#i wonder what chappell roans second secret is

[vexedtonightmares]

chappell roan spotted at target with a copy of the dream thieves

[strangererotica]

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Cooper Adams x Reader • Includes themes of violence, murder, blood is mentioned often, period sex, infidelity, oral sex (m&f receiving) Reader and Cooper are both certified freaks seven days a week

You’d suspected for awhile.

You’d wondered even longer.

The question you’d wanted to ask Cooper had sat silent on your tongue so long, you’d have sworn you could taste it by now.

Even still, no amount of wondering could have prepared you for this moment: standing face to blood-streaked face with the man you loved, the question on your tongue quietly dying as it no longer needed answering-

Cooper Adams, your boyfriend, was The Butcher…

He stood still, lingering in the doorway, the one at the back of the house. Cooper had brought you here a couple of times, to smoke and fuck; and each time, he’d always brought you through that door, the one less likely to draw attention from neighbors. The house was isolated, but not completely. With Cooper being a married man, you’d understood his concerns and hadn’t objected to being brought in through the back of the house. Now however, it was obvious that he used the back door to conceal a much darker secret than his infidelity.

His left eye twitched, lips forced into a placating smile that chilled you to your core. “(Y/N)?” Cooper began, his voice wavering. “What are you doing here?” You swallowed as cracks in Cooper’s fake smile began to reveal themselves. Heavy rain pelted the ground behind him, lightning briefly illuminating his silhouette, tall and intimidating. He tightened his grip on the duffel bag slung over his shoulder; the sudden movement made you flinch, which Cooper found amusing.

Blood caked his jeans and the plaid flannel button-down he wore. His hair was tossed to the sides of his face, except for a few strands that seemed to be matted against his forehead with sweat. Cooper’s jaw was tight, the muscles in his neck flexing as he chewed the inside of his mouth, thinking. He’d have to get rid of you now, and that upset him. Cooper had enjoyed you, and not just fucking you. He’d grown fond of your dark sense of humor and the way both your mind and his seemed to play well with each other.

If he was being totally honest with himself, Cooper could even admit that he loved you. He’d confided in you, shared secrets of his past, his traumatic upbringing, the way he’d never been accepted by his mother or anyone else for that matter, until meeting his wife. And later, meeting you.

Your histories and minds were similar, in so many ways. Unfortunately, you’d proven yourself too clever for your own good…too clever to keep alive.

Cooper sighed, his insincere smile returning. “This is going to hurt,” he said, nodding for emphasis. “I mean that, (Y/N).” He took a step toward you; you shifted backward. “And I’m not even talking about the pain,” he continued. “Not the kind you’ll feel…” Cooper removed something from the bag, his eyes fixed on yours. It took you a second to identify the knife in his hand; it was so caked with partially-dried blood, you could barely make out what it was.

“…I’m talking about the pain I’ll feel,” Cooper continued, bringing the soiled knife to rest against his chest. “Here…in my heart.” He kicked his heel against the door, closing it behind him with a loud thud. You jumped, recoiling at the sound. Cooper held his hands tensed at his sides, the knife tucked under his right thumb. “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, taking another step closer. You didn’t back away this time; your mind was racing for a solution, for a way to make Cooper understand that killing you wasn’t necessary.

“Then don’t,” you told him, trying to sound brave. You hoped he couldn’t see you trembling, couldn’t hear the plea in your next words even as you tried to suppress it: “Don’t kill me, Cooper…”

His expression was bittersweet, a resigned sigh leaving his chest. “They all say that,” Cooper told you, his voice eerily calm. “None of them want to die, (Y/N). They all beg me not to kill them.” He changed his voice to a slightly higher pitch, imitating his victims. “ ‘Don’t kill me, please…I’ll do anything, please…Just let me go, I won’t tell anyone’ .” Cooper’s free hand shot out and grabbed you by the wrist, tugging you into him, erasing the remaining space between you. “What makes you think you’re any different from the rest of the people I’ve murdered?” he glared down at you.

A tear rolled down your cheek, so hot it burned. “I’m different because I love you, Cooper,” you told him. And you meant it. His grip on your wrist softened immediately, the tension in his jaw easing. “I don’t care that you’re The Butcher, or whatever stupid nickname they’ve given you,” you continued. “I accept you. Cooper, I love you.” A few seconds passed in silence. “Have any of the others ever said that?”

Cooper’s eyebrows were drawn together in concentration as he wrestled with the conflicting messages inside him. One said to protect himself by ending your life. The second option was much more tempting for Cooper, to grant you the mercy of life, a privilege which he alone now held.

Cooper pressed his lips to the top of your head, his knife ghosting your cheek as he used the hand that held it to stroke your hair. His breath was heavy, his chest rumbling against your cheek as he spoke. “What am I going to do with you?” Cooper asked. It wasn’t a question at all, not really. You lifted your chin, eyes fixed on Cooper’s, tilting your head so the blade in his hand was deliberately primed against your throat. An offering up, not of surrender, but of submission. He’d seen his share of tears, heard more than enough screams to fill his ears a lifetime; but the way your resistance melted in front of him touched something in Cooper that hadn’t been touched in a long time, if ever. Faced with the darkest part of his soul, you still accepted him.

You placed a hand tentatively on Cooper’s forearm, where the sleeves of his shirt were rolled to his elbows. While his hands were clean from wearing gloves, Cooper’s forearms were spattered with blood, a viscous crimson syrup drying in the tufts of hair lining his skin. He repeated his question, a huskier, seductive tone making his meaning crystal clear: “…what am I going to do with you?”

Cooper released his grip on the knife. It fell to the floor with a clatter, as lightning lit up the room, thunder rumbling close by. He was bent forward slightly so your foreheads could touch, his eyes drifting closed as you smoothed your hands across his broad shoulders. Warm breath dusted your neck as Cooper’s kiss traveled down the slope of your shoulder, his big hands securing you in place at the small of your back. The energy between you was electric, buzzing like an alarm whose warning you refused to heed. You were in too deep, now. With Cooper, you always had been.

He began to work the buttons of his flannel undone, as you went down to your knees. You looked up at Cooper from between his feet, his heavy boots caked with mud and grass from the storm outside. Lightning struck very close to the house; the lights flickered as thunder bellowed from above. And then, the room went dark, moonlight alone providing any visual for the two of you.

Cooper was unaffected by the loss of electricity. He folded his shirt and set it aside, hands moving to undo his belt and jeans. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness quickly; you were able to make out the image of Cooper, his hulking frame towering over yours, stray strands of hair fallen forward as he watched you at his feet. You were on your knees in front of The Butcher himself, and it felt…exhilarating. Rather than making a plea for your life, your tongue was gently pleading for his sex, padding thick and wet against the outline of Cooper’s erection.

He tugged his zipper down and freed his cock, the wet tip tapping against your lips in the darkness. You felt Cooper’s hand come to rest atop your head, his fingers knotting softly inside your hair, guiding you gently onto him. The only sounds in the room were Cooper’s shallow breaths and grunts, and the wet sucking sound of your throat closing around him. Cooper let you suck him a moment longer, before removing his cock from your mouth, breathily explaining “-the shower, baby-want to fuck you in the shower.” He felt around the floor for his duffel bag and retrieved a flashlight from inside it. Switching it on, Cooper smiled when he saw your streaked makeup in the light, knowing his cock had made a mess of it. He held the flashlight between his teeth and trotted upstairs with you, using the beam to light your way.

The bathroom in its entirety wasn’t that large but thankfully, the shower was. Cooper switched on the faucet and held his arm under the water stream to check the temperature, bits of dried blood re-wetting and dripping to the shower floor. You’d quickly discarded your own clothes and stepped inside, around the water stream till Cooper had adjusted it. He shed his pants and hastily folded them before tossing them onto the sink. He was in a hurry; he’d never wanted you this badly before.

