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kaleidosouls · 1 year ago

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SU reclaimed pearl rambles

im gonna use some annoying comments i got on my reclaimed pearl as a springboard for what i think could be interesting discussion because i think its good to engage with criticism/different opinions. but also if you talk to me like an asshole i want you to fuck off and i promised i wouldnt engage in that kind of stuff bc its not good for me and it doesnt Look good for me either.

so i can talk about my thoughts but not engage directly, win win. its been months but im still really fond of the pearl i made specially this art. like it coudl be better but i like it well enough. just a little header so this isnt a boring post with only text

i think like, its good to establish ground rules that like, i think most of the poor reactions ive seen towards my art were missing, mostly in bad faith probably but in case theres ppl who earnestly want to understand. actually maybe i can format it like a little FAQ even though theyre not frequent or asked lskdjg just for outlining my points. ill put it behind a cut but ill frontline w this: if youre a fan of pearl in the show, this content is not for you. youre allowed to like whatever you want and so am i. if you like her, we probably wont get along and you probably will feel very personally irritated by how i FEEL about her, so just walk away now. im not gonna engage with petty shit taht juts boils down to 'im mad you dont like what i like'

onwards to more rambling / sorta responding to some criticism

i scrolled back and i guess i sorta never have actually done a proper full explanation post about this AU have i? or maybe i have and deleted it, i forgor

why did you change pearl?

because i hate her, simple as. i went from a huge SU fan to hating watching it (i did finish) and pearl is probably The biggest reason why, as like issues with her character seep into other aspects of the show that i also hate. like i mean i Realyl hate her. she makes the experience of watching the show really irritating and miserable for me. if you dont feel taht way about her thats totally normal and whatever but no one is gonna change my experience and feelings that i had watching SU since the 1st season was coming out.; anyway answering. there is a Lot i love about SU and want to engage with, so i had the idea of like,maybe ill just change pearl, cause i wanted to delete her, really, but she is one of the main characters and she hasa function as a character that you cant just do away with. essentially im just like, some guy, who draws, coping and trying to reclaim his teenage investimetn in this show. literally its just for ME. but if anyone else feels like i do, then they can enjoy it too. if somoene doesnt feel like i do, go watch like pearl fancams or smth. like ill never be able to literlaly change the show as it is, like its happened, and its a tragedy im trying to move on from (begrudgingly)

why do you hate pearl?

the long laundry list of reasons are probably apparent in the ways i remade her lol (theyre not i can tell ppl are gonna project whatever worst bad faith reason for any change i make) but tbh the core of it is this, which is like, beyond whatever traits she has and whatever: she reminds me of my abusers. always had, from season 1, but like it became worse as the series went on. its like really infurating and upsetting to watch SU bc of her. had my abusers been a different kind of person, maybe i wouldnt hate her so much (kinda doubt tbh). like her personality and behavior are like hough disgosting!!

why did you change (some physical trait about her design)?

i dont really necessarily have a PROBLEM with canon pearls design. over the years ive come to like SU's style less and less but like, gestures, whatever. like i didnt like it or anything but its not like a bit deal compared to the actual offender that is her personality and behavior. the reason i redesigned her at all is bc like, if i hadnt, i would still be thinking about the way she is in canon all the time. like ive visually associated her like, appearance with all the shit about her thta makes me upset so i had to so she didnt look like the same person anymore, and i can try to let go of some of the hatred in my heart. like i want to think about the thigns about SU that i loved and also the potential i always saw in it and canon pearl is like, an active obstacle to that, to the point taht i cant even see her without getting like irked. i tried to keep enough similar traits so from a glance youd be like, who the fuck- is that pearl? rather than like. completely change her entirely to whatever i wanted. i do want to like, its a creative exercise. i want to try and change the things that would make me happy to see gone but try to work within the constraints of the SU we Did get as much as i can tolerate. bc like.... if the sky was the limit then at this poin wed just have to throw the whole thing away and start from scratch. like its kinda not really very salvageable, like im not rewirting SU to be like a Good show or fix Everything, its kinda too broken. im just chnaging enough so i can look at the actual show, screenshots, songs etc, and not feel overcome wtih like the grief and irriatation of how much it sucked ass. its just so i can enjoy more of it again

i dont like your redesign for (insert reason)

cool. thanks for your input. youre welcome! eat my asshole. seriously though, like, shrugs. i didnt make it for anyone other than myself. tbh im not fully satisfied with it either bc i think the SU style is kinda ugly, so im at a crossroads. should i mostly abandon the SU style? ive like, tested out tweaking things, it mightve been noticeable in screenshot redraws. drawing within the SU style is to create that coping 'oh it was totally like this haha' vibe but maybe im old enough to not need that anymore lol. like ive heard ppl say shit like shes ugly, or like sneakily trying to imply im like, got some agenda over beauty or racism etc. like whatever, think whatever you want, its not for you. go back to sucking up to rebecca or smth like i cant take the og pearl away from you still i am open for like that kind of criticism like, do i have personal biases affecting my design decisions? probably. i do try to keep aware of why im choosing certain things, but really in this case i cant emphasize enough how like, irritating it is that i have to change her design at all. like its hard to come up w smth else when the rest of the cast ahs already been design to balance off the og pearl. i probably wouldnt change almost anything if the sight of her didnt piss me the fuck off! most of all i kinda wouldve preferred to keep her hair short bc it messes up the sillouete but it makes me think too much of canon pearl so i made it long :/ i was like let me tell you my design thought process: -im gonna try to keep as many recognizable traits about her design while taking away bit by bit until she doesnt look like the og pearl to me anymore and i dont feel angry seeing her. pearl is lanky, tall, spindly, with a gem on the forehead, blue white pink yellow pastel colors, large pointed nose. i kinda tried to keep these traits while slightly tweaking their design until she looked different enough. is it a good design? eh idk. like the purpose is to make me not hate her and it does that job

now this hate comment im gonna grace with keeping it intact except removing the person bc its not about them. its like, a very stupid ass headed comment but im actually kind of interested in like,jumping off of it to ponder some things

im not heterosexual or cis enough to know what exactly wife bate means in this context so im gonna like guess, that maybe i could extract this q from that reply (also not looking like shes from steven universe is a compliment thanks)

you took away her personality and made her boring

the only thing i can assume is that like, some people must interpret the absence of an assholey personality or like abusive behavior is 'boring'. i know thats a really bad faith assumption but like, if ive written down a bunch of personality traits and you still come out saying thats 'no personality' what am i to make of that lol. based on my experience like Existing online, people tend to often call nice characters 'boring', like dude ive done it before, but i think im kinda over that edgy phase. also again, its for me and not for you so if you think shes boring, thanks for your input i dont care. but thinkign about it earnestly, i dfeintely dont want to make a character thats just no flaw and not interesting ofc, i havent done that with reclaimed pearl. that being said i havent like, probably written a lot demonstrating what i want her to be like instead of the canon pearl so, maybe ppl just are feeling lost with the lack of information.

personally, if i hear someone thinks a character is boring bc theyre not abusive anymore like, nothing of value has been lost. but characters do need flaws in order to create conflict and cause things to happen, like in a way canon pearl is like All flaw, which wouldnt be a problem except she gets away wtih all the horrible shit she did. heres some traits i want to explore with reclaimed pearl, some are similar to canon i just wanna go about it a different way: being overprotective/possessive to steven in a smothering way, projecting abandonment issues, not reaching out/communicating her emotions properly, lacking indepedence/self worth, depending on others to avoid confronting her own issues, being very passive and insecure and lacking initiative (this being the totally opposite trait that canon pearl has), stunting stevens development due to her not being ready for him to grow up and not need her anymore. and more, this is just from the top of my head. maybe thats still too 'boring' for ppl because shes not being selfish and inconsiderate enough to others so you can relate to her but i dont care :p

gosh how do i go about like, presenting the content i ahve in my head for this AU).. i cantjust remake the whole damn show. i would if i could, tbh

i have concerns about racist implications wrt (insert thing here about my redesign)

imma be frank. i dont know how to compltely 'clean up' any possible bad associations wrt pearl as a character given how like, rebecca has literally like, made her to be a slave in love with her slave owner and made it to be like, an uwu ideal lesbiab thing for most of the show until they tried to pretend no we understood the flaws in this dynamic all along and its bad actually , uhh, anyway shows over haha

ill say the main reason i changed her skintone is, bc that would be the like most instant way to make her look differnt from canon (which is vital for me for the reasons said above), and i did consider like, does this make the whole thing worse, or, ?? like, as they made it in the show, techincally All the gems are slaves to the diamonds, arent they? including all the very totally progressive poc based gems including and specially the ones who are made to be understood as black women. bruh like idk what to tell you this show is just fuckig bad sdlgkj like its just way too like, pervasive in my teen years forme to throw the baby w the bathwater entirely. and ill just straight up say it, like, im not a specialist on these topics nor do i hav ea position of authority to speak on about it. like the pearls read more clearly as slaves (very intentionally by the showrunners) bc they are meant to be subservient to gems Other than diamonds. and also bc they like fit in the stereotype of housemaid servant. like the rubies being made to just be forced to go and fight like they are slaves too, they have no rights and no like, authority to disobey or autonomy. but fsr like, slavery as in physical labor just doesnt immeidately set off ppls alarms as much as housework slavery does fsr.

i can only rly like change the canon so much and try to like, tweak things so it doesn feel as gross but i think for it to be cmpletely not insneistive at all youd have to throw away the whole show. and like i said, this isnt like me saying like im making the show good or as it shouldve been, im making it so I (and ppl who share my feelings about the show) can feel less shitty just thinking back to it. its just an exercise. im not like mass media im just one independent artist and shit will come out insensitve sometimes and im sorry but im also like, my art isnt meant to be representative and like, responsiuble for fixing all of society and racism like i actually cant do that. ill just do the best i can as an asian dude but like, if my work makes you upset, im sorry, but also just block me. like i cant please everyone. or like, even better, make YOUR take on pearl taht you feel would be better, like make the art you feel should exist.

this post is too damn long and id be surprised if anyone reads all of it but if you do, tahnk you! i felt kinda like ready to fight tonight so im triyng to redirect it from aggression to like, thinking. i cant guarantee im making new content for su reclaimed anytime soon but i would really like to, tbh

#su critical #steven universe reclaimed #ranting whatever blah blahb lah sdkjg

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vampkomori · 3 years ago

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i think with the information were given by the reports, we can figure out what Joshua may have been doing in the 3 years leading up to neo

i think the key lies in this specific part of neo’s reports

neo’s game resembles that of the game 3 years ago, though most specifically being point 2. The absence of the Composer

these are the circumstances of the game in the og reports. Notably, the only difference in circumstances being the mention of the Composers limitation of abilities (which is implied by his absence), and direct interference by the Executor.

As noted in both reports, Joshua is not allowed to interfere in the goings-on of the UG. To further prevent any potential meddling on his part, the Composer is required to leave the UG. As hes likely unable to/not allowed to tune into the frequency of the Higher Plane, and its specifically mentioned that he travels from the UG to the RG in the og reports, this means Joshua is residing in the RG while the Game is ongoing in neo.

