#i wont tag everyone just people i mostly talked about at the end

[lin-lizzie]

*cracks knuckles*

this was a detail i noticed a while ago when listening to and watching the persona 3 the weird masquerade version of brand new days however i was only watching the male mc version and it was grainy quality but at the very end the lights go dim and everyone does this weird gesture/motion with their hands, everyone doing it at a different pace, then it looks like they're sending it up into the air. now, i didnt watch p3twm HOWEVER i think it's based off p3p hopefully meaning the story is still pretty much the same aside the songs the cast sings (because i mean. its a stage version what else do u expect) and a few scenes probs but ANYWAYS lets also make note that in the game when everyone's persona awakens and they've resolved something in themselves and it appears as a weird little ball of light, im going to assume that that's what's being sent up into the air

okay, now back to p3twm im assuming the gesture/hand movement they're making resembles something, as everyone does it at a different pace and some people do NOT do it at all, what could this mean? i'm going to interpret it as when they've found a reason for life, i cannot say answer to life as only Aigis and the MC learn the answer to life and it isn't exactly shared to us and both of them only learn at the end of their games

everyone finds their reason differently, everyone has their different reasons. everyone finds it at different times, some later than others. im going to list from who does the gesture first to last (discluding mc) assuming it's who found their reasons first and who found theirs last, and some of their reasons if i can remember:

Aigis (protecting and staying by mc's side), Yukari, Fuuka. Junpei (theres probs another, but also for Chidori after she gave her life to him), akihiko (something about shinji i think), ken (also because of shinji), mitsuru, Chidori(? she isnt seen doing the full thing, however she brings both of her hands together and in the same way everyone else does. her will would be the love she found for junpei and yada yada)

and then the characters who do not do the full gesture (discluding chidori):

jin, takaya, and ryoji

now, I noticed when we zoom back out that Jin and Takaya dont exactly do anything until they send something into the air like everyone else, because i couldnt see what exactly they were doing though i went to search for another version which was the femc version now i know they both may not be the exact same however it is close enough and it actually stays zoomed out and you can see when everyone does the thing but anyways

jin and takaya use one hand, about a second after chidori they reach for something and pull to to them, but not like the others. its almost as if they keep it at a distance, but still keeping it close. they do however follow the others by sending it into the air.

ryoji however, does not do anything. that is until it's mc singing the final verse, his hand reaches up. i cant see what hes doing tho unfortunately smh

jin and takaya share similar ideals, albeit jin only does because he's loyal to takaya and such and such (ok idk how to word that but pls understand what i meannn), which leads to both of them not looking towards the future as they believe they do not have time and will die. which also leads them to wanting nyx to destroy the world and humanity.

ryoji is essentially death. he is the embodiment of it. that's why he doesn't do anything. however, he knows he will be at mc's side, bc yknow mc dies at the end becoming the great seal.

now, mc doing the hand gesture last may just be because he's singing the final verse however his is also different, he reaches out towards the audience/camera instead of sending it up. again, may be bc hes singing final, but it's still an interesting detail, as he is the one who finds the answer to life, and giving it up for the future of his friends.

i love this little detail. i dont think my interpretation is exactly right but boy is it still something that got me thinking. such a small detail too

[mintys-musings]

ACTUALLY IT'S PREVIOUS ANON WAIT. What do you think their first time was like

waaaaaaaaugh ;u; it makes me so happy knowing people like my himeniki stuff ~ I’m very normal about them.

In fact— I’m so normal that when I was writing my response, I realized I was getting too specific for it to be a ramble, but anything less didn’t feel right. So... I ended up just writing a really long one shot... ^^;;; (sowwy nsfw week also hit me so uhh this got pushed aside a lil) Just to be clear— I do think in terms of Niki ships, if HiMERU is involved, he would be Niki’s first. Yes this includes HiMERinNiki. If he isn’t involved and it’s a monogamous ship, it’s whoever Niki is shipped with.

I’m very sorry. I had too many thoughts for it to be contained to a casual ramble. nonnie feel free to ask me for anything else I prommy i will properly respond and it wont take 200 years.

Anyway :)

Hold Me Tight, Love (or that time HiMERU did what "HiMERU" actually wanted for once)

Summary: HiMERU just wanted some fresh air. Niki wanted to keep him company

Tags: inexperienced!Niki, blowjobs, there is penetration, talk of HiMERU’s eating habits (just to be safe- also its not in depth), barely lightly proofread but mostly pure instinct on my end, hand holding

Word Count: 4000 (if you just wanna read the smut part skip to where theres a ~~~)

NSFW under cut~

Whenever his unit finished a performance in the Bee Hive, HiMERU couldn’t help but think that the club lived up to its name as he watched the swaths of people that packed the venue.

Having a regular venue to perform at brought comfort to all of the Bees— Whether any of them wanted to admit it or not. Plus, all that rapport they’ve built up so far has granted the idols some special privileges other places could not. One of those being a little room to themselves on the second floor overlooking the first. No one could see in through the glass from the bottom, but they could see out. A perfect hideaway.

Another?

“Kyahaha! Job well done, Bees! Let’s eat!”

Rinne’s loud proclamation was accompanied by him flicking a shot glass of soju into a mug of beer.

Food and drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic alike) covered the table in front of the idols. Yes. The unit was not only well compensated for their performances, but also well fed.

Once the green light was put up, mostly everyone dug in. Niki was already chewing on the club’s offerings of yakitori and fried gyoza like he hadn’t snuck granola bars on stage to eat between sets. Kohaku was trying to get his plate away from Rinne, who stacked spicy chicken wings on it so he “doesn’t get them mixed up with the normal ones.”

The only one not as ravenous or lively was, of course, HiMERU. The blue-haired man just sat there, sipping on a can of cola. He had already had his fair share of food this afternoon when Niki had invited him to try out some new dishes he had come up with. Despite HiMERU’s plans to only sample one small sliver of food, he had ended up eating a full course meal without realizing. Quite the problem for someone like HiMERU who tended to follow a meal plan. As a way to balance his sudden deviation, he held back on dinner for tonight.

It can’t be helped, I suppose. Shiina’s cooking is hard to pass up.

His golden eyes shifted to the chef in question. Niki was downing an unreasonable amount of gyoza, at the moment, eyes glued to the oldest and youngest member of the unit bickering away over whether peppercorns were spicy. For once, Niki wasn’t the one going toe to toe with Rinne about a food related matter. It was almost comical, really.

As everyone was distracted, HiMERU took this opportunity to get some much needed fresh air. The sounds of music were clear in that small hideaway for only a brief moment as he snuck out of the door. It didn’t benefit HiMERU to stick around the entire time, no. But he would only be a few minutes. He had been around the others all day and in this building for a non-insignificant amount of time just preparing for the live. He needed air. He needed some peace.

The crisp, night air hit his face as soon as he opened the side door to the Bee Hive. He closed the heavy door behind him and leaned against the railing of the few steps that bled into the back alley. It was nice to get some alone time. Something as precious as that was hard to come by for HiMERU— Especially at and around ES where he was bound to run into someone who knew “HiMERU” and would need to act accordingly. He took a few deep breaths and stared at weathered brick wall in front of him.

A few minutes. And he would go back to the others.

Click.

“There you are~!”

HiMERU whipped around as soon as he heard the door open, only to be met with sharp, blue eyes staring back at him.

Niki closed the door behind him as he stepped onto the tiny landing. In his hand was the very plate he was eating from earlier, now with only a few sticks of yakitori.

“You weren’t eating with the rest of us... Was it Rinne-kun? I understand how atmosphere might affect appetite.” Niki stood next to HiMERU, offering up the plate. “... It’s grilled. I’m sure you know that. But the glaze itself is pretty light so it won’t sit in your stomach uncomfortably when you sleep.”

Whenever someone stared at HiMERU so expectantly, it was hard for him to really push them away. And in the time he has gotten to know Niki, HiMERU has become rather weak for the chef in particular.

With a soft smile and a sigh, he took one of the skewers from the plate. “Thank you, Shiina,” he said, “HiMERU just needed some fresh air.”

“Ah~ What a relief. I was worried, y’know? We just finished a live so our body needs some energy. Even if it’s kinda late. You still use up calories in your sleep, after all~”

Niki smiled up at HiMERU. To HiMERU’s surprise, Niki didn’t look like he was just going to hand over the plate and leave.

HiMERU tilted his head at the chef. “HiMERU is aware of that. You should head inside, though. It’s cold out.”

“Eh? But I came here to share food with you.” It was as simple as that to Niki. He leaned up against the railing as well, balancing the plate precariously on the metal pole.

So much for HiMERU’s alone time. But it was fine. Niki made for good company.

Swept up in light chatter, the unit mates ate the remaining sticks of grilled chicken. Well— Niki ate most of it. HiMERU still got at least two down before Niki’s own instincts took over. HiMERU watched Niki go on about a new brine he wanted to test on some leftover meat in the cafeteria, his eyes wandering across his face with a mild curiosity. He studies his features as he spoke, drifting to Niki’s more cat-like eyes and down to his lips that were stained from the glaze. He even had a stray bit of meat left on the corner of his lips.

Most of the culinary jargon went over HiMERU’s head, if he was honest, but it was endearing to see Niki so passionate.

Everything about the chef, really, was endearing to HiMERU. Though in the beginning, he found Niki’s lack of care towards his own duties as an idol rather troublesome, by now HiMERU had gained a new perspective on it. He even respected how he managed to juggle being both a chef and an idol even when one was forced upon him by the man they call a leader. It was an interesting feat. HiMERU wondered if Niki would agree.

And it wasn’t like Niki was bad at being an idol. If anything, HiMERU would call him a near natural if it wasn’t for Niki’s lack of an internal counter when dancing. Niki had practically everything else though. The vocals, the sheer charisma— God, the charisma— Niki’s charm took HiMERU by surprise every time they hopped on stage togeth—

“HiMERU-kun?”

“Hm?” He blinked slowly, like a cat might. “Yes?”

