#i worked on this for awhile but im releasing it even if im not happy with it bc i need to let it gooo let it goooo

[brawcolie]

settling is the sign of a dying man

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Currently rewatching cm rn and i saw that you requests are open and i honestly love your blog and your writing so i decided to make a request.So i was thinking,spencer is in jail and when reader goes to see him she tells him that she’s pregnant (yk that scene where jj shows him henry draw?Instead is reader showing him the ultrasound)sorry if this doesn’t make any sense,hope you have a great night/day🩷🫶🏻

i was trying to find that scene you were talking about but couldn’t, but i get what you mean. liaison!fem reader

spencer was being framed and you haven’t seen him in a month. the team kept work on his case while dealing with the active ones, whenever there was a spare moment you’d look over the files collected and try to see if something might stick out to you. you weren’t a seasoned profiler, but you’ve been around them for ten years that bits and pieces get picked up.

you needed spencer, you needed his arms wrapped around you so you could sleep soundly. you needed his random facts so you could always ask him more questions. you needed his sweet kisses and delicate hands leaving you dreamy and breathless.

you needed your husband so you didn’t have to raise your child alone. a palm rubbed over your small bump, one of spencer’s sleep shirts swallowing your figure. “i’m gonna bring daddy home. don’t worry.” whispering choked as you were hunched at your dining table with the scattered files staring up at you.

tomorrow was your day to visit spencer. you’ll bring the ultrasound picture with you so he could maybe sneak it onto his person. you wanted to give him another reason to keep himself safe as the days tick by.

there were many different families in the visiting room, young children were even sat at the cold metal tables. your knee kept bouncing from anxiety and your fingers held onto small photo, you tried not to bend or curl it.

you perked up when one by one, inmates were escorted to their tables. the officers reminding everyone, “no physical touch from inmate or visitor.” you took a shaky exhale when spencer’s tall figure entered the room, he looked unharmed.

he sat down across from you, his messy curls starting to grow longer. “hi honey,” eyes getting watery at the forced separation. spencer’s smile wobbled, “hi love.”

“i- i brought you some news, it’s not for the- the case. but it’s good news.” you slowly placed the photo on the table and slid it towards spencer then pulled back, just feeling his fleeting warmth as he pulled the paper closer.

he stared down at it, mouth slightly agape. “is- is this real?” he asked quietly. his eyes looked to you and you nodded with a few tears sliding down your cheeks, “i’m three months along.”

spencer licked his lips then dragged his palms down his face, “holy shit.” you heard his whisper. you stuffed your hands under your thighs, “are- are you happy?” voice cracked on the word happy.

spencer was quick to snap his eyes to you, his eyes softening and brows pinching. he started to reach a hand out, but pulled it back to the photo. “of course. this is the best thing to happen to us, i’m just- i’m just worried. emily said it might be awhile and im worried that i’ll miss so much with you and the baby, they might not even know who i am when i’m released.”

you didn’t want to get his hopes up, you didn’t want to get your hopes up. “we’re working on it twenty four seven. it shouldn’t be long before you’re free, and i always play the recording of your ted talks or lectures when i go to sleep. it calms both of us.”

you always made sure to talk about spencer with your growing fetus. making sure you constantly remind them, “your daddy loves you. he’s just somewhere for the time being, but he’ll be home soon.”

the guards reappeared and told everyone their time was up. “keep it,” you jerked your chin at the photo. spencer quickly slipped it into his uniform pocket and stood from the table, hesitating for a moment. “i love you. i love you both.” he said before leaving the room.

[coffeeshades]

credits to the gif maker!

GUILTY AS SIN...? - PART II

summary: one summer with the man you can't have, but can't stop thinking about.

pairing: cillian murphy x popstar!reader

word count: 9.1k

warnings: 18+ (minors dni). explicit sex. angst. cussing, slight age gap, mentions of alcohol and divorce. no use of y/n, heavily inspired by ts and ttpd. if i missed something please let me know. (also this is a work of fiction, none of it reflects how i feel about the people mentioned in this, most importantly cillian's wife, who im sure is a sweetheart irl. it's fiction, just relax and enjoy it, and if not, move along, friends.)

a/n: hi everyone! here's the second part, finally. i had lots of fun writing this one, happy reading <3

part one

After staying at Cillian's for awhile, you decided to go to the place you had rented. The truth is, you didn't want to leave, but you had already extended your stay longer than planned, and you wanted to give him space with his kids. And you also wanted to give him time to process the event that took place four nights ago in his bathroom. Or you wanted to give yourself time to process it.

At this point, you weren't sure who needed the space more.

It was all very confusing because, yes, you've had feelings for him for God knows how long, but you've squashed them down like a stubborn bug for the sake of your friendship and, most importantly, his family. Those two things were always at the forefront of your mind, guiding every action and decision. But now that his family is no longer a factor and the two of you almost crossed a line, it's hard to ignore those feelings.

Those feelings that crawl up your spine every time he smiles at you or brushes against your hand accidentally. Those feelings also make you feel like the worst person in the world, as if you're betraying his ex-wife and their children by even entertaining the idea of something more with him.

It's all so delicate.

The cottage is nestled between rolling green hills and the glimmering blue of a distant sea. The place is like a warm embrace. The floors are laid with wide, honey-colored wooden planks, their surface worn smooth by generations of footsteps. Exposed wooden beams crisscross the ceiling, their rich, dark wood adding a sense of history and sturdiness to the space. The walls are painted in a soft, creamy white. The master bedroom is a haven of tranquility, with white linen curtains billowing softly in the breeze from the open window. The bed, with its wrought iron frame, is piled high with quilts and pillows in soft shades of blue and green. It's the best sleep you've had in months.

It rained earlier today. You've stayed inside all day, not wanting to venture out into the wet weather. The gentle pitter-patter of raindrops against the window was a soothing backdrop to your day, but it stopped around mid-afternoon, leaving behind a fresh, clean scent in the air.

Now you’re sitting at the rustic wooden table beneath the pergola, one leg tucked under you, grapevines overhead casting dappled shadows on the weathered wood. The garden around you is alive with color—wildflowers in every shade imaginable sway gently in the soft breeze, and the lavender and rosemary release their fragrant scent into the air.

Bon Iver’s voice drifts softly from your phone, which lies next to your notepad on the table. The music is haunting, its melancholy tones matching the weight in your chest. You’ve been here for hours, or maybe it’s only been minutes—time seems to blur together lately.

The notepad lies open beside you, filled with half-written lyrics, fragments of thoughts and emotions that you can’t quite bring yourself to finish. The pages are messy, scribbled lines crossed out, some words barely legible, as if your hand couldn’t keep up with the rush of thoughts.

You’ve been chasing this dream for so long—touring, recording, performing in front of thousands of people—but somewhere along the way, you’ve lost sight of why you started. The music that once brought you so much joy now feels like a burden; the words that once flowed effortlessly are now tangled up in doubt and frustration. The applause, the fame, the success—it’s all there, but it feels hollow. It feels lonely.

The sun is beginning to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the water, but you’re too tired to move. You prop one leg up the chair and rest your chin on your hand. You focus on the water, trying to find some solace in its steady flow. But all you can feel is a deep, gnawing sense of unfulfillment, a yearning for something you can’t even name.

How pathetic.

You’re tired, so tired, and the dream that once seemed so bright now feels like a chore.

The door creaks open behind you, and you catch the faint sound of footsteps on the stone path. You don’t need to turn around to know it’s him. Cillian moves with a certain quietness, a soft presence that you’ve come to recognize. The footsteps grow closer until they stop just to your left.

"You should lock your door," he says, his voice low, carrying a hint of amusement but also concern.

You let out a small, tired laugh, not bothering to look up. "Didn’t think anyone would come by," you reply, your gaze still fixed on the stream; its gentle flow is the only thing that seems to make sense right now.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just stands there, his shadow blending with yours. Then he pulls out the chair next to you, the wood scraping softly against the stone, and sits down. You can feel his eyes on you, but he doesn’t press, just lets the silence settle around you both.

You hear him shift beside you, and from the corner of your eye, you see him glance down at the notepad on the table. His gaze lingers on the unfinished words, but he doesn’t say anything about them. Instead, he just leans back in his chair, looking out at the water with you.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally speaks, his voice softer, almost reflective. "I know that look. The one that says you’re miles away, stuck in your own head."

You don't respond, knowing that he understands you more than most people. The music on your phone shifts to another Bon Iver song, this time Beach Baby.

He continues. "You know, sometimes I think about all of it—this life, the fame, the roles I play. It’s bizarre, isn’t it? I spend so much time being someone else, living in someone else’s skin, that it’s easy to forget who I am when the cameras stop rolling."

His words hang in the air, and you turn your head slightly to look at him. His expression is thoughtful, his blue eyes distant, like he’s lost in his own memories. "It’s like… sometimes, I feel more like myself when I’m acting, when I’m being someone else. That's what made me fall in love with it in the first place. I just loved being somebody else. It’s easier, somehow. But then there are those moments, when the lights go out, and I’m just… me. And that’s when the loneliness creeps in."

You nod, understanding more than you’d like to admit. "It’s the same with music, I guess," you say quietly. "There’s this rush, this high, when you’re on stage, when everyone’s looking at you and you’re giving them everything you’ve got. But then it’s over, and you’re left with the silence, the emptiness. It’s like… who am I when it stops?"

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and you can see the shared understanding in his eyes. It’s a strange comfort knowing that someone else gets it, that you’re not alone in this feeling of being lost.

You take a deep breath, the weight of the words you’ve been holding back suddenly becomes too heavy to keep inside. "I guess that's why I'm here. To escape. To escape the pressure, the expectations and…just be," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "Everything is a performance. Everything. When we're out in the world, we're expected to act a certain way, to fit into a mold. We have to edit ourselves. As honest as we try to be, there's always a part of us that remains hidden. And it's exhausting."

Cillian nods, his gaze never leaving yours. "And when you’re alone, you can let go of that and let your mind just be still," he says, his voice carrying the weight of someone who’s thought about this a lot. "It’s quite peaceful, isn’t it? But it’s also… terrifying. Being alone with your thoughts, with no distractions, no one to perform for. It’s like staring into a void sometimes."

You swallow hard, the truth of his words hitting you square in the chest. "Yeah, it is. But it’s also when I feel the most myself. When it’s just me, and I don’t have to be anything for anyone. Just… here, in the quiet, letting my mind rest."

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The garden around you is alive with the soft sounds of nature—the rustling of leaves, the gentle murmur of the stream, the distant call of a bird. Bon Iver’s music still plays from your phone—Holocene.

You break the silence. "Sometimes I think about it. I think about letting go of it." It's a terrifying thought but also strangely liberating. You don't know what it means completely yet, but just saying it out loud brings relief. Cillian just looks at you, his eyes reflecting understanding and empathy.

It was so easy, existing with him.

In this moment, you feel a little less lost, a little more understood. And as the sun dips lower in the sky, a mix of orange and pink hues, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re not as alone as you thought.

The next day dawns softer, brighter. You wake up with a sense of calm that had been missing for a while. There’s a lingering warmth from yesterday, the conversation with Cillian still playing in the back of your mind. As you sat at the same wooden table this morning, you found yourself scribbling lyrics that flowed easier, more naturally. They’re different—slower, more deliberate. There’s a depth to them that feels right, as if you’re finally tapping into something real, something honest.

Last night had ended quietly. After that heavy talk in the garden, Cillian stayed for dinner. The two of you kept the conversation light, avoiding the unspoken tension. It was there, hovering between you, but neither of you brought it up. Instead, you talked about mundane things and watched Punch-Drunk Love in the quaint living room. He pointed out every little detail he liked in it, and you listened, soaking in the emotion in his voice.

When the movie ended, he promised to see you the next day, and you reassured him it was fine, that you understood his absence. You meant it, even though a part of you always ached for more of his presence.

Today, with that newfound energy, you decided to venture out. An early morning walk turned into a drive to the nearby town. You pulled on a cap and sunglasses—a funny and somewhat ineffective disguise, but it was something. The town was charming, with narrow cobblestone streets, quaint shops, and a relaxed pace. Most people didn’t give you a second glance, and for that you were grateful. It was nice to blend in, to be just another person out enjoying the day.

You wandered through the market, admired the local crafts, and even picked up a few things—a handmade bracelet, a small painting of the Irish countryside. Lunch was at a cozy little café, tucked away from the main street. You ordered a hearty bowl of seafood chowder, rich and warming, with fresh bread on the side. As you sat there savoring the meal, your phone buzzed. It was Cillian, asking if you wanted to grab drinks tonight. You hesitated, your mind running through a dozen reasons to say no, but in the end, you agreed. You wanted to see him again, even if you couldn’t quite admit how much.

Back at the cottage, you took your time getting ready. You set the atmosphere, lighting a few candles, playing some soft music in the background. It felt good to take care of yourself and put a little effort into how you looked. You chose a pair of jeans that fit just right, a black top, and your favorite leather jacket. Casual but confident. A swipe of red lipstick added a touch of boldness.

You didn’t know where the night would take you, but you felt ready.

Cillian arrived right on time, his car rolling up the gravel drive just as you slipped on your jacket. When you stepped outside, he was already out of the car, leaning casually against the door. He smiled when he saw you—a warm, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“Ready?” he asked, his eyes flicking over your outfit with an appreciative glance.

“As I’ll ever be,” you replied, a hint of nerves bubbling up but quickly pushed aside.

The drive to the pub was easy, the conversation flowing effortlessly. You talked about your day, the town, the little things you’d picked up. He told you about his new movie coming out later this year, based on a novella set in the mid-1980s in a small Irish village. There was a comfort in the exchange, in the way your words mingled with the sound of the tires on the road.

When he pulled up outside the pub, you couldn’t help but grin at the sight. It was a small, unassuming place, the kind of spot that felt like a well-kept secret. The sign above the door was weathered, the windows glowing warmly from the inside. It looked cozy, inviting.

“Do I need to bring out my disguise?” you asked, amused, as you glanced at him.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, you’re safe here. No one’s going to bother us. I’ve been coming here for years. They don't give a shit about me.”

He was right. The pub was perfect—dimly lit, with a mix of old and new music playing in the background. The crowd was relaxed, more interested in their conversations than in who might be sitting at the next table. You found two empty stools at the bar and settled in.

Close to the drinks. Perfect.

You ordered beers—the kind that tasted awful but somehow fit the atmosphere. Cillian took a sip of his beer, and the reaction was immediate. He groaned, his head falling back as if in defeat, eyes closed as he savored—or perhaps endured—the taste. The dim light from the pub’s old-fashioned fixtures cast a warm glow on his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that had begun to form. His lips, still wet from the beer, parted in a wry smile that spoke volumes of his disdain for the drink. His brow furrowed slightly as he kept his eyes closed, letting out a deep, exaggerated sigh as if the beer was the worst thing he’d ever tasted.

It was a dramatic performance, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how absurdly handsome he looked even in that moment. There was something endearing about it—the way he could make something so ordinary seem so intense. His dark hair, slightly tousled, fell over his forehead, and you found yourself staring longer than you meant to.

“Bloody hell, that’s awful,” he muttered, finally opening his eyes and giving you a side glance. His blue eyes sparkled with trouble, the corners crinkling as he caught the expression on your face. “You should’ve seen yourself, though. Looked like you were trying to swallow glass.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to stop the smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, please. You looked like you were about to keel over from one sip,” you shot back, sarcasm lacing your voice.

He chuckled, the sound low and rich, and the amusement in his eyes deepened. “Can’t argue with that,” he admitted, taking another sip with a grimace. “Piss beer, this is. I’d almost prefer water.”

“Almost,” you teased, lifting your glass to take another drink. The foam clung to the rim as you sipped, and you made a point to keep your expression neutral, though you could feel the bitterness spreading across your tongue.

Cillian leaned in a bit closer, his Irish accent growing thicker with each drink. “But then, what would we have to complain about, eh? I think the shite beer is half the charm of this place.” His voice was smoother, more relaxed, and you noticed the way his words seemed to roll off his tongue, rich with the lilting cadence of his heritage. It was endearing, undeniably so, and you found it increasingly hard to focus on anything else.

“Is that what they call charm here? I must’ve missed the memo,” you quipped, smirking as you met his gaze. The clever back-and-forth felt natural, easy, and it warmed you more than the alcohol ever could.

“You’re lucky I’m here to explain it to ya,” he said, leaning in just a bit more, his voice dropping to a playful murmur. “Otherwise, you might’ve gone your whole life without knowing the joys of terrible Irish beer.”

“Oh, I’m so grateful,” you shot back, sarcasm dripping from your words, but your smile gave you away. “I’ll add it to the list of things you’ve taught me.”

He grinned, clearly enjoying the banter, and you noticed how close he had gotten. His arm was now resting casually on the back of your seat, and every so often, your knees would brush, those accidental touches sending a small, electric thrill through you. The pub’s atmosphere, once filled with distant conversations and the clinking of glasses, now seemed to narrow down to just the two of you. The world outside the booth blurred away, and all that was left was Cillian’s presence, the sound of his voice, and the faint, intoxicating scent of him that mixed with the pub’s woody, earthy aroma.

The more you drank, the closer you both seemed to get, each sip loosening the barriers that had been in place. His laughter grew louder, more infectious, and his accent, more pronounced with every word, sent a shiver down your spine. It was more than just the alcohol—there was an ease between you that you hadn’t felt before, a sense of connection that went beyond the usual playful exchanges.