Theres 3 points to address about this situation:

The limitation of his abilities, and what this might have to do with his appearance

The consequences his absence has on the UG

What he may have done in the 3 years the game was ongoing

First we should brush up on what his abilities actually entail

Usually, he can at least somewhat see the future. This ability is entirely absent when in the RG, he can draw conclusions about what might happen based on observations, but he cant predict the exact outcome. Note that this ability is specifically limited when hes downtuned. So when he looks like a normal guy and not a glowing blur in the shape of a person. Meaning that when he actually appears in the UG at the end of neo, he still cant see the future, and doesnt know whats going to happen.

As for the matter of his appearance, Reapers dont age. As seen in the ntwewy official guidebook, the reapers in og twewy are the same age as they are in neo. Sho is still 18, kariya is still 19, uzuki is still 17, etc. it doesn’t make sense for Reapers, who are so far beneath the Composer, not to age, but the Composer for some reason does?

BUT Joshuas been physically in the RG for the past 3 years, so its possible that that is the reason he aged. Post-neo he can stay in the UG again, so its possible hes going to remain physically 18 when he downtunes now. Think of it as like, time passes and causes his body to age as anyone else in the RG, but time stops in the UG, because it’s the “dead zone”

the reason neku aged while in Shinjuku is because Shinjuku is neither in the UG or the RG, it is in its own plane of existence. That plane just so happened to have time that passes, which lets you age like the RG would. (this might also be partially the reason why Coco is 19 of all ages in neo, even though she looks middle school aged in A New Day, 3 years ago. With her occasionally popping in for who-knows-how-long into Shinjuku to visit neku, she aged the amount of time she spent there most likely)

Anyway, it does not make sense for joshua to be able to choose what age he appears as when he downtunes. The reports specifically say he looks younger when he downtunes, and that its fortunate this prevents him from being recognized by reapers. Meaning that this is more of a happy accident and not purposeful in the slightest.

i know that one guidebook comment by Nomura has him state Joshuas appearance was to match Neku in appearance, but this was likely a design choice and not a willful decision by Joshua himself. You can interpret it however you like, but nothing in-canon ever points to Joshua being able to control his appearance when he downtunes, ever

Next up are the consequences of joshuas absence in the UG.

The Composer is the one who writes and changes the rules of the UG. Considering that in neo, the rules of the game were very much rewritten to match those of Shinjuku, it seems theres uh. Something kinda unlawful going on there. Which ill touch on in a moment, but first, more importantly, with joshuas absence in the UG and residing in the RG instead, the UG has been functionally without a Composer for 3 years, and therefore his established rules made invalid.

This should mean the UG should collapse, i mean, in og twewy he was only able to be absent for 3 weeks before the UG started to get somewhat unstable already. So theres no way the UG would be able to hold up without a Composer for 3 years……. unless?

An emergency call.

With Uzuki being made temporary Conductor and Game Master (neo uses these two terms interchangeably, for some reason) post-og twewy, she likely upheld Joshuas UG rules until Shiba usurped her. With Shiba being directly influenced by Kubo, he likely seized control over the UG instantly by issuing an Emergency call, which suspended Joshuas rules and gave complete authority to Shiba. Thus Shiba was able to completely rewrite the UG’s rules as if he were the Composer.

Small things such as the new appearance of the walls put up by wall reapers (now black thorns, and not just transparent walls), the new decals being two sets of poorly scribbled skulls, and the new Reaper Skull and its pins, all point to having been designed by Shiba, and then made by Kubo.

With Joshua not being allowed to intervene in the UG while his game with Kubo was ongoing, he also cannot ask his Producer to make pins, decals, etc. (especially since Hanekoma is also forbidden from intervening). That means Shiba wasn’t able to contact him to do it, either (or even knows he exists).

Hanekoma notes that as an Angel, Kubo is able to prepare special pins at will, so its likely this also extends to more than just pins.

Funnily enough this also means Shiba never even met Joshua despite being Shibuyas Conductor.

Though Joshua most likely wouldnt be allowed to even interact with his opponent’s proxy in the first place, its also hilarious to think Kubo never told Shiba about a Conductors responsibility to the Composer, or that its unusual the Composer never contacted him to contact the Reapers.

So, Joshua wasn’t exactly able to interject to the changes to his rules. His authority was literally overwritten by an emergency call due to his mandatory absence because of his game. (crappy loophole if u ask me)

Then what was Joshua doing for 3 years?

Staying in the RG in some way or form.

But most importantly, he mustve interacted with Beat, Rhyme, and Shiki for a significant amount of his stay.

the fact that Shiki refers to him as “Josh” points to her having gotten to know him well enough to refer to him as that nickname, especially since she never even met him in og twewy, and was only told about him by Neku.

in this same scene in jp, Beat calls him by his actual name “Joshua”, which is also notable for Beat, since he didnt even remember uzuki’s or kariya’s names after 3 years, and referred to joshua by a nickname when he was hounding him and neku during week 2 as a reaper in og twewy. which once again points to Beat having gotten to know him well enough to actually use his first name.

Theres also the matter of Beat, Rhyme and Shiki living outside of Shibuya.

we know that Beat and Rhyme must have lived near Miyashita Park in og twewy, because their accident happens by the Miyashita Park Underpass after Beat storms out after an argument with their parents. but in neo, Rhyme has to get to shibuya via train, and Beat tells her to go home and away from shibuya to stay safe, which means they mustve moved away from Shibuya sometime during these 3 years.

its likely Joshua may have a hand in them moving away (possibly because he mightve wanted to at least make sure Neku’s friends were safe from his game’s consequences after he returned Neku to the RG)

their move away from shibuya is significant because shiki is often away from shibuya as well. which notably means that all of nekus friends are safe from shibuyas potential destruction if joshua were to lose his game (again)

Shiki is often away from shibuya due to work, and while she does ardently pursue her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, this decision was likely encouraged by Joshua as well. though shiki does occasionally return to wait by hachiko for Neku, she might also have visited Joshua too. two birds one stone. or joshua bothered her whenever she was by hachiko, and eventually formed a friendship, which then extended to beat and rhyme.

this would also explain why Beat never suggests looking for the Composer in neo, because he knows Joshuas stuck in the RG and cant intervene.

as to why joshua doesnt intervene even though he was So eager to do so in og twewy... we dont know. in the reports, hanekoma suggests that it mightve been to teach shibuya a lesson about responsibility, but thats. kinda stupid honestly. i imagine the real reason might be tied to the Higher Plane and its politics, especially since Hanekoma mentions that the reason Hazuki intervened mightve been to bait Joshua into acting. which is weird on all accounts, since haz looks up to joshua as his senior and tells him he intervened to earn his forgiveness. so why hanekoma even got this impression might be related to him being in the Higher Plane and thus knowing more about the tension related to Joshua and his actions amongst the angels.

anyway, this concludes my case

#ntwewy spoilers #neo the world ends with you #neo twewy #twewy meta #underground and realground #joshua kiryu #vampymori.txt #i dont have any funky tags to add this round i rly said all there is to say abt the topic at this current time #i Sincerely believe its the case that joshua became friends with beat rhyme and shiki over the 3 years leading up to neo #and im Especially interested in exploring the potential bitterness neku might feel @ joshua for having gotten to know HIS friends #for longer and possibly even more closely than neku was able to before he was shot and sent to the UG again #especially since joshua was the one who sent him away for so long in the first place even if it was done for his own safety #i just really really love. the concept of joshua being good friends with beat and shiki #and neku hearing them know things abt joshua that HE doesnt even know #and hearing joshua know things about beat n shiki that HE doesnt know. even though he SHOULD because theyre HIS friends #LIKE!!! THE SPICE. THE BITTERNESS. THE GUILT OF FEELING THAT WAY.#not like neku would be miserable for long bc beat would NOT let this happen. hes going to cheer his homie up stat #but mmmm tension... guilt... consequences...

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gale-gentlepenguin · 4 years ago

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ML AU: In Another Life: Ladybug

Original post

-Flashbacks to Befana are the same. But then there are a few additional frames of Lila seeing Marinette and adrien act more couple like and it really grinds her gears.

-Like in the original episode. Lila is talking with Gabriel, acting as his spy.

-Lila uses this chance to try and bad mouth Marinette like in canon but insists she is not a good match for adrien, but Gabriel dismisses it.

-Lila decides to put her plan into action just like in canon. Her motive though was to give a reason for Gabriel to make his son end his relationship with Marinette.

-Gabriel tells her the ‘Deal’ is in place for now. But if he can revoke it if she doesnt live up to his expectations.

-The events that led up to Marinette’s bag getting examined are the same. And Miss bustier points out that she didnt miss a question.

-Alya calls out first that it wasnt her.

-Adrien also stands up saying that he studied for the mock examine with Marinette. (He is faster to defend his gf)

-Adrien also had a perfect score on the examine, because Marinette helped him with studying.

-Lila makes her comments and Marinette claims Lila set her up.

-The events that lead to Lila faking her fall down the steps are the same, including getting to the locker.

- The main difference here is that Adrien speaks up.

-”Hold on! I know marinette wouldnt do any of this! Lila, when did you last have your necklace?”

-Lila was not expecting the bold accusation, She makes a quick lie that she had it the other day.

-Adrien smiles.

-”Then there is no way Marinette could have taken the necklace! Marinette was with me at a photoshoot helping me study between breaks. She wouldnt have had the time to take the necklace.”

-Mr.Damocles was about to speak up saying there is still a lot to against Marinette, and the class chimes up to agree that Marinette wouldnt steal it or cheat.

-Chloé even points out that Marinette is too goody goody for shoving people.

-Alix commenting that “Its true, and if she would shove anyone, it would have been Chloé”

-Miss bustier actually does the teacher thing and comments that Marinette is her class rep and this is out of the ordinary for her.

-Lila failed to take into account how well liked Marinette is, and didnt anticipate Adrien would be so adamant about defending her.

-Mr.Damocles decides that this needs further investigation. He says that Marinette should go home for the day while he and the teachers discuss the situation. He apologizes to the Dupain family and will call them when they have worked through everything.

-Its not ideal, but no one is super angry, not enough for hawkmoth to try and pull off Scarlet moth 2.0. Which really disappoints him. Nathalie wasnt akumatized, but still faints from exhaustion.

- Causing Hawkmoth to focus on Nathalie and take her out of the lair.

-Marinette is at home, fuming over this whole thing. She knows Lila set her up. Alya is on the case to investigate it. Though she isnt blaming Lila directly yet, because she wants to find the facts, but she knows Marinette is innocent.

-Mayura still creates Sentibug like in canon.

-Adrien texted Marinette to make sure she was okay, and he tells her he is not letting Lila get away with this.

- He gets an alert just before he confronts lila like in canon about Ladybug fighting Mayura.

-He leaves and finds ‘Ladybug’ hurt.

-Ladybug says the words like she does in canon.

-”But... youre in love with someone else.” Chat noir knew this because its HIM.