“You’re staring.”

The softness of Niki’s voice pulled HiMERU to the present. He stood up a bit straighter and cleared his throat. He hadn’t realized he had let his guard down so much he started zoning out.

“Aha...~ Sorry. I must’ve been talking too much—“

“No. Not at all.” HiMERU was quick to shut down any self-deprecating comment Niki was about to make. “... You have something on your face.”

Without waiting for a reply, HiMERU reached over and tilted Niki’s chin upward with his pointer finger, brushing away a stray crumb of food at the corner of his unit mate’s mouth with his thumb. He watched as Niki’s eyes went wide with the gesture, lips parting slightly to let out a single noise.

“Ah.”

Neither dared to move.

There was a mental game of chicken being played where neither party wanted to move. A spell had been cast. The world was still.

It would never be clear on HiMERU’s face that he was thinking of anything in particular. He had always held himself to the standard of needing to act in accordance to what HiMERU would do. Not himself. But in this moment, he was conflicted. His true desires would be counter to anything that would further HiMERU’s career and counter to any other option that would be “safe.”

In a lone alleyway, under the cover of shadows, with the moon and stars as witness, desire triumphed safety.

Niki’s lips were soft.

That was all HiMERU could register as his hand moved from Niki’s chin to cup his jaw. And for a moment, he feared that the chef did not reciprocate. Alarm bells were ringing in his head— I have made a mistake. And, out of panic, he pulled away just as he felt equal pressure on his lips.

“HiMERU apologi—“

His words were stifled quick. He was backed up against the railing by the force of Niki leaning in for another kiss. Their teeth nearly clashed as HiMERU got his bearings and actually kissed back.

Inhibitions and doubts pushed to the side, HiMERU turned the tables so now Niki was pressed against the brick wall of the building. Their lips moved in sync with one another. Their hands were all over each other. Their bodies melded together like this was the way it was always meant to be. All the time spent dancing around each other’s feelings, kind conversations in the cafe, brushing hands, longing looks— All of it just heated the idols’ want for one another.

The way Niki’s breath hitched and the little whimper that escaped him as they grew more passionate only served to make blood rush down to HiMERU’s groin. He could feel Niki rut against his thigh slightly, almost rhythmically to the tempo of the muffled song playing inside the Bee Hive.

The Bee Hive...

Right.

Before either of them could get carried away, they pulled apart for air. Both of them were left panting, staring into each other’s eyes with a carnal desire.

“HiMERU thinks we should go somewhere more private.”

His words come out much more desperately than he’d desire.

“Yeah... Yeah...” Niki seemed to be in a daze himself, still unconsciously moving his hips against HiMERU’s body.

