#i wormed my way out of it by not having litter but my mom bought litter but i wormed my way out of it by it being dark and the light doesnt

[nomairuins]

i never even made that potato i will noww make the potato and then go to sleep nd tmrw i have to do the litterbox

[umikawa]

Strawberries and Cigarettes

Aha, ignore the title that doesn’t really apply, I was just listening to the song the entire time I wrote this. Akiteru brainrot day seven.Yeah, i dunno how to write that kind of stuff so i just did the basic lines i always hear yk k bye. Also, italicized is where the scene changes or its that stuff.

Akiteru Tsukishima x Gn Reader, college au-ish. wc: 1.8k 

Warnings: Suggestive content. Mentions sex, drinking, cigarettes, and cliffs. Explicit language, not a lot I think, possibly only one word.

This is 16+ content, borderline 17+! Please don’t read it if your below the age. It doesn’t progress to smut just so you know, it’s only implied three times.

Drunken bodies sway around you, grinding down on each other to the beat of the music and the flash of the lights. Hands trail across bodies at the snack table, someone slamming a body onto the chips, laughs ringing out from the girl as they continued to make out in the ranch dip. An arm wraps around your shoulder, a warm blow of air skimming across your ear.

Akiteru Tsukishima. You didn’t know him well, he was just another guy in your class, always running late nearly every day. He seemed like a nice guy, appearance-wise, but you always felt he had different intentions. 

“Got a light?” He asks, holding a cigarette between his lips. 

You hold the flame up to the end, looking up at him with parted lips as he inhales, his larger hand coming up to the side of your face, blowing the smoke between your lips. 

“Tsukishima.” You mutter, looking up at him through your lashes. 

“Let’s go for a drive, (Name).” He says, waiting for your response. With a single nod, his hand wraps around your waist, leading you out of the house and to his car. “Sorry about the cig smell in here, there should be a can of air freshener in the glove box.” He apologizes, climbing into the front seat. 

You perk a brow at him, how did a can of air freshener fit in a glove box. Staring at the five-inch bottle you blink, turning it between your hand. 

“Strawberry?” 

He laughs sheepishly, pulling out of the driveway. “Covers up the smell pretty good. Plus my brother bought it for me.” 

You nod, spraying it in the backseat, staring at the white stain on the carpet. “Bold of you to hook up in here, one hit and this car falls.” 

He rolls his eyes, holding his cigarette between his fingers. “It’s not what you think it is. I had to buy a cake for my brother's birthday and the whipped cream melted.” You shrug, spraying the freshener towards him. “Hey! And don’t think I missed that comment about my car, this baby has kept me going since high school.” 

“Okay, geezer.” He scoffed, flicking the spent ashes into the tray in his cup holder. “Where are we going anyway?” You ask, leaning back against the seat. 

He glanced at you, “Don’t know, just driving. Have a place?” 

“I want food.” 

He laughs at your response, putting out his cigarette, resting one hand on the shift knob, and the other on the steering wheel. “As you wish.” He jokes, laughing again at the roll of your eyes.

“That’ll be seventeen dollars and fifty-two cents please.”

Before you could take out money, he waved his hand at you and slipped his card into the reader, smiling when you looked up at him. 

“I’ll pay you back.” You tell him while walking back to his car. 

“No need.” He says, nearly dropping the bag in his hands when he looks through his window. “The keys are in the car.” You look from your side, staring at the keys still in the ignition. “And the doors are locked.”

“You don’t have a spare with someone?” 

He shakes his head.

Liar. 

He sat on the hood, patting the spot next to him. It’s quiet while you eat, stifled laughter when the other chews slowly in the silence, pained pats to the back when a fry goes down the wrong way. You feel his stare on you, turning your head only for him to be near inches from you, eyes trained on your lips. 

“Tsukishima, we just met.” 

He blinks, face flushing as he backs away. “Sorry.” 

