#i would have genuinely liked this better if i had not seen any promotional material.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hey genloss is bad.

[yukiteruakari]

If Leon had lived longer or survived, I believe he would've been one of the main characters in the story.

I usually see promotional materials, such as merchandise, including Sayaka alongside the main trio of THH, despite her death in chapter 1. This is understandable given her early portrayal as the heroine. However, let me explain why it would also make sense for Leon to be included in the main group if the story had focused on him as it did with Sayaka.

Danganronpa often pairs characters with others who complement their themes, forming what I call "narrative partners," whether in duos or trios. This isn't just limited to main characters—most have these connections, though there are exceptions.

Leon's narrative partner is Sayaka. They are designed as complementary opposites, each embodying the game's central theme of "talent" more than any other characters, a theme that wasn't touched upon after their early deaths in the story. Also, Leon's crush on Sayaka, which is evident throughout the Danganronpa series, further ties their stories together. They were also the first characters created, serving as a foundation for the series.

Moreover, Leon shares characteristics with the "best friend" archetype seen in other Danganronpa games, like Kazuichi and Kaito. I would argue that these characters were inspired by Leon, suggesting that if he had survived, he would likely have become close friends with Makoto, potentially forming a trio with Makoto and Sayaka. This is supported by class photos showing them together, hinting at a potential narrative thread that was never explored. This relationship could have added depth to Makoto's character and made his optimism more realistic by showing it develop through genuine friendships, rather than it coming out of seemingly nowhere.

Including Leon and Sayaka in the story would have not only supported Makoto's 'optimistic' character trait through their friendship but also balanced out the stoicism of Kyoko and Byakuya. This balance is necessary, in my opinion, because Makoto often gets overshadowed by the two, who generally aren't very friendly, creating a rather unbalanced group dynamic.

Just as Sayaka relies on intuition and Kyoko depends on logic and facts, Byakuya's uptight and overly serious demeanor would clash with Leon's more light-hearted and playful nature. With Kyoko and Byakuya providing logical perspectives and Sayaka and Leon adding emotional depth and sentimentality, the group dynamics would have become more engaging and interesting, in my opinion.

I would have enjoyed seeing Sayaka and Leon embody the themes of talent, alongside Makoto and Junko symbolizing hope versus despair, with Kyoko representing mystery, thus tying together Danganronpa's main themes, with Byakuya taking on the role of the crucial anti-hero of the story. I also feel that this would have been much better than what we originally got, to be honest.

These are just my thoughts, but I'd love to hear your ideas too.

Oh, and maybe I should note that the official character list for THH goes exactly as follows: Makoto, Sayaka, Leon, Kyoko, and Byakuya. So, I shared an official picture of them together at the top! It makes me really happy.

Thank you for reading. :)

[littlewitchygreen]

The Commercial Witch

This post is a little unlike my others, but it is one that I find interesting and have been wanting to make for a while, if simply to talk about it as more of a think piece. Since I began actively practicing witchcraft, I've been seeing a rise in companies and brands promoting and selling things related to witchcraft, as well as a host of social media influencers making witchy aesthetic posts with elaborate altars and setups. While there is nothing inherently wrong with either of those, it has led to a side effect that I've seen mentioned offhandedly but not really talked about much: the commercialization of witchcraft.

Influence

While I love the aesthetic posts as much as the next witch (both because they are pretty and organized well, and because it sometimes sparks ideas of my own), I don't so much love the implications such posts give about the nature of witchcraft in the modern day.

I've seen many new witches ask what crystals they have to buy, and what plants they should start with, and how to make a grimoire look picture perfect, and where to buy the best tools, and is a drawer full of divination tools enough or do they need more? All perfectly valid and genuine questions for those still learning, that deserve full and honest answers. But I've also seen just as many posts from people wanting to learn witchcraft that lament that they could never afford it, and that is where the problem I feel lies.

Posts from witchcraft influencers and those who simply like the aesthetic and are not actual witches imply through what they show that it is the things that make the witch rather than the person themself - and that the only way to harness magical ability is through items rather than practice and skill. So, not knowing any better, new witches pick up on that and believe the same.

To be clear: material goods are not a problem. If dozens of tarot decks make you happy, go ahead. If collecting crystals adds value to your practice, do so. If you find a box full of A-Z herbs useful, absolutely get it! My problem comes with the fact that none of these collections are necessary to becoming a witch, and it is often presented as such. The earliest witches we have records of did not have access to the wide range of spices and herbs we do. They did not have crystals, minerals, and stones from around the world to harness energy. They often did not have libraries of books to learn from - and likely, many would not have been able to read even if they did. They (usually) did not have specially made tools for their craft. They used what was available, they used what they knew and made and grew themselves, they learned from each other or practice or observation, and they used items that they already owned.

And so can we.

Capitalism and Witchcraft

As the other half of this topic, the relationship between capitalism and witchcraft is also concerning to me for a variety of reasons. I have noticed an increase in regular stores selling witchcraft goods in kits and little box sets and the like, and upon inspecting them, most are... inadequate, at the least. Generally, they are either very surface-level or very appropriative - neither of which should be something we should be thrilled about.

From selling white sage for 'smudging' and a cheap tarot deck in Sephora's Starter Witch Kit to TJ Maxx selling herb kits, mini mortars and pestles, and cheap divination decks as a Halloween gimmick, large companies are trying to cash in on the renewed interest in witchcraft. The increase in interest itself is not offensive - many witches I know appreciate the more open acceptance of a practice many of us have had to keep hidden for fear of judgment and safety. However, with large brands treating it like a trend without doing research or marketing it appropriately, it can cause harm.

I made a post recently about cultural appropriation in witchcraft, and two of the signs of appropriation are lacking respect for a practice and commercializing it. Large brands marketing things like tarot decks as fun games to play with your friends ignores the rich historical and cultural context attached to the cards, as well as the spiritual significance they take on for many readers. By giving surface-level books on how to read them, or failing to provide books at all, they encourage a lack of knowledge in the subject - another red flag for appropriation. By selling herb kits for 'smudging' containing things like white sage or palo santo, they are taking from closed practices and traditions that were often made illegal to those from whom they originated (yet another red flag), and teaching newcomers to as well.

This isn't to say a new witch cannot buy their first items from brands like this - many do not have the option of locally sourcing their materials from small businesses that put in the work to sell items respectfully, as these are still often far and in between. There may also be safety reasons or other reasons why they are unable to acquire tools in any other way, and my intent is not to pass judgment on those who do for whatever reason. My intent is to urge new witches to look beyond the surface of what these companies present, and to critique the companies for selling these items the way they do to begin with.

Some of these companies have removed their items due to backlash - as Sephora did with their kit - while others simply do not care. And, there is nothing we as individuals can do to stop the companies from trying, without organized collective action; and I do not believe our communities are at a place where that effort can be made in earnest just yet, though hopefully in the future they will be.

Moving Forward

So, from where I stand, it is up to us as consumers of both media and materials to think critically about what we are consuming. Whether that be questioning assumptions we make based on what we see online, or questioning the ethics of what we are purchasing and where it comes from.

Our lines will look different depending on where we are, what we practice, and the resources available to us. All I urge people to do is to do what they can to be intentional in their choices, and that if consuming from large companies and social media to put in the work to deepen the surface-level understanding they offer and grow on your own.

[whateverthedragonswant]

Part 2: there was a lot GA scoffing at the idea of Sansa’s political acumen but this scene really shows how clever and skilled she is and it’s not recognised as such. She sussed out Dany’s true feeling on Jon, that she’s a hypocrite and not a liberator only seeking peoples freedom, that the iron throne is her one goal. Sansa figured out in one conversation what Jon took weeks to figure out on Dragonstone and Tyrion and Varys even longer. Sansa clocked it in like a day. True Queen material there

I don't know if this was connected to the previous ask or not but I apologize if not.

The GA really didn't get Sansa's character and I blame D&D for that quite a bit. They tried to bait people to watch by promoting some huge power struggle about to take place between Sansa and Jon, now that he's been made KitN, right before season 7 aired, knowing full well that Jon was a fan favorite. They even had the actors themselves doing their dirty work for them while promoting the new season. So that already planted the seed in several minds of Sansa doesn't want Jon to be King and she's Littlefinger 2.0 and all that stupid bullshit. And they did it not only to get people to come back for the new season but also to get the audience to expect something that they could subvert, which had become their MO at that point. Even though Sansa told Jon and the audience that she's not looking to undermine him, and telling their siblings how much she can't wait for him to come back in so many words, they still spend the whole season trying to convince everyone that Littlefinger is playing her, she wants to be Queen, and she's waiting to betray Jon at any moment she can. So this way in 7x07 they could have the student surpass the teacher and go 'Ha ha' to the audience when Sansa executes Littlefinger. Subvert, subvert, subvert!

And as if that wasn't enough to prove Sansa's political acumen to the GA, to show that she actually has some smarts (in case they missed it all season, from KL as a matter of fact), they not only (purposely) missed the things you mentioned in 8x02, but that she did the exact same thing she did in 7x07 with Littlefinger when she sussed him out. His goal was the IT with her at his side (him really just wanting to use her to get the North). Dany's goal is also the IT and she doesn't intend to let the North go. So not only did Sansa see Cersei-like qualities in 8x01 but now she's seeing Littlefinger-like qualities in 8x02. Which is cemented in 8x04 when Dany pulls the Gendry move. I truly believe had Littlefinger survived, Dany would have executed him eventually because I don't believe she would have been fooled. I think she would've seen right through him. But that's a post for another day.

But yeah, it's a shame the GA discounts the brilliance and talent for political strategy that Sansa was displaying those last two seasons. It was right there in front of their faces but as usual, they purposely ignored it (well, most of them did, some people didn't genuinely see it and that's where my blaming D&D comes in because viewers shouldn't have to do a Rubik's cube to figure out a character and their true motivations, thinking process, and actions) and some brilliant moments for her character and some brilliant writing actually got missed (dismissed). Which I believe does somewhat of a disservice to Dany and Cersei too because they shared that brilliance as well despite any wrong choices they may have made. Cersei miscalculated when it came to Dany and went past a line she couldn't come back from and Dany miscalculated that everyone would want her new world and she crossed a line she couldn't come back from. They both wanted power for different reasons. As we know, Sansa didn't want power, only freedom and the ability to keep her family and herself safe. So it made sense that she was the only Queen in the end and not of the 7K

Like you said, true Queen material right there. I wish more people could gain a better understanding of her character and appreciate the brilliant woman she actually is.

[puppercupboard]

I was going to leave my say on the current state of things with regards to MW3 and it's ending (major spoilers ahead) to one post but i am notoriously bad at keeping my mouth shut so like....

let me preface this that i am not telling you that you have to comply with canon. i am not a cop. if you want to make an au where soap lives go ahead. my friends and i already have. this is just a vent post and i don't expect anyone to give a shit what i have to say.

but genuinely the response that i've seen from some of the ghoap shippers with regards to his death? it's giving.... complete tone-deafness and total unfamiliarity with the characters that they are proclaiming to love.

which i suppose shouldn't be too surprising, considering that i have seen people admitting to not engaging with the source material because it's military propaganda (and it is!) and saying they don't want to promote it... as people who are creators for the ship. The ship that has been one of the biggest driving forces for funneling new people into the fandom. y'know. the fandom for the military propaganda game.

the number of people i've seen people say that they've only watched soap's death scene in one sentence and then say it was done for shock value in the next. that it came out of nowhere. that it had no reason to happen. as if there isn't foreshadowing to it sprinkled through the entire game... it boggles my fucking mind. like. i cannot imagine skipping to the climax of a book and complaining about how it didn't make any sense and had no emotional impact.

which is another thing, cause like. i have absolutely seen people complain that the death wasn't emotional enough. straight up seen people say that it would be better ghost should have been crying and screaming and cradling soap to him. ghost... yall gonna act as if ghost, who is present basically from the moment that we see him in MW2 as closed off and guarded and unshakable no matter the violence happening around him.... rushing to soap's side to check on him the instant that the active threat was gone and kneeling in a pool of soap's blood so shaken up that he couldn't help with anything, couldn't talk and could barely move..... is not an emotional reaction?

like... for real, yall have lost the plot so bad. saw someone go full on "we deserve a soft epilogue" with the ship as a response to the ending and that is genuinely fucking hilarious(derogatory). like... none of these men want one. soap went down swinging. soap went down saving the life of his friend. soap got a quick death in a fight to prevent countless civilian casualties. that was the best case scenario for him.

yall are acting like this isn't a military game about a special operations group made of war criminals in a franchise that has never once hesitate to kill off characters. they did not kill off soap because of homophobia. they did not kill off soap because they don't like ghoap and want you to stop shipping. they killed off soap because killing off soap made sense.

you can cry about it all you want but when you go complaining about how they killed off the blorbo you adopted based on his appearance from a series who's canon you don't actually engage with. and talking about how now that he's dead you're never going to even ACKNOWLEDGE the canon going forward........ bestie take off the fucking blinders, what you are holding in your hands is an OC.

[burnwater13]

Bounties R US

“Hey, what vid is that?” Ta’lan asked the Mandalorian, looking over his shoulder. 

Whatever it was Din and Grogu were enthralled.

“It’s a new promotion from ‘Bounties R Us’, Grogu wanted to know where I got some of my equipment.” 

His reply was distracted. She could see why as soon as she looked at the vid. A Weequay was taking them on a tour of a huge warehouse of goods and equipment. Ta’lan leaned forward to get a better look, but both Din and Grogu grumbled at her as her braids fell forward and blocked their view. 

If she wasn’t mistaken, the Weequay was Hondo Ohnaka. Stars! Why would he be pitching this junk as appropriate Bounty Hunting gear… 

Grogu was fascinated. This was the most amazing place he’d ever seen. He wished his dad had the immersive goggles for this sort of vid, but they’d never bothered with stuff like that. Not even for Diggle and Daggle. But this, this vid needed them. 

He wanted to smell the musty, kind of dusty smells he was sure filled the huge warehouse. The racks of stored materials and displays looked so real. He wanted to touch them and he knew that the only way they could do that is to actually go to the Bounty Hunters Superstore, Bounties R Us.

They had armor, slightly used, but refurbished, except for that one beat up cuirass that looked like a mudhorn had trampled it. They had bandoliers, holsters, scabbards, quivers, pouches, containers, holders, and everything else you could use to hold a weapon. And they had weapons of every type imaginable and in every size.

Grogu wondered if they had a lightsaber in his size. He knew they existed. At least one of them did. If there was one there was probably another one. Considering how often Master Obi-Wan lost things, they probably had a whole crate of lightsabers of varying sizes. That would be cool. 

As the vid played they watched Hondo talk about the clothing on hand. Again all of it had seen some sort of field use, but it had all been carefully refurbished, cleaned, repaired, and when ever possible the body of the prior hunter had been removed. Apparently there were times you couldn’t get every bit out. Grogu was both fascinated and disgusted and fascinated again.

Then they reached the ‘self-help’ section. So many vids, leaflets, and even a few custom data pads. The vid focused on some of their most popular titles. “Bounty Hunting on 50 credits a Day” which Din snorted at. “So now you’ve caught your fugitive…” which Ta’lan laughed at. Finally, “The Idiot’s Array to Bounty Hunting… Gambling your way to Better Bounties”.  Grogu liked that one. He was very good at Sabaac. He probably could have produced that vid if he had any time on his hands and if he’d ever done any bounty hunting. 

Now Hondo was showing them the specialty equipment. He loved the net launchers. They looked great. The contraption you used to launch them was bigger than Grogu, but still the concept was workable. Then there was the inflatable life raft for when your ship didn’t have enough room for the fugitive. That would be handy when they used the N-1. And finally, Hondo showed off the entry level carbonite chamber. It was huge. Grogu wondered what kind of ship you might need to carry that. Ta’lan replied ‘Dreadnaught’. Grogu didn’t think that was funny, but his dad was laughing pretty hard at her comment. Harumph. 