The flashlight’s battery was almost dead, its last real bit of power used on the way upstairs. Now, you and Cooper were essentially in complete darkness again, except for the moonlight threading through the small bathroom window. Cooper had no trouble manipulating your body in the darkness. His right hand slipped immediately between your thighs, reaching around with his other arm and pulling your chest into his. Warm water cascaded down Cooper’s back and shoulders, dripping along his chest and between your breasts where your bodies were pressed together. His fingers rubbed rough circles over your clit, making your hips buck into the heel of his palm as you selfishly chased your climax. “That’s a good girl,” Cooper murmured in the darkness, his breath labored with arousal. “Gonna come for me just like this, yeah?” You whimpered a reply, but Cooper wasn’t satisfied. “Oh, you can do better than that, sweetheart,” he said. “Use your words. Tell me how you’re gonna come-.” He dipped his head forward, teeth catching the soft skin of your neck and biting just enough to make you squirm even more wildly on his hand. “Ungh-on-oh!” you squeaked, your hips trembling. “-On your h-hand, S-Sir!”

Cooper’s face was stoic but satisfied in the darkness; he was in his element, his happy place. He was in control. As you quivered and shook on his hand cupping your pussy, Cooper slid his other hand around your throat, briefly silencing your scramble of moans and whimpers. “WORDS, baby,” he gently reprimanded, his fingertips tapping against your pulse. “Can’t give you what you want till you ask for it-.”

Cooper slipped a finger between your lips, hooking around the smooth spot inside you, your spongy walls sucking his finger greedily. Your head fell backward, a string of desperate pleas tumbling from your mouth, interspersed with Cooper’s name. He let you come, giving you what you needed because you’d asked for it so nicely. You gushed all over Cooper’s hand and wrist, slick spilling between his fingers and onto the shower floor. He couldn’t see it in the darkness, and he didn’t need to; he could feel your blood on his fingers, knew the texture well and that your orgasm had surely painted the shower floor red at his feet.

He removed his finger from inside you, once you’d stopped squeezing it, and popped the slippery digit inside his mouth. A coppery, musky flavor sank warm on his tastebuds; Cooper exhaled gratefully through his nose, releasing his finger only after sucking every drop of you from it.

Lightning crackled above the house as Cooper lowered himself to his knees in front of you. You rested your hands on his shoulders, leaning into his sturdy frame as he sank his mouth between your legs. Cooper’s tongue found exactly what he’d hoped to find, what he craved…more of your sweet arousal tinged with the bitter tang of fresh blood.

You knew you were bleeding; your period had started that morning. You also knew that Cooper had a preference for fucking you on your period; you’d just never really thought much of it. The truth was, the blood aroused Cooper, reminded him of his other, secret life, and the power he held over others. Seeing himself covered in someone else’s blood, especially such intimate places like his cock, helped Cooper achieve the most powerful orgasms imaginable. It’s one of the reasons he’d grown to love you; your openness to trying literally anything sexually was liberating, allowing Cooper the chance to indulge his most taboo fantasies. One of those fantasies included eating you out on your period. He’d tried to bring other women around to the idea, but each of them had been repulsed by even the suggestion. You, however, had no reservations about letting Cooper use your body however he wanted, in whatever state it was in…

His tongue bathed your outer lips, licking them clean. Cooper massaged his cock in lazy strokes, in no hurry to come just yet. When the tip of his tongue pressed inside you, he grinned against your pussy at the way your soft, wet entrance trembled around him.

One of your hands was now on Cooper’s head, fingers locked in the strands of his hair. When he hoisted your leg over his left shoulder, you braced yourself against him, knowing he wouldn’t let you fall. Cooper held you steady as he nuzzled and lapped your essence, his eyes closed in a kind of reverent, trance-like high. It was the closest Cooper had ever come to a religious experience, drinking your most precious offering at the altar of your thighs, and for him, it was more than enough.

When he’d made you come twice more on his tongue, Cooper rose to stand, pressing red kisses to your belly and breasts that looked like lipstick marks. He reached for you in the darkness, his hands pulling your hips closer. You felt Cooper’s erection prodding between your thighs, and closed your hands around it. He hissed in a sharp breath as you grazed his tip; he was so sensitive, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Get on your knees,” Cooper panted urgently, his hand on your head pushing you downward. You sank to the shower floor, letting Cooper guide his cock into your mouth in the darkness. Lightning flashed outside, briefly revealing his blood-soaked lips parted in desperation, his eyes fixed on you at his feet while he used your mouth for his own satisfaction.

Cooper finished down your throat with a growl, his stomach tense as hot streams of cum pulsed over your tongue. You swallowed his seed with a contented grin, humming softly around Cooper’s shaft as you tugged the last drops of his cum between your lips.

The water continued to pour over your bodies as Cooper cradled you against his chest, rocking you gently. In that moment, he almost regretted his decision, almost thought of changing his mind. But there was no sense in getting sloppy after all these years, after so long a run of keeping his secret life secret.

Cooper glanced at the bathroom sink. A thin sliver of moonlight cast onto the knife you hadn’t noticed him bring upstairs along with the flashlight. He pressed his lips to your forehead one last time in a silent kiss goodbye, and reached toward the sink…

[coeurcanelle]

Hold my heart even if it's cold pt2

pairing:surfer!ellie x reader

fluff,sad ending

pt1

You cant help but fall deeper for Ellie,you're even ready to confess. However things take a turn after the both of you team up for a competition

"what's that"

"my surf journal"

The journal was open across her knees, and she held a stubby grey crayon in one hand. Her fingers moved with ease, sketching waves, horizons, and faint outlines of surfers mid-flight on the ocean.

You and Ellie had started hanging out beyond the beach lately—beyond the wild, crashing waves that had first brought you together. Ellie wanted to show you her favorite secret spot and,as always,you followed.

So now you found yourself in a cave.

Not a creepy one—though you had started to second-guess that when she had suddenly dove under the water, motioning for you to follow. The rocks around you had seemed to close in, narrowing into an underwater passage that twisted into shadows.

Before panic could take hold at the thought of no exit, Ellie had glanced back, her eyes sparkling even in the dim, underwater light. Her hand had reached out, a silent encouragement, and something in the steadiness of her gaze had calmed you.

Then, she had disappeared around a bend.

You pushed forward, your lungs burning slightly, until the narrow tunnel opened up into something breathtaking. When you and Ellie resurfaced, your gasp wasn’t just for air—it was for the view.

It was like a secret world, carved into the edge of the coastline and hidden behind jagged rocks and foamy waves. The air was cool and fresh, carrying the salty tang of the ocean. Overhead, a large circular opening framed the night sky, the moon perfectly positioned above, spilling silver light into the space below.

The glow touched everything—the rocky walls, the rippling water in the center of the cave, and the two of you now sitting near its edge.

The water in the middle of the cave was like a natural pool, still and glassy, reflecting the moonlight with an almost magical glow. It lapped gently against the rocks, making soft, rhythmic sounds that seemed to echo in the quiet space.

You sat close to her, close enough to see how her brow furrowed slightly in concentration, close enough to notice the faint streak of moonlight catching the curve of her cheek. Occasionally, you leaned forward, trying to get a better look at her journal without disturbing her.

She was truly an artist, whether she was carving through the waves like she was born under the ocean or sitting here with a crayon, capturing the sea’s beauty on paper. The soft, precise lines seemed to breathe life into her sketches, as though you could feel the weight of the water and the warmth of the sun through them.

At this point, you started to wonder if there was anything Ellie couldnt do.

Suddenly,she flipped over a page. You noticed her quick glance at you before returning her eyes on her blank page. With a smirk that didn't betray the mischief in her green eyes.

"I should add your amazing wipeout from earlier that was epic"she added with a chuckle before sketching again.

