#i would literally not be able to sleep at night if my stupid warm up doodle got a little guy injured

[brainlessbaguette]

Was doing warmups and zoned out, ended up doodling my pets, thought it was funny so I'm sharing because why not.

Oh psa tho, I am not endorsing or encouraging allowing prey animals around predator, that can and often does end really badly, this is clearly exaggerated and my doggo is trained to be okay around my rabbit.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Treason | Azriel x Reader

Day 4: Blood w/ Azriel

Summary: You come home early from a trip, only to discover a particular Vanserra warming the bed in your place.

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: Smut, gay sex, naked men, HEAVY angst, cheating, blood, violence (punching), mentions of illness, does not have a happy ending. this is literally just heartbreaking.

A/N: well, azris is now something I’ve written for. this is literally so sad, but gotta have something for angstober, even if I don’t think angst is my strongsuit. hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

It was late when you got home.

You were supposed to stay on your visit to Dawn Court a bit longer, but after falling mildly ill for a few days, you’d decided to cut it off a day or two early and return home. It wasn’t like you were too upset to go see your partner a few days earlier, even if the two of you weren’t mates, you were happy with what you had found.

Or at least you thought you were.

The House was dark when you arrived, the sentient home opening the door for you, quicker than normal, almost. As if urgent, trying to pull you along.

You didn’t want to wake Azriel, assuming he was asleep by now. He rarely got good sleep these days, getting up in the middle of the night to take flights, saying he needed to sort his thoughts. You didn’t blame him. His work wasn’t exactly the best for his mental state.

Sitting down at the table, you waited for the House to give you a meal, per usual, but it didn’t happen.

You waited a few seconds, pausing, and glancing around as if to see the reason for the delay around the room.

“House? Can I…have food?”

You whispered to the thin air, knowing you probably sounded stupid. Hesitantly, you knocked on the wood, raising a brow in confusion, waiting a few more seconds before getting up from your chair with a sigh, deciding that you could just get your own food.

You walked quietly over to the cabinets, hand closing around the cold metal that felt a bit warmer tonight. The House itself felt warmer, almost uncomfortably so. Maybe the House was just having an off day, you couldn’t think of any other reason for its strange behavior.

As if to prove your point, when you pulled on the cabinet, instead of opening, it remained stubbornly shut, as if glued by someone.

Maybe another one of Cassian’s “jokes”.

So you tried another cabinet, the one that held the bread, and it also stubbornly refused to open.

After trying cabinet after cabinet, drawers, and more, you discovered that everything refused to open. It was as if the Mother herself had just decided to make you go to bed hungry.

Sighing, you gave up, deciding to just eat in the morning, quietly starting to pad down the hallway, rolling on the balls of your feet to keep your steps silent, not wanting to wake anyone.

Cauldron knows Nesta would crucify you if you interrupted her beauty sleep.

It was then that you heard it.

The unmistakable sound of sex. Moans and grunting.

You could recognize Azriel’s voice, but not the other one in the room that you and he shared.

You froze in place, almost stopping breathing as a sick feeling twisted in your gut, different from the nasty illness you’d gotten in Dawn. No, this wasn’t a physical sickness, it was a mental one. You tried to convince yourself that your assumptions were wrong, that you were overthinking and this was all just a big misunderstanding.

That you’d be able to fold into Azriel’s warm, strong arms like nothing had happened after this, that he would still be your safe place.

An invisible hand, familiar but alien at the same time, urged you forward, whispering into your ear.

Keep going, it said.

You must see, it murmured into your ear.

It felt like the wind raking through your hair, a gentle caress that was there and gone, a sad melancholy that seemed to already know there was no happy ending to this story. You’d been doomed from the moment you stepped into the House.

And so you continued walking.

You weren’t sure if it was just your imagination or not, but the air seemed to grow thicker, suffocating, wrapping hands around your throat and squeezing until you were almost hyperventilating when you walked. It was warmer here.

Much warmer than the House usually kept it at.

The hallway seemed to stretch on indefinitely, and you walked and walked and walked until the door was standing in front of you, handle staring at you.

Laughing at you.

Your shaky palm enveloped the handle, turning, pushing, unveiling the scene in the bedroom.

In your bedroom.

Your bed.

The other male was below him. Red locks that had a silver gleam in the dim light were strewn above him like a crown on the pillow that his face was shoved into. His ass was in the air, back arched, knees pushing into the bed.

Azriel was bare just like the other male. Kneeling behind him. Hovering over him.

Inside of him.

His hips pushed forwards and backward, a rhythm that seemed to taunt you, a rhythm you’d experienced before, but never quite so frenzied, never so excited or eager like it was his first time all over.

His wings were flared out, casting a deep shadow over the Vanserra beneath him. The Heir beneath him.

The enemy beneath him.

The door had swung open, the knob finally hitting the wall, and immediately Azriel snapped over to look at you, eyes widening.

You didn’t even know if you were crying. Everything felt numb, like a dream you could reach but not quite hold. Your limbs tingled, some sort of anger, or maybe sadness building, an outburst.

You could feel it coming as you watched, eyes dead, face blank.

Eris groaned at Azriel stopping, turning his head to look at him, but catching your eye as he saw you. He inhaled sharply.

The room went cold.

The candle went out.

It went further than just discovering an affair, you knew.

Eris was from another Court.

A Court that currently wasn’t allied with Night Court.

Azriel was essentially committing treason, an act punishable by imprisonment or even death in severe cases. And with Mor’s past with Eris, and how close Rhys was with Mor? There was no doubt in your mind Rhys would be pissed. Mor would be crushed.

Not just treason of the Court, but treason of the family as well.

Azriel seemed to realize this, rearing back away from Eris, the redhead hissing as Azriel yanked out of him. The shadowsinger tried to approach you, pulling a towel around his waist to cover himself.

Another towel was laid on the floor.

They’d both taken a shower in your bathroom.

The bathroom you and Azriel had shared once.

That sick feeling in your stomach traveled up and up, metastasizing through your blood, reaching your head and a blind anger overcame you.

Your head felt white hot, molten, almost.

Magma filled your veins, but not in the usual way it had in the past with Azriel.

His lips were moving. He was talking, saying something. You couldn’t hear over the ringing in your ears.

You didn’t bother trying to listen as that magma slid into your hands, your knuckles and fingers as your fist landed right on his jaw. Just like Cassian had taught you.

Just like Nesta had taught you.

He visibly recoiled, head spinning, Eris was on his feet now, baring his teeth.

You were yelling, words that tasted like iron and spoiled milk and rotten food that had been left out for too long leaving your lips, hands balled into fists again.

Something warm and wet was sliding down your cheeks.

Azriel kept saying something over and over, the same words leaving him, and it was only when a smarter part of your brain managed to finally listen, did you hear it.

“He’s my mate.”

You heard the choked sobs coming from him now and saw Eris rushing to him, trying to comfort him. The instincts in full control.

Then your senses picked up on it, your body kicking into overdrive and processing faster and faster now that your fight or flight had snapped.

They were mated. Freshly.

They had used your away time to seal the mating bond.

You knew you should feel bad for the crimson liquid dripping down Azriel’s nose from another punch you must’ve thrown, not even remembering properly anymore.

You should be happy for them.

But instead, you turned on your heel, walking out of the room into the hallway, only to see Cassian with bleary eyes walking over, visibly confused, and Nesta close behind.

But she knew. You could tell.

By that anger in her eyes that matched what you felt. The silver lurching in her icy blue eyes. She saw you, and murmured something to Cassian, him nodding, and she walked over to your side.

No words were said.

None needed to be.

She knew where you were going already. A place that was always safe, no matter what. The library door wasn’t locked like the cabinets had been. It never was.

You walked in, and that strange presence wrapped around you like a blanket, comforting. You walked and walked and kept walking, the labyrinth of bookshelves giving their condolences as you passed.

You only stopped walking when you reached a small nook, an area with windows of stained glass, moonlight gleaming through them and color splaying out on the floor, onto you and Nesta as you stopped and sat on the floor, back to the wall.

She sat next to you.

You leaned forward, curling inwards, only then breaking open and letting every shard of broken glass spill out of your eyes as sobs wracked your body, shaking you, cracking the stone foundation you’d built yourself on.

The sand that had felt like stone until the storm came.

Until you had to mourn someone who was still alive.

Tags:

@hawke1917

@angstober

[deedeeznoots]

Can we please get some hcs of Sukuna and reader in the fairytale AU 🥹🥹

Absolutely amazing writing I loved every single thing of it!💖💖

Cottage Life

➺ Characters: Ryomen Sukuna, Fem!Reader  

➺ Word Count: 2.5k

➺ Genre: Fluff, Mentions of Smut  

➺ Content: MDNI, Established Relationship, True Form!Sukuna, Princess!Reader, Swearing, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Smut

➺ A/N: Hi Anon! Thank you for the kind words and the request, I’d love to do this. I’m so glad that people enjoyed my Sukuna Fairy Tale AU so I’m 100% going to explore the idea more. On another note, this is also my first ever request🥹 I’m giggling and kicking my feet at the thought of people enjoying my writing enough to want to request specific things for me to create so I just want to take the time to say if you have an idea for me to write anything specific please do not hesitate to ask! Thank you all very very much. :)

➺ Synopsis: Small glimpses into your daily life with Sukuna in the deep woods. While not fully necessary to understand these little snippets, reading the beginning of your story with Sukuna would certainly enhance the experience. <3 

ꨄ Pre-Relationship: Secret Meetings ꨄ

➼ When you first began meeting with him regularly he was pretty mean to you and ignored you most of the time when you tried to talk to him. Despite this, he always kept you by his side anyways and didn’t deter you from meeting him.

