#i would not be a good movie reviewer though bc i am very easy to entertain

[chanxious]

I am possibly the first person to watch The Inheritance (2024)

[shay11a]

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again. 

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that. 

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING) 

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.  

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece. 

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything 

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius. 

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic. 

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters 

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.   

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has  consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective)  makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area. 

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing. 

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant. 

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious 

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking. 

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?” 

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part.... 

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you…  ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled”  This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333 

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her.  Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow. 

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else) 

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.”  The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me  

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?”  <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you 

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here 

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way. 

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?”  No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends. 

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most  natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this 

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus 

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is 

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable. 

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best  way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails. 

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again. 

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun 

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads 

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism. 

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that. 

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ 

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t. 

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU 

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! ! 

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece 

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful 

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable 

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry 

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind 

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you  sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part 

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man 

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin. 

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff  because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there 

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the  and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school 

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl 

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

[surrealsunday]

Am I the only one who didn’t hate season 5 ?? I see so many people trash on it but, even though I totally hated the love triangle, I actually think it was pretty good when it wasn’t about that ?? And even then, I think they definitely ended the love triangle in a good way (as in, Alexia standing up for herself and Arthur ending up single). And of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion but it just feels weird bc I feel like I’m the only one who thinks that ??

Oh babe, for sure not. I imagine there are lots of people who loved season 5. A lot of the time negativity tends to drown out positivity. Truly don’t feel weird about feeling the way you do. It probably just takes a little more time to seek out people who feel the same in the skamfr fandom because critical analysis posts will naturally get a lot more attention (and I don’t mean that in a bad way - I am all for analysis and overthinking haha) whereas when people enjoy something they don’t always feel the need to state that as actively (it’s like how people are far more active leaving negative restaurant reviews than positive... just weird human nature).

I also think how we critique content like television and movies should be allllll about expectations. Like I love both Legally Blonde and Shawshank Redemption. I didn’t go into Legally Blonde expecting Shawshank Redemption... and the same thing applies in reverse. They’re obviously entirely different films but I loved them both for meeting or exceeding my expectations of what they were supposed to be. With that said, it’s very easy to get caught up in what others expectations were for the content you’re enjoying. It sounds like you haven’t done that - and quite frankly, that’s awesome. Your expectations for s5 were, for the most part, met - you were entertained as you wanted to be entertained. Maybe it wasn’t perfect but you were satisfied. So yeah, there’s absolutely nothing to feel strange about there. It’s different for me. If I had gone into s5 without context or expectations, I’m not sure... maybe I would have felt differently. But s3 shaped my expectations for what I wanted skamfr to be and s5 truly didn’t meet them. It’s a pretty personal thing though I feel. Which I suppose is why I’m pretty ‘yeah that makes sense’ when it comes to very different opinions about the season... there’s absolutely room for all.

So yeah, I am positive you are not alone in feeling that way about the season. And hopefully differing opinions don’t get you too down. You enjoyed the season overall and honestly that’s the best possible case scenario!

[ofchlve-blog]

hiii everyone ! i’m lily, i’m nineteen years young, living in the est timezone, and my preferred pronouns are she/her ! i love everything about harry styles, trash reality tv, and my miniature dachshund :~) as a srat queen, i was so excited about this rp and now that i’ve been accepted i can’t wait to rp with yall ! below is information on my baby, chloe crawford ! if you’re interested in plotting, you can hit me up through tumblr ims or on discord @𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐧𝐨. 𝟏#5964 !!

⋆ ╰  another  year  at  hollingsworth  ,  another  year  of  the  big  six  rivalry  .  i  hear  that  CHLOE CRAWFORD  is  ensuring  KAPPA KAPPA DELTA  gets  a  solid  pledge  class  and  stays  at  the  top  of  the  ranks  .  oh  ,  you’re  not  familiar  with  HER  ?  CC  is  the SCARLETT LEITHOLD  look  alike  from  CHARLESTON  ,  SOUTH CAROLINA  .  apart  of  PC  ‘16  ,  she  is  majoring  in  DRAMA/THEATER  and  has  plans  to  STAR IN HER FIRST MOVIE  after  undergrad  .  it  makes  sense  they  pledged  their  house  ,  their  CHARISMATIC  &  ROMANTIC  attributes  make  them  perfect  matches  .  however  ,  their  FLIGHTY  &  SACCHARINE  attributes  keep  their  name  alive  on  greek  rank  .  if  you  don’t  catch  them  dancing  to  POST MALONE  -  SAM FELDT  at  a  fraternity  band  party  this  year  ,  you’ll  be  sure  to  catch  them  nursing  their  morning  hangover  at  THE KAPPA HOUSE  .  cheers  to  another  wild  semester !

ok i wanted this to be short but i LOVE intros so no promises >:)

chloe harper crawford was born on july 23, 1998 in charleston, south carolina. she is a cancer-leo cusp. her mother is savannah crawford nee harper, an ex-pageant queen, and her father is andrew crawford, of the charleston crawfords.

the crawfords are a veeeery old-money charleston family, and chloe’s father was one of their most successful outputs, running the family business perfectly. chloe and her younger brother braden (born three years after, and the heir presumptive to the crawford throne) were the crown jewel of their picture-perfect family.

chloe’s mother started training the girl the day she was born to follow in her footsteps as a future miss south carolina. despite having the perfect blonde curls and the big blue eyes, the pageant lifestyle didn’t come easily to chloe - she didn’t have the edge, that certain bite needed to slice someone open with a razor-sharp smile.

however, in this training chloe realized that she truly loved the stage, the spotlight, the adoration of the crowd. it didn’t take her long to channel that energy into acting.

though chloe struggled in school, acting made her feel at home. it gave her an outlet, a place to shine, unlike the classroom where she felt awkward and slow. as she grew, she learned to channel the confidence acting gave her into her social life, and suddenly she was the center of attention. being a pretty, rich blonde didn’t hurt either.

as chloe approached college age, it was practically a given that she would go to hollingsworth, rush kkd like her mother, major in something safe like communications or pr, marry a good southern boy, and return to charleston to continue the family legacy. however, she went against the wishes of her family and instead applied to nine different schools, all for their drama programs. she got into all nine, but ultimately decided to go to hollingsworth anyway.

hollingsworth proved to be a place chloe could thrive, that provided her with tons of opportunities. one such opportunity was a short film, written and directed by a semi-famous hollingsworth alum. chloe auditioned and got the lead role, filming over the summer before junior year.

she thought it would be nothing, just a bit of experience for her resume after she finished college and started the hard stuff. but when the film was shown at the new york film festival, it got surprise rave reviews and a lot of attention. suddenly, chloe was a hot commodity, and she’s had offers from major film studios, including a signed contract for a role she’s supposed to play just after she graduates from hollingsworth.

just as chloe’s fortunes were going up, however, her family’s were going down. the summer before her senior year at hollingsworth, the family business was exposed as having corrupt practices, and is on the verge of shutting down. though chloe’s father claims he knows nothing about it, he’s being investigated for fraud.

she’s very VERY nervous about interviewing, press appearances, and the general business of being a rising star. although she acts like a social butterfly and is a very charming girl, it doesn’t necessarily come easy to her. deep down, she still feels like the awkward kid in class, who doesn’t quite fit in or get it, no matter how hard she tries.

despite her high social standing due to being in kkd, she’s one of the sweetest girls you’ll ever meet. she definitely doesn’t subscribe to the idea that kappa girls are better than anyone else -- unless you cross her, she would never hurt a fly and in fact goes out of her way to be nice to people. she truly believes in the idea that everyone’s fighting their own battle and you don’t need to make it any harder for them.

despite that, if you do cross her, and do something major, the claws can come out. she’s not afraid to stand up for herself although she tends to wait a little longer than she should to speak out.

she’s a hopeless romantic and falls in love so fast. she loves being in love just as much as she loves the person she’s with. mostly, she loves being in a relationship and she gives her heart and soul to the person completely.

she’s not the brightest but she is truly kind and sweet.

she’s probably super involved in kkd! she lives at the house and like... probably is that girl who wears her letters everywhere and constantly talks about formals and frat boys. idk whether there’s like ‘positions’ in the rp but i could def see her as recruitment chair or social chair!

chloe is HEAVILY inspired by serena van der woodsen, cher horowitz, elle woods, and bianca from 10 things i hate about you !! she’s a bubbly blonde who has this magnetic appeal you just can’t say no to.

some wanted plots i have for her:

ok so i really want a squad !! like her best friends, ride or die, would do anything for each other ! they could be from any srat or frat, idc !

in the same vein... ex friends / enemies ! honestly chlo prob doesn’t have a lot of these bc she’s too much of a pushover to actually stop being friends w someone but like... maybe something big happened ? let’s plot it out !

party buddies / go-to formal dates ! just some people she really vibes with but maybe aren’t on the level of bffs

crush ! someone little hopeless romantic baby chlo has her eye on :~)

friends to lovers ! i am a SUCKER for this and would love it for chlo. give me a best friend who knows all her secrets and they end up... ~in luv~ ! bonus points if they’re both crushing and don’t know it

secret hookup ! is it an opposites attract thing ? do they just not want anyone to know ? PLS bring me this it would be so fun

(ex) - friends with benefits ! could be either current or a past connection, but would def be fun to work with !

exes - good terms or bad terms ! i love some fun romantic drama and this could def provide that !

co-stars ! ok so i posted THIS but like... imagine how GOOD this wld be... playing love interests but in real life they hate each other or have a crush or something jdfhksjdhf

[ichirukilover]

Ok it’s a mess and I don’t understand half of the tweets I found but it doesn’t seem like the movie was bad, it seems the general reaction is good. I tryed to translate some, there may be errors but I only posts the things I am pretty sure about, if you see incorrect things please tell me. I don’t have time so I’ll only focus on the IchiRuki ones, bc that’s what I care about.

I  found a long review here I don’t get it all but I'll try to sum up what I got. This person wondered how far the movie will go, she/he said some part worried her but it was better than she expected, she is really glad she saw the movie. Said the Grand Fisher fight in town was too dangerous and made a lot of damage, she critized that Ichigo doesn’t fight like that but for the movie’s sake it had to be flashy. (I said the same thing when I saw the trailer LOL); Yuzu and Karin are cute and really similar you can’t tell which is it, this aspect was different from the original. Swordsman? (I think the fights?) was really cool. The story is easy to understand.

Onto IchiRuki she said, the characters are somewhat different from the original, and as she thought their relationship can only be seen the best in the original (she said she is really critic here). IchiRuki in the movie are more honest/open? than the original. Then I don’t understand well this part she says there were scene that looked like a love comedy and then other it was like lI’ll be your friend. (I didn’t get which is it? lol). She says it was disappointing Ichigo could talk normally about his mother and there was a missing memories in the rain scene (I don’t get which scene but since she is talking about IchiRuki I guess Rukia’s speech?) and she is disappointed about this. The high five scene is unquestionably cute. Rukia’s voice and hair are different but it’s cute. Sota is cool (I know, I know lol) and sweet, there is not wrinkle between the eyebrow (lol). She says it’s wonderful when Ichigo says he was saved by Rukia so he will protect her. She thinks it took too long for Rukia to enter the scene and go to Ichigo after Byakuya slashed him. The IchiRuki farwell scene, she says that since she loves the original scene so much, she though it was a bit bad but was relieved that Rukia repriminded Ichigo properly.

She/he said Chado and Ino/ue don’t do anything particular, maybe they will the next time, even if she wonders what. Also Ren/ji was only beaten up, she says the action was cool, the CG impressive and the music good. She says smethign about RUKIA’S MEMORY IS LOST???? I don’t know this is? Doesn she mean Ichigo loses Rukia’s memorie??? WHUT?? She ended up her post with “I want to read the original, there was no poem”. 

This was long, I couldn’t get many points unfortunately. Now more short thoughts about the movie under the cut

実写BLEACHはイチルキ！とか迂闊に言えないが、一護とルキアの関係性を軸に置いてあるのは間違いなく、言っちゃなんだけど杉咲花さんて性的魅力には乏しいタイプの女優さんで、だからこそ作り手側が念頭に置いたという「恋愛では無く友情で結ばれた関係」を描くのにも相応しかったのではないかと。

Bl/each live action is IchiRuki! There is no doubt that the relationship between Ichigo and Rukia is the focus. I have to say it but Hana san is scarse actress on the sexual appeal, so that’s why the director kept in mind “not love but a conncected friendship” (and I don’t get the last part but really fuck you if you think he chose a “less” sexual appealing actress bc it would be safe for the “no love” relationship, that’s not how it works, oh well the movie is IchiRuki that’s good lol)

ルキアが可愛くてさ、圧倒的にイチルキ派であったことを思い出し、ふと悲しくなった。

Rukia is cute, it overwhelmingly remebered me I was IchiRuki school (shipper I guess) I suddenly got sad.

BLEACH実写、想像してたより良い部分めちゃくちゃ沢山あった…イチルキ好きな人は見た方がいい…

“Bl/each live action” I don’t get if she says “there were lots of good parts than I imagined or “there were more meesed up parts than I imagined” sorry TT but I’m interested in what she says here “people that like IchiRuki better go see it”

原作者が「キャラクターの関係性は変えないでくれ」って言わなかったらラブストーリーにしてたんだろうな…寒気がする…。

If the original author did not say "Do not change the relationship between the characters" I guess it would have been making a love story...I feel cold...

実写はイチルキ、一雨って感じつえーぞ！ってゆーか吉沢雨竜クソかっこいい！

LA is IchiRuki, Ishida I felt it! Ryo was terrybly cool as Uryuu!

観てきました。ボロボロになっても 立ち上がる一護❣️一護とルキアのほのぼのしたやり取りやお互いの想いやりに感動💕💕💕続編希望❣️

i have watched it. (don’t get the second line). Stand up Ichigo. I was impressed byt the Ichigo and Rukia heartwarmings interactions and feelings thowards each other. I hope for a sequel.

実写見てきました〜 ｡ﾟ(ﾟ＾o＾ﾟ)ﾟ｡ 尊すぎる二人の絆に涙が堪えられませんでした。 最終回以来、今も悲しい想いをされている方がいたら（私と萌趣向が合致されるならば）ぜひ見て欲しいです。私は浄化されました。ありがとうございます。

I have watched LA. The bond of them is too precious I could not endure the tears. If there are people that still feel sad since the ending like me, please i would like you to see it. I was cleaned up, Thank you very much.

ルキアの揺るがない芯もちゃんと窺えたし、しかもイチルキの鍛練！は良いなかわいいな　石田が浦原さんを尸魂界を追放された死神と説明しちゃうのはなんで？と爆笑必至だが　映像技術も殺陣も良かった。

I could see Rukia’s unshakable core, moreover IchiRuki training! (I don’t get the rest but I got the best)

実写鰤鑑賞二回目。イチルキ最高だと改めて思うし、お互い命がけで相手を護り合う姿に涙…！特に印象的な終盤バトル後の二人の切ないやり取り、表情、熱演、凄くて泣いた。他にもグッとくるシーンあり、試写で観た時より確実に今回の方が感動できたのには驚いた。初見は色々と違いが気になったからかも

Second LA view. Again I think Ichiruki is the best, wanting to protect each other with each other life, I cried! especially after impressive exchange after final battle, espressions, performance, I cried so much. There are many good scenes and I am surprised I was touched even more this time, maybe because the first time I was concerned about the looks.

恋愛話も考えたってことは、実写制作側が一護とルキアの関係に恋愛も感じたからか。まず、作中の多数のキャラがこの二人を男女の関係に見てる描写があるので、一護とルキアが原作でそう見えるよう描かれてるのは明らかだから、そう感じてもおかしくない。実写でも二人の関係が結構煽られてて萌えます！

Thoughts about love story,  the LA porduction felt romantic side for ichigo and rukia relationship. First of all because there are characters in the work that see at ichigo and rukia relationship as a man and woman, it’s obvious ichigo and rukia are protraied to look like in the original, so it doesn’t feel weird. Even in the LA these two relationship feels fuzzy and moe!

