#i would die if someone who knew anything about music could find a way to let us hear this

[beegomess]

M.R. || I would die for her... I would kill for her.

Summary: His relationship with Mattheo appeared in a beautiful and soft way, contrasting with the way he was, but life has its surprises. Warnings: a little cute, obscene, +18.

Orders are open!

Mattheo saw you for the first time near the Black Lake, on an afternoon when the sun shone brightly, and a warm breeze danced softly through the air. You were sitting on the lawn next to Pansy, talking distractedly, not even realizing that Riddle was there. He watched you with a fascination that he couldn't explain right away.

If someone asked him when exactly he fell in love with you, the answer would change every time. Sometimes, Mattheo would say that it was at that moment by the lake, when his soft laughter mixed with the sound of the breeze. Other times, he would mention the time you laughed loudly in the library for something your friend said, receiving a stern look from the librarian who could not erase the sparkle in your eyes. Maybe it was when you smiled timidly when you realized that he was watching you during classes, or when he asked him for a cigarette in the Astronomy Tower, ignoring the party that took place in the Slytherine Communal Room.

But the truth is that all these memories were just different ways of saying the same thing: Mattheo was hopelessly in love with you in all these moments.

Your relationship was a perfect combination of deep friendship and an intense romance. Mattheo was known for his explosive temperament and his tendency to get into trouble, but something about you brought out a different side of him. Although everyone believed that you had changed him, you always made a point of correcting this thought, insisting that he had only discovered a side of you that made him happy.

Mattheo, on the other hand, never denied this influence. For him, you were the reason why he wanted to be better. And this was not something he easily admitted, but the fact that you were together, living such a serene relationship and, at the same time, full of adventures, was proof that he was willing to do anything for you.

On the silent nights when you escaped to the Astronomy Tower or hid near the Forbidden Forest, Mattheo provoked you with words that brought out the desire he felt for you, and the way your eyes crossed made it impossible to deny what was between you. At parties, he liked to watch you, your look possessive and full of pride, while others looked at you with admiration. He knew that, no matter how hard they tried, no one could take away from you the smile he was able to provoke.

The way you laughed when Mattheo took you on these adventures was the same now, during the party at the Slytherin communal. Your lips accompanied the lyrics of the song, and the smile you displayed was illuminated by the cigarette that, from time to time, you brought while dancing with Pansy. From the couch, her boyfriend watched the conversation between Theo and Zabini without getting involved, his attention totally focused on the way you moved to the rhythm of the music.

Suddenly, you feel the pair of brown eyes fix on you and find his malicious look. Without interrupting what he was doing, he continues to dance and stares at him, while Mattheo smiles mischievously when he realizes his intentions. He gets up and goes to you with decisive but calm steps, as if there were no hurry.

When he approaches, you hang your arms over his shoulders, while he holds your waist firmly, pulling you closer. This causes a smile on your face already slightly drunk. Their faces lean until finally their lips meet in a hot and passionate kiss.

The taste of alcohol mixed with nicotine didn't bother you. In fact, it only increased his desire for him. The tightness at his waist increased as Mattheo's warm lips went down from his lips to his sensitive neck, shivering his skin almost instantly.

- You look beautiful in this outfit, dear, but I'm really going to have to take it away from you... - His whisper close to your ear makes something even more powerful go through your body, as if Mattheo had connected something to you.

The hands that were previously on his waist began to descend possessively to his hips and the soft flesh of his ass was tight over the skirt, causing a little laugh of yours, a very characteristic, in fact, easily confused with a moan perhaps? He smiled when he heard his voice so close to him, starting to feel that he would do whatever you wanted if you promised to reward him.

However, the idea of provoking even more came to your mind, knowing that this would certainly bring consequences to you. Thus, her body turned, pressing her back against Mattheo's chest, who quickly held her hips again, pressing against her body, making her feel the growing bulge under his clothes. Anyway, you ignored him, continuing to dance, casually, letting their bodies touch each other.

Riddle's situation was almost unsustainable now, the way you brushed your body on his while dancing was making things too hard. Until an alert was necessary that only made you widen your smile.

- That's enough, Y/N. - Mattheo's voice seemed more tense, almost irritated when he quickly turned you in front of him again.

Her smile widened as she approached her boyfriend's neck like a snake cornering a prey.

- What is it, Matt? Is there anything bothering you? - Your hand slowly went down over the front of Riddle's body, which breathed heavily when you just stroked him lightly on the fabric of the pants. - Do you want me to help you?

The only answer you received was a squeeze on your wrist, pushing your hand away. His face walked away, looking for Mattheo's eyes, who stared at his face with an overwhelming possessiveness as he released the impatient air, making it clear who really guided things between you.

- Oh, do you want to help me? - He asks firmly, making his heart race while his eyes seem to hypnotize him. You nod positively, making a frighteningly malicious smile form on Mattheo's face, which approaches his ear, to the point of feeling his breathing against your skin.

- So, be a good girl and let me fuck you now.

Your breathing stopped for a moment in surprise, it was not uncommon for sex between you to be in places like this, but here it certainly took you by surprise, in a good way. Mattheo didn't give you time, just pulling you into the crowd, going towards the communal bathroom.

When he closed the door, he walked with you until your back hit the cold marble of the sink, cornering you like a prey. His eyes never leaving his own, until he was finally close to the point that their bodies were pressed again. His darkened eyes went down to his neckline, staring at how his breasts looked delicious crushed in that way.

- Turn around. - His voice sounds firm and you answer, looking at him through the mirror.

The brown eyes look at you again as his icy hand moves the strands of hair away from his neck, making room for his mouth to do whatever it wants with that area. Your eyes weigh as soon as Mattheo's lips touch your sensitive skin.

The kisses are soft and wet, alternated with light bites still with the look on his face, capitating every reaction of yours. Riddle's hand went up under his skirt, feeling the moisture almost run down his thighs. His breathing comes out heavy when he feels him move away from the tissue, passing two fingers through his folds. A wide smile opens on Mattheo's face who admires the way you squirm under his touches.

- What is it, dear? Do you want anything? - This time Riddle's voice is the one that comes out disguised. His low moans increased in anxiety when he threatened to get his two fingers into you, but never really putting them.

Your order comes out in a whimper that makes you smile even more. His head resting on Mattheo's shoulder as he watched his face squirm every time he provoked.

- I didn't hear it, love. What did you say?

- Please... - Your voice comes out like a whisper when, suddenly, you feel him slide his fingers into you.

A loud moan escapes from your lips, like music to his ears as he watches you expand your chest in a heavy breath as he uses his fingers on you, stretching your walls, preparing so that it is not so uncomfortable later.

- Damn, you look so beautiful like that... - That came out more like a loud thought, a confession of Mattheo's worship for his body reflected in the mirror.

With this, the movements increased, as if he were increasingly instigated, removing his fingers slowly, making a complaint escape from you. Riddle observes with fascination the way his fingers drip his juices, pulling the small fabric from under his skirt down with voracity as he hurried to open his belt.

His eyes were lost, Mattheo removed his fingers just as his orgasm was approaching. However, your lack went through feeling something heavy passing between your thighs, gathered all and any liquid of yours that tried to escape from you, while the beats of the party's music were still heard through the door.

Riddle fascinated with the way you raised for him just buried himself in you, pulling his hip against him, feeling every piece of yours squeezing him. You knew that from here, there would be no way to contain the moans that would come. On the other hand, Mattheo took advantage of his every moan, every noise of their bodies clashing, seeing how his breasts jumped with the movement and how you swallowed him perfectly, almost as if sucking everything from him, while he praised you.

Mattheo's voice just echoed in his mind, the compliments of how you were accepting him so much or how he would like to do that all the time only left you more shozy going towards his high.

You were a complete mess at this point, your feet almost came out of the ground every time he pushed you, your hands stained the mirror in an attempt to hold on and your eyes began to close little by little. However, your body felt a strong thud against Mattheo's chest, which left you standing without stopping the movements, while squeezing your neck still seeing you through the reflection in front.

- You'll watch this. - He ordered between teeth and you just obeyed, fighting against the weight of your eyelids.

Your eyes rolled and your legs began to lose strength as you squeezed around Mattheo, who quickly noticed your arrival.

- Come on, honey, make a mess. - Your orgasm only came faster with the way he talked to you. - Damn, you're hot as hell.

After that, your bodies hit each other a few more times until you felt it fill you as you always did. Upon leaving you, Mattheo helped you to pull yourself together while he did the same.

When you left, the door was opened, you and Mattheo found some people quite irritated by the delay, but these dissatisfied faces soon began to neutralize each other when they saw that it was Riddle who was there, a response to his fame as the son of the Dark Lord.

____________________________

masterlist

xoxo, bee🫶🏼

[coco-loco-nut]

Down Bad

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: a heartbreak like no other

a/n: it’s super short, sorry

masterlist ttpd masterlist

________

You should've known better. Really. You aren't the kind of girl that a hot, 29-year-old, Spanish Formula One driver would like. Of course, you are beautiful, but apparently not enough for him. His attention was fleeting, leaving you just another one of his conquests in a long string of girls like you.

You met Carlos while interning in Madrid during the Winter. At the time you didn't realize he was love-bombing you, only to drop you cold once your internship ended a month later and you went home, practically shipped away by him. For a moment you knew, or thought you knew, extraordinary love, but it wasn't real. Was anything real anymore?

“Sweetheart, you need to stop moping,” your mom says from the doorway of your bedroom. “You know I love you, but if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you are a moody teenager,” you know your mom means well, but the last bit struck hard.

“Fine, I’m going for a run,” you groan, rolling out of bed. She leaves your room, seemingly appeased. It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, lace up your trainers, and play your angsty playlist through your headphones.

You take the path you know by heart, the one you take when you need to be away from people. When you are sufficiently alone, you let it all out.

Crying and running may not be the wisest idea, but it’s cathartic to you. You stop when you get to the meadow and lay down, staring at the cloudy sky. As the music plays, you yell the lines that hit too close to home. I might just die, it would make no difference. Fuck you if I can’t have us.

Fuck. You need to get over him. Everything just feels so hollow now, like you were stripped of everything you are and ever were. You just want to talk to your friends about it, but you know them. They will call you nuts, saying that it never really happened, that Carlos Sainz would never date you.

So instead, you lay in this field, thinking about when you were heaven struck. You might just not get up, stay down while you are down bad for someone who doesn’t even care about your existence anymore.

Maybe you were abducted by an alien to another, then returned back to this spot. That could explain it. Explain why you are feeling the angst of a scorned teenage girl, when you have more emotional maturity than that. You are 22 after all.

It’s how you imagine it feels like to lose the touch of a twin flame. I guess being love bombed then abandoned would do that to you.

The more you think about it, the more the alien analogy seems to fit. It’s like he beamed down from a ship, did a hostile takeover on your heart, the alien encounters closer and closed as each day passed. And you let them happen, willingly.

It started with a hello, then coffee, then a stroll, then a lunch, then a drive, then a dinner, then a night spent together, two, three, four, it spiraled. He did everything he could to worm his way into your heart, only for him to say it’s over.

Maybe you will take the ship, go to some planet and find an alien who can understand all of it. How dare he do everything he could to make you fall in love, only to leave you stranded. How is that romantic? You were in love, and fuck him if you can’t have him because of his actions.

You stare at the sky, music pumping through your headphones, willing the sky to part and reveal the alien spaceship that will beam you up to it in a cloud of dust and take you away.

Minutes pass until you realize your efforts are worthless, you mentally wave goodbye to the ship that carries him (and his pet names and his perfect dates) with it. Shedding a few tears on your run home, you start rebuilding yourself with each step. The hurt and pain slowly being chipped away.

No man with EVER make you feel this down bad again.

[miss-dollette]

Just some insight into Ghiaccio's mind about his paranoia surrounding you.

Tw: Mention of prostitution. Emotionally abusive relationship. Paranoia.

This man is fucked up. Like, really fucked up. It comes with Passione package. But he's a lover boy. You unintentionally have this man stressed out, lol.

Oh, and see how many music references I make in this, if you can.

He looks like he's thinking deeply about something. This isn't his angry face, but I see this as one of his resting faces. Probably thinking about what I wrote.

After Ghiaccio had yelled at you and storming off into the night, and you crying in your bed, he'd return at three in the morning, with bruised knuckles, and just watch you sleep.

There would be so much he would want to say, but he just can't get them past his lips the right way. It's deeply frustrating for him. All those feelings stirred his mind around, and all of them led to the single image of you leaving him.

He didn't know why he did what he did. He didn't know why he just blew up in anger, yelling at you, and then running away like some coward. He's just like some damn dog who doesn't know why the fuck it bit the owner it protects with its life. He just did, and he couldn't come up with a reasonable reason why it happened. Not a damn one.

He couldn't lose you. You are just too good to be true. Someone like you just doesn't belong in this cruel world. A heavenly being on this cruel plane of existence - an error in the system.

You're one of the few people in this world that he'd be picky with his words as with. He'd look at your precious, innocent face, and his chest would drop. He couldn't believe someone like you could exist - and he'd be the one who could call you his.

He would spend countless nights in his mind, wondering what your reaction would be if you saw what he was truly capable of. The blood on his hands, the countless lives he has taken, the wounds he has inflicted on others just to release pent-up anger.

You knew he had a temper, but to what extent? What would take it too far? What would make you finally realize he was a fucking monster.

You already knew he was in passione, but you didn't know what he does in it. You probably thought he was some petty thug, beating the shit out of sleezebags who offended his bosses boss.

What will you do when you find out the truth? That he's not some pitiful, wannabe mafioso, and he's one of the real deals? As real as it could get, and in the most dangerous teams in Passione?

You'd turn him away. He just couldn't handle that thought. You're the first person who ever made him question his path in life.

Passione is for life. He would live as a mafioso and die as one. But you... you made him wish you had been the one to catch him at his lowest.

You were his first in a lot of things. His first love, his first true intimate experience, and the only person who'd ever held him and loved him. You weren't some Passione whore he'd discard after the service. You were... you.

Whatever you do, just please, please don't leave him. He'd beg if he needed to. Please don't make him look so pathetic. Please have mercy on him. Don't twist the knife you have in his chest any further.

You don't know the power you have over such a headstrong, egotistic guy like him. He always considered himself strong, but you made him weak.

Tomorrow, he'd take you on a date and buy you something nice. He'd wrap his arm around your shoulders and feel your warmth through his clothes. Then he'd make love to you and fall asleep with you in his arms.

He'd do anything but apologize. But you will be loved...

[messyhairedhazeleyeddude]

Detriment | Jujutsu Kaisen

A Yuji Itadori / Sukuna x Fem!Reader | ANGST + SMUT

Contents ; Angst, violence, sadism, slight non-con, gore details, voyeurism, and humiliation.

Dynamic ; Soft Dom!Itadori | Hard Dom!Sukuna | Sub!Fem!Reader

P.O.V ; Third

Pronouns used ; She/Her

Age Range ; 18+ | College Years

(Wow! What a great way to start this off, huh? Don’t be nervous. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Grab some snacks if you want and curl up into whatever blanket you got. Listen to some music too, here’s something I recommend as always.)