He becomes a part of your daily life, beginning to sit next to you during lectures since he was “the best at convincing people” more like his wallet did most of the convincing. He started to worm himself through to your heart like he wanted, wrapping himself around it. 

He’s sprawled out on your bed while you’re at your desk, his eyes boring into the back of your head as he continues to sigh loudly.

“What do you want, Akiteru.” 

“Let’s go out for a drive.” He whines, flinging a pillow at you blindly, apologizing loudly when something clatters to the ground. 

You pick up the can of pencils, placing them back onto your desk. “You couldn’t have asked like a normal person? Instead of sounding like a girl who’s faking their orgasm?” 

“Wait, they fake it?” 

“Who knows.” You said, closing your textbook. “Come on, I wanna be home before midnight this time.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He muttered, pushing you out of the door. “Mind if we stop by my house?” 

“Long as you don’t plan on telling your mom I’m you’re s/o.” You mumbled, rubbing the side of your head. “Not that it’d be a bad thing, just don’t want her to get any ideas.” 

“Oh? So what I’m hearing is that you wouldn’t mind me being your boyfriend?” 

“Don’t push your luck.” 

The drive is quiet for the most part, his terrible singing filling your ears whenever a song he knew came on the radio. He laughed when you flicked his arm, holding the spot where you hit him. 

“Alright, this is it.” You looked out the window, staring at his place. “A little cautious advice, my brother can be a little closed-off. And slightly rude.” 

“Everything you’re not?” You try, laughing when he shoved your shoulder. “I’ll be fine don’t worry, I’ve dealt with drunk you after all.”

He shivered, remembering that he made out without blindly at another party he went with you to, shitty bathroom lights making it hard to tell it was you. But you had to have enjoyed it yourself right? You don’t make out with your best friend for ten minutes without feeling anything right? 

“I’m home!” He called out, holding the door open for you. 

“Akiteru! Oh, you’ve brought a friend!” 

He pushes you forward, hand on the small of your back. “This is (Name), my best friend.” He says, ignoring the strain of his voice when he uttered the words. “Where’s Kei?” 

At the sound of his name, the latter groaned, peeking from his door. “Who’s that.”

“I’m (Name), nice to meet you.” You say, waving at him. He narrows his eyes at you, nodding his head once. “Wow, seems like a happy guy.” You blurt, turning your head when the door whips open, Akiteru hiding his laughter, mother shaking her head with a smile before leaving the room.

“What was that?” 

“Said you seem like a happy guy, correct me if I’m wrong though.” You smile, holding your hands behind your back.

 He narrows his eyes at you again, pushing his glasses up. “I suppose you’re okay.” He muttered, shutting his room door. 

The next month is final exam time, students rushing to their dorms, partygoers slowly declining in numbers since some did want to graduate still. Akiteru sat beside you, chin resting on your shoulder as you took notes, finger looping around the band of your sweats. 

“If you’re horny there’s a bathroom in the other room.” You mumble, crossing out a vocabulary word. “Otherwise, wait.” He whined, lips dragging across your neck and down to your collarbones before he bit down. “Ow.” 

“Sorry babe.” He muttered, licking the bruising skin. “Can I leave a few?” 

“Fine. But if you make me mess up I’m not going to relieve you.” He huffs, moving under your arm for better access. “Jesus Chr- Akiteru what did I just say?” You say, rubbing your head when it came out a little too loud. “Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean to raise my voice it’s just these stupid exam preps.” You mumble. 

“Babe.” He says, cupping your cheek. “Take a break.” 

“Aki.” 

“It’ll make you feel better come on.” He says, dragging you to the bed before flopping down on it. “Come on.” He smiles when you lay on top of him, tucking your face into his neck, shivers going down his spine as he feels your breath against his neck. He flinches when you bite down, fingers digging into your hips, holding back the groan when your tongue pressed against it. “(Name) right there.” 

“I know Aki.” You whisper, kissing under his chin. 