映画見た後は自失呆然だったけど、小説版で復活した！＼(^_^)／総括→バリバリCGでよかったし、イチルキの修行シーン最高だった！

After watching the movie I was a bit down but I revived with the novel version! the cg was cool, ichiruki traing scene was the best!

瓦礫のとこでルキアが一護を助け起こそうとするシーンの福士くんの目が、ラブシーンかと混同するのでやめてくださいとTLで見かけるたび思う。でも見てる。

The scene placed in the rubble where rukia helps ichigo Fukushi kun’s eyes (the actor) I confuse it with a love scene everytime I see it, please stop. But I’ll still watch it. There is also an answer to this tweet

私も思った…ずっと思ってた！あの目は…ふ、福士くんんんん(；▽；)ってなったよ衝撃だったよただの友情には見えないよ…

I always thought that too! Those eyes....fukushi kun it was shocking I can’t see just friendship

イチルキやっぱ最高に大好きだー！！！

IchiRuki is the best, I love it! <<< she just watched the movie

イチルキで���ん殴られた

I was beaten up by IchiRuki

Okay I think that’s enough, there are not many spoilers here, more how people felt but all in all it seems the movie is well liked. At least many Ichiruki shippers look pleased with it.

[washijournals-blog]

Few TIPS for LANGUAGE LEARNING!

Hey guys! I am not an expert or anything but I just wanna share some tips to you that helped me learn a new language.

Be patient

Learning a language is definitely not easy. You cannot be fluent in your target language in just a week bc it usually takes up to several years before you can be really fluent. That is why you really need to persevere and be patient if you really want to learn. Some people stop because they think it's so tiring and it takes so long.

So before you start learning a new language, you should keep in mind that it is not a quick process but rather a very long one which requires hard work and perseverance.

KNOW WHAT YOUR LEARNING STYLE IS

Before all of this, for you to learn "smarter" and not "harder" you should of course know what learning style is best suited for you. By doing this you can focus more on what's better for you and spend less time on those methods that you are not very comfortable at.

The tips listed below is a combination for those visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic learners. Assess yourself which method is better for you and use that so that you can learn faster. However, you should still try all of the methods because some may be able to help you better in learning a specific aspect of the language. For instance, watching movies would be more helpful for learning pronunciation while reading is better for improving your spelling.

Take a test to determine your learning style! Click here or here!

Have a notebook dedicated for the language you are learning.

It is better if you have a notebook so that from time to time you can review what you have learned to be able to familiarize the language better.

Every time you learn a new word or anything new about the language, you should write it in the notebook.

You can also use your notebook as a journal in which you will have to write in the language you are learning so that you can also learn how to construct and combine sentences.

Practice daily

Set a daily time schedule where you can focus on the language. Try out different time schedules and durations and see what's best for you. It will totally depend on you if you want it to be 2 hours long, an hour, or even just 20 minutes. The important thing is that you can find a time when you can just focus and set your mind into learning the language.

Use  language-learning apps for support

I started learning a new language through an app  (Duolingo) and it really helped me learn the basics of the language I'm learning.

You can download  apps that can help you learn the basics and the pronunciation of words.

Speak/Chat with native speakers

You can learn a language faster if that's what is used by the people around you to communicate.

That is why you should speak with native speakers of the language you're learning so you can listen to how they pronounce the words or how words are used in a sentence especially when communicating with people.

However, if you don't have native speakers around you (like me), you can chat with native speakers online with the use of some apps that have this feature. In this way, both of you (you and the person you're talking to) can benefit through communicating with one another.

Watch Movies/TV Shows

Watching movies/ tv shows or listening to music in the language is also a way to improve how you speak. Through watching/listening, you can listen to their accent and how they pronounce words (It may be somehow redundant but learning how to pronounce words when speaking the language is essential)

You can also learn what emotions come with some specific expressions or words that are commonly used by natives. (excitement, anger, etc.)

Always Read and Listen

You should always read and listen to the language so that you can get the hang of it. Even though you think you are already fluent in that language, gaining more knowledge by reading and listening is still better.

TIP: AT ALL TIMES, (not only for language learning) you shouldn't just stop when you think you're already good at something because there will always be room for more knowledge. In this way, you will be the best of what you really can be.

[just-jordie-things]

Drinking Confessions (and a miracle too) - Richie Tozier

word count: 6939 warnings: swearing, smoking, drinking (lots of it), mentions of possible sexual harassment, pent up derpession and anxiety, aaaaand Henry Bowers a/n: for @i-heart-movies bc y’all were ready for some Richie Tozier and I am servin it up on a silver bronzeish platter lmao enjoy

Becoming friends was just about the easiest thing you’ve ever done.  In fact, you couldn’t quite remember how it had happened.  Sometime in elementary school you were paired up together for some science project, and one thing led to another and now you were best friends.  And Richie Tozier did not look like the kind of crowd y/n l/n would waste her time with.

He was loud, and vulgar.  He wore ripped jeans and band shirts.  His language was about as foul (if not fouler) than a sailor’s.  While he was smart for his age, he put no effort into his studies.  He smoked on campus, spent fridays drowning in liquor at one of the more popular kid’s parties.  So drunk he’d barely keep his eyes open.  He got into fights with the Bowers gang, whether he started it or not, he always finished it.  He’d spend days away from home, crashing at a friend’s place, once so out of it on a park bench in November.

You weren’t a quiet girl, and you weren’t shy.  But you didn’t quite meet Richie’s extremities.  You wore jeans, a sweater, something comfortable and soft.  You swore, sure what teenager didn’t, but not to the extent of your friend’s obscenities.  You drank with him occasionally, even sharing a smoke every once in awhile.  But your clothes didn’t reek of cigarettes the same way his did.  You stayed clear of any sort of drama, no matter what disgusting thing Henry and his goons would slur at you, you’d turn the other way and pretend to not have heard it.  You followed your parents’ curfew, even though you knew deep down they didn’t give a shit if you ever came home.  And most of all, you studied your ass off for your grades, for at least two hours a day.

But oh, the time wasted with Richie was time cherished.

You were sitting on your desk chair, feet up on the edge of your bed and knees bent to properly keep your Bio textbook in place.  Flipping through pages and highlighting anything you felt needed reviewing.  Richie, who was sprawled on your bed and feeding you nonsense about some stupid thing Henry did, was not so eager to spend his Saturday studying in your room.

“y/n, this is boring” He complained for the umpteenth time.

“You said that” You replied, words awkward as the highlighter cap was between your teeth.  “I told you that you didn’t have to keep me company” You chided.  Also not particularly fond of him distracting you.

“Why can’t we just go to Jess’s? It’s supposed to be fun” He prompted, hoping you’d cave and go to the party with him.

“We went last weekend, what’s more special about this one? They’re all the same” You said, capping your marker.  Richie groaned and rolled his eyes, sitting up to face you.

“First of all, parties are for fun, and it’s the fucking weekend, so we should have fun” He argued.  You let him go on with hi persuading.  “Second, they’re not completely the same.  Bill said he’d go” This earned a chuckle from you.

“Really? Bill?” You stated sarcastically.  “He wants to go to party with a bunch of drunks, that always just ends with me trying to get you home before you puke on yourself?” Richie stared blankly at you.

“I’ve never puked on myself y/n” He stated matter of factly.

“Even if you had, you wouldn’t remember it” You said with a bark of a laugh.  “Face it Rich, you just go to get shit faced and why can’t you do that here where I can take care of you before you kill yourself?”

“Oh please, I’d never-”

“Two weeks ago you didn’t make it home, and you spent the night on a fucking park bench” You said, trying to not sound angry as you reminded him of the incident.

When he’d told you that he was that wasted, you had completely blown up on him.  About how irresponsible he was and that it was forty degrees outside and all he’d worn was a tee shirt and jeans last night.  You yelled about all the terrible scenarios that could have happened if Stan hadn’t found him on a early morning bird watching walk.  That he could’ve gotten kidnapped or molested or killed.  Your anger only bubbled more when Richie had told you to chill because he was fine.  He didn’t know your anger had come from a place of absolute concern.

“Right, and if you’re there, it won’t happen again” He promised.  You chewed on your lip, still not sure it was a good idea.

“I don’t know Rich it just doesn’t seem healthy”

“Like you’ve got a clean ledger” He retorted sarcastically.

“Alright so I’m not a virgin pure but I am not as insane as you” You said, and both of you began to laugh.  Richie shrugging, nodding his head knowing that compared to him, you were God’s favorite angel.

“Fine, I’ll give you that one” He said, liking the way you smiled as you tried to stop your laughing.  “But still, you and I never have fun together”

“What’re you talking about we hang out all the time” You said, scrunching up your eyebrows at such an accusation.

“Sure, but we don’t go out anymore” He said, looking down to fiddle with your sheets and avoid eye contact.  “We used to all the time, especially with the whole gang but…” You sighed, reaching your hand out to his, halting his fidgeting.

After the clown incident in ‘84, you and the Losers had made a literal blood promise to stick together, to come together if something this horrific ever happened again.  But after Bev left town a few months later, everyone began to break apart.  Ben was next to go, thn Mike, followed by Stan, and then Eddie.  Bill still talked to you and Richie here and there.  A brief hello in the halls, small discussion about your weekends in class. But other than that, it was just you and Richie.  Which you’d grown to be very grateful for.

“I know” You finally breathed out.  Keeping your emotions under control.  It’s been a year of managing them and so far you hadn’t broken once, which you prided yourself for.  It was much better to handle it internally instead of breaking down like a weak girl in front of him.  Richie sighed as well, and shook his head to rid his own feelings.

“Anyways.  We should go.  In like… an hour” He decided.  You nodded, half smiling as he grinned with excitement.  “Really? We can?” He asked eagerly and you laughed quietly, looking back to your textbook.

“One hour.  And no more than three beers!” You ordered, and he nodded, crossing an x over his chest with his finger.

“Promise!” He exclaimed, and you shook your head with laughter at his antics before getting back to your studying.

Now you could use those three beers.

“WHOOO!” All you could hear was booming music and screaming as you got out of your car, stuffing your keys into the pocket of your jeans.

“I can’t believe this is your scene” You sighed, but Richie grinned at you, pushing his glasses up his nose and slinging an arm over your shoulder.

“Come on babe lighten up” He said, taking an unopened beer right out of some guy’s hand.  The guy tried to chastise him, but was too drunk already to get the proper words out.

“Jesus it’s not even ten o’clock” You said, staring wide eyed at the drunken stumbling guy.  Richie didn’t even cast a glance over his shoulder, just yanked off the metal cap and threw back a long drink of the beer.  You cringed.  “Beer is ghastly” You muttered.

“Beer is ghastly” He repeated in a posh accent he often used to mock you.  Usually when you studied and would whisper things out loud to better remember them.  You laughed, nudging his rib with your elbow but he just tugged you closer, opening the door and letting you inside first.

The house was just raging.  With everything you expected to be at a high school party.  Drunks, stoners, sluts, sweaty dancing bodies, hormones off the charts.  You stuck close to Richie, like you did at every party you were dragged into.

“Come on hot stuff let’s go have some fuckin’ fun” He said, and you managed the best smile towards him you could as he pulled you with him towards the kitchen.

“No more than three” You reminded him, and he nodded, repeating the cross of his heart as he finished off the bottle he’d been holding.  You ogled at how quickly he’d drowned the liquid, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Number two doll!” He hollered, releasing you and maneuvering his way to the cooler that was sitting next to the counter.  He fished out a bottle, and you peeked down into the large tub of ice.  Multiple things in there, and you were certain none of them were a cherry cola.

You sighed, shrugged a shoulder, and bent over to grab a bottle similar to Richie’s.  He watched you out of surprise.  Sure, you were no virgin to alcohol, but you certainly weren’t… well… experienced.  Really just a sip when passing around a bottle, one drink from the spiked Prom night punch.

“Drinking for any reason?” He pondered, and you stared at him as you popped the cap off by wedging it on the edge of the counter.  It flung somewhere you didn’t see, but you heard the metal clatter on the floor.

“Yeah” You said, throwing it back like it was normal for you.  “To get drunk” You said.  You swallowed thickly, ignoring the disgusting taste and the way it made your mouth and throat feel sticky.

Richie just stared at you, still holding his unopened beer.  He didn’t know what to say, you’d never been like this before.  But he felt some sort of relief that he was there, that if you ended up sick that he could take you home.

“Alright just… take it easy babe” He said, copying your actions to remove the cap, and taking a tentative drink.

“Mhm” You mumbled, finally stopping for a breath and wiping your mouth with your sleeve.  His eyes flickered to your bottle to see half it’s contents were still there.  He looked around anxiously, leg bouncing as his thoughts wandered off.  “I know what I’m doing, I took Health last year” You told him, waving a dismissive hand before drinking again.

“Uh huh, stay here for a moment I gotta… I’m gonna use the bathroom I’ll be right back okay?” You nodded, beginning to bounce to the music booming throughout the house.  “Don’t move, I’ll be right back” He said sternly.  You grinned, setting the empty bottle on the counter and proudly looking at it.

“And mama says I never accomplished anything” You laughed at yourself and reached for another bottle.

Richie rushed out to the living room, pushing through the bodies in search of a phone, anywhere.

“Move, move, out of the way, move” He kept muttering, trying to keep his chill around the more… begrudging… bodies.  “Move, fucking move!” He started yelling louder, being more forceful and plowing past the crowd, towards the staircase.  He climbed the quickly, opening every door he passed, and jesus there were a lot of doors.

“Get out pervert!” A girl screamed, throwing what he through was a bra towards him before closing the door as quickly as he opened it.  Snickering and wincing at once.  Just as he was about to open another one, it swung open on it’s own.  Nearly hitting him and knocking his glasses off of his face.  But he stumbled back and adjusted them, seeing it hadn’t hauntingly opened.  The person exiting the room being Henry Bowers.

“Damn Tozier… the fuck you doing up here?” he asked, raising a flask to his lips and throwing back a quick gulp.

“Looking for a phone, now get out of my fucking way” Richie groaned, pushing the older boy, (only by a year, but Henry was repeating senior year because he didn’t have the credits to graduate) out of the way and searching through the room.

“The fuck did you just say to me Trashmouth?” Henry taunted.  Richie groaned out of frustration, not feeling the need to throw a punch and argue with Bowers, so he stomped back to the doorway, shut it, and locked the door so he wouldn’t give him any more trouble.  “Pussy!” Henry yelled, then made his way back downstairs.

“Mullet wearing pig fucking asshole” Richie grumbled, punching in one of the few numbers he still knew by heart and listening to the line ring.

He could’ve sworn it had been five minutes, tops.  Just five minutes of being apart from you.  It had to have been, how much time could have possibly passed? All he did was go upstairs, and make a call.

But when he came back down to see you on the dining room table, swinging your hips around seductively to a song he knew you couldn’t have known, time seemed to have been shorter upstairs.

(Another explanation, he thought, was that all time had stopped, and it was the end of the world.  Because this was never something he would’ve guessed to see)

And as he came back down to reality, that this was actually happening, he took in his surroundings.  There was a crowd around the table, around you, cheering you on, waving drinks and offering you more.  Richie’s mouth opened, and for a split second he lost all sense of how talking even worked.

“Dance! Dance!”

“Come on baby don’t stop those hips from moving!”

Everyone’s yelling and cheering and all the remarks- Richie was about ready to throw you over his shoulder and drag you all the way home, never to party again, never to drink again.