It wasn't even an hour ago. A big wave was forming further away and ellie encouraged you to take it,biting back her mischevious smile.

You had taken the bait, of course, paddling hard and catching the wave just as it began to curl. For a brief, thrilling moment, you were inside the wave, surrounded by walls of rushing blue and white. It was perfect,until Ellie’s board appeared out of nowhere.

She surfed alongside you like it was nothing, her movements fluid and controlled, before she deliberately angled her board just close enough to nudge yours. The contact was subtle but effective. Your balance wavered, and then the wave claimed you.

For a brief second, you saw the shimmering wall of water surrounding you, an emerald dome illuminated by sunlight. Then came the chaos—saltwater crashing against your body, spinning you in a disorienting dance before the wave spat you out mercilessly.

Your board shot out one side of the water, while you were ejected the other way before falling back into the water. When you resurfaced,she was in front of you unable to hold back her laugh after watching the whole thing.

"Are you gonna add the other rest of my top 5 most embarassing moments too"you asked rolling your eyes,her laugh from earlier echoing from her lips again.

"Relax"she said her eyes not leaving her journal,"you just didnt see it from my pov." She began sketching, her pencil moving deftly across the page, and you leaned over to catch a glimpse. It was you, ejected out of the ocean mid-wipeout, flying through the air like an electrified cat.An unnecessary, over-the-top rendering that you didn’t need to see to remind yourself how humiliating it was.

"It was legendary. If it was me i'd probably be in a wheelchair right now" she added with a light chuckle knowing damn well you could have ended up like this after she pushed you.

You were lucky you didn't break your spine after that. Hospital bills weren’t exactly in your summer plans, and giving up surfing just when you’d started to get the hang of it wasn’t an option either.

Her pencil stopped, and she turned to you with a glimmer of curiosity in her eyes"but what's your top 5 ?"

Not only was she talented at drawing, but she also had an uncanny ability to make situations worse

"theres no way im telling you"you replied crossing your arms arms firmly.

"Is it that bad?"she smirked,the hint of curiosity in her eyes now shining with mischief. "Was it waving at the wrong person? Peeing in your pants?"

"Worse"

Images of you doing the world's stupidest things flashed in her mind. "Oh, no. Did you-wait-did you shit your pants?"

Your face twisted in disgust, and she burst out laughing, clearly enjoying how much she was getting under your skin.

You decided to tell her anyway."Fine, I’ll tell you. I was crossing the road-"

"you got hit by a car?"Ellie cut you off looking at you with wide eyes.

"You just spoiled it. Thanks"

Her cold hand found warmth on your arm as she gently shook you, as if trying to make the details of your story bubble out of your mouth. Just another excuse to have her hands on you.

"What? Tell me! And why the hell weren’t you looking for cars?"

"It wasn’t my fault!" you defended, the images of your small accident replaying in your mind. Even if you tried to forget it, the embarrassment still lingered, clinging to you without peace.

"The green light was for me," you continued now that she was all ears. "So I was crossing the road, and this car hit the brakes too late. It wasn’t going that fast—city traffic—but next thing I know, I’m kissing the pavement."

The ghost of her cold hand grazed your arm as her mind replaced the scene of you ejected by the ocean with this new spectacle of you on the ground instead. Skill issue.

"I got up and kept walking," you said casually.

She furrowed her brows in disbelief, "You just walked off? Like nothing happened? Were you even hurt?"

"Of course I was, but everyone was staring—I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t break a leg, but I was limping, and some kids were even laughing at me." In that moment, all you wanted was to disappear, to act as if it never happened. Yet here you were, telling Ellie, who found the whole thing anything but serious. "Bet you would’ve laughed too."

"Me?" she pointed at herself, fake surprise lacing her voice. "Never! I’d feel bad for you!" she said, biting her lip to suppress the laughter that was already bubbling up.

She would have been worse than those kids.

"Right. You’d come running over with your stupid journal, sketching me like, ‘Whoa, that was legendary! Can you do it again?’ while the doctors put me on a wheelchair."

That was it. She couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her laughter erupted, loud and shameless, tears streaming from her eyes as she doubled over.

Between gasps for air, she grabbed her journal and flipped to a blank page. "There’s no way I’m not adding this." In seconds, the page transformed into a dramatic sketch of you face-planting after being hit by a car.

Her laughter continued, filling the space around you, and despite yourself, you couldn’t help but smile. Even as she laughed at you, there was something undeniably endearing about being the reason for her joy.

"I can't tell you anything, can I?"

You still ended up telling her the rest of your top 5 most embarrassing moments, not getting any justice in the way she represented you. Soon, her surf journal was a collection of doodles of you doing the stupidest things known to mankind. Even if it wasn’t all about surfing, she still wanted to have a piece of you in it.

But she promised she’d never show anyone.

It was a secret between her and you.

♡°♡°♡

As days passed, when you were away from the rhythmic sound of the waves, you were never truly far from Ellie. Even in her home, where the scent of salt and water didn’t linger in the air, there was still this tide. It was much different from the ones she had encountered,much bigger and tighter.

This pull between you and her.

"Why the surf?" you asked, turning to her. You were both lying on her bed, staring at the fluorescent stars on her ceiling. They had been there since she was a kid, left to gaze at when she wasn’t at the beach stargazing at far-off planets.

Her body wasn’t cold next to yours, having just stepped out of a warm shower. Your arms brushed, and if you dared to move away, even that simple gesture would surely tear her heart in pieces.

A moment of silence followed your question before she replied honestly, "Makes me forget about everything. I always try to keep my mind busy at home, but surfing at the beach just hits different. Like I can let go of everything and just focus on the waves, you know?"

Ellie knew a lot about you, but no matter how much she talked, she was still like a closed shell. And when she opened up even a little, you feared that if you got too close, she might shut again. Since she wouldn’t tell you everything, your mind wandered through her mysteries.

Was her smile just naturally that bright, or was it a mask?

Had her eyes always been this light shade of green, even in the shadow of the sun?

Did she love the sea because it was everything to her, or because it was all she had?

Before your thoughts spiraled too deep, she pulled you out of them. "You?"

Surfing had only recently become your passion, but you knew it wasn’t anything comparable to Ellie’s. "I like water," you shrugged.

A light chuckle escaped her lips. "Deep."

"No, I mean, like, water’s nice. I always end up with bruises when I try land sports. Never when I’m swimming," you explained, trying to imagine yourself practicing another sport. If it wasn’t near the sea, then Ellie wouldn’t be with you. That was something you wouldn’t have minded a few weeks ago, but now, it felt inconceivable.

"Well, you can drown," Ellie pointed out. She wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t a fear of yours. Not anymore.

"Drowning’s not that bad," you replied.

Ellie’s curiosity piqued. She turned to you, her eyes narrowing as she picked up on the seriousness in your tone. "You’ve drowned before? I thought you were a good swimmer."

Your lips formed a smile instinctively,ready for another storytime "That was before I even learned how to swim."

Her green eyes locked onto yours as you transported her to your past with just your words.

"I was in the water, like a dumbass, and an asshole pushed me into a spot where I couldn’t touch the bottom. I don’t remember anything as I sank, but when I woke up, I didn’t feel like I had just woken up from a good night’s sleep. I felt like I had just woken up from pure void."

Drowning had never been an experience for Ellie. When she didn’t know how to swim, she simply avoided the water. So, she couldn’t fully understand how you felt, but she tried to imagine it.

"It’s weird and peaceful at the same time," you added.

Drowning underwater didn’t seem peaceful to her. But something else did—something she was afraid was real.

Ellie’s eyes shifted back to the stars on the ceiling. "Or maybe your brain just... kinda erased the traumatic part. Before drowning."

"I’m sure it did. I wouldn’t want to remember that." The thought of being helplessly swallowed by the water, despite your best efforts to fight back, seemed too painful for your heart, too damaging to your mind. It was easier to pretend like nothing happened.

