#i wouldn’t have liked them in the first place if they weren’t a total freak!

[oddessea]

I’m loving that Izzy’s redemption arc stuff isn’t making him less bitchy or less unique as a character. It so often comes across in redemption narratives that to be a better person, you have to round off your sharp edges and be some watered down version of yourself, but that’s not the case. You can still be a weird bastard and just be less of a dick about it.

[hxney-lemcn]

First Kiss — Vicehousewardens x gn! reader

summery: your first kiss with your lover.

tw: none.

a/n: Ik Ruggie isn't the vicehousewarden but hush. He will be included as one. Also...totally didn't just realize I could make more of these for guys who aren't just overblots/housewardens...

wc: 1.9k (~300 per character)

Master List | Housewardens | The Others

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Trey Clover

The atmosphere was warm and tender as you were out in the gardens with Trey. He had baked some delightful desserts, a small array in various sizes, colors and shapes, and had been kind enough to share them with you. You were joyfully eating to your heart's content, not a care in the world when he leaned over, hand raised to point at the corner of your lips. Embarrassed at your messy display, you had hurriedly tried to wipe the food off your lips, but only seemed to continue missing the crumbs with Trey watching on in amusement. Not wanting you to feel too embarrassed, he raised his hand and gently wiped the crumbs from your face, his smile a bit more sly than gentle. Feeling a bit pouty at how easily Trey managed to make your heart flip, you decided to take matters into your own hands. Leaning forward, you paused right before your lips could meet, eyes trailing down to his pink lips. His amber eyes widened in surprise, watching you intently as you reached up and fixed his messy hair that the wind had tousled. A pink blush overtook his cheeks and you felt smug seeing the baker flustered, finally getting a taste of his own medicine. Leaning back into your seat, you hid your smug smirk as you took a sip of tea. It seemed like you were both feeling competitive as Trey didn’t just leave it at that. He held your chin gently as you placed your teacup down, facing leaning in only to place a kiss to the corner of your lips.

“What’s that look for? If you really want a kiss you just need to ask.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Ruggie Bucchi

You found yourself staring at Reggie more and more recently. His pretty lips always curved in that smug smirk, blue eyes shining with joy as he laughs about one thing or another. Probably about screwing some sad sack over. But no, you wouldn’t crumble, because he ate all your favorite snacks, which is why you were giving him the silent treatment. Yeah, you knew what you were getting into when dating Ruggie, but you had been looking forward to eating those snacks all day, only to find the wrappings in the trash. Ruggie hadn’t even tried hiding his grin, which made you even more livid. So why did you find yourself so enticed by his freckled covered nose and the pink plush lips. Gosh, and just like that you found yourself trapped in a cycle. It didn’t help that Ruggie seemed to understand your plight, trying to tempt you to say something, whether it be by pushing on your buttons (which got him here in the first place) or being a freaking tease. You weren’t sure where his boldness came from, but you managed to hold up, turning away with a pout whenever his face came just a bit too close to your own. Thankfully you didn’t need to put on the act for long, Ruggie buying you some extra snacks a day later with Leona’s cash. Feeling content finally, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, but Ruggie didn’t seem satisfied. Like the hungry hyena he was, he craved more, pointing to his lips teasingly. Unbeknownst to him, you had been looking for an excuse to kiss him, so you took your chance, lightly placing your lips over his own, pulling away as quickly as you started, taking in great satisfaction at the henya’s surprise.

“Shishishi, if that’s what it takes for a kiss I’ll have to buy some more.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Jade Leech

That sly sly eel was being sweet. Too sweet. It was honestly scaring you. Normally he opens the door and guide you in with a hand on your lower back, but his sharp grin warned you of what lies beneath the gentlemanly facade….so why had his expressions….softened, around you? It was unsettling. Sure, you both had been dating, but you hadn’t expected him to show vulnerability towards you so quickly. Or perhaps you had been blind, as Floyd had been complaining about Jade’s behavior far before you two became a thing. Still, it seemed like something was on Jade’s mind as he would zone out while staring at you. Actually it seemed like he was doing that now as you sat at the bar in Monstro Lounge. Jade’s multicolored eyes were watching you as he paused mid cleaning the glass he held currently. You merely raised an eyebrow, confused at how disheveled Jade was appearing. He sent a strained smile, face glancing down, you barely caught the pink that tinted his cheeks. How odd being the one on top. Waving him over, a sly grin fell over your lips as you leaned over the bar, eyes trailing down to Jade’s smile. Circling the rim of your drink with your finger, your expression turned sharp like a shark who caught its prey. “Could I get a kiss from the pretty bartender?” You asked, puckering your lips teasingly. Clenching his gloved fist, Jade finally allowed himself to indulge in what he’s wanted to for a long, long time. His lips slotted onto yours before you could even notice, hand on your jaw to keep you in place. Only to pull away and act like nothing happened.

“Ara ara~ I only gave you what you ordered, was it not to your liking? Perhaps I should give you a free serving as an apology.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Jamil Viper

The sun felt scorching in the sweltering heat of the scalding sands, but the breeze was nice enough to cool you down. You felt like you were dying, but at least it wasn’t humid. A small mercy you would gratefully take. You pushed through the discomfort, making sure to drink enough water so as to not worry Jamil more than he already was. Kalim, unfortunately, is throwing another party without any thought, and it was completely last minute. Not wanting your boyfriend to suffer on his own, you didn’t just offer, no, you demanded that you’d help as this chore shouldn’t rest on his shoulders alone. Which is what led you to bustle around the kitchen in dreadful heat that was only made worse by the stoves. Yet you wouldn’t trade the small look of appreciation on Jamil’s face for the world, proud that he seemed to not be completely down in the dumps. You couldn’t stop the small exhale that escaped your lips as you paused your whisking, taking time to roll up your sleeves as sweat dripped down the side of your neck. Stretching your arms for a second, your eyes trailed over to Jamil who was already looking your way with an unreadable look on his face. You tilted your head, unsure of what that meant, it wasn’t until the dark haired man closed the distance and caressed your cheek softly to pull you to look at him. You felt your breath hitch, eyes widening, only for him to brush something off your cheek and pull away. Not satisfied with that conclusion, you pulled him down by the front of his hoodie and placed a short but sweet kiss, leaving the Viper flustered.

“If you wish to do such actions, please make sure it’s when we’re alone. I do not wish for Kalim to catch us in such a predicament…”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Rook Hunt

Rook had been waiting, waiting for the perfect, most opportune time, the most romantic moment, for you both to share your first kiss. He was nothing if not a seeker of true beauty, and what was more beautiful than sealing love with a kiss? Oh how his heart sings at the mere thought of how plush your kiss may be, but he must wait. Wait for you to open to the idea, for you to make the first move. And what good is a hunter if he is not patient? You’ll find yourself going insane before Rook makes the first move. He loves watching you run through circles, the way your eyes trail down to his smiling lips, or the way your touches linger. He loves every and any sign of affection you show, lamenting about your beauty while you do so. It’s not until a quiet moment, where the moon has risen and the crickets chirp in the distance, the two of you find yourselves wrapped in the other's embrace. Rook is gently running his hands through your hair as he whispers sweet nothings, even in the quietest of moments, where you're all dressed down and vulnerable to the world, he still manages to compliment you, finding beauty in your most natural state. It’s then that your eyes trace the slope of Rook’s freckled nose to the upturned curve of his lips. You’re sleepy and full of affection, can you blame yourself from slipping into your desires and pressing your lips to that of the hunters? It was just as sweet, if not sweeter than what you had imagined. Wasn’t this just as romantic as Rook wanted it to be? The both of you vulnerable to the other, sharing your truest feelings and rejoicing. Oh how Rook wished to indulge in this moment for just a bit longer…it wasn’t like you weren’t willing.

“Oh mon cœur, how sweet your love is. I will cherish this moment now and forever.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Lilia Vanrouge

That little pesky fae…always popping out of nowhere to kiss your nose only to disappear once more. It was like a game between you both, who could shower the other in more affection? Of course Lilia would resort to cheating, disappearing before your lips could touch his cheeks, his mischievous giggles echoing away. Honestly, you weren’t sure how people weren’t sick of the two of you (they 100% were). As cute as the little game between you two was, you were growing tired. He was a fae, so of course he wouldn’t tire as easily, but days turned into weeks and gosh did you want to kiss the bat silly. So, you decided to turn the tables around and withdraw any and all forms of affection. Turning your head away before he could kiss your nose, looking disinterested as he tried to rest his head on your shoulder. It was kinda funny seeing the old fae pout and whine. A taste of his own medicine. But you could only win for so long, as Lilia always ended up having the advantage. You will not imagine how he managed to catch you off guard…You were just merrily walking down the halls of NRC, not a care in the world, until all of a sudden you were pushed into the wall. Eyes wide and ready to smack someone with your textbooks, you relaxed when your eyes met with familiar crimson ones. One arm pressed against the wall next to your head, his fangs poked out with how wide his smirk was. Lilia was freaking kabedoning you. Your jaw nearly dropped, trying your hardest not to burst out laughing at the fact he needed to hover to reach your height, but your amusement was swiftly gone as the fae’s lips were suddenly hovering over your own. Lilia’s original plan was to pull away and leave you wanting more…but even he had to admit he was craving to kiss you. Who was he to deny you both your wishes?

“Next time just ask for a kiss, who knows how much longer I have. You don’t want to deprive me of any potential kisses now, do you?”

[idyllicwillowtree]

God Eddie, You're So In Love With Me.

Genre: Eddie Munson x Henderson!reader, fem!reader, angst/fluff, hurt/eventual comfort, friends to lovers

Summary: Being in Hellfire, you’ve been exposed to your fair share of bullying. One day, Jason takes it a step too far.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: bullying, anaphylaxis, poisoning, no physical descriptions of Y/N so you don’t have to look like Dustin, reader wears makeup, reader uses she/her, reader has a peanut allergy, reader is called princess, swearing

Author’s note: I got this idea from an episode of Freaks and Geeks (which is an awesome show I totally recommend). Peanut allergies weren’t so common in the 80s so that’s why Jason is so ignorant and dismissive about it.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I was hibernating.

Enjoy!

Main Masterlist

Part 1:

Eddie proudly sauntered into first period with his head held high and a smirk on his lips. His mouth was watering in anticipation. He plopped himself down in the seat next to yours, wide eyes and a wicked grin plastered on his face, an eager hand open towards you.

“Wow Eddie. It’s 7:29, you got here with a minute to spare,” you said as you leaned over to grab the bite size Laffy Taffy from your backpack to place in Eddie’s hand. “I think this candy reward system is really working.”

“Of course it worked, it was your idea after all. But today’s a special day, I was definitely not going to not be here,” Eddie said with too much energy for this early in the morning. He stuffed the yellow taffy into his mouth and chewed it like a happy 5 year old, wiggling in his seat with excitement.

“Are you talking about the photo?”

“Yeah! Hellfire finally gets a spot in the yearbook. We shall finally leave our mark on this cesspool we call a school,” Eddie said through the glob of candy in his mouth. He swallowed the treat harshly as he got a good look at you, “you look great by the way.”

“Yeah?” you said shyly, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. You started fiddling with the hem of your Hellfire shirt, “I thought I’d go with a bit more eyeliner today.” 

“Yeah, you did a great job princess.” With the excuse of admiring your eyeliner, Eddie was able to take a moment to study your features. Your gaze stayed on your hands, picking at a loose thread.

“God, Eddie. You’re so in love with me,” you said with a teasing smile. 

Eddie barked out a laugh, dimples on full display as he tried not to let your words affect him too seriously. 

“Great, the flirting freaks are back at it again.” Jason remarked from a few rows behind you. Both of you turned around in time to see Andy dramatically fake gagging.

Before you could hurl an insult back at them, Eddie took notice of what Jason was snacking on.

“Hey asshole, you can’t eat peanuts in class.”

“Yeah? And who’s gonna stop me, Munson? You?” Jason said through a full mouth, spitting out chunks as he laughed obnoxiously with Andy.

You simply rolled your eyes at Jason, annoyed with the jocks and their willingness to tease and fight so early in the morning.

Eddie’s grip tightened on the back of his chair. His white knuckles caught your eye and you reached out to sooth him, hoping he wouldn’t start a fight he couldn’t finish. The second your hand landed on his, the tension in his shoulders deflated and the fire in his eyes was snuffed out as he sent you a reassuring smile. 

Jason waved around his ziplock tauntingly, “Seriously freak, let’s see if you can actually take these from-”

“I’ll take those,” Mrs. O’Donnell said as she walked in behind Jason and snatched the bag. “Mr. Carver, you know you’re not allowed food in my class, let alone peanuts.”

“But coach said we have to protein-load before the game tonight,” Jason wined.

“Too bad. Some allergies can be very serious,” You shrunk in your seat as the other students turned to stare at you, knowing you were the one she was referring to. “You can get these back after class,” Mrs. O’Donnell said as she rounded the corner of her desk to address her students. “Now, everyone, please open your textbooks to chapter six.”

You, being the diligent student you were, immediately followed orders. Eddie on the other hand didn’t even remember to bring his book bag to school, but at least he got his candy. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m serious guys, I might have a crush on Mrs. O’Donnell now,” Eddie said to his bandmates as they sat in their unofficial assigned seats in the cafeteria.

“Just because an older female authority figure agreed with you and shut down Carver, doesn’t mean you should crush on your teacher dude,” Gareth said, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all.

“Besides, you already have a crush,” Jeff added with a teasing smile, the metal on his teeth catching the fluorescent lights.

“Are you guys talking about my sister?” Dustin said while throwing his lunch tray on the table, taking a seat next to Eddie. The rest of his sheep following close behind.

“No-”

“Yes,” all three of the older Hellfire members said in unison.

Eddie shot them a look that would’ve shut them up if the metalhead’s pale cheeks weren’t tinted pink. 

“Gross,” Dustin added.

Mike’s brows did their signature furrow under his dark bangs, “I don’t get it, why doesn’t he just ask her out?” he said, purposefully ignoring Eddie’s presence at the table.

“GROSS,” Dustin repeated, hoping the subject would change. 

Eddie was right there with him, picking up a pretzel and hurling it at Mike’s head, “I’d rather not share the complexities of the friendship-to-relationship pipeline with a baby freshman. And I. Don’t. Like. Her.” He growled, punctuating each word with a pretzel.

The metalhead’s angry scowl melted off his face at the sound of your laugh echoing through the high ceilings of the cafeteria. You were standing near the entrance with your Wonder Woman lunchbox in tow, tilting your head back as you chuckled at something Robin Buckley told you. 