“Hey- hey everybody out of the fucking way!” He finally found his voice, shoving through a group of the more… vulgar commenting… boys.  And that was saying something from Richie’s perspective.  “Move! That means you asshole!” His voice grew more rigid, pissed that anybody other than him would dare speak of you in such ways.

“Richie?” You mumbled.  “Rich what’re… you’re… why’re you ‘ere?” You slurred, your movements stopping as he reached out for you.

“Come on y/n, we gotta get you home” He said in his gentlest voice.  You pouted, but took his hands and let him help you off the table.

“But I don’t wanna” You complained, and he wrapped when of your arms around his neck, seeing as even in flat bottomed shoes you couldn’t walk properly.  His other arm was around your waist, guiding you quickly away from all these freaks.

“Your mom will be pissed if I bring you back shit faced” He told you simply.  You stomped a foot, but it was a weak movement and didn’t even slow him down.

“But ‘m nnnot” You slurred.

“Yes, y/n, you are-”

“You heard the girl”

In seconds you were pulled out of Richie’s arms, and he spun around instantly to see Henry holding you upright, awkwardly.  Richie could’ve socked him across the face right there.

“What, the fuck, do you think you’re doing?” Richie gritted through his teeth.  Henry smirked back at him.

“Giving this girl the time of her life” He said.  “It is a party, isn’t it?” Henry asked, looking to you.  But your head was beginning to fall.

“No no y/n don’t fall aslee-”

“Fuck off Mama Tozier” Henry pushed Richie away, making the curly haired boy scowl and leap back towards him, taking you out of his arms swiftly and into his, embracing you against his chest carefully while glaring daggers at Henry over your shoulder.

“If you ever, fucking touch her again, I’ll shove that rusty fucking flask so far up your ass you’ll choke on it.  It’d be kinda hard for you to suck dick then wouldn’t it?” He threatened angrily.  Henry moved to swing, but some guy behind him grabbed his wrist and pushed him to the ground.  The bully toppled with ease from his intoxication, and Richie thanked the stranger before rushing you outside.

“Rich?” You mumbled, and almost fell over, bringing him with you, if he hadn’t secured his hold on you tighter.

“It’s okay princess, almost to the car” Richie said softly, rubbing your arms to warm you up in the bitter night air of Derry.  “I had a friend pick us up, okay? We can come back for your car in the morning” He knew that everything he was telling you was going in one ear and out the other, but he hoped that the gentle talking would calm you down.

“M’kie dokie” You mumbled, head falling on his shoulder as he guided you the rest of the way to the street.

“Fuck Richie” A familiar voice said, but you couldn’t quite place it.  And you couldn’t keep your eyes open long enough to see more than a blurry, but… short figure? “Can she even fuckin’ stand?”

“Nope” Richie replied, opening the back car door, and hoisting you inside.  You mentally thanked him, not realizing you didn’t even say the words out loud.

“Jesus” The voice sighed.  “I’ve never seen her so fuckin’... out of it”

“Yeah.  Me either Eds” Richie breathed.  It was quiet for a moment, before Richie climbed in behind you, and the other boy went to the driver’s seat.

“Eddie Spaghetti?” You called, Richie’s slip of a name tipping you off on who your driver was.  Eddie smiled to himself, glancing at the both of you through his rearview mirror.  Richie was placing his hoodie around your shoulders like a blanket, and the thing was already too big for him so it looked like you were swimming in the material.

“Yeah it’s me n/n” He responded in a quiet voice.  His mind filling with the sad but strong feeling of nostalgia.

“Yay” You whispered, fingers rubbing the insides of Richie’s jacket.  Sometime between then and Eddie starting the car, you curled against the boy sitting with you, finding his body warmth much more pleasing than a nice smelling sweater.  “Mm you haven’t been smoking” You whispered, and Richie looked down at you as you got comfortable against his chest.

“No babe, I’ve been trying to stop” He told you honestly.

“ ‘m glad, you smell so good when you aren’t” You mused happily.  Eddie looked at the mirror again, both him and Richie sharing a wide eyed look.  Eddie’s more of shock, but Richie’s filled with… well the germaphobe could’ve sworn he saw hearts in Richie’s irises.

“Thanks babe” He finally responded, and you smiled in response.  A few minutes passed before he realized your breathing had slowed down.  “Hey, hey try not to fall asleep yet okay?” He leaned down towards you more to tuck your hair back out of your face, rubbing gentle circles on your back.

“Okay beautiful” You murmured, and worked harder to keep your eyes open.

Eddie snorted.

“The fuck you laughing at?” Richie asked, still caressing your back.

“Okay, beautiful” He gushed mockingly.  Though it didn’t embarrass Richie the way that he thought it would.  Just made his cheeks slightly pink as he looked down at your resting form, smiling softly down at you.

“Just a few more minutes” He promised you, and you nodded against him.

The rest of the ride was quiet, more back rubs and little noises you’d make when Eddie went over a bump or you passed a light too bright.

When he pulled into the driveway, you were just a few more minutes away from passing out.  Richie slid out of the car, took you in his arms.  Surprising you, as you’d tried to stand but he just lifted you up completely.  If you were in your right mind, you would’ve insisted on walking yourself.  But you weren’t sober enough, or awake enough, to care.  So you wrapped your arms around his neck and snuggled into him best you could.

“Thank you, Eddie” Richie said through the window Eddie had rolled down.

“Anytime.  Really” He replied quietly. A sad smile on his face.  “I’m always here for you guys… even if things have gotten weird and we’ve… well we’ve grown apart but… Loser’s club forever” Richie smiled back at him.  “Give me a call in the morning and tell me if she needs any aspirin, I’ve got every kind known to man stocked up in my cabinet” Both boys laughed quietly.

“Alright Eds I will.  Goodnight”

“Night you two” He responded, then rolled up the window, and drove back off towards his neighborhood.  You looked up from his chest as he opened the door and went inside.

“Hey! Kidnapper!” You called out while he locked the door behind you.  “This isn’t my house!”

“No babe, it’s my place.  My parents are out on business… I think… and there’s no way in hell that I’m taking you home this fucking wasted.  Your mom would beat the shit out of both of us” He told you.  You pursed your lips and nodded, looking around like it was the first time you’d been there.

He carried you up the steps, not even turning on the lights so that your eyes wouldn’t hurt.  The hall was short, he thanked God it wasn’t a maze like party-house’s had been.  He walked into his room, carefully setting you in bed and wrapping you up with blankets.  Your arms were outstretched, like you were waiting for him to lift you up again.

“No no babe, you’re in bed now, you can go to sleep” He assured you, rubbing your head with a smile.

“Oh” Was all you said, your features saddened.  You shut your eyes and rolled over, and Richie took your turned away body to change into some sweatpants and a tee shirt for bed.

“What’s on your mind babe?” He asked you, adjusting his clothes as he walked around to sit on the side you were facing.

“I’m so tired of pretending” You huffed.  Richie rose an eyebrow as he began to rub a hand up and down your arm.

“What’re you pretending about?”

“Oh… just that everything’s okay, that Pennywise never happened and I don’t have night terrors, that my parents aren’t assholes, that Henry doesn’t make his comments and that I’m not in love with you.  Just tired of keeping up this whole perfect girl act in general” You were staring off at the wall, while RIchie was staring hard at you, his lips parted in surprise at what you’d said.  His hand stopped moving, his body completely frozen.

“What?” He whispered.  You yawned, covering a hand over your mouth before flicking your eyes up to his.  “Princess, did you just… did you say that…”

“Hm?” You hummed nonchalantly.  “I trust you, who’re you gonna tell?” You shrugged.  “Just don’t tell Richie!” You said, hand grabbing is arm and looking up at him nervously.  “He’d just-! He’d… well he wouldn’t be happy”

“Why not?” He asked, hand rubbing your arm again.

“Well he… he doesn’t like girls like me.  And we’ve been friends for years so… well it just wouldn’t work” Richie smiled to himself.

“I think you’d be surprised, princess” He hummed.  You stared up at him with round eyes, and he gave you a smile.  “Okay, it’s getting late now and I don’t want to keep you up.  You should go to sleep”

“Okay” You whispered, getting comfortable in the blankets and Richie fixed up your pillow for you.  “Goodnight” Your voice came out in a mere breath as your body began to shut down.

“Goodnight beautiful” The trashmouth said softly, and reluctantly got off the bed.  Just to sit in the old, and heavily worn down recliner chair.  “Sleep well” He said, before his own eyelids fell heavily.

He woke up when he heard rustling and groaning, mostly noticing the quiet, “Oh fuck… damnit… ah shit… goddamnit”  He peeked his eyes open to see the room was blurry.  He squinted but when he moved to search for his glasses, they were already on his lap.  They must’ve fallen off when he passed out last night.

“n/n?” He called.

“Shit Richie my head hurts” You cried painfully.  Richie put his glasses on and rushed out of the room. He came back just a few minutes later, a glass of water and a handful of aspirins in his hands.  You smiled as he handed you two of the pills, then the water.

“Drink that whole thing, every drop” He ordered, but kept his voice quiet so he wouldn’t disturb your head further.  A whine left your throat but you tried not to complain.  

You didn’t want to annoy Richie any more than you probably already have.  You were certain that last night you were not a pleasant friend to have around.  Besides the fact he had to take you back to his place, probably while you were disgusting and doing god knows what.  And he was stuck sleeping on a chair all night.

“Rich I’m sorry about last night, I hope I wasn’t awful” You said, eyes narrowing as the sunlight hurt to keep them open.

“No not at all.  The opposite of awful” He told you.

“Did I puke?” You asked, quietly, like you were ashamed of it.  RIchie chuckled and shook his head.

“No babe, really, it was fine” He assured you, adjusting his own jacket on your shoulders.  “I felt bad anyways, I knew you’d hurt this morning and,” He sighed, gesturing to yourself instead of finishing his sentence.  “Anyways, I’m going to go make breakfast, you hungry? Do you want anything?”

“No, thank you” You told him with a weak smile, and finished off the glass of water.

“You sure? I could go pick something up too if you’d rather, but I don’t mind making anything if you’re in the mood for anything specific” He went on, and you smiled to yourself as you put the glass on the bedside table, only for Richie to grab it.

“I’m really alright, Rich.  Thank you” You said, squeezing your hand around his wrist.  “You’re going soft” You mused, raising an eyebrow.

“Psh” RIchie scoffed and shook his head.  “I think not” He said, heading towards the door.  You shifted awkwardly as he was about to leave the room, then followed after him.

“I think you are” You said, stumbling on your own feet but catching yourself.

“Did you just fall?” RIchie asked, turning and putting a hand on your arm to steady your balance.  You would’ve swooned if you didn’t laugh quietly.

“You’re going soft, Tozier” You told him, before descending the stairs.  Stuffing your hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt.

Richie huffed, throwing his head back as you went off somewhere on the first floor.  “Only for you sweetheart” He sighed, and followed down after you.

You both had a bowl of cereal, Richie being nervous that you wouldn’t keep anything else down very well.  You rolling your eyes at him as you tipped the bowl back to drink the leftover milk.  Refraining from making another comment about his softness.

Not that you were complaining, you were loving this from him.  The tenderness he now seemed to have with you.  And you noticed, it was just you.

Through the rest of the weekend he babied you like crazy, wrapping blankets around you making sure you finished your work and showered and took your medicine, everything from a to z.  He did it, and he did it well.

You found yourself falling more in love with him than you already were.

Monday morning rolled around all to quickly though, and when you dragged your feet out the door to where Richie was waiting, in your car, you scrunched up your face.

“Are you driving my car?” You asked, mind totally jumbled as to how he’d even gotten your keys.

“Yeah, you left it at Jess’s, so I got your keys Saturday night and got it back last night” You nodded, recalling now that you hadn’t driven since Saturday.

“Oh yeah” You said, buckling in and getting adjusted.  Still wondering what had happened after you’d walked into the party that night.  “I guess I’m glad it wasn’t stolen or anything.  And doesn’t have some obscene carving from Henry Bowers” You added with a chuckle.  Richie made a sound of disgust as he backed out of your drive and headed towards the school.  “What?”

“Nothing, we just got in another dispute Saturday” He shrugged it off, but you looked at him with worry.

“Did you get into a fight?” You asked him, not having seen any bruises like he usually wore after a few rounds with the older kid.

“Fuck no, he was holding onto you and I don’t fucking know what he would’ve done if I started swinging so I just yanked you back and got the fuck our of there” He said.  Your lips pursed, not having remembered Henry taking possession of you.

“He didn’t… he didn’t like… do anything… right?” You whispered, afraid to know the answer.

“Hell no he didn’t!” Richie called, suddenly turning sharply onto another road.  Aggression coursing through his veins.  “His ass would be grass, he’d be fucking rotting in a ditch somewhere right now if he had” He began grumbling angrily, and you reaching a hand out to his shoulder to stop him.

“Richie, stop, I believe you.  If nothing happened, then nothing happened.  I’m fine” You assured softly.  He sighed, glancing over at you before his hands eased on the steering wheel.  No longer gripping it so tightly.

“I’m calm” He said after a minute.  “It’s just a lot happened that night.  I was worried about you for a while there” He said.

“What happened?” You pondered.

“After we got you home, you just seemed really depressed.  I don’t think you realized I was the one with you”

You rubbed your eyes with your fists, under the illusion it’d help you remember better.  All you could come up with was a warm sweatshirt, and the smell of liquor on your own breath.

“We?” You asked him, having caught the nonsingular word slip.

“Yeah… I called Eddie to come pick us up.  I didn’t trust myself to drive, I’d had a drink too, and you’d had… I don’t even know how much you had” He said.  You shrugged, not having known that answer either.

“Eddie picked us up?” You smiled, and Richie nodded.  “Was he… how was he?” RIchie thought for a moment on how to respond, knowing you cared more about that than he had.  Richie had only cared about getting you home.

“He was happy that you were safe” He finally told you, which was the truth.  “And he wanted you to know he’s always there for you too” You nodded, content with his response.

“Thank you” You told him suddenly.  “I don’t think I told you that yet” You eyes wandered out the window, sighing as Richie pulled into the school’s parking lot.  Nerves settled in your stomach at the thought that you probably did something stupid and now everyone would know.

“You don’t have to thank me.  What was I going to do? Leave you there? Fuck no” You chuckled, smiling over at him.

“Alright, I won’t thank you then” You chuckled softly and gathered up your things as he parked.

“I appreciate that babe” He said, shooting you a wink, and tossing you your keys.  You caught them with an awkward fumble before stuffing them into a pocket of your backpack.

The both of you walked into school together, both feeling uneasy about the day ahead of them.  Richie more so than you, but you didn’t know what had happened the way he did.  He noticed instantaneously the whispers, the odd looks and side glances.  You didn’t seem to pick up on it, so he just directed you towards your locker as quickly as he could manage.

“So uh you have US History first period right?” He asked as you twisted in your combination.

“Yep, but I’ll see you second for Calc” You replied with a short smile towards him.  Richie returned it, but it was nervous and shaky.

“Oh my God I can’t believe she even came to school”

“I know right? I figure she’d still be hungover or something”

Richie turned sharply to the two girls strutting past, having heard their whispers, he pushed his glasses up and glared them down.

“You have something you want to fucking say Miss I-had-a-baby-last-summer?” He sneered.  You jerked your head up in surprise as to why he suddenly yelled out to Sofia Hasen, who had only been walking by.  The girl scoffed, pushing her long curly hair behind her sassily and turning to him in her heel.

“Ya betta’ watch ya’self Toziah” She said, in that voice that made you cringe on the inside.  The girl snapped her gum and glared at him.  “I’m only sayin’ what I thought was ta’ be true”

“Uh huh, fucking walk on you leftover pile of AIDs” Richie retorted, stepping towards her threateningly.  You knew Richie, and you knew that while he had his rough edges when it comes to fighting, he would never hit a girl.  But right now, the fire in his eyes sure made it seem to you that he was ready to rip out those fake extensions.

