#i wrote a line that made me laugh
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ive managed to write 3.7k words this month
its nowhere near where i was before the accident but fucking hell it feels good to not stare at an empty page while crying
#please congratulate me im so happy about this#i wrote a line that made me laugh#and it felt like old times#im still struggling a lot with word recall#and some letters are still foreign to me#but im doing it#im making this happen#i can work in 500 word bursts before it becomes too much for me#so thatâs exactly what ive been doing#fan fic talk#sulley speaks
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thinking about the relationship between sif and the universe, and related theories / headcanons aka I listened to a song and I need to get these feefees out of me
this is a lot of prelude for something that can be shown with just the video clip, but I want to include all the strings that make up this knot
Its not explicitly stated, but I believe it's pretty clear that whenever sif repeats something three times while hoping for something (sharpening the keyknife, carving in general, praying to the change god statue in dormont), he is performing wish craft.
however, he doesnt repeat anything three times when getting the keyknife. he doesnt even need to pray to get it at all, the change god just gives it to him. they say themselves that they dont care for rituals. they never even take credit for the stat buff, they only take credit for the keyknife
when sif changes how they pray at the change god statue, their method more strongly resembles the ritual to make a wish at the favor tree (picking the one you like best), and as a result the buff gets better. it is the wish craft ritual that is the important part of the prayer to that statue, not the change god
one thing that IS explicitly stated is just how powerful wish craft is for those who know the rituals, and how dangerous it is in the wrong hands. between the disappearance of colors (Im pretty sure that was the result of a wish, I may be misremembering), the disappearance of the country, and the king being nearly successful in freezing all of vaugarde in time, it only takes one wish to take out massive chunks of the world at a time
we know that wish craft is very entwined in the culture of the country (the story written about in the journal is told as a cautionary fairy tale, the rituals themselves are so deeply ingrained in sif that the wish to forget the country did not restrict his memory of the rituals, and he can perform wish craft without even being fully aware he is doing it)
it seems reasonable to me that the reason for the country's disappearance was to hide the existence of wish craft and the rituals to access that power from the rest of the world. considering sif didnt even remember his culture AND had good intentions, and still nearly ended the world, seems like that concern is pretty well founded. however, thats not the important theory Im making this post about
the country has knowledge of wish craft in conjunction with worship of the universe. "the universe leads, we can only follow," "the universe willed it," seems pretty safe to say that sif's Universe is the "entity" that is granting wishes
the way wishes are described, they dont seem like something the universe grants based on who worships it. as long as you know the ritual, you get the wish. everyone is part of the universe, after all, worshiper or not
Admittedly, its a bit of a stretch to say that the universe as a collective force has any sense of empathy for human struggles. but using the change god as an example, as spiteful as they are to sif, and unsympathetic to anything other than a human's role in the concept of change, they still show a great deal of care and favor to mira, someone who loves them. it is possible for a deity to care for those that care about it
sif, despite no longer having access to his culture or why he cares about the universe, still loves the universe, very very deeply, just as much as mira loves change. the change god says that sif's deity will never answer him, but I dont think thats the case
and this is the important headcanon that I am making this post for
sif is performing the rituals, so he gets the wishes, simple as. but I feel strongly that his wishes getting granted in very small but noticeable ways, despite not knowing how or why hes doing it, is the presence of his universe helping him, caring for him, even when he doesnt remember it
the strongest evidence for this, and the basis for this whole thing, is exactly how euphrasie breaks down in act 5
at first I only really noticed when she laughs, it reminded me very much of how the change god, a being who uses sprites of other characters and has done a whole possession, laughed during their encounter. they and euphrasie are the only two that use anything other than "ha," and right after this laugh is when her breakdown pauses and she says the lines
"... Soon you'll be able to go back to your normal lives. Away from battle and strife. Finally, you'll all be able to go home!!!"
which, knowing the end of the game is coming, is incredibly relevant. very deliberate
before this pause, her breakdown seems pretty chaotic. the characters and the player are just coming out of one harrowing experience, and are clearly headed for another. the cohesiveness of this glitchy breakdown amongst a mess of the rest of the world doing the same isnt really high up on the list of priorities. none of the characters notice anything beyond the fact that reality is breaking, not even sif. it just sounds like scary nonsense.
but with the context of euphrasie being possessed to talk to sif, every single one of her lines makes perfect sense
(footage from Zhain Gaming on yt)
the universe is there its talking directly to him, it was there the whole time
the Universe loves Sif so much
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat act 5 spoilers#I have no idea how obvious this is or if its old news#since I havent seen anyone else talk about it#but the relationship between sif and the universe makes me emotional#I wrote this at 3 am based on memory#at first I wasnt too confident in it since it was only based on the laugh and the lines that follow it#this was just something that made me happy that I was gonna keep no matter what#but when I went back to look at the lines and found that every one lined upâ I cried#anyway#I wanted to write this whole thing after listening to Secret For The Mad by Dodie under the lens of the universe talking to siffrin#special shoutout to pidgey who joked that the universe was adrienne actually#they were goofing but as a high concept meta art thing I can definitely appreciate#speaks
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they weren't kidding, those bears can be in trees
#me listening in 2021: yeah sounds nice whatever#me now looking back at stuff i completely forgot that i wrote in 2021 and listening to the same music again: FUCK#bears in trees#bluebird.txt#heard three different songs with lines that made me pause in the last fifteen minutes jesus christ#little cellist..............shit im not crying i promise#also. mossy cobblestone made me laugh and also like haha. yeah#ARRAY OF LIGHT KINDA CAME FOR ME TF#'my weekends used to consist of loosening nooses' is absolutely going to make me sob like a baby later and im not even exaggerating#also very transgender of them in general (outside the binary a fine array of light so real)#but. SCREAMS CRIES.#music to cry with your inner child to
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remembering a dream i had, where i was visiting a family member who was showing us around the new house they moved into, and at some point i was desperately trying to find a bathroom, but not to do my business or whatever - i was specifically looking for a bathroom that had a mirror.
so i'm going around this persons house, going from bathroom to bathroom, trying to find a mirror because i guess i wanted to make sure my hair looked good, and for some reason, not a single bathroom had a mirror. eventually in my search, i run into the woman who can only be described as either my aunt or a representation of my mother, and i'm like "hey listen, do you have a mirror anywhere?" and she looks at me and laughs, and she says "oh honey we don't have any mirrors, we use god's most important invention" and then proceeds to hand me her phone.
#dream posting#i was looking through some DMs to find some specific dreams i wrote down and this one popped back up in my memory#i know it's weird to refer to them as like. a representation of my mother/aunt. but like it wasn't really anyone i recognized#but they were like. part of my family. so it's hard to really say who its supposed to be#cause like in one moment they look like my mother. in another they were just kind of some woman#as for the house itself. it was nice. couldnt really explain it in such detail but it was spacious. had a fireplace or something.#like i could kinda map it out in my brain but like. its a dream house. its not gonna make perfect sense or line up at all#but yeah i re-read the dream and it made me laugh really hard remembering the punchline to the whole dream#gods most important invention. thats how she said it. or maybe gods most useful invention. one of those two#like yeah god made it in his image. or whatever. who cares.
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Poly!JO ficlet (legit it's tiny)
I'm not gonna make a full story out of this but I loved the very short intro I wrote so I'm gonna post it here cause I think you guys will like it
Bojan kneed Kris very hard in the balls in his mad dash to get to the bathroom before he threw up .
He ignored the gasping sound behind him and Jure's confused groan as he made it just in time to empty his stomach. He thought he could hear Nace ask "Kris are you good?" in a very sexy and very sleep filled voice.