━ ━°⌜ 始まり ⌟°━ ━ | Translation : The Beginning |

Sorcerors barely have time for love. That was agreed upon everyone who lived in the profession. No one among Jujutsu High could go for a relationship grander than a simple fling or a couple of flirtatious exchanges with someone outside the school.

If they did marry eventually, the couple wouldn’t go without a very rocky path ahead of them. Either one would die in battle and the other would follow suit in depression or it would turn for the worse in causing the pair to resent each other. Barely anything in between.

Succession only came with retiring from sorcery which rarely happened. It was too dangerous to leave the life behind. And for Yuji Itadori, he was trapped there until his life ended. So, with all of that that in mind, why was she on a date?

He was staring at the girl he had a crush on for almost the entire semester leaning her head on the shoulder of Toge Inumaki, sleeping soundly as he patted her. Grief writhed itself in his expression and a couple of tears began to brim the corners of his eyes.

The defeated boy turned around from the sight and laid his forehead on both of his arms, trying to wipe away his heartbreak. While both of his peers, Nobara and Megumi tried their best to rush over to him to spout nonsensical comfort. He was just running away from them not too long ago. The two were acting weird and awkward, hushing things to each other.

When he found out that it was about (Y/N) from the small whisper of her name, he bugged them over and over to let him in on the gossip. Eventually, he gave up and went to find out for himself. He wished he never heard a single murmur now.

Before Itadori knew it, he was full blown sobbing against the brick staircase. He knew he shouldn’t feel this terrible about something that was destined to never happen in the first place. Although, that didn’t change anything on what he felt. Even as both of his classmates watched him have the breakdown. Nothing stopped the rage from coming to him.

Hyperventilating, Yuji stood back onto both feet, mumbling to himself while his reality was shifting into different colors. Something was wrong. He noticed what he was feeling instantly. But, that couldn’t be right. Sukuna had no reason to come out. Why would he waste his time on this?

The loss of control on his emotions gave him a huge disadvantage when trying to hold back the king of curses. It felt like his limbs were being crushed as he fought him. Worst thing about it wasn’t the pain though, it was the fact he could hear him.

“You’re really going to let a man that can’t even speak get her like that, huh?” Sukuna bellowed out in his head, “How pathetic!” So that was it. He was here to taunt him.

If Itadori could, he would beat into his skull all of the anger that was running through his veins currently. But, he was no match for him. He understood that as soon as his body felt numb and all he could do was watch him take over. Once again.

A smirk appeared over the huge frown that was there a second ago, markings appearing and disappearing to signify who was truly present. Both Megumi and Nobara jumped back with their bodies positioned in a fighting stance, bringing out their closest weapons to point them at Sukuna.

They both had a terrified look to their eyes, focused on keeping a safe distance, and guarded for anything that he tried. Although, they also knew that it wouldn’t do to stop him and they’d probably die any minute.

Sweat dripped down from Megumi’s forehead as he shouted at the evil curse, “Sukuna! Return Itadori or else!” He summoned his demon dogs who immediately went to lowering themselves and approaching him slowly. A part of him was worried it was the end already, but he could tell that Sukuna still didn’t have his full potential. He was weak.

Nobara wanted to add in her own demands too, “We aren’t afraid to pummel ourselves into the ground with you until you do.” Even though it was shaky, she held up three nails in each of her fingers, auras of cursed energy embedded in every single one. Her eyes gave off a bit of a crazier look while she grinned back at him.

It was right there that the demon himself clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth several times at them, “Tch, tch, tch…” The red flared in his orbs while his sharp teeth brimmed his bottom lip, letting them soak in his frightening presence.

As much as he wanted to kill them, Itadori was fighting hard on the inside, and he didn’t have enough time before Satoru would show up. That meeting had to wait. So, he decided he would ‘clear the air’ and that was through forcefully grabbing Nobara by the neck; lifting her up while disabling her nails and hammer by using his ability, ‘Dismantle’.

He dug his fingernails into her neck, causing her to grab at his wrist, struggling to breath. Megumi unleashed the demon dogs, the shikigami’s rushing to his legs and opening their jaws to bite. But they didn’t get to latch their teeth in as they were cut into a million pieces in an instant.

Closing his eyes, Sukuna took in a deep inhale and sighed out in satisfaction, “I can smell her. That raw power. No wonder this kid is drawn.” His smirk widened and he cracked his neck, throwing Nobara to the side, and causing her to slide on the concrete before hitting her back on a stone wall.

Megumi yelled out her name, rushing over to her side while Sukuna began walking towards the direction of (Y/N), his hands shoving themselves into his pockets. He continued, “I’m here to give him a hand… And take something that was meant to be mine.” The excitement in his voice never wavered. It increased.

All at once, Megumi threw the rest of his shikigami’s toward him, but none were able to get past his attacks. Every time, they were slashed into tiny pieces and a puddle of blood and guts. The black-haired boy fell to his knees next to Nobara, picking her up in his arms and checking to see if she was okay.

Nothing else stopped him from approaching the girl anymore. Instead, he got to her. Inumaki tried to say something before he could reach them, but it was too late because by the time he opened his mouth, Sukuna opened his domain.

“Domain Expansion. Malevolent Shrine.”

Everything was shrouded in black. Then the piles of bones surrounded him, leaving him on top of the throne of the fossils left behind from his victims, sitting like he was a king. He was, in terms.

(Y/N) stared up at Sukuna with terror in her expression, stumbling backwards until she fell onto her knees. “No… No… What’s going on?” she looked down at her palms shaking, her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to level herself.

That didn’t work. She was left freaking out. Who wouldn’t be? This was guaranteed death. She was facing her end. And it was all because she was too weak. There was no way she would come out of this. She was facing the top of the food chain in regards to power. But, why?

“You have something of mine,” as if answering her question, he declared that out loud. His fingers pressing into the side of his forehead as he observed her with amusement. The robes he was wearing shifted when he began to stand, scaling down the mountain using all the skulls as stairs.

(Y/N) knew what he was talking about once he said it, putting her right hand over her left to cover the finger she kept. They had stitched it onto her body a long time ago. It was cruel attempt at keeping it safe. But, it worked. Until now.

He chuckled, “You can’t seriously be wanting to keep that thing on you forever, (Y/N)?” Using the last bits of bones to dismount off of the pile onto the ground. He was leveled with her. Sukuna was in front of her.

She heard of him millions of times, especially since she was the keeper of one of his fingers, but she always liked to think of it as some stupid horror story. Forgetting how real it was made this ten times harder for her to swallow. It was worse when she became friends with Itadori considering how sweet he was. The growing crush on him was beyond terrifying. Exactly for this reason. Wait, what was the reason for him being here?

He knelt down, gripping her chin with two fingers, his sharp nails poking underneath her jaw while tilting her head to make her look him in the eyes. Glaring down at her with that same crooked smile, he muttered out a question, “You like having my power, hm?”

The panicking girl didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t have one, really. It was a yes, possibly. But, at the same time, she knew who it came from. And seeing him here didn’t convince her to want it anymore. He couldn’t have it though. No way in hell was she going to hand it over.

Sukuna seemed to pick up on this because he started to gradually laugh louder and louder, his eyes widening along with the the second pair on his cheeks. (Y/N) watched him, paralyzed out of fear, and shook when he cackled out, “You know what?! I’m feeling in a generous mood today! Itadori, you watching this?”

It looked like he was shouting at no one. But, she knew that the original boy that she was friends with was witnessing everything and that made her sick to her stomach. Sick at what this monster could do to him.

Then without hesitation, as if he got his answer, her hand was raised into the air and she wasn’t able to pull it away. Sukuna bit off the entire tip of the finger that was already connected to her nerves, making her scream at the top of her lungs, and writhe in agony.

He swallowed the chunk and slammed a palm onto her head, pushing her down into the concrete of his domain as it felt like knives sliced across her thighs and arms. “What were you doing with Inumaki?” his voiced lowered while asking.

That was confusing more than anything to hear. Why would he ask that? Why was he concerned about that? So many questions flew through her head but she had to respond, his impatience was obviously short from how hard he was gripping her. She choked on her sentence, managing to piece it together, “He was teaching me how to control cursed energy better. I passed out from trying too hard…”

A hum vibrated out of his throat, his hand no longer crushing her head in while he laughed manically for another moment. “Ohoho, that’s gotta be the best thing I’ve heard all my years alive! And to think, the kid was so worried about you, he was breaking his own soul!”

Whatever Sukuna was talking about, it was hard for her to understand. Hell, she couldn’t make sense of it even after he had that fit with himself. Instead, she was left to deal with the confusion as the cursed man moved forward with what else he had planned.

Each piece of her clothing was cut off of her, shredded onto the floor, and leaving (Y/N) naked. She couldn’t even feel it happening. It was the cold that made her get what he was doing.

But, there was nothing for her to attempt. She would die if she refused. And what he said, it was right. He was feeling in a good mood if this is what he was deciding to do to her. She’s heard of the torture he’s committed, the massacres, what he was doing was simply nothing compared to the rest. And Itadori. If he was witnessing her being raped and it was by his body, it would be horrible for him after it’s over.

(Y/N) had to save Yuji. So, as Sukuna dug his nails into her hips and stripped his robes off, she let out one last request, “Can it please be Itadori first if you’re going to do this? Please…” He stopped what he was doing automatically.

The King of Curses ended up thinking about it despite the brutal urge he had to destroy them mentally, hearing the shocked voice of the trapped boy wondering what she just suggested.

He had to admit. It was amusing to see the guy in such a state. Snickering, he obliged and said his last words before letting him take back control, “For now, I will. This comes with a price. I hope you know that, (Y/N)”

Itadori gasped when he slipped back into his own body, looking down at her and coming face-to-face with his naked crush’s back. A huge blush swept across his cheeks and he stuttered in surprise and panic, “He let me? H-He hurt… He killed Megumi’s shikigami’s… He.. did this to you.. I did this. I let him. I wasn’t-“

Before he could spiral further, she reached up to him and turned to face toward his chest, pressing her lips on his. He needed to stop thinking if he was going to succeed. She couldn’t afford much more time with him, they were on a limit.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and she parted from him to encourage, “Do it. Just fuck me, Itadori. Don’t think about anything. I want you to be the one, not him.” That was enough for him to listen.

Positioning himself awkwardly, he pressed against her folds to prepare her and himself. There was so much to worry about and so much for him to do. But, here he was, having sex with the one girl he’d been fantasizing about for weeks. Yeah, it was great having her like this. What about Inumaki? Everyone? What could he do?

Itadori finally got to pushing himself inside, his pupils wide, and his jaw hanging open as he panted out a couple of noises. It was the best feeling he’s ever had. Warm and fit perfectly around him. Just like he thought it would. But better.

He criticized himself in his thoughts, ‘You shouldn’t be enjoying this.’ He tried to put himself down over and over. But, it was ignored by a thrust. And then another. And another. Until he was at a pace that made both of them stuck in the act. Her hands wrapped around his neck, matching her legs as she gave up.

Her body felt like it was going limp, loosely hanging on as her (E/C) eyes were looking up at him in a daze. The aggression in him instinctively increased and before he processed what he was doing, he was pouring every emotion he had into ramming her. She stuttered out moans from the impact each time, her nails finding themselves latching into his back, and clawing down slowly; blood trailing right behind.

There was twinges of pain because of how careless he was becoming and that rage seemed to only be getting worse. She summed it up to him venting out what he could considering they were both in an impossible situation. But, when he leaned forward to the crook of her neck, she heard the rasp of the voice she was dreading to hear, “Time’s up.”

Once they switched, (Y/N) noticed the difference immediately between the two of them. His hand shot to her neck and he dragged his black nails against it, teasing her by softly squeezing at first. Even though that squeeze was still tight enough to make her choke.

Sukuna used his teeth to rip into her shoulder, biting deep into her skin until blood was rushing down the crevices of her chest. She let out a piercing scream that started to crack underneath the pressure of his palm.

He was ruthless. There was no time to adjust to the strength he exerted, only time to cry. She couldn’t see what he was doing to her, but she felt it. And it was so intense that her legs went numb. The sounds of his hips colliding with hers was a loud and sharp slap. Red marks were left on the inner corners of her thighs and exactly where he was aiming all of his force.

When he pulled away from attacking her left side, half of it was covered in a sea of red, all from the amount of times he had sunk his canines in. Pleasure tried to ease the ache for you, it never succeeded because of his cruel treatment.

Any time she moaned, another slice from his technique would cut at her body. And despite her losing so much blood, she was still awake. Hanging on by a thread. That thread being Itadori. She could see a mix of displeasure, sadness, anger, satisfaction, and pure insanity all within the red eyes that took place over his honey brown ones. She really missed that color.

Her eyes were starting to close no matter what after a couple of minutes trying to fight the response to his abuse. But, before they shut, a sound of multiple footsteps stumbling in the domain made her snap her head toward them.

Inumaki, Nobara, and Megumi were looking back at her in devastation. Her pupils shrunk, eyes went wide, and she shrieked out to them, “NO! GET OUT-“

Not even a second thought to it, (Y/N) released her technique, ‘Barrier’, and both Nobara and Inumaki were protected from Sukuna. Except for Megumi. She didn’t have enough in her. He instantly got slashed across the chest, staining his navy black uniform with red, and causing him to fall back.

Megumi Fushiguro was the first put in critical condition.

The skewered girl cried as she was picked up by her hair off of the ground and slammed onto a manifested desk of what resembled flesh. She was stuck staring at her two classmates, exposed and defiled.

Nobara shouted at the top of her lungs, “You sick evil bastard! Let go of her or I’ll shove nails into-” She couldn’t finish before she was incapacitated by his technique. The worst cut being the one on her arm, almost severing it in half and leaving her to grab at it to make sure it didn’t.

Nobara Kugisaki was the second.

(Y/N) tried to plead at Sukuna, hoping that anything she said would convince him to stop, “YOU CAN HAVE ME! NOT THEM! DON’T KILL THEM! PLEASE!”

His narrow sadistic eyes flickered from Inumaki to her back, swiping a tongue across his lips as he chuckled darkly, “What? You want me to save your little boyfriend?” By the sound of that, it was like he was jealous. But, what she was hearing wasn’t correct. She had no relationship with Inumaki and how was he jealous?

Using that, she corrected him, deciding that sparing time with conversation was the route to go, “I have no feelings for Toge… Why are you suggesting it?” Grunts spilled in the middle of her sentence but she was heard.

And he answered with a bloodthirsty grin, “Word got around. Being cuddled up next to someone in broad daylight isn’t friendly, is it?” It was hard to respond with him continuing to fuck her, especially when it was directly in front of Inumaki and Nobara. The shame she was experiencing was like no other and she could no longer look up at their faces.

So, she ended up sobbing by the time she could let it out, “That wasn’t! Anything! I just fell asleep! I JUST FELL ASLEEP!” Her cries grew louder and more desperate, the cursed speech user feeling the exact same way as he ran for them. He couldn’t just watch her die like this. He couldn’t.

Pulling down the neck cover he had, (Y/N) shook her head at the sight of Toge and panicked. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t shut her eyes and watched the white-haired boy shout out a command, “ESCAPE!”

