head to look at you with a stern expression, you immediately stopped talking. you reluctantly gathered the remaining dishes for your husband to wash.

as he pumps the soap onto the cleaning sponge, he sighs. “didn’t want to make you wash. you had a rough day and you need rest.”

deep down on what he said, he’s right. he wants you to get some rest so that you can feel better along with him. he knows you well ever since when you first met him.

after washing the dishes, he comes over to you and tugs at your work clothes. “take these off and run a bath.”

“oh yeah.” you cast a downward glance over your work clothes. “i should go take a bath then.”

“i’ll join you.”

“eh? you haven’t took a bath yet?”

“no i haven’t. i want to join you.”

“isn’t that enough trouble for you..?”

you immediately regretted asking that question when a frown formed at his face.

"i waited all evening for you, y/n. i want to be with you, and being with you means taking a bath with you.”

you nodded hesitantly in agreement, mainly because of his demanding demeanor. but then again, perhaps the key to a good rest is a bath with your husband.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

as you enter the bathtub, jotaro assists you and allows your head to rest on his chest. you feel calmed by the warmth of the water and the presence of your husband sitting behind you.

“thank you, dear.” you muttered as you nuzzled his chest. “for making me feel better.”

he mumbled a “hm” as if to say, “you’re welcome”, and then leaned in to kiss you on your forehead.

you smiled as you felt his lips touch your forehead. you turned around to offer him a forehead kiss of your own.

but in this moment, jotaro wanted more. he intended to make you feel better. he didn’t want you to stress over a bad day at work. he wanted to make you think of him and him alone to put you at ease. the sight of you was enough to increase his desire for you.

“dear, you oka-” before you could finish, he leaned down to kiss you on your lips. you squeak in his lips as he grasp your hips to pull him closer to you. god you were adorable, transforming into putty in his arms so effortlessly that he could hold you close.

his tongue entered yours as he kissed you firmly. you felt him tightening his grip on your hips, giving you the impression that he was in control of you.

he releases his hold on you and gives you a lustful gaze. his eyes wanted you to know that he wanted more. more of you.

“jotaro..” you whimper as his mouth drifts along your jaw, leaving open-mouthed kisses and bites until he reaches your earlobe, which he tenderly grabs between his teeth and pulls slightly. the sensitive sensation on your body reached to you. he smirked as he felt you trembling in his arms.

“can i continue?” he asked as he rubbed your back. the need inside of you makes it impossible for you to speak; all you can do is nod. you needed this, you needed him.

he growled and bit your earlobe once again and you jumped at that sensation, letting out a squeak.

“i need to hear you say it.” his scorching breath hitting your sensitive ears. he’s directly speaking against your ear, it’s not fair.

“y-yes..” you push the word out of your mouth, it’s silent and breathless.

“let me make you feel better.” he then kissed your cheek before setting his fingers in place to enter you.

you are seated on his lap with your legs extended to his liking on each side of his. he continues to peck on your earlobes as one of his arms encircle you and hold you to him.

he finds this view breathtaking since he gets to watch your chest move as you trembly breathe in and out. he gets to feel the pressure of your face against his neck and hear the sound of your moans when he touches you.

your eyes widen as he slips one of his fingers into you, and you moaned in response. he pulls you to his face by grabbing onto your chin— he wants to see you.

“jotaro! ah!” your attempts to regain your breath only made his finger move more quickly. your responses start to pull him back toward the authority and control he formerly possessed. every time he moves more quickly, the warm water from the tub splashes.

it was embarrassing for you to let him see your reactions. although you two had already engaged in sex, the notion of him witnessing your reactions makes you feel extremely ashamed.

nothing could conceal how readily his fingers pumped inside of you, no matter how slick you were or how wet you were due to the water. you were unable to contain your voice when he stuck one more finger in you.

suddenly, you immediately felt your own climax about to reach to your limit. you tighten your hold on his broad shoulders. “j-jotaro.. mph! i’m close.. i’m close!”

“then go on and cum.” once again, you felt his hot breath on your ear.

you reached your limit and screamed his name, but you could still feel his fingers inside of you, every pulse, and the tightening of your walls around him. he kisses you from the base of your neck to the delicate curve of your shoulder.

“i’m not done with you yet, y/n.” he growled and pulled his fingers from your pussy. as you bucked your hips together, the water sloshed. his dick is lined up against your hot pussy, and you gasp as you feel it. jotaro was gripping your waist firmly as you both grunted simultaneously.

you were biting your lip while holding onto his shoulders as your husband slammed into you, his huge cock ripping you wide and the head shoving your cervix with every rock. you screamed his name while keeping your eyes closed as the sensation of his cock inside of you grew stronger.

even though he was fucking you slowly, the blows were powerful, leaving you unable to remain silent. his thrusts went shallow but rapid, and you drove your nails into his back and shoulders as your slick body slid up against his, never ever pulling back before forcing his hips close with yours once more.