-Mayura has sentibug spout a lie but Chat noir backs away. He doesnt buy it like he did in canon.

-Ladybug sees Chat noir backing away. Relieved her partner wasnt tricked

-”Glad to see that you can tell the difference between me and a copy.”

-”It wasnt easy, she didnt seem at all like the sentimonsters we faced before. She’s different.”

- The fight goes about the same as in canon, with the same lucky charm joke.

-They free sentibug. and tragedy occurs just like before.

-The events occur pretty much the same but the dialogue is a bit different. when she says that “Ladybug doesnt sound the same without chat noir” He comments that they are a great pair.

-”Easy there kitty, you know i am in love with someone else.”

-”I know, and he’s a lucky guy.”

-Lila was getting ready to go do the modelling deal, but Gabriel called her. Telling her, he was disappointed with her plan. He says that she can forget about modelling today. She needs to prove her worth.

-Lila is pissed, and she decides that she was going to add some grease to the wheels and get Marinette expelled. At least then she could get something out of the ordeal.

-A car shows up, Its Adrien. He tells her to get in.

-”You didnt listen to my warning. You went after someone I loved.”

-Lila attempts to insist that she didn’t do anything, but Adrien tells Lila that she’s going to tell another lie to prove Marinette’s innocence. That she would completely clear her of any wrongdoing

-Lila comments why she would do that.

-”Because you know that if it does go the other way, everyone will know who is responsible for Marinette getting kicked out of the school.”

- And Adrien then brings it all home “Because we are friends, arent we?”

-Lila felt a chill go down her spine. Adrien made it clear that he would do everything in his power to bring her down.

-Lila then lies her way to clear marinette of all wrong doing, and the investigation on Marinette is over. She isnt expelled and no permanent record damage.

-Marinette asks Lila why she fixed everything. Lila doesnt have a smug response, she just leaves without a word, swearing to herself that this wasnt over. Not by a long shot.

-Marinette goes to see Adrien who is happy to see her.

-”So I am guessing this was your doing.”

-Adrien smiles, he claims he has no idea what she is talking about.

-She kisses his cheek, and the episode ends.

#ml #ml au #miraculous ladybug #In another life au #ladynoir #adrinette #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi #adrien agreste #ladybug episode #alt ladybug #Lila karma #she is down but not out #in another life

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

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More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years ago

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This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior.

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together.

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

#Anonymous

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savnofilter · 4 years ago

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ive been getting a lot of hate asks and stuff about my dabi fic posted yesterday and i'd post about it now rather than leave for it later. *here is the comment that was in my fic that made some people upset. it's from the original doc and has now been edited out from the story itself.

when i had written it, it was ONLY in reference to the kink (chikan) itself since it is a popular genre in hentai's/pornos and an actual issue in Japan. "sick obsession" was in reference to the perversion of groping, not the people themselves. just like if i were to write something for ex; america, it would be something like, "america had a sick obsession for teacher and student relationships". the part itself just was not the best way to describe it since i directly am not from Japan. it wasnt meant to say that "japan people are xyz". i do not believe that Japanese people are rapists, and although it came across as that anyways, i do feel sorry about it because it wasnt my intention at all. if you know me, im one of the people who hate any type of stereotypes/jokes about asian people. in me explaining the quote, i am in no way excusing what was written, just explaining what i was thinking when i wrote it. i do now understand that it was insensitive, and it was my fault for even thinking it was a good idea to put in the story in the first place.

it didnt cross my mind that to any reader that it would be offensive and it's ironic considering it placed in anime fic of all places. the line wasnt removed to cover it up, it was deleted because i realized i had fucked up and didnt want anyone else to feel like that reading my story. for that anon and anyone else who took offense to it i am very sorry because i really didnt think it through and there isnt an excuse for it. just poor judgement and writing.

the second issue is that people were saying i condone/support rape now because they think the reader gets assualted in the fic. i do not write rape nor do i condone it. never in the story does reader get raped and i even state that Dabi wouldnt do that to someone (because i believe he wouldnt), especially to someone he does/nt know. in my fics i always make sure to add in that either character x reader know each other and have discussed such kink, and or character gets a definite answer to reader that they (reader) wants it. even if i were to write it, it would be for something plot wise and not just "yes good assualt" and the whole story wouldnt sexualize it. yes it was poor timing, and yes i still believe in everything ive said before and even now.

since we're on the topic of consent fics anyways, i had also freshly started receiving hate about writing dub-con only after i had made a callout post (back in july) and all that jazz. from then, i have even stepped up from my earlier works to put in the tags to make sure that it does not come across someone's dash who doesnt want it. in addition to this, i have used better warnings on my works as well. since i think it's important to discuss it now, i will talk about what i write. 45/55 of the time when i do write dub-con, it isnt for the ✨ kink ✨ or to sexualize the moment. i am embarrassed and ashamed to admit it since i have never talked about my personal life ever on my blog so to open up about this is hard and i dont want people to perceive this as an excuse, just the p.o.v of where i produce my works.

please do not make fun of or mock me, it's hard enough talking about this as is. many events in my life have led to shaping me into thinking/believing that intercourse has to be reluctant at first to really enjoy it. since i also have enough trust issues on my own to physically cope with it, i use writing for it instead. and no, this has nothing to do with aforementioned callout post either. of course i know now from proper treatment and working on myself that sex isnt supposed to be like that but it's just my outlet with getting it out. my issue with people who write non-con/rape have not experienced it or focus it mainly on being assualted just because it makes the story "hot", which doesnt sit right with me. not only this, they do not tag/warn properly either, which i do (explanation in blue).

as a reader i do think you can send me asks like, "hey, i dont like that you did this" because i can always keep that criticism in mind for my later stories. had it been an ask (or asks) that had been genuine concern would have been fine, but the fact that people are sending around a screenshot and jumping to make posts so they can get a chance to bully me again is the same toxicity i was talking about. if you were actual supporters of mine (whether you didnt like what i wrote or not), why was the thought of sending it to people who hate me the first thought to do? were you expecting me to say i didnt do it? unlike most people i can admit to my own wrongdoings.

its the fact that REAL people were offended and you guys are using it for your sad agenda to have everyone hate me. you guys are OBSESSED with stalking me even though you cant stand me. bringing up old callout posts and then trying to shove words into my mouth that arent there show very clearly what yalls true motives are. capitalizing on my mistakes and waiting for moments where i say something you dislike is NOT you playing hero, youre just toxic people waiting for an outlet to abuse someone. stop pretending to care about issues when you dont. any asks/etc related to this that are just straight up hate will not be answered.

#tw racism #tw; racism #tw rape #tw; tape #tw noncon #tw; noncon #discourse #sav talks

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thefiveavengers · 5 years ago

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jester and sexuality/romantic inclinations

so, this is my last day of summer break (actually the day before last, but tomorow is monday) and I decided to put into words what my thoughts about this dicey, dicey subject are. First, these are solely my opinons based on 1) watching the second campaign, 2)watching talks machina and the meta knowledge that comes with that and 3) assuming the players are playing in good faith and are open minded to organic changes that might come to their characters along the way.

and second, I do have my biases, and I come from the following inclinations: I ship lavorregard, and I don’t believe Jester is straight.

That said let’s begin. I’ve written a far amount about the lavorregard ship, but mostly focused on Beau’s feelings and her perspective. Right before the ep that Beau reveals the crush to Nott I wrote the following: “ If I were to put a chronology on Beau’s feelings for Jester it would go something like that: 1)“This girl is cute and somehow I like her way more than I usually like, well, anybody” 2) “This girl is cute and we are… friends???” 3) “This girl is cute, we are friends and I love her” 4) “We are friends, I love her AND I think she is hot” 5) “This girl is hot, I love her and maybe I love her as more than friends?”

But last ep I think it shifted to, “I’m definetely into Jester as more than friends and she’s never been hotter AND I think I’m getting to a point where I’m ready to actually process my feelings regarding that and be open about it.”

And lo and behold, the very next ep we saw Beau actually processing her feelings when talking to Nott. But what about Jester?

I’ve seen some people express the idea that “wouldn’t it be galaxy brain if all three cr ladies had independently decided when creating their characters that they are lesbians?” and honestly, while a cute thought, I don’t think that’s what’s happening. In my opinion what happened was, Marisha created Beau as a lesbian and she made sure to make that clear as possible from the get go, and one of the reasons I think she did that is because she entered the campaign looking to avoid a pc/pc romance, since the one she was in in cr1 took such a toll on her. She probably figured it would be a safe bet, playing a lesbian she would shield herself from the male characters and most likely the other female characters would not be interested in Beau, right?

Enter Ashley Johnson. Honestly I don’t think Ashley had such a clear idea that Yasha was (or is) a lesbian. She had a wife, and from what has been said in canon Zualla was her only romantic and sexual relationship. Now, from what we’ve seen Yasha hasn’t expressed any interest in men, but to be fair she hasn’t really expressed interest in much anybody. She called Jester adorable in the very first ep and she seems to be fond of Beau’s flirtations even if not directly responding to them. The conversation where Yasha has said that she has “seen {Beau} a lot” coupled with one of the songs in Yasha’s playlist has me convinced that Yasha has some kind of feelings for Beau, even if is just a small crush. And I say this as someone who doesnt ship Beau/Yasha. I don’t think they would make a good match, but that doesn’t mean I’d deny either of them having interest in the other. But that doesn’t mean Yasha is for sure a lesbian who would never engage with a men ever. She seems pretty adamant on not having any romantic connections, so its hard to gauge really where her interests lie. She is for sure though a wlw.

Now, when it comes to Jester and Laura Bailey that’s when things get complicated. I would assume that most of us that have considered the possibility of Jester not being straight have read the excellent essay on comphet by tumblr user fuzzy-face ( https://fuzzy-face.tumblr.com/post/185001577009/you-make-your-own-fairytale-jester-comphet ), so I’m not gonna rehash what she’s said already. While I do agree almost wholeheartedly with this post, I’ll say this, I don’t think Laura Bailey when creating Jester set out to tell a story of a wlw learning how to overcome comphet. But (BUT!,!) I also don’t think her idea was Jester is totally straight and that’s that! I think she created Jester as a sexually and romantically inexperienced young woman that almost immediately got a crush on Fjord because, among other reasons, he reminded her of a hero from her smut books.

Recently, with the new upload of talks to the CR youtube channel, I rewatched this talks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZqJzNj_1tI , which is about the ep a Hole in the Plan, deep into the pirate arc, but before the first big Beau/Jester moment, the conversation they had in the boat on ep 46. First I must express my annoyance at the fact that Laura and Marisha are the guests and yet at least 80% of the questions are about Fjord. I know it was in his arc, but COME ON! Also I was very surprised by how open they are talking about Fjord/Jester as if it were a done deal alaready. When anyone involved in Talks claim that they don’t do shipping questions, you should show them this ep because it is all about shipping questions. Anyways, Laura clearly states that Jester has a crush on Fjord (at the time at least) and she compares it to a super intense high school crush. So to me there is no refuting the fact that at least at some point Jester had a crush on Fjord.