Instantly, she was lifted from Sukuna’s grasp into the air by an invisible force, looking down in surprise at Megumi and Nobara following with. She wished she hadn’t though as she witnessed Inumaki sputtering out blood and collapsing to the ground, limp. That terrible grin never left his face as he glanced up at them being sent out of his domain, winking at (Y/N) like he was telling her, ‘See you later.’

Toge Inumaki was the last.

When everyone made it outside and onto the grass, all of the Jujutsu Sorceror’s were working on getting Sukuna under control again. Gojo being the one to relocate the students to aid while forcing his way into the domain that vanished seconds later.

She won’t ever forget the look on Itadori’s face, covered in her blood, and the disgust in his eyes the moment he locked them with hers. His hands were resting on his lap in front of him and thankfully, his clothes were back to the way they should be. But, it was like the spark in his soul faded. She understood that what Sukuna had planned, worked. From then on, they both were never going to forget what happened.

Yuji Itadori will cease all contact with (Y/N) (L/N).

[dearsnow]

KNOW IT’S FOR THE BETTER

- what exactly ran through neil perry’s mind before he pulled the trigger. (neil perry x gn!reader although it’s definitely an emotion piece rather than an x reader, angst, ⚠️ dead poets society spoilers, canon-typical main character death, suicidal ideation, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SUICIDE AND ITS THOUGHT PROCESS)

word count: 392

a/n - this is not proofread LMAO we die like men! and yes yes this is another music piece, based on waiting room by phoebe bridgers. yesterday was neil’s death anniversary, so this is a tribute to that. love y’all, and please read the message at the end.

Neil held cold metal in the palm of his hand, his fingers trembling over the shiny object. God, he thought, let them know it’s for the better.

Let Todd know that he never found another person that understood him as greatly and as openly as he did. Let him know that he is proud of him for changing so much in such little time. He doesn’t need him anymore, Neil thought. Now, he can fade away while someone else steps into the spotlight. It was always for the better.

Let Charlie know that he loved him because he could not always understand, and yet he tried. That they were kids together, and in a few months, Charlie will be older than Neil ever got to be. He deserves it. He deserves to be older, to be independent, to love freely and carelessly like he has always wanted. If Neil’s absence could push him forward and stop him from caring about how his friend felt, he knew it was for the better.

Let Mr. Keating know that his impact was far greater than he could ever imagine. His influence encouraged Neil to scale mountains. In the end, though, there is always a choice; to glide on wax wings or painstakingly climb back down. That, in death, he flew.

Let you know that he loved you. That he always loved you. That your whispered words were ichor to his ears, your touch a saccharine balm to the parts of him that ached the most. If he thought about it, he thought that in the entirety of his life, he would never find someone who made him shiver in the exact way that you did. He wants more than anything to tell you that everything he did is for you. You deserve better. Know it’s for the better, because the loss of him will surely open up your future to the same unearthly love that you brought to him.

Let his parents know that he will no longer be a problem.

Let the dead poets know that he is soaring.

Let everyone on the godforsaken planet he is leaving know that this is what happens when the sun’s heat caresses the skin on his back.

Let them know that everything is for the better.

Please, please know

if nothing else,

it is for the better.

[suicide is never for the better, and it should never be any option at all. if you are struggling with this thought process or any mental health issues, i strongly advise you seek professional help, but my inbox and messages are always open if you need friendly comfort. please come to me if you ever need it. i love you guys.]

[edsheeranong]

Sweet Pea x Fem OC

pt. 6

archie andrews twin sister, delilah, is fed up with him being overprotective. so when a cute serpent offers her an opportunity, she can't turn it down

"please," she tugged at his jacket. "just one night."

"i don't do musicals," he argued.

"im begging. kev isn't gonna let me skip it and i don't want to go alone," she pouted her lips. "think about fangs."

"okay fine," he huffed.

"yay, thank you. i'll see you tonight," she skipped off.

they sat in the auditorium, both zoned out until cheryl started yelling. looking at the stage, midge was pinned to the wall with knives through her body and blood smeared all over it.

"i am back from the dead

all those who escaped me before will die

B.H."

sweet pea looked over at delilah who looked like she was about to throw up. everyone started piling out of the room but delilah felt frozen in place. she could feel a hand tugging on her arm but she couldn't get out of her seat.

most of the room had been emptied by the time sweet pea could get her up. he basically had to carry her out but eventually he got her outside.

"where's my dad?" she choked out.

"delilah," he whispered. "he's okay."

"you saw what it said, my dad could be next," she tried to pry his hands off of her. "he could already be dead."

"delilah stop," he gripped her wrists tighter. "the black hood is dead."

at this point she was hyperventilating and he didn't know what to do.

"we'll find him," he promised. tears were rolling down her face and he squeezed her hands.

hé didn't want to leave her there but he didn't think she could walk. he was frantically looking around trying to find anyone who could help as she continued to freak out.

he pulled her into a hug and kept talking to her, trying to calm her down. after what felt like forever she heard her name.

"delilah," her dad yelled, running over to her. sweet pea pulled away from her and let mr andrews take over.

he stood off to the side and mr andrew's held his crying daughter. she was mumbling something into his shoulder but neither of them could understand what she was saying.

eventually she calmed down and pulled away from her dad. at the same time archie ran up to them, still in costume.

"dad," he pulled his dad into a hug. "i was so worried."

sweet pea sat next to delilah and wiped the tears off her face. he kissed her forehead wrapped his arm around her shoulder. the way she looked up at him made his heart feel tight.

he hated seeing her scared. the more time he spent with her, the stronger his feelings for her got. he wanted to protect her.

but she knew that wasn't what she wanted. she always brought up that everything they had together was fake, and he often caught her looking at reggie longingly.

it was stupid of him to think, even for a moment, that she might've wanted him how he wanted her.

"it's okay," he whispered. delilah nodded, unable to say anything. her friend was dead, murdered by the black hood. but her dad was alive. she didn't know how to feel.

delilah's dad motioned for sweet pea to talk to him.

"i appreciate all you've done for my daughter. i know archie hasn't made it easy for you, but i would like it if you stuck around," mr andrews said.

"i will, mr andrews," sweet pea confirmed.

"thank you. i don't want delilah being alone. even if the black hood isn't back, another girl has been killed. i'd feel safer with her around you."

"i understand, i'll make sure she stays safe," sweet pea told him. mr andrews patted him on the back and went back to his children.

delilah suffered through the next few days. there was tons of speculation about whether it was the actual black hood or someone else. she basically refused to leave her room. she refused to talk to anyone.

sweet pea had come by three times and every time she pulled away from him and they sat in silence. he tried to get her to talk but she would just look at him with sad eyes. and he wasn't sure what to do about it. she wasn't crying. in fact she hadn't shed a tear since the day of the musical. she just felt numb.

the morning of the funeral, delilah wasn't sure she could do it. she didn't want to face the reality that her friend was actually gone.

she watched midges casket being lowered into the ground and it hit her that she'd never see her again. seeing midges mom sobbing was what sent her over the edge.

she pushed through the crowd of people leaving and started running to her car. sweet pea saw her running and chased after her. she was struggling to unlock her car when she saw him.

"delilah."

that was all it took for her to start sobbing. he ran around the front of her car and grabbed her. her body went limp and basically dragged them both to the ground.

she sat on the snowy ground crying into his arms. he rubbed her back and let her. he didn't try to talk her down. he didn't even care that he was wet and cold.

she looked up at him with red eyes.

"take me home?" she asked. it was the first time in days she had spoken.

"of course," he grabbed the keys from her hands and helped her up. she got in the passenger seat and they drove to her house in silence.

he walked her inside and up to her room.

"do you want, uh, do you want something to change into?" she sniffled, ruffling through her drawers.

"yeah, that'd be nice," he said, shocked that she was asking for him to stay. she tossed him a sweatshirt and sweatpants and grabbed some out for herself.

"whose are these?" he asked, knowing they wouldn't fit her.

"reggie's," she said. "can you unhook my dress?"

he unzipped it and she kicked it to the side. she took off the tights she had on and changed her clothes. she turned around to see he hadn't even began undressing.

"why do you have these?" he asked.

"he gave them to me, i just never returned them. i was gonna burn them on the next blue moon," she joked.

hé was glad she was feeling better but he was also wondering under what circumstances did he give her the clothes.

he took off his jacket and shirt and put the sweater on. he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall to the floor. delilah couldn't help but look, and sweet pea saw. she turned around and gave him his privacy.

"you can look," he whispered in her ear. he pressed into her back and she could feel it. it sent shivers down her spine.

she turned around and stuck her freezing hands under his shirt. he hissed and backed away from her. she smiled at him.

"i missed that smile," he said.

"just get in the bed," she smacked his shoulder.

she crawled into her bed and he joined her. he held her hands in his and let her stick her head into his neck. she kept readjusting until she was almost fully on top of him. her lips were on his neck. on his tattoo more specifically.

he let himself enjoy the moment until he came back to his senses. he wasn't there because she liked him. he was there because he was someone she could cry on. they had been in this exact situation when they came back from shadow lake. and he doubted it would be the last time they were here.

silver lining was that she trusted him enough to do that.

but in the end she was using him.

over the next few days, delilah had started to feel better. she missed her friend dearly and couldn't go ten minutes without hearing something about it, but she was feeling better.

putting a few things back into her locker, she felt something on her shoulders. turned her head to see sweet pea putting his flannel over her.

"i'm not cold," she said, starting to take it off.

"you shouldn't be wearing that," he pushed it back on her.

"and why would that be?"

"because you have a boyfriend," he snapped.

"do i though," she whispered. he was becoming increasingly annoyed with her.

"everyone thinks you do," he said. "what kind of boyfriend would i be if i let you walk around like this?" he gestured at her outfit.

"the not controlling kind who trusts his girlfriend?" she smiled.

"i almost just beat some guys ass for talking about how hot you look," he said.

"aww is someone jealous," she teased.

"just put the damn shirt on," he huffed.

"fine, but i don't see what the big deal is," she said, letting him button the shirt up.

"your tits are practically out, i'm surprised you haven't gotten dress coded yet."

"that's because nobody at this school cares," she explained.

"well, whatever, either way i don't want people objectifying you," he said. "i doubt that's what you want," she shrugged at his comment. "and it's not what i want. real boyfriend or not, i don't like hearing other people talk about you like that."

"are you aware i look ridiculous?" she said, looking down at her new outfit. the sleeves went past her hands and the bottom was at her mid thigh, not to mention he had buttoned it up to the very top.

he rolled the sleeves up for her and she tucked the bottom into her bra.

"no," he pulled the shirt back down.

"yes," she put it back up, "nobody is getting turned on by my midriff."

"you don't know that," he said.

"yes i do. i'll wear the shirt for today if it makes you more comfortable, fine, but don't make this a regular thing," she rolled her eyes.

"well don't make wearing clothes like that a regular thing and it won't be," he shot back.

"you're being weird," she closed her locker.

"delilah, you're a very pretty girl, nobody in this school is going to deny that. what's weird is if you wear revealing clothes and showing yourself off like you don't have a boyfriend. this whole thing doesn't work if you don't act like you have a boyfriend," he argued.

she huffed and walked away, heading to class, more than annoyed.

[1-800-local-slut]

Decisions

Rio x Black! Fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, sad ending, lies and deceit, mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, broken family, break ups, arguing, reader has a bad mom, mention of smut, kinda creepy Rio, abusive childhood, suicidal thoughts, recreational drug use, mentions of sex but no smut, Rio calls Beth annoying but make no mistake I love me some Beth, slight canon divergence, not proof read we die like men 💪🏾

Rio get’s close to the reader, due to him having an issue with her mother. He falls for her and they start dating but 8 months into their relationship she finds out the first six months of their relationship was a lie. She realizes she can’t trust him and dumps him.

PSA: The reader has an abusive mother and no father, there's only one mention of the reader getting punched in the face. If that's something that would trigger you then please don't read for your own sake

Please let me know if you guys enjoy!

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

When he saw her for the first time, it was dark out. She was standing under the streetlight, waiting for her bus and Rio was standing in the bushes behind her. The light above made her luminescent, giving her dark skin and gorgeous glow. He didn't even know why it shocked him to see her there. He had been waiting for her after all.

It was a chilly April night, she was shivering. Rubbing her hands together and exhaling a puff of cold air. He even remembered thinking that it was weird how cold it was for April. She held her phone in her hand, her headphones lightly bled music. Rio could've stared at her all day, if only he wasn't here on business.

He needed to put some pressure on someone and this was how it needed to be done. Stepping out of the bush, Rio slid close to the target of the evening.

His eyes scanned her up and down, looking for some sort of entry point. She didn't notice him, he wasn't standing too close to her yet. With a final scan, he noticed the Jordan high tops that hugged her feet. Perfect.

Taking another step, a bigger step, he made sure his presence was known. Her eyes glanced up at him, a natural response. She carefully observed him, like she was deciding if she should take a large step away or just ignore him. The leaking music shut off and Rio fought back a smile. Best not to freak her out. It was time to finally put things into motion.

"Those shoes are nice, I was looking for a pair for my cousins quince gift but I couldn't find any in her size." Of course there was no way to start a conversation with a woman this late at night in t he middle of nowhere waiting for a bus without sounding like a creep but Rio was pressed for time.

She raised an eyebrow, and glance him up and down before she glanced at the time. Checking how much time before the bus came, smart.

"Thanks. I picked them up last week." Curt and to the point. Rio admired how quickly she went on the defense.

"They suit you. The color I mean. If you don't mind can I ask where you brought those? I just moved here, and I don't know where anything is." Her plump lips pushed into a straight line as if she was contemplating.

Mentally, he willed her to just go for it. Just take the bait, so the guy he had in the bushes who was about to take a few pictures for evidence could get something.

"Yeah, you just have to head to the store on 83rd. There's a place called Sole Symphony. You can get a good deal if you talk to the right person.

"Oh I passed that place on my drive in. I'm Rio, by the way." Extending his palm, Rio heard the bus pulling up behind them. Sure, he knew her name already. But what if he wanted to know more than just her name?

As she placed her hand in his and said her name, the doors of the bus slid open behind the two.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"Baby what do you want to eat?" She was leaning on the arm of the couch, while Rio rested his head on her lap. Clad in one of Rio's black t-shirts, and a pair of his boxers that outlined that ass he worshipped. Under the lights of her living room, she still looked radiant.

"What, you can't cook?" Rio teased, only to be playfully swatted on his head.

"Stop being annoying, I'm ordering dinner because someone's stupid self forgot to go to the grocery store."

"I forgot to go because you wanted to play around all day, so had to I come home and handle business." Rio smiled, a true smile. A smile he hadn't had in a really really long time. She giggled and bent her face closer to his, and hummed. She rubbed her thumb over his forehead, in a way that made Rio shudder.

"I only did that because you finished all my weed and then got me the wrong strain. So maybe that's your fault?" Rio rolled his eyes playfully, and accepted the soft kiss she planted on his lips.

It filled him with a warm, thick feeling. If someone made love into soup, it was filling his stomach at this very moment. Giving him a full, heavy feeling that Rio never wanted to lose. After a second they pulled apart and Rio stared deeply into her eyes. She did the same, like she could see Rio baring his soul to her.