“There’s no way I can cover all of these up Akiteru.” You say, pulling his shirt down in the mirror. 

“Like I’m any better (Name), you leech.” He muttered, staring at the dozens of hickies littering his body, wincing when you flick his forehead. “Well, do you feel better now?” 

You look up at him, his hand resting on top of your head. “I do. Thank you for reminding me to take a 

break, Aki.” You say, lifting your head to kiss him. “wanna go for a drive?” 

“One hit and this car falls.” 

“Don’t stop.” 

“You feel so good.” 

The sun still shining from the edge of the cliff, the blue sky turned dark, cold air breezing past you. 

“The keys aren’t in the car, are they?” You ask, leaning against his chest. A laugh rang out, his hand coming up to his pockets, panicking when they weren’t in there. You raise your hand, swinging the keys around your finger. “You left them in the ignition, saw it when we were, you know.”

 He flushes, turning his head the other way with a ‘hmph!’ “Why don’t you drive this time, huh, maybe then we won’t lock ourselves out.” 

“We’re on a mountain with a lot of wide turns is that a good idea?” He contemplates for a moment, remembering when he let you drive once and raced another car with his shabby 86 and won, only because you drifted the last corner. 

He snatched keys from you, shaking his head. “I choose life.” Laughing, you bump your shoulder against his, standing up from the car. “Come on, I told my mom I’d bring you for dinner.” 

“We need to shower first.” 

“I know, we’ll go to your place and get ready before we leave.” He says, opening his door. 

“Slow down.” 

“Sorry, sorry you feel- god, you feel so good.” 

“That’s the third time this week, horndog.” You mutter, stretching your legs. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, laying his head on your arm. “I couldn’t help myself.” He rubs your waist, pressing small kisses to your arm. “Thanks for giving me a chance, (Name).” 

You hum, turning your head to peck his crown. “Thanks for bothering me at that party.” He laughs at your words, pulling you to rest on top of his chest, legs on either side of his waist. “We were just in this position, give me a break.” 

“Bear with me for a minute babe.” He says, holding the sides of your face, thumbs resting on your bottom lip. “I love you.” Eyes widening, you gape at him, tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. He sits up abruptly at the sight of your tears, wiping them away with his palms. “Hey, why are you crying? Should I not have said it?” He panicked. 

“No no, I’m glad you said it, happy I’m happy.” You mumble, laughing at yourself. “It just caught me off guard.” You lean down to kiss him, tasting the cigarette he had earlier, paired with the familiar strawberry chapstick he wore. “I love you too.” 

[mocacheezy]

Good news about kitty!

Her stomach and bladder problems are probably because of the usual kitten problems (no idea if "worms" is the correct translation, but it's that thing that all kittens get). She also cleaned her ears, saying it looks like the regular earwax buildup and should be fine, and also gave her an antibiotic after the worms-be-gone pill.

We're also going to talk about her sterilization, since she'll be 6 months old next month, si all in all, things look worse than they are, and the little gremlin is going to be okay. ✨✨✨✨

(Extra visit ramble below because first time vet appointment and I am a rambler)

Okay so, she was actually inside of the carrier about an hour before we had to leave, but then she got the nyoomies. Got inside with no fuss once she saw that TheDoorShallOpen, which usually means Harness time and walkies.

It was loud, because city in the morning is loud and the traffic is crazy, so she was spooked. Didn't wail though, and calmed down during the times I talked to her for a bit with her tiny meows as per usual when she's spooked. Bus came, the ride was bumpy, and after those 15mins or so we arrived and went inside the clinic. I expected the vet to be the older woman that answered the phone yesterday, but it was the younger of the two.

So we come into the room and, Pikica being Pikica, calmly and curiously gets out of the carrier herself and starts sniffling around the examination table, lets the lady touch her, doesn't fight the check up and is more curious about everything.