Bojan might have drunk a bit too much if his pounding head and inability to move from the toilet seat was anything to go by.
He must have had a good night though if there was at least 3 other people in his bed. He heard pained wheeze followed by a shout of "AGAIN?"
Jan was suddenly next to him, half shoving him off as he too hurled into the toilet.
Bojan chuckled before messily stroking Jan's hair and tucking it behind his ear.
"What a romantic start to the morning" Bojan half whispered as he stared at Jan across the toilet bowl. Jan rolled his eyes.
"Next birthday we celebrate we are not fucking drinking" he groaned out.
#poly!JO#bo(jan)2#i dunno i just thought uo the first line and it made me laugh so i wrote this#feel free to expand upon it#joker out#ficlet#i don't think it can even be called that#more like a single opening scene#if anyone has an idea where this goes tell me so i can make it a full thing#bokris
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hey wanna read a fic where, after some pain and talking, you reap the rewards of Aziraphale taking Crowleys sunglasses gently off his face? ....yeah
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#my writing#sneakpeek#new chap is up and what can i say#it's quiet gentle and romantic actually#(the calm before the storm?)#also 'only the sun was trying really hard not to cry' might be my fav line#it made me want to laugh AND cry when i wrote it
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ive been playing my time at sandrock and this is one of very few farming games where i have some real trouble picking who to romance
there is one lone teenager and the bulk of the romance options are mid-20s or older. it's far cry from some farm sims where everyone is like, 21 at best and i get to feel vaguely uncomfortable the whole game. they gave me not one but TWO awkward dudes who want to ramble at me about their special interests. one romance option has a "can u show me how to hold the gun đĽş" scene that may as well be a recreation of a scene from my sniper/reader fic. one is a friendly rival archetype. one has a pet bird that u have to communicate with. one mentions a niche subtype of architecture and gets excited when you recognize it. im eating sooooo good here
#unsuur is my top candidate atm#the man wrote me secret admirer letters and asked me to watch paint dry with him. how could i possibly resist#he also has some of the funniest lines by far like a sim game has never made me laugh like this#the only one im not romancing at all is elsie. i thought she was a kid until she dropped a line about being an adult lol#her character is too immature for me#oh and maybe not burgess or miguel. i cant hang with the church nerds
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"The cup is approaching a concerning level of fullness, neither half full nor empty but definitely containing more vomit than any of us would choose."
#i'm finally allowing myself to read the 10k of this manuscript i wrote this week#and i forgot about this line and it made me laugh really hard in public#i am cringe but i am alive
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#6
why is the six so big. what.
âYou,â said Remus, with a voice like a strangled cat attempting to reconstruct its mangled vocal chords, âare beautiful. Who did your eyes? I want to eat their frontal lobe.â
Janus was instantly charmed, of course. âTheyâre a genetic defect. So I suppose youâll have to dig up my parents for dinner.â
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I finally heard Sabrina Carpenter's Christmas version of "Nonsense" and I just adore how absolutely silly and unserious it is. Every joke is both clever and also the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It sounds like she rewrote the words using the method of "put monkeys with typewriters in a room and they'll produce Shakespeare", only in this case it was "put a bunch of silly immature idiots in a Discord group chat and they'll produce innuendos that will make you laugh as well as facepalm hard enough to land you into your grave at the same time."
Making a song like that work as well as it does is a testament to her charisma and charm. She has a comedian's sense of timing and delivery, but she balances that out by just having really fun songs that are well crafted. I think that's the biggest thing that's really made me fall for her this year. Her astronomical rise has been one of my favorite things about mainstream pop music this year.
What can you say? She leaves quite an impression (five feet to be exact)
#original post#sabrina carpenter#by the way#the line âWhen you're coming down the chimney it ooh feels so good I need that Charles Dickensâ made me laugh way harder than it had#any right to#and i can imagine the smirk on her face when she wrote the line âlook at all those presents that's a big sackâ
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SSR Family Event in a Nutshell
Itaru: Alright so my sister's getting married and I need to get her a good gift, ideas?
Izumi: You should invite her to the next Spring Play! I mean you'll be the lead.
Itaru: No way.
Sakuya: You really respect your sister, huh?
Itaru: Yea but don't tell her that.
Sakuya: (I think he should invite her to the play.)
Masumi: You sure you don't want to invite her to the play?
Itaru: Surprised you care, but yea no. Absolutely not inviting her.
Chikage: So your gift?
Itaru: Picked out I just need to pick it out & send it to...
Itaru: So she already has one coming. So I still need a great gift. I don't want to just give her money... Citron?
Citron: I can say with absolute confidence, you should invite her to the play. It'll mean a lot.
Itaru: ...Alright.
Itaru: Everyone I've decided to invite my sister to the play. And as special thanks to Citron for this, I want him to have a special role in it.
#i'm so not funny#i'd say:#I'm freaking hilarious actually#but like this isn't that funny#I mean I laughed rereading this but like...#anywho#this has been sitting in my drafts for months#since June 8th 2023#so I'm posting it to get rid of it#I'm doing a bit of drafts cleaning#sorry if there's any inaccuracies#I mean it wasn't too far off from when I read it when I wrote it but like ye#I made a small edit to it so if that's wrong whoops#didn't want anyone to get two lines but it was bothering me how it was set up there#also did tsuz really not have a part in that or did past me thus present me forget it?#like I know he wrote the script and there was stuff there but that doesn't have to do with the joke directly so...#am I forgetting something? idk#was gonna schedule this but i rambled so much in the tags I'm just gonna send it to the abyss now#a3!
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@augustinewrites @mysugu @soumies
he doesn't mean to make you sad, you know that. it's just that, when atsumu's upset it becomes everyone's problemâyours especially.
you don't know how it starts. atsumu had been bouncing off the walls just a moment ago, drunk off of booze and the afterglow of victory. you don't know which one of his teammates had invited her to the after-party, just that right now, you can't help but hate them.
it's just for a second, but you catch it. the way his eyes immediately dim, how his hand falters around yours. you don't want to jump to conclusions, but it's obviousâatsumu's in love with her. painfully so.
he drops your hand as if burnt and turns away, letting himself be carried off into another conversation. atsumu laughs loud enough to be heard over the music, a deafening house mix that thuds through your chest like a second heartbeat. anyone else might not spare him a second glance, but you know that when atsumu laughs that loud there's something he's trying to hide. then, as if remembering that you're still there, atsumu turns over his shoulder. you answer before he can ask the question.
"no no, go ahead. go have fun!"
atsumu tilts his head, though you know he's only asking to be polite. "are you sure?"
you smile. "no worries."
it's a bold-faced lie, but atsumu's never been that good at paying attention. he returns your smile with an excited nod, letting himself be led away by the shoulders. "don't go anywhere!" he shouts, though you know later on he'll forget to come find you. that's the way it always is. always has been.
you nurse your drink against your chestâwater, you don't have the stomach tonightâand try to look on the bright side, if there is one. atsumu had been the one to invite you, hadn't he? and though you're still "just friends", he'd held your hand earlier, so that has to count for something, right?
it's useless. you down your water in one go, figuring that if you treat it like alcohol it might work like it is. it doesn't, and now you're alone at this party with an empty cup and an even emptier hand.
you sigh and snake your way out of the kitchen, making your way up the stairs to the first door that opens. the upstairs is off-limits, but you hope that whoever owns this room is drunk enough to be forgiving. you don't even bother to turn on the lights, and instead flop backwards onto the bed. you feel the music downstairs rather than hearing it, a steady thump-thump-thump that shakes through you from head to toe.
you close your eyes, trying very hard not to think about atsumu and the girl he's still in love with downstairs. it's not your place to be bothered, that you know, but something in your chest still aches at the thought. you've loved atsumu since before he met her, after all. it's a shame he hasn't noticed. or maybe he's not noticing on purpose, which is considerably worse.