“Rich” You murmured, putting a hand on his arm and staring at him with worry creasing your forehead.  He looked at you for a moment, then back at Sofia.

“Just go fuck with somebody else if I hear your voice again, I might fucking kill myself” She scoffed, but walked off without another word.  “Thank fucking God” He mumbled, feeling full of relief right up until you slapped his arm with your once gentle hand.

“What the hell Richie are you looking to pick a fight?” You scolded him, grabbing your history textbook and slamming your locker.

“She was talking shit I wasn’t gonna just fucking let her!” He replied, leaning over you.  His curls bouncing as his body moved erratically.

“Richie what for fuck’s sake are you talking about?” You sighed, crossing your arms as you shook your head.  He was making absolutely no sense, acting out strangely, and it threw you off.  Not two days ago he was warming you up when you were already content, speaking gently and being an all around sweetheart.  Now he was being an aggressive asshole.

“You… I’m talking about you y/n” He said weakly.  Your lips parted slightly, brows drawn together with shock, and confusion.  Richie hung his head.

“No, not you” You whispered.  “They.  They were talking about me” You said, expression void of any emotion.  “What the hell happened on Saturday Richie?” You asked blankly.

“Nothing crazy… nothing crazy bad” He said.  “You just danced around… on a table” Your jaw fell completely open now, eyes full of shame but also anger.

“Are you shitting me?” You said, and for a moment he thought you were angry with him.  But when you ran your hands through your hair and your eyes filled with tears, he realized you’d directed that anger on yourself.

“No, no y/n hey” He whispered, holding your small wrists in his hands and trying to meet your eyes.  “Listen, it’s alright, everyone gets drunk and does and says things they don’t mean…” He trailed off, remembering what you had said to him in private later that night.

“Said? What’d I say?” You asked, anxiety bubbling up and you could almost physically feel it spreading from your chest all through your body.

Richie opened his mouth to speak, not even knowing what he was going to tell you, but was cut off by the bell ringing.

“We’ll talk later, I promise, okay?” He said, rubbing his palm over your arm.  “Let’s just get through the day and later we can chill out and talk” You sighed, but nodded.  Richie gave you a small smile before pulling you into a hug.

Hugs weren’t new, but it’d been a while, and for the few seconds you were wrapped in his arms, all of the crippling anxiety seemed miles away from you.  But as soon as he let go, you felt it creep back in.

“I’ll see you later babe” He said, earning a small nod from you, then walked off.

For the rest of your day, you noticed every whisper, and every look.  And for most of it, you were completely alone.

“I think I’ll never drink again” You sighed out to Richie, dropping your backpack on the floor by your bed and flopping face first into the covers.

“Don’t make promises you won’t keep” He chuckled, sitting on the edge of your mattress while you whined into your blankets.  “This is all going to blow over, and something else interesting will take over the gossip in the halls.  Who gives a shit about a drunk girl? There’s tons of drunk girls” He shrugged his shoulders but you didn’t move.  “n/n, really, you barely even talked until it was just us.  And I thought it was hilarious”

“I’m a laughing stock!” You wailed, rolling onto your back and waving your arms in the air.

“No, you’re really not” He said, though he chuckled at your movements.  “Really, you’re a sweet drunk.  A sad one too, but you were sweet”

“I’ve never even heard of a sweet drunk” You grumbled.

“Well if anyone would be, it’s you.  You were all cuddly and very… kind”

“Kind?”

“Yeah, you called me beautiful and would not stop snuggling on me on the way home” Richie recalled with a good laugh.

“Oh my god” You covered your face with your hands.

“Oh it was great” Richie said between his small bursts of laughter.  “Drunk you was in love with me, she told me so too.  Then she passed out” He shook his head, eyes getting wet as he laughed and smiled so hard his face hurt.  A true, genuine smile at hearing that slipped confession.

You sat up, sitting next to him now and staring at him seriously.

“What?” You murmured.

“What?” He repeated, unsure of what you were questioning.

“I told you that I loved you?” You asked, and he nodded and shrugged, not seeing the huge deal.  You were drunk, and of course you loved him, he was your best friend.

“Yeah, why?” Richie asked, shaking his head in confusion.  “It’s no big deal n/n, I love you too, you know that” He shrugged.  “We’re best friends”  It was quiet, with you still looking at him but much more saddened.

After years, you’d confessed unconsciously, and he didn’t even take it seriously.

“Richie, drunk me isn’t the only time I’m in love with you” You told him, nerves causing butterflies to flutter in your heart.  The boy chuckled, but you shook your head, covering his hand that was keeping him steady on the bed in yours.  “Rich I’m serious” You whispered, scared that he didn’t return the same kind of love you held for him.  His expression straightened, staring at you with shock, eyes scanning every part of your expression, like maybe you were playing some awful joke.  “I’m not talking about friendship-love of anything else I’m talking about actual, real-”

Richie leaned forward, holding your cheek in his palm and captured your lips with his.  You almost sighed but kept it inside, leaning into him and wrapping both of your arms around his neck.  Just as you broke for a quick breath of air your lips crashed together again.  Like they were magnets to close to not meet.  He was soft, his thumb brushing over your cheek, his other hand on your waist and drawing you impossibly closer.  Your eyes screwed shut, giving him one last little kiss, and drawing back slowly.  Reluctantly.

Neither of you let go of each other, just sat there for a moment and stared.

“You haven’t smoked in a while” You whispered, and a small smile tugged on Richie’s lips as he looked down at you.

“Yeah, you told me you hate the smell” He replied.  Your own lips mimicked his as you shook your head just slightly.  Your fingers moving to brush the long curls that hung over his face away from his eyes.  “I love you too y/n… and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you a long time ago” He told you, and you hugged him tightly.  Richie’s arms completely encircled your waist as he held you.  “I should’ve told you a long time ago” He added.

“Yeah well… I should have too, ya softie” He chuckled, pressing his nose against your temple as he whispered in your ear.

“If you tell anyone I’ve got a soft spot for you, I’ll smoke in your room, in your car, and everywhere you go” You giggled at the empty threat.

“Oh yeah?” You mused,and he planted a kiss on your pinkening cheek.  “Good job getting out a whole sentence without a single cuss by the way” You told him.  Richie’s face gaped, surprised himself.

“Wow” He whispered to himself.  “You my dear, are a Christmas miracle!” You laughed and shook your head.

“Richie, it’s June”

“Alright then you’re just a miracle” He said, and you laughed again.

“As are you Richard Tozier”

ok but finn sorta lookin like a grown ass man in that gif up there ??? he just gorgeous

xoxo ~ jordie

[thelittlestspider]

get to know the writer tag

tagged by @the-color-of-roseblood, @ghost-possum, and @thevajunglebook. thank you for tagging me and i’m sorry it took this long.

i’m bad at coming up with questions so i’m not going to do the 10 questions. but i am going to answer the questions that were listed. also this is an open tag, so anyone who wants to do it can do it.

rules: answer 10 questions, create 10 new questions, and then tag 10 people

from the-color-of-roseblood:

1) We always talk about favorites. What’s your least favorite book?

hmmm. one book i’ve always hated is the scarlett letter. we read it in school and it was awful.

2) Do you have a favorite place to write? What’s it like there?

i didn’t really have a favorite place to write until recently. a few months ago i finally got a desk and i’ve been in love with it ever since. 

very, very cluttered. there’s all kinds of stuff piled on it. on one side i’ve got soda cans, plastic bottles, my phone; the other side is junk food, my glasses case, a couple of necklaces. i have an old sugar plum fairie barbie on the top shelf that i tried to sell, that nobody wanted even though i had it for like $5 (i might post a picture of it later bc it’s super pretty).

3) Do you have any artistic endeavors other than writing? If not, what else would you most like to learn to do?

back before the writing bug really bit me, i used to draw all the time. now i barely ever draw unless i get really inspired. 

hmmm, i don’t know. maybe sign up for duolingo and learn other languages?? other than that i don’t know.

4) What’s your favorite holiday? Why? Have you ever written a story involving that holiday?

halloween is my favorite, followed closely by christmas just bc i love the tacky decorations and the music and the movies and pretty much everything about it. 

looool i have tried to write fics involving these holidays, but they never come out how i want them to and i’ve kind of given up on it. 

5) How do you fight writer’s block?

silly answer: drink so much caffeine i ascend to the astral plane to get advice from the writing gods.

actual answer: there’s not really an easy way to answer this. sometimes i see writing posts that are like, “you have to write every day!!” and i’m thinking y’know that’s not always possible. whether i’m out of inspiration/ideas, or i’m in a depression spiral, or i’m tired from work, or maybe i’m just not feeling that particular project. it’s not a sin to need a break from your wips, bc even though it’s happy work it’s still work. and there’s no shame in needing to take a breather to get yourself sorted out. 

on days when i’m ready to write, i do different things to get myself pumped up for my wips. i’ll make playlists, make aesthetic boards, sometimes i torture my mutuals with rambles about my ocs or tag them with little excerpts from the project. i really like making an aesthetic tag so i can go and look at all the pretty stuff that makes me think of the wip, so i can remind myself why i want to write it in the first place.

6) At what point in a WIP do you decide to send it to your first beta readers/reviewers?

probably not until i’m at least done with a second draft. the first draft needs to have all those plot holes filled, all those loose threads woven back together, characters need developing. showing a beta reader my first draft would be like taking a person to a room filled with beginning sketches of people where they’re still just shapes instead of having any defining features. 

7) What’s your greatest inspiration?

i don’t think i have one lol.

8) A lot of writers have certain things they like to describe - food, clothes, fights, party scenes. What’s your favorite thing to describe?

emotional scenes where characters talk about their problems and they hug and maybe even cry. i’m a terrible person.

9) What’s your approximate ratio of reading to writing? How do you find time for both? Do you do both on the same day, or split it up?

you’re going to judge me for this, but i haven’t been reading actual books lol. the last few months i’ve just been reading fanfic oneshots with like the occasional multichapter fic thrown in. my attention span has been terrible.

10) What books would you recommend to someone to get them into reading?

i think it depends on the person. what i might find compelling, someone else might find super boring. 

from ghost-possum:

1. What is your favorite book in a genre that you don’t tend to write? If you do fantasy/sci-fi, what’s your favorite romance? If you write literary, what’s your favorite paranormal YA?

i don’t really like writing stuff that doesn’t have some kind of paranormal element. so i guess i’d say my writing enemy that i like reading is real world drama. 

my favorite books that are like idk period pieces i guess?? are Anne of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice. 

as for stuff that’s based in more recent times, there’s a ya series i really like called tiny pretty things that’s about a group of ballerinas competing against each other for spots for prima ballerina?? and there’s a lot of drama and backstabbing. it’s kind of a dark series. 

2. What book would you love to see turned into a movie or tv show? Any particular reasons why?

i can’t think of anything right now. maybe green angel by alice hoffman?

3. Have you ever written a character with a certain real-life person in mind. Was it someone you know in real life or someone famous?

some of my ocs were originally based off acquaintances, but as i kept writing them the characters changed so much that they became pretty much unrecognizable. 

4. If your latest WIP had a color scheme, what would it be?

paper heart would be red, orange, pink, and purple. the colors of a sunset with the threat of darkness falling over everything. 

5. What do you eat or drink while writing (if anything)?

s’mores poptarts if i’m too lazy to get up and fix myself something. chips. different sodas: cherry coke, sunkist, grape fanta. 

6. What do you do to restore your inspiration when you’re not writing?

watch movies/tv shows. listen to podcasts or music. look at cool pictures. 

7. Coffee, Tea, Booze, or ALL THREE?

coffee and booze. i’m not a big fan of tea. 

8. Who is your favorite visual artist?

uhhhh, does studio ghibli count? their artwork is so appealing to look at.

9. Do you have any other creative pursuits outside of writing? What are they?

maybe learning other languages??

10. What is your favorite trope, the one you will always fall for and never get enough of?

AAAAAAAAAAA, ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS. 

from thevajunglebook: 

1. Describe your WIP as a cross between two movies.

i’m trying to think of what paper heart would be, but i’m drawing a blank. this needs to be its own game where someone else guesses what movies your wip is the lovechild of.

2. What’s your favorite part of writing communities?

cheering on and also being cheered on during the writing process. getting to read all these wonderful stories written by wonderful people. knowing other people are suffering just as much as i am lol. 

3. If you could collaborate with any writer (whether friend or idol), who would it be and what would you work on together?

i am terrible at collaborating with other people lol. 

4. Do you prefer reading/writing standalones or series? 

i love reading series, but i’m not good at writing them lol. yet somehow i always end up writing series.

5. Who is your ultimate OC otp(+)?

canon: for the next three days verse it’s between leana/yvonne and jason/bella for otp status. my ot5 is carter/matteo/violet/tiffany/nina. 

for defect i’d say my otp is joe/alec. also ethan/noah later on down the line.

ot3: ned/alec/sage 

ot4: ned/alec/joe/ray.

au: joe/ned/carter

.

for the graveyard of the forgotten it’s definitely orrinaz/eliya/amnayel. 

6. If your OC(s) joined tumblr, what type of blog would they run?

i wish i could answer this question with the dedication it deserves. i feel like their blogs would have a lot of memes and shitposts with some aesthetic stuff thrown in. 

7. If you could write an adaptation of any story, which would it be?   

while i have zero desire to write an adaptation for a story, i’ve always liked the idea of a movie version of Green Angel by Alice Hoffman. mostly bc it’s surreal, a little weird, post apocalyptic, and it would just look really cool.

8. What common writing tips never work for you? And/or what uncommon advice do you swear by? 

anything that’s like, “if you don’t write everyday, you’re not a real writer!!” like chill dude. just bc i’m not cranking out 1,000 words a day like some lean, mean, writing machine doesn’t mean i’m not dedicated to what i’m doing. 

9. Do you research before, during, or after writing sessions? 

it depends. sometimes i get to a point in a fic where i’m like, “uh oh” and i go into a research spiral trying to find this one specific thing. thinking ah yes, this is the specific thing i need at this very moment that i probably could do without.

10. Have you had a writing epiphany that totally revamped your WIP?

if only. there were a few game changers in the next three days series that changed things for the better:

- the way carter and matteo first met lmao. 

- violet’s existence. 

- sage rescuing and then leaving violet and carter. 

- carter and nina’s bromance. 

- alec and carter, and also joe and matteo being siblings.

- tiffany seeing ghosts.

[naivethekooks]

christmas book haul

12/25/20-merry christmas everyone! i hope you all had a lovely day even if you dont celebrate:) i know i planned to update this blog for my year in books and take a break til then but i miss writing in this style(even if im not writing for anyone lol)

i know everyone clowns disclaimers now but oh well, i just want to clarify that i am very grateful for all of these and in no way am i trying to brag, i just thought a haul would be good content for this blog !!

wintergirls by laurie halse anderson

ahh my favorite author ! i loveddd speak so ofc i had to ask for wintergirls :) ive already started this and im about 200 pages in, so far it hasnt hit me as hard as speak did but it still blows other authors out of the park

wilder girls by rory power

i've already read this but i'm happy to own it! i originally gave it 4 stars though now i think it's more of a 3. i'll probably reread it in the future bc books about sapphics>>>

all the bright places by jennifer niven

omg turns out i got every last word by tamara ireland stone confused with holding up the universe by jennifer niven. i read and enjoyed every last word though lmao. im really excited to read this one since turns out it's from an author i've never read before and the movies gonna come out soon !! only downside is that the cover has one of those movie stickers you cant rip off but oh well. this one will be a fun read !

this is where it ends by marieke nijkamp

im reallyyy excited for this one since it happens to be wlw! it's about a school shooting from multiple povs. im unfamiliar with this author it may be her debut, but she wrote one of those cover reviews for dont read the comments by eric smith which i read recently :)

the unlikely hero of room 13B by teresa toten

i think this is either about a support group or mental asylum and im a sucker for those books. it looks like a thin book so it'll be an easy read, i'm probably gonna read it during finals week.

shadow and bone trilogy by leigh bardugo

this ones funny bc my brother asked for it and my parents accidentally ordered two and they asked me if i wanted it lmao. it's good bc im trying to get into more series and either a series or movie is coming out based on the books on netflix rlly soon :)

all in all im very grateful! books were like 90% of my gifts this year and i couldnt be happier :) please excuse any typos as im playing scrabble with my family right now lol but have a good night/day to everyone !!