“Y’know,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he leaned in even closer. “I think I’m starting to like this beer.”

You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into a smirk, feeling a little more brave. “Is that so? Or is it just the company?”

He chuckled, his breath warm against your ear as he replied, “Maybe a bit of both.”

A familiar flutter stirred in your chest—the undeniable pull that you’d been trying to ignore for days. But tonight, in this pub, with its terrible beer and terrible lighting, you decided you didn’t want to fight it anymore. Not here, not with him.

You moved on to something stronger, whiskey that burned going down but left a warmth spreading through your chest that felt as intoxicating as the alcohol itself. With each sip, the edges of your nerves smoothed out, and you felt looser, braver, and a little sexier. You sat on the bar stool with your body angled slightly toward Cillian. The leather of your jacket creaked as you shifted, the red of your lipstick standing out against the dim light. You felt his gaze on you, not just looking, but really seeing you, his eyes tracing the curve of your neck down to where your top dipped, lingering just a moment longer than usual.

His look was hungry, but it wasn’t just that—it was curious, intrigued. He rested his elbow on the bar, leaning closer, his knee brushing against yours as he picked up his glass, watching you over the rim as he took a sip. The whiskey seemed to bring out the blue in his eyes, making them sharp and piercing, but there was softness there too, an openness that had grown.

“You know,” you began, a small, knowing smile playing on your lips. “I was just thinking about the first time we met.”

His eyebrow arched in curiosity, and he leaned in a little closer, his interest piqued. “Oh yeah? That was… what, 7 years ago? At the Globes, wasn’t it?”

You nodded, taking another sip of your drink, the liquid courage giving you the confidence to broach the subject. “Yeah, that’s right. And you… well, let’s just say you weren’t exactly my biggest fan.”

Cillian looked taken aback, a surprised smile curving his lips. “What? I don’t remember it like that.”

“Oh, come on, Cill,” you said, playfully nudging his shoulder. “You kind of hated me."

He laughed, shaking his head. “I didn’t hate you. I just… I guess I had some preconceived notions about you."

“Preconceived notions?” you asked, a teasing glint in your eyes.

He hesitated, looking almost sheepish as he ran a hand through his hair. “Honestly? I thought you were this… I don’t know, shallow, self-absorbed person. Just someone who was there for the attention, you know?”

You let out a mock gasp, placing a hand over your heart in faux offense. “I’m wounded! I can’t believe you thought that about me, really.”

He chuckled, but there was a hint of regret in his voice as he added, “But I was wrong. I figured that out pretty quickly.”

“Oh, really?” you asked, leaning in a little closer, your voice dropping to a flirtatious whisper. “When exactly did you figure that out?”

“The first time we really talked,” he said, his voice equally soft, the words carrying a weight they hadn’t before. “After I saw you in the hall, crying. I don't know. You were so real, and I realized you weren’t what I thought. Not even close.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Wow, so I had to have a full-on breakdown just to convince you I wasn’t a shallow, self-absorbed diva? Good to know, Cill. I’ll make sure to cry more often around you.”

He laughed, bringing his fingertips to his lips, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Not quite what I meant, but I guess it did the trick, didn’t it?”

You remembered that night vividly, how everything had seemed to spiral downward so quickly. “I was having the worst night,” you said laughing, a slight bitterness creeping into your tone as the memories resurfaced. “I’d just been dumped by the world’s biggest asshole that morning, and then there you were, tearing down everything I said with some esoteric joke.”

Cillian winced slightly, the regret more pronounced now. “Yeah… I wasn’t exactly charming, was I?”

“You were a bit of a jerk,” you admitted, but there was no malice in your words. “But you made up for it with that burger offer.”

A grin spread across his face as he remembered. “I wasn’t sure you’d say yes.”

“Well, I figured a burger with you was better than sulking alone,” you replied, smiling at the memory. “And it was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was exactly what I needed.”

His expression softened. “I’m glad I asked, then.”

The bartender interrupted your conversation to ask if you wanted another round, and without a second thought, you both nodded in agreement. It seemed neither of you were ready to call it a night. The place was warmer now. As you waited for your drinks, your eyes drifted to the ceiling. Neil Young's "Harvest Moon" played softly in the background, the gentle melody weaving through the low murmur of conversation.

You glanced over your shoulder and noticed that a few couples had begun to dance, swaying gently to the music. There was something so natural, so easy about it, that you couldn’t resist the urge that bubbled up inside you. Turning back to Cillian, who was taking a sip of his drink, you couldn’t help but smile. “Come on,” you said, nudging him playfully with your elbow. “Dance with me.”

Cillian raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and skepticism. He muttered something in reply but you couldn’t quite make it out. It only made you more determined.

“I didn’t catch that,” you teased, leaning in closer as if trying to decipher his words. “But I know what you’re going to say.”

“Oh, do you, piano woman?” he shot back, his tone light but with a challenging edge.

“Yes,” you said, grinning. “You’re going to say that you don’t dance.”

Cillian chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “You’re right about that. I don’t.”

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a low, persuasive tone. “I know, but you’ll indulge me anyway.”

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if weighing his options. Then, with a small, resigned sigh, he downed the rest of his drink in one go and set the glass back on the bar with a decisive thud. Before you could react, he grabbed your hand and stood up, pulling you along with him.

It caught you by surprise, the suddenness of it, especially considering he had just insisted he wasn’t the dancing type. As he led you toward the makeshift dance floor, he leaned in and said with a grin, “You’re lucky I like you.”

You laughed, a loud, genuine sound that felt as freeing as the night itself. “Oh, am I now?”

He smirked, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yeah, because otherwise, there’s no way I’d be making a fool of myself like this.”

You shot back with a playful, “Well, let’s see just how much of a fool you really are, then.”

As you reached the space where others were already swaying to the music, Cillian took your hand and pulled you in close. You could feel the warmth of his body, the solidity of his frame as he moved with you, the two of you finding a rhythm that was surprisingly in sync. It wasn’t anything fancy—just simple, slow movements to match the easy tempo of the song—but it felt intimate, like you were the only two people in the room.

Cillian leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “Did you know I'm a failed musician?”

You couldn’t help but smirk, the alcohol loosening your tongue.

“Failed, huh? So, what happened? Couldn’t hack it with the rest of us rockstars?”

He chuckled, the sound deep and rich, sending a shiver down your spine. "Something like that. I was in a band, actually."

You leaned back slightly, raising an eyebrow in mock disbelief. “You? In a band? Color me shocked.”

It was kind of hot, imagining him on stage with a guitar in hand.

"We even had a record deal and everything."

"What happened?"

Cillian’s expression softened as he spoke, his voice carrying the weight of nostalgia. “My brother was still in school at the time, and my parents basically told me I could fuck up my life if I wanted, but I couldn’t take him down with me. So, it fell through.”

As you continued to sway together, the story of his past unraveled between you, each word carrying a hint of regret mixed with fond memories. “Those were great times, though,” he continued, his eyes distant as if he were seeing it all again. “I’d be out late, drinking, playing music in small pubs, thinking we were going to make it big. It was a bit of a rush, you know?”

You could imagine him there, young and reckless, with that same intensity in his eyes that he carried now, but wilder, untamed by the years. “So music was your first love, then?” you asked, your voice soft, genuinely curious.

He nodded, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I suppose it was. I had been playing instruments since I was little. There’s something about it that just… gets into your blood. But then, acting came along."

“When exactly did you know that's what you wanted?” you asked, wanting to peel back more layers of him.

His smile turned almost bashful, as if recalling a secret he hadn’t shared in a while. “There was this guy who ran the Cork theater company—had a huge man crush on him. He was brilliant, and I ended up doing a workshop with him. After that, I just pestered him for an audition until he gave in.”

You chuckled softly at the thought of a young Cillian, determined and probably a bit of a nuisance, chasing after something he wanted so badly. “And that was it?”

“Well, there was a drama module in school when I was about 16, 17—during the transition year. That’s when I first got the bug. Ended up starring in A Clockwork Orange. It was sexy, dangerous, unlike anything I’d ever seen. I loved playing someone else, losing myself in the character.”

He paused, then flashed a self-deprecating grin. “There’s not much to look at, but if you give me a minute…"

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his modesty. “You’re selling yourself short,” you teased, leaning in closer, your bodies moving in sync to the music. "Cill, you literally have an Oscar."

“Ah, the Oscar... just a glorified doorstop, really,” he quipped, his tone light but with that familiar undercurrent of humility.

"It's the work that matters, blah blah blah," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully. His eyes were crinkling at the corners with genuine amusement. "Exactly," he agreed, before pulling you into a twirl.

"Do you miss it? you ask, hands circling his neck as you sway. "Music, I mean."

Cillian blew out a slow breath, his eyes growing thoughtful as he considered your question. “Sometimes,” he admitted. "But life has a way of taking you where you need to be, not where you want to be.”

His words settled over you like a blanket, warm and heavy, as you mulled them over. Is this where I need to be? The question echoed in your mind, reverberating through the deeper corners of your thoughts. You weren’t sure you had an answer. You were a successful artist, living the dream so many could only imagine, but there was always that lingering sense of something missing, a quiet ache that you couldn’t quite place.

Where do I need to be?

The thought spiraled, unfurling like an endless thread, pulling at the edges of your consciousness. You started questioning everything—your choices, your path, the very essence of who you were. Those words seemed to tap into something deep inside, a reservoir of doubts and desires that you hadn’t fully acknowledged until now.

“Yeah,” you replied softly, almost like you were talking to yourself more than to him.

You rested your head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you, swaying slowly. See, this is the thing about Cillian, he had a way of making you feel seen and understood, even when you didn't fully understand yourself, even without saying a single word.

The warmth of Cillian's arm around you, the subtle way he moved—it all felt so natural, like this was where you were supposed to be. But then, the memory of four nights ago crept in—the way his breath had hitched as you said you weren't going to stop him from going further, the tension that crackled between you both like a live wire.

The room suddenly felt too small, too warm. Heat flushed through your body, a dizzying sensation that made it hard to focus on anything other than the way he was looking at you. A knot formed in your throat, and you swallowed hard, trying to steady your racing pulse.

The memory was like a current running through you, making you hyper-aware of every point of contact with him. The room suddenly felt too small, too warm. Your mind was swirling with thoughts, the alcohol making you bolder, more aware of the things left unsaid.

"I can't stop thinking about what almost happened the other day."

“What almost happened?”

He let out a low, almost inaudible chuckle, his lips dangerously nuzzled in your hair. “Don’t play coy with me, love. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the heat pooling in your stomach, the way your body reacted to his nearness. “I’ve tried to stop thinking about it,” he continued, his voice a hushed murmur that only you could hear, “but I can’t.”

His words hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken desire. You wanted to let go of the restraint you’d been holding onto all night, but you were still aware of where you were, of the people around you—even if they weren’t paying you any attention. The thought of crossing that line, right here in the middle of the pub, was both thrilling and terrifying.

But Cillian, sensing your hesitation, didn’t push.

Finally, he pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, his expression serious but laced with that familiar smirk. “Wanna head out of here?” he asked, his voice low but with a note of urgency.

You didn’t need to think twice. “Yes,” you breathed, the word escaping your lips before you could stop it.

The night air hit you like a shock to the system as you stepped outside, the cool breeze carrying with it the faint scent of rain. The streets were quieter now, the lively noise of the pub fading into the background. You were drunk, the world tilting slightly with each step, and neither of you could drive.

Cillian pulled out his phone, his fingers deftly dialing the number for a cab. You watched him as he made the call, the way his jaw tensed slightly as he spoke, his voice low and calm despite the alcohol humming through his veins. There was something undeniably attractive about the way he carried himself, even in this moment of mundane practicality.

“What about your car?” you asked, your words slightly slurred but still coherent.

He glanced over at you, a small, reassuring smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’ll pick it up in the morning,” he replied smoothly, his accent curling around the words in that familiar, endearing way. “Don’t worry, love.”

The cab arrived not long after, the headlights cutting through the night as it pulled up to the curb. Cillian opened the door for you, and the two of you slid into the backseat, sitting close together but not touching. Not yet. The space between you crackled with unspoken tension, the thrill of anticipation hanging heavy in the air.

You found yourself playing with your ring-clad fingers, the cool metal a small distraction as the silence stretched out between you. The driver turned up the music a bit, and the opening chords of Inhaler’s "Dublin in Ecstasy" filled the car. The song was somehow fitting, its pulsing beat and haunting lyrics adding to the electric atmosphere.

It started to rain, the droplets tapping against the windows and turning them foggy, adding a sense of intimacy to the small, enclosed space. The outside world became a blur of lights and shadows, the city fading away as the cab sped through the streets. You could feel Cillian’s gaze on you, the weight of it almost tangible as you sat there, both of you lost in your own thoughts.

You turned to look at him, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. The music became more intoxicating, the beat syncing with the rapid thudding of your heart. He noticed you bopping your head slightly to the rhythm, and a small, surprised smile crossed his face.

“You know this?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity.

You smirked, leaning back against the seat as you replied with playful confidence, “I know every song ever made, actually.”

He chuckled, a low, rich sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “Is that so? A human jukebox, then?”

“Something like that,” you teased, the conversation light but charged with something more, something neither of you could ignore any longer.

The cab’s interior felt smaller, more suffocating as you neared your destination. When you finally arrived at his place, Cillian paid the driver, and the two of you got out, raising your jackets over your heads to shield from the rain, which had grown heavier. You both ran to the entrance, your footsteps echoing in the quiet night as you giggled like teenagers, the spontaneity of it all making you feel light, carefree.

He fumbled with his keys for a moment, the sound of metal clinking against metal filling the air before he managed to unlock the door. You stepped inside, the warmth of the house a stark contrast to the chill of the rain outside. The living room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the faint glow of the night sky through the large windows. The shadows played across the walls, casting everything in a soft, almost ethereal light.

You tossed off your jacket, letting it fall to the floor, your clothes clinging to your skin from the rain. You could feel the fabric sticking to your body, the dampness making you shiver slightly, but the heat in the room—and the heat between the two of you—kept you from feeling cold. Cillian wandered off somewhere for a moment, leaving you standing there, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited, the anticipation almost unbearable.

When he returned, his eyes locked onto yours, a predatory glint in his gaze that made your breath hitch. He took a step closer, the distance between you shrinking to almost nothing as he asked, his voice low and laced with a hint of something dangerous, “What should we do now?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with suggestion, and you felt a rush of heat flood through you, your pulse quickening. You moved toward him, your steps slow and deliberate, closing the gap until you were inches away. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you murmured, your voice trembling slightly despite the bravado in your words.

His hand reached up, fingers brushing against your cheek before trailing down to remove a stray piece of hair stuck to your face. His touch was light, almost reverent, but it sent sparks of electricity through your skin, making you feel like you were on fire. His hand continued its path down your arm, and you followed it with your eyes, watching as his fingers traced the outline of your veins, the simple action making your breath catch in your throat.

He moved his hand up to your shoulder, his fingers ghosting over the strap of your top before slowly sliding it down, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Your skin burned under his touch, a mix of desire and something else—something that felt like shame, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It felt too good, too right.

His hand slid up to your neck, his grip firm but not painful as he held you there, your breathing coming in short, ragged gasps. You clung to his black t-shirt, your fingers digging into the fabric as you tried to steady yourself, but the room seemed to spin around you, the intensity of the moment making you dizzy.

Cillian’s eyes bore into yours, his expression dark and filled with an unspoken promise as he whispered, his voice rough and filled with desire, “Tell me what you want.”

You wanted him—every part of him. You wanted to forget everything else, to lose yourself in this moment, to give in to the desire that had been simmering between you for days. And as his grip tightened slightly on your neck, pulling you closer until your lips were just a breath away from his, you knew there was no turning back.

"Kiss me," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

So he did. He kissed you, long and slow. His lips were soft yet urgent, and you melted into his touch. Your hands found their way to his damp hair, tangling in the strands as you deepened the kiss, savoring every moment. His breath mingled with yours, warm and laced with the faint taste of whiskey, his hands still cradling your face as if you were something fragile, something to be cherished.

But then the kiss deepened, the restraint unraveling as the need between you grew too powerful to contain. His hands slid from your face down to your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between your bodies. The kiss became more urgent, more demanding, as if he was trying to consume you, to lose himself in you. You responded in kind, your own hands gripping his t-shirt, pulling him closer, wanting more—needing more. The heat between you intensified, the tenderness giving way to something hotter, something that felt like it had been a long time coming.

The rain continued to patter softly against the windows, a distant sound that seemed to fade into the background as your focus narrowed to just him—to the way his hands gripped your waist, to the way his breath hitched when you bit down softly on his lower lip.

You started moving backward, the need to feel him against you overwhelming any thought of where this might be going. Your feet stumbled slightly as you both moved toward the couch, the dim light from the windows casting your entwined shadows across the floor. He guided you, his hands firm and sure, but there was a tenderness in the way he led you, as if he was still holding back, still trying to keep a grasp on the control that was slipping away.

You reached the edge of the couch, and he paused for a moment, his gaze intense as he looked at you, his chest heaving with the effort to catch his breath. “You're in control here,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, thick with the weight of the question, with the possibility of what was about to happen. "We stop whenever you want to, okay?"

