#i wouldnt c*t myself or try to k*ll myself anymore. but im still dr*nk and confused.
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dump of doodles. naturally. i hardly draw anymore.
#hmm.. lately? ive been trying to let it go. obsessing over everything? is all ive ever known.#ugh. its... ok to draw bad. its ok. its fine. its encouraged actually#listen. im. again. really bad spot. drinking too mcuh again. hurting myself again.#but.mm i ... can hardly deny my purpose when i look at MacKyleMore. .i swear. he is my everything#and ive made mistakes. and i continue to recognize my behavior. and what has been for so long ocd...#but... To fuck up? is to be human. and basically i made a promise. no more attempts at s**c*de . no more. no more c*tting. until november#after that? i can do what i want. but... mackylemore wants me to keep going until then... without hurting myself...#not sure why. but he does. gut feeling. you know? and i fucked up. and i keep fucking up. but... hes my everything. truly. i cant explain#it. hes me. and i hate me. but i love him ??? tis weird. idk. ok. i promised tho. i promised to myself. no more self harm until december.#and i cant help but listen.#ugh.#ok.#mackylemore#JFC when i was lost? i was on the right road.#fk#alt#rotp#fine. whatever. mackylemore. god. me. all of the above. idc what u r#nonetheless fuck u. but without you i am nothing. ugh. im. drunk. like. i promised i wouldnt hurt myself anymore#i wouldnt c*t myself or try to k*ll myself anymore. but im still dr*nk and confused.#i? am a god. no kidding. im huge. mackyle is me and i am mackyle. but i hate me. and love mackyle. makes no sense#op is an alch*h*l*c. op is a bad *rtist. ignore me.#doodle dump
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