After a quick text to the remaining two bees saying that HiMERU felt tired and that Niki decided to escort him back to the dorms, the two set off on a quick hunt for the nearest love hotel.

~~~

The two were back at it in no time.

Clothes were flying off of the both of them— A comical Kisses trailed along each bit of exposed skin. Every beauty mark. Everything. They couldn’t help themselves. Eventually, HiMERU was leaned back against the headboard with Niki in front of him on his knees. Both of them only had their boxers left as a barrier.

HiMERU was once again taken by Niki’s boyish charm, admiring every stray freckle and mole that was once hidden by clothing. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at how wide-eyed and flustered Niki was. Though the chef’s hands were resting at the elastic of HiMERU’s boxers, Niki seemed to be hesitating. Or at least in deep thought.

Cupping his cheek, HiMERU made Niki look at him.

“Are you okay?” HiMERU asked.

Niki nodded, his usual smile returning accompanied by a flush of pink to his cheeks. “I’m okay. Just... Nervous. I’ve never... I mean I’ve wanted to— I mean...”

It was rare to see Niki so shy like this. It made him that much more adorable in HiMERU’s eyes.

A kiss. Just to calm the nerves. HiMERU pulled down his own boxers himself. Niki’s face went wildly red. And while normally HiMERU would chastise staring so blatantly... He’d make an exception this time since it made him feel good.

“That’s alright. HiMERU will guide you. Don’t worry.” He did his best to assure his friend— Lover? They didn’t really talk this through. But that would be later. Right now, he coaxed Niki out of his final layer of clothing.

Bare in front of each other, HiMERU held back from folding Niki in half and prepping him hastily with the love hotel’s lube. All this time, HiMERU had been... Suppressing his urges to say the least. It’s been long enough that HiMERU thought he would be immune to such immense horny thoughts. But now it was hitting him like a train. His dick twitched in the cold air of the room as if signaling its own needs.

Niki wasn’t fairing any better, it seemed. He looked painfully hard already, tip gleaming with precum. The man was even drooling slightly like he was looking at his next meal.

Well... Maybe that was because HiMERU was going to end up in his mouth.

Niki was so eager to try, at least. His hand gently wrapped around HiMERU’s base as if to gauge how he’d fit his girth in. Sparkling blue eyes bore into HiMERU with an unspoken request. HiMERU should’ve expected this out of Niki, but he didn’t think the virgin would take initiative like this.

“You...” HiMERU took a deep breath before nodding. “Fine. Just be mindful of your teeth. HiMERU will tell you what to do.”

Beaming, Niki nodded and quickly shimmied down to dick level. Niki’s oral fixation wasn’t anything new, but in this context, HiMERU felt a bead of precum form at his tip.

The moment HiMERU gave Niki a nod, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation. Niki engulfed the tip into his warm, awaiting mouth and lavished it with his tongue. Even with just the tip, Niki’s mouth was rather full.

HiMERU let out a soft groan as he realized that Niki would be rather good at this. He guided Niki’s hand to stroke whatever wasn’t in his mouth, eyes glowing with appreciation as Niki followed his instruction.

“Spit on it,” he said, “And move your head in time with your hand.”

It was a little cute having to tell Niki what to do.

Niki followed, allowing his drool to roll down HiMERU’s shaft. The mix of saliva and pre made it easy for Niki’s hand to pump him at a nice pace. HiMERU’s slender fingers threaded through Niki’s locks in order to guide his head up and down as he liked.

Moans and grunts escaped both parties as each got used to the respective sensations. HiMERU was on cloud nine with how quickly Niki caught on. His mouth felt like heaven. It took all his might to not force Niki’s head down so his dick would slide down the chef’s throat. Though now that the thought was in his head, he’d have to do it if the opportunity presented itself later down the line.

No— Instead, HiMERU watched with his mouth agape as Niki gave head like a champ.

He couldn’t resist bucking his hips lightly into Niki’s inviting mouth every now and again, watching as his partner’s eyes would widen in shock each time but no less took what was given. Niki’s cheeks were puffed out in what the other could only interpret as a pout.

Niki’s eyes peered up at HiMERU’s panting, sweaty form as he opened his mouth and let his lover’s cock pat his tongue a few times. He kissed down the length, leaning to rest his cheek against HiMERU’s thigh. He looked dazed as he leisurely pumped his hand around him.

Hand moving from his long, dark grey hair to his chin, HiMERU smeared the spit along Niki’s lips with his thumb with a smile. “Everything alright, Shiina?” He asked to check in. As much as he wanted his cock stuffed back between his lips, he let Niki take his time.

His lover responded with a hum, kissing his thumb before dragging his tongue along the tip of HiMERU’s cock. Niki’s hips rutted lightly against the bed to satiate himself. “You taste... Nice.”

High praise.

HiMERU’s lips curled into a small smile. He could tell Niki was too shy to actually ask for what he wanted so he took matters into his own hands. “HiMERU hasn’t been very fair, hm? Lay down.”

Niki followed.

His palms slid under Niki’s thighs to push them up to his chest. “Hold them there for—“ HiMERU paused, looking down at his unit mate’s flustered appearance. Fingers digging into his soft skin, he spared a tender kiss to the chef’s lips. “Hold them there for HiMERU. Please.” His voice was strained as he fell into old habits.

Of course, Niki obliged. He held his legs perfectly in place as HiMERU fished the lube out from one of the hotel’s baskets to use.

In HiMERU’s mind, nothing would be quite as hot compared to how Niki looked as he prepared him. As his finger pressed against his hole gently to ease it in, Niki let out the most adorable whimper. A pure melody.

“Ngah~ HiMERU-kun~” Niki whined, blunt nails digging into the backs of his own thighs.

“Just relax, Shiina.” HiMERU muttered, fully concentrated on the task at hand. “It’ll get better in a moment...” He trails off again, pressing the pad of another finger to Niki’s tight hole. The lube felt cool on his fingers, but it was immediately contrasted by the warmth of his lover’s insides. “... HiMERU promises it’ll feel better.”

His free hand moved to attend to Niki’s stiff cock. It was leaking so much precum that HiMERU would’ve thought he came if he wasn’t looking. Either way, it just made stroking him that much easier.

HiMERU took his sweet time preparing his lover. Delving his fingers in and out, HiMERU was given quite the show of Niki writhing against the sheets, biting his lip to keep from making a fool of himself with all the noises he was making. His hole was clenching around HiMERU’s fingers like his life depended on it. Even when HiMERU knew Niki was properly prepared, he still kept going to coax more reactions out of him. The hand moving up and down Niki’s cock was agonizingly slow. He studied each reaction as he ran his fingers over the other’s tip.

Niki was nervous, that much was sure. But the way Niki’s lashes fluttered every now and then as he got more and more used to the feeling of being filled was such a beautiful sight. The blue-haired man was far too entranced by his lover drooling and whining right in the palms of his hands.

It all came to a head when Niki heaved out a breath and grabbed HiMERU’s wrist. “HiMERU-kun, please... I can’t take it. I’m ready. I promise.” A mewling cat simply putty in his hands.

HiMERU blinked a few times, all too lost in how nice Niki was sounding to remember the actual task at hand for a moment.

“Please...”

Niki’s voice was practically strained with want. And who was HiMERU to deny such a kind plea?

With some shifting around, HiMERU was pressed up against Niki’s awaiting hole.

“... You’re sure about this?” HiMERU asked. As much as he wanted nothing more than to bury himself into Niki, both his own hesitancy and his respect for his unit mate made him check once more.

Niki laced his fingers with HiMERU’s. It was such a soft gesture that HiMERU nearly melted on the spot.

“I’m sure, ‘meru,” he said. “I trust you.”

Both of them let out their own soft moans of pleasure as HiMERU pushed in. HiMERU even cursed, hunching over to press his forehead to Niki’s shoulder. “Warm...” He grunted.

He thrust inch by inch in, doing his best to keep it soft and gentle. How long had it been since he fucked someone like this? Someone he cared about, no less. HiMERU could feel a bead of sweat roll down his temple. All the time he’s spent suppressing his urges was kicking him in the ass during what is supposed to be a gentle first time for Niki.

Niki’s lips met HiMERU’s neck to soothe himself as they both rocked in sync. His grip on HiMERU’s hands tightened ever so slightly. The heat from the chef’s body radiated against his own.

The room was alight with soft moans and grunts as the two made love for the first time.

One of HiMERU’s hands let go of Niki’s, much to the chef’s whining.

“’M-Meru!”

Niki’s voice came out in a cute squeak as HiMERU timed his thrusts to each stroke of his cock. The both of them had been holding back so much this whole time. Niki himself was far too embarrassed from how ready he was to come even earlier that he’s been holding it in. His pretty blue eyes glistened with tears from how close he was.

HiMERU knew Niki was close and had been for some time. He could feel how his dick twitched in his hand. “C’mon, Shiina,” he mumbled. He allowed himself to speed up, his hips snapping to Niki’s like it was the last thing he would do. “It’s okay. Go on. Come for me.”

His words and Niki’s climax came before either of them could fully register it. Niki’s shy moans got louder and louder, dizzy and overwhelmed with pleasure. “Mnngh~! HiMERU-kun!” He gasped.

Cum splattered across his abdomen and HiMERU’s fingers, but HiMERU hadn’t stopped moving. His eyes shone with an unabashed lust as he raised his hands to lick up the essence spilled. The sight of which made Niki whine with embarrassment.

Niki’s whines turned to more moans as HiMERU continued to plow into him. Given that Niki was thrown deep into a pit of ecstasy, he had no problems now going as harsh as he wanted. His hand found Niki’s shaft once more, playing a nice game of overstimulation with the poor chef beneath him who was scrambling to hold onto him.

“Ghh—!” Niki’s cries went unheard.

HiMERU was ruthless, peppering Niki’s face with kisses as he let out all his pent up lust.

“I’m sorry, Shiina. I can’t help it when you look so sexy under me. You’re gripping my cock so tightly... You want me to keep fucking you like this into the night?” His words flowed out of his mouth freely and without shame in short gasps. “You’re so pretty. Wish I could take a picture...”

A part of him was tempted, but that would open a whole new can of possible bad decisions.

Niki didn’t have the mind to respond in anything but the lovely sounds of moans and whimpers. His back arched as he felt HiMERU twitch in his tight hole.

HiMERU pressed his lips roughly onto Niki’s as his thrusts lost their rhythm. He focused purely on driving himself as harshly as he could into his lover.

“Coming...”

With one last pump of his hips, HiMERU pushed himself flush against Niki. His balls emptied themselves of their seed, filling Niki enough to make him shudder.

Once again, the world was still as the two caught their breath. HiMERU didn’t bother pulling out just yet. Instead, he very carefully adjusted both of them to they could lay intertwined in each other’s embrace.

Niki was exhausted, but satisfied as he snuggled up to HiMERU. His eyes were drooping slightly as the high started to settle down.

“That felt nice...” He muttered. “... But now I’m hungry...”

HiMERU let out a breathless chuckle, kissing the crown of Niki’s head. “I’m— Excuse me. HiMERU is pretty sure we can order food here... Let’s rest first for a moment. HiME— I—“ He sighed. The inner conflict was back.

“... I’ll order us something in a minute. How’s that sound?”

“Mhm... Anything’s fine with me. Thank you.” Niki responded in kind, a soft smile on his face as he basked in the afterglow.

The two shared a kiss, tender and sweet.

In these moments... These are for me. Just me. I can let myself have these moments with Shiina.

[nyahuaisang]

oh nooooo is poor baby upset that something they like is inherently queer in nature 🥺🥺🍼🍼

Notice how I'm really just discussing the themes presented to us by the anime and yet they're acting like im screaming in their face. They don't do this to other people discussing other aspects of the series in the comments, only to me, because I was discussing a topic they didn't want associated with the series. "Wokism knows no bounds" and "calm down" as if i was acting deranged instead of doing what everyone else is and adding my own thoughts about the series like everyone else is doing. Classic "paint the queer as crazy so people wont listen to them" tactics..