What I do find it interesting is when you compare her answers in that talks to what she said in the most recent talks she’s participated ( https://youtu.be/_NmZ2b_Q3So ) which seem to at least indicate that Jester has, on a level or another, moved on from said crush. It’s also, the now infamous moment where Laura talks about Jester’s crush...es. We’ll get back to that.

That’s all good and dandy, but this is meta outside the game. Let’s go analyze actual in-game developments. As far as I can remember (and I’m not an expert in Fjord/Jester, so I might be forgetting something) these are the moments Jester spoke directly or inderectly about her crush on Fjord; when Caleb point blank asked her if she was sweet on him (to which she answered “I don’t know” and let’s keep that in mind); when she talked to nott about first kisses and the best thing she can say about it is that it didnt make her feel dead, and to me the most significant moment; when she asks the traveler how to make a boy like her. Now, I’ve seen some people band about this as irrefutable proof that Jester IS straight, otherwise she wouldnt be asking the traveler advice about boys, but in this case she wasn’t talking about boys in general, she was talking about ONE boy and that was Fjord.

And that’s the crux of the matter isn’t it? Jester has demonstrated sexual/romantic interest in one man and one man alone, and that’s fjord. That does not mean she is straight. It doesn’t even mean that she, if a wlw, is bi. Her crush on Fjord has been wrapped around in all these expectations and I think its hard to parse how much was just projecting, among other things, the romance her parents had. Also, let me comment on how all these developments were long ago, during the pirate arc, over one year ago in real time.

Jester has commented about Fjord’s appearance and Caleb’s and even pointed out to Reani that hot boi Essek was hot, but its all done very matter-of-factly. And if we are going to talk about Jester commenting on people’s apperances we have to acknowledge how Jester cannot SHUT UP about how she finds women beautiful. From Beau to Nott, from Reani to random shop girl in Uthodurn and her obssession with the Bright Queen in particular its all very in your face. Once someone wanted to argue with me that this is just how straight girls air their insecurities, and even if that’s true and not just misogyny, the only time Jester commented on a woman’s apperance with any kind of insecure note was one time when she compared herself to her mother.

Look, the thing is, if we take at face value every comment Jester has made about Fjord’s looks and strenght, we also have to take at face value how distraught she looked and sounded facing the idea that Beau’s new vestiments wouldn’t let her abs show. Is it funny? Yes, but it’s funny for the idea that Jester is very appreciative of Beau’s abs, which, I’m still waiting for the straight explanation if anyone if willing to give me.

To end, this goddamned book that I’ve started, the thing that gives me the most certainty that Jester is not straight and that a Beau/Jester romance is not only possible but likely is that I do not believe Laura Bailey is cruel. If she had no interest in exploring the possibility of a not-straight Jester and a B/J romance she wouldn’t been doing what she has been doing for awhile now.

And what do I mean about that? I mean that even before Beau’s confession there’s been a different dynamic to their relationship. I already mentioned the “but can I see her abs????” incident, but also her encouragement about beau’s qualities and abilities (beau, you’re super strong), using the traveler as a proxy to her feelings (the traveler thinks you’ll do great, the traveler thinks you’re awesome, the traveler loves you), waiting to hold beau when she went up a column and showing disapointment when she didnt fell into her arms, listening to Beau regarding her wanting to confront her dad, being super, and I mean SUPER bummed out when Beau and Reani kissed and took a walk. And after the confession things ramped up.

Like, that was Laura Bailey listening to the conversation between Nott and Beau, not Jester. She could have had continued to play out their friendship as usual, but that’s not what she did. She used this opportunity to play the romantic possibility as never before. Making sure that Jester shielded Beau’s body in combat, being VERY specific that when her double cured her, she leaned over her body and put her hands to her face and even contradicting Matt, pointing out that when she woke up, it wasn’t the laughing hand that she first saw, but Jester’s face. And then there’s ep 89, the juiciest lavorregard ep since ep 46. It’s romantic comedy set up, one character confesses their love to a third one, and the one character who is the target of that love starts a conversation with “Are you avoiding me? Because I think I know why.” That’s a romantic trope ladies and gents, and Laura Bailey the genius she is played it to perfection. Not being sure why she was so upset about not curing Beau (a sentiment that battle mercy Jester has never expressed before). Wanting to punish Beau’s dad for not treating her right, getting to an agreement after arguing about tarot and molly. Afterwards engaging Fjord in an activity that she usually associates with beau, that goes disastrously and thanks to the dice gods, I could see, in real time the comphet melting away.

And concluding with the fact that she bet 20 extra gold on Beau on the down low.

So coming back to the idea of Jester having crush...es, to me is very clear those crushes are, the one she has/had on Fjord and her new emerging one on Beau. do I think Jester herself is aware of these feelings? Not really, but Laura sure is.

look this is not about being entitled or acusing anyone of queerbaiting if my ship doesnt pan out. its just, you know, laura’s sister is a lesbian, and I do think that gives people some perspective that they might not have, and I genuinely don’t think she would be playing things as she is, if she didn’t have any interest in playing out to the end.

#critical role #jester #jester lavorre #beaujester #lavorregard #this got super long and took me a few hours #but anyways these are most of my feelings regarding queer jester

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molusca · 4 years ago

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she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

#well. good morning #anon

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honeysuckle-writings · 5 years ago

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Part one PG Amasai

**This is like the first thing I've ever posted on here. So I hope you enjoy it? I'd love to continue if you do.**

'One, two, three...FUCK.'

"Mr. Saihara?"

'Just one more time... I'll finally get it.'

"Saihara."

'One, two, THREE.'

A loud thunk echoed, bringing the boy in question out of his thoughts. Saihara had been thumbing away at his portable gaming console and not giving any thought to the people around him, including the teacher that was now looming over him, with a book in hand that he had hit the desk with. Saihara must have lost track of time and didnt realize class had started. Shit.

"Uh..uhm.." Saihara began to stutter out.

"Uh uh." The teacher interrupted. "You know the drill."

"Y-yeah I do. Im-m sorry." What was he supposed to do? A new mini game had just come out for his favorite series, Danganronpa. Did people just expect him not to beat it the day it released just so he could have bragging rights? No one understood.

Unfortunately he had to stay after school for an hour or two as punishment. Not that it bothered him. He didn't exactly care to be at home. He would just end up hiding away in his room with his laptop anyway.

He lived solely with his Uncle who was a detective so he wasn't home that often. He never really knew what happened to his parents. He had been told quite a few different stories but they were never the same so Saihara gave up asking. Having detention would just pass time until dinner.

He put away the console into his messenger bag and continued trying to pay attention to the rest of the class. Key word being tried; His mind always wandered. He would always end up studying and doing well on his own so he would often daydream while in classes. He could just pick up where he left off in the game at lunch.

Two more hours rolled by just like normal. During transition times he would quickly zoom through the crowd to get to the next classroom without having to face any humiliation from bullys. He really didn't feel like battling them today.

Finally he had reached lunch time. He'd finally be able to play again. Saihara had packed a fruit bowl and a bottle of water into his bag this morning for lunch, so there was no need to crawl through the lines of students trying to buy their lunch.

He dashed to the back of the school. It had finally begun to turn autumn. The trees were all different shades of reds, yellows, and oranges while the brown ones had fallen to the ground. With each step he relished in the sound of them crushing. The cool air made it the perfect time to be outside. He had found a tree on the outskirts of the campus line and let his bag slump off his shoulder.

"Bout time you get here." A voice called from behind him.

"I'm s-sorry Akamatsu. I was trying to get here as, as fast as I could." He turned to face the blonde girl behind him. Her signature resting bitch face glaring at him.

"Did you bring the game?" She asked in a low tone. It felt like they were doing a more illegal exchange.

"Of course I-I did. Do you th-think I'm dumb?" Saihara was almost offended. Akamatsu was one of the only people he knew that loved Danganronpa too. Not as much as him of course, but she did have the same aspirations as him.

"No. Just stupid." She responded bluntly before sitting down on the ground beside his bag.

"Ha ha." He faked a laugh and joined her. She had her hands inside of his bag digging out the console. He didnt mind, he was used to her being very abrasive. He opted for looking around while she booted up the game.

Suddenly his heart began to have palpitations and his stomach started twisting. Off in the distance his eyes were glued on a tall man with green hair lighting up a cigarette as he went to cross over to the convinient store. Many of the more, rough students would go there to smoke or create chaos.

"Hey I fucking swear if you drool on yourself I'm going to take this home with me and hold it for ransome." Akamatsu called out to him.

Saihara wiped his mouth and frowned. "S-sorry."

The green haired man's name was Rantaro Amami, and Saihara had the biggest crush on him. Amami had already been in one of the killing games and survived. Saihara had watched every episode, with his crush growing more and more as he watch Amami help figure out the blackened. He almost didn't know how to react when he saw him in school. He was a celebrity, an idol, to Saihara. They hadn't even spoke but Saihara had thought of the most inappropriate fantasies involving the two of them. He vowed that one day he would finally open up to him. Whether it be during school or perhaps they could be on a season together. The thoughts sent shivers down Saihara's spine.

"You might as well talk to the guy." Akamatsu had begun pressing buttons and working through the beginning of the game on her own save file. "What's the worst that could happen? He says no?"

"Punch m-me and tell me t-to fuck off." Saihara answered.

"Okay but you'd get off on that so I dont see a problem here." Damnit she really did know him.

"Maybe one day."

"You say that everytime."

"Okay jeez." He tipped the hat he always wore down over his eyes a bit more, slightly embarrassed. Amami had already crossed over to the store and out of sight much to Saihara's dismay.

They stayed pretty quiet after that. Akamatsu stuck in the game and Saihara left to watch and help if she needed it, though most of the time she didn't. The hour flew by and Saihara watched for another sign of Amami. He had finished his fruit with Akamatsu's help.

"Fuck we're gunna have to go back to class. I dont want to." Akamatsu saved her place and sat it down on the ground near Saiharas bag.

Saihara looked away from the store and back to his friend. "Lucky me, I have to stay after school for a bit."

"Sucks." She stood up and brushed flakes of leaves off of her skirt. "Can I take the game while you're locked up?"

Saihara huffed. "Fine. B-but you cant take it home. I'll find y-you and kill you."

"Dont make promises you cant keep." She grabbed it off the ground and started back towards the school. "See you fucker." He watched her disappear before he stood up himself.

He slung the bag over his shoulder and looked over at the store once more. Perhaps he had just missed Amami. He huffed at the thought and gripped the strap of his bag before making his way to his next class. The kids had already scattered and the last thing he needed was to be late and have to stay even longer.

The crunch of leaves turned into steps on pavement as he followed the small groups of kids into the school.

"Hey freak!"

Fuck. Saihara knew that voice. Kaito Momota, the schools biggest asshole.

Without thinking Saihara began to sprint and push people out of the way.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Suddenly he was stopped after he hit directly into the back of someone. He fell on to his knees and caught himself with his hands. Oh god he was embarrassed.

The person he had run into didnt get nearly as affected. They had just been pushed forward slightly.

