#i worked 10 hours (booooo) i still have 5 1/2 days of 24 hour on call left (boooooooo)

[runwayblues]

it’s 67°!! i took my trash out!! i have a load of laundry going!! i got a smoothie!!

[harriet-tuttle]

Highlights from Mark Watches Death Note

Episode 1

Ryuk is… well, he could be on a friendly baking show, and I’d still be terrified of him. HE LOOKS LIKE WHAT I THINK ALL CLOWNS LOOK LIKE: ENDLESSLY FRIGHTENING.

Episode 2

I mean, word of advice, Light: stop acting like an arrogant teenager who discovered Ayn Rand or something. FREE ADVICE FOR YOU, DUDE.

Episode 3

Watari stands by the laptop that’s connected to L, which has to be the most boring job imaginable.

Episode 4

He stops viewing these people as humans and instead seems them entirely as pawns. They’re good for nothing more than his goal: to rid the world of all criminals and create a utopia. What utopia that might be is left unsaid, not because the show is trying to hide it from us, but because Light probably hasn’t even decided what it’s going to be.

Seriously, Light is the worst. (That is an odd sentence to type. Makes it sound like I hate electricity or something.)

Episode 5

Initially, I was convinced that he just wanted to misdirect Penber. That was easy to do, and after Penber got off the bus, I figured that was it.

But no.

Nope.

NOT AT ALL.

Episode 6

L ACTUALLY SMILED. (That was my single favorite moment in the whole episode.)

Episode 7

When we’re not focusing on how Light is THE LITERAL WORST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE, Death Note gives us more of the relationship between L and the police officers who have won his trust.

Episode 8

So how will the future of this anime look? I don’t think you can sustain this kind of back-and-forth for nearly thirty episodes, especially since Death Note is already barreling forward as it is. Will Light slip up and reveal something about himself to L? Is there a third party I haven’t met yet that will mess things up? And what of the very strange subplot involving Ryuk’s withdrawal from apples? Was that there to drop a hint about the shinigami, or was it weird just for the sake of it? (I realize I’m asking for background information on a floating reaper who looks like a clown, so… whatever.)

Episode 9

I honestly thought that L and Light wouldn’t meet until well past the halfway mark because… well, that’s why all the tension existed! Neither of them were ever in the same physical space, and they were exacting a war against each other from a distance.

That’s why L’s actions are so fucking flagrant and brilliant. No one expected this. Not me, not Light, PROBABLY NOT ANY OF YOU.

Episode 10

Even if he has Light investigate himself, it only means that he’ll eventually lead them straight to him anyway. It’ll happen either through his fantastic deductive work, or Light will give away something to the team. But does that mean that L will have to introduce Light to the other officers on the task force? That seems like a bad idea

Episode 11

Somehow, Kira had killed Ukita without knowing his real name. Understandably, EVERYONE FREAKS OUT. THAT INCLUDED ME. How? How had Light been able to do this while standing in his bedroom? He couldn’t have possibly known who would show up to the police station. But let’s say he did. “Assault” takes things a step further when Light’s father drives a bus into the station. Will Light risk killing him if he discovers who drove the bus? Oh, but let’s take this a step further: two random cops who show up to deal with the police bus that sits in the lobby ARE KILLED. There is a 0% chance that Light knew their names, so how? HOW???

Episode 12

There’s so much going on in this episode that I was positive the show would cut away right before Second Kira’s shinigami revealed how to kill him. Why would they reveal something this huge so early into the show? Because Death Note doesn’t give a shit about me, and I was shocked to watch an extended flashback sequence play out.

Episode 13

In the thirteenth episode of Death Note, I will repeat myself endlessly while reviewing this: HOW DOES IT KEEP ESCALATING.

I just have to expect this show to throw me into an abyss every episode. I just have to do this to survive.

Episode 14

At the very least, I don’t think Misa will last much longer because she’s too much of a risk to Light. IT’S GONNA HAPPEN, I’M CALLING IT.

Episode 15

I get that catching Kira is a big deal for all of these people, and I’m happy that they all believe that Kira’s murders are 100% wrong. Does that mean they should be allowed to do something like this to a teenage girl??? No, not at all!!! It’s horrifying! Did they feed her? Anything???

Episode 16

NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS SHOW IS ABOUT. WHAT THE FUCK.

Episode 17

As for Light? Well, he’s now handcuffed to L. FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY. (Major BOOOOO to that weird-ass line where Misa calls them gross because boys shouldn’t be handcuffed together? Yuck.)

[N.B.: This is the first and only remark by Mark Oshiro, Gayest Reviewer on Planet Earth, that in any way acknowledges subtext between Light and L. Behold the glory of this non-barking dog, my psychotic fandom.]

Episode 18

At this point, does L even suspect anyone else aside from Light and Misa? No, not really, even when he guesses (correctly!) that Kira’s “power” can jump from one person to the next. I don’t think L will ever take his eye off of Light for the remainder of the show.