Every now and again though, he remembered though that this was merely temporary. He never, and he cannot stress how much he means never, let himself fall for someone he was using for business. Still, some rules were meant to be broken.

Whenever he remembered that fact, when he remembered that once his debt was settled with her mother (the whole reason he approached her at that bus station in the first place), his heart died a bit.

The past four months had been nothing but a mix of stress and bliss. Stress, the stress of accidentally hurting the person who broke into his heart. Bliss, from laying with her just like this. Every night, or going to dinner with her. How six months could change a man so much was beyond him. Just being with her, even if it was technically for leverage. Though he would never hurt her.

Still, if she knew, it would hurt her more than anything. It would be like a knife, piercing her heart before twisting and causing her to bleed out unstoppably.

Realistically, speaking anyone would be. If you knew your drug addict mother got herself in too deep and your boyfriend was only with you for leverage against her, you'd be pretty cut up about it, wouldn't you?

The drug addict mother, who started exhibiting psychotic jealousy at what seemed like the moment you turned 12 , and who punched you in the mouth after you refused to be nice to her new boyfriend, who you fought so hard to get away from after your nightmare of a childhood? Who told you everyday that not only were you not shit but you'd never be shit? The mother you don't even tell people you have, like the father you never met?

How would you feel to find out that after fighting your entire life just to live a life that wasn't filled with filth, bearing your entire being to someone (the only one who knew the truth), that finally when you found happiness none of it was real? All because of the mother who you don't even acknowledge, after fighting tooth and nail to get as far as you could from, was still giving you grief.

It killed Rio to know all of this too. To see the scars that she trusted him enough to explain. To explain why she's afraid to have children of her own, to understand what made her into the beautiful, strong and confident woman she turned into too. How could Rio hurt someone who accepted him so wholly?

It made him sick to think about. Honestly, he felt like a toxic rapper who does his woman wrong and everyone but her seems to know. He felt like the definition of shit.

"...be?"

"Huh?"

"Is thai food alright with you, babe?"

"Yeah. Yeah sorry I just dosed off for a moment." Just like that, her voice was like a light shinning through the dark. Her face reflected concern, and she ran a manicured nail over his cheek. On instinct he clasped her hand in his.

"What's wrong with you?" Her voice an even whisper. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her literally everything, and he meant everything. Everything about himself, not the partly fabricated tale he told her about his life for the sake of keeping her at an arms length.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Rio gave a small chuckle.

"Nah just thinking about you mamas." Rio smirked up at her and saw her playful eye roll.

"Boy, if you don't do something with yourself." She laughed with a the smile he'd fallen in love with, pinching him on his chest and he winced before letting out a laugh. Rio grabbed his pants from the side of the couch where he hastily threw them when he came home to 'handle business'. Pulling out his wallet, he plucked his credit card out of the folds. He chuckled and handed it to her, where it was gracefully accepted. Within seconds, Rio felt like he could feel the money being pulled from his heart and his card.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, you keep an ear out for the food." She announced, slipping out from underneath him and leaving his head to connect with the couch.

"Without me though?" He watched her walk out of the living room and to her bathroom, sliding the boxers off in the process. If anything she was relentless in her desire to tease him.

"Don't be gross." She chastised, tossing her shirt off behind her and Rio admired her perfect body before she was out of sight and the door behind her closed.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"Flowers?" Beth raised an eyebrow at the large bundle in the back of his car. Rio glanced back, the flowers and immediate reminder of what was waiting for him right after this. He couldn't even fight the grin. This girl had him feeling butterflies, kicking his feet and giggling when she wasn't even there and it was only eight months.

"For my lady." It was Fall now. The changing leaves reminded Rio of his changing heart, his changing mind. How he changed so much in the last eight months in so many ways that he couldn't even describe.

Coming up on their eight month anniversary and Rio wasn't even close to playing when it came to celebrating. That big ass bouquet was just the first part. He had a pair of matching necklaces for the two of them, a set of twin cuban links with a nice romantic saying, 'Semper Fidelis' (Always Faithful) carved into them.

Especially since his relationship with Beth had been a recent source of anger between the two. In all fairness, Rio told her he was involved in the stock market, which technically wasn't a lie. She knew he did something illegal though and didn't seem to care as long as neither of them got arrested.

What he didn't explain was what a big tittied white woman was doing calling his phone in the middle of the night and why she sounded so upset when she answered instead of him. Or why there were so many calls between the two of them when Rio was at work when Rio requested she don't blow his phone up when he's at work. Or why when he came home early to have lunch with her he had to leave in the middle because Beth had been blowing his phone up during their entire meal.

Honestly though, Rio knew better than to trip about it. Shit, Rio knew he wasn't even feeling Beth's annoying ass like that. If it was him, some dude called his girl in the middle of the night then had the audacity to sound annoyed when HE answered the phone? He would've flown off the handle before the call even hung up. He'd be out of bed, pulling up his pants and boxers, grabbing his gun and his keys and half way into his shoes.

"You have a girlfriend?" Beth asked, eyes bugging out of her head, mouth open in shock. Why did she look like a salmon?

"You sound shocked. I got game, Elizabeth. Anyways, about your issue tell your FBI man that I hit or whatever." Pushing down the button, she still sat there gaping at him.

"What...?" She blinked, hushing her voice as if someone was gonna hear them. Part of him wanted to tell her to get the fuck out so he could get the fuck home. But in the past eight months, he learned how to have a bit more patience.

"Tell him we made love." Wiggling his eyebrows he made a motion for her to get out of his vehicle and she made her way out. Thank God.

Turning on his engine he winded down the window of the passenger window.

"Make me sound good." And with that he was gone.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

As crazy and inebriated as her momma was for most of her childhood, sometimes she was smart. Like when she taught her how to fight when those girls at school wanted to jump her. Like when she taught her and her sisters to never and she meant NEVER leave your sister in a pinch no matter whats going on between you three. When she taught her how to hot wire a car, and especially when to know if a man was lying.

There were more life lessons, like how to make a crack pipe on the go or how to hide from the police but what can you really learn from someone who was drunk as shit most of your life?

So imagine how shocked and confused she was when she realized 'dang. my momma was right, all niggas are liars.' because her boyfriend had been lying to her their entire relationship? Was it lying or omission? Was she gonna pack her shit and leave without a word to his no-good-low-down-lying-scheming-dirty-bastard self, or put hands on him and go to jail? Lots of decisions for a girl to make in one night. One thing she did decide on the moment she got that phone call from her mom this morning, and got those photos that were taken that first night they met: it was over.

She wished all she felt was anger but that was a lie. With Rio, no Christopher, things were easy. She really was in love, he made her heart swell up like a balloon. When she was at her worse, he was right there and understood and helped her in the best way he could. Understood her anger, understood her sadness. Whatever choice she made, he stood behind it no matter what. He wasn't the type of guy (maybe he could've been, it was clear that she had no clue who he really was) to just sit there and act like he always knew better than you. No, he listened to her, gave her an ear and when she asked for it advice.

This hurt. This wasn't just sadness and betrayal, it was despair. To know that after she fought to get away from her mother. After she got up, walked out that house with nothing but the clothes on her back and said 'if i'm homeless i'm homeless, but its better than being with you' and never saw her again it was only because of that woman that she met someone who she was so head over heels for.

Because of that woman she was sitting here, heart broken. She was sitting here, after sobbing her eyes out in disbelief, after deleting every single picture of the two out of her phone. She was sitting here drowning in rage and betrayal. No. No for once, she couldn't put all the blame on her.

Christopher made the choice to play in her face. He made the choice to waste eight months of her life. To lie, and say he loved her like would be the only woman for him. He probably was cheating on her with that white bitch (with a name like Elizabeth she had to be) and they were probably laughing at her for the past eight months cuddled up together. He made the choice and she fell for it. Outside, the lights of his car pulling up roused some sort of rage deep inside of her. A little voice in her head spoke, it said take a bottle to the backside of his head.

Taking the bottle of liquor next to her, and rearing her arm back over her head she pondered if she was really going to listen to that little voice.

It an easy decision to make.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"You stupid fuck! Really Christopher, this is what we on?" The scream, and the bottle hitting the wall right next to the door was his greeting. Not a 'hi baby, how was work' like usual. He could already guess he was not about to hit tonight.

"What the fuck? What is your problem?" He yelled back, in this instance he was justified in his screaming considering the murder attempt.

"My problem? My problem? You dickhead, your my fucking problem! You thought shit was sweet? You thought I was just gonna let it slide?" She laughed, anger literally rolling off her.

Taking a moment to look around Rio noticed a few things: the photo of them that was on the table next to her couch was tipped over, the glass shattered the frame on the ground. There was a half empty bottle of wine and a broken glass in the sink. There was a manilla folder, one that he was praying he didn't recognize (but he was starting to think he did), clutched in her shaking hand. Her curly hair was a mess, like she'd been tugging at it in anger.

Sure he knew she'd always been a little bit crazy, he was actually really into it, but did he think this was how their eighth anniversary would start? Nope.

His stomach started to drop. It had been a few months since his business with her mother ended and he was truly hoping from the bottom of his heart hoping she would never find out. He ruled out her mother somehow finally worrying about her enough to tell her.

"What is that?" Rio asked, slamming the door behind him and stepping into the apartment fully. Her neighbors only needed to hear the first part of their exchange, nothing more. She took three defiant steps backwards. The lights were all off, and only the TV was on.

"Got this in the fucking mail today." She growled, throwing the packet at his face. Clear as day, the pictures he had taken of them. For proof. One the first night they met, two on their first date, three when they went to the arcade together and played every game you both could manage and he found himself really trying to impress her. That was when he realized her had a bit of a problem. Then a few more, but eventually they stop after the first two months of their relationship.

The next four months of them being together he resorted to threats and by some miracle her mother found a way to pay off her debts and he was done with her by month six. But not using her for only two out of eight months of their relationship was not a good look.

An awkward silence settled over the two, his stomach feeling heavy. He started to feel warm from shame and fear. The room felt like it was spinning and his mouth felt dry. Even before she said it he knew that he just lost the best thing in his life.

"And some phone calls. Not only did you fucking use me, you also threatened my mom and found my sisters houses?! You dickhead, I'll kill you." She roared, throwing a near by object, which he narrowly dodged.

"Why did you play in my fucking face? For eight fucking months you decided to play in my face and be laid up with me and act like you love me, are you serious?" His head hung low, shame and disappointment and anger. Anger because he knew one thing for sure, this was no ones fault but his. He made the decisions he made. That was on no one but him.

"What you can't fucking talk now? You don't know words? But when that hoe Beth called you could sit up on the phone with her about bullshit right?" She yelled. Rio couldn't even find words. Where should he even start? Beth seemed like the worse place to start.

"Right?" She yelled again, getting in his face before stepping back and breaking into deranged laughter putting a hand on her forehead in outrage. He was panicking. What did he do? Yell at her when he knew he was wrong? Yell at himself for hurting her? What was he even supposed to do in a situation like this? A dry and tear-filled laugh shook him from his thoughts.

"Why though? Why did you do this, I trusted you. I gave you my heart, I gave you my fucking everything. If you can't trust you, then what can I trust?!" The broken sob cut through Rio like a knife. She threw her arms out and drunkenly staggered a bit. She stared, eyes pleading for an answer. An explanation. Anything? But for the first time in a long ass time, Rio had no idea what to say. He felt his palms sweat, gaze still fixed on the photos.

She would never smile at him the way she was in those pictures again. And she grinned as bright as the Sun in each photo except for the first.

When she was still met with silence, Rio resigned. He wanted to say something. Damn, why couldn't he speak? Why was he just sitting there? She was just as confused (surely more confused) as Rio.

"I can't believe this. I let you in and you really sat there and played with me. And you really don't got shit to say either? Well guess what nigga, it's done. I'll die before you hear my voice again, before you ever seem me again. And I could sit up here and yell and scream at you but you know what my momma taught me? As worthless as she was she taught me one thing: the best way to hurt a man is to move on. Get the fuck out." And just like that, before Rio could even say a word it was all over.

The next few minutes were a blur. A trash bag with all his shit was thrown out the window after he was shoved out of her apartment. All the gifts he'd gotten her, the shoes, the jewelry, even her cart that had her name custom printed on it, were tossed out there too. Rio sat out there, outside her apartment complex for what felt like hours.

Shit it probably had been hours. The flowers in the back taunted him. He wanted to stomp on them, he wanted to kick and scream at the world. Why did he fucking do that? For his job of course. Fuck that job, look where it got him. Standing outside the apartment of the love of his life.

Worse, he didn't even speak to defend himself, and she tossed him out so quick that it left his head spinning. He wasn't even sure how he walked to the elevator and made his way to his car. He wanted to die, he wanted to collapse, he wanted to go all the way back in time and tell himself to call off everything and meet her some other way. Now he lost everything that could've been lost to him.

And it was all because of his decisions.

Taglist:

@eddiemunsonreader

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Reassuring Messages From The Universe

Hi everyone! I have a feeling some people may need a pick-me-up at the moment hence why I made this reading. I think this may be my longest reading so far! There will be signs listed before to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. At the end, each pile will also have a quote and channelled song to listen to that resonates with your reading. The specific lyrics that I heard are listed below the title. :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.

Pile 1

Signs:

You may be a Lana Del Rey fan, or at least have one of her songs be your one of your favourite songs

You may be really creative. Specifically, I see most of you here are artists because I just saw an image of someone’s hand covered in paint like a make-shift palette to find the right colour, or someone wiping away excess paint on their skin

You may be left-handed. To be honest, this kind of relates back to the art thing because I just heard someone swearing because their pencil sketches were smudged by their hand again lol

You are a ride-or-die friend. I’m not picking up any signs that the people who picked this pile could be ‘low maintenance friends’ because all I could feel was a loyal and passionate heart, particularly towards their friends

Okay this is an odd message but some of you here are DEHYDRATED, like you’re not even thirsty anymore this is beyond that. Please drink some water if you haven’t at all today

Back to music here, but do some of you spend hours making playlists? I just saw someone using a lot of their free time to curate playlists. I even saw some of you here like making playlists for specific people

Another weird message here but I just smelled crayons, so I’m interpreting this in a few different ways: you may be connected to your inner child, or you may work with children/have plans to work with children, or you would like to be a parent/are a parent

Your Cards: The Emperor, Knight of Cups rx, Page of Wands rx, Justice rx, The Star, 10 of Pentacles

Your Reading:

Okay, the first thing I heard while looking at these cards were the words, “Lost time” and I think that sums up half of your reading quite well.

The cards show that at the beginning of this particular situation, you felt like you were fully in your power. A very Mars-dominant energy to be in, or an Aries energy to be in wherein you felt like you could take on anything. It’s like this was a time when your confidence was at an all-time high about yourself, but also about something. For most of you, this ‘something’ was a project. For some of you, this could be a relationship. The point is, this was something in your life you felt was given to you like you’ve waited for this and finally you’ve got it, but that hope didn’t last.