"woe is me," you say to no one, your voice biting with sarcasm. you're not shocked at how things are turning out, moreso that you thought it'd turn out any differently. with a sigh, you close your eyes. atsumu will find you eventually. and if he doesn't, then someone else will. you'd rather be cursed at for trespassing than anywhere downstairs, faking a smile as you wait for atsumu like a well-trained dog. at least here you can lick your wounds in private.
you don't know how much time has passed when you feel something press into your side, warm and solid. arms wrap around you: one slung over your waist, the other snaking its way under your head. you turn in confusion, seeing nothing in the dark.
whoever's holding you down reeks heavily of liquor, and their arm feels like a dead weight around you. when you try to pull it off they hold onto you tighter, mumbling something incoherent under their breath. "um, hey," you say loudly, voice hoarse with sleep. "get off of me."
the person beside you stirs, and the bed dips slightly as they prop themselves up. they mumble your name under their breath, and in the dark you can make out the vague outline of a face.
with a start, you realize you recognize that voice. "...osamu?"
he lies back down, bringing you along with him. "h-hey," you start to protest, but osamu's grip grows stronger in response.
"don't leave," he mumbles, as you try to sit up.
"butâ"
"m'head hurts. shhh." osamu shushes you, curling up against your side. his hair tickles the side of your reddening cheek.
"hey, osamu." you try to move out from under his arm again, to no avail. "you're really drunk."
"and?" he counters, pulling you closer, almost possessively. "just pretend for a little while."
that catches you off guard. "pretend?"
"it's dark, so it's easier," osamu refuses to elaborate. "c'mon. it's my birthday."
"osamu, your birthday's in october."
"is it?" there's an uncharacteristic cheekiness to osamu's voice, one that makes you turn your head towards him in surprise. you can't see him, but you can tell from the warmth that his face is only inches away. "well it's somebody's birthday, somewhere."
something touches your cheekâosamu's hand? no, his face. somewhere near his chin, guessing by the stubble that scratches your skin. "just do me a favor and pretend i'm him," osamu says, and in that moment he sounds scarily sober.
"wh-what?" you can't help the way your mouth hangs open at the request, your stomach feeling like it's about to drop out of you.
"you heard me," osamu mumbles, back to being drunk again. "pretend i'm him. you know what i mean."
"youâwhatâthat's notâ"
"am i wrong?" osamu presses, raising his voice like he's imitating his brother. it works. osamu's fingers trace across your face, reading the shock on your face like braille. you turn your head and press your nose to his neckâno cologne, only the soft smell of skin. it can't be atsumu, but for a moment, you're fooled.
osamu tilts his head and sighs, slow and sweet. and when his lips brush your forehead, it's like everything you've ever dreamed. "i'm right," he breathes, nestling his head against your shoulder. it's not a question anymore, but a fact. "i'm right," he sing-songs, still painfully drunk.
"osamuâ"
a hand covers your mouth, warm and firm. softer than atsumu's, and just a bit bigger. "don't say my name like that," he whispers, his voice hot against the shell of your ear, "say it the way you say his."
you swallow an audible gulp. "osaâosamu?" you try again.
osamu shakes his head. needy hands pull you in by the waist. you feel osamu's lips kiss up the side of your neck. "not like that," he murmurs.
"o-osa...mu..." you're breathless and dizzy. you feel osamu's smile against the underside of your jaw.
"better," he grins, and this time, his lips find yours.
it ends before you can even react. osamu pulls away with a shaky exhale, as if he's slowly waking from a dream. his eyes shine back at you in the dark, wide and unblinking.
he opens his mouth to speak. "iâ"
"you're drunk," you say immediately, and push him away by the chest.
osamu doesn't let you. he brings his hands over yours and keeps them there, and under the thin cotton of his shirt you feel his heart beating rabbit-fast. "so? i'll still want you when i'm sober."
his words choke your own out of your throat. "osamu...i can'tâ"
"so don't. don't do anything. just stay the night." there's a desperation in his words that makes your stomach flip. osamu holds onto you like he's afraid to let go. "please."
it's late, and you're tired. atsumu's in love with someone that isn't you, but osamu's arms are warm enough to make you forget. you think to yourself: is it selfish if he's willing? are you cruel for wanting to pretend?
you wrap your arms around his neck and osamu relaxes, melting into you the same way butter does on toast. he's soft, comforting. familiar, but not the same. osamu's lips brush on your neck again and the impact shudders through your spine like electricity. he takes his hands and rubs them over your arms, thinking that you're cold. you don't want to tell him that in reality you're burning up, feeling hot everywhere he touches.
"thank you," osamu murmurs into your hair.
"for what?"
"stayin'."
and when osamu kisses you a second time, you don't have the heart to push him away.
#oh my god this is so insane#SOOO good#OP the sentence structures here just HIT#holy shit so so good#hq!!#miya twins#osamu#atsumu#IM ACHING#THIS IS SO GOOD#i normally cant handle love triangles but with writing like this how can i NOT read oOOuuugh osamu's so!!!! incredibly!!! just!!! omg here#this line: a deafening house mix that thuds through your chest like a second heartbeat. <- is so pretty to me#i love how you wrote feelings parallel to tangible things like that heartbeat one and the empty cup with an empty hand#it huRTS that you know atsumu's laugh and he doesn't even know your feelings. it SUCKS he can't even tell you're faking a smile#the angst i wish i could write oh my god: he'll forget to come find you. that's the way it always is. always has been.#THEN. WHEN YOU FIND OSAMU??? GOD.#this did a number on me: just do me a favor and pretend i'm him#and when osamu imitates atsumu 'am i wrong' OMG THE WAY THAT MADE ME FEEL god. then he kisses ur forehead and its like everyth u dreamed#this is a new kind of ache its like. so close but it isn't it. it could be but it isn't. and that SUCKS.#'dont say my name like that; say it the way you say his' HELLOOOO!??!? HES INSANE FOR THAT HES INSSAAANE FOR THAT#THEN HE KISSES UP THE SIDE OF UR NECK WHLE SAYING 'NOT LIKE THAT' TOO /??! omg. idk but. how can u not cave w that#him smiling against ur jaw? CRIMINAL. absolutely sick. like. that my stomach felt all funny. all the yearning. GOD/#then he kisses u and u say hes drunk and then 'so ill still want you when im sober' THTS A NEW KIND OF PAIN#familiar but not the same. ur hand under his shirt.#op this is so good i love this so muc
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Sunbathing
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: youâve decided to sunbathe topless, or as your husband Joel would put it, youâve decided to torture him.
Warnings: needy Joel, kind of sub!joel, unprotected p in v, premature ejaculation, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), come play.
a/n: i sunbathed topless for the first time and well this wrote itself
"You've seen my boobs before babe" A soft laugh bubbled up your throat as you turned your head left.
He wasn't even pretending not to be staring.
"Not like this"
You smiled, "what does that even mean?"
"not out... here"
You lowered your sunglasses to see him better, tilting your head to ask for further explanation
Yes you were outside, by the pool of the beautiful summer house you'd rented, but you didn't get how that made any difference, they were the same boobs he'd seen hours prior in your bed.
"I'm not used to not doing anything about them"
"ah" you hummed "is it that hard?"
You didn't even need to look at the smirk painting his face to regret your choice of words.
"yeah babydoll, it's real hard"
You only needed to lower your gaze a little to asses his statement.