Episode 19

In the nineteenth episode of Death Note, I really loved this, and MATSUDA IS GREAT.

Episode 20

Yet this is where the main schism happens. L, unsurprisingly, wants to follow the option that allows his theories to be proven. That’s who he is. He’s nearly as averse to being impulsive as Light, so he doesn’t want to move ahead with an arrest UNLESS he can prove every bit of his hypothesis. In this case, that means letting people die, despite knowing that these men are going to use Kira to kill them. There is a tragic irony in the fact that Light finds this plan abhorrent because DUDE, YOU HAVE KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS DAMN SHOW.

Episode 21

However, then she stated that she wanted to do something to get even closer to Light and impress him.

HOW WAS A DATE WITH HIGUCHI GOING TO HELP HER DO THAT? Oh, Mark, YOU DON’T GET IT.  Look, the very nature of Death Note means I’m always going to act like a fool whenever someone tells the truth.

Episode 22

Look, I kept thinking that EVERYTHING was going to go wrong. When Light called the Yotsuba men, I was certain they’d spoil the plan. Then I thought that Higuchi wouldn’t actually go through with murdering Matsuda. And then, as each piece fell into place, the tension got worse because WHAT IF HE ACTUALLY REVEALS HOW HE KILLS? How is Misa going to react to that?

Episode 23

How the hell are there fourteen more episodes??? HOW???

Episode 24

I’m so nervous about this development, though, because it allows Light to be completely free of the investigative team. Oh, sure, he’ll probably stick around so he can monitor everything, keep these people from getting close to him, but now? He’s won, hasn’t he? At least for the time being. However, there are now a bunch of variables and chaotic factors just sitting around. All these detectives and cops and investigators all know the truth of the Death Note. (Well, except that Light lied about one of the rules that governs the notebook. HE IS SO EVIL, Y’ALL.) How are they going to approach this case knowing the truth? I bet that Light will start killing criminals in the next episode, and I don’t know how this will progress from there. Don’t they all know way too much? Can’t they use the knowledge they have of the Death Note to be better detectives? How many red herrings will Light give them to keep them busy?

I am comfortable stating that something like that can’t last forever. Something will have to come crashing down. What could that be???

Episode 25

What the hell is wrong with this show.

Episode 26

Y’all, Death Note doesn’t even fuck around when it comes to CLIP EPISODES.

Episode 27

WELL, THIS IS HOW THERE ARE MORE EPISODES OF THIS SHOW. THE DEATH NOTE IS INTERNATIONAL NOW, AND LIGHT IS GONNA GET FUCKED UP. Episode 28

The elaborate, complicated, and utterly ridiculous means that Mello and his men go to in order to obtain the Death Note is significant because, as I said before, no one had been able to truly best Light. Ever. Ever. L tried, and LOOK WHERE THAT GOT HIM. (I miss him.) But Mello comes out of nowhere, concocts a truly absurd method to get what he wants, and executes it flawlessly. Seriously, let’s go over this. He:

orchestrates the quietest hijacking of an airplane ever, all so that it can land somewhere in the middle of the desert in America and then continue on to its final destination of Los Angeles. (Can you imagine how fucking terrifying that must have been if you were on that plane? IT LANDED IN THE DESERT!!!! Good lord, they’re probably all traumatized now.)

is fully aware that Soichiro will be monitored by satellite, so the entire swap is UNDERGROUND IN A SECRET BUNKER THAT SOME GANG OR MAFIA ONCE USED.

has his man utilize a revolving door that is so deviously brilliant that I can’t even believe a human thought of it.

has that same man making the trade test out the Death Note before accepting it

then has two separate “vehicles” leave the compound at the same time so that those surveilling him don’t know which one has the Death Note on it.

makes one of the vehicles a missile. I cannot even remotely exaggerate here, y’all. A missile. A MISSILE.

I THOUGHT LIGHT WAS RIDICULOUS AND OVERLY-DETAILED ABOUT HIS PLANS, BUT HE HAS CLEARLY MET HIS MATCH.

Episode 29

(Does that mean he gave up half his life AND HE ONLY HAD A FEW HOURS LEFT ANYWAY? Good god.)

Episode 30

In order to subvert what Near is doing, he turns the President against the SPK and has him PUBLICLY DECLARE THAT THE U.S. WILL NOT PURSUE KIRA. He knows that everyone is afraid of him, so the threat against the President’s life is easy. It’s a no-brainer. But when Near gets a little too close to the truth, Light takes matters a step further, unleashing Demegawa’s dogma as a weapon. He stokes the flames of anger and resentment, and he lets this man loose on the airwaves, and A GIANT CROWD OF PEOPLE ARE BREAKING INTO SPK HEADQUARTERS TO OSTENSIBLY MURDER EVERYONE THERE AND HOW IS THIS A MORAL, PEACEFUL WORLD, LIGHT? PLEASE ANSWER THAT.

