#i wont tag the other characters just bc theyre barely mentioned and i dont want to flood the tags ;-;

[kirboner]

The Curse of the Blood God

TW: Gore/blood descriptions, attempted suicide mentioned, major character death, swearing (not much).

WORD COUNT: 2,738

This is a mainly c!Technoblade centric along with c!Philza, other DSMP characters are also mentioned :] (if there are any tags I missed please tell me!)

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Growing up, Technoblade was always surrounded by violence. With violence came death, so the concept of it was never unfamiliar to him. Never jarring, never shocking. It happens to those who are too weak to keep fighting, who make stupid decisions or let their guard down. It happens to those who lose, and Technoblade never loses. 

Technoblade never dies.

So, when the tip of his blade pierces through an enemy’s throat, or when their blood spurts against the snow, and they collapse in a heap against the frost- Techno feels nothing. Partially because he doesn’t know them, but mostly because they made a stupid decision and they lost. They challenged The Blade. The Blood God. To Techno, losing a life is like losing a game, a challenge, a bet. 

The L’Manburgians that suffered once he spawned the Wither let their guards’ down. The Butcher Army by challenging him had made a stupid decision, and those he challenged and triumphed against were weak. So, they lost a life, or a few.

Maybe that’s why betrayal hurts him so deeply, why the feeling aches in his very core. Someone has to be close to him to betray him, he has to put his trust in them, he has to care about them. For someone to then betray him, to betray The Blade, is a stupid decision on their behalf. However, that’s not the half of why it hurts so much, why the feeling stings and burns and engulfs him. It’s because he made the stupid decision to put his trust in someone traitorous. Yet, regardless of his stupid decisions,

Technoblade never dies.

Techno has few constants in his life, so he tends to gravitate to those he can control. Roasted potatoes and gapples, a royal gown he stole a long time ago that he wears as under-armor, a golden crown. Small things, items he carries with him as he flees location. However, one other thing remains a constant in his life, something he can’t pack in a suitcase or strap to his back- and that’s Phil. 

His memories of his life growing up in the Nether are a mix of vivid snippets and utter vagueness that he’s had to piece together through whisper and rumour. He remembers fighting with other Piglin half-breeds in The Pit, uncomfortable nights spent unslept on hard nether rack, fractures and purple bruises left blotched across his torso. Gashes that reopened, scabs that refused to heal. The jeering and hissing crowd that surrounded him, as he was forced to rip apart his opponents; orphans just like himself. Losing their parents was the worst thing that ever happened to them, Technoblade being a close second. He could recall the *clink* of golden nuggets pooling at his feet, quickly soaked in the ever-growing pool of his opponent’s blood- this time a larger Piglin boy who laid face down, iron pickaxe lodged firmly in his spine. The crowd cheering his victories and spurring him on. Shrieking for more.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD--

How he left- or rather escaped- the Nether falls into the latter category of utter vagueness. Phil had told him he came across The Pit when trading rare spider eyes on the black market, as he heard the value was higher in the Nether due to the specific spiders only existing in the Overworld. However, upon discovering The Pit he had, in his words, “gotten into a bit of a domestic over it with the ringleader,” which Techno suspected to be an understatement. Phil, apparently, had “completely non-violently, and totally consensually” taken himself and the other half-breeds to the Overworld. Techno, again, believed this to be a massive understatement, as Phil and himself to this day could not enter the Nether without a fight of some kind. 

‘So, what ever happened to the other orphans?’ He asked, throwing a match on their fireplace. Living in a Tundra, while isolated and peaceful, required near constant temperature adjustment.

‘I spent a while rehousing them all across the Overworld, it took around two months to actually find homes for all of ‘em,’ Phil shifted more firewood closer to the hearth. A spruce log, dark and dense. Techno shifted in place, ‘Uh, what about me?’ He wanted to elaborate more on the question, rather than sound like a small child, but didn’t. Phil chuckled, ‘You were different, Techno,’ to this Techno quirked an eyebrow, ‘Different?’ He probed.

‘Well, let’s see... I did try a couple times to find you a family, y’know?’ Techno frowned, ‘Not because I didn’t like you, but because I was worried about you. I have a pretty dangerous line of work, and I thought you deserved a bit of a more stable life,’ Phil sighed. A beat of silence followed ‘So how well did that plan turn out?’ Techno asked sarcastically, earning a chuckle from Phil. His confidence rebuilt slightly. ‘I wanted you to have a constant in your life, but I also didn’t want you to be unsafe,’ Phil looked at the hearth, crackling quietly. ‘The more time I spent with you, I realized you already had a constant, Techno,’ He looked at the kindling, long charred and crumbling to ash. ‘Violence,’ Phil breathed, barely above a whisper. ‘You needed more than just violence in your life Techno- and trust me, I know I’m not always the best example- but I wanted to be that constant’ Phil continued, ‘And I’m glad I made that decision,’ he smiled.