“fuck y/n..” he groaned.

he fucked you through your orgasm, extending it as your entire body felt hot— you were left to cling onto him. as jotaro chased his own orgasm, the water in the tub sloshed erratically and spilled in some places.

when your climax suddenly started to approach, he was groaning loudly and occasionally letting out moans.

“jotaro! i’m gonna..” you bit your lip to suppress your noises.

with a few more thrusts into you, jotaro then roughly pulled you down onto him, spilling inside of you with a rasping groan as he dumped his seed. this left you with a warm sensation in your gut as opposed to the water's somewhat cooled temperature. 

“fuck..” he groaned even more.

as soon as he let you go, you sank into him and started panting hard alongside with him as he leaned back into the tub, satisfied with one another.

“you feeling better?” he asked as he looked down at you.

“a lot better.. thank you.” you nuzzled once more on his chest.

you made an effort to get out of the bathtub but lacked the strength to stand up straight. goddamit, you were unable to walk. jotaro assisted you by carrying you bridal-style out of the bathtub followed by his chuckle. “come on, let’s get each other both cleaned up.”

you nod your head in agreement and cleaned each other up. what a great ��rest” provided by your husband.

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

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[chloegong]

that semi-AU romajuliette + benmars fic

i need a permanent place to store this after dumping a random google doc on twitter so here it is, the author writing fic for her own book because people gave me headcanons and they were too good not to make use of

__

the one where juliette and marshall go out for a night out on the town and roma and ben have to go along to supervise because one time they accidentally committed arson —headcanon from twitter user @leonidasvaldz

a semi AU where Benedikt and Marshall were hanging out with Roma and Juliette in those happy months R&J had together in 1922 before everything went wrong (aka you can take this as canon because it will fit the timeline but the characters won’t have memory of this in the actual published books)

Disclaimer: i wrote this in one go inside a starbucks please expect ao3 user chloegong and not Author Chloe Gong who does multiple rounds of edits on her books

Second Disclaimer: nobody go putting this on goodreads before someone on my publishing team kicks my ass (rightfully so, i’m on deadline rn and i’m writing fanfic instead of my real contracted manuscript)

Mandatory reminder that Our Violent Ends is available for preorder with all links here :)

__

It wasn’t supposed to happen again. And yet, somehow, Benedikt was watching fire curl around the side of the building, the roof beams giving a loud groan before shuddering and caving in on itself.

He turned a look onto Roma. “Your girlfriend is a maniac.”

~

Five hours earlier...

Juliette climbed in through the window of Roma’s bedroom, careful to hug the burlap bag close to her chest as she landed on his carpet. The howling wind outside drowned out some of the clinking, but the glass bottles were still making a racket no matter how carefully she hugged the bag. She had gone full throttle for tonight; when no one was watching and her relatives were downstairs crowing over a game of cards, she had snuck around and robbed the liquor cabinets at the Scarlet mansion quite generously. Now she dropped the bag onto Roma’s floor with a huff, brushing a curl of hair out of her eyes.

“Where’s Marshall?”

Roma looked up from where he was reading, putting his book down and rising from the bed smoothly.

“Well, hello.” He strode toward her, stopping before her with his arms crossed. “Lovely to see you too. You do know it is my bedroom you just snuck into, right?”

Juliette pretended to jump in surprise, looking around wildly. “Do you jest? Oh, bother. Let me climb back out and go find my real lover. Marshall! Where are—”

With a huff that seemed to double as a laugh, Roma grabbed her wrist before she could turn around and leave through the window again.

“You’re hilarious,” he said dryly.

“I know.” Juliette reached up with her free hand, clasping her cold fingers right onto his neck. Though her palm was freezing from the bitter temperatures outside, Roma hardly flinched, he only shrugged his shoulder up to keep her hand there. He couldn’t fight back the grin. For several seconds, the two of them only stood there, looking like a pair of idiots smiling at each other.

Then his door opened.

“Are we interrupting something?”

Marshall bounded into the room, throwing the door wide open. With a horrified expression, Benedikt hurried in after him and closed the door quickly, listening for movement on the other side.

“Yes, leave the door wide open,” Benedikt said. “While any White Flower strolling the corridor can peer in and see the Scarlet heir standing there in a silly coat.”

Juliette stepped away from Roma, peering down at herself as if she had forgotten what she put on. “I didn’t think it was that silly. It’s my disguise.”

“You do look a little like a housewife,” Marshall said, considering the coat.