Ever so polite, you thought. You answered him by pulling him down with you, your lips finding his again with a renewed urgency. The cushions gave way beneath you, the soft fabric enveloping you both as you sank into it. His body pressed against yours, the weight of him grounding you.

As the kiss deepened, became more frantic, more desperate, you could feel the tension in him—the barely restrained control he was struggling to maintain. His hands roamed over your body, landing on your jeans and slowly playing with the button, a silent request for permission.

"Don't stop now," you teased, your voice barely audible against his lips. He responded by deepening the kiss even further, his hands moving with purpose as he unbuttoned your jeans. He stopped for a moment, lowering himself to his knees in front of you, his hands taking off your shoes before sliding your jeans down your legs. He positioned himself between your legs once again, kissing you rough this time.

The couch was vast and soft underneath you as one of his hands traveled up your thigh—still not as high as you wanted it. You let out a needy moan, encouraging him. When his fingers brushed against the edge of your already wet panties, you couldn't help but arch your back in anticipation. He pushed them aside, his eyes never leaving yours. When his fingertips made contact with the wetness of your folds, he groaned too, in a way you found very satisfying.

"I've thought about this…a lot," he murmured, slipping a finger inside you, making you gasp with pleasure. "What you might sound like. What you might taste like. What you might feel like."

He pulled away from you swiftly, and you moaned at the loss. He kneeled down in front of you, his gaze intense as he leaned in to kiss your inner thigh, sending shivers down your spine. He pulled down your panties. You went stiff, suddenly aware of how exposed you were. He opened your thighs a little more, as if he wanted to see more. "I want to make you feel good," he whispered. "Let me taste you."

"Yes," you breathed out.

You couldn't stop looking at him as he pleasured you, his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body. Each flick of his tongue and gentle bite made you arch your back in ecstasy, completely lost in the moment. His hands tightened around your thighs, pulling you closer to his face. He groaned in pleasure, and you opened your thighs wider. His tongue was thorough and deliberate, exploring every inch of you with precision. Your hands grabbed the couch cushions, trying to ground yourself as you felt yourself spiraling into pure bliss. And just when you started to roll your hips, he slid two fingers inside you, hitting that perfect spot that made you gasp and moan uncontrollably.

It was too much. Pleasure consumed you as you arched your back violently against his touch and you moaned his name over and over again, letting go. You were drunk on him— his touch, his mouth, his scent—lost in the euphoria of the moment.

"Fuckin' incredible."

Well, yes, fucking incredible indeed. But not as incredible as it would feel to have him inside you completely, filling every inch of you. To reduce him to the whimpering mess he had just turned you into.

Before Cillian could do anything, you sat up and pushed him flat to the floor. You were both drunk and too eager to make it to the bedroom, so you might as well just do it right there on the living room rug.

He grunted in surprise, but his hands quickly found their way to your hips as you straddled him, pulling you closer. You removed your top, your breasts spilling out as you leaned down to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. His fingers gently tangle in your hair as you pull away from his mouth, pulling his black t-shirt over his head and tossing it aside.

He stopped breathing as you worked your way down his chest, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles until you reached the waistband of his jeans. Your hands made quick work of the button and zipper, and you eagerly slid them down his legs, revealing his growing arousal.

When your fingers wrapped around it—fuck—his skin felt hot and smooth against your touch, his breath hitching. You positioned yourself to take him in your mouth, savoring the taste of his desire as you licked a slow, teasing path along his cock. Cillian let out a ragged moan, his hands tangling in your hair.

You lifted your eyes. He had propped himself up on his elbows, watching you with his lips parted, pupils blown.

You had him.

You took him deeper, relishing the way he arched into your mouth, his groans spurring you on. With each flick of your tongue, you could feel him losing control, surrendering to the pleasure you were giving him. "Fuck, stop," he gasped, his voice strained with need. "I need to be inside you."

“Condom?” you asked, the question hanging in the thick air between you.

“Upstairs,” he said, his voice rough, almost pleading.

You hesitated for just a second. “I don’t mind… if you don’t.”

For a moment, he froze, his blue eyes darkening as they searched yours, as if to make sure he’d heard you right. Then, with a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, he nodded.

You released him with a smirk and sat up, swung over him. You positioned yourself so that his hands were on your hips, guiding you down onto him. The anticipation was electric, every nerve in your body alive with the need to be closer to him, to feel him, completely and without anything between you.

As you sank onto him, his eyes rolled back in ecstasy, a low moan escaping from both of you. The feeling of being filled by him sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a fire between you that burned hotter with each thrust. Your hands clutched at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as you matched his rhythm, lost in the intensity of the moment.

This was going to end you.

His movements became more urgent, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered your name. The room was filled with the sound of your mingled gasps and moans, a symphony of pleasure that seemed to echo off the walls. He felt so good, so right. His thrusts became more deep and harsh—you wanted even more. As if he read your mind, he sat up against the couch and kissed you deeply, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

"Bloody hell," he murmured against your lips, both his hands grabbed your face as he looked deeply into your eyes, and you circled your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and circling your hips in rhythm with his. Your breasts pressed against his chest, the heat between you both rising as your bodies moved in perfect synchronization. He was close—you were close. His hands roamed your back, your ass, and your breasts, and you threw your head back when his mouth found its way to your nipples.

"Oh fuck," you gasped, "Yes, oh���" you screamed as white-hot pleasure shot through your body, causing you both to reach the peak of ecstasy together. You felt his cock swell, filling you completely as he released with a guttural groan.

The intensity of the moment left you both breathless, bodies entwined in a tangled mess of limbs and sweat. He had leaned back to the floor, and you had gone with him. He was rubbing your back, and your face was pressed to his chest.

"You okay, love?" he asked softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your skin. You hummed, feeling content and safe in his arms, basking in the afterglow of your shared pleasure.

You stayed like that for a moment, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath you, the quiet rhythm of his breathing syncing with yours. His fingers kept tracing those gentle patterns on your back, grounding you, reminding you that you were still here, still connected. The afterglow wrapped around you both, a warmth that made you feel safe, cherished. You could still feel him inside you.

“How bad would it be if we just stayed here?” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking louder might shatter the moment. There was a part of you that didn’t want to move, didn’t want to break the spell.

He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest, and you could feel the rumble against your cheek. “Well, love,” he said, his voice laced with amusement, “I’m not sure how comfortable the floor will be in about twenty minutes, but I’d say it’s worth a try if you are.”

You laughed, the sound light and free. “Fair point,” you conceded, shifting slightly to look up at him. His eyes were warm, a little teasing, but there was an underlying tenderness that made your heart skip a beat.

“Come on,” he said gently, his hands sliding down your sides as he carefully helped you up. “Let’s get cleaned up. I promise the bed is much more inviting.”

He rose to his feet, extending a hand to help you up. You accepted, your legs feeling a little shaky as you stood, still a bit lightheaded from everything that had just happened. His hands lingered on your hips, steadying you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the care in his touch.

Together, you made your way upstairs, his arm draped around your shoulders as he guided you toward his bedroom. The space was warm, cozy, with a lived-in feel that made it undeniably his. The bed was unmade, sheets rumpled, as if he’d just gotten out of it before coming to find you.

He led you to the bathroom, where the soft glow of a single light illuminated the space. He turned on the shower, testing the water temperature before gesturing for you to step inside. You did, letting the hot water cascade over you, washing away the remnants of the night, though the memory of it clung to your skin. He joined you a moment later, his hands gentle as he helped you rinse off, his touch tender, almost reverent. You stood under the water together, letting the steam envelope you both.

When you were both clean, he handed you a towel, wrapping another around his waist. He left the bathroom for a moment and returned with a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, offering them to you.

“Here,” he said with a soft smile. “This will do.”

You took the clothes, slipping them on. The fabric was soft, worn in, and it smelled like him—woodsy, with a hint of something earthy and warm. You found yourself breathing it in, the scent comforting in a way you hadn’t expected.

When you were both dressed, he led you to the bed, pulling back the covers and slipping in beside you. He held the blanket up for you, and you slid in next to him, the cool sheets a welcome contrast to the warmth of his body. He immediately pulled you close, his arm wrapping around your waist as you nestled into his side, your head resting on his chest once more.

The room was dark, but the faint light from outside filtered in through the curtains, casting soft shadows across the walls. You could hear the rain still pattering against the window, a soothing backdrop to the quiet intimacy between you. His hand found yours under the covers, fingers intertwining as he held you close, his breath warm against your forehead. You could feel his heartbeat under your palm, steady and reassuring, and it lulled you into a state of deep relaxation.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but you knew he heard you. You don't know for what exactly you were thanking him, but it felt like the right thing to say in that moment.

He responded with a gentle squeeze of your hand, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your hair.

You didn’t need to say anything more. The silence between you was comfortable, filled with unspoken understanding. You both knew that tonight had changed something between you, something profound and unnameable, but for now, it was enough to just be here, together.

a/n: there you have it, i hope you guys liked it!! please like, reblog and comment. i wanna hear your thoughts! and as always, thank you for the support <3

[kibblbread]

TRANSFORMERS ONE BLURB — OPTIMUS PRIME X MEGATRON

Based off my tf one alt clock fic! You don’t have to go back and read the other post but it will give some insight to how I envision how they got to this point.

This is a decent time jump btw from current events and closer to the time of where my fanfic takes place tho. Also excuse the writing, the last fic i wrote for the transformers fandom was when i was 14… im in my early twenties 😭

ty for reading and support the official release, i want a sequel pls

🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Optimus looked up at Megatron with half lidded eyes. He was deciding whether or not to wake the sleeping titan of a bot. It’s been awhile since they’d gotten any alone time since the recent quintesson strike.

The dust was finally beginning to settle though.

High-Guard has always been more than effective with ridding Cybertron of hostile forces since Sentinels fall. With Megatron earning back the trust of not only the citizens, but Optimus’ as well, he was able to easily climb rank to first lieutenant of the Cybertronian Defense Corps and become official commanding officer of High-Guard. Megatron is a protector, and has been actively putting the safety of homeworld before his needs.. even if it means grinding his gears down to scrap.

Optimus was tired, yes. He fights against quintessons and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty just like his friends and colleagues, but, there’s no doubt that most of a Primes work is done in accordance to his people’s needs. And right now that need is diplomacy, organizing society, & supervising the rebirth of a nation. Ultimately, Prime’s job is mostly relegated to delegation as of now.

Megatron however, doesn’t have the luxury of talking things out. He’s not just tired, he’s completely exhausted. Constantly having to fight on the frontline and keep the enemy at bay was wearing on him in a way that was downright worrisome. The guy has never been good at hiding his feelings either, sincerity is just his nature. Don’t get it twisted though, Megatron’s essence is that of a warrior, a gladiator. It’s what’s kept him alive to outmatch all his opponents again and again, but also what makes his lover so anxious.

Optimus pressed his palm to the center of Megatron’s chassis.

The young Prime took a moment to think a second longer, ‘I shouldn’t be selfish.’ He let his hand fall gently from Megatron’s chest.

“You don’t wanna tell me about your day?”

Optimus snapped his head up to met Megatron’s heavily lidded bright red eyes. “You- …Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to-“

“No, I was-” Megatron yawned between words “I was waiting for you.” A tired smile appeared on his face, it was playful looking as his eyes were still squinted into happy beams of red.

Optimus gave a subtle breathy chuckle “In your stasis chamber?” His arms crossed over his chest.

“Uhhhm, well clearly- I uh..”

Optimus raised a brow knowingly.

“Yeah I fell asleep. You caught me, Prime.” Megatron stepped out of his pod and Optimus naturally backed away just enough to make room for his larger frame.

Ever since taking on an aircraft transformation, Megatron looks down at him. It was initially a weird adjustment, but a welcomed one all the same. Optimus allowed himself to be enveloped by large limbs, and embraced gently.

“I missed you.” Megatron kissed the top of his lovers helm “Like, a lot actually, I feel like we never see each other anymore… It’s not fair.”

Optimus stayed quiet. Keeping his head tucked under Megatron’s chin, he loved listening to him. From complaining, to nonsensical ramblings, nearly any and everything over time became more and more melodic. Shifting the weight of them both, Megatron leaned against the doors of his stasis chamber while continuing to hold Optimus.

“I wish we could just have a day, just one day alone together.” This time Optimus yawned, “Oh sorry, is my yearning for your undivided attention boring you?” Megatron asked sarcastically.

Optimus half chuckled and half hummed to himself as he rubbed an eye. “Don’t be such a glitch, Mega, besides you fell asleep first.” The bot negged playfully.

“Tch, you’re the glitch.” Megatron subtly opened his stasis pod again and pulled Optimus in alongside himself. “And now you’re trapped.” The silver bot smirked to himself.

“Trapped definitely insinuates this isn’t something I enjoy… I’m immensely enjoying this by the way.”

“Uh huh.” Megatron rolled his red optics. They were dimmed as he began feeling the effects of the pod working.

They both started to doze off.

Optimus however, after a couple of moments opened his eyes just enough to gauge where Megaton’s hand was. He grabbed it without second thought right as he felt his free hand being caressed.

Optimus smiled to himself and rested his against the top of Megaton’s chest as they intertwined their fingers.

“Yeah, I missed you too.”

[klutzymaiden123]

HII, ok so I finished reading the current chapters of the fanfic and I've got to say, IM IN LOVE. The way you portray Helga's character is amazing like that's exactly the image of her than I had in my head. Of course, I love all the characters but Helga stands out to me the most because of this guilt complex she has and the complexity of her character (idk if that makes sense but I hope it does). I wanted to know if you were including a snippet of Arnold's POV in the chapter(s) your currently working on and I also wanted to know if you were planning on releasing chapter 31 when it's done or releasing it when you already have a clear thought of what chapter 32-35 (guesstimate) are gonna include/look like

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I enjoy writing this story so much and Helga is such a fun and intriguing character to write! Most of the girls are, but Helga is the most challenging and rewarding for me to write, since she's canonically already such a complex character!

And totally, of course! Arnold's POV originally wasn't even apart of the drafts. Their encounter in 28 was supposed to be a lot different, but when I was actually writing it, things spurred out of control. So for Chapter 31, I decided to throw in a scene from his perspective, because even I was like, "What's going on with this kid?" It's definitely my favourite scene in the chapter so don't worry, his POV is still apart of the re-drafts. And the Shortaki will be cranking up from now on!

Chapter 31 will be released when I have finished writing Chapter 32. It's taken so long just because it's quite an intense and emotionally driven chapter. I've had it planned from the start and like Chapter 30, I want to get it exactly right. Good news, I'm already on my third re-write for 32, so even if I go back for a fourth re-write (as I did for 30), 31 will be posted before then! 32-35 have been re-organised and to an extent, they still are, but they're falling really well into place because the inspiration that hit me was HAWT.

But thank you so much for your kindness and your comment! I am happy that you're enjoying this as much as I am! Annnnnd normally, I don't squeeze in snippets into asks, but because this chapter has taken awhile and you guys have been so patient, I'm sharing a portion of Arnold's section in the next chapter. Enjoy!

Years ago, when Helga had walked away from him, Arnold thought that there would only ever be ashes between them. That between them stood a barren wasteland. But she had come back and turned everything back around.

He realised how nonsensical that sounded; she had walked away and yet somehow, he had become lost. It was like she had turned the light out. Or led him deep into a maze then sealed it shut as she abandoned him. There had been a loss carved into his chest and he knew that if he tugged hard enough, it would all lead back to her. The guilt. Maybe it had been his fault; maybe it had always been his fault. It was his words that had caused her to pull back until she was with the shadows. He wanted another go so he could make things right.

He had spent years wondering what would happen if there had been a second chance. Did he want something to happen? What was he supposed to say—sorry that I hurt you? Would that ever be enough? He had searched for words that could match his feelings, but he had never found them. He still hadn’t gotten it right because Helga had always been different from everyone that he ever knew.

So when she turned to repeat what had happened between them years ago, he had acted without thinking. He wrapped his hands around her and pulled her back until she was at his side.

And it was weird. He was touching her and yet, it was her touch that sent sparks shooting across his skin. His heart had been in his throat and he suddenly found it hard to talk. And maybe over the years, he had begun to believe her. Maybe, for as much as he had preached that there was more to Helga Pataki, a part of him had also gotten swept up within her performance. Believed that she was hardened and nothing could affect her. But beneath his fingers, her cheeks had turned into rosebuds, and he remembered that she was nothing like the girl she pretended to be.

And when she had looked at him, something passed between them. Something had been passing between them for a while now. It filled him with that feeling. The feeling that he had only gotten when he was around her—something that welled in his chest and flushed him so warm that he couldn’t help smiling. It happened automatically and without permission. He couldn’t control it. He didn’t know when it had begun, only that it had been getting harder and harder to hold himself back from doing something stupid while in her presence.

It had been happening more and more frequently lately. When the lights became tangled in her hair. When her eyes would lift from the ground into his. When her fingers were wrapped around his arm. When she said his name. When she stood so close that he could smell her hair. Daffodils. He loved that smell. But what had changed? Had anything changed? There had been many times where he had looked at her and thought that she was pretty. Beautiful. And it made Arnold’s cheeks burn. His stomach would dance. But why? Where was all this coming from? And why was he checking his inbox again?