That was until Jason and his entourage of goons followed him in.

He had that damn bag of peanuts in his hand, swinging it around mockingly. Eddie watched as you became tense, eyes wide and glossy. You are practically hiding behind a fuming Robin.

Before the blonde could hurl her trumpet case at the jocks, Eddie stepped up behind you both, placing a ring clad hand gently on the small of your back to let you know he was there. 

With his hand grounding you, you finally found your voice, “seriously Jason, if I come into contact with a peanut I could die.”

“Oh come on,” Jason said through a chuckle, “you’re that much of a freak that a little peanut is enough to kill you? I think you might be overreacting just a little.”

“Actually,” Dustin said as he came over to stand next to Eddie, “Anaphylaxis is incredibly dangerous. Allergic reactions to the proteins found in peanuts are cause by immunoglobulin E antibodies and can trigger severe inflammation and-”

“Dude, even her brother is a fucking dork,” Andy spat.

“Hey, don't talk to him like that,” Eddie said, stepping forward. You have always admired his fierce determination when defending your brother and the other freshmen. It’s part of what drew you to him in the first place. But this time there was no snarky comeback to Jason’s bullying. The severity of the situation on top of the jocks’ disregard for your safety was just pissing him off, making him uncharacteristically no-nonsense. 

The group of letterman jackets erupted in a chorus of ‘oooohs’. The leader just licked his lips, eyeing Eddie before smirking at you.

"You know, you might be pretty if you actually tried." 

It doesn’t have the effect on you that Jason had hoped, you could care less if he thought you were pretty. But before your athletically inexperienced friends could take on the basketball team, you plastered on your best fake smile. 

“Thanks Jason, see you guys later,” you said as you pulled your friends away leaving him confused and unsatisfied by your reaction.

“What the hell, you’re just going to let him talk to you like that?” your brother protested.

“He’s never going to change, Dustin. I might as well play into it since he’s just trying to get a rise out of us.”

You wave bye to Robin as she went to sit with her band friends, all of them decked out in their extravagant green and yellow uniforms. Eddie slid Dustin’s tray away from the spot next to him so you could set your lunchbox there and sit at his left hand side. Dustin was muttering something about losing his seat but still scooched down, knowing there was no use in fighting it. Eddie always had you right next to him.

The next few minutes of lunch went by rather smoothly. Groups of students were taken out sporadically to go to the photo room and get their yearbook club photo taken with Nancy. Occasionally, you’d catch Jason sending you angry glares but you just ignored him in favor of listening to your fellow Hellfire members. They were rambunctiously throwing out theories about tonight's campaign while Eddie just sat there with his version of a poker face, not willing to spoil anything with a teasing grin plastered to his mouth.

His eyes connected with yours, feeling you staring at him. The moment he looked at you you bashfully lowered your eyes to the cup of applesauce you were stirring around. Eddie kept his gaze on you until Nancy walked up behind him.

“Alright Hellfire, you’re up,” Nancy said with a smile. 

This was the first year Hellfire club was getting any sort of recognition in the yearbook. Previously, the teachers and students didn’t want to draw any more eyes to the alleged cult and their leader. Now that Nancy worked for the school, she played a big part in securing a photo for her brother’s club in the yearbook. Even though Eddie never liked conforming to frivolous High School expectations, he still felt honored. It was his last year after all (hopefully) and he wanted to make his mark.

You and the rest of the Hellfire members left your things at the lunch table and walked out of the cafeteria for the yearbook room down the hall. Your open applesauce was forgotten about as you followed Eddie out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your shoulders were still buzzing after taking the photo. Eddie had thrown his leather clad arm around you, pulling you closer to him, while his other hand did the sign of the horns. The smell of his cologne and the texture of his battle vest overwhelmed you so much you hoped it didn’t show in the photo. Although, the smirk Nancy sent you tells you it might have.

You and the rest of Hellfire sat back down in your original seats, besides your leader. As expected, Eddie had a lot of things to say in honor of your club getting recognized so he opted to stay standing.

“Hear ye, hear ye! Rejoice, for this day shall be etched in the annals of history as a testament to our unwavering spirit and valor!”

Going back to your lunch, you scoop up the velvety applesauce to resume eating. Expecting the familiar taste of sweet and tart, you flinched at the salty crunch and swallowed it on instinct. 

“Let it be known that we have weathered the raging storm of schoolyard bullies, and emerged victorious! Our banners flying high, unfurled in the winds of destiny,” Eddie continued, not noticing your trepidation.

You frowned at the tickle in your throat that only continued to build as you tried coughing discreetly. The rest of the boys grinned, believing this was your way of hinting at Eddie to wrap up his speech.

“Let us raise our voices in jubilation, for today, we have proven that nothing is insurmountable to those who believe in their cause!” Eddie looked to you, hoping to see you looking up at him and smiling that way you do whenever he uses his renaissance voice. Instead he met your panicked eyes.

“Hey Henderson,” Jason called from across the cafeteria. “What happens now? Should we call an ambulance?” Andy shoved at his shoulder playfully and chortled alongside Jason.

Panic gripped you as you connected the dots.

“Yeah,” you wheezed, “call an ambulance.”

Part 2

[jesterwriting]

Hi Jester!! Hope you’re having a good day 💞 I absolutely love your work !! Your writings style and how you write the op boys.. my heart 🫶

If you’re taking requests, is it okay to ask a confession scenario from Law and Sanji, to a reader who’s never been in a relationship before?? They kinda freak out, after hearing the boys like them, only cuz they like them back but don’t wanna mess up?

Wishing you a good day- and thank you!! Stay awesome <3

pairing: sanji x reader & law x reader (separate)

contents: fluff, idiots in love, confessions, humor, nonbinary reader in sanji’s, gender neutral reader in law’s, reader is short in laws, everyone in this is so stupid, did i say idiots in love yet

word count: 2.4k words

note: AWWW HI im so glad you like my stuff hehe. okay so i got WHOLLY carried away with this request. like totally got carried away, though, i had an absolute blast writing this and hope you enjoy it too<33 idiots in love is my absolute favorite trope if you couldn't tell.

playlist: moscow - autoheart

Black Leg Sanji

It wasn’t obvious at first.

Sanji treated you the same as anyone else, always feeding you when you were hungry or offering a pleasant word when you shared the same space together. Sure, he didn’t fawn over you like he did the ladies, and he certainly didn’t treat you as roughly as he did Zoro, but the two of you had your own rapport. Sanji was nice to you, you were nice to him. That was all there was to it. While it was no secret — at least not to the observant eyes of Nami and Robin — that you wanted a little bit more from the flirtatious cook, you were happy with what you got. There was no reason to ruin a good thing with childish feelings, especially not when you were so inexperienced with them.

What you had was fine. It was good even, you supposed.

That was until Sanji started treating you differently.

It happened almost overnight. The camaraderie you shared with him grew into something entirely new. You weren’t sure what to do about it. When you woke up that fateful morning, Sanji seemed distant, though he wouldn’t stop staring at you with the most bewildered expression you had ever seen. Instead of setting a plate down in front of Nami or Robin first, he placed a breakfast platter right under your nose, a rosy blush staining his cheeks. The final nail in the coffin was the shaky compliment you got from him as you left the room.

“You look positively ravishing today, Y/N.”

You froze in place, fingers curled around the doorknob. When you turned, Sanji blinked at you a few times, lips parted as if he wasn’t sure as to what he said. Seconds passed — though it felt more like years — of the two of you staring at one another. Ashes dribbled from Sanji’s cigarette onto the floor. You shuffled your feet. It was completely silent, save for the sound of your heart thundering in your chest.

“Thanks,” You finally said.

With that, you slipped out the door, unable to stand the tension a moment longer. Something squirmed in your chest, and an anxious tang in the back of your throat made you want to throw yourself overboard. It was one compliment, it didn’t mean anything, you told yourself.

You weren’t sure what scared you more. The idea that it meant nothing, or the idea that Sanji might like you the same way you liked him. Either way, you couldn’t stop trembling. You hoped that whatever this was would work itself out on its own without your intervention.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

In fact, it got worse.

Sanji hovered around you more often, going from occasionally asking if you needed anything from him, to asking every twenty minutes. While he didn’t stop doting on Nami and Robin, he found himself too preoccupied with watching you to remember to refill their drinks on time.

Worst of all, Sanji wouldn’t stop complimenting you. They were far clumsier than the usually smooth flirtations that rolled off his tongue, but they were more than enough to get under your skin and into your heart. You didn’t miss that unmistakable glitter of pride in his blue eyes whenever you blushed under his flattery.

What you wouldn’t give for everything to go back to normal. When you realized you harbored a little crush on Sanji, you never expected it to be reciprocated. Now that it was, you weren’t sure what to do. You had never been in a relationship before, and with your luck, you’d end up screwing everything up.

You flushed when you felt his eyes on you, trailing from the top of your head to your feet. Gentle footfalls approached you, and you braced for an inevitably awkward interaction that you would replay in your head for hours after it was done.

“Hello, my sweet—” Over the past few days, Sanji had gotten more confident with the pet names, much to your chagrin — “Care for a refill.”

“If you can make it alcoholic,” You replied, staring pointedly at the ocean. If you looked at his ridiculously handsome face right now, you’d crumble to dust.

“Anything for someone as lovely as you.” You could practically hear his dumb smile on his dumb lips that you wanted to kiss stupid. Frowning, you fidgeted with your fingers.

You heard Sanji tip the pitcher as ice clinked together, filling your glass. The smell of sea salt filled your nostrils. There were words bubbling in your chest and up your throat, threatening to spew forth and coat the deck with bile. You bit your lip to keep that from happening.

“For you.” Sanji handed you the glass, and his fingers brushed against your own. They were warm, the skin was soft and well maintained. As always, you wondered what they’d feel like cupping your face, Sanji’s lips against your own.

You couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Do you have a crush on me or something?”

Sanji’s mouth fell open. Before he could speak, you bulldozed right over him. “It’s okay if you do, I don’t really care, I’m just curious. I mean, maybe I would care because I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since forever. But that’s stupid. I’m stupid. I need to stop talking right now. Why can’t I stop talking?”

“You’re not stupid,” Was the first thing that Sanji said, surprisingly stern for how red he was. Followed by an almost incredulous, “You like me?”

“That’s what I should be saying” You cried. “You’re not supposed to like me back. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He stared at you for a moment before reaching to remove his cigarette from his mouth and dangle it between two fingers. “You’re in love with me?”

“Well, that’s a really serious way to put it, but yeah. Sure. Whatever. I’m in love with you. There! I said it.” You let out a manic cackle. Your face felt so hot, like you were about to burst into flames any second. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Sanji grabbed you by the shoulders, his expression serious. “I don’t know what I’m doing either. We can figure it out together. If you’ll have me, of course.”

Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. “Okay. Together then.”

“Together, my sweet.” He said, so suave as if steam wasn’t coming off of him from how hard he was blushing.

Not that you were much better.

Trafalgar Law

You hadn’t meant to overhear. Really, you didn’t. You were passing by the engine room, arms full of supplies you were supposed to deliver to the team, when you overheard your name. Maybe it was nosy of you to start eavesdropping, but anyone would if they were in your position. Once you heard Shachi and Penguin say your name, you stuck around to see what gossip had been floating around on the Polar Tang about you. It was a fact of life, one you refused to be held accountable for.

What you didn’t expect was to find out the captain had a crush. That in of itself sounded wholly ridiculous, and at first, nearly tore your heart in half. You had been harboring feelings for Law for a long time now, none of which you were confident enough to act on. Part of the reason you never confessed was because you had hoped he was too damned awkward to have a crush on anyone else in the first place. The other part was because you were inexperienced. Love was not something that came easy to you. It was messy, rough, and altogether stressful, none of which you wanted to deal with.

What really got you though, was the fact that out of everyone in the entire world, the infamous captain of the Heart Pirates had feelings for you.

You really, really hadn’t meant to overhear.

With your heart beating out of your chest, you shuffled past the engine room and delivered your supplies, wishing you were anywhere but here. This was bad. Law had been avoiding you for weeks, and now, you knew why. At first, you worried you had gotten on his nerves enough that he was finally sick of you. You enjoyed talking to him, even discounting your little crush. Whenever Law had a free moment, you found yourself by his side, chattering away over whatever had caught your fancy. He was a good listener, chiming in with a smirk every so often to show that he was paying attention. Recently, however, Law had started to dip into adjourning halls when he saw you coming, or take his meals in his office rather than sit with you in the mess.

It would almost be easier if he hated you. Then you wouldn’t be sweating profusely in your boiler suit, scared that Law would show up around every turn. How could you look him in the eye knowing that your feelings for him were reciprocated? All you knew is you were thankful he was avoiding you. It made staying as far away from him as possible much, much easier.

You were confident you were doing a good job getting your tasks done without running into the captain until you, quite literally, ran into him. The top of your head knocked directly into his chin, sending you sprawling on the floor and making Law frown. A frown that deepened when he saw you.

Still, he helped you to your feet.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N-ya.”

“Right, sorry. Bye,” You said, skirting past him.

Law didn’t let you get far before his hand shot out to grab your wrist. His brows were furrowed, and you tried not to think about the glimmer of disappointment in his eyes. “That’s it?”

“What?”

“You’re usually always talking,” He said.

You removed your arm from Law’s grasp. He let go easily, thank goodness, you were fully prepared to wrestle him to get out of this conversation if you needed to. “I just don’t feel very chatty right now. Bye.”

With that, you turned on your heel and marched down the hall. It was quiet for a moment, only the sound of your footsteps resounding against the walls of the Polar Tang. It wasn't until a second, much heavier pair joined you did you start to pick up the pace. To which Law responded to by matching your speed, easily gaining on you. His strides were longer than yours. Two of your steps equaled one of his. At this rate, it would only be a matter of time before he caught you, and then where would you be?

So you started running.

Law faltered for a second before he joined, boots like thunder against the floor. Instinctively, you ducked around the first corner, hoping to lose him, before your stomach flipped and you, once again, ran directly into your captain.

That asshole. He shambles’ed you.

“Why were you running from me?” If he was hurt, he hid it well through an entirely unamused mask. You swallowed hard, shuffling your feet slightly under his gaze.

“I had the runs.”

Law gave you an unimpressed look. “No you didn’t. Now tell the truth. Why did you run from me?”

“Uh.”