“Now, friends, what I have to show you right here and right now is something so amazing, so special, so spectacular, that only Hondo Ohnaka could bring it to you. Lucky for you I am Hondo Ohnaka! It’s genuine, custom made, pure beskar armor. Made by a Mandalorian Armorer before the Purge! This is a unique piece for a unique Bounty Hunter. Not anyone can wear armor like… Hey! Stop it! Who are you? You’re interrupting me… Ouch! Quit it! No I do not want to be brought in cold!” 

Grogu was disappointed that the vid abruptly stopped at that point. 

His dad was leaning back and laughing and Ta’lan was just shaking her head. 

“Is that what you and Laac were doing last week? Is that why I have a new suit of armor cluttering up the hold?” Ta’lan was both amused and annoyed, Grogu could tell. 

He just wished that his dad had brought back that net thrower. He was pretty sure that he needed one.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi. I’m curious. What did you mean by “women who read fiction might get Bad Ideas!!!” has just reached its latest and stupidest form via tumblr purity culture.? I haven’t seen any of this but I’m new to tumblr.

Oh man. You really want to get me into trouble on, like, my first day back, don’t you?

Pretty much all of this has been explained elsewhere by people much smarter than me, so this isn’t necessarily going to say anything new, but I’ll do my best to synthesize and summarize it. As ever, it comes with the caveat that it is my personal interpretation, and is not intended as the be-all, end-all. You’ll definitely run across it if you spend any time on Tumblr (or social media in general, including Twitter, and any other fandom-related spaces). This will get long.

In short: in the nineteenth century, when Gothic/romantic literature became popular and women were increasingly able to read these kinds of novels for fun, there was an attendant moral panic over whether they, with their weak female brains, would be able to distinguish fiction from reality, and that they might start making immoral or inappropriate choices in their real life as a result. Obviously, there was a huge sexist and misogynistic component to this, and it would be nice to write it off entirely as just hysterical Victorian pearl-clutching, but that feeds into the “lol people in the past were all much stupider than we are today” kind of historical fallacy that I often and vigorously shut down. (Honestly, I’m not sure how anyone can ever write the “omg medieval people believed such weird things about medicine!” nonsense again after what we’ve gone through with COVID, but that is a whole other rant.) The thinking ran that women shouldn’t read novels for fear of corrupting their impressionable brains, or if they had to read novels at all, they should only be the Right Ones: i.e., those that came with a side of heavy-handed and explicit moralizing so that they wouldn’t be tempted to transgress. Of course, books trying to hammer their readers over the head with their Moral Point aren’t often much fun to read, and that’s not the point of fiction anyway. Or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Fast-forward to today, and the entire generation of young, otherwise well-meaning people who have come to believe that being a moral person involves only consuming the “right” kind of fictional content, and being outrageously mean to strangers on the internet who do not agree with that choice. There are a lot of factors contributing to this. First, the advent of social media and being subject to the judgment of people across the world at all times has made it imperative that you demonstrate the “right” opinions to fit in with your peer-group, and on fandom websites, that often falls into a twisted, hyper-critical, so-called “progressivism” that diligently knows all the social justice buzzwords, but has trouble applying them in nuance, context, and complicated real life. To some extent, this obviously is not a bad thing. People need to be critical of the media they engage with, to know what narratives the creator(s) are promoting, the tropes they are using, the conclusions that they are supporting, and to be able to recognize and push back against genuinely harmful content when it is produced – and this distinction is critical – by professional mainstream creators. Amateur, individual fan content is another kettle of fish. There is a difference between critiquing a professional creator (though social media has also made it incredibly easy to atrociously abuse them) and attacking your fellow fan and peer, who is on the exact same footing as you as a consumer of that content.

Obviously, again, this doesn’t mean that you can’t call out people who are engaging in actually toxic or abusive behavior, fans or otherwise. But certain segments of Tumblr culture have drained both those words (along with “gaslighting”) of almost all critical meaning, until they’re applied indiscriminately to “any fictional content that I don’t like, don’t agree with, or which doesn’t seem to model healthy behavior in real life” and “anyone who likes or engages with this content.” Somewhere along the line, a reactionary mindset has been formed in which the only fictional narratives or relationships are those which would be “acceptable” in real life, to which I say…. what? If I only wanted real life, I would watch the news and only read non-fiction. Once again, the underlying fear, even if it’s framed in different terms, is that the people (often women) enjoying this content can’t be trusted to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and if they like “problematic” fictional content, they will proceed to seek it out in their real life and personal relationships. And this is just… not true.

As I said above, critical media studies and thoughtful consumption of entertainment are both great things! There have been some great metas written on, say, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and how it is increasingly relying on villains who have outwardly admirable motives (see: the Flag Smashers in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier) who are then stigmatized by their anti-social, violent behavior and attacks on innocent people, which is bad even as the heroes also rely on violence to achieve their ends. This is a clever way to acknowledge social anxieties – to say that people who identify with the Flag Smashers are right, to an extent, but then the instant they cross the line into violence, they’re upsetting the status quo and need to be put down by the heroes. I watched TFATWS and obviously enjoyed it. I have gone on a Marvel re-watching binge recently as well. I like the MCU! I like the characters and the madcap sci-fi adventures! But I can also recognize it as a flawed piece of media that I don’t have to accept whole-cloth, and to be able to criticize some of the ancillary messages that come with it. It doesn’t have to be black and white.

When it comes to shipping, moreover, the toxic culture of “my ship is better than your ship because it’s Better in Real Life” ™ is both well-known and in my opinion, exhausting and pointless. As also noted, the whole point of fiction is that it allows us to create and experience realities that we don’t always want in real life. I certainly enjoy plenty of things in fiction that I would definitely not want in reality: apocalyptic space operas, violent adventures, and yes, garbage men. A large number of my ships over the years have been labeled “unhealthy” for one reason or another, presumably because they don’t adhere to the stereotype of the coffee-shop AU where there’s no tension and nobody ever makes mistakes or is allowed to have serious flaws. And I’m not even bagging on coffee-shop AUs! Some people want to remove characters from a violent situation and give them that fluff and release from the nonstop trauma that TV writers merrily inflict on them without ever thinking about the consequences. Fanfiction often focuses on the psychology and healing of characters who have been through too much, and since that’s something we can all relate to right now, it’s a very powerful exercise. As a transformative and interpretive tool, fanfic is pretty awesome.

The problem, again, comes when people think that fic/fandom can only be used in this way, and that going the other direction, and exploring darker or complicated or messy dynamics and relationships, is morally bad. As has been said before: shipping is not activism. You don’t get brownie points for only having “healthy” ships (and just my personal opinion as a queer person, these often tend to be heterosexual white ships engaging in notably heteronormative behavior) and only supporting behavior in fiction that you think is acceptable in real life. As we’ve said, there is a systematic problem in identifying what that is. Ironically, for people worried about Women Getting Ideas by confusing fiction and reality, they’re doing the same thing, and treating fiction like reality. Fiction is fiction. Nobody actually dies. Nobody actually gets hurt. These people are not real. We need to normalize the idea of characters as figments of a creator’s imagination, not actual people with their own agency. They exist as they are written, and by the choice of people whose motives can be scrutinized and questioned, but they themselves are not real. Nor do characters reflect the author’s personal views. Period.

This feeds into the fact that the internet, and fandom culture, is not intended as a “safe space” in the sense that no questionable or triggering content can ever be posted. Archive of Our Own, with its reams of scrupulous tagging and requests for you to explicitly click and confirm that you are of age to see M or E-rated content, is a constant target of the purity cultists for hosting fictional material that they see as “immoral.” But it repeatedly, unmistakably, directly asks you for your consent to see this material, and if you then act unfairly victimized, well… that’s on you. You agreed to look at this, and there are very few cases where you didn’t know what it entailed. Fandom involves adults creating contents for adults, and while teenagers and younger people can and do participate, they need to understand this fact, rather than expecting everything to be a PG Disney movie.

When I do write my “dark” ships with garbage men, moreover, they always involve a lot of the man being an idiot, being bluntly called out for an idiot, and learning healthier patterns of behavior, which is one of the fundamental patterns of romance novels. But they also involve an element of the woman realizing that societal standards are, in fact, bullshit, and she can go feral every so often, as a treat. But even if I wrote them another way, that would still be okay! There are plenty of ships and dynamics that I don’t care for and don’t express in my fic and fandom writing, but that doesn’t mean I seek out the people who do like them and reprimand them for it. I know plenty of people who use fiction, including dark fiction, in a cathartic way to process real-life trauma, and that’s exactly the role – one of them, at least – that fiction needs to be able to fulfill. It would be terribly boring and limited if we were only ever allowed to write about Real Life and nothing else. It needs to be complicated, dark, escapist, unreal, twisted, and whatever else. This means absolutely zilch about what the consumers of this fiction believe, act, or do in their real lives.

Once more, I do note the misogyny underlying this. Nobody, after all, seems to care what kind of books or fictional narratives men read, and there’s no reflection on whether this is teaching them unhealthy patterns of behavior, or whether it predicts how they’ll act in real life. (There was some of that with the “do video games cause mass shootings?”, but it was a straw man to distract from the actual issues of toxic masculinity and gun culture.) Certain kinds of fiction, especially historical fiction, romance novels, and fanfic, are intensely gendered and viewed as being “women’s fiction” and therefore hyper-criticized, while nobody’s asking if all the macho-man potboiler military-intrigue tough-guy stereotypical “men’s fiction” is teaching them bad things. So the panic about whether your average woman on the internet is reading dark fanfic with an Unhealthy Ship (zomgz) is, in my opinion, misguided at best, and actively destructive at worst.

[helloalycia]

lose you [two] // leigh shaw

summary: following her kiss with you, Leigh begins to act unfairly towards you and says something she instantly regrets.

warning/s: none i don't think?

author's note: only one more part after this! hope you’re all liking it, and if you’re not an elizabeth fan, i’ve got a kara danvers two parter coming up after this so stay tuned! also the lena imagine part three one is still in the works, so don’t worry, i haven’t neglected it!

part one | part three | masterlist | wattpad

Leigh had ghosted me before. She'd done it on and off throughout the first six months following her husband's death, unable to maintain contact when she barely had energy for herself. And I was patient, always, because that's what she needed. But this was different.

Her absence in my life was nothing to do with her grief, but rather the kiss she gave me the day I decided to take her out. It just had to be that, otherwise she was merely being ignorant and I knew she wasn't that harsh without reason.

Whenever I texted or called her, it wasn't with the intention of talking about what happened. She hadn't brought it up and I didn't want to pressure her into speaking about it, especially if it was a mistake (which, selfishly, I hoped it wasn't). I just wanted to hang out with her like we used to, but she was giving me blunt responses or claiming she was busy. It was like she was doing her utmost best to push me away and I couldn't take it anymore.

After about two weeks, she simply stopped responding to my texts. Her 'busy' life was keeping her from even acknowledging my contact and that was when I couldn't put up with it any longer. This wasn't about grieving or needing space, this was about her avoiding me for something she did.

On my day off, I headed over to Beautiful Beast, Leigh's mother's fitness studio where she worked. When I arrived, Jules was sat at the front desk, wiggling a pencil before her eyes distractedly.

"You look like you're real hard at work there, Jules," I commented playfully, smiling at her as she paid me attention.

"I was testing out that whole rubber pencil trick," she said nonchalantly.

"And your conclusion?" I asked, leaning against the front desk.

She couldn't help but smile. "It's pretty cool."

I chuckled at how cute she was. "Good to know."

"So," she began, leaning back in her seat. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was hoping you could tell me if Leigh is in? I feel like I haven't seen her in a while."

Jules was about to respond, then her eyes fell behind me and she smiled. "Speak of the devil... there's your answer, Y/N."

I followed her gaze and realised the class that was going on in the studio had ended, with students leaving tired but happy. Leigh trailed out after them, using a sweat towel to wipe her face and push the loose strands of hair from her ponytail out of her face. She approached the desk, but upon spotting me, seemed surprised.

"Y/N," she said, rounding the desk to stand beside Jules. "You're here. Hi."

She was casual, unbothered by the fact that she'd clearly been ignoring me the past few weeks. I decided not to question it, instead offering her a small, awkward smile.

"Hey," I greeted with a nod. "I was hoping to catch you. Are you, er, busy?"

She avoided my eyes as she lowered her sweat towel, now grabbing her water bottle from the desk and busying herself with it.

"I mean, I've got class in an hour," she said with a shake of her head.

"Perfect. Maybe we can grab lunch and talk?" I asked, not giving her chance to decline since there was no reason to.

She furrowed her brows, feigning confusion. "Talk? About...?"

I pursed my lips, raising a brow with disbelief. She was seriously going to play it like this? Judging from the absent stare she was sending my way, she was. So, I glanced at Jules, who was back to distracting herself with her pencil and barely paying attention to what we were talking about, before looking back to Leigh.

"About things...?" I settled on, knowing she'd know what I meant. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

Leigh scrunched her nose, shrugging apologetically. "I'm sorry, I'd love to, but I'm going to be practicing for my next class. Maybe not today."

I kissed my teeth with annoyance. "Hm. Okay, sure. Good luck with your class, I guess."

Rolling my eyes, fed up at her pretence, I said a quick goodbye to a half-listening Jules and left them both to it. I'd like to think Leigh would come to her senses and contact me, but maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, it was certainly not thinking for now, so I tried not to let it bother me for the time being.

—

Waiting on Leigh to make first contact was probably not the brightest idea, since I was sure if it was up to her, she'd just ghost me forever. But I was stubborn and I wanted to make a point (clearly not a very good one since she still proceeded to ignore me...), so another week passed without speaking to one another.

The only reason I went over to her house one evening was because Jules asked for my help with something. Since I was a graphic designer, she'd asked me to help design the promotional material for this new set of classes she wanted to start at work. Of course I said yes – in the many years I'd befriended Leigh, I'd also befriended Jules. I was happy to help, even if it meant awkwardly bumping into Leigh.

When I arrived, I was greeted by Leigh and Jules' mum before being led to the dining-room with Jules to help her. I tried to hide the fact that I was subtly searching for Leigh around the house, genuinely wanting to make sure she was okay despite the radio silence on her end, when Jules seemed to notice.

"She's not here," she said, making me look to her, embarrassed I'd been caught out. "She's on some date."

I raised my eyebrows, nodding. "Oh. Cool."

It shouldn't have bothered me – Leigh had been on a handful of dates in the past month, attempting to move on – but it did. Maybe it was because I foolishly thought our kiss meant something to her, since she initiated it. Clearly not, since she was already moving on. It didn't help that she couldn't just act normal with me if it meant nothing to her. No time for her best friend but time for dates with random people? Not cool.

"Did something happen with you two?" Jules asked whilst starting up her laptop.

I hid my panic with confusion. "What do you mean? Did she, er, say something?"

Jules shook her head, leaning on the palm of her hand as she glanced at me. "No, nothing. I just thought I'd ask since I haven't seen you around with her lately. Thought maybe you'd fallen out or something."

So she hadn't told her sister what happened. Maybe she really did want to forget about it.

"No, she's just been busy I guess," I mumbled in response, before pulling my memory card out my bag. "Forget that anyway. Let's see what we can do with your promo stuff, huh?"

Leigh long-forgotten, I showed Jules the designs I'd come up with for her banners and posters, which she was super excited about, and got to work. We mocked up some promotional material for her to get printed soon and she talked me through what she had in the works which was adorable since it was great to see her invested in everything. She'd come a long way from rehab and it was refreshing to witness.

We snacked so much whilst working that by the time I finished, I knew I wouldn't need to eat dinner. Jules' mum offered, but we were stuffed and it was getting late.

"If you need anything else, just let me know," I told Jules as I grabbed my bag to leave. "If you want anything changing, also let me know."

She gave me a thumbs up and a grin. "You got it, chief. Thanks again. I know you have an actual job to do an–"

"Don't do that," I stopped her with an amused smile. "I'm always happy to help you out."

She nodded appreciatively. "Well, thanks. I'll let you go."

I waved goodbye to her before shouting a goodbye to her mum and heading to the door, letting myself out. Only, when I opened the door, I squealed awkwardly upon seeing Leigh making out with some random guy on the porch. The uncontrollable noise that escaped my lips was enough to pull them apart with a start.