As we moved on, I felt heavy feelings of frustration. Like you were ready to spring into action but something or someone else was telling you to wait, like they were stringing you along. At the back of your mind, you knew you were being taken advantage of, but you decided to stick with it anyway. I just heard, “It’s worth it.” So maybe this was something you wanted for so long that you felt like you had to stick to it because you couldn’t see how another opportunity could be better than this. I’m really sensing this was a career move for some of you here. Maybe some of you were promised a promotion but you didn’t get it. Maybe some of you were given false hope by a higher-up that this project idea of yours would be taken seriously, but you just had to wait for the right time.

And these people kept giving you excuses. If this were a relationship, I could sense that maybe this was someone who you thought would be ready to fully commit to a relationship, but they never ended up being mature enough to make that decision. It could even be a platonic relationship, and this person wanted you and them to be more casual friends, but you were ready to be a ride-or-die as I’ve stated in the signs above. The overwhelming feeling here is that you got the shorter end of the stick.

But, of course, this doesn’t last. The universe is trying to tell you that if you were broken down before and were able to build yourself back up again, then you can do that now. For most of you, I feel you’ve already left this situation and are worried that this was a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have left in the first place, but the cards are saying otherwise.

Your hope was burned out because of what you’ve gone through. You’ve sacrificed your hope and your sense of self, but the next chapter of your life won’t ask you to do that anymore. If anything, this new chapter will nurture all of those traits you have always felt were intrinsically part of who you are.

If this were a relationship, you’d probably take a break from dating for a while, but your friendships will be a cornucopia of love and support, with new and old friends alike. If this was a job or project, a new opportunity will not only cause success, but stable success. The universe is giving you the new direction you need. “One door closes so the other one opens.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Your Channelled Song: Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey and Father John Misty

“Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed”

“Put the TV on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head”

“Ooh, let the light in

At your back door yelling 'cause I wanna come in

Ooh, turn your light on

Look at us, you and me back at it again”

Pile 2

Signs:

You may be a blunt and direct person, and you may have even gotten in trouble for this in the past. Really, I could sense you’re just a BS detector. I also saw someone rolling their eyes and saying “C’mon, talk to me straight I’ve got things to do!” haha!

I just heard ‘homebody’, so I feel like plenty of introverts have picked this pile!

You may be the sarcastic, unintentionally funny friend. If you know you know. But to specify I saw someone in a group setting saying something like “I hate half of the people in this room/I didn’t want to go—I got dragged here by my friends, please don’t talk to me” and someone laughing because they didn’t think you were serious (You were)

You’ve got a dry/witty sense of humour when you do try to make a joke intentionally, but either no one gets it, or it may be a touch too dark for their taste (Nothing problematic though!)

I got tempted to swear so many times writing out these signs so you may swear a lot. Like sometimes, if you’re in a professional environment you may find it difficult to filter out your words because of how automatic it is for you

I also feel like you’re really articulate. The first word I actually thought to describe your humour was ‘sardonic’ and I wasn’t even sure what that word meant so I can guarantee you that did not come from my mind (Yes, I had to Google the meaning)

For astrological signs, you may have Scorpio and/or Virgo in your chart. Possibly a stellium. With how active your mind is coming through in this reading and how much communication is highlighted in this section, I would not be surprised if your dominant planet is Mercury, or if you have many aspects involving that planet in your chart

Your Cards: The Hermit rx, 2 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 2 of Swords rx, King of Wands

Your Reading: Pile 2, please don’t get mad, but when I opened up to your energy, I was expecting a different message than what I delivered right now. I was ready to get serious, to go into deep waters and dive face first. But when I saw the cards… I may or may not have audibly giggled.

Not in a bad way! Hear me out before you scroll, I promise I’m saying this with the same fondness as a best friend, but pile 2, I know you’ve been in hermit mode for a while and are very comfortable staying there, but the universe isn’t really going to let that slide. For most of you, I could see you not wanting to go out but being pushed to do so by a friend. For some of you, you’ve even been convinced by some of your close friends to go on blind dates or new places to meet people in general, and you go but you really don’t want to.

The message here is clear: You’re going to meet someone new. For most of you, this will be a romantic partnership. For my aromantic folks or my readers who are simply not at all interested in romance, this will be a platonic relationship. Whatever this is, I could specifically see one person here coming out of nowhere and earnestly offering you love or friendship with respectful persistence, you wouldn’t even know what to do with them at first. I think a lot of you here have closed yourself off, not to your pre-existing close relationships, but to new people. This person is going to test that wall you’ve built around yourself and despite how much you try to intimidate them, they are not going away. Think of someone with ‘golden retriever’ vibes, which is funny because as I was tapping into your energy I got ‘black cat’ vibes from you. (I just heard, “The Arthur to my Merlin” and “The Gwen to my Morgana” whether platonically or romantically doesn’t matter, but wow, do I have some Merlin fans/old Merlin viewers in this pile)

In all seriousness though, I don’t think you have this boundary up for no reason. I’m seeing a very specific message of someone in the past that you used to trust no longer being in your life because they’ve done you wrong. This could possibly even be a betrayal of trust? Like you told them a secret, but they shared it with one person, and it quickly spread through word-of-mouth. The severing of that relationship was as fast as the betrayal done by the other person.

This made you more guarded towards newer people in your life. But also, I could see this even had a domino effect making you wary of new experiences and environments too because you’re scared you’ll meet a new person that way.  The universe is saying this past relationship has clouded your judgment and will cloud your judgment when you meet this new person. What you don’t realise is that this person could actually be good for you if you take a chance. Some of you may be worried about co-dependency. The universe is actually saying that a relationship like this will actually make you more independent, and this is because this person is emotionally mature enough to actually commit. They’ll give, you’ll take. You’ll give, they’ll take. It feels like two people who genuinely see each other as equals, and therefore respect each other as such. Their commitment and genuine belief in you will make you a more confident person in the future, but more importantly, you’ll be bolder in your choices in life. You’ll grow to have a brave heart that other people will appreciate in you, and that you’ll appreciate in yourself. “Fortune favours the bold.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Channelled Song: King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men

“We won’t run, and we won’t run, and we won’t run”

“I’ll be here to hold your hand”

“'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart”

Pile 3

Signs:

Your sun sign may be an earth sign or an air sign. I also feel like some people who picked this pile may be a Leo rising or have a Leo Midheaven, but more on the Leo rising actually

I feel like some of you here may have curly hair

You may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community

You prefer winter palettes over lighter and pastel colours for your clothes. I’m not getting a specific style but the colours here are striking. Either an all-black outfit but with the same shade of black making you appear more put together, or someone wearing jewel-toned colours like emerald green or a very striking purple

You may like wearing statement pieces. I saw this image of you in someone else’s point of view, admiring a watch you always wear or commenting on how they know you’ve just been in the room because they smelled your perfume. Picture this, someone walks into an office and just says, “Was pile 3 here—actually, you don’t need to answer that I know they were here.” And the other person who doesn’t know you getting really confused so they clarify by saying, “Oh, I know they were here because they’re the only one in this building that wears (insert fragrance here)”

Some of you here may have a ritual of listening to music in the morning while you’re getting ready to hype yourself up. All genres are coming up right now, (No, seriously. It went from Gangsta’s Paradise to successful by Ariana Grande songs to It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)) but what unifies these songs together is that it’s there to put you in a good mood in the morning

You may be interested in working for yourself by either starting a new business or working your way to the top. Highly ambitious energy coming from this pile, but in all the best ways possible; it makes your energy infectious. Yes. That word specifically. Just a really great energy to be around

Your Cards: 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, High Priestess, The Star (clarified by 3 of Cups)

Your Reading:

Okay, I want to preface this reading by saying that this pile feels similar to pile 1. You may not have had the same circumstances, but the arc is similar, so if you are attracted to pile 1, feel free to read it as a supplementary reading after this.

There’s a very clear energy here that you may have had a falling out with people in your life. This could be a group of co-workers, friends, or even family members. There was chaos surrounding your previous situation and you felt like people were constantly at each other’s throats. If it was not as aggressive as this, it is possible that at the very least you were in an environment you did not feel safe. I think these people showed their true colours, so to speak, and it made you realise how you shouldn’t have trusted certain individuals involved. The thing is though, I can feel you being an outsider in this situation. Like from the start of all of this, you made it clear to everyone you did not want to get involved. I literally just heard, “Get over yourself.” from this pile, so maybe some of you here may even feel that people were blowing up a whole pile of nothing, and/or that they all needed to act more maturely about the situation. I also feel like one person may have taken something personally when they shouldn’t and that could’ve made you particularly frustrated because you felt this person missed the point completely.

I could see that you tried providing counsel to try to smooth things out, but no one listened. This was your last straw. You left or will leave this situation and the universe applauds you for doing so. I think a lot of people in this situation had a victim complex. This is not a judgment on them, it’s simply a message that they have a lot of unhealed wounds they need to work on. You didn’t stand by this though, and this led to you making your boundaries clear and cutting yourself off completely. For some of you, this may be a temporary situation (I heard, “Fix this or don’t bother coming back.”) but for most of you, this may be a temporary step away from these people.

The universe saw that you trusted your gut and left and are rewarding you as such. I think you have a logical mind and are not used to making decisions intuitively, but this all happened because you did what felt right, and this show of trust is going to lead to positive effects.

For the people who picked this pile, I’m getting a strong message that your intuition is a muscle, and that’s true for most people but it’s especially true for yourself. I think you’ll be asked to make more quick decisions in the next phase of your life, Some decisions have larger consequences than others, but most will be small and trivial decisions such as, “Which café should I visit today?”. Before you might’ve picked the familiar or logical option, but now you’re allowing more spontaneity in your life, and this may even surprise you a little bit. I just heard one of your friends saying, “But you always go there!” and seeing you shrug before saying, “Well, I’m in the mood to try something new.”

This will reward you with a new sense of self. The 3 of cups traditionally has a more social meaning, like friends who see each other as equals coming together to celebrate, but for you, I could see this as different sides of yourself finally living in harmony with one another. With all of that stress gone, you’ll finally have the chance to recognise how deeply complex and interesting you are, and you’ll do so with an acceptance you may have not known you needed. “To know myself is to love myself.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Channelled Song: “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” by Tame Impala

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"”

“Two sides of me can't agree”

“Feel like a brand new person… I don’t care I’m in love”

[kateweathermachine2]

My thoughts on the Wisdom Saga

Legendary

TELEMACHUS MY BOY!!!

Honestly most of the stuff I have to say about him deals with the next two songs instead of this one…

Okay, but the more I listen to Antonius the more his voice is just ✨✨✨? Like Calypso’s voice being gorgeous was on SIGHT (on… hear? Heard? Audio?), but Antonius keeps getting better the more I listen to him. Don’t get me wrong he’s a bad dude, but his voice acting? Beautiful

I love the setup in this song, you don’t even notice because it’s so catchy

ARGUS CRUSHED MY HEART IN THE ANIMATIC (like I knew he would) poor dog boi… if Jorge doesn’t have Odysseus say hello to him in a song I will be heartbroken.

Little Wolf

This song… the appearance of Athena in this song brought my prospective ranking of it from likely low to battling it out with Love in Paradise for top spot (I’m STILL not sure which one I like more).

When Athena first appeared in the livestream I (mentally) SCREAMED- MY FAV IS BACK SHE’S BACK AND I LOVE HER (very platonically)

I love the little interlude with her and Telemachus- speaking of which-

I’ve seen some people mention how Telemachus seems much younger than 20/21. Something about the portrayal of Telemachus as this naïve inexperienced child? I’m not sure. But I have my own thoughts to share on this, because as someone who’s close to that young adult age, I think it’s actually pretty accurate for Telemachus’s character. He’s lived in the palace all his life, he’s longing to adventure in the world beyond, but he doesn’t know how to fight… I mean, I don’t specifically relate to Telemachus but I can see aspects of this in my own life. I’ve taken my first baby steps into the big adult world, and it’s intimidating and scary, and I don’t know how anything works, but I’m trying anyways. Point being, I don’t understand how people think that Telemachus has to be younger just because he doesn’t have certain life experiences or knowledge yet. I think it’s a very good portrayal of a young adult being unsure of his coming into the world but excited for it anyways.

Anyways back to ATHENA MY GIRL

I love that we get an in-musical explanation of Quick Thought!! I think it’s really important for a musical to be self-contained with its important lore/information and Jorge does such a great job with that.

Athena’s entire speech about the suitors and bullies and inspiring Telemachus and reframing his “Little Wolf” title CHUCKED THIS SONG SO HIGH IN MY BOOK I need to find a character of mine to associate this part to

The little “ooohhhh, maybe I pushed him a bit to hard” is hilarious

Interesting thing we’re doing with transitions into the next songs with this saga. I do agree with some of the people who said it sounds kind of off in this song; I think it might’ve flowed better if it introduced the next one, but honestly, I’m entirely willing to ignore that because this song is *so* good

We’ll be Fine

I have one glaring complaint about this song…. WHY ISNT IT LONGER?!?! I NEED MORE OF THIS

I can honestly see this becoming a comfort song for me, it holds such great messages to remember

“Cause I got in a fight, and I didn’t die!” The bar is on the FLOOR with Telemachus

The voice actors are rocking their respective high notes! Jorge pushed them and they owned it!!

Speaking of those good encouraging messages- I absolutely adore Telemachus’s chorus. Every time I listen to it, my brain auto-fills the lyrics ahead, and I hear, “maybe it’s all gonna be okay,” but then Telemachus actually sings the verse and it’s “maybe it’s all gonna turn out great!” And that’s just… such a good thing to think about. Yeah, it’s gonna be okay in the end, but what if it was better than okay? What if it turned out to be absolutely amazing?? That’s… such a positive way to view things and I need it more in my life. Of course it could get toxic but for me, it’s a great reminder of how good things can become

Love in Paradise

I read a post that mentioned how the happiest song in the Thunder Saga is called Suffering, and the saddest song in the Wisdom Saga is called Love in Paradise, and I hate how accurate that is T^T

THE TIME DIVE MONTAGE WAS SO GOOOD- such a fun mini mash-up of the rest of the songs! I wish I had more to say about it because I want to keep gushing over it but I’m just gonna end up repeating myself saying it’s so good

The little replay of the “Captain?” “I have to see her” ;-;

WANGUI’S VOCALS— I CAN’T— THEY’RE SO GORGEOUS *unintelligible squealing*

“She’s my wife”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Anyways-“

Her voice is so pretty help I don’t approve of her actions but her VOICE HER VOICE

Can I also just say the animatic/visuals for this section were also gorgeous, such a great compliment to the audio

The way it goes from all sweet and bouncy to “oh ****” and right back to sweet was so good

“Last I checked goddesses can’t die!!” *cue the Wisdom Saga stream crash of 2024*

The cliff scene… oh my goodness it’s so *good* it’s all so *good* Jorge how are you so good at writing

He pays such close attention to characters and motifs and lines too- you can hear how Calypso triggers Odysseus’s flashback.