She gets weighted and again, tries to jump off that table because ✨exploring✨

She got her ears cleaned with a liquid solution and only did the kind of play/warning bites she does. The "Stop this, I don't like it" kind of bite where she just holds the hand with her teeth but doesn't bite down yet. She does it when she has enough of being petted but wants to be in the lap still.

So the ears are cleaned and Pikica is, as one would be, not in a very good mood. But oh welp, she is small and she does look friendly, and the fuss during the cleaning wasn't THAT bad... But then came the pill.

And she did not like the pill. So she had to go into a burrito.

The burrito did not contain the spawn of the Peace Destroyer. (or, as her mom's actual, non-translated name is, Kazimira)

The older vet had to come in and help. Double burrito, held by the scruff of her neck and STILL Pikica was a challenge.

I didn't think she'd be such a fighter but she was.

And then came the antibiotic shot. And THAT was another fight, but over relatively soon. I got the instructions on what to do, and came to the waiting room so I could pay the bill.

Three small/middle sized dogs. Pikica hissed exactly ince, but calmed down since the dogs weren't interested (and also nothing like the big dog my neighbours have. Very pretty and VERY playful that one).

It's my turn and the bill was surprisingly not as high as I though it'd be? Like, 28€ with the medications included?? That was a relief!

Especially because depending on the information I give tommorow during the call, I might need to come over there again. So the visit + bus pass refill for both ways + whatever I need to get for her is also gonna be taken into account.

But anyways, we get home (had to ring the appartment owner because I forgot my keys in my rush to the vet), and I open the carrier.

The little lady walks out, sniffs around a bit, circles back and starts smelling the carrier and the latches on top.

I had to go to the store to get the cat litter and food + finally bought her toys to chew since she's a tiny lil monster when it comes to playtime and loves to be rough.

So I am expecting that after her extended nap (that the little demon also made me take with her) she will be playing with these... And finally carry them around without a plastic stick smacking everything behond her kije the old toy did XD

[som3thingcr3ative]

By Her Blood 4

Wow! I’m alive under these piles of school work! Here’s a present for those who have been patiently waiting for more of these two :)

Synopsis: You’re not allowed to stay in a bubble with Ivar forever, so now it’s time for work. Thankfully your not-so-new abilities can help out. 

warnings for this chapter: anything that applies with Vikings applies here. 

Last time: “I get that.” You say eventually. “But it doesn’t change what happened. I can’t forget so easily.” Her face falls, a tear slipping down her cheek. Your father moves to comfort her, the armor forgotten. “We can start with you accepting that Ivar is part of my life now. We can move on, make things better from here on out.”

Your mom nods. She looks at Ivar, at the defined muscles of his chest and arms, the intimidating span of his shoulders. “You’ll protect my little girl?” She asks. Before you can protest that you’re not her little anything any more, Ivar nods. “With my life.” He vows. 

You’ll come to wish he’d never said that.

You should’ve known things wouldn’t be that easy for long. That same day, less than 24 hours after Ivar re-corporated, your parents have work. 

That means that you’re expected to be at the scene. 

Ivar refuses to leave your side, so he’s standing beside you, leaning on the crutch you’d bought at Goodwill just an hour ago, glaring wordlessly as the archaeologists dig. “What are they looking for?” He asks you, squinting against the light. You can just see your mother’s head over the lip of the ditch as she works, your father somewhere out of sight nearby. 

“Any relics from the past,” you answer, glancing over at the sleepy, bleary-eyed group of teenagers who’d just come onto the site with their parents. “Anything that’s in good shape is a bonus.”

“They’re looking in the wrong spot then.” Ivar grudgingly admits. He slides his eyes to the right, toward the base of a sloping hill. There’s a small stone ruin atop it, crumbling from hundreds of years of brutal weather. 