A silence stretched for a moment, a tight feeling developing in Techno’s chest. He got this feeling whenever Phil said something particularly sappy, though the tightness was never painful. It was a pleasant feeling. It was kind. ‘Even if it means you can’t trade spider eyes on the black market anymore?’ Techno deadpanned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. ‘Oh trust me, the market value for spider eyes has plummeted since the ‘90s, I was just trying to cut my losses,’ Phil smirked, leaning back on his hands. Techno rolled his eyes, ‘Christ you’re old, man,’ he said fondly.

A constant. Phil was a constant. He had been there to mend his tattered gown, tend to his wounds (now shallower, and fewer and further between). He had fought alongside him, brothers in arms, working together in the fight against tyranny. Phil was a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield, rightfully earning the title as The Angel of Death. 

‘Who first started givin’ you that name, anyway?’ Techno asked, swinging his axe down and splitting a spruce log down the middle, watching it splinter and fall in two smaller heaps. The chill of dawn was warmed little by the sun peaking over the horizon, a reminder of the Autumn season soon to come. ‘What name?’ Phil looked at him, confused before shoveling another mound of snow to make room for their new vegetable patch installment. ‘I know you well, mate, but I’m not a mind reader,’ he chuckled. ‘The Angel of Death- who first started callin’ you that?’ Techno elaborated. Phil heaved another shovel-full, ‘God, it’s been a while since someone’s called me that. I reckon it started way back, before the Antarctic Empire,’ he paused for a moment, his shoulders tense. ‘I remember when I was little, I had a pet bird and I used to let it sleep in my bed,’ Eyes downcast, the air seemed to grow chillier. ‘It was the night before my 6th birthday, and I had a dream that I was standing in a cave, the walls covered in this weird writing I couldn’t read and... I could hear a voice whispering to me, but there was no one there,’ Techno heard him suck in a breath before continuing, ‘It said: you are the angel of the men befallen to you, you are the choice you will wish to unchoose. An unvindicated angel, an angel of death.’ 

Techno’s axe was frozen in place, feeling significantly heavier than before. ‘The bird was dead when I woke up,’ Phil swallowed thickly, before plunging his shovel back into the slush. ‘That’s, uh... heavy stuff, Phil,’ Techno shifted uncomfortably. ‘Well, it was a long time ago now, I don’t really think about it much. It is a bit weird how people started calling me that a while afterwards, though,’ Phil chuckled dryly. Techno blinked, deciding to continue chopping firewood rather than probe the topic. It’s not like he had much of a need to fight now anyways, Techno was perfectly capable and willing to take on the world for Phil. 

From then on, time passed by quietly.

The Syndicate was formed, consisting of his fellow anarchists. Small battles were fought, but nothing extreme. Well, at least the ones Phil participated in. Techno’s bloodshed, however, did not slow. He was never one to insert himself into battles he had no stake in, but he found the “stakes” he held in the battles he fought became less about what he gained, and more so existed for the sake of fighting. Time passed, yet Techno never felt the effects of it.

The same could not be said for Phil, nor his peers. As the years passed, Phil seemed significantly older. The timeless winged angel he knew growing up seemed... ancient. As isolated as they originally were in the Tundra, the people he once knew became even further and further away.

The Winter winds of Snowchester became harsher than what Tubbo’s infrastructure could withstand. The damage to the buildings became too severe, Tubbo and Jack resigning to move to a warmer climate. Tommy went with them, unsurprisingly. Ranboo and Niki left the Syndicate to join them.

Eventually the Egg and its cultists seemed to disappear below the surface. The dead bloodvines oozed a mix of light blue and red when cut, any residual whispers too quiet to make out. Sam wasn’t seen outside the prison anymore now, and new visitors were always refused. George and Sapnap allegedly left Eastward towards a mycelium biome, the looming walls of Pandora’s box an apparently unpleasant reminder for them.

More people disappeared; their reasons unknown to Techno. Some set sail across the ocean in search for something new, something untainted. Some died in smaller territorial battles, or over Casino winnings. Others went to the Nether and never came back. Phil could only fly for short periods of time now, and it took a great toll on his body.

‘So, see anything new out there birdman?’ Techno inquired, brewing a potion of Swiftness II. ‘I saw a gravestone I never saw before, near L’Canyon,’ Phil coughed, slowly adjusting himself in his chair. ‘L’Canyon... I don’t remember anyone being buried there. Who’s was it?’ Techno asked, mildly interested. ‘The hedge stone was too eroded, it could’ve been written in Endlish for all I know,’ Phil paused for a moment, ‘You might be able to read it, you have better eyesight than me, mate.’ Techno looked at Phil, surprised. ‘That’ll be a pretty long journey by horse, we’ll have to load up on supplies,’ Techno muttered, adding another cup of Redstone powder into his brewing stand. ‘I’ll fly us,’ Phil smiled as Techno looked dumbfounded at the fragile man before him. He was pale, the feathers on his wings greyed, his face lined and tired. Techno swallowed, ‘Phil, I don’t think--’ ‘C’mon, mate. Just like old times. If we leave now, we’ll have plenty of daylight,’ Phil interrupted, placing a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder. No matter his age, Phil was just as stubborn as always, so despite his better judgement Techno agreed on the trip. 