➼ One time you straight up asked him why and he said it was because you brought food to him. While you accepted that answer, you knew inside that wasn’t really the case because he would still keep you around even after you both ate. 

➼ After warming up to you one of the things that you two bonded over was the nature in the forest. Sukuna would explain the wildlife to you since you were unfamiliar for a long time and he was to your surprise, a really good teacher. 

➼ He was able to answer any questions you had and went over every detail that he knew about the woods and was able to keep things interesting.

➼ When you both spent that night under the stars he was serious when he tried flirting with you but quickly realized what he did so he tried to play it off as a joke (he couldn’t be caught being too soft, after all). 

➼ Since he’s so much stronger and bigger than you (and literally everyone lol) he makes sure to be extra cautious and gentle around you because despite what he seems like, he doesn’t want to genuinely scare people, especially you.

➼ Speaking of, he has no idea why you aren’t scared of him and doesn’t understand why you act like the way he looks is no big deal. He doesn’t complain though and never mentions it to you. 

➼ One of the reasons you’re not scared of him is because he has saved your life more times than you could count, and why would you be scared of someone who continually keeps you alive, most of the time at his own expense? 

➼ “No, don't eat those berries, they’re poisonous…wha-what do you mean you already had five?!”

➼ He had to do some poison control that day… and it wasn’t very fun. 

➼ Every time he saves your life he always tells you that he’ll just leave you next time but you know that’s not true at all.

➼ You would also always get injured for stupid reasons so he’d take care of your wounds like he did when you both first officially met (he’d laugh first though)

➼ One of the days you visited you realized you had a talent for making flower crowns so you would spend a lot of time with him doing it while you both talked and walked around the woods.

➼ You mostly gave yours to him as a gift 

➼ He would grumble and act like he hated it but he would keep them on anyway and he kept all of them. After a while it grew into a small collection that he secretly cherishes. 

➼ Sukuna secretly (though, it wasn’t a secret to you) loved these meetings, and your visits were the highlight of his day every time.

ꨄ Early Relationship: Locked Away ꨄ

➼ Sukuna was confused at first when you stopped visiting him after sleeping with him. 

➼ He thought he did something wrong and you didn’t have a good time, or that he hurt you in some way. 

➼ He tried to put on the tough guy act at first and tried to convince himself that he didn’t like you all that much anyways. 

➼ Obviously, it wasn’t true and he’s a big softy on the inside so he gave into his temptations to see you. 

➼ When he saw the guards by your bedroom window, he realized what happened, and remembered that you always had to sneak out to see him. 

➼ Once he realized what actually happened he chastised himself for being so pouty and feeling sorry for himself instead of going to see you sooner. 

➼ To make up for this he goes to look at you every day as you stand by your window.

➼ Eventually, you noticed him and you both would spend the whole day just sitting with each other from afar. 

➼ Sometimes he would see you cry when he visited and his heart would break because he couldn’t wipe your tears away. 

➼ He has resisted the urge to attempt to fight the guards by your window more than he can count.

➼ Only reason he didn’t was his fear of making things worse for you if he did.

➼ On the day of your wedding, he noticed that you weren’t by your window like usual. 

➼ He learned his lesson about giving up on you too soon, so he decided instead of leaving you be, that he would go around the castle and look for you to see if you were okay. 

➼ Too invested in finding you, he didn’t realize that he stood a tad too close to some of the guards of your castle, leading to him getting caught by them. 

➼ That turned out to be a happy accident however, as they led him directly to you and gave you both the chance to run away together. 

➼ He was secretly proud of you stabbing someone so easily, but he’ll never tell you that directly.

ꨄ Long-Term Relationship: Cottage Life ꨄ

➼ When you both first found the cottage in the woods, it was in very rough shape. 

➼ It was dirty, barely had a roof, and there were broken windows everywhere. It was obvious that no one had lived there for some time. 

➼ Well… one man’s trash is another one’s treasure, and you both worked day and night to fix the cottage after first finding it. 

➼ You weren’t used to any physical discomfort at all, so it took a while for you to get used to these types of conditions. However, Sukuna always made sure to help you feel better.

➼ For example, one time it rained and you two got super wet inside your home due to the roof not being 100% secure. 

➼ It was tough for you. Not only were the two of you wet, but the inside of the home you both spent tons of time fixing up was flooded now as well. 

➼ Thankfully, Sukuna always found a way to turn unfortunate situations upside down. 

➼ “Come on, let’s go play in the mud, you didn’t eat enough dirt as a kid”

➼ You both immediately felt better once you played in the rain together… especially when Sukuna would be ever the romantic and lift you up to kiss you as water droplets fell on both of you.

➼ After months of sweat and tears, the cottage was finally fixed and cleaned. 

➼ It quickly became the love of your life, second only to Sukuna, and you both quickly settled into your humble abode.  

➼ You would always wake up first which would give you a few moments where you could stare at Sukuna’s sleeping face

➼ This was your favorite thing to do every morning, because you loved his calm expression more than anything.

➼ Sometimes he catches you and as he opens his eyes he would sarcastically go “Don’t stare. It’s weird” and laugh at your blushing face. 

➼ When this happens you would just lightly hit his chest and jokingly tell him to fuck off. 

➼ You would always give him a nice long kiss first thing every morning though.

➼ Despite you no longer being a Princess, he always makes sure to pamper you like one anyways.

➼ For example, whenever you have a craving for something that can’t be found in the wild he would make sure to get it at any costs. 

➼ This includes traveling hours to the closest villages and sneaking in to take their stuff. 

➼ You always get mad at him for doing this because it could put him in serious danger, but he laughs and tells you it’s fine and that in all his time living near humans he was only caught once and it was because of you. 

➼ To this, you roll your eyes but you thank him anyways for caring so much about you that he’d work so hard to satisfy such a small craving. 

➼ Whenever you’re busy doing something, he makes it a point to catch you off guard and hug you from behind with his four arms. 

➼ You’re never actually caught off guard and can sense him from miles away (he has very loud footsteps), but you pretend anyway to get him to keep doing it. 

➼ Most days you both spend your time walking around and exploring the nature around you both. However, on particularly lazy days, you two spend most of the day just cuddling together.

➼ One thing that stays the same is that every night both of you look at the stars like the first night you two spent together. 

➼ Unlike that first night though, Sukuna would always make it a point to go down on you while outside. 

➼ Also unlike that first night, there was no pressure to rush home so you two would fall asleep outside under the stars.

➼ One time though, you woke up screaming when you found a giant bug crawling on you. Sukuna took the bug away but would always make fun of you for it whenever you both decided to sleep outside. 

➼ Sukuna would tell you he loved you in the most random of times: Walking around, eating dinner, anywhere really. He would just look you in the eyes and quietly say “I love you”.

➼ This is always paired with small kisses all over your face that make you giggle because of how ticklish they are. 

➼ Sometimes when you two are cuddling in bed he would randomly lick your back with his stomach mouth to make you jump. 

➼ “What the hell Ryomen!?” 

➼ “Hehe, sorry” 

➼ You both discovered your hidden talents while living together, and Sukuna realized his talent happened to be dress making. He realized this after he made a little makeshift dress out of your wedding attire when he carelessly ripped it away. 

➼ He was able to make you some pretty good dresses with the most random of cloth that he found around the woods. They weren’t the most formal, but they were certainly the best dresses you’ve ever had, being handmade by someone you loved.

➼ You once again tell him he doesn’t have to do all this but he makes you stuff anyway. 

➼ “Who said it was about you? This shit is fun as hell!” which made you laugh.

➼ He now has to pay extra mind to not completely rip your clothes off during bed because you two no longer had an infinite void of clothing choices. 

➼ In fact, he actually swung a little too far in the opposite direction…

➼ “Wait. Take it off carefully, I worked hard on this one. I SAID BE CAREFUL IDIOT–”

➼ Despite this, accidents still happen and sometimes he would rip them off in the heat of the moment anyways.

➼ Living together, you had to learn to do a lot of things related to maintaining a home like cleaning since you weren’t used to doing this stuff yourself.

➼ Sukuna told you that it’s fine and that he’d do it but you insisted that you should learn how to do things on your own now that you’re independent. 

➼ Being the good teacher that he is,  Sukuna would go on to teach you basic chores. 

➼ He would still tease you sometimes while teaching you though. Such as one time when you accidentally burned yourself by the fire trying to make dinner and he laughed when you kept flailing your hand everywhere. 

➼ He didn’t bully you for too long though, he was still worried of course. So, he made sure to heal the burns and help kiss them better. 

➼ You’re still able to make those flower crowns like before, so you guys would make flower crowns for each other all the time, and this time Sukuna didn’t hide how proud he was of them. 

➼ Everytime he gave you yours he’d give you a small kiss on the forehead before placing the crown on your head.

➼ You would try to do the same and would go on your tippy toes trying to reach him, but he’s hella tall so it doesn’t work. 

➼ “Jesus, you are 9 ft tall” 

➼ “Is that what they tell people? That’s not true at all” He would smile, crossing his arms as you attempted to jump up to place the crown on him. 

➼ “Well whatever you are I can’t fucking reach you”

➼ He eventually lifts you up by your hips and lets you place the crown on him and give him his little forehead kiss. 

➼ Whenever you two are together, he always has his hands on you (he has four of course, and he needs to put them to good use). Whether it’s placing your hand on his, or having an arm around your waist, one hand always had to be on you. 

➼ You both have every meal together, from breakfast to dinner. They’re mostly quiet and you both just take the time to bask in each other’s presence. 