"You're incorrigible"
"And you're torturin' me darlin'"
"How am I torturing you?" you laughed "I'm just taking advantage of the privacy we have to get a good tan"Â Â
"and besides, I seem to remember how hard it is for you to see me with the whole bikini on too"
He sat up, the sunbed squeaking as he faced you.
"It ain't my fault if my wife's so pretty it hurts"
"you get so dramatic when you're horny" you chuckled, rolling your eyes.
He smiled, letting his gaze wander all over your body for a good minute, before getting back at your face
"nothin's gonna happen is it?" his tone was full of hope nonetheless
"no baby" you shook your head
He sighed, dramatically letting his head fall to his chest
"I'll have a swim then"
"have fun honey"
__ __ __
"darlin'?"
Not even ten minutes had passed, and that scene from the Barbie movie with the "Ken! Go for a walk or something" line couldn't not pop into your head.
"yes?"
He was standing right next to your sunbed, dripping wet and blocking out the sun.
"don't ya need sunscreen?"
A soft smile pulled at your lips.
Ten minutes, that's how long it took for him to come up with that.
"I put it on already"
He wasn't gonna give up, not on the first try.
"how long ago?"
"an hour, I think"
"the sun's real strong now doll," he said, drying his hair with a towel before throwing it on his bed "I think it's best if you put some more on⌠I can do it for you if you don't feel like it"
You chuckled, looking up at him, but he stayed in character, continuing to look oh-so worried about your safety.
"Somehow I knew that offer was coming"
"'m just worried about my wife, 's all"
he'd crouched down, taking your hand in his
"mh-mh" you hummed, sarcasm tracing your tone
"can't have you get sunburt now, can we?"
"no, we can't" you played along, smiling at him
"'f course" he murmured, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on your lips as he grabbed the sunscreen.
"I'm so lucky to have such a caring husband"
"I'm the only lucky one babydoll"
He gave you one more kiss, before he leaned away and got to work.
He squeezed some cream into his hand, but to your surprise, his hands didn't land where you'd expected them to-
Only his eyes were betraying him. They were only on one, or actually two things even when it was your legs he was massaging.
The coldness of the cream and his hands felt good against your warm body, so much you couldn't help but hum appreciatively.
"feels good?"
"yeah baby" you breathed as his hands made their way to your thighs.
It always amazed you how hands so big, rough, and strong were able to be so gentle and soft on you.
You couldn't deny the shivers running up your body when his fingers reached your inner thighs, getting close to your core.
"what's that?" your husband was smirking like a cat, as he dedicated himself much too long on that spot.
"I didn't say anything"
If he thought this was gonna work, he was wrong. It was too hot, and you were too relaxed to do what he so obviously wanted to do... although you both knew how much you liked seeing him desperate...
He still didn't touch your boobs, no, next were your shoulders, then your arms, and then... when he felt on the brink of exploding, when he couldn't stop himself anymore, he squeezed a generous amount of sunscreen in his hands, and oh so gently started massaging your tits.
He couldn't stop a soft groan from fleeing his lips.
It felt amazing- of course it felt amazing, but you didn't wanna give him the satisfaction, and this was mostly for him, not for you, so your eyes remained closed as you pretended like it was nothing.
But that only lasted so long, because Joel could endure just about 30 seconds of that before he was bending down, and his mouth was sucking your nipple.
"Joel!" you gasped, your eyes snapping open just in time to see him climb onto you to straddle your waist, and then go right back to groping and licking and sucking your nipples like it was his life long duty.
"baby you're all wet" you tried complaining, but the smile on your lips was everlasting.
He looked so damingly cute like this, looking up at you with those big doe eyes as he worshipped your tits.
"so are you"
And yeah so what if you were- there's only so much a woman can do in front of this.
A soft laugh spilled from your lips as your hand went to find a place in his hair, your back arching to offer more of yourself to him.
"I don't even know how good it is for you to be licking sunscreen"
The look he gave you made it very clear he didn't give one single fuck.
And just when you were about to protest again, his teeth had gently bit your nipple, and a moan had spilled from your lips.
he took that as an incentive to go further, his hand slowly sliding down your belly, between your bodies, until it was seeping underneath your bikini bottoms.
"babe-" you stopped him, your voice breathless
His hand stopped on your mound as he groaned in frustration.
You could feel his rock-hard cock on you since the moment he straddled you- the man was desperate.
"please doll" he murmured against the soft skin of your chest in between kisses "Gimmie something-anythingâ he pleaded âHave mercy on your poor husband"
Your response was mixed between a laugh and a moan
"I can take care of you if you want"
He shook his head, his teeth grazing your nipple "Need to feel you darlinâ"
Again, a soft giggle rumbled from your chest
"âS too hot to have sex here baby"
His hand had gotten out of your bikini to reach the other on your waist.
"the pool- the ground? fuck- anywhere you want sugar, just tell me where"
His clothed hard-on was rubbing against your core now, and fuck but once again youâd succumbed to Joel and his goddamn irresistible neediness.
"bring me back into the house"
It was like heâd been waiting his whole life to hear those words.
In a haze of kisses and lust, heâd picked you up, letting you hold onto him by wrapping your arms and legs around his body as he hurriedly walked into the house.
He didnât make it far enough to encounter a single surface- and perhaps that was because heâd stopped looking and placed you against the wall the moment heâd passed the threshold.
His mouth was on your tits again, his cock was out, and his fingers had pulled your bikini to the side.
He said nothing as he slowly began entering you, the only sounds in the room being your moan as you threw your head back, and the groan he emitted, muffled by your skin.
âOh fuckâ you cried once he bottomed out.
Your husband was a very gifted man.
"'m not gonna last"
He sounded like the mere act of talking was taking all of his energy, and yet he was thrusting up into you like it was a matter of life or death.
"'s ok"
"I've been hard since you took your top off" he murmured, his breath fanning over your chest âyou-you-jesusâ
Your left hand passed through his hair, softly soothing him.
ââS alright baby, donât wait for meâ
âYouâre too fuckinâ-â he tried to speak, but he was interrupted by yet another groan
âWhat?â you taunted him, a smirk pulling at your lips âwhat is it baby?â
His eyes were wide with desperation as he looked up at you, as his mouth stole languid kisses from your tits.
âToo hot- too goddamn perfectâ
You bit down a grin at that, still stroking his hair
âI love you babyâ you breathed, his cock reaching the deepest, most fucking amazing spot inside you in the meantime.
The moment those words left your lips your husband was fucked- the only words he was able to mutter were a series of -fuckshitgoddamn- before he inevitably reached his peak, filling you up with rope after rope of come that never seemed to end.
He remained like that for a little while, buried inside you, eyes closed, mouth still connected with your boob, until you left a gentle kiss on the crown of his head, and he woke up from his heavenly trance.
He let out a soft groan as he slipped out of you, and took his time letting you down.
You were smiling at him with that soft smile that melted his insides right up, and he couldnât help but lean in and kiss it, kiss you like you were a soft delicate thing that he was scared of breaking.
âI love you moreâ he promised, kissing you again, even if you were smiling.
âFeel better now?â
You said it like he was a kid with a stomach bug, and he couldnât help but laugh a little.
âYeah darlinââ he murmured against your mouth âthank youâ
âYou donât have to thank meâ you laughed, but he was already shaking his head
âYes I doâ
And without further explanation, heâd dropped to his knees.
He slid your bikini to the side once again, looking up at you with only adoration in his eyes.
âBaby you donât have toâ you tried to reason with him, but his mouth was already latched to your clit, and your hand had already flown to his hair.
He remained on your bud long enough to make you desperate, and then he started focusing on your whole core, his tongue lapping between your folds with what could only be described as feral hunger.
His come was everywhere, and yet he didnât care, he was happy tasting the mix of your fluids, because thatâs how Joel was- a nasty nasty man- only for you.