[jksmoongf]

When You Least Expect it - Jackson Wang Imagine

This was requested by my baby @jaxonah and I can’t say no to her (and she damn well knows it lmao so I made her wait until today)

But firstly, 💖💖💖HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM 💖💖💖 I hope you have a fantastic birthday, even though I know you have a long day at work. I wish I could spend today with you. I just want you to know that I love you so very much and that I’m beyond grateful that you are in my life. You make every day a lot happier and brighter for me. It’s been a little less than two months since we started talking and I don’t want to ever lose you (but I think you know that, I tell you way too often bc I’m a sappy ass bitch). I really hope you like this little extra gift on your special day. Again, love you bby 💞 --------------------------

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader

Wordcount: 1788

Genre: fluff (or something like that)

--------------------------

When You Least Expect It

She was visiting her best friend who left America to study abroad in Seoul. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year so this trip had been long overdue. It was the first time that she had ever left the country, only to fly halfway across the world for two weeks. All she wanted was to spend time with her friend, taste the local food and see as much as possible of Seoul. What she didn’t know was that her life was about to turn upside down.

“Y/n hurry up, we’re late already.” Her best friend yelled, running up the stairs from the subway station. “Ugh, don’t worry it’ll be fine. The commercials are boring anyway.” She replied, hurrying after her, down the street towards the big movie theater in Gangnam. “Knowing you, you want to get snacks, so you better run faster.” The two girls ran as fast as they could, it was late in the evening and winter was approaching quickly this year. The cold air tinted their cheeks in a light pink hue. Luckily not many people were out this late during the week, so her friend went to buy the tickets, while she rushed to get popcorn and drinks for the two of them. It was anything but easy to find their seats in the dark, so she pulled out her phone to find the right seat number. “Would you mind turning that off?” The guy in the row in front of them said, his baseball cap pulled down deep to cover his face. “Sorry.” She mumbled, gesturing to her friend to just sit down right behind him. She took her coat off and draped it over the empty seat next to her. “Told you we’d make it just in time.” The opening credits started playing on the big screen and faint eerie music was filling the room. “Yeah, yeah you’re always right. We all know that.” They both giggled, but as the guy cleared his throat, they stopped. They exchanged looks and rolled their eyes with big smiles on their faces.

The movie had gotten good reviews online; supposedly it was tense and the jump scares were great. “Oh that’s so typical, the killer will be right behind her.” She groaned when the main character opened the closet door. “Did you read about the movie and already spoiled it for yourself again?” Her friend whisper-giggled behind her hand that was covering her mouth to muffle the sound. “Of course I have, old habits die hard. Oh see I was right. He’s outside her window staring holes in the back of her head.” They both laughed, before stuffing popcorn in their mouths.

It had been a long day of dance practice and fittings and all he wanted was peace and quiet, some downtime to himself where he could recharge and switch his brain off. Usually Jackson would ask one of the other members to go see a movie with him, but not tonight. It was already pretty late and they had an early start in the morning, they all valued their sleep but he just needed to get away for bit. There were only a few people with him in the room, a couple a few rows down in the front and two guys in the far back. He was sprawled out in his seat with a bag of popcorn resting on his lap. When the lights turned off again, two girls came waltzing in, giggling and using a phone as a flashlight.

Normally, he wouldn’t care about the phone or the talking, but it was taking away from the atmosphere and as soon as he had scolded them, he felt bad. They were here to have a good time and relax, just like he was. He tried to focus on the movie, but the girls kept talking and laughing, although they were trying to be quieter, he found himself growing more annoyed on the inside as they were talking through all the scary parts and even predicting the jump scares at the right time. He had to admit that they were right, the movie was predictable and most definitely not as good as the critiques online had made it out to be but after shushing them several times, he wasn’t going to let them know that. “Oh god, I swear if she’s going to fall- of course, there she goes aaaaand she’s limping what a coincidence.” The one girl said and he had to suppress a laugh. She wasn’t really invested in the movie but her commentary on all the flaws in the plot made him grow fond of her.

The curiosity inside him grew and he wanted to turn around to look at her, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Her laugh sent shivers down his spine, right down to his core and he liked the way her voice sounded. He tried to pay attention to the movie, but as soon as she started whispering to her friend, he just had to listen to her. What was going on with him? Mentally, he was slapping himself trying to regain power of his brain.

Focus, Jackson, focus… he kept telling himself. As the end credits were rolling, he could hear the girls getting up to leave. “That was a waste of money.” One of them said, as they were leaving. He quickly jumped up and turned around. They were almost at the door; he grabbed his jacket and followed them but he wasn’t able to catch up with them. As he entered the foyer they were both standing there. “I’ll have to go to the bathroom real quick.” The other girl nodded and pulled out her phone from her pocket. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage, desperately trying to burst out of his chest. Her voice and the tiny glimpse of her personality he had gotten was enough for him. He wanted, -no needed to meet her. And there she was, all by herself. For the first time in forever his legs felt unsteady as he slowly walked up to her.  He stood behind her and cleared his throat; a mixture of nervousness and excitement filled his body. Immediately she spun around to look at him with a flustered expression. His heart was now hammering against his chest while a smile spread across her face. She was radiating and he couldn’t quite grasp what was drawing him in. Never had he felt this rush before; the kind that made you feel sick but yet so good.

He could feel his hands starting to shake and it felt like fireworks were going off inside him. “I’m so sorry that we were talking during the movie.” He lightly shook his head and nervously laughed. “No it’s fine, I was a bit of dick. The movie wasn’t good and you made it more enjoyable.” She let out a sigh. “It was a bit shit, wasn’t it?” Her laugh echoed in his head, it was almost like it was fogging up his mind. Why was it so hard for him to think straight?  “Oh it definitely was but you made it better.” Her cheeks turned pink as their eyes met. She wasn’t avoiding his gaze but she seemed to feel the same strange form excitement. “I’m Jackson.” He held out his hand, which she not so hesitantly shook. “Y/n.”   “That’s a beautiful name.” A shy smile appeared on her lips. “Do you live here?” He needed to know more about her and he was dreading the moment her friend would come back and she’d leave with her. “No, I live in America, I’m just visiting my friend.” The sound that escaped his mouth sounded more disappointed than he had intended it to. Of course, it was just his luck to meet the most stunning girl, only to find out that she didn’t live here. “For how long are you in Seoul?” Her eyes lit up at his question. “I have a little over week left before I have to go back home.” He wanted to ask her out; he wanted to know if she felt the same instant connection. Should he ask her to get coffee, or to get dinner? Maybe getting drinks was more her thing? The options were endless and he knew that they all meant different things to girls. His eyes met hers again and it was the little push he needed to gather up all the courage he could muster. “Are you free tomorrow?” His hands began to sweat again and the very few seconds she took to answer felt like forever. “Yeah, I am.” He let out a deep breath in relief. “I have work stuff to do in the morning, but if you want we can go get coffee in the afternoon and maybe dinner after?” Jackson knew that it was a bold move, but he just had to try. He had never felt this way and he couldn’t quite describe what it was about her that captivated his full attention; it was like she had already stolen his heart. “I would love that.” Quickly he wiped his hands on his jeans before reaching for his phone. “Would you mind giving me your number so I can call or text you?” She nodded, and took his phone. For the split second their hands touched, it felt like goose bumps was creeping all over his body and they both pulled away quickly. She must have felt it too, he was sure of that. Her fingers flew over the screen of his phone and when he looked at her contact info she had saved her name was followed by heart emoji. With a smile, he pressed the little phone symbol and her phone started vibrating in her hand. “I’ll text you in the morning, so we can figure out the time and place.” But before she could answer him her friend appeared next to them. “Y/n, we should get going, I have class in the morning.” Her friend didn’t acknowledge his presence and was just looking at her phone. “Okay.” She turned back to him. “It was nice meeting you.” “You too, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He wanted to go for a handshake but she quickly hugged him and before he could process what had just happened, the two girls were walking away. He simply stood there, in the empty foyer trying to contain his excitement. It didn’t feel real, all his insides were doing cartwheels and he had the biggest smile plastered over his face. How was it possible that a day that started out like any other ordinary day, would turn his whole life around?

[m0onbean]

Movie Dates with ASTRO

this is a long thread!

MJ

would probably choose a comedy movie

would buy the largest size of popcorn and accidentally spill some on the way to your seats

you actually die of embarrassment around him

he would laugh at the serious moments in the movie

i kid you not this grown man would very quietly not so quietly murmur "that's what she said" 

you wanted to die but it was amusing

would embarrass you by turning around to the kids sitting behind you

"this is my girlfriend (Y/N)"

"MJ what are you doi-"

"isn't she pretty?"

the kids would nod their heads and MJ would smile not before growing serious and suddenly snapping

"she's mine though, understood?!"

poor children would widen their eyes and you would give MJ a >:( look

MJ would give you a ;) look

whenever something remotely funny happened he would look at your face to see your reaction

turns out you kept a straight face the whole movie

bc

the movie wasn't funny

after the movie ended MJ would act clingy and cute

"did you like the movie?"

"hmm it was okay"

he would whine

"you're not satisfied?"

"no if you had fun then i'm satisfied"

"let's movie hop to whatever movie you would like"

"isn't that illegal"

"it's not illegal as long as you don't get caught"

MJ would make sure you had fun by randomly snickering comments in your ear which made you two burst in laughter

throw popcorn at eachother and look away pretending as if nothing happened

annoy the employees by constantly refilling popcorn

end up watching every movie in the theater

you two are probably banned tbh

in the end it doesn’t matter

the funnest time you’ve ever had at the movies

Jinjin

lets you make all the decisions

doesn't care what movie it is

just wants to spend time with you

ends up watching a movie about dogs

jinjin would subconsciously coo "aww" under his breath whenever a dog showed up

so like

during the whole movie

you learned that jinjin loves dogs

he would mutter in your ear

"let's get a dog"

seveRAL times

"how about that breed?"

"what do you think? small or big dog?"

you would just scoff but squeeze his cheeks

"you're so cute"

would hold your hand during the entire film

would randomly tap on your shoulder

"what do you want?"

"can you hold this?"

he would stick his hand in his jacket

his hands pops back up with a finger heart

would look at you proudly

"i'm such a cute boyfriend"

you would roll your eyes but return the heart

"jinjin look here"

you would pretend to look for something in your pockets

"did you forget your wallet? it's ok i paid" he would worriedly ask

"found it!" you would exclaim

sticks your hand back up

BAM! finger heart

he would uncontrollably smile

by the time you two are out of the theaters

guess what

a dog died at the end

jinjin is literally sobbing

you hug him and soothe him

"it's ok jinjin... he's in a better place now"

he cries harder and grips onto you tightly

"snowball didn't deserve that..."

"i understand"

he would be sniffing continuously on the drive home

"babe..." 

he takes out his phone and starts typing passionately

"what are you doing?"

"i'm writing a five star review on the movie"

Eunwoo

chose whatever movie you wanted

paid for your ticket although you insisted it was fine

"(Y/N) i'm supposed to be paying you'll make me look bad"

"fine but i'm paying next time"

loves how stubborn you are about it

constantly asking if you want anything

"want some popcorn? or anything else? ice cream? mozzerella sticks? nachos?"

in the theater he would laugh inside at you

because you were like

about to fall asleep

your eyelids were giving up on you

your head kept falling

you tried your best to stay awake but

the 

movie

was 

boring 

he would notice how tired you were

wouldn't say anything but would lift the seat divider up

tucks you inside his humongous winter coat

you would snuggle inside since it was warm

wraps his arms around you 

kisses your forehead when he notices you fall asleep

lowkey grateful the date turned out like this

he was never interested in the movie in the first place

your eyebrows would scrunch up suddenly

he would be alarmed

it would look like you're in pain

he would rub your back soothingly

gives you multiple kisses

your expression would wash off your face upon feeling his touch

now you're smiling in your sleep

his heart is aching

he's trying not to fanboy right then and there

he loves you so much

when the movie ends he would nudge your shoulder

"(Y/N) wake up sleeping beast"

when you fully regain conscious you would be embarrased

"u-uh sorry if I ruined the date"

he would laugh

because

you made the date better than he would even imagine

"let's do this more" 

he would say and wink

you die out of humiliation

Moonbin

moonbin would buy the whole food shop

like

actually

"hi can i get two large sodas, large buttered popcorn, an ice cream bar, oh do you guys have chicken nuggets? yeah? i'll take that 2 lmfaO. no wtf im not done. some mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders- what do you mean the bill is over $50? scuse me im an idol"

s m h

during the movies you two would just be talking the whole time

honestly what was the point of going if you two were just gonna have  nice conversation

everybody looking at u 2 because

on moonbin's lap are the chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, and drinks

on your lap would be the chicken nuggets, and whatever tf he ordered

a F E A S T

everyone lowkey hates u guys

bc 

the chicken nuggets smelled good

and u two were conversing so casually

a kid actually kicked your guys' seat

"can u shut up i can't hear"

"scuse me i'm an idol"

"u dont look like one"

you had to restrain this GROWN man from fighting some 10 year old

don't worry about leftovers

legend says that moonbin inhales the food

you two would be having a pick up line war

"hey baby. tie your shoelaces i dont want u falling for anybody else"

"are you a laptop? bc you can make my lap warm."

"wtf was that dirty"

"no omg i swear i didnt mean it like that"

"lets break up"

a forceful kick to moonbin's chair

"SHUT THE F-"

you 2 were kicked out

what gives

the food wasnt that gr8 anyways

"its the theater's fault. shouldve put more interesting movies so we wouldnt chatter so much"

"yeah" you groaned "long movies are boring anyways"

"you know what else is lon-"

legend says that moonbin still flinches whenever you slightly raise your foot

Rocky

tHIS BOI

very quiet around people

but around you??

hohohohoho

WHO BROUGHT A MONKEY IN THIS THEATER

he's actually jumping around on his toes

"omg i'm so excite!!"

"minhyuk can u calm down"

"but the new lego movie came out and i'm really excited bc my fav character was the unicorn cat girl bc she's really nice and stuff but when shes angry shes ready to fite and i think that represents me bc u kno how im all fluffy and stuff when we first meet but like if somebody messes with me or you or anybody i am friends with they get beat up even tho im smol"

"...we're not even watching the new lego movie."

THIS KID WOULD JUST WALK UP TO THE MANAGER AND ASK FOR AN EXCHANGE OF TICKETS

"I THOUGHT WE WERE WATCHING THE NEW LEGO MOVIE WTF (Y/N)"

"YOU SAID I COULD CHOOSE"

"BUT WE'RE A TELEPATHIC COUPLE. I SENT U A MESSAGE TO CHOOSE THE NEW LEGO MOVIE."

you would massage your temples in frustration

angry -> happy when the manager lets him exchange it

in the theaters he'd be so happy

"u can be the wyldstyle to my emmet"

"mkay."

he would pout

"babe i put a lot of thinking into that pickup line so i really dont appreciate it when you start doing this to me because like i put so much in this relationshi-"

u would stuff popcorn in his mouth so he can shut up

his eyes would intently follow the movie

hes so into it!!

would laugh a little too loudly at the jokes

scrunches up face when the bad guy does something bad

widen eyes at intense scenes

when unikitty popped up on the screen

tHIS BOI

"OMG UNIKITTY!" he would scream

rips open his jacket and reveals a unikitty shirt

whole theater glaring at him

you are actually hiding in your sweater

"pls kill me"

after the movie

"minhyuk this relationship isnt working"

"wdym lol"

"you're a disgrace to me"

"huh"

"uR LIKE IN COLLEGE AND YOU'RE WEARING A UNIKITTY SHIRT TO THE MOVIES."