Saihara started to sputter an apology as he noticed their feet had turned to face him. His eyes slowly raised from the person's shoes, to their brown cardigan, to their face- Amami.

Amami stood over him with a scowl on his face and dark eyes.

Oh god Saihara was on his knees in front of him. His face immediately flushed.

"Oh m-my god I'm s-sorry. I didn't-"

"Didn't see me?" Amamis low voice finished his sentence. Amamis voice was so sensual, it did things to Saihara that he wouldnt admit to anyone else. Not even Akamatsu.

"Yeah, uhm."

"You going to get up?" Amami crossed his arms and Saihara had to keep from drooling at the sight of them and the thought of his hands grabbing him and-

"Alright suit yourself." Amami turned to leave.

This brought Saihara out of his daydream and he quickly stood up. "No!"

"Excuse me?" Amami stopped.

"I-I I mean uhm. No I n-need to apologize." Saihara knew he had to be as red as the color on Amamis loose tie.

"Okay. Go on."

"Uhm, I'm sorry f-for running into you."

"Okay."

"Hey you cant out run me!" Oh great, just what he needed. Amami to see just how much of a weakling he was.

Saihara bit his lip and looked toward Momota.

Momota walked up to the two of them, glaring at Amami. The tension between the two was something Saihara was not prepared for.

"The fuck are you doing Momota?" Amami questioned him.

"Look stay outta my business. The kid and I got some catch up to do."

"Dont you have anything better to do than compensate for your tiny ass dick." Amami didnt miss a bit nor was he phased by Momota.

"Do you want me to fuck you up right here pretty boy?"

"I'm not into that. Now leave."

Momota seemed to be thrown off at the comment and he glared at Saihara. He took this as a warning for next time. With that, Momota stormed off.

Saihara was grateful. No one had ever gotten Momota to leave like that.

"Amami. Thank you."

"Shut. Dont drag me into your shit anymore. I already deal with him."

"I-im sorry?" Saihara was not quite expecting the response. He knew Amami was a little cold but he was not prepared.

"Just be careful next time." Amami turned and walked off.

That response seemed, somehow softer. Amami was turning out to be very confusing and it only intrigued Saihara more.

#do i continue #hgdyjkbgfhvb #danganronpa #drv3 #pregame #pregame danganronpa #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #kaede akamatsu #kaito momota #pregame saihara #pregame amami #pregame akamatsu #pregame momota #amasai

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rainbowdoom32 · 6 years ago

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So I'm going to start identifying myself as aspec. Previously I identified as a bisexual aromantic but upon furthur consideration I might be asexual.

I'm posting about this b/c 1) it puts it out there and makes the lable feel more real and tangible

2) I know some of y'all IRL or on a personal enough basis that I feel you should know

3) A queers need more visibilty in gen

4) cause I want to talk abouy it

So Idk how to do a read more and am on mobile so if you dont want to hear about what being aspec means to me start scrolling now

So. In the aspec community (do we have a better word?) theres an overwhelming discourse about sexual and romantic repulsion. For those of you who dont know thats when the idea of sex , sexual content, sex itself, the idea of romance, romantic gestures, and/or romantic content acts as a squick for you it creates some spectrum of a revulsion in you to be confronted with one or more of these things. Its an overwhelming discourse for many reasons but the one I want to talk about is that it makes it obvious that your ace or aro if your repulsed by sex or romance. The process for discovering your aspec identity is easier in a way, specifically in a way it isnt for me.

See I dont experience sexual or romantic repulsion. I like romance stories and porn. I actively seek these things out. I'm not put off by discussions of others romantic or sexual lives (specific aspects may repulse me but in general I'm interested in these especially when coming from people I care about). So naturally as a teenager I never considered myself as aspec. i considered myself bisexual almost immediatly (there was a thing where I thought I was tricking myself into thinking I liked women to be included in the queer community. More on that later) it took two very short very middle school esque (one took place my sophmore year) relationships and an accidental internet encounter with the concept of aromantisim for me to realise that the reason this wasnt working for me was because I didnt really want it.

The more I thought of myself as aro the more things made sense. At the slumber parties as a kid I never had a crush to confess. Those two failed relationshios? Guy friends I'd gotten real close to and thought my new stronger friendship feelings must be what romantic attraction feels like. Also the real sticker, I dont get jealousy in romance at all. Like that one goes over my head. I dont understand why cheating is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship to the point that people who've been sucked into a cycle of abuse and have become convinced everything is their fault will snap when they discover they were cheated on. That is absolutly mind boggling for me.

The point of that is I never got that ew ick romance feeling. As a reult the road to discovering I was aromantic was long and and full of doubt. Doubt that went along the lines of "Maybe I just havent found the right person". Which also happens to be the exact thing my mum says to me everytime I try to explain that Im aromantic to her. Bisexuality she understands and accepts. This she doesnt. So even though I know intellectually theres no right person for me that niggling doubt remains andit haunts me.

Now im going to devolve a bit here and I know what this sounds like but im seriously not trying to be offensive just explain something

See I read a fanfic recently. I dont remeber how I found it but it was a Stony fic and the story and the set up were very romantic cliche. Basically Steve was Tony's booty call it evolves to friends with benefits Steve falls in love. Textbook stuff. But see theres a wrench because the author identifies as aromantic is with the definition we have aromantic. They write their identity onto Tony. Thats something we do in fanfic and in writing. But the problem I ran into is this: the author identifies as aromantic because they experience romantic repulsion(yes they told me this) so in the fic Tony is in love with Steve but experiences romantic repulsion. The idea of romance of romantic commitment makes him anxious and sick. This is how the author feels FWB allows them to experience intimacy without triggering their repulsion. Identifying as atomantic makes them feel not broken. This so good right? This is why we have labels

Except. When I read this part of the story it hurt me. Directly. See Tong Stark has Daddy Issues. Ehen the author wrote about Tony's romantic repulsion narritevly they tied it into Tony's not nice childhood. I dont know specifically why it wasnt part of thwir explanation when I told them their story hurt me. I didnt ask. But this narritive decision made what was essentially was an author expressing their experience as an aromantic in a story feel like a personal attack against my aromantic identity.

See when I read that what I read was "Tony Stark cant commit to an actual relationship with Steve Rogers because Howard Starks Grade A parenting fucked up his ability to recieve expressions of love and his ability to commit. Tony Stark is in romantic love with Steve Rogers but his childhood trauma prevents him from expresing it in the traditional manner this is what being aromantic is"

That hurt. Because it hit that little doubt in my head about not having met the "right person" and mixed it up with some childhood trauma made you a broken person. It also hit me while I felt safe. Romance stories are my escapism. Their like an extra element of fantasy in a story for me. I specifically seek out romantic stories as a comforting mechanism. Fanfics in particular because of their inclusivity. I was in my safe space, and I was whammed in a sore spot.

The problem is though the author has a right to that story and that label and to express themselves. We usually draw the line at self expression where it hurts other people but thats not what happened here. What happened here was definitial confusion. The author and I were using "aromantic" to describe two different but similar romantic orientations. In doing so we hurt each other ironically in the same way. We both said to each other "Your identity is wrong and toxic you hurt people and yourself by expressing it the way you do". (I left a comment saying how her story affected me)

When I say I'm aromantic I mean I experience no romantic feelings. None nada zilch. The idea that I might one day experience a type of romantic feeling is an aggression against me. The same way the idea that gay people can choose to be straight is an aggression against being gay.

But I can't invalidate someone else to protect myself. What do I do? I dont want to hurt myself and I dont want to hurt other people? Idk

And now to why I no longer identify as bisexual.

I'm a virgin. Because most peoples first time is with someone their in a romantic relationship with. And we'll I dont do that. Im also a socially anxious person. I have no idea how to instogate a sexual encounter and honeslty I wouldnt feel comftorable dping it with someone I couldnt trust or alternatively someone I'm friends with and would have to continue being juat friends with in post we had sex awkwardness. So ive never had an opportunity to have sex.

But I also havent sought them out. And I dont feel particularly driven to. These are reasons to think your asexual but I'm sure it's also the experience of many introverted and secually awkawrd people. And it's not like I couldnt have sex at some future point. Even now if an opportunity arose I might say yes, of only to confirm my asexuality.

The thing that has made me actually consider if I'm ace tho is a weird quirk of mine. I cant get off to prom videos. I use lit erotica. Why? Cause the idea that those are real live people puts me off. Porn stars and amateur porn makers know people get off watching their videos. Theyre okay with that. But I'm not. At all. Thats a big ol nope for me.

See I'm a ciswoman. Which means I have a clitoris. An organ whose only purpose is to provide pleasure. As everyone knows reciving pleasure via the clit requires no participation by a second person. The fact that my clitiros functions as intended and that I use it isnt sexual attraction.

Thats a new idea for me. But it's true isnt it? Sexual attraction is about other people. And sure I can appreciate other people's hotness. But just because I think a horse is pretty doesnt mean I want to fuck it. Remeber that thing about thinking I was faking bisexuality?? I was right. I wasnt sexually attracted to women. But what I hadnt bothered to consider because of heteronormativity was that I wasnt sexually attracted to men either.

Other fun fact in case you might be an ace person who's read this far (why? Also hi Katie and possibly Sadie but definelty Nishat. No im not implying any of you are ace) I dont have sex dreams. But I do have dreams in which I masturbate. So stick that jn your pipe and smoke it.

Anyways these are all experinces that I have that I feel neccessry to share to make it so the repulsion story isnt the only one out there. And also to start a discourse about how experiencing and not experiencing repulsion affect aspec experience. Thanks for reading!

#aro #ace #aromantic #aromantism #asexuality #aspec #lgbt #lgbtqa

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iceamericanoventi · 6 years ago

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Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face.

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

“Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

#shinee fiction #shinee scenario #LWFAWWE

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yuichiroe · 7 years ago

Text

So this is going to address everything i have been accused of by @yuichrio in the past. Some of this will be me debunking and some of this will be me blatantly admitting to stuff i have done wrong. Im going to be using screenshots from yuus post about me.

Theres going to stalking mentions and suicide mentions and for a vrief moment there is a drug mention so be wary of that. Here is the original post abouit me

Lets just start from the beginning of their post abt me

apparently this started in 2015 shortly after i had broken up with yuu. it was a very messy breakup that i dont want to get into.

he claims that after i had broken up with him, i started using his typing style and started iding as ciel out of no where (which he had ided as at the time)

He uses this as proof/context of me taking his format/style

i will not be commenting on this as i cannot really... remember much from 2015 and maybe i had an unearthly grudge against him back then but honestly i cant say much bc i cant remember.

then he fast fowards to 2017

like he says in the post, me and him were on ok terms by this time. he says he has no idea i had even been following him until one of his friends told him i was following him. i had been following yuu for a long time on vent and after a while i knew it was him but never directly approached him or really even interacted with him much because i had no ill feelings regarding him at the time and didnt care to start anything with him.

anyways back in january, yuu attempted to commit suicide(im only bringing this up because he did). and a week later, i list yuichiro hyakuya on my me page. he’s ided as yuu for a very long time, and anyone whos been mutuals with him for a while will know that. He made a post abt it on ig and he has addressed my responses to the post.