Ellie noticed your unfocused gaze at the shiny stars above, their light not reaching your eyes. "Guess you could say you got watered down by the situation, huh?"

Your lips pressed into a thin line. Unimpressed. But at least she brought you back to the present.

"Come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?" she grinned.

You shook your head. "No, it was totally awful."

Ellie didn’t tell you, but she made a promise. A promise to herself that she would be your shore when the ocean threatened to pull you under, the breath of air that filled your lungs and brought you back to life, and the sun that chased away the clouds, painting your summer days with light.

Because as long as she was here, she wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

♡°♡°♡

Days? Weeks? You didn’t count how much time you spent with Ellie. You just knew she was becoming more and more a part of your summer. The more you found yourself in her arms after a long day of surfing or simply holding her hand, the more you started to picture the two of you forever.

That night, as you sat together on the sand watching the fireworks, you couldn't stop thinking about telling her.

How you could barely call your heart your own, how every beat seemed to echo her name. Not to mention, the two of you had never argued, never been on bad terms, which made the fear of rejection and distance feel even heavier. But you couldn't stop the warm swell in your heart, the feeling that was about to explode.

You had to tell her.

"Ellie, I—"

You turned, tearing your gaze from the explosions of color to look at her, only to find her ghost.

Your heart skipped a beat, panic blooming briefly in your chest, until you spotted a figure sprinting toward the water. The familiar green surfboard in her hands glinted under the scattered light of the fireworks.

Excitement rushed over you like a wave, washing away your unease, your heart racing for a new reason. Without hesitation, you followed, your feet sinking into the cool sand before the icy waves greeted your legs. The water was cold, but you didn’t care—not when Ellie was smiling at you, inviting you to join her for a better view of the fireworks as she sat on her board.

Her board wobbled above the water as both of you balanced on it.

"Comfortable?" Ellie asked, her voice softer than the seafoam she drew with the same board.

"Yeah," you assured, shooting her a small smile that betrayed the huge affection swelling in your heart. With that, Ellie turned her gaze to the sky, where a dance of colors shone in her eyes.

That same explosion of light and color burst in her heart, igniting every time you returned her smile, sparking brighter whenever you reached for her hand or rested in her arms.

So when you moved closer now, resting your head gently on her shoulder, she didn’t hesitate.

Her arm slipped around you instinctively, pulling you in with a warmth that felt more comforting than the summer sun.

Neither of you said a word. The rhythm of your hearts beating in sync as one said it all.

Your confession could wait. For now, you wanted to keep melting in her arms until the magic of this night ended.

♡°♡°♡

The next day, the ocean gleamed under the early morning sun, the waves rolling in with perfect rhythm, each one an open invitation.

Your time at the beach had seamlessly expanded from afternoons to entire days; at this rate, it felt like you practically lived there. Mornings began with Ellie at the beachside café, sharing breakfast and trading sleepy smiles over warm coffee. Afterward, you’d stretch together on the sand before diving headfirst into the waves.

By midday, with the sun hanging high above, you’d both sit on your boards, taking a break to enjoy the sandwiches you’d packed that morning. Ellie never failed to praise your cooking, even though it was always the same simple meal.

“ellie, it’s just a sandwich. Anyone can make it,” you’d tease.

“Still, it’s the best sandwich I’ve ever had. The way the cheese just melts in my mouth. Epic ,” she’d reply, her mouth full, grinning like you’d handed her a gourmet feast.

You’d laugh and return each day with the same lunch and receive the same praises, the small moments between waves growing into something you treasured.

When the moon replaced the sun, you’d either follow Ellie to the moon pool cave to gaze at the stars or retreat to her cozy apartment if she was too tired for a nighttime swim.

Surfing lessons had long since stopped being your reason for coming to the beach. Ellie rarely instructed you anymore, instead offering small tricks or tips, leaving you to practice and perfect them yourself.

Her eyes shone with admiration whenever you were on a wave, and the way her voice laced with praise left you grounded.

You only came because of this invisible thread pulling you toward her.

Much like the wave forming before your eyes.

Ellie sat on her board, floating near the shore. She took in the view—you. Lately, you'd been practicing her tricks, and her eyes glimmered with curiosity, wondering how well you'd execute them today.

This morning, the ocean invited you to try something bold.

A towering wave began to form in the distance, its crest foaming as it gathered strength. You positioned yourself perfectly, your body instinctively moving in harmony with the swell. As the wave rose higher, you paddled hard and caught it, the rush of momentum pulling you to your feet in one smooth motion.

Ellie’s gaze followed you, her smile fading into something more serious as she realized what you were attempting.

This was your chance to impress her more than ever.

You glided effortlessly along the curve of the wave, your body leaning into the motion like you were born to ride it. Then, with a calculated shift of weight, you turned sharply and disappeared into the barrel, swallowed by the cascading tunnel of water.

For a heartbeat, you were gone, completely hidden from view.

Ellie sat frozen, her eyes fixed on the spot where you’d vanished. The wave’s roar seemed to stretch time, the moment suspended in a breathless hush.

Then, as if summoned by the ocean itself, you emerged from the other side of the wave, your silhouette cutting cleanly through the spray.

But you didn’t stop there. You had more tricks under your sleeve.

With precision, you launched into a series of spins,one, two,three. The sight of your board slicing through the air like a knife through silk was caught not only by ellie but all the surfers in disbelief around the beach.

You landed back on the water with a controlled grace, your board skimming the surface as if the wave itself had bent to your will.

Ellie’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened.

She had briefly instructed you on spins, expecting you to try other, simpler tricks more often. But not only had you just successfully nailed them—without demonstration—you did three in a row without falling!

"Watch out for the flies," you teased, seeing how agape her mouth was.

Quickly, she snapped her mouth shut, pressing her lips into a thin line, and her praising words got caught in her throat. "My mouth wasn’t that wide open," she defended.

"Just watch out," you chuckled.

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes, the images of earlier still replaying in her mind, unable to forget your impressive moves.

You casually walked along the shore, planting your board down. Surfers around you watched your every move, taking note of your board.

That’s how people would recognize you from now on.

Your eyes caught a quick glance at them before falling back on Ellie. "Okay, but you gotta tell me why were you practically drooling over me"

Her cheeks flushed red, the color deepening as she kept her eyes on yours. "I wasn’t—I was just... ugh."

She had to tear her gaze away from how good you looked out of the water to form words. "You were really cool. Amazing. On that wave."

Your heart screamed at how adorable she was. It took every ounce of self-control not to squish her red cheeks. "Really?"

"Yeah... there’s a competition coming up soon," she said, scratching the back of her neck. "With teams of two. So if you want—"

A competition? And she wanted you to team up with her? Ellie, the best surfer on the beach?

"I don’t know. I’m still nowhere near your level," you cut her off, your confidence fading with the last remnants of adrenaline.

Ellie blinked in surprise. "No need to be on my level."

You shook your head. "But you're so good at everything. Balance. Flow. Precision." You pointed at her board, catching the sunlight by her feet. "Bet you could even do triple backflips without slipping a beat."

She stared at you, blinking twice.

Have you seen yourself on the waves?

"Okay, don’t get carried away. I do fall..." she revealed, but she knew it never happened when you were watching. She made sure of that. "Sometimes. Just not when you’re watching."

The words lingered in the cool air before dissipating, leaving you silent.

Ellie approached you, wanting to dispel the uncertainty clouding your eyes. Confidence looked good on you, and she didn’t want to be the one to watch it disappear.

"There’s no one else I want on my team," her voice softened as she locked eyes with you. She meant every word. "Seriously, have you seen you? You’ve come so far in such a short time. You can do stuff I would have killed to be able to do when I was at your level."

Her gaze quickly fell to your lips, which curved into a small smile.