So much so that you felt his tongue enter your hole, simulating what he was doing just minutes before with his cock.
âFuck-babe-â
Your moans were breathless, more like whines, like prayers.
You were looking at him as he was looking at you and Jesus... He looked fucking heavenly.
His hair all tussled from your fingers, his blown-out pupils, his never-stopping tongue-
âJoelâ you cried, but he didnât dare speak a word as he went back to your clit.
âShit-baby- god!â
You had to tighten your hold on his hair as your orgasm crept up your body- and it was as you heard him groan with pleasure, as he sucked your clit into his mouth like a man starved, that it all came crumbling down, and you felt your body light on fire as your climax took over.
You were moaning and crying into the air for a good minute before you were sane again.
Only Joel hadnât stopped eating you out for a single second, and even then, he looked like he had no intention of doing so
âBaby-babyâ you whimpered, having to literally pull him away from your core.
He was smiling like a kid, and you couldnât help but follow suit.
He put your bikini back in place, and then stood up, his hands lingering on your waist
âYouâre crazyâ
He couldnât help but kiss you before answering,
âYou make meâ
#i wrote most of this on the train next to this cute old woman with whom I talked the whole way back home#it was a very wholesome trip tbh#if you ignore me writing smut while she tells me about her niece#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#fluff#joel miller imagine#joel miller blurb#joel miller angst#fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel miller x f!reader#sub!Joel#sub joel miller
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you'll just have to taste me | joel miller
Summary | He knows he's no good, knows it's a bad idea, you're out of bounds and should stay that way, but it's okay to test the waters, right?
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count | 1.7K
Warnings | this is literally 1.7k of utter filth, you've been warned, it's nasty, I told you, okay? Unspecified age gap, Joel is your dad's buddy and Sarah is your friend. Joel fights with his morals but the pussy is too good. Explicit smut, JUST THE TIP, unprotected PiV, cumshot, cum eating, spit play, dirty talk, Joel talks you through it. No outbreak au, no use of Y/N.
Authors Note | I AM SO INCREDIBLY LATE TO POST THIS, but this is my entry to @hellishjoel's HOT DILF SUMMER CHALLENGE. I know it's September and this was not my original idea, but it came to me and I wrote this in less than an hour. It's filth and it's nasty and I beg you not to judge me okay? Written and edited on my phone so forgive any mistakes.
Divider by @saradika
Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
Heâs going to hell. Heâs always known it. Despite the years of his parents putting him in his Sunday best and taking him to church each week with his brother, despite his upbringing and the way heâs always tried to be the perfect southern gentleman, Joel Miller is going to hell, and the evidence in right in front of him.
You. His buddyâs daughter. His own daughterâs friend. The bane of his existence for the whole damn summer, with your short dresses and flirty eyes and the way you make him laugh and the way heâs wanted you since you waltzed back into town, masters degree under arm, with one purpose which seemed to be to turn him on at every possible opportunity.
Itâs been bubbling for weeks. Youâd caught him in the corridor during movie night with Sarah, whilst she was downstairs microwaving popcorn and heâd had no choice but to kiss you, your lips drenched in something that tasted like mango and made him dizzy. Then, at the annual neighbourhood cookout, when youâd dropped a fork and bent over to pick it up, flashing him those skimpy panties as you did, heâd had no choice then but to drag you upstairs and teach you a lesson, ten sharp slaps on your pert ass and strong words that you needed to stop. He doesnât doubt you went home that night and shoved three fingers into your cunt and dreamt of him as you came.
But now, itâs all real. Sarahâs gone back to college, your parents back to work, and you have nothing lined up until you start getting invited to interview for positions that youâd applied to with a slew of applications about two weeks ago. Itâs why youâre on his bed, itâs why heâs left Tommy on site on his own, and why youâre bare as the day you were born, legs spread obscenely, pussy on display as he stands at the foot of his bed and contemplates whether he really should do this.
âYâscared, old man?â You tease, one hand trailing down your body, two fingers spreading the swollen lips of your cunt, middle finger dipping inside.
He can see the webbing of slick you drag from yourself, finger slow as it circles your clit. His eyes canât miss the way your hole flutters as you touch yourself, like itâs begging to be filled, begging to be filled by his throbbing cock that heâs currently fisting in his hand.
âAinât scared,â He mutters, âYâsure you wanna do this?â
You donât speak in response, just dip two fingers back into your weeping cunt and start fucking yourself with them. He squeezes his cock a little tighter in his hand, feeling the weeping of pre-cum at his tip as he watches.
âAinât no cominâ back from this.â He muses, moving forward, knees on the mattress, your legs spreading wider to accommodate the width of his thighs.
âWant you,â Is all he hears from your mouth as his cock rests on your pussy, hot and heavy against your skin, âWant your cock, Joel.â
He thrusts his hips a little at that, dragging his length through the soaking folds of your cunt, head rubbing against the swollen bud of your clit.
âYâsure?â He asks, continuing the rub of his cock, âItâs all over then, baby,â He coos, âIâll ruin ya.â
âGood,â You groan out, hips shifting to try and catch his tip at your entrance, to try and get exactly what you want, âI want it, Joel, I want it bad.â
âYâknow what I think?â He asks, looking down at you, stopping his movements and opting to circle your clit with his thumb instead, âI reckon we need tâmake sure.â
âI am-â You try and protest, but heâs shushing you.
âI reckon,â He says slowly, bringing the tip of his cock to press to your weeping core, âIt donât count if itâs just the tip,â He pushes his hips forward ever so slightly, not enough to sink inside, but enough that heâs already had a taste of what youâll feel like around him, âJust the tip baby, and then weâll know.â
He looks down at you and he can see your wild eyes, the way you nod your head against the mattress. Youâre such a good girl for him, taking whatever heâll give you, so he does just that. With three fingers on the base of his cock, he lets the tip of him push inside you, just enough that the head of his cock is nestled inside you, and he knows heâs fucked.
Youâre tight and youâre warm and youâre breathing and whimpering for him, and those perfect walls are clenching around him so right and so good that it takes every ounce of self-control he has not to shove his cock all the way in and damn you both to hell.
âJesus girl,â He breathes, one hand clutching at your hip to hold you still, âFuckinâ perfect, ainât ya?â
You donât speak back to him, itâs all you can do to lie and try not to writhe too much as he starts his shallow thrusts. The head of his cock popping from your wet cunt and then being sucked back in so perfectly. Heâs had his fair share of women since Sarah went to college and he knows heâs a lot to take, knows that he knows what heâs doing too, but when he looks down at you, your eyes tilted back in your skull, cunt squeezing him just right, he canât help but think this is what heâs been missing.
âThat good?â He asks, bringing his thumb back to your clit, swirling wetness across it as he continues the shallow thrusts of his hips.
âWant it all,â You grumble, âCan take it all, Joel.â
âAinât got a doubt,â He teases, but doesnât relent, âBut we gotta make sure.â
He wants to lean down, wants to cover your body with his own and suck one of your perfect nipples into his mouth, but he knows the minute he does youâll beg him so nice and heâll break, so he resists, swirling his thumb across your clit with more purpose now.
âMâgonna-â You choke out, and he knows, he can feel it, the way youâre fluttering and tightening around the head of his cock so perfectly, âGonna come, Joel.â
âYeah?â He asks ruefully, âGonna come on my cock, pretty girl?â He smiling down at you as your mouth drops open, your cunt pulling painfully tight around him, âGo on, you can do it,â He babbles, trying to fight the tightening in his own stomach until youâve come for him, âCome for me, baby.â
And you do, by God you do, and he thinks it might be the most beautiful thing heâs ever seen, the sweetest thing heâs ever heard. You whine, a high-pitched kind of thing, eyes clamping shut as you arch your back. Thereâs more slick around his cock than heâs ever seen before, making it easy for the tip of his cock to ease you through it. The convulsing of your walls around him bring him to his own end, using his last braincell to drag the tip from your cunt and give himself three strokes before the thick ropes of his cum are splashing across your swollen pussy. He watches where they land, painting your skin as his own as his head tips back and breathes a sigh of relief.