I've mostly been talking about heavenly delusion in the context of it being excluded by other queer fans but there are tons of queerphobes who has and will try to push back against this series being queer as well because let's face it. It's an amazing series. It has a great plot, great characters, great animation, great soundtrack and most importantly, it doesn't have that oh so helpful "genderbender" or "yaoi" tag that would help them differentiate the "normal" media from the corner that all queer media is pished into, so of *course* the bigots will try to insist that it's not queer. Because they can't love something that's queer, so they need to make it cishet.

Even people who may say they're not queerphobe or has 'shown their support for the yaoi and yuri genres and the fujoshis and fudanshi will most likely not address the queerness in this whatsoever and dismiss it with wordings like "it's really more of a bodyswap" or "i support the lgbt+ but this doesn't really fit into that" or "not everything is queer and this isnt even really queer" or "it would be a disservice/offensive to tbe lgbt+ community if i were to call this queer" etc...etc...because why?

Because they like it. And because it doesn't stay in the nice little corner labeled "uhh woke gay stuff" where they push anything queer into and pretends to uplift it but they only uplift it because it's in that little convenient corner away from all the "normal good" stuff.

Do not and I mean DO NOT let them do this. This is not just a one off lesbian kiss that never comes back, it does. Kiruko's transplant into a girl's body is not just for fanservice or romance shenanigans, it is written into the plot. Maru does not rescind his confession after learning that Kiruko is a boy, in fact, he outright states he's still in love with him. Maru also immediately asks if he should stop referring to him as "Sis", to which Kiruko says he can still use. There will be blatant and direct intersex characters. It's not just a one-off thing that happens, no, the queerness is literally BAKED into this. It may not be the main focus like other queer series such as shimanami tasogare or my lesbian experience or miyano and sasaki but it is still there and unrefutable.

Don't let the queerphobes take a series that is inherently queer in nature and overshadow that queerness with their cisheteronormativity.

The fact of the matter is that kiruko is set to be the main romantic interest of Maru, a boy, and there is just no way to frame that in a way that it is both cis and hetero, which, in turn, makes it QUEER.

"Queer enough" is not just in issue with truscum but its also something queerphobes will try to use to reject queer media.

Don't let them take this from us. We already don't have much as it is and what we do have all end up being removed from the general audience and pushed into that little "queer corner".

[keibea]

@lazysunjade tagged me in this because she knows me well I LOVE U THANK U this is going to be a lot of me fangirling, i apologise

three ships;

okay so i have the slight issue of only shipping two people together when i know they'll end up together because i am not getting my heart broken even though they're fictional characters so most of these couples are already together....which i believe still counts as a ship? idk. i could also go on for a wayyy longer list but heres the three i could think of at this point in time....

1. Anne Shirley & Gilbert Blythe - Anne of Green Gables (I'm mostly thinking of them from the 1980 tv/movie or the book and not the show Anne with an E because I grew up with that movie but the concept still stands) 2. Penelope Featherington & Colin Bridgerton - Bridgerton (BECAUSE THEY NEED TO BE TOGETHER IF THEY ARENT I AM SUING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE moving on) 3. Iona & Jaoven - The Heir and the Spare by Kate Stradling (im obsessed with this book tbh)

favourite sims ships (stealing @crow-simblr 's idea because it really is a super cute one!);

eva and mako / en pointe / @thesimperiuscurse (MY BABIIESSS) yehl and taryn / age of arcanai / lazysunjade theo and frederick?? (i hope they're the right couple LOL) / rip dani-paradise i LOVED HER STORY AHHH ceddy and sloane / britechester / @moonsonnet IM LOOKING AT U BOTH

first ship;

so ages ago there was a show every witch way which i used to adore watching and daniel and emma were everything and when she didnt pick him i was actually shouting at the tv i was so sad my parents still make fun of me for it till this day. @akioakashiya will probably be the only one that knows what im talking about LOL

last song;

remedy by adele

last movie;

i believe it was Redeeming Love

currently reading;

summerhaven by tiffany odekirk (just finished it ABSOLUTELY ADORED IT!! beautiful clean regency read if you're into that sort of thing!)

currently consuming;

my mums brownies :)

currently craving;

CHOCOLATE unsurprisingly for everyone that knows me. that and cc

i shall tag @thesimperiuscurse , @amuhav (who are here to make up numbers because they wont do it) , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @akioakashiya , @catharsim , @plumbobem and everyone else :D sorry if youve been tagged already! and dont do it if u dont want to okay? okay.

[castlebyersafterdark]

just seen some people say they didnt vibe with max's running up that hill scene and i think that reactions and people reacting quickly about media for socials is part of the cause of this new thing where people have so many divisive opinions. when i watch something new i am eyes and ears at full alert, taking in everything as it goes rather than trying to figure the plot out ahead of time, and i realised i would make a shit reactor because it's all happening internally. i dont want to express anything aloud as i watch because you would miss something; dialogue, music, emotional beats? even if stories aren't meant to be consumed in dead silence, i'm amazed at how quickly people form coherent opinions about characters a split second after they've done something instead of just seeing how everything plays out. i'm thinking about lucas 'betraying' the party in s4, people thinking he was genuinely hunting eddie instead of just seeing where his story went. in terms of byler, even now with the story unfinished i am so unable to conjecture real 'proof' or evidences of byler wholly because its open ended! i wont judge anyone until the story is complete.

i'm just amazed by these reactors because theyre usually just GA/nerds, and its fascinating to see them respond and react so quickly and so judgementally, i wonder if it's partially for views now instead of an honest reaction theyre sharing online.

Reaction videos are not something I watch, unless a very funny clip gets shared, I guess because I'm maybe feeling some of the same things you are - they don't feel sincere a lot of the time? I don't think there's anything wrong with all of them. I know a lot of people like watching them especially after they finish a show so they can go back and see what others are taking away which could be interesting. It depends on the reactor. So I can understand the appeal to an extent, but I don't personally like a lot of that format because like you said, the initial over the top gut reaction isn't that useful to me? I'm also mentally absorbing a show if I watch. I'll gasp or maybe cry a little at a scene, laugh, but mostly I'm just watching. The reactor videos are a performance, but then these folks use that performance to inform their opinion. It's a little too off the cuff for my personal taste.

I think for me, I just can't imagine ever filming myself watching something to showcase my emotions, especially if it's something I really care about? So I don't trust reactors as true fans. Because it's just not so authentic. You're aware of the content you're trying to capture. You overly emote, you pay more attention to the fact that you're recording. It's never completely a natural opinion or reaction. I'm not so much into livetweeting/liveblogging, either, so that's probably a factor. Sounds pretentious, but if I care about a movie or show, the first time I watch it I need to be present.

I know when season five drops, I'm turning off my phone from the moment it's available on netflix until I've finished watching what's out myself. That's my plan. Divisive is the key word. Social media moves fast and everyone wants to be the first to post something or see something or point something out. I'll be ok being a day late to things!!

It's why the main Byler fandom on tumblr isn't appealing to me anymore, because one thing I kept seeing is people getting pissy about folks 'pointing out stuff that's been talked about already too many times' or 'I already thought of this theory first and this user is copying me now' as if everyone watched and thinks at the same pace? As if people innately know every post that's ever been made on tumblr or added under the tag? Calm down. Yeah, if it's a rage bait opinion, or blatant plagiarism, but that's not what I'm talking about.

[blkkizzat]

ty for tag remi pookies! ❤

• started writing ?

in my ff.net days. hmm when i was super young like 2012? lol ive only written bits and pieces of things and quit for like years at a time. this is actually my longest stint writing consistently lol.

• started blogging ?

i used to be obsessed with working out and keto/paleo so i had a fitspo blog which had a crazy amount of follower, thank god that blog is now archived lol. but i was casually reading jjk fanfics on here from like may 2023 to aug 2023 when i decided to make my own blog and start writing!

• followers ?

5.1k, and honestly many more than i deserve for being such a slow writer and for not writing at least 3 of the 9 months ive had this blog due to school/illness/travel. i edit ALOT and rework fics 10x over so i really appreciate all the positive feedback and support my work does get especially since it skews longer (5k to me is a short fic LOL) and i be spending 30-40hrs+ on fics. i know people like reading shorter things but i never feel like my shorter works are as good as my longer ones (i really have to be in a mood to write something under 1k). so it means even more that so many of y'all do read the long-winded shit i put out. thats why i always try to respond back to every comment and answer every ask cause i want y'all to know how much i appreciate it!

• communication ?

i will honestly talk to anyone and everyone! i prefer discord but like chatting on here too. i will drop by others asks and i love getting asks and talking to anons. i hope no one ever feels too intimidated to talk to me cause im just a loser pervert dork like otaku!gojo lmfao.

• likes ?

i appreciate the likes but i love the comments and reblogs with tags, those really keep me going. you dont even have to say anything profound just "i liked this alot" and i would squirt with joy istg lmfao.

• requests ?

are currently closed. im such a slow writer that i closed them at the beginning of the month with a goal to get through the 20 or so I have by the end of the year LOL! But i love hearing your ideas, if you wanna send me ideas or just chat about a headcanon you have feel free! im always down to share thoughts.

• writing ?

writing has always come easy for me in the sense of i have a huge imagination. something pos that comes from my dissociative daydreaming lol, it really puts me in the space of the characters/world and ideas just flow. once i just started writing about my daydreams and stopped looking for "plots" the ideas just wont stop coming! i wish i were a faster writer because sometimes i feel like imma burst if i dont get something typed out lol. they nag me in the back of my head lol.

i am working on techniques to become faster though (mostly cause i sometimes i over edit) like just writing without reworking sentences or pausing to think of better adjectives and being ok with being repetitive until its time to edit.

• fics you’re proud of ?

a bumpy ride - ok this is my most popular fic lol but thats not why im proud of it, it was my first time in ages writing 'crack'/humor. People telling me they laughed from my writing is such a huge compliment omfg. like im not funny y'all im just crazy, i swear lmfaoooo.

ghostface!choso, because it was my first time writing horror and writing for choso. i wasn't sure if i could do it tbh. it took me out of my comfort zone but i really liked the end product and like im obsessed with killer choso now lmfao.

plug!choso, hello?!!? i can write angst?? i wasnt even intending to istg lmfao it just came out and the story took a life of its own. crazy.

tagging some of my fav writers, no presh ofc: @tonycries @ohimsummer @yuutx @bunny584 @triangularz @bakubunny

@081231 @hoshigray @screampied @ramonathinks @arlerts-angel @nkogneatho

+anyone else bc i know i forgot sum ᥫ᭡

Behind the scenes of a Tumblr Writer - Tag Game

Hey there, I love behind the scenes and since this is something that's rarely talked about, let me start the chain... if you feel uncomfortable with a question, just skip it. You can add some if you want as well.

Started writing: I wrote my first Harry Potter fanfic at age 10. Started posting around 15,16 years old. I'm now 31, so...

Started blogging: I started on a German fanfiction site around 2010/11 I think. Might have been earlier too, but back then I was mostly reading, no posting. I really started when I got into One Direction (very late, tbh)

Followers: Currently at 961, which is wild to me. I don't even know that many people IRL. I convince myself that half of them are bots tbh, so I don't freak out all the time.