You were really in it now. If the universe had any amount of love for you, there would be an emergency happening in about five seconds from now that would demand Law’s attention. But, of course, nothing happened. You were trapped.

“Uh,” Law repeated, his usual smirk worming its way onto his face. It wasn’t until then that you realized just how close to him you were, nose mere inches away from his chest. Your cheeks blazed.

Taking a couple steps back, you fidgeted with your fingers. “It’s none of your business.”

“It is my business when one of my crewmates runs from me,” Law countered.

He had you there. You weren’t sure how to get out of this, or even if you could get out of this. This was it. D-Day. Your tongue felt too big for your mouth, the pink muscle flailing uselessly. It was hard to breathe as your heart pounded furiously enough to make you feel lightheaded. Finally, after a full minute of silence, you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Ireallydidn’tmeantobutIoverheardShachiandPenguinsayyouhadacrushonme.”

As he processed your words, all of Law’s confidence leaked away, the tips of his ears turning bright pink, confirming what you already knew. His pupils darted to your face in search of something.

“What did you think?” Law licked his dry lips and tried again. “What did you think when you heard that?”

“I don’t know because I’ve had the biggest crush on you since we met!” There. You said it. That wasn’t so bad. “I didn’t know what to do, so I was avoiding you.”

Tugging on the brim of his hat to cover his face, Law asked, “So what do you want to do now?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t know! I’ve never been in a relationship before, how am I supposed to know these things?”

“I haven’t either,” He confessed.

You let your forehead knock against his chest. A chuckle rumbled against you as Law brought his hand up to cup the back of your head. His touch was delicate, barely there at all. You couldn’t help but lean into him. “That doesn’t help at all.”

“Get some dinner,” He said. “We can eat in my office together and talk about it more then. No more running.”

“Says the guy who avoided me for three weeks.”

Law only let out a huff while you laughed.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Schrodinger's Cat

Season Three Premiere

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 3776 

Series Masterlist

Summary: The team is shocked by an attack that could mean the end for two of their own. Reid and the rest race to find the reader when Hotch is the only one found. 

Notes: We’re back baby. (stabbed in the back, to be exact) Too soon? This one is all about the first episode of season five and it’s going to jump around quite a bit. I hope you guys are as excited as I am for all of the Foyet fun. (I’m actually terrified)

-

Ten Years Ago

The TV lit up the living room, shadows changing with the switching of scenes and movement of the characters on the screen. It was hypnotic, almost making you join your movie-watching buddy who’d fallen asleep half an hour ago. The junk food in your system certainly didn’t help either. 

A well-needed girl’s night. 

You weren’t totally used to it yet. Sometimes, it still felt like your mom was going to come home from work and it would be the two of you buying cookies and chips and watching rom-coms for hours. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Haley. She was kind to you and didn’t treat you the way your teachers did. Like you were going to snap at any second. But you still didn’t feel like any of this was real. 

The front door opened and your brother stepped in with his suitcase and go-bag.

Your brother. 

Another thing you weren’t totally used to. 

“Hey,” he greeted, trying to not sound as tired as he felt. “What are you still doing up?”

You put a finger to your lips and motioned to his sound-asleep wife on the sofa. He glanced at her and smiled, gently brushing a hair out of her face.

“We were having a movie night,” you said. You hopped out of the chair and followed him into the kitchen so the two of you wouldn’t wake her up. “How was your case?” 

He put his suitcase on the table, looking back at the television rather than at you. 

“What are you guys watching?” 

“I don’t know, I stopped paying attention an hour ago.” Leaning against the doorframe, you tried to block his view. “Come on, Aaron. It was your first case as a senior agent. You’ve got to tell me everything.” 

“You know I can’t do that,” he sighed. 

“Okay, well tell me what you can tell me. It was that Boston Reaper guy, wasn’t it? The news said he still hasn’t been caught.” You sat down at the table, pushing the chair out across from you with your foot and motioning for him to sit. He hesitated. You raised a brow. “You want me to start trusting you, right?” 

Aaron frowned but sat across from you anyway. “I didn’t mean divulging details of my job,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t want to hear about the stuff I work with. It’s dark and…” He trailed off, realizing how ridiculous that must sound to you. “Alright, how about this? Why don’t we go pick up some ice cream from that 24-hour place and I’ll tell you some of what I can tell you?”

You nodded, the idea of listening to him talk about his job fascinating you. That kind of stuff used to freak you out, but now, hearing about it made what happened to you feel buried beneath it. Like it was helping you understand it all and yet pushing it further, safely away from you at the same time. 

“But,” Aaron said, holding up a hand, “you have to pick out the cheesiest, most upbeat, happy 80s music that you can find to listen to on the way there. Deal?” 

He reached his hand across the table. You shook it with a grin. 

“Deal.” 

-

Present Day

He’d had little time to celebrate. Despite his excitement, Spencer had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for you to come home. He was awakened by a call from JJ, bringing them in on a local case. You hadn’t come back yet, so he figured you ended up crashing at Hotch’s because it was so late. 

There was another train of thought, though, that he just couldn't shake. 

Maybe you’d had second thoughts and couldn’t bear to tell him in person. Maybe you changed your mind about getting married, about getting back together in general, and had decided to stay with your brother until you figured a way out. 

Maybe that was why Hotch wasn’t answering his phone. He was busy helping you get away from Spencer, from this life, from everyone. 

“Reid,” Prentiss said, looking at him over the top of the file in her hand. “Are you okay?” 

Dr. Barton paced with other files in his hand, trying to figure out who could be doing this to him. Who could be threatening his son and murdering innocent people? 

Reid gulped. “Yeah. I just… have a lot to think about.” 

Prentiss raised a brow. “Good things to think about?”

He smirked and kept his eyes on the patient file. “Let’s just focus on the case.” 

She nodded and glanced over at the panicked father. Dr. Barton sat back down with his head in his hands. He looked at the clock. 

“Jeffery is leaving school in five hours,” he said. “There’s no way we can get through all these patients in time.” His voice was getting more harried with every word, not that either agent could blame him. 

Prentiss sighed. “Well, we’ve narrowed it down already.”

“And we still have a hundred left,” the doctor exclaimed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be callous, but when you work in the E.R. you don’t remember names. You operate and you move on.” 

She ran a hand down her face, took a deep breath, and came to a decision. 

“He’s right. There are too many files here for us to profile in such a short period of time.” She stands, checking her watch. “Um, I can get to Hotch’s and back here in half an hour.” 

“Who’s that?” Barton asked. 

“He’s our supervisor,” Reid said. “We weren’t supposed to work today. We’re having trouble getting a hold of him.” 

“But we need more eyes.” Prentiss moved toward the door, but Reid stood up, signaling for her to stop. 

“Actually, can you…” Can you ask Y/N why she didn’t come home? The rest of the question, however, died on his lips. He sighed and sat back down. “Just, let me know when you get there.” 

His teammate nodded and left the two men to continue their investigation alone. 

-

He’s just passed out on his couch with his phone off. That’s what Emily kept telling herself as she climbed the stairs to Hotch’s apartment. Everything’s fine. It was just her profiler brain keeping her on edge. If something had happened, he would have called. 

Unless he couldn’t.

“Stop freaking yourself out, Emily,” she muttered to herself, finding the door to his apartment and knocking. “Hotch? It’s me, Emily.”

No answer. 

She pulled out her phone and dialed, that pit in her stomach turning. It worsened upon hearing the ringing of his cell inside. Everything else was deadly quiet. And when she turned the handle, she found the door already unlocked. 

Emily took out her gun and stepped inside. 

Everything seemed normal. Too normal. It looked as if he’d just arrived home and had stepped out for just a minute. But somehow, she knew she was stepping into a crime scene, even before she saw the multiple pooling bloodstains on the carpet around the corner. 

She didn’t waste any time. She called Penelope first and told her to send police and FBI techs as soon as possible. Emily also warned her not to tell the rest of the team.  Lives were in danger, including that of a young boy, and she didn’t want to do anything that could jeopardize their focus on the case. The only one she could tell was Reid, and that was only because he was expecting her to come back with Hotch any minute. 

She’d have to tell Y/N. Her chest ached at the thought. 

Reid was still looking over files when she called. 

“Hey.” 

“Reid, listen, I’m not going to be able to come back. Something’s happened.” 

“What?” 

She sighed, trying to keep the concern from her voice. “Hotch is gone.”

Spencer’s heart stopped. “What are you talking about?”

“What’s going on?” Dr. Barton asked. 

“I just got to his apartment and his car is here, but I can’t find him, and Reid… there’s blood.” Prentiss took a deep breath. “I told Penelope to send police here and I’ll stay to figure this out, but I need you not to say anything to anybody else. You all need to stay focused on protecting the Bartons and anyone else who might be in danger.” 

“Is this about Jeffery?” 

Reid turned to the worried father, his face paling. “No, no it’s unrelated.”

“We only have a few hours left here.”

“I’m really sorry, but I have to take this phone call, ok?” 

Dr. Barton sighed in frustration. “What could be more important than my son right now?”

It took everything in Spencer’s power not to lose it right there while countless panicked questions ran through his mind. 

“I assure you this will take one second. Please, I promise,” he pleaded. 

There was something about his voice. Something familiar. She stared at the twin blood stains and remembered how Reid had been when Y/N had been taken by the Cunninghams. 

“Reid, I’m going to need you to stay with Dr. Barton-” She started, but he cut her off.

“I’ll call somebody else. I have to go down there.”

“You can’t. Everyone has to stay focused on his case-”

“Emily, you don’t understand.” He tried to hold back cries threatening his voice. It confirmed her fear before he did. “Y/N went to see Hotch last night. She-” He inhaled, trembling. “She never came home.” 

-

With everybody working to protect Jeffery, Prentiss knew that Reid would have to stay with him. He didn’t argue or try to fight her on the subject, which only made her feel worse. He said he’d join her as soon as they’d narrowed down the patient list and made her promise to call him for any updates, regardless of what she found.

So Emily kicked her search into high gear, setting aside every panicked feeling, every turn of her gut, and she did what she knew Hotch would want her to do- she treated this like any other case. They were both alive until proven otherwise. She forced herself to repeat that over and over again until she almost believed it. 

They were alive until proven otherwise. 

They were alive until proven otherwise. 

They were alive. 

They had to be. 

Back at the BAU, Penelope was telling herself the same thing. With every hospital she called, however, the harder and harder it was to remember. What were the odds that Hotch was taken to a hospital, let alone both of them? 

But when she heard a name she hadn’t expected, she paused. 

“When was that?” Penelope asked the nurse on the other end. Her heart lifted. “A-and can you tell me if he was brought in with anybody else? A Y/F/N Y/L/N or maybe a Jane Doe.” Her demeanor fell again with the nurse’s answer. “Alright, thank you. I’ll have an agent there as soon as possible to check on the man admitted as SSA Derek Morgan.” 

It didn’t make any sense. Derek wasn’t in the hospital, someone would have told her. 

She didn’t waste any time, immediately dialing for Emily. 

“Talk to me, Garcia.” 

“O-okay, I called hospitals to see if Hotch had gotten himself admitted to an emergency room.”

“And?” 

“He’s not listed as a patient,” she gulped, “but someone dropped a John Doe off at St. Sebastian Hospital, and that someone’s name was FBI Agent Derek Morgan.”

Prentiss’s brows drew together in confusion. “That doesn’t make sense.” 

And yet somehow it did. Pieces began to connect in her brain. A case from a few months ago. A killer on the run. 

“I know,” Garcia sighed. “Do you think they got their credentials mixed up?”

Emily’s stomach dropped. “The Reaper.” A new wave of worry set in. “Foyet took Morgan’s creds.” 

“Why would he drop him off at the E.R.?” Penelope asked, her voice quieting with terror. 

Emily was already taking off. “What hospital did you say again?” 

“St. Sebastian Hospital.” 

“I’ll call you with an update when I get there.” 

“Wait,” Penelope said. “There’s something else.” She blinked back worried tears and tried to keep her voice steady. “Hotch was admitted alone. I asked the nurse. Y/N wasn’t with him.” She didn’t want to think about what that meant, but images of Foyet and her friend took over every thought. 

Prentiss swallowed hard, feet hurrying out of Hotch’s apartment down to her car. 

“I’ll update you when I get there,” she repeated. She stopped with her hand on the steering wheel. “And Garcia?”

“Y-Yes?” 

“Don’t tell Reid.”

“But-”

“Dr. Burton and his son have to be his priority right now and if Y/N is…” She trailed off and started the car. “I’ll call him when I get the chance.”

Prentiss hung up feeling sick. She promised Reid she’d tell him if anything happened, but if Y/N wasn’t at the hospital, there were only two realistic options: she was still with Foyet or…

Emily shook her head. 

You were alive until proven otherwise. 

-

He had to focus. Too many lives were at stake for him to get distracted. Still, Spencer’s hands shook slightly with every file he picked up. He hadn’t heard any news from Prentiss and he still couldn’t tell the rest of the team what was going on, so the weight was his to bear alone. 

He thought you’d changed your mind. 

What if all this time he spent worrying that you were leaving him again you were actually…

Spencer pushed the thought away the best he could, looking up as Dr. Barton put on his suit jacket and headed toward the door. 

“Where are you going?”

“The note said not to deviate from my routine and I always pick up Jeffery on my days off.” With the unsub hopefully identified, the doctor just wanted all of this to be over. 

For the team, the problems were just beginning. 

“I’m going with you.” Reid placed the file in his hand back on the table, switching it out for his now ringing phone. 

Dr. Barton went into the hall. 

“L.C. on the unsub’s note,” Prentiss said. He could hear sounds behind her voice. Beeping and voices. He made the connection and held his breath. A hospital. “It stands for Living Children.” 

“Are you sure?” He pushed all other questions not pertaining to the case away despite how desperately he wanted to ask them. 

“It’s administrative,” she answered. “It’s when they’re afraid a patient is going to go on life support and they don’t have a DNR order.” 

She didn’t mention how she figured that out, the image of Hotch unconscious in the hospital bed still very present in her mind. 

Nine times. He was stabbed nine times. 

“Reid?” She said, the sound of his silence speaking volumes. 

“What if the unsub was trying to tell Dr. Barton that he is actually the target and that he’s gonna leave his son without a father?” 

If he lost Hotch, it’d be like losing a father figure all over again. 

He was alive. 

Surely Reid would have been able to hear it in Prentiss’s voice if he wasn’t. Right?

The door clicked open and a different panic rushed through Spencer. 

“Barton!” 

Emily listened to the hurry of Reid running to a different room. She heard voices. 