"Y/N," Leigh got out with shock, wiping her mouth and clearing her throat. "What are you– what?"

Still dumbfounded, I swallowed hard and looked away. "I– er– sorry to interrupt. I'm just gonna– mhm."

Closing the front door behind me, I quickly walked around the pair and began to leave, trying not to let my surprise, hurt and irritation build up inside of me. It wasn't my business if she kissed somebody else. It was her life – she could do whatever she wanted.

"Wait, Y/N!" I heard her call and winced at the sound.

Pretending not to hear her, I picked up my pace and finally made it to my parked car, fumbling for my keys in my bag under the dimly-lit streetlamp.

"Y/N, wait up!" she called again, and I risked looking up to see her approaching my car quickly, eventually stopping by my side.

Now that I had a better look, I saw that she was dressed up beautifully for her date, wearing a black dress that accentuated her curves and high heels that dared anybody not to stare. Though, when I met her gaze, I saw her ruined red lipstick and was reminded of the stranger she'd just been making out with.

"It's cool, I'm sorry," I repeated, shaking my head and wishing I could feel my keys in my bag already. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's not like that," she said breathlessly, holding her jacket and watching me carefully.

Finally finding my keys, I pulled them out and unlocked my car. "Not like what?" I asked, glancing at her with a tight jaw. "You can go on dates, Leigh. It's not my business."

Her expression softened. "Then why are angry?"

"I'm not angry," I said, before realising it was a little more hostile than I intended. "Look, forget it. Just enjoy your stupid date. I've got to go."

Before I could open the door, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back, eyes darkened with annoyance.

"What's your problem?" she asked impatiently.

I shook her off me and widened my eyes with disbelief. "Are you serious right now? You followed me!"

"Yeah, because you're clearly pissed at something!" she snapped, crossing her arms. "What's your problem?"

For once, I wasn't going to put up with her bullshit mood swings. It wasn't fair how she was treating me and I was going to do something about it.

"You're my problem, Leigh," I admitted with a glare. "I've been waiting for you to call or text or make some freakin' effort to acknowledge my existence, but as usual, nothing. And then to top it all off, I find out you're on some date when you can't even find a spare second to text your best friend that you're okay!"

She scoffed. "Sorry I have a life, Y/N."

Clenching my jaw, I pushed down the anger that was bubbling up inside. She looked so smug, like she'd done absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario, and it was pissing me off.

"You know what? Never mind," I gave up, releasing a shaky breath. "You clearly don't get it."

I tried to move around her and get into the driver's seat of the car, but she groaned loudly with petulance.

"Why the hell were you even here anyway?!" she asked, like she had the right to. "Couldn't you leave me alone for one night?"

I tried not to laugh. "Don't flatter yourself, love. If you'd actually bothered to talk to me, you'd know I was here to help Jules with her posters."

"Sorry that I thought that you couldn't leave me alone for two minutes," she said with a bitter smile. "It's like you don't even know how to function without me in your life."

I clenched my fists with frustration. "Wow, Leigh, big-headed much?"

She laughed dryly, shaking her head. "I kiss you once and now you won't leave me the hell alone!"

Leigh and I had been in so many arguments before this one – it's like they were inevitable with her – but I'd put up with them. I'd let her yell and call me names and treat me like shit because I knew she didn't mean it, it was a heat of the moment thing. But something was different this time. Her words stung a lot more than they should have, especially when they were delivered by somebody I thought I was in love with.

I unclenched my fists and scowled at her. "Go fuck yourself."

Not bothering to wait for her response, I ignored the way her expression changed into one of regret and guilt. I ignored her as she tried to tell me to wait. And I ignored her as her she knocked on my window when I got into the car. I didn't spare her a glance as I drove away, feeling tears prick the corner of my eyes.

Leigh Shaw could be such a bitch sometimes.

—

"Y/N, you've got a–"

"Whatever it is, I'll sort it," I reassured my new assistant. Ever since my promotion, it felt strange to have somebody work for me, but I was slowly getting used to. "Go have your break, Taylor! You've not moved from this seat all day."

Taylor smiled bashfully but nodded. "Okay. Thanks a lot."

I gave her a reassuring smile as I watched her leave. I'd just finished a long meeting with a client and couldn't wait to get to my office and procrastinate for a bit before getting on with some work. Only, when I opened the door, I was surprised to find someone sat in the seat in front of my desk. Maybe that's what Taylor was trying to tell me. 

"Hello, can I help you?" I called politely, closing the door and stepping inside.

"I like the new digs."

I froze, smile fading when the stranger stood up and turned around. It was Leigh and I wasn't sure how she'd gotten here, but I wasn't dealing with her right now.

it had been a few days since we'd argued and she'd been trying to get in touch, but I completely blocked her number. It wasn't a permanent decision, but rather a temporary solution to a problem I wasn't in the headspace to deal with right now.

Every time I thought about Leigh or what she'd said, I felt so angry and fed up. She had no right to treat me how she did or make me feel like this when it was her fault. Blocking her was the easiest bet until I decided how to deal with everything. Clearly she hadn't gotten the hint though, since she was waiting for me in my office.

"How did you get in here?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying not to roll my eyes at the stupid smile on her face.

"Your new assistant let me in," she said as I headed to my desk, before adding comically, "She definitely has a crush on you by the way."

I narrowed my eyes at her from across the desk. "You need to leave."

Her humour disappeared, as did her smile, when she met my gaze with remorseful eyes. "I just want to talk."

I shook my head, looking down. "No, this isn't the place for this. And I've heard everything you had to say, Leigh."

"Y/N, please," she pleaded, stepping forward. "I want to apologise."

With a stern stare, I said, "Go."

"Please, just hear me–"

"No!" I erupted with anger, making her jump at the volume of my voice. "You don't get to do this! Not now, not here!" Swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to hide the hurt in my voice, I nodded to the door. "Just get out. After all, I wouldn't want you thinking I'm obsessed with you."

She pressed her lips together and looked down to her fumbling hands with guilt. It was quiet, though the air between us screamed with unspoken words. I hated this so much, the arguing, the anger, the resentment. But I wasn't giving in this time. She'd gone too far and she had to learn that her actions had consequences. She couldn't just get away with it. She had to respect my space.

"I'm sorry," she said gently, looking up with a genuine expression.

I clenched my jaw and said nothing as I waited for her to leave. Finally, she pursed her lips before turning around and going. When the door closed behind her, I let out a breath and sank into my chair, feeling exhausted at the short conversation. I wasn't ready to talk to her yet and I wished she'd just respect that.

Following that, I made sure to tell Taylor when she came back from her break to not let Leigh into my office until further notice. Or rather, not let her upstairs until further notice. She wasn't allowed to bother me in my workplace just because she felt bad.

Of course, not letting her in only meant I received more calls. Especially since I blocked her number, so she deemed it appropriate to call my work phone. Every time Taylor came into my office to let me know it was Leigh, I had to tell her to tell Leigh I was busy and end the call. And the times when I wasn't there, I had several messages from Leigh to reply to. It got to a point where I had to temporarily block her number from work, too. It was the only way to have some space without completely flipping out on Leigh.

One day though, Leigh decided to pay me a visit. She was resilient, I'd give her that much.

Taylor asked me what I wanted for lunch when I said I was in the mood to go out and eat and she could join me if she wanted to. She agreed and we both made our way to the bottom floor before leaving the building. But then I saw Leigh hovering about outside the front door, approaching me as soon as she spotted me.

Already rolling my eyes, I tried to sidestep her, but she was adamant on being a pain in my arse.

"Leave me alone, Leigh," I told her tiredly.

"They won't let me in and you've been avoiding my calls," she said, a little peeved. "What were you expecting?" Her eyes flickered to Taylor, who seemed awkwardly stuck between our bickering. Rather rudely, she asked, "Can I help you?"

Taylor didn't know what to say as I glared at Leigh harshly.

"Don't be a bitch just because you're pissed at me," I insulted, before looking Taylor apologetically. "D'you think you can give us a minute, Taylor? This won't take long."

Taylor nodded, glancing between Leigh and I. Leigh had her arms crossed, focusing a hard stare on Taylor as she walked away. When she was out of earshot, I lightly poked Leigh in the shoulder to get her attention.

"That's not fair," I muttered angrily. "She didn't do anything to you."

Leigh glanced towards her again before looking to me questioningly. "Where are you even going with her?"

I squinted at her judgementally. "If you must know, we're getting lunch. It's that time of the day in case you couldn't tell."

Leigh uncrossed her arms and straightened up. "So, what? This is a date?"

I furrowed my brows. "What? No! What are you–?" I glared at her. "This is none of your business!"

"Well, if it's not, you're definitely gonna give her the wrong impression," Leigh stated with a shrug. "She has a crush on you. Is that even allowed since you're her superior an' all?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration, before meeting her spiteful green stare.

"If you came here to give me your unsolicited opinions, I don't want them," I said under my breath, making sure passers-by on the street couldn't hear us. "Now, leave me alone."

Her spite dispersed and was replaced with guilt. "Wait, no, I–"

"No, Leigh," I told her firmly, eyes silently pleading for her to give me some space. "You have to stop this."

Green eyes searched mine desperately, but I didn't have time for this, so I left her standing there as I rejoined Taylor and hoped lunch would help me forget about Leigh and her impatience.

"Sorry about that," I said to Taylor when I rejoined her side.

Taylor smiled reassuringly as we began to walk. "It's okay, don't worry about it." It was quiet, before she spoke up again. "Do you mind if I say something a little out of place?"

I looked to her curiously. "Er, sure?"

"I obviously don't know the specifics of what happened between you and your girlfriend, but–"

"Girlfriend?" I interrupted with raised brows. "Taylor, Leigh and I– we aren't–"

She seemed to catch on, eyes wide with embarrassment. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I just thought– well, she's very persistent and I thought that maybe you were together and in a lover's spout or something."

Heat crept up my neck as I loosened my collar. "No, nothing like that. She's just a friend."

Breathing out, Taylor said, "Oh. Well, I mean, I guess my advice still applies. She seems to really care about you."

I snorted. "She has a funny way of showing it."

Taylor smiled. "I know. My boyfriend is the same. We once had an argument and he did the same thing your Leigh is doing. Wouldn't stop bothering me. At home. At work. I let my stubbornness get to me and didn't want to hear him out."

I pursed my lips, glancing at her. "What did you do?"

She laughed like it was obvious. "I heard him out."

That didn't sound like an option for me right now.

"She doesn't respect my personal space," I explained to Taylor, glad to have someone to vent to. "She did some... hurtful things. I'm not making it easy for her."

"Clearly," Taylor noted with amusement. "Look, that's just my experience. But all I'm saying is that your friend Leigh seems to care about you a lot. To the point that she'd glare daggers at your very unavailable assistant."

Goddamn Leigh and her ability to embarrass me even when she wasn't here.

"Thanks, Taylor," I said appreciatively. "I'll have a think about it."

She nodded knowingly. "Anytime."

I definitely wasn’t ready to hear Leigh out yet, I knew that much.

[yamayuandadu]

A hidden world that never was: witch cults, matriarchal prehistory and contemporary conspiracy theories

As regular readers of this blog might already know, a particular woe of my online activity over the course of the past year were constant reminders that discussion of history, mythology and religion online is often dominated by dubious, outdated or outright fraudulent claims. Worst of all, this is generally not the result of misguided theories which seemed sound when they were first formulated – there were plenty of these in the history of modern historiography after all, as eventually many research methods are replaced by even better ones (even these of 19th archaeologists whose ideals are not completely baffling to us often relied on excavation methods which would rightfully shock everyone if employed today), and more and more blanks in our understanding of the past are filled. For example, it used to be unclear to researchers if classical Maya predate the Olmec due to insufficient material, while the importance of the Hittite civilization in the ancient Middle East was severely underestimated due to scarcity of discoveries prior to the last 100 years or so. Even properly identifying all the trading partners of well known ancient civilizations with a large corpus of primary sources, such as Sumer or Egypt, can be described as a long, arduous and arguably still ongoing process, with many mistaken assumptions made in the past. The claims which I will attempt to describe here - the so-called witch cult hypothesis, as well as its close relatives, the claims about universal matriarchal religion (the “myth of matriarchal prehistory,” as Cynthia Eller called it) and the foundations of certain new religious movements – cannot be simply described as examples of these, though. As I will demonstrate, they're simply pseudohistory, firmly entrenched in a modern phenomenon which can be referred to as “conspirituality.”

Our journey through the world of historical misinformation begins in the 18th century. The age of enlightenment largely put an end to a fixture of earlier european history, the witch hunts, and historians started to present them as an abuse of power by the church and senseless, baseless violence, while the people who perished in them started to be rightfully seen as innocent victims claimed by what was essentially a historical equivalent of phenomena such as satanic panic, NWO/reptilian conspiracy theories or the sadly very politically relevant at the moment Qanon movement. Modern researchers, especially Norman Cohn, pointed out that there was also a strong antisemitic component to many witch trials, and even the terms used appear to often intentionally demonize or mock Judaism, and reports of the purported witches' activities often mirror the medieval blood libel, rather than any known descriptions of religions of antiquity. Cohn also notes that adapting the idea that witch hunts were linked to blood libel and similar accusations does make for a coherent chronology, while the various “witch cult” and “pagan survival” theories have a glaring issue – they seldom answer any questions about events taking place during the entire time period between the adoption of christianity and times in which witch hunts occurred, different for individual countries. 19th century sadly changed the approach to the history of witch hunts – as the new philosophical movements born in that era aimed to often undermine or subvert the age of reason and its accomplishments (flawed as they were, obviously), the consensus on the past witch hunts likewise started to be challenged. A number of figures regarded as very conservative back then, let alone by modern standards, like Karl Ernst Jarcke, a fanatical monarchist, started advancing the idea that witch hunts were a war waged by the church and its righteous supporters on a nefarious cult, similar to the secret societies common in conspiracy theories advanced by his peers. As the 19th century was also the time when nationalism in the modern sense was born, the theories of Jarcke and his followers had a notably xenophobic flair to them – the “witch cult” was introduced to Germany by slaves and other undesirables, who based it on the religion of ancient Greece, and especially Hecate worship (read: on medieval christian criticisms of it – I debunked some claims present here as well in my Hecate article from last year; also note the idea of Hecate being the goddess of a “pan-european witchcraft cult” remains popular with modern neopagans and wiccans, despite its nefarious origin and inaccuracy) and aimed to overthrow rightful authority of the monarchs and the Catholic church (this was also meant to serve as a rather blunt attack on their liberal contemporaries, presented as godless and anarchic). Similar claims were also advanced in England by Karl Pearson, a mathematician and eugenicist who for some reason decided to dabble in pseudohistory. His notable claim was that Joan of Arc was a priestess of a hidden, malevolent “matriarchal religion” - an accusation so outlandish it would likely even shock her earlier accusers, and one of the few pieces of pseudohistory discussed here I haven't seen adapted by any modern purveyors of it.