Communication: The people I talk to regularly are: a few writers who answered after I constantly reblogged and commented on their works and a few people who commented and reblogged my work. Writing and blogging on here can be pretty lonely, depending on your personality and the time you're active (I'm from Europe and a lot of my followers seem to be living in Northern America, so there's the Timezone thing) ... And I found that the best way to strike a conversation is to reblog, comment, and to not be shy. I do wish I got more asks, though....

Likes: I actually filter them out. I have 793 original posts up at the moment. It doesn't give me anything to know how many likes a fic has other than to tell me which characters are liked more than others or maybe that one fic does especially well. My activity only shows me comments, asks, reblogs with tags, and answers to my own asks. I live for the tags and the comments.

Requests: I love talking to people about ideas. That's how I started the plotbunny game because I have so many ideas and so little time. And sometimes an idea just doesn't want to be written out fully. Requests are fun because YAY, I get some mail... but then I freak out because I don't really know how to write this NOW and then I freak out because it's been a week already, two weeks, wait, two months? I'd rather have suggestions where people tell me vague things like "I'd love to read something about this side character" or "Have you ever considered this character with a soulmate trope"? because then I don't have the feeling of failing the request when I write it a little bit differently.

Writing: I am a fast writer. I know that's one of my talents. I can churn out a oneshot of 1k words in less than an hour. People read slower than I write. That can suck sometimes because you've just posted this and you want to know what people are thinking but they're not as fast as you are. I do have a lot of ideas. I want to write constantly but my brain doesn't always want to. I am trying to respect that.

There are also certain things that I just feel wrong writing. I cannot write anything suggestive (I also don't like reading it) and everything past that gives me panic attacks. I can hardly write mean characters and jealousy feels so wrong to me that I cannot write it. I've also overdone it with the soulmark trope and now I feel like everything I write about it feels lifeless.

I write best in the mornings before going to work, but I don't have much time there. I don't need special music (but it helps), but I need to have at least some energy left and at best, no distractions. But I have been writing for over 20 years, so I will say experience helps a lot.

Tagging: @revasserium @shoulmate @lemurzsquad @screamin-abt-haikyuu @toomanygoldfish @satorisoup @emmyrosee @reverie-starlight @alienaiver and @writingsofanomnivore and everyone else who wants to join

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[piningeddiediaz]

I personally think Pynch anniversary is November 2nd because 1st is ronans bday and idk they kissed and all and probably talked through the night and i think it makes sense that the anniversary would be November 2 but thats just me. They’re basically together now for 1 yr and idk 1-2 months. Since they got together 1 yr before adam left and now it’s November/December again.

I have a question btw. Why do you think so many people seem to dislike Adam and/or Declan? I mostly am following pynch / Adam blogs but i see a lot of negativity too and idgi.

I personally like gansey and blue for example even tho they’re not perfect but actually no character is, not even adam even tho i love him dearly. But so much of the stoey happens bc of adam and idk…

Also I hate kavinsky apologists or people who say ronan had a crush on him wtf 😳 like. No. Kavinsky was disgusting and yeah maybe lost too but an asshole nonetheless. Ronan was already riding his crush on adam wave and he def wasnt interested in kavinsky except for the racing and dreaming convos ?! Sorry brain dump

yeah, I suppose that makes sense. depends on when you define their anniversary ig? is it an anniversary when you first kiss? when you admit feelings? when you officially declare you are together? I sure as fuck wouldn't know!

and oh boy, I have thought about why people hate Adam a lot and I think Adam perfectly described why in trb - "rags to riches isn't a story anyone wants to hear until after its done." I can't speak for everyone, but it wasn't until end of trb/start of dream thieves that I started to like Adam. I liked gansey immediately, but barely skimmed over adam's chapters until we got to his "what do you want, Adam? to feel awake when my eyes are open" because suddenly I could understand with vivid clarity why I was so eager to not pay attention to Adam - it's because he is real. gansey, at least at the start, was not. he was from the get go established to be the typical male lead. handsome, popular, rich. he's privileged but tries to be humble (even when he fails at it), he tries to be a good friend (even tho sometimes he fails at it). gansey was presented to be the kind of protagonist we are all familiar with. we've seen him in nearly every piece of literature. but Adam? Adam is real. Adam is like the average person. he doesnt get to hope for a future, he has to make one. he understands this fact, perhaps more and way earlier than any other person might, and he wont let anything stand in the way. in trb it made him appear to be cruel, because when people read books about friendship they want it to be all or nothing. you would give up your life for your friend. you would give up everything for them. and so the audience, who are already naturally inclined to immediately go towards gansey, are frustrated at Adam because he's your friend! he just wants to help you! it's not until adam's arc ends that people really understand where Adam comes from, why adam does this. you cant give something to someone who has always had nothing and expect them to not think it doesnt come with strings attached. in the real world, it always does. and I think that is why adam's character arc hits all the more. I thought he was an interesting character from the start, but it wasn't until dream thieves, it wasn't until Adam had really really started his character development, that I finally understood. to me, personally, thinking too hard on adam's character was uncomfortable because then I would have to face the reality of life. liking gansey was safer, because he is the prince. the hero. the one you know is going to make it out in the end. the one you're supposed to like. but then Adam, who was supposed to be the side character in gansey's story, makes his own. he becomes the protagonist, takes charge of the story and the narrative - he doesnt just get the title of protagonist, he specifically makes it for himself. and honestly, I dont think adam's absolutely amazing spectacular character development hits as well if you didnt dislike him at the start because, Maggie makes sure you inevitably have an 'oh' moment where you realise that its been about adam parrish all along. its one of the main reasons why I will undoubtedly say Maggie Stiefvater is my favourite author - she is so good at manipulating her readers!

the same goes for declan, I think. we're not supposed to like him, because aside from that one pov he has, we only see him from the perspective of people who don't like him. I personally liked Declan right from the start, but I am in the minority because I know what its like to have to parent your shithead brother because your parents wont. but we were intended to not like declan until we finally saw his story from his pov in the dreamer trilogy. again, expert storytelling by mstief.

(tho if you still dont like declan and adam idk what to tell y'all. maybe reread the book with critical thinking skills?)

and yeah, I have to agree with you there. I have a lot of problems with a lot of things gansey and blue - especially gansey - do (more or less all of dream thieves??? I dont think I will ever forgive gansey for the car convo) but I cant say that makes me hate them exactly, because they are very complex characters.

and yeah dont even get me started on kavinsky. tbh I have his tag blocked and dont ever interact with any k posts. he was gross and disgusting and im glad he died.

[wild-houseplant]

hhhhhh I ran out of tags so quickly ToT I really thought I had more available my golly Anyway the rant continues here!

Them kids of theirs are going to have to marry the spouse of professional chefs or bakers or something... and I feel even then they’d be eating this slice of the baker’s finest plum pie and amid the VERY polite smile their hearts would both sink and become terribly smug because Mum and Dad’s pie is better by a country mile.

Also just? Cooking is great because you’re doing the food stuff, and you’re talking out the kitchen window with the neighbours and passers-by (who consistently half-joke that they hope ‘Stala and Zevvo have put a plate out for them too), and you can dance while you wait for the food to cook and ough the domestic scenes here are so lovely I’m wild about them your honour 8D

and BEACH????? T^T OHHHHH the water must be really good for Astala’s hip, too. Minimal strain on the joint because it’s not weight bearing exercise but it IS fantastic for building muscle and flexibility. Which will also help when they’re out of the water!! Plus everyone extols the virtue of salt water fixing everything and I’m sure that’s no different in Thedas. I imagine the beaches are much cleaner in Antiva than the port of denerim which must delight Astala to no end, too. Crystal-clear water, seeing the fish and plucking up a few gorgeous iridescent shells with Zevvo, who scratches around to find her one with the mollusc still living in it 8D And hey. If it’s edible maybe that goes in the dinner pot that night? impromptu frutti di mare chowder :D ough and those two being defined by-- mostly serious stuff but certainly with a healthy dose of Silly Sausage Hours sounds about right and HONESTLY. With all the stuff they’ve been through (and are going through) collectively and individually they need all those Big Things to get the solid foundation to weather all that. Seriously they must have the wildest workloads of just about anyone on the entire continent-- and those jobs are big enough. They have KIDS they have FAMILY they have the usual spouse gig and that house wont’ take care of itself OUGH. And they STILL have time for the good shit like cooking and hitting the beach and the things that inject a bit of pleasantness into it all.

Honestly I love the take that it’s not all fun and games BUT when the serious stuff comes out it happens privately. There must be so many people that want to undermine that relationship, and being reasonably public figures must put them under a lot of scrutiny. If not from the populace at large, then certainly from people who would love to watch them crumble. They’re so responsible and savvy about the whole thing it’s fantastic!! And as for putting the kids first... well if that isn’t on-brand for those two, I’ll eat my hat. It’s a hard thing to have to plan for but hey. Shit happens. Especially, it seems, if you’re a Crow or a Tabris 8( Also I’m not sure if I was surprised that Astala was the bigger crier of the two simply because I can’t picture her going to tears very often, if at all? I think that’s what it is. To be fair, your average Tabris really Goes Through It, but good for her honestly! Handy that she feels better handling that alone, for both her and Zev’s sakes-- it’s nice to not have to address every single thing that might warrant talking out or whatever (as it would be in Zev’s case handling those emotions). Thank you sooooo so so sos os so much for indulging me!!! You know I love Large Amounts of Lore-- especially when it comes to Astala my dearly beloved UuU What a treasure she is!! And what a treasure you are for showering me with the good stuff!! :D :D :D :D

HI hello I saw you share that ship ask game and I have come PREPARED with multiple rounds if permitted 😈😈😈😈😈

So if I may, for Astala (my beloved!!!!!) and Zev (her beloved!!!) Can I please ask:

- 4

- 10

- 23

And/or

- 37

You know the drill, best beloved. As many or few as you like, but the warning remains: allow me to pester you further and by God I'll do it 🤣🤣 hope you have a gorgeous day!!!

Hello my chlorophyll-filled friend!! The asks are permitted and encouraged!! I love talking about these guys XD XD XD Buckle up, this is a long one. Let's go!

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Both! They are both big on physical affection. Astala loves little casual touches, hugs, hooking arms or holding hands, leaning her head on Zevran's shoulder, or just bending over him and letting herself get heavy like a sack of potatoes. Zevran finds a font of neverending delight in casually affectionate touches that aren't means to an end and just exist because it's nice or because affection for him exists and moves Astala to express it.

As for other signs of affection, Zevran is the one who jumps to verbal affection quicker, and is very good at making Astala start blushing and grinning brightly. Astala's however pack a punch; she gets terribly serious and sappy, and Zevran needs a bit to recover from the onslaught of sweet words whenever the flood is set loose. Astala is quicker to jump to acts of service and little gifts: a food Zevran likes, a trinket that caught her eye and reminded her of him, that sort of things. This doubles when they are away; Astala makes sure to include something nice in almost every letter, and Zevran answers in kind.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