Then she heard a gunshot and the crack of the phone hitting the ground. 

“Reid?” She said, “Answer me.”

Nothing. 

No no no no no. Not him too. 

Emily turned to the window. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. How was that even possible? How could the sun be shining when everything was falling apart?

“Reid?”

-

Two men. Different injuries. One unanswered question. 

Is she alive? 

While Spencer went into surgery for the gunshot to his knee, Aaron laid in agonizing wait. 

He knew only three things.

The Reaper brought him here. 

He was after Haley and Jack. 

And the last time he had seen his little sister, there was a knife in her stomach. 

“Do you know how much you have to study about the human body to stab yourself repeatedly and not die?” 

“Stop it… leave him… Aaron, hang on.”

“You’ve got such a pretty sister. She’s a little old for my type, but who am I to be picky in a moment like this?”

Your breathless, silent scream echoed through Aaron’s mind. 

The shrill tone of a phone ringing brought him back to life. To the present. Dead or not dead. He imagined the bodies of the people he loved. Foyet wanted to hold all of the power, so he held all the answers. Did he go after Haley and Jack? Did he kill you?

Prentiss came back into the room. “They’re safe.”

But she only meant two of them. The third person’s unknown fate still lingered in her eyes. 

So he focused on finding the facts.

“You were at my place, right?” He asked. 

Prentiss nodded. 

“Could you tell how he got in?” 

“I’m not sure.” She took a breath. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

He stared at the wall behind her. His heart beat in his ears. He could hear your gasps all over again. Were you dying? When he finally fell into unconsciousness, was he too weak to be there for you? 

“I just want to find my sister.” 

Prentiss nodded, the lump in her throat growing. But Hotch’s eyes went behind her to the person standing in the doorway. Emily put a hand on Haley’s shoulder as she walked out of the room to give the former couple some privacy. 

Neither knew what to say. On one hand, they were both beyond relieved to see that the other was alive. But on the other, each knew the dangers they now faced… the dangers you still faced. 

“How do you feel?” Haley finally asked. 

“I’m gonna be okay,” he said, using all of his strength to keep a straight face when all he wanted to do was break. “Did they explain to you what’s happening?” 

Haley nodded. “They said the Marshall’s service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody.” She swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “I told them I wanted to stay until they found Y/N, but they seemed pretty adamant that Jack and I need to leave as soon as possible.”

Aaron looked into her glassy eyes and sighed. “Haley, I’m sorry.”

“I have to know if she’s okay,” she cried. “Does he still have her? Is she…” She stopped and took a breath, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Is she even alive?”

“We have to assume that she is until we’re given evidence to suggest-”

“Damnit, Aaron, it’s your little sister!” She exclaimed. “I know you want to shut down and close your walls, but Aaron… this is Y/N.”

Didn’t she think he knew that? That he had been thinking about you every minute he’d been conscious and even while he wasn’t. That if he could turn back the clock and make sure you never came back to the apartment he would. Didn’t she know he wished Foyet had finished the job on him if it meant that you were safe? Every minute he was stuck in this hospital room, it just felt like his wounds were opening more and more. A cut in his stomach for Haley. One to his chest for Jack. And one twisting, wrenching stab to his flesh for you. 

But he didn’t say any of that. 

Aaron looked down, a tear escaping onto his cheek. 

Haley put her hand on top of his. She pushed aside every frustration that burrowed into her chest, every panicked scream in her head, every sob in her heart. She looked at the man that she loved- that she still loved- and knew what they both needed was hope. Hope that this would all be over and things could go back to the way they were. 

Even if they never really would. 

“They’ll find her,” she concluded. “It’s like you said. We have to assume she’s alive.” Haley gave him a small smile. “And when they find her and you and your team catch this guy like you always do, we can have a family night. We’ll watch cheesy movies and eat junk food just like she and I did when she was younger.” She held his hand a little tighter. “And we’ll all be alright, yeah?” 

He was trained to see through her optimism, to see that she was putting on a brave face just like he was trying to. But for that moment, knowing this was the last time he’d see her until they caught Foyet, he just wanted to make her keep smiling. 

“Yeah. We’ll all be alright.”

He told her that they’d find a way to tell her what happened with you, even if she couldn’t be in contact with anyone. Including you. 

And then Haley said goodbye, looking back one more time as she left. 

-

He’d been begging the nurse to let him out for the last half-hour. She had to go get JJ in order to make him calm down. 

“We can’t just sit here,” Spencer said. Every time he tried to get up, however, the forceful blonde urged him right back down. “Y/N is out there. I have to find her.”

“I know, Spence,” JJ sat on the edge of the bed, keeping a hand on his arm. “We have people searching every block of the city to find her. Wherever Foyet took her, we’ll figure it out.” 

Foyet. Just the name sent shivers up both of their spines. Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists around the bedsheet, remembering the last time he was in a room like this after almost dying from anthrax. You were there for him. You read to him and told him you wanted to come home. 

What if you never came home? What if you were out there, bleeding out and crying for him to stop Foyet. What if the last thing you saw was that man smiling over you as he plunged the knife deeper into your chest?

“I have to go.” He swung one leg over the bed, the sheet falling to the ground. 

“Spence, please-” JJ pleaded. 

Both of them fell silent, frozen as Prentiss walked into the room. Her lips were set in a hard, grim line. He tried to read the look in her eyes, but even she didn’t know what to feel. 

Emily breathed out. “They found her.” 

-

I always forget tag lists, so please let me know if I missed you!

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt;  hereforsmutbcicantgetenough;  violetbossler;  hyper-half-blood;  i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48;  @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02; @ ara-a-bird; @pleasantwitchgarden

[chaos-in-deepspace]

L&DS Rafayel: Fireworks Display | Drabble

Fun fact about the writer: I am terrified of Fireworks. They're too loud and scary. They freak me out almost as much as thunderstorms do.

Pairing: Rafayel x Reader Warning: None Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Rafayel

The setting sun felt beautiful, no longer beating down harshly on your skin. You relaxed in the lounge chair you shared with Rafayel, pressed against him with a head on his chest. It was perfect, and you could see the fireworks going off on the beach a few ways away from your location.

You glanced at Rafayel, who had his phone out and seemed to be endlessly scrolling through something. The fireworks were loud in the distance, and you heard a thunderous bang. You looked over to see a blast of blues and purples raining down into the ocean below.

“Raf, weren’t you the one who wanted to see the fireworks?” you asked, noticing he hadn’t flinched when that one went off. It was a vast display, and he had called you early that day to see if you were free that night. The moment he told you there would be fireworks on the beach, you were already making your preparations. Now that you were here, he seemed too absorbed into his device, something that certainly wasn’t like him in the slightest.

Rafayel shrugged, “This thing happens a few times every year, so I’ve seen it a thousand times,” he explained, taking a moment to glance at you. You huffed, almost pouting at his lack of interest in the explosions.

You were no longer looking at the fireworks, instead resting your chin on his chest so he could get a good view of the disappointed look on your face, “Okay, but this is the first time you’re seeing it with me. It’s totally different, Raf,” you whined, wanting to kick your feet in a mini tantrum just to get your point across in a language he can understand.

Rafayel locks his phone, placing it to the side, “Don’t give me that look,” he began, “You’re making it seem like I’m a criminal,” that’s because he was judging by how he wouldn’t enjoy these things with you right now, “Not to mention we saw a fireworks display two months ago over in Linkon,” he just had to remind you.

“Okay, but that’s not us being curled up on a lounge chair on a beach watching fireworks. It was crowded in Linkon. Now it’s just us two,” you crawled a little closer, “It’s a totally different experience,”

“Oh, but when I want to celebrate eating oysters together, suddenly it’s a weird thing to do since the week before we celebrated having crab for the first time together?” he finally said, and now you were laughing.

“Totally fucking different, Raf,” you shook your head, “Besides, what were you so interested in on your phone? You normally never ignore me to be on it,” you said, going to grab the device. You could feel Rafayel tensing up underneath you as his eyes widened.

“Oh, it was nothing,” he tried assuring you, but this only made you curious. You pressed your thumb down on the finger lock, happy that the man had allowed you to put your thumbprint in there months ago. You guys trusted one another enough, and he also had his own thumbprint on your phone.

The page that opened was a shopping page, and you could see sparklers of all colors there. Before you could question it, he grabbed the phone out of your hands and held it out of reach. “I said it was nothing.” Oh, he had that adorable flush on his cheeks again.

You laughed, looking behind you to see people on the beach playing with them. They seemed too far away, just little dots, but you could hear the laughter that seemed to be carried on the wind.

“Raf, were you jealous we didn’t have sparklers of our own after watching everyone else playing with them?” you asked, amusement clearly in your voice.

“I was not,” he protested,”

You laughed some more, grabbing his cheeks and squishing them, “You’re so adorable when you try to lie about these things, Raf,” you said with a smirk, “If you wanted to play with sparklers that bad though, we could always do this again next weekend?”

“There aren’t any fireworks going off next weekend,” he reminded you, and you shrugged.

“Then we can get our own fireworks,” you said as you leaned in. You couldn’t help it; he looked too adorable not to kiss. Your lips pressed against one another for a moment, and Rafayel instantly melted, dropping his phone to the sand below as his hands went to grab your waist.

“Promise you’ll set off fireworks with me?” he asked as soon as your lips parted. He stared at you like a lovestruck puppy, which made your heartbeat go a little faster as you licked your lips.

“Wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t going to follow through,”

You leaned in again, wanting to kiss him. A loud bang followed, lighting the two of you up as your lips continued to melt together.

Rafayel is so down bad I'm telling you...like he wants to experience everything together.

[tinkerbelle05]

Please do pavitr x reader please!!

Thanks for the Help

Characters: Pavitr Prabhakar x GN!reader

Genre: Slight angst, Fluff

Summary: After getting sick, you are there to help Pavitr get through it. Thanks for the reqs boo ✨

Warnings: I aged up both the reader and Pavitr to 18 bc there is a slight suggestive scene but nothin to crazy

Notes: this is my first time writing Pavitr so I’m sorry for if it’s ooc.

“You look absolutely terrible, Pav.” You told him. You both were in the nearly empty cafeteria at HQ. He had a runny nose and he was constantly clearing his throat.

“Hey, it’s not that terrible. I’m fine,” he cracked a smile and attempted to get up just for his knees to buckle under.

You caught him before he hit the ground, thankfully. “Someone whose fine wouldn’t fall to the ground like that, Pav. You’re sick and you need to rest so you’ll get better.”

Pavitr struggles out of your grasp and leans on the table to stand, his back facing you. “I am fine, okay. I don’t have time to be sick, Mumbattan needs me. They have nobody else protecting them.”

You grab his shoulders and turn him to face you. You held his face and held it steady, “Listen, I know. You feel like you are the only one who can protect your city and without you, it would fall and crumble to the ground. But you're not alone, Pav. I mean you are literally in a spider society. Plus, you cannot really protect anyone if you're dead on your feet.”

“But I can-” Before he can continue he breaks out into a coughing fit and when he recovers you give him a “I told you so” look. He sighs, “Yea, you're right.”

You start leading him to your room and thankfully Pavitr follows without much fussing. You pulled out some sweatpants and a t-shirt that he should be able to fit. You think that these are Miles’ and Hobie’s clothes that Gwen left. You weren’t totally sure.

“So, do you need help getting dressed or…?” You asked him and in response he gives you a sly smirk and a tilt of his head.

Rolling your eyes, you left the room to give him some privacy. If he can have thoughts like that then he can get dressed himself.

“Okay, I'm good,” you hear Pavitr and you go to check up on him. He was sitting on the very edge of your bed, looking extremely out of place.

“What's wrong, Pav? You wanna go to your room?”

Truthfully you chose your room because it was the one closest to the caf and you wanted him to be in bed quickly. But maybe you should’ve been more considerate about where a sick person would want to be resting at.

“Sorry, do you want to be in your own room? I didn't really consider that.”

“No, no, it’s just I don't want to intrude. And this is my first time being in your room,” he explains to you, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, no, no you don't have to worry about that, Pav. I’ll go and get some tea for you and vicks for you, okay? And take some cough drops in the meantime. Get comfortable.” And with that you were out the door. You decided to focus on getting the things Pavitr needed rather than what he just said.

This is the first time I'm in your room. Oh and he was in your bed too! Oh, god you didn't think this through. You were so focused on not letting him get out, you didn't even think about it. No, no. He's sick right now. He needs a friend right now, not someone who has a crush. Get yourself together.

You walked back to your room with supplies in hand but then you stopped when you heard Hobie’s voice.

“Mate, what's going on?”

“I'm in her room, in her bed. Dude, I'm freaking out here,” you hear Pavitr answer. “I don't wanna blow it.” It seems like they are talking on the phone.

“So don't blow it then,” Hobie answers casually. “Listen, you are overthinking it because you like her. But like you're sick so just focus on getting better first okay. And let's be honest, if she didn't like you, would she really be doing all of…this? Now go take some cough medicine, you sound like shit.”

No, no you shouldn’t be eavesdropping, it's wrong and weird and what is wrong to you? You decided to drop that train of thought for now and knock to announce yourself.

“Hey Pav,” you greet him with a big smile even though you were screaming on the inside. “So I made you some black tea to help with the sore throat and the Vicks is to help with your stuffy nose.” You place the items on the end table, “Need anything else?”

Pavitr looks up at you with half-lidded eyes and slightly slurred words, “Um, can you put the Vicks on me, please? My arms are heavy, sorry.”

“It's fine, Pav. I told you I'll take care of you and I meant it,” you reply.

You sat on the edge of the bed and started to unbutton the shirt, and you started to rub the substance on his chest. Your gaze met his and god was he beautiful. His eyes, his hair, his smile.

“What are you smiling at?” You asked when you noticed it.

“You. You're really, really pretty,” he answers you and maintains eye contact.

“Oh, Pavitr, listen-” you start off but he interrupts you.

“No, I'm being serious. I've always thought you were pretty and smart and amazing and everything else. I just was too afraid to tell you until now. When I get better, let me take you out on a date?” He confesses to you.

“Oh”, is all you can say while you attempt to take in what you just heard. Because what? “What? What are in these drops?” You reached to grab the bottle but he stopped you.

“It has nothing to do with the drops and everything to do with how I feel about you. I truly mean it.” He tells you. “You probably-“

“Okay, I’ll go. I kinda, sorta, think your amazing too. But you have to do everything I tell you to do. Understand?” You offer to him.

He gives you a beaming smile, “Yea, that’s cool with me.”