While Jarcke  is the earliest figure I opted to bring up here, the one whom I'd actually consider worthy of being referred to a the father of the discussed network of puzzling hoaxes and misconceptions was Charles Godfrey Leland, a late 19th century American author. While seemingly a relatively progressive person for his time in some regards (he was an abolitionist – not a high bar, though), he had no real issue with altering, falsifying and entirely fabricating claims (or even artifacts) and publishing them as result of genuine fieldwork. His “impressive” accomplishments include altering a number of Algonquian tales he published as genuine oral tradition merely compiled and translated by him. His aim was seemingly to provide evidence for an outlandish theory that the beliefs and religious practices of the people forming the historical Wabanaki Confederation were derived from Vikings, an example of the ignoble tradition present in early American scholarship aiming to strip indigenous peoples of their history and accomplishments (its main legacy is the so-called “mound builder myth”). His another particularly harmful contribution was the fabrication known as “Aradia, or the Gospel of the Witches,” which he presented as a genuine religious text shared with him by a purported informant in Italy, who was herself a witch. Needless to say neither the work itself nor even the informant appear to be real, and “Aradia” is quite clearly an attempt to sell similar lies as these formed by Jarcke and his ilk to a new audience. Leland wasn't the first to attempt that –  famous French historian Jules Michelet tried to put a progressive spin on witch cult conspiracy theories over 30 years earlier (rather puzzling decision, considering he was the exact kind of person Jarcke reviled and equated with his made up satanic conspiracy – a lifelong secular and republican activist) – but he was the first to present his work as anything other than speculation, and the first whose work gained widespread attention (Michelet's witch-related ventures were treated as an oddity disconnected from the rest of his career). “Aradia” presents a fanciful account of a hidden society of witches venerating the eponymous “Aradia,” a daughter of Diana and Lucifer (sic). Leland claimed that the rituals described in the book probably are a remnant of Etruscan religion, at the time barely researched and still somewhat mysterious today; however the book also claims that Aradia was a medieval figure involved in the struggle between feudal peasants and local landowners – consistency is not its strongest suit. The author also chaotically speculated about his own claims, providing us with such smash hits as equating the biblical Herodias with largely extrabiblical Lilith. There are many well documented instances of religious syncretism in antiquity, some of them even involving historical or semi-historical figures, but none line particularly well with these made by Leland. Rather importantly, none of his claims line up particularly well with the medieval accounts related to purported witchcraft, or any confessions obtained during witch trials. None of them fit with archaeological records, either. They do line rather well with what one could expect from a 19th century hoax prepared by someone with only a vague sense of dedication to uncovering historical truth, though. To a a modern reader claims such as the existence of entire networks of “heathen villages” in Italy are easy to recognize as belonging to the 19th century tradition of “noble savage” literature. Similar ideas were further developed by Margaret Murray from the 1910s onward. Murray made history as the first woman to teach Egyptology professionally in Britain, and was an accomplished archaeologist, but her expertise in one field doesn't exactly balance the fact that ultimately most of her academic work was centered on pursuing increasingly puzzling lies and promoting them to the general public from a position of scholarly authority. Like some of the figures discussed in earlier sections of this article, she claimed that well known accounts of witch hunts were in fact the persecution of a “pan-european religion,” a claim which raises many red flags for anyone even vaguely familiar with history of ancient religions. A particularly heinous aspect of Murray's work was dismissing the fact that many aspects of witch-related texts, including the fact their gatherings were referred to as “sabbaths,” were simply rooted in antisemitism – it's virtually impossible to deny it, considering sometimes even the term “synagogue” was used as well. In her writing there was room for a large scale organized religion unknown to historians, but there was no room for even just attempting to address a very real legacy of religious intolerance. Instead, she created fanciful etymologies for terms blatantly intended to demonize Judaism to disconnect them from their very real legacy of still socially relevant hate. Note this is not something that was only noted in very recent times – Norman Cohn, who was the first author to write extensively about the similarities between religious persecution in ancient Rome, medieval witch hunts, blood libel and totalitarian purges was almost Murray's contemporary! A concept invented by Murray which gained particularly wide recognition among all sorts of fans of dubious claims was the idea of “horned god.” Using disconnected, inconclusive evidence, she claimed that every single horned male figure from every single system of beliefs – Pan, Amon, the Minotaur and other Minoan depictions of bulls, the “master of animals” seals recovered from various Indus Valley Civilization sites, Cerunnos and more – represent a single figure, which was also the central god of her made up witch religion. Naturally, the deities in mention aren't really connected with each other, and fulfilled very different roles in very different societies and time periods. It is possible to make some generalizations about different gods and point out certain archetypes do repeat quite often across mythologies – for example many middle eastern mythologies featured a warlike goddess often with femme fatale characteristics, there are examples of unruly storm gods fighting dragons in a wide variety of cultures, plague-repelling gods serving as afterlife officials are widespread in east Asia, and so on. However, any claims about universal deities worshiped all over the world from the neolithic to present times are nothing but hyperdiffusionism, a long discredited pseudohistorical theory seeking to find a common origin for a given aspect of many cultures. Murray's later followers for some reason ignore some notable aspects of her creed – the firm belief a race of fairies inhabited Britain and shared the faith of the witches, but eventually went extinct, the notion that some English kings died as ritual sacrifices, and the claim Joan of Arc was a witch and adherent of the religion she claimed to “research”. I feel like it's very important to underline that to Murray the existence of fairies and gnomes was more plausible than the existence of religious prejudice still widespread among her contemporaries, which tells you a lot about what sort of person she was. Due to limited interest in relevant topics among more credible historians, Murray's views went unchallenged, and she even managed to secure a spot for them on the pages of Encyclopedia Britannica – her confabulations were only removed in the 1960s, after the damage was done. Murray's baffling works inspired many further writers. Among them, a particularly notable example was Robert Graves – while his main interests and theories differed from Murray's, he was undeniably inspired by her idea of “forbidden” religious remnants and universal deities going back to the stone age. He also embraced the idea of a hidden witch cult existing in England in historical times, though unlike Murray he saw it as matriarchal. Graves was a poet and writer by trade, and for all intents and purposes pretty successful one at that – it's probably his writing style to which the lasting popularity of his works can be attributed. Sadly, their worth as texts about history of religion is dubious at best. The core idea behind Graves' writing was the existence of an universal goddess figure possessing three aspects, which he usually referred to as virgin, mother and crone, though he was not very consistent about it. This figure, in his mind, united the legacy of ancient Greece and Celts and their art (he did not address the much more significant similarities between the culture of ancient Greeks and their eastern neighbors, though – sorry, Carians, Phrygians, Phoenicians etc., you're not cool enough for mr. Graves). He further spread these ideas with his retellings of Greek myth published in the 1950s. A particularly prominent victim of Graves' theories was Hecate, whose modern popular perception was shaped largely by him and later writers who embraced him, and not by historical sources. It's worth noting that Graves' goddess theory was likely in part a way to essentially “mythologize” his encounters with his many lovers, and thus provide a religious justification for having multiple “muses” (some of them teenage) – at least one of them was appalled by this. He notably claimed that contacts with the “triple goddess” were the only source of “true” poetry, and thus she and her many guises were the ultimate muse. It's rather notable that there was pretty clearly no room for female artists in his vision, even though he claimed it to be a celebration of femininity – women were presumably meant to be inspiration, but not authors themselves. Graves' vision of the ideal world was so matriarchal it looped back into being grotesquely misogynistic. While I can think of a few positive things to say about Leland (committed union supporter and abolitionist), Murray (genuinely accomplished archaeologist before she sacrificed her career on the altar of pseudohistory) and even Graves (seemingly entertaining writer – if only he admitted basically all his works are fantasy perhaps he could be remembered as a Tolkien-like figure!), I fail to see a single positive thing about the next person whose legacy I will discuss, Gerald Gardener. His moral conduit was questionable at best, he claimed to possess degrees from universities which did not exist, and his work was nothing but layer upon layer of fiction. Gardener was even more of a disciple of Murray than Graves – indeed, he even knew her personally. He took her theories to the logical extreme, by basically making them into religious dogma – the new religious movement of wicca. While he claimed to merely present what he learned from a “surviving coven” of genuine witches, the inconsistent nature of his writing, his participation in fringe esoteric movements long before his “discovery” and the fact he relied mostly on sources like Murray's books, Leland's “Aradia” and the works of Aleister Crowley are evident, and make it easy to disregard all of his statements as pure fiction. It doesn't exactly help his case that he kept revealing new fragments of purportedly ancient doctrine as he saw fit merely to gain the upper hand in arguments between him and his fellow practitioners of invented religion, claiming them to be law. He adopted Murray's horned god, but elevated his consort to the rank of a full blown divinity, something not found in Murray's writing. His arguably most notable successor was Doreen Valiente. Her main contribution to wicca was forming a new version of the Charge of the Goddess, a prayer or hymn to the “great mother” - a composite wiccan entity similar to Graves' triple goddess (and outright conflated with the latter by some wiccans and other neopagans – as far as I can tell the first to do so was a contemporary of Gardener, Robert Cochrance, who claimed the term is “genuine” rather than an invention of a 20th century writer...). Both Gardener's and Valiente's versions of it and other, newer ones are responsible for spreading false information forcing various disconnected goddesses into the “great mother” or “mother earth” mold. Particularly grating examples include Hecate, who was described by Greeks as a virgin goddess and Inanna, Ishtar and Astarte who were at times associated with sensual love or even fertility (the extent of that has been sometimes overestimated in the past, though – a specific myth depicting a figure as seductive is not quite the same as an association with fertility in religious worship) but were not mother goddesses in any meaning of this term.

A notable episode from Valiente's life was her participation in a neonazi movement, specifically in the organizations National Front and Northern League. The association between nazism and conspirituality of the sort discussed here wasn't new – indeed, at least some nazi officials showed interest in investigating it in hopes of constructing a “truly aryan” religion, so it should come as no surprise that early wiccans likewise often had far right sympathies. Ultimately an argument can be made that the entire field is basically a hyper-conservative fantasy, which I will discuss more later. Sadly, despite her far right sympathies, Valiente remained a celebrated figure in certain circles focused on intentionally obscuring history for the rest of her life, and she can be arguably credited with making wicca into the global phenomenon it is now. It's also worth noting that while some contemporary neopagans sneer at followers of, say, ufo-oriented new age groups, Valiente and her peers embraced that as well, and Atlantis and ley lines feature prominently in her writing. Valiente was also well aware that much of Gardener's writing was completely made up (or plagiarized –  for example from a Rudyard Kipling poem of all things), even his grimoire, “Book of Shadows” - instead of exposing it she aimed to “improve” his works and continue the hoax. As a side note, it should be said that some other pioneers of wicca were likewise people of dubious moral character – while not a neonazi, Alex Sanders stole from and defecated in a library, for example. However, the history of this specific brand of pseudohistory doesn't end here! While in the 1960s and 1970s the theories of Graves and Murray were debunked over and over again by credible, experienced scholars, a brand new type of pseudohistorical ideas arose, influenced in part by works like Graves' “White Goddess” - the so-called “goddess movement.” However, while it definitely has Graves' fingerprints all over it, it would be doing my readers a disservice not to introduce its other component – the philosophy devised by TERFs. Of course, everyone on this site is vaguely familiar with this movement – back when we were teenagers, all of us probably had the protective BYF scripture listing this acronym among groups meant to stay away somewhere on our blogs. However, few people fully comprehend how utterly incomprehensible to a normal person TERF beliefs are. Mary Daly, the original “TERF theologian” of sorts (a catholic theologian btw – in case if you're curious how come that you reasonably often hear about TERFs allying with religious fundies...), had a basically cult-like view of reality and society, akin to some sort of feminist extreme gnosticism – a false world existed, and a real world within had to be revealed. The “false” world, material reality, was referred to her as “necrophiliac” and the way to reveal the true world within required de facto genocide, or at the very least purchasing her book containing made up “rituals” meant to unlock secret potential within. Supposedly, this would restore some nonexistent primordial matriarchy, and give women back the ability to procreate through parthenogenesis (no, really). This is obviously similar to the doctrine of a millenarian cult, which I feel needs to be discussed more, though this is not the time and place for it. Being a TERF (arguably the original one), Daly naturally also had many charming things to say about trans people, for example comparing transition to the deeds of doctor Frankenstein and in a weird act of projection presenting transition as a cultic behavior. As a small digression I feel like it's worth noting that in sharp contrast with Daly, the inventor of sex reassignment surgery and arguably father of modern LGBT activism as a whole, Magnus Hirschfeld, was a kind, rational man, whose meticulously researched writing was centered on bringing up historical examples of LGBT people, as well as positive experiences of his patients achieved thanks to his revolutionary work, to argue for tolerance and equal treatment in society. Sadly he's just a forgotten piece of historical trivia, while the ravings of Daly and her followers and derivatives keep influencing generation upon generation of teenagers.. Anyway, back to the goddess movement – from incomprehensible spiritual ideals like these of Daly, mixed with the writing of Graves and with some wiccan influence, the idea of “primordial matriarchal religion” arose. As history likes to repeat itself, once again a formerly credible and accomplished archaeologist opted to sacrifice prominent position in a genuine field for study to instead pursue mirages – enter 1950s bronze age research superstar Marija Gimbutas. Gimbutas was undisputably a very talented archaeologist, and her findings greatly enhanced our knowledge about neolithic and bronze age Europe. However, her interpretation of own finds leaves much to be desired, and today is often honored more by neopagans and charlatans than by historians and archaeologists. She argued that Europe was once a realm of peaceful, matrilineal and economically just societies worshiping an universal mother goddess, whom she eventually started to describe in terms borrowed from Graves' books, adapting even his idea of three forms. She claimed this idyllic reality ended with the “Kurgan invasion” from the eurasian steppe, which “tainted” Europe with warfare, patriarchy and indo-european languages (based on archaeological finds it is hard to say if people speaking indo-european languages started appearing in Europe and the Middle East gradually or not and there's evidence of warfare long before the bronze age and the arrival of steppe-based nomads in Europe, and burials do not support the notion of an universal matriarchal – or as Gimbutas argued, “egalitarian” - society; it's also called into question if every archaic female statuette is a cult object). Today it is evident that  at least some of her work was a severe case of seeing what she wanted to see in the past, rather than what actually was there. Personally I do not see Gimbutas as a malicious figure, unlike most of the other people I brought up in this article, though it is evident she responded to criticism and newer evidence not by revising her theories, but by turning them into what essentially constituted self-parody (despite claiming she merely believed the neolithic cultures of Europe were lacking hierarchy and thus perfectly equal, she basically embraced Graves' rhetoric, as I noted before), and as such much of her work aged poorly and is mostly lauded by people with questionable ideas today, as I already pointed out. Some of them allege that any criticism leveled at her amounts to a nefarious conspiracy. It's important to mention that while Gimbutas was for the most part simply a misguided scholar who took criticism poorly in her final years (not an uncommon sight), some offshots of the goddess movement have nothing to do with genuine study of the past, but stay more than true to their TERF legacy, especially the so-called “dianic wicca” of Zsuzsanna Budapest, characterised as such even by other wiccans, who usually defend even the most questionable aspects of their movement (such as, well, falsifying history). This is a feature, not a bug. The idea of the “myth of matriarchal prehistory” espoused by the goddess movement was thoroughly debunked in the early 2000s by Cynthia Eller in her book of the same title. She correctly presents the goddess movement as the product of dubious scholarship seeking to produce an all-encompassing philosophy, and notes that the goddess myth is at best an “ennobling lie” - a concept formed by the philosopher Kwame A. Appiah (probably my favorite contemporary writer) – essentially, a founding myth meant to provide some group with dignity or enforcing positive values. Appiah argues in favor of maintaing some ennobling lies on a case by case basis. Eller argues in favor of rejection of this specific ennobling lie, considering pseudohistory a burden to feminism, rendering its ideals easy to dismiss. She also notes many foundations of the goddess movement simply consistute poor research practises – veneration of female figures didn't necessarily translate to equal treatment of living women, while interpreting every ancient work of art as a cult object is an antiquated idea.