They share a passion for cooking and baking and generally making edible things! Food is a bit thing for them (yey for growing up without enough to go around) and one of the way they connect and share affection is by making sure the other is eating plenty good food. They both put on a healthy layer of fat once they retire from adventuring.

Fighting and swordplay is also something they share. While learned out of necessity and not always associated with the nicest memories, they do like to get out their weapons and spar from time to time. It keeps them sharp, it's fun, and, in Zevran's words, it gets the blood pumping. They also love to dance together. The injuries Astala has sustained from the Archdemon seriously limit the days they can do either of those things, but sometimes she'll take a worse pain day just for the chance of dancing or sparring with Zevran. Both are activities where they can take joy in each others' abilities, and that also require a certain amount of trust in each other (especially sparring, but also dancing with Astala's bad hip). And it's just fun.

Another thing they share is a love for the sea and warmer climates. Once they settle down in Antiva, they go to the beach or the shore often, take walks, run into the waves. Astala teaches Zevran how to properly ride the waves as they come into the shore. Zevran teaches Astala where to find the best seashells and stones. Sometimes they both just sit and soak in the sun or listen to the waves. They find that enjoying these things together makes them more beautiful (and, in turn, when they're not together, the sea makes them terribly nostalgic).

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

Loyalty - They've gone through a lot together, and while they can and do stay apart, breaking apart the relationship in any way would break a significant part of themselves. Technically, they could do it, but it would be an ugly and very bloody process. So, together they stay, and they watch over their relationship like a hawk.

Trust and teamwork - Look, when you're the Hero of Ferelden and the Black Shadow, you have to be able to trust your spouse and know they will have your back no matter what. Sure, they hold each other accountable and argue, but that happens exclusively behind closed doors. That is private. They have each others' backs first and foremost.

Respect and admiration - They are both very capable individuals and they know it. A big part of their ability to teamwork is knowing what each of them is good at: Astala has a solid head for plans and for keeping a group together and coordinated, Zevran is very good at making plans become reality and at improvising. A big part of having each others' back, without question, is also their respect for each others' autonomy and decision-making capabilities, even when the other doesn't agree with the decision that has been made. This is a quality asked of them when Zevran goes to Antiva; Astala would rather have him at the Vigil and safe, and Zevran would rather she didn't throw herself into her work as arlessa the way she does (and didn't neglect investigating a plot to assassinate her???? Astala PLEASE!!) But Zevran let her go and kill the Archdemon, and Astala has carried them through the Blight like nobody else could have. They remind each other of that when something the other does makes cold, cold dread settle in their guts. On top of that, the admiration goes past admiration for mere skill. Zevran especially is a master at looking at things and enjoying them as they are. Astala, too, has developed an ability to see beauty wherever she goes. It serves them well, especially when their relationship is going through a rough patch, to remember what they like about each other and rediscover each other anew.

Lots of silly moments - And I mean lots of them. Poking each other, making jokes about other people (where other people can't hear them, obviously), pulling one on their kids, messing with the other Wardens, climbing a roof to sit on the rooftop, you name it. Their silly bones are very well developed, bless them 😌😌 Zevran swears it keeps them young, and he isn't wrong at all.

Kids come first - They had that talk before taking in Virel, Perinella and Carlo. The kids come first. If there's not enough food to go around, if they're being attacked and need to get to safety, if they're in mortal danger but the kids are in danger too, if they have an unexpected day off and are deciding what they should do, if work is getting busy, the kids go first. That is not to say that they don't take some of their free days and go out on a date. Or that they wouldn't do crazy, stupid, reckless things for each other if they were in danger. Or that work doesn't keep them tied to the table or out of the house for too long sometimes. But, on principle, the kids come first. If one of them is bleeding out on the floor and the other is with the kids, the other has to get the kids to safety. They promised each other that.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Astala, but they both have their days. Astala in general is more comfortable with expressing emotions like grief, sadness, exhaustion disappointment and frustration (even though she's not as free in that expression as she could be). Zevran, by his upbringing, keeps a tight lid on all of that. Tears might even make him uncomfortable at first if they manage to reach that soft part of his heart that he has tried and failed to harden. Astala tries not to cry in front of him at first, because she can sense his discomfort and also prefers to cry in private, but with time the holds on both their emotions ease.

I will say though, Zevran cries of happiness more often than Astala. Happiness gets overwhelming.

-

And that's the answers!! Kudos to you if you've taken the time to read through all of this XD XD XD XD It has become a bit longer than I thought, but that's what we're here for. More information!!

Hope you have a lovely day Plant!! Thank you for indulging me!! I love these two buggers so much

[masterhandss]

Hamefura Ep. 11 - The Geordo Kiss Scene

I’m surprised. The anime production team really does butcher Geordo’s character, to the point where scenes from the original materials are unloyal or the scenes that they do add don’t fit with his character. Shockingly this episode is one of the few moments where they get it right. Ironically, I was waiting for this episode in hopes that they wouldn't change anything in this scene, but apparently not changing anything in of itself is the new problem.

For once, the scene that people don’t like is from the canon material instead of being an anime original. huh, would you look at that.

I don’t know if this scene was included in the original web novel, and I don’t exactly know how to check, but to those who are asking on their tags and posts, yes this scene is in the light novel (Volume 2 Side Story p. 273, according to my copy). It’s that scene that everyone keeps asking me context about. 

There’s so much I want to say, but I know there’s nothing that I can really do to excuse this scene. Realistically, I can see why people would hate this scene because of the lack and consent and the image that Geordo might be taking advantage of the situation. Maybe anime and fiction has altered my perception of what’s okay and not okay in the real world, but I understand that while a kiss without consent might be romantic in anime, in the real world it’s creepy and can be considered as sexual assault.

I’m mostly writing this to share with everyone why I think this scene is okay, as a light novel reader who was waiting (but didn’t expect) for this scene to get animated. 

I know there’s nothing I can really say to defend this scene to everyone, but you know, have some context anyway.

It’s important to note that while the anime seems to have left it out, it says in the light novels that if Katarina condition is bad because if she remained asleep and didn’t intake any food or water for days, that’s when her body will become weak and slowly die. It’s sort of implied in the anime, but without it being stated verbally, you might not know that this isn’t just a matter of her not waking up anymore.

My mom is a doctor, and she said that a person would like at least 9 days without food or water. The information changed based on where you look, so of course my mom might not completely accurate, but here’s what it says when I look it up on google. 

You can go without food for a long time, but water is the problem. Again, researchers vary depending on where you look, but the general rule of thumb is that a person can last for 3 days without water, depending on their age and nutritional necessity. 

Alan (i think?? don’t correct me lol) noted that Katarina has been for 2 days.

I don’t know about you guys, but I eat a lot. I’m so used to eating a lot that if I skip two meals, my hunger is so bad that it gets in the way of me doing normal things. That could just be me of course, some people can go a day without eating and getting hungry after all. Without the medical equipment today to take care if me if I ever got into a state of comma, I would probably die within 3 days.

But we’re talking about Katarina here. She, who is always hungry and is always looking for something to snack on. I get that this is an anime/fictional series so they can play out the hunger bit to an unrealistic degree, but if we’re going to put the Geordo Kiss Scene to real world standards, then I think it’s only fair that we do that to Katarina’s metabolism as well, to some extent. Apparently an unconscious person’s energy depletion is very very slow so there’s no danger of her getting as hungry as she does when she’s awake, but you know that’s still something worth nothing

Anne was trying to feed her some water in hopes that her situation might change, but also because she’s aware that the lack of water intake might kill her before the lack of food intake, which is obviously why she is prioritizing water. 

I don’t know if anyone else got the same idea, but I got the implication that she had been trying for a while, but the water keeps slipping out of her mouth, like it was shown in the anime. It’s not like they have any dextrose in the world of hamefura, so there’s not a lot of ways that Anne can feed her water. 

And then we arrive at the kiss scene. 

Geordo, who realized thanks to Anne that her lack of food and water might do her in, take the water and uses his own mouth to feed Katarina with water. It’s important to note that unlike Anne’s attempts, Geordo’s worked, and (you guys might find this even more creepy but) he did it several times in order to provide her with the water that she lost in those two days.

Again, I can see why people might think that he took advantage of the situation, but I just didn’t get that impression. I saw it as reverse CPR in a way, and someone on the hamefura reddit discord said it was more like a mother bird feeding it’s chicks with its own mouth. 

They don’t know when Katarina will wake up, and again dextrose probably doesn’t exist in hamefura so they have no means to feed her. It felt like a desperate attempt to feed her rather than anything malicious. I mean this isn’t about kissing her because he loves her, it’s a matter of kissing her in order to have her drink water. 

I guess it’s kind of hard to put myself in the headspace of those who hated this scene, because I thought it was fine, but I always thought that the reasoning (feeding her water so she wont get dehydrated) overpowered the subtle creepiness of the scene (kissing her without consent). That might just be me. 

He didn’t do it with any malicious intent in mind, and did it because he was too scared to lose her. 

Of course, people who did read that scene in the LN might bring up the fact that after the scene (or flashback, as it was in the LN), Geordo does reminisce about the experience and hoped to have kissed her more, or what i’ll call as the “Post- Comatose Scene” and yeah okay that did feel kinda creepy, but he thought of that while being in the presence of the entire harem, watching them as they try to take away Katarina’s attention. 

He thought of it like that because the post-scene was about him monologue-ing about Katarina’s relationships with everyone and how she’s being taken away father from him by his friends. I think i’d like to excuse that post-scene because at that time, his irritation for the harem and desire to become closer to winning Katarina over was taking over his mind. He thought of it with the desire to bring himself a few steps ahead of the others. 

It’s a bit shitty that he even thought of using the event as a way to bring himself higher than the others, but at the post-scene it’s been a long time since the episode’s events happened so to some extent you can say that his anger and desperation clouded his judgement. 

He never really brags about this event to anyone, and never advertised it as his or Katarina’s first kiss. He never really thought of it as one until weeks after the situation with Sirius ended. Their real first kiss is the one that happens later into the series. 

Anyways, I know lots of people would still find problems with the scene regardless, but I just want people o know that this scene is in fact in the light novels and is canon. If you didn’t like this, well you guys might not like the other kiss scenes that are coming, if there will ever be an adaption of Volume 3