But she didn’t mirror it.

Your envy smile.

"Yeah, but I still want to be like you," you admitted. Because to you, your skills were never good enough. You’d try countless times to execute them, but the shadows of self-doubt still clawed at your board. You weren’t sure what it was, but every time you watched Ellie on the waves, you were reminded you could never be as good as her.

As perfect as Ellie.

"Don’t," Ellie’s eyes darkened with seriousness. She didn’t want you thinking that.

She didn’t want you to compare yourself to her.

"I watched you do three spins in a row. I didn’t even show you how to place yourself, how to shift your weight on the board in the air, or how to prepare for the landing. And you landed without even losing your balance. Do you have any idea how impressive that was?"

If you were honest—no, you didn’t. You just did it, remembering how Ellie executed it in the air and trusting the feeling. You weren’t thinking much about all the technicalities.

Ellie hesitated before placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. No matter how close you were, the hesitation still lingered in her mind. But you accepted her touch with your heart.

"And the ocean doesn’t need two of me. It needs you," her gaze softened again. She wanted her words to reach your heart and carve themselves there instead of your doubts"Your style, your flow—it’s all your own. You’re unique in your own way. Even better than most surfers here."

Your eyes shifted from her to the figures dancing on the waves ahead. This might be the first time you paid attention to them, as the world around you always blurred when you surfed beside Ellie.

"So don’t make that rookie mistake, trying to match me. You shine differently when you’re being yourself." Her cold fingers found their way around your warm ones, lifting the heavy weight in your chest. Her sincere look, when your eyes met hers, chased it all away.

"You don’t need to change anything."

Because that’s how the ocean carried your name through the waves.

Because that’s how the sun kissed your skin when you floated above the waters.

Because that’s how her heart found space for you.

Only you could make it melt with overwhelming warmth when you took her into your arms.

"You’re not just saying that so I don’t break down in front of you?" you asked, as she hugged you back, her cold arms wrapping around your waist. She held you like you were the most precious treasure in the world, unwilling to let go.

"I mean, we already have a whole ocean here. I don’t need you to cry me a river," she chuckled, until you pulled away. Her body started to warm up next to yours.

"Seriously, you’re amazing," she whined, desperate to feel the warmth of your body embracing hers again.

But she quickly played it off, leaning on her surfboard, which couldn’t wait to meet the water. "I wouldn’t ask you to be on my team if you weren’t. Getting humiliated in public isn’t really my thing," she said casually, glancing at the surfers on the waves, before turning back to you with a smirk.

Her casual smirk that secretly begged for a reaction.

"Unless you do want to eat your surfboard in front of everyone and make us lose. I’m personally not into it," she shrugged.

You weren’t much into competition. Like Ellie, surfing had become your passion, something personal. The only person you felt like you’d been competing against this whole time was yourself, with Ellie always helping you surpass your limits. Proving your skills to others never particularly appealed to you.

But the way Ellie was looking at you, with that burning determination in her eyes, made you not want to let a stupid refusal extinguish it. She wanted to show the world how good you were—and how amazing the two of you were.

"Okay. Count me in. Looks like you don’t give me a choice anyway," you said.

Ellie’s heart jumped with excitement, already imagining you and her floating above the ocean, effortlessly winning against the others, just like in her dreams.

"I do," she chuckled, trying to seem casual. "You can choose me, or those other dudes over there." She pointed to the surfers, each doing a mediocre job at recreating your spins from earlier.

Wow,the impact you had.

You mirrored Ellie’s smirk, grabbing your surfboard, your eyes shining with the same determination. "Nah, I wanna beat them."

Ellie grabbed hers and began walking toward the water, lying flat on her board before paddling. Her heart burned with more than just excitement.

"Now we’re talking."

♡°♡°♡

"Watch out, everyone! The queen of the waves is back on the beach. Will she conquer them or let them swallow her whole?" Ellie declared with exaggerated flair, balancing on your board. Her dramatic tone earned an easy laugh from you.

The competition was tomorrow, and it wasn’t just you and Ellie who couldn’t stop talking about it—every surfer on the beach buzzed with anticipation. This was the moment everyone had been waiting for. Not just for the bragging rights or the chance to show off, but because the prize money was enough to fund the rest of the summer in style.

It wouldn’t make you and Ellie millionaires, but it was more than enough to guarantee endless fun.

Still, nothing could compare to the moments you shared with Ellie, moments that felt absolutely priceless.

One second you were lounging on your couch, and the next she was standing on your board. All because you casually mentioned she couldn’t perfectly capture the way you moved on the waves.

You hadn’t meant it as a challenge, but there she was pulling a series of acrobatics like a clown whose sole purpose was to entertain a king.

"Will she do a handstand? Can she do a handstand?" she asked with over-the-top enthusiasm. Before you could respond, she kicked up into a wobbly handstand, her legs shaking but holding steady.

Your laughter filled the room, and she couldn’t hold back her own grin as she tumbled down.

She was just warming up.

Next, she stood on one foot, arms stretched out like a tightrope walker. "And for my next act!" she announced with mock gravitas, her voice dripping with theatrics.

You raised an eyebrow, silently wondering how far she’d go just to make you laugh.

And then she crouched low, launching herself into an attempted backflip. A loud smack echoed as she landed awkwardly on your board, sending both of you into hysterics.

It wasn’t about imitating you—she just wanted to impress you.

And it worked.

Slow clapping, you shook your head with a wide grin. "Okay, show-off. I’m not doing all that."

"Come on," she teased, placing the surfboard back against the wall before plopping down beside you. "Think of the crowd going wild when you pull off moves like these!"

You rolled your eyes. "I can’t even do backflips on solid ground. Imagine me trying that on a wave."

Ellie laughed, the sound warm and infectious. "Fine, but I still think the crowd would love it. Even if you wiped out."

"Yeah, they'd go wild watching me eat it right after," you said, your own laughter joining hers.

In that moment, the looming pressure of the competition melted away. All that mattered was the sound of her laugh mingling with yours, and you wished you could stretch this moment into forever.

The next morning arrived in the blink of an eye. The sun blazed high in a bright blue sky, and the ocean roared its waves, promising both challenges and surprises.

You tried to focus on the two boys ahead of you, weaving tricks on the waves, but the weight in your chest grew heavier with each passing second.

Your turn was next.

"Hey." Ellie’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. She’d noticed the far-off look in your eyes.

You turned to her, offering a nervous smile.

"Don’t overthink it," she said, her voice unusually soft, searching for the right words. "Just pretend it’s like any other time. Like we’re training. Just… having fun together."

Her attempt at reassurance didn’t erase all your anxiety, but it chipped away at the edges, making the weight in your chest a little more bearable.

"I don’t have to pretend," you replied, your voice steadier now. "We’ll be having fun together anyway."

Your words brought a smile to Ellie’s face, one that seemed to lighten something heavy she’d been carrying deep inside.

The commentator’s voice boomed across the beach, announcing your names, and the crowd erupted with cheers louder than the waves crashing behind you.

With one hand holding your surfboard and one hand holding ellie's you were more than ready to face whatever the ocean had to offer.

You stepped forward with Ellie, the sand cool beneath your feet and the salty breeze brushing against your face.

Ellie gave your hand a reassuring squeeze,"Ready?"

"Always"you nodded before she let go of your hand, lifting her surfboard with ease.

The roar of the ocean sounded less intimidating now and more like an invitation.

Both of you paddled out into the water, finding your rhythm as you navigated the swells. The ocean churned beneath you, each wave growing taller, sharper, and more powerful.

'Dont overthink too much'

Ellie caught the first wave, her movements fluid and confident as she carved through the water. She rode the crest with precision, her board gliding over the shimmering surface as if it were an extension of her. Then, with a burst of speed, she launched herself into the air, twisting her body into a corkscrew before landing gracefully.