Here, i say i have been hiding that id for about a month. which right here, that was a lie. i had just started iding as yuichiro.. probably a few days ago. But, under that where i say i had been questioning for a few months is very true. they get dms from their friend of a hidden account i made when i ided as not yuu but mika.

so to explain, his friend showed him a secret account in which i ided as mika. i tagged myself in art of mika and my boyfriend at the time as yuichiro. Let me explain this in the best way possible since all the other times i had tried to explain, yuu either interrupted me or kept refuting with ‘LOL U HAVENT BEEN QUESTIONING FOR MONTHS’. i had. i had tried to get into owari no seraph many times before this happened. no one has to believe my word on this, and since i have no proof, this can totally be disregarded. i didnt want to id as yuu at first because i actually liked having yuu as a friend. he was a nice mutual. i also didnt want to start petty kin drama with him either. i knew he’d blow up on me. so, i ided as mika instead for a few days. i wanted to see if it would feel like an okay coping id as thats what i thought yuichiro would only be if i decided to id as him. i dont remember if i was planning on sbing him at the time because his boyfriend ids as mika and i knew he’d still be uncomf but i didnt know if he’d blow up. in turn, i made a secret kin account to try and see if iding as mika felt right. Obviously, seeing how most of my identity revolves around yuichiro, it didnt. i had to drop the id within two days because it never felt like me.

this is why it was posted on the same day. you can write this off as bullshit, but this is my explanation.

he now says despite me being white, i went by yuu. which is entirely my bad. i have since then used yuu as an alternate name which isnt something i ever should have done. Now here is where things get Messy.

so here i am, giving frustrated and annoyed responses. this is because he was so intent on me trying to steal his identity and be him. And by now ‘identity’ doesnt just mean me iding as yuichiro. he claims that i have stolen traces of his personality and maybe even his personality as a whole. This whole situation here can be refuted with the above ‘questioning’ explanation. i had lied about me being yuu for a few months, but the questioning argument still stands as that was 100% the truth.

when he addressed this, i acted out of anger and annoyance and insulted him and just left my account because at the time, i was 99% sure he wasnt going to listen to my explanations and were intent on him being right. i wasnt in the right for just abandoning my account without talking this out maturely and just giving sarcastic responses, but this is what happens when im called out on stuff, even if it was true or not. i apologize for sarcastic and aggressive behavior. this probably couldve been avoided if i had just tried to explain myself in a calm manner.

i had moved accounts after this. i would sometimes go back on it to see if yuu was talking shit about me, to which he had eventually found out about and sbed said account. now, he shows dms of me ‘cutting off’ people that do not agree with me and

i am going to shed light on these dms.

this person and i have a bad past in general, they have accused me of things i will not go into now, but to shed light on This situation here, they had been making me uncomfortable for a few week anyways. they said they would support me being mikaela when i admitted to them i was going to id as mika for the time being. then, they turned around on me and sent yuu some stuff that i had told them about me being mikaela as receipts on me. so not only had they made me very uncomfortable, but they had broken my trust in them and i didnt want contact with them anymore. to show why i was uncomfortable with this person, here is a screenshot of them vagueing me on their ig account after we had ‘made up’ for past situations.

so yeah you can see why i was uneasy in the first place. they were jealous of my bf and i being closer than i was to them. they later apologized, but i didnt completely forgive them as it made me and my bf WILDLY uncomfortable about her. so yeah, them breaking was trust was the last straw and i cut her off. Here is another instance of mecutting someone off that they show

NOW THIS... .Ohhhh h hhhh hhm ygod this is a fucking. Okay. this was my qpp. i had recently broken off from being qpps with him because of his drug addiction. He knew drugs made me uncomfortable and yet he still posted about him being high as hell on sleep meds and texted me about whenever he was fucked up and would always crytype his was out of situations . i would frequently vent about him to my bf at the time and after a while, he got upset about me being closer to my bf than i was to him. (i had only been qpps with him for a few weeks, maybe even less and i had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and had stronger feelings for him.) i have very little receipts on the shit hes said to me bc i have since blocked him on multiple accounts and do not have access to his vent accounts. him and i had cut ties Multiple times after i broke off being qpps with him, but he kept coming back to me and telling me he loved me which i didnt want to hear anymore. after the drama with yuu (even though he stated 3028534905840958 times that he couldnt hate anyone because it was ‘against his morals’) he posted some Very ugly shit about me.

this is all i can dig up because i think i had deleted most of the screenshots because i hated seeing them in my camera roll. but there were Many posts like this of him wanting me to kill myself and for craig to leave me.

he made up shortly after this drama but i didnt accept it or forgive him.

now, back to the yuu drama.

what edna claimed i copied for the ‘clicky clicky’ thing was on my blog where the links where i put ‘clicky clicky!’ and yuu had that in his links. While it was a petty thing to accuse me of and i have to admit, i didnt copy it from his blog, he did have the same thing on his links.

at this point i was vaguing people on tumblr that were involved in this drama

and i had yuu blocked and i did try to unblock him multiple times at his request, but for some reason on mobile it will not let me unblock people.

heres a screenshot of me being immature and avoiding the problem yet again.

heres a half assed apology from me and after that i left it all alone and so did he.

skipping to march 2017

i requested him on vent out of paranoia and i wanted to know if he had any vent of him talking shit about me. at the time, i went by a different name and had different ids listed but i quickly changed everything back. he got uncomfortable with me very quickly out of paranoia of him thinking i was going to steal is bf from him just because i was friends with him. mika was a sweetheart but i am not a homewrecker + i am 99% sure i was dating someone at the time Lol.....

skip to april 2017

i send another apology to which i later admit it was only to follow them to see if yuu was talking shit... i will get into that later when it comes up again.

here is me ‘admitting’ to everything they have accused me of. this was mostly bs and to try to End this shit. i did get the idea to id as yuu from yuu bc? i wouldnt have really found out abt o////w////ari/// no se///ra///ph at the time if not because of yuu and his bf. i am not going to get into the iding outside of my race thing now. at the time. i had not been trying to separate myself from nonwhite ids as most of them had helped me cope with insecurities and whatnot. as for the abusive tendencies thing, i had showed abusive behavior in the past and will not make up excuses for that and for a long while now, i have been bettering myself in that sense

like i said, the apology was bullshit. but now, i am actually sorry to yuu for saying such nasty shit to him just because i was in the wrong for some things and didnt want to admit it.

tyeah like i said the mika thing was mostly paranoia on their part since i never had any intent on making mika hate yuu or to date them or whatever they thought i was attempting to do. so after that shit was pretty peaceful. until i started iding as ciel.so yuus bf dms me all, ‘i gotta sb you for rn’ and im all ‘ok’ and they both sb me at the same time and now i realize smth was wrong and apparently i did smth and that smth was iding as ciel.... Which let me be honest i forgot that yuu ever ided as ciel since the last time he brought up that id was probably around a few years back a little after we broke up as shown at the top of this. so that shit was left alone but iwas So confused as to why they both sbed me at the time + i was so scared they were spewing hate abt me to their followers so i made a spy account to try to figure out wth even happened.

i, of course, made it seem like i didnt know what the fuck he was talking abt. but yeah this was me. fast forward to may 10th i had begun iding as yuichiro again as a main id and was gradually getting more and more attached to that id. on vent, i had changed my name to yuichrio and used yuus art as my icon. I had debunked the icon thing as i found it on google, but i knew very well that yuichrio was yuus url. i just wanted the next best thing to yuichiro in all honesty but it was still kinda gross of me to use his url and it kinda dug me into a deeper hole.

here the comparison that yuu made. They asked me to take down that pfp which i did and then i deleted their comment and blocked them immediately.

now to may 11th

This still makes me uncomfortable that even now they keep up with my new blogs/users even though i have only interacted with them Once since this happened and it was a complete accident. (i followed him last night on accident).

like yuu said himself, this was his weakest argument in this entire thing. maybe i had gotten a few ideas from his links before, but generally, most people do use those things in their links.

Now i do believe i was reincarnated and i have delusions as well so i dont know if i am just ... delusional abt being reincarnated or if i am actually am but this is what i believe and like i said, i am not going to delve into spiritual beliefs and i certainly didnt get the idea from yuu.

this was the only evidence that i had to give to yuu. but i did debunk the icon thing.

yeah things get out of hand again. they had receipts on me and knew i was lying about all this so as soon as they wouldnt believe what i was saying 100%, i was getting to be ... a bad sport lol.

i got passive aggressive towards yuu and

in turn i started insulting him and blatantly lying again.

“so what sky was saying here is an obvious lie. i mean, theres the fact that i KNOW the request was accepted before this dm started, the 7 hour gap before i replied for them to drink that all in, and the fact that they literally SAID they are following me, right there. so obviously they were aware they were following me and had no reason to make up some random fake “apology”. i still have no clue what their motive was, but it says a lot about the kind of person they are.” yeah this is all vwery true i didnt have to actually apologize as i had already been accepted and i knew very well of that fact.

so here is where he tries to analyze me

heres with the questioning shit again so go back up for that explanation.

Hwre is where i get Angry again and start to just want this situation Over because hes brining up shit i could not refute at the time.

so after all this, i block yuu once again. this is all that i have on this situation in the posts about me that yuu has made. i have followed yuus accounts many times and in a way you can call that stalking but my reasoning for doing that was to see if he was shit talking me 99.9% of the time. if i had picked up any of yuus personality traits im sorry. adn i am sorry for being so immature and not admitting to my fault earlier. i want this drama to be 100% done and for this shit to Never happen again i am not going to add onto this post unless yuu himself asks for me to explain some more shit that i hasnt listed. i am sorry to yuu for copying your layouts and for repeatedly stalking your accounts. i want nothing to do with you or this situation anymore after this post.

#drama #long post

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therealestatesparkblog · 6 years ago

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5 Reasons I'm Obsessed With Paying Off My Mortgage

The truth is, paying off your mortgage isnt the best investment. You can definitely earn higher returns on your money investing it into other assets, such as real estate or stocks. For me, that has been a huge battle in my mind. Do I pay off my house faster, or do I simply take the money that I would have paid extra on my property and invest it elsewhere? Personally, I am obsessed with paying off the mortgage on my personal home. Why? Read on. 5 Reasons Im Obsessed With Paying Off My Mortgage1. Because I long for no monthly payment. I HATE payments. Every month, the bank wants their money. No one cares why the bill might not have been there on time. The bank wants their money, and if you dont pay, you lose your house. Simple as that. If my house was paid off, I wouldnt have that payment to make. It would also lower my household expenses dramatically. With lower expenses, my overall passive income needed to cover my monthly expenses would also be lower. The money going towards the mortgage could now go directly towards investing into something else. 2. Because it would give me peace of mind. Im definitely a proponent of good debt, such as owning real estate or other assets. For me, having debt on my personal house gives me real anxiety. My wife and I have finally found the house we love, where we want to settle with our family for a long time. I want to actually own it outright. I want to have the freedom of knowing I actually own the house, not the bank. Many of my personal friends who are wealthy have their personal homes paid off. If things are difficult for a while, if income or business changes, your personal home (and you and your familys life) will be less affected. Related: Forget Everything You Know: 15-Year Mortgages Are Best for New & Intermediate Investors For me no ROI can compare with the satisfaction of having that house paid off and owning it free and clear.