Tags: @butterfi, @justbeethings, @jam-skullz, @zomb1te, @dreamxcollide, @shibble, @sciamachy-after-dusk, @sleepdeprivationis4coolkids, @somber-starz, @maypersonne, @hoeboat101, @rosebunny, @midnight-the-shadow-wolf, @mur-docs, @eight-cats-in-a-box, @emgavi, @sawi-06, @707xn, @niktwazny303, @nagi3seastorm, @ghostsimp000, @cloudstrifefantatic, @vixqn, @mewxzx, @yourtsahik, @angelzira, @im-jisoo-im-okay, @itstooearly-its3am, @universallypeanutpizzapersona, @gricelovesu, @sodapopzds, @peter-parkers-gf, @star-light18464, @andhdi68a, @liural, @wraithlueintheirlittleworld, @targaryenstormborn

Taglist & Masterlist & Reqs Info

Reqs are open!!

[frankenkyle19]

Kinktober Day 2: Food-play With Peter Maximoff

word count: 4k

Description/warnings: Food play, Oral (both male and fem receiving), unprotected sex, fast fucking (it’s Peter, so it’s fast fast), Peter being a goof

Peter had to admit it. He had some… odd kinks. Or… unique interests is what he liked to call them. He didn’t have a ton of experience but he did have a very vivid imagination. He wasn’t too eager to share some of his kinks, but maybe, just maybe this one wouldn’t be too weird? I mean it wasn’t by any means considered normal or vanilla, but it also wasn’t hardcore at all.

It was no surprise that Peter had a bit of a sweet tooth. Constantly snacking on something that contained high levels of sugar. It kept his blood sugar up and his metabolism didn’t burn through it as fast, and… it tasted good. So why wouldn’t he like it? 

Twinkies, whipped cream, cakes and ice creams. Peter liked it all and could probably eat it for every meal if he was allowed. Protein? A balanced meal? What’s that? 

Peter was also into all sorts of freaky stuff. He’s definitely not the kind of dude to be vanilla. He had outrageous ideas that usually turned off most of the partners he’s had in the past. They weren’t too wild, but still, it just hadn’t been their thing and that was okay with Peter. It didn’t make him want to test out these things any less though. 

Once he met you everything changed, as cheesy as it sounds. You’re down for anything and everything that Peter brings to the table. He kept it chill for a while, not wanting to scare you off, but you were always down to clown with him and would hear him out for any idea he had, no matter how odd.

So when he brought this idea up to you, you laughed right in his face. Not because it was an odd or even bad idea, but because he had been so shy to bring it up to you in the first place. 

“I want to cover you in whipped cream and syrups and lick it off you. Y’know? Like- it’s called food play. I really wanna try it. The idea really fucking turns me on baby- why are you laughing?!”

Peter watched you for several seconds before your fits of laughter subsided, leaving you to catch your breath as you shook your head. Peter was kinda freaking out. Why were you laughing? Oh god were you laughing at him?

You finally managed to catch your breath as you looked at the silver haired mutant in front of you. 

“Peter- I- I mean I’m totally down to do that with you, but why were you so nervous to ask me? It’s not like anything outrageously freaky. Did you really think I’d say no?” You questioned. 

Peter sighed and covered his face shyly with his hands before peeking out at you. 

“I was just-“ his voice was muffled from his hands covering his face.

“I just was… I’ve been wanting to do that for a really long time and was worried you’d shoot the idea down. It’s like- one of my fantasies.” Fantasies. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn’t in some cheesy porno. Get yourself together, Peter. 

You couldn’t help but giggle a bit at how shy he’d become. Peter. The man who always had a comeback for everything. A snarky response to absolutely anything. You realized then that he truly had been nervous to tell you this.

“I’m not like that Peter. Sure, there’s things I don’t like but I’d be honest with you. You don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me your interests. I want you to be happy and I’m more than happy to try out new things with you.”

Peter let his hands fall from his face as his dimples peeked out, a big shit eating grin that showed you that he was back to his normal goofy self. Goofball…

“I’ve got a bunch of ideas baby- whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey, ooo cherries. You’ll be my own personal sundae.” He began, eyes darting around as he fidgeted with his hands, something he did when he was trying to stay still and keep himself relatively calm. He never stayed still, some part of him always needing to move to get out pent up energy. 

“Okay I’ll be- I’ll be right back-“ and without another word, Peter was gone, your hair messily flying around in the wind his quick escape created.

He was only gone three minutes tops and came back with two grocery bags on his arms, still grinning ridiculously.

“I really really hope you paid for all that, Peter.”

“Pfffft, course I did babe. Who do you think I am?” He chuckled, but you just knew he was lying. What were you going to do with him? Your little thief. Stealing lots of things, including your heart. 

Peter impatiently gestured to the bags on his arms before nodding his head towards the bed, body buzzing with excitement. He was beyond ready for this.

“So, what do I have to do?” You asked curiously as you made your way towards the bed, Peter at your heels.

“Ah you just lay back and relax baby. Enjoy the rideee”

You rolled your eyes but nodded, pulling off your shirt and pants, leaving you in just your undergarments 

“Take these off too?” You asked curiously, to which he nodded enthusiastically, setting the bags down at the edge of the bed, he began sorting through the various items he had ‘bought’ (stolen)

You and Peter weren’t shy around each other. Peter would walk around naked all the time if it was socially acceptable. You on the other hand were a bit more wary about being nude, but Peter never judged you or your body. In fact, the opposite. He praised you like a goddess, treating you with so much love as well as respect. It made your heart flutter. Despite how goofy and dumb he could be at times, Peter was respectful and loving beyond your wildest imagination.

So, you slipped off your bra and panties before laying back on the bed, feet shoving the bags of food items to the side a bit to give you some more room, causing a huff from Peter who was still sorting through things.

The silver haired mutant froze in his tracks when he saw your figure. He whistled lowly and shook his head as he bit his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Damn baby, you’re smokin’. I’m so fucking excited for this you have no idea-“ he said, pulling the rest of the items from the bags before tossing the plastic onto the floor. No wonder his room was always so messy…

He crawled over you and pulled you into a kiss, eager to get things started. You humored him for a moment but shook your head, cupping his cheek 

“You are wearing far too much right now, Peter. I think it’s only fair that you take a few… layers off.” You said, gesturing to your own naked body.

You had intended for him to take them off slowly, give you a little show, but why would he do that? That wasn’t practical and he never did anything slow. He ripped his clothes off faster than your eyes could catch up with before moving off the bed to grab something from the bags. 

His cock was half hard between his thighs, a bush of silver curly hairs covering his crotch, trailing up into a sparse trail of hairs that met his belly button. What was it about his dumb, silver hair that drove you nuts?

He grabbed a can of whipped cream first, shaking it as he looked you over. How did he score someone as hella smoking as you? 

You just smiled up at him, watching curiously as he lowered the tip of the whipped cream can to your shoulder, pressing down as a small swirl of whipped cream came into contact with your skin. You shivered a bit, not expecting it to be so cold, but the cold feeling was soon replaced by something much much warmer. 

Peter’s tongue lapped at the whipped cream eagerly, his teeth even nipping on your skin a bit as he made sure to clean it all up. He licked his lips as he pulled away, eyes now a much darker shade of brown then before, pupils blown wide. 

“Damn. We should have done this so much sooner.” Was all he said, reaching for the can again as he placed another dollop of cold whipped cream onto your body. Right above your left breast.

He once more leaned down and carefully licked up the sweet cream before he made it to your skin underneath, giving gentle kisses here and there as he let his tongue trace over you.

You hummed softly, closing your eyes and relaxing into the bed. This wasn’t exactly… anything special so far. But you knew it’d eventually get there. So the anticipation was truly the best part. It was a waiting game.

You flinched at the sudden sound and feeling of the whipped cream being poured onto your breasts, your eyes shooting open as you looked up at Peter. His eyes were so dark they were hard to make out as he leaned down, licking over your hardened buds as the white cream met his tongue. He moaned softly, and once each breast was cleaned, he sucked them into his mouth, one at a time, looking up at you with the most ridiculously innocent look he’d given this whole time. Damn him..

“Peterrrr '' you whined softly, chest arching into the feeling of his warm, wet mouth. You were beginning to grow a bit impatient, ready for more. You always hated his teasing. It drove you nuts.

Peter just grinned mischievously, setting the whipped cream down on his bedside table before reaching for something else.

Chocolate syrup.

“Jesus Peter, you’re going to make a mess-“

“Nope! I happen to have an expert tongue that’ll get it all cleaned up.” He said suggestively as he struggled a bit to open the container. Once he did though, he leaned over you again, going lower this time as he began to drizzle the sticky dark syrup onto your stomach, making you cringe a bit. You’d definitely be showering later to get all the sticky remnants off of your body. 

Peter set the syrup down next to the whipped cream before pulling back to get a good view of you. And god damn did you look good. 

His tongue traced the chocolate down down down, until he was at your core. He blew onto your dripping cunt as he grinned wickedly.

Oh you’d get him back for this…

He continued to tease you like this for several moments and you debated kicking him in the groin for it. 

But finally sweet relief came as the first swipe of his tongue swept over your weeping cunt. A quiet cry left your parted lips as you looked down to see his head of silver hair, the rest of his features hidden from your view as he began to eat you out vigorously.

Usually he’d tease the hell out of you before just going at it, but maybe he realized he’d teased you enough already. Or maybe he was just that desperate to get a taste of you. Peter would definitely say it was the latter.. He hadn’t always been an expert at eating you out. You had basically taught him everything he knows now, being he wasn’t very experienced with anything when you two first met. And god did your teaching pay off.

Peter brought the pad of his thumb to rest against your clit as a buzzing sensation of pleasure surged through you. That little shit was vibrating his fucking thumb. It was so much that it was almost torturous, and you gasped, trying to wriggle away from the overwhelming touch. You had a love hate relationship with how he abused his powers in the bedroom, the pleasure so overwhelming but so blindingly good. 

Peter just laughed, and that’s when you had finally had enough. You sat up, confusing Peter before you tackled him back onto the bed, shaking your head as you used all your strength to pin him. Realistically you knew if he wanted to, he could easily overpower you, but he was humoring you, curious to see what you had planned.

You grabbed the whipped cream off of the table and tapped the tip of it to Peter’s mouth, signaling for him to open, which he did. You sprayed some of the cream into his mouth, keeping him quiet for several moments as he worked on swallowing it. 

In the meantime, your hand came to wrap around his hard length, causing him to yelp in surprise at the sudden stimulation. He nearly choked on the whipped cream as he tried to prop himself up a bit, eyes laser focused on the way his cock slid through your hand. 

 Peter finally managed to swallow the whipped cream he had in his mouth, finally able to moan out in pleasure at your touch. God you were soooo fucking good at this. It was unreal. You’d been touching him for like .5 seconds and he was already ready to bust. 

He was hot and hard in your hand, causing you to shiver a bit at the thought of him inside you. No matter how many times you two were intimate, he always felt magical inside you. Each and every time.

“Hand me the whipped cream, Peter-“ you hummed, stroking over the tip, collecting the pre-cum there and spreading it over his length.

“Why?” Peter decided to question. He always questioned everything anyone ever did. He wasn’t the brightest in the bunch but was always curious.

“Jesus Pete can you just hand it to me? I’ll show you.” You had stopped stroking him to reach for the can, which he quickly handed over to you, eyebrows furrowed in a curious sort of confusion.

Soon enough, his confusion turned into shock as you carefully squirted a little bit of whipped cream onto the tip of his cock, causing him to jump. His cock twitched lightly, causing the whipped cream to wobble, nearly making you laugh.

Setting down the bottle, you took the base of Peter’s cock back into your hand to hold it steady as you leaned down, ready to clean the sweet cream from his cock.

“Woah wait are you being for real right now holy shit oh my goddddd-“ He got cut off with a whine of his own, watching with intensity as you licked the whipped cream off of him before suckling his tip into your mouth, the cream mixing with his own cream. 

“There’s- no fucking way this is actually h-happening right now holy shitttt” Peter gasped, hand coming up to run through his sweaty silver hair, pushing it back and off of his forehead as he watched your every move. Your eyes met his own as you suckled on the head of his cock, coaxing a moan from his throat as he swallowed hard, hips subconsciously shifting up to try and get more of the feeling.

“Fuck please- gotta give me more then that baby, feels so nice- god damn-“ he cursed, writhing against the bed as you took him deeper into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag lightly.

Peter sighed heavily, stomach muscles tensing as he leaned down and gently caressed your hair, his big hands massaging your scalp as you bobbed your head on his dick.

Soon enough, Peter began to subtly vibrate, just like he always did when he was getting close to his release. Luckily enough for you, you’d learned that from experience and knew to pull away.

With one final kiss to the tip of his red, throbbing cock, you crawled your way back up to him, smiling softly as you kissed him. Sex with Peter was so hot and erotic, but in the same beat so soft and comforting. You felt so safe in his arms.

“So, is this living up to your expectations so far?” You asked against his lips, smiling softly as you leaned over him. 

“Better- god so much better-“ he shook his head, laughing softly as he pulled you into a kiss before flipping you over onto the bed, getting between your thighs as something popped into his mind. Another idea, but this time he wasn’t as shy in asking.

“Can I try out another fantasy of mine?” He asked, stroking his cock before he rubbed the tip against your clit, causing you to moan softly, arching your hips up against his. And in this kind of situation, how could you say no to anything he asked to try? It was simple. You couldn’t.

“W-what is it?” You asked, breath heavy as you bit your bottom lip between your teeth, looking down as he slid his cock between your folds, teasing you as he let his tip slip in before pulling back.

“Want to cum inside you. Fill you up. Be my little cream pastry.” 

He had such an awful way with his words, the sensual moment gone, replaced with a laugh from you as you grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down closer to you.

“That’s fine Peter, I’m on the pill but I- never call me your little cream pastry ever ever again.”

“Aww, really? I thought it was kinda hot..” he sighed, shaking his head as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Definitely not, now get on with it, Quicksilver, I don’t have all day.” You pulled him closer, gripping onto his shoulders as he finally slipped inside of you, his arousal mixed with your own making it all too easy for him to slide in with zero resistance.

“Jesus Christ-“ he moaned out, gripping onto the bed on either side of your head tightly as he rocked into you, his heavy balls slapping against you with each thrust.

“F-fuck baby- fuck Peter so good to me, so good Quickie.” You moaned out, wrapping your legs around him as he sped up his thrusts. He could go fast. Freakishly fast, but he always waited for your word to go for it, not wanting to hurt you.