Sadly, Eller's publication is obscure (I only stumbled upon it myself because I saw it mentioned in relation to Appiah's ennobling lie concept), while another work influenced by the goddess movement appears to be held in high esteem by users of goodreads, amazon, and many other sites connected in some capacity to literature, and as a result influences online perception of history of religion to a considerable degree – Barbara G. Walker's “The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets.” Walker wrote about knitting before deciding the world needs her bizarre conspiratorial rehashing of basically all the bizarre ideas described in the previous sections of the article – she also added a plenty of weird ideas of her own. A particularly funny example of a misconception popular in the discussed circles and spread further by Walker are attempts to present the myth of Marduk and Tiamat as triumph of patriarchal forces over an earlier mother goddess – Enuma Elish was hardly an old myth by the standards of ancient Mesopotamia, and it was based on earlier tales, in which the equivalents of Tiamat – Yam, Illuyanka etc. - are male, and often act disrespectful towards both male and female authorities. It does tell us a lot about Babylon, of coure– as it morphed from city-state to an empire, Marduk absorbed traits of many gods, including the dragon-slaying ones; but there's no hidden matriarchy to uncover there, and Tiamat is absent from earlier texts and from any which are not derived from the Enuma Elish itself. Funnily enough this bizarre approach to Tiamat was also lauded by a person from a completely different ideological movement, online demagogue and self help guru Jordan Peterson. I actually tried to make it through Walker's book, and while it wasn't the most soul-crushing experience I can think of (out of the authors I mentioned here, Daly easily wins in that category), the bizarre stupidity of some entries almost made me wonder if it's a joke of some sort. Some choice tidbits to my knowledge unique to Walker's writing include describing sufism as “tantric goddess worship,” arguing Amaterasu's name contains a made up universal term for motherhood, claiming Japanese imperial house only became patrilineal in the Kamakura period, and asserting Ahriman was an actively worshiped deity from which the “power” of zoroastrian magi was derived. Walter also appears to have a peculiar obsession with describing mixing menstrual blood with wine and other beverages and consumption of such mixtures (that's her explanation for every mythical drink or potion...) – the frequency with which this motif shows up in her confabulations almost made me think of these deviantart galleries filled with poorly edited screencaps of cartoon characters engaging in some bizarrely specific uncanny activity. There's plenty of footnotes in “Woman's encyclopedia,” which might give it an air of authority, but it's easy to see many of the sources are themselves dubious (Graves, Murray and friends), or don't actually confirm what Walter claims they do. Where does this book's popularity come from, considering the fact it's blatantly wrong and it's not hard to notice if you have even just a passing interest in history of religion? Probably from the way it's advertised – this is sadly a problem with much pseudohistorical data: it's cynically sold to people as “exciting,” “forbidden knowledge,” “declassified secrets” and so on. This is partially why they became such a huge part of the modern world – lies often have great PR. How does all of this tie to the currently politically relevant extremist movements? This might not seem obvious at first, but the link is direct. Pseudohistory by design makes one more susceptible to other similarly shaky ideas, and the movements whose history I described here on top of that often appeal to, or even intentionally reach out to, demographics generally not fond of “conventional” conspiracy theories, associated with militias, nazis or christian fundamentalists – to lgbt teenagers, suburban essential oils enthusiast moms, instagram yoga instructors, tech startup hipsters et cetera. As the news demonstrated for the past few months, these demographics too are susceptible to certain aspects of present day doomsday conspiracy cults, eg. Qanon: the Wayfair conspiracy was spread largely by teenagers on tiktok; many Qanon marches, often with overt anti-vaccine messaging, attracted politically moderate stay at home suburban moms; extremism researcher Marc-André Argentino coined the term “pastel Qanon” to refer to this phenomenon. Generally speaking, many people who embrace Qanon were already believers in conspiracy theories before – nephilim, NESARA/GESARA, blood libel, Rothschild conspiracies, new chronology, ancient aliens and more; the demographics which only started to show up in spaces related to the aforementioned doomsday cults seemingly lack connections to such theories most of the time, barring maybe ancient aliens, but I propose that what makes it easy for Q ideas to reach them is widespread acceptance of various “hidden religion” pseudohistorical ideas in even rather progressive circles – this too is “conspirituality” which ultimately feeds the conspiracy monster. Note that the anti vax movement didn't spread just among extremist evangelicals, but also among adherents of various alternative spiritual paths – simply put, among wiccan hippies and similar demographics; and currently, based on research of conspiracy experts, anti-vaxers are almost synonymous with Q adherents. Many articles were also written about the spread of such conspiracies in various “wellness” or yoga communities, which often also feature elements drawn from authors I discussed in the earlier parts of this article. As a matter of fact, at least two people involved in violent incidents come from “wellness” or “alternative spirituality” circles: the “Q shaman” you most likely saw in photos from the recent assault on the American Capitol, and a less known extremist: Attila Hildmann, a German celebrity vegan chef, wellness guru... and also, as of late, neonazi, anti-vax activist and Qanon influencer. A few months ago, Hildmann, whose first name was arguably prophetic, called for destruction of a variety of artifacts held in Berlin's museums as connected to nefarious forces present in Q mythos – some 70 pieces, ranging from ancient Egyptian art to contemporary paintings were defaced, though thankfully no lasting damage was seemingly done. Worth noting that Hildmann appears to also be a believer in a certain prominent strain of pseudohistory centered on the Canaanite storm god Baal Hadad – I will discuss it in detail in my next longer post, stay tuned. What binds together all sorts of pseudohistory – both the genre of it I debunk here and the more “classic” sort – is the belief in a hidden, usually primordial, world to which the initiated few have access, which grants them superior understanding to that possessed by normies. The truths offered by this world are unchanging and an ancient relic, revealed long ago and preserved, rather than developed  – therefore progress and modernity are an enemy, and so is the scientific method. This is naturally an atithesis of how cultures actually function – as demonstrated by Kwame Anthony Appiah, cultures consist out of change - therefore “conspirituality” is an anti-culture of sorts, actively pushing its adherents towards more and more false beliefs, and ultimately sometimes towards actual doomsday cults. A good example of this, outide of the aforementioned Qanon phenomena, is the fact that many adherents of ideas dicussed in this article gleefully embrace lies sourced from XIXth century extremist protestants, like the notion that Easter is derived from Ishtar, an etymologically incoherent argument advanced by fanatically anti-catholic pamphlet “The two Babylons.” I sadly see no easy solution to this problem. The rise of currently prominent version of conspirituality was in no small part spearheaded by social media algorithms and sensationalist tv shows like Ancient Aliens, and it's hard to offer an alternative to them to people who are simply interested in history and religion, as false ideas are often providing copious amounts of material for free, while genuine research is hidden behind paywalls difficult to afford even for some institutions, let alone individual private citizens. I am merely a hobbyist sharing what I find interesting myself to show that real history is always more fascinating than nefarious conspiracies aiming to replace it, but without coordinated large scale effort it seems impossible to emerge victorious in the battle against them. Naturally, that doesn't mean trying is pointless, and I plan to continue for the foreseeable future. Further reading:

Europe's Inner Demons: An Enquiry Inspired by the Great Witch-Hunt by Norman Cohn

The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory: Why An Invented Past Will Not Give Women a Future by Cynthia Eller

Jason Colavito's blog

Conspiracy theories debunkers and extremist ideologies researchers on twitter: Mike Rothschild, Marc-André Argentino, Amarnath Amarasingam, Travis View, Mark Pitcavage

Coverage of the Berlin museum attacks: BBC, The Guardian, DW, Artnet News

[otnesse]

Commentary on Peace Walker’s lionization of Che Guevara

Well, guys, as I promised earlier, I’m going to do coverage on a particularly infamous aspect of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and quite frankly if you ask me, one of its worst elements. Sorry for the delay, didn’t realize that Peace Walker was actually released on April 29 in Japan and not the 30th. I’m basically going to cover the game’s lionization of Che Guevara in the various briefing files, and in particular Big Boss and Kazuhira Miller’s lionizing of that monster. For a bit of background, Peace Walker was the second canon PSP entry into the Metal Gear series, after Portable Ops (yes, Portable Ops is in fact canon, and if you ask me was a superior game to Peace Walker in terms of story and characterizations at least, but I digress…). The game has some controversial elements, namely it being very overtly anti-American even by its usual standards, not to mention pushing left-wing values to a far greater degree. One of these values is in the blatant promotion of Che Guevara in the briefing files (in the main story itself, ie, strictly going by the actual missions you undergo, the Che love was at least limited to the Sandinistas and to Vladimir Zadornov, with it being left ambiguous as to whether Snake and Miller actually were fond of him, and while you could argue that the Sandinistas’ sympathetic portrayal could point toward a promotion, Zadornov’s promotion was definitely meant to be a negative since he was planning on having Big Boss reenact Che’s well deserved execution after successfully changing Peace Walker’s target to Cuba in a disinformation op. The Briefing Files, however, aside from obviously Amanda and Chico, members of the Sandinistas, they also had Big Boss and Miller singing praises for that jerk.).

My commentary is on how Big Boss and Miller’s promotion of the guy was a complete and total betrayal of their characters, and also a betrayal of the explicit themes of the game, and also how it’s just one sign of Kojima just being a hack writer, not to mention was extremely poorly done even if we were to assume Kojima intended for Big Boss and Miller to be seen as the villains.

Out of character

For the first part, I’ll cover how the gushing for Che Guevara was completely out of character for Big Boss, and especially for Kazuhira Miller, aka, Master Miller from MG2 and MGS, not just going by past entries, but even when taking into account Peace Walker itself and any supplementary materials. I’ll give separate sections for the two of them, since it’s going to be lengthy.

Big Boss

For Big Boss, I’ll acknowledge that he was meant to be the main villain in the MSX2 games, or at least the main antagonist. However, his singing praises for Che Guevara even knowing that tidbit still didn’t make any sense at all, for a variety of reasons. First off, the games, namely Metal Gear Solid 2, strongly implied that Big Boss adhered to a more, for lack of a better term, right wing outlook. For starters, the New York Mirror review for Nastasha Romanenko’s book gave brief coverage on the official reports of what went down on Shadow Moses. In particular, as you can see with the screencaps down below, they specifically called the Sons of Big Boss a “radical right-wing group”, and the group itself for all intents and purposes, was modeled after Big Boss (even Liquid, despite hating his father, nevertheless was influenced by his ideology).

And then we get into the character Solidus, who unlike Liquid, or even Solid Snake, practically idolized his “father” (I put it in quotes since Solidus is a clone of Big Boss, as are Liquid and Solid), to the extent that he was practically ecstatic that Raiden shot out his eye and made him look even MORE like his dad. Aside from that, as you can see below with these screencaps, he was also depicted as a proto-Tea Party type, heck, a proto-MAGA type even, basically wanting America to return to the way the Founding Fathers envisioned it. There’s definitely no way Solidus would have been the type to sing praises for a scumbag like Che Guevara, knowing that, and considering his idolization of Big Boss, it’s also unlikely Big Boss would have sang praises for that creep either.

There’s also the fact that in MGS3, he wasn’t fond of Communism at all, and had already interacted with a guy similar to Che in many respects (well, other than maybe in terms of sexuality), Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin, as both were renowned sadists, and even directly attempted to cause nuclear war. In fact, even before the torture, Big Boss, more accurately Naked Snake at that time, learned a bit about Volgin’s past, in particular his involvement in Katyn, and presumably Bykivnia and Kurapaty as well due to EVA’s references to similar massacres occurring in Western Belarus and the Ukraine, as you can see below:

His reaction in that conversation with EVA, in particular Volgin’s personal role in executing those guys, had him downright horrified. Bear in mind that Che Guevara actually DID do several of those things himself, shot innocent and unarmed people, and if anything, unlike Volgin who at least allowed Snake to have weapons on hand to fight him, Che outright dithers when confronted with people using guns, even if they’re his own allies based on his interaction with Jorges Sotus, and to a lesser extent Jesus Carreras. It says a lot when even someone like Volgin, a psychopathic mutant, had more honor than Che Guevara. Plus, in Peace Walker, Big Boss when recalling the Cuban Missile Crisis implied that he blamed that event for his ultimately having to kill The Boss (with Miller even noting it was uncharacteristic of him to get into hypotheticals), as you can see in these screencaps below.

The reason that ties in to Che Guevara is because, believe it or not, Che is the reason why the CMC nearly caused the Cold War to become hot. He and Castro even attempted to launch nukes at the United States, and it actually spooked Khrushchev enough that he had to muzzle Che and agree to end the standoff with the United States via the Turkey Deal (or retrieving Sokolov). Knowing that bit, it’s extremely unlikely Big Boss would have been particularly fond of the guy who essentially set the ground for Operation Snake Eater and his having to kill The Boss. And that’s not even getting into how he tried to stop a nuke being launched not just once in the game, but TWICE, and the second time was a perfect opportunity for him to emulate Che Guevara and succeed where Che failed. When Paz hijacked ZEKE, she revealed that she intended to nuke the Eastern Seaboard and pin the blame on MSF under Cipher’s orders, and yet Big Boss fought her in an attempt to stop her. That definitely wouldn’t have been something Che Guevara would have done, and if anything, he bragged to the London Daily Worker that he WOULD have launched the nukes at America preemptively had they been allowed to remain.

Heck, in Portable Ops and even Peace Walker, or at least the backstory for those games, Big Boss specifically served western interests after Operation Snake Eater. In the former, Big Boss was revealed to have participated in the Mozambique War of Independence, and a comment made by Null, aka, Gray Fox, aka, Frank Jaegar, after being bested the second time around, implied that Big Boss had fought alongside the Portugese during that time (Jaegar at that time was siding with FRELIMO), as you can see from the following screencaps:

And in the tape detailing how he and Miller met (not to mention the extended version included in the Peace and Harmony Blues drama tape that was later included in the Japanese version of Ground Zeroes, specifically chapters 1 and 2), it was mentioned that Kazuhira Miller at the time was a mercenary operating with an implied communist rebel group in Colombia, while Big Boss was clearly siding with the Western-backed government.

I think the events proper for Peace Walker was the first time Big Boss explicitly sided with Communists (not counting Portable Ops, since it’s implied the Russian soldiers renounced their Communism after being abandoned by the Soviet government), and even there, he did it more out of his own personal motives of getting closure regarding The Boss’s true motives after learning she may have somehow survived Snake Eater than out of any liking of Mena/Zadornov’s objectives.

Besides, Big Boss is former CIA, and grunt or not, he'd still need to have at least some degree of knowledge about Che, namely stuff like how Che tried to commit to the Cuban Missile Crisis and make it a hot war, among other things like his instituting gulags in Cuba. And let's not forget, when Gene in Portable Ops tried to pull a similar stunt, Big Boss was genuinely horrified by what he was planning to do.

Kazuhira Miller

Now we get to Kazuhira Miller, aka, Master McDonnell Benedict Miller. Unlike Big Boss, Miller was consistently up to that point depicted as a good guy (probably the closest he got to engaging in villainy was in MGS1 regarding manipulating Snake into arming REX, and even there, he was dead three days before the events of the game, and that had been Liquid who did so). He was also shown to be a huge Che fanboy, and if anything he was depicted as being an even bigger fanboy than Big Boss himself in that game. And Peace Walker also retconned his origins by revealing he was in fact born in Japan with bi-racial ancestry (Japanese and American Caucasian), as he originally was third-generation Japanese American. He was made clear to have more love for America than his own home country of Japan, and only recognized the meaning of peace when talking to his hospitalized mom. He also was mentioned to have been influenced to get into the mercenary business by Yukio Mishima’s suicide, though he does imply that he wasn’t on the same political spectrum as him. Him singing praises for Che Guevara doesn’t work well at all, especially considering that he repeatedly stressed that they not allow another Cuban Missile Crisis to happen, and going by his comments in these screencaps below (in the same briefing file as Big Boss’s uncharacteristically going into hypotheticals, and if anything happened immediately before then), he was fully aware about how Japan itself was almost nuked again thanks to that event (with the only difference being that the Soviets were more likely to nuke them), as you can see with the following screencaps.

Having him sing praises for Che Guevara, whom as I pointed out earlier actually attempted to launch nukes and jumpstart World War III, comes across as ESPECIALLY distasteful knowing that bit, since it comes across as him basically cheering for the guy who tried to wipe out his fellow Japanese, to say little about the Americans, whom back then, he idolized. It would be the same thing as a Holocaust survivor singing praises for Adolf Hitler after narrowly surviving being killed by him. It also doesn’t match up at all with his characterization in MG2 or even MGS1 (and believe me, Liquid posing as Miller or not, his statements to Snake would have been what Miller himself would have said since Snake didn’t seem suspicious at all about him.), the latter regarding the bit about Meryl after she was captured. Even his not being fond of Japan doesn’t cut it, especially when, ignoring that he put that to the side after his mom was hospitalized, the character Sokolov ALSO wasn’t fond of the Soviet Union at all, risked crossing the iron curtain alongside his family to get away from it, and would have been free as a bird had the CMC not happened, and almost got away again until The Boss interfered. Even THERE, however, he still retained at least some degree of love for Russia itself, as when Gene decided to try to nuke Russia (or at least, that’s what Gene led everyone to believe at the time), he secretly went against Gene and adopted the alias of Ghost to aid Big Boss specifically to prevent a nuke from being launched there, being THAT against harming Russia despite hating the Soviet policies. I would have expected Miller to not be fond of Che Guevara at all for that reason.