[vveirdnobdy]

20 questions !!! I was tagged by both @fanfiction-artist-prototype and @salaapaoo so here you go !!!

how many works do you have on ao3? Currently 6 works, technically have had 8 previously but i've deleted two of them. One will probably come back, but I want to rewrite and rework it before then.

what's your total ao3 word count? Currently 32,948

What fandoms do you write for? Actively I'm only writing for Trash of the Count's Family, previously I have written for BNHA but I've long sense left the fandom. I am working on a fic for Scum Villian Self Saving System right now, but thats going to be awhile before it gets released. In addittion! I also write my original works, none published yet but one day! perhaps.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Heya Eruberry, Presents, Baking Treats, Autumn Leaves/Warm Drinks, and then Your Beauty Coming in a Flood

Do you respond to comments? why/why not? Yes I do!! I make a point to try and respond to every comment, mostly because happy chemical go brrr, ofc I dont always respond because sometimes im just hmmm how to?

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Baking Treats, with Autumn Drinks a close second, both fics have an angstier and suspenseful endings, both were also intended to get even angstier follow ups that are just... not happening.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Your Beauty Coming in a Flood Defitnetly !! It's the ending that has gotten me kicking my feet the most. Though it is the first part in a series that have both many fluffy and angsty momments planned for, so it might not be the best to say ending for it. If not that defitnetly Presents, as that is very much my silly goofy lil crack fic.

Do you get hate on fics? Not Actively I have gotten comments in the past relating to disagreeing with ship choice, as well as awakward dialouge at times, but thats cause me and dialouge are of two minds, its silly goofy's or just a lil awakward at times, I think I am improving thought from then hopedully.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind? No... I do plan to... we will see how that ship goes, but as of this moment the most i've written is a kiss and I am heheuheuheuh over it, let along the smut i plan on writing later on dear lord.

Do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one? No I do think of them actively though, people who do KHR crossovers I love you keep doing that its so good its my favorite thing I love them. I do have an idea for TCF and KHR crossover, however the likelyhood of it being written anytime soon let alone at all is not looking good.

have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my awareness yet, if anyone finds one of my fics on something that isn't ao3 its def not me, ao3 is the only fic platform I use.

have you ever had a fic translated? No I have not, however if anyone ever approached me about it I 100% agree, my only request is that it's onn ao3

have you ever co-written a fic? Yes I have, its deleted now, but it was for a coffee shop BNHA au my friend created that I helped with

what's your all-time fave ship? Im very much a multi-shipper so I don't really have one thats like this this is the one, I am very much a shipper though, If I had to pick a favorite though, it would either be AlCale or Dazai and Chuuya from BSD, because im so insane over them I cant-

what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? A MDZS fic i have thats an AU centerlized on Meng Yao, I do plan to get back to it one day and write it out, as i genuinely really like the idea, but its not on my list of priorities.

what are your writing strengths? Idea's I'm very good at coming up with ideas and silly goofy moments, and overall I think im a good writer. Another thing is when I want to explore something let that be a character dynamic, or a specfic thought process, you bet your ass you can get an essay out of me over whatever I have concluded, and that will be reflected in my fic.

writing weaknesses? Dialouge is probably my weakness, its always where I find myself in a writers block. Partially i think its because i have a very silly way of thinking and talking, and my writing can reflect that, which makes writing more immature characters specfically harder for me if its not in a joke moment. It's defitnetly where I sturggle the most, however I do think I've been actively imporving in it, which I'm very happy over.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? Unless its a commonly used phrase, I would just put in italics and specify 'hey this is a different langauge' However things like nicknames, and phrases I'm relatively confident most people should know, I'd probably write out in the actual langauge.

first fandom you wrote for? It's been a very long time, but I wanna say Young Justice, and it was self inscert, I do know its somewhere on the internet, however I will not share, so good luck finding it!

fave fic you've ever written? Currently Your Beauty Coming in a Flood, I spent months on that bitch I'm genuinely so proud of how it turned out, and I'm really excited to continue the series. A close second is My King which I just posted the second chapter for, and will be working on the 3rd right after i finish this. Both I have a lot of ideas and plans for that I'm so excited to get to and share!

Now I'm ment to tag people, but the only mutuals I have that I'm aware also write fics are who tagged me, so if you see this and want do it, just say I tagged you I love to see! Have a lovely day <333

[crowhyun]

Hi crow!! Just saw ur replies and im really glad things are going well in ur life! Cant imagine the stress youd hv to go through in the medical field and premed 😵‍💫😵‍💫, mad respect for that. But i do hope youll be able to enjoy it! Hope everything goes smoothly!

Now... OMG SJSJSJKDKSKSNKDKEKKEKSES absolutely cannot wait for u to post AKAHAHHAJJSHSJAKHJDK i will be counting the seconds to tmr. I so glad i came back on tumblr just in time for this, cant imagine missing it. Its deffo been awhile since ive read ffs or anyt in general so im rly rly rly looking forward to it!

Also im rly rly happy to hear that u want to continue AI taehyun and that u hv ideas in ur mind for it. I do rly love angst so im looking forward to it even more!!! Ill be waiting patiently for u to post it and i will savour it sweetly when u do 😁😁

I like how u used the word fated in ur reply bc i rly do believe in fate most times. Theres j wayyy too many crazy things in life that happens "coincidentally" and its rly hard to believe sometimes. Like how??? Sometimes life does some crazy things that throws u off ur tracks but it ultimately shows u another path. So i like to call it fate. I rly love the idea of fate and destiny bc life is rly uncontrollable and unpredictable and sometimes only fate is the answer behind it.

Im glad that we're fated in some kind of way. It rly is fate. From discovering ur works, to creating a new acc and now getting back to being more active on tumblr again. There j isnt an answer behind how this could've happened. So i would just like to say, its fate.

Also sort of a tmi, but the reason i love the idea of fate so much is actually bc of an anime movie "your name" i loveddd this movie so so much and it sorta revolves around fate, and the red string of fate that kept the 2 main characters intertwined and connected. Dk if u rmb but txt once released a jpnese song called "Ito", which means string/ thread. It talks about how we'll always be connected by fate and we'll forever be intertwined. I loved it so so much because it made me think of that movie and it rly just felt like fate that txt, a grp i loved released a song that resonates with a movie i loved greatly. Also 0x1's jpnese mv used comets in it which plays a key role in "your name". Theres j so many things that just seems like fate.

Woah yapped alot here, but again rly looking forward to ur work! I hope ull be able to work on it freely and smoothly, that everything goes well and u enjoy the process of writing it and the end product! Rly rly happy to hear ull try to be more active again, and I'll definitely drop by more often knowing that! Also, i think its been awhile since uve had a new anon and i hv no idea if ure still taking them, but if u are, dym if i be ☄️ anon 🥹🥹. I think the comet means so so much to me and the fact that u brought up fate made me rly think it is fate that we're able to meet despite always being inactive. Another crazy long msg i hope u like them 🥹🥹🥹, but again lots of love 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

☄️ anon (if u dont mind :))

HIIIIII i'm so sorry for answering this late, I haven't been on tumblr bcs these last two weeks of the semester are kicking my ass and my anxiety has been skyrocketing :( though, I'm getting through it

and YES, I really believe in fate, too! Whether it be god, the universe, or something else, fate is one of the things I full heartedly believe in. I'm not exactly religious, but I am a bit spiritual, and I also do tarot readings. Tarot has a lot of mixed reactions and beliefs as a divination source, but I think that rather than there being a spirit talking to me through the cards, it's fate. I do a lot of readings for my mom, and even though I forget what the cards say after doing the readings, she remembers and it's insane how the cards are always right T.T the cards fall out of the deck due to fate. Sometimes, it has be wondering if the future is already set in stone.

I've also finished watching Attack on Titan, and the future being set in stone is kinda the premise of the show if you haven't watched it. The ending also made me super depressed, and I know that I should stop watching depressing anime, but it's so good and I think a toxic trait of mine is that I like the feeling it gives me. Like, I like being sad. Idk lol.

Also, with writing, I think I found out the reason why I stopped. For one, I've kind of lost interest in TXT and kpop as a whole. I still listen to the music often, but I don't keep up with the news as much as I used to. Another thing is that watching certain things like AOT, I always wonder if I'll ever be able to create something as powerful and heart wrenching as something like that. Something to move people and have them thinking about it for years after. And due to my insecurities, I don't believe I can do that. So, every time I write, I feel like I've lost my touch, or that what I'm writing isn't meaningful enough. Tbh, I don't think it's that serious, because at the end of the day, I should enjoy what I write, even if it's not some huge hit that inspires people. I just have to fully convince myself of that.

but OMG, I haven't gotten a new anon in a really long time! I don't know what ever happened to my old anons, but I hope they're still out there lolol. You can def be ☄️ anon, and I'm so glad you asked!!!

[ooglywooglies]

philosophizing about the morality of killing cane toads in australia,

not because i really have any qualms about it im just a naturalist and i think its good to confront this question anyway. i was looking up methods for killing them since i know the most *humane* way is stepped hypothermia, ie you put them in your fridge for a day to anesthetize them and then move them to the freezer to kill them.

we dont really have the fridge/freezer space for that but theyre a danger to my dog (and the environment, theyre dangerously invasive) so i do have to cull them. the RSPCA makes a lot of suggestions about not being cruel to them, no clubbing them, no drowning them

i think my perspective is, theyre an animal, theyre not evil they dont know theyre a pest theyre just trying to live like the rest of us so theres no point in hating them or villainizing them. but they do need to be dealt with, and i sort of think that the method doesnt really matter.

like i sort of have this perspective that killing animals is obviously not immediately cruel, we have many justifiable reasons for doing so, but tbh i dont think we need to be so hung up on preventing suffering as much as we do. like its a good habit for us humans to have, when it comes to animals that we dont intend to kill. like fish and bugs can feel pain, more people should be educated about the value of the lives of animals we consider insignificant (especially if youre into keeping them as pets, i have an aquarium hobby so i have a deep perspective on peoples habitual fish cruelty and it bothers me that its so normal)

but for animals we do intend to kill i think as long as the death occurs then it doesnt matter because that animal doesnt continue on with whatever pain you inflicted onto it, it ceased eventually regardless of how painful it was to get there. i mean, i think that we care about minimizing the suffering of those we kill for our own sake, realistically it doesnt matter to our victim. and im generally against killing in cruel ways for my own sake. we had a mouse problem awhile ago and my husband at first bought a bunch of snap traps i was extremely against using them (to his credit he didnt understand how they worked or what the consequences of them would be) because it creates an unnecessary death that we would have to reckon with afterward, wed have to deal with the mouses dead body, dispose of it in a way that doesnt benefit us or the environment, and have the emotional weight of the prolonged suffering it experienced leading up to its death. if it was even dead by the time we found it.

we got live cage traps instead and when they caught the two mice that were in our house we walked down the road to a wooded area and let them go free, my husband said he was happy we had the chance to see how cute the little mouse fellow was and that it felt rewarding to let him go and live his life away from us. we dont know how well he survived after freeing him, i know some people say not to release them into a big field because birds might catch them but my feelings are that birds have to eat too. i dont care what happens to an animal living its life in the wild, mice are food. i dont need to have an investment in the mouse escaping and surviving to old age, the mouse is not the good guy and the bird is not the bad guy, and neither is the reverse true.

theres a few animals i am a lot less kind to in my house, spiders, cockroaches, ants. i think that just like sparing the mouse, killing cockroaches is something i do to preserve my own personal comfort, mainly i kill them (get my husband to kill them bc im too scared of bungling it) letting them live in my house is something that would cause me a lot of stress, as hard as i try to overcome a fear of bugs (its basically JUST cockroaches and huntsman spiders or wolf spiders im afraid of) that outweighs the comfort of sparing them most of the time (listen id catch and release huntsmans if i could but theyre too damn fast) i watch this educational spider guy on youtube and he basically categorizes spiders harmfulness in terms of psychic damage, bc realistically spiders are not physically harmful to humans basically ever, but a lot of us still have a weird primal fear of them and i dont think thats nothing.

anyway anyway about the toads, im thinking that unless we can find a good way to gas them we have to resort to killing them in an "inhumane" way. im not down with clubbing/squishing them bc 1) cane toads are fucking tough they can survive that shit, ive heard tons of stories of people splatting canes guts out just for the toad to pull its guts back in and hop away 2) thatd obviously leave a mess, thats more psychic damage for me and 3) my dog would probably be more interested in a gorey mess than a live toad

like thats the thing right, as long as you actually KILL the toad it sort of doesnt matter what you do it, itll be dead and therefore not have to live its life with whatever injuries you give it, and it wont be able to contribute to further harm of the environment. that means the most important thing to consider when choosing a dispatch method is your own comfort.

my husbands parents when i first moved here took part in some toad cruelty, they just trapped him under a container in the yard hoping to starve/suffocate/overheat it to death and it took like, a full week for it to finally keel over, i wasnt very happy with it it weighed on me a bit. it doesnt matter for the toad because hes dead but i have a sense of empathy and i DO have to keep on living yknow. i know that framing is extremely selfish but thats just the reality of it isnt it. im sure the toad doesnt care at all now how it died, hes not in frog heaven or hell, hes not a frog ghost coming back to haunt them or anything.

i suppose you could apply this philosophy to people if you want but thats probably a bad idea for the sake of the living, humans have religion for a reason i suppose

currently experiencing toads

[cherry-shipping]

my day be so fine then BOOM i see s/o/r/i/e/l fanart

[filwld]

You shine just as bright.

Summary: you go star gazing with Alcina and have a sweet moment together. Warnings: Fluff (:<

(THE NSFW FIC IS STILL IN THE WORKS IM A PERFECTIONIST AND LIKE IT TO BE PERFECT SO UNTIL THEN HERE!)

Castle Dimitrescu was so beautiful at night. The way the moon light would shine through the windows would bring you so much joy, naturally you were happy but you had this sort of connection with the night since you were a mere child that you just couldn't explain.

Staring up into the night sky you smile softly letting out a relaxed sigh, shoulders relaxing releasing all the tension from your body. You sip your tea while sitting on the open window seal feeling the cold breeze go against your skin, it was a summer night so you knew it wasn't to cold for the girls just in case they barged in. You often found yourself like this in the library at night. Just sitting, staring up at the moon waiting for your lover to be done with her work, sometimes you consider bringing her with you to stare at the moon but always choosing otherwise because you don't want to bother her with your silly interest in the night scared that she might laugh at you. You knew deep down that, that statement was far from true. Alcina would never laugh at you over something that brings you joy but that didn't stop your insecurities from flooding your mind. Sighing you look down staring into the teacup that was now almost empty. You twirl the cup watching the liquid swirl inside, you were so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice Alcina had entered the room and called your name softly which goes unnoticed by you to far lost in your own head. So.. Alcina just admired you smiling softly. The way the moonlight showered on your skin, and the light making your eyes shine a little brighter than normal.. She couldn't help but feel her undead heart beat once more, all for you. All for her little maiden. All hers. You finally noticed her and let out a surprised yelp jumping slightly and putting a hand over your heart breathing heavily. "Jesus! My love you must say something before sneaking up on me like that." You breath out after taking a few deep breathes to try and calm your racing heart. Alcina chuckles walking over to you with a few large strides due to her long legs. "I'm sorry for frightening you little one but I did call out to you.. But you were to caught up in thoughts to notice. Is everything alright?" Alcina asks you softly while moving a strand of hair out of your face smiling down at you softly before taking a seat beside you on the window seal luckily being one of the bigger windows she didn't have to worry about her size causing any discomfort. You lean into her touch smiling while putting your hand over hers staring up into her eyes loving the way the moonlight danced on her face. "Yes dear I'm alright just.. Relaxing simply." You answer her question and love the way she visibly relaxes and smiles down at you. You chuckle to yourself. Alcina raises an eyebrow. "What's so funny draga mea?" You shake your head smiling, before answering her. "Just thinking about how adorable you are." You watch her eyes widen slightly before chuckling lifting her hand from your cheek to your hair petting you gently. "You are the only one to ever refer to me as 'adorable' but ill take it if its coming from you." Alcina says chuckling. You smile shaking your head before returning to look at the moon. Out of the corner of your eye you see her follow your gaze before looking back at you. "Star gazing tonight little dove?" You hum to the question, drinking the rest of the tea before setting the cup down onto your lap without turning to her you respond. "I do this every night." You could tell she was shocked and slightly annoyed that she didn't know this. Alcina always prided herself in the fact that she knew everything that happens in the castle so hearing that there was something she didn't know obviously bothered her. "What? How have I never notice this? Draga mea why didn't you ever tell me." Alcina responds, you smile at the annoyance in her voice. Turning to face her you see the annoyance in her eyes, but mostly shock. You take the hand that was rested in her lap and placing it on your own. "Darling take no offense to this, I just simply didn't think it would matter to you.” You respond watching as Alcina's eyebrows furrowed and she pouted slightly grumbling out. "Everything about you matters to me pet.." You

can't stop the wide grin that appears on your face at the sight of her pout. You lean up to kiss her softly placing a hand on her cheek, she sighs softly into your mouth moving both of her hands to grab your waist and place you on her lap bringing you as close as physically possible.

You giggle at her face as you pull away, moving to caress the side of her head staring deeply into her eyes. "Alright dear I'm sorry, but now you know. So why don't we stay here awhile and enjoy the moonlight together?”