He knowâs he should stop, but thereâs something mesmerising about the mix of his cum and your own, the way heâs dripping down you and onto his sheets. His shuffles down a little and leans forward, using his thumbs to spread your pussy open, before he uses his tongue to gather the mess down there. Heâs slurping at you, tasting your cunt through his cum, gathering as much of the two of you as he can in his mouth.
Youâre moaning for him when his tongue flicks a few times at your sensitive bud, but then his body is over yours, weight pressed against you as one of his hands takes your chin, squeezing at your jaw to get you to open your mouth, which you do, gladly.
Joel opens his own mouth, letting his cum, your slick and his spit drop from his own into your waiting mouth. He doesnât give you a minute to swallow anything, his tongue mixing with yours in a kiss that is messy and obscene. He can feel your hips against his own, your hot cunt pressing against him. If he was younger, heâd pin you down and fuck you again, this time for real, but all he can do is pull away.
âSwallow it,â He orders, closing your mouth and watching the bob of your throat as you do what he says, producing your tongue for him, âGood fuckinâ girl.â
He unceremoniously collapses onto the bed next to you, arm over his eyes as he tries to recover some semblance of composure. He can feel your body next to his, shuffling a little closer, and then he can hear you stifling a laugh and then before long, itâs not stifled, itâs full on laughter. He takes his arm from his eyes and looks at you, and canât help but start laughing himself, until his ribs hurt and youâve calmed down enough, your body draped across his in the mid-afternoon glow.
âThis is bad, huh?â You whisper, fingers dancing through the smattering of hair across his chest.
âTerrible, really.â He responds.
âIâm sure though,â And he holds you a little tighter at that, âNext time, I want the whole thing.â
âDonât worry baby,â He says quietly, pressing his lips to the crown of your head, âYou can have whatever you want next time.â
#Joel Miller x reader#Joel Miller x you#Joel Miller x female reader#Joel Miller x f!reader#Joel Miller smut#Joel Miller#Joel Miller fic#Joel Miller fanfic#Joel Miller fanfiction#the last of us#the last of us hbo#tlou#tlou hbo#the last of us smut#tlou smut#tlou fic#tlou fanfic#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#Joel Miller Pedro pascal#Pedro Pascal#Joel Miller tlou#Joel tlou#Joel Miller the last of us#Joel the last of us
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Hi, I would like to ask for a smut from Adam x fem Reader, his dear wife is going to pay him a visit at his work and in the end they almost get paid for lute
New Eve (Adam x Fem! Wife! Reader)
-SMUT AHEAD MINORS DNI-
Other warnings: Adam Being Adam
I hope I wrote this ask and understood it correctly! Adam is my guilty pleasure. I love men who are dumb as rocks and who are going to be absolutely leashed by even stronger women.
REQUESTS OPEN
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There's a saying that all good things come in threes, Lilith, Eve, and you. Adam's final wife, who physically couldn't be swayed by Lucifer because Adam had met you in Heaven. When you passed through the pearly gates, you were greeted by none other than the first human himself. You were in awe for about two seconds until you quickly gathered the first man was a complete and utter dickhead. He seemed to falter when you walked past him to greet an angel named Lute, Adam's second in command. She tensed a little as you introduced yourself, ignoring Adam's protests that dubbed you a Queen Mega Bitch.
All this to say, it took about three months before Lute caught Adam sticking his tongue down your throat with you latched onto him like a koala. You made a distressed sound at being caught while listening to Adam laugh above you. You distinctly heard him call your mouth as good as a vagina while pressing a kiss to your hairline. "Adam!" You hissed, pulling on the horns of his mask as he let out a defiant sound, "Inappropriate."
"Ugh yeah, that's kind of my thing, sugar tits."
"You need to not make it your thing, or this thing doesn't happen." You drew your line in the metaphorical sand before marching out of the room, faintly hearing Lute argue about Adam's behavior behind you.
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â˘â
â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ
â˘â
Two years later, you were Adam's new 'Eve' in heaven with two golden rings to prove the love that formed between the two of you...somehow. Did the both of you fight constantly? Yes. Did you want to wring his neck every time he opened the gaping hole he called a mouth? Also Yes. But did you love him...unfortunately. Even though he had a laundry list of bad habits, a vulgar mouth, and gross hobbies, he had his moments. He was protective, fiercely so, and despite his fuck boy personality, he only had his sights set on you. Lute often asked you what you saw in Adam, and you'd reluctantly sigh and give a tired grin, "He makes me laugh. Plus, with proper motivation, he's putty in my hand." Lute made a sound of understanding, nodding her head,
"Ah, yes. Use your feminine wiles to control those weaker than you, even if they may be physically stronger. We must use what we are given as women. Well, you must. I'm very strong without using that to my advantage."
"Yes, exactly," You snickered as Lute stopped outside Adam's office. "Which is exactly why Sera put me in charge of convincing Adam to meet with The Morningstar's daughter." You groaned, rubbing the bridge of your nose, "I'll see you back here later, then?"
"Yes, ma'am." Lute bowed, "I wish you luck...you'll need it. He's in one of his moods." before taking off into the sky and down the hall. You reached up with a stretch of your arms, fluffing up your wings to look extra pretty before knocking on Adam's door,
"Adam." You hummed, knocking on the grand marble door once before opening it. You leaned against the entranceway, wings brushing against the floor, as his head shot up.
"Sugartits!"
"Not my name!" You dodged Adam's hug with a flurry of your wings; he grinned, shoving the door closed with his hip. "Adam," you said in warning as he used his angelic magic to fly towards you and trap you within his arms.
"and what would you prefer I call you? My Bitch? Wifey?" He mused, peppering sloppy kisses against your cheek and down your neck. "We could go with Queen or Goddess, preferably." You shot back, dragging Adam down to sit in his chair; you hummed gently, removing his mask from his face. He leaned back, kicking his legs up on the desk as you slid down into his chest, straddling his hips. You hummed, running your fingers through his brown hair, and he melted into your touch, "My name works, too."
"I guess we can settle on Queen. Does that make me your King?" Adam preened as you scratched under his chin,
"Without a doubt...but we must talk about the Young Morningstar."
"Who?" He made a faux confused face which you raised an eyebrow back at in response, "Ugh, Lucifer's cunt daughter. What about her?"
"She's been begging for a meeting. I suggest you meet with her." Your lips began to trail down his neck, nipping at his skin as his body flushed.
"But that's so much work, sugar." He groaned, running his clawed hands through your hair, "Can't I just say fuck off back to hell we're gonna exterminate all of you regardless."
"Sera wants you to at least meet with her one time; she's giving you a lot of trust to handle this on your own."
"And if I do what you ask, what'll you give me?" He mused, eyes sparkling. You huffed, hitting him with the back of your wing, and he laughed, "Come on, you gotta sweeten the deal for me, mama."
"You're such a bastard." You huffed, moving to pull your hair out of your face. He moved his legs to the ground, and you could slide between his knees. "Robe off unless you want dirty," you commanded as Adam fumbled out of it quickly.
"I love you~" He leaned back with a sly grin, hand reaching up to move your head closer to his lip. Your fingers spread across his thighs, and you huffed softly, looking up at him.