“A fifteen-year-old housewife?”

“I suppose that is exactly why you look a little silly.”

Juliette pulled a face, but refrained from arguing further. She was here tonight because Marshall wanted to see the new Scarlet club that opened along Thibet Road, and she had promised she could sneak him in. Unfortunately, Marshall was bad at keeping secrets, and the worst at keeping secrets from Benedikt. The moment that Benedikt heard Marshall was planning on entering Scarlet territory, he had decided that he would come in accompaniment.

Juliette supposed it was only fair. Benedikt didn’t entirely trust her, but he was nice enough. He tolerated her presence and always kept an eye over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t spotted on their territory if she poked her head in to see Roma. While Juliette didn’t know much about Marshall either, he was far warmer than his best friend, and for the first time last week, they had even enjoyed an outing with just the two of them. Juliette Cai and Marshall Seo—out and about in the border territories on a quaint evening.

That outing had ended with accidental arson though, so it was rather possible that exacerbated Benedikt’s desire to play chaperone. And of course, if Benedikt was coming along, Roma wanted to tag along too.

The arson was hardly their fault, Juliette and Marshall had maintained when the Montagovs asked questions. What kind of person left a stack of hay out beside a bar? And what kind of hay was that easily flammable just from accidentally whacking one of the lanterns on the awning onto the stack?

“All right.” Juliette hauled the bag up again. “Are we ready to sneak onto Scarlet territory?”

“Absolutely not,” Benedikt muttered, strolling past her for Roma’s window. “But is that going to stop either of you?”

Before anyone could answer him, Benedikt had already hopped the small gap between windows, climbing into their neighboring building for their route out unspotted.

“Great!” Juliette said. She passed the bag to Roma so he could do the carrying. What was the point of converting a rival gang enemy into a lover if not to lug around her heavy things? “Glad we’re all so enthusiastic.”

Roma sighed, clambering onto his sill and making the climb too. “The things I do for you, dorogaya.”

Marshall hurried after him. “I would argue you’re actually doing this for me, dearest Roma!”

With a snort, Juliette climbed out last, and pulled the window after her.

~

The Scarlet club had been a bust. Of course, Benedikt had figured that would be the case from the get-go, especially if they were sneaking in at such a late hour to avoid being seen by anyone important in the Scarlet Gang. At least Juliette had provided good alcohol, and now he squinted at the label of the wine bottle under the street lamps while they walked, taking the smaller main roads along the periphery of the city.

Up ahead, Roma and Juliette were whispering to each other, though they didn’t sound like they were talking in full sentences. Those two always communicated in looks and gestures, swapping languages whenever they felt like it and ending up with some incoherent tangle of words that no one else could comprehend.

“Is there anything left in that?”

Benedikt glanced to his side, shaking the bottle to show Marshall. “One last swig. All yours.”

Marshall took the bottle. He put it to his lips and swung up, his head tipped to the sky and the line of his throat bared to the night. Benedikt shivered suddenly, a line of goosebumps rising at the back of his neck. The season had turned cold and the wind that blew onto his face was biting. He wrote off his shudder to the chill, to the temperature dropping with the longer they spent outside at such an hour.

Suddenly, Marshall was squinting into the distance. “Hey.” His call summoned Roma and Juliette’s attention from ahead, who both turned around to see what the matter was.

Marshall pointed to the dark shape off the end of the road. “Isn’t that the abandoned factory we lost to the Scarlets?”

“Is it?” Juliette asked, a sudden glee in her face.

“Why would you say that?” Roma bemoaned. He didn’t bother trying to stop her as Juliette hurried ahead, eager to explore the factory. “Look what you’ve done.”

But Marshall was wearing a similar expression, his eyes scanning the factory as they approached closer and closer. Wordlessly, he handed the bottle back to Benedikt, and though Benedikt’s head was spinning from the drink, he still recognized the exact face that Marshall made before he was going to get himself into trouble.

“Mars—”

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” he insisted, tipping his chin forward. Juliette had disappeared into the factory. “You two be look-out. We wouldn’t want someone finding us here, right?”

Benedikt scarcely had a second to argue back. Marshall was already hurrying off.

~

Inside the factory, Juliette trailed her hands along the dark walls, her eyes wide. The machines looked strange in the moonlight, but stranger while sitting so idle. She was used to seeing rows and rows of workers in the daytime, trailing after her father as he ran inspections on the work of their trade partners. It might have been the wine in her system, but everything seemed to sway: sitting so inactive in movement that her eyes were imagining movement.

“Pst.”

Juliette almost jumped out of her skin.

“Christ,” she muttered, whirling around with a hand on her heart. Marshall slunk out from the shadows, both his hands in his pockets. “You gave me a fright.”