3. Because of all that equity. The house is paid offnow what? You can always put a HELOC on the property if you want access to the cash. Sure, you would be charged an interest rate against your line of credit, but you arent charged if you arent using it. With the HELOC, you could pay and hold a property while it is being renovated and refinanced. There are funds you could tap into if you really needed. But you dont have any active debt against your property. Again, many of my personal friends have used HELOCs to buy assets, reposition them (with relatively low cost of money), and then refinance them. I am not suggesting you work hard to pay off your house and then immediately put a bunch of debt against it. However, you can now use the asset of your house smartly and conservatively for short-term periods to invest in a deal, buy a new rental, etc. 4. Because I want to have little to no personal debt. This is a big one for me. I want to have little or no debt personally. We rarely carry a credit card balance. My wife and I are also focused on paying off our vehicles in the coming year. In our personal household, we want no debt. We plan to keep a modest budget even at a very nice level of lifestyle, and our passive income should cover more than our expenses. Within my rental portfolio, I try to not be more leveraged than 65-70%, and as we grow it, I make sure to rebalance this with debt as well as carry a conservative amount of funds in reserve. Not only do we keep a reserve in cash for the business (our properties), but we carry 12 months of cash for the household as well. 5. Because past experience drives me. By working on both of these fronts, we lessen the overall possibility of having a major issue in paying bills for our lifestyle and in paying for the home weve built as a family. After going through bankruptcy in 2009, there hasnt been a week or a day that has gone by that I havent thought of that experience. Let me tell youbankruptcy is a living hell. It has fundamentally changed the way I look at our household debt, income, and overall finances. Related: Are Extra Mortgage Payments Worth It? A Look at the Numbers If wed had more cash in the bank and not been so highly leveraged on our personal home, we likely could have made it through without losing everything. There were a lot more factors involved, but the point is clear. We couldnt outlast the problem. And we failed. I know I never want to experience that again. Therefore, I have to make decisions that put myself and my family in a position that we dont ever end up there again.

Final Thoughts To reiterate, this is not a post about the rate of return on my money. The post is about my sanity and the stability of our family. If you are struggling with areas in your life financially, its time to look at what is happening and make fundamental changes. Im not saying you have to pay off your mortgage. But look at your overall debt picture. Do you have reserves to make it three months, six months, a year? Have you looked at your budget and created an emergency plan for living a lot less? How would you feel if you didnt have to make that mortgage payment anymore and instead could invest it or save for your kids college? Were republishing this article to help out our newer readers.

Do you feel the need to pay off your mortgage faster? Have you decided to keep six or 12 months or savings in reserve? Why have you decided to do what you are doing? Weigh in with a comment! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/why-im-obsessed-with-paying-off-my-mortgage/

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andseperand · 8 years ago

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thoughts

ive been sitting on this post for the better part of a year. i tried to read through it and make edits, but im going to have to post this as is. maybe ill be able to edit it someday. anyway, this is completely composed of spoilers.

tl;dr: i mostly wrote bitterness about “kung food,” “origins part 1,″ and “reflekta.”

these are my thoughts on what ive watched of the first season of miraculous ladybug (i have watched most of every episode except the last three).

i may be confused or misinformed on some points. some of this is not as serious as other parts, and the writing style is disjointed because i didnt write it all in one go. any links are formatted within brackets (as in [text]).

ordered by the order i initially watched (parts of) the episodes in and indicated by villain name somehow (english, korean, french, french translation, etc.).

stormy weather/climatika

why did alya just toss manon like that? she couldve hurt something just being thrown around with her tiny little bones and joints that lack any significant cushioning. not to mention that her neck is completely unsupported. safety, much?

the bubbler/le bulleur

so the record is fully functional but also survived getting smacked off a building on its edge? wow.

copycat/l’imposteur/the imposter

i get that alya is supposed to be that “go-getter” friend who pushes marinette to be brave, but honestly, if she had waited another minute for marinette to be more ready for making a phone call, this wouldve been less of a mess. yeah, i get the “pushing boundaries to build confidence,” but honestly we could have waited for marinette to stop stalking adrien, too.

i gotta say: marinette is truly fearless. my phone is so suspicious. i would not have the confidence to deliberately touch it with my face and risk contact with who knows what has been on it.

the “moral” or whatever of this episode is kind of unclear? steal someones phone and run into issues with security but then also somehow break into it and get what you want anyway? no, thats not okay. its not that funny that marinette legitimately stole someones phone, and she doesnt even get seriously reprimanded for this.

timebreaker/chronogirl

one of the most pressing questions i have for this episode is why no one thought of using pockets or a bag or something to hold this important watch. hand perspiration is pretty bad for a lot of older and newer mechanical objects alike. why is this clearly-important item treated any different? ive considered both the “tikki is in the bag” (doesnt mean it has to be marinettes bag) and the “girl pockets” (marinette designed her own clothes, though) possibilities, and im still stumped.

mister/monsieur/mr./m. pigeon

how did chloe know what the colors were or even what the embroidery pattern looked like from a pencil sketch? it looked like chicken scratch.

lady wifi

im not sure that “dont violate other peoples privacy” was very well stated, seeing as alya was landed with an unfairly harsh punishment due to corrupt politicians. and how did that get resolved, anyway? was she still suspended? was there even supposed to be a moral in this mess?

the pharaoh/le pharaon

the villain is a pharaoh, continuing the ages-long trend of pretending ancient egyptian culture is just ~so interesting~ and that its portrayal isnt exploitative at all. i cant really say much about this, but i dont like those special ancient egypt episodes of anything.

rogercop

a mess

im pretty sure that this was to save animation budget or something, but why was marinette picking up those croissants off the floor and arranging them so nicely as if it really mattered what she did with them besides cleaning up the spill? i guess ill let it slide if shes trained that way as an advertising thing (though advertising doesnt get a free pass by default just because its strange).

the evillustrator/evil artist/le dessinateur

off topic, but could that tablet also erase or create living beings?

dark cupid/le dislocoeur/heartbreaker

this was still technically a kiss without consent? doesnt really feel all that romantic and whatnot. i cant really get behind this as shipping material.

horrificator

side note: i really liked how chloes english voice actor delivered the lines mockingly announcing mylenes “award” in the beginning.

im not a fan of the “you must kiss as part of acting” plot point. it always gives off those peer pressure vibes from other people and opportunistic vibes from main characters who want to actually kiss the other person.

darkblade/le chevalier noir/the black knight

sabrina is honestly super lucky that marinette made her box have a hole big enough for super tiny animated character wrists or else she wouldve been in a world of more pain.

alya had a platform? im so confused about how this election worked. did they do ballots or some sort of “heads down” in-class vote thing?

the/le mime

seeing as people dont lose their memories of being attacked by the villains, i really dont see how tearing down the eiffel tower (even in an animated show where people are not in the structure at the time) is the best way to minimize traumatic experiences. i get that it was supposed to be a “wow” moment for the plot and just visual effects but not the appeal.

kung food

the second i ever laid my eyes on this name i knew it would be bad, i just didnt know how bad because there were just so many ways it couldve gone with that phrase and i didnt know what to expect until i actually watched the episode. more on this in a bit.

there was literally no point to having the famous chef be related to marinette other than contrived circumstances to get adrien into this episode. im using this as a launching off point for talk of other stuff.

why didnt marinettes parents do anything about a relative coming to their house? this really baffles me because they have their daughter meet an effective stranger with no help.

why didnt marinettes parents tell her what languages the relative spoke? honestly, it kind of seems like they just didnt even care if this would cause her extreme anxiety or anything. you would really think they would have at least discussed this as a family because it was made pretty clear that his visit was actually expected. i thought way higher of their characters until it seemed that they pulled this crap move.

i know it was supposed to be all cute and a bonding moment when adrien came over to translate, but it was even more of a disaster. why did they take a car literally around the corner to get to the hotel? why didnt the chef go directly to the hotel if it was so close? was that adriens car? who was in charge of organizing this event and making sure the contestants didnt end up in the wrong place? how in the world did the chef even get to the bakery? because of the close proximity of the hotel to the bakery, it doesnt make sense that he would go to the bakery instead from an airport or something? unless he was supposed to meet his relatives? which, in this case, was not facilitated at all? so many questions are raised.

i dont speak nor understand mandarin, but im pretty sure adriens wasnt good enough for him to actually be complimented for it. then again, its nothing new to see white people getting complimented for deigning to learn a ~foreign language~ while i get interrogated about my lack of “authenticity” for not speaking “my native tongue,” so i guess the writers were just being realistic.

he bowed...funny story, at least one time i went to a restaurant with other visibly asian people and the apparently-white waiter kept making this weird head bobbing motion every time they left the table and what im saying here is that i know adrien has presumably been learning about culture stuff, but i also know firsthand that creators really love to shove bowing into media whenever asian people show up. (that waiter did give us extra mints, so i guess that was nice.)

sarcasm alert: i love when ~asian~ people have ~asian~ accents. its not like this is a tired gimmick that i dont need to see literally everywhere i turn (oh, wait! according to the english version, it is! hooray for me! this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me ever! im not being sarcastic at all! or overly sarcastic to the point where im sarcastically putting in that everything ive written in this paragraph is sarcastic because im just so mad! or maybe it definitely is! it probably is all sarcasm!) [bonus sarcasm here]

the chefs english/default dub language fluency was either inconsistent or this was just a straight-up rude portrayal of a nonnative speaker of a language, because adrien didnt seem to wait five seconds (for the chef to even consider the question about what he was cooking) before talking to the chef (and naturally, being a polite person, the chef listened to what adrien was saying), and i feel like it was only for the sake of adrien being ~useful~ because right after that, he talks to the chef in english/whatever language? dont think i didnt notice that his english speaking got “better” after becoming a villain. you know, if they hadnt faked the accent in the first place, they wouldnt have had to hastily cover for the fact that their voice actor couldnt even execute it well.

im sure adrien and marinette tag-teaming to argue with chloe and her racist comments was supposed to be this whole “wow look at that team” deal, but it felt like adrien was shoehorned into this mess sloppily. woohoo for the white boy defending marinette because she cant do it herself or something! i do appreciate when white people help stand up for me, but in this context, it feels off.

i have such a big problem with the “pep talk” adrien gives marinette when she thinks the chef doesnt like her. first thing, white boy explaining things about a person of color to a person of color, and the two people are actually literally related? i think the bouquet misunderstanding was really bizarre, and when did adrien have time to gain all this extensive exposition? the interview when they first arrived was short, and i dont think that both adrien and the chef would be so rude as to exclude marinette from their conversation in the car on the way over. this just comes off as a way to have adrien ~encouraging~ marinette, and its not a very good one.

this supposedly super prestigious competition literally has no security to make sure no one is mucking around behind the scenes, let alone ensure that the contestants arent up to any funny business. because why not. and no cameras around either, because cooking-based television programs never show any cooking, just the tasting and subsequent subjugation by a villain (this is a sarcastic sentence). even if this is supposed to be a featured dish and thus one they dont want to showcase the recipe behind, they could still have those little soundbites interspersed with candid panorama shots (can you tell i have no idea what any of these words mean?). im just going to have to chalk this one up to animation budget and move on.

i know this was just a sort of (intendedly funny) visual thing, but i highly doubt that the objects chloe put in the soup could just go unnoticed, especially since i presume a chef would thoroughly stir (and taste) their cooking, and the soup didnt appear to have properties of decomposing things touching it. otherwise that tasting session would probably have turned out a little messier (i am completely kidding here).

why is the chef being upset about being sabotaged made into a ~cultural~ thing? why is a white boy telling marinette about her ~own~ culture? sheesh, its like you cant just be upset because your shot at a world title was ruined on live television and you have confirmation that you were deliberately sabotaged. yes, chloe did it because shes petty and racist, but the results of her actions could upset anyone! its not just because the chef is chinese! what is the point of saying that? its a pointless throwaway comment! why dont you just find some other way to get the chef alone so he can be become a villain that isnt a) nonsensical and b) making sweeping generalizations about people? (granted, i cant speak to the validity of anything said about cultures, but i sure can comment on why saying such things about them isnt okay regardless).