NOT TO MENTION- when Odysseus yells his line “All I hear are SCREAMS”, it’s in response to Calypso’s line “I’ll stay inside your heart”- which is Odysseus’s mom’s lyric from the underworld!! I literally just noticed the connection between the line and his reaction and I haven’t seen anyone else mention it before so-

And Athena’s little “he needs my help”- aaaaaa we all feel the pain

God Games

Oh *boy howdy* this one is a doozy

The intro is great, I adore Zeus’s voice- this cast is just FULL of talented voice actors man

“… Hera!…. Or me” …. A-wha-huh? I’m sorry didn’t you used to be “and”???

I was intrigued what Apollo’s grievance would be based on the whole “who’s cows” debacle- the sirens kinda threw me off guard xD

His voice is ✨✨✨ though, I love listening to him

JORGE’S DAD HEPHAESTUS!!!!! Aghhh his voice was so good for the part! And I loved the commentary on trust too

Aphrodite’s and Ares’s parts are still amazing even after all this time- I LOVE the details of Ares’s musical motif! He has the same melody as Athena, but played on this raw-sounding violin/cello? And he *also* has quick thought- but it still all feels different from Athena’s too! Because they’re both gods of war but with different domains and attributes AAAA so good!

And Athena’s lyrics in response- I love the re-do and the little extra quirks in it, like the extra growl on “ARES!!!” And the little riff(?) on “his son’s my FRIIIIEND”

Hera’s part was amazing. 100/10. Her voice was a lot… smoother than I was expecting honestly. It took a bit of getting used to but now I love it. And I am HERE for the dance battle

“Never once has he cheated on his wife”

“Release him.”

10/10 ✨✨✨

I was… really excited for an Athena/Zeus debate in this song when listening to all the snippets. I couldn’t wait to see how Athena would try and persuade Zeus, what arguments he would use specifically, how it would all go down… instead I got uh-

“I played your game and won! Release him.”

Oh so, no Zeus round? Ohh this is why it got changed to “or” isn’t it-

“You DARE to defy me?”

Huh-

“To make me feel shame?”

What’s happeni-

“No one beats me, NO ONE WINS MY GAME!!”

Oh boy howdy-

“THUNDER BRING HER THROUGH THE WRINGER, SHOW HER I’M THE JUDGEMENT CALL, THE ONE WHO MAKES HER KINGDOM FAAAAALL—“

I’M SORRY THIS WENT FROM 10 TO 100 SO FAST WHAT IS HAPPENING?!—

Athena in the flashback scene- holding baby Telemachus- the music- my HEART

And the end instrumental is so triumphant aaaaaa

“Let him gooooo! Please-“ JORGE WHEN I GET YOU JORGE—

Uh, so

My thoughts on God Games right after it came out were

Mixed

At first I was so absolutely frazzled from the livestream I could barely put thoughts together outside of incoherent screaming

But then I read a few tumblr posts about how some others were disappointed in how God Games ended and Zeus’s character- and I found myself agreeing :/

I do have a propensity for latching onto different opinions because I think they’re the “expected” one for me to have- and I totally think a bit of that was going on here- so I took some time off of tumblr/limiting my scrolling (which needed to be stopped anyways-) to really sort out how I felt on this

And I think I feel a bit stilted by God Games from its ending. The ending was… underwhelming? Which sounds INSANE considering the end of the stream but it’s underwhelming less because of actual shock factor and more because of what specifically happens versus my expectations.

Zeus just kind of… blasts Athena in the face??? Without provocation?? Athena DID win his game, she passed the terms he set out, she did all of that… and he shocks her anyways. It just. Doesn’t really sit right with me.

But I love Epic, and want to enjoy every song I come across, and I REALLY didn’t want this view of the ending of God Games to taint the rest of the song or the rest of the musical. So in my next big post, I’m going to do a mini “rewrite”/reworking of God Games that I’ve been toying around with in my mind for a little while now!!

I’ll explain more about why and what and the details in that post but for now, just know that it’s been a helpful exercise in enjoying God Games as it is too, and I’ll get to posting that the next time school isn’t absolutely crushing me with long homework assignments

Anyways, those are my kinda-in-depth thoughts about the Wisdom Saga!! I’ve been so excited to write this out and I’m happy to be posting it finally

[jongbross]

lotto. (mafia!kim junmyeon x f!reader)

pairing: mafia!kim junmyeon x f!reader

word count: i have no idea

genre: smut

warnings: description of sexual activities, thigh riding, swearing, mentions of crime, lust, junmyeon has such a soft spot for reader

a/n: i wrote this some time ago as a birthday gift to my friend with another idol but i think it suits junmyeon so muchhh 🥺 anyway, this is not part of kinktober but it's definitely a good way to kick it off! 🤗

the loud music wasn’t actually enough to overlap the sound of cheering, talking, and laughing coming from the whole place. hundreds of people were smiling, although you didn’t believe any of them were truly happy. you could see money, alcohol, drugs, and lust everywhere you looked, but never truly happiness.

well, fuck it. they were all grown up adults afterall, they knew what they were doing. it’s not like someone forced them into that warehouse, into that world. you knew way too well how inviting and exciting the whole thing was, so you couldn’t blame them - although your addiction wasn’t gambling, drinking or doing drugs; although you had actually found love within those walls.

a man screaming after winning what seemed like a lot of money caught your attention. the blonde man threw herself on any guy next to him, suddenly kissing him. it didn’t go unnoticed to you the ring shining on his left hand’s finger though.

“enjoying the show?”, a very well-known voice spoke behind you, making you instantly smile.

“just seeing by myself what hell must look like.”

“wow, hell…”, he said, holding your waist and placing himself beside you now. “that’s a new nickname.”

you laughed, eyes trying to find again the couple of dudes you just saw kissing, but couldn’t find them anywhere. well, that only meant one thing…

“why do you keep coming if you don’t like it here?”

you looked at him, seeing his perfect side profile as he admired what he had built mostly by himself. the loudness, the lust, the illegal actions taking place inside that warehouse didn’t bother him - if anything, he liked it.

“because i like you and i wanna be a supportive girlfriend”, you said like it was obvious.

“okay, two things: first, you were already supportive from the moment you didn’t leave me when you found out about this. secondly, you keep calling yourself my girlfriend, but, baby, i thought we were past that a long time ago.”

if god truly existed, you prayed she didn't let junmyeon see how you blushed at that.

“yeah, well…”, you tried to come up with a reply, but after a few seconds when your brain still didn’t process anything good to say, you just trailed off and let the conversation die.

junmyeon laughed beside you, pulling you close and caressing your body. from the moment he got involved in “bad things”, he accepted that he would never find someone who he could love. he accepted the fact that, to make his name big in those kind of business, he needed to let go of any normal shit people do - like going out on dates, maybe getting married, maybe having children. he was okay with that. he knew what he got himself into when he was around 15 years old.

but that was until he met you.

that was until he saw you fighting back one of his guards at the door of one of his clubs - well, it wasn’t actually a club but you didn’t know that, he found out later. the girl in a burgundy top, pointing a finger at a huge guard caught his attention that night, and he just couldn’t ever let you go after that.

junmyeon didn’t know exactly how you turned into friends, and then into a couple, and then into whatever you two were right now. he just knew how he fell in love with you and, to be honest, how couldn’t he? what was there not to love about you?

“i like when you get shy”, he said only for you to hear, chin resting on top of your shoulder.

“i don’t”, you replied, still looking straight ahead. junmyeon didn’t miss the tiny grin on your lips though.

he kissed your shoulder, lost in a moment with you but in a lifetime of thoughts inside his head - all the thoughts about you. he closed his eyes for a bit, turning down all of his senses and just focusing on your smell and the way his lips felt against your skin. he couldn’t feel any other thing, couldn’t see any other thing, he couldn’t listen to any other thing…

or that was what he thought.

“sir?”, someone called behind you, making you both turn around. you looked curious at one of junmyeon's many guys, dressed in a suit, while junmyeon himself couldn’t look more annoyed. actually, scratch that, he couldn’t look more pissed. “there is a-”

“is someone dying?”, junmyeon asked, cutting the guy off.

“n-no, sir.”

“then why are you interrupting me and my girl?”

the dude went silent. he looked from junmyeon to you and then back to junmyeon, completely lost.

“i’m… i’m sorry, sir. i-i just thought you would like to know that-”

“well, i wouldn’t. so turn around and go fix it yourselves whatever happened. i don’t wanna know, and don’t fucking interrupt me again.”

“yes, sir”, the guy immediately said, bowing to junmyeon before going back to wherever he came.

you looked at junmyeon, staring down at him and noticing so closely how his expression changed the moment he looked at you and you two locked eyes. he went soft, all of a sudden.

“that was hot”, you joked, smirking when you felt his arm wrapping around your hips and pulling you close.

“yeah?”, he raised an eyebrow at you, what you knew was one of his ways to try to be sexy. little did he know… “i can show you hotter if you let me.”

“such a gentleman-”

the way he grabbed your wrist and pulled you away with him made you shut up though.

(...)

you watched as junmyeon closed the door of his big ass office behind him, locking it and checking it twice just to be sure. he knew no one would be crazy enough to walk in without knocking, but he liked his privacy secured.

when he turned around to watch you - his girl - he smirked. you looked breath taken, as always. his feet worked on their own and started to walk towards you without a warning. they only stopped when you were at junmyeon's reach, watching every move he made, every expression. you watched as he rested his hands on your hips again, one of his favorite parts of your body. you watched as he pulled you close, close enough to feel your breathing against his face. you watched as he closed the gap between you two, kissing you with everything he got, like he always did.

and then, you stopped taking track of his every move and started to focus on what you were feeling. you felt his tongue slipping into your mouth, you felt his hands traveling up your body to hold your neck as he kissed you, and you felt, overall, that familiar sensation between your legs.

“come here”, he whispered, leading you to the chair behind his desk.

he sat down first, unbuttoning your jeans and taking them down. you groaned when he kissed your stomach, hands resting on your thighs as you finished the job of taking off those goddamn jeans. junmyeon's looked up at you, watching your face as his kisses became openmouthed, his tongue feeling warm against your skin.

“will you take it off for me, baby?”, he asked, one of his hands tugging on your panties.

you obeyed, taking it off and letting him pull you onto his lap. junmyeon placed you on his left thigh, flexing his muscles the moment your bare skin hit his trousers.

“you’re going to ride my thigh here in my office like the good girl you are, okay?”

“you can’t tell me what to do”, you smirked at him, but the smirk was quickly wiped off your face the moment he flexed his thigh again.

“i’m sorry, you were saying…?”

you cursed a “fucker” under your breathe as you started doing what he said. your movements were lighty at first, enjoying the feeling little by little. you could both feel each other to the extent you loved the most, grabbing at each other whenever something felt too good. his hands on your waist, your hands on his shoulders now.

you moaned out loud for the first time, and that’s how junmyeon knew you were on the right track. he held your waist a little bit harder, helping the way you moved your hips down onto his thigh. he could feel his trousers getting wetter with your every move, and no words in this world could explain how he loved that.

fuck, no words in this world could explain how he loved you.

when you moaned again, junmyeon couldn’t help but moan too. he took a moment to look at you, at your expression, at the way your body was moving on top of his before going in for a kiss. he took your lips on his own, savoring you and swallowing your noises, his trousers feeling so tight now all of a sudden - but he couldn’t care less, he just wanted to make you feel good, as good as you always made him feel.

“fuck, myeon”, you groaned when he broke the kiss. your fingers were tightly tangled on his shirt, holding for dear life as if he could disappear if you let him go.

your hips started to move faster, harder, that familiar sensation building up inside you. you lost your goddamn mind when junmyeon decided to lick at your jaw, whispering sweet nothings to you in between the kisses, the sucks he’d leave on you; he poured his heart into those words though, promising himself at that very moment that he would do anything he could to always remember you how much you meant for him.

another loud moan echoed through the office, and he knew what that meant.

“come on, baby”, he whispered to you.

he didn’t have to say it twice. you finished with a call of his name, coming all over his thigh, his hands guiding your hips to help you ride through your high. junmyeon happily sighed when, at the peak of your intimacy - the moment right after the sex -, you let yourself collapse on top of him. you rested your forehead on his shoulder, trying to catch your breath as his hands traveled down to your thighs, caressing them.

seconds went by, minutes went by. nothing could touch the two of you, nothing could make him leave you, and nothing could make you walk away from him.

junmyeon smiled at the thought of always having you like that, of always being with you. but, at the same time that thought warmed his heart, it also made it ache. what if you ever got tired of him? what if you decided you no longer loved him? what if you realized he’s no good for you because of what he does for a living?

what if he had to go away someday and you didn’t wait for him?

“marry me”, he said, realizing that the words had truly left his mouth only after they did.

“what?”, you groaned.

“marry me. be with me forever. i want you forever.”

you smiled, looking up at him and holding his face in both your hands. you had the great junmyeon, the guy who built his own gang and his own way into the crime, wrapped around your finger.

“i’m with you. i always will be, a ring won’t change that”, you said, kissing his lips. “i promise i’m yours. isn’t that enough?”

junmyeon immediately nodded. anything you decided to give him was enough.

“it is for now. i love you."

“i love you too.”

[slut4megantheestallion]

Pretty when you cry

Ethan landry x Black! Crybaby reader.

Summary: Ethan finds you pretty when you cry he likes to scare you and see the tears and fear in your eyes, so he decided to scare you while wearing his Ghostface costume and he couldn't help but smile at how beautiful you look when you cry.

Ethan loved the way you cry, he'd never seen such beautiful crier in his life, you were to fragile for anyone to break or harm, Ethan loved the way how you would hug him or sit on his lap when your scared it made him feels good that he was there to protect you. He would kill anyone who ever made you cry or try to harm you.

Y/n was heavily getting bullied by 3 girls at her school, she would come home crying, Ethan knew Y/n to well he knows when she's crying even how hard she tries to hide it, it was clear he knew. Y/n and Ethan were best friends and they tell each other everything... well not everything in Ethan's part. Ethan killed the girls thst bullied Y/n and he had a good time doing so.

While Ethan and Y/n were sitting on the couch Y/n heard the news that the girls that bullied her were dead, Y/n was a sweet innocent girl she never wished anything bad happen to then. As Y/n made it to the couch sitting right next to Ethan. " Did you heard about the news? Y/n said looking at Ethan almost about to cry. " No, what happened?" Ethan asked Y/n knowing what she was talking about... after all those sluts deserve to die knowing they were bullying Y/n. " Those girls that bullied me are dead." Y/n said crying as she hugs Ethan for comfort. "Yeah they bullied me but I don't want them die, I mean their people too." Y/n said through tears, Ethan looked at you and he thought your crying so angelic were like a angel, Ethan comfort ls Y/n as he hugs her to soothe her pain but he was smiling at what he did to those girls. Not one bit a remorse he did that for you.

Y/n was home alone since Ethan had econ, Y/n didn't like to be alone, when she was young she cried that she was alone it was lonely and she didn't find any comfort. But, now she got older and she still didn't like being alone but she learned how to deal with it she can't rely on Ethan all the time.

Y/n heard the phone rang, she walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello." Y/n said.

"Who is this?" The mysterious voice said.

"You called me, sir." Y/n said so innocently and patient making Ethan horny for you at your politeness, you were to perfect.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" The raspy voice questions Y/n.