“Me? Frightening?” Marshall picked up a strange object on the table, inspected it for several seconds, then set it back down. “I am the least frightening person on the planet.”

“Yes, well, when it’s so dark, even a cuddly teddy bear would be terrifying.” Juliette felt around her dress. She thought she had tucked her lighter in here somewhere. There were little pockets sewn around the sleeves and armholes that she kept all her weapons, though if anyone asked, she would say she had the ability to materialize them out of thin air.

“Do you scream often at teddy bears?”

“Only when they sneak up on me.”

“I don’t see you screaming at Roma.”

“He gets a special pass. He’s only a teddy bear on the inside.”

Marshall snorted. He leaned down, trying to read the paper taped down to the table. At last, Juliette found her lighter—it was actually in her sock—and she brought it close, thumbing down the sparkwheel for a flame.

“Do not touch—for demolishing,” Marshall read under the new light. “Are the Scarlets going to build something new here?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Juliette replied. “My father doesn’t include me in his business meetings yet.”

“Hmm.” The shadows of the factory danced. Juliette thought she saw someone darting in her periphery, and she whirled around, but it was only Marshall’s shadow. Unfortunately, she had scared Marshall with her movement, and he bumped into her, asking, “What? What is it?”

The lighter flew out of her hands, landing on the paper.

“Nothing, nothing!” Juliette assured. “I was seeing things.”

But Marshall wasn’t convinced. He swiveled around. Peered hard into a corner. “Was it ghosts? I know this city has ghosts. All that death creates so many ghosts.”

Juliette tried to look where he was looking. She couldn’t see anything except the dark.

“There is no such thing as ghosts.”

“Just last week, I felt something walk by me and then there was no one when I looked. I swear to you, if it wasn’t ghosts then I—” Marshall stopped suddenly, turning around to look at the table. “Uh… is that supposed to happen?”

Juliette whirled around too. The whole table was on fire. “Oh, God.”

With a sudden pop, the fire sprung up and licked up to the walls. There had to be something sprayed inside the factory already to prepare for demolition, or else the flames would not be traveling with such intensive speed.

“Marshall,” Juliette said simply.

“Yes?”

She looked at him. “When the Montagovs ask, we blame the factory and say we have no idea what happened. Run!”

~

Benedikt and Roma kept watch in relative silence. Benedikt’s head was spinning, and his cousin looked like his head was doing the same if his swaying was any indication. Roma was humming softly under his breath, toeing the grass that grew around the abandoned factory.

Then, there was a sudden sound from inside, and the first tendrils of flames blew out from the topmost windows.

“Roma,” Benedikt said plainly. “I’m willing to bet my life savings that Juliette Cai just committed arson.”

Roma tilted his head up, his jaw dropping agape. At first, he could only stare at the growing fire, eating up the roof beams. Then, he said: “To be fair, it could have been Marshall.”

Benedikt threw his arms into the air. “Who looks more like the arson type, Juliette or Marshall?”

“Is that a trick question?”

“The answer was Juliette!”

Benedikt pinched the bridge of his nose. He was rapidly growing concerned, but before he could suggest they go in to search for the two, Juliette and Marshall ran out from the factory—laughing. The factory was burning down, and they were laughing, grasping at each other and spinning in circles right in front of the factory. They looked a sight: seconds away from collapsing atop of each other in utter delirium.

Benedikt turned to Roma. “Your girlfriend is a maniac.”

Roma was struggling to hold back his laugh watching her with Marshall. “I think she’s magnificent.”

Marshall stumbled, and Juliette squealed, reaching out to grab his arm before he could trip and land flat on his face. Benedikt almost—almost—let a smile slip. Before Roma could sight it and tease him for enjoying himself after all, he cleared his throat.

“What happened?” he bellowed.

“Faulty factory!” Marshall called back.

Benedikt shook his head, turning on his heel. They needed to get out of here before someone reported the fire.

“Come on!” he called back to the three. “Let’s go before the Municipal Police arrive.”

Upon Benedikt’s summons, Marshall left Juliette’s side and hurried to catch up. He slowed to a stroll once he was beside Benedikt, but Benedikt could feel Marshall watching him.

“What?” Benedikt asked. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure his cousin was following too. Thankfully he was, though it was mostly Juliette hauling him along, their hands clasped together and swinging while Roma kept looking at the fire.

“I think you enjoyed yourself,” Marshall replied smugly. “After all that complaining about sneaking into Scarlet territory.”

Benedikt reached out and rapped his knuckles on Marshall’s skull. With a shriek, Marshall darted ahead.

“You want me to enjoy myself?” Benedikt shouted after him, breaking into a run too. “Come back then! Let me throttle you!”

FIN.