Overall

The whole thing also didn’t work since if they were meant to be seen as heroes, it ticks off a whole lot of players who are fully aware of some of the crap Che Guevara caused and know his true nature, and regarding painting them as a villain, the problem is that the story DOESN’T depict them as villains for that. Heck, they don’t even STATE any bad things Che did other than maybe dying, and if anything, the way everyone was talking, you’d think he’d walk on water. If Kojima wanted to depict Big Boss and Miller as villains by having him sing praises for Che, the very least he could have done was make sure to specifically reference Che Guevara’s role in nearly causing the Cold War to go Hot by the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis and his being upset at the nukes being removed.

Apparently, if Kojima’s secretary is of any indication, the reason the Che love was in the game was because Kojima himself tried to force in his socio-political views into the game in blatant disregard for the narrative and characterizations therein, as you can see below with links (screencaps will have to be in an addendum post since, unfortunately, I've hit my limit regarding screencap postings):

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/900937994143649792

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/1179860611297153038

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/1190763430497542144

Themes

The Che praise doesn’t work too well with the themes either, since he was not a peaceful man, even called himself the opposite of Christ, and tried to start a nuclear war. It definitely goes against the stated themes of the game, which was peace, not to mention the anti-nuke themes of the overall franchise. Heck, if anything, specifically referencing Che’s attempt at nuking the US and causing Nuclear War, and by extension outright condemning him for it would have worked much better with the themes of anti-nukes, especially considering that they made sure to reference Vasily Arkhipov’s actions during the Cuban Missile Crisis at one point, not to mention referenced both Katyn and the fact that the Turkey silos were already rendered obsolete even before the Turkey Deal made removing them required due to the advent of nuclear subs in Snake Eater earlier. And without the references to that, or any other bad stuff, you’re literally left thinking that he must be a good guy. I’d know because I fell for that myself, especially after getting the game (I didn’t follow the briefing files, but I did follow the cutscenes on YouTube back when it was still in Japan, and I also was baffled as to how people were talking about Big Boss and Miller were Che fanboys since the cutscenes never even pointed in either direction, and if anything, Big Boss nearly being killed by Zadornov would probably point to him NOT liking Che afterwards due to nearly being forced into Che’s fate).

The only thing it did was just have Kojima force in his political and social views, and I’ll be blunt, that kind of crap is something I have distaste in, I hate having propaganda pushed onto me. Ironically, Kojima or at least the Benson books for MGS1 and MGS2, instilled that view onto me. So my anger at Kojima doing that, after learning what Che was truly like in one of the Politically Incorrect Books (either Vietnam War or the 1960s one), is very much personal as well as political and social.

Aftermath

Well, as I said, I did buy into the narrative around the time Peace Walker was released, but then I learned I was being tricked by Kojima after reading the PIG books. I’d argue that event definitely was a watershed event for me. Not only did it have me lose any respect I might have had for Kojima, it also influenced my outlook on life, left me becoming distrustful the second I started picking up how they’re trying to push an agenda instead of, say, actually teaching the material in college. It also may have influenced my later views on Star Wars and Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (specifically, George Luca’s open admission to basing the Ewoks/Rebels on the Vietcong, and especially modeling the Galactic Empire after American soldiers; and Linda Woolverton admitting that she was trying to push a radical feminist agenda in Beauty and the Beast, the same one she tried to push in that awful Maleficent movie. Though I also was becoming disturbed with Belle for reasons other than that bit due to researching the French Revolution, though I will acknowledge Big Boss and Kazuhira Miller’s fanboying of Che Guevara, and in particular their reference to Sartre and his infamously singing praises for Che as “the most complete human being of the century”, certainly worsened my views on Belle, thinking that she may turn out like Sartre and throw her lot with the Jacobins and other groups.). It also left me distrusting of whatever Metal Gear had to say, may have also led to my not liking Chris Redfield after Resident Evil 5, or heck, some of the more anti-American commentary in 5 and other games, and also Dead Rising. It also influenced my decision to become a Dead or Alive fan (especially when before, I wasn’t particularly fond of the game due to the fanservice stuff), and in particular a Tina and Bass fan. May have also influenced my later distaste of Greg Berlanti’s writing of Arrowverse shows, in particular Supergirl starting with Season 2 (though that also had Heroes Redemption as a factor, which predated Peace Walker, thanks to how it changed Claire Bennet).

[moviemunchies]

We had a review on the old Facebook page for this movie when it first came out, but I can’t find it on this blog, so I don’t think we still have it. So I guess I’ll try again.

The King, loosely based on history and some Shakespeare, is the story of Prince Hal, who becomes King Henry V of England, and his war with France.

The gist of it goes like this: Hal is a prince who would rather not worry about the problems of England, especially because his father, Henry IV, is a massive douchebag who causes civil wars because he keeps ticking everyone off. When King Henry dies, Hal is called to take the throne, and his plan is to avoid unnecessary conflict as much as possible, much to the frustration of his court–they desperately want to go to war with France. But when the French monarchy makes it clear they want him dead, Hal has no choice, and he goes to war–bringing his old friend from his pre-king days, Sir John Falstaff, with him as his war counselor.

I should probably put a disclaimer that I’m really not familiar with the Shakespeare that helped inspire this movie. Nor that much with the actual history. From what I understand, it’s not very close to either, and that colored a lot of critics’ opinions on the film. And while I hold that a film doesn’t need to be a one-to-one adaptation, I understand that discomfort–after all, if a film is meant to be adapting a classic piece of theater, or a part of history, shouldn’t it actually stick at least somewhat close to it? 

Then again, sometimes you want to take the basic ideas presented in the play, or that you thought of from history, and do your own story with them. And that’s okay too! It’s perfectly fine to want to tell your own story. And like I said, I’m not that knowledgeable about that, so I will have to judge the move on how it stands on its own.

An interesting aspect of this film was that it asks the question “How powerful is the king of a nation, really?” Growing up we tend to think a king can do whatever he wants, at least in a medieval setting. Recent political dramas like Game of Thrones try to show some nuance in the balances of power, but are also about how power corrupts and the awful things people do for it.

Hal wants to be a genuinely good king once he takes the throne. When he was a prince, he noticed that many of the enemies his father made (including Hal himself) were because he deliberately exploited and insulted allies. Hal decides not to do that and even declines responding to deliberate insults. And his court finds this really annoying, because they really, REALLY want him to go conquer France.

How much is a king able to make his own decisions on matters of state, and how much must he bend over to the will of his courtiers?

I will admit that an issue I have with this movie is that it’s about the Hundred Years War, and in basically any depiction of the Hundred Years War (and in truth, a lot of historical conflicts) my inclination is to lay my sympathies with NOT the English. Sure, some people really liked Hal’s “Make it England!” speech, but, uh, watching a bunch of English soldiers crow about how great their country is as they trample another is always going to sit a bit awkwardly with me. And to be fair, in this movie it’s supposed to, especially when you get to the ending, which throws the motives of the entire operation into question. It still has a rather optimistic view of the English at this time, but at least it interrogates motivations, which is much better than what we often get– “These are the Good Guys because they are English,” a problem with a lot of Hollywood throughout its history.

I kind of expected, from some of the promotional material I’d seen, for more of this movie to be battles. It’s not really–though obviously there ARE fight scenes, and the climax is the Battle of Agincourt. It’s still interesting and exciting, just not in the way you’re probably expecting if you were here just to see battles. There’s not that much of that going around–though like I said, there ARE fight scenes.

Also, I should note: Robert Pattinson plays the Dauphin, the heir to the French throne, and he is having a ball. I’m fairly certain he’s far from the actual historical figure’s personality, as the character he plays here is a smug, sneering douchebag who is constantly rubbing his own sense of superiority in Hal’s face. But that’s easy to get over because he’s so much fun to watch, and he’s clearly having the time of his life in this role.

If you’re interested in historical dramas, but don’t worry about getting too hung up on the actual history, you will probably like this movie. If you're a huge fan of the Shakespeare plays, or are strict on the history, then you might give this one a pass–this will probably not satisfy you. It’s a pretty good movie, though far from a thrilling historical fight fest, if that’s what you’re looking for.

[necr0bvnny]

Nuclear Fusion - Chapter 1

Pairing: Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus x Original Female Character

Genres: Action, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, From Nobody to Nightmare, Mad Scientist(s)

Content/Warnings: Fluff, First Meetings

Summary:

Dr. Kali Kavanah, a timid woman with a genius intellect, works as the head biochemist at Oscorp Industries. Her sheltered life changes when Norman Osborn assigns her to create a special formula for him with the help of Dr. Otto Octavius. What follows is a rollercoaster of romance, betrayal, and their descent into villainy.

A/N: Hi there!! This series will basically be both a Doc Ock x OC fic and the origin story for my Spider-Man villain OC! I’ll be making art for some of the chapters (plus art for my Spider-verse in general) and adding content warnings to certain ones because I do plan for this story to get graphic at times. I hope you all enjoy!! 😊💚

Link to AO3 post

————

“Do I feel happy in life? Um.. Let’s see. Well, I do hope I’m finding happiness. For me, if I can realise certain things in my work, I come the closest to being happy and I can say that also about my life. It only happens in moments, sometimes when I'm working and I’ll be able to fulfill a project successfully and then I think I'm the happiest. While I find it very stimulating to keep studying and working, I'm not just generally happy. If I'm generally anything I'd say I’m generally miserable, hehe!”

The white mice stared up curiously at Kali as she spoke to them in a tranquil tone. Of course, they said nothing back. She liked to pretend that they did though.

“.... I don't know.” She sighed.

Kali tended to work with animals more than people now ever since being promoted to head scientist. This was both a blessing and a curse however. She loved the animals dearly and valued them as lab partners, but nothing could beat real human interaction. While she was forever grateful to be given her position after years of hard work, she wished her boss would be a little more kind. Just because she has the brain power to complete every project he throws at her doesn't mean she should be doing it all alone. But she guessed this was his way of keeping her on her toes.

She lifted one of the mice up to her shoulder and rewarded it with a small piece of an apple that she had been eating, then made sure to give the others in the glass terrarium a few slices to share as well. Nobody went hungry in Dr. Kavanah's lab.

With her test subjects fed, she picked up the cage and walked to return them with the other animals. Within a few minutes Kali was back at her lab.

Upon entering, she was surprised to see her boss standing in the middle of the room waiting for her to return. Norman Osborn, CEO of Oscorp. Wearing a dark green suit so clean that it looked as though it was bought that morning, he stood tall and proud while opening a briefcase up on one of the tables.

"Good news, Kali. I have a new project to keep you busy." He handed her a document which she immediately opened with glee and began speed-reading the first page.

"Thank you, sir! What did you have in mind?"

"I’ve just struck up a deal with a veterinary pharmaceutical company. I was hoping you can create a sort of.. animal steroid for me. All of the effects they want to see are written down for you to go over later.”

Kali closed the documents and sat them down on the closest work table, sensing that that wasn’t all Norman had to say. “Of course, sir. I’ll begin as soon as possible.”

“There is one more thing you must know about this project. The company has requested that we use some benign radioactive ingredients in the formula. Seeing as how your specialty is biochemistry, I’ve hired you a lab partner that can help you with the more sensitive materials you'll be handling."

Turning around to face the entrance, Norman then half-shouted, "Come on in."

Suddenly all of Kali's attention was on the new company entering the lab. In walked Dr. Otto Octavius, head scientist at the U.S Atomic Research Center. She felt her heart get caught in her throat as he came right up to her and offered his hand with a smile.

"Good evening, Dr. Kavanah. It's a pleasure to be working with you."

"Oh, it is an honor, Dr. Octavius! I've read nearly all of your articles and interviews."

"Please, we're going to be working together for quite a while. Just call me Otto."

"Yes, sir! I-I mean Otto.. " After realizing she was still shaking his hand, she awkwardly let go, earning a quiet chuckle from him.

"Well, now that I have you two geniuses together I should be off. Good luck." With that, Osborn was out the door before anyone could respond.

"Please, make yourself at home! The office and bathroom are that way," Kali pointed to the door and window at the far right of the laboratory.

"Ah, thank you, dear. I'll be back shortly."

Otto walked off into the office and shut the door behind him, though she couldn't see what he was doing as the window had it's blinds drawn.

Kali stood alone in the middle of the lab, still trying to process everything that was happening. She couldn't believe it. Otto Octavius himself was going to be working with her, her of all people! She had seen him in person before but only from afar at a science convention a few years ago. At that time he was first introducing the world to the concept of his masterpiece, the four-armed apparatus that he used for handling nuclear material. He had since finished it but she had only seen it in pictures. She wondered for a moment if he was going to be bringing it to her lab, and the excitement at the idea forced a little squeal out of her.

Soon enough Dr. Octavius finally exited the office holding a magazine and chuckling to himself. Once he was back in front of Kali, he showed the front cover of it to her to reveal an image of himself standing proudly in front of a mechanical arm displayed on the table behind him. Kali's cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"I see you weren't lying about being a fan. I'm guessing you may know me better as 'Doctor Octopus' as my coworkers have grown fond of calling me."

"No, sir. I believe name calling like that is a petty tactic used by the weak-minded to undermine those they don't understand."

Otto smiled wider at her words.

"Y'know, I've done my own fair share of reading about you as well. Your work is nothing short of brilliance."

Kali perked up a bit at his compliment, her cheeks burning for a different reason now. "Really?"

"Of course! I've been meaning to get in touch with you even before Osborn hired me. Seeing as how we have some free time at the moment, I'd like to get to know you better if that's alright? We are lab partners now after all."

He pulled up two chairs, sitting down in one and offering the other one to her. Kali sat down across from him with an awkward smile and thanked him.

"Um, well… I don't know what to say, hehe. I suppose you can ask me anything you're curious about!"

Kali couldn't remember the last time she had sat down with someone and talked back and forth for who knows how long, laughing and simply enjoying each other's presence. Otto asked her many questions about herself, though none too personal. Everything he wanted to know about her seemed to be trivial, things such as 'how do you like your tea?' and 'do you have any pets?'. Things Kali didn't think anyone would ever care to know about her. And yet here he was, wanting to know and seeming fully invested as she spoke about herself.

Hours passed and eventually Otto checked his watch, realizing that it was time to go home. Kali was genuinely surprised, as it only felt like minutes had gone by. As they said their goodbyes for the night, her world seemed to fade back to grey as he left the laboratory. But knowing she would see him again the next day brought a toothy smile back to her face. Moving into the office, she fell back onto the couch on the right side of the room and let out a joyous sigh. Rats may have been adorable companions, but they couldn't ask you how your day was or flash you a genuine, debonair smile like Otto could.

Her heart swelled within her chest as she spent the rest of the night thinking about her new friend.

[farfromharry]

Hey could I request Promot #19 with Harrison?

summary: your best friend takes you out on a date because neither of you have plans for valentines

plantonic!harrison x platonic!reader

w/c 0.7k

valentines day blurbs!

valentines day when you were single was not at all enjoyable. you had been complaining for days to your best friend about how all you’d seen recently was couples being all in love, and you hated it.

harrison was just the same, but he didn’t seem as affected as you were. yes, he was single, but he didn’t seem to care that much.

so its safe to say you were surprised when he barged into your apartment in the middle of the day, demanding that you let him take you out.

“get dressed, then come with me.” there was no room for discussion. he didn’t even explain what to wear or where you were going, so you more or less had to guess what would be appropriate to wear.

you eventually had to ask harrison what to wear, hating the stress of having to choose an outfit without any guidance. things moved by much quicker after that, and soon you were partially blindfolded, harrison had told you to bury your face in a spare hoodie he brought, while you made your way to your destination.