➼ From this, you learned just how much Sukuna LOVES to eat.

➼ You noticed this already before of course, since your relationship started with you bringing him food, but you really notice it once you begin eating together 

➼ Sometimes when he’s eating his food too quickly you tell him to take it easy in order to not upset his stomach 

➼ In response, he’d point to his smiling stomach mouth and go “Does he look upset to you?” 

➼ You’d just laugh at this point lol and leave him be with one last comment about how he seriously shouldn’t eat so fast 

➼ He listens for a bit and takes smaller bites, but he goes right back into it after a few minutes.

➼ You weren’t great at cooking at first, but Sukuna didn’t really care and ate your food anyways

➼ “Don’t worry I eat anything, this is trash though” he’d say with food in his mouth, only half joking.

➼ Once you got better at the skill, he always insisted for you to cook or for the two of you to cook together since it tasted better when you did it (when you knew what you were doing, of course). 

➼ Speaking of together… At first, you two tried to take baths together at the nearby river.

➼ Emphasis on tried, because Sukuna always got too excited seeing your naked body and you two weren’t able to get clean at all. 

➼ Due to this, you decided it was best to bathe separately, to Sukuna’s dismay. 

➼ Occasionally you still allowed him to join you, of course. 

➼ Sukuna made love with you every time like it would be the last time. 

➼ In the back of his head, he always remembers the time you were taken away from him right after you both spent a night together.

➼ With this in mind, he always makes sure to make each session one you’d never forget, and he always delivered on this promise, of course. 

➼ He would always take care of you after of course, and always made sure you were okay. 

➼ You were fine, but you passed out 99% of the time so he would wipe you down and make sure to cuddle you. 

➼ He’s always worried about you being in danger again, but whenever he sees you asleep next to him he can’t help but think of anything but what he ever did to deserve you 

➼ Of course, from the moment you wake up to see his sleeping face, you can’t help but think the same thing about him.  

➼ Your life is a lot different now. Not only do you no longer have the title of Princess, but you’ve traded in your castle for a tiny cottage, and a crown for dirt-covered feet. Yet, you wouldn’t change it for the world… because for every painful burn and disgusting bug on you, is his smile, and that smile is worth more than any title.

-

A/N: Enjoyed seeing Fairy Tale!Sukuna? Just a reminder that if you haven’t read it yet, please feel free to read the story that these headcanons are based on!

[flippinpancakes64]

could you write the cullen's being jealous??

The Cullens being Jealous

Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy this!

Also I mentioned it in my last post but I know not everybody would have seen it because I didn't put as many tags, so I'll say it again.

My requests are open!!!!! Please request, I'm bored :(

Edward:

I feel like he would get jealous pretty easy

Like he can hear everybody's thoughts

He already knows if someone starts expressing interest in you before they can even do anything

But the most he would do in that scenario is maybe keep you a little farther away from that person

You know like moving your seat in class so you're closer to him and farther from them

Walking different ways to class to avoid them

Stuff like that

He wouldn't say anything to you or to them

Now if they act on it?

Completely different story

No matter your gender, physical appearance, race, literally anything, the second you guys start dating everyone knows it

So for someone to know that you guys are dating and still try something?

He is seeing red

It doesn't matter what the other person did

A flirty note, asking you on a date, literally touching your fingers while they hand you something

All of it's the same to Edward

If it wasn't your fault or you weren't reciprocal, it's very likely that you wouldn't even know anything happened

To you, Edward just stepped away for a moment at lunch

But in reality he cornered the poor, stupid person and not-so-nicely told them to never even look at you again or they were gonna be dead

But if he sees something that you did as meaning that you were into it?

The same thing happens to the other person

And he sits down to have a talk with you

Maybe he only heard about what happened and didn't get to read your mind as it was happening

Or maybe he can't read your mind for some reason

Just explain to him that he's the only one for you

And let him read your mind if he can to let him know that you mean it

Overall he's very protective and pretty prone to jealousy

Alice:

I don't really see her as the jealous type

She has that mentality of "they come home with me every night so it doesn't matter what other people do"

Like she's got you already

And she doesn't ever see you cheating

So she's not worried

The only time that she would get jealous is if you show a liking to human nature

AKA anything that she can't give you

If you mention something about someone's hand being so warm or mention having a sleepover with someone she gets a bit jealous

The sad type

It just reminds her that she can't be everything for you

If you're a human it's even worse

She knows that she's cold

She knows she can't sleep

She knows that she'll never be able to enjoy your favorite foods with you

It just hurts to be reminded of it

But she's also not the type to stew in it

She will tell you straight-up if something is bothering her

She won't ask you to never make comments like that ever again

Obviously that's not really something that can be controlled

But she just wants you to know why she's a little more down than usual today

"Oh nothing, I was just reminded that I'm not human"

Please give her so many kisses and tell you that you love her no matter what

Jasper:

I can already tell I'm gonna get carried away

Jasper in my mind 🤝 angst

He gets so jealous

But again it's the sad kind

He's not perfect

He's not human

And he's not good for you

The fact that you agreed to date him at all is still a wonder to him

So he's very sensitive to seeing you with other people at all

He knows that you have friends obviously and that you can't be with him 24/7

But when he sees you and your lab partner laughing and making jokes, when he sees one of your oldest friends leaning way too close, when he finds a note shoved in between your papers, it gets to be too much

It just reminds him of how many better options there are for you

He wouldn't say anything to the person making moves on you

He knows that it would definitely end up in a police report and the Cullens needing to move again

But I feel like he would take some time to talk to you

He would take a while to psych himself up though

Maybe a few practice convos with Alice

And a threat from Rosalie that she is going to take matters into her own hands if he doesn't say anything

He would be very open about what's bothering him

He doesn't like keeping secrets from you

So he would tell you about how he felt seeing the way someone acted with you

The type of emotions they were feeling

And how it was bothering him

He would accept all of your explanations that the person was just a friend, or that you don't feel that way

But I feel like what he would really need is some intense reassurance that you do want to be dating him

And that you love him

Aww so sweet

Rosalie:

Yeah she doesn't get jealous

She's a bad bitch

She's hot

And she knows that you love her

It doesn't matter if some nobody from your highschool starts hitting on you

Because there's no way they have a chance with you

And she knows that

Because guaranteed you are a bad bitch too

The only time that really any reaction would come from her is if somebody physically hits on you and makes you uncomfortable

And it's not jealousy it is full protective rage

Like how dare someone touch her SO and think they can get away with it

A note or two, maybe some longing glances she can get past

But harassing for a date, pressuring you for your number, or even making physical advancements that you are not okay with?

Yeah suddenly they wake up the next day with a broken arm

And she goes full exposé

If they sent you any nudes they are getting leaked to the school

She doesn't play around like that

Fuck around and find out

But she will never be jealous of some losers trying to take what's not theirs

Emmett:

He's also not really one to get jealous

In fact he kinda likes the opportunities

Like if some guy is hitting on you he LOVES being able to sneak up and go

"Babe is this guy bothering you?"

And then the dude just turns around and sees this 6 foot something 300 pounds of pure muscle dude standing there

He loves it

He does get a bit annoyed though

Like if there's one person that keeps sending you notes, asking you on dates, trying to sit next to you in class, he gets frustrated

He offers to beat them up

To get them to leave you alone of course not because it's annoying him

Even if you say not to he's still gonna do it

He's like a 50's gangster waiting in an alleyway for the person to show up

He doesn't physically beat them up

Yet

If the person persists after his "stern talk" their ass gets jumped

And he will always deny it if you ask him

Oh well :)

Esme:

I feel like she might be a bit insecure about being one of the "normal" ones

She doesn't have any special powers

And she didn't have any particularly strong characteristics that manifested themselves when she turned

In her mind she's just a little "blah"

So I feel like she would get jealous easy

But it wouldn't have an opportunity to present itself as much

She wouldn't get jealous over most humans

And since she spends most of her time in the house, she doesn't even get to see you out and about interacting with people all that often

So I feel like the moments in which her jealousy makes itself known would be when other vampires are in the area

Especially if they're vegetarians

And ESPECIALLY if they're gifted

It was her actual waking nightmare when all of the vampires were collected to protect Renesmee

(Not that she really had time to be worrying about that but yk)

The only other time I could see her getting jealous would be if you two were out and about together and someone started hitting on you

And even then she would only tell you about it after the person left

"I can't believe they were flirting with you while I am literally right here" "...are you jealous?" "...no..."

Carlisle:

This is a man who is secure in his relationship

He trusts you completely because he knows that you trust him completely

SO many people flirt with him at the clinic (I don't blame them I would too tbh) (actually no I wouldn't I'm too scared to do that)

He knows that people find him attractive

And he knows that people find you attractive because how could they not

But he has full faith in you

And he is very transparent

He tells you all of his stories from the day when he comes home from work

"This woman came in today with a broken foot, like completely turned around, bone showing and everything. And she still looked at me and asked for my number! And then she passed out..."