The crowd erupted into cheers as she paddled back out to join you.

Your turn came quickly.

The wave rose high behind you, its power vibrating through the water. You pushed forward, feeling the surge of adrenaline as you stood on your board. The wind rushed past your face as you leaned into the wave, your body moving instinctively.

Then, you saw your opportunity.

The wave curled into a perfect barrel, and you disappeared inside, the world narrowing to nothing but the wall of water around you. Time seemed to slow as you emerged from the tube, launching into the air. You spun—once, twice, three times—before landing smoothly, the ocean steady beneath your feet.

Ellie had told you to do this trick again,it easily impressed her so it would surely leave the same effect on the jury.

The competition continued, with both of you pushing yourselves above limits you would have thought were impossible to reach a few weeks ago,each performance feeding off the energy of the other.

Ellie executed a flawless 360 flip, followed by a graceful descent back onto the wave. You responded with a series of rapid cuts, spraying water high into the air as you sliced through the wave’s face.

But toward the end, Ellie caught a towering wave that swelled higher and faster than expected. You watched from a distance as she launched into the air for a daring trick, her body twisting perfectly.

For a moment, it looked like she’d nailed it,but the landing came too fast.

Her board slipped out from under her, and she hit the water with a splash, disappearing beneath the surface.

“Ellie!” you shouted, fear gripping your chest as you paddled toward her.

She resurfaced quickly, coughing,“I’m fine. Go finish it"

You teared your gaze away from Ellie ,focusing on finishing what you started instead.

The pressure was on, but you took a deep breath and refocused. The ocean offered you one last wave, and you seized it. Riding its crest, you leaned into a sharp turn, letting the power of the water propel you forward. As the wave began to close, you leapt into the air for one final spin, landing cleanly to the sound of the crowd roaring in approval.

When you paddled back to shore, Ellie was there waiting, the crowd erupted once more, cheering for your performance.

Despite Ellie’s fall, the energy was undeniable,you had both given the audience a show to remember.

"Are you okay?" you asked, concern evident in your voice as you looked at her, her wet auburn hair plastered to her face.

It was the first time you'd ever seen her fall.

"Yeah, it’s nothing," she replied, her gaze refusing to meet yours.

Maybe she was upset—falling at such a decisive moment, especially when she never struggled with those same tricks in practice, away from the watchful eyes of others.

You decided not to press further, not wanting to make it seem like a bigger deal than it was. Truly, it wasn’t. You knew Ellie’s strengths, her skills, and how she was better than all the surfers here combined.

After what felt like an eternity, the judges finally delivered their verdict, the commentator’s voice ringing out loud and clear.

You had won first place.

A warmth of pride and joy spread through your chest. Your first victory in surfing—and you won it alongside the person you loved most in this world.

"You did it," Ellie said, her eyes finally meeting yours, glowing with pride.

To her, your tricks had saved the team. If not for you, her wipeout would have surely dragged her rank lower.

But you disagreed. "We did it."

Ellie had done more than just fall. Her tricks were far more advanced than any of the others here. Her fall wasn’t from a lack of competence—it was a reminder that she was human.

She was just like you.

And in that moment, you realized she wasn’t the perfect image you’d painted in your head. You didn’t have to envy her skills anymore.

Without thinking, you leaned in, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

In the span of a few seconds, her face turned as red as a tomato, her eyes wide in surprise. But it didn’t take long for that shy smile of hers to return.

Before either of you could say much, the two of you were surrounded by the second and third-place teams, posing with your golden medals for local photographers and fumbling through unprepared answers for eager journalists.

"Ellie! Ellie, over here!"

Both of you turned toward the high-pitched voice.

A little boy came running across the sand, his eyes shining with excitement as he approached Ellie.

"Can you sign my shirt, please?" he asked, tugging at his blank white shirt impatiently.

"Sure, where’s your pen?" Ellie asked, noticing he hadn’t brought one.

The boy dashed back to his parents and returned quickly, nearly stumbling on the sand. He handed Ellie a black marker.

Crouching down to his level, Ellie quickly sketched a moth before signing her initials beneath it.

"You’re so cool! My mom says I can’t surf because it’s too dangerous, but when I grow up, you’ll teach me, right?" he asked, looking up at her with hopeful eyes.

Ellie straightened, returning the marker to him with a soft smile. But this time, the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

"Of course," she said, ruffling the boy’s hair. His face lit up with pure joy.

You watched the scene unfold, your heart warming at the sight. For the boy, it was undoubtedly the best day of his summer.

As Ellie stepped back, the boy turned to you, holding out the pen hesitantly.

You crouched down, ready to sign something for him as well.

"Who are you?"

Your smile faltered.

"I won the prize with her. You didn’t see me? I was right beside her on the wave," you said, trying to mask your disappointment.

He shook his head. "Uh, no."

Ellie, failing to suppress her laughter, quickly looked away, her shoulders shaking with amusement.

You really thought you’d leave a lasting impression with your moves, but maybe your expectations were too high for certain people.

“See you next time!” the boy waved as he ran off.

But you knew he only meant it for one person.

A few minutes later, your prize was ready. The bald commentator approached, holding a massive check in his hands, the flashes of cameras nearly blinding you if you dared to keep your eyes open for more than a few seconds.

You’d never received a check this large before—and neither had Ellie. When the sun began dipping below the horizon, you decided to do something special to celebrate your first win with her.

Your initial thoughts included hosting a small party with her and the other surfers or simply spending time together at your apartment. But every plan sank before it could fully form.

“Yeah, uh, maybe next time? I’m just really tired right now,” she admitted, struggling to meet your disappointed gaze.

You didn’t press her further. She’d been training alongside you for this competition, pushing herself hard and taking on the punishing waves. These daily surf sessions must have drained her—not just physically.

So, you nodded and handed her the check, trusting you’d see her again tomorrow, just as you had every day this summer.

But the next day, she didn’t even answer your texts.

10:03 AM: “Wanna meet up to cash the check together ?”

10:10 AM: “Ellie?”

Normally, she would’ve replied almost instantly—telling you she was on her way to the beach or asking if you planned to surf all day so she could tidy up her room before you came over, half-exhausted from the waves.

But today, you weren’t even left on read.

10:11 AM: “You awake?"

Still hopeful, you drove to the beach with your surfboard, heading to your usual spot on the sand.

The sun moved lazily across the sky, but Ellie never appeared. Hours later, when you checked your phone, you finally saw a reply.

5:46 PM:“Spent the whole day cleaning up. Maybe tomorrow"

Cleaning? Ellie, who always said surfing was her escape, choosing chores over the ocean?

You guys had just won something together—something that might not seem huge to her, given the collection of gold medals and trophies on her shelves. But it was monumental to you. It was proof that every single roll of the wave, every fall, and every hour of effort had been worth it. Proof that, for once, you didn’t suck at sports.

With a heavy heart, you still replied that tomorrow worked, still holding out for an explanation for her unusual behavior.

The next day, the sun still shone with the same brightness as yesterday, and the beach was alive with cheerful vacationers and competitive surfers. Life around you continued as if everything were normal—as if Ellie hadn’t stood you up for the second time in a row.

The waves ahead of you, no matter how huge or threatening, couldn’t drown out your thoughts about Ellie’s strange behavior.

Everyday when you checked your phone, you were met with more excuses and apologies, followed by hours of silence.

6:13 PM :"Jesse wanted to hang out. How about tomorrow morning?"

4:44 PM:"Sorry I overslept"

9:55 AM :"I’m tired, sorry."

Was it you? Had you done something to upset her? Maybe kissing her cheek had crossed a line? Maybe you’d made a sarcastic comment she took to heart? Or was it her fall during the competition? She knew this ocean better than anyone, yet she stumbled while you didn’t.