Laney is the first to spot you. Her gaze darts to Ivar, to the sweatpants that hide his leg braces, the dark t-shirt stretched over his chest and arms. His hair is still braided, but he looks vastly different than he had the night before. Not different enough, though. Her mouth drops open and she smacks the shoulder of the guy next to her- Lee turns on her, about to yell at her for hitting him when he sees you.

“Can I tell them?” You ask, knowing that it may be a sensitive topic for him. As it is, you don’t know that you’d be comfortable with someone poking around your burial site, or even somewhere you’d buried anything. 

His shoulders tense as he catches sight of the group of teens watching you. They’re whispering to each other and staring quite obviously, probably gossiping. “Let’s go over there.” He offers, reaching out to squeeze your hand. “I want to see how much it’s changed.”

The two of you walk over, your fingers drifting through the tall grasses of the field, his shoulder brushing yours with every other step. Thankfully your ex-friends don’t follow you. For a moment there’s nothing but the quiet brush of the tall grasses, the sigh of the wind until Ivar stops, looking around. 

“Here.” He says, lowering himself to the ground at the base of the hill. The grass here is shorter but darker, nutrient-rich. You pick a few blades idly, twisting them in your palm. “I want you to try something.”

Ivar holds out his hands, palm-up. You place yours over his, fingers against his wrist. “Now what?” 

“Close your eyes and call to the spirits.” As your eyes close, you can feel the warmth of him against your hands. The spirits surround you almost before you call, their voices louder and more demanding than usual. Just inside of the ring they make around you, Ivar’s spirit pulses with power and golden light, washing over you in waves. The warmth from his power makes your blood rush in your veins, thrumming through your body like an electric current. “Focus,” he calls to you, his voice distant. “Now go past the spirits, call to your blood, feel the earth beneath you.”

At first there’s nothing. How do you call to something you’d never given much thought to before? Ivar’s grip tightens on your hands, the squeeze close to painful as he centers you. “I don’t know how.” 

“Yes you do. Focus on the wind, on the solid ground beneath you. Feel the blades of grass, hear the insects. Open your mind and take it all in.”

You take a deep breath of the mountain air, letting your lungs open and your back stretch. Something nags on the edge of your senses, a little hint of untapped power. Another deep breath, an answering grip on Ivar’s hands and you reach out, consciousness going past the spirits to a deeper connection. 

All at once your senses are flooded with too much information. You can feel the pounding of your heart, the trace of your blood through your veins, the pulse of your muscles as they keep you upright. Beyond you, the earth hums with life; worms and grubs and tiny beetles in the soil, mice flitting through the tall grasses, ants gathering food and tending to their young, the slither of a snake tracking prey. The air is full of twisting currents and birds soaring high, refusing to be limited to the ground. It whips and whirls and twists, singing through your hearing and raising the hair on your arms. 

“Call to the earth,” Ivar says, his voice so distant it’s like a faded memory in the vivid new world you’ve discovered. “Feel what’s beneath you. Bring it to you, slowly.”

With a frown, you concentrate your energy on his words, searching down, down, down through new soil and ancient, past rocks and bones until you find what he was talking about. 

The Viking burial mound is vast and deep, buried so long that the earth has grown around it, accepting it into the embrace of decay. You cannot possibly bring everything up to you at once. There’s a skeleton lying near the top, a shield maiden whose sword was ritually killed when she was buried, her shield and the trinkets she was interred with still mostly intact. Your energy focuses on her, maneuvering her through the soil, drawing her towards you. 

Brunnhilde, the spirits murmur. You see flashes of a vibrant blonde, her long hair braided back, her clothes always suited for battle. She has stocky features, her shoulders broad and her arms toned, her hands calloused. Her death was honorable. The valkyries called to her and she went as a warrior should, sending her killer to meet his god.

Her sword breaches the ground first, bent metal shedding dirt as it lays at your feet. Next comes her shield, then the crown of her skull. Ivar is silent as her skeleton pieces itself together, lying the same way she was buried with her hands on the rusted handle of her sword, her shield over her legs. The trinkets rise faster, shooting out of the ground with little pops, tumbling through the air and falling beside her. 

