#i wonder just how many ace people are either sex repulsed or dont experience horniness

[transmandrake]

Feel like I have something to say about how off it feels when people are like 'being ace doesnt mean you hate sex / are sex repulsed'

Like yeah, true! Being ace is not necessarily that.

But... no one ever seems to really, discuss sex repulsion outside of that. Which feels wierd. Sex repulsion makes me feel infinitely more queer and isolated than not experiencing sexual attraction, a thing I really just don't think about and rarely affects me.

But sex repulsion? Literally impossible to go a day without seeing a post mentioning something to do with sex. On a bad day, which are thankfully few, I simply cannot look at things, or even talk to people, without feeling like knives are jamming into all of my nerve endings.

And the thing no one ever, ever mentions is that sex repulsion does not mean unhorny. Do we even have a term for people who don't experience horniness? Asexuality as a spectrum seems to actually just be a filling bar between experiencing or not experiencing a single metric that isn't super relevant at all.

That's wierd right? Like, there are so many parts of sexuality that never seems to come up or even be searchable. There are infinite genders and searching sex repulsion is desolate, aside from 'its not asexuality' and 'do you need to be cured?'

There is nothing more isolating or queer in me than the seemingly lonesome experience of experiencing something that I desperately hate and yet cannot imagine being without. Its close to my experience of transness, but even that at least comes with a community and resources.

'I hate even the mention of sex, but I like it theoretically, I want to be able to like it, I don't know what to do about this' is just.

Empty.