"Oh, I don't watch scary movies, they make me scared I like watching something wholesome." Y/n said growing anxious wanting to hang up the phone.

"Uhm, sir I have to go, it was nice having this conversation but I really have to go." Y/n said feeling weirded out by the man she was talking to on the Ethan.

"Wait... No!" The voice said on the phone but Y/n hanged up before he could even say anything. As Y/n walks away from the phone she heard the phone ring again, this time she was really scared. "Hello." Y/n said as her voice shakes. "That was a big mistake, princess do you know how rude it is to hang up on someone on the phone while there talking to you." The voice says as he chuckles on the phone making Y/n.

"If you don't leave me alone I'm calling the police." Y/n threatens. "YOU CALL THE POLICE I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" The man on the phone raise his voice making Y/n cry, Ethan love the sound of your crying it was angelic and was music to his ears.

"Don't ever hang up on me, you wouldn't anything bad happen to Ethan do you?" The man says as he laughs making Y/n cry harder as her heart beats rapidly.

"What do you want from me?!" Y/n said to The man on the phone getting very scared.

"You, princess it was so easy to distract you on the phone, and I know you didn't lock your windows someone can get inside you house... I wonder who?" Y/n's heart stopped as he said that knowing she didn't lock her window.

Y/n grabbed the biggest knife in the kitchen holding it in case if the man comes for her. But all of a sudden the light went off and Y/n couldn't see.

"You're so fucked now, princess." Ethan says as he laughs as hangs up the phone. Y/n still had the knife in her hand but she was shaking since she never has been in a situation like this.. she Ethan was here so he could hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

Y/n didn't feel the knife in her hand anymore as it just disappeared from her hand all of a sudden the lights went on and Ghostface was standing right in front of you with the knife in his hands, "Looking for this?" Ghostface taunts Y/n as he steps closer to her menacingly.

Y/n starts crying she felt so weak she didn't know what to do, Ghostface began coming up to her face to face his body weight all up on Y/n making it hard for her to get out of his grasp.

"Why are you doing this?" Y/n cries as Ethan smirks beneath the mask as he caresses her neck with the knife as Ghostafce was focused on caressing her neck with the knife, She took off the mask to only be in shock that it was her best friend Ethan landry. He put her in all this fear and danger. Ethan smiles at Y/n and comes closer to her and whispered in her ear. "You're pretty when you cry, and I fucking love it." Ethan whispers in Y/n's as he kisses the tip of her ear. "You won't tell anyone will you sweetheart?" Ethan says looking at Y/n, Y/n was scared of Ethan and what he was capable of, so she said 'yes' to not make him mad.

"Yes." Y/n says looking at Ethan making him smiles as he hugs her knowing she was scared of him.

"Good girl, it will be our little secret~" Ethan said whispering to Y/n's ear.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕆𝕦𝕥 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @superstar-ethereal

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Play Your Heart Out Marching Parade - WxS!Hatsune Miku

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

WxS!Miku was your very dear friend! And also a bit of a high school crush... But how could anyone blame you?!! She was so full of enegy and passion! And on top of that, she was famous as school marching band's leader! Could you find anything bad about her? Some would say it's her being overally energetic but you didn't really saw it that way!

Today, you were sitting on a campus as marching band began it's show for oldest classes goodbye. You weren't in that group but you still sat there enjoying the music. You don't know how, but ever since Miku became the leader, you actually liked the marching band's music even more!

It was always so perfect~ Trumpet making you want to dance, cymbals giving you extra shot of motivation, drums silently embracing you and finally... Miku putting all instruments in one as she marched proudly as their leader while playing on a flute. It was easy to say she was the most energetic from all of them. Did that girl ever got tired? Most likely not... but isn't that precisely why you fell?

After quick show, it was headmaster's turn to speak. But you just bussied yourself with looking at Miku who couldn't even stand still for one second and kept jumping in place while looking around, as if searching for someone.

"(Who could she be looking for?)"

You tried following her gaze but eventually gave up when you saw her switching targets in light speed... that's untill her eyes fell on you! She immidietly waved at you and didn't even care to make it secret, definitely drawing a bit of attention as you waved back.

"(There they are!! Now it's time!)"

Once headmaster was done with main speech, Miku ran up on stage and was handed the mic as if everyone knew about her intentions...

"(I didn't knew she's gonna say a speech as well...)"

"I've prepared one more song! This time, it's meant for Y/N!!"

You felt like you could die here and now honestly... marching band performing a song written by Miku along for you?!! You don't know what's gonna kill you first... this girl, the attention she's drawing at you or anything else that awaits you with her...

But not leaving you much to think about she began another show with her band! But this time, much less performer, making her flute play way more evident. It was definitely a dancy song, just like she liked it... but you couldn't decline it also made your heart throb... Maybe it was for the fact you knew this was dedicated to you, but you genuinely found this song more than enjoyable!

"Y/N!"

You were once again woken up from your daydreaming by Miku reaching her hand out to you which you hesitantly took... not having much time to react - like always with her - you were pulled to her, her eyes sparkling as she looked at you hopeful.

"Please go on a date with me!"

"A-As in- You-"

You had to calm down and you knew it... you just didn't expect her to say it like that... heck you didn't expect her to say it at all!!! And the fact whole school was watching? It was making it worse... but you couldn't really decline...

"I'd.. be more than glad..."

You could see her eyes shine on million more ways before she brough flute back to her lips and began playing while marching away even more energetic if that was possible... her play now felt more like one of happy child but it still sounded pleasent to the ear.

You could see her hair wave around as she was now practically jumping around more than marching, but her play stayed professional.

"(This girl is impossible...)"

"(I did the impossible!!)"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[rollercoasterwords]

genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

[pastsense]

Tender Annoyance

Summary: Mark Berskii finds Jett Dawson to be the most polarizing student of the group. And even stranger he finds himself getting more and more attached to him.

WARNINGS: NSFW, BOTH CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Mark couldn’t explain what started his fondness for Jett. At first, he found the masked man to be a nuisance, someone who couldn’t take clear silence as an answer, and someone who reminded him all too well of the fakeness that surrounded his brand as mayhem.

However, it was one moment in particular that changed how Mark viewed the man. It was a couple days after the death of Wolfgang Akire and Eva Tsunaka, the two were in Jett’s room due to the bunking rules established to prevent any murders. Mark tried to hide it as best as he could, but he was terrified after that day.

He was an easy target.

Anyone looking for a kill could just catch him off guard, and he would be dead. Or worse- he could end up like Eva. He saw the desperation that was apparent in her voice, and the way she fought so hard to survive when faced with her execution. What if it was him in that situation? What if he was brutally tortured and forced to suffer before his death? What if he died? Was he going to die? Oh god he couldn’t die, he didn’t want to die, what was he going to do, could he do anything? Could he? Could he?

Could he?

Mark jolted off of his place on the couch and ran to the bathroom to vomit. He gripped the toilet seat as he let out days worth of pent up fear and agony. A sob choked out of him as he started crying. He felt disgusting. Mark slumped over to sit beside the toilet as he continued to cry. He was alone. Would anyone care if he died? Sure, he had his fans, but they cared about the music and Mayhem. Not Mark.

Nobody cared about Mark.

Mark's thoughts were interrupted by a voice that came from the doorway. It was Jett.

Mark turned his head away. As if everything couldn’t get worse, he was now caught looking like a train wreck. And by someone who wouldn’t shut up at that.

Jett kneeled in front of Mark “How do you feel buddy…?“ Mark didn’t respond. Jett sighed. “Not saying anything as usual huh…? I get it. You don’t owe me a response, especially not after… What happened?” Jett got up and slumped over on the other side of the wall, pulling his knees to his chest to give them both enough room in the small bathroom.

The man laughed weakly. “I tried to host that tournament with Cass to help everyone get along and I boasted about my batteries; unknowingly helping a killer set everything up. It’s almost comical, if I didn’t have to live with that fact right now.”

Jett tightened his hold on his legs. “I’m scared, man.” Mark finally let his head come up to face Jett. He couldn’t see the expression he was making, but something about his posture said it all.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

“I hear you man.”

The two spoke for hours into the night. They discussed the game, their lives before it, and the masks they put up around everyone. It was something so personal, something Mark would usually never do especially with someone as polarizing to him as Jett…

Yet it was a moment Mark thought about constantly. ———————————————————————— Mark learned about Jett’s accident from their conversation. It made his odd attire and quite frankly disgusting odor make sense, as well as why he slept in his suit despite how uncomfortable it looked. Mark couldn’t help but feel pity for the man. Even if Mark wasn’t huge on his brand as Mayhem, at least the mask wasn’t bound to his face. He couldn’t say the same for Jett however, who had to wear his helmet and suit to avoid confrontation about the accident daily.

Mark could sort of relate. He knew he wasn’t the most attractive guy in the world, his physique wasn’t the most developed, and his hair was something he quickly slapped together to hide under his beanie. Maybe there were some similarities between them both in that fact. Not like Mark would admit it.

2 weeks had passed since their kidnapping. Jett and Mark sat on the bed together in the latters room as they talked with one another. Well, it was more Jett carrying the conversation but he preferred to think of it as them both contributing equally.

Eventually, the conversation lands back to the nature of Jett’s accident. “You know… I used to be a lot more fit before the accident. I was considered a ‘hot’ drag racer for a reason!” Jett places his hands on his stomach and his voice gets lower. His cheerful tone beginning to subside.

“But then after the accident… I started to gain weight. It really showed how fleeting social status really is, because the amount of shit I started seeing about my current weight online… damn it all to hell I wish I never saw it. I didn’t ask for this stupid accident, why the hell were they acting like I wasn’t the same person just because I was bigger? I’m still me goddamn it!” Jett’s fists curled on his knees. It was the first time Mark had such outward negativity from the man. He didn’t know what to say. How are you supposed to comfort someone about something like this if you don’t understand how it feels? Besides, it’s not like he owes Jett any pity. And yet…

He couldn’t help but want to say something.

Mark sighed, giving a blunt answer. “Regardless of your weight I’d still find you weird.”

Jett turned his attention to Mark. “Oh…” There was a twinge of disappointment in Jett’s posture until it lit up again. “Wait, I get it. Regardless of weight you’d still treat me the same as you are now. It doesn’t matter to you at all huh? You’d still care for me the same way.”

Mark’s face flushed. “I never said ‘care’.”

Jett began to chuckle. “Oh, but I know you meant it broskii. This is what I mean! You’re a lot nicer than you let off huh?”

Mark stared at him with clear annoyance. How could someone miss the point so bad? That’s not what Mark meant at all. He didn’t care at all right? Not in the slightest. Not.. in the… god he was a pain. “It’s just in one ear and out the other with you.”

Jett grinned, lifting his shoulders above his head. “Well, regardless of what you say I was picking up what you were putting down.” Mark scoffed.

How endearingly annoying. ——————————————————————- “I think I like you.”

It was something Mark dropped during a random conversation. Perhaps it was festering inside him for long, maybe he wanted to get it over with, but regardless of what it was, the truth was out now. He had tried to deny it for so long, but he’d always known what it was. He liked Jett Dawson. He wanted to be with him.

Mark was no stranger to rejection throughout life. It seemed like that was all he had been given here and there, until the other man’s voice rang clear in response.

“I like you too.”

Mark's eyes widened.

Jett rubbed the back of his neck and let out a sheepish laugh. “W-what do you look so shocked for haha? You wanted a response right!?”

“Are you… sure?”

“The hell you mean ‘Am I sure!?’ I’m sure of a lot of things, but this is the one I’m most sure of!”

Jett closed the distance between him and Mark, their chests nearly touching.

“I love you too, Mark.”

Mark couldn’t wipe the dumbfounded expression from his face. Was this real? Was he just dreaming? There was no way- right? As if Jett could sense Mark's thoughts, he closed the distance and pulled Mark into a hug. “See? I’m right here man.”

Mark stiffened from the hug. He wasn’t used to contact like this. He believed it to be trivial for so long, that people only liked him for mayhem. Yet here he was, being hugged like he was the only important thing on the world as Mark. He couldn’t help the way he sank deeper into the contact.

Suddenly, Mark felt Jett’s grip loosen a bit. Another sheepish laugh escaped Jett's mouth. “Aha… uh… didn’t know this excited you that much man.”

Mark was confused. What did Jett mean by that? He got his answer when Jett shifted slightly, and he noticed his erection insistently pressing against Jett’s thigh. Immediately, Mark's face transformed into an expression of horror. He pulled himself off of Jett and turned around, stammering out an apology. “Jesus- I’m fucking sorry Jett. I can’t control that shit and-“

Jett sighed. “Hey, it’s alright bro. Besides…” He hugged Mark from behind, placing his head on his shoulder before proudly pressing his erection between the curves of Mark's ass. Shock couldn’t describe the expression that lit up on Mark's face. “I told you. I felt the same way earlier, right? No shame.”

Mark’s jaw dropped. No fucking way.

There was no way this was happening right? ———————————————————— Mark couldn’t explain to you how on earth he got into a situation like this. From being forced into a killing game, to beginning to like some guy who was everything he found annoying in a person, to getting on his knees as said person was waiting for him to suck their dick. You know, just the normal steps that lead to sucking someone off.

“No underwear? Seriously?” Mark deadpanned as Jett’s pants dropped in front of him.

Jett laughed “What? I'm wild and free baby.”

Mark rolled his eyes, setting his attention to Jett’s aching cock. It was thick all things considered, and was surrounded by a bush of black pubic hair. Mark had never sucked someone off before, but it couldn’t be that hard right? Just… place it in your mouth and move back and forth…?

Okay maybe he’d have to try it first before thinking that.

Taking a deep breath, Mark placed the tip in his mouth, Jett’s breath hitching under the helmet. “O-oh god Mark…” he rasped.

Mark couldn’t help but enjoy the sounds that escaped Jett from just the tip in his mouth. He wanted to get more out of him. Teasingly, Mark slowly inched all of Jett’s dick into his mouth, right until his nose was nestled against his pubic hair, taking in his odor. Jett’s thighs were quivering, his breaths hot and heavy from how good Mark felt around his cock.

Mark's eyes came up to look at Jetts helmet. He wasn’t sure if he was directly looking him in the eyes, but he hoped the general idea got through. He pulled his head up until the tip was all that was left in his mouth before pushing himself down, taking all of Jett back in his mouth and gagging around his dick as his odor flooded his nose, making Jett bite his lip from under the mask, his legs spreading further involuntarily. “G-god… holy shit…” he breathed.

Jett had never sounded sexier. Mark had always wanted him to shut up, but for once- he wanted to get as many sounds out of the man as possible. Increasing the pace of his movements, Mark suctioned around Jett’s dick tighter, using his tongue to lick the underside of his dick and its veins each time he took him in. The whines that left Jett’s mouth were downright pornographic as he bucked his hips instinctively into Mark's mouth to get further inside.

“Mark- oh my god Mark- fuck, you’re good-“ he rasps, throwing his head back. Jett grips the sheets of the bed, he’s about to cum.

“M-Mark… I can’t hold it- I’m gonna-!”