‘I’m still bringing a map, compass and overnight supplies in case we don’t make it before nightfall,’ Techno announced. ‘Of course, mate. I’m stubborn, not crazy-’ Phil was cut off by another fit of coughing. Techno eyed him nervously, ‘You’re sure you can hold my bodyweight, plus supplies?’ He inquired, dubiously. ‘Course, mate. Don’t stress about it,’ Phil reassured.

As anxious as Techno was, he trusted Phil’s judgement in his abilities. Plus, he couldn’t deny the rush he got from being in the sky. The wind flowing through his hair, the air fresh and crisp. He felt like a child again, riding on Phil’s back across the SMP. Soaring to the heavens at unimaginable speeds. He looked down at the pure whiteness that was their home, fading into dense spruce forestry, slowly becoming pure green Plains. Eventually, the green was abrupted by a deep, grey crater. 

They landed clunkily, more of a barely controlled fall than a proper landing. ‘You okay, Phil?’ Techno called out, standing up quickly, and wiping grass stains off his gleaming Netherite. Phil was further North of him, lying in a crowd of thistles. His body was contorted at a strange angle, ‘I’m ‘right,’ he called, his face wincing. Panic surged through Techno as he got closer, ‘Phil your bleeding, what the hell happened?’ He yelled, grabbing the medical kit out of his backpack. ‘It’s okay, mate. It was gonna happen soon, anyway,’ another labored breath, ‘Just wanted you to see the sky, one last time,’ He coughed, blood spurting across his chestplate. Techno hastily grabbed disinfecting wipes, Phil winced as his chestplate was removed.

A deep gash spread across Phil’s torso, below his ribs. His upper half impaled on a sharp tree stump shrouded within the thistles, his breath growing more ragged. ‘Phil- fuck. We’ve gotta get you off this thing,’ Techno swallowed, beads of sweat forming at his brow. ‘It’s too deep. The branch’s lodged in my intestines,’ he cringed, ‘at this angle, it’ll rip through my lung if you move me,’ Phil whispered, smiling weakly. He was right, the wood was splintered and lodged firmly in his core. Dark crimson blood leaked out from the gash like treacle, almost black and intense in volume. ‘I can- I’ll get healing potions from the house,’ Techno hyperventilated, wiping the disinfected cloth around the jagged and bloody stump. ‘If that doesn’t work, I’ll find a totem of undying-’ ‘Techno,’ Phil cut him off, placing a hand on his face. He hadn’t realized he had been crying until now. ‘It’s at least a 3 day walk back to the house on foot,’ Phil chuckled weakly, interrupted by a another fit of coughing. ‘Then what can- tell me what to do,’ Techno pleaded, wiping the cloth across the gash again and again as the crimson continued to leak out. 

‘Isn’t it painful, watching bleeding only to see more blood?’ Phil sighed, his breathing shallower, ‘It hurts but its undeniable, Techno...’

‘What is?’ Techno rasped, hands shaking.

‘...How good you are at wounding,’ Phil smiled, clasping his hand tightly. 

‘Phil, please’ Techno felt sick, his shoulders shaking. ‘It’s okay, Techno. I wanted this. I wanted to see the sky one more time,’ Phil swallowed, ‘-with you,’ His squeeze on Techno’s hand growing feebler. ‘Bury me at the gravestone I told you about,’ Phil’s eyes fluttered slightly. ‘But- I thought that was...’ Techno trailed off. 

It wasn’t fair. Phil had never betrayed him. He wasn’t stupid- his decision were always calculated. He was careful, he set traps around their base- he didn’t let his guard down. He wasn’t weak, he was an enemy’s worst nightmare on the battlefield. And yet, despite this, he died. Bleeding out, impaled and contorted near the shattered remains of his late son’s country. Phil died, just like everyone else.

Techno was alone. Phil, his constant, was gone. The other Syndicate members had disappeared, Wilbur died with L’Manburg and Tommy had long considered him an enemy. He was desolate and barren, the air felt cold as he sobbed loudly. His hands beat against the ground as he screamed until his throat grew hoarse. For the first time in his life, Techno ached. 

It had been weeks since Phil had passed, Techno felt too sick to eat or drink anything. The freezing nights did little to numb him, blistering days did little to warm him. His muscles did not deteriorate, nor did his legs give out beneath him. Physically, his body was fine. 

Back in the Tundra, his poison potions made him feel nauseous, potions of damage stung at his skin. No matter the mob, or the damage he sustained, he would respawn in his bed. The ache in his chest did not subside with time, the loneliness of the base encroaching upon him constantly. Yet, despite his stupid decisions, or letting his guard down around any mob he faced. Despite his weakness...

Technoblade never dies.

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Hi so that was an AU i wrote that got way too long lol. Hope you enjoyed! Likes/RBs appreciated :] <3.

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))