“You’re so good to me” Peter cooed as he thrust into you, his cock hitting spots so deep inside you it made you ache, pleasure mixed with a hint of pain. “Too good to me- letting me try out my kinks with you- so- so fucking nice to me.” He grunted, hair falling into his face as his breathing quickened. You knew neither of you were going to last long, too desperate for release.

“We’re  going to be so sticky, Peter.” You giggled, out of breath as you clawed at his shoulders. Each time he thrust into you the air got knocked out of your lungs. 

You could see that he was restraining himself. Holding back from how fast he really wanted to go. Poor thing, it was always such a struggle for him, trying to go the speed of the world when he just wanted to speed through everything.

“Peter-“ you spoke gently, carding your fingers through his sweat-dampened hair. He peeked up at you, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Y-yeah?” He panted out, burying his face into the crook of your neck, licking at the skin there as if you were his own personal candy.

“Faster baby, you know I can take it, I’ve taken it before.” You whispered against his ear, and it nearly had him cumming right then and there. Holy fuck, it was the conformation he needed, and he wasted absolutely no time at all. He braced his hands on the headboard, letting his fingers curl around the wood until his knuckles turned white.

He sped up in the blink of an eye, fucking you so fast and hard that it was bordering on painful. His groin slapped against your clit in such a way that caused you to moan out, the friction being just what you needed.

“There we go- fuck- such a good boy, such a fast boy” you moaned out, your words were punchy, each time he thrust back into you, you choked on a cry, holding onto his shoulders for dear life.

He reached down between the two of you, rubbing his thumb over your clit perfectly, and if that wasn’t enough, a subtle vibrating had erupted from Peter, not only was his thumb vibrating subtly, but his cock was as well, buzzing inside your warm, tight walls, making you choke out another ragged moan.

Peter was barreling towards the finish line, but he always needed to have you finish first. Not just because he was a gentleman, but because the spasms of your cunt around his cock when you released caused a much more intense, pleasurable orgasm for himself.

“Please cum for me baby, please need it so bad-“ he whined, his thrusts beginning to lose their rhythm. His bottom lip was bitten tightly between his teeth as he tried so hard to restrain himself from cumming.

It didn’t take much more for you to fall off the edge. The way his thumb was vibrating against your clit with just the right amount of please, the way his cock hit spots deep inside you that made you see stars. It was a recipe for the perfect orgasm if there ever was one. 

Your back arched as you clawed at his shoulders, burying your face against his chest as you came with a cry, your whole body shaking as pleasure coursed through each and every bone in your body. 

When he felt you clench around him, Peter was a goner. He gave a few more half hearted thrusts into you before he came deep inside your walls as you clenched around him, milking him for everything he had.

It was almost too much for Peter, the way your walls hugged him tightly, pulsing around his now sensitive cock. He stayed inside you for several more moments before pulling out, watching the trail of his cum that leaked out of you, and damn. If he hadn’t just came so hard, he’d be ready for round two. 

He collapsed next to you, looking over at you with a goofy smile. Hair all fucked up, chest heaving, pupils blown wide. He looked wild in the most beautiful way possible.

“That was-“ he panted, at a loss for words as he turned to face you, his hand reaching out to gently caress your side.

“That was the best sex we’ve ever had. Hands down.” He laughed softly, his breathing beginning to calm as he came down from his high. It was so intense, it took him much longer to recover than usual.

“We need to shower.” You grimaced, feeling the remnants of chocolate and whipped cream beginning to dry and become tacky.

“Babeeee- in a little bit, let me revel in how good this way-“ 

You shook your head, cupping his cheek as you placed a kiss to his lips, tasting the leftover chocolate as well as your own arousal. 

“We can have more fun in the shower. Only if you’re up for it though-“ you said, shrugging as you sat up. If he didn’t want to shower with you, you’d just do it by yourself.

“Hey! Wait!” Peter sat up with lightning speed, his abused cock giving a pathetic twitch of interest as he crawled across the bed to you, grabbing your hand. He had the most pathetic pout on his face you’d ever seen.

“Pleaseee? I’m coming! I’ll shower right now!” He said, standing up, picking you up with him before he sped off to the shower, setting you on the side of the tub as he got the water to the perfect temperature.

“Ready for round two?” He said, the biggest smirk ever set on his lips. Dear lord, you were in for a longgg night.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

*It felt strange going back to how things were before the sleepover. A familiar feeling of dizziness washed through Destino. It was the same one Felix and them felt when they were just about to leave the Underdark. Weird. That whole sleepover event was odd. They could remember what happened however some details were fuzzy. They couldn’t remember the being that was with them. Not even a name. Why not? Looking around, Destino drew themself back to the current situation. They were on top of a rocky mountain, it was night and the three of them were heading down a tunnel to go to Terrestria. Yes. That was it.

Destino followed Hope through the tunnel. Felix hovered close by. The absol wondered how long this tunnel that led to Terrestria had been around for. Was it since that trade deal Hope had mentioned around 400 years ago? After then? Or perhaps even before? All Destino knew is that they were in unknown territory and they wouldn’t be able to use their handsome face to travel around. The disguise didn’t look too bad however.

After what felt like ages walking in awkward silence, they made it to a leafy covering. Hope leapt up with ease. Destino struggled to pull their body up so Felix offered a hand, to which the absol accepted.*

*Hope went on ahead, walking through the wooden door in front of them. She didn’t want to waste anymore time on this pointless discussion. Destino followed, with Felix in tow. Felix hung his head low at what Destino had said. He was annoyed with himself. Annoyed he’d let something so secretive slip that easily to someone he barely knew. How was Hope able to get that information out of him like that? It was too late now. Felix would need to have a conversation with Destino to try and clear the air.

The narrow corridor stretched out before the group. Three doors of a similar fashion stood to the left side of the room, each with a towering rock column facing them on the right side. A few stained glass windows were seen along the right walls, each with unique patterns on. A mosaic mural slotted in the centre of two of the windows, each of the tiles used in its creation a different shade of colour. A door hung on the opposite side of the short corridor.*

*Hope could hear a rather loud voice coming from behind the closed door in front of her. A recognisable voice. One that sounded awfully panicked too. The other voice of higher tones. She had to time this perfectly. Hushing Destino’s constant complaining about the similarity of the architecture, Hope told the duo a signal she wanted to use to alert them of the right moment for them to enter. She wanted to brace her old man first before he got to meet the absol he’d heard many stories about. She knew there’d be some level of excitement for Destino’s arrival. Listening in, she could hear the conversation clearer than before.*

*The surprise hit King Flint like a ninjask at full speed. It was them. Prime Destino. In the flesh. He never thought he'd see the day anytime soon, considering what their parents had said about them. Destino, glaring towards Hope, spoke with annoyance. They weren’t going to let Hope call them an idiot when it was clearly her fault. Felix, not wanting to cause anymore freak outs, hid inside of Destino’s shadow. Not the most comfortable hiding place but it’d work for now.*

Destino: Oh I see, it was my fault that your signal wasn't good enough. Of course it was. It totally had nothing to do with the fact that you were taking far too long for my liking.

*Noticing the spear, Destino turned to face the wielder of the weapon, lowering it a bit with a single paw.*

Destino: And you need to get that damn stick away from my face. Do you really think you’re intimidating anyone looking like a walking potato? Come on, a four year old would laugh at you. I would say try harder but I doubt any amount of effort would fix your predicament. Hope, you need better bodyguards. Ones that don’t look like that.

*Flint still stared in disbelief. It really was them. With hushed tones, he spoke to his daughter.*

King Flint: So, Nox and Karma were telling the truth after all. You really did go down to the Underdark. I thought they were pulling my leg so I sent them back on their way.

Hope: Yeah. It was pretty interesting down there. I know Destino’s parents described the huge chunks of crystal ores and all but it’s a whole other thing seeing it. Turns out that prophecy is real too and Destino just so happens to be a part of it.

*The prophecy. One that had been passed down through their family for many, many years. Flint had told it to his daughter as a story, much like his family had to him. It was spoken as fact but there was always some part of him who thought that it may be untrue. It had grave implications if it was indeed coming into fruition.*

King Flint: Was it the Guardian who told you?

Hope: And she told me I was responsible for getting them too.

King Flint: Really? Well, I know we can trust her but I still would have preferred you letting me know where you went off to. I can’t have you running off to who knows where.

Hope: It was a bit of a time-sensitive thing.

King Flint: I see…

*King Flint gave a big smile towards the absol.*

King Flint: Well, I’ll be damned. The Prime of the Underdark. Never thought I’d ever get to meet you at this rate. Your ma and pa have told me all about you, kiddo! Stan, you can put the spear down. They’re not going to cause us any harm!

*The hitmonlee, still worried about the absol making a move towards his king, slowly lowered his spear. With suspicious eyes, he followed the movements of the absol as they made their way towards King Flint.*

Destino: Oh thank the Gods you have tight control over this one. I could see the murder in his eyes from the moment he set them upon me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stabbed me in the back in this instance. Stan, was it? Keep your spear at a distance away from me, buddy. Or better yet, leave this room so I don’t have to look at your repulsively-bald head ever again. Would probably be best for the both of us.

*The Hitmonlee stared Destino, frustrated by this Absol’s comments. He looked towards the king for some reassurance but all he could see was his majesty laughing at his predicament.*

King Flint: Hahaha! You are hilarious! Utterly hilarious! If you weren’t the heir to the throne of the Underdark, I’d love to have you as my personal jester!

Destino: Wow, I’m hurt by that. Truly, I am. You see me as a lowly jester. Hope, you and your family are not making a good impression on me.

King Flint: That was a compliment, kiddo! I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in a long time! Your parents never told me you had a sense of humour! Please, I’d love to hear some more of your insults!

Hope: Dad, stop that. You really don’t need to make their ego larger than it needs to be.

*Destino, Felix, Hope and King Flint are available for 6 questions.*

[motleycrueobsessed]

The crüe's reaction to there teen kid having a alcohol,drug and smoking problem

OH MY GOD YES ILYSM.

—————————————————

Headcanons below the cut!

Warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and addictions!

Nikki Sixx:

He would be.. more than concerned.

He knows what its like to have those problems.

It almost killed him.

“Why?..”

He would be angry, because he doesn’t wanna see his child go through the same things he did.

Especially if its some hard drug.

He would genuinely freak out if it was heroin.

He would NOT be happy.

“Do.. you need help? Are you addicted?..”

If you are, his concern would be super super high.

If you’re not, he would still be worried and try to get you off of them to prevent an addiction.

“Why.. did you even start in the first place?.. you know its bad, i’ve told you all the stories to try and prevent this..”

He would definitely lecture you, and he would get super emotional doing it.

He doesn’t want to see his kid go through that.

He knows what its like.

—————————

Tommy Lee:

Tommy was an alcoholic.

He knew he was setting a bad example

But he never expected you to pick up his bad habits.

Tommy KNEW you saw him doing drugs, smoking and getting totally wasted..

But he never wanted this for you.

He had been drinking like two gallons of vodka every day.

And it made him super upset that you picked up his bad habits.

He didn’t know whether to be concerned, sad, or angry.

He was somewhere In between all three.

“Why did you think it was a good idea? I know im not the greatest dad in the world and i haven’t set a great example for you but i never wanted this for you..”

Just like Nikki, he would ask if you are addicted.

If you are, he is sending you off to rehab.

He just wants you to be okay, whether you want to go or not.

If you’re not, he won’t send you, but just like Nikki he would try and get you off of everything before you got addicted.

—————————————-

Vince Neil:

He would NOT be happy.

His kid? No way..

He would be super upset.

Now of course, he would help you get away from all that.

He was still your father after all.

But he wouldn’t be happy.

But he wasn’t exactly angry either.

Now did he go beat the person you were getting this shit from?

Absolutely.

But he didn’t really yell at you much.

He was concerned.

Especially if it was hard drugs.

You didn’t see your dealer for a loooong time after that.

Like a solid month or two.

And he was wary to deal to you after your fathers visit.

And he totally raised the price.

—————————————————

Mick mars:

Mick was super concerned.

He wasn’t very angry.

Just mostly “Why? Are you stressed?”

He just wanted to know why you started in the first place.

“Do you need to go to rehab?

Mick had seen addictions front row.

They weren’t pretty.

And he didn’t want that for his kid.

Especially not his teenager.

If you declined rehab he would ask “Are you sure? Are you addicted or is it just.. on occasion?”

If you were addicted he would try to push rehab on a little more.

If you weren’t, he would help you himself.

Now he wasn’t much for drugs as his band was..

But that didn’t mean he didn’t know how bad it was.

“Kid, you gotta listen. I would rather you be the kid thats seen as uncool rather than the kid in the coffin.”

——————————————————

This is probably one of my better posts

Its not exactly long

But I’m pretty sure its longer than my other posts

[blushweddinggowns]

Mike wasn’t homophobic, okay? He just wasn’t. And he really wished that Dustin would stop making jokes about it. He knew that he was kidding and he knew that he kind of deserved it for how much he shit on Steve, but he still didn’t like it. 

He didn’t want Eddie to think about him like that. He didn’t want anyone to think of him like that. Them being gay wasn’t the issue, there was no issue. He just would never understand what Eddie saw in the guy he decided to devote his whole life to. 

Because Eddie was awesome. He was so freaking talented as an artist, as a storyteller, as a musician. He was confident, took zero shit from anyone who dared to comment on his weird hobbies, and… he was kind of hot. But not like in a gay way, of course not. Mike wasn’t like that. More… in a tough guy kind of way. Especially when he got to bear witness to him beating the ever-loving shit out of Billy Hargrove, which outside of the things El could do was probably the coolest thing he had ever seen. 

He’d be lying if he said that Eddie wasn’t the sole reason why he started growing his hair out in the first place. He just… wanted to be like him. Even if he still would never understand his choice in romantic partners. 

It wouldn’t never not be weird seeing Eddie and Steve together, even after all this time. Like okay. Yeah, Steve wasn’t ugly. And he could be funny sometimes. Maybe. And yes, he was brave as hell and may have saved his life once or twice. But he still didn’t get it, not really. Though… Mike also didn’t quite get why El was into him either. Not when she was literally a freaking superhero and he was just… himself. 

Huh.

But that realization still didn’t make him understand why the two of them were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was because they’d known each other for so long? Everyone knows they weren’t actually together in grade school, but that didn’t stop the two of them from acting like they were. Eddie never missed the chance to mention that they’d been together for over a decade, always with a big, dumb grin on his face. 