Mark pulls off, Jett groaning and bucking his hips into the air. “G-god! Why did you stop Mark!?” Mark wiped the saliva from his chin. “…I thought it would be funny.” He replied, a rare grin appearing on his face.

Jett stared at him before laughing, the heaviness in his breath still evident. “You are- such an asshole, you know that?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Nyeh… I guess that it was for the best. If I’m gonna cum, I’d rather it be alongside you broskii.”

Mark quirked an eyebrow. “Uh… how thoughtful…?” How does someone respond to something like that anyways?

Jett nodded before sliding up on the bed. “Yep! Now come on, it’s your turn! Take off your pants, and lie down on your back alright?”

Mark unbuttoned his pants, his hands resting on both sides to pull them down… but a pang of insecurity rang through him. He couldn’t bring himself to pull them down.

It’s not as if Mark didn’t want to go further with Jett, his cock was straining painfully against his pants for god's sake, but it had to do with himself physically. Mark was thinner than most people his age, and especially compared to everyone in the academy. His clothes normally covered up that fact, but without them- he was just his thin figure. Mark did his best to ignore it, but now that he was going to be fully exposed to someone for once, a flood of doubt entered his mind. To which Jett seemed to notice.

“Hey. If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. I’m not undressing besides my pants, so you don’t have to undress either. But whatever you choose… you’ll always be the best looking guy in the world to me.”

Mark looked up at Jett, his face conflicted. Normally, he didn’t take easy compliments like those that were clearly out of pity, but something about those words… how he would look the best to him specifically. Like no one else would judge him. He would be only with him, and treated like he was the only man in the world. Some foolish part of him believed it.

Mark took a deep breath, before dropping his pants and underwear, pulling off his shirt and climbing onto the bed on his back.

Jett was speechless. “Wow… Didn’t know this was what you were hiding Mark.”

“Do you seriously think I want to hear that?” He snapped back, clearly defensive.

Jett put his hands out defensively. “No, I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just mean… you’re a really handsome guy. You look great, man.”

Marks remained silent. He didn’t know how to respond to something like that. A part of it scared him… but another part of him felt fuzzy on the inside from hearing it. Jett softly chuckled. “Haha, sorry. We got a bit off track right? Let’s keep going.” Jett spread Mark’s legs out gently, before exposing his hairless pink hole right to him.

Jett circled the rim of Mark's asshole with his gloved middle finger. Mark bit his lip. Jett hadn’t even entered yet, and he was already trying to muffle any noises. No way he would give Jett the satisfaction to hear that he was enjoying this. Jett slowly slid his gloved finger into Mark’s ass, feeling the way his walls gripped all around him. A shaky breath left Mark’s mouth. The intrusion stung at first, but once he adjusted to it, he had to admit that it felt amazing.

Jett smirked. “Feel good broskii?”

“Oh shut up- oh… oh god-” Mark couldn’t even finish his retort as Jett curled his finger on Mark’s prostate, a shaky moan leaving his wide open mouth. “W-warn me next time goddamn it…” They stayed like that for a couple minutes, letting Mark adjust to Jett’s finger before he prepared to slide another in. “I’m going to put another finger in. Do you think you can take it?” Mark nodded. Jett nodded back. Slowly, he pressed his ring finger into Mark’s asshole, stretching it out slowly to accommodate both of his fingers. Mark couldn’t help the noise that escaped his throat from the intrusion. It was low, needy, and something Mark would kill Jett for if he were to bring it up anywhere else but here. The sting was back again, but it was even more pleasuring when it subsided. Mark bit his lip to hide his shuddered breaths as he felt Jett scissor his fingers, stretching him out, and pressing all over his sensitive insides. “J-Jett..”

“Goddamn, you sound so pretty man.”

Try as he might, Mark could not hide the effect his fingers were having on him. His cock twitched, drooled, and was practically the hardest it had ever been in his life. He cursed under his breath, throwing his head back as Jett readjusted his fingers. It was like every time Mark got used to the intrusion Jett could just slightly tilt his fingers and turn him into a shuddering mess all over again. It was stupid, gross, and humiliating worst of all. But Mark couldn’t get enough of it.

“C-can you just fuck me already?” Mark groaned, not caring about the semantics of what he was saying anymore.

Jett chuckled. “There you go, using your words for once. I knew you’d open up.”

Yeah, in more ways than one.

Mark whimpered as Jett slid his fingers out of his hole, his drooling cock twitching. Jett had hoped he stretched Mark out enough to where entering him wouldn’t hurt. Jett stroked himself to get his cock properly hard again, before climbing on top of Mark, being mindful with his weight to not crush him. He took a moment to take in Mark’s disheveled appearance. Drool down the side of his mouth, pre-cum leaking from his dick, his hair messier than usual, his chest breathing heavily… He was beautiful.

“You look beautiful Mark.” Jett muttered, tenderness in his voice. Mark’s eyes widened at his words, clearly caught off guard by the compliment and the sweetness in the man’s voice. He didn’t know how to respond, opting to look away from the masked man. Jett softly laughed, wiping some drool off the side of Mark's mouth. A tender gesture, if not a bit dirty from the reason that drool was there to begin with.

Jett lined his dick at the entrance of Marks hole. “You ready? I’ll make sure to go slow.” Mark turned his head to look at Jett through his helmet. “I am.”

Jett nodded, before inching himself in slowly. He grumbled lowly as he felt Marks tight muscle begin to envelop all around his dick, squeezing all around him like he was the most important thing in the world. Mark’s mouth drew open and his head slowly fell back as Jett pushed himself further inside. It was a lot bigger than a couple fingers and it stung a whole bunch more. However, Mark would lie if he said it wasn’t the best fucking feeling in the world. He felt so full, felt every vein and throb of Jett’s dick nestled deep inside of him like he belonged there. Marks dick throbbed, pre-cum leaking onto his belly.

After Jett fully settled inside, he stayed in place for a couple minutes to let Mark fully adjust. Jett already found this situation to be hot in itself, but it got even hotter when he focused his attention on Mark's stomach. “H-holy shit you have got to see this man.” Mark lifted his head up to see what Jett was talking about, his face flushing when he took in the sight of his belly bulging from Jett’s dick.

Both guys stared at one another. Even without any words they understood just how hot this was. “You really surprise me everyday man…” Jett rubbed the back of his neck, laughing sheepishly.

Jett began to grind his tip against Mark’s prostate, electing several moans from the man. “That feel good?” He mumbled in his ear, causing Mark to bite back a groan. “M-more…”

Jett grinned. “More it is.”

Pulling back, Jett pushed himself in and out of Mark’s hole at a slow pace. While he was horny out of his mind, he wanted to make sure Mark was comfortable and adjusting properly. Mark understood the sentiment, and a part of him appreciated that Jett cared so much that he would take things slow… but after a few minutes that need for slowness began to subside.

Mark wraps his legs around Jett and grinds into his dick, eliciting a moan from Jett’s mouth.

“J-Jesus Christ man… bro… gimmie a warning next time…”

A sinister idea pops into Marks mind at this. He grins. “Oh, you mean like this?” Mark purposely tightens all around Jett, making the man choke out a moan and harshly buck his hips involuntarily, slamming right into Mark’s prostate and forcing out a moan Mark didn’t even bother to hide.

“I said it once before- but y-you are a jackass sometimes…”

Jett grips both of Mark’s thighs and pushes them up, holding him in place as he began to fuck him in a harsher, completely erratic place. Both men pant and moan desperately at the sensations they both feel. Jett, feeling how Mark’s walls rub and lovingly tighten all around his dick, and Mark, feeling the way Jett’s dick stretches him open and abuses his prostate. Mark claws into the fabric at the back of Jett’s suit, letting out a breathy moan of the man’s name.

Lord he could only hope no one would hear them. A knot begins to form in Mark’s stomach. He feels his balls tighten and he knows he won’t last much longer. However, it appeared Jett was in the same situation, his breaths going shallow and his thrusts becoming even more crazed. “A-ah- Mark- I can’t- I’m gonna-“

In an action purely fueled by lust, Mark tells Jett to cum with him. His hands move to grab Jett’s ass, pulling him deeper inside and it’s then Jett loses all control. The man gives one final strangled moan of Mark’s name before spilling hot thick ropes of cum all over inside his hole, filling Mark to the brim with warmth. Mark felt how Jett’s dick twitched all over inside him as he got filled, and it was that that brought Mark into his own orgasm, his hand moving to milk himself of every last drop as his own cum painted his stomach.

Jett collapsed onto Mark, not minding his own weight or how Mark’s cum could stain his suit. Jett was still buried deep inside Mark, which was fine by the latter because it gave them both time to catch their breath… and it kept Jett’s cum deep inside of his hole which he didn’t want to admit he thought felt nice.

Finally, Jett hoisted himself above Mark’s body with his shoulders. Mark couldn’t see Jett’s expression, but he knew he most likely looked just as blissful as whatever fucked out expression he was making at the moment. “Dude…” he breathed. “That was amazing holy shit…” Mark breathlessly looked at Jett, nodding in agreement. Jett bashfully laughed. “People they… normally kiss after stuff like this right..? Ah- but I’m not exactly… built for that right now… unless…”

Jett pressed his helmet against Mark’s cheek, confusion etching onto his face. “…what are you doing?” “Isn’t it obvious? I’m giving you a kiss!” Mark couldn’t see the expression under his helmet, but he knew for certain Jett was giving a smug look at that idea. “Problem solver, I know, I know…”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” His attention turned towards the both of them and the state of the room. Jett already didn’t smell the best, but the musk of the room now had the scent of sex added to it. Not the prettiest combination for your nostrils. Not only that, but Mark assumed the sheets had stainings from their activities. He didn’t know how he’d explain to Ingrid their state without revealing anything.

So many things had to be addressed, he had to deal with so many things all because he wanted to have sex with some guy. It was quite frankly annoying, and he was better off never doing it to begin with. Yet he didn’t regret it.

He didn’t regret lying in bed with Jett, cuddling after getting fucked just a couple minutes earlier. Why was it this man who always did it to him? Oh right, he knows why. After all, Mark said it himself earlier. He loves him.

With a sigh, Mark pressed his face back against Jett’s helmet as his own form of a kiss before relaxing into the hug. “We’ll clean up later.” He mumbled. Jett grinned.

“Sounds like a plan broskii.”

(First ever Jettskii fic I wrote by the way, still writing to this day!)

[shivunin]

Hiiii! For the rook and partner questions - how about 13 and 15?

Heyy thank you for asking!! c:

(Spoilers in the second question!)

(Rook romance questions)

13. What song(s) do you associate with them?

Thank you specifically for asking this question bc I love talking about music forever! My top two are:

"Am I another home you lost in the flood? Are you the thirst that I've been dying of? Are you the only living thing that I'll ever touch? Is this old religion, are we calling it love?"

--Calling it Love by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

"Early each morning he searched for her til his feet became bloody and tired... the lock of grey hair that she gave to him stayed clutched in his fist through the night dead or alive she still yearned for him cus even in darkness there's light"

--57821 by Janelle Monae

15. What was the partner's reaction to Rook being imprisoned in the Fade? How did they cope? How did they react upon seeing Rook again?

I uhhh got a little too into this one and it's very stream of consciousness, so it is under the cut! (I'll probably refine all this when I actually write it out!)

The challenge here is summarizing a fic's worth of feelings briefly haha. Something like:

Lucanis has just watched Lace die and vanish entirely into a pit of blight, has just heard the death cries of a goddess. At last, this much is finished; not all, not wholly, but in part at least he has succeeded where he'd failed before.

He turns to find Rook (as he has in so many battles before, as he did when Razikale fell even sprinting through the ruins of Weisshaupt) and instead he finds...nothing.

Well, no. Nothing would be more telling. He finds her staff discarded on the stone life refuse, her orb gone dull, dagger dented beside it. Rook is not only gone, but disarmed, without her weapons when this place has demanded their use in every moment. Perhaps, for a moment he thinks that grief has caused this, that she has dropped everything and run after Lace. Spite knows first that this is wrong, keens the first warning that she is TAKEN, and it is then that Lucanis sees Solas in the split second before he vanishes again.

There is little time to think; he will not forgive himself for this later, but even so it is the truth. The wrath of a would-be god swings its mighty hammer down upon them too quickly to do anything at all. Even so, he and Spite are joined in this: they will get her back, whatever the cost, and will make the ones who took her away pay for every moment of her absence in blood. In this, he is determined.

(Why did he tell her to wait when she came to him? He could see the thoughts in her eyes, knew what she meant when she pressed the locket with its ribbon-bound lock of hair into his hands before the battle. Was this his one chance? Has he lost it already, this thing he did not think he would ever have for himself? All the words they have said to each other, but he never told her the most important things...and now she is gone.)

He copes, of course, by working himself into the ground. Every avenue to pursue, every clue or hint or place to search, he volunteers to seek himself while the other sleep or study or work on their plan B. Spite does him the favor of continuing this work, when possible, while Lucanis sleeps. When forced to stillness, he worries that last moment with her over and over in his hands along with the token she left him: what might he have told her? What could he have said instead of telling her to wait?

He tries, as much as he can, to believe that she has come through many horrors before and she will make it through this one, too.

When she comes back....augh. I can only imagine, as someone who lost his family at a young age, that there is a part of him that believes that someone who is gone in this way is gone forever, lost to him save cold marble sepulchers and flowers once a year.

So to lose her and to see her returned? I don't think he ever really let himself believe she was gone forever, but even so I think it was difficult to believe that she is back. And of course, once he has a moment to process this, he is determined to tell her all the things he could not say before. Having faced the loss of her, he won't waste this second chance.

[purposefully-lost]

Prey Animal, Acknowledgements

There are a lot of people that should be listed here. My mother, for one. Stephanie Reid, who stood by me for a lot longer than anyone would've expected her to. Maria Finch, the only agent I could ever agree to work with. I could even thank the late Devon Morris for that little favor he did for me, way back when. I could thank everyone who read this far. But I didn't write this book for any of you.

I wrote this for someone who has been dead for a long time, now. I did so because I was tired of the way he and I were being remembered. I have not and never will shy away from the fact that Jack was a murderer. He caused a lot of people a lot of pain. There are some things that even I will never forgive him for. But long, long before that, he'd been a stupid little kid trying to catch bugs out in the woods, and I have never been able to forget that. He liked fantasy books and beetles and Fleetwood Mac. He loved his dog. I think he wanted, very badly, to be alive. I think- and I do truly believe this- that he would have been one of the greatest figures in rock music who had ever lived if his father hadn't killed that bunny when he was fifteen.

If you feel that you will never understand why I loved him, fine. If you find me unforgivable, if you believe that I should be convicted for everything I hid, fine. The only thing that is important to me is that someone else in the world knows who Jack was. You will never know him the way I did, but I can't die being the only person who knew anything about him at all.

E.M. Forster's Maurice was a comfort to him as a teenager. He loved the movie, which I showed to him. He was very nearly recruited into his high school's theater department to play Lurch in the Addam's Family. Very few times in his life was he a liar. I've filled a book up with facts about him and there are still things I didn't have room for.

And I loved him. Still do. Always will. I've spent all of my life looking for him, and I'm not quite done, yet.