You ask her watching as her pout disappears and here comes her charming smile that made you weak in the knees. She hums running a hand up and down your side loving the warmth that radiates off your body. "Yes.. let's, but before we do that I have to show you something." before you could protest your picked up bridal style and being taken to wherever she see's fit. She begins walking you down a hallway that you've never seen before, furrowing your eyebrows wondering how you've never seen this part of the castle even after all these years of being here. not soon later you reach a door leading to outside you assume by the handle, you watch as she pushes the door open with one hand, the other holding you close to her chest. You gasp at the sight behind the door, there in front of you was the most beautiful garden you've ever seen, all type of flowers going from roses to peony to even hibiscus flowers! All blooming beautifully under the moonlight.. In the middle of the garden was beautifully cut grass and the view... Oh the view was beautiful, you could see the whole village. You look up at Alcina surprised and see her already staring at you, smiling lovingly down at you. Eyes widening at the expression before you smile and express your love through your eyes placing a hand on her cheek and pulling her down slightly to kiss her softly on the lips. She hums and deepens the kiss tilted her head slightly for a better angle. Alcina pours all her feelings into this kiss, and you do well to do the same. The way the moonlight is shinning on both of you felt amazing, making it feel so intimate.. So peaceful. You never wanted this to end. Not now, not ever. The softness of her lips brushing against yours.. Nothing could ever top this feeling you get when your with her. Soon she parts and allows you to take a minute to breath before her lips are on your neck pecking it softly before letting you down, you whine at the lost of connection. She chuckles before patting your head. "We have the whole night to kiss away darling, but why not somewhere more comfortable yes?" Alcina says while walking forward towards the grass. You raise an eyebrow wondering what she's doing before they widen widely. Alcina grabs her dress and goes to sit on the grass getting comfortable before looking back at you, your jaw drops at the sight of her getting her dress DIRTY just to sit in the grass with you. "Are you just going to sit there pet or are you going to join me?" Alcina says smirking well aware of the effect she has on you. You blush quickly going to sit besides her just before your butt hits the floor you feel hands on your waist. You yelp feeling yourself being placed onto something much softer than grass, turning you notice Alcina was smirking down at you after placing you on her lap wrapping her arms around your waist, bringing your head closer to her chest. You feel her warm breath on your neck as she whispered into your ear, "Now you can see the sky so much better don't you say pet?" You know your ears are burning red from how flustered you are. To far flustered to speak you simply nod. You feel the hot air leave her mouth as she chuckles, Alcina nuzzles her nose into your shoulder taking a deep breath breathing your heavenly scent in before sighing in content. The way the moonlight showers over the two of you making everything so romantic to the point you feel like a princess in one of those romance novels you read. You smile to yourself at the thought before focusing back on your love at the feeling of her nibbling on your neck beginning to giggle at the feeling, slightly ticklish in that area your eyes widen feeling Alcina smirk at the realization. She tries to continue tickling you but you yelp and quickly turn around throwing your arms around her neck shaking your head. "No no no, don't even THINK about it

Alcina!" You say trying your hardest to make a intimidating face, Alcina stares at you surprised by the face before whole hearted laugh escapes Alcina to the point she even throws her head back. You glare at her and she notices laughing even harder but still looking at you. After a moment she collects herself before staring down at you smirking "Oh well aren't you scary little one?" Alcina says teasingly. You blush but hold the glare. Soon she sighs smiling, "Oh alright little one no tickle fights tonight." Alcina says and goes to caress your cheek. You grin at the victory throwing your hand up into a first saying a slight "yes!" to no one in particular. Alcina watches with kind eyes smiling so hard it looks almost painful.

After your little "Victory dance" You look up into the sky at the perfect time and watch as a shooting star goes across the sky, your mouth falling open in awe at the sight. "Wow.." You whisper, you look to Alcina to see if she saw it and see her looking at the sky with a peaceful look on her face. The laugh lines showing as she smiles, the peaceful look in her eyes, the way her chest moves up and down with each breath. You smile before continuing to look up into the sky again joining her.

You both just stay there for some time, staring up into the sky loving the feel of having each other near. After some time Alcina breaks the silence. "I think I understand why you like this so much now pet." You look back at her and raise an eyebrow. "Really?" You respond to her. Alcina nods her head and without looking at you, she continues. "The sky is so peaceful to stare at.. I find myself getting lost with trying to count how many stars are out." You nod understanding what she means fully. Admiring her as she talks falling even harder for her. You go to respond before you shut your mouth shut as she opens her mouth to continue. "But I found myself loving the night simply because YOU love it dear.. The sky is just the sky to me normally. But you make it have such a deeper meaning draga mea.. And I want to thank whatever made you but ill settle for thanking you. You make me enjoy even the simple things pet, And I cannot thank you enough.." Alcina finishing and returns to looking at you, staring softly at your expression. Eyes tearing up you throw your arms around her neck pulling her close crying silently into her shoulder. "Oh Alcina.. I love you so much.. So so much.." You whisper to her. You feel her hum and tighten her hold on you bringing you closer. "And I love you.. My shooting star."

[captainaikus]

Oh thank goodness. I was so scared I’d made you uncomfortable. Glad to know that’s not the case. Also currently getting ready to watch the latest episode of Blue Lock cause watching gay soccer players is the perfect way to distract myself from crying because of gay delinquents aka Tokyo Revengers 😌✨. I swear the number of edits I’ve saved to my phone these last two weeks is insane. You should totally pick it up again whenever you have the time (and ofc only if you want to) 👀. Izana brainrot has escalated to reading the fanfics under the character x reader tag. That’s when I know I’m down bad 💀💀💀. Anywho. You should absolutely catch up on Lore Olympus I just caught up yesterday and uhhhhh a lot has happened 👀. And everyone needs themselves a man like Hades like SIR IM- . Oh man I love yoo takes me back. I stopped reading it awhile ago cause I think it was being dragged out and I kinda lost the plot somewhere. I don’t like when the story keeps continuing when it’s just for the sake of it and it doesn’t work with the plot. There are very few exceptions to this. Tokyo Revengers obv being one of them cause I would seriously be so happy if it went on forever and I got to see what the daily lives of all my beloved characters were like. I have a love hate relationship with Ken Wakui 😤🤧😭. OH ALSO as sad as I am abt the ending I’m so excited for the second season in January (Black Dragons arc is my favorite). Have you seen the trailer? ALSO there was an announcement right after the release of the final chapter saying that Wakui was gonna be doing a special arc abt the Toman founders and I really hope it’s in the reset timeline with Takemitchy cause I need to see how him and Mikey did it all and just their relationship with everyone (adding childhood-friends trope to the number of reasons why this ship has everything). And it also included the announcement of Wakui saying he’s working on multiple spin-offs and I was like AFJBGFDJKHHHGGHGGG YES GIMME *ahem* also I haven’t read the Bajifuyu Letter from Baji Keisuke spin off yet but I was gonna wait until after the manga ended as a source of comfort yknow so I gotta do that eventually. EGGNOID MY DEAR COLD-BLOODED KING SIRENS LAMENTS LETS PLAY. I LOVE ALL OF THESE SO MUCH. Haven’t read them in a while tho 😅 (besides Lore Olympus atm). I recommend Brimstone and Roses, Unlovable Replacement, Midnight Poppy Land, SubZero, Down to Earth, and The Kiss Bet. They’re all on webtoons. OH and i heard that Nagi makes an appearance in the latest ep so I’m excited not cause I’m falling for him or anything ofc. How’s life? Good I hope? And I’m happy that my description was somewhat on point and that it didn’t make you uncomfortable. Oh and also love your sketches so much they look so good 🤩!!! Uh question. Just to double check. The constant asks aren’t a bother are they? I know you said you like interacting but I just wanna make sure it’s not annoying having to respond to constant asks from the same person all the time. If that makes sense? Anyways I hope you sleep well/wake up refreshed!! It’s night time here atm. As always take care of yourself! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Starry!!

I finished reading the latest chapters of the manga (and I'm amazed at the fact that I've managed to keep up with it so far; are we ever gonna get shirtless aiku and i wanna see him with the italian team)

my only motive in life atp (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

I love yoo does make me feel nostalgic; but yeah as much as I love the whole story, the plot did get dragged out. So like here's the thing, I've watched a lot of k dramas and some of them are really lengthy. Like whats wrong with secretary kim had a good plot and everything, so did suspicious partners but this new one I watched (the penthouse) it got dragged out for so long that I didn't even want to watch season 3; even if it was interesting i'm being pushed to watch hospital playlist even with let's play when Sam and Charles were being dragged with Marshall in the bg i... dropped it. No ill will intended against the author and their artwork; cause they are amazing, but i lose interest with complicated plots. me watching he is a psychometric

The coincidence! I was literally asking abt the black dragons today (wanted to know if Shinichiro is there or not and turns out he is!) I wanna see the whole thing with Mitsuya, Hakkai and Taiju - me having a tr brainrot and thinking if i should work on it or will people get annoyed with me ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾ I like manga omakes- they can even be turned into mini eps cause of it - esp with the trio and their pet shop business! (Me thinking of the moment when Baji's handwriting is so bad that Chifuyu had to show him how to write and teach him- he really thought wearing glasses would make him smart smh) and if i do read tr I'm gonna start uploading manga panels on my blog as well- so be prepared to be annoyed ig ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

I'll definitely check out the webtoons you sent me (kiss the bet seems interesting and midnight poppy land has popped into my recs a couple of times). I have to watch the next ep of blue lock - curious to know if Nagi's voice is how I pictured it.

I'm doing alright! Working on wips and clearing them, studying, watching shows *sips coke* and listening to music; we hit another mini milestone - 1.2k (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و so I'm working on two fics; angst comfort

istg the way you guys might come at me for this ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

I just wanted to do something fun on the blog hehe- responding to comments with art. It's not very well done, yea but i'm not used to drawing digitally nor anime that often since I sketch paintings and statues... but its just to good around with my followers and to let people know that i do read their comments (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

Honestly? I don't get interaction on my blog apart from you, 💙 anon and a few more - and - I like talking to you; esp when you mentioned abt having consistency while having to talk to someone? cause that's how it should be- and i don't regret saying this but the number of times i have unfollowed moots cause of this (big author or not; I'm not gonna engage in conversations if i'm going one sided abt this). So now I just prefer to chat with my followers and anyone who wants to drop in my inbox. And no, I don't find you annoying bb; you're very fun to talk to and I look forward to your visits- no matter how many times! This is probably the most interaction I've received in my entire writing experience and actually being treated like a person on the other side of the screen rather than being asked to write a part two (after its already been discussed many times) or asking to be tagged without my work being interacted with- and by interaction i mean telling me and describing to me what you liked about the fic and all that yk. And there used to be some days when I had my askbox closed so this is a pleasant change from that

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

so yeah feel free to send as many asks as you want - i'd be happy to see them ( ˊᵕˋ )♡

*sending back warm hugs*

[cuddlyscribe]

Could you do the nsfw alphabet letters D F J V W for deidara and hidan please? Thank you!

heck yes, anon!! thank you (as well as others who sent in requests) for your patience! summer is here for me, so I am beyond happy to finally have loads of free time to dedicate to my blogs now 🥺I hope you enjoy my dear! ❤️

d ➜ dirty secret

not sure if this counts as a dirty secret per-say, but he thinks it's a little silly and he's embarrassed to admit it to you

but he really wants to have sex with you while a bunch of his art explodes in the background

just that chaotic artistic energy of his combined with his favorite person gets him harder than he'd care to admit

he may tell you about it one day in the future, but until then he'll be mulling over it very carefully in his mind

f ➜ favorite position

any position where he can eat you out or suck you off is his favorite, and he takes no criticism

when it comes to giving head, he enjoys making it a bit of a competition. he wants to try and get you to be so fucked out that you can't do anything except moan his name and pull his hair a lil

stares intently at you to soak in every little detail, committing your expression to memory

now that I think about it, deidara is very partial to 69 as his favorite position 🤔

j ➜ jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yes.

LOL no but seriously, as a member of the akatsuki he is away from you more than he'd like. as much as nothing could ever hope to feel as good as you, his mind will sometimes get flooded with horny thoughts and he has to release that tension somehow

is one of the big reasons why he always looks at you so intently during sex. he wants to have those memories stored so that when he's gone, he'll be able to play them back in vivid detail

in short, deidara certainly doesn't prefer jerking off and just does it as a tension reliever while away on missions

v ➜ volume (how loud are they, etc.)

somewhere between quiet and loud; he hits that sweet spot of being juuuust loud enough to irritate sasori in the other room

he doesn't moan all that loudly, but the dirty talk is where it's at

it's not at hidan-level loud, but he isn't afraid to shout a bit especially when he's getting close

lots of satisfied sighs and groans, though. will also chuckle lowly when he knows he's gotten you all worked up

w ➜ wild card (random headcanon)

deidara is of course an artist, and he is inspired by strong emotions to make pieces

you are indeed his muse, and your sex life is often the inspiration behind his more abstract sculptures

they often evoke pleasure and elation; something he says is always what he feels when he's with you (sexually or otherwise)

you can always tell when he's inspired after sex because he'll just get this glow in his eyes and sprint off totally naked to his workbench

(I'll admit I struggled a bit with hidan because I want to stay true to his character, but I have this tendency to make everyone I write softer than they probably should be LOL. I hope you'll still enjoy ❤️)

d ➜ dirty secret

he'd never ever admit it probably, but he has this deep desire to be dominated by you.

as we all know, hidan likes to be in charge and the dom pretty much all the time, but he can't ignore this need to be a sub

if you really beg with him to spill the beans, he probably will (because it's you of course)

he'll try to explain himself out of it but by then it'll be too late, im sure ;)

f ➜ favorite position

always, always fucking you from behind. I know it's cliche to say, but I can't say that it doesn't make sense

this guy is rough, and he wants to be able to smack your ass and pull your hair and fuck you senseless all at the same time

he's obsessed with the way he can pull you up to him too, teasing your neck with his fingers if you are a fan of breath play

his hands fit perfectly at your waist, and he isn't afraid to remind you of it

j ➜ jack off (masturbation headcanon)

actually, after you two got together hidan hasn't jerked off once!

yes he's also out on missions just as much as deidara, but he personally doesn't have a need to release tension that way when he's been gone awhile

not that he hasn't tried before, but he was just never satisfied with how it felt for him

all he gets is frustrated, but that just means he's gonna jump your bones right away when he gets back

v ➜ volume (how loud are they, etc.)

you probably saw this coming before you even clicked on the read more, but hidan is a LOUD motherfucker

moans, groans, dirty talk, all of it is at a ridiculously high volume. but that certainly doesn't mean you get drowned out

he looooves to hear you make noises for him, and he lets out this huge laugh whenever you mewl for him

passing by kakuzu is an exercise in embarrassment

w ➜ wild card (random headcanon)

he gets turned on like nobody's business when you talk back to him in bed

get sassy, be a brat! he loves ALL of it and he can hardly contain himself when you throw him a good comeback

your banter often turns into sex, so it might not be such a big surprise that giving him attitude is a surefire way to get railed LOL

especially sharp replies will earn you a one way trip to a crazy orgasm

[jiminspjm]

stuffed full + namjoon k.

pairing: kim namjoon x reader

word count: 5.4k

genre: smut, some fluff at the end hehe

warnings: 18+! size kink, unprotected sex, namjoons fat dick (he’s huge oops), use of daddy … im sorry, pet names, breeding kink, mating press, oral, fingering, nipple play, i used the term daddy IM SORRY, praise kink, cockwarming, use of ‘whore’, dirty talk, this is filthy and this was basically an excuse to write smut because im a whore <3

sypnonsis: “i want every single piece of you.”

playlist: i miss you - adele : pearls - samantha gongol : U R - monsta x

dedicated to @rmverse i miss u and hope u are well muah, my favorite namjoon hoe 👹 <3

namjoon couldn’t keep his hands to himself. muffled moans came from your mouth as he kissed you. tongues clashing, as his large body pinned you against the elevator walls. his hands were stuffed down the front of your panties his fingers flicked your clit.

“hhh-namjoon-!” you whined, as his plush lips began to trail down your clavicle to the neckline of your sundress. how long was this elevator ride?

your voice fell on deaf ears as namjoon slipped his fingers inside you, scissoring them against your tight walls. with his freehand he pulled down the front of your dress, taking one of your pert nipples into his mouth. a ragged moan came from your lips as you felt your legs wobble from the sensations of his tongue rub your nipple. looking up at you, namjoon felt his cock harden at your head thrown back against the wall, chest rising. he swirled his tongue around the peak, nipping it gently. pulling his fingers from your soaked underwear, he pulled himself away from you. you breathed heavily as you watched him slip his fingers into his mouth, sucking your juices. you kept eye contact with him. licking his lips namjoon grinned at you as he pulled your dress up, then trailed a hand to your neck, gently holding it as he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“im going to take you into your apartment, and make you come over and over, until you can only remember my name, would you like that little one?” namjoons deep voice rasped into your ear. groaning, you nodded as your hand found his massive bulge, straining against his slacks.

taking a deep breath namjoon swore under his breath as he pulled away from you just as the elevator finally reached your floor. grabbing your hand, he rushed you to your apartment, pulling out his own key you gave him. quickly inserting the key, he unlocked it and rushed you two inside. not even turning the lights on, he pushed you against the door, large body covering yours as he kissed you.

you heard a thump as you dropped your bag onto the hardwood floor, him quickly doing the same. teeth nipping at your swollen lips, namjoon groaned as your hand rubbed against his erection. his tongue licked around the seam of your lips, coating your arousal along your mouth.