The absence gnawed at your mind. Each day apart stretched the distance between you painfully further.

Then, one day, the sun didn’t make its usual bright appearance, hidden behind gray clouds. That was when you learned the truth.

Ellie had used all the prize money.

It wasn’t something you’d explicitly agreed to split, but you thought it was obvious—you were partners, weren’t you? You’d imagined using that money to explore different seas together, creating memories beyond the beach. Fairs, aquariums, movies—anything to make her smile and deepen the bond you believed was also precious to her.

But it wasn’t just the money that churned the storm in your heart.

It was the fact that she wasn’t sharing anything with you anymore.

Ignoring you for days, as if you had never carved each other’s names on your boards.

As if you had never spent hours talking under the stars until the sun rose.

As if she didn’t have to buy a new journal because pages of you filled her other one.

Was she just pretending all this time?

“Hey, what’s up?” a random surfer asked, sliding unsteadily on the wet sand to catch up with you.

You’d noticed more people recognized you after the competition, finally learning your name now that Ellie hadn’t been on the beach for days. But still, you were known only as her partner.

“You seen Ellie around?” he asked again, a smirk tugging at his lips.

He knew.

Everyone knew Ellie didn’t share the prize with you, leaving you alone on the beach.

And you knew what everyone thought of her now.

“No,” you replied sharply, hoping to end the conversation.

But he pressed on, his friends trailing behind him like a pack of seagulls circling a stranded fish.

“Is it true?” he asked, stepping in front of you to block your path. “The rumors? That she didn’t give you a single cent?”

His friends burst into laughter, as if being used was the punchline of the century.

It took every ounce of restraint not to slam your surfboard into his face and wipe that grin away.

“What do you want?” you asked coldly, your piercing gaze silencing their mocking snickers.

You were already upset enough about Ellie. You didn’t need random surfers adding fuel to the fire burning in your heart.

“I’m just asking, bro. Chill out.” He stepped back, raising his hands in mock surrender. Then, with a smug grin, he added, “But I gotta say...”

You didn’t want to listen, but his words forced their way into your mind like uninvited guests.

“...That was a really asshole move.”

An asshole move?

Definitely.

But was Ellie an asshole?

"I wouldn’t stick with her if I were you," his words lingered in the air as he slid away with his group.

Ellie wasn’t an asshole, right?

She was a smoker, but were you really just a stash of cigarettes?Something she burned through, inhaling every last bit of you to appease her cravings, only to toss you away once you were used up?

But if you were a cigarette, wouldn’t that make you her addiction? Something she couldn’t live without for the rest of her life?

You needed to know.

You had to.

You didn’t want those random dudes, who knew nothing about you or Ellie, to be right.

Since the texts and calls hadn’t worked, you decided to show up at her apartment. Taking a deep breath to calm your racing heart, you raised your hand, ready to knock on her door.

But the sound of paper rustling at your feet made you pause.

You bent down, picked it up, and unfolded it to reveal her handwriting:

“I think it’s better if we don’t see each other for a while. Sorry.”

Maybe she was right.

Maybe she’d be better off without the warmth of your hand.

And you,without the cold of hers.

[youngsadlesbian]

Hi I was wondering if you can make a Marlene fic where reader is like scared? To be a lesbian/like girls cuz her family and friends doesn’t approve of that kinda stuff so she does whatever to pretend she doesn’t like Marlene more then a friend like going on dates with boys etc?

This is kinda based off that song “Good luck, babe!” by Chappell Roan

Feel free to ignore this btw <3

EMBRACE — marlene mckinnon.

pairing: marlene mckinnon x reader

summary: you've been in love with marlene since your first year at hogwarts, but there are two problems: she doesn't know, and you're not very accepting of the idea of liking girls.

a/n: this is my first request and i'm so excited, yay!!! i think i managed to bring most of what you asked for. since there wasn't anything specific about a sad or happy ending, i decided to have marlene and reader end up together, because enough with sad gays in the world!!! hope you like it.

word count: 2,5k

warnings: internal homophobia, homophobic parents, angst with a happy ending, and supportive friends <3

Your biggest secret was also your greatest pain. You don't know exactly when you discovered you liked girls. Maybe when your kindergarten friends talked about marrying a handsome and wealthy man, and you couldn't picture yourself in that scenario. Or perhaps, when you paid more attention to older girls than to boys. Anyway, you just had the feeling it was something you always knew.

Just as you quickly discovered that this wouldn't be something your parents would tolerate.

During a trip to London, there was a couple of two young girls holding hands. It would have been ordinary if they hadn't kissed.

Your mother immediately scowled and made sure to change the path, but not before muttering a complaint.

"That's the greatest shame for a mother. Thank God my girls are being raised the right way."

Your father agreed, while you were sandwiched between your two older sisters, trying to process all the information.

Years passed, and before you turned eleven, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore knocked on your door, saying something very improbable: you were a witch and had a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Your parents didn't understand at first. You came from a very traditional Muggle family, and at first, they thought the old man was crazy. But with a few light demonstrations of his magic and a long conversation, it didn't take long for Dumbledore to convince your parents that attending Hogwarts was a great idea.

He sent a Hogwarts staff member to help them buy all your supplies in Diagon Alley. And then, on September 1st, you boarded the Hogwarts Express.

You shared a compartment with six children: Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, James Potter, Severus Snape, and Lily Evans. Each one had a distinct personality, and specifically, James was very annoying in his attempts to tease Severus to impress Lily.

Lily was Muggle-born just like you, which led to a friendship blossoming from the first moment. You talked about books, movies, and even discovered that you had attended the same school for some time. You adored her.

Except for Severus, all of you were sorted into Gryffindor, which was a relief. Usually, you didn't fit in easily in new places, but apparently, Hogwarts was bringing out the best in you.

It was on your second day that you met her. Marlene McKinnon, a Gryffindor student like you. She was beautiful. Her blonde hair and strong personality captivated you from the first glance. But you knew that could never happen and made sure to mask all the feelings that might arise.

It was harder than you thought. Marlene's mere presence in the same room as you was magnetic; you simply couldn't avoid looking at her. If she wore her hair differently, you would clearly notice and make a compliment here and there, trying to keep it as platonic as possible.

As the years went by, you devised other strategies. Having a few boyfriends seemed to work only to maintain your clean image, but never to erase your feelings. You knew it wasn't normal to like girls, and by Merlin, it was horrible to fight against it daily.

Your sixth year at Hogwarts arrived, and you thought things would be easier. You had lost count of how many boyfriends you had and of all the times you had to swallow hard noticing that Marlene seemed to follow the same path as you.

But with girls.

Your jealousy seeing her so close to Dorcas Meadowes didn't go unnoticed by your closest friends; Lily and Remus.

You were gathered in the library, finishing your Defense Against the Dark Arts homework while Marlene was talking too close to Dorcas. You didn't even realize you were gripping your quill too tightly until the sound of it snapping in half and Remus' laughter brought you out of the trance.

"Hey, take it easy, Y/N/N." Remus waved his wand and muttered 'Reparo', fixing it. "That's better."

"Thanks." You took a deep breath, noticing Marlene approaching. Standing up abruptly, you grabbed your books. "I need to go. Bye, Moony. Bye, Lilbee."

"But you..." Lily didn't finish her sentence because you were already far away.

It wasn't the first time she noticed how you looked at Marlene, but at first, Lily imagined it was something platonic. You were a very affectionate friend who handed out compliments left and right. But looking at it differently, you always seemed to have a bit more care when around Marlene. You were friends, but you always held back with her. With Lily, you were... you.

"You know, Lily..." Remus began, putting his inkwell into his bag. "I think Y/N has something with Marlene."

Lily looked at him, confused. "Like a secret relationship?"

Remus laughed and shook his head. "More like... I think Y/N likes Marlene."