"I love you more. If I do this for you, you promise to meet with young Lady Morningstar?"
"You can't just fuck me because you love me?"
"Bite me." You sneered, but there wasn't any malice in your voice as he stood up, picking you up off the ground and pressing your back against his desk.
"Oh, it would be my pleasure. I can't say your robes will survive, though I might need to get you some new ones." Adam popped the buttons on your robe, allowing your body to be laid bare for his eyes. He watched your breathing hitch as his long claw trailed down your neck to your chest. "Fuck I love these puppies, you know that?" Adam grinned, grabbing fistfuls of your breasts, squeezing and kneading to his heart's content. Your husband was like an oversized golden retriever. When he sees something he likes, he obsesses over it like a man deranged. His favorite playthings of yours were your tits and ass. "Any meetings?"
"None. I'm yours for the rest of the day. You can mark me how you'd like; I'm yours, my husband. Well, until you meet with the Princess."
"Fuckkkkk yeah, baby, come 'ere." Adam dove between your breasts, and he felt you suck in air through your teeth. He began to bite and suck on the supple flesh of your chest; you keened, arching into his mouth, hands tangling in his brown hair. You could tell from the way his teeth would graze against your nipples and your flesh he was doing everything in his power to leave marks on the skin.
"Adam...ngh." You panted, feeling his hand move down from your breast to slide down your stomach and between your legs. "Shit," You squeaked, feeling him tease your clit with his thumb and forefinger with a dopey grin on his face.
"There's my favorite girl," He flicked your nub skillfully; for being a massive asshole, this prick sure knew where to find your clit. One finger slid between your folds, and you tossed your head against the cold marble desk. "Damn, only one finger has you acting up? I must not be treating you good enough," He purred as another finger entered you, stretching you out to be big enough for, 'the first ever man god created.' Adam watched with delight as your wings spread out and trembled, glowing with a soft golden glow. "That's it, you're being such a good girl for me. Are you ready?"
"Yes." You panted, "Adam, please."
"God, you beg so nicely, you little slut," His hand reached up to grip your throat, causing you to let out a desperate whine, hips bucking into his fingers. "Beg Harder," He demanded, moving your hand to palm him through his trousers, stiff and aching. "Look at how hard you make me. How desperate. I need you to worship your god."
"Yes, sir." You purred, "You're my God, Adam. I need you, I'd worship for your love, your touch, your dick." You dragged your hand up your chest, playing with the swell of your own breast, "Don't you want to make me happy, baby?"
"More than anything." Adam's eyes lit up in elation, "Stay with me. Don't go to Lucifer. You're mine." He snarled, hands around your throat, "Say it."
"I'm with you. Only you. Forever Adam." His entire body seemed to relax when you said that, pressing gentle kisses to your cheek and lips. "I love you, you annoying Dickweed."
"Love you more, Sugartits." He grinned cheekily before lowering himself to you with a hiss-like laugh. "Tight as ever, and that's why I love you,"
"If you keep talking nonsense while you're literally inside me, I'll cut off your dick,"
"Sounds kinky."
"Adam."
"Fine, Fine, you're so vanilla." He mused, albeit his tone was much softer, fonder than his earlier teasing. His hands grabbed under your knees and pressed you close with a snap of his hips. You both let out a moan, yours higher pitched and needier, bucking your hips, searching for more friction than he was currently providing. You always savored the way he was able to fill you up, he wasn't the longest but god was he thick filling you in all the right ways. Every time his hips snapped into you, you could feel just how deep he kissed your cervix. "Yeah, you like that?" He panted, "Like how deep I'm getting? From the way you're dripping, you're practically soaking through my table. Your vag is like a vice, babe, so tight for this big cock."
"Hm. Your words always know how to turn me o-ng-ff." You moaned out this end at a particularly sharp thrust of his hips. "Fuck you," You panted as he grinned down at you,
"Good news, wifey, that's exactly what we're doing-"
"Sir!" You let out a scream as Lute slammed the door of his office open, you climbed against Adam's body like an embarrassed Nun. He groaned, still inside you but having the decency to cover you with his wings.
"What do you need, Lute? I'm a little busy getting it on with my sexy ass wife." Adam complained, motioning to the top of your head, to which you made an embarrassed sound of mortification. "Can this be rescheduled or-"
"The Princess of Hell is here, Sir. She just showed up-"
"Are you for real telling me that the bitch Princess of Hell is seriously cucking me right now?!"
"...Yes."
"(Y/n) If I killed her for interrupting us, would you be pissed?"
"Beyond Adam."
"Fuck."
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#x reader#fem reader#adam x reader#adam x you#hazbin hotel adam x reader#smut#requests open#reader insert#hazbin hotel smut
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AFTER MISSION HOURS
a/n: mb guys, i cant escape the soft dom allegations i just love it too much. but gojo is a little rougher in this. wrote this as a result of the latest jjk ep and uuuhhhhhmmmm imma need him to be angry more CAAUUUUSEEEEE .....
warnings: sorta rough dom!gojo, fem!reader, face-fucking, deep-throating, oral (m receiving), multiple rounds, unprotected sex, spitting on your pussy, praise, degradation, use of âslutâ and âwhoreâ, creampie / breeding kink, aftercare and cute gojo at the end, n*sfw under the cut
âsâ satoru?â youâre taken aback when he stalks through the door, almost making a dent in the wall from how hard he slams it open and the darkness of the front door light does his eyes justice in showing just how bright they are. albeit a little less blue and swirling with something darker and youâre taken aback when he finally walks up to you and seizes your wrist.
ââtoruâ you should go see shokoâ!â youâre surprised when he whirls you around and nods his head towards the big sofa wordlessly and while youâre not a stranger to gojoâs outbursts when youâre arguing about how he needs to value his life more or when heâs uptight from a stressful meeting with the higher-ups, but never like this. frankly, youâve never even had to courage to tell him all the times heâs stared at you with hooded eyes and a frown etched onto his face, you had to hold yourself back from jumping him.
but now heâs taking matters into his own hands.
you yelp in shock as he pushes you onto your hands and knees and you look back at how he kneels in front of your slowly soaking underwear. gojo plants his hands on your ass and kneads, bringing his nose right up to your pussy lips and licks a stripe over the fabric.
âso wet jusâ from that? fuckinâ slut,â he whispers just loud enough for you to hear and youâre ashamed to admit that you like it a little too much when you let out a small whine unknowingly. âoh? like it when i call you a little slut?â
he makes sure to spit out the last part and his anger and stress lowers a little just seeing how you wiggle your butt closer to him and a smile spreads on your face. thereâs a little twinkle in your eye when you see the way your boyfriendâs hands make their way down to his pants but he stops short, larger hands wrapping around your waist to flip you over. thank god the couch was big, and he inches his way up your body.
âcâmon. take my cock out,â heâs staring at you from above, a sight you werenât used to, rather more accustomed to having him below you but this new change sends chills right down to your core. you tug at his pants impatiently and satoru watches with a close eye how you scramble to pull down his underwear and the way your lips part slightly. gojo hums softly when you start stroking it to full hardness and the awe on your face is just so adorable.
âsuck.â you didnât need to be told twice, bringing his angry weeping tip right to your mouth to suckle the pre-cum out of it and your eyes flick up just as he smirks. your mouthâs so full of him, moaning around his length as you bob your head in the uncomfortable position. âall ya good for, huh? made just fâr suckinâ me off.â
this gojo was miles off from your loving boyfriend but you loved it all the same, nodding and hollowing your cheeks and using your hands for the places you canât reach. your mouth and hands were no comparison to your tight cunt but theyâre second best, so warm and pliant. you stare up at him before coming off and drool drips down the side of your mouth.