"i only wear my idol's merch <3"

u would sigh

he would put his jacket back on and hug u

"sry babe next time ill get a shirt with YOUR face on it"

"wow thanks"

"mhm np"

Sanha

"w-why'd u choose a horror movie"

you had to drag this tall baby in the theaters

"i don't want to..." he would whine

"please sanha"

you would perform your aegyo on him

shooting him finger hearts and comfort

"sanha u r a man u can do this"

upon hearing he's a man he'd be like

"oK i can do this i'm a man"

clinging onto your arm during the whole movie

would close his eyes and bury his face in your arm

"tell me when its over"

you would pet his floof hair

"its ok sanha, you're my brave knight arent you?"

he immediately recomposes himself and sits up straight

"yes. your majesty i will save u"

few minutes in and he gave up

is actually hugging you full on

not even watching the movie

"sanha... the movie's done now"

after u two are out the theaters

"THAT WAS AN EASY MOVIE I CAN WATCH ANYTHING NOW"

proud of himself

it was cute but

"really? wanna watch the sequel?"

sanha would loudly gulp

"um."

when he would drop you off at your house

he would be stalling time

"sanha you can go now"

"u-uh..."

"r u scared lol"

"lolololol hahahah wdym"

ends up staying the night at your place

cuddling with you the entire night

he would sort of flinch in his sleep

or his body would jump suddenly

nightmare??

u would kiss his forehead and wake him up

"are you ok?"

he would stare at you

and

HE WOULD PERFORM THE "I DREAMED OF A GHOST" AEGYO

"pls go back to sleep and never wake up"

[cookinguptales]

update: lmao I am so fucking doped up right now. sorry to the world that I got behind on shimamatsu translations, but have you ever tried to translate while on muscle relaxants? it’s a bad scene. god, I’m in a lot of pain rn.

gonna talk about some of the movies from the film festival below the cut. doped up af but I’ve seen like 14 movies so far, hella. tomorrow I probably have to skip bc I just took two cyclos and that is gonna fuck me the hell up.

movies I’d recommend:

thelma a norwegian film which is basically a coming-of-age story for a fundie christian girl who goes to college and realizes she’s a lesbian. oh, and that she has insane supernatural powers. (it’s kind of carrie-ish but with canon f/f, but imo a lot better than carrie.) the love story is really interesting, if incredibly dark. like if you’re in the mood for dark, kind of mindfuck-y f/f, this is your film. despite the very long upcoming list of potential triggers, it’s not as scary or brutal as it sounds. lmao. highly recommended, probably the film I’ve enjoyed most so far. (tw: violence, nudity, drug use, death, [spoilers] child abuse, possible mind control, child death)

custody a french film based on a short film that I saw a few years ago, and it’s fantastic and gut-wrenching. the short film was about a woman running away from her abusive husband with her children; this feature-length film is about what happens when a stupid judge ignores what both the wife and children have to say and gives him joint custody. (spoilers: it doesn’t end well.) interestingly, it has all the same cast as the original short film, though the kids are markedly older. idk if it’s meant to be a straight sequel or if one just inspired the other. really well done, tho, I was fuckin white-knuckling it in the theater. people were like. yelling. the climax of that film is INTENSE. probably the best quality film we’ve seen so far, though I think the plot could’ve been tightened up a little. (tw: very explicit depictions of physical and emotional abuse, very terrifying moments. [spoilers] but no child death.)

I, Tonya tonya harding biopic. I’m not really a big one for biopics, but this was a good one. it tried to explain how harding’s life led her to where she got, but didn’t necessarily paint her as some innocent victim. it was sympathetic where it needed to be, empathetic where it needed to be, but rarely let her get away with bullshit. lot of good performances here, but Margot Robbie (even though she looked way too old for the part) did a great job. (tw: explicit child/spousal abuse)

the villainess Korean lady-gets-revenge-on-shitty-men bloody action flick. not really my genre, admittedly, but I feel like anyone who likes this kind of movie would really enjoy this one. very Kill Bill-esque. it’s the story of this girl who basically gets passed around between illicit assassination organizations, in-fighting, revenge on all those who wronged her, etc. it is Very Bloody and many people die. the action scenes are HQ if you are into that kind of thing. I was mostly invested in the huge amounts of f/f potential. like at one point she joins an assassin organization where all the operatives are female and that whole part of the movie!! was very gay!! the actual canon relationships are het, but there is a strong potential for dark f/f murderwives here. (tw: haha oh boy if it’s a problem it’s probably here. implied CSA, child abuse, creepy relationships, violence, gore, nudity, child death, everyone else death, non-con facial surgery...like it’s bloody af okay...)

love means zero this is a documentary about nick bollettieri, who’s this super famous tennis coach. (apparently.) I knew next to nothing about the world of professional tennis going into this documentary, but I still enjoyed it bc wtf this guy is a piece of work. it’s basically all about how he fucked over a ton of people (especially kids) when he was trying to make tennis champions. and how he succeeded! by fucking over a ton of people! the interviews with him are honestly kind of wild bc he’s just such a crazy narcissist. this was especially weird for me to watch bc I grew up in the sarasota/bradenton area and never even knew all this shit was going on there. it was weird seeing my hometown on the screen like that, but also interesting. (tw: child abuse, just generally being a fuckboi)

MOVIES THAT WERE OKAY but like I had Issues

brimstone and glory I feel like I really recommend going out to see this one if you can see it on the big screen. it’s a documentary about a fireworks festival in Mexico and honestly the cinematography is stunning. it’s just so, so, so cool. but the actual documentary part is kind of boring sometimes, and you gotta have a strong stomach bc it also shows some of the injuries people get at this insane festival. like I don’t think showing that is a bad thing; I think it’s the only responsible way to make a documentary about this festival. like it’s amazing, it’s so cool, but also these people are like. going blind, losing hands, dying. and taking their kids!! like if you cannot handle watching kids in dangerous situations, don’t go!! dad was freaking out, lmao. (tw: graphic depiction of real-life injuries)

radiance a Japanese film about a woman who writes audio description for blind movie-goers. the same director made An (Sweet Bean Paste) a couple years ago, which was notable for its depiction of what Japan does to its citizens who have Hansen’s Disease. (leprosy.) it was weird to me when that movie came out that none of the reviewers really talked about that aspect of the movie; they were all like “UGH IT WAS SO POINTLESS AND CLOYING” and I’m like “did you miss the point of the movie?? which was critiquing the social ostracization of these people in Japanese society??? did that completely go over your heads????” anyway, I appreciated the depiction of PWD in Japan bc having lived there while disabled, I know that shit isn’t easy. that’s why I went to go see radiance. it was...okay? I think the most interesting part was when they let the blind characters talk. the movie was otherwise pretty pretentious and self-indulgent. lmao. like... it’s a rent, don’t buy situation.

marlina the murderer in four acts this movie was not bad! it’s an indonesian film about a woman whose home is invaded and she kills all the invaders. it’s definitely a film that critiques misogyny in indonesian culture, but I feel like it undercut its own message by showing such incredibly graphic rapes. like honestly, I don’t really ever recommend movies that have very graphic rape scenes, but I guess she does end up killing her rapists during the rape scenes. I just. I feel like it could have been done in a way that won’t get people all sexually excited while watching a violent rape. : / y’know? other than that, though, I really liked the female characters in the movie and sympathized with marlina’s journey trying to get society to help her and realizing she had to just go it alone with her female friends. bc like. she’s attacked by men, but she’s also revictimized by shitty ordinary men all the time she’s trying to get to town, report the attack, etc. and so are the other female cahracters. so they just. have to be vigilantes. (tw: GRAPHIC rape, violence, mild gore, spousal abuse)

newton Indian film about a guy going out to the jungle to get votes in the main election. but like. none of the people out there even know who the candidates are, there’s a lot of anti-government violene, the villagers are caught between anarchists and the police, it’s just a mess. and I do think the movie was good at showing the futility of it all and showing how the people who really end up getting fucked over are the poor people in rural areas, but at the same time like. pacing was uneven, tone was ???, and I found the protagonist irritating. and there was what appeared to be some pasted on het which made no sense. (like honestly I cannot figure out why she ever wanted to talk to his dumb ass again.)

blade of the immortal it’s takashi miike making blade of the immortal. I mean. I feel like if you are familiar with those names, you already know if you want to see it or not. if you aren’t, idk how much you’d like it anyway. after already having watched miike’s ace attorney adaptation, I sense a pattern. the guy just looks at a HUGE corpus (like a VG with 5 cases, or a manga with 40 volumes) and is like “welll....then I guess we better make things fast.” so you have Big Bads being introduced in the same breath that they get killed, 30-second backstories, just a frenetic pace and a huge amount of information, and it’s confusing and overwhelming if you don’t already know it. and honestly, I haven’t read BotI so I can’t say how faithful this was. but if you already love the characters and just want miike’s trademark bloody action flick style, then I mean. fair enough. this here’s a bloodbath. I had a hard time getting emotionally invested as a fresh viewer, tho. highlight of the evening: an old man walking out grumbling about how he only likes classy martial arts movies, and apparently this did not qualify. having seen a lot of classics of the martial arts genre, still unsure what a “classy” martial arts film looks like. (tw: offscreen rape, death, blood, gore, just an unreasonable amount of killing honestly like it was funny by the end, attempted CSA)

gemini this is a “neo-noir” thriller. so essentially a murder mystery. unfortunately, the title of the movie basically gives away the entire story lmao. so while the build-up wasn’t bad, the entire last 15-20 minutes of the movie are a total letdown. it was nice to see canon f/f, I guess, but I feel like the movie never went in hard enough on that. like were they trying to make a point about how hard it is for celebrities to have same-sex relationships? I’m not sure!! I can think of a lot of things that would make this plot more interesting, but they just didn’t do them. acting was fine, I guess. John Cho was in it, even if his character was pointless. Zoe Kravitz is always fun. (tw: I mean it’s a murder mystery. so...murder.)

DID NOT ENJOY

scaffolding (israeli film, boring af)

the workshop (french film, kind of boring, makes questionable points about neo-nazis)

[dumbdumbdiba]

a few points on this odd and distasteful discourse from a film majors standpoint.

its ok to ask for reviews and other thoughts on a non-review platform. peer review isnt simply meant to be kept in percise corners and unmoved from there. tumblr actually is a pretty good site for tht sort of discussion on whether a piece of media is good or bad, because there is space to do so and its very easy to check your source. for example, if i ask someone i follow via anon what did they think of she-ra there is the unspoken and why that goes w my question. also im probably asking not because i hold their opinion in some high regard but because i see what they reblog so i know if their taste in media is similar to mine. doesnt matter what age they are if the taste is similar then it makes sense to ask before investing my time into something.

another example, if i make a text post should i watch parasite and tag it so it pops up and some of the fans see it. then i probably want them to make an argument /for/ it unless there is something super problematic in there tht everybody is talking about. once that post is made and anyone can interact its pretty easy to do two things; conclude if i should consume this piece of media based on just the result 11-4 or wtv it is or look to the more detailed responses and then compare what the responders are into with what i am into. atp i can take anything i want into account i can say no im not gonna watch parasite because a 14 year old and furry like it or i can say even though a furry and someone much younger than me liked it they also like some things tht i like so i will watch it.

but u started this around happiest season and i think tht right there was the miscalculation. if i asked ppl i see on my day to day what they thought of this movie theyd look at me w 2 heads bc theyre str8 and this is not a str8 movie. (also asking about queer media is an easy way to get outed) and the person asking knows tht everyone on tumblr will hype the fuck out of two white lesbians before even thinking about, was this movie good. so they asked... to get more details than 'it was so cute 🥰' and personal than a typical reviews 'it was a warming tale of two women' i think finding a medium is reasonable.

also, id like to denote in ur og post u didnt say strangers or unreputable ppl u just said ppl which connotates tht u think everyone here is too braindead to help u form an opinion but if they left a review on rotten tomatoes u would listen??? like that logic is flawed i hope u see that atleast.

im not anon to stir up some shit but bc im a mutual.

y’all are like “is happiest season worth watching?” and i gotta wonder if you’re capable of forming your own opinions about things without being influenced by people on fucking tumbler dot com 🙃

[archivistsrock]

"...Bomer, who was decorative in the Magic Mike movies but dug deep as the closeted New York Times reporter in Ryan Murphy's The Normal Heart, gives a performance of real warmth and delicacy. Rather than play Freda as a force of nature or a collection of mannerisms — the typical default modes of actors playing trans women — Bomer renders her fully dimensional: an unpredictable tangle of impulses, by turns defensive and tender. Kylene Steele, a transgender woman, was personal consultant to Bomer.

[This ask is an excerpt from a THR review of Anything - read here]tl;dr – I’m glad this reviewer liked it; that’s still not the main problem; yes, of course I still think Matt is a GREAT human being even though I think that he made a mistake by accepting this role. 

[read more to…read more. Note that I’m a cis female. I always worry that I’m saying something “wrong” or speaking for/over trans people, etc. That’s not my intention at all, but people keep asking for my opinion, so here it is (like does my opinion even matter? Really? No.). Sigh. I’m super worried I’ll say something ignorant, and if I do, please correct me.Also note that I wrote this very stream-of-consciousness, so it might be a big ol’ mess. I didn’t address everything. I’m sure I ramble. Just try to bear with me (if you want).]