Your eyes open to see the skeleton before you, the rush of power still in your body screaming that you can do more. Ivar’s brilliant blue eyes are on you, watching every little nuance in your expression. “Amazing.” he whispers. 

“I did that?”

“Yes.”

A giddy feeling steals over your body, raising the hairs on your arms. “I can summon skeletons,” you whisper, staring at the bones before you. The sword is completely rusted, the metal almost unrecognizable past the decay and oxidation, the leather of the hilt long gone, but it’s still beautiful. Her shield is petrified, the metal around the edge in a similar state to the sword, but you can remember the color is used to be; blue and white, streaked with blood. The memory isn’t yours; it belongs to Brunnhilde, a vision of the shield resting against the pole of her tent after a skirmish. Your eyes meet Ivar’s. “Can I tell my parents?”

His brows furrow. “Will they disturb the land?”

“I won’t let them. I can bring everything to the surface- or hide whatever you want me to.”

“Hide,” he murmurs, eyes losing focus. For a minute you just watch the subtle play of his thoughts across his features before he snaps back to himself, blue eyes vividly bright. “There is something I would ask of you.” He says, pushing himself to his feet with the crutch. You don’t help him; you know it would be an insult unless he asks for help. “Up there,” a nod toward the crumbling stone dwelling. 

You follow him up the hill and into the ring of stone that marks the foundation of the building. He sits down on one of the fallen stone bricks, making himself comfortable. “What am I looking for?” You ask him, settling on the ground with you palms against the soil. Now that you’ve reached out to nature around you, the persistent hum of life remains on the outside of your senses. 

“You’ll know when you feel it.” He replies.

With a sigh, you close your eyes and reach out, diving deep into the soil. Just like before, the life in the uppermost layers surprises you, but you move past it much easier than you did the first time. As you breach the lower layers, getting close to the level of the burial mound, something catches your attention: Saxon bones litter the ground, becoming more and more frequent until entire skeletons show themselves, each full body on its knees, bent forward over itself, bowing. Some have their heads cleaved from their spines, others have broken ribs. All of them carry an attached soul, bound to the bones and screaming for release. 

Their voices rise around you, calling and begging to be free. The Viking, they scream. He did this. He killed us. Their memories follow quickly: a barn with darkness all around. Six Saxon soldiers sit around a fire in the center of the barn’s floor, slaughtered animals around them. Three viking women and a child are bound hand and foot nearby, their eyes terrified, the youngest of the women naked with blood coating her thighs. The soldiers jump as something rustles in the darkness just outside the ring of light from their fire. They laugh as Ivar crawls toward them, twin axes on his hips, blades strapped to his arms and chest. His eyes scream murder, his lips set in a determined line. He doesn’t falter as he approaches the soldiers, doesn’t even flinch before he takes an ax from his belt and throws it at the nearest of the soldiers. 

The soldier dies before he knows what happened, his chest split open. Ivar kills the other five in quick succession, freeing the women and child who’d been abducted from the camp. 

You feel no pity for the soldiers; they’d kidnapped and tortured innocent women- wives of the raiding party, had nearly killed the young child. Being bound to their bones was the least of what they deserved- and you quickly realize it wasn’t all they got. Their bodies form a circle, all bowing to something in the center of their ring; a hollow rod of silver, enclosed at both ends, barely the length of your pinkie finger. The vial is as perfectly smooth and blemish-free as the day it was crafted, you realize, the energy radiating from it the same as the energy barely two feet from you. 

“Ivar,” You say, your eyes still closed. “What is it?”

His crutch shifts against the stone. A pebble falls somewhere on the outside of the ruin, clacking against stone as it tumbles toward the hill. “The last of my ashes.”