Episode 31

But how? How does Light slip up so terribly after meticulously constructing this entire existence meant to protect him?

I think the answer to that can be found in the way that Near behaves. It’s so much clearer now that Near is NOTHING like L, and his brash, aggressive manner speaks to that. I believe Light composed his master manipulation with L in mind. There was a code of sorts that L followed. Near, however, doesn’t give a shit. He really doesn’t.

Episode 32

WELL. I said that I wasn’t sure why Mikami had been introduced to us so suddenly and without a real sense for who he is, AND THUS, I GOT THIS EPISODE.

Episode 33

She then requests five pages of the Death Note and tells him to continue killing people with a “fake” notebook. Which makes no sense to me! How can Mikami kill anyone if his notebook is fake? Perhaps I misunderstood this, and Mikami scheduled out deaths in order to cover himself. But what did he do with the real Death Note? Hide it? Give it back to Light? Of course, all of this is useless to talk about if Mikami didn’t actually do as he was told. HOW THE FUCK DID MIKAMI KILL THAT MAN ON THE TRAIN? How?????? I DON’T GET IT.

Episode 34

Credit for that goes to Gevanni, who was given one of the most difficult tasks on the whole team. Surveilling Mikami had been bad enough, but he’s asked to break into the man’s locker at the gym and touch the Death Note. IT’S SO TERRIFYINGLY RISKY, ISN’T IT. Yes, it’ll give him the power to see a shinigami, but Ryuk could be RIGHT THERE. Watching him. READY TO WARN MIKAMI ABOUT HOW CLOSE THE SPK ARE.

Bless that man’s heart. That whole sequence was terrifying.

Episode 35

I’m still struggling to understand why he did it. Why kidnap Takada? If his goal was to catch Kira before Near did, then I suppose he was trying to draw Kira out by kidnapping someone associated with him. As Kira’s spokesperson, Takada was the only person that Mello had access to who could make this goal of his a reality.

Lord, does he underestimate EVERYTHING, though. Kidnapping a high-profile media personality was bad enough. Did he think no one would follow him or figure out a way to locate Takada? However, it’s Takada’s resourcefulness that ends up taking Mello down. I still don’t know how this fits in with Light’s plan for Mikami. Does he have a fake Death Note or not? We do see what Takada does with one of the pages that Mikami gave her, but I’m also a little confused by that, too. As far as I understood it, Light genuinely did not expect her to have that page, nor did he think she would use the Death Note to kill anyone if she was ever captured. Indeed, that’s part of the conversation that they have over the phone near the end of the episode. Light refers to a vague “plan” that he had discussed with Takada about what should happen if she were captured. Which was???? We don’t ever find out because she made her own choice.

Episode 36

The show drags this moment out to an impossible length, and even if it’s seriously unbelievable (WAY MORE THAN THIRTY SECONDS PASSED, COME ON), it’s compelling and nerve-wracking. This is it. There’s no leaving that room unless one side wins. You know, Death Note has been fairly cynical along the way, so if it ends with Light’s victory, I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised. But I want Near to reveal that he knew this would happen because… well, I want to see Light pay for what he’s done. I want to see him fall from his unnatural height because he’s played with human lives as if they are nothing more than pieces of garbage to be discarded as he saw fit.

I want Near to bring justice to this world because Light has no idea what justice is.

Episode 37

I found it incredibly powerful that after thirty-six episodes of this man proudly and defiantly claiming that he was at the head of a moral mission to protect the world from evil, Near called him a murderer. IT IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST SINGLE EXCHANGE IN THE ENTIRE EPISODE, PERHAPS THE WHOLE SERIES. In just a few sentences, Near obliterated Light’s logic. He called him a serial killer and a murderer and refused to accept a single shred of this man’s terrible logic. I LOVE IT SO MUCH, EVERYONE. I think it’s a perfect lead-in to what comes next: Matsuda’s reaction. After Near so brilliantly dissected what was wrong with Light, I believe that Matsuda broke. And honestly, I don’t think there was a better choice of a character to finally go up against Light and to fatally harm him. Look at his transformation! He went from the goofy, underused investigator to the man who wanted desperately to be seen, to be respected. Then, as L was killed and Kira became an undeniable part of the world, he turned into a fanboy. He began to support the idea of Kira, perhaps not totally, but enough to be entertained by the drama that unfolded around him. He couldn’t take the case seriously because… well, did anyone take it seriously?

So when he found out that he’d been played, that the killer they’d been searching for the whole time was right next to him, he snapped. This story belonged to Matsuda, and it’s about the best closure I could ask for.

This was a fun journey, y’all, and now I know why people had been recommending me this show for so many years. I UNDERSTAND.