“kung food” oh my god. this is such a piece of crap name. it is racist. you can literally try to argue against this until youve gone far beyond oxygen deprivation and in a grave but itll still be racist by the time youre done. aside from the pharaoh, there arent a bunch of ~ethnic~ names (not that it would be okay for that to be the case anyway) running around, and yet we get one with this specific villain whose ethnic and national origin is talked to death? okay.

and ive seen this pointed out, but the villain appearance seems to have a kind of anime-inspired design, which is honestly a good laugh because who was just talking about not conflating china and japan again? weeaboos and sinaboos are often in the same boat.

okay, not related, but adrien just had to taste a suspicious substance off the floor. why. there are so many ways to figure out what a substance is before putting it in your mouth. or you could just not do that at all. before this point, they did not appear to suspect a food-related villain, so this couldve ended badly.

another side note: i dont know how that receipt retained its integrity long enough for ladybug to wrap the villain up after dipping it in the soup. do the magical items just have super special properties like extra toughness that allows them to defy the reality of paper receipts? i wonder how many of the things ive talked about in this post have been me marveling at the sturdiness of lucky charm items.

of course this turns into an ~accountability~ lesson for marinette. and chloe doesnt get reprimanded? yeah, she got booted off a panel she didnt even want to be on and no one actually clearly articulated to her that the things she said were absolutely unacceptable? then again, this is a “diversity episode,” so i dont know why my standards are so high.

wow, marinette really needed to have adrien encourage her before going to take a picture with her great-uncle? im going to be generous and allow that she wanted to make sure he would be okay with her ditching him for her much cooler great-uncle because she didnt want him to feel bad about how not-cool he is in comparison. there, you see what i mean about making up story elements? (though im really not much of a writer, oops.)

im so over people making fun of how others dress as a joke. before i realized that i am autistic and reflected back on my life, i didnt realize that i gravitate toward clothing i find comfortable rather than fashionable, and ive always gotten negative comments, ill-intended or otherwise. so i really didnt appreciate marinettes jab at chloe, even if it was to defend herself. it was just unnecessary.

i want to talk about the whole ~chinese representation~ thing in this show. yeah, i know marinette is one of the very few chinese and mixed main characters out there (and there are barely any that are both), but im going to be super honest about this: i dont think shes all that great. i am a big fan of her and this show, but that doesnt make it infallible. the fact that adrien of all people is telling her about her own culture is a huge failing in itself. i dont know everything about my own cultures, but its not cool to have a literal outsider being shown to be the expert on someones culture and be the one to guide them through that. theres barely any portrayal of sino stuff in the show as is, and i hate the way this is only shown as a kind of special episode topic. i would be way more fine with this if this wasnt basically the sole instance of discussion of marinettes heritage. and no, the fact that her mother wears stereotypical clothing doesnt count. at all.

okay, this has been a huge issue for me before and after this point, but it was in this episode that it was made abundantly clear just what we are dealing with. i know that it is completely possible, genetically speaking, for a mixed chinese and white person to have blue eyes. its also completely possible for a chinese person to have gray eyes even without being mixed (i say this because i dont know if her mother is monoracial). however, if you only have two confirmed recurring characters of chinese descent, and their eye colors are ~special~ colors...well, thats kind of iffy there. why is it that the minor chinese character has stereotypical eyes? theyre basically just expanded pupils for all intents and purposes, which is not the problem, because its possible to have irises that are so dark as to make figuring out whether they have a distinguishable brown tint to them really hard. anyway, i suppose i dont want to talk about things ahead in the season, but why is it that the background asian characters get the stereotypical eyes but the main characters who are asian get the special eye colors? (that was a rhetorical question. i know exactly why.)

im pretty that at some point in the creation of this villain name, someone patted themself on the back for being so ~clever~ like “haha kung food geddit? its like kung fu but with food because im actually not that creative and more racist than i would like to openly admit.” okay, i know im being a bit harsh. but its really annoying when one of the few things people “know” about sino people is that kung fu exists. and honestly, i kind of suspected this, but ive seen other people say that the villain more resembles a villain from anime, so...thats kind of disrespectful there...

the/le gamer

i really disliked marinettes combo move names. they all had ~asian~ words like lotus, jade, oriental, etc.

animan

i find the sniffing scene to be kind of creepy. personal space much?

the city has really high quality buses. i cant believe the bus didnt end up backfiring on their plan because if i know anything about buses its that the ones ive seen are probably way older and more decrepit than me.

antibug

how do the earrings work in this setting? as far as i can tell, it would make sense for chloe to have pierced ears and a pair of ladybug imitation earrings that she could put it, but how is it possible that ladybug was able to just pull the earrings off? because that could be a really, really messy situation if they are actually piercings with backings and everything, but is there an explanation for this? magnets, clips, anything?

the puppeteer/le marionnettiste

can that glowing bright red effect that comes from her yo-yo and the power cord being swung around just for the viewers, or can it actually be seen in-universe? or is that a null point because both items are generated by ladybugs magic?

reflekta

this show really didnt need any “haha look a ~guy~ in a dress” jokes. and honestly, this was ill handled (though arguably, its very existence was ill handled). first of all, im not the best judge of this kind of thing, but to me, ladybug felt out of character while mocking chat noir? honestly, marinette doesnt strike me as the type of person to find that kind of situation funny in the first place, so the premise doesnt really hold up in my opinion. i know marinette can make mistakes, but youd really think she would be more open to not thinking this way because she knows what its like to be bullied for other things. moving on... [though, to reiterate]

the way this was not addressed? at all? yeah, ladybug apologized for that one comment at the beginning of their conversation, but then she continued to make jokes at chat noirs expense, and it just wasnt as funny as it was probably intended to be?

i know the whole thing about ambiguous chronology, but there is no reason ladybug wouldnt take chat noirs opinion into account when planning for things anyway. it felt like that part was written specifically so he could “prove” his worth to the rest of the episode and ensure that, yes, he is still allowed to be in it after being turned into a reflekta lookalike, and the whole thing smacks of trying to write out of a corner...that was written into in the first place. if it hadnt gone the route it did with the mocking of appearances, i dont think it would have had to be as convoluted as it ended up being.

i personally dont care for high heels, but i dont get the kind of “fashion cracks” that were being made about them. like yes, high heels can be hard to move in? yeah, it isnt fun being turned into the appearance of someone who isnt you against your will? i just dont understand this gag.

guitar villain

did ladybug really honestly just full-on spray someone in the face with the contents of an aerosol can? im aware that the point was that the hair was in front of his face, but what if some had gotten into guitar villains eyes? dang, what if someone tries to emulate this in real life? ouch.

digital/numeric

kind of done with the spotlight on stalking behavior this show has.

marinette still shows no fear of suspicious screens. she continues to use parts of her face to touch one multiple times, never mind that she literally flings her yoyo all over the place.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre i

did marinette have pierced ears in the first place? shes not shown taking any earrings out, and we dont get that clear a view of her earlobes anyway. that might be deliberate for modeling budget and all.

master fu has brown eyes. so thats like four ~chinese~ characters that are in this show, and the main character and her mother have the special eye colors, and the minor character who is somewhat important to the plotline has non-black eyes, and the minor one-episode character has the black eyes. what a shining example of diversity (no).

anyway this is a good point to say that some things are just not for you. there are things that you just cant be a part of no matter how much you want to be because it just doesnt work that way. and the mess that is the miraculous “mythology” is definitely an example of this. i myself have very little knowledge of anything sino, but i sure as heck can spot that this...��history” thing is so off.

at this point i should probably mention i really dislike master fu as a character in general. just as a single point, apparently hes based off the teacher character in karate kid? i saw somewhere that the creator said he basically made marinette mixed because he was dating an asian person when he was thinking about the show and that marinette is basically his idea of their mixed kid? and back to the eye color thing (again), ive even seen someone with green eyes and blue hair suggest to him that they could be the child of marinette and adrien, and he said theyre like his grandchild? (im not really inclined to try to dig up an iron-clad, indisputably genuine source for this right now, but if youre honestly searching for completely serious, well-researched information in a really good quality post, this is not the post you are looking for.) i have no idea where i was even going with this paragraph.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre ii

why is marinette so invested in her crush on adrien? this couldve been a sweet crush, but no, she has to make it so creepy? leading up to this episode, i really didnt know what to expect because i really thought there would be some sort of explanation for just how extreme the lengths marinette goes to are, but from what i can tell, shes just being super invasive? the ambiguous timeline doesnt really help with this, nor does the fact that the origins episodes were aired at the end of the season. whatever characterization was supposed to be inferred from this feels choppy and unnecessary.

simon says/jackady/jacques a dit

i dont really blame her, but ladybug totally could have reduced the level of adrien distractedness going on here. shes previously shown signs of compartmentalizing ladybug and even having to face the fact that it isnt worth using up her power over adrien, but gosh golly, what gives?

princess/princesse fragrance

ive seen criticisms of how ladybug was written to be overly competent in this episode, which i think is fair since it keeps happening, and its so late in the season by this point that its gotten tired.

volpina

i try not to be too judgmental, but frankly, adrien is not that great of a prize.

anyway, from what i can tell about this episode, i think that there was too much on marinettes flaws, which i really think is a bit much to have in the last chronological episode of a season. its already been established that she makes mistakes with her decisions, but i just thought her unequal prioritization of adrien was too much. it just seemed contrived to squeeze in scenes that the creators wanted to animate regardless of overall context in the show, which is really unfortunate because of how the show becomes a little less chronologically ambiguous at this point.

#lt #kung food #this is a 'kung food' hate blog #wall of text #really long post with low readability #racism text mention (a lot of it)#transmisogyny text mention

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