The vial comes easily toward you, parting the ground before it in a perfect circle. Magic. Magic has been keeping it in perfect condition, preserving the curse Ivar put on the saxons so long ago. So long as his ashes were in the earth, the saxons would be hard-pressed to live peacefully. With the last of the true saxons long dead, Ivar had no reason to maintain the curse. 

“What do you want with it?” You ask, finally opening your eyes once the vial has cleared the last layers of the earth and is safely in Ivar’s hand. He stares curiously at it, turning it over and over. 

“It’s a reminder.” He says. “A reminder that I’m mortal.”

“Is it still cursed?”

He laughs. “Yes, dove, the curse remains, but it is of no consequence to either of us.” You watch as he places the chain over his head, as the vial settles against his chest. The silver gleams in the light, the aura of the ashes mixing with Ivar’s aura; the same, but also different. “You can tell your parents about the burial ground- but they must respect the Viking dead; you have to be the one to remove them from their rest.”

“Deal.” You say, standing up and brushing off your legs. “Let’s go blow their minds!”

“Ivar?” you ask, a minute later as the two of you walk back to the dig site. “Modern medicine...well, it has therapies for people with osteogenesis imperfecta- they could help you. I completely understand if you don’t want to, but there’s no shame in it. They could at least help with the pain.”

He glances over at you, half-smiling. “I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. I’ve seen all of their advances, remember?”

“Oh.”

“It’s okay, dove.” He says. “I never had true hope of a cure when I was living before. I gave up on it after a while, and when I died, I didn’t feel the pain anymore. Now that I feel it again…” He sighs, glancing at his legs. “If it will make you happy, I’ll look into it.”

You twine your fingers with his, bumping playfully into his shoulder. “You don’t like doctors, do you?”

A laugh. “No, love. No, I don’t.”

“I don’t want you to be in pain, that’s all.”

He glances askance at you, eyes glittering oddly. “They don’t bother you?”

You yank him to a sudden stop. “Nothing about you bothers me, Ivar. I love your legs just as much as the rest of you- but they hurt you, and I hate that you have to live in constant pain. You don’t have to, that’s all I’m saying. I want this for you, but only if you want it too.”

He smiles at you, tugging you against his chest. For a second he just watches you, his eyes lingering on yours. Then he pulls you in, kissing you fiercely, his arm slipping around your waist. “I love you.” He murmurs against your lips, wisps of his hair tickling your cheeks. You hum, pressed against the firm lines of his chest, eyes still closed. Ivar kisses you again, just the soft pressure of his lips against yours. Your chest fills with warmth, stomach flipping, heart racing. 

“I love you too.” You tell him, finally opening your eyes. He’s so close you can see the tiny patterns in his irises. 

“I’ll see a doctor only if you go with me.”

“Whatever you want.”

“Okay.” He says, taking a deep breath. “Now let’s go tell your parents.”

Tagging (open): @tis-itheapplepie @pixievampira @demonhunter1616 @hexqueensupreme @thorins-queen-of-erebor @grippleback-galaxy​ @readsalot73​ @glassythoughts @youbloodymadgenius

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[astereaholloway]

- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

[valomile]

Captain’s Log: March 26 - April 5

March 26th:

While I was walking out of the mall at the end of my shift, I winced for a second as I heard somebody wailing at me from a car--it turned out to be Abby and K--Abby yelled from the passenger window, “Val!! We saw a crow!!” and I replied, “Cool, you saw a friend!!” Abby sent me a picture of the crow later.

March 27th:

Before work, the cute asian ?girl who works at Starbucks asked me if my name is pronounced “Valentine” or “Valenteen.” It’s always nice to see ?her.

Abby seemed a little off which activated the old-lizard-brain-threat-based-anxiety in me. Instead of assuming it was about me, I asked her how she was doing; she was scatterbrained from having so much to do.

As I was finishing up, my boss--the one that I suspect is a vampire and once said that a long time ago her regular breakfast was a fudgsicle and a coke at the bus stop--told me about a phone call she just had. Some kid was quite nervous about coming in to shop for his aunt. It went something like:

“I’m a boy.”