“namjoon-ah! please can we go to my room?” you managed to get the question out as his lips trailed down your neck. licking the valley of your breasts, namjoon didn’t even answer as he picked you up, causing you to yelp as he wrapped your legs around his large figure.

kicking off his shoes, he navigated his way to your room in the dim lighting. after a few moments he entered your room, tossing you gently on the bed. the only light emitting was from the city that glowed through your floor to ceiling windows. your body bounced slightly, causing you to giggle. leaning back on your elbows, you could see namjoon smile at you, as his fingers traced down your legs to unclasp your sandals.

sighing as you felt him massage your sore feet, you laid down on the bed and streched your body. after a moment you felt the bed dip, and cool finger tips slid up your thigh, and under the hem of your dress. your breath became labored as you felt the fabric rest against your hips. you looked up at your ceiling, holding your breath.

“what cute panties you have on,” namjoon said lowly, followed by silence. “would be a shame if-“

before you could register what was happening, you felt the fabric snap. sitting up quickly, mouth agape you looked at your boyfriend.

“namjoon! you asshole those were my-!” before you could even get a sentence out you felt namjoons warm tongue on your drenched center. your words faded into a moan, as you gripped his hair, pushing his face further into you.

“oh fucking hell, please!” you don't even know what you were pleading for, namjoon chuckled against your pussy. pulling at his dark roots, you felt your legs begin to shake as he kept your thighs apart with his hands. plunging his tongue inside you namjoon worked the muscle, in and out, flattening it against your hole. you moaned, the noise echoing in the quiet room. you felt yourself clench as namjoons large hands squeezed the flesh of your thighs. his fingers began to trail up to your boobs as his fingers tweaked your soft nipples.

pushing yourself into him harder, you began to grind against him. his tongue pushed itself further into you, his fingers still plucking at your sensitive nubs. throwing your head back in pleasure, you released his head to grip the headboard. you pulled your lip between your teeth as you felt your legs shake from your boyfriends ministrations.

“fucking hell namjoon, please! y-you know they’re sensitive-!” you whined as he moved his face back and forth, ignoring your cries as he slapped your tit gently.

finally, pulling away from you, he slowly licked his lips, looking at you in the dim lighting. he smirked slowly, pulling himself up from between your thighs. leaning in towards you, he placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“you taste divine, little one.” he said, his voice husky and low. breathing harshly, you pulled his mouth to yours by the collar of his shirt, not caring if you could taste yourself. you kissed him deeply, as your fingernails dug into his dress shirt. namjoon groaned against your mouth as he grinded his clothed erection on your bare pussy.

“please let me suck you, please.” you whimpered against his mouth. namjoon felt his dick harden even more, he felt as if he was going to rip through his slacks. namjoon chuckled at you, making your center gush even more.

“sure baby, but not for too long, i still want time to sink into your pretty pussy.” he said, placing one last kiss to your lips. you smiled at him, as he pulled away from you to sit at the edge of your bed. with wobbly legs, you slid on the plush carpet in front of him. namjoons massive thighs were spread, as he looked down at you.

“such a good girl for me, want me cock that bad huh?” he said, leaning down. his hands pulled at the fabric of your dress, indicating he wanted it off. raising your hands above your head, namjoon pulled the dress off, tossing it somewhere in your room. you felt your hair tickle your collarbones, as you self consciously put your hands across your chest.

“ah ah ah, let me see your pretty tits, or you can’t have.” he said eyeing his erection. you slowly removed your hands from yourself, placing them in your lap. namjoon smiled at you, sincerely. “you’re so beautiful baby, all mine.” he said, pulling you up to straddle him. your small body was perched on his large lap as you hovered above him. you smiled as he pressed a gentle kiss on your collarbone.

“hey your distracting me mister, also why am i the only one naked?” you said with a pout. namjoons low voice chuckled at you.

“my bad, little one. on your knees for me okay?” he said, lifting you easily by the waist and setting you on the floor once again. nodding you sat back on your knees and watched as he ran his fingers through his long grey hair.

slowly, namjoons long fingers unbuttoned his shirt one by one, revealing his tan pectorals. you felt your slick against your thighs as he pulled the shirt from being tucked into his slacks. you gaped at him, as his toned, large body is revealed. slight indents of abs showing through, shows he has been working hard at the gym. namjoon grins at your expression as he adjusts his chain around his neck.

“you are so out of my league.” you murmur. namjoon chuckles, large hands going for his belt.

“no baby, quite the opposite,” he says removing his belt and holding it in his hands. his slacks ride low on his hips, revealing the deep indents by his hips and the band of his calvin klein boxers. tossing his belt across the room, he then unbuttons his slacks and lets them fall. you practically drool as his large muscular thighs come into your view. your eyes wander to the very large tent in his boxers. eyes widening a bit, you feel your mouth water.

“its been awhile hasn’t it?” he says, kicking his pants to the side, and sitting on the bed. he leans back on his hands, muscles contracting as he looks down at you. gulping you nod at him, hands still in your lap.

licking your lips you say, “two weeks. you’ve been busy with your schedule.” you say with a shrug. namjoon frowns a little. he leans forward bringing a hand to stoke your cheek.

“im sorry love. i’ll make it up to you, i promise.” he says gently. you lean into his touch and smile at him.

“i know nams, im not mad.” you say seriously. namjoon sags in relief, pulling away from you, his dark eyes pool with lust. his hand goes to his large erection, gently palming it.

“come here, little one.” namjoon says, a deep rasp in his voice. you shuffle forward on your knees to fully seat yourself in front of him. his body heat makes you feel warm, perspiration begins to make its way to your neck. licking your lips, you look up at your boyfriend who towers over you even while sitting down. with shaky hands, you palm him through his boxers. namjoon groans as he leans back on his elbows. bicep muscles bulging as his breath becomes labored.

not wasting a second, you gently pull down his boxers. you feel yourself salivate as his fat cock flops out and against namjoons happy trail. sighing in relief, namjoon looks down at you, grinning smugly. hands rested against his thighs, you look at his memeber.

probably about the size of your forearm, his cock twitches as it lays a few inches above namjoons bellybutton. his tip is shiny with precum, and three thick, long veins line along the sides. his balls are heavy and full. not only is he impressive in size, but his girth. taking finger, you skim it up the sides as you rub the precum of his tip along the head.

“oh fuck, __ please.” namjoon begs lowly as he lays back fully. contemplating, you watch as your boyfriends chest rises and falls slowly. feeling your body grow hot you ask him.

“can i sit on it?” you ask in a small voice. namjoons breath falters and he quickly sits up. looking down at you, he quirks an eyebrow.

“why?” he asks, confused. you become shy, drawing shapes into his thighs you cough.

“it feels good, and i know you like it when i sit on you. plus it will prep me for when you actually fuck me.” you say looking at him under your lashes. namjoon mouth is slightly agape as he looks at you.

“christ, who knew you were such a whore for my cock baby?” namjoon says, pulling you up by your waist. the slick against your inner thighs is causing you to squirm. you wanted him in you, bad. namjoon shuffles back on the bed, pulling you with him, he lays back against some of your pillows, thighs spread out. he’s massive. sweat sheens against his strong chest, as he breaths heavily. gold chain resting haphazardly against his collarbones, as he rests his hands behind head. his cock lays on his thigh, a bit soft now but still thick and pulsating. you crawl between his thighs, nervous as you grab his member and gently tug. namjoons breath falters as he clenches his thighs, shutting his eyes he lets out a deep breath.

“let me take care of you, baby.” you say, straddling him. namjoons eyes, still closed he nods as he crossed his forearms over his eyes. you lower yourself onto his member, not putting it in yet as you grind against him. you both moan at the contact, as you put your hands on his chest, moving your slick cunt back and forth on his thick cock.

“oh f-fuck, that feels so good.” namjoon moans, opening his eyes to look at you. you stare at him, breathing slowly as your pussy grinds against him. his tip nudges your clit once in awhile making you twitch.

“your c-cock feels so good,” you whine, moving your hips faster. “i can’t wait for you to be in me, stuffing me full of you.” you say, as you brace yourself on his chest. namjoons breathing becomes extremely labored as he feels his cock pulsate under your wet pussy. he begins to grow harder.

“let me fill you up baby, shh its okay.” namjoon says, putting his hands on your hips, moving you at a slower pace. you whine more, as his tip prods at your nub. you look at namjoon as he sits up slightly, hands still holding your hips. “tell me if it hurts, okay?” namjoon says, rubbing gentle circles into your flesh. you nod, leaning forward to place a kiss on his mouth. reciprocating back, he kisses you sweetly, as he takes one hand to grab his member. you sigh against his mouth, as you sit up higher. he nudges his tip against your wet center, slapping it lightly a few times. “you’re so wet for me, kitten.” namjoon groans, teasing his swollen tip against your tight hole.

“only for you-!” not even being able to get the full sentence out, namjoon pulls you slowly onto his engorged head. digging your nails into his shoulders at the pressure, you let out a low moan as you feel yourself pop over his head. “oh fucking hell, namjoon.” you whine into his neck as you swivel your hips against his head, “it feels so good daddy.” you say, and immediately freeze. namjoons grip tightens on your waist and his breathing becomes labored. silence envelopes the room, only your breathing could be heard. before you could say something you feel namjoon thrust his length entirely into you, well most of it. throwing your head back at the intense pressure, you clench tightly around him. “ngggg-n-nam,” you can’t even get a full sentence out as namjoon grips your hips, to situate you fully on his fat cock. “s-so full.” you stutter, as you feel him in your bellybutton.

“fucking hell, __ you know what calling that does to me.” namjoon growls, slapping your bottom harshly then gripping the pinked flesh. moaning, you wiggle against him, feeling every ridge and veins skim your walls. “you’re so small on my lap, my cock barely fits in you. i can see the bulge in your stomach, little one.” namjoon whispers in your ear. you are still nestled around him, arms wrapped around his back, as his arms rest by your hips. “you like having daddy’s fat cock in your hole hmm? c-cant even fit all the way in.” he says, thrusting his hips up into you gently.

you feel fuzzy, as your clit brushes his dark patch of hair at the base of his cock. “i-i feel so full, so good namjoon. you’re so big, stuffing me full of your cock.” you say, rubbing your hard nipples against his chest. namjoon curses, gripping your ass tightly before spanking the supple flesh. gently he pulls you away from him so he can lay back on the pillows, his biceps bulge as he once again rests his hands behind his head.

“mmm, such a good girl. grind on my cock, get yourself off kitten. then i will fuck you and fill you with my cum over and over.” he says, slapping your ass harshly. you groan as the sting mixes with the pleasure of him deep inside you. he smirks at you, taking his chain in between his lips. you watch him, as his large body stretching back to watch you, hooded eyes lustfully flitting across your face. aware that your pussy is dripping around his large member you nod at him.

resting your hands on his stomach, you move for the first time. not confident enough to actually ride him, you grind back and forth— keeping him inside your heat. “oh-h that feels so good-!” you moan, as his tip brushes your gspot. moving slowly, you grind your clit against his pubes. you felt so full, so unbelievably full. namjoon watches you, using his cock to get yourself off. he felt his breathing get heavy. sitting up a bit he brings his hands to play with your nipples, tweaking one with each hand. he watches your eyes roll in the back of your head, as you instinctively roll your hips. namjoon feels his dick twitch as you slowly roll your hips against him, clenching like a vice.

“fucking, h-hell.” he groans, pinching your nipples harder. not being able to take it anymore, he sits up again causing you to moan at the sudden deepness. pushing up on his knees, he folds you in half. eyes widened, you scramble to hold the bedsheets. “im going to breed your pretty pussy, and make you cum. then i will take you from behind.” namjoon hisses. you look at him between your legs, feeling the burning sensation of your thighs.

“please, breed me daddy.” you whine, clenching around him. namjoon swears, before pulling completely out of you, making you hiss at the sudden emptiness before he slams his fat cock back into your tight hole.

“NGGH-NAMJOON!” you scream, as his relentlessly thrusts in and out of you. balls slapping against your ass harshly, as your boyfriend fucks you. he breaths heavily, his chain slapping against his chest. you feel like you’re gonna be split in half, and you love it. the bed squeaks beneath you as he thrusts your tight hole.

“yeah that's it, fuck, take it. like the good girl you are, you like daddy's fat cock huh? it barely fits still, your small cunt cant take it. your so tiny beneath me. i love it. seeing my cock move in your stomach, fuck. i love you.” namjoon says, thrusting quicker. sweat sheens his forehead, making his grey hair stick to it.

“hah! ah-i love you!” you cry. you feel warm breath fan your nipple as he envelopes the peak and sucks gently. he takes the other one between his finger tips and rolls the swollen nub gently. “n-namjoon, you’re so big, i feel s-so-,” you hiccup, not even able to get a sentence out. namjoon sucks on your breasts like his life depends on it. pulling away from your boob, he pulls away but continues to rub the swollen peaks with his thumbs.

“yeah, you like that? your nipples are so sensitive. fuck, i know you like when i play with them.” he groans, feeling you clench continuously around him. you feel a familiar wetness begin, whining you try and push his hands away.

“namjoon, p-please your gonna make me squirt-!” you whine, as his rubs his thumbs quicker. namjoon smirks down at you, drool trickles from the corner of your mouth.

“oh fuck! look at that, your creaming my cock baby.” namjoon teases. watching as a white substance coats his cock as he pulls in and out of you.

“hah! fuck y-mmm!” your insult is swallowed up by his lips as he plunges his tongue into your mouth, smacking his lips against yours harshly. he pulls away, a string of saliva keeps you connected.

“are you close little one?” namjoon asks, looking down at you.

“yes, but please make keep going. keep going, please, please daddy.” you beg, gripping the bed sheets tightly to the point you think they may rip. namjoon swears under his breath as he pulls your thighs down to rest on his hips.

“lay on your stomach for me baby.” namjoon rasps. breathing heavily, you nod sitting up. you feel namjoons dick begin to slip out of you as you turn around to lay on your stomach, but that feeling of emptiness is brief as you feel namjoons slide his wet dick snugly back into you. you feel your toes curl as his hands press themselves onto your hips. one of his thighs rests on either side of you, while one foot is planted on the floor. namjoon pushes down on your hips as he thrusts harshly into you, his low groans fill the room. your face is buried into your comforter as you feel his heavy sack slap against your wet center.

“nggggh,” your moans are muffled by the bed, as namjoon continues to thrust harder and harder.

“ugh,” he groans. the sound of skin slapping echoes through the room. as namjoon thrusts harshly into you. namjoons arms give out and he lays himself on top of you, being careful not to crush you with his large frame. you feel one of his hands snake up around the front of your neck, holding your head up and the other to roughly grab your breasts. you see yourself in the mirror that is situated by the door next to your closet. even though the lighting is low, you can make out the flush of your cheeks and how small you look under namjoon. “look how sexy you look as i fuck your tight hole.” namjoon moans into your ear, gently nipping at the shell. “i wish you could see my cock getting sucked in by your greedy pussy, so pretty.” he murmurs, tweaking your nipples. you can’t even let out a coherent response as he brings his fingers into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. you gag slightly as he scissors his fingers along your molars. you feel like you are about to explode from all the sensations he is doing to your body, but the fullness of his cock is the one you feel the most. slowing his thrusts, namjoon pulls out causing you to let out a painful whine.

“namjoon, what the fuck!” you cry, as you turn your head to look at him. your boyfriends chest heaves, as he looks at you. only lust can be seen in his dark eyes. his cock looks heavy, and shiny with your juices. you feel your hole clench in want, needing to be filled up. slapping the bed, you whine looking at him. frustrated tears blur your vision, “why did you pull out?! i was so clo-,” before you can finish your complaint, namjoon stands at the end of the bed, grabbing you roughly by the waist he lifts you effortlessly. yelping, you wrap your hands around his shoulders to steady yourself as he walks towards your windows, which leads to the balcony overlooking seoul. he stands you up so that you are facing the windows, your legs feel wobbly as your toes sink into the carpet. you faintly see his reflection looking back at you, you let out a deep breath.

“place your hands on the window, kitten.” namjoon says in a low voice. you inhale sharply before placing your hands on the window, the glass becomes foggy due to you standing so close, and the cool glass makes your nipples perk. namjoon positions himself behind you grabbing your hips. before you can question what he’s doing, namjoon lifts your legs to wrap around his waist. you yelp, as your cheek presses against the glass.

“namjoon what are you d-!nng!” before you could protest namjoons tip enters into you, feeling yourself pop over his swollen head he pushes himself fully into your heat.

“ffffuck, yeah,” namjoon lets out a long groan as he watches his cock sink into you. “fuck, your cunt is so tight, even the third time i still feel like i cant fit. but your cunt can take it hmm? you want my fat cock in you all the time, don’t you baby? maybe next time i will fill both holes at the same time.” he says his finger ghosting over your untouched hole, you feel yourself clench. “oh? you like that, how naughty. maybe i’ll stuff your cunt with one of your toys and my cock too, would you like that?” namjoon says as he slaps your ass roughly. all you can do is whine, as the only thing holding you up is your boyfriend, as he pulls you back and forth on his dick. you feel your feet dangle next to his waist, you aren’t surprised your boyfriend could hold you up but from how sweaty you were getting you felt yourself losing grip on the window.