Lily wasn't going to have this discussion with Remus, even though she had also thought of that possibility. If you had never talked about it, it was probably because you weren't ready and didn't feel comfortable.

It didn't take long for your worst nightmare to become reality. You always thought you hid things well, and by choosing the right boys to date, no one would ever suspect it was all a facade. Lily started having strange conversations, talking too much about Marlene and the possibility that she was in a serious relationship with Dorcas.

Your heart broke every time she mentioned it. But you truly thought she didn't notice your expression turning sadder each time the subject came up.

One day, Lily got tired of it. You were sitting by the Black Lake, making sparks come out of your wands when she finally decided to voice her suspicions for the first time. "Do you like Marlene?"

You froze. Trying not to stammer, you replied, "Of course I do. She's my friend."

"That's not what I'm referring to." Lily had never seen you wilt so quickly with something, just as she had never seen you cry in your life. She was scared because she didn't intend to break you with a simple question. Apparently, this was something you didn't handle well. "You don't have to say it if you don't want to. But know that I won't judge you, okay?"

You nodded and sniffled. "Since the first year," you began to speak, and Lily didn't interrupt. "I've always found her very interesting, you know? All the attitude and everything. But she's a girl, and that's not right."

"Not right because someone told you so?" You loved Lily for always knowing exactly what was going on without you having to say it, but in this situation, you hated her for making you realize that this was something put by your parents in your head. "If you don't have support at home, know that with me, with all of us, you do."

Lily hugged you, and for the first time, you didn't feel abnormal for liking girls. You embraced it with all your heart and saw beyond what you had always been told.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Breaking old internal prejudices was very difficult. As much as there was support from Lily and Remus – who, for some reason, decided to have the same conversation with you the next day – there was also a part of you that didn't have the courage to put it out there.

Then came the fateful party where everything changed.

Gryffindor had won the third consecutive Quidditch game, and it was reason enough for a big celebration. Students from other houses sneaked in during the night to the Gryffindor common room for a Marauders-style party: packed with Muggle music and magical drinks.

You were in your usual corner, talking to Sirius when Marlene arrived. She looked stunning. The leather jacket and the red Queen shirt contrasted with her striking blonde hair that only seemed to suit her. You sighed, and it was as if the world stopped.

After about five cups of firewhisky and butterbeer, you were drunker than you had planned. Drunk enough to have an endless conversation with Marlene.

She noticed that you seemed more open and comfortable than in all the years she had known you, cracking jokes, and she could even swear you were flirting with her.

You. The most straight and boy-crazy witch at Hogwarts.

Marlene had always noticed you a lot, and why not? You were beautiful. It wasn't a common British beauty, nor one usually seen in the magical world. They were features and particularities that were only beautiful because they were on you. For some years, she had a huge crush on you, dormant after realizing you would never look at her that way.

Everything changed when Marlene gathered the courage and asked you to dance to a slow song. Your sober version would never have accepted. Proximity meant you would probably do something you didn't want to.

Almost at the end of the song, Marlene leaned in and whispered in your ear, "I've really enjoyed getting to know your full version today, Y/N."

You were speechless and just smiled in the way you only did for her. And the world seemed to stop when you realized you could never deceive yourself about the truth.

You were truly in love with Marlene McKinnon.

The next day, you wished you had woken up with alcohol-induced amnesia to avoid dealing with all your problems. But remembering the words of acceptance from Remus and Lily gave you a strength you had never had.

You decided to tell your friends.

More animated than usual, you made your way to the Great Hall for breakfast, sitting in the same place since the first day: next to Lily, across from James.

The group found your excitement strange for two reasons.

You weren't a morning person, and you should have had a monstrous hangover.

"I want to tell you something." You looked at Lily. The young witch's green eyes lit up in understanding, and she squeezed your hand under the table.

Sirius, always the icebreaker, interrupted you before you could speak. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Laughing, you shook your head. "No, Padfoot. Actually, I want to ask you all something."

James, the most impatient of all, practically shouted, "Just say it!"

You took a deep breath, and Lily's grip on your hand tightened. If the others said anything negative, at least you would have her support. It was better than nothing, right?

You stirred your oatmeal and avoided looking at the boys. "What do you all think about girls who like girls?"

The silence from the four of them was deafening. You instantly regretted asking and were about to dramatically get up and hide in the dormitory until the next year. Then Sirius broke the silence.

"I think it's as normal as girls who like boys." Sirius was one of your favorites for his sensitivity, only shown to those he truly cared about. "Do you like girls, Y/N/N?"

Your silence was answer enough. Peter, who usually didn't offer many opinions, decided to speak up too.

"I don't have any problem with it. It's a part of who you are, and of course, we don't choose who we fall in love with." You truly adored Peter and how he always said the right things.

"Is it Marlene you like?" James's question made you choke on your oatmeal. He laughed so loudly he received dirty looks from the Hufflepuff students. Your face turned scarlet, and that seemed to amuse him even more. "Of course, it is."

"You guys really have no problem with this?"

Remus then said something you would never forget.

"We don't have a problem with it because it's not a problem. This is you, and we embrace that because we truly love you as friends. There's no shame in loving someone, whoever they are."

"Except if you confess you love Snivellus. Then we will have a problem." Sirius drew a genuine laugh from you. "Tell her how you feel, Y/N/N."

And you really wanted to. But it seemed more difficult than confessing your biggest secret to your best friends.

You really tried. There was a day when you were making a potion, and you simply couldn't stop looking at Marlene. Her concentration, the way her hair fell over her shoulder, everything about her was mesmerizing. You almost confessed right then, but a group of Slytherins interrupted, breaking the moment.

Another time, you were sitting by the Black Lake, just the two of you. Marlene was talking about her plans for the future, and you were lost in the way her eyes sparkled with excitement. You wanted to tell her, but the words got stuck in your throat, and the moment passed.

Finally, one evening, as you were both studying late in the library, the silence was filled with a tension you couldn't ignore. You decided that you couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Marlene, I need to tell you something," you began, your heart pounding in your chest.

She looked up from her book, curiosity in her eyes. "What is it, Y/N?"

Taking a deep breath, you said, "I've liked you since the first year. I tried to hide it, but I can't anymore. I know it's not probably what you expect me to say, and I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I just needed to tell you."

Marlene's eyes widened, and for a moment, you thought you had made a huge mistake. But then, a smile spread across her face. "I've liked you too, Y/N. For a long time. I just never thought you'd feel the same."

Your heart soared, and you felt a wave of relief and joy wash over you. "So, what now?"

"How about we go on a date?" Marlene suggested, her smile widening.

You nodded, unable to contain your happiness. "I'd love that."

You went on your first date the following weekend. It was perfect – a trip to Hogsmeade, sharing butterbeer and laughter, and ending with a walk around the lake. You both felt the connection growing stronger, and it was everything you had hoped for.

Months passed, and you and Marlene grew closer. Your friends were supportive and happy for you, and for the first time, you felt truly accepted for who you were.

One night, there was another party in the Gryffindor common room. The Marauders had outdone themselves, and the room was filled with music, laughter, and dancing. You and Marlene were in the center of it all, enjoying each other's company.

As the night wore on, a slow song started playing. Marlene pulled you close, and you danced together, lost in your own world. You felt a surge of courage and decided it was time to take another step forward.

Leaning in, you whispered, "Marlene, I love you."

She looked into your eyes, a smile spreading across her face. "I love you too, Y/N."

Without hesitation, you closed the distance and kissed her. It was a gentle, sweet kiss, filled with all the emotions you had kept hidden for so long.

The common room fell silent, and when you pulled back, you saw your friends beaming with happiness. Lily and Remus gave you a thumbs-up, while Sirius and James clapped and cheered.

In that moment, you knew you had finally accepted yourself. You were happy, loved, and surrounded by friends who supported you. It was everything you had ever wanted, and more.