He thinks it's funny

Because he would never, not in a million years, even CONSIDER cheating

The only thing would be if you're describing an interaction you had and you don't sound completely put-off by it or if he finds that you kept a note someone gave you that was very clearly flirtatious

He, once again, does not let it stew, though

He directly asks about it

Prying into the details of how you feel about this person and why you talked the way you did/kept the note they gave

I can't imagine anyone cheating on him tho so just tell him the truth that you didn't mean it that way or just forgot to throw the note away

He still fully trusts you tho

Vampire! Bella:

She sort of has the same problem as Esme

In her mind she still thinks of herself as the boring, plain-looking girl who just blended in

She doesn't consider herself to be anything special

So when she sees you talking to someone else, maybe laughing a bit too hard at someone's joke, or even hanging out with someone, she gets super jealous

I am sad to say though that she does immediately jump to conclusions

She gets sad for a bit but then immediately she flies into accusations

Asking you what you were doing with that person, if you want to break up with her, if she's not good enough, if you already cheated on her

It gets a bit exhausting after a while

I feel like this would be a genuine problem

Once she met Edward, she basically left all of her friends

So she has a little bit of a skewed idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like

I mean you can't entirely blame her

Her only other experience with a relationship was complete obsession

So she thinks your relationship should be the same

You just need to tell her that

That most normal people in relationships do actually have friends

She'll get it at some point... maybe

[brooooswriting]

can you do 6 for tara x fem reader :)

6. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you”

Tara jolted up again in the middle of night, the threat she and her sister got two days ago making her nightmares reappear. You were already awake, unable to sleep at the thought of something or other someone hurting your girlfriend. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe. Nobody is here” you mumbled as you engulfed her in a hug, you had left the bedroom door open so you could see the front door and you had checked each window and each room before going to bed. Plus Mindy, Chad and Anika slept in the living room.

“Why are you even awake?” The brunette asked once she calmed down and noticed the open book on your lap and the small lamp glowing. She was still leaning against you, not making any move to leave your warm and comforting embrace.

“Oh you know, can’t sleep every once in a while” you lied with a rather believing smile but thinking you could fool her was stupid. You had always lied easily and people fell for it, until Tara came along. First of all, you found it incredibly hard to lie to her and second of all, she always saw through you. Her raised eyebrow made you press your lips into a thin line before speaking up again.

“Okay, I wanted to be able to look out for you. You know, make sure nobody enters and stuff” you admitted in a small voice while Tara sighed.

“I’ve been thinking…” she started, suddenly scooting away from you. This was the first bad sign, normally the smaller girl wouldn’t turn down cuddles for anything. “We should break up. This is dangerous and I don’t want you involved” she blurted out, pulling her knees up to her chest. Your heart broke at her words and at the way she looked so miserable. For a second you were scared that she really didn’t want you around anymore and that this was just the best opportunity she had at pushing you away, but the tears forming in her eyes quickly changed your mind.

“No” was the only thing you said, as you laid back down on the bed pulling the blanket up to your chest.

“No?” She questioned, confusion showing in every feature. If the situation wasn’t so bad you would have laughed.

“No. I’m not going to let you go through this alone again. This time I’m here and you can’t stop me” you told her, keeping your voice very nonchalant. Your arms opened for her to crawl into since you hoped that she would just drop the whole topic and go back to sleep. If someone really wanted to hurt them than they needed all of their energy.

“Why?”

“What why?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you and before I met you I was an asshole, I lied and I did a lot of stupid shit but then you came and suddenly my image of a perfect Saturday night changed from parties and hookups to watching horror movies with you and cuddling while ordering take out. I finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And truth be told I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you” even though cheese shit like that wasn’t really your thing this had to be said. There was no way you were loosing this girl if there was any, literally any way to stop this.

Tara quickly wiped away the tears that left her eyes and threw herself into your arms that were more than happy to engulf her. “If you die, I’m going to kill you and them” she said against your chest making you giggle as your hand weaved through her hair.

“That’s my girl” you said proudly and pressed a kiss to her hair. After some reassurance she finally fell asleep, soft breaths hitting your neck. You still didn’t really sleep that night, you were going to protect your girl and her family with every bit that you had. Even if it might mean that you weren’t going to survive.

A girl like Tara was worth it!

[bambisnc]

he's the one that's livin' in my system baby! [04]

pairing : roommate!sungchan x reader genre : sickfic n fluff nawt smut im sorry about the opening line i js thought it was funi ,, cw/tw : food mentions + hes sick bc he looked after the reader too well D: wc : 0.4k ishh

you've discovered over the past 2 weeks that your nights are spent significantly more productively when sleeping with your roommate.

as in literally sleeping with your roommate i.e. just lying in the same bed (usually his).

you did start out with a well defined list of rules the most highlighted of which was to ensure a pillow boundary between the two of you at all times.

sungchan always somehow ends up going against it thought, much to your delight dismay.

and as you woke up one day in the middle of the night, the clock displaying an even 4.00 am, with his limbs fully entangled with your own in a way you would not have thought was possible; the only thing you can think about is how hot he feels against your skin.

....he is quite literally burning up. and you can almost swear his heart seems to be beating a little too much faster than normal (given your position with your face dangerously close to his chest.)

he's sick.

the idiot's sick.

after the multiple times he insisted he'd be fine and made the extremely clever decision of forgetting all constraints of personal space because he's jus' taking care of you :( pshh obviously no he won't catch your little cold but if you cuddle with him you'll feel soo warm and comfyy~ <3

... you'd hit him if you didn't feel really bad right now; especially because sungchan's intentions were never bad, if a little stupid. he's always looking out for you.. and the one time you tried doing something for him you ended up with prescribed bed rest.

the least you could do was take care of him.

(and there was also the whole him saying he wanted to get ice-cream with you thing which could totally just be you over thinking but sungchan and you definitely did need to work that out. eventually. a couple of months should be ideal...)

you lay a cool, damp washcloth on his forehead; brushing away the messy hair which sticks to his skin slightly.

and you really, really shouldn't; but you can't help gently placing a feather-light kiss to his temple.

but hey. idiots don't get sick right?

or do they..? yeah you honestly can't recall what the lesson supposed to be learnt from all of this was...

-

later, when you're able to pull yourself away from your roommate's bedside and make your way towards the kitchen to whip up some porridge (light on the stomach, warm for the throat); a little sniff tells you that you are not alone.

and there stands sungchan, busily rubbing out the residual sleep from his eyes, managing to still look annoyingly adorable - which is a great feat considering his height.

scolding him for getting out of bed gets you nowhere, he only declares that he wouldn't have been able to rest anyway; not without you there..

notes : my god how do phone users do htis my laptop isnt laptopping v well so im doign this from via a phone and ouch. + [series m.list] [m.list]

song rec : sugarcoat by natty. No i wont be inserting a link.

[i4bellingham]

BREAKFAST IN BED: joão felix x reader

CONTENT: implied previous sexual intercourse, nothing to explicit, kissing, marking, making out (?), mentions of hickeys, innuendos :P + not proofread (online translated) portuguese so translations might be wrong

NOTE: i feel like shit right now because i literally went about my day without eating anything ☹️ and i was wondering why i felt nauseous and with a head-splitting headache like i’m so stupid

João has a secret.

Well, not really a secret secret but not a lot of people know of it either.

He’s got freckles dusting the wide expanse of his broad shoulders, usually being covered by his tan when he was back home in Portugal or when he spent his break bathing in the Spanish summer. But in the cold London weather and the lack of sun to bathe his skin, his freckles were more prominentㅡ beautifully prominent than ever.

With his head laid on your bare chest, fluffy hair in a mess and shoulders so broad they nearly covered you, you have the perfect spot to see the small brown dots littering all across his shoulders up to his mid waist.

You reach a finger, touching his warm skin underneath the pad of your index before slowly connecting João’s freckles like how you would trace the stars up in the night sky.

Your boyfriend was still sleeping soundless above you, releasing a soft breath of relief here and there when your finger touched the spot on his nape.

You ran your finger from his back freckles to running them through his hair, softly massaging his scalp as he slowly opens his eyes, adjusting from the light that greeted him from his sleep.

“Good morning.” He smiles, reaching down to kiss the skin of your throat.

You rub your palm over his back, prompting him to lay down on you as he enjoys himself of the soft waking moment with you, just like he always does.

“Já é hora do almoço, meu amor.” You tell him. It’s already lunch time, my love.

He lets out a groan, adjusting his head back on his pillows before it's you who he pulls towards him, laying a hand across your stomach as he curls beside you.

“Está com fome?” He pulls the duvet over his chest, draping it over his figure to protect himself from the cold. Are you hungry?

You nod. “A little bit.”

“Should we eat out or just cook? Mas ainda não quero deixar a cama.” He groans and pats his cheeks. “E ainda não recebi os meus beijos matinais.” But I still don’t want to leave the bed though. And I still haven't received my morning kisses.

You jokingly roll his eyes at that, watching his smile widen when you lean down to kiss him on the cheek.

“Just one?” He pouts.

You roll yourself over above him, caging him beneath your rather smaller frame before leaning down to kiss his lips.

João grabs your waist, letting the white sheet fall off your shoulders before disconnecting your lips from each other as he started trailing kisses down your throat, occasionally nipping at your skin and marking the spot that he wasn't able to last night. He connects your forehead together, watching you through lidded eyes as he observes your marked-up skin, purples and reds dotting your chest, throat and neck like his perfect little canvas.

“You know what? My appetite just change, I think I want breakfast in bed right now...”