“namjoon-ah! im slipping, i can’t stay up,” you groan as he lands another slap on your ass. before you could chastise your boyfriend for putting your body in this position, he grabs you by your breasts, holding you to the front of his chest. you feel your back against his warm, sweaty chest as you look down where your connected.

“hmm, see that? i can see my bulge inside you, how cute.” he says, placing searing kisses along your neck. you tilt your head back on his shoulder as he tweaks your swollen nubs. namjoon grinds himself against you, relishing in the way your hole clenches around him. you breathing has turned short, as he pulls and twists your nipples. looking down you can see a bump right below your bellybutton. namjoon hums, “im going to sit on your bed, and you are going to ride me, okay little one? i like watching you squirm on my cock as its nice and deep in you. if you are a good girl, i will cum in you and you can sit on my dick and keep it nice and warm,” namjoon says, still fondling you.

“nng, yes namjoon, p-please let me cum.” you whine, bringing your hand to your clit, rubbing yourself as his cock pulses inside you. you hear namjoon swear lowly, as he walks back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

“turn around.” he says. pulling yourself out of him one last time, you turn to face him. muscular thighs spread as he looks at you. a smile comes over his face. “i love you, __. your pleasure is my priority. get yourself off on me once again, little one.” he says, with love in his eyes as he cups your face. a smile stretches' across your lips as you straddle him. “i love you nams.” you say softly, bringing him in for a kiss. lips still connected, you take his large member into your hand, guiding it to your pussy. teasing yourself a bit, you rub his head against your swollen folds. whimpering into namjoons mouth, he grips your waist and thrusts up into your heat once more. throwing your head back, your hands find his shoulders as you begin to slide up and down on his fat cock.

“so, s-so full,” you moan, as his tip brushes your cervix. namjoon pulls his plump lip between his teeth as he watches you ride him.

“you’re so pretty.” he says simply, as he takes on of your breasts into his mouth, “so beautiful, creaming yourself all over my cock.” he says, swirling his tongue on your erect nipple. the sensations from his tongue has you reeling as you bounce faster on his dick.

“close, so close, please!” you cry, you don’t even know what you are begging for. namjoon lays all the way back on the bed, taking his thumbs and rubbing them in circular motions on your nubs.

“cmon baby,” he moans, throwing his head back. “mm close too, come on.” namjoon says, feeling his cock pulsate inside you. you focus on the sensations from your nipples, as you lean back and place your hands on namjoons thighs, grinding on his dick as you feel him hit that one spot over and over. with one thumb on your nipple, namjoon brings his other hand down to your clit, rubbing in slow, circular motions.

you see spots of white and black as you feel your orgasm approaching, your moans become louder and louder as you milk namjoons cock.

“oh! oh! oh fuck im-!” you scream as you feel yourself come undone, juices spraying on the tuft of hair at his base, and along his stomach. namjoon swears loudly, as he feels you clench heavily around him. you feel yourself still coming undone as namjoon grabs your hips and thrusts himself in and out of you at an inhumane pace. you feel your breasts bouncing, the only thing you hear is skin slapping aggressively and namjoons low moans. through bleary eyes you watch as namjoon throws his head back as he continues to fuck his cock into you.

“n-namjoon please im sensitive!” you whine, as you lean back on his thighs, still feeling yourself come undone.

“fuck! __!” namjoon feels himself clench as he grabs your ass harshly, squeezing the flesh as he empties himself into you. you whine lowly as you feel your self become full of his seed. thrusting lazily into you, namjoon continues to empty his seed into your heat. you feel yourself cum once more, your juices mixing with his release. you let out a groan as you fall onto namjoons chest, both your bodies slick with perspiration and cum. namjoon pulls out slowly, but not before thrusting in and out a few times, milking your pussy.

“nam, please. i can’t feel my pussy.” you whine, slapping his muscular chest. namjoon chuckles, as he pushes his cock fully into you. you flinch at the sensitivity, but find yourself getting wet once more. you both lay there, as he lazily thrusts in and out of your cunt. you hum, feeling filled to the brim. with wobbly arms you sit up, making his cock sink fully into you once more. a chill comes over you, as you whine from the fullness.

“i thought you couldn’t feel your pussy, hm?” namjoon teases as he rests his arms behind his head. you roll your eyes as you lift yourself off him, whining at the rawness of your folds. you watch his fat cock flop onto his stomach. his seed pours out of you, slowly trickling down your thigh. “no keep it in,” he whines “you’re so warm.” he says, grabbing his cock and nudging your hole. snickering at your boyfriends neediness, you grab his somewhat erect member and bring it to your folds.

“mmmm,” you moan, as you sink slowly down onto it. “why do you have to be so big?” you whine, as you fully settle onto him, namjoon thrusts up into you. yelping slightly you send him a glare. “i agreed to sit on it, give me some time to recover, asshole. i think you broke my pussy.” you pouted, leaning forward to lay on his chest.

namjoon snorts, “impossible, your cunt was made for me.” he says, giving your ass a firm slap. whining, you clench around him causing him to groan. “please stop clenching or im going to tie you to the bed and fuck the shit out of you.” he says in all seriousness. you fingers fiddle with his chain, as he rubs his fingers along your spine.

“hmm, give me an hour then you can,” you say cheekily, earning another slap on your ass. namjoon sits up, sheathing himself further into you. his grey hair is wet against his neck and forehead, he raises an eyebrow.

“give me and hour then i will.” namjoon says, standing up with his dick still inside you. he walks to the other side of the bed, laying down with you on top of him. you wiggle to get yourself comfortable. namjoon watches as you squirm on top of him. “relax baby, i just want you to lay with me.” namjoon says gently, rubbing circles into your skin. looking down at him you smile before leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek.

“i love you.” you say sincerely, pressing another kiss to his lips. namjoon smiled against you, running his fingers up your bare back.

“hmmm, i didn’t hurt you did i?” he asks, eyes flitting across your body. you giggle at your boyfriends concern.

“does it look like you did, you nerd,” you tease, fingering the metal of his chain. rolling his eyes, he firmly slaps your bottom, making you squeak from the impact.

“be nice.” he scolds, pulling you close to his chest. you grin as you lay your head on his strong chest. silence envelopes the room, as you feel your eyes begin to flutter shut. namjoon rubs gentle circles into your back, lulling you to sleep.

“i love you too baby.”

- - - - - - - - -

SO THIS WAS PRIVATE FOR AWHILE BUT HERE U GO LMAO FOR NAMJOONS BDAY YAYYY <3

well, there u go lol. i am so shit at writing endings ;-; so i am sorry, but i start uni this week so i am not entirely off of my hiatus but i will try and be more active, i really wanna edit my theme and fix my masterlist so i will try and get that done this week slowly. updating links is so annoying. also kinda wanna change my user. but idk, so yeah! hope yall liked it, deadass had to read hella smut and look at twitter for ideas , im not gonna link anything cus ... im ashamed haha. namjoon got me outta my slump so thank him hehe, have a good day! <3

[angstysebfan]

The Truth Will Set You Free- Part 9

Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader, Thor x Reader (other Avenger characters)

AU: Modern

Summary: You dated for two years, and thought he was the one for you. One day you came home and found him with someone else. After running away from you, you return home and found yourself in the arms of Thor. When Thor decides to introduce you to his friends at a dinner, you realize that there’s something familiar about the house you were visiting.

Warnings: implied cheating, language (not proofread)

--

You take a deep breath as you walk up to the door that was once so familiar. So many happy memories on the other side of that door, but 2 memories are at the forefront of your mind as you raise your hand to knock. One being the day you found Natasha and Bucky in your bed, and the other was the last time you were here and Natasha told you her side of things. Both memories leave a bad taste in your mouth.

You find the courage to knock, and wait patiently for Bucky to come to the door. After a few seconds, the door opens to reveal, not Bucky, but his sister Rebecca. Rebecca’s eyes widen, “Oh my god! Y/N, it’s been so long!” she says surprised and pulling you into a hug. You cautiously hug her back, surprised by her treating you well after everything that happened.

Rebecca pulls back with a wide smile, “Come in! Bucky didn’t mention you were coming. I’m so happy to see you!” she says as she shuts the door behind you. 

You turn and look at a the young girl, who you always loved as a sister. You gave her a tentative smile, “He didn’t know. Is he home?” you ask.

Rebecca nods but doesn’t move, instead grabs your hand. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened between you both. He has always been an idiot, but I know he’s missed you,” she says.

You pull your eyes away from her, “Yea, well the fault lies with us both I guess,” you say.

She gives your hand a squeeze, “I know I am biased, but I hope you both work it out. I always hoped we would be sisters one day. But he is out back, feel free to head out. I’ll give you both some privacy,” she says.

You nod and turn toward the back door which leads to the patio in the yard. As you take a step onto the patio, you see Bucky fiddling with the lawn mower, not sure if he noticed you entered the yard. “Who was at the door Bec?” he asked, assuming you were his sister.

“I told you awhile ago to get a new mower,” you say.

Bucky sits up quickly at the sound of your voice. You see the relief and fear in his eyes when he locks his with yours. “Y/N,” he says softly.

He gets up and wipes his hands on a rag before walking up to the patio, where you are. He motions toward a chair, one you recognize since you picked it out. He grabs a beer our of a cooler and motions to you, silently asking if you want one. You shake your head in response as he closes the cooler and sits next to you on another empty chair.

“I didn’t know if I would get a chance to talk to you again,” he says softly.

You look at him for a moment, as he fidgets in discomfort. “Yea, I, uh, had a lot on my mind, but... I wanted to speak to you, as I have questions that need answering,” you say.

“Anything you need to know, I will tell. Something I should have done when we first talked,” he said looking down at the ground.

“Well, first did you tell your sister what happened between us?” you ask.

He looks into your eyes, “I told her there was a misunderstanding and that it was all my fault. He yelled at me for a long time. You were always one of her favorite people, and when I told her you were gone, she knew I messed up,” he says.

“Bucky, why didn’t you come find me and tell me what really happened?” you ask.

Bucky’s eyes widened, “I tried. I did. I went to your friends, your parents, your sister. You had told them all what happened and none of them would tell me where you went. I tried to explain but they wouldn’t believe me. I should have tried harder, but I thought you would never believe me. It’s a lame excuse, but yea,” he said defeated.

“Why didn’t you tell our friends the truth. Even Steve, you left out the real reason Nat was there. Why?” you ask.

He sighs in defeat, “I didn’t feel like it was my place to out her. I know you should have been first priority, and I know I should have either pushed her to tell her or just tell everyone, but I... I didn’t want to be a bigger asshole than I already was. Steve knew it was my fault, and I assumed he told everyone else what he knew since he cannot keep a secret, but I guess I was wrong. I’m--”

“Sorry, yea I know,” you say annoyed. 

Bucky looked down, fighting the tears, “Y/N, if I could go back in time, I would have done things so differently. I hate that I ruined this, and I would do anything to fix it. I still love you more than anything. I.. I want to marry you and have babies with you. Everything we ever planned, I still have planned for you and me. I know you care about Thor, but do you still have any feelings for me?” he asks.

You knew the question was coming. You have avoided it, even with yourself, but now the time has come to face the giant elephant in the room. What were your feelings for Bucky. You looked at the man who you once loved and adored more than anything. You see the sorrow in his features and the anger you have felt toward him lessen.

Tears start filling your eyes as you nod. “Yes,” you whisper, “Yes, I still love you. I think I will always love you, but my anger kept it hidden. I- god I still dream about you Bucky. You were my life! You were my everything!” You say as the tears flow down your cheeks.

Bucky has tears falling also, “Oh Y/N I love you. I love you so much,” he says as he kneels in front of you, cupping your face in his hands.

You continue to cry, releasing all the pain you have held in for 3 years. You wrap your arms around Bucky’s neck and cry openly. Bucky hides his face in yours and does the same. After awhile you both seem to calm down and pull away.

Bucky holds your face and contemplates kissing you, but hesitates. You look from his eyes to his lips, but don’t move. He wipes your tears with his thumbs and caresses your cheeks. You close your eyes and lean into the contact.

“So what does this mean? Are- are you willing to try again?” He asks softly.

You open your eyes to look into his, seeing the worry in them. You know you have to be honest, “Bucky. I love you. But I really need to time to think if I’m still in love with you. I have Thor to consider and he has been amazing over this last year. I-I don’t want to hurt either of you,” you say as rears again fall from your eyes.

Bucky nods and releases you, standing back up to create distance. “I love you more than anything Y/N, but if you choose Thor, I will accept, respect, and honor your decision,” he says.

You stand and pull him into a tight hug. You feel him melt into you. You pull back enough to place your lips on his in a soft kiss, shocking him.

“Thank you. I promise I will make a decision soon,” you say.

Bucky pecks your lips one more time before letting you go. His heart hammers in his chest. The fear of losing you again bring him to point of begging you to stay. He finally got you back. He finally told you the truth.

But was it enough?

--

Part 8 / Part 10

Sorry this is taking too long. I have a feeling I know how I want to end this after writing both conversations, but I’m not 100% sold. I guess we will see. Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940

If you requested to be tagged and you were not, please let me know!

Story Taglist: @jessyballet @vicmc624 @kaleeelizabeth58 @iheartsebandchris @collette04 @mela-noche @supernaturalwintersoldier @winteralpine @katiaw2 @devotedlycrookeddonut @baeconandpancakes @tdbooth @ungratefultroll @diamondnightdreamer @wonderlandfandomkingdom

[littlemisslipbalm]

“I know you, Harry Styles”

Summary: Your boss asks you to quarantine at his house to watch over the place and his dog. He then calls you let you know a friend of his has gotten stuck in Los Angeles and needs a place to stay, so he has offered his friend the home that you are also going to be staying at. His friend is Harry Styles. Harry and you get to know each other while you both navigate through this uncertain time. 

I’ve had this idea for awhile and im sorry if it’s a little late now, since strict quarantine has ended (lowkey might be coming back since california has been getting bad again), but still i really liked this and wanted to write it. Also look at how cute this sidelook from Harry is in this gif ^^ :) his nose is so slopey

It hasn’t been the easiest write so no worries if y’all hate it. I might do a part 2, but def no part 3 this time, unless it gets easier to write. 

Word Count: 4.5k | Warnings: mentions of quarantine and Coronavirus (pls take care if the situation is triggering to you), language, drinking 

Enjoy! (Feedback appreciated as always)

-

You weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t want to break that bliss of him not knowing you knew. “I,” you took a sip of wine, trying to gather a bit more courage, you then laugh meekly, “I, uh, know what you do.”

“Damn…” he said. Harry also took a sip of wine, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the gulp. “I was still debating whether I’d say that I was a musician or an accountant, y’know, something random.” You smiled, Harry was funny, you decided. 

“You’d lie to me?” you said, a hint of flirtation behind your words.

“Oh no, never.”

-

You were living in Los Angeles when the Coronavirus outbreak first arrived in the United States and California went into quarantine. You lived in a pretty small apartment in Silver Lake and you weren’t excited to be cooped in there, alone for at least the two weeks they had just announced. The governor issued that everything would be shut down by morning and you had to admit you were a little stressed. Just as you were about to walk into your apartment and lock the door, ready to shelter in, your boss and friend of yours called.

“Hey Y/N,” David said quickly over the phone, “You know how I’ve just left for England two days ago and I’m already here. Well, since I’m not a U.S. citizen, I can’t come back. Which is fine, but I was just wondering if you’d mind quarantining at my house and just watching over it? Until I can get back?”

You sighed, “Oh my god, David. I’m so sorry.” “The U.S. announced their border closure so strangely, I couldn’t have known...But it’s fine, really, I’m actually kind of happy to be home.” You nodded as if he could see you.

“So do you think you can do it? I’ve been having my neighbor check in on my dog, daily, but I’d prefer a friend to be at the house with him right now.”

“Oh! Yeah of course, I’ll pack a bag and head over right now. I’m honestly relieved you’ve given me this offer. You’re house is fucking huge and my apartment is tiny.” David chuckled at your slow response but happy tone.

You were right, David did have a nice house. His place was up in the Los Angeles Hills, a place he’d inherited from a wealthy grandparent. It was definitely going to be an upgrade for quarantine. David’s place would make it easier to be alone because of his cute little dog around, a swimming pool, a beautiful kitchen, literally anything you could have asked for.  You drove up the long driveway, to the rustic house, David refused to call a classic 70’s mansion as much as you insisted upon it.

“Guess it doesn’t matter what I call it now, huh.” You said to no one. You pulled out your spare key, David had given to you for emergencies when you had started working directly under him. You opened the door and stepped inside to the empty mansion. Checkers, David’s dog came running up to you, pawing your legs and howling his tiny voice at your arrival. You smiled, setting down your bags and grabbing Checkers from the ground. “Hi, baby!” You swung him around and he licked your face adoringly. You ruffled his fur and then placed him back on the ground, he wasn’t more than eleven pounds.

Then you went to find your bedroom. You heard your footsteps echoing throughout the empty house and it definitely felt weird. Being alone, in this big house. You wondered why you had to keep convincing yourself it was so great. Then your phone rang for the second time today. David again. You threw your bags at the foot of the guest bed and walked back through the house to the main room adjoined to the kitchen, near the front door.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Y/N, thanks for picking up! And thank you for agreeing to watch the house -”

“Yeah, of course, I’m just settling in.”