âfuck my mouth, satoru,â your pleading eyes are too much for him, both hands still stroking him non-stop as you mix in your saliva with his pre-cum, lewd noises filling the hall. âplease?â
gojo simply laughs, a laugh that definitely says i should do this more, âsure, baby.â
and while his stress is immediately gone from seeing you beg, heâs not any more gentle as he lines his cock along your lips and holds onto the arm rests of the couch and fucks your face. the first thrust into your mouth, he moans out loud before his hips move quicker and quicker and you have hardly any time to adjust. your fingers squeeze his thighs with each ram into you, tip kissing the back of your throat you swear you can feel him in your stomach. youâve learned to hold your breath even when your nose meets with his untrimmed pubes, eyes never breaking contact as he slams into you.
âmouth sâgoodâ s-shit . .â gojo chuckles breathlessly when he hears you gurgle on his fat cock, feeling your tongue massage the base of his dick. the obscene gawking noises only gets louder when he pushes himself right to the limit, obsessed with how your eyes roll to the back of your head and you can make little noises around him. he gives a little quick glance to see your playing with yourself and he swears under his breath, pulling his hips back and letting you breathe. âfilthy girl. jusâ need me so bad.â
âyâyeah satoru. wanna take your mind off . . work,â you mumble, eyes focused on how his cock twitches and leaks pre-cum from his tip and you just wanna make him feel so good â youâre not even that big on the whole housewife thing, but the way gojo treats you? youâd be on your knees all day if you could, taking his warm cum down your throat.Â
âyeah? cute lil thing you are.â he taunts, bending his body so he could be inches from your face even as you continue pumping him and heâs trying not to lose composure. his eyes bore holes into your face from how hard he stares at you, breath shaky as your hands move under his jujutsu uniform and all over his upper body.
âuse me.â it comes so abruptly even you are surprised, knowing how you liked to be more passive in your sex life and still, this is your first step out of your meekness. âtake it all out on me, satoru.â
gojoâs chest heaves and he silently pulls away to face your cunt, removing your panties and he really wants to give you everything slowly like he likes it. he wants to see you cry as he rocks into you with gradual grinds but when you tell him something as dirty as that â heâs doing anything but that.
âhaah . .â satoru sighs at your clenching pussy, dragging his tip up and down, up and down your folds and just seeing your juices just flow and flow and heâs hypnotised, âcareful what you wish for, darling girl.â
you barely have time to register his warning before he slams into you and youâre screaming. itâs easy from how wet you are and it takes a small while as you adjust to his thrusts and gojo uses your body like a ragdoll. he hovers over you as your legs are limp and unsure of where they should go. this little dilemma isnât lost on satoru, grabbing your ankles and holding them as his hips move relentlessly and this has your hips lifting off the sofa; he easily reaches your g-spot like this.
âsatoruâ fucking g-god! satoruuu . . !â you moan at the roughness of his ministrations, thinking you were free from the assault when he lets your ankles rest on his shoulders but all he does is spit on your pussy. a perfect shot and he rubs it in with his thumb and it has you whining out loud at the sudden stimulation, ât-too much!â
âyou can take it.â gojo simply mumbles, thumb drawing timed circles on your clit as he watches his cock disappear into you. âcan do it when youâre clenchinâ around me this hard.â
gojo grins, sickly.
âah! my pretty little slut did it again.â the names were an exact opposite from the softer praise you were used to, and still they have you biting your lips and giggling in between moans, letting him fuck you like the cocksleeve you are.
âbreed me, âtoru. need itâ!â
âthat right?â gojo slams into you at the speed of an animal, clearly still high-strung from the mission and notices how you still are making sure he cums first. the thought makes his hips stutter paired with seeing your doe eyes as little pants leave your mouth and he needs to pull away from your clit to hold onto your thighs before he cums and cums and cums. your back arches at the feeling and a soft moan is heard from your lips at how it starts to fill you up.
gojo wastes no time to pull out and see his cum spill out of you before heâs doing a circular motion with his finger and youâre lying on your stomach like a good girl. you melt when you feel him scoop it all up, pushing the escaping cum right back into you and your head sinks into the cushions while your ass only pushes more into him.
âholâ on, baby, got another load for ya,â this thrust is wet. you can basically hear his cum struggle to stay in you to the point where his cock is coated in a thin layer of white and you can only moan out for him from below. he shuts you up but pressing you deeper into the sofa, a harsh hand on your lower back and your ass sticks out more.
âthaaatâs it . .â gojo smirks, licking his lips as he watches your ass ripple from the contact. each drag of his cock into your warm, cute pussy, his eyes are there, and each spurt of your arousal and his cum as his pelvis meets yours, heâs searing it into his brain, âthis what you mean by using you?â
youâre murmuring âyeahââs into the sofa, knees and arms suffering from fabric burn from how much your body was moving, and yet his throbbing cock is just too good. your mouth falls open when satoru reaches around to rub at your clit again and your hands fly to hold onto his wrists, âohâ right there, âtoru . .!â
itâs all too much for you, the previous load of cum spilling onto the couch below you, the filthy sounds of slapping skin and the sloppiness of your pussy that itâs even having gojo moving aimlessly into you, rather just rutting in you messily.
âgâna cum againâ f-fuck,â gojo swears as his fingers on your clit are more frantic to try to match his pace while he props a leg up onto the sofa and you thrash against his hold because his tip brushes against your cervix so good that youâre convulsing in the next second, whining and mewling as you cum all over his cock.
he can feel your cum and the sorcerer moans, switching to short, impatient thrusts into your tight cunt and his grunts merges with calls of your name, eyes scrunched up as he shoots his second orgasm into you. you try to grab at something as thereâs the familiar feeling of his tip releasing ribbons of cum deep into your womb, but you come up short, settling rather to dig your nails into fabric.
âtake my load like the cock drunk whore you are,â gojo grunts out lowly, grinding his hips into you just to get his last drops of cum into you and he has the audacity to massage at your lower back while your bodyâs still reeling from the intense high and yes, his anger is quelled a little but each time youâre with gojo satoru thereâs always surprise ambushing you from every corner.
you gasp when he pulls you up and pulls you against his chest, moving his hips in an experimental thrust right into you and youâre sagging over his strong arms that hold you up, whining incoherently as you struggle to stay awake.
âalright, alright,â satoru laughs softly, pressing a peck to your cheek, âneeda thank my baby for letting me use her.â
you barely manage a smile, turning back to him with a raise of your eyebrow, âcan still go . . âtoru . .â
he hums, and pulls you off of him slowly, dick jumping just a little when he hears a choked moan leave you at the feeling of his cum dripping from your cunt but he steels himself, âhm, donât think so, princess.â
you pout, immediately turning around to hug him close to you and gojoâs heart flutters at your cuteness. he sighs at your adamant stance, easily standing up with you wrapped around him and carrying the two of you to the master bathroom.
âletâs clean up and weâll see if youâre awake enough to go again, alright?â satoru whispers to you before turning on the shower, and later when heâs stuck in the toilet tidying up his pubes (he saw how uncomfortable you were earlier) and heâs letting you take the bed first, thereâs a perplexity and small fear that overcomes the male at the lack of answer when he calls out to you.
but gojo comes out to you slipping in and out of consciousness with only his shirt whilst hugging his pillow and he smiles to himself, getting dressed as quickly as possible and slipping in beside you. a soft smile is still plastered on his face when you naturally curl into his warmth and mumble out a soft i still had stamina, satoru.
âshh, go to sleep, baby,â satoru tugs you closer into him and he wonders if thereâs any way to love you even more than he already does, âwe have all the time in the world, silly girl.â
shibuya incident? tf is that?? never happened bitch
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