[alaskan-wallflower]

Hey friend, it’s been a minute! School has been so busy so I haven’t been on here as much as I’d like but I’ve been slowly starting to write a Sodapop sickfic and since I know you also like hurt/comfort, I was wondering if you had any hcs about Soda with a stomach bug. My fic is gonna include him being taken care of by Steve, Darry, and Pony if you feel like including them :) have a great day ❤️🎞️

hi hi hi!! it’s nice to hear from you again!! 💜 of course i got some!! sorry i didn’t answer till now, i usually save some asks for my queue haha

for one he either 1. got it from doing some stupid shit with steve or 2. he ate bad food

regardless bro is NOT happy

he probably tries to hide it because he doesn’t want to miss work because he knows how hard he needs to be working but uh

his stomach has never heard of “subtlety” and 100% rats out his attempts at going to work

Darry and Pony both had to go to school/work but I feel like Pony would pass the message to Steve at school and Steve would literally just,,,skip school and work to be able to take care of him

Hes a very physical person and at first I feel like Steve was NOT having it because he didn’t want to get sick but he can’t say no to Soda and his puppy eyes

So Soda is curled up in Steve’s lap while Steve just pets his hair and runs his tummy a bit

He gets freaked out by how vocal poor Soda’s stomach is-like Pony and Darry are used to it but Steve is oblivious as hell lol

He feels SO terrible if Pony has a track meet that day too and tries to go but Steve is like “if you get out of that bed I won’t cuddle you” and Soda just relents

Poor boy has VICIOUS bouts of nausea. Like he can’t even keep his eyes open.

You always know when he’s gonna vomit because he kinda does that thing dogs do where they make that sound and their chests heave-he also gets real hiccupy

He hates vomiting and always ends up crying because he’s just straight up miserable

By the time Pony and Darry get home, Darry tells Pony to go shower and he gets in bed on Soda’s other side

He gets a lot more outwardly nurturing post book I think? Like he’s just down to eye level with Soda and is like “Hey, buddy…you okay..?” and Soda just whines and puts his head in Darry’s lap

Its bad enough that Pony and Darry can’t cook food because the scent of it makes Soda vomit

I think Soda also has very heightened senses when he’s sick for whatever reason so they can’t even go out to get food because he’ll just vomit when he smells it

So they just opt to not have dinner and Soda feels even WORSE because he knows Darry came from a long day at work and Pony came from a track meet but they both just tell him it’s okay and that they’ll be sure to eat a big breakfast the next day (let’s say the next day is Saturday lol)

While both of them usually get hangry as hell they just don’t in Soda’s presence because they know how tough it is on him and they don’t wanna make him feel worse

They try to make him some soup, or at least some broth and it sits pretty okay. He can’t hold down more than broth but Steve tells them it’s progress because he “couldn’t hold down the chocolate cake earlier” and they’re both like “bro what”

(Steve does not know how to care for people and it takes him a bit but he’ll try as hard as he can for Soda)

Steve stays at their house that night because he knows if he goes home he’s probably just gonna get kicked out again but he’s more than happy to stay

Darry gives the best belly rubs I think because his hands are big and warm

Pony tries rubbing his back too which actually works fairly well

Pony insists on sleeping on Darry’s other side tho because god forbid he starts kicking in his sleep and he kicks Soda he’s never forgive himself

Pony isn’t as openly affectionate with Steve around but he’s still trying

They all end up falling asleep together and Soda’s smiling for the first time that day because he’s with his best friend and his two brothers who have been getting along a lot better than normal and he’s just so happy

Hope these are good!! might make some for Darry, Pony and Johnny later cause they’re my other favs haha

[lucatielsgirlfriend]

good morning. i mean afternoon <3

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

21. obsession from childhood?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

32. top five favorite vines?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

56. favorite tradition?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

66. favorite flower(s)?

72. worst subject?

82. pc or console?

88. your greatest wish?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

94. favorite season?

96. desktop background?

and i have to ask this one ^-^ 98. favorite historical era?

omg you love me and you want to know everythig about me ^-^

5. bottles is easiest, but a crisp glass soda feels so nice!

6. out of those the styles that i think look best on me are boho and sportswear :) i like goth but im not really in the culture

7. headphones. i found this really nice compact travel set so im not totally unaware when i wesr them out!

8. tricky. I do love movies, but tv shows are easier to digest for me so i watch those more

9. um. probably when water hits the hot ground. rain or otherwise. like waterguns. bbqs are also really nice :>

10. i was a fat kid so not many. i really enjoyed badminton and tennis and also rounders or baseball

15. i remember liking Kensuke's Kingdom for a book report but idk if holds up... I also enjoyed when we analysed poetry in our final year ^^

17. um i have three pairs of slip on sketchers so those. theyre easy and shoes r expensive :p

18. heavy summer rain 🤤 thunder or not

19. i roll around a lott in my sleep, so i wake up in all sorts of positions. its usually easiest to get to sleep on my side tho.

21. i was a pokemon kid. show, cards, games and merch. always on that damn ds

26. i kinda hate the heat, so chilling in front of a fan with a sippy drink and music is sooo good. i liked the beach when I last went though!

27. stupid-cold bonfire nights are realllly nice. my birthdays right around guy fawkes so lots of nice memories there. im also more active in winter because it gets darker faster and i dont sweat as much.

28. five... umm: 'Laughing Gas - The Fratellis'; 'Override (A) - Area 11'; 'Knees Deep - The Beths'; 'To Be Better - Miracle of Sound'; 'Moment of Forever - Willie Nelson'. ^-^;

32. umm idk i was never really on vine... literally none come to mind sorrry

46. naked for sure especially in summer. t-shirt and bottoms on the coldest nights. ^-^

56. tradition... not sure I have any anymore. when i was a teenager we used to go to the lake and follow a river and have a shitty bbq by the side with a bluetooth speaker. and everyone would jump in the water and I never would hehe

64. YouTube. I yearn for the old days of YouTube... I was just becoming sentient when youtube was coming around so i was on it a lot

66. tulips! esp orange ones :>

72. maths. numbers hard.

82. PC all the way from my shitty laptops to here. i love my compuper

88. umm many. to be a girl. to be able to be social without anxiety attacks. to be able to afford things. to not be scared of intimacy. for my pets and family and friends to live forever and always be happy. many many wishes.

92. lamps. i hate overheads especially white ones.

94. Autumn. idk I like the colours. and there's usually a lot more happening around then. halloween and birthdays and getting cooler.

96. usually a game still. or art from a steam trading card or smthn. right now it's a boss from Slay the Spire :)

98. I dont know a lot about history as I should. but I'm interested in gold rush/ westward expanse era stuff, what little I know of it. I should learn more history... Idk sometimes ot just doesnt go in, and I have fuck awful recall ^-^;

[dallasurr]

i feel so hurt and upset about Simon he needed to heal too

i can't sleep at night sometimes

I know this is so random but i don't care i feel so hurt by the idea of everyone healing but him dead and bound to be forgetten. .. i want him feel good i want to get him out of there.

I've said this before but as much as I'd like to see the series to its planned end, I'm not that unhappy about not getting season 5. It would be really hard for me to see Amelia get a redemption or her exit when she went on the train as a fully mature adult in her 30s, and did wayyyy worse things than Simon did. Although she was mentally unstable at the time she got on the train, it doesn't seem like she had a history of mental illness before Alrick died.

What Simon did to Grace and Hazel was fucked up, I can wrap my head around his justification for killing Tuba and I'm not the person to debate about this bc I straight up didn't like Tuba. She went out of her way to kidnap and scare Grace and Simon, who would have probably found the exit to the car and went on their way the next day without her interference, and I'm of the opinion that she put both herself and Hazel in danger with her little prank. I know we wouldn't have a story without it, and it doesn't justify her death, but literally from their first interaction she showed Simon she can be hostile and dangerous. And while she warmed up to Grace (according to Grace lol I didn't see much friendly interaction between them at all, just Grace enjoying/admiring the way she interacted with Hazel), Simon always got attitude from her, I can't blame him for not warming up to her.

Simon might have been 18 at the time of his season but let's be honest, both he and Grace were very immature and justifiably so. They only had each other and their delusions for years and years before they became guardians themselves. The train has proven itself to be dangerous, and proved how high the stakes are when he died, but people act like he was a fucking monster for doing what he thought he needed to protect himself, grace and hazel from a perceived threat. He could have been a little more tactful with explaining what happened, or lied about it, but like tbh as a neurodivergent person myself who sees Simon as someone who is on the autism spectrum, I REALLY struggle with lying and deceiving people so I can understand why he just blurted out the truth without any thought.

I do think one of the most irredeemable things he did was dehumanize Grace and trap her in her memories, whether or not he knew it could kill her (I assume he didn't bc the Cat as usual didn't explain shit to him) the way he pushed her over and walks away makes me nauseous.

But I certainly don't think he deserved to die for that, and I think the series would have been a lot better if instead of kicking her off the train again (which at this point in the scene felt kind of slapstick i'm ngl), Simon finally broke out of his paranoid and delusional thought patterns and they were able to drag everyone back into the mall car for a heart to heart.

In my head in episodes 9 and 10 he's a lot like Catra in The Portal episodes, but instead of getting 2 more seasons after his fall from grace (lol) to recover and heal and fix his issues, he just got killed instead.

And it sucks because dude was clearly mentally ill and traumatized, and as someone who has mental illness and trauma that can make me act out sometimes too, who also struggles to read the room and understand what people want from me if they don't tell me directly, who ALSO had parents that didn't have my best interests as even a consideration to whatever they could gain from me, it kind of reinforces my anxiety which tells me that I deserve to suffer because of x y z stupid thing I did or said 5, 10, even 20 years ago.