“That’s great! But, I hope you don’t mind, a friend of mine has similar luck to me. He was just supposed to be in Los Angeles for a couple days, but he’s gotten stranded there and has nowhere else to go. He’s a good friend of mine and the house is most definitely big enough for two…” He trailed off, slightly anxious to put you out, when you had already been generous enough to leave the comfort of your own place during this stressful time. “So, I told him he could stay at mine, if he didn’t mind living with a stranger.”

“I’m the stranger?” You asked, slightly confused from what David was saying.

“Yeah, yeah I mean, I told him you were a friend and that you worked with me, obviously.” You laughed with some relief, “Ok, I’ve got you. That’s fine, more than fine, he’s got nowhere to go, it’d be rude of me to say no to him joining me in this mansion,” You got a little excited and emphasized the mansion.

David groaned, but finished, “Well, great! Because I’m pretty sure he’s already on his way. Bye!” The line went dead.

You wouldn’t say you were unhappy that you were going to be sharing the house. The loneliness of the empty house had grown daunting the minute you heard your footsteps. But you realized David hadn’t even given you the name of the man you were going to be living with for supposedly the next two weeks. As well, what if you and the man didn’t get along and were at each other’s throats for two weeks.

You shook the thoughts from your mind, trying not to make any presumptions. Then, you began to put away the groceries you had brought with you from your apartment and refilled Checkers’ water bowl.

Maybe twenty minutes after your phone call with David, informing you of your quarantine housemate, the doorbell rang and you jogged lazily to the foyer with the grand front door.

In front of you stood, a man with mop of dark brown hair on his head, some large green eyes, a nice outfit, and an array of tattoos peeking out from under different parts of his clothing. Wait- you thought - this isn’t some random tall, good-looking white guy. And then it dawned on you. David would be close friends with Harry Styles. This is so typical of that man. And for him to never tell you that before. That is especially David, trying to keep this guy all to himself.

“Hi, I’m David’s friend, he said he’d call ahead and let you know, I’m ‘Arry,” he rested one of his bags on the ground and reached out to shake your hand. You blinked your eyes, still a little surprised at who your roommate was going to be, but determined to be chill about it. You then reached out your hand to meet his. You took note of the largeness of his hands and how soft they were. His hand slid perfectly in yours and his eyes intensely gazed at you in the hallway.

“Yeah, he called, I’m Y/N.” You released his hand after realizing you still had hold of it, just a touch too long. You stepped aside to let Harry bring his things into the house. “Do you need any help with your bags?” You asked quickly, not wanting to seem rude. Harry turned to you as he had just stepped into the house and was exactly beside you, he quirked his head, “Oh no, I’m alright, no need to worry about me.”

“Okay,” you simply responded and walked back into the kitchen. You had left your phone in there and still had some things to organize, David didn’t keep his house as clean or organized as you liked it. You always set to work around his house whenever you came by, no matter his protests. Music was playing from your phone over the bluetooth speakers David had in the house, a mix of random songs for the month that you had compiled a couple weeks ago. It was a mix of your favorite artists: oldies and some newer stuff. You turned it up as you got to work.

Your music played loud enough that you didn’t hear Harry walk into the kitchen. “Hey,” he said. Startled, you flipped yourself to face him, discarding the box of cereal you were moving to be with the other cereals.

“What’s up?”

“I know we don’t know each other,” Harry started. You weren’t exactly sure where he was going with this. “And I’m fine if you don’t want to really interact, but I was actually kind of excited to find out that I wasn’t going to have to be all alone in this house for two weeks.”

Your lips quirked up in about a half smile as a soft chuckle came out. You rested back on the countertop behind you, feeling more relaxed at the rest of Harry’s statement. Harry stared at your figure still taking in the stranger in front of him. You seemed fairly laid back and he liked the music he heard from the speakers, assuming it was your selection.

“Oh. Yeah,” you began, scratching your head, “I know, I was excited to not have to be in my apartment, but then when I got here I got lowkey scared of being here with just myself and Checkers.”

“Wait, Checkers is here?” Harry’s mood and tone immediately picked up, looking excitedly around for the little dog. “I think he’s outside,” you said, crossing to one of the many back doors. You called for David’s dog, you and Harry’s third roommate, and he came leaping through the door.

He ran to Harry and Harry knelt to grab the dog and pick him back up. He twirled Checkers around over his head and kept repeating “Who’s a good boy” before placing the dog on one of the couches. On the couch, Harry playfully flipped the dog on his back and scratched his belly. Checkers wiggled and opened his mouth trying to nip playfully at Harry. Harry in turn put his head right near Checkers’ and shook his own fluffy hair in the dog’s face. Checkers went wild, loving the attention he was receiving.

After a bit, Harry let Checkers go and stood up, you had been watching on amusedly, “God, I love this dog, so fucking cute,” he said. You were surprised Harry knew David well enough to know his dog, but you dismissed it. Then, you laughed and agreed with him.

“Well, do you want to get to know each other over dinner tonight?” Harry inquired as you walked back into the kitchen, still trying to finish your self-given task of cleaning it up. “Sure, why not?”

-

It was the dinner time you and Harry had agreed upon. You had showered and unpacked over the past few hours. Harry, from what you knew, had done the same. You two hadn’t talked much more since he had suggested the dinner. The guest room he had chosen was on the second floor, like yours, just down the hall. After checking the time on your phone, you left your room and went downstairs. You found Harry on the couch with Checkers, reading a book. You tapped his shoulder from behind the couch and he turned his head to look up at you. “We said 7, right?” He snapped his book shut after raising her brows, coming out of a reading trance. “Oh, yeah,” he responded, rising from his seat and heading to the kitchen. You followed after him, “So what do you want to eat. I brought some groceries with me so we could cook something or there’s always take out.”

Harry opened the fridge, “Let’s make something, yeah?” He leaned back from the inside of the fridge and threw a smile to you over his shoulder. He was very confident and charismatic in person you had noticed just from the few odd moments you had spent with him already. You liked his music and felt like you should tell him you knew who he was, but you also liked the feeling you got that you were just two normal people living together for a little.

“Alright,” you began, walking to his side to look into the fridge as well, “Any requests, Harry?”

You looked up at his face, he was quite tall, taller than you had really thought. He was a really big figure up close, slightly intimidating if you were being honest. He simply demanded attention just with his presence, something strong emanating from him. You could see that strength in the lines of his jaw, lined in stubble, his green eyes set deeper in his head, the sinews in his neck. In every part of his body, there was strength, yet he spoke with a kindness about him. You were extremely interested in getting to know more about him, for this very reason. How could such a big, intimidating man in size and presence be known for being so kindhearted and in touch with himself and the world? What was his secret?

Harry simply began to remove various items from the fridge, placing them down on the island behind the two of you. He only said in response to your previous question, “Like Mexican?” You nodded and laughed, you’d grown up on Mexican food.

“I was thinking fajitas would be good, what do you think?”

“Yeah, absolutely, how can I help?”

Harry grinned at your attitude, he could tell you were the really fun, easy-going type of person. He was glad you weren’t being weird with him, even if he was a stranger. He finished taking the ingredients from the fridge and then gave you instructions on what he needed help with. The two of you set to work, this time it was Harry’s music playing over the speakers.

-

You sat at the dining table in the next room over from the kitchen and seating area. Harry had told you to go ahead as he finished your plates of food. Moments later, he walked into the room holding the plates. “Ta-da!” He exclaimed while presenting the two plates of food, that looked admittedly, very tasty.

He had changed his outfit from earlier and you were just now noticing. Earlier, it had been a striped dress shirt that he had dressed down with rolled up sleeves and half of the buttons undone, revealing a nice string of pearls, with navy high waisted trousers that cinched at his slender waist. Now, he was in a simple purple knit sweater and brown corduroy flares, still wearing the pearls around his neck. Neither of you were wearing shoes, both wearing only socks. And while Harry might consider that to be a more casual outfit, you were in leggings and a hoodie with a sun on it that you had thrifted awhile ago.

He sat down across from you after placing one plate on the placemat in front of you. The dining table was huge, meant for dinner parties and entertaining, not a traveler and a young employee. You took a bite and hummed in appreciation, but then said, “Wait.”

Harry stopped eating and looked at you, concerned there was something wrong with his cooking. “Red wine,” you stated. Harry’s worried face grew into a grin. “Red wine,” he echoed in agreement and nodded his head. You hopped up from your seat and ran into the kitchen, looking for the cabinet David kept his wine in.

After finding a reasonable Malbec, a favorite red of yours, you grabbed an opener, two glasses, and went back into the dining room where the munching Harry awaited. He was happily chewing his food as he gazed at you as you placed the glasses between your plates, uncorked the bottle with ease, and grabbed the glasses once more to pour the wine.

Finally, you sat down and said, “To whatever the fuck we are about to get ourselves into.” Harry laughed and offered a “Salud” in response. The two of your glasses clinked and you both drank, afterwards setting off to eat your food.

As you ate, you began to talk. Harry started, “So, you work with David?” while taking his fork and stabbing at a cooked bell pepper slice. You finished chewing, “Ah, yeah, he’s my boss. But we work pretty closely, I’m kind of like a personal assistant, but I do more than just his scheduling and errands.” Harry nods.

You weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t want to break that bliss of him not knowing you knew. “I,” you took a sip of wine, trying to gather a bit more courage, you then laugh meekly, “I, uh, know what you do.”

“Damn…” he said. Harry also took a sip of wine, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the gulp. “I was still debating whether I’d say that I was a musician or an accountant, y’know, something random.” You smiled, Harry was funny, you decided. “You’d lie to me?” you said, a hint of flirtation behind your words.

“Oh no, never. I would’ve definitely just told you who I was if you didn’t know, but it’s nice to pretend for a little.” He grinned as he said the words, his elbow resting on the table with his wine glass in hand. You ate some more, letting his words linger in the air. It’s nice to pretend for a little.

“Well,” you finally said, “I won’t give you any special treatment, if that’s what you’re implying. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just a guy staying at the same house as me. Doesn’t matter to me what you do to pay your bills.”

Harry liked that. You were very intriguing, the way you spoke to him. Especially now that he was sure that you knew about his music and celebrity. “You make it sound like I’m a sex worker or something naughty!” he said, feeling more comfortable with you with the more time that passed and the more wine he had.

“It’s kind of the same thing...providing a service - that your body is an essential part of providing it properly.” You stated smugly, looking over at Harry from behind the rim of your glass. “And there’s nothing wrong with sex workers,” you added.

“You’re right,” he stopped, wanting to continue the conversation, but confused how to move on from sex workers. “So what do you think of my music?”

“I thought you wanted to be treated like you weren’t a celebrity,” you countered.

“That’s out the window, c’mon,” he said, leaning forward.

“You just want me to boost your ego,” you smirked, liking the banter that was coming so easily between you two, “Like I said, I know you, Harry Styles.”

He scoffed at your teasing and rolled his eyes. He wasn’t actually annoyed, he was enjoying this. “Then you’re a fan, huh?” Not letting it go without you saying how you felt about his music.

“Fine,” you sang slightly, shifting in your seat. “Your music,” you paused again, enjoying Harry eager to hear your opinion and you being in control, “is better than a lot of other modern stuff considered good by today’s standards.”

“So you like it?” He said slowly. That was probably the most roundabout, vague compliment he had ever heard. He picked at his almost empty plate, still staring at you.

You tilted your head and placed it on your palm, looking to the sky as if you were thinking about his question hard. Finally, you shifted your head in your palm so you were looking at Harry wearily. Then you shut one eye and said, “I guess,” before shrugging your shoulders as if you didn’t care at all. Harry let a single blow of air out of his nose, like a short laugh, before standing and taking both of your plates. As he walked out of the room he whistled lowly, “You are such a tease, Y/N.”

He disappeared into the kitchen and you heard him cleaning up. You were about to call out to him and say how he didn’t have to do the cleaning since he did the majority of the cooking, but then your eyes fell to the half drunk bottle of wine. Normally, you’d re-cork it and drink the rest at a later date, but it was still early in the evening and you and Harry literally had nowhere to go. Also, the two of you hadn’t gotten past the work question of getting to know you. There was still a bit more to learn about each other and you were happy to continue to discuss over wine.

Harry reemerged from the kitchen and you held up the wine bottle to him and waved it, “We need to finish this.”

“Have I told you yet that I like the way you think?” Harry walked over and grabbed the bottle from your hand. He quickly poured both your glasses much fuller than the usual standard glass of wine. When you eyed him curiously about the heavy pour, he only shrugged practically saying it’s just us drinking it who cares if we fill up our glasses extra full.

“No you haven’t, but I like the way I think too! I’m very smart you know,” you said with some play in your voice as you walked through a doorway that led to the sitting room. Harry trailed behind, bringing the now less than full bottle with him. You both sat yourselves on the couch, a fair amount of space between the two of you, not too close, but not too far apart either.

You both took long gulps of the wine. You were starting to feel a little warm from it, but you enjoyed where the wine was taking your conversation so you weren’t planning on stopping. Harry’s big green eyes squinted slightly at you from behind his wine glass, similar to how you had done earlier. He lowered it and licked his lips. There was definite tension between the two of you right now. Maybe you both had realized the implications of being alone with a stranger for two weeks with no interruptions and no distractions. Whatever it was, it was intoxicating because all you wanted to do was keep teasing Harry and have him keep baiting you.

Harry asked a question suddenly, breaking the silent staring that had been going on. And the tension was broken the two of you continuing your getting to know you for the rest of the night. By eleven, the bottle was empty and forgotten on the coffee table and you and Harry had scooted closer. You had similar likes and dislikes when it came to music. You talked about fashion and what it was like to get to wear top designers all the time - Harry being the wearer, not you sadly. You asked him what it was like to tour and he asked you more about your job and living in Los Angeles, how it was to not walk around the place and be bombarded with people. Then, you circled back to travel.

“I’ve been lucky enough to travel a lot in my life, too. I traveled with my family as a kid and I made sure my job would have me traveling around, too.”

“Oh, yeah?” Harry took the last sip of his wine and set the glass down, readjusting himself to lean on his arm on the couch, looking at you.

“Was supposed to be with David in England, actually, but I got held up and was going to join him next week,” you mused, finishing your wine as well and leaning your body so your back was fully against the back cushion.

“No way, I was supposed to leave next week, too. Who knows, maybe we would have been on the same plane and crossed paths like that without even knowing,” Harry said excitedly.

You rolled your head to the right and looked at his face, how it had lit up at that unlikely prospect. “You probably wouldn’t have known, but I’m sure I would’ve been able to tell, probably have a whole crowd of fans there waiting for you, end up having to delay the plane for ya’. And I’d be sitting there like ‘which famous prick is holding us up?”

“Oi!” he swatted at your leg closest to him, “Has anyone told you you’re a bit mean.”

You raised your brows at his physical contact and his words. You shifted to your side again and slid your legs beneath you, looking directly at Harry. “Yes,” you said seriously.

Harry laughed at that. At least you were honest, and you were funny, too. You joined his laughter, it felt contagious, the way his voice was so loud, but so jovial. His eyes managed to twinkle even as he squinted, his smile taking over his entire face.

Without either of you noticing, the two of you had shifted extremely close to one another. You finally realized because you felt Harry’s breath fanning over your face. His breath smelled of Malbec, but his over scent mixed with it and turned it into something enticing. You wanted to lean in more, but the only place further to go was his lips.

Harry’s eyes flickered to meet yours, confused yet delighted about the situation he had somehow gotten himself in. The two of you breathing in each other, chests heaving from laughter, hearts beating from wine, and bodies ready to ignite the minute they touched. You remained there for a few moments more, basking in his glow.

And then you whispered, “I should go to bed.” You pulled away and retreated upstairs to your room. Harry was left there, sitting stunned at the whole situation. How had that happened? And what had you just stopped from happening?  You were thinking the very same things as you sat down on your bed and calmed your breathing.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

-

Part 2

taglist: @cronias13, @theresthingsthatwellneverknow, @harrys-cherrry, 

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo

↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 

↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |

u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship

ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already

u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳

slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one

“holy fuck—“

“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down

his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you

“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom

the first few months were amazing

ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it

changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born

u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day

u two r such bullies yall r like

“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”

n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”

he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)

cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed

(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)

he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand

he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump

nursery is already done at five months

he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg

they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud

yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened

but something changes within u

changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month

ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night

u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(

u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺

he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to

sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep

he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore

“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror

ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom

“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”

ur s h oo k

he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone

“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him

u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep

“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”

hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it

u start crying

hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺

he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together

perinatal depression, they diagnosed u

changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u

everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier

he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself

hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident

the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens

he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺

he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles

this man is a father already it seems

he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things

cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.

he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying

“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still

he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<

also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys

u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one

u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines

u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted

u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction

the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(

rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby

u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them

he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺

yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)

“i just want to go home.” :(

u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder

he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain

his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him

“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”

u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing

u reach 10cm!!!

now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/

u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging

“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”

ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold

u both were worried about how much u could take

u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute

the labor progressed n there it was

“a girl!”

u two are like faucets or waterfalls

shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺

he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time

u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect

he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie

her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy

her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks

i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname

he’ll just be like

“oh that’s my bunny!!”

weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair

he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl

“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”

omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 

u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.