It makes Mike’s mind wander into odd directions. It was so weird, being with someone for that long. It would almost be like if he and Will had gotten together as kids. Except they had known each other even longer, since Kindergarten. What would that be like? Would they be just as weird as Eddie and Steve? In all honesty, Mike kind of thought that they would be weirder. If he was gay. Which he wasn’t. And neither was Will, so it was a moot point, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it. 

Maybe it’s because Eddie and Steve are always shoving how in love they are down their throats. It was so stupid that it kept making him think about Will instead of his actual girlfriend. Whom he loved. Like a lot.

Just… not enough to say it recently. But it’s not like it’s a big deal, right? It was just in letters. Besides, saying I love you felt like an in-person thing, didn’t it? It was more romantic that way. He’d say it to her when he saw her next, simple as that. She’d only have to wait a few more months, though Mike felt a little… weird about their plans for spring break. 

Technically he had no reason to feel like that. Everything was totally fine. El was doing great in California. Will was probably doing fine too, not that he asked anymore. He… didn’t like to think about Will much at all anymore, for reasons he’s not quite sure of himself. 

But not thinking about it was so much fucking easier. He was too busy enjoying his first year of highschool, something that he would never have thought was possible. But Eddie and Hellfire just had that effect on him. Though… he could really do without the sessions where Steve was hanging out in his lap. 

It’s not that seeing them together grosses him out or anything. Well… it does. But in the same way seeing Nancy and Johnathan making out was gross. And it kept making him think of all of that weird Will shit. If anything it starts to piss him off a little, even more than his sister’s relationship used to, it was seeing how happy they always were. 

But he was in control of it. Maybe his mom was right about teenage hormones making him crazy after all. It’s not like it has anything to actually do with Will. 

Right?

From the newest chapter of this fic

[writersmorgue]

Febuwhump Day 17 - Hostage Situation

Inspired by this prompt

TWs in tags || read on Ao3 || wc: 996

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

Katsuki watches in horror as the villain raises the gun to Denki’s temple. 

The man is halfway to death’s door already, having taken a severe beating in the battle that led them here. He can’t survive much more, definitely not a shot to the head. 

“Hold the fuck on,” He curses his voice for wavering, the villain’s eye glinting when he realizes he hit a sore spot, “don’t do any of that shit. What are you attacking the Commission for?”

Katsuki tries to keep his hands steady, pleading no sparks set off and freak out the villain. 

The man chuckles, raising an eyebrow, “So quick to negotiate with me, dearest Ground Zero? I thought you’d be tougher than that. I’m sure this pathetic boy is nothing more than a pebble under your boot.” He nudges the gun harder into Denki’s head, smearing blood from an earlier wound. 

Denki winces, eyes fluttering. Katsuki sneers, shifting his weight, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh,” The villain takes the bait, “I need to know the location of Overhaul’s little doll. Unfortunately, the heroes I asked before weren’t too keen on letting me search for her freely, so I figured I’d go to the source. They probably keep the lab rat in the lab, correct?”

Katsuki’s jaw flexes at the mention of Eri. The young girl was under Aizawa’s care and had been since she was freed, but that was top-secret information, and no one so motivated had come looking. 

“So!” The villain jolts Katsuki out of his thoughts, “Tell me her location and let me go free or the little bitch here gets it!” His finger flexes over the trigger, Katsuki’s blood running cold. 

“If I told you where she is, we would both die. I’m under oath.” Katsuki explains lowly, holding his hands out, “Her caretaker would kill you before you made it within a mile of her.”

The villain’s smile widens, “Ah, but you do know where she is? I see.” 

Shit. Shit . 

Katsuki clenches his fists, shaking his head, “You’ll have to get through dozens of other heroes. The best I can do is let you go.”

For a moment, Katsuki’s heart lets him believe the man considers it. He angles the gun down, grazing it over Denki’s arm. 

He lets his eyes close for just a moment, breathing in to steady himself. 

A bang and a blood-curdling shriek snap him out of his temporary calmness. 

Red eyes snap open, looking first at Denki’s head, but seeing no fresh wounds, he looks down. 

The villain had shot right through the hero’s wrist, leaving his hand mangled and dangling at a horrible angle. 

“The little brat has a rewind quirk, I’ve heard. Seems to be true from how tightly they’ve got her secured.” The gun travels up Denki’s shuddering arm to his shoulder, “Might want to take us to her if you want this one to live, hm?”

Fuck, FUCK. 

Katsuki freezes, totally and completely lost. 

He could attack now, catch him off guard when he thinks Katsuki is cornered. 

But most likely Denki wouldn’t make it. 

No, not an option. 

He could agree, but he, the villain, and most likely Denki as well would be taken out for endangering Eri. 

He doesn’t have any bargaining power here, what else would the villain want that could distract him long enough for Katsuki to grab Denki and go? He only has his bracers on him, boots, comm device, aids, the dumbass American coin Denki found on their last patrol that Katsuki never took out of his pocket-

His eyes dart up to the blond’s mangled wrist, bloody tears carving a path in the dust caked on his face. 

Denki dies or they both die endangering a child. 

Katsuki looks down at his hand, ignoring the taunts from the villain tracing the barrel of the gun up and down Denki’s side. 

He reaches his palm up and places it at the side of his own head. 

The villain snickers, pressing the gun to Denki’s temple again, “You wouldn’t.”

He briefly wonders what his younger self would think of this. Him, threatening to kill himself to protect dunce face of all people? The idiot who almost killed their entire class trying to make toast, the dumbass who fried all of Katsuki’s arm hair off once, the motherfucker who was Katsuki’s second real friend at UA- the one who sat next to him without fear even when he threatened to break his neck.

A hundred of his deaths are worth one of Denki’s. If either of them should survive this, it should be him. 

Katsuki takes a deep breath, “I would rather die than kill someone innocent, especially a child.” He smirks, “You’re not getting shit from me. You pull that trigger and I blow: You’re back to the start.”

He can tell the villain is starting to believe him. 

“But- the media-”

Katsuki quirks an eyebrow, “You really think the media knows shit about me?”

His hand flexes on his head, and he can feel the nitro seeping into his hair. Even if he lives, he’ll be a walking matchstick. 

The villain growls, shaking Denki slightly, “I’m going to kill this fucking brat, and you’re not going to do a fucking thing. You’re just a lowlife hero who cares for no one but himself.”

“Would I still be here if that were true? You took my friend hostage, not me. Fortunately for him, I do give a shit about his dumbass.” 

Denki is thrown to the ground, Katsuki flinches at the movement but doesn’t let his hand move from his head. 

He winces at Denki’s poor wrist, hoping he can get the guy to a healer in time. 

“Take your fuckass twink, I’m fucking out of here.” The villain spins on his heel, sprinting out of Katsuki’s sight. 

He heaves a breath of relief, stepping forward to kneel by the other hero. 

Fuck, I can’t believe I just did that.

[circusgoth-dotcom]

Wash, Cut, & Dry

Ship: Gabriel Morgrave x Phil Allen

Word Count: 951

Summary: The first time Gabriel and Phil meet, takes place a year after the events of the film. Gabriel is a model and backup dancer for a minor celebrity; while filming a music video, a storm blows in and filming is paused for the time being. Gabriel's boss sends him to the on-set stylist because he wants something different done with his hair, but the stylist quits halfway through and abandons the project. Another person on set instructs Gabriel to go into the nearby town and find Phil Allen's barbershop to get himself fixed up. Wanted to leave the ending kind of ambiguous and also hey he said the thing he said the title of the movie zhzhzh

Tag List: @canongf @futurewife @rexscanonwife

It was a terribly windy and dark day in Keighley, the kind of storm that drove customers away from the streets and kept them cooped up in their homes. Still, several businesses remained open in the pouring rain up and down main street, including Phil Allen’s barbershop. He sighed as he sat beside the front window, a mug of steaming coffee in hand and contemplating if he should close up shop and spend the rest of the afternoon reading in his apartment. He took a sip as a flash of lightning lit up the street. He whistled lowly, half-impressed by the sight, then startled to his feet as the door opened.

The air filled with the combined sounds of rolling thunder, rushing wind, and the tingling of the greeting bell, followed by the wet and disgruntled sounds of the entering customer.

"Good lord…" Phil exclaimed absently as he set aside his coffee and the customer yanked the door shut behind them. They wore a dark brown frock with only two buttons buttoned and generally looked a mess, with their choppy black hair plastered to their face.

Spitting and pulling strands away from their mouth, they spoke. "Are you Phil Allen?"

“Aye, I am. How can I help you?”

Relief seemed to emanate from the customer as Phil took their soaked coat, revealing a form-fitting leather coarser top and ripped skinny jeans. They offered a hand.

"Gabriel Morgrave, I'm a model and backup dancer for Clancy Westermann… we were shooting a music video when the storm blew in and Clancy wanted something different done with my hair, but the hairdresser totally freaked mid-cut and ditched us. One of the higher-ups told me to find you…" Gabriel peered through his dripping hair at the award plaques above the salon mirrors.

"Well, whoever this higher-up is, they've sent you to the right place. Please, take a seat. I'm going to grab some towels and I'll have my son put your coat through the dryer."

"Oh, you don’t have to…" Gabriel held out his hand for his coat, but Phil kept it out of reach.

"I insist. I don't want this Clancy fellow, whoever he is, getting in a kerfuffle because you caught a cold. I'm doing you a favour, now sit."

“Yes, sir.” Gabriel shrugged to himself and sat in one of the styling chairs. Meanwhile, Phil walked to the back of the shop and made his way half-way up the stairs to his apartment.

“Brian!”

There was a long enough pause that Phil continued, thinking to himself, don’t make me call for you again, until he heard the door open.

“Yeah, da?” Brian appeared at the top of the stairs. Phil handed him the frock.

“Run this through the dryer, won’t you? We have a customer, he’s just come in from the storm.”

Brian took the coat, though a confused expression formed on his face. “You wouldn’t normally do this for any other customer…?”

“Well, it sounds like he might work for a minor celebrity, so I want to stay on his good side, right? Hop to it.”

Brian nodded and disappeared back into their apartment as Phil returned to the shop, picking up fluffy, fresh towels on his way. “I apologize for their lack of warmth, but they should do the trick for drying you off.”

He handed one to Gabriel to dry off anything that wasn’t covered by the coat, then set to tousling his hair with the other. “My word, you weren’t kidding when you said the stylist marooned you mid-cut, this is ghastly… who would do such a thing?” It almost physically pained him to look at the rough cut and split ends as he worked.

“I think he felt overworked. Clancy is a very particular man, but his mind can change on a whim. Not everybody can keep up.” Gabriel cleared his throat as he dried his face. “I suppose I’m lucky.”

“So, what kind of cut was he looking for, anyway?”

A tired, bored look came over Gabriel’s features as he set aside the towel. “Oh, I don’t know,” he ho-hummed. “Would it frustrate you if I asked you to surprise me? Clancy won’t be mad, so long as you fix the disaster the last guy left behind.”

Phil peered at their reflections in the mirror, his brow furrowing slightly as he barred a sigh. He didn’t much like when clients told him to surprise them, as it was their own fault if they didn’t end up liking what he did. Before he could answer, Gabriel spoke again.

“Think of me like one of your models. You’ve won quite a few championships, I see.”

“I’ve only ever worked with one model…” He absently examined Gabriel’s hair, running his fingers through it and cringing at the uneven lengths. “She retired last year and I don’t know if I’ll ever enter another tournament without her.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows raised, intrigued. “We’ll see about that. Just try fixing me up, alright?”

“What…? Oh…” Phil waved his hand dismissively and went to open his drawer of tools. “Fine! But don’t come crying to me if Clancy fires you because I bunked up.”

By the time the words fell from his mouth and an embarrassed rose captured Gabriel’s cheeks, Phil knew he had gone too far. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, luv. Let’s get this over with, shall we? Deep breath… trust me, you’re in good hands.”

Gabriel inhaled through his nose, speaking a little stiffly. “Just prove it to me, alright?”

Determined to do right by this stranger, Phil plunged on, taking out several sizes of scissors and two electric razors, setting them on the counter. “Let’s start with a blow dry.”

[thenavysealkie]

Maritime Magic || Mahuika & Marcus

Timing: Current-ish

Location: The beach/ocean, Hanging Rock, Harborside

Parties: @thenavysealkie & @endlessevenings

Triggers: None

This made number three. The third person that Marcus had to drag back to shore, just this week! Weren’t the winter months supposed to be less busy? Once the would-be victim got his legs back underneath him, he was sent on his way with, hopefully, a powerful lesson about not getting in the water without knowing how to swim. 

“I swear, if the town doesn’t kill some of these people their own stupidity will” Marcus said, shaking his head. He couldn’t be there for every swimmer turned victim. He’d found plenty of corpses and dragged them back to shore just as he would a living person. However, they did serve as a reminder that every person he saves very easily could end up like the floating bodies he came across instead. 

He was tired, and he was hoping to return to the lighthouse just to kick back and relax for a bit. The sun had yet to set, so his watch hadn’t technically started yet, but he took more solace in the lighthouse than he had in his own home recently. Just as he was about to head inside, however, he heard a screaming in the distance.

She was actually totally chill about water. In the same way that someone with ophidiophobia was chill about snakes. (That was the phobia of snakes, by the way – she’d googled it for funsies one day). So why Mahuika had stuck around a coastal-freaking-town in freaking-Maine of all places was as much a mystery to her as it would’ve been to anyone who knew her. 

Luckily, few people did. Which was totally chill, because the fewer number of people who knew her, the fewer number of people who could figure stuff out that she didn’t want figured out. Which was good. 

Except that sometimes she got a little cocky about things – and yes, she could admit this about herself. That was part of what made her such a good person. Mahuika very much figured that she was a good person, and this was just further proof of that. She liked science, she’d excelled in mathematics. She was freaking good at proofs. Just, as it would happen, not so great at looking where she was going (on the coast), and a few rocks got loose and suddenly she was in the water (salt water, which tasted horrible in her mouth) and she couldn’t help but scream. She was a shit swimmer, and the water was really really super dark.

Marcus looked behind him to see a woman crashing into the water, and it didn’t seem like she was doing a great job of even treading water. Marcus took a deep breath and put his head into his open left palm before shaking his head and running towards the drowning woman. Given how the waves were already starting to come over her, he knew he wouldn’t have much time until she was submerged. At that point, it’d be very tough to find her without shifting into his seal form first. He palmed his pelt, ensuring he had it just in case.