(and before anyone says simon had all the chances to change and grow that grace did, please rewatch the season, he absolutely did not and all of the events that led to grace growing as a person happened when simon wasn't around, yes he was immature in a lot of moments but dude literally did not have a normal adolescence and to expect him to act like a fucking adult all the time after that is ridiculous)

[luv4byers]

nightmares - w.b.

heyyy! i'm literally listening to revolting children from roald dahl's matilda please don't come at me its an amazing song. i'm also really sick. i stole the van script and put little chips of it in here &lt;333

warnings: will having a nightmare, mentions of death, and my bad writing

pairing: will byers x male reader

word count: 809

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's been a full week. it was all over, and we were sort of alright. after everything that happened, everyones still recovering from it. max is brain dead, her bones are broken, and she's blind. but her heart still beats, thanks to el. poor lucas thinks its his fault. dustin is still sad about eddie's sacrifice, but at least robin was able to take vickie for herself.

but what also worried me was will. jonathan would tell me how will would wake up in a cold sweat, scared that the beasts of the upside down would come back to cause harm to us, especially after dealing with his connections to the upside down.

but, will was visiting hawkins, and he was staying at my place for the night. ms. byers and my mom were best friends, because they graduated together and worked at the same place for a while.

and that's when i met will.

ms. byers, jonathan, and will would come very often to visit us. it was one of the best things that ever happened to me, because will and i grew up to be best friends. we grew up together.

we went through the tragedies of the upside down, getting bullied at school, and dark stormy nights together.

and gosh, i was happy to see him again, without having to deal with the upside down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jonathan, ms byers and will already arrived at our house. "ah joyce! i missed having you just around the corner, and having you at work." my mom said. "and make yourselves at home!".

i hugged will, jonathan, ms. byers, el, and hopper.

"will! i missed you! you'll be staying the night in my room, you can drop your stuff there." we climbed up the steps to my room. "my mom's still setting things up- and talking up a tornado with your mom, it's like they haven't seen each other in several years. it'll take a while, so you can go and change. i bet you had a long day"

"alright y/n, thanks!" he picked up his duffle bag, and entered the bathroom.

he came out of the bathroom. "y/n, sorry to ask, but i forgot to pack a t shirt. i have a sweater but it's a bit warm, do you mind if i borrow one of your shirts?"

"yeah, of course you can."

"thanks y/n."

he straight up pulled his sweater off, and wore my shirt. i had no idea why my face was heating up.

i mentally cursed myself for looking at my best friend like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

we had dinner alongside a great conversation. ms. byers and hopper were gonna occupy the guest bedroom, and ms. wheeler offered to take el and jonathan for the night.

i pulled out my sleeping bag for tonight, and reassured will i was okay sleeping with a sleeping bag.

"are you completely sure you don't wanna sleep on the bed? i mean it's your bed, not mine, so you should sleep on it." will mentioned.

"it's fine, you're the guest here will. besides, it's one night. the sleeping bag won't murder me in my sleep." i responded.

"fine y/n. there's space if you change your mind."

"goodnight, will."

"'night y/n."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i couldn't sleep, due to so many questions flooding my mind, such as:

was it wrong to love my best friend like this?

why did he mesmerize me so much?

but what if it was one-sided? will could choose anyone he wants.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

and i heard will's breathing get heavier, and heavier, until he stirs violently.

"will? will! will, wake up." i whispered loudly.

i shook him gently, which was enough to wake him. "will, are you okay?"

i feel dumb. of course he wasn't okay. "y-yeah i'm fine." i didn't believe him.

"you're not fine. i know it. just take your time, and it's fine if you don't feel like telling me."

i sat on the bed, right next to him, and hugged him. he was shaking. his breathing was unsteady. so i gently whispered in his ear,

"breathe in for 5 seconds, breathe out for 5 seconds. until you start to feel more steady."

i held his hand and he followed, and his breathing became more steady, and he stopped shaking.

"i'm sorry y/n, i've been dealing with this for a while already and i should be able to deal with it myself." he apologized, and for something that he can't control.

"don't apologize will. with experiences like that, it's hard to get it out. no one's gonna hurt you. as long as i'm here, i won't let anything hurt you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"just get on the damn bed and sleep." will whisper-shouted

"fine.." i was spooning will, and fell asleep.

one thing's for sure,

that was one of the best rests i've ever had.

[nonsenseparts]

Probably best to keep scrolling, or alternatively go listen to literally any song from Buckethead's album Colma. It's beautiful. All of it. Heck listen to the whole thing. I'm just here to turn thoughts and feelings to words and maybe practice openness.

Frustrated with how easy my friends make it to figure things out. I would like to be as able to offer the same in return. I feel like I've fallen behind. I want to be a better friend and more of a person.

I want to learn what they know so that my requests for support/guidance feel more substantial, more worthy of their time. I stand by "there's no such thing as a stupid question", and so my guilt points to a sense of emotional self-sabotage with regard to my personal growth. Even now I feel so locked into mental rules I didn't even consciously choose. So were I to be more independently competent as a person, what would I be more independent of? I'd know to ask for help, so it wouldn't be a matter of individualism. It's not about denying myself the right to basic comforts, so it's not about feeling like I deserve less than others, or that nobody should have such comforts. It's not about feeling like a slave to instinct, instinct is valuable and important. I don't have a sense of being watched for errors or sins. It's not even a matter of coping mechanisms, I don't believe I get to employ my coping mechanisms as often or effectively as I would like. It is as though I have decayed, and in doing so ceded ownership of my brain emotional and cognitive sediment, and that sediment has taken on a life of its own. I'm not talking about other identities operating within my brain/mind. It's more like a million tiny remotes from the click movie. Tiny emotions and significances and connections falling to the wayside, throwing errors, failing to get across gaps or accumulate in the recursive cycles that constitute my being. I'm supposed to be starting CBT in a few months. That should have some value here, as should what it encourages me to get done. But aside from that, I don't know. I want to read more. I want to learn more, faster. I want to participate in things whose skills will give me a clearer reflection of my inner workings, the outer world, and the relationship between the two. Meditation, foreign languages, art, singing, programming, math, crochet, physics, animal husbandry, writing. Fervent learning is so core to my identity. I think that's what it is. I've been learning more and more slowly. Even with the medications that felt like breaths of fresh air. And maybe I ought to feel this way, regardless of how engaged I am with learning. Maybe this is what happens when fatigue accumulates. My sleep schedule used to be chaotic, but in a week I used to get a lot more. Now it's 2-4h a night, 6 if I'm lucky, none if I'm unlucky. 8-12 if I'm physically fucked up from exhaustion, and then back to 0-6. My sleep meds increase the quality of my sleep *f I can get it, but the vivid dreams at the cost of needing more emotional self/external care during my waking hours. My adhd meds calm me, and increase my connection to activities if I can start them... focus, stamina, patience, at the cost of needing better sleep and more relaxing downtime. But making the sleep happen? I don't know. I'm becoming less able to take care of myself and participate in my interests and responsibilities, which is increasing my stress levels, which is further impacting my sleep. It's a cycle. My mental health appointments mean missing classes, or having less time to study or relax. I've already dropped half of my interests since starting this semester and cut my social contact in half along with it just to maintain this sliver of a chance of catching up to my peers. I need more rest, a change of pace, and help. The grief of these last few years' losses have been so heavy. I want to be there for my loved ones. As the saying goes, I want to be able to keep people warm without setting myself on fire. Maybe I could catch up at uni if I had a spare two weeks. Maybe I could recover my energy reserves if I had a spare month. Maybe I could be okay if this all wasn't so overwhelming. That's not even getting into my finances. I can't wait those away. I need a real grip on things before this Winter when the Nordic dark months/super short days - I don't want even more cards stacked against my brain chemistry. Some peace shouldn't be too much to ask for.

I'm so tired of the decay. I'm so tired of being tired. I want to feel real again.

[luescris]

Late Night Talks

I am not used to posting my fanfictions here on Tumblr but I think I need to start because AUGH GDGDGD

If y'all can please p l e ase click the link below to read it it'd be really nice to have, but I'll put the story here too just in case augh okay bye

The stars sure were pretty tonight.

All the little twinkling lights to watch, not a single cloud in the sky. The moon bright and big, shining down with it's lesser light but still beautiful all the same. Watching the stars was usually one of his favorite things to do as a pastime; it would put him at ease with a soft smile on his face he didn't know he'd be wearing half the time. Sometimes it'd be on the ground, others way up high in the trees, letting the world go by and lull him to sleep.

But this time, that wasn't the case.

Sonic still watched the stars. But there was no tranquility to it. It didn't bring him peace like it normally would. And he could not–under any circumstances–fall asleep. He could not lay in the grass or trees, there was no smile and peace for him as he simply sat on the ground outside of the Resistance base, in the middle of the night, keeping his distance from every living thing that existed.

And it was all thanks to the Metal Virus that currently spread throughout his body.

He had run most of it off a few hours ago, and had allowed himself at most an hour of sleep before he went running again, and even then only been half asleep, keeping himself aware of his surroundings and body against the cold concrete beneath him. It had been spreading a lot faster recently, which was not a good sign.

Sonic wasn't exactly sure how long it's been since he had been actually able to rest–but he figured it had been at least a good four days now. And he was exhausted.

Running is hard now. He could hardly keep up with conversations sometimes–and those conversations were important, battle strategizing; he hated that he would fall asleep to them standing upright, could hardly keep his balance. He tried his best to make it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal, and it mostly worked. But the bags growing under his eyes were giving him completely away, and because there was nothing he could do about it, he had to deal with it.

It was already hard enough when one of his friends would dismiss him to try to sleep when he'd accidentally dozed in the middle of a meeting. It was hard enough that he had to keep his distance from literally everything. That he couldn't touch someone. Sure, he wasn't big on hugging or anything like that, but he couldn't even sling his arm around anyone anymore; heck, he couldn't even give anyone a high five. He had to deal with people occasionally looking at him with sympathy, or sometimes even caution. Sometimes fear. He didn't miss the way they kept their distance from him as he moved through the crowds. Didn't miss what they whispered about.