“where are we going?” you asked, probably for the hundredth time since harrison had got you in his car. he was trying to keep his patience, he really didn’t want to spoil his surprise. he just kept on telling you that you’d find out, which only fueled your curiosity.

your excitement built quickly when the car came to a stop, harrison warning you about removing the makeshift blindfold. he guided you out of the car, taking the material away from your curious eyes, but quickly replacing it with his hands.

he made sure to do an extra slow countdown, one that almost had you bouncing from how intrigued you were.

“surprise,” he whispered, removing his hands from your eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows when you found yourself outside of a crazy golf place.

“what are we doing here?” you asked, turning around to look at his smiling face. he rolled his eyes, motioning to the building.

“we’re obviously playing crazy golf.” you huffed, annoyed that he’d just pointed out the obvious. you slapped his arm in a scolding manner, receiving an offended glare from your best friend. “i meant, why are we here?”

he didn’t allow you to ask anymore questions, dragging you inside to get your clubs and everything ready.

harrison was obviously better at this than you, choosing to show off his skills any chance he got. you’d made a few comments under your breath at how he was a show off, and a sore loser whenever you got a better score on a hole.

“final one, are you ready to lose?” he asked, preparing to take his first shot. you rolled your eyes, knowing that you’d been writing down the scores and it was basically neck and neck.

“whatever you say, pretty boy.”

even with his cocky nature, harrison didn’t end up winning, prompting him to pout the entire way back to your home, especially when you rubbed it in with a small cheer.

“you’re such a sore loser,” you complained, playfully pushing his shoulder. he whined like a

child, glaring at you.

“i’m driving, you can’t just push me,” he hissed, rolling his eyes when you let out an amused giggle. “but am not,” he whispered, in response to you calling him a sore loser.

the rest of the car ride was filled with you continuously pointing out that you won, just because harrison would have done the same if the roles were reversed.

he generously offered to walk you up to your apartment, seeing as it was dark and he didn’t particularly like the idea of you even going such a short distance on your own.

you both stopped outside your door. you did ask if he wanted to come in but you understood when he said he had plans with the twins for the rest of their birthday.

“thank you for today, i really enjoyed this.” he flashed you a genuine smile, pulling you into his arms with a soft kiss on your head.

“i’ll take you on a friend date any time,” he promised. you giggled at his reference to the outing.

“a friend date?” you questioned. he nodded, messing up your hair playfully.

“when you don’t have an actual date, i’m willing to stand in, as your best friend,” he explained. you hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek as a thank you.

“i’ll be looking forward to it.”

harrison osterfield taglist - @seutarose @euphorichxlland @hjoficrecs @drie-the-derp @hazardosterfield @bvttercupbby @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys @itstaskeen @icyhollands @zspideyy @chrisosterfield @starkweasley @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @hopeless-romantic-baby @dummiesshort @thehumanistsdiary @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @piscesparker @kujokura @l0velyevans

[rpbetter]

"writes dubcon therefore is a freak who should be bullied off the site" ho boy i'm fed up with people acting as if consenting adults writing [insert "problematic" fictional thing here] is the worst thing in the world. seen way too many people justifying harrassment of REAL PEOPLE by "they write thing that triggers me". ok, and? mute the tags or don't follow! "it triggers someone" is not a valid reason to ban a topic. piano music triggers me yet i don't go around demanding everyone stop playing the piano.

Anon, not only is everything you said absolutely valid, but also, thank you for demonstrating that triggers are incredibly varied and as such, we cannot predict everyone's triggers. Making the entire "point" of banning for possible triggers invalidated as hell.

We should be aware of things like the most commonly occurring phobias (things like arachnophobia and coulrophobia that are, additionally, easily triggered by imagery) and tag them. We should be aware of very obvious triggers, that are, again, easily set off by imagery, like blood, eye trauma, and depictions of domestic violence. And we should always read and be aware of our writing partners' stated triggers so that we can tag them appropriately or even decide that it isn't going to work because our muse, canon story, or interests are going to present an unfair situation in this partnership.

But triggers can be highly unusual, as well as activated differently (even at different times) for everyone. I'm not triggered by seeing hotel rooms in pictures or movies, I'm not triggered by writing scenes that take place in them, but I'm triggered to some degree by being in one. It's outrageous oversimplification to act like all triggers are the same, they all display the same way, they're all going to trigger someone on the same basis, everyone's going to react the same to their triggers. There is absolutely no way to prevent 100% of possible triggers for 100% of the population, 100% of the time.

Add to this that way too many people trivialize triggers by throwing around that term to justify the banning of something that makes them uncomfortable or that they take a personal, moral issue with. "I don't like this" and "I'm grossed out by this" and "this makes me feel uncomfortable" is not being triggered. It's just a good way to weaponize the better nature of other people so that they comply.

Most people legitimately do not want to trigger someone, especially if they have triggers and know what it's like. Just like no one wants to be accused of cruelty towards trauma survivors in general, or be designated a pedo, rape apologist, or fascist. They're all things to weaponize in order to isolate, shame, and control. And that's really fucking gross. These are serious, real things that have no business being trivialized to police content, win internet arguments, or garner popularity.

The potential for someone to be triggered isn't a reason to ban anything; we have tags, we have blacklist.

While I'll be the first to say that tumblr's blacklisting can be as shitty as everything else on the site, the primary issue with running into content you don't want to see comes down to two factors: no one tagging/tagging correctly and actively exposing yourself to that content. Going through people's properly done tags and blog warnings about their content in order to "call it out" is actively exposing yourself by choice. You actual walnuts.

Calling people on on their "problematic" content is bringing those topics to the attention of other people. That's the whole point of this gross behavior: look at the freak pedo abuse apologist I found, they write dubcon!! Don't look if you'll be triggered uwu

Buddy, pal, my guy...you just put that on blast for anyone to run across. Maybe their blacklist catches those words in your callout post, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they think you're a safe space because you promote yourself that way, so they click it anyway. Point is, you just willfully and irresponsibly exposed people because it's more important to you to demonize a rando on tumblr RPing something you take issue with. Good job!

Furthermore, dubcon itself is such a hilarious issue to take. Do they realize that isn't always sexual, or? Not? I'm thinking not. Funnily enough, one of the oldest posts I've been working on for this blog is about exactly this topic, the myriad situations that are dubious consent. That doesn't have to be sexual, and neither does it have to be intentionally predatory. You can come up with some amazing character development with a lot of muses in the RPC with dubcon because almost everyone's muse has some manner of trauma that might negate their perception of their own consent...and what do you do then? Is it removing more agency from that muse to shut them down, or is that always the better option? Can you separate your opinion as the mun from your muse's natural reactions? How does this impact the muses involved not just that moment but the next year?

Point is, dubcon isn't always some rapey situation. Even if it was, even if someone is writing it that way, it's literally not your business or your problem.

There's one mutual-in-law on my RP blog that really bothers me. They write things that I find fetishizing, incredibly rapey, all around shit that bothers me. I don't want to see it, some of the things they write makes my damn skin crawl. This person doesn't know it, we certainly don't speak and I don't think they like me very much, but I've repeatedly defended their right, specifically their right as a person with some long-term callouts on them, to write what they want to. I have them blocked and their urls blacklisted so I never have to see my mutual reblogging their threads. It's not a problem because I don't click "show anyway." Why would I, if it genuinely bothers me so much?

That's how you handle things that bother you; you use the tools available to not interact even by accident. Not by launching a morality crusade.

If any of us want to write what we enjoy, we have to allow others that same freedom. It's always a matter of time before this policing grows to include more and more topics, it's been used multiple times to get well-meaning people who don't fall into the general demographics to police queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized groups off of platforms. We've been fortunate in most of the RPC that it implodes on itself before it gets all the way there, but even so, you can see it.

It starts with things that produce a visceral reaction in the great majority of people, positions this with a repeatedly condemned idea presented as solid fact that fiction is reality, and you've got the start of something awful. Today it's something you don't like, maybe even something that triggers you, so you either support it or you quietly allow it to happen. Who needs to write that "freak shit" anyway, can't they just be gross privately? Six months from now, it's something "problematic" that you enjoy like violence that's canon-typical for your muse, or your OTP because they're gay and that's fetishizing, they're cis male and female but one or both is bi and that's bad representation, or they canonically have a rocky relationship so that's romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

If you can't care for any other reason, you really should care about how it is going to impact you sooner or later. In an environment like this, you can stay in your space, put warnings on your blog, and tag properly and you're still going to get a callout if the wrong person finds your blog. Just takes a single person with more time, energy, and skewed ideas of justice than they have reading comprehension or common sense.

Again, I cannot encourage people enough to give warnings, but it's difficult to ignore why those warnings are slipping; they're a way to be found, designated as a Problem, and called out. Look, it's another reason why callouts actually make things worse, not better! People put that shit in their rules so you can avoid content, they're being responsible and interested in promoting a safe RPC. Let them do it, damn.

You can't tag everything, and if you've never experienced what a giant series of repetitive tags is like on a screenreader you probably should before you tag seven paragraphs of possible issues. You can tag for visuals, you can tag for the obvious things, and you can tag for what's in the rules you agreed to when you followed/followed back. But you should also warn people that you write "dark topics" on the tin, and expand on that in your rules for specific things like graphic violence, toxic relationships, dubon, and addiction.

That's how responsible adults, not over-aged children, make better decisions about their mental health and general comfort. Not by appointing themselves the watchdogs of the damn RPC, here to protect you whether you want to be or not, find that incredibly insulting or not when you're in one of their categories of people who must be protected, by forcibly banning Problematic Everything. Problematic, of course, being entirely in the eye of the content police.

It's fiction. No one and nothing real was harmed. It's great that you are so invested in the fictional world and people that make you happy, but take a fucking big step back into reality. The real people you're harming with your bullshit had every right to peaceably exist. If what they're writing is triggering to you, stay. away. from. it.

Without any coincidence whatsoever, that's how you get from the base-point of Problematic Material to Problematic Mun. Yeah, it's just fiction, it's just RP, but I also took something out of context OOC or was upset by their tone on their own blog or couldn't exercise the minimal adult logic to remove myself from their presence OOC as well. So, now, you've got OOC behavior being added to the callout, if it wasn't already. Everyone is now ableist, transphobic, racist, and a misogynist because it lends that visceral reaction to the callout and ups the game from just being "y'all so gross you aged up a cartoon character to ship" to "this is REAL and it won't be tolerated! OP is actually a pedophile, they told a sexual joke in a discord server with a minor present and I have the receipts!"

What are the most storied callouts in the entire RPC? I'm absolutely certain the same names came to mind no matter what fandoms you're in, and one of them was "Matt." Another was probably "Ares/Snow". They're all successful and keep being brought up out of the closet anytime people are bored enough because their primary punch is the mun themselves being a predatory threat to the community. The mun is verified to be a bad person. Well, of course, that's got to be repeated, it worked. (Even if it did not, at all, work and only made it harder for people to avoid any of these muns.)

Are there people in the RPC who are legitimately a problem? Absolutely, yes. We're all supposed to be adults, however. Part of being an adult is having and acting upon one's agency. If someone is coercing you into things you are not comfortable with, shut it down. If you have difficulties being certain of those situations, run it by a trusted, honest friend or available, impartial source in the RPC for a second opinion. If you can't handle any manner of confrontation, there really are situations in which it's perfectly alright to block someone without any discussion. It's just the internet, you're in control of your space. Own it.

Minors are a whole other can of fucked up worms I'm not even getting into right now except to say that because a minor exists in a space they were told to stay out of does not mean we ban all topics inappropriate for their consumption.

tl;dr: banning shit doesn't work anyway, the whole idea is predicated upon some incredibly problematic takes IRL, and no, there's no justification for it outside of intense personal problems with one's own importance. That energy would be infinitely better spent volunteering one's time to help real people in crisis or after surviving one, or even oneself in developing some healthier approaches and thought patterns.

[valofaxwords]

Blog Post Week 2 due 9/2

Is Information a product?

We tend to think of a product as a good or service. We can even simplify it even more as something that is desirable whether that be an object or a service that needs to be done. But in a more modern world of social media and the exchanging of data, does that make information itself a product (Fuchs, Christian 2014). By the above-simplified definition, something desirable, we can define it as a product as companies on a large scale do desire information that aids them in particular ways. Information for them could mean a multitude of things for them and can be used in a variety of ways to turn that into profit. For example, companies need the information to better regulate their products, how people want them, how people feel about their product, what they can improve, or what isn’t working for them. To corporations, information is a commodity that is as important as the raw materials they need to create a sellable product. 

But is Information a product that an individual desires?

Consider when you are thinking of buying a new phone or going to a new restaurant, what is the first thing you are inclined to do? For the majority, it would most likely be to see a review. Whether that means going online and checking reviews on blogs or simply asking a friend what their feeling on something is, the bottom line is you require information that you don’t have or can produce yourself. This is just one example of how information is desirable, but not exactly why it is a product. Besides the free advice you can get from a friend or family member when searching for information online, one always wants the opinion of someone they believe is credible. That could be a famous vlogger who reviews and unboxes phones or something as older fashioned as looking in a newspaper for as publicized critic's opinions on the latest blockbuster movie. While the information itself isn’t being sold to you, the revenue the vlogger gets from the advertisement from the interview is being accrued and you most likely had to buy the newspaper to read the critique. So that is to say that information does exist as an important product that it outright desirable to the average person. 

Is Facebook exploitative?

Considering that Facebook’s roots stem from the desire of college boys for a new way to rate and objectify women, it’s not a reach to consider if Facebook is an exploitative entity. Now advertised as a way to stay connected to your friends and family, Facebook has become one of the pillars of social media. With no outright product to sell you, Facebook derives its income mainly from the advertisements strewn across the platform (and also the data they sell to third parties) that are seen by its users. So how is that exploitative? Advertisements have been everywhere for decades now, how is Facebook any more exploitative than say, the highway billboards we always notice to and from work? In the case of highway billboards, you can’t even avert your eyes from them because they are usually in your view when driving, at the very least you can choose not to open up Facebook. While it’s true you can simply avoid opening the website, if you have had use of their platform before, you’re most likely being exploited for their benefit. Again, Facebook defines itself as a platform for social networking, but what is a platform without users? For Facebook to survive, it must constantly be fed new, relevant information as a reason for users to continue accessing their platform. Without frequent and new users entering and using the platform, Facebook might as well be as profitable as an unlit billboard in the dark. So with only providing the platform, Facebook profits off the work of its users as they are the draw of the service, and with no compensation for the work of their user’s which in turn helps create money for Facebook, you could define Facebook with textbook exploitation. 

Is performative activism still activism?

The answer to this question depends on what your definition of activism is. Is activism the attempt at getting the most attention and eyes on a certain subject or idea on a subject? Or is activism the promotion of an idea so that it instills in others the desire to act? If your definition of activism follows the first question, then yes, even performative activism is still activism. By that definition, it must mean that the attempt at getting the most eyes on your ideas is the most important part of activism. So whether the activism is performative or not, as long as it reaches the masses, it still counts. Those that follow this definition might say, “The more people know about it, the better,” or “ A bigger net always catches the most fish.”

If you defined activism by the second question, then you may define activism as a whole based on its concrete results rather than perceived possibilities. “Quality over quantity,” maybe one way to look at it. Along with this definition, it may be that with performative activism, the word gets out, but is the word being sent out what you truly want people to know or a muddled sentence that has lost its meaning like a game of telephone? You could point at things like the ice bucket challenge, which was originally designed as a way to promote donations for ALS research. It was everywhere at the time, and everyone knew what the ice bucket challenge was, but not everyone knew it had anything to do with donations to a disease. Or even if you did know, how much did you know about it besides the word ALS? Did you know what the acronym stood for or even who is most at risk to develop ALS? Did you know that the whole conception of using ice water was to mimic the symptoms of ALS? Symptoms of the condition are mainly the degradation and loss of muscle control, somewhat similar to the feeling of being exposed to freezing water. 

So I haven’t given a definitive answer to this question because the answer lies in the individual. Personally, I tend to lean towards the second definition. It may be a more cynical take on activism, but I couldn’t say it's anymore valid than the other choice. I do concede that performative activism does have its benefits and would be acceptable in certain instances, but for the most part, I believe that a message will always spread farther if behind genuine feelings.