And Anon, I’m assuming a few things here because you just cut and pasted part of a review with no commentary of your own. Are you just  seeing if I’ve read it? (I have, but thanks) Are you just happy that the first review we’ve seen is a good one? (I’m pleased, too) Or are you posting this to me as a defense regarding Matt accepting the role, bc you know I’m critical of his decision to play a trans woman? I’m going to  assume it’s option #3, bc tbh it just reads as passive aggressive to me. If I’m wrong and it’s one of the other options, I’m sorry for assuming incorrectly. But I know that there are Matt fans out there with the mentality of, “I hope the movie gets GREAT reviews so everyone who  criticized him will eat their words!” (etc.)I’m sorry, but people who think that just are NOT grasping the main problem people have with casting Matt (cis male) as a trans woman. The main argument wasn’t that Matt would do a shitty job acting because he’s a man. Or that he would be incapable of realistically playing a trans woman without reverting to stereotypes. The main issue is that yet again having a man portray a trans woman sends a message that trans women are really men. Or that they were men “before they became women.” In reality, they are women. They have always been women. They may have “looked like a man” or lived “as a man” for part of their life (because society ugh), but THEY WERE ALWAYS WOMEN. The trouble is that much of society doesn’t grasp or understand this. They still see trans women as men who “decided” to “become” women. This then leads to a lot of violence towards trans people, especially trans women. The stats showing the amount of violence against trans people is staggering. Same goes for trans suicides, including kids. It’s horrible.So I am happy that so far the movie is getting good reviews, including Matt’s performance. Since the movie IS made and IS out there, OF COURSE I’d want it to be good and respectful. I hope it DOES have a positive impact on people who view it. I hope it DOES help bring greater empathy and understanding towards trans people. That would be great. But these goals can still be accomplished if the trans woman character was actually played by a trans woman (or even a cis woman, but this also would have some criticism – albeit less, imo). Any publicity and press done for the film would show the character (Freda) as a WOMAN. More emphasis on the fact that trans women are WOMEN. When (if?) Matt does press for this role, people are going to see a MAN. So people may question, “Why did a man need  to play that role? Are trans women really men first? So are they ACTUALLY men?”Continuing to excuse problematic casting because the movie and portrayal is good is a definite hindrance to progress. “Yes, I can see how this is an issue BUT…” “I agree that trans people should be cast in more roles  BUT…” BUT BUT BUT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. “Trust us,” say the cis people of the world to trans people. “This isn’t a problem for you. This is actually helping! Things will get better! Just keep waiting!” Can’t you see how this would get tiring really fast for trans people? Especially when they view this as actually endangering trans people’s lives? Yes, I KNOW many of you think this is an unfair stretch, but some people TRULY believe this – knowing this, can you blame them for getting so upset? Really, truly, try to think about this from a trans person’s point of view. I know it’s easy to get defensive, and you still don’t have to agree, but can’t you at least see where they’re coming from? “Everyone should be able to play any role!” – Well okay, but in reality everyone ISN’T getting the same opportunity to play any role. (also, this argument is bullshit on other levels, but I’m not going to get more into that here)With regards to Matt getting more criticism than Jeffrey Tambor, Jared Leto, Eddie Redmayne, etc…Yes, he is (altho the other actors were also critized – this is NOT a completely new issue that only sprang up with Matt and Anything). But that’s how progress works. First no one sees something as an issue (it doesn’t mean it’s NOT an issue, it’s just that most people don’t acknowledge it as one). Then people start to speak up about the issue. Then (hopefully) steps of progress are made.First there are no movies representing trans people. Then there are movies representing trans people, but the roles are played by cis actors. This is progress! We’re bringing attention to trans lives! But then people think, hmm, shouldn’t we stop implying that trans women are really men? Or that trans men are really women? We need to cast trans women in trans women roles/trans men in trans men roles. PROGRESS! And then, hey! Trans women should be able to play cis women and cis women should be able to play trans women! (same with trans and cis men) Progress! (And no…I don’t think the next progressive leap goes back to letting cis men play trans women.)I think Matt is getting more criticism bc we’re entering/at the stage of progress where it’s just becoming more unacceptable for trans women to be portrayed by men. As time goes on, this will become more and more unacceptable (imo). Matt is the latest example, so he’s getting the most criticism. Because progess. In 10 years, maybe no one who claims to be even mildly socially progressive will find it acceptable for cis men to play trans women. If this movie came up 10 years from now, maybe Matt would NEVER accept (or even be offered) the role. As a Matt fan, it sucks to see him criticized. I get it. As someone who’s an advocate for social  progress, it’s nice to see this type of casting get so much criticism. It’s hard to take off your “Matt fan” hat, but sometimes it’s important to do so. We’re all learning; we’re all growing (I can hope). This includes me. This includes Matt. This should include everyone. THAT SAID: Even though I don’t think Matt should have accepted this role, I still think he is a stellar human being. I’m SURE he went into this project with the absolute best intentions. I’m sure he did his best to prepare for this role and to portray Freda with as much authenticity as possible. I’m sure he consulted with trans women in preparation for this role. As the review linked above states, one of the producers of the film is a trans woman and she served as his personal consultant throughout filming. So that’s all great, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he’s another cis male playing a trans woman. Matt has been a great advocate (imo) for the lgbtq community. I 100% don’t think that this decision alone should define him. But I still think it’s a mistake. YOU’RE CAPABLE OF LOVING AND ADMIRING SOMEONE EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY MADE A MISTAKE. No one is perfect, even your celeb idol. And someone making one bad decision doesn’t make them a 100% trash human being. [And OF COURSE I think people telling Matt that he should die, etc.  is TERRIBLE]. I should also say that there are trans people who DON’T have a problem with Matt playing a trans woman. I’m not saying there is an absolute right and wrong on this. I’m definitely not the ultimate moral authority. This is just my personal opinion, formed by listening to various arguments and perspectives. Currently, this is where I fall. This is how I feel about it. I’m open to hearing counter-arguments, especially when they actually try to counter the specific problems I mentioned above (but please try to be polite, I beg of you).  I look forward to hearing what Matt has to say (assuming he ever says  anything about it). My opinion can certainly continue to change and evolve.

[thelustinlimbo]

Okayyy so this is my review of my favorite morphe brushes I just got and tried! Tbh I really wasn’t sure what to expect with morphe, I looked through countless reviews and videos, looked up pictures and negative rants. So I was kinda expecting the worst but hoping for the best? I picked out a bunch of brushes that were reviewed countless times through youtubers, and then some that just caught my eye and felt like I needed to try them out. I was super worried that the negative reviews were right and I just wasted a bunch of money on a bunch of garbage, I’m always skeptical with “YouTube” brands because of past bad experiences. So for a while I just put myself in the mindset of “if I don’t see and try it in a store or in person I don’t want to waste money on it”. I’ve kinda been bored with makeup and not into for the past year or so, like it became not fun for me and I just stopped buying and trying new products as much as I had before bc what was the point? I just restocked what I needed, mainly bought skin care, and sometimes tried new things but they didn’t excite me. I missed the joy makeup gave me before so I felt like I needed to “redo” my collection to hopefully fall back in love with my favorite hobby, the brushes I had were all old and idk I just felt like my makeup was blah bc of it, so I finally decided to give morphe a try since they have a huge selection of inexpensive raved about brushes!! I’m honestly SO surprised with the quality!!! I thought out of the almost 60 brushes that I purchased I would really like and use maybe 10 tops, I thought I would be disappointed in a bunch of them and just use the ones I really like, but oh my god!! I swear I haven’t been this excited about a purchase in soooo long! Every brush I bought had a purpose I can think of and use for, even the ones that I initially was like eh or what the hell can I use this for?? Ended up my favorites!! (Mainly eye and brow brushes which I will show in the review) the brushes are all super soft and just great quality over all, idk if they just improved over the years or people were just being negative but I don’t know why anyone would trash talk these inexpensive high quality brushes.. Anywayssss.. So here is a round up of my favorites so far!!

E43 - is just basically a smaller E3 but today I used it for my cleaning up my under eye setting powder and then I grabbed it again to apply my highlighter very soft, and just feels like a high end brush.

E3 - I used it for a slight contour, I don’t like harsh contours on cheeks but this picked up the product just enough and the shape of it reallyyyyy just added the right amount of product in the right places!

E4 - a simple blush brush, but it’s so soft and picked up a small amount of product and applied the blush flawlessly to my face so it got a rank in fave face brushes so far!

E8 - I looooove small chubby round brushes, they are perfect for creating an “airbrush effect” in larger pore areas, I don’t really have large pores but when I use brushes like this to blend out foundation and powder around my nose/cheek area it creates just a smooth flawless finish and I have been needing a replacement for a Sephora brush I had for years that started losing its density and amazingness. This is a great cheaper alternative that is just as good!!

E41 - I have never applied my bronzer to my face so perfectly and quickly as I did with this brush, it picked up just the right amount of bronzer without creating the orange face look, applied it without scratching my face or leaving behind a bunch of fall out like a sorta similar sigma brush I have does!! Looove it!!!

M439 - I feel like every youtuber/reviewer/Mua and their mother has this brush and raved about it so I had to pick it up and try it out for myself. It really does live up to its expectations!! It gives a super full coverage even with a medium/light coverage foundation, I don’t always like to have fullllll coverage but when I do this brush will do the job! It does kinda suck up a lot of product, but not as bad as some other similar brushes I have. It’s super soft and you will have a even full coverage on in like 10 seconds with this brush.

M528 - I think I applied my Laura mercier secret brightening powder with this one, I can’t remember what I did with this brush but I threw it into my love pile and it doesn’t have any colored product on it so I think I just applied the powder with it. It’s super soft and can my used as a highlighter, or setting brush! E - 18 if you have smaller almond shaped eyes like me YOU NEED THIS BRUSH and also the M501, and E36 but I’ll get into those in a bit, the E18 is absolutely perfect for applying a crease color into small spaces, it picks up as little or as much product as you need and is just a must have brush.

M250-0 - OHHHH myyyyy godddd!!! The eyeliner brush I have been searching for but never found, I always came close but it was either to thick, had stray little hairs, was too long, or too stiff, something was always slightly justttt off with other liner brushes. They were good, they did the job, but they didn’t make it as easy as this one did!!! I haven’t had this even winged liner in like two years I swear lmao. I always have one eye perfect and the other one is it’s less perfect twin, or they both just looked like shit and I eventually came to except the fact that a super amazing winged eyeliner was just not gonna be in my life, untillllll this beauty came in the mail today😭 it’s. Just. Perfect. I completed a winged simple cat eye that was as even as humanly possible for me in the shortest amount of time it ever took me to do it, idk if I was just running on adrenaline from finding a perfect liner brush or bc my eyeliner looked amaze on the one eye I did first lol.

M213 - You also need this in your life, trust me. If you are sloppy in your eye makeup technique or just want something to really tightly apply shadow to your lower lash line effortlessly, then you need this brush. Don’t even doubt it just buy it. Also for some reason it looks really big in the picture above but it’s a super tiny little smudger with soft bristles but it isn’t flimsy. Just try it, you will see.

M575 - when I first saw this brush I felt indifferent about it, it kinda looked too long to be a good blending brush, I usually liked “fluffier” blending brushes and this one looked to long and slender, but wow.. for my eye shape it was the perfect “precision” blender! You know how with fluffy blending brushes shadow tends to kinda go all over your eye? And if you have smaller eyes like me it starts looking sloppy really quick, but this really helped blend and diffuse color ONLY where I wanted it! Surprisingly amazing!

M501 - okay… This brush is the brush out of alllll the brushes I kinda took one look at and was like?? “What the hell am I going to use this for?? Maybe highlight?? Idk?” It’s really oddly shaped, tapered, slim, slender, weird… Looks like a useless little highlight brush if your really particular about where you want to place high light or if you’re gonna be doing an infants highlight lol. For some reason I grabbed this weird little brush and started using it as an eye blender and was SHOCKED it’s like this brush was made for my eyes, it diffused my crease color so perfectly, the tapered part went into my crease and just idk, it was magical. I blended carelessly throughout my eye and it just created the perfect eye look!! The problem I always have with blending my shadow is that I get a dark color too far into my inner eye, creating like a Natalie Portman from the swan lake ballerina movie effect if that makes sense, I hate the way that looks on me and this brush just effortlessly blended without dragging color into my inner eye corner. I feel like I have a difficult eye shape and I hate doing shadow bc of it. But not anymore 😍 M432 - this is a basic flat square brush, it's great for the waterline but I used it to shape up my brows and it did a great job! It's the perfect density and size to sculpt brows without adding a crazy amount of product to the area, it's a must have in a makeup collection especially if brows are your least favorite makeup application like mine, my brows annoy me and a good brow day for me is rare because I have a giant scar through one which always makes the shape of it different then the other one. But today I'm having an amazing brow day and it took me half the time it normally would to do my brows with my new brushes :D M224 - another staple!! I had a Mac one that I used for years but it was starting to look raggedy, I use these brushes on days I have a blemish I need to cover and apply a bit more product, to sometimes apply foundation to my face before going in with a beauty blender, to shape brows, to apply a concealer from a pot to my under eye. I use these types of brushes as like product picker uppers and packers, it's like a forgotten brush that is very useful but not as talked about by me because it's boring but very much needed in a makeup lovers collection! This one has synthetic bristles and is overall really well made, I was expecting this one to be a super cheapie garbage brush, but it's up to par with my Mac one when it was in its prime days lol. M160-1/16 - another brush I saw and was like this kinda looks terrible.. The bristles seemed to long and soft to use for brows, but I tried it today and it's wonderful for creating a softer brow look!!! Like wow, it picks up a little bit of product so if you're heavy handed with brows like me it's a MUSTTTTT it applied my favorite brow powder to my brows and I swear it made my powder work and look better then ever, I used it in the front part of my brows and it's just gonna be an everyday staple for brows. M413 - I feel like I judged all the brow brushes to harshly when I first opened my package, I thought these were gonna be the crappy brushes of my entire order which was fine with me because they were the cheapest so not too much lost I thought. This brushes bristles are FIRM like super firm.. And kinda long. Immediately I thought that it was gonna scratch my skin and pick up way too much product.. I tried it gently, and applied my powder to my scar and wow this brush is def a favorite, I just have to be light handed when applying! But it picked up product and applied it right where you put it, I then brushed and diffused the color with the spoolie. My brows look so refined but natural in combination with the M160-1/16 brush, I used the M413 towards the ends and middle. I think this brush is also great for people who like bolder brows bc of how easy it is to shape and apply product with it. Andddd lastly, for not at least! G20 - this brush is great for packing on shadow! It works great for my eye shape. I mean there's not much to really say about it other then it does its job! I also like the gunmetal color, I got a few brushes from gunmetal collection but haven't tried them out yet. The bristles are soft, the shape is perfect, the size is great. It can also be used as a concealer brush for blemishes. Overall I'm super happy with my order and I think it's money well spent!! Sorry about the longgg post but I tried to sum up my favorites so far as best as I can. I haven't washed these brushes yet so I don't know how they shed or how they are after washing but I'll keep all you updated!:)

[layesica]

Goodbye 2018: A Year in Review with Some Stuff Left Out

Guys… this year, I saw Dear Evan Hansen. Well… I guess we’re done here!

Yeah. You’re not getting off that easy. I would very much like to have a rant here, but I’m resisting the temptation. What’s done is done, so no point in wasting time thinking about it. 

Have I ever done this as bullet points? Do I always do it as bullet points, but don’t remember that because I’m tired? Well, here are the bullet points of a year gone by…

JANUARY

• Started the year with Pack people. No kiss at midnight. This was a continuing trend…

• My schedule was all over the place. Tech and Front of House all willy-nilly.

• Started Grad Revue at Second City. I worked with a whole new group of people because that’s how it worked for me. Worked in the office to pay for it.

• Started my second Whole Life Challenge.

• Auditioned for the Universal Studios Tour Guide Program. Got the callback, but failed the improv. This was a continuing trend…

• For fun? Oh! I went roller skating for Sandy’s birthday. I friggin’ love roller skating, y’all!

• Rediscovered the Los Feliz 3. Saw Lady Bird and I, Tonya.

FEBRUARY

• Things got a little more ordered. Grad Revue, Second City office, Very Famous… all my nights were allocated!

• I started working exclusively tech at The Pack and exclusively Fridays. Hunter asked me to host Go Sketch Yourself, so Katie D. and I did it from the booth. My very niche bad tech sketch went over so well with this crowd!

• Went to the Opera for the first time to see Candide. It had Kelsey Grammar in it? Still enjoyable.

• Met some friends at Gracias Madre. I’d been wanting to try it since I moved here. Finally! Expensive and scene-y, but good!

• At the end of the month, I went part-time at the hotel because… well, there were no benefits to being there full-time, and I have shit to do, y’all!

• Got a Conan taping in there.

• Ordered some Samoas from a neighborhood Girl Scout. Someone tried to sabotage me, but I got those cookies and put them in my face! Finally!

• This year had two themes: 1) Forgiveness and, conversely, 2) You are dead to me now. Forgiveness started at the end of this month. It was an awkward first step, but sometimes it’s good to take a first step. I guess it’s just looking at the big picture of whether, as a whole, someone is a positive in your life or a negative.

• I did something terrible. I killed Gary. He was a delightful little aloe (according to Reddit, an aloe aristata). He was in a sugar skull planter from Trader Joe’s. I couldn’t tell that I was overwatering him. I overwatered him to death. I am a terrible plant parent. I still feel awful.

• Another loss. My trusty Herschel backpack finally gave out. So, I got a new one. Not a Herschel. A cheaper one.

MARCH

• Mom and Dad came to visit. They got a nice AirBNB right down the street from me... but the plumbing was shot. So we got to spend a week at The Hollywood Hampty! (Thanks, George!) We went to a Conan taping. We went to Madame Tussaud’s… um… yeah. Did the double decker tour bus that I get for free because I sell them at work. We dropped by Eataly. I need to go back there. We got free breakfast every day!