(might edit this if I remember anything I can add)

[jacksjoke]

Title: someone here loves you Pairing: Mork and Pi, Mork and Mueang Nan Summary: Pre-series into episode 1 character speculation Ao3 link

     Mork likes to think that he’s got a skill in reading people. His talents prove handy in pretty much any situation Mork could find himself in, and after years of relationships avoided that Mork could tell would’ve ended on an unfortunate note (romantic or otherwise), he fancies his skills sharper than most others’. Thanks to him, his younger sister had turned down the date of a boy in her class who’d later ended up trying to steal goods from a local shop; and he’d successfully coached one of his old high school friends on how to end a friendship that he wasn’t happy in. So yes, Mork’s fairly confident.

     On the other side of that, whether it be metaphorical or literal, Mork doesn’t like to be under a spotlight. He prefers to be the guy on the sidelines cheering on his friend rather than having to be the poor sucker bombarded by obsessive fans. Mork, in his time as Mueang Nan’s closest friend, has come to see that this isn’t an exaggeration. Mork rarely uploads content on social media, Mueang Nan posts at least one update per day. Mork’s account is private and although he has a lot of followers, he hasn’t reciprocated in kind. Mueang Nan is public and his posts always receive at least 200 comments from strangers, while Mork will get 50 from people he’s spoken to in person.

     He doesn’t fault Mueang Nan at all; he grew up in a remote northern village where he hadn’t had a mobile, barely a television, so for Mueang Nan to enjoy social media to the extent he does is totally fair. Even if he hadn’t grown up the way he did, Mork wouldn’t fault Mueang Nan for something as small as liking Instagram or Facebook.

     It doesn’t matter, at the end of the day, because his well-honed talent has already told Mork that Mueang Nan is a genuinely good guy. Out of anyone, Ai’Nan actually deserves to be as well-liked as he is, and on Mork’s end he’s content to live on the blurred edges of relative obscurity than be made daily the center of a stampede. He’ll leave Mueang Nan to pseudo-celebrity life and remain virtually invisible by his side. That’s ideal, really.

     But a boy nudges his glasses further up his nose, tugging red-bitten lips between his bracketed teeth in a bout of nerves, and within a moment, the fellow first-year knows that if no one else ever knew who Mork was here or anywhere, he’d want this boy to know.

     It’s orientation, as cliché as that may be, where Mork first sees Pi. As a fellow first year, Mork hasn’t met Mueang Nan or really anyone that he’d feel inclined to befriend, and so catching sight of Pi in the crowd of anxious freshers lands a hit square into Mork’s chest. He can’t see his name-tag, blocked in as he is by other students, but to see him here in the sciences is proof enough that they’ll at least share one or two classes.

     And Mork is so happy to be correct. The dentistry student’s name is Pattawee, commonly Pi, and he’s nothing like any crush Mork’s ever had before. He often spots Pi in conversation with another boy, occasions which generally end in elbows thrown into each other’s chests or Pi dragged down into a headlock. Pi’s raucous laughter imprints upon Mork’s thoughts to prompt unbidden smiles from him, and Mork can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed. The boys are obviously nothing more than friends, so Mork wants to hold onto the hope that Pi is single. He keeps a consistent eye on him both in class and out, and never has he seen Pi spend time with anyone else on campus. Whether or not Mork will ever stop being a loser and talk to him before he is taken by someone else remains to be seen.

     Well, they have spoken, per se, though not at any great length. Pi favours the back row in lectures, Mork always sits nearer to the front; and half the time, Pi packs his bag in record speed and is darting from the room before Mork has even closed his notebook. All this adds up to the unfortunate fact that opportunities for Mork to ‘coincidentally’ run into Pi are pretty much nill. The one time he’d managed to run into Pi had been unfortunately literal.

     Mork had been glancing at his phone for the time and it was enough of a distraction that he’d stepped out into the hallway and directly onto Pi’s ankles. To Mork’s credit, Pi had paused in front of the door to adjust a stubborn zipper on his backpack and directly blocked Mork’s path (a miracle if Mork’s ever seen one). Rather than the usual meet-cute a romantic might expect, Pi had spun on Mork with an affronted air and hissed, “You can’t see me here?”

     “You’re in the middle of the doorway!” Mork had pointed out, his mouth moving faster than his brain. Pi snorted and spun away with a glare as though Mork was the problem here, and there ended Mork’s first and thus far last conversation with his crush. That was four months ago in February.

     By the week following Valentine’s Day, Mork begins to suspect that Pi is plotting his murder, as everywhere Mork goes, Pi appears as well. Only at the beginning of this month, Pi’s behaviour would’ve thrilled Mork. But now he recognises Pi’s comments on Mueang Nan’s Instagram, and he can see that Pi’s giddy attention slides right past Mork to Mueang Nan. If he deigns Mork with a look, it’s one of disdain and annoyance, at best. Mork doesn’t have to be a genius people-reader to know that his crush… is crushing on his closest friend.

     Mueang Nan doesn’t know, of course. He assumes everyone is just incredibly friendly, so any special treatment he receives tends to go over his head. Pi’s also never spoken to Mueang Nan in real life, likely similar to Mork’s own inability due to general nerves. It’s sort of surprising to Mork, considering Pi doesn’t come across as someone afraid of anything or wont to give in to anyone’s demands. But for as much as he trails after Mueang Nan (and by extension, Mork), Pi hasn’t yet said a word, and neither has Mork about his true feelings.

     Hands shoved in his pockets, Mork is just entering the building for a morning class when he hears murmuring from a nearby hallway. He pauses in his steps to look and —

     “It doesn’t sound sincere,” Pi complains to himself. “Nan, I know you like choux cream desserts…” The dentistry student is stood there with a box in his hands and talking to the wall. Mork would say that’s the strangest thing he’s seen Pi do, but that’d be a lie.

     Their last spoken interaction hadn’t been the greatest and, since then, Pi’s only ever shot daggers via sneer Mork’s way, his certainty that Mork wants to ‘steal’ Mueang Nan of no help on that end. Maybe choosing to sit back silently isn’t helping either. If Pi already dislikes him so vehemently, what’s a little teasing going to hurt?

     “I know you like them,” he says near Pi’s ear, “so I stole some for you.”

     Mork comes to find within moments that it can go very badly, actually. He ends up alone in the hallway, his handkerchief covered in clotted dessert cream, and asking why luck has screwed him once again. (Probably his attempt at a joke is what screwed him, but he’s going to ignore that for now.)

     Pi is insistent that Mork is out to get him, so convinced as he is that Mork’s goal in life is to destroy Pi’s, but Mork knows he can’t let this go. Pi is already thoroughly blinded himself against Mork to the extent that there’s really no way Mork could tell him the truth and be taken with sincerity. Anything he says is seen as a dig, so how can Mork help if Pi doesn’t trust him? He isn’t about to out his best friend, but Mueang Nan isn’t interested in dating or anything of the sort. He’s always kind to Pi because that’s who he is, and he’s never one to decline a new friend, but… this won’t have the happy ending Pi has been hoping for.

     If Pi continues down this road, Mork knows he’s only going to be hurt and disappointed until the day he’s honest with Mueang Nan and met with the truth of why. And if Pi’s going to be hurt, which Mork would never want, maybe he can put in some effort to… redirect his affection? It’s sort of self-serving, but Mork will say instead that he’s baking two pies with one oven: make Pi like him and thereby willingly move on from Mueang Nan, never having to be hurt at all.

     He recalls Pi’s doe-eyed gaze behind his glasses that morning and thinks that maybe there’s a chance. Once he really knows Mork, maybe he’ll be swayed. Maybe.

     Mork has to give thanks to Mueang Nan’s obsession with posting status updates because tonight’s brings about another miracle: Pi comes to the club. Mork knows he’s there for Mueang Nan, but if he intercepts him on the way in, who’s going to call him on that?

     He hangs back for a moment as the bouncer gives Pi a quirked, disinterested eyebrow. He can’t blame him entirely when Pi’s wearing his shirt tucked in with worn-out sneakers, but as always, Mork finds Pi’s authentic personality charming. He throws an arm over Pi and revels in the feeling of his classmate brushing his waist, again when he pivots Pi away from an oncoming tray of drinks. And there again are Pi’s wide eyes on him, making Mork almost forget that they’re in a hallway that smells mostly of stale smoke and strangers.

     He takes pictures of Mueang Nan and Pi to be helpful and show the latter that he is in support of, not against, Pi’s crush, because that’s the truth even if it isn’t the whole truth. He stands beside Pi at the table; one, because he wants to and two, as further proof that he isn’t the one here with a crush on Mueang Nan. Mork thinks that it’s going perfectly fine until Pi shoots him a look full to the brim with something too close to dejected for Mork’s liking before fleeing the scene.

     He finds Pi in a pile of garbage beside the dumpster, and his heart jumps where it hides behind his ribs. How the hell had this happened in the two minutes Pi had been away from them? But when Mork tries to express his sincere sympathy, Pi just snaps, “You convinced Mueang Nan to take pictures with me because you want people to look down on me!” and Mork’s at a loss. That can’t be possible. Who in the world could look down on someone as unapologetically obstinate as Pi?

     “People look down on you? Who?” Mork asks, sure that if he had names he’d clear up this misunderstanding. If ‘clearing up’ entails his beating them into the concrete and/or possibly suing for slander, that’s his prerogative.

     But Pi just shoves him off and leaves in a cloud of anger, on his face the very hurt that Mork had planned to avoid. Instagram proves Pi’s point to a devastating degree. Pi is seen as pathetic, like he said. Pi. Loud, courageous Pi… who acts out to avoid being confronted as the timid loser everyone sees him as.

     Later that night, his washed handkerchief hanging between his fingers, it occurs to Mork that he might not be as good at reading people as he thought.

     “I’m sorry, Pi.”

[quillquiver]

Feel free not to answer I just wanted to say I think the whole approach to "season 16" is very much so an age thing. I PROMISE that's not me calling you old lol I just mean a lot of people who are super into it are in their late teens/early 20s and a lot of the people who are super not into it are late twenties/thirties/whatever. I say this as someone in their early twenties having a blast. I think it might have something to do with how fandom/the ways fans interact with the works is evolving, like me and a bunch of us were on spn tumblr as 13/14/15-year-olds and grew up with that old tumblr energy that invited this sort of mania, whereas people who were older at the time or had been in other fandom spaces before didn't really participate in that. I think a lot of us are very self aware and "tinhat" because it's legitimately fun for us. I'm not criticizing you at all because I totally get what you're feeling, your posts on it just made me think a lot about this.

No, this is great! I am definitely from a different generation of fans - and I’ve noticed a divide in age as well. I guess I’m just curious how people have the energy? Or is it that things aren’t taken so personally?

For context: when I started in fandom, it was something that had an element of seriousness and responsibility because it had to be - it wasn’t something talked about, and you didn’t flaunt yourself because you didn’t want to drawn attention to yourself or the community for legitimate fear of getting your shit taken down and being slapped with a lawsuit. I started at the very, very end of that, and because it was hard to find, and because there was community responsibility involved, there was a code of conduct that had to be learned and adhered to. So like, being a fan is serious to me, and it’s an important part of my identity.

I have been in SPN fandom for the better part of a decade, and on tumblr for longer than that. So I know that energy! It’s great! I just feel that it’s shifted from motivating fanworks to encouraging this weird grief spiral, where everyone constantly seems to be angry and upset, and then couch those emotions in social justice in order to legitimize them - when, to my mind, feeling them should be legitimizing enough! Fucking revel in your emotions, this is a space built to process them, specifically. We made a space for ourselves to do that.