Fuchs, Christian. 2014. Social Media: A Critical Introduction. Los Angeles: Sage Publications

Gonzalez, Torres. 2012. News For All The People: The Epic Story of Race and the American Media. SAGE Publications Inc.

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Only Mine (Pt. 6)

A/N: We’re using Taylor songs again because we love Queen Taylor. So these are not my works (obviously) but hers. However if you’ve never heard some of these I would highly suggest you check them out because all Taylor songs are absolute bops. Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Pop Star!Reader Word count: 3,541 Warnings: Swearing, implied sex (no smut though), arguing (minor)

You found the release of Fractious to be the most ironic days of your life.

You were in the media everywhere, selling only a few thousands copies less in it’s first week than your previous record. Which you were fine with, that was somewhat of the plan.

But you were no where to be seen. Hiding out in a new house you and Gerard had bought New Jersey for just under three million dollars. But no one knew about that purchase, other than your closest family and friends. Because no one needed to know.

The suspense of it all started extremely high, as you only announced the album 12 hours prior to its drop. And the world went insane, fans jumping to Twitter to go absolutely crazy over this new persona that they had already began to love, and some had already caught onto the ‘good girl gone bad’ idea.

You released the entire tracklist only three hours before the drop, and you were already stalking fan pages who began making theories about what it meant. There were already a lot of ‘THIS ONE’S ABOUTE GERARD’ and theories already popping up about him, which made you lightly smile knowing damn well a lot of it was.

The tracklist read: Blank Space I Knew You Were Trouble Style End Game I Did Something Bad I Know Places Out Of The Woods Dancing With Our Hands Tied Don’t Blame Me Getaway Car Clean

You smiled and lightly laughed once you refreshed your phone on the couch, your face and name at the top of iTunes and various other music providers promoting your new album.

“Congrats babe.” Gerard said from where he sat next to you, giving you a kiss and squeezing your thigh, “I’m proud of you.” “Thanks Gee.” You leaned your head onto his shoulder, “I love you. So much.” “I love you more.” He smiled down.

What made it all the better was how MCR was entering into their punk era, only making your album and new persona more believable. You had to admit, Gerard’s red and shaggy hair was really hot, and you were living for it, as you had told him a million times.

And you knew how much he loved your new era. As much as he genuinely loved the real, bubbly you (which is of course why he married you) he continuously admired your new all black look, managing to wear skin tight jeans and short shorts with more crop tops than usual and leather jackets galore. And you can’t forget how many pairs of Doc Martins you had, plus Louboutin boots all for the red bottoms. You basically looked like a filthy rich home wrecker, AKA the look you were going for.

But at home and in private you were the same old Y/N, always letting your natural hair fall into its regular ways, with little to no makeup and not ashamed to wear whatever you wanted.

What seemed to put the cherry on top to this new era was the newest addition to your family, AKA a black french bulldog named Rocko the two of you got. He was a tornado of chaos who would run around the house with his dozens of toys, taunting you and Gerard with them as if to show some form of superiority that he clearly lacked. You treated him like he was a newborn baby, constantly. You bought him clothes, beds, and toys, letting him sleep with you and Gerard despite your husbands protests about how he “took up too much room”. To you, the little canine could do nothing wrong.

That was until he chewed up your favorite pair of shoes, which just oh so happened to cost multiple hundreds of dollars. Gerard was furious at his actions, complaining that there was no reason for him to do so with the countless amount of toys he already had. You were mad at first too, but after only a few seconds of the pup giving you his eyes of sympathy you forgave him and moved on as if nothing happened. Gerard was still in his state of anger though.

“Oh, look, the designs for the tour outfits came in.” You smiled from where you laid on the couch, checking emails on your laptop, Rocko at your feet sitting between you and Gerard who was reading a book. You opened up the file to be greeted with all dozen outfits, which were beyond perfect. Gerard looked over, interested in the topic. “I like that one.” You pointed to one especially scandalous duo of tiny shorts and an even smaller top that could have been easily mistaken for a bra if it wasn’t for the thicker material on the all black set with black tights. “It makes me look like a whore.” Gerard nearly spat out his coffee.

“But you’re not a whore.” “Yeah, well, my alter ego is.” You smiled. “And you made her that way.” You looked up at him from quickly, “Take that as a compliment.” “How is me turning my wife into a whore a compliment?” He asked, puzzled.

“Just take it as one.” You huffed.

“I do think you’ll look bad ass in it though,” He remarked, returning to his book.

“Awww, thanks babe.” You blushed, “Maybe I’ll ask them to make you a matching outfit.” You lightly laughed. “Haha, very funny.” He rolled his eyes.

“It sucks we’ll be touring at the same time.” You sighed, “I miss being able to see you and the guys more.” “Yeah I miss you too,” He sighed as well, “And Ray does too.” You lightly laughed.

“Ray’s coming to the first show, right?” You asked, looking up at Gerard. He nodded.

“He cleared all of his schedule to go and he’s pumped.” You smiled.

“Good.” You closed your laptop, climbing over to give Gerard a kiss, which he happily accepted and did the same back. “Somedays I wish you kissed me the way as you do Frank.” You lightly smiled, letting go as he chuckled.

“I mean, I could.” He smiled at you, running his hands through your hair, “But that’s more aggressive and in the moment. I prefer to savor the kisses I have with you, let you know how much I love you.” You smiled, lightly rolling your eyes.

“You’re so sappy sometimes, Gee.” You responded, “But I love it.”

That night, as you were going to bed, you stopped in your mirror momentarily to take a look at yourself. You had gained 25-ish pounds since your break from the spotlight, still recovering from your ED. Your doctor said that you were healthy now, but some of the fatrolls that fell on your sides and hip dips as well were starting to bother you. And your stomach still had that bit of blub that you were never very fond of.

Gerard walked past you in the bathroom, immediately getting the memo. “Am I too fat?” You turned around and asked him, his face turning to a form of ridicule.

“You’re a fucking goddess.” He said looking you up and down, “So no.”

“Are you sure Gee-” Before you could finish, he grabbed your hand and practically dragged you to bed where he pushed you down with ease beneath him, giving you a searing kiss.

“You’re fucking gorgeous and the most beautiful woman alive. If you say one more thing about you not being perfect I’m going to frame every photo of you in every inch of this damn house so you know just how incredible you are.” “Fine.” You sighed reluctantly. “Now say it with me,” He began, “I, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N-Way am perfect.” You sighed, choosing to go with it.

“I, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N-Way am perfect.” “Good girl.” He said with another quick kiss. You lightly laughed, rolling over to your side of the bed to give Gerard his. You took your hand, running your fingers through his messy hair as the two of you stared at each other.

“After these two tours, I think I want to take a break.” You admitted, saying so above a whisper. He lightly nodded. “Maybe we can start a family.” He nodded again. “And settle down.” He gave you a kiss on the nose.

“That sounds perfect.”

-Time skip because I’m lAzY-

You were on stage doing what you do best, simultaneously swaying your hips to the music and going along with some of the choreography, as if the skin tight black and sparkly body suit and above the knee black boots weren’t enough.

As usual, you would look over to your husband where he was in the VIP section and sing to him, a smile plastered on his face. You would occasionally look over to see both the approval of your family, and friends, including Ray who seemed to be having the time of his life dancing and singing the lyrics.

The show was going absolutely perfect, it was bigger than any other that you had ever done, a larger stage, larger screens, larger everything. Even a larger crowd with over 100,000 people for your first show on tour. You could hear the audience echo your lyrics, jumping up and down judging by the movements of their light up wrist bands.

You of course played a few songs off of your previous album, doing a few acoustic with just you and the crowd which were some of your favorite experiences and moments. You also did a quick speech thanking all of your loyal fans who waited for you to come back with new music, despite the long period of time where you were no where to be seen.

After the finale, you ran back with a huge smile still on your face with your team, drinking some water constantly to hydrate yourself. It only took you a few moments in the back hallways of the stadium before you saw your husband at one end, smiling at you. You smiled back, running up to him and clinging your arms around him. He hugged you back, giving you a quick kiss. “You did great.” He whispered with a huge smiled, “I’m so proud.” “Thanks.” You smiled back, giving him another kiss. The two of you walked away, arms around each other as you leaned onto him. You tried to keep PDA to a limit, especially since the documentary was actively being made and was recording everything.

Once you were back in your private dressing room where no one else was, he gave you an even bigger hug, swinging you around and you lightly squealed. “You’re just so good.” He laughed.

“Thanks.” You smiled at him, letting go to go and take off your makeup at the chair. “I just gotta meet a few fans then we can go back to the hotel.” You told him through the mirror and he nodded.

“Y/N?” You heard your assistant knock at the door. “Hey, Betty.” You smiled up at her and she smiled back.

“I assumed you would want Rocky with you.” She said, putting the small black dog and he ran up to your chair.

“Ah yes,” You smiled down at him, picking him up and giving him a bunch of kisses on his little face, “Thank you.” You told her and she nodded, “No problem.” She closed the door back. You held the small dog in your lap, finishing off your face and hair before getting up and putting him down to change into regular clothes from your stage outfit.

“Gee?” You asked and he hummed, looking up from his phone, “Could you unzip me?” You asked and he nodded, getting up to do so. Usually Gerard would pull something after that, making it less PG, but you shot him a quick glare warning him not to do anything, so he didn’t.

You quickly replaced your stage clothes with a pair of jeans and sweatshirt, turning around to see Gerard still staring at you, wide eyes. “Oh please,” you sighed at him, “We’ve been together for over eight years Gee, handle yourself.” “Sorry, it’s just really hard to.” He tried to defend himself, you rolled your eyes.

“I’ll be back soon, babe.” You smiled, giving him a peck on the lips before excusing yourself.

The meet and greet went by as always, taking about half an hour before you said bye to everyone, taking photos, and then went back to Gerard. He was still on his phone on one of the couches in the room, Rocko by his feet. “Ready to go?” He asked, looking up, and you nodded grabbing your phone and backpack.

On the way out you couldn’t stop smiling, hand in hand with Gerard going in one of the large black SUVs, you going in first, then Rocko, then Gerard. “How’re you feeling?” Your husband asked and you just smiled.

“Great,” You admitted, taking a sip from your water, “Everyone loved it.” He gave your thigh a squeeze and looked at you.

“It was definitely pretty bad ass.” He smiled and you lightly laughed.

You had walked into your suite, setting your bag and the dog down, placing him in his bed (in the living room part of the room) while Gerard grabbed him a bowl of water. You gave the dog a quick good night kiss, resorting to your own room where Gerard followed, closing the door behind you.

Almost immediately your lips were clashed together, his hands on your waist as he swiftly put you on the large plush duvet of the bed, moving down to your collarbone and neck.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked for only a brief moment, as a double check. You shook your head violently.

“No,” You sighed out, “Please no.” He smiled down at you connecting your lips against. “Whatever you want, sugar.”

-Another time skip-

You wouldn’t have ever known if it wasn’t for the insane amount of fatigue and throwing up you were going through, only a month into tour. Initially you could’ve sworn it was just a cold turned to maybe the flu, as many of the symptoms you were having would go away within a few hours, so you were ready for show time.

But here you sat in your hotel room, curled up on the bed with Rocko next to you, your mind completely empty as you stared into the thin air, Betty had run to the nearest pharmacy. What were you going to do on tour? Fans would figure it out easily. But what would you tell Gerard?

Once Betty came back she gave you a somber, almost apologetic smile handing your the small bag. You thanked her, closing the door and going into the bathroom.

You stood over the bathroom sink, your hands gripping the granite edges for dear life as you stared down at the three tests. All positive. It took you a few minutes of staring, rocking back and forth, for everything to sink in.

This was not how you planned it, it was never supposed to go like this. You and Gerard were going to take a break, settle down, have your first child and be together all through your pregnancy. Now you were both on huge tours promoting your new work, away from home for at least the next five months. 

You could feel warm tears stream down your cheeks, a small sniffle coming from your nose as you grabbed your phone. Reluctantly, you pressed on your husband’s name, pressing the small phone icon displayed underneath it. You put your face up to the screen slowly. Only a few rings and he answered.

“Hey Y/N/N,” He said, “What’s up.” It took you a few seconds, but you immediately bursted into sobs. “Baby? What’s wrong?” He spoke up, voice with lots of concern.

“Gee,” You began, sniffing again through the sobs, “I’m um- I’m pregnant.” You said. No one spoke for the next few seconds, complete silence on both ends of the line.

“Sweetie,” He said in a light voice, a small laugh following afterwards, “That’s great!” “No, Gerard, it isn’t.” You snapped, “We had all of this planned out perfectly, no one was going to know unless we wanted them to. But no, in the beginning of a fucking world tour this has to happen.” You raised your voice, “And I get it, this is gonna be a fucking walk in the park for you because you’re not here, and you don’t have to play in front of over 50,000 people every night in body tight suits. And you’re going to be separated from your pregnant wife. Life’s probably fucking perfect for you.” You weren’t sure what had gotten into you, but whatever it was it wasn’t pretty.

“What?” He asked, “You say it like we never wanted this. Sometimes things don’t go to plan Y/N.” He snapped back.

“Well they have to in our world Gerard!” You yelled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, “We have our lives set out for the next six months. And this is a big deal, and something we can’t do right now.”

“So are you going to get an abortion? Are you going to put it into the adoption system?” He yelled back. You took a few moments to think.

“No.” You admitted, barely above a whisper, “Gee, I’m sorry.” You began sobbing again, your sad feeling taking over any angry one.

“No, sugar, I am.” He clarified with a sigh, “You’re going through a lot and I should be supporting you, not arguing.” “Well I kinda started it.” “And I shouldn’t have continued it.” He responded. “Honey, we’ll figure this out.” He insisted, “We’ll talk to your tour manager and everyone who needs to know, we’ll figure something out. Some way to hide it.” “Okay.” You said somberly.

“Give me a few minutes,” He said, “I’m going to figure out a way to get to you.” “Gee, you’re booked for the next fews months on tour.” “And so are you, but you’re also carrying our child right now.” He spoke back, “We’re going to figure it out, okay? We’re going to have a kid, and start a family, maybe a little off track from what we intended, but this is what we’ve wanted, right?” You nodded despite him not seeing you.

“Yeah, of course.” You calmed down. “This is what we’ve wanted.”

It took a full week for a plan to be made. A week of unnecessary stress and anxiety for everyone on your team who was high enough on the roster to know about the pregnancy. Not even your families or friends knew, everything right now was business.

Gerard managed to fly in during a three day break the band had, consoling your emotions during the time as you two began to discuss personal plans. There was a lot of crying, both tears of sadness and joy, as you two began to discuss where you would live most of the time, which room the baby would take, how to even handle a child.

You already knew the baby’s name, which could go for either a boy or girl: Shiloh Monet Way. You were still very unsure about planning to have a baby, but since your tour would end when the third trimester began, you would have at least a few months to plan and figure out everything.

Gerard had already talked to the guys and their managers about pushing back some of the dates so there was a month break for him to be home around the baby’s due date. At the very least he wanted to be with you while giving birth, but he also wanted to help both you and the baby recover.

New outfits and plans to completely hide your pregnancy were already in the working with your teams. It was like a completely undercover operation to keep both you and your child’s privacy to a fine tune. And of course. Gerard and the guys promised to not say anything at all, even a hint towards you being pregnant wouldn’t be dropped.

“I say we wait to tell our families and friends,” You admitted to your husband, the two of you on the hotel bed getting ready to go to a sound check. “Just in case anything happens. I mean, we have to tell our teams and the guys and stuff, which we did, but no one else.” He nodded.

“Just not for too long,” He said, “Or at least once we know that baby’s developing fine.” You nodded and sighed.

“I was hoping having our first child together wouldn’t be this stressful.” You admitted, almost shamefully in a way.

“It’s okay, sugar.” He put his hand on your thigh and gave it a light squeeze. “We’re going to make the best of it, okay? You have a little less than five months left on your tour and then I get to take a break. This’ll work out just fine.” You nodded, placing your head on his shoulder as you knew he was right.

“You make everything better, Gee.” You said, playing with his hand as he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“I’ll do it for you, sweetheart.”