• I went to a party! I don’t normally do that.

• I got to be in Book Report at The Pack. Buzz Aldrin was seated in the front row I had to do a quick change into an elaborate costume and ran out with my dress tucked into my tights.

• I learned that when you do someone a huge favor, they don’t always reciprocate in kind, so you should bear that in mind when you choose to share.

APRIL

• Took a day trip to Venice and Santa Monica. Walked around the canals. That was neat.

• I doggie-sat for George and Ian with Parker -- a very, very good dog. Their apartment is so serene PLUS they left me gin and tonic and an adorable call sheet with Parker’s day outlined. Nice!

• I interviewed for the page program at Paramount thanks to Sandy’s recommendation. Didn’t get it. Maybe they felt like I was too old. I don’t know. They seemed impressed with my resume, but I still haven’t been called in for an interview for a regular job. This is a continuing trend… At least I got to have some Texas-style margaritas in the build up.

• Started Sketch 3 at The Pack. Old version. Just talking about the history of comedy and other comedy nerd / writer pursuits with Mike Upchurch . This may have been my favorite comedy class ever. Got some insider Mr. Show information. It’s the fandom that keeps giving!

• Saw Scott Thompson’s Buddy Cole Monologues at UCB. Accidentally made eye contact with Bruce McCulloch. It was a very exciting night for me.

• During Very Famous’s April Show, I gave this gift to my family back in Texas.

MAY

• Gallegos visited and did Go Sketch Yourself.

• He and Eloy came to opening night of my Grad Revue — Clickbait & Switch. Oh yeah! My Grad Revue at Second City opened.

• FYC Season, y’all! Netflix had some good stuff! I got to take a picture of Emily with Marty Short which enjoying the open bar and passed tray foods.

• Lindsey came to visit. Lots of Marvel. I probably will not be seeing any more Marvel, though. Unless they hire me for that job I applied for. Then, I would love Marvel! We went to Universal and my favorite Harry Potter ride broke down. Then, we rode it again immediately. And then I had motion sickness that lasted 7 days

• Brent Forrester started a series of Comedy Knowledge Drops at Dynasty Typewriter. They were so good! He is great!

• Put up a sketch at The Pack’s Ladies of Sketch Night with a dream team of actors. Also, go to dance again, but, sadly, I always end up in the back. Too many ladies!

• My calendar simply says “BOB!” I imagine I saw Bob at something… Oh, Dynasty Typewriter! It was fundraiser for one of their employees to renew her visa or something. Took photos of Emily and a very nice BrBa/BCS fan with Bob before we walked through Murder Park to get to the train.

• An actor that I very much had a crush on stayed at our hotel. He’s been on a downhill slide for a while and was obviously pretty high. He was also a jerk to the person who check him in. But he was nice to me… and when he smiled at me while thanking me for calling a cab, I kind of died a little on the inside. I wish I had the video from our security cam, but I’ll just have to remember it in my mind. When I got home from work and turned on the TV, there he was in a terrible movie.

• Went on an easy hike to a waterfall in Altadena.

JUNE

• Went to ATX fest again! Mom & Dad came and stayed a night at the hotel with me. Lindsey and Andrea met up the second day. It wasn’t as fun because I live in this place where I’m constantly surrounded by TV stuff. They did a Better Call Saul thing, so I got to go to that. I had some TexMex. It was A LOT.

• Flew back from Texas earlier than I had planned because our Grad Revue closed that Sunday. We did our final show, then received our diplomas and t-shirts. I am now a Second City Graduate. But not “Alumni.” That’s different… and also not possible in Hollywood. I also resigned from my work-study job with enough hours to take 3 more classes. It was sad, but I needed that time back to make money.

• Took in some Fringe shows. I’m so supportive! But also, the lack of reciprocal support is not exclusive to comedy people. That’s a thing I learned.

• I auditioned for Sketch at Second City. Didn’t get it. This is a continuing trend…

• Went on a little weekend trip to Long Beach. Checked out the aquarium. Did a whale tour. Saw an actual whale tail. Had some decent barbecue. Got a sunburn. I recommend the Hotel Maya near the Queen Mary. All the cookies you can eat! And they have fire pits!

JULY

• This was a light month, but that was fine because…

• I went to Comic Con in San Diego! We got volunteer badges. I ended up catching a ride with my friend, Osiokeh, so I got to spend one night at the hotel connected to the Convention Center. So nice! Well, I spent part of the night because there was a Better Call Saul Panel in Hall H, so I had to camp out waiting for my wristband. Of course, they had issues and that took forever. Then, I slept for 4 hours then went to get back in line. I sat through so much stuff AND that place pretty much emptied out for some boring panels. Not enough for me to upgrade my seating, but I could have just not done that at all.I did not budget enough time to get to my volunteer shift, so I had to scoot as soon as that was over. My volunteer job SUCKED! Gordon was nice enough to come look for me, but they didn’t allow us to have phones, so I missed him. So sad. What a sweetheart, though. :(

• Volunteering at Comic-con… Oof! I just kept getting the wrong shifts. They were torturous! The last day was a complete mess, and I was one of the last volunteers standing… because of course I was. At the end of all this, I was like, “NEVER AGAIN!” I did enjoy finding a hotel to work at and just people watching. I guess the first year is when you learn. I totally missed the badge sale for 2019!

• I finally started Improv 2 at The Pack. Neal Dandade was great! All new people again!

AUGUST

• Did a better convention… CAT CON! Now, this is where I belong. I won a Litter Genie and the cat-weed company gave Penelope a CatIt Flower Fountain. She is obsessed! So, I guess it may have been better than weed. We may never know. I met Cindy from @foster_kittens. She was very nice… but the main event was meeting Felix. He was so soft, but so over being petted by strangers! I signed up to be a foster, but with a chupacabra in our apartment, I decided against it. That’ll change.

• Season 3 of Better Call Saul started. Then I started a class, so I had to miss watching it live. Emily and I watched the first one with… some refreshments. It was so good! I am turning on Jimmy as he turns into Saul though. Like, I super hated him right at the end there. We’ll wait for Gene to roll around. Oh Gene. My heart.

• Went to San Diego for a weekend. Nice to check it out as a tourist. Walked across a swinging bridge. Spent hours at the USS Midway. Went on a paddle boat ride. Checked out a Padres game at Petco Park. Almost died on a Bird scooter.

• Finally started that Late Night Writing class. It finally worked out. I love it. I wrote jokes and people liked them. I guess I can write them after all.

• Took a one-day class on sketch writing from improv with Kevin McDonald from Canada’s Kids in the Hall. It was fun. Lots of nerds. We wrote 2 sketches.

• Went to see David Cross with Emily. Took myself to Umami before hand. We got some Bonus Bob!

• Other shows: So You Do Comedy…? at UCB. Chris had John and Jessie Ennis. That was fun. Kevin McDonald did a variety show at the Lyric Hyperion Theater. First time there. Cute place! We sat so close. Tim Heidecker dropped a guitar stand on me.

SEPTEMBER

• Improv 3 at The Pack Started. Shaun Landry showed us how to be actors. We did prepared monologues for a class that John Conroy subbed. Shaun said he told her he wanted to tape one of them because it was so good. She said Justin. There was no Justin. No one even close except Jessica. So, I’m just gonna assume he meant me. Because I need it for this next thing…

• Submitted a reel to be a performer on my or a TPT Sketch Team. Didn’t get a callback. I’m starting to think maybe I am not a good performer. But giving up isn’t a thing I do, so I’ll keep trucking along. At least I get to feel like I’m SNL-era Bob Odenkirk. And from what I heard from a person who worked with him around this time, we have/had about the same pitching style for this level in our careers. That makes me feel better. But, like, he was at SNL and I’m at a little theater in Hollywood… and also he’s a genius… so maybe not that much the same.

• The good news is that I get to continue as a writer on Very Famous.

• I also got to play a terrible British stereotype in a sketch with friends at Go Sketch Yourself and UCB’s Everybody Get In Here. Multiple people told me how funny they thought I was in it. I accidentally dressed like Oliver Hardy, but thinner and with boobs.

• Dana Gould did Chopping Block at The Pack. That was amazing! They needed extras and, oh, how I wanted to be in something one of my heroes wrote… but also I wanted to watch it. So I chose the latter. I’m good with that.

• At work, a guy from Fox News yelled at me over the phone because of something dumb. I don’t even remember. Cool guy.

• Briefly joined an improv practice group. Quickly realized that I am too poor for that.

• Started another Whole Life Challenge. It had been a while.

• Went to another Conan taping. It turned out to be the last. September 18. 25 years and 5 days after I first watched Conan on late night television. A few weeks after this, the hour-long show would cease to be. A total surprise to me. A half-hour replacement coming in January.

OCTOBER

• Oh yeah! Back in September, Andrew asked if I would like to be in The Ointment at The Pack. Um… OF COURSE! So I got to play a character who murdered her husband… 10 years after she wrote a blog post about how she would do it. I also played an Octopus tentacle. It was so fun!

• Ian asked me to be in some short, blackout videos he was making to remind people to vote. That was fun, too!

• Briana asked me to be in her sketch for Tales from the Laugh Dimension at The Pack. Duh! Of course! I also did a couple of things with her for open mic sketch shows. It was a lot of fun.

• The best thing about all these parts I got was that right around this time, someone who was grasping at straws to make me a bad person declared that I was “angry about all the sketches I didn’t get cast in.” LOL Yeah, about that. So, I guess things do happen for a reason.

• After a couple months of looking for a full-time position, so I could get out of my living situation because of it being a danger to Penelope, I kicked that into overdrive. I wish I could have kept my old place, as I was the only one who really loved it, but also, all the sage in the world wouldn’t be able to vanquish the bad joo-joo. This turned out for the better in the long run.

• But more good things happen! Hunter suggested that I help produce a show at The Pack for Halloween as part of WPCK. We did an exquisite corpse with all-female writers and an all-female cast (but a male director because… I guess… let’s not go overboard?) based on the Bill Joel video for Allentown, the play No Time for Sargents (watch the TV version of this, please) and Ragnar Benson’s series of survival books. I got a pretty big part and memorized the shit out of my lines… only to have my entire intro skipped. So, I had some confusing costuming, but the whole thing was kind of that way… and I guess we can just blame the format anyway. It was still fun. And I got to go eat Doomie’s with some great ladies!

• Finally got to see 1970s-style Hollywood Boulevard thanks to that Tarantino movie. I was only there for the throwback architecture. Walking home after class, I saw Brad Pitt.

• Took myself to the beach again.

NOVEMBER

• November 1. The day I saw Dear Evan Hansen. I was not ready. It was so good! I cried the entire time. I tried to win the ticket lottery every day. I listen to the soundtrack constantly. I may have to wait, like, 3 years to see it again.

• The next day, I picked up my rental. I deserve a break, so I took one in the form of a road trip along the PCH. I ram some errands in Burbank, then drove through Malibu Canyon to start in Malibu. It was beautiful. How have I never been to Malibu before after 2+ years in LA? The first day, I stopped in San Luis Obispo. Oof! At least the Embassy had a good evening reception. I ordered some Santa Maria steak on Postmates and it was so good! Then, I just relaxed. SLO is not that exciting. 

• Day 2, I drove up to Monterey. It took forever. But it was BEAUTIFUL. Just singing Dear Evan Hansen songs and trying to pay attention to the road. In Monterey, I went to some beach locations, like where John Denver crashed his plane. Then I watched the sun set on the beach. The Embassy there did not have a good evening reception.

• On the last day of my road trip, I drove up to San Jose to go to the Winchester Mansion. It was really neat, but not as exciting as I thought it would be. Still enjoyable. Had an expensive burger, went on a disappointing detour trying to find a Peet’s, then drove in the dark on The 5 back to LA. Wow! There is nothing there.

• The last day with the car, I took Penelope to the vet. Got the works. She’s all good. Didn’t even need a teeth cleaning.

• Station Theater’s Can’t Tell Us Nothing won Matt Besser’s Improv for Humans contest. They did a show at UCB, so reunited with some Houston improv folks. And also someone I worked with at the WPCK thing. Worlds collide!

• Saw a screening of Stan & Ollie at IFC Fest. The acting was great!

• There was a book event for Paul Myers’ book about Kids in the Hall at UCB with Dave and Scott. Scott is a force of nature. I love him so much! Also, Paul Myers is Mike’s brother… or Mike Myers pretending to be a guy named Paul who is also his brother.

• When I was in high school and college, there was a stand up / storytelling show in LA called Uncabaret. If I lived in LA, I would have gone. Now that I do, I went to their 25th anniversary show. It was a room full of people from the 90s, still in the 90s. Not a complaint.

• Late one night, I saw that Katie was subletting the apartment she had just moved out of. A studio in Hollywood in my budget, bills included. By the end of the month, I had the keys to that apartment. I should have gone ahead and put my notice in for December 1, but I got nervous. I ended up paying rent on 2 places.

• Started Improv 4 at The Pack. Rich is great! He has the perfect personality of a person I can get along with.

• Thanksgiving at Fogo de Chao is TOO MUCH MEAT!

• Very Famous got into SF Sketchfest! Finally going to San Francisco!

DECEMBER

• Packing! That pretty much sums it up. I rented a car for the small stuff. Asked for help with the big stuff. We did it! Penelope and I are free!

• Ian asked me to be in his directorial debut at Second City — A Fonzie Scheme. We did rehearsals to generate material. It was fun.

• I saw Come From Away. I mean, after Dear Evan Hansen, I thought I would never be able to love a new musical, but this one got me. It was good.

• I got older. For my actual birthday, we went to a Yoga guru’s Winter Solstice Celebration — even though it wasn’t the solstice yet. We did some intention setting and white people dancing and healing breathing and tarot card pulling and labyrinth walking and fireside singing. Then we got ice cream. The following day, I invited some people to bottomless mimosa brunch. It was a great time! A single mimosa, followed by a carafe of mimosa, then another single mimosa is the perfect amount of mimosa. Then, I bought some corn cookies and a slice of crack pie from milk bar.

• Spent the next few days getting the apartment in order, so I could come back home to not a mess after the holidays. I did a lot, so I’m looking forward to getting home to Penelope.

• Capped off a creative year by submitting my very first late night-style writing packet. A warmup for the NBC Late Night Writers Workshop. Guys, I’ve known it my whole life: I friggin’ love late night!

• And just for good measure, my $400 (I got them on sale for $75) sunglasses broke. I was tempted to get some Ray Bans, but opted for some MUCH cheaper Target ones. RIP Jimmy Choo star sunglasses. They were good to me for like 3 years AT LEAST.

• Went back home for the holidays. Spent a lot of quality time with Mom and Dad. Saw Mark and Jacob. Didn’t get nearly enough writing done. Didn’t finish my book. At least I got to mostly relax. Mom let me win at Scrabble a couple times before winning like 12 times after that.

A LOOK AHEAD

Tonight for New Year’s Eve, Emily, Ian and I are going to see Bob and Naomi’s Not Inappropriate Show at UCB. Then later, we are going to the New Years Eve celebration at Dynasty Typewriter. They got a lot going on over there.

I tried to focus on the high points of this past year. The low points were pretty low. I’ve struggled this year, but have done my best to try and stay positive. I lived and I learned.

The word of the year for 2019 is BUDGET. I am going to set myself up with the tools I need to budget my money, budget my time and budget my food. The main focus will be finding a new job. That has been a big issue since I moved to LA. I’m wearing myself out. 

I need to cut myself some slack this year, but also continue to get shit done and be better at that.

I hope the rest of you have a wonderful year. And, if you made it this far, why are we not best friends and going to Salt & Straw every month or laughing and bitching over bottomless mimosas every other weekend? I need more of that!

BONUS

Annual kitty feet, anyone?