I guess I feel like a lot of engagement in fandom just feels very high stakes now, when it used to be this really nice, low-stakes environment way more conducive to relaxation. Sure, there would be serious drama that would kick up every now and then, but it was never sustained like this. I saw posts of people who seemed to be legitimately upset there was no new drama from the KoC podcast - and I’m confused, because before 15x18, drama was something we all generally agreed to try and avoid. Or at least, we knew exactly who was wont to create it and steered clear if that wasn’t our thing.

But this is everywhere. I’m not kidding; I have probably unfollowed more people than I ever have because I’m trying to get my dash somewhere back to normal and nothing is working. Almost every other post across my dash involves some kind of academic theory or willingly buys into network conspiracy--Jensen’s silence is sexy, but given the atmosphere in the fandom right now, is anyone actually surprised he or Misha haven’t spoken up? No one knows what their NDAs look like, and if it were me, I’d keep my trap shut out of sheer self-preservation. 

And like, I love tinhatting. I have been cockles a cockles tinhatter for a long-ass time and I enjoy the hell out of it. But - and I’m definitely gonna sound old here - I feel like there’s an element of respect, not only for the cast, but honestly, mostly for the community at large, that seems to have been obliterated in the SPN renaissance. I think that because lots of young folks grew up at a time where fandom was generally widely accepted, and now are being catered to, and they have forgotten that this is an actual community, and that what one person does reflects on all of us. Tagging the cast in shippy posts? A big no-no. Because I can tell you right now that the person you’re tagging might see your username and think of you as an individual, but you are part of a community that has been Perceived for a long-time, and your behaviour reflects on alllllll of us. 

And last thing, I swear, but like. The posts. The posts that just say the same thing in different words: from different blogs, from the same blogs, all with this air of manic self-importance that ratchets my anxiety up to 11.... what is with that??? These things rack up hundreds of notes and I am mystified because not only have we covered this years ago, we covered this last week and the post is dated 30mins ago. There’s this obsession with being right and finding the truth and being smart and just rehashing that over and over and it’s exhausting to me. 

And I know I am currently coming off as an old fart who’s complaining about young people and screaming get off my lawn but I am genuinely curious: Is it that I just take things very personally? Is it that everything rolls off you loyal s16 followers? How the hell do you have the energy for this? Don’t you want to process your grief? Are you grieving? How do you interact with works? Like, how, from your perspective, is that changing? 

These are legitimate questions, and this was very long, so if you’re reading this I’m sorry. 

[emrys-rusts]

pls do pavel 15, 25 and 28 for the ask game 😩

• Who is their best friend?

I'll just say it right off the bat- Pavel doesn't have many friends, if any at all. None of the brothers have many close friends at first actually, that is in their early childhood. But as the other brothers do get their somewhat very close friends, Pavel sort of stays alone in that aspect. Untill the age of 11-12 he spends most of his time with his brothers, (because reasons I wont talk about now jsbdjd) and as he finally enters school he realises he doesn't know how to make friends. Since this is school, a place with a bunch of hormonal pre-teens, Pavels expirience isn't very pleasent. He has epilepsy (caused by severe stress in childhood I wont elaborate on) so he looks rather sickly and ridiculous under teen standards, plus his heritage which everyone knows about thanks to Grigory (fuck you dude) so he gets...bullied (He starts applying womans perfume and other stuff which doesnt help with the name calling at all but he grows to like it and decides to not give a fuck) He is also deemed as stupid, which he can't stand. He grows extremely bitter towards people and this continues on (not the bullying per-say, mostly the social distancing) untill he enters university, where he is sort of friends with Katerina but he views himself more of a tag-along sibling of Ivans, who visits Katerina a lot. Also, Ivan has a cat, Polina and they share a funny love-hate relationship but in the end they respect and might even love eachother <3

Only after he bolts out of college he meets Antoine on the literal streets who drags him into a whole another personal mess. Antoine has friends of his own who grow to like pavel quite a lot and Pavel basically gets adopted by a bunch of almost homeless university people who live the Raskolnikov lifestyle. Pavel is the rich guy amongst them, he teaches them ✨style✨. And they dont mind his constant rambling/complaining. That's around his age of 22-23, the canon timeline.

Also Antoine and Pavel are like, super huge gay just so you know yeah.

• How do they handle being complimented? 

Dude he will flip you off at first as if its nothing, play the cocky bastard or when caught unexpected, like if you compliment him and you are not Alyosha, good job, he is a bit flustered and stuttery now. (He looks very pretty when flustered, the rosy blush against his pale complexion is very gender). What he will always end up doing though, is repay you with a small favour, like taking care of your flowers, playing you a song with his guitar, simply conversing with you on your favorite topic etc.

He can't take being uncivil, he is a gentleman at heart, plus he always feels extreme grattitude and has the need to repay a tenfold because of his self-worth problems. (Its yet another thing he has in common with Alyosha). The most peculiar thing is that he would sometimes forget about a time someone complimented him, but still feel as if "yes! This person deserves a nice dish today or a gardening of flowers etc." because the grattitude is impaled somewhere in the back of his mind. He won't do this just for anyone though, if you are stranger who walks up to him saying "wow your hair looks great" he'd be all "why does this fucker think I dont know that already lmao"

• Are they very political?

I wouldn't say political on personal level, he just knows A LOT of political stuff, since he and Ivan like to have the most evil big brained discussions about God, politics, nature, and existence as a whole. They especially favour the subject of God and they do of course, almost always, mix political topics with the God ones. Pavel is neutral at first, whilst Ivan does have his few opinions, but this of course changes over time in the course of the story.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

^^ thank you to the person who sent me this msg btw 🥺❤️ genuinely appreciate it (and dw, this didn't sound like a lecture at all, it just sounded like empathy, which I appreciated <3)

But also just wanna take a second to clarify a few things:

Basically, a few days ago, i saw some post, got a bit ~cheesed off~ and decided i was just. fuckin. through. with you beatle bitches.

And so then i logged off for a few days, just to think things through and take a break - and the conclusion ive come to is that im not gonna quit Tumblr, but I just dont wanna be apart of the fandom anymore. My page probably isn't gonna look any different, its just my experience in navigating this account is gonna be different. So essentially, its probably only gonna affect me. Its mostly just gonna be me keeping off the tags and stuff like that - my posts will still be basically the same tho.

Largely for me, its the mcl*nnon community, which btw doesn’t account for every single person in that community; believe whatever you believe about J&P because its basically besides the point here - theres just a few layers of, I dont know, ideologies maybe? that ive really grown to resent about a lot of people within the fandom. And ill explain that in more detail another time, because i just feel like i have to get it all off my chest y'know, but for now ill just leave it at that.

But its also just largely on a personal level, where i dont feel like people like me in this online community - and thats really not me trying to call people to my inbox to say “omg no i luv u!!!” - cause like, id appreciate the sentiment, but it wont change anything, cause its my own issue. Like me saying “nobody likes me” isn’t self-pity or a cry for help, its more-so just acknowledging that thats how i feel. And plus, I don’t feel like nobody likes me, cause theres people on this site who i would genuinely consider myself friends with, and who i think do actually like talking to me. But its really just that I don’t feel like most of the fandom like me, and tbh, ive realised that thats fine. There was a time where it bothered me, but now that ive decided that im just not gonna be apart of the actual “fandom” anymore, I dunno, i just feel a lot more liberated and theres a lot less pressure, and this is genuinely just my account now.

And to be completely honest, I could create a persona thats more likeable - but I just think, whats the point? Like I dont want to just write up whatever people want to hear, just to get some extra notes. It doesn't matter in the end. I just wanna post whatever I wanna post - if you like my opinions and personality and what-have-you, then thats groovy :) if you dont, then thats fine as well. I genuinely just do not care anymore, and thats a very nice feeling.

Also, on another note, ive unfollowed virtually everyone (i think i was following around 1300 accounts before, now im following about 150? - so if you see me following you in the next month or so, and you think “huh thats strange” then like, dw, its not personal i was just unfollowing everyone without putting any thought into it cause Too Many Accounts so I just clicked UNFOLLOW for basically everyone).

so TLDR - im in my "get back to where you once belonged" era

[darkelite020]

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they

had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I

can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.

[sokumotanaka]

From reading your tumblr, I get the feeling you are a bit too attached to RWBY. Sure it's a bad show, and I enjoy ragging on it for being a complete failure in writing on every conceivable level, but you seem to get physically angry at the show's failings. It's just not worth the effort. If you want to make fun of it, then go ahead. But the way I see it, no sense in getting worked up over a badly-written webtoon. Just accept it and move on. Just some friendly advice.

Quite presumptuous aren’t we? And condescending. I’ll assume you mean well and give you the benefit of the doubt.

Well @sherpawool If you must know, like yourself I also enjoy ragging on it myself, I may come off as angry but that’s only cause I know the show as potential, my discord talks about it alot; which outside the scope of my tumblr post which mostly are my first impressions.

vvv read more vvv

 I shouldn’t have to explain myself to a rando but I find talking about rwby fascinating in all honesty, I enjoy having deep conversations about it’s flaws with friends and occasionally going into its world and lore on my post.

 What I get angry at is when a Stan gets actually worked up and upset over my opinions or jokes, do you people actually think I expect RT to pay me on my behalf? If you genuinely get angry at that well those people just come out looking silly when their nitpicks and rebuttals fall to “you’re an idiot for wanting to be paid.” Trust me guys I know you watch RWBY and the characters dont think but you guys dont have to emulate them, I’m not expecting a check in the mail.

 I hate snobby attitudes, people who come up and try to pick fights over a cartoon, Who act high and mighty or try to state that this is some secret plan the writers are cooking up and you just have to be patient; you wanna do me a favor? Talk to these people and get them to not engage with the criticism tag.

 If I genuinely hated rwby? I wouldn’t dedicate time into trying to fix it, Draw OC’s with friends, (this is my faunus maiden I made with most of the discord back in the day. I drew her cause I just thought of her and missed her.)

 I wouldn’t engage them in conversation about it, do I have certain aspects about the canon? Absolutely! I wont support RT in fact I stopped watching vol 6 all the information I get is from friends. My reaction post, made from my present reactions and thoughts do not reflect me wholly as a person.  I think we’re all more nuanced than that and I wouldn’t get to understand rwby fans thoughts if I didn’t bother trying to get to know some, I just like many don't like jackasses.

Think of it this way, you can enjoy junk food but still dislike when it’s prepared poorly, I like rwby to a degree, but regardless of what you or anyone says I will ralf at how they handled and STILL are trying to handle racism and I think I’m within my right to express it.

 In the end I think I’ll still talk about rwby with friends, dispense critique if needed, and do what I enjoy, cause I genuinely think the flaws and writing are fascinating and if that really upsets you I’ll tell you what I tell everyone to kindly block me and move on. 

 Thanks for reading.