It was bad enough he could hardly keep his eyes open, or that he was finding it harder, somehow, to keep his emotions in check. Tails had mentioned to him that it was a symptom of sleep deprivation, but Sonic didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to be awake all the time, he didn't want this stupid virus, he didn't want his friends to worry like they were.

He hated it when people paid attention to him like that. And he hated that it was because of him that they were.

Which was the reason why he was sitting outside that night, watching the sky boredly with a deep frown on his face, having nothing better to do while everyone else got to lay in comfy, warm beds inside. The thought made his fist clench.

Sonic knew he shouldn't resent them; in fact, it wasn't even them that he resented. It wasn't their fault he was stuck like this. And yet, while he never really cared about where he slept, right now the only thing he wanted was to be wrapped in warm, comfy blankets, resting his head on soft, fluffy pillows and to not be disturbed until like. Forever. A tree branch or the grass would even feel better than a slab of brick on his back (which had been slightly sore recently because of his discomfort, but the hedgehog dared not say anything. His friends had enough to worry about as it is).

But because of his– condition, he was stuck where he was. And that's the thing Sonic truly resented, especially now in this moment as he practically glared at the stars, as if it was them who had cursed him to this fate. He had figured he needed some fresh air and time to be alone, but that only made his groggy, jumbled thoughts ever more present. He hated thinking.

First, a whole half of a war I wasn't there for. He grumbled in his thoughts, brows furrowing a bit more at the unwanted memories sitting in the back of his mind, threatening to come out. Now, they have to suffer with this not even weeks after. If I only could have seen that Eggman would return, I could've– They wouldn't be-!

Frustration mounting, Sonic scowled, bringing his curled fist down against the ground to try to quell it with a soft grunt, then dumped his head into his hands with a sigh.

He was only given a moment before his ear turned to the sound of a large door opening slowly, and he raised his head, blinking at the yellow light coming from the doorway as his eyes adjusted. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to find Amy standing there, taking a step forward to let the door close behind her and bathing the world back to uninterrupted darkness.

She wore a soft, small smile, carrying two cups of something steaming in her hands as she walked forward, stopping when getting as close as she dared (which was only a few inches, much closer than anyone else dared to). She lifted a cup, motioning with her head. "Hey. Thought you might want something warm, it's a little chilly out here, heh."

Sonic rose a brow, choosing to completely ignore the beverages for the moment. "How come you aren't asleep? It's in the middle of the night."

Amy returned his look with narrowed eyes, as if to say "really?", but chose not to comment on it as she sighed, sitting right next to him (And he wasn't sure why, but the close proximity made him extremely happy. He hadn't been this close to anyone for way too long). She didn't turn to look at him when she answered. "... Couldn't sleep. I tried, but…"

She shrugged, leaving it at that. The blue hedgehog studied her for a moment, a certain pull of sympathy going her way before he completely bashed it down. He knew exactly what that was like right then, but if he didn't like being sympathized with, then he figured neither would she. He held out his hand, palm up to make sure none of the virus curling over his knuckles, slowly but definitely surely, could touch her. Amy handed him his cup, being careful to use the tips of her fingers on top. He hadn't known just how cold he actually was until the warmth of the liquid inside reached his fingers, and Sonic held it just a bit closer in an attempt to fight off the sudden chill in his body.

"It's not coffee, by the way. I know you don't like that, so I got you hot cocoa. Hope you don't mind."

He smiled, just slightly. "It's fine, Amy. I appreciate it, really. Thanks."

A silence lapsed between them. It wasn't comfortable, but nor was it awkward as Sonic carefully sipped the warm drink in his hands. With the company and current hot liquid running down his throat, he found both to be distractions that he sorely needed right then, and sent gratitude towards the girl next to him; she always seemed to know when to show up at the right times.

In order to break the silence, he cleared his throat, intending to speak, turning to Amy with a smile. "So.. How are you holding up?"

The pink hedgehog met his gaze for a moment, eyes in deep thought, as if trying to hide something. She shrugged nonchalantly once seeming to settle on something, turning away again to stare out into the distance. "About as well as everyone else is. Not really much to say." There was a pause, a brief look down at the ground, before she directed it back to him. "What about you?"

Sonic blinked at the vague response; a response he didn't like very much. He frowned slightly, doing his best to not look as upset as he felt as he placed the mug on the ground, leaning forward slightly. "Amy, seriously. That wasn't a direct answer, and it wasn't about you. I asked how you were, not how you felt compared to everyone else."

Amy chuckled softly, but it sounded almost empty, something Sonic wasn't used to hearing from her at all. "Since when did you suddenly want to start talking about feelings, Mr. 'Run Away From My Problems'?"

There was a lot more spite in her voice for him to take it as a joke, and he felt his heart stab with slight hurt. Where had that come from??

"Well gee, I dunno, maybe I'm just worried for my friends and want to make sure they're okay??" Sonic scoffed, not bothering to hide his own annoyance. He turned away, crossing his arms. "Not like we're in the middle of a pandemic or anything. Sue me for trying, yeesh."

Suddenly, her stare was back on him, wide with slight shock. "O-oh- Sonic no I- I didn't mean- Ugh." She dumped her head in her hands, her own drink sitting next to her leg.

Immediately the blue hedgehog felt his animosity disappear completely with the way she stuttered, once again sympathy eating it away. And he didn't try to fight it this time, watching her solemnly and desperately wishing he could put his hand on her shoulder for comfort. It was utter torture for him to sit there and watch his friends suffer like this and not being able to do anything about it. And yet again, he found himself becoming angry about it, but didn't let it consume him, pushing it aside for later. He'd deal with it later.

Amy sniffled, the sound breaking Sonic's heart, one of her palms wiping under her eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let that out, I just–.." She lifted her head, her eyes slightly glossy, still not turning to him. "I'm tired. But I feel like– I feel like I can't complain about it, b-because so is everyone else. Especially you." She shook her head, sniffing again. "It feels so unfair."

"... It's not though." Sonic found himself muttering after a moment, letting her words hang in the air. He paused,backtracking on his statement. "I mean, yeah, it's unfair that this is happening. But it's not unfair when you need to vent about it, and it's not complaining. I mean," He felt himself get slightly angry at this next thought, but didn't let it show. "You're running the entirety of the Resistance. By yourself. It'd be different if you weren't doing anything, but you more than deserve to 'complain'." He turned away solemnly, staring at the ground. "Can't imagine what it's like being in your situation right now.."

He felt her staring at him for a moment, and in order to distract himself, picked the hot cocoa up from the ground again to take another drink.

"Yeah well," Amy murmured, finally looking away. "I guess that makes two of us."

At that, Sonic waved a hand at her, pulling on his "hero" attitude with a smile that didn't quite reach his voice. "Ah, it's no big deal. Nothin' I haven't dealt with before in the past."

He jumped when the sound of ceramic hitting concrete echoed the next second, and again when the girl next to him hissed, "Why do you do that??"

The male hedgehog turned to look at her incredulously, only to falter at the glare she was giving him. It wasn't one of those "ticked off but in a pouty, cute kind of way". It was a glare, not one of hatred, but of annoyance. One of genuine anger. A look he had not received from her, and it made his insides squirm just a bit.

"... Do… Do what?" He dared to ask, slowly.

"You play off every single problem of yours as if it's not a problem!!" Amy cried now, not yelling or shouting, but it felt like it. "As if it doesn't affect you when it clearly does, clearly has been!! You can't just sit there and pretend that you're okay when we know you're not, Sonic, and I am quite frankly tired of you acting like it!!" Actual, genuine tears filled the corners of her eyes, and though there was still anger, it was coupled with heartbreak and hurt. "Do you have any idea of how much it hurts us when you do that?!! We want to help you, too, but you don't let us because of some– dumb hero code or whatever, but that doesn't exist for us!! You are my hero, you always will be, but you are also my friend!! Do you not trust your own friends?!?!"

"That's ridiculous, of course I do!!" Sonic cried exasperatedly, but didn't get a chance to say much else before she continued on.

"Then why?!?! Why, Sonic the Hedgehog, do you sit there and act like nothing is wrong?!?"

She was crying now. It was hard to see with the dark around them, but not hard to tell. With the way she sniffled, and the tears he could see slowly rolling down her muzzle, her glare piercing right through his very heart. He couldn't stare any longer, looking away, guilt eating him up once again. He wanted to run. But he knew if he did that, it would not fix anything. It would only break the relationship they had slowly begun to build, one he had comfortably found himself enjoying. He couldn't break that. Not when he was so close. To what, he wasn't sure yet, but it was going in a direction he was content with.

Leaving now would ruin everything they've been working towards.

So Sonic swallowed his pride and stayed, twisting the mug in his hand in an attempt to keep himself calm and seated. A thought came to him then, one that made him chuckle ironically and shake his head. "... Just as you said," He murmured eventually. "It makes me a hypocrite, I guess, but.. I didn't want to burden you guys, either. With you running the Resistance, Tails trying to find a cure, Tangle, Silver and Whisper dealing with the refugees.. All I'm really doing is running around so that I don't collapse." His ears lowered in a show of guilt. "Seems a lot less stressful than everyone else, so I didn't think.. It'd bother anyone. I didn't know it'd hurt you though. That.. That wasn't my intention." He turned himself away just a bit further, the corners of his mouth dipping in a frown. "I just wanted to protect you guys, somehow."

Again, there was a long, quiet silence as his words sunk into Amy's mind. He stared into the contents of his mug as he waited for a response. From the corner of his eye she saw her hesitantly reach out, as if wanting to place her hand on his shoulder, but seemed to remember his infection and withdrew it quickly. Sonic closed his eyes and quietly swallowed in an attempt to fight away the sudden yearning of physical contact. At least she hadn't seemed mad anymore, which was good.