“Okay.”

“Is it okay if I shop here?”

“Absolutely.”

“Should I call ahead before I come in?”

“Not at all! Whoever’s in that day will be happy to help you.”

My boss thought it was sad and cute at the same time: sad, for obvious reasons, and cute, because he was very happy it wasn’t a problem for him to come in, and it’s always nice to make somebody happy without actually having to do anything.

March 28th:

I got up not that early, showered, flossed my teeth and put on a pretty great outfit: ripped black denim, a white sleeveless hoodie littered with holes (sleeveless hoodies are #ftm culture), and my olive corduroy jacket with the fuzzy collar that I call the “Rick Grimes Jacket.”

The sky was still miserable but the air was crisper than yesterday. I waited at the bus stop feeling not to hot and not too cold, refreshed, and relieved that my hair might not get too poofy for once even though it was still damp.

Note: While I was getting a mocha at the Tim’s in St. Joe’s, I saw a beautiful person leaving the cafeteria. They had round glasses and bleached hair, and literally turned my head. I was in such a good mood after seeing them that, when I was walking home I didn’t even care when I spilt my coffee on my nice outfit. I just thought, “well, ain’t that how it is.”

March 29th:

At skills group, we each wrote down a thought about P, our group member who passed away suddenly of natural causes, on colourful slips of paper. I noted simply, “she participated,” because she did, more than anyone else in our group at the time.

The group leader’s face flushed red as she read each card. She started to cry as she read the last one sitting in the bottom of the metal bowl she collected them in--it was about how P wanted to be a better mom.

M, the older guy, was also quite emotional about P being gone. I remember thinking, “I wish I could be that way. I can’t even cry when I’m by myself.” D, who doesn’t talk much and looks like a girl version of Ben, commented that it was brave of him to be so vulnerable and that it showed that he is a strong person. I noticed how sad and vulnerable she herself looked when she said that: dark under the eyes, swallowed up by her coat.

March 31st:

I went to Shoppers to pick up my meds. While I was there I bought toiletries and a squishy pink Easter rabbit with creepy little nodules all over it, like the Easter chick K bought for me. Later I found out that it also lights up when you smack it. I sent K an Insta story of it lighting up, with the caption, “more Shoppers bullshit <3.″ She replied, “Val I love it so much! Body Farm the shit out of that!!”

April 2nd:

Entry is a Body Farm drawing of PTSD Boy and a worm mermaid.

April 3rd:

Stock didn’t show up at work until later in my shift, so I just kept up with cleaning up the old shit. When the “Bad Man” eventually came with his boxes, he also brought a friend. “I wonder what’s in this box,” vampire boss remarked, “it’s so heavy and awkward.” Either the Bad Man or his friend replied, “that’s what they said about me in highschool.”

Note: Things that I want to do but don’t while in retail hell include wearing as many bras as possible, tagging my shirt with one hundred sensor tags and walking out of the store, and hanging the longest clothes hanger waterfall ever from the ceiling. All good uses of my time.

April 5th:

When I got on the bus to go down the Mountain, the bus going the opposite direction pulled in to the stop across the street at the very same time. The bus driver on my bus was one that I definitely recognize and he said, “hey!” It was very satisfying.

At group, we got stuck on the concept of “enoughness” for a bit. The group leader drew a scale on the smartboard, with 0% Enough on one side and 100% Enough on the other. L, the one that looks like a brown version of Abby, said that although she doesn’t like her, Amal Clooney is 100% Enough. Sadly, one person offered themselves as 0% Enough. I, being a smartass, said that depending on the context, anyone could be anywhere on the scale, given how abstract and unquantifiable “enoughness” is, and the group resident nodded.

The group leader asked, “does anyone really know what it means to be enough?” and L replied, “I do. You just know.”