“Hold on!” he yelled as he ran closer to the woman. 

He really hoped that she wouldn’t completely go under before he got there. Some people had a tendency to sink like stones and, while swimming was something he excelled at, diving was not. His feet padded along the wet sand as he finally neared the woman, who looked to slowly be losing her struggle with the crashing waves. 

Salt water tasted funny. Not funny good – and honestly, not totally funny bad, either. But it wasn’t good. It was horrible, actually. Nothing to do with the ocean was good. Well, Mahuika supposed that some animals were good and beneficial and helpful, but the ocean on the whole was just bad. She heard someone’s voice, vaguely, far off (though she hadn’t been that far from shore, had she?).

She slipped under, for a moment, then back up, before she was about to try and see if somehow she was able to control the water (it didn’t work). But a figure appeared next to her and without even thinking twice she grabbed onto them. “I – shore. Now. Please.” Mahuika coughed out. “I’d very much like to not be in this fucking water any longer.”

As Marcus approached the drowning woman she quickly clung onto him without missing a beat. He was used to people grabbing onto his shoulders with their full weight, and was grateful he was strong enough to keep both of them afloat as they did so. Too often a rescuer would be pulled down by the victim they were attempting to rescue, resulting in both people drowning. He had heard many stories of it happening, and had even seen it a time or two out on the field. 

He made sure the woman had a secure grip on him before he made yet another grueling trip back to the shore. At least in this instance he didn’t have far to go, but the fatigue from the day was seriously starting to set in, and it was obvious he was moving more sluggishly than he normally would. 

Soon after, the pair reached the shore line and Marcus ensured the woman he rescued was on her feet before collapsing onto the sand, spitting out sea water as he did so. The woman didn’t appear too worse for wear, and he hoped the same could be said for himself. After catching his breath for a moment, he sat up and said “You gotta be more careful. The currents this time of year are unpredictable, and a riptide can come on at any moment. If I wasn’t here…” 

Then, rather than chastise her further, he simply shook his head. He was frustrated at the folly of humans, but this woman didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of that frustration. Hell, she had just avoided drowning to death, the least he could do was show a touch of sympathy rather than berate her. Marcus took a deep breath to recompose himself. 

“Sorry, just having one of those days. Are you okay? Do you need any kind of medical attention?”

She wanted to snap at his reminder for her to “be more careful”, because what? Mahuika was a very careful person (when she wanted to be) and this stranger judging her? So not it. Still this stranger had saved her life and she was probably supposed to be grateful for that (not even probably, she genuinely was), but that didn’t mean she couldn’t also be annoyed and frustrated about things. She was amazing at multitasking, after all.

Mahuika brushed her hand through her hair. She was so going to have to go home and wash it with extra shampoo and conditioner, which was a total waste of money, proving once again how stupid and awful and terrible the ocean was.

“I’m fine.” She coughed, spitting water out of her mouth, “or, like, at least mostly, haha.” She resisted making a face and figured she should be rewarded for that. Except that this dude had just saved her and asking for a reward at a time like this was so not tactful. Mahuika wanted to be tactful. Most of the time. “I might need a towel? But I don’t think I need medical attention. Unless it looks like I do?” She frowned.

For having almost drowned, Marcus couldn’t help but notice the woman seemed pretty non-chalant about the whole ordeal. Something told him this wasn’t her first offense. To Marcus, she seemed okay. Her color was good, she was moving appropriately. She was able to speak without difficulty, and Marcus hoped he wouldn’t end up being annoyed by this fact. 

“You seem okay, aside from being soaked of course. I don’t have a towel on me right now unfortunately, I came running as soon as I heard you hit the water.” He said flatly. The adrenaline from the situation was starting to subside and he finally started to look at his rescuee as an individual instead of another dumbass almost getting themselves killed. 

“I uh, take it you don’t swim much.” Her ineffective flailing was proof enough of this. “What brings you to the beach then? Especially so close to the shore line”.  

Marcus was always perplexed by people who made it a habit of being near the water yet never learned how not to die in it. It was like setting up a lawn chair next to an active volcano. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t know if I’m okay, but it’s – I’m alive.” It was easier to focus on that than on her fear. Her fear that shouldn’t have ever even existed, because fear made you weak and Mahuika was not weak. She refused to be, and that would work.

“Well, I’m glad you were there to rescue me.” She offered him a small smile. Because she did have to be nice because he’d saved her life, and she wouldn’t be alive without him, because you couldn’t control water no matter how hard she’d tried (she could remember trying when she was tiny, being pissed that she could help people confess love, could make her siblings bring her snacks, but couldn’t move water around.

“I don’t. No. I – well, I can’t. Not technically.” Or well at all. Much at all. Mahuika sighed. “I was out for a walk and I slipped. I don’t usually do that.”

“Alive is a very underrated thing to be,” Marcus began. “You’re on solid ground now. Well…solid as sand can be I guess,” he continued, finally allowing himself to laugh a bit. He had saved a life. And while the work could be tiresome, it was also rewarding. Remembering this is what he needed to help keep himself going.

“I’m glad I was too. Don’t know if I’d forgive myself if I saw you washed up here tomorrow morning.” There was a brief pause, just enough to be really awkward, before Marcus realized how morbid what he had just said really was. “Not to be all gloom and doom or whatever. I’m just saying. I’m glad you’re alive.” 

“A lot of people slip around here,” Marcus often wondered how. He figured the sand would add a little extra grit to people’s feet, but it seemed to do the opposite for most. “Maybe they should set up rope barriers or something? A lot of other piers and beaches do that. Makes it a lot harder for people to fall in.” He then shrugged his shoulders. “What do I know? I’m just the guy that hauls people back in.”

“That it is. It’s a great thing, and too many people make a waste of it.” Mahuika wasn’t exactly going to go about explaining in what ways she thought people were making a waste of it, and then of course, there was that girl, whose name she tried to forget, who’d been taken and not even had a chance to waste or not-waste her life.

She thought she was going to be sick for a moment, but she spat against the rocks and shook her head and everything was better (temporarily, at least). “Doom and gloom’s part of life sometimes, but yeah, that was a bit… much.” It was, and he’d admitted as such, so wasn’t it more rude of her to claim that things were super wonderful and hunky-dory? It was, Mahuika decided. If he didn’t think so, his loss.

“Ropes might be good. Yeah. You also should get a better job. Unless you’re a lifeguard in which, well, I think I might still tell you to get a better job but at least saving people would be your whole job.” She fought off the desire to roll her eyes, and, just for a little bit of fun, willed her savior to do a spin in place. Something simple. Just to make sure that nearly dying hadn’t taken her powers. That would be worse than death.

Marcus found himself agreeing with the woman’s sentiment. People often squandered their life and health. He figured people in this town would be more grateful for their lives than in other places. 

“Sorry…I don’t have much of a filter lately.” It was true, Marcus had much less tact since William was killed. The burdening weight of death seemed to be looming everywhere for him ever since. 

“Lifeguard is only part of the job. I do maintenance and lookout work at the lighthouse over there” he said, pointing to the lighthouse nearby. “I really like it actually. Guiding ships to safety, saving wayward swimmers caught by the waves. It’s rewarding work, but incredibly exhausting.” 

Without warning, Marcus felt his muscles twitch and he quickly did a small rotation in place. What the hell was that? Marcus eyed the woman suspiciously before slowly backing away. She must have been more than she appeared to bed to be

“I’ve been told that I, too, at times lack a filter, so you’re all good there.” At least he was relatively easy to talk to, though Mahuika certainly wasn’t paying too much attention to their conversation. Which yeah, was probably rude, especially to somebody who’d just saved your life, but she also didn’t really care. Which sounded bad, even if her head, but there was simultaneously a certain delight in that.

She gave a half-hearted shrug at his comment about work. “Well, lighthouses are quite nice.” Which was a lame and half-baked sort of thing to say, but what exactly else was Mahuika supposed to talk about? The weather? As if! 

He backed away from her after she’d made him turn around, which was intriguing. It might’ve meant nothing but it also could’ve easily meant that he knew more about Things than most people in this town. Huh. “You good? If you want any like, payment, I’ve got some random-ass Certs in my car. Or I could give you like, five bucks? It was in my jeans, so it’ll need drying out, but it’s something. Or I can just leave.” Mahuika raised an eyebrow. “I don’t even know your name, though, so like, what’s up with that?”

Marcus was thankful the woman seemed to understand at least. “I’m usually more…reserved. Just one of those days, you know?” Marcus found that “one of those days” was often a surprisingly good excuse for mildly bad behavior.

“Well, they help stop shipwrecks and save thousands if not tens of thousands of lives a year. So I’d say they’re very nice” he said, somewhat defensively. He could tell the woman didn’t have much interest in maritime affairs but figured she could at least appreciate the business of saving lives. 

As Marcus looked on at the woman horrified at what she may be, his anxiety rose when she asked for his name. The odds of this being some sort of fae magic were far too high for him to give her his name. No way would he fall for that. 

“My name…you can call me Mark.” He figured it was close enough. “You really don’t have to repay me. Honest. In fact, I should really get back to work. Never know when someone else might need saving. Nice meeting you though!” He said, hurriedly turning to leave. If she were some sort of malicious fae, he needed to get out ASAP

“Yeah, valid.” There wasn’t much more Mahuika could say, and she was pretty sure there wasn’t much more that needed to be said, honestly.

Another nod. They were nice, and they were very Maine-vibe-aesthetic too, or whatever. A lot of Maine knickknacks had lighthouses on them. That, and blueberries, and moose. The guy was getting defensive and she really didn’t like that. Didn’t like the whole vibe he was giving off, mostly because it seemed like he didn’t like her, and that meant his vibe was off. For sure. Nobody could not like her. He hesitated, and she figured his name was a lie. “I’m Missy.” She chirped. Short for misinformation. She giggled at her own joke. “That’s fair, dude, I’ll see you around, okay? And I’ll do my best to stay out of the water.” Goodness knew that that was more for her sake than anybody else’s. She watched him move quickly away, before giving another shrug and turning on her heels to walk back to her car. A little bit of trauma was no excuse to leave the bedrooms at the motel uncleaned.

[demigod-shenanigans]

I’ll answer the Harley stuff first because I may or may not have a snippet for the Piper one ;)

So, I feel like in Fate verse (I’m just gonna call it that, series title for that series of oneshots is “fate and other technicalities”), Harley’s siblings (especially Nyssa) tried to make sure he didn’t see Leo when things were really bad early on. They let him know Leo was hurt, because the whole Leo blowing himself up and Jason carrying into the infirmary missing a leg and covered in ash was kind of a big deal that would have been hard to miss, and they let him know that Leo is going to be okay, but they don’t want Harley going to the infirmary while Leo is still out cold.

Harley insists he wants to see him and probably sneaks in. Curses at poor sleep-deprived Jason that he should have protected Leo better but Jason already feels like it’s his fault and him just agreeing that it’s his fault actually doesn’t help Harley feel better so he just kind of pats Jason’s arm awkwardly and apologizes. They just kind of sit there together for a bit and Harley squeezes Leo’s hand and tells him to wake up and that he’s stupid and then darts out again (it’s all a lottt for such a little kid)

I also like to think that the ring/fold-out crutches were Harley’s idea. Hc that maybe he had an injured leg at some point during the whole Hephaestus cabin curse business and remembers how annoying it was figuring out where to put the crutches when he wasn’t using them, so he didn’t want Leo to have to deal with that, and all of his siblings come together to help to make the crutches.

He’s the one presenting them to Leo totally claiming he made them all by himself and Nyssa lightly raises an eyebrow at him and he sighs and goes “I guess the others helped, too” and Leo just laughs and ruffles his hair

A lot of what you’re asking regarding Piper will be saved for tchig, and I can’t go into that too much for spoiler reasons, but I do have a Piper WIP that’s a sort of companion fic to tchig and takes place at the same time as Leo’s little… trip, so I’ll share a preview from that! (Obviously this takes place bit later than we are in the current tchig timeline, so there’s some slight spoilers in this snippet)

“The demigod you’re trying to reach is currently outside of my service area. Please try again later,” a tinny voice sounded through the rainbow.

“What do you mean, he’s outside your service area?” Piper asked, struggling to keep her voice calm.

She was trying not to cry.

Not being able to reach Leo wouldn’t have freaked her out on most days—he’d told her he needed some space to process things, and as much as she wished that wasn’t the case, she understood—but today of all days, it was just too much. “Thank you for choosing the Iris Messaging service,” the voice from the rainbow continued, ignoring her question. It was fucking recording. “If you would like to end the call, please press red. If there is anyone else you’d like to contact-”

Piper did cry, then. Forget not crying in front of the stupid rainbow goddess. She couldn’t help the sobs building in her chest. Couldn’t help the way her thoughts spiraled. What if something had happened to Leo? What if, after everything they’d been through, she’d lost him, too? If she’d gotten him back just to immediately have him ripped away from her again?

A little over three months ago, Piper had cradled Jason’s lifeless body in her arms after a mission gone awry.

She’d gotten better at dealing with the grief and the memories since Hazel and Frank had gotten her in contact with a therapist—a child of Bacchus that Piper didn’t have to hold anything back from. Talking to her helped. But a few months weren’t enough to heal the kind of grief that came with losing a section of your heart.

Piper hadn’t loved Jason the way she’d initially thought she did, but she had loved him. He’d been her best friend. When they’d lost Leo, having Jason to hold her through it had been the only thing keeping Piper sane. Jason, who was a terminal optimist and believed against all odds that Leo was okay—that he had to be okay, because he was Leo, and there was nothing he couldn’t do if he set his mind to it.

And Jason had been right. Leo was okay. But he hadn’t lived to be reunited with him.

Leo had taken it the hardest out of anyone. They were all grieving in their own ways, but Leo had shut down completely. Piper hadn’t seen him cry much before it had happened. Leo joked his way through most situations with worryingly practiced ease. To an extent, he’d still done that with Jason’s death. But he’d also sobbed into Piper’s shoulder until his voice failed him. He’d cried a lot during the weeks he’d stayed with her, and more in most Iris Messages after.

Piper couldn’t imagine what it was like to only realize you were in love with someone after they’d been ripped away from you for good.

But she was grieving, too. She would have held Leo through it all, if only he had let her.

So! If anyone would like to be distracted/cheered up a little please feel free to send me some short valgrace/lost trio prompt and I’ll try to write a drabble or do some headcanons or something. Sfw stuff only please but otherwise I’m good with pretty much anything request-wise

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”