".. Sonic, you have been protecting us. To the best of your abilities." She eventually murmured, a hint of longing in her own voice that she desperately seemed to fight away. "We know that right now, you're limited. But you've also been a huge help in saving refugees–this is.. Gonna sound a little morbid, but if you hadn't gotten infected, I don't think we would have been able to save as many people as we have."

The blue speedster gave a quiet huff at that, the smallest hint of a smirk on his face. Leave it up to Amy Rose to find the positives in any situation, whenever he couldn't.

She continued after taking another sip of her coffee. "Plus.. You need to remember that we're heros now, too. You're not the only one that has to carry the whole world on your shoulders, you have a team–always had a team. We can tackle any burdens there are together. So long as you let us."

Sonic finally looked back up at her, meeting her gaze, which held a deep sorrow behind warmth and care. He knew she meant those words from the bottom of her heart, and it's not as if he thought they weren't heros; they more than earned that title with the war, when he had been gone, and even before that. If it weren't for her or Tails, sometimes even Knuckles, he probably wouldn't have been here. Her words struck a chord in his heart, and she met his tired, sad gaze with that same love he would be used to running away from time and time again. This time, however, it spread warmth through his own heart, easing some–not all, but some–of his worries. It was moments like these that reminded him just how much he truly cared for her.

A-and the rest of his friends. Of course.

"Don't you forget that, Sonic the Hedgehog." Amy Rose murmured.

For the first time in a while, he found himself smiling genuinely. "I'll.. I'll try not to. Thanks, Amy." His smile split into a grin. "Again."

The pink hedgehog returned it with a soft, somewhat shy smile of her own. "Anytime."

A terrible, cold shiver ran down the length of his spine suddenly, officially breaking the warm moment, and he looked down at his arm to see the virus spreading over his left back quill. His grin had immediately been replaced with a slightly annoyed frown once realizing he had been sitting in one spot for far too long already, and for once, he really didn't want to leave. What he wouldn't give to be able to sleep right then and there.

He sighed heavily and placed the mug on the ground, close enough for Amy to take it. Standing took an effort he wasn't used to in the least, but he did so, stretching his arms and legs to try to wake himself up before running.

"Well, I guess it's time for me to run this dumb infection off. Again." He grumbled, stretching to the left with his eyes closed. His voice had a robotic undertone to it now, and he hated the sound of it. It wasn't natural, wasn't him. "Been sitting here longer than I should have. But I'll be back in the morning."

"Oh," Rightfully, Amy sounded disappointed, but when he opened his eyes again he found her nodding with an understanding smile. "Alright then. Just.. Be safe. And try to get a nap in before you come back."

Sonic huffed amusedly, rolling his eyes as he stretched out his leg. "Yeah sure. So long as you try to get some sleep in too."

"Oh I'll definitely try alright. Can't guarantee I'll get much, though."

"Yeah well. Sleep is a luxury, try not to take it for granted." He hadn't meant to sound so morbid, but he couldn't help the way it came out. He attempted to play it off, however, turning to Amy with a somewhat apologetic, soft smile. "I'll see you around."

She stood, holding both mugs in her hands, looking as if she wanted to hug him but kept rooted to the spot. She was demonstrating some serious self control as of late, and Sonic couldn't help but to mentally congratulate her for that. "See you." Was her simple, sad response.

With a two-fingered salute and a nod, ignoring the protest of his tired body, Sonic boosted off into the horizon and darkness, the sound of–well, sound–breaking echoing just a few seconds behind him.

He was going to get that three week nap he mentioned earlier once this was all over. Because he knew it was gonna be over. One way or another.

He wasn't about to let the entirety of Mobius suffer like this any longer. Not on his watch.

Just you wait, Amy. He thought, sights set right in front of him as he twisted through the blurred forms of trees. Once this is all over, you'll get the hug you deserve. That I can promise you.

[stellaronhunter-kafka]

copypastas

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I am 33 years old. My house is in the Northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and i am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores,and. I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but i do occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure i get 8 hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, i usually have no problem going to bed until the morning. Just like a baby, i wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who just wants to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning or losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how i deal with society. And i know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if i were to fight i wouldn't lose to anyone.

Roadterra is still an issue.I genuinely do not know what Wish was thinking when he decided to "rework"(actually buff) Confidence. Roadterra already had an insane cleaning ability when it had the pre-"rework" Confidence but now you tell me that whenever it switches in(which it has a good amount of opportunities to) it can much more easily clean/snowball the game? Like yeah sure it has to stay in more but don't forget this satanic doodle is literally Earth/Air(THE BEST STAB combo in any competitive pokemon game) and it has access to incredibly powerful moves(Shatter ,Hit-N-Run to make it be able to run away from its walls and come back later while keeping momentum ,Wing Slash ,Savage Blow ,Earthquake and Nose Dive in the future.) while also having good bulk? This doodle's attack stat might not be the best ,but it can easily ramp up in little time ,becoming much better than the old Confidence .People who've called this a "nerf" don't actually play this game and I genuinely believe that's for the best since the meta will be even MORE dominated by broken Roadterra ,making this game boring and just the same old stupid bird over and over and over again ,flashing my screen as it clicks its overpowered and much more powerful moves.

In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by the member of this group.

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU.

[idledreams4]

this is kinda a weird thing but I can reality shift no problem when I'm fully awake.

Just the other day I was fully shifted to TWD as we were driving home from my grandparents' house. I got REALLY excited to see a plane and when I turned around to point it out to Shane and Lori (this was a shift to like basically precanon. They found me as they were leaving the city, alone and only a little older than Carl, and Lori convinced Shane to take me with them) I got pulled back to reality cause actually that's my parents driving the car and we're leaving Toronto, not Atlanta.

But what I haven't been able to do, no matter how hard I try, is shift in my sleep. I've tried both unscripted and scripted, I've used music, I've tried several different subliminals, some with theta waves, some guided methods. Nothing. Nothing has worked.

Then last night I just go to sleep, not trying to shift to any reality, much less The Walking Dead. If anything I would have expected yet another Supernatural shift

But with zero effort I shifted to the walking dead, which also hasn't happened (low-key started to think I either got overconfident in my ability to survive and got myself killed, or my parents actually dragged me out of town and we all died either to walkers or the government, cause my brain just would not let me go there.)

And as happy as I am, I'm also pissed, because I'm not going to be able to shift back just because I don't know what I did! Like I literally did not do anything!

And I do know that this was an actual shift, not just a random dream, because it continued one of the shifts that I partially scripted. I don't like to script every little detail, I tried when I was getting desperate, but I like to leave room for the story to adapt and change and feel more natural. I don't want to know every little detail of what's going to happen, especially when I'm shifting to TWD.

I'm not quite sure why we went back to the specific script that we did if I'm being honest. Like ok, I'm a savior, great. But there are other realities where I am also a savior but it's before we run into Alexandria. I like those ones better because it means I'm not grieving the loss of several of my friends and comrades, and I'm also not considering siding with Simon on his little rampage to destroy the communities. Hell there are some where I'm a lieutenant myself. Which is a WAY better position to be in. I mean I'll take being a soldier over working for points any day but being a Lieutenant is where it's at y'all. We have it sooo good.

Surprisingly (or maybe not) I don't really enjoy being one of Negan's wives. I say that's surprising because if y'all know me, you know that I want to fuck Negan so bad it makes me look stupid. But I just can't sit in that room all day waiting for him. It actually drives me insane. I love him, I'm the only one in that room who actually loves him, so the others all hated me at first. Tanya still doesn't like me very much, but Sherry has definitely warmed up to me a little bit. Like I am 100% there for the girls, I have zero intention of ratting on them to Negan, but they don't fully trust me and I understand that. The fact I will take every possible opportunity to get out of that room, including sneaking out, did help though. I'm still trying to figure out how Frankie feels about me. I really like her, she's my favorite of the girls, so I hope she likes me too to some degree. I want us to be friends. Obviously I do draw the line at any plots against Negan, THAT I will absolutely be telling him, but I doubt any of them would talk to me about it if they were planning something.

Ah sorry I'm rambling about things that are not totally relevant hahaha

Yeah anyway

Brain did a silly. I'm conflicted about it cause I want to go back but also yay!

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (924): Mon 30th Sep 2024

Man September fucking flew by didn’t it? It felt like literally this week when I was writing about my seasonal depression that comes bang on cue every September 1st and yet here we are a month later already. I sincerely hope the rest of the autumn / winter fucks off this quickly but I think we all know time will drag like a bitch until the sunshine returns. 

Thankfully I got some sleep this time around. I don’t know what the fuck was going on last night where my neck just would not let me drift off but thankfully I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow because I jumped head first onto the pillow which I’d place on top of a brick (I’m going to try to sell that joke to Milton Jones and if he doesn’t want it I’ll try to sell it to Tom Jones then Tommy Lee Jones). After we’d been working for less than an hour this morning the god damn fire alarm went off so we all had to evacuate and gather in the car park. This happened back in January and why the fuck does some fuckwit always decide to have a puff of their vape in the toilets when the weather is shit? This never happens during the hottest day of the summer when there’s a broken down bus full of bikini models who are passing the time until the mechanic gets there with a water balloon fight. We were all stood there for half an hour in the freezing cold and slight drizzle. The managers handed out a couple of those tin foil blankets so the rest of us had to just stand around and imagine we were being burned alive to help cope with the cold. There was one lass who was entirely wrapped in the tin foil blanket and the wind was blowing it all over the place that I swear to god she could have been jerking off in there and no one would have been able to tell (and frankly that would have definitely helped warm her up).